#this was me trying to keep it spoiler free/lite

[pencilofawesomeness]

Meet the Blorbos [Part 2/2]

(The propaganda continues)

KALIM AL-ASIM

The incredibly wealthy heir of a merchant family, Kalim is so wholesome it hurts. He’s based off of the sultan from Aladdin, but he is just as easily Jasmine if you look at the context. Either way, Kalim is an extremely optimistic individual who stubbornly refuses to accept the trauma he probably should have on account of countless attempts on his life due to his status and maintains his sunshine disposition through willpower and a painful amount of obliviousness. He wants everyone to be able to be happy and to live life to the fullest, and he has a endless amount of compassion; unfortunately, despite his belief to the contrary, Kalim lacks quite a bit in the understanding department, often leading to innocent, but not inconsequential, mishaps. Much like a golden retriever puppy, Kalim is a very pure-hearted extrovert who unfortunately does not realize that not everyone is an extrovert. Or a fan of parades.

JAMIL VIPER

Jamil is quite possibly the most stressed individual you will ever meet. This is largely due to the fact that he is in charge of Kalim’s well being, a duty assigned to him from a very young age, and made difficult both by Kalim’s often threatened safety and his tendency to be kinda airheaded. Jamil is based off of Jafar, but being that his one life goal is to have a damn break, and his Type A tendency to do everything on top of being expected to be able to do everything, he is also largely Genie shaped. Jamil is constantly under pressure, both external and internal, and lives in perpetual stress and anxiety. Unfortunately Jamil is allergic to asking for help (though he also has a lot of built in fear that this is a failure, and failure leads to consequences for him and his family) and also to being honest about his feelings, which leads to him bottling up all of his resentment until it explodes. A totally healthy coping mechanism, to be sure. He is very intelligent, both functionally and when it comes to navigating other people. Often times this means schemes, as Jamil is perfectly fine with manipulating people and situations into being calm and favorable. Outside of the ongoing struggle that is his life, Jamil is the type to treasure his alone time or his hobbies, be it breakdancing, cooking, or travel planning. (Somebody get this boy a nap, a hug, and a weighted blanket.)

VIL SCHOENHEIT

Vil is a young man of many talents—acting, modeling, fashion, Being a Queen... For someone based off of the Evil Queen and generally concerned about his image, Vil is not a vain person. He simply believes in hard work, and that being your best self—both outwardly presentable and in decorum—is a natural conclusion of tenacity, an uphill journey that will never end. (Yes, that does sound exhausting; it is.) His tendency to project his own impossible standards onto other people is a bit frustrating, but Vil himself is easily frustrated by people not being their best selves. That said, he is the reasonable sort, and Vil does try really hard to look out for those around him. And, just as Vil wants everyone to be their best self, he would like people to see that of him too—and... to stop being type cast as a villain, even from back when he was a kid. Turns out, that does funny things to your self-esteem. Although Vil has a wonderful grasp on his sense of self and his gender security, so he’s got some good stuff going on.

EPEL FELMIER

Epel is the most feral gremlin in this entire game, and it is a game full of feral gremlins. He is a tiny lad (often mistaken for a girl, even) but he possesses the rage only a farmboy from the middle of nowhere can. Much like the poison apple he is allegedly based off of (he’s one of the looser ones), Epel dreams of a world where he can solve all of his problems through violence, and he would love to be big and buff enough to do that. (Yes, he does have self-image problems, like all good Pomefiore students.) Unfortunately for Epel, he’s in the fancy fashionista dorm (and he lost a fist-fight with Vil) so he has to pull back and be a respectable member of society. Though Epel does learn the merit of speaking softly and carrying brass knuckles. Epel is also a generally active guy, and isn’t one to idle about; he likes being helpful, especially to his friends and to those he respects.

ROOK HUNT

Quite possibly the most insane character in this game, Rook is an Experience. (Both to viewers and to the other characters.) He is both based on the Huntsman from Snow White and a literal hunter, but what kind of “hunter” perpetually remains unclear. He has a habit of stalking people and cataloguing every detail about them, and occasionally says off-the-wall remarks about hypothetical violence, but Rook is far more likely to end his sneak attack with a riveting poem in your honor than a killing blow. (Not that the latter is out of the question for him.) Rook may be just a wee bit completely unhinged, but he means well and he hands out compliments unbarred. He appreciates life in all aspects, and the beauty thereof, and seeks to study and discover everything there is. He is extremely optimistic and is the giver of the best honest-to-goodness positive reinforcement one can receive, even if they are not asking for it. (Especially if they are not asking for it.)

IDIA SHROUD

Idia is the poster child for geeks, weebs, and introverted gamers everywhere. (And for soul-crushing grief and depression. And anxiety.) The game claims he is derived from Hades, but he’s actually Megara; either way, it’s not important. Idia is a full-blown genius who dedicates his talents to gaming, geekdom, avoiding people, and to his robotic little brother, whom he loves very much. Despite being a tall, shark-toothed individual with flaming blue hair, Idia is not the brave sort. He has terrible social anxiety and a habit of going non-verbal when he is stressed. Not to say that he doesn’t have a stubborn streak and a habit of pushing people’s buttons. Due to very unfortunate family circumstances, outside of everyone’s control, Idia’s life is pretty much set for him, and he’s accepted this. If he had his way, he would just hunker down and live life day-to-day and game-to-game. However, his lack of ambition is belied by the fact that he can and will move heaven and earth for his little brother.

ORTHO SHROUD

Ortho is Idia’s little brother in every sense of word, even if he is a fully robotic being. The game is absolutely unclear as to who he represents, but depending on which aspect you look at, he is either Hades or Hercules. (Yes, those are contradictory; yes, it makes sense, I promise, but spoilers.) Regardless, Ortho is the most wholesome bean, and his willingness to deal hilariously lethal levels of laser-based damage does not change this. Ortho constantly wants to learn new things, and he is always willing to help people out in any way that he can, be it patching injuries or being Google. He especially wants to help his older brother, who he thinks the world of, even if Ortho is often frustrated by his antisocial tendencies and negative outlook. (Ortho is often the one nagging Idia into self-care, to mixed success.) He is a ray of sunshine to be protected at all costs—except for the fact that he is literally an entire state-of-the-art arsenal.

MALLEUS DRACONIA

A lot of characters in this game are quite powerful, but as one of the Top Five Mages in-world, Malleus takes the case. He is a dragon-fae and the crown prince of an infamous yet mysterious fairy kingdom called Briar Valley, and—you guessed it—based off of Maleficent. Being a super powerful (magically and politically) and super scary dragon prince, as well as possessing an intense RBF and a penchant to attempt to be jokingly threatening, often means that pretty much everyone is scared of him. Anyway, Malleus is a huge dork and he can talk about gargoyles for hours if given the chance. He is rather introvertive and he values his long walks and alone time, but he also craves companionship and doesn’t want to disappoint people or be a letdown. He is the fae equivalent of a (sheltered) teenager, despite being older than most humans, so he gets the double-whammy of being young and old and thus is bad at social situations and at technology. He doesn’t even know how to send emails. All in all, he is a bit of an air-head, and time management eludes him, but he means well.

LILIA VANROUGE

He may or may not be a reference to that little bat henchmen in Sleeping Beauty, but it doesn’t matter. Lilia is the Dad of the Diasomnia squad—quite literally. Also belonging to the fae, his eternal smol-ness belies that he is actually probably centuries years old. He just most likely missed out on a high school education on account of being a military general and the right-hand to the Queen of Briar Valley. He raised Malleus as a surrogate parent and he also raised Silver from infancy, and as Sebek’s mentor he is parent-shaped yet again. Not that this stops Lilia from being a chaotic gremlin. He loves to joke around, sing heavy-metal, play video games, and jump scare people, enjoying life to the fullest whenever possible.

SILVER [VANROUGE]

A human raised by Lilia in a nation of fae, Silver is a very earnest and straightforward character, often unconcerned by his lack of fitting in. He might be based off of Aurora, or maybe Philip—or if you ask me, he’s Mulan—but regardless, Silver is a pure-hearted hard worker. He loves his father very much, and as a palace guard, he is wholly devoted to Malleus as well. He is most likely narcoleptic, but that does not stop him from diligently training himself to improve in his duties. Sometimes he can be a bit airheaded, whether it be his tendency to follow instructions literally or his assumption that others are as honest and straightforward as he is, but that doesn’t mean that Silver isn’t a capable guard and friend.

SEBEK ZIGVOLT

He’s probably a reference to that crocodile-goon from Sleeping Beauty, considering how many crocodile jokes are made at his expense, but it doesn’t matter. A fellow guardsmen and attendant to Malleus, alongside Silver, he takes his job seriously. Far too seriously. Sebek is rather over dramatic in most everything he does, because he wants nothing more than to (make his prince and mentor proud) ensure the glory and safety of his liege. His dedication to making sure everyone knows how great Malleus is often leads to him being sort of racist against humans, a fact which exasperates literally everyone—and is extra unfortunate because Sebek is half-human himself. (Yes, he has some self-worth issues.) For all of his ability to drive people up the wall, Sebek does everything he does with 120% effort and sincerity (and volume), and even if his tunnel vision makes him miss the obvious, his efforts pay off. Once Sebek figures out how to start to make friends, his intensity reveals a rather pure-hearted enthusiasm.

What is Twisted Wonderland and how would you sell someone on it?

Ohoho. Ohohohoho. Anon. You have activated my trap card >:D

(I'm about to be soooo annoying/unhinged and I'm sorry. I'm not.)

Alright, so:

Twisted Wonderland is a Disney mobile game made in Japan and co-produced by Aniplex. (Yes, that Aniplex.) I'm not here to sell you on the game, so much as the story, but it is a sort of story-book rpg with turned based fights and rhythm games, where you build character units from a gacha pull. As far as gameplay goes, it's very simple, and most of the emphasis lies on the characters and the story. And it's wonderful.

The on-the-box description of this game doesn't do it justice, per se, but that might be because Disney has a little bit of influence on it and they suck at knowing who their target audience is. It is about a high school based on classic Disney villains—but no, not in the way you're thinking, because I once made that mistake too. It is not a villain school. Rather, the world of Twisted Wonderland is its own entity, with characters built as sort of nods or foils to classic Disney characters. The world itself is somewhat built with these films as its past, and history has become so twisted (ha) that modern society views some of these classic villains as the heroes or supporting characters of their stories, and respect them as The Great Seven. (The seven in question being the Queen of Hearts, Scar, Ursula, Jafar, the Evil/Raven Queen, Hades, and Maleficent. None of them are remembered by name, though.)

The game takes place in the modern era, a society with both technology and magic. Specifically, it takes place in a magic high school called Night Raven College, an all-boys dormitory prep school where the only requirement to get in is a magic mirror that peers into your soul and determines whether or not you can a) do magic and b) kin the Great Seven. And, of course, the player character is a regular-ass human who gets isekai'd in and gets stuck with a talking magic cat direbeast named Grim.

Now. That is the general synopsis. I, on the other hand, affectionately call this the Mental Breakdown game.

See, here's the kicker. The magic system is pretty nifty; while it's functions as a standard magic-is-magic sort of soft system, it has ✨consequences✨

Magic has this byproduct called blot. It's this icky stuff that builds up when you a) use too much magic and/or b) are emotionally distressed. But less so in a "I'm panicked right now" sort of way and more so in a "I have chronic depression and/or anxiety" sort of way. And, when a mage is powerful enough, and sad boi enough, and then goes and uses way too much magic and sad boi juice in one sitting, this amazing phenomenon occurs called "overblot"—which is pretty much a super-powered evil form that turns the mage into the darkest form of themselves and then uses magic until they die.

Naturally, this happens in the game. A lot. The formula is pretty much that each "book" of the story, there is an overblot. One for each of the seven dorms, which are based off of the seven villains/the movies they come from. (And "based on" is pretty loose. Yes you can see the similarities, but these are dumb teenage boys with their own hopes and aspirations, and, sometimes, the game completely lies to you about what character they emulate the most. The guy who's Jafar? Well yes but he's actually just a really stressed out Genie stand in. The Hades guy? Whoops that's Meg. Is that a card soldier or the White Rabbit? Doesn't matter, he's got problems.)

The characters are so well written. I could gush about them forever, and they are the driving points of this plot and it means everything to me. They are some of the most traumatized and messed up individuals, but also, they are dumb teenage boys who do dumb teenage boys things. It is all incredibly well balanced and startlingly realistic for a game that amounts to beating the emotional constipation around people. Mostly because it cannot be beat out of them. The blot can, but they have to deal with their emotions with their own two hands, with varying levels of success.

And the shenanigans!!!! Oh, the shenanigans. I call this the Emotional Trauma game but I have once laughed so hard someone heard me through the floor. It's not all doom and gloom for sure. Sometimes you're watching your friend fall apart because his toxic mother instilled debilitating perfectionism and slowly start making enemies of everyone and sometimes you're sending three of the most gremlin students plus one cinnamon roll to infiltrate a gala that a bunch of weather fairies are throwing in the greenhouse because they stole your temperature regulating magestone to be shiny jewelry and you want it to stop snowing inside your dorm room. And sometimes you can have the exact same character who experienced losing his little brother right in front of him gush about a magical girl sledding anime and all of his gacha games. It is the best of both worlds.

And, that's not all! No, no. We get amazing character interactions. Not just pre-determined friend group interactions, but also random interactions. Yana Toboso (the writer/artist) really likes to stick names in a jar sometimes and make them interact and it is the best thing ever. Every single one of these characters I hold in my hands. Every single one of them gets to have their moment to shine. You can emotionally invest in all of them and be rewarded for it.

The game itself is free and pretty easy to get into. There's not really a bad power creep so you can get through it with what you got. Of course the fun part of collecting cards is that there are stories attached to them that you can watch, and those are also sources of joy. (And it's well documented, so you can find things online pretty easily to catch up and see more.)

I just think it's neat. (Read: I accidentally became wholly obsessed with this game and its characters and they are all blorbos to me.)

You should definitely fall into this rabbit hole with me :))) It's so worth it :)))

[amelias-zelda-calamity-quintet]

If y'all have worldbuilding questions by the way about MoaH, please feel free to send them in as asks. I really enjoyed doing the in-character prompts for release week, they were a lot of fun and good character voice exercises. If y'all have questions for me or the cast, drop them in the ask box any time! I have a couple ideas for more of the in-character posts, but I'd also love to hear what in this Hyrule you're interested in learning about. Or somewhere else, this is a wider than Hyrule story. I'll list a few of the ideas I have currently for prompts and y'all can drop them or others in the ask box if you'd like to hear from the cast. And I keep anon on for this kind of thing, ask as much as you'd like.

Gerudo language & Dirjaani culture

Magic Evolution, Divine Blessings, & the Gerudo (some lite book 3 spoilers) (I already wrote it)

The Pantheon around the world (it’s written)

Modern understanding of the Cycle

Literally any of the countries w/ Zelda

Any of the monsters w/ Link, Saddiqah, and/or Ambrose

More in depth notes on any of the races

If a question gets too close to a spoiler for the plot, I will not give a direct answer. I'd like folks to get to experience those when they come out. You might get a clue on where to watch in plot in relation, but you won't get direct answers until it's out in release. Answers will also change based on what arc of the story is currently considered spoilers. So any coy trying to get the main duo to answer about each other will vary based on where we are in release.

[goldieghoulie]

Threads research (chapter 9)

So, as it may be of some interest, and perhaps for my own reference later, I've decided to make some effort to compile the references I used while writing chapters of Threads of Fate

For those not familiar with Threads: think of it as a historical romance novel meets Ghost fanfic. But I mainly use it as my justification in researching the early 14th century. The years covered in Threads are 1312-1318.

Caveats: I am not a historian, just a nerd. As this is just a hobby, I spend my time researching things that are interesting to me, not necessarily the "important" bits.

Now, with that chunk of background out of the way, let's go!

Spoilers lite for Chapter 9 below the cut

Random bits

There's not too many rabbit holes this time as the chapter was more focused on Isabel and Secondo than what was around them. Nevertheless, in roughly the order they occur in the chapter, here are the things I spent way too long researching.

Provisions that are edible when frozen. The temperature at the start of the sled journey is supposed to be around -15c to -20c which means things will freeze pretty quickly. Modern recommendations for below-freezing trips tend to rely on modern food (e.g. link NB: it's in Norwegian). I had thought of them simply eating crispbread with toppings but was afraid that the toppings would be frozen. Solved this with Ghoul magic instead lol

Were inns a thing in the 1300s? So yes, at least in an Anglo context (the plight of trying to research in English I'm sure) link. I gave up without too much of a fight in trying to figure out what inns were like in Sweden at the time. We're just saying they're all roughly analogous I did make the authorial choice of not having Isabel and Secondo share a bed with more people. Bed sharing used to be a great deal more common. But for obvious plot reasons (and because of modern opinions of bed sharing) Isabel and Secondo got their own bed and room.

Hair and head coverings: I am basing Isabel's hair and cap on how Morgan Donner has styled her hair here. St. Birgitta was alive in the 14th century (although later than Isabel) so the cap and hairstyle feel accurate and more suited to travel than her usual more free styles. Although, now that we're talking hair/fashion, just going to drop the Codex Manses (browse virtually here) as largely what I am basing hair/fashion off of

Sleds

Because I'm not starting these info dumps at the same time as the story, here's my big question from Chapter 8: what were sleighs/sleds like then?

The real problem is that we have basically no evidence for this era specifically (or none that I could find. Historians please pass me references if you have them!). Watching part of this informative video was useful, however they quickly go beyond the early 1300s.

We have evidence from the Norwegian Oseberg viking burial (dated to the 9th century) of beautifully decorated sleds:

But that's obviously like 400+ish years before Threads. Which means that they're valid, but possibly antiquated. Using the work done here we can look at the manuscripts they reference for the 1300s and...

Well, let's be real. Neither of those are going to work to transport Secondo and Isabel. So what other cold weather climate peoples can we think of? The Russians? How old is the troika? 17th century, damn. Dog sleds were definitely a thing, but I'm not sure about Secondo and Isabel dog sledding across Sweden (even if the huskies are adorable to think about). So, I guess I'll just riff on the Oseberg sled and maybe add some more comfort/size.

This is obviously more modern, but what if we combine elements? Move the driver(s) up to the front and give Isabel and Secondo space in the back? Yeah, I'll just do that. Close enough, right? 😅😂

That's all I can think of for the moment. If y'all find these sorts of mini dives into 14th century life interesting let me know and I'll keep them going for the chapters as they come out

[n-hospital]

okay time for my own messy fionna and cake analysis post. spoilers below the cut

the story is only six episodes in and it's already very dark and has very strong philosophical points and whatnot about identity, but it's showing signs of getting much, much worse. simon feels alien outside of his madness and all alone in the world after losing betty forever (again) and he is currently actively trying to get back to being miserable and insane because "he seemed happier" and he feels it would make him fit into the crazy world of ooo again. and his identity issues are also projected onto fionna, she feels completely out of place in her own world and there is something very wrong with her (affectionate) and a lot of sorrow and anger in her heart. she could never keep anything steady and her life was a shitty mess. however, all her counterparts from the og adventure time (marshall, gumball, etc) do not feel it. only she feels out of place and tormented by an ambiguous sense of unbelonging.

even the selfcest jokes with winter king x simon, although funny, have some really dire undertones. is winter king still simon? is he still ice king? he is seemingly what simon believed would be the "half point" between him and ice king but he just inherited both of their worst traits (simon's profound loneliness and inability to move on as shown with ice marcy and suggesting simon makes an ice betty, and ice king's very unsettling harmful whimsy and lack of morals) while being sexy as hell sentient and aware of his actions... to some degree.

and don't even get me started on fionna and cake /literally/ sucking the magic out of things just by TOUCHING them for too long. that's extremely unsettling. imagine you finally find a place that is your dream of belonging in a freaky magic up world but existing in it, experiencing it, is killing it. you are killing your dream life by existing.

because your existence was made on a whim by a bored god-lite and stored in the brain of a crazy magical god-lite and now that he's just normal and depressed and no longer magic, so are you and everything you touch, and that is far beyond your control. you were born for someone's entertainment and despite being your own person you aren't really your own person.

you have free will but it ruins the world around you. you don't belong anywhere because you were not meant to exist. there is no you. you are a hollow shell and copy of a person who doesn't really know or care you exist. everything about you was an accident, from your birth, your life being shitty, and to you coming to a magical dream world.

[itsmearia]

New to Arknights - IS3 beaten!

I love love love roguelikes/lites and Arknights having a mode was one of the selling points given to me by a friend to try the game out. Ever since I started playing I would throw on IS2 now and again and just see how far I could go - which was never very far because I had a newer roster and didn't really understand some of the more intricate strategies in the game. For example, even though it was explained to me early on it still took me a long time to truly understand how deployment order was a big deal and how placing the healer before the defender could save the healer 30 enemies from now.

I don't think I ever beat a mini boss in IS2 but I always enjoyed playing it. They recently brought out a new version called IS3 and I decided to give it a serious whirl this week because a.) I've gotten better at the game since I last tried IS2, b.) I've gotten a lot of good operators since then, and c.) I was able to beat a CC for the first time the other day so why not try and see what I can do with this one.

It started with a lot of failures but eventually I was able to beat the first boss and got real excited for a minute before I promptly got smashed in an encounter where I said "sure, I'll dance with you" and then had my corpse danced upon by a wall of giant summoner things that I mistakenly woke up. Progress though!

Then I had another good attempt past the first boss that ended when Texas Alter got the debuff where she'd get frozen for 15 seconds on deployment and uh, yeah that's real bad and I died on the next fight.

A handful of attempts later I actually made it to the final boss. I was doing well but the second phase of the boss just crushed me as I deployed my operators in too tight of a formation.

Today though! Today:

Along the way I got Tex Alter upgraded, Goldenglow upgraded (shout outs to my previous GG post, this cat is incredible!), ch'en upgraded, and Penance to compliment some snipers like my girls Bloopie and Kroos. They all combined to keep chipping away at the big jellyfish and it eventually went down.

It's a very fun game mode! I can't believe it's just there to play for free whenever I want without Sanity and even gives good rewards. If anyone else is newer to the game like I am and likes roguelikes then definitely check it out because the rush of winning it is great. Now I guess I have to figure out the deckbuilding game cause I haven't been able to beat that yet.

And I'll end this with a wonderful screenshot from the end with a relatable quote (which may be a spoiler, idk? I'll just pop it under the keep reading thing just in case):

[hrokkall]

hey! I'm considering playing The Hex as someone who very much enjoys Inscryption and its lore. do you recommend it/have any advice for playing?

Hey—I’m just seeing this message now, I’ll try to answer it as thoroughly as I can.

Right off the bat, some disclaimers. I do recommend the Hex, but it’s not the game for everyone. In the same way that Inscryption takes several harsh lefts into “Hey, what the hell just happened?” the Hex also revels in at least a little bit of incoherence at all times (which is true of all of Daniel Mullins’s games honestly, so if you’re fine with that then that’s not an issue).

Additionally, if you’re expecting the Hex to provide a ton of additional context to Inscryption, it doesn’t. There’s a couple of easter egg appearances from the game (see: the kraken card, the amoeba, mox cards… sort of), and a couple of characters + concepts are referenced/otherwise make an appearance (Rebecha, Sado, training dummy, Gamefuna as a company) but that’s about it. They are standalone games that just so happen to take place in the same universe. If you enjoy the universe that Daniel Mullins has created/the style of his games, I absolutely suggest you check out both the Hex and Pony Island! But if you’re going into it expecting Inscryption: Lite that’s not what you’re going to get (and that’s coming from someone who played the Hex solely to learn what was up with Rebecha and ended up getting wrapped up in the rest of the game’s story along the way).

If you’re still interested, here’s a couple more quick notes about the game itself (keeping it spoiler free, of course):

Art style: While Inscryption and Pony Island both have a stylistic shift halfway through, the Hex… really doesn’t. I’ve seen a few people who don’t check it out solely because they don’t like the art style; if that’s your main gripe with the game, just know it doesn’t have any major changes throughout.

Content: Content warnings for the Hex are pretty much the same as Inscryption (though the Hex is a lot more violent, weirdly enough); if you are photosensitive do not ignore the warning at the beginning of the game, there are DEFINITELY flashing lights with no means of turning them off/avoiding those sequences. As for general content… it’s a little tough to pin down what the Hex is about. If you enjoy murder mysteries, RPGmaker games, clowns, post-apocalyptic westerns, tech company workplace violations, and spoofs that bear a little too much resemblance to certain Nintendo properties, you’ll probably like at least one part of the Hex. Having said that, you’re annoyed by meta narratives I don’t recommend it—the Hex is a lot heavier on that than Inscryption is.

Gameplay: I couldn’t tell you what genre of game the Hex is. It’s about six different games in one single game. Point is, if you find any specific segment difficult/tedious, it doesn’t stay that way for long outside of brief callbacks (for example, there’s a section of the game that plays like a fighting game; this is briefly brought back later as a nod to the character having her origins in said fighting game). Not a difficult game by any means, but I’d recommend a mouse rather than a trackpad if you have one.

Time: The game is about four to six hours long on the first playthrough, assuming you don’t intend on finding every secret the first time around (and believe me, there are a TON of secrets… though similar to Inscryption, finding them tends to raise more questions than they answer).

TL;DR: I enjoyed the Hex but it’s a weird ass game for sure. Of the two I definitely prefer Inscryption (though I don’t think that’s a really fair comparison), but for what it is I liked the Hex and am always happy to see more people checking it out :]

If you have any specific questions, feel free to message me. My inbox is open and so are my PMs—I promise I don’t mind

[darklove9314-blog]

Nessian Mating Cermony

Happy Nessian month!!! Since I already wrote my version of Nessian’s mating ceremony in my fanfiction Symphonia,I thought I’d share it again on here because I love it so much. Also this Fic does contain spoilers for ACOSF so read at you own risk!!! @illyrianet

Not having second thoughts, are you?” Elain asked placing the last of the flowers in Nesta’s braid as Nesta stared out the window surveying the preparations for the mating bond ceremony down below.

“Not at all.” Nesta smiled turning away from the window as a soft cry filled the room.

“Sorry. He’s been fussy lately.” Feyre explained, exhaustion filling her eyes accentuating the dark circles underneath them as Nesta strode over to them holding out her arms.

“May I?” Nesta asked. She hadn’t put on her dress yet and they still had a few more hours to spare.

“Only if you’re sure.” Feyre answered handing Nyx over to Nesta. Her nephew fitting comfortably in her arms. Still fussing but staring at her with those big blue eyes staring at her with wonder.

“Hello, little one.” She cooed running a hand over his black hair trying to soothe him. Feyre taking a seat in the nearest chair, exhaustion finally taking over.

The baby reached up touching Nesta’s cheek as she rocked him back and forth, her sisters looking at both.

“What?” She asked Nyx squirming in her arms probably wondering why she stopped. She continued to rock him.

“Nothing.” Feyre smiled as Nesta patted Nyx’s back, a small burp falling from his mouth. Some spit up getting on Nesta’s shirt.

Nesta shrugged grabbing the tissue Elain offered and cleaning it off.

“I think we found out the reason why he was fussy.” Nesta laughed, her nephew smiling handing him back to Feyre.

“Are you ready to get dressed?” Elain asked excited as she went to where the dress hung.

“Yes.” Nesta answered excitement filling her as she slipped off her clothes before Feyre and Elain helped her in the dress.

She went to the full-length mirror and inspected herself, her breath catching slightly.

The mating dress she had chosen was a long sleeve high neck dress with full skirts and a lace bodice. She had opted for flowers in her hair and no crown like Cassian had joked about. There was no need for one. Tonight, she would officially be mated to the love of her life and she for one couldn’t wait to see what their future would hold.

A knock sounded from the door and Emerie emerged smiling.

“You look beautiful.” She said, Gwyn coming in behind her.

“You came.” She smiled pulling both into a hug.

“We wouldn’t miss this for the world.” Gwyn answered the light catching her red hair.

“You’re almost ready.”

“Almost?” Nesta asked as they all pulled something out, Nesta lifting a brow. “What is this?”

“You’ll have to give it back after the ceremony, but I thought you might want to burrow it for the day.” Gwyn said taking her friendship bracelet and clasping it beside Nesta’s on her wrist.

“I have these blue garters in the shop.” Emerie smiled as Nesta slipped it on.

“When I went to the rainbow the other day and I saw this thought of you.” Feyre smiled. The silver comb in her hand as she placed it in Nesta’s hair and then she turned to Elain.

“I know we don’t have much, but I figured you would want this today.” Elain smiled as Elain gave her a dagger, the handle made of wood.

“It has flames on it.” She smiled as she turned to Feyre.

“We may have refurnished that old dresser.” Feyre smiled. “Elain and I have similar ones.”

Nesta smiled at her sisters. Tears coming to her eyes. “You did all this for me?”

“We may be fae, but it doesn’t mean we have to let go of everything.” Feyre smiled as Gwyn, Emerie, Feyre, and Elain pulled her into a hug, and she stood there letting the love of her sister’s flow through her.

Gwyn squeezed her hand as her and Emerie went to go stand with their small group of friends and family as her, Feyre and Elain remained. The fae didn’t have the same traditions as mortal weddings. Bridesmaids were not a thing in the fae world, so Nesta would stand up there alone with Cassian and the priestess who would officiate their mating ceremony.

“I’ll be up front.” Elain stated squeezing Nesta’s hand before heading out the door out with Nyx to the sitting area.

“Are you ready for this?” Feyre asked taking Nesta’s hand in her own.

“Will you walk me down to him?” Nesta asked as Feyre smiled.

“Of course, I will.” Feyre answered as the doors sliding her arm into Nesta’s as she opened the doors and Nesta took everything in.

Music played from the Symphonia signaling her arrival. Candles lite the isle, garland hung from the ceiling, the windows looking out to the Sidra as lace and silk lined the chairs to the alter and all went quiet. She sensed Gwyn, Elain, Emerie, Feyre, Rhysand, Azriel, Mor, and Nyx in the room, but all fell away as her eyes landed on Cassian. Her lover, her friend, and her mate. His eyes fixed on hers and it was as if they were the only two in the universe.

Tears filled his eyes matching her own as Feyre walked her down to him as Feyre placed Nesta’s hand into Cassian’s and Cassian looked at Feyre a smile on his beautiful face.

“I got her. Don’t worry.” Cassian promised squeezing Nesta’s hand and pulling her to him, her heart beating in time with his. There was nothing else. No one else besides them. His eyes saying all the words that his mouth could not. Keeping her fingers interlaced with his.

“I love you.” He mouthed to her, calming her nerves.

“I love you too.” She mouthed back, her smile brightening the room.

The priestess started off with the opening prayer for their ceremony before they recited their vows to each other promising to love and protect each other for as long as they lived. After they were finished the priestess spoke a prayer to the mother to bless this union with love, peace, and fertility instructing them to open the bond to each other.

Their hearts beat as one as Nesta and Cassian opened their bond to each other, the gold light of their souls flowing into each other illuminating the room with its essence.

When the priestess was finished with her prayer, she looked to both Nesta and Cassian asking if they had brought their mating food.

Elain smiled bringing up the lemon blueberry muffin handing it to Nesta as Azriel gave Cassian the chocolate cake making Nesta smile. Elain had helped Nesta, and Cassian make both. Careful not to interrupt them making it and giving them helpful instructions.

“No turning back now.” Cassian smiled illuminating the room as her smirk matched his.

“Thank the Gods.” She answered offering him the muffin as he offered her a bite of the cake.

The bond sang, his golden thread floating into her as her golden thread flowed into him. Just like it had done during solstice night. Their souls twining as one. And she was not afraid. Of him. Of this. Her lover. Her friend. Her husband. Her mate. She had expected the binding of their wrist next, but Mor smiled coming up to Cassian and placing two wedding bands in his free hand. Her eyebrow lifted in question.

“I heard it’s tradition for husband and wife to exchange rings. “

“Cassian.” She whispered at a loss for words. Tears blurring her vision.

“You are mine, just like I am yours. And I know how important those words are to you as well. You are my mate, but I would also love to call you my wife. And I’d be honored if you called me your husband.”

He set the rings in Nesta’s hand and clasped her other hand on top of it placing his own on them. And without having to say the words, Nesta knew what he wanted her to do letting her power flow through her as she made a wish to be by his side forever the glow from her hands illuminating their bands before she opened her hand, Cassian taking her ring and sliding it on her left hand. The ring feeling like it always belonged there as she took his ring and slid it on his hand. Their worlds colliding, their hearts entwining as one. He leaned forward and kissed her, it holding all the power of the universe.

When the kiss ended, Cassian touched his forehead to hers as the priestess turned to Rhys and Feyre, they stepped up to the alter taking the black ribbon and intertwining their wrist together enchanting it to not fall away until their mating was consummated. Her love and need growing strong for the man before her. The priestess closed the ceremony declaring them mates. And no feeling in the world compared as they brought their mouth together, the room imploding with love, life, and laughter as they smiled at their friends, their family before heading off to finish their mating. Their life together begging at last.

[ponyguru]

My Little Pony: A New Generation Review

By ME, Ponyguru! Because you were all waiting for it, I’m sure! (Hee hee!)

The movie has been out for a couple of days, so I’ll list my general opinion, then add some spoilery bits behind a cut, in case you haven’t seen it yet! It’s on Netflix right now, but I’m sure (if the fandom is keeping up its pace) it’ll be mirrored elsewhere pretty soon.

So, overall: I liked the first MLP movie more than this one. (No, not the 80s one, I mean the one with Tempest Shadow!) That’s not to say that this movie wasn’t enjoyable! It was very fun, and I got some genuine laughs and ‘OMG did you see that?!’ moments out of it. I became invested in the characters! I will be watching it again! And considering that I’m not the market audience (adult woman in her 30s), that’s probably pretty good! But then again, I have watched some truly questionable stuff in the name of pony, so take that as you will.

Highlights: new pony content (always fun!), fun jokes, intriguing plot, nice songs, and the ponies are not quite as human-shaped as I had been afraid. The muzzles are actually pretty well defined from the side, so they look much less like humans than I had feared, based on screencaps and vectors. I was also worried it was going to be Social Justice Lite based on some plot spoilers, so the fact that it wasn’t (and didn’t devolve into Br*ny memes or fandom references) had me incredibly relieved. This may make me more forgiving of the movie as a whole than the average viewer, due to the psychic damage I’ve taken from viewing the Brone Documentary.

Lowlights: the plot feels rushed at the end, the resolution feels hurried; the fact that the villains are never really, uh, addressed? feels weird (I guess I’m used to the clear-cut ‘you are defeated and will face punishment/get redeemed’ pattern from G4), the music isn’t as catchy or hummable as the first movie (none of the songs ‘stuck’ with me, meanwhile Tempest Shadow’s ‘Open Up Your Eyes’ literally stuck with me to the point that I had to buy the soundtrack), some of the characterization feels very shallow and, again, rushed. I felt there was a moment where Izzy referenced not having many friends, and I thought there would be some kind of exploration of that... nope, rushing into another musical number! And, finally, after years of BLM and police brutality protests, the choice of villain feels timely (trying to be vague for the sake of spoilers)... but when one of their ‘friends’ is a ‘by the book, we gotta follow the law’ cop (which they try to soften by calling him a ‘sheriff’, which doesn’t work in a non-American West themed world), makes me distrust him more than anything. I don’t really want to see MLP redeem a cop; I want MLP to be outside of that kind of real-world ugliness. Pony xenophobia is one thing, but pony police forces feel like a step too far, at least in our current society. Even if he’s voiced by the handsome James Marsden!

Okay, some spoilery thoughts beneath the cut! Thanks for reading this far!

Only keep reading if you’ve seen the movie! I’m not kidding about spoilers! :P Proceed with caution!

Okay, so, the villain: ostensibly, it’s Sprout, right? The overpowered cop who has a grandiose sense of self, seizes power, literally pilots a pony-robot and smashes up Sunny’s home.

Why the fuck is his mother allowed to, what, remain in power in Maretime Bay? The movie ends, and it’s all “whoopsie-doopsie, I know I was a xenophobic war-profiteer who fed my followers a fake sense of fear and urgency to the point of creating a mob mentality for the sake of capitalism, but since my son (who I groomed for this) built a Gundam I guess I get off scott free!” What the fuck? First of all, Karen would have been a more fitting name than Phyllis in this case (although Phyllis is funny too, ngl), but she’s allowed to just ... stay in power? We see her standing next to the pegasus and unicorn leaders at the end of the movie, vowing to abolish xenophobia or whatever, but why the hell isn’t she in chains??? (And yes, I’m sure it’s partly because it’s a children’s movie, but that doesn’t mean we should see her face ZERO repercussions!) Alphabittle and the pegasus queen aren’t great leaders, sure; but we also don’t see extended scenes of them war profiteering, either. They both seem like more capable leaders than Phyllis!!

The other ponies, like I said, felt pretty flat, characterization wise; the vibe I got from the movie was that Izzy was incredibly lonely, which while it sets us up nice for some more character exploration in the miniseries, you need to have ... SOME, for the movie itself? Pipp was a super-fun character for me, but that’s because I basically just viewed her as Ariana Grande the pony. I also was waiting for an explanation of why Hitch was so magnetic to animals that ... never happened. Does he eventually get out of sheriffing to be a friend to the animals? Who knows!

I did like how we saw the differentiation between technology levels in the movie; the unicorn forest seemed to have very little if none, whereas earth ponies were more mid-level technology, and pegasi ponies seemed very high-tech. The little advertising/influencer references I caught were all very fun, but I wish they had leaned into the pony references a little harder, like in Zootopia. The icon they used for the pony news show seemed to just be the CBS eye icon. Do ponies have CBS? It felt kind of lazy. That said, I thought I’d hate ponies with cell phones, but they made it very fun, so I enjoyed it! (I definitely had the ‘ha ha, I do that!’ kind of amusement.)

Like I said, the ending felt rushed, and it felt a little bit ‘okay movie’s over now, let’s wrap it up!’ kind of feeling. Okay, Sunny got wings and a horn; it felt almost, idk, a foregone conclusion? Almost like a letdown, like it was so hurried it didn’t feel like it gave the proper payoff. The return of alicorn magic should be a HUGE DEAL, but maybe because her dad was fridged for drama (which never really happened? it felt brushed aside unless Sunny needed to have a 30-second depression which she immediately got over) we didn’t have anyone with the knowledge base to point out how important that was for the other ponies/the viewers. 

Did I mention yet that I still don’t like the idea of having cops as sympathetic characters in the movie, even if they don’t call them cops, even if they have a good cop/bad cop dynamic to make us empathize with one? Because TBH, Hitch was not very endearing to me for a lot of the time (”I love rules” isn’t gonna sell it to me or to kids, I imagine), and the fact that he was a shitty friend to the orphaned Sunny didn’t endear him to me, either. I’m sure it was supposed to show his character growth - first he’s just Phyllis’ lackey, but soon he grows into his own man who sides with Sunny because it’s morally right - but I didn’t really feel that payoff very strongly. I mean ... he’s still a sheriff at the end, right?

All in all, I may just be more critical of this movie because A) I’m an adult and B) I’m viewing it through the eyes of a fan who enjoyed years of pony stories. It may be that all of my nitpicking is something that they chose to gloss over for the sake of the runtime or the young viewers! But I wouldn’t be a fan if I didn’t nitpick, so maybe my nitpicking will be fun to read, at least! I’m curious to see how my viewpoints change after I watch it again, or read more fandom insight. I know I’m someone who goes ‘woah, I didn’t think of that!’ when I read other peoples’ opinion pieces!

While on one hand I do hope the Br*ny thing dies, I hope that the same level of fandom interest won’t fade. I’ve gotten spoiled over the years by having tons of fan art, fan fiction, merchandise info and immediate uploads of episodes to enjoy. I will be very sad if that dies, but if it’s the sacrifice that we need to make to end the B-word stuff, it’s a trade I’m willing to make. Either way, I’ll still be here enjoying pony stuff, and making my own content! It’s just nice to do it with other people!

[keyheartsia-dorm]

*Sighs*

I’m bored let’s do a lore dump

It’s a Map~

Oh Yeah I mentioned a Sprinkle of Final Fantasy and KH but I haven’t talked about that Aspect of my Canon At all have I? Well truth be told it’s cause I’m focusing on getting the more Basic Aspects of my Oc’s Before I get into that but Guess who made this Baby on a Whim!

So this is the Map of the Isle of Light well the Main Island at least there are other Littler Bits of land Yet to surface I̶t̶’̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶t̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶A̶d̶d̶ ̶o̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶L̶a̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶h̶a̶h̶a̶ oh yeah did I mention it’s a FLOATING ISLAND!! Yeah P Sick right? Okay so I’ll go into the Island’s History and it’s Area’s but it may have some Spoilers I guess you could say but honestly I wouldn’t wait on me making a full fledged...Anything outta the Story I’ve made like I’ll sum it up (not here but like in general) but comics are hard Videos are hard Fics are hard maybe not individually but this is more of a Anime Series then an Anime movie if you feel me without further ado...Stuff

Oh god this was longer then expected

Some General Background

So The Isle of Light was Originally the Black Forest A Place of Freedom and Expression for all who lead lives who Needed to hide Such and Some Such was The Coven of the Black Forest made up of 3 sisters (not biologically also there was a 4th) they all found comfort and love with each other one being the Princess of the Kingdom nearby (The 4th and Littlest one) She had a fiancé who was Mad with a Lust for power and Control over things he Didn’t need power and control over He Treated the Littlest one Cruelly when the other 3 Decided enough was enough when he did...SOMETHING to Part of the Forest so Horrible it turned Dead and Cruel (Subtle Subtle Hint Hint Wink) When all 3 Of them saw the Ruin They went so mad they turned to Darkness and fought him and all his Manmade monstrosities there when the Princess Arrived there was so much Dark energy everywhere it was Bad like Real Bad So with her friends now monsters she Fought them with a heavy heart her heart broke so much she fell afterwards immediately Unintentionally Sending her Kingdom to somewhere nobody knows where she is though...That’s an even bigger question BUT the story would live on as a Weilder of the key blade who slayed 3 evil witches...(Oh yeah did I mention Crowley knows And that’s Why He Let the Girls Attend because he thought they might be the Black Forest Coven Reincarnated And the Prophecy that when they Awakened the “Keys to their Hearts once more” They’d Free The Princess From her Mirror Prison Oh Yeah also the princess DID Die But her Reincarnation Goes inside a Mirror and is trapped there when she turns 17 and Doesn’t leave until she dIES ALSO ITS HIS OLDEST DAUGHTER THIS TIME ALSO YES HE HAS 2 DAUGHTERS...Okay lemme just calm down..Also yeah she thought of the Princess System) but After a Wish got safe haven for all Keyblade Weilders (I have KH Oc’s other then these don’t ask Longer story they live and basically founded Fortana Haven) I guess the Isle of Light Rose from the Shadow Realm to be just that oh yeah also the Isle of light is literally that kingdom if ya didn’t know

Fortana Haven

(Some Love Nikki BGs for Visualization if I’m Wrong about this from being from Love Nikki Correct me pls and if this is your art sorry and I’ll take it down)

Okay this Place Basically a Modern Fairytale Everything is so Rustic~ but they Have Cafe’s and Stuff~ They’re still very much in Development as a City..or town..or whatever Boss of everything Locket Clover (An OG KH OC) Runs Everything Wonderfully she welcomes everything with open arms and If you wanna run a shop or want a Building for a particular Thing or Activity she’s Pretty open to the idea unless it’s Incredibly Dumb But she will make you get The Wood and Supplies and The Bricks and the Brick Stick Sauce or whatever it’s called she might get give you help constructing but dang is she a firm believer in “DIY” but I like how she’s Determined to Have a Good Balance between Industrial and Rural In fact there is a Mall (God knows how it got there) And that’s pretty much all there is for your Juicy Capitalism Fix She Runs “Hope Stir” Workshop according to Her boyfriend Ephmer It was always Called a workshop but for the longest time she did EVERYTHING Subtle Farmwork And Animal Husbandry ACTUAL Workshop things all cause she wanted to help every Weilder she knew out and made sure they had a place for food and such She is a bit of a Moneyholic but when you’ve been doing what she’s been doing I bet you’d be too overall While it doesn’t have much History yet Fortana Haven (4-Tana is how you say it btw) Is truly well a Haven

The Crowned Castle

(More Pics for Visuals I don’t think this is from love Nikki but if this is your artwork same applies I’m not gonna be the guy who Claims just cause it’s on google it belongs to everybody or something even though yeah I did find it on google)

The...Crown of the Isle of Light Before We came to the Isle for the first time Apparently Everyone In Fortana thought it was Haunted! Which..Fair enough Before we Placed the Princess Medals (Okay QUICK SUMMARY OF THIS BIT Okay so in the KH Mobile game there’s Medals and I wanted them to be in my story basically They’re Memories formed into powers when all my Oc’s Met the Princess’s Of Heart They Each got a Medal Representing them and then the Medals Restored the Castle I left out some details but basically that’s it) This Castle is the BOMB There’s Cool Pretty Princess Room’s And a Bedroom JUST FOR SLUMBER PARTIES!! And it’s just a good Place to Vibe and Hang out with your friends (I’m sorry I’m about to Lore Dumb all over this place) The Princess’s Fiancé Made a Crown for her before she could put it on he put some of his Subconscious in it poor Eden When she wanted to get stronger for Malleus (Malleus is her adoptive big brother and she was upset cause she felt she wasn’t good enough ran away to get power and found the crown) It really did almost completely overtake her I shudder thinking about it “Kachow”...Ew (The fiancé said that a lot ok) a lotta bad stuff happened here but as selfish as this may sound I feel like I earned my spot here and I wanna keep sharing it with my friends

The Matteria Deadland

(Also Imagine some Pointy Mountains and some Lite Mech debris)

Man What to say... So Much Happened here as well probably Tragedy I can’t comprehend there is a few good places about this place though Diane likes to Scavange around Here for Interesting Debris Eden doesn’t like the Air around here but she says she finds Interesting Jewels here and Latte says the same thing so there is good to be found here We all come here every so often to try to help..Anything grow but they don’t call this deadland for nothing but still ya can’t give up hope! I wanna grow some beautiful Lillies here one day! Also hey! Also pretty cool name (Matter-RI-a is how you say it btw) All the sadness that happened here it actually did make the land rich in Metal if nothing else there’s even a whole Cavern we found in the mountains...it almost killed us but we found it

Opal Cove

(also these are Gacha Backgrounds)

Is this Place an Actual Cove? Idk

Is this Place super cool and pretty? Yeah

Is this one of my favorite places in this whole Isle? FRICK YEAH

okay I love a lot about this Isle but Opal Cove!!

Our mermaid friend Mitella I guess “Runs” the Place Our KINDA merman Friend Skye also spends a whole lotta time here Basically it’s a Giant Pool and rumor has it...It’s endless Water...CAUSE IT IS SOMEHOW CAUSE I KNOW weird thing is the Sand it’s at the end of the Isle so there’s not really a beach just...Sand Near Water Odd The Coral Near the Bottom or well “Bottom” Is SO PRETTY it’s like Crystals in the morning the light shines its SO DANG PRETTY I’m glad Mitella is a Sea Witch Or else we couldn’t go so deep underwater it’s SOOO worth it!! She does NOT let a lotta people at once though Heck she doesn’t like Skye that much from what I can tell but she makes an Exception for ~friends~ So...BE NICE TO OUR CUTE MITELLA I’m glad we have a Convient Place for Blitzball practice and also Swimming around with pretty Mermaid Tails (New Nix Mermaid Action Fashion Doll only 25.99! Get it for your Child or they’ll cry!! Also a 5 dollar Boy doll take his Shirt off! That’s it!) Hyde Mi And Skye are kinda an Iconic Trio Mi Also Teaches how to swim with a mermaid tail better for the Weilders who wanna go to Atlantica Hey Mermaids gotta eat so get a Swim Lesson! (And also a transforming Mermaid Doll!)

Bianco Nero Forest

Well tbh I have the least to say because it’s Appeal is simple ADVENTURE AND MYSTERY! Lots can happen in Bianco Nero it’s Basically the Base foundation of the whole Isle! Presumably cause it’s the Black Forest or was at least though it can be dangerous it’s the only place heartless are know to appear in the whole isle (So where you’ll grind In the Video Game that’ll definitely happen :Says the girl who can’t commit to a single comic) They drop all sortsa cool stuff! Heck you can FIND Cool stuff just...Around so..Yeah!!

It’s 2 am maybe I’ll edit this later thanks for reading sorry I got obviously tired by the end goodbye my dearests~ (Seriously y’all deserve like a reward for reading this dumpster fire) I was inspired by those maps in those scholastic books like the Rainbow Fairies I think it was called (Anyone remember those?) that had lil maps in the beginning and also the map’s stickers all on PicsArt

[aion-rsa]

Those Who Wish Me Dead Ending Explained

https://ift.tt/3uOt7K3

This article contains Those Who Wish Me Dead spoilers. You can read our spoiler-free review here.

What’s on the piece of paper? Why exactly do Aidan Gillen and Nicholas Hoult want this Connor kid dead so badly? The ending of Taylor Sheridan’s Those Who Wish Me Dead is purposefully vague about what all this killing was about. But as a news crew approaches the young lad, played by Finn Little, it becomes clear he is going to tell a story that a lot of shadowy people wanted to keep hidden.

So what is that story and why did so many people have to die for it? The exact details remain hidden, but if we look at the whole structure of the movie, there are enough context clues to have a pretty good idea of what all the dying is for.

It goes back to the beginning of the film where we see Gillen’s Jack and Hoult’s Patrick pass themselves off as local gas and fire authorities in Florida, ingratiating themselves with the wife of an off-screen district attorney—he’s in the shower—and presumably killing both before planting the bomb. We aren’t shown that they physically murder the couple either, but writer-director Sheridan relies heavily on inference throughout the picture. Case in point: Jack and Patrick debating whether the latter needs to go change his shirt because there is a drop of blood on it. This strongly suggests that they killed everyone in the house, even before the explosion.

In the same vein, you can also hear a baby crying off-screen when Jack and Patrick first enter the DA’s home, which means when Patrick later tells Ethan (Jon Bernthal) he won’t kill him or his wife Allison (Medina Senghore) because she’s pregnant, he’s lying through his teeth. In fact, Jack picks going against the shooter at the end over Angelina Jolie’s Hannah because he’s furious about getting the whole Two-Face treatment with the fire to the face earlier in the movie, and he hopes Allison is holding the deer rifle in the woods.

Conveying motivation through implication applies to most of the characters in Those Who Wish Me Dead, and what they’re dying over. When Connor’s father Owen (Jake Weber) sees on the morning news in Jacksonville, Florida that the DA he worked for died “in a gas leak,” he immediately goes on the run with his son, getting farther than the men who wish him dead could have anticipated. And he gives us just enough to know why he is so scared with his confession to his son.

“I’m a forensic accountant,” Owen tells the boy, “which means I look for things that don’t add up. And I found some. The man I worked for, he was killed today because of what I found. But I still know it, which means they’re gonna come after me too.” When his son protests they should go to the police, Owen insists that the police protection didn’t save the DA. “The case implicates a lot of people, son, people with a lot to lose. Governors, congressmen. We can only trust people that we know.”

It’s a wise choice, although trusting the family that he knows is exactly how Jack and Patrick find the father and son so easily. After breaking into the accountant’s home, Patrick coolly spies a family photo of the pair in Montana with Uncle Ethan and Aunt Allison, thereby knowing they’re going to Soda Butte Survival School in Montana. The killers get there by plane long before Owen drives to his doom on the Lewis and Clark Trail.

Still, from what little Owen tells us, we can ascertain that he is an accountant who specialized in tracing money laundering, embezzlement, fraud, and the type of racketeering where organized crime and politics intersect. While we’re never told which politicians are implicated, it’s a fair bet that there are many in the Florida area caught with their hands in a violent, possibly treasonous cookiejar. One is even tempted to speculate it could involve a former president with a Floridian residence (notably Those Who Wish Me Dead was originally due out in 2020), but that is perhaps just imaginative thinking.

The full weight of the menace, however, is exemplified by Tyler Perry who has a tantalizing cameo as “Arthur,” the laconic heavy who makes an unexpected appearance in Montana to apply pressure on Jack and Patrick for failing to kill Connor in the car wreck. We don’t know a lot about Arthur, but the way he says “we promise absolutes, and unlikely is not an absolute” seems to suggest he’s a crime boss of the highest order.

Yet the way he doesn’t even want to be seen on the same road as Jack and Owen’s car—having Jack be dropped off in a parking lot and walk over an interstate for their roadside chat—suggests Arthur is someone more public than even that. Perhaps he works in a political office, or is at least a fixer hired by one. He provides a brutal form of clean-up and discretion to people in power, while exerting his own influence over them. “I will make them have the stomach for it,” Arthur tells Jack about the prospect of killing a lot more innocent people in this small Western town.

Thanks to Perry’s one scene, we also get a strong idea about why it would be so dangerous for people in power if even Connor with a blood-stained note can get in front of a media camera. He’s more than just a witness to his father’s murder, and a mouthpiece for what might be by then unsubstantiated claims from his dead old man. Arthur explains exactly what’s in that note for us.

“[Owen] was resourceful enough to make it all the way here,” says Arthur, “so assume he was resourceful enough to have duplicates of everything we retrieved from the DA’s office, and assume the duplicates are in the possession of that boy. Assume the worst case scenario, assume catastrophe, and act accordingly.”

While we know the boy is only carrying a note, the note could plausibly include the location of those duplicates, as well as the names of powerful politicians who are implicated. After all, it would take a very big name, at perhaps the highest level, to get Jolie’s Hannah so spooked. She went from trying to convince the child to spend the night in her watchtower to saying, “We’re leaving right now” after glancing at the paper. It appears Owen found the smoking gun, and now it’s firing directly at him and his.

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So young Owen getting on television and sharing his truth with the world will likely have profound implications, creating a situation that is, in Arthur’s words, “untenable” for those who wish the kid dead.

With that said, the truth is we never have to know the full details. The point is conveyed quickly and clearly with that first gas leak explosion in a rich suburban neighborhood: this is information of the most explosive nature. And in truth it is a MacGuffin that gets us into the movie’s conventional thrills about Jolie versus Hoult in a burning forest, with an axe between them.

Alfred Hitchcock popularized the term “MacGuffin,” to refer to the object or plot device which incites the tension and intrigue of a thriller. He also famously shrugged that the MacGuffin is nothing.

“The best MacGuffin is the one that 30 minutes after the movie is over, you have no idea what it was,” TCM host and novelist Eddie Muller once told us. “To me, that represents the essence of the MacGuffin. It’s like you remember everything that happens in the story, but you have no idea what it was that they were after. ‘Like, what was that again? I can’t remember!’”

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So while it’s fun to speculate just how damning that little piece of paper is, what you’ll probably really remember about Those Who Wish Me Dead, if anything, is Jolie’s silhouette surrounded by flames, or the tension of Allison blowing more than smoke in a couple of hapless killers’ faces.

The post Those Who Wish Me Dead Ending Explained appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[codango]

10 Things I Love About The Untamed

I’m just gonna spitball this.

I clicked on The Untamed in Netflix because a lot of authors I admire were geeking out about it on Twitter. I’d seen it around Tumblr, but I’m not much of a TV show person, and there are 50 episodes. I have a bajillion books on Kindle I can’t get to. I did not have time for this.

But these authors were into it, man. And I’m trying to respect the tastes of people I respect, and allow it to broaden my horizons. So last weekend, I said fuck it, and clicked on the show.

Halfway through the first episode, I was absolutely one hundred percent sure I did not have time for this, and took to an online writers’ group to say, um, hey y’all, this is bonkers, I don’t understand anything, the CGI is awful, the martial arts on wires is terrible, and the fake playing of musical instruments is worse, and do I really want to do this?

And then my betrayers said, Yes, you really fucking do. Traitors, all of them.

Get through the first three episodes, they said.

Guh, fine. I mean, I like Gintama, I can respect that instruction. So I did.

And by the time I got to, oh, about the 15th or 16th episode, you could not have paid me to spend my time any other way. Dear god.

Hence, a list of ten things I have fallen in love with about The Untamed. This is pretty much spoiler free, just evaluating the feels:

1. It is SUPER applicable to our current zeitgeist.

Globally, I’d say. A common recurring theme in the show is what is morality anyway? What makes something good or bad, black or white? Why do we choose to follow these ideals or those? Do we listen to our gut about our loyalty to this or that person, this or that teaching? How do we know when we’re being deceived or deceiving ourselves?

2. Family is everything and nothing.

This really ties into the first point, I think, especially with how divided so many families are right now with politics as they are across the world. How do you love a family member who doesn’t think like you do? Who rejects you and makes it known to the world that you, in fact, are the one in the wrong? What do you fucking do with that?

This includes found family, which the show explores beautifully.

3. Morality demands things of you.

Life is messy, and there are no easy answers. What does your morality demand from you? Listen, listen hard, and follow it. Question it constantly.

4. Sometimes you just want someone to tell you what to do.

When life gets SUPER messy, and you’ve tried your damnedest, and everything is still going to shit, god, wouldn’t it be nice if someone just told you what to do?

Who can’t relate to that emotion?

5. Romance is wwwwaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy more than sex.

There is no way, zero way, that the two main characters are not in love. Zero. There is no goddamn way to read their relationship as straight and platonic. They never kiss, but in fact, no one kisses. There is one (1) straight romance that we see unfold over the course of the show, and even they do not have any physical intimacy onscreen.

Most people looking into The Untamed probably know that its source material is a BL novel. In that context, the heroes are unquestionably queer. However, the material from the book that the TV show left out is mostly dubcon and external and internal homophobia (yes, I read the BL novel, too. I did nothing else but wallow in this show for like four days).

I’m not here to kinkshame, but I am here to say that the soft-eyed, I-would-die-for-you romance onscreen was way more heartpounding for me than the hardcore sex of the BL novel. I also didn’t feel that the homophobia in the book was dealt with in any particularly meaningful way; it was just there. Your mileage may vary.

There are perhaps two physically intimate scenes in the book that I’d call sweet and would have liked to have seen onscreen. But even those could still be considered dubcon lite for readers with triggers or squicks in that area.

So when we take out the homophobia and the sex, we’re left with SO MUCH romance. Beautiful teasing, drunken escapades, flirty looks, stolen glances, awkward blushing, inside jokes, and about a bajillion declarations of loyalty and I’m-with-you-forever.

6. Friendships across genders are things of beauty, and I want more of them onscreen, dammit.

The main characters both interact respectfully with women constantly. One of the main characters develops a friendship so strong and loyal with a woman that it reduced me to tears on more than one occasion. And it is never, ever even remotely hinted as being romantic.

They are hilarious together, and fierce together, and goddamn, their friendship is beautiful. It’s honestly one of my favorite elements of the show.

In fact, all in all, there are just some really fantastic female characters in this show. They’re well-rounded and entertaining and surprising.

7. Sometimes mistakes create damage that just can never be fixed.

Sometimes that damage hurts, hurts so much. But there’s still life after it. Sometimes life will look very different, but there is always life, and life will always hold beauty. Keep going, loves.

8. Loving and guiding the next generation is important and rewarding.

Hatred and hurt are taught and passed down, but so is love and healing. You can always choose to be kind. It’s important for those younger than us to see that.

9. The music is beautiful.

Again, the fake playing of the musical instruments by the actors is, ahem, not great, but the soundtrack itself is gorgeous.

10. This show is a gift to bisexuals.

There are so many—so many—very pretty people in this show. Augh.

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: Mulan (2020, Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review the week following the movie’s release on Disney+ worldwide, so if you haven’t yet seen the 2020 live-action Mulan do not read on until you have.

General Reaction:

I had a very hard time deciding what I thought about this movie. I firstly had time to wait to see the movie as I didn’t watch it on Disney+ on the Friday it was released but instead got to see it for free the following Sunday night. But in that time all the reviews were coming out and while some of them were positive, a lot of them were negative.

I guess my feelings can be categorised into three pillars just as the oath sworn by the imperial army...loyal, brave and true, the first pillar is loyalty as in my thoughts on the original animated Mulan and how this movie holds up.

I will say, had I not seen the original I would probably just like this live-action remake fine enough but because I have not only seen the original 1996 animated version but have a strong connection to that version with it being the first movie I ever saw in theatres but also one of my favoured soundtracks of all Disney movies growing up, it’s difficult as we are literally comparing new for old.

That being said, a lot of what made the original so good for me has been completely gutted in this version. No Mushu, Cri-Kee or even Little Brother. It would be so easy to simply have a Shar Pei or a Shih Tzu roaming around Mulan’s home because they already had a spider taking the place of Cri-Kee in that matchmaker scene but no...we get the horse who isn’t even called Khan in this movie because the main villain’s surname is instead Khan rather than Shan Yu like the original, and a phoenix that...despite all the exposition and my movie trivia knowledge of what a phoenix can do...simply just flies around almost like one of those box kites and acts more like a drone than an ancestral family protector.

Also the grandmother from the original, who I loved because Disney has a habit of doing these elderly cooky women traditionally for comedy but also with some heart, is omitted from this version and instead seemingly replaced with a younger sister for Mulan. Now it’s not like the grandmother was integral to the original story other than giving Cri-Kee to Mulan and without Cri-Kee there is no need for her but if you’re going to replace her replace her with something interesting...this sister does absolutely nothing.

As for the songs, Everyone knew right from the off that this wouldn’t be a musical and so all those great songs from that soundtrack that I said at the time was one of my favourite Disney soundtracks were obviously out...but the way in which the score incorporated the main song “Reflection” is something we’ve already heard in the trailers and used very well played out here, then also two of the other songs “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” and “A Girl Worth Fighting For”, while not scored are referenced as lines from the songs are spoken by the Imperial Army soldiers at times.

Then speaking of ditching characters, Shang who is the main male lead of the 1998 animated Mulan is here split into two different characters. The commander of the Imperial Army played by Donnie Yen and then a soldier recruit in said army who acts as Mulan’s love interest...I think. I get the fact that these were the two sides of Shang’s character in the original...with the addition of dealing with the murder of his father...but it would have made more sense maybe to have the commander be “Shang’s” father rather than literally having Shang A and Shang B.

But while other fan-favourites were omitted, one new addition stole the show for me and that was Gong Li as Xian Lung aka The Witch as she’s referred to throughout in this movie. I thought the addition of magic to this adaptation was an interesting take because the original stands out for not relying so heavily on the fairytale aspects. I mean yes we have a talking dragon and ghostly ancestors, who also aren’t in this movie but are referenced a lot and responsible for the box kite phoenix, but the movie didn’t need magic per-say...here it is almost like the secret sauce for how the major players thrive.

This brings me onto my second pillar, brave...as in this movie takes some big old swings in the dark to not only try and stand out from the original but also be mature. Going back to the magic angle, chi is a massive part of this movie and it seems to be that if you’re an important fighter, you have it man or woman.

The only issue with that being the 1998 animated version of Mulan, despite being Disney, was one of the more grounded Renaissance movies as it didn’t rely heavily on the fantasy angle other than the talking dragon and ancestors.

So when you flip that around and tell me that not only does Mulan effectively have superpowers but also there is a major antagonist in this movie who can not only shapeshift but perform matrix-style Wire-Fu action which she somehow teaches the Rouran army, then it loses what made the original version special in that it didn’t rely so heavily on those fantastical elements.

That being said, despite a major problem with other Disney Live-Action remakes like The Lion King being that they rely too heavily on the source material, this remake is practically a different movie to the original 1998 version.

However, while a lot of the beats of the first half of this movie, and even the second half are met such as the Matchmaker scene, joining the Imperial Army, the avalanche battle and the Emperor being captured, the true emotional moments of the animated movie are completely gone.

That incredibly powerful scene after Mulan and her father argue and she is next seen crying at the Great Stone Dragon statue while watching her ailing father before deciding she must take his place and cuts her hair, disguises herself and leaves home in the middle of the night in the rain...here replaced with Mulan wielding her father’s sword, next she’s in the armor, then she’s travelling to the army camp...no powerful music, no visible emotion at how she comes to the resolve of leaving her family, nothing.

Even though there are no songs sung in this movie, the scene “Reflection” is originally sung in makes the song one of my favourite Disney Princess songs because of the fact it lyrically and visibly shows Mulan’s inner torment at being the outsider within her family and longing to be able to truly express herself. Here you have any resemblance of that scene taken out and instead go straight from the Matchmaker scene to the Imperial Army drafting scene.

As for the comedy, I understand the original animated version was more of a comedy-action movie as opposed to this one which is action-drama, but I don’t think I laughed once while watching this movie.

Yes, the original had Eddie Murphy as Mushu and that’s taken out here, but it also had the likeable funny trio of soldiers in the army. Here there are 5 of them, Shang-lite included, Yao and Chien-Po I think try to be despite not spending enough time on any of them to know who is who. There’s this newish character called Cricket who is supposed to be the substitute for Cri-Kee...but is a recruit in the Imperial Army instead of an insect and I had to look up to make sure it wasn’t Ned from the Spider-Man movies because they look so similar and try to force comedy despite not being particularly funny. Even the river shower scene from the original which was rather funny due to Mulan trying to hide the fact she’s a woman from the three guys, here it’s just Mulan and Shang-lite (Chen Honghui) and is played off more as some weird and awkward romance scene.

It is truly brave of Disney to try and appeal more to China than to Western audiences who loved the original movie and the comedy etc and this brings me on to the third pillar which is True, as in Disney trying to be true to China, it’s culture and respecting Mulan as a legend of China rather than a Disney Princess.

That being said, we definitely got more Chinese culture in this version than the original. Obviously you see a lot of China in the animated movie as the Imperial Army moves around a lot like they do here, but it’s never quite as cinematic as it is here. The 2020 live-action Mulan demands the attention of the big screen because for me watching it on my laptop, you can tell a lot of the establishing shots and landscape scenes were intended to be viewed on the silver screen.

Particularly the shots of people running up and down that vast staircase leading up to the Emperor’s palace, just imagining that in theatres impresses me.

Even shots like when you see wide views with either the phoenix or the witch in bird form soaring across the sky, you can tell it was meant to be viewed first on the big screen just to get that feeling of wonder because on a smaller screen it isn’t that impressive.

However, on the subject of “True” I do not understand how in-keeping with the original Chinese legend involved Chi being utilized as some sort of superpower equivelent to Avatar: The Last Airbender whereas in the original animated Disney version, which should really be the one emphasising the fantasy element, you’re either a good fighter or, in Mulan’s case for that movie, you’re not and have to train.

I understand how legends and mythologies can include fantastical elements because that’s what makes them as such, but if Disney want to tell me that in this movie Mulan is practically Wonder Woman because that’s how she is said to be in the legend then where the hell was that in the 1998 animated version because that Mulan is classed officially as a Disney Princess despite not being royalty or marrying royalty and having this type of power would at least qualify her to stand alongside the likes of Pocahontas and Moana.

Getting off the rant and moving to a compliment for a moment, I did appreciate the movie staying true to Chinese fashion because that really puzzled me about the original movie, how every man, woman and child effectively looked like they were wearing the same robes just in a different colour with maybe some different styling depending on if they were royalty or officials in some way.

But here, the Emperor definitely looked regal, the Witch looked regal but in that nomadic styling which was true to her character, and even though all the soldiers were wearing the same uniform, they all had something different enough about it.

Characters:

Alright so I’ve gone on enough generally, now I’m going to be more specific in terms of character, but because most of these characters aren’t fleshed out enough to warrant their own section, I’m listing who I feel are my three stand-out characters and then grouping the rest.

Mulan:

Obviously the movie is about Mulan so I have to start with her, and despite all the negative stuff which to be perfectly honest with you doesn’t overly concern me in regards to how Yifei Liu has been so adamantly in support of the Hong Kong Police drama, I’m judging her solely on how she plays the character here.

She was okay.

I mean this in the best way possible but, in a similar way to last year’s The Lion King remake, Yifei Liu was practically stone-faced the entirety of this movie. Good things happened, no expression, bad things happened, no expression, sad things happened, no expression. Especially when she was pretending to be a guy in the army camp it felt like her acting choice was “If Mulan was to show expression, it may give the game up”, it was just so rigid it made it hard to like her.

Speaking of her “undercover guise”, I know the original movie was animated and therefore the animators can get away with slightly altering the look of the character to make it believable and voices can even be changed as evidenced here with Jet Li...but I did not believe for a single second that Mulan could actually pass as a guy looking like how she looked. She didn’t cut her hair, her clothes weren’t particularly masculine, barely changed her voice and aside from having that leather brace/corsit to hide her chest there was no evidence as to how an entire army camp could not tell the second they saw her...maybe with the exception of Chen but I’ll get to that when I get to him.

Also, I touched on the Chi power thing beforehand, why was she was born with it? Why was it so powerful in her from an early age? None of this was explained, they hammered home the dangers of her having such strong Chi and that was also personified beautifully with Xian Lang aka The Witch as a kind of Ghost of Christmas Future visage, but the reason the original animated version worked so well was because she was flawed, clumsy and awkward yet also caring, strong-willed and outspoken. Really all they did here was take away all of those qualities that made her...you know...human and added the Chi power thing from the start so she didn’t have to learn to fight, she didn’t have to make this massive sacrifice as you know she’s probably going to prevail and again it made her unlikeable because there was no growth or real character development.

All except for the very end when the Emperor offers her a position on the royal guard rather than as an adviser like he does originally, and she rejects it here like she did then as well...but then she is asked again maybe two days later and we don’t get an answer but she probably says yes.

It’s quite clear they’re trying to tee up a sequel by the end of this movie, but there is so much negativity both to the movie and specifically the leading actress that I really don’t see this happening.

If a sequel was to happen it would most likely be Mulan’s struggles with being a female member in the emperor’s guard or even leading the team, but we saw her do that for the second half of this movie.

Literally the halfway point in this movie after a confrontation with Xian Lang, when Mulan’s father narrates how Mulan’s lie died but she herself lived and so she then decided to appear in front of the Imperial Army as a woman despite the obvious consequences I found stupid.

In the original it’s a mistake that she’s found out, it’s towards the end of the movie and she has to fight just for acceptance. Here she pretty much states the obvious in what she knows the villains are doing, suddenly she’s leading the fecking army...despite being told that if she shows her face again she will die...no death but just a promotion.

Finally while talking about Mulan, I can’t really not talk about that fantastic Ming-Na Wen cameo at the end of the movie. It was so great, I had heard prior to seeing the movie that she was going to be in it and so my eyes were peeled throughout the movie.

I love Ming-Na Wen and I do think she is one of very few to hit a Disney trifecta with being a Disney Princess, an MCU hero of sorts and a Star Wars character, though having recently finally seen The Mandalorian I have to say her part was exaggerated a bit considering the one episode she’s in.

It never dawned on me until it was brought up that I even needed Ming-Na to appear in this movie but having seen her I have to say I would be disappointed if she didn;t. Originally I would have suggested she maybe play Mulan’s mother as a type of passing on the torch, but the very fact that her one line and duty in the movie is to introduce Mulan to the emperor it does seem to have the same effect.

Xian Lang:

As I say, the Witch was my favourite character in this movie. Everything about her from when I first saw her in the trailers just worked for me. Her look was stunning, Gong-Li’s acting was on point, her story despite being a secondary antagonist based on the villain’s pet bird from the original movie was very compelling. The parallels between Mulan and Xian Lang were fascinating to see particularly with Xian Lang being a potential future cautionary tale for Mulan.

The first major scene when we see her use her powers was my favourite scene in the movie. I love a great power-set piece and we got to see a lot of the different fascets of Xian Lang’s power. From that gorgeous blend of coloured powders to act as a smokescreen for her shapeshifting, the weapon manifestation, using her sleeves as whips. It all worked so well and Mulan wasn’t even in the scene.

That being said, my next favourite scene is that confrontation between her and Mulan where Xian Lang is trying to get Mulan to admit who she is but she’s insistent on stating she’s her male name, so Xian Lang says “then you will die a lie” and knocks her into a rock which Mulan’s father then narrates “Mulan’s lie did die but Mulan lived”, it’s such powerful stuff and I wish the rest of the movie was as clever as that.

The Emperor:

The only other character I can really single out is Jet Li’s Emperor of China. I’m not a massive Jet Li fan, but I have seen him in a couple other movies and to my knowledge always in non-English speaking roles. However, I have also seen him in interviews so know the voice he has...this wasn’t it.

It was really distracting all the way through this movie because he looked regal, everything around him looked regal and powerful, but then he spoke and I was sat there pondering “Why is that not his voice?”. I mean I know how Hollywood likes to dub voices if the actors they hire don’t fit the roles vocally but do physically, but doing this not only to Jet Li who is one of the more famous Asian actors in Hollywood but any Asian actor in an entirely Asian cast does seem like a huge step backwards in representation particularly after Aladdin.

It reminded me a lot of Ray Park who is one of my favourite underrated actors. In some roles you see him and hear his voice like Toad in the first X-Men movie, however famously you only see him physically as Darth Maul in the Star Wars movies but have his voice dubbed by other actors.

All that aside, the actual character was a lot more fleshed out than in the original movie. I mean all you really need to know about him is that he’s the Emperor of China but here, because he’s Jet Li apparently in body only, he also has some kick-ass martial arts scenes.

Although, similar to the TV series Arrow, I do not understand how magic allows people to catch arrows fired at them, yet somehow Jet Li does and to be fair redirects it in a rather bad-ass way with Mulan doing a flip kick sending it straight into the chest of the main villain guy.

Hua Family:

As for Mulan’s family, I thought they were okay. Again I got more emotional from the original movie and I did miss the grandmother this time around and do not understand how the younger sister was a worthy substitute, but the actual parents were at least acted well.

It was great seeing Constance Wu in a dramatic role after seeing her in Freaky Friday, Tzi Ma was a surprisingly central role this time around as Mulan’s father with a lot more drama put on his character, in the original version you know Fa Zhou is injured from war so when he’s drafted again you can guess he may not survive. Here, Constance Wu states “Be brave for he won’t return this time”.

Imperial Army:

I didn’t like any of these guys, we spend little time getting to know any of them as individuals, maybe with the exception of Donnie Yen’s general character. Having said that, Chen either had to know that Mulan was a girl or simply be attracted to Mulan as a boy. But there were so many looks and so many times where you could tell that he knew but maybe wanted to protect her so didn’t let on.

Rourans:

I didn’t like the Huns in the original movie but at least they had individuality about them, the Rourans had nothing. Jason Scott Lee was obviously the Shan Yu of this movie but he did not have the intimidation factor that he had and really didn’t have a lot else to him.

The one plus about the Rourans is they seemed to take lessons from the Dothraki in Game of Thrones in how to not only ride into battle but battle while riding. It was very cool visually.

Recommendation:

By the time this review posts if you haven’t seen the movie yet you may not be inclined to and I don’t know if this review is really a promotion for it, but when someone asked me for my recommendation I did say it’s worth at least one viewing.

However, I would not pay the excess fee for it. I watched it for free and I feel $30 or however much it is here in the U.K. would feel a bit of a rip off despite the fact Disney+ allows for multiple users and so multiple viewings.

Overall I rate the movie a 6/10, it’s visually gorgeous, Gong-Li is the best thing about the movie and it is interesting to see what is different between versions. I just wouldn’t rank it up there as one of the best Disney Live-Action remakes, too much doesn’t make sense.

So that’s my review of Disney’s Live-Action Mulan, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Disney Movie Reviews as well as other Movie Reviews and posts.

[scrawnydutchman]

“There’s Always More Show”; A Bojack Horseman Essay

It’s about time I talked about one of the finest ongoing shows in animation right now. I. LOVE. Bojack Horseman. I must have binged the whole series 5 times at this point, and it’s rare for even my absolute favorite shows to get me to do that. The dialogue is so poignant I have entire exchanges between characters burned into my memory. The jokes and societal commentary are so on point that many lines have gotten me to burst out laughing among company.The characters themselves are so complex, so filled with depth, that they are all well deserving of their own analysis. The writing is SO tight and the storytelling so consistently engaging that I hang onto every little detail. I swear they foreshadow events from as late as season 4 and 5 as early as season 1. Even it’s animation, while admittedly pretty primitive character rigging with a handful of noticeable errors, takes some amazing creative liberty at times, particularly with subjectivity in the drug trips. While the art design has taken a few people off guard for it’s blinding colors and it’s premise has discouraged a less open minded audience with it’s animal-human hybrids living among people, those who stick with the show will get a sophisticated while simultaneously wacky romp that is both the silliest and most real show you can watch right now. So with a show this dense that has characters this deep, there are many themes it tackles such as the perpetual meaninglessness of existence or the pursuit to being a good person, but there’s a more central theme Bojack keeps bringing up which I’d like to talk about.

Oh and, uh, Spoilers incoming for Bojack Horseman . .  . obviously. Get Netflix and watch all of this show right now before reading. seriously. But for those reading who don’t care about spoilers but are interested in what makes Bojack so great and may like to watch it themselves, here’s a brief summary:

Bojack Horseman (played by Will Arnett) Is a horse-man hybrid living out the so called “glamorous” life style in Hollywood, Los Angeles (later called “Hollywoo” in the series for reasons I won’t spoil here). Out of work, out of shape and out of touch, Bojack wastes away his days in sorrow as a past-his-prime actor who goes day to day being disrespected. Back in the 90s he was the star of a very famous “full house”-esque sitcom called “Horsin’ Around” and he longs for the days where he was in the prime of his life, but nowadays he mostly just sits around the house watching old reruns of his show. He constantly struggles with depression, dependancy on narcotics . . . and the ongoing guilt he feels for every shitty thing he’s done in life . . . and as viewers will no doubt find out . . . Bojack has a LOT of baggage. He finds new friends in life like his responsible ghost writer of his memoir Diane Nguyen (played by Alison Brie), his easygoing  freeloader and best friend Todd Chavez (played by Aaron Paul), his happy go lucky Labrador rival Mr. Peanutbutter (played by Paul F. Tompkins) and his workaholic pink cat agent Princess Carolyn (played by Amy Seradis). The show centres around his ongoing relationships with these people as well as their own journeys of self discovery . . . and the occasional wacky schemes. Through his surrounding positive influences can Bojack learn to grow past his personal demons? Or will his shitty tendencies and depressing outlook permanently spoil the lives of the people closest to him like he so often fears?

Spoilers begin NOW

In what is perhaps my favorite episode of the show, episode 6 of Season 5 titled “Free Churro”, Bojack gives an improvised eulogy for his recently deceased mother . . . and that’s it. The episode is just a full 20 minutes of Bojack talking about his dead mom . . . and struggling to find anything positive to say about her. His mom was nothing but cold, hard and abusive to Bojack his entire life and Bojack laments about how he never received a single loving gesture from his mother for as long as he’s known her . . and now that she’s dead that chance is permanently gone. In his ramblings, he mentions an episode of Horsin’ Around in which the writers juice the idea of main cast character Olivia leaving the show for good, only for her to be written back into the status quo, because as Bojack puts it 

“Of course that’s what happened, because what are you gonna do? Just not have Olivia on the show? You can’t have happy endings in sitcoms -- not really -- because if everyone’s happy, the show would be over, and above all else the show has to keep going. There’s always more show. (And) You can call Horsin’ Around dumb, or bad, or unrealistic, but there’s nothing more realistic than that. You never get a happy ending, because there’s always more show.”

That right there sums up the entire ongoing struggle of every character in this show. In many ways, Bojack Horseman the Netflix series is like a typical sitcom turned upside down. You have an ongoing setup of colourful, over the top characters doing outrageous things for our amusement, and in a lot of ways they’re actually terrible people but they’re just SO endearing that we have to keep tuning into their antics. Much like how an average Friends episode is about every titular friend trying haphazardly to cover up a lie for 20 minutes when their problems would so easily be over if they just had the maturity to be honest about how they’re feeling, characters like Bojack, Todd and Mr. Peanutbutter are always up to something silly whether it’s poorly covering up a lie or coming up with elaborate sabotages for selfish ends. But there’s one core difference. In Friends, everybody forgives each other in the end. In the gritty and merciless world of Bojack Horseman . . . every wrongdoing has long term consequences, some of which can never be forgiven. 

Bojack’s antics especially cause permanent stains on his relationships. When he sabotaged Todd’s rock opera by getting him readdicted to a video game so he wouldn’t leave, he permanently makes a wound in his and Todd’s relationship. He only makes it worse when he has sex with Emily, Todd’s best friend and kinda-sorta girlfriend. Todd had faith in Bojack early on in the show, but he makes it apparent later on that the less he has to do with Bojack the better off he is. Todd’s an easygoing friend that can forgive easily, but Bojack really tests his patience. As he said once he found out Bojack had sex with Emily

“You can’t keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay. You need to be better.”

In the luxurious  yet phony and superficial world of Hollywoo, everyone has an outlook on life as if it’s a sitcom. The center of mass produced film and television has everyone believing in achieving against the odds, amending their wrongs in the end and getting satisfying conclusions as if the credits of their very own movie will roll any second. But real life keeps on hitting these characters like a truck, as if to say “there is no happy ending , you aren’t the main character and the harm you’ve caused is permanent. Get used to it.” Bojack gets his hard hitting reality more prominently than anyone. He keeps looking for backdoor solutions to his pain like getting back with Charlotte, starting a new Horsin’ Around spinoff, finding meaning far away from L.A. or straight up finding solace in drugs, but every solution to his search for meaning ends in him hurting somebody else even more. He has to separate the idea from his head that shitty things like nearly sleeping with your old friends daughter is just a wacky sitcom hijinks situation, and that the guilt he feels is just an ongoing conflict he feels every day. He even tries at one point to get forgiveness from his old show writer Herb Kezzaz after betraying him, only to be greeted with Herb saying 

“No. I’m not going to give you closure. You don’t get that. You have to live with the shitty thing that you did for the rest of your life.”

Sometimes Bojack will go to more silly extents for his so desired “happy ending”, like humming his own credits as he embraces Sarah Lynn when she comes out of rehab.

But as screwed up as Bojack is, he’s not the only one who’s mind is warped by the empty promise of a “happy ending”. Diane Nguyen, for as much as she comes off as the moral compass of the show who isn’t afraid to call anyone out for their bullshit, is what I like to call “Bojack lite”. While she’d be grossly offended by the accusation that she’s anything like Bojack, she shares a lot of his toxic traits. Sure, she’s not actively life ruining for anyone, but she has a tendency to harshly criticize people as a means to deflect any criticism towards herself and she often manages to find the negative connotation to even the best of situations. Also, she struggles with getting drunk a lot too, which is often enabled by Bojack. Diane makes a lot of rash decisions in her life hoping she’ll find some sort of “happy ending”. She married Mr. Peanutbutter longing for a simpler, more laid back life for she just settles down with her loving husband. However, unwilling to keep up with Mr. Peanutbutters love for spontaneity and grand gestures, she ends up divorcing him, deciding instead to try and find solace in being her own woman who doesn’t need a mans affection to be happy . .  .but that leaves her empty too. Every time she gets what she asked for, she ends up having to fight all the challenges that go with it, and those challenges end up obscuring her vision of that made her want that thing in the first place. She thinks it’s something wrong with her, like she just can’t ever be satisfied.

“Why can’t I be happy? Am I busted?!”

If we’re comparing each Bojack Horseman character to standard sitcom fare, Mr. Peanutbutter likely comes the closest to fitting the mold of what we expect from a likable television comedy protagonist. Everyone loves him. He’s endearing, he’s funny, he’s sweet. He makes silly mistakes but has a good heart, and even if he does touch some raw nerves along the way he can usually win his audience back with some sort of grand gesture. If Diane is Bojack Lite, then Mr. Peanutbutter is the yin to Bojack’s yang. They live virtually the same lives to a point where Mr. Peanutbutter even got famous off of what is blatantly a knock off of Horsin’ Around, The key difference though is that while Bojack is incurably pessimistic, Mr. Peanutbutter is obnoxiously optimistic, and why wouldn’t he be? He sees the good in everything and everyone and manages to get his way shearly through people loving him. He never has to learn anything because nobody ever challenges him. But that precisely is the rub. Mr. Peanutbutter is a cautionary tale about what would happen if you DID get that life full of happy endings and comfortable conclusions. Much like how many a sitcom protagonist never learns to tell the truth or to take responsibility for their own health, Mr. Peanutbutter never grows past his mistakes. It’s why he always does grand gestures for Diane despite her repeating several times that she doesn’t like them. It’s why he keeps dating women much younger than himself. It’s why he keeps getting divorced. He never takes any kind of long term lesson from what happens to him and never evolves as a person. Nowhere is this more prominent than in Season 5. Whenever Mr. Peanut butter does something wrong, he’s usually blind to the responsibility he must take to it. He either dismisses it as somebody else being mean or unreasonable or he makes an empty promise to not do it again. But for the first time ever, he partakes in betraying somebody he cares about. After divorcing Diane and getting with Pickles the Pug waitress . . . he has sex with Diane again behind Pickles’ back. This time there’s nobody to blame but himself . . and he doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that he did an unforgivably shitty thing. In fact, he’s the least equipped character to do so in the whole show. He even pleads for Diane to break the news to Pickles and tries to force a silver lining by getting back with Diane as a result of it. In the season finale, when Mr. Peanutbutter has to tell the awful truth and knowingly hurt somebody close to him . . .much like a sitcom character, he instead pulls a happy ending out of his ass and decides to propose to Pickles instead. He actively decides not to do the tough, but right decision, and thus does not evolve. This is especially interesting in the finale because, for the first time ever, Bojack is a step ahead of Mr. Peanutbutter when it comes to committing to making things right. After Bojack nearly strangles Gina to death on his drug high, he turns himself into rehab with the help of Diane and starts taking real steps to self improvement. In contrast, Mr. Peanut butter . . . is just up to his same old tricks. 

You wanna talk about reaching that sitcom happy ending? It’s all this workaholic cat ever thinks about. Princess Carolyn leads life with the philosophy that with enough grit and go-getter attitude you can make anything happen for yourself . . . and to an extent that actually serves her pretty well. She gets out of her hick town to pursue her dreams as an agent and whenever the other characters are knee deep in their own mess she’s always the one with the solution to get them out. She compulsively helps people while refusing to take help for herself because . . well, she wants a happy ending . . .but she wants to be the one responsible for it. She had an opportunity as a kid to have everything in her life decided for her but once she had her miscarriage and that dream fell apart, she instead decided to pursue a career in the big city. She made tons of sacrifices to get where she is including leaving her own mother, and she’s also afraid of falling into the same trap of dependency she almost fell into as a kid again. That’s why she rejects Ralph Stilton’s offer to help her with her adopted baby, even though he’s irrefutably the best boyfriend she ever had. Time and time again Princess Carolyn will willingly be pushed right up to the edge before she accepts any kind of help, because she thinks doing so is a sign of weakness. She keeps herself motivated with fantasies about that wonderful happy ending, whether that means living in a cottage in a beautiful painting or succeeding enough that some future ancestor can give her class a family heritage report all about what a great ass kickin’ gal she is. While Princess Carolyn is definitely the most well adjusted and most durable to the constant hustle and beating down of reality, she’s got her own toxic tendencies as a result of thinking she’s a main character. She thinks she’s got to do everything on her own . . . . and if she doesn’t get past that insecurity soon, it may swallow her whole.

At long last we come to mr. Todd Chavez, the endearing little brother of Bojack Horseman’s family of main characters. Upon first glance, Todd seems the least prepared for life’s harsh reality out of all our leads. He’s a 20-something year old with no real job, no real responsibilities and no real goals in life. He’s very upfront and honest about how he spends his time, be it spending all day watching Youtube videos . . . or building a knockoff Disneyland. And yet, when we analyze him with the thesis that these “sitcom characters” are all trying to get by in a cruel and merciless world, we suddenly realize that ironically . . . Todd grows the most naturally out of everyone. Bojack lets Todd down time and time again and rather than accepting status quo as God like many a sitcom character might do, he takes it upon himself to distance his relationship with Bojack. He initially has faith in Bojack to be better, but doesn’t beat around the bush when he’s lost his faith in him. When he realizes that he was nothing in common with Yolanda aside from being asexual, he breaks up with her before prolonging the painful inevitable. The cast of Bojack Horseman go through their share of changes in what they want and who they want to be, but Todd is always the one who knows what he needs and makes an honest effort to be better. He’s surprisingly wise for an adult manchild flunky. But he gets up to wacky sitcomish schemes too, about as much as Mr. Peanutbutter (who is often his partner in crime with these things) . . . yet even then through his ernestness and cuttthroat honesty he manages to overcome better than the other characters.

Conclusion:

*decided to include this gif because i love the animation in it*

Hollywoo is a world of sitcom characters pulled out of the TV and trying to get by in everyday life under the harsh, uncompromising grip of reality. In a culture so entrenched in it’s ideals of maintaining superficial likability and celebrating yourself no matter what you do or who you hurt, each character’s mind is warped into buying the illusion that for how screwed up they are there’s a happy ending waiting at the end of the horizon for them. They all deal with it with different levels of success. Some take change in life with stride like Todd. Some think they found their happy ending but only remain empty like Diane. Some get everything they ask for and thus never evolve and never better themselves like Mr. PeanutButter. Some cling on for deal life as they get everything thrown at them, believing that they’ll be rewarded in the end, like Princess Carolyn. And then . . . some are a depressing cocktail of all of those things. They have opportunity land at their feet and think they’ve finally done the thing that will preserve them, only to find themselves empty. They work through the pain in their life hoping that at any point they’ll get some grand gesture or reward that makes everything they endured worth it, only for that chance to become officially non existent. But occasionally . . . very occasionally . . . they do something wonderful and heartfelt and sincere that maintains a glimmer of hope for their capacity to be better. That is Bojack Horseman. Bojack hurts the people closest to him much like his parents did. He remains bitter and sad and petty and self important . . . but he IS better than his folks. He’s like his late mom . . . only for him the grand gesture really does come.

But as Bojack says

“The grand gesture isn’t enough. You have to be consistent. You have to be dependably good. You can’t just screw everything up and then take a boat out on the ocean to save your best friend or solve a mystery and fly to Cansas. You need to do it everyday, which is so . . . hard.”

The truth is, all of these characters, even Bojack, have the potential to be better as long as they deconstruct their worldview shaped by watching television. They have to rid themselves of the illusion. The illusion that there’s some great happy ending that’s going to make all the pain worth it. The only ending in life . . . is death. Until then, there’s always more show. Time’s arrow neither stands still nor reverses; it always marches forward. There will be days these characters make mistakes and days they do great things . . how much they do of either is up to them. Sometimes they’ll do things that they will never get closure for . . things that can’t be forgiven  . . . but that doesn’t ruin their capacity to do right the next day.  Bojack’s right . . .it IS hard to do better every single day. But as the jogger near Bojack’s house says “It gets easier”.

And my essay concludes . . . .riiiiiiight after this anecdote.

I think what makes Bojack Horseman so special is that it holds up a mirror to how a screen infested world has permanently warped our sense of self worth and our understanding of how life really works. In a way, we’re all “sitcom characters” roaming around real life. We think of ourselves as the main characters of our stories, that there’s some sort of satisfying conclusion waiting for us. That we can win whoever we want back with a grand gesture and that we never have to evolve, we just have to be “good enough” . . .and that’s all . . SO wrong. That mentality makes us toxic. It makes us self important and hypocritical and petty, while also leaving us empty. It makes us incomplete. We all have to learn that there’s no ending until we die, that we have to do good every day . . . and that we aren’t the main character.  Everyone is important. Maybe we’ve been watching too many sitcoms and have had these fallacies drilled into our heads . . . and maybe Bojack Horseman is like a rehab for those bad tendencies. As Princess Carolyn points out in the finale of Season 4

“I got into this business because I love stories. They comfort us. They inspire us. They create a context for how we view the world. But also you have to be careful because if you spend a lot of time with stories you start to believe that life is just . . . stories. And it’s not. Life is life . . . and . . .that’s so sad, because . . .there’s so little time and . . . what are we doing with it?”

[cinnbar-bun]

Nifl + Muspell+ Hel Sumemer

A/n: @pokemagines I’m sorry I keep doing this, and I even added a little bonus Sumemer to the mix!!!

Warning: SPOILERS AND ANGST!!!

Nifl!Sumemer

They have NO clue how they got there, and they were out for blood SOOOOOO quick. 

“WHO KIDNAPPED ME I WAS TRYING TO NAP!!!” 

Nifl Sumemer is rather hot-headed (heh) and takes no crap from anyone

Until they see Gunnthra and with her sheer disappointed mother glare, they submitted. 

Gunnthra is PLEASED

Because of the timeline, Nifl Sumemer never actually met Hrid. They just hear stories of how wonderful their brother is, but they have no idea of how he looks like. They know the siblings are worried about him, and it actually makes them kinda sad (not that they’d admit it) and they get angry they can’t do much

As is tradition for every Sumemer, they fall in love with the oldest child. 

Nifl Sumemer is no different and quickly falls for Gunnthra, who stayed patient with them while getting accustomed to Nifl. 

Gunnthra is very caring of the Nifl Sumemer, but they tend to feel jealous of the Askr Sumemer since she made a ‘connection’ with them. They get angry that no matter what they do, she will consider their Askran counterpart more important. 

They act really cold to them when they first meet, and Askr sumemer cries about it

They are a protective older sibling to the two youngest girls, and they absolutely LOVE to play with them

Fjorm has wonderful discussions with them and even trained them to use a weapon. 

I’d go out on a limb here and say that Nifl Sumemer is the most competent sumemer when it comes to weapons and could actually fight with them

Take that Askran Sumemer!

Ylgr has been adopted by the Nifl Sumemer and is basically Helbindi lite. 

They really get kinda nervous of caring for someone, because they don’t think they deserve to be treated nicely. 

They make sure Ylgr eats right, and Ylgr always thanks them for cooking 

“What? I don’t cook.” (LIES)

Ylgr likes to play with Nifl Sumemer’s hair and tie cute bows in it or something. She even does this when they’re sleeping because Fjorm dared her to. 

After Gunnthra...did the thing...the sumemer was DESTROYED. It was bad enough feeling like they didn’t do much for her alive, but then when that happened, they blamed themselves for her death. 

Fjorm and Ylgr were grieving, but also knew how much the sumemer loved Gunnthra. They tried to get them to cheer up. 

They all huddled one day together and sobbed. 

When Ylgr was kidnapped too they got incredibly cold and protective of Fjorm. They didn’t want her to lose another one of her siblings. 

When they meet Hrid the first thing they do is slap him. He gets incredibly caught off-guard but then the sumemer hugs them and sobs how they are so sorry. They failed the princesses and they beg him to stay close with Fjorm. 

He grows quite close with them and understands how awful losing Gunnthra must have felt. 

Although, after Hrid started becoming friendly with the Askran sumemer, they got a bit pissed off again. 

Despite being one of the most volatile, Nifl Sumemer is quite good at their job. They tend to make pretty okay plans, but they sometimes throw them away in order to protect the royal siblings. 

Hrid had to order them to stop trying to jump in front of them because he was afraid of them getting hurt. 

Nifl Sumemer doesn’t care and thinks that if they do that, it’ll make up for them being a bad person when the siblings were there. 

After Surtr is defeated, they are so lost. The emotions they felt were all about killing Surtr, but now that he was gone, they didn’t know what to do. 

Hrid offered them a spot on the council, to be his prime tactician, and Fjorm and Ylgr smiled and said they could be their ‘babysitter’ or something. 

They cried for a long time and thanked them for existing. 

Don’t even get started on what happens when they summon Gunnthra or NY!Gunnthra. All they do is cry and cry, and they wish they could love them like they did with their Gunnthra, but the problem is, they’re from different timelines. 

They are the Gunnthra they knew, and it kills them slowly. 

The Gunnthra’s do try to comfort them and encourage them to find new love and explore themselves. 

Overall, they are extremely protective of the royal siblings, and while quick to react, they are a kind person deep inside. They just need to understand that they are valuable too, and that they are loved. 

Muspell! Sumemer

Muspell Sumemer is very chill and laid-back, almost like the ‘bro’ pal. 

They are always calm and have a stupid grin on their face, even in the worst situations. 

Unlike the other Sumemers, who couldn’t be smooth to save their life (the Askran version PALES in comparison), Muspell Sumemer is quite suave and has a way with words. 

Especially to Laegjarn, who they kinda-sorta have a crush on. 

When Laegjarn is feeling stressed, they go up to her and like to show a ‘magic trick’. She is like ‘but we have magic’ and Sumemer is like ‘no no no! you’ve not seen THIS magic!!’ 

It usually involves her getting a penny or a small flower at the end of it. She gets insanely happy and sentimental looking at them, and keeps her ‘lucky penny’ by her when she’s off to battle. 

Laevatein doesn’t know why, but she’s also drawn to the Sumemer’s behavior. She muses to Laegjarn about how they don’t tell her to fight and even cooked some treats she might enjoy. 

Laegjarn gets a heart attack because she could’ve sworn she saw Laevatein smile. 

They hate Surtr. They make fun of him behind his back and mock him with Laegjarn (and she can’t help but laugh but also feels kinda guilty because like...it is her dad). They hate him a lot though and have made him the most STUPIDEST plans so that way he can get hurt. 

He doesn’t and they try to work even harder to MAKE HIM GET HIS OLD MAN KNEECAPS KICKED. 

They like Helbindi even though Helbindi pretends to hate them. 

“YO! Helbindi what’s poppin?”

“Don’t freakin talk to me didn’t I tell you that last time? 

They are both secret bros who hold infinite respect for each other. 

A lot of people really like them because they’re so friendly and calm, and they instantly feel safe with them. They usually get tons of compliments and gifts from Muspellians who think they’re just so good and easy to talk to. 

They still don’t know what they’re doing though??? They just.... exist? 

A lot of people underestimate Muspell Sumemer though. When they first hear they’re from Muspell, a bad image forms in their head. They also can sound/act kinda dumb, but are really perceptive and will come up with answers to complex problems, things no one has ever thought of. 

They tend to underestimate them and think they’re some ‘fire-brained idiot’ who just likes fighting. False, they actually hate it. But because they were brought into Muspell, Surtr didn’t want them to be ‘weak and defenseless’ so he ordered Laegjarn to teach them how to fight. 

They’re the best at fighting besides the Nifl Sumemer. 

Hardly will ever use those skills, but they keep a dagger and lance in case it’s ever needed. 

They once nearly cut Askran sumemer because they jumped out of nowhere and screamed at them. 

Despite being lax and carefree, they can get deadly serious when the time calls for it. Muspell sumemer is full of many facets and surprises. 

Laegjarn was an important figure in their life, mostly because it seemed she was one of the few sane people who didn’t want senseless fighting. Her kindness was one of the few things helping Muspell Sumemer, and when they saw that Laevatein wasn’t really mean, just unsure of how to go about feelings, they grew closer to both of them. 

They really love Laegjarn a lot and were hoping to end the war so they can treat her to a real relationship where she isn’t pressured. And because they basically adopted Laevatein as their younger sister, they also wanted to give her a childhood she never got. 

When Laegjarn sacrificed herself, they were beyond furious with Surtr for making her come to that. She didn’t need to die! She was his daughter for god’s sake! 

They didn’t show it, but they were heartbroken. When Laevatein attempted to do the same, they were one of the few who could get her to stop. They didn’t want to lose her too. 

After Surtr’s death, Muspell Sumemer stuck around to take care of Laevatein. She knew how they felt about Laegjarn and was really grateful they were helping her, even if she was not used to free-will and choice. 

She learns magic tricks to surprise them, but what makes it funnier is that she’s very stiff and monotone about it, so she’s like “is this your card...” and stares back at them, and even though it isn’t they nod. 

Muspell Sumemer is very calm after everything, and they visit a Laegjarn’s grave sometimes and just fill her in. When they summon her, they realize this wasn’t the one they knew, but it was still nice to see her smiling, in any timeline. They’re grateful to have known her. 

Hel Sumemer

Hel Sumemer isn’t exactly the classic definition of a ‘sumemer’ tbh. They were a previous Askran summoner, who Hel decided to keep around for her army. 

Being in the void made them forget their previous traits, and sometimes they even forget who they were before. All they remember was strategizing and....a man named Lif. 

Being brought up in the battlefield once more is exceptionally tiring for the poor summoner, and they feel something...weird...Like they shouldn’t be doing this? Why does this place look so familiar anyhow? And why does the prince look similar to that man? 

If they are summoned by the Askran sumemer, they are a bit more free and out of Hel’s control. They can remember bits and pieces of their past and some of their personality comes back as well. 

Alfonse is very important to them, since they served the prince when they were summoned, and the fact that he looks like a near splitting image of Lif doesn’t help. 

After being in Askr for a while, they definitely become a lot more of a joker. Not as much as the Askran sumemer, but a good amount. Askran sumemer thinks of them like a role model, and has complimented them on their use of black and THAT EYELINER GAME THO!! 

Askran sumemer kinda wishes they had their outfit but you didn’t hear that from me

Alfonse likes to ask questions about the past, and what Hel Sumemer can remember, they tell him. 

He also gets curious if they are his ancestor, but they admit that as much as they loved Lif, they did not end up with him. They can’t remember if they even married someone afterwards, and Alfonse gets a bit sad. 

Sharena tries to get them to see the future, showing them different styles of clothing and new foods that they might like to try. They have a blast with her. 

Their dedication to Lif still hasn’t waned, since they were summoned to help him, but they also realize how dire the situation is in Askr and wants to help. That being said, if they had to fight Lif, they wouldn’t. They’d surrender almost immediately. 

Lif cannot remember them, so he doesn’t really think of them as something worth befriending or getting close to. In a strange turn of events though, he can feel a sort of pang in his cold, dead, chest that tells him to not hurt you. But it’s rare for him to actually listen to that. 

If Hel Sumemer has stayed in Askr for a long time, they become back to their old self. They still wear the edgy armor because, like Askran Sumemer, they are WEAK to black clothes, but overall, they’ve become a lot happier and more goofy. 

Their strategies though, can range from god-tier to drunk messes. No one knows what they’re gonna get that day, but as long as they don’t have to fight against Hel with nothing but a three star Odin, they’re fine. 

One of the coolest old people you’ll ever meet. They still look young, but since they were from generations back, they know a lot of cool things. How to make an owl speak ancient Askran (NO ONE KNOWS HOW THEY DO IT) and how to cook a feast using nothing but three bones and some mushrooms (also questionable but very useful)

A/n: tbh I know these weren’t exactly like ‘funny’ and it was kinda angsty but I just feel like they’d have a much harder time dealing than say Askran or Emblian sumemer. That’s just my opinion tho and I’m so sorry for making it angsty

[ladyofmind]

August is over? Recap time...

First things first... Between Patreon and other tasks, I dropped off towards the end of the month... I’m sure you saw the #CharactersHell board that took my time and, most importantly, brain stuffs.

We have, however, organized it so that future boards should not be as hard as the first one.

As long as it is as well received as it’s other game, by the same @M_arbanassi (on Twiter) #CharactersHell should have just as amazing a community as #CharactersTell. Tell focuses on the characters every week. Hell is a monthly board covering a little bit more, including us authors.

Basically, those two tags are my guaranteed game plays for the foreseeable future. The question will be what other ones will I be playing this coming September?

While I ponder that, here are the old answers...

#wipwordsearch  AKA  #RedLettersTeasers

1- Sly had a way of #schooling his features so that no one could read him. If Gus was happy about it, he could be happy for Gus. Still… "But why do some of the women have pointy weapons?"

2- He followed her lead carefully, since they were not in his place, & he made sure to lower only his top half. They could stare at his jean clad #back side for all he cared.

3- Rolling the blanket over herself like a sleeping bag, Tweet felt for her note #book in the dark, finding where she left the pen in the page, half heartedly scribbling notes she hoped she would understand in the margins.

4- That she would have to cover with make up, and that would have to work for the #bags under her eyes too.

5- At least two of the biggest #gossips of Soul were furiously, but covertly, trying to get her attention.

6- She still needed him around, and Malta would miss her #crush too much.

7- The kindnesses came back ten fold, as Nate catered Martin's musical event, with the chocolate man making a lifelike red guitar that shined as if it had a fresh coat of pearlescent #paint.

8- His long black hair fell to one side, and hardly covered any of the piercing or tattoos, which covered his arms and neck in a sea of darker #colors.

9- Nira wasn't the only one #catching on to the language from exposure.

10- "You don't have to read it, if you don't like it." Woods' movements slowed, as he scrunched #up the material of his shirt.

11- She wasn't by any means an #expert, but one knew quickly which ones felt like sucking lemons, due to the way they pulled her face of their will, and which ones she might want to drink again.

12- The point was made, she was #playing with house money, and she would win.

13- Seemed this new Soulful was #true to it's name, and proving more interesting with each visit.

14- NO WINGS

15- Remmy rolled the window down, and waved at Woods, a sigh escaping him. "#Hurry up slow poke. I think you should be offended, but that's my opinion that you don't always listen to talking.

16- NO ESSENCE

17- Remmy was getting #sick of repeating himself. "Just go talk to Tweet…."

18- By the simple look of a wedged arm and crumpled leg, she knew to #avert her gaze, that seeing the parts of limbs was close enough.

19- Spoiler if posted SLASH

20- Not that this was any type of pet, it was somewhere between a tiger and #house cat in size.

21- NO CASCADE

22- NO LITE

23- "Seems like you have a musical connection with everyone you meet." Her words had been a double-edged #sword to him.

24- One #building caught her eye, with its sheer size and stain glass details.

25- Plus if he loitered too long, he'd be late to #class.

26- Once #inside, she showered and found herself staring into her closet.

27- She needed to remember to encourage them all to have lives #outside the bar.

28- Staff loyalty and respect was next on the ever #growing list.

29- Even nearly #falling onto a guy and barely keeping her red rubies caged looked classy.

30- Angus and Scotty had the good sense to first agree with Woods, and then do their darnedest to get Brandon to #leave while he was still in one piece.

31- They were out in the public, it was #chilly, he was sure there was some law about it, and was she ready for what she was trying to do?

#CharactersTell

1/8- Woods back again! The band and I thought it was time to talk again, especially since this month is art themed, and we are artists *someone snickers* Don't start that again mate… We're glad to be here in… (The Red Letters series)

2/8- Woods- Of course! We're musicians, so that is our favorite.

Brandon- "Women too"

W- "A fine bird's form can be a masterpiece yes, with legs for miles and plump shapes."

3/8- Woods- "Yeah mate, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, couple of car places. It's my passion, so why not go see it in a museum too if you can?"

4/8- Woods- "We play rock music, but I have listened to all kinds in my life. Never know what will inspire that next song of your own."

5/8- Woods- *laughs while the boys chuckle* "I prefer relaxed movies, in the sense that thinking too hard kills the buzz. Ain't nothing too relaxed about the movies I watch, especially if we just finished filming it."

6/8- Woods caught elbowing the blokes on the couch with him. "Unless this is Play boy, the answer to that question has to be music." *preoccupied by trying to help cover Brandon's mouth.*

7/8- Woods- "Maybe you haven't heard of us, but we are already famous for being a band. Tour regularly, another album in the works, so on and so forth. That's my legacy. Rock and roll lifer."

8/8- "Thank god! Woods doesn't shut up. Brandon the lead singer and better showman ready to take control of this band interview…"

9/8- Brandon- "Depends what you're talking about. Realistic women, but their ink can be anything. Just better not be ugly where I have to stare at. Say no to cutesy tramp stamps."

10/8- Brandon- "Sure, action movies are my thing. Love a good Bond girl if you know what I mean…"

11/8- Brandon- "The only art I understand is music. Beyond that, I don't need to fake it, I just don't care."

12/8- Brandon- "Designer all the way. You don’t get on sexy lists wearing ill-fitting bargain basement bullsh*t. Plus the free clothes or marketing money isn't bad when you're famous."

13/8- Brandon- "Women. Enough said."

14/8- Brandon- "Certainly not gentle, in any way. Fair in music consideration, but mostly critical everywhere else."

15/8- "Hey, you want to talk to me too? I'm Remmy, just the friendly security to Woods and occasional band wrangler when the manager is busy." *tips fedora in greeting, stepping up to stand behind Woods on the couch*

16/8- Remmy- "I like visiting museums for my hobbies yes. Then again, it depends on how you define art, as this one puts away food like no ones business, and this one has the habit of being the bands lightweight. That’s weird place art no one asks for…" *taps BGC*

17/8- Remmy- "After listening to this bunch bang around all night and day, I like to listen to a smooth station, or at least some smoother oldies."

18/8- Remmy- "Is it any different than watching the headbangers? Always wonder if they wake up with whiplash the next morning…"

19/8- Remmy- "Besides these guys? Not exactly. Plan on going to see someone and some music will play its part soon enough…"

20/8- Remmy- "My only art is information. Its how I keep Woods safe, keep the band life smooth and easy… Maybe in that way, I have picked up the juggling skill?"

21/8- Remmy- "What are you talking about? That's definitely the sort of question that skips over my head." *tips his fedora and straightens his bigger old school mod style jacket.*

22/8- *Silence until Remmy prods a man* "What? Oh yo! Tour life's been rough man, gotta get your zzz's in when you can. Especially when Remmy rattles on." *straightens up* "I'm Josh aka Angus, and this is Scotty the drummer" *Drums on Scotty's gut to wake him up too*

23/8- Josh-"Got new bass art, and tattoos. My wifey doesn't like me looking at much, or it's an earful."

Scotty-"Man at least you get to look. My wife won't even let me play drums in my house because of the baby. I get kicked out when it screams like a metalhead."

24/8- Josh & Scotty- "The Terminator Mockingbird T800 comes to mind." "Did you ever see the Heineken drums? Or the plastic video game fakeness?" *nudged by other band members before they accidentally speak in unison* "My wife."

29/8- *Both laugh, then Woods speaks for himself and Remmy* "Neither of us draw, and if we did, it would mostly be bollacks and bristols in Sharpies when the other passes out."

R-"It took a week to get the last one off  my chin…"

30/8- *Brandon talks over his bandmates* "There is a rather poorly done, wrong sided sort of bio out about me, but yes, I want more books about me, done CORRECTLY."

[gamerpluseu]

Death Stranding Review

Death Stranding Review, this is our take on one of the games of the year from 2019, exclusive to Playstation 4 Alright, let’s try this. https://youtu.be/tCI396HyhbQ Death Stranding Trailer I have been putting off writing this review for the longest time, and finally, I’ve dove into it!I have pulled the old typing keyboard out, dusted off the old writing laptop and yes, it’s time to try and put into words my experience with “Death Stranding”, Kojima’s latest masterpiece! If you have not gotten the hint yet, I liked it, I liked it a lot! Trying to get this as spoiler-free as possible, I will have to describe some of the mechanics of the game going forward (and in the case you’re like me and keeping yourself in the dark this far to fully experience the game, I will try to make this review as spoiler lite as possible, so you can now what to expect when buying and/or playing the game without robbing from you the excitement of actually discovering these mechanics for the first time) First off, let’s get one thing straight, Death Stranding is not your typical “Open World Action Game”. Death Stranding is a Cinematic Interactive Experience. If you set your expectations, you will have a much better time with this title My recommendations to play this game is a large-good quality screen, a dimmed light silent room and a good set of LOUD headphones (unless you suffer from heart conditions). Read the full article