#this was really just an excuse for me to write lucius and pete being sweet

[izzy-b-hands]

I don't know why I love writing fics in which at least part of the crew are being Useless while something horrible happens to the ship, but that's the streak I seem to be on with the latest drafts, this one included.

We have: a sinking ship, not enough buckets, a talented pirate and wonderful boyfriend, and somehow Izzy and Stede have found their comfort in a stressful situation by shouting at each other. It's not a healthy way to cope, but it is a Way.

---

"It's okay if you don't like it," Pete cleared his throat awkwardly. "I mean, I already made you one wooden finger so maybe you don't want another and it isn't that one is better than the other, although improvement is always good-"

"Take a breath," Lucius kissed his cheek, and held out his hand.

Pete gently dropped a wooden box there. "Seriously, if it isn't your thing-"

But he paused as Lucius opened the box and grinned.

"Is this a promise ring?" He held up a new wooden finger, but this one with a ring carved into it, an unpainted gem shape made to look as if it was delicately placed in the ring's setting.

Pete nodded rapidly. "I know we didn't like. Discuss it, but I was just thinking and then I got to working on it and...you like it?"

Lucius pulled him in for a soft kiss. "I love it. And the gem is a...?"

"Whatever you want it to be," Pete replied. "I wanted you to choose that. Then we can find something to paint it however you like."

"Here, hold this one while I get it on," Lucius giggled and switched the prosthetics out, the original one safely in the now-empty box.

"Oh, that's lovely," Stede said as he paused by them. "Pete, your handiwork is incredible!"

"Stede! We need those buckets!" Izzy emerged from below deck, soaked to the skin. "Who fucking wrecks their ship on the shipwreck of another ship?!"

"Us!" Ed called helpfully from below deck.

"Oh yes!" Stede smiled cheerfully. "The ship is sinking, so if you can come help bail-oh, though maybe not Lucius, you don't want to ruin that."

"Can you at least hand me one of the fucking buckets?" Izzy asked, exasperated, all of a foot away from Stede with a hand outstretched.

"Actually, I did a waterproof coating on it, including the leather bit to keep it on," Pete said. "That way he can wear it during work too."

"That is so thoughtful, but I'm just gonna go wait in a dinghy in case we have to leave quickly," Lucius said with a smirk. "If there's anything you want saved, send it my way, I'll make sure we have it on board."

"Oh, we're not actually going to sink," Stede chuckled.

Izzy looked as if he wanted to drown himself in the rapidly rising water, coming up the stairs towards the main deck. "I wouldn't count on that, at the moment. Unless you'd like to finally fucking hand me those bu-"

"Relax," Stede sighed, and handed over one of the two empty buckets he was holding. "We'll keep bailing, and it'll be fine. Stop freaking out!"

"I'm not freaking out, but you should be!" Izzy shouted back as he stepped up to Stede defiantly.

"Oh my fucking god," Jim grumbled and sloshed up the stairs, yanking one bucket from Izzy and the other from Stede. "Either get more buckets and help bail, or jump overboard! I am not dying here!"

Before they stepped away, they peered at Lucius' finger. "That's gorgeous! Pete?"

Pete nodded bashfully. "We'll be down in a moment."

"Good," Jim sighed. "And that had better mean all of you."

"We should reprimand them for that," Izzy said in obvious shock as they watched Jim work their way back below deck. "Probably."

"You could do that," Stede said.

"You're the original captain," Izzy noted.

" For fuck's sake, neither of you are going to do it, because both of you are scared Jim will kill you in your sleep, as we all should be, because if that's happening, we probably deserve it," Lucius snapped. "Now, I'm going to collect things for the dinghy, you all go help bail, and we'll all try not to drown!"

"What the fuck is happening here?" Izzy muttered, exchanging slightly befuddled glances with Stede. "Orders being dished out from every fucking-"

"The ship's sinking," Pete smiled and interrupted him, as he trotted past them to head below deck.

"He's not wrong," Stede said.

"No, he's not," Izzy grumbled. "Where are the rest of the buckets?"

"Well, we have the three-"

"Three?!"

Below deck, Ed paused at the sound of shouting above them. He was just tall enough to not yet have to hold his breath as water sloshed violently from wall to wall. "So...they aren't coming back down to help, are they?"

"No," Jim replied, popping out of the water to take a breath. "They'll be drowned, and still arguing, and not realize they're dead until a day later at this rate. But if we keep going, they might live to scream at each other another day."

Ed nodded, handed over another full bucket to be tossed off the ship, and wondered if the empty marmalade jars in their quarters wouldn't work as very small buckets in a pinch.