#this wasn't only supposed to be about atlantis

[autistic-danieljackson]

Salty Ask List - 13 and 17 :)

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

Daniel - I really don't think he's that OOC in season 9-10. I hear this complaint all the time but I feel like it was a natural progression over the seasons. I also prefer early seasons Daniel but I don't think he gets that out of character in the later seasons. You know when he was OOC? RIGHT AFTER FOREVER IN A DAY! That's not an unpopular opinion but I will never get over that.

Rodney - I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion and I feel like it's going to come off the wrong way but truly he is not as misogynistic as a lot of people like to claim he is. I always see people claim how horrible and disgusting he is and that they couldn't watch Atlantis specifically because of him and I guess I just have to assume they've never watched another show from 2005 before? Because while it definitely isn't great or something to be condoned...there was way way worse during that time. And also he grows so much so I'm guessing they're just watching like half of season 1 and giving up. Again, not sure how unpopular this is but it's something I see way more often than I expected to and it bugs me a lot.

Teal'c - In my opinion, Teal'c was so underutilized. Especially being, as far as we're shown, the only alien employed by the SGC(other than Jonas for a bit of course). But too often it felt like he was there to be the straight man and punch and shoot when it was called for. I would have loved to see more character development and also what sorts of things he got into on Earth. Because that man is getting paid(hopefully) but he's living on base with no rent and his money isn't good on his home world. So what's he doing with all that cash? Personally, I think he buys all the things on those late night infomercials. But I just would've liked to see more personality from him. Also, I just cannot be bothered to care about his family. They feel like such an afterthought(a lot like Sha're). I would've either liked to see more of them or just have that plot cut all together.

I'm realizing I don't know how unpopular any of these actually are but I don't think I have a lot of really controversial opinions haha.

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

You've opened a can of worms with this lmao! We all know I wouldn't have had Carson die. There are so many other things they could've done instead. I think if they still wanted a shock factor they could've given him a major injury/permanent disability. Losing hearing or sight or a limb and the impact it would've had on him and the team would have been way more interesting than just killing Carson off.

I also saw once where someone was talking about how they should've had Jonas go on the Atlantis expedition and I whole-heartedly agree. His antics would've fit in so well with the Atlantis crew and it almost feels disrespectful that he was main cast for an entire season and then just cast aside other than one episode in season 7(although I'm fairly certain this was due to the actor and not the writers just writing him off but this is ideal Stargate where everyone is pleasant and easy to work with 😂)

Last, I don't know what I would've done differently but I wish they would've kept Ford around. He and Ronon would've been such a good duo and I think we really missed out.

WAIT I FORGOT HOW HEATED I GET ABOUT ELIZABETH! Okay sorry one more because the shit they pulled with Elizabeth actually makes me so mad. First, I don't know if anyone else has noticed but the s4 credits immediately introduce Sam as being main cast with Elizabeth nowhere in sight which spoils the whole thing and also feels extra disrespectful. They didn't change the s2 ones for an episode or two until Ford was gone. But second, there was no reason to do what they did. Just like Carson, I think character death(or I guess in both cases "death") was the least interesting route. I think major injury would've been so interesting in this case as well. Sam steps in as interim leader while Elizabeth gets back on her feet. Watching the pain and frustration as someone who was always in control can't even get their body to obey them. That would've been interesting to watch. And then eventually Elizabeth is able to step back into the leadership position, maybe solely or maybe she and Sam are co-leaders because we needed more women in the Stargate universe. Oh what we could have had...

There are like a million other things I would've done differently but I'll be done for now before this post gets ridiculously long haha

[itsnotmuchyet]

Okay, this is just a quick (lies, this ended up so long) and dirty articulation of why I don't like Annabeth Chase from PJO, her relationship with Percy, and what I think could fix it. (It got too long so I cut that bit. I'll write it if someone asks, but right now this is just a deconstruction of how, in my opinion, Annabeth Chase is not a well-written and compelling character.) This will be rambling and scattershot but hopefully it all makes sense, even if you don't agree.

First of all, Annabeth Chase has a lot of potential. I'm about to talk some shit, but I want to be clear, I see a lot in her character that could be interesting. I attribute most of my problems with her to Rick's writing, which, for all its good qualities, is not the strongest or most consistent imo. This isn't intended as a hate piece, just a way to organize my thoughts. I'm doing this all from memory, and am open to feedback, disagreement, or correction if I make a mistake so long as it's done in a civil way. Thank you.

I think my biggest frustration with Annabeth is that I simply don't believe her intelligence. I would LIKE to. But I think we are told that she is smart far more than we're shown, which makes the praise heaped upon her somewhat galling.

When I think about great strategies in these books, Percy comes to mind first. In The Last Olympian, he's the one who plans out the destruction of the bridges to frustrate Kronos' approach, including making diplomatic deals with the river gods and strategically deploying demigods to get it done. He's the one to realize that Poseidon is critical to success, find a way to get his attention in the middle of a war, and convince him to take heavy losses in Atlantis — and lose that battle which was very personal and precious to him — in order to win the ultimate war against Kronos. It is also Percy's strategy which is successful in defeating Typhon. Percy is constantly thinking up strategies in high pressure environments, such as fights. For example, in the Labrynth, when he realizes that his half-brother is healed by earth so he concocts a method with what he has around him to keep his brother suspended so he can be killed.

Now, other demigods also make important contributions in The Last Olympian. Wasn't it Nico who convinced Hades, Persephone, and Demeter to join the fight? And Annabeth activated Daedalus(??? spelling) statues in defense as well. But Percy is one that we are most often shown being strategic. I think it just goes under the radar because Percy does not have a high self esteem and does not praise himself internally for a lot of the clever stuff he does.

Annabeth most often contributes by knowing something. She often serves as exposition; she'll recognize a myth first, and explain it to Percy. But not only is prior knowledge and memorization not a replacement for actual strategy, BUT PERCY GETS BETTER GRADES THAN HER. I think it's in that Demigod Files book?? All Riordan's stuff has at least a month's waitlist at my library or I would double check my source, but I distinctly remember an entry where Annabeth is like, "Seriously, how is Percy getting better grades than me?? I'm the one who taught him how to put an essay together and now he's breezing through them??? Wtf." I find this intensely frustrating. Because what do you MEAN she's not even more successful than Percy academically? It's just, it's frustrating, because she's supposed to be so super smart, and I'm struggling to see where that actually gets expressed. If her only advantage is an earlier exposure to the Greek myths than Percy and a good memory, then her value as a character is highest near the start of the series and can only decline from there.

Even her encounter with the Sphinx highlights this. She had the trivia knowledge to answer the questions but not the wisdom to just, do that and not start an unnecessary fight in the middle of their quest.

I can think of several times in the books where Annabeth stutters, trying to think of something, while Percy improvises something that might be a little goofy but it WORKS.

Actually, Percy is by far the better manipulator out of the two of them. He is insanely good at reading his enemies, figuring out how to convince them to ally with him if possible, or defeat them if not. His big vulnerability is he can't do that for shit with people he cares about. Percy is actually very conflict avoidant in his personal life, I've noticed? And he's very quick to empathize with a friend and try to see things from their persepective (like when Grover kinda SABOTAGED his college applications and Percy heard him out and supported him in his emotional struggle with Percy leaving).

By contrast, Annabeth doesn't seem interested in the emotional wellbeing of her friends?

Annabeth often insults Percy's intelligence and his strategies. She says his head is full of kelp, seaweed brain, outright calls him stupid at least once (during that quest for Hermes, if I recall; was that in the Demigod Files as well? It wasn't in a main book I don't think). Everyone says that Annabeth is so smart, she's the daughter of Athena she's the architect of Olympus!! Meanwhile, the person I see actually implementing successful strategy is the person Annabeth constantly insults. She says that he's lucky, that he needs help to do anything, couldn't think his way out of a paper bag without her????????

That's what drives me crazy about Annabeth. Nobody ever calls her on her bragging or her putting down of other people. She doesn't learn. Not even when her carelessness and overconfidence gets her DRAGGED INTO TARTARUS. I'm so sorry, but is it not embarrassing for a daughter of Athena to be defeated like that??? All you had to do was keep an awareness of your environment, put two and two together that you're covered in webs just like the spider who just fell through the floor, and realize you'd better do something about that ASAP. And, like. Look. My issue isn't that she was pulled into Tartarus. My issue isn't even the way it happened. It matches with her fatal flaw.

My issue is that, like with everything else she gets wrong, she never seems to learn or grow from it. Like when Luke tricked her into holding up the sky. That to me is a perfect opportunity for a genuine character moment. It's so humbling, and would leave you so shaken. A moment for an unwanted but desperately needed reckoning between who she wants Luke to be and who he is. I'm not even saying she should have given up on him. I don't mind that she couldn't or that the whole thing was so messy and painful for her, but the way that it was expressed in the book made me feel like Annabeth was either willfully blind or untrustworthy. Her denial of Luke's worst aspects, her defending of him, her refusal to hold space for other characters feeling differently to her, all of it fostered suspicion in me when I first read the PJO books.

I remember when I first read the scene where Percy reveals his Achille's heel to her. My hair stood on end. Something about the way her eyes are described as "distant" when she asks where it is, and how Percy hesitates. In that moment I was screaming for him not to trust her. I did not want her to know. I thought his fatal flaw was going to kill him. Percy is a character who cannot anticipate betrayal.

Of course I was wrong about Annabeth there. Or was I? Other people before me have noted that when Annabeth judo flips Percy onto his back in New Rome, she does not know that the Mark of Achilles has been lifted. I don't think that the throw would have necessarily killed him if it hadn't; he lands on a flat surface. But it was certainly DEEPLY careless and foolhardy of Annabeth, EVEN BEFORE you take into account that it was, strategically, a STUPID thing to do. It makes me want to scream how dumb this moment makes Annabeth look. It's the tense, fraught first meeting in years between ancient enemies. You're the leader of your group, the diplomatic ambassador from Camp Half Blood. It's imperative that this goes well, for the fate of the world. And your emotions run so high upon reuniting with your kidnapped boyfriend — who was stolen by a god and has been through you-don't-know-what kind of godly fuckery — that you take it out on him, the VICTIM, and physically attack him. Didn't she put a knife to his throat?? If PERCY hadn't defused the moment, handled it, Annabeth would easily have destroyed the Greek-Roman alliance right there, no ghostly possession of Leo needed. With friends like her, who needs enemies?

Her relationship with Percy…I've never understood why they're the golden couple of the fandom. Annabeth seemed more interested in Luke than Percy, and when she was interested in Percy it was always…like, okay, Annabeth was vulnerable with Luke. I don't think he ever had a thing for her, but there was a tenderness to how she'd interact with him. When she interacted with Percy — think of the school dance, or how she handled having Rachel on a quest — she refuses to be vulnerable with him. If she has a crush on Percy, she hides it under glares, insults, and demands. Annabeth won't ask Percy to dance with her, she'll hit him and call him stupid for not asking her. She will not let her guard down with him.

This is a throughline in their relationship; even in Tartarus, she's thinking about how she likes to keep Percy on her toes. Yeah, Annabeth, we know. It was obvious when you manufactured a whole drama around your "one month anniversary." Which, no, that's not a thing, and it's completely normal of Percy not to anticipate that you would want him to do something special for it. I hated that whole story (it's in demigod files, I think). It's just Annabeth dangling Percy over undefined consequences if he doesn't read her mind and figure out what she wants and needs. He does all the work and she judges it. It's not cute or fun.

I do place most of the blame on Riordan's writing. What's that scene where Annabeth pushes Percy unexpectably off a cliff, triggering a very sensitive and dangerous encounter that he had to negotiate under time pressure while Annabeth watches? How does that scene start? "Get you a girlfriend who…" It's framed as a positive that Annabeth will just shove Percy into dangerous situations without warning when she absolutely does not have to do that. Isn't she supposed to be strategic? Why can't she think up a strategy and tell him, instead of shoving him at the problem and just, putting it on him to find a solution? "Give the problem to Percy" isn't a strategy worthy of Athena, I'm sorry. But my point is, Rick genuinely seems to think their romance is good and these red flag moments are cute and flirty. He is not writing Annabeth as an asshole on purpose.

I tend towards death of the author analyses myself, but Rick's writing is not consistent enough for that. You kinda just have to identify what he was trying to do, see where it failed, and decide how you wanna interpret that. And when it comes to Annabeth…I just want to either burn her relationship with Percy down or rewrite her character.

What else is there? Oh yeah, does anyone else feel like the way her family is written makes her seem…overdramatic? Like, meeting her dad and stepmom…it's an anticlimax. This girl was so unhappy she ran away from home as a child. She chose to become homeless in a world where monsters hunt her down, AS A CHILD, rather than stay with her dad. There's a deep unhappiness and loss to that. When she talks about it, she talks about being unwanted, a burden that her dad was unable and unwilling to handle, not being heard, not being believed. She is describing victim blaming. In that house, she, a six year old child, was seen as the problem.

And after that build up, we meet her family, and they are…well, they're fine, aren't they. Her step mom is concerned for her. She and Annabeth's dad (no i don't remember his name rn) seem to want the best for her, to help however they can. Mr Chase—is his name Frederick maybe???—Mr Chase takes the initiative, after Percy and his friends let him in on a sliver of what's going on with Annabeth, to melt down old weapons to make bullets and FLY A HELICOPTER to come save his daughter.

I'm honestly at a loss about what we're supposed to think here. At the end of Titan's Curse Percy gently suggests to Annabeth that she give her family another chance. If I recall, she says some things can't be repaired, but it's implied that she does actually try again with her family later. This always seemed to me to undermine Annabeth's entire narrative…the way she describes being treated simply does not match what we observe for ourselves in Titan's Curse.

I could go on but I'll cut it here. Maybe I'll make a post about I'd rewrite her if I could, because I do WANT to like Annabeth. There's a lot interesting that could be done with her. Probably not though bc all the Annabeth stans are gonna block me for this one I fear. Maybe I'll post my criticisms of other PJO couples instead lol (I won't. if you've read this far you'll find this claim dubious, but I actually don't enjoy being a hater. anyway i don't have nearly so much to say about any other pjo couple). Thanks for reading.

[shanastoryteller]

happy valentine’s day! could i get something pjo or hades?

a continuation of 1

Sally doesn't understand. "But where's my son?"

His face crumples before smoothing back out.

"Not that you're not my son!" she says hurriedly. Gods, he's going to grow up to look so much like his father. He's going to grow up powerful, which is something Poseidon had warned her about and she thought she'd taken it seriously, but now her almost adult son is in front of her and there's a presence to him that she'd clocked as his father's just as much as his hair and the breadth of his shoulders. "But. My son. When you go back to the future, he'll come back, right?"

"Mom," he starts, then presses his lips together. "I don't know."

She slowly lowers herself onto Percy's bed. Onto her Percy's bed. "Where is he now?"

"If he's still here, he's probably in the underworld," he says.

If. If. Her eyes burn. She'd just been wishing that Percy wasn't seven anymore, but she hadn't meant this.

"I have to go," he says, clearly trying to speak gently to her. "I'll try and find out, okay? I'll send you an Iris message."

"But," she starts, looking up at him. What's she supposed to do? Her son's gone. Her son's right in front of her, but he's leaving too.

He leans down, pressing a kiss to her forehead like he's the parent. "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm really sorry."

~

Percy thinks he might have killed himself.

He tries not to think about it as he dive into the Atlantic, the water surging over and around him as it propel him exactly where he wants to go.

This is a mission that he's not going to survive. He'd known that from the beginning. Persephone had warned him that his life would be forfeit before he'd done it.

He should have listened. He should have taken a single second to think it through before he'd accepted, even if he would have done it anyway, even if it felt like the only option left.

When he'd sat across from Persephone, her clothes black with mourning and a crown she didn't want on her head, he'd already been dead. So it couldn't be his life that was the cost. It had already been paid.

Now his mom is going to have to mourn him twice over. Maybe even three times over, when he dies here too. He's such a terrible kid. She deserves better. Estelle wouldn't do this to her.

Why the hell had she had a kid with a god? They all die young.

He sneaks through the patrol of Atlantis with ease. He knows the schedules and the patterns and nothing is really meant to keep him out anyway.

The armory, the most guarded part of the kingdom, opens at his first touch.

He's a loyal son of Poseidon. Nothing here is forbidden to him.

Granted, that's because they don't know to ward against him specifically, because he's supposed to be ignorant and seven and demigod children don't typically just go strolling into their parents domain.

Riptide is currently with Charon and ironically he'd have a much harder time stealing from him than his father. He walks the length of the armory, eyeing the tridents but moving on. If he wants to keep his parentage a secret, then that's definitely not the way to go.

He goes through about a dozen swords before finding one that feels loose and easy in his hands. It's a bit flashier than Riptide, emeralds along the hilt and interlocking silver patter worked in alongside the bronze.

Paper doesn't do so well underwater, so he scrapes in an IOU into the place the sword had been. Someone's going to notice it missing pretty quickly either way. His dad if he's lucky, Triton if he isn't, but he doesn't have the time to worry about it.

There are three kids out there who are going to need some help getting to Camp Half-Blood in one piece.

[fbfh]

curiosity is a wonderful thing - ch 8

wc: 3.1k

genre: slowburn, friends to lovers, fluff

pairing: audrey x ben, mal x ben????, eventual ben x daughter of alice!reader

warnings: audrey being a lil bitch again, mind control/hypnosis magic, implanted thoughts, minor emotional manipulation from mal

summary: disappointed again by Audrey's motivations, Ben prepares for a huge tourney match. But something - or someone - becomes very distracting all of a sudden.

song recs: the king - sarah kinsley, mind control - topsecret, do it for her - steven universe soundtrack

a/n: so we took in a stray cat (orange ofc) and he literally did this to me the other day???? peak orange cat behavior tbh. not my pic if that wasn't obvious

TAGS @yesv01 @magcon7280 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sunshineangel-reads @dustyinkpages @inejsknifes @tulipmagnoliaisme @ev3ningrain

“So, where’s bunny?” Audrey asks Ben as they head to the tourney field. She says his nickname for you with a note of venom. Even though it rarely happens, whenever someone else refers to you as bunny it always hits Ben’s ear wrong. 

“She’s probably just running late,” Ben says, “nothing out of the ordinary.” 

He says it sweetly. You three were supposed to meet up before the match today, but Ben figures you probably took a wrong turn, or got tied up in a project. Ben covers for you like that a lot. He doesn't mind at all, and since he can't go with you to Wonderland, he feels like this is the next best thing. Or the least he can do, he supposes.

“Well great, that's…” Audrey starts, trailing off as she gets distracted by a group of girls. More specifically, by how amazing their hair is. She tries to pay attention to what Ben is going on about this time, but their hair… it’s too distracting. It looks photoshopped. It looks like the hair they use in salon ads and shampoo commercials. She glares at them, her gaze venomous until she realizes her eyebrows are all scrunched up. She snaps out of it, smoothing out her face. First not just one person with better hair than her, but multiple girls with hair so much better than hers that she’s going to get wrinkles over it? What’s next, mixing patterns? Unblended eyeshadow? Orthopedic shoes?

“Do you think they actually paid for those?” She spits conspiratorially.

“D- uh, they- they might have…” Ben sputters at the sudden change of topic, following her gaze and trying to figure out what exactly has got Audrey in such a bad mood suddenly. 

“She did it to Jane’s hair too,” Audrey continues in that tone she only gets when spreading gossip. “And Fairy Godmother’s not happy about it.”

Oh. She’s talking about their hair. 

The realization dawns on Ben, and he takes a closer look at the group of girls. The girl on the left’s new color and style remind him a lot of yours. It looks good. Ben glances back at Audrey, realizing she’s this upset over someone else’s hair.

“I mean… what’s the harm?” Ben starts gently. From what you’ve told him about Mal and Evie, Mal is probably just trying to make friends with the makeup and fashion tips she’s picked up from Evie - and as far as Ben’s concerned, that’s something that should be encouraged. Before he can finish his thought, Audrey interjects, as she so often does when the conversation isn’t about her.

“It’s gateway magic!” She exclaims incredulously, as if this should be obvious to him. 

Gateway magic? That’s… not a thing… Ben thinks, wondering for a fraction of a second if Audrey might be joking. The only reason that magic is retired in the first place is because of the technology boom that came from Auradon’s alliance with Atlantis. All the new technology can do pretty much anything magic can do in people’s day to day lives. 

Aside from that, it’s also much easier to regulate and add in safety precautions. Most people have become more interested in exploring and expanding new technologies than focusing on magic and its traditions. Ben has a feeling that in the coming years, magic will eventually begin to be re-incorporated into society, but for now, it’s somewhat obsolete. Technology is easier to learn, gets more consistent results, and you don’t need to dig through ancient texts for information - one quick Doogle search and you’re good to go. 

“I mean, sure, it starts with the hair.” Audrey continues, and Ben can sense a tangent coming. “Next thing you know it’s the lips, then the legs, then the clothes, and then everybody looks so good, and…”

As he listens, Ben starts to see her point. If using magic to alter the way you look becomes common, it could have dire consequences. Adolescence is a fragile time, and if cosmetic alterations start running rampant at Auradon Prep, who knows how detrimental that could be to the student body’s self image and self esteem? The last thing Ben wants is to contribute to misogynistic, unrealistic beauty standards, give young girls even more unattainable ideologies to compare themselves to. 

He’s sure Mal is well intentioned with all this makeover stuff, and he doesn’t want to punish her for efforts to make friends - solve one problem by causing another. If he can just talk to her, have a heart to heart and explain why he’s concerned, he’s sure she’ll understand. That way they can collaborate, come up with a solution for how Mal can make friends without doing anything that could inadvertently create a negative aftermath. 

“...Then where will I be?” 

Audrey’s voice breaks Ben’s momentary, spiraling train of thought. He looks at her as she pouts, fussing with her own hair. She pulls out a compact mirror and begins inspecting her face. The realization that Audrey is only worried about herself yet again sends a flash of disappointment through him. Maybe if things were different he could talk to her about it, maybe he could get her to understand. But he still has a tourney game to get ready for, a meeting with his parents after that, and a new potential crisis to put out. 

“Listen, Audrey-”

Either she doesn’t hear him, or she doesn’t want to, and cuts him off again - something Ben starts to realize he’s growing very used to. She snaps her compact shut and looks at him vaguely, digging around her bag for her plumping lip gloss. She makes a mental note to get more, the extreme plumping kind if she wants to get ahead of all this magic beauty bullshit on the horizon.

“I will see you after my dress fitting for coronation, ‘kay?”

“O-Okay…” Ben replies, but Audrey is already bounding away.

“Bye bennyboo.” She calls out behind her, leaving Ben alone in the hall. He feels himself cringe a little at her repeated use of the nicknam, but reprimands himself. It’s well intentioned - well enough at least - so he shouldn’t be judgemental. 

Behind him in the empty hall, Mal stands, staring at the back of Ben’s head intently. She steadies herself with a breath. She’s been practicing on the birds outside her window - she even practiced on Carlos a few times - she’s been pouring over her mom’s spellbook nonstop since yesterday, she’s ready. She has to be. She takes a breath and walks forward, clearing her throat. 

“Hey bennyboo!” She says, sarcastic and saccharine. 

Ben turns around, startled by the sound of Mal’s voice, and bites back a sigh. He really wishes people would just call him Ben. Before he can greet her, Mal takes a few steps closer, locking eyes with him, and holds up a baggie of cookies that look very… homemade. 

“Do you want one?”

He looks at the cookies briefly, then smiles at Mal. It seems a little strange that she would take up something like baking when she refuses to even take an art class, but Ben is too distracted by the fact that she’s finally putting a good foot forward. She’s doing something kind, making a gesture, she’s trying.

“Oh,” he chuckles, smiling and trying to find a polite way to decline. He never eats right before a tourney match, especially dessert. 

“I uh,” he starts, fumbling for words that always come so easily. “I’ve got a big game - I don’t eat before a big game, but thank you so much!” He adds quickly, her eyes locked onto his. Have they always been that green? 

“T-thank you. Next time, next time definitely.” He concludes. He should go. He needs to go warm up or he’s going to be late. Why is he still standing there?

“No, yeah.” Mal says, pulling his thoughts back to her. If her eyes had always been so intense, such a vibrant, glowing green, Ben is sure he would have noticed before. “I completely understand.”

Mal smiles sadly. 

“Be wary of treats offered by villains…” She laughs sadly, eyes still locked on his, drawing him in. “I’m sure every kid in Auradon knows that.” 

Panic and guilt flash through him. 

“No, no, no-” He fumbles, trying to explain, but finding the words feels like trying to run through quicksand. He can feel his brain slowing down, struggling to think, growing more and more quiet. 

“No, that’s not it,” he sputters, desperately trying to correct her impression of him, that he doesn’t trust her, doesn’t like her. “I- I really do-” 

He gestures weakly toward the tourney field, eyes still locked on Mal’s, stuck in her entrancing gaze. Everything around him seems to glow with a tinge of that green, that intoxicating emerald color of her eyes. He tries to say something, but there are no words in his head to draw on. It’s like someone cut the power supply to his mind, leaving him reeling in the dark, stuck in place as Mal stares him down, inching closer to him. He can’t think, can’t blink, can’t move. All he can do is watch the shades of green emanating from Mal’s eyes, casting everything around him in emerald and lime and harlequin. He wishes he could say something, then slipping into the back of his mind like a snake, words begin to form. 

Everything you say and do makes everyone believe you’re wildly in love with me. Even yourself. 

Everything you say and do makes everyone believe you’re wildly in love with me. Even yourself.  

“No, I get it.” Mal says out loud, sounding just like the strange orders permeating Ben’s mind. “You’re cautious, that’s smart.” 

Everything you say and do makes everyone believe you’re wildly in love with me. Even yourself.

“Oh well,” Mal sighs, “more for me I guess…”

Everything you say and do makes everyone believe you’re wildly in love with me. Even yourself. 

She holds up her sugary concoction between them. 

Everything you say and do makes everyone believe you’re wildly in love with me. Even yourself. 

Ben steps forward.

Everything you say and do makes everyone believe you’re wildly in love with me. Even yourself. 

He reaches out his hand, compelled by her, then hesitates.

Everything you say and do makes everyone believe you’re wildly in love with me. Even yourself. 

“Eat the cookie, Ben.” Mal says, her melodic voice sounding just the same out loud as it does echoing around his head. 

Everything you say and do makes everyone believe you’re wildly in love with me. Even yourself. 

“Eat it!” She snaps. Ben reaches out automatically, taking a bite. The glow in Mal’s eyes softens, a glint of that green still reflected in Ben’s, and he blinks, trying to come out of this strange stupor. 

“See?” He replies hazily. “I totally trust you. Totally.” 

Mal smirks. She glances over at her friends, who Ben didn’t even notice. Mal looks back at Ben. 

“...How are they?” She asks tentatively. Her heart pounds uncontrollably in her chest. This is the moment of truth. She can feel Evie and Jay and Carlos all holding their breath, right along with her. 

“They’re good, they’re great.” Ben answers quickly. “They’re amazing! They’re, uh…”

A warm, fizzy feeling fills his mouth, trickling down his throat as he swallows. 

“I mean, they’re warm, and chewy, and-” he sputters mindlessly. That addictive, bubbling, fizzy feeling spreads from his throat to his chest, making him feel all hazy and disoriented. “And, you know, they…”

He trails off for a moment. That warm, itchy fizzing feeling begins bubbling in his stomach, spreading throughout the rest of his body. 

“Is that walnuts?” He blurts out, continuing to ramble mindlessly about the cookies. “I love walnuts.”

She knows that, comes Mal’s voice in his mind again, she must know that. That’s why she put them in there. God, she’s so beautiful, and considerate too. Always thinking about other people before herself…

“And, um, you know, the chocolate… the- the chocolate…” he sputters. “The chocolate chips are… uh…”

The earth seems to move around him, absolving him of all his duties, all his responsibilities and obligations besides pleasing her. 

“Sorry. They’re, uh… they’re warm, and soft, and sweet…” He rambles, describing the angel before him more than the cookies. His breathing gets shallow as he subconsciously steps closer, needing her like he needs air. He’s fixating on her again, aching for another hit of that intoxicating look she had trapped him in.

“Mal, have you always had those little golden flecks in your eyes?” He murmurs, voice more low and intimate as he gazes down at her. He’s looking at her differently than he had been - that much is obvious. He reaches up to take another bite of the cookie and she gasps, grabbing it from him.

“I think that’s enough for now…” She says. Ben chuckles, his gaze unwavering. She’s so considerate, always looking out for him in little ways that no one else does. His pupils dilate as he stares at her, overwhelmed by a sense of familiarity, comfort. A strange, aged brew of feelings rises up through him. It makes him think of something, remind him of someone, but he can’t put his finger on it… He’s so wrapped up in the sensation that he doesn’t even notice Jay standing behind him until he speaks, placing his hands firmly - and somewhat roughly - on Ben’s shoulders.

“How you feeling, bro?” Jay asks. There’s a knowing element, a note of some inside information shared between Jay and his friends within his words, but it goes right over Ben’s head. Everything in his mind is screaming Mal Mal Mal! You want to be around Mal as much as possible! She’s your whole world, and you’re totally obsessed with her! 

“I feel… I- I feel…” Ben murmurs, eyes still locked on Mal’s as he tries to find the words, struggling to put his finger on it. A dreamy smile crosses his face.

“I feel like singing your name-”

Mal’s eyes widen in fear and she moves forward, clamping her hand over Ben’s mouth before he can even think about actually doing it. He wasn’t going to, but he smiles into her palm as he realizes she thought he was serious. 

“Okay, well,” Mal says softly with a nervous chuckle. They’re attracting too much attention like this already, and she knows they have to move on if they want a chance at pulling this off. “Don’t do that.”

Ben takes in a deep breath, and the scent of worn, grungy leather and spray paint fumes invades his senses. There’s something else too… nail polish? It’s intoxicating coming from her skin, dizzying, and he wants more. He takes her hand in his, holding it tenderly and inspecting it closely for a moment, his eyes fixated on her bitten nails. They glint in the afternoon light, reflecting off the sparkly, cracked mixture of purple and green polish. Just like her eyes. He looks up at her so softly, and it makes her feel sick. 

“When did you do this?” He asks, glancing back at her nail polish, his thumbs tenderly grazing over her fingers and knuckles. 

“Um-” Mal starts. She’s uncomfortable. She’s not used to having this much attention unless she’s getting screamed at or is knee deep in a gang fight. She’s… unsure of what to do with Ben looking at her like that. He continues before she can try to figure out a response.

“It looks really good, it… it suits you…” He says wistfully, staring at her hand and wanting so badly to kiss it. He looks back up at Mal, and the intensity in his eyes, in his body language makes her waver for a moment. She looks over Ben’s shoulder at Jay, silently begging to bail her out. Jay bites back a laugh at the sight of big bad Mal squirming when someone shows interest in her, but he nods anyway. 

“We gotta go, we have a big tourney match to get ready for.” Jay says, playfully shaking Ben’s shoulders in hopes of snapping him out of his stupor. It doesn’t work, but he hears what Jay is saying anyway. “Right Carlos?”

Carlos blinks, walking closer to help drag Ben away. 

“Uh, right. See you later, Mal.” He says, shooting Mal a thumbs up, silently congratulating her on pulling off such a complicated, difficult spell. Ben feels his heart plummet as Jay pulls him away, Mal’s hand slipping out of his. He twists around in Jay’s grip, struggling to not let her out of his sight yet. You can’t leave her yet, you can’t! 

“You’ll- you’ll be at the tourney match, right Mal?” He asks, a distinct note of desperation reaching for her as he speaks. 

“Yup.” She answers with a performative smile, skin crawling at all the attention he’s throwing at her. “I’ll be the one in purple.”

She mutters the last part under her breath, muscle memory kicking in as she deflects her unexpected discomfort with verbal jabs. She doesn’t think anyone will hear her remark, much less acknowledge it if they do, but she flinches a little as Ben laughs loudly. “I’ll see you there.” He says, beaming at her. Mal can’t remember the last time she made someone laugh out of anything other than fear. 

“I’ll see you right after.” 

He repeats it desperately, like a prayer. Like he’s trying to convince himself that the pain of being apart from her will be over soon. A cold sweat breaks out on the back of Mal’s neck. She grabs Evie’s arm, desperate for some sense of comfort, and walks away as quick as she can without breaking out into a full blown sprint. 

Jay and Carlos attempt to drag Ben away, a little surprised at how hard he’s fighting to look back at Mal every few seconds. Eventually, after a lot of squirming at talking out loud about how great she is, how pretty her eyes are, isn’t she just the best, they manage to get Ben to the tourney field to get ready for the match. Ben stumbles through his usual routine when getting ready for a match, his head swimming the entire time. He’s completely preoccupied with thoughts of Mal. Soon it’s time to head out onto the field, and it couldn’t come sooner. 

Mal is out there, waiting for him, and he is not going to let her down. He calls out morale boosting chants with the rest of the team, psyching himself up to lead his team to victory, because Mal is going to be up in the stands watching him. He’s going to break records, play the best game of tourney in history for her. Everything he does is for her.

[kale-of-the-forbidden-cities]

Della Vacker post

I made this doodle of her while i was supposed to be working on artfight refs, but not to worry! i finished those just in time today :>

notice the Vacker registry pendant and prime sources chain. Notice how anxious she looks!

and now for the playlist which will make more sense after you've read the headcanons. You don't have to think it's perfect or in character, that's okay, it's just stuff i came up with

and now under the cut is my 15 page google doc thoughts of Della Vacker, from when she started dating Alden to Legacy-ish?? warning i think they get worse as they go, don't focus on the stuff after book 1 time, i'm not sure if i like it as much as i do the other as far as writing and wording goes and stuff

if you do take the time to read this, comment on it as much as you want!!! it feels good when people point out specific parts hehe

TW: mentions of eating disorders and ~uncomfortable age gaps~

Alden and Della had sort of an arranged marriage, with Alden on Della's match lists when she was sixteen, and her parents saw and were delighted to see a Vacker as her number one, but Della tried to argue, saying he’s a hundred years older, but by the time Alden got his next list she was nineteen and invited to his Winnowing Gala. Della was standing among all these girls who were mostly at least 30 years older than her, and she was terrified. She didn’t feel good enough to be there. She felt out of place. But Alden’s parents seemed to really like her, though she couldn’t tell if that was because they actually did or if it was just because she and Alden were each other’s top matches. She felt super weird about it, and he felt weird about it too, but despite the age gap, they were kind of pressured into getting together. 

And at first it was sooooooo awkward. They didn’t feel comfortable around each other, and Della still felt like a kid next to him. Not to mention the sheer perfection of him, and the other Vackers. This is where some other headcanons start coming in, with Della not feeling perfect enough, and she began to develop an eating disorder. 

This whole thing is so stressful for her, but her parents are happy, and Alden seems happy, who is she to ruin it? She was once an enjoyer of gossip, but now she's part of it, there were speculations about her from the very first date with alden, and she's not used to it! She's not used to being in the spotlight! 

Della: (surprised) I'm... I'm in the news? 

Alden: Oh... Yes, that happens. 

Della: ... But I only just started dating you- is- is that even public yet? 

Alden: No, but we did go out yesterday... 

Della: ... but I'm not a Vacker... I can't... (trails off) 

Alden: ...

Della goes for a walk in Atlantis and feels everyone watching her, and she can't take it, she feels like she's crumbling under the pressure (even though not that many people were actually looking or saying or thinking anything bad, but she saw a few people glance her way, someone pointed at her and whispered) and she breaks down, tears start to well up, and she tries to get somewhere to be alone, but it's Atlantis, she can't just leap away, she has to go back the way she came, and she's crying and she can't breathe and people are really staring now and really talking about her and someone tries to come help but she doesn't think that's what they're there to do, she runs away, she's running through crowded streets until she finally makes it out, and once her bubble thing lets her go she sits on the ground and sobs.

And of course people saw this whole thing, and they were talking about her all over again, but this time it wasn't just speculation about her relationship with Alden, this time it was people saying she wasn't fit to be a Vacker, that she was unstable and unpredictable and mentally ill for... crying? Well then, she can't let anyone see her cry ever again.

And at some points she wishes Alden would leave her or break up with her or something but after the stories and stuff about her were published he just hailed her and asked if she was okay. And this was before she'd read them. He seemed to care about her, and Della just thinks she's bringing shame on him, but he assures her that she isn't, and it's okay, and that it will blow over and that there's no reason to worry.

She becomes very familiar with that phrase, and learns to take it to heart. She's okay. He's okay. Everything is okay. even when she feels like dying, even when she realizes she hasn't eaten in three days and almost passes out in public and she feels terrified whenever she goes out with him and everything feels like too much and goddamnit why won't he leave her what does he still see in her why couldn't she have just enjoyed her after-foxfire years normally why why why???

But then as Alden cares for her and he doesn't leave her and he smiles for real, his smile is so unlike all the pictures she's seen, it's so soft and small and hesitant and his eyes look so gentle and happy and oh prime sources, after three years she's really falling for him and oh no this is awful, she feels so conflicted. She wanted him to leave her but now she doesn't want to leave him. 

After four years they finally share their first kiss, and it's... real. 

It's by no means a long kiss, but it feels like forever, time slows as thoughts race through Della’s mind and she thinks oh no. And then they pull apart, and she's tearing up, and mentally beating herself up for it, which only makes her need to cry more, and she can't breathe but Alden doesn't seem to get it, he's confused, he looks hurt, he asks whats wrong, so she chokes it down and tells him she's okay, just... really happy. I get emotional, she says with a forced laugh. 

And she accepts her fate. 

She’s trapped. 

Unless Alden ever has a sudden change of heart, she can't go anywhere.

Della was raised religious, but it wasn't nearly as strict as the Vackers. That's another thing she has to get used to - she has to carefully learn every ritual, all the history she might need to know, she doesn't want them to think she's not good enough. She has to fit into this family, and if she's a square in a circle hole, then she'll just have to cut off her own corners to fit. 

She didn't really expect it to go this long - she had three boyfriends when she was in Foxfire, but they all went by super fast, obviously. And they were never serious. But Alden was serious. Her parents wanted her to be serious. the Vackers were serious. 

Alden and Della obviously took things very very slowly, mostly due to the age gap and how uncomfortable they used to be around each other. They'd kissed twice after five years of dating, and it still feels so... new. They're careful in public, Della isn't herself anymore. She used to be so much happier. Now she's an empty shell, and sometimes life doesn't feel worth living.... but she's okay, she's okay, she's okay. There’s no reason to worry. Everything is perfect! She learns how to force a smile when people begin speculating about her mental health again... and she's not eating. She doesn't feel perfect enough. She hates her body, her face, her hair, she hates how ugly she feels standing next to Alden, her boyfriend, though that word feels wrong on her tongue. Even after a decade, she still messes up, says the wrong things and gets weird looks and she feels like the world could swallow her up, she could get murdered and it would be her fault.

Alden of course notices this, because, duh, he's not blind, but he doesn't know what to do. He waits for a few months, trying to let it pass because he's not good with words and... maybe if he pretends she's okay, she'll be okay. he just has to believe it and treat her as he has been - he does care, he just doesn't know what to do. He's trying to believe, but it's getting so hard to pretend because oh god she just collapsed in the middle of the room and she's not waking up and he's not very strong but he can pick her up easily and take her to the couch and he sits by her as he waits for a physician and he's trying so hard not to cry, but maybe she's worth crying over, he's so scared for her. Pretending everything was okay wasn't what she needed at all. He should have done something.

Della obviously ends up fine, but she doesn't talk to Alden about it. He apologizes and asks if she's okay, and she assures him he is, she says sorry, she promises to do better.

And she’s okay. 

She takes a deep breath and forces herself to eat. 

To prove she’s okay. 

She even hides the scale from herself for a few months. She's okay.

Well, now that she knows her limits she can be even better than before. 

Time flies by, and Alden and Della are closer than ever. They're not as close as the average couple that has been dating for a year, even though they've been together for ten, twenty, thirty. They love and care about each other, but there's.... something. Della gets better! She makes friends with some of Alden's friends, Grady and Edaline. They're also much older than her, but she's older now, too, so age shouldn't matter like it did when she was nineteen. Still, she feels the need to be polite in the same way she is to Alden's family. Despite that, it's... nice to be around them. To have conversations with Edaline while Alden is out, to have friends! She hasn't had those since the world started to judge her! Nobody wanted to be caught up in that kind of drama. She meets Edaline's sister, and they get along even better! Until she runs into her in the street and they talk for a while, and then the next day there's a picture of them in the news! Juline is a bad match, how could Della forget how could she mess up so badly how could she be so selfish to want anything for herself, how could she have slipped up like that!!!

She apologizes to Alden as soon as she sees him, then stops talking to Juline. Edaline has seen the article, and while this kind of thing doesn't matter to her, she understands why it would matter to Della. She's observant. She can tell that Della isn't okay. She and Juline talk, and they agree to let her go without asking questions. She clearly doesn't need more stress. Della is anxious to talk to Grady and Edaline for a bit after that, but when she does, they don't even bring up her suddenly cutting Juline off. Della wonders if she should bring it up, but she doesn't want to start trouble. So she pretends everything is fine and resists the urge to ask Eda how her sister is doing. 

This would be the time where Della would start visiting the Forbidden Cities and learning how to defend herself - going to the human world is freeing, but it comes with its risks. She's cautious not to get caught, and she's careful not to get hurt while she's there. In the Forbidden Cities, nobody knows her. She learns both how to hold her Vanishing for a long time, but also how to resist the light passing through her with each step she takes. Humans definitely don't blink in and out of sight as they walk. She learns a human language (in my headcanon it's Spanish, which she later teaches to her kids, while Alden teaches them English). She’s interested in human culture.

Luzia gifts Everglen to Alden, and he has it rebuilt, because the pressure to make things permanent with Della is starting to grow - he's been in relationships before, and they've all gone by so fast compared to this one. He feels differently about Della, he's actually gotten to know her, he thinks he's seen her at her worst. Della hears the whispers about marriage and gets terrified. She could really be Radelle Vacker. It's not the name she tried on at thirteen, fantasizing about marrying into the family, just for fun. It's an actual possibility.

Della had been living in an apartment since her twenties, she never felt like she could handle getting attached to a house the way most elves do. Besides, she liked the limited space - there was less to do with it, less options, but so many ways to decorate and make it hers. Unlike everything else in her life. Just because she appreciates beauty and fancy things, well, it doesn't have to be big to be beautiful. That was her place of peace. But then... Alden suggested she move into Everglen with him, after it gets rebuilt. And how could she say no? She can't. She hasn't said no to Alden once in all these decades. Not like he was too sure of what to do, either. Their relationship was the best pace it could have been for the two of them. And so Della moves into Everglen, and... gives up her apartment. And Everglen is big. It makes her feel small and anxious. But she'll get used to it. One time she had to cross the house to get a cup of water in the middle of the night - it was so eerie. She kept a cup by her bed from then on.

Another thing she gave up was her trips to the Forbidden Cities. She still wanted to go, and definitely could have, but she just stopped being able to find the time to visit as frequently, and eventually stopped going altogether. 

Now that they were living together, of course, people found out and started saying things and making more assumptions about Alden and Della's relationship, things that Della did not even feel nearly ready for - and they're not even married! They don't even share a room, let alone a bed! She feels kind of gross when she thinks about it for too long. but she's okay. She's getting good at this.

Until, to "celebrate" or whatever, Alden's parents suggest a family gathering at Everglen. Of course, Della is there. She already felt uncomfortable around Alden's parents, so she didn't expect it to go that well, but she wasn't expecting the sheer number of fancy intimidating and perfect Vackers that were there - she felt like scum next to them. And with the way some of them looked at her, she might as well have been. She made herself eat so they wouldn't go making assumptions about her health or mental well being, but after dinner, she excused herself and threw it all up in the bathroom. It wasn't even on purpose, she just felt that nauseous. She couldn't stay away for too long, though, because this was Alden's house, and being Alden's girlfriend, she'd surely be missed. So she gathers herself and returns for dessert, which she isn't able to stomach much of. She didn't notice until that night, but Alden seems so... stiff. And unnatural. Around the rest of his family. He's smiling, but that's not his smile. Della knows his smile! And she starts to wonder if Alden ever feels like she does. Despite how much he truly seems to belong here. Unlike she does.... she's not good enough.

And then Alden stands up and says he'd like to announce something, and he talks for a bit, then he mentions Della and she's forced to focus and listen and she doesn't even remember what he said, just that he wasn't looking at her, he was looking at his parents, while talking about her, and then he reached into his cape and turned around and kneeled down and

“Della, will you marry me?” 

And she freezes up and everything stops and her heart pounds in her ears and she feels like she might throw up again and then she chokes up and looks Alden in the eyes and the tears come before she can stop them, but she doesn't stop them because.... people cry at proposals all the time. It's normal. It's... an emotional moment. That's why she's crying. She's just. so. happy.

So she covers her mouth with her hands and says what she knows she has to say.

“Yes.” 

Except it's muffled and squeaky and choked so she nods to get her point across, she slowly stands up and steps towards Alden, and something in his eyes changes as he wraps his arms around her. Understanding, maybe? He's just as trapped as she is, isn’t he?

She cries into his chest, but they're definitely not happy tears. She can force a smile and pretend they are, but that doesn't make it any better. For a moment all she hears is herself sobbing and Alden's heartbeat, pounding much too hard for someone who could be truly at peace. Then the applause starts, and she cries harder, making herself feel even sicker. But this is the first time she's let tears fall in - no, has it really been a year? Has it been more? Less? She doesn't know. But it's been a while. And it's all coming out at once and the rush of hands clapping is taking over but she has to breathe. breathe. breathe. Alden rubs her back, and she focuses on that, she focuses on his smell.

And she breathes. 

In, out. 

She’s okay. 

She’s crying, but she’s happy, right? 

How could she be anything but happy? 

She’s… engaged. 

To Alden Vacker. 

So many people would give anything for this. People would crash weddings for a chance at marrying Alden Vacker. The world envies her. She even loves Alden! And she knows she does!

So why isn’t she happy??? 

Where’s the feeling she’s been missing for so long? 

She stands by the door as the Vackers leave, squeezing Alden's hand as she nods and smiles at each of the Vackers leaving. She's never even seen most of them. She recognizes Alden's parents, and of course Luzia Vacker, Fallon Vacker, Orem Vacker, and a few others she's read about in elvin history. She really is a part of them now.

But she doesn’t feel good enough. 

Her smile falls as soon as the last ones leave, and Alden isn't looking at her, and they need to talk about what to do, they need to talk about what happened, they need to celebrate, they need to...

Alden speaks up first. 

And he says,

“I’m sorry.” 

And he walks away. 

Della stares after him, feeling the light pass through her. She doesn't know how to feel. Alden just apologized... for proposing to her? She should feel hurt, but... she gets it. She's sorry, too.

She goes back over to the table to clean up all the plates left there, with the intent of getting her mind off of things, but... it's a giant table. It's overwhelming. She sits down and takes a half empty glass of wine that isn't even hers. She takes a deep breath and releases it in a long, slow, sigh.

She doesn't even finish the glass, but she feels sick like she's had five or ten. Or, she feels like what she thinks it'd be like? She's never actually gotten drunk, but she knows it can make you throw up. In any case, she knows she will not be getting drunk tonight. She needs to keep it together. She's okay.

The next morning, they act like they normally do, but they both know of the unspoken tension, the hurt and guilt and shame because of that disaster of a proposal that neither of them wanted to do yet. Especially not like that, in front of the Vackers. Della used to fantasize about her dream proposal - it would have been somewhere beautiful, maybe under the stars, remote and quiet. Certainly not in a well-lit room with every Vacker looking at her. She imagined tears, but she also imagined being happy. She imagined looking into her lover's eyes and smiling softly, and kissing them. Not whatever happened last night. 

But who is she to complain...

For a week, they try to pretend everything is like it was, like it has been... But then they both realize that it will never go back. They can’t go back. So they start planning the wedding. And we all know how that went. 

If you look closely in pictures taken when Alina was trying to get Alden to run away with her, you might see a glimmer of hope and desperation in Della's eyes, mixed with the shock and anxiety that was there already. For a moment Alden looked like he was about to leave and go with her - but then he snapped out of it. He was being beguiled. 

Of course, it could have just been the angle of the picture that painted that look on Della's face.

The Vackers are all freaking out after the wedding, but most pin the blame on Alina alone, and most are pleased with the end result of it - and they almost seem genuine when they smile at Della now. For once she's done something right? Do they think she handled it well? 

And honestly? Della is much happier in the week following the wedding - it's their "honeymoon period," in which they mostly just stay in Everglen where it's quiet and the world can't get to them. They invite Grady and Edaline over for tea, but that's the extent of their social interaction. For a short while. Then they're expected to go back to normal. They have to go out to work, they have to talk to people, and of course endure the speculation on what other things they could have been doing during that time. 

Now Alden and Della aren't great at communication but at this point with all the rumors and expectations to continue the Vacker family line, they do have to talk about it at some point. They just.... might procrastinate a bit.

Until finally, Della is the one to bring it up. 

She asks if he wants kids and he blinks, then says he doesn't know. He asks if she does, because if she does, he'll go along with it, of course. But she says she doesn't know either. They sit there at the table for a few minutes, neither looking at the other. They're not used to talking or making decisions together. Most of their decisions had been made for them until now.

So they wait a bit longer, until the pressure from their families and society becomes too much and they agree that they do want kids, even though they're still not sure. Except they've never even slept in the same bed... so they start there. And it's nice, actually. They no longer feel awkward just being around each other, and sometimes they cuddle, without saying anything. They'll lay down, and by morning Della is curled up in his arms and they're sharing a blanket. It's nice.

But they know they have to take it a step further eventually... and there's a big difference between cuddling fully clothed and... having a child. The last time Della had ever done anything remotely sexual was when she was a teenager, and Alden has even less experience. They don't even feel comfortable changing with the other there. They don't know how they're going to do this.

Okay, so they think, "well, Grady and Edaline have a kid, maybe we should talk to them.” And so they do! Which is like, really big for them, opening up and communicating and talking about their relationship with someone else - it's big. And scary. But... they're in the same boat. They're in this together. And soon, almost a year after they said they would... They have a child.

Both of them are really scared, because they didn't exactly have the best relationship with their own parents or the best childhood, and when Della finds out she's pregnant, she tells Alden immediately, and... he cries. He tries to pretend he's just happy, but Della has pulled that trick too many times for it to work on her. She sits by him, takes his hand, closes her eyes, and quietly admits that she's terrified. She tells him her fears about not being a good parent, and Alden is nodding along. He feels the same. He takes her hand, kisses her forehead, and promises that they'll do this together. But they have to talk about things, just like they're talking now. Della touches his cheek, wiping off a tear, and says, "I like it when we talk like this. It feels good." she leans on him, and he holds her.

And Della learns to take better care of herself, because it's not just her. She's actually eating every day, especially since Elwin noticed that she was a bit underweight when he first checked her. She grows more and more anxious the more time passes, and is constantly hailing Edaline to ask if x thing is normal for pregnancy. Edaline helps calm her by telling her baby stories about Jolie. She even gives her some of Jolie's old baby things, and Della is very grateful. Alden is just as stressed, and spends lots of time taking care of Della and figuring out what to prepare. When it was too early in the pregnancy to really start setting up a room yet, he tried to baby proof the entirety of Everglen, which is obviously impossible with all the wide staircases and tile floors and fancy crystal and sharp corners. But he tried. He settled for baby proofing the part of the house where Alvar's room was going to be, right by Alden and Della's room, then adding a baby gate in the hallway. This was not his idea, he was still trying to do the whole house when Edaline had to stop him.

Grady and Edaline bring Jolie over a lot and she tells them all about all the stuff that used to be hers, and when they knew Alvar's gender they let her help choose names. Being a brutally honest child (I think like 9 or 10, correct me if I'm wrong) she made a face at one of the names Alden suggested.

Of course, preparing for Alvar wasn't the only thing stressing Della out. They tried to keep it on the down low for a while, but of course the world found out about Della being pregnant. And there were so many predictions and speculation and people were even bringing up her "mental health struggles" (not that she doesn't have those, but they literally just saw her crying in public once) and wondering how she could be a good parent and how her child would turn out as an adult. Edaline saw how this was getting to her and told her to stop reading them so she wasn't as stressed, and finally convinced her by saying it'd be better for the baby if she could like. chill out a bit. 

And then Alvar is born, and everyone cries, and yes, Della is stressed and anxious and scared but they are happy tears! She can't help but smile as she looks at Alvar, so small and fragile and she wants to shield him from the harsh reality of the world. Alden seems almost scared to hold him, like he's afraid he'll break him if he messes up or does something wrong. He sits down by Della so she can help him make sure he does it right. Grady, Edaline, and Elwin are there to help if needed. Jolie is at Brant's house (I believe they’ve met by now). Della closes her eyes and breathes, and the moment is so... perfect. really, truly, perfect.

For a long time, things are great! they really couldn't be better... Alden and Della aren't perfect at parenting, but they're doing their best. They're managing a balance between their work and family fairly well. Like I said, they're not perfect. They do mess up. A lot. And they're super hard on themselves. But... they're trying. Alvar is growing up fairly happy, and when Jolie is old enough, she (and sometimes Brant) babysit him sometimes. Alden and Della are closer than ever with Grady and Eda, and Jolie, too. For the Vackers, the Ruewens are the first example of a healthy family that they've gotten to see.

Now, they say all good things must come to an end. 

Della is the happiest she’s been. Ever. 

And then Jolie dies. 

Everything fell apart then. the Ruewens were like family to Della and Alden, and Jolie was almost like a daughter or niece to them. And for Alvar? She had been a part of his life before he was even born. His special stuffie belonged to her, and he couldn't even fully grasp the concept of death yet. He kept asking where Jolie was, and Della couldn't explain it to him. Alden couldn't either, he'd never been good with words. Della had to keep telling him that she went away and she's not coming back, trying to explain death while still reeling from the shock of the news herself. At one point she got up and locked herself in the bathroom for a while, away from Alvar's questions and away from everything. Alden spent most of his days in his office, working. Della, on the other hand, had to take a break from work for a while. She knew the moment she left Everglen, she would be judged for grieving, grieving wrong, not grieving enough - whatever she did, it would be wrong. And it wasn't even her child who died. She wanted to comfort or help Edaline and Grady somehow, but she couldn't. She couldn't even get out of bed for a while. Alden didn’t really know this, because he'd been sleeping in his office.

All of this really affects Alvar's little child brain, but we can talk about his trauma another time. The planting happens, and the Vackers are right at the front. Alvar has finally gone quiet, and he seems to realize that she's really not coming back. He tries to go over to Brant after the proceedings, but he's kinda... unstable. Alden tells him it's time to go, so Alvar gives Brant a hug and goes back to his parents.

Even though they got that bit of closure, they're still broken. There's a wound that cannot be healed. A hole that cannot be filled. Della's mental health plummets, and for a bit, there is nobody taking care of Alvar. He plays alone in his room until he gets bored and goes to his parents room, where Della is usually curled up in bed, thinking too much and not thinking at the same time. Alden comes in one night and lays down next to her, reaching out his hand like they did when they were still figuring out how to be comfortable together. Della places her hand on top of his, and they sit there for a long time. Alvar comes in and crawls between them, placing his tiny hand on top of Della's. The three of them fall asleep there. 

Slowly, they recover. In a year they're seemingly okay again. But nothing is the same. Della and Alden are more distant from both each other and Alvar. And the wound never healed, only scarred over.

And whether that feeling of something missing affected their decision to have another child is up to speculation, but they did have another child. Part of it was also because Della felt like she had failed Alvar, that she had let him down when Jolie died, and she didn't know how to talk to him or fix things. He wasn't doing bad in Foxfire, he was actually doing better than Della had. But Alden didn't seem to think it was good enough. Or rather, his parents didn't. Alden didn't really seem all that bothered by anything Alvar was doing. He had a habit of getting too wrapped up in work, especially after Jolie died. But Alden's parents sometimes hailed him or came over, mostly to tell him how disappointed they were in how he was raising Alvar. And Della heard them blaming her, a few times. But she didn't know how to fix it. And he was still a level one - surely he had time to turn out okay?

They end up having Fitzroy Alden Fallon Avery Vacker, whose initials they did not think through (Jolie would have thought about it). But this time they feel like they're having this child alone. sure, it's their second one, but there's still no one to just... be with them. Help them. Della is still anxious, but she has no one to stop her from looking at the news, no baby stories to look back on except Alvar's, though even his have turned sad. Jolie was there for so many of them... 

Over time, they become a lot stricter with Alvar. And as Fitz (and Biana) grow older, both Alden and Della begin trying to force them into perfection. Alvar is so different and so unwilling to fit into what their family is supposed to be that Alden and Della have all but given up on him. And for Alvar, well it obviously doesn't feel great to be given up on, which really only makes him further apart from the others. He feels out of place everywhere. At home he isn't perfect enough, he has too much of an attitude, he's placed last in priority. At school, he's a Vacker. He can't escape it. It's who he is.

Prentice's mind break (if I'm mathing correctly) happened while Della was pregnant with Biana. And Alden was never really the same after it. He'd never been very talkative, but he became more distant than ever. He barely left his office, kept forgetting to eat or drink water or sleep. He got better over time, but he still smiles much less than he used to.

When Biana is born, the public doesn't really know how to feel about her. Two children is fine, but three? Isn't that pushing it a bit? So Biana grows up with people asking everything of her, but half expecting nothing. She was so scared she wasn't even going to manifest (which is a bit unrealistic but with the way things were exaggerated, she thought being talentless was very likely. Della was also very afraid of this possibility).

The happiest years for anyone in this family were from when Alvar was born to when Jolie died. Things don't seem like they'll ever be better.

Alden is forcing Fitz and Biana to be perfect to protect the family legacy. Della is forcing them to be perfect to protect them. She knows how cruel the world can be. But her “protection” doesn't come across in the best way. At home, she subtly brings attention to all their little flaws, and when they go out, she makes sure they hide them all. When they cry, she gently tells them not to, that it's okay, that they're okay, everything is okay.

After Alden recovered from the mind break, he suddenly started talking to Alvar (who was struggling a lot with Neverseen stuff and depression and an eating disorder at the time) more. And he wouldn't let Della know what they were talking about. Della stopped trusting Alden. Not that she ever truly had, but this was different.

And Alden and Della grew further apart. Nobody would know, of course, since when they're out in public or when others are around, they act as in love as ever. But sometimes they go all day without talking to each other. Della spends time with Fitz and Biana, takes them places, teaches them how to survive in this family. She teaches them how to be the best version of themselves. They are 3 and 5. Alvar is at school most of the day, and out doing... whatever until nearly sunset. Della could ask, but Alden seems like he has it covered, so it doesn't really matter. She knows she's starting to be apathetic again, and she doesn't want to be, especially when it comes to her kids, but it's so hard not to.

But then Alvar enters the elite levels, and Alden starts spending more time with Fitz. He keeps him in his office all day, but then Della goes in once and Alden is alone. Where is Fitz? She asks him, and he informs her that he's at a friend's house. Where did Fitz get friends? She should be happy for him, but something about all of this feels so wrong. But she doesn't press further. If she shows that she doesn't trust Alden, will people use that against her too? So she doesn't even question it, and instead works on becoming closer with Biana, so Alden can't take her away, too. Maybe she's being overdramatic about it, but that wrong feeling hasn't gone away. Maybe it's just anxiety. Maybe she's fine. No, she is fine. It's not a maybe. She's okay. Their family is okay.

This also creates a divide between Fitz and Biana, who used to be close as little kids. But now Fitz is disappearing every day, and Della is keeping Biana away from him and Alden, and Alvar never comes home, except briefly during breaks and weekends, but then he goes to stay stars know where. Fitz and Biana have vastly different personalities. Biana has learned to be confident and defensive, while Fitz... well, he doesn't know how to act around people. He's learned to depend only on Alden, because nobody else trusts him and he can't trust anyone else. The golden years of this corner of the family are far behind them, and now all they have is perfectionism, distrust, and a facade.

Della thinks that by bringing attention to all Fitz and Biana’s little flaws and imperfections, by pointing them out in subtle ways, she thinks that will give them a chance to "fix" them before the world notices and attacks them for it. She tells herself she wishes someone had done this to her before she had to learn for herself to be perfect. 

Fitz started going to foxfire, and Della can tell he's not really okay. Did they ever get him enrolled in tutor sessions? Maybe that's where he's been going off to? She hasn't been paying enough attention. They used to have dinner together as a family every night, but then Alden got busy, Fitz started bringing his food up to his room when he started school and became swamped with way more homework than what can be good and normal for an eleven year old. So Della usually ended up sitting at the table with Biana after making some food. She figures this is a good meal to skip. Two meals a day is more than enough.

Suddenly, everything changes. Suddenly, Sophie is there, and Fitz seems so much less tired. He seems less stressed. He joins Biana and Della for dinner, and sometimes even Alden sits and eats with them as well. Things are far from perfect, but Alden is smiling genuinely again. Only sometimes, but it's there. Della decides she likes this change. But she also realizes something...

Fitz was always either away or sick, Sophie was in the forbidden cities, where there are lots of human illnesses (she knows from experience). Alden never told her why he had Fitz get up so early to talk to him alone, Alden never talks to her anymore, goddamnit- what was Fitz doing? Alden couldn't have found Sophie. He couldn't have, she knows for a fact he never leaves! He was meeting with the council right before Sophie arrived with Fitz, in her strange human clothes, and Fitz was wearing human clothes and prime sources, she's thinking about this too much and she can't breathe - this has been going on for so long?? How could she not have seen?

No, she needs to stay calm. She... needs to talk to Alden about this. He's been busy today, but she takes two plates of food to his office in the evening, gently opens the door, and sits by him. Alden clearly thinks this is unusual, but she can't tell if it's in a positive or negative way. But that's not important. They need to talk. After a few bites of food, she prepares the question. Were you sending Fitz to the Forbidden Cities? she prepares it in her mind, has it on the tip of her tongue, she opens her mouth to speak, but what comes out instead is...

“How was your day?” 

Alden blinks, like that's not what he was expecting. It's not what Della was expecting either. But she's not ready to confront his lies, she's not ready to face the reality of the danger Fitz was in for quite possibly eight years? And that's how Alden and Della end up sitting in Alden's office for hours, having the longest, most normal conversation they've had in years. They sit together and watch the sun set. Della leans on him. She missed having someone to hold her. Alden missed the feeling of being loved.

Alden and Della sort of work on mending their relationship after this, but they don't really talk about Fitz and what Alden had him do. Della never feels ready to bring it up, and eventually she puts the whole thing out of her mind. After all, Fitz is fine, it's like it never happened. But it did happen, and she doesn't notice the ways this affected Fitz because she's too busy pretending everything is fine and forcing him to do the same! Sometimes it's less pretending and more just. lying to herself. Trying to trick herself into believing. One of the ways she's done this for herself these past decades is telling herself that other people have it worse. If someone is suffering more than her, her pain doesn't matter. going to the Forbidden Cities kind of ingrained this in her brain more, as she saw people who were literally starving to death on the street, and here she was, living in this fancy mansion with a good husband - after all, he's not abusive or anything, and she really loves him. Things are just… weird, sometimes. And she sort of ends up passing this mentality down to Biana and Fitz? There's a time in Flashback where Fitz says it's only fair that all this is happening - because everyone else in the friend group had a really hard time at least at one point in their life, and usually over a long time - he's fine! He's had it good. How could he complain?

Alden went to Exile with Sophie in book 2, but nobody knew about it. Well, nobody was supposed to know, until Sophie transmitted to Fitz and got him all freaked out. All Della really knows is that he got hurt on a mission from the Council, and he really didn’t seem to want to talk about it. When she tried to ask, he used the “no reason to worry” phrase three different times in that conversation. He was clearly stressed and upset about something, but he convinced her to drop it. He ended up falling asleep in his office that night, but that happens sometimes. Everything was looking bright for everyone else, until the Opening Ceremonies. You all know what happened there, so i’m not gonna go into it, but when Alden’s mind broke, Della was devastated. As far as everyone knew, he wasn’t coming back. He was dead, they had a planting for him. She didn’t eat for days. Alvar was basically taking care of the whole family, because Alden was gone and Della spent most of her time by Alden’s side, trying to bring him back. Alvar tried to convince her to leave every day, until one day he snapped and yelled at her, he’s gone and he’s not coming back, stop hoping. It was the same kind of thing she had told him when they lost Jolie. 

But unlike Jolie, Alden did come back, and the Vackers tried to erase the phase of their life where he was gone. They wanted to pretend that Keefe was right, that everything had gone back to perfection in Vacker Land. But this kind of thing leaves a lasting effect. They were afraid to even talk about what had happened with Alden, for fear that he’d break from the guilt of being gone and affecting them like that. Della still visits his Wanderling sometimes, not to mourn, but... for some other reason. There’s something surreal about looking at the tree, knowing full well Alden is okay at home. 

Another quick thing I want to touch on is in book 3 when Alden and Fitz went to help with Fintan’s mind healing. Della and Biana spent the afternoon and evening together, trying to do fun things to take their mind off of things. But then they heard about the fire and saw pictures before Alden and Fitz had even come home, and they understandably freaked out. The fire had consumed half of Eternalia, how could they have gotten out? How could they be okay? But they were, and both Vackers were strangled with hugs as soon as they got back. 

Della went with Fitz and Biana to join the Black Swan, partially because she wanted to, partially because she felt she should keep an eye on them and keep them at least semi in line, and partially because she wanted to escape the world and their pressing stares. And Everglen, a little bit. Juline was there, of course, but Della didn’t really know it was her. 

When Squall wasn't busy and didn't need to rush home, Della actually ended up talking to her a bit. Della was a little more honest (key word a little) with her because she obviously wasn't like the general public - she's a Black Swan member. At one point Squall actually thinks Della is about to call her out on being Juline when Della tells her she reminds her of someone she used to know, and hey, she's a Froster, too! But Della seems genuinely unaware as she sort of explains what happened with this old friend of hers - she's a bad match, and Della was seen talking with her... and she felt like she had no choice but to cut her off. Squall listens, but only half processes it because she's waiting for the "you're Juline aren't you?" But it never comes. 

After Alvar’s betrayal, Della knew a lot of people blamed her for how he ended up. After all, how could Alden Vacker have gone wrong? It was clearly Della’s influence that caused this. And she blames herself, too. She gave up on him. She didn’t talk to him enough. This whole thing also made the distrust in the Vacker family a lot worse - either Fitz or Biana said in Lodestar that it was like their parents wanted to know everything they’re doing, every place they go. They didn’t trust them. Fitz and Biana were growing closer after everything that had happened the past few years, but Della and Alden didn’t trust them, didn’t trust each other. This led to a lot of arguments between them and the kids, maybe not screaming matches, but raised voices and slammed fists and fighting back tears. When Keefe joined the Neverseen, Fitz shut himself in his room until school started again. He got quieter, and started to feel like he couldn’t trust anyone, even his sister, who he’d been taught to keep secrets from at a very young age. Della wanted to fix this somehow, she didn’t want to lose them like she’d lost Alvar - She wouldn’t give up on them. But she ended up just becoming overbearing and seemingly nosy. She thought she was helping. 

If I remember correctly, the others got told that Squall is Juline in Lodestar when they came to pick up their kids from Rimeshire. Juline gathers everyone and says she has to tell them something, and when she reveals it, Della's smile drops faster than it ever has and she feels blood drain from her face. Juline never looks directly at her, and Della is panicking, thinking about how Juline must hate her. She wonders if she should try to push her away more, but... at this point what does it matter? Fitz and Biana already spend lots of time with Dex, and they just slept over at the Dizznees- she joined an illegal organization with them for stars’ sake! So... it's fine. It's okay for her to be here, at rimeshire, talking to Juline. The world is changing, and people have bigger things to talk about than Alden Vacker’s wife sharing a conversation with Juline Dizznee. As they leave Rimeshire, Juline meets her eyes and offers a small smile. Della nods in return. 

When Alvar had his memories wiped and returned to Everglen, Della was determined to help him. She had this second chance, she wasn’t going to ruin it. She wanted to really believe he’d changed. But then Alvar got his memories back, and in front of the whole world at the celestial festival, he told everyone how his parents had given up on him. Della and Alden were watching that entire thing, as the world watched them, and Della couldn’t breathe. She watched Fitz threaten to kill Alvar, and for a few horrifying moments she thought she was about to lose both of them. And it was her fault, wasn’t it? That’s what everyone said. They blamed her. Alvar blamed her. She wouldn’t be surprised if Fitz and Biana blamed her, too. 

Ever since what the world has canonically deemed the “Scandal at Everglen,” things in the Vacker family have not gotten better. Alden had been talking to Fitz about matchmaking for a while, encouraging him to pursue Sophie as a romantic interest. Eventually they do get together. Della tries to be happy for him, but she still sees this and thinks, maybe give them time. If she could go back, she would have wanted to enjoy her life before committing to the Match forever. She’s almost relieved when Sophie and Fitz don’t work out. She thinks it’ll be better for Fitz in the end. She knows he’s been isolating himself from his family, from the world after the Scandal at Everglen, which is understandable. They all seem to think he’s crazy. He’s seventeen, and he almost killed his own brother, right there. But Della was watching, too, and she saw that it was Gethen doing the manipulating. Using the right words, would they make Fitz turn out like Alvar? The thought still chills her to this day. 

I don’t really have a good way to wrap it up other than I don’t think anything good will be happening to the Vackers anytime soon (except Biana, she seems to be doing relatively good compared to the rest). But yeah those are my Della thoughts :) 

Lastly, art tags:

@cutebisexualmess @void-kill @lemon-girl-in-devil-town @keefe--sencen @tastetherainbow290 

@myfairkatiecat @awful-amateur @aspenaspenaspenaspenaspen @necromycologist @cosmxc-ars3hol3

[everythingwasalreadypicked]

War Prize Al AU Masterpost

This is a Fantasy/Royalty PJO AU with Percy/Annabeth/Alabaster (aka Percalabeth aka Smartwatermagic aka Percabethaster xd) set place on a fictional land

Since the war prize au has gotten way bigger than I imagined here it is!

World building

Random Trivia Part 1 + Part 2

Random Trivia Part 3

Random Trivia Part 4: Poseidon Fam Edition

How the war started

How the war went

Map of Sthenias-Atlantis-Epirus by @catihere

Religious background of the main three kingdoms + some others (coming soon)

Al is trans

How Ethan became Alabaster's lieutenant

Malcolm & Annabeth

Former Timeline

Al's freckles post by @bvckbiter

Potential endings of the au

Smartwatermagic's parents' lore

Poseidon & Al

Fake twitter memes

Fanfics

The fics are listed here in chronological order, while the dates are given in modern calendar, the au's characters most likely do not use that, so that is more for the convenience of the readers. This is neither how they're listed on ao3 nor the writing order. Please read the tags for the fic(lets) carefully.

decomposition (Set place in 1XX0, End of June-Early July)

[It was going to be a long ride to King Poseidon's court, too bad they hadn't let him take along his bags. He was going to be immensely bored without the books he had packed.]

Prince Alabaster has some misconceptions about what having had lost the war entails.

Or

Al's trip to Atlantis fic :3

sieged (Set place in 1XX0, Mid July)

"I'm going to kill her..." With just as fast as she came, Palas turned on her heels and left, leaving Lou blinking blearily behind her.

The first thing that crossed Lou's mind was: I need to shake the hand of whoever shook Palas this much.

The second thing that crossed Lou's mind was: I hope they continue to do so and give me an excuse to get rid of her.

Lou wants two simple things, really: Her family back and some control over her own life.

With a surprise visit, the latter may just get even harder to achieve.

but they've overcome their shyness (now they're calling me your highness) (Set place in 1XX0, Start to Mid December)

The way King Poseidon reddened in anger at the letter he got in reply the first time had been glorious, if Alabaster had to be frank.

If only it hadn't been overshadowed by Perseus still writhing with agony in his sickbed and Alabaster's life being on the line.

Defeated in war and sent to a foreign kingdom against his will, Alabaster has to navigate a foreign court with the unwanted company of Prince Perseus and Princess Annabeth. One problem: Someone tried to kill Percy and Alabaster is the main culprit.

instead you hoarded all that's left of me (Set place in 1XX1, January)

Alabaster hopes the frigid air does flay his skin off. Better him due to the freezing wind than Ethan and Poseidon’s head guard.

Drowning in guilt, Alabaster finds a perfect way to take it out on himself. Percy and Annabeth are left to pick up the pieces.

Tales of Epirus

They had been holding out their own pretty well in the war, or so Lou had thought. Until Alabaster's letters home started only being addressed to their mother, until they got less and less frequent and their mother started preparing for surrender.

The worst part? It wasn't enough the occupiers stripped the palace of anything valuable. They demanded Lou's brother, too.

Lou Ellen was never supposed to be the queen, much less a puppet one. Alabaster was supposed to rule, not be torn apart from his crown and family.

OR

Ficlets about this au. Centered on Hecate siblings for now.

Random scene musings

What it says on the tin. Snippets that were too short to put in "Tales of Epirus"

Lou and Alabaster fight

What it says on the tin, very short.

if only dust is what we come to (Set place in 1XX1, First Week of July)

Fanarts

The first anniversary of the war's end came faster than any of them could imagine; amidst all the ensuing succession crisis, the fanfare associated with court, the constant need to check over his shoulder at every step and learning the ropes of politics from the two people that might have actually been tricking him towards ruin.

Prince Percy has more or less adjusted to being crowned heir. Though he never thought he'd have to reconcile his loving father and Atlantis's hated King being the same person. Especially now, with the people discontent and an assassination plan brewing against the said father.

Princess Annabeth is resigned to being a chess piece on the board of politics, and relished when she's the chessmaster. But what can she do when her mother has eyes on the lands of her husband?

Alabaster, after one whole year of captivity, is back at home. One problem; he's not sure he wants his sister to see him like this. Queen Lou Ellen is not sure she wants to see him either.

Nico and Alabaster fanart + Alabaster in a fancy outfit

Smartwatermagic in Regency Era inspired clothing

Percabeth Wedding

Hecate Siblings Epirus Era Concept Art

Spin offs (by @bvckbiter )

Meme about writing Smartwatermagic

Alabaster doodle

your sweetest compromise (Set place in 1XX0, Start to Mid July)

“You will serve as an example of what fate awaits Atlantis’ enemies,” King Poseidon explains as Alabaster is dragged out of his cell, only to be shoved down to his knees before him. “While I understand that even former princes have their pride, it is my son’s wedding. This would be easier on both of us if you behaved civilly. Surely losing your crown does not mean you’ve lost your etiquette?”

Alabaster bares his teeth in an approximation of a smile. “Don’t talk to me about etiquette when you and your heir presumptive learned yours on the seas, amongst drinkers and whoremongers.”

Poseidon’s face grows dark with fury.

Stripped of his crown and made a political hostage, Alabaster's survival now entirely depends on the goodwill of Prince Perseus and Annabeth. Thing is, he's not quite sure if living is worth it. // or: how i imagine these three fuckers come to the arrangement they have in river's AU

Smartwatermagic -questionable- fluff

What it says on the tin

From the Annals of Epirus: The Warring Years, pp. 249-253 (Set place in 1XY0-1XY2)

Hypothetical bad end of the au. Part 1 of (?)

Good Boy

Somehow even more questionable smartwatermagic fluff <33

Alabaster fanart in fancy clothes

Smartwatermagic fanart

Chancellor Alabaster

For even more of this au; see #war prize al tag

Prince Perseus Concept Art

Fanart by @bugcitie

[yangbbokari]

In my past, I find you and in the future, I still have you

Pairing: Bang Chan x F!reader Genre/AU/Tropes: Angst, lovers to exes and back to lovers, idol!AU Warnings: Breakup, a few(lots) tears, cursing, (it might hit close to home so read at your own risk), sick reader, memory loss WC: 2.5k Summary: Leaving Bang Chan was hard for you. But how hard would it be on Chan? (Not really a summary but yk ✨SUSPENSE✨) A.N: Okay so it won't stop bugging me and I'm eatin' this up. Also, this is very cliche, ik. so🤫🤫 Song Rec: Atlantis - Seafret, I Love You So - The Walters, If the world was ending - JP Saxe ft. Julia Michaels

It's not that you didn't love him. It was that you couldn't. He already had so much work piled on him. Late nights at the studio and being overworked by his company was already taking a toll on not only his physical, but mental health too. Now in these circumstances, he didn't need you to add on to that.

You were diagnosed with a brain tumor last week. The doctors had said that you would slowly lose your memory over time and the operation was risky.

“It’s best to tell your loved ones so they will know when the time comes.”

But how could you do that to Chan. You wouldn’t want him to worry about you and forfeit his career. Yes, he would be an emotional wreck if you left him, but it’d be worse if you left his world completely.

What hurt your heart the most though, was that the universe seemed to be playing tricks on you.

“You’ll most likely lose about five years of your memory.”

Five years. Five years ago when you and Chan met. Isn’t that funny. It was making you forget him. Why though? Why did you have to forget the only person who made you truly happy?

So you had no choice. No choice but to let him go. Let him be happy with someone new. Someone who isn't you. As much as you wished that none of this fell on you, there wasn't really another option.

You let there be a slow let down. Drips of it at a time instead of a waterfall. A small flame instead of a blazing fire. I light breeze instead of raging winds. A tiny whisper instead of a loud voice.

So you packed your bags and waited for him. When he got home, late at night, or you could say an early time in the morning, you sat him down. He was clearly worried. It wasn't normal for you to be up this late let alone sitting him down like he'd done something wrong. Before you could even get a word out he grabbed your hands and starting speaking.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for whatever I've done that makes you wish to leave me. Please don't end this. I'll fix whatever is wrong. You're... you're everything I could ask for so don't say anything about us seperating."

Why could he read you so well? How were you suppose to leave him when he looked at you like this? Why did he make it so hard for you to leave him? But you had to tell him one way or another. You took a shuddering breath before spilling it on him.

"I just don't think..." It was suffocating you. You didn't want to continue but you had to. Tears were already rushing to your eyes, ruining your plan. But you couldn't let him see them. "...I don't think I can continue o-our relationship."

"Why?" He said almost immediately.

You wanted to tell him the truth. Or at least give him a soft reason. But you knew you had to hurt him so that he would want to forget you.

"Because I'm tired. You come home at late times. You're probably out with some other girl while I sit at home, waiting for you. Besides, I'm tired of keeping this useless relationship a secret. How long have we been together, Christopher?"

"Don't call me that."

You knew him hearing his government name coming from your mouth would hurt him a little too deep.

"Four years... four years and not even the members know, Christopher."

"Don't call me that!" Tears brimmed his eyes as you spoke.

"I want someone who can be with me and have time for me. Someone who can show me off as if I'm his entire world."

"You are my entire world."

"I don't want to be anybody's SECRET anymore!"

The tears were threatening to push all boundaries and just fall. But you had to keep your resolve.

His grip on your hands tightened. "FIne. I'll take some time off a-and we can do whatever you want. A-and w-we'll go public. I-I-I don't want t-to hide you either so let's-"

"No. I'm done, Christopher. I'm done with all of this and I'm leaving."

Chan gradually moved from the couch and onto his knees, in front of you as he shook his head.

"Please don't call me that. Channie, babe, baby, anything but Christopher. And please... please don't leave me. I'll do anything just don't go. You're the best thing that could possibly happen in my life so d-don't go. You're my happiness. I-I don't know what to do without you. You're my life and soul. You're my everything. So don't walk away..."

You could feel his tears fall onto your lap and hands as he hung his head low. You wanted to sob your heart out. Tell him that this is only for a little while and you'll come back. But you couldn't. So you pushed him away. Walking to your shared bedroom and coming out with suitcases. Chan's eyes widened a he ran to your side.

"Where are you going? Are you seriously going to just leave everything behind? Please don't, please...? Tell me what to do and I'll do it."

"Let me go."

"Anything but that."

His hand rested over yours, stopping you. His eyes pleading you to stay. His breath shaky and unstable. His trembling body from the disbelief. His bothered mind, not wanting to believe this.

“I already said I’m tired and I’m leaving.”

“Take me with you.”

“I’m leaving you.”

You sent the words like sharp, cold icicles straight into his heart. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His whole world was falling apart.

No.

His whole world was walking away. Away from him. Away from everything they’ve ever created. Away from their love. His arms went limp and you did as you said. You left him. You walked away. ~~~ It’s been a year now. The operation was successful and you made it out safely. But not your memories. As life went on, you felt a little uncomfortable. Like something was missing. Someone was missing. You couldn’t pinpoint it though. So you found a new way to cope, K-pop.

It started recently. A month or two ago maybe. Not that you really could remember. Your friends introduced you to BTS and it just fascinated you. Recently, you started standing a new group, Stray Kids. You didn’t exactly have a bias yet. But, you were really drawn to one member in particular, Bang Chan. He brought you much warmth and for some reason, you kind of felt familiar with him. Like you’ve known him since forever even though you only discovered Stray Kids last week.

Your friend, Yuna, happened to have an extra Stray Kids concert ticket. How could you say no? It wasn’t until another two weeks. But, hello? You had to find the finest outfit out of what you already had. As you rummaged through your closet, a box fell from the top, and you dodged it quickly. The box broke open revealing photos, a diary, a necklace, a phone, and a couple of CDs.

The items weren’t something you recognized. Probably Yuna’s, you thought. But curiosity got the best of you. Yuna wouldn’t mind… right? So you gathered the items together before actually looking at them. Shocked, was an understatement.

There was photos of you and no other than, Bang Chan, together. Cuddling, kissing, canoodling, everything you could possibly find in the books. There’s no way. The person you’ve been admiring for a couple of weeks was… was… was someone you were infatuated with.

You put the rest of the items back into the box and rushed to living room. Placing the box on the table, you took out a few CDs and placed one in the CD player. It was without a doubt, Chan’s voice coming through the speakers. His soft voice singing a love song. You then took out the diary. It contained little moments that you recorded. Your eyes skimmed through the diary until the last page. Tears rushed to your eyes.

“Hi, me. Hi, Y/n. It’s me or you or us. I don’t really know. But I’m writing this because I want you to know about someone. Someone who helped you through everything. Christopher Bahng. Bang Chan. The man who you love most and who loves you most. Don’t forget him. Run to his side as soon as you read this. He’ll be waiting. I promise. If you forget about him, remember the most you possibly can. He’s the only one who will protect you and stay by you. You met at the cafe shop right outside of JYP. Your first date took place at the same place. You had your first kiss during a movie night at his place. His birthday is October 3rd, 1997. He’s your soulmate.”

You grabbed the phone and opened it. Thank god it was unlocked. Thank the past you who was smart enough not to put a password on it. Opening your camera roll, there was gazillion pictures of you and him. Your phone book had only his number in it. Everything on that phone had to do with him. Even the small little widgets.

Memories flooded your mind. It was all of him. Everything about him. You took a deep and shaky breath. Looking at his contact on this phone, you contemplated on pressing it. You ended up pressing it anyway. Now the problem was, how to call him. It was too nerve-wracking. Though it was only about 10 seconds, it felt like hours until you pressed, call. The other end connected almost immediately.

"Y/n... Hello?"

Your breath hitched. It really was him. The voice, the person, the missing peice. You finally found it.

"Y/n, are you there? P-please let it be you. I ran from practice once I knew it was you. Hello? Please say som-"

And you hung up. Everything was finally clicking. Now you knew why you felt like you've known him since forever. Why you felt you had a missing piece. He was there all along and you were just too stupid to realize it.

You finally let your long held breath out. Your heart beating at a rapid pace. Everything felt so surreal. As much as you wished to deny it, you knew it was all true. ~~~ When the time of the concert came, you were ready. Emotionally, probably not. But physically, definitely. You placed the necklace around your neck. The one you had found in the box. It was a galaxie pendant with your's and Chan's intitials written on the back. You dressed exactly how he liked. Well not exactly, but close. He usually prefered you in what you were most comfortable in. But you knew he absolutely loved when you were fully in black. Preferably, a skin tight dress. So that's what you wore. You did a small touch of makeup with a coral shade of lipstick. It was his favortite shade on you. Even though he really liked your natural beauty.

You mustered up all the courage left in you and you went to the concert. Were you scared? The answer was yes. You weren't sure what to expect but that didn't mean it didn't made you scared.

Yuna managed to get her hands on V.I.P tickets which meant you could even go backstage. Your head was jumbled of all the things you were gonna tell him. It made you feel kind of guilty for leaving him like he was nothing just to run back to him. But you still loved him and you weren't gonna let anything get in the way this time.

Eventually, you made it. But you were now standing in the front, extremely nervous. What would he think when he saw you again? Would he be mad at you?

No one but you two knew of your previous relationship. So not even Yuna would have known that she was taking you to the one person you loved.

As soon as they entered the stage, you froze in place. Your eyes couldn't leave his figure. They followed every single one of his movements. What you didn't expect though, even though you should've, was when his eyes found you.

It was after the first song ended and they just started talking to the fans. As he scanned the gigantic crowd, his eyes softened. But when his eyes moved to the row in front of him, his eyes widened. They widened with shock, surprise, disbelief. There you were, standing in the audience of a concert for him. It has always been a dream of his to see you at his concert.

You took off as soon as you saw his eyes widen. You most definitely were not ready for that. You should’ve mentally prepared yourself better. Your heart wouldn’t stop beating rapidly. ~~~ It wasn’t until after the concert that you finally came back. Yuna had to drag you backstage. She kept teasing you for being so shy. But if only she knew. In the end, you were face to face with each of the members. You didn’t do anything, staying still.

Bang Chan had a whole lot of self control, to not run to you and hug you. But Yuna just had to have such a big mouth and said, “ Y/n’s favorite member is Chan! She had her eyes on you the whole time. Was even too nervous to come back here and meet you.”

You face completely flushed with a deep color of pink, immediately looking at Chan. Nervously chuckling as you inputted, “Y-yeah… haha..” Now you both were clearly uncomfortable. The silence kept between the two of you was insufferable as the others teased you. ~~~ Somehow, you were now trapped in a room with Chan. The others left to give you some “privacy,” or so the called it. It felt like hours before one of you finally spoke.

“Hey, y/n…” He said.

“Hey…”

“How’ve you b—”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Everything.”

A few moments of silence fell between you again.

“I’m sorry for leaving you and saying things so horrible.” Now tears started clouding your vision as you talked. “I actually didn’t want that. It was all a mistake a-and I really really miss everything we had. I know I sound stupid. But I lied. I lied about everything and I should’ve told you the truth. I-I-I-I had a brain tumor.” Your tears were a full on waterfall now and they definitely weren’t stopping anytime soon. “And I was scared I would affect your career. I was scared that I would forget you, us and everything we had.”

Without a doubt, Chan was also crying. He quickly came to hug you and comfort you. He hushed you down.

“N-no it’s okay. I know it must’ve been hard. I should’ve kept pursuing you and staying by your side no matter what.”

“Don’t blame yourself. You had no choice but to believe me. I was the one who left.”

He just shook his head and held you as close as possible.

“But you’re here now, aren’t you?” He asked before you nodded your head. “See, you’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

Let’s just sayyyyyyy, y’all made up just fine and now you’re happy. Yuna and the other members were shocked for sure but it all went well. The two of you were now together and that’s how it would be, forever. ~~~ another a.n: sry for the ass ending y’all😭 but I didn’t know how to end it with a make up so that’s what I gave. It was also super rushed so sry for that too. Maknae line pt.2 should b out by tmrw so don’t worry. Love y’all though!!!😘😖💗

[spinningwebsandtales]

Vita Nova Epilogue

Orm Marius X FemReader

Rating: T

Warnings: Suggestive themes but pure fluff

Word Count: 850

Part 1: here

(A/N:) Vita Nova was supposed to be just one part but a little domestic fluff seemed to be on the menu as this idea wouldn't leave me alone. So just enjoy this little extra that goes along with the first part! Until next time happy reading! ~Countess

Time had passed after that fateful day on the beach and now you had an ex-king of Atlantis living with you. That encounter had turned your life upside down, in a way that you would have never dreamed. And now that you got to wake up every day by the man that had once only existed for you in books and daydreams, life was more hectic but filled with special moments. The kiss you both had shared on the beach only opened a world you never before experienced. Orm was a perfect gentleman and helped around the house. He had lots of things to learn and you found the patience to help him through all those moments of confusion.

Like the time you had to explain to him that restaurants didn't serve cockroaches as a side or entree. Or the fact that most people weren't interested in conversing about the mating cycles of fish. But he was perfect in his own way. Now as you both lounged on the couch watching a movie it didn't take long before you were beginning to nod off. Orm focused upon the screen, found himself stroking your back and running his fingers through your hair. You slipped further into the lull of sleep as he worked wonders to relax you. It wasn't until the credits started rolling did Orm notice that you had fallen asleep on his chest. Your head resting against his warm skin while your hands tangled in his hair.

He watched you for a few moments, shallow breaths passing between your parted plush lips, before he began to trace your features with a soft finger. You stirred just a little before settling back down. Pressing a kiss to your forehead, Orm contemplated trying to get up without waking you and carrying you to the bedroom. But he didn't want to chance disturbing you, so he eased the remote from the table beside the couch and turned the TV off before wrapping you up tightly in his arms and fell asleep with you moments later.

You didn't wake until the morning, when the sun peeking through the curtains haloed Orm in golden light, causing his light hair to glow and paint his features in beautiful light. You stared, breathless, as he slept. Orm knew that you loved him, but deep down it scared you that he didn't realize just how much of a hold he had on you. But if you asked Orm, he loves you just as much if not more. As a prince and king, everything was handed to him on a silver platter. If he wanted it, others would obtain it for him, he never had a chance to find something he wanted. So that day on the beach had been the first time he really fought for something he truly wanted. He thought he wanted to be king but when he saw the potential in his older brother, after the hate had drained away, any wants of the crown and throne melted away.

Lost in thought you didn't shake yourself from them until Orm grumbled in his sleep. Sheepishly you realized the position you were in, still pressed against him, one leg resting between his legs, while you held tightly to his waist. He didn't seem to mind as he gave you a sleepy grin.

"Sleep well," he asked stretching a little but trying not to buck you off.

"Like the dead," you teased causing him to raise an eyebrow. "It's an expression. How about you?"

"Also like a carcass," Orm replied and you laughed. He seemed confused at first, until he too began to laugh along.

"Not exactly the right expression but good enough." You untangled yourself from him. "How about some breakfast?"

"Only if I can help you cook."

"The last time I let you help me cook, you almost burned our kitchen down," you retorted, hands on your hips.

"I'll be more careful this time," Orm promised while kissing your cheek. He always knew the best way to make you melt and give in.

"Fine but you're only on egg cracking duty and anything else that doesn't involve fire," you relented.

"Deal." Orm watched you walk away, his heart swelling in joy as he finally felt like he had found the place he belonged. Though no part of him was from this world, he could finally see what his brother and mother saw in the people on the surface. All it took was a moment to see one human woman on a single beach out of thousands. He couldn't help but think fate had a hand in this meeting. He breathed deep, glad to have such clarity before he followed you into the kitchen. You were already grabbing everything you both would need to cook. You smiled at him, stealing the air from his lungs. This life was one he would never tire of as he started to crack eggs into a bowl. His world didn't involve Atlantis, though it created him, his world was you. And he couldn't think of anything better than that.

[namorthesubmariner]

Hi Imp!

Sorry, I wasn’t sure which of your tumblr pages to ask you the following (let me know if there’s a specific one you’d like me to use in the future).

Could you pls share your opinion on F4’s Ben Grimm, if you have one? In general and his portrayal in the movies? Are you also looking forward to the upcoming F4 movie?

I came across a fantastic four Instagram page with a scan from a comic where Ben was almost asking Johnny if Reed might be able to come up with something to help him (trigger warning — !!!!) *check out* and I thought, “wow! I don’t know much about Ben” then, I remembered how well versed you were in a number of Marvel related subjects (and the care you took re: understanding the mental health of your faves), and wanted to please come to you!

(I also remembered how much you respected my forever lady, Ororo🌟🙌🏾🌟 but that’s an aside lol)

Hello! Thanks for the question, and I usually answer questions on my main @imperiuswrecked but that is currently off due to me having a backlog of questions to answer and I'm very busy with getting things done for fandom weeks/blogs that need to be updated. I will open again in the future. I kept this blog open just for Namor questions, but I wanted to reply to yours:

(Love Ororo, my queen!!!)

TW: Self harm, suicidal thoughts/words

To answer your question, the reason why Ben asks to find a way to commit suicide is because Ben does suffer from depression in the comics, a lot of it has to do with his powers/how he was transformed, basically he got the worst of the lot, and he has a lot of negative self image issues, he feels dehumanized a lot, and at some point doesn't see the point in going on. One of Ben's major recurring character themes is how dehumanized he feels, how Reed's guilt over what happened to Ben will never let Reed rest until he finds a cure for his best friend, of Ben's resentment to Reed, but also the fact that he loves Reed as a friend and so its very complex in that he hates and loves. That's for like the main comics, but I do think the you're asking about the Ultimate comic since you mentioned his conversation with Johnny? Ben had gotten to the point where he felt like Reed wasn't trying anymore and he feels like he has no way out. The Ultimates line isn't the 616, it was supposed to be a "more grounded" comic so they emphasized on self harm thoughts in this comic.

I am speaking in reference to the comic: Ultimate Fantastic Four (2004) #27

My opinion on the 616 Ben Grimm is that I love him, he's a great character, very fun to read and very heartbreaking when it gets heavy. I feel like Ben is the heart of the team, and he has to deal with his self image issues a lot, and a lot of his mental health issues are about his body dysmorphia/how he feels he looks ugly and thinks he is unlovable. His arcs usually run on a cycle where he comes to a point where he accepts who he is just enough to be able to go out and save the day or live his life, but then eventually falls back into a depression, it really depends on which writer has him, some just want him to have a good time, but others bring back his issues/the angst etc. Sometimes Ben does get his human form back but it never lasts.

Ben's past movie portrayals were ok, I guess? I'm not quite the expert in all F4 stuff, but like typical movie stuff you'd except from the eras they were made in with very little to no effort to be inclusive of Ben's Jewish background, but I'm glad he finally has a Jewish actor to play him in the upcoming movie since the character is Jewish and only one movie made a reference to that Fant4stic I think with a background prop, but the actor of that movie wasn't Jewish iirc. Hopefully the new upcoming movie does well by his characterization.

I really love Namor and Ben in the comics and I sorta wish we could get something like their characterization in the Fantastic Four novel: To Free Atlantis in which they connect over how they are viewed by others. Ben is shocked to learn that Namor is hated for his physical appearance because he's a handsome prince, not knowing that under the sea, Namor is despised for being half human, so he thought Namor would have it easier than a Thing like him, and Namor points out how lucky Ben is to be surrounded by love.

Ben and Namor don't really have heart to hearts in the comics, they are mostly fighting, but sometimes we get cute gems like Ben and Namor at T'Challa's bachelor party

[klbwriting]

Surface Tension

Chapter 4: Like Real People Do

Fandom: Aquaman

Pairing: Ormxfemale!Reader

Warnings: none this chapter, next one will have some, this is more fluff

Summary: Y/N introduces Orm to her friends and they take a next step

Notes: more good stuff! comments/critiques are appreciated! Song is 'Like Real People Do' by Hozier

Taglist: @gabrieleskywalker @philiasoul

"You are so into this guy!" Aria laughed as she sat at her kitchen table with Y/N the day after Halloween. "What is his name again?" She was multitasking, feeding her infant. Y/N hadn't said his name, knowing that if she did Aria would know who it was. Orm wasn't exactly a common surface dweller name and Aria still had contacts in Atlantis, she had just been telling Y/N that the previous king Orm had escaped his prison cell and was presumed dead in some attempt to retrieve the Black Trident from the Lost Kingdom. Although, according to Aria, that sounded ridiculous, Orm was in hiding somewhere. And Y/N had paled a little, thinking about how he was in hiding, right next door to her.

"His name is Oren," she said, thinking as fast as she could. It could work, not like Aria was going to meet him any time soon if Y/N could help it. "He's from somewhere in Europe."

"Tell me more about him, I've heard he's hot, and that's he's funny, what else does he have going for him?" she pressed and Y/N regretted bringing him up. She hadn't meant to tell Aria, but she was her best friend and just like most best friends, she knew when Y/N was infatuated with someone and Y/N was bad at keeping secrets from her.

"Well, funny thing, you know who he reminds me of?" she said, figuring if she told her he reminded her of Orm maybe if they did stumble across each other it would set up the idea in her mind that he was some kind of surface dwelling doppelganger. Aria nodded for her to keep going as she spooned more baby food into her daughter's mouth. "King Orm actually, he's got the same exact kind of royal way about him. He also is blonde, sometimes things he's the greatest thing to happen in the world, and he's charming as hell." She had rambled a little more than she meant to and didn't realize Aria was now staring at her.

"If he's anything like that prick Orm you should leave him be, that asshole was a genocidal maniac who didn't care about anyone but himself and that stupid crown," Aria said, voice dripping with venom. Y/N bit her lip.

"I said he's like Orm, but he's also so kind and I can't imagine him being a genocidal maniac or not caring about others. He's been nothing but sweet to me and anyone I've seen him with. You should have seen him with his nephew yesterday, that man is nothing like Orm was," she said. Aria narrowed her eyes, assessing her friend for a minute before finally nodding and offering a small smile.

"Well, I hope he comes to your birthday party tomorrow, Dean would love to meet him," she said, looking a little guilty now. YN's eyes widened. Her party, at her house, that Orm would definitely notice, and be really hurt if she didn't tell him he could come. Aria was supposed to be there, but she had said only Dean, her husband, would meet him.

"Why is only Dean coming?" she asked. Aria sighed.

"The hospital had another flu breakout among the nursing staff, I've been called in for 3 12's," she said. "I'm sorry, I promise we got you an amazing present! And once I'm done with these horrendous shifts I will take you out for a proper fun time." Y/N nodded, putting on an upset face, but inside she was doing a cartwheel. If Aria wasn't there and Dean talked to Orm, then he could report back to Aria instead of her seeing him for herself. Dean had no idea who Orm was, he was a surface dweller who barely understood anything about Atlantis and honestly, didn't care to know once he heard how horrible they were to the lower city. She knew sooner or later Aria would meet Orm but she could warn her first, actually talk to her about him and tell the truth before then.

The day of her party, after getting the supplies and starting to make some of the food she had planned she walked to Orm's door, knocking on the wall as she went. She frowned when didn't answer so she went to the back porch and towards the water. He was swimming again, just a few hundred feet out and back. She took a deep breath, walking slowly down to the beach. She could stay on the shore, it was too cold for a human to be swimming, he would make the excuse he always did, he was used to these temperatures, family of swimmers, blah blah blah, a human would have been still suspicious, but she would pretend what he said made sense. She got to where the rocks started and stopped.

"Orm!" she yelled, hoping he heard her over the wind. He didn't seem to so she took a couple steps forward, heart starting to pound as she pictured a drop of water getting onto her shoes and somehow sending word to her mother that she was near the water, ready for capture. She knew how crazy that was but the fear in her mind didn't care. "ORM!" she yelled, this time louder, and with a little more panic in her voice. She took a deep breath, trying to calm down. She saw him freeze, looking at her. She wasn't sure what he saw but he swam, faster than any person would be able to, back to the shore, running over to her.

"Y/N, are you alright?" he asked. Orm had heard her voice, hearing thinly veiled terror in her tone. Then he saw the look on her face from the water, she looked pale, like she was going to pass out. He knew he had swam too fast, but he was worried about her, had to get to her as fast as he could.

"I'm alright, just scared of the water," she said, but he felt that was a lie. Why did she lie about the ocean? He couldn't understand it, but he would accept it. "Are you finished? I wanted to ask you something?" He nodded and she forced a smile. He took her arm gently and started to lead her back towards the house, seeing the worry melt away the further they moved from the sea.

"What's going on?" he asked once they were safely back on their porch.

"Well, um, I'm having a party tonight, its my birthday party and I wanted you to come. Its nothing big, just a few friends. We'll mostly eat, play some board games, nothing crazy," she said. Orm stared. The last birthday party he had been to was his 18th and that had ended terribly, he hoped all birthday parties weren't so bad. He swallowed the memories of that night down and nodded.

"Ya, I'll come, what time?" he asked. He had to know how much time he had to find her a present, if he knew one thing about birthdays here it was that gifts were required.

"At 8, and no gifts required, we're all saving for our own lives, so no one ever brings any," she said. He frowned, not liking that. She deserved a gift for just existing and making his world infinitely better over the last 4 months. He nodded anyway and smiled.

"I will see you at 8 then, now I'm going to shower, its freezing out here," he said, realizing he should have been shivering. Y/N just nodded, a knowing look in her eye that he could never place and headed inside.

Orm did in fact shower, go out to a small boutique in the town, and get ready all within the time frame and was knocking on her wall at 8 before heading to her door. It was thrown open by a strange man before Y/N pushed him out of the way to greet Orm. She came onto the porch, closing the door behind her, but he Orm noticed several faces peering out the front window.

"Alright, this is a little out of control, but um, I have never invited anyone outside of this little friend group to a party before," she said. Orm didn't hear her at first, staring instead at how beautiful she looked. She had dressed up in a green dress with blue pearl accents around the neckline, her hair was down and longer than he realized, and her face was made up in soft golds to bring out her eyes but not hide her freckles. She looked more amazing than any woman on land or in the sea. He shook himself and blushed a little. "They think we're dating but you know, I've been trying to tell them we're friends, but they, they don't believe me." She was blushing also, glancing from him to her friends and trying to wave them away from the window.

"It's...its fine, hopefully they like me," he said. They were friends, but were they? He knew he didn't feel like she was just his friend, he was starting to feel like she was more than that, more than everything to him. She nodded and then noticed the small bag in his hand. She took it gently as they walked inside.

"I said no gifts to him, I promise," she said, setting the bag down on a side table, out of the way and safe from the festivities. Her friends just smiled, all looking like they were anticipating something. Orm now understood the scrutiny he normally placed on others. They were watching his every move, trying to read how he felt about Y/N.

"Hi, I'm, I'm Orm," he said, unsure what else to do, he looked to his neighbor and she seemed to be coming out of a trance.

"Ya, um Orm, this is Vincent, his husband James, Amanda, her husband Nick, Colleen, her fiance Erin, and this is Dean, he is my friend Aria's husband. She's a nurse and couldn't be here tonight," she explained, going down the line. He noticed that her voice hitched a little when she spoke and Dean and Aria and Orm knew those were the ones he was trying to make a good impression on. The others all came over, introducing themselves and talking at once at him. He felt relief wash over him when Y/N suggested they play a board game, something called Horrified, and they seemed to lose interest in Orm.

The party was great, food amazing, music soft but still fun and celebratory. Y/N kept asking people to dance with her but no one did and Orm can see it was bothering her. He would have if Dean hadn't cornered him a little, asking him questions about himself and then dropping a bomb on him.

"Aria thinks you and Y/N should be together," he said. Orm looked at him surprised. "O come on, you are all Y/N talks about anymore and you haven't taken your eyes off her all night, you two should just kiss and get it over with." In that instant Dean reminded Orm a great deal of Arthur and he thought he much he wanted to talk to his brother. He never thought he would be wishing for Arthur's perspective on something but now he craved it. Arthur had dealt with all this before, the feelings, the desires, Orm hadn't really dated anyone ever. Mera was supposed to marry him, so he may have found someone to warm his bed from time to time he never had actually felt like this for anyone. He wanted to hear Y/N tell him her secrets, he wanted to taste her skin and her lips, he wanted to hear her laugh, wanted to feel her body against his, he wanted everything with this person. He didn't know how to react to that.

"Ya, well maybe," was all he could offer Dean, but the other man just smirked some and nodded, before saying goodbye to Y/N and heading out for the night. It was getting late and her friends were all starting to leave. Orm hovered in the background, getting glasses and dishes to clean up and find some time to be alone with Y/N. She got the last guest out of the door and turned to face him.

"Hi," she said softly, noticing he was still there. He set down to dishes he was carrying to walked over to the side table, getting the present.

"Would you like to open it?" he asked. She blushed and took the bag. She opened it slowly, inside was a necklace with a silver chain and a single pearl. She stared for a moment, mouth open a little.

"Orm, this beautiful, its too much, but thank you," she said. He smiled and offered his hands. She handed him the box and he took out the necklace as she moved her hair. He gently put it on her, fingers thrilling at the touch of her skin. He was tempted right then to kiss her before stopped himself. He wanted to know that she wanted to kiss him back, wanted to see it in her eyes first. He heard a song playing, soft and perfect for a dance.

"You said you wanted to dance, well, shall we?" he asked. He had never danced before on the surface but he had seen a couple movies, he knew the idea and he wanted to see her smile. She nodded, taking his hand and pulling him to the center of her living room. She put one of his hands her her waist, hers on his shoulder and she held the other. They started the song a foot from each other but as it progressed they moved closer until they were nearly nose to nose, whispering to each other about the party, about anything really.

She could hear the songs words and now was glancing from Orm's blue eyes to his lips. She noticed him doing the same and despite knowing that this would open her up more, would make her vulnerable, more than she had let herself be with anyone since she ran away from Atlantis, she nodded at him. He didn't need any other signs, leaning in and taking her lips with his. They had stopped dancing, now just in an embrace. Her hands went into his hair, his to her hips, pulling her even closer to him as his tongue pressed against her lips. She welcomed it, meeting him as they deepened the kiss. When they parted she took a deep breath.

I will not ask you where you came from

I will not ask and neither should you

Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips

We should just kiss like real do

"Would you like to stay the night?" she asked. He nodded and she led him upstairs.

[succubusfuccubus]

Feel like I’m the only vampire chronicles fan who loves the new iwtv series

“Book Louis was white!!!”

He was a slave owner and while Anne Rice contextualizes it real well—she doesn’t try to soften the subject matter, she doesn’t try the “he was nice to his slaves” book Louis is like “yeah I was a slave owner, it was fucked up” —still I feel no attachment to white Louis. It was not the most interesting thing about him.

Anne Rice was weird about any POC in her books. It’s still a white centric narrative, the main cast of vampires is white. Boring. Black Louis is much more interesting. A Black vampire navigating his immortality among a society hostile to his kin is so much more captivating.

Many of the main vampires in her series get a book dedicated to them where they explain their origins, their experience with immortality and their philosophies. Except...the vampires that get their own narrative are white. I would love to see an Ancient Black vampire that was kicking before any racism as it is now was invented. I wanna know their perspective, I wanna see them philosophize.

“Vampires can’t have sex!!”

Later in the books they invent vampire viagra—also cry harder im glad they’re fucking and sucking

“Book Claudia was supposed to be turned at 5 Years old. Book Claudia would kill to be a teenager even!! This Claudia almost looks like an adult!”

Teenagers definitely aren’t adults. Imagine being on the Cusp of adulthood and then you are paused mid puberty unable to develop any further. That would be maddening She looks like a young girl trying very hard to dress older than she is. Also it would be rough getting an actual 5 year old to act her part. Also there's some weird pedophile shit in the books, I'm glad we're writing that part out.

“Anne rice would be rolling in her grave”

Let her roll. Anne rice hated any adaptation—she was a control freak. Look up “interrogating the text from the wrong perspective” it’s her melt down in response to bad Amazon reviews on her vampire chronicles’ “Blood Canticle”

She didn’t even respect her own canon. She retcons it multiple times. In the end she retcons the origin of vampires (which had been established in books 2 and 3) and made it the product of an alien parasite. All bcuz some took a sudden interest in science fiction, she just had to turn it into science fiction

This series is not a masterpiece, it becomes pulp fiction by book 4, almost every book opens up like a personal vlog, Lestat is her Mary sue and also self insert. There is gay ghost sex that turns out to be incest. Actually there is so much incest, ntm the pedophilia it becomes almost unreadable.

God and the Devil are ex bfs that are in a millennia long theological and philosophical debate, also the Devil tries to recruit Lestat as the prince of hell and he drinks Jesus's blood. But several books later, just kidding, that wasn't the Devil that was just a spirit fucking around with Lestat.

The second to last book is called Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis--there are bird-reptile aliens pissed off about the asteroid that destroyed the dinosaurs and want to eradicate mammals bcuz in every other universe reptiles are the dominant-sentient species.

There is nothing sacred about the original, this is not Beowolf or the Epic of Gilgamesh--this is Anne rice and her self-insert blorbo getting into scrapes. When adapting a piece of fiction the most important thing is preserving the Themes--which the show is doing superbly. What truly matters is that every character in Anne Rice's show is bisexual and polyamorous and a disaster.

If you're that upset about Louis being Black and Armand being Muslim you're just racist and either in denial or you know full well.

[dr-futbol-blog]

Letters from Pegasus, Pt. 4

So, from McKay not having anyone on Earth to send a message to the scene cuts directly to Sheppard and Teyla discussing the topic of family in the jumper as they wait for the alien armada to arrive.

Sheppard is still uncharacteristically cranky, and Teyla is probably for the first time doubting his leadership. This callous man sitting next to her is not the Sheppard that she thought she knew. She doesn't know about his family, she doesn't yet know about how he was punished for going against orders to try to rescue people--among them a dear friend. For these and perhaps other reasons he could not make a promise to the friend of Teyla's family, and it seems to be eating him up inside:

Sheppard: This wasn't supposed to be a rescue mission. Teyla: Orin was a good friend of my father. Sheppard: I agreed to warn him. Teyla: If someone close to your family--a dear friend--was in danger of being taken by the Wraith, would you have not done the same? Sheppard: Not if it jeopardised the mission. Teyla: So in fighting the Wraith, we are to give up that which makes us different from them? Sheppard: I agreed to stop and pick him up if there was time--but only if there was time. I could be saving everyone in the damned galaxy if we could. Teyla: One man and his children are not every person. Sheppard: I agreed to help if there was time. You can only fight the battles you can win.

While he left himself the loop-hole before they left Atlantis, Sheppard didn't actually have any intention of disobeying Weir's order not to engage. He had no intention of placing them in any danger during this mission. Changing mission parametres in the middle of a mission is not strategically sound, and as much as Sheppard feels for everyone in the galaxy that he has personally jeopardized, he really doesn't like what this is turning into. He sounds jaded, he sounds like he's trying to be the hard-ass leader that he thinks he is supposed to be, but this isn't how he really feels. Like he tells her later, he would do anything for any one of them. He feels too much, and it's making him numb.

Sheppard also has a reason to want to get back home in one piece and on time. Between two scenes of Teyla and Sheppard discussing the topic in the jumper there is a scene in which Ford records a message to his grand-parents. He ends the message with "But I want you both to know that you're right here, always--all the time."

He pats his heart to indicate that he carries the thought of them in his heart all the time. And from there, we cut to Sheppard telling Teyla that he simply cannot risk going back for Teyla's 'dear friend'. He is full-on prepared to let this man and his whole family die to get back to Atlantis. The scene with Ford is meant to give us insight into Sheppard's motivation here, to let us know what is going on with him on the inside.

They watch the armada arrive and are horrified by it. Sheppard seems anxious to get right back to Atlantis but alas, the wraith keep the gate occupied and this seems to keep them from returning:

Sheppard: So we're stuck here. Teyla: Once the ship is rendered invisible again, we will be perfectly safe. Sheppard: I'm worried about getting the intel about the Wraith fleet back to Atlantis. Teyla: They will keep dialling in through the night at the very least.

Sheppard is worried about getting back. They are having to spend the entire night away from Atlantis. And all through this, there is someone that he is carrying in his heart all the time.

The video clips recorded by Ford seem to be interspersed with scenes of Sheppard and Teyla on the planet which suggests that they are commenting on Sheppard in particular. Ford tells his grand-parents, "I'm hoping that I'll be able to get home some time soon but, y'know, if I'm stuck here a while, I want you to know that I'm good. I'm doing things, seeing things I never thought I'd see." Teyla and Sheppard just watched the alien armada jump out of hyperspace, a sight that they will never forget as long as they live. The only difference seems to be that Sheppard is not feeling good, physically unharmed though he is.

In the next recording session, we get this:

Beckett: What shall I say? Ford: Uh, uh, "I miss you"? "I wish you were here"? Beckett: I wish who was here? Ford: I don't know. Who do you wish was here? Beckett: Nobody! I wish I wasn't bloody here!

This very much seems to reflect Sheppard's feelings at that same exact moment on the alien planet. He wishes he was not stuck on the planet and while he might miss people back home, he certainly does not wish that they were there with him. It's much better to know that at least they are safe back home. They could not have made it more obvious that Sheppard has a desire to get back home. But Beckett says something even more interesting next:

Ford: Tell her you love her! Beckett: No, no, I can't do that. I'd go all emotional. Ford: So? Beckett: She's very delicate, my mother--as sweet a soul as you'll ever meet, as pure as the driven snow. If I get upset, then she'll get upset and I can't have that.

Now, it will take until Tao of Rodney (S03E14) for McKay to hear Sheppard say it--after a fashion (and I'll come back to why the "in a way a friend feels about another friend" is just completely unnecessary if they were just friends, see previous entry) but it is implied here that by this time, Sheppard is already thinking it. But he can't just come out and say it because then McKay might say it back to him, and there's just no walking back from that. But he is starting to think it to himself. He has accepted this state of affairs. He loves this man. He is in love with this man. All of that.

This is lampshaded by Ford commenting on the message Sgt. Bates sends to his little brother:

Bates: I'm probably never gonna see him again. Why make it worse than it has to be? Ford: That's not what this is about, man. Bates: That's exactly what this is about. Don't sweat it, Lieutenant. I'm happy I got the chance to say goodbye. Ford: Yeah, but you didn't say it. Bates: Not in so many words.

Not in so many words. Sometimes you got to read between the lines. Sometimes the words you use communicate a lot more than the surface level reading. It's the thought that counts, the intention, even if it's sometimes disguised in something mundane, like a reference to basketball. But this particular scene is also very much a reference forward to the season finale where Sheppard does not say goodbye to McKay, he never does and never will, but instead says "So long, Rodney". This is foreshadowing that moment, but we'll return to it later.

Now, I've previously discussed the concept of the A-plot, this being the overarching story of the season; in this case, the threat posed by the wraith. Episodic television usually constructs stories so that there is a reference to the A-plot in most episodes, unless they are straight-out filler, and then there is the B-plot and the C-plot in each episode. The B-plot or storyline is typically more character-driven, or emotion-driven, and the C-plot or story is often lighter and comedic. In this episode, Sheppard and Teyla's scenes represent the B-plot and the recorded messages represent the C-plot up until they are all woven together in the final scenes. Now, A-plot spans the entire season, B-plot reaches across several episodes and may be carried over from one episode to the other whereas the C-plot is usually confined to just the episode in which it plays out. But they are all constantly in conversation with each other.

Constructing an episode involves working out the beats for each of the three storylines and then weaving them together for satisfying narrative build and character development. And these storylines are made to cross over, or dramatically contrast or impact on one another, to give the audience the strongest possible dramatic or comic experience. That is, there's a reason we see a certain B-plot scene followed by a particular C-plot scene, as they are connected. They are commenting on one another, they are in conversation. We are not shown these recordings from the expedition willy-nilly, they are meant to tell us something about what is happening in the other story threads. They are meant to explain to us the hidden motivations at play during Sheppard and Teyla's scenes. So, it's not unimportant where we cut from one scene to another. The previous scene lays the foundation for the subsequent scene.

So, in this episode we cut from Sheppard being reluctant to help this family on the alien planet to McKay's reluctance to record a message to Earth. We cut from McKay not having anyone special waiting for him on Earth to Sheppard making sure that he can get back to Atlantis in one piece. We cut from Ford carrying his loved ones in his heart all the time, telling them that he's talking to them "from a place… far, far from home. I'm good, though. You don't have to worry" to Sheppard and Teyla becoming temporarily marooned on this alien world, unable to return home.

And yes, we cut from Beckett telling his mother that he misses her terribly to Sheppard becoming more and more agitated as he waits on the planet. These scenes are in clear communication. These scenes explain to us Sheppard's hidden motivation that is never made explicit because he has spent his entire life concealing his emotions and unless they constructed the story beats like this, we would never know what's actually going on with him. But now we do.

He misses Atlantis and the people therein. Carries them in his heart all the time. He is unable to verbalize his feelings even though he very much feels them. And his emotions are contrasted with Zelenka's retelling of Atlantis rising from the ocean in an undeniable, powerful and unquestionably phallic surge culminating in the sun shining through all the windows, a sight that he will remember to his death.

If John Sheppard is not so much in love that it has shaken him to his very core, has dislodged something in his very foundation like the mechanism that released Atlantis from the ocean floor, the show's narrative doesn't work, makes no goddamn sense. Otherwise we just have a series of unconnected scenes, and that's not how writing for episodic television works. Never mind what we are hinted may or may not been happening in background, this is the story, the actual story of the show. This is the journey of its main character.

And, like. You can tell me it's all about his feelings for Weir like we haven't consistently been shown in a hundred different ways that his entire mental, physical, and emotional focus is somewhere else entirely. His whole world is oriented toward someone whose absence is making him so cranky that he's willing to sacrifice actual human lives in his desire to get back to this person.

You can tell me but that's just a very different show from the one I was watching.

Continued in Pt. 5

[folcanta]

I've talked about folken et al a lot throughout my notes, about symbolism and influence in both the series and the film (and what carries between both) but maybe this breakdown will be more clear. I'll go episode by episode. I appreciate this story as a complete work, not disparate episodic parts. I'll be covering what is shown and told to us and making connections between them.

contains spoilers for the whole series.

I write all this out not to convince anyone that Folken Must Be Your Favourite Character. I don't care about that. I write this all out because I think if you're a fan of Escaflowne, knowing what the story itself is about might interest you...?

Correct me if I'm wrong: This story is about will and intention and conflict (grand, interpersonal, self-directed.) It's about not rising to provocation. It's about the trauma of war and how people act when they lack choice. It's about the contradiction between wanting peace but doing nothing to prevent violence. It's about the burden of the future placed on children. It's a story where, even within the most dire circumstances, realising personal agency is prized above attributing it to talismans. (If it wasn't, neither the pendant nor tarot nor Escaflowne would be discarded at the end.) It's a story where every character's action speaks to who they are versus who they feel they're supposed to be. It's about accepting love.

If all of that is true, then it must be both true and essential to the message/theme/plot of Escaflowne and to Folken's character that he spends the entire series trying to prevent Van from being killed despite this being incompatible with Dornkirk's plans. Is it not true that all the characters experience incompatibility with their true selves versus their desires? Folken is the character who realises and understands his mistakes first, and not only his, but the mistakes of everyone who's come before him, the wrongness of what has been put in place. Understanding those mistakes lets him appreciate the power Hitomi and Van share, and his understanding guides them into theirs.

Folken's life as we know it begins and ends with the goal of saving Van's. What he does in the middle is no different, only muddled. Regardless of how you feel about the consistency of his aim, his life is undeniably bookended by this fact.

Folken says in episode 7 and in the drama CD that he knows where Van is at all times. This is the psychic/love-based link that Van and Hitomi have later. He says it to Dilandau not because Dilandau is meant to understand it— he's meant to understand what Folken literally says, not what Folken means. What Folken means is for the viewer to understand— and not then, but later. It's deception, perhaps, but it's not hidden.

There's no filler in Escaflowne and foreshadowing is its primary technique from the very first moments of the very first episode. For a story that leaves so much unsaid, they say a lot with these A-B connections. Remember Van learning to visualise the pendant, and then him communing with Escaflowne, and then him getting wounded? That was pretty clear-cut in retrospect, right? Remember the explosion at the energist mine, and how the rocks which activate Freid's portion of the Atlantis machine form the shape of a mushroom cloud? Then a nuke goes off later? Yeah. Chain.mp3 playing during the fate alteration experiment in episode 19 is supposed to make you feel something about the nature of Allen and Hitomi's relationship, and give you a feeling about what could happen later. Every single element of a scene is working to make you feel something.

If Folken knows where Van is, he believes he can coordinate his movements in such a way to protect Van, even while causing/permitting other damage. Is that good? Uh... no? He's in conflict with himself. But he doesn't necessarily want to cause the extent of the damage he does. It's overwhelmingly ineffectual, but that's why after episodes where Dilandau disobeys and wreaks havoc (3, then 4, 7, 9, maybe more) Folken is there to babysit him.

(I only use "psychic" and "mind-reading" to describe the effect of what Folken does; it's not the terms the series uses.) If Folken could predict Dilandau's actions, he could better control them, but Dilandau is here to mess up Folken's plans. A man who can keenly observe and intuit people versus a boy whose only predictable action is chaos. (Trying the same things over and over and expecting different results, eh, Folken? Boy, who hasn't.)

In episode 10, not knowing his name, Hitomi is asked to do a reading on "the prisoner." As soon as Miguel Lavariel breaks out, therefor no longer "the prisoner," Hitomi draws a blank card! Hello! Folken cannot read Dilandau because Dilandau exists in name only, a false identity propped up by Zaibach as an experiment. The Dragonslayers exist to substantiate the idea that is "Dilandau." Folken tells Allen he doesn't know anything about Dilandau. Weird for a guy who seemingly knows everything!

Folken's actions are wrong and his intentions are good. That is verifiably his core trait and is crucial to the story. I know that because we get to see it with everyone. We get to see it with everyone because we are being asked to understand them. It makes it harder to outright vilify them. We're given an opportunity to forgive them, even when it's difficult. You can decide who you're willing to forgive, but regardless, the story presents the chance for every character.

This is additionally proven by Folken and Allen being some of the series' literary foils. The song "Memory of Fanelia" plays a lot for Allen, even though he has no connection to Fanelia— but Folken knows the song. Allen is embroiled in relationships, Folken abstains from them, and the people around them are hurt regardless. They're each the eldest sibling separated from their younger sibling, bound by that sense of duty and then the sense of duty they take on/are forced to take on (knight, strategist) and colour-coded blue to their complementary red-coded younger sibling. This in turn says something about Dilandau and Van, making them foils. (Everybody has multiple.) Dilandau is the face of the enemy, practically a mascot for Zaibach. He's a portrait of who Van could become— and when Dilandau is afraid of Van, it's because in that moment Van has become him.

Folken and Allen both overlook flaws in their methods, or avoid something which nonetheless dictates their behaviour— trying to protect people and failing to do so for reasons they don't understand, but keep repeating. Folken, however, understands himself and his reasons much much better and earlier than Allen— which is to say, Folken understands himself at all, lol

Here we go!

EPISODE 3: We are introduced to Folken by his first words, to Dilandau. "There was no reason to raze Fanelia to the ground. I'd like the stealth cloaks to be used more effectively."

Dilandau counters by calling Folken an amateur, because he's never seen Folken participate in battle himself. Folken is calm in response; Folken's tact with Dilandau is to humour him. We see Folken is aloof and soft-spoken. Folken's relative stoicism is why when he isn't calm, it comes through strongly and needs only a few extra details to convey it. He uses lots of microexpressions and tonal shifts which, granted, can be missed... if you aren't looking, I guess.

Of course, we know Folken is no amateur. In episodes 1 & 2 we were told he went through the exact same training as Van did with Balgus in order to complete the rite of ascension. (And it seems like the two of them were equally as good at it, which is to say, not good at at all.) But Folken doesn't like fighting. This is also stated in the design notes; he prefers reading to swordfighting. But the brothers are given no other choice by the people and events around them. Folken being desperate for escape from a cruel life and seeing no way out but a clean slate is also replicated in the Escaflowne film. In the film, that conclusion is merely followed to a different place.

If you want to know more about the facts and symbols of Fanelia's warrior culture, read this.

Oh yeah— this is the first and last time Dilandau comes to the bridge of the Vione. He is punished for his behaviour and loses more and more until all he has is Jajuka. War cannot sustain life, turns out. Hm.

EPISODE 4: Well, Folken's pissed at Dilandau's bullshit already.

Folken: Where are you going?

Dilandau: Isn't it obvious? I'm going to battle. We know where the dragon is.

Folken: Asturia is our ally.

Dilandau: How annoying. If I wait for political negotiation, I'll miss the target.

Folken: Why make matters worse?

Dilandau: If we use the Stealth Cloak that you invented, we won't leave any clue that we're from Zaibach. Look foward to my souvenir, Strategos.

Folken doesn't like this at all. This is an early hint at his intentions. In a series where he seems positioned as a villain, we're shown here something strange, which is that he wants to avoid needless violence. He is distrusting of Dilandau and a bit perplexed by his boss' orders. This is also the episode where he mysteriously hints at the location of Escaflowne/The Crusade, hidden behind a waterfall.

EPISODE 5: This one'll be getting a lot of coverage because it does a lot of things. Hey, look at that... Dilandau chides Folken for being overly cautious and not letting him swat the Crusade out of the sky. Then Dilandau suggests they destroy Escaflowne and Folken says, "I can't allow that."

Escaflowne is the only mech to form a blood pact with its pilot. The only person who can enter, exit, activate it is the pilot. If it were easier, then the crew would've broken Van out of Escaflowne at the beginning of episodes 14 and 15. In episode 20, Escaflowne "activates itself" and it opens the exact same way, with the exact same force. (I'm not totally sure if the mechs are considered hydraulic or pneumatic, but a shitload of pressurised air is released when the cockpit opens. The pilots are normally strapped into their mechs, and take a second before exiting. But Van is unconscious right now.)

The only way to get Van out of Escaflowne is for Folken to commune with/activate it, and he can do this because he and Van share blood. Alert: This episode is about them being similar. When they take different actions, they're moved by similar impulses. It's on purpose!

We learn:

1. since Folken conceals himself drawing his blood, it must be important to keep Dilandau from knowing how he's activated it, meaning it's important for Dilandau to believe anyone can activate it. 2. only Folken and Van can do this. 3. if anyone else tries to do the same, they'll be injured/blow a hole in the roof. Which I guess leads to: 4. Escaflowne has a fucked up relationship with its pilot and is a dangerous object even at rest. Maybe weapons... aren't... cool...? ... Naaaaah.

Van wakes to Folken whistling the cradle song. This is to soothe Van. How do I know? Well, because it's an old song from Fanelia, which he says, and it's called cradle song* so it's... for soothing. Van being upset is disadvantageous to Folken getting through to him. That problem will repeat between Folken and Van and Hitomi and Van, it'll be remarked upon by Hitomi, and it'll resolve in episode 26. Folken does not raise his voice and looks Van right in the eye, unobscured. He lets Van freely get up and even moves aside so Van can reach the sword, putting himself (at least by appearances) in danger.

From the song to the moment he reveals his wings, Folken was leaving openings for Van to recognise him. Much like yourself, I'm sure, Van is very surprised to find that this man... doesn't want him dead?

Folken opens his wings under the same conditions he and Van will from now on: to save a life.

The gas lamp here mimics the teardrop on Folken's face while he's illuminating things for Van. The series uses light and shadow to do exactly this... only when Folken's wings are revealed, fully open, is Van eclipsed by their shadow. Across the series, please make note of how many times Folken is illuminated by the only light in the room, and the context of when he's in shadow.

*yes i do know the whistle version is called Fatal.

Folken is visibly scared/concerned and instantly moves to stop Van. In the show, Folken uses his sword for twice: Saving Van, and... well, saving Van.

Musing to himself later (or... perhaps even wishing...?) Folken predicts that Van will someday come back to him, and they'll stand together— a prediction which comes true, it just doesn't come true the way he thinks it will in this moment. And in order to make it happen the way he wants, he has to act differently. Just like Hitomi!

Notice the blue lanterns scattered throughout this section of the Vione. By the way, episode 5 is almost entirely red/blue themed :^) do you think that might be... meaningful, for some reason?

EPISODE 6: Van sees Folken in Asturia. Here's a metaphor— even though Folken walks at a leisurely pace, Van charges after him. Folken isn't running from Van, not now or ever. And yet Van can't keep up.

Anyway, Van is yearning to see him for more explanations. Folken explains (speaking over a statue of a man killing a dragon) that the endless slaughter must be stopped, and, without revealing anything about the Atlantis machine, says this is a war to end all war.

Left eye this time :^) He's seeing something in the future... or... could he be... wishing?

This is the episode where Folken says he can see into Van's heart.

When Balgus described Van, he said Van would kill the dragon at even the cost of his own life (which is an insane thing to say about someone Balgus should want to live... right...?) Although we began the series a short while ago, we're expecting Van to check the boxes of what we think a protagonist must do and be. He's revived a machine with which to do violence (that's its only function) and we've seen just how much violence he's already endured and committed.

But then Folken says something not one single character has said or will say about Van: "This world is difficult for a gentle soul such as yours to bear."

Right eye this time. Van is really taking in Folken. And since Folken's arms are open, and Van is emotionally moved, and he's standing in the MIDDLE of the BRIDGE, it suggests he may be close to receptive. He wants to be. He is acting this way because he loves his brother.

Then Dilandau fucks that up for both of them. In their current circumstances, Folken cannot keep Van from the harm Zaibach— the world— does.

Right eye this time, but Folken's not in it. Van can only see the immediate, through a renewed hatred due to Dilandau's actions. And the chance of a future is blacked out entirely.

It's interesting that when Van is giving Folken a chance to explain himself, Folken still believes what he's doing is right, so his explanation is unacceptable to Van. Later, when Folken does tries to express his regret and his desire to atone, Van is not in a place to accept it, because Van is in the place Folken was before, convinced of his own actions.

EPISODE 7: I already said a bit about this, so let me say something new. Folken is told— he doesn't order it, he is told— that the generals are coming to Asturia and that Dornkirk has ordered the conquest of Freid. He's pretty... well, he's not excited about it, to say the least. And he hates boys night with Dilandau.

Ah look at that. Surrounded by darkness, Folken is illuminated under his classic sconce, and Dilandau's turned his back on the light. We know the symbolism for light now, right? Revelation/awareness.

Folken serves to tell us more about Zaibach's relationship with Asturia. Asturia's military strategy is to form alliances regardless of ethics. Zaibach needs to use Asturia as a docking point en route to Freid. Zaibach says it wants Escaflowne. The king of Asturia knows Escaflowne is there because he already made Van battle in the coliseum. The king of Asturia and his boys decide they're going to "feign ignorance" until they figure out why Zaibach wants it so bad. They pretend they've sent out a search party to find Escaflowne, and when Folken offers to send out his own search party, the king says it's not necessary. Folken, obviously knowing where Van is, lol, is very calm (deadpan) when he gets word that Escaflowne is on the move. "It would seem that we don't have to search for it after all." The king has been shown his own ass and has to calmly shut his eyes and say "... We didn't think it would be disguised." He keeps up the lie, quickly and bitterly saying he had no idea it was in Palas! He asks Folken to keep up his end of the treaty and requests Zaibach soldiers be sent to Palas. Folken says, "You are a very formidable king." Hilarious.

Anyway, this is a teachable moment, because the mastermind is at work yet again: Folken forced the king's hand by doing nothing other than letting Van run around freely. Folken only needed Van/Escaflowne insofar as he needed to sign a treaty assuring Asturia's cooperation/alliance. Which is to say, HE DOESN'T NEED TO CATCH VAN AT ALL!! Furthermore, he accomplishes his goal using simple cleverness and diplomacy. As the military strategist, we might presume this was equally if not most of his job. Perhaps that message from earlier, Dornkirk's orders regarding Freid and it not being Folken's decision/choice, is also the bulk of the job...?

Folken orders Dilandau not to involve the citizens of Asturia, and of course, once again, Dilandau disobeys.

Okay, this is already enormous and I have important things to get to, so let's jump forward.

Some of what happens in the meantime:

Fashback about the circumstances of Van and Folken's existence. Their dad speaks to Folken once, their mom reveals her wings in public to scold Van for showing his (while Folken watches from below btw) and that is all the dialogue the parents share with their children. Oh— and Varie disappears, but does not die.

Folken is shown in a flashback taking in the doppleganger, Zongi, promising to relieve him of the sad fate relegated to his people. It doesn't work because Dilandau kills Zongi. Dilandau says he hates dopplegangers— interesting. Might speak to something about who/what Dilandau is? In my opinion they fucked up here by not showing Folken mourning Zongi. I'm honestly not sure what to make of this paired with Zongi's introduction and later Folken's relationship to the twins.

War breaks out in Freid. Van links himself to Escaflowne. Folken agrees to let the Crusade go free in exchange for Freid's portion of the Atlantis machine. Dilandau goes after Van. When the Atlantis machine is activated, Folken... is in awe, and I mean the widely-held definition of awe: an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like: [e.g.] in awe of God.

We meet Naria and Eriya and see how Folken saved them from circumstances similar to those in which Dornkirk "saved him,' which is why they're so dedicated to him. Everyone travels to the legendary mystic valley, including Folken, but Folken, who's wondering about what Van wants in the valley, cautions that there is no way to reach it, and that it's extremely dangerous. Which is why he doesn't end up in the valley with them, since everyone who wanted to go... did.

EPISODE 17: when the gate breaks, it's Van who Folken cries out for.

EPISODE 18: A lot of stuff happens, like Escaflowne gets a jet engine that Van uses to blast past Folken and give him the evil eye in the Vione... which he's able to do because, following the events at the Mystic Valley, Folken has come back to Zaibach... to check on Van. Right? He must be freaked out that Van is in Zaibach? Since Folken always knows where Van is, it's almost like being in the Vione means Folken can easily follow Van around. After all, Dornkirk somehow plucked Folken, and Folken somehow saved the twins.

EPISODE 19: Folken's goal is to separate Hitomi and Van, because separating them doesn't only mean the fate machine will work— if the fate machine works by separating them, it means not needing to chase/capture Van. Folken doesn't yet appreciate the full implications of Hitomi + Van working in tandem, he figures that out soon though.

EPISODE 20: when Dornkirk directly orders Folken to kill Van (in no uncertain terms in the subtitles, "It's time to kill Van.") Folken is so, so mournful.

That desire not to kill Van/keep him from harm is why Escaflowne activates and reveals the Vione's position— so that Van can get ahead. Van had no idea the Vione was there, so he had no want for Escaflowne to activate. Even the twins are surprised, "The dragon revealed itself to us!" Hitomi was afraid of the turnout of the wedding, so while hers are less direct, her wants and Folken's wants are aligned. (We might also guess that Van wants to see Folken?) At that time, Folken thinks he can get Hitomi instead, and, of course, he ends up not wanting to do that either.

EPISODE 21: Episodes 19-22 are very important episodes for discerning the emotional point Folken is at as he teeters over the precipice. He is distressed and disturbed by how Naria and Eriya insist on putting themselves into danger for him, and that he is the one who directed them into that danger. He is realising that he lost sight of himself and the cost is too high.

This is the episode in which Van uses his power to locate Folken :^) please note that when he does, Folken is looking back at Van.

Van storms the Vione and demands to see Folken. Folken begs, with a grieving expression on his face, to be understood by Van. He doesn't understand why Van can't see what he's trying to do. The lighting and details here are showing his specific expression, desperate, yearning, frustrated, heartbroken. Van raises his sword to kill Folken, who does nothing to defend himself. He has accepted it.

But Naria and Eriya jump into the fray. Eriya says Van is who Folken loves most. That is who occupies his heart. We should've known this already, but now that she's saying it, it's unequivocal. Van, though, only unable to see Folken one way right now, is shocked.

Naria and Eriya being saved by Folken parallels Hitomi being saved by Van and, of course, parallels Merle's relationship to Van when they appear in episode 15. Merle is Van's little sister counterpart, and the feelings she characterises as love— until she observes the love between Van and Hitomi— are actually a familial love. With the twins it's more complicated, since Folken was older when he rescued them, but the series is disinterested in showing us that romantic love is reciprocated between them. Folken has no romance arc; his heart is dedicated to his brother. Guess what! Allen doesn't end up with a romantic partner, either! We are left with an image that his life is dedicated to caring for Celena, whose disappearance left a hole in him that he's been trying to fill. So, anyway, perhaps by imagining them as mirrors of Merle and Van, we might conclude the ultimate dynamic between the twins and Folken.

Shocked as Van is, he spends episode 22 only thinking about Folken, and when he hears Folken is waiting for him in Fanelia, Van BOOKS IT.

EPISODE 22: This one is a bit uh.... exhaustive.

Folken doesn't know why his wishes won't come true when all he's been wishing for is an end to the circumstances which created and dictate not only his life, but Van's life, and Naria's and Eriya's, who in a flashback are shown both literally and as one example of his overall good but misguided intentions, and the loss he has some control over, but within an environment where he has very little. He's been operating within its confines until now.

Where is Folken? Why, he's right where Van was in episode 2: on top of the right-turning conch-shaped chamber which released Escaflowne.

He wants/wanted to end to the cruel traditions of Fanelia, of Gaea. In episode 26, Van says Folken loved Fanelia so much— he merely wanted better for it, and saw no way out other than cause it to be built anew. Van says he is going to carry out HIS BROTHER's wish for a better world. Their parents were fully equipped to end it, or at least alter it, but they didn't. Folken originally took up the rite of succession at such a young age so that Van wouldn't have to— and, because of the boys' true nature as pacifists, Van couldn't complete the rite without Hitomi's help. He was going to die without her interference.

Remember how in episode 6, Van tells Folken that a war to end war doesn't make sense? Now, Van has been made to and even come to "enjoy" committing extreme and gruesome acts of violence this whole time. It's reinforced by Balgus, too. Van tells Hitomi that he's doing it for her, which freaks her the fuck out, and when Van says that, he doesn't say the fighting will end.

Folken can no longer allow himself to help create the situations that put Van in danger. Folken understands that wanting to protect Van from but also not put an end to violence, is what their parents did, too. It can't be both. So, now, Folken tries to show Van that killing is wrong, to break Van from his cycle of violence, demonstrating it with the dragons— they only attack when provoked. And, once again, he protects Van, and he protects Hitomi.

The point is that Folken and Van, half human and half dragon, are unable to kill each other. As both he, Van, and Hitomi all express at different points: it's unnatural. He realises they were born to end violence. Then he defects to atone for the harm he's caused.

The shot of Folken's right eye means he is seeing Van as he is in the present/immediate. This is also the meaning of the teardrop under Folken's right eye: from his first appearance, it's literally directing us to understand something about how he sees his life. Van's left eye also flashes in this scene— meaning he's seeing his future, but, just as Hitomi misinterprets her own visions, and because Van is holding up the royal sword, and because Folken is paired with the image of the dragon, we know it's a future Van believes he's only worthy of and can only attain through killing.

Remember which eye Folken sees and understands the dragon through? That's also his right. Which eye of the dragon do we see? Its right. Because he is here, present with the dragon, his understanding is occurring in this moment, and what he and the viewer are supposed to understand is that he and the dragon are the same. In his design notes, it says Folken's hair is never supposed to obscure his eyes. Because he can see things clearly, you understand? But in the film, he has two different colour eyes... perhaps to represent his life/actions/future being at odds?

So, Folken leaves. What he then understands is that his fate is bound up in Dornkirk's; Dornkirk altered Folken's life. Folken's fate has been staved off. And Folken, believing he had no other options, signed onto Dornkirk's theories. Folken's wishes, despite how hard he wants them, can't come true because of his proximity to the fate alteration engine and to Dornkirk. That is why his ultimate plan is to take Hitomi with him at the end, because he figured out that HER will is bound by nothing. He needs her to go with him to Zaibach, because he needs to kill Dornkirk, and he only knows he needs to do this because he understands the extent of Hitomi's power. He figures that out by talking to her in episode 23. She can do what he can't, and he tells her as much in episode 25.

You know what else happens in episode 22? Something very interesting: Folken communicates telepathically with Hitomi and Van. Van replies to him out loud, though, rejecting him. He can't let Folken in. Then we're inside Hitomi's head, seeing what she sees— because as Folken speaks, Hitomi sees the past. That's happened before. It happened just last episode, with Naria. But now, we are seeing how much deeper the link can go. She is open to Folken, sharing this space with him.

A few minutes later when Hitomi is talking to Folken, she gets a glimpse of Naria's spirit talking to her, and when she remarks on it out loud to Folken, he's surprised by the keen insight Hitomi displays— How could she know?

The metaphor with the dragon continues in this way: The dragon literally disarmed Folken, and through this, Folken realises disarmament is the key to a better future. But what happened with the dragon was entirely unexpected, and then, just as he accepts his death, he's raptured by Zaibach. No way around it: Folken was violated by Dornkirk. He was revived against his will and forcibly abled. His body was made not his own and now he's inextricably linked to Dornkirk's fate. At the end, he will be raptured to Zaibach again. A circular story. A cycle. To be broken.

EPISODE 23: Hitomi and Folken have a sweet conversation after Hitomi pisses Van off by trying to patch things up between him and his brother. She burns off the stress by going for a run, and for the first time in a long time it isn't purely for survival. Then she hangs out with Folken. She's very comfortable and natural with Folken and wholly believes in him.

Hitomi: I don't feel at ease, but...

Folken: But... ?

Hitomi: If I were scared, you'd have your guard up too. That wouldn't work. If I don't trust, I won't be trusted.

Folken: My defection to Asturia might be a part of a plot.

Hitomi: Even so, my thoughts of trust will reach you. Although it may not be brought to you correctly.

Folken to himself: So that's your power.

Actually, a lot of his statements are internal. In particular, his thoughts directed toward Van. And he thinks about Van... A Lot! Of course I remember other instances of characters thinking to themselves (like Millerna about Allen when he's looking at Chid.) If I remember right, the amount that Folken and Hitomi say out loud versus in their heads are higher than the other characters; like the viewer is supposed to have access to their perspective. Hmmmmmmm...

EPISODE 24: Hitomi is gone. This is bad for Folken. His plan as it stands relies on her being here, and hinges on Van's awareness of himself. So, this also happens.

EPISODE 25: Sucks man. Anyway, the math here is that Folken needs Hitomi to align their wills and transport him to Zaibach so that he can kill Dornkirk and so that she can counteract the fate machine. Hitomi has to be there to do this. Since she's been there before, she knows where to go, just like Folken does, so the result is precise. Her and Van's love must save Gaea. Folken knows that, which is why he is confident in saying "Finally Gaea will know true peace."

She comes to see Folken where he's been fixing parts of the fate alteration engine that were recovered from the Vione (the parts he had used preciously with Naria and Eriya.)

Hitomi: Folken! Van's suffering. I want to help Van.

Folken: I knew you'd come.

Hitomi: But, I saw... Folken... you might die in Zaibach, Folken! I saw something horrible.

They are both emotional throughout this exchange. Hitomi tells Folken that she knows he'll die if he confronts Dornkirk. Folken is visibly shocked that she knows this?! His eyes glisten emotionally. She pleads with him not to go.

Folken: You needn't worry about that.

With a sad smile, he admits that he doesn't have long to live anyway— the death which was originally staved off by Dornkirk has been catching up to him ever since. This is, definitively, a suicide mission.

Folken: I'll will atone with my life for my sin of associating with Dornkirk. This is my fate.

Hitomi: You can't! If you die, Van'll be all alone! I don't want to see Van sad!

Folken: Van will succeed. He will leave me behind for the sake of the new world.

Hitomi: That's not right! I'll do everything I can to change that sad fate!

And unfortunately... that is what she tries to do. Her pendant, the Atlantis machine parts recovered from the Vione (acting as a wifi extender) and Escaflowne's energist all resonate, creating the beam of light. The beam of light brings Folken and Hitomi in front of Dornkirk.

Dornkirk: Everything is now in place. All the pieces have come to me.

The zone of absolute fortune is the radius of a space where action/reaction are strongest, coming at a faster clip. That's what Folken's death catching up to him means. It also serves to say this: if violence begets violence, then this is a place where violence done to others meets you equally and instantly. The difference, though, is Folken's action is a righteous violence, because it clears the path for Hitomi and Van.

I have a hard time describing this because to me it seems obvious: This remains a constant between the series and the film. Gaea is destroyed by war if not apocalypse. Whether it's the Atlanteans or Escaflowne and the wing goddess, the people of gaea want to see What Gaea Chooses. This is predicated on the idea that due to their circumstances, they don't know that there's a secret third option: work together for peace rather than start fresh through cleansing fire.

The series is blending the Newtonian idea of cause/effect (every action has an equal and opposite reaction) with the Hindu/Buddhist concept of karma, which is a moral framework. The story mentions karma by name. These basic concepts are the same in reality, but one is physical, the other... uh... not necessarily physical. Right? So they're also being approached as the same/similar within the story (explored/critiqued.) For that reason, things are somewhat random in appearance, but everything is bouncing off of one another. That's also why there are so many parallels, foils, cycles within the narrative. Within our scope, everything is affecting everything else. And that's really important for us to know, because we can track the characters' choices and ramifications of, or reactions to, those choices.

But it also means morality is at play here, to a certain degree, which complicates things. Maybe "punishment" is too strong a word, but this is also a story about violence and war being wrong. That's a fact, pacifism being the ultimate goal. Which means, even if things are random and just/unjust doesn't quite work here, acts of violence are wrong. The dragons alone prove this. So...

SIDEBAR

As always: I understand the reason for "why" it's there, I understand what it means. But in my opinion the consequence of Folken's death is that it reaches back through the whole series and completely upends any meaning of its messages. Its greatest crime might be that it's one of the most uncreative aspects to an overwhelmingly inventive story.

Folken's black wings are a literal metaphor. It's an in-story sign that he's dying, and it's a visual representation so that we can better understand the story's explanations of "what you put out into the world is what you'll receive." Remember, Folken is the one who mentions the golden rule by name. The zone of absolute fortune is simply a place where action/reaction, giving/getting (lol), is happening at an almost instantaneous clip.

Escaflowne tells us that violence begets violence. Violence is not cool, it's not good, it eats at you, it depletes you, it sets the whole world back, it's barbarism we need to move on from, and love will help us do that. This is something that Folken and Van themselves talk about. But look: Folken killing Dornkirk demonstrates one of the only true righteous acts of violence portrayed in the series— an act of violence the show is telling us is necessary in order to bring about much-needed change. If that's true, if what occurs must be done and ultimately yields a net positive, then he should be rewarded for it, not punished.

It's very possible that Folken took on the responsibility of killing Dornkirk so that Van could avoid this too, out of care regardless but also out of atonement as he's put Van in the position of doing lots of killing already. But when we talk about atonement, which Folken does by name, we are bringing morality into it. Additionally, Van is literally on the battlefield at the exact moment Folken does this. AND IF FOLKEN WAS TRYING TO SPARE VAN, IT MEANS FOLKEN IS SHOULDERING THE KARMA, AKA, THE MORALITY, AKA, THE PUNISHMENT, IN REACTION, TO, HIS, ACTION.

So what about Hitomi interfering with Van's death in the same way Dornkirk interfered with Folken's? What about all of the senseless, "insignificant", gruesome deaths that Van and Allen caused? Even if Dilandau's fate was grafted onto Celena's, that's a very cheap way of avoiding the same implications. (And the out is made more obvious by allowing her to be unwell following her return, but this also gives Allen the opportunity to step the fuck up and take care of her.) What about the deaths Hitomi herself is blamed for causing? Van wields THE titular war machine, and in episode 23, we know he's doing it to impress a girl. Van has experienced trauma in this process, but so has Folken.

If this is the result of a righteous action, how much did any of the story's previous points matter? If there is nothing one can do to make up for their wrongdoings, then what significance could there possibly be to Hitomi proclaiming that she doesn't believe in predetermined fate? Clearly that's supposed to be meaningful, to tell us that fate can be changed at any time— but Folken's death proves that this is incorrect, lol!

The more I think about this moment, the more it tears down the story's construction. It's the most severe moment of creative disappointment, and stands in direct contradiction of everything that's come before it. Which is... unfortunately... the entire story.

And you know what, maybe that's why people think Folken didn't matter as a character: because Van and Allen are miraculously spared (honestly? insane that Allen lives) then that means everything they did was good. So they see Folken's death as confirmation that he was bad/unimportant. Instead of ~interpreting~ that as damning evidence of poor writing decisions, they see that as damning of his character.

END SIDEBAR

When Folken dies, the last thing he says is Van's name. The last thing they share together, through the link between their hearts, is a memory— from Van's point of view as a child— of Van running to Folken and Folken picking him up.

Wanting to protect Van is Folken's great blindspot and it affects all of his actions. Those are his conflicted feelings, which he finally settles. Those feelings are conflicted because his intention is genuine. If he didn't care, there would be no conflict, obviously. The series insists that Folken loves Van. And Van loves Folken.

EPISODE 26: And then, finally... beautifully... coming like an exhale of glorious relief... well, you know what happens.

Folken guides Hitomi to consciously accepting her love for Van. We are immersed in it. A beautiful song like a hymn from mass and that verdant field with a green we've only seen in the Atlantis machine— a green signifying change.

If we care about Van, we care about Folken, if we care about Hitomi, we care about— and believe her about— Folken. If you remember nothing else, remember that Hitomi was adamant that she didn't want Folken to die. It hurts. She cries over him. Folken and Van are linked in the exact same way as Hitomi and Van, and Van to Escaflowne. In episode 6, Folken alludes to this on the bridge. Then we get to see that link from Van's perspective in episode 21. We are shown enough flashbacks between Folken and Van to know the series insists Folken is not only important but also fundamentally good, and he was the most warm and loving figure in Van's life, far more than their parents. Folken is presented as being similar to Hitomi, Naria, Allen, Van, and the dragons themselves. They all highlight/emphasise qualities in another. That's what being a foil is.

Obviously he's positioned in contrast to Dilandau, and as a chill nerd who devours knowledge and does shockingly well with strategy and politics (episode 23) he's also similar to Dryden. You could even argue that he and Millerna are similar, being nobles who prefer to work with/among the people, and in a healer role, just as Folken taught Van about medicinal plants (episode 4.)

There are no characters beyond reproach. Hitomi is told she's caused every major death/disaster (by wishing.) If you believe Varie is telling the truth, then Hitomi is just as much a villain as Folken. If you believe Balgus is telling the truth that it's Van's responsibility to bear the burden of war, then you have to believe the violence Van must endure and commit is good and just in a series telling you violence is bad. If you don't believe it, you instead have to believe Varie and Balgus have been woefully misguided in a way that has affected Folken, Van, and Hitomi in direct, intimate ways, altering their lives completely. Just like Dornkirk.

To close: In addition to the futility and trauma of war, in addition to the cruelty of what parents/a warmongering culture can do to children, the denial of true feelings, misunderstanding of feelings, conflicted feelings, and the blessed freedom of feelings realised are all deeply important to the plot of Escaflowne. I think we can agree on that, because without that, there is no plot. From the very first episode, Escaflowne can't exist without that underlying theme. If you pay attention to Folken, you get to see the depth to which this is being explored.

Like I said at the beginning, I wrote all of this because to enjoy Escaflowne is to enjoy what Escaflowne is about. You don't have to think this consciously about it, but it is worth thinking about, and thinking about a little harder than just taking everything at face value. And I think a very interesting aspect of the story is that Folken is the character who figures out "the story." We watch him come to understand each part of the overall mechanisms and machinations, he understands what has lead to this point, he understands what he's working against, and he understands how to break it. He displays an understanding of the other characters. He alone knows what must occur, and he takes it on. As you saw in the series, Hitomi and Van NEED his intervention. Hitomi and Van understand it because he figures it out before anyone else— potentially even yourself.

And when I say that, that's a neutral judgement. But Folken is not unique in this regard! This type of character exists in an endless number of stories. It's an archetype I really enjoy even though heartbreak is almost always involved by the very nature of the role.

[doodle-do-wop]

PART 2 of Stina and Jensi HCs!! (part 1 is over here)

Stina doesn't have a photographic memory but she's got a good memory nonetheless and gave one of the most entertaining stories that day and even managed to get a laugh or two to pass through the table despite all the weird tension

Jensi wasn't sure if he was just paying way too much attention or what but he noticed Stina started to get this small smile on her lips as she moves her food around her try and talked about horses before Jensi blurted out a random question about horses

He doesn't even remember exactly what he asked, something about feeding the horses and Stina just looked at him and answered him completely on instinct so much so she forgot her signature 'i hate you' glare

She'd always looked pretty even when she would glare at people like she was subtly trying to push them away with telekinesis but her open expression, the relaxation in her eyes, her smile

Somehow, someway, she had become even more beautiful in his eyes and Jensi swears he fell for her even harder then

They don't share any classes together obviously but it was a special day where they just so happened to be walking the halls at the same time during sessions

He could see her confusion at his presence in the halls in the middle of class and he smiled and turned, waiting ahead of her in the hallway before she passed him and he matched her pace, asking her where they were going

Stina told him she was going to the library and he was going back to class

Jensi told her he could spare a few minutes to walk her as Stina scoffed and asked how on earth was he supposed to walk her anywhere, she had twice his stride and if any attack happened to them now she'd have to protect him

"Then I'd have you back," Jensi smiled as Stina eyed him and shook her head

"You're too short to have my back." "I can wear heels."

He actually got a laugh out of her then and she paused at the library doors, leaning against them as she turned to him

"What class are you ditching right now?" She asked, her voice carrying no hint of her usual venom, and Jensi's mind flashed to all the secret moments he had accidentally eavesdropped in before where she'd talk to another just like this. The thought of now being on the other side of the wall made him smile as he shrugged his shoulders and put his fidgeting hands in his pockets. "Ability detecting," He admitted and he waited for the shift in her eyes, for the realization to click that he was fighting a hopeless battle and was merely staying out of class to save himself the humiliation of being the only kid their age still in Ability detecting. But that never came. Instead Stina's eyes focused on him as she tilted her head to the side. "There's more than just talents Babblos," She said, her dark eyes cutting away for just a moment as she pushed off the doors and turned away to reach for the handle before she stopped again and looked at him over her shoulder. "Thanks for walking me," She added before slipping inside the doors and Jensi knew then what his heart had been yearning for all this time. He was going to ask her out

Now it wasn't super big with a giant banner and the Drooly Boys popping confetti canons as he asked her out

It was small, subtle

he got her a gift; half to give himself an excuse to talk to her and half as thanks for what she said

Stina held out her hand and Jensi reached to give it to her when her hand met his in the middle, their hands brushing as she took the gift and Jensi wasn't sure if he voice would work anymore or if his knees could hold out much longer

They had a date in Atlantis and Jensi cant even express how nervous he was

His mom had assured him he looked good (which she did cause she's his mom) and his brother helped him from being stuck picking an outfit and so Jensi waited and fidgeted and waited

He had no clue if Stina was a super punctual person or not but when she arrived two minutes early, waking quickly and apologizing for being late Jensi could only half pay attention as her hair was in a different updo style than her usual ponytail and she was all jeweled up and dressed like the most beautiful girl in all the Lost Cities

Stina had to ask him a question twice before he managed to answer back and even then he slipped in how absolutely amazing she looked

They had a nice dinner and a walk around all the bright signs and the cool colored lamp posts. Jensi had asked if she wanted to ride a carriage and Stina said she preferred to walk and that it was easier to hear him without the sound of the water

He almost slipped into the channel while they were walking and Stina fully cracked up laughing and Jensi couldn't help but admire her smile and the sound of her giggles

Stina has never not been taller than everyone around her but Jensi was shocked to find out before Foxfire she was actually a tiny kid

They talk so much about horses

Whenever he asks about her day there's bound to be a ton of horse drama because if she's not doing regent team V stuff she's helping out on the ranch

She's such a farm kid and Jensi is not ready for it at all because Stina could be trying to fix a fence and the cable could fully snap at her and whip her arm and Jensi would freak out meanwhile Stina just shakes her arm out, mentions that it hurt like a bitch, and then grumble about the fence before assuring Jensi she's fine and to hang up on Elwin, she's not Sophie, a small tap wont kill her

Have i mentioned Stina is a cuddle bug

Jensi's fidgety and likes to play with her hand while they cuddle and half of the time Stina falls asleep like that and Jensi can't help but laugh because all it really takes is giving Stina a chance to be herself and suddenly, like being pulled out to sea bit by bit, you're in a whole new world and you never want to go back to shore if it means being far from the ocean ever again

@thesfromhms hope you enjoyed my ramblings about this ship! I think they're really interesting and I think its funny that Stina is almost never the one to ask someone out first. Girl please allow yourself to have feelings.

[pinesfamilyguidetotheweird]

I'm not sure if anyone else was also in the dark about like I was or I was just that gullible, but its both interesting and disappointing to learn that Atlantis really wasn't a real city and it's not like I'm a skeptic...Okay, I kinda am, but it helps balancing out with the stuff I believe in.

Anyways, the concept of Atlantis was supposed not to be a legend and was only created by Plato to talk about the hubris of civilizations and other moral lessons.

I think there actual sunken cities though, like the Pavlopetri and supposedly the Yonaguni Monument

I still love the movie though and, honestly, I have to remind myself that in fiction, if Atlantis exists, it exists.

[youngmoviemaker]

Elemental (Pixar) Thoughts

Okay so . . . I think I have gathered my thoughts for Elemental after seeing it four (yes really) times over the weekend. Spoilers incoming.

I wasn't expecting much from the movie, hell, I wasn't even going to see it but I had just gotten out of watching Spiderverse 2 for the second time and wanted to watch something cleanse my pallet. The trailers and marketing didn't really get me excited as it just came off as a bland Romano & Juliet esque film with the main hook being the characters were made of elements. Then there were the first few early reviews I've heard that called the film bland and another miss for Pixar.

So you can say i had low expectations going in.

But I was so so wrong.

I came out of my first viewing tearfilled, giddy, and gobsmacked. The film that was being advertised was not the film I had just watched and . . . I loved the film I had just watched . . .

The whole conflict isn't romantic shenanigans between cute Ember and sweet Wade, although that is important part of it . . .

It's about Ember being the child of immigrants, growing up in a city that wasn't built with her people in mind and which can be down right terrible to her just because she was born fire. It's Ember's struggle to live up to her family expectations and trying to be a good daughter all while slowly discovering that thing she spent her whole life preparing to do, wasn't what she wanted to do.

Ember's journey is very touching and relatable, leaving me to think about it hours after the film.

Then there's Wade and by extension, their romance.

Wade is honestly one of the sweetest and most loveable romantic interests I've seen in a long time. He's very attuned to not only his emotions but the emotions of the people around him. He's not afraid to cry and goes out of his way to cheer up those around him. The chemistry between him and Ember felt natural as they slowly fell for one another.

If I hadn't saw the trailer with him trying to help pick up her headphones, I honestly wouldn't have expected him to become her love interest. They start off in conflict with him writing citations for her father's shop but he ends helping her in her quest to get the tickets overturned.

The looks in this film is godtier, like, they were able to make elements so expressable (Wade being my favorite with how they were able to convey that he holds his heart on his sleeve.)

And it felt very refreshing that there wasn't a main villian (cough cough Zootopia cough cough). The main conflict is character driven by the choices and consequences of Ember.

It's genuinely making me sad that this film is being panned by a lot of people as being bland Pixar and boring.

I really hope that the film does do well at the box office. It deserves it.

And just because a film has a simplistic plot, doesn't mean it's going to be bad. It's the execution of it that matters. Pixar is known for this.

For me, film was refreshing drink of water on a pleasant summer's day.

Okay quick fire of my favorite moments and or scenes:

• The soundtrack was really good! I loved the scores that had singing in what I think is suppose to be firish? It provokes Atlantis: The Lost Empire vibes in me and that's my favorite score of all time so I see that as a plus.

• The openning scene of Ember's parents immigrating to Element City really set the tone for the film and was done really well.

• Wade giving his uncle the "that was uncalled for/are you fuckin serious" look whenever the uncle mentioned Ember speaks so well. The rest of the family is AwkwardPartyReactionMeme.exe.

• Yes customers can be that stupid and infuriating in real life. They were able to capture that so well. I feel you Ember, I gotta deal people like that everyday, it sucks.

• Butterfly, Windshield Wiper, Half . . . A Butterfly

• Wade really pulled out all the stops, nearly freaking confessing his love for her infront of his family who had just met her just to win a game. Like damn, you go dude.

• "I made you a painting of a sad man . . ." Uncle gives Wade a painting. It's of Wade crying.

• Ember's mom being able to sniff out love is hilarious to me.

• Kiss me I'm Firish

I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO WRITE THIS ONE! BLUE FLAME FORGIVE ME!

• Act of God or an act of Clooooood.