#this was supposed to be part of a larger story but ive decided i hate it and its not worth it

[camelot-queen]

At every occasion, I’ll be ready for the funeral

A post-Endgame fic

After the funeral, Peter is introduced to Morgan.

Pepper walks her up to him, she’s holding her hand and the little girl shyly approaches him. She looks like she’s trying to hide behind her mother but Pepper keeps a firm yet gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Morgan, this is Peter,” she says sweetly. “Can you say hi?”

“Hi Peter,” Morgan says, swaying slightly.

Despite everything, Peter smiles. He’s been told that five years have passed, even though it doesn’t feel like it for him. But he’s glad Tony got a chance at a happy ending before it all came crashing down.

Was it worth it?

“Hi Morgan,” Peter crouches down to her level. “It’s nice to meet you.”

And it really is. Mr. Stark’s kid… he had a kid. He got married. Peter’s happy, he really is. But it stings that he missed it all, while he was… he was…

“Daddy told me about you,” Morgan says, unprompted. Peter blinks in surprise.

“Uhhh… he did?”

Morgan nods. “Mmhm, he told me stories about you. Can you really hang from the ceiling?”

“I, uhhhh…” he looks up to Pepper for help, but she just smiles and nods. “Uh, yeah, I can.”

Morgan beams. “Can you teach me how to do that?”

He laughs. Pepper laughs. It’s the first time he’s felt any semblance of joy since…

“Sorry, Morg, I don’t think that’s something that can be taught,” Pepper breaks it to her. “Peter is just lucky.”

But is he lucky? He doesn’t feel lucky.

Morgan pouts, and he keeps smiling but it feels more forced.

—

He feels a little like a spectator, like he’s not allowed to be here. All these people spent the past five years with Tony. They know what he’s been through. They were there for his wedding, for the birth of his daughter. Peter feels like an old acquaintance who has never been there for him and has the gall to show up to his private funeral and call himself a friend.

Everyone keeps telling him he belongs here. They tell him how much he meant to Tony, how much he missed him. Pepper tells him that he’s the reason Tony kept fighting. It doesn’t make him feel better though, it only makes a pit form in his stomach.

Do they blame him?

He’s surprised when he sees a boy around his age at the funeral. He doesn’t recognize him—he’s tall, blonde, and no one else seems to be surprised to see him there. He generally keeps his distance, not too interested in socializing, until Pepper grabs him by the hand and pulls him over.

“Peter, I’d like you to meet Harley,” she says, dragging him closer. “Tony met him a long time ago and he always made sure to check in on him from time to time. I’m sure he would have loved you two to meet.”

Peter can’t quite contain the shock on his face. There was another kid he was mentoring? Or, no… just keeping in touch with. How had they met exactly? Why did Tony never tell him? Peter tries not to let the jealousy brew. It doesn’t matter now.

“Hey,” Harley says cooly, hands in his pockets and slouched, looking out-of-place in a suit.

“Um, hi,” Peter responds, his awkwardness a contrast to Harley’s confidence. “I-I’m Peter. Or… Pepper already told you that…”

Harley smiles, a small smile that Peter can’t read. “So you’re the guy that Tony kept telling me about? The kid genius?”

“Oh, I’m not…” Peter stutters over his words.

“I vanished too,” Harley continues, ignoring Peter’s bumbling. “I come back, and suddenly it’s five years later. My little sister is older than me now… so that’s weird. And Iron Man is dead.”

Peter winces at the bluntness of his words.

“The world has gone to shit,” Harley goes on. “I thought aliens in New York was weird, but this is… a new level. My mom and sister keep crying over me, but last thing I remember is yelling at my sister for going through my stuff. And then I was asked to come to Iron Man’s funeral… I always wanted to meet the rest of the Avengers, but not really like this.”

Peter lowers his eyes. He understands Harley to some extent, he missed the last five years too. But the one person who was around to mourn him is dead. Both his aunt and his best friend were also dusted, and they’re all he has left…

“How did you meet Tony?” Harley asks, and Peter’s head whips up. It’s an innocent question, but a complex lie.

“I, uh, uh…” Peter stumbles, much like he has this whole conversation. “The September Foundation. I applied. He hired me. I’m… I was… an intern.”

Harley narrows his eyes. “Tony worked directly with interns?”

“Special project,” Peter squeaks, trying to remember what he was told to regurgitate when people asked.

“That reminds me,” Pepper pipes up, saving Peter from further questioning. “I have something for you.”

She runs back into the house, leaving Peter and Harley alone for a minute. When she comes back, she’s holding a frame.

“I think he would want you to have this,” she explains, handing it over to him.

Peter takes it questioningly, but when he looks at it, his eyes burn. It’s one of the photos they took when Tony swore up and down that Peter deserved some recognition, despite not really doing much in his “internship” rather than messing around with his web shooters. They had taken a normal photo, which they sent to the papers, and then a “silly” one at Tony’s request. He had no idea Tony had framed it.

Without even realizing it, Peter starts crying. Tears plop onto the glass of the frame and his vision blurs.

“Oh, sweetie,” Pepper rubs his shoulder. “He cared about you so much. He never stopped thinking about you.”

He knows it’s supposed to make him feel better, but it doesn’t. His face burns from crying in from of Pepper and a complete stranger, so he tries to excuse himself. They seem hesitant to let him go, but when Pepper tries to pull him into a hug he flinches away. She backs off and he feels bad, but not bad enough to stay. He retreats and finds himself in the back of the house, where no one else is, and crouches on the ground, curling around the picture. There, he lets himself release the pent up sobs he had been trying to stifle.

It’s already been three days since the battle, and the numbing pain hasn’t subsided at all. It’s only gotten worse, the more it’s sunk in. Tony Stark is dead and he’s not coming back. The world went on for five years without him, and now he’s back and it’s in chaos. He died in Tony’s arms, then he watched Tony die. There are so many things he can’t reconcile with right now, and he’s not sure he ever will.

“You alright, kid?”

Peter jumps so fast that he almost falls over. But he catches himself last minute and stares wide-eyed at his unknown company. Happy is standing there, looking awkward.

“Well, I guess you’re not alright, that’s a dumb question,” he says after a while when Peter doesn’t respond.

“What are you doing here?” Peter says in a rush, embarrassed that he was caught crying.

“Well, I was about to make Morgan a cheeseburger,” Happy explains, looking more and more awkward by the second. “And I figured I should ask you if you wanted one too. But I couldn’t find you, so I was wandering around the house and then I heard crying…”

“Oh,” Peter kind of wishes he could be anywhere but here right now.

“Yeah,” Happy agrees. “But now I feel like you probably don’t want a cheeseburger, and it probably would have been better if I just left you alone.”

“No,” Peter wipes his face as best as he can. “A cheeseburger sounds great, actually.”

He follows Happy back into the house, trying as hard as he can to make it look like he wasn’t just crying his eyes out in the back of the house a moment ago. However, as soon as he enters the kitchen, May is right there and embracing him in a hug.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, baby,” she says soothingly, rubbing his back.

“I’m fine,” he mumbles, even though he’s clearly not.

Morgan sits at the table, kicking her feet, and Happy grills some burgers. Peter goes to sit at the table with Morgan and May goes to talk to Happy.

Peter looks out the window. People are still offering Pepper their condolences. He wants to offer his own, but he’s scared. He looks around. Everywhere in the house has memories of Tony. Pictures of the family he created while Peter was gone, forgotten wrenches and pieces of machinery laying around, projects he’ll never finish.

He tears his eyes away and stares down at the table. He can’t think about it. His heart aches. Suddenly, he feels a hand land on his… he looks up and Morgan is leaning across the table, smiling.

“Don’t be sad,” she says innocently. “It’s okay.”

Peter is stunned. How is this little girl more composed than he is? But then again, he thinks, she has the combined strength of Tony and Pepper… of course she’s doing better. Peter hasn’t even seen Pepper cry since that first time.

“I’m okay,” Peter says automatically, not wanting to be comforted by a child. “How are you feeling?”

“I miss daddy,” Morgan responds, and her lip trembles. “Mama said he saved the universe and now he’s not here anymore. That’s why there’s more people now.”

That’s right. Peter realizes that Morgan was born into a half populated world. She wasn’t even alive during the snap, the aftermath was all she’s ever known.

“Your dad is the best superhero ever,” Peter’s voice cracks. “Just… the best.”

“That’s what he used to say about you.”

That’s all it takes. The dam bursts and Peter is crying again. He laughs at the same time, both overjoyed and devastated. His emotions well and slosh into each other, combining until he doesn’t know how he feels. Morgan looks taken aback.

“No, don’t cry,” she pets his head gently, which just makes him laugh-cry more. “I’m sorry.”

May and Happy are interrupted from their conversation, which seemed to involve a lot of giggling, when Peter embarrassingly lets out some whimpering sounds.

“Sweetie,” May comes over to pull him out of his chair. “Do you want to go to the bathroom for a minute?”

She doesn’t wait for him to respond, just walks him straight down the hall and into the bathroom. She closes the door and locks it. Peter is standing in the middle of the alarmingly large room awkwardly blubbering. May gives him a pitying face and then bunches up some toilet paper.

“Shh,” she soothes, blotting his eyes uselessly, as more tears just well up.

Peter clenches and unclenches his fists over and over again. He’s reminded of when Ben died and he was throwing up in the bathroom, covered in blood, while May rubbed his back. She must have been in such pain too, but she made sure to comfort him first.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpers. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” May says softly. “You did nothing wrong. You’re hurt, just let it all out.”

“I don’t know what to do,” he admits brokenly. “What am I gonna do? Why does everyone leave?”

May pushes his head into the crook of her shoulder. He cries openly and she continues to make shushing noises and rock them both.

“It hurts, but you’ll get through this,” she whispers. “Not today, not tomorrow, but someday you’ll feel okay again. He’ll never be forgotten, but his memory won’t hurt so bad. And just know that he died a hero… because of him, we’re here. You’re here. I’m so grateful for that.”

Peter tightens his grip around her waist. They stay like that until they hear a knock at the door.

“Are you guys alright?” he hears Happy’s voice.

May pulls away to open the door. Happy is standing there looking sheepish.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he says. “Cheeseburgers are ready.”

“Thanks, Happy,” May smiles. “We might need a second.”

“Of course,” Happy looks past her to make eye contact with Peter. “Hanging in there, kid?”

Peter knows he looks like a mess. His eyes are red, his hair has become unstyled from running his fingers through it repeatedly, his skin is blotchy. But he nods anyways.

Happy nods. He opens his mouth, then closes it again. “I’ll be in the kitchen,” he finally says, then walks out.

May turns back to Peter. “We can leave now if you want. I think you’ve stayed long enough.”

Peter nods. “Cheeseburgers, then home.”

May smiles. “You got it.”

[dcomposing]

jumin route rewrite???

ive had.... Issues with jumin's route since the first time i played it and im waiting out a 3 hour layover which means its time to self indulgently fix all of those problems right now in excruciating detail

for the record, i dont mean any disrespect towards cheritz -- i love mysme dearly and this is purely a self indulgent experiment to see what my ideal jumin route would have been! if you like his route as is thats totally fine! it just wasnt for me lmao

this was super fun to write and if this picks up i might do another route rewrite (and i might do it even if it doesnt because it was just that fun lol)

anyways this is REALLY long (literally its like 3k words all in outline form) so its gonna go under the cut lol

okay so: issues i had with jumin’s route that i want to address:

it moves WAY too fast — i mean all of the routes do to a certain degree; they’re only 11 days long but like... you’re literally engaged to him by the end of it which iirc, is something that is only replicated in seven’s normal ending (and even then i think its only implied?) and i get that the point is that jumin goes all out for the people he loves and is VERY certain that he loves you but it just feels... way too soon for my liking ESPECIALLY because you’re his first love! it just makes it feel like he’s caught up in the rush of being in love for the first time and isn’t thinking things through which... isn’t exactly the making of a great relationship lol. so for this re- write we’re gonna slow it WAY down because... oof. 

the sarah and glam plot line happening concurrently with the mint eye/possessive jumin one makes the route feel overly busy. i actually have a similar issue with the echo girl/mint eye overlap in zen’s route but that’s a topic for another day lol. so i’m gonna try to delineate between the two a bit more so there’s less overlap.

SPEAKING OF possessive jumin lol... maybe its just my Personal Background bleeding in, but possessiveness is a really big red flag/trigger for me and i felt like it went WAY too far in his route. dgmw, i understand that its meant to be a character flaw and something he’s meant to overcome but i just feel like there are simpler ways to show that side of him without it becoming... as scary as it got. i wasn’t sure how to deal with it though -- i think it would best be expressed through smaller actions and the minutia of dialogue with the others (e.g. jumin refusing to send a photo of you into the chat room when zen asks if you’re alright, locking up elizabeth, etc.)

the canon first kiss with jumin happening both without your explicit consent AND just to drive sarah away is.... icky to me. especially because he MAKES EYE CONTACT WITH SARAH while kissing you??? i hate that cg lol. it just takes what should be a moment about the two of you and turns it into him using you to prove a point and i don’t like it at all. it’s not romantic and it feels... out of character for jumin to use someone he cares about like that. i have similar issues with the proposal happening right after he exposes glam and sarah. so lets make the kiss more genuine and nix the proposal entirely because it happens too quickly for comfort anyways.

with all of that in mind, i decided a fake dating plot would probably work best (and like i said, this is self indulgent and i’m a SUCKER for fake dating stories sooooo). it makes sure we hit all the beats of the glam/sarah plot line without shoving him and the mc into a relationship too quickly. it also means we can keep their first kiss as a big “fuck you” to sarah, but this time mc gets to be 100% in on the joke AND they get to have a “real” first kiss later on! that’s two (2!) kisses for the price of one folks.

i also decided that in order to streamline the plot a bit, the glam and sarah plot should end earlier, allowing for the mint eye plot to take center stage instead of being shoehorned in around a larger love triangle plot line. also glam and sarah are annoying and i don’t want to deal with them for six full days. the only downside is we don’t get to see v dunk on sarah at the party :-(

in lieu of a proposal for the necessary Big Romantic Gesture at the party, i thought it would be nice if jumin whisked you away from the party to paris or somewhere far away for a ridiculously extravagant first date literally in the middle of the party. not only is it ridiculously grandiose in and of itself, but in abandoning the party halfway through, it shows that jumin has grown into a more relaxed and spontaneous person through knowing you! he’s ready to throw caution to the wind and have fun with you (plus, Big Romantic Date cg!!)

day 5:

VN mode where we essentially get the exact same scene of chairman han telling jumin he wants him to marry sarah to make the merger with sugar round go more smoothly BUT this time jumin blurts out that he’s already with someone and that he didn’t want to go public with it yet. he assumes his father won’t press further, given that they’ve always had a mutual respect for one another’s privacy, but at glam’s insistence, chairman han says he wants to meet jumin’s partner. oh no!

jumin laments his situation to the rfa, resulting in pretty typical responses. zen laughs, yoosung is sympathetic but also kind of wishes it were just that simple for him to meet a wife. jaehee is worried that the inevitable fallout of this will result in more work for her. everything is business as usual until seven is like “ur so rich why don’t you just pay someone to pretend to date you lolol” and jumin (being, well, jumin) runs with it 100%. because they don’t have time to vet candidates (they’re supposed to have dinner with his dad tomorrow night!) he decides it should be someone he knows, but the majority of the other rfa members are already acquainted with his father via rfa events, making it more likely that he sees through the ruse. mc, however, has never met him, making them the perfect candidate! who would have thought lol

so they decide to move you into the penthouse that evening BUT before that can happen, they have to clear it with v because bomb, hacker, mint eye, etc. (yes this is how i’m choosing to do the bomb reveal lol). bonus, v gets to chide jumin about his dumb lie and we get a fun bff conversation with them!

final VN where you show up to the penthouse and you and jumin establish the parameters of your “relationship”. you decide that you’ll both sleep in his bed, just in case a cleaning staff member walks in and notices that he and his partner sleep separately and it ruins everything. establish what physical contact is and isn’t cool, etc, etc. you also decide that when the time comes, you’re going to tell his dad that the entire debacle with sarah put so much strain on your relationship that you had to break up. the hope being that chairman han will feel so bad about ruining things for jumin that he won’t try to force him into something like that ever again.

days 6-8:

you have dinner with his dad and answer pretty typical “meeting the parrents” questions. he asks what you guys did for your first date and jumin tells a 100% fake story about taking you to dinner on top of the eiffel tower and kissing you beneath the stars and the chairman is satisfied. that doesn’t mean that glam and sarah are though. they decide to do some sleuthing to prove that you guys aren’t really dating.

this is the fun part where we get to hit most of the beats of ur typical fake dating story! you and jumin get to know each other really well, albeit kind of superficially (favorite foods, fun childhood stories, etc. etc. nothing too heavy yet.) you guys cook together for the first time, cue cg of jumin with like... idk tomato sauce on his cheek or something. you watch a movie together and elizabeth falls asleep on your lap and jumin dies on spot idk

this is also where your first kiss happens, and pretty much in the same way except its much more mutual and he doesn’t look at sarah this time because his focus is on trying to make it look like he doesn’t even care that she’s there because you’re the only thing he cares about. (which.... isn’t actually hard for him to do at all)

chatrooms are pretty typical for this timeframe — you guys all know the drill. the other members are like “wow they seem really close” and speculate on whether or not you guys are actually together. zen is worried that jumin is going to force himself on you (wolves, etc.). yoosung is jealous that jumin gets to hang out with you. jaehee is upset that jumin is neglecting his work.

VAGUE mentions of weird activity on the messenger, but nothing too serious sounding. just enough to make jumin nervous -- esp with sarah and glam on his back still. this is when he locks elizabeth up. 

 day 8, the chairman learns that sugar round is worthless and that glam and sarah have been duping him the whole time. they’re disgraced and are never heard from again so... problem solved but this also means that you and jumin no longer have a reason to stay “together”... and you’re both kind of falling for each other so obviously that’s no good. you spend one last night in the penthouse before resolving to break things off officially in the morning. the other members talk about how sad you guys both seem to be parting.

BAD STORY END 1:

if you shy away at the fake intimate gestures (hand holding, hugging, etc), and pointedly answer incorrectly when asked a question about jumin that you should know the answer to, your ruse fails and you guys are caught faking the relationship. to avoid the scandal breaking to the press, jumin winds up marrying sarah anyways.

the branch point for this one would be right before the kiss scene, if you’re on track for the good end then the kiss happens, if not, you’re forced to shove him away when he goes in for it, revealing to sarah that you guys are frauds.

the cg would be him and sarah at the press release for their engagement announcement. sarah’s all smiles and jumin is... pretty understandably miserable looking. a reporter asks him about the other person he was in a relationship with prior to his engagement to sarah, and he reads off a line about how sarah captivated him like no one else ever could in an emotionless voice.

BAD RELATIONSHIP END 1:

if you do fine during the VN portions, but aren’t active enough in the chats, then the fake relationship plan works, but afterwards its just... really awkward. once the whole mint eye thing ends you’re pretty much just excommunicated from the rfa since you... didn’t really seem to like them all that much.

day 9:

a huge attack on the messenger happens, coupled with explicit threats directed at mc, sending everyone into such a panic that ending your fake relationship is the last thing on anyones mind. jumin is so fucking scared that he’s going to lose you, and muses in the chatroom about why he’s more scared for your safety than he would be if it were, say, yoosung being threatened (cue yoosung’s crying emoji lmao). everyone else is like “well clearly its because you’re in love with them”

anyways. they decide its for the best if you continue to stay at the penthouse and in spite of everything, you’re both... kind of relieved lol. 

everything is all fine and dandy until elizabeth III runs away, ramping jumins anxiety up to 11 like... right away

this is where we really start to see behavior more along the lines of what happens in his route, you suggest the two of you leave and search for elizabeth, and he refuses to let you go, etc. etc. 

it sort of turns into a fight, but it all works out in the end. he tells you about rika and elizabeth and why she means so much to him, and you guys talk about how fear of losing someone important to him can’t rule his life, and that its one thing to be careful, but another entirely to try to control someone else’s behavior because of fear. 

you convince him to get some sleep, assuring him that elizabeth will turn up soon and that he’s going to be alright. you guys fall asleep next to eachother without even thinking about it. its not until jumin mentions something about waking up next to you in the chat the next day that the rest of the gang is like “uhhhh,,,, why are you guys still sharing a bed”

MEANWHILE lol seven and yoosung arrive at mint eye and find elizabeth, just like what happens in canon. they decide to bring her back tomorrow.

BAD STORY END 2:

obligatory mint eye ending. if you’re too aggressive and forward with jumin and don’t give him time to properly process his feelings, he doesn’t offer to let you stay at the penthouse, relying on seven’s assurance that the apartment is totally secure (it’s not). saeran breaks in and takes you away.

this branch happens pretty early in the day, before elizabeth escapes.

i thought about a cg for this one but tbh... there are so many saeran and mc at mint eye BE cgs that idk what i could come up with that wouldn’t be super derivative lol

BAD RELATIONSHIP END 2:

again, because you’re only talking to jumin and not the rest of the rfa, he assumes that you don’t like being in the rfa very much BUT he still likes you... a lot and is very worried about your safety re: hacker, AND because he still hasn’t really dealt with his issues regarding v/rika/emotions, you guys decide to just straight up leave lol. you move to a different country where he can pretty much continue doing his work remotely while keeping you safe.

the cg for this one is the two of you in a different cushy apartment somewhere. you’re making dinner while he works. its... stable, but noticeably stiff. neither of you are talking much and his dialogue is pretty stilted. its pretty clear that he regrets abandoning his friends and is unhappy.

day 10:

3AM chat with zen where he speaks entirely in thinly veiled hypotheticals about you guys. (“well, if i thought i could have a shot with someone i really loved, i think i would take that chance and tell them, even if i might get shot down. and even if that person was a huge ass who my sexy white-haired best friend hated. i would tell them how i felt”)

seven secures the messenger again and the threat is declared neutralized! you’re safe to go home but neither you nor jumin want that at all.

yoosung brings elizabeth back around 9, and it proceeds pretty similarly to what happens in his route: he’s wary about taking her back because he feels that he’s mistreated her, you’re like “whoa buddy you’re going too far in the opposite direction here” and you and v have to convince hm that its going to be okay. the only real difference is that v doesnt also have to convince him to let you go. he just says something about how the two of you seem to bring out the best in each other, and that jumin is brighter when you’re around. 

later, jumin (tries) to make you lunch using the cooking skills you taught him a few days ago as a final payment (since you refused actual money) for all of your help, both with his father and with elizabeth, but he winds up ordering in instead. its very cute BUT its super awkward because neither of you has said anything about not wanting to leave.

finally you have to face the music and pack your bags. you hug jumin goodbye and make him promise to still get lunch with you sometime before heading back to rika’s apartment sadly.

everyone is like “yo what the fuck???” and its actually yoosung of all people who is finally like “this is ridiculous. you two clearly have feelings for each other and you need to deal with it” 

jumin is absent from most of the chatrooms for the rest of the day  though, so he doesn’t really see anything until he forces himself to log on later that night and is like “oh”

and YES of course this is going to culminate in a typical romcom scene where he has driver kim race to the apartment so he can pound on the door and apologize to you and tell you how he feels!! maybe it even happens in the rain just to maximize romance. the important thing here is that you finally kiss him for real this time and its perfect.

BAD STORY END 3:

pretty much jumin’s BE2, if you werent assertive enough with him re: his possession/control issues on day 9, he never gets over them. when elizabeth is returned he locks her back up and insists that you continue to stay with him as well, canon BE2 ensues.

i gotta hand it to cheritz. its a really good bad ending and theres not much i wanna change about it. its so scary in a calm sort of way, which i think is the perfect vibe for a dangerously unhealthy jumin. if only people would stop fetishizing it lolol

party (GE ver):

you and jumin mingle with the guests and the other members for a bit, but as the evening goes on, jumin gets restless. he pulls you aside and tells you that, while you did a wonderful job planning the party, he can’t help but regret that your guys’ first

date is technically a work function. especially when the fake first date you told his father was so perfect. he then decides that the two of you have been there long enough to fulfill your obligations, and that no one could really begrudge you if you “took off” a little early. you guys fly to paris that night and have that dinner on top of the eiffel tower.

the ending cg isn’t a kiss one, but a more simple, sweet one of the two of you in a dimly lit restaurant, jumin listening to you talk with the most tender, loving look in his eyes.

party (NE ver):

you and jumin mingle with the guests and the other members for a bit, but as the evening goes on, jumin gets restless. he pulls you aside and tells you that, while you did a wonderful job planning the party, he can’t help but regret that your guys’ first date is technically a work function. especially when the fake first date you told his father was so perfect. he laments the fact that if he was caught shirking responsibilities to take you on a real date, the press would have a field day with it, but promises to make it up to you, and take you out on a proper one tomorrow.

this cg is the two of you dancing at the rfa party, jumin resting his chin on the top of your head and daydreaming out loud about everything the two of you could do on your real first date.

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of DC: Week of June 5th, 2019

Best of this Week: Justice League #25 - Scott Snyder, James Tynion IV, Jorge Jimenez, Alejandro Sanchez and Tom Napolitano

The Year of the Villain is upon us.

The book begins with Clark in his youth, impatient and wanting to solve all of his problems by using his power, but being told to be patient by Pa Kent. Cutting to the future where he and Jon can’t light a lamp in Pa Kent’s honor, he’s drenched in rain under the cover of night. In the present an emaciated Superman floats through the Sixth Dimension in total darkness, left there by the glistening White Superman of the Utopia created by the World Forger.

Elsewhere, the League fights their future selves in an amazing action sequence by Jimenez and Sanchez. The clashing of ideals is in full force as these perfect beings from different eras fight each other for the future. Our Justice League fights with the fury of youth, uncompromising in their belief that a future where the lives of billions are lost in order to achieve justice is no future at all. The Future League, however, with their vast experience and tainted souls fight with  certainty, knowing that their world has no pain or injustice.

Their battle is captured excellently through sheer scale and intensity as the book rumbles on. Wonder Woman knows what she’s capable of taking and throws down on her older self with punches and kicks befitting a warrior with the heavy impacts to match. Lantern Stewart has an architectural mind, but his older self has obviously come across bigger, but doesn’t count on the flash decking him right in the mouth. The Flash himself doesn’t see it coming when he catches a flurry from himself and who I believe to be Wally and Bart as they phase in and out of existence.

Martian Manhunter uses his shapeshifting abilities to become something out of any Kaiju movie as he tears through the city and himself. Batman… dear God Batman and his beautiful Bat-Mech. The machine is over designed with sharp edges, a bright white color scheme with a gold Bat logo and big dumb Bat wings, but it is AMAZING to look at. Appearing to be on the side of the World Forger, he tells the team to see the Light, telling them to listen to his words and imagine light as they get beat down by their future selves.

Back in the Sixth Dimension, Batman thinks back to the light ceremony and how the League was there to help him and Jon and suddenly lights begin to appear, not just any lights… suns. In what may be one of the greatest sequence of pages in the last few issues of Justice League, (and there have been some great ones) Superman is reenergized. He dives through one sun and then another and another, regaining the hope and strength that he is so known for and rushes towards his friends,

The World Forger readies his hammer to strike this future reality into existence until he feels the vibration. He tells Future Lois Lane to shoot it down, but she sees the “S” and begins to cry. Flash sees him, Diana, J’onn and especially Bruce as Superman RAGES INTO THE BATTLE AND WITH A SINGLE, WORLD EXPLODING, PUNCH puts and end to the World Forger’s machinations.

Instead of destroying the World Forger in that instant, he extends his hand, telling him that there is another way to save the Multiverse if he joins the Justice League. Batman had his suspicions of the future the whole time and upon learning of Superman’s fate, decided to give him a chance to find his way back to his friends and if he didn’t then the Utopia was meant to be, but he always knew that Clark would find a way. Clark focused on hope and the happy memories. He knew that there was always another way and that the World Forger’s ideas that there was only one path or a few that involved him fighting against the Justice League were misguided and that there was one he hadn’t considered; joining them.

Before jumping into the latter 1/3rd of the book, I have to praise this book for having such a satisfying conclusion to this arc. I love that the League didn’t just have to vanquish another threat, but gained a new ally in their fight against the coming Doom. The art was amazingly frenetic and bright with the colors popping in ways that made everything all the more epic and badass. Shading and detailing made everything seem so much more inspiring and dire at times, which is exactly what this needed with special praise going to the single splash page of Superman roaring his arm back for a Real Superman Punch.

Things finally coalesce with the second story of this issue written by James Tynion IV and drawn by new series regular artist, Javier Fernandez. Paying off the events of the Year of the Villain One-Shot, Lex Luthor has made his plea to the people of Earth. After the Legion of Doom saves the world from a raging Mxypytlk, Lex tells them what a mess of things the Justice League made of the Source Wall. He encourages the citizens of the world to shun the League and become Villains just like him as it’s the only way to save themselves since the heroes obviously can’t.

The people are listening and have already started rioting in the streets. Unlike in The Last Knight on Earth, the League has hope. The World Forger hopes to gain the aid of his brothers, the Monitor and the Anti-Monitor. Starman hopes to gain the aid of other heroes from the Multiverse. Wonder Woman wishes to stay on Earth and utilize the Largest League that there has ever been and J’onn says that they have to do it all. At the same time, after his supposed Death, Lex brings himself back to life in a strange body, saying that Doom is just beginning.

I have never been more excited for Justice League than I am now, especially given how widespread this story will be. There are hints of the same kind of scale as Jonathan Hickman’s run on Avengers, with every small thing in every tangential book affecting some part of the larger narrative and that’s the kind of storytelling that I adore. Offers are going to be going out to every villain in the DC Universe and things are only going to be more intense from here on out and I am here for it.

HIGH Recommend.

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Slade Wilson is dead.

Runner Up: Deathstroke: R.I.P. #44 - Christopher Priest, Fernando Pasarin, Ryan Winn, Jeremy Cox and Willie Schubert

With a large crowd of mourners, we get an idea of how respected and reviled the Terminator was in the larger DC Universe, or at the very least, in the realm of villainous circles. Talia al Ghul bids him farewell and says that he will be welcomed in hell. Red Lion, Priests pastiche of Black Panther, pays his respects to “de ultimate wheelon.” Raptor, Killer Frost and Deadshot all show up to pay respects, with Deadshot saying that he always thought he'd be the one to take Wilson out and how he feels cheated.

Dr. Ikon, who was put into a coma by Jericho and subsequently hunted by Slade for daring to have a relationship with his son shows up and wishes Slade had at least given him his eye back. Even his ex-wife, Adeline Kane cries as she views the funeral, damming him for dying even after all of mess they've put each other through.

The Legion of Doom appears and tries to assert their dominance over the crowd, but remain calm as Sinestro remarks that Deathstroke was one of the few that could legitimately stand with the group as he analyzes the body.

Superman, who Deathstroke fought all the way back in issue #8, appears above the proceedings to make sure that everything stays cordial amongst the many attendees. Meanwhile, Jericho, angry that his father's even getting a funeral, tries to goad Superman into bringing all of the villains in attendance down, but Superman disagrees. He says that no one is committing and crime and the boy just gets angrier.

At the Titan's base, Red Arrow tries to comfort Damian, telling him that Deathstroke's death wasn't his fault and that even though Damian wanted him dead, Emiko had to be the one to loose the arrow. Unbeknownst to either, Jericho takes over Emiko's body and attacks Damian, cursing them for killing Deathstroke before taking over Kid Flash's body soon after.

For the entirety of this run, we've seen how negative Slade and Jericho's relationship is. Jericho hates his father and that has poisoned his entire life. Knowing he's being mourned pisses off the former Titan, but hearing that another Titan was the one that killed him sends him into a rage. It's similar to his heel turn in Geoff Johns spectacular Teen Titans run in the mid 2000s where he didn't want more kids to suffer, but this time he's the one suffering.

At the same time, Rose Wilson attacks people dressing up as her father as his face is shown all over screens in a city and Detective Gordon tells her that Slade wouldn't have wanted her to follow in his footsteps as he was told by Wintergreen, echoing the most early issues of Deathstroke, like #4 - #5 I believe

.continuing his rage, Jericho, in Kid Flash's body attacks Sinestro, who uses his Ultraviolet ring to tap into Jericho's repressed emotions and fires upon the crowd. Doctor Light reveals that Superman was just a projection and disables Jericho and the Legion ponders what to do with the boy. With Deathstroke dead, the Legion makes their first Offer for Year of the Villain and gives him a chance to join them and with his current mental state, who's to say that he won't?

Deathstroke has been a weird and convoluted ride at times, but the character work herein has been phenomenal. We've seen the root causes of what makes Deathstroke himself so poisonous and how that's affected his children.

Jericho wears the mask of a hero, but underneath, he's scarred. He nearly kills a man he loves on the off chance that he may tell Slade of it, causing Slade to hunt him and now he himself is falling to the dark side.

Rose has always straddled the line, but her father kept her on the side of good at least by discouraging her from being him. Her anger at his death may drag her into the same pit as Jericho, especially after trying to solve the mental break she had, thinking she was overcome with the Spirit of a Hmong warrior.

There's going to be a war to determine who the next Deathstroke will be and if that doesn't excite everyone, I don't know what to say other than High recommend.

[adangerousbond]

The Garden can Break the Greenhouse

I think this will be about 2 chapters all up, I have a few other stories I have been trying to work on and start but there are very few stories for Reade/Zapata, so I needed to write my own in the mini break.

Read below or at FF.net // AO3

Enjoy!

There had been multiple times throughout this mission that she had been unsure if she would succeed; the moment she had realised just how hard it would be to walk away from everyone, when she had watched the entire room around her fall to the ground, unsure if she was going to be next, confronting Reade in his apartment and more recently when she had been kidnapped and interrogated by fake CIA agents, all because Madeline got a little unsure of her, but this time felt different, because at least if she had not survived, she had won.

Slumping down against a crate, she closed her eyes for a moment in an attempt to make the dizziness disappear, her fingers sticky and wet from the blood seeping through her shirt and her ears pounding as she breathed through the pain. She had left Madeline in a room that she knew her team would find her, having had gone after the last of the older woman's helpers, knowing full well that it would take her away from the possible route out of the building that had been rigged to blow in a time frame that was too short for her to do much.

Opening her eyes, Tasha glanced towards the doorway she had come through, the pool of blood from the man she had shot a lot larger than when she had last looked and the realisation that she had been down longer than she had realised kicked in, her limited time was disappearing quicker than she could think.

Pressing as firmly as she could into the wound on her side, she ignored her body's complaints and forced herself up, she had come to far and given up too much to not at least try to get out. Her vision was blurring more with each step she took but she continued towards what she believed was the opposite direction of where the bomb had been placed; Madeline's last line of defence, if all else was lost the woman would get some solace in bringing everyone else down with her too.

Rounding a corner, she heard what sounded like footsteps coming closer to the room she was now in, unsure if it was her mind playing tricks or not, she paused to listen, her answer coming as the door opened and a gun pointed through. Raising her gun shakily towards the approaching figure, with a sudden hint of survival kicking in to cover the lack of strength, her brain barely registering the friendly face as they lowered their weapon and rushed towards her.

"Tasha?!" Reade breathed a sigh of relief, concern quickly taking over as he saw she was struggling to stand. Wrapping an arm around her, he took her weight as he led them back out the way he had come in, his other hand holding his gun tight ready to protect them.

Leaning against him, she actually felt safe for a moment, as she focused on keeping up the quick pace he was making them go, both knowing full well that they needed to be out of the building already. A hint of hope rose in the back of her mind, hope that she might actually get out of this mission alive, but it was quickly replaced by the fear that she might get them both killed.

The answer to her question came moments later as he pushed them through a door a few moments later and the bright sunlight hit her face. He continued his path towards an ambulance in the distance, as she glanced over to her former team, locking eyes with Madeline for a moment and nearly stumbling at the ice in her stare, breaking away she caught the mixture of questioning and disapproving looks from the team, even in her state she could tell Reade was ignoring the same looks, something that she tucked away and hoped she would remember later.

As they close enough to the ambulance that the paramedics saw her, she was quickly surrounded by people ready to help but Reade seemed focused on getting her to the vehicles stretcher before he let her go. The distinct sound of the building exploding ripping through the relief that had fallen over then the moment they had made it to the vehicle, Reade holding its back door in a manner to shield them from any debris from the building as they watched it crumble from the force.

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She barely remembered the ride to the hospital, waking a while later to the beeping, busy noise and sickly clean smell that could only be one place. Opening her eyes, she glanced around the white room, attempting to sit up without getting caught up in the cords connected to her body, her actions catching the eye of a nurse walking by, who smiled quickly at her before hurrying off, most likely to fetch someone to talk to her.

Her suspicions of the nurse were right when a man and woman in doctor's coats entered, followed by a blank Reade. She was surprised to see him there and it made her wonder if it was to take her into custody once given the all clear, he had made it clear that she was simply an asset and her only usefulness was catching Madeline, which she had done; she didn't have Keaton to get her out of a black site anymore, so CIA or FBI; it didn't make much of a difference to her.

"Miss Zapata, I am glad to see you are awake." The male doctor spoke, the way he seemed to be keeping his distance off her bed not lost on her and she had to wonder if they thought she was law enforcement or the enemy.

"Guess I lived." She stated nonchalantly, making eye contact with Reade for a moment before picking up the cup in front of her as an excuse to look away.

"Are you happy for us to update you with Agent Reade in the room? We can do this more privately if you prefer." The doctor spoke again softer than before, noticing the interaction between the two.

"It's fine." She stated, placing the cup back on the tray in front of her, as she wondered if the fact she wasn't handcuffed was a good sign.

"You had a small gunshot wound to the abdomen, not much more than a graze that we patched up, along with a couple other cuts and bruises that you'll need to keep an eye on, we stitched up the more serious ones. The bigger issue is that you were dehydrated and malnourished, which was making your wounds make you weaker than they should, but we have you on an IV full of much needed nutrients and your hydration levels are much better." He rattled off the basics of her injuries to her as she watched him hold himself back, clearly wanting to ask questions but knowing better than too.

"I would also like you to have a chat with our counsellor before you go." The female doctor spoke up, clearly going against a decision the two of them had decided upon before coming into her room.

"Why?" She asked a lack of anything to her tone that she then realised probably didn't help her situation.

"Well, your displaying clear symptoms of being held against your will and of being tortured, pretty seriously by what I've seen, so I would like you to at least have a quick chat with them first." The concern about her welfare evident on the doctor's voice, but Tasha couldn't help but feel it would dissipate if she knew the things she had done.

"When am I leaving, by the way you two talk it sounds as if I am being discharged pretty soon?" Tasha questioned, ignoring the statement and any questions it brought with it as she glanced at the small group at the end of her bed.

"We have a plane waiting to go back to New York." Reade spoke authoritively and his reason for being there dawned on her, he was only there to escort her to the ride home; or to a dark hole, she still wasn't sure which it would be.

"I would prefer if you stayed a little while longer, at least to keep an eye on your wounds." The other woman spoke, dropping her other issue for now. "But we cannot force you to stay."

"If you choose to leave, we will give you some medication for the pain and to try to stop infection, and some supplies to change the bandages if needed, but I would highly suggest going into a hospital as soon as your stateside." The male doctor explained further, the appearance of her having a choice nearly making her laugh, if only they knew the whole story.

"I'll be fine, changed a few bandages in my time." She stated, pretending to have made the decision all on her own, but they were right and the bruises on her wrists would really hurt if the handcuffs went back on.

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Stepping out of the room a little while later having changed into the now clean clothes that she had come in with, bar her shirt that they had cut open, but having been given one of the hospitals light green scrub shirts to wear instead, she definitely felt more refreshed than she had in the last few weeks.

"Ready?" Reade spoke coldly, as if he was here for a job and that was it; which she supposed he was.

Tasha nodded in response, handing the clipboard she was holding to a nurse at the nurses' station as they started their way to the elevator. The coldness between them hurting, but she pushed it down, knowing she had hurt him more and it had been her choice, so she didn't deserve anything but.

Their silence continued in the drive to the airport, only interrupted by a call coming through midway there, the silence returning as quickly as the call ended. As they approached the hanger, she wasn't sure if she should be worried or thankful that they had a private jet waiting for them, the unanswered question about her fate slowly eating away at her.

Following behind him quietly, at the very least she knew that was all she could do at the moment, choosing that it was safer to prepare for the worst than to hold on to the slither of hope. She took the stairs to the plane slowly, ignoring the way he waited at the top as to ensure she didn't try to run and hated that she couldn't read if he was impatient or concerned as she past him and made her way to a seat.

Curling in against herself, she sat in a seat next to a window silently, letting the other members of a team she was once a part of move around the plane, only stopping what they were doing as the plane moved towards the runway and then took off, soaring towards its destination and potentially towards her hell.

"How are you feeling?" Patterson asked as she sat opposite her, breaking her train of thought as the concern from her once close friend brought a tinge of hope.

"Been better." She responded with a weak smile, turning to face her and watching as Rich sat next to her, the two looking as if they were about to start an interrogation of their own kind.

"We got Madeline red handed, HCI Global won't come back from this." The blonde stated getting down to business.

"Good." At least it hadn't ended up all being for nothing, that was something she could hold on to where ever she ended up.

"Why?" Her old friend asked, her question drawing the other occupant to the conversation, as Reade made his way over, having no choice but to sit on the spare seat next to her.

"Why?" Tasha questioned the question, not sure which part of it the why referred to.

"Why did you agree to it?" Rich brought up the first question the group seemed to have for her.

"It's not like he had anyone else lining up to do it, I couldn't exactly turn it down." She tried to explain, but this group was FBI through and through, they had never understood why she had gone CIA and so she couldn't expect them to understand why she had been prepared to give up everything, including her job at the CIA for it.

"Was it because we weren't talking and you two were barely talking?" Patterson got right to the question that had been eating at her, wanting to understand her mindset.

"I won't lie," She started, her comment gaining a huff from the man next to her, "It helped me agree to it in the first place, but when it started, us all being friends again made walking away the hardest thing I have ever done."

"Yet you did it anyway. You left without a word and joined forces with our enemy." The blonde argued, the hurt that she had and was still feeling evident in her tone.

"Even to my standards, that's not right." Rich spoke up, trying to cut through with tension that was filling up the small plane quickly.

"You could have just told us." Reade near repeated the words he had told her when he had her in the FBI just over a week prior.

"I couldn't risk it." Tasha told him sadly, knowing how the words sounded the moment she said them.

"Risk what, we were your team." The were in his sentence cutting the deepest, she knew they weren't a team anymore, but it still hurt to be reminded.

"I had to go deep Reade, I couldn't have any outs, it was all or nothing." She tried explaining from a different angle, she knew they all had their own thoughts as to why she had done it the way that she had and that they were all still hurt by those reasons.

"All you needed to do was tell us enough that we would have known you weren't betraying us, we wouldn't have sold you out." He fired back, bringing trust back into it, because if there was anything that this team had survived on it was trust.

"If I told you and anything went wrong, if I failed I wouldn't have forgiven myself. I couldn't risk anything, and if I succeeded and you guys didn't forgive me that was a something I would have to live with." She told him softly, knowing he had every right to feel the way he did but she hadn't had the choice, after everything she had done, this mission had been the very least she could offer, no matter the cost.

"And if it went wrong, what, we would have just never known the truth?" Patterson asked, anger flaring up in her tone as she listened to the reasoning and knew that it had been a very real possibility.

"Keaton promised he would tell the team the truth if it went bad." The brunette responded, the sentence sinking in as the group realised that it was an outcome that she had not only understood but had had a plan for as well.

"Then why come to me that night." Reade broke the silence, all eyes flying to him the moment he spoke. Looking around the group she knew the other two had at least some understanding that they had crossed a line, but they hadn't quite known how far over the line they had gone and the other two was just as surprised as she was that he was bringing it up now.

"I know I shouldn't have, it was selfish, but like I told you, I thought I would never see you again." She stared him down like she had in the interrogation room, needing him to know that as much as she had lied and hurt him, that her feelings were real and that she hated hurting him.

"You also told me that you always loved me, but I guess just not enough to tell me the truth." He threw her words back at her, both of them ignoring the way Rich was watching them as he was watching a day time soap show.

"You and I both know I would have ruined us anyway." She sighed, a lone tear escaping as she droped his eye contact as and wishing he would drop the topic for a time more private, but also glad that he was somewhat prepared to talk to her and that he had clearly confided in Patterson, who was watching the two with a sad expression, having had conversations with both, she understood that they were both in pain.

"How is it you keep making that choice for me?" Reade used a previous conversation against her once more and like before, not really expecting her to answer that statement.

"How about we stop there before someone says something they can't take back?" Rich spoke up, starting to get a touch uncomfortable, confrontations; especially those in a confined space, were not at the top of his list for enjoyable situations.

"Oh, we have said way worse to each other." Tasha couldn't help but joke, her words dropping the group back into silence.

"Where's Jane and Weller, are they okay?" Tasha asked after a while, feeling comfortable enough in the group to start asking her own questions.

"Chasing up a lead for Jane." Rich responded without thinking, his answer drawing an inquisitive look from the brunette and a sharp glare from the man opposite him. "And I've said to much."

She knew better than to push her luck on the subject, clearly there was going to be things that she would miss and they all barely seemed to tolerate her, let alone trust her with information on the two main members of the team, but it still hurt. Watching Rich get up and head towards the planes far corner where his laptop lay waiting, Tasha realised that he was distancing himself before he said anything further.

"Wait." She spoke up as Reade moved to stand as well, her request gaining a glare, but he remained seated none the less, as she got the courage to ask the question haunting her the most. "What's going to happen to me?"

"I'm not handing you over to the CIA if that's what you're worried about." His words didn't answer her question fully, but they gave her a glimmer of hope, something that was quite dangerous to her right now.

"What then?" She pushed further, she mightn't have the right to push about anything else, but she knew this was the one topic that no one could blame her for wanting an answer to.

"Well they are going to want to debrief you and as Keaton is still unconscious and though Claudia backed you up to me, she might not be so forthcoming with them, but for the mean time you'll remain in FBI custody, might even set you up in a safe house if it comes down to it." He explained, trying to sound as if he was talking to any other informant but the three of them knew that he was bending his power as deputy director.

"Really?" Tasha asked, hope slipping into her tone for the first time in a long time and she couldn't stop the small smile crossing her features.

"Well the end result was beneficial to the FBI, least we can do is make sure you don't get thrown into some dark hole." He reasoned to everyone, including himself, as he looked down to give himself a chance to school his features.

"Thanks." She responded, relief pushing aside her pain for a moment as she suppressed the urge to hug him, knowing that that action would not be well received.

"We should probably go over some key points before they get a chance to brief you though, like for starters, were the doctors correct when they said that you had been tortured recently?" He switched back to a line of conversation that he was in control of.

"Yes." She answered too coolly, the only sign that the question even bothered her was the way that she pulled her legs a bit closer, even though the action would cause her pain.

"Who?" Patterson spoke up for the first time in a while, the news surprising and concerning her, she knew it hadn't been an easy mission, but this was something else.

"They grabbed me when I was supposed to meet Del Toro, pretended to be CIA or were CIA working for Madeline, but they tried to get me to admit that I was undercover, all I knew was that if I told either option the truth they would have killed me." Tasha started explaining calmly as if it was not her story she was telling.

"Guess you held out." Reade responded coldly but watching her closely non the less.

"Reade!" Rich's voice rang out from over his laptop screen, clearly requesting his presence with what he had been working on.

"We will pick this up later." Reade stated as he rose and walked away from them, Patterson following closely behind, only pausing at another seat to grab a blanket which she then passed it to Tasha.

Folding the blanket into a makeshift pillow, she placed it on the window, figuring she might as well attempt to sleep or at the very least pretend to, to allow her a quiet flight as she knew that they would all leave her alone if rest and right she had to process the last couple of days. She just wished that she could be 100% certain that they would be able to protect her from the CIA, Keaton had been the only one who would have been able to talk them down and even though her mission had succeed, she knew that the CIA would be unhappy with the way she had dragged their name through the mud.

[feels--on--wheels]

Knockout Meets June...Again

RID15 AU working title “ContinUnity”. Follows Prime, ignores Rescue Bots, mostly follows RID15 up to the end of Season 2.

Context: Unable to adjust to post-war Cybertron, Wheeljack becomes a bounty hunter bringing in rouge Decepticons.  He adopts a human named Marisol as his Second in Command, makes contact with Bee on Earth, and ends up with Knockout and Sunstreaker as part of his team.  Marisol gets hurt badly because of Sunstreaker's willful disregard of her orders.  They race back to Earth to get her treatment.

"Mari?  Come on, answer me.  Are you with us?" A large claw slipped against the back of a trembling tan hand as the body it was attached to spasmed with pain. "Knocks?  -hurts..." The shining red mech crouched on his knees next to the stretcher, letting her grip the blunt back edge of his talon as she squirmed atop the sheets. "I know sweetheart, but I need you to stay conscious.  Ratchet's getting help.  You're gonna be okay." The squealing of tires in the groundbridge backed up his claim as the older medic's voice started shouting before his wheels had stopped spinning. "Get the equipment out of my cab, carefully!  I need it to-" "-He did this!?  How could you let him in here?" Knockout froze, servos full of supplies, as the new voice cut Ratchet off mid-instruction.  He recognized that quiet, angry voice.  Slag. "June, ignore him, we don't have time!" "Oh, I will make time!  What is that monster doing in this base?  This place is supposed to be safe!" Knockout's engine growled low in irritation.  This was not helping! "You can hate me later!  I-" "Knocks?  What's-ah-what's wrong?  You said- mmmmmm- you weren't hurt.  What's-" Marisol struggled to raise her shoulders off the stretcher, trying to see around Ratchet's bulk.  Knockout scooted back to his place next to her, returning his clawed digit to her searching hand and guiding her back down as the older woman moved around the ambulance after him. "Deep breaths, Mari.  Everything's fine.  This is Nurse Darby, Jack's mother.  She's going to take care of you.  Just keep it together a little longer, Wheeljack's on his way, and you know how he gets." "He didn't...he didn't do anything stupid, did he?" "Just dropping off the 'Cons at Bee's place.  He'll be fine, and you will be too.  I don't know how we'd keep from killing eachother without our little Voice of reason." June stared at the young woman accepting comfort from the disturbingly gentled decepticon medic in the Unit-E hangar.  This was not something she had ever expected to see when she woke up today.  Ratchet transformed and knelt next to his stunned friend. "I didn't think to warn you.  There have been a lot of...changes recently." The nurse's eyebrows nearly hit her hair in response as she gave him a look, but it was enough to get her moving again as she started setting up IV lines and laid out the chemical agents she would need.  For once, Knockout was right.  She could hate him later.  With June back on track with treating their patient, Ratchet moved back to the groundbridge, altering the settings and re-opening the vortex.  Three cars immediately roared through, the yellow lamborghini coming closer to the humans than June was comfortable with.  She was suprised to recognize Bee as the first to transform.  The sleeker yellow one offloaded an orange minibot barely larger than her as a group of people piled out of the white sportscar.  Next came most of Unit-E, and another man in a loud shirt, before Wheeljack transformed and bent next to Knockout as the yellow car she didn't recognize took up a position on the other side of Marisol.  June was taken aback again as the gruff old wrecker delicately stroked one finger over the girl's hair until she opened her eyes. "Hey Mari.  We brought the brats, and Fixit.  Nurse Darby and Ratchet are gonna get you all fixed up.  How're ya doin?" No amount of effort could keep the tension from her body or face, but Marisol seemed determined to try. "Oh, I'm fine.  Gonna be fine.  Knocks keeps sayin' so.  Kid didn't know.  He didn't mean it." "I know babe.  He's okay, 'm not gonna hurt 'im.  Just relax and let the medics do their thing." The roar of another engine drew attention back to the still open groundbridge, and a sleek red car offloaded more passengers before transforming and tugging on the yellow autobot that has so far been silent, alone in the corner.  The similarities between the two were instantly recognizable.  If they were human, June would have said they were brothers.  Red led Yellow away, giving them more room around the bed. "What in the Pit happened out there," Ratchet rumbled, kneeling down himself in the newly vacated space.  Wheeljack frowned at the space above Marisol's head, and Knockout flinched. "She decided to infiltrate a Decepticon's ship with one idiot to free another idiot while Wheeljack went after the last 'Con.  Sunstreaker decided to start a fight instead of going in quiet, which was supposed to be the plan.  I heard the noise from the holding cell before I ever saw her.  Sunny got tossed in the cell with me before 'Jack blew something up outside and drew the guard off.  She got the cell door mostly open, but we didn't know about the minicon.  I didn't even see the little fragger coming up on her.  He tossed her into a pile of junk, did something to her leg when she landed, but she jabbed him with that little tool she and 'Jack came up with and got the door open.  He got ahold of her again before Sunstreaker could get to them, and I don't know what happened, she was just screaming on the floor, with her leg torn open like that and half-cauterized.  All I could think to do was put a pressurizing wrap on it to stop the blood loss, but...there's something broken inside her, and I can't get to it to fix it.  I didn't use any of the scanners that are contraindicated with humans, but...This was the only place I knew of that could help her.  It's been almost...twenty hours." Marisol's good leg scrambled, pushing against the stretcher. "Hands were hot.  Burned." "Little fragger has a Sigma.  Raises the temp in his hands 'til it could melt through armor.  Sunny got a good hit too." "So she has deep cuts, burns, and possibly broken bones?  This is not...Ratchet, get Bill, now.  She's going to need surgery immediately, maybe more than one...I'll have to take her to the hospital.  We're going to need to move her as soon as she's stable, but first I have to see that wound.  She's going to need a cover story."

[elvesofnoldor]

anyways, ive seen enough gameplay footage to make sense of the story as a whole and i have to say, despite many merits and potentials, the story of tlou 2 certainly is NOT a masterpiece. IGN sort of kind of still lied to me lmao. my initial judgement on the game still stands, it’s just my attitude towards the game has softened a lot. i dont think im angry about it, or even wistful about the way the story went, and i like it so much better now that ive seen more of it. in fact when i get a ps4 (or ps5 i guess smh, would they even remaster this game for ps5? lmao), i will definitely try out this game. but i still have to say that it still makes a lot of sense as to why people hate it so much and even though i don’t absolutely hate it like some of the fans, i certainly am not the biggest fan of it either.  Maybe it’s because im writing a story about fruitlessness of revenge (well, technically it’s fanfic dont @ me) and therefore ive thought a lot about such story, but the way i understand it, the true face of vengeance has always been grief, and any good revenge story is ultimately a story about loss. Everybody keeps talking about how this is about “neither side is right” or “cycle of violence is toxic” but i think these interpretations are only scratching the surface. To me, tlou 2 is about obsession, specifically obsession with revenge; It’s about hate, born from grief, driving someone down a path of violence that will never end. in truth, the obsession with vengeance is actually obsession with acquiring symbolic justice for a loss irreplaceable, and from what i seen, it seems that neil demonstrated that he understood this much. All the heartbreaking flashbacks? they aren’t just to build up ellie’s fall out with joel and her ensuing straining relationship with joel prior to the start of the story, they are to show us what ellie has lost. At the end, when she faced Abby, joel’s killer, and decided to let her go, i understand it as Ellie letting go of her hate born from grief of losing her only family, so she can finally be free from the shackle of murder and violence vengeance put on her. it SHOULD be about her letting go so that she may move on with her life before everything is lost, but when ellie comes back to the farm, dina is gone, and she has truly lost everything anyways. joel has saved ellie so that she could be happy, except that she is not, and it’s likely she will never be happy again. And what was all the heartaches about again? it felt like it was all for nothing!  the story ends in utter despair, which is very uncharacteristic for a tlou game. in tlou part I and the dlc, the story is full of perils and heartaches. Tlou ends in a way that let us know there will be no cure for the pandemic that ended the world, but the little girl that joel and the players spent entire time getting to know and growing to love survived and she may have a life in happiness and peace. tlou dlc ended in a way that hinted at ellie’s best friend riley’s eventual demise, and it sucks, and it HURTS, but she did not die on screen. the dlc ends in a way to let us know that even when all is dark, you find something to fight for and you live another day, which echoes with what joel said to ellie at the end of tlou part I. Imagine if tlou 2 also echoes with that message of hope. Imagine if ellie simply snuck out without having that conversation with dina, and when she finally let go and come back to the farm, dina is still there. ellie has lost a finger, she has lost joel, she has lost so much and all the murders and violence weighted heavily on her conscience and she is scarred from the experience. So maybe she still played that guitar, and she still despaired, but then she remembers what joel said to her 13 year old self: i struggle a long time with surviving. no matter what, you keep finding something to fight for. And then ellie looked at dina, and the baby, ellie knew that she may have lost her old family and it hurt and it hurts still and the scar of the loss will always be with her, but she has a new one to fight for and to take care of now and there is still something worth staying alive for. To me, that would have been a better and stronger ending, a ending that speak of hope even in the midst of despair, it would have been a satisifying conclusion to both joel and ellie’s relationship as well as ellie and dina’s relationship.  now, Abby’s story ultimately contribute to this overarching story about grief and loss, and yeah, i have complicated feeling about her and her part taking up so much time in the game. i sure did NOT like the idea of being forced to play as her and hurt ellie in a boss fight! who wants to fight and potentially kill their favourite character as a brand new character we have very little emotional connection to? what purpose does that serve beside letting us know that ellie did not win this fight in the story? we could have easily played as ellie instead, as her point of view is supposed to be the point of view we identified with? This is the sequel to the last of us, which is advertised as being ellie’s story after all! this is not an independent story! i dont know what was neil thinking. it was apparent to me that abby was probably afflicted with fireflies somehow even before i read any spoilers. she was looking for joel! why else would she look for him and try to kill him? i honestly didn’t think that we needed to play as her to know she was with the fireflies and she was taking revenge on joel cause joel killed her dad and most of the fireflies and took that one chance of finding the cure away from everybody. we didnt need to play as merlene to see from her point of view, just saying. she was simply reacting to what ellie and joel did for the most part, and she never really have to reflect on killing joel the way she killed him. why does she need to take up so much space in the story? this should have been a story that focuses on ellie? i still wish she was ellie’s mom and her story tied into ellie’s immunity and the larger story of finding cure for the infection and she may or may not have been connected to or involved with joel’s death and her vague connection to joel’s murder is her reason to be in the story, but frankly, i dont know how to fix abby’s part of the story, she could have been a good character but it seems to me that she shouldn’t have been such prominent character in this story in particular.  again i think from what ive seen the game’s story has potential, and it has merits, but ultimately the ending and abby’s part hurt the story and lowered its quality. people are still handling the shock of seeing joel’s brutal death, people are still UNDERSTANDABLY having difficulty sympathizing with abby, people are still angry about having to fight ellie, people are still angry about having to witness so much content of brutal violence against characters of colour (yet again) in this game, there is also apparently tranphobic backlash against the game because the garbage cis dudes from the gamer community HAVE to let us know what a disgusting cesspool of shit part of the community is every once a while. but i think it’s fair to say that this is not the star wars sequel situation again. tlou 2 is not an absolute let down the way sw sequel (tlj and ros) is, but it is still a flawed story and should be seen and understood as such. 

[neocassity]

Gone | Johnny

 A/N: Long story short, I lost what I was supposed to post. So I sat down and wrote this in 30 minutes. I haven’t proofread it yet, which I will do later. I’ve to wake up in less than 5 hours, though that’s not an excuse. Let me know how you feel about it. It’s probably my worst, but has to suffice till I can comeback with part 4 to ‘Uncalled’.

Genre: Angst, Slight Smut. Word Count: 1,769

The rain sang the melody you were eager to avoid. As you kept your hand on your chest, where your heartbeats could be felt, rampant and intrusive to the peace you were seeking, you wished it could just stop. The way your husband’s heart stopped on him.

  It was a very average day. You had woken up to the constant beeps of the alarm set on your phone. You shook your husband awake and walked to freshen up. By the time you had gotten back, he was smiling at you as he sat on the edge of the bed, his hands hanging in between his legs as his eyes struggled to widen and take in more of your messy hair, recently washed face, your hands on your hips as you smiled at him genuinely.

  You walked over to him and patted his cheek twice, soft and damp from the tap water. You placed your hand on the back of his head and bent down to place a chaste kiss on his plump lips. He smiled as your lips touched, and your fingers gently pulled on his black tresses.

  You both had breakfast and left for your individual jobs, both demanding attention and devotion. Thus, you always made sure to never let your mind wander. However, the thought of the three-day-long trip to a nearby beach to celebrate your first-year-anniversary with him in less than a week had you on your toes. Your mind was dishevelled, your nerves were less than functional as you awaited the days where you could just hold his hands and kiss his lips and not think about the world.

  That’s when you received a call. You smiled as his name appeared on the screen, hoping to find enough words to tease him with for being so unbearably impatient.

  “We’re going to meet in a hour, can you not disturb me?” you laughed as you teased before realising the sirens from the other side.

  “Ma’am, your husband got into a hospital. We are sending you the address, you need to hurry up. Is the name Johnny Suh?”

  You could only try to picture the state he was pushed into. What had exactly happened? How did he get into an accident? Was it even his fault?

  “Yes…” you whispered, “Thank you.” You hung up and hurried to your boss to let him know of the situation. You somehow croaked out the words. His eyes were sympathetic and considerate, but they were not Johnny’s. You were already feeling a void settling in your heart, you were already feeling empty, repulsive toward everything surrounding you. As if a part of you that had grown to accept and reasonably love had died within you with an accident that was far from having even affected you physically.

  Your hands trembled as you stretched it to press the button to the garage of the elevator. Your best friend, Yuta, insisted that he could drive you to the hospital, and you knew it was better to let him do so since you couldn’t calm your jittering form down.

  Yuta only stared at you from the corner of his eyes, his hand taking yours as the elevator door opened to the quiet and dim-lit garage. He assured you that it will be okay, that Johnny will live. You wanted to believe so, but something inside you had already given up. Hope had already given up. It had died inside you and flown to someplace to die in some other person. You felt empty and your emptiness had you breathless without even acknowledging your effort to hold on to the last ray of hope. You wanted to shout and cry already. But you were too scared, scared that the moment a sigh left your lips as an expression of dejection, your husband would lose every opportunity of winning against death.

  The moment you and Yuta ran into the room they had kept Johnny, you heard,

  “Time of death, 6:03 PM.”

   He just wanted to surprise you at work...

  You remember falling to your knees as Yuta struggled to stabilise you. You hugged his legs as dearth wrapped around your form. You felt your body relaxing to bits and pieces, somehow letting go of strength and surrendering to gravity. Yuta sat down beside you and took you in his arms as you started to cry. His hand rubbed soothing circles across the small of your back, just the way you liked it, but it didn’t feel the same. It was not Johnny, he was dead.

  And then, you were sat by the window as rain showered upon your face and blended with your tears. You didn’t know how to differentiate between raindrops and teardrops; the same way the fine line between smiles and frowns, angers and conciliates, love and hate, and life and death.

  Because despite your heart beating erratically in your chest, despite your pulse paining your wrists, despite the laboured breathing; you felt utterly lifeless. Mortality is something bound to happen to every living creature, and you felt like you had already passed that point where liveliness equates to life and love equates to having the person you love beside you so that it doesn’t get colder than it already is for the rain.

  But it was colder, so cold that you shivered even beneath the thick comforter.

  Your mind fleeted back and forth. One moment you thought about the first time you met. It was one of those days nature suddenly changed its plans and decided to let snow cover the grounds. You walked swiftly across the whitened road, letting an umbrella cover your form as it threatened to fly off your grip. The appearance of a well-lit café made a smile grace across your lips, relief washing over you as you stood for a second reveling in the fact that soon enough you’ll be enveloped in the warmth of bustling crowd, struggling to do the same.

  Suddenly a larger body collided with yours from the back, and you lost your grasp on the umbrella. As it flew away across the street, getting lost amidst people, you turned around with the single urge to complain. But when you did, an umbrella covered you once again, and your eyes made contact with a black coat. You looked up at a man, probably a year or two older. He breathed heavily as his brows furrowed softly. Looking down at you he gulped as your face softened from incredibly mad to incredibly soft, and he apologised.

  Then your mind drifted to his body, lost among IV drops and stitches and bandages trying to hold his life and soul inside his body. Life is stealthy, it somehow still managed to escape.

  Then you thought of the day you two first kissed. It was an innocent date in the bookstore, his promise to accompany you to your book haul kept intact. You grabbed a copy of one of your most favourite books and handed it over to him.

  “It’s a part of my soul, I want you to read it!” you said to him through a shy smile, your tackiness overwhelming.

  He smiled and kissed you, without any obstruction from your part. He thanked you against your lips, before taking your hand in his and making a run to reserve a table in your favourite restaurant. Your laughed and breathed through your nose as his hold on your wrist tightened comfortably, him looking back every once in a while at you and beaming.

  Then your mind came back to recount the seconds that you had spent in the elevator with Yuta. The seconds you realised hope within you had died, and was sucking the soul out of your husband then.

  The first time you made love was still vibrant, striking, breathtaking. His hands ran down your sides, the one on your right travelling across the expanse of your belly your belly to cup your heat as his right smoothed over your hair. Your eyes were half-lidded as his thumb tentatively pressed against your clit, sucking in a deep breath. He leant down and kissed you promptly, to distract you as his fingers invaded and slithered in and out smoothly.

  “I love you,” he had whispered, for the first time ever, before letting his length replace his fingers. Your back arched into his chest, your eyes rolling as your head fell back. He kissed your neck, and started moving. You could still remember the pace and firmness his length had against your walls from that time. Unnaturally exquisite.

  Your mind fleeted back to when you held the hand you wanted to grow old holding for the last time, before letting go forever. Yuta stood beside you, his black shirt stained with your tears as he struggled to keep himself together.

  When he asked you to marry him, it was after one of those dates spontaneously decided. He got your burgers, fries, shakes. And since he knew your period made you crave more, he got you a cheesecake. Mostly, he let you split the bills. But that day, he didn’t even let you carry your wallet.

  After you were done eating, he took your hands in his and looked into your eyes.

  “Marry me,” he begged.

  You started crying, it was an instant yes. He slipped the ring in your finger, and you hit him when you realised he took advantage of Mother Nature’s call and your love for food.

  And in less than a month, you both got married.

  And then, as you sat by the window and the lightning struck, you were widowed in less than a year. You wanted him to touch you, kiss you, crawl up to the end of the bed as you sat reading your books and acted totally indifferent to his advances. You wanted to hold his hand and walk around the neighbourhood after dinner, talking about how your day went. You wanted to rush back home and kiss him to the bed where all your fantasies would just rejuvenate and come true. You wanted him to fill you up and he nuzzled in the crook of your neck, playing a kiss before his lips trailed down to kiss the top of your breasts.

  Hell, you just wanted him to lay down beside you and lazily drape his arms around your waist. You wanted to run your fingers through his hair. You wanted him to kiss your nose. You just wanted him.

  But, he was gone to never come back. And you were left alone to rot in the void enveloping your life.