#this was an older ask but im trying to answer some rn and this one made me laugh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hauntedkkitty · 2 years ago

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hi systems of tumblr i need Help. i am a questioning system and i have been for a long while now and idfk what to do or think anymore

i cannot talk to any sort of therapist / psychologist about this, so please give me any assistance you can even if its just "this sounds like ____" / "this relate to this and i have ___" / ANYTHING please

warning i dump some of my trauma here but i also put red text that just gives a summary without heavy desc so you can skip the description if you dont want to be triggered or upset.

tw child abuse, mentions of death / injury

basic info about me that may or may not relate

- i am a minor with cptsd & autism

- i have a Lot of repetitive trauma. like i dont wanna traumadump it all rn but a Lot.

- i am disabled

- all my older relatives are all shitty people which i cannot ask for help with this. all my younger relatatives would not be able to help. there is no one who i trust enough to help me with this So hiiii anon tumblr blog here i am

-i have not wanted to live for as long as i can remember [and i can remember very far back].

- i had a lot of periods in my childhood where i go Blank for a while, like, memory wise. i would "wake up" somewhere else the middle of an action and have no idea what was going on or why i was there. or felt out of control of my body, i dont know if this has lessened or if i have just grown used to the feeling if that makes sense

- i am psychotic. i have been since i was little and i know how to deal with it now and do not have any Serious delusions or hallucinations anymore

-ive been questioning whether or not im a system for a Long while now but i never get far with it because i literally cannot figure myself out.

- i do not feel i have a real personality

- i dissociated a Lot in childhood and even now.

- i feel like shit went Wrong when i was meant to develop into a normal person and i am now fundamentally fucked

- i have done a Lot of research of osdd/did [and disorders in general] on and off for some years and have never found a conclusion for myself Help me

trauma dump about my experience with possible alter - scroll to red text if you are triggered by: religious trauma, suicide mention / suicidal thoughts

when i was a child [this is abt when i was around 8] i was heavily in denial about the fact that i wanted to die.

i knew my parents [abusive] would react Badly and also i was religious and raised to believe i would burn in hell for it so i just Refused to admit that i hated living.

one day i saw it on the news with my parents [it was some headline like "suicide rates rising" or sum idfk sorry] and my mother said "who would be crazy enough to try and kill themselves" and she wanted an answer back so i said "haha yeah..." and i heard a voice behind me [like Right in my ear behind me] say "you would" [as in you would be crazy enough]

this was not an auditory hallucination. i did not have voice hallucinations at the age and it was extremely different to anything i have ever experienced.

and i was fucking terrified cause as previously mentioned i was raised religious and thought this was a demon trying to tempt me into sin and holy fuck there was a creepy girl whispering my deepest darkest most sinful of secrets in my ears

the voice whispered more into my ear about my inner workings and thoughts and stuff i was in denial of

i have no clue if this makes sense but when i heard its voice i saw like a Flash of info about it. like when you suddenly remember something and the whole memory just Vwoops into your brain? some physical traits and some personality traits, along with the fact that this thing Knows me deeply and knows everything about me?

i looked behind me and asked my mother if she said anything and she said no and gave me a weird look.

i never mentioned anything to anyone because i was convinced they would hurt me if i did.

i felt its presence in the back of my mind [it didnt speak often but even when silent i could feel its presence like the way you know when someones staring at you].

i kept refusing it and saying i did not want it and ignoring it everytime possible and eventually i felt it fade [not the right word but idk wtf to say. it went In or it just disapeared or something]. i felt kind of at a loss when it happened cause i didnt know what to do.

i considered the idea that it was trying to help me but even if it was i had no clue what it was.

TLDR: 8ish yrs old. i was in denial about my mental issues. i heard a voice in my ear very clearly wording out my mental issues in a way i could not. freaked the fuck out and ignored it even though i felt its presence for like a month and eventually i stopped feeling it there. no clue what that was

i told a system blog this experience once and they suggested that i look into bpd & aspd and that they dont know what to say as theyd never heard of something like that happening so young before

since then i have been never heard the voice behind me or any other solid voice. i dont know if it was an alter who went dormant or just some weird dream or hallucination or what.

i ignored it for all my childhood because i was scared. at some point a few years ago [covid times] i felt something similar again, not a voice but Something and i felt the immense need to try and figure it out. i did a Lot of work and all i could figure out was that voice probably Was trying to help me in some way. i was heavily in denial about most of my trauma and mental illness until like a few years ago because my family basically cult brainwashed me Haha.

also also i have had a lot of times where i have not felt Myself but have also still been there. its hard to word but i was still There watching myself do things and if i Really wanted i could try and stop my body from moving but like.... I didnt feel like i was Alone in my brain if that makes sense??? bru idk its that Feeling that someone else is there thing again.

trauma dump warning if you are triggered by: phys abuse [by father] mention, desc of me fearing my abuser would kill me scroll to red text

a time like this that stands out a lot is when i was younger [9+ -14] and my dad had just hit me and yelled at me and he pushed me down and i nearly hit my head on the stone kitchen counter but i just missed it and i was struck with this horrible fear because what would have happened if i did hit my head? i would probably be seriously injured. ive hurt myself on there before and it wasnt even that bad then but i still needed to go to the hospital. would i have died if i hit my head then? is he going to kill me now? and i was filled with so much fear i couldnt move and i had no idea how i would get out of this. i was literally backed into a corner. i completely spaced out.

i felt myself kinda Snap back in my mind for a second like idk how to phrase it but my mind Changed and all of a sudden i had a clear plan like Streamlined to my head and all emotion and desires other than SURVIVE were pushed out And like i felt So out of it and disorientated and ouguhhhhh felt weird bru idk how to word this shit was Odd and moving my body felt weird.

i saw myself run upstairs and check for injuries and try to clean up nd fix body but i did not feel like i was moving ??? like i was Out Of It and my body was just taking care of itself and i was just There like what is happening. OH I SORT OF HEARD A VOICE AGAIN HERE BUT IT WAS MORE LIKE. sudden dominant thought than voice in my ear voice. it was just telling me what to do and questioning if i had bandaids in my room.

TLDR: a time that stands out is when i was younger [9>14], i was being abused and nearly had a serious injury which i slimly avoided and was frozen with fear and spaced out. i suddenly felt myself snap back into place, disorientated and completely Weird, and felt thoughts [a plan to get out] that were not mine. i did not feel fully in control of my body and like i was being fed another persons thoughts as i saw my body tried to help itself. i felt like another persons thoughts were dominating over mine and all in all Strange.

anyway i kinda got back into myself after i was mostly taken care of but i was still Not Fully There if that makes sense??? like i still wasnt responding or thinking or talking or moving ANYTHING like what i usually do and i was aware of this and i was really confused about it and what was going on

sorry if this is worded wrong i wrote most of this late at night and again im autistic and get misinterpreted a lot and also my memory is kinda fucked up

anyways if anyone could could shed any light on this in literally anyway you could i would be super grateful.

ALSO if you think this is some form of osdd/did/plural thing Please tell me how to speak to the people in my head cause idk its weird like this i would like to know what is happening in there and not feel like im suddenly being possessed or like im insane

#questioning system #dissociative identity disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #osdd #system #did osdd #osdd system #did system #system help #plurality #dear GOD please show up in the tags #sorry if im using the wrong tags or terms or anything #im not used to tumblr

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jurinova · 1 year ago

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Hi! I wanted to get in contact with you for a couple reasons. You can feel free to answer this publicly or privately, whichever you're comfortable with, and your welcome to DM me if you need to have me clarify or explain more about the situation.

1, sorry for the spam, and 2, I'm really glad I have finally found your blog, Because I've been looking for a minute now. For starters thank you for unaware and subtle influence to my art style and my own outfit designs, I've really become super into outfit design wayyyy more than I was years ago when I first saw your outfit meme, and better at it two and secondly, one of your outfits was the first set of clothes i ever drew when I was redesigning my first OC from being a fandom and animal character to being more stand alone and human, years ago, and that means personally a lot to me, especially since I'm hoping to make something like a webcomic or animation outta my own characters and story eventually.

Although, to be fully honest and transparent, the reason it took so long to find your blog is because I didn't find your meme through Tumblr, I found it on Google images on Pinterest and lost the image and etc when I moved phones (where I do my art on), and full transparency, I do suffer from some mental health issues and one of those unfortunately means I have a really bad memory, and admittedly, I must of at some point just forgot that I had drawn the outfit from your meme originally and have continued using it? Im actually embarrassed to admit that and I feel awful about using your design for so long before I actually remembered that it wasn't mine or just something I saw someone wear once irl or etc, and I wanted to let you know that now that I am fully 110% aware now, and are older/wiser enough to know better than to use even others outfit designs like it's no big deal and that I wanna do what I can to fix things?

I'm planning on redesigning my main OC, who rn you can see clearly in the outfit on my icon/blog to have a different default outfit, and trying to go back to everything that has the old outfit and give proper credit, but I wanted to ask if there was anything else I can do or etc to help mend myself forgetting the outfit wasn't mine and using it so long without permission/credit. Because as someone who ended up making my own outfit memes, and has had designs and art basically stolen or having others take credit for, I feel awful that I somehow got myself to this point where I was absent mindedly using your design this whole time. Your art and designs are really fantastic and I don't wanna contribute to you not getting that attention/credit as I have been doing, and I feel bad I even forgot that kinda thing in the first place. I'm just glad I woke up and realized that I had basically gaslit myself into forgetting it was your design/one from a meme and not mine, because the last thing I'd want is to continue being a design thief now that I'm aware, and I'm glad at least I caught it before I started making my own comic or etc and had continued doing it.

TL;DR I've been accidentally using one of your outfits designs as a default on a main character of mine for a few years now, unaware I was even doing it because of certain memory issues I have, and now that I am fully aware, I want to deeply apologize and try to fix things and tell you that I plan to stop and change their default attire completely and go back and credit you wherever I can wherever I have used it, and ask if there is anything more I could do to fix this mess I've made?

Hi! First of all: Absolutely no need to apologize for spamming me with likes! That was great, and really made me smile. Thank you for that!

Secondly, thank you for having the courage to message me about a matter like this. Of course, I feel sad to know that my outfits memes are floating in Pinterest and who knows where but that is something many artists these days have to face. The internet culture currently is about sharing and many people don't stop to think about the consequences, and that sharing images might cause problems for artists. Without sources people can't find the right artist or they may not know that the content was not for taking. Obviously I don't want people to intentionally take my designs or art, but I am aware that it can happen completely unintentionally: which I'm sure was the case with you.

So, please don't feel bad about the situation anymore! We all make mistakes, that's just life. The fact that you're choosing not to use the outfit in the future is enough for me. It actually feels great to be an inspiration and to know that my outfits are well liked, so if I can offer any further advice it's this: go forth and design more cool outfits! Be inspired by others but always create something that is yours. When you look at the old outfit on your character, think about what was it that made it seem so perfect for that character. Then take those parts and transform it into something new, something better, something more you. That's really the cool thing about designing, you really get to express yourself and your characters through outfits. It's why I love doing it so much.

I wish you all the best and good luck with your webcomic project! ✨

#asks #askstrangeweird #long post

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gojo-mochi · 1 year ago

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I never know if I count as a mutual or not 😅 (some-piece on main here). Nor that if I can join the fun if I hadn't really talked selfship on main. Either way, I am giving you a holy permission to kick me right in the ass 😂

Shyly giving Nanami under the judgment consideration 'cause I'm not a sadist to torture you with the more known creature of mine aka Luffy. Curious what you'll say 👀❤

ofc you can join!!! omg NANAMI mmm i wrote a 18k fic for that man he so UGHHHH. I got you hehe and ofc youre a mutual to me!! if you want me to try to write luffy im willing to try HAHA

"friends to lovers"

You been friends for a while, Nanami found you to be one of the few ppl he can be calm and relax around. Not unlike Haibara and Shoko and def not like Geto or Gojo... He slowly found himself drawn to you more, seeking you out in group settings, opting to sit next to you, saying to himself that it was bc sitting that to Gojo was the worst option even the seat next to Haibara was free but whatever, You two slowly started doing things without the group as you got older, nanami would take you to all the new food spots ( i think it canon that hes a foodie) never pushing it further than wiping away at your lips with a napkin ONCE. Once he figures out that this wasnt a small crush he would be open and upfront about it to you, asking you out with a bouqet of flowers in his hand. To go on a date to one of the restaurant you really liked. He would confess his feelings and by the way his face was stoic u think he wouldnt care if u rejected him but oh man he cares, he just trying nbot to show it on his face rn but hes clenching his teeth so hard waiting for your answer.

#bas!!!#softy moots (づ ᴗ ᴗ)づ♡#softy talks to you (·•᷄ࡇ•᷅ ) (•᷄ •᷅ ;)#ahh hope you like!

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mydemonsdrivealimo · 1 year ago

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19, 26, and 36 for the relationships asks

im answering for blaine/kennedy bc ive done similar ones for j/b before but feel free to ask and i can add them!!

19. How do they deal with being away from each other for a long time?

lots and lots of phone calls. theyre not really the private jet types (they know how bad it is for the environment and do not want to contribute) so when they do visit each other, especially for the summer when theyre both in their respective countries, they try to fly commercial if they can (much to the dismay of their security teams). for the most part though its just consistent texts and video calls. and ofc watching the other during interviews and such and immediately texting after to make fun of them or various other unnecessary comments <3

26. How do they comfort each other?

mostly downtime and just,, silently being together. if its some really rough shit going on w their families or in the press, occasionally they do getaways/vacays, but thats not always the easiest considering how much security and clearance they need to get beforehand (i do have a little fic going rn about how they sneak off for a weekend alone. like,, whole ass heist mission). but anyway for the most part its just being there for each other but not being overbearing. its more silent understanding than anything

36. How’d they meet each other’s families?

okay okay so kennedy met blaines fam when their mom was first elected. blaine was being his broody little teenage self and refused to show face at the entire event, but kennedy at least got to meet his mom, dad, and sister. they were,, not very pleasant towards them, their mom, or their brother (his sister was better but quiet). as for official meeting, blaine met kennedys mom at parents weekened, and the rest of their siblings later on after they were out to the public at a charity event for one of cal's (kennedys older brothers) organizations. kennedy got to meet the rest of blaines fam (after parents weekend) on a weekend trip to ardona after the book ended :)

#ty for asking!! sorry if this isnt the pairing you wanted asdfghjk #blaine hayes x kennedy grant #asks answers

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galezellybelly · 4 months ago

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doing this cos im bored!! (ik it's actually supposed to be an ask game but uh. i wanna do it) answers under cut!

no lol i hate their asses

my beautiful gorgeous goddess gf

yeah.

oh so incredibly insecure. and in the weirdest ways possible, too

takennnn

being so incredibly fr i'll prolly accidentally kill myself. not like tomorrow or anytime soon but i'll get older and be like "yeah no i can die now. imma go do xyz obviously dangerous thing hold my drink"

i had lemon water this morning (it counts okay)

i have in the past, yes. very badly

used to, but when i got braces it hurt to and after they got taken off the habit was mostly broken

i do martial arts so like. last week. i've never street fought anyone tho (lowkey wannna to see if i could take them tho. for funsies)

yeah my girlfriend (we're dating but i still have like. a huge crush on her)

i've stayed up 6 days straight, during a finals week (and came out with a 4.0 somehow) so yes

idk. probably but if i don't like someone i usually remove them from my psyche

no actually, not someone that's emotionally gone or anything. a lot of people i used to know kinda sucked. i miss my friends all the time, but i don't think that's what they mean

two mini aussies!

being so honest? tired and stressed because im so behind on a lot of work and starting to fear it wont get done in time. but its okay, the world will keep spinning even if i miss the deadline. the brain parasites have been NASTLY lately tho so im lowkey thinking everyone hates me. its like fine tho ik its not true

yeah.

i love spiders actually they're really cute imo. still freak out for a sec tho sometimes

no.

her bed :p

imma see if i can arrange to go to the fair with my friends!

i am NOT giving birth and i don't trust myself to raise a full ass organic kid. if i end up wanting kids i'll foster or adopt, though

only the standard ear piercings, though i wanna get more (SO many more)

idk prolly like. english im good at that stuff. math if i actually pay attention, but i hate it

nope they can suck my not-yet-existent dick

one of those ultraviolet monsters. or a code red mountain dew. anything that tastes like battery acid would do rn tbh

doubt it lol

nope

yeah bcuz i was crying and it made her cry lol

the fact that im answering a list of questions instead of getting off my ass and doing the work im so worried about

i've been told they do. working on believing it :3

ooooo i like a lot of them. anything bright and eyestrain-y

hell yeah i do 🙌

a version of my friend that wasn't actually them but like. in the dream they were. yk?

my girlfriend

not really. if it was a genuine mistake, yeah, but if it was just being shitty then hell no

forget, definitely. but i usually can forgive before i manage to forget

yeah, so far. although 2023 has some weird nostalgia to it that i don't feel anymore

13 lol

no??

this one specific brand of spicy noodles

not really for a reason, no. but i think everything that happens was supposed to, even if it doesn't necessarily affect the final outcome

painted my nails, for some reason

okay hear me out. if you are in an abusive relationship and cannot leave but find someone you love and they know you can't leave, i think it would be fine to date them. unless it's a situation like that, where you can't leave the relationship, than no.

i try not to be, although i suspect i too often speak before i think

in martial art, prolly like. idk a lot. like i said tho no street fights yet

i don't know. i don't think that how you feel about someone can be predetermined or "meant to be" everyone has differences and fights; it's up to you and your partner(s) to figure out how to deal with them.

i answered this one on an ask but i'll go with rain =]

when its good snow and not just dirty slush, yeah

i'd be happy just being in a relationship with my partner for the rest of my life without having to officially get married, but ig the tax benefits would be nice

yeahhhh lol

the people i love

not legally. the government doesn't have to know. but just in friend circles yeah, i might

not at all

(gonna remove the "opposite sex" part of these questions lol) i mean. my gf was my best friend before we were dating. she still is. but if another one of my friends told me that. uh. i would be flattered but IM MARRIED

yeah! a lot of them, actually. im very lucky

i mean the last person i talked to was one of my friends. uh.

probably also one of my friends, if you can call that a deep conversation

yes and no

yeah, in a minute. so many of them

it only goes till 60 cuz the original list skipped from 40 to 51 lol

this was not read thru and heavily unedited so uh. sorry

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

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thankyoumskobayashi · 2 years ago

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@staff i’ve seen previews of the new desktop post editor and here’s why im keeping the superior older version. so, about the new post editor:

its tagging system is in shambles. why can the older editor scroll through tags with arrow keys, but the new one can’t? was this feature implemented before your time so you have no idea how to recreate it??????/ given your lack of answer i am going to assume so

don’t give me that ugly round post button. i think in square-shaped text boxes with slightly rounded corners. elegant. simple. none of that ugly ovals crap get it out of my face rn immediately.

the new paragraph styling icons (NOT text-styling icons!) look worse than before. i get that color coding is “fun” and “interactive” but i genuinely don’t want my image insert icon to be in technicolor. i can understand if you wanted to make the “insert image” the same color as the newfangled IMAGE POST icon from the new post menu, but nobody i know actually memorizes either of those colors so your efforts are wasted.

bullets and numbers aren’t a font type. nice try

the new generic tumblr font looks more like you’re sucking up to windows’ piece of garbage OS by stealing their font and foisting it upon your users. this font was genetically engineered in a lab to reduce the braincell count of its readers by an order of magnitude more each time they look at it. it’s like times new roman got neutered and then birthed a bastard with arial. discosting

text-styling icons got changed enough that i don’t even recognize them anymore. who is this man? why is he in my house where the italic should be???? the italians are probably crying. for shame.

This is unrelated but literall No one asked for a follow button immediately next to someone’s blog. it’s not even a pretty plus sign it;s literally just some bolded arial word. it looks so ugly and jarring. the plus symbol is clearly another elder feature staff haven’t managed to successfully reanimate. and clearly, it’s meant to encourage the pornbots bc why else would they add that now?

i don’t have polls so clearly that has no effect on my biases in this post! i promise i’ll pretend the new post font isn’t completely repulsive if i get polls

#tugsposting #''FUN'' new features! :)

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bonniebird · 2 years ago

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Supergirl-friend

Donna Troy x Fem!Reader

Requested by anon

Masterpost

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“You needed some help?” You said over your headpiece. You heard Barb sigh.

“As long as you’re not needed elsewhere, Kryptonian?” Barb answered.

“Well. There’s a satellite that I need to deal with. I can get that done on the way. Is there trouble in San Francisco?” You asked.

“Yes. Let me know when you’re done with the satellite. Apparently, the problem is a big one and we’re already spread thin.” Barba asked. The signal on the headpiece cut out and then less than a minute later you were back on the coms.

“Done. Where do I need to go?” You asked.

“There’s a carnival downtown. I can’t get any cameras on what’s happening to be careful. I’ll see if I know anyone that can help get a visual.” Barb said as you turned in the air. As you dropped down you spotted several familiar faces and looked around.

“Urm. Barb? I think I’m too late to the party. Looks like the Titans have it under control?” You said as you watched Dove go on a ride to retrieve a doll.

“Yes. I've just gotten through to the person blocking the visual. Sorry to waste your time.” Barb answered.

“I’ll see if I can be of any help before I head off. You don’t need me anywhere else while I’m here?” You asked and she scoffed.

“I’ll let you know.” Barb said and she cut off the coms so that you wouldn’t hear into the control room.

Turning you gave an awkward wave, you only really knew the older members of the Titans outside of their secret identities, it didn’t surprise you that they were standoffish. Though the newer members were the ones that waved back. The group stared at you and then looked past you. “Dove!”

Turning as Donna ran forwards you saw a power line falling. Dove cleared the way and when it was clear that she wouldn’t make it you moved forward. You could feel some of the electricity burning through you but having, by chance, helped your sister deal with Livewire a few months before, Cisco Ramon and Winn Schott had upgraded your suit to try and lessen the damage from attacks. Though the suit was upgraded you could feel that you were weakened and dropped the power line. Stumbling backwards you found that Dove had made it to you first. Pulling your mask off you gasped. You rarely felt ill on earth but that shock might have done it.

“(Y/N)?” Donna and Grayson said in unison.

“You’re a Kryptonian!” One of the Titans said.

Donna hurried over and helped you to your feet. She was staring at you as if she didn't know you at all.

“It’s supposed to be a secret.” You said and Donna scoffed.

“Well, you’re terrible at keeping secrets so no wonder we found out. You know that there are news reporters showing up and they just caught your act of braver and your demasking.” Donna glanced over her shoulder at the news vans that were pulling up.

“So are you. I’ve known for years you were trained by the Amazons.” You admitted. She smiled but pulled a face of shock. “I also know about you know who and his bat friend.” You gestured to Grayson who still looked mildly shocked at your secret being revealed.

“I can’t believe that you kept this from me all this time!” She went on.

“Can we talk more about it when I’ve recovered from a major zapping? Plus I praised Barb. I'd keep an ear out for her and I think my Coms melted in my ear.” You complained. Dove hurried over to take a little of your weight and you found yourself hurried along and taken back to the titans' tower to recover. The next day your sister arrived and berated you for revealing your identity but assured you that all the footage of your face had somehow been scrambled by someone, Winn you assumed and that you weren’t allowed to do anything so reckless again.

Donna Troy tags;

@linkpk88 @babypink224221 @lisainhell @spiderwebs-blog @gryffindorqueensworld @rockyrascal @twerp8999 @multi-fandom5 @supernatural-wolfie @love1deandra @archaeologydigit @im-eating-rn @bucketbunny @littlefreakingfangirl

#donna troy #donna troy x reader #titans #bonniebird

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dgaftilwedie · 6 months ago

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strange peculiar weird looking fucking thing

i wish i was less annoying 💀💀💀 i feel like all i do is bother people and no one actually really likes hanging out with me because im fucking obnoxious!!!! i wish i didn't think that way but i don't know how NOT to

i do NOT wanna dwell on that rn!!!!!!!

family guy.......... breaking bad............ god i need to rewatch that show i fucking love breaking bad

i don't really have any???

i wanna go back to new york city so bad 😭😭

no one's gonna look out for you so you have to look out for yourself. your friends aren't your friends until they're your friends, yknow??

my hot bio teacher /hj

summer because it doesn't make me suicidal LMFAO

the inside cover of ur favorite cd

im not even gonna lie there's ten songs and half of them are by BTS

coolest guy i've ever had the pleasure of meeting. he's so fun to be around and i'd probably kill somebody for him. he smells like weed and warmth and the 2000s. 10/10 human being i fuckin love that guy

i was in a dodgeball competition with some people at my school that i didn't like but instead of using dodgeballs, we were using tiny water-filled popping bobas. i became a dodgeball god.

pumpkin spice latte 🤤🤤

SWAN SONGS BY HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD. it was the first album i ever got attached to and i've been criminally obsessed with hollywood undead since i was fucking 2!!!!!!! their dove n grenade logo is gonna be my first tattoo :33

idk, getting punched in the face??

i don't really have a favorite painting

uhmmmm scene kid meets teenage boy from 2013 meets white trailer trash chick

what does this question mean

this is lowkey embarrassing but jimmy urine 💀💀 YES I KMOW HE'S A BAD PERSON OK I WAS A LITTLE KID

i've been on tumblr for about 4 years and i don't think the way i've used it had changed very much

it was a piece of shit android but it did what i needed it to do (except for run roblox)

mmmmmm strawberry :3

my uncle dave LMAO i would ask him literally every question under the sun i haven't seen him since i was 6

sandwich.......... but hear me out. you can literally turn ANYTHING into a sandwich. salad sandwich......... pizza sandwich.......... burrito sandwich.......... sushi sandwich......... anythig constitutes as a sandwich

?????? what kind of whavk ass question

POSTAL POSTAL POSTAL POSTAL POSTAL POSTAL POSTAL POSTAL POSTAL POSTAL EEEEEEEEEEEE

shark :33 i love shark :33

stank ass pits

i just think dragons are really fucking cool :33

that scene is turning red where the main character's mom brings her fanart to show the fuckinnnnnnn convenience store worker that she has a crush on the fanart she drew of him 💀💀💀 literally had to pause the movie for 20 minutes to think about if it was really worth watching

uhmmm probably my ancient brokencyde cds

i've chipped one of my front teeth so many times that half the time it doesn't even look like it's there 💀💀 i am the one toothed wonder

never been to one

not in the mood to dwell rn :3

YOLOOOOOOO

all of my habits are strange i do everything in patterns (i am 99% sure i have ocd)

poofesure gameplays 💕💕

uhmmmmmm idkkkkkkkkkk :PPPPPPP

jerk off

making my own original music

idk but i bought this dope ass sonic hat earlier today it's fucking awesome

stupid poopy loser

prettyyyyyyy good B)) i think my relationship with my dad is a little better than my relationship with my mom

the bass

ramona flowers........ not in a manic pixie dream girl all the incels want me way, but in the we're both people who've made mistakes, tried to run from them, and are now trying to face them head on and be better people way

most country just does not float my boat like specifically MODERN country............ the older shit is super mega nostalgic for me cuz i grew up in the country

i would be too excited to experience fear like "OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT FUCKING CREATURE!!!!!" but the answer is probably ants because i am scared of ants :D

i think most people are overrated

silly blog :3 tell people my thoughts :3 hello world!!!!!!!!!! \(^_^)/

50 Q’s

1.) describe yourself through the eyes of a stranger? 2.) what is a quality you’d like to change about yourself? 3.) what is your worst potential fear for the future? 4.) which television series do you use as a form of escapism? 5.) share a secret about yourself? 6.) if you could choose any place in the world to visit, where would it be? why? 7.) what advice would you give your childhood self? 8.) describe how you envision your ideal life partner? 9.) what is your favorite environmental season? why? 10.) what’s one book you’d suggest every person should read? 11.) what is one song that’s able to bring you to tears? 12.) describe your best friend? 13.) what was the premise of your last dream? 14.) what’s your favorite warm beverage? 15.) name one musical album that greatly impacted your life? why? 16.) what’s your favorite form of flattery? 17.) what’s your favorite painting? and describe how it makes you feel? 18.) describe your personal style? 19.) what was the last concept that inspired you? 20.) who was your very first artistic inspiration? 21.) how long have you used tumblr for? how has your style changed over the years? 22.) what was your first cell phone? 23.) what is your favorite fruit flavor? 24.) whom would you resurrect from the afterlife? which 3 questions would you ask them? 25.) if you could choose only one meal to eat for the remainder of your life, which would you choose? 26.) which of the 7 deadly sins do you struggle with the most? and which the least? 27.) your latest obsession? and why? 28.) if you could domesticate any animal as your pet, which would you choose? 29.) what’s your least favorite smell? 30.) favorite mythological creature? and why? 31.) name a scene from a movie that makes you cringe? 32.) favorite piece of memorabilia you own? 33.) your personal favorite oddity about yourself? 34.) favorite concert/show you’ve attended? 35.) what’s one thing you would tell to the last person who betrayed you? 36.) your favorite mantra to live by? 37.) do you have any strange habits? 38.) what’s your favorite white-noise to fall asleep to? 39.) what is your favorite gemstone? why? 40.) how do you choose to cope when you’re upset? 41.) what are you currently trying to accomplish? 42.) what’s your favorite item you’ve purchased secondhand? 43.) describe your personality is only 3 words? 44.) how is your relationship with your parents? 45.) an instrument you aspire to learn how to play? 46.) relate yourself to one movie character? 47.) least favorite music genre? why? 48.) which animal would you be the most terrified to encounter? 49.) name a public figure you find to be overrated? why? 50.) what purpose do you get out of using tumblr?

#kira's answering questions. again.

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imaginemcyt · 3 years ago

Note

Im in serious need of george comforting reader with social anxiety headcannons rn

georgenotfound comforting a reader with social anxiety

cc!georgenotfound x gn!reader

tw: social anxiety, panic attacks

a/n: hey there! normally i wouldn't prioritize a newer ask when i have older ones to work on, but this one seemed important. i hope you're doing alright, love :(

first of all, his main focus isn't comforting you, per se, more of getting you tf out of there.

if you have to interact with people and you're struggling, he'll help you. not to the point of overstepping, but he'll order food for you and answer questions for you, if you need him to.

even though he also hates interacting with people and gets awkward, he will do it for you.

he loves you that much.

he'll hold your hand and gently rub your knuckles while rescuing you from uncomfortable situations.

if it gets to the point of a panic attack, he will grab you by the hand and quickly get you somewhere private so you can calm down.

awkward with affection and words, but will hug you and tell you "it's alright, you're okay" over and over.

it might not seem like much, but he's really trying to help in any way he can.

tries to get you to talk to some of his friends (if you're okay with that, of course) to practice interacting, but without the pressure of a total stranger.

#dream smp #mcyt #mcyts x reader #x reader #georgenotfound x you #georgenotfound x y/n #george mcyt #georgenotfound x reader #george x reader #georgenotfound

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kireimarkeu · 4 years ago

Text

retrouvailles; l.mk

THIS IS A REPOST!!!!

Summary: counting down the days until you finally see your long-distance boyfriend.

Mark is a jerk at one point. Also noticed how I put skype when they were calling through the phone and ft through laptop LOL

word count: 5.7k

Also lets pretend we can use spotify in korea ok

--Day 98

(10:33PM) Cutie: you idiot

(10:33PM) Cutie: answer my call!! You loserrrr

(10:34PM) You: omg give me a second

(10:35PM) You: ffs jshkdmj

(10:35PM) Cutie: omg what are you doing

(10:35PM) Cutie: why are you taking so long

(10:37PM) You: GIVE ME A SECOND

(10:37PM) You: im taking food

You plop onto your bed, placing the plate of grapes on the mattress, resulting in some to topple out of the bowl. You quickly pop one in your mouth before turning on your laptop.

Before you could even call Mark, he was already requesting a facetime with you. You immediately answered.

“Finally,” your boyfriend huffs when the call was finally connected.

You hum, your hands searching for more grapes that has dropped on your bed sheets, popping them in your mouth.

“What are you eating?” he asks.

“Grapes,” your voice came out muffled from chewing, but Mark understands.

“That’s what took you so long?” he frowns, “I can cut a watermelon in 5 seconds,”

“I didn’t ask,” you bite back.

Your boyfriend automatically raises his hand to flash his middle finger while you did the same back at him.

“What time is it there?” you ask him with raised eyebrows.

You were studying in Korea but because of the virus, you had to go back to Canada. You didn’t know how long you would be staying, but Mark had promised you that he would make it work.

“Um,” he looks at the clock that was a hanging next to him, “it’s 2:30PM here,” he answers, looking back at you, “It’s about 11 there, right?”

You nod.

“Don’t you have class tomorrow?” Mark asks.

Lucky for you, your classes has changed to the local timing in Canada. Meaning, you don’t need to stay up at ungodly hours for your classes.

“I think I can wake up tomorrow,”

“Do you want me to call you?”

“Please,” you pout.

Mark scowls jokingly at you, “the things I do for my girlfriend,”

You giggle innocently at your boyfriend, “I love you,” you make a heart with your hands, grinning at your laptop.

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolls his eyes.

--Day 90

“Babe, look up,” you call.

Mark looks up to see you holding your phone up, obviously filming him through the screen.

“What?”

He could hear you grinning from behind your phone.

“Smile,” you instruct.

He grins awkwardly while you let out a snort from behind the screen. You put your phone down, typing something before looking back up at your boyfriend.

“What did you do?”

You look up at him, biting back a smile— to which you failed, “go check Instagram,”

Mark immediately opens Instagram to see that you had posted something on your private Instagram. Only him and the members are following your private account since your relationship is still private.

He clicks on the bubble to see a video of him that you had recorded. When he smiles, his face morphed into a horse from of the filter you were using. Mark couldn’t help but chuckle at the funny effect.

“Okay, that’s kinda funny,” he admits.

He looks back up at you to see you holding your phone in front of your face again, probably trying another filter on him again.

“Is this another ugly filter, again?” whines your boyfriend.

You laugh, your phone not covering your face anymore, “it’s not!”

“Don’t lie,”

Your giggles got louder, “it’s not! I swear!”

“Fine,” he huffs. He straightens his back and stares at the camera, waiting for you to finish recording.

You put your phone down re-watching the video, chuckles leaving your lips.

“What filter did you use?”

“It’s on my insta, baby,”

He looks down on his phone again to see that you have posted another story. He immediately clicks on it to see it was an NCT filter.

‘Who is your NCT Bias?’ Was written on top of his head.

Mark waits for the filter to show the result. He grimaced when he got Jeno. He swipes up to reply to your story to send you a message.

markleeee99 replied to your story: ewww

--Day 87

(1:18PM) mwark: hello baby

(1:20PM) you: wht im having class rn

(1:20PM) mwark: so

(1:25PM) you: i have class??? go away loser

(1:25PM) mwark: :( I just wanna talk to my girlfriend tho :/

(1:27PM) you: later

(1:27PM) mwark: nooo

(1:33PM) you: omg youre an idol why are you so free

(1:34PM) you: go dance or rap or smth

(1:34PM) mwark: babyyyy

(1:35PM) you: im putting my phone on dnd

(1:35PM) mwark: nooo

(1:35PM) mwark: babe

(1:40PM) mwark: did you actually leave me D:

(1:40PM) mwark: ok whatev

(1:40PM) mwark: I was about to send you something but I guess I won’t now

(1:40PM) mwark: are you still ignoring me????

(1:41PM) mwark: omg babe I was jst joking I’ll send you some gifts

(1:41PM) mwark: booo u suck :(

--Day 81

This time, it was slightly different. Instead of your usual late-night calls through the computer, you had immediately skype him through your phone when you had received a package from Korea.

“You got me something?” you ask loudly when your boyfriend answered your call.

“Jeez, hello to you too, babe,” he rolls his eyes, “and yea, did it arrive?”

“What did you get me? And what type of shipping did you choose? It arrived so quickly,”

The box was pretty heavy, so you had to put your phone down to place the huge box on the counter before bringing your phone back into view.

“Express, I paid like extra,” Mark answers, eyeing you through the screen.

You click your tongue, opening the drawer to take out a knife, “stop wasting your money, you dumbass,”

Mark didn’t reply, instead he waits for you to open the package.

You let out a sigh, “what did you get me this time?”

You open the cardboard box, a navy-blue hoodie covering the top of it. You pull it out, looking at Mark who has a smile plastered on his face.

“Is this your hoodie?!” you squeal, putting it on yourself.

Your heart melt when the familiar scent fills your nostrils. It smells just like Mark.

“Canada is getting cold isn’t it? Keep yourself warm, baby,”

You lean over to take everything out from the box. Mark had given you his half-used cologne that he uses on a daily.

“I bought a new one just so I could give you mine,” he tells you, a playful smirk on his lips.

He had also packed some of your favourite Korean snacks, and some that you haven’t tried before. Along with some matching phone cases for the both of you.

“Now I feel bad I didn’t get anything for you,” you frown., pulling the hoodie over your head.

“Don’t be,” he reassures you, “being able to see you is already enough,”

You scrunch your nose in disgust, “cringey, Mark-ie,”

“Fuck you,” he chuckles, flashing his middle finger at you.

Your eyes widen when he cursed, “my mom’s home, you idiot!”

You laugh loudly when Mark’s eyes widen in surprise, both his hands covering his mouth.

“Y/N?” you hear your mom call from the living room, “who are you talking to?”

Before you could even reply, your mother was walking towards you.

“It’s Mark,” you answer as your mother got into frame to see Mark.

“Mark! It has been a while, how’s Korea?”

Your boyfriend greeted your mom politely, a grin plastered on his face. Your mom was about to reach for your phone to talk to Mark, but you frown and pull away.

“Noo, I wanna talk to Mark,”

You gathered the gifts Mark had given you in your arms before skipping up the stairs to your room, to spend the whole day (night for him) with him.

--Day 80

“Yo, Mark, there’s some food left outside, do you want it?” you heard Johnny ask from through the screen.

Mark turns to look at the intruder, “knock next time, dude,” groans Mark.

“Is that y/n?”

Johnny suddenly enters the frame with a gummy grin, waving enthusiastically at you.

“Hi Johnny, how are you?” you smile, waving back at the older boy.

Just when Johnny was about to get comfortable on Mark’s bed, your boyfriend let out string of whines, moving his phone until you could only see his cheeks.

“Ah, that’s enough,” your boyfriend says in annoyance, “y/n is tired, goodnight, baby.”

You couldn’t even reply because Mark had already ended the skype call.

You pout, opening your messenger to send a text to your boyfriend.

(7:35PM) You: heyyy why’d you end the call? ):

(7:36PM) Bubba: sorry

(7:36PM) Bubba: johnny was being annoying

(7:36PM) You: he wasn’t tho ):

(7:36PM) You: can we call again?

(7:38PM) Bubba: sorry angel

(7:38PM) Bubba: johnny wants me to go make music

(7:38PM) Bubba: later tonight?

(7:38PM) You: oky

(7:42PM) You: love u!

(7:42PM) Bubba: love u too

(7:42PM) Bubba: <3

--Day 76

You were in the middle of facetiming mark when your phone vibrates from a text. You raise your eyebrows, thinking it was Mark.

(12:11AM) Johnny: hey

(12:11AM) Johnny: I need to ask you something

(12:13AM) You: yeah?

(12:13AM) Johnny: is mark okay lately?

(12:13AM) You: he seems fine to me, why? Did something happen?

(12:14AM) Johnny: I don’t know if I should tell you about this

(12:14AM) Johnny: but

(12:14AM) Johnny: youre the only one who can probably help him

(12:14AM) You: help him with what?

You look up at your laptop to see that Mark’s eyes was still glued on his phone. Probably playing some games.

(12:17AM) Johnny: he hasn’t been eating lately

(12:19AM) Johnny: he doesn’t really tell us stuff anymore so I was wondering you would’ve known something?

(12:22AM) You: oh

(12:22AM) You: he hasn’t told me anything

(12:23AM) You: I’ll talk to him about it

(12:25AM) You: thanks johnny :)

“Hey,” you jump at your boyfriend’s voice. You snap your head to look at your boyfriend who was already staring at you with curious eyes. “What are you so busy with?”

You clear your throat, shaking your head, tossing your phone to the side.

“I wanna ask you something,” you say.

“Whats up?”

You scratch your head, unsure of how to put it into words without offending your boyfriend. You knew he hated being babied but you still want to care for him. He was your other half, after all.

“Have you been eating well lately?”

You could sense Mark was stunned by the random question. He looks away from your wary eyes.

“Who told you?”

“Mark—”

“It was Johnny wasn’t it?” he cuts you off in anger. “God damn it, this is why I don’t want you talking to my friends,”

Why was he making this such a big deal?

“Mark I was just asking a simple question, why are you acting this way?” you argued back.

He shakes his head, threading his fingers through his black hair stressfully.

“I need to go Y/N,” sighs your boyfriend, “Goodnight,”

“Mark—” you were too late. Mark had already ended the call.

A heavy sigh left your lips as you lied down on your bed.

You weren’t sure if you should text him or give him space. Should you apologize? Was it your fault for bringing it up?

After thinking for a while, you decided to send him a text.

(8:33PM) You: hi baby. I was just asking because I was worried about you. I know you hate it when I baby you, but I’m just looking out for you. I didn’t mean to bother you

(8:33PM) You: please don’t blame your friends for this.

(8:36PM) You: I’m sorry, okay?

(8:40PM) You: I just want you to eat healthily. I’m not there to take care of you and I just want you to be healthy.

(8:47PM) You: just text me whenever so we can talk this out

(8:57PM) You: goodnight, mark

--Day 75

(12:03PM) Lovey: hey

(12:03PM) Lovey: I was thinking and realised how selfish I acted towards you

(12:05PM) Lovey: I know you were just looking out for me and I was just wasn’t in the mood because of how stressful it has been

(12:05PM) Lovey: please don’t apologize. Its my fault

(12:15PM) You: why haven’t you been eating?

(12:15PM) Lovey: comeback

(12:15PM) Lovey: I’m trying to lose some cheeks for this comeback

(12:30PM) Lovey: sorry for worrying you

(12:31PM) You: whaa…

(12:33PM) You: but you know my favourite part of your face is your cheeks D:

(12:33PM) Lovey: :(

(12:33PM) You: will you start eating again?

(12:35PM) You: im not going to force you, mark. It’s really up to you.

(12:35PM) Lovey: im eating right now

(12:35PM) You: what are you eating

(12:38PM) Lovey: cereal

(12:38PM) Lovey: and um some left over sushi from yesterday

(12:38PM) You: ohhh sounds delicious

(12:40PM) You: okay I wont disturb you anymore, have fun eating bby

As you were about to put your phone away but there was an incoming videocall from your boyfriend. A small chuckle left your lips as you answered the call.

--Day 73

“Yo, did you see it?!” was the first thing Mark had asked you when you answered his call.

You raise your eyebrows in confusion, sitting up from your laying position, “see what?”

“We just posted a new dance practice; did you not see it?” his eyes widen dismay.

You shook your head, grabbing your laptop from the table, placing it on your lap, “nope, my phone was on dnd,”

“How did you answer my call, then?”

“You’re in my favourites dumbass,”

You type in your password before searching YouTube and clicking on the video that your boyfriend was talking about.

While watching the video, you placed your phone resting on the laptop so Mark could see your face. Throughout the whole video, you were singing softly to the song.

“Did you see that?! Did you see it?” Mark suddenly yells through the screen during the dance break part.

You jump a little, “what? What? What did I miss?”

He groans at you, “the bracelet! Johnny dropped it!”

“Huh?” you press the arrow to repeat it again and you noticed how Johnny’s bracelet fell while he was dancing.

“Wait a little more, I picked it up! Like a professional!”

You waited a little longer and your boyfriend was right. While he was getting into position, your boyfriend had swept the bracelet in his hands.

You grin, “proud of you, babe,”

You wanted to continue watching but your laptop started lagging from the terrible wi-fi. You groan in annoyance, pressing pause, hoping it would reload but it only hangs even more.

“God damnit, this fucking wi-fi,”

“Should I buy you a router? Or a new laptop?” he jokes.

--Day 71

(9:02PM) You: hey wanna call?

(9:02PM) You: today was so stressful I just wanna talk to you

(10:12PM) You: ahh you must be busy with comeback

(9:32PM) You: sorry babe! We’ll jst call tmr? :)

(9:33PM) You: love u! make sureee u drink lots of water <3

-Day 67

Mark lets out an aspirated sigh as he answers your facetime call. “What, Y/N?”

You frown at the way he greets you. He was moody probably because he just finished practicing.

You could tell from how he was laying on his bed without a shirt on, or how he would repeatedly thread his fingers through his black locks.

“I just wanted to talk to you,” you mumble out softly, your eyes softening, feeling guilty that you were disturbing him.

You bit your lip anxiously when Mark simply sighs, rolling his eyes slightly, “should we just call another time?”

He sighs once more, moving around until he lays on his side, “no, no, what’s up?”

You felt a little hesitant, unsure if he was being sarcastic or not. Mark wasn’t the type to approach something if he doesn’t like it, he would just go with the flow.

You shook your head, laying back down onto your bed, “No, you’re tired and I shouldn’t be disturbing you right now.”

Mark opens his mouth but you cut him off, “Sorry, Mark. Goodnight.”

You quickly end the call with a heavy heart, throwing your phone next to you. You knew you shouldn’t be expecting an incoming call from your boyfriend, but you shamelessly waited for his specific ringtone.

It did break your heart a little when you didn’t get any response from your boyfriend.

That night, you had spent your time watching Netflix with tears rolling down your cheeks.

-Day 62

“Y/N?”

A choked sob left your throat, your hands wiping the tears running down your cheeks.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Johnny’s voice filled your ears.

You gulp as your heart clench painfully when you hear Mark’s laughter in the background.

“Y/N, d-do you want me to pass the phone to Mark?”

“N-no,” you quickly say out, pausing a little. Hiccups leaving your lips, “d-don’t… please,”

“Okay?” Johnny replies in uncertainty, “Are you… okay? Should I beat Mark up?” he jokes.

You couldn’t bring yourself to smile. “How is he doing?” you whisper, but Johnny could hear very clearly.

You assumed that he had moved somewhere else since you can’t hear the boys screaming in the background.

“Did something happen?” Johnny asks, “I’m not with them right now, so you can tell me.”

You remember the last time you had last talked to Mark.

It has been exactly 5 days since the both of you last texted— or even called. You weren’t sure why or how it happened.

It had taken a big toll on you— you couldn’t focus during lessons and you had spent most of the nights wide awake, thinking what had gone wrong. You had contemplated multiple times whether you should send him a text, but every time you push yourself to say something, you would always remember how busy he is.

“We haven’t been talking for a while,” you answer painfully, “but he’s doing fine, right?”

You hope he’s doing fine.

You hear Johnny lets out an agitated sigh, “Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll go talk to him, okay?”

“Just… don’t stress him out even more.”

“I won’t. Just… stop crying over him, okay?” he says, “Mark is an idiot, he’s not worth crying over.”

A small giggle leaves your lips, “you sound like a girl right now,”

-Day 61

(12:12AM) Mark: hey babe

(12:12AM) Mark: johnny just talked to me about what happened

(12:13AM) Mark: can we talk?

(12:45AM) You: okay

(12:45AM) Mark: great, I’ll call you

(12:45AM) You: no

(12:46AM) You: we’ll text

(12:46AM) You: here

You just know that you would be a sobbing mess once you hear Mark’s voice.

(12:46AM) Mark: oh

(12:46AM) Mark: okay

(12:46AM) Mark: youre okay tho

(12:47AM) Mark: right

(12:52AM) You: mhm

(12:52AM) Mark: that’s great um

(12:52AM) Mark: i didn’t know you were feeling that way

(12:53AM) Mark: i’ve been so busy lately i forgot to text or call you

(12:53AM) Mark: and that is not your fault at all

(12:53AM) Mark: i shouldn’t be acting like that in the first place

(12:54AM) Mark: its just really hard with timezones and everything

(12:54AM) Mark: especially with the comeback and all

(12:54AM) You: what are you saying mark?

(12:55AM) Mark: what?

(12:58AM) You: are you breaking up with me?

(12:58AM) Mark: wat? no. what.

(12:58AM) You: wait so we’re not breaking up?

(12:58AM) Mark: what

(12:58AM) Mark: no of course not what are you saying?

(12:59AM) You: I DON’T KNOW

(12:59AM) You: i thought you wanted to break up

(12:59AM) Mark: no I don’t want to what the fuck

(12:59AM) You: so we’re good now right?

-Day 51

Soft melodies were playing in the background while the both of you were doing different things.

You were sitting on your chair, your elbows pressing painfully against your desk, working on your homework diligently. Your phone was perched on your lamp, making sure Mark could see your face.

Your boyfriend was laying on his bed with a notebook laying in front of him, a pen in his hand while he thought of lyrics. He had his legs swinging back and forth behind him cutely.

You exhale loudly as you re-read the same question over and over again.

Mark immediately looks up, “you okay?”

You hum without even looking at him before you continued doing your work.

Mark decides to leave you alone as to not distract you. He rests his cheek against his arm as he tries to think of another sentence to finish the song he was working on.

His eyes slowly dart towards you who had their eyebrows furrowed cutely, a pout plastered on your lips, baby hairs littering against your forehead and cheeks.

Without even realising, a small smile spreads across Mark’s lips. His breath slows down as he relaxed and stares at your figure.

Multiple sentences that could be used as lyrics flooded through his head. He quickly sits up to write the flood of inspiration that was bursting through his veins.

-Day 43

(2:53AM) boyfie: duuudee!!

(2:53AM) boyfie: vlive!!

(2:53AM) boyfie: quick!!!!!

(3:15AM) You: omg ok give me a sec

(3:15AM) You: I just woke up

With a yawn, you open the vlive app and click on the NCT127 page to enter the live your boyfriend was doing.

‘Hi’ you type in the comment section. You stare at your boyfriend, scanning his facial expression to notice your comment.

Exactly 5 seconds later, a huge grin spreads across his lips as he looks up at the camera to wave.

It eased you to know that he was waving at you, for you. Maybe you were being selfish, but you were glad that Mark was yours. Although it does get on your nerves when you see your friends post about how much he loves your boyfriend.

‘mark is so handsome’ you typed.

Unfortunately, Mark didn’t notice your comment, but Donghyuck did. Donghyuck nudges your boyfriend, who immediately responded, turning to look at him.

His friend showed him your comment, which your boyfriend immediately smiles to.

‘I love mark lee so much!!!’

A few seconds later Mark creates a small heart at the camera before looking away with crimson red cheeks.

-Day 38

“So you and Mina, huh?” you say bitterly, rolling your eyes.

You were referring to the interaction between the two when Mina was leaving music bank. You might’ve been slightly jealous of the chemistry between the two, especially when all the fans would ship the both of them.

Mark can only watch you in amusement, a small smile playing along his lips.

“Is she better than me?” you say sarcastically, clicking your tongue,

You envied their friendship. Someone who was merely a friend was able to see your boyfriend so easily.

His face softens, “you know she’s not like that, baby,” his tone was soft, easy to persuade you.

Baby. You wanted to scoff at that. He only used that term when he was trying to win your heart.

You huff, crossing your arms violently. “You’re always with her!”

He chuckles, looking down at his phone before looking back up at you quickly.

You pout at the boy through the screen, “you love me more, right Mark?”

He sarcastically rolls his at your question. What kind of question was that?

His face scrunches in disgust, “Firstly, I don’t even love Mina that way, babe,” he tells you, “and secondly, the only person I love you, alright? So stop being jealous you wimp.”

“Wimp?” you scoff, “and you’re my boyfriend?”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

Just as you were about to respond to him, your phone vibrated with a notification. You look down and gaped.

_happiness_o wants to send you a message.

“Mark…”

You unlocked your phone to see the message that Mina was trying to send you.

“You told her?!” you exclaimed, looking up at your boyfriend who was stifling his laughter. “Mark! Why would you do that?!” you whine, throwing your phone next to you.

“In my defence, I didn’t tell her to send you a text,” he says, “I was just talking about how cute you were being!”

-Day 22

You were laying on your side, deep in a slumber while Mark stares at you lovingly.

Your cheek pressed cutely against your pillow which made your lips pout cutely. The little pieces of hair adorning your temples and cheeks only made Mark want to push it back against your ear. Something he would do every time you were sleeping with him.

He suddenly got an idea and fishes out his phone, searching a filter that he had saved for this particular moment.

He clicks on the filter, waiting for it to load for a moment, before adjusting the angle so the filter could scan his face properly. Once he was sure it won’t budge, he presses record.

‘your soulmate is sleeping right now’

A sad smile adorns his lips, looking at you through the screen. He flips the camera, zooming into your sleeping form then ending the video.

Mark was quite hesitant to post it since he was never the type to post about his relationship with you. But these past few days has been hitting him differently.

He missed you so much, he swore he could go crazy. He had spent another unreasonable amount on you again. He couldn’t even sleep because you were always stuck on his mind.

He bit his lip anxiously before posting the video on his Instagram story. He noticed how your phone vibrated right when it was uploaded— you had his notifications on.

-Day 15

“So it’s gonna be forever~” you sing loudly, pointing your hairbrush to Mark who was laughing loudly through the screen.

“Or it’s gonna go down in flames…” he sings off tune.

While you were busy singing and dancing from all Taylor Swift’s song, Mark had stealthily recorded you with his phone to upload them on his private Instagram.

‘idiot. But my idiot’ he captioned before tagging you and posting it on his page.

“Sing with me, Mark!” you shout, looking at your boyfriend. “Cherry lips, crystal skies, I could show you incredible things,” you sang, pointing at Mark.

Your boyfriend blushes when he realizes you were singing to him.

You cough loudly before clearing your throat after blaring out lyrics to Taylor swift. You reach for your cup of water before gulping it down.

“What song should we sing to next?” you ask, scrolling down through you and Mark’s playlist. The both of you had shared one account ever since he found out the both of you shared the same music taste.

“Should we do a rap?” he suggests.

You smirk up at him, “oooh, because you’re a rapper, huh? Okay, okay.”

You thumb press on ‘Beauty and a Beat’ by Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj.

“I’m a better rapper than you, Mark Lee,” you shout at your boyfriend before rapping to Nicki Minaj’s part.

It was so adorable at how you stumbled over some words, or when you had your eyebrows furrowed trying to rap to the lyrics.

At this moment, Mark thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world. You had your hair tied up in the ugliest bun he has ever seen, but you looked so adorable, especially in the huge t-shirt you were wearing. But most importantly, the huge grin plastered on your lips and tint of red adorning your cheeks, puts a smile on Mark’s face.

Right when the song has ended, you let out a tired sigh, lying against your bed.

“Am I better than you, Markie?”

He bit back a smile and nodded, “you should replace me in NCT, babe,”

You pretend to think, “I should, shouldn’t I?”

-Day 7

You were talking about Mark about your friend who had pissed you off earlier today.

He shrugs, “honestly, I saw that coming. I never liked her,”

You groan, throwing your head back, “I know right,” you stress, “I should’ve listened to you,”

Mark rests his cheek against his palm, “so what are you going to do?”

You pout, “I don’t know. What should I do, Mark?”

Your boyfriend hums, thinking for a while, “I think it’s best if you cut her off. She doesn’t deserve you, babe.”

You let out an aspirated sigh, frowning. “she was just a close friend…” you trailed off sadly.

“I know, baby,” he coos, “but your mental health is important too.”

Your eyes widen cutely, “I love you,”

That caught your boyfriend off-guard, his eyes widen in awe. “w-what, don’t be weird!” he sputters out.

“You’re weird!” you bite back.

-Day 3

“Mark,” you call out, your boyfriend immediately humming. “I learnt a new tiktok dance,”

He raises his eyebrows. He has never downloaded Tiktok but he knows how much you love the app. Most of the time the both of you were calling, you would be scrolling through the app, sending him links of videos that you found funny.

It was a secret: Mark never actually watches the video. But you do not need to know that.

“Show me, baby,”

You stood up, adjusting your laptop in a decent position. You reach for your phone to play the music before you started dancing.

Mark recognized the song as Savage. It was a song that Taeyong would constantly play.

Your boyfriend’s eyes widen in bewilderment, amazed at how good you were at dancing.

“Woah, woah,” he gapes when you started throwing back.

When the song ended, you ambled towards your laptop, “how was it? Was I good? Was I as good as Taeyong and Johnny?”

He rolls his eyes at that, “do you do it to other people?”

“What?”

“The throwing back thing,”

Ah. He was jealous.

You shrug, looking away from his intense gaze, “I don’t know. I was planning to ask some of my friends about their opinion.”

“Y/N,” he says sternly.

“I was joking! Jeez. You’re such a party pooper.”

-Day 2

You laid on your side, your arm supporting your head. A movie was playing on your laptop screen but you could only stare at Mark’s face.

He was busy laughing at one of the scenes but you couldn’t focus from his handsome face.

He was wearing the ugly black glasses that he chose a few weeks ago, but he still looked so good in your eyes. His black hair was styled messily from laying around.

“Babe, are you watching?” his eyes widen cutely after sensing how quiet you were being.

“I am,” you mumble out, but your eyes never leaved your boyfriend’s screen.

“Okay,” he whispers, resting his body as he continued watching the movie that was played on the screen.

At this moment in time, you wanted to tell Mark how much you love him. You wanted to smother him in kisses.

“Mark,” you called. You realise how he had paused the movie that was playing to listen to you. “I love you,” you tell him.

Mark was frozen for a second, confused yet flustered by your sudden confusion. He smirks, playing the movie, “weirdo. I love you too, you cutie.”

-Day 1

(11:01PM) bub: babyyyy hiiiii

(11:01PM) bub: wanna call ;)

(11:05PM) bub: hello why r u not replying

(11:05PM) bub: it’s only 11 there

(11:10PM) bub: I know youre not asleep babe

(11:10PM) bub: arghhh

(11:10PM) bub: are you asleep????

(11:10PM) bub: :(

(11:10PM) bub: well ok gn bb I’ll talk to you tmr

(11:10PM) bub: love youuuu

D-DAY

You were laying on Mark’s bed restlessly, waiting for your boyfriend to reach his dorm. When you heard the door unlock, a grin spread across your lips when you saw your boyfriend walk in.

“Hi Mark,” you greet, waving at your boyfriend.

Mark looks up at you and nods, “hi y/n,” he says back before turning the other way to go to the bathroom.

You bit back a smile quietly, giving him a minute to realise. You quietly stood up by the bed to amble towards your boyfriend.

“Wait,” he pauses, turning around slowly, his eyes widening at the sight of you walking up to him, “w-what? Is this real? y/n?”

You smile at him, spreading your arms, waiting for him to tackle you in a hug. “I’m here, baby.”

“Oh my god,” he breathes out before rushing towards you to pull you against his chest. “You’re here, oh my god,”

You rest your head on his chest, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. You’ve missed the moment for so long. For more than 3 months, you had to live without Mark’s presence.

He pulls you away, his hand gripping your shoulder tightly. “How— what are you doing here?!” he exclaims.

Your cheeks were hurting from smiling so much, “to see you, of course!”

“You surprised me!” he exclaims, pulling you in for another hug, “oh my god, you scared me so much, I love you so much. When did you get here? You didn’t answer my texts yesterday!”

“I love you too and I was in the plane, I couldn’t text you back,” you reply, however your voice was muffled by the black cotton shirt he was wearing. You pull away, looking up at him, “are you not going to kiss me?” you asked abruptly.

He looks down at you with wide eyes, “w-what. That is so sudden, don’t say that!” he stutters out, looking away from you.

You pout at him, wrapping your arms around his neck, “what? I came all the way here, didn’t get enough sleep just to see my boyfriend but he won’t kiss me?”

He scowls at you, his arm dropping to rest around your waist. He leans down to connect both your lips. You felt your heart spark when you felt his lips graze against yours.

You didn’t even realise you were pulling him down even more to kiss him deeper. Mark’s grip on your waist tightened, pulling you even closer.

“Ah, the kids have finally met,” you heard someone say from behind you two.

Mark and you pull away breathlessly, his lips tinted a bright shiny red. The both of you turn around to see Taeil standing at the door.

Your boyfriend whines, “Go away, Hyung,”

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