#this was loooong i'm sorry!

[ameliecausse]

[celestial-sapphicss]

Jeff Satur – Dum Dum (ดึมดึม)

[liccy]

While fighting Talus for gems in TotK, I wondered if Ryouga's Breaking point technique would be effective on them? Talus are solid rock... But also considered "living beings"... At least by Kilton.

Also Ryouga lies. Pebblits are indeed VERY cute. Even when they go "boom!"

[alltimefail]

Please god either (1) release me from the throes of this Dead Boy Detectives hyperfixation or (2) let us get renewal news ASAP so the hyperfixation in question does not kill me

[leisi-lilacdreams]

IT'S HERE IT'S HERE IT'S FINALLY HERE! THE OFFICAL SHOP OPENING!

why april 1st? cause that's my birthday! woooo! °˖✧◝(≧▽≦)◜✧˖°

after months of work and prep, this is my birthday gift to me lol

Here's everything that will be in the shop!

Shop Link IG Link

Get your calendars and alarms set!

ps- i'm also trying to get into anime cons to sell at the AA i'm mainly based in the US south i've already got a few con set up for this year maybe you'll see me in the future 👀

secret bonus info: first 40 orders will get a random doodle (10x of each boy drawn) don't worry they'll be inked

if you put your tumblr name in the order notes and if i recognize it, i'll try to give you a boy you favor but no promises

[thursdaylebeau]

Throwing a wild thought to the wind, based purely on the fact that whenever I hear mention of nightingales, I think of The Nightingale and the Rose by Oscar Wilde...

No nightingales referring to them singing in Berkeley Square is a sad call to the ineffable husbands shared time together/their song. But if I use the short story for interpretation, then no nightingales (Crowley's love) singing because they've bled themselves to death for a book-smart boy (Aziraphale) to give a gift to an unappreciative love interest (Heaven) is...yeah...

And with Aziraphale, who is woefully out of touch with music but who definitely knows his Oscar Wilde; and Crowley, who doesn't do books, and is much more connected to music... their "nightingales" could both be devastating while not quite mean the same thing...

[blushinklaine]

so.. i know it's EARLY but like

when the theories begin bc i need to VENT

[windfighter]

Can you tell I don't care about football?

The title isn't even a title. I just really don't care about football and this is the second??? third??? time I use it to hurt this blorbo. Enjoy x3

Prompt: Blurry vision | Support | ”I think I need to sit down”

-----

Kouji stumbled. The world spun around him, out of focus. His head hurt. The air was thick and heavy and hard to get into his lungs. His heart banged against his ribcage. Quick beats like a woodpecker. An arm wrapped around his waist.

”You okay?”

Kouichi. Kouji leaned against him, blinked. Okay wasn’t… the right word.

”Think I’m sick”, he mumbled.

He waved a hand infront of his face. He could see it, but the edges were blurry. It probably meant something.

”World’s…”

He didn’t quite find the words to explain. Was too tired. His heart beat too loudly. Why did he come along to the park to begin with? His body tilted forwards and he didn’t have energy to fight it. Kouichi tugged at him, tried to get him to stay standing. It wouldn’t work.

”...think I need to sit down”, Kouji said.

Kouichi tugged at him again. Turned around a bit. Kouji had no idea what he was searching for.

”Alright, let’s get you seated down”, Kouichi said.

He took a step. Kouji tried to lift a foot, but his knees buckled. Hit the ground. Kouji’s head spun worse. He leaned forwards, hands against the grass. Closed his eyes. He could hear the others come closer as well. Izumi, Junpei, Tomoki and Takuya. He opened his eyes, but they didn’t want to stay open.

Why had he come along to the park?

A hand was placed on his shoulder, someone shook him. Sounds were starting to be just as blurry as his vision.

”Let’s get him lying down”, Junpei said. ”And get some water into him.”

Lying down sounded nice. Kouji leaned to the side, let gravity do the job of pulling him down. Hands turned him over, put him on his back. He blinked, but his eyes still didn’t want to stay open.

”Takuya, go get your bag”, Kouichi said.

Soft steps as Takuya ran away, returned. Something soft was placed under Kouji’s legs. The bag. They pulled his bandana off, put a wet towel across his forehead. His head slowly started cooperating again.

”Sorry”, he whispered.

”You have a fever”, Kouichi said.

Kouji wasn’t sure how Kouichi knew, but he nodded.

”You woke up with a fever”, Kouichi repeated, ”and decided that playing football sounded like a good idea.”

Kouji frowned. When Kouichi put it like that it made him sound like an absolute moron. He opened his eyes. The world was in focus.

”I didn’t think it was this bad?” he tried.

”You almost fainted”, Junpei said. ”That’s pretty bad.”

Kouji rubbed his eyes, yawned. Tried to sit up. Takuya put a foot on his shoulder.

”You’re not getting up until we’re sure you’re fine.”

Kouji felt small where he was on his back, with Takuya, Izumi and Tomoki towering above him. At least Junpei and Kouichi had the sense to sit down. He turned towards Kouichi.

”I’m fine, promise.”

Fine was an exaggeration, but the air didn’t feel as thick any longer. Kouichi looked at him, put his head in his hands and shook it.

”Fine, sit up if you want to.”

Takuya took his foot off Kouji’s shoulder, took a step back. Kouji stayed on the ground. He took a shaky breath. Tomoki sat down.

”Are you thirsty?” he asked.

”I’m not helpless”, Kouji answered.

”No, but are you thirsty?”

Kouji snorted. His throat felt dry.

”A bit”, he admitted.

Tomoki disappeared out of Kouji’s field of view, rummaged around in the bag under his legs. A bottle was placed in Kouji’s hand and Kouji took a few sips out of it. The water was cool despite the sun shining on them. Kouji closed his eyes and put the bottle on the ground again.

”...call mom or dad?” he asked.

He wasn’t helpless but his head still felt a bit weird and he wasn’t sure he could muster the words to explain to his parents what happened. Kouichi squeezed his shoulder, took the phone from his pocket. Kouji listened as Kouichi explained what had happened. Someone took the towel from Kouji’s forehead, rewetted it and put it back. They talked quietly, Kouji didn’t listen. He was almost drifting off.

”Mama’s on the way”, Kouichi said. ”How are you feeling?”

”Tired?” Kouji suggested.

He put a hand on his chest, massaged it. His heart felt like it was trying to escape through his ribcage. Kouichi frowned.

”Is it pneumonia?”

Kouji shook his head.

”Heart’s still racing”, he said. ”It’s uncomfortable.”

”Are you having a fucking heart attack?!”

Kouichi’s suddenly louder voice made Kouji’s head pound again. He clenched his eyes shut and shook his head.

”I’m too young for a heart attack”, he said with a laugh.

”Young people can get heart attacks too, especially if they decide to work out when they have a fever.”

”Really feel like you’re scolding me now.”

He pushed himself into a sitting position. The towel fell to the ground next to him. His head spun, but not as bad as earlier. He put his hands in his lap, kicked the bag to the side. Took a few deep breaths to try and get his speeding heart under control. He hadn’t expected it to get this bad.

”It’s not a heart attack”, he repeated.

Kouichi opened his mouth to protest. Kouji was so tired. He leaned forwards, put his head in his hands.

”No, really, it’s not. Mom’s taught me the signs in case dad would get one.”

Kouichi sighed. Moved closer and sat down right next to Kouji.

”...okay then. Think you can walk to the parking lot?”

Kouji hesitated. Maybe. The thought of standing up sounded like a chore. He put a hand on the ground.

”Have to”, he answered.

Because he did, didn’t he? Mom wouldn’t be able to carry him there and he wasn’t helpless. Just a little sick and tired. He got his feet under himself, pushed himself up. The world spun. His head exploded. Someone wrapped an arm around his waist and put his arm over their shoulders.

”Easy there.”

Takuya. Kouji’s legs trembled. But he wasn’t falling back down. Success? He leaned against Takuya. Takuya laughed.

”Need me to carry you?”

”Don’t think I’m that sick”, Kouji said.

Kouichi stood up, grabbed Kouji's hand and pressed two fingers against his wrist. Kouji blinked, stared at him. There was a frown on Kouichi’s face.

”If you can carry him, please do”, Kouichi said.

He let go of Kouji, shook his head. Crossed his arms over his chest. Kouji rolled his eyes.

”That’s almost as high as your exercise pulse.”

”I have been working out”, Kouji said.

”Yeah, but it’ll usually be normal by now.”

Kouichi had that irritating know-it-all voice he got when he knew better than Kouji. Kouji rolled his eyes again and tried to take a step. Takuya followed, but Kouji’s legs didn’t quite want to carry him, his lungs didn’t quite want to get enough air. His chest hurt and his pulse sped up. He clenched his hand around Takuya’s shirt. Why did he get out of bed?

Takuya laughed, took a better grip around Kouji’s waist before leaning down. His other arm behind Kouji’s knees and the world tilted. Kouji stared at the sky. Well, this was stupid. The whole situation was stupid. He put his head on Takuya’s shoulder, released a frustrated breath.

”Just this once”, he said.

”Just this once”, Takuya agreed.

Kouji closed his eyes, counted his heartbeats as Takuya walked. Way too high, but he wouldn’t admit that if he could avoid it. Mom would know what to do. He pressed a hand against his chest. Next time he was sick he’d just stay in bed until he was better.

Yeah, no, that was a lie. He wouldn’t and he knew it.

Takuya stopped. Kouji blinked, looked around. Already at the parking lot. Takuya let go of Kouji’s legs, lowered him onto a bench. Kouji rubbed his eyes, leaned forwards. His head pounded to the beat of his heart and his stomach was starting to protest as well.

”How…” he started. Swallowed. ”How do I look?”

He hoped it didn’t come across as flirtatious. That Takuya wouldn’t answer in a flirtatious manner. He needed to know.

”Like death walked over you”, Kouichi answered.

”Yeah…”

Kouji pulled his hands across his face. Leaned back and closed his eyes. He felt like it too. He heard a car pull up, the door open. What sounded like mom’s shoes against asphalt. A hand against his knee, Kouichi’s awkward greeting. Kouji opened his eyes. Mom. She looked at him, grabbed his hand. Put two fingers against his wrist in a gesture he wasn’t supposed to notice. She frowned and Kouji agreed.

”Hey”, she said. ”Ready to go?”

She didn’t mean home, he could see it in her eyes. But they didn’t need to worry the others. He nodded, reached for Takuya. Takuya pulled him up, held him as he stumbled to the car. Mom opened the door to the passenger seat and Kouji sank down in it. Buckled up before leaning back, closing his eyes and listening to his heart pounding in his ears.

”Can I come with you?” Kouichi asked.

Their voices sounded far away, from the other side of an iron door. Kouji leaned the seat back a little. He was starting to feel dizzy.

”I’m sorry, Kouichi. Not this time. We’ll call you later, I promise.”

”From the hospital”, Kouji slurred because his brain was an asshole and decided to let it slip.

He really wasn’t feeling well. Cartoonish noises left Kouichi, or maybe it was just Kouji’s brain playing trick on him. Someone closed the door on his side, he couldn’t tell who from behind his closed eyelids. The darkness was nice though. Soft. Silent.

...they should probably have called an ambulance.

The engine roared to life and the car shook. Kouji pressed a hand against his mouth, then let it fall down. He was drained. Mom squeezed his knee, or was he imagining, and then the car jerked as mom pressed the gas pedal down. Kouji slid against the window. It was cool, released some of the ache behind his forehead. He sighed.

If whatever was wrong didn’t kill him, Kouichi would.

[luaminesce]

I guess furthering on from a previous post wrt Bayo 3, BayoJeanne, etc. (and TW for mental illness, depression, internalised homophobia/comphet and self-harm):

I was having a rough, horrible time in the weeks up to the game's release. I was struggling a lot with comphet and not feeling "queer enough to be a lesbian/sapphic". This wasn't helped by an incident, that I won't get into, that made me feel insecure in my identity; which led to a suicide attempt in turn. I'd already had some doubts/fears about what was going to happen in B3 (knowing media's track record with sapphic ships) which added to the fire; yet the hope that maybe, just maybe I'd be wrong kept me going.

And then the ending happened. And it felt like a slap in the face. All that pain I'd gone through; of doubting my sense of queerness, fears and worries of having to have sex with/date a man, comments about sapphism/lesbianism being "phase" from homophobic tweets and comments and articles, hit back at me like a brick.

Perhaps I'm an idiot; finding queer euphoria in a video game about witches and demons built for a general audience of cishet and queer gamers alike; for a femslash ship in a scene that always hasn't been great in regards to queer representation. Heck, perhaps I'm an idiot for overinvesting in a ship in the first place. But it still hurt.

I'm feeling more stable in my lesbianism now. Thankfully I have a wonderful family and friends that support me, and I'm slowly finding queer community. And I still love Bayonetta, BayoJeanne, etc. But the "wounds" from everything are still there.

[justahappycloud]

follow forever list?

took forever to answer but @duquesademiel @moonchildreads @enchantedlandcoffee @nooradeservedbetter @larrysballetslippers @parentalziam @larry-hiatus @always-in-love-x @greeneyesfriedrice

I'm probably forgetting some people but these are the blogs that bring me joy that i see here the most

[dawnagustd]

@yoonallthetime here are some of my notes from draft one. all i’ll say is... welcome 2 hell.

tw: murder/killing

[tolltale]

Band name, Persona, Manager, Besties, Wild card, 4 Sam?

THANK YOU FOR ASKING also it got distressingly long if u read it all you're a HERO

ask meme

Band name: How did they and the others come up with the band name? Has the name changed since it was founded?

"merry bones" comes from one of the first songs they wrote as a band about how happy performing together made them and how they could feel "in their bones" that's what they wanted to do forever. (didn't age well for one member specifically 😐) It was "happy bones" initially but they were unconvinced. the merry part came from an anecdote of the first (and last, until the band) experience sam had singing to an audience being christmas caroling in the neighbourhood at like 9yo, and the fact that she hated it enough she threw a tantrum and stormed off mid-performance once. so it was a little bit an inside joke for the band and another bit seven insisting she had to like. reclaim the bad first experience and associate it to something that made her happy instead dgdjdk. she thought it sounded dumb but the idea grew on her with time lol

Persona: How does their day-to-day personality compare to their on-stage persona?

mmhh on stage I would say she appears more confident and self assured, doing what she's best at and what makes her the happiest. more intense and out there too. off stage she's still very outgoing but not in an intense way. She's friendly in a way that usually puts people at ease rather than intimidate......most of the time. she's also very aware of the fact she's performing for an audience and has to present a certain way and "deliver an experience". it was a lot less like that when she was in a duet but now she feels the pressure of being the solo singer and having most of the attention. then again Sam performs off stage too lol she tries to charm and be funny and is overly aware of the way she presents herself and the kind of image she wants to project. There are few people who get to see her with her guards completely down

Manager: Do they get along with Orion? What do they think of him as their band manager?

not only does sam like orion a lot she's also immensely incredibly grateful to him and she takes every chance to say the band wouldn't be where they are without him and she means it 100%. they met when she was aimless and the only reasons why she was still trying so hard to find success with the band were not letting down her friends and because losing seven would have been meaningless if she quit. And seeing someone believe in the band and their music strongly enough to drop literally everything was like a wake-up call. because she also chose the band and music over everything else she just had to remember why. She also appreciates that he often can offer a logical point of view. when she is feeling doubtful about their music/performance (ALBEIT RARELY) she goes to him because she doesn't want the others to know. to the band she's like "okay this one is the album that gets us a Grammy I KNOW IT" and to Orion she's like . "okay should I drop everything and become like. An accountant instead. BE HONEST"

also like recognises like and when they met they were both romantically still going through it so Sam definitely had a Recognition Through the Other moment. "That guy needs help. Yes I'm sure . No I'm not telling you why." they have mutual soft spots for each other bc i say so <3

Besties: What’s their friendship with Rowan like? What are some things only he knows about them?

it's a very two peas in a pod kind of deal. they're both warm friendly people and like to joke around and are difficult to anger. they also both share the sense of humor of a 12 years old. I think he's the one she's the most physically affectionate with out of everyone in the band. He's the only one who knows the full extent of how she felt about The Vote and what doubts THAT stirred >:( Like is she only valued for her voice??? if their fans preferred seven would she have gotten kicked to the curb instead?? fun stuff like that. She's 98% over it right now . On a good day. On a bad day I'll say 68% ☠️

Wild card: Tell us something about your MC! Feel free to really just roll us over with an emotional steamroller and crush the souls out of our bodies, if you’d like. (You’re also welcome to choose one of the other questions to answer!)

the whole tattoo ordeal with seven did not stop her liking of matching tattoos At All. She is nothing if not someone who repeats a mistake fifteen times dhdkdm she's constantly pitching ideas for like. A band tattoo they should all get or they should all draw something and she gets it all tattooed or Rowan can design something etc etc. sometimes her friends think it's because she wants a GOOD matching tattoo to redeem the first bad one but she genuinely doesn't regret it it's like. What if the relationship has soured or things go wrong it doesn't MATTER because there was a point in which they believed in it so much they were willing to permanently ink it on their skin. And that's never becoming untrue. It's real and that's what matters <3 That said her face still scrunches up like she bit into a lemon whenever she sees photos/videos of herself with the tattoo on full display. Hashtag no regrets

[midwestblue]

long post about the current stage of my mental health recovery! brief sui mention but I wouldn't say its negative!

I often think about the fact that im trying to make things better and how me from just a year ago would be so proud. To be honest, I wasn't trying to get better back then. Things are still bad, of course, but I'm not actively making them worse out of guilt or because I think I deserve it. I ruined a lot of good relationships, I stopped taking care of my health, I didn't go out and interact with the world, I stopped trying to form new relationships, and overall I just wanted to die (I think I'll always be suicidal, but I haven't planned attempts in quite a long while. This is the longest I've gone without doing it I think!)

I used to strongly believe that I deserved this pain – that every terrible thing that's happened to me was because I was worthless, horrible, and a disappointment. I didn't want to look into why I was feeling that why, who made me feel that way, and what I could do to stop it. I just thought I was terrible, and that was that! There's no saving this basket case! There's no good qualities here! but that's not the truth at all. I excused my terrible actions because I thought that's all that I was – a disgusting person and nothing more. I expected people to accept my awfulness because they should know I'm terrible too. That was never fair to the people in my life who didn't see me in that way, who were nothing but kind and open and truthful with me. Who loved me despite how I viewed myself. I hurt a lot of people in my life, including myself. Whenever I would do something terrible, I would always tell myself that this is who I was, that im worthless and I don't deserve anyones kindness, that they'll realize soon enough how disgusting I am and leave me, etc etc. but in doing that, I cemented the lie that I can't get better, and I'll always hurt people. So I didn't try to be anything more. I didn't try to do anything more. I was ok with being mentally ill. This was my only defense against my own pain. I didn't think there was a way I could get better or heal, and I don't think I wanted to, either. I thought I was a lost cause. I've been so cruel to myself and others, and I don't want to be this way anymore. I'm going to get better even if it kills me. Even if it's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. This year has been one of the most difficult years of my life, but it's also been one full of healing, friendships, and growth. I have a very long way to go. I don't want to sit here and act like I'm not mentally ill anymore or that I've become this saint of a person compared to who I was years ago, but I'm trying. I'm trying every single day to be better than who I was before. When I was younger, all I was doing was trying to die. I thought it was the only answer. But now I want to live. desperately, I want to live. Despite how the world is, I want to live. No matter how much I think about ending my life or how much I hate the situations I'm in, I still want to live. I still want to have hope. I really do want to get better

[edgydadster]

Hey uh body I'd really appreciate you stop feeling exhausted and depressed all the time, thanks.

I've slept for... what, more that like 13 or so hours today. Even more than that the past few. I've slept in until THREE one time. Which, that felt terrible... I have a strict routine, I'm pretty sure it's an autism thing? But if I don't wake up before one I get really anxious and annoyed and my entire day is ruined. And guess what? On top of that, still fucking tired!

C'mon! What's it take for a guy to get a pinch of happiness around here!

Why that reference came to mind, I don't know. But this is killing me. And on top of that I'm stressed out because tomorrow I gotta finish around three art projects for my friends! Hell, one of them doesn't even LIKE Christmas but I love them more than anything in the world and must give them a present.

And hopefully... giving them out will make me happy again? I get happy giving people things. It's kinda my love language. I get super excited and happy and even more so when they react positively to it.

God that makes me sound selfish. I'm not giving them out for myself, but for them. I want my friends to be happy. I'd feel bad if I didn't get them something.

Anyway, yeah. Just too much going on.

I've never felt this way for so many days in a row... It's like... a lot. I've been like this since Thursday of last week. Never went away.

I don't even remember what happened. I think it started with my mother then...it just spiraled. I never felt the same again. Just tired, overwhelmed, and for some reason filled with a sharp pain of guilt and sorrow. It's so much and,

I want it to stop...

[prostopaket]

Hello ! I'm sorry I wasn't posting anything for like...a really I mean REALLY long time, but I have this project called "DelusionalSam " (it's on tumblr). It's a slenderverse story, so if you all are interested you can...I dunno look at it or something:)

I just really want to show it to people!

Anyway thanks for reading, I might start posting more ! You can ask me questions!

(Also yes I understand Russian lmao )

[horanghey]

sometimes im grateful that i basically wasnt allowed to wear makeup growing up but other times (like now) I'm so annoyed that i never went against my mom and just experimented with products