#this whole scenario and idea has been RUINING me lately

[stardust-kitten]

i’m sorry (not really) but few things hit the spot quite like imagining someone who is too embarrassed to call me mommy normally being so overwhelmed with pleasure and agony and desperation that the pathetic pleads of “mommy” leave their mouth before they can even think about it

[gurugirl]

The Babysitter | dad!harry x babysitter!reader

Based on this request (changed some things - hope you still like it anon!)

Summary: The cute babysitter Harry's wife hired has always tempted him, but now that his wife is away for the evening Harry might just give in.

Word Count: 2,011

Warning: smut, cheating, implied age gap (your call on how large), inappropriate relationship (both consenting adults)

|main masterlist|

. . .

Harry was so fucked.

He knew better. A married man on the brink of ruining it all just for a taste of his kid’s babysitter. Truly, outrageously fucked.

He arrived home that day, knowing he’d have the house to himself all night with his wife gone out of town for a work trip. Knowing the cute babysitter would still be there, all doe-eyed and shy smiles. She definitely had a crush on him and he couldn’t stop thinking about that.

All day at work he went back and forth with the idea of it. The whole ‘fuck around and find out’ thing was more compelling when he might be able to get away with it. But it wouldn’t be worth it, he told himself even though he continued imagining what she’d feel like underneath him.

His actions completely contradicted that sound internal advice.

Because when he saw Y/n all cuddled up on his couch, a sweater draped over her shoulders and her bare legs stretched out long he allowed himself to stare for a moment. He shouldn’t have been thinking what he was but he couldn’t stop the blood rushing to his cock. He was going straight to hell for the kind of thoughts that were running through his head right then.

She slowly blinked her eyes opened and sat up with a sweet smile, “Hi. How was work?”

God, the cute, bubbly personality on her, even after just waking up from a nap… She hadn’t been tainted by years of grueling workplace drama and a sad and lonely marriage like he had and he found it refreshing.

“Was good. Uh,” he scratched the back of his neck, keeping his eyes on hers, “Everything go all right today here?”

She nodded and moved her legs off the couch, feet hitting the floor as she nodded, “He’s the sweetest. It was a good day. He kept asking for mom so I think he’s upset that she wasn’t here this morning but I told him she’d be back tomorrow night. Fast asleep now.”

But there was something in the way she was looking at him. Like she was just waiting for him to pounce. Rounded eyes, with that shy smile as she bit the edge of her bottom lip. Like she knew what he was thinking, her own mind filled with the same filthy scenarios.

It was late. Harry always got home late on Thursdays. After dark. After his son was already asleep, and usually it was his wife greeting him.

She parted her lips as she let her gaze lower to just below the buckle on his pants and then back up to his eyes.

“Yeah. We’ll be okay without her for a night,” Harry swallowed thickly as he sat his briefcase down and moved deeper into the living room next to the couch where Y/n was still seated. “What about you?”

“What about me?” She raised her brows as she craned her head to look up at him.

“I mean… you alright too? Still seated like you’re tired. You can stay if you want.”

She blinked her eyes and then did it again, letting her pupils connect with the space at his crotch before quickly bringing them back upward to his face, “Oh… I can go. I’m sorry…”

Y/n stood up quickly but Harry caught her by her arm, “It’s okay. You don’t have to go. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. Was really helpful having you stay late tonight.”

If she kept looking at him like that, those fuck-me eyes and plush parted lips, he wasn’t going to be able to stop himself.

“Oh. I’m glad. Was happy to help you out, Harry. I’d do it as often as you needed me to.”

He grinned and watched her moisten her soft lips when she poked her tongue out and looked up at him through her lashes. If she wasn’t begging for it he didn’t know what this was.

“You gonna stay?”

She nodded, still looking up at him as she tucked her bottom lip into her mouth.

In a moment of weakness, of sheer insanity, he raised his hand up to her face and thumbed at her bottom lip, “What’s going on, Y/n? You got something to tell me?”

She fluttered her lashes and leaned into his touch as she kept her pupils aimed right at him. But then her lips parted again and Harry found himself sliding the tip of his thumb between her lips before she wrapped her mouth around it and he felt her tongue gently lave against his pad.

Now he was the one with parted lips as he watched his kid’s babysitter suck his thumb into her mouth, eyes pinned to his still.

And before he knew it, he found himself fucked in the figurative and literal sense as he had her face down on his mattress with his cock nudged into her so deep she was keening and hissing at the bite of pain his fat length was causing.

“Shhh… be a good girl and keep quiet, yeah?”

“Mmmm!”

It was so good. It was so fucking good. He hadn’t been laid in a couple of months and the babysitter’s pussy was better than he imagined it would be. She was wet for him right away. When he got her very short shorts off her legs and buried his face between her soft thighs she was already so sensitive and dripping, wiggling and moaning like she was just as pent up as he’d been. Like she wanted it just as bad. She’d made a big mess of him and the sheets but he’d deal with clean up later.

Because when he finally pushed his throbbing dick inside of her welcoming pussy it was game over. He had her hips in both hands, tightly gripping the meat at her sides as he buried in over and over again, letting her juice coat every inch and wet his pubes with her fragrance. He watched as he stuffed her with his cock, her cute ass perked upward and she pushed back on every one of his thrusts. So pretty.

Everything was slick and gushy as he plowed into her guts, slapping his hips into her ass. He kept looking at the bedroom door (which was closed and locked) out of habit just in case, but now he was out of his mind as she trembled and drooled against the pillow his wife used.

He slowed his plunges and watched his shaft as he pulled out, “Fuck… got me all creamy, baby. Why don’t you flip over so I can see your pretty face?”

She was shaky as she dropped down to the bed, scooting herself to adjust and then spreading her thighs as he tucked right back inside of her, pelvis dipping against her own.

“Harry…” Y/n quietly breathed as she watched him. He was so thick and long, just like she knew he’d be. She never thought he’d ever step out on his wife but here he was, with his big cock driving into her, making her squelch and stretch wide for him. She almost couldn’t believe it was happening.

Harry groped at her tit, still on his knees as he steadied himself, his thighs working in, “Oh sweet girl…” he panted, quads and glutes flexing with every motion. He picked up her hand and brought her fingertips to his mouth, kissing as he pumped himself through her walls and then dragging his lips down to her palm and then wrist.

“Oh my god…” she whined before draping her arm over her mouth to keep her volume down.

“Who knew you were so filthy? Look at you letting a married man fuck your brains out.”

A muffled moan sounded from her throat as she felt him jerk into her harder, the coarse hair at the base of his dick scratched at her clit before he began to grind his hips against her, adding friction like he knew that was what she was searching for with her hips rising to meet him with every thrust.

“But look at how lucky I am. So pretty… Hot little pussy, fuckin’ drenched, baby. How long were thinking about this, hmm?”

Harry did feel lucky too. Y/n was a hot little thing that he’d had some pretty dirty thoughts about since they first hired her. It was his wife’s choice. Y/n was in her senior year of university with long smooth legs and an adorable shy smile that caught him off guard the first time he saw her. So he always looked forward to seeing her every morning before leaving for work, or in the early evenings when he’d come home to relieve her.

Harry grabbed her other hand, moving her arm from her mouth as he brought those fingers up to his lips to kiss every one of them as he threaded their fingers together on her other hand, never stopping the movement of his hips.

With the back of her hand pressed into the blanket next to her shoulder, she inhaled sharply, trying to catch her breath. “Since I first met you…” she admitted.

Harry grunted, running his tongue along her wrist before folding his fingers into hers like her other hand and then pressing it down to the bed as he leaned over her, pelvis grinding against hers, his balls squeezing against her bum. And that was fucking deep.

“Oh yeah? Fuck, coulda been fucking this pretty pussy for the last few months. Making you come for being such a good girl and just for looking so fucking cute all the time.”

She moaned softly, “It feels so good…”

Harry grinned down at her, feeling her start to squeeze and pulse, “It does doesn’t it? Such a bad thing to feel this good. Might be trouble for us.”

“Mmmm…” she panted and then gasped as she was thrown over the edge, walls gripping and milking his cock.

Harry watched Y/n as she fell apart, “There you go, such a good girl, so pretty, baby…”

Harry gritted his teeth as he fucked her through her orgasm.

He was already leaking precome and practically shaking by the time he pulled himself out and pumped his fat cock right over her tummy. He’d have loved to have just come inside Y/n’s pussy but what he was doing was already dumb as it was.

He grunted and sucked in through his teeth, “Oh fuck…”

He’d gotten a little come on his knuckles as he ran his fist down his shaft, letting the last bits drip out onto the girl below him. A pretty sight. She was all fucked out and dazed, tits rising and falling with every breath, his come marking her tummy and her pussy freshly fucked, still soaked.

He was a gentleman, helped her clean up, and kissed her a little bit more before sending her on her way with a playful swat to her ass. He’d have loved to ask her to stay all night but he worried that that would just confuse things further. She promised she wouldn’t tell anyone and Harry said it wouldn’t affect her job and that it would be their secret. Though he did hope he’d have another chance to feel her again one day, he didn’t count on it. His wife was returning the following day and Y/n was soon to finish off her last year of college and she wouldn’t be needing a babysitting gig anymore.

Did he regret cheating on his wife? In that moment, he couldn’t say he did. He had fun and it felt so good to have sex with someone who wanted his cock as bad as Y/n did. He only hoped he didn’t get found out and as long as Y/n kept up her end of the bargain (he was sure she would) he figured the whole thing was a win.

He’d just need to keep himself in check around her when his wife was present. But when his wife wasn’t around he couldn’t promise anything.

. . .

PART 2

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[kizzer55555]

Ultimate Escape Room

Sam, Danny, and Tucker are bored. Nothing seems to be a challenge anymore. Summer vacation is coming up but they can’t agree on anything . Themepark? What’s a better roller coaster than Jack driving? Scary movie? I’m sorry, nothing beats Fright Knight’s nightmare realm. Bungie jumping? Danny can fly. Then Tucker, who’s been typing on his computer, asks “what about an escape room?”. The others are about to shut the idea down because seriously? Easy. But Tucker just grins and shows them his computer screen.

“Ever heard of Arkham?”

Danny and Sam lean over to read the description and all three turn to each other and grin. 

Now, what’s the fastest way to get into Arkham?

…

So the chaos trio do ✨something✨ that gets them locked up in Arkham and then try to escape and they keep. You know, normal stuff for Arkham inmates. Except this trio? Keep. Getting. Out. Of. Their. Cells. So they are just passing by locked up rogues and waving at them as an army of prison guards chase after them. Sure they could get out the easy way (Aka powers) but no, this is a challenge so they have the normal rules of an escape room. Aka, you can’t break anything and an extra rule where if a guard catches you, then you can’t fight back (also, no one can get hurt). (They make fake identities and everything). So they need to go through the whole process. Figure out how to unlock cuffs. Could be learning to pick a lock with a spoon/stick/long nails. Then find the keys. Possibly having to crawl through vents to get in the warden’s office. Or making deals with prison inmates. Like, I’ll get this for you if you give me that (however they extract a promise that the rogue can’t kill anyone with whatever they help them with.) So they are in prison literally doing errands like find freeze’s weapons in exchange for him telling them the passcode to the gate or something. Or getting Waylon some meat from the cafeteria and he’ll break the lock on this movable vault that has materials to make smoke bombs they can use to distract the front guards. 

These kids are just going wild and it gets to the point where Arkham has to call the bats (like no Waylon, we won’t escape with you, we have to do it without breaking any walls!) So literally the only reason they are not escaping is because they want to do it ‘right’. But they are also aiding other rogues in their escape (at least certain ones. They aren’t helping joker no matter what he offers)

It’s driving the bats mad. They have vigilantes stationed in each hall, in multiple monitor rooms.

They aren’t even using anything clever to block the cameras. They’re using mirrors. Mirrors! Where did they even get so many handheld mirrors! 

They are running circles around the bats. The escaped rogues literally aren’t doing anything yet because they want to see how the three hellions will escape the entire bat clan. They have bets going. So there is a temporary truce.

Just imagine the conversations/interrogations the bats will have with trio, trying to figure out their master plan - because surely there's something more going on than three chaos young adults playing a game, right?

They trio each have a different story. And they are so passionate/convincing actors that no one knows which story is real. At least one of them told a sob story with legitimate tears.

Danny: (all mysterious) You shall never know our master plan….until it is too late. And just casually dropping hints that there is something greater or that the bats are playing right into their hands. Even using ridiculous scenarios like yesss the ketchup explosion in the cafeteria….We are one step further….Mwa ha ha! (Rubs his hands together)

Sam: (absolutely distraught with literal tears running down her face and ruining her mascara.) There is a terrible organization holding their parents hostage. They had been framed and forced to be in Arkham. If they don’t do exactly as they are told, their loved ones are in danger! Should we stay? Should we escape and help them!? No one will believe us and what if we make things worse? We don’t know what to do!

Tucker: (takes a long slurp of a smoothie. Where he got one? No one knows). Yeah we were bored and had nothing better to do than mess with you guys. (Sluuuuurp).

The bats are trying to figure it out. Is the black haired guy telling the truth and the other two are just manipulating them? Is it the girl and the others are only following the plot of the organization? IS THE BARET KID RIGHT AND THEY’RE JUST MESSING WITH US!? WHICH STORY IS IT!?

Under normal circumstances, Sam wouldn’t give a sob story because It’s not really her vibe. But Sam has the opportunity to pull one over on a bat. Do you honestly think she won’t take a chance to mess with them? Also, Dick is the one who is interrogating Sam.

He’s crying too by the end of the story.

Poor guy, Sam will play his heart like a fiddle. 

Also, their fake identities are Jordan for Danny. Mortica for Sam (or Macey for short) and Phineas for Tucker. The fact that they are using fake identities is the only thing they all agree on in the interview. But the bats find nothing on them and the identities are so realistic they wonder if they are even fake at all. If the three are faking fake IDs to throw them off their tail from looking deeper. Apparently their ‘parents’ having a missing persons report.

Damian is interrogating Danny. It’s just so easy to rile him up and get under his skin. It’s absolute drama in that interrogation room. 

Danny: ah yessss. Master plan.

Damian: you shall never succeed! Justice shall prevail evil scum!

And Duke is interrogating Tucker. He just…has no idea how to respond to this. He wasn’t trained for this response. Hostile, yes. Mysterious, yes. Scared, yes. Civilian, yes. Even Flirtatious! YES! But not…this. What does he do? should he take out his note cards?

Also, I’m adding a mix of home alone elements to this. They have to get past the bats somehow and it can’t be lethal. Poor Jason and Steph who are patrolling the halls fall victim to most of this.

At one point, both of them are tied up together and hanging from the ceiling. While the trio just casually walk by under them. 

It’s dental floss. Really strong dental floss.

Then the bats start taking sides. 

Jason? once he hears Sam's story, he's immediately willing to help her. He and Dick are searching for that missing person's report almost religiously.

Tim believes Danny's story. part of it is because it makes the most sense, and the other part is that he's slightly biased from becoming an evil megalomaniac in every timeline he's seen so he's subconsciously trying to stop that from happening here.

Cass believes Tucker because come on, it's Cass.

Steph is siding with Tim because her father was cluemaster so same reasons.

Bruce is trying to fact check all of them and is failing desperately.

Sam added some ‘clues’ in her interrogation and basically threw the GIW under the bus as the organization. So the bats do find a shady organization but so far no missing persons so the other bats still don’t know if what Sam is saying is true or not while Dick takes this as absolute proof and Jason feels like it doesn’t matter if she’s telling the truth at this point. It’s a corrupt organization. So he’ll still blow it up.

I think in this AU, the GIW isn’t a threat and more of an annoyance so Sam just plays them up as even worse. Like, she doesn’t say anything untrue just makes it sound worse out of context. Oh yeah, they opened fire on this random kid. (Gregory when they thought he was phantom) Oh yes, they have destroyed Danny’s house at one point. (The prank war with Vlad) Yes, the have an unhealthy obsession with dissecting people. (Even though they are too incompetent to actually catch anyone).

So again, they don’t know if Sam is telling the truth of the organization or they just used this random organization to draw their attention away from the three’s plans (as Danny implied). Possibly an enemy organization or a competitor.

I know everyone makes the GIW a big threat but I decided to change it up. They aren’t a threat but still get obliterated by a pissed off Red Hood and Nightwing.

And that’s  another reason why Sam gives the sob story. Danny and Tucker are great but they wouldn’t actually sick a crime lord on the GIW. Sam? Absolutely would. She does not care what happens to them. They tore up her garden one time with a stray shot. She wants revenge. And sure, she didn’t actually know what would happen to them after the bats find out but she still doesn’t care.

And through all of this, the rogues are sitting back and eating popcorn while Joker screams bloody murder from his cell. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for ditching my parents for my birthday?

Some backstory: I (17F) am turning 18 as of 2024. The 17th birthday is a lot more important in my culture because that's our country's age of majority, and my parents had insisted on celebrating it with a whole party/massive dinner like most other girls do, but I am in fact a loser and absolutely hate these festivities. I am also gender nonconforming/masc and the parties are like, think princessy stuff that I don't super vibe with. My mother is like me. She hates birthday parties and feminine clothing. I have no idea why she was pushing it so hard, but eventually her plans for my birthday fell through. I told her not to bother getting me gifts or anything because I thought I had evaded the celebration ordeal.

However. Much to my misfortune. My whole family decided to barge into my room at 2 in the morning to shower me in confetti!! Confetti!! It was all over the goddamn place, on my bed, in my clothes, etc. I hid under my blanket because there was nowhere else to go and my parents like to do this (barge into the one area of the house I occupy, and start demanding stuff) and my mother was telling me to at least come out for pictures. I was literally in my pajamas like dawg what.

I couldn't take it anymore and started screaming like a banshee because that was the only thing that would get them to leave, but they still stuck around for a couple more minutes being awkwardly like oh... sorry... you really hate this. My room was full of pink balloons (my favorite color is yellow???) and they got me an enormous cake with frosting. I hate cake and especially I hate frosting. It was actually hell.

Anyway more insane stuff happened, not important, but that's essentially the disaster of a seventeenth birthday that I had. I know they want to do something for my eighteenth. I really don't like celebrating things, nor do I particularly want to, but judging by that whole ordeal I think they're going to try something again anyway.

So my plan is to just... not come home after school. Or if I don't have school then I'd just go out in the morning. I don't leave the house, so I don't have curfew, and I don't even want to stay out that long. Just long enough that they're all passed out and I can escape ANY AND ALL ATTEMPTS at giving me gifts, congratulating me, and shooting confetti all over my fucking room.

They're probably not going to call the cops, I'd tell them I'm going out and not kidnapped, just not where and for how long. I also think they kind of can't call the cops on me because I've been a legal adult where I'm from since the disaster birthday. Maybe that will help with the plan. I honestly think I'm just going to go to a café and write or something. I'm so over it, I want to have a birthday that isn't messy, that day means absolutely nothing to me and confetti pisses me off. Since my childhood my birthday has never been about me, like I don't really get what I would like to get, so I'm cool with not celebrating it at all. It doesn't matter.

To me simply avoiding them for the whole day is such a win-win scenario but I don't really know if this is an underdeveloped frontal lobe speaking. I also know they're likely to buy a cake in advance and I may be ruining plans by disappearing. My birthday is late in the year, so I have time to think about it, but I do think my parents are kind of insane. I don't think I can talk them out of doing any more of this stuff. Sorry this got long, but WIBTA?

(And yes I would love to move out but capitalism)

[night-dazai]

Making Geto Mad

Hello all this is the first time i am writing and i wanted to do a smut scenario , but i started writing a whole ass long story sorry 😭😭😭😭😭

word count is :1572

Forgive me and please let me know if i should finish the smut that i left half way at the end .

Your boyfriend Geto was the perfect man any woman could ask for, with his face, his body, voice, character, and all in all the perfect gentleman. In the whole 8 months of your relationship, he has never actually gotten mad or jealous in your eyes and even if he did he always told you and it was never a misunderstanding. This does not mean you did not have fights, but it has always been handled in a very mature way by your man and this was getting out of hand. You were a virgin before meeting this fine gentleman and true to his appearance he is a gentleman in bed, your first time was blissful and sweet and so have all your makeout sessions been. He has never once gotten rough with you, you were a glass doll he was blessed with and he would never break it for his pleasure … is what you thought. 

It has been 8 months since he changed, the famous but sweet playboy no one knew what he was. Only the people who slept with him or dated him knew him and his best friend Satoru knew that he was a devil in disguise. The first time you entered the school with your sweet-looking aura and tiny body he knew he wanted you in his bed. But little did he plan on falling for you, it was not in his plan but it happened. Your sweet voice laughing, your gentle smile when you saw him in the corridor but the way you turned cold as ice when fighting curses made his dick twitch and so did his heart. It's the first time he wanted to date a girl not to fuck her or just for entertainment. He wanted you, wanted your smile, wanted your body and your soul and he would take it at all costs. After getting you to confess to him he changed and released a bit too late. He could not force you to do anything, he was shocked when he heard you were a virgin. He wondered for nights how such a lovely flower was left untouched in this cruel world but here you were in his arms sleeping peacefully having no idea how badly he wanted to destroy you. He wanted to fuck you, he loved you no questions but he wanted fuck, rough hard and nasty, but he could not. Seeing the tears trickle down your cheeks the first time he entered you, he wanted to ruin you but held on. The way you held his arms trying to hold your life was so cute which made him wonder “Can she ever handle a rough man ?” and he decided no. Every time there was a fight he would go to Nanami to talk and vent but his friend being the calm and rational person he is always listened and told the mostly mature solution making Geto the mature person in the relationship. 

Shoko held your hand tightly as you scanned yourself once again in the mirror “You look sexy and can get 20 to 30 tonight, girl forget your man and enjoy the night “ she said hugging your waist as you looked doubtful. You had never worn such a short frock, the black material was almost transparent making your white inners slightly visible in a teasing way. “Do I look good in this ?” you asked doubtfully but before you could get an answer Gojo burst the room door open “It has been an hour girls let go!!” his voice high and whinny but when he saw you he dramatically opened his jaw and got on his knees “ marry me love I will al-” Ghetto kicked his friend in the ass pushing him aside walked up to you “ love, shall we ?”. His voice was soft and sweet he took your hands kissing your knuckles. You nodded your head and soon you guys started to the club. This was your first time coming to a club “Geto ..” you whispered in his ear to make sure he heard you in the loud place “Yes love?” he asked looking at you “I don't look weird right ?” you asked tucking a stand of your hair behind. Ghetto smiled and placed a glass in front of you “of course love why would you think that ?” he asked snaking an arm around your waist. You looked around nervously for a second and thought about what Shoko told you “ well… i feel kinda weird …” your tone made Geto’s face frown in worry “ why are you feeling sick or you dont like the music should we leave ?” he asked placing his glass down . “No no… just … “ you fidgeted with your fingers “ i might be wrong also but …i feel like people are starting at me “ you voice trailed low at the end . If Geto had not been close to you he would have not heard a word . Gojo and Shoko both were on the floor having a blast while you were trying to make your boyfriend mad. Ghetto smiled looking at you, his calloused hands rubbing on your checks “When my girl is so lovely looking how can they keep their eyes to them, they have to look your angle “ his voice was low and as he spoke in your ear your checkers heated “ oh…i see” you said turning your head and looking at your friends who were waving at you two to join them. You dragged your boyfriend to the dance floor trying to avoid his sly look which was making you squirm. As you were enjoying the floor you noticed how a group of men were approaching you and shoko “Darling, i will be back in a while “ Geto said holding your waist “Whyy..” you asked worried after noticing the group of men “ a puff dear only a little i will be back soon don't worry Gojo is here “ he said kissing your head he felt you with Shoko who was ass of drunk. You kept your thoughts to yourself and continued to dance when you felt someone grab your hand “ kitty want someone to dance with ?” asked a blonde while the rest of the group walked towards you and Shoko “ oiiiii… dance with me “ she said grabbing the man from you and dragging him away but you started feeling uncomfortable walked but before they could grab you again you were pulled backwards “ love are these your friends ?” a sweet voice cooed from behind you . Feeling safe you turned and hugged your boyfriend “Geto..” you mumbled in his chest while the men stopped and walked away “ love you wanna go home ?” he asked but you did not move or make any noise . “y/n look at me ?” he said worried taking your face he saw your glassy eyes small red lips and doe eyes .“Let's go back “ He said and dragged you out of the place with Gojo shouting behind him “ GETO…!!!” . Your ride back was quiet as you calmed down “ will Shoko be alright ?” you asked worried “ Shoko … i would worry about the man more “ Geto said and it was quite again . You soon realise he was taking you to his house and for some reason the air felt heavy in the car and the elevator .  

Due to a word limit this is ending mid way i am extremely sorry the next half in the posted .

Thank you for reading this and i accept any request !!

[meddow]

Fic Author Q&A

Thank you for tagging me @curator-on-ao3!

1. Why do you write fanfic?

It’s a bit of a combination firstly wanting to share a plot idea I have with others, secondly, wanting to see something happen which I know won’t happen in the original source, and thirdly, it can be a bit of a fun puzzle – I don’t like this canon, how do I fix it.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

Lately, First Solitary Separate Singular Complete. It was the first fic I wrote after a long break and I was a very rusty when writing it, so mostly what I would have do differently.

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

There will be times when you feel you’ve lost the ability to write. It will come back. It never strays that far away.

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

I do check them and quite often, but just for hits. I like seeing the hit count on my WIP steadily head up and like to interpret that as it has found an audience.

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

I wouldn’t mind revisiting Lix/Randall (The Hour) a bit more. I still occasionally find myself coming up with AUs for them. I had half a Victorian detectives AU plotted out in my head back in the day and I wish I'd had the energy to write it. Anyway, it was six episodes over a decade ago and yet they still reside in my head.

6. What motivates you to write?

Partly it’s a race against time to get things down before my inspiration runs out. Partly is that writing for me is like cooking. It’s lovely cooking for myself, but its extra special getting to share what I’ve created with the world and seeing other people enjoy it

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

My muse is very much motivated by newspaper articles and non-fiction and basically shit I see in the world which pisses me off, and Star Trek remains the ultimate franchise for being able to discuss contemporary issues with a shielding layer of fiction over the top.

For example (spoilers for the next chapter of The Endurance of Light) the villains I’m writing at the moment have an ideology which is based of a whole bunch of anti-master, anti-vaxxer and anti-science rhetoric I’ve seen around – and I’m getting to show how the ruling class of that planet use that ideology to oppress the masses and keep themselves in power, while finding and exploiting loopholes that benefit themselves. I don't know if I'm weird, but writing that kind of stuff for me is oddly fun.

Strange New Worlds in particular hits that sweet spot as it has a great set up and characters I adore, but never seems to have enough time/a high enough episode order to really explore the characters and I want to fix that.  

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

Go for a walk. I get all my best ideas either wandering around the local park, or in the shower.

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

I can’t speak for any author but myself, but I’m happy to answer questions about future developments (or the general direction at least, I won’t give a blow by blow) if someone asks me in a comment. I don’t like tagging my fics with whether it’s a happy ending or not or whether a pairing is endgame or not because I feel that ruins any tension and/or mystery I want to build for everyone, but in the comments, I can put details below a spoiler cut.

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

As a person who has aphantasia (the inability to picture things in my mind), I’d love to know what other people see when they’re writing, and how much detail. For me, I feel like for a scene I get enough in my mind to create one blurry film still per scene. There's no movement though. I can’t picture things like facial expressions changing or what characters are doing with their hands. Often I feel like I’m just writing off vibes.

I've seen a lot of people I follow tagged already, is there anyone who has missed out that wants to be?

[emilycollins00]

Hi!!! :3. I was wondering if you could write something for Omi, please? Like a scenario where he is between confessing his feelings for you or keep them to himself. Sorry if this bother you, but currently im in a Omi brainrot 😭😭. I really love your style and writing 💕💕💕💕

Omi brain-rot is REAL and it’s such a state to be you are so strong nana/j I focused a bit more on his own monologue regarding the situation. Hope it’s okay?

Please enjoy! 💕

Giving the heart a rest (OmixReader)

Despite what many might say, Omi was not the best at dealing with feelings. Not all feelings, of course— More like his own. And out of those, the ones specifically related to you. Kinda.

He had definitely tried to pay no mind to them at first. Part of him focused on believing the sensations he felt when your name popped among his notifications—or every time he saw you smile— must have been what his loved ones brought.  He felt like himself the more time he spent with you. Recharged. Strong. It hadn’t been since he first entered Mankai that he had felt so at ease with someone.

So why ruin it thinking about his feelings?

Maybe that was not the exact word.

In any case, the autumn member hadn’t wanted to put a name to any of it. If he could have chosen, things could have stayed that way forever and he would have been happy in his obliviousness. But the fact simply dawned on him one day, right after a random conversation with you that had zero connections to romance in the slightest. That’s when Omi knew.

And it was scary, somehow. Being aware of these newfound feelings for you.

He left the tray of petit fours resting on the kitchen table right next to the previous midnight snack he had prepared that evening, a few hours ago. These new ones were made with bits of strawberries and lemon. A few would enjoy them, Omi hoped.

He was beginning to wash the utensils when the door to the kitchen opened.

“Oh, it’s Ma.”

Immediately recognizing the voice, Omi pecked from the counter, hands still wet. “Yuki? It’s rare to see you up this late.” he looked at the clock on the wall confirming the time. Yeah, four in the morning was definitely out of the young man’s usual schedule, especially when they were on a break in between plays. “You okay? Want me to make you some tea?”

The young man shrugged, but didn’t seem completely opposed to the idea since he walked in. Omi began to heat the pot. “The hack has been preparing for an audition of some sort again,” he muttered while sitting on one of the chairs. “Decided to leave him talking to himself. I’m too tired to argue with his empty-head.”

“I see. I’ll prepare some tea for him too then.”

Yuki hummed. He stared for a while, watching the main cook of Mankai move around the pots in the silence of the night. He then glanced at the table and turned back to the him one more time before breaking the silence. “So, what’s up with the stress-cooking.”

The actor gave a quick chuckle, not really looking up. “Just a thought or two I couldn’t shake.”

“About?”

“It’s… complicated.”

No comment following that sentence came from either of them.

Part of Omi was thankful. It wasn’t that he didn’t trusted Yuki (or anyone in Mankai for that matter, that was out of the question) but even he didn’t know how to voice his thoughts or organize them in his head, so verbalizing them was a whole new level.

Which one was really the best choice? To keep it inside forever seemed easier. Telling you… he couldn’t fathom imagining your expression. Would you feel; forced? uncomfortable? open to the possibility of considering him? He was sure everyone would wholeheartedly tell him to follow his heart. To go for it. Hell, he would have said it as well had the person not been… himself. And yet, there was something that didn’t feel right no matter what he chose.

Or maybe it was just this personal pressure he liked to put himself under, as Izumi and Sakyo sometimes said.

“Is it about Y/N?”

The cup he was filling almost fell when his body jerked on his own, a bit of the hot tea scattering over the counter, making Omi contain a yelp.

Talk about abrupt.

Then again, maybe he shouldn’t have been as surprised. You had visited the dorm after all, albeit only a few times as a favor to help him take photos of some troupes’ outfits for an upcoming play. If anyone could have noticed something... it really might have been Yuki.

The boy in question scoffed at his behaviour, as if he had been aware of what would happen if he mentioned you.

“Don’t look too surprised, I just took a shot. You have quite the walls put up, Ma.”

Omi continued to stay silent. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of being found out, but there was something awkward in having someone reading him like that.

“I like them.” Yuki continued talking as he watched Omi clean the bit of mess, unimpressed. “Not that I’ve talked much with them to have a fully detailed opinion but… you feel different.”

“Different?”

“Gentler, I guess,” he offered. “Which honestly didn’t think was possible— I even asked the dumb dog if you two were dating. He had no clue.”

Omi’s eyes flashed. Yuki didn’t seem to notice, stretching his hand to grab the newly made pastries. He took a bite before speaking again. “So? You trying to think of a way to invite them out or something?”

Once the main problem came up in the air Omi’s shoulder fell. There it was again, that unknown pressure on his chest. “I… don’t know.” He eventually answered. There was no point in trying to hide what Yuki had said so far was not true. He had never been good at lying anyway. Or at being completely honest with himself either. “I don’t think they would want that.”

Yeah… yeah. Maybe it all came down to that. Maybe he didn’t feel worthy enough. And you definitely deserved better than someone with doubts like him.

“Well that is the stupidest thing I’ve heard.”

For the second time in that night, Omi almost dropped the liquid of the cups while straining the tea. Even if being overly direct was one of the main characteristics of Yuki’s personality, he had toned them down over the years, though it seemed this time he could have helped stopping himself. Maybe because Omi deserved it. The autumn member let a hollow laugh, and placed the teacups on the table for the summer actor to take.

“Sorry.” He tried to smile while nodding. “Guess it doesn’t make much sense all this thinking.”

Yuki’s eyebrow rose. “I didn’t really say it to scold you or anything, it doesn’t really concern me.” the young actor sighed deeply and rested his head on his hand. “It’s just surprising, hearing you doubt youserlf over something like this since you tend to be so easy... or maybe not.”

“I don’t—”

“You are overthinking this way more than you should, is what I meant. I bet you are probably imagining how they would react to something you would say, something you wouldn’t say, how would they feel if you didn’t say anything...” He motioned waving his hands rolling his eyes. “It’s your choice Ma but honestly, you should let them have a say in this.”

Yuki took the teacups, thanked Omi and that was the end of their conversation.

.

.

.

“Omi, over here!”

Calm down, you. He tried his best to smile like usual. It comes to him better than he imagined considering he didn’t get that much sleep. “Hey. You’re early.” He stopped the motorbike in front of your meeting spot and opened the back to looking for the other helmet, careful of not moving the cameras and equipment too much.

You made a proud noise. “Well, it’s not always I can ride on your motorbike. Plus, I thought if we finish the job early we could take a look around the place before coming back? There’s quite that garden near the job location.”

“Oh.” He blinked, then smiled. “…Sure, I don’t have anything planned after this.”

“Then let’s take those photos as soon as possible!” You clapped excited, beginning to put the helmet yourself. He merely laughed, turning on the bike once he felt your arms firmly around him.

“What’s the name of the employer again?” he opted to make conversation, trying to focus on something other than your touch. “Hinata Mamoru and Hinata…” You made a thinking sound from behind.

“Hanabi-san, I think. Yesterday Honda-san told me before leaving that they wanted us to…”

Neither of you were expert in the photography industry. If anything, Omi should call you his superior for having been working on the studio one month before he was hired (you were always quick to dismiss that fact), which made the fact of you two being assigned a task outside to be quite exciting. Omi continued listening to your voice and decided for a moment to enjoy the moment. Just you and him doing what you liked.

Of course, whether that could be called good or bad luck, the job had ended much earlier than expected- the weather had helped incredibly, and there was something about working outdoors that helped Omi’s sense become cleared. As of now, phone calls ended, both of you were walking around the park you had been recommended.

“Cloud Haze Garden first, then we go to…” You scrolled along your phone, where you had a map of the place saved. "The Udon diaries?" you turned waiting for his opinion. "What do you think?”

He gives the okay, your face beaming immediately. And it might sound cliché, but Omi loved seeing you enjoying yourself like this. He always hoped you could be yourself with him like he felt with you.

Continuing small talk, your feet lead you to the Garden. You felt your breath taken away by the sight of the flowers and were quick to take pictures, walking around and talking with Omi as you did.

You then ventured towards the Rose Garden, past a section fashioned to look European. You bent down a little, taking some more photographs of the flowers. "They're beautiful." You smiled, eyes following the trail the way.

You didn’t see the way Omi looked at you—you were far too distracted by the roses to notice.

"They are." He agreed quietly.

His gaze burned.

The words didn’t register until he finished speaking. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Sounds serious.”

You said it as a joke since the comment had come up from nowhere, but the way Omi’s body tensed and his smile didn’t fully reach his eyes prompted you to frown quickly. The air seemed suddenly charged with a mix of uncertainty and eagerness, making you lower your phone. “You okay?”

“Yes.” maybe he answered too fast. A few birds chirped in the distance. He took some air. “It’s nothing important. I’ve just been giving… something more thoughts on my own rather than just… sorry I’m doing it again.” He laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. “It’s been difficult to put it into words.”

You hummed, opting to continue walking, as to not make it uncomfortable. It was unusual to say the least to see Omi as preoccupied as he currently looked. You also didn’t like the way his golden eyes kept running away from yours. “Everything okay back at the dorm?”

You two reach a new section of the garden, more tropical. It’s a quite humid as well.

He blinks, as if his theatre was the last thing on his mind. “Oh yeah, everyone is doing fine.”

“I see. That’s good then.”

You decided to stop trying to come up with something—outloud, that is. Your own mind was picturing every possible situation a person like Omi could be having trouble with. And honestly? You were miserably failing. He had told you his brothers had begun their high school studies but they seemed fine. Work had been a pain in the ass lately but everyone loved Omi (who didn’t) so the only option was the worst one.

You halted and turned. “Is it something I did?”

His face almost went white. “No!” That he didn’t hesitate to answer. “No,” he shook his head. “It’s…”

You continue waiting for him to say something, but there was this loss for words. Why had he said anything in the first place? He wasnt like this and both of you knew it. He felt like a kid, not knowing where to start, how to sort his ideas through, or even how to will his tongue to make sense.

I like you. A lot. More than a lot. More than friends are supposed to.

Omi's heart skipped a beat at the trace of worry forming in your eyes. He was making this more difficult that it should, and you shouldn’t be having to be this uncomfortable because of him. He internally groaned. If he was supposed to be as perfect as everyone used to say, he would like to see someone come and do worse than he was doing at the moment.

Another section, this time the air is clearer. You could even see a small pond with quite the variety of flowers surrounding it, but you both continued walking. Slowling the pace a bit more than before. You had never seen Omi this… terrified.

Well, not terrified, but conflicted? Yeah.

You glanced at him, and your heart squeezed. You don’t dare to rush him this time either, but eventually—mercifully— he nods.

“I am… a bit scared.” Talking felt robotic.

“I would never judge you, Omi.”

“I know.”

You may not feel the same but please-

“You know you can count on me.”

A piece of his stomach sank. “I know.” Of course he knew.

Don’t stop talking to me.

Omi raised his head. He was an idiot. And you would always be too good for him.

Say it, Omi.

“Y/N.”

“Yeah?”

Tell them dammit!

Hesitating one last time and with his heart pounding in his chest, Omi looked at you. He watched your face, followed the familiar lines, dips and curves of your features. Your eyes, bright, staring right back into his in the middle of the garden. He drank off the view.

He imagined his entire life searching for the feelings you evoked in him. He wasn’t sure he would be able to find them again.

His voice went shaky when he finally spoke—barely a whisper, and very little shape to the words.

 "I'm in love with you.”

____________________________________________________________

Omi marry me

This man is just too much aaaaah. Hope you all enjoyed it!

Wishing you all a beautiful day!! 💕

[nightmaretalesofpain]

KimChay - La Forte

Set in the backdrop of Kinnporsche. Chay struggles to settle in his new life as the younger son of the minor family. With an absent Porsche, deranged mother, Chay has to navigate the dangers of the mafia world, all while struggling to fit in at university.

@satursticket - for you

Genre: smut, gay love, mafia, heartbreak, bl, boys' love, homosexuality, underworld

Chapter two - 

My big brother was staring at my face, giggling, while I glowered at him. Kinn sat next to him, eating his lunch, while the older brother, the nut case, was screaming at the TV upstairs about how his life was ruined because Lee Joong Ki died in some crappy TV show. I recommended that movie to him so that he'd shut the hell up and leave me alone. 

Kinn and Porsche were amused at this, but they also marvelled at my ability to be so cruel. My head was still aching, as I hadn’t recovered since last week. 

"So, Chay, I heard that you are hanging out with Lily. And you even stayed over at our old place. Should I be informed about something?" my brother teased, and I dropped the spoon on the table. I lost my appetite. 

The pervert brother of mine had no idea what I went through last week, and he has the audacity to ask me whether I was the one dating. The fucking freak. If only he knew. 

"I had no idea you were this close. I mean, you grew up together, when did love blossom?" he continued, grinning.

"Who's Lily?" asked Kinn, playing along. 

"Our neighbour who lives down the street. She and Chay go to the same school. They used to play together when they were kids. Who knew that one day love would blossom between friends?" 

My brother was the dumbest man on the planet, and so was his boyfriend. How the hell is it that neither of them knew or suspected that I was previously involved with the youngest son of the mafia boss of this household and that Lily was so bitter about her love being stolen by Janward that she had sworn off men permanently? 

I shook my head. "She's mad at me. She's not even talking to me," I informed them, earning their attention. 

"What did you do?" asked Kinn, amused. 

"She hates me. She loathes me enough to run away at the mere sight of my reflection," I revealed. It was upsetting; my friend was scared to talk to me and was furious with me after what happened last Friday. She pretended that I didn't exist. The friend who would buy me lunch and cheer me up, was avoiding me like I was the COVID virus. She refused to be anywhere near me. I would most certainly cry if she kept this up. As it is I had a few friends and Lily was the only one who got me.

My brother gave me a concerned glance. "Chay, you're a good kid. There must be some misunderstanding. Lily has been your friend for years," 

Yeah, and you and your mafia boyfriend ruined it.

"Did something happen the night you stayed over at our house?"

"Did your minions report that to you? Didn't they tell you the whole story? I guess they aren't good at their job."

Porsche is worried about my demeanour now. I was mean and angry at him, which was rare. 

"Chay, do you want to talk about this?"

"No. Lily abhors me. And instead of going shopping with me and taking me to the salon, she's going to the hair stylist with Thanapan !" I declared, annoyed. Luke Thanapan was her gay cousin. He recently came out to society and was ready to make his debut officially as a gay man.

I continued eating, as my brother fretted over my alleged heartbreak. Hah, too late, brother. 

I bet he came up with a hundred scenarios as to why 'my girl' was mad at me. I'm sure one of the reasons included something sex-related, the moron. 

"Give her flowers. Send her a big bouquet of flowers," he stated, and I gazed at him like he was a buffoon. "Wait for her to cool down. Have a conversation when she's ready. No matter what she is mad about, send her flowers and apologise. Go to her place and deliver them yourself. Or go to her workplace and wait until her shift ends," he advised. 

My God, this nincompoop believed that this was some lover's quarrel that I had to sort out. She's batshit scared of me; why the hell would she even talk to me? She's worried for her safety. 

"I tried that; it didn't work. And Lily doesn't like flowers. She likes money." I answered, drinking the soup. 

"Give a bouquet with money," suggested Kinn. My God, this man had absolutely no clue how to pursue or apologise to women. Thank God he's gay. 

"Lily will kill me if I do that. She's fiercely independent. She doesn't need any man's help."

"Help her get a new job. Encourage her and motivate her. That way she'll still get it on her own, and you'll still be a reliable man in her eyes," blurted out Kinn. 

I blinked. For once, this man had a point.

"Joong Ki! I love you! How could you die? JOONG KI!" I heard the madman scream from upstairs as both of them began rubbing their temples. 

***

Lily looked like she wanted to shoot me, while simultaneously being afraid of me. We were at the salon, as Luke got his hair cut, and I was sitting next to her, on the couch. “For God’s sake man! Go away before I scream,” she hissed, livid. “Lily, I didn’t do anything to you, why would you scream?” I inquired. “Bro, your bodyguards are two feet away. I don’t want to start shit. Go away,” she said through her teeth, as her cousin was taking a selfie.

“Talk to me Lily,” I insisted. "About your concerns,”

“Bro, its not a concern, I’m in a state of shock. You are weird as hell. I knew your family had debt. Who asked you to get involved with the mafia just to avoid it? Now you are dangerous. Stay away from me and my family. I do not want to get involved with the underworld,” she declared.

“I’m not a part of the mafia,”

“Then why do you have bodyguards?”

“I don’t have a choice,”

“Neither do I. Get the hell away from me, or I’ll scream,”

Thanapan was watching us, and Lily was losing her mind.

“Hanging out with you in public is harmful for me. How do I know that one of your goons won’t kill me?”

I assured her repeatedly that my bodyguards would never harm her. But she had a counter argument. What if one of Kinn's enemies came after her to get back at Kinn?

She knew the whole story. I was the ignoramus to not realise sooner.

I was dumbstruck. I didn’t have an answer. My brother almost got killed. Tomorrow, if one of Anakinn’s enemies decides to attack either major or minor family, we’d all be dead. I recalled watching the guns, goons, and bodyguards, as I was strapped to the gurney.

Imaging Lily being kidnapped, harassed, or being subjected to even more horror was a dark thought. A realistic thought. I dropped the magazine I was holding and gulped. What if something did happen to Lily? Its not just Lily. Gary, Charlie, all of my friends would meet the same fate. They would have to go through the same agony I did, and their families would have deal with my fate. Living in fear, wondering whether my brother and I would live or die.

How did I not think of this sooner?

I could not put everyone at risk.

I remained motionless, as Lily turned pale. I saw her face as she began sweating. "You said that your bodyguards are trained in martial arts?" she questioned and I nodded. "That man has been watching us since the past hour. Either he's one of daddy's debt collectors or one of your enemies. Take a pick. But we have to decide what to do," came her low voice.

"Are you sure he's here for one of us?" I asked, and she affirmed. "Pretend to take a selfie with me. I want this dude's face for future reference," Lily said, and we took many shots with the man in the background. He tried to avoid being caught on camera. Suspicious indeed.

Lily indicated to her cousin that we had company, and he paid the bill. His pepper spray and I ife ready for use. We carefully walked out, as Lily recorded herself, pretending to go live on YouTube.

Indeed, the man followed us for a good two blocks, keeping his distance. The two bodyguards noticed as well. My face turned white as chalk, as I realised how sinister the man looked. Large, burly, black beady eyes and scar on his right eye.

Within seconds, he charged full speed ahead, ready to stab one of us. He had pulled out his large knife and the menacing look on his face made me scream.

All three of us ran at top speed, as a defense. The two bodyguards with us instantly tackled him to the ground and disarmed him. Turns out that he had a knife and a gun. Unfortunately for the bodyguards the guy was big and burly, and very agile. It took him a few seconds to slash one bodyguard's face while the other disarmed him.

Much to my horror, the man escaped as both guards chased after him. Much to our dismay, he hopped into a car and disappeared even before we could blink.

"Oh hell no. That guy was after you Chay. No loan shark is that sophisticated to plan and escape," Lily stated. Thanapan disagreed. He stated that either him or I could have been kidnapped for repayment, hence, the car.

None of us recognised the large man. Thanapan and Lily's fathers owed multiple loan sharks huge amounts of money. Both had mentioned stalking and threatening them. But kidnapping was was an extreme move.

All three of us were convinced that the man had a murderous intent. He either planned to hurt one of us and kidnap us, or kill us. To prove a point. Either way, all of us were frightened out of our wits.

[kygerbearr]

i feel like i'm just in a constant state of having to hold myself back from expressing how i feel abt them because i dont want to make our ten year long friendship awkward for even a single moment which is STUPID because thats the kind of long term friendship you are probably safe doing but like there's sooo much to fucking unpack with it and too many internalized issues to get over

like. i might be agender but i'm still mainly male presenting, and she's female, and I don't want to take any steps that would A.i) reinforce some masculine stereotypes because A.ii) i don't know if she's comfortable around men so i don't want to be perceived as "a guy" whos putting her in an uncomfortable scenario if it IS uncomfortable, and B) we are BOTH asexual aromantic but I don't want her to doubt that about me (she wouldn't but i'm worrying anyways!) and i've always wanted to be a type of guy she didn't have to feel uncomfortable being around (which I am) but now I'm worried about anything that could ruin that. not only can I not take the first step for her sake but I can't take any steps at all. and she's openly been like "yeah i don't think i could ever make the first move" and in my head there's no way I could possibly take that as any kind of hint directed towards me. because how fucking dare i? am i so pig headed that i'd assume anyone let alone her of all people would even entertain the thought of whatever it is i think could be between us? no, of course not. that would be ridiculous.

these are all thoughts and feelings that come up every few years and every single time I just brush them aside because the risk is too huge. I care too deeply about her losing anything and I know that our friendship is something she appreciates so I can't do ANYTHING that could ever possibly jeopardize that. so they get pushed down again and again. but we're adults now, and the older we both get the more we realize that eventually there is a cutoff (there isn't, but there is a perceived cutoff) and because of that all the stuff we put off our whole lives gets pushed into the spotlight, because time is (perceived to be) running out and we have to address things eventually. which means i will need to address it eventually. i mean, i'm 23 now, she's like 26 or something, how many more years am I going to keep going without conveying how much i care about her and anything that happens to her. anything that's important to her is important to me.

and I worry because it feels like there's no one who cares about her to the degree that she deserves. i'm afraid that it will one day be too late to convey to her the sheer impact her existence has on everyone she knows and that everyone is so much better for it. i wish it was normal to express ideas like that.

and on paper all of that sounds fucking crazy and intense but that's just because i can't express exactly how it is for me. anything i feel towards her is subtle, but it's there, and it matters, and it makes me sad to think that i won't get to express that because she deserves to know, but the situation cannot allow for her to know. it's all an endless cycle

and like. i don't know. i'm hoping that writing it down will help me go back to ignoring it all and get my head back in reality, the reality where i'm aware of what's there and what isn't, and that the only way forward is to continue ignoring your feelings, that it's better not to risk it if it means ensuring no one is made uncomfortable. that even if all of it was true it wouldn't matter because she's in canada and when the fuck are you going to canada? your ass is staying in the desert bro get real

[moderndavetherapy]

Perfection

Remember Covid?

The whole world shifted and life as we knew it changed with the introduction of this new virus. Wearing masks, cashing stimulus checks, and getting furloughed was the new status quo. The impact Covid had upon society was just as big if not bigger than it had on an individual person. Take that it in....

Covid-19. The latest plague that could weaken your well-being, take away your taste, ruin your respiratory system, and lose your life. Not only could you be killed, but you were guaranteed to be changed at a minimum. The way it altered society was off the charts. Schooling, working, grocery shopping, eating, and simply living were all affected in a negative way. From being deemed vital to finding out you lost your career were two sides of a coin flip that even the most degenerate bettors couldn't quench.

Even though we live in an era filled with scientific and technological advancements beyond the average brain, the human race just can't seem to dodge or dismantle physical and mental illness. These cancers and curses spread like a wildfire, burning up the entire family tree making it its destiny to reach your soul. Three cups of asthma, half a cup of depression, one teaspoon of hypertension and a dash of bipolar is the recipe for one David carbonara.

Lately, theres been one "bug" thats been doing more destruction than Hitler during Nazi Germany. That would be the infection of perfection...

There's got to be at least one asshole thinking, "I can't wait to hear about this privileged white fool's first world problem of not getting the CEO promotion or getting a new Tesla cyber truck in the wrong color." Touche', but hear me out...

Somewhere during the times when I was wee lad, we got a few things twisted and I've been tangled ever since. Ma always said, "Just do your best and everything will be alright." From exquisite performances across all avenues of my life: piano recitals, baseball diamonds, classrooms, laboratories, and damn near everywhere I've been, success has been found with an absence of happiness.

I remember being twelve years old walking away from my favorite place on earth, the little league baseball field. I thought there was a chance I'd be on Sportscenter the next day, after a starstruck performance of going 3-3, 3 HR 6RBI. The ugliest part about the statline was we didn't win the game. As I walked towards my mom's grey honda civic with my three homerun balls in hand, all I could think about was what I could have done different to change the outcome of the game. Instead of celebrating the best game of my life, I played out thousands of scenarios from separate timelines in which the win would've been obtained.

Alright alright, instead of reliving some childhood memories let's take a look at something a little more recent. I took my last job in the cannabis industry as an extraction technician. Essentially my job was to transform flower into various concentrates and my motto was, "Fire in, fire out." I remember my first run, tightening the bolts of a steel column that I just filled with fresh frozen material. My new boss gave me the standard parameters for their system, but I had some other ideas in mind. I'll never forget the liquid gold that poured like honey out of the collection column into the glass baking sheet. I found my favorite metal spatula and started whipping the eventual badder, imagining I was on Hell's Kitchen being watched by Gordon Ramsey. After all post processing was completed and all solvents were purged, it turned into a waiting games as the testing facility diagnosed the samples to determine the results. After four days, I was called into the lab director's office and was interrogated like I was on trial. After learning I had produced one of the best products the company had every seen (one that won the 2020 Jack Herer Cup for Best Sativa Concentrate) I spent more time focusing on the flaws, rather the success. I ignored the obscenely high terpene and THC % results and complained about the slight dryness of the product. Instead of accepting the praise and compliments from coworkers, all that ran through my mind was what could be perfected.

I get it, to some, it may some come off like I'm bitching about minor imperfections. Some kids never get to play organized sports and some adults never get a choice in the careers. That's not the point I'm trying to make. There have been numerous success stories of my life that have resulted in dismay, due to misconstruing trying my best for perfection.

As kids, we are urged to shoot for the stars and strive for greatness. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. My favorite athlete is and always will be Kobe Bryant. He didn't win every championship, or even make every clutch shot, but I love him most for his work ethic and mentality. Kobe once said, "I was chasing perfection and excellence, even though I knew I will probably never catch it." I can understand that nobody is or ever will be perfect, but I struggle with accepting it.

Something still hasn't fully clicked between understanding and accepting. I'm not trying to defy gravity or take over the world, but I can't help but think I could've done better in every situation. This nightmare in my overanalytical mind, that runs like Usain Bolt, has led to countless sleepless nights. These sleepless nights allow the infection to spread like a cancer that slowly deteriorates my dreams. It's almost a paradox in itself. Why strive for perfection, when it can never be obtained? Why practice a craft that can never be perfected? The answer is plain and simple...because we can.

The infection of perfection has slowly loosened its' grip upon my throat and I've been able to let out a gasp of relief. I'm not only embracing, but ACCEPTING, that one can perform their best and still make countless mistakes. Most importantly...ITS ALRIGHT! It's fine to keep up with hobbies and activities that you enjoy doing, even if you're not very good at them. We are slowly getting in the habit of being happy knowing that I did everything I could, even if the results are not what we desire. I can go to sleep in peace at night, knowing I didn't execute perfectly. The infection of perfection has enabled me to put forth extraordinary efforts and a work ethic that cannot be learned. I am thankful for that aspect.

Chasing perfection can lead one to new heights and even make the world a better place. Imagine the world without Steve Jobs or Stanley Kubrick. This mindset allowed these two to reach new levels of success. As I've learned more about who I am, I know I will continue the never-ending chase of perfection...

The only difference is that I will now acknowledge my flaws and simply move past them in acceptance, rather than dwell in a fictitious reality I've deemed the Infection of Perfection.

[thedarkermelody]

teehees and grabs your hands, we'll go into the hole. together. [still tf one spoilers under here folks]

[i'll also use galvatron for alt megas] ough i like to imagine the Matrix is a Matrix, no matter the universe, yeah its' not the one that's suppose to be there, but even if it's a square hole the triangle peg can still go in. in a universe where OP didn't rise, i can imagine that resources would eventually run fully dry and make this a Cybertron that is not viable for life [maybe Primus is in statis following being mined through dry. Hollowed out, maybe it hasn't tried to find another Prime seeing what's lurking on them or maybe currently just not anyone suitable for Prime right now.]

Anyways, could always bring back the star eater machine thanks only thing in bayverse that seemed cool something those science minded put their backs all in to build in a world desperate for energy source. [Insert losing the light and being lost in the dark metaphor here.]

to be fair i think the thing that could have Optimus off guard enough to kidnapped, is a weakness that Galvatron would see and pounce on after going over those glitched memory files over and over for how to do this. -misses his friend, he misses him so badly it's like someone craved out his chest- just like pax's when he let him go- hes gone gone gone-

Something he and this Prime share. Unfortunately just cause they are enemies doesn't mean Megs and OP don't have an understanding of the other still even when it's something only built from violence and war now. Though I think he'd be caught off guard he'd only realize this isn't Megatron when it's too late to get away.

Now back onto Alt world to change topics, if the Quintessons aren't a problem, I feel like that it's fully possible the Decepticons would have started galactic level hunting to get energy for their society. If they are at war, then they are hard pressed to keep the assault up and ensure they have power which. Oof. That would make anyone insane enough to kidnap your dead friend from another universe if you thought they could help, even if you weren't a Megatron (who can never to anything but the extreme cause he is Just Like That)

The thing is Galvatron has ruled in this world for a long time, his broken trust from Sentinel and the deeply personal way he took it out would have influenced society you cannot tell me OP would not be at risk from some zealous loyalists who think the Prime has to Die. And don't know the Matrix can just fuck off at Will so what's the big deal [Slaps Tarn on the ass, this bitch can fit so much overzealot in him- /j] it would piss off Galvatron though and give him a chance to show off just how off the deep end he's gone in reaction to someone trying to kill Optimus, who would be horrified at someone being killed like that. Cause Optimus is a good person.

[Do I think Sentinel deserved to live? No he ruined many lifes, killed all the leaders of the planet, demoted a whole sub class of people to slaves/lesser then human with his actions. But it wasn't wrong of Pax to not want him to be murdered, to not want to declare themselves judge jury executor. Points at G1 Movie where that exact scenario is how we meet a Quintesson] Optimus though be in an awful scenario, cause he cares for his people, fellow transformers. If he can call the energon to flow on his world and make their lifes better, you know he would, he would so fast if he hadn't be in a war and understood just who would be in control of that Energon. that conflict would hurt cause OP has been fighting megatron and knows the depth of what power a megatron could do with a steady energy source in war. Now consider him having to think about Galvatron, waging interdimensional wars, if he isn't already commiting galactic ones.

The idea of Orion Pax getting doorstuck so no Prime! hit me like a truck i felt bad about how funny it was. Buuuuuuut you have to also consider in that route, just how BAD IT IS for this Universe's OP. To him he tried to stop his friend from killing Sentinel and was shot through by him, and then his friend dropped him to his death. That's the last memory he'd have coming back into this dimension in the present. He'd be up against his own friend whose been established and it be. Rough. I do love a good Hot Rod story too though, the idea of Prime managing to escape while on the run from Galvatron, and ends up in meeting a collection of bots who has a transformers that makes him think of him and D-16 back when they were still innocent...

Also for the energon going dry on universe one, i think that's a fun idea to think about! If it doesn't immediately stop but starts to slow, people would get tipped them off and cause a crisis cause what happened to Optimus! This panic being why Decepticons learn Optimus has gone missing missing cause you know the Autobots would try and hide that shit as long as they could while overturning everything looking for their leader. Megatron breaking the door to the Autobot base like that one big bird door meme: WHERE IS OPTIMUS PRIME!!!! The autobots: torn between the girlie screamers and the shoot first shoot second lot at this happening

includes transformers one spoilers under this i have thoughts that need an outlet after seeing the movie [after writing: this is basically a fanfic idea at this point. whoops]

the birth of megatron was so fucking hard hitting, the utter disgust megatron associates with primes thanks to sentinel that his exe friend now reps? ow anyways just, scenario idea where in sometime with the civil war between autobot and decepticons has been on for awhile you got megatron waking one day to himself as the supreme decepticon emperor of cybertron. the idea he was just fighting to take cybertron is almost distance in this strange scenario, just out of reach as he basks in his empire. before he thinks of Optimus. and of course he does, though he would love nothing more to crush and finally destroy the system of primes, all their lies and threat to his power forever, the problem with that lies in one thing. the matrix. sentinel pried it from zeta only for it to flee. megatron is better then sentinel that monster he is superior and right but the whims of a god just whisking away their source of energy is one he knows he cannot overcome for now until they learn to trap the matrix for good without a prime needed. but of course his call for prime has a reminder they smelted sentinel and buried him deep in the earth to rot for his crimes after his execution as justice to the miners who died. what? he wants to know where optimus prime is! which sparks confusion. A. New Prime? no one questions their lord to his face other then starscream asking if he's having hallucinations about a new prime since he didn't get to savor ending the traitor. of course megatron wouldn't like that kind of quip or snipe remark starscream might say, and choke out the seeker as his thoughts clash Optimus who? the thought is so wild so rage inducing cause OPTIMUS! OPTIMUS PRIME! HIS VILE ENEMY. The- -the traitor he dropped to his death? megatron throws starscream and orders everyone out, who run from their unpredictable leader as he sits on his throne clutching his helm. prime. PRIME DAMMIT. there isn't a prime, he killed the last one and ended their lies, WHERE IS OPTIMUS-! his thoughts fight against each other as conflicting memories clash against another mech's who finds it hard to even think of prime and his rise. which is insane- the traitor died for daring to defend sentinel- OPTIMUS ROSE with his DEATH- he killed elita and b and took the helm of cybertron- No, Prime came and fought him and banished him like the coward he is- never was willing to finish the job which is why he died- the clarity of just what the other voice in his head saying hits as hard as the day he learned his life was a lie. He killed Orion Pax and no one rose in his place. The Primes are dead in this world. and doesn't that hurt, the owner of this body starts to rips through the memory files that has be inserted in his helm for the one of a new enemy rising, sees video of him with the matrix and thinks 'why.' megatron fights back against, seeing a world never had energy flow again, everyone who dared voice against him and rein having tcogs ripped out for the victims of the system to reclaim something ravenous claws at the memories of megatron, of life flowing on their world again, of orion pax optimus prime and what they had stolen, taken, refused to them, their world dying without the matrix, struggling to fight the quintessons and steal back what was taken from him in the first place. but this brief event that caused this eventually boots megatron back to his own world, leaving behind a mech who cackles with a fevor that belies the insanity in them. the one on the throne rises his helm and swears it. He will have what that world has. -ending notes! i briefly considered having this other world's leader now be a galvatron, didn't follow through on the idea but you can consider it him if you want. -i imagine a world where op never rose is a very hard one for the transformers to just survive much less thrive, seeing a world where your friend didn't stay dead from what you did with natural energy resources again? would be the kind of thing any leader would crave for themselves in this situation.

-if this other worlder would try and find a way to get to that world or try and force find a prime to have that for themselves is your call.

in the case of a galvatron on the throne world, can have a hot rod in a scenario of trying to find a prime to bring underheel to win their war and restore their planet makes sense, though if galvatron exists in this one cause of a deal for power from unicorn then that would be awkward...

though a far more hardened megatron kidnapping op whose in the middle of two front war is also a very hilarious vision cause you know that guy would inspite of the kidnapping want to help this other version of his home, though he'd REALLY like to go home

[smallestapplin]

Hi! first off I wanna say that I ADORE your writting and ideas, your blog is one of my top faves 100% (inspired me to write my own fic too🥺)

(also if you've done somthing similar before I'd love to read it too, even if it's not th twins)

if it's okay to ask (and bc I've been reading a lot of angst lately lol) of something around the idea of reader being hurt by an alpha or a strong pokemon, like real hurt life-threatening injury classic gash/stab in the abdomen, Ingo was there but couldn't prevent it on time or do something about it;

idk if it's super specific but that one theme abt them knowing they have feelings for eachother for a while but haven't expressed them yet, then comes a tragedy/problem (but it'll be fine) and tension builds when reader just keeps brushing it off in pain while the other breaks down and confesses their love and worry bc losing them scares him so much, I'm srry I'm just weak for those scenarios, hope it's not too much 🤧

🥺 really!? I feel so honored! Thank you! Ah words can’t describe how happy this makes me! And your idea is amazing!!!

TW : injury and blood, nothing descriptive but thought I’d give a warning. 

-

-

When you asked Ingo to help you out with a pokedex entry he thought it would going to be some nice bonding time.

The Warden knew the highlands like the back of his hand, and when you asked him to help you find some nosepasses he was more than happy to. Seeing has he has a probopass.

He recalls you laughing that you might just be over looking them since they tend to stand still.

Ingo loved you laugh, the whole time you’ve been here you’ve done nothing but capture his heart. He was hoping with this trip he could finally confess his feelings towards you.

Hours you two had been at this, having found some but still needing more for the pokedex Ingo takes you to the ruins.

Having snuck around the alpha Luxray that guards that path.

“I’ll go first and then you jump down, I’ll catch you.”

You chuckle “I don’t doubt that.”

The warden’s face is dusted a light pink before he climbs his way down the ledge.

His feet were just about to touch the ground when a loud roar echoes through the air, followed by the sound of electricity zapping.

Ingo snaps his head up to see the aftermath and you falling over from the zap. Your back hitting the ground with a thud.

He yells out your name when the large Luxray pounces on you, your hands shakily holding its open jaw back from taking a bite.

Ingo quickly throws Gliscor’s ball up on the ledge just as your pained scream echoes in the highlands. Gliscor is quick to to tackle the giant cat off of you, but you don’t move even after the Luxray runs off.

Ingo is frantically climbing back up to reach you. He gets there just as you’re trying to sit up.

He bites his lip to hold back the scream he feels bubbling inside his throat, the ground beneath you coated red.

“Don’t move, I got you.” He is trying to keep calm for you, but he is panicking. The fear of losing you is all too real now.

“I’m fine, don’t worry about it.” Your voice is straining to form words.

Your hand not once leaving your stomach.

“How bad is it.”

“Don’t worry, nothing but blood and cuts.” You weakly laugh at your own joke.

“This is no time for jokes! I’ll call Lady Sneasler.” He was already reaching for his flute.

“You don’t have to, it’s not that bad.” You move to stand but a forced back down.

“I am seeing things that shouldn’t be on the outside, now you lay right here and don’t move.” You’ve never heard Ingo sound so aggressive and panicked.

The a loud echo of the flute it was not a waiting game.

Ingo sits right next to you applying pressure to the large gashes in your stomach. His breathing is short and quick and his eyes keep darting between your face and your stomach.

“Ingo, I’m gonna be fine.”

But it was like he couldn’t hear you.

He didn’t make it in time, he failed to protect you, he was late and now you’re paying the price for his foolishness.

He hadn’t realized he was crying until he felt your free hand gently wiping away the stray tears.

“I’m sorry I’m all bent out of sharp.” You hoped your pun would lighten the mood.

All it earned you was a frustrated growl.

“You could die here and all you can do is make jokes!?”

You flinch at his yelling.

“I could lose you right here and now, I was late, I couldn’t protect you, you’re hurt because I couldn’t get to you on time. I love you so much, please…”

His body shakes with each sob. Leaning his cheek into your palm just when you two hear Sneasler’s yowl and her sprinting toward your two.

“We will go to the galaxy team camp site and head back to the village.” Ingo quickly says, carefully lifting you and placing you in Sneasler’s basket.

The two run back to camp, calling out to the professor the situation.

Even in the way back the two men can only watch in horror at the bottom of Lady Sneasler’s white basket turning crimson.

Ingo and Laventon would take turns calling out to you to make sure you were still conscious. You stopped responding once they neared the gates.

It was chaos.

The medical staff rushed around, Pesselle barking orders the second you were on the bed, the severity made Pesselle wonder if you were even going to make it.

As time continued marching on Ingo never left the building, waiting to see if he could see you.

Pesselle gave him the green light once she was sure you were stable.

“They will be out for a while, I’ve already talked to Cyllene, they aren’t allowed to go on mission for two months of all goes well, no heavy lifting either, not even the weight of a rowlet, understood?”

Ingo nods “yes ma’am, I’ll make sure they follow those accordingly.”

Pesselle hums before taking her leave.

Ingo sat right by your side the entire time only ever leaving to use the bathroom, everyone who visited usually ended up bringing him something to eat.

“The hero always told you to eat, wouldn’t want to upset them.”

Those were the only words that would make him eat.

“So you like me?”

The warden could strangle you. Those are the first words you said to him when you woke up, looking at him with a crooked smile.

His soft laughter made your heart swell.

“I do, I really do, but if you worry me like that again I might be the one in the medical beds.”

You just smile contently and relax.

“Want to go on a date after I get out?”

“Oh dear, you have two months off work, dates are all you’re going to be able to do.”

“……TWO MONTHS!?”

You toss your head back with a loud displeased groan.

Ingo is happy to have you awake, though he truly could strangle you for your jokes, it was nice to know he’d hear them once again.

[hozierandco]

Callum Turner x Reader - After-match, Part One (smut)

A/N: Since I'm very much obsessed with Callum Turner at the moment, I felt it was only fair I give it a go. It gets smutty towards the end, announcing a second part that will be extremely smutty. Read at your own risk.

When Callum's favourite football team is qualified for the final, Y/N has an idea in mind for the after-match. For obvious reasons, set before Covid.

"Chelsea qualified for the Final!", Callum shouted with a large grin on his lips and a tear hanging "Chelsea's in final!"

On the other side of the apartment they shared was Y/N who was watching Vikings on her computer. She shut down the laptop and reached out for her boyfriend of two years, throwing herself in his arms "Yeah! Good job! I'm sure you screaming for most of the game has something to do with it"

"Hey! For once, it's not you who's screaming!" Callum smiled with an even bigger smile, proudly exhibiting his teeth. He plucked Y/N off the floor and kissed her while she was still in his embrace "They're going to that bloody final!"

Y/N who could not resist her boyfriend's smile, joined in and together they started singing Three Lions.

There were four days until the final since the other team still had to get qualified. Although Y/N was not much of a football supporter, when a competition was on, she could not do any other way than to hear about it.

Callum was passionate to say the least. Chelsea in the final of the Premier League was absorbing all his energy. It was a miracle he was in London for it and not on yet another set. Y/N wanted her beau all for herself but a round ball was in the way and she could not compete. Or maybe she could?

Tottenham Hotspur would fight against Chelsea. Callum was more than excited at the idea of such a great game. An ecstatic Callum was even sexier than the usual version of him, which was already pretty damn irresistible.

But anytime Y/N teased Callum, hinting at the fact that he could take care of her, there was a notification popping on his phone: "Harry Kane hurt during training, could remain on the touch", "According to specialists, could be the greatest game of the season", "Bet on Upcoming Games", which distracted him from her.

Callum had been invited by a friend to see the game and eat pizza at his. In the meantime, Y/N would have a night out with the girls.

As Callum was about to leave on the night of the game with a pack of lager, Y/N stopped him as he passed the bedroom. Her too was close to leave and was finishing her makeup as her lipstick was in her hand.

"Hey! You were not going to leave without telling me goodbye, were you?"

"Fuck! You look gorgeous in that dress!", he nearly dropped the beers when he saw Y/N in a black dress made of velvet. The fabric was stroking her lines whereas the tiny straps showed her soft arms.

"I have a deal for you", Y/N offered as she drew a wave of red on her upper lip.

"Oh yeah?" Callum asked playfully as he grasped her hip with the hand that was empty, to have her closer to him. He was only a few inches of fabric away from her nudity and had to fight his urge to remove her dress.

Y/N came even closer as she whispered in his ear "If Tottenham wins, I get to do anything I want with you tonight. But if it's Chelsea, then I'll let you do anything" She went back to seeing him eye to eye "Deal?"

"That doesn't sound fair"

"No?"

"No... I mean you know nothing about football.. With Kane down, Chelsea stands its chance of winning"

"Who said I didn't want Chelsea to win?"

Callum held back a noise that got stuck in his throat and that ressembled an animalistic growl.

"Y/N... I swear if I wasn't already late, I would have ruined that dress of yours by now"

Y/N smiled and for sole answer kissed Callum on the cheek. Callum's phone buzzed to signal him his cab had arrived.

"I'll see you later, baby!", Callum said on the threshold, ready to hurtle down the stairs.

"Can't wait!"

Callum took the cab he had booked towards Islington where his friend lived. It was not until he was seated in the back that he felt a slight discomfort in the region of his crotch. That bloody dress, he thought to himself, hoping his erection would disappear by the end of the journey.

***

"Hi!", Melina, Y/N's colleague cried when the latter arrived at the pub.

The parvis in front of the establishment was packed with supporters who in turns had Tottenham's or Chelsea's scarves.

"Hey! How you're doing? Do you think we could go somewhere less crowded?"

"Are you kidding? It's the final. Anywhere we'll go, it's gonna be like that!", Melina had raised her voice to be heard.

"... At least here they serve a great fish'n'chips", Charlotte added.

Well at least she would know her fate for the rest of the night.

In Islington, Callum arrived. The commentators were already getting excited on the telly as Callum could hear from the threshold.

Callum hugged everyone there after he had set the beers on the table. Amongst them were comedians that he had met during film festivals but had not seen in years.

If the whole friend group was loud at first, making small talk and helping themselves to pizza, when the anthem started, they all got quiet.

The pub too went silent. In both the pub and at Callum's reunion, everyone had their hand on their bosom and sang along the players and the stands.

"Welcome everyone! The game starts now!", one commentator explained.

The defence was good on both sides and the tension began growing.

One missed opportunity for Chelsea later, Y/N received a text.

Cal, 9.14 pm: It's gonna be a long night Y/N, 9.16 pm: You have no idea!

Then, the release came.

Callum and his friends echoed the neighbourhood's screams.

"It's a goal for Chelsea!", the commentator exulted in the back though no one was paying attention to him, too busy celebrating the action.

"We'll be back after the break"

Cal, 9.53 pm: You can already take your underwear off. It's coming home, baby!

Y/N, 9.54 pm: Don't wear any...

Callum nearly choked on a slice of pizza when reading his girl's text. It would indeed be a long night.

The game was on again. Was it the excitement winning the crowd over or the humiliation of the goal they could not have stopped but Tottenham marked only seven minutes later.

Y/N, 10.11 pm: Looks like you'll be all mine tonight after all!

Cal, 10.14 pm: Ain't I always?

Y/N was now fully engrossed in the game, on the edge of her seat, careful as not to miss anything from her chosen team.

"You've kept your cards close to your chest. You're into football after all, huh?" Carey, a friend from college teased Y/N.

"Cal and I have a bet for tonight. My life depends on it"

The six friends laughed at the remark.

A session of penalty shoot-out had been whistled by the referee to settle a final result.

Cal, 10.51 pm: Good luck, baby! Y/N, 10. 51 pm: To you too, Cal!

The situation was excruciating. All the attendees in the bar were biting their nails. Callum and his friends had stopped drinking and in fact were competing as to know would hold their breath for the longest time.

The very last shot was for Eden Hazard, on Chelsea's side. If he marked, Y/N would have to surrender to Callum's fantasies. But if he missed the net, she could put to the test all the scenarios she had in her mind for the past few days.

Eden Hazard advanced on the penalty area, breathing in and out. Y/N breathed in and out too. Callum had won the breath-holding contest.

A few seconds later, the referee whistled the end of the game, making cheerful and despondent people in the audience.

[spockandawe]

There’s something about Shen Jiu that really sticks with me in a way that not many characters do. And I can’t stop prodding at that and trying to figure out what it is! And today, what I’ve shaken out of the story is that Shen Jiu embodies a lot of pretty visceral fears.

There is... a lot that goes wrong in his life. And given the role he has in the story, there’s no kind of miracle fix that comes in to solve his problems at any point. It’s much more likely that whatever breaking point someone else pushes him to (killing qiu jianluo) or whatever partial resolution he manages to claw out for himself (entering cang qiong, even if it’s much older than usual) will be weaponized against him in some way. Even in the happier timeline, it’s only happier for him in that he doesn’t have to be tortured or learn that yue qingyuan is dead. Instead, he dies, very young, and the few people who would have mourned him don’t do so, because they don’t know that he’s gone (which is another wrenching fear, the idea of disappearing and nobody around you even noticing). His life is a worst-case scenario, and originally it’s something that happens to a deeply unsympathetic character, so hey, whatever, right? Yes, except for everything the rest of the story reveals.

So, I will go ahead and assume that most people reading this book have not been purchased by a young master and mistreated and forcibly engaged to his sister. Probably not not the most common backstory. But a lot of people have Been Through something, whether that was thanks to outside forces, bad luck with brain chemistry, or hell, just the stress of something like living through a long pandemic. It’s not that rare to live through an experience that leaves you wondering if what has happened to you left you.... damaged, or broken. It’s not usually a good idea to linger on, and humans are capable of a lot of recovery, but--

Shen Jiu gets to find out that yes, absolutely, it did damage him, in practical and emotional ways that he failed to recover from, external and internal. When Liu Qingge wants to upset him later, all he has to do is make a dig that ‘even if talent doesn’t guarantee high achievement, it’s still better than starting to learn at age sixteen, lmao.’ And Shen Jiu refuses to admit that he’s going to the brothel just to sleep, because ‘seeing women and saviors and huddling in their arms for comfort’ is shameful. I don’t expect to ever fret about how I started cultivating too late in life, but the idea of receiving that confirmation that something was measurably, observably lost in me, that sinks a nasty hook deep into my stomach.

And I don’t want to get distracted with a whole rant about this, but Qi-ge “abandoning” him at this same time is an absolutely brutal thing to throw into the mix. It tears both of them up so badly that they can’t even begin resolving it before they die, but as far as Shen Jiu knows, someone he adored and trusted just... forgot about him. It was too much trouble to come back for him. Against the odds, Yue Qi found a spot in a cultivation sect, had connections and power, and either forgot to come back for Shen Jiu or decided it wasn’t worth doing. The end of extra thirteen, slightly rephrased, would be ‘it would have hurt shen jiu less to learn that yue qi was dead than to learn he chose not to come back for him.’ Again, confirmation of a fear that you want to believe is irrational. No, the people you care about aren’t just waiting for an excuse to get away from you. Except for Shen Jiu... mm.

But what really, really got to me was the whole Binghe situation. The discourse scene is uhhh spicy right now, so let’s be real explicit that the way he treated Binghe was inexcusable. But what put the nail in my emotional coffin was realizing, again, that it’s about the fear that your experiences have damaged you. Not just the fear that they’ve damaged you, the fear that they’ve poisoned you, that they’ve affected you in more ways than you’ve already noticed, and that no matter how you try to leave your mark on the world, you’re doomed to ruin everything you touch. The last few 79 extras are very hard for me to read, because Shen Jiu’s conversation with Yue Qingyuan is so much about his awareness of how he’s responsible for shaping Luo Binghe, and then his conversation with Luo Binghe is about his realization that simple proximity to him was enough to doom Yue Qingyuan to a terrible death. It’s absolutely suffocating, the idea that you yourself are a poison in other people’s lives, in ways that you’re completely unaware of.

There we go, that’s enough being sad about Shen Jiu for the day. I kid, there are not enough hours in the day for being sad about Shen Jiu. But it’s time to go accomplish other things while being sad, because my mind has been circling around these ideas all day.

[sugamamacustard]

Come see me

Pairing: Alpha! Tetsuro Kuroo X Omega! Reader

Genre: Minor Angst, but other than that, fluffy cuddle piles. 

Request: Hi kinda nervous to request this since I'm very shy but..Is it okay to request a scenario where omega reader is feeling very insecure and jealous after idk like some new person comes in the pack and everyone is paying attention to them and reader feels very neglected but keeps quiet, starts spending more time with their friends and avoids the pack and their alpha. And then the pack plus alpha notices and drags reader back, and reassures them, and the entire pack cuddles and hug reader. Kinda like angst to fluff. Could be any team and any alpha. Though I prefer kuroo and nekoma. Sorry if it's too long I've always wanted an imagine like this. You don't have to do it if you don't wanna tho! I was just asking :)Have a good day💜

Summary:  Being a manager for Nekoma was a thankless job, but one you were proud to do. You were surrounded by alphas who wanted what was best for you and in turn, you wanted what was best for them. However, sometimes what’s best for them...may not be best for you or your omega.

Warnings: Jealous omega! reader, reader almost goes into an omega depression, small angst,

Author’s Note: No need to be shy, darling! This is my first request for this blog so I’m super excited to write this and to fulfill my first request.!

Requests: Open!

Tetsuro Kuroo

➵ Originally, the idea of another manager for the Nekoma team excited you.

➵ You were really pumped to have an extra set of hands on board to help keep scores, or pick up balls, or put up and take down nets. 

➵ To have someone else to joke and laugh with on the sidelines while Yaku was yelling at Lev, or to assist you in prying Kenma’s switch from his hands so he can eat.

➵ Having another manager seemed like such a good idea. A new friend for the pack. 

➵ Until it wasn’t. 

➵ Ichika was a kind and sweet girl in class 2-B (You were in 2-D), and originally you and her got along well.

➵ Your omega didn’t outright hate her, more of an indifference, and your personalities melded well together.

➵ And from what you’ve heard from her friends, she talked about the boys on the volleyball team a lot.

➵ So you figured she would be a good fit. 

➵ However, you weren’t certain on it anymore.

➵ Maybe she was too good of a fit. 

➵ ‘You’re being silly’ You told yourself. 

➵ ‘She’s getting to know the team, that’s all’ You practically chanted in your head like a mantra.

➵ ‘She’s honing in on our pack. Our alpha.’ Your omega sneered, padding in a circle before flopping down, growling lowly.  You tried reminding her that Kuroo was nothing more than a captain. 

➵ An attractive captain who who you found yourself finding every opportunity in the book to talk too. But that was fine print. 

➵ He was not your alpha. He was the commanding alpha of the volleyball team, but not yours. 

➵ And maybe that was what hurt most. Knowing you had Zero claim on anyone in the pack, therefore you had no right to demand the attention.

➵ They gave their attention to who they wanted. 

➵ Even if nowadays, it seemed to be Ichika more and more often then not. 

➵ It hurt, when you both would be sitting on the sidelines and Inuoka would brush right past you to chat with Ichika.

➵ Or when you both would be passing out towels and water bottles and they only thanked her. 

➵ It began hurting to the point you had to bite down whines or whimpers. Your omega was upset, therefore you were even more upset. But they seemed happy,

➵ Who were you to ruin that? 

➵ Just because you saw them as pack, doesn’t mean they saw you in the same light. 

➵ You tried pushing away that god awful thought, but it was planted and nothing was moving it. 

➵ And whether you noticed it or not, you were acting on that thought.

➵ You didn’t stay after practice for anyone, instead cleaning up quickly and efficiently while the boys were in the change room. 

➵ Leaving behind your notes for that day’s practice along with the gym keys right in front of the door. 

➵ You didn’t wait for anyone and took a different way home so no-one would try to walk with you.

➵ You needed to separate from them, even if it hurt. Even if you cried on the way home. Even if you stayed in your nest from the minute you got home to the minute you had to leave for school the next day.

➵ Even if your meals got smaller and smaller. 

➵ You never sat with the team anymore, Ichika taking your spot like she belonged there. 

➵ Instead you sat with a group of friends from your class. They never asked any questions, which you were thankful for. 

➵ You began wearing scent blocking patches to hide your scent, hide the sour note that almost always accompanied it. 

➵ You just...tried to disappear. You still fulfilled your manager duties as you always did, but never more. 

➵ Never gave words of encouragement. No pointers on how to improve. No jokes on Lev’s behalf. No nothing. 

➵ And holy shit, that Irked Kuroo. 

➵ He was always so excited for practices at the end of the day because that was when he would get to show off in front of you. 

➵ Prove he was a strong alpha. 

➵ He would admit, he liked you...A lot. He was even working on a future courting gift (It was a bracelet with intricate beading that looked almost like a cuff) but was having a few difficulties so couldn’t gift it to you yet.

➵ However, you were pulling away. 

➵ Away from him. Away from the pack. Just away. 

➵ You barely even glanced their way anymore.

➵ During practice, you just sat there, completed homework, then took notes. He never saw you after that.

➵ He tried to pack up as fast as he possibly could at the end of practice but was always late. You were always, without fail, gone. No trace of you ever being there except the notes you left in your wake with the keys. 

➵ His alpha kept barking at him to stop you. To come up with any excuse to keep you here long enough for him to walk you home in the very least. But you were always gone.

➵ He tried everything, but you seemed one step ahead of him. 

➵ His alpha blamed Ichika. Ever since she showed up you began pulling away.

➵ Were you jealous? Were you angry with them for trying to keep her away?

➵ They only put up with her because it was obvious you didn’t like her. So they tried keeping her away. 

➵ Was that backfiring on them? 

➵ Kuroo didn’t even know why there was another manager. You were perfect for them. Like a puzzle piece. Their personal cheerleader. 

➵ Maybe school was piling on you?

➵ No. You always went to him for help.

➵ Maybe the duties were too much?

➵ No because you were still doing them all.

➵ Come to think of it, what was Ichika even doing? 

➵ She did nothing except fawn over them and purr over their skills, which was nice for the ego boost at first, but soon just got annoying when she tried scenting them.

➵ It seemed she was fixated on him especially, trying to rub her neck all over him only for him to push her off with a growl. He had only scented two people in his life. 

➵ Kenma, because he needed the practice, and you, which was why he practiced. 

➵ And he planned to keep it that way. 

➵ But you were still staying away. So he scented no one. 

➵ The final straw was a Friday practice. 

➵ You were sitting a ways a way in the corner, doing your work with your jacket wrapped in front of you like a boundary. 

➵ His heart hurt at the thought of you feeling the need to recluse yourself like this.

➵ He made a motion to Kenma, his co-commanding alpha, who nodded before making his way to you. 

➵ As he should’ve predicted, Ichika intercepted him. She tried to hug him, but he dodged, side stepping and trying to get to you, but she persisted.

➵ “Why don’t you give me the same attention you give her, huh? Rumor has it she’s been bordering on dropping for days, nothing but attention seeking in my humble opinion.”

➵   He paused in his efforts, looking down to her once more.

➵ “I’m sorry?” 

➵ Ichika rolled her eyes. “It’s been all over school. Surprised you haven’t heard. She skips lunch more often than not, nowadays. People have even started bets as to when she finally drops. Real shame though. Gonna miss having someone else do all the work.”

➵ You were missing lunches. Lunches were meals he could guarantee you ate, and you suddenly weren’t doing so anymore. He was failing you.

➵ You were dropping right under their noses and as your pack they were watching it happen. 

➵ As your head alpha, and hopefully future alpha, he was watching you drift away and ultimately fade from him.

➵ He was watching this happen?!

➵ What part of this was okay?! None of it. 

➵ He was loosing you. Hell, if he hadn’t lost you already. 

➵ No. You were here, at school, He still had time. He still had a chance. He still had- his jacket and bento. 

➵  Turning tail, the alpha made his way to his bag, digging out the bento (Come to think of it, he hadn’t been eating much since this whole debacle started anyway) and grabbing his jacket before making his way to you once more.

➵ He didn’t pay any mind to Ichika, this time fully shoving past her to get to you. 

➵ You looked up to him skeptically, watching as the alpha, the head alpha, bent to lay on his knees, slowly putting the bento on his jacket and sliding it in front of you. 

➵ Your heart and mind were going a mile a minute as you watched the commanding fucking alpha of the pack, bow to you. Ask for your permission to get close to you. 

➵ What-

➵ “Hi?”

➵ Kuroo said nothing in return, only lowering his chin to the ground, looking up to you. Almost waiting for you to allow him closer. 

➵ When you said nothing he motioned towards the bento with a nod of his head. He was almost like a pup with how minimal his actions were. 

➵ When you slowly took the bento, he raised in time with the box, watching you open it. when you popped a small bit of rice into your mouth. He purred loudly, slowly inching closer. He laid his jacket over yours, adding another layer to your barrier, which you slowly moved to allow him in. 

➵ He crawled into your space, slowly moving your books and bag to nuzzle into your neck. You allowed him to, eating more rice-- which seemed to appease him. 

➵ One by one, more of the teammates came by, offering their jackets to your now makeshift nest, joining in on the cuddle pile. 

➵ All but Ichika, who seemed to angrily stomp about while cleaning up the few stray volleyballs. 

➵ But you didn’t really care about her at this point. 

➵ Your omega was at peace, especially with the alpha you’ve been pinning after purring into your neck, scenting you and pressing small kisses to your neck.

➵ This was your pack. Your home.

➵ And they wouldn’t let you fall behind. 

[untaemedqueen]

Third Wheeling

CEO!Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Strangers to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Chapter 29.

Warnings (Updating Still): Smut, Cheating, Unexpected Pregnancy, Unfaithful, Emotional Damage, Love

Warnings For This Chapter: Pre-Wedding Jitters, Dirty Talk, Daddy Kink, Fingering, Praise, Lactation Kink, Milk Drinking, Pregnancy Kink, Wife Kink, Glazed Donut!OC

A/N: Today’s chapter is late because I’ve been busy playing New Pokemon Snap... sry. Shout out to @xjoonchildx, @ladyartemesia and @ppersonna because I’d be lost without them.

There are undoubtedly many events in life that make a person nervous -- your first day of high school and college, your first kiss, your first sexual experience, and for some even your first phone call you give to your doctor when you're no longer under your parents protection. But no one -- not a single person, told you how nervous your wedding day is.

Maybe it's the amount of people that are attending. Two hundred is no small number.

Or maybe it's the fact that with your belly sticking out so far you can barely see your feet makes you feel like you'll be judged.

Whatever it is, the feeling fucking sucks.

You've seen so many movies where the woman who is getting married is all laughs and smiles, giving cheers to anyone and everyone because it's her wedding day. But now, you can officially say it's bullshit.

The best part is, it isn't even today, it's tomorrow and you still are frightened to the bone at the thought.

"-And I mean, yeah. Fine. We chose the taupe napkins but who the fuck is Aubrey to say anything, y'know? Like she knows her colors… Evil witch. I swear I don't know how she passed kindergarten!"

Leena's rant drifts through your ears like a soft breeze. You haven't been paying attention for a while, if you're being honest.

"Y/N? Are you listening to me?!" Leena gawks, grabbing her glass of champagne from Taehyung's hand.

Again, you're caught up in your own mind. You play every scenario of how tomorrow will be and they all seem to be terrible ideas.

What if you trip walking down the aisle?

What if your heel snaps on the way up?

What if your water breaks in front of two hundred people?

What if-

A small square of balsamic bruschetta appears in front of your face and your eyes narrow at the piece of bread.

You feel your soon-to-be husband's fingers pushing back some stray hairs behind your ear. "Food for thought?" he quips happily.

He has not had a frown on his face in what seems like forever. You adore it, you really do. But how can he not be nervous? Your heart is practically thrumming out of your chest.

"Open," he whispers.

Reluctantly, you open your mouth for the appetizer. When he leans in, you look back down at your lap.

"I can see your heart racing through the artery in your neck," he murmurs against your ear.

His hand squeezes your knee under the table reassuringly as he pulls away.

Yoongi wants to pry, he wants to ask you what's got you so in your own head but there are a few too many people here for that.

"Noona, you're an amazing cook." Jeongguk whines, grabbing another piece of steak off the platter.

"You're actually disgusting." Jimin breathes, wrinkling his nose at the youngest's third steak.

"I need my meat, that's how I win in the ring. Gets me all big and strong." Guk beams, cutting into the large t-bone.

"That's what she said!" Hoseok and Taehyung chirp at the same time.

You watch as they high five each other with child-like smiles plastered onto their faces.

"Are you tired? Do you want to call it a night?" your fiance inquires softly, turning his whole body towards you so the rest of the room can't hear him.

You would never want to take away from the festivities. It's just that your stupid anxiety is overwhelming. Looking over at your handsome partner, your fingers intertwine with his. He's quick to kiss the back of your hand, searching your eyes for some sort of hint as to why you're so down.

"No. I'm fine. I'm sorry." you reply, giving him a small smile.

His eyes narrow at your smile and he takes a sharp breath through his teeth in confusion.

"Al...right, if you say so." he says unsurely, running your intertwined hands over your belly.

"Y/N!" Leena whines from across the table and this time you give her your full attention.

You need to try and push this anxiousness elsewhere even for a little while. You will not be a horrible host.

"Yes Beena," you inquire, leaning your chin on your hand.

"Did you hear me? Did you hear what Kim Aubrey said about my wedding planning skills?!" she screeches.

You can only snort as all eyes around the table land on you. "I don't know why you indulge her. Isn't she the one that shit her pants in chemistry when she was fifteen?"

Yoongi laughs loudly, throwing his head back and placing his hand on his chest.

"Actually yeah, she sat two rows behind me!" Namjoon chimes in with wide eyes. His nose wrinkles at the sudden memory and you don't blame him as he pushes his plate away in a sudden state of queasiness.

"So I don't suck at wedding planning?" your best friend pouts across the long table to you.

"Absolutely not." you insist, winking at her.

"This wedding is going to be the biggest event of the entire year. Maybe even the biggest event of the next ten years." Anna, Jimin's wife cheers.

Oh.

Good.

Love that.

"Well, I think we just want people to have a good time. We aren't worried about what impact it will have." Yoongi says quickly, caressing his thumb over the back of your hand to calm you down.

He's not dumb. He's figured it out by now, but he'll still want to hear it from your lips later on.

"Yeah right. 'Min Yoongi and his artistically talented fiance WOW people with their show stopping matrimony' is gonna be on the cover of Dispatch in two days." Hoseok murmurs.

"Oh yeah? And you're gonna be the one giving them the hot scoop, then?" Namjoon jeers, pointing his index finger over the lip of his glass of brandy at the handsome man.

Hobi sneers in his direction and Yoongi can only respond with a chuckle.

"My fiance is pretty show stopping." the CEO surmises, leaning back in his chair.

"Please. I'm eating. Christ." Leena groans through a mouthful of pasta.

It is nice to have so many close friends around tonight though. You hope it can distract you long enough for the nervousness brewing and bubbling inside of you to subside.

When conversations begin to break up and become between smaller groups of people, you can feel his eyes on you like a heat source.

"Little dove?" Yoongi coos softly, rubbing your distended side.

You hum to him, turning to give him your full attention.

"Tomorrow is going to be beautiful and perfect." he promises, tilting your chin up with his index finger.

"No, I know. I'm just-"

"Worried." he finishes for you and he's not surprised to see your reluctant nod of agreement.

"I know. I'm nervous too." he admits, kissing your cheek.

"You've already gotten married before," you scoff, allowing his arm to curl around your shoulders.

"Actually I was black out drunk and can't remember a single thing because I was venomously angry with the dumb bitch that ruined my life before you." he replies with a wide smile.

"Oh. Good." you reply, rolling your eyes at his playfulness.

"So this is my first real wedding too. And even though I'm nervous, I'm excited. Because then when the wedding is over and we get to our honeymoon-"

"Uh uh." you gasp, smushing your finger to his lips.

He pouts against your finger, kissing it softly. "What?" he garbles against your digit.

"We have company." you whisper fiercely.

"Didn't stop you a few days ago when you sucked my cock beneath the desk upstairs while I was on a video meeting." he deadpans, pulling your hand away from his face.

"Yoongi!" you gasp, glancing over the table who hasn't heard a single thing.

You'd like to keep it that way.

"I can't wait to fuck your little pregnant cunt as you're Mrs. Min Yoongi." he beams, kissing your temple.

You can feel your cheeks flushing with embarrassment and you can only blame the man beside you for that one.

When you smack his chest out of shame, the noise echoes throughout the room, earning attention from all of the guests.

"Abuse is not nice, Y/N. Do you want to file a lawsuit, Yoongi?" Yoona quips, sticking her tongue out at you.

The CEO chuckles, squeezing your shoulder with glee. "No, she couldn't handle my lawyers." he bubbles.

"Oh yeah, you know you aren't supposed to sleep with each other tonight, right?" Leena inquires, moving her fork between the both of you.

The cackle Yoongi gives is loud and absurd, much like your best friend's comment. "I can't do anything to her she doesn't have proof of." he banters, pointing at your large belly.

Leena scoffs, pointing down at her plate. "Again. Eating. Gross." she enunciates, pouring herself another glass of expensive champagne.

Jimin's laugh rings throughout the dining room and Yoongi knows that he's the only person who could truly understand him in that moment.

"Why do people do that dumb tradition anyway?" Jeongguk asks, finally finishing his food.

"It actually comes from arranged marriages. When people didn't know who they were marrying." Yoona informs him.

"Fuck that luck shit. That's the saying, isn't it? 'It's bad luck to see the bride' or something like that." Hoseok breathes.

"I think I'm lucky," Yoongi, Namjoon and Jimin reply all at once.

Your best friend takes the opportunity to sneer at her boyfriend and you can't help but giggle at his hopeless expression. "You know I love you, baby." Taehyung coos, sliding his arm over her shoulders.

"Mhm." she drolls, rolling her eyes when both of you look at one another.

"What's for dessert?" Jeongguk asks pleasantly, tying his long black hair up into a ponytail.

"Are you serious? You're not full?" Namjoon gawks at the boxer.

"I was saving room for dessert!" he beams, looking over at you expectantly.

Jeongguk is sweet, sweeter than most younger men you've ever met. He feels something akin to a little brother to you at this point and it's wonderful to see that even if you're rich you can still have manners.

"I made just a simple cobbler, since the wedding cake tomorrow is going to be super heavy and rich." you announce.

Yoongi shoves his chair back, holding out his hand to help you up like the gentleman he is.

He watches you carefully sprinkle powdered sugar atop the dessert with warm eyes.

You don't know how difficult it's going to be walking up that aisle tomorrow, but you do know that your ankles are going to be on fire. They already are.

He picks up the ceramic dish for you, nodding to the chair for you to sit back down and your heart warms for what feels like the billionth time today.

He's such a special person.

"Yoongi is really cool these days, huh?" Jimin jeers, elbowing your fiance when he steps between him and Jeongguk to place the dessert onto the table.

"I've always been cool," he counters, nudging the younger man back

"Well…" Jeongguk and Taehyung droll at the same time.

"Whatever," the CEO breathes, rolling his eyes.

Your giggle seems to light up the room as well as Yoongi's heart. Slamming down in his chair beside you, he can't help the glee that courses through him.

He can't wait for tomorrow.

Climbing into bed, you let the mattress mold to your body and it feels like heaven to be finally laying down, your body certainly thanks you for it.

Yoongi leans against the wall, watching as you sigh happily. "I can just come to bed y'know? I don't need to stay up and hang out." he offers, padding towards you.

"No, that wouldn't be fair. It's your bachelor party. You should be able to play poker and drink." you reply, cupping your stomach.

His eyes drift over you and you can see how soft his expression is in the dim lighting. "You got out of your bachelorette party," he adds, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I have a reason. I'm pregnant." you deadpan, lifting your head to look at him.

"With my baby," he coos, stretching up the bed to lay down beside you.

"Don't get comfy." you warn him, running your fingers over his clothed chest.

"I'm not, I'll just stay until you fall asleep." he promises, kissing your forehead.

His hand drifts over your stomach and the tiny kick he feels makes his heart beat faster. "Hey, kid. How you doin' in there?" he whispers, running his thumb over the spot his son just hit.

You hum gently, letting your eyes flutter closed.

"I'm so tired but I'm so nervous." you announce in the quiet room.

Your fiance looks away from your belly to look over at you. "It's okay to be nervous, but don't let it supersede your happiness for tomorrow either."

You nod gently, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I just have so many scenarios going through my head."

"And none of them are nice, I'm sure." he replies, booping your nose with his index finger.

Scoffing in agreement, you bury your face into his sweet smelling neck.

"I can make you cum, it might make you sleepy," he offers.

"I can't return the favor though, I'm too tired. It'll be unfair," you whine.

When he clicks his teeth, you only hold him tighter to your body.

"I don't need you to 'return the favor' when you love someone as much as I love you, you'd do anything to see them comfortable." he replies, kissing the top of your head.

"They're waiting for you downstairs." you remind him.

"Let them wait. You come first," he breathes, running the tips of his fingers over your soft inner thighs.

You whine in disagreement but your body betrays you naturally. Your legs spread wider and your breath hitches, your lips softly suckle on the thin skin of his neck waiting patiently for what he will do next.

"Your skin is so soft," he whispers, tugging the seat of your panties to the side.

He pulls away from you just far enough to be able to see how well he pleases you and he's already aroused at the sight.

Your eyes are low with lust, bottom lip clamped between your teeth. Your nipples are stiff peaks, straining against the grey silk nightgown you adorn. He can see the grey fabric becoming darker with each passing second as you bead milk.

"God," he groans, parting your lower lips.

"Tomorrow when we fly to Japan, I'm gonna fuck you in every way you could possibly think of." he promises, running his middle finger through your arousal.

"H-How?" you inquire curiously, gasping when he taps the pad of his finger to your clit.

His lips part and his teeth clamp down on one of the cups of your nightgown before pulling down harshly.

You whimper at the chilly air that glides over your now exposed skin.

He lays soft, hot opened mouthed kisses to your nipple, watching your eyebrows furrow in pleasure.

"How am I going to fuck you?" he prods.

You nod fervently, capturing your index finger between your teeth.

"Well," he begins, drawing smooth, slow circles to your swelling clit, "I'll start on the red eye. I'll take you back to the bedroom and take off that pretty wedding dress you'll be wearing just for me."

"Daddy," you whimper, spreading your legs wider for more.

He hums in agreement, pulling off your underwear to free you completely before him.

"I'm gonna make sure the whole crew of my plane knows you're getting fucked by your husband. Gonna have you screaming my name while I fuck your tight little pussy with my thick cock." he avows, kissing over your shoulder.

His words send shivers up your spine and your toes curl with excitement.

"Fuck," you whimper, grinding your hips down onto his hand.

"Gonna hold your big belly in my hands while I fuck you from behind. Let your milk drip all over the sheets of the bed on the plane. You're gonna beg me to go harder, to fill your dirty pregnant cunt full of my cum. I'm gonna make you feel so good, you aren't even going to care that everyone can hear you calling me daddy."

Shoving two fingers inside of you, he skillfully taps the soft patch of nerves within you and your brain is already firing on all cylinders to cum for him. His thumb begins to press harder circles into your clit and when you cup your belly, his eyes roll back at the sight.

"Gonna get you to the secluded hotel and fuck you out on the balcony, in the bath tub, on the bed, anywhere I can get my hands on you. Because I need you wrapped around me. Always." he murmurs into your ear.

"Shit!" you cry out, letting your head loll back to the pillow.

"Good girl, little dove." he praises, unbuttoning his pants for relief.

The head of his cock peeks out from the lip of his briefs and you whimper at the pearl of precum that beads at the tip.

"You're so beautiful," he breathes, kissing from your collarbone to your pert nipple.

When he suckles softly, your hips lift at the erotocism. He moans at the taste of your milk and his hand ghosts over his hard cock.

"Daddy," you cry out, starting to shake from the overwhelming pleasure.

Sitting up on his knees, he shoves his pants down further. He parts your legs wider and he doesn't seem to care that all of his friends are waiting patiently for him downstairs.

His cock ruts between your folds and you're ever so close to cumming with every swipe the head of his cock brushes against your clit.

"So warm," he murmurs, purchasing his bottom lip between his teeth.

Your moans begin to get louder and he knows you're so close to releasing your pleasure.

"That's it baby, you're so close." Yoongi notices, running his hands over your stomach.

"O-Oh my God!" you cry out, grabbing his hands over your belly.

"I know, little dove. Feels good, huh?" he coos.

You're so obscenely wet, that even without him being inside you he's finding himself close to his own end.

It's just you in general, you overstimulate him in ways he can barely understand.

"Daddy, I'm gonna cum." you bleat, gripping his hands harder.

"Cum for me, little dove. I want to see your pretty face when you cum for me." he begs, rutting his hips harder against your core.

You do as told, cumming for him with white spotted eyes and loud sobs of pleasure.

"Good girl," he praises, pulling away from your weeping pussy.

He fists his cock in hand, dragging the swollen, leaking tip over your belly. "Such a pretty woman I have beneath me. Fuck," he curses, jerking his hand faster.

Even as tiredness begins to shroud you, you want him to orgasm too. "Daddy, cum all over my belly. Want to feel your warm cum."

He takes a sharp breath between his teeth, his eyes snapping to yours.

When you palm your breasts, his eyes immediately falter to them. You pinch your nipples purposefully, earning droplets of milk that stream slowly over your digits.

"Oh fuck!" he gasps loudly, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

"Want your cum so badly," you whimper, looking up at him with doe-like eyes.

"Yeah? You want me to cum all over your belly?" he prods, feeling his balls tightening.

You nod fervently, leaving your breasts to rub circles to your distended skin.

"Fuck!" he curses, squeezing his eyes shut as his orgasm courses through him. His cock throbs and stutters in his hand and you hum with satisfaction when you feel his warm cum land on your belly.

"God, you're too sexy for your own good." the father of your child jeers, sitting back on the heels of his feet.

You find yourself giving a tired giggle and your eyelids slowly begin to shield your eyes from view.

"Good girl." he whispers softly, hopping off the bed to clean your stomach.

When he comes back with a wet towel, he can see that you're already fast asleep. He's happy knowing that you'll be able to sleep even if it's only for a few hours.

He can understand your worries and your fears but he wants you to be able to enjoy your wedding too.

Kissing your forehead as he cleans your belly, he sighs softly. "My wife," he breathes, closing his eyes.

"I'll be back later, my love." he promises, tossing the rag back into the bathroom.

Yoongi covers your naked body with the comforter and his heart is thudding in the recesses of his chest with joy.

Just a few more hours and you'll be legally his.

"Remind me why we're playing poker the night before your wedding instead of going out?" Taehyung asks, throwing chips into the center of the green felted table.

"Because there's no pregnant strippers around these parts," Jimin jeers, picking up his beer.

Yoongi sneers at the younger man beside him, elbowing him almost out of embarrassment.

"What? If I could go see a pregnant strip show, believe me, I would."

"We know." everyone replies, rolling their eyes.

"Last time you had a bachelor party, man, that shit was fun." the hotel CEO recalls.

"You had fun." Yoongi reminds him, ashing his cigar.

"Also, aren't you completely smitten with Leena anyway? You want her to have your baby." Namjoon prods, placing his cards down on the table.

Taehyung smirks at his comment, leaning back into his chair and slinging his arm over the lip. "Oh, I'm very happy. She's everything I could possibly want." he affirms, smiling to himself.

"Then why do you want to go to a strip club?" Hoseok adds, throwing chips onto the table.

"Because I like tits. Jesus Christ, just crucify me why don't you!" Tae replies appalled.

Yoongi snorts loudly, clamping his teeth down on his cigar.

He wonders if you're okay, if you've woken up in the past few hours due to his son being so active.

His fingers flex uncomfortably and he's still surprised how much his life has changed in such a small amount of time. He's gone from being a violent, sadistic, narcissistic asshole to being a needy, loving and adoring man. And that's all thanks to you.

You've completely changed the pattern of his DNA and he could never appreciate you as much as you deserve.

"You excited for tomorrow, hyung?" Guk's voice pulls him from his thoughts and he smirks at the younger man.

"Very excited but very nervous." he admits to his group of friends.

"I remember the night of his other wedding. He was so fucking drunk he could barely stand up on his own." Jimin recalls with a laugh.

"I had to hold him up with my shoulder from behind so he didn’t fall backwards." Namjoon adds with a sharp laugh.

Yoongi smirks to himself, looking down at his pocket which holds his wallet. "Well, I'm just glad we don't have to have a repeat of that horrible day again."

"You got lucky dude, not many people find their soulmate when they were an asshole like you were." Hoseok says, pointing at the Kisung CEO.

His sneer is terrifying but probably only to himself as the other men laugh at Hobi's words.

"Y/N completely made him do a 180." Joon concurs.

"I like Y/N noona a lot. She fits in well and she's always optimistic and sweet. We needed someone like her in our lives." Guk beams and your soon-to-be husband seems to glow in their praise.

He loves hearing his friends talk so highly of you. He loves knowing that you're loved for being yourself, especially because you don't know it very often.

He can remember when he first met you, in the back of Seokjin's club. You were sweet and kind but a smart ass and cheeky at the same time. You intrigued him on so many levels and he can remember how badly he wanted to destroy you. But he never would have expected to fall in love with you as earnestly as he has.

And he wouldn't change it for anything in the universe.

"Leena has been putting in so much work for this wedding, you would think it's hers." Taehyung laughs, pulling Yoongi out of his reverie.

"And when are you getting married to her then?" the Kisung CEO inquires, ashing his cigar.

The question seems to stupify the handsome hotel owner, he stutters and shifts awkwardly in his seat trying to reply to the sudden question.

"Jesus, you broke him!" Jimin laughs, clapping his best friend on the back.

Taehyung's cheeks burn bright red and his hand immediately cups the back of his neck out of embarrassment. "I mean I bought a ring. I just haven't thought of anything romantic to y'know… ask her."

Beer goes flying out of Jimin's mouth and the sneer Yoongi gives makes him want to die on the spot.

"Jimin. You're paying for the new felt, you fucking animal." Yoongi gripes, watching Namjoon and Hoseok heartily laugh at the younger man.

"That'll be great! Leena noona is really nice!" Jeongguk cheers, hugging Taehyung happily.

"Thanks…" Tae breathes embarrassed.

Yoongi winks at him and he isn't surprised in the slightest, he knows just how smitten the man is with your best friend.

"Yoongi?"

The voice is gentle and tired.  In an instant he's burning out his cigar and waving the smoke away.

"Yeah, baby?" he calls to you, disregarding the others in the library.

"Just checking to see if you were all still here," you murmur, stepping into the library doorway.

You're beautiful in the dim glow of the library's lights and the smile that spreads over his face is heart shatteringly perfect.

"Still here." he beams, padding over to you.

"Okay." you bleat, rubbing your sleep hooded eyes.

"What're you doing up, my dove? You must be so tired." he inquires, pushing hair back behind your ear.

"I'm thirsty. Wanted water." you chirp, pressing your forehead into his chest.

"Okay. Get your water and I'll be up in a few minutes. Alright?" he promises, tipping your chin up with his index finger.

You hum in agreement, starting to yawn.

He chuckles at your sleepy state, kissing your forehead. He pats your backside for good measure before turning to his friends that are seated around the poker table.

"I think it's time to get some rest before the big day tomorrow."

The guys hum in agreement, tossing down their cards and standing up.

"Tomorrow's gonna be great, man. I'm really happy for you." Joon whispers, patting his shoulder as he heads out first.

Yoongi can only agree with a wide smile.

Tomorrow is the start to the rest of his life. And it's perfect, just like you.

Next Chapter ----->

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