#this was just a subtle but obvious hint to throw right at us to start this whole series and i'm here for it!!!!!
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books-and-dragons · 1 year ago
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the trailer came in SWINGING
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so in the trailer, the statue percy is looking at, the one he's considering as the 'statue that speaks most to you' is perseus, his namesake
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this series is going to end us with its references and clever analogies, and we're going to thank them for it
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softxsuki · 1 year ago
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💐Oh my! Someone's just confessed to you!! Who is this mysterious person and what do you say??💐
How Zoro Confesses
Pairing: Zoro x Fem!Reader
Warnings: none
Genre: Fluff
Post-Type: headcanons
Word Count: 710
Summary: In which Zoro "confesses" to you
[A/N: Is this an actual request? No, it isn't. Have I been craving to finally write for one piece? Yes, yes I have. So here it is. My official debut with my first writing for OP. AND I AM TAKING OP REQUESTS SO SEND THEM ALL MY WAY. At the moment I write for Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ace, Shanks, and Law. As I continue to watch, I'l add more characters (if any stand out to me and inspire me to write) I'll update that on my 'who I write for' page linked on my navigation page. SO YES PLEASE SEND ME ALL YOUR OP REQUESTS I WANT TO WRITE FOR THEM MORE FREQUENTLY PLS. ]
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Zoro:
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Confession? Yeah you're not getting a direct confession from this guy--not happening
So how can you tell that this green-haired looker has a thing for you?
Lets just say his subtle acts over time definitely hint to it
It starts with small glances
His eyes seem to linger on you a little longer than necessary
When he walks into the kitchen for a meal with the crew, he finds himself looking for you first
Though he doesn't think much of it at first, and neither do you
You were close to Zoro as he was usually chill and you felt comfortable in his presence--though you couldn't deny the way your heart beat a little faster whenever he chose to sit next to you
Or the way you held your breath a little when he leaned slightly over you at the dining table to grab some food, his chest brushing against your face lightly
Zoro gets annoyed at himself when his ears get red whenever you playfully tease him
He hates the way his stomach knots up when he see's you too close to any of the guys on the crew, especially Sanji since he knows how bold the cook is with you
Whenever he says something you might find funny, he looks in your direction to see if he got a laugh out of you
These subtleties get a little more obvious and direct as even more time passes
When you arrive at a new island and the crew decide to split up to cover more ground, he volunteers to go with you, not giving curly-brows a chance to get his hands on you
He typically likes to be alone, but he can't help but enjoy your presence, so you find yourself having many naps with him on the Sunny
Your naps get cozier the more frequently they happen
They start with the two of you sat-up beside each other, and eventually his head or your head fall over onto the others shoulder
But eventually one of you uses the others lap as a pillow and sometimes Zoro can't help his curious fingers as they traverse the tresses of your hair, flinching away whenever you stir in your sleep
After a new months, you do everything together, from training, to washing dishes, napping, shopping, etc
It gets to the point where the crew always expect you to be together
So no, a verbal confession never does happen, you kinda naturally end up together
Perhaps Zoro gets fed up with Sanji one day and snatches you away from him with his ears flaring red and he yells profanities at the cook for always touching you and being close to you for no reason
Or it become obvious that you're a thing when you both glare at anyone who gets too close to the other for comfort
Yet you whenever you're close to each other it feels...right
Your hands brush each other as you walk side by side
Your thighs touch as you sit next to each other at dinner
God-forbid someone takes his self-proclaimed assigned seat beside you, he'd throw a fit
It isn't until one night at one of the many celebrations you all had that it becomes crystal clear how you both feel about each other
Zoro was drinking, like usual and was a little buzzed, but not completely drunk
He was watching you like usual as he drank, naturally protective of you and wanting to make sure no one took advantage of you
His heart beats a little faster as you approach him, a little buzzed yourself
You take the seat beside him and turn in his direction, but he's already looking at you
Your bodies seem to gravitate to one another and he can't help but close the remaining space between you as his lips crash onto yours
Without even thinking, your hands wrap around his neck and his own hands slither their way around your waist
He pulls aways flustered and flushed as usual, but downs another drink and you do that same as a small smile graces your lips
From that day forwards, kisses became more frequent between you whenever you were alone
But still, not a word was ever really said, it kinda just...happened :)
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REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D
Posted: 6/13/2023
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kuschelkissen · 6 months ago
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reverse unpopular opinion: nagano trio
Ppl send topics and instead of salt or hot takes, you MUST talk abt smth you like about it. Good excuse to gush abt smth you already love, OR think and find smth positive to say. 
LMAO what have you done, as if I'm not already gushing over them at any given time during the day 😂
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Long post under cut, so you can skip more easily
I'm not even gonna talk about the shipping side of them because you see me gushing over that all the time anyway.
(Plus, I have a metaphorical goldfish brain, and I don't even remember how it all started 😅)
So.
What is there NOT to like about them??
I really love their overall dynamic. All three of them, but also the individual pairs.
It's not really stated, but in my head, they're all childhood friends. Kansuke and Yui are confirmed to be, and Kansuke and Taka'aki... kinda? They've canonically known each other since grade school and always competed with each other, established to be "rivals" since then. So it's reasonable to assume that all three of them spent at least some time together, right?.
(And they still do, look at them hanging out together after work.)
(They're on a date)
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I love their bickering and teasing.
Yui calling Kansuke "Kan-chan", and when he objects, she goes: "Yeah, yeah, inspector Yamato 😉", clearly not taking him seriously (and he knows it. Just look at him "=_=").
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Then you have Taka'aki mocking Kansuke for being so obvious in his plan of helping him get back to headquarters. "I would have done the same for you, but I would've been way more subtle about it." - "Yeah you know what, you can stay here and rot for all I care! =_="
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Both of them are teasing Kansuke in the woodpecker episode about the bad plan of Yamamoto, just for him to go "?? It's not MY plan, so why are you acting like it is??" (Look at their faces, man, Taka'aki looks so playful 😂)
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And Kansuke is overall just... Kansuke. 😅 The first scene with him is yelling at Yui, and more or less the first scene with Taka'aki is him basically telling him to drop dead (and boy, does he look HURT by that??). AND YET??
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Yet, it is very obvious that he cares for both of them. They all do.
In their first case, Yui throws herself in the way of a bullet to protect Kansuke after he tried to protect her first (I think this is anime only).
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Kansuke tells her that he's gonna wait for her to return to him the police.
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Kansuke brought Conan to the Red Wall case not to help him, but so Taka'aki could solve it with his help and then return to HQ (which in the end was useless because Taka'aki actually cracked the message before anyone else lol).
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We find out that Taka'aki went against all orders to find Kansuke, who had been declared dead, and got demoted because of that (he dashed to his support...).
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Kansuke was ready to throw himself into a house completely ENGULFED in flames to save Taka'aki from death. And Yui DID throw herself into those flames! (still salty that they didn't show us how she rescued him)
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You have Kansuke and Taka'aki communicating completely nonverbal on more than one occasion.
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And then of course we have all the tragedies surrounding them.
The death of Kai Kuroto, Yui finding his dead body. Kansuke going missing on the search for his murder, declared dead, then found again in a coma, with his eye lost and leg damaged in undisclosed way (they hint that it's reversible in the Woodpecker case (Manga only), but who knows). Taka'aki getting demoted after throwing himself into the search for Kansuke, Yui on the other hand getting married to a suspect to further investigate Kai's murder.
And do I even have to mention the whole Family-murder past for Taka'aki?? Imagine coming home at 13 (?14?) from summer camp and finding your parents brutally murdered and your little brother traumatised (and we know he's only still alive because the murderer thought he'd lead him to his (dead) daughter one day! So it could've ended even worse!), then being separated from your brother by long distance (I checked, it's about a 3h ride by train from Nagano city to Tokyo.), AND THEN YOUR LITTLE BROTHER IS ALSO KILLED WHILE UNDERCOVER?? Give that man a fucking break!!
Also love how all of them had been a crime suspect at least once lol
And appart from all of that, I just love how the Trio just... accepts that Conan is ... different. There are no questions asked when he storms onto the crime scene, they'll let him watch the gruesome surveillance videos, no big deal, they overall just... treat him like an equal?
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I mean?! In their second appearance, Kansuke and Yui go all the way to Tokyo just to get him on the case! Sure, officially they get Kogoro, but Yui outright tells Conan that Kansuke came to get him!
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I also just love how they can keep up with him. Sure, you have Conan making hints for the other cops, too, and them then figuring things out, but with the Nagano Trio, they often figure out things ALONGSIDE of Conan, getting the same ideas, etc (well, Taka'aki and Kansuke at least, Yui only did that once in her debut episode you can blame Aoyama for sidelining his female characters once again) and like I said, I think Taka'aki in the Red Wall case is one of the very, VERY few occasions of someone cracking a code BEFORE Conan. I love it?! They're so fucking smart!
So... yeah?? I think I'm done gushing. For now. Insert Marge Simpson Meme, I just think they're neat??
And imagining them as a throuple makes it all so much funnier.
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mostlikelytofangirl · 1 year ago
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Hmm something popped into my head hmmmm
Ever thought about su3zun? Like okay 3zun are fucked up already as they are but add SMS to the mix. I feel it would make things fun
/Insert that's my husband and that's his boyfriend meme
I just think it would be funny to add SMS into them. Tbh I'm not sure in which direction it would go but it would be very fun to read/write about
Ok now that's one unhinged idea and I'm loving the absolute Chaos it could unleash XD
Tbh neither do I know how it could even happen in the first place, but like. I think I can see SMS being that much of a protective guard dog, that he just has to be around JGY no matter what or who. Especially if those ppl are:
a. NMJ, who has made it very clear that he doesn't trust JGY anymore and can't control his anger for shit.
and b. A Lan. It doesn't matter that it's the Lan that has shown time and time again that he holds JGY in the highest regard. SMS is just conditioned to Not Trust Lans.
So as soon as the brotherhood happens, SMS simply won't leave JGY's side when nielan is around. Much to JGY's initial dismay, but there's no polite way to shoo someone, and SMS purposedly doesn't catch any of the subtle hints JGY throws his way to please leave.
So now they are all sitting there, awkwardly looking at each other and then at the guy sitting next to JGY like that's normal.
I imagine LXC would be the most diplomatic and just ignore the elephant in the room despite being Annoyed, but JGY difuses the tension as best he can bc SMS really doesn't intervene or anything, so it's kinda easy to even pretend he's not there.
Until NMJ and JGY start to argue (bc of course), LXC tries to calm them down, but he's just... taking too long?? How can he be so passive when someone is yelling at JGY???
SMS reacts and he couldn't care less about how stupid it is to yell back at freaking NMJ, but he can't just sit idle and let a goddamn Lan handle this!!
I can see NMJ being taken aback by the outburst (he sorta forgot about him lol), and that actually managed to calm them all down for the time being. But NMJ is left all "who tf even are you??" and of course LXC is too polite to remind NMJ of what SMS did right in front of the guy in question, so he gets his answer right from the source, how he started his own sect, and JGY pointing out his talent with transportation arrays and whatnots.
And honesty? I see SMS slowly earning NMJ's respect. Sure, NMJ is not a fan of how the guy will just agree with everything JGY says, but he has guts and determination, and while he did do the dumb thing that got him kicked out of the Lan sect, he's making a sort of name for himself (mostly) on honest hard work.
LXC would be the most difficult for obvious reasons, but since he's the least petty Lan to ever Lan, instead of getting all jealous and bothered with how close SMS is to JGY and all, I can see him making an effort to try to understand what's so great about him that JGY holds him in high regard.
I have no idea of how it would all evolve from there, but mostly I see NMJ and LXC getting used to seeing SMS around JGY, even if that means NMJ having this guy jumping at him as soon as he gets frustrated with JGY, and LXC no longer being the hardest jiggy stan in the room, so do with that what you will :'D
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uselessidiotsquad · 2 years ago
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if you'd still like ship asks--have 4. 6, 8, and 27 for campfire cats (because i was browsing your tags on that post and discovered a ship i had not seen you mention before! and i am now curious, hence, questions :D) @kerra-and-company
Ty for the ask! Yeah it's a new ship of mine based purely off of 'what would be funny' and then into 'oh no this works actually'.
4. How did they first meet?
Before IBS, when she was just starting to work with Efram. Efram had a few groups of Flame that he was organizing to help with issues reputation issues (realizing it's gonna take more than just him to try and convince people that Flame had changed).
He was trying to help a group set up an effigy and was trying to be patient explaining to some of the younger Flame charr what they were doing wrong, while also having to hold onto red hot metal structures together while the young ones tried to get their magic working again. The combo of trying to be patient but also like OW THIS IS VERY HOT CAN YOU HURRY UP PLEASE she found very amusing.
6. When did they realize they loved each other?
Phil, bless him, is not the brightest knife in the lightbulb drawer at times. He only really realized it after she straight up told him, since the big dude does not do hints. This would probably be around the time Smodur got a lead sandwich delivered right to his face. Things got sent into disarray and they had to regroup so she had a minute to think. Phil always found her attractive but isn't one for assuming so minded his own business.
Crecia had known for longer and tried the old throwing hints around but in a way that wouldn't be obvious to others. It worked in that it was also not obvious to Phil! Getting swept up in the Charr drama meant that she had quit throwing hints out for a while.
8. What’s one way their personalities compliment one another?
We have someone who knows the ins and outs of politics and how to get things done behind the scenes and then someone who cannot be subtle to save his life and has a hands on approach to everything. They are opposites but sort of a breath of fresh air for each of them? Cre's used to the drama of Charr power struggles and people being backstabbing and sideways. Phil's used to solving things one step at a time with practical uses and applications.
He doesn't understand the point of all the wishy-washy people making decisions and she wonders how he can be transparent so much. Phil appreciates her intellect and planning ability - Cre appreciates that she doesn't have to be on eggshells around him.
27. What random everyday object/activity makes them think of each other?
Since they are both fire magic using elementalists, it's usually something related to fire. When the clouds are like really thin and grery/wispy to the point where they almost look like smoke it reminds Cre of him. Also anything to do with food or baking since he works with ovens/furnaces/stoves.
And this is sappy but anything that's like 'powerful but pretty' makes Phil think of her. But more in a mundane sense but like a nice sunset, some cool looking rock formations, and things like that. Things that are shows of force but not destructive.
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no-droids · 4 years ago
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Whenever You Want
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Part Fourteen of the Rough Day Series
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 11.2K
Warnings: Listen there is some dirty smut in this one yall okay like I was blushing when I wrote it, it has a very stark beginning and theres a pagebreak afterwards if you would prefer to skip over it. Smut includes oral sex (female receiving) rough sex, sensory deprivation, butt stuff (ass to mouth, anal fingering/penetration) so PLEASE LOOK OUT FOR IT PLEASE. Also there is jealous/possessive mando in this, season 1 Karga makes another appearance, and some angst/fluff towards the end
A/N: Nothing much today yoditos just love you all
***
Din said he’d meet you here.
You’re currently sitting across from Greef Karga in a cantina on Nevarro, a closed shield next to you and a blaster tucked into the back of your waistband, hidden underneath your shirt.  You’re barely even looking at him, though—your eyes are attached to the door by an invisible string, forcing your gaze back to it no matter how much it bounces around the room.
You don’t know where Din is, you haven’t seen him in hours.  But you do know that when he left, he was moving slower than you’re used to.  You don’t think anyone else would notice, but you sure did.  Not that he was obvious about it—you only picked up on very subtle hints.  Leaning up against things just a bit more than he usually does.  Taking slightly longer exiting the ramp of the Crest than his normal strides would carry him.
He didn’t say what he was going to do—just that he needed to find someone before meeting with Karga, and you accepted it.  But truthfully, you didn’t want to.  You were worried about him—still are, actually.  But for all intents and purposes, he was speaking and acting like himself, showing no real signs of exhaustion other than the smallest instances you described before, so you didn’t really have a leg to stand on.  He’s been through way worse, and you know it.  You just… find yourself worrying about him so much more than you used to, and you need to learn how to gain some control over that part of you.
The kid was still passed out from healing him and you remember Din carefully setting four pucks down in the sleeping baby’s sphere and giving his ears a gentle rub between leather fingers.  He turned back to you and told you to meet him at the cantina in three hours, but if it ended up taking him too long for any reason, to try your best to see if Karga will let you exchange on his behalf.
Admittedly, he didn’t sound too confident about it—the instructions were delivered with a tone that implied a doubtful, just-in-case scenario he wasn’t foreseeing happening.  Or maybe he just doubted the likelihood of Karga agreeing to do business with you, you’re not entirely sure.  All you know is that when he left, you were almost certain he wouldn’t be late, but you also took the time to grab the smallest blaster from his armory before heading out just in case.
Yet—here you are, three and a half hours later, eyes flicking between the door and Karga as you attempt to keep up polite conversation.  After turning down his offer of alcohol for the fifth time and still not seeing any glimpse of beskar coming to your rescue, you figure this may be as good a time as any to start the exchange.
During an extended break in the small talk, you slowly reach over to the corner of your booth and press a button on the face of the kid’s shield.  It hisses open and you completely miss the way Karga’s hand raises while three of his guards automatically reach for their hips.  The little green monster is still snoozing comfortably while you pull out the four glowing pucks Din left you and set them on the table one by one.
They scrape along the top of it as you slowly push them over to him, before sitting back in the booth and clearing your throat, flicking your eyes between Karga and his guards.  To you, nobody appears to have moved, so you muster a polite smile at him.
Karga smiles back, but makes no move to gather or inspect the offerings in front of him.
“Um…” you say after a moment, suddenly feeling your heart start to beat a little faster.  “Mando… Mando gave me permission to exchange on his behalf.”
“I believe you,” he drawls out in response, but the pucks still sit untouched in front of him as he leans back in the booth and studies you.  “Mando has always had a… let’s say, a frustrating penchant for disregarding the pillars of our code.  My apologies, young lady, but I’m afraid that I cannot accept these from you.”
Your voice comes out quieter than you’d like it to sound.  “Why not?”
“It is… unlawful,” he answers after a moment.  “Our organization operates under strict rules.”
Does it?  You blink.  No, it doesn’t.  You’re nothing to the Guild and you’ve sat next to Din quite a few times while Karga talked, listening to him drunkenly boast about return rates and out members by name.  You’re not sure why he’s barring you like this, but you’re also not self-assured enough to put practically any spine into it whatsoever.  “I’m… afraid I don’t understand.”
“I cannot legally do guild business with individuals not recognized as members in an official capacity,” he sighs, sounding grave and almost apologetic about it, but you don’t know him well enough to know if he’s a good actor or not.  “There’s nothing I can do for you besides provide you with my company, not until Mando decides to show.”
Well now that doesn’t make any sense, and you’re starting to worry that for some reason or another, he isn’t going to show.  Though it was incredibly well concealed, you’re well aware that Din was still lingering in the final recovery stages when he left the Crest earlier and all you have to go on is his word that he’d be here.  Something could’ve happened.  Something could be happening right now, you need to push.
“People pick up bounties for extra credits all the time,” you mumble, still way too fucking quiet about it.  Maker, you’re not even sure if he could hear that over the sound of the cantina.  Speak up, speak up.
“Yes, but those quarry are listed on the New Republic’s most wanted database,” Karga acknowledges diplomatically, educating more than he is arguing, before uncorking the bottle of glowing blue alcohol in front of him and beginning to pour himself another shot.  “They’re fodder.  Up for grabs—names, last known locations, and biometrics published for the entire galaxy to read.”  He tilts his head down at the four metal pucks on the table without removing his gaze from the gradually filling glass.  “Those pucks are different, they’re commissions.  Tied specifically to Guild contracts.”  Karga clunks the bottle back down again and corks it, pinning you with a stare.  “For all I know, you could’ve murdered a member of our ranks and come to collect payment for his bounties.  Can’t have that.”
Your blood suddenly turns to ice at the implication, eyes wide and your heartbeat rocketing as you look from Karga to the three guards casually stationed behind him.  “You—You think I murdered Mando?”
“No,” he says, easily and in the very same breath, before throwing the shot back and wiping his mouth with a grimace.  “Not sure I’d care too much if you did.  It’s not my rule, but I am required to follow it or risk losing my position in the Guild.”
Shit.  Shit.  What do you do?
You’re blank, left quiet and feeling increasingly unsure of how to proceed.  Karga, however, seems completely unbothered and even appears to be enjoying himself and your company.  He gives you another smile, this one a lot friendlier and more genuine than the one earlier, before setting his elbows on the table and leaning forward.
“Look, I want to help you,” he admits, keeping his tone light, “but my hands are tied.  Just relax and share a drink with me until he gets here, it’s not a problem.”
Fuck, you don’t like this, and a quick look around brings another reminder of Din’s continued absence.  Your chest feels tight, the anxiety starting to compound and make you jumpy.  It’s been too long—it’s been at least forty minutes or so of waiting by now and something just feels wrong about this.  Not having him next to you feels wrong enough on its own, but when he specifically told you he’d be here?
You clench your jaw and try to work up your nerve.  Karga is a nice guy, right?  He knows you by name, he knows who you are to Mando.  And while you never really thought about the bounty hunter’s omnipresent protection as being anything other than metaphorical, you suddenly realize that… it might be literal, too.  How much sway do you actually have here, you wonder?  You’re not stupid, you’re not going to try anything stupid, but maybe just another question won’t hurt?
“Well, um… how do you become a member, then?”  You ask him, and you watch as he leans back in the booth, raising both eyebrows at you.
“Excuse me?”  He asks, though there’s a genuine amusement in his voice.  Stunned that you’d even say the words aloud.
“I have four bodies,” you tell him shortly.  You’re still quiet about it, but his thoroughly entertained astonishment is beginning to rub you the wrong way.  You don’t want to be part of the Guild, you don’t want to be here, you’re doing this out of growing necessity.  “One of which I dragged through a blizzard on Hoth by its ankles and put into carbonite myself, so please just tell me what I have to do to get you to take them.”
“I can’t,” he repeats, shaking his head like you’re just not getting it.  “New members are only accepted if they bring in an S-level criminal from the database or if they complete a commission that was granted to them by someone of my station—neither of which apply to you.  If you cannot present me with any sort of reasonable argument for which they could, then I’m afraid this is not a favor I can swing.”
“I was sitting right here,” you return, suddenly finding your voice.  If Karga wants an argument from you to get this to happen, then you’ll do it.  You just need to finish this exchange, go back to the Crest, and scan around for Din’s signal.  “When you first gave the pucks to Mando, I sat right here and you pushed them over to this side of the table—I was present for the commission and now I’m here to complete it.”
He shakes his head.  “But I didn’t give them to you, I gave them to Mando—”
“Yes, but you only wanted to give him three,” you immediately point out.  “The last one, the one I told you I put into carbonite—you said you threw it in because you liked me, it could’ve been for me.”
Karga suddenly stops and blinks at you for a few seconds, and you bite your lip, wondering if the logic will hold.  It’s flimsy as fuck and you know he could very easily rip it apart if he wanted to.  It could’ve been for you but it wasn’t, he gave it to Mando.  You also purposefully leave out the fact that you’re also the reason Mando only gave him three bodies in the first place; your only goal here is to complete this transaction as quickly as possible and leave.  You don’t like the fact that it’s taking Din so long, and you also don’t like the fact that Karga seems so keen on keeping you here with him, no matter how many reassurances he provides.  He said he wants to help you?  This can be his chance to prove it.
After a few extended moments of consideration, Karga finally shrugs like he really couldn’t care less before reaching across the table for the pucks and beginning to stack them in his palm.
“What is your last name?”  He asks, turning behind him to gesture for one of his men with a jerk of his head.  The bodyguard exits the cantina without another word and your eyes flick back to Karga’s.
“Why does it matter?”  You ask uncertainly, watching another guard approach with a holopad as he shrugs once more.
“It doesn’t, but we need something for our records,” Karga explains, grabbing the device as it’s tapped against his shoulder without removing his gaze from yours.  “I can just use Doe if you don’t feel like sharing—most of our members tend to prefer anonymity, including your companion.”
Your eyebrows furrow even as your heart continues to pound, wondering how they can afford to be so lax about some things but take others so seriously.  “You have him down as John Doe?”
“First name Man,” Karga grunts in response, finally breaking eye contact to begin navigating through pages on the holopad.
“Ah,” you say shortly, knowing you’d probably find the joke funny in other circumstances.  You’re not out of the trenches yet, you still feel the worry tugging hard at your chest.
“Very well,” Karga announces with a sigh, pocketing the pucks in his leather overcoat and then handing the holopad back to one of the men flanking him after a moment.  “Someone is collecting the carbonite plaques from your vessel as we speak.”
You give him a nod, taking a deep breath that you hope is slow and subtle enough to not give your anxiety away.  He helped you out, you’re halfway through this.  Now comes the exchange.  Now it’s his turn to give you the credits and four more pucks, that’s how this should go.
Only, Karga leans back in his seat and cocks his head at you.  “Unfortunately, I believe we have found ourselves in the midst of yet another predicament.”
Your heart continues to slam, praying you haven’t somehow majorly fucked things up by getting this far.  Din still isn’t here, why is he so fucking late?  He nearly froze to death and you handled a dead body just to make this meeting on time, where the fuck is he?
You raise an eyebrow at him, willing the building panic not to show on your face.  “Have we?”
“You’re lucky credits are attached to commissions instead of rank within the Guild,” he prefaces, pulling out a large handful of them to begin counting, and your eyes flick around the cantina while you know he isn’t looking, “or else you’d be getting about half of what I’d normally give him.”
Heart galloping when you still don’t see any sign of him, you just decide to keep extra quiet as you watch Karga divvy out a sizable stack of credits, hoping your prolonged silence will protect you somehow.
“The question now becomes…” he lifts an eyebrow at you while sliding them across the table to you, “how many pucks do I give you in return, hm?”
Fuck, you don’t like this, you’re trying to make it crystal fucking clear that your intentions do not extend beyond the perimeter of this table.  There’s no you to be found in this deal, you’re just an emergency proxy in Din’s absence and you only inserted yourself in the situation to accomplish that task.  “I told you I’m only here to exchange on Mando’s behalf, that’s it.”
“Be that as it may…”  Karga glances around the cantina like he’s thinking extra hard about it.  This is a made-up problem, you both know there’s no predicament here.  He knows you didn’t kill Mando, he knows there’s no real reason to be giving you such a hard time about this, and you clench your jaw as he still seems to take his time considering it.  “Tell you what, young lady,” he finally turns back to you.  “Do me the honor of sharing one sip of this fine spotchka with me and I’ll give you four pucks to pass along to Mando.”
Okay.  Okay, you can do that, if he really cares that much.  Karga gestures for the closest droid to come by with a glass for you, but you just grab the bottle in front of him and uncork it without thinking too much, balancing the glowing blue liquid with two hands and diligently taking a small sip of it before setting it down again.  Appearing satisfied with your demonstration of upholding your end of the bargain, Karga grins and reaches into another pocket.
“Four for Mando,” he pushes four pucks across the table, “same rate and return as last time, as promised.”  You nearly deflate in relief as you quickly gather them up and begin dropping them into the snoozing baby’s shield along with the credits, but then Karga reaches back and pulls out another puck, pushing it over to you.  “And one for you.”
You blink at him, frozen in place.
“Lowest level, lowest pay.  Not even a criminal by New Republic standards, just a missing person,” he goes on to say, but then quite suddenly… 
Quite suddenly you’re absolutely fucking horrified.
You don’t want it.  Everything inside you surges up to scream that you do not want that puck.  It’s a waste of time, even if it’s an extra job—it’s too much trouble, too much fuel for such a small reward.  You already know good and well that Din won’t want to bother, getting this extra puck would be considered a detriment to him.
“What if I don’t want it?”  You ask, sounding nervous and vaguely out of breath as you look down at it.
Karga scoffs.  “Of course you don’t.  Nobody wants these, why do you think I’m trying so hard to pawn one off on you?”
Shit.  This is not at all how you expected any of this would go.  You know he’s not really asking, even if his tone and continued courtesy implies it’s only a request.  There’s an expectation attached to this, and it appears you take too long pondering an offer that isn’t actually voluntary.  Karga stares at you and your clear apprehension for just a few seconds more, before finally giving you an ultimatum.  “You said you’re here on his behalf.  You either take all five pucks now or Mando only gets three next time, your choice.”
Oh.  Oh, no.  This is a lose-lose; three pucks means more fuel and less credits, five pucks means more fuel and less credits.  It’s not like you have any real bargaining power here—almost everything he’s done for you today has been a favor of some sort and you’re well aware that things can always get worse.
Still, you take a deep breath and try your best to throw around whatever weight you have left in one final agreement.
“Give me your word you’ll go back to giving him four from now on, no more hassling or hard time constraints and we’ll take it just this once,” you tell him, trying to conjure and put power behind your words even though you’re unsure if they’ll stick.
“Deal,” Karga readily agrees with a smile, reaching his hand across the table.  You have no choice but to meet him in the middle and clasp it, unable to feel anywhere close to good about your performance here.  It was clunky and insecure and even though you just barely succeeded in making the exchange overall, you’re massively disappointed in the specifics.
But then Karga’s eyes quickly flick over your shoulder.
“Ah, Mando!”  He suddenly calls out, and your hand nearly snatches away from his while your body goes rigid.
Oh, this isn’t good, this is not good.  Well, it’s good that he’s here but it also really fucking isn’t.  You don’t even turn your head; you sit completely straight and still while the cantina falls to a hush and heavy footsteps begin to approach behind you.  You fucked up—you fucked up, you didn’t wait long enough and you feel the sharp regret instantly twist in your stomach.  He said he’d be here, why didn’t you trust him?  Your anxiety and stress compounded and spurned you to act too quickly, you made the deal a few fucking seconds before he showed up.
And, as Din eventually comes into your peripheral, taking his time leaning his rifle up against the table, you immediately realize that you should not have worried.  Recovery isn’t even a word in his vocabulary right now—he’s more intimidating than he’s ever been, more powerful and certain and dangerous while he lowers himself into the seat next to you than he’s ever felt to you before.  Everything is so quiet now that he’s here; you feel like even just swallowing against the sudden dryness in your throat turns into an audible gulp.  The man sitting across from you may own this cantina and every material good under its roof, but the one sitting by your side feels like he steals the literal air from the room just by walking inside it.
Yet, in spite of the daunting presence of the Mandalorian, Karga beams and tips his glass at him.  “I believe you’ve arrived just in time for your favorite part of the conversation, friend.  The farewells.”
You stare wide-eyed down at the table as Din leans back into the booth and very slowly extends his arm behind your shoulders, saying nothing at all to him.
The testosterone is radiating from him to the point of near suffocation, you can taste the alpha in the air.  Your heart slams in your chest at the unspoken claim he just made with a subtle movement, and though you’ve never been one for masculine displays, this one weirdly feels… good right now.  You know it’s primitive and crude and you’re not a piece of meat to be fought over, but it doesn’t feel like that at all.  It’s the immediate feeling of security that serves to heat your cheeks, the fact that you’ve been a nervous mess trying to be extra brave this whole interaction and then suddenly you have the backup of an entire army contained within one single suit of armor next to you.
If you weren’t internally panicking at how badly you screwed this shit up, you’d probably be going fucking feral for him right now.
Karga says your name and your gaze snaps to his, feeling like you can’t breathe.  “My associate has collected the plaques, nothing keeps you here any longer.  It was a pleasure doing business with you.”
Still, nobody at the table moves.
After a moment, you carefully glance up and to the side at the sharp, metallic profile of his helmet.  Maker, you can’t explain it—it’s like you feel terrified but not really for yourself, if that makes sense.  You’re upset with yourself for not having enough trust in his word, absolutely, but something in Din’s demeanor tells you that he’s going to be considerably less understanding of how Karga handled this situation than the way you did.
The helmet slowly turns down to look at you, and you bite your lip while carefully placing your hand on his thigh brace under the table, letting him feel your fingers brush against the bend of his knee.
He turns back to Karga after a few seconds, still not saying a single word, until eventually Din’s arm is lifted from behind your shoulders and you feel his leather fingers gently clasp your hand, before he starts to rise from the booth and pull you along next to him.  You both stand, and he silently presses a button on his vambrace without dropping your grip, urging the kid’s shield to follow along behind him.
“Um, goodbye,” you just barely remember to tell Karga as Din begins leading you away, apparently not waiting for the polite farewells he arrived in time for.
“Wait!”  A voice calls out just before you can make your exit, and Din pauses just in time for Karga to extend that damned fifth puck out for you to grab.  Right in fucking front of him.  “Can’t forget this!”
Fuck.  Great.  Thanks.
Blood rushes to your face while you go to reach for it, taking the puck and then placing it in the open shield along with four others in a way that you hope is casual but you know isn’t.  You close the lid on it and then squeeze Din’s hand slightly, but he stays rooted to the spot for a few more seconds, having watched the entire exchange play out.  Though you obviously wouldn’t be able to read his facial expressions even if you could lift your head to look up at him, you can’t will yourself to do so right now.  You’re too disappointed in yourself and nervous—you just stand there silently as he looks back at Karga, staring at your feet and praying he doesn’t do anything brash.
After too many moments of uncertainty, you squeeze his hand again and slowly begin to pull on it.  Without needing much pressure at all, he goes where you go, and you end up being the one to lead Din out of the cantina by the hand still tangled with yours.
*** 
The walk back to the Crest lasts an eternity.
Neither one of you say anything at all to each other the entire way there, and you know he’s not mad at you yet, but you’re worried.  You feel incredibly self-critical right now and it’s really not helping that he seems even quieter and more wound up than usual.  You don’t know if it’s because he already figured out that you just handed him extra work or if it’s because whatever made him late to the cantina also altered his mood, hit a reset button and reminded him of the way he used to be, the armor he’s wearing.  Was there a confrontation, you wonder?  Is he okay?  He seems like he’s… extra Mandalorian right now, there’s not really a better way to describe it.
He doesn’t drop your hand, though.  As you pass through the markets and shanty huts lining the streets, Din holds onto you.  Shoulders tense and strides heavy, but his fingers stay tangled in yours.
Regardless, you keep your mouth shut and eventually the Crest comes into view.  The ramp drops to the ground and the three of you make your way up, and you have enough foresight to carefully drop Din’s hand and lead the baby’s shield over to the unused cot built into the hull walls, closing him in a safe quiet place to sleep and continue building up his strength again.
You turn around to see Din press another button on his vambrace.  He stays with his back to you as the ramp slowly closes, but as soon as it latches up against the hull and locks into place, he nearly whips around and suddenly he’s right in front of you, gloves cupping your face.
“What happened?”  He asks sharply, the helmet looking you up and down.  “Are you alright?  Why did you look so scared?”
You reach up to rest your hands on his, blinking up at him and not knowing what to say.  How are you going to tell him?  He’s gotta waste extra fuel and time on a bullshit quarry because of you, what are you going to say?  You don’t even know if it’s last known location is nearby; he might have to fly to some remote, desolate corner of the galaxy just for a handful of credits because you couldn’t wait a fucking hour for him.
“I, uh…  I-I’m sorry, I just…”  But it’s nearly impossible to form a coherent thought when he’s this close to you and sounding fucking sincere, genuinely concerned about you while you’re stuck worrying about how to break the bad news to him.  “Oh, stars, um…”
“Did Karga fuck with you?”  He asks in that same sharp tone when you don’t finish your thought, but you’re so absorbed in your own conflict that you barely even hear him.  “Because I can go back right now, the cantina is just—”
“Okay wait, please—” You suddenly speak up, “before I tell you, just… please keep in mind that I did save your life two days ago, so…”
“Sweet girl,” Din rumbles slowly, a subtle warning for you to hurry up and spit it out.  His fingers tighten just slightly on your cheeks, still so gentle but needing you to communicate with him right now.
Tell him, you just need to tell him.  If he gets mad, then he gets mad, but at least he’ll know at that point and you won’t just be springing it on him out of nowhere.
“I fucked up,” you breathe out, eyebrows pulling up in the middle as you tighten your own grip on his hands.  “I’m so sorry, I fucked up and you were late and I got nervous and I didn’t wait long enough and I tried to make the exchange like you asked me to but then I had to take a fifth puck and I didn’t want to but Karga threatened to short change you next time around unless I agreed to take an extra one for the lowest pay just this once and I didn’t have any bargaining power and you showed up right after I agreed to the deal and I’m so so sorry—”
You cut yourself off with your own ragged gasp, not having paused once to breathe throughout the entire thing while your expression twisted up with regret more and more the longer he allowed you to speak.
Din stands there in front of you and doesn’t move, hands still attached to your face.
“Okay,” he eventually tells you.  Stunted words, like he’s trying extra hard to find them when yours just fell out of your mouth in a complete mess.  “It’s okay.  You did… good.”
The silence is tense and you’re becoming more and more anxious the longer he takes to speak.  He’s lying for your benefit, he must be.  When he drops his hands from your face and takes a full step back, you take the gesture as symbolic and nearly launch into panic.
“Maker, I’m so sorry I didn’t wait for—”  You start to say, but Din cuts you off.
“Did he make you…”  His back suddenly goes a little straighter, voice finding a quiet edge through the modulator as his fingers subtly twitch at his sides, “…Uncomfortable?”
You pull back at the sudden change in subject and furrow your eyebrows.
“Who, Karga?”  You have to think about it.  Did he make you uncomfortable, or were you just uncomfortable already?  You might’ve just been scared because you were making it scarier than it really was, you can admit that’s a valid possibility.  “Um… no?  I don’t know, not… not really, I don’t think.”
“No?”  He asks, taking a small step forward.  “You don’t know?  Or not really… you don’t think?”
You know you can only see the blade of his visor, but something makes you feel like you’re looking right in his eyes.  You even go back and forth between where you’re pretty confident each one is, trying to read his intentions right now.  It’s like he’s purposefully trying to keep space between you even though he looks like he wants to move closer, fisting his hands at his sides when he looks like he wants to touch you.
“No, he just… lowballed me towards the end of it and I got intimidated, but I’m also not…”  Your expression narrows in concentration while you try to find the words to explain yourself, wanting to be as honest as possible with him.  “I don’t know, I’m not like you.  I’m not that strong, but I’m trying to get better.  I think he was probably just being normal.  He did offer me alcohol a bunch, but I’m pretty sure he also did that last time, so—”
“And I didn’t like it the last time he did it,” Din says quietly, taking another small step forward.
You blink up at him, completely dumb.  This is what’s bothering him?  Is he really not upset with you at all for giving him more work?  It’s like the major fuckup on your behalf just went in one side of the helmet and out the other, he barely even acknowledged it other than the role Karga played.  He said it’s okay and you did good, which are like… five of the most common words in Galactic Basic, a Wookiee could probably find a way to say them.  How are you supposed to take that?  Were you just overthinking this whole thing from the very beginning?  You know anxiety tends to be irrational by definition, but has none of your panic from the past hour been justified whatsoever?
“Why were you so late?”  You ask him, but it’s not accusatory in the slightest.  It’s… concerned, worried about his well-being without having a real reason.  He’s clearly more than fine right now, he’s like a hurricane enclosed in metal and holding still in front of you.  Too much potential energy just waiting for a reason to be released, too much tension held tight and ready to snap.
“I’m sorry.”  He quickly reaches out to grab your hand and squeeze it, before dropping it just as quickly.  Fucking lightning quick, you’ll never understand how he can be so damn quick with all that extra weight strapped to him.  “It took longer than I thought it would and she’s not really someone you can rush.”  His response, ironically, feels very rushed, like he’s trying to address the tangent but also keep things on track, but something in the answer he gives catches your direct attention.  “Did he flirt with you?”
“Who is she and what can’t be rushed?”  You blurt at the same time, not even taking a split second to think about it.
Din stops short at the blunt question, staring at you in a silence that feels like it’s vaguely taken aback.
After a few moments of that… strangeness, of the two of you realizing that you’re both feeling slightly possessive over each other for absolutely no reason whatsoever, you start to feel… warm.  In another weirdly stupid, primitive way.  You know that letting those kinds of thoughts have their day in a relationship isn’t a good thing, but you can’t explain it.  Some deep-seated, prehistoric instinct inside you just goes fucking nuts whenever he gets in either provider or protector mode.  Now you understand exactly why he wanted to get you alone after you admitted to being jealous once before.  You totally fucking get it, you’re right there with him right now.  He hasn’t said anything, but you think he feels it, too.
“She makes things,” Din finally answers you, careful with his words and somehow managing to address your question while also sidestepping it, leaving you with only the smallest bit of information to go off of.  “Did he flirt with you?”
“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly.  “Maybe.  He could’ve just been trying to be friendly.  What did she make for you?”
“She made it for you,” he responds, again not really answering the question but continuing to juggle two separate conversations for your benefit.  “Did he scare you?”
“For me?”  You ask, eyebrows shooting upwards.  Provider, that stupid cavewoman DNA whispers to your lower body, making your voice go a little breathless.  “You asked her to make something for me?”
“Did he scare you?”  Din repeats sternly, grabbing your hand and giving it a firm squeeze.  “Because I can go back, I swear—”
Protector, it whispers this time, and your knees nearly buckle.
“Everything is scary when I don’t know where you are,” you admit to him, knowing it’s the truth regardless of how self-deprecating it sounds.  The only times you’ve ever truly been brave was because of him or the kid.  Stabbing a Corellian and then immediately flying the Crest out to him afterwards, walking through a pitch black forest believing a dangerous criminal was hiding in it, dragging a dead body through snow and shoving it into carbonite, standing up for yourself and pushing a deal through when odds were stacked against you.  Though it’s nothing to him, it’s nothing, it’s leaps for you.  You’re slowly learning to find a backbone, and he’s the one inspiring it.
Din holds there for a moment, unmoving with his hand still clutching yours.  You can’t get a read on him but you know how you feel right now.  Achy.  Hot.  Needy.  Wanting him to come closer.
“Will you do something for me?”  He asks you after a prolonged silence.  His voice is quiet, but… incredibly restrained.  Controlled chaos—his body is rigid and he’s flexing muscles that aren’t necessary for just standing, feeling like a sprinter holding still on the starting blocks.
“Of course,” you breathe out.
Din lets go of your hand and tilts his helmet over at the corner of the hull behind you.  “Go turn around and face that wall.”
You freeze, immediately recognizing the undertone in his voice.  Heat ladles deep into the pit of your tummy, sends warmth pooling downwards.  He wants to do this here?  Right now?
“We’re—” you look around the enclosed hull, “Mando, we’re not in hyperspace, we haven’t even left the surface yet…”
He looks around too, taking a second to blankly take in his stagnant surroundings like he had absolutely fucking no idea, before turning back to you and not saying a word.  Maker, everything below your waist is already stirring, twisting hot and deep inside, but you’re trying to be the voice of reason for a second.
“What if somebody hears us?”  You whisper, and Din cocks his head to the other side.
“I can help you stay quiet,” he murmurs, and… fuck.  You don’t know what it means, but you immediately imagine his hand held tight over your mouth while he takes some of this stress out on you and you already feel yourself wilting at the thought.  Okay.
“Okay,” you breathe without needing anything else at all, before spinning around and standing exactly where he told you to.  It’s just a corner near the back of the hull, nothing else here to look at besides two metal panels meeting at a right angle, but that’s admittedly what makes your heart start beating quicker.  You can’t see him come up behind you but you can feel it.  Slow, measured, but so restrained.
But then he stops almost immediately, before the back of your shirt is suddenly being yanked upwards and you remember at the very last second.
Din carefully grips his blaster and then eases it out of your waistband, the metal sliding warm along your skin from pressing against it for so long.  You never told him you took it with you, and he’s so fucking quiet behind you.  You have no idea how he’s reacting to that piece of information you originally didn’t think twice about.
“Do you like carrying my gun around?”  Din’s voice murmurs soft through the modulator to you, but then the blaster is tossed uselessly to the side, skittering loudly across the floor of the hull.
“Yes,” you reply, beginning to shyly turn your head back to look at him, hoping to gauge his response.
“Don’t turn around,” he quickly interrupts you, pushing your shoulder back into position and keeping you facing the corner.  You blink at the metal walls in a bit of a daze but follow instructions regardless, feeling your heart pound at the sudden display of dominance from him.  He has a very valid reason for it and you don’t realize what it is until a few seconds later, but even if he didn’t and he was just telling you what to do for the fun of it… you’d still like it.
But then his helmet is carefully being lowered over your head and you shudder as your vision is replaced with a familiar black abyss.  Fuck, his helmet, why does he like it so much when you wear this?  Admittedly, you don’t have much time to contemplate—as soon as it’s fitted and secure, he spins you around and you have to just do your best to maintain your balance, not having any visual to help.
“Can you hear me?”  Din asks, and your clothes start to be ripped off of you.  Your shoulders tip sideways with how quick he is about it, feeling him pull the fabric off and hearing the soft sound it makes landing on the floor.
“Yes,” you tell him, but he doesn’t respond, continuing to strip you completely naked in the hull.  Once your upper body is bare and he’s yanking your pants and underwear down your legs, you try saying it again as you step out of them, louder for him this time.
“I can’t hear you,” his voice grunts after a moment.  You know he’s in front of you but you can’t really tell where, now that he’s not touching you.  “Scream.”
You take a second, not having hard evidence anymore but still very well aware that you’re parked close to a marketplace on Nevarro and multiple people are nearby while you’re wearing his helmet.  This is dangerous for him, and not sure if you should, but then an arm is wrapping around your back and a large leather palm rests directly over your chest.  Din repeats his last word very slowly and clearly for you, waiting to feel it under his hands.
Your sternum lifts while it rises with your deep breath and then collapses as you diligently yell as loud as you can into the helmet, feeling like you might deafen yourself with the trapped sound.
“Good,” he growls, suddenly spinning you around and pushing you back into the metal paneling.  “I can’t hear you, be as loud as you need.  Hit me or something, put up a fight if you want me to stop, alright?”
Arousal rockets through you and you let out a moan already, taking advantage of the noise suppression and beyond turned on at this point.  You feel like you’re buzzing with it, lit up with excitement and wondering with bated breath what he’s planning to do to you.
“Alright?”  Comes his voice from behind you once more, and you quickly jerk the heavy helmet in a nod for him.  You can put up a fight and you know he’ll stop, you don’t have any problem with that and the fact that he specifically made sure to wait until he knew you understood him makes you start to pant inside the hollow beskar.
But then you feel him flick a small switch at the base of the helmet and then everything abruptly cuts out and goes dead silent.
Nothing.  Nothing.  You’re standing in a pitch black room where no other sound exists besides your own labored breathing.  Just like the waterfall on Naboo, but you can’t speak this time.  Temporarily making you blind, deaf, and putting a proverbial gag over your mouth all with one powerful piece of armor.
You shudder and he kicks your legs apart before you can do much else, yanking your hips back while you just try your best to cling to the wall for stability.  You don’t know what he’s going to do, you’re completely isolated in here and the only way you can even tell he dropped to his knees is the hot glide of his tongue through your pussy from behind.
Oh fuck—you arch into position as best you can while hands wrap around your ankles to pull them apart, trying to make the angle better.  His tongue licks softly over your clit and each time is like an electric shock jolting through your body, making you twitch back and up for him, stretching and begging him to do it again.  You can’t see anything right now so your mind readily imagines the visuals instead, providing you with a third party view.  Din, fully clothed and face shielded by your thighs, eating you out from behind while you brace yourself against the wall, completely naked and at his mercy, head tilted down from the weight of his helmet and living for the moments he decides to drag his tongue across your clit.
Without warning, a sudden burst of sensation ripples along your backside and causes you to lift the beskar in surprise, but without being able to hear anything, it takes you a second to figure out that he just smacked your ass.  The realization comes more or less at the exact time he decides to flatten his tongue and follow the curve of you back and up.
You gasp into the pitch black and there’s a moment where you just hold utterly still for him, experiencing and processing the sensation for the very first time.  His mouth is soft and warm as he tastes you here, his fingers digging into the swell of your cheeks to spread you open.  You’re glad your face is hidden so he can’t see the shock in your expression, the way your mouth drops and your eyes close as you let him explore you this way.
His gloved hands leave you for just a moment while he continues gliding his tongue against you, along every single bit of skin he can reach, and then you feel a bare hand reach up between your legs and begin to rub slow circles around your clit.  His other arm pushes against your lower back and you’re forced into the corner even more, your naked breasts pressing hard against cool metal and feeling his hot mouth and strong fingers work you closer to the edge from behind.
You’re panting into the helmet, your hips arching back to feel that stimulation on your clit better, and as his fingers move over it slow and strong, you feel a soft vibration against your skin and you realize he’s moaning into you.  The knowledge sparks a different kind of heat through you and makes you suddenly go still and tense right here.  If he stays just like this for even just a few more seconds, you’re going to cum.
“Din, I’m gonna cum,” your voice warbles inside the enclosed steel—just as his touch decides to abandon your body.  You groan loudly in distress, completely alone without his hands or mouth on you anymore, but all he likely hears is the silence of the hull and the way your palm smacks against the wall with it.  You were so close, everything feels like it’s pulled up so tight and painful and it hurts—
A hand clutches your hip and then a thick cock is suddenly pushing up against your soaking wet entrance, going to alleviate that twisting discomfort.  Your eyes roll back and your whole body goes limp as he slowly eases forward and breaks you open, fitting himself deep inside where you love to feel him most.  Your hands claw down the walls with a swell of bliss as he pulls out and then starts thrusting—and fuck, you love this.  You love the way he’s trapping you up against the corner and making you see stars at the same time, the way he’s supporting your weight but crushing down into you, too.  It makes you go boneless and want to riot simultaneously, groaning loud into the quiet abyss as he gives you what you both desperately needed.
One of his hands sinks down between your legs to play with your clit again, while a slick finger presses up against your ass and you gasp as he slowly penetrates you there, too.  Din’s hips work steady and powerful behind you, pushing you into the wall with every desperate thrust, using the arm shoved between your legs to support you as well as stimulate, and you just feel yourself move into a different place.  You don’t have a name for it but it feels like hyperspace.  Silence so loud it feels suppressing, faster than anything light can touch, nowhere and everywhere, hurtling towards something you can’t see but know lies in the distance.  You can tell he’s still fucking the tension out of his body, you can feel him working another wet finger inside you and stretching the virgin muscles back there, but every sensation begins to slowly blur together in a wicked uprising of ecstasy.
You don’t know where you are anymore, just that his fingers keep rubbing your clit and you think he's trying to ease a third into you when your destination abruptly arrives.
You nearly collapse when you cum, contracting so hard around his cock and fingers that you cry out unexpectedly—and because of the helmet, you think it’s just as unexpected for him.  He stops moving—everything stops moving besides you.  Your hips stutter backwards into his stationary body, dragging your clit back and forth against the tips of his unmoving fingers and fucking him as best you can.  It shatters white hot and goes straight through to your soul, wringing pleasure and wetness between your legs in waves.
Your knees are knocking against each other when Din pulls out, his cock still deliciously hard and now soaking wet with your cum, and then they just suddenly decide to give up without warning.  You don’t fall necessarily, but you do slowly slide down the wall like a slug and Din follows you to the floor instead of holding you up any longer.  His sternum moves quick and heavy against your back as he breathes and then suddenly the same switch at the base of his helmet is flicked, and sound bursts into existence all at once.
He’s panting.  Harsh breaths behind you that match the rapid pace of his chest, and the ambient noise of the rest of the hull.
“Can you hear me?”  He gasps, sounding fucking wrecked, and you nod the helmet against the wall while gravity and exhaustion and his beskar chestplate squishes you into it.  “P-Put up a fight if you want me t-to stop, p-please—” he rasps out, almost the entire thing air and so close to cumming, and then his knees lift just slightly and the blunt head of his cock presses against your other entrance.
And, if you wanted, you absolutely could.  He’s got you boxed into the corner but he’s not constricting your movements, he’s given you every ability to struggle.  You could easily throw an elbow back against his side, push against the wall to shove him away, smack at his arms or even just flail against his body in panic—you could do one or all of those things to signal him to stop and you know he’d do it immediately, he’s asking you to.  You could struggle.  If you wanted.
Instead, you just grab hold of the beskar strapped to his thigh and drop the helmet to your chest, nearly vibrating with the thrill and preparing yourself for it.  You know he’s gotta be inches away from orgasm, you know from the tone of his voice that he’s right there on the edge and it’s not like it’s going to last a long time.  Thanks to him, you also feel like you’re just as slick and wet back there as you are between your legs, stretched open by his fingers while you came all over him.  You want nothing more than to give this to him, to let him be the only person in the universe that knows how you feel this way.
When you pointedly do not put up a fight and even go so far as to arch your lower back for him in presentation, Din curses and his fingers begin jerking back and forth over your sensitive clit once more.  It might normally be too much for you, but your body is sparking with lust and quickly acclimates to the stimulation, learning to burn and ache for it, too.  Fuck, it feels so good, you tense and melt into it at the same time, letting him ease you back up to that peak once more.
He pushes up against the tight ring of skin and you can’t fucking explain it—his fingers keep rubbing your clit and he’s slowly pushing into your ass and—
“I—I think I’m—” you suddenly lift the helmet to gasp out in surprise, forgetting he can’t hear you, “ngh—D-Din, I think I’m gonna c—”
He’s just barely able to breach the tight entrance and fit the head inside before he freezes—and even though everything happens consecutively, it’s all so rapid that it feels simultaneous.
Your hips could go forward, but they don’t.  Your body decides to send you backwards into him, pushing him inside nearly halfway all at once as your muscles lock down and just fucking strangle his cock.  Your piercing scream gets trapped in the silence of his helmet as you cum once more—painfully, madly and with every fucking part of you for him.  There’s maybe one or two mind shattering pulses of ecstasy before the rest of your body catches up and starts convulsing, and by then Din is already gasping and fumbling behind you, suddenly realizing what’s happening without hearing the sound of your ragged warnings and then ripping himself away just in time.
He punches out your name when he cums like you just fucking snapped him in half—his body hunches and the beskar digs hard into your back as warmth starts splattering along your skin.  You crumple while he shoves his hips up against your spine, riding and working the orgasm out of himself while yours just fucking obliterates you.  You think you whine his name—or a curse word or something, but it gets strained and your lungs lose air every time his powerful armored body humps you into the wall of his ship.
Finally he eases up and you just lay there and listen to the ringing in your ears.  Blissfully empty, still pulsing from cumming so hard and feeling like your bones just decided to stop existing and the rest of you was okay with it since you were already on the floor anyways.  You feel him shudder and twitch behind you, letting go of that last bit of tension until he too allows gravity to slouch his heavy torso over onto you.
You both stay like that for a while, until your eyes close and your everything below your waist goes numb.  Eventually you feel him shift and your head bobbles as the helmet is slowly removed, but a large palm cradles your chin to stop your face from slamming into the wall in exhaustion once it’s off.  You just continue to melt into the paneling like you’re nothing more than goo of a human being while he trades it back to its rightful place on his shoulders and tucks his cock back into his pants, before wrapping his arms around you and lifting you both up.  The floor and metal walls, once feeling like you and them were one, suddenly decide to disappear entirely as you’re hauled up into Din’s powerful arms.
He slowly carries your naked, fucked senseless body over to the fresher, and you squint your eyes open over his shoulder to see… he’s still got his rifle slung around his back while his cum is dripping down yours.  Not a single thing on him is out of place and you’re, well… a mess is a word that works.  Limp and doll-like, carried like your weight is practically nothing to him after years of having the densest armor known to the galaxy strapped to his body.
Setting you down is a mess, too.  At some point you think he just gives up and decides to return you to your humble floor abode with a patience and care unexpected from someone who just defiled you so thoroughly.  You hear the fresher door open and the faucet squeak, before he turns back around and crouches to your level.
“Stay here,” Din tells you lowly, his modulated voice coming gentle and warm through the sounds of water raining down against metal.  You don’t feel his touch directly, but your hair moves away from your face.  “I’ll be right back, okay—just stay here.”
Can do.  Easy.  He waits until you murmur a soft mhm to him before he leaves the tiny compartment, and then you soon hear his heavy footsteps ascending the ladder to the cockpit.
***
You don’t think you fall asleep, but the powering up of the Crest’s thrusters make you realize your eyes were closed.  Opening them barely qualifies as a squint though; you look around to see steam slowly filling the fresher, the water already running hot and welcoming in the small room.
You know you need to shower but you’re so fucking exhausted, you feel like you can’t even move your body.  You also know you can just do the same exact thing in there as you’re doing in here, you just need to muster up the energy necessary to get inside it and then fall back asleep.  He set you down in the small little space outside the shower door and then got everything set up for you, you can at least stand up and take a few steps.
Unfortunately, you might pick just about the worst time possible to plant your hands on the ground and work to struggle upright on all fours like a newborn animal.  The steady rise through Nevarro’s atmosphere pushes gravity down harder than you’re expecting—is he trying to fly quickly or are you just that dead-limbed?—and then of course, by the time you do manage to fight it and successfully get on two wobbly legs to hold yourself up, the subtle shift of the hyperdrive kicking in nearly knocks you back down again.  You stumble and grab the walls, bracing yourself against them and looking down at your knees in exasperation.  Come on, work.  Move forward.  Come on.
You’re glad he’s not here to witness this monstrosity, honestly.  Just opening the door and taking a few steps into the fresher is a feat—while you’re not in any pain and he didn’t leave any marks on you, you just feel… steamrolled.  Ran over by a truck.  Only having the strength to keep your feet beneath you as you finally move under the water and close the door behind you.
Oh, but this is wonderful.  This was such a good idea, he’s so fucking smart.  The shower falls warm and lovely against your body, wetting your hair and immediately heating you down to your bones.  You don’t move really at all—you kinda just stand there and slouch, closing your eyes against the spray and slowly breathing the mist into your lungs.  It feels so nice—not really restorative even though you like that word, it would imply the water provides you with any energy whatsoever.  It just feels like a comfort, a relief and sedative for your already wildly fatigued body.
You haven’t been in here for more than a minute or two when knuckles tap gently against the metal walls of the fresher, before the natural bass of Din’s unmodulated voice murmurs from somewhere beyond it.  “Hey.  Keep your eyes closed.”
How did he know?  You figured you’d be way ahead of him.  You’re standing but slumped over, wanting nothing more than to just say fuck gravity and pass out right here.  The walls are too cold to lean against now that you’re all toasty from the heat and steam, so you’re just unconsciously swaying on your feet, trying to balance the precedence of sleeping versus not falling over.  You don’t even comprehend the sudden flip of the light switch overhead beyond the fact that it makes it easier to snooze without being so bright behind your eyelids.
The door eventually opens at the very same time you realize you never answered him, but you just commit to the silence at this point.  It’s easy, you like it.  Soon you feel warm hands touch your shoulders, slowly spinning you around while you follow and hang your head, your neck not wanting to support it any longer, and then suddenly a bare chest is pressing up against you and powerful arms are wrapping around your body, and you can just lean all of your weight into him while your head rests right here on his shoulder.
He holds you without moving for a long time, keeping you just like this—your ear pressed against his skin while water rains hot and comfortable down your back.  Knowing you’re facing one of the walls, you crack your heavy lids just the slightest bit and finally notice the tiny compartment is dim and shrouded—the only light source is a single one coming from somewhere in the hull beyond the partially closed doorway.  It’s dark and quiet and you can barely see anything besides the metallic fresher walls and unfocused droplets chasing each other down Din’s naked skin.  Just you and him, flowing water with a sheet metal backdrop.
You think you spend an eternity like that and yet you still find yourself wanting another when he finally shifts, reaching over you to grab a bar of his generic soap but making sure to use the arm whose shoulder you’re not currently resting against.
It glides slow and hypnotic down your back, dragging up over your sides and then back down the curve of your spine.  He’s so sturdy and he doesn’t say a word while he does it, lathering it along your body and rubbing it into your skin.  His bar of soap, not yours.  They started out almost the same since you picked them up at the same vendor, but there’s just a slightly bolder and sharper scent to his that you recognize.  How the bar is far larger than yours because of how often he’s gone away.
Your eyes droop and you feel the water trail over your lips, dripping down your chin and pooling the dip of his collarbone.  The only other time you two shared this fresher was terrifying and he’s rewriting the memories right now, whether consciously or not.  Hot water, not freezing cold.  Standing upright and supporting you.  Heart beating strong under your ear, taking care of you this time until you can care for yourself.
You… you just worry so much more now, it’s becoming an issue.  You didn’t realize how much until you nearly lost him, and you know in your heart that he’s just going to go away again.  Throw himself into more danger, tempt death as always, risk his life for mere credits while all you can provide in return is this.  Skin to skin contact.  Someone to hold.  Someone who knows him, who knows the way he struggles between reaching out for a softness that life has always denied him and clinging to what is rough and familiar.  Someone to remind him that there’s still gentle and forgiving things in this galaxy that won’t disappear when he’s gone, and that he can always come home to them, as long as he can manage to find his way back.
Something sad tugs hard at your chest.  You want to tell him not to leave.  Again, again—you want nothing more than to beg him to stay.  You don’t have anything better to offer instead; if he asked you how it would work, how you imagine your lives would go if he wasn’t hunting quarry on a constant timetable, you’d be hard-pressed.  You don’t know.  But you know what you want to say, because it’s two words you shouldn’t say but always find yourself needing to say regardless.  
Don’t go.
But, instead of two words, you give him three.
Instead of asking him not to leave you again… in the haze and comfort of his arms, you think you just tell him that you love him.
And… you also don’t think the water falling down on the two of you is loud enough to cover it up this time.
It’s not ideal, you know.  You know.  From his point of view, he just got finished releasing all sorts of pent up tension on you, overwhelming your body with the strength and power of his in a way that normal people wouldn’t take as an expression of affection.  But you know him.  You know that he finds it much easier to express the things he feels in a physical way, which is why there’s a bar of soap against your back right now instead of his voice in your ear, telling you all the things you’ve always wanted to hear from him in return.  You know that sex is how this all began and it’s likely just the closest link between roughness and sweetness that he can really put his hands on, something that can fit him equally as well as it fits you.  Love is different, it’s thrilling and scary.  Even to someone like him, who lives everyday of his life surrounded by thrilling and scary things, who’s seen more bloodshed and suffering and pain than you can ever even imagine, you know that it’s scary.
Din doesn’t say anything back to your confession, and truthfully, not a single part of you was expecting him to.  It wasn’t said so he could say it back.  It just is.  Some things don’t need explanations, they just are.  You’re okay with that.
But, you eventually come to realize that he always waits until you’re just on the very edges of sleep, holding out until your blurry vision and fading consciousness can trick you into thinking you only imagined it.  You won’t ever figure out if it’s purposeful or if he just needs that long to find what he wants to say.
Another soft, lilting sentence in a language you wouldn’t be able to translate, even if you could pick out a single word.  It sounds so beautiful though, regardless of how mysterious and far away its meaning feels.  There’s something hidden underneath.  You ache to know what it is.
But you’re so tired.  You just whine softly against his shoulder, not being able to transform the thoughts into sentences anymore but hoping he understands regardless.  He can’t just resort to bearing his soul in Mando’a all the time now, especially when you’re always on the verge of sleep when he chooses to do so.
But at some point, his arms subtly tighten around you and the pressure is one of the only things that’s keeping you awake anymore.
“I won’t ever ask you to,” he says to you, the quietness of his baritone getting lost in the gentle spray and your looming slumber.  “I’m…  not allowed to ask.  I can’t.”
Your expression twitches just the slightest bit against his shoulder in confusion, wondering distantly what word or sentence you must’ve missed from before that would make him make sense.  Was that a translation?  Or a continuation?
But then your wet hair is slowly moved away from your nape and his head tilts down, face pressing into your neck and voice lowering until it’s nothing more than a breath against your skin, nothing more than a confession that he couldn’t ever say out loud with his full chest.  It’s a secret he only ever wants you to know, a truth he’s choosing to admit to even though you could ruin him with it.  You have no idea how much, you won’t know for a long time just how much power he’s giving you by telling you this one very simple thing.
“But whenever you want to look,” Din finally whispers, the only version of I love you too that a Mandalorian knows.  “You can.”
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kimnjss · 4 years ago
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unconscious confession | jhs
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⤑  series: heartbreaker
⤑ pairing: stoner!hoseok x cheerleader!reader
⤑ genre: fluff !! 
⤑ rating: pg13
⤑ word count: 3.4 // unedited
⤑ warnings: use of recreational drugs..!!
⤑ A/N: hiiii! thanks to everyone who has been reading along so far and giving me feedback with each and every update !! i really appreciate it honestly it’s a really big motivator for me. sooo i hope you like this part as well, don’t forget to let me know what you think . and also it’s this hoseok walking around lmao .
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OCTOBER 3RD, 2020 | 19:26
Hoseok showed up to the game while the players were still practicing and you and the rest of the squad were in the middle of stretches. He looks effortlessly handsome from the quick glimpse you get before he's slumping down onto the metal. Focus on tucking each crumble of weed into the paper, but he'd occasionally steal glances at you on the field.
And your eyes meet each and every time. He played into the casual feel he wanted to set for tonight, an oversized pale yellow shirt underneath his light denim jacket. The pants he wears matches the jean of his jacket but are covered in rips, hair being held back by a headband. You've never noticed it before, but staring at him from the field when you really should be stretching had you realizing how well he carried himself. All of the time.
Thankfully, you're able to keep focus while you're actually cheering. Ignoring the fuzzy feeling that rises in your chest at the sight of him cheering for you (it's not for the players on the field who are losing, badly). He even waves cutely at you as you're being thrown in the air and you consider ruining your form to wave back. But decide against it, Jimin would throw a fit.
His attention is on you from kickoff through overtime, taking the steps two at a time as the players line up to congratulate the winning team. “Ooh. Here comes your biggest fan,” Jimin points out from beside you, slightly breathless from the back-to-back routines.
You're gulping down mouthfuls of water, so you actually don't see when Hoseok makes his way over to you. Not until Jimin's words are registering and your head is whipping around to catch the wide smile on his pretty face. He doesn't hesitate to drop his arm over your shoulders, easily tucking your body into his side.
Instantly, you're engulfed in the familiar scent of him. The subtle stench of weed masked by his sweet cologne. You've never been around a guy who smelt as sweet as Hoseok always did, used to the overpowering stink of AXE body spray, but you're convinced he's never purchased a bottle. 
He's offering a quick nod of acknowledgment to Jimin, which is met with a halfhearted wave as he leans down to tie his laces. “You were pretty cool cheering,” He tries to be nonchalant with his compliment, eyes focused on the sky as he talks. Which is pointless, you already caught the way he had been cheering from the crowd.
“'Pretty cool', that's it?” There's a playful smirk on your lips that he finds way more inciting than he should. But, he's determined to keep his cool in front of you so all he does is lift his shoulders in a slight shrug. “Yeah, pretty cool.” He repeats in the same tone as before.
You don't even bother to mask the snicker that sneaks past your lips. “I put my leg behind my head it was just 'pretty cool'? Maybe you need an up-close demonstration?” It's the one that you use that catches him off guard, highlighting the meaning behind your suggestion.
He stumbles slightly, eyes widening slightly. That was obviously something he's thought about before... respectfully. This wasn't the first time he's seen what your body could do and it never failed to get his mind wandering. Of course, he's thought if he had the chance to sleep with you, would you pull out the same tricks you do on the field. Who wouldn't wonder that with someone they were pursuing? 
But, the fact that you were mentioning it. Hinting at it like you were planning for exactly that to happen, that was a whole different ballpark. And it's obvious from the slightly dazed look in his eye, that you can't help but laugh at. Pulling him from his thoughts with the sound of your laugh.
“You're funny,” You say through your laughter, which he's quickly catching on to – soft chuckles leaving his lips.
He leads you all the way to the locker rooms, where he waits outside for you to change out of your uniform and into the sweater and jeans you had picked out for your date. Compliment at the edge of his tongue the moment you're stepping out, arm dropping back down around your shoulder.
While the two of you walk to his car, he fills you in on the hilarious thing Jeongguk did that morning. And you laugh along with him. Like an actual laugh, not one of those forced ones to boost his ego. He's animated as he speaks, gesturing wide and goofy voices tagged as his friend's voices.
You're a few steps from his car when he's rushing ahead of you, pulling the car door open before dramatically gesturing to it. “M'lady,” He says as you pass him and you know he's just kidding, but your heart skips a beat.
There's got to be something wrong with you, you're sure of it. You've been on tons of dates in the past and here you were all warm and fuzzy inside and the date has barely started. It was comforting being around Hoseok, though. As if you've always known him, you hardly had to do any thinking when you texted and it was no different in person.
You can't help but wonder if it felt like that for him too. A connection like that can't just go unnoticed, right? Or maybe you were getting ahead of yourself. “Will you tell me now where we're going?” You're asking as he's settling into the space beside you, tugging his seatbelt around his waist.
“I won't tell you until we're there.” You had spent the entire night before trying to guess where he was taking you, which was no use. The shrug emoji was a favorite of his you were quickly realizing. “It's really cool, though. You're gonna like it,” He says with a grin.
If that was supposed to ease your curious mind, it does the exact opposite. A place he was sure you were going to like? How would he know? Talked for seven days straight, but that's only one week. Do you really know what someone likes after one week?
Hoseok's quiet the entire car ride, a small smile playing on his lips as he drives. You're too busy striking out possible date locations to make any conversation, so the soft sound of his music is the only noise that fills the car. He's humming along to the beat, fingers tapping against the steering wheel, hair being swept by the wind. He's something out of a movie, it's hard to really focus on anything else.
Ten whole minutes pass of you shamelessly admiring his profile before he's shoving the car into park. “We're here,” Arms stretched out in front of him and your eyes squint, figuring you're missing something. “Where's here?” You're asking when you can't find the answer for yourself.
Hoseok lets out a small laugh, hand reaching to unbuckle his seatbelt. “You gotta get out to see it,” He's at your door seconds later, pulling it open and offering his hand out to you. Which you take, allowing him to pull you from the warmth and into the night wind. With his fingers laced with yours, he leads you away from the car.
You were standing on a cliff and the closer you get to the edge, the prettier it gets. Lights from the city below twinkling, but it looks so quiet. “You can see everything up here,” His fingers are still laced with yours, forgotten between you. “Right. I like to come here sometimes and just look,” Even with the endless conversation the two of you shared throughout the week, there were still quite a few things you didn't know about him.
Like the fact that he had a spot or the reason, he felt like he needed one in the first place. “How come you wanted to have our date here?” Aren't spots supposed to be private? Wouldn't showing you where he goes to 'just look', take away from that?
All at once, he's becoming all too aware with the warmth of your hand in his. The small tingle he feels throughout his palm that he had done a good job at ignoring up until now. It's the reason he's wiggling his fingers from your grasp and shoving his hand into the front pocket of his jeans.
He's plopping down on the rock with a thud, shoulders shrugging. “I don't know. Sometimes when we talk, I feel like bringing you here. So I did.” He's trying to be cool and you're not too sure why. There's a code in his words that isn't at all hard to read. He wanted to bring you here, let you in on a piece of him and no matter how nonchalant he tried to act about it, that's what it was.
So you're lowering yourself to sit beside him. From his pocket, he's pulling out a pre-rolled blunt and tucking it between his lips. He's quick with lighting it, taking his time with inhaling. “I don't really go on dates like that, you know. I mean, I do... but I don't. When I take girls out, it's like a gratuity, you know? But, I like talking to you and I wanted to show you something cool too. So I brought you here,”
His free hand rests on the ground behind you, inadvertently pulling your body closer to his. “Do you like it?” There's a bit of hopefulness in his voice that's hard to miss.
You're smiling brightly up at him, nodding your head to rid him of any confusion. “I like it. It's really pretty. Thank you for showing it to me,” Just your smile was enough to have the flutter starting up in his chest, but the way you talked to him? He'd turn into a blubbering fool if he wasn't careful.
He extends his hand, wordlessly offering the smoke out to you. And you're assuming that he just wants you to hold it for a second, so you pluck it from his fingers. And wait. He's snorting out a laugh at the patient look on your face. “You gonna hit it or...?”
“Oh! Uhm... no?” He's quick with pulling it from your fingers at the rejection, no desire to waste anything. “Why not? Are you like a good girl or something?” He teases, words coming through a cloud of smoke.
You're letting out a scoff, eyes rolling at his words. “No. I'm an athlete. My body is my most important instrument. Which includes my lungs,” He's bursting out laughing at the snootiness hidden in your tone. A loud laugh contagious laugh that could probably be heard throughout the entire city.
“Well, excuse me,” He speaks through your dying laughter.
With his arm resting behind you, you're naturally leaning into his side. The calm of the night and having him so close has a warm feeling settling in your chest, so much so that it's hard to contain the smile that has spread onto your features. Sitting in comfortable silence and watching the city below and it doesn't feel weird.
Content with just being around him and that's something you've never felt before. Whether or not he was feeling it too was lost on you, his focus on moving the blunt to and from his lips, a cloud of smoke forming above your heads.
“You see that greenish building?” You're pointing a little ways ahead of you. He has to lean forward and squint to see what you're referring to but nods once he spots it. “That's my middle school,” Punctuating your words with a grin up at him.
His fingers move to flick his scraps into the window, his body moving closer to you now that his focus wasn't split. “What was Middle School Yn like?” His free hand fidgets with the pebbles on the other side of his body, the other resting over your shoulder.
“Middle School Yn?” You repeat with a laugh, head tilting to the side as you're brought back to what you were like in middle school. Nothing like how you've turned out. “She was... different?” You're laughing again, planning on leaving it at that.
But, he's got this expectant look on his face, waiting for you to go on. So you do. “I kept to myself mostly, didn't have many friends. Not nearly as confident as I am now. I read a lot and did my homework. That's it,” He doesn't seem shocked or even surprised by the fact that you weren't always this popular magazine cut-out creation of yourself.
He doesn't even bat an eye, simply nodding at your words. “So you were a little nerdy?” His words don't come out in the rude unconvinced way that you've heard before when showing your past yearbooks. It's more like he's trying to get an image of what you looked like back than despite anything else.
“You could say that,” He's nodding, brushing the dirt from his hands. “Cute. Middle School me would've had the biggest crush on you.” Hoseok speaks as if it's just another fact like his words don't have a flutter shooting through your chest.
And with how sure he was that you two would've hit it off in middle school, you can't help but become curious. “What were you like back then?” You try to picture what a younger version of him would look like. How he'd act. Probably still cool, unbothered by most things that would usually send kids into a rage.
Your imagination doesn't get too far before he's answering. “I was a bit of a hothead... always wanted to fight someone. I was sensitive and emotional, so I argued a lot with whoever. I had a ton of friends, though. But looking, they were probably just afraid of not being my friend.” He laughs so you offer up a small giggle.
Your hand had been mindlessly resting on his thigh before, fingers tracing patterns into the fabric of his jeans as he speaks. “So why do you think you'd have a crush on me?” From the way he described himself, it seemed like you two wouldn't even sit by each other – let alone be close enough that he'd develop a crush.
He's shrugging at your words, an action that you've quickly realized is his favorite. A way to give off nonchalance, but looking close enough it's not hard to detect the light blush that dusts over his cheeks. “You said you were quiet. I think I would've liked being around you. Listening to you talk... like now,” His arm drops from your shoulders to wrap around your waist, using his grip to pull you closer to him.
“Think if I met you then or now, I'd still be into the way you smile... or the pretty way you roll your eyes when you're trying to act annoyed. And yeah, just you.” His hand reaches for yours in his lap, loosely twisting your fingers with his. “Any version of me would like you,” It's so soft, you're not sure if that last part was meant for you to hear.
His eyes are focused out in front of you, not even slightly looking like someone that just confessed. So you ignore it, summing it up as a slip of the tongue. You don't comment, but that doesn't stop the butterflies from taking over your stomach.
All at once, you're being met with the undeniable urge to kiss him. Just to see what it feels like. Throw out the self-proclaimed challenge you set for yourself because Arya was probably wrong. You've spent the entire night with the guy, he cheered you on from the crowd, brought you to his spot, and now this... unconscious confession. The fact that he liked you was on his mind so much that he was saying it without even realizing it.
You found it extremely hard to think someone like that would have the wrap sheet he was given. Or, maybe he did in the past... but with you it was different. Why else would he take you here, invite you into his space and talk to you the way that he has if it wasn't anything different? Right?
Right.
So before you can talk yourself out of it, you're tilting your head to the side to face him. “It's pretty here, huh?” Voice much softer now, you've taken control of the fiddling of fingers. Twisting yours around him and occasionally brushing your nails against his skin. It's subtle enough to be taken lightly but just enough to leave his skin tingling.
He's quick to pick up on your change of demeanor, brows raising in slight surprise, but he doesn't say anything. In fact, he's following your lead, leaning his body in closer to yours. “Mhm. Quiet too, nobody really comes over here,” His fingers tug at the belt loops in your jeans, tongue pushing out to wet his lips.
“That's good,” Your breath brushes against his lips as you speak, eyes dropping to his lips. He doesn't say anything else, gently pulling his fingers from your grasp just so he can spread his palm on the side of your neck. And then his lips are crashing down onto yours, hand holding your head in place.
Hoseok kisses you slowly at first, mouth molding with yours. But it's not long before he's brushing his tongue over your lips, testing the waters before he's plunging in. Fingers pressed into his jeans, you try to keep your head from spinning as his tongue pushes against yours. He tastes earthy... but a little sweet. It's intoxicating.
With two hands planted firmly on your hips, he's easily lifting you onto his lap. The movement so fast it's forcing you to break the kiss, a squealed laugh breaking the kiss. Which he meets with a wide grin, reaching to push your hair from your face. Slowly, he drags the tips of his fingers over your jawline, until he's holding your chin between his thumb and index finger.
“I really like your lips,” He says through a groan, leaning in to cover your mouth with his once more. Hands dropping to cover the curve of your ass, pushing your body further up on his lap so your hips collide. You can feel his half-hard cock pressed against your thigh and it takes everything in you not to grind your hips forward.
The feeling of his cool hands slipping underneath your sweater has a shiver running down your spine. Body reacting to the way his fingers climb up your skin, grazing over the underwire of your bra. His teeth tug at your lower lip and you feel the twitch of his cock hardening as his hands slide underneath.
Your slow with pulling back, not fully wanting to pull away – but knowing if you didn't stop now you wouldn't be able to convince yourself later on. It's cute, though, the way his lips chase yours as you put distance between the two of you. When he's not tasting the peach of your lip gloss, his eyes flutter open.
Two large hands resting over your breasts, cheeks matching the color of his eyes. “You don't want to?” He looks genuinely confused, like someone not wanting to sleep with him right away was some foreign concept. Still, he's pulling his hands from the inside of your shirt, resting them behind him.
“Not yet,” He nods, glossy lips spreading into a smile. “Okay,” He leans up to press a reassuring kiss to your nose before he's sliding you off of his lap. And then, without missing a beat he's saying. “I bet I can name more constellations than you,” Completely wiping away any possibility of an awkward moment rising.
Challenging you with a smirk on his face and the comfortable atmosphere you had been in before is quickly returning. “Yeah, okay.” He's stretched out on the ground so he can look at the sky properly and you're quick to lower yourself beside him.
And just like that, you're pointing out clusters of stars, laughing at the ridiculous names that you come up with. Your head pressed to his shoulder and his arm wrapped around you. You don't even notice as the hours tick by.
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— you’re just his type. so it’s no surprise when all of his time and effort goes into making you his. though, they’ve always said… you only want it because you can’t have it.
⤪ masterlist ⤨
taglist: @agustdef @silentlyimpractical @gldnrecs @jaiuneamesolitaiire @preciouschimine @joonies-babyy @dee-ehn @aqtkookie @itsrapmonstanotdancemonsta @seokjinslittledumpling @thecityrain @jeonsshadow @papichulo-knj @amour-quinn @bangtansbun @kooafraid @metaethically @miss-jupiter @tanumiki @yoongiofmine @princecalpal @iridescentstories @jikooksgirl19 @mikrokosmicjoon @hqtetsurou @needingyou2 @alterlovess @ladyarmanto @trinityxsope @myworldisgone11 @yutaeminnie @yoooonie @peachy-tata @paolandotcom @strwberry-jam @certifiedcrazycatlady​ @hansolsrightnut @btsbangtanbois @rlynotme @morseszn​ @codeinebelle​ @rjsmochii​ @joontopia​ @knjkitten​ @tae165​ @yayo-kittty​ @chocobetterknot​ @v3nti​ @ggukkieland​ @kelitt​ 
taglist: @taejinminsu @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @hobiheavenly @pjmcth @lovesickhobi @morndas @letmebreathepls @stcrwhiz @bangtan-noona @jungkookspromise @betysotelo18 @lilacdreams-00 @prdshobi @yeontanie21 @ayyyocee @beeeb05​ @richietrashmouthbitchie @arya-di-angelo @illwritetomorrow @taefilm​ @daesstuff​ @sungieshines​ @wildly-lost-lantern​ @ephyra1230​ @hellotherehoneybee​ @mochibabycakes​ @lowlifeoeuvre​ @seolarjk​ @kookoo-kachoo​ @marifujioka​ @softlyjeon​ @bombardia​ @veronawrites​ @ambersaesthetics​ @hisunshiine​ @kb-bangtanenthusiast​ @sw33tnight​ @agustdakasuga​ @strawberryforever25​ @my-current-mood-is​ @tatajoonie​ @getmemyfries​ @bluewhale52​ @bangtansonyeondayyyum​ @munkey888​ @simplymemyself​ @butterflylion​ @hopiebabie​ @taefect94​ @dionysusrage​
taglist: @heyitsbreeeeee @hobiismyhopeu @xinyourdreamsx @giveortake @moonlitmyg @redluvletmain @niieceyy @xiaokoo @rageyoudamnednerd @bbyjoonies @marvelous-capsicle @daydreambrliever @hoefortaeshands @agustneeds @acc3ssdenied @ruinsofangels @bloomtilweache @jiminshibaby @dxlbts @missmadwoman @somewhereofftheglobe @parkjammys @salty-for-suga @scriptedhabits @tatasvoid​ @cozyboy-nee @thesweetest-peas @minyoongiboongi @kkklaudiaaa17​ @powerfultaekook​ @booya--18​ @jooniesbanoonies​ @lizzzaaaaaaaaaaa​ @narrylilomylove​ @iovemaze​ @tricethecharm​ @trynavibewhileicry​ @zxlummxxd​ @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d​ @kuggnuj​ @embrace-themagic​ @namjoonsillegaldimple​ @uhgoodthings​ @jinhitwhore​ @pastelbleuet​ @ephyraaaa​ @joonni​ @elephantdoors​ @gemad08​ @tom-hollands-wife​ 
taglist: @neverthefirstchoice​ @soulstaes​ @diminieshoe​ @jayhope88​ @ssweetsunflower​ @eatjeanjin​ @bigimpression​
A/N: timestamps make sense throughout the fic. if u want to be added to the tag list, send me an ask! + if you’ve asked to be on my permanent taglist, you do not need to ask to be added to this one !!
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rekaspbrak · 3 years ago
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look, I love Loki and Mobius but saying that Loki and Sylvie were portrayed as having a strictly platonic/sibling-like dynamic in episode 3 and that they did a whole 180 with romance in episode 4 is just...not it
the moment I first watched that episode I raised eyebrows at certain scenes because the way they were framed, shot, it was very suggestive and pointed towards marvel exploring their dynamic in a different way.
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this happened exactly 5 minutes into the episode 3, after Loki ran after her. before this scene, Sylvie checked him out and then slowly leaned into his personal space, put her hands around his neck (which we know she didn’t have to bc she can enchant without literally breathing into someone’s mouth), all while both of them were panting. the way this was framed, the soft background light illuminating the room, their silhouettes forming a heart...all this made me go “wait a moment” upon first watching it, because this is not how you want to portray a sibling-like dynamic. this had very obvious romantic undertones
like, we all adore the famous lokius tie-fixing scene, right? so saying that that scene was filled with romantic/sexual tension, but this one with Sylvie enchanting Loki is just ‘classic sibling behaviour, no tension or chemistry whatsoever here’ is kinda hypocritical and that’s a lot coming from someone who favors lokius.
and even later on, they talked about love, love is hate, love is mischief, they dropped the subject but Loki, unprovoked brought it up again.
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which not only was a huge foreshadowing but also a hint that this convo about love would have some deeper meaning later on in season. and it did. why would two characters who were set to have sibling type of dynamic insist on talking about romantic love (yes, it was romantic because their love convo started because of that old woman), if marvel didn’t have certain other plans for them?
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I don’t think I even have to bring up the serenading scene because that one moment was sus from the start as well. I know people try to pass it off as a platonic/sibling moment because Loki tried to remind Sylvie of home yada yada, but if it was intended to be platonic, why did they have Tom (a class A actor who knows full well how to emote) as Loki stare at Sylvie with completely besotted look in his eyes.
there were some scenes that were more subtle like “you’re my way.”, the fireworks between them, Loki saying “love is a dagger” to Sylvie and then a few moments later using that very same dagger to throw it at her to save her, the way certain scenes were framed etc, but some of these scenes were straight up loud. even in the interview after this episode came out, Michael Waldron said that this was intentionally filmed as the most romantic episode of the season, and it was based off Before Sunrise (two people meeting and getting to know each other, spending the night together, talking and exploring the city, falling in love in a couple of hours)
like, close your eyes for a moment and imagine Loki saying “you’re my way” to Mobius, or Mobius trying to enchant him the way Sylvie did, Loki and Mobius discussing love the way he did with Sylvie, Loki serenading a song to Mobius instead of Sylvie...
we’d be having a blast right? we’d definitely view those scenes very differently then. and that’s the trick, because our favouritism of a certain ship sometimes clouds our deduction of what’s truly happening on screen. 
why do you think there were so many “don’t ship these two!” posts after episode 3 came out? because people noticed this developing chemistry. You can look up reaction vids on youtube, or even actual reviews or articles that came after this episode came out. “are they falling in love?” “is this headed towards romance?” “wow, flirty Loki” were some of the most spoken words.
so saying “everyone saw them as siblings” is simply not true. it was there, very, very openly so, when even those who were objectively watching the show without any shipping goggles on noticed that. 
same goes for those who say “yeah but Sylvie and Loki were just bickering and fighting all the time so that must mean they had a sibling like dynamic.”
ummm, sorry to break it to you, but two people meeting each other, starting off as enemies (?), fighting/bickering but ultimately falling in love is one of the most common tropes. 
and let’s not pretend there aren’t other mcu canon couples who started off pretty similar.
Tony and Pepper bickered all the time. Are they siblings too?
Gamora and Peter bickered/fought but ultimately fell in love. Are they siblings too?
point is that no, Loki and Sylvie were never portrayed as having sibling like dynamic, and no matter what you ship,be it lokius, lokixravonna, lokixcasey etc, you can admit that (trust me, it will feel good, therapeutic almost), and it still doesn’t invalidate your chosen ship. like, take off your shipping goggles, do a rewatch and try to not let your favouritism of a certain other ship cloud what’s in front of you.
saying the romance came out of nowhere, that they had no chemistry, not even the slightest hint of it is just deluding yourselves at this point and let’s not do that. with second season coming in two years there’s a huge chance we’ll be doing plenty of clowning later on.
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iridiscent-aesthetics · 3 years ago
Note
I just saw your headcanon of az being jealous of gwyn and eris, may I suggest the opposite? gwyn being jealous of az and eris talking.
Oh I LOVE this one! Might be a tad bit tricky but I'm soo very up for it! Thank you @aelingalathyniusrailme for SUCH a great idea!
Gwyn would've found this entertaining. IF it wasn't Azriel there. She was aware of their hatred. Aware that they were literally always at each others throats. But she couldn't help but fume with jealousy while watching them in the training ring take on each other. Blow to blow, matching at each stride. She was watching Eris and Az spar. It began with a heated argument leading to the Autumn court heir challenging the Shadowsinger to spar. And now here they were, since a straight of 15 minutes, sparring. Neither nowhere close to yielding. Gwyn was cursing the redheaded male with all she had for choosing sparring instead of dueling. The absence of the weapons as a bridge and the proximity of their sweaty bodies was too much, nor did it help that neither had a shirt on. The angst, the tension built between them; it seemed straight out of one of her smutty romance books. Gwyn wasn't liking this one bit. "Come on guys, We get it! You're strong and bold. You're Fearless males! There. fed your bloated male egos. Now stop. would you?!" She yelled, throwing her hands in the air frustrated. "Let them be Gwyn, this is far more entertaining than having to listen them arguing to the point of biting each others heads off." Cassian stood besides her crossing his arms and watching them with a hint of curiosity as to who would win. Gwyn bet her money on Az because she would have it no other way, but as much as she hated to admit, Eris was just as good. "Yeah Gwyn. Besides, two of the hottest males fighting, now that's a sight to sore eyes. Enjoy the show!" Nesta chimed in elbowing her, eyeing Cass as he put his hand to his heart and feigned a dramatic expression of pain. Nesta rolled her eyes. "Oh I'll give you a good show Ness." He said scooping her in his arms and took to the sky. Newly mated idiots, couldn't stay away for a minute. Gwyn looked back to the ring and groaned "Well at least take a break!" "Okay!" Yelled Az before delivering a good blow right to Eris's jaw. "Break." There. That should teach the male a lesson for getting all cocky and getting Az worked up. "Going easy on me Shadowsinger?" Eris said rubbing his jaw. Mother! this male's audacity was insufferable! "Wouldn't want to ruin that pretty face of yours, your highness." Az smirked back. Gwyneth clenched her fist. Pretty face?! What in all of Prythian made Az think Eris was pretty! Did he find him attractive? Was he into males? Eris was beyond fine, he was VERY attractive. A strong jaw and sharp eyes with a strong intensity. The male was hot . quite literally. He would make a fit equal to Az. His lethal darkness and Eris's burning fire. She shook her head, No. She was over thinking, Az hated Eris; old bad blood. There was no way he'd fall for him. But she'd make sure of it. Az walked out of the training pit and straight to her, sweat dripping off him. Gwyn couldn't tear her eyes off him. "Enjoying the show Berdara?" Came a teasing Azriels' voice. "Mhmm." She didn't even want to deny it, let him know she was attracted to him. About time it got through that dense head of the Night Court's infamous Spymaster. "Hey Az..., what's your type?" She shot him the question looking everywhere but him. He shot his head to her. "What?" She finally met his gaze. "I'm asking you what kind of people you're attracted to Shadowsinger!" Gwyn was certain her face was as red as her hair now. He looked into her eyes for a hard moment before answering in a low voice. "Redheads. Stubborn ones with a fiery attitude at that. Bonus if they're competitive." He was still looking straight into her eyes, with a small smirk, tilting his head aside as if waiting for her expression, while his shadows were dancing around her in excitement. Gwyn's jaw almost dropped. Along with her heart as it fell to her shoe. She was right. Of course. Of course he was attracted to fucking Eris. Redhead, stubborn, fiery attitude AND competitive. Should've added fire d*ck to the list. "Right." She'd say nothing else. She looked away. "Gwyn?" Came his voice again. Her heart ached as she looked over
to Azriel's concerned face, trying to keep her sorrow reeled in within her. His shadows were frantically jumping around them. "Is everything alright, why'd you ask?" She gave him her best smile. "Yes of course." she waved it off. " just curious." He didn't seem convinced at the slightest but didn't push as he held up a water bottle and drank. Gwyn couldn't stop herself then, She was still his friend, He deserved to be happy, even if not with her. She'd help him pursue Eris. Even if the male would never deserve Az. "So I take it you're into males?" Az choked on the water he was drinking. "What?" He croaked out. Gwyn rose an eyebrow. "Males Shadowsinger, the ones that usually have a d*ck and insufferable egos but pea sized brains?" Azriel looked amused. "You forget that I'm a male too priestess." "Didn't." She muttered and leveled him with a bored stare. "Answer the question Spymaster." Az looked away, his gaze probably searching for Eris. "I've had male lovers in the past. But I've never felt a strong attraction, especially romantic attraction to them over five centuries. Pretty sure nothing's changed now." "Then Eris- how, He's an exception?" Azriel looked at her with a bewildered expression eyes widened. "Eris? What-why, what about him Gwyn?" Gwyn rolled her eyes, hands on her hips, looking down at him. "Quit the puppy eyes act Az. It fine admitting you're attracted to Eris, he's okayish. You'd look good together I guess. Enemies to Lovers arc, angsty slow burn romance,," she shrugged nonchalantly even though she was fuming inside. Az's shadows dropped. To say he was shocked was an understatement. Should he laugh, should he be hurt, or angry maybe? Eris? Of all people in Prythian, HIM? Gwyn though he was attracted to THAT male? "Gwyneth." He started in an emotionless tone face solemn, "What the actual fuck led you to THAT conclusion?" "Oh please. It was evident, for all that being Spymaster and stuff, you sure are obvious about your crushes. I mean for starts, you HATE him, or at least ACT like you do. That's always the first step to enemies to lovers. And then you guys are ALWAYS bantering! Score 2. And did you SEE that tension while you were sparring? AND Flirting with Eris? Its clear as day 'Mr. I show No Emotion'. And Redheads? Seriously Az, could you have even tried and been any more subtle? Az looked at her for a dead half a minute and then burst out laughing so hard that everyone in the training arena were now staring at them in pure shock to see the infamous Spymaster laughing his ass off. Az looked at her, trying to stop laughing, but one look at her angry face and he burst out in fits all over again. Gwyn kicked him good and hard in the knee. "Ouch!" He yelled, not stopped laughing as he held his knee. "Gwyn- I oh Cauldron. Wait." He heaved in and out. "Good shot Berdara." He said with a hint of pride, still chuckling. Gwyn kicked him again. "Nice try deflecting Spymaster." Az shook his head rapidly, still trying to catch his breath. He calmed down and looked at her. "Gwyneth Berdara. My darling. You thought I was attracted to Eris?" He started laughing again. Gwyn grew nervous, "You're not? But you said Redhead, Stubborn, Fiery attitude, Competitive. Eris is all that." "Well I'm not attracted to Eris. AT ALL. Please don't ever say or even think of that again. Please. For the sake of my sanity." Gwyn sighed in relief. "Sorry, I assumed Wrong." But then she tensed again. "But then, if not Eris, then..." She trailed off. If he wasn't attracted to Eris, then who else was it? Redheads? Lucien? Az stood up and held her arms. "Gwyn. Gwyn look at me." She looked up at him with weary eyes. "Can you think of a better Redhead? A stubborn, competitive, fierce one? She's fearless and strong." Gwyn scrunched her nose in thought. A she, was it Vassa? He flicked her nose. "She's a Valkyrie Gwyn." A Valkyrie? There weren't many new ones other than her, Emerie and Nesta, only about two or three. She looked around to see if there were any redheads in them. Az rubbed his hands on his face. "Mother's sake Gwyn,
its YOU." Her eyes shot to his in disbelief. He liked HER? "I- you, me?" She pointed a finger to herself. "You like me?" Azriel was furiously blushing red, he rubbed the back of his neck giving her a sided grin. "Yeah...that's what I'm saying..." Gwyn thought she was going to burst with all the emotions. "I-" Before she could say anything else Eris walked up to them. "Break over yet Shadowsinger?" He smirked. Gwyn growled, literally growled and stepped in front of Az. "Stay away from him Eris, find someone else to play fight. If I see you anywhere near him or talking to him, I swear to the mother, I will rip your throat out." Eris took a step back at her promised violence. "Hiding behind a female, Scared of losing Spymaster?" Gwyn took a step at him, she was certain she'd show Eris hell today. "Leave us alone Eris. I've scored my best win today." He said, looking at Gwyn fondly and putting a hand on her shoulder. Eris snorted and left muttering something to himself. "So..., are we going to talk about how adorable you are when you're jealous and angry? Especially over Eris?" Az teased her with a huge grin and happy eyes "I have no idea what you're talking about." Gwyn shrugged in charming irreverence. His gaze darkened as he looked into her ocean eyes, "You never finished what you were saying before asshole Eris butted in?" Gwyn gave him a soft smile before reaching up to his collar and pulling him down so she could kiss him. She pecked his lips once slightly before letting go and grinning at him while she walked away, leaving Az to process what happened and blush furiously like a teenager. He watched Gwyn walk away in victory. Mother, this female never failed to amaze him, And he was certain that this wouldn't be the last time. For the first time in five centuries, Az found hope. Found himself looking forward for the next day, and the rest of his life. Something sparked in his chest at the thought, A smile unconciously made way to his lips, like every time he thought of Gwyn; and this time, he didnt make to erase it. He'd let it for the world to see, the happiness Gwyneth Berdara brought to his life.
It's not about them talking exactly, but this seemed more fun to write😅
I tried! Not sure if it was good enough, but I've never really tried writing from Gwyn's POV.
Feedback, suggestions and other ideas always welcome!
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lord-explosion-baku · 4 years ago
Text
Funhouse
Sero x Reader
You and Sero havin’ a little fun at the Summer fair.
Warnings: semi-public wall sex, cunnilingus, fluff?
A/N: I’m mourning the loss of Summer and all the fun things that go along with it. I think I really miss the fair and love Hanta Sero, so...here’s smth. (18+)
The determined look on your face is heart-wrenching. With your brows drawn down, and the subtle hint of tongue peeking out of your lips as you aim your water gun at the target, it’s no surprise that Sero can’t concentrate on the task at hand. He’s already won so many other fair games—he has you, the loser, toting around that giant teddy bear (the one he plans on letting you keep) to prove it—so he thinks he might let you best him. Just this once.
When the bell goes off, crowning you as the game’s victor, you squeal and cheer, bouncing into Sero’s waiting embrace. This game is easy enough, so the prizes aren’t that big, but you’re ecstatic when you get to choose one for yourself: a little leather choker with a mock-silver flower pendant.
“That’ll look cute on you,” Sero is quick to say. He’s been taking any opportunity to compliment you—so long as it’s not creepy—to make it so his intentions are clear; although, he’s not too sure you’ve picked up on any of his hints. Yet. He doesn’t want to be too obvious or pushy, either, even if there is a carnal monster deep inside of him that demands he acts differently. If you don’t vibe with him in the way he really wants you to, he’d still like to keep you as a good friend, even if it burns him, and leaves that monster starving.
“On me?” You laugh. “Definitely! But I wanna know how it’ll look on you!”
You turn to face him, grinning mischievously, choker-necklace weapon in hand. You bite your lip and look at him expectedly. He rolls his eyes and yields, dipping down so you can reach him. You thrust the bear into his hands so you can do your worst.  
“It’s only fair,” he says as you wrap the choker around his neck. He hears when you clasp it at his nape, and fights the goosebumps that try to run down his arms. “You’re carrying my prize, after all.”
Even though you have the necklace clasped, your touch lingers, as if you’re pretending to struggle to get it on. Gentle fingers brush against his sensitive skin and Sero wonders if it’s intentional—if you know that your touch scorches him, and whether you know that you’re torturing him or not. As much fun as he’s having with you, you've got him wrapped around your little finger. He’s smitten—captivated and enslaved by that devilish glint in your eyes when you say you want to play another game—when you tell him he’s going down, and even though you haven’t beat him until now, your good mood never falters. You skip around in your summer dress, laughing about clowns or rides or lights, and Sero’s world ends where you begin.
He’d originally thought that taking you to the fair could’ve been a simple friend-date—it wouldn’t be any different if he’d invited Kirishima or Kaminari, but deep down he knows that had been a foolish gamble. Neither Denki nor Ei make his heart skip like you do. Now that the two of you are alone, he can’t ignore the spell you’ve got him under. He’s been wrong before, but this proves to be a monumental screw up.
Your bright smile lights up Sero’s world when you give him an approving look, proud of your work. The choker is snug around his neck, and you loop a finger around it, giving it a tug to test its durability.
“Pretty,” you say wryly, a charming tilt to your smile.
“I prefer devilishly handsome, but I’ll accept pretty.”
“Oho, somebody’s full of themselves.” You laugh and push on his chest, stepping away from him. “Let me make room for your giant ego.”
“Hey, now, I’ve earned my giant ego, thank you very much!” Sero pushes the bear back into your hands and tugs on its ears. “This just proves I rule this fair, and you’re nothing more than a serf in the kingdom of Hanta Sero.”
You grab his hand, lift it up, and twirl yourself underneath him, giant bear dancing with you. “Well, I’ve got spirit. And plenty more games I’m sure I can beat you at.”
“Ohoho spirit? That’s just what losers say to make themselves feel better.”
“Losers?!” You bark out, smile widening. “You sound like Bakugou!”
Sero’s mouth falls open, showing mock-indignity. “You wound me!”
“That’s just what happens when your ego inflates! A simple prick of a needle and-“ You and make a motion with your hands, miming a balloon, then blow a raspberry as you drive an imaginary needle through it. Sero blows a raspberry right back, and you use the opportunity to shove the bear in his face.
Hands free, you dance around him in search of another game you might be able to beat him at. The two of you have already gone on all the best rides, shared a funnel cake, and have blown through plenty of cash competing with each other, but it’s obvious that you’re not satisfied yet.
You eye the funhouse, and look at Sero conspiratorially. Usually that place is reserved for younger fair patrons, but now that the sun is down, and most kids have tired out due to their sugar highs, the funhouse is left ignored.
There’s that familiar glint in your eyes, and Sero knows you’re scheming something.
“What are you thinking?” Sero asks, walking towards you. He tries pushing the bear back into your arms, but you’re quick to dodge him, ducking closer to the funhouse.
“Well,” you say, roguish. Sero steps closer to you, and you bounce away, intent on leaving the bear in his arms. “I’m willing to admit that you rule the fair, if-“ you step up on the funhouse stairs, hands on the railings, blocking the path. You swing down, leveling your face with Sero’s. Your breath is cool and tauntingly sweet. He wants to taste it. He wants to taste you.
“If?” Sero prompts, swallowing thickly. He watches you lick some residual sugar off your lips, and the need to assist you with that is overbearing.
“If you can catch me in under two minutes.” You swing away, always so close, yet unobtainable. For a moment your dress flutters up, and he catches a glimpse of your blue, cotton panties. He felt bad when he saw them earlier while you climbed out of a ride, but now he kinda thinks you want him to see them. The organ inside Sero’s chest thuds at the challenge, and his carnal monster roars in agreement.
“I’ll only need a minute,” he whispers as you lean forward again, eyes darkened with allure. There’s no way you don’t know you’re teasing him now. The look on your face is borderline devious.
“You’ll have to do it with the bear, in under a minute, then. If you can’t catch me before the time is up, you have to carry him for the rest of the night.”
“And when I do catch you in under a minute?” Sero asks, fully aware that he’s being overconfident. It only makes sense, since he’s gotta throw his giant ego around tonight.
“You’ll earn my utmost respect—maybe a prize, too, if the ruler of the fair knows how to ask for it.” The grin you offer him is potent—a blow that taunts the urge to wrap his arms around you and steal the dare away from your lips. “I’ll even call you King Sero, or my liege—whatever gets your blood pumpin’.”
“What kinda prize?” Sero rasps, as you toy with the choker around his neck. You pull on it, yanking him closer. He can smell your shampoo while your lips press against the shell of his ear. It’s as if you’re going to whisper a secret, but instead, you move to kiss his cheek.
“It’s a secret,” you whisper-laugh, once again leaning away and backing up the stairs. Again, he catches your dress swaying up, and he knows he needs to catch you. “Gimme a ten second head start.”
Cheeks burning, Sero takes a step up the stairs. “No way.”
“Five seconds!” You call, giddily rushing through the first part of the funhouse. You disappear through a thrum of inflatable clowns, and Sero’s chest aches with the partial promise of your secret prize.
“No way!” He yells, taking off after you. He’s immediately bombarded with bright colors of yellows, reds, and purples—clowns hitting him in the face, and your answering giggles. He uses the giant bear as a sort of shield to push through the plastic crowd, only to find himself in a new room, full of dozens of you, and dozens of him.
Sero bonks his head on a mirror and sees about ten of you, clutching your stomach in delight while he tries to make it through the maze. You tease him with a song, matching the tune of the carnival music echoing through the funhouse, and he follows the sound of your pretty voice, extending his hands out to make sure not to hit his head again. He knows he’s almost out when all of your reflections disappear, along with your song.
The next room is just a long hall with a trampoline. You’re nowhere to be seen, so Sero doesn’t even spare a second to jump around like he normally would. He charges forward, only to hear you laughing from somewhere behind him. He turns to see a little divot in the wall—a room he wouldn’t be able to see from from the angle he first entered. Through the hidden doorway, Sero finds himself in a room lit up with pink and red lights. The carnival music is louder here than any other place due to the speaker drilled into the wall. The room is empty, besides the pair of blue cotton panties on the floor, and you with your back and hands pressed against the farthest wall.
“You found mee,” you sing with a flirty lilt in your voice. There’s a strain in Sero’s jeans from knowing that you’re standing there, stark underneath that summer dress, waiting for him.
Sero drops the bear and walks towards you. “In under a minute?”
You bite your lip and shake your head. “I was hoping you’d be counting, big guy.”
“I was—definitely.” Sero experimentally presses both of his hands into your sides. You hum and shift your hips so your pelvic bone presses against the bulge in his pants. Longing lodges in Sero’s throat while your arms move around his neck.
“So did you win?”
Sero’s laugh is forced through his tight windpipes. You’re playing with the hairs in the back of his head, practically begging him to kiss you. He knows you’re waiting for him to make a move, but if he’s being honest—
“Well, y’know, I hit my head on a glass pane, and had to start over—“
“Pffft! You’re such a dork!” You move your hands to his chest. He catches them, and slides them behind you, against the wall. Your breath catches when he drops his head down to yours.
“You like it,” he whispers as he grazes his nose against yours, right before your lips touch. His hovers over yours for only a moment—a couple seconds to really feel your anticipation, until he’s on you, and everything is right.
Your kiss is soft and tastes like funnel cake—potent and addictive. He slides his hands back down to your neck and cups your jaw, pulling you into a deeper kiss. His tongue pushes between your two soft pillows, tasting you, savoring your heady flavor. As satisfying as it is to finally kiss you, he knows it’s not enough. He pulls away only to trail more kisses down the hollow of your neck. “What was my prize again?”
Your answering laugh is breathy, as if you’re not expecting it. You clasp on to Sero’s shirt while he runs a hand up your thigh, lifting your dress. His kisses travel lower and lower, from your chest, to your stomach, until he’s on his knees, hands on your pert ass, and the light material of your dress shrouds him. This way, he can see your beautiful body, from the curve of your breasts, to the soft tuft of hair at your pubic bone. He tongue toys with your entrance, enjoying the little shudder you give him right before he sucks on your clit.
“Ohh,” you sigh, lifting your leg over his shoulder. “I thought you were supposed to get a prize.”
“Mhmm,” he groans into you, noting the way your body shakes with the vibration of his voice. He gives your sensitive flesh little kitten licks, while he slides two digits into your rousing heat. You moan, loud enough to be heard over the music, and Sero loves it. He wants to hear more of it—to know just how good he can make you feel.
While he traces circles around your clit, his fingers curl inside of you, pushing against the soft pads of your inner walls, coaxing out your pleasure. When your back arches, he props you up so now both of your legs are around his shoulders, and he’s holding you up with his own strength, and the supporting wall. He moans whenever you do, knowing when he’s got you, and wanting to enhance all the sensations he’s making you feel.
He picks up the pace, lapping at you until your voice breaks and you contract over his fingers. The sounds you make are far too pretty to end so soon, so even when he knows you’re at your peak, he doesn’t stop until you’re panting obscenities, and your legs quiver around him.
When you’re finally done twitching, Sero eases your legs off of his shoulders, only to have you stumble and fall back. Before you can catch yourself on the wall, Sero wraps an arm around your waist, catching you against his body.
“My god, Sero.” You breathe, kneading your fingers into his shirt. You pull on it, peeking at his deep v-line, and bite your lip.
He smirks in I-know-you-want-me.
“So, about my prize?” Sero prompts with a raise of a brow, the carnal monster’s tail wagging. “Thought you were gonna call my my liege or somethin’.”
“Oh? Is that all you want?” You begin undoing his belt-buckle, caging him in with a seductive stare. Zippers drop and you treacherous fingers move into his jeans, cupping him through his boxers like you already own it. In a way, you do—Sero’s been a fucking simp for you since day one—but you don’t have to know that. Not when the ball is in his court. “I thought you’d like something a little more than that, but-“
With the power of all the gods that have cursed Sero’s name, you remove your hand from his pants. There’s a pounding ache, both in his chest, and his seriously angry erection, and he no longer thinks and just does. Rather, that carnal monster completely takes over. He’s grabbing you—anywhere he can get his hands on. He trips over himself trying to get more of you—he needs to grab your curves, he needs to know what makes you gasp, he needs to feel you everywhere. You’re pushed back up against the wall, legs up, beautifully wet core exposed. He loses his pants, and you, sweet, hot, and slick, are sliding onto his cock.
“Ohhhh, fuck,” Sero murmurs at the same time your mouth falls open, taking in his length.your legs curl around his hips and he can tell by your warbling pleas that he’s stretching you. That only goads him into pulling out and slamming back into you.
You yip, head thrown back in surprised bliss and Sero has to curse again, because shit, he always thought that you’d feel good, but he never anticipated how well you’d hug him. It’s like you’re made for him, and he genuinely has to stop himself from saying something dumb like thank you, and instead continue his thrusting.
“God, Sero, y-you’re-“ You’re panting, brows furrowed, clinging onto him for dear life as he grooves against you with a delightfully hip-tingling pace- “s-so deep!”
“Tell me it feels good, baby,” Sero grunts through his teeth. “Tell me you like this cock.”
“Yessssero, you feel s-so—aaahhh-“ You’re cut off when Sero assaults your neck, licking your soft skin, before sinking his teeth into you. You mewl, and he feels you tighten around his dick. He groans, low and animalistic, sucking on you harshly, knowing he’ll leave a mark, and reveling in the fact that it’ll look so pretty on you. “You look so hot with that stupid fucking choker. I-! God, I’ve been wanting to do this all night!”
“Hah!” He can’t help but laugh. Even when he’s so far gone, and you feel like that, wrapped around his cock, snug and intoxicating, you’re still so fucking cute. Not just hot—you’re such a dork, it’s no wonder you make him crazy. He meaningfully wraps an arm around your waist to draw you in closer, chuckling against your skin, thinking about all the cute shit you’ve done today.
“Hhharder.” Your voice is laced with need while you knot a fist in Sero’s hair, snapping him back into this fantastic fucking moment. He’s not sure if you want him to bite you harder or fuck you harder, but he sure as well is gonna find out. “Please, Sero! More! More!”
He grunts and slaps his palms to each of your ass cheeks, gripping desperately as he pulls you deeper onto him, fucking you faster. You’re practically bouncing on his dick by the time he finds a nice, albeit furious, rhythm, wailing in ecstasy. You’re hissing the word, “yes,” over and over, and he can feel himself start to lose control.
He lets one of your legs touch the ground, so he has a free hand to rub at your swollen clit. His tongue finds yours, and your moans mute out by his sloppy, eager kiss. His fingers draw quick circles around you, while he slows his pace, feeling for that peak.
“You gonna come for me, babe?” Sero seethes against your lips. “Squeeze my cock with your hot little cunt? That’s all I really want for my prize, y’know. Think you can do that for me?”
“Just a little more.” You breath shakes as your nails dig into his arms. “Don’t stop fucking me, Sero. I need you.”
Sero grinds his hips into yours, his tip pushing up against that sweet, velvety cushion inside of you. “Like this, hon?”
“Y-yeah, that-! Just like that! I’m-!” He feels it then. You surge, pussy spasming  around him. You make a sort of long whimpering sound and melt into him, clutching the lapels of his shirt, and pulling him into a kiss. He finds himself quickly growing addicted to the taste of your lips, and it distracts him from his own oncoming orgasm. It’s too late for him to pull out, so he chokes on a groan, and let's go. He spills himself into you, coating your fluttering walls with white, hot seed.
“Oh, fuck.” He laughs breathlessly. He holds you still, but he can already feel himself spilling out of you. “That wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“No?!” You ask, half-incredulous, half-amused.
He’s happy to see you’re in good spirits, but when you moan a tiny bit when he pulls out, his half-erect dick does a little jerk. Inwardly, Sero scolds that carnal monster, and quickly uses your briefs to clean up the mess. He peeks at you apologetically, then pockets your soiled panties.
“That’s kinda pervy,” you say, coy, but your smile is as bright as ever.
“I mean, if you wanna carry around cum-covered underwear, be my guest.” He moves to grab them again, but instead, you lace your fingers with his.
“No, no! You did good!”
Sero lifts a brow. “Just good?” That carnal monster huffs. “If you’d like to go again, just be to sure-“
“No, that was something else!” You chuckle, grin widening. “Like, wow. We should’ve started doing that months ago. Who knew all I had to do to get you to fuck me was drop my panties to the floor?”
Sero snickers. “If I knew you wanted me to fuck you, you could waggle a finger at me, and I’d come a-running.”
“That so?” You let go of his hand, and bounce back to the room’s entrance. You cast a look over a shoulder at him, do a little beckoning motion with your finger, and disappear.
The carnal monster barks at his feet to get a move on. Sero makes a mental note to bring you to the fair every chance he gets. He takes off, chasing you through the funhouse, following the sound of your beautiful laughter.
591 notes · View notes
mrwinterr · 4 years ago
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So Happy
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Pairing: Rockstar!Bucky Barnes AU x Female Reader
Summary: After a night with your favorite artist, you’re left wondering where you both really stand. 
Warnings: Smut 18+ (consensual, but unprotected sex, oral [male & female receiving], vaginal penetration and fingering, size kink and dirty talk). Language. Light mentions of substance abuse. Lying asses. Internet toxicity (I hate it here sometimes). Angst, I guess...TIME SKIP...and absolute horrendous fluff (that’s not my brand, alright).
Disclaimer: You can read part 1 here! It would make some sense. 
A/N: This follow-up is still based on some true events. Can’t hate the players, hate the game. For the most part it’s made up because some of us deserve the ending we think we deserve. I’m dedicating this to @shawnie--jo​ for all the love, enthusiasm and the patience because this took me a while. It’s a doozy! & with that note, enjoy!
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“You owe me,” is the first thing you hear your friend say the moment you stepped foot back into the hotel you had booked for the night before. It was in a much different tone than of the one she had in line for the concert.
Frozen in place, you turn your attention to her sitting figure on one of the single couches of the lobby. She wasn’t happy that much you could tell judging by the expression on her face and the way she sat impatiently, one leg over the other and her arms crossed against her chest.
The bag next to hers on the ground adjacent to her feet were your belongings. The way it was misshapen suggested she had hastily shoved your things back in it for you. She must’ve been in a rush to leave before checking out or…
“You owe me $50 for the late check out fee,” she clarifies, ceasing all thoughts of why she was currently pissed at you.
Now begins the walk of shame. It wasn’t something you were used to. Could you even call this that? You had no reason to feel ashamed because you were completely aware of last night’s events. You defended your decision as so! Then why did you feel this way?
Perhaps it had to do with you just now returning to the hotel you were supposed to have been checked out of hours ago, but instead you’re greeted to your more than displeased best friend staring daggers at you for a different reason.
Sheepishly bringing a hand to rub the back of your neck, when you’re close enough to her, you open your mouth to begin apologizing, but she wasn’t done as she got up on her feet to level with you.
“You said you would be back before check out,” she said voice slowly rising in volume, no matter the distance between you two was close or not, you could tell this was just the start of a catalyst, “and it’s...oh,” she stops to look down at her phone, which shined bright revealing her lock screen and more importantly the time, “...only three hours past check out!” Yup, not happy with you at all.  
“I know you’re upset,” you start with the obvious, “and you have the right to be. I said I would be back in time, but I wasn’t,” maybe admitting you were wrong would allow her to see you were indeed aware of your mistakes, soften the blow to come a little bit.
“Upset? I’m disappointed!” she says, her arms falling to her sides and with a look of disbelief but is quickly washed over with indisposition. “Some sell-out rockstar invites you over to see him and you lose your sense of mind?”
“Look, I’ll pay you back. It’s no big deal.” At least on your end, you’re trying to remain calm even when her tone and choice of words get under your skin. You didn’t need this weekend to end on a bad note.
“This isn’t about the money!” She proclaimed.
“Then why are you bitching at me? I’m a grown adult! I know what I did-” Yeah, at least you were trying to stay composed, right?
“Do you?” She challenges. It’s one of those rhetorical questions, in which she didn’t need an answer to, but you were still going to give her one.
“Yes, ok. I slept with Bucky and I don’t regret it.”
The defense you put up so quickly around you weren’t something your friend was used to witnessing...maybe to your parents, yeah, but not at her. Sure, you’ve both had the occasional quarrels, but your relationship and sexual life was different because she really cared for your wellbeing and would be damned if someone hurt you.
“I’m just worried,” she admits for her initial brute front, “what you did was totally unlike you and I…”
“What?” You interrupt her, growing more tired of this conversation by the second.
“I don’t trust Bucky.” She blurts out.
You scoff at that reasoning, “you don’t know him-”
“And you do?” This time she interrupts and catches you off guard on that one. “You’re right. I don’t know him, but you said it yourself. Bucky meets tons of people every day. He’s on the road a lot. It’s easy for him to get lonely.”
There it was again. The self-conscious thoughts questioning everything about last night’s events. In a pathetic display of defense, you start counter-questioning her with some of the statements Bucky said to you. Why would he tell you all those sweet things and pretty promises if he knew he could have you so easily? Why would he think you weren’t like the other women out there who exposed their escapades for their 15 minutes of fame? What made him think anything of you? There were other girls in the crowd.
“He’s going to tell you things he wants you to hear to get what he wants.” She really believed that. She knew what some men were capable of. She had more experience than you and you often turned to her for things like this.
Her last sentence was something to let sink in. The way last night played out and the last few hours you spent with Bucky; you were blinded by a rose tint world.
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Earlier that morning...
“You know,” Bucky starts with his gaze first set on your face, slowly starting to drift down your body trying to catch a glimpse of uncovered skin that the blanket was doing a horrible job in concealing. You watch with bubbling desire the way he bit his bottom lip and eyes growing darker, ”...if you ever need anything. I’m here to help. I can get you out of that town and you can stay with me in Brooklyn. We’ll find you a place to work in that’ll appreciate you more.”
He was a dream. He was so sweet, but you weren’t going to deny it. As much as you adored what little you knew about the real Bucky, a part of you that was always so careful was also skeptical. That voice in the back of your mind, whether it was your parents, teachers in the past, PSA spokespersons or your best friend, was still trying to tell you Bucky wasn’t an exception.
Then on the other hand, you were finally getting what you wanted. You weren’t a little girl anymore. You could take care of your own heart. Why couldn’t you have some fun? Indulge a little. Life is too short to sit around and wait. If he was serious about any of the things he said, then great! If not, oh well, you’ll live. What’s life without experience, right?
You just never imagined any of the harmless mentions or replies through social media were going to get you in bed with him and so smitten.
When Bucky pulls his lips away from you, he repositions himself on the bed to lie on his back and bask in the comfortable silence. You’re still on your side, but your eyes suddenly widen as you curiously take a peek over his frame and notice the red numbers of the alarm clock on the bedside table. The curtains were drawn shut, so you had no trace of the actual time of day.
“Shit,” you muttered to yourself, but was no use. It was just you and Bucky in the room and he’d definitely wonder why you’d grown frantic.
“Whoa. What’s the rush?” He says slowly sitting up, still exhausted, and watching you throw the hotel comforter over your body to get out of bed. You didn’t even care that you were naked in front of him. He’d have a souvenir to remember you by.
The sex tape was the least of your worries though. You fucking missed check out! You can only imagine the look on your friend’s face when you reunite.
“I missed check out,” you respond while momentarily being thrown off course in search of your underwear, but then instantly remembering how Bucky tore it off of you, and you did your best to push aside last night’s activities.
“What?” He asks, rubbing his face trying to rid himself of sleep. He had to get going too. The band was off to play in the next city in some hours. Unfortunately, you didn’t have enough time to take off from work to follow him.
“The hotel I’m staying at. I missed check out and my friend is going to be so pissed at me,” you explained beaten. You can’t for the life of you see where your clothes were in the dark room.
Drawing the curtains open or switching the light on without warning wouldn’t be ideal to the both of you and not only that, the effects of the substances your body was coursed through, the physicality of you and Bucky’s actions last night, the consequence of it all topped with the lone fact that you’re now standing naked in front of Bucky starts to seep in.
You try not to stand there awkwardly and do the only thing you can do. Inhibition creeping back in, you cover your face with your hands and breath in and out, hoping the floor would swallow you whole so you could escape this embarrassment and your friend’s pending wrath.
“Look,” Bucky says now in front of you, pulling your hands away from your face, he’s naked too, washing away some traces of vulnerability away, “you’re already late. You can’t change that. We can only keep moving forward,” he says, his arms slipping around your body to pull you close to his.
The sudden jolt from the skin-to-skin contact quickly subsides with the warmth of his body transferring onto yours. You hold onto his biceps and nod in acceptance. Any attempt to rush back to your hotel wasn’t going to do you any favors now.
“So then, what do you say we get cleaned up and try to enjoy our time together?” The way his head tilted to the side, a not-so-subtle hint in the direction of the shower in the bathroom, his smooth voice and his eyes half-lidded, ready to get lost in you one more time.
You said it yourself, life was short, so if you already knew your friend was going to chew you out, why deny yourself of its pleasures right now, especially if it’s coming from Bucky. 
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“Can we just get going? We’ll catch traffic on the way back to the city if we just stand here and keep putting each other down,” you ask, slightly shaking your head of the early morning activities and straightening yourself up, bending forward to pick up your bag and sling it over your shoulder.
This little spat would eventually pass. None of the arguments you two had were ever threatening to your friendship with each other. You’ve both fought over things much more critical that it’d be a shame to let it be over someone like Bucky.
Before you could turn back around to exit, your friend grabs a hold of your arm and stops you. “I don’t want to see you get hurt. I could be wrong. Bucky could be the one, but I want you to be smart about doing whatever you end up doing with him. I just want you to ultimately be happy,” she says wholeheartedly.
You knew she was only coming from a good place. She only ever encouraged you to do your best and the right thing. She was the one you sought out advice from and she never led you astray. In the end, you knew you couldn’t ever truly be mad at her. You owed her more than $50 alone.
“Thanks. I’m sorry for snapping at you. I know your intentions are in the right place and I really appreciate you for everything. You even agreed to come to this show with me! But I’m only human and I’m going to make mistakes along the way,” you say and notice the fallen look on her face, but you don’t give her long enough to feel sorry for you with your follow up statement, “...if I get hurt, it’s going to suck, but I’ll get back up, learn from it and move on. Plus, I’ll have you there by my side to tell you I told you so...again, and we both know how much you enjoy that!” You end it on a joking note.  
A look of hope creeps back in on your friend and she’s pleased to see your resilient attitude again. You give her your best steadfast smile and it seemingly proved to be successful enough for her to accept your answer as she pulls you in for a warm hug.
You wonder, what Bucky’s motive was? He was Bucky Barnes. He could have anyone. Why did he trust you enough to be intimate with? What was his game? You just had to keep telling yourself for your sanity and wellbeing, with or without Bucky, in the end you’d still be happy.
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The months to follow after that tour, you and Bucky had continued to stay in touch. You genuinely felt happy. He was giving you attention! From daily texts and long phone conversations or video calls, some rather suggestive than most, you were able to really learn a lot about each other. While you minded his glamorous lifestyle, each interaction erased all notions of it and he was just another normal human being.
If you were being truthful, a part of you was hoping whatever the two of you had was exclusive. You didn’t want to admit it, but you were in a way reserving yourself for Bucky because you felt there was something between you two and maybe he was just like you and too shy to be the one to bring it up first.
At times you’d find yourself being the one to initiate conversation...especially when the communication started becoming less frequent. They then reduced to just Holiday texts and suddenly they’d become unresponsive and you’d even be left on read. He never flew you to Brooklyn. He never followed you back on social media. You’d accepted he was most likely busy and the excuse of not wanting to attract unwanted attention to you, but the reality of it was he had seemed to move on.  
It’d been close to a year and things were really quiet. The Avengers hadn’t released anything new nor did they have an upcoming tour to rehearse for. You’re trying to not let Bucky’s silence bug you and do what you’ve always told yourself - keep living your life. You weren’t going to lie to yourself, you were angry at first for letting him get to you like that and realize that boys will be boys. They would never grow a real pair and be straight with women. They always had to go and sugarcoat everything. You had to accept it. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. You were just a one-night stand and the worst part of it was that you consented to it, so you couldn’t hold anything against him.
Things picked back up in your life, work demanded more of your time and you were dating again, taking it very slow and casual. You knew nothing more would come out of it, but it was enough to distract you from Bucky. Life was slowly returning back to normal, even though it never truly could be, until you notice Bucky is posting regularly on his social media accounts again.
It’s not so much that but is one of the comments from another user that is a constant in each sporadic post. You recognize the user as an international model from another country. Curiosity gets the best of you and you decide to check out her profile, noting all the photos of them together and realizing that while you thought Bucky went M.I.A., he was spending his free time getting cozy with her in exotic places.
Her comments start out harmless in the beginning, but quickly become more and more persistent until one sets the record straight. It read, “that’s MY man” followed by a number of heart eye emojis.
You didn’t even know Bucky and the model knew of each other, but why wouldn’t they? He was exposed to extraordinary people, so finding someone in the business was a better bet than settling with you. They lived in a totally different world than yours.
There’s a plethora of thoughts that run through your mind. This is why he isn't responding to you. He had a girlfriend, who was in a much different league than of your own, and he didn’t really go public with it on his end. It made you sad, that much you could admit to yourself because you held back for him, but you weren’t going to admit this feeling to him or your friend or the world. You were going to prove to them you’d do the same thing - move on. 
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It’s a rather slow day at work and you’ve resulted in mindlessly scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed, but growing tired of lame memes and life updates from people you haven’t spoken to since high school, you switch over to Twitter for a more different kind of news and also a bit of some entertainment.
You’re not expecting the particular topic to be trending - #BuckyBarnesIsCancelled. You’d manage to move on from whatever it was between you and Bucky and returned back to your daily routine. You tried to remain a fan of The Avengers, but it wasn’t the same. The fling, if you could call it, with Bucky wouldn’t let you. You’d always be grateful for how their music impacted your life, but you’d have to keep living your life despite what transpired.  
Sitting up from your slumped position in your office chair, you ponder for maybe two seconds before clicking on the hashtag. Things were still pretty quiet with The Avengers, with the exception of paparazzi photos here and there, but this seemingly came out of nowhere. What stupid thing did he get himself into?
“No way,” you mock at the headline. Claims of Bucky being mentally abusive, and an addict were being made left and right.
You scrolled through the timeline and threads of replies to find the source of it all and you were shocked that it came from none other than his own girlfriend...well now ex-girlfriend you assumed. The vindictive side of you only allowed a small part in finding some humor in this, but if Bucky was any bit of the Bucky you spent the night with and got to know for those few short months then this was sad for him.
There wasn’t much you could do though. What were you to do? Send him a message of condolences of some sort? He’d probably just leave you on read. Whatever you two had was long over.
Bucky’s agency did well to defend him and save his reputation. They released one statement to clear things up. There’d been images before of him partying and no doubt high on some substance, but that didn’t prove he was an addict. Then again, did you ever really know him? You’d been exposed to that stuff around and because of him. Some people just had more access to certain things than others did.
In some time, when things leveled out once more, he seemed to be back in the clear, but at a rate where people have already decided whose story they believed over the other, whose side they were on, the damage had been done. If there was a recurring theme here, Bucky had one thing to do after the scandal - move on with his life.
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It felt a little strange being here again. If you take into consideration some of the things that had already happened, a lot has really changed since you were last in a line to see The Avengers live.
The band had taken a short hiatus to let the fire die out from Bucky’s scandal. It was probably a smart move - to let people cool their jets and forget. It was last reported Bucky had turned a new leaf...something about getting help. Steve took time off to focus on other projects...something about humanitarian work. Sam released some solo stuff...something with a different sound, but still as successful. The time off was probably the best for the guys.
There weren’t as many people it seemed, but enough for them to play in one of the city’s largest venues. You suppose that’s what a span of three years could do to an artist. When the tour was announced you weren’t sure if you should buy a ticket or not, but it’d been some time since you had a night where you could forget about the stresses of the world for a few hours. Never mind the short stint between you and Bucky, you were still a fan of their music and the joyous feeling you got from it was timeless.
This time you were alone. You didn’t even tell your friend they were touring again. Bucky was almost a nonexistent topic for a good while now. Plus, she had her own life to live and couldn’t always be there next to you. You were the bigger fan after all. On top of that, she would’ve most likely have advised against you attending.
Your attire was not to impress, electing on something casual and comfortable with a simple pair of jeans, a leather jacket over a nice top that did a better job at controlling your cleavage than the last one, and cute boots. Yeah, a lot had changed, but the scene didn’t as there were still a mix of fans, old and new, over and under dressed.
The guys still had it. They looked great! They definitely belonged on the stage for the world to see. They even played a 3-song encore. You could tell they loved doing what they did and anyone who was a fan could feel the passion and energy they poured out in the performance.
You’re currently sitting in the seat of your car, head resting against the headrest as you try to unwind a little from standing for a few hours and from the walk back to the parking garage when your phone vibrates and chimes loudly.  
You glance over at the device you placed next to the driving console and your eyebrows scrunch in confusion at the name that appeared. Bucky Barnes. You’d never deleted his number and his text message thread had remained at the very bottom of your messaging app all this time. A sense of apprehension flows through you as you wonder what he could possibly want. How do you just text someone after ghosting them for over a year? Not to mention to someone you did something so intimate with and made all those promises to in the past. How does one do that?
Not wanting to dwell on it any longer or slip into restless thoughts about Bucky again because it wasn’t a walk in the park to forget about him, you open the text. It asks if you were in attendance because he claimed to have seen you in the crowd. This time around you’re not overthinking about what to respond with, you simply say yes. He’d been quick with his next message asking if you were still in the area to meet up.
The wise thing would probably be to reject the invite, but you find yourself once again staring at a hotel door waiting for him to open it. Initially, you’d suggested he tell you what he wanted to say via text, but he said it was something that had to be told in person. So, having been through what you had as a result of meeting up with him in the past, you had some sense of mind this time, you’d just have to make another mental note to not jump into bed with him again. If you were being truthful to yourself, the sex tape left you feeling a little cheap. He didn’t even send it to you as some form of fucked up courtesy or assure you that it wasn’t ever going to get leaked and luckily it hasn’t. You hoped he’d deleted it.
It was almost like Deja vu. You might as well have been reliving the night the first time Bucky invited you over to his hotel room. In the beginning it was kind of awkward and quiet, and it was exactly that years later, just with added history of course.
You’d chosen to sit on the end of one of the beds while Bucky moved slowly around the room trying to gather his thoughts and where to start. He notices the change in you. You were more confident and as you should be. Bucky Barnes couldn’t intimidate you this time. He had more to be embarrassed about than you did now.
Even though you had nowhere to be in the morning, it was getting late and you really would just like to get this meeting over with and Bucky was stalling.
“Bucky, why did you invite me here?” You say, the one to break the ice. He finally stops fidgeting around and focuses on you.
“I...I wanted to apologize,” he starts off, and you’re unmoving silence allows him to continue, “I realize how much of a complete dick I was to you…”
“What do you mean?” You ask. It’s not like he spread any dirty rumors about you or anything. He didn’t need to apologize for anything that you’re aware of. Maybe for leading you on, but you came to terms some time ago that maybe he didn’t owe you an explanation or perhaps you’d never get one. Yet here you both are.
“I used you,” he explains, now you’re confused, and he can see you’re not getting it entirely, which pains him. You didn’t think anything he did with you was wrong because you consented to it. It took two to tango, right?
Except it wasn’t like that at all and he wanted you to know how he strung you along all just for a quick fuck in the beginning and to cover his tracks he acted like he cared in getting to know you afterwards not realizing something purely good could come out of it for him. The confession wasn’t meant to hurt you again, but for you to realize your worth. He messed up with someone so special.
“I wasn’t lying when I said I remembered you from years before when you tripped in front of me,” there’s a small trace of happiness in the fond memory, “...and when I saw you in the crowd that night, fuck you looked so good and you still do…” he ended up a flustered mess after that small admission.
“Where is this going?” You ask hoping he’d get back on track and reveal the rest, trying to keep the fact he admitted an attraction to you in the back of your mind.
“Right...I’ll admit my ego got the best of me. The band was doing so well, everyone noticed us! I was getting attention from all kinds of people! I got hooked to different things,” suppose those articles were true then about him getting clean, you thought to yourself, “...it does get lonely on the road and I was so desperate for anyone,” oh you hoped and prayed he wouldn’t say what he was going to say next, but he does, “...and I knew there wouldn’t be that much effort on my part to get you to sleep with me.”
Great. Your friend was right then, and he was just like any other house name artist.
“Um...okay, that’s not something I was wanting to hear about myself,” you said after letting that sink in. Did you still appear to look easy?
“No, I’m sure it’s not, but when we were alone together everything was just easy-”
“Yeah, I got that. I’m easy!” You interrupt, and now you’re angry. As he’s trying to explain his actions, you started thinking about how mad and hurt you were when he started ghosting you. You couldn’t be upset about him getting a girlfriend, but the fact that he didn’t think he could continue even being your friend and instead just chose to ignore you was the better option was hella annoying.
“That’s not what I meant!” He says trying to justify his choice of words.
“Then how did you mean it?” You demand, and Bucky is a bit stunned with your new attitude. He foresaw that he would have a difficult time in explaining himself, but he didn’t think it’d be this hard dealing with how much his actions affected you.
“Everything was easy with you because you made it easy to feel,”
“I don’t know if I understand,” you say and attempt to get up, “...maybe this was a bad idea.”
“No, please. Let me finish,” Bucky is quick to get in front of you as he pleads for you to stay. You give him a slight nod and sit back down.
“Things with you were easy in a sense that being around you I was able to just be myself. I’ve never said those things to girls before you! I didn’t have to impress you with anything flashy. I even forgot I was some rockstar! You’re an incredible person, really-”
“I’m sorry, Bucky, but I just can’t,” you say, hating to interrupt him again, but you’re not ready to hear any of this, “...none of this still doesn’t sound right. It was just one night and then how do you explain just ghosting me the moment you get a supermodel girlfriend?” that last part came out unintentionally feisty but might as well let him know how you’d felt, “You couldn’t even be my friend when you were with her! I guess it was easy to just forget me too…”
Bucky lowers his head ashamed of how he handled that and just nods in acknowledgement of his actions, “you’re right. It doesn’t make sense, but what I feel is even harder to explain...”
“None of this accounts for her,” you demand. A part of you just wanted to know where she came from. How did it happen? Who asked who out? It wasn’t important information to know about, but the urge of human curiosity was large.
“She wasn’t even my idea,” he muttered, not really wanting to talk about her.
“What?” You ask.
“Getting with her was the label’s idea,” he admits, hating he was coerced into the idea of an on-screen relationship.
You scoff at the stupidity of fake relationships in the Entertainment industry. Why did people get their rocks off over it? Were OTPs really that a big deal? Are people so bored with their own lives that they have to push corporate into bringing two people who don't have feelings for each other together? However, Bucky thinks you don’t believe him and given how little you developed in trusting him with things, he’s not entirely wrong.
“I know it was a dumb thing to agree to and it’s one of the horrors working in this business, but I know now I should’ve just been forward with you,” Bucky says, voice still riddled begging for forgiveness.
“Why couldn’t you then?” You interrogate and notice the creases of distress on his face soften. “If I made it so easy to feel, then why wasn’t it just that to tell me the truth?”
“I-I don’t know,” he replies.
“Yes, you do,” you retort, and pretend you’re going to leave, but by doing so you know it’ll only get him to spill the beans quicker.
“I was scared!” He admits, stepping in front of you and keeping you still in your place on the end of the bed.
“Scared? Of what? Me?” You ask incredulously looking up at him.
“Yes!” He says and kneels down in front of you. “You’re so perfect! You’re real! You don’t treat me like I’m some celebrity. You didn’t even participate when people started cancelling me or whatever! You could’ve and you had every right to expose me, but you didn’t!” Your act did the trick, because the words just kept coming out of Bucky.
“I’m so sorry for ignoring you, for not telling you I was with her, but the more I got to know you, a part of me got really scared that I couldn’t keep being the kind of man you deserved because of my problems,” by this point, Bucky has placed both his hands on either side of you, his arms trapping you, “...trust me, I had a lot of time to think about everything I did wrong and what harm my reckless lifestyle has on others…I just feared it was already too late, but the one thing that I always thought about that helped me get through it was the lone night I had with you. I was so happy! I wanted that again...I had to get back to that, so I invited you back to try,” you didn’t even realize how close his face was to yours. He looked so torn and you hated seeing him like that, but there was nothing you could say that could fix things right now.
Bucky now felt vulnerable and almost pathetic. Just because he wanted another shot of happiness, and with you of all people, what made it okay for him to think you wanted to try again? You weren’t so certain of what you wanted with him anymore.
“Wow,” is all you give. You’re not sure what more you could add. After all that, he actually liked you? Were you still sure you weren’t living in some fanfic world? You needed some time to think about that and much to Bucky’s expectations, you weren’t going to come to a conclusion before you left this room tonight.
“Is there anything else you want to say?” You offer him the floor, and he gets it. You’re not going to say anything particular to his confession, at least not now. He’s not upset at all. It was a lot to take in. He had time to think, and he had to respect the time you’d need now.
He nods and backs away, realizing the close proximity, “just one question,” you nod this time and let him ask, “do you regret it?”
You know what he’s referring to, sleeping with him, the sex tape, the countless conversations, meeting with him right now - everything.
“No,” you answer honestly.
He lets out a weak smile, looking down sheepishly and adds, “I’ve never done anything like this with anyone before, I promise.”
He could promise and swear up and down all he’d like, but how could you be really sure? The only response you could give him is a small, neutral hum in acknowledgement.
Bucky knew this conversation wasn’t going to go as he had hoped. He really didn’t have a plan, he just really wanted to see you again. He goes silent and you know at this point, everything was all laid out. Time would tell the rest if this was worth saving.
“I can forgive you. I know I can because in a way part of moving on allows one to do so but completing a session or doing time in rehab doesn’t really prove anything,” you said brutally honest with him, he looks up at you almost defeated and just waiting for the final blow.
“You said a lot of promising things back then and you said a lot more tonight,” you add on, and gently begin to remove his hands from the spots either side of you to let you free, and get up to head out, however not with one more thing he could reflect on, also giving him hope, “...you need to show you’ve really changed,” then the conversation was over.
In some ways, these events needed to happen. He had to hit rock bottom to learn from his mistakes and kick out the bad habit. He knew now that he had to work hard to give you a reason to trust him and maybe even in the long run be with him.
On the other hand, you had to go through this whole thing in order to not base your happiness on someone else. You could be happy on your own and open enough to be with someone that wasn’t Bucky. 
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For the next few months, to your surprise, Bucky had actually made an effort to keep in touch with you. It wasn’t overbearing and he minded your space as well as he could from a distance, given that he was still busy with the band and other duties that came with his status.
While at times he could be flirty, you learned it was part of his charm. Your friend wasn’t entirely thrilled when you’d admitted to her that you visited Bucky that night. You might’ve not shown it, but she knew how much his past actions affected you. Granted it did its job in teaching you a lesson and in return allowed you to be more confident and to not take anyone’s bullshit, she’d be damned if Bucky tried to pull another act like that around you again.
By now, you were comfortable enough with him to even tell him about random dates you’d gone on; none proving to be long-term, but it was nice to confide in someone else other than your best friend and get an opinion from a male perspective.
You weren’t going to lie, there was a part of you that still liked Bucky more than a friend, but you weren’t sure when it was okay to willingly go all in again with him. Sure, you’d given him another chance, but just how low could people really go to get what they wanted? Some people could just be really manipulative, and you weren’t wanting to ruin what you’ve both rebuilt for yourselves. Either way, you’d be happy with him in your life even as a friend, which is how it could’ve gone if he’d been honest from the get-go.
The year was coming to a close and you’re at your job’s annual Christmas party. You’d managed to convince your friend to be your plus one, but she claimed she didn’t need bribery because your company always ordered outstanding catering and who in their right mind would turn down free food anyways?
Aside from pretending you were having a great time talking to your co-workers, most of which whom you barely spoke to at the office and as faux-friendly as they were tonight, you felt stupid for glancing at your phone every now and then hoping to get a message from Bucky. He’d been keeping you entertained the first half of the party until he just stopped responding.
Your friend had ditched you to take advantage of the open bar several minutes ago, so you were sitting at a table alone trying not to look pathetic. You started thinking of when an appropriate time would be to leave when the Market Manager of your job took the mic. Too late, you thought to yourself and decided to get comfortable in your seat and listened to what cheesy Holiday speech they had to give, but what you hadn’t expected was a surprise guest.  
“What the hell?” You said to yourself as you watched Bucky, Steve and Sam shake hands with one of your bosses before settling into what would appear as an acoustic performance.
How’d they manage to get in contact with your job? Who gave them the in? Bucky knew what you did for a living, but you never stayed on that subject long enough to think much about it. Then your friend slides into the empty seat next to you, a drink in one hand and a knowingly smirk on her lips, one that suggests she was definitely in on this act. You didn’t realize how long you’d been staring at her with a stupid look of disbelief all over your face until your name is echoed throughout the speakers.
It snaps you out of your trance and you focus your attention to Bucky on stage, a huge smile on his face. All formalities set aside, he highlights you and your friendship before jumping into their new single, which was widely popular right now. Normally, you weren’t one to take compliments easily, not used to so much attention, but the whole world disappeared with Bucky.
Once their little set was over, the majority of your colleagues enjoyed the performance and asked for photos, to which the guys were more than happy to appease to. Your friend had managed to escape your clutches once more, this time abandoning you for the dessert table. You’re not alone for long as Bucky occupies the seat left open next to you. You look around your surroundings, hoping there aren’t any more surprises in store, and practically attack him with a big hug.
Bucky’s chuckle is muffled, his face buried in your hair, as he wraps his arms around you to return the gesture. When you pull away, you’re almost left speechless, but you’re dying to know how he managed to get here. He was technically still on tour and this was not one of the passing by cities.
“How?” You ask.
“Hi to you too,” he said with a cheeky grin, to which you playfully slap his arm, and he responds with your friend’s name. He explained how he’d wanted to see you and how much he had to grovel for your friend to trust him. She’d helped him arrange a meeting with your boss, who turned out to be a huge fan of The Avengers, and even sneak them inside the building all under your nose. She wasn’t easy to persuade, but if she was convinced enough to work with Bucky on anything then you knew this meant something more.  
The initial notion of wanting to leave the party immediately vanished and you wanted nothing more than to just sit there in Bucky’s company all night. Steve and Sam greeted you and you never realized that this was actually the first time meeting them formally and not outside of a venue. They weren’t rockstars to you any more than you were just a fan to them. They were Bucky’s friends, of course he’d confined to them on his end as much as you did with yours.
At some point they had excused themselves to catch the last flight headed back to Brooklyn, but Bucky had decided to stay longer. When it was time to leave, you found out Bucky hadn’t planned long enough to where he would stay the night in your city. The original plan was to fly back home with the guys and pick up on the remainder of the tour. They had a few days off, but it was just a few days shy of ending, and he couldn’t wait that long to see you.
It’s funny how life works because this time you’re the one inviting him to your place. You weren’t going to blame it on the open bar or how late it was or the underlying tension that was surrounding you two, but one thing was certain, it was mutual, and you both weren’t going to deny the attraction any longer.
You’d missed the weight of Bucky’s body on yours more than you’d realized as your hands held his face, keeping his lips attached to yours. You could taste the remnants of the unfinished drink he’d abandoned at the coffee table on his tongue. Bucky’s hands hiked your leg over his waist to get you to lie flat on your couch.
You’re the first to attempt to remove clothing by popping open the buttons of his button-up shirt before completely ridding of the item leaving him in his thin undershirt. You feel his hands slide up from your hips along your back as they dig into the minimal space the arch of your back had created for him to slowly unzip the back of your dress. With your lips both still attached, you manage to sit up, your dress falling down and bunching at the waist in the process, exposing your breasts. He couldn’t have picked a more perfect time to see you in an outfit that would not work with a bra.
Bucky curses breathlessly when he pulls his lips away from yours for a quick breather, but in the process, he takes a peek at your half naked body. You can tell he’s just itching to touch you and you take the commanding lead and place his hands on you. The atmosphere grows thicker, him kneading your breasts, you smash your lips on his in a sloppy lock.
You push Bucky down on his end of the couch and manage to kick your loose dress all the way down your legs and off your body. Bucky’s hands travel down to the curve of your ass before he grabs a handful of flesh, causing you to moan into the kiss. Your hands rake through his styled hair, the product he used unstiffening and his hair falls limp in your grasps.
Bucky’s hands started to aid your hips in moving roughly against his clothed member, desperate to relieve some friction, and you internally blushed remembering how thick he was, how full it felt to have his cock stuffed inside of you. You didn’t remain celibate during the hiatus of your relationship, you both had urges, but Bucky had really ruined others that came after him.
Your lips drifted down Bucky’s body, kissing at the skin of his chest in the pattern following the swoop-line seam of the undershirt that he was still wearing. You skipped the expanse of his toned stomach, until you’re met with the small amount of skin that peeked between his bottoms and hem of his undershirt. You slightly lift the material up and place small pecks at his lower abdomen, which causes a low groan to rumble in Bucky’s throat.
Your fingers deftly unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants, with the zipper pulled apart, you’re marveling at the imprint of his hard cock, already twitching and staining his boxers. You manage to break your gaze and look up at Bucky, who is desperately pleading with you to proceed. Your eyes never leave his as you lower your head closer to his member, tongue darting out to the dark spot of his boxers, tasting the precum.
The contact causes him to squirm and lips form in a tight line. You pull down his pants and agonizingly peel off his boxers slowly, dragging it down to his thighs, just enough to expose him enough for you to work with before you wrap a hand around his length. Bucky’s upper body is supported by his bent elbows so he could watch you.
You kiss the tip of his leaking cock, a small string of his precum sticking to your lips when you pull back, to which you run your tongue over. Bucky’s head falls back just in time when your lips enclose the head, tongue twirling around the ridge and teasingly at the slit and loving the sound of his breath getting caught in his throat. You inch your mouth down his length and your vacant hand gets quick to work on what you’re not able to intake while the other runs up his exposed abdomen, your fingers curling in and lightly scratching down as it runs down to massage one of his thighs. You can feel the muscle in his thigh flex at your touch the more your head bobs up and down on him.  
A plethora of curses spew from his mouth, but the rush of sucking his cock, the gurgling of your spit mixed with his precum and occasional choking noise when your throat contracts around him, is all you can hear from your perspective. When you part from his member, you’re breathing intensifies, desperate for more air to enter your system, eyes slightly watering, lips swollen, your hand lazily slathering the wetness all over him.
“You’re so good at that,” Bucky comments and he finally manages to pick his head back up to look at you. He reaches forward to swipe at the mess on the corner of your chin, but you’re hungry for more, and you move your head to the side to suck on his thumb, eyes closed as you hum at the taste of his skin and essence.
Your soft tongue running against the pad of his somewhat calloused thumb, it pops lightly when you release the digit, a small, devious smile on your lips as you scoot away to lie on the other end of the couch. He’s almost at aghast by this, but even back then you were just always full of surprises around him and he wasn’t going to deny the appeal of your sexual allure.
Bucky is quick to get to your side, completely riding himself off the rest of his clothes - the undershirt, pants and boxers - he had dressed to impress but right now nothing more than but overdressed. He gently parts your legs, kissing up your calves and thighs, until settles between them, you can feel his warm breath fanning against your scantily covered core.
Unlike last time, you’re not afraid to watch him and he sends you a knowingly wink, quickly ascending up to give you a sweet kiss, while his fingers slip inside your panties and between your lips. Your hips eagerly thrust upwards hoping his fingers slip in.
“Baby, we got all night,” he says cradling your face in his other hand. You let out a small whine, but regardless attempt to be patient. Bucky studies your face, mesmerized by every structure and unique feature, then what felt like an eternity, but in reality, was only a few seconds, he sinks a finger inside your wet pussy.
As soon as the gasp leaves your lips, his lips swoop in and tongue instantly dipping in search of yours. The heated kiss only heightens the sensation in the pit of your stomach, your hips losing control and every buck up into his hand, your clit rubs up against his palm, invigorating it. The curl of his finger, lightly probs at the right spot inside you, you uncontrollably squeal against his lips, with a hand against his chest you gently push his body away from yours.
“Oh my God! Fuck, Bucky…” you say with your head tilting back to the curve of the couch’s arm. You feel Bucky’s lips kiss and suck at your exposed neck as his fingers continue their handy work, the lewd noises causing your eyes to roll back.
His lips find their way next to your ear, gently nipping at it, and you could just drown at the sound of his husky breathing and filthy words. “Can I taste you?” He asks. You’re not sure why he was asking, you’d want nothing less. You nod almost instantaneously before allowing him to remove your panties.  
Bucky’s hungry eyes remain fixated on your glistening core, “oh, I missed this pussy,” he comments before his tongue fondles the lips. He has a hand lying flat against one of your legs, pressed on the couch to keep them spread apart, the other blocked by his body. His routine contrasts his old with how his tongue moves in slow and calculated laps. His mouth was very talented, given whatever style he chose to play.
You’re tethering on an orgasm and Bucky wanted nothing more than to watch you come undone for him. Bucky’s fingers and tongue work in tandem and fast to help you reach a climax.
“You’re close, aren’t you?” Bucky manages to ask in between, eyes peering up at you. You don’t actually answer because you can’t concentrate from the pleasure he’s bestowing and the impending release. “Good. I want you to cum. I want all this pussy has to give,” his voice hitting a different low, even his fucking voice was so sexy. Your hands clutch on fistfuls of the couch cushions when you feel the first wave of pleasure wash over your body, your hips stilled in place as Bucky laps up at your arousal.
“The sweetest thing ever,” Bucky mutters mostly to himself, but hearing that comment only feeds your ego, which never is a bad thing in an intimate setting. Your chest heaves up and down from the impact. Just as Bucky is about to crawl back up to parallel, you stop him with a foot at his chest. He grabs your small foot in his hand and blinks at your resistance.
“Sit back,” you command. He drops your foot and watches as your body maneuvers around to climb over his. He didn’t even realize his body had complied to your demand, absolutely hypnotized by you.
You lean in for a deep kiss, one that leaves his brain a mush, yours too almost that you have to steady yourself with one hand on the couch armrest. You reach a hand down between your bodies and grab a hold of his hard cock. Your fingers tracing along the vein before you start rubbing his head through your sensitive, wet folds. Bucky’s hands lay lightly on your hips, trying with all his might to not force you to take him all the way in. A large part of him liked this dominant side of you. There was so much about you he was dying to unearth.
“Baby, please…” he begins pleading as you barely press the tip of his cock just at your entrance before you slowly lower your body down to engulf his entire length. You sit still once you’re sure you’ve bottomed out, not noticing Bucky’s fingers digging into your hips, sure enough to leave crescent marks and tiny bruises.
Bucky’s face is buried in your neck, your cheek pressed against the top of his head, lost in the mop of dark hair. You feel his cock twitch inside of you causing your hips to ground on his. He was in so deep, you weren’t sure how long you were going to last in this position, but you’d be damned if you denied it.
You start with slow swivels before sliding back and forth on his cock. Bucky’s hands released their death grip from your hips, one travelled to the front to grope at your breasts while the other supported your body settling itself on the small of your back. Your hands set themselves on the back of the couch on either side of his head, using it as leverage to ground down harder on him.
“Mm, I missed fucking this big cock,” you lean down to whisper right in his ear, “you’re so deep, Bucky.”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he spits out curse after curse at your dirty words. “You gonna cum on this big cock, hmm?” He asks. The question comes as a challenge and you weren’t ready to give up the ropes to him.
“Yeah, is this big cock gonna cum inside this tight pussy?” You counter the question, speeding up your gyrations until you start to feel the burn in your thighs and stomach begin to twist. He lets out a low, long growl, his eyes lulling shut and head falling back against the couch, ready to succumb to euphoria.
“No,” you say, suddenly ceasing all movements to pull at his hair. The sharp pain in his scalp causes his eyes to snap open and look up at you. “Keep your eyes on me,” you command much like how he did with you the first time. You watch him swallow the knot in his throat and give him a wicked smile before picking back up where you left off.
Your hands are sprawled on his sweaty chest as you bounce up and down his length. Bucky’s senses are on overdrive, the way your pussy naturally hugs his cock, walls squeezing occasionally, your breasts swaying right in front of him, your skin shining from the layer of sweat coating your body, and the look of immense pleasure written all over your face because of him.
“Baby, I’m gonna cum,” he says over and over as some form of warning, hoping you’re not far behind.
The way his face contorted in ecstasy, lips parted, sweat building up on his forehead, the tip of his cock stabbing at your sweet spot, you were about to cum too. His words become a muffled mess when you attempt to silence him with a bruising kiss just as you reach your high, pussy clenching tight around his cock milking him of everything he’s got. Each spurt of his hot cum that shoots inside you causes your hips to stutter in response. Bucky attempts to keep them at bay with a hand pressed against your back, keeping your body close to him and in the process also instilling his seed is rooted deep inside of you.
“God...damn,” Bucky says short of breath when your body lies limp against his. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, you haven’t attempted to move just yet as you both sat there with his cock still buried in. When you manage to sit up, you stare back at Bucky with tired eyes, but there’s a smile on both your faces. It only slightly falters at his next words.
“I love you,” he says earnestly. Thankfully your silence doesn’t bother him, “...you don’t have to say it back,” he adds, “I just wanted you to know. You’re so special,” he proclaims and your heart leaps at the very admission. You only nod for now but give him another reassuring smile because in time you knew you could allow yourself to love Bucky and be loved by him in return. It wasn’t a conventional meeting, but this was your life, not everyone else's.
When you finally manage to pull yourself off his cock, it slips out fluidly with a trail of his cum following in suit. You knew you’d curse yourself later on, but you’re both too tired to clean the mess right now. The pair of you settle into a lying position, facing one another, encased in each other’s arms. It’s a moment of bliss as you both just lie there, his eyes closed and a smile seemingly permanently etched on his face, only around you.  
“Hey Bucky,” you pipe up breaking the silence. He hums in response, “I want to know something...” you start out with.
“Anything,” he says, eyes still closed, his hand running up and down your arm, an indicator that he’s present and listening.
“What happened between you two?” Curiosity getting the best of you once more, you’re hoping this doesn’t ruin the moment, but you had to know. What went wrong? Besides, if this was going to work, he was going to have to be honest.
“Uh, she saw something on my phone…” he said cautiously, “...that involved you.” Your eyes widen at that. It couldn’t have been the sex tape you hoped.
“Bucky, no!” You gasp, sitting up and just hoping he doesn’t confirm it.
“Relax!” He says pulling you back down with him, “She was psycho. She went through my texts and saw some of the photos we used to send to each other. She must’ve thought they were recent.” He explains like it was no big deal.
Your heart stops racing slightly, you’re a bit relieved that she didn’t go as far as posting any of the photos on the Internet. You knew you were risking it by sexting with Bucky, but what was that saying? Hell hath no fury…and in a blind rage, she lashed out only on Bucky, but if she was a psycho, who knows what else she might’ve found on Bucky’s phone.
“Bucky?” you figure you might as well know now.
“Yeah…”
“What did you do with that sex tape?” You’d been dying to know if it was safely stored away or if maybe he even still watched it or just deleted it.
A big toothy grin spreads across his lips, his pearly whites on full display as he laughs at the question before he reaches over to the table next to the couch, where his cell phone rested on.
“Want to make a sequel?” He asks suggestively with a smirk on his lips and waving his phone at you, to which you playfully attempt to snatch from his grasp. He’s too quick, but nonetheless he replaces the phone in its original spot before focusing his attention on you alone.
“You don’t think this is all weird?” He questions almost hesitantly while tracing the outline of your jaw delicately. You’re not thinking that at all. You’d both been through a lot during the last few years that the only thing that was normal now was what you both had.
You shake your head in response, too tired for words, and drowning in the blissful moment. Bucky nods before declaring, “good because you make so happy,” then ending the night with sweet kisses. 
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“Hey, it’s me. I know you’re busy at the studio today...” you start, cell phone pressed against your ear. You’re attempting to leave a voicemail to your boyfriend, who was expecting your arrival later that day, “...but I just wanted to assure you that this isn’t weird, and I can’t wait to see you...I love you, Bucky,” you finish up the message and stuff the device into your bag just in time to hear the voice of the airline staff making the pre-boarding announcements booming loudly from the speakers.  
Now boarding Group B for flight #107 to JFK Airport...final destination Brooklyn, New York.
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A/N: We’ve been in quarantine for so long, I don’t remember how airport announcements are like anymore and I was only in Brooklyn last Spring…RIP to the good times.
A happy ending was weird to write in the end and I actually don’t like this particular Bucky so it could’ve gone really bad, but I said to myself, no, not this time, I can do what the title says and let them be just that - happy. I too can be happy if you give this a like, reblog or comment! Thanks for reading!  
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latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years ago
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𝑂𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑈𝑝𝑜𝑛 𝐴𝑛 𝑈𝑠 (𝐽𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑢𝑛ℎ𝑜) 𝑅𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑
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𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: 𝐶𝐸𝑂! 𝐽𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑢𝑛ℎ𝑜 (𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧)/𝐸𝑥𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝐷𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟! 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 (𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒)
𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: 𝐹𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓, 𝐴𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡, 𝑆𝑚𝑢𝑡, 𝑁𝑜𝑛! 𝐼𝑑𝑜𝑙 𝐴𝑈
𝑆𝑦𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠: 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝐽𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑢𝑛ℎ𝑜 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑠𝑢𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝐶𝐸𝑂 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑑. 𝐻𝑒'𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 𝑝ℎ𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒........𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑜'𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑟 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑦.
𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝐶𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡:6K
𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: 𝑀𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑝 𝑐𝑙𝑢𝑏𝑠/𝑒𝑥𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑠, 𝑙𝑎𝑝 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑑𝑟𝑦 ℎ𝑢𝑚𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 (𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑒, 𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑜𝑟 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑦), 𝑎𝑠𝑝ℎ𝑦𝑥𝑖𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑘, 𝑠𝑖𝑧𝑒 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑘, 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑝𝑖𝑒, 𝑢𝑛𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑥 (𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛).
✧═══════•❁❀❁•═══════✧
"In behalf of all of us present here, I'd like to congratulate our dear friend Yunho on finally settling down, on finding someone who truly makes him happy and promising to spend the rest of his life with her."
Lifting the glass cup up, Seonghwa finished with a loud:
"To Yunho and his lovely bride."
The rest of the groomsmen let out a bunch of hollers and whistling, signaling their approval of the speech given by the oldest male.
Yunho couldn't keep the happy grin off his face.
"Thanks so much guys. It really means a lot to me that you guys would do this for me."
"What kind of friends would we be if we weren't happy for you?" Hongjoong nudged him gently.
"And what kind of groomsmen would we be if we didn't throw you a super cool and totally expensive bachelor party." Wooyoung clinked glasses with San, both giving each other a not so subtle look that they were up to something.
The rest decided to ignore them, figuring they were just messing around like they usually did. They began to talk about their own married lives, funny stories that happened to them while they were on the honeymoon, their first fights as couples, and how they tended to deal with their in laws. Seonghwa was also more than happy to talk about how his wife and him were already trying for a baby, which came to no surprise to the others, considering how much he adored kids. The two single men though, were quickly becoming bored with the subject, either rolling their eyes at them or just downing more shots just to kill time.
"Ok! If you pansies are done, I think it's time to bring out the real entertainment." San got up and went over to the door.
Yunho tensed up noticeably.
"San.....remember I said no strippers or anything like that."
"Oh lighten up Yunho! It'll only be one night! One night before you're forever tied down to 1 woman! 1!" Wooyoung argued.
"Unsurprised you'd be in on this sort of shenanigans as well." Yeosang rolled his eyes at him.
"Ok so can I open the door and let the fine ladies on?" San tapped his foot impatiently.
Yunho lowered himself on his seat.
"I p-promised Jieun...."
"Have a little respect you assholes." Hongjoong piped up, sensing how uncomfortable his friend was getting.
"Ok fine! I'll tell you what."
Going over to him, San made Yunho get up and pointed him towards another door at the end of the hallway.
"See that room there? Why don't you be a good little obedient puppy to your new master and watch tv or something while we enjoy ourselves here. Does that sound like a plan?" San asked him with a totally innocent smile.
"Ok!" Yunho didn't even hesitate to get out of the situation, already walking away as rapidly as he could.
"I wanna go too-"
"No you don't!" Wooyoung grabbed Yeosang, nearly choke holding him, the poor man struggling to breathe.
The rest of the boys watched as Yunho left, oblivious to what was happening behind him. It was Seonghwa who knew something was up.
"What did you do?" He questioned them, eyeing them suspiciously.
San and Wooyoung released a series of laughs that only made the rest of them worry.
"Let's just say Yunho might just have the best time of his life if he'd let loose a little." San hinted.
The other boys looked at them in disbelief.
"You didn't." Mingi's mouth dropped.
"Ok, that's low even for you two. I'm going over there and getting him out if it."
Hongjoong was stopped in his tracks by San.
"Listen, Yunho is old enough to decide for himself. If he's really uncomfortable, he'll leave as soon as the girl gets there. If not....well....he's one lucky guy." He snorted.
Wooyoung shook his head.
"I'm still mad at you for letting him have her. I wanted her!"
"It was only fair he got the best one don't you think? This is his party." San explained.
"Who? Who exactly did you get for him?"
✧═══════•❁❀❁•═══════✧
Yunho shifted awkwardly in the dimly lit room. He could hardly make out any of the furniture surrounding him, which resulted in him tripping or hitting his thigh or hip on the corner of somethings.
"Light light. Where's the light?" He tried feeling around, hoping to find something somewhere.
Instead, the room itself lit up a light lavender color, slow and sensual music playing in the background. Yunho froze as he realized what he just walked into.
"Fuck you San." He ran his hand down his face, already getting nervous at whatever was going to happen now.
Soon enough, he heard the door behind him open. The clatter of heels resonated in the room. Still not turning around, Yunho nervously said:
"Listen, th-this was all a misunderstanding....so if-if you could please just go back, I'd really appreciate it."
The footsteps halted themselves, and all was silent for a moment, until the figure started walking once again, this time emanating a subtle giggle.
"A little shy aren't we? Don't worry honey. I'll make sure to ease your mind."
Yunho could hear them approaching him even more.
"N-no! That's ok! I don't- I mean! I have a fiancee." He blurted out.
The person now stood right behind him and Yunho felt a shudder down his body, as well as an overly familiar thrill when they rested their hand on his shoulder.
"Yeah I know. A lot of soon to be married men always say that........ don't worry."
Leaning in, they whispered in his ear:
"It'll be our little secret."
Delicate hands wrapped themselves around his waist. Yunho pried their hands off and began turning.
"No! Seriously I don't-"
Yunho cut himself off when he stared at the person standing right in front of him, who was equally shocked to see him.
"Y/N?"
"Yunho?"
They both stared in disbelief at each other, both wondering if it was their imagination or if this was reality. Yunho was extremely stunned. Here right in front of him, was none other than his very first love, looking at him with the same angelic eyes that he had fallen madly in love with years ago. His eyes couldn't help but start trailing down, scanning down every inch of her body. He blushed as he took in her attire: an ivory white lingerie set with glittery silver adornments meticulously stitched into it. It consisted of a push up bra that made her cleavage look more rounded, a corset that highlighted her waist and made her hips look wider, lace cheeky panties made specifically to show off just enough of her ass, and long thigh high stockings that had an intricate lace trimming with 2 bows at the center.
Yunho gulped slowly as he took all of her in. Her glamorous body dressed so provocatively as well as memories of the past, memories that were not so pure, memories of their bodies intertwined together, all were becoming too much for him and he felt himself start to grow a little problem in his pants. Y/N on the other hand noticed how he was staring at her and she started to become a little self-conscious. She wrapped her arms across her chest in a protective manner.
"Well isn't this suddenly awkward." She was the first to speak up.
"Huh? Oh right!" Yunho snapped out of his trance, now looking at anywhere but her, hoping not to think about her in that way anymore.
The silence from before returned once again, only the music playing to keep it from being totally mute. Yunho scratched the back of his head, trying to think of what to say.
"It's nice to see you.....it's been so long." He started.
"Y-yeah it has been. A couple of years." She continued.
"6 actually." Yunho surprised himself that he remembered that fact.
Y/N let out a small 'oh' at that, nodding at nothing in particular.
"So uh.......is this what you do now?" He questioned her, curious to know why she'd even be in such a position in the first place.
"Ummm....yeah..." She answered rather embarrassed.
Yunho decided not to further that topic anymore, it was obvious she didn't want to talk about it.
"Still at your dad's company?"
Yunho was surprised and touched she even remembered that.
"Oh yeah....I actually took over 2 years ago." He smiled proudly.
"Oh really? That's great. I'm sure your family must be proud." She congratulated him.
She swayed back and forth awkwardly, wanting to ask another questions but afraid of his response.
"So......you're getting married?" She finally asked.
Yunho looked confused for a second, then he realized what she meant.
"Ummm.....yeah....I am."
"Well then congratulations. She really is a lucky girl." She forced a smile on her features.
"Oh I wouldn't say that......you know she's just really nice....and she's like that... and yeah..." at this point Yunho was just rambling on, he himself not even sure of what he was talking about.
Y/N sighed softly.
"Ok I have to know. If you're getting married, what are you doing in a place like this? You were always more on the....conservative side of things." She had to know.
Yunho now covered his face with his large hands.
"I don't know. I swear there were supposed to be no wild or crazy antics at this bachelor party, but I got these 2 friends, and they're single and you can figure out the rest." He tried to explain.
"Oh yeah. There's always that couple of friends that just never take things seriously." She chuckled, having seeing that situation too many times.
Yunho groaned slightly.
"Well....I guess this was the easiest gig I've had to do." She decided to lighten up the situation.
"What do you mean?"
She let out a laugh at Yunho's question.
"I mean, I'm practically getting paid to just sit here since obviously you won't want me to do my job." She rolled her eyes.
"No! I mean yes! I mean.....ugh!" Yunho mentally slapped himself.
"Won't you get in trouble?"
She shrugged.
"Considering the fact your friends specifically paid for 'no rules', I really won't."
"Oh...." Yunho breathed out, not realizing he sounded a little too disappointed.
Y/N turned and smirked at him.
"What? Were you expecting me to give you something?" She teased him.
"What?! I- No!" Yunho's red ears was a huge indication of his lie.
Y/N let out a small laugh as she came closer to him, making him back away from her.
"Oh? I think you're lying Yunho. I think you actually want me to give you a little show. Is that what you want?" She wiggled her eyebrows at him.
Yunho stumbled back on the couch, falling into a sitting position as Y/N placed her arms on opposite sides of his body, effectively trapping him. Yunho couldn't help it as he looked back down at her chest and then down her legs. He bit his lip as he imagined them wrapped around his waist, as they had been many times in the past. He looked back up at her face. He knew she was only messing with him, she wouldn't actually do anything to him, especially if he asked her not to. And he really shouldn't allow anything to happen.... but he decided to ignore his gut for the first time in years and not think about the consequences.
Yunho let out a small scoff as he leaned in and challenged her:
"Can you even do anything doll?"
He watched as Y/N momentarily felt dazed at his use of the old pet name he had for her, knowing the impact it had on her.
"I bet you're not even that good." He continued his taunting, wanting to rile her up as much as he could.
It definitely worked as Y/N grabbed his collar and pushed his face against hers.
"I'm actually the best around here baby. Trust me when I say before I'm done, you'll already be cumming inside your pants." She whispered, her lips dangerously close to his, their noses practically touching.
Yunho released a small grunt when she pushed him back in the chair. He watched her as she went over to a keypad on the wall, changing the music to a completely different song. His eyes lingered on her butt cheeks that were poking out of the lace material. His hand twitched, feeling the urge to bend her over his lap and spank them like he used to do when she misbehaved. He watched in fascination as she turned her attention back to him, her face suddenly turning more confident and seductive.
Y/N's body began swaying to the music, every wave of her arms, every roll of her hips and every flirty wink were so mesmerizing and hypnotic to Yunho. He always had a hidden passion for dancing, so this was quite a spectacle for him, especially coming from his dearly beloved ex. An ex that he had cried and yearned for long after he let her go, someone that it took a long time for him to forget and erase completely from his heart.
But now she was here again and she was stirring emotions inside him he had thought he'd gotten over, had buried away. And reactions from his body that he had thought he had under control. But as he watched her crawl over to him, placing herself in between his thighs, he couldn't help but hard as he recalled the last time he had her in that position. He shuddered when she ran her hands across his thighs, her perfectly manicured nails raking over his dress pants. From this angle, he could see an even better view of her breasts that were covered by her bra.
Noticing where his eyes were placed, Y/N's hands swooped up and caressed her torso.
"Oh? Is this what got your attention?"
Yunho's stare went back to her face, now getting shy at the realization that he got caught staring. But Y/N didn't mind. Instead she merely turned around as she began unbuttoning the front part of her corset.
"Want to have a better look?" She turned her head slightly to see his reaction.
Yunho was already whispering out a 'yes' before she even finished her sentence. Satisfied by the answer, she took off the corset and threw it across the room, letting it land on the floor. As she said back up, she made sure to push her ass out when she got back out. Yunho tilted his head back when it came to close to his face that it would have pressed against it had he not moved. Y/N turned around and one by one, her legs sat themselves by Yunho's side, straddling him in the process. Her hands began fiddling with his tie, loosening it up.
"This what you wanted to see?" She cooed as she rose her chest up, almost brushing them against his chin.
"Fuck yes.."
Without thinking, Yunho's large hands cupped her ass, kneading the soft skin as he grinded his hips against hers. Y/N let out a small whimper at his touch, the familiarity sending a spark down her body. Yunho couldn't help the smug smile when he began to feel the wet spot that was soaking through her underwear.
"Look at that, the little slut is enjoying this as much as I am."
Slapping her ass, he gripped her hips harshly as he forced her to grind down harder on him. Y/N moaned as she felt his huge bulge pressing up against her drenched core, and threw her head back when Yunho's lips began attacking her neck, nearly startling her.
"Let's see who cums first."
Yunho's mouth sucked and bit down expertly at all her sensitive spots, remembering perfectly well how to push her closer to the edge. He felt a sense of pride and satisfaction when he heard her moans and whimpers grow louder. Even after years, he could still get her riled up. And that fact kind of bothered Y/N which prompted her to push Yunho down on the couch and hold his arms in place as she decided to take control of the movements of their hips.
Yunho hissed softly as he looked at her with fire in his eyes.
"Don't try to take control doll. You know how that will end for you."
Knowing how to break him, she simply laughed mockingly at him and rolled her eyes. Yanking his hands off her grip rather easily, Yunho flipped their positions so he was hovering above her, his mouth clashing with hers in a heated and sloppy kiss. He wasted no time in slipping his hand inside her now ruined underwear, his thumb circling around her clit in harsh motions.
"Why must you be such a brat?" He asked in between their heated makeout session.
Chuckling softly, her hand undid his belt and zipper, pulling it down enough to let her palm him through his briefs before pulling those down as well, letting his cock spring free so she could stroke him, eliciting the most sinful moans from him.
Both of them pulled away to look into each other's eyes, determined to make the other break first, but it was so hard when they were both lost in their lust, reminiscing about the familiarity of their movements and fantasizing about taking it further. The grinding of their hips and their mutual pleasuring of each other had them both coming in seconds at the same time. They let out a sputter of curses and chants of each other's names as they covered their hands with the other's cum, a telltale sign of what had just taken place in that room.
They both layed still for a few minutes, trying to catch their breath and calm down from the high they just had. It was Yunho who composed himself first as he realized what he had just done and how serious it was.
"Oh my god!" He cursed himself as he quickly got up and began fixing himself.
"Yunho? Are you-"
"Please don't! Let's just pretend this didn't happen! I can't believe I-....... I'm so sorry."
Without another glance or word, he ran out the door, ignoring the worried looks of his other companions who were still in the other room and leaving Y/N alone, feeling just as confused, guilty and ashamed just like him.
✧═══════•❁❀❁•═══════✧
"Yunho."
Mingi nudged him once again, waking him up from his thoughts.
"Uh..sorry what?" He shifted his focus back on his friend.
"I was telling you that the hotel sent your confirmation number." He repeated himself.
"Hotel? Hotel for what?"
Mingi widened his eyes. Sure his friend had been really zoned out all day, but to not even remember what he was there for.
"Your wedding? Yunho, you're getting married?" He reminded him.
"Oh...yeah..." Yunho looked down, staring at the floor anxiously.
Mingi closed the laptop and turned his body so he could look at Yunho directly.
"Listen, even if something happened on the bachelor party a few days ago, I doubt it was that serious that you're like this." Mingi pointed out.
Yunho looked back up, unsure if he should tell Mingi about it. But then again, no one else but his long time best friend would understand why it had such an impact on him.
"It wasn't so much what happened....it was...with whom it happened...."
Mingi furrowed his eyebrows.
"Who? Who are you talking about?"
Yunho took a deep breath before answering:
"Y/N..."
Mingi nearly fell off his chair when he heard her name again. He actually had to steady himself on the sides of it.
"Y/N? As in........?"
Yunho nodded, knowing full well what Mingi was asking.
"Well fuck man! Holy shit! This is- oh my God! Your ex!" Mingi shook his head, trying to process all the information.
"You know she isn't just an ex Mingi." Yunho admitted rather solemnly.
"I know Yunho. I remember how head over heels you were for her. You two were so much in love, it was actually kind of sickening." Mingi made a face which caused Yunho to chuckle slightly.
Mingi looked at Yunho, noticing how he had a faint smile painted across his face. By the way his eyes were staring off, he knew he was thinking about her.
"Did you....did you feel anything? I mean, while you were with her?" He had to ask.
The slight red tint on Yunho's cheeks was a dead giveaway and Mingi could immediately notice how Yunho's eyes lit up when he mentioned her.
"I felt everything all over again. It was like the first day I bumped into her at the university. Oh you should have seen her Mingi, she looked just as beautiful." Yunho sighed blissfully.
"I mean.....if she was dressed like the other exotic dancers we got, I get why you'd say it." Mingi snickered.
Yunho reached over and slapped his arm.
"That wasn't what I meant you idiot!"
Mingi pouted as he rubbed his now aching arm.
"But still.......being with her in that moment...it was as if nothing changed between us. Like our passion, our relationship...our love never faded. And now.... I can't stop thinking about her..." Yunho confessed.
"Have you kept in contact since that day?" Mingi asked.
Yunho groaned as he banged his head on the table.
"I just ran out without even saying a goodbye."
Mingi rolled his eyes and ran a hand down his face.
"No offense....but once again, history repeats itself."
Yunho suddenly banged the table with his fist, eyes darting to Mingi.
"Do you think I don't know that?! Do you think it doesn't bother me knowing that I left her there, not just at the party? But 6 years ago?! Do you think I haven't been tormented these past days, regretting that I chose to please my parents and abandon her?!"
Yunho got up. His hands flew up to his hair, tugging at them slightly before letting them fall to his sides. He started taking deep breaths to calm down, trying not to get anymore agitated than he already was. Mingi looked at his friend with sorrow and pity. He knew how much Yunho suffered and tortured himself months after he broke up with Y/N, and he also know that deep down, he had never really gotten over her.
Getting up, he went to his friend's side, resting a comforting hand on his back.
"Yunho.....you can't change the past. None of us can.....but you can decide your future, for yourself. Answer yourself: these past years, everything that you've done, was it really for you? Was it because you wanted to?.....or was it because you wanted to please others? Live up to an image you felt burdened to show?......and really ask yourself:
What is it you want now?"
Yunho knew what the answer was for a fleeting moment, but then the answer vanished when he heard the door open and close.
"Baby! I'm home! And I could really use your help!"
The high pitched voice of his fiancee echoed through the room, her tiny legs rushing over with a folder in hand.
"My cue to leave." Mingi patted Yunho on the back, but before he could leave, he whispered in his ear:
"Think about what I said."
Mingi made sure to smile and politely say goodbye to Jieun before he made his way out the door, hoping his friend would come to his senses soon enough.
"So Jieun what's this about?" Yunho asked.
The girl giggled happily as she opened the folder and began displaying an array of different photos.
"Well I was thinking, that we could pick out the new apartment we would want to move in to once we come back from our honeymoon. I mean, this place is great, but I think some change would be benefit us both."
The girl began pointing to all the different options, talking her heart out enthusiastically about the wonders of each place and what she particular loved about it, but it fell upon deaf ears. Yunho was not paying any attention at all, instead he just looked right through all the pictures, his mind going over the words Mingi had made him ponder about.
"Yunho?" Jieun's annoyed voice brought him back.
"Hmm?" He nodded his head to her.
"You're not paying attention to me....again." She huffed rather annoyed.
"I'm sorry....I'm just really tired and stressed out." He excused himself.
"Yeah I know. You've been saying that these past days." She accused him.
"I'm sorry. But I just really am."
She let out an indignant scoff.
"And you think I'm not stressed? For months we've been preparing for this moment, and now that we're literally 2 days away from tying the knot, you're suddenly being cold? What's wrong with you Yunho?"
He couldn't answer her, he didn't have the strength to. He was being a coward at that very moment, he knew that very well.
"Jieun....do you think maybe we should postpone it or-"
"Absolutely not!" She stated firmly, refusing to let him finish the sentence. Lifting a finger, she warned him:
"Listen to me very carefully Jeong Yunho. You asked me to be marry you and I'm not letting you go back on your word. Tomorrow at the rehearsal dinner, you better be on your best behavior and on the day after.....you better be ready to walk down the aisle because I'm not going to let you humiliate me in front of our friends and family."
Putting on a sweet smile as if nothing happened, she tiptoed and pecked his lips.
"Ok love you honey. See you tomorrow!" She waved at him as if nothing was the matter, like she wasn't just angry at him 2 seconds ago.
Yunho paced around the living room, hands in his pocket, his foot occasionally kicking at the air. He let out long sighs every minute or so, head hung low as he thought about what to do now.
"What is it you want now?"
He repeated what Mingi asked him.
Yunho knew what he wanted.....he also knew all the risks he was taking in order to obtain it, for all he knew, he might not even get it at the end....
But he had to try. Or at least get some closure from it.
Pulling out his phone, his finger began dialing a number he had never erased from his memory, hoping it still belonged to the person he had once cherished so much and would often fall asleep while talking to them on the phone.
He could feel his heartbeat quicken with every ring that passed. His hand began clenching and unclenching as he prayed that it would be picked up soon.
"Hello?"
He stilled at the voice that sent chills down his body. He was grateful they had kept the same number all these years.
"We need to talk."
✧═══════•❁❀❁•═══════✧
Y/N cautiously opened the door. Although she knew he was coming, she still wasn't quite prepared to see him, not after everything that happened a few days ago. She gestured for him to come in. Closing the door behind them, she led him to her living room, where she already had coffee waiting for him. It was actually warming to him that she remembered how he liked his coffee, and although he was very tempted to drink it, he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.
"I'm getting married in two days..." He started off.
Y/N nodded, although his words pained her, she refused to show any emotion.
"And I wanted to know how you felt."
She raised an eyebrow at him.
"Why should my opinion matter at this point? You made your decision and as far as I'm concerned, right now we're just two strangers." She coldly replied.
"That's not true Y/N and you know it. You know....that there's a lot more to us." He insisted.
She held her hand up in an effort to get him to stop going down the path he was going.
"Correction. There was a lot to us. If I remember correctly, you were the one who decided to run out, both literally and figuratively."
Yunho didn't deny it, he was fully prepared to take responsibility.
"Yes I did. Ok? I admit it and I accept it. I walked away from our relationship when I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have abandoned you..."
He inhaled before he confessed:
"I shouldn't have left the one person I've ever loved and will always love."
Y/N immediately got up and crossed her arms.
"Don't say that Yunho. You're engaged, you're about to get married. It's bad enough with what happened at your bachelor party, but I'm not letting you cross the line again. You have a perfect life ahead of you, you were always destined to have one. A life surrounded by your parents and friends, with a beautiful wife and kids and that Welsh Corgi you always wanted..."
Y/N couldn't help but tear up as she said those words.
"I get why you had to leave me at that time, I do. Your parents didn't like me and they never will. They'll never accept us...... so please just make it easier on yourself and go have the perfect life you deserve."
Yunho slowly got up and began walking to her.
"You don't get it Y/N. I don't want a perfect life. I want you, I love you. I'll always love you. I want a happy, normal life with you. I want to raise that Welsh Corgi with you, even though you were always more of a cat person."
Y/N let out an involuntary laugh at that. He still knew her so well. Taking her hands in his, he added:
"Please tell me you still love me......just say it and I'll stay by your side."
Y/N covered her mouth with her hand, her tears now flowing non-stop. She was about to say no, but Yunho stopped her.
"Don't lie to me. You know I'll be able to tell. Just be completely honest with me."
His large hands cupped her cheeks, thumbs gently wiping away the tears that were trickling down.
"I'm not rich and I don't exactly have anything to offer someone like you." She admitted.
Yunho smiled. "All I want is your heart. Can't I at least have that?"
Y/N thought about it. But then she realized there was nothing to really think about when her answer 6 years ago would still be the same now.
"I love you Jeong Yunho, my heart is all yours."
As soon as the words were out, there was no more holding back. Their feelings had been locked away for far too long and needed to be released. Yunho wasted no time in finally kissing her after so long, his hands easily hoisting her up, wrapping them around his waist as he carried her to her bedroom, kicking the door open and laying her down on the bed. Their touches were eager and desperate, almost as much as the first time they were intimate together. Clothes were soon discarded all over the floor, hands began roaming and caressing their most intimate parts of their bodies and soon enough, the sound of skin slapping, heavy breathing and panting were the only things that could be heard in those 4 walls.
Yunho pulled Y/N up against him, her back now pressed against his sweaty chest as he continued to slam his hips against hers. One of his hands that was busy groping her breast trailed down her abdomen and stopped when they felt the prominent bulge that was on her lower stomach. Taking one of her hands, he made her press down against it.
"Feel that doll? Feel my huge cock deep inside you?"
Y/N whimpered loudly as he spoke and as he sped his movements up. Yunho couldn't help the teasing giggle that escaped his lips.
"You always were my tiny little doll...so small and fragile, yet always taking my cock like a champ."
His praise made her clench her walls around his thick length, making Yunho temporarily lose the pace he was going at.
"F-fuck doll. Clench around me like that and I might not last any longer."
Always up for testing him, she purposefully clenched harder around him, her eyes looking back at him teasingly. Yunho knew she always loved defying him just to see how far he'll go and he truthfully loved it. That unruly, free spirit in her that manifested itself even in the littlest of things, just made him fall even more for her.
His hand snaked up and wrapped itself around her neck, squeezing lightly for the time being but it was still enough to have her gasping. His other hand, went down to work on her clit, fingers rubbing expertly on it so that it'd have her cumming in a few moments.
"Y-Yunho-" tried saying but he gripped her neck tighter, effectively cutting off what she was going to say.
"Go ahead, cum all over my cock. I want to feel you all over me again. Fuck! I can't wait to fill this pussy up with my cum again. Can you do that for me doll? Hmm? Can you be a good little, tiny doll and cum all over this huge cock of mine?"
Not being able to hold back anymore, Y/N's body shuddered against Yunho's, quivering and spasming as an overwhelming orgasm ripped through her, shouting Yunho's name as if it was a mantra. Yunho let go of her neck, his hands gripping her hips as he fucked himself into his own orgasm, his face buried in the back of her neck as her tight walls milked him out of his cum, some of it already pouring down her inner thighs.
"Shit..." Yunho stammered once he calmed down.
Pulling out of Y/N, he made sure she didn't collapse on the bed, instead he turned her around and helped her to lay down. Her hands rubbed at her lower stomach.
"I'm definitely feeling that tomorrow." She joked, making both of them laugh.
After making sure they were both cleaned up, they ended up just laying down on the bed, holding onto each other, casually talking about everything and nothing.
"Do you remember our first night together?"
Yunho couldn't help but smile fondly at the memory.
"How can I forget? You were so nervous and so adorable." He remembered.
"How was I not supposed to be nervous? You and your size intimidated me."
Yunho laughed at that.
"I know. I remember when you looked down in between my legs and asked 'how is that gonna fit inside me'?"
"Shut up! I was an innocent baby back then." She huffed, her lips forming a small pout.
"You may not be so innocent anymore...but you're still my cute little baby."
Leaning in, he kissed her forehead as he adjusted them into a spooning position, his legs tangling around hers as well. He drew circles around her arm, his head full of thoughts and worries, but he didn't hesitate to say:
"Y/N? Can I ask you something?"
✧═══════•❁❀❁•═══════✧
The whole party was in turmoil. It was already 15 minutes past the time to start the rehearsal and the groom was nowhere to be seen. The bride and her party looked agitated and pissed off, while the groomsmen just looked at each other, trying to decipher what was going on.
"Do you think he got in an accident?" Yeosang immediately thought the worse.
"Don't say those things you idiot. That's how you catch bad luck." Seonghwa told him.
"Superstitious nonsense." Wooyoung shook his head.
Just then, Mingi walked in the room, all eyes immediately upon him since he was the groom's best man. He bowed to everyone before stating:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you all for coming here and attending this rehearsal, I'm sure it took dedication and arrangements on your part to be able to be here...
But I regret to inform you all that there will be no wedding."
A collective gasp was heard from more than half of the attendants. The bride and her parents paled in horror at Mingi's words. Jieun stormed up to him, her pretty features contorted into rage as she confronted Mingi.
"What do you mean Song Mingi? Where is Yunho?"
Mingi merely smirked and turned around, not bothering to stay another minute and ignoring the chaos that was about to ensue in that hall.
"Besides.... I have a friend I promised to join soon."
✧═══════•❁❀❁•═══════✧
The couple stared at the glittering lights of the city as they finished their ice cream bars on the hood of the car. It was almost midnight, but they were far from being tired even though they had only arrived there by plane a few hours ago.
"Is this anything like what you had planned?"
Yunho quickly shook his head.
"Nope. But trust me, I love this way more."
Taking her hand in his, he ran his thumb across the silver band that now adorned the third finger on her left hand.
"And I love you my darling wife."
✧═══════•❁❀❁•═══════✧
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sunjaesol · 4 years ago
Text
the smile you gave me (it’s magic)
juke | meet-cute au | tw: alcohol + annoying men in bars | written for @alexjulies as we have the same headcanons about luke
What Julie Molina was about to do was horribly unfeminist and Flynn would hate her forever, but really, it was all the man’s fault - as usual.
She rejected his advances three times now in the last hour. The bartender gave her a drink on the man’s tab and she sent it back, the man brought it himself (introduced himself as Levi) and she politely declined once more. The third time he asked her to dance and then she fled to the bathroom. Julie wasn’t the biggest partygoer, occasionally joining Flynn for happy hour - like today. Her friend was late however, due to an emergency meeting at a magazine she worked at and Julie had to endure the bar alone. Grave mistake. She should’ve just waited at a McDonalds or something; even if she’d look out of place in her cocktail dress.
im there in 15!! hang in there <3 <3
Julie groaned. Great. Fifteen more minutes in a smelly bathroom stall as women outside were drunkenly crying in front of the mirrors and babbled about their own grievances regarding men. For such a universal problem, she had hoped all men would’ve taken the hint by now.
No, she didn’t want to dance. No, she didn’t want a drink. No, she wouldn’t give her number to someone that kept pushing and coming into her personal space. Levi could fuck off. It was bad enough how he had given her a suggestive once-over like he was deciding whether he wanted brunette or blonde tonight.  
The reminder angered her, pushed her out of the stall with a scowl. Was she really going to let a dumb man (nay: boy) ruin her night before it even started? Her songwriting session with Hayley Williams had gone really well and she deserved to celebrate that! She deserved to end her day on a high note! A quick look in the mirror to assure her make-up hadn’t smudged, she marched out the bathroom back into the dimly lit bar.
Her eyes scanned the room, relieved to not catch Levi close-by. Did he give up and leave? Was he cornering another girl? Whatever. As long as he wasn’t bothering her, she’d be able to breathe and maybe forget about the altercation.
If he did bother her again, she’d use her privilege as a girl and yell at the top of her lungs that he was harassing her. Surely then security would kick him out, right?
Over by the bartop was clamour, two men pulling each other into a laughing embrace as one hauled their backpack over their shoulder as the other dropped it. Changing shifts, Julie noted, halting on the man that had arrived. Well then. The theory that bars only hired attractive people seemed to be correct, the guy straight from a CW show. Mussed up brown hair, sharp features, big eyes, cute smile. A ten out of ten.  
He shrugged his red shacket off, fully black outfit beneath and began washing off discarded glasses. His muscular arms made her throat dry up; he wasn’t attractive, he was hot.
(Oh God. Was she just as bad as Levi, gawking over a stranger? But wasn’t part of his job that girls were supposed to gawk over him? More tips and all that? Julie decided she shouldn’t feel too guilty.)
Her feet moved on their own accord towards the bar, sliding into a leather high stool and wondering what she’d order as she waited for any of the bartenders (him?) to approach her.
Luck was on her side, the new bartender pressing his hands into the counter, brows raised expectantly. “What can I get you?”
Her lips tutted, debating between a margarita and a strawberry mojito. Both were appealing and at a marginally low price. “What’s better?”, she asked. “Margarita or mojito? Honestly.”
He grinned. “Honestly?”
“Yeah.” She crossed her arms atop the counter, a brush away from his hands. “I’ve bartended before. I know you have to lie a little.”
His muscle tee shifted around as he chuckled, slivers of tattoos peeking through on his chest. Her eyes averted, hoping she was a bit more subtle than she felt, and kept them trained on the stacks of whiskey in the glass rack.
His fingers drummed on the wood. “The mojito, then.” Leaning in as if imparting a secret, he added: “We’ve been buying the cheaper tequila. Gotta pay those bills.”
Satisfied at his reply, she gave him a pleased nod. “Okay. A mojito, please.”
He pushed himself off with a click of the tongue, as if he auctioned her something, and turned to grab the ingredients. As he poured the rum into a tall glass, he fell into casual conversation she was all too familiar with.
“You here alone?”
“Waiting on a friend.” Eager to distract herself from the reason why she waiting, and what caused her to wait in a fucking bathroom, she asked: “What’s the tattoo?”
The bartender paused for a beat, as if momentarily forgetting he was inked up, and then tugged his shirt out the way to showcase more skin. Had she not been so curious, she’d focus on the fact that he was defined as hell. The tattoo was a detailed sun with an ocean wave drawn inside. More uncovered: a play and pause button, ‘now or never’, a stick and poke tattoo of a lightning bolt. It was as if she herself doodled onto her skin and then left it there, but it somehow worked. It was personal. Maybe she was also a bit intrigued since he seemed especially interested by music. Granted, it was LA. Everyone was some type of artist with varying degrees of success. Still - she was curious.
“They’re cool,” she complimented, him going back to making her drink with an appreciative grin.
“Thanks.”
“Was the lightning bolt a drunk decision?”, she teased. The only instance someone got a stick and poke tattoo was when they felt chaotic or impulsive.
His grin widened, throwing crushed ice in the glass. “That obvious? Yeah, me and my boys all got one. This whole idea of-” He waved his hands around, trying to find the right words. “-bonding us together for life, I guess.”
Warmth thudded in her chest at his story, endeared by the way his voice became lighter when he talked about his friends. They must be like brothers to him.
As he placed the completed drink in front of her, she contemplated her answer. She’d rather keep talking to him than wait for Flynn in silence. “That’s nice. Having friends like that, it’s special.” Twisting her wrist, she showed her own tattoo. “I got this one when I turned eighteen.”      
They were two, small butterflies dancing on the inside of her forearm. When her mother passed away, she always knew she’d get something to commemorate her. Doodles of butterflies marked her skin in high school, finally becoming permanent when she was allowed to. Knowing everyone inevitably asked about the why, she continued talking.  
“It’s, you know, it’s about metamorphosis and beauty and transcendence and I just-” She caught herself before blabbing her sob story to a stranger. With a chuckle, she muttered: “It’s a reminder that change is good.”
When Julie looked up at him, she was struck by the wonder on his face. He didn’t look as confident as he did before, probably taken aback by her sudden spiritual spiel about butterflies - or by her, in general. The thought let a quiet thrill course through her.  
He snapped out of it, a smirk falling on his lips as his nail chimed against the glass. “It’s on me.”
“Is that a move?” Her head tilted, amused.
“You want me to lie or be honest?” The man leaned across the counter again, much closer this time. “Cool tattoo, by the way.”
She laughed, biting back a silly grin from blooming. This was his job, she reminded herself. Act all cute and get her to buy more drinks so that eventually, her tab would be enormous. It was like winning once at a game of poker and then becoming cocky.
Coy, she ripped her gaze from his and sipped on her drink. She’d let him simmer for a bit.
That was when it happened. Her unfeminist deed that would make Gloria Steinem shudder. Levi, the devil reincarnated, shot her a smug look from the other side of the bar. Swerving past people to the beat of the music, he tried approaching her again.
Julie groaned behind her glass, her good mood instantly shattered once more. Why couldn’t this idiot take a fucking hint?!
“Damn,” bartender mused, “I thought my mojito skills were good.”
The brash words tumbled out at a rapid pace, her need for a solution trumping her pride. “There’s a guy coming onto me right now and you need to help me ward him off. Please.”
He grimaced. “Yeesh. Ex-boyfriend?”
“Worse,” she bit. “A fool.”
A stressed smile pinned itself on her cheeks as Levi sidled beside her, one arm bracketing her left. Her back tensed as she shot a quick, pleading look at the bartender. He zeroed in on Levi, mouth curled downwards.    
“There you are,” Levi grinned. “Thought you left.”
Julie didn’t entertain him anymore. “I’ve told you. I’m not interested.”
He dismissed her. “I see you got yourself a drink? What is it?”
“I’m not interested,” she snapped, eyes flickering once more to the bartender. Was he really not going to help her?
It spurred him into action, his arm reaching over to create a barrier between Levi and her. “Dude, you heard her. Back off.”
Levi snarled. “Can you not? This is between me and her.”
“No, actually,” he exclaimed, blunt. “I’m her boyfriend.”
Her vigilance got her acting swiftly, shifting her expression into a believable nod and placing a hand on his outstretched arm.  
“He is?” Levi was gobsmacked, a hint of anger lacing his voice.
“Yeah,” Julie bit, silently thanking him when he played along and enveloped her hand with his. Her final strike spit his venom right back in his face. “So can you just leave us alone?”
The man rolled his eyes with a scoff, kicking one of the stools and mumbling a string of curses. “Bullshit…”
When he was out of sight again, having stormed off like a petulant child to a shadowy corner, Julie let out breath of relief. “Finally!” Shooting the bartender a bright smile, she kept babbling. “You have no idea how annoying that is. And smart idea - the boyfriend card always works!”
He squeezed her hand, worried. “You sure you’re okay? That was fucked up.”
“Yeah…” She trailed off, the soft touch reminding her of his words from before. Squeezing back, she watched as the pinch between his brows vanished. “I’m okay.”
They kept their stare for a beat, the revolving pop music and excited chatter merely background noise. Neither have let go of their hold on each other. She didn’t want to either; his hand was warm and gentle and a calloused thumb absentmindedly caressed her skin. Levi should learn from this.
Sometimes, a connection just happened.
He let go first, collecting himself into a casual stance that was far more amusing than it should be. Ducking beneath the bar and grabbing a beer, he tapped it against her glass with a cocky nod. “My name’s Luke.”
Julie matched his expression. Luke. Luke, the bartender. It fit him perfectly. “I’m Julie. Are you supposed to be drinking on the clock?”
“I work in a bar,” Luke deadpanned. “It’s expected. And I’m sure Jack can handle it.”
“Why would he have to serve alone?” she inquired teasingly, eyes glimmering with challenge. If there was one thing she loved, it was getting the upper hand in a fun game of flirting.  
He lifted his bottle with a wink. “I’m drinking with you.” A pause, his gaze matching her intensity. Damn. He was a good opponent. “Unless you want me to go?”
She shook her head, took a sip from the mojito and wiggled her brows. “Cheers to warding off annoying men, fake boyfriend.”
“I better get some good karma from this,” he joked. “Cheers!”
(Later that night, she’d realise Flynn never came by. When she asked what happened, Flynn told her she had walked in and saw Julie completely wrapped up in a conversation ‘with that cute bartender’ and left. The joyous announcement that Julie got his number made her friend screech over the phone.
Julie went back to the bar many times. Drinking and talking bled until deep in the night, once till closing time and then he walked her to her apartment. He didn’t resist when she kissed him, his lips kissing back with hunger.
It didn’t take long for the ‘fake’ to be scrapped from that label.)  
🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸
@blush-and-books @willexx @bluefirewrites @ourstarscollided
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halloweenbitch2764 · 4 years ago
Note
Please fulfill my NSFW request. Where the S/O have the innocent and kind personality but doesn't know what sexual intercourse is and Slachers Michael, Jason, Brahms, Harry Wander and Pyramid Head were already together for a long time in a relationship with the S/O, to the point of being frustrated by the S/O not repairing or understanding their approach.
Hi! So I don't write for Harry and Pyramid Head *yet* so I'm gonna throw in some other characters instead 💖
Warnings: Pinches of NSFW
Michael Myers
The least subtle of like, anyone
Will just pick you up and throw you onto the bed once he feels the relationship is far enough for him to make his move
He'll start trying to undress you
Which hella confuses you so you grab his wrists
He stops but doesn't say anything
Just tilts his head
"Um, why are you trying to take my clothes off?"
Is stunned for a minute
You had to know what he was getting at. You were just playing dumb.
But he could tell from the look in your eyes that you were genuinely confused
Since he doesn't talk he'll get frustrated because how is he supposed to explain what he wants?
Ends up making the 👉👌 signal with his hands
You picked up on it because immature kids at school had made the signal all the time and then would laugh
You have to explain to him that you didn't know hardly anything about sex
It would frustrate him a bit but excite him more knowing he would be the one to fill you up and take your virginity
He'd end up helping you ;P
Jason Vorhees
100000000% innocent
Was raised that sex was for marriage
And therefore knows absolutely nothing about it
It wasn't proper to talk about
And he felt horrible for even having such thoughts before you two were married
So he wouldn't know how to ask you for what he wanted
He had figured out that he would try to initiate it after arguing the pros and cons with himself
He'd try to be subtle but would end up making it obvious
He'd guide you to the bedroom and set you on the bed
When you didn't argue he was more confident and slightly surprised
But when his hand rubbed against your crotch you squeezed your legs together to tell him to stop
He'd panic inwardly
"W-What are you doing?"
He'd make grunts and point to the best of his abilities to explain what it was he wanted
It might take a while but eventually you'd catch on
You'd be super flustered like him and explain your situation
He'd feel relieved
At least he wasn't the only inexperienced virgin
It would be a learning experience for both of you
Brahms Heelshire
Did someone say horndog?
Has only learned what sex was from books he's read
So he has a very very very VERY basic concept of what it is
Like, he knows where his dick goes and that's about it
So he's fairly innocent as well save for the harlequin romance novels he's read while in the walls
The least subtle motherfucker besides Michael
Once y'all have been dating long enough for him to think it's time, he'll make his move
He'll pin you to the couch one day and you'll feel his erection rub against your thigh
Which confuses you
And he notices the confused expression on your face
He'll tilt his head as if asking what you were confused about
"What are you doing?"
He's stunned
How do you not understand what he's trying to get at?
Will likely end in him throwing a temper tantrum
Because he's a spoiled brat
And you'll have to calm him down and get him to explain what he was trying to do
Then you'll get flustered and embarrassed because you know close to nothing about sex
It'll definitely be a learning experience for you both
Billy Loomis
A big fucking horndog
If you're lucky he'll wait to make his advances until the second or third week you're dating
I know this says after dating a while but lets face it, it wouldn't be a while with him
But he's a teenage boy
He's got his needs
And that's part of what your job was as his S/O
He'd be confused IMMEDIATELY when you broke the kiss instead of going into a make out session when he was trying to initiate one
He wasn't used to people not picking up on him and not trying to get him into the bedroom
So when you broke the kiss and just vibed watching the horror movie he was confused
But you wouldn't knock him off his game that quick
So he would let his hand rest on your thigh
And then it would move up
And soon enough to your inner thigh
You didn't show any reactions to it really
Not like the ones he was used to receiving
There was *maybe* a slight hint of a blush but it wasn't obvious
Now he's mega confused
So he decides a new approach
He becomes more subtle and flirtatious in both his words and in tone
Annnnnnd nothing
He'd continue trying for the next week or so
Then his frustration would boil and he may or may not end up yelling at you, releasing the stress and confusion of the past week
You'd have to explain to him that you hadn't been taught much of anything about sex and was even less aware of the signals he was giving
He would teach you from there if you wanted to learn~
Thomas Hewitt
Is just as awkward about sex as you are, and only not as innocent because of Hoyt
He only becomes comfortable talking about it once you've been dating for a while
The farthest you'd gone was kisses
You'd never even had a make out session
And his hands never left your waist
And as much as he hated it, it wad starting to annoy him
He figured it wasn't your fault that you were so innocent
But he wondered how you hadn't had any sexual urges by now
Didn't everyone? Or most people at least?
He tried bringing it up subtly and prayed you'd catch on
You didn't
Which left him more annoyed
He was never one to come right out and ask about stuff like that
It wasn't polite as he'd learned from Luda Mae
He'd make advances from then on
He'd move his hands down to your inner thighs and to just below your chest
There was no way you wouldn't catch on
Right...?
Wrong
You figured he was just setting his hands where they were comfortable
As much as he absolutely hated it he'd end up going to Luda Mae for advice for how to approach it
He would be the least pushy (besides Jason) and would end up struggling to figure out how to get you to understand what he wanted
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azucanela · 4 years ago
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6. LOCKED IN A CLOSET | BAKUGOU KATSUKI
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1K CELEBRATION MASTERLIST
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SUMMARY: In which Mina Ashido gets sick of the pining turned avoiding, so she decides the best course of action is to steal the Janitor’s keys and lock her idiotic friends in a closet until they sort themselves out. 
WORD COUNT: 2.5k
WARNINGS: kissing, pining, stealing, references to events in season three, damn?
A/N: i was considering using another gif and realized that bakugou’s hands literally SMOKE after he uses his quirk
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This was the last straw.
Mina had been observing Bakugou for a while now, and she had determined a few things. First of all, Bakugou does care, he just has his own weird way of showing it, his concerns were laced in with his insults in an attempt to prevent others from noticing that he cared. Even though he would complain about the presence of Mina and the rest of the Bakusquad, he’d never outright kicked them out of his room. And when they needed help, with anything, he’d be there. Studying happened to be something they did together frequently, and though Bakugou insisted on insulting them every five seconds, he was actually a fairly good teacher. Then again, Bakugou also sought to be good at everything.
The second thing Mina had noticed was that actions like this were far more pronounced whenever he was with Y/N L/N. It seemed the girl made him, ‘soft’ to put it simply, not that Mina would ever say that out loud, seeing as she wanted to live to see another day. But it was clear in the way he encouraged the girl, pushing her to work as hard as she could, and yet when she overworked, he was there to keep her from the edge. It had been pretty obvious the day he’d offered Y/N his lunch because she’d forgotten her own, and sure, his offering was couple with a few insults about how foolish she was to forget her meal, but it was an offering nonetheless. 
It was then that Mina began to wonder if Bakugou could feel things other than anger. She’d tried to ask him herself, but he’d simply blushed furiously and begun cursing her out. So, Mina hatched her plan to try and get him to admit feeling something for Y/N. She’d send Kirishima to ask him about it, only for the boy to come back with holes blown into his clothes by Bakugou’s infamous explosions. Then, she’d tried to get Kaminari to hit on Y/N, to gauge Bakugou’s reaction.
That didn’t end well for Kaminari.
Prior to beginning her effort to bring the two together, she’d gone to Y/N to determine if the possible feelings were mutual. Though the only answer she got was, “I don’t see why it matters, Mina.” Which Mina had a feeling meant, “yes I do, but I doubt Bakugou would like me back since he has his sights set on being a hero.” Not that Mina needed confirmation, she just would’ve preferred it, though the few times Y/N had offhandedly mentioned Bakugou in conversation were confirmation enough. 
But no, watching Bakugou, seated closely beside Y/N as he explained the homework that had baffled her, Mina knew that whatever Bakugou felt for Y/N, it was far from platonic. He hadn’t cursed, hadn’t called her an idiot or some other crude name, hadn’t teased her for not understanding the concept they’d been learning in class all week. No, he’d simply told her to shut up and listen as he explained. If Mina had made such a request, he would’ve told her to start paying attention in class, or to quit being such a damn idiot. 
This, this was the last straw. Now, this definitely wasn’t Mina’s brightest idea, I mean, who in their right mind would lock Bakugou Katsuki in a closet? Nobody. And yet, there Mina stood— with keys she’d asked Sero to... borrow from the school janitor— ramming the keys into the keyhole and locking the door behind Bakugou and Y/N. Mina refused to watch the pair pine for each other any longer. If they wanted to simp for each other mutually, then they would do it as a couple.
Also, Mina just loved to play matchmaker with her friends. 
“LET US OUT OF HERE RACCOON EYES.” Bakugou called out, fist ramming against the door as he glared at the girl through the door, not that this was possible. 
He could hear Mina begin to laugh as she simply replied, “sort yourselves out and then I’ll let you out.” All the subtle hints of their true feelings disappeared after Y/N accompanied Midoriya and his friends to save Bakugou, Mina was fairly sure that Bakugou was avoiding Y/N at this point, though she couldn’t come up with a good reason why, aside from the kidnapping itself. So now, she would force them to make up, and hopefully confess their feelings. 
The tension was getting tiring for everyone in their class. 
This only serves to anger Bakugou more, and Y/N seems to take notice of this as Bakugou feels her hand come to his shoulder, he can’t help but hate the way he relaxes as he turns to see Y/N, shaking her head, “Calm down.”
“Yeah, Katsuki, we’ll be back in an hour. Have fun, lovebirds.” Mina could vividly recall the day Y/N had accidentally called him by his first name, the boy’s cheeks had become a bright red, but when Y/N tried to correct herself, he shut her down almost immediately. And yet Mina couldn’t even remember the last time the two had even acknowledged each other now.
These words earn a growl frmo Bakugou, who is moving backwards to aim his palms at the door, hoping to activate his quirk and blow the door down, only for his back to hit Y/N. “I don’t think using your quirk would be the best idea.”
“Well do you have a better idea?” She was right, if he used his quirk, it could easily do more harm than good. Bakugou wasn’t sure how reinforced the doors of the school were, especially in light of all the recent attacks, he also didn’t want to pay for any damage he did. That and he could easily end up harming Y/N in the process.
She exhales deeply, hands moving to his shoulders to force him to turn around in the small closet and face her. “We wait until someone comes by, the janitor will definitely be looking for his keys.” 
Bakugou evades her gaze he turns to glare at the locked door once more, “what if no one comes by and we have to wait for those idiots to come back?” Y/N shrugs, looking behind her before moving to sit on the ground, just for Bakugou look back to her incredulously, “what the hell are you doing?”
“Getting comfortable.” Y/N brings her knees to her chest, resting her head on top of them as she continues, “it’s not like she’d free us until we sorted ourselves out.” The words come out harsher than Y/N intended, but she was annoyed at the way Bakugou had been treating her recently, the way he was obviously avoiding her.
The boy before her grimaces, but settles down against the door nonetheless. The closet isn’t that large, Even with his knees bent, there still isn’t much space between him and Y/N, who had taken to staring at one of the many cleaning products in the room, rather than him. “There’s nothing to sort out.” 
A bitter laugh escapes Y/N as she returns her gaze to him eyes narrowing, “you’ve been avoiding me for weeks and there’s absolutely nothing to sort out?” 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He grumbles out, averting his eyes from her cold gaze. 
And suddenly Y/N is grabbing one of the boxes of tissues on the shelf beside and and throwing it at Bakugou, hitting him square in the chest because of his spread legs. “What the hell?”
“I’m gonna keep throwing stuff at you—” She picks up another item, this time a spray bottle, “until you are honest with me.” Comes her response, throwing the item, only for Bakguo to catch it, placing it down beside it.
Y/N is already moving to grab something else off the shelf as Bakugou begins to protest, “hey—Hey! Cut it out.” Y/N is already throwing an unopened bottle of hand soap, which Bakugou dodges, glaring at Y/N as he hears it hit the door behind him. “Y/N, I swear if you—” she doesn’t break eye contact as she reaches beside her for another object, only for Bakugou to launch himself forwards and grab her wrists to prevent her from continuing her assault. “Stop.” There’s a tone of finality in voice, but Y/N disregards it as she begins to speak.
“You ready to talk yet?” She makes an attempt to yank her hands from his grasp, but Bakugou’s grip remains firm as he holds her. “Because I am sick of this, Bakugou.”
He pauses, brows furrowing as his grip on her wrists loosens and he releases them, “what did you just call me?”
“Your name.”
Bakugou is scowling now, falling back into a seat, though he’s no longer pressed against the door as he replies, “that’s not my name and you know it.” 
Y/N can’t help but scoff, “first names are reserved for people who you care about.” He’d barely been interacting with her these past few weeks, ever since his kidnapping. Y/N had a feeling that had something to do with his behavior, but she’d assumed he had needed space to process, until space turned into Bakugou avoiding her entirely. She’d confided in Mina about the possibility once, and the girl had simply told her to confront Bakugou. 
That was easier said than done.  
“Do you really think I don’t care about you?” He asks, disbelief clear in his voice as he watches her, “Y/N, you could’ve died going to save me like the damn idiot you are. And what would I have done?!” 
Y/N inhales deeply, bringing her hands to her face as she begins to speak once more, “Bakugou-”
“Don’t call me that.” He snaps, looking away from her, silence engulfs the pair as Y/N stares at him, still processing his words when he decides to continue, “I thought things couldn’t get any worse, but seeing you there? ” Bakugou runs a hand through his hair, tugging at it as he contemplates what to say next momentarily, before looking back up at Y/N, “I’ve never felt more horrified. So don’t you dare say I don’t care.”
Y/N is about to respond when the small light above them began to flicker to nothing, effectively darkening the room. Y/N can hear Bakugou rise to a stand, hand coming to the wall and ficking the light switch a few times, only for nothing to happen. Her breath hitches as she grabs the edge of one of the shelves, rising to her feet as well. “Do you think the power went out?” 
Y/N can hear the way Bakugou inhales shakily, causing her to reach out for him, hand meeting his chest. Y/N could’ve sworn she could feel his heart beating as her hand fisted at the material of his shirt in an attempt to bring him closer to her. “You don’t think it;s an attack do you?”
Oh.
“It’s not, this is just an old light.” She assures, pulling him closer, something Bakugou doesn’t fight. “Bakugou.” Y/N mutters, trying to garner his attention, she can’t see his face right now, and he seems to have gone completely silent save for his breathing. “Bakugou,” she repeats, brows furrowing from his lack of response. “Katsuki, listen to me.”
A hand comes to her arm, grasping it tightly, “what?” 
“Your quirk— do you think you could make an explosion small enough to light up the room and not cause any damage?” Seeing as they were in a room filled with highly flammable chemicals, it was a gamble, but Y/N had a feeling this would do more good than bad. 
He doesn’t respond, simply removing his hand from her and taking a step back, Y/N can hear a small crackle as the room lights up spottily, small explosions at Bakugou’s fingertips. His brows are drawn together, attention focused on his hand that was now lighting up the room, 
Y/N found herself bringing her hand to Bakugou’s forearm as she moved closer, causing him to look up at the small explosions faltered. “See?” She mumbled, “we’re safe.” Y/N is rubbing small circles in his arm as she looks up at him, meeting his eyes.
“You don’t know that.” 
 Shaking her head, Y/N replies, “are you calling me a liar?” She brings her free hand to the back of his neck, hand tangling with the hair at the nape of his neck.
“I didn’t say that.” He grumbles, the small explosions now steadily brightening the room. “And be careful, idiot.” Bakugou tries to pull away from her, worried that the explosion could harm her, but Y/N doesn’t accept this, grip on his hair tigtening. 
She scoffs, eyes narrowing as she looks around the room for something that could help them escape the closet, to no avail. Y/N fails to notice the way Bakugou’s eyes trail over her, watching as her face is lit up by the glow of his explosions. When Y/N turns to look back at him, she doesn’t expect his eyes to already be on her, and can feel the her cheeks warm.
Their eyes lock and and Y/N finds herself moving closer to Bakugou, he makes no attempts to stop her this time, but Y/N can see red blossom on his cheeks in the glow of his explosions, which were beginning to become more infrequent. It’s not until the explosions come to a stop entirely that Bakugou presses his lips to hers, his warm hand coming to her side as he pulls her closer. 
Y/N’s hand leaves his hair to grip his other arm, just for Bakugou to force them to switch places without his lips leaving hers. He forces Y/N’s back against the door, only for her to pull away, mouth gaping open as Bakugou’s lips find their way to her neck as he breathes heavily. 
“That was a very sudden change of pace.” Y/N mumbled, a small laugh escaping her. 
Bakugou grunted in reply, playfully biting at Y/N’s neck and causing her to swat at his chest gently, before looking back up to her, not that either of them could see much. Despite this, Bakugou’s hand finds its way to Y/N’s face gripping her chin as he brings her into a much shorter kiss, “you’re my girlfriend.” 
It wasn’t really a question, mostly because Bakugou wasn’t asking, but it wasn’t a demand either. Even though she couldn’t see him, Y/N could practically feel Bakugou’s eyes burning into her, awaiting a response, whether it was an agreement or not. 
“Okay, Katsuki.” 
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A/N: well that escalated quickly, also i hate editing kjashkjdahskjdh
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TAGLISTS[lmk if you wanna be added or removed via reply or askbox]:
BNHA: @shawkneecaps​​ @beifongsss​​ 
BAKUGOU KATSUKI: @hadespleasesteponmyneck​
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moondustis · 4 years ago
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on the way (m)
pairing: seo johnny + reader genre: angst, smut | word count: 10k summary:  “There’s a few ways you could tell this story. The tale of how you met one Seo Johnny, and how it all went down. But maybe there's no better way to do it than from the beginning.” or A love story told in 5 acts.
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a/n: hello! yes, finally a new fic and yes it is college!au with a hint of fwb. i have been writing this for around 4 months now and i haven’t read some parts in awhile so it’s probably all around the place. if something doesn’t make a lot of sense, well... it is what it is lol. but yeah, hope you guys enjoy it! 
act 1: messy affairs 
See, there’s a few ways you could tell this story. The tale of how you met one Seo Johnny, and how it all went down. But maybe there's no better way to do it than from the beginning.
It’s a friday night, just like any other that happens after a mixture of weekly stress and the weird need to let it all out. It’s common, routine even, how you apply your makeup, pick your best outfit and scroll mindlessly through tinder in wait for your friends to arrive for a pre-game. It's common but not that usual, at least not until recently. 
Your last year of college had brought a lot of feelings that you didn't think you were ready to deal with yet. A nostalgia that arrived too soon, when you would catch yourself thinking that a moment shared with roommates would be the last one. An uncertainty of the future and a constant stress between writing a thesis that somehow is supposed to summarize the entirety of the knowledge you had gotten in the last year. 
And lastly, the reason why you're doing this: the unwavering fear that your life is just about to start. The same feeling you got when college just started, of freedom and new beginnings. But now, instead of the excitement and thrill, it's replaced by anxiety and the heavy weight of adulthood about to start.  That's why you look into the mirror, again, applying your lip gloss with the screen of your phone still illuminated by a picture of a person just waiting to be swiped left or right. You just need to have fun, like you never will again. 
It's that a too harsh way to start this? Well, back to Seo Johnny. 
It's a friday night and your friends arrive, flavored vodka in hand, the cheap kind that tastes like it's not alcoholic at all. A shot for each and then you are all laughing and joking to pass time. 
"Why do we have to pre game? I'm sure there will be plenty to drink." Sarah, a blonde girl with friendly cheeks asks. She tips the shot on her hand back anyway, despite the question. 
"Hell no I'm not going to drink frat booze again, they are cheap." Ela, tall and smart and majoring is Social Politics, says. 
You hum and Sarah asks "And we are not?"
"No, we have our dear friend making us drinks." Ela gestures wildly at Nicole, the bartender of the night who's wearing a dress that only battles your own in the matters of shortness. "We are fancy."
"She's mixing vodka with sprite." These statements make you laugh loudly. 
Tinder is just a distraction as you all sit on the couch, a good way to find an easy date for the night and when the he in question shows up, a black and white picture on the illuminated screen of your phone, it earns a shriek from your friends that go on and on about how hot he looks. 
"You should swipe right." Ela says, eyebrows dancing but you don't see it because you're busy rolling your eyes at your phone. Johnny stares at you. 
"He's my friend." You say as if it's obvious but it's really not. The word friend feels a little weird in your mouth but how else could you describe it? College was good for you in the social aspect, you have a lot of friends, people you talk to in class, or that you meet at parties because you ran in the same circles. It usually doesn't go deeper than that, than a blunt shared or a joke about a teacher, but that's friendship anyway you conclude.
And Johnny , well, he was someone you knew, not well, but sometimes he would text you a joke that made you laugh, ask for help with an assignment, talk to you about anything during a party. He was fun, a friend, and an acquaintance. Whatever, that didn't matter and honestly neither did the way you met, through a mutual friend at a kickback. It was that and nothing more. 
"Please, he flirts with you every chance he gets." Ela rolls her eyes right back at you. 
"He flirts with anyone, I think." You argue, because it's true. Johnny is one of those people that just have this aura to them, that can make anyone interested with just a few words. He's naturally flirty, that's something easy to point out. 
"Well he's hot." That too. 
"True." Nicole says and it earns a deep sigh from you.
Acting on impulse or peer pressure, you don't know exactly, but you swipe right and then nothing happens. So you shrug and throw your phone away to down another shot. 
When you get to the party, it's already absolutely trashed, with freshmen spilling their drinks on the floor as some annoying EDM song blasts loud enough that you’re not very sure the thin windows of this house can handle. Frat parties were always the same, mildly boring and filled with people that didn't know how to act. It often escaped you the reasons why you continued to attend them. 
You and your friends dance a little, laughing when the songs change to one that is even worse than the first one. Ela, despite her words from earlier, finds a bottle of vodka and proclaims loudly that a night can never end badly when it starts with shots, a statement you strongly disagree with but you down it anyway when she offers it and then another one just for good measure. Because it’s a friday, you deserve a little fun, right? Right.
Too tired of dancing you had found a place on a couch that was probably too old. Johnny finds you there when the shots just start to hit and you feel bubbly, like you're on a cloud. 
"Hey there." He says with a blinding smile and if you weren't out of it you'd probably find it weird that he came to you, because most of the time you talked at parties was because you somehow ended up bumping into each other. 
"Hi." You reply, elongating the word more than necessary and it seems to amuse him. 
"Why are you sitting here by yourself?" He asks.
"Don't feel like dancing anymore." You say shrugging. "And what are you doing here sitting with me?" 
You watch as he laughs slowly and fishes for his phone in his pocket. "See, I wanted to show you something." 
It’s endearing, really, even more when his hand starts to wander, fingers barely ghosting your skin as he keeps his gaze glued to your face. 
He kisses you deeply, head tilted to the side as he holds you close with both hands on your cheeks and you can’t do anything but let him take control. Is when he sucks on your bottom lip that you have to let out the moan you had been holding, embarrassingly too soon and only urging him on even more as he licks at your lips, asking for entrance that you so gladly give, letting his tongue slide against yours slowly. The feeling of his hands moving to your leg makes your head spin and want for more.
He kisses the breath out of you, quite literally, and you both have to part to catch it back with silly smiles, gasps of air and pecks still being pressed on your lips. 
In your drunken haze, you smile when he rests his palm on your naked thigh, squeezing just slightly to test your interest. And you’re crazy, absolutely out of your mind because you show it by parting your legs just a little, just to tease, the smile never leaving your face as he mimics it with a subtle raise of his eyebrow. 
And god forgive you for being such a stupid horny girl that just falls gives in so easily, taking Johnny’s wandering hand in yours and dragging him to the closest place you can find, which happens to be someone's bedroom. How nice and polite of you. 
There’s not much beating around the bush. He pushes you into the bed, hovering over you and finally kisses you again, with hunger, hands on your neck and tongue sliding against yours in movements that are not shy from being desperate. And you love it, enough to have your mind swimming with the need to have him touch you anywhere that will make you feel good. 
When you grip at his hair a little too harshly, he lets out a moan that goes straight to the bubble of arousal on the pit of your stomach. He’s a sight, with puffy lips and hair a mess as he drops to his knees in front of you, something you weren’t exactly expecting but will definitely not complain about. 
He looks up at you, hands moving to rest at your thighs and oh, so gently parting them so he can fit in between. “Can I?” You almost die at the voice he asks for your consent in. 
You nod, head spinning a little when you move to help him get yours panties off, the offending cotton fabric being thrown somewhere inside this poor person's bedroom.
A couple of things happen afterwards. Johnny parts your legs further, placing a misplaced kiss on your inner thigh. Then he goes for it with a tentative lick, as if testing the waters and just slightly as if he’s a little unsure of himself. You blink slowly in expectation. 
“How do you like it?” The question makes you confused until you realize that he’s teasing you, a grin splattered across his face when you groan and try to move your hips but he keeps a grip on your legs. 
“Asshole.” You mutter in what sounds more like a whine. 
Which is a complete lie, because you’re already shivering in your skin and he knows that by the raise of his eyebrow in defiance. But still, your words spark something and he finally goes for it. 
The first press of his tongue flat against you has your hands moving to grip at the bed sheets. He works in a pace that clearly shows that he knows what he’s doing, swirling his tongue a little to tease and then licking a stripe from your entrance to your clit to gather the wetness there. 
He kisses your cunt the exact same way he did your lips, messily and desperate with the squelchy noises filling the room and setting your cheeks in heat from embarrassment. You don’t even need the long fingers he adds, slowly and then matching the pace of his sucks. 
It’s a very quick orgasm, in the sense that it doesn’t take you half the time you thought it would to happen. He does a little thing with his tongue, flicking your clit and you’re crying out with your body arching from the bed as he continues to eat you out as your body trembles. 
“Was I good?” He asks afterwards, words muffled because he’s still pressed against your bare center. He’s grinning, you can see it as well as the wetness that drips on his chin. 
You don't reply, instead you push him upwards and kiss him again, tasting yourself on his tongue. You can feel his erection press against your hip when he brings you closer and it makes you want more. 
He breaks the kiss then, palm comes to rest on your cheek, thumb on the other side of your face as he keeps you looking at him. He likes being in control, you have realized that even in this short interaction, and you apparently liked giving it to him. 
You shiver when he brushes his thumb on your lips, getting them to part for him. “There you go, open your mouth.” He whispers, eyes glued to it. “Be good." 
Parting your lips, you lick at his thumb before you’re sucking it, earning a grunt from him that almost makes you smirk. You put on a show, trying to get him as worked up as you are, your eyes not leaving his face.
“Fuck. You’re so hot.” He mutters, pressing his thumb on your tongue and you moan a little over it. “You want my cock on your mouth?”
You nod, smiling as he removes his wet finger from your mouth. “Yes.” Your voice is breathless, eyes glassy as you stare at him.
That earns you a smile and you feel a little pride in your chest. “That’s a good girl.” He taps your face. “Get on your knees then, baby. If you want it so bad.”
You do, positioning yourself in the middle of his parted thighs when he sits down on the bed and your mouth almost waters from anticipation.
Lifting his shirt a bit, you start by pressing kisses to his navel and he lets out a deep breath. Reaching down to unbutton his pants, you help him pull them down alongside his boxers and the sight of him hard for you is what really makes your mouth water. He's big in a way that you're sure you won't be able to fit it all inside without putting in some work. 
You tease him just a little bit, placing just the small kiss at the tip before licking it slowly. He’s far less patient then you are, hand immediately moving to grip your hair. “Put it in, baby, don’t be bad for me now.”
Parting your lips, you put him in your mouth, going as far as you can go, wrapping your hand on what you can’t reach. He moans lowly, curses falling from his lips.
He lets his head fall back when you swirl your tongue around, bobbing your head slowly the way he likes. “That’s it, baby. Takin’ me so well.” You hum around him, earning yourself another moan.
You try to get him as far as you can, swallowing when you reach your limit and he grips your hair tighter. You can feel him pulsing inside your mouth and it makes you squeeze your thighs together.
He comes on your face, painting your cheeks and making you gasp a little in shock. "Fuck, I'm sorry." He mumbles, quick to search for something to clean you up with. 
"It 's okay." You say, throat feeling sore and you try not to think about how that was the first time that ever happened for too long. "I liked it." 
That makes him give you a look, and then he's saying with a laugh "You'll be the death of me." 
act 2: ungodly hour
Maybe the fact that nothing really changes should be a sign by itself. 
Johnny still nods to you when you pass by him around campus, and still asks you to ‘help a guy out’ by sending him pictures of your notes like you guys are nothing but good almost-friends. Because, well, that’s what you are and that’s good enough for you. 
His face stays there on your tinder matches, no acknowledgement of it beyond his stupid joke back at the party happens and the only reminder you have of that night is the insatiable thoughts that cross your mind in the middle of a boring lecture. Because why would you pay attention to whatever your teacher is saying when you could remind bit by bit of how Johnny fucked you on his tiny dorm room, while maintaining a resting face.
Weirdly those memories don't hit you the next time you see him, because you’re too busy thinking about strawberry milkshake. 
The line behind you is not even that big, considering it’s 3am and most drunk college kids prefer to go to the burger king, but the cashier has an annoyed look on his face as your friend slowly reads the menu as if there’s plenty to choose from at a place like Mcdonalds. “Hmm, we’ll have two large fries, a coke and...” 
“A strawberry milkshake!” You try to go for whispering but it comes out louder and the cashier just hums. 
There's just something about being slightly shit faced at this hour and at this place, that makes it all seem like it's not actually happening. Like you are in a dream that only gets better when the server calls your number and you are sipping on the milkshake you kept on talking about since leaving the club you went on.  
Funnily enough, if this was in fact in a dream, it wouldn't be the first time Johnny showed up on one of yours.
He's sitting in a booth by himself, scrolling at his phone. His hair is pushed back by a snapback and your mind twirls for a second with the thought that he looks too good for someone who's here in an hour like this. 
Maybe it's the remnants of alcohol still buzzing on your system. Or maybe it is the fact that you seem to have been losing your self consciousness more and more these days. Whatever it is, it leads you to the stand in front of Johnny with a smile on your face and your hand freezing from holding the milkshake.
It doesn't take long for him to notice you, a smile that makes you feel warm inside ready on his lips as you take a place right across from him like it was meant for you all this time. 
"Hey there." He says, voice playful and you wonder if he had a few drinks himself before coming here. He must have had. "What's up?" 
You shrug, a smile painting your own lips. "Nothing much." You say and for some reason you feel silly, in a way that makes you want to scream a little from excitement. Like a teenage girl with a crush.  "Strawberry milkshake. You want some?"
Johnny laughs a little when you offer him the cup with the slightly bitten straw. "No, thank you. But it looks good."
"It is." You smile with lips closed around it. 
For a moment, but not an uncomfortable one, you two just stare at each other. The sweet taste of your drinks fills your mind and makes you feel a little less dizzier. 
"Had fun night?" 
"Hmm, not really. Sorority parties suck." He nods in agreement. Most parties sucked anyway, that's why everyone had to get so wasted to be able to enjoy it while the high lasted. You liked feeling pretty after getting ready more than the whole rest of it.  "What were you up to?"
"Got to DJ at this party with Mark, it was nice." He says it like it was no big deal, like it was something he did every other day. You had never actually seen Johnny play before, but from the way his instagram page was filled with posts about it and links to soundcloud songs, anyone could figure out it was at least a bit important to him. 
You found it weird, that you didn't know much about this or anything else about Johnny besides what he would let you know. And vice versa. But at the same time it's nice getting to know it bit by bit, without a rush.  
"That's really cool." Your voice is a little more excited than you expected it to be. "I really wanna see you play someday." 
"Sure." He smiles sideways. Bashfulness doesn't really suit him. "I'll let you know the next time."
You nod, then you share a look. Someone screams at their friend about something you don't really care about because you're too busy watching Johnny as he watches you finish your milkshake. Is it chemistry that people call this? Because there is nothing very appealing about the drink you're having, or about the white light at this place, but there's tension in the way you can't really look away. 
He looks like he wants to laugh but is too scared to break whatever is happening. You finish your milkshake with one last swallow of artificial sweetener and lick your lips. He finally breaks. 
"Stop looking at me like that." He says it in a way that suggests something that it's already as clear as water. 
You bat your eyelashes. "Like what exactly?"
He laughs, sweet and deep, then raises one eyebrow in challenge. "Like you want me to fuck you in the middle of this mcdonalds."
The scandalousness of the statement makes you laugh too, your words sounding half joke half true between smiles. "Well, maybe I want to."
"You don't really strike me as the type." He says it like he's unsure of it, like in the back of his mind he could actually believe you would do something as shocking as that. Truth be told, you don't even know it yourself. There's not a lot you have done when it comes to this and sometimes you even think back to him coming on your face, like it is the wildest thing that has ever happened. 
"I could be." He raises his eyebrow again, this time not as a challenge but as genuine curiosity. You would like to know whether that is true or false as well. 
Deep down you know that there are not many things you wouldn't let a guy like Johnny do to you. 
He laughs, then pauses for a second and taps his fingers on the table as if looking for something to say. "You should let me take you out someday." Is what he decides on. 
For some reason you don't think much of that at the moment. "You gotta take someone out before fucking them in public place?" You continue the joke, earning a low laugh and a head shake. 
"I'm being serious." 
How serious can someone really be at 4am with some alcohol on their system. This time you are the one raising your eyebrows, in pure doubt. He doesn't seem like the type who dates girls they fucked at a party once, or the type who dates girls like you. But thinking about it you don't really know what type of person Johnny is. Or what kind of girl you really are. 
You click your teeth before smiling. "We'll see about that."
act 2: la petit mort 
It’s not a text you get but instead a facebook invitation. It makes you laugh because men are truly all the same. Liking an old instagram picture, reacting with an emoji to something you post on stories. Never a message being straightforward, it’s like they are all physically incapable of that. You wonder if it’s because of fearing rejection. 
See, dating it's not really your thing, never has been and the proof can be found in your few failed attempts. It just made you nervous, constantly on edge because it always involved a lot of confusing moments, of not knowing where it's going or what the other person is thinking. People are usually bad at the most important thing when it comes to this, communication. And you hated to be either on the side of conflict or of creating expectations too early. 
But Johnny, well, he has got you interested. In a way that’s dangerous because it doesn’t happen very often, at least not with someone who seems interested as well or even the slightest bit possible.
And danger is not your area of expertise, not as of lately, but still you click on the green button and when saturday comes you’re walking inside a very underground party outside of campus. 
You know it's the right place because there's some people outside smoking and the door is slightly open. You walk inside the two floor flat, the small bottle of wine you had brought shaking a little in your bag while you pass some people.
There's music playing but the sound of conversations is louder than that. The scent filling the room is undeniably familiar and it makes you wonder if there's a least one sober person in the room at the moment. You had been to parties like this before, not nearly as loud as the ones that happened on campus and  with a lot less people. An amount that by the end of the night will have shrunk and the ones left will gather around the very old looking couch, share one last blunt and say unnecessary deep things and profess their deep affections for each other.
They were fun parties.
You don't talk to anyone because no one really attempts to talk to you first. That's just how you worked, social interactions never came as easy as it seemed to other people. You usually waited for people to approach and if they were nice you would cling to them. Sometimes you even practiced smiling in the foggy mirror after you showered. You practiced saying an icebreaker, smiling fakely after it, but you never really put it in practice.
You see Johnny before he sees you, surrounded by two boys that look particularly close. He looks effortlessly good, like he always does, with a black sweatshirt and light blue jeans. It makes you want to go there and hold his hand, lean against his chest, feel him loom above you and then kiss him in front of everyone as if it was normal, as if it meant nothing. You got this feeling a lot.
When he sees you he smiles big and makes his way to you with long and quick steps that don't take longer than three blinks from you.
"I thought you were going to DJ tonight." You say when he reaches you holding a bottle of beer. 
He shrugs, standing very close to you now. "Nah, this is not that kind of party." 
His eyes stay glued to you and you fight the urge to fix your hair. You wonder if he thinks you look good on the dress you chose. 
"Hmm, it's not the kind of party I thought I would ever see you on." You point out, looking around as someone screams asking for them to play some song by an artist you don't know. 
"To be honest this is much more my scene." He explains and this small piece of information he gives you about what he's really like makes you feel giddy for some reason. "The only reason I go to frat parties is because of Jaehyun."  
Jaehyun was a dude that played on the football team and looked too good for his own good. Him and Johnny were always together, like they would break if someone separated them. "So that's who you got this weird frat boy aura you got from." 
He laughs loudly. "Sure. But what about you? What's your scene?" 
You pretend to think for a while. "I don't really know. I like very specific things that I only know I'm actually enjoying at the moment." It's a pretentious reply that you hope he finds funny. 
He seems amused by it. "So, a moment type of girl." 
He takes a sip of his beer and you take that moment to get the bottle of wine out of your bag. He laughs at it, as if the thought of you carrying wine around is very funny to him. 
"Sure." You take a sip of your own.  "You seem very keen on figuring out what kind of girl I am."
You enhance your question by raising your eyebrows as he starts leading you to a small empty couch.  "Well, you're mysterious so I got to work with what I get." He says while sitting down and you follow, laughing because the last thing you would consider yourself is mysterious in any way.
"Trust me, you would get a lot more information if you just asked."
He nods, doing a whole scene of thinking of something to ask.  "Ok then, why psychology?" 
You almost laugh at the question because does anyone actually know why they chose their major? "I guess I like that the mind is the only thing that can understand itself." You say it in a pompous way so he knows you are not really that serious about that.  "What about you? Why did you choose business?" 
He looks forwards and moves as if to get more comfortable on the couch. It makes him get closer to you and your legs touch. "I don't know. Money, status, easier to get a job later on." 
That makes you snort. "I don't think right now getting a job is easy in any area." You pause to drink some and then say,  "You don't seem like someone who cares about those things, anyway."
He laughs just a little. "My parents do."  
By his voice you can tell he doesn't really want to talk about that. Not right now at least. 
"Well, at least when you are a famous dj the gossip magazines will be able to mention that you got a business degree you never used." 
He leans into you when he laughs.
The rest of the party is fun. You meet some of Johnny's friends that are too high to keep an actual conversation but are fun enough that you have a good time. 
Johnny makes you laugh a lot and by the time you finish your wine you feel more drunk in his presence than on the alcohol itself. 
There’s just something about Johnny’s presence that makes your legs go a little weak and your heart beat just a little faster, like you have a silly crush. He’s just funny, in a way that comes natural to him, and he makes you feel special, seeming interested in the things you say in a way that has your heart swoon. And on top of all that, like he couldn’t get any more perfect, he’s a whole 6’0 of man, all broad shoulders and always looking down at you with cute smiles.
It doesn't take you two long to reach his dorm, or for you to get on his bed. And when it’s like this, with him hovering over you, thrusting into you in a pace that has you seeing stars, the effect he has on you becomes painfully obvious.
It’s kind of embarrassing, really, how having him on top of you makes you feel so small and safe. How him hitting so deep inside when he gives you a sharp movement of his hips turns your inside into jelly. And all you can do in return is look up at him with glossy eyes and parted lips.
“God, I dreamed of fucking you.” He knows what he’s doing. Even worse, knows how to get to you with just a few words. “Do you like it, baby?” He asks, voice hoarse and lips turning into a barely not there smirk.
“Huh?” Is what you can reply with because you’re way out of it to make sense of his words. It just makes his smirk grow wider, hands moving to grip at your thighs so he can get your legs to open wider.
When he fucks into you faster, his cock hitting the spot that has you absolutely and completely losing your mind, he tries again. “Do you like how — Fuck— How big I feel?” His words are barely a groan from being just affected as you are. He sounds cocky but in a way that makes your eyes cross.
And you nod, enthusiastically so, because you do. It makes you shy, saying it out loud, but he seems well aware how much you love having him inside of you, the feeling of being full, the only thing that swims around your mind.
“Hmm, can you feel me here?” This time the question is accompanied by his palm on your lower belly, where a hint of a bulge forms when he gives you a deep thrust.
“Y-Yes.” You practically wail, body tingling from being so close. “You feel so —- Ughnnn.”
His chuckle is a mix of laughter and a moan, his lips coming down on yours in a kiss that’s as messy as it is desperate. “Are you shy, hmm? C-Can’t even say you like my cock inside of you.”
Your eyes roll to the back of your head. “Ah. I like it. I like it so much.”
He groans deep in his chest, hips still working. “You’ll drive me crazy one day, know that?"
What he doesn’t say but you know it’s true, it’s that he likes it as much as you do.
What it becomes, is something you don't know exactly how to describe. All you know is that you spend a lot of time in Johnny's dorm these days. So much that you decorated every detail from it, from the fancy music equipment to the posters on the wall.
He fucks you in every way possible and it's weird that someone could know exactly how to please you, how to get you screaming. And then the two of you talk for hours, something putting on something to watch on his notebook while sharing ice cream, other times just laying down in silence until you fall asleep. 
It's something you're not quite sure to navigate. How easy it feels when you are with him, and how right it feels. You two navigate this uncertain thing very smoothly and the need to put a name to it, asking the 'what are we' question escapes you often. 
Right now you two lay down on his small bed, bare legs touching and the thin sheet on top of you barely covers anything. It was a rare thing to feel this comfortable with someone. 
He's talking about something his mother said to him on the phone, about drinking green tea and you just listen, enjoying the sound of his voice until he stops and looks down at you with a small smile. 
"Every time I talk about my parents you get this look." He says and you make a weird face at him. 
"No I don't." You defend yourself and he chuckles. 
"You do." He accuses. "Are you analyzing my parental relationship?"
You scoff, turning around to face him better. "No. I'm just friendly, feeling sorrow because of the fact you didn't get to choose what to study." 
He looks back at you, looking soft with the late afternoon peeking in from his half closed window. "It's fine, really. I can study engine sound later on, there's no expiration. Besides, they did so much for me this is the least I can do." 
You fight the urge to point out that he doesn't really owe them anything. It was hard sometimes to make sense of the way other people navigated their parental relationships. So all you say is a small "Yeah…"
"What about your parents? What are they like?"
"I don't know. They are divorced, so I haven't really talked to my father in a while." You hope he doesn't see this as weird. Every time he talks about his family they seem so normal, that it makes you envy him a bit. You always think that if you talk about your parents, people will think you're somehow messed up because of it, so you always keep it short. Johnny doesn't seem to mind it. "My mom is cool, I guess. She's funny."
He hums "I would like to meet her someday." It sounds like a bold statement. Something that means something, but he says with an ease that makes the thought of it seem pleasant. You realize you would like that to happen as well. 
"She would like you." Is what you say with as much ease as he did. 
A comfortable silence feels the room then, with only the low sound of the fan turning filling your ears. You don't think about how the room smells like sex, or about how summer is approaching and you'll probably not be able to see each other for a while.
"Are you going home for the summer?" You decide to ask. 
 He turns to look at you again. "Yeah, what about you?"
"I'm gonna start my internship. Work on my thesis." You had talked about both these things before, how important they were for you and the mention of it makes him smile. 
"That's really nice." He says and you give him a tiny smile. 
You swallow a lump in your throat then, the 2 months you'll stay apart hitting you and you just let the words escape your mouth. "I'm gonna miss you. Really."
He says it back by kissing you, softly and then with meaning. It happens naturally after that, like there wasn't anything else that made more sense than being as close to each other as possible right now. 
When he enters you, you look up at him in what you think is awe. Your eyes hazy, barely able to keep open and lips parting in yet another moan. 
It’s a nice view, in your defense, of Johnny hovering over you, looking so big  as he fucks you so well you’re sure your second orgasm of the night is already approaching. You’re not embarrassed to say that most of the times this happens you go a little dumb in the head, your mind swimming in the gooey feeling of pleasure and all you can think about is him. Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. 
“Oh, oh… oh my god.” You sigh dreamily yet broken enough that it makes him smile when a sharp thrust makes your hips raise a little. He’s always proud of being able to get you like this, to be the only one who does so.
He hums as if agreeing with a very thorough statement, moving his arms so he can press his chest to yours as he fucks into you with calculated thrusts . You can barely move with his weight on top of you, with how he seems to lock you in place with his hips and it’s enough for another broken sob to fall from your lips.
“Good?” He asks in a groan and with a nice slide of his cock inside of you to punctuate the question. You nod frantically because he’s as deep as he can get, knows this very well, and the feeling is something that makes you flutter around him in the desperate need to come. 
He kisses your cheek then, two sweet but filthy enough with his heavy exhales against it. His pace never gets too fast, just hinting at it but he maintains a speed that leaves you on the brink of your release. But, you only reach it when he pinches your clit with his fingers, circling it until your lips part in a silent scream and you’re coming again.  
And the sounds he makes when your walls squeeze just a little more than he can handle are something else. A deep groan and a pained little sob that you find extremely endearing and hot at the same time, his face contorting as he quickened his pace just enough to push him over the edge, finally coming inside of the condom. 
“You look so pretty like this.” He’ll say afterwards when he’s still inside of you, too lazy to move as you brush the hair out of his face. 
And you’ll smile, in the way he seems to like so much, and say “You look pretty all the time” just to get him to smile at you.
 act 3: yellow light  (hit the brakes) 
The rain was predictable. It had been raining every other day the entire month, on your way to work early in the morning you always ended up stepping on a pool and ruining your entire day because of your wet socks.
Not a lot of the people you knew had a car, or would willing to go out of their way to give you a lift. Your finger had hovered on top of Johnny’s contact for a while, not out of confidence that he would help you because you knew he would. But you hadn't really talked since summer started. There were random interactions, like replying to one of his instagram stories commenting on how intelectual posting pictures at The Louvre made him look and him making a joke about it or sharing a trivia about french people. 
Besides, bothering people made you uncomfortable, as if that somehow put you in debt and in a state of vulnerability with the person.
But Johnny doesn’t look like he’s going to hold a grudge against you over a lift. Instead, when you apologize for making him come all the way there, he says “I was in the area anyway.”
Which you doubt, but you don’t say anything so you just smile and thank him again.
It's somehow weird that you don't even expect him to mention what happened last term. You fight the urge to say it out loud, mention a small detail about the whole thing  just for him to laugh and somehow confirm to you that it really happened. It scared you sometimes how things were so momentary, as if life was supposed to be just a collection of things you would remember about and feel sad about. 
But it’s easy with Johnny, had been from the start. In a way that makes you think that some people are really meant to meet if only for a moment.
You had expected the casual friendship you had with the other friends you had met at college to fade slowly, which had happened. Without the bond of parties and fun there wasn’t much left there, and that was fine, you were never really lonely because you didn’t have a lot of time to be. Your mind was also set in a routine and state of tiredness that anything out of that seemed to set it in a frenzy and it would just shut down, making it hard to make conversation naturally.
Work was usually quiet, but sometimes the girl that was also accepted for the internship would try to strike conversation about her thesis and while she was talking your gaze would be focused forward while your mind went somewhere else. She never pointed that out, probably because she just wanted to talk and not really listen. You were fine with that.
But with Johnny the silence is not the kind that makes you wonder if you should say something. You think that if you were to get in a daze right now he would try to pull you out, ask what you were daydreaming about, or maybe that’s you building your other life, the one you think about before going to sleep.
You watch the window wipe, swiping away the raindrops as Johnny picks a song. It’s just a little past 6 but the clouds make it look much later.
“How is the internship going?” Johnny asks after he sets on a song you don’t really know.
You shrug. Not long ago you had told him how excited you were for this, as if you thought your life would start with this idealized career you had created in your mind. At the time having to watch people your age sign forms about how depressed they are didn’t seem that bad. “It’s fine, not that busy at night so I get to work on my thesis when they give me those shifts.”
That involves a lot of reading multiple times the same page of articles written by pretentious men that think using difficult sentences makes them smarter. You think your advisor expects the same from you, fancy nomenclature but the human mind is already complicated enough by itself.
“And how is that going?” Johnny has no idea what you’re writing about, no one actually does. Sometimes you even doubt yourself, does it really matter to talk about something that feels so specific to your reality? Because it does seem like everyone else is doing a good job at living and not feeling like they are disconnected from reality.
You scoff and shake your head missing the way his lips corners lift just a little. “The best way it can, I suppose.”
“Good enough.” He says in his cheerful voice. “When are you going to become that kind of person that can't stop talking about what they are studying?"
That makes you laugh a little. If there was something you were familiar with, it was people who loved to talk about their thesis as if they would come up with the solution to all of the world's problems. "I don't think that really suits me." Just mentioning it made you actually a little sick.
"Yeah, because you are mysterious and all."
And there it is. Just this small reference to a past conversation you had with him, alone in your small dorm room, makes you feel giddy. You could even blush if you thought hard enough about it. 
"Exactly, a box of surprises." You say, in a funny voice and his laugh makes you smile. 
Outside the rain is still going strong and you can see students running around trying to find shelter while laughing and using their backpacks as improvised umbrellas. The sky is completely dark now and it makes you want to be in bed, safe and sound. 
You go to ask Johnny about his summer in France, but he beats you to it. He had always been better at conversations, anyway.
"I saw that friend of yours, Ela I think." He mentions casually.  "She's dating a friend of mine."
You knew that because of the numerous pictures on your instagram feed, but for some reason you pretend to be mildly surprised "Oh really? I haven't really talked to her in awhile." A shrug. "We don't have much in common, turns out." 
He hums sympathetically. "Yeah that makes sense. But they both seem happy."
"Yeah." The topic doesn't really interest you. You can't barely remember a time where your past friends' love lives had any affect on you, now it's just a piece of information you'll forget about in a few hours. 
"What about you, seeing anyone at the moment?" The question makes you raise both your eyebrows as you let out a laugh that sounds suspicious. It's a weird thing for him to ask but at the same time not really. 
You sigh and he looks at you with a funny face, as if he's amused. I don't think I have the energy for that. What about you?" 
He shrugs, turning his face to the front again. "Not really."
Months ago you think you would have made a flirty commentary about that. Something along the lines of 'That's good, I get jealous easily.' and it would have made him laugh. But now you just hum, not out of interest but because you are not sure how you would react to the potential outcome. 
It should've felt obvious that he would somehow mention your relationship. You always thought that when you two talked about it, it would be bringing up the months you would see each other every day, and how you spend more time at his place than at your own. But what he says is, "Remember when you refused me?" 
He says it in a funny voice, like old friends reminiscing on the past. You get confused with the pace of the conversations and ask "What?" 
"At McDonalds. I asked you out and you said 'We'll see about it.'" He says it laughing, which means he's not hurt by that. 
"I didn't think you remembered that." You mutter, because you really didn't. "And please, I wasn't rejecting you." 
The last part is a lie. At the time you didn't think he was serious about it. Now, you don't know exactly what you think.
"Right, right. When you put me down nicely."
That makes you roll your eyes, laughing alongside him. "Yeah, right." 
When the laugh dies down you watch as he taps his fingers on the steering wheel. You feel a weird sensation in your chest. 
"Why did you?" He asks, voice not much more serious but the question has weight that his past sentences didn't have. 
You could tell him the truth, of what kind of person you thought he was and how that changed. You definitely couldn't open up about what kind of person you were. So you settle for this: "I don't know, I think.. I mean, I'm not sure we would have worked out back then." 
He hums loudly, then clicks his tongue.  "Yeah. I don't know either." His voice is soft then, mixing perfectly with the muted rain sound and the song still playing. "You can never know."
You turn your face to look at him. There's no way to do it without him noticing that you are staring, but you do it without a hint of shame.
If you thought about it hard enough, about everything that happened, you would still not be able to point out exactly what would have happened if something more serious took place. And that's a weird thing to think about, because there was never a point in your relationship where neither of you decided it was meant to be casual, that's just how it turned out to be. 
Later at night you will think about how there's nothing really casual about the way you can perfectly picture Johnny when you close your eyes, laying on your bed shirtless, hair a mess and face illuminated by the sun peaking out your window. How there's nothing casual at all about the fact that it has never felt like it did with anyone else.
But now, you just look at him with your heart ready to burst and you say. " We should watch a movie together someday."  
He laughs, looks at you for a second and says "Yeah, we should."
act 4: what’s going on? 
You didn’t feel particularly fond of mondays. Having to let go of the leisureliness of the weekend behind and welcome another week ahead never felt like a good idea when your phone alarm would start ringing at 7am.
It's not that the weekend was much better than that. All you ever did was read books that made your head ache for hours and then write never ending paragraphs that you hoped would make sense for anyone besides yourself. It was easy to become some sort of alienated when you stayed focused inside your room for so long, and having to remember that there was a whole life outside was a little painful. 
When you walk inside the clinic the sound of the coffee machine being turned on reaches your ears and you mutter a small good morning to the psychiatrist that usually took the morning shifts. She was tall and always looked put together with a blazer jacket and red lipstick. Her friendly face made you suspicious for some reason. 
"Good weekend?" She asks as you place your things on the front desk and you spare a smile to make her think you are interested in talking about your weekend. 
"Yeah, sure." You turn on the old computer they got for you to use. A blue screen greets your eyes, then it glitches for a second like it always does. "What about you?"
It might sound like you're not a very nice person if you say you don't really care how her weekend went. Or that you would wish the conversation would have stopped at the greeting. But you really don't. These days talking to people takes a lot of effort and most of the time you wish you'd be just swallowed by silence and left alone. 
"It was great, thank you." She says while adding sugar to her coffee. You are sitting down now and she turns to look at you with a sympathetic face. "Listen, I have a free spot this morning, if you'd like to talk a little." 
You blink slowly, taking a moment to process the words she said, but it really doesn't take a genius to understand she's offering you counseling. Most likely because she thinks you need it. 
And you're not about to argue that you don't, because you more than anything else know that you do, but you feel like you're not ready for it yet. As if you have things to figure out first. "Oh, that's very nice of you to offer." You say, uncertain how exactly to handle this. "But I have some things to get done."
The lie is accepted easily but she still raises her eyebrow a little. Still, she says. "Alright, then. Just remember I'm one door away."
You thank her, smiling politely until she finally leaves to her office. The computer is still loading and you let out another deep sigh, considering drinking a cup of coffee but deciding against it to not trouble your anxiety any more.
What happens next couldn't possibly be predicted. You take your phone out of your bag and open instagram out of habit, to pass some time. Johnny's profile is still the first one that shows up on the stories board, probably from all the time you spent messaging each other in the past. 
It had been a while since you two talked to each other, but you kept up with his whereabouts from looking at the pictures he posted with friends and of random things. More often than not you fought the urge to reply to them, as if you didn't really know each other anymore. 
You don't expect to see him with a girl when you click on his photo. But there he is, with arms around her and a single heart. You tap on to the next one and it's a repost from someone else's instagram, of a picture of him and the girl kissing while laughing. 
There's a few words you can use to describe how you feel. Your heart drops and you go cold, blinking very slowly as the pictures change to another person's stories and for a second it's like it didn't happen. Like it was just a trick of the eye. 
Would it be silly to cry over this? You think it would so you take a deep breath and try to not think about it anymore. 
It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that you probably loved him. Or at least felt a deep kind of infatuation. Sometimes at night you lay in bed and wonder what exactly went wrong and you can't really find an answer to that. It just naturally happened. 
Maybe you should have said something, maybe if you did things would've stayed the same. You wish that at the time you knew what to say but now it was a little too late. 
You stare at your blank ceiling, your skin tingling where it touches you sheets. Looking at couples always made you feel weird, with jealousy maybe because you never thought that was something for you. Being in love has always been something that other people got to experience, and you got to watch it but never try it for yourself. 
Maybe there was something wrong with how you worked, how you viewed this whole thing. You wish you knew what so you could fix it.
Sometimes when you close your eyes you imagine someone wrapping arms around you, with a familiar cologne that makes you feel at home. the person doesn’t complain when you hug them tighter, probably knows this is what you need.
You think of all the men you had dated, the ones who disappeared out of nowhere and the ones who treated you like shit because you allowed it. You didn't really know how it really had to work until you met Johnny.
It had never felt like that. Gentle and soft and easy. 
How to separate true loneliness from the mere need to feel something, to have someone want you? That’s a trick question and you think about it until you fall asleep.  
For you last month in college, you don’t do much. 
The internship ends with the old lady that was in charge of the clinic telling you what an amazing job you did, and how she knows for sure you will exceed in the area. She writes a beautiful recommendation letter, mentions a few professional names and then sends you away. 
A week before its deadline you send out your finished thesis to your advisor, after spending half an hour staring at your email until you can press send. You got a reply two hours later with pleasantries and a date for your final presentation. 
As you wait for it there's nothing a lot to do. Some days you walk around campus without a real destination in mind, stopping by the cafeteria and the library on your way. There's not many people around this time of the year, most have gone already and the ones that stayed spend time rehearsing for presentations or hanging out with friends.
You get texts from people you haven't talked to in months, wishing you good luck and inviting you to parties that you attend once or twice just to get one last taste of it. 
It’s weird that you don’t feel the deep sense of realization you thought you would. You lay down on the small bed you slept on for two years, stare at the empty walls of your dorm now that you’ve put all your things away, and you feel almost normal. Sure there’s a little ball of emptiness and excitement on your stomach alongside pride for finishing this and for having grown up so much since freshman year. But besides that you just feel normal. 
Maybe this is what being alive is, experiencing life changing moments and not feeling like they mean much. Maybe some moments are just meant to be remembered as special, and not lived as such. 
Your presentation goes well, you don’t trip over your words and your teachers compliment your great work afterwards. You cry, in front of a bunch of people you don’t know, and let out a deep breath of relief. 
Ten days later you graduate, wearing the usual attire and walking on stage with a smile on your face when your name is called. No one screams your name or cheers loudly because plane tickets were too expensive for your parents to attend. The claps from your classmates are still nice. 
You don’t expect to see Johnny there, but he shows up wearing a suit that looks alien compared to the clothes he wears daily. He looks good, familiar and it makes a lump form on your throat.
You hadn’t really talked to each other in a while. It had been a natural thing to happen, for the two of you to fall a little apart. But still, when he waves at you, you make your way to him easily. 
“Finally got your ticket out of this place, huh?” He jokes with a smile on his lips that you can’t help but mimic. 
“Yeah, I’m finally free.” You joke back. 
You inhale softly when he hugs you, so close that you can hear his heartbeat. He surrounds you with him and you think you would drown right now if he allowed you to. “Congratulations, ____.” He says quietly, almost whispering your name.
You’re both smiling when you part. “Soon it’ll be you.” 
Before he can reply a familiar face makes her way to where you two are. Johnny circles her waist when she gets close enough and you fight as to not let your smile fall. He introduces her as his girlfriend, a biomedicine student that smiles big when she congratulates you on graduating and expresses how she can’t wait for her turn to come. 
She’s very pretty is what you keep thinking about as you make small talk that feels a little painful. 
After some time Johnny says “Well, we should leave you to go talk to your family. It was really nice to see you, ____.”
His words sound genuine and you smile when he hugs you again. 
You don’t tell them there’s not really anyone you know for you to talk to. Instead, you walk to your dorm with your heels clicking on the asphalt. 
act 5: old friend / late spring
Your feet hurt a little from standing too much and not even the coldness of the beer you’re having can make you ignore it. 
The truth is that you really wanted to be home right now, eating leftovers while you watched a movie. But instead, you’re in the bar your colleagues always attended after work to share a laugh and complain about mundane things while enjoying the 2 for 1 deal they had on friday for happy hour. 
Working in an office with people wearing suits hadn’t been what you had envisioned  yourself doing two years after graduating. You had always dreamt of having your own clinic, becoming a therapist or even working at a hospital. But times were hard and the human relations department of a marketing company had been what you had to go for. 
It’s not as boring as it sounds, and you get to know about every gossip firsthand so you settle for it very easily. But having to be at a bar after a whole tiring week was not on your favorites list.
You excuse yourself from the group when they start talking about something you were tired of hearing. A gossip about the boss sleeping with someone from the finance department that you knew about months ago. 
You walk to the bar, cursing your heels until you finally sit on a stool, ordering another beer that you know is gonna be your last before you decide to escape. There’s loud conversation happening all around you and a song playing over it. Your back hurts a bit and you wonder when life has become so mundane. 
Lost in your thoughts, you don’t notice the man that sits right next to you until he’s ordering a beer and the voice seems familiar. 
Your heart jumps out of your chest when you look at him and Johnny stands there in all his glory, with blonde hair and a very fancy suit. “Oh my fucking god.” Is the only thing you manage to mumble.
For a second you think you might be dreaming, but when he turns and looks at you his face contorts in the most amusing expression of surprise. 
Maybe this is what being alive is, experiencing life changing moments and not feeling like they mean much. Maybe some moments are just meant to be remembered as special, and not lived as such. 
The two of you hug while laughing and he keeps muttering something that sounds like a ‘no way.’
“I can’t believe this! What are you doing here?” You ask excitedly and he laughs. 
“I’m working on a office a few blocks from here.” He explains. “Just started a few days ago.” 
“I work around here too.” You exclaim and it’s like you could buzz from how excited you feel about this. 
You talk about things easily, both sharing what you have been doing for the past years. 
“This is crazy. I haven’t heard from you since college.” He says and it makes you freeze, blinking slowly but it doesn’t last long until you are covering your surprise by chuckling. Suddenly you’re hit with memories from those years and everything that happened between the two of you. Your eyes meet his and it strikes you that he’s probably thinking the same thing as you are. 
You shake your thoughts away, leaning on the counter with one elbow and then resting your face on your palm. “Who would’ve thought we would reunite after those years in a sketchy bar.” You joke, in a playful tone to keep the conversation going. 
He chuckles, bringing his hand to his face before he replies. “I would have never guessed this was your kind of scene.” 
The way he says it makes you snort. “It’s definitely not.” 
“Yeah.” He nods while laughing, “Still a moment kind of girl then?”
You nod then, making an amused sound while you take a sip of your beer. “Seems to me like you still got me all figured out.” 
“Do I? I used to think that I did but after all it happened I wasn’t so sure anymore.” He says avoiding your eyes a little and a lump forms on your throat. “To be honest I don’t really understand what happened.” 
You nod, turning to face him. “I think it wasn’t the right time.” It’s what you decide to say and he hums. 
“When is ever the right time for anything?” He asks and it makes you laugh loudly. 
You share a look then, one that says more than you could ever do with words. He smiles and then you smile back, like old friends would. “Maybe we met again for a reason.” 
Deep down, you know this is one of those moments happening. One that you’ll look back on the future and remember that it is where it all began. Again.
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