#this was uhh april fools joke

[dailyriolu]

Hello fellow Ri---Sylveons! It is I, also a Sylveon.

[sifonie]

because I am soooo productive irl today… I may write some more while I can!

[paintedkobold]

Ay oliver, I forgive you actually!

[thargelalia]

see you in hell, baby

jason todd x fem!reader

Dick naively expects Jason to help him stay in your good graces as the MVP brother-in-law

-> 1.4k words

-> fluff, poor attempt at humor

-> warnings: none, the dynamic duo being dorks together perhaps?

please, reblog if you like or the author will cry

There's nothing better than to enjoy the vast collection of classics at the Wayne Manor library on a rare peaceful Sunday afternoon.

Or is it?

“Jaybird, hey!” Dick greets his younger brother, a little more excited than usual, as he saunters into the library. “Have you.. uhh, is my BFF around?” 

He’s scanning around the place like you could emerge from behind the couches or bookshelves at any given moment. Judging by his tone, Jason can already tell Dick wants something, but chooses to ignore him, too immersed in his current book to care. 

Dick looks left and right to the hallway before closing the doors, and joining Jason on the leather couch. The latter finally acknowledged his older brother to get this over with, so he can leave and Jason can read in peace. 

“She went to the bathroom.. why?” Jason says, narrowing his eyes inquisitively at Dick’s fidgeting. A fake smile plastered on his face, sweat bidding on the temple. He’s obviously worried about something. “You’re being weirder than usual.. Got your pants stuffed with itching powder again?”

His lips twitch upwards a little at the memory. 

“No, I— please, don’t ever remind me of that day again.” Dick winces, rubbing on his thigh to soothe an imaginary itch. Steph really goes all in on April Fool’s Day.

He clears his throat. “So, uh.. maybe, just maybe… I might’ve accidentally scratched that Beatles record sis-in-law lent to me last week.”

Jason exhales, contemplating whether he should ease Dick’s mind or not. While you were very careful and protective of your vinyl record collection, depending on which one that got damaged – and the extent of it – you might get a little upset, but let it go without much trouble. 

Not before an hour lecture to the culprit about taking better care of other people’s stuff, of course. 

“As long as it’s not Sergeant Pepper’s, you’ll be fine.” Jason shrugs, then chuckles to himself a little as he opens his book again. “Perhaps a kick or two to your shins.”

The silence that follows is pregnant with guilt. Jason can almost smell it in the air at the way his brother blanches next to him. 

“Fuck. Don’t tell me—”

“It was an accident!”

“Dick, you insane?! It was a gift from her grandmother!” Jason chastises, smacking the book shut with a hard thud. “You damaged an original copy from the seventies, you fucking idiot!”

Dick slides down on the couch, a pout taking over his lips. “I know!” 

“Can’t believe she let you borrow it.” Jason huffs, crossing his arms while shaking his head indignantly.

Dick has his hands on his head, about ready to rip his hair out.

“I know! What do I do now??”

“Well… for starters,” Jason begins dead serious, leaning towards Dick, who straightens his posture, desperate to hear a solution, “when was the last time you updated your last will and testament?”

“Shit.” Dick falls into the cushions, a desolated sigh leaving the depths of his soul. “Not helping, man.”

“Maybe Bruce can recycle my gravestone,” Jason continues, tapping his chin in fake thought, “what about an epitaph? Sure you’ve got some ideas.”

As always, any comment remotely related to his death has all the bats squirming or tensing like they’ve been poked by Catwoman’s sharp claws – which most of them have, in fact. They tend to feel uneasy whenever Jason makes his grim jokes. 

And perhaps that’s exactly why he does it. 

“Please, don’t talk like that,” Dick says softly, furrowing his eyebrows. Then, he changes his demeanor completely. “And yes, I do. Here lies Gotham’s hottest piece of ass. S.I.P.”

Jason gives him an unimpressed look, lifting his eyebrow. “S.I.P?”

His brother smiles as if he was dying to be asked that. “Sashay in peace.”

“Hope you make a safe passage, disco queen.” Jason deadpans. “Make sure to head straight to heaven, though. Don’t wanna put up with your glittery ass in hell, too.” 

Dick seems to suddenly remember why he was there in the first place. He grabs his younger brother by the shoulders, and shakes frantically. “This is serious, Jaybird! What now? I’ll lose my ‘favorite brother-in-law’ privileges!”

Jason kisses his teeth in annoyance, immediately releasing himself from Dick’s grasp, and pushing on his chest with zero delicacy. “You never had those.” 

Anyone other than Dick — and Bruce — would’ve splattered themselves on the cushions at being on the receiving end of Jason’s hard shove. But his older brother only tilts back, and recovers his posture like a roly-poly toy. An impressive display of sheer core strength.

“Yes, I did. I do. Remember her last seminar? She only had one other seat aside from yours, and she chose to invite me.” He points at himself, sounding smug. “And what about the wine she got me from her trip to France? Or the tequila from Mexico, huh?”

“The others aren’t old enough to drink.” Jason points out, groaning as he massages his temples. This conversation is getting tiresome. Baby, where are you? He thinks in exasperation. Dealing with his family outside patrol is easier when you’re right next to him.

Dick freezes, his index finger lifted in the air. 

He lowers it, closing his mouth. 

Then, he raises it again, attempting to hide his wounded pride. 

“That’s not the point! The point is—”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it.” Jason cuts him off, waving impatiently before he adds dryly, “too late for that, though. Replacement joined her Public Health research group last month. She’s invited him to dinner at our place twice now, unfortunately.”  

There’s a shocked gasp. 

“Not to mention the little demon asking her for help with his school projects, even though everyone knows he’s damn well capable of handling himself.”

An even bigger gasp leaves Dick’s lips, this time followed by a dramatic hand to his chest.

Jason rolls his eyes. “Will you fucking stop?”

“I need to amp up my game. Urgently.”

“Good luck with that. Not sure you can—”

Jason’s interrupted by the sound of the doors opening. The scowl on his face immediately dissolves into a relieved look at your return. Meanwhile, his brother appears as if he’s staring at a ghost.

You smile, tipping your head up. “Hey, Dick! What’s up?”

“Heeey, bestie!” He shoots up from the couch, sounding extremely unnatural as he glances at the watch on his wrist. “I–um.. Damn! I gotta pick up Babs at her friend’s house now. See you guys later!”

With a quick kiss to your cheek, he breezes past you and out the doors like he’s suddenly been possessed by Wally West.

“What was that?” You turn from the door to your boyfriend, giving him a puzzled look.

Jason contemplates for a brief moment whether he should tell the truth or not. More out of concern over you, as he’d hate to upset you, than over Dick’s sake obviously. But if you found out later that he knew about this fuckup, he’d join his brother’s body in the graveyard. And Jason is very much enjoying his second chance at life right now.

“Dick ruined your Sergeant Pepper’s record.” Just as predicted, he doesn’t feel the slightest bit of remorse for snitching on his older brother. Jason wishes he’d broken the news in a better way, but he let his eagerness for throwing Dick under the bus override his judgment.

Much to his surprise, you don’t show any expressive reaction aside from the slight purse of your lips. 

“You’re talking about the scratch?” You ask simply, joining him on the burgundy couch as he opens an arm to envelop you in a half embrace.

He tilts his head to rest against yours. “You’ve seen it already?”

“It was there before he got it. Probably happened during my last move out.”

“Oh. Oh.” 

“Poor Dick. I told him my grandma loved that record… He must be feeling like trash.” A sigh escapes your lips as you lean against Jason’s chest. “You should probably tell him when he comes back.”

“Baby, I���m not telling anything.” Jason laughs wickedly, taking your hand in his large one and bringing it up to his lips. The tender kiss offers a stark contrast against the disapproval in his tone. “Serves him right for not being watchful enough.”

“You’re so evil, Jace.” You tilt your head up, so he can see the playful glint in your eyes. “There’s no place for you in heaven, you know that, right?” 

Jason eyes you in disbelief. “Are you planning on telling him?” 

The pressing of your lips together is already enough to answer him – a futile attempt to conceal a mischievous smile. 

“That’s what I thought.” He pulls you to sit sideways on his thighs, arms tightening around your waist as he leans in to kiss your neck. Lips lingering there as his voice lowers in a way that makes you shiver when he says, “guess we’ll both be sharing Satan's throne as you sit on my lap in hell, baby.” 

A/N: I wanna be Jason's boo, and Dick's bestie so bad y'all!!

Remember to reblog, and let me know your thoughts if you liked. It helps me stay motivated to post on here <33

divider is from here

[detonade]

Good morning and happy birthday to Isagi Yoichi. Rambling under the cut :

Hello hi uhh hey, yeah this is my very first post. It's been a while since i started editing panels from mangas i like and uh, i decided to do one for Isagi's birthday!!! I definitely could do better, but i had 2 days to finish this and this is the longest time i've ever spent on an edit let alone a personal project. I think i did alright. Maybe. Idk the standards (well i do, kinda, i think)

Like, the overall sillhouette of the first panel, especially Kaiser's arm position and hand is kinda wonky, idrk how to do Isagi's hair sprout and i think i failed him (on his birthday too??? I could've done better), shading's awful but i did consciously refused to learn how to shade soo, also the abibas, bastard munchen's sword thingy and Kaiser's rose tattoo is, lmao. Kaiser's hair is also a bitch fuck i forgot his rat tail.

But this edit is not for Kaiser!!! This is dedicated for Isagi Yoichi!!! This is for the blue lock mascot birthday!!! The egoist himself!!! I might fix it later though, haha, who knows. (God i hope i don't have any more motivation to do so, because i am exhausted)

I don't even have a banner yet, why am i this dedicated to Isagi, he's not even on my fav list??? (Might as well add him to be it at this point, because he's one of the major reasons i enjoyed a sports manga to it's fullest) Why is my first post about some blue man's birthday, my whole blog is a mess (of nothingness, because it's so empty) right now, the only thing you'll find is just, this

Anyway this year's april fools joke is actually me!!! I spent hours on this and i look at it and go 'eh'. I don't, know, if i'm, proud, of this, like at all??? For god sake i forgot Kaiser's rat tail and i don't feel like adding it now, this took me 16 hours, which is longer than actual art that i made from scratch???

There should be a version where Kaiser instead said 'How does it feel, to forgot to add my rat tail? ... You clown' to me. That'd fit too.

And uh once again, happy birthday to Isagi. I can't believe i mentioned Kaiser's name more than his in a post that's supposed to be about him and his birthday

[freedjustinemywife]

Considering how the Raijinshuu has been constantly and consistently mistreated in the anime and 100yq (and the original manga, to an extend, but not so bad), it's not hard to believe they would be killed off.

It also wouldn't be the first time Fairy Tail pulled the "group of characters are beaten halfway to death for the emotional distress of another character, just so that said character can get a momentary rage-powerup and defeat an enemy that, in hindsight, was quite inconsequential to the plot and even the development of the distressed character", so...

It wasn't fun (although it was an elaborate prank). But the pages are quite well drawn, specially the panel of Bickslow imo. Hope you draw more (in general, not just the fake leaks) someday.

OH 100% its genuinely a stupid joke that i didnt realise was unfortunately so believable until people actually believed it, the treatment of side characters in fairy tail is AWFUL theyre either completely neglected, used as a cheap gag or just serve to further another characters story

i could make a whole nother post about how the raijin tribe specifically have been mistreated in canon, from having their powers scaled down to make them weaker, their personalities watered down to turn them into cheap gag characters, the list goes on frankly and dont even get me STARTED on the anime filler episodes mischaracterising them and what not. or even the more recent manga bits (and i think abt lobotomised freed and i shudder)

so yeah sad truth is the writers uhh do not care about them, but the fandom does so who needs them!!

also once again sorry to anyone i upset, if i had planned this to be a prank i wouldve done in on april fools i totally didnt expect the post to leave my circle of people already in on the joke 😭

also thank you!! i absolutely plan to draw them all again ive been doing it for years and i dont plan to stop jsjsj i just need to find the time (also people keep complimenting the bixslow art and uhh i feel the need to tell everyone that is the only traced panel, taken directly from the gaiden lmaoo my lack of experience is showing,,)

[agendabymooner]

9 to 5 || f1 drivers (1)

(SPIN OFF OF COLOUR ME YOUR COLOUR (WIP) and RUSH)

Summary: Lorelei Hester ‘Lester’ Alessandro is a bassist first and Daniel Ricciardo’s partner second. But it seems like another role is added to her resume as she begins her weekend in Baku as Toto Wolff’s children’s babysitter. 

Chapter/blurb summary: The first morning of the Azerbaijan Race Week began with exchanging of names and messages. As of this point, Max Verstappen should consider his seat in Red Bull vacant after giving Lester's number out to some random person (is he a random person? hardly)

Content warning: family-centric content, people trying not to swear in front of children, attentive Dad!Toto, Toto scaring half the grid, dirty jokes, implied erection but not smut, baby names, max being a fool by proxy. 

Note: Uhh... THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR 60 FOLLOWERS! I hope you guys are enjoying the boost promoted by the creative juices of my brain. I'm going to try and work hard on these as much as I am working hard on CMYC and Rush. Enjoy xx

masterlist

i. baby names and text messages

With her leg resting on Daniel’s hip and her head resting on his arm, Lorelei Hester Alessandro — Lester for those who weren’t close to her — had never felt anything more nicer than this. That was until he decided to ruin the peaceful life that they could have just staying on the king-sized bed. 

Her eyes felt heavy, her annoyance slowly waking her up as Daniel shifted in his position. He kept moving, trying to slip out of her grasp as she continued to sleep. She looked so happy when she’s asleep. Relaxed. He loved that about her. He won’t even deny that he’d rather stay in this position if she’s like that forever. 

Not in the way of how Max had worded it. “Hm… she’s so nice when she has her mouth shut,” Max never really thought that she’d hear it until she started threatening him with her bass guitar. That wasn’t what Daniel meant when he said he liked her looking so peaceful. 

It’s been a while since they’ve gotten the peace they needed. 2022 was quite fucking rough, they thought it was the end of them. But they’re here in Azerbaijan, all tangled up in the bed with duvet covers weighing down their bodies. 

This was the first race weekend that Lester would be attending in 2023. Ever since the release of her band Måneskin’s newest album, she couldn’t find the opportunity to visit him while he, Checo and Max worked at Milton Keynes during the offseason. She expressed her guilt about not being able to spend much time with him, but all he said was “you’ve got work, and so do I, love.” 

Måneskin didn’t have a full schedule for their shows, and in between their schedules came a gap between April and May. The end of April to be exact. So she took this as an opportunity to travel with him. He was a reserved driver for Red Bull and wasn’t due to drive any time soon, but nevertheless she traveled just so she could spend some time with him.

Their first night in Azerbaijan consisted of sleeping. The moment Lester saw the bed, she dove in head first and left her suitcase by the closet. The groan that she let out after wasn’t sexual but it sure did something to Danny’s body. It didn’t take him long to drag her down to the floor, knowing that she’d fall asleep in a second if he continued to let her sprawl like that. 

“Fammi dormire, testa di cazzo,” let me sleep, dickhead, she groaned. Danny only laughed at that. He had heard the phrase testa di cazzo so many times that he was starting to know what kind of phrases come out of her. 

“No, get up,” he told her, reaching for her hands and hoisting her up to stand. “You need to wash your face, ma’am and brush your teeth.” 

“Hm, Danny,” she whined, her eyes still resting as she kept them close. 

“You’re not going to Danny me tonight, Miss Alessandro, come on. Get ready for bed,” he tutted, his hands now holding onto her arms as he gently pushed her into the bathroom. 

“I need to shower,” she murmured, her eyes finally waking up as she stared at herself in the vanity mirror. Yeah, she needed to shower. She hadn’t slept for almost a day now. 

Daniel, who was already digging through their suitcases for nightwear, then agreed, “Yeah you do. I can smell you from here.” 

Her eyes zeroed in on his reflection once he returned. He stood there with their separated toiletries and a grin on his face. The glare that she held wasn’t holding any grudges, but rather annoyance. 

She just shook her head before sliding the glass door open. She stripped down her clothes and took off the hair tie that she wore, her eyes still glaring at her boyfriend as she entered the shower. Her hand twisted the faucet to the hottest water as the head began raining down the water on her body. She had already shut the door close, not even caring if Dan was still there with the most amused expression she had ever seen. 

The steam began to fill the bathroom, making it known to her that Daniel had shut the door. What she didn’t expect, however, was for him to slide the door open and place their shower necessities on the tray beside her. 

“Scooch over, please,” Daniel said in a singing tone, his request making her glare at her own boyfriend as he stepped inside the shower. The hot water hit the back of his neck as he hissed, “Ow! Jesus… Are you trying to get a third-degree burn, mate? We can go to Australia in the summer for that.”

“Whose decision is it to invade my space in front of the hot water?” Lester told him with a raised brow, “hardly my fault now, no?” 

He only rolled his eyes. Perhaps it’s a bad idea to annoy a girlfriend who only wishes to sleep. But he only wanted her to shower so she could relax and sleep. 

Obviously it was a good idea that he had her shower before she slept. She had been asleep since 9 PM. And it’s 5AM already. That shower must have been so relaxing. Especially with the hot water. 

Daniel needed to get up though. And as he tried to shake her off of him, she continued to grumble and cling to him like a koala. 

“If you move again, what would stop me from kicking you right in your crown jewels,” she murmured, her eyes still closed as she cuddled him. Daniel only sighed, rubbing her back with the arm her head was resting on. 

“Our goal to fulfill our desire to have a brood of Ricciardos,” he muttered.

Her eyes remained close, sighing peacefully as she spoke, “I don’t recall saying I want to carry your demons in disguise.”

“Nice to hear that you think of them as angels,” he chuckled quietly. “They’re going to be as wild as you, Mama. I can tell you that much.”

“Well, stop moving then maybe we can have lots of them soon enough,” Lester nuzzled her head closer to his chest. The foot that clung to Daniel’s hips neared his crotch, with her mindlessly feeling the fabric of whatever he was wearing. 

She hadn’t even meant to feel him up like that. She was just trying to enjoy her sleep. He was few steps away from touching himself.

Lester, still not caring about what she was doing, then joked, “Can you imagine running after a toddler with curls bouncing and you yelling, “Jolie, put your nappies on” and she just won’t rest?”

Daniel gulped unwittingly and nodded, “S- Jolie?”

“What? Jolie is a good name for girls,” she replied before saying, “Jolie Ayrton Ricciardo.” 

Daniel felt the goosebumps rising on his skin as he muttered, “Sounds- sounds good. O- or Beau Joseph Nikolaus Ricciardo.” Lester really needs to get her foot off my crotch before I could even bust.

She snorted, her eyes no longer closed as she stared at her boyfriend’s side frame, “Beau? How old would he be when he comes out of me?”

“Okay, but,” Daniel protested, “Beau Ric, F1 World Champion from Red Bull. Ladies’ man.” 

“With the initials B and J,” Lester joked, “and him getting the Charles Leclerc name treatment, too.”

Daniel groaned, “Alright, since you’re mocking my idea that means we can get up now. Right?”

“No, we can’t get up yet,” Lester scoffed out, keeping her arm on his chest as she kept going, “us giving our kid a name does not warrant you to get up and go.”

“I need to get up, doll,” he said as quietly as she did, “need to work out with Max and Lando.”

“No you don’t,” she answered, obviously no longer asleep. “Max can DIY and Lando can be fed with protein bars with no problem. That child can live off sugar, if he’s even allowed to.”

“We need breakfast,” he insisted, kissing her forehead. He wasn’t even moving too. 

“No we don’t,” Lester told him, her eyes closing again.

“Lorelei, are you not eati—“

“I’m trying to,” she interrupted him, “but I’m too lazy to get up. Soooo tired.”

“So am I,” he continued, “but we have to get up now, yes? I’ll pull the curtains up so we can have a good morning.”

Finally letting go of him, Lester slumped back down on the side of his bed as she grumbled sleepily. “Fucking athletes… so motivated to get up early to grind. The fuck are you grinding on anyways?” 

“You know what you were doing when you began to date a racing driver, babe,” Daniel chuckled somewhere in the background. He moved around and Lester could hear the blinds and curtains opening. 

With the sunlight entering the wide paneled windows, her eyes took in the light as she looked at her boyfriend with a bored look. “Oh, really? Clearly the champagne didn’t elaborate enough.” 

Daniel rolled his eyes before sitting back down on his side of the bed, dipping his head down to kiss her on the lips as he grinned, “Come on. Breakfast. I’ve to meet Max and Checo, too.” 

“Ugh Verstappen,” she groaned, making her boyfriend laugh as he began making his way to the bathroom. “That guy will be the death of me one of these days, you know that, love?” 

“I know,” he answered from the sink, “you’ve told me about it when we met in 2015.” 

“So annoying.” 

Her phone pinged, the screen brightening as she glanced down at it. Her brows knitted together in confusion. 

“I’ve got an unknown number texting me,” she heard a hum coming from Daniel as she peered over the message she received. 

She had been staring at her phone for a good minute as she wondered if she should text him any more. She was friendly with Toto Wolff. She remembered how she came across Tilly and Toto during the afterparty of 2015 Monza race. 

She didn’t mean to fangirl, truthfully, but the alluring features of the older woman had her gushing about the novel that she published in 2014. Tilly merely asked her to continue and discuss the subject until she was pulled away by Daniel Ricciardo, who didn’t even ask for her name yet had the audacity to invite her to dance. 

Lester didn’t meet Tilly again until 2021 at Monza. The second time they had a discussion, it was about the second book that Tilly had published about being single for a decade and other knickknacks she could think of. Tilly asked for her name this time and even exchanged numbers with Lester just in case the bassist didn’t mind coming over at their humble abode in Monaco. 

The massive difference between the two of them never really bothered them. Lester was 26 — Sylvie’s age — and Tilly was 38. Tilly had two children while Lester didn’t see herself having any children anytime soon. Tilly had money in her pocket and a hint of parental issues, while Lester came from a middle class family who valued family more than anything. They were extremely different, yet they remained friends. 

But still, Lester was quite hesitant about what she had agreed on. Even if she was good friends with his wife, Lester was still worried about making a wrong choice in front of Toto. 

But for him to ask if she can babysit their kids while they run amuck in the paddock? Yeah. She might as well sign her death certificate herself. She could set up her own funeral too, should she have enough time for it. 

“Bellezza?” She looked up to the direction of her lover, who was already dressed for his morning workout. “You okay?” 

“Yeah?” She tilted her head, wondering what prompted him to ask that. “I am.” 

“Do you know who texted you?” He asked, worried about what she might have read. The serious look on her face said something. But apparently it wasn’t that much of a deal. 

“Yeah, it’s just,” she paused for a moment before looking back at her screen. She needed to make sure she wasn’t having a dream or a nightmare. “It’s Toto. He’s landing soon.” 

“Oh? How did he get a hold on your number?” He asked, peering down and tying his shoelaces as he got ready. 

“About that,” she smiled grimly. “What do you think about taking Max’s seat for the rest of the season?” She could see disappointment written all over his face.

“What did the fool do now?” Daniel looked at her with a dull expression. 

“He’s responsible for giving Toto my number,” she replied, slipping out of the bed to stand. Her nightdress fell back into place as she pecked his lips, “Now I’m babysitting the Wolff kids this weekend.”

“Really?”

“Yup, and probably by the end of the weekend, you’re the newest Red Bull driver alongside Checo,” she finally walked off and prepared herself for the day.

“I’m leaving, babe,” he stated, “and while I appreciate the effort, please don’t kill Max. He’s still a friend.”

"But you need to get back on the track, mio tasso!"

"I am not doing that with blood on my hands, my love!"

[officerrrfriendly]

The Taken, 'All I Think About Now'

stranger things conjuringAU! priest!steve harrington x demonologist/clairvoyant!fem reader.

"And what did he say?" you poke nervously, leaning forward into your desk as you await a reply from the timid girl in front of you.

"Well he...uhh...okay so-agh," she groans, shaking her head before continuing "you're not gonna be pleased with me, well- you'll be pleased with me but not my answer to your current query-"

"Just spit it out, Robin." you shoot her a suspicious glare as you wait for her reply. She looks like she is about to explode into a poof of smoke, her face red and flustered with heat.

"He's on his way right now andhewouldn'tletmereplysoi-"

"WHAT?!" you would openly admit to anybody who asked that perhaps, at that moment- you had been unnecessarily loud and angry at poor, nervous Robin...who now stood frozen before you, eyes wide and fearful. She tries to ease your stress by joking "I would say April fools but you know boss, it's October!!...that and I'm not really kidding but- he's coming over because he's worried about you! isn't that sweet? yeah? that's...okay that's not- yeah that's clearly not helping you." she rambles, pacing back and forth around the room whilst you spin in your chair to look at yourself in the mirror behind you.

You almost gasped, an army of rollers currently situated themselves within your hair, a booger-green clay face mask piled thick onto your face and an ugly curtain-like patterned robe tied tightly around your waist, covering your person.

"Okay...this is-okay," you take deep, regulated breaths -just like your therapist had recommended - and turn to face your very apprehensive assistant once more, you question "Did he say when he was coming?"

DING-DONG!!

"About that..." Robin retorts, high-pitched as ever. She grimaces, bracing herself before you even respond.

"FUCK!!"

.•.•

You move at an inhuman speed as you scrub the clay mask off your face, not pausing to take any breaths. "Get off of my face, slimy bastard." you groan, using the flannel (or washcloth) to get the remaining contents off of your face, scrubbing with an endless amount of vigour.

Fortunately, it worked. You pat your face dry using the towel hanging on the rack beside you and quickly make work of removing the rollers sitting pretty in your hair. You knew you only had so much time to do so, as Robin could only distract him for so long. Ignoring the aching pain of ripping out the rollers from your head, you are onto the last one. This is the moment where you consciously decide that luck, is indeed not on your side today. It gets stuck, deeply embedded into the archives of your head. "Oh fuck!" you shout, slamming your hand on the bathroom sink.

The loud noise could be heard from the lower floor of the house, where Father Steve stood in the doorway whilst Robin rambled on about something he stopped paying attention to about ten minutes ago.

He immediately panics, as the loud shout is met with a deafening silence after. Politely moving himself past the dazed assistant in front of him he begins to run vigorously up the stairs without an ounce of hesitancy. He reaches the top of the stairs and calls out your name anxiously.

'Great, just fucking great' you mumble, tugging harder on the stubborn roller that sticks to your hair like it's superglued there. You sigh, deciding to not be a total asshole you reply, easing his concerns. "I'm fine Father Steve!! I'll be with you in a second."

.•.•

A short eternity later, you join Robin and Father Steve downstairs after successfully winning the fight against the tenacious nylon roller. And surprisingly, you didn't look like a total wreck...thank God. Now, you are sitting in your living room with Father Steve as you try to explain the situation at hand with the Byers family and how his assistance is required in this situation whilst Robin prepares some tea in the kitchen.

Notes of all different sizes and colours are scattered all over the wooden coffee table along with the polaroid of the young Byers child, smiling happily whilst holding a replica of a proton gun from Ghostbusters. The picture had been what had drawn you to take on the case in the first place. His smile held such child-like innocence, radiant joy...you felt anger in knowing that an evil entity had taken advantage of this blameless, pristine boy with a bright future ahead of him.

"I can see why this concerns you, I mean...this seems all too similar to...you know..." Father Steve mutters, hands clasped tightly together as he squeezes them, anxiously. And you did know, you knew all too well of what he was referring to. It had been all you'd thought about for months now, even heavier on your mind since visiting Maxine at the hospice. The sound of bones snapping, blood spewing, screams tearing through your earbuds and inhuman mumblings spoken from the tongue of the devil himself.

It makes you shiver in dread. You nod at Father Steve's implications before you return with "I'm going to visit Joyce, his mother, tomorrow to look at the house and possibly speak to Will. I need to gather some evidence to get permission from the Vatican for an exorcism...hence why I need your help. Please." You explain, tone rich in desperation as your sentence nears its end.

Your pleas don't fall on deaf ears - they never do when it comes to Father Steve - as he nods, lacking any form of reluctance. "Yes, of course. You don't even have to ask," he says your name softly before he proceeds further, "you know I'll come running whenever you call." As he speaks, he places one of his hands on top of yours- they're warm.

There's that funny feeling again. That one where your insides twist and slide about. It's sickeningly sweet, yet uneasy.

And before you can thank him, Robin waltzes in holding a fancily patterned tray you didn't even know you owned, holding three cups of perfectly made tea. You both quickly separate your hands from one another. "Who wants some tea, folks?" she asks in a fake British accent, raising her eyebrows up and down repeatedly with a smug smirk.

.•.•

July 4th 1983, The Hargrove Residence.

The wind swirls like a category 4 hurricane outside the diminutive white-painted house with the dull blue roof. Billy Hargrove groans deeply as he sits, tied to a wooden chair pulled straight out of the kitchen with some rope his father had lying around in the shed. His complexion was as pale as the porcelain vase stuffed with pink tulips that sat contently in the kitchen, blissfully ignorant of what was occurring in the next room.

Father Steve grips his bible like a vice, determined to exorcise the evil out of this boy. Lucas and Max are standing coyly behind you in the living room, holding hands. Billy's father Neil, furrows his brows, apprehensive of what's to come with Max's mother, Susan on his arm- shaking. And you...you are standing your ground.

A bead of sweat trails off of his forehead and falls onto the top of his thigh- staining his tight jeans with a circular wet dot. The inhuman-looking black veins in his arms grew darker- if that was even possible and he cried out, "Untie me fuckers!! fucking untie me now!!"

You sigh in frustration and walk over to the heater on Billy's right, dialling up the heat...but not without wincing before doing so. "Aaghhh! You fucking bitch!" and as he screamed, you could hear more than one voice spit those venomous words at you. The floor began to shake, like that of an earthquake- but you keep your composure. Father Steve goes to step forward with his bible- but you get to Billy first.

"No, you listen you son of a bitch!" you began to speak, leaning down in front of the taken one who sits before you, now face to face. "You are going to free this boy of your evil! Whether you like it or not, with the power of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit I condemn you from carrying out your devious intentions!" you spit out, with just as much venom in your tone and as soon as you uttered those very words he began to cry in agony.

This time, he doesn't look at you- he looks at someone behind you with pleading eyes. "Max, please!! You have to help me, you have to believe me, Max!!" he cries, his bottom lip violently wobbling with 'sadness' but in his eyes held no tears. Lucas steps in front of her, protectively, glaring at the boy bound to the chair in front of him.

You glance back at Max briefly, shaking your head "Don't believe a word he says, Maxine!" you warn. She gets up from her original position- leaning against the wall - Lucas grabs her arm softly, and she gives him a look of reassurance before mouthing 'It's okay.' She begins to walk in your direction. And for a moment, you think she's going to untie him...but she doesn't.

Instead, she moves the other heater and dials it up all.the.way. She looks at you and nods with sincerity- drowning out 'Billy's' cries of pain before moving her left hand to her forehead, swiping off a trail of sweat that began to moisten the top of her forehead.

The shaking of the floor intensified and items on shelves around the living room began to fall and shatter on the ground. You look to Father Steve and he nods his head, flicking to a certain page in the bible and you grip the bottle of blessed holy water that sits in the crevice of your cardigan pocket, itching to be opened.

But before you can act something unexpected occurs. Something sinister...the beginning of the end. Max is suddenly thrown to the other side of the room, her back hitting the wall on Billy's right. Susan screams and goes to run to her daughter's aid but Neil grabs her by the waist, stopping her. You're frozen in time and apparently so is Father Steve but not Lucas.

Lucas sprints to the other side of the room where Max was tossed and gets about halfway before an unknown force suddenly pulls him back. "No! Max, no!! Let her go, you asshole!" he roars in fury, storming over to the chair-bound devil. Father Steve holds an arm out to stop Lucas before he begins to read out of the bible. Max slowly finds her footing, standing up.

"I command you, unclean spirit, whoever you are, along with all of your minions now attacking this servant of God, by the mysteries of the incarnation, passion, resurrection, and ascension of our Lord Jesus Christ, by the descent of the Holy Spirit, by the coming of our Lord for judgement, that you tell by some sign your name and the day and hour of your departure. I command you, moreover, to obey me to the letter, I who am a minister of God despite my unworthiness; nor shall you be emboldened to harm any way this creature of God, or the bystanders, or any of their-" Steve stopped reading when he saw the horrified, pale look on your face. He turns to look at what you're seeing.

Max is floating in the air.

Susan becomes scared and tells Father Steve, "Please stop this!! I can't lose my baby!! Please!" she kicks and cries.

You utter to Steve, "Carry on, we have to get this out of him." as you pull out the much-awaited bottle of holy water, popping open the corked lid and begin splashing some at Billy. The floor began to violently shake and objects began to fly around the room, the wind picked up even heavier outside.

"-Possessions...they shall lay their..."

A blood-curdling scream rips through the entire home before a thud shakes the floor. When you look back at Max you gasp, feeling all of the breath fall out of your lungs. You run over the frail, weak girl and scrape her into your arms.

You look at her face, it's not a pretty sight to see.

One of her eyes had been gauged out, a stream of blood pouring out, whilst the other eye bears a long diagonal slash across it, the cut deep. She cries, "help me...please help me."

"It's going to be okay, honey...It's going to be okay I promise you that. Lucas!" you comfort, before calling to her boyfriend who you realise was right behind you this entire time. He shared the same look of utter, and sheer terror with you. You get up and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Stay with her, okay? Stay." you give him a look of sincerity before handing him the bottle of holy water. "Protect yourselves."

The lights began to flicker in the living room. The shaking of the floor is so intense that it makes you feel sick to your stomach- but you know that that isn't the only reason.

Steve sighs in apprehension before he continues with the prayer- this time he speaks it with more fire in his tone, and determination.

"And by the power of God, I condemn you back to Hell!!" he demands with a furious yell. Just as he nears the end of his sentence, the old clock in the hallway outside the living room chimed four times.

The lights go out completely for a moment, but the physical darkness of the room was shortlived as the lights jumped back on.

Billy Hargrove lay limply in the wooden chair, lifeless.

His head hung low and his eyes, nose and mouth poured with blood. His throat had been slit.

So.much.blood.

.•.•

You hadn't realised you had been daydreaming until you clock that a finger is mere centimetres away from your face, snapping constantly. "Oh, there she is!! She's back. Hi!! we missed you...you haven't touched your tea yet, Psychic Sally." It's Robin, her tone burns with amusement but her gaze is full of concern.

You manage a dry laugh, shaking your head. Before picking up the cup of tea and bringing it to your lips, taking a sip.

"Sorry...sorry yes- yeah just got distracted, s'all." you lie, placing the cup down onto your favourite 'The Beatles' coaster. And if there was one thing about the people who had spent enough time around you to actually know you, it was that they knew when you were lying.

He knew.

He would ask you about it later, he had decided. But as of right now, he would remain professional. Right now, he was Father Steve- but after you've discussed tomorrow's plans...he would just be Steve.

A 'friend.'

"So...let's make a plan then, I thought it oughta be best to be more prepared this time because- well you know..." you suggest, face scrunching up in frustration at your inability to even utter words about that night. Father Steve nods knowingly, before smiling at you with reassurance. You glance back at him and realise that this is the first time in a while, that you have been able to properly look at him.

That dirty blondish-brown hair of his was styled perfectly into a short mullet, it was longer than it was the last time you had gawked at it- more unkempt. And even though it was fall, he still had that sunkissed glow on his skin like aphrodite had kissed it herself, and that smile- that goddamn smile. Pardon your French, sorry God.

Robins looks between the two of you as she takes a gulp of her tea, hiding her smirk in the crevice of the cup. She will heavily quiz you on this later. Why hadn't you both talked sooner?

The phone in the hallway began to blare out receptive 'brrrlliingggg's and Robin sighed, getting up from her spot on the couch before she turned to you both. "I'll be back, lovebirds."

You huff, trying to avoid the heat you feel travelling towards your face. He does the same, chuckling lightheartedly. You missed that sound, you didn't get to hear it a lot.

It was admittedly, very nice to hear, the nicest.

Whilst the two of you began to arrange meeting times for the morning, Robin made it to the kitchen to answer the phone.

"Hello?" Robin answers, twirling the wire of the landline around her finger whilst she anticipates an answer.

"Oh...um...hey, I think I may have the wrong number- I'm looking for," she says your name, nervously, and there's a silence after that ensues for only a short period before Robin intervenes. "Oh! no not at all, she's just in the living room...hold on," she covers the phone with her hand and shouts your name followed with "phone!"

To which you excuse yourself from Father Steve, who is sitting looking through the file you had written earlier that night regarding the Byers' case.

You arrive at the kitchen and thank your lovely, yet sometimes painfully annoying assistant as she hands you the phone and you say, "-Hey there, who's calling?" whilst propping yourself up against the kitchen counter.

"It's Max, we need to talk...like- right now." She quietly whispers, sighing. You stop leaning up against the counter and stand up, concerned. "Yeah yeah, what's...what's up?" you ask, unsure of what her answer will be.

"I had to whisper for a moment, sorry. My carer was just here- she helped me dial- doesn't matter...But it's happening again...isn't it?" Her voice wavered with fear, and full of solemn dread you muster up a reply.

"How do you know that, Maxine? How do you...?" you blurt out with a mixture of confusion and fear coursing through your veins. You hear her sigh on the other end of the phone before she shuffles around in what you assume is her armchair.

"How many times do I have to tell you, it's Max," she jokes, trying to diffuse the tense atmosphere. You sigh, not in a joking mood when it comes to her safety and involvement in the situation at hand.

She huffs... before she speaks again.

"Joyce Byers called me today."

.•.•

HEY!! sorry for the delay in posting this chapter, had a super stressful and jam-packed week!! but things should be back on schedule now! thank you all so much for the support and thank you to @stveharringtn for being there for me so much!!

taglist: @stveharringtn, @be-the-spark-bitch, @ravenhellfire86 , @kitdjarin1 , @sage-glowstick

let me know if you would like to be added!! i’m posting some extra bits today, like pictures of readers house, pictures of maxine’s home at the hospice, etc!!

[a-forbidden-detective]

The RKDD social media staff prepared an April Fool’s Day audio skit today.

There’s only one explanation Ron can come up immediately to Toto. Toto is in Ron’s apartment because he lives there now. They are sleeping together. Ron is a bit upset and feeling silly that Toto has left the bed that Ron has decided he must have grown a platypus beak!!! Besides, today is April Fool’s Day! <<— Semi-joking there because this is what/how the skit feels like.

Ron: (running to Toto anxiously) This is tough. Take a look, Toto! When I woke up, I grew a beak! Damn it! I can’t get it off! Quack!!

Toto (not falling for Ron’s antics again) You're disguised again anyway, right? Moreover, it's April Fool's Day today. You are trying to deceive me. It's so easy. (Takes a look at Ron’s beak and tries to help his friend anyway) Is… that.. a real beak? I can’t get it off!

Ron: Don't you know that starting from this year, April Fool's Day is… It doesn’t exist.

Toto: W-what ?? (Bamboozled) For real?!

Ron: It’s a lie.

Toto: Agh, you! I was fooled! (Probably uttered a bit theatrical)

Ron : By the way, the beak is also a lie. Look, with a glue... Uhm… Uhh… This is bad. I really couldn't get it off!

Toto: (Trying hard not to fall for it again) Isn't that also a lie?

Ron: This is true... Please, Toto, help me.

Toto: You’re so troublesome!!

(Yes, Ron is Toto’s troublesome boy!)

I don’t know who has written all their skits but they are so funny and cute and silly and I love, love, love that the voice actors * are willing to act them out. Doesn’t matter if it is for the sake of promotion or not.

* Youhei Azakami’s vox for Ron sounds like a college boy charmeur, whereas Enojun’s Toto tends to be young-ish. He feels a bit of exasperated toward his friend, but loves him anyway.

[the-light-finds-its-way]

Every year on April Fools, Cayde has played some sort of prank on Magnus. It's completely unexpected every time. It always catches the Titan off guard and is harmless completely, but it's time for payback. Absolutely.

So this April Fools, Magnus sets a trap SUPER devious, for his husband, as revenge.

Cayde visits the Tower to go to his Vanguard post. But as soon as he arrives, he finds dozens of Guardians riding various sparrows around in a circle while... is that It's a Small World being sung by every Guardian all at once offkey?!

Cayde cautiously makes his way to Zavala and asks what's going on.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Why do you ask?" Zavala replies.

"Uhh. The Guardians. Singing. Riding sparrows."

"Huh? What Guardians?" Zavala looks around questioningly.

Cayde throws his hands toward the circle of singing Guardians. "RIGHT THERE, ZAVALA!! THEY'RE PRACTICALLY IN FRONT OF YOU!! THEY'RE SINGING IT'S A SMALL WORLD!!"

Zavala frowns, crossing his arms. "I neither see nor hear anyone besides you screaming at me."

Cayde almost explodes at this. He storms off to find Ikora, and forcefully drags her to the main portion of the Tower. "THEY'RE HERE!! CAN'T YOU SEE THEM?! HEAR THEIR AWFUL SINGING??!!" he cries.

Ikora sighs. "Cayde. Stop playing games. Get back to work. Nobody is there."

Cayde is so angry at this point. He rushes home to Magnus, and grabs him by the arm as best as he can grab a giant beefy Titan by the arm. "Please!! Honey!! You have to believe me!! They were singing!! Riding sparrows in a circle!!"

Reluctantly, Magnus goes along with his husband to the Tower. And the Guardians are still riding around singing offkey.

"PLEASE TELL ME YOU SEE THEM!!!" Cayde begs.

But Magnus shakes his head. "Is this another one of your April Fools day pranks?" he asks. "Because if it is, it's your worst yet." Magnus turns away and walks off.

The ceaseless circle of singing Guardians still continues. And Cayde goes to everyone in the Tower asking if they can see or hear this at all. A Cabal looks angrily at him at one point, then does the big stomp and sends him flying. Eliksni chitter and scuttle away from Cayde as soon as he asks the bizarre question. Everyone denies confirmation that this circle of Guardians is there. Nobody can see or hear them besides Cayde. But nonetheless the Guardians continue riding and singing all day long. Nonstop.

That night, the Exo returns home and flops face first into the sofa, groaning loudly.

Magnus approaches. "What's wrong, babe?"

"Nobody. Not one person believes me when I ask if they see or hear them..."

"Maybe it'll be gone tomorrow. Maybe things will return to normal by then."

Cayde groans even louder. "I hate this!! On my favorite day of the year!!!"

"Your favorite? Why? What's so special about today?" Magnus asks.

"It's April Fools. I should've spent the day playing a prank on you. But it feels like the universe is playing pranks on me. All my efforts coming back like a sick joke torturing me endlessly."

And there, Magnus grins wide.

Cayde looks at him. "Wh... what? What're you doing?"

Magnus giggles uncontrollably.

Cayde's eyes widen. "NO!! NO WAY!! YOU DIDN'T-"

"APRIL FUCKING FOOLS IDIOT!!" Magnus bursts out in complete laughter and doubles over, unable to contain himself any longer.

Cayde tackles him to the floor and is BEAMING with frustration.

Magnus smiles and lifts his head up, then kisses his husband. "Hope I did a good job. I was afraid I'd never outdo your legacy, or even reach it. But hey. It was my first prank ever. I love you."

"You outdid me by light-years," Cayde tells him. "I'm so proud of you!!!"

[digenerate-trash]

April fools anon here sorry if I haven’t said anything (been busy with work) anyways

let’s move onto the non DoL off topics (maybe a little bit of DoL and DOB)

So DoB bailey will be the opposite tbh probably be a mix between normal bailey and regular yandere bailey he “hates” you but also wants to protect you in a way and if PC is pregnant he can’t even hold his excitement and tries his best to act like he wants to do an abortion to PC but when he remembers that he will need to take PC to Harper he just breaks character and refuses to do the joke ever again.

Avery won’t care he doesn’t give a fuck about the whole town being “normal” he just wants PC to stay inside his mansion and never leave nothing special.

Normal DoB (no Yan let’s go)

So I feel like DoB bailey can’t last a week without human meat as he needs it forced to eat regular food instead of the perfect meal of organs and freshly butchered humans he ends up going in a rampage or something idk.

Morgan

Murdered never again NEVER AGAIN I SWEAR

Stardew valley

So uhh… everyone loses just becomes one big cat and dog fight over the farmer

Yan Dob Bailey would be pretty normal. But if you're pregnant your 100% right. He's not holding it together well. The joke lasts about an hour. You mention getting rid of the kid once and he's picking you up and dragging you back to his room. He can't handle even the idea of you not being his family. He squeezes the air out of you for the rest of the day. Clingy fucker.

And you know what- dob Harper is absolutely game to fuck with you. Gonna hide his yan tendencies for a bit. Going to be the perfect doctor for you. Gaslight the fuck outta you. And when you still insist that he's acting wrong he sends you to the asylum ward to keep you. He's the only one that takes the joke too far. Going past April Fools.

For normal dob Bailey, I think his diet of human meat is born out of necessity but now it sustains him. Regular food is just kinda... blah. It's like drinking Diet Coke for so long that normal Coke is weird now. Too sugary. I think he won't be able to last either.

Avery. Stingy fucker. He's the one who encouraged the joke. Everyone puts their instincts aside for a day and tries and convince you they are normal. Even putting up a cash prize for the one who lasts the longest. It's chump change to him but it's enough to make Bailey and Briar scramble. Only to then kidnap you for the entire day and keep you trapped with him. He has no intentions of playing. He doesn't care who wins. He just wants you to feel neglected enough to finally give in to him.

Morgan is dead ✨️👋😄👋✨️

I feel like the Stardew singles would have tried to set up an April Fools thing. But yeah It's a big fight. And since usually they act so normal around the other towns folk everyone is a little weirded out while you go about your daily business un-accosted for once while the unruly hot singles in the area are hurling insults and fighting each other in the streets 

[self-spaghettification]

ok i happen to have been working on a rayllum + aaravos fic so hejwherw do i take the joke far enough that i post part of it today or do i wait till it's finished LMAOO

ok well anyway here it is

Chapters: 1/?

Fandom: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Callum/Rayla (The Dragon Prince)

Characters: Callum (The Dragon Prince), Rayla (The Dragon Prince)

Additional Tags: The Dragon Prince Season 6 Speculation

Summary:

lol this was going to be longer but uhh the bit for april fools so the rest is coming later

—

They had been 7 days away from the starscraper when they ran into the dragon.

[bentosandbox]

hoshi headcannons GIMMIE [pwease im starving]

woah how did you know i had some (more) bubbling in my head recently after reading the mh collab (not that she appears in it :( but…yato does) also perfect timing since hoshi module Y is about to drop just dropped on EN

read it NOW!!!!

ok so . shes basically like an old salaryman to me just look at that bow (salute emoji) and with all the salarymen traits that come with that like terrible work life balance(well they are all office workers so. all have this but shes like, THE salaryman you know) nomikai addict (kind of real) and a super yes-man except..nobody dares to even make her do something she wouldn't do herself, and not out of fear(well maybe a little for some) but out of respect (probably saved every officer at least once), and being a senior (since she's been with the lgd since day 0) she could technically treat people like they're beneath her (true) but instead she goes super formal-mode the gapmoe(?) is so endearing its like . suddenly thought of the mc from vinland saga whos like ^_^ im so harmless i wont harm anyone (havent not caught up with it for very long though idk if it's still like that)

she likes to (Module X spoilers I guess) idk roleplay being a pushover??? in that story she tl;dr comes to the rescue of a colleague who is like 'ty oni-sis but you should just leave me here 🥹 and she's like (tanks like a champ getting her ID card cracked in the process module.jpg) and goes 'haha sorry that request is a bit too hard why not i uhh help you apply for a bonus instead' it was here i was like ok hoshichen (in that order) is dead to me she would never yaoitop chen !!!!!!!!!!!!!! basically could be left.jpg but is right.png most of the time

she's old… but how old?? I guess touhou type of old…? the other two are like kids to her at times, maybe sometimes she does an old man act to get them to stop quarrelling like sitting at the window and with a coffee and reading something and telling them 'ok im just going to sit here until you two sort it out ok take your time' (they instantly stop)

her and chen: i think i mentioned this somewhere before but chen = wuxia protag hoshi = her mentor (in some capacities since technically wei was her [absent] mentor) she has all the qualities you would want except like in standard mentor fashion, a little conservative (i really do like this…flaw? because to be content with how the LGD operates, it makes you wonder how things were like before…)

her and swire… i like to think sometimes swire brings That Day up and hoshi is just ^_^ i see! and then after chen is gone maybe swire has some difficulty cleaning up the mess and at times takes out the badge to have a 'what would mysterious officer x do' moment and one time hoshi catches her doing that and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh omg forgot what i wanted to write here

her and lin: man…………….they didn't seem that hot in ch7 but man the potential interactions of an ex-underworld lackey and current underworld heir where is my food hg where are the ingredients i will cook the food myself but i need the ingredients to start with that one interaction was not enough

(quick spoiler warning for monhun collab) basically only the el gatos and rathalos got isekaid so the village is all higashinese and not like a MH village so you get sprinkles of higashi lore

i bring monhun collab up because yato and noir used to be an assassins but they quit da life and yato mentions 'killing your own kind', talks about her last hit she flaked out on but that that another assassin simply killed the mother and daughter duo she was supposed to kill so i was like damn what if hoshiguma also…?? (they are all oni and we all know she's ex-yakuza) or what if… she was the one that had to do yato's job, the hoshi/yato yaoi would be UNREAL but i dont think HG has the guts

also she and yato are ace because uhhhhhh i said so my rhodes my rules no joke i had wanted to do a hoshiguma dating sim for this year's april fools (with a bunch of other ops too but she would be the 'main' route even though there's no 'good' end) but then uhhh time issue anyway don't forget to set the LGD trio's voices to cantonese

[chubbletea]

made our cuphead server will wood themed for april fools and now "will wood day" is gonna become a permanent inside joke

so uhh. happy will wood day everyone

[maguro13-2]

Murder of Sonic The Hedgehog Explained

Ichiban : I cannot believe you pranked us to think you were murdered. We worried for a Danganronpa-like mystery novel game but then you entirely played a prank to all fans around the world! We’re you even thinking we the guys of Sega are sick and tired of April Fools jokes? All our companies do is to make simple pranks. One time they made Yakuza 7 a game that was originally an April fools joke, the joke that started the real game Yakuza 7.

Sonic : Oh yeah, I was going to tell you that the Murder of me is actually an April Fools Joke. We been planning to do an April fools joke on a mystery train and therefore there was no murder of me and I wanted to apologize for pranking the fans.

Ichiban : Oh really?

Sonic : (takes a pill to put it in his mouth, and then drinks some water to swallow) Funny thing is, I don’t do April fools pranks! I always hated April fools. That’s the reason of Sega isn’t going to make another gaming prank of a murder mystery about me anymore.

Ichiban : Are you swallowing a pill to get those migraines out of you?

Sonic : What do you expect? If there wasn't really a murder of me, I would be explained to tell that if I was really dead and went to heaven or in hell for kissing a character that isn't animal.

Ichiban : Uhh, Mr Sonic. Those aren't your meds...

Sonic : What? (Looks at a bottle of Cyanide pills) Somebody changed my pills! (Before dying) Son of a b*tch, Sega! (Collapses and dies)

Silver : Ahh, sh*t! Not again!

[scene flips]

Tails : Okay, I get it. So the Murder of Sonic the hedgehog was actually a simple April fools prank by Sega all along. and this for all the thanks for getting that April fools prank.

Mecha Sonic : None of this would happen if that Mephiles guy killed him in the first place! No wonder why any sonic villain would want to murder him and get away with that.

Barry the Protagonist : Who?

Mecha Sonic : You know, the recolored Shadow guy, who manipulated Silver into killing him, brought devastation to the release of Iblis, burned down an entire city, the guy's a freakin' maniac!

Tails : Ohhh...and what are we doing exactly?

Knuckles : We're doing a reenactment of the infamous Sonic 06 scene, where sonic is about to resurrect with the help of princess who is about to do...Uhh, what's that I'm looking for?

Tails : The kiss.

Knuckles : Oh, right! The kiss. The human on furry kiss! This is the scene where sonic is getting kisses from a human! It's a gosh dang disgrace!

Shadow : Who even writes this stuff?

[Shows Elise, who is about to revive Sonic by kissing him in the mouth]

Sonic : It worked! I'm alive! I've been kissed again by--

[record Scratch]

Sonic : Yeah, huh? (It is revealed that the person who revived him with a kiss was nothing more than Miku herself) Miku, what are you doing here? And why did you kiss me on the mouth?

Miku : I'll tell you why, some jerkbutt managed to pranked you of being murdered by allowing you to swallow some cyanide pills into thinking someone murdered you on a mystery train.

Sonic : Whaaaat??!? [gets angry, yelling] SONIC.EXE!!!

[Sonic and the gang runs up to Sonic.EXE, angry]

Sonic : You! You told us that Eggman was the culprit and I was dead! How can you tell me that the murder of me was just a prank to kill us all with Cyanide Pills!?

Eggman : What is the meaning of this April fools joke of yours?! You made us look like imbeciles!

Sonic EXE : Not to worry, guys. You'll be happy to get your own Cyanide Pills while eggman gets his pills last. [Pills last is repeated three times deeper]

[Sonic Becomes shocked with Eggman's Theme music playing as voices are heard, he suddenly imagines himself at a table with a Koco at the seat across from him]

Sonic : Yes, Mr. Koco. I would love another spot of tea for myself. [Holds up the pizza casserole] Care for some Pizza casserole? [Crazed laughter. Camera zooms in on his pupil, and the scene cuts back to real life]

Amy : Sonic? You okay there, buddy? [Sonic is dazed and then faints] [yelling] Sonic! [The imaginary scenario ends with Eggman in real life]

Eggman : [talking to Sage] And that's why the murder of Sonic is the best April Fools Story, ever.

Rouge : That was a certainly nice story that you told us, [freaks out] RIGHT AFTER SONIC.EXE HAS RULED THE ENTIRE WORLD AS THE OVERLORD!

[Camera zooms out to show the group are being crucified in the bad future, while Sonic.EXE is shown sitting on a throne wearing a crown and cape and laughs evilly]

Eggman : Well, it was worth an April fool's story to tell you about it.

Metal Sonic : Being Overlord was my thing.

Shadow : [to Eggman] April Fools...Jerk.

Sonic : Well, at least I may not be murdered with crime, but at least it was a decent prank for having Sega getting involved with the April Fool's jokes.

Miku : Agree.

Sage : If there was only a way to help us with hope, we might get out of this.

Chris Thorndyke [O.S] : Don't worry, guys! I am here!

Tails : Hooray! Chris is here and he's about to--(Chris gets killed, offscreen) Aw, they killed him.

Sonic : Happy April fool's day, everyone!

[The Words "HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY" is written in blood]

[retrochords]

the humans called today an..April Fools Day?

this is from research, btw, so..uh..

basically uhh. today was a day full of pranks and japes and jokes and wacky shizz like that.

so uhh

yeah

Happy April Fools Day? I guess?