#this was hell on earth to upload i have no idea why

[avephelis]

i set myself on fire. VOTE FOR ME in the @moomoorare mutual massacre

[intuitive-revelations]

Theory: Something serious is up with the TARDIS

I had been wondering about this all series, but after Rogue today, it's finally been confirmed that something's going on with the TARDIS (on top of all the other arc threads going on!).

The moment I picked it up was in The Devil's Chord, where the TARDIS makes a strange groan and creaks after landing back in 1963. Ruby thinks it's from Maestro, but the Doctor says it's "something else". As of today it's happened again, twice! Once in the episode itself, once in the next time trailer. The exact same sound effect!

Someone on reddit pointed out a few weeks ago that this sound appeared even earlier too, in Wild Blue Yonder (notably also when we first saw Susan Twist, had gravity changed to mavity, and welcomed the Pantheon into the universe). Each time, it's also had attention drawn to it. Here's a video of each scene, followed by a direct comparison of each sound:

(I did have a quick glance to see if it appeared elsewhere, maybe even during Flux. As far as I can tell however, Wild Blue Yonder seems to be the only non-S14 appearance.)

What's more, going back to that Reddit thread, someone pointed out what the Wild Blue Yonder script says about this moment:

And then the TARDIS seems to moan. The Doctor fascinated. DONNA: Is it working? THE DOCTOR: I think so. Strange. He reaches out, touches the TARDIS, wondering. And that 'strange' will come back to haunt him, one day. But now...

(Suddenly the TARDIS freaking out over Donna's spill might make a bit more sense...)

So what the hell's going on?

Well, between a trailer scene and some news that just came out a few hours ago as of writing this, I think I may have an idea. Given it's based on trailer footage uploaded and then removed from YouTube, I'll put it below beneath a read more:

In a removed Disney+ teaser trailer we get two frames of the Doctor screaming out into space (with Mel behind him). Except it's not from "his" TARDIS:

It's the f*cking memory TARDIS!

And here's the thing. Not only was this trailer scrubbed from the Disney+ and BBC channels, but in the other trailers, this clip is entirely different! Not only is Mel gone, but the TARDIS interior is now Fifteen's own, and the TARDIS is in a different, generic region of space.

Just before this, we also see a similar nebulous region of space matching the unmanipulated clip.

But why on Earth is this such a big deal, that the BBC/Disney would go full MCU and give us a deliberately altered clip? The only previous time I remember Doctor Who doing this was for Series 10, hiding the plot point of the Doctor's blindness. It's not because of Mel, who literally appears in the released trailer. It's also seemingly not because of the background, despite it also being altered (unless the two moons are a clue with the planet being Gallifrey or something - the thought had occurred to me - but that's such a tiny detail, and we also only see one sun). Instead, it must be the Memory TARDIS. But why?

In-universe, I have no idea. On one hand I'd be delighted to get some answers as to its nature. Assuming it's connected to the groans we've been hearing, then it could be the TARDIS undergoes some sort of metamorphosis into this state? But we've seen the TARDIS change all the time, whether for safety, to recover or whatever. I also can't imagine general audiences are falling over themselves to find out the in-universe explanation for a Classic Who re-release framing device. Not to mention, apparently the sound will go on to "haunt" the Doctor...

...maybe the TARDIS straight up is taken out of commission in some way? And the Memory TARDIS isn't the same ship, but the Doctor's way of saving the day without her? Maybe even remembered into existence Fitz/Amy style?

Out of universe however, it's just been announced yesterday that we're getting more Tales of the TARDIS.

And not just more omnibus stories with past characters returning for in-universe commentary... but with Fifteen and Ruby! What's more, it's apparently a one-off, right before the finale (but, note, after the first part next week).

Which means it's important. Possibly extremely so, given the edited trailer scene. It might even serve as an interquel, given Fifteen and Ruby are somehow in it.

I've seen two common theories. Either a) it will be Pyramids of Mars, and we're getting Sutekh in the finale (presumably with Fifteen and Ruby partially because of bringing back Elizabeth Sladen obviously not being an available option - and even if you thought up another character, eg. Luke, I doubt Tom would be interested, at that point anyway), or b) it will be something tying into Susan returning.

Honestly between the remaining trailer clips (eg. sandstorms and dusty planets), a tease RTD supposedly gave in DWM, and an old interview with him where he supposedly floated the idea of bringing back a Classic Who for a finale and airing the original serial on BBC3 beforehand, I'm kinda leaning towards the prior, even though it wasn't at all on my radar.

However, this still doesn't actually answer what's up with the TARDIS.

It could quite literally be anything. However, here's a few ideas, some reasonable some weird, that I have come up with:

Old age / stress. This is a weird one, but oddly enough something I had thought of once in the past, and I just saw someone else come to the same idea on Reddit. The idea is that while the Doctor has a new regeneration cycle and now a good few years, if not decades or more, of rest and recovery, the TARDIS may struggling in it's own right (especially if it is somehow old enough to have once been the Fugitive Doctor's). However, while this could be something interesting to explore, and I think isn't entirely mutually exclusive with other options, I can't imagine going anywhere near a storyline of the TARDIS itself 'wearing thin'. Besides, if we did, I like to imagine it would have been foreshadowed with size leakage, as per Name of the Doctor.

Relating to the above, could it be something linked to the TARDIS splitting in The Giggle? However, the sound starts before then (not that that means much to the TARDIS, but still).

Laws of rationality breaking down. This one makes the most sense in a lot of ways, between the expanded universe (particularly Christmas on a Rational Planet) and Flux, we've seen the TARDIS cannot survive in an irrational universe. While time has stabilised for now, we're still seeing magic and other Old Time forces encroaching in on the Web of Time. I'm a bit torn with this one however, as while it works from a lore and writing perspective, plus matches with this starting in Wild Blue Yonder (right after the Mavity incident... interestingly), it seems odd it's not more connected with what happened in Flux? Why are the sounds and effects on the TARDIS completely different?

Something to do with the Doctor's fobwatch. In Rogue, the Doctor blames the sound on indigestion. We know we're getting more Timeless Child related stuff - could this somehow be linked to Thirteen dropping the Division biodata module deep into the TARDIS? Would be a weird time to pick this up though, and I'm not sure exactly how that would have had such an effect.

The most actually likely, but least possible to theorise about: it's something time-wimey to do with Ruby, the villain(s) of the story, and/or Susan Twist, especially given this started after her first appearance.

Regardless, I'm just excited to see what's up with the Memory / "Remembered" TARDIS, because it's seems we're about to learn something...

[kennarose1108]

My World (Negan Smith x Reader !DAUGHTER OF RICK!)

*SO I MADE THIS FOREVER AGO AND I WANTED TO FINISH IT AND UPLOAD IT... I HOPE Y'ALL ENJOY, PART 2 IS IN A LINK AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS STORY*

You had been with Negan and his group for the last ten months and you knew Negan wasn't the cleanest man on earth. You knew he was doing things... Horrific things to people but you try to turn a blind eye to it. Negan was the best thing that had happened to you since the apocalypse happened. You were alone up until Negan found you on the verge of starving to death.

And over the months your and Negan's relationship had blossomed into something unexpected. He was a lot older than you. You were twenty-six years old and Negan was forty-five... I mean hell he was older than your father would be... Your father...

You were in college when the apocalypse broke out and you prayed your family was okay. After a while, you finally made it back to your family's home to find it completely ransacked and everybody was missing. You went to the hospital where you heard your father was staying after his accident but you didn't even attempt to go inside as it was completely guarded by the dead.

But everything seemed to be okay now... You stayed out of Negan's business as much as you could but today was different. "I need you to go," Negan says. "Why? You have Simon and all your men why do you need me?" You ask while crossing your arms over your chest.

"We made a deal with these people but they're on the more dangerous side than most people we've dealt with. We need everybody." He explains and you sigh deeply. "I don't want to be involved with your 'business deals' Negan. You know how I feel about it." You say with a shrug. "And I don't believe these people willingly made a deal with you either." You say while raising your eyebrows and he chuckles slightly. "Alright, you got me there." He says while standing up from his seat. "These people killed a whole outpost of men for their supplies so we gave them an option of... We raid their shit and we let them live." He shrugs. "No harm, no foul." He says while grabbing your waist and pulling you closer to him. "I just want everybody there in case shit hits the fan. We need to defend ourselves." Negan explains.

"Mhm... What's the actual reason you want me to go? Because we both know I'm only good at killing the dead ones... Not the live ones." You say while squinting your eyes at him. He stares at you for a moment before sighing deeply with a smirk. "You see right through me every time.." He chuckles. "...You're going to be here all by yourself. I don't want you to be alone if something happens here. At least I know if you came with me I can protect you." He says while leaning his forehead against yours.

You clenched your jaw and slightly glared at him before groaning out a 'fine'. He smiled and placed a kiss on your forehead. "Let's get going then."

When you made it out to the trucks Negan ordered you to stay inside of the car until the gates were open. When you made it to the place called Alexandria you sat in the truck with one of Negan's men. You weren't paying attention entirely until the man dropped a heavy gun in your lap. You had no idea how to use it so it was clear it was given to you for threatening purposes. "It's safe now." The man says. You nodded and took a step out of the truck, the man following your steps on the other side.

You were looking down at the ground as you took a few steps. You finally looked up and looked at the people around the gate. There was a woman who looked hardcore and angry and a man who looked confused and kinda wimpy... Then your eyes landed on another man. Your eyes widened as your brain processed what you were seeing, hoping it wasn't another hallucination that you saw so much when you were dehydrated.

But you weren't dehydrated and this wasn't a hallucination. Your lips parted as a soft gasp escaped your lips. The gun you were holding onto fell from your hands and that's when you finally got the man's attention. Your body shook as he gave you a look of confusion into a look of disbelief, the same look you gave him. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as your body shook from the feeling of adrenalin and pure shock coursing through your veins.

Negan looked at you and then at him, confused about what was going on, and that's when you let out a shaky breath, "Dad?" You mumble. "Oh my god.." He whispered. You let out a shaky chuckle as tears finally fell from your eyes. "DAD!" You yelled as you ran full force towards him. Your arms swung open and wrapped around his neck as his arms slung tightly around your body. Your legs shook as you were barely able to keep yourself upright... If it wasn't for his tight grip on you, you would've fallen to the floor. You cried into his shoulder and held onto him tightly before pulling away. "I thought you were dead." You managed to choke out.

Negan stared at you both in disbelief and horror. He also felt stupid for not putting two and two together since you both had the same last name. "Is Carl...?" He nodded. "He's alive." You sigh in relief as a smile appears on your face. "And mom?" You ask. He just stares at you. Your smile slowly fades as you cover your mouth with your hand in disbelief. You let out a shaky 'oh' as you pulled away.

Your father's eyes flicked from you to Negan before looking back at you. "You're with him?" He asks. You nod your head as you wipe a tear that fell from your eyes. "How 'bout you go around Alexandria and look for your brother? Me and your dad have some things to discuss." Negan says while getting behind you and grabbing your shoulders and giving Rick a teasing smile. "Yeah... Yeah, that's a good idea." Rick says while glaring at Negan. You walked away from Negan's grip and you walked around the streets, getting the occasional glare from some of the people that live in Alexandria which made you frown.

But as you walked your eyes fell on a boy walking down the steps from his porch. You squinted your eyes and tried to make out the face of the person. It was hard to tell at first since he had a patch over his eye but you’d recognized that face anywhere.

You smiled and yelled out his name. He looked around for a moment before turning in your direction, his eyes falling onto yours. You smiled as his face turned from confusion to disbelief. With adrenaline coursing through your veins you ran towards him full force. He did the same and you both met in between and practically collapsed into each other. You both kept each other on your feet as you hugged each other tightly. After a minute you pulled away and cupped his face, tears going down both of your faces. “You’ve grown so much.” You chuckle. “I thought you were dead,” Carl says with a slight gasp. “Can’t get rid of me that easily little brother.” You say with a chuckle. You look at the patch on his eye and you slightly frown. “What happened?” You ask your thumb lightly brushing against the edge of it.

“I was shot,” Carl explains. Your eyes widen and you laugh. “You were shot in the face and you survived?! Holy shit I wish Dad informed me how much of a badass you were before I found you.” He chuckles. His eyes then glance to the ground and his smile disappears, he seems to be lost in thought. His eyes flicked back up to you and he sighed. “I have to show you something,” Carl says while backing off and walking back towards the house he came out of.

You follow him into the house and up the stairs. Carl stops in front of a door that was off to the side and he slowly opens it. Your eyes travel to the inside of the room until you see a little girl in a crib. You take a few steps inside and slightly gasp. “Who’s this?” You ask while walking towards her. “That’s Judith. Our sister.” Your head snapped towards him and your eyes widen. “Is that how mom…” He didn’t say anything which was an answer in itself. You nodded and looked back at the little girl. You chuckle and lifted her out of the crib and held her against your body. “Oh my… You are gorgeous.” You say while admiring her little face. But the moment was ruined by the sound of doors slamming open and people talking loudly downstairs. “Hide her.” Carl orders. You quickly put Judith down and left the room with Carl, shutting the door right on time as Simon came running up the steps.

He eyed you and Carl and you both kept your composure. “Everything good up here?” He asks. “Yes. Everything’s fine.” You say with a slight smile. He glanced at the door next to you both and gave you another weird look. “What’s in there?” Simon asks while nodding to the door. “Nothing. The room is empty. Carl was giving me a tour of his home and he offered to let me stay in this room when they get it furnished.” You say with a stern tone of voice.

“Hm... You should talk to Negan about that.” You wanted to argue back and say you were a grown woman and didn’t need his permission but you decided it would be best to keep your mouth shut in this situation. “Come on Carl. Let’s go downstairs.” You say while putting your arm around Carl’s shoulders and pulling him forward, not keeping your eyes off Simon until you went past him. When you made it downstairs Carl was staring in horror at the people in his home taking pretty much everything. “They’re taking all of our medicine,” Carl says. “We hid them here because they said they’d only take half,” Carl says while pulling away from you. “Carl-“ “No!” Carl yelled while grabbing a gun and going after them. “Carl DON’T-!” But it was too late.

A gunshot rang through the air causing you to jump. You quickly ran into the room and luckily everyone was okay, but Carl had a gun to one of Negan’s men. “Put them back, or the next one goes in you.” Carl threatens. “Kid… What do you think happens next?” The man laughed. “Carl.” You managed to get yourself in between the gun and the man and you were trying to calm him down. “Get out of the way.” “Carl don’t.” You warned. “Move.” “If you don’t put the gun down the punishment will be-“ You stopped yourself as you saw your dad running into the room, you knew Negan wasn’t too far behind so you kept your mouth shut.

Your father tried talking the same sense to Carl as Negan walked in. His eyes darted between the gun and you and he knew he had to intervene. Negan walked over to you both and stood next to you and got into Carl's line of sight. Negan chuckles. "Really kid?" He says with a smirk.

"You should go... Before you find out how dangerous we all are." Carl warns. You swallowed the lump in your throat and gave him a pleading look. "Well pardon me, young man, excuse the shit out of my goddamn French but... Did you just threaten me?" Negan asks. "Look I get threatening Davie here... But I can't have it, not him, not me-" "Carl just put it down-" "Don't be rude Rick we are having a conversation here." Your father and Negan argue back and forth. You continue to stare at Carl with pleading eyes as you knew if Carl pushed his limits or broke a rule no amount of begging would stop Negan... Not even for you. "Now boy... Where were we?" He asks.

"Oh yeah! Your giant man-sized balls. No threatening us. Listen I like you... I don't want to go hard proving a point here, especially in front of the lady here, and you don't want that. I said half your shit and half is what I say it is." Negan says in more of a more serious tone of voice. "I'm serious. Do you want me to prove how serious... Again?" Negan warns.

Carl stares at him then looks at you. You shook your head slightly and he sighed deeply. He moved his hand so the handle of the gun was facing you. Your trembling hands slowly grabbed the gun from his hands and held it to your side.

Negan turned to your father and started ranting to him and you grabbed Carl's shoulders. "What the hell is wrong with you?" You whisper to him. "They were taking our stuff," Carl argued. "You can always get that shit back! He'll kill you or someone else here and you can't get back." You hissed at him. "And you.." Negan turned to you both. You turned your head to him and saw him staring at you. He lifted his hand and wiggled his pointer and middle finger towards you telling you to give him the gun. You handed him the gun and he put it in his pocket.

"Rick go and get that stuff together for me will ya? And you... Come with me." He says while not moving his gaze from yours. You nodded and followed him out of the home. You followed him down the street and in between some houses. He then suddenly spun around and grabbed your arms softly. "I don't want you doing that shit again," Negan says sternly. "I knew he wasn't going to shoot me." You argued. Negan shook his head and sighed deeply. "I do not care. There is no damn reason for you to EVER stand in front of a gun. Ever." He says with a shake of his head. "Scared the hell out of me." He says while placing a kiss on your temple.

"I'm sorry.." You say with a frown. "Don't be sorry. I know you were trying to de-escalate the situation and I respect that... I just don't want you to get hurt." He says while cupping your face with his hands. "He's my brother. He wouldn't have hurt me." "I can't take that chance." He shakes his head. "I don't care if there's a 99% chance or a 0.01% chance. It's not an option." He says. “Understand?” He asks. You nodded and he smiled.

He kissed you on the cheek and pulled you in for a hug. You both stayed like that for a moment before Negan pulled away, giving you a tight squeeze before letting you move away from him. “Let’s go darlin’,” Negan says while lightly placing his hand on your lower back and leading you along.

You walked with Negan until you met up with your father and some of Negan’s men in front of a small bunker. The door to the bunker slowly opens to show a woman. “I… Figured you were coming.” She says nervously. “Show him where the guns are, Olivia.” Your father says. She nodded and you all walked inside. “You run the show in here?” Negan asks. “I just keep track of it all, the rations, the guns,” She explains. “Good. Smart. Don’t let me stop you. Arat, boys... Show ‘em the goods.” He smirks as everyone walks off. “Wait, wait, wait.” Negan stops your father.

“While they’re at it, I just want to point out to you that I’m not taking a scrap of your food. Slim pickin’s in here.” Negan says while pointing out the little to no food on the shelves. “And I can’t be the only one to notice that you got a fuckin’ fat lady in charge of keeping track of rations can I?” Negan says and you turn to him, “Negan.” You smack his arm and he puts his hands up. “Am I wrong?” He asks. “Yes. Don’t be an asshole.” You roll your eyes. He chuckles and slightly leans into Rick, “She keeps me on my toes.” Rick glares at him and he slightly leans back.

Negan looks at Rick, then at you, then at Rick again. “Y’know I just realized… We’re family now aren’t we?” You closed your eyes and cringed. “I mean… Should I call you dad or something?” Negan asks while slowly dragging his arm over your shoulder and pulling you close to his side.

Rick’s eyes flicked over to you and you swallowed another ball in your throat and you let out a deep sigh. “Right?” Negan asks. “Stop.” You whisper to him while giving him a pleading look. He wanted to keep going just to poke the bear some more but he didn’t want to continue if you were uncomfortable. He cared more for your feelings than his ego. “…Either way, you starve to death, I don’t get shit, so for now, you get to keep all the food. How ‘bout that?” Negan says, still keeping his arm around your shoulders.

Negan and Rick stare at each other for a few moments. A very awkward few moments. “What do you want me to say?” “I don’t know, Rick. How about a thank you.” Negan says while moving away from you and getting into your father’s face. “You think that might be in order? Or is that too much to ask?!” Negan yells. “Jesus stop!” You grab Negan’s arm and push him away from your father.

“Haven’t you done enough?” “All I’m asking for is a thank you.” You scoff. “I think we both know they have nothing to be thanking you for.” You shake your head at him before walking out of the bunker and down the streets of Alexandria. You stopped in front of Rick and Carl’s home and you sat on the steps, rethinking everything.

You placed your elbow on your knee and rested your forehead in your hand. You sat like that for a while before a familiar figure walked into your view. They stood there for a moment before slowly sitting next to you on the steps. “You angry with me?” He asks. You sigh and close your eyes. “What do you think?” You say with an annoyed tone of voice. “Why?” You turn to glare at him. “Why? Are you kidding me?” You say. “Is it because of Rick?” Negan asks. “Jesus no!” You yell. “…Well it doesn’t help.” You say while looking forward. “You know I don’t like being a part of this shit. I don’t like seeing this side of you... Especially since I know you did something bad to these people.” You say with your voice slightly cracking as tears filled in your eyes. You shake your head, not wanting to ask this question but you feel you have no choice.

“What did you do? I’m going to hear it from somebody so it might as well be from you.” He stares at you, he didn’t want you to find out. “I killed two of their people in front of them. One of them had a wife and she was sick. She witnessed it all… She didn’t make it.” Your mouth flew agape and your body tensed.

“Oh my god… And you expect a ‘thank you’ from these people!?” You stand on your feet and glare at him. “You say people are a resource and need to be protected but it’s all a lie!” You shout. “It’s not a lie.” He stands up to meet your level but instead, he just towers over you, making you feel inferior to him.

“People are a resource and need to be protected but rules need to be set and if they are broken there are punishments.” He argues. “And killing people in the answer?” You scoff. “You’re torturing these poor people and for what? Surviving?” “Killing off my men. That’s what.” He hisses while stepping forward and getting in your face. “Not like your men didn’t deserve it anyways. Most of them are criminals, rapists, or killers. But I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree does it?” You say while slowly looking at him up and down. Negan was seething, nobody spoke to him like this and he was getting pissed. “Watch your mouth.” “Or what? You’ll kill me?” You chuckled. “You don’t got the balls.” You hissed. It took all his might to not snap and lash out at you but he realized that it wouldn’t fix anything and you had every right to be angry.

But that doesn’t mean he won’t be any less angry with your words. “I have done everything for you. I have fought for you, I have killed for you, I put food in your belly and a roof over your head. I deserve goddamn respect.” He said in a low and threatening tone of voice. You shake your head. “I never asked you to save me.” You say, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

“What did you expect me to do? Leave you there to die?” “You should’ve. It would’ve been easier for the both of us.” You snapped back. Negan leans back and stares at you in disbelief.

You didn’t mean what you said, you were thankful Negan saved your life. You remember the day he found you. You were in a gas station and you had been sitting there for about a day or two just waiting to die. Your face was pale and you were practically skin and bones. You were sitting in the backroom in the dark when you heard a roar of an engine and footsteps entering the building. You didn’t have the energy to get up and find them and your throat was too dry to call out for help, so you sat there until the door opened and the light of a flashlight crawled up your body and landed on your face. You cringed and looked away from the light. The person who was shining a light called a name and another pair of footsteps entered the room. That was when the person shining the light lowered it and you made eye contact with the man who walked in the room. “Holy shit... Are you alive?” He chuckled, getting closer to you.

His smile disappeared when he saw how sick you looked. He walked over to you and knelt at your level. “I’m Negan.” He says. You gave him a slightly confused look and Negan sighs. “Simon. Go get some water.” He orders while still staring down at you.

Simon quickly came back into the room with a water bottle and handed him the bottle. He opened it and he snaked his hand behind your neck and lifted you. You slightly groan as he pulls your head forward in front of the bottle. Your lips touched the bottle and slowly gulped down the water. If you weren’t so dehydrated there was a good chance you would’ve cried.

When you needed a break you moved your head back and leaned back against the wall. “Y/N.” You mumbled. “What?” Negan asks as you barely let out a whisper. “…My name is Y/N Grimes.” You say while shifting around. “How long have you been here?” Negan asks. “A couple of days…” You say before letting out a hoarse cough. Negan lifts the bottle back to your lips and you take a few more gulps. “Is there anyone else around here?” He asks. You shake your head, “No. I’ve been alone since the beginning of the apocalypse.” You explain. His eyes widen and he scoffs with a smirk. “No shit? Wow. Good for you for lasting so long.” He says with a wide smile.

“Yeah… It gets lonely though.” You say while lifting the corner of your lips to smile slightly. Negan stared at you for another minute before mumbling an ‘alright’ and closing the water bottle and handing it back to Simon. He stands up slightly and begins to put his hands under your knees and behind your back. “What… What are you doing?” You ask. “I’m going to take you back to my camp. We have a doctor and food and water..” He explains. “…Why? You don’t know me.” You ask. “People are a resource. They need to be protected… And you won't survive much longer if I leave you here.” He explains. You nodded and he continued to pick you up.

You groaned as your body ached. Your muscles were so tense from sitting there for so long that just a slight movement caused your whole body to ache in pain. “We’ll get you patched up... It’ll be okay.”

And here you are… Many months later arguing with the man who saved your life. He stared down at you and he clenched his jaw. You could see on his face he wasn’t angry anymore, he was hurt. You didn’t expect it to hurt him in all honesty because Negan has been told a lot worse than what you said. But it did hurt him... And he didn’t know what to do about it. He sighed and looked around for a moment. “Head over to the truck.. We’re going to be leaving in a few minutes.” Was the only thing he managed to get out. Without looking at you he walks down the steps of the porch and down the street.

You stifled a sob and wiped the tears that had fallen down your face. After you pulled yourself together you walked over to the truck and saw David in the face of a young girl. “Say please again, little girl.” He chuckles. The girl lets out a ‘please’ and he smirks. “Yeah. One more time.” He says while running his finger down her cheek.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You yell out as you storm over to him. His head shoots towards you and you shove him away from the girl. “Who do you think you are?” David asks as he gets in your face. “Someone who will gladly put some fucker out of their misery.” You snapped back. “Now piss off.” You hissed. He glared at you and tried to walk away but you stopped him. You put our hand out, telling him to give you the item the girl wanted. He grumbled something under his breath and shoved the item in your hand. David walked away and you turned to the girl. “I’m sorry that happened…” You whisper as you handed her back the balloons. You squeezed her shoulder before walking off and following the truck.

“Get in the truck Y/N. Me and daddy dearest here gotta talk.” Negan says without looking at you. You glared at him and you were about to oblige his orders and get in the truck but you stopped yourself. You turned on your heel and walked over to your father and swung your arms over his shoulders. You both hugged each other tightly before Carl found his way under your arm and hugged you and your father as well.

When you finally pulled away you rested one hand on your father’s shoulder and the other on the side of Carl’s face. You gave them a soft smile as tears filled in all of your eyes. “I’ll be back. I promise.” You say in a low tone of voice as you run your thumb over Carl’s cheek to wipe away the tear that fell from his eye.

You give them another small smile before turning and walking away. Negan watched you closely as you walked past him, wiping your tears in the process. You sat in the van and stared down at the ground, trying not to cry anymore in the process. During the minutes of you sitting there, you looked over and saw Negan taunting your father. You balled your fists up and sighed in annoyance. You wanted to get out of the car and yell at Negan but you didn’t have the energy. You heard Negan chuckle as finally peeled himself away from your father and he got in the van next to you, Lucille in his hands. You looked down at your hands and furrowed your eyebrows. You didn’t want to even look at Negan... But you knew he was looking at you.

He made occasional glances at you in an obvious manner. He wanted your attention and in all honesty, he wanted you to feel slightly bad for what you said to him. But you never looked at him. Not even when you made it to the sanctuary and walked past him to get inside.

You ignored everybody and headed to your shared bedroom. When you finally made it to the bedroom that’s when you realized that the sun was setting and you sighed in relief. You were exhausted and you wanted nothing more than to fall into your bed and sleep the day away. You sat on the edge of the bed and buried your face in your hands. You sat for a while until you heard your bedroom door opening and closing. You glance up and saw Negan leaning against the doorframe and staring at you.

You wipe the tears that had fallen from your eyes and look to the side. Negan stares at you for a few more seconds before sighing and lightly smiling to himself, clearly thinking of a memory.

“Y’know… I remember the first time I saw you.” He says. “You were so frail and sick looking.” He says while slowly walking towards you. “I was worried if I touched you, you would shatter like a piece of glass.” He continues walking towards you. You look up at up and look at him through your hair. “But I knew you were a fighter. And even if I had left you there you would’ve fought yourself back to survival.” He says while kneeling in front of you. “Who would’ve thought you would fight yourself into my heart.” He says with a soft smile and gently tucking your hair behind your ear.

You look down at him with tears in your eyes and a frown on your face. “There’s no way I could’ve left you there because..” He sighs before continuing. “I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.” He says while resting his hand against your cheek and wiping the tears that had fallen.

“Look… You and I are not easy people to deal with. And together it’s even more difficult... But I wouldn’t change a thing.” He says while shaking his head, a soft smile on his lips. A small cry came out of my mouth and I close my eyes, "I-I didn't mean what I said... I didn't... I'm glad you found me I...* You say, your words stuttering a bit. "I know... I know baby..." Negan whispered while moving his hand up to wipe the tears off your cheeks.

"I just... I hate seeing this side of you, and knowing you're doing this to my family..." You say before taking a deep and shaky breath. "It hurts..." You mutter, just barely over a whisper. Negan frowns, "I know... But I have to be cruel to keep them in line." Negan says. You shake my head, "No... No, you don't." You say. Negan sighs, "Baby. Listen to me." Negan says while grabbing your cheeks between his hands, "I promise you... I won't hurt your family. I take my promises seriously and you know that." Negan says.

You nod and sniffle, "...Okay." I mumble. "Alright... Now come here...* Negan says while putting his arms out to you. You get off the bed and onto the floor in front of him and hug his torso tightly. He hugs you back tightly and lovingly. Negan would keep his promise... He wouldn't hurt your family, but everyone else in Alexandria was up for grabs... One thing Negan knew how to do...

Was how to manipulate.

PART 2

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I rant and rave about DiscoPunk performing and making albums and voguing together - but let the record show,

DiscoPunk goes fucking NUTS on Dance Dance Revolution

Pavitr and Gayatri are casuals that have a go on it at the arcade during their date nights 😊

For Miles and Gwen, it's a cute way to bond and tease each other, getting to know each other better and tripping over their collective four left-feet (You'd think Gwen would have the rhythm considering she's a dancer AND a drummer - but fam, Ballet is NOT the same as DDR)

But to DiscoPunk, this shit is NOT a game. To them DDR is a goddamn lifestyle.

Keep them away from that arcade cabinet because by God, they're here to wreck that shit. Bout to shake the whole place with it.

They're DDR Champions.

And that's ON TOP of Hobie's numerous Pac-Mac Champion wins, and his Space Invaders High-Score at the top of the credits list.

If you ever see the initials 'DSC0PNK' on a DRR machine? THAT'S THEM.

They play on EXPERT. They're not half-assing it. They're doing the arm motions and all

They're the couple that dance facing away from the screen, just to stunt on everyone there.

The ones that hop and switch dancepads with each other mid-song for fun.

Hobie's in his big-ass boots meanwhile Diane has on flip-flops. Neither are proper footwear for the intense athleticism they are engaging in. They do not care.

They only way they get away with it is telling Miguel they're 'Training'.

Of course Miguel knew that had to be a crock of bullshit. One afternoon that use that excuse.

Miguel lets them off the hook, but as soon as they leave, he asks Lyla - "They're making out or something, aren't they?"

And Lyla has to be the one to tell him. '....No, they're actually 'training'...'

Miguel raises an eyebrow. "For some reason, I'm not sure I believe you."

Lyla sighs. She pulls up the surveillance footage on Miguel's screen to show him that no, they are not making out, they're just hogging the fucking arcade machine in some Camden arcade going fucking nuts on a Dance Dance Revolution machine.

Miguel takes one look at them and thinks 'Fucking Boomers'

They take it so seriously. TOO seriously.

They'll fist-fight with any couple and even THINKS about clearing their high-score. Seriously, they're about to brawl with Felicia and Flash Thompson of Earth-1294 cause they topped their record-breaking High Score on Aqua's 'Barbie Girl'

- and now Diane and Hobie are training to beat their high score in Smile.dk's 'Butterfly'.

That's their together time.

Hobie can't dance for the fucking life of him but he CAN hit every single arrow on that screen eyes closed. And Diane has never touched a video game in her life - not even Tetris - but this ISN'T a game it's a COMPETITION goddamnit.

They just love being completely in synced with each other, they have full conversations while playing levels.

Hobie even learned how to hack it, so he could upload all kinda songs to the thing.

And when they play AGAINST each other, EVEN BETTER.

Jesus Christ almighty. The TRASH TALK.

Swinging limbs are each other to throw them off, sticking out their hands to cover the other one's screen.

DEATH GLARING at each other because yes Diane loves Hobie but she's not about to let him embarrass her up on this arcade, are you kidding me???

She's like "Think you can keep up with me, toothpicks?" (He has toothpicks for legs 😭😐)

"Who'd of thought the 'Disco Diva' would be 200 points behind, yeah?"

Do you understand? Do you see it???

DISCOPUNK Dance Dance Revolution

Miles and Gwen staring at them like 'Why are they so cute at everything!!!!! Why do our friends keep out-cute-ing us!!!'

Meanwhile Pavitr and Gayatri are secretly planning to take their title.

For three weeks straight, all you'll hear is Hobie and Diane yelling about the mysterious 'GP4E' duo that took down their score.

Little do they know that stands for 'Gayatri + Pavi 4Ever' (Pavi's idea, of course)

Now.. They must train.

There's an anomaly in 234? Who the hell cares!!! The arcade machine just got Cascada 'Everytime We Touch'!!!! THEY'RE BUSY!!!!!

[dunkledog]

Introductory Post !

I fear something of this nature is long overdue. So here it is.

I go by Lucifer and my pronouns are he/him. I'm an artist, I enjoy writing, and most of all I enjoy frolicking in anything TF2-related. Most of my art is somehow TF2-related these days. I'm back in the trenches of my biggest obsession hehee... I do have non-tf2 content that I may upload more of.

Unfortunately I don't post often. I'm more active on my main blog, @lucifer-the-fetus-eater, but I don't really post art over there, just general hijinks, rambling, and reblogging. I do dabble in SFM... So I might start posting stuff like that sometime. Who knows

For general warnings, I'm liable to post artistic depictions of blood and gore, possibly body horror, suggestive content, drug use, crude humor, and foul language. I will do my best to tag posts with the appropriate trigger warnings. Discretion is advised.

Now is a better time to mention than never that due to the general nature of my content, this blog is NOT intended for users under the age of 18. I apologize for not clarifying this sooner.

REGARDING ASKS:

I definitely should've been clear about whether or not I'm accepting requests. As of currently, I am not, since I have a bunch that are still sitting in my ask inbox and have been for months that I wanna try and fulfil before accepting any more.

I will, however, answer questions! I will answer questions about... like... anything, I guess. I'm afraid I might open pandora's box with that one, but to hell with it. Why not?

I don't want to make this too long, but below the cut I have described some blog-specific tags you'll start seeing on some of my posts.

!this post might change and update as time goes on!

Blog-specific Tags

#the magic renaissance - This is my main OC world. It's full of random fantasy crap I've cobbled together over the past like... 7-ish years. It's technically an urban fantasy since it features an alternate history Earth with magic and non-human sapient species and other neat stuff. The (segmented across time periods) story takes place surrounding six main characters. Heinz and Franz (Infernal Emperors), Adrik (Harbringer of Winter) Ritter and Winnifred (Twin Seraphim), and Connor (Son of Creation). There's a lot more, but idk how to condense it more than that just for this post.

#coarse gravel - The basic idea behind this one is "what if The Gravel Wars actually happened, and Valve was hired by the US Government to create a silly 'documentary' video game so no one would take it seriously?" It's like a version of the TF2 universe, but significantly less cartoonish with alternate, more disturbing lore. (With respawn mechanics inspired by Emesis Blue.) It takes place deep in the Rocky Mountains and focuses on the conflict between D.A.C.S, (aka Defense Area Control Squadron, a division or RED), and S.H.A.U, (aka Specialized Heavy Assault Unit, a division of BLU.)

#salem: supernatural reckoning - I haven't posted or mentioned this one at all as of writing this. Mainly because it's very new. It's way more of an elaborate shitpost than anything else... It's a TF2-based universe where these angel and demon teams run around trying to foil each other. I really let myself go crazy with this one. The conflict is between two angels of death-- one fallen, and the other still in reputable standing. One is in part responsible for the respawn machine, the other is trying to find a way to free the souls in its belly. You know how it is.

[lovelycreativetragedies]

crawl home to ya⚡🌊

lego niniago fic, requested by nobody ( this is a re upload from my wattpad.) no trigger warnings! feel free to request.

follow me on wattpad for more frequent uploads + more fics. I upload on wattpad before tumblr:) ( @justwastingawayhere on wattpad)

context : based off of Nya and jay during the prime empire season. after nya gets cubed and jay is left alone to save ninjago yknow! (but with an alternative sad ending.)

based off of " Work song " by Hozier

main quote - > " when my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth, no grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her. "

(flashback)

Jay was sobbing into the orange luminescent cube that used to be his world, nya. he couldn't do this alone. but he needed to try.

(end of flashback)

he trudged up the stairs of the monestary, pushing that memory out of his mind. he was so angry.

he had freed everyone from the clutches of that stupid damn game. except one. Nya.

somehow when she got cubed.. something went wrong. nobody knew why she hadn't came back. thats what pissed him off. he had failed to save the only person he loved, and nobody even knew why.

he stormed off to his room, ignoring the worried glances he got from the newly freed ninja.

he made it to his bed, flopping down on it and just sobbing. his real parents were right to leave him on a doorstep, a junkyard is right where he belongs.

After an uncomfortable slumber, he awoke to the sound of someone knocking on his door. he groaned. he didn't wanna hear from anyone right now.

He slowly pulled himself up, too tired to notice.. the water that littered his floor. which was definitely weird, the monestary didn't usually randomly have water leaking from anywhere. especially not his room.

when he opened the door, he found zane standing there with a worried look on his face. " hey jay? how are you doing? " zane asked, even though he knew the answer. jays tear stained eyes were enough of a hint. " not.. good.. " jay mumbled. Zane immediately hugged him, which was way out of character for him. zane never hugged anyone. jay accepted the hug, as zane came into his room, still having his arm wrapped tightly around jay.

" woah- your floor is covered in water. what in the name of ninjago happened? " Zane said, stepping over the puddles of water to jays bed. " I dunno. " jay said, sniffing as he was placed onto his bed. he leaned his head on zanes shoulder, sniffing.

Zane decided itd be a good idea to stay with jay tonight. so once he fell asleep, he also layed down and fell asleep.

in the middle of the night, jay awoke, startled. he heard water splashing, and he looked over to see Zane snoring next to him. what the hell was all that water? that's when he saw it.

a figure standing in the corner, covered in water. nya.

" nya!! " jay screamed, running towards her. but she got further and further away from him. " ꒐̶i̶m ̶s̶o ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y ̶j̶a̶y." nya said, but her voice was all distorted and muffled.

then, jay woke up. that was a horrible nightmare.

he then noticed a blue light leaking out from just outside his bedroom door. not this again. it reminded him of the door to.. prime empire.

jay got up, slowly walking towards his bedroom door. he creeked it open, and only saw blue. he stepped slowly into the blue light.

when his vision finally focused again he noticed nya in the void of blue. it was only her, and she was crying.

" .. nya?.. is it really you this time? "

jay croaked out, stepping towards her.

" jay?? jay!! " nya screamed, running towards him and embracing him tightly. " oh god.. you don't know how much I wanted you to get my message. I can't- I can't get out of here! I'm trapped! wait- we're trapped!! "

jay then realised that as well, and like a lost dog, he spun around, noticing the same door he came through, still there. he grabbed nyas hand, dragging her towards the door. he jumped through it, throwing nya through. if he didn't make it through, he was making sure she would.

he landed roughly on the floor, he immediately rolled over, trying to grab hold of nya. when he finally did, he burst into tears and hugged her tighter than he ever had before.

" I thought you were gone forever nya! " he shouted, sniffing and choking on his sobs.

then zane shot up from the bed, running over to both of them. " nya?! jay- are you both okay?! "

" I'm okay! jay- oh god you're bleeding!! " nya screamed, grabbing him up from the floor. he hadn't even realized he had hit his head hard on the floor and it was bleeding pretty bad.

he still didn't let go of nya. he was so terrified she'd disappear again. nya sat him down on the bed, not trying to pull him off of her at all. whilst zane went to go get something to stop the bleeding on his head. this would be a delight to explain to the other ninja and master wu.

once jays head was taken care of, nya was scared that he might have a concussion. he hadn't spoke a word, just cried and whimpered and clung onto nya.

she layed him down in bed, staying next to him as they both slept.

everything would be alright.

[celestiall0tus]

I think it's a really interesting idea that Paradise!Emilie, during her time trying to create hell on earth, would also be out to get rid of miraculous and miraculous holders who have what she views are "evil concepts (like revelry, animosity, and fear). Maybe to take it up a notch, she'll try to recruit those with what she views a "good," which is why she lets Sabrina join the villain team. Maybe she would even try to recruit Bridgette, making a deal with her. It would also be interesting to see where Marinette/Dusk would fall on her "good and evil" spectrum (since Emilie herself is actively deceiving and manipulating people).

You will soon see. Paradise has entered the drafting stages. It will be a couple weeks yet before I add it to the upload schedule, but know that Paradise has begun

[megan-loves-surveys]

#46.

Under the read more again lol.

How has covid affected you? I've had it a few times, it was annoying.

What is a comfort show of yours? Simpsons.

Are you open about your past or do you not let anyone in? Depends.

Favourite fast food joint? KFC.

Do you think we were put on this earth for a reason? Maybe.

What is something you have done this year you’re proud of? Kept up my gym routine.

Do u ever feel like surveys are usually the same questions? They can be.

What were you doing 10 years ago? Not much, but I did have a fun trip to California, Nevada and New York.

Do you call out Karen’s when they’re harassing a cashier? I don't really see that happen.

Animal crossing , yay or nay? Never played it, so no opinion.

Why do you like to do surveys? Cos I just do.

Did you ever have a MySpace ? Never.

Do you think breaks are toxic in a relationship? They're stupid. What are you, Ross and Rachel? LOL.

Do you have a YouTube channel? If no , would you create one? If yes what’s your content? I have one, but I only upload the occasional concert video I've taken.

Are you a math person? Not at all, I have that maths dyslexia.

What’s the worse thing someone has said to you? I don't want to recall.

Have you ever befriended someone because you felt bad? No.

Would you ever date someone online? Sure.

Have you been ghosted before? Would you ghost someone? Yes, and yes.

When do you think things will be normal again? They mostly are!

Do you watch anime? No.

Biggest goal you wanna reach before 2024 is over ? Keep up my gym routine.

How old did/do you turn this year ? 37.

Do you like tiktok? It's stupid.

Do you ever miss vine? No idea.

How are you doing, seriously? Pretty good.

Is there someone you want to talk to but you know you can’t? No.

Do you make jokes to cope with your problems? Sometimes.

Have you ever had someone call you their best friend but you didn’t even consider them a close friend? No.

Have you ever dealt with a pathological liar? No.

Long or short surveys? Both, depends on the questions.

If ur in school , are you doing it on zoom or in class? -

Would you ever have a pet rat? Hell yes, I love them!

Favourite memory with your best friend? There's sooooo many.

Favourite type of content to watch on YouTube? Pokemon, wrestling, celeb gossip, drama, music etc.

Are you allergic to anything serious? Antibiotics.

Dream job? Traveling the world.

Do you think dreams mean anything? They can do.

Fav clothing brand? None.

Do you miss anyone? Yes.

Do you have a pool? LMAO no.

How many times have you been on a plane? Dozens. One trip alone I took 10 flights lol.

Favorite icecream flavor? Cookies & cream.

The key to happiness is? Doing what makes you happy like your hobbies and spending time with people you like and care about.

Favorite movie actress/actor? Johnny Depp.

Last time you ordered fast food? Yesterday, I had KFC.

First CD you ever purchased? With my own money, Billie - Honey To The B lol.

Favorite book you read? The entire Weather Warden series.

Do you own anything from Tiffany&Co.? No.

Do you have a TikTok? No.

Closest red object you see: A packet of chips haha.

Last time you went to the zoo, year: Dunno, maybe in Washington DC in 2015. Can't think if I've been to any since then.

I made an extra grilled cheese, want it? No thanks. I love grilled cheese but I had it the other day and don't want it again so soon lol.

Do you enjoy driving? Never done it properly.

First initial of your middle name; S.

How many TVs do you have in your home? 2 - one downstairs and one in my room.

Do you play TheSims4? Yep.

Have you ever made your own bath bombs? No. We don't even have a bathtub xD

Your favorite store as a teen? Glassons probably.

Favorite memory of 2020? Um... nothing in particular. 2020 sucked.

Happy 21st Birthday, what is/was your first legal drink purchase? I don't remember.

Do you wear socks to bed? Yes. My feet will absolutely freeze in the cold weather without them.

Who do you know who enjoys sushi? My Mum loves it.

You get 2 pizza toppings, what are they? Hawaiian.

Ever dipped your pizza in ranch? We don't eat ranch in NZ.

Ever dye your hair blonde? My hair is naturally blonde, so no lol.

Do you know anyone famous? No. I know a few wrestlers but they're all local to NZ lol.

Favorite YouTuber? Call Me Kevin, and lately this guy called Pleasant Green who does videos messing with scammers, he's so funny and informative.

You can only listen to one genre of music for the rest of your life, you choose: Pop, cos it's so wide ranging.

Name a Pokémon: Luxray! My fave <3

Quick! Think of something pink, what is it? Anything Barbie.

How many siblings do you have? None.

Favorite beverage on a hot summer day? Just ice cold water.

How long was your longest romantic relationship? My current one, over 2 years.

Last place you traveled for vacation? Australia, I went to Melbourne for a WWE show.

Your at your local coffe shop; what are you ordering? Frappe at Starbucks.

With a 45 minute drive; I’m at the beach, how about you? Definitely, I live an on island.

Ever order a lobster for yourself at a restaurant? No.

Favorite snack at the movie theater? Popcorn.

Childhood memory: Loads, can't pick.

How many marshmallows do you think you can fit in your mouth at once? Depends on how big they are.

Last meal you prepared? Toast yesterday haha.

Do you think the number 13 is unlucky? No, it's super lucky, cos it's my birthday.

Would you like a “do-over” if possible? Nah.

How many cousins do you have? 6.

Name a girl band: Little Mix!

Last concert you went too? Five <3

Last item you bought that was over $100? I bought a vacuum cleaner for my Mum, it cost $108, but she paid me back for it.

Look to the left, what do you see? My Mum lol, she's eating cereal xD

Favorite cologne/perfume scent: I don't wear it, it just makes me sneeze.

Britney Spears deserves her freedom? Definitely. But she also has mental health issues and should have help for that - but not a conservatorship.

Have you had Apple Jacks cereal? No.

Do you believe in ghosts? Not really, but who knows.

How many pillows do you have on your bed? 2, one I use, one I don't.

Name one fear: Spiders.

Have you ever been to New York City? Yep, 4 times.

Would you audition for a reality tv show if the opportunity presented itself? Depends which one.

Most famous person from your town/state? Umm... I'm not sure which famous NZ people come from Auckland. Maybe Lorde?

Ideal birthday dessert? Cake!

Do you know what reiki is? No.

[dollarbin]

Shakey Sundays #23:

Landing on Water

Neil Young often struggles to read the fine print.

When he decided to save the world from environmental destruction he hired a film crew and wrote an entire album about transitioning his beloved Lincoln away from fossil fuels before putting any actual engineers to work. Thirty years earlier, after first seeing Star Wars, he assembled an entire crew of jawas to act as his roadies before checking in with George Lucas. Lucas sued; the Lincoln literally blew up.

And when, in 1986, Neil buckled up in David Geffin's private musical jet and got to work on his first truly ambitious record with broad popular potential in nearly a decide, he hired David Kortchmar as his co-pilot.

What the hell was Shakey thinking? Kortchmar had spent almost 20 years adding mediocre touches to Carole King and James Taylor records; he'd then gone on to mess up Linda Ronstadt's 70's sound and had recorded a solo record entitled Kootch. I'd love to paste in a sample of that album's horrors but it appears that no one, in the entire universe, has uploaded a single track from the album to YouTube.

Nevermind, here's the album's lead track; the kookiemonster himself probably posted it, sure that 50 years later his moment had finally come. I think you and me are the first person to ever listen to this song:

Geffen surely passed Danny Boy's resume to Neil at some point around 1985 and begged him to consider it. "Give me anything, Neil, anything. Just so long as it does not sound like Old Ways 2: Even Older."

Young, in turn, was surely about to use Kootchie's resume to wipe his dog Elvis's ass; but then he saw something of interest:

Kootch had produced Don Henley's smash 84 record Building the Perfect Beast. And Young surely knew that album's lead track; after all, it remains one of the best white man songs of the 80's:

Who wouldn't want to grab hold of the guy responsible for such a song? Neil was probably just as taken with the high end schmaltz in its video as he was with the driving, instantly classic tune: once he had Korcharmer in his pocket, Neil surely fantasized that he too would soon be all over MTV, shirtless and grinning, surrounded by fawning jawas and buxom ladies.

But he should have read the fine print!

Building the Perfect Beast is not perfect. Indeed, it is alternatively transcendent and unlistenable. Spend a moment with the credits and you'll see why: the 4 good songs feature Tom Petty's Heartbreakers; Ben Tench, Stan Lynch and, most importantly, Petty's lead guitarist Mike Campbell lent Henley their mighty hands as he deftly climbed out of his rock and roll casket just moments before Geffen ordered him interned in the earth.

But the rest of the album? It's pure Kootchie Kootchie.

I dare you to try and survive all of Man With a Mission, one of the non-Heartbreaker tracks. Somebody get me a bucket...

... cause I need to spew chunks all over Henley's manicured perm.

And Boys of Summer itself? It's a Mike Campbell demo that Tom Petty himself took a pass on before Henley seized it and wrote some (admittedly pretty great) lyrics. And what, you ask, did the Cokemiester do on the track? He probably suggested more synths, thereby earning himself a co-writer credit; happily Henley passed.

Neil clearly missed these vital details. He thought he was gonna get his very own Boys of Summer vibe in the studio and, oh boy, that's not what he got. (And just imagine for a moment how cool it would have been if Young had hired The Heartbreakers instead of Danny Cockstapler. Imagine Landing on Torpedoes nestled majestically in Neil's catalog.)

My famous brother has ideas of his own about all this. He recently claimed in print that Landing on Water, the record Neil and Handy Danny ultimately made, is better than Trans.

Well, huh.

On the one hand, my brother is famous for a whole bunch of reasons. I mean check out his blog right now and you can get your hands on his first solo record, which he and others claim sounds like Yo La Tengo meets Guided By Voices (they're wrong; rather, it sounds like my brother meets Arthur Lee, as produced by Robert Smith) for the very Dollar Bin price of absolutely nothing.

But on the other hand, he once claimed that Dylan's Live at Budokan was good, and some of you remember how I shredded his soul and stomped upon his dignity in response.

So let's put him to the test once again and give Landing on Water a fresh listen. I just hope I don't get korched in the process...

Side 1 opens with a lot of keyboard flatulence; in Weight of the World it sounds like Neil is hauling around all of Young Dan's new wave records on his back, rather than the world's mass, and they all seem to suck. Neil does supply a sensitive bridge chock full of self-pity. But it's hard to pity a guy who chose to make this record with D. Corkboard instead of Crazy Horse.

Next up is Violent Side and the song is certainly interesting. Typically, male penned confessionals focus on self-abuse and lady troubles. But here Neil counsels himself to take a chill pill before he breaks someone's face.

It should be great. But Young lets D. Crappy dress the track in plodding, anthemic garbage, complete with a choir. The song is about anger; Neil should have brought in Billy Talbot and David Briggs to kick Danny's wine cork sniffing ass.

Hippie Dream is, deservedly, the best known track from Landing on Water. The song feels important from the get-go and the Crockpot man's arrangement is less busy than otherwise on the record. Everything here is enjoyable sinister.

I imagine Neil had a fairly rough time trying to explain this song to Crosby and Stills a year or so later when they got back together on Young's ranch to make the mostly terrible American Dream.

Neil: Hippie Dream is not really about you two; it's more of a feeling thing, you know?

Crosby: Cut the crap, Neil. You said our wooden ship was capsized in excess, and that's just not true. Somebody hand me my golden goblet of unicorn milk; I'm thirsty.

Neil: No, seriously, I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings!

Stills: Dude, what are feelings?

The album's fourth song, Bad News Beat, is pretty dull filler. What I find fascinating is that Yo La Tengo covered it in the late 80's. The song is a pretty good vehicle for Ira Kaplan's cranky nerd vocal stylngs, sure, but their performance mostly makes me realize just how earnestly people sat down to consider this record back in the day. Everyone really needed Shakey to resume putting out important music, and they didn't know if it would ever happen again. And so they seized on mediocre fare, talking themselves into its worth. Happily for them and us Ragged Glory was just around the corner...

Side 1 culminates with a pretty great song which, like just about everything on the record, would be much better as a Crazy Horse epic. I've written about Touch the Night a bit elsewhere. But the video, which is just like the one for Boys of Summer if you consider pigs and pigeons as basically the same thing, always deserves another posting.

OOOOOOO-ooo-WA! Hey, everyone: touch the night.

Side 2 is a bit less interesting. People on the Street sounds like it was intended for The Village People; Hard Luck Stories sounds like it was written and performed on an Apple 2E, I Got a Problem is better by the Shocking Pinks and Drifter, which features an annoying "did somebody step on a duck?" riff, totally sucks, in spite of its fairly gnarly guitar soloing.

But the second to last song, Pressure, is my favorite thing on the record. Packed tight with, well, pressure, it rocks, kinda like you're suddenly enjoying a terrible trip to the dentist.

While listening to this song I start to feel like my famous brother is right yet again. Maybe Landing on Water really is better than Trans... then again, maybe not.

Regardless, not even Danny Korchmar can ruin this frantic song. Go Neil go.

Cheers Everyone.

[ultramaga]

“ i genuinely don’t get how this is an exciting prospect “ CGI has been replacing actors for forty years. It is a tool. Currently, Hollywood has been churning out terrible movies/TV over and over.

Hell, recently Sarah Silverman was shrieking because youtubers aren’t striking. It turns out better entertainment can be made in your basement by a dude with a webcam talking about their hobbies. AI isn’t making better movies than Hollywood script writers. It’s just that it isn’t making worse.

Because the writing has managed to somehow dive below ground level and to keep going.

There’s no bottom floor to the ride. We should have passed the center of the Earth and be poking up the other side. But it is still going down. Why is it still going down?!!!

And the acting. What can I say about the acting.

If it turned out most of the last twenty years was an elaborate joke, it would be fine. Hell, I want to wake up in a hibernation pod and be told the alien parasite eating my brain has been removed, and good movies can once again be made. It’s not like there isn’t talent out there. 

It’s just not in the Hollywood machine any more. So Hollywood can happily fire almost every human, leaving a few to look over things and keep them at least mediocre, and you know what, most customers would be happy with that, because most people aren’t really paying attention.

They want to switch their brains off and have pretty colours to look at, while they do other things.

They aren’t thinking. There’s no experience here to form a treasured memory. They are just being distracted.  And that’s fine. Because either actors can go to other jobs, or if they really can act, they can go to indie productions, or even do theatre.

When cinema was invented, I am sure it meant the loss of jobs for a lot of actors. But acting on stage remains, century after century. The career of many silent movie stars failed as soon as we had sound. Different talents were required. But there was no stopping that juggernaut. Change is coming. 

New jobs will arise. 

And unless some talentless hacks are gatekeeping entertainment, then new talents will appear. 

Nobody could have predicted Monty Python. Flying High. The Naked Gun. Hell, here’s a stage show production of a musical version of Young Frankenstein, an adaption of horror movies adapted from a book.  https://youtu.be/wBg4Ltwteg4 “ this makes me want to kill everyone in the room and then myself “

So this is happening, this has been happening for centuries before you were born and will keep happening until human extinction, and possibly even after that.  You can moan about it, or you can try and steer it in a positive direction. I would say that if you didn’t help those workers who lost their jobs to automation when they were blue collar workers, why do you give a damn when they are overpaid Hollywood hacks?

Will your life end if Amy Schumer doesn’t queef in your face one more time? So how can this be steered to a positive outcome? Well, forget the idea of protecting biometric data. Governments/corporations have been harvesting BILLIONS OF PEOPLE and all of that is then sold on. If they want to make a virtual actor, they don’t need your consent and will not be paying you. If you look at a screen and see your face, you can consult a lawyer, but you may well find that in the small print of the facebook ToS they had that they retained the right to distribute any images you uploaded. It’s going to be hell to try and get that genie back in the bottle now. States would have to start action NOW so that in a decade or so, maybe, the AIs won’t be fed the harvested data from social media and the odds are that it won’t even be needed by then.

All we need is one poorly paid supervisor to look at thousands of images of bot generated faces, pick out the best ones, they are then wrapped onto existing models and puppeted. Actors are not necessary to the streaming services, and it could be argued that Snow White proved that they haven’t been used for years. Hollywood just hired people with dark skin colours, the ‘correct’ sexuality, and so on, ticking off DEI. They didn’t give a shit about acting. Customers still paid for it.

My god, by the time I finish this post, at least five new Star Trek series have been created, all of them with Spock being a pathetic man-baby.

And people pay for them.

Hollywood actors and writers don’t need to be replaced by AI. A cat wandering over a keyboard can do a better job.

This cat ain’t no scab!

most reddit comments around the use of AI to replace actors and screenwriters seem to look like this and maybe i’m just a luddite and my mind isn’t open enough, but i genuinely don’t get how this is an exciting prospect or desirable future for people. the sole idea of art and cinema being like this makes me want to kill everyone in the room and then myself. i don’t… get it

[unboundtravels]

SHORT TRIPS; UNBOUNDNOVEMBER 17/23: OUT OF TIME (2)

Paris, 1809. The (Goth) Doctor takes a tour of the Catacombs and meets a sassy Time Agent doing the same… Paris, 1944. The (Looney) Doctor misses his target and lands in occupied France. He hides from passing soldiers– in the Catacombs. A collision of two Doctors' timelines triggers a temporal catastrophe, granting the Cybermen dominion over the Earth. The Doctors must travel back in time to find the source of the Cyber-invasion and close the Gates of Hell...

*This is probably the longest drabble out of all of them. This is because it's actually most of a WIP fic of a story adaptation of the same name that I was going to upload to a03. I just don't think I'll ever get around to finishing it and as tis the season for Multidoctor stories... Well. Enjoy my work so far.

TW: //Long post

Eerie didn’t even begin to describe the Barrière d'Enfer. Round indents on the wall quickly became defined as the remains of those who once walked upon the ground above. Now, they were resigned to a fate, ever present to remain as the support for the weight of those who live above. It’s almost touchingly poetic in some kind of odd way. At least… That’s what she thinks. 

Her eyes scanned the catacombs before the voice of the tour guide ahead called, spouting about how he knew the subterranean city better than anyone. The woman, wearing an afternoon dress and a pair of heeled walking boots, is working hard to keep her wits about. She’s focused, cool, pale skin houses green eyes that scan over the darkened halls of the French catacombs. There’s a strange appeal, but she’s not letting herself get distracted.

Until something snags her dress. She turns to face the figure, and from under the brim of her hat, she shoots an icy glare. “Pardon me, Monsieur…” She snarls, “You are stepping on my dress.” She motions, hiking it up a little bit so that the stranger behind her snags his foot out. Although, she’s suddenly taking him in… and it’s a bit strange for her to comprehend. Tall, dark, and a bit striking, the man behind her wears a cotton black coat over a sweatshirt, with jeans and… laced boots. Emerald hues meet crimson, and his voice is colder than the room itself.

“Who even wears a dress on a tour of the catacombs?” “It never hurts to dress in style, Monsieur. You could learn a thing or two.” She snarks back.

The Man hisses quietly in quiet agreement, “Touche.” He remarks before joining her side, hands buried in his pocket. She continues speaking, almost as if she enjoys the idea of striking a conversation with a stranger who stepped on her dress rather than continuing to listen to the croaking voice of the eerie tour guide. “You would think these steps would be wider for the tourists, non?”

“Tourists?” The man remarks. Damn. A slip-up. Why did she slip up like that?

“Do you not think these catacombs will become popular in Paris? They’re a sight to marvel at, I think.” She tries to save it, and The Man shrugs his shoulders quietly before sighing. “Oh yes, I’m sure.” He seems a bit amused by her as if he knows what she’s thinking about… talking. Although he suddenly snaps his gaze toward her.

“Time agent?” He asks as if he’s got her pegged. “Consider my pride wounded.” “I do that a lot.” He’s quick with the banter, too. 

She wanted to bite her tongue, but she couldn’t resist. One of the Time Agency’s top agents, and here she was… cover blown… not even fifteen minutes into the mission. He must be here for the same reason she is. However, he can’t help himself from rubbing salt in the wound. “It was the hat.” He said after a quick smirk, “Won’t come into fashion until next year. Neither will the boots.” He made a quick nod.

“You’ll have to wait another six years for those bad boys. 1815 is a better year than 1809, though.” 

She can’t help but make an even more sour face. She just shifts the topic, “No one else seemed to notice, so I must’ve caught you staring, non?” She let her accent hang a bit deeper with that one. He wasn’t all that bad looking, really, now that she was noticing. Her face suddenly soured again when he kept his eyes straight, verbally punching her in the gut with how little he seemed to care about her flirting.

“What’re you doing here?” He finally looked down at her as they began to sink closer and closer to the back of the group so their conversation could be more modestly private. She gave him another teasing punch back, not one to give up so easily. Besides, if he really was who she thought he was— when else would she get a chance to be playful again? “What’re you doing here~?” She purred.

“It was an accident.” He seemed quick to respond as if he really had nothing to hide. “I was aiming for Vienna, so I could sit in on Mozart’s … 1770… he was on fire.” He huffed, “Something knocked me off course by about thirty years.” He grumbled quietly, giving her a side-eyed stare. “Some kind of pothole in the time vortex.” He gave her an almost sharply accusatory look. She caught it, and before he could even ask.

“I’m here to investigate the same thing. Some type of paradox. It’s a very basic investigation, but something caught our eye… and so I’m here to find out.” She raised an eyebrow at him before tilting her head. “I thought it might’ve been you.” She said, curling her lip into a smirk when she saw confusion paint his features. “Me?” He huffed out in an offended yet surprised tone, “Don’t be daft… why would it be me?” To which the Time Agent scoffed.

“There’s no need to be coy, Monsieur.” She watched him ease up, “Blue Box? Out-of-place clothing? I heard you even played a recorder.” She watched him grumble quietly about how he’d been exposed, “Sadly, I haven’t played the recorder in about six hundred years.” He spoke out to confirm his identity to her. The Doctor. A time traveler. Apparently… he’s a Timelord, too. One of the last ones, to be exact. She shrugged, “Disappointing. I enjoy a man who can serenade me.” She teased, before following it up immediately with another question.

“So, now you’re sightseeing?”  “Something brought me here…” He pointed down, “To the Barrière d'Enfer.” “The Gates of Hell.” She spoke the English name aloud. It was fitting. 

He nodded in response to the name, “It’s important that I figure out what it was before I skip along back to where I’m supposed to be.” The Doctor mused aloud before resting his hands inside his pockets. A sign on the wall leading them deeper into the catacombs causes him to get distracted. Stop. This is The Empire of The Dead. As far as welcomes go, there’s no more fitting of one than that. She catches his attention again, having read it herself.

“I cannot speak for you, Doctor… but I think I am rather excited. Shall we~?” Something about that made him smirk. He understood that feeling. The Allure.

“After you.”

Like a crashing object through a windstorm, The TARDIS rockets through the Time-Space Vortex. The Console Room rocks as if it were a house in a tornado. The time rotor in the central column moves up and down while a mix match of different controls scattered across a six-paneled console are all clicked and switched accordingly. The groaning and wheezing of the engines indicate that the ship is being pushed to a speed she’s never even reached before. All the while, a voice urges her on throughout the console room.

“C’mon!!! C’mon!!” A foot-wearing high-top sneakers move to swing his leg across the controls to kick a nearby lever, leaving his foot there to press at different controls while one hand rests on a steering lever and the other reaches for a couple of dials and click-switches. “We’re trying to go fast on purpose! You’ve got more hustle in you than that!!” The Doctor echoes out, sunkissed skin that houses big brown eyes staring out across the variety of controls on the monitor. Bedhead razzled hair is akin to a dog that’s just been freshly washed and blow-dried, in the sense that it just puffs out. He looks young, but his eyes are heavy from sleepless nights.

Swinging his leg down, The Doctor secures a couple of more switches before the TARDIS begins trying to rock herself to a stop, as if the brakes are being pumped aggressively. I need to slow down, she indicates by the way she rocks back and forth. Sparks pop out at the pilot, who covers his arm and cringes slightly. “Okay! Okay!! One piece, I understand—!” 

When he moves to swing the landing lever down, The Doctor purses his lips together as the landing sequence begins in kind. Standing up straight and backing away from the console, The Doctor wipes his hands together and stands triumphantly near the monitor. “Good girl~” He purrs at the console, before giving it a loving pat. This console room is grungy. It’s made of mechanical parts, with aged walls and house roundels that are of a more hexagon variety. Wire and tube rigging hangs from the ceiling and a large glowing blue column houses the ship’s central column. 

Reaching for his green cargo jacket which rests on a nearby pillar, The Doctor slides it on along with a brown leather messenger bag. Re-adjusting fingerless wool gloves, he claps them together before rubbing at his eyes sleepily.

“1920! The Majestic Hotel!” He claps his hands together, moving to the console to make some final landing preparations, “The City’s beautiful! The crowds are lovely! The music is festive— What’s not to love?” He talks aloud before buttoning his jacket up. He’s been talking to himself a lot, recently. The Console room’s hum is the only thing that keeps him company. When he goes silent, and that quiet hum returns, he begins to absent-mindedly click at switches and his brows furrow in quiet realization over the fact that he’s just talking aloud now. A deep inhale causes him to puff out his cheeks again before he moves toward the police box doors that lead outside.

Distant planes and gunfire echo out in the distance as The Doctor steps out of a wooden Police Box. Listening to it click behind him, he huffs out a quiet grumble— which is uncharacteristic of his usually overexcited nature. “This is why we don’t pump the brakes too early.” The Doctor mumbles before patting the wooden police box softly and adjusting the straps of his messenger bag. Taking a few steps away from the TARDIS, The Doctor rests his hands in the pocket of his jacket and just starts walking down the block.

“Paris… 1944… Liberation of Paris.” He mumbles, reaching into his inner pocket to pull out a small brass device with a black leather grip and a white quartz handle at the bottom. Pointing the device around and beginning to scan, The Doctor flicks his Sonic Screwdriver into an extended mode so that he can try and take a reading off of the scans. Collapsing the screwdriver, he talks aloud yet again. “Some kind of temporal energy… pulling in whatever it can? Chrono-spatial radiation is everywhere. Stinks!” The Doctor starts waving at the air before returning the screwdriver to his particle.

“This doesn’t make sense… Something’s pulled me off course. Me, of all people. Which is a lot easier said than done, frankly.” The Doctor lets his train of thought run wild for a long moment, but his brows furrowed together as an overwhelming sense of deja vu begins to plague him. That causes him to push his tongue in his cheek, eyes narrowing in confusion toward that feeling. Deja vu was never usually good.

“Du da drüben. Was machst du hier draußen?”

The Doctor turned toward a voice, seeing the barrel of a gun pointed in his direction. Uh Oh! Raising his hands, The Doctor suddenly rewinds back, “Wait— What did you say?” He narrowed his gaze. Usually, The TARDIS translates for him… could some kind of temporal anomaly be interfering with that?

“Bist Du Engländer? Was machst du in Paris? Es ist ein Kampf im Gange.” The Soldier speaks up again, not keen on being ignored— but he also barely understands what’s being said, due to the language barrier… which continues to baffle The Doctor.

“Right… You’re… actually speaking proper German. Like… real German.” “Okay, komm mit mir.”

He understood enough to know the soldier was asking him to come with him, and he really didn’t have the strength to put up with German Soldiers right now. Huffing out quietly, The Doctor suddenly looks past the soldier, pointing behind him and shouting. “Whoa!! Is that the commanding officer of your platoon!? With the Fuhrer?” The Doctor asks, and the German soldier quickly snaps back around— after which, The Doctor takes off in a mad dash.

Turning to find that his prisoner has escaped, the Soldier blows a whistle, signaling anyone nearby that there’s a fugitive on the run.

The more they navigated through the catacombs, the more she was beginning to get unnerved by the whole thing. Constantly were the skulls on the walls seemingly staring at her, to the point where it felt like she was being watched. Grimacing, the Time Agent tasted at the stale air, which it didn’t make her worries any better, to be honest. She looked toward her compatriot: The Doctor, whose ruby eyes scanned the dark in its entirety. He was looking for any sort of crevice or crack that he could. 

“The Empire of The Dead.” She spoke suddenly, causing The Doctor to look toward her. “Hm?” “The more we walk through, the more I wonder… why did they leave it open…?”

The Doctor blinked, moving to look toward the walls of skulls before shrugging lightly. They were pretty far from the tour group now, but he had a small oil lamp that he had been given by the tour guide after arriving toward the darker parts of the catacombs, which he held above his head. Eventually, The Doctor’s own eyes found the walls of skulls, and he felt the eyes staring into his. So many dead. She noticed that his hand seemed to lightly scratch at his thigh. Was she supposed to hold it?

She squinted subtly, tentatively, and very quietly beginning to reach for it—

“Excuse me, Madam.” A croaky voice cut through the silence. The tour guide.

Despite the fact that he’d snuck up on them, both The Doctor and The Tour Guide flinched at the scream that she let out, but the Madam quickly pressed her hand against her mouth and squeaked out a, “My apologies—” but she looked toward The Doctor while the Tour Guide issued out his apologies, noting how his hand was back in his pocket. 

The Tour guide cleared his throat, “There are… many reasons why the quarries were constructed, Madam. I have watched it’s… transformation from the subterranean caverns of my childhood…” The Tour guide trailed off for a moment, the thought of his life before briefly flashing across his elder features. “...Into this… beautiful… sight. These tunnels were so fragile; Houses would collapse, lives would be lost.” The tour guide wistfully trailed off, exhaling again.

“Even my own Father…” “I’m sorry.” The Doctor spoke, and she detected genuine empathy in his voice. “I-It… was many years ago… and I have since grown weary with age over it.”

The Doctor laughed, and The Agent could understand what exactly it was that made him laugh. He had been blessed with a younger body, yes, but he was still very old. She’d watched him speak back, “Believe it or not, I actually get it.” The Doctor spoke, before raising an eyebrow.

“Mr…?” “Monsieur Joseph Delon…” “I’m The Doctor.” He was a hand shaker, this one. “Eh, er— Doctor—?” “Just.” He cut him off, “The Doctor.”

Delon moved to stand away from The Agent, and The Doctor stood next to him. Clearly, he was very engaged by the experiences of others around him, and what they brought to the table because of it. He was interested and intrigued by everything, even if he presented himself as rude to others. She thinks he’s more respectful to the elderly, perhaps? Like souls find like souls, she supposed.

“When it grew too dangerous, Monsieur Doctor—” He was doing that on purpose? To sound more romantical, but The Doctor didn’t seem to notice, nor care. “—The bodies of six million Parisians were brought down here to act as the foundations for our civilization.” Joseph spoke, his eyes going distant for a moment. “The dead… protecting the living,” Delon said, before returning his gaze toward the older gentleman. 

“It is beautiful, is it not?” The Doctor found some kind of perspective to lean on. “It has a certain charm to it, Joseph.”

Delon smiles softly, before turning toward the both of them. “Now, Monsieur & Madame— If you’ll follow me, we can return to the tour group…” Joseph turned, beginning to walk further and further away until the darkness of the catacombs just barely allowed for his light to shine through. The Agent rejoined The Doctor’s side as he followed, absentmindedly thinking about everything— or at least steering his train of thought back to what he was thinking about. 

“It is wrong of me to think that it is still somewhat unsettling?” She asked. “Not at all. It’s a refined perspective.”

Eventually, though, something stuck out to him. 

“Look— There.” He pointed, “Is that a light?” “Where—?” She paused, “I see it… in the base of a skull?”

They approached a nearby wall of the catacombs, The Doctor spotted a red light that softly blinked beneath the skull. In its mouth. He eventually handed The Agent the lamp. Now that Joseph was out of sight, The Doctor wasn’t afraid to desecrate the remains of a dead Parisian by tearing open its jaw and click the button. The Agent winced in response. However, before she could even answer, she saw the fruits of his impulsiveness manifest as a secret passageway opening up within the wall. 

“Secret door. Now things are getting interesting.” He mused before the agent handed him back the oil lantern. “I do enjoy secret doors, now we’re getting somewhere… that lock isn’t just from a different time, it’s from a whole other planet.” The Doctor subtly grinded his teeth together, before The Agent spoke up. 

“We’ve only known each other for such a short time, and already we’re exposing secret doors in The Catacombs of Paris.” She couldn’t deny it, this mission was starting to get interesting… and it was fun, too. The Doctor looked toward her for a moment, inhaling deeply. It seemed like he wasn’t going to be able to get rid of her— not that he was actively trying, that is.

“I don’t think I caught your name.” “Renee,” She began, “Renee Lisette.”

He was winded. Good and properly winded! Entering through a door with a bell, that mass of energy immediately slapped his palms against the counter. The Desk attendant saw The Doctor, a small pluckish man who looked like he was ready to explore the catacombs, and yet here he was covered in sweat and panting slightly. She opened her mouth, but he spoke quickly, not excitedly… but just… fast.

“Good morning!” “How can I… help you?” Her eyes scanned him up and down real quickly. A postman? “Er, yeah… I was wondering if you’d let me use your underground base.” 

She went pale suddenly, but he just kept speaking as if the next few statements that were about to come out of his mouth were something you’d hear from just anyone who’d come through the toll house doors, “For two reasons— one: Because I’m being chased by the Gestapo and I’m pretty sure they’re about to stick dogs on me—” He winced, “Two, you’ve got weird time anomaly stuff going on right beneath you and I’ve got a mighty need to figure out what it is. Insatiable, you might say.” He rocked back and forth before standing back on his feet. 

“Please leave, Monsieur.” She spoke firmly, “I do not know what you are talking about.”

He waved her hand away as if she was just simply misremembering details of some casual meeting in the park. “Oooh~!! Sure ya do! This is the old toll house beneath the Barrière d'Enfer! Underneath it is a secret resistance bunker led by old Colonel Henri Rol-Tanguy.” He pointed toward the door, “The same colonel Henri Rol-Tanguy leading the liberation of Paris… which I’m actively stuck in the middle of—” the desk attendant watched him get distracted.

“And that is Mickey Rooney with Josephine Baker!! Oh hello!!— Big fan by the way!!” He shouted before trying to get himself back on track, looking toward the attendant. Again he slammed his palms against the table, and it was his energy that made her jump this time. He began scrounging through his pockets until he was able to produce a leatherbound wallet. To him, he saw only a blank piece of paper— psychic paper. He handed it to her. “Look…” He admitted as if his pride had been wounded, “I’m with British Intelligence… Here's my ID.” 

“Commander… fleming?” 

The Doctor winced suddenly. He had to roll with it. He had to. He nodded softly, “Yep… Yea! That’s me. Apparently.” He mumbled before taking the psychic paper back, sliding it into his pocket, leaning on the desk and just… scratching the back of his head. All in about a span of four seconds. He was anxious to get going. Or was it eager? The Desk attendant reached under the table, hitting a small buzzer that opened a compartment beneath the floor.

“Well then, welcome to Paris.”

As he crossed the desk, he moved to lean in and pat her hand. “Thank you. You’re literally a life saver.” He thanked, in such a genuine manner that her cheeks dusted a light pink for but a singular moment before she watched him depart down into the underground headquarters. When the door shut behind him, she blinked softly.

“...Why are they always English?”

The more they began to ease down the corridors, the more unsettled Renee was. They were in a metallic structure now, and The Doctor seemed keen on continuing to explore it. She, on the other hand, was starting to feel her heart hammer in her chest. Things were eerie and she was not enjoying it. It was more dark in the corridors than it was in the actual catacombs. It seemed like they were swallowed up by the darkness… and it seemed like the oil lantern was starting to run out of fuel. 

“Doctor.” She pointed out, “The lantern…” She looked toward him, “I cannot see a thing down here! Where are we even?! What is this place?” She was on the verge of showing off some type of anxiety, simply because of how dark it was and how quickly the light was beginning to fade. The Doctor reached into his coat pocket, handing her the oil lantern while he withdrew a small cylindrical device. Silver, with a black endcap and a red light, he pressed the button on the slider and extended it forward.

“Nothing I can do about the oil in the lamp… but I can make the flame a bit brighter, and last a bit longer.” He mumbled, the soft whirring of his Sonic Screwdriver accompanied the steadily growing flame, which made more and more of the corridor become clearer. Pipes & grates. Yep… this was definitely some kind of futuristic corridor. Lisette was wondering just exactly how it got here before her skin went pale. Shadows on the wall began to cause her to tremble, and the more and more defined they got by the growth of the flame caused her heart to pound deeper and deeper.

“Doctor…” She mumbled it out, but he seemed to already notice. She saw how he grit his teeth in frustration over how stupid he was. He was kicking himself for not noticing patterns or details as if they’d actually one-upped him this time. The figures on the wall were metallic in nature, standing tall. Their eyes were a voiceless and empty black, and there were all sorts of tubing on them… but both Renee and The Doctor knew exactly what these were… and the way he hissed it out with such contempt.

“Cybermen.”

Renee kept herself closer to him. She dropped the pretenses immediately. She recognized these models, as for a vast majority of time these were the same CyberNeomorphs in charge of the Cyber Empire that stretched out across the vast cosmos, with their home planet of Mondas having been destroyed— these cybermen were based on Telos. They were a force to be reckoned with in the twenty-fifth century. She saw how decrepit and weary these ones looked. They weren’t rusted, but they were aged. She watched The Doctor knock against the chest of one.

“Are they dead?” Renee asked, watching The Doctor peek in closer to a few of them before backing away and shaking his head, “No, they’re dormant.” He hissed it out, almost in a sort of disappointment. Just because they were asleep, didn’t mean they weren’t some type of threat. Renee leaned in, “I thought the Cybermen couldn’t time travel? How did they get here? I mean— these versions— I don’t understand.” She looked for an explanation from The Timelord, as she knew the ball was in his court, now.

“Cybermen are capable of a very primitive form of time travel. It’s messy, unreliable, so they tend to try and find a linear route to things.” The Doctor and Renee, despite the revelation, continued to march through the corridors of the cyber storage depot. “Either this ship crashed… or…” He stopped, dead in his tracks. They’d gotten him, they’d one upped him entirely. “No, that doesn’t make sense though. This place is intact. There’s no damage. Not a single shred— this place was constructed in the catacombs.” 

“But how?!” She shouted in a hushed tone, The Doctor shrugging. “Renee, if I knew—I wouldn’t have admitted that I didn’t know.”

Although, eventually, they reached a specific Cyberman that The Doctor wanted to stop and gawk at. Although he kept his features neutral and retained, he talked aloud about his curiosity. “This one’s different. The same type of model, but… it’s all black.” He noted, “Like a Cyber-Scout, but… more advanced— I think it’s a Cyber-Leader. Something isn’t right here.” 

Suddenly, though, the two jumped back as the Cyber-leader disconnected himself from the wall. Pipes cracked off as if it had been lying in wait. Gas hissed, and Renee screamed. None of the other Cybermen seemed to come to life, not yet anyway. The Doctor expected that they would, sooner or later. He backed away. Instinctively, he shielded Renee— but the lamp fell and cracked. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, as it seemed as if the ship was activating, or at least auxiliary lighting was. The room filled with a blearing red as the Cyberman croaked out in a deep and mechanical computerized voice.

“Doctor. We have been expecting you.” “Have you now?” He snapped back, “That’s nice.” “We have been expecting you for some time.”

The Doctor pushed Renee along, “Run!! Quick!!” He pushed her down the corridor, just trying to get them to run in any direction. Just as The Doctor predicted to himself, other Cybermen were activating and there wasn’t much of anywhere left to run. They’d have to get back into the catacombs. It was oddly suspicious how only The Cyberleader seemed to be following him, but he let that observation sit in the back of his mind while he focused on trying to get back to the tour group. The Cyberman is hot on the heels of him and the agent.

Once they made it back, The Doctor and Renee immediately started shouting at the tour group. “Everyone out! Run for your lives!! Get out of here!!” They shouted, as the group began to panic and Delon stepped forward. “What is going on!?” He stepped forward— the tour group not quite moving, and that hesitance allowed the Cyberman to catch up.

Swinging his way into the tour group, with a massive fist, The Cyberleader SMACKED one of the tourists out of his way. Such a violent attack sent the man crashing against the wall, his wife screaming as one little hit from the tree trunk-like arm of The Cyberleader had gore and blood spurting from his head, and Joseph seemed to realize what it was that was going on. 

“Joseph!” The Doctor grabbed his attention, “It’s after me. I need a place to lure it away!” and The Doctor really had to wrestle the man’s attention away from The Cyberleader, “T-There’s a vault… deep in the catacombs… that way. It protected the miners from cave-ins and explosions—” And that was enough for The Doctor, who took off with Renee in hot pursuit. The Cyberleader, as predicted, immediately followed… allowing for Delon to get the group out in an organized manner. 

You know, they really do keep these catacombs in shape, don’t they? He blinks a bit as he aims a flashlight at the skulls on the wall, “Spooky.” He comments and is even spookier when you’re the only one down here. Last time he was here…

He stops dead in his tracks, his lips pursing. “Mm… That’s weird.” He scratches at the back of his head. He remembers being here, but it’s weird how all the details are so oddly fuzzy to him. Why does he remember being down here? Why does he remember being with a tour group when he knows he’s never been down in the catacombs before? Well— He’s of course visited the catacombs but never… for a crisis. 

So why is it that he remembers something happening down here? Again, he scratches the back of his head before seemingly retracing steps he didn’t remember taking. Biting his lip, he suddenly stopped and aimed his flashlight toward the wall again. “Is it just me, or are the walls moving?” He stopped, aiming the flashlight behind him and wincing softly. You’re not losing your cool, are you Doctor? He licks at his lips softly in contemplation, before looking forward and thinking heavily.

“Deja Vu…” He pointed out, “One time is nothing to squawk about but… two times? On the same day?” He tapped the flashlight into his palm, “Now that is weird.” He squints, starting to feel things coming back to him. “Unless… Well…” He pressed a hand toward his forehead and started massaging it in a contemplative manner. “You know what this is, Doctor… and yet you also know that it’s impossible in the same vein.” He caresses the flashlight softly, all sorts of ticks coming to light today.

He suddenly shouts, “OH!!!” He snaps his fingers, “We were walking around the catacombs, there was… this flashing red button…” He bit his knuckle, really trying to claw the memories out like he was digging at buried treasure. He was pacing now, his voice bouncing off of the walls of the catacombs. “And… and… the woman!!” He snapped his fingers. 

“But I was on my own, wasn’t I? So who was I with…?? Oh… It started an R… Rachel? Rosaria? Randy?? Randall???” He went on and on and on until it came to him like a smack to the face, “RENEE!!!!!” He snapped his fingers again as if the memories had been unlocked fully. Once the picture came back to him, his face went pale. “And there was a heckin’ ton of Cybermen, too.” He grits his teeth before suddenly looking down the abyss of the cavern.

“And The Vault.”

It’s still too dark to really make anything out, but at least he knows they must’ve reached the vault based on how his hands find the steely wheel to open it up. “C’mon! Now! Quickly.” He pushed Renee into the vault, sealing it behind them. With The Sonic Screwdriver, he fused the mechanisms so that it locked in. Biting his lip, he backed away as he heard the steps of the Cyberleader growing closer and closer and closer… until he heard a slam against the door. 

“Don’t even try it! Your power cells are too drained and I’ve fused the controls. You’re not getting in here, tough guy.” He fired back, and The Cyberleader remained quiet, only to eventually speak again in an almost unworried voice as if The Leader had nothing to fear anymore. “You have failed, Doctor, but this is the beginning.” 

“What’re you talking about?” He immediately retorted. “Look around you.”

Immediately, flood lights within the vault began to activate. The Doctor immediately began to realize what was going on. A trap. He was lured into a trap. This isn’t a vault— “No!” He snapped his head back, Renee standing at his side, “What is it?!” She queried, anxiously. This was getting dicey, especially if it had The Doctor on his toes.

“This is a stasis cage!” “In forty-five seconds, you will be frozen in time. You will survive. The Humanoid will not.”

Immediately, The Doctor attempted to try working on the door, but he’d already fused the controls. Dammit! The Cybermen were on their A-Game this time. Luring him into a trap, lying in wait. They had everything mapped out. Everything! To the last detail. The whirring of the Sonic Screwdriver echoed out as the Cyberleader began to stomp away. “Dammit!!” He was about to apologize before he heard some clicking behind him. Turning, he saw Renee fumbling with a device on her wrist.

“What’re you doing?” “Vortex manipulator. He said you’d be fine. I need to get back to HQ.” “What about me?!” The Doctor snapped back.

Renee shrugged, “Sorry Monsieur, You’re on your own… but I know what’s going on, and I’ll try to get to the bottom of it…” She looked toward him, “Especially now that I know what the cause of the anomaly is.” She nodded toward him, and he made a face as if he were offended by the accusation.

“Me?” “Seems that way…”

She didn’t even give out a goodbye before she vanished into a poof of light and smoke. The Doctor dove to try and cling onto her, but immediately tasted cold steel and his head snapped up when he heard the activating of the stasis cage. Scurrying to his feet, he exhaled heavily. “Forty-five seconds until I’m frozen…” His eyes scanned for anything in the room that he could try and use to escape. Anything at all.

“It’d help to know how long I—”

“The Doctor is frozen in time… he has been placed in stasis.” The Cyberleader spoke out. “And… The Woman?” “She has expired.”

…

“I see… So I suppose my work here is done?” Joseph Delon spoke, moving to look up at the cyberleader. He was sitting on the stairs leading out of the Catacombs, the silhouette of the Cyberman meshing beautifully within the darkness of the catacombs. 

“Confirmed… but we will preserve you, Joseph Delon… You will become like us.” “...Thank you….” To escape the bonds of age.

That in itself is a gift.

Standing at the entrance to the vault, The Doctor was able to get a better look at it. Resistance members had set up lights within the catacombs, as they were using it as storage for munitions and other supplies they’d been hiding from the Gestapo during the liberation. The controls were fused from inside, and there seemed to be a low-level perception filter that masked the vault from outside eyes. A low-level perception filter is only applicable to humans.

“They wanted me to find you.” The Doctor mused, before reaching into his jacket to pull out his Sonic Screwdriver, “Eeeek~! I love opening my presents before Christmas.” The rascal mused aloud before reaching for a nearby panel on the vault, tearing it open, and finding two wires to twist together, which he provided power to with The Sonic Screwdriver. 

That’s when the vault door began to hiss open. An almost sort of dry ice leaked out from the doorway as The Doctor backed up. Brushing brown locks behind his ear, he blinked steadily as he watched a figure in the vault begin to unfreeze. Frozen in time, put into stasis. Like a statue, now only cracking. His eyes widened when he heard a familiar voice, whose eyes immediately locked onto him.

“—Have…?” A statement turned into a question as ruby eyes locked with hazel, and a raven-haired head tilted in confusion toward what exactly it was that was happening.

“Uh oh.” Wool glove hands rubbed at the back of his head, blinking in almost, “Uh oh… ohh this is weird. Oh, this is super weird…” He gave his previous incarnation a quick cursory glance. Tall, dark, broody, lots of black, weird red eyes— “Yep… This is… not good.”

Never one to shy away from the obvious conclusion, the broody one blinked for a moment and watched as the young man in front of him started to piece obvious conclusions together in a similar manner. 

“Are you…?”  “Yeah…”

The Broody One stepped out from the stasis chamber immediately, to which the young fluff ball in front of him immediately quirked out a question he obviously wouldn’t know the answer to— “How long you have been in there?” To which the older Doctor exhaled.

“The Cybermen didn’t exactly give me a clock. What year is it?” “1944.” Without missing a beat. “Blast.” He grumbled, “Hundred and thirty-five years, give or take.” “Ooh! You’ve never looked better!”

“Thank you?” He wasn’t sure how to interpret that one. His future incarnation seemed to be a bit boisterous in his charisma, which was something he didn’t really want to think about. He scanned him up and down for a brief moment. High-top sneakers, black jeans, a green cargo jacket underneath a black T-shirt…. Accompanied by fingerless wool gloves and a brown leather messenger bag. He squinted.  If not for the green jacket and the messenger bag, he would’ve thought that maybe he was being copied.

The face was a bit on the dumb side. He looked goofy, that much was for sure. Someone ought to cut his hair, too. He hoped this one wouldn’t ruin his pale complexion with those awful freckles. Regardless though, the (unknowingly) previous incarnation exhaled heavily.

“Stasis cage. Takes the wind out of your lungs.” “Well, I imagine being frozen for a century definitely didn’t help, either.” “No, no it did not.” Sassy too. He hates it when this happens. “What’re you doing here?”

The New Doctor pointed behind him, without looking, and responded promptly and very… well it was hard to describe. He was just kind of all over the place. “Ah! Well, I was on my way to the Majestic Hotel, 1920, you know the one.” He nodded before smacking his hands together— causing The Old Doctor to recoil a bit, cocking an eyebrow.

“BAM! Suddenly I’m in 1944. Did a quick scan and picked up some sort of—” “Time Anomaly.” They spoke in sync. That made the fluffball chuckle.

“Heheheh! Yeah!” He then started recounting his day to broody. “Then I got chased by the Gestapo!” He pointed down at the ground, “Ended up in the catacombs—”

“How did you know to come to the catacombs?” He interjected. “Deja Vu! Although I can’t remember this, so I think our luck’s run out.” “Let’s not throw all of our ducks away just yet, it might come back around.”

He immediately gave the other a point, “How about you? I don’t remember being in Paris? Or heading to Paris? Nowhere in the last couple of decades at least.” He was still holding the torch in his hand, so he clicked it off and slid it into his bag. The two clearly wanted to get back on the move, and the fluffball was more than willing to hazard a guess that Broody was ready to leave the catacombs after one hundred and thirty-five years.

“1770, to see Mozart, actually. Versaille. Got knocked off course and knocked about 21.7 Kilometers of course.” He was exact, whereas the fluffball probably would’ve said something akin to a hop and a skip, or something like that. He looked young, so Broody assumed he’d be using a type of modern-age lingo. “Traced it to the catacombs by following a time agent—”

“Rachel!” He shouted as if he was remembering an old friend. “Renee.” “Oops.” Immediate embarrassment. “Where is she?”

Broody rolled his eyes, hands in his pockets as he marched down the catacombs. The lights helped him navigate a lot easier, so he just kept his eyes forward and blushed a bit when he was called out. “She… was a Time Agent. She slipped away with a vortex manipulator.”

“Ahhh~ You and your women~” The Fluffball teased. “Oh don’t start.” The Geezer snapped back. “Was she slightly more dominant than you? Maybe a catsuit along the way?” “If you must know… she was French.”

A feigned gasp of shock and surprise, “Well that just makes all the difference.” He couldn’t help but chuckle after his little tease, especially when The Geezer picked up the pace, requiring him to speed up into a power walk as they climbed up the steps of the catacombs. As they made their way up, The Geezer exhaled.

“There were about a dozen dormant cybermen when I was down there last.” He informed his younger counterpart. He’d resign to being identified as the old one for the sake of not remembering being that one, but he’d refuse to call the young adult next to him “older” or “newer”. So he referred to him as simply younger in his mind. “They would have invaded while I was down there, changed everything for the worse.”

“I…” The Younger One squinted, “Don’t think you need to worry about that.” “What? Why?”

“Well, I’ve just been up there. It’s Paris… 1944! Everything’s fine, I was running from The Nazi’s like, five minutes ago.” He reassured his older self before moving up toward the exit to the Underground Base. They ignored how eerily quiet it was in favor of talking among themselves. “We might even find your TARDIS right where ya parked it!” And he reached for the door to the tollhouse, pushing it open.

“See?”

Mechanical machines not unlike Tripods from a certain other race of invaders marched around across smogged out skies. The Tripods were hoisting Humans up into a container unit, harvesting them in a portable conversion unit that would immediately eject pods out onto the ground that released more advanced model cybermen, who roamed the earth.

There was no resistance, and if there was, it was immediately crushed by The Cybermen. Sirens and the clanging of metal were the new ambiance of Earth, as the streets were ravished and the buildings destroyed. It was horrific. 

“Okay.” The Youngin’ immediately swallowed his pride and resigned himself to admitting this was bad. “This is not good. This is very bad.” He blinked as they hid behind the wall of the tollhouse, peering through the shattered windows of the building they’d emerged from. “This is very very bad. If you could’ve asked me what the worst possible thing to see was—”

“I get it—” The Older One immediately interjected to try and get him to stop talking. “It would be this.”

"Do you come with an off button by chance?"

[blue-eyed-bloodstains]

01. where would you love to go to college? what kind of college is it? I’ve ultimately wanted to go to Full Sail University since my senior year (2010) and I even did the research and had a rep from there who came to NJ to present at our high school about it come to my house for an interview about it...even had roommates set up, a scholarship of $20k, the works. but it all fell apart and I couldn’t go, both by not having the means at the time due to moving around from family drama and there was no way to get there or afford to live off campus since they didn’t have dorms on campus. it’s a media school in the top 5 in the US and I wanted to pursue being a music producer if I went...

I also before that guy came senior year, always wanted to go to NYU for journalism/songwriting. I went to my local community college for Journalism and Public Speaking In Media for a bachelors, using my scholarship but I only completed one semester and had to move...so I never completed college and I lost the majority of that scholarship cause it expired...big regrets, I’d give anything to get a degree preferably online... 02. is there anywhere you’d love to go, but you wouldn’t go due to things there (people, natural disasters, etc.)? isn’t that basically the entire fuckin world at this point..? anywhere you go, there’s shit going down so it would be scary to go to any of the places I’ve always wanted to travel to and experience 03. do you know anyone who has/had swine? who? ...okay, meaning like owned pigs or had the swine flu? lol no not personally but there’s a lot of farmland here with many different animals so I’m sure someone has a bunch of hogs and piggies fenced in :P 04. do you like polaroid photography? yeah, would love to learn how to take amazing photos like that

05. did you ever watch that old nick show, ginger? As Told By Ginger! hell yeah, loved it! 06. is there a friend of yours who curses nonstop? who would that be? pssh myself more than anyone, literally barely can make a simple sentence about the most random small talk without cursing to some degree XD 07. don’t you hate when you put lyrics as a status and everyone comments it asking what it means / why it’s your status? I hate that they can’t relate to them or understand that it’s me crying out pretty much...I post lyrics or sayings/phrases all the time relating to my mental illnesses, emotions, physical illnesses...and I’m still alone with it all. 08. what internet browser do you use? Chrome or Firefox 09. what do you usually do to let your feelings out? listen to music, cry, DRINK TILL I BLACK OUT AND AM NUMB...

10. what was the last thing you uploaded / plugged into the computer? oh god no idea, I fucked up my small USB flash drive so it can’t recognize it when I plug it in...and my cd tray, the cover where you press the button to have it pop out snapped off so now I don’t know how to get it to pop out so I can play movies..and yes, both were from me black out drunk and the laptop sliding off me to the floor. 11. what is your last class of the day? I’m not in school 12. who do you think has your back more: your girl friends or your guy friends? guy friends for sure, I’ve always tended to be closer with guys than girls. being a hardcore tomboy all my life helps lol 13. do you think boys notice things more than girls? or vice versa? it’s hard to say cause everyone’s different, so I hate putting them into a statistic or stereotype. I’d say it’s pretty even for both 14. are you participating in project 365 (you take a picture of you/something everyday of the year and post it)? I’d love to try but not enough things I can post...I’m constantly home with nowhere to go and it’s very hard to be out and about for more than a short time given physical illness weakening me for years so no 15. do you have a flickr? if so, post the link. oh DEAR FUCKING GOD I completely forgot about Flickr! lol no I don’t and never did 16. am i the only one who would go to the ends of the earth to see their favorite band perform? I don’t know you so I mean, I can’t say for sure..but I’ve got several bands and comedians in mind that I would personally 17. do you think it’s dumb when a band smashes their instruments, or do you find it totally radical? meh I don’t really care

18. have you ever made a gif? if not, do you think it’d be interesting to make one? yeah I’ve always been interested in how to do it and I’d go insane making so many once I knew how to lol 19. are you excited for the beginning of american idol? no I haven’t watched for years..last one I saw win was around Jordin Sparks/Adam Lambert/David Cook seasons...I love watching the terrible auditions on youtube though lol 20. do you feel like you need some inspiration, or are you totally inspired right now? I definitely need inspiration... 21. when you feel uninspired, do you feel like you need to go somewhere to become inspired? definitely but rarely get the chance to 22. do you like driving games, or not so much? yeah 23. do you have trouble coming up with good surveys questions? I’ve never made em, I love taking good ones I find

[volturiwolf]

Soulmates - A Demetri Volturi x Reader Imagine

A/N: This is the first imagine I finished and uploaded, and it came quite unexpectedly while talking with @volturidoll13 who suggested a Demetri Volturi one-shot where the reader would follow Bella and Alice to Italy and would accidentally say “wish he’d choke ME” out loud (see my post for reference). So, here it is. Also, I’m sorry if something doesn’t make sense. English is not my first langage. Enjoy :)

No of Words: 5749

Mentions of: Swear Language, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Dying/Death, Killings, Self-doubt, Self-consciousness, Kinky Choking, Sexual Arousal

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I think I had enough of Bella. No, I know I've had enough of her. She may be my best friend, the one who truly understood me the moment I stepped foot in Forks High School, beginning of last year, but this was just too much.

I have spent countless hours trying to support her when Edward Cullen left her, 5 months ago. I was there to be her emotional support, and even spent time with Jacob Black, an old friend of Bella's, who stayed at the Quileute reservation.

Jacob seemed kind of polite, although his attempts to flirt with Bella whenever he could were cringy, to say the least. But I supported her then too, trying to be sort of the third wheel / the one who tried to show Jacob she wasn't really interested in him that way.

His friends, Embry and Quil, were as nice and polite as they were beautiful. When Embry abandoned Jacob and Quil, Bella and I were there to support him. When Jacob abandoned Bella, I was there to support her. 

Even when Bella was sad, angry and desperate to know what happened to Jacob, I was there to calm her down. I was there when she went to see him and he turned her away. I was there when she slapped Paul in the face. I was there when he turned into a huge wolf, and I couldn't help but scream.

Jacob explained everything about the wolves to both Bella and I. He told us how it's part of their DNA; how they are meant to protect the tribe from dangerous outsiders; how the metamorphosis from human to wolf can be somehow controlled over time, with practice and persistence. THAT I could understand.

What I couldn't understand was how vampires existed in this world! It wasn't Bella the one to reveal that secret to me, rather Alice, Edward's sister. Apparently, she saw Bella dying, the day she supposedly went cliff-diving, which I told her not to, having a severe fear of heights myself.

Bella took the risk, and if it weren't for Jacob, she would most likely be dead by now. That's what Alice said she "saw" - she explained to my incapable self that, as a vampire, she had a gift, the gift of predicting the future, based on others' decisions. 

All this information was overwhelming me. I could swallow the harsh reality of wolves existing, but vampires, too? It seemed too much for me in such a short period of time.

Alice quickly explained some basics to me, like the fact that the Cullens were vegetarians, but the majority of their kind fed on human blood, as well as the fact that they even had a sort-of-government of vampires, residing in Italy, the Volturi.

She then turned to Bella to scold her about her recklessness and how she was prone to "life-threatening idiocy". I couldn't agree more with the short brunette right now. Bella has been nothing but reckless the last few weeks, and she was putting her life in danger for no reason.

They were talking about Edward or whatever, but I wasn't paying any particular attention until Jacob showed up. I decided to give them some space to talk, and Alice followed behind me, stepping out of the house.

Her face was a mix of disgust and worry, not paying any particular attention to me, probably trying to hear Bella and Jacob's conversation from the kitchen. After a minute or two, I heard her taking a sharp breath, her eyes fixating on nothing in particular; they were just staring ahead of her.

She took a sharp breath, as she regained consciousness, stepping quickly into the house. She walked in quite wide and quick strides, considering her miniature figure, and, though taller than her, I had some trouble following behind her.

She ran directly to the kitchen. "Bella. Bella, it's Edward. He thinks you're dead. Rosalie told him why I came here."

They both looked at Jacob; Bella practically screaming to his face, accusing him of not giving her the telephone to speak with Edward herself.

"Bella, he's going to the Volturi. He wants to die, too." The small brunette continued.

Within a minute, Bella made her decision: she was going to Italy to save her ex-lover. She promised us that she would just make sure he lived, and then, she would go back to her "boring" life.

Alice ran outside, starting her car immediately, as Bella was followed closely by Jacob, who tried to convince her not to go, pleading with her, all in vain. Bella was as stubborn as she could get, and nobody could change her mind. 

I turned to Jacob, without really thinking about my next words. "Don't worry. I'll go with her. I'll make sure she's back safe, okay?"

All Jacob could do is nod at me, though his face was full of concern, frustration, and he was clearly distraught by Bella's decision to leave him and save Edward. As if all this time she, Jacob and, sometimes, I spent time together meant nothing to her.

I jumped in the back seat of the car, not waiting for either Bella's, or Alice's approval. I knew it would be a huge risk for me to go to the vampires' lair, but I also knew that Bella could use all the emotional support she could get. 

As much as I hated Edward for what he did and said to her, I knew that he was everything to her, like her own little haven. Her own little oasis, which I guess felt more like a tundra, compared to Jacob's flaming hot desert. I rolled my eyes at my embarrassing thoughts, but I assumed that's how she thought of them.

The drive to the airport felt like a ton of weight crushing my shoulders. I had no place to follow them to Italy, as it was truly none of my business. But I promised Jacob, and though Bella could make me so frustrated with her lack of self-confidence and self-respect, I liked her company a lot, and I needed to make sure she was alive and safe.

In the couple of months that she came out of her apathetic state, we reconnected again, reminiscing about our unorthodox friendship, both of us being new to the town, shy and not particularly sociable.

However, Bella was the ideal friend to keep you grounded and connected with reality, which I, sometimes, had trouble with; my mind was running wild and free most of the time, while my mouth was staying shut. 

So, I was willing to go across the ocean for her, to an unknown place, in a castle full of bloodsucking vampires. I wasn't pleased, but I was willing. Willing to help her save her stupid ex-boyfriend, and hopefully not get killed in the process.

During the flights, Alice tried, more or less, to explain the dynamics of the vampire world; the Volturi, being this sort of government-slash-royalty of the vampire kind, were tasked with imposing their laws over the other vampires. Their most important law? Don't expose your existence to humans, unless you want to die. Well, there goes that! 

Alice had already talked to me about their kind; Bella knew through her association with both Edward and the rest of the Cullen family. The chances of any of us making out of there alive seemed slim to none. I was literally flying towards my death. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. 

I was trying to calm down my nerves, which did not work at all, when all I could think about were those Italian vampires. Alice told me that the vampire Kings, especially Aro, who seemed to be their leader, were interested in collecting talented vampires. 

So, it was pretty obvious that he would, most likely, get rid of Bella and myself, and would gladly keep Alice and Edward, who, as Alice told me, has the gift of reading people’s minds. So, we were actually doing that Aro guy a favor there; bring him the “talents” and get rid of the “intruders”, the humans. Great. Just, great.

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We were currently on our way to Volterra. Alice had stolen a yellow Porsche from the airport’s parking lot, which neither Bella, nor I opposed to, for now. It was a fast way to get to Volterra, plus I’ve never actually been in a Porsche, and I felt pretty amazing. Alice seemed like a skillful driver, and drove pretty fast, which I liked, especially if I was the one driving. Bella and Alice’s conversation interrupted my thoughts.

“What? What do you see?”

“They refused him.” That was good, right?

“So..?” Bella knew there was something else behind Alice’s vision.

“He’s gonna make a scene. Show himself to the humans.” Why the hell, Edward?!

“No! When?”

“He’s gonna wait until noon, when the sun’s at its highest.” Bella seemed more and more worried and anxious, and I heard her heavy breath, which seemed like she was starting to go on panic mode. I stroked her shoulders lightly, trying to calm her down. As much as she deserved to get worried, given the events that led us here, this was not the time to panic.

“There’s Volterra.” Alice pointed to her left, at a beautiful, picturesque town that looked as if it had jumped out of the Renaissance era. The scenery of Tuscany was beautiful, and it had always been part of my bucket list to travel across Tuscany in a small rental car. That was not how I pictured that trip, or how I pictured my last day on Earth.

Alice was running through the city’s narrow streets by now, never stopping to honk at people passing by, who moved left and right, trying to avoid the “crazy driver who decided it was a good idea to drive a sports car through such a city’s small, narrow, occupied streets”; at least, that’s how I saw it.

Alice did not back down, and continued driving skillfully through the city’s small arteries. It was odd though, the fact that everyone around us was wearing red capes, red clothes, everything was red. Bella questioned it out loud and Alice informed us that today was the celebration of Saint Marcus’ Day, the day that the Saint expelled all vampires from the town. The irony.

Bella was experiencing a full on panic attack, as we were only 5 minutes away from Edward’s shenanigans. Theoretically, everything was in order, until the moment we were stopped by the local police who refused to let us go any farther. Bella opened her door. She would go on foot, to find Edward before he exposed himself. Alice would park the car somewhere outside of the town’s walls, and we’d then go and find them.

I turned around my seat, to watch Bella running through the streets, to the plaza where the clock tower, which Edward was going to expose himself from, was located. Alice left the car outside of the walls, but still, close enough to have easy access. 

For me, it was quite easy to walk around now, as my skin was not sparkling like Alice’s was. Alice had to wrap herself around a coat, a long, thick scarf and gloves, and wear sunglasses to protect her identity even more. I was walking in the middle of the streets, watching around carefully, as good as my human eyes could see, trying to help Alice go unnoticed, as she pushed herself more towards the buildings’ walls, trying to avoid the sunlight. 

That went on for a while, until we were close enough to the clock tower, where Alice took my hand on hers and, with long strides, walked towards the main entrance, which was, thankfully, shaded enough for her to walk through. 

She must have heard the conversation inside the building, as the moment we stepped in - Alice breaking the lock that kept the door momentarily closed, she started talking to the others, who I mistook as being Bella and Edward. As another sign of my unluckiness in life, she was actually addressing two other vampires, a tall brunette and a shorter blond.

They both looked gorgeous, but they could probably kill me as easily as it was for me to blink. I instantly became stiff, and Alice must have felt it, but she kept on holding my hand, trying to play it cool in front of the others, while trying to get rid of her disguise with her free hand at the same time.

“Come on, guys. It’s a festival. You wouldn’t want to make a scene.” She tried to play it nice and cool, though I knew she was just as worried being here as the rest of us.

“We wouldn’t.” The brunette vampire responded, now looking at me, who, by now, I have lost all my confidence in coming to Italy to help Bella.

I caught the blond vampire looking me up and down my body, and felt rather self-conscious. I didn’t have the best relationship with my own body and my own self; I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror, most of the time. So, I made up for what I lacked in self-confidence with sarcasm, bad humor, honesty and snarky remarks. I would be really going off of him right now, if I wasn’t shaking.

Though beautiful, the blond vampire also scared me, just as much as his brunette partner. I stared back at him, looking at his confident stance, one hand behind his back, and a smirk across his face. 

When my (Y/E/C) eyes met with his red ones, I started shivering even more, holding on Alice tighter than before. I felt my heart beating faster, my breath became both sharper and deeper, and I felt as if I would cry, right then and there, in front of everyone. I saw the blond becoming a bit stiff, his jaw clenching, swallowing deeply, but he still wouldn’t take his eyes off of me.

Alice and Edward exchanged some looks, as if they knew what was happening, but chose to not tell anyone else. The scene in front of me was interrupted by the clicks of heeled shoes, and a blonde girl came into our view. 

“Enough.” Her voice was stern, and her stance was stoic as she came closer to us.

“Jane.” Edward recognised her and lowered his head towards the ground. He didn’t seem scared before, when it was just the two vampires in front of us, but the small woman now seemed to have him terrified.

“Aro sent me to see what was taking so long.” She looked between the two vampires of her coven, as if she was criticizing them for their incompetence to bring us all before Aro. Then, she turned to us, looking us straight in our eyes, or rather our souls, probably to warn and scare us at the same time, before walking back to where she came from. 

Alice turned towards Bella and I, the only humans there, who clearly looked more terrified than she and Edward did. “Just do as she says.” She simply said and we followed behind the girl, with the other two vampires closely behind us. 

The blond one was so close to me, I could feel the coldness radiating off his body, making me shiver. The brunette gave Edward the red robe I didn’t notice he was holding before, probably to cover himself in front of the Kings. The blonde girl moved between Bella and Edward, and Alice and I. Edward was trying to comfort Bella but I couldn’t exactly make out what they were saying, my mind making all shorts of scenarios about how the vampires would kill me and the others. The more I thought about it, the more I was shriveling on Alice’s side. 

We reached an elevator - I never thought vampires used elevators, but maybe it was for the humans around? The brunette and the blond entered first, as the blond turned around to stare at us, turning his gaze at me afterwards, before fully stepping in. Then, it was time for Edward and Bella to get in, followed by Alice and I. The blonde girl stepped in last, before the elevator’s doors closed shut.

The elevator music, an operetta, was supposed to calm peoples’ nerves. Yet, in this tight box, it had the opposite effect. Surrounded by vampires, vegetarian and non, the music was just creeping me out. 

The fact that the blond vampire was merely two inches away from me was making my knees weak and my heart pounding, though I, myself, didn’t even know if my own body was reacting out of fear or attraction towards the blond vampire. I felt him leaning closer to me and barely heard him sniff around, but I clearly saw Alice turning her head around and giving him death stares, to which he retrieved back to his original position.

The elevator stopped and we all stepped out. We walked past a receptionist’s desk, the woman standing up, smiling and wishing us a good afternoon - based on the few Italian that I knew. From what Bella and Edward said, the receptionist was a human, wishing to become a vampire, like the others.

“And so she will be.” Demetri smirked, looking at me, who I still haven't abandoned Alice’s hand.

“Or dessert.” Jane interrupted, and I felt myself losing consciousness for a split second, before I felt the blond vampire grabbing my arm to stabilize me. His hand was cold and his grip tight on me, not leaving me even after I looked at him with wide eyes. He just smiled and continued walking ahead.

Jane opened the doors in front of her, leading us to a massive room, made out of marble, and decorated with Roman columns and scriptures on the walls. Surprisingly, it was well-lit and bright, compared to the dark halls that we passed through just a minute ago.

“Sister. Send you out to get one and you bring back two. And two halves. Such a clever girl.” A brunette boy, a bit taller than Jane, called towards her, as she walked by his side.

The blond vampire let me go and walk farther into the room, still holding Alice’s hand like I was holding on her for dear life. The blond vampire now stood a few feet behind us, next to the tall brunette one.

A black-haired vampire, who seemed a bit too excited, started walking towards us. “What a happy surprise! Bella is alive after all. Isn’t that wonderful. I love a happy ending. They are so rare.” He was talking with fake happiness in his face, as if he was reading from a script, grabbing Edward’s hand in the process.

“La tua cantante.” Your singer. The vampire seemed to know how much Edward craved Bella’s blood, and questioned how Edward could do so easily. 

“Aro can read every thought I’ve ever had with one touch.” Well, that explained a lot. And now I placed who Aro was within the Volturi.

I now learned more about Edward’s gift, which was more similar to Aro’s than anyone else’s, but he couldn’t actually read Bella’s thoughts. Aro requested if he could test his own gift on Bella, probably hoping that he could read her thoughts and brag about it. But when Bella offered her hand, which he took too willingly, his face was unreadable and then, disappointed and angry, not being able to read her either.

Then, he turned towards me, still by Alice’s side. His red eyes were cold and hostile, and his face uninviting. I felt small and vulnerable, exposed, in front of his critical gaze.

“Dear (Y/N), excuse me for the waiting. Edward has presented me a very..intriguing image of you. Could you offer me your hand? I would like to get to know you, as well.”

My lips were trembling, not being able to say a word, and my eyes were glistening. Please, don’t cry. Please, don’t cry. I knew that whatever Edward had shown him I couldn’t avoid. So, I took a step forward, leaving Alice’s hand and extending the other one towards Aro. I felt a breeze behind me, as Demetri came to stand on my right side, looking closely between Aro and I.

The mind reader took my hand between his hands, and I felt my thoughts being examined and tossed around my head, like a small whisper trying to cast a spell on me. The vampire looked at me, deep in the eyes, and his face was filled with fascination for whatever he saw inside my head.

“Fascinating, indeed, dear. Your mind is just filled with thoughts and images, though they are not very distinct. You are not an easy book to read. I still haven’t figured out who you really are. Although…”. He looked at the vampire standing beside me, motioning for him to give him his hand.

The blond obeyed his master. Did he have any other choice? Probably not. Aro took the blond’s hand, and his wicked, sick smile came back.

“Oh, this suddenly became even better than I would have expected.” He turned towards the vampire sitting on the throne, looking sad. Marcus? The vampire in question nodded, and Aro turned around in an almost theatrical move, with open arms, for everyone to see. 

“It seems that our dear Demetri has finally found his mate in (Y/N). I’m so happy for the two of you!” His face was smiling, but his voice sounded as fake as ever. 

I didn’t know what “mates” meant. Alice didn’t have enough time to explain every “vampire term” to me, so I was clueless regarding this part. The blond, who I now knew as Demetri, must have seen the confusion in my face, as he leaned slightly towards me and whispered “Soulmates” in my ear. My eyes widened and he giggled lightly.

Whether it was how close he came near me, or his giggle, or the fact that we were “soulmates”, my heart responded immediately, thumbing faster in my chest, and I felt my cheeks burn - I was clearly blushing in front of everyone, as if I couldn’t be any more awkward than I was before.

Aro interrupted my embarrassment, as he turned once again towards Bella, wanting to test if she was immune to the others’ gifts as well. He turned towards the blonde girl, Jane, asking her basically to show off her own gift. Edward ran forward to stop whatever it was going to happen, only to end up in pain, writhing in an inaudible pain, as Bella was practically screaming to stop.

I honestly didn’t mind Edward suffering, even if it was for a few seconds, considering that Bella had it worse for over 5 months. He finally dropped to the floor, as Alice ran to his side, and the blonde girl’s brother ran to grab Bella, to stop her from going by her lover’s side.

I had no idea what was happening. I was just looking around, shocked and scared, as all these unfamiliar things were taking place in front of my untrained eyes. I felt a hand stroking my arm up and down. I turned around to see Demetri smiling slightly at me, trying to calm me down. I sighed a bit and felt my heart slightly at ease.

That was until the Kings decided that Bella was a liability - I wasn’t? - and Aro called out for Felix. I turned around and saw the tall brunette smiling evilly, while the shorter brunette turned Bella around and left her there, exposed, in front of the giant. Edward seemed to know what it would be happening, as he immediately stood up and ran by Bella’s side to protect her.

He immediately ran forward, attacking the tall brunette, and knocking him down. Alice ran towards Edward to help him out, but she was immediately stopped by Demetri, who I didn’t notice had left my side, grabbing her by her neck and immobilizing her, dragging her away from ever reaching her brother. 

“Alec!” Demetri shouted towards the brunette boy, who had just left Bella at Felix’s mercy, pointing towards me with his eyes. The boy, Alec, came by my side, and practically dragged me farther from the scene that took place in front of me. His grip was a bit too much as he squeezed my arm, making me slightly cry in pain. Demetri growled at him, and Alec’s grip loosened significantly, but he still kept his hand on my arm.

Felix was pissed by now, as he immediately started fighting Edward, pushing and slamming him around the room. However, I couldn’t focus my gaze on them; not because they were fast, but because I was focused on watching Demetri, and how he was still holding on Alice’s neck tightly, never letting her go.

Watching Demetri’s hand around Alice’s neck should have made me feel appalled and sorry for the small brunette girl, but it didn’t. On the contrary, I felt rather aroused, watching his strong hand wrapped around the brunette’s neck. 

Honestly, I felt a wave of jealousy and annoyance hitting me. That should have been me! Only I was worthy to be touched by this sort of demon who masked his true identity with the facade of an angel. It should be me! I couldn’t help myself, my jealousy building up inside me. 

“Wish he’d choke ME!” I told myself, getting more frustrated by the minute.

“Patience, cara mia. All in due time.” Demetri smirked at me. I did not realise I said that out loud, until Alec started snorting beside me, clearly laughing cheekily, and Felix started bursting in laughter, his grip tight on Edward’s jaw by now.

I had embarrassed myself in a room full of vampires once again, the majority of them being part of the Volturi coven. If the Earth opened in half and swallowed me, I would pretty much welcome it at that point.

Bella brought me back to reality, as she was practically screaming, begging the vampires to let go of Edward, as she looked clearly distraught and upset. She even offered herself instead of Edward! Why, Bella? Just why? I have understood by now that they were mates and they’d do anything for each other, but she would sacrifice her own life for Edward?! That didn’t make sense to me.

Aro seemed to agree with me, but he thought more of the “soulless monster” perspective, while I thought more of Edward’s character, and how much his absence had scarred Bella. Alice told me, on our way here, that he thought he was doing everything to keep her away just to protect her, that being close to him put her in danger. But, from my own experience with Bella, she was suffering more away from him than he thought she would.

Aro looked disappointed between Edward and Bella, wishing he would give her immortality, which he did not seem willing to do. Aro moved menacingly towards the terrified girl, prepared to end her life. I fell forwards, attempting to reach her, to move in between them, but Alec’s grip tightened, keeping me back, both of his hands on my arms now. Aro was basically licking his lips, when, suddenly, Alice stopped him. 

The small brunette confirmed that Bella would become a vampire like them, and that she would even be the one to change her, as she saw in her vision. Aro called her forward, and Demetri let her walk towards his Master. 

He then moved towards Alec and I, replacing the brunette boy, but, instead of grabbing my arms like Alec did, he embraced me tightly, not letting me move away from my position. His cold embrace sent shivers down my spine, but, surprisingly, I let myself relax in his arms, feeling safe, and like that was where I belonged. I felt him smiling and relaxing, as well.

Aro seemed pleased with whatever Alice had shown him, and intrigued by her own gift of predicting the future. Alice had told me that her gift was subjected to the decisions people made, and the future could just change at any point. However, if Aro believed that her vision would eventually come true, we had no reason to tell him otherwise. 

Aro turned to Bella. “Your gifts will make for an intriguing immortal.” He whispered as he touched her face, Bella clearly feeling uncomfortable under his touch. I would, too - Aro seemed creepy in his own way, his behavior and movements just as unpredictable.

He then told us to leave, and prepare for Bella’s transformation, and Felix let go of Edward. Marcus told everyone that a woman named Heidi would be coming soon and thanked us “for the visit”, as Aro said his goodbyes. Demetri walked towards the exit, me still in his arms. Edward grabbed Bella by her hand and Alice followed them behind.

As we were walking through the corridor, a beautiful woman walked past us, many people - they looked like tourists - following behind her. She had long, wavy brown hair and purple eyes, which could only mean that she was most likely wearing blue contacts over her red eyes. Her aura was full of confidence and power; she knew what she was doing and she took her job seriously.

“Nice fishing, Heidi.” I heard Demetri addressing the woman from behind me. So, that was the Heidi Marcus was referring to. Wait.. Nice..what?

“Yes, they do look rather juicy.” The beautiful woman replied, eyeing between Bella and I, as she continued leading the tourists down the hallway.

Demetri must have seen her reaction, as he brought me closer to him. I was in shock, and started trembling more than before. These people, these poor people would be the vampires’ snacks in a few seconds. Like Bella and I could have been just minutes ago. I tried to not think about it, but the screams that echoed through the hall would probably haunt me for the rest of my life.

Demetri opened another door as we approached the end of the corridor, and we found ourselves back in the reception area. The Italian woman greeted us once again, but I didn’t listen to what she said, still in shock, just waiting to leave this horrible place as soon as I could.

“Just wait here. You will be able to leave in a few hours, when it’s dark outside.” Demetri instructed Edward and Alice, and took his arms away from my body, turning to look at me. “Wait here, cara mia. I’ll be back soon.” I nodded, not being able to say a word.

Demetri turned and ran towards the throne room. I knew he left to feed, and I just couldn’t bear the thought of him killing innocent humans. I couldn’t keep myself from crying, as I started trembling and losing balance. 

Alice came by my side, trying to stabilize and calm me down, while Edward tried calming down a hyperventilating Bella. We were both losing our sanity, not being able to keep up with the Volturi’s lifestyle, as it seemed. I was craving Demetri’s touch but, at the same time, I couldn’t stop the human in me, the logic, the sense that said that I should stay away from the vampires who killed people. 

I heard Alice and Edward talking with the receptionist, but I couldn’t make out exactly what they were talking about. Alice, slowly and carefully, with her hands still on my arms, led me to a nearby bench, as the receptionist walked away. I was rocking back and forth, trying to calm down, realizing that we are still alive. I saw the receptionist coming towards us, offering a glass of water to both Bella and I.

“Grazie mille.” I thanked her, my voice barely audible.

“Prego.” She smiled at me, and walked back towards her desk.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I didn’t realise how much time passed, until I heard footsteps coming towards us. I was way more calm by now. Lifting my head towards the direction of the footsteps, I saw Demetri and Felix. I shyly smiled at Demetri, and he smiled back, with a smile wider than mine, a smile that warmed my heart.

“Hello, again, amore mio.” I felt as if my heart stopped for a split second upon hearing the words he used to address me. I would still be weak to my knees, if I didn't already sit down.

Felix was the one to inform us that we were allowed to go now, being way past nighttime. I stood up, and attempted to walk forward, towards Bella and the two Cullen siblings. I intended to leave with them, but I was stopped by Demetri’s hand on my wrist.

“Where are you going, cara?” He looked at me, knowing why I was attempting to walk away.

“I.. I thought we’d.. be leaving? That I’d be leaving? With the others?” At least, I was hoping I would be leaving with them. 

“I’m sorry, amore. I can’t let you go, not now that I found you. You’ll be staying here, with me.” Demetri sounded so natural and serious, and I could only stare at him, my mouth agape.

“But.. I thought it was okay for me to leave. I have a life behind, you know. I have a school to finish, I have my family, I have things to do.” I still looked at him dumbfounded, waiting for him to allow me to go, just for now, just for a few months at least.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). But I cannot risk anything happening to you. I will make sure you are safe and protected here. We will arrange everything with your school and your family, and whatever else is needed. Please, stay.” Demetri’s eyes were pleading, and a shiver passed through my body, just by looking at him and hearing him talk.

It took me a few minutes to respond; nobody said a word all this time. “Okay.” I said faintly. “I will stay.. here.. with you.”

Demetri’s face lit up, and he leaned closer to me, wrapping his arms around me. He was careful to not hurt me, and I knew, at the moment, with my heart full of love and affection for that man, that that was where I was supposed to be. With Demetri. For as long as it lasted.  

[depressedhatakekakashi]

A day after the karaoke night when the Rokudaime was walking down the street he could see and hear everyone around him looking at him and whispering, some blushing and some even giggling and he has no idea what's going on... "Maybe I got something on my clothes?" He keeps looking at himself, checking his clothes "no, everything seems normal"... Then why the entire village has been acting so weird around him today, now he remembers that even Shizune seemed off today and if his mind isn't playing tricks on him, he remembers now that he saw her blushing too this morning... What the hell is happening?!!.

When he arrives home, he finds a gift box in front of his door with a card signed with "secret admirer" now he's even more confused.

The next day seemed like a déjà vu of the previous day except that when he got home, this time there was 3 different gifts from 3 different secret admirers, one of them even had a small note asking him if he would be interested in marrying a civilian!.

He was dead tired, he wanted nothing more than collapsing on his bed and having a good night sleep so he can function as a Hokage the next morning but after all of that craziness he ended up only tossing and turning in bed all night trying to figure out why everyone was being so weird all of a sudden?! he couldn't even sleep for few minutes and this is why he was looking half dead in his office right now.

"Rough night?" Shikamaru asked figuring out that he didn't have much sleep judging by his tired looks and the bags under his eyes.

"You have no idea" Kakashi answered after what could only be the longest most miserable sigh Shikamaru has witnessed in his entire life.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Shikamaru asked genuinely.

"I don't think so" Kakashi answered tiredly and Shikamaru can swear that he can see the outline of a massive pout under his mask "unless you would know why on earth anyone in their right mind would be MY secret admirer?!" He continued, throwing his hands in the air in disbelief.

Shikamaru doubles over laughing for a good minute "You are this miserable because you have a secret admirer?!" "I'm sorry, Hokage sama..."

"Please drop the 'sama' part" Kakashi interrupted, dropping his head frustratingly on his desk with a loud thud.

Shikamaru cringes for a second then raises his hand apologetically "I'm sorry, Kakashi sensei" he corrects himself "but this is absolutely ridiculous. I thought that there was a real crisis going on"

Kakashi raises his head from the desk with a speed of lighting Minato Sensei would be jealous of which he immediately regrets because it triples the throbbing in his head from the lack of sleep "This is a crisis!" He says disbelievingly "Everyone is acting so weird around me since yesterday... Did I do something wrong? Is there some kind of a new gossip going around the village involving me without my knowledge? It's crazy!!".

"Oh!" A sudden understanding look appears on Shikamaru's face.

"Oh?!" Kakashi raises an eyebrow questioningly "Shikamaru!.. You know what's going on, don't you?".

Without a word, Shikamaru moves around the Hokage's desk, stops right beside Kakashi's chair, reaches for the laptop, types something that Kakashi can't quite see since Shikamaru's back is blocking Kakashi's view of the laptops screen and then Kakashi hears music, Shikamaru then moves away and shock falls on Kakashi's features.

Right there on the screen, Kakashi can see himself singing what seems like the song that he sang a couple of nights ago for the karaoke night, the video looks like it has been recorded with a camera phone from one of the tables and was currently uploaded on YouTube by FutureHokageDattbayo and WHAT THE HELL!! it already has 16 million views?!! And on the side of the page in the recommend videos he can see reaction videos to his song and some other videos he doesn't even want to open with his picture as the thumbnail and a heart crown edited on top of his head... With technology such as computers, smart phones and internet blooming in his reign, the video is spreading so fast around the world. He is absolutely going to kill Naruto.

“I thought you would like it!” Naruto defends himself, cowering a little when his Sensei leaned over him. “Really sensei, you’re an amazing singer.”

“Just because i dare to get up on the stage doesn’t mean i want the world to see it,” he scolds his student, landing a punch directly on top of his head. “Do i have to take your phone away to have two minutes of peace?”

“But, Sensei-“

“Just because you like the spot light doesn’t mean everyone does,” straightening himself up he huffed when Naruto stared at him with big sad eyes. “Don’t give me that look. I bet as soon as Iruka hears about this-“

“Oh, he’s still watching the video on loop,” naruto’s pout turned into a massive grin. “He said he was surprised you could sing so well given how you always sound so…”

“Finish that sentence,” he growled. “I dare you.”

He could add another person to his Hitlist. There was already Genma and Yamato to deal with after he was done with Naruto, since he had found their versions of that night spread across the internet as well.

[diegos-butt]

Electricity chapter 4

Summary: For the first time in her life, Melody Williams is moving out of her hometown to Minnesota where she got a job as a crime journalist for the Minnesota Daily. But this city does not only have a new job for her to offer. What will happen when she crosses paths with detective Walter Marshall? Heads up, a little electricity is involved ✨

Walter Marshall x Melody Williams (Curvy OFC)

Warnings: mention of murder, a bit of fighting

Wordcount: 3.9k

A/N: don’t do anything reckless y’all. Let me know what you think of this chapter. 😘

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3

•••

Somehow the universe was on my side for once. Once I got home, I noticed I had a new text message. I was surprised to see that it was from Walter. He asked if I got home safe. What a gentleman.

I figured he just wanted to make sure I got home safe, I didn’t think too much of it. If anything, I didn’t think we would end up texting each other for three days in a row. Did I wish that would happen? Yes. Did I actually believe it could happen? Definitely no. I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t believe it.

“Have you been texting with him again last night?” Gia asked when she saw me yawn and stretch my arms out above me. We were having a slow morning at work, and this was the third time she showed up at my desk.

“Maybe,” I smirked. Even though it started a little awkward, we were still texting. After I had texted him back that I got home safe, and he send a thumbs up emoji, it was silent for a moment. I had thought about what I could possibly text him next. I grabbed my phone to compose a text when a new message already popped up.

Walter: Still sure you want to live here?

A smile had formed on my face. He thinks he is funny huh. I was wondering what I could text back, and I thought to myself: what would I tell my friends to text back in a situation like this? Normally, I would never listen to my own flirting advice, but at that moment, I did.

Melody: Might stick around. Heard the detectives in town are quite something.

Since then, we had been texting constantly. Alright, maybe not constantly, we were both busy during the day, but we spend a good amount of the late evening texting. We got to know each other a little better. I told him about my family, and I shared a few awkward stories. For example, I told him about the time I was too stubborn to put on sunscreen during the summer, and I got sunburned to bad, I would never forget to apply it ever again. I still apply it every day, even in the winter.

In return he told me all about the shenanigans he pulled as a kid, and that he had a kid himself, Faye. At first, I was a little bit surprised, but then I figured we would have a babysitter once we would get children. Mel, get it together. You are not even dating him, you don’t even know if he likes you and you are already thinking about having children with him?! Our kids would look damn cute though..

“Earth to Mel! Stop daydreaming for once, and get some work done.” Carmen laughed and threw a pen at me, which I skilfully dodged, but it did wake me up from my little daydream.

“There is nothing to do! No development in the murder case and that’s all I am covering right now,” I said and spun around in my chair. “I am so bored right now, I don’t even know what to do.”

“Text your man, see if he has any new information?” Gia suggested.

“Hmm, he avoided talking about the case. Maybe they are having trouble getting a match with the murderer on that dating app.” I had told them about what happened the other day at the police station. I might have a hearing problem now because they had screamed so loud, I’m convinced the entire building heard them. It’s safe to say, they were very excited and convinced he liked me.

“Besides, he’s not my man!” I said while throwing the pen I picked up back at Carmen. “I mean, I wish, but he is so out of my league.”

“No one is out of your league, and I swear he’s into you. I saw the way he looked at you at the bar and at the crime scene. I have an eye for these things, trust me,” Carmen said and dodged the pen as well.

“Whatever,” I sighed. I spun around in my chair a few more times before an idea popped up in my head. “Guys, what if we set up an account on that dating app?”

“And then what? Meet with a creep? No thank you,” Gia said with a disgusting look on her face.

“I’m not a fan of that plan either. Please don’t do something like that Mel. Don’t do anything stupid. That could be very dangerous, and you know it,” Carmen agreed.

“It’s not like I’m actually going to meet him. I just want to see if I can figure out what profile he is using this time.” I stood up and looked out of the window. I oversaw the city, the sky was grey, and it was slightly raining. “Alright, fine. Can one of you give me something to do in that case? Otherwise I will make a dating profile.”

Later that day I laid in bed, trying to sleep. It was 1am and I had been trying to sleep for two hours, but I was still wide awake. I felt restless and didn’t know what I could do to fall asleep. I had tried to drink some tea, didn’t help. I watched an episode of The Office, didn’t help either. It also didn’t help Walter hadn’t texted me back for hours now. I wondered if he was already getting tired of me.

You know, I could, maybe, possible, just make an account on that dating app and swipe for a while. Maybe I would come across someone that matches the profile that the murderer would use. Gia and Carmen will probably kill me though.

I grabbed my phone. I hesitated for a second, but I downloaded the dating app. After I made an account and uploaded some cute selfies, I finally got to do some swiping. The most guys that came up were pretty basic. They didn’t spike my interest at all. They were the typical white boy, all with the same haircut and they looked like they did not only skip legday, also arm- and chestday. Half of them also posed proudly with a fish they had caught. As if that’s something girls like. Too bad none of these men look a little like Walter.

I also came across a few good looking, decent guys. I knew that was not what the police were looking for, so I swiped them to the left. The next profile was of a guy who was way too good looking. He also only had one picture. It was obviously that this picture was stolen from a model. The bio creeped me out a little. He said he liked to hike in nature, and he enjoyed the silence. You enjoy the silence? Are you trying to creep me out on purpose or what? I swiped him to the right. It was weird but I felt like this could be the one the police were looking for.

I swiped for a little while longer. Swiping a few sketchy looking profiles to the right until I felt my eyelids drop. Yawning, I put my phone aside and finally fell asleep.

The next morning my alarm woke me up. I stretched out after I turned the alarm off and grabbed my phone. There were a few messages, one of them was from Walter, but what spiked my interest was that I had a few matches on the dating app. I wanted to check it out, but I noticed I had to get out of bed and take a shower if I wanted to be at work on time.

After I had showered and got dressed, I grabbed my phone. The first message I opened was from Walter. He had texted me at 3am.

Walter: We were working late today, no breakthrough in the case. Missed texting with you, can I make it up by calling you tonight?

My heart skipped a few beats. He wanted to call? With me?! I stared at the message for a few seconds while I felt some butterflies flying around in my stomach. Okay, no need to freak out. He just wants to call, he is not proposing. Yet….

Melody: I missed texting with you too. And of course, you can call me tonight. I look forward to it.

Before I could overanalyse my response, I hit send. Take a deep breath Mel. No need to read into this too much. I checked my other messages and texted my mom and Gia back. My mom wanted to know how I was doing, and Gia needed an approval of her outfit of the day.

I walked to the kitchen and grabbed some milk and cereal. While I was eating my breakfast, I noticed the notifications from the dating app. There were a few new matches, and one of them had send a message. It was from the guy with the creepy profile. His name was John. Millions of people are named John, you could’ve at least been a bit more creative while choosing a name.

John: What do you say good looking? Let’s skip the talking stage and just meet up?

I shivered at the thought of meeting up with this guy, but he could be the one they’re looking for, right? I decided to just go to work and deal with it later.

The workday was slow and boring. I finished a few articles but spend most of my time gossiping with Gia about our favourite celebrities which annoyed Carmen at first, because she wanted to get some work done, but eventually she joined us. I also told them about Walter’s text from that morning. If I weren’t sure I already had a hearing problem from their screams before, I sure as hell would have one now. Those girls made sounds so high, I’m surprised the windows didn’t crack.

The rest day went by slow, and before I knew it the clock showed me it was 3pm. I had decided to not tell Gia and Carmen about the fact I downloaded the dating app and was considering meeting with ‘John’. I mean, I would inform Walter about it. I wasn’t a complete idiot. No need to stress those girls out. Why would I?

My phone buzzed and I picked it up. Another message from ‘John’.

John: What’s it going to be beautiful?

I thought about it, and what could go wrong? I would inform the police, aka Walter. Besides that, I can put up a fight. It’s not like I am a damsel in distress. Plus, the upside of being a little bigger; I’m harder to kidnap, you got to be pretty strong to even lift me up. I shrugged my shoulders and texted him back.

Melody: Sure.

Short, but clear. I looked around the office, Gia and Carmen both sat at their desks typing on their computers. They had no idea what I was doing. They would probably kill me, right here right now. Before I could change my mind about not telling them, my phone buzzed again.

John: Tonight, 7pm? A new bar just opened up, we could get a drink there.

The rest of the message contained the address of the place. I googled it before I answered. The website of the place popped up, and as I suspected, it was clearly a fake website. Bingo. I texted him back, saying I agreed with his plan.

The rest of the hours I had to spend at the office went by surprisingly quick. Soon people were starting to leave, and so were Gia, Carmen and me. We parted ways in the entrance hall, and I drove home. Once I was home, I looked in the fridge, and I came to the conclusion I had forgotten to do groceries. Again.

I wasn’t in the mood to order take out, so I quickly drove to the supermarket. Unfortunately, unlike last time, I didn’t ran into Walter. Shit, I still have to text him about my meeting with ‘John’. I’ll do it once I get back home.

I drove back home and started making dinner. After I ate dinner, and did the dishes, I looked at the clock. It was already 6.30pm and I had to leave soon. Glaring down at my outfit, I decided I wanted to wear something more comfortable. I went to my bedroom and stood in front of my closet. I grabbed an old pair of jeans and a simple long-sleeved black tee. No way I’m going to dress pretty for this guy. Wait, what if he actually is the guy from the picture? Nah, not gonna happen. Shit, I still need to text Walter.

I needed to hurry up and put the tee on. While putting on the jeans, I suddenly heard a sound I didn’t like to hear. I look down and saw the jeans have ripped in the area between my thighs. Thick thighs save lives? They sure as hell don’t save jeans. I thought while throwing them across the room. Quickly I grabbed another, old, pair of jeans and put it on. I put my shoes on and fixed my hair.

I ran into the living room again and grabbed my jacket. With my car keys and phone in one hand, I locked the door behind me with the other one and made my way to my car. 6.45pm, right on time. I started the car and drove off.

While I stood in front of a red light, I remembered I hadn’t texted Walter. Shit. Contemplating what to do, I decided to call him. He didn’t answer. Shit. I left a voicemail instead. The red light turned green and I continued driving. Once I had to stop in front of another red light, I decided to text him as well. I noticed how the streets around me became emptier and emptier.

The street where I was supposed to meet ‘John’ was dark and pretty empty. The sun was settling down, making it even darker. I parked my car at a parking lot and checked my phone. No response from Walter. Not yet at least. I was alone in the parking lot and decided to wait for a few minutes.

Alright, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe this was pretty dumb. And why did I forgot to text Walter. Why couldn’t I have done that sooner?! You know what, I’m just gonna go. This was dumb. And reckless.

But before I could start my car, someone opened my door. A man stood there, he was tall but not very muscular and he did not look like the profile picture at all. He looked at me with a creepy grin that made me regret doing this.

“Hello there, nice to meet you. I’m John and you must be Melody. Why don’t you step out of the car?” he said. I didn’t knew what to say, so I nodded and wanted to step out, but he spoke again. “Why don’t you leave that phone of yours here, we don’t need it do we?”

I knew I had to play by his rules. So, I left my phone and stepped out. He took the keys out of my hands and locked my car. I tried to keep thinking straight. Walter should be here soon, right?

John kept talking to me in the meanwhile. He kept telling me how pretty I was and how glad he was to meet with me. I stopped listening when I heard my phone go off in the car. Walter. If that is not him but my mom, I will do something to her.

“Come on, let’s get away from that car, shall we? The bar is right around the corner,” he spoke. We were the only people in the parking lot. I noticed he had parked his car a few feet away from me. Something was definitely not right.

“You know, I’m actually good here. Could you give me my car keys back though?” I asked. I knew he wouldn’t, but I had to stall. I really hoped the police would show up anytime now.

“Ah please? Just one drink?” He took a step closer to me and grabbed my wrist. I quickly twisted my wrist, releasing it from his grip. He looked at me with an unpleased look, and I suddenly felt a presence behind me. Never sneak up on me you dumbass. I thought as I felt the presence got closer.

Once I felt someone was right behind me, I didn’t waste another second. I took a step to the right and shoved my elbow straight into the guy’s nose with full force. He grunted in pain and when I looked behind me, I saw he grabbed his bloody nose with both his hands.

“Creepy Greg from finance?!” I say surprised. “Could have seen that one coming.”

“You bitch!” the guy in front of me yelled. He raised his fist and threw it at my face. Well, he attempted it. I dodged it and slammed my fist into his face instead.

“Sorry, that might leave a mark,” I smiled.

Creepy Greg from finance was still standing behind me, crying, and telling me I broke his nose and that I would pay for it. Make me.

I looked back at the other guy, and he swung his arms at me again, trying to hit me. I ducked to the side a few times, avoiding being hit. Sadly, I couldn’t escape all his attempts to hit me. His fist met the left side of my face. I felt my blood boiling from anger. I took a deep breath and raised my fists. While I was about to throw a punch, I heard loud noises. Cars. Thank God, they’re here.

Before I could comprehend what was going on, policemen were already running towards us. One tackled creepy Greg and a familiar figure tackled the other guy and threw a hard punch in his face. This is not supposed to turn me on. At all.

Walter got up and handed the guy over to another cop. The guy looked at me in disgust, but I didn’t see it. My eyes were focussed on Walter. He closed the gap between us by taking two passes.

“First of all, that was insanely stupid and dangerous and very dumb. This was reckless behaviour! But we will discuss this later,” he said vigorously.

“Yeah, I figured,” I said. I opened my mouth to continue speaking, but he spoke first.

“Are you alright? Are you hurt?” he said with a concerned look in his blue eyes, and his hand caressed the cheek that had been hit. As his rough, calloused fingers touched my skin I felt a spark of electricity going down my spine. His other hand found its way to my waist, and he pulled me a little closer to him. His body radiated a welcoming warmth, and I smelled his familiar musky cologne.

“I’m fine, just got hit once. You should see creepy Greg’s nose,” I snickered.

“I did, and you sure know how to throw a punch,” he smiled. “I’m glad you’re okay. And I’m glad you called and texted me. I’m sorry I missed the call. If I hadn’t missed it none of this would have happened.”

“No, don’t be sorry. This was a pretty stupid, reckless plan and I should have called sooner,” I quickly answered.

“It was indeed reckless and stupid,” he sighed. “Look, we need to take your statement. Why don’t I take you home after?”

“I’d like that, but my car is here,” I said while pointing at it. His hand left my cheek, but his other hand remained on my waist. He was so close to me, and I felt so comfortable despite what happened a few minutes prior.

“We’ll take care of that, don’t worry.” He grabbed my hand, interlaced his fingers with mine and guided me to one of his colleagues. My heart was racing and skipped a few beats at the same time. His hand felt warm and comforting. I never wanted to let go.

We reached his colleague and he started asking me questions and he squeezed my hand before letting go. He walked away to speak to some of his other colleagues and I immediately missed his hand, it felt like mine had fitted perfectly in his.

I told his colleague what happened, and I could see he thought it was really reckless, but I also saw in his eyes he was kind of impressed. He complimented me on how I stayed calm, but he did tell me to never do anything like this again.

Once he dismissed me, I looked around for Walter. I noticed him already walking towards me, and he offered me a little smile.

“So, Liam is going to take your car down to the station and I will drive you home, alright?”

“Thank you,” I smiled at him. “Can I get something from my car? My phone and keys are still in there.”

After we got my stuff out of the car, he pointed at a big truck. We walked towards it in silence, and he placed his hand on my lower back. Oh god, please keep that hand there forever. Okay, I might be incredibly touch starved.

Unfortunately, we reached the car too soon and his hand left my back to open the door for me. I climbed in and he closed it. He walked around the truck, took place behind the drivers’ wheel, and started the car. While he drove into the street he asked for my address.

We sat in silence next to each other, the radio softly hummed a rock song. I looked out of the window, it was dark and suddenly I realized that what I had done tonight, could have ended badly. Really badly.

“Hey, are you okay?” Walter put his hand on my thigh but when I looked at him, his hand shot up to my cheek to wipe a falling tear away.

“Yeah, yeah. Just realizing that this maybe wasn’t a smart thing to do,” I offered him a small smile. His hand left my cheek and found its way back to my thigh. The warmth coming from it spread throughout my entire body and I didn’t think twice and placed my hand on top of his. He turned his hand around and interlaced his fingers with mine for the second time that night.

He smiled at me and focussed on the road again. We were near my home, but I did not want to be alone now. Heck, I wanted to be near him. I didn’t want him to go. It felt so good to just be around him. I have never felt so comfortable around someone so quickly.

He parked the truck in front of my apartment building, not letting go of my hand.

“So, we’re here,” I mumbled. He grunted in response. We sat in the truck in silence for a few more minutes until it started to rain. I knew it was now or never, he was not going to offer going inside with me. Not after what happened. Perhaps he thought I wanted to be alone.

I felt anxious, but I decided to just ask it.

“Could you stay with me for a while?” I avoided looking at him, but he squeezed my hand and his other hand gently grabbed my chin, making me look into his eyes.

“Sure thing doll.”

•••

> chapter five

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[theggning]

Codsworth Is So Underrated, You Guys

ALTERNATE TITLE: Codsworth and the Totally Understated Mindbending Evolution of Artificial Consciousness

I find Codsworth is often the most underrated of the 16 companions in Fallout 4. Your faithful robot butler is among the very first you can recruit and an excellent early-game ally, but he has a few disadvantages in gameplay that mean he’s often sent back to Sanctuary before long. Codsworth is a mid-to-close range fighter only, cannot wear armor or be equipped with weapons. He cannot be healed by stimpak, which makes him a liability if you’re playing on Survival mode. He has no companion quest of his own, so unless you particularly enjoy him there’s not a compelling reason to keep him for a long time. He also becomes recruitable exactly 2 minutes after adorable puppy Best Boy Dogmeat, so he is often (understandably) replaced just as soon as he’s made available.

But there is this great, completely understated facet to Codsworth, so understated that the game does not draw attention to it in any way. And yet, it is a wonderful reflection of many of the themes of Fallout 4 and, I believe, a pretty strong indication of its thesis statement.

Now what in the hell am I talking about?

Like many sci-fi/fantasy universes, the Fallout series is home to many highly-advanced robots. Robots were commonplace before the Great War, and many have survived the bombs intact and in working order. Others have been built or modified by wastelanders to serve various tasks (Percy, Ada.) The most important thing to understand about robots, though, is though they may have vivid personalities programmed in, they are widely accepted to be objects. They are thought of the same way as an appliance, a machine built for a specific purpose and programmed to follow a strict set of protocols.

Many jokes revolve around the relatively rigid intelligence of robots. Pre-War, many were deployed in inappropriate jobs or designed haphazardly (Mister Handies acting as nurses in a hospital, “paramedic” Protectrons with massive deadly tasers for hands, military robots constantly going haywire and erupting in friendly fire.) Others continue to man businesses and play out daily tasks as they were programmed to do over 200 years ago. Most robots are incapable of understanding anything beyond their initial programming, and most pre-War robots are completely unaware that the Great War ever happened.

When the Sole Survivor reunites with Codsworth at the ruins of their home, it seems like he, too, doesn’t understand what’s going on. He talks about tending the (dead) garden, references the (ghoulified) neighbors, and generally acts like the chipper robot butler Sole left behind on their way to Vault 111.

But there is something slightly… off in Codsworth’s dialogue here. Though he acts like the war never happened, he also specifically mentions details that suggest it did:

Player Default: Codsworth! You're still... fully operational?          

Codsworth: {Defiant} Well of course, mum. You can thank the fine engineers at General Atomics for that! At least, you could have. Had they not been... vaporized.

A bit over 210 actually, mum. Give or take a little for the Earth's rotation and some minor dings to the ole' chronometer. That means you're two centuries late for dinner! Ha ha ha. Perhaps I can whip you up a snack? You must be famished.

You've no idea the desperation for human contact one develops over 200 years. {Upset, recalling bad memories of encountering raiders and scavengers. / Disgust} And when you do encounter them? Oh the cruelty! You're either... target practice or... spare parts!

Even stranger, Codsworth mentions details that are plainly made-up (or some kind of delusion):

Codsworth: It's been ages since we've had a proper family activity. Checkers. Or perhaps charades. Shaun does so love that game. Is the lad... with you...?   

Player Default: Codsworth... listen to me carefully... have you seen him? Have you seen Shaun?              

Codsworth: Why, sir had him last, remember? Perhaps he's gone to the Parker residence to arrange a play-date?

(Shaun is an infant. He is too young to play charades or to go to the neighbors for a play-date.)

So at once, Codsworth does and does not acknowledge the war. He does and does not seem to understand what’s happened, and he does and does not seem to follow Sole’s urgency regarding their spouse’s death and Shaun’s kidnapping.

And then, after a speech check, Codsworth finally snaps and breaks down sobbing in despair. Not only does he understand that the war happened, he has developed the ability to get depressed about it. Longing for human contact and with nothing else to do, he’s even developed coping mechanisms to help him try to deal with his loneliness and despair—futilely trying to do his chores and deluding himself into pretending everything is completely normal.

Wait a minute. Sobbing? Despair? Depression? Coping mechanisms and delusions? This Is all pretty sophisticated stuff to be programmed into a robot, and if you spend more time with Codsworth, the reality of what’s happened to him becomes apparent:

Codsworth has evolved beyond his programming. In his 210 lonely years of existence, he has developed emotional reactions and self-awareness far beyond that of most other robots, and, indeed, has basically evolved an artificial consciousness.

“Emergent intelligence” is the theoretical ability of an AI to eventually develop something resembling human thought processes, and it seems that our dear Codsworth has undergone this. Traveling with him, he displays many sophisticated thoughts and behaviors far beyond what most robots are shown to be capable of. He has memories of pre-War time and places, and understands how various locations have changed. He is capable of learning new information and forming opinions on it, gaining his own understanding of the people and factions in the Commonwealth. He can feel happiness, sorrow, fear, disgust. He can anticipate things, predict danger and imagine how people might respond to your actions. The mere he fact he has opinions and a moral code that he applies to you shows he has free will, something even other robot companions don’t (Ada has a personality, but absolutely does not care about your actions.)

He’s also smart enough to make many wry observational jokes, and to lay one hell of a sick burn on you:

{Joking - Found an old bowling alley. / Amused} Fancy a game, mum? Something tells me the bumpers are no longer available.

 Codsworth’s intelligence is even more sophisticated than that. He displays stunning self-awareness, frequently referencing the fact he is a robot and what that means. He is very proud of his background as General Atomics’ finest, and seems pleased with his robot nature and his lot in life. (Unlike Curie, I don’t think Codsworth would ever really want to gain a synth body. He seems quite happy as he is.)

Here he is making reference to still feeling the tug of his programming:

{Seeing an office with chairs arranged in a circle. / Neutral} I've the most incredible urge to rearrange those chairs in a more perfect circle.

Understanding when other robots are restricted by theirs:

A pity. It appears Deezer's programming is too severe to allow for normal conversation. Ah well.

And when they’re actually not:

Codsworth: Greetings, sir. Good to see another robot in town. That chef hat becomes you.

Takahashi: Nan-ni shimasho-ka?

Codsworth: Takahashi you say? I'm Codsworth, a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Takahashi: Nan-ni shimasho-ka?              

Codsworth: Is that so? Well, we both know RobCo is no General Atomics. It's not surprising it failed, shoddy work and all.  {Friendly - trying to cheer up another robot. / Friendly} Chin up, though. Never know when parts may turn up.

 And here’s Galaxy Brain Codsworth ruminating on his own state of being and contemplating his nature:

{Disappointed that he can't be 100% human sometimes. / Sad} It's unfortunate that I lack the proper design to consume liquids. Something about camaraderie over a few drinks is very inviting.            

I suppose if I had the hardware, I'd have the software as well. I'd hate to see how that'd affect my honesty and manner settings.

{Reconsidering what he thought was a good idea. / Thinking} Indeed. Perhaps I should rethink my initial desire.

Hilariously, Codsworth does not seem fully aware of how remarkable his intelligence is. He occasionally says things like “if I had feelings” and “if I could feel things,” indicating that in some ways he still believes he is only a robot and defines himself by what a robot is and does.

But as we can see, our humble robot butler has essentially evolved to become the smartest, most emotionally intelligent and person-like robot in the Commonwealth*, and potentially in the series.

([SIDE NOTE: Other FO4 robots nearing Codsworth’s level of consciousness and developed personality include Captain Ironsides, KLE-O, Whitechapel Charlie, and perhaps Takahashi. Curie is close, but also receives the unfair advantage of being uploaded into a synth body with a human brain. Jezebel also functions off of a human brain. Nick is not a robot, he’s a synth (though he does jokingly refer to himself as one) and also has the advantage of a human brain encoded on his processor.])

Also hilariously, the game basically does not acknowledge Codsworth’s impressive evolution. At all. There is absolutely no direct mention of it in the script. It is all left to ambient dialogue and the player’s own observations. And because so many people overlook Codsworth as a companion, they may not even realize exactly how unique his expanded consciousness is.

Now, you might call this total lack of mention a mistake, an oversight on Bethesda’s part, or that old chestnut “bad writing.” I don’t think it is. I think it’s a deliciously subtle little detail to include in a story about humanity, machines, artificial intelligence, and what makes a person.

Many of the themes of FO4 revolve around synths—distinctly not robots, but androids, artificially created beings with fully organic human bodies. Most of the storyline factions have strong beliefs about synths and the relative humanity thereof. The Institute believes that synths are objects, tools, machines no different from a robot who are only simulating their personalities through programming. The Brotherhood believes synths are monstrous abominations, a danger to humanity itself, technology run amok which needs to be destroyed. The Railroad believes they are people. Not humans, but people, built instead of born, free-thinking beings that deserve to be treated with respect and given rights.

Through quests, dialogue, notes, worldbuilding and other venues, players explore these questions. What makes someone a person? If your personality and memories can be rewritten or programmed, then who are you, really? Where do we draw the line between humans and machines, and how do we decide who belongs where?

Meanwhile, as the player contemplates the nature of personhood and the definition of intelligence, their robot butler quietly evolves into a fully-conscious person on his own, right beside them.

Codsworth is unquestionably a machine, but also unquestionably beyond the appliance he was built to be. Which to some philosophies and players should really beg a few other questions. If a robot can be considered a person, then what makes synths so different? And how many excuses do we have to make to pretend otherwise?

Ya boy Codsworth may not be flashy, or powerful, or kissable. He may not be the most glamorous companion around. But he is a good friend, a beloved member of the family, and above all else, a loyal butler—content to serve, quietly and humbly doing his job where some may never even notice him-- or the fact that he’s casually become his own person and sent generations of roboticists and philosophers spinning in their graves.