#this was born from a Bit that happened in my session last night

[monstersdownthepath]

do you ever get a dumb joke stuck in your head

[klaus-littlestwolf]

No Matter What- Aemond T.

Aemond is in love, and he refused to allow his nephew to have her. He will take her from Jacaerys by any means necessary.

Am I just going to keep writing my fics as if Season 2 didn’t happen at all?

Yeah…it’s very likely, yes🤣🤣

Also, for the person that DM’d me and asked if I have a name in mind for Y/n when I write for Aemond, yes. In my mind when I write, her name is Rhaella, I just think it’s the most beautiful Targaryen name I’ve heard. I also love Visenya but I feel it’s overused. The only other name I would potentially use would be Saera.

She was surprised by her Uncles attitude from the moment she first saw him again.

Y/n and Aemond had been best friends in their childhood. She had climbed onto the back of the Grey Ghost when she was only 5 years old (most people believing that the Dragon knew they were the same when it came to how shy and avoidant they were).

They hadn’t been close up until that point, only being 5 and 6 years old and both being outcasts among their family (though she almost preferred it that way). Y/n had offered to take Aemond with her flying one night after Aegon, Jace and Luke had ridiculed him again and he actually agreed, resting his hand on the nose of a dragon for the first time as Y/n calmed him. Climbing into the saddle and holding onto his niece had been awkward and a bit embarrassing until they were in the air and Aemond knew he was truly born for this.

From then on Y/n offered to take him with her quite often, always after their brothers had bullied one of them again. She comforted him, even once letting Aemond take the reigns and fly Ghost himself (which the pale dragon didn’t like at all sadly and only lasted a few moments), but the fact that she had done it meant the world to him. He promised to take Y/n with him on his dragon as soon as he mounts one, wanting desperately to impress her.

Aemond was Obsessed

Their friendship lasted like that for almost 4 years before that horrible night when Aemond was attacked by her brothers. He had been so excited to tell her about Vhagar, he had actually been running inside to wake her and take her flying like he promised when he was cut off.

She had held his hand from the moment she ran in, trying to comfort him as much as she was able until her mother pulled her away. Aemond raged when she was dragged away from his side but he was held down by Criston Cole from trying to take his Princess back, Daemon carrying the 9 year olds squirming body out and away from him.

As they all left the next morning he tried to find her, Rhaenyra glaring at him as he searched the courtyard and he knew her mother hadn’t let her come and say “goodbye”…that night was the last time he saw her for almost 9 years…

It was the worst thing Rhaenyra could have done. She had made her younger brother desperate, and desperate men do desperate things…he would have her back. No Matter What.

Aemond dreamed about nothing but his niece every single day after, determined to make her his despite the fact that her mother would never betroth her to him. He knew the only way he could make her his wife was to take her and make it the only option, Alicent would most definitely force their wedding very quickly rather than watch the only “legitimate” grandchild of her husband (other than his brother and sisters 3 children) carry a child unwed (as she was Daemons daughter “secretly” but could at least be passed off as not being Harwin Strongs).

When he finally saw her again he felt his breath stolen from his body, she was stunning, the most gorgeous creature he had ever laid eyes on. A women now, standing just shorter than Jace as she watched him in his training session with Cole. Aemond fought hard, determined to show her what he had become and he quickly ended the fight with his sword at his trainers throat.

‘Well done my Prince. You’ll be winning tourneys in no time.’

Aemond rolled his eyes at that. ‘I don’t give a shit about tourneys…nephews. Have you come to train?’ He questioned, looking over the both of them before making eye contact with Y/n who blushed heavily as he did. ‘Niece. It is a pleasure to lay eyes on you again…and you are truly a sight to behold.’ He stepped closer, shoving himself between the Strongs to take her hand in his, lifting it to his lips and looking into her lovely purple eyes. Aemond was comforted to see no fear or disgust on her face, but her beautiful blush was something he wanted to see forever. ‘You are just as gorgeous as I imagined you to be.’ He whispered, leaning close to her ear.

‘Thank you Uncle. You have become ever more handsome, a man grown. The ladies must be fighting tooth and nail for your affections.’ She teased, however before he could respond and insist that he wanted no affections but her own, her bastard brother snatched her hand from his.

‘I would thank you to keep your hands to yourself Uncle, my betrothed should not be touched by anyone but me.’ Jace spoke with a smirk on his face. Anyone with eyes knew Aemond had always been in love with Y/n and his nephew was smug to be able to take any kind of happiness away from him as he always had done.

Aemond composed himself immediately, smiling down at him kindly but Jace could see the rage in his eye, the silent threat that he was giving being clear. ‘I suppose congratulations are in order then.’ And though he said it, he gave none before smiling at Y/n who was then pulled in the opposite direction and out of the courtyard.

‘I do not want to see him touching you again, do you understand me?’ Jace demanded as they got into the castle, Y/n pulling her hand from his angrily.

‘You are not yet my husband brother, don’t you dare order me as if you are. I still have plenty of time to tell mother I would rather be betrothed to anyone but you and that Baela can be Queen by your side one day. I am not an object for you to take possession of!’ And with that she stormed off, Aemond around the corner having heard the whole thing. He knew exactly how to get his girl to be his…though he doubted it would be hard with how his nephew treated his Queen.

‘You should be kinder to your future Queen-‘

‘She is mine, whether she likes it or not. I am to be the King one day, she cannot refuse me.’ Jace joked with Luke who snorted, Aemond turning and leaving the hall. Y/n was his future wife, no matter what he had to do to make sure of it.

After the horrific meeting to attempt to give Driftmark to anyone but Luke he was sadly reestablished as heir thanks to the King and Aemond found himself in a bit of trouble with everyone at dinner after calling his nephews Strong.

All of them were sent to their chambers and he hightailed it back to her chamber, slipping in before his niece and her guard arrived, hiding behind the wardrobe in case anyone came in with her.

‘I am tired Jacaerys, all I want is a good, long sleep. Just leave me be for the night, I will not answer you if you come back! I need no protection from you!’ She snapped as the door opened.

‘If Aemond-‘

‘Aemond is not here! And now you are not here either, go to your own chambers and give me a night of peaceful sleep after all of this Bullshit!’ She slammed the door, locking it instantly and Aemond could feel his cock hardening in his breeches. Something about hearing her reject Jace was a turn on for him in a major way and he wanted to mark her neck up with as many bite marks as possible, he needed to show his nephew who his Princess truly belonged to.

‘That was impressive.’ Aemond spoke, seeing her nearly jump a foot in the air as she gasped. ‘Apologies, I didn’t mean to frighten you…I just wanted to see you. I knew your betrothed would not allow you even a moment in my presence.’ Her eyes were slit instantly as he said this.

‘Jace thinks he can control me but I will not let myself be that kind of wife! I am not an object to be owned, to be ordered around in front of his friends to make him look like a strong man or King! I do not want to be his wife or his Queen!’ She snapped and Aemond did his best to look at her softly, wanting her to see his empathy and her eyes widened as she realized what she had done. ‘I am so sorry Kepus! You did not deserve that, I am not angry at you. I am so-‘ (Uncle)

‘Breathe Byka Dārilaros…it is alright. I understand how angry he makes you feel, I hate him as well, remember?’ He teased and she chuckled before stepping forward and not hesitating to wrap her arms around his body, resting her head on his chest. (Little Princess)

‘I missed you so much Kepus…I wanted to write to you but my mother wouldn’t let me. She said it was a betrayal to Luke and that since you didn’t write to me, you clearly wouldn’t care but I-‘

‘I did write to you. I sent letters for months before I received one from my sister telling me to stop, that you did not want to hear from me but I knew that was a lie . There was not a single day that passed that I did not think about how much I missed you…’ Aemond looked down at her, his arms around her to hold her to him, hesitating only a moment as he looked into her soft eyes and pressed his lips to hers.

She surprised him a bit when she didn’t hesitate to kiss him back, her hands moving to hold his shirt tightly as he took her face into his and held her close. Y/n was his everything and he had been craving for this exact moment since he was 6 years old, wanting to kiss her since the moment they first flew together. She will be his and he will keep her close forever, determined to never let anyone touch what is his ever again-especially Jace.

‘You are so perfect…’ he mumbled against her lips before pulling away and resting his forehead on hers. ‘Do you want this? I don’t want to force you into anything you do not desire, my love…however I want you to be mine. I have craved you for so many years and I will cherish the ground you walk on if you will be mine.’ Aemond knew giving her the choice would make the difference in pushing her to do what she wanted even against her mothers wishes.

‘I love you Kepus, I always have…our mothers will never-‘

‘There is a way…My mother will insist upon it if I have already filled you with my son…’ he tried to speak softly, let her know that it is her choice to make. ‘I love you Byka Dārilaros, and I want you to be my wife more than anything. The thought of being forced to marry another turns my stomach however I will never force myself upon you. If you would marry Jace then I will love you from afar…but if you want me then I will make love to you right here and now. I will pleasure you all night long until you are so full of me there is no doubt you carry my son and then I will sleep inside of your pretty little cunt for our family to find come morning…let me love you in every way that he can’t.’ There were tears in her eyes as he finished speaking to her and he moved to wipe them away before she spoke again. Y/n reached up, taking the eyepatch covering his sapphire into her fingers before he caught her wrist awkwardly. No lady had ever seen his face and not been uncomfortable or disgusted by it which is why he always covered it whenever he wasn’t alone in his room or in the library.

‘I would look upon your face and see all that you are…while you fill me with our first child.’ He looked at her, startled for a moment before he released her hand and she pulled the eyepatch off.

‘First of many…I will fill you with as many children as you desire.’ Aemond promised before kissing her again, his hands moving to the back of her dress where he unlaced the corset and pulled it down her arms, lifting her out of the dress and moving to drop her onto the bed. She pulled off her small clothes as she watched him remove his shirt and breeches, leaving him bare and revealing his hard cock that was already leaking. ‘You are so beautiful, my love…tell me that you’re mine.’ Aemond insisted, his hand giving his member a firm stroke.

‘I’m yours Kepus, all yours forever.’ She promised as he crawled over her, kissing his jaw and down his neck sweetly. She was just so precious he couldn’t help the needy feeling in his chest demanding he take her.

‘All mine! Should any man look at you even a moment too long ever again, I will remove their eyes and feed them to the ravens.’ Aemond pushed her legs apart more so that he could settle between them, feeling her wetness on his cock for the first time and nearly cumming on the spot. He gave her a moment to relax herself upon pushing into her however she shocked him once again, moaning like a whore only a moment later prompting him to shove his hand over her mouth. ‘If someone hears you then your guard will come in here and we will be dragged apart. I would hear your lovely moans forevermore once I’ve filled your cunt but for now you must hush.’ She whined but bit her bottom lip hard to keep from making any loud noises. Aemond loved the knowledge that he could make her moan like that, in love with fucking her body already as he thrust up into her roughly. Her nails dug into his shoulders, scratching down his back painfully which sent a rush of pleasure through his belly upon him sucking hard on her throat, biting into her perfect skin quite hard and covering her mouth with a hand once again as she nearly screamed, her pussy tightening around his cock in a way he had never felt before which practically dragged his own end from his body. ‘Gods be good, I’ve never felt anything like that before…you felt good?’ It was an insecure moment of him needing that reassurance and while with anyone else he would have been instantly embarrassed, she nodded, quite dazed it seemed and he knew she didn’t judge him for a moment. ‘Your cunt is a form of blissful ecstasy I did not know was attainable. You are mine now Y/n…say it…’

‘Yours Aemond…all yours…you will be my husband as soon as next week and you will be able to have me anytime and any place you desire. I never thought it could feel like that…I love you Kepus.’ Her words touched him and in that moment Aemond knew that he would never need anyone else in this world again as long as he had Y/n and their future silver haired babies.

‘I love you too Mandianna, I always have. From this night on they will never be able to steal you from me again! You are all mine Y/n…and I will take pleasure in making sure everyone knows it.’ He made his point as he thrust his hard cock up into her once more prompting her sharp intake of breath, nails digging into his forearms before pulling him down to kiss her. (Niece)

Aemond spent the night filling his future wife with as much of his seed as his body held, biting her perfect pale skin everywhere he could reach and ensuring no one would ever be able to argue who she belonged to again. He finally had what he had always wanted, the only things left to do was put a tiara upon her head and meet their children.

The knock on the door was the thing that awakened the both of them the next morning quite early and far too soon considering how many hours Aemond had spent filling his bride…(6 hours). It was frantic and Aemond groaned, pulling Y/n closer into his chest as he was happy to ignore it before her mother shouted.

‘Y/n! You aren’t at breakfast and neither is Aemond! If he is in there with you…!’ She warned and Aemond found the half threat amusing.

‘Aemond! Are you in there?!’ His mother was the one shouting through the door now and he smiled, kissing his soon-to-be-wife’s lips before responding.

‘Good morning mother!’ He responded.

‘You Little Fuck! If you’ve hurt my daughter I swear to all of the Gods!’ Rhaenyra raged. ‘Daemon! Get This Door Open!’ She demanded.

‘He did not hurt me mother!’ Y/n stated just before the first loud hit to the door causing his girl to scream, turning to hide her face into his neck as he sat up. It took 2 more strikes before the door burst open and their mothers entered along with Daemon and Otto. Y/n was covered up to her waist while her upper body was pressed to his leaving only her back exposed.

‘Aemond! What have you done?’ Alicent asked sadly, clearly trying to think of a solution, knowing there was only one in this situation.

‘You all know that we have loved each other since we were children. Did you think that would go away just because you didn’t give her my letters sister?’ Rhaenyra’s eyes widened before she glared at him in a rage.

‘What is he talking about?’ His mother asked.

‘I didn’t want him speaking to her! She will not marry her Uncle like-‘

‘Like you did?’ Alicent deadpanned making the Princess look to her. ‘She will actually marry her Uncle, from this moment they are betrothed-‘

‘My daughter is already betrothed to-‘

‘Not anymore!’ Otto cut her off. ‘From this moment on the Princess Y/n Velaryon is to be wed to Prince Aemond Targaryen. The wedding will take place at the end of the week, we cannot have anyone knowing of these indiscretions when she begins to show as I am assuming she is likely pregnant?’ He asked Aemond who grinned.

‘Oh, most definitely. I’ve left no doubt that she carry’s my son. I was actually planning on filling her with another one before you so rudely broke the door down-‘

‘Do not push your luck Aemond!’ His Grandsire warned.

‘I should remove your head you insolent little shit.’ Daemon growled, Aemond seeing the rage in his eyes.

‘Then your grandchild would be without a father, Uncle. What purpose would that serve except ensuring your daughter hates you?’ Y/n moved her hand to pinch his side making him jump. ‘I’m sorry Byka Dārilaros.’

Aemond could see the surprise at his apology in his mother and Grandsire’s eyes. ‘Maybe this will be a good thing after all.’ Otto considered before turning to leave the room.

‘No more fooling around. Get dressed and get to breakfast. Now.’ With that his mother guided Rhaenyra and Daemon reluctantly out of the room.

‘Can your husband help you get dressed my love?’ Aemond questioned and she kissed his shoulder before biting his neck as he had done to her about 30 times the previous night, the evidence of which was very clear to see all over her chest and breasts. Aemond was proud though, because while she could hide those the 5 marks on her neck were not able to be hidden before breakfast where he was eager for Jace to see them.

They were both dressed 10 minutes later, their hair staying down until after they broke their fast for the day, Aemond leading her down the halls and enjoying the smile on his girls face as they entered the room with their family. He sat her down beside him and watched her fill her plate and eat, clearly hungry from their previous nights activities which filled him with pride at being able to satisfy his wife.

‘What is that?’ A voice demanded and everyone looked up to see Jace pointing at Y/n’s neck.

‘Jace, we will discuss this after we eat. You-‘

‘No!’ He cut his mother off, jumping up from his seat and moving to Y/n’s side in an instant, yanking her hair to the side and looking at her neck. Aemond heard her whimper in pain as he pulled her hair, holding her chin to expose her throat to him and he was instantly up from his chair with his hands on Jace.

‘That’s Enough!’ Rhaenyra shouted before Aemond punched his nephew who nearly flew backwards at the force his fist caused before he moved to grab him again, a voice calling his name through the jumble of people yelling which had his attention immediately.

‘Come eat with me Kepus, please?’ Y/n asked softly and he couldn’t deny her that as she held her hand out. Aemond moved to take it, lifting her onto his lap and sitting to eat, feeding her and feeling proud at providing her what she needs, thoroughly enjoying her feeding him as well.

It seemed that everyone was shocked at Aemond disengaging from the fight but his attention was on his soon to be wife as it should be. ‘We should go for a morning flight after breakfast…let me take you for a ride as I promised, late as the kept promise may be.’ Y/n looked up at him and he could see her surprise which he found adorable.

‘You…you want me to-to ride Vhagar?’ She questioned and he chuckled.

‘Not alone of course but yes, I had wanted to take you up with me the night I mounted her but that clearly didn’t happen. It will be fun, I promise.’ The smile on his girls face was worth everything to him. She was precious and he would keep his wife happy no matter what. If that meant that his nephews and older sister needed to be un-happy, then that was just icing on the cake for him.

He finally took her flying with him later that day, though it made her own dragon quite grumpy and forced her to take Ghost for his own flight before they could go back home. Aemond had finally kept his promise, and had ensured he got exactly what he wanted in the end.

Now all that is left for Aemond to do is figure out how to make Y/n his Queen and fulfill his dream of his wife riding him on the Iron Throne.

That one may take a bit more work, but he would ensure it, No Matter What.

Aemond T. Masterlist

[sinofwriting]

Every Kiss Begins With Tabs - Max Verstappen

Words: 1,544 Summary: Max and her have a tradition that was born from their first kiss. Note(s): The idea for this fic popped into my head one night, didn’t know what driver to do with it, and then quickly realized Max is the only option with him driving for a literal energy drink company. Also, this features Max and Charles being best friends, because your honor, I love them. (and features a bit of Ferrari bashing, because of course)

Masterlist | Support Me!

At the end of their first date, Max had watched as she shyly reached into her purse, fishing for something, before pressing a small thing into his hand and instinctively he held it. He didn’t even get a second to figure out what it was, since she kissed him as soon as it was pressed into his hand. It was small, barely a second, just a peck. But it had made him flush, staring at her with wide eyes before he murmured a quiet again.

Her bottom lip had found its way between her teeth for a second, before she nodded at his hand, the one she had pressed something into. For the kiss. He remembers her mumble, making her all the more cute to him, how she was shy yet bold in the same breath.

It had been near painful to look away from her, but he forced his eyes down as he uncurled his hand and saw a generic soda tab sitting in his palm. Her words rang in his ears and memories of watching girls in school give them to boys run through his head and he’s pressing their hands together, keeping it between their palms as he kisses her.

—

Max’s eyebrows are furrowed in concentration as he messes with the tab on his can of Red Bull. The sound of the press and his fellow drivers' voices washing over him. When it easily tears off, he pockets it, just as he’s asked a question.

“Over these last few months, you’ve been a lot happier. Many people thought it was you winning races making you so happy, but with Singapore happening, that has been disproven. Is there something other than winning that makes you so happy?” Max’s eyes darted over to his press officer, personal questions were on the no list for after races. She looks back at him with a raised eyebrow and he has to resist letting his brows press together. She clearly didn’t think this was personal and in nature he supposes it wasn’t, but it was leading. Raising the microphone to his lips, he speaks. “Well, I think I’d have a very boring, shit life if the only thing that made me happy was winning.” The reporter coughs, “Of course. But nothing new in your life?” “Not that I can think of.” There’s a frown on the reporter's face, but they don’t ask anything else, and the session is called to a close.

“I fucking hate reporters.” Max murmurs as he walks out the room. Charles snorts, hearing him and gently bumping their shoulders together. “I couldn’t tell.” “Haha. Was a good race for you today, though.” “I feel like I need a fucking bodyguard. I’ve been getting threats like crazy.” Max winces, having seen some for himself and also knowing from experience how bad they could get. “Ferrari hasn’t hired any for you?” He scoffs, “No, too much faith, I suppose.” “Stick close, come to Red Bull’s hotel with me, I’ve got an extra room and security.” “Ooh.” Charles teases, poking at his side as they exit the building. “Look at the golden boy with his security.” Max rolls his eyes, but feigns away as he reaches out again. “Are you coming or not?” He scoffs again. “Of course. I’m too pretty to be killed.” It’s Max’s turn to scoff, “You're something, alright.” he mutters.

Entering Red Bull’s garage with Charles would feel weird if it weren't for the fact that for nearly all of this season Bradley, Christian, Tom, GP, or himself had all been sneaking the Ferrari driver in. Max knows that Christian is hoping with them allowing Charles access to their garage and helping hide him away from Ferrari that he’ll join their team, and Max isn’t too proud to say that he’s started to wish that too.

“I’ve gotta get something from Christian first.” Max murmurs when Charles makes a confused hum when they don’t immediately go to his driver’s room. “Also, might want to text something to collect your stuff.” “Andrea will get it. I just need the hotel and room number so he can send some stuff over.” “Don’t want to sleep in Red Bull branded clothes?” Charles sniffs, sticking his chin in the air, perfectly making a haughty face. “Of course not. I have fashion sense.”

—

“You want room service or something delivered from somewhere?” Charles stares at him, “Mate.” Max grins at him before returning his gaze to his phone. “Had to ask. We do have Brazil next weekend after all.” “I want all the tacos in the world right now.” “Margaritas as well?” It’s silent for a second, “why not. Just one though.” Max rolls his eyes, typing out the number ten before hitting send.

“Food has been ordered.” “Thank god. I’m starving.” “Not going to offer to pay?” Max jokes, even though he’d refuse. “God no.” He scoffs before grinning at him. “Thank you, Max, honestly.” “It’s no problem.”

“When will the food get here?” Charles asks nearly thirty minutes later as Max unlocks the door. “Already here.” He tells him, opening the door up and stepping through.

Tossing his backpack to the armchair, he doesn’t see the confused look on Charles’ face or how it grows more confused when Max fishes something out of his pocket and holds it out, a grin on his face as he stands just beside the suite's sofa.

Charles nearly stumbles when a girl appears out of nowhere, words gathering on his tongue, only for them to die before they can form when she takes whatever it is out of Max’s hand and kisses him. He knows his mouth is open, jaw dropped, as he stares at the two.

“Hello.” Max murmurs, pulling away after pressing another kiss to her lips. Her head is tilted up a bit to look at him, nose scrunching a little as she smiles. “Hi. Well done on the race.” He grins and is unable to resist kissing her again before finally separating from her, only to wrap an arm around her and pull her into his side as he turns them both to face Charles. “Charles, this is Y/N, my girlfriend.” The other driver blinks at them for a few seconds before smiling. “Hello. It’s lovely to meet you.” He tells her, stepping forward to greet her with a hug, giving Max a thumbs up when she easily goes along with it. Max snorts at the thumbs up.

“Congrats on your race as well, Charles. Always nice to see you on the podium.” “Oh.” He can feel his cheeks turn a little pink at the compliment. “Well, it is always nice to be there, even if he is always taking the top spot.” She laughs and then she’s ushering them both to sit down at the small table nearly overflowing with food. “Oh my god.” Charles breaths, staring at it all. “It’s beautiful.” “I think you're just hungry, mate.” Max remarks and Charles notices how she passes whatever Max handed her before they kissed back to the driver before giving him a peck on the lips. “Of course, I’m hungry.” His eyes wander over all the food, all the tacos, and he knows that Andrea will be pissed at their next session when Charles tells him what he ate, but he knows he won’t regret it. Even when Andrea makes the session a triple.

“Can I ask a question?” Charles asks, after they are done eating. The twelve tacos he ate and two margaritas he had in combination with pleasant company made him feel content. “Is it a stupid one?” “Max.” She playfully scolds, but there’s a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Of course.” “What is with the thing? The small thing you pass back and forth.” “Oh,” her eyes are a little wide and she seems to have stiffened and it has Charles' eyes widened. “You do not have to answer. I was just curious. You can of course tell me to shut up.” “No, it’s okay.” She shares a look with Max. “It’s just a habit, I don’t even really think about it anymore.”

Charles watches as she carefully extends her hand and opens it so he can stare at the thing the couple has been exchanging. His eyebrows furrow when he sees it’s a tab to a Red Bull can.

“Before I kissed Max for the first time, I gave him a tab from a soda can. It’s become a tradition of sorts.” His face softens at the explanation, and this whole weekend he has missed Alex, but now more than ever he wishes that she was able to come with him. “That is very sweet.” His lips then curl into a smirk and he looks at Max. “Must make sex uncomfortable though.” “You mother,” Max cuts himself off as he hits Charles with a pillow, his fellow driver howling with laughter. Hitting him with a pillow again, Max looks at her to see her laughing as well, face bright with joy and his hand is ducking into his pocket pulling out a spare tab he always keeps on him, pressing it into her hand before kissing her, ignoring the fake sounds of throwing up from Charles as he does.

@gemofthenight @peachiicherries @lpab @topguncultleader @iloveyou3000morgan @boiohboii @bibliosaurous @skepvids @elliegrey2803 @cixrosie @darleneslane @fanboyluvr @teti-menchon0604 @eugene-emt-roe @quackquackhun @rewmuslupin @copper-boom @stopeatread @crashingwavesofeuphoria @jointhehunt67

[wandamaximoffsbadgirl]

Let's Talk About That

I saw the end when we began (1)

Psychiatrist!Avenger!Fem!Reader × Wanda Maximoff

Summary: You are the young psychiatrist for the Avengers, and you take your job very seriously, but what happens when Wanda joins the team, turning your life upside down?

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: legal age gap r is 19 w is 25, talks of death and grief, a bit of angst, therapy sessions

A/N: I had this idea for a while and wrote it a while ago, but spruced it up for publishing. I hope you enjoy it!

May 7th-10th 2015

The only sounds to be heard were the scratches of your pen against paper as you wrote down notes the old fashioned way and the hum of the AC unit installed in your office. Tony let you have a nice corner of the tower where there was sunlight and windows. You had gone with a soft gray for the walls, an L-shaped mahogany desk that had both a desktop computer and your laptop. Across from your desk was two couches and a coffee table between them with an assortment of fidget toys, a succulent, a handful of magazines, and a box of tissues. 

Everyone had been away on an important mission and normally you’d go with, but you'd been recovering from a previous injury, you still are when you hear a knock on your door, 

"Open." You let them know and just from their aura you can tell it's Tasha, but she's with someone else, an aura you don't recognize. You look up to find a girl with chestnut colored hair, and a dark aura around her. "Hey Tash. I'm glad you're all home safe. I'm assuming we'll restart our sessions?" You ask the red head. 

"Yes. We can resume them. Tomorrow. Today I need you to have a talk with this one." Tasha helps her into the room and gestures for her to sit down, Tasha walks over and hands you a large file. "She came from HYDRA, they had a lot of info on her, she had joined us in the fight against Ultron." Tasha tells you before lowering her voice, "She lost her twin brother during the battle. So maybe you can get her to talk." You smile at Tasha and then look past the red head. 

"Yeah of course we shouldn't have any issues Tash. Leave it to me." You tell her as I adjust your glasses, quickly looking over her file as Tasha exits, closing the door behind her, "Wanda Maximoff, 25, born in Sokovia." You say out loud as you walk around your desk to the other couch across from where she's sitting criss-cross. You take notice she's taken her shoes off and smile, taking note of the fact that she’s comfortable enough to do something like that. "I'm Dr. Y/N Y/L/N. I'm 19. I'm also an Avenger. I have a power that allows me to see auras and emotions. I can also influence people's emotions and use my voice to influence others around me." You tell her a little about yourself first to help make her comfortable with talking about herself.

"You're 19? How are you a doctor?" She finally talks and you can hear her thick Sokovian accent which is like music to your ears. 

"I'm very smart. Graduated high school at 12 finished my Doctorate last year for psychiatry and Tony took me in as the Avengers Psychiatrist shortly after that. Everyone here needs a little bit of help and that is what I'm here to provide for you." You smile at her as you open a fresh notebook for her, choosing a red covered one noticing that she was wearing Tasha’s red leather jacket. "So tell me a little about yourself. Anything you want." You ask as you jot down her basic info on the first page. 

"I love American sitcoms." she tells you first. You smile and look at her over your glasses. 

"Why is that?" You ask as you jot down her words. 

"We used to watch them as a family every night so we could learn English." She tells you making a smile appear on your face. 

"When you say we who does that entail?" You question the Sokovian wanting to get to the root of her problems. 

"My Mama, Papa, and Pietro..." She tells you solemnly. 

"Who is Pietro?" You inquire, looking up from your notebook. 

"He is...was...my twin brother." You jot down everything she says during your session and she does open up a little bit with some persuasion on your part, but that isn't unusual for your sessions. 

"Well Wanda thank you for opening up to me. Your aura is looking a little warmer from when you first walked in. How about you come back in three days for another session?" You tilt your head as you grab a little card for her. 

"Why three days?" She asks nervously, tugging at her sleeves attempting to cover her hands, but the jacket doesn't budge. She starts picking at her nails as an alternative, chipping the black nail polish further. 

"I like to have frequent sessions the first month. Then we'll have them weekly just like the others." You let her know and she nods her head as you write the date and time for her to show up on the card for three days from now. Standing up with her, "I offer a high fives, hand shakes, fist bumps, or a hug at the end of sessions. Which would you like?" You ask and she's thrown off a bit by the statement at first but then answers. 

"Hug. I could use a hug right now." You open up your arms and let her come to you. She ends up crying in your arms as you sooth her, letting her know it is okay to cry. 

"I'll always be here for you Wanda. I'm always on your side." You whisper to her and she holds you tighter at the words.

You sat back down at your desk after Wanda left, feeling a mix of emotions swirling within you. Empathy for Wanda's pain, determination to help her heal, and a lingering sense of dread about what HYDRA had done to her. But you pushed those feelings aside, focusing on the task at hand.

As the Avengers' psychiatrist, it was your responsibility to help your teammates navigate the mental and emotional toll of their work. Sometimes that meant delving into painful memories or difficult emotions, but it was a role you took on willingly. After all, you had your own share of struggles, and if you could use your powers to help others, then it was worth it.

You glanced at the clock and realized it was almost time for lunch. You decided to take a break and head to the common area, where you found Tony tinkering with one of his suits.

"Hey, Y/N," he greeted you with a grin. "How's it going?"

"Good," you replied, sinking into a nearby chair. "Just had a session with Wanda. She's been through a lot."

Tony nodded solemnly. "Yeah, losing her brother and all that HYDRA stuff... it's rough."

You sighed, running a hand through your Y/H/C hair. "Yeah, but she's strong. I think she'll come through it."

Tony gave you a reassuring smile before returning to his work, and you took a moment to appreciate the camaraderie of the team. Despite your differences and the challenges you guys faced, you were a family, bound together by our shared experiences and our commitment to protecting the world.

After a quick lunch, you headed back to your office to prepare for your next session. As you reviewed your notes from Wanda's session, you couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more to her story, something hidden beneath the surface. But for now, all you could do was continue to offer her support and hope that she would find the strength to confront her demons and emerge stronger on the other side.

With that thought in mind, you square your shoulders and prepare to face whatever challenges lay ahead. As an Avenger, a psychiatrist, and a friend, you were ready to do whatever it took to help your teammates and protect the world from whatever threats may come our way.

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

Three days passed in a blur of meetings, training sessions, and the occasional emergency mission. But today, you were back in your office, eagerly awaiting Wanda's return for your second session. As you sat at your desk, reviewing your notes from your previous meeting, you couldn't help but feel a surge of empathy for her. Losing a loved one in battle was something you could relate to all too well.

Before you could dwell too much on your own past, there was a soft knock on your door, and Wanda stepped into the room. Her aura seemed a bit brighter today, though still tinged with sadness. "Hey, Wanda," you greeted her with a warm smile, motioning for her to take a seat. "How are you feeling today?"

Wanda hesitated for a moment before answering, "Better, I think. Thank you for... everything last time."

You nodded, understandingly. "Of course. It's what I'm here for." You gestured toward the notebook on the table. "Shall we pick up where we left off?"

For the next hour, the two of you delved deeper into Wanda's past, her memories of Sokovia, her time with HYDRA, and her experiences with her brother, Pietro. With each word she spoke, you could feel her emotions swirling around you, and you did your best to guide her through them, offering comfort and support where you could.

As your session came to a close, Wanda seemed visibly lighter, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of her lips. "Thank you, Y/N," she said softly, wiping away a stray tear. "I didn't realize how much I needed this."

You smiled back, feeling a sense of fulfillment wash over you. "Anytime, Wanda. Remember, I'm always here for you."

Before she left, Wanda surprises you by reaching out and giving you a tight hug. "Thank you," she repeated, her voice thick with emotion.

As you watched her leave your office, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the opportunity to help someone in need, to make a difference in their life, even if it was just one session at a time. And as you glanced down at the Power Stone embedded in your chest, you couldn't help but wonder if perhaps this was the true source of your ability to connect with others on such a deep level. But for now, all that mattered was that you were making a difference, one session at a time.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

I get that Helluva Boss and Hazbin don't and aren't planned to have much overlap, and for the most part I appreciate that separation and the way that it makes the world seem that bit larger.

The one exception being this: I am convinced that Angel Dust and Fizzarolli are at least acquaintances, and quite possibly friends.

No, listen, hear me out.

Angel supposedly died in the forties. We don't know exactly when he was picked up by Valentino, but I think it's fair to assume he's been working in Hell's sex work/stripping/porn scene for at least a few decades before he joins the Hotel.

Fizz's backstory is obviously more detailed. We know that he was either born in the Pride Ring or came there at a very young age, because he was already working there as a circus performer when he was a kid.

By the time Helluva Boss starts, however, he's obviously moved on to operating primarily in the Greed and Lust rings, as Mammon's star performer and Asmodeus's boyfriend platonic PA who he occasionally has totally unemotional bang-sessions with.

In between these two points is the accident, which seems to have happened when Fizz was in his late teens. The last time he saw Blitz before that night in Ozzies.

So, here's where the only concrete canon 'evidence' for my theory kicks in: in Oops, Blitz claims that he and Fizz have “been in each other's relative vicinity twice in the last fifteen years” (referring to Ozzies and just now when they bumped into each other in Greed).

However in The-Mammon-Episode-With-Too-Long-A-Title, everyone can't stop talking about how Fizz has consistently won Mammon's clown pageant every time he's entered. For the past ten years.

That gives us five whole years of Fizz's life that are completely unaccounted for. We know that he started this period off in the Pride Ring with his circus destroyed and a brand-new permanent disability to get used to, and ended it in Greed working for Mammon, but we have no idea what happened in between.

So, here is where evidence ends and rampant speculation begins.

As a former child performer, Fizz is unlikely to have had much experience doing anything else. In fact, given that they were travelling with the circus, it seems unlikely that him and Blitz would even have ended up with a steady education.

Blitz obviously managed to found his own business after the accident, but Blitz had been dreaming of doing just that since he was a young child, and it was his Dad who was actually handling the business-side of the circus, so I don't think he's a fair comparison. Fizz probably spent his early years assuming he'd just keep performing forever, and so it makes sense that he'd go back to that.

On the other hand, Fizz had just lost all his limbs, and would have been having to adjust to his prosthetics. (Most likely lower quality prosthetics that he ended up with later, since those seem to be a gift from Ozzie.)

His clown act was mostly physical. Acrobatics require a sense of balance and spatial awareness. Balloon animals and juggling require fine motor control. Literally replacing all four of your limbs— even with magical Hell-prosthetics— is going to cause issues with all these skills, at least temporarily.

So. What industry in the Pride Ring is related to entertainment, but doesn't necessarily require any complex acrobatics, and would most likely welcome a fresh amputee with severe facial scarring? (For fetish reasons, if nothing else?)

I'm not saying Fizz would have done sex work, since he seems so uncomfortable with the idea, but stripping? Maybe doing some soft core porn? I could see that. He's clearly not too fussed about adult entertainment in general, because he's totally okay performing at Ozzies.

He's also probably insanely handsome by imp standards. Like, dude ends up becoming a major sex symbol throughout the rings and has the embodiment of Lust falling madly in love with him. (Plus, as a kid and teenager, he got more attention as a performer than Blitz— the guy who briefly dated a succubus pop-star and now has an ars-goetia prince begging him for a pity-fuck at every opportunity.)

So, given all that, and given his future success, it makes sense that he'd have been popular. Which immediately puts him in range of one of the Pride ring's other hugely popular adult performers: Angel Dust.

And I could see these two getting along. Since Angel is more of a sex worker whereas Fizz is more of a performer, and since Angel would probably be mainly catering to sinner demons and Fizz to hellborn (though no doubt there'd be some overlap), chances are they wouldn't be in direct competition with each other.

They have similar senses of humour and similar personalities. They both like small, cute animals. They both genuinely care about the quality of their performances, even in circumstances where they might not be expected to. They both have a tendency to mask their emotions with sex-related jokes.

Plus there's the fucking angst potential of Angel befriending Fizz when he was an independent performer, and then watching— helplessly— as his friend starts talking about this new job offer with Mammon.

Like people have already made posts about how Angel might feel watching Fizz's performance in Two Minutes Notice and comparing it to his own situation with Valentino, but fuck imagine it from the other end of Angel watching his friend fall into that situation.

Trying to talk him out of it during the initial love-bombing phase and getting told he's just jealous. Not even being able to visit Fizz when it all goes wrong because sinners aren't allowed to leave the Pride Ring.

Also, as a secondary detail, imagine Angel Dust finding out that his new friend's life-changing injuries were caused by Blitz, seemingly a pretty well-known figure in the Pride Ring.

Imagine Blitz finding out that Hell's most famous porn actor has genuine beef with him and having absolutely no idea why.

(Millie, Moxxie and Loona— based on the Verosika thing— all assume it was a bad breakup, despite Blitz insisting otherwise.)

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Trick or Treat 🎃

Hello lovely, first can I just say I adore your writing and was wondering if I could request a Halloween one for Eddie?

You and Eddie take your twins out trick or treating for the first time. Maybe a family Halloween costume too?

Request by anon ♥️

Don't copy, repost, translate or reuse my work.

Fluffy family based fic ♥️

♥️

Meeting and marrying you was the best thing that had ever happened to Eddie and life got even better when you fell pregnant with twins, two adorable little girls.

Eddie loved being a daddy, loved his little family and doted on his three girls. It was safe to say you, Alice and Evie had Eddie wrapped around your little fingers.

Not that he minded one bit even if it was a source of good natured teasing from the Hellfire boys, who he still met up with once a week for a D&D session.

Eddie was an amazing father, at first he was nervous when you announced you were pregnant. Of course he was happy but he hadn't been brought up in the most stable household. Uncle Wayne was the only parental figure he had who was always there for him.

Despite his worries he eased into the role and doted on his girls, was very protective and the most amazing storyteller.

His stories were the highlight of for you and the girls, he told them nightly and he regularly acted them out with you. Alice and Evie hung on his every word.

He would read to them as well or join you when you were reading to the girls but he grew bored and embellished or told his own stories instead.

The twins were Eddie in miniature, all big brown eyes, dimples and curly brown hair. Like their father they also had a penchant for mischief and we're honorary Hellfire members as soon as they were born.

Eddie delighted in making them tiny Hellfire shirts.

Halloween was tonight and it was the first time you all were going trick or treating.

Eddie was a little emotional that his baby girls were growing up and you instantly comforted him, both of you wondering how time had flown by so quickly.

How were your girls already three years old? You couldn't believe it and didn't want to miss any moment of them growing up as it went so quick.

It was Eddie's idea to do a family costume. The girls were obsessed with Scooby Doo and Alice was determined to dress up in the Scooby Doo outfit she had seen at the store.

"Princess, we could go as Mystery inc. What do you think?" you nod excited by this.

"Alice and Evie would love it. Evie loves Velma and they have the cutest outfits at the mall.

"You wanna be the Daphne to my Fred? Eddie beams and wraps his arms around you, kissing you tenderly.

"Always but I think for this occasion you're definely Shaggy. The girls love your impression of him" he beams proudly loving making Alice and Evie laugh with his Shaggy voice.

"I'll rope Steve into playing Fred and we can meet up with him later in the night. He owes us for babysitting the six gremlins" you giggle and swat him playfully.

"Eddie, for the last time you can't call them Gremlins" he pouts and you hide your smile privaty agreeing with his assessment. You adored Steve's kids but they were a handful.

Now that it was Halloween you had been having a lovely day with the girls baking cookies and watching Scooby Doo and Winnie the Pooh all day.

Then it was time to dress up in your outfits and get ready for trick or treating. The girls looked so adorable in their costumes and are anxious to get out and enjoy the night.

"Daddy will we go to see Uncle Dustin, Uncle Steve and Aunty Robin?" Alice asks and Eddie nods as he helps her and Evie into their coats.

"Of course princess. Now come on spooky adventures await"

♥️

The four of you set out on Halloween night excited for what was to come. Alice and Evie are already hyper and hold their pumpkin baskets giggling and pointing to the different Halloween decorations on your street.

"Daddy look at the bats" Alice points them out to him and Eddie plays up his excitement but you see the slight fear in his eyes.

Even years after surviving the demobat attack, the upside down and the horrors of the past long gone and life peaceful there was still those rare times that Eddie wakes in a sweat and panicking.

That night was the worst of your life. You really thought you had lost Eddie and the grief was overwhelming. Thankfully, he oues through but it still haunted you at times.

Squeezing his hand you distract the twins and point to a witch on the roof of one of your neighbours house, she's on a broomstick, black cat in tow.

"Can we get a black cat mama?" Evie asks her big brown eyes pleading and you look to Eddie who's already melting at her puppy eyes.

He could never resist any of your puppy eyes or pouts and always gave in.

"Maybe Santa might bring you and Alice a kitty for Christmas?" you tease and the girls cheer at this.

The four of you go door to door and your neighbours are lovely, it's not long before the girls have full baskets of candy and their eyes light up as they show you and Eddie the sweets.

Eventually you end go to Steve's, the kids all play together before you all settle down to watch a cute and only slightly spooky film.

The kids eat a little of their candy as you and Eddie relax while talking to the gang.

🎃

Eventually the night winds down and you, Eddie and the girls head home.

Both of them are exhausted and Eddie carries both of them to bed while you get their pj's ready and have them all tucked up on bed.

"What about a story?" Evie mumbles sleepily and Eddie softens.

"Not tonight baby but I promise an epic story tomorrow" she nods letting out a little yawn and then she's fast asleep like Alice.

You cuddle into Eddie and he kisses your forehead.

"Uh sweetheart, I'm not very tired are you?" he raises his eyebrows and you grin catching on to what he's hinting at.

"Not a bit, why don't we go have a little Halloween party of our own?" quietly you lead him out of the twins room and to your bedroom stifling a giggle as Eddie kisses your neck.

🎃♥️

[thefallennightmare]

Soldiers-three

credit to whoever made the gif, found on google/pinterest.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader.

Warnings: angst, language, fluff, violence, smut.

Summary: Reader has spent the last seventy years in hell as a prisoner soldier; Hydra's greatest weapon. Well, second greatest weapon after The Winter Soldier. The only thing that got her through that hell was him, even if she was the one behind his biggest pain.

Authors Note: I think what I'm going to like most about writing this story is that I can write Bucky/Soldat a certain way that I like and how I imagine he would be if he had someone there with him during the most horrendous time of his life. Tags are open!

Tags(open): @elizacusi-blog @pattiemac1 @yvessaintmuerte @mdpplgtz03 @mayjaysthots @broadwaybabe18 @sebsgirl71479 @yourfavunsub @themorningsunshine @nikwld

The busy night life of the small town was shining behind the curtains from the motel room where James and I were currently held up in. 

No, not James. 

Soldat. 

All this time later, I still had to correct myself on his name. Zola didn’t want James to remember any part of his past, afraid that it would confuse his weapon. 

I couldn’t stop the way my eyes rolled into the back of my head when he said that. He never saw James or I as people, simply a way to scare their enemies. Which was why we were here in this run down town in Russia to take care of one of Zola’s problems. Soldat and I did what we were told, us returning back to the motel a bit ago. 

I was positioned at the window, peaking through the curtain to make sure that no one had followed us back, while the large body sat at the edge of the bed behind me. 

“Voin.” 

The richness of his voice set my skin a blaze as I slowly turned towards him. I wished that I was able to tell him what my name was but knew that we both were ordered to only call each other by our soldier names. 

His eyes were so dark, glossed over while the strands of his hair fell into them. His hair had grown so much in the last few months along with his strength. Zola’s men worked tirelessly the last six months with Soldat, training and modeling him into the perfect prize. I was never allowed to sit in on these sessions, only being brought in to erase his memories if needed.

What started off as every day slowly became once a week until now, six months later, that I only needed to erase his memory when I thought he was remembering too much. The pain that erupted from his throat when my static shocked his brain had burned deep into my bones so I was thankful that it had been a while since I needed to do that. 

“Voin, are you alright?” 

Soldat’s voice brought me back and I gave him a small nod, still remaining in place. This was our first mission together and with what happened earlier, I knew that his mind had to be racing, his erratic heartbeat pounding loudly in my ears. 

“I’ll be fine,” I reassured him. “I’ve had worse things happen to me.” 

We were in a local mob’s laboratory looking for some kind of vial that Zola needed to perfect his serum, so if we ran into this scientist, we needed to kill him then steal whatever was in his safe. Everything went smoothly, the scientist going down without a hitch thanks to my powers while Soldat was taking care of the guards. One of them, however, slipped away and attacked me from behind. The image of me staring down the barrel of a gun was burned into my brain and I thought for half a second that I was about to die. Until Soldat snuck up behind him, snapping his neck in half. 

There was a look in his eyes that I had never seen before as he looked at the dead body that laid at his feet. The bright blue eyes of his were dark with hatred and it took a soft hand on his chest to bring him back to me, the darkness vanished in an instant. 

“I shouldn’t have let him get that close to you,” Soldat looked down at his hands, the metal fingers gripping tightly at his flesh.

My heart sank knowing that he thought it was normal, that he was born with it. He had no idea that he was forced to have it. 

I sighed while kneeling in front of him, still in my tact suit, and did my best to look into his eyes. There was no light behind them, almost as if he had no soul. 

With what he had been through, I couldn’t blame him.  

“It’s alright, Soldat. You were there. It all worked out,” I said. 

I gently brushed the hair out of his face, not wanting to scare him from my touch but he didn’t move, not even a flinch. 

Over the last six months, we had grown close, spending a lot of our free time together when we weren’t running our own solo missions. Soldat wouldn’t show his emotions at all, even around me, but he didn’t need to. His silent cues were enough. 

The soft brush of his hand as we walked past each other in the long halls of the compound, my name falling from his lips while he slept in the room next to me, and when his eyes would be looking for me in the training room. 

I wished that I was able to get to know James Barnes, not Soldat. So I took it upon myself to sneak into Zola’s office to retrieve his folder, staying up late one night reading everything I needed to know about him. 

He grew up in Brooklyn with Steve Rogers, Captain America himself.  Soldat used to be a sergeant in the army, him and Steve being in the Howling Commandos. I remember them because they were taking out all of the Hydra bases during the war and succeeded when Steve flew the plane he and Johann were on straight into the ice. 

I thought I would have been upset when I found out about Johann’s death because of everything he had done for me but that was the exact reason why I felt relieved at his death. Yes, he did give me a place to stay when I needed it most but it was his idea that made me the way I am, this soldier, so I felt no ounce of hurt because of his death. 

What hurt me the most was that according to Soldat’s paperwork, he was killed in action when he fell from the train, the day Steve captured Zola. But Hydra knew what everyone else didn’t. The serum that was pumping in Soldat’s bloodstream is what kept him alive, surviving the fall. 

All of this happened only a few months ago and I did everything I could not to tell him about Steve or the fact that Soldat had a life outside of Hydra. 

“Voin.” 

I looked into his eyes and hummed; the sudden proximity made my heart flutter. His metal fingers tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and I closed my eyes at the touch. 

“I don’t know what I would have done if you got hurt,” he admitted with a hushed tone. 

“Soldat,” I cupped his cheek. “You need to stop dwelling on it, everything worked out the way it was supposed to. Please.” 

He reluctantly nodded but I didn’t remove my hand from his face, loving how the warmth radiated off of him even in this cold state. There had been this sexual tension between us for a while now and as much as I wanted to feel him I knew that he had to be the one to make the first move. Soldat had so many things done to him that he had no control or choice, the last thing I wanted was to make him more uncomfortable. 

But a little nudge wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Thank you for saving me,” I breathed over his lips. 

Soldat swallowed thickly as I laid a kiss upon his cheek and our eyes bore deep into each other for a few beats, our breaths getting caught in our throats. Lust clouded around us in a black form and I felt the magnetic pull from his lips drag me in with the want to know what he tasted like. 

“Voin.” 

The brokenness in his voice made me stumble on my knees a bit and realized that he had tears welling in the corners of his eyes. 

“Why can’t I remember anything?” His bottom lip trembled. 

“Oh, Soldat,” I sighed while spreading his legs apart, kneeling between them. 

I was ready to tell him everything, let him know about who he was before this, but both of our bodies stiffened when our ears perked up due to the loud footsteps running down the hallway. 

The door to our room busted open with a loud kick but both Soldat and I were quick to our feet, staring down the intruder that had kicked the door down. It was one of the men from the lab we raided and by the bewildered look in his eyes, he was here for revenge. 

“Where is it?” He demanded; gun clenched tightly in his hand. 

Soldat stepped forehead while flipping his knife between his fingers but my hand on his chest stopped him. 

I looked back to the man with my head tilted. “You’ve got a lot of balls showing up here.” 

He ignored me by cocking the gun. “I’m going to ask one more time. Where is it?” 

“Where’s what?” I shrugged. 

The bullet nearly missed me by a few millimeters and I stared at where it met the wall with fire in my eyes before the electricity sparked at my fingertips. I sliced the man in half with my gaze, anger radiating the sparks. 

“I’m going to assume that was an accident,” I seethed. 

Soldat gripped the knife tighter in his hands, still waiting for my cue. 

“I’m not afraid of the two of you; Zola’s monsters!” The man yelled. 

However, I saw the way his hand shook while holding the gun towards us and knew that he was lying. 

“Alright, I’m finished with this conversation,” I groaned before nodding towards Soldat. 

He wasted no time in throwing the knife towards the man, hitting directly into his heart. Just for added measure, I extended my fingers at him, the electric shocks shooting towards him and evaporating him to dust. 

“If he found where we are, it’s only a matter of time till someone else comes,” Soldat said. 

I nodded with a sigh and gave his flesh hand a squeeze. “Pull the bike around while I pack our things?” 

He agreed with a kiss to the back of my hand and my heart fluttered with the mundane action, not stopping to think what would happen to us when we got back to the compound. 

[themissingnumbers]

Hello again fellas :) It's about that time again. Just a heads up, I don't think this is going to be super long like all of my other yap sessions. This is just me rambling about that one riddle that Carrion made. (And dang are they good at what they do-)

So, imma just be upfront and say it—I'm bad at riddles and I'm stumped. I've been thinking about it, trying to pick it apart little by little whenever I've had some quiet/free time and I've got nothing. WELL- actually saying I have nothing would be a lie. I don't have anything concrete, but I do have a feeling. It makes me feel a feeling that I can't really put into words. Like, I THINK that I get what it's trying to say, but I'm not sure. It's the mental equivalent of having really bad eyesight and squinting to read a sign across the street, thinking you know what it says but not being sure because it's too blurry. (If that makes any sense at all-)

However! I can tell you guys about the vibes I get from it and what I've got so far! (I'm probably reading this riddle all wrong, but here goes-)

Now, it's probably just my brain being weird, but I get like... Religious vibes from this stuff. Like- Murder(Slaughtered), Betrayal(Poisoned), and Sanctification(Enshrined) are all things that happened in the Bible I think. I also kinda get Book of the Dead vibes from it a little bit. Okay, lemme explain this.

For that "Remember the thirds, all that went wrong" part of it just really made me think of the Egyptian Soul. Now, I'm not the most experienced or well-versed in this subject, but I will try my best to explain it in a way that makes sense. The Egyptian Soul is made up of three parts: the Ka (the life force/essence separated from the body at death), the Ba (the personality of the departed), and the Akh (the Immortal Spirit, reserved only for the few that were deserving of Maat Kheru). Maa/Maat Kheru is a phrase meaning "True of voice" or "Justified." It is involved in ancient Egyptian afterlife beliefs, according to which the souls of the dead had to be judged morally righteous. Once the soul had passed the test, the Weighing of the Heart (which was deeply rooted in the Egyptian belief in immortality), they were judged to be Maat Kheru and were allowed into the afterlife. The phrase Maat Kheru was often used to denote a person who had died and become a god, and the Akh being the "transfigured spirit that survived death and mingled with gods." (God, I hope that all makes sense-) As for what went wrong: what didn't? Everything has gone bad for this man. He's been out of control since the moment he was born. He's not living—just alive. (On top of that, I'm pretty sure Arceus messed with this man's soul so, that too I guess-)

Anywho, uhhhh... this got long. Whoops- This entire thing could very much be me being too focused on the fact that at one point in the last Starry said that Fire could be seen as a Jesus Figure and be the source of heavy-handed metaphors, but I digress. Those are my thoughts for now. Hopefully, there's something good in there.

(Okay, I don't like to do this, but am I allowed to ask for a hint? Like, I'm usually against anything my brain considers a "freebie" but I am well and truly stuck on this. Hints have been allowed for other mysteries, but you didn't say if I could get hints for this one, so I just figured I'd ask. Alright, that's all. Have a good day/night y'all! :])

Referring to This Riddle

{Since it's my riddle, I don't mind clearing things up a little.}

{While I'm certainly a fan of the esoteric, I think you've gotten a little too narrow in trying to unravel it ^^}

{It's not a riddle with a specific answer, but rather serves as a sort of clue in the larger picture of things. I think to unwrap it properly, you just need to step back- Fire might be the focal point of the image, but as you pointed out in your previous analysis, there are others there too- both people, and objects.}

{All that to be said, your hint.} {The riddle is for the victims, not their executioner.}

[choco-bean405]

Heyo guys! I'm back with an art dump, sooo these'll be either drawings i forgot to post, not fully finished orr just left out since life happened. Ah and i'm so sorry for the long wait! I've been driving myself a bit insane with saving up money for december, with a shopping trip coming up on the 19th, andd trying to think of what members of my family would want for Christmas, sooo yeah.

Anyways, let's get on with the artwork shall we?

First off, macaque!!! Tho kinda combined his Monkey King 2009 design with the lego style monkie kid's in, as a sort of past version i guess? Like his cape over the years grew darker in colour and gotten a bit more worn down. And with his new powers, came the black fur?

Here's some training drawings i've tried doing, since i want to get better with harder and more dynamic kind of poses. Annd, heyy! RJ got a new outfit! And ngl i'm starting to like the colour pallet i used for it 😍

Ohhh i drew that pose a whiile back but never got to finishing it til today, sooo i turned it into a drawing of Tang with a sort of outfit i thought up...tho idk why but i kinda see harry potter instead of him 😅

For this drawing, i had been thinking, Sun wukong has the scarf, andd Macaque has a cape, sooo why not give MK a red bandana? Like he could have wanted to match Sun a bit more, with being his successor, and Rummaged through some old stuff of his and found it? Orrr maybe tang or pigsy gave it to him? I'm not sure, either way, i love how it turned out.

Ooohhh this is a fun one! My idea of how Mk and Red Son had RJ was, maybe during a sparring session or fight, something happened anndd well, in a nut shell, RJ was born from a stone egg (Pftt-Try explaining to your son how children were made when they came from an Egg 😅), I had to reference the egg mk came from well, from the pilot episode,but add in some fire elements to reference Red Son's fire powers. As RJ is a combo of both of them.

Oohhh 🤣 i wanted to do some muscle practise sooo it turned into a shirtless Red Son drawing..whiich i'm considering drawing one of the other character's reactions to it. I ain't saying who tho~

These were part of a small art challange i came up with, i drew Red Son and MK buut, i used a colour generator to colour them in. I was going through art block at the time soo, it really helped out!

Annd here are the last few! I was watching a youtuber try out a couple tik tol art challenges and i saw this one, "If you see this, draw your oc as: Normal, Genderbent, Child(Past Self), Royalty, and Villain". I haven't gotten onto the villain part yet buut i thought i should at least show these.

Here are the last 2! I loved seeing people's versions of a swap au sooo, I thought I'd try doing my own! Just, i guess you could call it a "Swapped Destiny AU"? Mk is the full son of DBK and Princess iron fan, And Red Son is the Monkey king successor! There were other ideas of Bai-He(Lady bone demon's vessel/Possessed girl), and Mei being swapped around, andd Sun and Macaque swapping roles too. Buut that's something for another day!

I hope you all enjoy the drawings! And i'll try to update whenever i can 😅 have a nice day,night, morning or afternoon wherever you are!

[canonicallyobserving911]

In some instances, 6x11 was not CANONICALLY accurate

Please note this post has nothing to do with the actors and actresses playing the characters but it has everything to do with the characters’ characterizations. All of 9-1-1’s actors and actresses are great and every one of them have the ability to deliver stellar performances.  They did the best they could with the scripts they were given so this isn’t about them.  It’s also not about the writers because they don’t have final approval of the storylines and arcs that make it into the final episodes.

I posted my initial thoughts about the lack of Eddie last night and let me be clear, in real life, not Fanfiction, I never expected for Eddie to appear in Buck’s dream sequence at any point and here’s why.

In CANON if Buck wasn’t a firefighter, then Bobby would have lost his job in season 1 because Buck wouldn’t have been there with Hen to help him after the plane crash when he fell off the wagon.  Bobby being gone from the 118 means Eddie would not have been hired to work there because Bobby wouldn’t have been there to recruit him and Eddie would have probably ended up at station 6. I never expected for Eddie to have died in The Well or The Shooting in Buck’s dream because if the firehouse he ended up working for wasn’t dispatched to those scenes, then he wouldn’t have been involved in those incidents. The whole dynamic would have been different but of course the narrative was changed in 6x11 to fit this new and improved characterization of Buck.

Before addressing two things that were GLARINGLY wrong with Buck’s dream and his actions after he woke up in 6x11, it appears one of Buck’s dream memories was not CANONICALLY accurate.  Buck not being a firefighter wasn’t the thing that pushed Bobby over the edge and it wasn’t the reason why Bobby fought to live.  Bobby had been planning to commit suicide in season 1 and he had already talked to his priest about it but Chimney was the person who helped Bobby realize he mattered after Bobby donated blood during the 118’s blood drive.  Someone from the hospital tested his blood and learned it has the potential to save a lot of babies lives after they’re born.  It was Chimney who found parents with a baby who was saved by Bobby’s blood and he invited Bobby to the hospital and introduced them to each other.  This happened after Bobby told Chimney he was planning to commit suicide but just like always, everything had to be adjusted to fit the narrative the showrunner wanted to tell about Buck.

Two parts of Buck’s storyline in 6x11 that also weren’t CANONICALLY accurate have been included below.

The Buckley Parents

First, redemption for the Buckley parents was nonsensical because nothing happened on-screen to justify them being redeemed.  The dynamic between Buck and his parents has always been based on the way Buck hurt himself and in 6x11 things were exactly the same. His parents went to the hospital because he was hurt but Margaret said in 4x4 “9-1-1 What’s Your Grievance?” she wasn’t good with seeing her children in the hospital so the question is how did she magically become good with it now? Did they discuss it in the two therapy sessions Buck said they agreed to have with him in 4x6 “Jinx”?  If so then it would have made narrative sense if it had been addressed with one line in 6x10 “In a Flash” when they first showed up but even their demeanors in that episode were completely off.  Buck admitted it later on while riding in the firetruck when he said they thought him being a sperm donor was an idiotic decision which proved they haven’t changed one bit.  His parents were still keeping up appearances but no real growth with them has happened.  The other two times Buck was in the hospital in seasons 2 and 3, they didn’t visit him and it seems like they wouldn’t have visited him in 6x11 either if they hadn’t already been in L.A.

Second, Buck’s mother wanting to redecorate his loft and him just letting her do it was ridiculous for several reasons.  Margaret wasn’t shown being in his loft before 6x11 and for her to tell him they were going to buy him a couch when he said he didn’t want one was weird.  She took over the same way TK did in 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia” when she moved in.  This leads to the next point because the question now becomes did Buck learn anything about his parents from his dream?  NO because his parents were the same in both his dream and his reality and he was never shown making a definitive decision about his relationship with them. They were redeemed without him having a serious discussion and him sitting in his armchair at the end of the episode looking all happy like they’re some kind of perfect family when they aren’t was even weirder.  Bobby told Buck in his dream he couldn’t fix everything but Buck said he fixed him (he didn’t see paragraph above about Chimney) and now it seems like Buck’s still trying to fix his parents the same way he believes he fixed Bobby.

He’s still repeating the same mistakes expecting for them to change when they obviously haven’t but he wants a family so bad he’s willing to hold onto whatever resemblances of a family he sees and just roll with it.  The main issue is Buck is still not dealing with his problems that stemmed from his relationship or lack thereof with his mother.  In all of Buck’s romantic relationships, he just went along for the ride and let the women in his life control everything and now he’s doing it again. But this time, it’s happening with his mother the woman who’s the source of all his emotional trauma.  Will he ever talk to her to let her know how much she hurt him?  Probably not but her offering to decorate his loft was another way she’s using to control him and it was VERY LOUD but he still doesn’t see it.  So, what exactly has Buck learned from this whole lightning strike debacle?  Whether he learned something or not is difficult to say but it appears he’s still going in circles since he won’t ADMIT what and who he wants in his life because he’s still trying to make people see him the way he wants them too instead of him being who he is.  In Buck’s dream, Bobby told him, “If what matters to you most is the way other people see you then… you haven’t learned a damn thing”.  The episode ended and it seemed like Buck still hasn’t learned anything since he wants to please his parents and try to have a better relationship with them without talking about any of the issues he’s had with them. Bobby told him in 5x9 “Past is Prologue” he doesn’t talk to the women he dates but that statement can also be applied to his mother since he won’t talk to her about the way she treated him.  He's still trying to please his parents when they’re showing him a mirage, it’s the life they know he wants to see and now since they won’t even be involved for the rest of the season, another big hole has been left in Buck’s storyline.  It’s unlikely the hole will be addressed anytime soon because as usual it’s wash, rinse and repeat with Buck’s characterization so it’s unclear if he’ll ever address the issues he’s had with his parents in the future.

Eddie’s characterization

Eddie is a great dad and he was one before he met Buck.  Buck said it himself in 2x4 “Stuck” that Eddie’s a great dad so how did Eddie go from being a great dad in reality to him being an “angry guy” in Buck’s dream who let his parents take his son away from him?  This was another forced narrative that didn’t make any sense because Eddie would have quit being a firefighter before he would have relinquished custody of Chris to his parents.  Proof of this statement happened in 5x10 “Wrapped in Red” when Eddie quit the 118 because he was worried about Chris thinking he was going to die.  Also, Eddie left El Paso, TX to get AWAY from his parents and even though he’s reconciled with Ramon, he has yet to deal with his own mother and the way she treated him while he was growing up and after he was discharged from the Army.  She was the driving force behind trying to take Chris away from him and he still hasn’t dealt with it. Eddie sacrifices everything for Chris including, giving up the job he loved in 5x10 to work in a job he disliked, he tried to reconcile with Shannon in 2x10 “Merry Ex-Mas” for Chris’ sake but it didn’t work, he planned to stick it out with Ana in 5x2 “Desperate Times” even though his heart wasn’t in it since he was only doing it for Chris’ sake again and he does everything he can to make sure Chris has what he needs. The assassination of his character was unnecessary because he's not some “angry guy” who would have lost his kid in a custody battle with his parents just because Buck wasn’t a firefighter.  Buck did introduce Eddie to Carla but if Buck hadn’t been at the 118 and Eddie ended up at station 6, then Eddie would have quit firefighting and found another job in L.A. that would have allowed him to support both of them instead of allowing his parents to sue him for custody.

The show has practically removed the support system Eddie already had in L.A. before he met Buck. They moved his abuela Isabel back to TX and the audience didn’t learn about it until 5x17 “Hero Complex” when Eddie, Chris and Pepa traveled there for Ramon’s retirement party.  Pepa hasn’t been in an episode since 5x17 but they keep putting Carla in the episodes so Eddie will have someone to talk to other than Buck.  It’s clear from the scenes with Chimney and Karen that Eddie has other friends but the show won’t let those friendships be shown on-screen.  Since Eddie arrived, the show has made him completely dependent on Buck and the 118 but they haven’t made Buck completely dependent on Eddie.  This is a problem because the GA still doesn’t understand the nature of Buck and Eddie’s relationship.

In 6x10 and 6x11 it was clear from Eddie’s reaction to Buck being hurt how much Buck means to him but it’s still unclear how much Eddie means to Buck. Reminder The Shooting happened almost two years ago, they still haven’t talked about it and a lot of things have happened since then.  Buck being the one to talk to Chris after Eddie was shot was LOUD and so was Eddie’s will reveal but they still haven’t discussed the meaning behind those two instances. Also, Buck broke down Eddie’s bedroom door to get to him in 5x13 after Eddie’s breakdown but since the show said the underlying cause was Eddie’s PTSD, the GA didn’t understand there was more to Eddie’s statement about the way he wanted to feel normal again. It’s been a year since his breakdown and now that Buck was hurt, to the GA, the feelings Eddie has for him kind of seem like they’re one-sided even though the fandom understands and knows they aren’t.

After Buck woke up, why wasn’t he allowed to tell Eddie that him being struck by lightning wasn’t Eddie’s fault?  Eddie internalizes EVERYTHING and he’s blaming himself for Buck being hurt but the show isn’t addressing it.  He’s torturing himself and instead of allowing them to talk about it, the showrunner has mentioned multiple times the way Eddie’s going to start dating again and she thinks it’s going to be fun for him (it won’t be). Apparently, Eddie’s storylines are going in circles just like Buck’s are since he already tried dating again in 4x6. It seems like this is another delay tactic being setup so he can finally realize who he wants to be with and it’s ridiculous because he already knows he wants to be with Buck.  He reached for Buck after the shooting, he can’t keep his eyes off him, he made Buck the legal guardian to his son and now his character is being assassinated and Buck was made to look like the best dad ever at the expense of Eddie.

The GA still sees Buck and Eddie as platonic friends who have a deep brotherly type of love for one another and that’s after they watched the kitchen scene and all the googly eyes they keep making at each other.  Until one of them makes a love confession or at least an implication is made that they are definitely going to be more than just friends and work partners, then it’s likely the showrunner will keep doing the same things she’s been doing for the past few seasons of keeping Buck and Eddie occupied by having them date other people instead of putting them together.  Additionally, the GA doesn’t write 10K word Metas and Theories which means they don’t understand the symbolism of Eddie not being able to look at Buck while he was in his hospital room or the absence of Eddie in Buck’s dream.  Eddie’s absence didn’t translate to the GA the way it translated to the fandom because they don’t understand there could be a bigger plan associated with Buck and Eddie ending up in a romantic relationship. Furthermore, the majority of the GA doesn’t read post-mortem interviews and they shouldn’t have to in order to understand what is happening on the show. No one should have to read an interview with OS or the showrunner to learn about things that should have been included in the episode.

Buck’s dream presented the show with the perfect opportunity for him to demonstrate the way he has real romantic feelings for Eddie and to demonstrate the way Eddie reciprocates those feelings but as usual they separated them and now the GA is posting again about not watching the rest of the season. They’re also posting about how Buck and Eddie don’t even seem to be friends anymore just like they did in 6A.

It’s unclear where Buck and Eddie’s relationship is headed but if the show doesn’t do something definitive soon to alert the GA of an impending romantic relationship, then they’re going to lose even more viewers than they lost after season 5 ended.  As of March 14, 2023, 6x11 “In Another Life” had a 6.5 out of a 10-star rating on IMDB and it’s the lowest rating of any episode in season 6 so far.   Ratings haven’t been this low since season 5 so it appears the audience is not happy and they’re losing interest in the storylines again.  It seems like every time the show takes one step forward, the showrunner drags it back 30,000 steps in the opposite direction. Will things get better before the end of the season and the show loses more viewers?  Only the showrunner(s), writers and producers know the answer to that question.

[thommi-tomate]

Interview with Wout Weghorst pt 2

By: TSG Hoffenheim

You played for the Netherlands at the World Cup last year. Was that perhaps the biggest dream that has come true for you?

That was the absolute highlight, yes. It was crazy. In particular the quarter-final against Argentina, even though we lost on a penalty shootout. I wasn't even aware of a lot of it, it was only when I saw the pictures that I realised what had happened. I came on when we were 2-0 down, but everything worked out for me. It was like a frenzy

You mentioned the game against Argentina: you scored two goals and also scored in the penalty shootout, but you were still eliminated. Do you still look back on that game with pride or is disappointment the prevailing feeling?

I've learned to appreciate moments like that. But of course you still think about it. If we had won, the semi-final would have been against Croatia; we would've had a chance there too. The question mark remains about what would have been possible for us if we had survived the penalty shoot-out. But in the end, pride prevailed. When I went to bed afterwards, I knew immediately that this was a very special game for me. I couldn't sleep for two or three nights

But the game is also always associated with your conflict with Lionel Messi. Do you think that's a shame?

No. I was just the way I am. And I don't care whom I'm facing on the pitch. I came on, quickly scored to make it 2-1 and then deliberately sought contact with Messi in a challenge. I wanted to apologise and lift him up, but he didn't take my hand. Then it got out of hand. But it's no longer an issue for me. I see it as a compliment that such a great player was upset with me, I earned that on the pitch through my performance. But I've always been respectful. I don't know what I should have done differently

Messi called you "bobo" in an interview, which can be translated as idiot or fool. Did that hurt you?

Absolutely not. When I joined Manchester United, I met Lisandro Martinez, who also won the World Cup with Argentina. In the first training session I noticed straightaway that there was still a certain level of tension; then I called him "bobo" once and the ice was broken. From then onwards, the boys in Manchester always called me "bobo" and then it became a big thing. (laughs)

Are you someone who sometimes causes trouble?

That's hard for me to judge. I'm just me. I am extreme in everything I do. Not only as a footballer; I do everything with pure passion and try to do my best. You do learn of course and as you get older, you also become a bit calmer. But all in all, I don't worry too much. That's not always beneficial either, but I've never done anything to please anyone. Everything I do, I do out of full conviction. Whether it's on the pitch or at home with my family

You have three daughters, so you're at home with four women. Is that sometimes demanding?

I don't feel under any strain at all, it's super. I had a lot of dreams as far as football is concerned, whether it was the Premier League or the World Cup. For my private life, I always had one dream: lots of children, preferably four girls. Now there are three, let's see if there can be one more. (laughs)

Has starting a family changed you?

I became a father for the first time when I was 25; that really changed a lot. You see a lot of things from a different perspective. Until that point it was just football, 24 hours a day. I gave everything for it every day and put everything else on the backburner. When my first daughter was born, a lot of things changed. I still have the same ambitions and the same desire on the pitch, but I'm really different on a personal level too. My family is very important to me, they have always accompanied me, even through all the transfers

You now live with your family in Germany again. How does it feel to be playing in the Bundesliga again after one and a half years?

The Bundesliga was a league that suited me well back then. But I always dreamt of playing in the Premier League; that's why I moved at the time. Thanks to TSG, the opportunity arose to come back to Germany this summer. I've always felt at home in Germany and been held in high regard. That's why I had a good feeling about playing in the Bundesliga again right from the beginning

The past year and a half has been very turbulent. You played for Burnley, Besiktas and Manchester United. What have you taken away from that time?

Despite all the transfers, it was a super experience. I became even more mature and developed not only as a player but also as a person. At Burnley, I played in the Premier League for the first time and fulfilled my dream. In Istanbul, I experienced a passion from the fans that you can't compare to anything else. And then came Manchester United and my chance to play for one of the biggest clubs in the world. I made a lot of appearances there, so that was another childhood dream that came true

How do you look back on your six months in Manchester?

I went there after the World Cup; it all happened very quickly. I played many games from the start; we won many matches and also the League Cup. But in the end – and I have to admit this to myself – I didn't score enough goals. As a United striker, you are judged by that. There's no need to sugarcoat it, two goals in 31 games is not enough. But that didn't lessen the appreciation from the United fans, because they realised that I always gave 100%. That's why it was a wonderful time

But you still scored a goal at Old Trafford, against Real Betis in the Europa League. Take us into your emotional world after that moment.

I said in my first interview that I could hardly wait to score my first goal. It normally happens faster for me, but I had to wait a few weeks. But after the goal against Betis, all the emotions came out of me; it was a very special moment for me. It was to remain my only goal at Old Trafford. That makes it special in retrospect

[silasea]

Jasper,

Words can only do so much to describe what I’m feeling right now. Part of it i think is denial— and disbelief that you’re gone.

I remember the day you were born. I remember telling my mom that you were the cutest thing in the world. The head the size of an orange and eyes the size of grapes. You were so small, a premie my aunt explained. You came fighting into this world from day 1. You were the most adorable baby. Your cheeks would turn red from the amount of times I kissed them. I felt so protective of you like the others — from the start. You grew up to be wild free and rebellious, and you always needed to have the last word. All the tough love in the world couldn’t tame you — I learned that the hard way. As a child you were always calm. I jokingly would call you my favorite to tease the others. It’s funny how certain moments in life come full circle. I remember being very young and hearing my aunt cry late at night. A wail that I never wanted to hear again. Your sister had jokingly texted her that you had passed away in a car accident. I remember your mom’s sobs and cries, they’re etched into my brain. It had only been about 10 minutes until we found out that the whole thing was just some inappropriate joke, made by an innocent child who didn’t understand the depth of her words. I remember you coming home that night fine and healthy as ever and I remember hugging you so tight. God forbid anything ever happening like that I prayed. That night I had nightmares of losing you, and I’d wake up each morning making sure you were ok, hugging you extra tight.

I felt so protective of you. More like an older sister than a cousin. From our roast sessions to our Mario kart sessions to spontaneous trips to the amusement park, and your crazy pranks. I’ll choose to remember you in that light. And although we grew apart and life has its way of throwing shit at us, you were still my favorite cousin.

I remember the night last year, my mom finally broke the news of your accident. I froze and blanked out for a bit phasing back to that dreaded night of our childhood. This could not be happening. I remember reaching out to your sister and all she told me was to pray.

You were in the ICU and touch and go for a while and then you were better, and then you were sick again and then you got better again. You fought hard for almost a year. There was no doubt in my mind you were going to make it, you made your way out so many times. I was sure you would show up at my doorstep one day and everything would be in its right place. With you making your witty remarks and spreading your laughter. You had to make it. There was no future I had imagined without each and every one of you. Your mom was distraught and didn’t know how to handle it all. We were kept away from seeing you. She blamed my brother a lot for what happened. You loved to follow his footsteps. So when my brother got a motorcycle of course you wanted your own. I could understand her pain and her reason to blame us, as misguided as it was. But it killed us all not knowing how you were. Grief has strange ways of manifesting itself. I only got updates of you from my mom— whatever she could manage to find out from your grandmother. Your mom completely shut us out.

I can’t imagine the grief she must be going through now. All I can remember is her wails that dreaded night. Child loss is the hardest grief to experience. They teach you that in nursing school. All I want to do is hug your mom and sister—just to help absorb some of their sorrows. But time heals all, and that’s my only solace.

I can only end this by saying I will remember you forever in my heart. You’ll live through my thoughts. I will remember you by your laughter, your witty remarks and your rebellious and strong nature. I love you Puru. Forever and always.

Your favorite cousin,

— Jassu

[dzpenumbra]

6/19/23

It's cold out. I had to close my window. It's like 50F out right now, I had to put a hoodie on.

I streamed again tonight. I... okay, I'll get back around to how that went, I wanna talk about one moment in particular.

The work I've been doing has been super meditative. I mean... like... very repetitive, very intuitive, just drawing shapes over and over and over, filling space. And I've been listening to trippy music to go with it, like the old days. Like back in college. I really miss studio art nights, and streaming is really an attempt to bring that back. So... I started with Casualties of Cool, because that's like... my go-to studio space-out album. It was great, I got a lot done. Then I took a break to play Session for a bit, that was fun. When I came back, I put on Devin Townsend's The Puzzle album, which I never really sat down and fully absorbed. I was fucking so deep in my head it's not even funny. I was just... gone. And I was streaming. Again... to no one... but still.

There was a point in the album that was like... there was a voice clip that was talking about how your suffering is less about the things that happened in your life, but more about how you react to it. And it got me. I just started wandering mentally off of that. And I started to go down some dark corridors in my head. Of like... times when I really should have been in jail, or died. Or was doing stupid shit that really... should have ended worse. Like... as unlucky as I feel... --- I mean, I was born on the 13th, I've always claimed that played into why I'm so unlucky --- even with that considered, I am so fucking lucky to be alive and without a criminal record.

Not because I ever really had bad intentions or even really hurt anyone, which of course is where my heavy heart came in and gave me a mini-anxiety attack. It's even starting now, I'm trying to calm it down. I feel like when I say "I should have been in jail", people assume bad intentions or malicious behavior. I was really bad with peer pressure. I was even hand-picked in middle school and high school to go to peer leadership programs... I guarantee it was because they could kinda tell I was susceptible to it. And I put my trust in the wrong damn people, who would kinda... pressure me to inch the goalposts of where my boundaries were more and more, you know... so I'd fit in... Trigger warning for drugs, if that's gonna be intense for you feel free to skip this and the next two paragraphs. First with booze, then with cigarettes, then with weed... then with mushrooms, then with "speed" (still don't know what that was, probably Adderall), then with acid, then with ecstasy and molly, then with coke... then with pills... which escalated to me actually trying heroin and not even knowing that was what it was. And I feel so fucking guilty... and stupid... for allowing myself to cede my own boundaries like that. To let people talk me out of my own comfort level, through deception and normalization. I don't like talking about this. I feel very ashamed. I don't even drink or smoke cigarettes, or even smoke weed anymore. I didn't even like being on prescription meds.

Some of the experiences, like weed and mushrooms and acid and ecstasy, were very much my choice and were actually really beneficial in the long run. Cigarettes too, that was my big one and I was totally fine with smoking those, and... in retrospect... they served a very practical purpose for me for over 15 years. The harder shit... I still feel dirty about it. Those days are over 10 years behind me. I just... feel like... okay... here's a story. The last time I was at the building that I live in right now? Before I moved in? I was on my college gap year visiting with friends from high school, they had friends who lived here. And they were in a coke phase. We all were drinking buddies, we all smoked cigarettes, and the charismatic leader decided to normalize coke... and regularly had it on him... and I went along with it. We all did. Call it experimenting, or just being social, whatever, I don't know. Well... I remember sitting in the parking lot at this building... with four of us in the car, with the windows up and fogged... passing a CD around the car and snorting lines off of it. And a fucking cruiser drives by behind us. And... stops. And for some reason... keeps going and leaves the parking lot. It had to be private security, not cops. It had to be. But man, I mean... I wouldn't have gotten slammed with that charge probably, because no possession... but yeah, it really wouldn't look good...

I don't know, maybe that story isn't that bad. It just feels dirty. I feel like coke is like... not something you talk about casually doing... even though everyone I did it with in college really did treat it like that. I don't know. I honestly didn't really enjoy it that much, it was like... way too much caffeine for like 15-30 minutes and then gone. And the worst hangover ever. And the drips were just obnoxious.

What hit me hard with looking back at the past was... the shame. And really just thinking... "I should have been a better person." I just started to type in that part of my brain's voice, and I realized... "should have's" are... depression. And shame. And I'm really just feeding it.

And I guess that's what that line in the song is about. How my suffering... that I'm imposing on myself right here and right now... is not as much because of the events themselves... because with that specific story? It was ultimately just me and my friends partying a bit, and it wasn't anything excessive. But how I react to it? Good lord. I'm emotionally reacting like I willingly gave nuclear codes to a Chinese spy or something.

You can't go back in time. In fact, a lot of theoretical physicists try to argue a theory that the past doesn't even tangibly exist. It's a going theory I heard, that time itself is basically like a series of present events that kinda blink in and out of existence, and the past... though we can presently remember it, no longer exists. It's a nice brain-bender to make the pit of your stomach churn a bit, if you really try to figure it out. (I have no idea how theoretical physicists sleep at night, this shit freaks me out.) Point being... if that theory is true, even if you could go back in time... there's no back in time to go back to. So why live in regret? Why live lamenting "I should have known better, I should have been better." Just... be good Now. Right?

I have a sign that I made, I've talked about it here before... It's got the same organic abstract pattern, but the bubbles are yellow and the membrane is two-tone green. And it has a black outline, it's on cardboard, and it has gold lettering on it saying "BE HERE NOW". It's the title of a Ram Dass book I was given ages ago, in a different life. I never really sat and worked my way through it, as such. I used that book when my brother and I would have jam sessions. I would do "divinatory singing" by picking a random page and sing verses from it, improvising a rhythm and melody, but using the words from the random page as lyrics. That was my primary use for that book. I still have it, it's on my bookshelf. And occasionally, I would just open it and flip to a random page and see what it had to show me.

The reason I chose the title "be here now" to put on the sign I made, is that my therapist was encouraging me to give myself reminders to be in the Now. To be present. Not mourning, lamenting and reliving in the Past. Not anxious, predictive and planning the Future. Just being present, in the Present. And that book title just immediately popped into my head. And I just pieced together exactly what it was saying. I remember being elated because of how genius its simplicity was. It says everything you need to know in as simple a form as possible. In a "who what where when why" kinda way. Who? The reader. Do what? Be. Where? Here. When? Now. Why? Well... XD

But that's the weird thing that I started to notice when I started to be more mindful of like... "when" I was, at different times throughout the day. Now is not just a temporal thing, it's kind of a "where". Like... yes, you're technically always "Now" because you're actively thinking... but like... from a perception of reality sense, when you go into memory, your experience of present reality is definitely altered. At least mine is.

And that was a big thing I experienced today. I disconnected from Now almost entirely. The music functioned as like... a medium for my imagination to just wander into the past. And the repetitive art functioned as basically a trance induction method. And I was like, I was eyes open and drawing, actively listening to the music and seeing a phantom montage of certain life events playing in my mind's eye simultaneously. Vividly. Which you can only really do when you're like... fully in autopilot. It was surreal, I haven't had that happen in a while. So, that was a powerful moment. I used to aspire for moments like that, and this just happened completely unintentionally, after like 40 straight minutes of repetitive drawing.

But yeah, the anxiety from inadvertently accessing shame and trauma was a tough one. And... I have a strong feeling that part of the album had to do with exactly that. It was an insanely powerful album and it ended with a note that... I could see fans of his... and others who don't really understand what they're experiencing... would likely hear and fucking cringe so hard their skin would crawl. But it ended with a quote that visibly brought a big smile to my face, and I'm going back to get the exact quote now.

"Because your greatness lies in the wake of years of telling yourself that you are not good enough. That you are not capable. That you are not worthy of being loved. YOU ARE. You needed to know, so now you know."

:) On an unrelated note, I'm gonna take a pee break real quick.

So yeah, took an unplanned mental vacation down shameful memory lane, got a tremendous amount of work done on an art piece that I have no idea what I'm going to do with... and streamed for 4 hours to pretty much no one. But even with all those things considered, it wasn't a bad day. I got a raid from someone who used to watch my streams occasionally, only 4 people and they didn't stick around long... but it's the thought that counts. They said my work looked like stained glass, it was cool to hear another perspective on it. It was nice to actually talk to someone in chat, rather than just listen to music and draw, which just feels exactly like being offline, only I can't talk to myself. So... it hasn't been a bad day, it just left me wanting and envisioning more.

I keep stalling on setting up social media for my art and stream stuff. I think it's mostly this stupid "branding" bullshit that's throwing me off. Like... profile picture and banner and shit. But today, I did pull up my Insta and... look into somehow putting those posts on Tumblr. But I just... I don't know what I'm doing, and those pictures are on my phone, not on my PC... I just got frustrated and gave up pretty quick. Trying to do that after mindless drawing for 2-3 hours straight is a pretty tall order. The thought is there.

I think I need a day where I don't work on a major art project... and instead I just go around and organize things in my home. Clean a bit. Do dishes, do laundry. Maybe plant the beans. Then try the social media stuff? Which I think would basically just be dumping all the stuff off my phone onto my PC... and then making template posts for each piece which I can go and post in multiple places. Maybe?

I think if I can connect with people who like my art style... and then post there when I go live? It's a better chance of attracting people to chill in my streams. The whole point of it is basically... to have an open-studio. To show the behind-the-scenes on how the artist makes his work, getting to hang out in the studio with them. With concept and process-based art, that can be a game-changer. That's the entire goal, and then they can buy the final piece when I'm done too. Or even order commissions if I do that. Or get lessons. I love the concept of it. And, more than anything, I just fucking miss art studio hangouts. Creative time.

Good fucking lord, after my breakup... when I finally grew the balls... (after like 4-6 months of grieving that and several other losses...) I went into the spare room that, to me, was haunted as shit. Haunted with the memories of countless stupid pointless fights, and all the dark secrets she kept behind closed doors. Fights where she would just take something super personally, refuse to work through her feelings, hold me accountable for her feelings as though I committed a crime or something, and then fight until we both got exhausted, and usually she would retreat into the spare room and sleep there. The spare room was always intended to be a studio/study. A creative space and a work space. A place of creation, not destruction. And I "selflessly" gave that space - in the house that my parents were helping me rent, that she never paid a cent for - to her. And after 4-6 months, I reclaimed that space. And I made it into something close to the creative space I always wanted it to be. And I could not, for the fucking life of me, get anyone else to come and be creative in that space with me. My brother visited twice. I convinced an old "friend" to do art nights, he was an aspiring tattoo artist, and he committed to doing art nights weekly. He did 2 and ghosted. That space ended up being just my personal creative space... and my dog's bedroom. So... it worked out in the end, but... I've just had this gigantic empty hole in my soul where communal art creation needed to be. And streaming felt like a fucking godsend for that. Anyone, anywhere on the earth, can hang out with me in my studio and chat and share ideas and even work along with me, even from their fucking phone. So... it's hard - really hard - to be doing that... and have the door wide open, and have no one show up.

But, I can't expect people to just show up. That's super rare. So... I'm really hoping if people see my art on Tumblr and follow me... they'll see my posts about going live and maybe hop on by to get to know the artist and see how these pieces are made. And hey, maybe they'd even be interested in getting a piece for their home. Who knows.

Alright, not gonna give my depression wiggle room to like... convince me no one wants my shit. Gonna move on before he gets the chance to sink his claws into that one... I'm gonna move on to tarot and close out the night.

Past - Three of Wands, inverted (Implementation of a plan, launching of a new idea.) Present - Three of Cups, inverted (Celebration, calling in good fortune, joy.  Social gathering, a heartfelt belonging in a community.) Future - Ace of Swords, inverted (Intellect, apply logic and reason, Clarity and focus of mind.)

Three inverted cards. Fun fun. I've seen all of these before, some more recently than others. I quickly copy-pasted the meanings that I wrote but didn't really read them, I'm gonna try to just piece this together to see how well I do from memory.

This starts with Three of Wands, inverted. This is the start of a new idea... meaning... the implementation of that idea. Like... the Ace is the spark, the Two is surveying and planning, Three is putting the plan into action. It's "setting sail". But this is inverted. Either... struggling to put an idea into practice? Or delaying, or not engaging with a creative idea, not putting it into motion.

This is connected to inverted Three of Cups. Three of Cups is the party card. It's people gathering and celebrating together. The image is a toast, with good friends. And this... is inverted as well. Blocked or refused, not functional.

This connects to inverted Ace of Swords. Ace of Swords is... okay, I don't remember it super vividly. I want to say it's like... the access of memories and experience to create a clear present moment. I'm trying to piece it together from memory by looking at the image. The woman has a tree growing out of her hair, and the branches form a house and a couple and a woman reaching for a bird... and I feel like those represented past memories, experience. And she is bowing, wielding the Sword of Truth, that has an open eye engraved into it. I feel like that's present awareness and sharp focus. I'm going to check my reference. Yeah, it's kinda the same shit - using reason and logic. That, again, being inverted... so... blocked, or being presented and I'm not engaging with it, or causing disarray somehow.

So... connecting all the dots... I'm just gonna be transparent here. I've been back and forth about the digital piece I started working on. It's huge. And I'm really plugging away at it. I'm making a lot of progress. But it was supposed to be a prototype. I think it's going to take me weeks, if not months... even if I work on it several hours every day. I don't want to axe the project... but every time I talk about it on stream? I feel like I'm talking about a project that will never be finished. And... I'm afraid that I'm going to stubbornly go "NO, I'm going to finish it..." And get locked in to it. So... two other projects have been orbiting around this concept. 1). An ink piece on either a big piece of paper or cloth that is this same organic fractal design that I'm prototyping... but a physical version. 2). The micro Zen Garden idea that I've been gushing about the past few days, that I nerded out on again for like 10 minutes straight during my stream tonight.

Why the fuck am I talking about this? Well... Three of Wands is about putting a new creative venture into practice. Starting a new project. And... those are the two that are primed and ready, but waiting for this titanic digital piece to hop on the bench. So... when I saw inverted Three of Wands, I immediately thought of the micro Zen Gardens. Immediately. So... I think that's it. The project that I've been delaying and stalling and half-starting for almost 6 fucking months. This connects to... something blocking social connection. Social communion. I really do think the Zen Garden thing is much more universally appealing, something almost anyone can engage with. And something anyone could really want for themselves, as décor in their home. So... not engaging with and prototyping that idea... could be stalling or interfering with that Three of Cups moment. And that leads to inverted Ace of Swords... a lack of reason, a lack of clarity. Memory and experience in disarray. Ehhh.... but again, I don't like to read inverted cards as... "opposites" or "voids" or "not's"... so... let's phrase that differently. My delay of working on this micro Zen Garden idea could be interfering with opportunities for social connections, and the result of that is a difficulty engaging in logical focus. My focus is muddy, my vision obscured. See? It can be hard to read inversions. :(

Welp, regardless of what the cards are saying... I am pretty clearly saying that I really want to engage with this Zen Garden project. I should at very least just tack on a bag of sand from Lowe's to the next grocery order I make. Then I have it. I like the idea of doing a very minimal sand Zen Garden with some of the stones that I saved to be polished, but will likely never get around to polishing, and then raking designs into the sand using the stones as contours. That could be cool. All I need for that is a box of some kind that looks decent that can hold sand without leaking. That's it. The shallower the better, then I can conserve sand and do a bunch of them.

Cool. Well... so... what I've gotten out of this is... 1). I need a day to just organize my house and clean, do laundry, chill out, maybe order a pizza or something. 2). I need to figure out social media and develop a bit of a habit similar to this, but a fraction of the time and effort investment. 3). I need to go ahead with the Zen Garden idea and back off the big fractal digital piece as being my "primary" piece.

That's a lot. So... maybe I'll just start with number 1 tomorrow. :)

[always-anxious-skychild]

I said this before that Horizon is born from Eden and info dumps... It's really true. Their early character development happens in endless reblogs upon reblogs of ideas because I have no self control lmao.

They were developed when I got the Halloween horns and I was like: "Hey, what if there's a sky kid but with the opposite concepts and has this horns?" And thus, a "dark sky kid" was formed. The earliest concepts in the info dumps were:

-They were born in Eden.

-Krills likes them.

-They eat dark plants to survive.

-They cannot be near to children of light and vice versa.

-They were a loner but content.

The last two were scapped eventually (because I accidentally gave them a social circle plus roleplaying with Skyblr's OCs) while the third one was modified from requirement to just doing it for the lolz.

They didn't have a name immediately and when they did, I based their name from an alias of another OC that kinda inspired their personality. From "Event Horizon", I named them "Horizon"

Horizon is kind, will help everyone that he can. He has a bit of a dry humor, often sarcastic. He's a bit grumpy when sleepy which is mood. They can be a bit too focus on their projects and sometimes doesn't think of the consequences. They take a lot of jobs in the realms but they're most known as a researcher into improving the community and a historian of present events.

But what is Horizon? Well, they are certainly not a child of light but they are still under the skies' care. Why? They are not the darkness that blocks the light. They are the darkness that supports the light, that makes the stars shine brighter. They are the void that surrounds the stars in the night sky. They are the balance so that in order for light to shine, there must be darkness.

Also because of Horizon, I also have an impromtu worldbuilding session. Within a series of asks (made my good friend who tried to sneaky but failed) the question "if a child born in Eden has certain characteristics, does that mean children who fell into other realms besides isle also have certain different characteristics?" arises. Of course, I am not the only one who has this headcanon but my headcanon for this is:

- If Isle borns only have one light when born, non-isle borns's light starting quantity depends on the area they fell.

- Prairieborns have bird-like features (feathers and all) due to place being the home of "Bird's Nest" area. They have slightly higher light than Isleborns.

- Forest borns have slightly lower light. They are immune to the rain and cool to touch. They don't speak often/are soft-spoken because they like listening to the rain. They are often considered as most beautiful sky children.

- Valleyborns have the highest light when born, due to the area being a high place and the whiteness of snow making the area brighter/more light. However, they also have the risk of losing more light if hurt. They have manta characteristics, fluff and tail.

-Wastelandborns have half of the light. They have thick skin like a crab and tiny horns. Krills won't notice them immediately like other sky kids.

-Vaultborns doesn't exist until Starlight Valley was born. However, my friend made OC crashed into the vault walls thus, a vaultborn was born. They have starry-like freckles that can only be fully seen in the dark. They have normal light quantity like Isle borns.

-Edenborns doesn't have any light. They have krill characteristics (horns and tail) and are immune to everything that is harmful to children of light (rain, oil, the burn of the redstone). The most notable trait they probably have is that their journey is backwards, from Eden to Isle. Even if a child was born outside of Isle, their journey will always end in Eden but not them. Edenborns ascend to the skies in Isle and in contrast to their chaotic start of Eden, their ascension here is peaceful and quick, as if they simply fell asleep as they faded away.

Wastelandborns, vaultborns, and edenborns are associated to the dark/night, having slight aversion to very bright places (not to be confused with aversion to light like fire). You can say they shine the best in the darker areas.

fuck it

Skyblr: Reblog this post and ramble about your sky ocs. I wanna know everything. Looks, lore, relationships with other characters. You get the space to ramble.

[hongjoongscafe]

Stay with me

Part: 13 {serieslist}

|In the gloomy days|

Pairing: hamsterhybrid!hongjoong×reader

Genre: fluff, angst, smut.

Summary: she couldn't help but adopt the sweet and shy but stressed hybrid. Will he be able to open up?

Warnings: implied rape, nudity.

Word count: 2.4k+

Note: Namjoon is older than Jungkook but Jungkook is the senior officer.

Masterpost

ATEEZ masterlist

*Do NOT repost, plz*

A week passed by. Police were still trying their best to find evidence. All they knew was that Hongjoong ran away by his choice.

On the other hand, Hongjoong was being used and abused even more. Every day, the number of clients increased. They were filling up and as the Master said, he was covering up all the loss cost by Hongjoong's escape. 

Poor hybrid couldn't think straight. He was being fucked almost all the time. They even started the night hours. Hongjoong was sleep-deprived. He was waiting for a miracle to happen or he might die from the excess tiredness. 

Hongjoong was given just enough food to survive. His ribs started to poke out, cheeks became hollow. He always felt like he might end up collapsing in the middle of his session. It only got worse. 

Hongjoong was getting ready to be strapped up to his booth when his Master paid them a surprise visit. The Master looked so happy. He came towards the half-strapped Hongjoong. Master caressed his naked butt and patted it a few times. 

"Look at this. My best boy is all ready to take his sirs. No wonder why there is more demand for your tight ass. How the fuck do you manage to be tight after taking many dicks. Hmm? You were just born as a slut, to be a slut. Isn't that right? I think it is right," the Master smacked Hongjoong's both the ass cheeks. "Anyhow, today is going to be a bit different," Hongjoong started to panic. The different is never good. He observed the Master's reflection through his blurry eyes. "Today, you will be serving our biggest customer. They demanded you at their mansion for five hours and they offered $1,000 per hour. Get him ready by 6:30 PM. Dress my bitch beautifully and make sure there is no cum in his asshole. They will pick him up at the same time," the Master commanded and left after smacking his butt last time.

"You are in for a big deal buddy. I don't think that you will be able to even open your eyes tomorrow… not gonna lie, I kinda feel bad for ya," the man who was strapping Hongjoong said.

Hongjoong didn't know how to react or what to say. He just wanted to get over this. His mind was fucking with him internally. The darker thoughts took a higher pace in his mind. 

…

The day went rather quickly. The second client couldn't make it to the appointment and the third guy got a call. Not to mention that the Master postponed all appointments after 2:00 PM so that Hongjoong could take a rest and perform better later at the place he was going. 

Hongjoong was sitting in his room waiting for the guy to take him and get him ready. He knew he had to go through all of this to avoid any other type of harm. He was already getting raped constantly. The idea of the Master's torture belt sent shivers down his spine. 

After waiting for a while, a guy came in and took the hybrid to the shower room where he got cleaned properly and then they gave him a hot water bath. He was shocked about all the treatment but it made him more scared.

'I must be going somewhere high-end. I have to be more careful today,' Hongjoong thought.

…

The days are rather gloomy. Where the surroundings were pink and purple are now blues and greys. 

Y/n was doing no good herself. Constantly waiting for her dearest Hongjoong to return. Seonghwa and Wooyoung tried their best to keep your mind diverted. But they know too, that it's not that easy. Only Jungkook and you know how it feels to be away from your loving lovers. 

Jungkook and Namjoon were trying their hardest to find new clues. They forgot what mornings or nights were. All they know is that they had to find an innocent hybrid. 

By now, Namjoon understood that this case is more than just a case for Jungkook. His emotional side was peaking at a certain level. He took this case more personally. Namjoon wanted to know what his senior was going through but he didn't want to question anything. He was scared to touch his senior's wounds. 

Namjoon's wife was a fox hybrid. He couldn't imagine any of this happening to them. He felt relieved by the fact that she was in stronger hybrids and no one bothered her. But his heart goes for you and Jungkook. At least he knows that Jungkook has lost someone near and dear to him by Namjoon's experience. 

The officers checked all the possible hideouts. They even checked the last place Hongjoong was seen. Most of the people didn't see him. But a lady in the streets did. But she wasn't aware of where the hybrid went. 

Jungkook felt like falling flat. No matter what he tried, he fell back to square one. Every single thing was failing him. He couldn't save Han but he wanted to save Hongjoong. Nevertheless, he didn't want to give up just yet. He wanted to do something as long as his capacity allows. He was ready to break the limits for the hybrid and the depressed woman who was compromising her health every day. 

…

As the Master informed them, the two men came and took Hongjoong with them. Hybrid's eyes were blindfolded. Not that he was going to go back or do something bad but they didn't like the idea of risking. 

The place looked far too ornate. He felt like he didn't belong there. People there were dressed elegantly. Their perfect faces were breathtaking. It all smelled expensive. It was classy. He wondered if you and he would look good together in such a place. He was imagining you in an expensive gown. 

'She would look like an angel,' he smiled at the thought of it. 

He was swiftly escorted behind the tall doors. There were many fine men. All dressed up in beautiful tuxedos. But that was not all, there were other hamster hybrids too, who were being used. There were four of them and five if he was included. 

"Look at that hot meat. They say his asshole is to die for. Always warm and tight," one of the rich men said, pointing in his direction. 

"Mr. Smith, you made my night even younger. I think I can use his hole for my life," a shaggy man commented. 

"Come here, my love," what seems like Mr. Smith, called Hongjoong. 

Hongjoong stepped small steps toward the man. When he reached him, the wealthy man started touching him. Slowly, he removed his clothes until Hongjoong was left only in his underpants. 

Just like the other four hybrids, he was being used like a bitch. They had no mercy on him. They went on and on without breaks. It was a tough time. He wasn't well-fed to get through this all. They used him in as many ways possible. 

As informed, they drilled into him for five hours straight. Hongjoong was sure that by this time, his insides had broken. Oh, the pain made his head go around. He remembered the words of the guy from the morning —

"You are in for a big deal buddy. I don't think that you will be able to even open your eyes tomorrow… not gonna lie, I kinda feel bad for ya," the man who was strapping Hongjoong said.

He wasn't lying. Hell, he probably won't be able to open his eyes for the rest of the month. 

Hongjoong looked down and saw his legs covered in people's arousal and release along with his own blood. He was terrified. Thinking about the next day's appointments made him shiver in terror. 

…

By the time they were done, Hongjoong's body was hurting. His lower parts were covered in blood and his face was covered in drool and nasty cum of the unknown people. 

He was now going back to his Master's place. While the ride began, his mind slipped away. He was thinking about his life and how it turned out to be.

He didn't choose to be this. He was threatened by this whole fuckery he had to go through to live his life. He was forced to take dicks and be degraded. He was living a life that even the demons of hell would show mercy on him if they see him like this.

Hongjoong was sad about the people who faked their issues. He hated the people who claimed to be sexually abused just for public attention. How could they not appreciate their perfect life? Did they not think of the people who have gone through this and their oh-so harsh traumas, that never left their dreams? 

It is no fun to be raped. It is no fun to have mental health issues. They are no trends but people fucking make them. How could the world be this unfair where they fake things that have made other people's life a living hell. Is it so fun for them to hurt themselves for no real reason other than attention? 

Hongjoong was going through this, but it was no fun. He was so ready to slit open his wrist but he wasn't doing this for attention. He wasn't having fun when his nightmares were filled with filthy people touching him and the picture of his dead parents or him being beaten to almost death. He wasn't having fun. Neither are the people who are going through this. No one who is crying for at least one hour of good night's sleep without haunting nightmares was having fun. The person who hung themselves because their inner demons were dancing on their head wasn't having fun. They all were dying. They all were hollow to feel anything. They were killed before their lives even began. They were killed inside before they even got to enjoy their lives. 

Hongjoong's thoughts were halted when the car stopped. His blindfold was removed and was taken back in. He stumbled back in. But all while, no one knew about the eyes of the lady who watched the hybrid being forced back. 

…

It was around 11 at night. Both the officers were walking back to their station after their search. This search led them to no lead. They were frustrated. 

"Hyung…?" Jungkook called in a weak voice.

"Hmm?"

"I feel like a failure," Namjoon looked towards the other officer. "I have trained for so long. I have solved a decent amount of cases. But I feel like a failure today. I feel like every single second I have invested in this field has gone to waste. I can't even find an innocent hybrid," Jungkook's eyes were pouring. 

"Jungkook, you are not a failure. Things are messed up a bit, I know. It's tough. But it's not your fault. My man, you are doing whatever you can. I'm sure we are going to find our little hybrid. We will give y/n her loving hybrid back. I just wish he is somewhere here hiding," Namjoon patted his back. 

"How are you so sure, Hyung?" Jungkook questioned. 

Namjoon looked at Jungkook with a dimpled smile, "because you are working your ass off, my senior," they giggled. 

"Yes, I am," Jungkook whispered.

After their conversation, officers collected their stuff from their desks and started preparing to leave. 

"Sir!" Namjoon called for Jungkook.

"Hyung! Don't call me that! At least not when we are off duty," Jungkook whined.

"An officer is never off duty," Namjoon joked. 

"Ah, Hyung, what is it?"

"Why don't you join us tonight, hmm? My wife said that she is gonna bring food today and their restaurant makes delicious food. And you will not be alone tonight," Namjoon offered. 

"Ah, I don't wanna burden you and your wife, Kim," he rubbed his neck nervously.

"I insist," Namjoon smiled.

"Alright, to Kim's house we go," Jungkook smiled widely and started taking steps towards his car as if he was marching. 

…

Namjoon showed Jungkook the guest room and gave him a fresh towel for him to use after showering. Jungkook was feeling better at his junior's place. He was usually alone at his home at this time. The memories of Han would cloud his mind and he would drown in the flood they caused. But this was nice if not the best.

Miso– Namjoon's wife– was still not yet home. So the officers decided to watch a movie in the meantime. 

The door clicked open indicating Miso's presence. Namjoon got up and quickly embraced his fox. He kissed her lips gently and asked her about her day. 

"Jungkook, meet my wife Miso," Namjoon introduced, "and he is my senior, Miso."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, officer Jungkook. I hope you feel at home here. You can stay here for as long as you want. I'm not even joking. This offer stands for real," Miso offered her soft to Jungkook for a handshake. 

Miso was a kind sweetheart. She loved to help others and offer them help. Namjoon was attracted to her because of this in the first place. Although she was a fox, she had the heart of a soft bunny. 

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Kim. I am feeling at home. But I hope I'm not causing you any trouble," Jungkook was genuinely glad. She gave him a welcoming feeling and he appreciated it. 

"Oh hush! No one is causing me any trouble. Just relax. Joonie and I will serve," she smiled. 

"Ah, no. Let me help too!" Jungkook happily helped them.

They were having their dinner and chatting in between. Namjoon's wife turned out to be extremely nice. It was nice for Jungkook to hang out with them. For once he could keep Han's memories aside. He needed to move on but it's not that easy.

"Namjoon?" Miso called.

"Yes, love?" Namjoon looked at her.

"Remember I told you about a hybrid that ran away?" She questioned.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"I was locking the restaurant tonight and a land rover stopped in front of that building and a hamster hybrid was forced inside of the place. I looked at him carefully and it was the one who ran away. He was not in good condition. I could see blood patches around him," after listening to that, the ears of the officers perked up causing the fox hybrid's ears to perk up at the situation. 

Jungkook quickly shuffled through his pocket and after tapping around a few he showed her a picture.

"Was that hybrid him?" He asked with hope in his eyes. 

Miso looked at the picture. She was carefully looking before saying—

"Yes, that's him."

.....

Sanaa's note:

I hope you like this part.🙃

The behavior of all the characters is visualized.

Taglist:

@sungiesangel @untitled76543 @bbc-minji-oc @tenelkadjowrites @hongjoongtrasher @paralumanniluna @shiningstar-byulxx

@ryo-84 @yunhosleftpinky @damselindistressanu @r000l @bikiniholic @playboygeniusphilanthropist @hippohippo @hwachu @veneziamadness @solarswonderland @cheline @gayliljoong

@giulianacelestino @yeosangsbiceps @lose-lose07 @nymeriaaa @yoonjikim

*lemme know if you wanna be added to the taglist*

*original pictures are not mine, I just edited them*

Have a nice day/night💓

[restlessmaknae]

finite forever [p.s.h]

➳ Characters: boyfriend!Sunghoon x reader/you

➳ Genre: angst, break-up au

➳ Words: 973

➳ Warning: - (apart from the angst)

➳ A/N: Part of my enhypen series ‘heartbreak anniversary’.

➳ Recommended song: give me time by new hope club

➳ Taglist: @hyunjinswife, @lhsng, @dat-town, @winterbeartaehyungbestboy, @laaylaazyy, @effulgentfireflies, @hira127, @sweetjaemss, @soobin-chois

Nothing lasts forever, but Park Sunghoon, he thought that you two would.

Puppy love was how it started; a crush born under the watching eyes of the early morning sunrise as you two made your way to high school, an oddly growing sensation of secretly stealing glances in the hallway, storing subtle smiles in the back of his mind, abrupt skips of his heartbeat whenever you called his name, daylight turning to night skies and night skies turning to daylight as you didn’t leave his thoughts, nestling into the corners of his overthinking self, of those big what ifs and secretly rehearsed innocent confessions.

Park Sunghoon has never been good with words, but for you, he wanted to write a song, a poem, a book or whatever that he could put his heart and soul into, yet it was difficult. More difficult than bearing himself to look away when you caught him staring at you with those dreamy eyes, more difficult than toning down the spike of jealousy whenever he saw you talking to other boys.

He has never believed in love before, he has never believed in forever, but with you, he wanted to believe in it.

So when words slipped out, long hidden feelings came to the surface at the most ordinary corner store in existence, bumping into you between two rows, the most extraordinary thing happened; you liked him back. Hope blossomed in his chest and it didn’t stop growing with the passing days, weeks, months and now years. It grew into a tree that was steady, unwavering under the hostile whistle of the wind, resilient against the storms of teenage uncertainty, growing through the times of despair, loss and change as you two have turned from high school students to university students.

Just like how seasons change, your relationship has gone through a lot, too. Late night study sessions in the library, hands held under the table to avoid gazes from others turned into late night study sessions in aesthetic little cafés until closing hours without caring about what others thought; clumsy confessions that have been well rehearsed but have never seemed to come out right turned into spur-of-a-moment words of gratitude, heartfelt and inimitable; walking down the same old hallways in your old-worn - a bit tight in some places and a bit too loose in others - school uniform turned into walking down the streets of the big Seoul in clothes you have chosen after spending too much time thinking what the other would think of it.

You have both grown, you have both changed, and it was for the better most of the time. Change has impacted your relationship in more than one way, but Sunghoon kept believing in forever, he held onto it tight like a secret meant to stay a secret, the key to his once closed-up heart, the promise of a future with more certainty, happiness and an unchanging company.

However, you seemed to have a different opinion on forever.

“Don’t you think it’s funny that a word like forever exists when people say forever doesn’t actually exist?”

Sunghoon didn’t think too much of it back then, he just shrugged it off, dusting it off like he would with some clothes of his.

“Forever might exist in some cases,” he objected nevertheless, more like a mumble to himself than a starter of an argument, but that day, you made him question whether forever existed and whether you imagined your forever with him.

It was subtle, just like the way you two became parts of each other’s life, it was subtle when you started growing apart from each other, leaving less and less footprints in the other’s life, less and less words to ponder over or smile about, less and less times to warm hearts, yet more and more time to feel alone.

It has been so long since Park Sunghoon felt alone that when it became more and more apparent that there was so much space between you two when you slept, more and more silence when you walked down the streets together and more and more iciness when you talked, he didn’t know what to do with himself.

See, he has never been good with words, and he hasn’t dared to ask about it, he rather watched how it unfolded, seeing the love grow old, seeing it grow cold and dull, seeing it change into the bitter aftertaste of summer ending and fall replacing it with its falling leaves and chilly mornings, and seeing the tree of your love withering, trunk becoming rusty and lifeless. He has just dragged it out long enough, trying to give you and himself time to change it, to deal with it or to accept it for the better, but you have changed.

You have both changed. You weren’t the same high school sweethearts you once were, living with your parents, living in the town you have both grown up in. You were adults away from home, catering to yourself, studying and working, and eventually, leading very different lives. You have both changed, and it seemed that for you two, this change wasn’t for the better.

So when Sunghoon’s first confession:

“I’m sorry for liking you. I hope you don’t feel pressured to like me back.”

Turned into your last words:

“I’m sorry for not loving you enough lately. I think it’ll be better if we went our separate ways.”

He knew that you have long accepted that forever doesn’t exist, but he hasn’t. He has begun to hope that it does exist, but with you leaving, he knows that forever is merely a word, a hope for humanity, a promise for something no one can promise, and maybe a confession in itself, but forever itself doesn’t exist. Love does but forever is - just like any of us - finite.

A/N: Thank you for reading my story! ❤️ If you’re interested in the other fics in the series and want to be tagged when the other members’ stories come out, send me an ask/DM, and I’ll add you to the taglist. Hope you have a lovely day/night! ❤️