#this was very maximalist of me to do….am i sorry? not really!

[saturngalore]

paraíso 🌺🫧💞

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

More Nonsense from My Ambrosius Stan Account Post:

As someone who got on Tumblr a couple years ago not really knowing the culture and rarely posts because I don't think anyone cares about the silly worms in my brain I'd like to give everyone who thought it was funny and left a like or a tag or a reblog a very I Love You and here is some more thoughts about it I had through the day that I thought nobody would care about but am posting now

The account was named @gold_loin_love and gained notoriety for being the only stan account Ambrosius actually followed

During the live stream Ballister answered the questions (that he had his followers submit beforehand) while still in character, despite the fact that he was laughing his ass off and Ambrosius was with him.

Example: "'Do you think Ballister and Ambrosius are going to get divorced?' Absolutely. They're terrible together and honestly not even cute. They probably had some cringy beach wedding with their weird pink child officiating. Ew, next question"

Ambrosius would frequently interject

"Do I think Ambrosius was toxic for cutting off Ballister's arm?"

Ambrosius, stealing the phone: "Yes he needs to be cancelled immediately."

Ballister, taking it back: "Wrong that weird creep deserved it to be honest"

He read a couple questions that were defending him and after giving them his joke answer about how they were wrong, thanked them sincerely

(sad time) The first thing he posted after the events of the movie, during which he obviously wasn't posting although how fucking funny would it have been to be Ambrosius and see Ballister's fake stan account post "lol get his ass I hope he died" over footage of him MAIMING HIM in light of all that was happening was "I'm sorry that I've been gone, the death of the Queen really took a toll on me, she was a real role model and inspiration of mine. I'm especially sorry to Ambrosius. I wish I hadn't run away. I wish I'd been there for you through all this, I know it must have been so hard. I really hope everyone forgives him."

(sad time over, silliness resumed) He'd use the account to make fun of Ambrosius and himself in every capacity imaginable

"Check out what Ambrosius wore to the national conference, I love how it's so shiny you can't tell how busy and incongruent the patterns are 😍 we love a maximalist king!!!"

"Ballister Ballhard surprises nobody wearing armor he got at the emo booth of a Renaissance Fair."

There is so much potential for this and I'd love to see more of Ballister being a silly goofball

[pseudowho]

Hi! I've never actually sent one of these before, I'm not a huge Tumblr user (definitely a lurker... I love to read, never post), but it feels fitting that the first time I ever say anything on this site that it's to you. I'm a huge fan and I've been following for a while. I've written for years (a very different format, try written roleplay) and you were the inspiration I needed to start writing independently, and I've been having a blast with it! I feel like I've finally started doing what I've wanted to do this whole time, and never realized it's what I should've been doing all along. JJK is also my poison of choice :) So thank you for the accidental epiphany! Lovely work as always and I adore you so so much from the shadows! My question: WHAT witchcraft have you employed to come up with some of the words and phrases you write with? Was there a ritual to unlock my third-eye that I forgot to do? Light some candles, maybe? I feel like I use a lot of the same words and descriptors over and over again, and it makes my writing feel so flat! The thesaurus is my best friend but that only makes so much of a difference I feel, do you use one too? Because I keep finding myself looking back at my writing during the editing passes and going: "man, I just don't know many words! Or at least not any interesting ones." Your writing is just so rich and colorful, and I would love just a smidge of your sparkle <3 Long winded request for writing advice! Hope you're doing well! <3

Hi!

God, this is so flattering. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: I love when creativity sparks more creativity. It's catching, and beautiful, and I'm so pleased that whatever I do has helped you like this. It's amazing to hear. And I'm pleased you're enjoying yourself and feeling fulfilled, which is the most important thing.

I don't mind being watched from the shadows, so pleased feel free to stay on Anon. It doesn't bother me. Thank you for reading my work for so long.

Honestly, with words, I find them to have colour. I feel like I can make a sentence or a paragraph run with any colour I want, depending on the pace or tone, or language. For the most part, if I look at a piece of my writing and it doesn't stand out as a fucking rainbow, I feel like I've failed.

I don't really think about the words I put down, I go by a feeling. I read a lot (though it's slowed down in recent years with how busy I am), so perhaps that?

I've spoken previously about viewing my stories like movie scenes before I write them. I still very much do this. It helps to capture the vibe of a written scene and makes it three dimensional instead of flat.

I play a lot of word and number games in my head when I'm performing mental tasks. Like...six degrees of separation word games, by choosing two very different words and trying to see how many adjacent words it takes to connect them. Also, trying to make patterns with sets of words in a verbal reasoning kind of way.

I do complex addition and division of numbers in my head, seeing how many decimal points I can divide something down to. I play 'common denominators' a lot, and have recently found some number patterns that I hadn't noticed before, which has been satisfying.

That sounds mental. I'm sorry. My brain is so much sometimes.

I wish I knew what to tell you. I'm very much a maximalist, and I think my writing carries a sort of maximalism too. I like it to be absolutely full, bursting and blooming. I love to read it back to myself and feel the richness on the page. It delights me.

Read more, perhaps?

Always here to give frankly unhelpful and useless advice, lovingly yours,

-- Haitch xxx

[crushingcasanova]

im so sorry for the late reply, my dear… in all honesty, there was so much writing i got overwhelmed… BUT i am now here and ready to write for you!!

i also absolutely love talking about musicals, and theatre in general. i could talk about epic for .. a long time. since you haven’t seen it i won’t spoil anything in the story, but the writer is so incredibly smart. ever character has a instrument dedicated to them, and its so interesting to hear the background music, and HEAR what its telling you! there’s certain motifs that tell you different things throughout the story, and humans always have less electric instruments, while gods have electric instruments!! the way he sets everything up is so wonderful.. and the lyrics!! my god the lyrics .. they tell a story unlike any show ive ever seen. the way he alludes to certain things with his lyrics, brings back lyrics that were sang earlier in the show, the way he sets everything up to tell a perfect story, to give you the exact feelings he wants you to feel.. i could yap so much more.

omg, that’s so nice of you to make jewelry for other people!! im not surprised, you are kind beyond expectation <3 im sure the jewelry you make is absolutely beautiful. ughh im pretty good at math .. but that doesn’t mean i like it.

im so glad you’ve had people to help you through it, and that you’re working through all that!! that warms my heart. :) of course i care to talk to you!! i quite enjoy talking to you , excuse me .. hmf >:( /silly

i always think of buying things as “giving them a home”… especially my stuffies. i have many. they are very happy with me (i hope)

we actually dress pretty similar!! that’s so cool hehe:) i also would consider myself hyperfem and maximalist!! also, what?!? i didnt know you were in love letter!!! .. i may or may not be on there too ..

OMG your doggie sounds absolutely adorable omgggg!!! ughh i can’t give myself away now that i know you are in love letter .. i will just say i have a few dogs ..

also don’t worry, yap as much as you’d like!! i love to listen <33333 i truly adore it!! now .. i have a few questions !!

i do NOT mean this in an ignorant way .. i apologize if it comes off that way .. :,) your beloved and your darling, are you all .. together? or is it platonic…??? if you are all together … are you looking for a fourth?

AHHH im so sorry if that question comes off rude at ALL im sorry im sorry im sorry forgive me forgive me 🧎

NERVOUSLY SIGNING OFF … 🎭

I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you with my yapping, dearie!! I'll make sure to keep this one a tad more concise :) It sounds like there was a lot of dedication in Epic! I've read the original myth, so you can always spoil it if you'd like :) I love when artists use motifs and symbols and draw things from previous works, it makes a much more cohesive piece and allows for everything to flow together so nicely! The continuity is awesome! I actually run a little jewelry business, so I make stuff to sell to people when I have free time (I haven't had a lot of time this summer or this fall, so it's been a little dead, but I'm hoping to make some stuff eventually!). I like making inspired pieces though, so it is usually gifts :) I made my school friend group a nice set of key chains / necklaces for last Christmas, actually! They were all color coded :D I appreciate you saying that you like talking to me, Cheshire; it means a lot :) I also have a lot of stuffed animals, so I get the whole thing about giving them a home. I have a few really special ones that I've done that for especially :) Also, yes! I've been in love letter for almost a year now, I think. I'm not so active right now, but I used to write lots of fantasies. I now usually use it for reading (I like to observe conversations and such) and for gushing or sending letters to my beloved and darling, who are both in the server. I'll keep an eye out for you now that I know! (But I won't look too hard, in case you'd like to remain anonymous!) it's cool that we both have dogs!! And our fashion styles are similar :0 I have to actually figure out an outfit for this thing I'm going to tomorrow... so I have to go through my closet a bit, haha. As for your question about my loves: I'm not together with any of them, but there's a level of devotion akin to that with my darling and they are my main priority (and i have full intention of continuing my bond with my beloved forever, though it's not inherently romantic and there isn't commitment in that sense) that would be something to consider. I'm not inherently against gaining another darling and the only other person I'm 'pursuing' would be Venus (Hi when you see this, little cloud! I miss you!!), but I'm not sure I could guarantee anything because I'm aromantic (cupio for specifics) and take a while to really consider people one of my darlings or one of my favorites. I have a bit of an issue with getting really close to people, mainly because I'm afraid of being judged or too vulnerable, so it would definitely be a long time. If you're interested in getting to know me otherwise, that is also okay :) I really only end up with those who I finally feel really care about me and who give me a certain amount of security in their life, but I am still quite affectionate with my other friends too! It was not rude at all, I don't mind clarifying things for you at all so long as it helps you :) I hope that answers your question!

[lewyn-martell]

after s1, officially totally on board w/ iwtv. adored it much more than i thought. louis i am in awe of you. daniel i am in love with you. lestat you are the greatest little guy ever. armand your ways entrance me. i really really liked this show, but i want to point out some criticisms just once and then put them to bed.

back when s1 was airing i decided not to watch it because i knew how the story went and knew it would be a louis/lestat show and i never cared about it in the slightest. plus i saw the decision to age up both claudia and daniel the interviewer and i was very annoyed.

on claudia's end because you take away an incredibly fucked up situation that unfortunately is immensely resonant. being trapped in a body you can't do anything about to change. having an terrible relationship with your own sexuality because of it since you are inevitably at odds with the attraction you want other people to have for you and that is not something anyone can control. how to reconcile with being with someone that's attracted to what you absolutely hate about yourself? something that could make you see them as a pedophile? am i just a fetish? maybe people aren't ready to hear this but as a trans person (especifically non binary androgynous - wanting to achieve plenty of unachievables regarding my body) this would be Golden to explore.

and while they make it a point in the show, claudia has clearly went through much of puberty already. her biggest problems concerning it in a practical sense are her small boobs & stature and that she can't grow a bush lmao as if there aren't millions of women in their 20s who look incredibly young and have to be carded at bars. (case in point isn't the actress herself like 20?)

it's completely understandable that it would be hard to cast someone who looks borderline prepubescent (or maybe even cast an actual kid and have them play out very challenging and mature scenes), but it was a disappointment all the same. in fact i think - even disregarding all that, her character was still definitely not as strong as it should have been.

the fact that they had her acting like a young child when she came into their lives when she was a teenager with a pretty significant chunk of life already lived bothered me. her character already felt hollow. and the inconsistencies regarding her troublemaking ways and its consequences (including personal ones) depending if they wanted her more on louis' side or not. the journey her character takes, her decisions, NONE of them could be felt as strongly as any of the ones from louis' character.

and btw? kind of annoying how plenty of the scenes between the trio were Amazing by themselves (and with amazing performances), but the emotional configuration to fall back was not really there. why does louis love claudia so much as a PERSON?? we know why he decided to save her. but why did he continue to be as taken?? and more and more each year? i don't want to have to read some meta about claudia representing a liberation he can only hope to ever achieve etc etc. that's just playing with known themes. i want to actually SEE that on the screen. the personal moments that draw them to one another.

and sorry, like. not to be disgusting. but everyone knows that the thing between louis and claudia and lestat on all ends is not exactly strictly platonic. you've already aged her up so people can stomach claudia's whole... thing. now you're not even gonna do the weird gothic incest thing?? instead of just giving a couple wink wink nudge nudge-ing how much more fucked up this could be? (but actually not. we won't go there for real guyssss). this is a maximalist melodramatic gothic show!! why would you choose to be cagey about stuff that would make it more interesting??

claudia and lestat on the other end could have bordered on actually fascinating and being legitimately catnip to me. if they stopped being kind of one note about all the same-y configurations of "it's the two of us now (either louis and claudia or louis and lestat) and this one on the corner". i don't want to say there were NO moments of interesting dynamic (potential) shifts because they tried A Bit but like. maybe a couple times?? hunting together and the underlying jealousy of claudia loving louis more than her own maker (who is also narcissistic) does not Make It for me.

i want to see both why they love and why they hate her. louis should have good reason to see her through such rose colored glasses even when she's much more of a killer than lestat and clearly grew up just as screwed up. i understand he is an unreliable narrator and is putting her on a pedestal out of guilt, but both his true adoration (which should be there by itself with plenty of evidence of Why it's there, and only made more strong with the guilt) and those sparks of actual dissent between them should be more present. ditto for claudialestat. we don't have only louis' pov, we have claudia's too. we should be able to see both his love and his hatred for her in equal measure instead of this constant underlying feel that he is just enduring her in his life for louis' sake while having some fun once in a while. i love the fact that she is a formidable opponent to him, but i want her to be more than an opponent. i wish the trio was as entangled and fucked as it should be, but i found myself liking the dubai trio MORE... the one that has considerable less screentime and in which one party was constantly in the background. but the new orleans trio is like. lestat obsessed with louis. louis obsessed with claudia. and claudia a big question mark as to her actual character drive & nuances.

that also brings me to how disappointing it is for me that lestat is so LouisPilled all the time. he meets him once and becomes obsessed with him. i already knew there was a big chance i wasn't going to care about louis/lestat since i knew the gist of it, and unfortunately i was right lmao. i LOVE them both as characters. which makes it even more sad that i can't love them as a couple. i like toxic dynamics as much as the next person, but they're only as fun as the actual pull between the two characters. they are attracted to each other, sure. and for louis there is much reason for him not being able to leave lestat. but in a romance-sense? especially from lestat's end... well, i don't see it. it makes sense that louis himself wouldn't narrate all the little things that keep lestat with him, but this is still a Romance. and two people simply attracted to each other doesn't make it a very compelling one to me.

well to end this on a good note, the other thing that i said at the start that annoyed me (aging daniel molloy) was ONLY because i thought a byproduct of that would be to remove the tension (as in, sexual, romantic) i already liked between louis the vampire and daniel the interviewer. but knowing not only how they met, but plenty about s2 already i'm happy to say how wrong i was about that :D

[zenaidamacrouras1]

fic writer tag game

You have no idea how much I needed to procrastinate right now @somanywords bless you

Rules: Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Weeeeeee. I took most of the summer off writing and so have some distance from these. I feel like all of my fics are like ad nauseam blah blah blah here I am tumbling about these fics again, but you know what? They take a really long time to write. So, okay.

Backhoe (123,456 words- E) (moodboard) Artist Steve and Appalachian Prince Bucky. Come for the direct action chained to a backhoe meet-cute, stay for the sprawling southern gothic kidfic.

This is probably my favorite fic I've written, though parts of it kind of drag for me, it's definitely not perfect but I don't know how to fix any of the parts without unraveling the whole thing, so here it is. It's so many things. As I said in the author's notes, we fell and love and got married and divorced and went to ikea together, me and this fic. I don't even know.

2. Plastered - (59k words - E) (moodboard) Kidfic, catching feelings, Architect Steve and Engineer Bucky

This was my first fic and I keep meaning to edit it because it has so many typos and then get distracted. I really like all the texting in it. I'm not so sure about my Steve characterization having spend so much time writing him since, but it's a fun time anyway.

3. Monoclonius (62k words - E) (moodboard) Kidfic, Sweet, sappy, wholesome lusting, Lobbyist Steve and Paleontologist Bucky

This is, I think, my happiest fic. Though warning: it may make you crave pancakes.

4. Unpredictable Synchronicity (115k words - M) (moodboard) Slowburn romantic comedy shrunkyclunks with civil rights attorney Bucky Barnes working on gender affirming healthcare and a mostly happy and well adjusted Steve Rogers as Captain America.

I described this fic as maximalist. Like, there is so much stuff crammed in it. But, I really like the recurring themes, they greatly amused me. It is the slowest of burns, sorry not sorry. I really wanted to explore the power dynamic between these two, and they needed time to figure each other out.

5. Take Me Anywhere (3k words - E) (moodboard) Ballet Dancer Bucky and Graphic Designer Steve, Catching feelings, wholesome smut

A nice short fic to round out the list. I like the light flirty vibe. I like the Steve in this fic. I adore the Bucky. This was inspired after having very unwholesome thoughts about the dancers feet while at the ballet. I've never been a foot person, but some feet are just inspiring.

This one went around a while ago, so if you've already played, feel free to ignore or point me to your posts--@burberrycanary what are you up to? No need to do this.

[mermaidsirennikita]

What are your thoughts on Titanic? Especially as a romance? Do you think Rose and Jack would’ve had a HEA if he’d survived (I suppose romance convention dictates yes)?

I saw it again this weekend in the theater and was reminded how much I love it. It’s such an impressive spectacle and Leo and Kate really do have iconic chemistry and give great performances.

`

Oh, I adore Titanic. I think it's James Cameron's masterpiece (no I am not willing to hear arguments for anything. else.) and the type of movie I wish was made more these days. I've seen it in theaters during one of its previous re-releases. I somewhat purposefully indoctrinated my younger sibling into loving it by playing it all the time when I was watching them in their infancy (one of their first "sentences" was "I'm flying, Jack", a crowning achievement for 13 year old me). The special effects hold up; the script stands up pretty fucking well; the performances are great; it's the kind of un-self-conscious, wholehearted, bombastic movie that isn't made much today. I am, it must be said, a maximalist personality.

As a romance--Titanic, needles to say, isn't a genre romance due to the unhappy ending for Jack and Rose (sort of) but it is an excellent romantic drama. To me, it does an amazing job with getting you invested in a love story between two people who didn't know each other that long but just... clicked. Part of this is due to the script, but I think that basically any successful movie, but especially romantic movies, are successful because of a combination of a good script and good casting. With romance and erotic movies especially, I think that a movie can have a subpar script but make it work as a fun, enjoyable experience if the chemistry is there. Titanic has a good, if unabashedly sentimental script--it's taken over the top by very strong performances from Leo (who.... listen.... morally he is...... going off the deep end and that's all I'll say on that, but he remains one of the most talented actors of his generation) and Kate (who I also find morally kinda bankrupt, but obviously is a great actress--and this was pre "I will do anything for an Oscar" era Kate).

They also had... incredible chemistry. Do people even test for chemistry before casting leads today? Very few people today, I think, even understand what good chemistry is. I keep seeing those Set It Up people (who I like separately as actors, for the record) upheld as peak chemistry. Jesus. Even people who I would say have good chemistry today... often don't have the type of chemistry Leo and Kate have in Titanic and for that matter in Revolutionary Road. You feel the affection, you feel the fondness, you feel a carnality that nevertheless doesn't betray the innocence of the characters (I'm a "Jack was a virgin" truther, and Rose was not but I doubt she'd slept with more than one other person). I'm not ashamed to say that though I have seen this movie more times than I can count--put a few drinks in me and I'll cry at the end. Again. Because you just get so invested in the romance. And of course, also because the movie has like. Popsicle babies. I mean, Titanic was a true tragedy for all involved, and I actually think the movie portrays that pretty well.

But I mean... Yeah, I think those two would've had to get to know each other better, but they would've had an HEA had he lived. I think they clicked very well personalitywise. They loved each other. They had the determination to make it work. The trauma bond alone would've been intense, lol. I also am of the mind that she dies in the end and the final scene is the afterlife, and like.... I'm not saying she didn't love the father of her children... But did she love him AS MUCH? I don't know. Sorry to that man.

But yeah, I agree with you. Sometimes watching it makes me feel sad in a different way, because I feel like the time for movies like that... Truly epic movies where everything looks so tangible and there isn't a ridiculous IP attached and the story is intense and emotionally authentic and makes you feel bad (in a good way) sometimes... It's probably not over forever, but it definitely ain't happening at the moment and I don't see it coming back super soon.

Also, movies where the leads smashing faces actually sell me on their characters wanting to smash faces. Look at this deleted scene (which, yes it was deleted, but I firmly believe that was less because of the intensity and more because Jack was.... not supposed to be that good at kissing, hashtag Jack was a virgin, hashtag this is my door debate). Jesus. When was the last time we saw kissing like that in a movie that wasn't explicitly meant to be erotic~? People didn't give a shit about their teenagers watching Rose strip naked in the movie theater. (Fun fact: pretty sure Titanic is the first movie I saw with nudity? I was six, my parents were watching it at home, my dad was like "Maybe we shouldn't let her see this part" and my mom went "They're just breasts, she'll have the one day" and by God she was correct.)

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

BUBBLES!! (I know I just sent you an ask and I don’t need to repeat your name but it’s my signature, part of my charm if you may) IM DOING GOOD!! I’ve decided to overwork myself for a uni project (that didn’t require that much work but I’m one hell of a perfectionist especially when there are no reasons to be and yes, I will mention that to my therapist that I don’t have phewww sorry) okay so I just wanted to say that uuuh I have a few headcanons in my head and what about a sneak peek? maybe I could give you several options and you could tell me which one you’d rather read first? Also IF (and it is a big IF) I were to write something and share the google docs link would you be interested in reading it? I really do not want the pressure of having a writing blog, already did in the past and it just becomes very unhealthy for me but I still have the ideas in my mind and it helps me to share, so? It’s really just a hypothetical thing but if you’re interested, I’d love to know!!

Anywayssss:

1) what if Sarah’s mom came back years later?

2) how would Sarah/Ellie handle reader and Joel expecting?

3) Joel’s…scar story and the aftermath of it

4) Joel being touch-starved

5) I know you just wrote a headcanon but I had thoughts about hair (whether you playing with Joel’s hair, vice-versa and some other cute things)

Okay let me know ily <3

- 🪷

Haya, baby! Well we don't like you overworking says the person who knows nothing about self care I hope you are looking after yourself because when I'll send Joel for instruction and the results will be bad... well... I ain't saving ya... But no I get it. It's hard navigating this world when you're a maximalist and a perfectionist.

You are always more than welcome to send in your stories and you know I will always post them. I understand the pressure because even I in the middle of the hardest week am worrying about how I haven't written in a while. So send in whatever you want and feel like writing! Celebrating your talent is my pleasure. I feel honored that you even want to share it with me. 🤍🫧✨

[awesomehoggirl]

Hi hi !! So recently Ive been trying to get more into clothing and actually finding a style I enjoy and I was wondering how you found your own style ? I really like the way you dress and express yourself through your clothing and I kinda want to understand how you grew to know that part of yourself so that maybe I can learn about myself too. So yeah, my question is: How did you discover the way you like to dress ? Trial and error ? Just getting pretty clothes and seeing what goes with what ? Sorry if this is weird ^^' Hope you have a wonderfull day !!

HIIIII!!!!!!!! this might be a long one lol. putting a readmore

ive been into clothes and styling since i was a kid, but started building my own personal style probably when i was about 13? ive always been HUGELY inspired by certain style icons -- first it was my mum, who is very very stylish, but usually its celebrities :) i think my style 100% developed around my interests! when i was 14 and into indie music i wore lots of band tshirts, when i was 15 and obsessed with 90s movies i was quite preppy (still have all these clothes now btw, and i rework them to fit my current style!). now my style has 'settled' ive learnt its better to pull your favourite bits from different places rather than aiming to dress as 'one thing' -- girlish lacy vampiric stuff from old movies, sparkles, sequins, metallics and leather from 70s rockstars, silhouettes from the 60s and 90s and unique cluttered embellishments from the 2000s. so there was an element of trial and error but it was more trial and improvement, and it wasnt so much random as shaped around influences i already knew i liked. wardrobes are always made up of your essentials and your statement pieces, and for me personal style is all about putting personality into essentials you wear often. a great way you can do this is by thrifting them or finding them vintage! i honestly swear by buying vintage and i really dont ever buy firsthand anymore because you find such unique stuff. colour palettes do NOT need to be strict either, but it can be good to limit yourself so you can mix and match everything you own! personally i like dark browns, dark greys, navy, cream and black, and i usually swear off cool white, yellow and neon (though i make exceptions very occasionally lol). DO NOT underestimate accessories they are a cheap and super easy way to add a personal touch to any outfit! same with layering, though i say this because i am a notorious maximalist LOL you can disregard that if you prefer minimalism.

Umm i definitely got off track here. basically build off stuff you like, pay attention to what specific parts you like (materials? silhouettes? accessories? patterns or motifs?), buy unique and second hand, have a little bit of a colour palette in mind, do not fear accessories and layering, DRESS FOR YOURSELF there is no need to adhere to one named 'style' or 'core' or trend! oh 1 more tip sometimes before i look for clothes so i dont get overwhelmed i make a list to remind myself what im looking for: this could be a specific brand or piece, or just a collection of visual bits i like (for me its guitars, black cats, stars, crosses, silhouettes of girls, sequins and interesting slogans!) ALSO DOWNLOAD PINTEREST it is sooo good for style inspo and i always look at my boards before i clothes shop!

[moonrisecoeur]

🐕 ok baby im so sorry for this literal. giant list. BABY YOU SAID YOU WERE WEIRD ABOUT MUSIC, THAT YOU WERE ANNOYING ABOUT MUSIC, ECT ECT WHATEVER I FUCKING CHALLENGE YOU BECAUSE I AM NOT FUCKING!!!!! NORMAL ABOUT MUSIC !!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM DISGUSTING ABOUT MUSIC!!!!!

babe i even CATEGORIZED them bc theres so FUCKING MANY !!

also i did do cws on some songs i had concerns ab? the ones w !s are ones im super unsure ab. also aaaa u dont have to listen to any of these but,. u awaked the demon,, BEAST in me.

i have also fdhgkjdsfg listened to most of the songs in ur post but my brain is also mushy after listening to all of these and making this list so i shall. give thoughts Later. xoxo (its also late hehe)

my top faves <3 (if u like these i am skipping the making out part and going straight to fucking u)

this is your night - amber

no one ever really dies - mystery skulls

magic original demo - mystery skulls

these dont rlly have lyrics but i literally listened to them on repeat when i was writing the novel length asks to u so if u want ur brain to melt like mine while i was writing those...,, <3<3

(cw: a bit loud/high pitched and really weird music? ravey)

desktopbuddy - nanoray

dogwalk2000 - nanoray

dog bus (ft telemist) - metaroom

worm rave - metaroom

songs i feel ud like based on ur music taste ive seen (plsss tell me if u like them bc i will happily rec more i just feel bad w how long this list FUCKING IS)

until we get there - lucius

don't just sit there - lucius

wasting time - hoax

western medicine - hoax

into the blackhole - hoax

winter - daughter

the only exception - paramore

are you bored yet? - the wallows

don't you wonder? - jagged jaw

tonight is - jagged jaw

the comedienne - parenthetical girls

who'd have known - lily allen

somewhere only we would know - lily allen (this is a cover but god its my fav version so)

come to me - goo goo dolls (baby im ngl i think leon would love this song)

true love - coldplay

juliet - cavetown

lemon boy - cavetown (cavetown is a trans king please support his music <3 mwah mwah)

relax, take it easy - mika (ngl this one is a bit more of a shot in the dark buttt)

together - mystery skulls (same as above tbh)

these r from like 1 artist i rlly like but bby i am sure u will NOT like their music,, kinda like the nanoray and metaroom ones but like worse. !!WILL!! make ur brain melt. (trust me when i say i HANDPICKED thru their music,,,,)

kill screen - machine girl (!!!!cw: yelling! im only including this bc its one of my top FAVES. it goes so hard holy shit. if ur comfy with it listen from 2:55-end cus theres no yelling, its just such fucking GOOD buildup to the BEST part of the fucking song [3:18] i9ts literally. AHH)

post rave maximalist - machine girl (cw: has some sirens and airhorns? theyre not loud tho.)

freewill - machine girl

nine minutes and forty three seconds - machine girl (bro this album is like straight up not your alley this is the only song without screaming in it LOL)

cloud99 (as above mix) - machine girl

lilith - machine girl

cyan hardcore - machine girl

sin to win! - machine girl

IM OBSESSED W THESE AND THEY NEED MORE LOVE

my favorite color is you - revenegeinkyoto (!!!!cw: yelling--mostly exclamatories and parts of the bridge, the ending is a bit heavy w it tho--, yandere song, heavy metal)

don't go insane - dpr ian (THEREVE BEEN SO MANYT LEON EDITS TO IT AND GGGRRRRRR GRHHHH RHHHH that one part GURLL iykyk but ITS A GOOD SONG REGARLESS AHHHGGGHHHH)

the memory viewer - sugary sweet machines

talkative revolver city slicker (/or/) resume song - sugary sweet machines (these are 2 songs that (at their core) are essentially the same but are different enough that i pick them based on which im just feelin more,) (OK SO ALSO these r from the ost of an indie game and IDK if i can rec the game personally (i found it during a very dark part of my life) but the ost and esp these songs are hella banger and i really want the artist to get more love for them)

megatronic - powerman 5000 (cw: not yelling but heavily synthetic sounding? hard music xP)

benzie box - danger doom (THIS. GOES. SO. HARD.)

boys & girls - will.i.am (BI SONG? BI SONG?)

gekka no yasoukyoku - malice mizer (cw: not english) (THIS GOES SOOOO HARD its literally. so good. i try to avoid reccing songs not in english but this is too good to not)

cipher peon battle - pokemon colosseum (it makes me feel epic lol)

overrated but i love them

little dark age - mgmt (i literally make amvs in my head about re2 leon in my car while listening to this song i am obsessed. Obsessed.)

wasted summers - juju<3 (fuck ppl who hate on this honestly like can ppl not have fun with music? let indie musicians have fun !! hes literally making a song with his sister thats the sweetest shit ever!!!!!!!!!! also honestly this song kinda hurts if u relate ngl pookie)

rhinestone eyes - gorillaz (iykyk,, that edit introduced me to this song but it FUCKS !!)

take me to church - hozier (look. -foams at mouth- thats all.)

mary on a cross - ghost

idk where to categorize these :v

the wolf - siames (I LOVE THIS THE EVERYTHING THE ANIMATION THE DOGGIE !!! woof woof)

can't get you out of my head - kylie minogue

better off alone - alice deejay

hypnocurrency - deadmau5

gyrate - rezz

j-boy - phoenix

credits song for my death - vivivivivi

i would do anything for you - foster the people (i ALMOST put this in faves bc god i am,, obsessed w this song but, i feel like its bully material so.)

sit next to me - foster the people

the sweet escape - gwen stefani (look i always loved this song, but i have a leon edit of this song saved to my phone and i watch it Daily)

my love - justin timberlake (me and leon. i also have a leon edit to this i watch daily.)

bloody mary - lady gaga

you like early 2000s type music? cringe? this is for u bbg

(cw: cringe, ravey)

pretty rave girl - s3rl (PLSLSSSS I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCHH GRRHHRGRRHHGHHDHDGSGDFSDFGGFHSD)

blame you - romanceplanet

bleed (runaway) - romanceplanet

lollipop (candyman) - aqua

ok this is stupid but im ngl im putting songs that make me think of leon in some way here (considering making my own playlist of stuff for him lmk if my taste is good enough boo ;* /j)

with you - linkin park (!!!!cw: yelling. (im including this bc i just want to say leon would fucking love this song. id make out with and grind on him at a house party to this song,, that is all). the yelling isnt super loud but the music is screechy during the parts so it might make u uncomfy? be safe if u listen boo, its alil on the harder side of songs)

cure for the itch - linkin park (cw: the beginning has a brief moment where theres a loud announcer? other than that this fucks, goes HARD.)

under the bridge - red hot chili peppers (WHEN I WAS LOOKING FOR,,, ROCK AND GRUNGE TO LISTEN TO bc i am obsessed with leon ehehe THIS SONG LATCHED ONTO MY BRAINSTEM,,,,,,thinking ab holding his hand while this plays on our mixtape while we drive to our coffeeshop date in raccoon city,,.,,,,u//w//u)

smells like teen spirit - nirvana (!!cw: screamy? i think? i cant tell if im desensitized to screaming in music or sm LMFAO its a song i scream when i sing it tho so) (also i KNOW this is a generic pick but it goes so hard!!!!!!!!!!!! leon Literally listens to this like its just canon)

talking in your sleep - the romantics (baby im so sorry i cant explain this one i also want to fuck michael afton and thats bleeding into my lust for leon)

no friend of mine - aimless device (THIS IS SO GOOD I WISH IT WAS MORE POPULAR)

hyena - aimless device

nobody's real - powerman 5000 (cw: its a lil bit hard of a song) (i cant explain this honestly leon would just listen to powerman and this would be his fave)

i'm not in love - 10cc (look look here ok listen to my vision. leon trying to convince himself hes not actually head over heels for you. i think its cuter with re2 leon hehe hes so cutie pookie BUT. [im not personally into aeon But..] PLEASE imagine him just laying in bed listening to this because hes still hurt over ada but hes falling so hard and fast for you. and hes scared. TERRIFIED even, <3 dont worry babyboy ill treat you so well)

yellow - coldplay

the scientist - coldplay

always in my head - coldplay (ok look i tried really hard to not put in so many coldplay songs but, listen. coldplay just feels so fucking aeon for you aeon enjoyers)

sweetest goodbye - maroon 5

sunday morning - maroon 5

my console - eiffle 65 (look. its Funny.)

separate ways (worlds apart) - journey

away from the sun - 3 doors down

here without you - 3 doors down

my precious - lifehouse

hanging by a moment - lifehouse

last child - aerosmith

jaded - aerosmith

turn up the radio - autograph

lullaby - the cure

last kiss - pearl jam (cw: kinda descriptive singing about the scenario of a loved one dying, brief mentions of religion) (he wouldnt relate to this song at all but i KNOW mans would cry to it)

(i could dig up more for this section but baby i do not wanna bore you with retro songs)

actually fuck i could put so many more songs period but this is probably already a 5 hr playlist atp eheh sorry

if u want i could make an actual playlist if u ACTUALLY wanna listen to ts so its not such a pain going thru dhjksdfhgsdkg (tho theres a few songs that arent on spotty bc its stinky :( )

🐕

the most hilarious part about this is that the only song on this gigantic list that i recognize is don’t go insane BUT NOT EVEN BECAUSE OF LEON i just like dpr ian he’s so pretty :3

also i think ill be able to put them into a playlist myself !! dw i don’t wanna make u go through the effort!! i shall attempt to listen to everything!!

[szopenhauer]

Give me a random word in another language. Tell me what it means. ulica - street or czekolada - chocolate *I bet you read/spell those wrong :P

How long does it roughly take you to do grocery shopping? depends, I’m pretty fast, especially if I buy local but sometimes there’s no product I need in the store so I go to another 

Which city would you like to visit- Rome, London or Paris? London, then Paris, then Rome

Would you rather visit Australia or Germany? Germany, I have no interest in Australia at this point

Would you prefer a pet rat, mouse, snake, lizard or spider? rat or mouse, definitely not a spider because of M.

Can you play the violin? If not, would you like to? no and no

Can you keep a pokerface and not show your emotions easily? often

Are you a good liar (tell the truth this time)? can be but I don’t like to lie

Are you wearing shoes, just socks or nothing on your feet? ugg slippers and fuzzy socks

Do you prefer to write etc, etcetera or something else? etc itp itd and such

Do you think rainbows are pretty or overrated? overrated

Are you more skeptical or gullible? skeptical

How often do you drink sodas or fizzy drinks? never

Do you currently live in the same country you were born in? sure

Do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings? sometimes

Do you like carrot cake? gross

Don’t you hate it when people say ‘I don’t mean to be rude but…’? omg

How good is your memory? ha ha ha 

Is there anyone you love, whose name starts with M? XD

Have your neighbors ever complained that your music/TV was too loud? weird but they actually didn’t!

How many zeroes occur in your mobile phone number? none

Are you currently wearing anything green? am not

Name an animal that starts with the 2nd letter of your middle name. -

Have you ever had feelings for someone whose name started with S? yup

How many red lipsticks do you own? old one, past expiration date 

What are you doing to improve or maintain your health currently? my best lmfao which is not enough, if only I had money...

Do you ever look at someone’s social media posts and feel a little jealous? who doesn’t?

Do you like how your hair looks today? I washed them last night but didn’t look at myself in the mirror in the morning just yet

What health problem are you struggling with currently? list is too long

Do you take life day by day? I’m on survival mode

Do you have a lot of questions? would say so

List 10 fashion trends you like/dislike. current? I’m not aware... let me check  according to Vogue there are puffy sleeves that I’m not into but they’re not gross, gold - fine if not too much I suppose, cardigans - I prefer not open tops but sometimes they’re useful indeed, check pattern (no surprises here - checkered stuff for summer? groundbreaking) - same opinion as with puffy sleeves, maybe it’s the fact of popularity and fall stereotypes that pushes me away from the thing but... nvm, lets move on! fringe - bags with it are noice but I prefer to not use smth that might cause an accident... matrix coats? why not?! Nat’s Spike mode - count me in? gonna feel like a leather couch again, red color causes my anxiety and anger issues but in small doses is like gold I mentioned above, suits are Vinnie’s but I don’t mind ‘em for specific occassions, inflate bottoms aren’t casual so not no chance of using that in everyday life, masculine fashion? POSITIVELY TRIGGERED - love me some bad boy vibes - excited AF, back to black - classy, what else is there to say? ;)

Are you ready for Jesus to come back? please

Do you believe that Jesus lived and is returning? hopefully?

Do you have too much clutter in your home? we are hoarders/maximalists 

If you were rich, would you get a professional photoshoot done? *shrug*

Have you ever taken a photo every day for a year? no patience for shit like that, sorry

Do you have way too many photos stored on your computer? oh well...

Do you take a lot of selfies? probably 

Do you ever multi-task? usually

Are you multi-tasking right now? not really atm

Are you “with” the very last person you kissed? we’re engaged 

Have you ever broken up with someone for someone else? poniekąd na koloniach  był taki chłopczyk, którego nikt nie lubił, najmłodszy, no i mi go było żal, że Aneta (w jego wieku, moja koleżanka) nie chce z nim tańczyć to się nad nim zlitowałam i od razu mnie polubił, przyniósł mi kwiatki jakieś wodne i potem po prostu przestałam się nim zajmować bo nasza opiekunka szukała dziewczyn dla takiego grubszego chłopaka nieśmiałego i dzięki temu miał grono fanek, ale wybrał akurat mnie i to mi pochlebiało, dał mi swoją czapkę z daszkiem na trochę (potem wyjechał szybciej niż inni więc mu oddałam i w sumie trochę szkoda było iż nie miałam z nim kontaktu bo się wstydziłam poprosić - mówili na niego LODÓWA), w końcu zdeterminowana wziąć kolonijny ślub uczepiłam się wręcz Łukasza (kolegi tamtego - Piotra czy Pawła) i nawet miałam pierścionek zrobiony specjalnie dla nas przez kowala oraz dyplom, wykonywaliśmy zadania i wyniósł mnie na rękach (ledwo) i suknię ślubną skleciłam hahaha, a tak na serio robiłam to tylko żeby się pochwalić, że ktoś mnie chciał, nie ważne kto, a tamten pierwszy malec mnie za to kopnął w dupę (serio) i musiałam się z nim godzić przy wychowawcy, ale mnie unikał jak ognia obrażony potem, wszyscy byli ode mnie kilka lat młodsi ^^”  taka byłam, albo to była Anya/Amy, nie wiem, chciałam się dopasować, moje BPD ze mnie wyłaziło ehh  jeśli to się nie liczy to były potem też przecież momenty kiedy przerzucałam się z jednej dziewczyny na drugą zainteresowaniem bardzo szybko, czasami wracałam do poprzedniej byleby dostać odrobinę uwagi, czuć sie potrzebna, nie być taka samotna czy coś - ale nie liczyłam na nic poważnego, żyłam tu i teraz, żeby nie odstawać, bo przyszłości przecież i tak miałam nie mieć, więc dowartościowanie się jedynie wchodziło w grę lub poczucie przynależności, bycie opcją, wręcz masochistycznie nawet jak wiadomo, swego rodzaju bezpieczeństwo - flirt/zabawa

How many windows are open on your computer? shitload

Have you ever laughed at something that wasn’t meant to be funny? whoops

Have you done anything sneaky lately? maybe 

Does someone have feelings for you? it seems 

Are you hard to please? am I? I’m picky about some things but usually it’s not my fault like food, sigh...

Relationship to the last person you called? my doctor

What color shirt are you wearing? grey

Is there anything you wish you did today? Why haven’t you done it? I plan, I’ll try

What were you doing before you started this survey? bunch of things

Can you honestly say that you love yourself? umm...

Do you think you spend too much time feeling upset? sadly

Do you own a pair of uggs? have��‘em on! as I already said above

Has the person you have feelings for ever told you that you’re attractive? I don’t believe her

Do you hide your feelings or show them? depends, usually show tho

Do you like to have long hair or short hair? short 

Do you think relationships are hard? everything is but point is if it’s worthy

Any friends who are constantly venting about their significant other? luckily no longer have any friends like that, no friends at all actually

Have you ever been ice-skating? just once and don’t wanna

Does the sound of rain at night help you sleep? often

Have you ever seen an albino person, in person? I haven’t

Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? nope

Do you obsessively apply lip-gloss or lip balm? eww, hell no

Have you ever walked into a massive cobweb? yeah, gross

When you can tell that someone’s lying, do you call them out on it? sometimes, I might

Do you like Musicals? nooo

Do you live with anyone that you try to avoid at all costs? no comment

When was the last time you cried? that night from happiness :3

What kind of bottoms are you wearing? my SW pajama pants but gonna change now

What do you hear right now? my mom talking <rolling my eyes>

In the past week have you got your hair cut? nope

In the past week have you felt sad? obvi

Has someone disappointed you recently? yep

If you could pack up and move, would you? asap

What is something in your life that you feel hopeful about right now? I’m scared to...

What was the last thing you worried about that turned out better than expected? my gf proposing to me for example?

What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot? bread, I wish I had variety :(

When was the last time you felt unable or unwilling to speak your mind to someone? with my mother it’s frequent 

What was the last thing you changed your mind about? it’s a rollerclaster XD

Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more? dad and M. - I wish I could count on my other parent and sister...

[briepark]

kaisoo delulu post ahead :) long post :)) i’m not sorry

people say that he, as of ji, is perfectly fine, but it does not seem to be like that for me. on stage he was really happy, giggling, smiling. but think about it. his life is about dancing/ singing/ performing, he has started it at such a young age and not to forget he is a professional. exo has always been praised by literally everybody who they have ever met in connection with their professionalism, their talent and i could go on, but that would be a different topic. so on stage of course he is amazing and flawless. 1) the boys have been getting 0 promotions and like 0 chances of meeting their fans and we know them well, they truly love performing, meeting their beloved fans so of course ji would be happy on stage finally. moreover? exo was not supposed to have any schedules for this year. so obviously they were all happy. 2) he is a maximalist, and is always so hard on himself. remember when he injured his ankle? or the time during elyxion when he made a so tiny mistake none of us saw? he broke down and the poor boy cried, because he thought he had disappointed us. i remember streaming that very concert when i was in school, waiting for my bus. i managed to catch that very moment when he started crying, my heart literally broke for him, he was just so hurt and disappointed.. do you really think he would ever want to disappoint us by doing a stage he is not 100% proud of? and overall do you think he would ever want to disappoint us? i cannot put enough emphasis on the fact that exo cherishes and loves us really so much, and they have already proved this many many times. he would always want to give us his 120% at least... his stage presence is no joke, it is among the best (if not the very best) in kpop soooo.. this should explain some more.

now the worrying part. when they headed to hk i saw that something was off, he seemed to be so sad and his eyes were yet again strange.. and his eyes have always said a lot, to me at least. at first i did not give that much of a thought to it as i should have and i am sorry!!, telling myself that he might have been tired, or sad or just simply did not need the pushing and personal-space-invading fans around him. 

but when they headed back to soukor.. he seemed to be ever sadder, like he was hurting really bad, a saw someone using the word lifeless  i have no clue who it was the app is playing with me:)   i do not like reblogging airport pics, and i did not do it for a while and i tend to avoid seeing them because i feel strange when doing so, but this is a yet again different topic. so, the person using that word the pretty fitting word and this makes me so sad and i am just so worried about him.. because that word fits so well.. i know this will eventually get better but i cannot see that part yet. i know he is hurting, and i want him to know that i will always be here by my lovely bear’s and lovely penguin’s side and obviously stay by exo’s side no matter what happens, i will stay loyal and a true fan. i just can’t help but worry... i want him to know that we are here for him, helping him with whatever we can do.

i am genuinely curious about your opinions as well, so feel free to write xoxo 

[readingthelastpage]

Tay is still playing the game: it is too soon to do this yet

hate to be the bearer of bad news

warning: this is a looooong analysis of the Gaylor fandom, the Rep era and the new era.

so us Gaylors were kinda enamoured with the queer context of the beginning of the Rep era. she dropped a few tunes that had people who used to believe her man-crazy reputation googling Karlie Kloss, wrote a nice little declaration about how everyone looking for specific men in her new songs is wrong, changed from outfits designed for the male gaze into something more comfortable and had a British unknown with a wonky relationship timeline as the public muse of the album. All is well, we thought - she is literally burning her Reputation, she will let people come to their own conclusions, she will take the money, they will both ditch the boyfriends and come out.

And hey, maybe that was the planned narrative in the beginning. But both boyfriends are still here, and one has been updated into a husband (with two separate highly publicised wedding parties). Now the new narrative is that Taylor will let people figure out things more and more - which is inextricably linked to Karlie, whose boyfriend wanted the “het card” so bad that he has to marry Karlie twice before she is released. They all want to erase Kaylor so deeply that they have to spend years in these new golden cages, but at the same time, Karlie will not even block instagram comments that call out her marriage as fake and Taylor will not stop people from writing articles about her that keep referencing Karlie. Maybe their strategy really is to lay low in public for years while building full separate lives but still be linked even in places that they have full control over, but then I don’t think it really is a good strategy. I think the more likely thing is that we overestimated the honesty of the Rep era and the extent to which is was another performance.

Of course people acknowledge it was a performance. Everyone in this fandom acknowledges that it’s good business sense to stay in the closet and maximize your fanbase before you cut the cord. But then, I argue, Reputation was playing the game on hard mode, it was a bit of a flop (sorry!), she switched gears and started contemplating the next era very fast, and we are probably about to get another performance, another continuance of the game, with things being concealed from us just like they were in the previous era. Everyone always wants that candid, natural era from Taylor and we were so smug thinking we were the only ones getting it.

Let’s walk back a little. Taylor always, always responds to criticism. They doubted her songwriting credentials, so she wrote an album solo. They called her a sugary country princess so she lost the accent, wrote a few pop anthems for Red, just for kicks, and did highly glam performances of them with no guitar in sight. They called her conservative and unfeminist so for the next album she debuted a glam squad and her public narrative was about friendship, her against the world, her against the haters who don’t want her to write about her feelings. She wrote Blank Space as an indictment of her public image (and, as Gaylors have probably correctly read, the narrative she pulls transparently with all public boyfriends), and people freaking loved it, and part of the reason why she keeps referencing it even into the Lover era is because she has never been so loved and lauded. But make no mistake, I’ve been on Tumblr since 2010 and people wrote first posts about how they shouldn’t be called out for liking Taylor Swift long before Taylor Swift started writing about being called out for BEING Taylor Swift. She has always responded to what we want to hear. Yes, her art is for herself as well as for others but Taylor wants to be an iconic popstar. Art is just a part of being an iconic popstar.

Flash back to the Rep era. The media was bad, so they get nothing. People were mean and used things on her social media, boom, wiped. There is no explanation, just Reputation. The sound is dark and she’s an edgy princess and she admits her faults and candidly writes all about a broad-shouldered love that helps her hold on - but no juicy details and pap pics. Looks like an abject refusal to play the game. But if you look again, it just looks like a response to all the criticism. Taylor, stop calling all your friends and the paps every time you go out to get milk - fine, you get next to zero pics. Taylor, stop exploiting your dating life for fame and having pictures taken every time you fly a jet to a famous boyfriend to sit on his lap - fine, I’m dating an unknown, we only hold hands, and I have broken up with two boyfriends in the meantime but will only write one relationship narrative song for both of them. Taylor, don’t play the victim when we know you’re a powerful popstar who plays the feud game sometimes - Look At How You Made Me Do Something Bad. The old Taylor you hated is dead - the new Taylor is both edgy enough to kill her and conscious enough to write this line making fun of herself. And those are not the only lines where she’s sarcastic and high drama either.

She Did All Of That, created some iconic imagery, and pretty soon she was able to see that it wasn’t really landing the way 1989 did. She gambled everything on a carefully planned (but still abbreviated) tour, won the gamble, landed on her feet, pulled some other cool artistic and political moves, got bolder with the wlw messages... but she started conceptualizing the next era very early on, at least visually, and we keep getting visual proof of that. I think Taylor wanted to reframe who she was even back in 2018, as abbreviated as the era was it was a long time to keep playing the snake Taylor character. It was the last album she wouldn’t own full rights to. I also think that it was a long time to keep portraying a cohesive narrative that wasn’t really all that true anymore. I think Karlie and her broke up for good around the time of the release, and had some serious arguments probably around the time Taylor disappeared, but even if you don’t and think they are still together, one can argue that Rep didn’t have a lot of space for all the angst Taylor was feeling. People say there’s even too many songs about how she got cancelled - but they mostly focus on the media and the Kardashians, with some shoutouts to false friends, and all quickly erased by “I have a hot partner so F U”. There’s not a lot about the pain you feel when you get rejected like that, including by your own fans, not a lot about fears for her career, not a lot about other things we know she went through, like being stalked and her mom’s cancer. Rep conceals as much as it reveals, and she probably wanted to write about these emotions as soon as she processed them a little better - hence the “really sad songs” we will hear on Lover.

One of the reasons why Rep just didn’t land is because “pop is dead” and people look elsewhere but the big pure pop girls for popular music. Every big pop girls latest era is either years away in the past or her most recent phase is an experimental or edgy one. The new sounds flirt with rap and trap, productions are minimal. Taylor’s Rep phase is also a part of that. The big girls try to play the game, but no one wants to hear Katy or Taylor doing Lorde, people want to hear new artists. Even Ariana, an old school maximalist who only barely adapted to this new era by being close to r’n’b from the start, is wearing a cute minimal uniform, writing in low caps and putting out trap-inspired songs. But the pop press has been talking about being bored of it for a long time. I think Taylor is seeing this opportunity for the tide to turn, has seen it since 2018, wants to be ahead of the curve and will put out a colorful maxi pop album about unabashed positivity, being who you are and celebrating others being who they are (ME!, as a first single of this era, blatantly points in this direction, just like every other Taylor first single pointed at the rest of the era), fighting for what’s right, processing your unhealthy feelings.

But will she come out? I don’t know, because this is still playing the game - it’s just that the game and the cultural moment aligns with what Taylor wants to write right now. Listen, I’m an older millenial just like Taylor and I am tired of edgy characters, dark spaces and the color gray. Maybe she is too. Maybe this time we’re getting full radical honesty from her. But it is likely that it’s not, and that it’s too soon to unleash everything that Taylor is into the world. Get ready for that possibility as well. Maybe the rainbow messaging will only remain as what it is right now - activism for others, and a little wink.

[carruechedaily]

KARRUECHE TRAN: THE SUPER-HUMBLE, SUPER-TALENTED SUPERWOMAN

Karrueche Tran needs no introduction, considering she’s been a household name for those who are into celebrity gossip for nearly a decade. “Hi, it’s Karrueche” is the first thing she says when she calls me from her cell phone, quickly followed by an apology for being like, three minutes behind for our scheduled interview. Important note: In my phone-interview-with-celebrities experiences, 99% of the time their publicist is making the perpetually late call, lifelessly greeting me verbatim with “I have [insert celebrity here] on the line.” Annoyingly often the publicist will require that I submit questions in advance for approval, which I do. When I throw in non-approved questions during the actual chat, the celeb offers a nervous, meh-media-trained response—that is, if the publicist, who has been listening to our conversation in an intense manner on mute all along, doesn’t interrupt and shut that shit down. That is not at all the case with Los Angeles born-and-raised Karrueche Tran. Whew! She actually wanted to talk, and was enthusiastic, humble, and filter-fucking-free during our nearly 40-MINUTE conversation. The 30-year-old was just finishing up at a gym in New Orleans, where she’s currently filming season three of Claws. Tran acts opposite the perma-fantastic Niecy Nash in the psychotically amazing, women-led (both on and behind the camera) dramedy that’s been described as Steel Magnolias meets Breaking Bad. In short, Claws is about five fierce manicurists who work at a nail salon in Manatee County, Florida and find themselves laundering money from a strip mall pill clinic in hopes for a bigger, better life. Tran nails it (sorry, had to) as Virginia, an unapologetically-herself ex-stripper. Her scene-stealing one-liners are simply everything: Virginia’s response to “Does it always have to be about you?” is “Uh yes, girl. I’m a millennial.” Tran has been immaculately executing the okurrr as Virginia long before Cardi B trademarked the phrase, and her maximalist, millennial-pink-heavy, Cher Horowitz-rivaling numbers—which, in the forthcoming season, will include a bedazzled eye-patch as a, spoiler alert!, style choice due to Virginia taking a bullet in the season two finale—are unrivaled. Thrown involuntarily into the scrutinizing spotlight in her early twenties for reasons that we won’t entertain mentioning, the then-mysterious Tran could have used the frantic fascination around her for a career in reality television and Flat Tummy Tea-sponsored Instagram posts. But “As if!” to promoting the aforementioned laxative, which is clear to her 8+ million Instagram followers, where she’s very open about her body image struggles, self-acceptance, and self-love. Tran talked in detail with me about that and so much more, including her thoughts re: her wild journey, from those damn TMZ headlines to her breakout role on TNT. Forgive me, but the slogan from the early-2000s MTV program, Diary, came to my millennial mind after we said goodbye: “You think you know but you have no idea.” Below, Tran introduces the (very) real her—the girl who once worked at a boutique on Robertson Boulevard and who dreams of starring in a box office blockbuster. She’s definitely got what it takes, and I, like so many others, will forever root for (a.k.a. stan) this super-humble, super-talented superwoman. You’ve been very open about your body image struggles, self-acceptance, and self-love. When did you become comfortable with your body? “

It took me a long time to be comfortable with who I am. Especially with my previous relationships or just with men in general, I knew what they liked and I knew that I would never be that because I’m a small, petite person. I think curvy women are beautiful, and I would love to have that, but that’s not how I was created. It took awhile for me to realize This is how you were born. This is how God made you. If you want anything close to it, then you need to work for it in a natural way. That’s why I workout—I don’t workout to stay thin. I workout to stay fit and healthy, but to also build muscle.” So many women can relate, and I’m sure so many consider you a role model. “That’s why I try to be very vocal. There are a lot of girls out there who are having the same problems as me. They’re always told, ‘Oh, you’re so small. You’re so tiny. You’re so cute and little.’ It’s like, Shut the fuck up. I’m 30 years old and I can pass for a 15 year old, which is a blessing because I look young, but it’s like, I’m a grown woman and I want to be treated as such. For me, and for a lot of people, having a butt and boobs signifies being a woman. It is hard, but I’ve learned to work around it and accept who I am—and keep doing my squats!”

I just have to say, you’re perfect. I’m not being creepy—I’m gay! “

Heyyy!”

Heyyy! By the way, you and your boyfriend make such a cute couple.

“Thank you. He makes me feel very comfortable with who I am, which is great because it makes me feel more confident and reassured that he cares and loves me. It’s really great to have that support from him.”

You’ve been in the public eye for almost a decade, but 2017 was the year you had your breakout role as Virginia in TNT’s Claws. Was it difficult to make it in the acting world?

“My story is quite interesting. The way I was first introduced to the world was from my past relationship that was obviously very public—that’s how a lot of people knew of me and recognized me. I do remember one time very early on in my career when I first started going to auditions. The casting director was like, ‘What do I know you from? Your name sounds so familiar… Oh yeah! I’ve seen you on TMZ.’ At that time, there was still so much press I was dealing with. I was like, Oh lord, I can only imagine what this woman has seen or heard about or read about me, which may or may not be true. And I was like, Fuck, that’s not the best first impression—being the girl on TMZ that has this relationship drama or whatever the fuck it was at the time. “When I made the decision to be an actor, I wanted to be taken very seriously. I had a lot of opportunities to do reality television and make big money, but it just didn’t feel right. I really wanted to have some sort of longevity in a career. I didn’t wanna bullshit around just to make money—I believe in doing things that I actually stand for.”

Can you tell me more about your acting journey leading up to this breakout role in Claws?

“I had a very, very small role in a horror film. I had like one line and I was very nervous, but from there, I was intrigued. I worked hard and took a lot of group classes where I could break out of my shell and not be so embarrassed around other people. With acting, you have to be vulnerable. “Once I was in those classes, that’s when I booked Claws. In between that time, I had done a lot of different shows and low budget, independent films. But Claws was the biggest production. So I went right back into classes, because if I’m on a show with Niecy Nash, Carrie Preston, Jenn Lyon, Judy Reyes, Harold Perrineau…all of these amazing, experienced, well-known actors, I’m like, Look, I’m not gonna be looking like the new girl! [Laughs] Going into it, I made sure to study with my coach and just really focus. I’m 30; I don’t have time to fuck around and just figure things out. It’s pivotal for me to focus on something that I love and to just keep working at it and perfecting my craft.”

You’ve been famous since your early twenties, but I’ve never seen photos of you stumbling out of the club or anything wild. How have you dealt with “the fame?”

“It’s weird, because I just see myself as being Karrueche from LA. Before I was introduced to the world in a very public way, I had jobs, I was hustling, I was figuring my life out. This journey that I’ve gone on…sometimes I think about it and I’m still mind blown. I was once working at a boutique on Robertson and now I’m on a TV show. “But I try not to think about it too much and let it consume my mind. I never want to change who I am because I’m famous now. I don’t believe in that; I believe in being true to who I am and adjusting to this new life, but still being humble and genuine. I’m lucky to have a great family and I still have friends that I’ve known since middle school and high school. It’s a blessing. My friends and my family are my foundation.”

Let’s talk about fashion. You pumped down the catwalk for The Blonds’ New York Fashion Week show. How was that experience?

“It was a lot of fun. I was so nervous. I’ve always been intrigued by runway models because they’re just beautiful, tall, lean, confident, and strong, and I never thought I could ever model because they’re at least 5’9”. I’m 5’1”! I was like, Oh my God, I feel like a little shrimp right now! But it was a great experience; I had fun. I don’t know if I’d do it again because I was just so nervous and in my own head, but it was a great time and I love David and Phillipe [Blond]. I appreciate them having me be a part of their show.” Well, Lil’ Kim has to be shorter than you, and she strutted down the runway and shut it down! “Oh. My. God. Yeah, she was so dope and her energy! She came out and I was like, Oh shit!”

Now for some random questions. If you could spend a few months anywhere in the world, where would it be?

“If I could spend a few months in New York and work during the summertime, I would love that. For a year, I would love to live in Jamaica or Turks and Caicos or Belize. Somewhere very tropical. This is my retirement goal.”

That should have been the question! Where do you see yourself when you retire?

“Living somewhere very tropical, owning a jerk chicken shack where I’m cooking the food myself. And I’m super tan, smoking weed, and in a great mood. I’ve been to all these places and I was like, I see myself here. Everyone is so nice and the energy is so good. I could live there forever and be content.”

If you could wear only one designer for the rest of your life, who would you want it to be?

“Oh, shit…I would probably say anything that Virgil [Abloh] makes. He is so talented and he is dominating the world right now. Killing it. I would wear anything that man put on me.”

And if you could raid anyone’s closet and steal their shit, whose would it be?

“Do you know who Aleali May is? She can pull anything off and she’s just really dope. I would love to be able to wear all her clothes. And she’s also from LA!” How would you describe your personal style in a few words? “Crazy, sexy, cool petite panache.” And sorry, the question that everyone asks: Where do you wanna be in five years?

“In five years, I want to be on the beach. No, I’m just kidding! In five years…it’s kind of around the corner. Time flies.”

It sure as shit does.

“I would love to be continuing on this path of growth and success and self-love. Just taking care of myself. I’d also love to be in a couple of huge box office movies.”

I can totally see you playing a superhero.

“Oh my gosh! I don’t know what it freaking is, but you might be the 20th person that has said that recently. I would love to as well. That is the fucking dream role. I’m knocking on some wood right now that hopefully that comes true one day.” Karrueche wears dress by The Dolls House, headpiece from Century Girl Vintage, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

I can see it now. The new Storm and/or the new Catwoman…

“Oh, fuck yeah! Hopefully in a few years! [Laughs]”

Is there any actor you would die to work with?

“Halle Berry!”

Who has played both Catwoman and Storm…!

“Mm-hmm! That’s why I laughed when you said that. I see so much of my character Virginia with her character from the movie B*A*P*S.”

Speaking of Virginia, how did you prepare to play her? Where did you find your inspiration to bring her to life?

“Well, because Virginia came from the strip club, before we started shooting, I stayed in Atlanta for a week. They’re huge on their strip clubs! I went to the strip club daytime and nighttime and studied the girls, their movements, the way they looked at other strippers, the way they looked at customers, and the men that were there. I was trying to envision myself as one of them, which I think helped a lot for figuring out Virginia’s mindset.”

Virginia’s been through a lot, and the show doesn’t shy away from it, like when she chooses to have an abortion and must confront the pro-life protesters.

“A lot of shows would shy away from it or are too afraid to acknowledge that topic because it might be sensitive. But we’re bringing light to reality and to things a lot of women go through. It’s very empowering for us to relay a storyline that’s not always talked about that people can relate to and connect with. That’s why I love this show.”

[househunting]

Do you have anymore suggestions for people who want to go full CSD? The tacky 70’s stuff is my favorite.

CSDs need a few things to be Full On CSD:

- One to three colors. EVERYTHING will be this color. Your carpet. Your walls. Your pillows. Your desk. CSD spares nothing when it comes to monochromatic decor.

- Strictly one pattern. What’s it going to be - plaid? Floral? a rainbow motif? You have so many options. Pick carefully, because it’s going to be all over the place. Your drapes. Your bedspread. Maybe even a chair.

- Carpet. Everywhere. Sorry, you don’t have a choice. Yes, this means the en suite bathroom too.

- Moody ass lighting. You have to keep it dim because it’s sexy, but also maybe because you are afraid of the monochrome. Does it really matter? No.

- Some kind of weird, loungey, made-for-orgies giant piece of furniture made for sitting.

Next I will give you some CSD Extreme Inspiration, and then we will move on to a more livable, slightly more modern version of CSD.

LOVE IT. Every bit of it. Even the carpeted bathrooms - I just can’t hate them. 

Think of the above rooms as Paris Fashion Week, and think of the images below as a midend retailer that’s received the trickle down effects of fast fashion.

I think these are great workable ways to have your very own CSD.

You definitely need a big, shaggy rug. The higher pile the better. I didn’t know I needed this until now and now I am terrified my house might spontaneously combust into a CSD. 

Your window treatments need to match your rug. In fact, they should match everything else, so you might as well buy a few dozen yards of your favorite oppressively patterned upholstery fabric and make curtains, bedskirts, and pillow shams. 

You could also pick a motif like rainbow and just go with that. I actually found a bedspread very similar to the one in the post here! It’s really cute and would work in normal rooms, not just CSDs. You could pair it with this rug if you wanted it to be more of a modern, toned down CSD tho. 

You need a swag lamp. I have one because I ripped it off the wall at an estate sale. It was not for sale. They gave it to me anyway. 

You need some chunky plastic furniture. I like this shelf set and this chair (talk me out of buying this for real tho).  If you get them in your motif color that’s even better, but white or clear are perfectly acceptable. 

You need mood lighting, because your swag lamp is not enough. I like this weird set too much. 

You need mirrors! Everywhere! To do cocaine off of! To view your orgy from all angels! I really like this one! 

CSDs are very diverse. You could have a bohemian CSD, a minimalist CSD, a gothic CSD....anything your heart desires. My fav is the classic, maximalist, monochromatic CSD. I hope this helps! 

[sugalaritae]

Abelia & Nutmeg 💜 - Fellow Canadian Anon

Canadian Friend!!! i'm sorry this took me so long to answer (seriously, i think i have the time and then something creeps up).

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

no and yes! i have rings and necklaces that travel with me in homes i live in but i don't always wear them. i don't wear rings since the pandemic even though i LOVE them, but i mostly wear necklaces and i have a few that i keep near me because they are expensive and have sentimental value.

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

right now i'm in the process of moving, so i don't really have a style yet in my temporary home, but i am a maximalist. gallery walls, books, plants, lots and lots of colour. two years ago i finally got a place of my own and i painted it and decorated it the way that i wanted and it was glorious. i'm very sad that i have to leave it.

thank you for asking!!!! this was so nice and i love hearing from you!! i hope you're doing well!!