#this whole train of thought i'm on right now would seem fake to me except my sister has also experienced this :(

[w3bheadz]

FISHHOOKS

The morning after the games, I felt completely numb. I was hurt, yeah. I think the better term would have been heartbroken. Alone, I sat in the apartment, pondering why I had believed him. I thought I could trust him. He told me he loved me, and then tried to kill me after swearing he’d protect me. I guess you couldn’t trust anyone in the games. But I’d known him most of my life, was all of that a lie..? I felt used. Lied to. Worthless. I really had just been a means to an end with Dolion. I walked into the kitchen, spotting the fruit bowl and picking up an orange. I picked it up, poking through the tough skin and getting in just enough to start as I sat on a chair. I could peel my own orange, I didn’t need him.

Tigris came in soon after, a sweet and sad smile gracing her face the same as it had been since I met her. She crouched in front of me, wiping tears off my face. I hadn’t realized I was crying. I don’t really feel sad. I don’t really feel anything, actually. Did that make me a bad person? Not feeling sad when I had killed someone I used to hold so dear to my heart? No. I couldn’t let myself think that way.

She brushed hair out of my face, looking into my eyes “It’ll be okay, mags. All you have left is this ceremony, and then you can go home…” “I have no one at home… They’re all gone. My family is gone… I’m only half of who I was when I came to the capitol” I said, my throat feeling tight as it tried to close around the words I so desperately tried to force out. I was alone. I’d never been alone before. Even when my younger siblings weren’t around, I had Peggy. Now, everything was different. “Oh, love…” Tigris sighed, pulling me back into her embrace “The moon does not need to be whole to be loved” She wiped my tears away gently, pulling me up from the chair “What you need is some time, some rest, and some relaxation. We’ll get you set right as rain” On the train home, I was alone for the first time except for the peacekeeper in the car with me. I stared out the window, tears streaming down my face quietly. I was told they had built something new. A small village on the beach known as ‘Victor’s Village’. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it. Everything was so different, so new. I’d never been good with change.

It wasn’t until I was standing in front of the entirety of District 4 with a smile as fake as the people of the capitol themselves that I realized something. I had to move on. I couldn’t let my self pitying disaster of a mind bring down my entire life. I didn’t have anyone to lean on, so I couldn’t expect to survive in the self loathing thoughts that occupied my mind. 

I had to move on and make myself a new life. It didn’t matter if it were good or bad, but I knew I couldn’t just glare at the sky and blame whatever god was in charge of fate. I walked into my new home, looking around at the blank walls and bland decor. I would have to make this place my own in some way. It was a job for another day though, as I saw my guitar. I picked it up, starting towards the coast. I sat on a log near the edge of the water, starting to strum the chords. A voice I can barely recognize as my own starts to sing softly, the waves crashing against hot sand adding to the softness of the sunset.

“On a weary road, I walk alone,

Sunset's fading and the moonlight's blown.

Leaving behind these empty streets,

I wander home with heavy heartbeats.

Oh, loneliness is my only friend,

Memories haunting till the bitter end.

Lost amidst the echoes of yesterday,

Returning home alone

Whispers in the wind tell stories bright,

But they can't chase away this endless night.

In every shadow lies a faded dream,

Where love once flourished, now it seems

I'm just an echo from times gone by,

A soul seeking comfort under a starry sky.

Oh, loneliness is my only friend,

Memories haunting till the bitter end.

Lost amidst the echoes of yesterday,

Returning home alone

Familiar faces become distant dolls;

Time has worn them thin like tattered shawls.

The laughter that once filled each room

Now fades away like roses' sweet perfume.

Through broken windows, moonlight peeks;

Silent tears trace down tear-stained cheeks.

This journey homeward holds no cheer;

Solitude surrounds me; it sears clear.

Oh, loneliness is my only friend,

Memories haunting till the bitter end.

Lost amidst the echoes of yesterday,

Returning home alone.

Upon these worn wooden steps I climb high—

Aching heart yearning for reasons why

Life took its toll on hopes unmet;

Homecoming drenched in sorrow: life's cruel bet.

Oh, loneliness is my only confidant,

Burdened souls seek solace

Once again, returning home alone,

Heart battered and broken like ancient stone.”

 My fingers ached from not having played in so long, my voice tired. I hadn’t even realized how sad the song was before now. Peggy used to sing it to my siblings and I to get us to sleep. I stared out at the water, setting the guitar in the sand beside me. I’d been there a while, the sun disappearing beyond the coastline when I heard footsteps. I grabbed ahold of the neck of my guitar, standing and spinning around to hold it above my head when I saw a girl about my age. 

Her eyebrows raised, hands up in defense “Woah there, Flanagan. It’s just me” I recognized her. I couldn’t remember exactly how long I’d known her, but she ran a stall with her brother in the market. I’d never actually spoken to her, but She and I would nod hello when it was setting up or shutting down time on the dock. “Rowena..?” I asked hesitantly, not remembering if it were her name or someone else's that I'd met before.

“Nice to see you alive, Mags Flanagan. Would have been a shame to see another fire get put out by the societal fuckers.” Roe teased, walking down the sand hill and sitting beside me as I put the guitar down and sat with her. “And don’t call me Rowena. Only my mother calls me that, and my brother when he’s mad.” I nodded slowly, taking in the stars in the sky “What are you doing here?” I implore, looking towards her. I’d never gotten a close look at her before, but now that I was getting one, it was almost mesmerizing. She had dark brown eyes, tan skin, and a scar going from the right corner of her mouth all the way down to the collar of her shirt. Her hair was a dark brown, pulled back into a loose ponytail at the base of her neck, a necklace with a shell adorning her neck. She was dirty, smelling strongly of the docks. She’d been working. “Well, came to see ya, see how you were doing…? I don’t know-” Roe muttered, turning away from me. “I saw everything with your family, didn’t think you’d want to be alone for your first time back” She responded, standing up “If you need me, you know where to find me, I guess” I don’t know why exactly, but I wanted her to stay. I just waved and let her go though, which would remain a question in my mind later as I laid in bed, tossing and turning. Why did I not even say goodbye? I’d never had an actual conversation with her before, had it been the social awkwardness of a real interaction with someone I’d never met before? I guess… 

As sleep finally took over my brain, the rapid running thoughts slowed down. I felt the softness of the pillows, the velvety material of the blanket, and nodded off, hoping to actually be able to stay asleep. If I had known everything then, would I have even thought a second more about the other girl? Probably not, but there were other times to think about this, not right now.

[iviarellereads]

Gideon the Ninth, Chapter 2

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(Ninth House skull icon) In which we meet the Lady of the Ninth House.

With just five minutes until the shuttle landing, a final voice sounds from the doorway, calling Gideon "Griddle", and observing that her genius strategy was just to walk out the door. So ends the eighty-seventh escape attempt.(1) Reverend Daughter Harrowhark Nonagesimus wears black and sneers, which by Gideon's estimation make up 100% of her personality.(2) She's just seventeen but she does both with ancient self-assurance. Harrow has brought with her Crux and Aiglamene, as well as a few nuns in alabaster grey face paint with black over it in skull patterns.

Harrow thinks it's embarrassing. She doesn't care that Gideon's trying to run away, only that she's doing it badly. Gideon says she's faked Harrow's signature on the application form, releasing her from servitude, and if Harrow tries to deny the signature's authenticity, Gideon will tell "everything" she knows.(3)

At this, Harrow dismisses the "geriatric fan club", who leave the pit entirely except for Crux and Aiglamene. She says her parents should have smothered Gideon as an infant, to which Gideon replies she'd like to see them try now.(4) Harrow asks why Gideon would do all this, and Gideon says because she completely fucking hates Harrow, because Harrow is "a hideous witch from hell. No offence." Harrow replies pityingly that she barely even remembers "Griddle" most of the time.

A stare down, at which Harrow relents. She's at an impasse, but the muster call was real. Can she bribe Gideon to attend? Gideon scoffs at this, as there's no use for money on the Ninth anyway.

Harrow removes from her pocket an entirely authentic parchment, with official House letterhead, purchasing Gideon's commission in the Cohort to second lieutenant with full officer training. Her freedom could be paid in five years of service on good conditions, instead of the thirty of her original plan.(5)

Gideon asks what the price is. Harrow simply wants Gideon at the muster meeting. Gideon finally asks what Harrow will announce there. Harrow, unsmiling, asks if Gideon wouldn't like to know.

A long moment of silence, then Gideon rejects the commission. She's not going back into Drearburh one more time, not for Harrow, not even for this.

Harrow loses her composure, calls Gideon a "disgusting little cuckoo", and starts taking off all her bone jewellery. Gideon recognizes what she's doing and feels both pity and disgust as Harrow removes dozens of pieces of real bones of former Ninth residents, until she seems like what she is: a desperate young woman. Harrow offers to alter the terms. If Gideon will give her a fair fight, and wins, she can leave with the commission. If Harrow wins, Gideon must attend muster, and leave afterward, still with the commission. Harrow even signs it right in front of Gideon, though Gideon remarks that it's her mother's signature. Harrow says she couldn't very well sign her own name, or she'd give the whole game away.(6)

Gideon snatches the commission and shoves it inside her bandeau before evaluating the field, as the shuttle begins its descent. Harrow is a skeleton-maker with no bones left to build from, and obviously desperate, her eyes red from lack of sleep. She's only seen Harrow in this mood once before, and never thought to see it again. It would be an embarrassing act of cruelty and assholery to accept the duel.

That doesn't stop her.

Unfortunately, Harrow has planned ahead. That lack of sleep? She was seeding the landing pit with bones, of course, just in case Gideon would make it come to this. Digging into the hard packed floor and tightening it back up again to hide them.

Gideon doesn't stand a chance, though she fights as if she does. Eventually Harrow's skeletons pin Gideon to the ground, as the shuttle touches down, and Crux calls the fight. Harrow asks Aiglamene to tell the pilot to wait, he'll be paid for his time, and this meeting will take no more than an hour.

=====

(1) Well, I suppose there's our answer from last chapter, eh? (2) How easy it is for an eighteen year old to see things so simply. (3) What does Gideon know? (4) What happened to Harrow's parents? (5) Sounds almost too good to be true, doesn't it? (6) We can probably assume Pelleamena didn't sign it herself for reasons of whatever the answer is to note 4.

[nothing-but-dreamy]

FAKE DATE

Pairing: FFXV! NYX ULRIC x GENDER NEUTRAL!READER

Words: 10.822

Warnings: some cursing, fluff, mentioning of cheating

A/N: So.... this idea started as a quick idea for a one shot.... I guess, it got a little bit out of hand... but who cares... have fun... it's worth to read it

Summary: Your ex marries your cousin and because it's family, you have to attend there with a date. No matter how hard it would be for you. You talk with Crowe about it and she comes up with an idea: a fake date with one of her friends, Nyx Ulric. Nyx agrees reluctantly and even if he had sworn to himself to avoid meeting new people or rather to let them get too close … little did he know that you could change this plan without even knowing it…

"Crowe, it's horrible! I really tried to talk with my mother but she won't accept the fact that I don't want to come to this wedding. She said: 'We become a family. You're mature enough to work past all this'. Argh! I would love to scream.", you cried out, raking violently through your hair with your fingers.

"Yeah... Right... It's about maturity that you have to watch how your cousin marries your ex-boyfriend who had left you. For your cousin. This marriage is crazy. Since when do they even know each other?"

"For seven months.", you muffled into your hands.

"Wait! What? You met this idiot what? Ten months ago!"

"Yup. And then, we had a family meeting where he met my cousin. They got along pretty well. Maybe I should have sensed something there already. But I didn't.", you said heartbroken.

"So, he met your cousin behind your back, he cheated on you and your mother still wants you to join the wedding? Are really all of your family so stupid, sorry for that, to accept the fact that he’s a lying and cheating bastard?"

"Yes, they are!", you cried out, burying your face into your hands once again, "Just because he's some high-paid, upper class doctor. And you know what the worst is? I have to bring someone with me. A date. You know for the 'aesthetic'. It’s my mother’s twisted ‘perfect world’ thingy. But I don't have someone. I'm still hurt because of what he had done to me. I don't wanna meet someone new.", you breathed devastated.

Crowe nodded slowly, understanding your point because she was there as she had picked up the shattered pieces that had been your former self. Then, an idea popped up in her mind even if it was a tricky one, "YN, I might have a solution for your problem."

Slowly, you looked up, "Yeah... I already considered running away but I can't. My mother would find me everywhere."

Crowe chuckled, "No. Not that. Maybe we keep this running away idea as a back-up. No, I might have a solution for your date misery."

***

The next day, Crowe searched for Libertus and Nyx in the training area of the Kingsglaive headquarters. Finding them warping around, she watched them for a while before both men closed up to her for a small break.

"I will never really get used to this warping shit. My stomach makes somersaults all the time.", Libertus complained and rubbed over his stomach and chest to calm down the heartburn.

"Well, not every person is made for flying.", Crowe said teasingly what caused Nyx to chuckle and Libertus to roll with his eyes.

"So, what's up? It's a bit too early for you.", Nyx said, leaning against a pillar with crossed arms.

"Actually, I wanted to talk with you, Nyx. I... I need your help.", Crowe said carefully.

Nyx frowned as he saw the wariness in his friend's eyes, "And for what?"

"The thing is... I don't really need your help. It's rather a friend of mine.", Crowe said and saw how Nyx pressed his jaws together.

"Crowe? Is this another try to set me up with someone?", he asked serious.

Crowe gnawed on her lower lip, "No... Well... Not really?"

"Crowe! Come on. We already had that!", Nyx said serious, drawing his brows together.

Crowe raised her hands, "I know, I know. You made this clear the last time. But this is different. YN really needs help. Listen, their ex marries and they have to attend there-"

"Why? Why do they have to attend their ex' wedding?", Libertus asked confused.

Crowe grimaced, "Well, he's marrying their cousin."

"What?", Nyx and Libertus called out at the same time.

Crowe pinched the bridge of her nose, "It's a pretty shitty situation. This asshole cheated on YN with their cousin a few months after they started to date. But because he's such a great doctor, with much prestige and money, everyone seems to be cool with this wedding no matter how YN feels about this."

"Holy six...", Libertus whispered, shaking his head at how complicated this situation seemed to be.

"And why do you need me? What role shall I play in all this?", Nyx asked even if he already had an idea what would come next.

"Well... Not enough that YN shall be part of the wedding, they also shall bring a date along. Something about aesthetics or stuff. I dunno. Don't ask me. And that's the point where I need your help, Nyx.", Crowe said and looked at her friend with a pleading expression and a hopeful smile while Nyx stayed silent.

"Why don't you ask me for help?", Libertus asked, pointing at himself.

Crowe looked apologetically at the taller man, "Well, sorry, but I think Nyx is more of their type-"

"More of their type? Crowe!", Nyx called out, getting slightly agitated.

Crowe raised her hands in surrender, "Calm down. I don't wanna set you up with them. But YN shall bring a date to this already crazy and hilarious wedding. The idiot cheated on them for several months, left them and now, YN’s still very hurt. After the breakup and the announced engagement, they were a mess. I needed some time to collect all the pieces that were left from them. They're not able to date someone or to find someone new. So, I thought about a fake date. It's not a real date. You just have to act like it. Please, Nyx. You don't have to do much. Just accompany them to this wedding. Keep them company and distract them a little. Just have some fun."

Nyx considered the idea. He wasn't really in the mood for dates or weddings but he knew Crowe well enough. If she thought about this as a good idea, he really might be helpful. Nyx’ strong helper syndrome was now also kicking in once again, "So, just if I say yes, and I say if, what shall I do?"

On Crowe's lips grew a smile because she knew Nyx would say yes if he was already this far with his considerations, "Nothing much. You meet them. I guess they will pick you up or something. You attend the wedding in the church and the party afterwards together. That's it. You don't have any responsibilities except to be by YN's side as their date. Maybe support them a little bit during this whole carnival."

"And when shall this trickery be?", Nyx asked warily.

Crowe's face changed into a grimace once again, "That's the stupid part... It's this weekend."

"Crowe!", Nyx called out. It was already Wednesday.

"Hey! It's not my fault. YN also told me about it yesterday. Obviously, they tried to discuss this whole thing about the presence with their mother but she was very persistent with this point. Nyx, it's urgent. Next to you two, they're my best friend. I hate to see them suffer. It’s not fair because they’re a jewel of a person. That their ex shall get a happy ending after everything he had done is already the biggest joke. But now, he will become part of their family, as well. I really need your help.", Crowe begged.

Nyx took a deep breath and released the air slowly, "Alright, alright. I will do it. But", he said and raised his hand as Crowe already started to get excited, "I guess I need a tuxedo or something like this-"

"I will take care of that! You don't have to do anything like I said. I promise."

"Then, just one more thing. Maybe it would be better if we met before the wedding? You know, to check if we get along and if the chemistry is working."

***

"He did say yes?"

"You really had doubts?", Crowe asked with a smirk. Your reaction had been gold as she had told you that she had found a date for you: Nyx Ulric - one of her friends and colleagues.

In fact, you had heard a few things about him. That he was from Galahd, had lost his family and had a tendency to be a little bit gruff in front of others but with that he was just hiding his soft side, as Crowe had told you. To meet him and Libertus was long overdue, "Well... A little bit to be honest. I mean, he doesn't know me. I know we will just be acting but still it's like a blind date. What if we don't get along? It's all about chemistry and stuff..."

Crowe blinked and stared at you, "Well, I'm sure you two will like each other. In fact, Nyx mentioned the exact same doubts with the exact same words."

"Really? Well... it's maybe just coincidence.", you said, turning around to get something to drink from the kitchen.

But no matter how quickly you had been, Crowe had seen your blushing cheeks and grinned about it. It had been a long time since she had seen you like this: filled with life and pleasant anticipation.

"So, Nyx is okay with this whole fake date thingy?", you asked, while gnawing on your lower lip. You felt nervous to meet him even if he was a friend of Crowe.

Crowe smiled, "Don't worry, he is. You said you could get a tuxedo?"

"Yes! Of course. Just give me his size and I will take care of it. It's easy for me. Tomorrow, it can be here."

"Great. So, could I bring him here tomorrow? You two can meet and he can try on the tuxedo."

"Perfect idea. And I will cook something for us.", you said with sparkling eyes. You had no idea why but suddenly, you were even looking forward to meeting Nyx, your unexpected lifesaver.

***

"You said, I don't have to do anything.", Nyx complained as he made his way through the city the next day with Crowe by his side.

Crowe rolled with her eyes, "Yes and you really don't have to do anything except to try on one or two tuxedos, alright? It's not that I would drag you to a shopping trip. We meet YN at their place where you can try on the clothes. So, we will kill two birds with one stone."

Nyx had laid awake last night while thinking about this fake date idea. Sure, he wanted to help Crowe and her friend but that didn’t change the fact that there was a reason behind his reluctance to date new people. So, once again, Nyx asked himself if he really was doing the right thing…

*

As you heard the first knock at your door, you jumped by surprise. It was friday evening, the day before the wedding and it was arranged that Crowe and Nyx would visit you after they were done with their shift. But still, as your friend was there, you felt excited. You were even sick with nervousness to meet Nyx. He was the first guy you would meet after the horrible break-up and even if it was just a fake date, your hands became sweaty and your heart began to race.

The second knock brought you back to reality and you hurried to open the door, "Hey, guys. Come in-", you stopped as Crowe passed you and your eyes fell on Nyx who smiled at you warm and softly. Never in your life had you seen such a handsome, good looking man. Even your ex wasn't able to keep up with Nyx’ undeniable, rough sexiness. His eyes were the bluest and his lips the fullest. The stubble he sported and his greyish hair with the braids suited him perfectly. You noticed something wild in his appearance which got underlined by the tattoos on his face and ears. For the first time, you understood what Crowe had meant as she said that it was visible that Nyx was from Galahd. He wasn't hiding his roots and as it was for you, there was no reason for him to do this at all.

"YN?", Crowe asked as she saw you gaping at Nyx. Internally, she was pleased with herself. To see you like this told her that she had been right: Nyx was your type of guy.

Crowe's voice brought you back from your daydreaming, "Yeah... Sorry, I was just... Uhm...", you stammered.

Crowe grinned but stepped in to help you, "YN meet Nyx. Nyx this YN, my emotional support when I have to deal with too much of your bullshit."

You smiled thankfully, "Yeah... The support might be questionable nowadays.", you said shyly.

"That's okay. It will change again. I'm sure.", Crowe said.

"It's nice to meet you finally, YN. I heard a lot of great things about you.", Nyx said politely as you invited him in. As he and Crowe had gone to your place, Nyx was intimidated because of your fancy apartment complex. You were from Insomnia but because you were refugee friendly and even tried to help to improve the underground district your friendship with Crowe had been possible which calmed Nyx a little. But as you had opened the door, nervousness and excitement spread through his emotionally cold veins. Crowe had described you as nice, sweet and beautiful. But in Nyx' eyes, these words were far away from being suitable. Your eyes were clear and bright as you looked right into his soul. Your lips had such a rich color that they already looked delicious. Nyx knew he had to keep his composure together and actually he wasn't really interested in meeting new people as he always said like a mantra but you and your sweet appearance made it extremely difficult to stick to his plan.

"I'm sure Crowe made up a few things to let me look better.", you said chuckling.

As Nyx heard you laughing, his heart made a little jump and suddenly, he asked himself how it was even possible for someone to hurt you at all.

Pleased with Nyx' reaction about her friend, Crowe grinned, "No, I was always honest and I just told everyone how amazing you are."

"Liar. But that's okay. So, I... The tuxedos already arrived and the dinner is almost done. What about you try on the clothes, Nyx, and then, we eat?", you suggested.

"Sounds great.", Crowe said and went into the kitchen to check the oven for what you had prepared.

"Come on, I will show you the way.", you said to Nyx and guided him through your apartment into your bedroom, "So, Crowe gave me your sizes from your uniform. I got an anthracite and a black tuxedo. The only two colors my mother allows tomorrow. Just try them.", you said and shot the man next to a shy smile. Somehow, his scent was able to fill your small room so quickly that you knew it would be stuck there for a few days and you already were looking forward to it.

"Thanks.", Nyx said and cursed himself because he wanted to say more but he couldn't. Somehow, his tongue was tied up into a knot. Obviously, he had been out of training for human interactions a bit too long.

You were about to leave him alone before you stopped at the door once again, "I have to thank you, Nyx. I... If you wouldn't do that I'm sure I would die because of so many things tomorrow. I owe you really big. So, thank you really much.", you said with a shy smile and reddening cheeks. And before Nyx could say anything, you left the room and closed the door.

Nyx stared at the spot where you had stood. It was one thing to do Crowe a favor in helping you. But to see all these raw emotions mirrored in your eyes did something to him. Your voice had been filled with sadness even if you had tried to hide it. And somehow, deep empathy for you flooded his veins and anger towards your ex entered his muscles. He should accompany you? He swore to himself to do this and to watch out for you the whole evening. Because like Crowe, he already hated it to see you suffer.

*

"So, you like him, huh?", Crowe asked as you joined her in the kitchen.

You stared at your friend with shocked filled eyes, "I- I don't know what you mean.", you said defensive even if it wasn't really working.

Crowe grinned, "Come on, YN. I know you. And I saw how you were staring at Nyx. Therefore, you like him."

You felt your cheeks blushing and you even pretended to look after your cooking pots so you could avoid Crowe's smug smirk, "He's nice, yeah. I mean, I owe him a lot that he does this for me. I'm grateful for that."

"Yeah... Right. Grateful. Grateful with big, sparkling and hungry eyes-", Crowe said teasingly but got stopped by your elbow and in the next moment Nyx entered your kitchen to present himself. Crowe whistled, "Wow, look at this. I had no idea there could be a real gentleman underneath this gruff surface.", she said, which earned her an annoyed eye roll from the Glaive.

You smiled appreciatively, "Crowe has a point, tho. You look really great in this tuxedo.", you admitted. Indeed, Nyx had tried on the black tuxedo first and it was already a match. Because of the white suit shirt, his blue eyes seem to glow even more. His longer strands gave the tuxedo a nice, foreign touch you already liked, "If you ask me, you're done with testing. Is it comfortable?", you asked, checking the fit on his back.

"Yes, it's extremely comfortable. I had no idea it would fit so well.", Nyx admitted while the soft touch of your hands on his back gave him slight goosebumps.

"I'm not surprised. These are high-class tuxedos. They're very expensive. Don't worry, it's borrowed.", you explained as you saw Nyx' concerned expression, "No one should buy such things just for one evening. So, great. That was it. You're done. You can change again and then, dinner is ready. At least a little try to make it up to you and your time."

As Nyx disappeared in your bedroom once again, Crowe closed up on you with a smirk, "It's so good that I was right with my assumption that you two would fit together perfectly. And now, you will even have some eye candy to look at the whole evening. I'm the best friend you could ask for."

Instead of answering, you just rolled with your eyes even if she was right. But you wouldn't admit it out loud. Never.

*

"God, this was delicious, YN.", Crowe sighed satisfied as she leant back in her seat.

"I just can say the same. This was great. But if I may ask, what was it? I mean, I know the stuff you used but somehow the taste was … I never tasted like this before.", Nyx asked curiously. Whatever you had done, it was delicious but he never had found something similar in Insomnia before.

You chuckled, "Actually, it isn't something fancy. Vegetables, meat and rice. But the spices make the difference. You don't find these here in Insomnia. I got them from Lestallum. There's a huge market full of stands with spices and ingredients you won't find anywhere else. I like exotic stuff so this market is like a treasure."

While you had answered his question, Nyx was fascinated by the way your eyes started to glow in a new way. You were happy to talk about what you liked. Your happiness was contagious and made his heart jump. Nyx caught himself by the thought that this fake-date thingy wouldn't be as bad as he had thought in the beginning.

Crowe watched you and Nyx. She already saw the connection between you two and even if she respected your decision to be alone for a while after everything you had experienced, she saw that both of you were interested in each other. So, for her, it was the time to give you some space, "Oh, look. How late it got already. I have an early meeting tomorrow.", she said and jumped up from her seat, grabbing her jacket, "Thank you very much for this delicious meal and I wish you two a lot of fun tomorrow.", she said before she hurried out of your apartment.

Slightly speechless, you and Nyx looked after her. As Nyx met your eyes again, both of you were laughing. You looked at your clock on the wall, "Late my ass. We just have eight.", you pointed out while still laughing.

"You know what she's trying right?", Nyx asked with a grin.

"Of course. She's trying to set us up with each other."

Nyx shook his head with a grin, disbelieving that Crowe had pulled this trick, "And that although she knows that I don't want to date anyone.", he just said but regretted it immediately as he saw your face. It was a mixture of surprise and disappointment. Quickly, you tried to hide it behind a smile and that sight hurt Nyx even more than he thought, "Oh uhm... I- I didn't mean you... O-or this.. I.. I'm sorry, I...", he stumbled over his own words and cursed himself for speaking so mindlessly.

You waved with your hand to brush it aside with a weak smile, ignoring the disappointment, "Calm down. I know what you mean, Nyx. After what my ex had done, I'm also not much interested in dates. Don't forget that this will be just a fake date.", you said softly to reassure him before you collected a bunch of plates to be able to turn away from him.

But Nyx had seen the sparkling in your eyes that extremely resembled unshed tears. Once again, he cursed himself. Here he was, Nyx had promised to himself to protect you from everything that would happen at the wedding but was able to make you sad in his own way.

Quickly, he stood up, collecting the cutlery to go to your side, "Hey", Nyx said softly to get your attention, he smiled as you looked at him, "I'm sorry, YN. I didn't mean you at all. It's just...Crowe tried many times to matchmake me. It never ended well. I guess, it's because of my job as a Glaive. I try my best but... it's my work. I owe King Regis a lot for saving me. And I see myself forced to pay it back in protecting this city and its people."

"Don't apologize, Nyx. What you and the other Glaives are doing is honorable. Not everyone is able to cope with what you do all day for this city. If someone has a problem with that...well... it's just not the fitting person, I guess. The fitting person would always support you to make your life easier instead of making it more difficult.", you said and smiled.

Nyx was speechless about your caring words and your warm smile, "Thank you. You... I can see why Crowe cares so much about you. You're very sweet. And you know what? I'm looking forward to spending the day with you tomorrow."

You sniffled back a sob, "Thanks, Nyx. I'm sure it will be horrible tomorrow. Just the thought of seeing him makes me anxious right now. But to know you will be with me calms me already.", you admitted softly.

Nyx smiled but also wanted to change the heavy topic to something lighter, "So, about tomorrow. How shall we do it? Already have any plans?"

"Yeah, my idea was to pick you up but maybe it would be easier for you to come here so you don't have to carry the tuxedo around. I mean, if this would be okay for you?", you said while bringing Nyx to the front door.

"Sounds good. Oh, one thing. Shall I do something with my hair? It's not typical for Insomnian citizen-"

"No, please, don't!", you hurried but you looked away as you felt your cheeks blushing again.

Nyx chuckled, shooting you a smile as you looked back at him, "Don't worry. I won't change anything if you don't want to. I just want to make sure that you will have a nice day tomorrow."

***

The next day, Nyx knocked at your door as agreed. Once again he was excited to meet you. This time because he was looking forward to seeing you again. Usually, if Nyx was dreaming during the night, he had nightmares but the last night was filled with dreams about you. This morning, he was more rested and relaxed than ever before.

So, as you opened the door, Nyx was already smiling and happy but as he saw you, his smile faltered and his expression changed into staring, "Whoa, you look amazing.", he breathed.

Your small smile grew into something bigger that reached each of your ears, "Thank you. Come in.", you said excitedly and stepped aside to let Nyx into your apartment.

Ten minutes later, Nyx joined you in the kitchen, dressed in the tuxedo and ready. You prepared some coffee before the car would be there to pick you up, "So, what's scheduled for today?", he asked and closed the buttons on his cuffs. At least, he tried it.

You watched him fumbling for a few moments until you joined him for help, "In fact, everything's pretty timed. We will drive to the church were the wedding will be held. And after that we will drive further to the Caelum Via where the dinner and party will be. I just hope we can escape during the party when the official thing is over. So, it's done.", you said softly. Your fingers were brushing along Nyx' warm skin. You lingered a few seconds longer before you realized what you were doing.

Nyx felt the connection between you and him as well. Your touch was small, soft and warm and everything he wanted to feel again and again. As he saw your caught expression, he smiled at you to show you that it was okay and he saw that you understood.

Coffee, smalltalk and just being with each other let the time run too fast and as your doorbell rang for the arriving car you felt annoyed because this, with Nyx, was pure fun.

Nyx noticed the change in you and placed his hand on yours, "I will be with you all the time. Or, I will be close to you. You're not alone in this, okay?"

You nodded reluctantly but forced yourself to smile. And with Nyx by your side, you left your apartment for the worst day ever in your life.

*

But Nyx stuck to his word and was with you. The car brought you to the church and he was about to leave the limousine as he noticed that you weren't moving at all. Ignoring the driver's glance, he leant over to you, avoiding touching you in fear to scare you, "YN?"

You stared out of the side window. There was the church, the church you wanted to marry in one day. Not exactly your ex but generally. Flowers were decorated everywhere and between the different colorful plants stood your family. Your mother, your dad, both of your aunts and uncles and Matt...your ex.

Nyx followed your gaze and saw the group of people. Even without asking he knew it had to be your family, considering the fact how you were looking at them. Nyx noticed the younger guy in the festive attire and knew instinctively that it had to be the groom. The guy was tall, slim fit and looked like a lot of money. But the way he moved and talked was easy to dislike because he looked snobbish. Nyx saw your distress and felt sorry. He could just imagine what you were feeling right now, "Listen, we can go if you want.", Nyx suggested softly.

You shook your head, "I can't. We're family. My mother would kill me."

Nyx sighed low, "I know family is important but... you're also important. And if you think you can't handle this under these circumstances then it's okay. You don’t have to."

Slowly, you looked at him, already thankful to have him by your side, "I can do that. I have to."

Nyx nodded, accepting your determination before he left the car. The driver opened your door and as you left the car as well, Nyx was already waiting for you, offering you his arm to link your own with it.

As you two closed up on the group of your family members, your mother was the first to spot you. Suddenly, Nyx noticed a slight change in your behavior. You straightened yourself, you held your head high but the grip on Nyx' arm also became stronger.

"Darling! You look great.", your mother said, grabbing your shoulders to kiss you left and right of your face without touching your skin.

As she leant back, you saw the huge, happy smile on her lips that only money could produce, "Mother, you look lovely. The whole decoration is breathtaking.", you said with a huge smile.

It was fake. Nyx could already spot the difference because the smile didn't reach your bright eyes. Then, your mother's attention shifted over to Nyx and he swallowed thickly by the sight of her mustering glance at his appearance.

You noticed her glance as well and stepped in, "Oh, right. Mother, this is Nyx. Nyx, this is my beloved mother."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, ma'am.", Nyx said politely and even bowed a little.

Internally, you grinned about her surprised expression because she never had expected such good manners with a guy who had Nyx' looks. You knew her well enough to know what she thought.

"It's a pleasure for me. Where have you two met if I may ask?", your mother asked.

You knew it was a test and you knew how to play this game, "Through a friend. Nyx is working for King Regis."

"For the King? That's amazing."

You saw the sparkling in your mother's eyes but before she could say anything else, you took Nyx' arm to guide him away, "Excuse us, we will go inside. Searching for our seats.", you said and without waiting, you passed the group to go into the church.

As you two were out of earshot from your family, Nyx leant to you, "That was smooth."

You grinned, "Have you seen her eyes as I mentioned the King? That was pure greed. It doesn't matter if it is money or prestige. She loves it. I'm sure she thinks you're a member of the royal family. And that's the reason why it's okay for everyone that my cousin marries Matt. He's a doctor. A high-paid surgeon. Money and prestige.", you explained.

As you and Nyx sat down, a thought struck his mind. He was just not sure if he should ask or not-

"You wanna know how I could land him?", you said as you saw Nyx' glance.

"No, not how you could land him. Rather...what you saw in him. I don't know you for long but...such a guy? I'm not sure if he suits you well…"

You nodded, "Yeah...trust me, now? I know that, too. But as we met, he was…", you stopped as you remembered the early time with Matt, "We met accidentally in a bookstore. Somehow, we ended in the same row of bookshelves and he bumped into me. Obviously, he liked me so he invited me for coffee. I agreed because he can be extremely charming. But if I think about it now, we never had something in common. I was imagining things and was blinded by his looks. Although ...well…recently, I've met a guy who is more handsome than Matt will ever be."

Nyx knew you meant him. In the way you had said it and how you looked at him told him whom you meant. Nyx' heart skipped a beat by the thought of how you saw him. In his eyes, it wasn't fair. Here he was, sitting next to you, starting to like you. He was attracted to you and still, he didn't want to have any love interest. It always ended badly and that was the last thing he wanted for you. Nyx wanted to say something, to lower your interest in him, but the wedding started and cut him off.

*

The ceremony was beautiful and romantic. You had to admit that even if you hated it. Your cousin looked wonderful and as they both brought up their vows in a solemn way, you had to suppress a tear because it was sweet and lovely what they swore to each other. Just the point 'I will never love someone else next to you' from Matt caused you to roll with your eyes. It was pathetic.

Most of the time, Nyx tried to stay focused on the wedding but it wasn't easy. His brain was busy with different things. On the one hand, he searched for a way to keep you on distance but whenever he had an idea, Nyx asked himself 'why?'. Why should he stay away from you when you were interested in him? He was interested in you, too. You were attractive, sweet and nice but also hurt. The last thing Nyx wanted was to take advantage of your sore emotions or to be the reason to get hurt even more.

"Nyx?"

Your voice brought him back to reality and he realized that the church emptied slowly, "Sorry, I was thinking about something."

"Totally get it. This wedding was...I don't know. Maybe it was the sweetest thing I have ever seen or the most hypocritical. But no matter what it was, it's over now."

"Then, if I may?", Nyx asked and offered you his arm once again.

Smiling, you took his arm and walked down the aisle with Nyx to leave the church.

*

As you reached the festive decorated ballroom of the Caelum Via, Nyx wasn't surprised anymore. You had told him that your family and even Matt's had a lot of money and they loved to show it. But even if you were dressed in something expensive and even if you knew how to act properly amongst all the other high society people, Nyx noticed that it wasn't really your world. You had been forced into it by blood and family relations.

You introduced Nyx to everyone you met on your way to your table. And not for one second, Nyx felt misplaced by you. You even gave him the feeling as if you were proud to have him by your side.

"Holy six, we have made it.", you sighed as you slumped down on a seat of the table you were aiming for, "Once again, I have to thank you."

Nyx smiled softly, "But I've done nothing."

"You're here. You're by my side. And you're not running away after meeting my family. You keep me sane. I would say you do enough."

Nyx watched you but he was sure he was right with his assumption, "You don't have the best bond with your family, do you?"

You chuckled dryly, "No, not really. It's better now but...I haven't become a lawyer like everyone else, tho. I mean, even my mother had been a secretary in a law office. There, she met my dad, who’s a lawyer. Like my uncles."

"So, you're kinda the black sheep?", Nyx asked amused and saw himself as confirmed: this world was not yours.

"Oh, yeah. You have no idea. That I dated Matt had raised my prestige in their eyes but…", you stopped as Matt and your cousin entered the ballroom under loud cheering, "I have no idea what I was for him. Time distraction? Toy? I mean, we had fun and I feel so stupid for not seeing anything coming."

Nyx had no idea what he should say to comfort you. Maybe there was even no way to comfort you at all. Things like this needed time to heal. But somehow Nyx got the impression that you were stronger than you seemed to be right now.

You wanted to say something but your mother and dad joined your table and gone was the calmness you had felt during the last few moments.

"Darling, have you congratulated Matt and your cousin?", your mother said, placing one hand on your shoulder and one on Nyx'.

That touch looked more possessive than you liked to see, "Of course, I did.", you said with a charming smile.

"Wonderful! Wasn't the wedding a dream? And the vows! I really had to suppress a tear."

"Yes, mother, it was wonderful.", you agreed.

"And you, Nyx? Everything's-", but your mother got called over by your aunts and excused himself again. Even your dad excused himself again.

Nyx waited till she was out of earshot before he turned over to you, "You haven't congratulated them, have you?"

"Of course not.", you said with a huge grin that made Nyx chuckling. You liked the way he smiled. You already liked his presence. He was calm and quiet but knew how to tell his stories to entertain you.

Quickly, the dinner got served and was done and the last part of this circus started: the party. You knew you couldn't leave right away. Even if you wanted to run away as far as you could, it wouldn't look too good. So, you stayed until you would find a good moment to escape.

"Hey, you wanna get some fresh air?", Nyx asked as he saw how you were watching Matt dancing with his partner closely to a slow, romantic song.

Like awakening from a trance, you blinked with your eyes and nodded as you looked at Nyx and his warm, encouraging smile. As you stepped out, you breathed in the fresh breeze with closed eyes.

Once again, Nyx caught himself staring at you in a fascinated way. While you walked across the balcony to the handrail, Nyx followed you slowly and thanked Crowe silently that he had met you, "How do you feel? You're still okay?", he asked carefully.

You turned over to him, "Yes. Yes, I'm feeling good. As I watched them dance, I noticed the way Matt looked at my cousin. He never looked at me this way and I'm… I'm getting okay with it. If they're happy then I don't care. Maybe this wedding was the right cure."

Nyx was impressed how strong you really were. He was sure that you were still hurt but it looked as if you were on the right way.

"Can I ask you something?", you asked, gnawing on your lower lip.

"Of course. I'm at your service no matter what it is. So, what do you desire to know about me?", Nyx said solemnly and smirked as he heard you chuckling.

"I know Crowe can use the King's magic. So, I guess, all Glaives are able to do that?"

"Yes. That's why we're members of the Kingsglaive. Not everyone is able to use these powers so, just the 'best' or talented of the refugees get picked out.", Nyx explained.

You nodded slowly, "It's too bad that refugees get used to fighting battles to secure this city instead of the citizens who actually live here.", you said while letting your eyes roam over the skyline of Insomnia.

"I'm okay with that. I mean, Niflheim attacked my home, Magiteks killed my family. If I can fight against them, I know I do the right thing. Taking revenge. At least as good as I can.", Nyx said low and also watched the scene in front of him.

"I'm sorry for your loss. Crowe told me about it once. Nothing much, just a few things. Is… Is this also the reason why you try to keep people away from you? In fear you could lose them as well?", you asked carefully. Maybe you were too bold but you felt a connection to Nyx that gave you the courage to ask these things.

With a sad expression, Nyx nodded. He was surprised that you had figured him out this quickly but maybe he wasn't such a riddle or you were really attentive when it came to him, "Yeah... you're not so wrong. I know how it feels to lose loved ones so I don't wanna put someone else through this as well. And as a Glaive things can turn bad really quickly.", he said and watched your reaction.

"I guess you're right."

Nyx nodded and felt an unknown pain stinging his heart that you thought like this as well.

"But", you started again, looking straight into Nyx eyes, "I got to know you a little bit today. Trust me, I understand your point but as I said yesterday, the right person wouldn't see a problem with that. I mean… you shouldn't be alone Nyx. No one should. And if you think life is so short for you, you should stop being alone and start to make the best out of the time you still have.", you whispered.

Without noticing, Nyx had closed up on you forced by your words. Unknowingly, you had hit a point: he was alone...rather he was lonely. He felt lonely when he was done with the training and went back to his empty home. He felt lonely when he came back after an exhausting fight on the battlefield. When he felt lonely, the flashbacks and nightmares became worse and darker. These were the times where he wished to have someone by his side who would be there for him. Who would drag him out of the darkness because their light was so much brighter than every shadow would ever be. Bright like your glowing eyes and your charming smile.

Slowly, Nyx leant forward and raised his hand without thinking about it. He just wanted to feel your skin under his touch. Softly, he placed his hand on your cheek and saw your surprise but you stayed where you were as if you wanted him to continue. Driven by your alluring scent, he closed the gap slowly and-

SCREESH!!!

The cry of a bird that flew above your heads let both of you jump away from each other. You and Nyx were breathing heavily while you two recovered from the shock. You smoothed down your clothes to distract yourself while Nyx ran a hand through his hair to do the same.

The situation became awkward but Nyx wanted to show you that everything was alright. At the same time, he wanted to show himself that everything was still alright between you and him, "Hey...uhm… You wanna see some magic?", he asked softly, almost shy.

You smiled, thankfully that Nyx had sensed the awkward tension, "I would love to.", you said while still recovering from the surprise that Nyx wanted to kiss you. Not that you would have stopped him…

Nyx grinned and raised his right hand. He showed you the bare palm and in the next moment, sizzling flames were dancing over his skin as if they were following a rhythm no one could hear. Nyx checked your reaction and was pleased as he saw your sparkling eyes, illuminated by the flames, and the growing smile.

Fascinated, you watched the flames. You felt the urge to touch them but as you closed up on the flames with your forefinger, you already felt the warmth so, you retreated your hand again, "It's hot! I don't know why I'm surprised but… Don't they hurt you?", you asked concerned.

Nyx chuckled, "No, not at all. If you can use elementary magic, you're safe. It's just painful for your enemy.", he said with a grin and was happy to see you smile again.

"Can you just produce fire? Or is there more?", you asked excitedly, totally hooked about the fact how cool this skill was.

"Two more. Lightning", Nyx said and killed the flames by closing his hand before his fist got enveloped by small, twitching bolts that ran across his hand like busy worms. But they became a bit too fast and 'overexcited' and Nyx casted them away before something could get hit by them, "And then, there's ice.", he said and changed the bolts into a subtle fog.

You leant forward to look closer but even in the dim light from the candles and the light coming from the ballroom, you noticed small, sparkling ice particles which were swirling through the fog. Whenever light hit them, they were glittering in every possible color like a prism, "I- I… that's so beautiful. I mean, it sparkles like millions of diamonds."

Nyx chuckled, he never had seen the magic he used on a daily basis as what it actually was: magic. It was something not many people could control. It was indeed something special, usually just reserved for the royal family and yet, he was also able to produce ice and let your smile grow even bigger than before as you had seen the fire, “I don’t know but I guess to see the world through your eyes must be wonderful. You seem to be delighted by the smallest things.”, Nyx said low but smiled as you looked up with a now shy smile on your lips.

“Life is more than just money and prestige. We are surrounded by wonders barely someone sees anymore. I mean, for example in Lestallum, the city uses the energy of a meteor that lies there for centuries. You should see the magical view by night. The golden and blue light dancing into the sky. I swear you never had seen something like this before.”, you said excitedly and once again, you noticed how Nyx was staring at you. It wasn’t unpleasant. Rather quite the opposite. It was a silly thought but somehow you had the feeling that Nyx could see more in you than just a little flirt and a nice kiss at some wedding.

It was crazy. As Crowe told you Nyx would be your type of man, you had laughed about it. After everything Matt had done you needed a break from dates and men and love and all these things. You didn’t want to quit it forever just a little longer but obviously your friend saw it differently and silently, you already thanked her.

Once again, Nyx was mesmerized by you. The way you saw things. How you looked at the world. How you looked at him. He was sure you weren’t flawless - no one was. But no matter what kind of flaws you would have, he wouldn’t care about it. He would deal with everything as long as he could keep you in his life. Giving him the magic he had lost somewhere in his life. Maybe you could be friends or … maybe even something more.

Nyx killed the ice and once again, he leant in for another attempt to kiss you. The moment was perfect again. The way you looked into his eyes and how your lips slightly parted told him what he needed to know - you wanted the same. So, he stepped closer, cupping your face with both hands softly as if you were made out of glass and while you leant forward to meet him on the half way, Nyx leant forward to kiss you-

"Hey, YN, can we talk for a moment- Oh! I’m sorry. Did I interrupt something?", Matt asked and grinned amused as he saw you and Nyx jumping away from each other like caught teenagers.

You cursed internally because it was the second interrupted kiss and you had no idea how many times Nyx would try his luck considering the fact that he even was willing to go this step at all.

Nyx saw that you were annoyed. And he felt the same. He had noticed that you wanted the kiss as well so it was clear for him to try it again but maybe all the interruptions were just signs for him to let it slip? Maybe he shouldn’t try his luck because he was still the Glaive who could die during the next battle. He looked from you at Matt who closed up slowly no matter if his timing had been good or not. And suddenly, Nyx saw that the guy had done this on purpose. He saw it in Matt’s gleaming eyes and in his smirk that he was amused about the fact to humiliate you once again. But as you had said before, he was part of your family now and maybe Matt just wanted to apologize or something. So, Nyx did the only logical thing that came to his mind, "Is it okay for you? I will get something to drink for us then.", he asked carefully, watching your reaction.

You weren’t amused about the idea to be alone with Matt but you nodded. You understood that Nyx might need a break. You waited till Nyx was gone before you crossed your arms over your chest, “You wanted to talk?”

"Yeah, this guy… Tell me, what did you have to pay him so that he would accompany you to this wedding as your date? I’m sure he’s a stripper or something like this. Poor soul-", the loud slap into his face let Matt stop in his sentence. While holding his stinging cheek, he looked back at you, surprised that you were even able to have such a power.

With raging eyes, you stared at him, standing your ground in front of him for the first time. All the anger and sadness you had felt had laid in this one single slap and even if you were no fan of violence, you noticed how relieving this had felt. It had been long overdue, "Don't you ever dare to talk like that about him ever again. He's a Glaive! Protecting you and everyone else in this city with his life."

"Oh, interesting! So, he's just a refugee? He’s not from here? Fascinating with what kind of people you spent your time with. Your mother will be pleased to know that.", Matt said with a smirk, turning around to go back into the ballroom to find your mother.

You called Matt back and he stopped, looking expecting at you with one raised brow. You saw the surprise about your courage in his eyes but the thing was your strength was never gone you just had forgotten to use it. You just needed a trigger to get back to your old self and Matt had found this point without knowing it. So, you stepped forward, keeping eye contact until you stood right under Matt’s nose. With a low but serious voice and a lopsided smirk on your lips you said: "You know, it doesn't matter what he is or not. It doesn’t matter what you or anyone else will think. He’s a soldier and it’s honorable. It doesn’t matter where Nyx comes from. And besides, Galahd was a beautiful, magical and unique place before Niflheim decided to destroy this jewel. No matter what you will do or say to whomever, Nyx will always be more of a man than you will ever be in your entire life, you little, lying cheater.", you said and ended your little speech with a sweet grin as you saw Matt’s shocked and surprised expression.

As you watched satisfied how Matt disappeared back into the ballroom and into the world he belonged to, your eyes landed on Nyx who stood there in the door frame with two drinks in his hands and staring right at you with big eyes.

With a soft, warm smile you walked over to Nyx, taking one of the drinks from his hands, “So, you heard what I said, I guess?”

“Y-yeah, actually every single word.”, he whispered, still not believing what you had said about him, “You had defended me in front of him. I- I mean, I have no idea what he did so you would react like this but … it was impressive to watch and … flattering.”, Nyx said honestly.

You nodded before you gulped down the stiff drink in one go to calm your nerves, “You know, to talk back to this asshole was long overdue. And … as long as he was attacking me it was okay but you … You don’t deserve this. Never. From no one. And mostly not from one person in this room.”, you said and somehow Nyx’ eyes were sparkling even more. Emotions were staring back at you which seemed to be buried away for a very long time.

Nyx, who was still flashed by you, closed the small gap, cupped your face and leant down to kiss you and this time, it worked. As he felt your warm, soft lips, he couldn’t believe it. An emotionally lightning shot though his body and electrified him within seconds as if he had been dead before for years. Your lips tasted as sweet as he had imagined and that you moved along with him gave him goosebumps.

Your heart skipped a beat as Nyx kissed you. It was perfect. It was the only way you could describe this whole scene: as perfect. Nyx’ full lips were warm and demanding in a sensual way. He kissed you not to say something he couldn’t find words rather because he just wanted you. To pull him closer, you grabbed into his suit shirt and jacket what caused Nyx to chuckle about your eagerness but you didn’t care. Like a thirsty plant for water, you were thirsty to taste more of Nyx.

Slowly, the kiss increased as both of you opened your mouths to taste each other's tongues, exploring each other. Nyx still tasted the stiff alcohol on you and breathed in your breath while deepening the kiss. He moved his hand from your face down to your back to pull you closer-

“YN! That’s not appropriate behavior for a wedding!”, your mother called out.

Slowly, you left Nyx’ lips, not seeing any reason to hurry at all. With a stupid grin you looked into the most perfect blue eyes you had ever seen which were sparkling with so much fire and joy as if their light had been rekindled after a very long sleep.

Nyx matched your grin and was still holding you in his arm, snaked firmly around your waist, not ready to let you go just now. Gently, he nudged your nose with his own, “What do you want to do now, YN? Any plans?”, he asked.

“We will leave this place. Together. Come on, Glaive.”, you said, taking his hand in yours to leave the balcony. As you passed your mother, who stared at you in shock, you said: “Goodnight mother, we will leave. Usually, I would say ‘it was a nice evening’ but that would be a lie.”, you said and stepped forward before you stopped once again, “Oh, and I didn’t congratulate the bridal couple because, well, for reasons. But I’m sure they will be happy together. Something tells me they deserve each other.”, and with that said, you left the wedding with Nyx.

Your mother was calling after you but you ignored her. But if you would have turned around one last time, you would have seen how your dad was grinning and cheering for you because in his eyes, you had done the best move possible.

*

While the driver of the limousine drove the two of you back to your place, none of you said something. You were just cuddling. As Nyx had entered the car, you had scooted over to him immediately, leaning your head against his chest while he laid his arm around your shoulders. You had intertwined your fingers with his and with your thumb you drew small patterns on his skin while you were smiling stupidly.

Nyx followed his own thoughts while burying his nose into your hair to breathe in your scent. But none of his thoughts were dark anymore. Rather, he asked himself why he had withdrawn himself the whole time and thought he would do the right thing? The only one he was punishing was himself and with you, he realized that he had done it far too long. The first kiss had been enough to spark the dying flame of all his hopes and dreams again. But the flame wasn’t just some smoldering. It was a roaring fire that filled his chest with all the emotions he had sealed somewhere deep all these times before. Just one kiss with you had been able to break this firm seal.

There was no turning back and Nyx would fight like on the battlefield to let this fire burn till he would die…

Still cuddled to Nyx’ side, he brought you to your floor and to the apartment door. You were about to open the door which would mean the end of the night as you turned around, flinging your both arms around Nyx’ neck to kiss him longingly.

Nyx didn’t need to get asked twice. He pressed you against the door, letting his hands roam over the fabric of your clothes to get a first feeling of your curves while he noticed how your fingers found their way into his hair. You played with the longer strands, tracing down the braids and stopping at the beads you found. Alone this touch was enough to make Nyx hungry for more.

You were surprised how soft his greyish hair really was. The whole evening you had asked yourself how Nyx’ hair would feel between your fingers but reality was so much better than what you had thought. Unfortunately, your lungs demanded oxygen and so, just very reluctantly, you left Nyx’ lips. He rested his forehead against your and was as breathless as you were but he was also grinning. Still playing with his hair, you pushed yourself to ask the question you wanted to ask, “You… Would you like to come in?”, you asked hopefully that he would say yes. For you, the night was still not over.

Nyx leant back, looked into your eyes and chuckled before he smirked about your confusion, “Of course, I want to come in. My clothes are still in your apartment. Remember?”, he teased.

“Oh, right… your clothes.”, you said, grinning from ear to ear, “How inconvenient this coincidence is.”, you teased back.

“Just open the door and I’m sure your clothes will join mine pretty soon.”

***

Two months later…

You stood in your kitchen, preparing the morning coffee as you did every day. The rising morning sun was illuminating your apartment in a magical, golden light. It was this kind of light and the smell of the brewing hot liquid that made it easy for you to lose track of your thoughts. Just two strong arms around your middle brought you back to reality and conjured a lovestruck smile on your lips.

You turned around in the arms to face Nyx who was matching your smile even if it was a tired one. Even his hair was tousled and so, you smoothed down the long, stubborn strands before you pressed a gentle kiss on his lips, “Good morning, handsome.”, you whispered.

“Morning, babe. I missed you in bed. I wanted to cuddle.”, he said, pouting.

You chuckled softly, feeling sorry to disappoint him, “I know but I have this important call in an hour and have to do a few things before- hey! Let me down! Nyx!”, you shrieked, laughing by surprise. Nyx had grabbed you to throw you over his shoulder. With you hanging upside down, he carried you back to the bedroom. You bounced slightly as Nyx let you carefully down on the mattress, “Nyx, come on. I don’t have time.”, you chuckled while he was crawling on top of you, kissing along all the bare skin of yours he could find.

“You said one hour. That gives me still forty minutes to have some fun with you. And then, you will still have some time to prepare whatever you want.”, Nyx said between a bunch of hot kisses along your collarbone before he continued over your neck, your weak spot he had figured out really quick.

You sighed, obeying him and his lips as you always did when he was in this kind of mood. It were two months you dated Nyx and it was still thrilling like in the beginning, “But this call is important. It’s with my dad. You know, because of the contracts I need for the refugee foundation.”, you moaned while Nyx bit into your neck. It was already difficult for you to keep your thoughts straight.

Nyx leant back, looking at you with a smirk, “With your dad, huh? He will understand it if you need some extra time. Don’t forget that he likes me. A lot. So, stop trying to resist me. It’s not even working. Just obey me and my lips.”, he breathed, leaning down, “I know you want me.”, Nyx whispered and kissed you passionately that you melted underneath him. Like you always did.

*

And Nyx was right. You were delayed and you apologized a hundred times to your dad but as you mentioned Nyx, your dad was understanding and brushed it off with a smile and a bunch of questions about Nyx and how he would be doing. In fact, since the wedding two months ago, your whole life had taken a complete turn.

After the wedding, Nyx stayed the night. And the next night. And the night after that. Quickly, the two of you had developed a deep, loving and strong relationship and three weeks later, you followed your heart: you had asked Nyx to move in with you. You didn't need much persuasion because Nyx was looking forward to being able to spend more time with you.

Your mother had called you after the wedding, scolding you for your behavior and how you could dare to bring a refugee as a date. But quickly, you gave her a talk about how bigoted she was and that she had to be more open minded if she wanted to keep you in her life. Very slowly, she realized that you meant what you said and gave in. She needed a bit more time but after a while she started to like Nyx, too.

It was helpful that your dad liked Nyx from the start. After the wedding, your dad had called you to congratulate you for your impressive act in front of your mother before you had left. In fact, he also had heard your little speech you had given Matt as you had defended Nyx and was proud about this as well. You had been speechless because til this day, you never had thought your dad would be proud about anything you ever did. And because the ice was broken between you and him, you talked about everything.

So, three weeks after the wedding, as you, Nyx, Pelna, Libertus and Crowe sat at Yamachang’s, you came up with an idea. You loved spending time with Nyx, Crowe and the others. You loved being in the underground of Insomnia where the refugees were living. You loved the different foods and the music, the atmosphere was unique and exotic but the circumstances the refugees had to live in were questionable. So, you had the idea to do something against it. You were already a big fan of the different cultures and you were convinced Insomnia would benefit as a city if it would use this unknown knowledge.

And with the help and support of your dad, who was hooked by your idea immediately, you started and planned a foundation to help the refugees. The infrastructure of the underground had to be changed and some things had to get modernised while the heart and the soul of everything had to be preserved.

You never congratulated Matt on his wedding and if he was at family meetings, you just refused to come as well. Your mother was raging. Your dad had your back with the most creative excuses. But now and then, when you were awake at night, and while you were watching Nyx sleeping next to you peacefully, you thanked Matt for cheating on you. Otherwise, you would never have found this treasure of a man who had turned your world upside down.

You never thanked Crowe for setting you up with Nyx and you didn’t have to because you knew she was already proud of her matchmaking skills. To see two of her best friends finding happiness and love in each other was enough regard for her.

Because in the end, she had done nothing more than finding a fake date for you, a friend in need…

[pvrrhadve]

i've literally just spent this whole summer realizing how fricked up i am and that there's actual trauma in there subtly accumulated over years and years and the extent to which said trauma and an increasingly frail and hollow relationship with my parents has affected me

[thebonggirll]

chapter one

< previous: about

It happened too fast, and she didn't register it all yet.

She was running alongside with her friend Alex, who wasn't who she thought he was. Was there any sign? Wait no, scratch that. There were too many signs but she chose to believe there wasn't. I mean, no one could blame her for it right? She was considered a trouble maker for as long as she remembers. Changing schools too often. The signs were all there.

Y/N Y/L/N is a fourteen year old girl leading a normal life. Well, if you call having to change multiple schools for causing accidents and then getting expelled normal. But it was the longest she spent on this current school, almost a full year. Only two months until the final exams and she would complete a whole year. She was sure to stay alone with her only friend, Alex and away from everyone.

She was returning home to her family, who never seemed to be mad at her despite causing so much trouble. Her step-father, worked in a bank, and you would think this is enough to afford a good place but nope. Her home was in a dingy, crowded and closed area - where every person worked hard everyday, streets were busy, houses were unrepaired with broken water pipes and trash everywhere that caused a stench. But she didn't have complaints about it. Her neighbours were nosy, but nice people. And her parents were already losing a lot of money on her for changing schools so frequently. She was happy and felt blessed to have a home where she could be herself.

Because her experience in school was awful. Getting humiliated and laughed at in front of the whole class was kind of a daily routine to her. But she was glad for not being bullied as bad as the other students. And the reason was because of her voice. Y/N was always the lead singer. She wasn't exactly trained to be a singer, but when she started singing, it captured everyone's attention. It was a good publicity stunt for the school's image too, since she was dyslexic with ADHD. So they had no complaints, except for those in the team.

But let's get back to her current situation. It happened when she was returning home from her school and she felt someone was following her. Her home might've been in a crowded place but in order to reach there, she had to pass through a dark road. Soon she started walking faster and then running, and the footsteps behind her sounded inhumane, too loud and like a huge person was following her. She looked back to observe his face and slammed onto someone.

"What the heck are you doing here!" Alex asked pulling her along and running, "I've been calling you for hours!"

"I had music class, um, so I was late and my battery ran out!" Y/N said, "THIS IS MY WAY HOME, I SHOULD BE ASKING YOU THAT?!"

"There isn't much time to explain," he said and looked behind, "don't freak out okay? J-just follow me."

"I'm glad you're here but this isn't my way home Alex! Where are you taking me?!"

"I told you not to freak out!" he said and turned right to the main road. He looked around as if he was searching for someone when Y/N's father pulled up with a cab.

"Get in!" he said.

"Dad?"

"Just get in!" he said and both of them entered the cab, which sped up.

"What is happening? Is mom okay?"

"Ugh, I'm taking off these. It's hard to run with this man," Alex said and pulled off...

his leg?

"Wha-" Y/N started freaking out looking at his friend's legs, which were now replaced with cloven hooves and-

BONK!

Alex hit her with his fake leg and she finally passed out.

When Y/N woke up, unfortunately with a bump on her forehead, she was still in the cab, parked on a hill. Before she started freaking out again her father rested his hand on her shoulder and tried to calm her down saying, "Look, we don't have much time to explain but there's somewhere you need to go right now. There's a camp on the top of the hill there. You need to stay there, okay? Trust me."

"Why? What-"

"Listen to me...it might sound bizarre because it did sound like it when I heard it too but...your father didn't leave you and your mother behind. It was necessary because he was a..." He glanced momentarily behind her, looking at Alex and then cleared his throat saying, "god. Like an actual god."

Y/N looked at her father like he lost his mind and this was some kind of a sick joke that he was playing but her father continued, "I know it's hard to register but all those bizarre things that you saw..were all true. Your mother is in the hospital right now getting patched up. We didn't exactly have much time and I needed to hurry-"

"You left her in the hospital?! Why-"

"These monsters are after you Y/N. It was the only thing I knew what would stop the monsters from...from ruining everything."

"What do you mean?"

"The whole neighbourhood suddenly got wrecked, how we don't have idea but it happened too fast. Most of the people think it was some kind of earthquake that ruined all of their homes but that wasn't it. Your mother called you but your phone was off."

"How is she! Is she-"

"She's fine...just a broken arm. But there are a lot of others who were injured worse. We don't even have a count of how many lost their lives."

"So...if I stay away...you will be..safe?"

"Y/N we need you to stay away for your own safety. They were here to kill you."

She looked at the empty driver's seat and then at her friend.

"Take your time-" her father said but was quickly interrupted by Alex and said, "No, they'll be here soon. We need to go. The driver is kind enough to give us some space."

"Well I kind of hired him to get to office everyday. So he listens to me if I have a request." Y/N looked at her friend's feet and was about to touch his leg when he bleated and said, "Don't touch."

She looked up at his face, and noticed the horns. "Wait, what are you?"

"I'm a satyr, uh, half human and half goat?"

"Is that why you tripped all the time? Because of-"

"We should go. I'll explain it on the way."

They got out of the cab and looked at the driver, who was smoking far away from the cab. She turned to her father, half of her still didn't believe what he said but he wouldn't lie about her mom like that. It must be something urgent. He hugged Y/N and kissed her forehead.

"Please stay safe. I need to go now."

"Yeah, I'll call you. Uh..take care of mom," Y/N said.

"Nope, you can't call," Alex informed, "Don't worry there's another way."

She watched her father wave her goodbye as he left with his cab. She started walking towards the camp and stared at her friend's legs.

"Stop staring," Alex said and jumped, "See? It's real. And...sorry about hitting you back there."

"Uh..yeah it just happened so fast. I'm still processing it. You mean to tell me...all these things about god is...real? Who's my father?"

"Greek god to be specific but oh well," Alex patted her back and said, "I'll answer your every question in the camp. Let's rest a bit first. We did just run away from a monster."

"Well then atleast tell me who's my father."

"I have a hunch but...I'm not the one who should answer it."

next: chapter two >

book one: the lightning thief

percy jackson x reader series

MASTERLIST

[that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick]

Rating: G

Word Count: 1.6k

Fake dating, love at first sight, and all that. The basic fluff palate.

A/N: I had no idea what the lyrics to "Hello Stranger" by Stray Kids were until after I wrote the fic, but the title and vibe made me daydream this whole idea up in the car. You're welcome. (Totally would recommend the official MV too, it just doesn't have English subs)

Another day, another heckling. And this time it had to be on a public subway, apparently.

"All I'm saying is, if you're so rich, why do you have to conveniently forget your credit card every single time we all go out for lunch?" Edward narrowed his eyes at Ling.

"Why bring it when I don't expect to be going out to eat?" Ling said airily. "And you're always so generous when it happens unexpectedly."

Edward grunted. "That's an absolute load of bull and you know it. You can't say that you 'just forgot' to bring money because you 'didn't expect it' when I text the group chat 'Who wants to go out for lunch tomorrow?' and you say 'Ooh! Ooh! Me!'" he squealed in a poor imitation of his friend.

"Your girlfriend would love you for it, you know—paying for dates," Ling continued, ignoring Ed's accusations. He gasped. "Oh, that's right! You don't have a girlfriend! Perhaps if you weren't so quarrelsome, you could manage to win the heart of a lady."

"Who are you calling so puny that he's gonna die alone and have weeds all over his grave that no one will bother to pull?" Ed screeched.

Russell finally spoke up from his seat at the end of the row. "Ed, he didn't say anything about your height. He may be a cheapskate, but he didn't make a dig at your height. For once."

"Yeah, that's right! No fair changing the subject, Ling. This discussion was about how you're a little rich boy who always makes his friends pay for his own food," Ed huffed.

"Why quibble over such a minor expense? How expensive could a burger be? Twenty dollars?" The other two boys gaped at Ling, but he only kept going. "Besides, I'm far more interested in the current topic. Edward, you know I care for you deeply—"

"Fat chance."

"—but with your disposition, I doubt you could get a girlfriend if you tried!"

"Now, you wait just a second! You don't know squat about my love life! In fact, I could—"

Out of nowhere, a blonde girl knelt on the seat next to Ed's and slipped an arm around his shoulders.

"Hello, stranger." She winked. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming this way today? I know you're shy about our relationship, but you could have just told them, you know. You don't have to give into their teasing just for me, Eddie-boo."

All three boys gawked at her—Russell and Ling because of the fact that Ed actually had a girlfriend and Ed because of the fact that he didn't. Except now he had to pretend that this strange, hot blonde girl was his girlfriend.

So he choked. Then he recovered just enough to say, "Babe, no. I was just about to tell them. These pea-brains," he glared at them, "barely let me get a word in edgewise. Please believe me, babe."

"Of course I believe you, pretty boy." Her gaze made all coherent thoughts fly from his head. "But even if they are pea-brains, I should probably introduce myself." She tapped his nose. The buzzing feeling lingered long after the tip of her finger left it. "I'm Winry." She beamed at the other two boys. Ed's stomach twisted. He wasn't jealous, was he? He probably just ate something bad at lunch. Maybe Ling slipped something in his burger…

Ling grinned wickedly. "Lovely to meet you, Winry. How did you two meet? It must have been quite a job getting this one to agree to go out with you, what with his charming personality and all."

"Hm, how did we meet, babe? It all happened very gradually—knowing each other's faces, then knowing each other's names, then small talk here and there. Then before you know it, we were having deeper conversations as close friends, and then suddenly, we were dating! He's a real softie once you get him to open up," she said, ruffling his bangs.

"Winry!" He cleared his throat. "Babe, you don't have to tell them everything."

"Oh, man!" Russell guffawed, wiping away a tear. "This girl must have you whipped, Ed."

"Something like that," Ed muttered.

Suddenly, the train lurched and threw Winry forward, her arm around Ed's shoulders directing her course straight for his lap. They stared at each other in panic for a few moments. Then Winry laughed nervously. "Looks like I fell for you, huh, babe?"

Edward slapped his forehead. "Really? Fell for me? That's so terrible, I might break up with you just for that."

"Nah, you like me too much," Winry said, planting a kiss on his forehead.

Edward's face turned a violent shade of red. Pretty girl. Flirting. At him. Dream. It was a dream. Dreams don't have lips with that much detail. Can't look at friends. They'll laugh. Different topic. Periodic table. Periodic tables are simple. Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium…

"Like I said," Russell smirked. "Whipped."

The subway car lurched again as the intercom announced their arrival at the stop, and Ed's arms flew to keep Winry from being thrown again. Just as quickly as he had held her close, he loosened his grip. For a moment, her eyes widened and a faint blush rose on her cheeks. She shifted on his lap.

"This is my stop. Nice meeting you guys!" Winry leaned in to whisper into Ed's ear. "I probably caused you more trouble than I solved. I'm so sorry." She offered him a half smile and slid off his lap.

His legs somehow felt bare without her weight, his arms cold without her warmth. How could he just let her walk away? But how could he just stalk a stranger? Fortunately, all intelligent thought had left him long ago.

"See you guys later! Better priorities have come up than messing around with you losers!"

Edward heard silence, then laughter behind him, but he kept his eyes forward as he followed Winry out into the station. Crap, what had he gotten himself into? He was such an idiot. His idiot mouth and his idiot legs had been faster than his idiot brain and he was about to be in big, big trouble with this really beautiful, really nice stranger. The doors closed behind them.

"Look, I'm really, really sorry. I don't know what got into me. I don't know why I went along with it. I don't just do this sort of thing, it just happened. If there's—" Winry cut Ed off.

"You went along with it because I started it. What were you supposed to do? If anything, it's my fault for putting you in an awkward position. It was gutsy and presumptuous and I should have just let your conversation happen. I don't exactly go around pretending to be random people's girlfriends either. Some weird gut reaction in me just...did it. I...I don't even know what to say for myself. I made you lie to your friends and now you're going to have to tell them that and...I'm. I'm so sorry." She raked her hand into her ponytail and avoided his gaze.

"Can we consider ourselves forgiven, then?"

She met his eyes with a slight laugh. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Good, so...um…are you actually single?" He sighed and mumbled, "man, I don't normally do this," and continued, "Because I'd love to take you out for real if you are." His pulse thundered through every blood vessel in his body while she opened and closed her mouth and blushed. It would be cute if his entire being wasn't vibrating waiting for her response.

"Y–yeah," she breathed.

"Gah," Ed rubbed the back of his neck. "Of course you're not single, why would you be? I mean, look at you—"

"No! No. I'm. I'm not single. I mean! I'm not in a—I don't have a boyfriend."

"Oh."

"I'd...I'd love to go out with you, Edward."

"Wow," he finally managed.

"What?" Winry smiled at him in confusion.

"I really scored big today and I don't even know how." He grinned crookedly. "Was something about my complete lack of competent speech attractive or something? Nobody just agrees to going on a date with a complete stranger. Your name is actually Winry, right?"

She laughed. "Yes, my name is actually Winry. I didn't really have a lot of time to come up with a fake name or anything. As for going out with a complete stranger… I don't know. I just know I can trust you. I figure, why not go for it? And, um. I wasn't entirely joking when I called you 'pretty boy.'" She bit her lip and smiled at her shoes.

Ed's mind blanked for what seemed the billionth time that day. "You're the—you're the pretty one!" he squawked.

"Well, then...if I'm the pretty one, can I be the one to ask you for your number?"

"What?" He wasn't sure whether he'd been shaken out of his mental fog or pushed further into it. "I mean, yes! Um, here it is." He fumbled with his phone and showed her his contact information.

"Thanks." She smiled with all the light the universe could give her. "I'll...see you soon then?"

"Are you busy right now?" Ed blurted out. "Or is taking you out to dinner too soon?"

"Oh! No, not at all. I'm kind of craving Chinese takeout, actually, if that's okay."

"Yeah. Yeah, it's totally okay. Just. One thing." Winry raised her eyebrows in accession. "Never call me 'Eddie-boo' again."

[go-dark-turtle]

(Here it is Chapter 2 of Hamon Daze. If you haven't read chapter 1 I suggest giving it a quick read before this one. You can find it here

Just like the first chapter there is a saucy n spicy warning if you wish not to read further. Also @thisbloghasnoaesthetic has been a HUGE inspiration for me to continue this saga. Now let's continue~ onwards to Caesar's revenge. 😎)

Hamon Daze

Chapter 2: Caesar's Revenge

(A Caesar x female reader fanfiction Saucy n Spicy edition)

The next morning Caesar stirred awake and rubbed his eyes, a fake set of eyelashes fell onto his bedsheets and he picked them up to exam them.

"What the hell is this?" He pondered to himself confused.

He looked over to his table and noticed his beloved vase was gone, did JoJo steal it again? He sighed with annoyance and headed to his small en-suite bathroom. He softly yawned as he opened the door and looked up at the mirror.

"MUMMA MIA! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP ON MY FACE!" Caesar screamed as he looked at himself in the mirror. His lips were bright pink, purple on his eyelids and red rosy cheeks.

He was furious, he knew JoJo was behind this. He grabbed his washcloth and a towel and scrubbed everything off except for his red rosy cheeks. He gritted his teeth trying to get rid of the redness in his cheeks but he sighed in defeat, he was starting to get hungry.

***Meanwhile across the hallway***

You and Joseph were in Joseph's bed giggling hearing Caesar's reaction to your prank.

"If only we could see his face" You giggled.

"Heh, the best part is he has to eat breakfast with a pretty face ohhhh!" Joseph made a kissy face mocking Caesar.

You both giggled and cuddled but it all came to a halt when you both heard Caesar open his bedroom door.

"JOJO! Are you awake? Get your arse down stairs for breakfast!" Caesar called heading straight to Joseph's bedroom door.

Joseph scrambled out of bed with you, he pushed you into his wardrobe and slammed the door. Caesar slowly turned the doorknob, the door clicked open and Joseph's eyes widened.

"CAESAR I'M AWAKE! DON'T COME IN! I'M NAKED!" He panicked at the italian about to see him in the nude.

"UGH! I didn't need to imagine that first thing in the morning... just hurry up and get down there" Caesar screwed up his face and let go of the door knob and walked down the spiral staircase to the kitchen.

"Sorry about that Y/N" Joseph opened the wardrobe door and you sat up in a daze.

"It's okay JoJo. I'd rather hide than face Caesar right now oh man he sounded pretty annoyed, but oh my god he sounded repulsed at the idea of seeing you naked." You giggled

"Glad you aren't repulsed seeing me naked Y/N. Ah we shouldn't keep the others waiting... though after lunch time we could always meet up" He winked, you immediately went bright red.

*** Meanwhile in the kitchen***

Suzie and Lisa Lisa were at the table having a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice. Caesar walked in and grinned at Suzie and took her hand in his.

"Mamma mia. You look so bellissima this morning, Suzie." Caesar kissed her hand and sat down next to her. "I didn't get a chance to ask you yesterday. How was your trip to town with Y/N?"

Suzie giggled "Grazie Caesar, well we got everything including a lovely blue dress for Lisa Lisa. Ah we even stopped for some lunch and that's when she told me something about you... ohhh.. umm.."

She clasped her hands over her mouth, Caesar looked at her with his emerald eyes and gently pulled them away. "What did she say tesoro?"

Suzie blushed she couldn't resist his gaze "Well she admitted you were attractive...."

"Oh? Maybe that explains her attitude last night..." Caesar whispered to her.

Lisa Lisa watched them both rolling her eyes and sipped her orange juice. Just then both you and Joseph scrambled into the kitchen giggling and nearly knocking over the other chairs in the room.

"JoJo! Y/N! You are both late care to explain yourselves?" Lisa Lisa folded her arms

"Sorry Lisa Lisa. Because of Caesar making me run laps around Fight island... I woke up late this morning..." You turned your head away from him trying to keep a straight face, one because of his red rosy cheeks and two you started to see how handsome he was.

"Yeah Caesar's snoring echoed into my room and also made me wake up late..." Joseph shrugged and winked at Caesar “Oh someone is a little blushy this morning"

Caesar huffed and shrugged "Well aren't you obsvert this morning!" He looked at you and noticed your shirt missing two buttons. "Say Y/N why aren't you wearing your pjs? Did you fall asleep in your clothes?"

You clench your fists and looked down your face went bright red from what actually happened "Well uhhh."

Caesar knew something was up and he wanted to find out what was going on. "Perhaps you can tell me later.. JoJo hurry up we have training with Messina and Loggins. Don't forget Y/N you are training with Lisa Lisa this morning."

You sighed with relief "Oh good.. " You giggled nervously "Ah I mean um.. right thank you for the heads up..."

*** After Breakfast ***

Caesar returned to his room to get ready, he opened his wardrobe and noticed his jackets and his tank tops were lying in the bottom of the wardrobe. He was confused why they would be lying there. As he picked them up and placed them on his bed to smooth them out he noticed a button. He picked it up and realised it belonged to you. He knew JoJo was behind the whole make up prank but did you also join him?

He smirked "Bingo! I finally have evidence..."

He grew more curious, he had a feeling you didn't return to your room last night. He sneaked into JoJo's room while he was in his shower singing very loudly. Caesar's gut feeling paid off, another button he pocketed from the floor. He quietly left and returned to his room to get ready for morning practice.

***During morning practice***

You followed Lisa Lisa to the docks for a light work out with her but, an intense training session awaited Caesar and Joseph over on Fight island. The boys focused their fingertips on the spikes in the centre and held their whole body weight with their hamon, while the tall trainers ran laps around Fight island keeping an eye of the boys from all angles.

"By the way JoJo" Caesar whispered to Joseph "I know you put that ridiculous crap on my face..."

"Heh. So you figured me out.. But you can't prove it to Messina or Loggins without proof." Joseph whispered back with a smirk.

"Oh? Well perhaps your partner in crime will definitely tell me everything." Caesar smirked and pulled out the buttons from his pocket giving them a quick flash to JoJo.

"Huh? what do you mean my partner.... wait they are from Y/N's shirt! Where did you find them?" Joseph started to sweat a little.

Caesar finally caught him and put them back in his pocket "Well I went to check on you earlier, I opened your door and found one of them on the floor. The other in my wardrobe."

Joseph started to wobble and his breathing nearly went out of sync, he knew he couldn't get out of this one.

"JoJo concentrate more!" Messina shouted at him

"Sorry..." Joseph called his trainer and closed his eyes and tried to focus again. He grunted and whispered to the italian glaring at him "What do you want Caesar..."

"Nothing. I just needed you to confirm everything for me.. Oh, and have fun running around fight island" Caesar smirked and nudged him off balance

"Wha.." Joseph tried to question him before he was knocked off balance and he nearly landed in the spikes.

The tall trainers stopped in their tracks and pulled Joseph out the pit they pointed and scolded him for not paying attention and told him to run 50 laps around fight island. Caesar smirked and launched himself into the air and bowed at his trainers before heading back inside.

***An Hour later in the kitchen for lunch***

Morning practice had wiped you out, you rested your head on the table not wanting to move a muscle, Lisa Lisa went over the basics twice.

"Ah Y/N was training with madam Lisa Lisa really that tiring?" Suzie poked your shoulder

"Leave her be Suzie. I'll allow her to rest for now but I'm sure Caesar will get her back on track after lunch" Lisa Lisa sipped her coffee and looked at the door seeing Caesar walk in.

Your eyes widened at the thought of intense training with Caesar, his training was difficult enough. Now you didn't want to face him knowing he would pick up your guilty energy.

"Buon pomeriggio ladies, how was your morning ?" He smiled at Lisa Lisa his voice was so soft it made your cheeks flare up. Did he always sound like this?

"Well Y/N seems to be distracted, Caesar I'll need you to go over the basics again." Lisa Lisa huffed and wasn't impressed by your mornings poor efforts.

"Huh? Funny thing JoJo was the same." He pretended to be surprised. He knew you two were up to no good the night before.

"Oh JoJo is lacking too! Oh my, do you think they have a cold or something?" Suzie was concerned. Caesar giggled at the ridiculous idea.

You looked up to see Caesar's smirk, your cheeks flared up and hid your face in your hands. He squatted next to you and patted your head. "Rest up lil Y/N because later we will go over everything.... again" He looked at Lisa Lisa "Um Madam Lisa Lisa, is the bath house free this afternoon?"

"Yes it's free, Messina and Loggins are having the afternoon off. I'm with JoJo after lunch. Did you have something in mind?" Lisa Lisa was curious.

"Just thought a reminder of the basics might be helpful in there." Caesar nodded, you groaned in frustration, you already went over them TWICE and now a third time with Caesar this was going to be hell.

She nodded "Very well and perhaps a clean up might also help Y/N get her mind to focus." She took a bite out of her sandwich. You were more nervous than on your first day. Caesar bowed to his teacher and looked back down to you.

"Oh and in case you wondered where JoJo is Y/N." He took your hand away from your face and gently guided you to the window. He noticed your blush and how nervous you were around him compared to the night before.

You blushed more feeling his large leather glove touch your hand and his fingertips gently gripping your smaller hand. You saw Joseph run laps around fight island, he was already exhausted but he kept going, whining to his trainers. You swallowed hard, you felt this was all Caesar's doing and you were next.

*** 20 minutes later***

You nervously followed behind Caesar heading to the bath house on the right side of the island. You had no idea what he had in store but you knew it was going to be exhausting, with Caesar boasting for sure. You carried a bucket, mop and a few cleaning supplies trying to keep with Caesar.

"Come on lil Y/N we are almost there." Caesar smirked while waiting on you with his hands on hips.

"Caesar please, I can't carry this all by myself." You whined as you caught up trying your best not to look at his beautiful green eyes.

"Well if you paid attention to this morning's practice you wouldn't be in this mess now would you?" Caesar folded his arms and raised his eyebrow.

You sighed in defeat, he smirked again and opened the door to the bath house and held the door to the first room. Inside was a giant shared bath by the balcony and showers on the right of the room with benches either side and lockers on the left with a sink behind the door.

"Okay Y/N set everything on that bench over there and stand up straight" Caesar slammed the door shut and glared at you.

You gulped and nervously set everything down and stood in the middle of the room. You looked down, you knew you were in deep trouble. Caesar walked behind you and placed his hands on your shoulders. You looked ahead, your eyes widen, feeling his hands on your shoulders. You had never seen this side of Caesar before, even though you were nervous your mind raced with the idea of kissing him.

"You are in for a treat let me tell you." He leaned in closer and whispered. Your thought bubble was popped by his comment, especially with the tone of his voice, your eyes widened, you swallowed hard and your hands began to shake releasing the reality of what's going on. He smirked more knowing his comment made you sweat, he licked his lips.

"I know you helped JoJo with his little prank, I'm not very impressed you messed up my beautiful face." He reached into his pocket and held your hands open and placed your buttons in your hand "Don't leave evidence behind next time."

You looked down at them, your whole body was shaking, you were caught out, you spun around and clasped your hands and dropped to your knees, dropping the buttons and closing your eyes shut. "I'm so sorry Caesar, please dont tell Lisa Lisa!"

Caesar barked at you while grabbing the bucket and held it out. "We'll see about that, on your feet now! Hands behind your back!" Your eyes sprung open, his voice was so cold and commanding.

You nodded and did as he said, he walked behind you and placed the bucket in your hands. You looked down not daring to look back, you knew this wasn't going to be pleasant.

"I'm disappointed in you Y/N, I thought you were the type to behave. Tsk, tsk, I guess that's what happens when you get involved with JoJo." Caesar waggled his finger. "It's such a shame I have to punish you like this Y/N, you are so pretty, but you know this brings back memories of when I didn't behave."

You looked up and loved hearing he thought you were pretty, you shook your head trying to stay focused by trying to get on his good side "You misbehaved one time?! That isn't like you Caesar."

"Don't be cute with me Y/N, well it was 3 years ago when I first arrived on the island...." Caesar pointed at you and thought back to his early training days.

***Three years ago***

Caesar was summoned to the Island to meet Lisa Lisa upon meeting her he held her hand and kissed it "My, my, you are sbalorditiva. It's such an honour to train under your beauty" Caesar winked at her.

"My training is very strict, I expect nothing but the best." Lisa Lisa pulled her hand away trying to keep her cool from his flirting.

"Hm, well you are looking right at him, say why not we skip the training and get right into the good part and perhaps we can kiss with a moonlight diner later." Caesar flashed his smile at her. "You can come too, Suzie I wouldn't want to leave you out."

Suzie blushed at his actions but Lisa Lisa wasn't impressed. She folded her arms "You lack respect, I'll knock that out of you before we continue..."

"Oh I bet you will." Caesar smirked "Oh my Lisa Lisa aren't we jumping into this far too quickly? We haven't even kissed yet." He raised his eyebrows, with his mind thinking unspeakable things.

Lisa Lisa huffed. "Just come with me!"

He followed her to the bath house and instructed him to hold the bucket behind his back, at first he smirked thinking it was easy but within a few minutes she brought over hamon fused water and slowly filling up the bucket, his body started to shake and his arms were like jelly.

"Please Lisa Lisa I'm sorry, please let me have a break my arms are going to fall off. I'm sorry I was disrespectful towards you please forgive me." Caesar pleaded almost in tears.

"From now on you will respect my training methods and respect me as your teacher, not some girl in the streets. Do you understand?" Lisa Lisa stopped bringing over more water and watched him quiver.

"I promise! I'm so sorry madam Lisa Lisa, I will promise to respect you from here on in!" Caesar cried out his hands shaking

"Good, you may let go of the bucket" Lisa Lisa smirked.

Caesar released the bucket and dropped to his knees not caring his legs got wet from the water spilling everywhere. "From now on I'll take your training seriously."

***End of Flashback***

Your eyes widened. He was going to give you the same treatment you opened your mouth but he placed his finger over it. You blushed at how close he was. The scent coming from his tank top, a combination of white flowers, rose, lily of the valley and sandalwood. He smelt so nice and very comforting. The bubble of comfort from his scent popped as he pulled away from you.

"Hush now lil Y/N, it's time for you to receive your punishment and unlike what happened to me, you know how to use hamon, so I need you to hold that bucket but keep the water in place do you understand?" Caesar walked over to the sink and grinned

You nodded and held the bucket tightly he brought over a handful and dropped it into the bucket, at first you had no problems but as he got to the 5th handful that's when you felt the tension in your arms. Caesar knew exactly how you felt and went for a 6th handful.

Loggins had finished with his lunch. He made a quick detour through the bath house hallway to get to the docks to enjoy his well deserved afternoon off and that's when he heard you and Caesar talking. He stopped by the door and listened in.

"Please Caesar my arms hurt, please let me take a break!" You cried out to him

"Quit whining I'm not done yet, just endure it a little more." Caesar barked back

"I'm already at my limit Caesar please, I can't hold it anymore!" You whined more.

Loggins clasped his hands over his mouth "Good heavens what on earth are they doing in there" He couldn't stop listening as if it was like a trainwreck, he pressed his ear against the door and listened more.

"Y/N, I'll be nice and let you lean against the bench but keep those hands where they are." Caesar sighed.

You knelt on the floor and your chest leaning onto the bench it felt a little better, but your arms still ached. Caesar walked in front of you and raised his eyebrows, while giving you a disappointed look.

"I said you can lean, not kneel, now get that cute butt of yours in the air" Caesar loved that he was in control heading to the sink once more.

"Sorry Caesar" You blushed and sighed. You raised your legs and buttocks, the bucket was almost at max capacity leaning your chest still on the bench. You gripped with all your might and charged hamon through the bucket keeping everything in place.

"Perfect, now let's add some more shall we, I'll be nice with just my pinky finger, instead of my hand." He smirked as he walked over with a glob of water encased around his pinky finger.

"No Caesar, please I can't handle anymore, anything but that!" You pleaded out in a panicked cry

Caesar didn't appreciate you answering him back, he clapped his hands in front of you making the water explode over your face you shivered on the spot. Loggins couldn't handle listening anymore and he scurried out of the hallway and headed straight to the docks horrified.

You looked up to Caesar your arms felt like they were about to break, you clenched your eyes shut and screamed "Please, I'm sorry I followed JoJo in his prank, I'm sorry I didn't go back to my room, I'm sorry, please Caesar, let me drop the bucket, I'll do anything!"

"Anything you say?" Caesar leaned in close the smell of his scent felt comforting again, you opened your eyes seeing his emerald eyes shine. "Well perhaps that kiss I wanted from you last night might be enough to let me stop this punishment and of course keep hush hush."

You bit your lip, no way out of this one, you sighed and closed your eyes but slowly loved the idea of Caesar kissing you, but stood your ground. "Fine, but just one kiss."

"That won't be a problem, one is all I need." Caesar finally had what he wanted.

He knocked the bucket out of your hands and spilled the contents everywhere. You sighed with relief but before you could shake your arms from the aching pains, Caesar scooped his hand under your back and you fell backwards into his arms. You flinched thinking you were about to fall but you looked up and saw his bright emerald eyes lock onto yours. You blushed hard in his arms looking up at him he looked so handsome and you couldn't help but stare at his face.

"You'll fall for me guaranteed." He smirked with an evil glint in his eye. "You can't resist me"

Before you had a chance to say anything his lips crashed into yours he held you close at first you were shaking but soon enough you held onto his shoulders, closing your eyes all while enjoying his powerful kiss. He knew you couldn't resist his soft lips. He held you close and deepened the kiss, you gasped at how amazing he was at kissing.

He pulled away from the kiss you were in a complete daze, your face bright red, he smirked and looked down at you " Hmm, I'm glad a little birdie told me that you thought I was attractive."

"Well about that ..." You went super quiet and turned your face away from him.

"It's okay Y/N I understand, so if you like shall we continue?" He nodded and cupped your chin.

You couldn't resist as if he put you under a spell. You nodded a thousand times and looked to his face, you wanted him so badly you couldn't wait anymore and he knew it. The kiss unlocked everything.

(SAUCY N SPICY WARNING)

"Relax for me my darling" Caesar sat on one of the benches and had you sitting on his lap both facing him, your arms wrapped around his shoulders. Both of you had discarded your tank tops and they landed on the other side of the room. He gently pressed his palms, while wearing his leather gloves, against your nipples, you blushed and gasped at the feel and how cold they were.

"Sorry Caesar, it's just your gloves are so cold.." You looked up at him softly gasping.

"Oh then perhaps I should try something else out instead." He smiled with an evil glint.

He brought his hands together and clapped them and then formed two large bubbles. He caught them with his hamon and smirked, he pressed them against your nipples, the hamon energy clamped onto your skin and no matter how much you squirmed you couldn't release their tight grip.

"That's your punishment for.... last night." He whispered in your ear and nipped your neck

You jolted back in pain and pleasure, almost falling off Caesar's lap. You tried to pop the bubbles with your own hamon, Caesar gripped your hands and held them in place with one of his hands while slowly pulling off his headband.

"So naughty Y/N, so now you need more discipline." Caesar shook his head.

He knelt you onto the floor and tied your arms behind your back with his headband, you looked up not knowing what side of Caesar was coming up next. He crouched next to you and gently tilted your chin upwards again and planted another kiss on your lips. He softly hummed and locked his eyes on you as he dragged his hands down your stomach and gently unbuckled your belt and unzipped your jeans. You closed your eyes and bit your lip, his hand slipped in and he gently rubbed the fabric of your underwear against your sensitive nub.

"Caesar.. it's too much please slow down" You rested your head on his chest panting hard as he made small fast circles.

"Hmmm, that's going to be a no Y/N, this will teach you to behave." Caesar smirked.

He continued on, his other hand reached down his own jeans and gently pleasured himself at the same time with you, he licked and bit his lip, you grew more and more wet with his long fingers rubbing against you.

"Oh my, feels like you are enjoying this, your panties are soaked." Caesar licked his lips "Alright, since you're so excited I'll let you have a break but you have to do something for me..."

You let out a soft moan when he pulled his hand out from your jeans, he smirked and kicked off his jeans all that remained was his dark blue boxers. You looked up and saw how excited he was, the nerves kicked in.

"Hmm, well since I made you feel good, it's time you made me feel good, I'll need you to be creative Y/N. You are only allowed to use your mouth, so what are you waiting to get to work!" Caesar placed his hand on his hip and brought you closer gently gripping your hair.

He opened his legs as he sat back down on the bench, you sat by his legs. He smirked, you looked down at his boxers and leaned in gently trying to work out what to do. Your eyes beamed when you noticed the buttons, you gently tugged the first button with your teeth prying it free, once you got the hang of the technique all three of the buttons were loose. You sighed and grinned sitting back while having a breather.

"I don't have all day Y/N, get busy!" He shoved your face back in, he was certainly excited.

You darted out your tongue and reached in the opening of his boxers and encouraging his length to pop out by curling and wrapping your tongue against him. After a few minutes of trial and error it eventually popped out, you saw it in all its glory it was average sized but thick. You swallowed hard and started to lick the tip gently not wanting to screw this up.

"Ah Y/N... your tongue is like heaven please don't stop.." Caesar threw his head back in bliss and patted your head again.

You loved how he tasted and how smooth he was, you shifted forward more and gently suckled on his tip leaving small kisses on him inbetween. Caesar was in bliss; he softly moaned and closed his eyes.

"Y/N please more... please..." He was begging for you.

You loved to hear his soft moans and hear him beg for you was something you thought you'd never hear, it made you more excited. The bubbles clamped on your nipples bopped against his thighs as you sucked him deeper causing more friction for your nipples. He was almost at his limit.

"Ah okay that's enough" Caesar quickly pulled you away and pulled off his boxers. "For now..."

You sat there arms still bound, the bubbles still clamped on your nipples catching your breath. He smirked, bending down to you and gently removing the rest of your clothes. He walked back to the bench and leaned over to pick up the mop.

"Y/N you did such a good job, how about a reward, hm?" He looked down at you with a smirk. Holding the mop tightly in his hands `

"What did you have in mind Caesar...?" You were frozen on the spot looking at his smirk, what in the world was he going to do.

He sat back down and brought you forward again, your eyes focused on his thighs, he was twitching with excitement. He looked down at you and smirked, holding the mop head in his hand, he guided the wooden handle down to your sensitive and wet area and gently rubbed it against your outside folds.

"AH CAESAR!" You moaned out it felt so good rubbing against your sensitive area, you flung your head back and bit your lip.

"Hm, that's what I like to hear now let's finish this." Caesar tilted his head and winked while he pushed your head into his crotch again.

You quickly suckled on him, your tongue licking and wrapping around, as he gently rubbed the wooden handle against your sensitive nub, you were so close your body was shaking you wanted to release your wave of pleasure so badly.

"Ah Y/N, you have such a talented tongue... oh god..." Caesar began to shake along with you.

You picked up the pace hoping he would do the same, he unleashed his wave inside your mouth you let go of him and swallowed it all you looked up to him panting hard wanting him to rub your nub more to let you finish.

"I think we are finished now" He threw the mop aside and looked down at you "Aww don't look at me like that Y/N, I did say this was a punishment"

You begged for him to continue. You wanted to have that satisfaction like he did, he shook his head and he released the bubbles from your nipples. He slowly walked behind you squatting down untied his headband, wrapping it around his forehead again.

*Cue Roundabout*

"Don't think this is over yet, Y/N. Both you and JoJo still need to learn your lesson. Whether he likes it or not, I know you'll behave for me." He smirked and pointed at you as he stood up "Meet me in my room tonight, 9pm sharp and don't be late."

You sat there with your eyes wide following his movements, your nerves kicked in again your body began to shake.

"Oh and don't worry, I'll be sure to tell JoJo...." he leaned by your ear and whispered

"Everything...."

[<--------To Be Continued----------]

Chapter 3

[marsbutterfly]

The Scientist’s Gamble - Part 1

Summary:  "Attention! Commander Erwin has sent me here today with an announcement! In exactly one month an expedition will take place outside the walls!", Moblit pauses for a second, paying close attention to the reactions in front of him. "The goal of this mission will be..."

Note:  I would like to thank my amazing wife for editing this fic for me, I know it wasn't easy and I love her very much. She has been nothing but supportive from the very beginning and her help is extremely appreciated as I try to find own my writing style in a whole different language. She's amazing and I'm very lucky to have her in my life!

Next Chapter

AO3 Version! | Wattpad Version!

"Wait... So we're going outside the walls to capture a titan so that Squad Leader Hanji can experiment on it?" someone asks from the back of the room.

"Well... Yes, but it's for the good of humanity," Moblit says while he holds the bridge of his nose. The expression on his face tells you that he did not agree with this, but he is willing to give it a go so long as life inside the walls could take its next step towards the truth. "The Commander has given his OK, so this operation will be moving forward. Now, how she managed to convince him to agree to this is beyond me..." His voice disappears as he walks out of the room, all the while scribbling on his clipboard.

As soon as his silhouette is out of sight, the room starts to fill with murmurs.

"That's such a waste of resources!"

"We should be out there killing titans, not this!"

From your spot in the corner of the room, you begin to write in your journal everything you might need to prepare for the expedition, such as a new training schedule and what arrangements would need to be done.

"Y/N?" says a disembodied voice, startling you a bit and pulling you away from your to-do list. "Y/N? Are you in there?"

You look up to see Eren waving his hand in front of your face, almost failing to catch your attention.

"Oh, I'm sorry," you say, not looking at him, and not really sorry. "What were you saying?"

He laughs. "You really are hopeless. Would you like to come train with us?" He gestures at the Cadet group as they walk out the door.

"Oh, not today," you say, "I need to head back to my room to collect some of my notes and deliver them to my Squad Leader. I wouldn't want our next expedition to be delayed, you know!" Although you try your best to remain serious, the enthusiasm in your voice is undeniable.

He rolls his eyes and allows his lips to curl into a smirk, "We'll catch up with you later then!" he says while walking towards the door and just like that, you're alone in the classroom. Packing your things, you make your way out. You read the notes in your hands as you walk, making sure you only need to make one quick stop before heading toward the lab.

Once in your room, you look underneath every book, paper, and pile of clothes. You try your best to find your notes on titan deterioration, but quickly realize they are nowhere to be found.

Did you not bring them back after the last expedition? No, you remember seeing them just a couple of days ago. Could they be with old reports? No, you just checked. Did someone take them? At that moment, you realize that just may be what happened. After what happened with Annie Leonhardt, you didn't know who you could trust, and as a result, you've been being extremely careful not to misplace your paperwork.

Yet somehow your most important piece of work is missing. Slowly but surely, panic sets in. "What will I tell Squad Leader Hanji? I don't want to disappoint her," you mutter, taking a deep breath. Panicking won't help right now, so you do your best to pull yourself together, and gather all the other papers you need before making your way towards the lab.

You knock on the lab door rather loudly a couple of times.

"Come in!" Your heart skips a beat at the sound of her voice calling from the inside of the room. You open the door slowly, remembering past instances of her dropping glass beakers when startled. Luckily Hanji is just sitting at her desk, writing reports. Likely about the most recent past expedition, probably where she got the idea of capturing yet another titan to serve as her experiment. At least that would give Eren a little bit of a break. He really needs it.

"Squad Leader Hanji, I brought you all the data I've collected about titans from previous expeditions. The most common sizes, our studies on abnormal..." Your hearts speeds up as you notice her looking at you, but you can't bring yourself to face her as you speak again. "I can't seem to find the papers about their deterioration. All the details we've collected seem to be lost. I'm so sorry, and I'll keep looking for it. If I can't find it until tonight, I'll write you a new report from memory, I swear." You can feel her eyes on you, and it gets a little harder to breathe. Your lungs try their best to keep up with the speed of your rambling.

"Well, Y/N," Hanji says, getting closer as she walks towards you. Tears of frustration well in your eyes, and you expect the worst. You worked so hard to become her assistant, to earn this. The thought of it all going wrong would be enough to break you. You're vaguely aware of her rifling through papers on her desk.

"It's alright, dear! I have them right here. You must have forgotten them here last night. I reminded you to grab them but you seemed to be in quite a hurry." Hanji could sense the uneasiness coming from her assistant, her face softening as she pulls you into a hug, and it's desperately what you need at that moment. You breathe a sigh of relief now that you know you didn't mess this up. At least not this time.

You let your mind wander to last night. You had spent hours copying the indiscernible scribble-scratch of Hanji's field notes. You think of how you called her over to translate a particularly messy section, and you think of the way she gently touched your arm before her hand slid along your skin as she reached for the pen. The hairs on your body instantly rose, and combined with the chills going down your spine, you couldn't help the embarrassment that flooded through you. Before she could've said anything, you got up and ran, wishing her a hasty goodnight on your way out.

Your cheeks burn. No wonder you misplaced your papers.

But realization hit you; Hanji has her arms around you in a warm and comforting embrace. She's holding you, cradling you. The heat in your cheeks spread across your entire face, a dark shade of red replacing your usual skin tone. One of the reasons you wanted to be her assistant in the first place was to spend time with her. Your crush on Hanji isn't something new and has never been a secret. Everyone seems to know about it... except Hanji herself.

"Are you all right? Your heart is beating so fast," Hanji says, breaking the silence between you two. She pokes two fingers against your neck to feel the pulse, but you swat her hand away. You quickly pull away while looking in the other direction, hoping she doesn't notice your embarrassment.

"I'm fine, Squad Leader! Do you need my help with anything today?" you say, gathering enough strength to sound like you aren't melting before her eyes.

"Not for now. Over the course of the next few weeks, I'll be mostly filling out paperwork and preparing the lab to receive our new visitor," she beams, and the stars in her paired eyes with the excitement in her voice is more than enough to bring a smile to your face.

Hanji grabs your shoulders. "All I need is for you to study our past discoveries, but mostly prepare yourself for all the new ones we're about to make!" She begins to gently shake you, rocking you back and forth in her excitement. "Make sure to practice your 3D maneuvers as well, I wouldn't want to lose my favorite assistant!"

You feel your blush deepen, and wonder how she doesn't notice.

"Of course, Squad Leader," you say.

.

During the next four weeks, you spend your days mostly with your friends in the hopes some of their strongest skills rub off on you.

Mikasa teaches you how she handles her blade. You try your best to learn from her, but handling swords isn't your strong suit. But still, there is a noticeable improvement in your form. Thanks to her, your blades can firmly and precisely cut through a titan's nape without any problem.

Eren and Jean argue over who would help you with 3DM air movements until they finally agree that it would be best for both of them to assist you. This plan lasts less than a week until finally after you break up two fistfights and countless arguments, the two of them come to the conclusion that being around each other is worse than a death sentence. You start to practice on your own, but they manage to teach you a few new tricks, like being able to do a backflip before slicing the titan's neck, that way you would be able to move quickly and proceed to another titan in a matter of seconds.

Armin sits with you every day during lunch and dinner, keeping your knowledge on Titans sharp. He shuffles through bundles of cards as well as notebooks full of information. He quizzes you every day and corrects you when you're wrong. He's the most helpful of them all.

Reiner and Bertholdt do their best to train you in hand-to-hand combat. You won't need it, and Annie was better than they are, but they must have sparred with her enough for some of her moves to rub off, and you figure there's no harm in being overly prepared.

Krista teaches you what she knows about how to care for wounds with ingredients you can find in the forest. She shows you how to wrap an injury and how to do it quickly. Nothing new, but she is very good at helping others. Ymir shows up halfway through Krista's splinting demonstration, and you're pretty sure she only stays there so she can play the part of swooning, Injured Scout. Every so often she would let out a long sigh and moan about her fake injuries. "I'm so hurt Krista, please take care of me," she says. "If I survive this injury, please marry me Krista." You don't ask Ymir for help with anything, you know all she really puts effort into is charming Krista.

Sasha and Connie... well, they're certainly a good distraction when you need a break. Sasha tells you her hunting stories, and when she notices you're interested, her stories become much more dramatically performed. She recruits Connie to help her put on a play, and he plays every character in her stories: Sasha herself, the injured animal, even the sound of the wind as it rushes past the trees. They are exceptionally good at making you laugh.

The night before the expedition departs, while you're in your room packing your bags and triple-checking your list making sure everything you might need is in it. Everything seems to be in order. Flare guns, medical supplies, a toothbrush and comb. A sudden knock on your door pulls you away from your thoughts.

"Yes?"

"Y/N, can I come in?" says a familiar voice, and your heart skips. You nearly give yourself whiplash as you turn your head.

"Yes!" you call out, and the door creaks open. Your eyes meet Hanji's, and a familiar feeling overtakes you.

"I haven't seen you in so long. I miss you," she has a gentle smile on her face, and you feel your cheeks reddening as usual. Why must your body do this to you every time she's around? You signal for her to come inside, and Hanji closes the door behind her.

Hanji sits on your bed while reaching for your hand. She takes it and pulls you closer, excitement in her eyes. As soon as you readjust next to her, you impulsively wrap your arms around her shoulders. It takes Hanji by surprise, but she is quick to return the embrace. If only you had the courage to tell her how you feel before you leave tomorrow... but you can't risk clouding her mind with such thoughts. She needs to have a clear head tomorrow, and you need to be there for her no matter what. She may not know how you feel, but you need to remember her like this, just in case. You touch the rough fabric of her jacket, inhale the scent of her hair, feel the cold and hardness of her glasses press against your cheek. You just hold her, needing to feel her like it's the last thing you'd ever do on this Earth.

You wish you could stay forever in her arms, but you manage to pull yourself away after a few seconds. Hanji gives you a soft look. "What was that about?" she asks.

Your face feels so hot you're surprised you don't burst into flames. That familiar feeling takes over your body while your brain processes everything that just happened.

"I missed you too," is all you can say. "So, did you want to tell me something, Hanji?"

Her slight smile disappears. She takes a deep breath, as if the air in her lungs is about to be stolen, "I'm just a little nervous about tomorrow. I thought you might be able to help me calm down, but it seems like I didn't even need to ask," she says, smiling. "Do you feel ready?"

"Yes, I've been practicing to make sure I will not be killed tomorrow!", you say, forming fists with your hands and positioning them on your hips. You're proud of everything you've accomplished with your friends' help during these past few weeks. Hanji starts laughing, and you beam with pride. You hope this is what she needed.

When her laughter subsides, Hanji lets out a contented sigh. "I honestly don't know what I would do without you around," she says.

Your eyes widen, and you get embarrassed again. You can't help but look away. Her soft hand touches your shoulder, "I should get going now. I need to look over some details before we leave in the morning." She squeezes your shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

You nod. "Of course, Squad Leader."

.

"Our mission, the expedition to capture a Titan, will now commence! Give up your hearts for humanity!" Commander Erwin's voice echoes clearly throughout the scouts as the gate opens fully. While screaming, he signals with his arms and the horses sprint outside the wall in formation. The gate closes behind them with a heavy thunk.

The sky is a beautiful shade of blue, with very few clouds. The cold breeze against your skin brings chills everywhere it touches. There are goosebumps all over your body, but the excitement rushing through your veins is enough to keep you warm for now. You've been preparing yourself for this for the past month and you feel like for once, luck is on your side.

Right next to you rides Hanji. Her laugh rings out louder than dozens of thundering hooves and yelling Scouts. The Commander had asked you to stay by her side at all times, mostly to keep her from getting herself killed, and judging by the twinkle in his eye, you could tell that your affections were noticed even at the highest level of the Scouting Regiment.

As the formation rides out, Hanji takes a moment to meet your eyes, and you smile at her. Today is going to be a win for humanity, you think to yourself.

You could not be more wrong.

[liebegott]

Practical Joke. | George Luz

for @wexhappyxfew​, who also thought it’d be fun to fake date george luz.

(click here to read on wattpad)

feel free to send me a request!

pairing: george luz x reader

wc: 1.9k

synopsis: george luz fools everyone into thinking you’re dating, but you end up falling in love with him for real.

a/n: this took me so long to write, i actually started it like over a week ago but had no idea which direction to take it in since i definitely do not know how to write arguments. despite that, i still like how it ended up, and i hope you do too! 

i mean no disrespect to the real george luz. this is all purely based on rick gomez’ portrayal of him in band of brothers.

tagging: @floydtab​ @alienoresimagines​ @order-of-river-phoenix​ @julianneday1701​ @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant​ @wexhappyxfew​

***

It all started as a practical joke.

Okay, maybe not. Jokes were meant to be funny, and practical jokes were meant to dupe everyone else except for the ones in on it. Sitting on your workbench, you stared as the young man across you went into great detail of everyones reaction to the two of you.. well, fake dating. Except now, nearly a month into the con, you wished it wasn't fake, and he had no clue.

If you were being honest, it really all started with George Luz. The company joker had found his way into your office in Toccoa, where you had been working as a nurse, and training to work on medical transport planes for the Airborne.

The man limped into your office, his face grimacing with pain. "Hey, nurse," he started, trying to casually lean on your metal desk though it was anything but casual, "My leg kinda hurts when I walk." Strain was plastered all over his face.

You had heard of the grueling training all the soldiers were being put under, so you were used to them coming in for strained muscles and the like. "What company are you under?" you asked, guiding him to sit on your metal desk so you could inspect him.

"Easy, ma'am."

Whistling, you helped him sit up and took out your pen. "I hear you boys run up Currahee nearly everyday."

The man shrugged, bashfully looking at you as you inspected his thigh, "Eh, we do it so often its almost as easy as breathing."

You paused what you were doing and looked at him, "Well, if it was so easy, what happened to your thigh then?"

"Alright, fine," he frowned, leaning in closer to you, his voice barely above a whisper, "You'll need to keep a secret." Squinting at him, you nodded. "I tripped and fell."

Holding in a laugh, you shook your head and walked towards the freezer unit in the corner of your office that stored cold presses. "Lucky for you, Mr. Easy-As-Breathing, you just pulled a muscle." You saw him jokingly wipe away non-existent sweat on his forehead and smiled. "10 to 20 minutes, press this on the swelling to stop it," you said, handing him an ice pack, "And rest that leg."

"Thank you, ma'am," He hopped down from the desk on his other leg, and wobbled to the door. "It's George Luz, by the way. In case you need to write it on your," he twirled his finger, pointing at your nurse's notes, "thingie over there."

"Nice to meet you, George. I'm Y/N." you smiled, "Be careful."

"I'm always careful!"

***

Your head in your arms, you groaned, the throbbing pain in your temple possibly getting worse.

"You okay, nurse?" you heard a man ask, and looked up to see Bill Guarnere. He had come in a few times to help deliver supplies to your office. He looked at you in concern, mouth in a frown.

"My head just hurts," you replied, nodding towards the corner of your office, "You can leave those there." Bill carried the box filled with nursing supplies and plopped them on a stool.

He turned to face you once more and said, "Your boyfriends gonna be so sad to hear this. His angel, you know that's what he calls you?"

You couldn't believe your ears. Lifting your head up slowly, you looked Bill in the eye. "What did you say?"

"Yeah, Luz right?" he replied, looking off into the distance, "None of us could believe it. Congratulations, by the way. He's a great guy."

You stood quickly, the entire world tilting. With your blood boiling in your ears, you didn't even let Bill finish as you were out the door.

"Nice chatting with ya'!" you heard him call for you, but you were already halfway towards their billet by then. You stomped as fast as your legs could take you. Boyfriend? Luz? You met the guy yesterday, you thought to yourself in disbelief.

The migraine in your head long gone, you stopped in front of their billet and took a deep breath. You pushed open the door, not realizing how light it was and it swung open and banged on the wall. All heads in the room turned to you, and your cheeks turned a beet red. "Is," you said, your voice trembling, "Is George Luz here?"

A few men smirked at each other. "Luz, your girlfriend's here." one of them yelled, and George came skidding out of the washroom in the back. His eyes opened in terror and just as you were about to correct the skinny man who referred to you as Luz' girlfriend, he pushed you out the door with a hand clasped around your mouth. You heard the men laugh behind you, making you even angrier.

George quickly shut the billet door behind you and looked at you sheepishly. "Hey, Y/N." was all he managed to get out before you quickly interrupted him.

"What the hell, George?" you exclaimed, lightly jabbing him in the chest, "What's everyone saying about this girlfriend business?"

He rubbed his chest in pain and grimaced at you. "Ow, what's that for?" George mumbled, shielding himself from your hand. "What? It's hilarious! They think I'm so cool for snagging a dame like you."

Your mouth fell agape and you were about to tell him why it was a horrible idea when the Easy boys started filing out of their billet, hooting and whistling at the two of you. "Break it up, lovebirds!" a tanned one yelled, calling Luz, "We have 3 minutes to get to the training ground."

George looked back at his friends before grabbing your head in a panic, planting an awkward kiss on your nose and yelling a quick goodbye.

And that's how you became George Luz' fake girlfriend.

***

It all started as a practical joke.

But now you were in love with him. He sat across you talking about how his friends all love you too, and how worried he was that the secret would come out. George spent nearly all his free time loitering around your office and often brought you random gifts whenever he could in order to keep the façade alive for the past month.

Sitting on a chair in the corner of your office, he paced continuously as he spoke, waving his arms in grand gestures, scheming about their next plot to fool his friends. Rather, his next plot. "How about we stage a fight?" he asked, suddenly stopping in front of you but his eyes were everywhere but on you. "I'll even let you slap me!"

George said it with so much excitement, you nearly took up the offer to slap him right away. "Don't you think this is going a bit too far?" you responded, fiddling with your fingers on your lap, "I mean, the guys seem to really like me. I can't imagine how disappointed they'd be if they found out."

"Of course they like you, Y/N," George rolled his eyes, before settling his gaze on you and smiling. You expected something heartfelt, but instead he said, "You take me off their hands."

You rolled your eyes and shook your head, "Whatever, George. But if this all blows up in your face its your own fault."

They were quiet for awhile until he nudged you with his knee. "In all honesty though," he smiled genuinely, his voice quieter this time, "Who wouldn't like you? You're the kindest, smartest, funniest, and best nurse any company could ever ask for."

You squinted your eyes, staring down the brunet man. "Was that a genuine compliment, Luz?" you grinned, trying to brush off what he had just said as friendly, "Wouldn't want you falling in love with me now wouldn't we."

He shrugged with a grin, "Already am, sweetheart." Your cheeks burned and he quickly added, "We're dating remember!"

It was all just a joke to him, you had to remind yourself. "That's hilarious," you mumbled, "I need to go back to work." Standing, you quickly brushed past him and sat back down on your desk. He clearly didn't know what upset you, because his face fell because of your cold demeanor and tipped his head in goodbye.

"See you later," he tried saying, but you simply nodded in response.

***

It all started as a practical joke.

But now you were heartbroken. When George Luz said later, he definitely meant it. The day was over, and you packed up your stuff to head back to your billet. You still thought of how rude you were when he said goodbye, and how you should probably explain why your demeanor was like that. As you stepped outside, you were greeted by the one and only. He was seated on a bench outside your office, a cigarette between his lips.

Plopping down beside him, you gently pulled the cigarette from him and took a puff yourself. "What are you doing here?" you asked as you handed it back to him.

"I," he started but quickly paused, furrowing his eyebrows in concentration, "I honestly don't know."

You let out a dry laugh and bumped his shoulder with his, "I'm sorry for how I acted awhile ago. I just didn't think that joke was all too funny."

George nodded and looked at you. "Sorry," he whispered, but he didn't ask further, which disappointed you.

"It started off as a joke, ya know?" you continued, "But I really feel like I'm the one getting fooled." He looked at you, confusion evident on his face. "Because the more I spend time with you, the more I get to really like you. Then I remember its just all jokes for you, just a stupid prank, and then I get sad because I wish it were real."

George paused, and looked back down at the ground. "Well damn, Y/N. I thought the same thing," he replied, turning to you with a slight smile on his lips. "If I'm being honest, none of the guys think I'm cool for snagging a dame like you." he teased, repeating his line from when this whole thing started. "I think I'm really cool just because you talk to me, though." He smiled and messed up the hair on your head, and you breathed a sigh of relief. He laughed, and at the sound of it, you couldn't help but laugh too.

"So now what?" you asked him, gently fixing your hair that he messed up, "Are we gonna tell them it was all just a joke?"

With a mischievous glint in his eye, he put his arm around you and grinned, "How about we don't?"

"What are you on about now, George?" you said exasperatedly, but hints of a smile were on your face.

"How about I take you on a real date?" He grinned, cupping your cheek with one hand, "I got a weekend pass and Sobel hasn't even once looked my way this week."

A wide smile spread on your face and you nodded, holding onto the hand he had on your cheek, "I would love that, George. I really would."

"Guess I'll have to tell the guys I got the prettiest nurse in camp to go out on a date with me."

It started off as a practical joke, but now it was your reality.

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.4

I wanna be an intern too, you ragedy ann looking ass hoe 😠



Y/n pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

All goes well when you are ignorant is what my dear best friend would say to me now, as I sit in the very back of the class unfocused on how our teacher is introducing an activity I have no chance of participating in. All I knew was that when Mr. Aizawa walked up to the board and wrote names of people getting offers, I wasn't one of them. Not that I expected to be, considering I wasn't in the sports festival, let alone the school at all back then. 

However, I did notice a small inconsistency in the order of the most offers. I was pretty sure that boom boom had gotten first place in the festival, him being there is what convinced me to transfer, but his name was actually second on the board. 

Todoroki had taken the place of first as far as offers were concerned. Todoroki the nice boy who I used to meet when I snuck away from my fucking prison cell. Call me privileged for complaining about living in a mansion All my life, but I much prefer being here. With common folk. They ground me. 

I peeked up from my phone at the red and white head of hair in front of me, he didn't seem all that fazed. Although maybe it was just the lack of seeing his face that made me believe he couldn't care less about all but one of those offers. Still, his business is his, and my business is the new Ao3 update on my favorite chrollo lucilfer fanfiction. What a babe. 

I decided that the class as of right now would be of no importance to me, considering I will have no offers, and bakugou-the reason I came here- hates me like I'm a piece of gum stuck under his shoe.  Through that conclusion I allowed myself to dissolve into the world of hxh and forget about how boring this world is. 

Could my power beat Killua or go in a fight? I mean, it doesn't enhance my strength like they did trying to get into Killua's house so physically they must be stronger. 

"Y/n! Is there something you would like to share with the class?"

Mr.Aizawas voice seemed almost shot at me as my gaze rose from my phone in my lap to meet him at the front of the room. He looked displeased to say the least. Well good for him, im displeased too, I might not be able to beat a fucking twelve year old in combat. 

"Huh?"

"You were grumbling, what's so important you had to tell us, hm?"

I thought it through for a second- just kidding, I never think anything through. 

"Oh, well I wasn't sure if I could beat Gon in a fight, but I'm not coming to the realization that if Chrollo is my boyfriend, I shouldn't have to fight anyone at all. I can just be a pretty face in the backgrounds and then after he wins for me i'll suck his-"

"Enough, y/n." Mr.Aizawa no longer held a tired looking face, his eyes were wide and an uncomfortable cringed was set on his face. As I peered at the rest of the class many also had shocked eyes, but unlike our teacher, held faint blushes. 

Minus midoriya, his face was completely red and his eyes void of life. I must've killed him, huh. 

"Wait!"

In an attempt to regain some dignity, I tried to correct myself.

"I would....not suck his-?"

"Don't even say it, shitty princess !"

"Woah bakugou, you spoke to me on purpose!?"

"Shut up!"

"Hey, how come you call me princess, you like me or something?"

He growled at that, neither of us paying mind to the fact that everyone in the class was either dead from nosebleeds or extremely uncomfortable and staring at us.  

"Its cuz you act fucking entitled like a princess"

"I'll be your pillow princes-"

"Enough!" A robotic-like hand sliced the air in front of me. The voice sounded firm, almost more teacher-like than our teacher's voice. I followed my gaze up the hand, not failing to notice how as I drew up the guy's arm his muscles only seemed to get bigger and bigger and- iida? 

"Oh class rep-"

"Y/n this vulgar language and border-line harassment needs to cease immediately. I will not tolerante overtly sexual language and acts in this class-"

As he was speaking I noticed something ironic about the situation. If everyone here didn't like sexual jokes or banter, how were they so flustered at comments that objectively should be unknown to them. 

"How did you know what I meant, iida?" I rasped in a low sultry voice, allowing my fingers to dance up his arm starting at the wrist in front of my face. 

I heard a few chuckles from, who I would say are the only two people enjoying this situation: kaminari and...stinky mineta. Iida's face grew more red than previously and the arms in front of me began shaking. 

"Mr.Aizawa it seems I've disarmed the robot. Is there a restart button or something?" I question with a serious face using the search as an excuse to wonder my eyes all over his body. Perverted? Yes. Rightfully attracted to this giant hunk of a nerd. Yes ×10. 

"No, there is not." Todoroki, who was in front of me, finally turned around to address me. I guess he was unfazed by my words. Looks like someone here can be cool. Whether he is okay because he is more comfortable with sexual jokes, or because he has yet to pick up on them, its nice that somebody in here can still function. Otherwise, I'd feel like a nuisance. 

"Y/n I'm not really sure how to- let's just say to have detention with your m- midnight. Detention. Yeah." Aizawa publicly convinced himself of my punishment? 

"Okay"

"Now, back to this, even if you didn't get any offers ALL of you will have an internship" 

And so went on the class, kids chose their hero names, not me though. I wasn't even sure I wanted to be a hero at all, this was just a little less boring and sad than the way I lived before. This school had people who laughed in joy, not just to mask the pain. That was the real benefit, not being a hero, or being strong. Likely no one here realized that there were many places where none of this joy was possible. 

Some of the kids in class gave me suggestions for a hero name, but I didn't like them anyway. They lacked personality, and while I have many adjectives to describe my personality, my life, none of them are all that heroic. 

"Dark element"

"Girl who will die if her quirk doesnt like its environment" 

See, I'm not the best at this. Even bakugan names had some sense to it...well no. I'd say we're about the same, but still. Ugh. 

~timeskip~ 

Bakugou pov 😠

She came up with no hero names. Fucking entitled brat. Everyone at this lunch table seems to have no problem with the fact that she is here, just happy to have another pair of tits to stare at like perverts. Their gross. I bet she doesn't even want to be a hero, she sure as hell doesn't act like it. We don't even know what her whole quirk is. Ive seen her do that plant shit a couple times, fucking with flowers or whatever. Still, there's more to it. Something we don't know, at least. Cuz in the middle of class she gets up and whispers to Aizawa and he just lets her go. Where the fuck does she go? 

Interrupts class, got into the school because her moms a teacher, won't use her quirk. What a nuisance, I can't believe she is not expelled yet. Plus those bullshit sex jokes are so shitty. She is obviously faking something when she does them. Not like midnight, who always at least seems like she means that gross shit. 

"Hey, who did you guys choose for your internship? I haven't chosen yet."

"The number three hero guy," I spoke, knowing I'm the only person here who already chose. 

"Really? Best jeanist! That's so cool, but are you sure that for you bakugou?" Shitty hair raised a shitty brow at me. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?"

"Just that he seems pretty...uptight..for you?" Dunceface added, but he spoke like it was a question. Of course he is the hero for me, he is the highest ranting hero on my list. If I wanna be number one, I gotta train with the best. 

If I go to his agency I'm sure there will be a lot more action, since he is so high ranking. Then i'll get some real experience kicking villain ass, well, other than the USJ. 

"Of course he is the right option!"

"Woahhh~"

Shit. It's her voice. I honestly should applaud her for using it less often around me but, how can one small girl be so goddamn annoying. I don't even know what she has to say and I already wish she would just put a sock in it. How can someone so entitled like her, probably never had to lift a finger, walk  over here and talk like she has something to say. 

"You're working with the best jeanist! So cool, one time he saved me from a group of rapist guys, it was awesome with all these strings everywhere and I could only see half of his face. Oh and he had goofy hair too!"

Oh. I didn't really know how to respond to the girl who looked so excited about almost being violated. Another thing wrong with her? I looked back at the other people at the table to see if they knew how to respond to something like that. 

Dunceface was frozen, tape arms were frozen, shitty hair was frozen, and alíen eyes were looking like a lost puppy and trying not to cry. 

It didnt seem like the shutty princess was exactly understanding how what she just yelled was making things weird. She just stood there expectantly. She kinda looked like she thought being raped was something that must happen to everyone. Did she think that? Wouldn't put it past her weird ass. 

"Uhm...anyways, i'm sure you'll do awesome, he likes to put boys in tight jeans. Wish I could intern too, I'd love to see that boom boom~" she winked. 

A perverted joke...and then she had the audacity to wink at me. 

"You wish you could see me in tight jeans, shitty extra!"

"I know...thats what a I just said." She dead panned, blinking a couple times at me. 

"Tch, screw you!"

"I would-" 

"Can it, i don't wanna hear your shitty voice anymore"

The girl stopped herself after my words, pushing all her hair behind her head, except for the two blond stands in the front. 

(You don't have to acknowledge these if you don't want, but I made it so that they change color depending on what element your using and I thought it was hot*if you have short hair, then you just got a lil nishinoya type thing 🥰)

Lifted her obnoxious hands that moved around while she talked and made a zipper-like motion over her lips. Then she just stood there looking at me. I really wanted to just let her stand there and go back to eating. Ignore her completely and let her hope fizzle out and die or something like that. 

Yet here I am, still looking at her. Silently. Wishing she made a stupid joke so that I could stop flickering between those images I'd seen of her dancing. How even though ballet is a princess fucking dance, the pictures felt nice. Like if I was watching it live I would probably be unable to criticize it. That pissed me off, because I want to hate everything about her, but I can't hate those photos. Where she looks like she is flying, without any need for a quirk.

I see her in that weird gown, and now, in the UA uniform. I see her looking respectable, formal, and serious. Then I see her stupid little smirk as she takes pride in being able to shut up for more than a minute. 

"Why are you still standing there?"

Instead of answering, she took her hand up again, made a pinch with her fingers and unzipped her mouth. 

"I was enjoying the look in your eyes."she smiled. 

The look in my eyes? Could she tell I was seeing two different people? What the hell does that even mean? Even said it without that shitty flirt voice. Like she meant it. 

"You tryna make fun of me?"I stood up from the table to get in her face.

"Not right now, maybe later, I gotta do something." She smiled sincerely at me, for a second as she walked away, I forgot about how this conversation started. What a wierd fucking girl. I'll never respect her as a hero. Tch. (Yes, its canon he tchs even in his thoughts) 

3rd person POV 

Y/n briskly walked out of the cafeteria with a new goal in mind. She would come to remember how maybe being oblivious was a benefit in some ways, but for now, she had a clear plan .

"Mr.Aizawa, let me do an internship."

"You weren't in the festival, I can't just hand you to a hero who has no idea what you can do, y/n."

"Well, you know what I can do, right?"

"No. I'm not doing internships. Stop asking."

"That's not what I meant! You can just tell them, or I could, it's not that hard to explain. Just say i'm all- powerful or some play on words like 'she's got all the right elements' hehe, see how i mimicked your voice there?" Y/n grinned like a child. She was proud of herself. 

"No. Still not happening."

"I wanna be an intern too, you raggedy ann looking ass hoe" 

"Y/n, it doesn't make sense, insulting me to get what you want?"

"Maybe it doesn't, but I bet you feel real insecure about your hair right now."

"You already have detention, what more do you want!"

"An internship, I wanna do one with kamui Woods, I have a good reason, too. As far as my quirk control, i'm the weakest with earth, the aspect that allows me to grow and manipulate plants and stuff. That's why I've only been using that part of it all month. Im trying to get her up to speed so I can start using all four at once. He is like a tres guy, right? He manipulates earth all day long. He could teach me a lot, and that aspect of my quirk would suit his well. Please!?!?!?"

If the girl had just asked again in a normal way, his answer would have been the same. However Aizawa was taken aback to hear how much thought she put into this. From the stories of the teachers lounge, he came to understand her big life goal, was to rely fully on a rich man or woman, and do nothing at all forever. Just to try and forget about the terrible life she was destined to have because of that quirk.

This side of her was something he could not even her mother had seen, and it prompted him to speak those words she wanted to hear so badly.

"Fine." 

[zi-i-think]

10 | Being Better Matters

Pairing: Zuko x Ama (OC)

Word Count: 7500+

.☽☼☾.

~ Ama ☾ ~

          "...And then my father basically refused to let her see me again." Suh cackled. "And rightfully so. I'm so glad I realized that becoming friends with the maid's daughter was not the way to go. So improper."

         "Uh huh." I responded dully, slowly stirring my tea for no reason other than boredom.

         When I agreed to lunch with Suh I didn't know what to expect exactly. But what was happening right now definitely made me hate agreeing to it. I could have made up something stupid. Like that Katara needed me to help her with some last minutes decorations or that Sokka wanted to train with me.

         I only agreed to this so that maybe, just maybe, I would come to like Suh. And to prove to everyone that I didn't have feelings for my ex.

         The woman chatted away. Barely giving me room to say anything. Not that I cared, really. I was zoning out so much that I didn't even know if I'd be able to hold conversation.

         I got the general story. Suh was out playing with another little girl and broke her arm somehow. Then she and her family blamed the little girl, who was unfortunately the maid's daughter.

         The way Suh talked about the maids and others who were considered "low-class" made me sick. She talked about them as if they were animals or lesser than.

         Her obnoxiously loud voice and cackle got everyone in the restaurant staring at us and sending annoyed glances. I didn't blame them. I'd probably do the same if I were in their position.

         "Oh, goodness." Suh gasped and giggled. "I just realized that I've only talked about myself this entire time." You just realized this? "So what were your maids like as a child?" She delicately picking up her noodles with her chopsticks. Spirits, can she eat any slower?

         "Oh, I didn't have any maids." I informed her in a matter-of-fact tone.

         "Oh." Her lips formed an 'O' shape and she seemed confused. "I don't understand, you father is Head Chieftain. You live in a palace." She laughed lightly, like she thought I was pulling her leg.

         I shrugged. "During the war all of the men went off to fight. So the women and kids just tried to make due with what we had. I mean, we helped each other but no one had maids."

         "Oh no wonder you're so humble." Suh gasped. Like she had just solved the world’s greatest puzzle. "Ama, you are so brave to have taking care your siblings for all those years."

         "Well, I was more like we took care of each other." I tried to correct her, but Suh just talked right over me.

         "Oh, I wish I had siblings." She grinned. "I admire you so much. It must have been so hard for you to leave them."

         I stayed silent. I wasn't exactly sure what Suh wanted me to say. I wasn't sure about anything during this conversation. It was weird. Talking to Suh was weird. How does Zuko deal with this? I know I wasn't exactly pleasant either, but Suh had no boundaries. I could only imagine how he reacted if she pressed for him to talk about his family.

         "Well?" Suh said in a curious tone, expecting me to say something. "Was it hard for you to leave your siblings?"

         That question felt a bit... forced. It was sort of oddly placed in the conversation. Oh who am I kidding? This entire conversation has been odd. Maybe I'm just reading into this entire thing too deeply.

         "Yeah, I think it's always hard to leave the people closest to you, no matter how long it'd be." I answered her.

         "And, uh. What about leaving Zuko?" She asked more nervously. Goodness is this just a jealous girlfriend thing?

         "It was hard to leave everyone." I told her. "But I don't regret it. My time away gave me the time to understand myself."

         "Oh, like your whole bisexual thing." She giggled. "You're not attracted to me, right."

         "No, I'm not." I faked a laugh. I don't know how to interact with this woman anymore. I stayed calm. She doesn't know boundaries, that's all. Just like Shemi. And I love Shemi. She's the sweetest.

         "Good. Cause that would be gross." She snickered with her hand over her mouth.

         I gave her a distraught look, but kept a smile. "Excuse me?"

         "Oh, I mean this in no offense to you. I just think that two women together is unseemly." She saw nothing wrong with what she was saying. I take back what I said. Suh in nothing like Shemi.

         Despite having a huge urge to throw my cold tea at her and educate her about what is okay to say and what isn't. I held my tongue. But I couldn't stand to be here for another minute.

         "Oh my goodness, Suh I'm so sorry." I faked a gasp and placed my hand over my mouth to sell my shocked expression. "I just remembered that Katara needs my help soon."

         "Oh, I thought she and Aang were just doing light work today with the chef." Suh responded with a light head tilt. So she has part of a brain I see.

         "Well, yes." I nodded. "But she needs my help with picking up a package. She wants me to take it back to the venue as soon as it arrives."

         "Oh, okay." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and look around nervously. Like the people in the small Water Tribe restaurant scared her.

         "Thank you so much for understanding." I sighed in fake appreciation. Slipping a few coins on the table to pay, which may have been more than it should have, I left the establishment.

         I sighed in both frustration and relief the moment I stepped out into the cold air. Technically I wasn't lying that there was a package I needed to pick up. Originally, I was just going to get it after lunch, but I didn't realize how good of an excuse it would be.

         Walking to the post office, I thought about the conversation with the irritating woman. There was just something so off about the whole thing and about her. I brushed it off. Was she obnoxious? Yes. Was she rude? Even though she didn't notice it. Yes. But was she some evil mastermind like my gut was telling me? Definitely not.

         I did find it weird how Zuko was actually, dare I say, happy to be with her. I mean. The Zuko. The man who jumped in front of lighting for me before even telling me the full extent of his traumatizing childhood is somehow incredibly compatible with a girl who asked for my entire life story the second day I knew her. But I guess he just changed more than I thought he didn't since the last time I saw him.

         "Hey sis!" I almost jumped at Sokka's voice. I turned around, seeing my brother jogging over to me on the sidewalk to catch up with me. "I thought you were still with Suh."

         "Oh that? Yeah, I left." I huffed a laugh. Finally next to me, I interlocked my left arm to his right arm so that we could walk together.

         "Ha!" Sokka laughed. "I don't blame you. She is incredibly talkative and annoying." I felt relieved that he was actually agreeing with me, unlike my other friends.

         "And when she asks these incredibly personal questions." I added.

         Sokka groaned and threw his head back in annoyance. "She asked how our mom died last night." I shook my head and sighed. "I tried to tell Zuko not to bring her to boy's night, but Aang was okay with it, so my argument meant nothing."

         "Ah yes. The groom has the final word." I laughed.

         "You know I only saw Zuko without her hanging off his arm once since they got here." He held up his index finger to make a point. "And that was when you guys had the bridal shower. Those two are always together."

         "Aww, is my brother sad he doesn't get to hang out with his boyfriend?" I quipped with a fake frown.

         "Oh shut up." He replied. "I'd just be nice to hang out. Just us guys doing guy things. Not shopping."

         "Shopping can be manly." I argued.

         "Maybe if we were shopping for weapons. Not jewelry." I scoffed at him. "Besides, I was really hoping for a good spar. Like the good old times."

         "What about me?" I shrugged while i made my suggestion.

         "We tried that a month ago." He pointed out and gave me a smug look. "I won."

         "Right, except I was still out of touch with my weapons." I pointed out. "The 8 months at the air temple didn't really give me a lot of time to practice with a sword."

         "Well if you're really in the mood to get your ass whooped by me again. Alright." He agreed, positive he'd win again. "We'll meet in the training yard tomorrow morning."

         "Sounds like a plan." I chuckled.

         "Where are we going?" Sokka finally asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked around the block. Trying to piece together where we were.

         "The placement cards and the ceiling drapes arrived today." I told him. "I'm actually glad you're here to help me take the boxes back to the venue."

         "Knew I shouldn't have come over." Sokka grumbled under his breath.

         "Hey, Sokka. Do you think that there's anything malicious about Suh?" I wondered. I knew I already dismissed the idea, but I still needed a different opinion.

         "Malicious? About Suh?" He repeated. His tone already telling me that he didn't think so. "Sis, the girl's a pain, but she's too peppy to wish anything bad upon anyone. Especially on any of Zuko's closest and most beloved friends."

         "You're right." I nodded. "I just have this gut feeling that she's hiding something."

         Sokka laughed loudly at that. "Suh is an open book. That girl explained her entire childhood in extreme detail. If she were hiding anything it'd probably be about something stupid. Like that she's had beer before." I laughed at the random thing he said and gave him a confused look. "I swear she almost threw up after the first sip last night." He claimed.

         Gosh I missed Sokka. His randomness and his cheery attitude always brought a smile to my face. He spewed so much nonsense during the rest of the errand that I didn't even think about the offputting woman again.

.☽☼☾.

~ Suh ♛ ~

         The moment Ama left the restaurant, I stood up as well. No way did I want to be in some substandard Water Tribe restaurant more than I had to. I set down the payment for the food and left.

         I knew she'd probably be waiting for me. Fuck. I didn't want to have to see her. Last she told me, I was to meet her at some old Fire Nation ship not too far from the town. I didn't exactly know why she would choose some old and gross place, but it wasn't like she could get an room at an Inn.

         Ugh. I hate snow. I grumbled as I made my way to the rendezvous. How do these people deal with it all the time? It's freezing and it's wet. I couldn't wait to get back to the Fire Nation.

         Finally arriving at the old ship, I found a tear in the metal and climbed through. The entire boat was standing on large pieces of ice, holding it above the rest of the terrain. A part of me was scared that the entire hunk of metal would fall through the ice, but another part of me knew I had to keep going. I couldn't avoid her anymore.

         I didn't even know where I was going. I just kept walking through the metal hall. "Shit!" I yelled and tripped forward. I looked at my feet. I just tripped over a string. Furrowing my eyebrows in confusion, I sat on my butt. And then I realized it was a tripwire. The metal under me rumbled and creaked. I didn't have time to more away and fell through the trapdoor.

         I screamed in fear, falling through the steep slide backwards. Until I finally came to a slow stop. I looked around. It seemed I just landed myself in some ice tunnel. At least the ice reflected the light from outside so that I can see clearly.

         "Wonderful." I grumbled to myself. Not only did I just walk into some unknown ship that was believed to be haunted, but now I'm lost. How the hell am I supposed to get to her now? I pushed myself off the cold and hard ground. And wiped off the stray pieces of snow that stuck to my clothing.

         "Well, finally." Her voice caught my ear. I turned around to see her and crossed my arms.

         "Hello, Azula." I greeted back. My tone kept it's peppy and cheerful tone. As opposed to her cold and venomous one. I was a perky person. It's a part of my personality. And it worked wonders to get me what I wanted. No one expected the giggly and seemingly foolish girl to play others like a game of chess.

         Azula wore all dark clothing. Her long sleeved gray tunic was tucked into black pants. And she wore a black tunic. Her dark brown hair was put into a high ponytail, ending just below her shoulders. Even clothed in the less than royal clothing that she would wear during the war, Azula's essence commanded to be treated with respect and to be unquestioned.

         Her hands were on her hips and she smirked at me with her red painted lips. "I was beginning to wonder if you backed out of our plan." She shrugged and started to walk down the ice tunnel, making me follow her.

         "Right, well pardon me if I'd rather spend my time with your brother." I stated matter-of-factly. "Besides, it wasn't like I was just gonna ignore you the entire time."

         Azula rolled her eyes. "Leiza if you want to be Fire Lazy you need to learn not to keep others waiting."

         "Don't call me that." I grumbled. "That's my old name." I realized that we just entered what looked like an entire room. Old animal skins were on the ground, seats make of ice, a fire on the side of the room with a pot on it. Azula had made herself a semi-comfortable home for herself. Well, for the time being.

         "I know that. I gave you your identity." She waved her hand to prove a point. "I do hope you hold up your end of the bargain, though." Azula took a seat on the animal skin, sitting criss-crossed. I sat across from her, grimacing at the feeling of the fur.

         "Right, well Ama isn't exactly that cooperative." I told her. Azula scowled, but kept quiet to let me continue. "Everyone trusts me. Even that little lie-detector." I recalled the hours Azula spent teaching me to lie expertly. "Ama is the only one holding back."

         Azula laughed at me. "Of course she's holding back. You have a tendancy of speaking before you think. You don't want to offend the girl. Plus, you're with her ex."

         "I thought that she moved on from Zuko." I snarled. "There was that Munal girl or whatever her name was."

         "Zuko got struck by lighting for that little water baby." Azula pointed out. "As much as everyone might say Zuko's in her past, my brother is always going to have a place in her heart. The same goes for him."

         I'm no firebender, but if I were there would be smoke coming from my ears. "Well she can't have him!" I shouted. "I love Zuko! Not her! And he loves me!"

         "Where did that peppy attitude go?" Azula looked amused at my angered expression. "Don't make me regret breaking you out of that mental institution all those years ago, Suh."

         "Whatever." I grumbled and rolled my eyes.

         "Whatever feelings they might have for each other. It'll be gone soon enough." Azula asure me with her devilish tone and her eyes narrowed in a cunning way. "Remember the plan."

         Zuko will end up with me. I will be Fire Lady. That was the goal. Spirits, just the thought of being with Zuko brought me so much happiness and excitement. I know that I was technically lying to him. About who I was.

         Everything about my childhood was true. I grew up rich. My father was a general in the war. But I was sent to that damn mental institution. They called it an "obsessive disorder." But I called it ambition. Azula broke me out six years ago. We pretended to be the kemurikage for a while. Most of the other girls broke away. But I stuck with Azula.

         Azula was manipulative, just like me. I stuck with her for Zuko. She was my ticket to be with him. I was patient and calculating. And now I had him. He loved me for my personality. He told me that I was the one for him. I took care of him so that he wouldn't overwork himself. Because I loved him. Plus he was so good in bed. How could I resist a man like that?

         "So, what have we learned?" Azula asked me.

         "Ama didn't like when I brought up her late girlfriend." I started. "It hit a nerve."

         "No kidding." Azula scoffed, probably already knowing that. "I need details, Suh. If we're going to do this right I need you to start from the beginning."

         I mentally growned. Looks like I'm going to be in this dank, disgusting place for a while. But if it meant I got what I wanted in the end. Fine.

.☽☼☾.

~ Ama ☾ ~

         The day was actually not freezing. There was no wind this morning, which was rare. The air was still cold, don't get me wrong. Usually I'd wear my coat in order to keep warm, but given that I was about to kick Sokka's ass, I didn't need my coat.

         Neither of us have forgotten about the little sparring session. And it was no surprise that the others wanted to watch. No one would pass up the chance of finding something to make fun of later.

         The training yard was pretty standard. It was placed to the side of the palace, beside one of the many mountains. The usual light snow covered the ground in order to prevent any serious injuries. But that also meant one would have to be extra conscious about their movements to keep from slipping.

         The perimital of the rectangular training area was a pathway made of rock. There were snowy blue pillars, holding up an overhead covering. Benches were placed under it for anyone watching. In this case, that meant our friends.

         I did my last triceps stretch before tightening my ponytail. "Are you sure you still wanna fight me?" Sokka asked me, swinging his sword to the sides as he approached the middle of the yard. "After all, I am one of the best warriors of the Southern Water Tribe."

         I created my own sword out of ice while approaching him and stopping a few feet away from him. "What? Afraid you'll get beat by your sister?"

         "Of course not. I just know that sword-fighting isn't really your style." Sokka shrugged. He took his stance. Legs apart, right foot in front of his left, swatting slightly and his sword held up by his head. I also got into the same stance, preparing for the spar.

         "Go Ama!" Ty Lee cheered.

         "Show him who's boss!" Suki cheered as well.

         Sokka looked at his girlfriend with his mouth hanging open. "Suki! Who's side are you on?" She only laughed in response, leaning back on her hands to watch the show.

         My brother and I stared at each other competitively, waiting for the other to make the first move. He moved first, stepping forward and swinging his sword at me. I moved my own sword, blocking the strike. While I pushed it away from me, I stepped to the side, kicking my brother on his side.

         He stumbled a bit at the impact, but quickly regained his footing. I took the moment to attack, swinging my weapon across. Sokka stepped back and spun to the side. He tried to strike me from above and I blocked it, holding my sword above my head. Tilting my weapon, his sword stid off to the side.

         I then swung my sword violently across. Sokka almost didn't see it coming, ducking under the blade. He looked at me with some shock. I gave him a cocky smirk, taking a few steps back while throwing the weeping from one hand to another.

         He ran towards me. I spun on my right foot, dodging his blade. My right hand gripped his wrist, letting me elbow Sokka harshly in the chest. He stumbled back and I swung my sword at him. He quickly reacted with his weapon and the metal hit briefly.

         Spinning for more momentum, I took another swing. It made contact with Sokka's sword and it slipped from his grasp. The weapon landed a few feet away. I kept my sword up, pointed at my brother.

         There were a few cheers from the benches. I was starting to enjoy my victory too quickly. Because Sokka kicked the kilt of my ice sword, and it fell out of my hand. Also landing a few feet away from me. Sokka sprinted over to his sword.

         Now I had a fraction of a second to make a decision. Either run to my weapon or keep Sokka from getting to his. I took the latter. Sprinting after my brother, I slid on the ground, kicking the sword even further away just before he reached for it.

         But he was running too fast, and now I was in the way. Sokka tripped over me. My side now hurt where his foot collided with my body. My brother was now closer to the sword but I scurried to roll over him to get in between him and the weapon.

         We both stood to our feet with our fists up and I went to punch him. He swat my arm away and I tried again, getting the same result. He in turn attempted to punch me back. I grabbed his wrist and twisted his arm.

         "Ow ow ow!" He shouted in pain while I stepped behind him, his arm twisted behind his back. I kicked the back of his knee, making him kneel on the ground.

         "So." I grin proudly. I love winning. Always a good feeling. "I win?"

         Sokka groaned, hesitant to let me win. But for the second time during that fight. I got too cocky. My brother slid one of his legs back and kicked it under me, making me let go of my grip on him as I fell on my side. Sokka reached to pick up his sword quickly and pointed it at me just as I sat up on my butt.

         "Sorry, sis. You just gotta admit that I'm a better warrior than you." He claimed his victory.

         "Okay, fine." I grumbled. Sokka lowered dhis sword and held his arm out to help me up. But I just slapped it away and got up by myself.

         "You're such a sore loser, ya know." My brother laughed at me while I already started heading to the benches.

         My ponytail had become loose during the spar and I had strands of hair sticking up. Sokka's warrior's wolf tail wasn't much different.

         "Gotta say, though, you're good with a sword." He complimented while we walked to the benches with friends. "Just not as good as me." I sucked in an annoyed breath and clenched my jaw at his taunting and he burst out laughing at my expression.

         "Well you don't have to rub it in." I grumbled and crossed my arms over my chest.

         Katara stood from her seat and wrapped an arm around both our shoulders. "It doesn't matter who's better. Just that you both gave it your all and did wonderful."

         I scoffed. "No, I disagree. Being better matters."

         "One way or another, we're all better than each other." Sokka pointed out. "Ama's better at fighting with waterbending, Katara is better at healing, and I'm better at everything else." Katara and I shared the same annoyed look, but we both were still humored by our brother.

         "Sweetie, I think it's time to go." Aang got up from his seat.

         "Oh! Yes, I think it is time." Katara grinned widely, leaving Sokka and I to join her fiance. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she wrapped her arms around his waist. They were so cute. Sure, the "sweetie" nicknames were a little nauseating, but they expressed so much love for eachother.

         A small smile tugged at my lips knowing that my sister would spend the rest of her life with someone who made her incredibly happy. Forget that he's the Avatar, he's a good man and I couldn't imagine Katara being with anyone else.

         "I didn't know you guys had wedding duties to attend to." Suki spoke up, also getting up from her seat to stand by her boyfriend.

         "We don't." Aang replied.

         "We have a date." Katara blushed. "With all the planning and preparations, Aang and I haven't had enough time just by ourselves. No distractions."

         "Yeah, instead those distractions get thrown on me." I smirked jokingly.

         "You offered!" My sister exclaimed with annoyance in her tone.

         "I'm just teasing." I laughed. "Enjoy your date, you two." Rolling her eyes, Katara and Aang went to leave the training yard and to whatever it was that they had planned. "So what's everyone else got planned?" I turned to everyone else who'd been silent.

         "Mai and I are going to try snowboarding!" Ty Lee answered and then placed a thoughtful finger on her chin. "We aren't exactly sure what it is, but we've been told it's fun." I chuckled at my friend's bubbly personality.

         "Suki and I are going to the market." Sokka grinned, intertwining his hand with Suki's.

         I then turned to Zuko, waiting for a response. "Fire Lord duties. Unfortunately, work doesn't stop for the Avatar's wedding." I frowned. Work during a vacation? Sounds awful.

         "Aw, I'm sorry, baby." Suh pouted, linking arms with him and cuddling up next to him. Zuko just smiled and chuckled at her. "I'm lucky I brought some books with me. Today is perfect to me to just sit back and relax."

         "Didn't know she could read." Mai muttered so softly that I could only hear. My hand covered my mouth to keep from laughing loudly. The others looked over at me and I faked a cough.

         "Ama, you should go." Sokka said very dryly. I gave him a sort of offended look at how he wanted me to leave. "No seriously. Auntie Nalle hates when people are late and you are a sweaty mess."

         I looked down at myself. Sokka was right. I couldn't exactly go to Auntie Nalle with my messy hair and sweat stained shirt. "Right, uh." I realized. "Well then, I'll see you all at dinner." There was a series of "byes" and "laters" from the group as I left the yard.

         Today wouldn't be a bad day. Auntie Nalle graciously offered to bake some of the pastries for the wedding. All I had to do was confirm what Katara wanted, figure out how many were needed, and then hopefully I wouldn't have to stay for her gossip.

.☽☼☾.

         I hate gossip. Don't get me wrong. I love a good scandal every now and then. However, I don't really enjoy speculations about people. I should've just told Antie Nalle that I really didn't care if Eyin stole Vulla's soup recipe. I haven't talked to them in years.

         Luckily though. The day was coming to an end. I didn't even think I'd be at dinner after all those sweets I was given. The sun was still high up in the air, telling me that most of the others were probably still busy.

         And I was in no hurry, so I walked through the courtyard beside the palace slowly. Breathing in that sweet smell of the afternoons in the Southern Water Tribe. It gave me so much nostalgia. Taking me back to when my siblings and I would have snowball fights and then go back home where mom would have dinner ready. Like her steamed dumplings. She'd scold me about my messy hair or maybe how I tore my coat. Still, I'd give anything to go back to those days.

         I ran my hands through my loose hair and looked up at the sky. Just then, a messenger hawk flew above my head and landed on one of the window sills of the palace. It was one of the windows for our hallway. Who's receiving a letter?

         My walking slowed down in curiosity. The window finally opened and Suh poked her head out. I narrowed my eyes and moved closer to one of the pillars, hiding behind it, but still getting a decent view of the window. Suh took the message from the compartment on the hawks back and the animal took off into the sky again.

         The woman unrolled the paper, reading over it. Her eyebrows pinched together and a grimace found its way to her lips I wasn't good are reading lips but it looked she either said something along the lines of "are you fucking kidding me" or "ate a funny kidney".

         Finishing the letter, Suh rolled the letter up and again. Then she poked her head out again, looking to her left and right. She was looking to see if anyone saw her receive her letter. I quickly brought my head behind the pillar again so she wouldn't see me.

         Fuck. No one looks that suspicious when receiving a letter. My mind tried to find some logical response to keep me from spiralling into some conspiracy. Maybe it was a family member or work? No she doesn't work. And what kind of familial letter would get someone to react that way? From what I've gathered, she didn't have any issues with her family.

         I looked around the pillar, seeing that the window was now closed shut. I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes. What are you hiding, Suh?

.☽☼☾.

         "Where the hell do you think you're going!" I shouted. My tone was etched with anger and also humor while I chased a thug that was running away from the city he's been terrorizing for so long. I threw my right arm up, water flew past me and turned to ice around his feet.

         The man tried to move, but there was no use. My running slowed down and I walked towards him with a light skip in my step. "Oh, you're going to pay for this." The grumpy middle aged man grimaced at me.

         I gave him a flat smile, bending more water to create handcuffs made of ice behind his back. "No, you're going to pay. In a cell" I stated matter-of-factly and removed the ice around his feet to lead him back to the village.

         I lightly shoved him into the back of the carriage, where he and the rest of the criminals would be taken away to a larger city to be locked up. Most of the smaller villages didn't have enough policemen to uphold the law or even a place to lock up said law breakers. Leaving them vulnerable to bandits and thugs like these guys.

         "My village can not thank you enough." The mayor expressed his appreciation to myself and the rest of my group. "We do not have much to give, but please accept some of our fresh vegetables and meat."

         One of the older women stepped towards us with a basket filled with carrots, tomatoes, meats, and other things. She handed it to Masha and she bowed her head in thanks.

         Mulan stepped forward to speak to the mayor, putting her katana into its sheath. "Thank you, for your generous gift. It was an honor to fulfill our duty in ridding your town of those criminals."

         She was always so respectful to everyone. When speaking to officials especially, Mulan's voice was polite and unwavering. And because of that, we were respected back. But trust me. The moment someone stepped out of line, she'd be sure to put them back into their place.

         We all bowed to the mayor to bid our farewell and left the village to set up camp for the night. "We have enough here to make a stew!" Masha looked through the basket. "We're eating good tonight, my fellow bastards!"

.☽☼☾.

         At dusk that day, Masha was standing over a large pot, cooking us all a stew. I sat on the grass with my back against a fallen tree, taking in the sight of my new friends.

         After Mulan introduced me to the Miraculous Bastards a month ago, I joined them. It wasn't much different than when I traveled with Aang and the others. We never spent too long in one place, taking down gangs and others who took advantage of villages and the average citizen.

         The group was made up of five people, including me. There was Masha. She had light brown, messy hair and brown eyes. She was like the caretaker. Always asked if we drank water, great cook, sewed our clothes. She sort of reminded me of Katara. She was the only earthbender; and she was a damn good one, too. I hoped to one day introduce her to Toph. Despite having two very different personalities, I wondered if they'd get along.

         Then there was Bono, Masha's twin brother. Same brown hair and brown eyes. He was the quiet, observant type. He liked to keep a journal with him at all times for haikus and to draw landscapes. Unlike his sister, though, Bono wasn't a bender. Instead, he was skilled with the bow and arrow and double swords. His sympathetic nature made it incredibly easy to talk to him, but not as much to joke with.

         Taon was Masha's boyfriend. He was a firebender from the colonies. His reckless and adventurous personality made him incredibly fun to be around. I remember the first night I was with them he woke me up in the middle of the night to go looking for a saber-tooth moose lion; for no reason other than the fun of it. I was convinced that if it weren't for Masha, he would've gotten himself killed in one was or another.

         And lastly, Mulan. Spirits, where do I start. She was no bender, but her fighting was incredible. She mastered many forms in a multitude of weapons, incredibly flexible, strong. A true warrior. She was the unofficial leader of the Miraculous Bastards. Her posture and voice commanded respect and she was always prepared for anything. But she was also so sweet and it was so easy to talk to her. We'd spend hours talking nonsense and laugh at Taon and Masha's bickering.

         But even after a month of knowing her, there was still the feeling of nervousness around her. After meeting her, that feeling of missing something in my life disappeared. It kind of felt like when I had a crush on Zuko, before dating.

         "Alright, everyone! The stew is ready!" Masha grinned happily, pouring the first bowl. I stood from my stop and joined the others around the pot.

         "Masha, this smells incredible." I complimented as I got handed a bowl.

         "Thank you." She accepted the compliment, holding the last field bowl in her hand. "It's the perfect meal for this special occasion."

         "Oh, what's that?" I wondered curiously.

         "Today marks one month since you've been with us." Mulan reminded me with a light nudge. I couldn't help but blush lightly at the touch.

         "Yeah, we're really lucky to have you with us." Bono added.

         "An incredible fighter and an even better friend." Taon lighted his bowl up in the air and cheered. "To Ama!"

         "To Ama!" The others repeated, lifting their bowls up as well.

         I laughed with them and shook my head. "You guys are amazing, But if I'm being honest, I should be the one lucky to have you all. A bunch of rascals who like to beat up bullies? My kind of people." They all laughed at my words. "But really, thank you for letting me join you all."

         "Of course." Masha assured me. "Now, let's eat before this all gets cold."

         I took my spot by the fallen tree to eat. Masha and Taon sat not far from me, starting to engage in their own conversation. Bono didn't like to be disturbed when he was eating and sat further away from us all. And Mulan sat next to me.

         Neither of us said anything at first. We both focused more on the vegetables and the beef in the stew. But we both also wanted to say something to each other.

         "Masha is probably the best cook I've ever come across." Mulan broke the silence and set the finished bowl down beside her. "I remember the first time she cooked for me when we were 16, I tried to convince her to own a restaurant or something."

         "Well, she'd definitely do well." I finished my stew as well and set it on my lap.

         Mulan looked over at the others, seeing that no one was really paying attention to us. "Hey, let's get out of here." She pointed away from camp with her thumb.

         I raised an eyebrow, both in curiosity and confusion. "And go where?"

         She shrugged and made her suggestion. "There's a lake not far from here. I got water from there earlier."

         "Sound fun." I agreed, moving the empty bowl to the ground and standing up. Mulan smiled at me and stood up as well. No one noticed us leave the camp. Which isn't necessarily a problem, we shouldn't be away long.

         I followed the redhead through the trees, listening to the sound of crickets. "Here it is." Mulan announced as we finally arrived at the lake. There wasn't a ton of light tonight because there was only a half moon in the sky. Mulan grinned at me and then took my hand, pulling me with her to the lake. "Check this out."

         She placed her hand in the water and moved it from side to side. The water that moved glowed a bright blue. My jaw dropped at the incredible sight. "Wow." I gasped and dipped my hands into the cold water as well. "How does this happen?"

         "It's a chemical reaction in the algae." Mulan answered. I gave her a curious look, wondering how she knew that. "My parents studied it a little. They were herbalists so they found this stuff interesting."

         "It's incredible." I admired the incredible sight. You truly do learn something new everyday. With a mischievous smirk, I splashed some water at Mulan. The woman gasped in shock as I laughed. She splashed me back, and the droplets fell on my face and chest. "Oh, okay then."

         I bent the glowing water till it was over the redhead. "Ama, no!" She squealed and tried to back up while still on the ground. I dropped the water, drenching her in it. Her hands wiped the water out of her eyes and she gave me a playful glare as I giggled uncontrollably.

         And without warning, Mulan lunged at me. "Ahh!" I shrieked while she pushed us both into the lake. The edge of the lake was still pretty shallow, allowing for us both to sit up and it only reached to our waist. "What the hell?" I laughed.

         "You started it." She retorted. I bit my bottom lip and shook my head at her. I bent some more water to throw at her, but Mulan moved further into the water. "Nuh uh. Sorry, sweetheart but you're gonna have to catch me first."

         I scoffed amusingly while the redhead dove deeper into the water. I took her up on that challenge and followed her in further. She wasn't really trying to outswim me. I caught up to her pretty quickly, tackling her and we both submerged into the lake. The water glowed at all the movement we were making.

         Breaking through the surface, the two of us gasped for air and giggled. Luckily we weren't that deep and could stand. The water ended just above my waist. "I didn't think this through." Mulan muttered, looking down at her soaking clothes.

         "Relax, I can bend the water out of our clothes when we get out." I reminded her and moved closer to her.

         Just for the curiosity of it, I bent the water, moving it from side to side as it glowed. I took it a step further, swirling it around my body and then around Mulan's. The two of us giggled while I slipped the water back in the lake.

         "No matter how often you do that I'm always to mezmerised but it." Mulan looked at me in awe. "Well, it's either that or just the gorgeous woman who's bending the water." I turned to look at her and our eyes met. Her green eyes felt like they were seeing every inch of me. Every insecurity and every flaw. But also every beautiful aspect and everything admirable.

         Neither of us said anything. My eyes looked down at her heart shaped lips. She never painted them, but they still had an orange tint to them. Which I thought was absolutely unique and beautiful.

         Mulan leaned in hesitantly, waiting for me to back away. But I didn't. In fact, I also leaned in. She closed the gap and her soft lip finally met mine. It felt perfect and pure. But just as quickly as it happened, she pulled away and hastily started to trudge through the water.

         "Wait, Mulan!" I called and started to trudge after her. Was the kiss bad? Was I bad?

         "I shouldn't have done that." The woman replied with a distressed tone. She scrunched up her hair, getting the water out and she stepped out of the lake.

         "Why? Was it me?" I wondered. My chest felt heavy with worry that I had just made a complete fool of myself. I was already planning to leave the group. I couldn't stay if it was just going to be awkward.

         "No, no. It wasn't you." Mulan told me.

         "Then what?" I grabbed her wrist to keep her from leaving further.

         She turned around with tears in her eyes and she shook her head. "You were perfect." She started. "You are perfect. I just can't do this to you."

         "What? Do what?" I begged to know.

         "You're a hero, Ama. I can't be the reason you get shunned and rejected by the world." He looked down at her hands to avoid my look. "Like what my parents did to me." It clicked in my mind. Just a moment ago, it felt like it was just me and her. But there's still an entire world that wouldn't be thrilled if two women fell in love. Mulan's parents being one example.

         The thing was. I didn't care. I placed my hand on both sides of Mulan's cheeks, wiping her tears away with my thumbs. "Fuck the world." I told her and shook my head. "This can just stay between us or we can shout it from the rooftops. It doesn't matter. I just don't want to have to reject how I feel about you."

         Mulan raised her head, looking me in the eye again. "And how do you feel about me?" She wondered with a soft smile.

         "With you I feel happy. I feel like I can do anything with you by my side." I told her. "I like you more than a friend."

         Mulan wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me close to her. "I like you more than a friend, too." And we kissed again. It was soft and loving. And, again, it felt perfect. "I can't tell you hold long the others were trying to convince me to make a move." She giggled when she pulled back a little.

         "Did Teon try to give you a pep-talk?" I asked with a humorous smirk.

         "Yeah and then Bono did a better job at it." Mulan responded and the two of us laughed. This felt right. I didn't know in that moment, but it wouldn't last. The feeling of being pure.

.☽☼☾.

Let's go lesbians, lets go! Jk, Ama is a little bi baby. I wanted some background for Ama and Mulan before some more tea! But also cause I love wlw representation and there isn't enough of it. And don't worry everyone cause Zuko is getting some love pretty soon!

Love you all! Hang loose, amigos 🤙🏼

[amydancepants-peralta]

Cliche prompts - 1, 27, 36 or 49 (i really wanted to narrow it down but this list is gold and i'm indecisive so i leave the choice to you :D )

Prompt time!  For this one I decided to combine two of my favourite options - 27 for ‘Help me I’m being hit on at a bar please be my fake boyfriend for a second’, and 16 for ‘I need a date for this wedding’. 

It’s a little longer than I’d intended for a one-shot, but I hope you enjoy!  It’s also on AO3 if you’d prefer to read longer fics there :D 

Kasia & Anon, I hope you enjoy! xx

Suddenly (I’m in love with a stranger) 

There was nothing about this particular Friday night that seemed to set it apart from all the others.  Jake had met Charles at their favourite bar, Shaw’s, and over the course of the night had managed to confirm his title as the Dartboard King of Brooklyn (Shaw’s Edition).  

He had been on his way to the bar, a spring in his step from his newfound title when a cloud of dark hair, brown eyes and curves had run up to him, throwing her hands around his neck and shouting “BABE!  I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE HERE!”.

Arms wrapping around her as he absorbed the impact of her body crashing into his, Jake’s brows had furrowed in confusion as the Mystery Woman twisted her head towards his, whispering into his ear - “There’s a guy over there that won’t stop hitting on me and I told him you were my boyfriend, please please PLEASE go along with it!”   

Her breath had felt warm against his skin, and her body fit perfectly against his.  And without a second thought, Jake had tightened his grip around her, loudly answering, “Uhh .. hey babe, hey!  So glad you found me!”  In an instant, he can feel the tension leave her body.

She tucks her head into the base of his neck, giving the illusion of a tender kiss to his shoulder, and Jake turns his gaze to the bar in front of them.   A greasy skinned man with overlong hair is watching the two of them, lips curled in contempt as he stared.  Jake takes the opportunity to glare back, narrowing his eyes in a silent threat as he tightens his grip again, turning his head to whisper into the woman’s ear - “Just stay where you are - I’ll give you the all-clear when he’s gone.”

He feels her nod against his shoulder, and Jake pulls his eyes back to Mr Creep.  He’s shaking his head this time, the eye-roll obvious even through the crowded bar, and he skulks off in search for the next prey.

Jake’s hands move to the woman’s waist, pulling away slightly as he speaks, eyes still trained on the room.  “Okay, you’re good.  He’s moved on.”

A voice filled with gratitude cuts through the white noise of the bar, louder now that she isn’t tucked into his neck.  “Thank you so much, you’re a lifesaver.”  His eyes turn to the woman still in his arms, and in an instant, he feels his heart stop.  She was beautiful.  

When he was younger, Jake had picked up a book that once belonged to his mother, long since ‘borrowed’ by Gina. The cover had been adorned with a vivid illustration of a muscle-bound man clad in a ripped shirt, hovering next to a woman that, even years later, could only be described in his memory as a siren.  Dark flowing hair, soft supple lips, and eyes that pierced through the cover.  To the teenage minded Jake, this character had become the Ultimate Example of the perfect woman - the kind of beauty drawn only from the imagination of an author - never to be discovered in real life.

(The book’s contents, on the other hand, had made him gag with its overly sappy words.  How Gina read them, he would never understand.)

There had never been the expectation that one day Jake would meet such a woman.  But, hand on heart, he would swear on his life that such a woman had appeared in front of him tonight.

And he was definitely staring.  

She raises her brows, eyes beginning to turn wary, and he realises that his arms are still around her.  He can feel the heat begin to burn his skin as he flushes, pulling away with a start and running his hand across the back of his neck in embarrassment.  Part of him can still feel her tucked into his side, and he feels strangely empty now without her there.

“Uh, sorry … I just … ahh … are you okay?”  Why is talking suddenly outside of his grasp?

She smiles, revealing a row of perfectly white teeth, and Jake’s heart skips a beat.  “Yeah.  I’m fine.  Seriously, thank you.  I don’t normally do that, but he wouldn’t stop talking to me.  I could feel him watching me when I got up and I saw you and I just … “ her hands flail in the air, trying to find the words to describe her situation.  He nods, and her hands lower again.  

“Anyway.  I’m sorry if I startled you.  You were really good, though.  At playing the boyfriend.  I hope I haven’t disrupted your night too much.”

“Not at all.  I just hope your actual boyfriend won’t mind me walking in his shoes for a minute there.”

She shakes her head in a rapid motion.  “No, no boyfriend.  I’m not here with anyone tonight.”

Jake’s heart skips another beat.

“Wow.  I answered that really quickly, didn’t I?” she continues, pulling back her hair as her face begins to blush.  “I just meant that I was supposed to be meeting my friend Kylie here but I think she’s flaking on me, and I was watching this thing on Dateline the other day about how there are some men who seek out the single woman at the bar as their ultimate prize only the prize isn’t anything except the woman’s naked body being dumped in the woods somewhere so you’ve probably just saved my life for real and oh god I’m rambling aren’t I?”

He laughs, instantly terrified that he’s hurt her feelings, and visibly relaxes when she begins to laugh with him.  It was an amazing laugh, too.  The kind he could listen to forever.

(Wait …. when did FOREVER come into the picture, Peralta?  Who’s the creepy guy now?)

Clearing his throat, Jake runs a hand through his hair before speaking.  “Listen, you’re more than welcome to come and hang out with me and my buddy Charles for the night.  No strings, I promise -” he interjects as he watches the hesitation form in her eyes.  “We’re just two guys playing dartboard.  We’re both detectives for the 99th precinct, shooting off some steam from a case, and to the best of our knowledge we’ve never been put in the Creepy Guy Category.”

Her eyes light up, and it’s his new favourite thing to watch.  “You’re a detective?  I’ve just joined the academy.  I’d love to hear some pointers!”

He beams.  “Right this way, m’lady.”

* * *

The Mystery Woman, as it turned out, was called Amy.  (Amy.  How had he never noticed how beautiful the name AMY was before?!)  And she had just completely robbed him of his title of Dartboard King.  

And the thing is - she hadn’t just beat him at the game.  She’d annihilated him.  Completely kicked his ass.  And he’d be lying if he’d said that he didn’t find it incredibly sexy.

“Alright Jake, hand over the title!” Amy declared, hands raised in victory as she smiled over at him.

Slumping his shoulders, Jake hung his head briefly, trying to hide his smile as he reached towards the nearby booth.  Quickly grabbing something and hiding it behind his back, he returned to Amy, no longer attempting to conceal his joy.

“Wait a minute, I just beat you.  You shouldn’t be smiling.  Why are you smiling?  Charles, why is he smiling?”

“Your majesty,” Jake announced before Charles could interrupt, “I present to you … your crown.”  He releases his hands with a flourish, revealing a gaudy gold toy crown.

“Wait … what?  How?  You actually had a crown this whole time?”

“Nah.  Those guys over there are having a bucks night, and I managed to convince one of them to give me theirs.”

She looks over at him, eyes wide with wonder, and for a moment he forgets his own name.  “Still.  That was really sweet of you.”

Truth be told, he’d been hoping to wear it when he’d beat her at the game, to take a victory lap and remind her of the rightful King.  Turns out, it had belonged to the Queen this whole time.  He shrugs his shoulders, not ready to admit how happy it made him to see her so happy, holding out the crown with two hands as he places it onto her head.

Amy beams up at him, proud in all her splendour, and Jake never wants the night to end.  He never thought he’d be grateful for the presence of a creepy guy at a bar, and yet … here he was.  

It didn’t help that she had the kind of warm brown eyes that drew him in, regardless of the conversation.  It didn’t help, that her smile always seemed to settle in the surprise location of right beside his heart.  And it certainly didn’t help that within twenty minutes of them hanging out, Charles had leaned over to Jake and loudly whispered - “This is it, Jakey!  She’s the one!  Your dream girl!  I can tell!”

He’d shrugged his best friend off with a vehement shake of his head, because everything that he had said was completely insane (except that maybe it wasn’t).  She was beautiful, yes, and incredibly intelligent.  In the last hour she had repeated more NYPD codes than he and Charles, the actual cops, knew put together.  They talked and laughed and drank and danced as though they had known each other for years, not hours, and he found himself watching her lips as she spoke, wondering if they would feel as soft as they looked.  Or if her hands would curl perfectly against his own.

But still, he hesitated.  The whole reason they’d even met was so that she could escape being hit on by another guy.  Hitting on her now would be a total douche move.  

“This has turned into the BEST night, you guys.  Seriously, I can’t thank you enough.”  She smiled over at him, crown slightly askew as she takes another sip of her drink, and Jake looks at the tiny flowers that run along her blouse.  He would find a garden filled with the same, and pick them all for her, if it meant he’d see that smile again.  

She continues, unaware of Jake’s musings.  “You totally saved me from that dude.  If there’s anything I can ever do to return the favour, you name it and I’ll be there.”

He’s already in the process of shaking his head at Amy’s kind offer when Charles interjects, putting on a coy smile as he calmly states - “I have an idea.”  He turns his head sharply to his best friend, eyes wide with concern at what kind of hare-brained scheme was about to be unleashed.

“Wait … this isn’t going to be some weird dare situation, is it?  Because I swore to myself that I would never streak through the bar.  Not after last time.”

Jake’s head turns back towards Amy, picking up on what she’d just admitted, but before he can even begin the line of questions forming, Charles pipes up again, this time announcing “No, nothing like that.  Jake is going to a wedding next Thursday, and he doesn’t have a date.  You should do it.  You should be his date.”

Swinging his whole body back to Charles, Jake nearly ends up with whiplash as he stares his friend down.  “Charles.  Don’t be crazy.  Amy, you don’t have to do that.”

“But … I want to do it.”

He turns back towards Amy, starting to feel like a spectator in a tennis match, and sets his gaze solely on her.  “Seriously.  You don’t owe me anything.”

Her eyes widen, and the tips of her ears begin to turn read as she takes a step back.  “Unless you don’t want me there …”

“No.  Wait.  That’s not what I meant.”

“It’s okay, Jake.  I get it.  You’ve probably got someone …”

“He doesn’t!  He’s totally single.”

“Charles!”

His heart begins pounding, and tries not to take hope from the smile that has returned to her face.  Biting her lip, she shrugs.  “Jake, let me help you.  It’s just a wedding.  It kinda sounds like fun.  If all else fails, there’s always the open bar.”

He watches her intently, trying to determine if she was still offering only out of obligation.  Truth be told, the idea of spending another night with her, regardless of the circumstance, was incredibly appealing.  

“So, it’s decided!”  Charles interrupts, stepping between them and throwing one around each of their shoulders.  “Dianetti wedding, here we come!”  

“CHARLES!”

* * *

Amy pulls in another breath, wincing as her ribs groan in protest.  She honestly couldn’t remember another night where she had laughed as much as she had tonight.  And it was entirely Jake Peralta’s fault.

Okay, technically, it was probably hers.  She had been the one, after all, that had run all batshit crazy into his unsuspecting arms, babbling about creepy guys and fake boyfriends.  Without that, their paths probably wouldn’t have ever crossed.  But oh, how glad she was that they had. 

As they had left the bar she had been complaining about her shoes – still too new to be worn all night (a rookie error on her end) - and Jake’s offer of a piggyback ride home had been met with more laughter.  Until he had lifted her, and that feeling of safe and home washed over her again, and before she knew it she was being carried home in her very own chariot.  His hands never strayed from the back of her knees, ever the gentleman holding her tight as he walked down the street, and when he laughed the vibrations ran through his back and straight to her heart.

He had just been such a shiny beacon of hope in that seedy bar, and his arms had felt so warm around her.  So willing to help a stranger, and so welcoming afterwards.  He was handsome, with his distinctive profile, and had a smile that made her a little weak.  And for the past hour, she had been trying desperately not to think about what it would be like to kiss him.  They had talked all night, about everything and nothing, and Amy couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the start of something much bigger than themselves.  She wanted to get to know him, in any way that he would let her, and the sheer insanity of going to a wedding of two people she didn’t even know, just to spend another night with him, didn’t escape her.  

He’s nearing her apartment now and she leans down to him, cheek brushing against his as she moves.  A countless number of tingles run straight down her spine, and she takes a deep breath in, absorbing his cologne with a soft sigh.  She was starting to feel more than a little bit smitten with this stranger.  Mistaking her sigh as one of disapproval, he cranes his neck slightly to catch her from the corner of his eye.  “Oh, my cologne is probably a little too strong.  Sorry.” His hands lower slightly, releasing his grip as he squats down, letting her feet hit the pavement before straightening.

“No!  Don’t be.  It’s good.” She stammered, averting her eyes as she fights the urge to blush.  Again.  Really good, actually.  Amy rests her hand on his arm as she steadies herself, and as she turns back to him she can see him take in a deep breath.  In a moment of confidence, she keeps her hand there.  “I know I’ve said this already, but thank you for tonight.  You made it so much better than I could ever have planned.”  

He nods, smiling so softly that all the other thoughts she’d been trying to cloud her mind with disappeared.  She feels the mood shift, and finds herself shuffling closer to him.  It’s moments like these that make her grateful that telepathy isn’t a thing, because if it was, all he would be able to hear right now was kiss me kiss me kiss me … oh please, kiss me.

“Hey listen, you need to know - I didn’t mean to sound like I didn’t want you to come with me to the wedding back there.  I want you to be there.  If you do, that is.”

She nods, not trusting herself to speak, and he smiles down at her (she doesn’t even mind the height difference, she’s such a goner).  Amy cranes her neck upwards, mirroring his smile with her own.  Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.   They draw closer.

A car carrying drunk guys (that sound suspiciously like the group of bucks they just left behind at the bar) drive past, honking the horn as two lean out the window, singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of their lungs.  Jake pulls back with a start, and just like that the moment is gone.

No!

The regret is obvious in his eyes, but still Jake takes another step away from her.  “Ah, I guess this is goodnight, Amy.  I’ll text you about the wedding, okay?”  Before she can even speak, he’s turned in the other direction, and she remains standing on the sidewalk with only her confusion for company.

What the hell just happened?

* * * 

It had been six days since that evening at the bar, and Amy sat at a well-decorated table at the wedding reception, hands fiddling with the handmade jewellery each guest had received as favours.  

She was fairly certain that she had just born witness to one of the most elaborate - and fabulous - weddings in history.  A perfect combination of sugar and spice, which appeared to be the best way to describe the newlyweds Gina and Rosa.  Jake had given her a quick rundown of their history as they had made their way to the ceremony earlier today, and Amy could tell from the pride on his face as he spoke that these two women were very important to him.  

Dropping the jewellery, her hands reached for her cellphone, swiping through to her photo album and stopping on the selfie that her and Jake had taken earlier that evening.  Her intention was to post it, adhering to the ‘Don’t Forget To Tag #dianetti In All Your Pics’ rule that had been posted at every table.  Instead, she found herself staring at the photo of the two of them, eyes raking over Jake’s smiling face.

Over the last few days, her phone had become filled with endless conversations between her and Jake.  She had been relieved, to say the least, that the ease between them had not been a result of alcohol.  Instead, they were fast becoming friends.  

The thing was … she didn’t want to just be friends.  Not with Jake.  His handsome face filled her thoughts whenever her day grew quiet, and when she closed her eyes, she could still remember the feeling of his warm arms around hers.  He made sense to her, which was completely insane.  He made her laugh.  But the craziest part, out of all of this, was how much she could feel herself falling for him already.

A now familiar voice breaks into her thoughts, calling out “Ames!” and she looks up with a bright smile.  Ames.  His nickname for her, born somewhere between day three and day five, and absolutely her new favourite way to hear her name.  

His face was flushed, fresh from giving each bride a turn on the dance floor.  His smile, as bright as hers, made her heart skip several beats, and she wondered if her infatuation was as obvious as it felt.    

“I’m going to grab a drinks for the both of us, and then you and I are going to tear apart that dance floor.  Sound like a plan?”

She nods quickly, praying that her makeup holds strong against the blush that was beginning to spread across her face, and throws him a steady smile.  Oh god, he was going to see her dance.  This was going to be over before it even begun.

Somehow, he reads her reaction, casting a dismissive hand towards the crowd.  “Don’t worry about them, Ames.  You and I are going to DANCE.”

Okay, yeah.  She was definitely falling for him.

* * *

Jake waits patiently at the bar, fingers tapping absentmindedly against the wood panelling as he waits for the bartender to fill his order.  He was beyond impatient to head back to Amy.  There hadn’t been any mention of another night after this (hell, he wasn’t even sure if this was a date or not), and he wanted to spend every possible moment with her.

Out of his peripheral, Jake watches Charles approach.  Work commitments had reduced their chances to speak to each other for the past week, and Jake knew that his friend had been dying to know the details of him and Amy.

“So?  Did you guys kiss, or what?”  Good old Charles, always known for his tact.

Already regretting his answer, Jake looks over at Charles before shaking his head.

“What!?  Jacob!”  he shouts, slapping a heavy hand against his chest bone.

“Ow!  What was that for?”

“You save a beautiful woman, a literal damsel in distress, flirt with each other all night then walk her home, and you DON’T end up kissing her?  You’re a lost cause, Jake.”  This time a punch to the shoulder.

“This feels a little uncalled for.  And for what it’s worth, Amy has never been a damsel in distress.”

“No way.  You’ve got something amazing in the palm of your hands, and you know it.  And I’m not going to stand by and watch you let it slip away.  Not a chance.”

Jake rolls his eyes, shaking his head as he turns his attention to the glasses the bartender had just placed on the bar in front of him.  He had no idea why he’d run away so quickly the other night.  He’d wanted to kiss her, more than anything.  Heck, it was almost a week later, and he was still dreaming about kissing her.  She was everything that he could hope for in a woman, and for some inexplicable reason she wanted to hang out with him.  

He turns, leaning his weight against the bar as he faces the reception hall, zeroing in on the woman in question.  Watching her walk towards him earlier today, in that little red dress of hers, had nearly given him a coronary.  She was literally the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and he’d been so proud to walk into the wedding with her beside him.  His arms itched to hold her, and he’d daydreamed doing so several times already today.  He was definitely falling for her.  And it completely terrified him.

“The stakes are through the roof for me on this one, Boyle.”  It was the truth.  She made him feel things.  And not just sexually (although, those feelings were definitely there).  It was more than that.  She was kind, and brilliant, and made him feel like even his most baseless conversations were worth listening to.  He felt important with her - and even though she was still technically just a line above a stranger to him, he was finding it difficult to imagine a life without her in it.  It sounded insane, but he simply didn’t care.   

“It’s just … what if I screw this up?  This girl is amazing.  And if I end up doing something stupid …”

“Jake.  You have to stop assuming that everything is going to fail.  Sometimes, things just work out.  And you’re never going to find out, if you don’t give this thing a try.  She looks at you like you hung the moon.  Trust me.”

Jake nods, heart somewhere up near his throat as he takes in Boyle’s words.  Maybe he was right.  Maybe, this time it was his turn to find happiness.

* * * 

The lights are soft, and an inexplicable cloud of smoke begins to surround the two of them as they circle the dance floor.  Jake smiles as his eyes take in the scene - it wouldn’t be Gina Linetti’s wedding if there weren’t several smoke machines involved.

A hand shifts on his shoulder, and Jake turns back to the woman in front of him.  The woman whom (no offence to the two brides, but facts were facts) was easily the most beautiful woman in the room.  

Amy smiles at him, that soft shy smile he’d been greeted with the night they met.  His heart was beginning to feel like a hummingbird’s wings, and he had no interest in slowing it down anymore.  

“You know, standing here, dancing to all these songs … I can’t help but feel like I’m a character in every rom-com I’ve ever seen.”

“Ah.  Yes, that would be Rosa’s doing.  She has a not-so-secret love for all things Nancy Meyers.”

“Rosa, my love for you is sharper than my favourite knife, Rosa?”

He laughs as Amy quotes the woman’s vows verbatim.  “Yep, that’s her.”

She giggles, a sweet sound that he wants to hear forever, and it occurs to Jake that the risk of losing her was greater than any risk that came with taking a chance.  

His forehead drops to hers, both of their feet simply shuffling against the beat of the music as the act of dancing becomes second priority.  Her arms, now looped around his neck, tighten imperceptibly and he reciprocates by pulling her waist just that little bit closer to his.  She hums, taking in a deep breath, and whispers within their close proximity,  “I’m really glad I came tonight.”

“I’m really glad I came tonight, title of your sex tape.”

She laughs, tucking her head into his neck as her shoulders continue to shake.  “Oh, how you make me laugh, Jake.”

He rests his cheek against the side of her head, closing his eyes in contentment for a moment before breaking the silence.  “Hey, Ames?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really glad you came tonight, too.”

She raises her head, skin brushing against his as she refuses to widen the gap between them.  Her gaze looks onto his, eyes big and bright, and if it wasn’t for his steady breaths Jake would be certain that his heart had completely stopped beating.

Moving one hand from her waist, Jake cups her face in his palm, keeping the touch feather light as his thumb brushes along her jawline, tipping her mouth towards his.  Her breath hitches, and before he can scare himself away, he leans in to brush his lips against hers.

She sighs softly against him, breath warm against his lips, and when he begins to pull away she pushes her face towards him again, capturing him in a kiss that threw all doubts out the window.

This was The Kiss.  The kind of kiss that people wrote songs about, or wrote about in fairytales.  It was the kind of kiss that you held onto, for years to come, the memory of it never fading.  It was the kind of kiss that spelled out forever, and it was killing him that he could have had this six whole days ago, if he hadn’t been so damned chicken.  

Her fingers card into his hair, feeling as though they’ve belonged there the entire time, and he moans softly into her mouth as their tongues begin to tangle together, both still so shy but so very eager for more.  

His hands begin to roam, sliding up and down her back as he pulls her impossibly closer, breathing in her perfume as the feeling of Amy in his arms settles all the nerves that had been building inside.  This was it for him.  He can’t explain how he knew, but he knew.  

“I swear to God herself Jacob, if you upstage me at my own wedding with a porno on the dance floor, I will never forgive you.”  The unmistakeable voice of Gina Linetti pulls him from the trance of Amy’s kiss, and Jake pulls away reluctantly, rolling his eyes at his oldest friend as she glares over at him.  

“Not one for the dramatics are you, Gina?  Relax,” he continues as she stares him down.  “No porn on the dance floor.  Got it.”  His tone is dripping with sarcasm, one arm wrapped around the back of Amy’s neck as her face remains tucked into his shoulder, clearly mortified at being caught mid-makeout.  Gina throws him another withering stare, raising her eyebrows before being pulled away by her newly-wedded wife.  

“The coast is clear,” Jake whispers into Amy’s ear, fingers tangling into the curls at the base of her neck as she stays tucked into his side.

“Hmm, this feels a little bit like deja-vu,” she answers, leaning forward to land a soft kiss on his lips before pulling back with a smile.  Her arms drop from Jake’s neck, sliding against his jacket until her hands are resting on the lapels, toying with the button on one side.  She looks up at him with a coy smile, and if Jake wasn’t already in deep, it would have sunk him completely.  

“So, given the rules just laid out to us …”

“Wanna get out of here?”

She nods, a cascade of giggles bubbling out of her chest, and Jake leans in for another kiss.

“Absolutely.” 

[nelior2187]

https://my.w.tt/9vsMQdSal5

[01] BB8 told me...

This is my fist Shipping Oneshot which I wrote and also the first one basing on a Song, which I found while looking a fan made video.

Song: I hate you, I love you - gnash

Words: (without Intro/outro) 5’563 words

★★★★★★★★★★★

Feeling used but I'm still missing you

And I can't see the end of this

Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips

Across the hangar, there he stands. Talking with some of the other pilots of the resistance. Again, I caught myself starring at him, while BB8 tries to remind me, that I forget to check the adjustments I just made. This was the third time today, I starred at my Crush and I hope nobody noticed. Yeah, he is just my crush. Some of my colleagues asked me if we were already dating, but no. We don’t. So many times, I tried to make out what he was thinking, if he liked me the way I like him of if he likes someone else. His face is a mystery for me and still, I want it in my hands, his lips on mine. A second time, BB8 gets me out of my thoughts with loud noises and reminds me, that it’s already time to eat lunch. „Thanks, Buddy! “, I muttered, shortly before leaving my work for the little break.

And now all this time is passing by

But I still can't seem to tell you why

It hurts me every time I see you

Realize how much I need you

I was on my way to the canteen, when I saw him again. His perfect face in the crowd. Even when I try to ignore him, I still see him through the people like a hunter its prey. Normally, I sit with my colleagues, but after the last battle, many of them are dead so the rest of us looks for new groups to join up with. I didn’t even have the chance to look somewhere for my pilots. Rey waves at me enthusiastic and smiling over both ears, next to her my love, Finn. My face went a little bit red as I walked by the other resistance fighters and sat down. My plan was to sit as far as I could get from my friends, to save them from my emotions, but Rey disagrees. She puts, using the force, my food right between her and Finn. I try to smile happy but somehow, I got sad. Sad that even this little gesture of friendship won’t fill the hole in me. The hole created by Finn being interested in other people, kissing them – yeah, he told us.

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to but I can't put

Nobody else above you

The first thing Rey did after I sat down, was hugging me shortly. After that she started talking about all the new jedi tricks she learned in the forests and how much fun she had with the adventures on her own. While Finn was interacting with her, I just sat there and ate slowly or better didn’t ate my food. It tasted awesome but somehow, I couldn’t enjoy it. Just a few minutes after I sat down, I wanted to bring my food in the trash. Rey’s mood went from happy and laughing to worried and sad. „Got a headache… “, was my answer before I left. I kind of regretted the harsh and annoyed voice I used for it, but there was no going back now. The pain, to be right next to him but can’t have him was too big. I thought about how to love someone else to get away from Finn, but there was, after many trying, no other man, who I could love more than my one and only.

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

As I was about to go back to BB8, I remember that it was still lunch time and I didn’t even waste five minutes. I didn’t want to be surrounded by people right now, so I walked back to work. Like I thought, there was no one right now. Finally, I’m alone with my thoughts. I know about Finn and Rose and this morning Rose told me everything that happened. We accidentally met outside of the base and walked together through the forest, talking about updates and exchanged stories. When we came to the topic Finn, she told me that they had something and that she probably lost him to Rey. In my eyes it totally did fit. They hang out in all the free time we get and when Rey does train in the woods he stays mostly alone, except for BB8, who is visiting him sometimes. Now I don’t have any chance anymore. There is just the awesome and famous Rey, the Jedi, or me, a pilot. Who he did choose was clear already.

I miss you when I can't sleep

Or right after coffee

Or right when I can't eat

Nobody was in the hallways, fascinating. I got my bottle with some space soda and brought it back to the Hangar, where BB8 was already waiting for me I start my work with a fake smile and no enthusiasm, always having Finn on my mind and permanently making mistakes. After all the time which I have spent with the robot together, I think he knows what’s in my mind. The way he watches everything I do and always reminding me when I do something wrong, but not in an aggressive way, more like a calm buddy, who just wants to help a little bit. In the corner of my eye I see Finn and Rey walking across the hallway from the canteen into the other direction. I don’t want to know what they want to do now. I’m slightly getting more and more angry over me and my stupidity, that I want something from the Ex-Stormtrooper and especially over my way of acting. BB8 makes one of many sounds, which I understand as the questioning for a flight. „Awesome idea, buddy. Then let’s get you in there! “, I said and just a minute later we start the Xwing.

I miss you in my front seat

Still got sand in my sweaters

From nights we don't remember

The seat behind me was empty. The sad truth behind me and the high forest in front of me. I don’t even notice that my speed was too fast for save flying over the station, I just keep flying circles over the heads of the resistance. BB8 did not said anything after leaving the hangar and that’s good that way. I just want to calm down and to be in the air helped me always. I hear over the coms in the background that some of the pilots want to make a new route for the training, that some of the medics need more equipment and that the new General was doing something new but didn’t got what. I don’t care about that all right now because when someone wants something from me, they had to wait for me. Out of nothing a Voice cuts through all of the talking like a live though warm butter. Finn, he asked about someone, who he is missing. I ignore it, even with the hope that he meant me and cared about me, but I was not missing, so the person wasn’t me. I laughed about my own stupidity, that he would do that for me in this situation.

Do you miss me like I miss you?

Messed around and got attached to you

Friends can break your heart too

And I'm always tired but never of you

In my head flying the daydreams. What if Finn never met Rey? What if he didn’t kissed Rose? What if we were better friends? Are we even friends anymore? I don’t even know who my friends are next to BB8 and my Xwing. I never got close to the surviving pilots of the resistance. I had with some of them One night stands but the ones I was together with are already killed by the first order. The rest of them are not my close friends. We work together and help each other, but I’ve never gotten more out of that, than just friendship. I spend so much time with just being with Finn somewhere, that I forgot to resist him. I never had the feeling that it was too much what I did. That i would just run after him and I would still do it all day, just to become his number one and not just someone. We were all the time together and it was the best time of my live until somehow something happened, and we broke apart. I got sad, broken by my crush.

If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit

I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit

I type a text but then I 'never mind' that shit

I got these feelings but you never mind that shit

Hours went by and I was patrolling over the whole continent, trying to help the other pilots with finding a training route though as many different grounds as possible. I already found one, but I want to be sure to have a good one. BB8 already reminded me that I should have said something to the base, and that they will worry about me if I stay to long away, but I responded with „it’s no war anymore. “And „What should happen out here. “. After another hour my Xwing showed me with a lot of noises, that I needed to refill the tank, or we would crash. Too bad that I was right now over the sea and outside of the map, so I don’t know where the next ground is or if I can get back to the base in time. I decided to fly back, hoping to reach the ground before I fall from the sky, but I see that I wouldn’t make it. So, my last option is to call for help. I activate the microphone on my helmet and wait a few seconds. The voices are panicking in my headset and screaming something about someone who is gone missing, again. I say with a breaking but loud voice into the microphone: „Here Dameron, I need a Patrolling team over here. Now! “and turned both off.

Oh oh, keep it on the low

You're still in love with me but your friends don't know

If you wanted me you would just say so

And if I were you, I would never let me go

I saw the other Xwings after a half hour flying over the ocean without any land in sight of land. I already did write a goodbye message for Finn on my data pad, if I wouldn’t survive that stupid idea. The others get fast closer and I ask over com: „I’m extremely low on fuel and I have information for the Resistance on board. “. They accepted this lie without asking back, I am surprised. It took just a few minutes and the other Xwing pilots pumped some of their fuel in my tank while flying. That was something we teach each other all the time, so we had no problem. But after they helped me, they didn’t go back to the base the report, they stayed with me and escorted me back to the station. Somehow it felt like a convoy for transporting a criminal. I didn’t feel good, being all the time watched by all the other pilots of the resistance. Probably they think a lot of bad things about me after their best pilot just begged for help. An easy prey for the mean ones.

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to, but I can't put

Nobody else above you

Under us is this big blue ocean, turning to green and black. The sun from the backside and the shadow of the Xwings in front of me on the water. In the knowing, that the other pilots don’t want to talk to me right now, I did turn the commlink of and opened the channel to my robot. “Do you got the Information’s I talked about for the ground around here?”- “Beeb”- “Okay, that’s good, did you notice anything special? Like a Cave high enough or a good place in the woods for another base?”- “Beeb”- “And you got the routes for the training group?”- “Beeb”- “That’s awesome, at least something I can show up when I come back home. You good back there?”- “Beeb”- “Then is everything good. Talk to you later, buddy.”, I turn the communicator of and just look over the Ocean. This much water… I would have never made it alive back home. I would have dropped into the water before I even see land in front of me. Now I’m kind of happy to call the patrolling group. Our Area isn’t that small, and they still needed over a half hour to get to me.

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

At the horizon I could nearly see sand and the begin of a forest. Finally, Land in sight. I think about what will happen back at the base when I come home with a convoy. Some could think that I wanted to desert, flee from the base because of murder or worse. I actually don’t really care what the people in the resistance think about me, they are not allowed to attack or kill me when I didn’t do anything. I don’t want to think about it, but my thoughts go straight back to Finn and Rey. Are they together or not? Do they care? Am I still a friend to them, or just a member of the resistance? Just a Pilot who is replaceable? I have enough of those thoughts, so I decide to join the group chatting over commlink and headset. They just talked about a newbie who made a lot of mistakes and lead to a lot of funny stories. They were mostly hilarious, so I laughed for myself, enjoying the voices in my Headset and the relaxing feeling resulting. It all went back to stress when we got in our Area.

I don't mean no harm

I just miss you on my arm

Wedding bells were just alarms

Caution tape around my heart

Back at the resistance base BB8 took over the control and landed the ship safely, because I was too tired and exhausted to do anything. I mutter: „Thanks, Bud. “to the bot, before I leave the Xwing and the Hanger. Many people look over at me, but I ignore them skillfully. It’s already dark outside and I am tired, what made the ignoring easier. I walk past the other members and into my room, where I just fall in the bed without even changing or doing something. I met Finn somewhere in the hallway but ignored him and Rey with a sunken head, hanging shoulders and a slow walk. But right now, I couldn’t care for anyone. My brain is burning from all the love I feel and the rejection I always get back. I don’t want to hurt my friends, but they are better without me right now. They should have their fun and I won’t disturb them. 

You ever wonder what we could have been?

You said you wouldn’t, and you did

Lie to me, lie with me, get your fix

Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all mixed

The next morning, I wake up in the full fly outfit laying on top of my bed and with a big headache. My eyes filled with old tears and swollen from the night. „Fuck" I hate it when I look like that, because everyone is asking me why my eyes look like shit. I have luck that I wasn’t too late for Breakfast. I laid my data pad on my bed and left the room in a hurry. I tried to avoid people on my way into the canteen, but I never had such thing as luck. I ran in Finn and Rey, which were discussing loudly, which made my headache even worse. I got grumpier than I wanted to be seen. Both get silent as I walk past them in direction of the cafeteria. Rey tried to follow me and said things like: „Where were you? What took you so long? Is something wrong? Talk to me! “I just turn around and say a single: „No! “, before I walked away from the worried faces of Finn and Rey. I just can’t talk to them right now. I’m too weak for that.

Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing

Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance

„Here.“, I put carefully the new data pad BB8 stole for me on the table and open the files for the new training tracks and for the many places where different buildings could be placed, so that the whole planet would be colonized by the resistance and their families. The Impression was high in my counterpart’s eyes. „Where did you get that from? That’s all big help for our plans. You’ve done a lot for us. Tell me, how did you get them? “- „I was just flying around. BB8 did scan all the things because I was too busy. “, I could stop me from talking about Finn. The pilots on my table start to grin and another resistance fighter appears at our table. He asked me, like he would know what his friends were thinking: „And, how is your best buddy? Who was it, Finn? “- „Why don’t you ask him? “Confusion is written on his face: „I thought you were close, and I got something for him from the general. He just said that it’s for your best friend. “- „Okay I'll bring it for you. Something else I can do for you? “- „No, that’s all. See you around. “He puts a data pad like a secret message on the table and walks casually of. 

When love and trust are gone

I guess this is moving on

Everyone I do right does me wrong

So, every lonely night, I sing this song

I say goodbye to the two pilots with waving at them and leave the cafeteria after I threw my trash away. My first checkpoint is the place where I saw Finn and Rey the last time, but they were not there anymore. So, I had the choice to decide between going back to the cafeteria and hoping they’d be there or looking for Finn in his room. I decide for the second option after hearing the bell, which calls us to work in the morning. I know exactly how I can find Finns place because I’ve been there many times and I was never brave enough to knock or ask if I could come in. I dream often how much it would smell like Finn in there. And now I have a good Reason to be close to him again. A lot of Adrenaline pumps through my veins the more the closer I get to his room. What would he say? Would he let me in? Am I still friend enough to be allowed there? Is Rey with him? I hope not.

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to, but I can't put

Nobody else above you

His Door is an inch open and Finn himself is nowhere to be found so I sneak in his room and put the data pad right next to the commlink on his Table. Would I haven’t turned around I would never have seen the two pads laying on his bed. One of them showed a map of the base which I found out when I lifted it. His and my rooms were circled, and a line connected them. The other pad was mine. And my pad was showing the goodbye message I wrote on the flight yesterday. Now, when I read it again it sounds a lot sadder, than it should have, and I was just talking about my death and not how much I loved him. That way it would be probably better. Maybe did BB8 told him that something was of, but I hope he didn’t. No one else knew about this. Still, my biggest mistake was leaving it in my room. I got scared what Finn or Rey will do, when they think of me now. I need to leave, now. 

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

I leave the room in high speed and about to get into the Hangar, but some pilots and fighters stood in front of the doorway and ran in my direction, after they saw me. My brain was blank, and I wanted just to get out of the base. Only a: “Fuck” left my Mouth. Outside of the Base were two old speeders and some scrap. Nothing usable for me right now so I ran into the forest. I had still my full pilot costume on, what I noticed in surprise. Even without being notified through commlink, BB8 still know that I need him right now and the ship landed a few hundred yards from my position. What I didn’t know was that Rey was already waiting for me, following the Xwing out of the Hangar. I heard her Voice screaming “Stop!” I turned and tripped over something. I stand up and run the path deeper in the forest before I got sawn by someone. It’s sunrise by now. Exhausted I arrive on a ledge where forest and cliff meet and where I get a perfect view over the base.

All alone I watch you watch her

Like she's the only girl you've ever seen

You don't care you never did

You don't give a damn about me

In the middle of the little stone circle is a fireplace. I remember showing this place to Finn once. Back then when we were friends and I could hide my feelings. Captured in old memories I stare into the distant. I let the time pass by and stand up after one and a half hour to get back to the base, hoping that I won’t be treated as a bad guy or worse but what should happen to me. I’m just a pilot who was just in a bad place. I can’t lose anything at all because I have nothing. Finn has Rey and the resistant has each other. I am alone. Except of course for BB8 but this robot is much liked by everyone. My decision stands. I go back and don’t run anymore. It is weird for me, that I first run and then go back without even having done nothing wrong. I grin because of my stupidity and my failure to interact with others like a normal Human being.

Yeah all alone I watch you watch her

She's the only thing you've ever seen

How is it you never notice

That you are slowly killing me

I hear steps behind me, the direction where I came. I turn around, my Blaster ready to fire ant already aiming. I would have expected everyone else, even Rose, coming though the bushes but it was Rey. The one and only for Finn, so I put the blaster away, before I could hurt her, or Finn would try to kill me and that were not my intensions. She put her lightsaber away and stepped a little away from the gab in the bushes. Her follows the one and only Person I did not want to be here right now: Finn. I was to perplex that I couldn’t move a muscle while Finn runs over to me and nearly nocks me down with his hug. A magical Moment for me. All my emotions flow out of me which I held successfully back for so long. First it was just a Tear but shortly after that I hugged Finn back like I would never let him go and started to cry. Because of what? I don’t know. I just want all the pain to go away.

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to but I can't put

Nobody else above you

It took me longer than I expected to calm down. I didn’t want to let Finn go, just a familiar Voice behind him and Rey made me look up. It was just the one Pilot from today on the breakfast table who gave me the data pad. I nod in his direction and he replies through waving shortly. Rey’s face is filled with a friendly and happy smile same as Finn’s face. My colleague is the first to turn around and says over his commlink to his people to stop the search. They had what they wanted. I still blame myself for running away and being so childish. My eyes slowly go down and I look at my feet because my ashamed being so that I don’t have to look at the others faces. Well, no. Finn, who still stands next to me lifts my head with his hand and turns my Face around to him. In the corner of my eyes I see Rey leaving the ledge. Finn slaps my face ‘gently’ to get my attention back. Pretty close for me, not more than two inches between us. He captures my eyes with his and says with a calm but strong voice: “We talk about all that when were back at the base. You owe me a explanation. And don’t even thinking about running away again.” 

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

A troop of ten people, all fully armed, escort me back to the base and through the hallways, my hands in cuffs. Now I really felt like a murderer or an information dealer. Not trusting eyes, confused and scared ones starring at me while we walk through the commando central. Finn, who didn’t leave my side, surprisingly, puts the stolen data pad with all my information’s on one of the commando desks. He took me by my arm and pushed me forward until we reached the general. I don’t listen at all what they were saying, still deep inside my thoughts what now could happen and what the hug meant for Finn. Maybe he sees me now with different eyes. The reaction when he saw me confuses me. I was all the time mad and unfair to him and he hugs me like he missed me. Finn pushes me to the side, out of the convoy and into a small floor. I don’t even try to ask what happened or how he could get me free. The silence between us walks with us through the corridors and after a long time of walking, Finn pushes me though a door in a part of the station, where I never went.

“Is it true, what you wrote down on your data pad…”, his voice breaking and tears coming through. He does not even looks me in the eyes, so much pain is it causing, to think about it.

“Would it change anything?” His face turned from a little bit worried to a lot worried.

“Of course it would! We would loose the best pilot of the resistance and… and … I could loose you!” I can’t really believe what he’s saying. No best pilot flies without checking if there is enough fuel especially without a mission. And why would he care?

“I’m not the best, I was never. There are way better people out there, which you can care about.”, my voice just a shadow of itself and my head hanging, looking away from Finn’s pain filled eyes. I just can’t see him that broken. Why is he not staying with Rey and lives happily?

“I don’t need to care about the others when I already have you!” Finn getting even more angry, “Do you even know what you mean to us? To me and Rey? To the whole resistance? You saved more lives that I could count and you still think that you’re not great? How?!”

“Because I don’t get what I want, doesn’t matter how much I bleed for it..”, I talked faster than I could think, but I notice that I got myself into talking what I miss in this moment.

“What, what do you want so much that you would die for it?! Tell me!”, Finn nearly screams at me in confusion and desperate. I would scream back at his face, telling him how much I love him and how much I miss being just with him on missions, in total trust for each other.

“I can’t…”, now my voice is gone.

“Why? I was asking your friends and colleagues what could be going wrong right now and nobody could tell me what was you on with you. I called Rey back here just for you, but even she couldn’t figure out why you were so cold and distant. I thought you were good with the people around you. I thought you had ‘fun’ with them. I thought you would be now truly happy after you took other for the night in your room. I just wanted you to be fine, but you aren’t. Why you didn’t told me is not on me to decide, but I would have helped you. Even Rose didn’t know what was going on with you after I asked her to talk to you. After Rey told me what you’ve written down, I couldn’t believe it. Please, tell me why you’ve been avoiding us? Why? Please, it hurts, buddy…”, his monologue ender in begging. I would do everything now for him but… he wasn’t going to do anything with Rey. She just helped. He just tried to figure me out. With the help of all the friends he has known. Did the pilot, who gave me the pad, also just helped Finn? Probably yes. He was looking at me like he wanted to read something out of my mind. He didn’t let me fly after he read the message, I wrote. I feel now kind of worse than before.

“I’m good.”, I lift my head, looking him straight into his eyes, seizures him disbelieve.

“Don’t lie to me Poe, I know that face good enough.”. He comes closer, to close, whispering now: “What are you hiding from me?”

I don’t even let him think about what he just said. I response in a harsh way: “A big and very complicated Secret.” I open the door and stepped into the hallway, before he even realizes what I just said. What I didn’t quite planned were the possibility for people who were on Finns side. In front of me stand the three of the pilots I ate with this morning and behind me Rey and Rose. There is no running without a fight. Before I did choose which group I want to fight to get the hell out of here, did Finn grab my arm. I had no choice but staying with him so I went back in this dark room. This time Finn does not look just a little bit worried, his face shows anger and frustration but also worries and fears.

“Please buddy!” Now his voice sounds really heartbreaking.

“I can’t tell you. You probably won’t even accept my actions after I told you what’s really about. It stays a secret, even if it does kill me slowly, I won’t say it.”, I try my best to push him out of my comfort zone before my R-rated Ideas come back but he just gets closer. In the next few seconds I forget everything I planned to do. Still with the cuffs on my hands. I slowly get closer looking from his eyes to his lips and back and biting my lip in a gentle way. All my instincts are taking over. Before I could stop myself, Finn already did put his lips on mine. My reflex in this situation, which I’ve always have dreamed of, is kissing back, shy and insecure. A mixture of adrenaline and oxytocin runs through my veins and I put my hands to Finn’s face before he takes a step back, to watch me.

“Was it that what you wanted?”, his voice got dry and darker but that just made it more sexy. I could just grin in this situation. It takes a few seconds for my brain to form the next sentence: “Are we still ‘buddy’s’?” Now is Finn’s reaction just a small giggling.

“If you want to, but we could be way more.” I just can’t believe what’s happening in here. My crushes fist kisses me and second wants more from me. Am I already dead and in heaven?! I just have one final question for the Ex-Stormtrooper: “How did you knew?”- “BB8 told me..."

★★★★★★★★★★★

Please, write all your ideas how I could get better in the comments

Thanks for all the people who support me in what I do^^

And yeah, it took long. Just about one full day