#this was during the time where I first realized i liked girls
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queer-things-and-stuff · 7 hours ago
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you know, as a trans masc NB, it’s hard to acknowledge so many parts of my past self, solely because of the way people see me. i’m greatful to have developed the self respect to be able to say i miss being a little girl, cause that’s who i was back then, that’s what i was, and it was nice, it was wonderful really. it was simple and easy and i never realized how far away from me it would become. i never hated myself, i never wanted to be someone different, i just wanted to be me without the restrictions brought by the countless labels placed on me.
all of this is to say me too, OP. I miss laying on my belly and playing with barbie’s and listening to Pink, feeling like the og underdog. imagining a beautifully crafted future. one that was perfect for me, i’d have a nice big house, and a puppy, and i’d be a super famous singer, and i’d be happy.
i keep finding myself wondering where that person went, when my capacity for, and my belief in the happiness I had, and hoped for, got capped. when it all became too much to pretend I’d ever find myself awake in that little girls dream.
i know when i realized I’d never be a singer (i heard a recording of my own voice and it was enlightening to say the least), i have an idea of when i realized I’d never have a nice big house (around the 2rd or 3rd time being homeless, sleeping in hotels and shelters) i know when i realized I’d wouldn’t be getting a puppy (when i had no choice but to live with the deadbeat “father” who’d kept promising me one over phone calls and during visits, and he never brought it up once in the whole year i stayed with him)
i know when i realized i wasn’t happy just to be there anymore, to be alive. when i realized how sad I really was. like a switch had been flipped, the person i was before dissolved and the person i would become began to grow. the first time i felt depression, the first time i idealized suicide, the first time i realized i could feel so alone, even when surrounded by people who were supposed to love me.
i didn’t mean for this to get so long, i just… hope, and joy, and dreams, where have they gone? will i ever get them back? to finally stop questioning whether or not the person who previously heald that hope, and that joy, and those dreams, was me, means to wonder why they left me so desolate when i became the person i am today.
i miss being a little girl full of hope and joy that plays alone in her room dreaming about her future
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heesimp · 2 days ago
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hiii can I be 🦢 anon!
I was thinking maybe reader sexing prof heeseung
swan is saved for you! enjoy this drabble xxx
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“Aren’t your students coming soon?”
“I hope so.” Heeseung smiles down at you wickedly but it doesn’t stop you from looking up at him from where you sit on his desk in the empty classroom. It’s a free period for him and he’s called you in under the guise of revising a paper, but you know better than to believe that. You smack his chest at his innuendo.
Everybody knows who Heeseung is: a great professor who is as passionate about teaching as he is when it comes to literature. He started as a TA at this university before obtaining his PhD in literary studies and passes on his love for knowledge to his students.
You sit in the third row just shy from the center in your pretty dresses that are modest enough to wear to class but stylish too. Unlike the rest of your classmates, you aren’t afraid to answer Heeseung’s questions and raise your hand to give you input either. He likes that about you and it’s what made you his favorite student.
Heeseung loves ambition in people because he sees it in himself. He loves it when his students have that drive to them and loves reading papers and grading test scores from his brightest pupils. It makes him so proud.
You fit in his life somehow in ways he hadn’t imagined. You, with your supple skin and bright mind enticed Heeseung the first time you took advantage of his office hours. You’d been the first student to visit him and talk about the course material, and it didn’t help that you were wearing a short skirt on a hot day with your thighs sticking to the leather seat below you. He went home that night and touched himself to the thought of gripping your thighs as he fucked you in his office.
The first time the two of you were alone at a late hour on campus was by accident. You couldn’t make it to his office hours and asked to schedule for a time after classes were over and spent an hour discussing the lesson plan and your favorite authors. The second time was by accident too, as he had run into you at the library during the evening and offered to walk you to your car since it was so late at night.
The third time was by accident as well, except neither of you cared that clothes weren’t involved. Now, he conceals kisses with you in between your classes and his, and keeps his doors locked when you come in to have lunch with him.
“I have thirty minutes before my next class starts and you, baby, have an hour before your exam. Shouldn’t you be studying?”
“Stayed up all night just so I could do this with you now,” you say, pulling Heeseung closer to you by pushing your legs around him. He holds your waist and you position your crotch right against his. He’s hard already. “Besides, I perform better after I cum.”
“Mm, is that right?”
“Yes, professor. Haven’t you ever wondered why I test well with your cum sitting inside of me?”
“So dirty for me.” Heeseung dips down to press his lips right on top of yours like he’s been dying for a taste all morning. “Makes me wanna fuck you real hard.”
“You have thirty minutes.”
Your sultry voice lures him right in. He doesn’t have enough time for foreplay and fears that someone might need him before he’s set to begin teaching so he pulls his cock out of his pants before shoving them down until they reach his ankles. You did him a favor by wearing a dress today and when he pushes a hand underneath to push your panties to the side, he groans when he realizes you aren’t wearing any.
Heeseung pushes the tip inside of your wet hole and looks you in the eye. “You’re trouble.”
“You like that though, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” he says, pushing himself further inside of you until you’re arching your chest into him, “I really do. My naughty girl.”
His hips thrust in and out of you at a nice pace. You feel him within your walls and push yourself off of the table with the palm of your hands to angle yourself towards him better with his wet dick sloshing around you. It seeps down onto his balls and Heeseung puts his own hands on the desk beside you in order to kiss you.
“Did you complete your online assignment?”
“Really, Hee? You’re asking me that now?”
Heeseung smirks and pushes himself in and out of you faster until you’re yelping against his lips. “Yeah, I am. Don’t want my best student to fall behind just because she’s drunk over some cock. Did you finish it, Y/N?”
“Y-Yes!”
“Do you think you did a good job?”
“I did!” you whine against him as Heeseung kisses your neck. “I double checked my references!”
“Perfect student with a perfect pussy.” He pulls back far enough to see his cock disappearing inside of you. “Wooooow. Would you look at that?”
“Wish you would come fuck me in my dorm,” you whine. “I hate fucking in your office.”
“You like my bed though, don’t you? My bed is much bigger than the pathetic twin the university gives you.”
“Yeah, but think about it. It’s really hot when you know we shouldn’t be fucking there.”
He shakes his head and kisses your lips to silence you. “Can’t risk getting seen by other students, baby. Fucking in my office is risky enough.”
“Then you should make me cum so we don’t get caught.”
Heeseung heeds your warning and uses the strength in his legs to push you onto the desk until your legs are in the air. His hands come to your calves to keep your legs apart just how he likes you to be, watching your silk-like pussy folds envelope him like you’re a siren waiting to ruin him.
You come when he comes. That feeling of sudden warmth in your hole makes you go insane every time he does it. Heeseung pulls out enough to watch as the rest of his cum drips onto your folds until he’s soft enough to clean the two of you up. He wipes you down with a spare tissue before he leans down to lick one strip up your pussy and kissing your clit before closing your legs for you.
“Same time tomorrow?” You bat your eyelashes at him and he laughs.
“I have a faculty meeting, unfortunately…Why don’t you spend the weekend with me?”
“Oh? And do what professor?”
“I think you know what.”
He wills himself not to get hard again.
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gilbertscurls · 9 hours ago
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heyy girl first of alll your writing is the best and best writer here and your fluff is just AHHHH i really wait everyday for u to post so i got a request fans edit Chris and reader to no.1 party anthem sing by artic monkey mybe its edit of chris talking about her or anything ANDILOVEYOUU
omg you're so nice, i love you!!!! i hope you like it <3
Yapping ➵ Chris Sturniolo
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The low hum of the city filtered through the cracked window, mingling with the faint sound of cars drifting up from the street below. You leaned back against the couch, phone in hand, mindlessly scrolling through TikTok as Chris's voice carried from the kitchen. He was rummaging through cupboards, probably looking for the last pack of his favorite snack, his faint mutterings punctuating the quiet.
It was the kind of lazy day where time seemed to slip away unnoticed. Your thumb swiped up the screen, passing by dance trends, funny memes, and cooking hacks, until something familiar caught your eye.
A video with the hashtag #SturnioloTriplets popped up on your For You page. It was one of those fan-made edits that you occasionally found yourself watching—clips of Chris, Nick, and Matt in their usual chaotic, fun-loving glory. You tapped on it, expecting a montage of their latest shenanigans.
But what you saw made your heart skip a beat.
The video opened with Chris sitting in front of the camera, a familiar setting that looked like the triplets' car. His usual animated self was present—his hands gesturing wildly, his face full of that vibrant energy he was known for. It was one of his “yapping” sessions, where he rambled on about anything that popped into his head. But today, instead of talking about a meme or some funny moment with his brothers, he was talking about you.
"Man, I don’t even know how to explain it," Chris was saying, his voice soft but filled with affection. "She just… she’s everything. Every day, she makes me feel like the luckiest guy alive. I mean, I never believed in fate or anything like that, but the second we met? It was like… I don’t know. It just clicked." He paused, running a hand through his hair, his expression shifting to something far more sincere than his usual joking demeanor. "She makes me want to be better, you know? I’m just—I'm so in love with her."
Your heart melted at the sound of his voice, the raw sincerity in his words taking you by surprise. You had heard him say it before, but this… this felt different. As the clip played on, his face softened even more as he continued, "I don’t think she realizes how much she means to me. I could talk about her all day, but she’d probably just roll her eyes at me."
The screen flickered, and then, instead of just his words, the video transitioned into an edit. It was a soft montage of moments—your moments together. A collection of clips pulled from the triplets’ vlogs, his social media posts, and those little private, candid shots that had somehow made it into the public eye. There was a shot of you laughing together in the kitchen, your head thrown back, eyes sparkling as Chris pulled a goofy face. Another was of the two of you walking hand-in-hand, your fingers intertwined in a way that made everything around you feel quiet and still, just the two of you in your own world. There was a shot of you sitting next to him during one of their live streams, both of you leaning in close as he whispered something funny in your ear, making you laugh so hard you almost snorted.
The song lyrics echoed in the background, making the edit even more heartfelt.
It was a perfect blend of those little moments that spoke volumes—subtle, intimate, and filled with love. The video cut back to Chris, a soft smile on his face as he looked into the camera. "I don't think she knows it, but she’s my everything. And I’ll never stop saying that."
The look of love, the rush of blood
The "She's with me"'s, the Gallic shrug
The shutterbugs, the Camera Plus
The black & white and the color dodge
The good time girls, the cubicles
The house of fun, the number one
Party anthem
The video ended with his smiling face and a caption: “Chris Sturniolo, everyone’s favorite yapping sweetheart.” You sat there for a moment, staring at the screen, your heart doing flips in your chest. You had always known how much Chris loved you, but seeing it in this way? It made your chest tighten, a flood of affection and warmth rushing over you.
You looked up just in time to see Chris saunter back into the room, a mischievous grin on his lips.
“What’s got you so smiley?” he asked, collapsing next to you on the couch, his arm slipping behind your shoulders. The scent of him—faint cologne and warmth—enveloped you.
“Just this,” you said, turning your phone towards him, the last frame of the edit paused on his face, mid-laugh.
Chris’s eyebrows shot up, and then that familiar, teasing smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. “Oh, so you found it, huh? Yeah, I might’ve gone a little overboard that day.”
“No,” you whispered, leaning into him, feeling the beat of your pulse against his. “It was perfect.”
His eyes softened, and for a moment, there was no screen, no city noise, no world outside the two of you. Just the number one party anthem playing between heartbeats.
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tag list: @stuwniolo, @sturnobsessedwh0re, @matts-myloverboy, @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut, @lizzymacdonald06, @asherrisrandom, @sturniolowhore69, @faith5drpepper, @emely9274, @psychologyloverfr, @lovetaylorrussellgrr, @conspiracy-ash, @helpimateenagerinlove
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kitkatpancakestack · 2 days ago
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Ideas for character arcs that are not the emotional equivalent of oatmeal left on the counter for five days:
Eddie falling out w/ his mother. threatening to cut her off. The scene is blocked exactly like the one when they were sitting in their living room during Eddie Begins but this time Eddie in his new epiphany abt his self worth gets to be like "I want him (Chris) to have a full life knowing he's loved and supported I don't want you to drag him down like you dragged me down with you." OOH LEAVE HER COOKED EDDIE.
Hen gets shot in the middle of nowhere and there are flashbacks to her life growing up as she has to keep herself alive. Bonus points if we get some kind of reference to how she'd always held people at arm's length bc they end up disappointing you (her mom, dad, Eva, etc.) but she realized you can't survive alone that people save people and you just have to find the right people, at the exact moment Karen finds her or something
Chim's father dies and we get Han Brothers bottle episode as they travel to the funeral and further dichotomize their lives especially with chim now being potential father of two. Been asking for this for literal years.
Bobby's been thru enough. I still think he should open a food truck tho.
Buck goes reverse OBX and kills his dad. Lol jk (unless???👀) okay for real tho I wouldn't be mad about like a plotline with Buck and Maddie getting caught up in or investigating some kind of case that parallels their life growing up. and maybe we get some sibling tension (but this time more anger from Maddie about it)
Athena.....girl just quit ur job lmfao.
We said it before and I also think it would pack an even bigger punch with the main kids being older but, an episode all about the firefam kids and how they view life and death and their priorities etc. thru the lense of being in a first responder family where their parents are constantly in danger/have almost died
There are so many actual good ideas out there tim is just looking to the wrong places lol
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3vergr3en · 1 day ago
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Kissin’ and hope they caught us!
Part two | spotify playlist
PAIRING (📖) . loser!collegeau!jake x fem!college!reader
A/N (🖊️) . I'm crazy over loser Jake (he's so cute 😕) my obsession with the headcanon abt Jake being a loser trapped in a hot man's body is concerning in the name of feminism. he has me gripping my hair like im going insane or smth
ADDITIONAL INFO (💻) . W/C is 2.2k! porn with little plot. Reader is smitten with Jake!! Jake is a little oblivious but it's okay, his geek charm makes up for it (and for the fact that he's PACKING). These two are FREAKS and PERVS. No p in v, oral (male received), Jake cant help himself from cumming inside, public sex!! everything about this fic is just so filthy and nasty 🫣
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You recalled all the times when you dreaded going to college. It would be a new chapter of your life and you didn't know if it would turn out well.
But that would change as soon as you stepped into your campus's library and laid eyes on such a greek god of a man who sat at a table surrounded by books. Looking past the round frame of his glasses, you can see his big doe eyes that held a blend of curiosity and intellect. But that innocent look to him would only fuel your desire as you take in his features. His plump, soft pink lips curling up into a warm smile complimented his chiseled jawline. You don't know how a man could look so handsome yet so cute but you knew right then that college would be the best time of your life.
Midterms were nearing and what does a studious girl like you do during these times?
Eye-fuck your best friend who's taking the time out of his day to help you study.
"Y/n?" His soft-like-butter voice brought you out of your daze. "Do you understand this?" Jake asks, bringing your attention to the section in your notebook where his.. long, slender fingers are pointing.
You tug your bottom lip between your teeth, biting back the whimper that threatened to slip out when you watch him pick up your pen and skillfully swing it around his middle finger till it sits perfectly on his ring finger. You can only imagine how his fingers could feel inside of you. Curling just enough to reach that spot that makes you see stars. Yeah... he's getting it tonight.
“I uhm— I don’t understand, sorry.” You reply with a lack of sincerity. You knew damn well what you were doing. You like to say that hearing it from Jaeyun would make studying fun.
Jake grins, letting out a soft chuckle. Who’s he to turn you down when you’re seeking his help. Because in reality, he’s had an eye on you for a while. He will never forget the day when he first met you.
It was a Tuesday, and Heeseung came literally begging (almost on his knees too) him to do his paper that he forgot was due at 11:59 PM that same day. And what does sweet, caring Jake do? You guessed it, he manages to cram a 6-page essay into his already busy schedule. He remembers sitting at a table in the library, books about whatever Heeseung was researching were scattered around him. He was on the brink of calling it quits and letting his friend fail (which was most likely not gonna happen) and quite literally started praying for a sign of some sort to encourage him to continue on.
And as if he had his own personal angel watching over him to hear his prayers, the sound of your boots clicking against the smooth, wooden floorboards drew his attention from the book sprawled out in front of him. There you were, strutting through the double doors with a smile. The confidence that oozed out of you had reached him even when he was across the room. He watched you talk to the lady at the front desk, in awe when you tucked a strand of loose hair behind your ear as you focused on something. You were like a shot of espresso and he drank in the sight of you. You were everything he had ever dreamt of in a girl. From the hair to the way you dressed, hell, even your smile. He was too lost in his thoughts to realize you were walking up to him. It wasn't till you spoke that snapped him back into reality, "Hey, is this seat taken?" You ask, pointing at the empty seat next to him.
He just stares.
Holy shit. You were talking to him. Holy shit. Holy fuck. shitshitshit. C'mon, Jake. Say something.
His voice slightly cracks when he mutters a quick, "No."
You bite your bottom lip, smiling at his reaction. "Great. I'm Y/n, you are..?" You ask, sitting down in the chair beside him.
His eyes dart around the empty seats surrounding the two of you. Why would you want to sit directly next to him? Do you think he's cute? Well, you're definitely cute. You're really hot. Drop-dead gorgeous even. Wait. Why are you staring at him like that? Did he- OH-
"Jaeyun! Sim Jaeyun!" He almost barks out, cringing into his seat when he gets shh'ed at by a random student.
You giggle quietly, slouching down to match his level. "Nice to meet you, Jaeyun. I hope we can be friends."
Friends... Yeah.. I can do friends! (he def cannot do friends and neither can you)
"Hey Jake," You calling his name startles him. "Hm?" He really needs to stop dozing off in front of you.
"There's this book that I couldn't reach earlier. Could you help me with that?" You chuckle, giving a moment for the boy to process. And as if on cue, his head perks up to look at you. There he goes.
You guide him towards the very far back of the library, specifically a corner that had students unlikely to come by. It was shielded off by another shelf of books, allowing for you two to go unnoticed.
"Where was it again?" Jaeyun asks, his height easily granting him access to the tallest shelf.
"Right.." You point at some random book, "There."
Jake, too immersed in his determination to find the said book, fails to notice you sinking down onto your knees right next to him. "Y/n? What's the title of the book? I can't really..." He finally goes to look at you. But he's confused when he's met with an empty space that was once occupied by you. He looks around until his gaze travels downwards where he sees you looking up at him with a smile.
"Y-Y/n! Wh-What are you doing?" Oh god. He can feel himself twitching inside his sweats. This is a very dangerous sight to see you in.
"I wanted to repay you for helping me, Jaeyun." You calmly explain, batting your eyelashes at him.
He's dreaming. He has to be.
"You're such a sweet guy y'know..." Your hands snake up his legs, "And I was thinking 'How could I ever repay him' but then," You lean in to plant a kiss on his prominent bulge, "This idea popped in my head not too long ago."
Jake could only lean against the shelves of books to steady himself. His hand glued to his mouth to muffle any sounds that slipped out while you pulled down the waistband of his pants.
This is exactly like his wet dream but so much fucking better.
"Y/n— oh fuck.." He moans into his hand when he feels you pulling his cock out from its confines. The cold air hitting his warm dick makes him hiss.
"Holy fuck, Jake. You're huge." You gawk, staring at his cock that you were lazily stroking. It was average in length, but fuck, the girth makes up for it.
"Fuck. Please, Y/n." The way he moaned your name sent waves of heat straight to your core. You swore you could feel your slick seeping through your panties.
Your hand feels so much better than his by a long shot. It's so soft, so warm. If it feels this good in your hand, he wonders how it would feel to be buried inside of you.
As pre-cum oozes out from his tip, you couldn't help but circle your thumb around the head of his cock. This must've been a sensitive spot for him by the way he abruptly thrusts his hips forward. "F-Fuck. I need to feel more, please." He begs almost pathetically, eyes hooded in need. Need to feel your mouth around his dick.
"You have to stay quiet, Jaeyun. Don't want people to find out what we're doing back here, do we?" You question, giving his cock a tug that makes him whimper.
You're so hot when you're manhandling him like this. So so hot. "No." He answers shakily, his chest heaving up and down.
You smile at him. So obedient. So cute.
You flattened out your tongue, slapping his head on the pink muscle. He tilts his head back, jaw slacked and mouth open, but no sounds come out. Only heavy breaths and quiet whimpers. Your warm breath fanning over his cock feels so good. But nothing will prepare him when he then feels you licking up a long stripe from the base of his dick to the very tip. If it weren't for the shelves supporting him, he'd be on the floor right now.
You moan before lapping your tongue at his tip, collecting his pre-cum. "You taste so good, Jakey."
You felt daring all of a sudden. Having the man of your desires stand here, letting you suck his dick was hotter than any fantasy you had. You relaxed your throat, giving yourself a moment to prepare for what you're about to do.
Jake could sense something coming from you. The way you looked up at him, he can see in your eyes what you're thinking about. He didn't really know exactly what to expect, but he brought one hand to cover his mouth just in case.
A guttural moan rips out from Jake when you suddenly try to take him whole into your mouth. His eyes widen as he realizes that he was louder than he anticipated it to be. He just prays that no one comes snooping around. Especially not when he has his dick down your throat because not only would that be petrifying, but he can not let you stop. Now now. Not when he had spent countless nights fucking his hand, hoping that it'd be your mouth one day. Now that it's happening, he can't let a second go to waste.
You gagged around his length, feeling the head of his dick hit the deepest parts of your throat. And what's crazy is how he isn't even fully in your mouth. There was still a couple inches left. That fact alone was you clenching around nothing. You could only imagine how he'd feel inside of you. He'd make you feel so full, so stuffed. You moan at the thought, sending vibrations into his dick that makes the boy rolls his eyes to the back of his head.
Jake, on the other hand, was reeling in the pleasure of having your warm, wet mouth around his cock. He moans into his palm, teeth sinking into the flesh to the point where he almost draws blood. It's surreal how your mouth makes him go fucking crazy. His head feels so light yet so heavy.
Your hands gripped the back of his thigh to steady yourself while pushing more of his dick down your throat for merely a couple of seconds before pulling away. You're gasping for air, perhaps you overestimated how much you could take him.
Jake nearly cums at the sight. Your chin is glistening while a string of saliva connects your lips to his raging red tip. He isn't sure what came over him at the moment, but he needed to feel your mouth around him again. He finds himself sliding a hand into your hair, grabbing a handful of it before shoving his dick past your swollen, pink lips and down your throat. "Fucking take it. Holy shit." He groans, mouth open with a mantra of your name spilling out.
You're blinking away the tears that pooled in your eyes, trying to focus on breathing through your nose while your best friend manhandles your mouth. This was a total 180 of how he usually is, and you loved it.
Everything about this was so lewd. The sounds of you gagging around his dick mixed with Jake moaning was music to your ears. You look up at him through your lashes, taking in how cute he looked in his specs while moaning your name.
"This mouth feels.. fuck. Feels so fucking good." Jake mutters, hips snapping against your face as he feels his high nearing. "G-Gonna cum down your throat. Sh-Shit, you're gonna take all of my fucking cum." He's just rambling now. Mind is too fucked to even think about anything else but cumming down your pretty little throat.
With one final thrust, his pelvis is flush against your face as he feels himself emptying his load down your throat. "Holy fuuuck.. Oh my god, Y/n."
You could only sit there and swallow everything he gave you. This is your way of repaying him.
He doesn't pull out till he feels himself going soft in your mouth. And he's quick to start apologizing once he does, "I-I'm so sorry, Y/n. I didn't even ask where you wanted me to cu–"
You're swatting your hands around, shaking your head as you swallow hard. "It's okay. I wanted it." Your voice is hoarse due to his assault on your throat. But you loved the result of it.
He helps you stand up before combing out the knot in your hair that he caused. "Well, the library is about to close for the night. We should get—"
"Do you want to come over to my place, Jakey?" You ask, holding his hands in yours.
He nearly chokes on his own saliva. "Uh,, y-yeah! We can!" He agrees, nodding almost frantically.
"I need help with biology. Specifically anatomy." You smile, trailing your finger down his chest.
"Yeah... I-I can help you." He whispers out.
"Yeah?" You giggle, pecking the corner of his mouth.
He'll help you with whatever it is if it means you'll repay him by giving him head.
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itmeansiris · 10 hours ago
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The Solar System Legacy Challenge: Cat's out the Bag Gen 1 pt.82
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After grabbing a bite to eat at the station the cab dropped the group off at the end of the street near the Gratz house. Mercury waited outside to give them a hand with the kids and the bags. Adrianne flew into M's arms the moment she saw her.
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Adrianne: Look Aunt Mercury, I can fly now!
M: My big girl! Oh my goodness, look at you flying. Look who else got their wings.
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Crimson: Hi Auntie Mercury.
He said sadly, his wings hung limply at his back.
M: What's the matter buddy?
Crimson: I haven't learned to fly yet. Mommy says my wings aren’t strong enough.
M: Well, you're a year younger than your sister, so I'm sure by next year, your wings will be sooo strong that you can fly from Newcrest all the way to Ravenwood.
As M talked to Crimson and Adrianne, Venus and Ishtar used the distraction to make a mess.
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Kason: Really guys? Now go inside and get changed so you can come back out and clean it up..
He shook his head dissappointed. They hung their heads as he walked them inside. M set down Adrianne and sent her and Crimson inside as well.
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Kason came back outside where M lingered and kissed her cheek.
Kason: How was your day?
M: Better now, but good overall. How was the city?
Kason: Good. They moved Geekcon to the Art District. They were having some kind of festival it looked different than I remember.
M: That sounds like fun. I'm glad you took the kids. Did they have fun?
Kason: Aren't you interested if I had fun?
He teased.
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M: I know you had fun. I just hope you behaved yourself. You and Peyton are trouble together at Geekcon.
Kason: All innocent fun I assure you love. I only like to get in trouble with you these days.
During their flirty exchange he realized now was the best time to tell her what he'd seen in San Myshuno, but he hadn't thought about what he would say so he started with simple part.
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Kason: I saw Beckett there.
M: Really? That loser, he didn't say he was going to Geekcon. I guess that's not surprising, he does live in the Art District. Did you say hi?
Kason: I didn't get a chance to. He was there with Maidson.
M: Madison? Madison Miller?
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She asked stunned. Kason nodded in silent confirmation. He waited for her to recover from the initial shock. She was quiet for a moment, he could see the information working in her brain and then realization crossed her face.
M: Madison is the mystery girl.
Kason: It would make sense. Why else would he be hiding her from you?
M: That's why he was annoyed earlier when I told him to invite her to the party. He didn't think he could.
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Kason looked at her with a curious expression. It was the first time they'd talked about Madison alone. When they'd spoken with Takara she'd assured them that Madison was harmless and apologetic. It seemed to appease have Mercury at the time and helped rid her of any lingering jealousy or ill feelings for Madison, but Kason wasn't sure how he felt. He knew Madison hadn't helped Paris and she'd never meant to keep their friendship a secret from him, but her mistakes had almost cost him his wife. That wasn't something you just got over. He didn't hate her, but that didn't mean he had to be her friend either.
Kason: Could he have? Invited her I mean, if you'd known earlier?
She paused giving it some thought.
M: Yes. I know you were angry with her for not telling you about Paris and well, I didn't know what to think of her, but did she really do anything to hurt us intentionally? I trust Takara and she trust Madison. So if Beckett had told me that she was his date I would have been okay with him bringing her. What good would it do to make them both pay for Paris's mess. I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable but I honestly think it would have been the right thing.
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Kason hadn't thought he could love her more and then she had proved her compassion and forgiveness went beyond anything he could have fathomed.
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Kason: How did we all get so lucky? I can agree, I was pretty hard on her without knowing all the facts. We all let Paris get in our heads and she got exactly what she wanted. The only person I trust with your safety as much as the people in that house right now is Takara. If she still thinks Madison isn't a problem then I can accept that.
M: I guess explains all his rambling earlier.
Kason: What do you mean?
M: Earlier, when he called me. I asked why they hadn't made it official, and Bek started acting weird. He said it was “complicated” and that “it was important that I like her”. He must think I hate her and won’t approve.
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She started to take out her phone and dial Becketts’ number but Kason stopped her.
Kason: It's getting late and he probably won't want to talk about it now after seeing me. Give him a chance to get his thoughts together and you guys can talk tomorrow. I'll even go and start setting up early just so you guys have time to talk.
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She fidgeted nearly giving in to the urge to call him right then.
M: You're right. Are you sure? No, you're right, I should give him some space. He said he wanted to talk in person...Right?
He smiled and led her towards the door.
Kason: Come on. I'll make you a cup of coffee and tell you about the trip.
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Previous Next
Beginning
Sidebar: If it feels like M didn’t fight the Madison situation very hard, it’s cause she didn’t. Madison was never the problem. She was a pawn in the game just like M and once Takara explained everything any ill feelings she carried towards Madison went bye-bye. Also, M is a people person, friendly and family-oriented and her original aspiration was friend of the world so it’s safe to say she’s pretty forgiving and wants to create peace between the people in her life even if it means having to deal with some uncomfortable situations.
Also, I know there's a lot of family dialogue recently but they haven't seen each other in so long It feels necessary to get caught up on their lives.
Last, I know I write the coffee line for Kason a bit. That's because Mercury has a crazy coffee addiction since she was in college and he's constantly making cups of coffee and leaving them in the kitchen I assume for her cause he never drinks them.
Poses: @starrysimsie Walkin' and talkin' & Hold me close
Build: @vellesa-well Central Railway station No CC
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griddleharkbrainrot · 1 day ago
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You have brought this upon yourselves
Tagging the people who reblogged this so they can read the final product: @commanderbabygirl @shoot-i-messed-up @kuronekofe-ao3 @yourinfernaimajesty @kneehighrainbowsocks @cipher-fresh @fashion-foxy
Before I begin I would like to clarify that this is about how Batman is a trans allegory, whether the character himself is or is not trans is up to the reader's interpretation.
First I would like to break down some key elements of the character Batman
Dresses up at night as a different persona, with a different name, voice, and clothing
Thinks of himself as Batman and states that Bruce Wayne is the alter ego and that he is Batman
He spends the day engaging in behaviors contrary to what he truly wishes to do so that people will not doubt his identity and realize that he is Batman
He does not want to act like playboy Bruce Wayne, even stating once that it makes him uncomfortable
He tries to hide being Batman from friends and family because he is afraid of how they will respond and if they will be safe
He views himself as a monster at times for identifying as this thing which is seen as not human
We sometimes see Batman fear that his parents would hate what he has become.
Some people consider Batman a corrupting influence and blame him for Gotham’s problems
Now that we have broken down some key aspects of what makes Batman himself, I would like to tell you a story and let you draw the parallels.
TW Transphobia in the deep south
Sally is a young girl who lives in Alabama. Deep country Alabama where they shoot you if you’re queer cause they can’t have you corrupting the children. Most people don’t call her Sally, they call her Alexander, a name that isn’t hers but she can’t tell them that because it isn’t safe to do so. What if they tell someone else and the secret gets out? What if they accept her but someone finds out they knew and didn’t tell and they shoot them both together? It's far too dangerous for them to know so Sally lets them call her the wrong name even as something chips and breaks in her chest. But at night she is free; in the nearby town there is a bar she likes to sneak out to where she can dress as herself and be known by her own name. For some of the others they like to dress as women for fun and Sally can understand that but for her it's not just a night out, this is her real life. There is a whole other world out there for her at night of people who can truly be themselves. Some are brave enough to be the same person during the day and the night but Sally doesn’t have that option. It isn’t safe for her out here, and so to ward off suspicion Sally buzzes her hair when she wants to shave it out, lowers her voice when she wants to raise it, and dresses hypermasculine because this is the armor she must wear to avoid suspicion. Her parents make her go to church every Sunday and the pastor likes to give speeches about the monsters in the night who are “unnatural and against god”. He warns against the devils who will corrupt you and turn your good-natured children into f*gg*ts. Sally shrinks in her seat while he preaches, knowing that the monster he speaks of is her. Her mother puts a reassuring arm on her shoulder, thinking that the reason Sally is frightened is because she does not want the so-called devils to take her, not knowing her child is one of them. Sally wonders if her mother would hate her if she knew what she was. A mother is supposed to love their children unconditionally, but after all, there is no hate like Christian love.
Apologies if that was triggering for anyone, but I needed to tell it so that you could properly understand. It is not my story (although I did write it) but the story of many young trans people in areas where it is not safe for them to be out of the closet.
Let’s review the previously established characteristics of Batman and draw parallels to the story above and the experience of being trans as a whole.
Dresses up at night as a different persona, with a different name, voice, and clothing
Need I say anything?
Thinks of himself as Batman and states that Bruce Wayne is the alter ego and that he is Batman
I am newname not deadname
He spends the day engaging in behaviors contrary to what he truly wishes to do so that people will not doubt his identity and realize that he is Batman
Protective hypermasculinization/hyperfeminization
He tries to hide being Batman from friends and family because he is afraid of how they will respond and if they will be safe
Not safe to be out as trans and afraid people won’t acccept you
He views himself as a monster at times for identifying as this thing which is seen as not human
Internalized transphobia
We sometimes see Batman fear that his parents would hate what he has become.
Fear that your parents won't accept you as trans
Some people consider Batman a corrupting influence and blame him for Gotham’s problems
The ridiculous idea that transgender people are corrupting children
Let me know if I missed anything or if there are any inconsistencies. Additions are welcome to this post! I am not a batman expert but what little I know was drawing obvious parallels to being trans and so I had to share this mess that has been rattling around in my brain
You guys aren't ready for my analysis on Batman as a trans allegory
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psychoticwillgraham · 1 year ago
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just remembered a short horror story that i wrote in 9th grade (which is unfortunately lost to time now) that my English teacher was obsessed with and tried to enter it in a statewide writing competition for me but they rejected it bc it was obviously about a lesbian couple.
basically the only restrictions were no curse words except for hell and damn and it couldn’t be extremely gory which was definitely a challenge for me bc that’s when i started writing rlly gory stuff.
basically it was about a lesbian couple (they were married even tho gay marriage wasn’t legal yet but this is fiction so.) who got separated during the zombie apocalypse. the main girl, the protag, was able to get back to their house in time to board it up but her wife was still at work and had called her to warn her about the zombies. she said she was fine and not to worry because ‘I’ll always come home, no matter what’ and when she hung up the phone, she said ‘I love you, and I’ll see you soon’ even tho the protag already knew her wife was fucked bc she couldn’t leave the workplace due to the lockdown.
so basically the protag reflects on their life together, already knowing that her wife is probably dead already and was as soon as she hung up the phone. it gets real emotional and she goes through her wife’s things to pick which stuff she’ll take with her, and starts packing.
near the end, it had to be like 2k words or less so it was short, she hears the front door creak open, and immediately grabs her gun and runs to the living room. at first, she assumes that it’s her wife and that she’s ok. then as her wife shuffles in, protag realizes it’s her and gets excited for a moment, until she sees her face. her wife had already turned and walked all that way from her job just to see her partner. the protag then loses her shit and lowers the gun, running towards her zombie wife who hasn’t made any moves to lunge at her and eat her yet, and embraces her, knowing that she’ll probably be eaten by her eventually. and even if she was going to die, she wanted to die in her wife’s arms.
her zombie wife hesitates for a moment, looking like she’s about to bite the protag, but instead hugs back, and that’s when the protag’s decision is made for her. she kisses her wife one last time, steps back, and shoots her. she drags her to their bed and tucks her in one last time, then says her prayers and kills herself right next to her wife. and in the end, her wife kept her promise.
she’d always come home, no matter what
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lollytea · 7 months ago
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I need to watch Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure to reach my final conclusion on if she's even attracted to men
#girl help i keep thinking about sharpay and ryan being each others only friend growing up#theyre not very good at interpersonal relationships#romance is foreign to them. they dont care about playing romantic interests because they only view romance through the lens of theatre#fake. not real. an act to entertain an audience. so they dont understand why it would be weird#neither of them have ever kissed anyone#sharpay likes things that make her look better#because her whole life is a performance#so she wants troy because hes a shiny accessory to her#thinking about hsm 2 where once again when she tries to perform a romantic song (with troy this time and not her brother)#she still barely fucking looks at him#all of her attention is on the (nonexistent) audience#and ryan. ryan hm#ryan usually performs alongside sharpay#its usually an in universe performance. theyre on a stage. theres an audience#and all of his attention is on pleasing that audience#an exception to this is during the gay baseball song#where theres a different kind of audience BUT#ryan barely looks at them#most of his attention is directed solely to chad#talking flirting teasing being cocky and annoying but clearly addressing him directly through most of the song#first time this has happened with ryan. take that as you will#ANYWAY i can see sharpay as completely uninterested in romance but she hasnt realized that about herself#and she THINKS she wants it. because she sees it as glamorous#or maybe shes a lesbian i dont know#she might be a lesbian#the deciding factor is sharpays fabulous adventure#if she has chemistry with the guy in that movie then shes just repressed and clueless#if she doesnt shes aro#or possibly lesbian
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onewordshy · 2 months ago
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youtube
Wish I could bottle the feeling this gives me
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youremyonlyhope · 7 months ago
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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infizero · 1 year ago
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cant stopthinking about betty
#^ another post thats rlly funny with my current pfp. canon#anyways its genuinely terminal#i cant remember if ive already said this but i think its cause even tho i know for a fact i mustve watched episodes with her in it#because my brother says we did when we watched it as kids. i had ZERO memory of ever witnessing anything to do with her#other than ofc like. holly jolly secrets LOL but that doesnt count#i only knew of that stuff secondhand during the period where i was kind of just occasionally hearing about the show as it aired when i#wasnt watching it. so basically while i already kind of knew what happened. this is me experiencing her as a character and her plotline#essentially for the first time. and realizing ohmy god shes the best character ever. holy fawk.......................#i only just started my at rewatch and i just started s2#but before that i had skimmed thru a guy's reactions to the full series which led to me watching her episodes for the first time. and MAN.#man. i love her somsuchh oh my god. BETTYYYYYTHAHRAHGHRHGRHRGHRGH#when the character is loving to the point of unhealthy obsession and sacrificing their entire life for the other person#that shit is like cocaine to me#rlly rlly hoping that f&c addresses how crazy and fucked her constantly sacrificing everything for simon is#literally GO TO THERAPY GIRL. GO TO CHAOS GOD THERAPY.#but then again. if she went to therapy she wouldnt be a cool wizard. so maybe its not worth it#also i love a good ''normal average human character slowly becoming less and less human until they are unrecognizable''#serena.txt
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woolydemon · 2 years ago
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rereading this ninja.go fic wip I have and god I need to finish this it's good
#i think it's good at least#its a nya/pixal fic from the perspective of pixal and ogh i forgot how much i was digging this shit#i am still digging it#its a robot girl that gained the ability to love but then couldnt act on those feelings when she was stuck as an ai program and mwah#the yearning is palable#i swear i was intensely facisnated by this concept when i was first rewatching the show#& it gets to the part where nya encounters her as samurai x#AND PIXAL. QUOTES NYA. SHE LITERALLY QUOTES HER ''a girls gotta have her secrets''#and u know what. nya says that line during their first encounter with each other after pixal becomes sentient#she. internalized that this whole time LIKE ARE U KIDDING ME do u know what that fact did to my brain structure#makes me insane. the romance between these lego girls can mean something so personal#and i realize how batshit i sound now that i acknowledge thta theyre legos akdgdkhclchclcjc#ok but. consider this. lesbian robot :] thats pretty sick dawg#i havent caught up to the seasons past s13 though so if theres more samuraiship moments pls let me know its so important to me#but i am also scared that something in those new seasons might fuck up my mostly canon compliance that i have in my fic so far#so i am looking away atm#but i might give into temptation for the lava moments ive been hearing are in those new seasons. girl i love lavaship those are my boys#ok thats the ninja.go thoughts i have until i inevitably give into the lego brain disease again one day. it will happen#rando thoughtz
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areislol · 5 months ago
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being transported into their world
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►— pairings. honkai star rail men x gn! creator! reader
►— warnings. nothing really, not proof read 🙅🏻‍♀️, caelus is the trailblazer, romantic but you can see it was platonic if you want to! girls in the astral express are mentioned for a bit, i mentioned both dan heng and imbibitor lunae so don't mind that! mentions of self attempt/bodily harm for blade, boothill is ooc probably, spoilers of penacony quest, skipping herta space station (will be mentioned in other chapters though!), sahau (self aware honkai au)
►— synopsis. their beloved creator, the one who created many worlds, including theirs, had yet to return after thousands of years. but lately, they've been experiencing strange things, feeling like a heavenly, divine figure loomed over them. could it possibly be their one and only creator?
►— a/n. i've been thinking about a self-aware au but a honkai star rail version for a couple of weeks now after my reverse isekai'd genshin sagau series. also this may be a bit biased towards dang feng (imbibitor lunae) because uh i like him, maybe you can tell?
►— wordcount. 4.5k
part 2
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for days they've felt uncomfortable, well, slightly. it only began to happen a couple of months ago when they felt as if something, no... someone was controlling their every movement and choice.
during their adventures, they felt an unsettling sensation creep upon them like a shadow in the night—a feeling of being watched, of a presence looming over their every move.
the presence was overwhelming, their body would stiffen, and they felt as if something like a heavy, invisible blanket was casted upon them.
at first, the passengers in the astral express dismissed it as mere paranoia, attributing it to the heightened tension of their journey or maybe the warping effects in the train. but as days passed and the sensation persisted, they couldn't shake off the unnerving feeling that they were not alone, that someone or something was observing their every action.
at times, they would catch fleeting whispers carried by the wind, faint voices that echoed in the corners of their minds. yet, despite their efforts, they could never make out the words, the words slipping through their grasp like elusive dreams.
as the feeling grew more pronounced, thoughts began to gnaw at their consciousness. who or what could possibly be speaking to them? why is it that every now and then they would feel a sudden boost and surge of power?
they knew deep down that the only being in the universe could make them feel that was,it could be no other than their creator.
the mere thought that their creator was dropping hints of their arrival was exciting. and only when the astral express crew noticed how each and every one of them felt the same exact things—looking around the moment they heard a voice, their body in sync as they tensed up... it was all too coincidental not to notice.
as they talked with one another and pieced the puzzle pieces together, using the information they found along the way travelling to each region, it all became clear.
it was a pivotal moment in their journey, the truth was revealed. in a flash of realization, they discovered that the presence they felt, the elusive voice they heard, was none other than their creator—the architect of their existence, the mastermind behind their trials and tribulations.
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dan heng, himeko, welt, march and caelus had a hunch that it was their beloved creator, it couldn't be anyone else. everything added up, everything made sense. they acted like mad scientists, scurrying to their rooms and digging around every nook and cranny of their room, finding any evidence and papers that mentioned you, the creator.
as they all met up back on the train they carefully placed each and every newspaper and article about you. they had to make sure that it was really you. some of the articles that dan heng bought were from way back, thousands of years ago, he refused to tell anyone where he had gotten them from.
"in the vast expanse of the universe, where time flowed like a meandering river and galaxies danced in an eternal cosmic ballet, there existed a being unlike any other—a being known simply as a creator. born out of the primordial chaos, the creator was a solitary entity who traversed the endless void, seeking purpose in a universe devoid of meaning.
for millennia, the creator roamed the expanse, witnessing the birth and death of stars, the rise and fall of civilizations, and the ebb and flow of cosmic energies. yet, amidst the vastness of space and time, the creator found itself consumed by an overwhelming sense of ennui, a profound boredom that gnawed at their very essence.
then, the creator embarked on a journey of creation—a quest to fill the void with worlds of its own design, to sculpt realities from the raw clay of the cosmos. with a mere thought, the creator breathed life into barren planets, adorned them with oceans and mountains, and populated them with a myriad of creatures both strange and wondrous.
as creator delved deeper into their newfound passion, they discovered a love for the act of creation—a love that transcended time and space, a passion that ignited a fire within its soul. with each world it fashioned, each story it crafted, the creator found solace in the act of shaping reality, in the sheer joy of bringing something new into existence.
for six thousand years, the creator laboured tirelessly, weaving tapestries of worlds and galaxies, each one a testament to its boundless imagination and creative prowess. from the smallest blade of grass to the mightiest empires, the creator poured their heart and soul into every facet of creation, infusing each world with a unique charm and character all its own.
yet, amidst the infinite expanse of its creations, the creator remained a solitary figure—a godlike being adrift in a sea of its own making, forever yearning for companionship in a universe devoid of peers. and so, the creator continued their eternal quest, weaving worlds out of boredom and growing a love and passion for creation that would endure for eternity. and we, this universe, was crafted by none other than the creator, the place we call home. it is said that only after six thousand will the creator return to us, to watch over us once more."
the article itself looked worn, it wasn't signed by anyone, and no one knew who wrote it, or how they got the information. but it seemed plausible. millenniums... it has been well over six thousand years, it was about time the creator descended.
they had to be prepared, they had to tell the rest of their friends and families, the world. as much as they would like to keep the information to themselves they knew that you deserved a much better, bigger and more beautiful welcome.
sampo, gepard and luka were more than stunned and nervous, to say the least. their creator... was finally returning back? upon hearing the news from caelus they were sceptical at first, deep down they really wanted to see you in your glory, to finally meet the creator, but at the same time, it was nerve-wracking.
what should they say? what should they do in preparation and celebration? what gifts and offers should they give to you? nothing would do. they were positive that anything they bought, even if it got them in debt, would suffice. you deserved more than a measly couple of dishes and the most delicate and fitting garnets.
it was embarrassing really, their hearts racing as they tried their best to think of what to bring to your feet. but one thing they all had in common was their loyalty to you. if it was their life you wanted then so be it.
sampo is sampo, he was sure that his creator's glory and attractiveness were over the top, he would be sure to compliment you as many times as his mouth could allow, but he was sure that your beauty would be intimidating. no matter your looks your presence was more than enough.
gepard is nervous. his mind is full of "what ifs" and "what should i.." not even his sister can calm him down. every morning and night when he closes his eyes he's anticipating the day his sister barges into his room, yelling that the creator had finally descended. although he isn't quite sure of what to offer you he knows that whenever you need him, whatever you call him for he will be there in less than a minute, by your side or feet if you prefer.
whatever you ask of him, whatever favour you need from, he will never say no.
luka on the other hand is absolutely pumped to meet you! he had heard stories of you when he was a child, and from the stories told by the adults they described you as a kind being, who soon fell in love with the art, beauty and joy of creating. well, their most favourite was creating worlds.
he was absolutely sure that you would be the most kindest, heavenly person he had ever met, what was there to worry about now? luka knew that if he ever laid eyes on you he would fall in love no doubt, he would do anything for you. maybe you would agree to watch his wrestling matches?
jing yuan, blade, imbibitor lunae, and luocha are the most excited of all, sure, everyone is elated to finally meet you with their very own eyes. but them? oh lord... they all believe to be your worshipper, having heard tales of you from their parents, this alone caused them to be awe and love-struck with you.
they were a firm believer in you, you did no wrong in their eyes. all your actions and words were justified. they followed your principles, they made sure to announce their presence every time they came to your altar and placed down the most expensive jewels, dishes and gifts. (they had a shrine of you at home don't worry)
jing yuan was the one of the firsts to get hints that you were finally returning, the divine foresight fu xuan always looked so weary and cautious, but as time grew she began to be more... happy and elated, yet everytime he questioned her she was tense up and smile like it was nothing. and only when he pried did she say that she saw things, saw a blurred face, and heard a voice. "don't be alarmed... i'm here to tell you that.."
he made sure that everyone who worked under him and every prominent person knew of this, he began to make preparations of your arrival, he cancelled all meetings and plans, only focusing on you and your arrival. everything had to be perfect. he had even forgotten about the wanted criminal blade. jing yuan booked the most fanciest restaurant for a month max, he wasn't sure when you were coming, of course, so a month it was.
jing yuan prepared every entertainment and paid the orchestra, he wanted everything to be perfect, even the most minuscule details.
blade's loyalty was and is only for you and only you. he may be cold and stone-hearted (we all know it's false) but if it's you... whatever you ask for he will do it no doubt. he refuses to take orders from a stranger even if it is his friend, but if it's you? say no more. blade knew you were a kind soul, you needed protection from the other so-called "enemies" (he proclaimed it!).
he swore that you saved his life, years ago when everything was tumbling down, when his feelings got the better of him, he tried doing the unthinkable, as he blacked out he suddenly "saw" something.. a beacon of light, it was magical and airy, he tried his best to grasp onto the light but obviously could not.
it floated further and further away, and he followed it, his eyes glued only on the beacon of light. as it stopped moving, so did he, he continued staring at the light as it shrank into a ball, it didn't speak, it didn't look anywhere, it stayed there. suddenly he woke up, his chest heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath. what was that?
sweat clung to his forehead when jingliu found him, concerned she rushed over to him, he refused to say a single word. he was left perplexed. what was the ball of light? why did he feel so at ease? why did it only appear after he...
he would make it his mission to meet you before the rest do other than the astral express crew and become your bodyguard, even if you deny his offer he will stick with you no matter what. of course, he would respect your boundaries but he knew that you didn't have the heart to deny anyone, especially your creation.
imbibitor lunae absolutely adores you, even if he was reincarnated the memories still pass on. and the tales being told by the grown-ups were famous around his area and still is. from the earliest days of his existence, tales of the creator had woven themselves into the fabric of his consciousness, painting a portrait of a being of boundless kindness and infinite compassion.
as a child, imbibitor lunae had listened with rapt attention to stories passed down through generations, tales of the creator's benevolence and the miracles they wrought upon the world. and in the quiet moments of the night, he would gaze up at the starry expanse above, whispering prayers to the creator, his heart overflowing with admiration and reverence.
when news of the creator's imminent return after six thousand years reached his ears, his heart soared with unbridled joy. in no time he set about preparing for your arrival, pouring his heart and soul into crafting the perfect gifts to present to his divine benefactor.
drawing inspiration from the tales of old, he fashioned intricate trinkets and tokens of his affection, each one imbued with his unwavering devotion and love. amidst the swirling maelstrom of feelings, one thing remained constant: his unwavering love for the creator.
imbibitor swore that once he felt or sensed a sign that would be arriving he would immediately act, he would be the first to meet and lay his eyes on your divine figure. slap him as many times as you want if you found it rude, he would only thank you.
luocha, despite remaining calm and composed on the outside, internally, he was freaking OUT. luocha found himself grappling with a myriad of conflicting thoughts and emotions. on one hand, he felt a profound sense of excitement at the prospect of meeting the creator, the architect of his existence and the source of all that he held dear.
yet, on the other hand, he couldn't shake off the nagging feeling of inadequacy, the fear of not being able to live up to your expectations.
his mind raced with a flurry of possibilities. what gifts would you appreciate? what could he offer to express his gratitude and reverence for the being who had breathed life into his world? with each passing moment, the weight of the impending meeting pressed down upon him like a heavy burden, filling him with a sense of anxiety.
despite his inner turmoil, luocha maintained a facade of calm and composure, determined not to let his anxieties show. with a steely resolve, he set about meticulously planning and preparing for your arrival, carefully considering every detail in his quest to find the perfect gift.
he even resorted to asking the children about what gifts he should bring, and yes, they did laugh at him but helped him nonetheless.
from ornate trinkets to rare treasures, luocha spared no effort in his search for the ideal offering, pouring his heart and soul into each carefully chosen item. yet, even as he laboured tirelessly to ensure that everything was perfect, doubts continued to gnaw at the edges of his mind, although one thing was for sure, if you didn't like any of his gifts he wouldn't be upset rather, maybe all you wanted was his whole body and life, and he would not hesitant once to give it up for you.
they all couldn't wait to meet you.
aventurine, sunday, gallagher and boothill are freaking out. horribly. mainly aventurine.. once the news had reached them from the astral express that it was possible (about 98%) that you were the comet arriving in a week... oh boy were they NERVOUS. everything HAD to be perfect. they had everything to thank you for, during their life and death situation they were lucky enough to survive—thanks to you.
it was only natural to return the favour, you created them, their personality, their arms, legs, their body, you sculpted their face, you made them. you made the very world they live in right now, the world they call home... they were sure you were by their side, making them make the right decisions and the right thing. aventurine? oh, the amount of MONEY he will spend buying everything he thinks you'd like, the fanciest, most elegant and most expensive shoes, clothing and accessories. he would rent out an entire week or months of work at a restaurant if you'd like to dine alone or with a couple of people. he knows his luck is a part of him, he can only pray that he'll meet you first with his luck.
sunday... just the sound of your name makes him tear up. he could've sworn that one time you spoke to him, your other-worldly echoing voice speaking to him directly about the loss of his dear sister. and here he stood in his room, looking out the window, and in the far distant a light shimmering as it swiftly dived down. a shooting star. he knows that with everyone getting the news they're all aiming to be the first to meet you, and trust me, he does want to meet you FIRST. the second you land he'll be there right with you and guiding you to safety—penacony.
but first, he must pinpoint where exactly you'll land. and with his power and influence he will most definitely try his best to find you and be sure to hide you from everyone else... he needs you, desperately.
gallagher and boothill have exactly the same thoughts. to present themselves good to you and spend every minute and second with you. but with everyone gossiping and spreading rumours about your arrival it's hard to be unique. everyone wants to be with you, everyone wants your favour. but they could never worship you as much as them. they had dreamed of this moment, it seemed unreal to meet their own creator but nonetheless, they clung to their hope and boy did it not go to waste.
boothill basically pauses any mission he needs to complete, that can wait. you are eternal. he's practically on edge with the fact that at any moment the comet would crash through and there you'd be, dozing peacefully.. like an angel. he won't hesitate to cause some trouble or initiate some violence if it means that they don't get to see you first.
gallagher on the other hand tries to stay hidden and in the shadows. of course, he'd like to meet you face to face but with the feeling of an overwhelming and looming divine presence, it's all too much. and if that's too much then what would he feel when you stand right before him? he's like an overprotective dog, fiercely loyal and clingy. even if you can't spot him he'll be right there, lurking and watching.
dr. ratio and argenti are absolutely and 100% loyal and would do EVERYTHING in their power to meet you, even a glance would do, anything to feed their curiosity and desperate need to know the creator. so when they get wind that you were supposedly descending down... they freeze on the spot, their breath hitches as their eyes widen. could it really be?
dr. ratio was always a curious boy, and he has you to thank for giving him consciousness and the opportunities to venture out and earn knowledge and eventually spreading his knowledge to his students (preaching i guess you can say). he's a bit biased when it comes to talking about you to his friends or students, and speaking your name in a more positive light, not that anyone minds, if anything they agree!
although he isn't much of a gifter or "i'll spend my money on you" he's more of a "anything you want just tell me". if you told him to drop his precious books to come and tend to your needs he would do it in a heartbeat.
to argenti you are the standard and epitome of "beauty". the beauty he has been searching for his entire life. he intends to shower you with compliments and roses freshly picked by hand unless you're allergic or not a fan of flowers, fear not! compliments should do! be ready to be bombarded with such positivity, compliments and gifts from the knight of beauty.
anything you wish for he will try his utmost best to get it done perfectly and quickly. "your hair looks so pretty like this..." say no more, he will always style it and keep it exactly like that! "my feet feel so sore from all the walking" ?!!? why is his dear walking anyway!?!? don't worry, he'll massage it for you! "ugh all this work is making me tired" move aside, let him do the honours!!
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It was a long ride home from work, you were currently in an almost empty bus, glancing over the top of your phone you read the time. 11 P.M.
Was it that late already? You knew this office job would be the death of you. You never wanted to work at a place like this, the cubicle life bored you and it was just so... depressing. That was the only way to describe it.
You decide to pass the time by playing your all-time favourite game: Honkai: Star Rail. The soft glow of the screen illuminated your face as you began to grind relics and exp for an upcoming character. It definitely worked in keeping you busy and awake as time passed by slowly.
All was well, everything was fine. You had everything planned in your head. Get home as soon as possible, take a nice warm and rejuvenating shower, get five hours of sleep, go back to work and repeat.
The more you thought about your daily routine the more you realised how depressing it was, but what could you do? That job was the only one that was hiring and had average pay and things like that are rare, especially when you decided to live in the city which was your first mistake.
You were barely getting by in the city, the crime rate increased, there were more breaks in, pickpocketing and murder. But despite all of that you decided to rent an apartment where it was less populated, the rent in the heart of the city was way too high.
Pushing all those thoughts and information aside you let out a defeated sigh, leaning your head on the window as you continued to tap away on your phone.
If only life went just a little bit easier on you.
Everything was fine. The silence was comfortable and the low, soft rumble of the engine kept you awake, until a loud deafening crash jolted the bus, sending people flying and falling onto the ground.
Letting out a scream you grabbed onto whatever you could to keep you steady—the head of the chair in front of you. Although it didn't do a good job of keeping you still you couldn't care less, because as you lifted your head, your eyes caught something massive charging straight at you, and before you could react, a blinding light engulfed you, followed by an eerie silence.
When you regained consciousness, you found yourself tightly packed against something dark and rocky. Just great! Something had happened to the bus and knocked you out.
You looked around, it was pure blackness, like a void. Maybe this was what happened after death... Out of all things and especially the time too!
Feeling confused and scared you try to move your body to shift into a more comfortable position but due to the lack of space, you could barely even move an inch.
Suddenly, a crack was heard. And you froze.
Then another crack, and another, the darkness began to crack and splinter and not long after half of the egg-shaped looking ball broke in half as it fell to the side.
Shards of obsidian-like material fractured and scattered around. A large amount of dust, and shiny glitter-like specs flew everywhere, it was extremely dusty.
Unfortunately, you inhaled the smoke, coughing and sputtering, you waved their hand in front of your face, trying to dispel the particles as you squinted against the harsh light that slipped through the smoke.
As the dust settled and the steam dissipated, your surroundings gradually came into focus. You found yourself in front of... one, two, three, four, and... five.... wait.. what?
Right before you stood four male figures (with the other seemed to have a more feminine build), male figures that looked awfully familiar to you for some odd reason, just why was that?
You were confused and curious as you surveyed your surroundings, realizing that maybe this was death? You would've never guessed that "life" after death would look like this. It was very.... interesting.
The buildings that surrounded you were intricate and otherworldly. Dazzling celestial landscapes and luminescent structures piqued your interest as you slowly and carefully stepped out of what you assumed was a shell.
Its' architect and infrastructure reminded you of something, it seemed nostalgic—as if you've seen this exact building before. The more you observed and watched, your eyes tracing every precise curve and detail of the buildings your heart began to pick up its pace.
Your eyes searched every corner and inch, and finally, it landed back on the five figures you had spotted before and it wasn't until you caught sight of familiar faces that you were certain that you had to be hallucinating somehow after death.
There, standing in a circle, were figures that you could hardly believe were real: Caelus, Dan Heng, Gepard, and Bronya. It was unmistakably them.
Their presence, their unmistakable aura of reverence, left you no doubt.
They watched you, their gazes filled with awe and admiration as if you were the embodiment of some long-awaited prophecy (and in this case, it was).
You were in disbelief. Disbelief that you had somehow been transported into the very game they were playing moments ago, but now they were tangible, real.
It was a long silence, it was both comfortable and uncomfortable with their longing gaze. You remained still as you checked around your surroundings once again before settling your eyes back on the group of people.
At your gaze they felt a shiver down their spine, and the hair on their skin stood up.
"W—Who are you guys?!" You yelled, narrowing your eyes to see if it was truly the characters from the game you adored.
Dan Heng's breath hitched at the sound of your booming voice, your voice... it was just like how they described what you would sound like in the carved stones and ancient scrolls.
The more he stared at you the more he wanted to come to you, to kneel down at your feet and profess how long he has been waiting for this moment.
With his eyes trained on your figure, he steps closer, Gepard notices and swiftly stops him from moving any further with his arm. Dan Heng looks to his side, confusion strewn on his face.
Not a single word was spoken yet with a stern gaze and the shake of a head, Dan Heng understood. Now was not the right time.
Minutes passed by in complete and utter silence, it unnerved you. Why were they so quiet? So watchful?
Finally, after what felt like hours, the silence was broken just with a couple words.
"We have been awaiting your arrival, Your Gracefulness."
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note: after 5 months WOW. i've been so busy with things i haven't had the time to really sit down and work. I'm so sorry everyone!
tags 🏷️: @tomansimp @one-offmind @miitchiji @dainsleif-when-playable @momoewn @stygianoir @irethepotato @imetsk @fiannee @sunnyf4lls @goldenglow149 @rhwm @urlocalheizousimp @saltylovetale-blog @toramune @oreo-ren @backintomykpopphaseagain @serenity-loves-red @flooofity @minteasketches @yurassia @chellazhef @fulldoves @kateybuggi @wanderingconstellations @mini-shower @160ccm @rosariashield @sickize @sarah22447 @dreamlessnight @gimmealmap @bebeluvs @caramelstarlight @sukiidreams @oceanist @achy-boo @alhaitie @dilucragnvindr-my-beloved @that-mom-friend @v-ish @merormerry @gojoulen03 @scarletttcrow @hadischara @kithewanderingme @keiqq @livelaughlovekuni @chirikoheina @wr1t3rfum1k0 @issacdaholi @yu-ulda @alysinbshsu @vanilla-sweets @your-local-reblogging-kazoo @be-gay-do-crime-ahaha @seipaws @clavichordcleffa @uhhhiwassup @youdontneedyoknowlol @the-lazy-perfectionist @issacdarknight @lucienbarkbark @bizzybkd @obliviousariies2007 @coffee-seed
(if the usernames aren’t highlighted that’s because I can’t tag you so I’ll dm you when I post a new chapter! if i forgot to tag you im so sorry!)
for those i've taged: if you do not want to tagged for hsr drop a comment or message me.
liking + following + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!!
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saeist · 5 months ago
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what are we? ── bakugo k. (1.4k)⊹ ࣪ ˖ part two
"so.. who here has a secret boyfriend we don't know about?" mina asks the first thing that came to mind not even a minute after this impromptu slumber party that's currently held in yaoyorozu's room
after a long week of training and pro hero studies, you lot decided to why not unwind by having a little sleepover at one of the girls' rooms. yaoyorozu was kind enough to volunteer to hold it in her room as she has never experienced sleepovers with others
you all looked at each other with curiosity. curious if anyone was actually in a committed relationship that the class didn't know about. not like it was their business or anything..
"what? nobody? that's kinda hard to believe.." hagakure comments, genuinely surprised since usually at this age where everyone is in high school, you're bound to get into relationships
"i mean it's like we have the time to mingle around since we're busy with training and on top of that, trying to keep afloat with our academics" tsuyu points out, a finger on her chin as she recalls if anyone actually had free time to spare amidst all the chaos your class has been through
hearing what tsuyu said, mina whines, dramatically flailing her arms around
"ugh i hate that what you said is true, tsuyu-chan.. but what about crushes! do you guys have a crush on anyone in class or anyone in ua?" mina continues to bombard everyone with questions related to romance. to you it almost feels targeted because you're not too sure if she knows something about you
"crushes?" uraraka trails off. all of a sudden she shakes her head vigorously.
"what's wrong uraraka-chan?" tsuyu asks, worried
"oh my god! are you crushing on someone?!" hagakure squeals, "you have someone in mind don't you!"
the girls (minus you, tsuyu and yaoyorozu) start to bombard her with questions
"is it midoriya?!"
"is it iida?!"
"who?!"
"it's nobody!" uraraka defends herself, shaking her hands around. mina pouts but drops the subject.
you didn't even realize that you were holding in your breath til jirou points it out
"what's with the sigh of relief, y/n?" jirou pokes your side jokingly.
wrong move on your part
suddenly there was a certain glint on mina's eyes. like you just walked into her trap
"you haven't said anything since we started talking about crushes, y/n-chan.. anyone in mind?" mina grins mischievously.
"no one" you say abruptly but it turns out your own body betrays you. you can literally feel the heat creeping up to your cheeks
"oh my god she's blushing! WHO! IS IT IN OUR CLASS OR CLASS B? WHO?! WE NEED TO KNOW" hagakure squeals in joy, suddenly clasping your hands together as she shakes you
"it's nobody you guys-"
"i've been meaning to ask, y/n-san.. if there's anything going on between you and bakugo-san" yaoyorozu speaks up for the first time tonight
mina and hagakure both scream in delight
"what makes you say that, yaomomo?" you ask, trying to calm your heartbeat at the mention of the boy you think you're seeing..
you and bakugo had a weird, for lack of better word, "relationship" going on at the moment. one would call it a situationship but you're still not 100% sure if it's even heading to that direction
it all started after the provisional license exams. the same night where he and deku had a brawl at ground beta. right after bakugo and deku got dismissed by aizawa, you bumped into him in the kitchen. obviously scared out of your wits that he was looking all beaten up, you brought him to the nearest bathroom to clean his cuts and bruises
since then you and him had found yourselves in this weird "relationship". sure, he's still the same bakugo you first met during the first day of classes. always brash and rowdy but when it was only the two of you.. he was.. a littler calmer than usual
to others, he was his usual explosive self but when it came to you, his tone would be a little softer. still, it's still rough around the edges but the subtle change is noticeable if you were a close friend of his
overtime, you and bakugo slowly became touchy with each other. there were lingering stares, lingering touches when you two were paired up to spar during training and what not
obviously with this sudden change of attitude towards you, the whole class noticed it. why were you getting treated differently by the king explosion god himself?
and before you even noticed it, you found yourself almost by his side at all times in the dorms. may it be in the kitchen where you're basically his second in command when he was in charge of cooking, in the lounge whenever everyone decides to have a little movie marathon or a little celebration, literally everywhere to the point everyone had made assumptions that you two have something going on
have you guys said anything about your little situation? no
have you guys shared a kiss? maybe
have you guys been caught holding hands? definitely. on multiple occasions
but nobody dared to question it. or else they would've been blown away by boom boom boy himself.
that is until, the girls found an opening which was tonight at yaoyorozu's room, in the middle of your slumber party
"i didn't mean to eavesdrop that one time but i overheard you giving him your notes when he was under house arrest for a few days" yaoyorozu sheepishly admits. she suddenly clasps her hands together and bows as she spews apologies for eavesdropping that one time
and like a domino effect, it seems like all the girls have noticed something about the two of you all along
"that reminds me! when we were practicing for the school festival, one time i saw bakugo teaching y/n how to play drums!" jirou quips
"did you guys notice the look on bakugo's face during the joint training with class 1-b when she got hit by gevaudan?! he was pissed!" uraraka adds
"don't think we didn't notice the look you have on your face whenever bakugo comes home from their remedial classes" hagakure teases
"god i've been dying to know! kirishima keeps telling me that he hears bakugo laughing to himself late at night at times now it's all clicking!" mina gushes
all this time you thought you and bakugo hid it well. then again it's like you two even had the chance to properly talk about whatever you two have going on
"so what do you have to say for yourself, y/n-chan? or cat got your tongue?" mina teases, nudging your shoulder
all the girls lean forward, awaiting for your answer
"... we're friends- yeah that's right! we're just friends you guys" you say awkwardly, scratching the back of your head as a nervous habit to top it all off
mina and hagakure don't buy it
"that's not very nice of you to deny your boyfriend like that" mina teases, poking you multiple times in hopes you break (you almost do)
not wanting to say anything else that could potentially jinx whatever you have going on with the blonde, you shrug. it might be a little embarrassing on your end to admit that you and the infamous bakugo katsuki were in a little dilemma you call a situationship
sensing that you weren't gonna budge anytime soon, mina moves on with the subject. talking about what quirks they wished they have from the class
you took this time to pull out your phone and send a little update to your.. friend
[9:24PM] you: so the girls asked me if i had a boyfriend.. [9:24PM] kitkats: and what did u say?? [9:25PM] you: i said no lol cus i dont have one [9:26PM] kitkats: ?? [9:26PM] kitkats: so am i just an arm accessory now or?
right before you were able to reply back, mina snatches your phone from your hands.
"no texting during the slumber party!" she yells, before taking a peek at who you're messaging
"give it back, mina!" you scream, trying to get your phone back to prevent her from reading what seems to be a new message from bakugo
"oh my god it's bakugo! wait let me send him a pic so he won't disturb our party" she squeals, taking a quick selfie of everyone with you looking all stressed out
"and.. sent!" she smiles proudly. after what seems like torture (it was only a few seconds) mina tosses your phone back to your hands before continuing on whatever you guys were talking about
not even a minute later, bakugo replies
[9:30PM] kitkats: raccoon eyes you better not set yn up with someone else when im literally right fuckin' here
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pedroscurls · 1 month ago
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in every lifetime
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summary: you lost logan in this universe. logan lost you in his. what happens when you both see each other again, but realize that you're both from different worlds? pairing: logan howlett x fem!reader warnings: post deadpool & wolverine ("worst" logan!variant), angst (mentions of death, loss from both reader and logan), no use of y/n. word count: 2.1k a/n: this is my first logan fic, so if anything is ooc, i'm sorry in advanced! just like everyone else, i've been obsessed with hugh jackman / logan after watching deadpool & wolverine (if it isn't obvious lol)... i had the song 'unchained melody' in mind when writing this story because whenever i hear it, i think of logan for some reason lol (tried to embed it but it didn't work, but i'd highly recommend listening to the song while reading this!) anyway, hope you enjoy! next part.
“I’ll be back.”
“But what if–”
“I always come back, bub.” Logan’s looking down at you, hand cupping your cheek. In moments like this, you can see the age in his features. The crows feet at the corners of his eyes. The gray in his hair and beard. 
“Logan…” Tears sting your eyes. You know he has to leave, has to go help Charles, but there’s a feeling deep in your gut that knows that if he goes, he isn't coming back. 
“Wait for me, then.” He says, dipping down to gently peck your lips. “Okay? Wait for me.” 
“Logan,” you repeat. “What do I do if I– if I lose you?” 
There’s a feeling in the pit of Logan’s stomach, a sense of dread and fear that he’s only ever felt when you were concerned. This feels a lot like a goodbye… That maybe if he does go, he won’t come back. And the thought alone scares him. He never used to have to think about the possibility of dying, his regenerative powers always healing him in record time, but he knows that he doesn’t heal as quickly as before. He feels more pain now than he ever had. And he knows he’s sick, knows that the adamantium that once gave him strength is now slowly making him weaker.
But now, the thought of dying… It fucking scared him. It scared him to think that he’d leave you here, all alone, grieving him. He had never thought he’d be deserving of someone like you, to be loved and taken care of so gently, so sweetly, so patiently. Even with all of the baggage he carried, you never pushed. He knew, right off the bat, that you deserved someone so much better than him, but you stayed. 
Through it all, you stayed. 
And Logan would forever be grateful. After everything he’s been through, the things he’s seen, the things he had to do, the people he’s lost, you gave him a life that was finally worth living. 
“Then, you move on, darlin’.” Logan finally answers. 
“And if I can’t?” 
“You’ll have to.” 
“I don’t… I don’t want you to go, but I know that you have to. Charles needs you and–”
“I love you with every fiber of my being, baby,” Logan interjects. “And I will love you in every lifetime.” 
And that was almost a year ago. The moment he stopped calling, you knew that was it. That he either got into some real trouble or… Or that he was no longer here. It wasn’t until a young girl named Laura showed up on your doorstep, holding his dog tags that your assumptions were correct. 
You had fallen to your knees, a sob escaping your lips, as you felt your world come crashing down. Logan’s death had left a gaping hole in your heart, in your life, and everywhere you looked and everywhere you went, all you could see was him. 
You learned from Laura that during his last moments, he had told her to come and find you, that you would take care of her and give her a good life. Whenever you were around her, you tried to be strong, tried to put on a brave front, but behind closed doors, you were a complete mess. There were days where you didn’t want to get out of bed, didn’t want to eat; you just wanted the pain to stop. Every night, whenever you closed your eyes, you forced yourself to sleep because that was the only place where you could be with him. 
In your dreams, he was alive. 
In your dreams, he had made it back home.
In your dreams, he was here with you, helping raise Laura. 
And every time you woke up, you were welcomed with the sudden reality that he wasn’t alive. He wasn’t coming back home. He wasn’t ever going to be here with you to help raise Laura. 
Logan was dead and now, you had to try and learn how to move on. 
For yourself.
For Laura.
For Logan. 
He didn’t know what he was doing here, why he agreed to stay with Wade because it was driving him crazy. This wasn’t even his timeline; he wasn’t even meant to be here. Despite saving Wade’s timeline, Logan still found it hard to fit in. He tried to keep Wade and every single one of his friends at an arm's distance because he knows what happens to people he cares about. 
But the more time he spent around them, the more he felt at ease. Logan would be lying if he said he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but when Laura mentioned your name at one of Wade’s family dinners, his heart skipped a beat. When he realized he would be able to stay in this timeline, you were all he could think about. 
Logan wondered if you existed in this world and what he would do if you did. So, when Laura casually said your name, his head turned around so quickly that he felt dizzy. There were so many things he regretted in his own timeline, but you were his biggest regret. 
Just like he failed the other X-men, Logan had failed you too. You had been there with the other X-men, trying to warn them of a planned attack and ended up getting caught in the crossfire. You had called out for him, just like Scott, like Charles, like Storm. 
He managed to get to you before you had taken your last breath, holding you in his arms. Logan begged and begged for you to fight, that he’d do things right from now on as long as you just held on, but you were losing so much blood and Logan couldn’t stop it. 
Even then, when you had every right to be angry with him, you gazed up at him with an understanding look on your face. You had always been so patient and kind, so sweet and considerate. You had made him so happy and it scared him, which ultimately ended in pushing you away because he didn’t think he was deserving of it. Of you. 
“I love you, Logan,” you had said, wincing at the pain. 
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m–” Logan felt a sob catch in his throat, tears stinging his eyes as he looked down at you. “Please, baby, please please please, don’t–”
“I–” you coughed, eyes fluttering as you felt the pain overcome your entire body. “I will love you in every lifetime, Logan.” And then, you took your last breath, eyes falling shut and body falling limp in his arms. 
Since then, Logan drank himself day after day, from dawn to dusk. The alcohol never truly helped, his regenerative powers sobering him so fast, but with every swig of liquor, it burned. And he spent years bringing pain unto others, including himself. 
That was, until he met Wade who had given him a chance, a reason to fight for something… To not turn his back on someone who relied on him. A chance for redemption, to finally make things right. 
“So, will you meet her?” Laura asks, holding Dogpool in her arms as she gazes up at Logan. “She– She used to be with this universe’s Logan and…”
“No chance, kid.” Logan interrupts, shaking his head. “I’m not him.” 
“Did you have someone like her in yours?” she asks. “She’s always put me first, always made sure I was taken care of even when she didn’t have to, when she was grieving. And I think–” Laura sighs. “I think if she knows that some version of you is alive, it would make her real happy.”
“I’m not him,” Logan growls, feeling his irritation spike. “‘Sides, she’s better off without me.” He stands from the table and walks out into Wade’s balcony to get some fresh air, shutting the door behind him as he leans against the railing.
“But she’s coming tonight,” Laura finally says, long after Logan’s walked away.
Throughout the rest of the dinner, Logan remains outside. He can hear the muffled laughter coming from inside and it only angered him because it was just another confirmation that he didn’t belong here. He’s already on his fourth bottle of beer when he hears a familiar voice, smells a recognizable scent. He turns slightly and catches you stepping into Wade’s apartment, an arm slinging over Laura’s shoulders so casually, so maternally. 
He feels his heart rate pick up. Your smile still lights up a room and he can’t help but his lips turning upwards at the sight. With his enhanced hearing, Logan can hear your voice and he shuts his eyes for a moment, tuning all of his attention on you until you’re the only one he hears. 
Then, he hears your laugh and he lets out a sigh. He never thought he’d be able to hear that again, but his eyes shoot open when he hears you say his name. There’s a shocked tone in your voice, laced with sadness and hope. It all but crushes him because he knows that you’re probably expecting someone else, expecting this world’s Logan and he doesn’t want to disappoint you. Not again. He doesn’t think he’d be able to handle it if he were to hurt you again. 
But when he looks at you, his breath catches in his throat when your eyes meet his. Logan notices the surprise look on your face, but before he could try and escape, you’re already walking towards him. When you open the door and step out with him, your scent fills his senses and it makes him dizzy, like he can’t fully concentrate. 
“You…” he hears you say, voice unsteady. “You’re not… I’m–” you sigh and shake your head. 
“I know who you are,” Logan finally says, his own voice shaky. 
Your hands reach out for him, but stopping halfway when you realize this isn’t your Logan. This is not the same man who died all those years ago. This is some version of him – much younger, less wrinkles and gray hairs in his hair and beard, but he still has that same look on his face. The scowl. 
“From Laura?” you ask hesitantly. 
“From my universe,” Logan answers. 
“There– There’s a version of me in your universe?” 
“There was.”
“And what happened to me?” 
Logan’s jaw tightens. “The same thing that happened to your Logan in this universe.”
“Oh.” Your face drops, eyes softening. “I’m sorry,” you whisper. 
Logan wants to run far from here, far from you because he feels himself yearning for more. He almost forgot how it felt like to be near you, to be inches away that he can just reach out and pull you into his arms. Your eyes captivate him, the kindness it expresses makes him feel like he matters. You had always made him feel that way that even through all of his anger, through all of the walls he put up, you showed him that he was deserving of something good. Even if he didn’t believe it himself. 
And you… You were the best thing to ever happen to him.
“Don’t know why you’re apologizin’,” Logan mutters. 
There’s an uncomfortable silence that engulfs the both of you. He can see the tears threatening to spill over, can see the way your lower lip is beginning to tremble and he has this sudden urge to console you, to wipe away the tears that have now fallen down your cheeks. 
“I’m sorry,” you repeat, bringing your hands up to wipe away the tears that seem to be trickling down your face nonstop. “I just– Losing my Logan just crushed me and I don’t think I’ve ever recovered.” 
My Logan. 
Logan can practically feel his heart beating in his chest. This isn’t a conversation that he thought he would be having and certainly not with someone he loved and died because of him. 
“That’s okay,” Logan responds quietly, his tone softening. “I don’t think it’s easy to recover from losing someone you love.”
“Did you– Did you love me in your universe?” 
Logan nods slowly, tightening his jaw as he gazes down at you. “With every fiber of my being.” 
Your eyes widen and stare up at him. This might be a different Logan, but hearing those words again just brings you back to the moment you last saw your Logan before he left to go take care of Charles. 
“Did you love me in yours?” Logan asks hesitantly.
You nod instantly, tears trickling down your cheek as you stare up at him. “I’d love you in every lifetime.” 
Logan feels his own set of tears pool at the corners of his eyes and he moves a hand to rest on the railing, fingers lightly brushing against yours as he stares into your eyes. 
“I’m not him,” he whispers. 
“I know,” you say quietly. “And I’m not her.” 
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