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lady-pug · 8 months ago

Text

Written Between the Lines

Chapter II - We Shall Find Our Answers

Summary: You and your family return to King’s Landing after several years, and you are dreading having to face your uncle again. While you cannot change the past, maybe the lines on his palm can show some insight into your future. And maybe, just maybe, the future might be bright for the two of you.

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Word count: 5,5k

Warnings: canon-typical incest (uncle-niece)

Notes: Pssst. Hey, you. I’m back. And I bring thee the continuation of this story, which I had a lot of fun writing. I intend on writing more for this little universe, so if you've liked this story so far, please consider staying tuned for more parts to come!

Just for clarification, I don’t understand much about the rules and laws of monarchy, but since this is my story and I’m already saying ‘screw canon’, we’re also gonna say ‘fuck tradition’ (and if any of the characters, especially Aemond, seem a bit ooc I deeply apologize, I’m just trying very hard to Bob-The-Builder the events of the show)

Also, I have purposefully left the question of the reader’s father somewhat ambiguous so there can be more leeway for the reader’s appearance to be undescribed.

Thank you so so much for reading and I hope you have enjoyed this story! <3

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It had been several years since you had last stepped foot in King’s Landing. Not since the death of your aunt and father. Or fathers. Which meant you hadn’t seen Aemond since that fateful night in Driftmark. You’d been by his side in an instant once Luke had shaken you awake wailing like a babe that he had done something terrible. You had held his hand as the maester tended to his wound, much to his mother’s grief. She had even tried pushing you away from her son, but his hand held tightly around yours prevented you from going too far. He had wanted, no, needed the comfort of your presence. But that all changed when Jace explained what had transpired, what he had called your younger brothers and, by extension, yourself. You had dropped his hand as if it burned, feeling more betrayed than ever, not missing the way your hurt was reflected in his own eyes. Well, eye. He had tried to talk to you after everyone had been excused but you fled from him, not wanting to face him just yet. Perhaps never again, you had thought at the time.

Now a grown woman, you returned to King’s Landing once more, summoned by the court for a hearing in which Ser Vaemond Velaryon intended to question Lucerys legitimacy as heir to Driftmark (which he was in for a surprise as your mother did not intend to pass Driftmark down to Luke, but to Jacaerys instead, as previously discussed and agreed with your grandparents, Lord Corlys and Princess Rhaenys, while she would name you, her firstborn, as heir to the Iron Throne after her). So it’s no surprise you were not looking forward to this visit at all.

While you had kept in contact with Helaena through exchanged ravens, you hadn’t once written to Aemond, nor had he done so to you. You were dreading the moment you had to see him again, as you didn’t know how he would react to seeing you after the way you left things off in the past. In reality… you missed him. You missed having someone to talk to, someone who truly cared about what you had to say, who shared similar interests to you and enjoyed the diverging ones all the same. You missed your study partner, as Jace’s high valyrian was incredibly subpar, leaving him far behind you in his studies. You simply missed having him.

The first moment you had laid eyes on him had been, unsurprisingly, in the courtyard. You’d been following after your brothers as they explored what had changed and what hadn’t around the Keep, trying to ensure they didn’t get into any trouble, when you noticed a small crowd forming around two men engaged in a heated training match. One was none other than Ser Criston Cole, who hadn’t aged a single day but looked like the stick up his ass had slipped even further in, and the other…

You couldn’t help but stare, oblivious to anything else around you. He had grown quite a lot in the years you’d been apart. He was taller, his shoulders pulled back and his head held high, no longer the timid, self-conscious boy you’d once known. Where Ser Criston was strong Aemond was fast, his tall frame and lithe shape allowing for a more fast paced combat, his movements sharp yet swift and even somewhat… graceful.

“You should clean up, right there.” you snapped out of your reverie, brought back to focus by your brother Jace, who motioned to the corner of his own mouth with a smirk hanging from his lips “You’re drooling.”

Feeling a warm flush on your cheeks you swiped the back of your hand across your mouth, finding nothing there, as Jace chuckled at your naivety and moved to join the crowd along with Luke.

Little cunt.

You followed after your brothers just as Aemond had his sword pointed right at Ser Criston’s neck. You couldn’t quite hear what they were saying, only catching the tail end of their conversation.

“Have you come to train?” he had been saying, his eye trained on Luke, some underlying darkness swirling in it, before his gaze finally met you and something shifted in it almost imperceptibly “Little niece.”

The way he said it, the use of the once mocking title, left you reeling. The tone he used made it so you couldn’t quite tell if he had been sneering at you or in awe at your presence, if he was jesting or quite serious, mocking or sincere.

But your musings were interrupted by the gates opening, Ser Vaemond walking in as if he owned the place. Or like he was owed something from this place. It seemed your dreaded reunion with your uncle would have to wait.

As much as you hated being back in King’s Landing you couldn’t deny this place did manage to keep you entertained. The hearing had gone as well as one could expect, with Ser Vaemond hurling one insult after another at both you, your brothers and your mother and ultimately losing his head for it. All was well with your family, Jace’s claim to Driftmark and his status as future Lord of the Tides and your own as heir to the Iron Throne after your mother had been reaffirmed by the King himself, backed by your grandmother.

During the whole hearing you couldn’t help but glance at Aemond from the corner of your eye every once in a while. He had a self-satisfied smirk plastered on his face all throughout Vaemond’s speech, the bastard, but once your mother mentioned her desire to establish you as her heir to the Throne something changed. His gaze met yours and his face softened, the smugness disappearing all together from his features.

It was the last you saw of him, having taken off to the courtyard to relish in the diminishing sun as it lowered in the sky by sitting under the weirwood tree. Jace and Luke were enjoying a stroll around the Keep with their respective betrotheds, occasionally passing by your peripheral vision.

“I thought I’d find you here.” a voice cut through the air, souring your mood.

“Have you come to question my legitimacy as well, uncle?” you asked Aemond, who stood in front of you with his hands behind his back, before nodding in your brother’s direction as they skirted the edge of the courtyard “Be careful not to speak too loudly, we wouldn’t want you to lose yet another eye, now, would we?”

The smallest twitch of his eye was the only indication that he was bothered by what you said. You knew it was low, and you did feel a twinge of guilt about it, but the hurt you’d been cultivating for him since that night was festering in your heart.

“Always the jester, little niece.” he smirked, taking a seat next to you, keeping you on his good eye’s side.

“Only for you.”

You both fell silent, the air around charged with years of tension built between the two of you.

“I haven’t heard from you in ages.” he spoke softly, facing forward.

“You didn’t write.” you jabbed.

“You didn’t either.”

He had you there.

“Helaena’s told me of your travels.” he tried again “You’ve visited quite a lot of places.”

“I wanted to see the realm.” you explained, feeling some of the tension dissipating as he extended an opportunity for you opened up “To learn the ways of the people we are to rule.”

He only hummed in response.

“And what about you?” you turned to him, noticing how his body seemed to instinctively turn towards you as well “How have you been faring?”

“Oh, you know.” he shrugged, nonchalantly “I have been busy, studying, training with a sword, as you’ve very well seen,” the smirk that formed on his face was enough to bring heat to your cheeks “and trying to stop Aegon from drowning in his cups every night.”

A giggle escaped from your lips, which in turn prompted a small grin from him. This moment, right here with him, felt like before; it felt freeing. The full weight of how much you had missed him hit you like a Vhagar-sized carriage.

A moment of silence passed before he turned somber again.

“My mother has deemed it time for me to find a wife.” he spoke slowly, his words making something twist painfully in your chest “She’s been trying to find matches for me in some of the noble houses. But none of the ladies in court will even look at me.”

He cast his gaze down and away from you, his stoic demeanor cracking for a moment and giving way to a forlorn expression. It seemed… awfully familiar to you.

“I frighten them. Not just them, the maids too.” his voice was soft, resignation dripping from his words, the prideful man you saw earlier in the yard taking a step back to allow the shy and insecure boy you once knew to make a reappearance “I think your lines have lied to you. No lady would ever want a one-eyed husband.”

“Aemond-”

“I told you once before, I don’t appreciate your pity, niece.” his tone hardened, but it lacked venom, meaning he wasn’t angry with you, rather upset at himself.

You could only wonder how much the events of that night had changed him, for better and worse. He might argue that he had claimed a dragon, the biggest in the world, so that made things even but you could only imagine the kind of pain, both physical and emotional, he had gone through since then.

“For what is worth” you started, raising a hand to his face very slowly, giving him more than enough time to halt your movements. He flinched at first but eventually relaxed, allowing you to lay your hand on his cheek, your thumb rubbing softly against the end of his scar “I am truly sorry for what happened that night. You didn’t deserve any of it.”

His hand raised, grasping your wrist and running his own thumb on the skin at the edge of your sleeve.

“What I said that night,” he closed his eye for a moment then looked at you again “it was unbefitting. I never meant to hurt you.” he paused, inhaling deeply before exhaling slowly, as if he was letting go of a lifetime of weight he’d been carrying “No more than I believe Lucerys meant to hurt me as badly as he did.”

It was an olive branch, you realized. Given how he now carried himself it was the closest thing to an apology you’d get. While he might not simply ever forgive your brother, he was willing to try and put it behind him, to let go of the pain, for you. And for that you’d forever be grateful to him. He tilted his head to the side, letting his lips linger on your palm for just a moment, before pulling your hand away from his face and carefully placing it on your lap again, both of you facing forward once more.

The silence that fell was not an uncomfortable one. It reminisced of the days you’d sit together in this same spot and wait for the servants to come fetch you when it was time for supper. But every nice moment had to be broken at some point.

“My grandsire and mother believe Aegon should be named my father’s heir.” he spoke after a moment, your head quickly snapping to look at him.

“What?”

“They believe that, as his firstborn son, he would have a better claim to the throne.” he glanced at you “That most lords would support him if it came to it.”

You were baffled by this revelation, even though you shouldn’t really be all that surprised. Otto Hightower was a cunt who would do anything in his power to have his own blood sit on the Iron Throne. As much as your mother resented her former friend you’d come to the conclusion that Otto had been the one responsible to sway Alicent against her. It shouldn’t come as a surprise he would be plotting against her. That’s why the man was smug about today’s hearing, and why his face promptly fell once Rhaenys made her support of Jacaerys, and by extension your mother, known. But…

“Why are you telling me this?” you questioned, confused as to why Aemond, the dutiful son, would tell on his family like that.

An amused grin, almost resembling a smirk, took over his features, his eye turned away from you.

“New information has come to light regarding the line of succession.”

Your heart clenched, a smile of your own appearing on your face. He recognized you as heir to the Throne, as a future queen.

His smile, however, slowly slipped from his face, leaving a sad look in its wake.

“What troubles you, uncle?” you asked.

“I just-” he sighed, almost exasperated “I just do not understand how they could possibly believe Aegon of all people fit to be king. He, who disappears every fortnight for the Street of Silk, who’s barely ever sober during the day. He, who has his way with the servants while his own wife exists silently, he who, dare I say, barely understands a word of high valyrian and the importance of our family to the realm.”

His rant left him slightly breathless, as if he had been suppressing those feelings for a very long time. And although he had not dared say it, you heard the hidden meaning behind his words. If he, now a grown man, was anything like he was as a boy, he was much more suited to be king than his brother was. He was probably well studied in both history and philosophy, he knew his way quite well around a sword, as you’d seen, and he’d kept up with his lessons in high valyrian, like you had. He would make for a fine king, if it weren’t for your mother and, eventually, you.

And then it hit you.

Otto Hightower would do anything in his power to have his own blood sit on the Iron Throne.

“Give me your hand.” you spoke firmly.

Aemond looked at you quizzically, taking too slow to comply so you forcefully grabbed his hand in yours, his palm facing upwards.

“Not this again.” he said, bemused.

As you ran your finger delicately over his palm, you took your time noticing the way calluses adorned the skin, once soft under your touch, probably from years of dragon riding and intense sword training.

“Your line of life is still quite long, good.” you heard his scoff, although it sounded quite like a barely contained laugh “It means the Stranger will not come for you for quite a while still.”

His eye was trained on you as traced another line on his hand.

“And your line of heart still tilts upwards, so you will marry a woman who loves you dearly.”

You spoke with so much conviction, squeezing his hand, your eyes finally glancing up, locked firmly onto his own as you said it.

“She’ll love and cherish you for everything that you are, unwaveringly and unapologetically. You’ll be hers as much as she’ll be yours.”

His eyes shone with barely contained hope, before you averted your gaze back to his palm.

“And here,” you pointed to a small line near the bottom of his palm “is the line of the king. It appears only on the hands of those who are destined to rule over the realm.”

His smile wavered, but didn’t falter.

“You are jesting again, niece.”

“I am not.” you shook your head, determined “The lines have never lied before, remember?” you mentioned, and he couldn’t argue with that, as the prediction you’d spoke of last time you found yourselves in this exact situation came true barely a few weeks afterwards “You will be king, Aemond.”

You stood up quickly, barely brushing the skirts of your dress as you did.

“I’ll make sure of it.”

You took off before he could question you, rushing out of the courtyard in search of your mother. You had a matter most important you needed to discuss with her, one you’d already brought up with her many moons ago, but which at the time felt more like a distant childish dream.

Aemond hadn’t spoken to you again until it was time for supper. He had caught a quick glimpse of you sometime after you left the courtyard, speaking in hushed whispers with your mother while Daemon looked thoroughly vexed. But before he could approach you and inquire about your sudden departure earlier, both you and your mother took off to one of your chambers, he assumed, leaving his uncle to stare murderously at him. While Aemond wasn’t frightened by Daemon, he would even go as far as to say he admired the man, something about the way he was staring at him deeply unsettled him, so he decided to leave and wait for a better opportunity to speak to you, alone.

Now, during what surely was to be one awkward meal, he could see you from the other side of the table where you sat next to Baela. You looked positively radiant, smiling with your step-sisters and occasionally jesting with your brothers. From time to time you’d catch his eye, your smile turning mirthful, as if you knew something he didn’t. More than once throughout the night he caught you and Rhaenyra sharing a small, quick nod to one another, and Daemon rolling his eyes whenever he also noticed it.

After King Viserys congratulated Jacaerys and Lucerys on their betrothals, Jace leaned over Baela and whispered something to you. While he looked sullen, Baela had a small understanding smile as you tried to sooth him. His face softened as you grasped his hands, trying to reassure him of something, Baela supporting you quietly. The overjoyed smile that took over your features as Jace nodded lit something in Aemond’s chest, his heart skipping a beat.

At a certain point, after the King’s speech and Rhaenyra and Alicent’s toasts, Aegon got up and leaned over to “whisper” something to Baela, catching the attention of all those around her. Aemond couldn’t hear what his brother said all the way from his side of the table, but whatever it was Jacaerys looked like he was about to drive a dagger through him. But you and your sharp words were quicker.

“At least he can stay sober long enough to get it up.” you spoke, your voice loud enough for the entire room to hear “Can Helaena say the same about you, uncle?”

Several reactions could be heard around the table. Helaena herself snorted into the wine she had been sipping, Daemon laughed loudly from his place at Rhaenyra’s side and even a small, tired chuckle could be heard leaving the King’s mouth. Aemond couldn’t help but smirk as his brother all but crumbled back in his seat, a frown unveiling his embarrassment.

Jace took his time toasting both his uncles but there was something… different in the way he addressed each of them. Whereas Aegon’s name was said with mocking admiration and contempt, Jace’s tone as he said Aemond’s name was laced with quiet resignation. And the tiny grin he directed at Aemond took him by surprise.

Helaena, a little bit tipsy at this hour, also took the opportunity to congratulate Rhaena and Baela in their betrothals, also taking a jab at Aegon’s already wounded pride. While he felt his chest fill with pride for his sister, Aemond couldn’t help but notice the moment you shared with your mother once again, the questioning look on her face and the determined nod you gave as answer to whatever question you found in the depth of her eyes.

“Speaking of marriage,” Rhaenyra started as she stood up and turned to face the seats of his father, mother and grandsire “my only daughter is now of marrying age as well.”

Aemond felt something twist painfully in his chest at the thought, turning his eye to glance at you and was surprised to find you already looking at him, the corners of your lips turned up in a soft grin.

“I would like to make a proposition.” your mother continued, turning to look at him, bringing his attention back to her. He felt his heartbeat increase as she stared at him for a moment longer, some heat climbing to his cheeks, before she turned to address his family once again, her eyes locked onto Alicent “I would like to propose we wed her to your second son, Prince Aemond.”

He barely registered anything else over the thunderous flow of blood against his eardrums, reflecting on the speed at which his traitorous heart was beating in his chest. He glanced back at you, watching as you smiled warmly at him. Something in him just felt right. He felt as if everything was falling into place within his life.

Aemond had never let himself want. He realized quite early in his life that he would only ever be the second son, and considering how much his father favored Rhaenyra over any other of his other children, he didn’t really matter much in comparison to his siblings. So he had learned never to wish for anything for himself, he had never dared hope that good things would come to him. And now here you were, the only one who has ever truly cared for him, offering something he never allowed himself to dream of.

“And” Rhaenyra continued, drawing his attention back to her. There was more? What else could she possibly offer that could be worth more than that? He allowed himself a quick glimpse at Daemon, who once again looked bothered by what she was about to say “once I have come to pass and it is time for her to take over as Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, he would be crowned king alongside with her. He would be not a prince, nor king consort, but a true king. They would rule as equals, and eventually their children would sit in the Iron Throne after them.”

What?

As soon as the words were out of her mouth his mind simply ceased to work. They were thinking of… what? His head quickly snapped to look at his family, wanting to gauge their reactions as well and assess if they were just as confused as he felt.

His father was positively delighted at the prospect of uniting his fractured family once more. His mother, on the other hand, looked irked at Rhaenyra for having sprung this proposition in front of Viserys, as he’d obviously agree, and she wasn’t looking forward to having a possible bastard as her son’s wife (even if she knew he once cared deeply for you). And his grandsire… he looked conflicted. Otto Hightower wasn’t an easy man to read, but he had been so caught by surprise that he was wearing all his emotions on his sleeve. While he, like Alicent, seemed bothered by the timing of this proposal, he also looked… intrigued?

“We were thinking of passing Dragonstone down to Aegon and keeping both Aemond and my daughter here in King’s Landing so they can learn with me and the council the ways of ruling, so they are well prepared when it comes their time to rule.”

“And what of Lucerys?” Alicent questioned warily.

“He would live in Driftmark with Jace, learning the ways of salt and sea, in hopes of one day becoming my, and later his sister’s, Master of Ships.” Rhaenyra completed.

Silence ruled over the room for a moment, nobody daring to utter a word. Not even the servants, watching from the corners, made a single sound.

“And who was the one” Viserys spoke slowly, getting more tired as the night progressed “behind such a wonderful idea?”

“I-” your mother started, but Daemon quickly cut her off.

“The girl did.” he nodded his head towards you, a smug smile growing on his lips at the prospect of possibly throwing you under the carriage.

Aemond’s head snapped towards you, your smile never wavering. So that’s what you had been speaking to Rhaenyra all day. After your talk in the courtyard, you’d gone off to find your mother, to express your wishes not only to marry Aemond, but to also make him king. Just like the lines on his palm told you. But… why?

“And just what” Otto questioned, as if reading his grandson’s mind “has led the princess to decide to break hundreds of centuries of tradition and wish to share the Throne?”

Rhaenyra turned back to you, sending a silent question in your direction yet again. You shook your head and stood up, as if deciding to face the judgment of the Hightowers all by yourself.

“While my family has resided in Dragonstone for the past few years, my lord,” you started, an eloquence that indicated you’d been preparing, and maybe even rehearsing, this speech in your mind for a while “I have taken to flying around the realm on dragonback, visiting all of the Seven Kingdoms. I’d wished to see for myself and understand the people I’d one day rule over. However, being away from King’s Landing for so long also means I am not versed in the matters of court. Prince Aemond, on the other hand,” oh, how sweet your voice sounded when you said his name accompanied by his title “has lived his entire life here in the Red Keep. He’s been in these halls, around the lords and ladies of court, for quite a while and knows how such matters are supposed to work. I believe our knowledge combined will give us the strength, as a unity, required to rule over the realm together and establish a peaceful and prosperous reign.”

A sigh escaped your lips as you paused, your expression souring.

“And” you chuckled mirthlessly, your previously warm smile falling to a resigned one “I am a woman. The lords of the noble houses of Westeros may support my mother’s claim as they have sworn an oath to his grace, the King, but many of them are already of advanced age and may soon come to perish, some have already died even. While most of these houses are righteous and their sons and grandsons will likely honor their ancestors' wishes and support me as my mothers heir, there is no telling what will happen. They might not take kindly to yet another woman ruling over the realm, and especially one they didn’t technically agree on. So as much as I loathe to admit it, having a man by my side, supporting me as an equal, would strengthen my claim and prevent anyone from questioning me as queen.”

It made sense, all of it. Change as impactful as this tends to happen over time, not all at once, and it was known the men of the realm would not so easily accept a woman on the Iron Throne, something Aemond knew his grandsire was counting on to bring Aegon to power eventually, so it was a smart move to have a husband at your side. Your arguing was solid, and Otto Hightower seemed to agree as he reclined back on his seat, somewhat impressed.

Alicent, however, looked like she still wasn’t satisfied with your answer.

“And why would you wish to marry my son?” she questioned, her tone stern.

Your smile faltered briefly, betraying your confusion.

“Why, your grace, I believe I have already explained-”

“No,” she cut you off “you’ve explained why this union would be beneficial for you as a representative of the Crown. I want to know why you wish to marry him. You could have any man in the realm, hells, there have been rumors that Cregan Stark himself has requested an audience in Dragonstone, possibly to request a courtship for your hand.” That was before anyone knew Rhaenyra planned on making you her heir and it was believed you’d inherit nothing at all, Aemond caught himself thinking “So why do you want to marry Aemond?”

That had him leaning forward in his seat. He knew, logically, this marriage stemmed from convenience. He knew he, and you as well, were mere pawns in your family’s schemes. But he couldn’t help but wonder if there was something more behind your proposal. Even if it was just a political move, he would have accepted in a heartbeat but he dared to wish, no, hope that you actually wanted this, that you wanted him.

“I…” you fumbled for a moment, averting your gaze before steeling yourself, eyes locking with his mother’s once more “My uncle and I were close once, many years ago. We used to share a connection that has since been lost to time.”

You took a deep breath, as if preparing to reveal your deepest secrets to the whole family.

“I would like for us to get to know one another once more and go back to the way things were. Maybe even strengthen our bond.” you then turned to him, your eyes soft and warm and with the slightest of glimmer to them, as if you were willing yourself not to shed any tears “And I believe, with time, I could learn to love him dearly. I would love and cherish him for everything that he is, unwaveringly and unapologetically.” your lips trembled almost imperceptibly, so much so that had he not been paying close attention to you he’d have missed it “I’d be his as much as he’d be mine.”

Aemond felt his breath hitch, his heart hammering in his chest once more. He didn’t know what to think. This, right here, seemed so unreal. Deep down he knew this might just be the solution to everyone’s problems, it could be the very thing that mended the divide that had been growing inside of House Targaryen, but… could it be possible? Would his family agree?

“I believe this to be an amazing occasion.” the King spoke, looking happier than he’d been in a long while, before turning to his wife “Wouldn’t you agree?”

Alicent in turn looked to her father for answers and Aemond waited with bated breath for his response. Otto’s word was law in her eyes, Aemond knew, so he was the one who had final say in the matter. His answer came as a tiny nod and in that moment, as Aemond barely registered his mother’s next words, he had never been more grateful for his grandsire.

“I am inclined to agree that this will be a most blessed union.” Alicent said, her smile, always cold when it came to you, warming considerably.

“It’s settled then. Looks like we’ll have a wedding even sooner than expected.” Viserys then tapped his cane on the ground “Let us have some music.”

As the musicians started playing an animated melody, Aemond felt lighter than he had in years. He could hardly care for everyone around him, not even noticing anyone’s reaction to the news other than your own. With his eye focused solely on you he could see the relief settling in at his mother’s words as you beamed at him, more radiant than ever.

“Aemond, dear, why don’t you take your betrothed for a dance?”

He was out of his seat before Alicent could even finish her sentence, crossing the space between you in wide strides and extending a hand to you. You accepted gracefully. As you positioned yourselves to dance, you smiled bashfully at him, looking down at your feet, slightly embarrassed.

“I hope you can find it in you to forgive me for bringing this up all of a sudden, uncle.” you explained, looking back at him “I didn’t want to waste another moment and risk losing my chance.”

It was his turn to smile, not a smirk or a smug grin, a genuine smile.

“There is nothing to forgive, little niece.” the way he said the moniker this time, once used to mock you, was so filled with only affection and care that it almost brought tears to your eyes once again.

You danced for a few moments in silence, simply enjoying each other’s company. Then you leaned closer to him, as if wanting to share something privy to his ears alone.

“I told you once before, Aemond.” your smile turned into the tiniest of smirks “The lines don’t lie.”

His heart clenched at the memory, which seemed so distant yet so fresh in his mind. He tightened his grip around you, bringing your body even closer to his own, wanting to feel you close to him, genuinely happy for the first time in a long time.

“Indeed,” he whispered softly back to you, leaning his head against your own “I guess they truly don’t.”

And then everyone is happy, Rhaenyra and her family don’t leave for Dragonstone before dawn, meaning she’s there when Viserys goes to sleep forever, meaning she’s crowned Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, meaning the Greens don’t usurp the Throne, meaning the Dance never happened, meaning no one dies and everyone lives happily ever after, hurray!

(About Daemon's behavior, he’s not mad at reader or Rhaenyra, nor does he dislike reader in any way. He’s just resentful Rhaenyra hasn’t thought nor has she offered to what she does to Aemond in this story. And as we know, when these Targaryen boys are frustrated, they tend to lash out. Hope this clarifies some things!)

Tag List:

@callsignwidow

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x f!reader #aemond targaryen x fem!reader #aemond targaryen fic #aemond targaryen x velaryon!reader #aemond targaryen x targaryen!reader #aemond targaryen x niece!reader #house of the dragon #hotd fanfic

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yourinnerdemon · 4 months ago

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my leige... i beg of thee... a crumb of lord raiden content...?? perhaps with a dark goddess s/o?? (also im so glad there's still someone active in this site that writes for mk11, theres so little content of them nowadays :'(()

RAIDEN WITH A DARK GODDESS READER

𝔄/𝔑: Guess who crawled out of the gulag? Thats right me. And omg I posted, wild.

𝔓𝔞𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤'𝔰: Raiden x Dark Goddes!reader

𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: stupid stupid Raiden warning.

•Its one thing to get with Raiden but to be a Dark Goddess is another, I mean he’s usually just so stoic you just can believe that there’s someone to love under that façade.

•At first he would just think your evil, I mean Dark Goddess its in the name! Eventually he would learn more about you and what you do.

•It didn’t take long for him to be interested in you, the way you fight, the way you carry yourself and the way you worked. It was all so fascinating to him, he just couldn’t help asking you questions.

•Soon he found himself enamoured with you, the way you spoke to him and the way you looked at him. Its like you were doing it on purpose, as if you were trying to distract him from his duties. As if you were trying to make him drawn to you. Or maybe he just couldn’t help it, maybe it was him who was distracted by you, maybe it was him making himself drawn to you.

•Either way he just couldn’t stop thinking about you, no matter how many times he told himself that it was wrong and that you were evil something in him was saying that maybe you were not all that bad.

•He couldn’t understand what he was feeling, and because he is Raiden, and he does Raiden things he never told anyone what he was feeling. He was left with 2 options, keep this to himself for the rest of eternity or speak to you.

•For a while he just thought he could just keep this to himself, but the more he tried to distance himself from you the more he yearned for you.

•One day he just couldn’t take it anymore, it was his breaking point, and he finally decided to speak to you. He excepted the worse. For you to leave and turn around and never to look at him again.

•So you can imagine the shock on his face as you confessed that you loved him as well, that you admired him from afar but were too scared to say anything.

•He was mentally freaking out, mentally screaming, mentally thanking the Elder Gods that you loved him too.

•From there he decided too ask you out on a date and how could you say no to him? Just look at his thousand-year-old face, how loveable.

•In the end he finds you and your Dark presence enjoyable.

ℜ𝔢𝔟𝔩𝔬𝔤𝔰 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔦𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔡!

#mk11 raiden #lord raiden x reader #mk raiden #lord raiden #raiden x reader #raiden #mortal kombat 11 x reader #mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat x reader #mk11 #mk x reader #your inner demons are speaking!

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velvetwyrme · 1 month ago

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i beg (bug) of thee . .. more borrower au pleaze.

now you might be wanting more of the existing dynamic/s ive mentioned but @dubia-015 asked me about the other character concepts i hd in mind yesterday and then i sat down and went AHHHHHH into the void and it rewarded me with even more thoughts

yapping under the cut

please consider Ratchet thinking that the tiny person he helped out when he was still in medical school was a fever dream (too much coffee, not enough sleep). Only to get blindsided when a different tiny person shows up one day, loud and obnoxious but clearly worried about his friend who is injured, begging for Ratchet's help. And well, Ratchet doesn't know what to with the fact that Drift is REAL, but he DOES know what to do if someones bleeding out.

Or the flipside of that, Drift returning to his old house that he nearly died in, and finding out that the tiny man who helped him during that time is REAL and not a drug induced hallucination. If you want to get extra tasty with it, Drift almost stabs Ratchet, the blade THUNKING down in front of the borrower as Drift glares down at him. He wasn't even been looking, he just knew Ratchet was there. But as soon as Drift sees him his eyes widen and soften, as recognition finds him and he whispers... "Ratch?"

(I imagine he IMMEDIATELY panics and pulls the blade out because OH GOD HE NEARLY KILLED RATCHET) and can you tell i really want to draw this but also i really dont want to draw People.

And some other concepts!!

Borrower Brainstorm trying to one up human Perceptor while also trying to not be caught. He wants to be NOTICED and RECOGNIZED but he's meant to keep hidden but Perceptor is so brilliant he NEEDS to prove himself.

Human Whirl and his two tiny partners who he tries to scare off,,, or alternatively, Tailgate and Cyclonus and the borrower that they're luring into their home like a stray cat.

Borrower Skids pining fruitlessly over human Nautica!! Roommateless Swerve having a little borrower buddy in his walls who listens to him ramble. I can't decide who but my silly rarepair brain immediately went ULTRA MAGNUS because i have a soft spot for Swagnus hdjdhdjfbjd

And of course you can't forget tired veteran OP who has been passing messages with a mysterious stranger in the library who writes the most beautiful poetry and has a fresh new perspective on life, albeit one that is jaded, hardened by a life of being underfoot, downtrodden and struggling to survive day to do,,,,, like. Ghhhrghg.

im gonna fucking explode so you also get more thoughts abt the various versions ft the Constructicons, J/P and SW

Also if you go borrower!Soundwave and Prowl (Human Constructicons+Jazz) then you get the two of them working together somewhat begrudgingly at first- they have a working respect for each other that gives way to mutual appreciation for each other's logical prowess and intelligence, things that are required when trying to navigate a house filled w/ 5 rowdy guys. In that same version you have Rumble, Frenzy and their like. 8 dads. Since they're human, it's easier for the other humans to wrangle them but Soundwave and Prowl are the real powerhouses there who keep everyone in line.

In the one where the Constructicons are menacing J/P, they all slowly befriend Jazz first, who stays well out of the way of Prowl's investigations- he could tell him, but... this is the most fun he's seen Prowl have in a long time and it looks good on him. Also getting doted on by the pack of borrowers is a nice perk.

i literally cannot create fast enough to keep up w this. Also logically if I did anything I'd. probably cut down the amt of characters so I don't have to deak w/ as many interconnecting pieces but IN MY HEART OF HEARTS THIS IS THE DREAM

#inbox #borrower au #velwy.txt #transformers #thank u dubia for asking me abt the other character concepts i had in mind im dying even harder now ahfngbrkdn #ive Expanded some of them.#anyway idk who else to pair swerve with. ik swagnus is SO RARE OH SHIT MORE IDEAS HANG ON #toooo many options.#more.#TINY. RODIMUS. AND HUMAN THUNDERCLASH. Roddy is annoyed by how NICE and PERFECT this guy is surely there's gotta be a catch #and then he gets caught by him and HE IS NICE AND PERFECT.#Human Rewind. Borrower Chromedome. I don't have any ideas for that one I just want to flip the size dynamics I think it's fun.#i think thats enough.#youll see. my lvoe of rarepairs and strange dynamics shining through.#also take the dash of good ol megop because i cant figure out what to do with minimegs but im imagining human Megatron and borrower Minimus

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echantedtoon · 6 months ago

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Demonstober Day 5 Omukade

Ōmukade are monstrous mukade–centipedes (Scolopendra subspinipes) with dark bodies and bright orange legs and heads.

(If you don't know what Kokushibo looks like as an Omukade centaur like Yokai follow the link.

This is half inspired by a comic on Tumblr. Warnings for mentioned death and killing.)

Tagging: @lavenderdropp @six-eyed-samurai @trancylovecraft @cherrysuzaku

Remember if you want to be added to the spooktober taglist lemme know

Once long ago there was a very powerful shogun, and he married a beautiful woman. Together they were happy with no want for anything in their comfortable lives. Except for one thing.

A child.

Even though they tried for many years, they still went without children. One day the woman of the couple decided to take a long walk in the woods to try to forget about her troubles when she came across a mysterious healer.

"My lady, you seem quite troubled. Would you like to tell me?", the man offered.

"Why? You wouldn't even be able to help me. It's no use."

"Try me. I might surprise you."

"My husband is happy with life and we wish for nothing but a child however it seems that the gods do not seem to want to bless us with one."

"Oh. Is that all?", the healer laughed before reaching into the folds of his cloak and pulling out a small box which contained three seeds. *I have the exact solution. Take these flower seeds and plant them in your garden in a place only you'll know. One month from now on the night of the blue moon, three flowers will appear."

"What good will flowers do me?"

"They're blessed by the goddess of fertility," the man explained, "Of the three there will be three flowers. A white lotus, a red spider lily, and a black rose. If you eat the white lily you'll gain a son as pure and kind hearted as the heavens. If you eat the red spider lily you'll receive a son as fast and strong as the fiercest warrior. If you choose the black one you'll receive a son as smart as a hundred scholars! Eating any two of the three will result in twins with all the traits of both flowers!"

The woman was so pleased with her gift. It would be the solution to all her problems and she left with the seeds. However the healer gave her a grisly warning.

"These flowers are enchanted by magic no mortal body can handle so there's a limit to how much you can have without a blessing turning to a curse. Remember. You may only have up to TWO. Eating all three will have deadly consequences that even I don't know what could happen. Heed my warnings, My Lady. Or disaster will befall thee."

The woman promised to remember the warnings given to her and that night planted the seeds in a place only she knew about telling no one. A month later on the blue moon she went back out and found the three flowers the man spoke of. She had already decided to eat the lily and lotus, but at the last moment decided to eat all three. It was a blessing from the goddess of fertility after all. Nothing really bad could come from a blessing. And she wanted her children to have all the traits the flowers promised.

Against the healer's warnings, she swallowed the black rose petals right after the first two flowers. Sealing her fate by her foolish mistake.

Soon after the woman indeed fell with child. Twins. Both husband and wife were so happy and the entire countryside rejoiced with the news. Nothing truly was wrong and the woman forgot about the consequences of her actions. Until nine months later-

Her husband was called to battle, while away his wife delivered their children in the middle of the night. However the children born that night were not infants.

But horrible monsters from nightmares.

The woman screamed in fear and horror as the doctors looked on in shocked silence as the cursed infants cried out into the darkness. Both grotesque and disfigured. Monstrous and horrifying to look at.

One they say was born with horns like an oni and eight limbs like a slightly humified jurogumo. The other one was more horrible. Half it's body writhing and squirming like an upsidedown centipede and so many eyes that they were spinning in different directions at once. They cried but no one dared touch them or show them any empathy. Their own mother scrambled away and shrieked out in fear.

"Take them away!," she cried out, "Take them far away! I don't care what you do with them just take them far away and be rid of them! I'd rather have my husband think we suffered a loss than look upon these ugly things! No one shall tell him of this!"

One of the woman's most trusted servants placed the crying children in a chained basket and took them away that very same night. No one knew what became of them. They were never seen again. The maid never did return either. And the woman never told her husband what had happened. No one else who was there that night never dared repeat what they saw in fear of drawing the cursed creatures back to them.

However they say that they still roam the lands. And if you are unlucky enough, you shall be the next to run into such a horrible monster.

You didn't have any idea of the last time you weren't told what to do. From the moment you were born your entire life wasn't even yours.

"I no longer have need of your services."

"Is that right?"

It had been months since the time you met him. The man who wanted you but who you rejected because he was a monster. An evil monster who would only devour. And you were already spoken for. It was only the beginning really.

Ever since you were a little girl you've done everything right. As heiress and next in line you were prepared for only one thing and that was to become the perfect young lady. You think they resented you for not being born the strong male heir they wanted to have and instead would have to pick someone else from one of the other noble families to marry you and become their true heir. After all a woman in their eyes could never inherit their estate. Not like a man could. So you had done everything you could do to please them. You studied everything you could do to make yourself come off as a proper well bred lady. Learning to dance in those uncomfortable shoes, laugh at suitors' ridiculous jokes no matter how obnoxious they were, making yourself fond over men that your parents expressed interest in even if you hated their entire being, forcing yourself into those ridiculous dresses and make up because that's what you were expected to look like...

And yet it was NEVER good enough for them. Never good enough for anyone. All of your efforts only seemed to make them more angry of you even though you were doing more than they expected.

In the end they were so fed up with your existence that they made the choice to end your life, other than imprison you or vanish you they sold you off to the wealthiest man they could. Both would've been preferable fates, at least then you would've been free to stop pretending to be something else you weren't. And leaving you to be taken off in the back of a wagon as they carted you off like unwanted cargo. If you only hadn't been born in this family maybe nothing would've happened.

It was still better than marrying the destructive monster that kept plauging you in the night. Each night asking you for one thing-

"Give me your hand as my wife."

The same line over and over. Night after night. He asked you for the one thing that you knew if you accepted, you'd never get out. Better the monsters you knew than the monster you didn't. You once asked him why. Why did he want you when there was surely woman far more wealthy and willing and beautiful? His answer was always the same.

"We were lovers in another life. You died then but you're still mine. It just took me time to find you once more. Give me your hand once again as mine. Join me once more as you belong here in my arms, by my side, and continuing to love me."

You rejected him. It didn't matter what you were then, it's a new life and you had a duty to your parents, and you had a fiance now.

Perhaps you should've accepted because the destruction that followed you when the monster finally reared itself to show in the moonlight and attacked your wagon transport...it was something out of hell.

But now you sat here in what remained of the crumbling mansion and just stared blankly at him. The monster who had done all the destruction. First ones to go were the ones who transported you away, then your parents, then the man who had paid your parents for you, and then anyone the monster dam well pleased. Over and over day after day until the estate and the province as a whole was swallowed up until nothing else was left but a smoking husk of what once was.

You nodded before the red and amber eyes of hellish stoic fury. The one responsible for it all. "Yes. You've done everything you could do to satisfy your vengeance... So we have no more need to be in servitude to one another. I release you from anymore duties you feel you have to me."

Instead of taking the obvious way out, he hummed tilting his head. "Hmm. That would make sense....but I have no interest in in leaving what's mine." Those deadly eyes narrowed. "Isn't that right, my dear little wife?"

Wife.

You'd forgotten about that.

As an heiress you were expected to be married. More like married off. It was your duty to be married off to someone else who you probably would never love. All under the guise of being for the 'better of your people and kingdom' and then to be nothing but the perfect little supportive wife to him for the rest of your lives and produce him many heirs. It was a duty you being trapped didn't want but made peace with doing a long time ago and would've done it at one point in time. Especially if it meant avoiding his destruction and wrath.

To force yourself to wear whatever gown your mother picked and force yourself to smile and laugh in mock happiness as your father walked you down the aisle after the bridesmaids and flower girl and ring bearer. Force yourself to repeat rehearsed vows your mother wrote for you in advance and say I do to a stranger you'd never love. And thank everyone for coming to 'the happiest day of your life' and force yourself to scarf down too sweet wedding cake and cry over tacky decorations you'd have no say in picking.

But now none of it mattered really. You ended up promising your hand to the demon before you.

"Please! Just don't hurt anyone else!"

"Then give me your hand." The claws stained by the blood of many and if you weren't careful, you couldn't accidentally cut yourself if you grasped his hand. "As my wife for eternity."

A princess and a monster. An ironic comical fate but what choice did you ever have? You accepted your fate and reached out to the monster. He was suddenly upon you, grabbing your hand while the other looked around your waist pulling you against him as he grinned a smile that was both malevolent and full of want for you.

"After all all this destruction wasn't a part of just wrath. It was my wedding gift to you Let this be my marriage vow and promise to you, my dear.~"

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #Demonstober #kokushibo demon slayer #kokushibo x reader #kokushibo #kokushibou #demon slayer kokushibo #kny kokushibo #kokushibo x you #kokushibo x y/n #demon slayer michikatsu #michikatsu #tsugikuni michikatsu #michikatsu x reader #kny michikatsu #michikatsu tsugikuni #michikatsu x y/n

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spooky-bunnys · 2 years ago

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haiii!! i love your writing so much. And this is my first time requesting ♡ hear me out but the thought of baji having a tall af omega male reader and having toman meet him for the first time?!!! imagine their faces HAHAHAAHHA they would be so flabbergasted seeing thee male reader who is really shy and he was so scared to meet the gang, he tried his best to hide behind baji he's gonna look like a golden retriever hiding behind a poodle fr— at first the gang was kinda skeptical and tried questioning male reader lots of stuff thinking that he was also an alpha THEN BAJI SIGHS AND EXPLAINS THAT HIS MATE IS AN OMEGA HES JUST VV TALL AND CUTE and then and then male reader shyly presents the gang his baked cookies and as the gang immediately kicks off baji like "this cookie is heavenly come get this dummy out of here and marry him rn and adopt us please."

I had to keep rewriting this cause I kept going off track lmao. Enjoy!

When Baji told Toman, he had a surprise, many were hesitant. Sentences with Baji and surprise together was never good. But it wasn't until they had asked Chifuyu, if he knew what the surprise was.

"Eh! Baji is bringing his Omega!" Nobody could believe it. Baji met his Omega? How did he even meet the Omega? Wait-why was Baji the first one to get an Omega?

Toman by now we're arguing over whether or not, Baji was telling the truth about actually having an Omega. Nobody was believing it. Baji the guy who fights almost everyone he meets. He has an Omega? Yeah, sure.

It wasn't too much longer, when they heard Baji's bike. Now, when Toman saw who was on the back of Baji's bike. There was one thing, everyone thought. "There's no way that's an Omega."

On the bike was Tomans first division captain, and a really tall fucking dude. Like this guy was taller then Draken kinda tall. Even if he looked soft and sweet after taking off the helmet he was made to wear. He still didn't look like an Omega.

With Baji though, things were tough. "Come on (Name)! It's time you meet the gang!" (Name) just nervously looked around and shook his head. "A-Alpha I c-changed my mind. I-I can't do this!" The poor Omega was practically trembling.

He could not only feel the judging eyes, but the scents were so strong! It was like they were pumping out their pheromones, on purpose! It was hurting his nose. Baji just gave (Name) a small smile and softly grabbed his hand. "Alpha is here for you."

(Name) felt his heart swell. His Alpha was amazing in so many ways. (Name) gave Baji's hand a squeeze. "O-Okay Alpha." Baji grinned widely and helped the Omega off he bike.

When (Name) got a look at the Toman members, he felt like he couldn't breathe. They were glaring, and looking him up and down. The Alpha with the cold dark eyes started talking first. "Baji, who is that?"

Baji puffed his chest out in pride. "This is my Omega (Name)!" Baji tried showing (Name) off, but the Omega immediately hid behind his Alpha. As Baji tried to coax (Name) out others watched.

"Does anyone else see a two dogs instead of Baji and (Name)?" Many hums were heard. Then there was a snort. "A poodle for Baji cause of his long curly hair, and a golden retriever for the other one because he's trying and failing to hide behind him."

Draken smacked the back of Mikey's head. "Ow! Ken-chin!" Everyone just rolled their eyes and ignored the arguing commanders. They were more interested in this "Omega".

Baji had finally gotten (Name) out from behind him, but before (Name) could even say anything. The interrogation began. Many asked him how they met, or what his sent was. But the one that broke his heart. The one that made him freeze up.

"Are you actually an Omega and not an Alpha?" (Name) flinched and Baji tensed. He looked and saw a male, with beautiful long light hair and a black mask. That made everyone go quiet. They all stared at him. Waiting for him to answer.

(Name) replied with a soft yes and looked away. He sweet (scent) then turned sour. Startling many surrounding them, but not Baji. Oh no. He was pissed. "Sanzu! How dare you ask him that!"

Baji marched forward to grab the masked male, but he felt a tug on the back of his shirt. It was (Name) signaling him to just leave it. Baji growled glaring hatefully at Sanzu. "He may be tall! But he's still my sweet, and adorable Omega!"

The others were quiet. Until (Name) softly spoke up. "I-I um." He played with Baji's hand and pulled his bag off his back. "S-Snacks?" He held the bag up slightly. Baji shook his head and grumbled.

Mikey snatched the bag from (Name), and quickly opened it. (Name) jumped slightly not expecting that reaction. Baji and Draken had practically barked at the sorter male. "Oi Mikey! It's not polite to snatch stuff!"

"Eh? But he said there was snacks! I'm hungry Ken-chin." Mikey pulled out a container containing multiple treats. Including-"DORAYUKI!" Mikey immediately stuffed one in his mouth and went for another one.

Baji quickly snatched the container back and growled. "They're for everyone nt just you! He worked very hard on these." Baji held out the container for the others. "My Omega worked hard to make these for you guys. Be grateful."

Everyone took one bite then froze. These were so fucking good! (Name) smiled brightly seeing everyone enjoy the treats. Baji puffed out his chest. Proud that his Omega was a good cook.

That was until Baji was practically thrown away from his Omega. Toman surrounding the taller male. (Name) jumped and started freaking out. "Oi! (Name)-chin! Hurry up and marry Baji so you can adopt us!" (Name) paled and started stuttering badly.

Trying to politely escape the crowd. Baji having enough and seeing his Omega panicking practically fought the crowd and stood his ground in front of him. "OI! YOU'RE GONNA MAKE HIM HAVE A PANIC ATTACK! IF YOU DO I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!"

He then pulled (Name) down and quickly covered his face in kisses. Scenting him while glaring at the others, who slowly back up. Knowing if they were too close, Baji would actually kill them.

After (Name) calmed down, he finally turned back to Toman and slightly bowed. "I-I'm sorry but w-we're not getting m-married just yet." The Toman members grumbled. Then Baji smirked. "We might next year." (Name) blushed and lightly smack the Alpha's shoulder.

#male reader #x male reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x male reader #male omega reader #keisuke baji #baji x male reader

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rabbittwinrithings · 2 months ago

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Okay, Context time!

Context for this post: https://www.tumblr.com/rabbittwinrithings/767780169766322176/oh-dear-oh-no-i-tripped-and-fell-and?source=share

Pulling the band aid off, I drew this during the time I was Brainstorming/writing Vigilant dialogue for the SOT followers.

With this post I do have a disclaimer that all of this will never come to SOT since I have stepped away. None of this stuff was ever finalized (writing was also in first draft phase,) especially act 4 stuff as I was speaking with some VAs to make sure the contents were alright with them. I know Vigilant is a taxing story, and to build reactions to it would take a lot of work to make sure everyone involved was comfortable with the content the included. So yea, none of this is canon. (Also, poor Gabrielle is missing her thy, thee, etc, for first draft reasons. Tragic.)

(PS. sorry if I get details or events wrong, I haven't played this mod in a hot minute and may misinterpret my own notes on when things take place.)

With all that said, spoilers below for the mod, Vigilant (https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/11849)

Long post starting now!

The Vigilant reactions involved dialogue not only by each SOT follower (Khash, Caryalind, Varrick, Disnel, and Gabrielle,) but also dialogue with one another. Though I only wrote Act 1, I tried to write dialogue that was pretty dynamic so if you didn't have one or two of the group, the others would still hold conversations over the varying subjects with one another. But, the best way to play it would have been with all of them.

Each follower had their own thoughts upon joining the Vigilants. For example,

Khash: Was very excited. To fight daedra and all. Sounded really cool to her.

Caryalind: As well enjoyed the idea. He brings up the Vigilants in the summerset isles and what good work they were doing.

Disnel: Doesn't really know the Vigilants, but the idea of them interested her.

Gabrielle: Found them noble enough. She has a history of aiding them, and this felt no different.

Varrick: Is where the joining took a turn. He even has a conversation with the player about if he should be worried about getting a knife in the back. During the whole first Act, Varrick would be a character who worries about his safety amongst the Vigilants, and talks shit from time to time.

This quest would also mark the tension between Varrick and Gabrielle. (Scene belows take place inside the Vigilant's HQ)

Gabrielle also was very cautious of Khash's saftey. She knows what Daedra would be like and wants to make sure she is safe.

Some additional dialogue I like after finding and fighting the vampire who tried to lure you in by talking about "her sweetrolls."

Cary also caring for Khash:

Once far enough into the Act, Gabrielle would bring up concerns with the player:

There was also a legend in development to keep track of the player's choices in this dialogue:

Then a conversation with Khash:

That's a lot of player conversations. But Gabrielle and Varrick still butted heads.

They also all say "Fuck Windhelm!"

In Riften there is a conversation about the mess in the sewers. However, I didn't really post it here as it's basically everyone being horrified and the DB can tell them about their vision or not.

Varrick being there for Jacob during the trek under the Vigilant tower:

Everyone take care of the scared daughter:

Another Varrick conversation regarding the "witches:"

Fighting Altano:

More fun freak outs!

PSA: Don't bring your lizard daughter on this quest:

More conversations

By the end of Act 1, each companion gets there own prophecy from Molag Bal

Each companion would have conversations with the player to discuss these prophecies they heard in their head. Below are just fragments.

So this marks the end of Act 1 and everything that I had written for the reactions.

I had a feeling Act 2 wasn't going to be as extensive. Just them reacting to the vampire stuff. However, there would be a bigger focus on Caryalind for... reasons...

Act 3 was where things were gonna be easy, but go downhill.

At the start of Act 3, the Player goes to the manor, but the companions are said to have to stay outside as they are not officially Vigilants of Stendarr. Sadly, when the player enters the manor, they hear the screams of their companions and friends through the door they just walked through. Act 3 then continues on like normal.

Okay! That is the end of this post. HOWEVER, I will be posting how ACT 4 goes tomorrow in a separate post as I hit the image limit and have some screenshots of stuff I said during brainstorming on Discord. Trust me, it will be more in depth than Act 2 and 3 as I had a ton of plans for Act 4. Just didn't have exact lines like Act 1. So, keep an eye out for the final part of this post tomorrow!

#sidekicks of tamriel #caryalind thallery #khash the argonian #varrick veil #disnel the changleling #gabrielle #knight of the void #Skyrim #Skyrim modding #Skyrim cvf #Skyrim Vigilant #Vigilant Mod #Now that's a lot of trauma!

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cryingpariah · 17 days ago

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Pari, in honor of International Women's Day, would you perhaps like to share with me your favorite One Piece women and what you love about them?

(Jackie's one of my faves and I hope she's treating herself today!)

I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THE GIRLIES YES PLEASE!!

(I sincerely hope Shriek and all the gals on the Victoria Punk are getting waited on hand and foot/claw, it’s what they deserve!)

Honestly any of the gals that aren’t the worst are my faves 😗😗 but my top picks (in no particular order) are as follows:

- Nefertari Vivi: Damsel in distress? She’s the damsel CAUSING distress! Alabasta is one of the best arcs/sagas and Vivi is the heart behind all of it! Lover her defiance, feistiness, inability to shut her yap sometimes (🤣), everything about her is lovely! (Her and Jackie are spending IWD getting on Morgan's every last nerve and sipping tea)

- Nami: Our very first girlboss, we pledge allegiance to ye 🫡🫡!! She set the precedent for good female character writing in OP with her complexity and tragedy while also being a silly goofball! Has never not slayed an outfit nor an enemy!! Plus she’s one half of the ultimate best friends duo in the entire series with Usopp!!

- Nico Robin: THEE weird girl representation!! Big old brain to think with, big old eyes to stare at you with blinking, big old mouth to say the most unsettling things! Was fighting for my life trying not to like her during the Miss All Sunday era but I couldn’t stop myself 😫😫!! Her DF is in my top 3 DF's I would want (though I do not have her gracefulness 😭😭)

- Carrot: My daughter #1! In a world where Vivi isn’t the final Strawhat I’d totally be cool with Carrot joining the party! Her arc from WCI to Wano was amazing and her bond with Pedro broke my heart every-time Toei decided to run that flashback back 😭😭! Without her we wouldn’t have gotten that iconic introduction to Sulong! I think about her art of the Strawhats almost daily!

- Charlotte Pudding: My daughter #2! Oh how she broke my heart during WCI😭😭 aND THEN SHE GOT NAPPED BY BLACKBEARD?? CAN MY GIRL CATCH A BREAK MY LORD?!? SHE'S LITERALLY JUST A GIRL!!! If/When Garp escapes/breaks out/is rescued he BETTER take Pudding with him!!

- Boa Hancock: so Pari fun fact, I was so excited to get to Impel Down because I wanted to see Ponytail Buggy that I watched the entirety of Amazon Lily in one day…which was a horrible mistake because I was crying so bad about Boa and her sister's backstory I couldn’t function. I didn’t dislike Boa beforehand but since then I have been a staunch Boa Hancock lover and defender. She has done nothing wrong ever and if she did they deserved it.

-Charlotte Brûlée: Just like me forreal. My brother (who was pushing me to get into One Piece for ages) told me there’d be a character who’s basically me in WCI and it's Brûlée! Very tall, very gangly, off-putting, says anything literally anytime, she couldn’t get more me if she tried! You could say…it was like…LOOKING IN A MIRROR!

[Honorable mentions because this could go on forever: Reiju, Stussy, Bonney, Ginny, Conis, Charlotte Lola and Chiffon, Shirahoshi, Otohime, Baby 5, Viola, Dadan.]

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marengogo · 7 months ago

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Are You Sure?! - #3: Jungkook Is My Chef - Jin, 2020

Neva Play - by Megan Thee Stallion feat. RM

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Hello sassy Gurls, Bois and Enbys, how y’all do~ing?

Told ya I was gonna use this gif a lot, this is basically me, for real - for real! Hope you are enjoying Neva Play by Megan Thee Stallion feat. RM, and I also hope you get to feel relaxed at some point in your day/week/life, which by the way, I have been feeling for the past 5 days and let me tell you relaxing was a very old feeling I hadn’t felt in such a long-ass time that I am frankly shocked and I am loving it. You know, that feeling where I can finally feel myself completely, talk to those I want to talk when I want to, and go about my day with absolutely no hurry:

Revolutionary! Staycations are where it’s at. If you haven’t tried it, I highly advise it.

Anyways.

Staying at home and only leaving the house for more relaxing activities got me thinking about a lot of things, one of these things being JK & Domesticity. As we all know or not my Twin-flame is not big on travelling, to be precise, he hates walking. He is the type of guy who would rather stay at home and cook you a very exquisite meal accompanied with the perfect drink he is a proper Earth sign he is a Staycation Connoisseur; what did you think he had all those mattresses for?! Duh. Another thing he’s not big on is doing things he doesn’t want to, and/or doesn’t like, add that to travelling and you have the perfect How to Turn-Off JK Package 😬.

But people the members at some point figured out a way to get around this particular aversions of his, being was bribery 😌, which would usually go “If you come with me to X, you’ll get to do Y”. Now, that was for 17 years old JK, who was extremely bad with the aforementioned, but let me tell you about 27 year old JK, you still might have to bribe him to a certain extent, but the acceptance rate is much easier; the growth is 👌🏾. However, you know who actually even doesn’t have to bribe a 27 year old JK? Literally, this person just has to ask? If anything JK has been the one trying to bribe this person for a good year 😬… Yeah! You guessed it, this guy 👇🏾

I don’t want to call my Twin-Flame a simp, cause he can definitely stand on business, but sometimes bro 🙄… 😩… anyways I’ll let him off for today. I’ll let him off because in all honesty, I am very impressed, and somewhat touched, by the level of attention he’s been bestowing JM during each episode, but real talk, he's been at it for years now, particularly when it comes to food, which is one of JK’s biggest loves so big it could compete with JM and also just so happens to be something that JM seems to be … somewhat selective about.

The first time I clued in on this was during this live:

During this live, JM just so casually informed JK that the champagne they were being served was the only champagne he could drink, and you could literally see JK’s eyes and brain making notes. Not sure why JK had to know that bit of information, but sure, okay 🙄… this was November 2021. Fast forward to October 2022, almost a whole year later, during this live:

Our Party-Party-Yeah Unit gets together and JK prepares champagne for everyone, except JM, at which Tae tries to make JM drink, which he refuses, and Hobi tries to understand why he is not drinking it, at which JM explains:

JK kept silent the whole while drinking and eating as one does when food is your passion, cause he knew better, in fact, he knew so much better that going back to 2021, during JM’s birthday live in October, even before the “Champagne Live”, he casually gifted JM a bottle of joy and 3 bottles of water of course, because even though JM asked for 1, you never know when you might need more water, you know?! 🤡 (Also, I’ll have you know that, personally, I am team JK Prepared That BD Cake, but as always, to each their own beliefs).

So let’s keep fast-forwarding. We are now in 2023 and from America to Korea to Japan, Airplane pat.2 style, this is JK:

So my question here is: Does this look like the type of knowledge that a person who rarely sees someone would be in possession of? Imagine getting to seldomly meet someone and all you do is ask them about their dietary requirements, just so you can meet them again briefly and … recite said requirements to them? Not when they have the same inside jokes, the same taste, and, out of all the members, they seem to be very invested in couple-matching clothing like heavily?

Doesn’t it make more sense for this to perhaps be the result of continuous exposure to a certain behaviour/situation? JM often eats spicy things, hence he likes spicy things. JM likes this particular combination of flavours, so I think he will like this kimbap, also this sukiyaki and that ramen, etc etc etc. I’ve cooked so many things with pink sausage for JM, I was way shocked when he said it was ham! … All I am saying is that if JK didn’t budge when Tae couldn’t tell the difference between ham and pink sausage, but was hella shocked when JM couldn’t, he must have his reasons to assume that JM ought to have known.

Y’all think I’m reaching about JK being very knowledgeable about JM’s nutrition facts? Understandable … but my husband 💅🏾 if you are new to my blog, Jin is my husband 🤡 seems to have thought the same thing as me shocker all the way back in 2020 as shown by this Festa profile that he filled while “pretending” to be JM:

This profile lives rent free in my head, and to this day, I’d like to ask my husband what was the reason? He was able to come up with very abstract, and profound, associations for all the members, except JK, his was very concrete and oddly specific; don’t you think? Cause you know what? If you think about it a little harder, you can be cuties, next-chair-soul-mates, god-like, aegyo-buddies, and best friends at a distance. But a chef? You gotta be physically present to cook and feed someone... and I’ll leave that at that. Very specific I tell you. Very specific.

This was literally all I think he truly wanted: a staycation with JM.

All JK wanted was to “have a drink with JM”, most likely because he thought he couldn’t ask for more during their busy schedules. BTW, how mad is it to tell your mate that you are going to a whole other country to have a drink with someone? Though he does strike me to be the type of guy who gets you in for one drink and makes you stay for eggs, jussayin’ …

This was supposed to be just one trip. Once again, JK had tried all year to get some alone time with JM, so if one trip was all he got, to make the memories he might have felt he needed to get by in case they didn’t get to enlist together which they didn’t know during they would have during the NY trip: THEN SO BE IT. After all he had settled for a drink, one trip? Now that's luxury!

YET…

NY - JM was kijul most of the time so, out-of-the-blue-cheese, caretaker was added as a job description. BUT not to fret … they got to go on another trip. Hell yeah!

JEJU - Last minute change: They ended up becoming hosts, which hey, they were great hosts! The guest had fun and the hosts were delighted. Win-win.

SAPPORO - … I wouldn’t be surprised if JK stopped by a trusted shaman before the trip, in order to learn preventive measures 🤡 not all shamans are evil y’all ….

Winter. Snow. Reminiscing: Perfection 👌🏾.

I think he would have been ready to Taekwondoo anyone who dared to come between Him and his JM Time. TBH I would have been ready to fight as well, I am his Twin-Flame after all and all I really ever want is for him to have what he wants. ALWAYS. I honestly truly want him to be happy, as much as possible, which, on this Sapporo trip, he seems to be a lot, by the looks of it particularly when all he wants is a drink in good company.

To conclude, the way I am looking forward, but also not, to episode 7 and 8 y’all can’t even begin to understand 🤡. JK’s excitement, romantic spirit, and clinginess levels are off the roof bro, so I’m a bit, on my toes he a simp he a simp he a simp. One thing I will also have to say tho, which I am fairly glad about, is that both JM & JK have finally learned how to be ready for the presence of a camera; kudos to you bros! 🤡

Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💜,

Marengo.

#Are You Sure?! Ep 5-6 #Are You Sure?!

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waycoldernighttimes · 7 days ago

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Hear ye, hear ye, for I've a message for thee.

I want to lay my most sincere congratulations unto you. Never before in my as-of-yet short life, so far harrowingly devoid of literary interest, has a piece of writing gripped me so thoroughly.

I just got done reading "Wayfaring Stranger", (I love the song references, and was immediately able to sing along to Leviathan singing "Don't Forget your Old Shipmates") and I felt it necessary to extend my gratitude to you. I have struggled through books before, have tried reading them at home, yet, in the past, I had scarcely found sufficient time and, to an extent, interest to finish them.

Today, I discovered your fanfiction. I read, my focus unbroken, for almost two hours, never looking away from the screen even once; I made coffee, chugged it without even noticing, fed my cat, all the while my little, glowing device never moved away from my face more than a meagre few inches. I was enraptured. I am enraptured.

The writing, the dialogue, the setting itself, all of it coalesces into a beautiful, bubbling pot of literary mastery. I, too, am a writer. Or, at least I try to be. For the past year I have been working on a novel, also set in the Murder Drones universe, which I have recently begun releasing on Ao3. However, I feel like I need to take a break now. It is getting to me.

Today, I have been humbled like never before. Today, I have witnessed mastery over an art form I have yet to even properly dip my toes into, and for that, I am grateful. I have seen what I, with vast amounts of time and a sheer, unbroken focus on sisyphean practice, could one day become.

Inspiration writhes its tendrils of creativity within the halls of my hollow mind, wriggling unwillingly for every thought that crosses it. Today, an avalanche of child-like wonder washed over it, smothering the sluggish thing beneath vast masses of loose grammar and tangled-up paragraphs.

I ought to write about it, and maybe I will, for it is entirely possible I'll soon be unable to contain myself. But I fear that I cannot put to word what my subconscious raves and screams about.

Thank you, sincerely.

Okay first of all, this is a lot. Second of all, this is absolutely fantastic. I'm bloody well glad you enjoyed the story so far, and I'm even happier you found some inspiration in my words.

I wouldn't call Take Care anywhere near mastery. There's still a lot to improve on, and there's a lot I personally draw inspiration from: House of Leaves, Moby Dick, Finnegans Wake- I'm really proud of the work that I've done, but there's always room for improvement.

That being said, I'm very much excited to see what you produce in the future. Conquering Writer's Block is certainly a difficult and worthy battle. I wish you luck on your endeavour, and thank YOU for taking the time to write all of this!

Much love. Take care, It's a desert out there.

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mischivana · 8 months ago

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OLÁ

so I've not done prompts before but I was wondering if you could do 6 " you didn't call text nothing" with a platonic pjo brother Percy and Annabeth.

Where for awhile reader didn't like life at camp wanting to see the world do more with their life feeling in their brothers shadow. So without telling anyone packed up and left didn't go home just disappeared but any attempts to contact them weren't returned to the point everyone thought they died.

Then maybe sometime on the Argo three readers found doing whatever and Annabeth Percy reaction. And reader can't or doesn't have the chance to defend themselves.

Deep angst and if you don't want platonic you could write it Annabeth x fem reader

You Didn’t Call, Text, Nothing.

brother!Percy x Sibling!reader

Pronouns: Gender Neutral

Summary: Percy and his sibling were on equal playing fields their whole lives, but after a few quests, they quickly became lost in their brothers Shadow. So what would matter if they left? No one would notice? Right…

TW: running away, self esteem issues, tell me if I missed any

Genre: Angst

A/N: there are probably some spelling errors in this. Sorry, I tried best.

Masterlist

Everyone says that your siblings are supposed to be like your best friends, and or while that was true to me. My whole life, if I couldn’t count on anyone, I could count on my brother. I could count on Percy. If i needed help with homework, Percy helped where he could. Every new school we were sent to, he was there. If I was getting in trouble with Gabe, he was there. And I was there for him just the same. We were a duo, a package deal, you couldn’t have one without eachother. Then that day at Yancy changed everything. The day that I saw my brother stab a demon thing, everything change. Before I knew it, we were being whisked away to some camp on Long Island and being told we were half god. But we were still by each others side, and that’s all that really mattered.

But that was years ago. Every since then, it seemed everything had changed. Ever since Percy came back from that first quest, it was almost like I didn’t exist. Sure Percy and Annabeth knew I was there, and people still talked to me. But everything they spoke to me all they could ever seem too talk about was how “lucky” I must be to related to THE Percy Jackson. It was exhausting. It felt like nothing I did really mattered. I won’t say that what my brother did wasn’t important. He saved our entire world, but that was also the problem. It was always Him. No matter how many fights I won, records I broke, demi-gods I saved. Percy was always the premiere Jackson. All I was, was his sibling. His shadow. Living off of his fame.

“I think I might leave…” i said quietly. I was sitting against the back board of my friends bed. Hailey, from Demeter, she was my best friend. She was really thee only one to see me for more than Percy Jacksons sibling. I couldn’t;t be more grateful foor her. But even if she was there and saw me for me, it wasn’t enough to keep me here. I needed to get away. To place where I would be more than a shadow. It was dangerous, but I had to leave.

“What…” She said, sitting up, bringing her head from my lap where it was laying. The look on her face pained me. But I needed her to know I had to do this.

“I just…I’m so sick of always living in his shadow. I need to go to a place where I can be me. Without him covering me.” I said solemnly. I knew it was selfish, but at times. It didn’t even seem like Percy knew that he was covering me. We sat there for a few moments in silence. She listened to me for hours, shed comfort me while I cried over this issue. She knew more than anyone how big it was. And I think she knew that it was coming.

“Okay, I’ll help you…” Hailey said hesitantly. The next few hours were spent with me and her only packing what i needed into a small backpack. One extra set of clothing, ambrosia and nectar from the infirmary as well as some medical equipment. A few weapons, and she gave me snack from the Demeter cabin to eep me healthy. We waited until the sun had set, and snuck to the hill avoiding the Harpies. And with one final hug, I said goodbye too the only friend who ever saw me. I walked through the darkness, and started living my life in the light.

*two years later*

It had been two years since that day. Two years since, from Camp Half-Bloods view, I had gone missing. After I left, I made my way west. As far from New York as I could be. I made it to San Francisco, the last place that they would look for me. One of the most dangerous cities intake world for Demi-gods. It was risky for me to be here, but to me, it was better than living in Percy’s shadow. Cause here, I had fiends, I was seen. My accomplishments were celebrated and acknowledged. And nowhere i went would i hear, “Jackson? Like Percy Jackson.” I could sit be me. I was free.

I made no effort to contact camp, or mom, oor anyone back in New York. I didn’t want to be affiliated with that life anymore. So i didn’t contact them, at all. Eventually, the monsters did become too much and I had to be rescued by some others demi-gods int eh area who had returned for the schol year. I hadn’t Matthew back at camp so they couldn’t tell who I was. How lucky was I? I continued to live away from immortal life. Only fighting when I needed to and ignoring my past life completely. I knew that everyone’s back home probably thought I died, but at least they cared for me now. And maybe that’s bad to say, but they didn’t care for anything I did when they thought I was alive.

That was until I saw it. Flying over the coast. A giant ship, a Greek war ship with the world “Argo II” painted on the side. I knew this was an immortal world endeavor, and that I was likely the only one seeing it right now. I ran home and closed the door, I stayed inside till I could be sure that It was gone. This was bad.

I was walking to the store, watching my surroundings and staying on edge to look out for orange shirts or familiar faces. I turned the corner and down the street, not 30 feet away, there he was. The eyes that I shared. I met them in mine. I paused and so did he. It was him, my brother. It was Percy. He was taller, more built. He had grown up, he’d changed. But it was him. His eyes were the same. The same as mine. And he knew it too. He was surrounded by people I assumed to be his friends, and next to him was Annabeth, who was looking at me in shock as well. This was bad.

I broke out of my trance and went back around the corner, running through the crowds and down the street. I heard him calling my name in the background but I had to find a way to loose him. I couldn’t confront him, not now after all these years. And not here with Annabeth and his friends around. As i was running, a fire hydrant exploded and stream of water blocked my path, but my brother forgets that I also control water. I cleared the water for me and launched it back at him to try and stunt him. I turned another corner but was met with Percy being carried by the waves for me, I turned around and was caught in a stream of water again. I was forced into an alleyway where I couldn’t back my way out of this, and hee blocked my exit. I was caught.

we shut sat there. We just looked at each other, in shock, in sorrow, in anger? I couldn’t tell. I knew his friends would be looking for us but right now we were alone. And we probably didn’t had a lot of time alone right now. We both opened our mouths to speak at the same time which silenced both of us again. And after another moment of silence, he spoke.

“How are you alive?! You disappeared two years ago without a trace! Why?” He yelled at me. Couldn’t tell what he was feeling exactly. Anger, sadness, confusion for sure. I tried to find the words but I couldn’t speak. Until I could. I took a breath and answered him as calmly as I could.

“I- I left camp and caught my way here. As to why…I- I left because…” I choked up army reason. I knew it would break him too know he was the reason i left but I was angry that he already didn’t know. I could tell he was getting angrier with me though. To Him, I shut left. I abandoned him. I seemingly died and left him alone, hes allowed to mad at me for that.

“What possibly give you a justifiable reason to have left? We were 16 years old and I wake to my best friend gone! Missing! No one could find. No one could track you. You left nothing. We all thought you died. I burned your shroud at the campfire cause i thought I lost you. Why would you lie. Do you know how hard mom took this? Mom was devastated, she’s still grieving!!” Hee was right. I did do all those things. And I didn’t even know what to say. But i was getting angrier, angrier that he never saw that i was invisible compared to him, that I was nothing but his name. I couldn’t think, I just refuted him.

“You think I wanted to leave?! You think I wanted to abandon camp? Leave the One friend I had? Let you, Annabeth, mom, everyone think I died?! You think I wanted that?! I didn’t!! But It needed to happen, I had to do it. So I could finally live out of your shadow!!” I yelled back at him as I felt some tears prickle into my eyes. I knew it was selfish and stupid but he wanted the truth. So I gave it to him.

“What?! You left without a trace. You didn’t leave a note, you didn’t text or call or anything! You shut disappeared because you felt like your living in my shadow! What do you even mean by that!” He yelled back at me in anger. His friends turned the corner to the edge of the alleyway to view the scene, but honestly I didn’t even care.

“Are you serious?! Every since you came back from that first quest you were treated like a king! All of the sudden everything I ever did was insignificant compared to you. I wasn’t known as the record breaking swordsman I was or the undefeated chariot race winner I was! I was only ever Percy Jackson’s sibling! It was always you! Nothing I did mattered all because we shared a name!! Thats why I left!!” I yelled back at him, finally letting a tear slip through my eyes. I could see his face shift as he heard me. And there, I had my confirmation. He had no idea I was being ignored.

“I- I had no Idea. That still doesn’t give you the right to just leave!!” He said back to me in sympathy? Sorrow? Hurt? I couldn’t tell.

“Of course I did! it was the only way I could’ve scape your shadow. To leave, start somewhere new. Without you blocking my light” I knew deep down that it as in the wrong. After all they thought I was dead. They held a funeral for me. I caused them all so much grief and pain and it was selfish but if I hadn’t, I would have continued to live as no one. Always being muted by the accomplishments of my brother. I saw his face shift. he knew that I was justified but also wrong. And I knew it too. I saw Annabeth, she was still in chock that i was even alive. I went over, walking past a silent Percy, to hug Annabeth. I knew she needed it.

“Look…I know what i did was wrong, I know that what i did was selfish. But you have to understand. You didn’t even know that I was living like that…the next time you tell mom…tell her I’m alive. Give her a hug for me…” I said to him and Annabeth calmly. I didn’t know hat they ere thinking or what they would even say. But i saw an opportunity to leave, again. I couldn’t go back to my old life. I knew that if Ii did, I would just continue to bee in his shadow. And I think he understood that too. So we stood there. i looked at him inn silence and he looked at me just the same. Just as soon as it began it ended, a hug. Hee pulled me in,g ave me one squeeze, and let me go.

‘Goodbye Y/n, I’m sorry. Have a good life, live in the light.” And with that. I was allowed to walk away, he knew I was alive, he knew why i left, he knew that we were both in the wrong. But there wasn’t anything we could do about it. If I went back, things would go back to how they were, and he knew that. I couldn’t go back, and it pained both of us to know it. So we went separate ways, again, and that was that. My old life, now just a phone call away, left behind me.

A/N: I hope Y’all like this, I did struggle to write it a little bit and kinda don’t like the way it ended but I did my very best!! Keep sending in those requests!!

#percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo #annabeth chase #pjo x reader

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vvatchword · 1 year ago

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Paradise Lost, Book 2 (Non-Zoot Edition): Sin Addresses Satan; Satan Allies with Chaos

<- Part 2 || Back to the Beginning || Part 4 ->

I'm not zooted for this one, I just want to talk about it.

Keep in mind this is flow-of-consciousness, so I write down exactly what I think, and then later I sometimes discover i am wrong roflll

“O Father, what intends thy hand,” she cried, Against thy only Son? What fury O Son, Possesses thee to bend that mortal Dart Against thy Father’s head? And know’st for whom; For him who sits above and laughs the while At thee ordain’d his drudge, to execute What e’er his wrath, which he calls Justice, bids, His wrath which one day will destroy ye both.”

“To execute/what e’er his wrath, which he calls Justice” is a metal line and she IS NOT LYING

I am continually struck by how all of these characters have not only acknowledged that God cannot be defeated, they’ve always known God couldn’t be defeated. They still fought him anyway. If I were reading this in a less fantastic setting, I would be like: “M-hmm I feel like a few important documents are missing.”

Another interesting trait: all of these characters know the future. Sometimes it’s awkward—for example, they spend most of Book 2 trying to figure out what to do after falling from heaven, then wax eloquent about events that haven’t happened yet.

It’s hard to know how much was intentional here, and how much was just done in the spirit of the thing, but you know that saying: “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day”? (2 Peter 3:8) It’s like these characters are not only devil-and-angel at once, but also every form of themselves from beginning to end. They haven’t yet committed horrors on the human race, but they also have. (This is not free will.)

This book makes constant asides as to God’s greatness. Everybody stops to talk him up—and by “everybody,” I mean “every single devil who gets a speech.” We haven’t had a single “good guy” yet: the only glory given to God that has been from a non-devil is Milton himself. While speaking of God, the devils’ tones rarely feel sullen or angry; instead, they feel very rote and matter-of-fact, as though they’re reading lines out of an encyclopedia. This is just the way the world is, and all the characters accept what is natural.

That’s dissonant on multiple levels. First, these devils literally JUST tried to overthrow Heaven (aka the ideal version of the world, the world-as-it-should-be). Second, given how absolutely broken the devils sound when they give their speeches—the ways they attempt to soothe themselves and comprehend their failure, added to their sudden comprehension of time (did eternity need to be invoked in heaven or Paradise until the birth of pain?)—these acknowledgments of God’s superiority ring false, like another scribe popped in and wrote BUT DON’T WORRY—

I’m trying to figure out Milton’s motivations here. Did he want to reassure the reader, the publisher, a religious authority, or himself? Keep in mind this was published back in a day where “freedom of expression” was not a thing.

By invoking the importance of the monarchy over and over, this may be Milton's attempt to say: "Mr. King sir, this is not supposed to be a story about your overthrow. Please do not kill me."

I’ve also started wondering about the political realities of when this was published. This feels extremely Protestant. Hey Wikipedia whaddaya say

[Milton scholar John] Leonard speculates that the English Civil War interrupted Milton's earliest attempts to start his “epic [poem] that would encompass all space and time”.

YEAH THERE IT IS

This book was published in 1667… by Peter Parker. Aw yeah :) With great power comes great abuse :))))

I also didn’t know Milton was freaking blind! You know, that fits; the story’s rhythm begs to be read out loud. I love the imagery that painters came up with: Milton dictating Paradise Lost to his daughters. I don’t know that this actually happened, but it’s kinda cool. Sounds like a callback to Homer so I’m a little wary—you know how people are.

Milton Dictating to His Daughter, Henry Fuseli (1794)

I bet this is exactly how he looked too.

HEEEGUUUGGHRRRHHHHH

Also, I just discovered that CS Lewis wrote a preface to Paradise Lost. I adored him as a child. I’m definitely reading that at some point.

Anyway, want to go back to reading Paradise Lost? I DO. Remember where we were? The snake-assed lady whose vagine is a Cerberi doghouse? Well, the devil asks who she and this Dart-wielding shade are…

Without research, I’m guessing the “dart” is a spear. The other option is an arrow, which sounds significantly less dangerous, and no bow is mentioned. I mean, you can still stab someone to death with an arrow, it just seems kinda silly. It’s like running at someone and jamming a bullet into their eye.

Of course, it may be meant to be an arrow. There’s a famous image in Revelations I can’t stop thinking about: the white horseman (commonly interpreted as Jesus—Revelation 6:2) comes out with a bow, but no arrows or quiver.

Holy shit, if you put Jesus and Death together you get a bow and an arrow and the arrow is death

I’m just kidding please ignore everything I say

[The devil asks: who the fuck are you guys and why are you calling me father?] T’ whom thus the Portress of Hell Gate reply’d: “Hast thou forgot me then, and do I seem Now in thine eye so foul, once deem’d so fair In Heav’n, when at th’ Assembly, and in sight Of all the Seraphim with thee combin’d In bold conspiracy against Heav’n’s King, All on a sudden miserable pain Surpris’d thee, dim thine eyes, and dizzy swum In darkness, while thy head flames thick and fast Threw forth, ’til on the left side op’ning wide, Likest to thee in shape and count’nance bright, Then shining heav’nly fair, a Goddess arm’d Out of thy head I sprung: amazement seiz’d All th’ Host of Heav’n; back they recoil’d afraid At first, and call’d me Sin, and for a Sign Portentous held me…

Suddenly, allegory!

I’ve been researching allegory lately—not well, and piecemeal—but I’ve been interested in its function, as well as what makes a good allegory and what makes a bad one. Now, before this point, I would have said that an allegory encloses the entire narrative, not just a part of it. But here we have traditional characters (Satan, Beelzebub, etc), all of whom Milton intended as representations of real spiritual beings, and all of a sudden: the allegorical representations of Sin and Death. They are not just characters, they are concepts—and yet I’d say they belong here. I feel like I can almost put a finger on why…

Was Milton a Biblical literalist? I really don’t know. There are most likely cultural and historical differences I’m missing here. I’m sure that, if Milton were a literalist, it would not be like that of the evangelicals we see today. Evangelical literalism is a particularly stupid, flat kind, and I’m not sure it was that simple back in 1660s England.

Another neat little factoid: a lot of Paradise Lost heralds back to the epic poetry of the Greeks and Romans, right? Who else sprang fully-formed from a forehead? Athena from Zeus! So this is a great callback and recontextualizing of an old myth, setting Lucifer on par with The Rapist King.

One big theme of Book 1’s was that all the other gods of the world are demons—every one of them. So Sin popping out, appearing godlike—for a moment, just like Satan himself—is a hell of a backslap. Athena was a virgin god of wisdom. You’re about to see what happens to Sin (hint: she’s a ho)

I suppose it is also possible that this is an attempt of Milton’s to represent an evolution of theology. Speaking of CS Lewis: Lewis believed that all Classical myth was composed of spiritual half-truths—like the ancient pagan faiths of the improperly-godded Classical peoples were reaching for that absolute truth of Christ, and were unable to because he hadn’t been born yet. According to Lewis, all these old faiths would ultimately be brought together under the umbrella of the Christian God’s single one. It’s one reason why Chronicles of Narnia is full of mythological beasts particular to the Greeks and Romans.

What do you mean, “what about the Jews? Weren’t the Jews around in ancient Rome? And at the time of ancient Greece for that matter?” Girl I don’t remember it’s been a minute and this is just me talking shit into the ether and I’m not even zooted right now

“…but familiar grown, I pleas’d, and with attractive graces won The most averse, thee chiefly, who full oft Thyself in me thy perfect image viewing Becam’st enamour’d, and such joy thou took’st With me in secret, that my womb conceiv’d A growing burden.

“Proshippers DNI/Sinatan shippers DNI”

Can we please appreciate “my womb conceiv’d/a growing burden.” That’s so pretty.

“Meanwhile War arose, And fields were fought in Heav’n; wherein remain’d (For what could else) to our Almighty Foe Clear Victory, to our part loss and rout Through all the Empyrean…

Back to the devil and his minions throwing in little asides about how great God is. Does this feel weird to you, too? It’s disingenuous. Every time you’re just about to accept the demons and hell-born as characters with full interior worlds, they give up on themselves. Characters should be selfish, self-oriented, self-protective. These characters keep stopping to bare their throats.

So why did these demons turn against God if they knew they were going to fail?

I mention this because Paradise Lost waffles about “free will” a lot. At first, I thought the devil mentioned “free choice” because “choice” was an inherently fallen concept, but then I remembered that Adam has a whole conversation with an angel and “free will” is uttered as a benefit.

Here’s a fun verse—one of many, they’re everywhere—that Milton was probably trying to invoke:

The Lord has made everything for its own purpose, even the wicked for the day of evil. Proverbs 16:4

That’s very cool. thanks God. Hey free will isn’t free if you brutally punish anyone who sticks a toe out of your arbitrary line you fucking asshole

“…down they fell Driv’n headlong from the Pitch of Heaven, down Into this Deep…

If you repeat this line out loud, it will heal you of all wounds. How do poets talk about this shit properly? I don’t have the language to describe why it’s good. It hurts, it’s so tasty. I started salivating like this was a delicious cookie. That delicious alliteration. Those hard d’s. HEA(D)long, then HEA(V)en. Soft f’s (fell, from). “Driv’n”, then “Heaven.” “Down” repeated twice, both times beginning a phrase. Long phrase, short phrase—the long fall, the hard stop; hard “d” to soft “v.” You can feel the drop.

I don’t know how to explain this so say it out loud ok

“…and in the general fall I also; at which time this powerful Key Into my hand was giv’n, with charge to keep These Gates for ever shut, which none can pass Without my op’ning.”

A woman who is also an opening. That’s really neat. Oh shit Jesus knocks down the gates of hell, right? Does this imply yet more rape or… yeeeeahhhhhh

Again, I’m struck by how the wicked are the tools of God as soon as the angels are. Why does Sin have to keep this key? What stops her from tossing that shit away? What stops her from opening the gates of Hell and leaving?

The glib answer is, “God does.” However, this wouldn’t be completely fair to say. Allegorical limitations apply here: Sin is not a full character.

Now, as Sin is a concept in this case, it’s like she’s transformed Satan into an allegorical concept by proxy: only by Sin might we allow Satan in. Nice.

It’s like… a tiny allegorical universe for a moment. A wee allegorical nugget.

“Pensive here I sat Alone, but long I sat not, ’til my womb Pregnant by thee, and now excessive grown Prodigious motion felt and rueful throes.

No. No I hate this. Stop

“At last this odious offspring whom thou seest Thine own begotten, breaking violent way Tore through my entrails…

remember Alien? Unfortunate

“…that with fear and pain Distorted, all my nether shape thus grew Transform’d: but he my inbred enemy…

I know we’re very grossed out but can we appreciate this use of the word “inbred” for a moment

“Forth issu’d, brandishing his fatal Dart Made to destroy: I fled, and cri’d out ‘Death’; Hell trembl’d at the hideous Name, and sigh’d From all her Caves, and back resounded ‘Death.’

Remember the “execrable shape” and the “miscreated Front”? I laughed about it, but Milton was being literal: what else could the devil say about Death? Death is a haze without meaningful form. Death can take whatever form he needs to do what he must. And, in this case, Death is greater than his father. He’s an anti-Jesus.

I also love the use of echo. The feeling of resignation and acceptance… just mwah, mwah.

“I fled, but he pursu’d (though more, it seems, Inflam’d with lust than rage) and swifter far, Me overtook—his mother!—all dismayed, And in embraces forcible and foul Engend’ring with me, of that rape begot These yelling Monsters that with ceaseless cry Surround me, as thou sawst, hourly conceiv’d And hourly born…”

Oh no. Oh no no no. Noooooo

So for the record, this is Death repeatedly raping Sin, who then gives birth to dogs on the hour, every hour, for the rest of eternity. Why dogs? Because nobody wants that.

Let’s take a step back from the allegory for a second, because we can. What did Sin do that was wrong? She was literally formed without choice. She had no choice in her nature and she had no choice in what happened to her. It’s debatable she wanted to fuck Satan. It is possible she did nothing but be born and ravished.

Yes I know she’s a concept, but she’s also playing a character here. If you didn’t want me to feel sorry for Sin you shouldn’t have made her a person. Also, the way Sin is being treated is considered an acceptable punishment. The devil characters, who can be treated purely as characters, are being punished by Milton in what he perceives as acceptable ways, and it’s arguable his audience would think similarly.

If God can treat the devils like this, there's no reason he can't treat us like this.

God is a fucking monster y’all. He’s the equivalent of every redneck who fantasizes about killing an Evildoer. Except then he MADE the Evildoer so he could purposely kill them. Worse than that: he made the Evildoer so he could make them suffer.

You ever see someone write so well they fuck up their own propaganda

“…with sorrow infinite To me, for when they list into the womb That bred them they return, and howl and gnaw My bowels, their repast; then burst forth Afresh with conscious terrors vex me ’round, That rest or intermission none I find.

Heeeyyyy are you supposed to feel sorry for Sin?

According to a quote of CS Lewis’ (from Wikipedia. Again, I’m not trying to do a great job here, I’m just fucking around, who even gives a shit), contemporaries of Paradise Lost would have known there were moments they were Supposed to Feel Certain Things, and that the Devil would be considered Bad right away, without any character-building whatsoever.

This is absolutely true. I’m coming to this slow realization that Paradise Lost exhibits traits of both modern narratives—where a character’s quality is SHOWN by their behavior, which includes their dialogue, which may not be trustworthy—and those of allegories, an older literary form. Allegories of the old days were far more straightforward, with characters written to be as one-dimensional and obvious as possible. Nobody wanted to be misunderstood.

However, this is also such a tone-deaf and willfully stupid take that I reject it in part. Look, Lewis was smart, but he would twist himself into a pretzel before he’d admit God could be a fucker: contemporary readers of this book definitely had problems with the devil’s part, and the devil’s complex qualities are part of the book’s draw. I’d argue that the devil is probably the only reason we’re still talking about Paradise Lost today—plenty of good shit was being written back in Milton’s day, and you have to dig to find it. Why did Paradise Lost not fall into a dark pit where only researchers go? It’s not because its first readers decided altogether to read it in a single manner most pleasing.

People are not monoliths guys. Movements are born and slow evolutions turned.

“Before mine eyes in opposition sits Grim Death my Son and foe, who sets them on, And me his Parent would full soon devour For want of other prey, but that he knows His end with mine involv’d; and knows that I Should prove a bitter Morsel, and his bane, When ever that shall be; so Fate pronounc’d.

This is simultaneously horrible, beautiful, and the most metal thing I’ve ever read.

Sin’s longing for cannibalism is the first overt sign of her interior monstrousness (unless she desired the incest, anyway).

This is a reminder to me that to appear ugly or distasteful was often used as a sign in old literature that someone is trash. It’s not a new concept. People confuse personal discomfort with truth all the time.

I am also reminded of the qualities of old allegorical literature. Dialogue wasn’t used to expand on a character’s inner world—it was used like an encyclopedia entry, to deliver clearcut information. The character was not a person, the character was a concept, and nobody was confused about that.

I just had an interesting thought: does Paradise Lost represent a kind of middle ground between older allegorical works and more modern character-driven works?

Wait, if she wishes she could eat Death, why did she stop him from fighting Satan

I mean, Death would win, but… I don’t know. A slave to the narrative? Yeah, probably an allegorical limitation. Allegorical symbols can’t break character or they cease being allegorical. This is one of their major limitations and it’s why writing an allegory that isn’t hamfisted is like scooping your eyes out with hot spoons. I’m starting to see how it’s unwise to just throw a random allegorical character in with a bunch of Normies: first, because they’re limited; they often can’t act like people. Second, what does that say about the rest of the narrative? It opens a can of worms. The artificial limitations of the devils suddenly becomes suspect. The allegory struggles to stretch beyond its tiny nugget prison.

“But thou O Father, I forewarn thee, shun His deadly arrow…”

Oh… ok :(

goofy-ass specter running at the devil with a goddamn arrow

I mean, it’ll work.

“…neither vainly hope To be invulnerable in those bright Arms, Though temper’d heav’nly, for that mortal dint, Save he who reigns above, none can resist.”

Every now and then, you get a hint as to how a word has evolved. Today, we think of “arms” as weaponry; here, Milton uses it to refer to “armor.” As for “dint”, it could go either as “blow, stroke” (the archaic reading, according to my dictionary) or as “force, power.” Also according to my dictionary, this is where “dent” came from (take this with a grain of salt lol).

I don’t know, it’s very cool.

She finish’d, and the subtle Fiend his lore Soon learned, now milder, and thus answer’d smooth.

I love the current-day connotations of the word “lore.” It makes this kind of funny.

Reading on, I’m honestly not sure if he believes Sin or not. You think you’d remembering fucking your brainchild. Then again, this is Hell; the characters exist in a weird between place. It’s possible that in the spirit world, concepts can be people… perhaps the nature of the spiritual is its adherence to the ideal (both ideal Wickedness and Holiness).

What makes this even harder to understand is: where does Milton intend for double-meaning and earnestness to reside? I ask because it was the style of allegories and parables to be rather straight-forward, as Lewis said. But these characters are sometimes almost modern, with clear snark and ulterior motives.

“Dear Daughter, since thou claim’st me for thy Sire, And my fair Son here showst me, the dear pledge Of dalliance had with thee in Heav’n, and joys Then sweet, now sad to mention, through dire change Befall’n us unforeseen, unthought of,

Smooth.

“…know I come no enemy, but to set free From out this dark and dismal house of pain,

Wait a minute. Is this where House of Pain got their name. IS THIS WHERE HOUSE OF PAIN

(I looked it up. It’s from HG Wells’ The Island of Dr. Moreau, which is just as weird.)

“Both him and thee, and all the heav’nly Host Of Spirits that in our just pretenses arm’d Fell with us from on high: from them I go This uncouth errand sole, with lonely steps to tread Th’ unfounded deep, and through the void immense To search with wand’ring quest…

“From there I go—this uncouth errand sole,” is what I’ll say when I’m heading out on errands from now on.

“…a place foretold Should be, and, by concurring signs, ere now Created vast and round, a place of bliss In the Purlieus of Heav’n…

I had to look up a word. “Purlieu” means “the ground on the edges of a forest, especially when partly subject to the same forest laws concerning game hunting, etc” or “the outskirts of any place; an adjacent district; the environs or neighborhood.”

I really like the implication of “at the edge of law.” That’s what God keeps coming down to—that’s what the book keeps coming back to: the battle between law and anarchy.

“…and therein plac’d A race of upstart Creatures…

fuck yeah. fuck you satan

“…to supply Perhaps our vacant room, though more remov’d, Least Heav’n surcharg’d with potent multitude Might hap to move new broiles…

I had to look up “broiles,” and in the process, discovered what may be the best dictionary of all time: Shakespeare’s Words.

“Broil” once meant “turmoil, confused fighting, battle.”

“…be this or aught Then this more secret now design’d, I haste To know, and this once known, shall soon return, And bring ye to the place where Thou and Death Shall dwell at ease…”

This section is so delicious.

First, Satan is schmoozing, 1000%. We only know this because he first talked shit to Death and Sin, and has now changed his tune. That said, it’s wildly unclear what his motivations are, half because he’s talking to literal allegorical figures. Once allegories get involved, they are stringently policed: neither Sin nor Death can be surprising to us. They will exhibit all the traits of their counterparts as understood by Milton’s version of Protestant Christianity. Their purpose is edification and education. An allegory is an encyclopedic entry given flesh.

Second, for what purpose does Satan offer these things? To pay them off? Probably. Does he offer them because he has grown a heart? No, probably not. Is he just offering what these characters want to hear? Probably. But, as you’ll soon see, he’s not lying. Does he know he’s not lying?

“…and up and down unseen Wing silently the buxom Air…

“Buxom” used to mean “lively, cheerful, bright,” not BIG OL TITTIES

“…embalm’d With odors; there ye shall be fed and fill’d Immeasurably, all things shall be your prey.”

We know, because we are inundated with Christianity in this country, that he’s telling the truth. He’s explaining that once Sin and Death are free, they’ll be free to feed on the Earth.

Is he telling what he perceives as truth, or is he promising pie in the sky?

If we were to be blitheringly flat, like Lewis, we’d recognize Satan’s speech as literal: he’s offering a promise he can keep; he understands what is going to happen before it ever happens. But because he’s complex, and started off his speech with flattery, I’m also not completely sure—I can only know by reading on and finding out if he spoke the truth.

Of equal interest: Satan is also doing right by his baby mama and weird fucking son. Sure, he’s talking shit, but he’s also taking responsibility.

Just. Kinda weird situation all told.

He ceas’d, for both seem’d highly pleas’d, and Death Grinn’d horrible a ghastly smile, to hear His famine should be fill’d, and blest his maw Destin’d to that good hour…

God I love this description. I love how Death contains “famine”, how he blesses his empty throat with promises of glut.

…no less rejoic’d His mother bad, and thus bespake her Sire. “The key of this infernal Pit by due, And by command of Heav’n’s all-powerful King I keep, by him forbidden to unlock These Adamantine Gates; against all force Death ready stands to interpose his dart, Fearless to be o’ermatched by living might.

One guy with one arrow versus everybody.

It’s all right, tell me how it goes

“But what owe I to his commands above Who hates me, and hath hither thrust me down Into this gloom of Tartarus profound, To sit in hateful Office here confin’d, Inhabitant of Heav’n, and heav’nly-born, Here in perpetual agony and pain, With terrors and with clamors compass’d round Of mine own brood, that on my bowels feed…

OH MY GOD SHE’S DOING IT

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

On that note: are you saying. That if God had maybe. Not been incredibly cruel to Sin. We may not have had Sin

Lewis would say something about how Sin had made her choice, and about how the brutalities wreaked against her were her own fault somehow, and that her nature was inherently wicked, so she would be wicked even when shown mercy. Then he'd end up with "it's an allegory anyway"

The problem with this is a) Christianity is about forgiving people who have committed some real humdingers, so this is logically dissonant, and b) so far, God hasn’t just punished: he has been nasty and cruel. The only love I have seen is between devils. If this is propaganda for God it’s not doing a very good job

“Thou art my Father, thou my Author, thou My being gav’st me; whom should I obey But thee, whom follow? Thou wilt bring me soon To that new world of light and bliss, among The Gods who live at ease, where I shall Reign At thy right hand voluptuous, as beseems Thy daughter and thy darling, without end.”

YES

Kinda weird but YES

Don’t take shit from that asshole lady he sucks

Thus saying, from her side the fatal Key, Sad instrument of all our woe, she took; And towards the Gate rolling her bestial train, Forthwith the huge Portcullis high up drew, Which but her self not all the Stygian powers Could once have moved… …So wide they stood, and like a Furnace mouth Cast forth redounding smoke and ruddy flame.

I just wanted to share this for the imagery. I love the imagery of a beautiful woman on a serpent’s tail, slipping slimy and bloody over the black earth, her body broken open in a hundred places where her hungry young have burst forth, and all around her the hellhounds loping. Then you can just feel the gates of Hell open and all I can think of is how I feel when I open the front door on a haboob.

“Redound” means “to fall out, contribute, turn out.”

Before their eyes in sudden view appear The secrets of the hoary deep, a dark Illimitable Ocean without bound, Without dimension, where length, breadth, and height, And time and place are lost; where eldest Night And Chaos, Ancestors of Nature, hold Eternal Anarchy, amidst the noise Of endless wars and by confusion stand.

Most of what I’m sharing here, I just LIKE. I like the image of Chaos and void. I love how it dwarfs Lucifer. I can feel the wind surging from that hot black egress. It probably switches back on itself—in direction, in temperature, in violence.

Also, I can't stop remembering that weird starlit void lurking below the surface world of Elden Ring.

...Into this wild Abyss, The Womb of nature and perhaps her Grave, Of neither Sea, nor Shore, nor Air, nor Fire, But all these in their pregnant causes mix’d Confus’dly, and which thus must ever fight, Unless th’ Almighty Maker them ordain His dark materials to create more Worlds, Into this wild Abyss the wary fiend Stood on the brink of Hell and look’d a while, Pondering his Voyage; for no narrow frith He had to cross.

“Frith” is an ancient word for “estuary.”

His Dark Materials is a book series. That phrase and the title of The Golden Compass originate from Paradise Lost. Speaking of which, I need to finish the series. From what I’ve read, the author had a bone to pick with CS Lewis, and I do approve of that.

Again, I love the imagery of this section, and that’s the only reason I’m sharing this. See, so far, Satan has been presented as a giant. He’s enormous. He’s powerful. But the chaos dwarfs him. Could absolutely swallow him. You believe in it as a dangerous place—a primordial place. It feels older than God.

Although the void here is technically allegorical, there’s worldbuilding here. This is an attempt at realism. The boundaries between allegorical and literal smear.

…At last his Sail-broad Vans He spreads for flight, and in the surging smoke Uplifted spurns the ground, thence many a League As in a cloudy Chair ascending rides Audacious, but that seat soon failing, meets A vast vacuity: all unawares Flutt’ring his pennons vain plumb down he drops Ten thousand fathom deep…

I had no idea that “vans” originated as a word for “wings.” For a brief, heady moment, I imagined Lucifer taking off in some cool fuckin kicks.

Here's where you see what I mean about action sequences: Milton is so damn good at making you feel the rough weather and envisioning weird spaces. "Surging smoke," "ascending rides/Audacious," "a vast vacuity."

...i love alliteration and action verbs. so much

…when straight behold the Throne Of Chaos, and his dark Pavilion spread Wide on the wasteful Deep; with him Enthron’d Sat Sable-vested Night, eldest of things, The consort of his Reign; and by them stood Orcus and Ades, and the dreaded name Of Demogorgon; Rumor next and Chance, And Tumult and Confusion all embroil’d, And Discord with a thousand various mouths.

Again, I just LOVE this. I’m trying to only share things I enjoy, but it’s so hard when the whole book sings.

"Wide on the wasteful deep." Mmmmfffffff f f f ffffffffffffff

"Sable-vested Night." You know, when people adjectivize nouns, usually I get mad, but this is gorgeous.

Had to include the bit about Discord because never before have I appreciated the name so well

“Yours be th’ advantage all, mine the revenge.”

Metal. Take whatever you want: I wanna fuck this guy over. (Satan absolutely said this.)

...Satan stay’d not to reply, But glad that now his Sea should find a shore, With fresh alacrity and force renew’d Springs upward like a Pyramid of fire Into the wild expanse…

One thing I like to imagine, especially when I see visual depictions of spectacular events, is wonder how the author came to envision them. As writers, we’re very lucky in this day and age that we can go look up videos and images and firsthand accounts of farflung events, and a lot of us take cues from film and television. Milton would have had a more limited palette.

What is more, not everyone can write an action sequence. Milton can. He understands that language is about feeling, not seeing.

It makes me wonder: what inspired the image of Satan’s launch? Fireworks? Comets? Lightning? The mere interplay with light out in the world?

“Glad now his Sea should find a shore” is a beautiful line and it’s about the devil allying with Chaos rofl

Send that one to your lover one day without explanation.

But now at last the sacred influence Of light appears, and from the walls of Heav’n Shoots far into the bosom of dim Night A glimmering dawn…

The sun is heaven confirmed

We're all gonna live in the sun someday

Oh wait I'm writing this.....

...im going to hell.......

…Satan with less toil, and now with ease Wafts on the calmer wave by dubious light And like a weather-beaten Vessel holds Gladly the Port, though Shrouds and Tackle torn; Or in the emptier waste, resembling Air, Weighs his spread wings, at leisure to behold Far off th’ Empyreal Heav’n, extended wide In circuit, undetermin’d square or round…

It’s fascinating to me that Heaven is seen right away as bending the laws of physics. A different writer whose name rhymes with "HP Lovecraft" would be like NON-EUCLIDEAN GEOMETRY

With Opal Tow’rs and Battlements adorn’d Of living Sapphire, once his native Seat; And fast by hanging in a golden Chain This pendant world, in bigness as a Star Of smallest Magnitude close by the Moon.

“This pendant world” "living Sapphire" UggghhhhHHH it’s so good

Imagine for a second: the peoples of this era already knew the Earth was round, but nobody had seen it from space yet.

Milton could fully envision it—like a jewel hanging in the sky.

What I don’t understand is “the golden chain.” It may be literal lol

Thither full fraught with mischievous revenge, Accurst, and in a cursed hour he hies.

This is a word-by-word account of my green-cheek conure flying into a plate of mashed potatoes.

To Be Continued

#paradise lost #christianity #reading #paradise lost book 2 #vv reading #vvatchword #books #literature

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amadeusgame · 9 months ago

Text

A Small Developer's Next Fest Retrospective

This write-up is mostly intended for people working on their first indie game who have no idea what to expect from an event like Steam Next Fest going in with a relatively small following and wishlist count. Almost all of the advice and available information I have seen is geared for games that have wishlists in the 4-5 digits, which is decidedly not me. So I am publishing my numbers for reference.

For full transparency and disclosure, Amadeus: A Riddle for Thee ~ Episode 1 ~ Waltz went in to Next Fest with 137 outstanding wishlists. This number was huge and hard-earned for my standards, even if it's a number that most studios consider "nothing." If there is one takeaway from this writeup, I hope it's that "nothing" is highly contextual, and any number you worked hard for is substantial.

As the Fest wraps up, the current outstanding count for Amadeus is....

259.

That is almost double what I started with. THAT'S HUGE!

It is incredibly important to keep perspective in mind when analyzing numbers like this. If you go in to Next Fest with 40k wishlists, getting ~120 more will feel like absolutely nothing. But if you go in with under 150, 120 is remarkable and significant. So whatever amount you have in anticipation of Next Fest, set your expectations based on that. Don't compare yourself to a super polished game made by a team of 30 people and a budget.

What follows is a lot of numbers and strategies and analysis of what I tried and how I think it went.

This write-up is going to be split into three sections.

The first is "Strikes Against Amadeus," in which I will outline all of the things I did that were not-optimal. You can decide whether to learn from that and avoid the same issues, or understand that doing them anyway means your numbers will suffer (as was my approach). This first part is very writing-heavy and has a lot of speculation and subjective commentary from a small solo dev POV.

The second section is "What Apparently Went Well," discussing the things that I think contributed to the game almost doubling its wishlists. Clearly, I did something right!

The final section is just numbers and data. Numbers on wishlists, wishlist deletions, correlations between stream viewership and wishlists/stream viewership and timeslots, etc. Feel free to skip directly to this part if you just want data.

I. Strikes Against Amadeus

Things that certainly contributed to it not doing as well as it might have.

Unpolished demo

Capsule art doesn't really show what the game looks like

Inconsistent gameplay

Streaming mistakes

1. Unpolished Demo

First things first—I ignored a very key piece of advice about getting the most out of Next Fest. Ignoring it was the correct choice for me, but I am aware it almost certainly had a negative impact on the numbers.

The advice: do not enter Next Fest until your demo is basically release-ready, as polished as it will ever be.

Next Fest is showing your game to a massive audience who are checking out hundreds of games. If you want your game to have a chance of standing out it should be the best it's going to be. And you only get one Next Fest for your game.

Why did I ignore it? Because I am a solo developer with limited time making a game that will never feel polished, and I wanted to focus on the big picture of my game's eventual release.

I am aiming to release the full game in October. If I waited until the following Next Fest, that festival would also be in October. I already know from releasing the demo that a release is MASSIVELY time-consuming and stressful. Do I want to deal with the stress of participating in a week-long festival while I am also dealing with the stress of a release? Absolutely not. I decided it was better to enter the June festival so when October comes my attention is not divided.

Given that I'd decided on the June festival, I was faced with another decision: I had already made many mechanical and writing improvements in my test build since the released demo. Should I update the demo build with those improvements before the Next Fest, so the demo feels better?

For similar reasons, I decided no.

Pushing an updated demo build would probably require a dedicated week just to test & troubleshoot all platforms in case something broke, and I am deep in the middle of development to finish the full game. Taking a week off of development to release a slightly more polished build for Next Fest felt like bad prioritizing.

I already know my game is a bit scrappy, and unlikely to do Big Numbers no matter what. More importantly, it doesn't matter HOW many wishlists I get if I don't actually finish the full game for release. So I focused on just continuing to work on my game.

If you choose to enter the Fest with an unpolished demo, as I did, you do need to accept that this means a lot of people will pass on it who may have given it a chance if it was more finished.

If you are anything like me, you might also need to prepare yourself for getting stressed out when you find yourself with 200+ people watching your unpolished game in real time, in silent judgement, causing you to become hyper-aware of every flaw and imperfection.

2. Capsule Art Doesn't Showcase Game

I knew that my game's store visual assets are not, shall we say... optimized. You can barely read the game's subtitle in it. It's also one of the only capsules in the whole Visual Novel category of the fest that doesn't clearly show what any of the characters actually look like.

I DO think that it looks unique, which is a large point in its favor, but I should probably consider making the protagonist or other discernible-at-a-glance art visible so people can see what the game actually looks like. There are so many hundreds upon hundreds of games in the Fest to scroll through, and a lot of people might scroll right past mine even if it's a game they would like because the thumbnail shows them nothing about how the game itself looks.

I'm not a graphic designer and my budget for this game is $0 + all my spare time, but it might have been pertinent to learn a little about graphic design principles in much the same way I have learned a little about animation principles to create Amadeus's walking animation, etc.

...That said, I am kind of attached to the non-optimal thumbnail just because it really does look different from all the others. Sometimes standing out isn't a good thing, but hey. This game exists because of unmarketably niche self-indulgence. I still feel that it suits it in a way.

3. Inconsistent Gameplay

This is something inherent to my game that I will absolutely not be fixing, but it is worth addressing.

Amadeus has scenes that are pure visual novel with minimal, if any, player input. These largely just feature text, character sprites and/or CGs, music/sound, and... that's really it. There are barely any choices or interactions to speak of.

It also has scenes where you control Amadeus and interact with the environment via point-and-click (or WASD) gameplay. These portions were inspired by my love of games like Zelda and Paper Mario, and for better or worse, I basically refused to compromise on the vision of actually walking around and controlling a little guy in my game.

These two gameplay experiences, in all honesty, have very little in common with each other.

Important note: I scripted every mechanic in the game myself, which means that neither of these very distinct scenarios feel polished (the visual novel scenes don't have pauses after punctuation in the shipped demo - I only figured out how to do this very recently; and the point-and-click scenes have janky pathing where Amadeus walks against walls not-infrequently). This means both gameplay types introduce potential friction/frustration because they're unpolished. This also makes the player experience very inconsistent between scenes.

The reason I draw attention to the inconsistency is that I noticed, during my livestreams throughout the week, a particular pattern in viewership.

It seemed at first that I would accumulate viewers during the point-and-click segments and they would drop off dramatically during VN segments. I attributed this to an elitist "VNs don't have GAMEPLAY" attitude and shrugged it off, until I noticed on a later stream that the exact opposite pattern was happening.

On that later stream, I accumulated viewers during long VN segments with no "gameplay," and they dropped off dramatically when it transitioned to a point-and-click gameplay segment.

That's when I realized that it's not a matter of one part of the game being Better To Market than the other; it's a matter of people generally valuing consistency. This bodes very well for people making pure visual novels, or otherwise hybrids that are more cohesive than mine is. The fact that my game feels like two different games awkwardly shoved together is, understandably, off-putting.

This is also not an aspect of my game I have any intention whatsoever to fix. The jarringly different gameplay experiences in it are a core part of its identity as a visual novel inspired by Sonic Adventure. However, it is probably worth noting that this doesn't make it very marketable.

(Maybe I should put Solea in a mech in Episode 2?)

4. Streaming Mistakes

This is probably the #1 thing to fix for next time I participate in a Next Fest, and the easiest adjustment to make now that I know better.

Before Next Fest, you are encouraged to sign up for 2 hour-long slots during which your game will receive a spotlight on the streaming schedule. This grants it a significant boost because the stream schedule is right there on the main page of Next Fest.

I've seen a lot of debates about when to schedule these and I do not have enough data points to draw any strong conclusions other than "definitely take advantage of this and schedule two, on two separate days." I've published my own numbers in the data section.

If you take no other advice from this write-up, take the following:

Test streaming to Steam before the Fest.

Publish your scheduled stream events before the Fest, so they appear on the schedule in advance.

Start streaming at least an hour before your spotlight time begins.

Continue streaming until you are back down to what an average, no-spotlight stream viewership for your game looks like.

My biggest "mistake" was really that I had no idea what average, no-spotlight stream viewership looked like because I scheduled my first stream at the start of the fest. I did start about an hour before the spotlight, and was steadily climbing in the double digits of viewers. I assumed this was with no boost (as my spotlight hour hadn't started). During the spotlight I averaged around 200 viewers, which felt insane. After the spotlight, I kept going for another half hour and it went back down to a little over 100, and since I was kind of exhausted and stressed I cut stream.

The next time I did a stream with no spotlight.... I averaged, um, maybe 8 viewers.

This was a very important lesson.

I still tried to do streams just about daily, mostly at night when I had time (and since there were fewer streams total, these seemed to do very marginally better anyway; maybe averaging closer to 10 viewers); but not very long ones. I didn't want to stress myself out trying to maximize exposure when I knew my game would never be a smash hit on release anyway, especially since the story won't be finished until all 5 episodes are out.

These smaller streams were really key in helping me figure out what viewers were looking for, though. I kept a close eye on viewer count while playing to look for patterns. More on that in the "What Went Well" section.

My second spotlight stream was on Saturday, and this time I started streaming about an hour and a half before it started. The beginning was pretty average, maybe slightly above average, but right on the hour-before mark I saw a pretty sizeable boost to an average of 30ish viewers (compared to 10ish, that's significant!), and then the hour itself saw a peak of around 400 viewers and an average of around 350, which is almost twice as good as the first stream, and just totally nuts. After the spotlight hour ended, I stayed live for another 2 hours because it was still in the triple digits and I knew that I would never get those numbers again. I eventually cut stream with still over 70 viewers because I was exhausted and needed food, but boy, was that a learning experience!

If I had kept going for another hour or so on Monday's stream (not that I knew better at the time), I really think the numbers from that day could have been even stronger.

II. What Went Well

This section covers the 4 major things that I think are working in my game's favor and helping it gain some interest.

Unique aesthetic identity

Additional marketing efforts

Good tagging

Adapting Livestream Approach

1. Unique Aesthetics

It's impossible to put a number on this, but I believe the fact I am a musician and an artist well before I am a programmer means the game has an aesthetic vision that stands out. It looks and sounds very unlike almost anything else I can immediately think of, including its clear influences. And because I have coded the mechanics myself instead of using an engine built for that purpose, I have made my life harder for no reason, and also made a game that feels unique.

If you can't be marketable, be memorable! Not a lot of people proportionately are going to find or be interested in Amadeus, but I like to think some of the people who saw it were captivated by the heart I've put into it and the clear vision I have for it.

2. Additional Marketing

This will be further outlined in the numbers section below, but on most days of the Fest I did some shilling elsewhere (mostly on Twitter) to try and get the most out of it. I have no way of knowing whether this was successful, but I will note which days I did which external shilling in case it is insightful.

I sincerely apologize to all of my Twitter followers for all that spam, by the way. You only get one Next Fest...

3. Good Tagging

This was almost certainly invaluable. There are SO MANY games participating in the Fest that anyone just scrolling through upcoming games will never see mine, as it's almost at the bottom in terms of wishlists. But the whole point of the Fest is to connect gamers with games they want to see, including really specific ones.

Steam has an awesome tagging wizard to tag your game on their store to identify really specific factors that people might look for. People browsing the Fest can use tags to filter for games that sound appealing to them in particular. So even if there are thousands of games, someone looking for a very specific type of VN/point-and-click that Amadeus fits the bill for should be able to find it.

(Even before the Fest, I am certain a nonzero number of wishlists came from my game being tagged "werewolf.")

4. Adapting Livestream Approach

Related to a point above, on what didn't go so well... in my second spotlight stream, I was able to get a lot more eyes on my game from knowing full well how much the spotlight hour mattered, by starting earlier and continuing later.

I had also learned from paying close attention to viewership patterns during the smaller streams over the week that certain behaviors on stream tended to drop viewers like flies. Opening menus too much instead of just letting VN scenes play out turned out to be a big no-no! I thought they'd want to see GAMEPLAY AND INTERACTION(TM), but it turns out viewers do not want to see adjustment of text speed sliders or opening of a backlog on someone else's pace; viewers want to see the game so they can decide if it's one they want to play or not.

I learned from this, so by the time my second major spotlight hour came around, I knew that the optimal way to play for viewers was just to toggle on the auto button and watch the Sonic Adventure 2: Battle 180 emblem speedrun world record VOD on another tab until a point-and-click segment came up.

III. The Numbers

Data from streams, wishlists, demo plays, etc.

I showed the overall total wishlist numbers from "demo launch on Steam store" to "right now" at the top to show just how much Next Fest has helped, but here is another view of that: wishlist adds and removals per day, since demo launch through Next Fest:

The big peak you see on the right, from Day 1 of Next Fest, is the single biggest day ever for wishlists the game has ever had. INCLUDING LAUNCH DAY.

I saw so many people say "Next Fest isn't going to help you if you're a tiny game with 50 wishlists," but, I mean.... I'm a tiny game with ~130 wishlists, and it has helped massively.

Zooming in on the Next Fest week:

I'll transcribe the exact numbers, for both wishlist adds and deletions, because the deletion number is interesting too:

Sun Jun 09 - 3 adds, 0 deletes Mon Jun 10 - 38 adds, 1 delete - Scheduled Stream 1 Tue Jun 11 - 19 adds, 4 deletes - Unscheduled Evening Stream Wed Jun 12 - 16 adds, 0 deletes - Unscheduled Evening Stream Thur Jun 13 - 9 adds, 1 delete - Unscheduled Daytime Stream Fri Jun 14 - 10 adds, 0 deletes - Unscheduled Evening Stream Sat Jun 15 - 24 adds, 4 deletes - Scheduled Stream 2 Sun Jun 16 - 16 adds, 0 deletes - No Stream

Adjusting for Additional Marketing:

It is probably worth noting that on the following days I made a lot of annoying Twitter posts shilling my game trailer on blue check accounts asking people to post their #indiegame. I have no idea if this influenced the numbers, but here is the amount of shilling per day:

Mon Jun 10 - 1 original post advertising the stream Tue Jun 11 - 2 original posts advertising Next Fest, 11 replies to "show me your indie game in Next Fest" blue check engagement bait posts (I am sorry) Wed Jun 12 - 1 reply to "show me your indie game in Next Fest" blue check engagement bait post Thu Jun 13 - 1 reply to "show me your indie game in Next Fest" blue check engagement bait post Fri Jun 14 - 1 original post advertising the stream Saturday. Lots of unrelated posting about Sonic the Hedgehog Sat Jun 15 - no posts Sun Jun 16 - 1 original post saying "it's my birthday play my game" that got more engagement than usual (5 RTs)

Important data points:

The two biggest days for wishlist deletions - ever - were Tuesday and Saturday. Presumably Tuesday is because it is the day following the most adds ever, and people got around to playing and decided "nah." Presumably Saturday is because it was the first weekend day where people got around to trying the demo and decided "nah."

The two biggest days for wishlist adds were Monday and Saturday. These correspond exactly with the days of my 2 scheduled streams. While I have heard that generally wishlists start high and taper off as the week goes on, the Saturday stream clearly had a massive impact on wishlists. That said, although it had almost twice as many viewers, it did not have nearly as many wishlists, implying the stream was far from the only factor.

Sunday performed above average and I did not stream at all that day.

Thursday performed the lowest throughout the week, and I streamed around midday (other days I streamed at night).

My extrapolations from these data points:

Small non-promoted daily streams... may not really matter; considering how well Sunday performed on a day I didn't stream at all, it seems that the boost I got from doing those small streams could be negligible.

That said, I recommend streaming late at night and not at midday if you are a smaller game for unscheduled streams.

It is difficult to tell if Thursday's low performance was due to the lower-than-average stream attendance from streaming at a more competitive time, or if that is just expected on a Thursday. Also, with numbers this small, some fluctuations may simply be statistically insignificant.

The "worst" day of the fest was still WAY above average for the game, and 4 days of the fest did better in wishlist adds than any other day except Day 1 of demo launch.

I obviously cannot say how well this scales to games that go in with 400-1000 wishlists, or games that go in with 50-100. But hopefully this helps!

I also want to show some metrics from the streams, including the times and whether they were spotlight streams or just extra streams. BEHOLD. DATA:

That comes out to the following "average viewers" (total/length):

(All times in Pacific.)

Mon: 53.0 viewers/min - 1:15PM-3:33PM - spotlight 2PM-3PM Tue: 5.04 viewers/min - 9:00PM-10:31PM Wed: 2.68 viewers/min - 9:40PM-10:41PM Thu: 2.09 viewers/min - 10:54AM-12:53PM Fri: 3.21 viewers/min - 9:14PM - 11:45PM Sat: 33.6 viewers/min* - 9:34AM - 2:46PM - spotlight 11AM-12PM * this is much lower than monday only because the stream started well before spotlight and continued for another 2-3 hours after the spotlight ended, whereas Monday the stream only lasted a little longer than the spotlight hour.

Here's how the spotlight hour affected the Saturday stream, so you can see the boost in the hour before as well as how even with the drop-off after, it's a significant boost:

The boost at that first vertical boundary is it going from ~10 viewers to about ~30 viewers on average, then it is probably obvious where the spotlight hour itself starts. Notice that even with the sharp decline after it ends, it still tapers off to well above the average before the hour.

This is why I think it's essential to stream an hour before your stream starts, and continue well after the hour ends until viewers have truly tapered off to nothing significant. You'll get way more eyes on your game than you would any other time of the Fest!

I honestly have a lot more data points, but this post is getting long enough as it is. If you have any particular questions please feel free to send them my way. My primary goal is to put numbers out there for a game with a very small following, because I want small creators to have some data points on which they can base expectations for their own experience.

I hope you find this helpful or insightful! And if you're interested in a visual novel/point-and-click hybrid about a shithead teenager werewolf getting trolled by Witches in a super metanarrative-y game about memories and trauma, you know where to find it.

Good luck out there!

#Steam Next Fest #indie game marketing #indie game development #indie game #devlog #misc updates

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jadetheblueartist · 11 months ago

Note

IM SO SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED YOUR TEGAN ASK

I feel so bad :( you said it took you three hours and also I had written a huge response and now it’s gone ;-;

Okay so I’m going to rewrite my response but I’m really sorry if I get things wrong since now I can’t review what you sent ;-;

————

I LOVE THE IDEA SO MUCH!!!! And I would love to hear more about their training and life on the ship!

I may be obsessing over Talon and Megan a tad bit��

I love all the possibilities of how they passed the time in the car so much. It would be so awkward at the start and I’m all here for it!! I imagine Talon carried most of the conversation from the beginning until after they really got to know each other. I feel like at the start Talon would just awkwardly try to tell her what has happened to the earth while she was gone in hopes of starting some conversation. I’m imagining the parking lot picnic with them just drinking slushees and eating whatever gas station food seemed good (I’m assuming everything is kind of run down?)

Car karaoke. Oh it would be amazing. Talon trying to find songs Megan likes and trying to get her to sing along, windows rolled down, it’d be such a vibe.

With the race scene I can’t stop picturing the scene from princess bride where they both are rolling down the hill XD

Their relationship is so great, two strangers bonding in a long car ride… oh wait they already knew each other? They were already in love from book one? But Megan’s memory was wiped- WAIT NO THEY WERE IN LOVE AND HER MEMORY WAS WIPED!?!? Okay, okay, it’s fine at least they became close again, just a fresh start nothing to worry about… HER MEMORY WAS WIPED A SECOND TIME!?!? TALON THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD!?!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (this is so tragic but I love it so much)

Talon nooooo why the tragic backstory ;-; (I love it very much)

Oh and the art? I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! I love Talon’s design!!!!!! The drawing of him saying happy birthday to himself makes me so sad ;-;

Also question time!

Do you have designs for the sci fi ppl? Are they like aliens or just advanced humans chilling in space? Does Talon hide his tattoo? (I love that type of angst so much mhm hidden scars [in this case a tattoo tho]) and you said there was an image limit… could I see those drawing you couldn’t show? Also why is it called Tegan (is it bc Talon + Megan = Tegan…)? That should be all of my questions…

Anyway I absolutely love this story and please feel free to tell me more whenever! (I’d love to hear a lil more about Ivan too)

Again really sorry abt deleting the ask ;-; I hope you have an amazing day though!!

(I feel like I’m forgetting things I wanted to mention but idk)

Oh my I wrote out this whole thing and it deleted it for me hahaha let’s try this again

No worries about deleting the ask it happens hahaha and it doesn’t look like you got anything wrong so yay!

I’m gonna answer this paragraph by paragraph

-IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT and I’m pretty sure I have either the original google doc or a “Megan’s POV” doc that I can look into to give you those details :)

-I’m so glad you’re obsessing so we can be in the same boat

-I’ve been mulling over that car scene for years and somehow you managed to squeeze out even more serotonin for me to devour I thank thee. And I think it’s run down ish, like people are still there but WW3 is kind of happening/ just happened soooo you know

-it would be the vibiest ^^

-I’m so glad you said that bc I couldn’t connect the dots as to what that scene reminded me of but yeah that’s amazing

-IKR the mind wiping rocked my world. My friend was at the point where she was writing the post separation explosion and we were on face time and she casually mentioned “oh you know the cars weren’t the first time they met, right?” I went feral trying to get all the info out of her hahaha

-yes his backstory makes me so sad…

-I’m glad you like the design! It was our group’s “hot guy” design hahaha I’ve tried to make it more individualized to him over the years tho, and that happy birthday one gets me every time (especially since that’s probably how he spent most his birthdays…)

Yay Question Time!

-I believe I could at least get the designs for those people sometime soon. They are just random people who decided to work for big bad (aka the voice, bc they only heard his voice through speakers at first). The voice decided he could make some good money abducting children and forcing them to be assassins so he did that. The government doesn’t know about them bc they hide in space. The few organizations trying to take them down are the only ones who really know about it

-talon has a few different tattoos, the one he got initiated with is a tattoo/ permanent burn so it has to stay covered to protect it, the other is just on his neck and he leaves that one in the open (I can point it out in the pics below)

-and yes! Tegan is the ship name for Talon and Megan (it was that or Melon hahaha)

-Ivan didn’t really have much personality in the oh other than he was angry bc the scientist that snuck into the escape ship was dating his crush, I’ve made some personal modifications to him in my head though making him more protective rather than just angry (he’s also Megan’s cousin) and I just remembered I have a drawing of him? So cue the picture section :)

Picturesssss

Here’s Ivan, the permanent third wheel (he doesn’t know tho)

The first ever drawings of Talon and Megan 😬

Moving on… idk which of these are repeats so lemme know if they are and I could probably substitute them for new pics

And now the og Megan design vs the much needed redraw

Ughhhh the one on the left still haunts me…

I was struck by the limit again so I might reblog this with a few more, idk hahaha

But reading through this ask made me so happy you have no idea (insert the “I don’t normally feel things but that one got through” donnie gif)

Thank you so much and I’ll look into the daily life on the ship and the sci fi guy designs :)

#Tegan #oc #oc story #story lore #lore #oc lore #oc art #jadetheblueposts

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fearlessword · 10 months ago

Text

I’ll meet you in my dreams - Chapter 2

Summary: You dreamed of the boy who played piano before you knew who he was. Humming the melodies you heard in your sleep brought BTS into your life and you thought it was just meant to be.When you finally have the chance to see him perform live, you realize that the dreams you have are more than a coincidence. You hope he dreams of you too.

Slow burn/ Slow build/ canon divergence/ d-day tour / soulmate- ish

Pairing: Idol! Min Yoongi x Reader

Ongoing

Masterlist

Author’s note: Hi tumblr! I’ve been wanting to post this fic here for such a long time! Seriously! I can’t believe I actually did it! I’m so excited for you to read this chapter! I post on AO3 first, but it’s nice to share my work on this platform too! Please send me your thoughts on this chapter, I’d love to hear it. I’ll come back in a few days with chapter 3, but if you want to read it before that, you can find it here. I hope you like it! Thank you for being here!

Chapter 2

February 2023

“…So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, so long lives this, and this gives life to thee…” you read.

“This is one of my favorites, and one of the most famous Shakespearean sonnets. You guys already know how much I love words but in this sonnet…” you pause with a sigh. “I feel so happy reading it, it took Shakespeare only 14 verses to explain how powerful and everlasting words are. Can you imagine how extraordinary it would feel to be the muse of a piece of work like this? I don’t want to go crazy over this, but how beautiful is that? And to see that he was indeed right, the poem does give life to his beloved muse, it makes me want to cry. How beautiful is that? Just think about it?!”

“Ms. _______, you are fangirling over poetry again” one of the students says.

“Well, it is my profession after all! I am also a fan of so many things, it’s the way I function!” You laugh. “But you guys need to agree, it’s beautiful. You should think about writing a sonnet like this to your Valentines next year… Does anyone want to comment on their first impressions of this piece before we go deep into our analysis?”

The students were ready to give their opinions when the bell rang, announcing your lesson was over and stopping the discussion from happening. The backpacks and chairs in the classroom combined in a messy, hustled melody created by your high schoolers. It was the end of the school day, after all.

“ Well, it’s nice to end the day with a hook. Please read Sonnet 18 one more time and write a short comment about it in your reading journals. We’ll discuss it in the next class. Enjoy your Valentine’s day, everybody!”

One by one, the students left the room, leaving you alone with the mess of the classroom. As usual, you organized the desks and chairs for the next day, erased the white board, turned the electronics off and put away all of the supplies in the cabinet. You only left out your pencil case and the piles of assignments to grade. It was Tuesday, but the faster you start grading, the easier your Friday will be. Even though being a teacher means that you eventually (or always) take work home, you made yourself a rule that you’d avoid working during your weekends. Also, no teacher wants to grade anything on a Friday afternoon. It’s not like you have anything to do on Valentine’s day, either way.

You directed your attention to the desk and a huff left your body as you thought about the few hours of unpaid work you had ahead of you. You didn’t know if the gray Tuesday made your situation worse or better. You tried to see it with a positive attitude: at least you wouldn't spend the next few hours inside, admiring a perfect sunny day through the windows of your classroom.

Before sitting down to start grading, you got your phone and your airpods in your bag, you didn’t bother to turn the airplane mode off, and, to be honest, that was probably the best option if you wanted to really focus on your work. A playlist of your favorite songs is the one selected for the occasion. You put your phone away, grab your green pen and start.

When The Truth Untold started, you were halfway through grading. You couldn’t help thinking of how unlucky you were. BTS came into your life only during the pandemic, which meant no concerts, but lots of content and late night meme videos and Korean lessons that distracted and helped you when you needed the most. When the concerts finally happened in the US, you were out of the country to complete part of your Masters in Literature in England. It was more than a dream come true, from visits to the Globe to visits to the lakes and all of the places your favorite authors and characters saw long before. It felt bittersweet. The timing was just wrong, and now, it felt like the chances of seeing all seven of them just escaped through your fingers. All you could do was wait. Wait until the seven of them come back, and trust them. It was hard, but was there another option?

Just fans understand how hard it is.

Alright, you need to focus on the grading.

The playlist kept going as you corrected and graded and wrote comments in each of the papers, carefully analyzing the work of your students. Every once in a while, you’d laugh at how they expressed their opinions on their essays. How fun their snarky comments were! The piles of paper were organized into folders. Thankfully, in less than three hours, the work was finally done, (until the next time, which will probably happen sooner than what you want.) It’s half of the week, and finally time to go home.

Winter was unusually warm this year. Still, the short walk from the school to the subway station felt longer because of the cold air. It wasn’t too cold, but it wasn’t comfortable either. The hot mass of air that embraces you as you enter the station is welcomed, at least during the colder seasons. The station was packed, it’s always a struggle when it’s peak time, but on days like this, when the busy people of the city go out to dinner to celebrate the existence of their love life, it is just the worst. When the train came, you found a spot where you could stay, close enough to the door so you could leave it three stations later.

You hope there is a seat for you in the Q train that will take you to Brooklyn. Deep down, you know it’s hopeless. At 6 pm Times Square station is filled with both New Yorkers and tourists. You could differentiate them easily, from their clothes to the kind of demeanor they have. The empty eyes were usually the giveaway whether someone was a New Yorker or not. You hoped you had the same curious eyes you had when you first moved to NYC for college, but you understand that, as much as you love the city and all it means to you and your journey, routine takes some of the magic away. Right now, you bet your face gives away your exhaustion too, if there’s someone watching you, you’re sure they know you live here.

People watching was your favorite pastime during your commuting time: imagining what each one of those people was like, their dreams and hopes, if they had any. Today, you could see a considerable amount of bouquets in the train, and it makes your imagination go wild imagining what expects these people once they get to their destination. You try not to get caught while you look at them for the next 30 minutes, then, you leave the train and walk home.

You were fumbling in your bag in a failed attempt to find your keys when the door of your apartment slammed opened.

“Where the hell were you?” Your roommate demanded.

“At the school, Cami.” You answered as you took your shoes off and went inside.

“ Why weren’t you answering your phone? I called so many times.”

“I was grading papers”

“On Valentine’s Day?”

“It’s not like I have a date”

“______ you seriously need to do a better job at answering your phone” she huffed. “I was freaking out here”

“Is everything okay? Are you okay? Is my family okay? It was in airplane mode and I just didn’t care to check it after I left the classroom.”

“Everybody is okay. Well, emotionally I’m definitely not okay. I’ve been freaking out here since I got home from work. Seriously, we need to communicate better so we can actually leave school together, we can grade here! Why do you have to stay there so late anyways? I needed to talk to you and You. Weren’t. Answering.” She paused. “Why am I freaking out? It’s not like it’s something I care about. Oh my God! Maybe I care about it because you care about it." Camila pointed at you. "What is happening to me?! Am I literally freaking out on Valentine’s day because of a tour of a guy that I’m not even interested in? I promise I won’t be alone for Valentine's day next year, I need a date to look forward to instead of getting crazy over a K-pop man. This is the worst day of my life!” Camila rambled while pacing in the living room

“Did you say tour?”

“Seriously? That’s all you heard?!”

“You were saying so many things”

“Alright, sit, and please, I am begging you to turn the airplane mode off”

You do as she says, and as soon as your phone connects to the wifi, hundreds of notifications pop on your screen, including notifications from the Weverse app. Your heart jumps. One of the members of BTS on tour? You opened the app.

SUGA | Agust D TOUR

“What?” Your voice was so low you could barely hear it.

“Why are you so calm? Isn’t he the whole reason why you are a BTS fan?” Camila pauses to massage her temples. "Why am I freaking out? Isn’t he the guy you dream about all the time? ”

Yes, he is. You thought. The one and only Min Yoongi. The reason why you became an ARMY in the first place.

Turns out, the mysterious guy from your dreams back in 2020 was real. You've dreamt of him so many times before finding out he was actually a living person and not a figment of your imagination.

After the first time dreaming about him, you were washed with a sense of comfort you couldn’t quite understand. The crying over your ex had gotten better with each dream, simply because the feeling of seeing him in your sleep made you feel happy the whole day and forget anything else.

You could see him… Writing, laughing with the most precious smile, reading, recording at the studio, and at last… playing the piano. A real piano. The first time you heard him, though, he looked younger, but you could still see the same focus and the same passion as he played each note so beautifully. That morning of quarantine, almost a month after the first dream, you woke up with the urge to cry from how mighty the scene was. The warmth of the presence of the boy in the piano was already a familiar feeling, but actually listening to his music? Ah, you wanted to stay in that scenario forever. You hummed the song throughout the day, you asked Camila if she knew that melody, just so you could listen to it again. You thought about that the whole time, until you remembered how technology existed and you could just hum the melodies to your cell phone.

It was a BTS song.

And so you listened to that sweet piano melody, and heard him rapping for the first time. And searched for the names of the guys in the band. And finally, you saw the face of that mysterious man on your phone screen. It was weird that you dreamed of an actual person that turned out to produce music before knowing the person actually existed, right? Why you were dreaming about a korean idol and why it made you feel so content was a mystery to you. You tried not to dwell on that, realizing this was the way the universe sent BTS to you, when you needed it the most. And slowly, moving on from your trauma was easier. Letting your ex-boyfriend go was getting simpler each day. You finished that letter (Was it a letter or a novel? With the amount of pages you wrote, you didn’t even know anymore) and just let it go. Yoongi helped you, the boys helped you, and they didn’t even know.

Sometimes when you watch stuff, you get washed with the sense of deja vu. But it is what it is. Yoongi keeps popping in your dreams from time to time, you started to write about him and you irresistibly became an ARMY. How could you not?

“Earth to ______'' Camila snapped her fingers in front of your face “ I thought you’d scream! For God’s sake, I did! Why aren’t you freaking out when I am? You are the fan!”

“Sorry, Cami, I just don’t know how to react. You know how much they all mean to me. But with him… I just can’t believe I’ll finally have the chance to see him” your eyes burned filled with tears.

“Oh, amiga… We will try all we can to get you the best tickets. You will see him play the piano in front of you. I know how much this means to you, how much you changed after you became a fan. I will make sure it happens. I promise.”

You looked at your friend, sitting by your side on the pink couch you insisted on buying for your living room.

“You can’t control that, Cami”

“I can’t, but I will sign up for the pre-sale with as many email accounts as I can. I will even buy the membership thing.”

“ You sound like a fan”

“Well, if he helps you so much, maybe I should be a fan, do you think one of them could visit me in my sleep too? I bet it would be fun” She jokes.

“I wish I could talk to him, even in my dreams”

“When you go to the concert, he will look at you and you guys will fall in love”

“Cami, this is not fanfiction”

“Are you really quoting me right now? Well, I will create my own fanfiction if I want to. Nothing’s impossible. It would be great, then next year you won’t be alone for Valentine’s day. Maybe we can go on a double date, cause next year I’ll definitely have someone.”

“I’m not alone, you are literally in front of me”

“You know the kind of alone I’m talking about. Now, let’s make our Galentine’s dinner. I saw this recipe of spinach gnocchi that seems very easy. I want to try it tonight. Then, we’ll have a date with Mr. Darcy.”

“Camila, have I told you that I love you?”

“Te quiero, amiga, but you better answer your phone next time”

🪷🪷🪷

After squealing during the entirety of “Pride and Prejudice”, you called it a night and went to your room. It was late, but you couldn’t stop yourself from checking all of the details of the announcement and texting your ARMY friends back.

It felt surreal. That your bias will go on a tour. That you’ll finally have the chance of seeing one of them. Excitement was an understatement. You could feel your heart beating against your ribcage. You needed to sleep now, but your whole body was already buzzing with anticipation of going to the concert, of seeing Yoongi in front of you in real life.

Instead, you open the Weverse live and watch it. You pay attention as he talks about Slam Dunk and shares about Fashion Week. You worry when he said he hasn’t eaten, you smile with him once you see his reaction to the tour announcement coming out. You are washed with a wave of love for the artist on the screen.

“It’s not good to be delusional, _______” you say out loud. But you are not sleepy enough right now, and it was indeed Valentine’s day, so your imagination starts making up alternate realities of what could’ve been. You get your dear journal and write a poem, a confession.

“Let’s see each other in person, Yoongi” That’s what you hope and pray for.

🪷🪷🪷

Yoongi POV

Yoongi woke up on that Wednesday with that fuzzy feeling on his chest again. He knew this was getting too weird for his own good, there was no way dreaming about a random person he had never seen in his life was a normal thing.

Three years ago, he thought seeing a woman crying while writing was just a way his brain found to deal with his own creative process and the frustrations coming with it. But the story was getting too complex, the scenes were getting too detailed. There’s no way he knew sonnet 18 by Shakespeare by heart to create that kind of scene. He didn’t even know it by heart in Korean!

He couldn’t complain. He was nervous about his solo tour and his album and seeing her in his dreams gave him a warm sensation of calmness. He hasn’t heard her voice many times, so listening to the teacher in his dreams reading that poem with such devotion made him happy. He closed his eyes, still in bed, trying to replay it in his mind. The big smile and kind eyes shining so bright while talking about the sonnet with so much passion… His heart shrinks a little, the good kind of pain, he wishes he could see her for real, if she’s real. She must be. She has to.

He knew that feeling wouldn’t leave him, even if he tried, the warmth, the pull and the want to see her one more time. This would follow him for the rest of the day and he was getting used to it after such a long time.

He didn’t know what to do. Yoongi knew people would say he’s crazy if he dared to talk about this out loud. So, he resorted to his old friends, the yellow notepad and the pencil. And just like the other times she followed him in his mind, he wrote her another song.

To be continued.

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#bts yoongi #fanfic #reader insert #soulmates #yoongi #strangers to lovers #writing #idol min yoongi #min yoongi x you #min yoongi x y/n #min yoongi x reader #slow burn #slow build

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