#this was in response to chaotic bisexual wasn't it?

[blubushie]

Are there some things you dislike about fans' interpretation of the other mercs?

Yeah uh. This is long so it's under the cut. Whole TF2 fandom boutta be like 2Fort on my arse.

I hate how people make Medic "evil". He's fun and goofy and likes doing experiments and he'll betray the people paying him for the sake of his long-time coworkers who he's mates with. He's not evil, he's not manipulative, outsmarting the LITERAL DEVIL doesn't make you a bad person. There is literally nothing in canon to point to Medic being evil except MAYBE stealing a bloke's spine (coulda been dark humour for all we know) and turning a criminal into a sentient pumpkin, which is something that Engie HELPED HIM DO but no one goes around calling him evil. Medic is chaotic good or chaotic neutral, he is not evil.

The amount of people who are downright racist about Demo, or the amount of people who reduce his addiction to the butt of a joke. There's a lot of shit that I notice. They act like Demo isn't fiercely loyal—look at his relationship to his mum). They act like he's lazy because he's an alcoholic—HE HAS 3 JOBS AND WANTS MORE, HE WASN'T LAZY IN THE COMICS HE WAS DEPRESSED BECAUSE HE LOST ALL HIS MATES. On the other end of the coin, you have people insisting that Demo's alcoholism isn't as bad as it actually is, as if substance abuse is a fucking moral failing and they can't have their blorbo be a bad person by just letting him be the alcoholic he's shown to be in canon.

As an intersex man: do not get me fucking started on the amount of intersex+NB headcanons I've seen of Pyro. People need to realise that like the rest of the human population, most intersex people are cis, that gender is not equivalent to sex, and that EVERY intersex character being non-binary promotes a harmful stereotype. Actually I'll be honest—I side-eye EVERY intersex Pyro headcanon what's made by a perisex person. Most the time they give off massive virtue signal vibes and I really don't like how the second you can't clearly determine someone's gender people immediately go "ah, intersex" like we're all visually androgynous. I also don't like how the person MOST OTHERED ON THE TEAM is always given the intersex headcanon. It doesn't make me feel represented, it makes me feel like everyone already seems me as an other and that's all I'll ever be.

People who act like the pronoun police and insist Pyro's pronouns are they/them. Canonically Pyro is always and consistently referred to as he/him except when he's being dehumanised by his own team and called it. It's cool if you headcanon Pyro as using they/them, just remember it ISN'T CANON and you shouldn't be getting on people's arse about non-canon pronouns. What are you a cop?

On a similar vein, the amount of people who infantilise Pyro. Pyro was literally the CEO OF A COMPANY who was responsible for RECORD PROFITS OF THAT COMPANY. Pyro is an adult. People assume that because Pyro hallucinates or enjoys "childish" things that it means Pyro's a child. Please be fucking normal about mental illness, my god.

People who make Scout transfem for the sole purpose of shipping Scout with Pauling, worse even if they outright make it so that Scout transitioned SPECIFICALLY to hook up with Pauling. You realise that you're enforcing TERF "all transfems are predatory and transition just to get chicks/transfem lesbians are just straight men" rhetoric right? Please tell me you're aware. People who make Scout transfem for reasons beside this (ie you just like transfem Scout) and still hook her up with Pauling for fun, I love you and this post is not about you. <3

People who ignore Medic's likely bisexuality in favour of writing him as a strictly gay male. Bi erasure is fucking real lads. If you have the view that Demo was talking out his arse and didn't actually shag Medic's wife cuz he's not even married, cool ok. I'm talking about the people who insist Medic's wife was his beard.

People who act like the ship police with Pauling's sexuality when her being a lesbian was something mentioned in one tweet on Twitter by Jay, not approved by Valve, and never referenced in the source material (outside of MAYBE how she stared at Zhanna while she was fighting robots, but that facial expression could also be interpreted as impressed or "so horrified she can't look away". Especially when she outright agreed to go on a second date with Scout in Expiration Date. If you headcanon her as a lesbian, cool! Just don't enforce it on other people and give them flak for shipping her with non-women characters. This applies to people aggressively enforcing Medic's sexuality as well. What are you a cop?

How the character people trans the most is the white skinny twink, white skinny otter, or white wolf. Why not Demo? Trans people of colour exist too. I can count the trans Demo headcanons I've seen on one hand. Why not Heavy? Why not Heavy? You know fat trans people exist too right?

My family is southern and half the time people don't know what the fuck goes on down south. Tell me you've never been to a cookout without telling me you've never been to a cookout. They either write him as too northern/coasty and only enforce the "stereotype" southern aspects of him, or they write him as racist/homophobic/transphobic/etc because he's southern. Luckily the latter gets a LOT of pushback on Tumblr so I haven't seen it much, but it's more prevalent on Twitter and fanfic sites.

People conveniently ignoring how Heavy's father was killed and his family was imprisoned by the USSR so they can call him a communist. Lol what. I get that you hate capitalism but you realise there's more options than just capitalism vs communism vs socialism right? That you can hate/dislike communism without also being a capitalist? Heavy would not support communism after what the USSR did to his family in the name of communism because his father was a counter-revolutionary. Also people ignoring WHY Heavy's father was killed, and how his father having different politics got his whole family, including innocent children chucked to a GULAG IN SIBERIA where they were starved and constantly abused by the guards, and how even after their escape the government continued to hunt them with the intent of killing them. He would not be a communist. He probably sees a hammer and sickle in his fucken nightmares.

Spy being evil and an arsehole. You know his schtick is the suave gentleman right? He's cool but he also has to be cringefail. And arsehole is a far cry from a gentleman.

People making Soldier a bigot. Har har I know it's funny to joke about the bloke obsessed with America being a bigot, but do you honestly think he cares enough? He's xenophobic at worst. Everyone is assumed to be American and his best mate is a black Scottish cyclops. Half the time I'm convinced you people want Soldier to be a bigot so you can write bigoted shit and not cop shit cuz it's coming out of his mouth.

Carrying on from prev, the amount of people I've seen use the time setting as an excuse to be bigoted towards the characters. This is ESPECIALLY prevalent where it seems like every story-focussed fic of Demo has a scene where someone is being racist to him and he Heroically Sticks Up For Himself or someone else sticks up for him to show How Much They Don't Care About Being Seen With A Black Man (usually it's Soldier, sometimes it's Sniper). You realise everyone knows racism is bad, right? That that's really not necessary? It wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't in EVERY FIC but it's like the author always needs to proudly claim themselves Not Racist while writing REALLY RACIST SHIT directed at the ONE CONFIRMABLE MAN OF COLOUR on the team just so they can yell "RACISM BAD but here's me jumping at the opportunity to call a man of colour a racial slur".

Well, reckon that about covers her...

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I was thinking, perhaps too deeply, about The Man Who Would Be King and October. This because both seem, to me, to have one very important aspect in common: at the beginning there is a clear relationship that is central, and possibly romantic, but is later deplaced by a completely different one (yet, the first one still holds some importance, enough to cause some jealousy or friction). Because in The Man Who Would Be King there is an obvious interest, at the beginning, to explore the relationship between Tom and Lily. I wasn't sure if it was to be a romantic one, and if it was from the beginning is arguably the slowest slow burn imaginable (since Lily has to forego her ideals, forgive Tom murdering and being responsible for the deaths of friends and her husband, as well as some other issues). Yet, while that potential romance has not died entirely, it has been replaced by one I prefer and find more interesting, this time the one between Tom and Alphard.

And, here is the thing, it made me think of October. Where you were very blatant about being a Tomarry fic on the author notes, yet, the fic itself made it very clear the most important romance was between Lily and Tom. Harry, or Azrael, slowly lost relevancy, and became far more antagonistic and less, well, passional. Their romance seem to dwindle a lot, even if both of them accepted it as something inevitable (as they were both immortals).

And is an interesting parallel for both fics to have, because I'm not sure it was intentional for neither. After all, while Alphard did appear on the fic quite early, he was a background character until the assassination attempt, after that he stole the readers' hearts. And while I see Tom, as Alphard does, having an oblivious crush on Lily, I also feel like the inclusion of Alphard did make the fic change its focus from Lily and Tom potential romance to the one between Alphard and Tom. Mostly, because the romance is more viable (for the characters, at least), since the one between Lily and Tom requires a huge transformation of character from them both, while the one between Tom and Alphard seems already finding some soil to stand on (although I'm very well aware there is a lot to be done before they get together for real, if they ever do).

There is, however, an interesting contrast between the two fics: Tom. Tom is completely different in both fics. In one he neve gains political power, and stops doing things that could be considered evil. On the contrary, he is a very reputable citizen, or would be of it wasn't for his lack of status and because he married his 40 years younger student. While on the other fic Tom is Voldemort, has killed willingly and repeatedly, and showed little to no remorse about it. The Lily romancing October's Tom and The Man Who Would Be King's Tom are completely different women. But it begs the question, perhaps, how different would October be if you got to rewrite it or to write it now? Because I strongly suspect Alphard would be a part of it, and the whole romance dynamic of the fic would change entirely. It would be, at the very least, more angsty and chaotic for sure. Yet, it does make me wonder how it would go.

Now, given what I know of your and Vinelle's fic repertoire, it could be possible this time it could end up as a poly. An impossible thing on October (not just because of the incest, but also because neither Harry/Azrael nor Lily would ever allow it), but scaringly likely on The Man Who Would Be King. After all, the romantic tension between Tom and Lily is there, as well as a potential betrothal between Alphard and Lily has been discussed. Of course, I feel like Alphard is gay on his entirety, not bisexual, so I see the poly being more of a V kind of relationship rather than a true triad if it ever came to happen.

All of this to say, I'm very curious about what is going to happen with the three of them on the fic. I must admit, however, that Alphard won my heart so strongly I prefer him over the other two, which surprises me since he is barely canon to begin with. I guess it does speak of how good you write him, since he is very dear to my heart (not only on this fic, I also love him on Amulette d'Amour).

Maybe this is a very mistaken analysis, but I wanted to share it nonetheless, just to hear what you think (of course, I do recognize that some aspects of this analysis involve predictions, so I understand you not expanding on those points because of spoilers).

In an unrelated note, the mystery aspect of the fic is really good, and all my theories end up being proven wrong at some point, or in some manner. I'm seriously intrigued by how the mystery (or mysteries) is going to be solved, at the end.

October by me and The Man Who Would Be King by me and @therealvinelle

Very interesting analysis, anon! I don't think I'm going to confirm or deny anything (not the least because of potential spoilers).

Look, @therealvinelle, a lot of praise!

[iamapoopmuffin]

Reflection

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3 Characters: Astarion, Tav/OC Relationships: Astarion/Tav

Astarion has long since forgotten what, exactly, he looks like. His boyfriend wishes he had a way to share exactly how he looks to him, and one night thinks he may have figured out just how to do it.

[Using my player character for BG3, Jacquimo, a half-orc bard uneducated street urchin disaster bisexual aligned chaotic neutral-chaotic good.]

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54702118

As much as Jacquimo would have liked to have said it was a quiet, peaceful evening, the fact was their bed and board above the Elfsong Tavern was typically anything but. Between the lingering vampire spawn blood housekeeping hadn't been able to get out of the furnishings (for which he claimed to be very sorry) leaving a bit of a smell in the air and a stickiness on the floor that he would rather not think about, and the sounds of the raucous drunks below either enjoying themselves or drowning their sorrows, it made for...quite the atmosphere, to put it lightly. Still, compared to what the half-orc was used to, this was heaven. He'd all but forgotten what it felt like to sleep in a proper bed, and the streets had always been plenty noisy as well.

Sat on his bed, scribbling away in an old notebook, everything else faded out to a strange ambience. This had always been Jacquimo's element. As a bard, he excelled in spinning stories and conveying tales through word, song and poem. Over his years, he'd written and performed many a yarn, ode or sonnet, and some of them were even halfway decent pieces. He'd never had such inspiration like that gifted to him by his most recent journey though. This past week alone he had written so much, the stories and legacies of his new friends, songs on hardship and survival, music he could hear the notes of carried on the wind. One particular piece had been a problem for him, however.

It was a simple poem, words spun like silk to form a painting in your head. An Ode To A Star, he called it, and he had been working on it ever since Astarion told him he could no longer remember his own face. Karlach had suggested someone draw his portrait, but Jacquimo had never been good at that. So he tried to write it. Descriptive art to show his favourite person, the love of his life, exactly how he looked to him.

Let me be your mirror

Let me show you through my eyes

The most beautiful a being

The gods ever did devise

Let me show you every detail

Every wrinkle, every scar

Utter drivel, all of it. Resisting the urge to rip the page out, crumple the paper and throw it aside, Jacquimo cast his gaze to the window, thinking. What could he possibly say to truly convey what he needed to? Words would never be a true substitute for actually being able to see himself. And the wrong words would just cause upset. Mentions of wrinkles, for one, even if they were something Jacquimo liked about his lover. Character. Experience. All part of one damned gorgeous man.

Eyes flitting between the words on the page and the dark night outside, he paused when he caught sight of his own reflection in the glass.

Let me be your mirror.

If only it was that simple. If only he could truly show Astarion exactly what he saw when he looked at him. It wasn't like he could be like the glass in that window. It wasn't like Astarion could really see through his eyes.

Wait.

Except he could, couldn't he?

Jacquimo snapped the notebook shut and looked across the room, at each of his companions. Those who shared the tadpole infection were able to connect their minds together, weren't they? He remembered seeing himself through Lae'zel's eyes on the Nautiloid. Seeing Astarion's memory of watching him walk through the confines of the pod. Giving him his memories of breaking free of his own pod in response. Seeing paths carved through the hells through the eyes of Wyll and Karlach. The tadpole connection allowed them to see through each other's eyes, see thoughts and memories, feel what each other felt.

An idea in his head, the bard placed his notebook back in his pack and got to his feet, making his way over to where Astarion had set up. He clearly heard his lover's approach, as he closed the book he was reading, looking up to meet his eyes. "Always a pleasure to see you sauntering over. Did you need something, my dear?"

"I had a thought. Or an epiphany."

There was a subtle twitch up of the vampire's lips. "Using that brain of yours, are we?"

"I know, I know, a rare novelty. Really, though, I think I might have figured something out. How I can show you your face again."

A nearly imperceptible shift in his eyes. Interest. Curiosity. Hope? "Really now? Well, I have to say, you know how to pique my interest, darling." His voice held no sarcasm, the thought of seeing his face once more undeniably enticing.

"It's rather obvious in hindsight." Jacquimo mused, more to himself, before addressing the elf properly. "I can't promise you'll like it, but it's an option if you want to use it. The tadpoles. They give us that connection, allow us to see each other's memories. You could look into my memories, or perhaps even see through my eyes now. See yourself."

He froze, processing the words. It seemed almost ludicrous, but he was right, everything he said was right. "You would let me into your head, just to see my face? You'd let me just...poke around inside your mind like that? I could find anything in there."

"I would." He didn't even hesitate. "I trust you. I would trust you with my mind any time. And I want to do something for you."

Astarion reached up, ghosting his fingers across the bard's cheek, his voice coming out soft and vulnerable. "You have already done many things for me, you know."

"Then what's one more thing?"

"And you trust me far more than you should. It isn't wise, darling."

"Who ever said I was wise?"

Astarion retracted his hand, glancing around to ensure none of the others were eavesdropping. When he spoke, it was quiet, and completely serious. No teasing, no lighthearted foppery, no sarcasm. "And you're sure about this? About letting me into your head? I...I don't want you feeling you have to do this. You are far too self sacrificing, do far too much for others, I don't want to do this unless you're entirely comfortable with this. This is your mind we're talking about, every inner personal part of you. Just...please tell me you're sure about this."

Jacquimo nodded, confident. "I'm sure. You're only looking at my memories of your face, that's all I'm showing you. I trust you not to go anywhere I don't want you going, and I think I know how to keep people out of things when I need to - I was able to block Z'rell, Minthara and even the Emperor out of certain thoughts, and they were trying to dig into things I didn't want them seeing. I think even with the connection active we can respect each other's privacy just fine, I don't think either of us have been ones to pry. I wouldn't offer this if I wasn't sure. As much as I joke that I am an idiot, I do think things through, you know. For the most part, anyway."

A smile graced those beautiful features. He so wanted to see his face again, to remember that part of himself long forgotten, and it seemed this reward was worth the risk. Jacquimo had a way with words, of making him feel like it would be okay if only he put his faith in him, and it seemed it was time to put his faith in him again. "Then yes, darling. I would like to try it. It's about time I saw how beautiful I really am, after all."

The decision made, the bard gently reached out and took the rogue's hands, eyes meeting and holding each other's gaze as they opened that connection, reaching out with the squirming, wriggling tadpoles within, a power none too pleasant, but this time for a worthwhile cause.

And then there he was, right where he could see himself.

Astarion turned his head this way and that, taking in every inch of his own face as seen through his lover's eyes. Jacquimo let him in, focusing on memories, on that face. On the line of his jaw, the bow of his lips, the curve of his brow. On delicate lashes framing piercing red eyes that could grow so round, almost doe-like under the right circumstances. The laugh lines that made themselves known during moments of joy, the way the edges of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. Soft curls framing pointed ears, almost shining when the light hits them just right. And not just the way he looked when happy, but sad as well. When he cried, or knew he'd gone too far, when fear and anxiety took hold. The way anger could peel his lips back in a snarl. Baring fangs in threat. That first meeting, that look of suspicion. Plotting looks, teasing glances, moments of internal conflict. Everything. Every part of him, of who he is, of who he was. Every fine detail. Everything he'd lost and forgotten in all those years of torment. Bringing a hazy, indistinct image into focus, making it clear once more.

Letting himself be the mirror Astarion wanted, needed, for as long as he wanted or needed.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

I know it is only anybodys guessing really, and I truly do not want to sound like 'the historian' but you would go as far as calling these relationships of napoleon 'homoerotic'? Why? Couldn't it be the case of him having just very warm attitude and be close to his friends like that?

Again nothing against it, but I needed to ask since I as well am the person to get alike towards my close friends and I don't feel it having any attraction undertones.

Thank you for the ask! As usual for me, my response got really long.

I mean correct! It’s literally anyone’s guess. Who knows? Certainly not me! Certainly no one who is alive right now!

I’m just a queer on the internet having fun who sees Napoleon and goes "ah yes, a chaotic bisexual even though the concept of modern sexual identity wasn't a thing in his time etc. etc. [insert all the other usual disclaimers required on this webbedsite]" so that's why.

[How do I know he’s a chaotic bi? Well, it’s very simple, he couldn’t sit properly in a chair, liked to sit on his secretaries’ laps, pull their ears, and tell them Fun Facts he learned that day, and wanted to make the tsar of Russia his mistress. He also dearly loved Josephine and wrote about how he liked going down on her. This is clear proof that he was a chaotic bi king and we should be so lucky to know this about him. ;)]

I'm also a writer who likes to slap a queer lens onto most things because that's how I role and I'm very unapologetic about it. Which most people who follow me know.

I’m also someone who has incredibly deep, intimate friendships with a close selection of people in my life that are not romantic/sexual or whatever in their nature—but they are incredibly intimate. They are friendships where partners of my friends have been jealous and insecure because of how close we are—which is a them problem, not an us problem.

I would go so far as to argue that friends are more likely to slot into that problematic category of “soulmate” than anyone romantic (ymmv). And from the outside, I’m sure people might read my friendships with a few people (have read them, in fact) as romantic/homoerotic and frankly I don’t care. Whatever. I know what my friendships are, why does it matter what other people read them as? More to the point, why does it matter that someone reads a dead person’s friendships as homo-something? How does that impact my friendships which may, or may not, mirror that dead person’s friendships? Who cares? One should love one’s friends however one wishes to. Fuck everything else.

--

In an effort to avoid the Great Queer Napoleon Discourse War of 2013-14 I shall include a disclaimer because hot damn do people get REALLY uppity about this: I’m a writer, first and foremost in all things. I’m not a historian. As noted above, I’m a queer fag on the internet having fun. Take what I say with a grain of salt.

(Honestly, doing anything with Napoleon’s sexuality aside from He Was the Straightest Straight Who Ever Straighted, gets everyone’s hackles raised. I think that says more about those with hackles up than it does the person going: maybe he might have had a bit of a queerness about him, it’s not implausible.)

--

Some general stuff on Napoleon & That Doesn’t Seem Entirely Straight, Even For the 18th and 19th Century:

From Cronin’s biography on Napoleon:

“Napoleon found that his friendships with men often began with physical attraction, and this took a curious form. ‘He told me,’ says Caulcaincourt, ‘…that for him the heart was not the organ of sentiment; that he felt emotions only where most men experience feelings of a different kind; nothing in the heart, everything in the loins and in another place, which I leave nameless.’ 

The feeling Napoleon described as ‘a sort of painful tingling, a nervous irritability…the squeaking of a saw sometimes gives me the same sensation’.”

In addition, Talleyrand speculated Napoleon and Bourienne were, uh, intimate in all senses of the word. Talleyrand, of course, well—one should treat his hot takes with some caution.

There is also the (in)famous letter Napoleon wrote to Josephine about Alexander where he said that he and Alexander were inordinately pleased with one another and if the tsar were a woman, he’d take Alexander as his mistress (Napoleon, honey, don’t write that to your wife).

I mean, do what you want with that. Take it for what it’s worth /shrug

---

Of the three friendships under discussion: Lannes, Duroc, Junot—I always read Lannes and Napoleon’s friendship as just friendship. Duroc and Junot though. That’s where we start getting into arguments for a homoerotic friendship—or romantic friendship, if one prefers that term.

I’ll do a little ramble for each, because they all deserve it.

Lannes

Napoleon’s friendship with Lannes was intimate, close, and they loved each other dearly—but as said, I always read them as friends. Even if they lived today and were free/able to be whatever they wanted to be to one another, it’d still just be friendship.

People did make Achilles/Patroclus references to them—particularly around Lannes’ death—but that was the mode of how people spoke back then. It’s the 19th century version of comparing everything to LOTR or Harry Potter (read another classical epic people, jeez).

Their friendship was volatile for sure—these are two hot headed, strong minded, opinionated men who were not afraid to snap and snarl at one another—but at the end of the day I do not doubt their love for each other. But it’s what we would term a platonic love.  

Brian Martin writes this in Napoleonic Friendship: Military Fraternity, Intimacy, and Sexuality in Nineteenth-century France:

Napoleon’s grief for Marshal Lannes took on the very public character of open lamentation. Rather than grieve behind closed doors and conceal his personal vulnerabilities in order to show public strength, Napoleon’s mourning for his beloved friend became a matter of great public spectacle. Like Achilles mourning his beloved Patroclus, Napoleon wept publicly and openly expressed his affection in a way that was widely reported, discussed, and admired by the officers and soldiers in his armies.

[…]

Napoleon’s public grief at the death of Jean Lannes represented a new model for social relations between soldiers in the early nineteenth-century France. weeping over his friend’s broken body, Napoleon demonstrated how the revolution and empire had made it possible not only for an emperor to grieve openly for a fallen marshal, but for a soldier to love his comrade. This uncharacteristic expression of affection between Napoleon and Lannes was echoes in similar relationships between officers and foot soldiers in Napoleon’s armies. Military memories of the first empire bear witness to a wide range of intimate relationships among generals, colonels, and captains as well as sergeants, corporals, and grunts (grognards), the infantry soldiers who made up the majority of the imperial armies. Napoleon’s love for Lannes might thus be said to represent a broad spectrum of masculine affection and intimacy in the ranks of the Grande Armée, or what could be called Napoleonic friendship.

So yeah, I’ve not much more to say on them. Their friendship was loving, affectionate, intimate, and complex. Lannes could be frustrated with Napoleon (often was, the longer Napoleon remained in power—because Lannes loved Bonaparte not the emperor), but Lannes loved his friend and Napoleon loved Lannes. But my read on them has always been that it was what we would term platonic.

------

Junot

This one is messy. Because Junot and Napoleon are messy people. I also think this one is the strongest case for “something more than friendship”. I personally believe Junot loved Napoleon in a deep, phenomenal, possibly obsessive fashion that absolutely was romantic—maybe sexual/erotic—and Napoleon for a time may have returned at least some of those feelings. Then it all went south.

I’m ripping a lot of this from a previous ask I received about Junot—since it covered a lot of the more romantic aspects of his and Napoleon’s relationship.

Junot and Napoleon were close friends when they were in their 20s. Incredibly close. Laure Junot, whose memoires one should treat cautiously, intimated that there was more than just friendship between them at this point. But if that is the case, we’ll never know for certain.

Brian Martin sums it up well (and saves me from having to dig out my copy of Laure’s memoir):

Soon after his imprisonment, Napoleon was released and exonerated, but with little money and no desire to take on a new military post in Brittany, he returned to Paris where, as Laure Junot explains, he lived with his comrade Junot and depended on his friend’s emotional and financial support … The 1794 letter from Toulon initiates a half-year period in the lives of the twenty-five-year-old Bonaparte and twenty-three-year-old Junot when … these ambitious young men relied on each other during their impecunious days in Paris. Describing how Junot “loved Bonaparte as one loves at the age” (1: 188), Laure Junot implies that the young Jean-Andoche developed an adolescent crush on Napoleon, as the two young men grew in intimacy.

[…]

Laure Junot tactfully observes many years later that it was difficult to assess the nature of these friendships [with Duroc and Junot] without offending their masculinity: “These are the very profound and abstract mysteries of the human heart. It is difficult to explain them without first wounding a man’s dignity” (11: 131).

In relegating Napoleon’s military relationships to the realm of the mysteries, Laure Junot defines Napoleonic friendship — long before “the love that dare not speak its name” was articulated by Lord Alfred Douglas in 1894 and invoked at Oscar Wilde’s trial in 1895 —as an enigmatic and unspeakable love incapable of being articulated without shaming a soldier’s manhood. Amid such ambiguity, it is unclear if such “mysteries” encompass both the emotional and the erotic. What is clearer is that Napoleon and Junot shared a degree of affection during their youth in Paris that was undeniably intimate.

As Napoleon climbed up the greasy pole, the power dynamic changed and expectations of interpersonal relationships became more formal putting a strain on his and Junot’s friendship. Junot, like many who knew Napoleon from the early days, loved Bonaparte, not the emperor. As Laure put it in her memoire: “Now let me explain the sadness and pain which afflicted Junot on learning that Napoleon was no longer his General Bonaparte of Toulon. Perhaps the affair simply followed a natural decline. But Junot … did not see it this way. He wanted reciprocity, which he craved even more as his own affectionate fantasies increased … He loved the man, not the emperor.”

In 1800, Napoleon named Junot Commandant of Paris on the condition that he marry because, it seems, there were too many rumours flying around about the two of them. (As noted above, Talleyrand was already making some “huh. Interesting closeness, there” comments about Napoleon.) Dutifully, Junot married Laure.

Junot always exhibited some signs of mental illness throughout his life and at one point he received a head wound (I forget which battle) that massively exacerbated whatever existing mental health troubles he had. (And note that this was one of many wounds - nor was it his first head wound. It’s just the one people in his own life pointed to as a moment of change.)

Junot had jealous and possessive tendencies, something that drove Napoleon a little batty, and they got worse. While Junot was in Portugal, and later Spain, he wrote Napoleon a series of desperate letters begging him to reappoint Junot as his aid-de-camp. We unfortunately don’t have these letters anymore, Napoleon was notoriously secretive and private when it came to personal correspondence and had a habit of burning lots of it. However, we do have Laure’s account of Napoleon’s reception of Junot’s pleading. Laure writes:

"Look here, Madame, what your husband writes to me!’ said the Emperor, ‘Read this and tell me if he sends you such letters."

I read these letters, and this caused me some pain: my husband sent me affectionate missives, but never in the tone of a lover; here were letters that resembled those between Julie and Saint-Preux, or those of the Portuguese nun.*

Napoleon then goes on and says:

“In admitting that Junot loves me more than anything in the world … [he demonstrates] that he does not love me more than his own ambition”

To which Laure replies:

“He loves you, Sire, more than all the honours that you can give, more than your crown, more than me perhaps, for it was pride that made me say the contrary just now, perhaps even more than his children!”

-

*Note: She’s referencing Guilleragues’s Portuguese Letters (1669) and Rousseau’s Julie or the New Héloïse (1761)

Also, as I said above, treat Laure’s accounts cautiously. As with all memoirs, she is positioning certain scenes with a purpose and some things are downplayed, or exaggerated, accordingly.

-

In 1813, Napoleon dismissed Junot from military duty and sent him off to be governor of Illyria which Junot, rightly or wrongly, saw as a form of exile. During his ambassadorship he famously entered a ballroom wearing nothing but his epaulettes and his medals. [above para' edited per conversation in the notes]

Brian Martin:

While one could blame Junot’s naked diplomacy on his progressive dementia, his shocking entrance can also be seen as a kind of buff rebuff to Napoleon. After a lifetime fighting for Bonaparte, watching shrapnel rip into young men’s bodies, leading thousands of soldiers to their deaths, and suffering twenty-seven wounds* of his own, Junot offered his own ravaged body as a hideous and spectacular product of Napoleon’s violence.

-

*Note: Junot says he had 17 wounds, not sure where Martin got 27 - unless there were wounds Junot wasn’t counting.

-

After this incident, Junot was swiftly recalled back to France where he soon after died by suicide.

In his final letter to Napoleon he wrote:

“I who love you with the affection of a savage for the sun, I who am entirely yours. Well then: this eternal war that we must fight for you, I want no more of! I want peace! I want finally to repose my tired head, my sore limbs … to enjoy that which I earned … with my blood! The blood of an honest man, of a good Frenchman, of a true patriot. I therefore ask, at last, for that tranquillity that I earned through twenty-two years of effective service and seventeen wounds from which my blood has flowed for my country, and for your glory.” (emphasis in original)

After Junot’s death, Napoleon ordered that Junot’s personal papers be seized and destroyed as he was afraid their personal correspondence might make its way to a public forum.

So yeah, Junot’s love for Napoleon was definitely on the romantic side, I would say. Because Napoleon burned all their correspondence we don’t know what he sent in reply to Junot—especially in the early days of their relationship. I suspect it was intimate and possibly in line with what Junot continued to send him throughout their life and like hell did Napoleon want that escaping to the public.

Anyway—Junot and Napoleon, I would argue definitely had some homoerotic/romantic undertones and such to their friendship. I think it was mutual in their 20s then Napoleon’s feelings retreated to more platonic but Junot’s never changed.

It just man, gives me strong flashbacks to when I was a teenager and one of my best friends at the time  declared herself my soulmate and carved my initials into her arm and left me a million and a half messages on the home answering machine and said that I was cold like Napoleon and she loved me for it etc. etc.

When I look at Junot and Napoleon I see myself and my old friend in all that glory of the strange complexities of young, intensely emotional and intimate friendships that absolutely blur the line into romantic/erotic.

------

Duroc

Ah sweet Duroc! Duroc who regularly compared himself to Junot in terms of his relationship to Napoleon.

Duroc to Laure Junot in May of 1813:  “Poor Junot! It’s that he’s like me! The Emperor’s friendship is our whole life.”

And again, this is from Laure’s memoirs:

‘Junot and some others,’ Duroc said to me, ‘misjudge me and misjudge my position as well. The Emperor would disgrace me if he made me a marshal of France. What would I do away from him? No doubt it’s a great honor; but my attachment to him, how could it not be affected by that distance? I love the Emperor as Junot loves him. And isn’t he going to choose the post of first aide-de-camp instead of that of governor of Paris? So why judge me otherwise!’

-

Duroc’s a hard one to pin down because he was such an exemplary marshal of the palace, in addition he left us no diaries or memoirs so we have the word of others and what survived of his letters, little else to go on.

However, I think it telling that Duroc compared himself to regularly to Junot—who everyone was aware of how he felt about Napoleon—and that Junot was so jealous of Duroc. That Junot saw Duroc as a rival for Napoleon’s affection and love but not Lannes tells me that clearly Junot could see the similarity of what Duroc and Napoleon had to what he and Napoleon may have once had but didn’t anymore. And, that Lannes was different. It was a different relationship and one that Junot didn’t find threatening.

It's also worth nothing that Duroc was the only one of Napoleon’s officers, aside from Lannes, who was allowed to use tu with Napoleon. Las Cases writes: “I’ve heard the Emperor say that in all of his military career, Duroc alone possessed his blind confidence and received all his affection … Duroc loved the Emperor for himself; he was devoted most of all to the private man, even more than to the monarch”

Duroc’s role as marshal of the palace also put him in an interesting position as a sort of quasi-wife to Napoleon. The role he played was very much a “wife” role—Cronin summarizes Duroc’s duties thus:

"Napoleon was struck by Duroc’s sweet nature, his beautiful manners and the patience which he himself lacked. So he employed his friend as a diplomat and when he became Emperor chose him to run the household and court. […] He had his hands full ensuring that the grocer did not overcharge for the Chambertin, since Napoleon would be sure to notice, and, as Napoleon put on weight, tactfully persuading the Imperial Tailor not to make new clothes but to let out the old ones a couple of inches. He also had to make peace when Napoleon lost his temper: pushing over the table, for example, when he saw crépinettes of partridge. He did this admirably, because he was devoted to Napoleon. Many a time, when the Emperor had hurt a visitor with a sharp word, Duroc would murmur on the way out: ‘Forget it. He says what he feels, not what he thinks, and not what he’ll do tomorrow.’"

No one else of Napoleon’s intimate friends really takes on that wifely role—even after Duroc’s death. Bertrand has the same role, Marshal of the Palace, and he was damn good at his job, just as Duroc was, but there was a difference in their relationship and Bertrand doesn’t read as so close and devoted on a marital level to Napoleon. Not that Bertrand didn’t love Napoleon, he did, gods know he did, but it was more in line with Lannes than Duroc or Junot.

Napoleon describes Duroc to Las Cases:

‘Duroc,’ concluded he, ‘had lively, tender, and concealed passions, little corresponding with the coldness of his manner. It was long before I knew this, so exact and regular was his service. It was not until my day was entirely closed and finished, and I was enjoying repose, that Duroc’s work begun. Chance, or by some accident, could alone have made me acquainted with his character. He was a pure and virtuous man, utterly disinterested, and extremely generous.’

[…]

When he [Napoleon] went to see Duroc, after he had received his mortal wound, he attempted to hold out some hopes to him; but Duroc, who did not deceive himself, only replied by begging [Napoleon] to make them give him opium. …

After this recollection, the emperor, with an apparent effort, began abruptly to talk of something else.

I believe that Napoleon and Duroc were able to see each other’s interiority in a way that few others were able to and that formed the basis for their affection, love and friendship.

Duroc’s letters to Napoleon, anytime they were apart, are also more intense than usual. Plenty of Napoleon’s friends wrote about wanting to be by his side when they were sent off on diplomatic missions or what have you. But Duroc’s express a particularly intense form of devotion:

Duroc to Napoleon, May 29, 1801:

I am waiting to leave, Citizen Consul, until I receive a response to the letters that I had the honor to write you, unless the circumstances or the letters I receive from Paris let me judge that I can leave earlier. I beg you to remember that I am eight hundred leagues from you and, although I’ve been well-received here, I am never better than when I am near you. (Emphasis in the original)

Duroc to Napoleon, July 7, 1801:

I have sought to conduct myself here, Citizen Consul, in a manner that would satisfy you. I am well-regarded and thought highly of everywhere because I belong to you particularly, but I will not be happy until I’m sure that I deserve your approval. I am waiting to set my departure until I know that you’ve received the letter that I had the honor to write you and that I sent with Captain Leclerc. I very much want to find myself near you as soon as possible. (Emphasis in the original)

When Napoleon offered to have Hortense marry Duroc, Napoleon’s proposition was that Duroc would receive five hundred thousand francs and be named commandant of the 8th military division and would be stationed in Toulon (Napoleon was against having a son-in-law in the house).

When the proposition was passed on to Duroc he turned it down because he didn’t want to be sent away from Napoleon’s side and if marriage meant being apart, he didn’t want it, even though from all accounts he was quite fond of Hortense (and she was fond of him).

Later, when Napoleon was having to negotiate his name in exile he said to Barry O’Meara:

“The name of General Bonaparte was the one which I bore at Campo Formio and at Lunneville, when I dictated terms of peace with the Emperor of Austria. I bore it at Amiens when I signed the peace with England. I should be proud to bear it still, but the honour of France forbids me to acknowledge the right of the King of England to annul the acts of the French people. My intention was to take the name of Duroc.”

But he felt he had to keep Emperor Napoleon in order to Make A statement.

In another account, I forget to who, he repeated his intent to have taken on Duroc’s name in exile in order to be a little more incognito/not draw attention to himself, but because England refused to acknowledge that he had been emperor he was like “fuck that, I’m going to insist on being called emperor”. So, had England not been like “you were never emperor” it’s possible Napoleon would have taken Duroc’s surname as his own.

How very married of them.

------

Apologies for the long reply. Not sure this will really answer anything, but it's an amalgamation of my thoughts.

Junot is the clearest of the homo-something friendship between Napoleon and another man. Like, I think that's a tough one to read as anything other than a messy break up. Which is why, when we were all nattering on about queering Napoleon in film yesterday, I focused so much on Junot over the others.

But same sex intimacy, even in Just Friends, can have homo-something undertones to it. Friendships can be complex, multilayered and include some romantic and erotic aspects to them. This doesn't mean those friendships are Romantic Relationships as we think of them, but if there's a romantic tinge to it, or a strong homoerotic tinge to it, then why not explore it? See where it takes the story or the interpretation and undestanding of the person and their actions. Maybe it'll go no where useful, maybe it will. Only one way to find out.

Thank you for the ask!

[socvereign]

(  sabrina  carpenter  +  twenty  +  she/her  )  look  who  has  entered  camp  halfblood  college  !  meet  MILENA  BIANCHI  ,  the  child  of  HADES  .  they  have  been  living  in  long  island  for  two  years  and  are  currently  studying  photography.  when  someone  describes  them,  they  are  often  described  as  AMBITIOUS  and  RECKLESS.  zeus  believes  she  is  responsible  for  stealing  the  lightning  bolt  but  is  that  something  they  are  capable  of  doing?

    AESTHETICS  !

the  smell  of  an  expensive  perfume  always  leaving  you  wanting  more.   the  feeling  of  being  in  love  without  actually  being  in  love  .  never  doing  anything  unprepared  and  looking  effortless  while  doing  it,  big  blue  eyes  filled  with  mischief  and  wonder  and  an  even  bigger  smile  that  follows. 

      MINI PLAYLIST !

i.   PASSAGES     -     three   laws   . ii.   SURRENDER  -      birdy   . iii.   LONG  WAY  DOWN  -      tom  odell   . iv.   MY  MISTAKE  -      gabrielle  aplin   .

    STATISTICS  !

full  name  :    milena  bianchi nicknames  :  lena,  milly,  blondie, birthday  : february  14  zodiac  sign  :  aquarius age  :  20 sexual  orientation  :  bisexual romantic  orientation  :  pan  romantic relationship  status  : single parentage  :  hades powers  : necromancy,  umbrakinesis,  osteokinesis,  phobikinesis,  geokinesis,  ferrokinesis,  hypnokinesis

Milena  is  the  total  opposite  of  what  you  would  expect  from  a  Hades  child.  Ever  since  she  was  a  child,  she  was  nearly  sunlight  personified.  She  is  mostly  seen  smiling  and  is  always  there  to  try  and  get  a  smile  on  someone  else's  face. 

She  was  the  child  of  a  young  and  naive  teen  mom,  Valerie  and  Hades.  Growing  up,  the  relationship  between  her  and  her  mother  couldn't  have  been  more  perfect.  They  always  proved  people  wrong  when  they  told  them  they  wouldn't  make  it  and  that  her  mother  was  too  young.  If  you  ask  her,  she  couldn't  be  luckier. 

When  she  was  3,  her  mother  started  dating  someone  new  and  eventually  even  married  the  man.  Milena  always  knew  the  man  she  called  dad  wasn't  her  real  father,  but  she  never  cared.  For  a  long  time,  in  her  own  perfect  mind,  they  were  the  perfect  family. 

    PERSONALITY !

personality  traits  +  : empathic   ,  magnetic  ,  determined  ,  ambitious,  friendly personality  traits  -  :  impulsive  ,  quick-tempered  ,  blunt  ,  brash  ,  reckless  ,  naive moral  alignment  :  Chaotic  neutral temperament  :  Sanguine

   HEADCANONS !

Milena  is  95%  sunshine  and  rainbows  and  5%  absolute  rage.  She  usually  has  perfect  control  of  her  anger  (  that  also  feeds  her  powers  ),  but  every  once  in  a  while,  she  does  lose  control,  and  then  she  turns  into  an  actual  menace. 

She's  really  protective  and  loving  towards  her  siblings.  Before  she  got  to  the  camp,  she  had  always  been  an  only  child,  so  the  feeling  of  actually  having  siblings  was  totally  new  but  very  welcome  to  her.  She  loves  the  new  family  she  has  found  here  and  can  be  very  affectionate  towards  them. 

more  tba.

  CONNECTIONS !

other  : i’m  basically  open  to  every  thing  so  let's  do  all  the  plotting 

[ofxhollows]

[ JACOB ELORDI, 27, CIS MAN, HE/HIM ] You should watch your back around here. That’s ETHAN WEAVER right there and the local papers like to call them one of the TRUE BELIEVERS because they’re A DEVOTEE. If that’s not enough reason to be wary, I’ve heard that just because they’re BRAVE, they’re also TEMPERAMENTAL, so watch out if you go around THE DINER, because they’re supposed to work there as a SERVER. Make sure to stay on your guard.

Character Name: Ethan Weaver Nickname (s): n/a Face Claim:  Jacob Elordi Birthday: April 19th Place of birth: Dreadmore Sexuality: Bisexual, Biromantic Zodiac: Aries MBTI:  ESTP Moral Alignment: Chaotic evil Occupation: Devotee Place of work: Blue Moon Subplot affiliation:  True believer 3 positive traits:  Loyal, brave, adaptive. 3 negative traits:  ruthless, cunning, temperamental Languages: English, latin, french Love language:  Physical Contact, acts of service

Biography (optional): 

Life wasn't easy, especially in the world Ethan grew up in. From a young age, he learned that you had to fight for what you wanted, no matter the cost. In the Weaver household, there were strict rules and guidelines. As the second eldest, Ethan put in immense effort to stand out, and perhaps that's when jealousy began to take root within him. Instead of love and care, his relationship with his siblings was marred by disappointment, especially towards his brother, who never seemed to live up to the title of firstborn. Luci he was closest with, even as the baby of the family. He considered her , his one and only best friend.

Maybe that darkness in his heart started with his relentless pursuit of achievements, grades, and studies. Or perhaps it grew stronger when he joined basketball and soccer, winning championships for his high school, only to receive little acknowledgment. No matter how hard he tried, his father's approval seemed perpetually out of reach.

This led to many nights of drinking and partying, a futile attempt to escape the reality that his life wasn't what he had hoped it would be. It seemed that Alan was the precious son destined for greater things. Ethan shouldn't have felt this intense anger and bitterness about his own identity, but it was impossible not to when he was barely considered anything in his father's eyes. His brother received all the attention and support, while Ethan was lucky to get even a fleeting glance his way.

Determined, Ethan pushed himself even harder. When Alan refused to become the heir of the cult and carry on their father's legacy, it felt like both an opportunity and a burden. Why couldn't Alan take on the responsibility? As the eldest, he should have been the leader, the one his siblings looked up to. But instead, Alan ran away, leaving and abandoning the weight of their family's expectations squarely on Ethan's shoulders.

what did that feel like? betrayal? and perhaps it was the very thing he needed, the very thing that could change it all for him. What is his brother's weakness, was Ethan's strength. For once maybe their father will look at him.

fun facts:

Ethan always goes above and beyond to achieve everything his father asks for. He does so without complaint and hopes to be acknowledged.

His relationship with his brother is strained, even more so now because alan refused to continue their father's legacy.

Ethan has grown to dislike alan at this point (I don't want to say hate) but he really can't stand his brother at the moment.

tends to act out now to numb the pain he keeps hidden, a bit of a sadist. Sometimes gets into fights.

Personality

When he was younger he was happy-go-lucky, kind, and extroverted. Ever since his brother received the most attention, he started acting out. Typical act out to get the attention of those he cares for most. He can be cutthroat and to the point. Loyal to the Stellar Society and it's members. Can be dangerous when pushed too far, his anger is something he needs to control, otherwise he can be pretty reckless.

Wanted Connection #1: other people in the stellar society he can get along with. He can sometimes be hard to get through because he's stubborn. But once he trusts you, it's rare. If you betray him, you'll likely end up dead. Wanted Connection #2: a fling, someone he sleeps around to numb the pain. perhaps a drinking buddy, or pass the time with them. Eventually, i could see this person as someone he opens up to when drunk and forgets about it. (could be more, open to discuss) Wanted Connection #3: an enemy, someone he fought with. someone who just can't leave him alone. maybe he broke your muse's heart or argued with them. angst most likely, push/pull dynamic.

[bourgeoning]

we  are  so  glad  to  see  you  safe  ,  MINISTER  OF  FOREIGN  AFFAIRS  HUGO  VON  FERSEN  of  GERMANY  !  it's  dangerous  out  in  the  world  these  days  ,  but  i  hear  that  you  are  AFFABLE  and  VERSATILE  enough  to  handle  it.  just  don't  let  your  AUDACITY  bring  you  down  !  stay  on  your  guard,  because  with  your  secret  at  risk  for  exposure  ,  you  wouldn't  want  everyone  to  find  out  YOU WISH THE HATZFELDS WOULD LOSE THEIR ROYAL STATUS  .

BASICS .

FULL  NAME :  hugo michael von fersen .

NICKNAMES  &  ALIASES :  MICHA  (  mee - kah  )  and  MICHI  (  mee - kee  ),  both  derived  from  his  middle  name  ,  are  childhood  nicknames  of  his  .  they  aren't  however  ,  limited  to  family  ;  close  childhood  friends  he  remains  close  to  in the present employ  them  as  well  .

TITLES :  minister of foreign affairs , lord of house fersen of niedersachsen .

BIRTHDAY  &  AGE :  august 8  (  36  )  .

GENDER :  cis man  .

PRONOUNS :  he / him / his  .

ORIENTATION :  bisexual biromantic  .

STATUS :  unwed , unbetrothed  .

LANGUAGES SPOKEN : german , french , russian , english , latin .

TRAITS :  affable , versatile , audacious , charming , easy - going ,  intrepid , solicitous . chaotic neutral .

INSPIRED BY : ferdinand von aegir ( fire emblem : three houses ) , jack of all trades master of none .

HISTORY .

TL;DR : the prodigal son gradually learns responsibility , and that actions have consequences / his current loyalties might go against his morals , might be misplaced , but what is he without them ? / marriage for love shouldn't be a priority with everything going on in the world , and yet .

as the second - born , the burden of expectation on hugo's shoulders was not nearly as heavy as that of his older sibling . free to pursue whatever enraptured him as he pleased ( within reason ) , he took full advantage of this license from his parents . he bounced from one interest to another , then back , then to something else entirely . he became well -rounded , developed rudimentary skill in a number of areas , but could never seem to find a niche .

though hugo always cared deeply for his family , his primary concern was connection , something best found outside the home . rather than honing one skill to a sharp point , he was content to living out his days in gentleman's clubs or public houses , squandering family money .

one such connection , one that meant a great deal to him from the start , was with the current generation of hatzfelds . what likely began as a political play by his parents , the count and countess , blossomed into a close , genuine friendship .

it wouldn't be a stretch to say hugo coasted for much of his life . he would charm his way out of trouble , and leveraged his connection to the german crown when charisma alone wasn't enough . he never quite learned the weight of his behavior . from adolescence , he developed a reputation as a heartbreaker , a rake . even if all he ever wanted was a true love match . marriage for politics was , seemingly , the only obligation of his that hugo truly understood . the reason he set out to sabotage the arrangements his parents made for him .

it was also , perhaps , for that reason that the king offered hugo the position of minister of foreign affairs . he was a man who needed to settle , and being part of the king's cabinet might just do the trick . a new territory of court life to adapt to , hugo did not take well to being given further obligations . but he did enjoy the opportunity to communicate with germany's diplomats and ambassadors about their travels . it had always been his one regret , staying his whole life close to germany .

prior to the reckoning , he reveled in the idea of finally traveling abroad . by the end , that was no longer the case .

not that he wanted to be in germany either . as he watched his country crumble before his very eyes , saw kin betray one another . as he begged for peace as the countries of the world planned to converge once again , his age - old desire for a love match felt trivial , and yet that yearning endured .

HEADCANONS .

his personality is essentially an  18th  century  lad  . he  isn't  too  fond  of  the  idea  of  settling  down  , but also kind of is ? though in the meantime , he'll be seen in  taverns  and  gentleman's  clubs  ,  spending  time  with  friends  and making new ones .

fairly  politically - savvy  ,  having  spent  so  much  time  with  tutors  when  he  was  younger  , and  having  the  charisma  to  pretend  like  he  knows  more  than  he  actually  does  . his role as minister of foreign affairs has made him pay a bit more attention , and the attention ramps up the more severe the situation in germany becomes .

good at a lot of things , but has never excelled . he has varied hobbies , as his interests wax and wane , and is seemingly incapable of finishing a project .

his lack of discipline can , maybe , be attributed to his parents believing hugo is too wayward as he is . in a sea of talented and driven children , he's something of a lost cause .

NAME & ETYMOLOGY .

HUGO : an  old  germanic  name  descended  from  the  element  hugu  ,  "  mind  ,  thought  ,  spirit  .  "

MICHAEL : from  the  hebrew  מִיכָאֵל  (  mikha'el  )  ,  "  who  is  like  god  ?  "

( VON ) FERSEN : unknown . the fersen name first appears in historical records in the 14th century , out of pomerania .

his name is about potential . as if to say that he's always the potential to be more thoughtful , and not simply act based on his whims . something he's growing into as the rpg progresses .

WANTED CONNECTIONS .

HIS SIBLINGS : specifically his older sibling and several younger ones . hugo comes from a large family , one where everyone has something they excel at , save for hugo . he loves each of them dearly , even if his antics sometimes cause trouble for the other fersens .

HIS CURRENT INFATUATION : just a silly , goofy little connection , because i think it'd be fun for this silver - tongued man to be tripped up by a crush he doesn't even realize he has . taken by elliott bonaparte .

PAST  ENTANGLEMENTS  :  though  currently  untethered  ,  hugo  has  something  of  a  rakish  reputation  .  so  naturally  ,  he  has  some  people  he's  previously  been  involved  with  . not  likely  to  have  been  substantial  relationships  ,  as  i  imagine  him  having  perpetual  bachelor  vibes  .

FRIENDS  &  ALLIES  :  friendly  ,  outgoing  ,  and  willing  to  adapt  to  others  ,  hugo  seems  to  make  friends  wherever  he  goes  . additionally , as a foreign minister , he's started looking for political allies . open , one spot taken by oisin riordan .

ENEMIES  :  in  that  same  vein  ,  while  he  may  be  growing  something  of  a  spine  ,  he's  often still  quite  nonchalant  .  some  may  find  it  grating  .  i'd  also  love  for  him  to  have  a  political  rival  ,  maybe  someone  who  thinks  they  would  do  better  as  germany's  foreign  minister  . also !! people whose hearts he's broken .

[creepy-spooghetti]

hey if you don't mind could I get a Creepypasta matchup?

I'm Transmasc

I'm bisexual

I often wear a hoodie and jeans.

I am in INFP and Cancer (Zodiac)

I really like drawing but I'm bad at it.

I'm 5'3.

I'm really shy, but if I am comfortable with you I can be loud and chaotic.

I'm really kind and love helping people!

I love jokes and tell them a lot

I laugh easily I like animals and being around them (including bugs!)

I also like reading from time to time.

I get cold easily.

I like watching Spongebob and Regular Show.

I have anxiety and social anxiety.

I have PTSD

I like to play games I prefer Animal Crossing, Pokemon or Rhythm games.

I really like Punk Pop, Pop or Rock music.

My favorite musical artists are, Mitski, Jack Stauber, Twenty-one Pilots, Hollywood Undead, Cavetown and Green Day

I listen to Lofi music to calm down

Also, can I be called Frost Anon?

You sure can, Frost Anon :D

I match you with...

Jeff!

Jeff, at first, wasn't very interested in you. You were cute and all, but that kinda attitude never really drew him in.

That was until he came back from a mission one day with an injured arm, and since Jack wasn't there to assist him, he had to try to doctor and wrap it himself. You noticed his obvious struggling and stepped over to offer your help, and a little startled, he allowed you to take the reigns.

He couldn't figure out why you would go out of your way to do this for him, when you probably had plenty of other - more important - things to tend to. When you were finished, he blinked down at you, muttered a hesitant, "uhh...thanks", and you gave a meek grin in response.

He kind of started seeing you differently after that event, and he couldn't quite decipher why.

All he knew was that suddenly, he noticed your presence whenever you walked into the room, he'd listen to what you were saying at all times, and he even began to snort at the little jokes you told, even if some of them were cheesy. He did this quietly, of course, but you didn't fail to note it.

And one day, he saw you giving his good boy Smile the affection he deserves, and his heart melted. That was when he realized that he definitely might have had a teensy eensy crush on you.

This 'crush' only evolved as time progressed, and he decided maybe it would be worth his time to get to know you, so that's exactly what he did.

A bit abrasively, sure, but what more can you expect from Jeff?

The moment you first giggled at a snarky, off-handed comment he made about one of the other residents was the moment he felt a new kind of accomplishment.

He adored how you sounded when you laughed - especially because of him - so he made a viable effort to get that reaction out of you whenever he had a chance. It made his pride swell every time he succeeded.

He didn't bother using small talk to get closer to you, nor did he use typical flirting tactics - he simply acted like himself (perhaps dialed back a bit so you wouldn't be overwhelmed), as Jeff is capable of being no other way. Thankfully, this worked in his favor.

Liu convinced him that you were receptive to his, uh...advances? And told him to just go for it, as the worst thing that could happen was rejection.

He begrudgingly took his advice and sorta just blurted out a confession while the two of you were in the middle of watching TV.

"Yeah, uh, by the way, I like you a lot I think."

It was a bit startling but you were flattered nonetheless.

As a boyfriend, Jeff is surprisingly mature. He isn't needy or possessive, and he rarely gets jealous to a concerning extent, unless you just intentionally throw yourself at another attractive individual.

It's often overshadowed by his tendency to be brash and easily annoyed, but when his walls are down, he can be rather sweet, and you and his brother are really the only ones that have access to this hidden side of him.

When a chill sweeps your body, he will not hesitate to wrap you in a blanket burrito and then proceed to take a picture of you, where he'll then make it his screen saver. And he'll swaddle you tightly too - like, you have to fight to escape the blanket's grasp, and he'll either sit there and watch in amusement or leave you alone to your own devices.

Honestly, he was a very big Spongebob fan when he was a kid, so he will eagerly flop down onto the couch next to you when it turns on, singing along to the intro in the dumbest pirate voice he can muster.

Despite his normally light-spirited personality, he can get serious when the moment calls for it. When you get anxious, have a panic attack, get flashbacks, or have a nightmare, he is there to help in whatever way he possibly can.

He's not an expert by any means at comforting people, but he will do his absolute best to talk you down, keep his tone soft, reassure you that everything's okay, and offer physical contact when it's needed. He doesn't like seeing you genuinely upset, over anything, so puts an extra amount of effort into making sure you're alright.

He was never really into video games, but you got him hooked on Animal Crossing, and now he can legit spend hours playing it at a single time.

Like you try to drag him away and he's just like, "yeah yeah, in a minute" and will be there for another three hours if you let him.

It isn't his fault the game's so freaking addictive!

If you ever happen to fall asleep with him, beware. This man is a snorer.

He claims he isn't, of course, but that doesn't magically make it true.

I also hope you like being scared outta your wits from time to time because Jeff will certainly deliver on that.

[azragulse]

✧   ⸻   [  melisa asli pamuk,  cis female,  she/her  ]     ;     staying safe at your post in the eastern wing, aren’t you, AZRA GULSE ? though i would think that being a THIRTY TWO YEAR OLD CAPTAIN with the signet of TRACKING SENSE makes that a pretty easy task. i’m sure it helps that damryr, your female ORANGE SWORDTAIL dragon, is doing their duty patrolling our borders ! the other riders stationed at your post say you’re FORTHRIGHT and UNRELENTING traits are a real benefit, but the fact that you’re so VICIOUS and FICKLE is a real pain in the ass. does anyone else think you’re reminiscent of a wild laugh lost in the wind ; the tide breaking against rocks ; dragon claws brushing against skin or is it just that dragon of yours ? nonetheless, stay vigilant and stay alive.  

BASICS.

FULL NAME: azra gulse.

AGE: thirty two.  

PLACE OF BIRTH: navarre.

GENDER: cis female.

PRONOUNS: she/her.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: demiromantic bisexual. 

FAMILY: arda & jale gulse (parents). two unnamed younger siblings and nadir gulse.

PROFESSION: captain of the eastern wing.

SIGNET: sensory tracking

DRAGON: damryr, an orange swordtail.

INTRO.

eldest of four siblings born to a pair of dragon riders, azra always knew her fate was in the skies. being the eldest meant pressure was always high not only to succeed, but exceed. all eyes were on her to see what the next generation of gulse children would bring. azra is loyal to her family, but she is far from a nurturing older sister. her way of showing love was to teach her younger siblings to swim — by throwing them in the open ocean to see if they will sink or swim. contrary to what they might tell you, azra wasn't actually going to let them drown. probably. it was funny watching, though. and hey, they all survived so no harm done. the way azra sees it, she did them a favour. the world isn't a kind place, and coddling them will only hold her siblings back.

being the first born is a heavy responsibility, but aza thrives under the pressure. never content to be average, azra did whatever it took to rise the ranks of the riders quadrant. if that meant lying, cheating, or fighting dirty, then azra had no qualms about doing it. there is a bone deep, insatiable hunger in azra and she won't stop until she is finally satisfied. the ends justify the means and if they don't justify the means? well the means were fun so who really cares! her loyalty is first and foremost to her own and her family's survival with little consideration for others.

conscribed at age 22, because there was no way azra was going to let any of her younger siblings conscribe before her; and joined the army right after graduation because war is kind of fun? azra cares little for the moral or political justification for war, its more like look, more little people to play games with! (the game being killing/outsmarting/winning). again, ruthlessly focused on rising the ranks and is now a captain in the eastern wing. despite her fickle nature, it is a position azra takes seriously as much as she views war like a game.

bonded to a temperamental orange swordtail that burnt at least three cadets to a crisp before choosing azra. she'd 'accidentally' pushed a fellow cadet into dragon fire, piquing damryr's interest. azra developed her signet power fairly quickly. if it was too much too soon, well damryr cared little for the difference between humans. annoying, but azra could be replaced. it was a test of azra's strength, which thankfully she passed. after a decade of being bonded, azra and damryr have become quite the vicious team, known for their ruthlessness and unwillingness to leave a fight until their enemy is destroyed. you wont see them settling for surrender.

coming from a family of predators, it made sense that her signet would be sensory tracking — there is rarely a person or thing she cannot locate, making her a valuable asset to the army. she enjoys the hunt as much as she enjoys toying with her prey.

kind of chaotic feral vibes in a can and will cut your throat but in a Looks Good While Doing It way

competitive, challenging and opinionated, azra isn't afraid to say exactly what she means. bloodthirsty and vicious, azra mirrors her dragon in being temperamental, although she's not as grumpy. the cadets are fun little toys to mess with for her own amusement and has probably tried to scare a few for fun.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

ARMY COLLEAGUES: azra is a captain on the eastern wing so any fellow army people. direct reports, superiors, competitors, etc. i imagine there's a mix of people she'd love to burn to a crisp, and others she's almost friendly with or they work really well together and often pair up for missions and things. maybe someone bitter/jealous she's a captain or believes she's the worst possible person to be a captain (too bloodthirsty?)

GRADUATE CLASS: azra joined the riders quadrant around 11 years ago, so anyone who was at school with her. rivals for commanding positions, frenemies. also teachers who remember her - could love her, hate her, whatever.

TRACKING EVADER: azra's signet is sensory tracking, and I think she'd enjoy testing her ability on someone whose ability is the opposite - its a test of their individual strengths who ends up winning out. also, this goes for anyone really down to play tracking games with azra. gonna keep those skills sharp.

MENTOR/MENTEE: tbh funny if azra takes someone under her wing and corrupts them a little. equally funny if someone worse than azra does the same to her, and they're just a terrible awful combination.

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS: but like. without the friends bit. just the benefits. here for a fun time but not looking for anything more.

[dhampiravidi]

d&d OC - Jasmine

template from here:

BASIC DESCRIPTION

Full Name: Lady Jesanta "Jes" Longbrooke/Yasbryn "Yaz" Veldrin Age: plot-dependent; 30s Species: Human (Chondathan & Tethyrian) Gender: Cisgender Woman Sexuality: Bisexual (Demiromantic)

APPEARANCE (FC is Kat Graham)

Yaz stands at 5'3" (1.6 m). Growing up in the nobility gave her a healthy frame, and after she started training, she gained a good amount of muscular definition. She takes mostly after her late Chondathan mother, having dark green eyes, black hair, light brown skin, and a slender build. Until things went south, she wore her thick, textured hair in braids that fell to her shoulder blades. After the traumatic incident, Yaz cut her hair so it's typically in a few short braids that barely pass her ears. She wears light leather armor in brown and black that has metal shoulder plates and bracers, plus a hooded cloak and brown boots.

PERSONALITY

Jesanta started out as a happy, sweet girl who was welcoming to everyone. When her parents were killed in front of her, however, she curled in on herself, becoming extremely introverted. She’s resourceful, having found many creative ways to use her powers, and she’s still kind to the animals she comes across, but that’s where her virtues stop for the most part.

BACKGROUND

Chaotic Neutral; Trickster Rogue (Assassin): Since she was only fifteen when her parents, the leaders of the Corymrian House Longbrooke, were killed, those who became responsible for her sent her away to the Great School of Deneir. Because the school was so far from her home, it was thought that she could easily disappear. She was known as Jes Brooke to her peers. Years later, her guardians sent her to the University of Suzail, so she could finish her education, network, and become the head of the house. However, nightmares made it too hard to sit in a classroom, so she ran away to train as a Rogue. It wasn't too hard to get into the city of Baldur's Gate, where she planned to join up with the criminal organization known as The Guild. Instead, she ended up being taken under the wing of a drow rogue named Xare Coborel. Xare taught her how to defend herself, but told "Jes" to continue reading about history, hoping that the human girl would go back to Cormyr and her comparatively comfy life. Once Jes told Xare about how her parents died, though, Xare began teaching Jes how to kill. She even taught her how to harness her own psionic energy so she could create a Soulknife in case of emergency. The pair traveled for a time, sharing profits from their jobs. They always got their money through trading or keeping something their target used to own, because she thought people who got violent for money were despicable. Eventually, they worked their way up a chain of corrupt officials in Western Faerun and executed the person who had ordered the hit on the Longbrooke family. Now Jas, who goes by the drow name Yasbyrn Veldrin, travels alone, since Xare retired.

SKILLS

Acrobatics - able to do the Earthian art of parkour Deception - skilled at lying and mimicking emotions History - fairly knowledgeable about the past of Faerun Insight - good at judging the intentions of others Stealth - can sneak up on people w/o making noise

OTHER PROFICIENCIES/LANGUAGE

Tools: a set of thieves' tools & a deck of cards, explorer's pack Spells: soulknife (w/intense concentration) Languages: Common, Thieves' Cant, Elvish, Undercommon Weapons: shortbow, daggers, shortsword

[ao3feedzukka-blog]

These Are My Twisted Words

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44317201 by kodakren Zuko was almost killed the moment he was born. Ozai said he lacked the spark necessary of a fire-bender and almost cast him over the palace walls, only saved by Ursa’s powerful, motherly conviction. Pleading to give Zuko a chance. Agni, please, just one chance. He wasted that chance at thirteen years old, during an Agni Kai, forever branded to be the banished son of Ozai. He was honourless, irredeemable, and yet still, somehow, he found his way. Zuko knows how it feels to be worthless, he knows how he it feels to desperately claw at that accusation and prove otherwise. This is why, with the Fire Nation's carcass resting on his shoulders, he knows he cannot buckle underneath the pressure. It is his responsibility, his duty to both his people and the world, to fulfil this role, for fear of his father's tyranny seeping back into the palace walls. He has a chance to do good here...and he cannot waste it. -- OR The war is over and Zuko is the Firelord...Now what? How did we get from Zuko's coronation to republic city, and was the journey to peace easy? Spoiler, no..no it very much wasn't. Featuring: Decolonisation, the mystery of Zuko’s mother and the palace staff being chaotic (+gaang adventures) Words: 13065, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English Fandoms: Avatar: The Last Airbender Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M, Gen, M/M Characters: Zuko (Avatar), Iroh (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar), Aang (Avatar), Toph Beifong, Katara (Avatar), Hakoda (Avatar), Original Characters, Ursa (Avatar) Relationships: Fire Nation Citizen(s) & Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Suki & Zuko (Avatar), Hakoda & Zuko (Avatar), Ursa & Zuko (Avatar), Iroh & Zuko (Avatar) Additional Tags: Post-Avatar: The Last Airbender, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, the entire palace is just trying to get him to eat and sleep, zuko refuses because "responsibility", Zuko-centric (Avatar), Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Firelord Zuko (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko's Scar (Avatar), Partially Blind Zuko (Avatar), Partially Deaf Zuko (Avatar), basically what if the comics got a fanfic?, but it's filled with my dumb vision, zuko's journey as the firelord, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Lynn is concerned for this self-sacrificial child, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Assassination Attempt(s), like so many of them...this is also canon, Ozai Being an Asshole (Avatar), Slow Burn, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), had to include some dadkoda at some point this is me tagging so I don't forget, Earth Kingdom (Avatar), Fire Nation (Avatar), Fire Nation Politics (Avatar), Fire Nation Colonies (Avatar), healing using fire-bending is a thing, because reiki is really cool and I feel like it would've been canon, Zuko Has Nightmares (Avatar), Zuko Has PTSD (Avatar), Zuko Has Chronic Pain (Avatar) January 16, 2023 at 12:32AM

[cowardlyasexual]

Oksepus.

Ah yes, oksepus, the most magnificent being known to man. It is about the size of a bull, which would be terrifying, if it wasn’t also as soft and cuddly as a kitten. The oksepus is a very loyal pet and friend. A great family pet. It has two main ways of communicating feelings and emotions. The primary one is through strange sounds that can be very hard to decipher if you’re not experienced in handling oksepus, the secondary form of communication is through cactus, this is far easier to decipher and you will easily be able to tell what emotion the oksepus is expressing. 

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

Excuse me, I’m sorry, can you explain why you think KO might be queer? I’ve never considered him as a possible queer wrestler but I’d love to hear what made you point to him (Hunter I get and Kenny couldn’t be more obvious)

Ok, so, I'm on my laptop so I don't have access to my gif repository but... Back in the Indies Kevin had a thing of kissing guys. Like, NON STOP. It didn't matter if he was teaming with you, if he was fighting you, hell, you could be a fucking FAN, if he wanted it, his lips were on yours. It's sort of a joke that you should never play gay chicken with Kevin because you will either win or lose immediately, depending on your perspective. And no, it wasn't the aggressive cheek kissing of the WWE (although, more on that later). These were liplocks. Most were aggressive but there was one with Generico (Sami) mid match that was straight up tender... saying nothing of the time Generico kissed Kevin on the lips pre-match for good luck. Now, for the question I'm sure you're asking. What if it's for show? What if it's just a thing he does for the crowd? This is where the aggressive cheek kiss comes in. I asked a mutual from Quebec once. "Is this a French Canadian thing? Are they just Like That (tm)???" I showed her several gifs of the aggressive cheek kiss and her precise response was that, sure you see behavior like that all the time in Montreal... Among gay guys. No self respecting straight guy from Quebec would ever be like that with his best friend let alone kiss people he doesn't like or, worse, DOESN'T KNOW. And, honestly, most gay guys probably wouldn't liplock with a stranger anyway which points at Kevin not only being queer, but also a bit of a slut (but we aren't judging). So really, "Kevin Can't Stop Kissing Men' is one of the biggest signs of Bi Guy Kevin. But trust me, there are other things too. Well, another person. Sami. If you search for it, if you dig online (I'm not linking any of it because it's really none of our business) there are pieces of evidence provided by Kevin himself that he and Sami actually dated at one point before breaking up and deciding to stay as just friends. Again, not linking any of it, but trust me when I say that the evidence exists. So yeah. There is an really REALLY strong case to be made that Kevin is bisexual and the only reason most non-indies fans aren't aware of it is that the WWE has kept Kevin on a tight friggin leash and won't let him be the chaotic queer that he wants to be. But... well, uhh... That was under Vince. Under Vince's regime, Kevin was kept under control. This isn't Vince's show anymore. And if you go back and look at just how affectionate Hunter let Sami and Kevin be for the FIVE MINUTES he had them together under his watch... Let's just say whatever reunion we get has the potential to be VERY interesting...

[liyawritesss]

Coming Out As Bisexual To Aizawa

Pairing: Father! Aizawa and Teen!Fem!Black/POC!Reader

Genre: fluff, comfort

Synopsis: you come out to aizawa as bisexual after he catches you crying one night after hours

Warnings: crying, coming out of the closet, mentions of abandonment, disownership, and being outcast for one's sexuality, 2ndyear!fem!black/poc!reader

A/N: I know I’ve been out of commission for a while, and I apologize for that. School’s getting on my ass and I’m starting work again, so my personal time window is shrinking. Gonna try and make time for the other work in progress I have and finish the requests in my inbox before I open up requests again. Thank you all for your patience!!

Aizawa is the silent supporter kind of dad. Given that he’s pretty quiet and reserved anyway, it makes sense

He found out when he found you crying outside of the dorm building one night, and when he asked you what you were doing, he received an unusually violently defensive response

You were a mess, with negative thoughts plaguing your mind that spurred the yelling rant, and you eventually blurted out that you hated who you were because of your changing sexuality, and how no one would support a hero who ‘couldn’t make up their mind’ 

He reassures you in his own way, telling you that you are accepted and loved no matter what. You are who you are, you love who you love, and the only person who should be the judge of that is you.

There were times where you still feared abandonment or ostracization for your sexual orientation, especially from the little group of friends you had. Noticing this Aizawa began to look uo ways to help you. He wasn't the best at verbal reassurement, and with the knowledgeable youth all over the internet, he was sure he’d find some ways to accommodate. 

Class 1A helps him as well, although the chaotic energy they provide is a bit overwhelming.

You’re their big sister basically, hell yeah they're gonna make you feel as comfortable as possible.

The BakuSquad may or may not convince Aizawa that gay dad jokes will make you feel better on bad days - and they do - but the second hand embarrassment and humiliation on Aizawa’s part is enough to increase their training hours for the rest of their UA years.

Deep down Aizawa hopes that, since your preferences are somewhat half and half, you end up with a nice girl, be they femme or masc presenting.

As a man he is fully aware of how his side of the species are absolute shitholes, and will gladly kill someone's son without second thought in order to protect his daughter.

Coming out to Aizawa is a 10/10 experience, would recommend, plus you get corny gay dad jokes to make you smile

If you enjoyed, please leave a like, comment, and reblog for others to see! And don't be shy to send a request!

[sako-mii]

this seems cool:)

hiya the names mari! Ill join your matchup for Tokyo Revengers!

- I'm female,chaotic bisexual,she/them

- I stand around 5'2-5'3, I have black n red medium length hair that is curly (but poofy when dry.) That i usually straighten. ALOT. I'm curvy with chubbyness as a side :>

- I'm an aquarius!

- I'd say I'm a pretty chaotic person- In short I'm a ambivert and tend to be very socially awkward. ( really my only responses will be "oh..uhh..cool! mkayy,or the usual favorite " yeah haha....") but unless your a friend or family member or It's something im intrested in,I'm a chatter box. My friends say I'm pretty nice,which is true when I feel like it. I always try to be good at listening and giving advice to others and go a mile to make sure everyone is okay,which is just my 1st priority. I'm pretty extra sometimes- I take things the whole mile when it is a topic or person, so if you were to get hurt by someone,prepare me to ask for the socials >:(. Yes,yes i am V lazy, and I WILL silently complain about having to get up. In being a good friend or person,i often try to make others laugh,or brighten the mood,with dad jokes,acting like a baby or whatever,even if i regret it after. Some of the negatives though, I'm huge pushover- literally I'm working on it, I also am too forgiving some people say which is true since i will go for the easy way out of things..so if forgiveness is what it takes then yeah. I'm indecisive, and impatient sometimes. I also tend to get irritable quick and loud when i get angry- which I say whatever comes to mind,hurtful or not. I'm a crybaby- i won't lie when I'm told no or things get stress full and not going my way,the tears come. Im also usually forgetting things,which is caused to sleep deprivation, just lack of sleep in general. I also tend to ovethink alot and non vocal with my feelings.

My positives ! I'm told to be pretty funny which I try to be.

My positives! I'm told to be funny,which i always try to be. I like to be helpful! So I'm always trying to do something for someone. I can be understanding with others emotions or actions. I'm also pretty accepting, idc if you did bad things back then,as long as your nice in the now,I will accept it.

(Phew dat was long mb)

I've been told by my friend have a binge eating disorder (which is starting to develop..alittle too bad)

This was alot- but i hope its good^^

Remeber to stay safe!! Drink WATERR

I'll assign you...

Souya Kawata (Angry)

You two met in their ramen shop. You came in with your friend

You two ordered ramen and you got his bowl. You thought it was really delicious and wanted to compliment him but he looked very angry so you decided you will another time.

You visited their shop some time later and it wasn't that crowded. You ordered for a bowl of ramen. While you were eating, you called for him.

He was still looking angry but you thought he might feel better if you compliment him, and you did. You told him that the ramen he made was very tasty.

Even though he still looked kinda angry,it felt as if his expression has gotten a bit soft and you could swear you saw a light tint of blush.

He averted his eyes a bit, "th...thanks. I'm glad you like it."

Before you left, he gave you his number on a piece of paper before walking away. As you were walking out of the shop, you decided to give the number a call

You dialed his number and he soon answered your call. "Do you give all of your customers your numbers?" You playfully asked. There was silence on the other end until, ".....n..no, I only gave it to you". His statement somehow made your heart flutter.

He asked you if you'd like to hang out together. You gave it a thought then answered with a yes

You two were watching a movie together and later on chatted in a cafe. You two got along very well and became close very soon.

At first you thought that he's always in an angry mood, but you soon realized that he's an angel with an angry looking mask. You also made him smile a lot.

He looked out for you a lot, sometimes he would just text you and ask you how your day is going.

You two started going out, he asked you out. He liked your kind and caring personality.

He took you out to star gaze at night on your date. He took you to a nice place to watch stars with a ride on his bike.

He often gives you kisses on the forehead.

He knows about your eating disorder and would try and help you to control it. He would tell you you're beautiful inside and out

If you ever overthink, he would be there , trying to calm your thoughts by giving you company and giving you headpats.

He might be angry looking but you are one of the things that make him smile.

Enjoy your new realm, that's where you'll stay now

Take care of yourself. Have a nice day/night and stay safe 💖

[buddha-in-disguise]

Discourse, Supergirl and fans.

The Supergirl situation with William Dey, is far more than about William Dey per se.

I touched on this when I first posted about David Harewood.

What I have seen, and I am still seeing is while some SuperCorp fans were annoyed about the preview for episode 12, this was also coming from a diverse section of the fandom. That David (and others) have singled out the SuperCorp fandom is both unfair, and unhelpful. But that is a different discussion altogether.

So - I am going to repeat and expand on some of what I wrote at the time to try and explain why I, (and others) have found Supergirl to be really problematic at the moment.

First of all: There is no doubt Supergirl currently has a diverse cast, inc. LGBTQ representation. 

However, all the diversity in the world means absolutely nothing if a program is seemingly only playing lip service to the characters. 

Compare and contrast with Legends of tomorrow. They have 6 women. 2 Muslim superheroes (a TV first). 5 characters are LGBTQ, including Charlie; who is recognised as gender fluid. 4 people of colour. The lead is a woman, who is bisexual, in a canon relationship with a lesbian, and is a superhero. 

They do this without it being made a big deal of, enjoyed by LGBTQ and heterosexual audience alike. But it is a huge deal for many because of that diversity, and just as importantly they haven't overloaded the cast numbers, so they all get good solid storylines through a season. A season that is also shorter than Supergirl. 

Legends are an example of how you can put in a diverse minority cast, without it becoming forced or cumbersome. It isn't without fault sure, but no program is. 

So where is Supergirl going wrong at the moment? 

Let's use William, as the crux of the problems are best shown with his character, but it isn't limited to him. I will put first - this is absolutely *not* a criticism towards Staz Nair, who I respect (& like, as far as one can from limited SM interaction). All too often the accusations are made that if you don't like a character, you hate the actor. That is categorically not true for me, nor others I've seen posting about this. Of course if anyone does hate on the actor, that is not okay.

So, back to William. I get the reason he came along in regards to Russell and so the Andrea connection. That story made sense.  What hasn't made sense - William being used as a journalist, when Nia is right there! Nia has barely had any screen time, and virtually none as a journalist; you know - her actual job. I'm not sure what the minutes on screen ratio has been this season between the two, but it has felt completely slanted towards William as a viewer, at least until now. 

First instead of Kara and Nia investigating Leviathan after William was 'exposed' in the earlier episodes, now Nia is sidelined again, because they want Kara to team up with William to investigate Lex.

Why? Why do they need that journalistic pairing, when Nia - who as a Superhero, is better placed if danger from Lex occurs. But no, they're making it about Kara having to work with William because Lex threatened to kill him. Plus Nia was being mentored by Kara. Is she no longer being mentored by Kara? Are they a team? Even if the mentoring has ended, Nia is still not being utilised as a journalist.

I am utterly baffled as to why they feel this arc makes any sense. Moreso when an already established character gets sidelined. 

I'm also getting tired of seeing anyone who sees these valid opinions about current storyline as being trolls (or the comments all SuperCorp fans are just outright haters. No - SuperCorp fans are a large diverse group, that have incredible artists, fanfic writers, and social media users. Many also multi-ship. To place a blanket statement about a whole fandom as large as SC, is hateful. All fandoms have some who are problematic, but to single out an entire group is not right). 

So back to my thoughts. An episode can have some great aspects to it, but it can also be highly problematic to some fans, & receive valid criticism or valid opinions for it. For example, the latest episode of Batwoman. The Alice/Beth story was great. The acting superb. What I found worrying was the way they made Sophie feel guilty for legitimate reasons why she had led a closeted lifestyle. That lifestyle is valid, for Sophie and many LGBTQ people, and for good reason, including keeping some people safe from harm. I felt it was a clumsy attempt for Alice to get into Sophie's mind; it could've been tackled other ways, so it felt wrong they used her sexuality as a way to achieve that. Being closeted for many literally keeps them alive. So that was one hell of a poor choice in my opinion. Yet others have made perfectly credible counter arguments that it showed the difficulties faced by many LGBTQ people. So, great episode, valid criticism/opinion from both points of view. It also highlights you can have excellent episodes, but they can have legitimate issues.

Nor does differences of opinion, as long as it is respectful, makes those voicing them a bully, no matter how much you disagree. 

At the end of this, if you don’t agree, and your opinion makes you say something that is intentionally hurtful (directly or indirectly to a person or group of people), it's a bad thing. The key word being intentionally. We all make mistakes, and responses that could've been better, & we all need to be aware of that, but if it is an intended attack, don't be surprised if others call you out for your behaviour. 

So now what in regards Supergirl?  

I know ultimately that this show is about Supergirl, but it is also about those around her as family & friends. I understand there are only so many minutes in one episode. What I don't understand is why those precious minutes are going to a character, when they have one perfectly placed to do the same role. Why they have to potentially explore another relationship, when we have one canon relationship, one canon on/off again relationship & one relationship that while isn't canon in terms of romantic, it is a big story in terms of best friends, all seemingly sidelined. Which brings me to the Kara fighting for Lena's soul aspect. Again, I am not seeing a lot of fighting for anything, except more and more fans fighting themselves and cast. 

Then you just need to look at the dislikes that teaser was given on YouTube, and compare them to previous ones. I've attached screenshots to show this.

A serious misjudgment was made by someone on how that teaser would be received, and again I will stress, this dislike hasn't just been from one area of fandom, but multiple areas. For many it wasn't just about William, but the culmination of unease that has built for a few episodes. A prime example of the straw that broke the camel's back. If you are solely focused on one area of fandom for this discourse (as many blame SuperCorp fans), you need to step back and recognise you are not allowing yourself to see the whole picture. To focus solely on one thing, rather than acknowledging the wider audience are saying this, does not make you the better fan. To dismiss it as trolls, is being dismissive of good, regular fans with legitimate questions or concerns. It is insulting to many of us.

I will be honest, I had high hopes for this season. I also knew it was likely going to be pretty confusing at times since it was given as 'our Black mirror season' and 'nothing is as it seems.' I accepted that.

However, all it seems at the moment is a jumbled mess from pre and post Crisis. They just doesn't appear to be any cohesion at all, which is making it really difficult as a viewer. Add in the changes post Crisis and it feels even more of a mess.

Of course, they could bring in more cohesive elements soon, but considering that we know episode 13 is 'It's a wonderful life,' and Alex Danvers in a later episode is wearing a Super suit - I just sense this whole 'nothing is as it seems' side we appear to be getting isn't changing any time soon, & with episodes running out, with so many strings running through at the moment, it feels really discombomulated. If by seasons end, they pull it off and you can look back and see how it's played out as a whole, I will be the first to say well done for that part. 

I do though think right now Supergirl feels chaotic beyond expectation, and no end in sight. I feel there have been too many character additions this season (particularly Andrea & William) that is taking screen time away from Kara, Alex, Nia, Lena, Kelly et al.

It feels like a mess of unnecessary pairings and the crux of the story seems to have been lost in the midst.

That is causing confusion for fans, that is also beginning to become frustration. That frustration is spilling over. Add in the genuine and extremely legitimate concerns over the LGBTQ issues that have arisen (again from far more than just SuperCorp fans), and the frustration has built even more. 

I can only hope the next couple of episodes address some of this and not complicate the mess further. 

Whatever happens, Supergirl is not doing well in terms of a storyline that is gripping for fans, that is now top heavy with regulars, taking screen time from established characters, and a social media blunder that has so far only exacerbated the simmering uncertainty being felt by many.

It might improve, and I sincerely hope it does, but they are edging into the potential for the anger felt by fans to become an all out riot if they don't stop and see where valid criticism is being given. If this season continues on in this vein, then there is going to be huge swathes of fans drifting away. The concerns are legitimate. I wish it could be seen as that.