#this was bigger but there was too much empty space and I wasn’t about to do a background Lol

[number1liftyandshiftyfan]

requesting more petunia x shifty plz

This was the perfect excuse for me to draw out this idea I had 🥹

she’s washing him cause he smells like garbage 🙄 (he doesn’t mind)

[tonycries]

Unmistakably Yours - G.S.

Synopsis. In which the strongest bends space and time - literally - after coming back from deatḣ, to do what he’s always wanted to do - you.

Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, best friends to lovers, Satoru goes a little (very) INSANE, oral (fem receiving), fíngering, manga spoilers, use of jujutsu powers, unprotected, créampie, spitting, overstim, féral Satoru, heinous things, happy ending, pet names, swearing.

Word count. 4.5k

A/N. Yeahhh that poll was cooking up something devious heheh. Gege give me back my man.

Gojo Satoru was going to kill someone.

He was going to kill someone and it didn’t matter who. It didn’t matter how. It didn’t even matter if he had to haul his broken body - scarred and barely-healed - out of this stiff infirmary bed, because the great Gojo Satoru awoke and the world shook.

Because you weren’t here.

“Ah. The oh-so deadest one, I see you’re awake.” Satoru flinches at the sharp, exhausted drawl from his left. 

Slowly, he blinks away the haze in his aching eyes, desperately trying to adjust to the cold room. Shoko’s voice was too loud. The lights too bright. His waiting arms too empty - where were you? 

With a low hiss, Satoru’s body is moving before his mind, sitting up like a man possessed. Goosebumps prickle his skin as the thin blanket falls off his shoulders. Temples throbbing because the world was spinning and spinning and you-

“Calm down, Satoru.” Shoko sounds almost panicked now - as much as she could, anyway. Uselessly trying to push him back onto the mattress. “I don’t care if you’re the ‘strongest’. Sukuna did a number on you and you have to rest-”

“Where is she?”

---

It was the final nail on your coffin - that slight, steady rumble beneath your feet. So fleeting that you’d written it off as your weary brain, too goddamn tired from today. Heaving out a sigh, you rub your eyes in frustration, so fucking alone in this too-large penthouse. 

Fingers jittery, you rifle through your best friend’s closet for his box of blindfolds, because you knew he’d be complaining about the sensory overload at the infirmary if- when he woke up. Though, you think that was more an excuse for Shoko to send your wrecked self away than anything. 

Grabbing a few more than necessary, your heart lurches as you eye that dusty framed photo by his bedside. A much younger Satoru, Suguru, Shoko, and you - probably the last time any of you smiled so carelessly. 

One dead and the other just on the cusp of it.

He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay. He’s the strongest, right?

Swallowing heavily, you try to put your mind to something - anything - other than the memory of that battlefield and the blood. So much blood. Everywhere. 

God, you should’ve stayed. What if Satoru-

That was when you felt it. 

The tight, uncomfortable feeling of atoms standing at attention all around you. The air was so stagnant and heavy that it was almost hard to breathe. 

You don’t know how you realize what it is - but you don’t get the chance to wonder about it either. Because the thought has barely even crossed your mind before everything else is thrown at the window at those two words. 

Hoarse, and whispered, voice ever-so-slightly cracking at the end. One you recognized, one you knew you always would.

“My love?”

Satoru.

It was a miracle that you didn’t get whiplash from how fast you whirled around to face the doorway - and it was an even bigger miracle that you didn’t trip at how your legs were carrying you to that tall, familiar flash of white hair without a second thought. 

Hell, you don’t think you’ve ever run this fast in your life, and it still wasn’t quick enough when Satoru engulfed you in his arms. Letting out a soft sigh as he hugs you tight enough that it hurt, like he never wanted to let go. 

All familiar warmth and a rapid heartbeat that matched your own. 

A shiver runs down your spine at that scent of the infirmary, tinged with something so dangerously metallic, miles away from the usual hints of pine and candy. But you only pull Satoru closer - not even realizing the tears staining his snug t-shirt, nails digging into his sculpted back. 

“S-Satoru?” you murmur wetly, as if you still couldn’t believe it - even when you were in his strong arms. 

It killed you to pull away, and Satoru wasn’t any better, pulling you firmly to his heated body with a guttural grunt as soon as you showed any signs of shifting away. Grip almost bruising, fingers tight on your hips. But you didn’t mind, why would you? 

Because the strongest was nothing under your will - he always was. And it’s only once you break the embrace just a fraction of an inch that you confirm that this actually was Satoru - your Satoru. 

“You’re here.” you breathe out unsteadily, not knowing where to look first - his heaving chest, as if he’d run all the way here, or those faint scars along his exposed skin. Jagged, running down his pale skin like he was too impatient - too distracted - to let them heal properly. Satoru’s face was scarily blank, pretty lips set in a tight grimace like every second you weren’t locked in his arms killed him. 

He doesn’t answer - like he didn’t know himself. Nervously, you raise your eyes to meet his and-

Oh, Satoru, he was here. Alive.

Looking like he was ready to make sure that no one else was.

You just wondered where they’d pile all the casualties. Too many to bury at Jujutsu High if those tiny blue flickers of lightning at the corners of Satoru’s eyes were anything to go by. 

Gaze hooded, pupils blown, he didn’t look at you with that usual warmth. No, he looked at you like a man that had crawled back from death just to rip you apart. And you had half the mind to wonder whether this was some special grade curse that had just come disguised as your best friend. 

“Are you okay?” you try again, raising a hand to cup his cheek. “Toru?”

Oh, you might as well have just signed your own will, because no sooner are the words out of your mouth before Satoru’s jolting. Like the mere sound of that stupid little nickname from high school was enough to shock him to his very core. 

Electrify him just enough to finally look at you like it was the first time. Like he was seeing you after a thousand years. “My love.”

There it was again, that quiet, strained little mantra. 

Followed very closely by the deafening slam! of the door behind him, so hard that you spy one of the hinges rattling off. Startled, you look over Satoru’s broad shoulders just to catch a glimpse of the single, large handprint charred into the wood, slight steam wafting from his hand.

Shit. He’s lost it.

Almost like the strongest has forgotten his restraint - or didn’t care about it either way. Heated, you wondered what this boded for you. 

Will you be lucky number one on his kill list? You wonder, as Satoru presses his mouth right above your pulse. Racing. Dangerous. Feeling the rapid thump! thump! thump! under his lips.

Breathing you in, dragging his nose up, up, up- He mutters into your skin, “Y’can kill me if you don’t want this.” Will you go down - if there’s anyone left to remember, that is - as the casualty that surely and officially signaled the honored one’s descent into madness? Only the second best friend he had to kill?

Or, Satoru pulls away slowly from his little haven, breath ghosting your lips as he gasps out a shaky, “No God can take me away without doing this.” Will it be something else entirely?

And then he’s kissing you - and you’re kissing him. 

Because fuck, how could you not? This is Satoru, and this is all you’ve ever wanted since those late night convenience store runs in high school, hand-in-hand and teleporting away from a furious Yaga.

The same Satoru that had cockily winked at you goodbye before facing Sukuna - leaving you crying with nothing to hold onto but those cold, cold hands and wishes that you’d have just fucking kissed him before. Maybe even put aside your pride to just tell him.

But none of that mattered now, because Satoru was so desperate - drinking you in like you were the last breath of air on Earth. Like it hurt more to part with your lips than it was to be cleaved in half.

Such a mess of teeth and saliva, and you were addicted. Drunk off his sweet taste - like candy, almost, and those cheap mochi he always got from downtown - and the electricity pricking at you each time your skin grazed against his.

It almost hurt - but it hurt so good.

Gasping, you pull away for air - impossible with the way Satoru was like a madman, kissing your swollen lips again and again and-

“Toru!” you squeal, muffled through his lips. “Aren’t you-” His mouth drops into a soft oh! at the delicate strings of saliva snapping in the non-existent space between you two. Surging forward like he couldn’t help himself. “Battlefield- mmpf- now?”

With a pained grunt, Satoru finally halts, just a hair’s breadth from your lips. And if you were in any better state of mind, maybe you’d have noticed the brief flicker of blue lightning all over his body. The way the lights flicker. 

“Special curtain.” he pants against your open mouth, a muscled thigh shoving between your weakening legs. “Time barely passes in here.”

You don’t know what your head is reeling more from his words or his hands - hands that kill - caressing you like a lover everywhere. Unable to decide between your hips, to your ass, to your pretty pretty face. Kiss-bitten lips uttering, “Everyone’s waiting for you.”

“So?” Satoru lets out a humorless laugh. About an octave higher than usual, like he was at the end of his rope now. Eyes hazy and glowing, looking as if it took everything in him to not just tear off that uniform and take you right now. 

“But-”

“Shut up and let me ruin you, my love.”

Your back is hitting the mattress before you can even start to wonder what the fuck is happening. One second standing at the doorway and the other all sprawled out on Satoru’s bed.

Besides yourself, you blurt out, trying to make sense of the situation to both of you two. “Did- did you just teleport us?”

“Don’t know.” he answers. And Satoru sounded like he genuinely didn’t know, as bewildered as you were. Powers acting before him - way, way before he can think - as he fists your shirt in his hands. “Don’t care.”

And you half wondered whether Satoru was even aware of what he was doing as he pulls, down, down down. 

Rip!

It tears through the air - both the sound, and the way he’s just pulling your shirt to shreds. All depravity and no repentance as Satoru throws it behind God-knows-where. Buttons hitting the floor at a maddening little rhythm to which he was slowly losing his sanity. 

He was kissing you like he was angry - taking it out on your poor clothes. Because before you know it, he’s pulling your bra off. Fingers searing on your skin, skirt just tatters on the floor. 

“Waited too long.” he groans, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses down your neck. “Always wanted to do this.” And once he started, it was like Satoru just couldn’t stop, rambling into the valley of your breasts, “Ever since I first saw you and oh-”

That was it - only one look at your panties, all flimsy and drenched - and you’re back to wondering what Satoru’s kill count would be. You shudder as his eyes widen, letting out a strangled gasp from some deep, primal part of himself. Voice so broken and starved as he muses, “-can’t believe I waited this long.”

Shit. You weren’t making it out alive.

Immediately, Satoru’s dropping further down the mattress, easily pushing your knees up all the way till they were at your breasts. 

And it was so unfair. 

Unhair how he was still fully clothed, while you were spread so shamefully. Unfair how he was sliding his underneath your panties up and down, grazing your swollen folds. Up and down, up and down up and- Pooling your sweet sweet juices on his fingertips before pulling, marveling at how sinfully soaked they were. 

And it was like something snapped - maybe his whatever restraint he had left, probably you by the end of this. Because just a split-second later, Satoru’s tearing right through your panties. Not even taking a second to breathe before burying his pretty face into your dripping cunt. 

Unfair how you were liking it so dangerously. Being so used. 

And Satoru knows - he thinks, with whatever rationality he has left intact - that he wants to admire your pretty lil’ cunt. To finally drink in what he’s been dreaming about for years all these lonely nights. But, no, that’s for later - for a different Satoru, one that didn’t feel like he was going to fucking die if he didn’t taste you right now. 

“Ah! Hngh- T-Toru-” you arch into his hot tongue, as he licks erratically up your folds, long, sloppy movements of his tongue all the way from your base to your swollen clit. Lapping at your juices like he couldn’t stop.

“Tha’s right.” words muffled into your cunt. Throwing your legs over his sculpted shoulders. “Gimme more, use me. Use me- fuck fuck fuck- yeah.”

He sounded as delirious as you were already, flinching with each word spat into your sensitive cunt. Drunk off your pussy and so messy, like he was well and fully intent on ruining you. 

And it’s all you can do to sob so needily as he swirls his tongue around your sensitive clit. Seemingly unable to decide between sucking on it harshly and dipping into your sloppy hole. In and out. Wanting everything. Anything. 

“Fuck. S’too deep. Sh-shit.”

“Oh yeah?” he’s grinning, a cruel, cold little grin. You can feel it as he rolls his tongue against your clit over and over. “S’not deep enough.”

You pathetically try to close your legs around his head in shock, as the tips of his long fingers spread open your pussy further, teasing your entrance. 

But who were you against the strongest? The one that got everything handed to him on a silver platter since birth? Except you - until now, that is.

Because Satoru’s swatting thighs back open like it was a mere inconvenience, and feel your cunt clench in- fear? Anticipation? as you realize how gently he was throwing you around like a ragdoll, in comparison to that door from earlier. 

“No.” he sounds absolutely wrecked, babbling around your throbbing clit. “Need this- need you.”

And then he’s plunging knuckle-deep in your plushy pussy, so greedily that your slick is trailing down his wrist. Drinking in your pretty gasps of his name as he roams for that one spot he knows will have you seeing stars - only the best for his girl, right? The only thing on his mind right now, like a predator starved.

You can only tug on his hair and buck wildly underneath him, inching Satoru closer to where he was desperately searching for. Close - so close. 

“Toru-” you moan, like a prayer. 

But it wasn’t fast enough. 

Not for Satoru, at least.

Even through the haze in your eyes, you could make out that brief flash of electric blue in-between your legs, eyes widening as ah-

That cheat. 

You wondered if he even knew he was using his powers right now. Or whether Satoru was too far gone at this point. Way too smug with the way he hits that one spot. Hard. 

Ah, you quiver as something so dark sparks in his eyes. Looking like a man starved, that had finally come across his favorite meal. Moving with frightening accuracy as he pumps his fingers in and out, hitting it each and every time. 

“Shit, ngh-” you let out a shrill moan, “It’s too good. You’re so fucking-” 

One hand was so messy toying with your dripping entrance - the other digging into your hips. Dragging your sloppy pussy senselessly all over his mouth. 

Hard enough that you were sure it’d leave marks for tomorrow. If you even made it that long, that is, if the tiny shocks of electricity at his fingertips told you anything. 

Desperate. Violent, even.

So it only makes sense that your orgasm was the same. “Fuck- m’cumming m’cumming, fuck fuck fuck-” You’re shaking as you cum, crying out Satoru’s name and delirious little moans that you’d otherwise be embarrassed of. 

And he doesn’t stop. Not when you’re blinking your vision back. Not when you’re shying away from his tongue, the stars behind your eyes too much with each flick of his tongue. 

“S’too much- too- fuck, sensitive, Toru.” you whine, big fat tears clinging to your lashes. 

Ah, there it was again. Just when Satoru was beginning to think that he might just be veering into a state of mind that could be considered sane - you have to call him that goddamn nickname again. And it’s only driving him wild. 

Well, he muses, fumbling with the hem of his t-shirt, it’s really on you then. 

You let out a fucked-out little whine as Satoru finally takes his shirt off, revealing such milky, toned skin. All sharp curves and dips like he was sculpted so meticulously, going down, down, down and- Your breath hitches at the large, pink scar standing out of his torso, so uneven and fresh that you feel a fresh wave of tears - different ones, this time. 

You take a steadying breath, eyes unmoving from the injury. “Satoru-”

“No.” Satoru’s tone is firm, so different from the metallic tinkling of his belt. He was moving now, shifting in between your legs to kiss those tears away. “Need this. Need you. Need you need you need you so bad-”

“But your…” you trail off. The words catch in your throat as he finally unbuckles his belt, pulling down his pants just enough that his throbbing cock springs out, hitting his sculpted abdomen. Red, and so so angry, soaked in precum. 

He was so…massive. Now, you expected your best friend to have a big dick, but this was ridiculous. He was so intimidatingly long, thick enough that you could feel the slick beading out of your sloppy hole already.

Yeah, you definitely weren’t making it out alive. 

Satoru sees it too, of course, because his cock twitches furiously. A low hiss leaving those pretty pink lips before he’s spitting on your quivering cunt. Once. Twice. 

And you know that if this shameless bastard could use six eyes to find your g-spot, then he could’ve done the same for this. But, no, he lets some of it miss, splattering against your inner thigh, smearing all over as Satoru thumbs in his saliva with your slick. 

God, he was treating you like some object. Wordlessly throwing your legs over his shoulders, dragging his weeping tip down your swollen folds. So fucking filthy. 

And then you feel like you’re been split apart - because Gojo Satoru was unforgiving. As was his aching cock. He’s barely even pressing through the first ring of muscle, and you already feel like he’s pushing all the way into your lungs. 

“T-Toru.” you yelp, glancing down at the way your pussy was stretched so lewdly around his thick cock. Quivering as he keeps pushing and pushing and- no mercy. Absolutely none at all. “Can feel you so deep inside ngh- I don’t think I can…” 

“No no no no no-” he’s panting into your open mouth. Fucking into your heavenly cunt in mindless, shallow little thrusts just to squeeze deeper inside. “Need this. Want this. Always did. God, fuck fuck fuck, you can do it-”

“But-”

God, Satoru can’t help but kiss you - to shut those cute lil’ whines up more than anything, he’s sure he’ll cum right there and right now if he didn’t. 

Because Satoru wasn’t any better. Body bowing into yours, eyes rolling to the back of his head, mouth falling into a delirious oh! as he finally bottoms out. Balls smacking your ass too hard, your pussy too tight, you too beautiful underneath him. 

Blindly, he reaches for the headboard - white-knuckling it so hard that it’s a wonder it doesn’t break. 

It does - and later you’ll find a pile of splinters behind the bed. It’s just that neither of you notice. Too high off the feeling of Satoru’s cock pushing inside you. You’re clawing at his back now, gasping for air. Letting him fold you in half to filthily lick away the tears pooling at your cheeks. 

“Shit- y’got this, my love. You gotta- ah- Breathe-” he can’t even speak properly, sharp tongue so heavy. Eyes glowing with such insanity as he rocks his hips harder into yours.

He was right - you needed to breathe. To finally wrap your head around the fact that this was Satoru - your best friend - the same one that binge-watches sappy rom-coms with you after every breakup. Every. Single. One. Somehow, you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Both of you were barely-lucid at this point. And he was out of control now.

Funny, how in all his dreams when you were screaming his name - Satoru was always suave, methodical, playing with your pretty pussy like a fine instrument. Right now, he was anything but. Sloppy - like he didn’t have enough time, never would, even in this room where time slowed.

“Don’t you run away.” he grunts at the way you’re so adorably torn between running away from his cock and bucking for more more more- “Waited twelve fucking years for this. N’ m’gonna take it.”

You almost sob at the pressure as he laces his fingers on top of your head to slide you impossibly deeper. Down, down, down. “S’too good, Toru. Wan’ more-”

“More.” Satoru breathes, more to himself than anything. Eyes widening almost comically, a fucked-out smile spreading all over his face. “Y’want more even when you’re filled to-” He traces an invisible line halfway down your tummy. “Here?”

“Yes.” you gasp as he reaches down to toy with your throbbing clit, drawing tight, frenzied little circles. Balls smacking your ass so painfully, thumb pressing down right where his tip was hitting your cervix - as if he used six eyes to see. “Always wanted more. Always have, Toru.”

And you swear you could see something physically snap inside Satoru. Because his eyes glaze over, grin dropping instantly from his face. 

If you weren’t so cockdrunk maybe you’d have caught the way the bedroom lights flicker, the one down the hallway bursting. 

“Always, huh?” he’s muttering, grip on your body tightening like a vice. “Wanted more like me?” Rocking into you so sloppily, cock twitching so painfully as he speeds up. Fingers just as desperate - as depraved as his hips.

And this time, he doesn’t even have to use six eyes to find that one spot. Knowing your body well enough to hit it over and over until you were sobbing. “More more more more- fuckin’ take it then.”

At this point you didn’t know whether Satoru was always this ruthless in bed or you’d just broken him. It felt so good that it was almost scary. And your delirious mind wandered into the thought that maybe the bed would break - and your bones to follow. 

Well, they would have if Satoru hadn’t been using reversed cursed technique. But you didn’t need to know that just yet. 

“Satoru-” you squeal as he only gets more erratic.  “I’m…”

“Close?” Satoru’s grunting, smacking his lips against your own.

It’s laughable, really, that muffled question - because Satoru knew you were close. Losing his fucking mind, actually, at how you were squeezing so hard around him. Balls squeezing so painfully right now, but he wanted you to cum first - needed you to cum first.

“Yeah, so close. Wan’ cum- Ah! Please-”

“Then cum. Fucking cum, wan’ed this so bad.” he’s babbling deliriously. Little sparks of lightning visible even to your glassy eyes, fingers humming with a dangerous little energy that stimulated you so good. “Yeah, yeah yeah yeah fucking cum, wanna hngh-”

And then you are. So sudden and hard that you don’t even realize it at first. Just that you’re seeing stars behind your eyes, blood roaring in your ears. Rocking your hips into Satoru’s like such a slut. 

Oh, if heaven was really then the part of Satoru that can still form coherent thoughts thinks this just might be it. 

Because only the sight of you creaming all around his swollen cock and he’s cumming and cumming so hard that it hurts. Thick, hot ropes of cum that he can’t seem to stop. Doesn’t want to stop, and God he thinks he could cum until you beg and beg and beg it’s too much. Until you’re yelling for-

“Mercy!” you moan, head spinning with how fucking overfilled your pussy was. “Please, Toru-”

Satoru lets out a slight gasp, “Mercy?” Chuckling so cruelly at your dazed nod, “No mercy, my love. None at all.”

And God, it was so fucking hard to look at him too - eyes half-lidded and miles away, flushed and looking like he was anywhere but laid out on a hospital bed just a few minutes ago. In fact, Satoru looked like he was in heaven on Earth as he only milked his painfully hard cock on your snug pussy.

Pretty. Always so fucking pretty. 

And he kept whispering that, over and over in your ear as you both ride out your highs. Oh how he loved you.

Your eyes fly open, and Satoru knew he’d said that out loud. Shit. But, well, with the way you were immediately pulling him to collapse into your arms, he thinks he really doesn’t mind.

“Love you, love you. Love you so much. Always did, always wanted to love you- to fuck you.” You barely even notice him marking down your neck, sharp canines digging into the flesh like he wanted to break something. Hard enough that you distinctly wondered whether he was out for blood. “To ruin you.”

It was oozing out of you, both Satoru’s cum - dribbling down your legs in thick globs, pooling on the overpriced sheets below - and his power. Jolts of electricity running down all the way from your poor, abused cunt to your hazy mind. 

“So do it.” The air was crackling - crackling with intensity and the smell of jujutsu. It was in your veins, in your words as you whisper, “Ruin me. You’re the- ngh- only- one f’me, Toru. Always was.”

The lights go out. All of them - all across Tokyo, in fact. Shining so bright that it was blinding, until they burst. The last thing you see are his eyes - electrified with blue lightning, burning into your brain. 

And then it’s black. 

---

“I’ll be back before ya know it, my love.” he whispers against your forehead, cooing at the way you stir sleepily. “Gotta pest to take care of.”

Taking down that curtain wasn’t the hard part, the hard part was actually fucking regaining his senses enough to do so. 

And now, all cleaned up and fucked to sleep on his bed, you were looking so unbearably delectable that it made some part of Satoru just want to stay behind this curtain. To forget the waiting sorcerers on the battlefield. Saving the world be damned.

Well, no matter, Satoru had time. He was the strongest, right? After all, how could he give you the world if there was no world to give?

“N’ when I’m back, m’gonna kiss ya to death till you go out with me. Till everyone knows you’re unmistakably mine.”

A/N. GET IT - that unmistakable bit from the panel? 

Plagiarism not authorized.

[caplanbuckybarnes]

Drinkin’ Problem (Steve Rogers One Shot)

Summary: Steve gets as drunk as he’s able after the loss of you.

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, angst, sad Steve

WC: 754

Read on Ao3!

Drinkin' Problem - Midland

The bar wasn’t much, just a small, dimly lit hole-in-the-wall where nobody asked questions. Steve preferred it that way. It was one of the few places in Brooklyn where he could be alone, even when the place was packed. The regulars had learned to give him his space, and the bartender—an older man with a gruff demeanor—knew better than to make small talk. He just poured Steve’s drink, slid it across the counter, and moved on.

Steve swirled the whiskey in his glass, watching the amber liquid catch the faint light from the jukebox in the corner. It was an old machine, playing country tunes that Steve wasn’t all too familiar with, though they fit the mood. Right now, Drinkin' Problem by Midland was crooning through the speakers, its slow, mournful rhythm syncing perfectly with his thoughts.

They call it a problem, I call it a solution…

The lyrics hit harder than they should have. Steve wasn’t drinking because he liked it. Hell, he could probably go days without touching the stuff if he wanted to. But it wasn’t about the whiskey. It was about *her*.

He took a long, slow sip, feeling the burn of the alcohol as it slid down his throat, dulling the ache in his chest—but just barely. He’d thought he could handle the pain. After all, he’d survived wars, fought gods, and saved the world more times than he could count. But nothing prepared him for this. For the silence. For the emptiness that swallowed him whole when she was gone.

It wasn’t just her. God, she was a wound that had long since scarred over, even if it never fully healed. But this…this was different. She’d been real. Present. Someone he could’ve built a life with. The life he’d been trying to live in the shadows of being Captain America. But she was gone now. Another casualty in a life full of them.

He could still hear her voice in the quiet moments, the way she’d call his name with that soft laugh of hers. The way she’d lean into him when the world felt too big, too heavy. She’d been his anchor, the one person who didn’t see him as just the man out of time or the symbol of freedom, but as Steve. Just Steve.

Now, all he had left were the memories—and the whiskey to help him live with them.

He downed the rest of his drink, feeling the warmth spread through him, numbing the edges of his grief. For a moment, he thought about leaving the bar. Heading back to the empty apartment that waited for him. But what was the point? The silence there was worse than the noise here. At least here, the clinking of glasses and the hum of the jukebox kept him company, even if they couldn’t fill the void she’d left behind.

Another drink appeared in front of him. He didn’t remember asking for it, but the bartender knew his routine by now. He nodded in silent thanks, lifting the glass to his lips. The whiskey went down smoother this time, or maybe he was just getting used to it.

The song switched, but he barely noticed. The world outside felt like a blur, distant and unimportant. His life had always been about the mission, about fighting for something bigger than himself. But now, what was he fighting for? What was left? The world moved on, as it always did, but Steve Rogers was still here, still stuck in his grief, drowning in memories of the life he’d almost had.

The bar began to thin out as the night wore on, but Steve stayed. He wasn’t ready to face the real world yet. Not without her. Maybe not ever.

He lifted his glass once more, staring into the amber liquid like it held the answers he was looking for. It didn’t. But at least it helped him forget, if only for a little while.

“They call it a problem,” he muttered to himself, echoing the song, “but I call it a solution.”

The bartender caught his eye from across the bar, offering a knowing nod before returning to his work. Steve wasn’t sure how much longer he’d stay here tonight. Maybe just one more drink. Maybe not. But tomorrow? Tomorrow he’d be back.

Because the truth was, this wasn’t just about the whiskey. It wasn’t even about forgetting. It was about holding on to what little pieces of her he still had left.

And for now, that was enough.

[moonandstarshyuck]

"Always."

lando norris x gn!bf!reader

notes: I haven’t written since 2019, so bear with me. I’ve found myself thinking about a little blurb for Lando recently (actually a lot of ideas, but this one is sticking with me more than the others at the moment).

For some context, Lando’s been receiving a huge amount of hate online (and in-person) recently. I haven’t been a fan for that long—I got into F1 this summer, in 2024—but I’ve grown to care about him. I was there for Lando losing the championship, and while I think we all knew it would come to this (Max winning felt inevitable) but I’m proud of Lando for pushing so hard this entire year.

Still, with all the hate directed at him, I’m seeing a new side of him, and I’m learning that he’s a person with feelings like anyone else. I can tell he doesn’t always have the highest opinion of himself and tends to take the blame for anything that goes wrong during his races. What struck me about this is how much I relate to it. I blame myself for things out of my control or when I mess up. What sucks with Lando is that his small, human errors are what so many people focus on to criticize him—whether it’s why he didn’t win the championship or why they think he’s a bad person (which he absolutely isn’t).

The inspiration for this came from an interview he did after the Brazilian GP. At that point, everyone knew it was almost mathematically impossible for Lando to win the championship, and he talked about struggling in the aftermath: “I literally couldn’t sleep for the first two days…So I did like, what, 36-40 hours straight. So that probably made everything worse. When you’re tired, you’re more moody, and that kind of thing…I was just sat at home alone. It probably would have been better if I had been with my friends. But they don’t live in Monaco. They also have lives and are busy doing other things. And I’m a big overthinker, so like the whole flight home, the whole week, it just played over and over in my head. What could I have done differently? Why did I do that? Why did I not do this? You start thinking of all the scenarios that you kind of blame yourself for, why it’s now not possible, that kind of thing. And yeah, because I overthink and I struggle with that kind of thing, that took a bigger toll in the days after. It wasn’t an easy time.”

And I keep on finding myself wishing someone could have been there for him in person, so that he was okay. So, I wrote this. The reader in this is dating Lando but is written as a gender-neutral character that uses They/Them pronouns. The reader also has a service dog, a Bernese Mountain Dog named Thunder, to help with their own depression and anxiety (I’m not an expert on service dogs, so this many not be 100% accurate).

They woke up that early morning to the sunlight shining on their face, streaming in from the window outside. The bliss of sleep clung to them as they lay there, cocooned in warmth, the covers snug around their body. They stretched lazily, blinking their eyes open.

Instinctively, they turned to look beside them—only to find the space next to them empty. It’s too early in the morning to be anywhere else but in bed, even for training, they thought. Lando should still be here.

The realization pulled them out of their sleepy haze. The past couple of days had been not kind to Lando. They knew that he had a tendency to keep his feelings bottled up and beat himself up over his perceived failures. They understood that feeling all too well—the guilt, the constant sense of disappointment, the nagging thought that were never good enough. They had wrestled with those feelings since they were a child.

It wasn’t something that had an easy fix. If they had found the answer, they would have shared it with Lando years ago. But they had learned that the best way to fight those thoughts wasn’t isolation. Talking to someone, writing feelings down, even simple positive affirmations—thought they might sound silly—could help push back against the negative spiral. They had told Lando this countless times.

But Lando had a problem with not wanting to “inconvenience” anyone with his emotions. No matter how many times they reassured him that they were always there for him, he struggled to let himself. They didn’t blame him—it was human to struggle against your own mind.

What made everything worse was the constant online hate. Every little mistake or sarcastic comment from Lando seemed to turn into an avalanche of criticism. They remembered the first time they’d seen him like a hateful comment about himself on Instagram—the little heart next to a cruel statement, paired with note: “Creator liked this.” It had broken their heart. How could the Lando they loved ever believe such awful things about himself?

After Brazil, it had been clear that he wasn’t okay. He’d barely spoken since coming home, choosing instead to himself. They had given him space, hoping he’d find a way to process his feelings. But by the second morning, when he still hadn’t come to bed—almost forty hours after returning home—they knew they couldn’t stand by any longer.

That morning, they rose slowly from the bed, a plan beginning to form in their mind. Lanod needed someone to step in—someone to remind him he didn’t have to face his struggles alone. They were determined to be that person for him.  They couldn’t take it anymore, seeing the person they loved so badly, punishing himself over his ‘failures.’

The first step was to confirm where he was. Grabbing their phone, they opened Twitch and navigated to Max’s stream. After a few moments of watching, they heard Lando’s voice—tired, strained, but unmistakably his. He was joking with Max, his words clipped, like he was holding himself together with sheer willpower. It was enough to break their heart. They opened their messages with Max.

Thunder's Owner

Lan’s streaming with you rn?

Sent at 7:48 AM.

After a few seconds, Max replied.

Maximilian

Yeah he’s on voice-only.

Sent at 7:50 AM.

Gonna do something about him?

Sent at 7:50 AM.

Max knew. Of course he did. He probably heard the exhaustion in Lando’s voice, the edge self-loathing that came with overthinking. They typed back quickly:

Thunder's Owner

Yeah

Sent 7:52 AM.

Going to unplug his setup and drag him out of there.

Sent 7:52 AM.

Maximilian

Lol.

Sent 7:52 AM.

I’ll keep an eye out for when he disappears.

Sent 7:53 AM.

Thunder's Owner

Thx

Sent 7:54 AM.

They quietly made their way to Lando’s gaming room and eased the door open. Lando sat at his desk, controller in hand, headset clamped over messy curls.  He looked worn down, his shoulders slumped as he focused on the screen. His voice through, muted put playful, as he bantered with Max.

For a moment, they just watched him. Even now, he was handsome, but the tiredness in his expression made their chest ache. He deserved rest. He deserved to feel okay. And he wasn’t going to get that by sitting here punishing himself.

As soon as Lando died in-game and leaned back in his chair, they seized the opportunity. They crossed the room, catching his attention when they came into view.

“Why’re you—” Lando began, frowning, but they didn’t let him finish. Reaching down, they unplugged everything from the wall.

“What the hell—” he exclaimed, spinning around in his chair.

“No,” they said firmly, cutting him off. “I’m not you hurt yourself anymore. Get up.”

Lando blinked, clearly taken aback. “You can’t just do that!” he protested, but they were already tugging gently at him arm, urging him out of his chair.

“Angel, what are you—”

“No,” they repeated, their voice steady. “Get up,”

Lando hesitated for a moment before letting out a resigned sigh and standing. They took his hand, leading him out of the gaming room and down the hall to the living room. He didn’t resist, but he followed like a man in a daze. Once they reached the couch, they turned to him. “Sit,” they said, pointing at the cushions. Lando raised an eyebrow, opening his mouth to argue, but they shook their head. “Stay.”

They turned to Thunder, who had been waiting for them in the hallway, and told him, “Thunder, guard,” while pointing at Lando.

The dog immediately moved into position, standing alert in front of the couch. Lando’s eyes widened slightly as Thunder fixed him with an unblinking stare. He shifted as if to get up, but Thunder’s stance didn’t waver.

“Jeez, I wasn’t going to get up,” he mumbled to Thunder, but Thunder just sat there and watched him until he fully relaxed back into the couch.

The thought ran through Lando’s head, how he had honestly forgotten how menacing his own dog could look. He knew Thunder was trained, saw reminders of it daily with how he interacted with his partner, but he was still shocked at how trained Thunder really was at that moment.

Thunder was still staring at him when he pulled out his phone from his pocket, opening up his texts with Max.

LN

I was just dragged out of my gaming room and told to sit on the couch and like a dog.

Sent at 8:05 AM.

Not against it, but how tf did they get so determined?

Sent at 8:05 AM.

Thunder’s watching me right now.

Sent at 8:06 AM.

I forgot how menacing he could be.

Sent at 8:06 AM.

*Picture attached.*

Lol.

Sent at 8:06 AM.

Max (The 1st One)

He’s like ‘try me, I dare you’

Sent at 8:06 AM.

LN

Yeah, I don’t particularly want to try him

Sent at 8:07 AM.

Max (The 1st One)

Lol.

Sent at 8:07 AM.

They told me before they did it

Sent at 8:07 AM.

I just let them. Lol.

Sent at 8:07 AM.

LN

Helpful. What if they were trying to  kill me?

Sent at 8:08 AM.

They wouldn’t have had to if you kept doing what you were doing.

Sent at 8:09 AM.

Lando’s let out a quiet sigh, Max’s words sinking in. He glanced at Thunder, who hadn’t moved, and felt a pang of guilt. He’d pushed himself too far again, and this time it had clearly worried his partner.

A few minutes later, his partner walked back into their living room. He thought they looked beautiful, wearing one of his old t-shirts and a pair of boxers. They were entirely focused on the bowl they were carrying, and only looked up when they got close enough to hand it to him. He gently took the bowl, looked into it and saw it was one of his prep meals. While not his favorite breakfast, he knew he just needed to eat first, so he started taking bites.

He glanced up every so often, and each time he did, his partner was just sitting there and watching him eat. Lando almost chuckled at his own thought that they looked just like Thunder when watching him, and he smiled into his bowl at the thought. His partner didn’t see his smile, but he continued to eat until he had finished the bowl.

When he was done eating, he set the bowl down, and his partner again pulled him up by the crook of his arm. He just let them do so, having a thought of what was going to happen next.

His partner led them both down the hallway to their bedroom, and opened the door, leading him to sit on their bed, then they turned around and went to close their blinds and draw their black-out curtains to cover up the sunlight from the window. They had turned on their bedside lamp earlier, and the soft orange glow of the lamp permeated the room. They walked past him again, going to close the door after letting Thunder in, then they walked back to their side of the bed, and pulled him to lie down against them.

As he settled against their chest, he felt a bit odd, it being a bit of a difference to feel how much he was loved by them. How much they cared for him. And he finally spoke again, “Thank you.”

“Always, Lan. Always.” They replied, pressing a kiss to his hair.

And for the first time in days, he let himself sleep.

author's note: got inspired to actually write something for once...ty @koalapastries for the inspiration (unknowing inspiration but ty) (also sorry for using your layout outline

comments & reblogs appreciated

and i made the dividers :)

[bringthekaos]

Alrighty, here we go. Act III.

Mostly Jayce and Viktor centric, but with some wider thoughts as a whole thrown in. As usual, this is all my opinion, you’re free to disagree with me. Just don’t be a dick.

I am torn. I’m appreciative of the visuals and the JayVik crumbs (even though Christian Linke’s comments post-show have soured it to queerbait for me). But mostly I am disappointed. And I so badly didn’t want to be. I had such high hopes (and that’s probably my fault. I expected too much). They completely massacred Viktor’s character. There was such beautiful setup in season one of his background as a Zaunite living in Piltover. So much of his lived experience came from that—the oppression, the inequality, the xenophobia, the inaccessibility. It formed his opinions and his values, and that’s why he was so adamantly anti-weapon making. That’s why his number one goal was always to help the people in need down in Zaun. They showed us that he was a tinkerer and a builder, that he valued the ingenuity in machinery. They gave us that cute little boat from his childhood and the fucking Hexclaw.

Viktor was supposed to be a Zaunite champion. He was supposed to embrace Techmaturgy as a direct opposition to magic/Hextech. He was supposed to undergo his transformation into the Machine Herald of his own volition, with his own agency and bodily autonomy (yes I know it also stemmed from severe depression and one could argue that it messed with his decision-making, but still… he did that shit on his own). And there were so many opportunities to go this route in Arcane, and it would have worked!! If Viktor augmented his hand and his leg, but it cost Sky her life, he could realize the cost of magic, and turn to Tech. He could have been exiled back to Zaun, where he was supposed to be, and then the shitshow really could have unfolded—having one of Hextech’s creators now working for the other side.

And I know they had to change it so that he could be a bigger part of the overall narrative, as his original lore was rather disconnected. But there were much cleaner ways to go about it than disrespecting his entire character arc by turning him into a grimdark edgelord ethereal magic Jesus who no longer notices or even seems to care about the oppression and class warfare going on in his birthplace. Like. I’m sorry, him “curing” Salo? OG Viktor would have taken one look at a representative of the very oppression he stood against and blown him to kingdom come. (And yes, I also realize that he did it in Arcane because he was “under the influence” of the Hexcore, which only wanted to “infect more people.” But that’s another problem I have. This was never really made all that clear. And watching him go from “we will not be building weapons, that’s not why we invented Hextech/there is always a choice/we were meant to improve lives, not to take them” to making him turn human beings into weapons?? I don’t care that they tried to salvage his character by suggesting he wasn’t in control, it still undermines everything about him. And GOD, original League Vik had so much DEPTH. He was a hypocrite, he was still partly human and so he retained pieces/parts of all the things he preached against, which made him a wonderful contradiction. And he had a sense of humor and whimsy too! He enjoyed sweet milk, he cracked dry jokes and was sarcastic as fuck. He had a personality! And now he’s just… empty space man blinded by forced apathy.

And I think all of this is part of a larger problem—they wanted to use Arcane as a stepping stone to future shows, and as such, the class warfare and systemic oppression plot from season one was completely abandoned. They tried to solve it with “well they have to band together to face a bigger enemy.” Which in my personal opinion is a cheap cop out. There are always bigger fish, that doesn’t change the fact that Zaun has been living in Piltover’s filth with Piltover’s boot on their neck for generations. They’ve suffered injustices most of us can’t even comprehend. And then suddenly we’re supposed to believe they all band together to face this threat, stand side by side with their oppressors because Jayce made one speech about it? With no proof? And then all they get from the deal is one Zaunite seat on the council? And they’re okay with that? I never expected the show to solve systemic oppression, but I also didn’t expect them to abandon it this spectacularly.

The Noxus/Black Rose plot was clearly thrown in to set up future shows, and to show Netflix/investors/whoever that this massive financial investment has a future. And it destroyed the Piltover/Zaun story. I think this could have been a totally isolated story just about Piltover and Zaun, and been completely successful. In fact, I would have definitely watched future projects despite them not taking place in the setting of Arcane. And I’m not at all saying I don’t like Ambessa and Mel. I was very intrigued by the story of a warmonger like Ambessa facing her comeuppance, not just for her warmongering but for her affair with a damn MAGE. And her daughter trying desperately to break the mold her mother has set for her, while also struggling with who she is and these new, incredible powers she has. That shit is juicy as hell, and honestly should have been its own show. But throwing it into Arcane in season 2 with absolutely no hint of the Black Rose or its impending approach (beyond “the people who killed your brother don’t think the score is settled”) in season one, it just felt like the aforementioned cop out to get Piltover and Zaun to get along. And in doing so, they steamrolled Viktor to make him a bigger player in the narrative.

Did I like the final astral plane scene with Jayce and Viktor? God, yes. Is it one of the most beautiful confessions of love and eternal devotion I think I’ve ever fucking seen? Also yes. But it kinda feels like a bandaid on a bullet wound. I got the love I always knew remained between Jayce and Viktor, but I paid for it with Viktor’s entire character. Not to mention Christian Linke keeps pouring salt in the fucking wound, denouncing JayVik and “bromancing” them, and then also suggesting in one interview that Jayce and Viktor are actually fucking dead, and in another that Viktor will be back in future projects (with no mention of Jayce, which suggests that they’re turning him into Sky 2.0 and that he’s dead but Viktor isn’t). And that completely undermines the entire ending of season 2’s “intrinsically entwined/always you/in every universe.” And I know, I shouldn’t listen to this dude’s opinion on the matter, he’s not the only one making this thing, and honestly it was the easiest unfollow/mute of my life. But how hard is it to just shut the fuck up and let people enjoy things? To not comment one way or the other, let people think what they want, and rake in your millions in the process? Haven’t you ever heard of rainbow capitalism, my guy?

Ugh. I’m very sorry for being so negative, I didn’t want to be. I still love the show, and I’d still like to keep writing JayVik, even though it’s just been made near-impossible (I’m actually really glad that I never finished Oasis now, cuz I can go back to that and expand it well beyond what I originally planned cuz… it’s all I have left). I’m just mourning my cyborg wife, and the fact that goddamn SMEECH had what Viktor was supposed to. Hopefully the more time goes on, I can reconcile these changes and embrace them, cuz I love this fandom, I love this ship, and I don’t wanna lose it.

Anyway, I will still be sharing art and memes and posting analyses, because you can like a piece of media and still be critical of it.

[gabessquishytum]

Just a concept I won’t write a proper fic for, but I thought you’d enjoy. Off anon because I’m putting in a specific detail I’m probably including in a fic I will write properly at some point, so might as well.

Hob works for a cleaning company. They give him the keys, the address, and have him go to town on the empty houses for however many days it takes. Yeah, days, because we’re not talking just any houses, but big fuckoff mansions that haven’t seen a duster in decades. You know, the sort of houses that might have loads of antique and/or expensive stuff in them. So much of it, even, that no one will notice if Hob takes home a few pieces (read: sells them to the best bidder).

Hob gets called to the Burgess house because the owner is going on a months-long business trip, and like the spoiled rich cunt he is he wants the house cleaner than he left it when he returns, but has no intentions of paying the regular staff while he’s away.

Honestly? The house doesn’t look promising. Hob has a look around as he cleans and there’s a lot of old books, but it’s hard to guess the value of those to begin with and this… is some pretty obscure stuff? Looks cult-y to Hob, and he’s not about to fuck with that. He does find a huge fucking ruby pendant, but he has a feeling Burgess will notice that missing. There is a locked basement, though. That’s promising.

The key to the basement is hard enough to find, which is also very promising, but when Hob unlocks the door he’s met with… a dingy, dark, damp basement, and is that a fucking moat? A hint of gold draws his eye, and that’s when he sees it.

A big glass and steel… container? Surrounded by a circle of golden lines and scribbles on the floor. Again, looks cult-y… no. Not a container. A cage. There’s something in there, something with tiny white pinpricks for eyes.

Too curious for his own good, Hob gets closer, using his lighter to illuminate the space. And what he sees is… a man. A beautiful, very naked, reed-thin yet muscular man, but a man. Except for the eyes, black as night with gleaming pupils. And only for a moment. He’s only a man for a moment, because when Hob gets close (in a hurry to free him, Hob’s not a saint, Hob’s fucked with human trafficking before but he’s bloody not doing that again-), the man transforms.

His shape doesn’t change much -prominent ribs, long limbs, lean muscles- but he does get bigger, taller. The shock of ink-black hair on his head spreads all over his body, short mostly with big longer tufts at his chest, groin, elbows and… ears. He has large cat-like ears now, and a long tail to match, and a carnivore’s teeth.

Something about the man stays so human, though. His expression, just something about him, that makes Hob not want to run.

“I wasn’t going to hurt you.” He eyes up the creature, basically a were-panther? Were-feline of some sort? Anyway, an 8 feet tall big cat in human shape, and Hob ponders just how deeply he wants to fuck himself. He doesn’t care about losing his job, bugger that, but… “Will you kill me, if I get you out of this? I’d really like to get you out of this.”

There’s no answer, but there is a very human expression of surprise. Maybe he cannot speak. Hob remembers the books, though, and the scribbles on the floor. The glass is thick, but Hob is pretty damn strong, and smart enough to figure out the rest.

Turns out that Dream (that’s the man’s name) is a very powerful, very magical shapeshifter. He can speak, just not without air to breathe. And he’s very very grateful Hob freed him from a hell of loneliness, suffocation and starvation. He’s not open about his gratitude, at first, and haughty as hell about it later, but he really quite likes Hob. As he stays at Hob’s place (technically in-case-I’m-caught-robbing safehouse) he becomes quite affectionate and possessive with Hob, proprietary even… and Hob is not the type to turn down a beautiful man. Or a beautiful big cat, as it turns out.

Hob is especially delighted to find that the big “spines” on Dream’s huge feline cock aren’t sharp things like on a house cat, but rather cartilage not unlike on a human eartip, which bend this way and that and make Dream hiss in pleasure when Hob takes his cock in hand, and feel so so good inside Hob ❤

Ommggg my friend this is such a good concept, there are so many details that I love and appreciate! I really like the idea of Hob having a cleaning company that's a cover up to steal stuff. The idea of him rifling through antiques just really appeals to me. He enjoys the history of it all, as well as the money that he earns on those little trinkets!

And were-panther Dream!! I love him already. The idea of him basically deciding that Hob belongs to him now is so hot! Even in human form Dream is strong and tall, especially when he's no longer starving. He can pick Hob up and throw him around... and his paws in feline form feel incredible as they press against Hob’s chest and pin him to the bed. Dream growls softly against his ear, pants hot breath and against his neck and absolutely ravishes Hob until he can barely walk... and then he uses his big sensitive cat tongue to lick every drop of his seed from Hob’s body <3

So yeah. Big fan of this whole concept. Would LOVE to read more from you, dear friend! Thank you for sharing!

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Hey! Love the temptation danny story so much! Can i have a follow up request where reader has to go home for vacation due to a family reunion while danny is off somewhere for testing and she tells danny that its ok that she goes alone since he is busy but he keeps insisting that they should go together but reader has already booked a flight and the next following days while the family reunion is going on danny just arrives and everyone gets so starstruck by him and he is so possessive of her while the reunion is going on, LOVE THE FICS BTW YOU ARE AN AWESOME WRITER

The Taste of Temptation || DR3 {6}

Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, angst, smut, fluff (two part request) WC: 3.4K F1 Masterlist Story: One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven Snapshots: One || Two || Three || Four || Five

Wednesday “Honestly, it’s fine,” you reassured him for the seemingly hundredth time. 

Daniel’s suitcase was at the door beside yours except the planes you were leaving from in Nice were going in two very different directions.

“It’s not fine,” he muttered as he checked his Passport was in his back pocket before pulling you into his arms. “I was looking forward to seeing your family again. They’re going to be mine soon too.”

You smiled at the reminder and brushed your thumb over the engagement ring. “You’ll see them at Christmas.”

“Not everyone,” he pointed out. The Christmas get together was going to have both of your immediate family members, with his flying out from Australia. “I want to talk to your cousins.”

“What? Why?” You pulled back to see the mischievous look in his eyes and the smile that promised he was up to something.

“Cousins always tell the truth,” he chuckled. “And I want to know what you were really like as a kid.”

“I was a little angel.”

His hands roamed over your body to settle on your ass and he pulled you flush against him as he teased, “What happened?” 

You giggled as you rose on your tiptoes and grazed your nose along his throat before resting your lips on his jaw as you teased him right back, “I fell for a man with a wicked tongue.”

You could see the darkening in his eyes and his lips parted with a filthy suggestion on the tip of his tongue but the blaring of an alarm from his jeans drew a groan out instead. “I’m going to have blue balls for the flight now.”

“You should probably take care of that.”

“It’s a 30 minute drive to the airport, Kitten, you could take care of it along the way.”

It was a strange feeling returning to the town you had grown up in. The streets remained the same, trees lining the curb and kids playing in the front yards, but the faces were all unrecognisable. Like you, most of the people you knew had fled as soon as they finished high school, searching for something bigger than what this place could offer. 

Nearly every parking space on the street was taken by your extended family but your dad had saved one for you near the house with the recycling bin. It was a good thing too because Daniel had kind of spoiled you as he walked you to your boarding gate. He hadn’t been able to resist dragging you into the duty free shops in the terminal and now the extra baggage was missing the pair of hands that carried it for you. You had told him it was too much but he just kissed you until you forgot about arguing. It wasn’t fair, you could never win an argument when he cheated like that. 

You got the feeling everyone had been waiting for you because the moment your car door closed they all filed out of the house to come and help with your luggage.

“There’s the city-slicker, welcome home,” Vanessa greeted with a kiss on your cheek before pouting as she saw the empty front seat. “Damn, thought you were bringing the sugar daddy with you.”

“Don’t call him that, he’s not my sugar daddy,” you warned with a roll of your eyes but your cousin clearly wasn’t paying attention. “Daniel is with the Red Bull guys in Japan for some big event. He wishes he could come but they called in everyone: Scotty, Liam, Mad Mike, they all had to be there too. ”

Your dad took the suitcase from your hand and nodded understandingly. “That’s a shame, but at least my little girl has finally come home.”

Your bedroom hadn’t changed all that much since you left to go to university and you could see the pin pricks and faded lines in the wallpaper outlining where your posters used to be. 

“Ohh, this is gorgeous,” Nessa grinned as she helped herself to the garment bags, the tags still on the designer clothes Daniel had bought you. “So am I going to meet this not-your-sugar-daddy before the wedding?”

“You could come to Christmas if you want, and go ahead, try it on,” you sighed before flinching at the squeak she made before abandoning her clothes like you were still kids and stepping into the first dress. “Nice to see you haven’t outgrown stealing my clothes.”

“There’s a reason we are the same size, it's fate. Karma herself said, Nessa, you deserve to wear nice things too,” she joked as she turned around. “Do me up?”

“You are so full of shit,” you laughed as you zipped her up. “Am I going to get that back?”

“Do you have a sugar daddy?”

“No.”

“Well there's your answer.” 

Friday “Hey Kitten,” Daniel greeted with a bright smile when the video call connected. “How’s it going?”

You leaned the phone against your mirror so you could continue to apply your makeup and held up two shades of lipstick. “Just getting ready to go out with Nessa. How’s the event? I haven’t seen many pictures.”

“Left hand, and you won’t - they are keeping everything under wraps until they have finished filming. Think the Melbourne GP promo vid, but bigger…”

You opened the lipstick he chose, the one you knew he would since he always complimented the shade on you - and when it transferred to his skin too. He fell silent as he watched you lean closer into the mirror, leaving the swell of your breasts filling his screen.

“Kitten…I wish I was there,” he sighed when you pulled back and blew him a kiss to show the colour off. 

“I wish you were here too,” you admitted, taking the phone with you as you sat on the bed and hugged your pillow. “Two days down, four to go.”

“You’re still counting in days? I’m counting in hours, fuck it, minutes.” He sent you a screenshot and you saw the countdown timer on his homescreen, the hours and minutes slowly ticking away until you were reunited. “Where are you and Nessa going? Is Carter going too?”

You shook your head at the question. Vanessa’s brother was far too busy with his new girlfriend to want to go to the local bar. “He’s too cool to hang out with us at the Old Oak Inn.”

Daniel sat up a little straighter and didn’t appear too pleased at the news. “Is anyone going with you?”

“Ness.”

“You know what I mean,” he huffed, “who is going to look out for you two?”

“Everyone knows everyone here, baby, we’ll be fine.” You gave him a smile as your chest warmed with the same gooey feeling you got every time he worried about you. “I love you, my protective he-man.”

“I love you too, Kitten,” his face softened until he heard Max calling his name outside his hotel door. “Send me lots of pictures, baby, I wanna see my gorgeous girl having fun.”

Nessa burst into the room as you ended the call and ripped the pillow away from your arms. “Get up, bitch, the taxi is here.”

The bar had changed a lot since you last went, the atmosphere more akin to a club than a pub, and you narrowed your eyes at Nessa who just grinned back. “You said it was a chill night out.”

“I lied,” she said with a shrug. “We can go back if you’d rather get in a fight over monopoly?”

 You cringed at the thought so she dragged you through the busy room and straight to the bar. 

“Holy shit, we have royalty in the house,” an old school friend greeted as he tended to the bar. “Did Monaco get too busy?”

“Not quite, Mark, I’m just back for a family reunion.” He placed your old favourite drink down without having to ask and you quirked an eyebrow at it.

“I have a good memory, but it might taste better than it did in the old plastic cups we drank out of,” he laughed before pouring a bourbon for Nessa. “Milady.”

He wandered off to serve someone else and you turned to Nessa. “You and Mark?”

“A few times, you know, just a bit of fun,” she said as she winked at him when he glanced back. “Oh, head down, Andrew’s here.”

You ducked into her arms and kept your head down until she said you were safe and sighed with relief. “Jesus, everyone really does come here. Is there any other bar around?”

“If you want to catch an STD off the bar top, sure. Plus, your high school sweetheart will probably find his way to Ruby’s later anyway.”

“We dated for like four months, I wouldn’t call him my highschool sweetheart,” you scoffed. 

Nessa’s brow lifted. “Need I remind you he took your V Card? Your first always has a teeny tiny place in your heart.”

“Not mine, and Danny took my A Card so that trumps it.”

“A Card…?” she trailed off before her eyes widened in realisation. “Ew gross. Did it hurt?”

“I’m not telling you anything.”

“Whatever, we both know how you get after a few drinks.” She grabbed your phone and held it up as she raised her glass and you clinked them together before tipping them back. “Perfect. And done.”

You barely caught your phone as she carelessly tossed it back and you saw she hadn’t sent it to Danny but uploaded it to Instagram. “Fucksake, Nessa, you left the location on.” 

You had learned quite quickly that most of the people that followed you only used it to see updates Daniel might not have posted himself, including using the locations of your posts thinking Daniel would be with you. It had led to a few scary situations before you learned to keep your location off or at least generalised - but she had tagged the Old Oak Inn.

Taking another photo with a pout, you posted it with the caption, ‘half of my soul is half a world away, miss you danielricciardo’ and hoped it would stop some people within driving distance from making the pointless journey hoping to see Danny.

You opened the photo again and zoomed in to see Andrew in the background, his eyes clearly looking at your ass when the camera snapped.

“What made you happy all of a sudden?” Nessa asked as she returned with fresh drinks.

“Danny’s on his way,” you giggled nervously as you clutched your phone to your chest.

“I thought he couldn’t come.”

“He couldn’t, and he shouldn’t, but I don’t think there’s anyone with the balls to stop him. He can be a little stubborn sometimes.” It was a severe understatement and if he wasn’t such a good driver you were certain he would have been fired for some of the escapades he found himself in because he got a little overprotective and possessive when he was away from you. “Christian Horner offered me a job just so I could be wherever Daniel was and keep him in line, but I think it was a joke.”

“You need to accept it, joke or not, your man is whipped for you.”

You took a sip of your drink before you spilled the truth about who really did the whipping and pondered the idea you had initially laughed off. You could still work a similar role with Red Bull, so maybe it shouldn’t have been brushed off so quickly. For tonight, you would focus on having fun with Nessa and catching up with old friends.

Saturday You groaned at the dawn light that brightened the room as the curtains were ripped aside and rolled over. “Nessa, piss off.”

“Something bothering you, kitten?”

You probably looked like a zombie coming to life as you threw your blankets back and rushed up to meet Daniel as he climbed onto the bed. The old frame creaked unused to the extra weight on it but you didn’t care if it collapsed, you weren’t letting go of Daniel once he was in your arms. 

“You’re actually here,” you murmured against his lips when you finally broke apart to breathe. You had kept looking over your shoulder all night expecting him to appear but when the bar closed and he still hadn’t arrived your hope had simmered down.

His smile was blinding as he brushed your messy hair back and buried his face in your neck with a deep inhale. He was a cat high on catnip the moment his nose brushed your racing pulse and he guided you back into the sheets as he caged you beneath him. “Told you I’d see you soon.”

“My parent’s room is next door,” you whispered as his hips settled between your legs and he teased you when he rolled them against you.

“Then I suggest you find something to bite,” he chuckled, his fingers slipping into your panties and feeling how your body had instantly reacted to his touch, “because I have missed you so much. I just need to feel you around me. right now.”

His lips parted and he sighed at the pretty sight as he dragged your panties down your legs. “There’s my pretty kitty,” he mused as he shuffled down the bed so he could settle between your legs, kissing your thighs softly as he reacquainted himself after three days apart. “Have you missed me?”

“Like crazy.”

“She thinks I’m talking to her,” he whispered and you felt the warmth of his breath on the sensitive spot he was confessing to. You giggled at the silly man and squirmed with the silent plea for him to stop talking and do more, the bed creaking with the movement. Daniel grabbed your hips and held them still so the bed fell silent before shaking his head with an amused smirk. “Impatient little minx.”

Rather than take the taste you knew he wanted, he flipped you onto your knees and pushed your head into the pillow to silence the sounds that spilled forth as he curled two fingers into your cunt. A few flicks of his wrist were the only preparation he gave your body before his shorts were halfway down his thighs and he replaced his fingers with his cock. 

Your pillow heated with the heavy moan that filled it and it grew damp as your teeth clamped down on the satin slip. It had only been three days but the burn of the stretch danced the fine line between pleasure and pain until he reached around your hip and found your clit. 

“Fuck you’re tight, kitten,” Daniel grunted, his lip almost bleeding as he bit it to keep quiet and pulled back a little so you could acclimate to his size again. “You okay, baby?”

You answered by pushing yourself back, needing him as much as he needed you, and you relished in the full feeling when your ass met his body. His heavy breathing broke the quiet morning and he covered your back, pressing his lips to your spine and following the line to your neck. 

“Lay down for me.”

Unwilling to part with you for a moment, he helped you onto your stomach and carefully shifted until his legs were outside of yours and your thighs pressed together. The pillow muffled your moans as the position increased the feeling of fullness and he rode you with long smooth strokes, keeping the bed from creaking.

“Three days was too much, kitten,” he confessed quietly as he kissed your shoulder. “I can’t go a day without you. Want you with me, always.”

Despite the exhaustion of the late night and early wake up, you weren’t able to get back to sleep, even with Daniel there to spoon you. A knock at your door had put an end to that plan and you were reminded that everyone was getting ready to go to the lake for a day out on the water.

Everyone except Vanessa were surprised to see Daniel joining you for breakfast and you got the best pick of the cooked meal while they all fawned over the celebrity.

“Alright, alright, leave him be,” you said as you moved them along and handed him a plate you had filled before sitting on his lap. Seats were in short supply with so many people coming and going that you were happy to share one. “I know he’s a bit weird but try to treat him normally.”

“Morning, Sugar,” Nessa teased quietly as she took the seat beside him.

“Ness…meet Daniel, officially,” you said, since she had seen him on a video call.

“We met this morning, didn’t we, Sugar? Who do you think let him in? We had a great chat about you.”

She was finding it too amusing and Daniel’s shoulder bounced with a laugh as he stuffed bacon into his mouth to avoid commenting. “I thought you were joking.”

“I told you, cousins always tell the truth,” he chuckled before kissing your cheek. “She didn’t tell me anything new though; I already knew you were smart and beautiful.”

“She was just saying that so she could keep the Givenchy dress she stole.”

“Pfft, not true, but I can totally play it up if you want to part with the Jimmy Choos too.” She turned her attention to Daniel who had been thoroughly enjoying the interaction while idly massaging your hip. “Did she tell you that she climbed up a tree to save a cat? The fire department gave her a medal for it. Or this one time she single-handedly stopped a bank robbery.”

“Oh my god,” you snorted at the absurdity.

“Don’t get me started on how she took down an international crime syndicate with a muscle car.”

“Who am I? Vin Diesel? Just shut up.”

“No, no, give me more,” Daniel encouraged. “I thought Lando was imaginative but this is next level.”

You could see the moment her train of thought was lost and a sly smile grew. “Think you could introduce me?”

“To Lando? No way, you would eat him alive.”

“Come on, I introduced you to Drew so you owe me.” You felt Danny’s hand stop the calming circles and wished she had kept her mouth shut as he asked who Drew was. “Andrew, her first boyfriend, well only boyfriend before you, I thought you would have known, my bad.”

Breakfast was fairly quiet after that and you knew Daniel had questions he was just waiting to ask when he got you alone. Fortunately, you could put them off for a few hours as you all set off to the lake, the distraction of you in a bikini enough to placate him in the meantime.

“So this Andrew��” he stated as he pulled you into his arms and waded out deeper into the warm water. “Why haven’t I heard about him?”

“Because it was years ago?”

“Did you love him?”

“I was 17, I didn’t know what love was,” you laughed as you combed your fingers through his hair. “Are you jealous?”

“No,” he scoffed, but it was clearly a lie.

“Baby, you’re the only man I have ever loved, and the only one I will ever love - with one exception.” His eyes narrowed and you giggled as you kissed his cheek. “If we have a kid someday and it’s a boy, then I would love him too.”

The corners of his eyes wrinkled with the smile that split his face. “I suppose I could live with that.”

“Good, so forget about Andrew. You are everything I want and need.”

“So long as I don’t have to cross paths with the bastard that took your innocence.”

There were only two days left before you flew back to Monaco, what were the chances?

Click here for part seven.

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[peachessndreamss]

Private Bennett's Lover - Part 1

Summery : When Tom sneaks into a party he's not been invited too he meets the wife of the Vice Admiral of the Fleet and starts on a path that can only end in heartbreak.

Characters : Tom Bennett x Married!Female OC Mrs Randall

Warnings : Canon typical language

Word count : 5K

A/N : I cannot tell you how long I've been working on this and how unfinished it still is. But I wanted to share at least some of it, ideally this will be a three part series so watch this space! Much Love to @a-fall-of-stars who knew this story when all I had was an idea and a screenshot of a gif set

Series Masterlist l peachessndreamss Masterlist

Through the tiny crack in the barely open office door it couldn’t have been more obvious that Tom Bennett was completely and utterly out of his comfort zone, and Tom was the sort of person who prided himself on being able to be comfortable just about anywhere. But the view this evening had sweat gathering at his hairline and under his collar and had created an uncomfortable burning sensation in his throat, but he didn’t dare try to clear it for fear of being caught. 

When Private Bennett had seen the line of large and shiny cars rolling past the barracks towards The Big House his interest had been piqued and when a fellow private explained the Vice Admiral enjoyed throwing lavish parties in the house, despite there being a war on, Tom felt his feet itching and his mind ticking and before he knew it he was crossing the dark expanse of the lawns toward The Big House and slipping inside through a window with a broken lock. 

Once inside he’d crept through the darkened passages toward the sounds of music, clinking glasses and the rumble of polite conversation. The house was, by a mile, the grandest home Tom had ever been in. The carpet on the floor was so thick he’d felt his shoes sink into it as he walked, every wall was hung with paintings, endless landscapes and portraits watched Tom as he moved between the shadows, being drawn toward the party that was taking place in the ballroom. 

Tom found an open door along a quiet corridor that led into the Vice Admiral’s study, the room was richly furnished, the walls covered with bookshelves and the space dominated by a desk Tom was fairly certain was bigger than his childhood bedroom. 

Tom cracked the second door to the study which opened to the house's main hallway and gave him a view of the party while remaining unnoticed by anyone else. He watched for more than half an hour as the party carried on, the champagne was flowing freely as the guests talked in small groups or dipped in and out of the ballroom. Tom could only see a small portion of the ballroom but was able to catch sight of couples dancing to the music of a quartet. 

Tom had been to a fair number of parties and dances in his life but this was something else, like something from another world or a bygone era. In the village, only a mile away, he knew people would be going to bed hungry and in the barracks just over the crest of the hill, young men were waiting for orders that might end their lives but in The Big House none of that was real and the only thing that mattered was a full glass of champagne. 

Tom could feel his skin starting to prickle with anger when the door behind him creaked open and the room was briefly filled with light. He whipped around, his eyes wide and his mouth dry, his heart thundering as he stared like a cornered animal, finding himself no longer alone. 

Mrs Randall had expected to find her husband's, the Vice Admiral of the Fleet’s, office empty. In truth, she was hoping to find it empty, she wanted to find a quiet and dark space in which to gather herself and take a much needed rest from the party taking place in her home. 

However the study wasn’t empty and an icy chill ran down her spine as her eyes met those of the stranger’s. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice a horse whisper. 

She stared at the man, too frightened to take her eyes away from his face. If she screamed she knew she’d have help before the stranger would have a chance to cross the room to do her any harm but the thought of screaming was far from her mind as she saw her own fear reflected on his face. 

When he didn’t reply she straightened her back a little and spoke in the voice she’d been trained to use on badly behaved staff members.  

“Why are you in my study?” she demanded. 

Tom couldn’t help his face breaking into a grin when he’d seen the woman stand up a little straighter and use a harsher voice on him. He realised he wasn’t in immediate danger of being discovered by anyone that scared him so he decided to fall back on his charm to ensure he got out of the house with minimal trouble. 

“Jus’ wanted to see ‘ow the other ‘alf live,” he replied with a shrug, playing up his northern accent which was in complete contrast to her own voice. 

She scoffed quietly before she moved further into the room and flicked on a small desk lamp. 

“Have you come from the barracks?” she asked. 

The electric light was dim but golden and the room suddenly glowed, the light bouncing off the brass fixtures and the highly polished dark wood furniture. The man stood on the edge of the pool of light but it still caught his features, revealing a sharp chin and soft lips. His blue eyes twinkled with mischief and his golden hair glinted in the light. 

“How did you get in here?” she asked when he remained silent. 

He shrugged again and moved his head from side to side, keeping his eyes carefully fixed on the woman. 

“Broken lock,” he admitted before pausing briefly, “window on the east side, three from the kitchen door,”. 

She nodded, the two of them still not taking their eyes from each other. They were like two nervous animals, not willing to look away out of fear and out of interest. Tom let his eyes flick up and down her body.  

The long gown she’d worn was nothing like he'd ever seen before. He'd seen his fair share of girls in and out of their best frocks at the dances he used to attend back home but she was something else. He might have mistaken her for royalty, there was a small jewelled tiara on her head after all. Other jewels sparkled at her neck and wrists and the fabric of her dress caught and reflected the light right back at him. 

“Well, thank you for letting me know,” she replied softly, “But perhaps it's best you go back now."

Tom's eyebrow quirked upwards, surprised by her quickly she'd gotten control of herself and retained a cool head and calm demeanour. 

Tom would have guessed that before she’d been married she’d never been alone with a man, and could probably count on one hand the amount of times since, if she were scared you gave no outward indication. 

“Or I could stay a while, we could ‘ave a chat?” He offered with an upward quirk of his lips. 

She gave a quiet laugh and a small shake of her head before stepping further into the room, closer to where Tom was standing by the main study doors. She could hear the music from the ballroom and the soft, lilting laughter of feminine voices. 

"And what would we talk about?” she asked. 

He shrugged again. 

“Perhaps we should start with introductions? Name and that?” 

She smiled and gave him her first name before adding “Mrs Randall, the Vice Admiral's wife,”  she stepped forward offering her hand out to him to shake. 

Tom nodded and took the proffered hand, instead of shaking it he brought it up to his mouth and pressed a soft kiss to it. 

“Private Tom Bennett,” he said, “Pleasure to meet you,” his lips still almost brushing the soft, warm back of her hand. 

“Pleasure to meet you Private Bennett,” she replied, pulling her hand out of his grip. The place his lips had touched her skin felt burnt, like if she looked at it, she’d still see the shape of his kiss marking the skin. 

“Please Mrs Randall, call me Tom,” he smirked, “All my friends do."

“Then please, let us both use our first names, like friends,” she replied.

“Not “my lady” or anything like that?” He teased with a smile. 

“Certainly not, I'm not a Lady." She said with a firm shake of her head. The movement caused the diamonds sitting in her hair to flash and sparkle as they caught the soft light. 

Tom ran his tongue over his bottom lip and he took in her appearance again. At a glance she would have easily been mistaken for royalty and wouldn't have looked out of place in Buckingham Palace. 

“So, how come you're hiding in the study rather than out there?” He asked. 

“I needed a moment alone,” she replied, touching her cool hand to her flushed cheeks and forehead, “There’s only some much champagne and small talk I can take." 

“Well please accept my apologies. For both disturbing your peace and for the hard times you find yourself suffering through,” he replied dryly with a roll of his eyes, watching as her whole body stiffened and her eyes narrowed on him. 

“Apology noted,” her voice was icy. 

Tom chuckled and shook his head, he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and a lighter. 

“May I?” He asked. 

“Only if you share,” she replied, the ice appearing to have melted from her tone, she stepped closer again to take a cigarette from the packet he held out. 

She placed the unlit cigarette into her mouth and Tom flicked the lighter on, touching the flame to the tip of the cigarette while she breathed in. Her husband considered women smoking to be offensive and unbecoming, but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. 

She took a drag as Tom lit his own cigarette. Her husband smoked cigars in his study so the smell would go unnoticed and there was an ashtray at hand.

“I've seen you, you know,” she said, flicking ash in the general direction of the ashtray, “The assault course you boys run, it runs along the garden wall and from my dressing room I can see everything." 

Tom opened his mouth to speak but she continued, looking between the burning tip of the cigarette and the man in front of her. 

“You know some Privates bring girls for the village round there? There's a little shady spot just a few meters back from the path I've seen them disappearing into,” her eyes fixed on him, “I wonder what they get up to back there?” 

Tom swallowed and flicked the ash off the end of his own cigarette. 

“Wouldn't know,” he said with a shrug, “But I heard there's a lot of poison ivy in the bushes, next time I see someone scratching, I'll ask." 

“And ‘ow are you so certain you've seen me out there?” He asked after a beat of silence, “Surely us lot all look the same to you?” 

She shrugged and took a drag, smoke curling out of her mouth and disappearing into the air above the two of them. “Some of you are more memorable than others.” 

Tom grinned before crushing his finished cigarette in the ashtray. He lifted the heavy piece of glass and offered it to her. She crushed her own cigarette beside his. From outside the study the sound of her name being called reached her ears. 

She recognised her husband's voice and felt her heart rate increase. She took hold of Tom by the sleeve of his jacket and dragged him deeper into the room, flicking off the desk lamp and plunging the room into darkness again. Her husband's voice grew louder as he moved nearer the door, he seemed to stop right outside to speak to someone before moving off again and in the direction of the kitchens. Of course that was where he thought he'd find his wife, it's certainly where he believed her and the rest of her sex belonged. 

She suddenly became aware of how close she and Tom were, how his breath was ghosting past the shell of her ear as the two of them stood silent and still in the darkness. 

“I take it he wasn’t your choice of, um, dancing partner?” Tom whispered. 

She looked into his piercing blue eyes, it could have been a perfectly innocent question, if it weren’t for the crushing weight of the true answer. She felt her body chill and a familiar mask of cold indifference fell over her features. She straightened up again, pulling her body away from his. 

So little of her life had been of her choosing. As a child her father had ruled her life with an iron fist, and like iron he had never once bent or broken once his mind was set on something. From her schooling, her summers and her friends, her father had controlled every single day of her life until he'd handed her over to a husband of his choosing at the altar. 

A man 25 years her senior who had effortlessly replaced her father as the single most influential person in her life. From the wine they drank with dinner, to her allowance for clothing to how often she could drive the car, every choice was made for her by the Vice Admiral, as if she were simply a sailor in his navy.  

“Not always,” she replied, her voice haughty than it had been before, “but I make do,”. 

Tom quirked an eyebrow toward his hair line before stepping back with a grin and sitting himself on the edge of the large mahogany desk, the old wood didn’t bend or groan under his weight like the cheap furniture in the barracks. A thought flickered across his mind that his desk probably cost more than his family home. 

“How long have you been married?” he asked, leaning back on his hands and stretching his legs out in front of himself and crossing them at his ankles. 

“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” she replied coldly, before crossing her arms over her chest and hugging her crossed limbs against her body. 

“Come on now, I thought we were friends? We’re on a first name basis after all.". 

She narrowed her eyes at him, she was usually an exceptionally private person, after having grown up with very few friends she’d never learned to gossip or grown accustomed to sharing her thoughts and feelings with a close knit group and as an only child she hadn’t even had a sibling to confide in. But tonight, as if gripped by madness she found herself answering, her usual withdrawn nature opened up by this handsome stranger. 

“18 months,” she told him. 

“Not quite the fairy tale you were expecting?” He asked. 

“I never expected a fairy tale,” she snapped, drawing her arms even tighter to her body, her hands gripping the opposite elbow. 

“You’re dressed like one,” Tom said, letting his eyes travel up and down her body. 

She scoffed, feeling her skin prickle under his brazen gaze, she knew she was attractive enough and with the right outfit and a touch of rouge she was pretty but 18 months in a loveless marriage had shown her nothing of desire or need but she felt sure there was something of those foreign, base instincts in his blue eyes. Desperately needing something, anything to do with her body she leaned past him to pick up the packet of cigarettes he'd placed beside him on the desk. She took another one and lit it. 

“You'd find me quite dowdy if you went out there and saw some of the other wives,” she took a long drag on the cigarette, falling back on the self deprication she’d learned pleased her father and husband, “out there you'd never know there was a war on,”. 

“I was thinking the same about in here,” he said, glancing at the opulent surroundings. 

“Well, it’s you who wanted to see how the other half lived after all,” she replied, the corners of her mouth peeking up as she fought to keep her icy demeanour. 

“And I think I might have seen enough,” Tom said with a smirk as he stood, gathering his cigarette packet and giving it a small shake, the cigarettes inside bumped onto the side of the packet and each other, “and you're about to finish me fags,”. 

“You'll forgive me, I'm sure." she replied, letting her arms fall down to her sides again. 

“I'm sure,” Tom agreed as he stood, taking a small step to stand in front of her. 

He reached down, taking her hand in his and bringing it to his mouth, brushing his lips over the back of her hand in a soft caress. 

“Til the next time,” he said, his voice soft and low, “My lady,” he added with a wink before slipping past her and out the door she'd entered in. 

The scent of her lingered like a fog around Tom as he slipped, unseen through the corridors and passages back to the broken window and out in the cold night air. From either side no one would ever know the window was broken and he found himself hoping Mrs Randall wouldn’t be rushing to get it fixed. 

He made his way back across the lawns toward his barracks. Tom had been stationed at this stone frigate for 3 months and each and every day he had hoped to get orders from the Vice Admiral they would be going out to sea, to one of the great grey warships he could see from the back of the barracks, sitting in the harbour mouth. 

There was no moon in the sky that night and Tom had to make his way back to his quarters by starlight, he hoped the extra darkness would mean less of a chance to be caught out of bed quite so late. 

Luck was not on Tom’s side that night and the moment his foot crossed the threshold of his quarters a bright beam of light shone directly into his face, Tom squeezed his eyes shut, bringing his forearm up to shield his eyes from the burning beam. 

“Well, well, well Private Bennett,” a cold voice spoke from the darkness, “now, where might you have been?” 

Tom lied of course, claiming he’d been in the village having a drink in the local pub, while his Lieutenant Commander didn’t believe him for a moment and he couldn't prove Tom was lying or offer another more plausible explanation for the private being out of bed so late.

Tom’s punishment was being confined to the stone frigate for the next month, he would not be allowed to enjoy any shore leave, which meant no trips to the local village and no chance to chat to the local girls. He would instead be given menial tasks to complete, usually something pointless that no one else wanted to do. 

The first weekend of his punishment he was called to the Lieutenant Commander’s office. Tom held a deep dislike for the pinched faced, grey coloured man sitting behind the desk

“They need some help up at The Big House,” the  Lieutenant Commander started without preamble, “I seem to recall you being fairly useful with your hands, so I thought you could go up there and, well make yourself useful,” his clipped accent made the hair on the back of Tom’s neck stand up. 

Tom nodded in acknowledgement and opened his mouth to speak but the Lieutenant Commander continued as if Tom wasn’t even in the room. 

“Report up at The Big House today and tomorrow for your tasks. Ask for Bill,”

“Yes, Sir,” Tom said before saluting and leaving the room. 

He took his time making his way up to The Big House, stopping by his bunk first to collect a fresh pack of cigarettes before making his way slowly toward the house. The day was bright and Tom was enjoying the sun on his face as he walked over the immaculately kept lawn. He wondered as he walked if he'd be fixing the very window lock he’d used to break in a few days before, thinking of the window led him to thinking about the lady of the house and he hoped he might run into her again. 

He wanted to know what she looked like when she wasn’t wearing jewels and silks. He wanted to see if he could make her laugh, he wanted to know if she made a habit of sharing cigarettes with strangers or hiding from her husband.

At the back door of the house Tom asked a kitchen girl where he might find Bill and was directed to one of the low outbuildings that made up a small courtyard at the back of the house. Bill was a grizzled old man with a voice like tires crunching over gravel and one hand missing. 

Bill wasted no time in telling Tom he’d lost the hand during the Great War and how the navy had taken care of him since, not that Tom had asked. 

Tom was quickly put to work in a large, empty room on the west side of the house. The room’s ceiling was at least 12 feet high and had floor to ceiling windows that gave a sweeping view of the green valley and glittering open sea beyond. On the water, small boats dashed back and forth across the mouth of the harbour and large grey warships sat further out to sea. Beyond the warship the sea and sky merged into one at the horizon. 

After enjoying the view for a moment Tom set to the list of tasks he’d been given, the work was mindless and menial, oiling locks, cleaning and buffing brass work and a few minor repairs. 

Tom was winding the grandfather clock at the far end of the room when the double doors at the other end opened, the doors moved almost silently on the hinges he’d oiled but the sudden movement made him look up and he couldn’t stop his face breaking into a grin when he saw who stood between the now open doors. 

“We must stop meeting like this." 

He watched with rye amusement as Mrs Randall fought the smile that played on the corners of her lips. 

“Shall I bother asking you why you’re in my ballroom?” she asked, “Or how you got in here?” 

“’m being punished,” Tom replied with a shrug as he closed the door on the grandfather clock that was now ticking merrily, “And I used the back door. You can ask your handy man if you want.”

“And what are you being punished for?”

“Caught out of bed after ligh’s out,”

She laughed quietly, the old floorboards creaking under her feet as she made her way further into the room, letting her feet carry her towards one of the large windows. As she gazed through the glass Tom allowed himself a moment to look at her. The dress she wore today was far more practical and ordinary but the dark green colour suited her, she wore shoes with small heels that tapped on the floor as she walked and no diamonds to be seen. 

“I hope you feel it was worth it,” she replied, stopping at the window that gave the most central view of the valley below. She crossed her arms over her chest, curling her palms over the opposite elbow, Tom recognised the gesture from the previous night they’d met. 

“I’ve had worse evenings.” Tom replied with a shrug and grin. 

“I should apologise,” she started, turning toward Tom, keeping her arms wrapped tightly around her torso, “I spoke out of turn the other night and I don’t want you to think I’m… ungrateful for the position I find myself in." 

He shrugged before taking a tentative step toward her, not wanting to scare her into bolting from the room. There was something intoxicating to Tom about being alone with his woman, she should have been as unattainable to him as the moon was but she was right here, in the same room as him, barely 6 feet away. 

“We don’t 'ave to like the hand we’re dealt,” Tom said, the softness in his voice surprising even him, “but you can make it up to me with an invite to your next party,” he added with a grin and a wink. 

Tom was thrilled when she gave a small chuckle, the sound making the hair on Tom’s forearms prickle and stand to attention. She dropped her arms away from her middle, looking a little more relaxed than she had the moment before. 

“Somehow I think my insisting you receive an invitation to the Admirals next do might raise more than a few questions and cause even more trouble,” she replied. 

Oh, what’s life without a little bit of trouble?” Tom teased stepping closer again. 

“I take it you’re no stranger to trouble then Tom?”. 

“No, I’m just a bloody nuisance,” he grinned. 

Mrs Randall chuckled again, her eyes moving slowly and shyly over Tom’s face, taking in his features in the bright light of day. In the dark of the study he’d been handsome but in the sunlight filled ballroom he was beautiful, the type of face that Michaelangelo would have immortalised in marble. 

“I can believe that,”

Tom leaned casually against a small section of wall that separated two of the windows, the wallpaper was a creamy colour with swirling patterns picked out in pastel shades of gold. He half expected her to reprimand him for leaning his dirty shoulder on her wall but she didn’t comment, just kept her eyes on him. 

“What does the lady of the ‘ouse do at the weekend then?” he asked. 

“I’m balancing the books today,” she replied, “it’s dull work and I’m dreadful at it,”. 

“What no garden party to attend? No invite to Buckin’am Palace?” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes and scoffed, her lips turned up into a smile that made her eyes sparkle. 

“Just me and the accounts today, Buckingham Palace is next weekend,” she replied with a teasing lilt in her voice. 

“‘S’pect those books might be better company than that lot at Buckin’am Palace anyway,”. 

“They certainly talk less, but they still manage to give me a headache either way,”. 

From behind them the grandfather clock Tom had service chimed 4pm, reminding the pair of them of the world outside the peaceful room they found themselves in. 

“I must be going,” Mrs Randle said reluctantly, “It’s been a pleasure to see you again Tom,”. 

“Pleasures all mine,” he replied with a wink and was thrilled to see her cheeks staining bright red as she turned toward the still open double doors of the ballroom. 

He stared after her for a few seconds once she disappeared from his view and he felt a familiar tingling of anticipation. When it came to women he enjoyed the chase almost as much as he enjoyed his prize at the end but there was something different about this and about her and while Tom had no idea what that might be it excited him all the same. He found it very difficult to return to the list of tasks he still had to complete but forced himself to continue, if for no other reason than to ensure he’d get to return next week. 

After excusing herself, Mrs Randle headed to the privacy of her study to continue her mind numbing task of ensuring the household ledgers balanced. The windows of her study offered a panoramic view of the west lawns and the gently sloping valley beyond. In the distance she could see the small houses of the village, smoke curled out of the chimneys and she could just make out a few sailors making their way back to barracks after their Saturday trip to the pub. 

After an hour or so of looking over the accounts the numbers in the books seemed to start to wriggle about on the page and no matter how carefully she totted up the totals she couldn’t make the books balance. After rubbing out another incorrect total she finally admitted defeat and slammed the heavy, leather bound book closed and stood up.

She’d already decided to ask the housekeeper to go over the accounts and didn’t see any point in torturing herself with the fruitless task any longer. She knew it would be alright as long as the books were balanced by the end of the month when the Vice Admiral got his hands on them. 

She took hold of the book and headed toward the staff quarters; there was a concealed door in the library that took her down a short flight of steps and along a cool, dark corridor to the housekeeper's office. 

The sound of excited young voices could be heard from the staff dining room and she slowed to listen to the conversation. There was a pang of jealousy and longing as the voices of two of the young housemaids chattered and giggled behind the door. 

“Did y’see him? He was up in the ballroom?” one voice rushed. 

“He’s got the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen,” another voice continued with the longing sigh. 

“I saw him wink at Mrs Randall! Twice! Can you believe the cheek of him?!” the first voice said incredulously. 

“I hope he comes back, I heard Bill saying he wasn’t allowed off the frigate for 3 weeks,” the second voice said in the same dreamy tone. 

There was another round of giggling before she stepped away from the door and carried on toward the housekeepers office. Mrs Randall had no problem believing Tom Bennett would be exceptionally successful with the female members of staff, he’s already proved himself to be fairly successful with herself after all. 

She knocked briskly on the housekeeper's door, the large book still clutched to her chest with her other arm and her mind full of Tom Bennett. 

[shujohajohaminnie]

Pink Pandas

Pairing: Bang Chan x fem!reader

Genre: Smut, Fluffy 

Word Count: 3071

Summary: What happens when you come to find out the man you’ve had a crush on for the longest time also shares those same feelings for you? 

Afab!reader, Profanity, Pet names(Baby) Public sex kink, Raw sex (Wrap it before you tap it).

Surprise at the end

You sighed turning yet again in the bed that felt twenty times bigger. You touched his side confirming his absence. Reluctantly you got off the bed making your way out of your shared bedroom. Immediately opening the door you were exposed to the scene of the boys all sleeping on your couch and living room floor. Even with them having their own dorms they were still usually over at your place. You fixed the blanket to cover a shivering I.N’s body before you made your way to the room he spent most of his time in. Of course, he was there, the computer illuminated his face in the very dark room, one headphone on, to be on high alert just in case you or the kids needed him, but even then all of his attention was on the screen. 

“Chris?” Nothing, he was ‘in the zone’ like he’d call it. “Chan?” You walked towards him tapping his shoulder. He gasped jumping in his seat, his hand grasping his chest as he turned to look at you completely in shock. Yeah, this was the man who was going to defend you against harm. “Baby?” he whispered walking past you to turn on the studio light. “What are you doing up” “I can’t sleep” You whispered leaning your head on his chest. He laughed wrapping his arms around you. “Why not” “I can’t sleep if you're not in bed with me” “I know I know baby, but I’ve got a lot of stuff on my mind so I figured I’d try to distract myself with some song-making” “Do you wanna go on a drive to clear your head” “That would really help me”. You smiled pulling away and walked towards the door, grabbing the car keys. He laughed behind you taking the keys from your grasp. “I’ll drive baby, we need to come back home alive” “Why are you so sure that I’m a terrible driver” “Because remember what happened last time you drove” “How many times do I have to say it, it wasn’t my fault” “Your right baby… that sideway shouldn’t have been there”

His hand gripped the wheel while his other held yours over your thigh. “Are you okay?” You asked looking out the window. Nothing, yet again.“Chan” Nothing, You turned to see him just staring at the red traffic light. What was he thinking about? The light turned green but he wouldn’t go. “Chris” Nope. “Christopher!” The car behind you honked pulling him out of his head, he quickly hit the gas going straight, destination unknown. You let go of his hand running yours through your hair. “Whats wrong” he asked turning to look at you. “You… what’s wrong with you?” “Nothings wrong with me” “Chris… I’m not blind. When something’s wrong you detach… and you're not here with me. Where are you, what's up?” “I just have a lot of things on my mind-” “You said that” You sighed turning to look out the window again. You weren’t mad, you were worried. Lately, you’ve been seeing less and less of your boyfriend, he’s been working like crazy on the newest comeback. But you were worried maybe he’d been overworking too much. He hasn’t been sleeping well, You don’t know how he's eating since he usually spends his time either in the JYP building or in his studio in your shared apartment. It was starting to affect you in a way. Your mind wanders like usual already but when he’s not laying in bed next to you how can you ensure that he’s safe, or he won't pass out yet again from malnourishment? The only way you could make sure he was okay was if you could feel him, and he was with you physically but not mentally. “Pull into this parking lot please” You spoke softly pointing to the parking lot of the supercenter. This was a very popular store but at this unholy hour, the space around you was basically empty. 

“We must look weird parked in the way back of the parking lot at 3 a.-” “Don’t bullshit me right now Chris… are you okay?” You cut him off turning to look at him once more. He looked guilty, he looked like a child being scolded by his mother for getting a bad grade. He was caught, he couldn’t hide it anymore. “No” he whispered looking down away from your eyes scared that you’d see right through him and see what really was eating at him. You were taken aback. It was extremely rare that Chan would admit that he wasn’t okay. To anyone. His favorite answer to that question being the typical “I’m fine”. “I’m not okay” he said out loud. You heard him, but he wasn’t saying it to you, but to himself. He was accepting that he wasn’t fine. “You don’t have to tel-” “I’m just so stressed with everything going on… I told them I could take it all, dance practice, recording, then working my ass off to go back to those tracks fix a little here, and a little there and now with-”. He looked up at you, he almost sold himself out. “And now?” “It’s nothing” he brushed it off, turning to look at the bright lights of the store’s sign. 

You knew he wasn’t cheating, you crossed that off the list right away. For two reasons, he was far too busy to produce, record, practice, spend time with you, and now someone else? There were frankly not enough hours in the day to handle anymore. Reason number two being he loved you, he really did. You noticed it, in the way he spoke to you, the way he looked at you, the way he treated you. He made it very known that he loved you oh so much. So what the hell was this ‘and now’ situation? Was it something with work? Was it something with you? You could go about this in two ways, you could either get it out of him or you could wait until he told you at his own pace, when he felt like telling you. Would your overthinking self go insane knowing there was something else he wasn’t telling, yes. 

“What could I do” You sighed taking the high road. You slowly grabbed his hand interlocking your fingers. He turned to look at you once more visible tears in his eyes. This next addition to his problems was eating him alive, but you didn’t want to be the annoying girlfriend who forced everything out of him. You both believed in privacy in your lives, so you weren’t going to cross a boundary just for your sake. All you could do was hope he’d tell you soon. “I don’t know” he finally said grazing his finger over your hand. Of course, in typical Bang Christoper Chan manner, he was going to try to comfort you, even though he was the one that needed it. If he didn’t know how you could help him, you surely didn’t. “Maybe a hug?” You suggested turning your whole body to face him. “It’s a start” he forced a smile pushing his seat all the way back to give you space to crawl into his lap. You embraced him letting his head rest in your chest while you stroked his hair whispering sweet confessions of your love and support towards him. 

"What would I do without you?" "You'd be just fine" "No I wouldn't… I'd crash and burn" As much as romance movies romanticized that line the sad reality was that it wasn't romantic. Not even in the slightest. It was scary, having to picture the person you love the most 'crashing and burning' just because they couldn't be with you for whatever reason. "I'd be okay" he whispered, noticing the gears in your head turning. He knew you, you were his other half of course he knew that you'd be overthinking his comment. He rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes, enjoying the moment with you. It was moments like that he held dear to his heart. "I don't want to be without you, but I'd be okay… sad, but okay" he whispered his hands resting on your lower back drawing small circles on the exposed skin. " I don't want to be without you either Channie" "Then don't" he smirked kissing you. You felt him grow hard underneath you, obviously taking in your surroundings you pulled away both of you gasping for air. He whined feeling you trying to escape his grasp wanting to go back to your seat. He held you down though, his hold on you being way stronger than your attempts. “Chan someone could see” “Let them see”. You looked at him shocked, he took this moment to place chaste kisses on your neck. He’s always said crazy things like this, like the time the waiter was flirting with you during dinner. Chan was visibly jealous and as much as he tried to show that you were his, by wrapping his hand around you or kissing your lips the waiter wouldn’t give up. So he whispered in your ear low enough so the boys wouldn’t hear his sinful comment. “I’ll bend you over right now and fuck you in front of him so he can see who you belong”. Or like the time that you two went walking in the park at night to clear your heads and he sat in you in his lap on the park bench grinding his hard member into your clothed pussy, begging you to let him fuck you, in public for everyone to see. But those were all jokes, He wasn’t being serious, right?

“Chan” You moaned feeling his fingers draw circles on your clit over your sleep shorts. “Chan we can’t” You moaned melting into his touch. “Baby you’re giving me mixed signals” He laughed pulling his hand away to rest on your thighs. “Do you really want me to stop” You looked around taking in the fact that no one was really around. “Fuck it” You kissed him while your hands traveled down to his sweatpants pulling them down to let his dick spring out. He went back to continue his previous movements and you shook your head pushing his hands away. “Baby what's wrong I’m just gonna stretch you out” “Skip it I’m wet enough, I need you now” “Are you sure” “Mhmm just fuck me channie”. Hearing you call him in these kinds of situations always drove him insane. He positioned you over him pulling your shorts to the side once more allowing you to sink down on him. He watched your face contort into one of pure bliss and pleasure. While you were in fact wet enough you still should've allowed him to prep you a bit. You felt yourself split into two in the best way possible on his throbbing cock. He needed you just as much as you did but he also needed to make sure that you wouldn’t hurt yourself. “Tell me when baby” he grunted really fighting himself to thrust up into you. You nodded resting your face in the crook of his neck to hide yourself, just in case someone was watching you. “C-chris… you can move” You spoke against the skin of his neck. You began to pepper his neck with kisses, you so badly wanted to mark him so everyone could see that he was taken, that he was your ma-. “Mark me baby” “But what about-” “The makeup artist can cover it up, remember when they covered up the scratches you left behind that one time” He grunted thrusting up into you with every word he spoke. You obliged leaving behind hickies on his neck and chest for the world to see. 

The windows were fogging, your minds were completely mush at the overpowering feeling of pleasure the both of you were feeling. You threw your head back as you felt his hands on your ass gripping tight for better leverage. Your body had gone completely limp he was doing all the work by bringing you up and down on his dick like a lifeless sex doll. Occasionally checking up on to make sure he wasn’t hurting you. “You okay baby” “Mhmm feels so good channie… Making me feel so good” You moaned grabbing his shoulders for stability. He worked one hand down to your clit drawing you even closer to your high. “Channie I’m close” “Me too baby… hold it for me yeah, Can you hold it for me baby, Can you hold it for channie” You nodded bitting your bottom lip looking down at his fingers playing with you. You tightened around him trying your best to wait for him but you just couldn’t. You cummed around him feeling even less in control of your body you rested your head on his chest as he continued to fuck you. “Fuckkk” He grunted throwing his head back, as he quickly pulled out of you cumming on both of your clothes. “Fuck I’m sorry” “Shit what are we gonna do now” “I mean we could go back home” “And risk the kids seeing us with cum on our clothes” “Shit your right” The both of you caught your breath trying to come up with a solution. In sync, you two looked at the store in front of you and then back at each other. “We’ll be in and out” “Okay but we need to be quick, we can’t risk dispatch seeing us like this, imagine how much trouble you’d be in” “Yeah imagine how much trouble I’d be in for having sex with my beautiful girlfriend oh my god” he said sarcastically rolling his eyes. He really did hate how there was an unrealistic expectation held up for him and anyone in the industry. They were only human and they had to do human things. Poor boys couldn’t even yawn on camera. 

He put his hoodie up and put on a mask to disguise himself, holding your hand and guiding you, you stood behind him. Yeah, there was cum on him but it was worse on you. You two both made it to the girl section first, you saw something that he obviously didn’t. Quickly you walked away from him and grabbed the onesie and then picked one in his size.  Not noticing you gone Chan went to the guy section his mind also seeing the onesies section. “Okay, baby quickly look for a good one” No answer. “Y/n” he turned around confused at your silence, only to notice your absence. “Y/n?!” “Okay, so I may have found the perfect one” You laughed walking towards him hiding something behind your back. “Baby hide yourself someone can see” “Calm down Chris… there's literally no one here” You laughed getting closer to him. He tried to peek at what you were hiding only for you to back up and conceal it more. “Nuh uh… patience babe… close your eyes” “Baby” “I’ll only show you if you close your eyes and show me your hands” “But I already have one in mind” “Christopher Bahng” “Yes ma’am” he closed his eyes holding out his hands. You placed the onesie in his size in his open hands smiling. “You may open” He opened his eyes looked down then closed his eyes again. “Y/n I’m giving you three seconds to get this away from me” “But it’s cute” You laughed taking it from his hands and holding it up so he could see it in all it’s glory. He opened his eyes rolling his eyes at the sight. “It’s very pink” It was in fact very pink, knowing his obvious distaste towards color you had to pick it. You didn’t notice all the details at first, but after paying very close attention to the pajama you notice the pink fluffy tutu the words princess written across the chest, and the crown on the hood. It was perfect. “Put that down and help me find a wolf onesie” “But what about this don’t you want to be a pretty princess” “I’m gonna have to pass”

“Nope, babe sorry just these” You sighed holding out the panda onesies. "Pandas? Are you sure there aren't any wolves" “I’m sure it’s either the pandas or the princess onesies” “But-” “Hey you're the one who cummed on both our outfits so pick one” “Fine… the pandas it is” “Fuck I really wanted the pink one” “Maybe next time baby” “Do you plan on cumming on my pj’s again” “Maybe” He quickly paid and led you both out of the store back to the car where you both changed into your new outfit discarding the old clothes into his back seat. 

You looked in the mirror laughing at the way your hair was a mess after changing, and Chan looked at you with pure love and devotion as you fixed it. “This” He whispered going into the glove compartment of the car, pulling out a tiny black velvet box. “This is what was on my mind. . . It’s been on my mind lately how much I love you and how I want to take that next step with you, I can’t imagine a life without you, and I know more than anything that we’re ready for this new stage, but I’ve been stressing on how to make it perfect… for my perfect girl” It was your turn for tears to form in your eyes as you looked at him, then at the box, then back at him. “Chirs…. This is perfect” “Really” “Mhmm” You bit your lip to fight back tears. “Well in that case” he smiled opening the box to reveal the most perfect, most beautiful-looking ring you’ve ever seen. You couldn’t stop them anymore, tears were falling down your face for sure now. He noticed taking his thumb to wipe them away. “Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n would you make me the happiest man and marry me” ��Yes”.

[milf-harrington]

the overwhelming feeling of being watched in the dark

steddie | 2.3K | read on ao3

---

There was something under Steve Harrington’s bed. 

It hadn’t always been there– once upon a time, there’d been nothing but empty space between the bed-frame and the dark blue carpet lining his bedroom floor. Once upon a time, he’d sleep sprawled across his bed like it was bigger than it was, arms and legs dangling over the sides carelessly, no thoughts spared towards monsters that could be watching through the gap in the closet door. 

No thoughts spared towards monsters at all.

Until three years ago, when he found out one had apparently been running around in the woods behind his house. Of course, he found out about that little tidbit of information after he’d fought the thing off with a baseball bat that Jonathan Byers had stuck nails in. 

Curiously, in November of 1983, Steve developed a troublesome fear of lights.

After the shitshow at the Byers house, he couldn’t stand the quiet buzzing of the bulbs or the way adrenaline gripped his throat every time too many appliances made the lights pulse. Lights flipped on, or off , without warning threw him into fight or flight mode, one hand reaching for a weapon that wasn’t there. 

So instead he kept the lights off as often as he could, relearning the shape of his house in the dark, right up until Halloween of 1984. 

1984 brought junkyards, traversing an underground maze while concussed, and the chittering screech of dogs-that-weren’t-dogs. His hallway at night became a winding tunnel with the potential to fill with writhing, faceless, bodies whose heads peeled open like some sort of fucked up banana, and suddenly lights didn’t seem so bad. 

And then, like the universe just couldn’t help itself, 1985 left him with blood in his eyes and drugs in his blood and the chilling understanding that some very bad people had some very sensitive information about him and his friends. 

By his 4th brush with death-by-alternate-dimension, his new fear of the dark had become a downright hassle. Embarrassing and impossible to logic his way out of.

Steve was frozen in the doorway of his bedroom, watching Eddie take his rings off. He did this thing where he'd poke his top lip with the tip of his tongue, concentrating hard on twisting each bit of jewellery off before reaching forward to drop it onto Steve's fancy writing desk. They clattered against the wood, ringing sharply when they skimmed each other, and Steve was trying very hard to focus on all of that and not the sight of Eddie’s ankles exposed to the underside of his bed. 

A grown man could fit under there and Steve knew that because sometimes he hid under his bed when the world was too much. 

Eddie looked over his shoulders, eyebrow cocked somewhat playfully. He was always some level of playful, like he didn't know how to exist in the world without turning it into a game. “You planning on standing there all night?”

Steve’s eyes dropped from his face to the space between the carpet and the bed-frame. A man could fit under there. Someone who knew his name and had his keys because his pockets had been emptied when he and Robin had been captured. 

He swallowed, trying to ignore it, and looked back to find that Eddie’s expression had softened into something else. Something concerned. “Stevie?”

There’s someone under the bed , he wanted to say. Even if the logic wasn’t foolproof, the connection had already been made in his head and there was no thinking his way out of it. Someone could fit under there, so someone had fit under there and now if Steve turned off the light they were both going to die. 

He glanced at the light switch, sitting innocently by his shoulder, and a cold panic coiled tight in his stomach. 

“You can keep the light on.” Eddie offered, gently, fiddling with his hair. “I’m not going to judge you man, I’ve needed the bathroom light on since I was a kid. And after the shit you’ve seen?” He blew air through his lips, cutting a hand through the air. 

And Steve knew that, had been there on some of those nights. The ones where Eddie kept his bedroom door open because sometimes the kid that still existed in his brain got scared of things that hadn’t happened in over a decade. 

But it didn’t work the same for Steve. After so many years of not being afraid, of having no reason to be, he still found it almost impossible to sleep without total darkness. Like the damaged part of his brain was ringing alarm bells, but the older bits still recognised the safety in the shadows.

“It’s not that.” Steve admitted, crossing his arms over his chest and feeling childish. There’s someone under the bed, he wanted to say. Could feel the words squeezing his throat like tails and vines and the hands trying to hurt. If I turn the lights off I don’t know what will happen.

God, his bat was under there– the one with the nails driven through it, crooked and rusted with old blood. Whoever was under there probably already had their hands wrapped around it, waiting for the cover of dark to use it.

There were lots of things under Steve’s bed. They weren’t always there at the same time, but the possibility of them was burned into the wooden slats holding his mattress up.

The Soviets had known his full name. 

There was a lot you could find out just by knowing something like that, especially with a name like Harrington in a town like Hawkins. And yeah, Starcourt had burned down, half the base blown up, but there had been survivors because some of them had dragged Hopper off to Russia. 

Which means there were still people out there who might know his name.

Most of Steve’s nightmares were set in that base. 

Eddie was looking more worried the longer Steve went without saying anything, just standing next to the light switch and not doing anything. He bit the inside of his cheek, cracking the knuckles on one hand to assure his friend that he wasn’t being Vecna’d or anything.

He should check.

He’d probably look like a fucking weirdo but there was something under the fucking bed and there would be until he could make sure there wasn’t. It was a reckless sort of certainty that burned through his stomach, tight and cold around his throat. 

---

read the rest on ao3 'cause i didn't wanna post the full thing on here

[thatlovinfeelin]

The Way Home - Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

In which you meet Bradley during a wedding and your relationship evolves over the years into something more than just fwb.

The Virginian sun was warm against your bare skin as you sat at Buckroe Beach in Hampton Virginia. You were home for an old friend’s wedding taking place at Fort Monroe, just a quick drive away. She was marrying some military boy, which didn’t come as a big surprise considering where you were. The Tidewater area of Virginia was more or less filled to the brim with military, thanks to the multiple bases nearby. 

You wiggled your toes in the sand, smiling softly at the feeling. You lived too far inland now, nowhere near the beach, which normally didn’t bother you. But every time you managed to make it home, you’re always reminded about how much you missed it.

Shade suddenly fell on you, blocking the warm sun.You propped yourself up on an elbow before tipping your sunglasses down, “Hey, Gigantor, could you move? You’re blocking the sun.”

The tall man seemed to flinch before looking down at you. His cheeks were red, you couldn’t tell if it was a blush, sunburn, or if they just stayed that way. He ran a hand through his short hair before mumbling an apology and stepping out of the way. 

Everything about him screamed military, you spent enough time around them to know. You surveyed the way he was built and the way he was standing. Definitely not Air Force, and somehow you guessed he wasn’t one of the Army boys either. 

“Hey, big guy, have we met before?” You questioned sitting up fully before taking your sunglasses off. 

“Pre-wedding brunch yesterday,” He replied after looking at you for a minute, “I’m one of the groomsmen.”

“Ah,” You nodded, “So you are military then.”

He scratched the back of his neck, “Yeah, guilty I guess.”

You moved over on your towel before patting the empty space. The man glanced around the beach, like he was making sure no one was watching, before he carefully sat down next to you. Now that he was next to you, he seemed even bigger. He had to be young, like the same age as you, maybe a year or two older, but he was solid. His shoulders were broad, and muscles.. Oh god, his muscles. They were defined without being like meat-head gym-rat defined. Like he got them just from day to day work and not spending hours and hours in the gym.

“So, what branch?” 

“How did you even guess I was military?” He questioned you. 

You shrugged, a small smirk forming, “My dad is a Marine. Not active duty of course, but he still works as a contractor. So, correct me if I’m wrong here, but I’m guessing you aren't in the Air Force, and you don’t seem like a soldier. So that leaves the Navy or Marines.”

He nodded along before sticking out his hand, “Bradley Bradshaw, United States Navy.”

“Ah, a sailor then,” You shook his hand back, “Y/N Y/L/N, total civilian. Nice to meet you Bradley.”

He grinned, you almost swore your stomach tightened a little. You liked that smile. His smile was a hell of a lot better than some of the guys you tried to go out with in the last few months. But you only had the weekend, you were only here for the wedding and then you’d go right back home. 

“So, are you stationed here?” You asked him. 

“Over in Virginia Beach. They have me at Oceana.”

“Personnel or are you one of the flyboys?” You questioned.

He let out a little laugh, “Guilty, I’m an aviator.”

You leaned back to look at him fully, “Damn, that’s impressive. Alex is just a mechanic. But you actually get to fly the things?”

The two of you fell into an easy conversation. You weren’t entirely sure what it was about him that made him so easy to talk to, but you liked it none the less. He seemed so comfortable sitting on the beach with you. 

Part of you began hoping you would be able to dance with him at the wedding. You wanted to spend just a little more time with him before you left, probably never to see him again. 

“Are you hungry?” You asked some time later. 

He shrugged, “I could eat.”

“Great, c’mon, I know a great Italian place just down the road. They have the best subs and I’ve been craving one for months.”

He laughed and followed her as she nearly ran down the road. He soon found himself in a dimly lit italian restaurant, tucking into a big sub. You were right, the sandwich was amazing. The conversation seemed to flow easily. You chatted about your upbringing in Virginia. He told you all about his army of uncles, who also doubled as his father’s old flying buddies. The both of you laughed about certain things the Navy did that just didn’t make sense, and the list was long to be sure. 

Before you knew it, you had to leave to meet your friend to get ready for the rehearsal dinner. Admittedly though, you weren’t ready to leave your little one on one with the pilot across from you. Somehow you were quite drawn to him, and you liked it. 

“See you around, Bradshaw,” You gave him a little salute with a wink before hopping in your car. 

The next day you didn’t get a chance to see him until everyone was lining up for the processional. He looked good in his dress uniform, too good in fact. You found yourself licking your lips a little as you stood beside him. He was the best man, as it turned out. Which meant you were able to stand side by side with him the whole time. 

He didn’t make eye contact with you, however you caught him glance down at you and smiling a little. You looked damn good, if you had to say so yourself. As many times as you’d been a bridesmaid, you never loved a dress as much as you loved this one. Your friend did a damn good job picking them. 

The ceremony was beautiful. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t shed a tear or two. Truthfully, you were just so happy your best friend finally found her Prince Charming. Even if he was a Naval mechanic. She loved him more than anything, and that was enough for you. 

So when it came time for their first dance, you held your glass of champagne close to your chest and wondered if one day you’d be able to have the same thing. You had no boyfriend, no one to call your own, and certainly no prospects. Any of the dates you went on recently were horrible and you wished you could forget them. Hookups weren’t in the cards either since no one seemed to know how to actually give you what you needed. Bottom line, you were all alone. 

“They look good together,” You glanced over your shoulder to see Bradley standing just behind you, the same wistful look in his eyes. 

“They really do,” You agreed, “She made a beautiful bride. Alex is definitely a lucky guy.”

Bradley nodded in agreement and took a long sip from his glass of what looked like whiskey. His tie was gone, along with his suit jacket. He also unbuttoned a couple of his shirt as well. He looked even better now, it made your mouth water just enough. 

“You wanna dance?” He asked you, finishing his drink, “I promise not to step on your toes.”

“I can’t promise the same thing, I’ve been told I have two left feet,” You admitted, drinking more champagne. 

He looked down at his feet, kicking his toe, “The shoes are sturdy, I think I could handle it.”

So you danced, and danced, and then danced some more. Both of you took breaks to get another drink, and then it was right back to the dance floor. Somehow, you wandered off, finding yourselves outside of the reception venue. 

You weren’t sure how his lips ended up on yours, or how your hands tangled into his hair. Or how you managed to find yourself in his bed with his cock burried impossibly deep within you, but you weren’t going to question any of it, or complain. 

But the next morning as you were both getting dressed, he was kind enough to lend you a shirt and a pair of sweats so you didn’t have to do a total walk of shame back to your own hotel room. You felt a tug somewhere deep within your chest, like you were getting ready to walk out on something important. So instead you turned back around, dress balled up in your arms, you heels dangling from your fingers. 

“How about we make a deal?” You questioned, stepping back towards him. 

“A deal?”

“Well, you’re here, and I come home every now and again…” You explained, “And well, I really, really enjoyed last night. Seemed like you did too.”

He nodded, “Go on.”

“How about we call anytime we’re near each other, maybe grab dinner and uh, you know?”

Bradley couldn’t help but smile a little bit. He didn’t want you to walk out anymore than you did. The thought of being able to see and talk to you again made his heart seem to skip a beat. 

“Yeah, I think I’d like that,” He replied, trying to sound as calm as possible. 

“Cool, well, uh- I guess I should give you my number.”

That’s how you found yourself in the same situation a handful of times over the next couple of years. You’d call and text any time something major happened, for some reason Bradley was one of the first people you wanted to tell. He did the same. Slowly, you built a relationship with Bradley, a friendship. 

You spent several nights in bed with him when he came to see you one month when he had leave. The light kisses and soft touches were enough to make you feel incredibly safe and almost loved. 

You found yourself missing Bradley Bradshaw when you weren’t with him. You didn’t call him Rooster like everyone else in his life, except for when you were joking with him. He told you that he loved the way you used his first name. While you loved the way he said your name. You loved the warmth that spread throughout your chest. You wanted to hate it, but you couldn’t. 

“I’m being moved again,” He told you over the phone one day, “They’re sending me overseas this time.”

“For how long?” You questioned, feeling your throat close up. 

You could almost picture him shrugging, “I don’t know. As long as they need me, I guess?”

“Can I see you before you leave?” You questioned, unable to stop the small amount of hope. 

“Not this time,” He replied regretfully, “I ship out in twelve hours. You wouldn’t be able to get here in time. Not from New York, plus you have that conference.”

“Fuck the conference,” You mumbled, “You’re getting ready to leave the country.”

“I know,” He sighed, “I’m sorry. I would’ve told you if I knew sooner. I wish I could see you.”

“Just-just be safe, okay? I won’t make you promise me anything but that,” You swore. 

You were glad the way he couldn’t see you clutching your chest. Or the way your eyes were burning with tears. After all, you were just hookups, nothing more. Right? Friends with benefits. You only saw him once or twice a year, if that. You had no claim to him, no right to him. Any type of call you got you savored, even if it threatened to break your heart into a million pieces. 

“I’ll do my best, I promise.”

You hated the fact that you were so far away. You hated that you didn’t even live in Virginia. Every part of you somehow ached to be back with him. You missed him even if you didn’t have the right to. Sporadic nights in bed with him just weren’t enough anymore. You wanted more, so much more, but you didn’t know how to ask for it. Or if Bradley even wanted it. 

“I’ll try to call you when I can,” He promised you, “But I normally give away my phonetime to the guys with families, but I’ll keep one or two for you.”

You felt empty and hollow when you hung up with him. You wanted to call him back and tell him how you felt, but you knew you couldn’t, he needed to focus on what he was about to do. Not some girl that he hooked up with whenever he was in town. 

So you went about your normal life. The meetings and phone calls. Slowly unpacking boxes that were stacked almost to the ceiling of your studio apartment in Raleigh, NC. You went out to a couple of bars, met some friends. But you always lunged for your phone when it rang, no matter the time of night. You never wanted to miss a call from Bradley. 

Only, the last time you talked to him, you ended up fighting. It was stupid really, but you were stubborn and didn’t want to apologize or admit he was right. So when you were on a date and your phone rang, you simply silenced it. 

“Do you need to get that?” Your date asked you, pointing to your purse. 

“No, it’s no one important.”

Even the words seemed to hurt you. He was important, so important that you wanted to move back to Virginia to be close to him. That’s what the whole fight was about. You wanted to uproot and he kept telling you how stupid that would be. You didn’t listen, or maybe you didn’t want to listen. Bottom line it ended with you screaming at him before hanging up. 

“Who is it?”

You just shrugged and took a sip from your cocktail, “Someone I used to hook up with. He’s deployed right now, but I’m really the only friend not in the military that he has. But he can wait, I can email him later.”

It was almost halloween, the fall air outside was chilly enough for you to need a jacket as you left the restaurant more than an hour later. You pulled your phone out from your bag before playing Bradley’s voicemail, expecting to hear him begging you to just talk to him again. 

“Hey, it’s uh- it’s me. Look, I don’t have much time okay, so I need to make this quick. But I’m kind of glad you ignored my call, because I’m not sure I could say all of this with you on the other end of the line.” He took a deep breath, so loud even you could hear it through the recording, “I was stateside, but not for long. They called me back for some special mission, and I’m not sure I’m gonna make it back for this one. We’re on the boat right now, I’m gonna be getting in my plane here in a few minutes. I already told someone how to get in touch with you if something happens to me, okay? They’ll call you, because you’re all I’ve got.”

You clutched the phone, starting to hate yourself for not picking up. The tears that ran down your cheeks were even colder thanks to the fall air. Why did you have to be so mad at him for not letting you ask for a transfer to be closer to him when he came back? He was right, you couldn’t uproot everything just on the off chance that he was going to stay in Oceana. 

 “I need you to listen to me, okay? Really listen to me,” He said sternly, “I love you. I know it’s a really fucking bad time. And I know this wasn’t part of the deal, we were just supposed to fuck and have fun and not catch feelings. But I caught them. Because I really fucking love you. And I hope I get the chance to actually say it to you. I hope the next time you get a phone call I’ll be the one calling, not someone with bad news. But I couldn’t do this without you knowing. I wish I could tell you where I was, or what we were doing. Just know….I’m gonna do my best to come home to you. But…between you and me, I’m a little scared. So I’m just gonna remember what it felt like when you held me that one time after I had that shitty nightmare. Because that’s what I need.”

There was a loud sound somewhere on the boat, “I have to go….I love you, okay? I know you’re mad at me, but I hope you understand why I said what I said…but I love you.”

The line went dead. And over the next few days you listened to that voicemail again and again. You went through the motions, but truthfully you were too worried to really focus on work or your friends or the second date you somehow agreed to even though you didn’t want to go. You just wanted Bradley. But you didn’t even know if he was okay. You didn’t know how long this mission was going to take. You knew nothing.

So you tried and tried and tried. You went as far as to dig out the old college shirt you stole from Bradley the last time you were at his place. He probably didn’t even know you had it. You hoped he didn’t, because you didn’t want to give it back. 

Just like you didn’t want to be on this stupid date. But you didn’t know how to get out of it. He was so nice, almost too nice, and you didn’t want to hurt his feelings. But you felt nothing towards him. Maybe you could ghost him after this was over? Pretend it never happened and keep wishing Bradley would call you, because that would mean he was safe. 

“You know what?” You mumbled, “Fuck this. This isn’t working. You’re a great guy, but I’m sorry. I can’t be here. I need to go.”

You put down some money on the table and rushed out of the restaurant, pulling your jacket even closer to your body. Normally you wouldn’t walk alone in downtown Raleigh, but you wanted the cold air. 

Only, you stopped dead in your tracks when your phone started ringing. You fished it out, taking a deep breath before answering. His voice filled your ear, rough and a little broken as he said your name. But it was him, it was Bradley. He was safe and alive and that’s all you could think about. People pushed past you, jostling you a little as you stood in the middle of the sidewalk. You were sure your eyes were blown wide open as tears started to fill them. He was okay.

“I love you too,” You forced out before he could say anything else, “I really fucking love you too.”

“I’m in Raleigh, I flew in as soon as they let me go,” He told you, “Where are you? I need to see you. I need to hear you say it in person.”

You quickly looked around to find the street signs, because your brain seemed to forget everything else. He was okay, and he was here. He wanted to see you. And you wanted to love him until nothing else mattered. 

“I’m only a couple blocks away. I’ll be there in a minute,” He promised, “I look a little rough, had a bit of trouble during everything, but I couldn’t wait.”

“I love you,” You repeated again, because that’s all that mattered. 

“I love you. I’ll be right there.”

But all you could hear was him saying that he loved you. All you could feel was the warmth in your chest despite the cold outside, because you loved him and he loved you in return. He was here and coming for you. You could be together for a while, maybe more than just a night. 

“Look up.”

You could see him smiling in a rented pickup truck just in front of you. You hung up your phone, nearly squealing as you launched yourself into the front seat. There wasn’t time to look over the cuts on his face and neck. No time to comment on how he looked, because instead you kissed him. Hard. Like there was no time in the world for being soft and sweet.

“I love you.”

He smiled against your mouth and pulled back just a little, tucking a stray bit of hair behind your ear, “I love you, so so much. I should’ve said it sooner.”

“No,” you shook your head, kissing his hand, “This is perfect. You’re perfect.”

“No more just fucking then?”

You laughed and kissed him again before cars started honking behind you, “Oh honey, we’re long passed just fucking. But if you don’t take me back to my apartment and fuck me there, I’m going to explode.”

He laughed, pulling away from the curb, his smile big enough to make your heart squeeze a little, “Well, we can’t have that. Show me the way home, honey.”

[frozenjokes]

Rage Room (I’m Loving A Losing Battle, But I Can’t Quite Seem To Let Go)

in which aromantic scar finally tells his friends what’s been happening between him and Grian, and how he processes the space between them

“It’s just- not fair!” Scar smashed the bottle against the tile floor, the glass pelting the ankles of his reinforced pants.

Bdubs clapped behind him, though stopped when Scar turned around, visibly not in the mood. Admittedly he knew he was shooting low when he went on, but Scar didn’t care, “And I’m kind of pissed off about Etho! If the roles were switched, I would be there, and he said he’d be here last time he missed.”

“Oi,” Cleo cut in, about as unamused as Scar figured they’d be. “No friendly fire.”

“Is it really friendly fire if he’s not here.” Scar huffed, but Cleo knew better than to take his words at face value, and shut him up with a firm glare.

“And you better start talking before I make you pay for all of this.” Her words were rugged, but Scar knew she didn’t mean it, and he could take as much time as he needed. But really, if he was taking shots at Bdubs, he probably should cut to the chase. This was why they were here. This was why they had all made this pact in the first place.

“Grian is.” Scar started, stilted, “Sorry, Bdubs. I shouldn’t have said that. Grian won’t talk to me anymore. He doesn’t- want to talk to me.”

“What?” Bdubs said, eyes flying open, and yeah, no one here was really caught up with his whole.. situation. Anything that felt close to Mumbo he tended to avoid, and basically everything about Grian in the past weeks was Mumbo adjacent.. and also a little sensitive. Not something he was eager to talk about. Scar was more than a little pent up, and based on the expressions of concern across Cleo and Bdubs’ faces, it must have been pretty obvious. “Weren’t you guys hanging out nearly everyday for- I don’t know, it’s been a month at least, right? Did something happen? Hasn’t Grian been driving you around everywhere, too? You’ve sure been asking me a lot less.”

“Yeah. We were.” Scar spoke stiffly, picking up another empty bottle and spinning it in his hands. He chucked it at the wall, aiming at the newly set up targets Cleo had implemented a couple weeks ago. A good choice. Fit with the theme of the axe throwing/rage room combo. The bottle shattered near the bullseye, unsurprising, given their whole friend group had pretty tight aim. Still satisfying. “Until he went and fell in love with me.”

The memories burned like open wounds, like red, angry flesh, like sunburns on your eyelids, like the stinging smell of bleach. Cleo said something, some sort of assent, but Scar didn’t hear it, smashing two more bottles for release, though he didn’t feel any less like his ribs had been torn from his chest, hanging limply on hooks, dripping on his face from his place on the cold ground, bleeding out, dying, but never quickly enough.

“I don’t like labels, alright, you all know this, but Grian says aromantic, and that works for now, because I don’t love him like he loves me and that’s fine. That’s fine! That. Is. Fine.” Scar took a bat, needing something bigger, needing more release, and the old TV would work just fine, “And you know how I feel about dating. I like it. I like to get to know strangers, I like to feel things out, and I like to be close! But you know who I don’t like to date?” The question wasn’t meant to be answered. Scar swung his bat, splitting the TV screen with a satisfying crack. “Friends. Good friends. Friends that mean a lot, friends that I can’t afford to lose when everything goes to shit.”

Scar hit the TV a couple more times, physically battling away distress, “I was so afraid when he brought it up- dating. I was so afraid. I couldn’t just date Grian, because it would end and I would lose him and maybe he’d say we could still be friends and I would say yes! Yes, please, please can we still be friends, and he would say that’s okay, and then two weeks later he’d slam me with a message about ‘needing space’ and ‘not wanting to talk for a while’ and suddenly, suddenly my heart’s being ripped out of my chest and stomped on, but it would be fine, right? It would be fine, because after he’s taken his time, we could be friends again, and things could return to normal. No!” The TV was hardly satisfying to hit anymore, reduced to shattered glass and warped plastic under Scar’s assault.

“It never just. Goes back to normal. You try, and you try and you try, but they just can’t do it, they just can’t love you anymore, and suddenly your best friend is slipping away and there’s fucking nothing you can do about it. Because you dated them. Because you took things ‘to the next level,’ because you made something volatile without even knowing, and the next thing you know, it’s blown up in your face, and you’ve been completely blindsided again.” Scar’s arms shook, and gently, from behind, Cleo laid a hand on his shoulder, sliding down his arm to take the bat he was gripping so tightly. Scar let go when they touched his hands, but his teeth remained locked, grinding near painfully.

“Deep breaths, Scar. Breathe with me. Let me count for you,” and Cleo did, counting to five and back again, forcing Scar to take a step back. Scar wasn’t someone who particularly valued meditation or breathing; it was often too difficult to focus, especially alone, and he was easily frustrated knowing how he should be feeling, but Cleo had a way of grounding him, and when Bdubs was doing the same exercises at his side, Scar didn’t feel so stupid. And it did help. Fives minutes to breathe really did wonders sometimes; it was a shame Scar couldn’t quite manage to utilize the tool as effectively when he was alone. Not that he ever remembered to try.

And now it was quiet, and Scar was so vulnerable, and there was no more anger to hide behind, because it was all just sadness, stiff and aching so impossibly deep.

“I thought if we didn’t.. date.. I thought things could just be normal. That nothing would change. But every awful thing just got expedited- he doesn’t want to see me, he doesn’t want to talk to me- he needs space, he said he needed space, but I know what that means now.” Scar had to sit down, and Bdubs joined him, Cleo standing close by. “I feel so helpless. And it didn’t even matter. I just wish I knew so badly, so I could have said yes, so at least we might have had a chance before it all went to shit. I could keep my friend a little bit longer. I wish I understood how he felt. I wish I felt what he felt. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard.” Scar let his head drop to his hands, voice muffled under his palms, “I just kinda hate myself sometimes.”

Cleo put a hand on his shoulder, a question of touch, and one that Scar accepted with closed eyes. “It would still be hard, Scar. I can promise you that. If this isn’t what you want to hear right now, then you can let me know, but I have to think Grian and your other exes of the past who you haven’t kept in contact with were and are just as torn up as you. Maybe they need to let go for themselves, but I can tell you from personal experience, that doesn’t make it hurt any less. It doesn’t make you miss them any less.”

“But when people leave me, it’s always because in some way, their lives would be better without me,” Scar felt like wailing, but in reality, his speech was far more soft, “And my life is always worse. It’s always worse. Like I’m just a plague on my friends, and I have no idea how to fix myself to keep this from happening.”

Bdubs squeezed his hand to get his attention, and Scar knew what was coming, he just couldn’t love himself right now.

“There’s nothing to fix, Scar. You’re one of the most delightful people I know, and I mean that. The way you navigate the world is inspiring.”

“Just doesn’t feel like it right now.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Cleo said, something faraway about the words, “You just should know, that’s all. How we feel.”

“I just wish I was normal.”

“I don’t,” Bdubs snorted, something so passionately reactionary, Cleo laughed, and Bdubs himself looked a bit surprised by his own words, then a tad embarrassed, “I mean, come on. You’re a complete monster, and I love it. I love how comfortable you are about touch, I love how physical you are, and I love how normal you make it feel. Sometimes I want to fall asleep on my friends’ shoulder, or hold hands, or just be held, you know? And no one does it like you, Scar, no one. I think everyone ought to take a couple pages from your book.”

Scar wasn’t quite sure what to do with that, but it wasn’t the type of thing you argued about. You just had to accept it. In all honesty, having people to love him when he couldn’t manage it himself felt indescribably secure. Like a heated blanket wrapped tightly over his shoulders when he was so, so cold. But he couldn’t acknowledge it either, not when he couldn’t breathe the words. So he let it hang, hoping he’d remember to say something later. He knew he would. For now, Scar dodged around the words, stuck in his own raw truth.

“I don’t want to go through this again.”

“I know,” Cleo kept their hand on his shoulder, and Scar wanted to cry.

“And I- Okay, so I can’t really talk about this.. NDAs and such, but I was working on something with someone- something cool, all three of us, Grian included. And at the same time Grian.. cut contact.. I haven’t been able to reach this other uh- colleague, and I don’t know what happened! I don’t know anything, and I have no way of contacting this other guy, and Grian doesn’t know either, and I was so excited, but it just feels like everything is falling apart around me. And- and don’t be mean about the other guy, please, it’s not his fault.” Cleo looked quite skeptical about that, but a pleading look from Scar was enough to get her to leave well enough alone, “I just wish I knew why. Or if he was coming back. Might not have been able to communicate that anyway though, there’s a bit of a language barrier.”

“Can’t use google translate?” Bdubs asked, and Scar couldn’t stop the bitter laugh that escaped his throat.

“Hadn’t thought of that,” he mumbled, which was enough to get Bdubs to let it go. Cleo didn’t look happy, but she didn’t push either.

“That fucking sucks,” she said instead, and Scar laughed in earnest, along with Bdubs, the entire air feeling just a little bit lighter.

“It does,” Scar sighed, resting a cheek on his fist, “Guess I have to find something new to throw myself into. I just really wanted this. I really wanted this.”

There was a long silence, Scar having nothing else to say, and his friends in a similar boat. There wasn’t much to say. They knew. Scar knew they understood. But there was nothing anyone could do. Nothing that could make this any less horrible. But Bdubs did perk up after a minute, catching Scar and Cleo’s attention

“We could go skiing!” Bdubs suggested, to a chorus of groans from Scar and Cleo. Bdubs huffed, affronted as he crossed his arms, “You two need to live a little. Even if you suck, you’re both exhausted by the end of the day, which would do Scar some good in my opinion, and I know you’d be able to take the time off for an impromptu trip.”

“I don’t even think you like skiing,” Cleo rolled their eyes, a laugh under her voice, “You went on one trail ride in those mountains and it changed your life, that’s what. There are no wild horses out there, Bdubs, the guide lied to you.”

“She did not lie! There are horses, and they’re going to see me and know.”

“Know.. what, exactly?” Scar teased, and Bdubs puffed up, as if this was the most blasphemous question Scar could have asked.

“They will just know. And anyway, Etho believes there’s horses out there too, he does, and he wants to see them just as much.”

“Pretty sure Etho is also fucking with you,” Cleo said, smug, and Bdubs gasped.

“Never!” But something stopped him from ranting on; a short pause, a bit of uncertainty. A guilty glance in Scar’s direction. “I’m really sorry he’s not here. I told him- I don’t know. He said something came up last minute and wouldn’t explain. I’m not happy with him either- quite frankly, I’m embarrassed.”

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” Scar rubbed his neck, frowning, “It doesn’t really bother me much, Bdubs. I don’t want you to feel bad.”

“It’s fine if it bothers you! It bothers me! And you’re right, he’s not here, so I think a little friendly fire is well deserved,” Bdubs paused, eying one of the few bottles that were left, “May I?”

“Be my guest.”

Bdubs snatched at a bottle, flipping it in his hand, nearly dropping it trying to look cool, then whipping it at the target across the room, the entire thing smashing right on the bullseye.

“Oh, score!” Scar smiled, and Bdubs pumped his fist.

“Yes! You know, I already feel better. This is great, Cleo, have I told you this is great?”

Cleo looked pleased, exactly the cat who got the cream, “You have. And I know. So how about you boys throw back a couple beers to replace these bottles, and we do a little axe throwing.”

“Are you paying?” Scar asked, hopeful, innocent, but Cleo snorted, shaking her head.

“Uh, no. Don’t let that hold you back, though.”

“Oh, come on,” Bdubs whined, but not without his signature grin, “What’s the point of free rage room therapy hour if it’s not all free?”

“I’m not going to make you pay for the axe throwing either, and that is not included in our little deal, so the least you can do is drink.”

“You can’t make us pay to axe throw with you because we all know you’re going to whoop our asses,” Scar shot back in fake accusation, but Cleo shrugged, a crooked smile across her lips.

“You have fun.”

“I do,” Bdubs assented, earning a sharp jab from Scar’s elbow.

“We don’t! Unless you buy us each a beer, then we do.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Okay fine,” Scar sighed, fully intending on a large tip regardless, since despite her sharp tongue, Cleo would still refuse any sort of compensation for an outing like this, “But you also have to drink.”

Cleo scoffed, the smile never leaving their face. “Who do you think I am?”

***

It was fun. Of course it was fun. Scar lost pretty miserably in nearly every round, though that could be accurately attributed to the fact he was more than a little tipsy, and Bdubs, always spying an opportunity to get an edge, took full advantage. Though, to his credit, Bdubs was having a great day in general, overtaking Cleo in score multiple times, and even winning one or two games. A feat, even against an inebriated Cleo, which, in all honesty, was pretty much the only way Scar or Bdubs could ever surpass her. Etho.. It was safe to say Etho had little talent for the sport. Didn’t matter how much instruction he got, he was nothing short of miserable every time all four of them got together to play. Actually, out of the four of them, Etho was probably the only person who improved when he was drunk, which was always hilarious to see. You’ve never seen a fire lit under someone’s ass like you did when Etho managed to squeak ahead of Bdubs or Scar, the cackling of Cleo only furthering their panic.

Scar did wish Etho was here. He wished he wasn’t so flakey sometimes.

Regardless, when they were done, Bdubs was only two steps away from sober and plenty able to drive. Scar was relieved to have to ride, and even more so that he hadn’t brought his own car in the first place. It was a nice drive home, anything but quiet, and really, just what Scar needed. The less time he spent alone with his own thoughts, the better. Though, after such a nice evening, tonight was going to be a little easier.

Thanking Bdubs for the ride, Scar stepped out onto the cobblestones once they reached his apartment, taking a deep breath before going inside. It was okay. He was going to be okay.

But there was one little habit he had developed, a little something he couldn’t quite shake despite knowing it wasn’t doing him many favors. It had only been a week since Mumbo had disappeared, but Scar refused to miss it if the mermaid ever did return- he couldn’t, even if Grian wouldn’t be in the picture anymore. This still meant something. Scar wasn’t about to give it up so easily.

The trail cams were still open on his monitors when he sat at his desk. Of course they were. Scar never closed them.

So there he sat, chin in his hands, eyes glazed as he watched every angle of that little cove. The trees, waving gently in the breeze. The sand, shifting ever so slightly in the presence of bugs and crabs. But mostly he watched the water. Scar never stopped watching the water.

[idontknowreallywhy]

Resurface 10 - Recall

Maybe could be the next instalment of Resurface (a.k.a. the psychotic Virgil fic) or maybe could be a standalone - any thoughts? Inspired by a song which, it turns out, fits the situation rather well. Some sad Earth&Sky… given I’d managed zero words for days and have found that very irritating I’m gonna run with whatever! Edit to add: Yeah I’m calling it. So what if the fic has a random songfic chapter… it’s Virg…

💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚

He floated in the darkness, weightless yet weighed down. There was nothing to see, nothing to feel. Nothing to smell. Yet he could SEE the dark in an overwhelming level of detail and his nerves rejected the empty tactile nothingness and told him cold instead.

There was sound in the void, but it was intermittent and muffled, as if he was underwater. Voices… familiar but unhappy bubbled past him. If only they’d speak more clearly perhaps he could fix whatever the problem was… but he found he couldn’t move his arms or… his head or… anything so fixing was probably out of the question. He wondered if there anything of him left to move?

He wondered if he was… gone… and found he couldn’t feel too strongly about the idea. Hello darkness, Virgil was ready to succumb.

Oh… Virgil. He had a name. Well there it is.

He knew he was supposed to fight the dark but he was so tired. He was also aware the reason he kept fighting was no more. Although he wasn’t entirely sure what that had been… it nagged at him. It had been important. He was pretty sure it had been everything - there was just a hollow space where he imagined his chest would be. Was odd he couldn’t remember. If he could move his face he’d frown at that.

Maybe it was just that Afterwards you didn’t remember Before?

He only hoped this nothing wouldn’t be everything - the lack of comprehensible sensory input was maddening. Not to mention he had an irritating earworm that was disproving his theory about not remembering. And that would be really annoying to think about for eternity. What even was it? Some kids’ film…

Can there be a day beyond this night? I don’t know anymore what is true.

Huh. Pretty dark for something aimed at children.

Mind you, children felt things pretty strongly. He’d always done so, as far as he could tell. It’s why art and music worked for him. He remembered that too. Alright, memory was a thing then. Given the lack of anything else to do he cast his mind back, trying to recall something, anything… about who he was.

Trees. He could picture trees and feel the drop in the wind as he stepped amongst them. One in particular which was taller than the rest… a pecan. The scaly bark scratched at his fingertips as he peered up into the rustling branches overhead. Wait! He tried to shout but no sound came out! Wait! He wasn’t tall enough! He couldn’t follow! He stood on his tiptoes and stretched towards the hand that reached down out of the leaves but his fingers only brushed the air. He gasped, a bigger hand landed on his shoulder and it all went black again.

He was on his knees on the dusty tarmac and his knees were stinging but not as much as his eyes. The back of the big yellow bus blurred as he cursed his little legs for not being able to catch up with it. He squeaked in horror as a truck thundered past, horn blaring and then large hands were pulling his shoulders, dragging him to the grass. Sharp words, scared words. They told him he couldn’t follow. He wasn’t big enough for big school yet. He couldn’t always follow. He lifted his hands from his knees and stared at the redness that highlighted the wrinkles in his palms. A sob choked him and the red spread out and covered everything.

That large hand was tugging at his elbow, but Virgil wasn’t easy to move against his will. He relented and took one pace backwards, moving his right foot down one of the stone steps leading away from the ornate doorway with a lone figure standing in it. The others had gone back inside to continue the celebration. But one remained, watching them leave, smiling. The stupidly massive doors made him look small and he’d never looked small before. The left foot wouldn’t move. The arm tugged at him but he couldn’t. He couldn’t not follow. The figure waved again, straightened the smart blue coat with the silver buttons and gave a cheeky salute before turning and walking away. Virgil had no breath to cry out to him to stop, he could only reach out silently towards the retreating blue.

I follow you around, I always have, but you’ve gone to a place I cannot find.

No. The song was wrong. NO! He thrashed against the nothing and gagged on the bile that rose up in a throat that could suddenly feel, could suddenly burn, could agonisingly scream out loud:

“SCOTT!”

💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙

Whole story in order

[skeefee-sky]

'Sentience ain't all fun and games...'

@thunder-tober Day prompt: 10 - Speed Characters: Alan Tracy, Thunderbird Three Word count: 570

Hhhhhhhhh, I hate how much I struggled to write this one >w< but! Of course, not all stories are going to be easy to write – such is the life of a creative writer <w< I’ve also based this like, early season 1 so, Alan’s a lil bit inexperienced and brash; don’t mind him >w> Alan persuades his brothers to use Thunderbird Three for a ground-mission… which doesn’t go exactly as planned.

💙❤️ TB ~~~ TB ~~~ TB ~~~ TB ~~~ TB ~~~ TB ~~~ TB ~~~ TB ❤️💙

“I can’t believe you thought that was a good idea… How did they even let you think it was a good idea?!”

Alan opened his mouth to reply, but his words were lost on his tongue. He’d come back down to the hangar to check in with his ship, half expecting a few words of discouragement from him, but Thunderbird Three sounded genuinely upset with him. He did have a sprained wrist to answer for it…

The Thunderbird let out a quiet huff through his vents. “I know I haven’t been sentient very long, and yes, it’s cool and all but... Trying to get to the danger zone before Thunderbird One is, not an excuse to test out what I can do.”

“I just wanted to help…” the astronaut murmured, finally finding a chance to say something. He felt so small tucked against his Thunderbird’s thruster, but it was the only way they could hear each other, without the youngest Tracy having to climb back into the cockpit. The upside was, it was still warm from them being out on a rescue… A sigh drawled from the Thunderbird’s systems.

“I know… Sorry… I’ll admit, I want to test my new limits now too but, we can’t do that at every opportunity,” he explained, rocking the slightest on his refuelling pad to make sure the locks clicked into place. Their little test drive had used up half of his fuel reserves, and he didn’t want to risk being half-empty if they were called out again. “If a rescue calls for speed, or heavy lifting, we already have two Thunderbirds perfectly capable of that. I was built for space missions...”

Alan knew that. Scott had reminded him of it too. He’d just thought, now with his Thunderbird’s sentience, they could be a little bit more useful on missions… Of course, yes, there was the fact his craft was a spacecraft… He tilted his head back, blue eyes trailing up the side of his Thunderbird as he nursed his wrist to his middle.

“… Wasn’t it just a little bit cool to tow that cargo ship though?”

“No.” Thunderbird Three had been rather abrupt with his answer, and there was no way he was admitting out loud that actually, yes, it was a bit cool. The nosedive he’d taken into the water hadn’t been… “We were going too fast for it to be considered safe anyway.”

“Since when have you ever worried about that?” Alan snorted; the craft not being able to tell if he was humoured or annoyed. “You’re always breaking your own rules, Three!”

“When we’re in space…” the rocket grumbled. It wasn’t just their speed he’d been concerned about… His manoeuvrability had been rather shoddy too, and while yes he was fast, he was a lot bigger than Thunderbird One… His pilot could have come away with a lot worse than a sprained wrist had his nosedive not been as controlled as he’d made it… “You know, you worry me sometimes, captain…”

“Makes sense. I’m still ‘just a kid’ after all…”

“That’s not what I-…”

Thunderbird Three quietened when he no longer felt the small of his pilot against his frame, settling a little straighter on his refuelling pad. Had he been too harsh…? He was still trying to figure out everything that came with being sentient… Maybe he should ask for pointers from his pilot’s older brothers at some point…

[leeknot]

Chapter 11: A Safe Place

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The days had been moving more fluidly now, each one a little brighter, a little more comfortable than the last. You had begun to find your place within the pack, little by little, as they continued to show you what it meant to be part of something bigger than yourself. There were still moments of doubt, moments when the fear crept back into your heart, but they were becoming fewer and farther between.

Today, though, was different.

You found yourself sitting in the garden, the sunlight warming your face as you sat on the grass, watching the breeze rustle through the trees. It was peaceful here, and for once, your mind wasn’t racing with what-ifs and worries. You were learning how to just be, how to enjoy the present moment.

You hadn’t seen much of Changbin lately. He was often busy with his workout routine or spending time with the others, but today, as you sat lost in thought, you heard footsteps approaching. Looking up, you saw him walking toward you, a slight smile on his face as he adjusted the weights in his hands.

“Hey, [Y/N],” he greeted, his voice deep and steady. “Mind if I join you?”

You smiled up at him, gesturing to the empty space beside you. “Not at all.”

Changbin lowered himself to the grass beside you, settling down with a comfortable sigh. He placed the weights on the ground beside him, stretching out his legs as he leaned back on his hands, looking up at the sky. There was something calming about his presence—steady, grounded. It was like he carried an unspoken reassurance with him, an energy that made you feel safe.

“You’ve been doing well lately,” Changbin said after a moment, his eyes still on the sky. “You’re more relaxed than when you first got here.”

You nodded slowly, grateful for the acknowledgment. “I think I’m starting to feel like I can breathe again,” you said quietly, your voice soft but sincere. “It’s not easy, but... it’s getting better.”

Changbin turned his head slightly to look at you, his expression thoughtful. “You don’t have to rush it, you know. You’ve been through a lot. We’re not expecting you to be perfect or to be someone you’re not. Just take it one step at a time.”

The weight of his words settled over you. They were simple, but they meant more than you expected. He was right. You didn’t have to do everything at once, didn’t have to force yourself to change. The pack was here, ready to support you, no matter how long it took.

You smiled, feeling a warmth in your chest. “Thanks, Changbin. I’m still getting used to being around so many people. It’s a lot to take in.”

“It’s okay,” he said, his smile gentle. “We’ve all been there at some point. It’s not easy to open up, especially when you’ve been alone for so long. But you don’t have to be alone anymore.”

You met his gaze, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you believed him. There was something in his eyes—a quiet understanding, a silent promise—that made you feel like you didn’t have to hide anymore.

“I appreciate it,” you whispered. “I really do.”

Changbin nodded, his smile widening. “You don’t need to thank me. We’re a pack. We look out for each other.”

For the next few hours, you and Changbin sat together in comfortable silence, watching the world around you. It was one of those rare moments where everything felt right, where the noise in your head quieted enough to let you simply exist.

And then, when the sun began to dip below the horizon, painting the sky with shades of orange and pink, Changbin stood up and stretched. “I’ve got to finish my workout, but I’m glad we could hang out for a bit.”

You stood too, brushing the grass off your clothes. “Yeah, me too. Thanks for sitting with me. It helps more than you know.”

Changbin grinned, clapping you lightly on the back. “Anytime. Just remember, we’re here for you, [Y/N]. Don’t hesitate to ask for anything.”

You nodded, feeling a sense of comfort wash over you. For the first time since you’d arrived at the pack house, you felt like you were part of something real. Something that wasn’t fleeting or fragile, but solid and enduring.

As Changbin walked away to finish his workout, you stayed there for a few moments longer, letting the tranquility of the evening settle in your chest. You were still working through the doubts and fears that clung to you, but you could feel the pack’s presence wrapping around you like a safety net, catching you when you stumbled.

And for once, you didn’t feel so alone.

---

Later that evening, after dinner, the pack gathered around the living room. As usual, there was chatter and laughter, everyone slipping easily into their roles within the group. You joined them, a little hesitant at first but slowly growing more comfortable as the night wore on.

At one point, Changbin and Hyunjin started teasing each other over something silly, their laughter filling the room, and you found yourself smiling without even realizing it. Even if you weren’t always the loudest or most outgoing in the group, being here, in this moment, felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.

For once, you allowed yourself to enjoy the warmth of the pack around you, to let the laughter and lightheartedness seep into your soul. Maybe it wasn’t perfect, and maybe there were still things you needed to work through, but with them by your side, you were slowly starting to believe that everything would be okay.

And that was enough.

To be continued...

taglist: @thatgirlangelb @eastjonowhere @babygirlskz98 @realrintaro @piscesrising01 @astro-des @justiceforvillains

[animeyanderelover]

Tags: @flaming-vulpix

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, obsession, clinginess, manipulation, abduction, death, corruption, pregnancy

The Little Merman: Pt. 4

Pt.3

He hadn’t left his cave ever since he’d returned. Time had become one big blur for Ikuya, everyday was the same as the one before. Sceneries of fish in all colors swimming around the coral riff, warm sun rays breaking through the surface of the ocean and dancing across the waves went unappreciated by him. Pain and heartbreak had dulled his joy and the love for his home. Loneliness was felt in everything he saw and witnessed as you weren’t with him. He’d longed to show you his gorgeous home at one point, even if you were technically only human. Yet without your presence, all had lost meaning. Ikuya didn’t know what to do with himself anymore so he just didn’t do anything anymore, slowly withering away in his cave. Honestly, he didn’t even know how long he just hid away in his cave, losing himself in his own misery.

He didn’t know when exactly he snapped and his heart finally bursted, breaking into tiny pieces much like his mind. Everything was about you, every thought and feeling could be traced back to you. Only then did he finally leave his cave. Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool he rushed to the only place he knew that could help him somehow. All fear, all hesitation was thrown out as his rationality completely abandoned him and only the image of you reminded in his thoughts and his soul. Only you.

~~~

“Please…please…please…”

His desperate sobs filled the cave of the sea wizard as he swam through the narrow path of the cave. His heart was hurting. It was killing him slowly from the inside and he thought that tearing it out would have been a lesser punishment than what he was currently experiencing. What was this feeling? He was in love and love was supposed to be a wonderful feeling… So why did it hurt so much to love you?

He eventually reached the bigger part of the cave, the stony walls littered with algae and corals stretching far away from him and leaving him alone in the empty space. His amber-coloured eyes were darting across all the multiple smaller ways leading him further down the cave. He didn’t know which way he could find the sea wizard though. His heart clenched in panic, every second without you torture.

“Please! Come out! I need you! Please!”

He was begging. Begging the villain of his little world to help him. However, Ikuya was too desperate, too infatuated with you to care anymore. You were the first person he had ever loved and he couldn’t just live without you anymore. You’d given him joy and meaning and had taken it all with you on that night you had rejected him. He couldn’t accept this. You had been lying! You were the one who had thanked him after he had saved you, you were the one who had given him this gift, you were the one who had admitted to him that you wanted to see him. Yet you had been unaware that the person you had been praying to see again had been with you the entire time. If only he could have been able to tell you who he had been!

He couldn’t hear, see or sense anything. Where was the sea wizard? Why wasn’t he here? He needed to help Ikuya! It was because of him that you hadn’t been able to properly realize your feelings for him. It was because of is condition that Ikuya had never been able to tell you the truth!

“Come out! I need your help! Please… I beg of you…”

His voice grew very weak and shaky at his last sentence as despair came crawling over him, his fin flapping around in agitation and sorrow. Sobs started to echoe through the cave and its many paths as Ikuya swam around aimlessly. Eventually his ears picked up a sound though, a sound he instantly recognized. He couldn’t hold himself back, not thinking about the consequences his careless action might bring him as he quickly swam into the little cave where he could hear the sounds coming from. Relief filled him when he swam further down the path and saw the figure of the sea wizard and his many tentacles which were twitching around. He could see purple eyes glimmering in the darkness. He didn’t recognize the dangerous gleam in them when the much older man saw the younger merman swimming towards him, swimming closer to his most beloved treasure. His pupils, already small slits, narrowed even more and a snarl escaped his lips.

Ikuya couldn’t react in time, too blinded by his own desperate wish to be fulfilled. So he couldn’t dodge in time when a few of the sea wizard’s tentacles suddenly whipped forward, grabbing his fin and squeezing it tightly before throwing him away with such force that even the water couldn’t slow Ikuya down. He flew all the way back into the big room, his back hitting the wall. The damage wasn’t too big, only a few scratches and a dull ache in his back but it had brought Ikuya back to his senses anyways. He suddenly noticed the dangerous aura that almost made the water surrounding him feel heavier. Fear creeped up on him as the sea wizard emerged from one of the tunnels, purple eyes fixated on Ikuya with an almost animalistic aggression.

“How dare you enter this tunnel without my permission? No one is allowed to sneak in there!”

He growled, his voice dripping with malice and poison. He looked like he could rip Ikuya apart for entering the deeper parts of his home. Was he keeping something precious down there? Whatever the reason was, Ikuya had come for different reasons.

“I’m sorry for trespassing… But I need your help. You’re the only one who can help me now.”

His voice was quieter than expected, the agitated and frightening look in the sea wizard’s eyes almost paralyzing him. His anger felt almost oppressing and under normal circumstances Ikuya wouldn’t have been able to speak or move at all. His desperation however drove him past what he would be normally able to achieve, numbed him to all other signs of his body screaming at him to flee.

“You have one minute to give me a good reason why you’re here again before I get really angry. If you beg me to help you to see them again and live with them, I might just tear you slowly apart and feed you to my moral eels. You already had your chance.”

His voice had gotten calmer and lower but the wrath was still palpable and Ikuya knew that the sea wizard was dead serious. If he wouldn’t be convinced, Ikuya wouldn’t leave this cave alive.

“I-I…”

Words still failed him, all his feelings swirling around inside of him and making it hard to think clearly. Now that he was here, he realized that he hadn’t really thought much about what he’d want. His loneliness, his despair and his broken heart had ushered him to seek the sea wizard out again without ever considering how the creature was supposed to help him. Ikuya only knew that he could help him but didn’t know how that help would look like. The sea wizard on the other hand, noticing the silence from the merman’s side, felt his eyes twitching. He was baring his sharp teeth ever so slightly as he pulled his lips up in a slight sneer, irritated with the young boy who had returned to his cave without even a plan. Pathetic.

“One minute is over.”

Tentacles shot forward to squeeze and strangle Ikuya, sharp claws emerging out of the suction cups to prevent anything that they grabbed to escape.

“I don’t know! I don’t care either! I-I just… I want them back! I can’t live without them! It hurts! I’d do anything to be with them!”

Panic sept out of him when he saw the clawed limbs coming for him, pushing him to just yell out what he was feeling right now. He didn’t know what else to do anymore. Amber eyes closed themselves as the tentacles came for him yet Ikuya found his heart not even fearing death the most. He feared the helplessness of never being able to see you again even more as his last chance was gone with the sea wizard rejecting him.

There was no pain though and it never came. Instead Ikuya opened his eyes to see the tentacles pulling back. Purple eyes were scrutinizing him much more carefully now as the sea wizard had a furrowed expression on his face. “You’d do anything to be with them? You can’t live without them?” He asked the younger creature in front of him slowly as if wanting to make sure that he’d understood Ikuya correctly. Ikuya nodded hesitantly, not yet sure that this sudden development would mean that the sea wizard would still help him.

“Well, that sounds rather intriguing. Why don’t you tell me a bit more? Maybe I’ll have a chance of heart?”

The sea wizard tilted his head to the side, an unsettling grin crossing his face as his glowing eyes pierced through Ikuya. Under those eyes, Ikuya slowly revealed everything to the sea wizard, vocalizing feelings he’d never been able to tell to the person they were meant for. With each and every line, the sea wizard seemed to be more invested and unknown to Ikuya, his lovesick story brought delight and memories to the wizard’s mind and heart as he recalled a time many years ago that had changed his life too.

~~~

“Ah, I see~”

He chuckled darkly as he swam in circles around Ikuya, his purple eyes not once leaving Ikuya, observing his every gesture with heightened interest.

“The mere thought of your beloved human must drive you insane and the distance between you two must tear you apart from the inside. You’d do everything just to be able to have them forever to yourself. Your heart is probably beating faster in your chest whilst thinking about being the only reason for their bright smile and your body is craving to hold them close to you.”

The accuracy of his words made Ikuya’s skin crawl as he wondered how the sea wizard could analyze his feelings so well. His own eyes never left the moving form of the sea wizard as he felt like a little fish at the mercy of a shark. Still though, he couldn’t help but hope that he’d help him.

“What do I do with you now though?”

The sea wizard sighed as he stopped moving and crossed his arms in front of his chest, tilting his head as he closed his eyes. A few seconds passed by before he opened his eyes again, purple orbs gleaming with a sinister glow.

“Would you really do anything to be with them?”

“Yes. Anything.”

There was no hesitation in Ikuya’s voice, his eyes shimmering with that painfully naïve optimism, with eyes that dreamed of having you by his side. The boy had potential however…

“If you really mean those words, I’ll give you a chance. But only if you prove to me that you’d really go as far for your love as you claim.”

Bright eyes sparkled when the older men promised him his assistance, his excitement not even blemished when the sea wizard talked about a trial. The only thing that mattered to Ikuya was the chance to see you again and to be with you for the rest of his life.

“Tell me, do you know what our kind has to do in order to enable humans to survive in our world without drowning? Probably not, I think most sea inhabitants in your age have been left in the dark about it. Understandable, a love between their kind and our kind is considered taboo. Our two kinds have a bad history with each other. You probably grew up with horror stories of humans and have been warned to stay away from them, haven’t you?”

He was right. In his childhood, he’d never been allowed to swim close to the surface when boats or ships had been spotted on the surface of the water. His parents had always warned him about your kind, about how evil they were and how they’d kill him or catch him and take him away from the ocean if they’d ever spot him. A grin crawled upon the monster’s face when he was met with Ikuya’s silence.

“It’s always the same, isn’t it? Well, I don’t blame your parents. Our kind has been far too often captured or even killed by ships sailing across the ocean. In all honesty, I think of them as vile creatures who are paranoid and fear everything that they don’t know and that may hinder their illusion of reign over this earth and its ocean…”

The young merman bristled at those words. He wouldn’t defend all of humanity but the sea wizard was applying it to all humans. You weren’t one of them. You’d kept it a secret that you had even seen him in his true form, had cherished the memory of him saving you and had even gifted him a necklace. He didn’t even have this as his last reminder of you as he had traded it against a spell to walk on land.

“Don’t look so offended over there. Most of humanity, I would never respect. However, there are some exceptions under them. There are humans who are special and rare like natural pearls. Those have to be treasured and protected from their own kind. Because humans don’t even respect their own kind and instead tear themselves apart over fickle things such as money or gold. You have found such a pearl under them, haven’t you? I’d love to help you but I’m worried that you might be far too soft-hearted and weak to protect your human.”

His words were subtly laced with venomous spite when he talked about humans only for his tone to grow mellow when he mentioned that there were still some good-hearted under them that had to be protected. He almost looked like he was sympathizing with Ikuya about this topic. The younger man had no time to think deeply about it though when he was asked the last question.

“I…I’m too soft-hearted? What do you mean?”

The older man shook his head gently, a sad and almost disappointed sigh leaving his face.

“Oh, you are so young. So naïve. You have certainly good intentions to love your human. But you lack the determination to take more drastic measurements. You’re too gentle and I fear that isn’t enough to protect this… what is their name again? (y/n)! That’s what they’re called.”

“Just loving them isn’t enough? What more do I have to do?”

Ikuya was shocked, the words of the wizard confusing him as his mind was racing. What more did he have to do than love and adore you?

“You still don’t understand? Well, you did grow up in a very safe environment so you probably were never confronted with such a topic much before. What I want you to do is prove to me that you’re willing to kill for your (y/n).”

That one word that he uttered with such ease whilst maintaining the slight grin on his face as if it didn’t face him in the least bounced back and forth in Ikuya’s mind. It took him a couple of seconds to fully grasp the meaning, the implication of what the sea wizard meant. Coldness bloomed in his chest, the terror slowly pulsing through his body and freezing his blood.

“Y-you want me to kill somebody?”

His words were quiet and trembled softly as his eyes stared at him in disbelief and in a desperate hope that he had misunderstood something. The growing grin on the wizard’s face shattered his feeble hope as he felt a heavy knot forming somewhere in the pit of his stomach, twisting and turning his insides and filling him with growing unease.

"Yes, I do. But not just anyone. I want you to kill someone very specific. I think getting rid of this person would be in your own interest as well. Does the name (...) ring any bells up there?"

Suddenly he was way too close to Ikuya, so close that Ikuya could have counted the sharp teeth peaking out from his slightly opened lips as cruel eyes were scrutinizing him, reading him through every small movement of his body. Words were stuck in his throat as the name unfortunately didn't belong to anyone Ikuya knew. Sensing this, the sea wizard pulled back in surprise.

"You don't even know the name of your nemesis?"

"N-nemesis?"

A sigh escaped his lips as he looked at the young merman.

"The person who took your precious (y/n) away from you."

He knew that Ikuya had understood what he meant with the way his amber eyes widened. He took in the emotions that they were mirroring greedily in as Ikuya was forced to recall the memories of his last day with you. The echoing pain, the crushing sadness and behind that, grown and manifested throughout the last weeks of misery and loneliness, a bitter resentment. That was the right spirit. A little push in the right direction was all that he needed now to help this young man.

~~~

His bright eyes watched the small ship rocking gently on the waves, his gaze observing the small silhoutte inside the boat. He didn't know how the sea wizard had even been aware of what had happened during his time as a transformed human nor did he know how he had predicted that their ship would be on this day at this location. Asking hadn't done much either as the sea wizard had merely left him with the shallow remark that he 'had eyes and ears everywhere'. Ikuya knew what this meant though. That he was most likely being watched right now. This was his last chance. If he couldn't do this, he wouldn't get any help

"It isn't that hard, you know? Even you should be able to pull it off. You have the advantage since they're on the ocean. Just pull them into the water, let them drown and then bring their body to me. If you do that, I'll tell you a secret to how you can make your human breathe underwater and prolong their life."

Was that even possible? Probably, after all the very same creature had created something to be able to turn into a human. He surely had also something among his vast collection of spells that included allowing a human the ability to breathe even in water. All Ikuya had to do now was do his part of the deal.

His body slowly submerged back into the ocean as he slowly moved through the water, his eyes glued onto the body of the boat moving across the surface of his home. There was a permanent tightness in his chest, a fear that had wrapped itself around his chest like chains. A weight that almost threatened to pull him down. He had never killed someone before. He had grown up safe and sheltered, had only ever killed fish to eat them. Killing a human who would think and feel was something entirely different. What expressions would they make? He was afraid. Afraid of seeing their face twist into a mask of desperation and fear as he would drag them down into the abyss of the sea until they would lose consciousness and eventually drown.

"You still look quite frightened. What are you so afraid of? Do you fear that it might be difficult to end someone's life? Believe me, ending a life is almost too easy."

Perhaps the sea wizard was right, Ikuya was quite weak-minded and soft. He had avoided conflicts for his entire life. His bigger brother, his mother and his father had always saved him when a shark had tried to attack him or when he had gotten himself into other troubles. Now he was all alone though and if he would have continued being all by himself, he wouldn't have had as big of a problem remaining as meek and soft as he was right now. But he didn't want to be alone anymore. He wanted you by his side and the thought of a future with you shackled him down with a new weight he hadn't experienced before. Responsibility for another life. Because you wouldn't be able to defend yourself against sharks, dolphins or other sea inhabitants as good as he could. He would have to do it. He would have to be the one to protect you down here just like you had protected him whilst he had spent his time with you on land.

"Try to think about what would happen if they would continue staying alive. Your beloved (y/n) would probably marry them at one point and they would start a family of their own. (y/n) would live their life, would grow old and gradually think less and less about you as the years pass by. That's the tragedy of our kind. We live for centuries, our hearts stay the same. A human on the other hand lives only a couple of decades. Their hearts waver and change. (y/n)'s heart will change too until you'll only remain as a faint memory. Do you wish to be forgotten?"

What a question was that even? Of course he didn't want to be forgotten by the person he loved. But were his words true? Would you forget all about him as time would pass on? Would your heart move on to (...) and would their presence completely erase him from your heart? Could you be that heartless? He didn't want to know... He didn't want to find out.

"Do it!"

They had barely any time as Ikuya suddenly flipped their tiny ship over with a surprising amount of strength from underneath the surface, the water parting shortly as their body was thrown into the ocean. He saw them struggling, their limbs frantically moving as they were trying to reach the surface. Images flashed before his eyes as he recalled his first encounter with you. Struggling, floundering around helplessly in the water, terrified to drown and never see the next sunrise again. You had been lucky though. Because he had been there to save you. However, they were unlucky. They wouldn't get saved by him. They would die. By his own hands.

Just as their head burst through the surface, Ikuya grabbed their legs and pulled them back down again. Their fight-ot-flight-mode kicked in instantly as they kicked their legs around, trying to free themselves from his grip. Their eyes were wide and they stared at him in horror, their lips tightly sealed to not swallow any water yet he could almost feel their instinct to scream. The sight...broke something inside of him. The unaltered and pure look of fear, of a silent plead for him to spare their life that cut through his very being. His hands tightened their hold as his body started trembling lightly. He didn't want to do this. However, he had no choice. He... He didn't want you to spend the rest of your life with someone else besides him.

"They owe you their life after all. You saved them. It's only fair for you to get nothing less than their own life in return."

What had this person ever done for you? What had they done to deserve your love and affection? Nothing. Nothing that could ever compare to what Ikuya had done for you. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair for him to be left with nothing whilst having done everything for you whilst they had done nothing only to get everything in return.

"It isn't wrong to do something for your own joy at times, that's at least how I'd do it."

Your own words for some reason echoed in his head as he pulled them slowly down, he didn't know why he recalled those words all of a sudden. But you yourself had said it, hadn't you? He was doing all of this for his own happiness, wasn't he? He was in the right.

Minutes passed by where he slowly dragged the human deeper down. Amber eyes flicking back and forth as he couldn't fully bear looking how their movement slowly grew weaker and weaker until it fully stopped. When Ikuya realized that they were dead, something came over him for a moment. He let them go and flinched back, eyes quivering as he watched their corpse slowly floating further down into the abyss of the ocean. Their eyes still wide open but all emotions had left their face. Their gaze unfocused and empty, their body devoid from all warmth. He felt his breath hitching in his throat, his chest heaving as the pressure he had felt this entire time tightened. He wanted to scream, wanted to cry, wanted to sob about what he had just done but nothing came out of his lips.

It was too late to regret anything anymore.

Shaky hands grabbed their shoulders and pushed them down, his tail propelling him through the water as fast as he could. Empty eyes stared back at him as he did so, almost as if even asking in death why he had done it. Their gaze wormed its way deep into his brain and heart, shattering a soul that should have never committed such a crime anyways. Love however could truly corrupt even the most gentle of soul.

~~~

Blood was staining the water, swirling ominously around the corpse as a handful of moral eels were tearing into the flesh, tearing the body to tatters. Shreds of their clothes were floating around, lumps of skin and flesh bitten out of them as the animals fed hungrily from the treat they had been given. Dull amber eyes watched the scene unfold from above the entrance to their little and narrow cave in which his pets were living. Next to him, purple eyes on the other hand were gleaming happily as the sea wizard saw how much his eerie helpers enjoyed their treat. Tentacles snaked their way down to pet their long bodies and for a short moment they looked up, locating their master through their sense of smell and curling their bodies as if showing that they appreciated the treat before going back to their meal.

"I'm impressed. I honestly didn't know if you'd be able to pull it off."

He said with an acknowledging voice that made Ikuya's skin crawl. Being praised for murdering someone felt like cracking his very essence. He numbly followed the older man as he made his way back to his own cave, eyes staring thoughtlessly at his huge form and his lower body consisting of tentacles. He tried to empty his mind of all thoughts as otherwise everything would only become an endless cycle of how he had just killed a human until his mind would shut down and he'd completely break. He zoned out to a place of no thoughts and no feelings, the numbing sensation of disbelief and shock welcoming as it spared him from an outburst of emotions.

When he felt something being pressed into his palm, he slowly left his white place of nothingness, his eyes slowly connecting with what the sea wizard had given him. A bit of life returned into his defeated eyes as he recognized the necklace with the wooden dolphin again. With everything that had happened, he had almost forgotten about it. But...

"Why are you giving me this back? I thought that it was payment for your spell to turn me into a human?"

A part of him coiled back in terror when he heard his own voice which sounded so unlike him. It sounded slow as if every word was heavy and monotone and tired as if someone had sucked all life out of him. However, he couldn't deny that this was exactly how he felt like right now. Empty and different as if he had been forced to give a part of himself up when drowning (...) earlier. His sense of his inner pain slowly returned the more he paid attention to it and instinctively he clutched the necklace close to his chest as if filling the hole inside of him with anything that reminded him of you.

"See it as a small present from my side. I must say, you exceeded my expectations. I never expected to see such a forbidden romance in my lifetime again."

He had no energy anymore to question what the sea wizard meant by his words. Instead he nodded thoughtlessly along.

"Now it's time to fulfill my part of the deal though."

A spark of something returned in those amber eyes of his again and he felt his heart aching intensely, throbbing with a gaping hollowness that only you would be able to fill and soothe by now.

"I'm surprised that you don't know about this because it is so simple. However, perhaps it's this simplicity that makes it so hard to figure out."

Simplicity? No complicated spell was required for this? Then why... Why had he just been forced to kill someone for this? The ice-cold terror took hold of him again as for a short moment, his mind was jumbling with so many thoughts and feelings that he couldn't process even a single one of them. However, his inner storm only lasted a few seconds before all mental strength left him and everything collapsed as defeat seized control of him. It didn't matter anymore. They were dead. Now that he had gone that far anyways, the only thing left to do was take you with him. Take you for himself. Otherwise this would have been an unnecessary death and he would be nothing more than a crude killer.

Unbeknownst to him, the sea wizard noticed with hidden delight the darker gleam that shortly flashed across his once bright and innocent eyes. Only someone who had given up any noble rules and principles, had laid himself down and sacrificed something that could never be repaired would be able to truly understand what it meant doing anything to protect his human after all. Ikuya had finally reached this point. The point of no return.

~~~

Your teary eyes gazed upon the ocean and its rippling surface. The sunset ignited the water in warm colors and a gentle breeze caressed your face and body gently as you just sat in your boat, your face void of all emotions. (...) hadn't returned. It had been three days since they had sailed out to fish only to never return again. A search party had found their boat upside down in the water but hadn't caught any sight of them. No one knew what exactly could have turned their boat over in such a violent way as the sea had been perfectly calm that day. Only speculations that sharks might have attacked them when they had been thrown into the water were rumors everyone seemed to accept. Most people had given up searching for them, assumed that they had been dragged depper into the sea by some shark. Drowned and never to be found again. At least not in one piece.

You had escaped the restricting and haunting walls of your own home after having locked yourself away from the world for nealy over 2 months now, only leaving it if you had to buy new ingredients. You had rejected all visitors, the old doctor who had wanted to apologize, blaming himself for the incident back then and (...) themselves, worried about you and offering their company. You hadn't allowed anyone inside your house though, locking them out of your home and your heart. And just as you had slowly started to feel a little bit less miserable and terrible, tragedy had struck your life again. Why were it always the people in your life that had to be swallowed forever by the unforgiving ocean?

So beautiful with all of its sparkles as the light bounced off of the waves yet also so deadly and cruel. You had fled from your home to escape somewhere else, somewhere where you weren't aware of the sudden emptiness in your home in which so many precious people had lived only to leave you. Somewhere where no one would knock on any doors and offer their condolences. Somewhere like here. Where it was only you, surrounded by the very thing that had taken everyone away from your life. You stared at the reflection of yourself in the curling waves, remembered the time when you had been nearly found your end in the ocean too.

"Do you just hate me?"

You asked in a soft voice, fully aware how silly you were being by talking to a massive body of salt water. You wouldn't get any answer to your question anyways. Perhaps that was the most tormenting part of it all. You'd never know why it had to be all the people you had cherished so much.

Your gaze never left your reflection as you didn't know what to do with yourself in this moment. Right now you just wanted to be alone with your own sluggish thoughts and numb feelings.

Movement underneath the surface slowly brought you back and pulled you out of the black hole of your own mind and you furrowed slightly. A flash of a tail caught your attention and briefly you wondered if this was the shark that was rumored to have killed (...). Was it here for its next victim? Would it ram your ship to make you its next prey? How would you react? Would you react at all?

It was no shark though. Instead something emerged from your own reflection, the waves parting its way as a head, shoulders and arms appeared. Hands grabbed the edge of your wodden boat, using it as physical support to pull the upper body up, leaving only the lower body submerged inside the water. Your own teary and sad eyes met broken and dull eyes as the hauntingly familiar face gave you a smile. A smile filled with suffering and pain yet also infatuation and joy. Joy to be finally reunited with you again. Everything came to a stop for a moment. Your thoughts, your tears, your breath, even your heartbeat. Your mind was rejecting what your eyes were perceiving right now, reminding you that this wasn't possible. He should have been dead. No one could have survived such a fall. Sure, you had never found his body but you had assumed that the current might have washed him away or that one of the notorious sharks had seen him as its next meal. So how...?

"I-Ikuya?"

You chocked out, your voice raw and shaky as your eyes took in his face. His eyes seemed to light up a bit when he heard you call his name with so much emotion and his smile brightened. His own eyes seemed to greedily take in everything he could about you as if wanting to memorize and never forget it.

"I... I don't understand. Why... How are you still alive? I thought you were dead."

Your mind was buzzing as it tried to come up with an explanation to all of this. You didn't understand anything anymore. Until your eyes landed on the necklace he was wearing and your eyes widened when you recognized the little carved dolphin. Slowly but surely your mind came up with an explanation that sounded initially too stupid to believe.

"I-Ikuya. Are you...?"

You couldn't voice your idea out but he knew what you meant to ask him anyways. You saw something emerge from behind him and when you took a look, your breath stopped for the second time. A teal-coloured tail was peeking out through the surface, bending itself so that you could see it clearly. Now you could also clearly see how his human body melted together in the middle with the tail he was showing to you right now. You couldn't speak and even if you could have, you wouldn't have known what to say anyways so it would have ended in the same way anyways.

"You still remember. I'm the one who saved you on that day."

He said breathlessly and softly, as if being in your mere presence was enough to fill him with admiration and adoration for you to the brim.

Your head was spinning and your emotions were one big mess as everything became just too much. Too many questions you couldn’t properly voice out.

“I-I couldn’t tell you back then. I wasn’t allowed to do so. B-But now things are different. Now I don’t have to keep it a secret from you anymore."

He spoke, his words fast as a tinge of excitement got the better as life seemed to return into his amber-colored eyes. Your mouth opened as you tried to say anything but nothing worked. Your brain came up with loose words that you couldn't string together into a coherent sentence and your tongue felt heavy as if it had turned into stone.

'Why are you here? Why now?'

You wanted to desperately ask him this yet you seemed to have forgotten the words to use, merely your eyes shimmering with tears could express everything that words couldn't do at the moment. Luckily for you, he understood. He understood the plaintive look in your eyes.

"I'm here for you."

You felt his hands reaching for your face, the pads of his fingers gently caressing your face. His fingers left wet traces all over your cheeks as your eyes were glued to Ikuya. Your brain had seemingly shut down as everything was processed awfully slowly, every sensation and feeling only recognized as such a few seconds later. That's why you didn't instantly recognized how one of his hands snaked itself around the nape of your neck and pushed your head down.

You blinked when you finally noticed the gentle pressure his hands applied onto your neck to push you closer to him, tried to speak up to say anything. You couldn't do when you felt warm lips meeting your own, the taste of salt water prickling your tongue. It was a sensation you had experienced before on that rainy night. That kiss had been desperate and inexperienced though, a clash of his lips against yours in an attempt to make you understand everything he had felt in that moment. This time it was different. He was slower and more gentle, basking in the feeling of your lips against his own. When he pulled away, his cheeks had a pink blush on them as he looked at you with batting eyelashes. Your inner turmoil temporarely calmed down before coming back into full gear as soon as you had understood what had just happened, your heart wavering with so many different emotions and thoughts until it became one big blob of confusion and helplessness.

"I love you."

A shudder went through your body when those damn words reached your ears and made your heart bleed as the sincerity and fragility of his voice cut right through your crumbling walls. Your breath hitched and you felt more tears dropping down your face as his second confession left you vulnerable and helpless, unable to tell him your true thoughts and feelings. Would he leave you again if you'd do so? No... You didn't want that. You didn't want to be left alone again.

"It's okay. It'll be fine. We-we will be happy."

You thought that his voice seemed to crack for a moment, a look of anguish and guilt flodding his face as he looked at you. What was it that had elicited such a look to appear on his face? You could only silently wonder without ever voicing your thoughts before you felt his other hand placing itself on your back. Both of you exchanged a long look with each other, silent words and questions going back and forth between the two of you until your head started spinning with the way his eyes looked at you.

Your body sagged forward with little to no resistence as he pushed you off the boat, your water splashing through the surface of the water. Your chest heaved as your lungs filled with oxygen and you took even deeper breaths when you realized this. His eyes seemed to sparkle as he also realized your ability to breathe underwater. He let out chirping sounds in a way of communication you couldn't understand before he wrapped his arms around you, his tail flipping through the water ashe brought you further and further away from the surface. Your eyes watched the dim light from the sunset slowly fade away into the distance, wondering why you weren't more emotional, distressed anxious to be taken away from everything that was familiar to you. Was it because Ikuya was the only familiar person you had left at this point? Or because you had accepted quite a while ago that you'd always find your demise in the ocean one way or another?

~~~

His head turned slightly up, light blond hair swaying gently through the water as purple eyes seemed to focus on something they couldn't sense. They wondered what he was noticing as he seemed to be quite fixated on it for a while, the corner of his mouth tugging themselves up, revealing a few of his sharp teeth.

"...Is something wrong?"

They asked slowly and cautiously. The sea wizard turned his attention instantly back to the little human, eyes softening a bit as his tentacles were wrapped around their fragile body, now more delicate and vulnerable than ever. He shook his head.

"It's nothing."

Asking him to elaborate on whatever had just caught his attention would be useless. The only thing they could figure out from his words and the look on his face was that by labeling something as 'nothing', he meant that it wasn't anything he deemed as a threat. They nodded slowly, relaxing in his hold as good as they could despite the heavy changes their body had undergone the last few months. His behavior had transformed together with their body, becoming more volatile and hostile against everything that got too close to his dwelling.

Their eyes focused on the glowing corals that he had grown along the stony walls so that they could see their surroundings since little to no light was able to reach this far into the abyssal channel. Although this wasn't even the deepest layer yet. They didn't even know how many years had passed since he had offered them this deal. Their life in exchange for the lives of everyone else on the island, including their own father and friends. If they had to take a guess though, it must have been over a decade. Not that time mattered anymore to them, their life essentially tied to his which meant that their life span was as long as his.

"You're worried, aren't you?"

They were thrown out of whatever place their thoughts had just drifted to when hearing his softer tone and the way the suction cups of his tentacles carefully attached themselves to the stretched skin of their stomach, sensing the little heartbeat and the precious life that had started growing underneath his little human's skin for so many months now.

"I understand why it's scary. There has never been any records of both of our species being able to reproduce. Not to mention that your body...hasn't taken quite well to previous mating sessions."

His words were hushed and carefully chosen as if trying to avoid mentioning that he had mounted them forcefully, his body reacting to the closeness of a mate which had triggered multiple times over the course of years of captivity his primal desire to produce offspring with his chosen mate. After his sexual drive had been satiated, they had always fallen ill, their body violently rejecting what his weird body had pumped into them as a little human body wasn't made to carry his offspring.

Yet this time was different. Not only had it taken but it had managed to grow inside his lover's body to the point where they were heavy and swollen and his enhanced senses could tell that birth was only a few weeks away. The thought of his darling about to give birth to the first hybrid and his first child ever created filled him with giddiness and pride. The little one would be very special, he was sure of it. And it would receive a name his darling would choose for it. A name, just like they had given him one nearly two decades ago when he had been nothing but the monster from everyone's nightmare...

~~~

"That's the end of the story, my sweetie."

"Unfair! You didn't finish! What about the sea wizard and his story?"

"Another time, child. It's already quite late. You know what that means. It's time for you to sleep."

"...Fine. Pinky promise that you'll tell me his story too though?"

"Of course. Pinky promise."