#this was a sketch from december I finally picked back up lol

[chuudako]

Magnet

[synthshenanigans]

woah hey a year has been passed wowie :0

First two weren't posted here cos they were too long ago & not CJish related but love the way he took up 70% of the year lol

[ Full images + templates below :} ]

[TW for Bright Colors, maybe blood & very very vague themes of depression/suicide for like 2 drawings I believe]

Long text about the arts if anyones actually curious!!

January: An old OC I completely forgot about until making this. He's based on old radio like things :}

February: Played Person 5 Royal last year & drew Joker cos idk he's neat. Fun fact, the same day I fully finished the game was the day Storm & a Spring came out. Also while grinding in the game, I had his Bidding & VoaC covers on repeat. Which was a bit annoying to do since they weren't on Spotify yet & YT on mobile didn't have looping then.

March: The Hawaii Part ii album cover :} I did post that eventually but that's the time I actually made it. Had listened to TME a couple of months before then which got me into the album, so months later I drew it cos why not? [Also the month Vol.1 fully released on everything. What's funny is my gallery for that day was a handful of memes I saved at 4am before I fell asleep. And then the next image saved is when I woke up which was a screenshot of the whiteboard in TfaR lol]

April: First main Jash art !!! And its not even with any of the songs from Vol. 1 lol. I had his Moss cover on repeat again & now that all of Vol. 1 was out, I drew Heart in some moss. Or really in the image from the video.

May: Lil animation I made of Heart with the song Don't Hit the Lights! Link to my post & the song can be found here :}. Still really like the song & even the drawings. Might remake em eventually idk

June: Sky/socialc1imb's Clue AU! I like murder mysteries & this one was real interesting so I drew it a lot lol. Might remake that one or one of the others I made at somepoint? It'll be a bit later if I do but ye

July: A redraw of a HMS piece I originally made back in May, based on the Three Wise Monkeys thing. I like the idea of it so I keep wanting to remake it.

August: I honestly can't remember if I posted that art or not. Actually yea I don't think I ever did PFFT. It's one of the few drawings I did of myself this year & its from CJs Not Perfect cover [as you can tell by the lyrics on it]. Also one of the very very few vent-ish arts I made. I like the background more than anything but its still neat ig?

September: Art for one of the best songs ever. I love Fine, I'm Fine its so good & I listened to it for like 70% of the 20+ hours it took me to make the drawing. Still proud of it so there's the sketch I drew on paper, the one on my tablet & then the final versions.

October: There was a lot from this month due to Jashtober. I still like this one lot & it wasn't insanely rushed so I picked this one to show lol.

November: I have no idea why I made a fun lil soul. I was having an identity crisis over my art style & ig decided to draw the guy who is a walking identity crisis/j

December: Same as September. One of my favorite songs ever was covered & released, so I made a drawing like everyone else lol.

[lovejosephquinn]

Since it’s getting closer to that time of the year, do you think you could write something about Joe during the Christmas season? It could be something fluffy like decorating the tree and baking sweets during your first Christmas together OR possibly something a little more spicy with the idea of Joe playing Santa and it goes along with the “Santa Baby” song ?

I’ll let you pick which one you want to do bc I’d be happy with either scenario! You always do such a wonderful job so whatever you write I know will be amazing 🤎 (I wouldn’t be opposed to you somehow combining both ideas into one if you wanted lol)

I love this 👀 oh my goodness. I changed it round to fit a particular silly Joe being his chaotic self. Mainly fluff 😋

Are you readyyyyyyy

Thank you for your request angel x

You were both covered in glitter and excess tinsel, you'd just finished decorating the house and practically yourselves. Your first Christmas in your new home together was officially beginning.

It was December 1st, Joe insisted you'd go out and get a tree together today and that you did, the biggest one you could possibly find. You'd bought all new decorations for it, lights, stockings, baubles, a wreath for the front door, the lot.

You watched Joe have arguments with the tree at least half a dozen times, saw him yell at the Christmas lights when they tangled themselves together, getting himself mangled in them in the process, give up with them twice and then go straight back to them pointing his finger and threating them to go in the bin if they wouldn't cooperate and then give the baubles a little telling off from the carpet when he didn't hang them properly on the tree. Within 20 minutes you'd given up helping because he'd rearrange anything you decided to do anyway.

He decorated you with the left-over tinsel after whilst you were snuggled with a blanket and a hot chocolate, watching the comedy sketch that was your Joey and decorations, wrapping it around you like a scarf, round your head like a bandana and even having the idea of cuffing you to the bed with it.

You hung the matching stockings on a bookshelf because you didn't have the fancy fireplace they have in movies and Joe was determined that he picked you up to place the star on top, informing you that this part was your job, giggling like a child throughout. He left turning the lights on till last, holding the switch and making you count from 5. "It's not the Trafalgar Square light switch on Joey."

"You're wrong, it's the Y/L/N / Quinn switch on." Joe beamed at you.

"5..." He began to count, gesturing his hand to you to continue the countdown.

You rolled your eyes, sitting on the edge of the armchair and shaking your head at the silly boy in front of you, you loved how much effort he'd truly wanted to put into this and knew he was a huge fan of Christmas, so you humoured him.

"4. 3. 2. 1." Joe flicked on the switch and the whole of the living area along with the tree lit up beautifully. "Tadah!" Your eyes sparkled gazing around the room and Joe quickly darted over to you, lifting you up from where you sat spinning you around and giving you a sloppy peck on the lips. "It's Christmas, baby!"

You giggled at his elation. "It sure is, my love."

He put back down to your feet and cleared his throat for the final display of spirit. "Alexa, play Christmas music."

The device obeyed and began to play Santa Baby.

Joe pushed you to the seat, giving you the most awful lap dance, shaking his hands about in the air and shimmying his shoulders around whilst putting on the worst Kyle Minogue impression you'd ever seen; making you cry into fits of laughter

"You're crazy, Joseph Quinn."

"Crazy about you, maybe." He stuck his tongue out at you, slipping into the armchair next to you in which you adjusted yourself to sit on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. "So, Y/N, have you been a good girl this year?"

"That all depends on what you're referring too." You placed a soft and gentle kiss on his cheek, making his already rosy features go pinker. His mouth fell forward when you pulled back catching your bottom lip with his teeth. "Oh no, this pretty girl's a bad elf."

"A bad elf?" you couldn't take him seriously, his straight-faced nod provided all of his theatrical training in that second. You creased at Joe, his stature quickly changing when the song was ending, quickly placing his forehead to yours, as sexy as he was trying to look you were cringing at his vague attempts to make the song sound flirtier than it was.

The words that fell out of your mouth next before you could even think them through made you internally vomit, and you couldn't help but practically bark in his face when you did.

"If I'm a bad elf then you'd better spank me, Santa."

Joe's head threw itself back in amusement, his eyes squeezed shut from the burst of loud laughter, he'd never heard such a thing from you before, the worst part was as awful as it was, he'd be in complete denial if he said it didn't slightly turn him on a little bit.

"That was quick for you, love. Oh my god." He couldn't stop laughing, his head raising back forward to you, tears practically streaming from his big brown eyes. It was your turn to play the poker face now and his laughing quickly stopped when you showed the impassive look.

"Wait, are you serious?"

"Hey, you were the one who wanted to tie me up with tinsel earlier."

He pouted his lips at you, as if the thought had slipped his mind. It hadn't. His heated face turned into a devilish smile.

"Then looks like both our wishes are going to come true tonight." you smirked back at him, ready for whatever happened next.

[everysongineverykey]

I'M DONE. HERE. TAKE THESE CHAPTER 2 THOUGHTS AND RUN, BABY.

so i'll try to go in order here. uhhhh... there's a LOT i have to say. first: toriel giggling sprite my beloved

on that note, ALL THE NEW SUSIE SPRITES MY BELOVEDS

NOELLE YOU'RE SO GAY. I THINK THIS IS PROBABLY JUST BECAUSE I TOLD HER TO IN CHAPTER ONE BUT SHE GAVE SUSIE THE LUNCHBOX FULL OF CHALK!! I LOVE ITTTT

ralsei's, uh... kinda sus. the whole "recruiting" thing REALLY sketches me out. and he looks kinda... smug, all the time, like he knows what's going on.

LANCER JOINED! ROUXLS JOINED EVEN THOUGH NO ONE WANTED THAT! STARWALKER JOINED, TO EVERYONE'S JOY!

LIBRARY PORTALLLL

so before i entered the city there was that pre-city area? that looked very much like the city? except it had different music? and i thought they'd cut welcome to the city and i was SEVERELY disappointed. but then they didn't! just something i wanted to mention

NOELLE!!

throughout this game i went from despising berdly to feeling bad for him to not really liking him again, but not hating him as much as before. he'd better stay the fuck away from susie though

the queen is the best villain. she's the kind you love to hate! she's literally so funny AND her boss battle is actually tough (rip to the king but he just. wasn't a formidable enemy at all lol)

THE GANG CHARLIE BROWN DANCING TO WIN A FIGHT! SUSIE GAINING THE POWER TO ACT THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF WILL! SUSIE FORCING RALSEI TO LEARN TO ACT EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T WANT TO! THAT ENTIRE BATTLE WAS AMAZING! THE "BATTLE WON" END DANCING SEQUENCE! GOING INSANE GOING INSANE

the puzzles in this chapter were genuinely really impressive! i especially loved the word search puzzles and the ice-ee undertale word search reference💙

that being said. the mouse puzzles were SO fucking infuriating. i caused poor noelle a LOT of grief with those and i feel bad.

SPEAKING OF NOELLE!! the scene where she and kris are walking through the puzzle, the one that spells "december", and she's talking about when they were kids, how she loved sneaking out? beautiful. the cinnamon tography <3 also i guessed dess's full name was december a while ago and while i guess it was obvious, it's nice to have that confirmed!

also, i love that susie and ralsei are real friends in this chapter! he taught her a healing spell!!

ugh. fucking berdly. so smug and pretentious. i love queen's desire to be as far away from him as possible though

i also like his backstory. it gives his behavior, even if it's still annoying, at least some context. i get the feeling of feeling like if you're not smart, people will forget about you, and that's scary.

ALSO ALSO. GAMER BERDLY. LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT IS PERFECT. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GAMER!" "i only play mobile games, berdly." "NOOOOOO!" like i ADORE that

anyways. time for me to talk about the only thing that matters in this world: suselle. i mean, did the gays win in this chapter or DID THE GAYS WIN IN THIS CHAPTER?? THEY RODE A HEART-COVERED FERRIS WHEEL AND HAD A HEARTFELT, TENSION-FILLED CONVERSATION!

"did you ever wonder why the real susie never picked on you? well, maybe it's because... when you were both new to class, you lent her one of your pencils, like... maybe a dumb one with candy canes on it or something, and... even though it didn't actually taste like candy, she... remembered your smile." okay god thanks toby it's not like i needed my heart or anything

SERIOUSLY. TOBY "i'm gonna give the gays everything they want" FOX IS BACK WITH ANOTHER BANGER LADS

QUEEN'S BOSS BATTLE! ACTUALLY TOUGH, UNLIKE KING'S! AND GIGA QUEEN! I'M GOING INSANE THAT WAS SO SICK AND SO HARD

the way my heart BROKE when lancer turned to stone good god thank GOD our boy's okay

AND ROUXLS KAARD IN HIS PIRATE DUCK!! WITH HIS LITTLE HAT! DEMANDING THE QUEEN MAKE HIM BUTLER SUPREMETH! I LOVE HIM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF

also!! kris and ralsei's little moment on the swan boat💙 i wasn't a kralsei shipper before but uh... that may be starting to change

it's hard because ralsei's still suspicious but at the same time i love him and want him to be happy. i don't know how to feel

also, if darkners outside of their dark worlds turn to stone after a while, why didn't ralsei? that's, uhhh... VERY sus. very weird. mr fox i need ANSWERS

WE FINALLY HAVE A WAY TO SAVE AFTER WE'VE FINISHED MOST OF THE EPILOGUE LADS. REJOICE!!

seriously the thing that peeved me about ch1 was that the last save point was on the battle stage and if i wanted to play the epilogue again, i had to. do that entire battle all over. BUT NOW THAT'S BEEN FIXED!!

UNDYNE AND ALPHYS HAVE MET UNDYNE AND ALPHYS HAVE MET THIS IS NOT A DRILL UNDYNE GAVE HER A BOX OF CANDIES EVERYBODY SHUT UP THEY'RE IN LOVE ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

ALSO! NEAR THE BEGINNING! I FORGOT TO MENTION THE LITTLE WHITE DOG DOING DONUTS IN A TOY RACE CAR AND BACKING UP TRAFFIC! THANK YOU LITTLE WHITE DOG!

on that note: "looks like a car. this one has a man in it. he waves at you happily." AND THEN THE MAN'S GONE??? HEY TOBY???

ALSO. THE SEGMENT WHERE THE ANNOYING DOG HELPS US FIND THE KEY THROUGH THE POWER OF WANTON DESTRUCTION. THE BEST PLOT DEVICE!

TORIEL TEACHING SUSIE TO MAKE PIE STOP ITTTTT

and yes yes i KNOW kris slashed toriel's tires. that was extremely troubling. but THEY MADE PIE TOGETHER!!

"leave the chalk alone, kris" TORIEL!!

sans and toriel making egg puns and asgore running in and going "don't forget me, your eggs-husband!" is the FUNNIEST sitcom moment type thing ever. GOD.

on the other hand sans let me meet your brother god dammit i'll kill you

METTATONNNNNNN

RUDY... "who got you these flowers?" "is it weird for a married man to get flowers?" "so your wife did?" "oh, no! kris's dad did!" "...not even gonna try to understand this..." TOBY STOP ITTTT YOU'RE GIVING THE ASGORUDY SHIPPERS FALSE HOPE. YOU KNOW YOU'RE JUST GONNA KILL RUDY. YOU'RE JUST RUBBING SALT IN THE WOUND!

NUBERT! MY MAN!

seeing kris repeatedly they-themmed by multiple characters makes me so happy <3 poor kid... "college summer vacation when" "you opened the door with your eyes closed. you saw nothing" kris....

KRIS...

fucking. BLACK FOG STORM IN THE LIVING ROOM KRIS STOP IT. HOW'RE THEY GONNA REVEAL THIS WAS INNOCENT? THE KNIFE IN CHAPTER ONE WAS EASY BUT HOW WILL THEY EXPLAIN THIS

the staticy tv appearing in the dark and a toothy smile slowly fading into view in the center and lingering there ominously for far too long >>>>>>> every hollywood horror movie ever god. GOD

snowy and monster kid checking out the red door. implying there's something in there. something that kris knows about. knowing we won't get any more deltarune content for 5+ years does NOT fill me with determination

also. gaster's symbolic theme being mus_smile. and the final image in the game being a smile. god. gaster's COMING lads.

onionsan hears a song at night... a familiar song... memory, perhaps? or maybe a certain... four-note arpeggio that's hidden in a sound test room in undertale? who knows? guess we'll just have to wait for chapters 3/4/5.

this concludes my ramblings for now, but don't get it twisted- this is FAR from the last post i'll make about ch2. this whole chapter was absolutely amazing! brilliant! showstopping!! i'm genuinely soooo super impressed and excited for the chapter 3/4/5 bundle!!!

[twilightvolt]

Well....that was one way to start a new decade, i guess. >  >’

Ok, from the death and destruction to the quarantine caused by viral disease to large parts of the world literally going up in flames, this year was like an ominous beginning that revealed the true ugly colors of everyone around us.

But there’s something telling me that that was just the universe releasing all of it’s built up rage from the last decade, so to think on the bright side, the only way to go is up now, right?

Regardless, pushing all the crap that happened this year aside, this feels like one of my best years yet in terms of art. i don’t think there’s any wedge of this clock that i wasn’t completely satisfied with and i had a TON of tough decisions on what to put in said wedges cuz i just luved almost everything i’ve created this year.

If you’re up to it, i’ll have my usual month to month reflection under the cutoff, but if you’re not, i hope to keep giving y’all even better art next year! ^  ^

So without further ado, let’s review!

January: ~ Days ~

Runner up: Team Solar Rises Again! (drawing in celebration of PMD finally returning with a remake of the first game)

Kicking off right where 2019 left off, i was hot on the heels of my Beastars phase, still cranking out countless drawings and doodles, mostly featuring Legoshi, and even hanging around the Beastars Amino and making some new friends there. this piece in particular i think encapsulates what i was mostly doing at the time, making up stories and stuff within canon to give myself more wolf boi content. which is something that i rarely do normally since i’ve mostly just done OC related writing before this.

February: - Sk8ter Wolf -

Runner up: Re:Hukaro (That thing i drew for Moon)

Ahh yes, the day i peaked with punk rock energy and created something in a highschool notebook sketch style. ngl, with the release of Beastars’ english dub on the way and the fandom quickly growing, i felt like i was on fire with the amount of stuff i was drawing. i felt so inspired and things can’t possibly go bad.

Or can it?

March: We Can Be Heroes

Runner up: One More Day, Emo Bird Boi Sketchies

Ahh yes, the month the worldwide quarantine started because they discovered the virus around this time. from this point onward, time pretty much meant absolutely nothing since i was stuck indoors for a majority of the year, only going out if i had to. on top of that, i tried a little attempt at a fandub and got picked on immediately by yahoos on Youtube. it...wasn’t fun.

I tried doing a little challenge i made up called Animarch where i drew a drawing representing anime i liked every day, but i only got about 5 days in i think? ehh, whatever. i did try, so that means something. lol

April: - ANOTHER SIDE -

Runner up: BEAST CROSSING ~Legoshi & Raymond

This was pretty much the final month i drew anything Beastars related as i slowly started shifting back to Pokemon due to the wait for season 2. but not before getting the new Animal Crossing and drawing a thing with Raymond and Legoshi that would blow up with hundreds of notes and interactions across every platform i posted it on. lmao

Regardless, i feel like Another Side was a perfect way to end that phase of my art journey. it’s like a nice finale to a long string of ideas that i will totally return to once season 2 drops next year.

May: - KOUJI -

Runner up: Fashion (that sketch of Alex and Jet in casual clothing)

What happened this month again? oh right, i went back to Digimon for a hot minute cuz i continued playing the copy of Cyber Sleuth Complete that i won from a giveaway on Twitter and created Alex and Jet, my latest Tamer and her Hawkmon partner. i should really do some more stuff with them.

ANYWAY,

June: - DOUBLE TROUBLE -

Runner up: “No Time to Waste! HENSHIN!” (AF attack against IonicIsaac on Twitter), Cafe Mix ~Ace, Yagami, Lance and Seliph

Art Fight. third year. and this time i kicked things up a notch and beat my old record from last year!...after uhh....cramming in 8 attacks at the very last night and totally going insane from the amount of sleep i lost. ^  ^’

But trust me when i say i will NOT do that again next year, i swear.

July: Squad Up

Runner up: Comin’ Out to Stun (Jet the Hawk sketches)

So after playing and beating PMDX, i started fleshing out Lance and Selpih’s characters and made more art and stories surrounding them and the rest of the team. one of those being a drawing for Mystery Dungeon Day, which happens the day after Odaiba Day. which is in August. why did i put this down for July then? some questions just don’t need to be answered.

August: - TOGETHER -

Runner up: In the Storm

You can tell by now just how uneventful life was this year cuz i have literally nothing else to talk about other than the art parts. no life issues, no big adventures like moving or something. just....indoor stuff.

It’s...kinda sad, now that i think about it. but hey, at least i was making the most of my time, trying new things and getting around a bit more.

September: Small World

Runner up: Rescue Together, PMD Forever!, Midnight Adventuring, Down Time

So this year, i turned 21, which a lotta people say is important. not really, if you can’t do much i guess. though, i did crank out a ton of art i’m super satisfied with as you can see by how hard it was to frickin’ pick one to use for this month’s wedge on the clock.

October: Feathers of the Shadows

Runner up: PAPERMOON - Final Mix - (not picked because it’s a touch up of an older drawing)

Hoo boi, this month was crazy. cuz i drew a whole lotta e d g e .....and a whole lotta Murkrow. lol

It was fun letting my inner edgelord out this month. even if nothing really significant happened in reality.

November: ~ One More Game ~

Runner up: UPokerap Project: Frogadier, - LEAF STORM -

This month....was actually kinda rough. it was basically me falling into a depressive episode after a scare at the dentist made me worry about my self image and insecurities again. but this time it really hit me just how much permanent damage i’ve done to myself in that aspect of my appearance. i know i shouldn’t worry so much, but it’s not great when people tell you to smile when the most i can do is grin since i’m just so....unhappy with my teeth.

But then around the end of the month, i stumbled upon a Pokemon themed Discord server with people that made me feel....not as alone as i suddenly felt i was. which i’m glad i could meet them even after only knowing them for a month now. if they’re reading this, i hope you know i’m thankful for raising my spirits when there’s still things i just can’t do due to financial issues.

December: Colors of the Heart  + Happy Holidays! ~Grovyle ver.

Runner up: ~ After the Battle ~ (the two part KHII anniversary drawing), - XIII -, Sketchmon: Buizel

And now this month. on top of my insecurities, i’ve now been struggling with my frustration with not being noticed as much as i should, watching as some people quickly climb up in following when i’m going much slower. honestly, i feel like the months when everything started lightening up for the world....was when things started falling apart for me. yeah, i know. pretty depressing way to end, huh? i hit 300 before the year ended thanks to the support from my new friends though, so i’m actually pretty happy.

But that doesn’t mean i’m not still scared of the future. i mean i have my teeth to worry about and also my wisdom teeth are coming in. so next few months...might be kinda rough.

Though, that’s not to say i didn’t soldier through it. this month i pushed myself, plowed through as many commissions as i could get to raise money for my new computer and made some of the best drawings that to me, feel like a great accomplishment. even if a couple of them weren’t as grandiose as some of my previous work. it was a big step forward for me as an artist. at least in my eyes.

And i have a feeling....that it can only get better from here.

[kristallioness]

2016 | 2017 | 2018

*quietly sneaks back in*... Happy New THIS Year, my dear followers! In Estonia, we have this saying that if you wish someone a 'happy new year' after Three Kings' Day (the 6th of January), you gotta have a bottle of alcohol with you and give them a drink. *lol*

Anyways, I would like to apologize for the sudden disappearance that happened prior to Christmas. I was just busy travelling back home for the holidays, unpacking and putting away my stuff, watching some great, traditional movies or shows on TV, and most importantly, working on those 2 latest masterpieces that I posted (which barely got 30 notes each.. *sigh*).

But as you can (and probably will) see, the year of the yellow earth pig (i.e. my dad's year) was a rollercoaster of emotions and accomplishments, or lacking thereof.

My creative side seems to have suffered the most due to lack of leisure time. I only managed to finish 3 full digital drawings and left behind several sketches or unfinished WIPs (2 of which are revealed here under the months of June and November for the first time, I intend to finish the Korrasami one btw). At least I got to start 2020 with a completed drawing on the very 1st day, ha-ha! Perhaps that's a good omen for this year?

If so, then I hope I'll find the time to finish the rest of the 2019 Inktober prompts, since I only did 4/31 this past October (even though I'd thought of ideas for all of them). I brought all the necessary drawing utensils and sheets of paper with me, so whenever I'm in the mood, I'll try to sketch another one.

*calculates for the nth time*.. I wrote 18,110 words worth of fanfiction, plus 820 words for the UYLD prompts (making the total 18,930). Technically, you can count another 8k+ in there, since it comes from that unfinished story (of Aang taking care of a flu-ridden Katara, as illustrated by the September sketch), which I haven't finished within the last 4 months or so. Plus, I barely wrote 1/5 of the amount compared to 2018.. *hides in shame*

Then again, I was an excellent pupil for picking up an actual book and reading through 150+ pages (which means I have ~300 pages to go). I'm talking about the new Kyoshi novel that came out. As I once said, I haven't voluntarily read a book in years make that 2 years ago (most of the reading I've done in my life is either Tom & Jerry comics, now the Avatar comic trilogies and art books as well as fanfiction online, or compulsory reading during school). But this novel is freaking fantastic superb!

Not only that, I bought all the new comic trilogies and managed to read them through. Damn, did they give me feels.. especially "Ruins of the Empire" (ngl I squeed so hard when I saw the Korrasami farewell kiss on the 1st page of the 2nd part). I can't wait to read the 3rd part this year!

However, I failed to rewatch Avatar last year, and I haven't seen Korra since.. 2016, I believe? Wow, that's 4 whole years.. But I intend to fix that mistake starting from 2020. Hopefully I'm in the mood to start my rewatch this weekend tonight. *fingers crossed*

But as I said, I had much less time to focus on my hobbies since 2019 was the year for finally moving on with my life (sort of, I'm still working on it). I still remember how down I'd been feeling for a while and how valid those emotions really were. The first quarter of the year (+ like a month or two) was a continuous descent into desperation and feelings of utter failure, which already started around the 2nd half of 2018 and only continued to deepen around that time.

Everything began to change when I was first chosen to be part of a 2-month summer internship in an IT company, and I had to start building a new nest in a new location in Tallinn this May. And now, I feel like I've hit the jackpot by getting a permanent job in another IT company this October.

I got the opportunity to work in two different fields, in two different teams within a year. I met some awesome colleagues (a lot of whom are foreigners) and got the chance to really put my English skills to the test.

Thanks to the new job, I also had to go to a free health check, which went really-really well. Despite my nervousness in the beginning, I feel much more relaxed about my physical (and mental) health, cause the results showed that everything's okay (something I'd been worried about since March 2017).

Speaking of health or staying healthy, there were a few sports events that I went to, too. Our team held the first winter team event (it was the first one for me, at least) by going to do archery in a range on the outskirts of the capital.

I watched the football match between 2 teams of our local league at my hometown together with my dad on his birthday. Our home team won the match and came in 4th place overall in the league this year, which is their best result so far (I'm really proud!). And merely days before I started work, I visited the Tallinn International Horse Show for the first time (also with my dad). I last got to watch horses jump over fences or dance to their musical programs ~ 10 years ago, and I loved it!

Event-wise 2019 was pretty full of them. As has become tradition, I went to the Defence Forces parade on our 101st Independence Day (which seemed rather bleak compared to the centennial, even more so since we didn't have ANY snow at the time).

What will hopefully become new traditions, I visited the television tower on the Restoration of Independence Day (where Uku Suviste gave a free concert in the evening), and went to the Veteran's Rock concert (to honour our war veterans) on our Freedom Square on the 23rd of April (since I'm residing in the capital now, I should be able to go again this year).

To continue with the centennial celebrations (yes, some things are STILL turning 100), I saw and explored inside the armoured train no. 7 called "Wabadus" ("Freedom") in the Baltic Station. This armoured train was one of the keys that led our country to victory during the War of Independence from 1918-1920.

There was an even bigger (150th) anniversary to celebrate in the beginning of July, when I attended our Song and Dance Festival. This was a really important, if not the biggest event of the year. I intend to make a longer post about my experience, cause it's something that you foreigners need to see for yourself. I can't simply describe or put it into words, I have to show you some videos and photos.

But while we're on the topic of concerts, I should mention that I went to 2 more at the beginning of June - Bon Jovi and Sting - as well as 2 that were part of Christmas tours in December - Elina Nechayeva and Rolf Roosalu.

Besides that, I went to 6 different festivals, half of which I'd been to several times before, such as the Türi Flower Fair, Jäneda Farm Days (where I went on my first helicopter ride for my 25th birthday present) and the Christmas market in the Old Town of Tallinn.

The other half is comprised of festivals that I'd been considering going to for a while, or which took place for the first time. The latter applies to the Black Food Festival, whereas the "Valgus Kõnnib" ("Wandering Lights") and the duck rally, both of which took place in Kadriorg, fall under the first category.

The duck rally is a charity event held in the beginning of June. Regular people can buy at least one (or several) rubber bath duckies for different prices, which will then be dumped into a tiny stream that'll carry them towards the finish line. This event has grown more popular each year, and the money the Estonian Association of Parents of Children with Cancer (sorry, long name in English!) collects is donated to the Cancer Treatment Fund.

*wipes forehead*.. Phew! I'm surprised, that's a whole lotta positivity for 2019. I think there's one more important, but seriously negative topic I haven't covered yet, but I feel should be mentioned and explained.

When it comes to politics, 2019 was a complete disaster for us. EKRE (Eesti Konservatiivne Rahvaerakond in Estonian, or Estonia's Conservative People's Party in English) i.e. our populist/nazi/pro-Trump party is in the government as of April 2019, thanks to 100,000+ idiots (out of our population of 1.3 million) who voted for them and gave them 19/101 seats in the Parliament.

No, I am NOT going to apologize for calling them a nazi party, because their main leaders have repeatedly supported ideology that's common to nazis (they use aggressive rhetoric, blame the media for making them look bad, downgrade women, minorities, are racist, anti-semitic etc...). And I will not apologize in front of the people who voted for them, because "thanks" to this, EKRE has dragged our country's reputation straight through a mud puddle (not to mention the scandals that have accompanied 5 of their ministers, 3 of who have THANKFULLY stepped down from their positions) and.. *swears like the British*.. it's BLOODY EMBARRASSING.

I am done being nice, I have at least some kind of prejudice about anyone who supports them or their ideals. And I will certainly not let Estonia end up like America. So that is why I participated in two protest events against EKRE and our current government (because the 2 other parties, who were willing to form the coalition with them, are spineless jellyfish that simply seek to hold onto their current positions of power). I'm willing to take bets as to when our government falls (the sooner the better).

*shakes off the frustration*.. Brrr! So besides that, I guess the only downside to 2019 was my spare time falling back in the list of priorities (which shows in the empty square of July).

2020 is gonna be the year of the white metal rat. I can only hope (and take action so) that it'll be just as eventful, and much more creative than 2019. Thank you all for following me (or lurking anonymously) for so long, especially to the bloggers who've offered me support through better or worse! *raises a glass* Here's to 2020!.. *sip*

[chasedawaybytime]

Quarter II Rants (sorry)

I deserve a good long summer vacation!!

(4/8/19: Samal Island, Davao del Norte, PH)

☕ Quarter I was all about finishing tasks, senior thesis, and graduation. Those three months finally passed and I’m grateful to say I did a pretty good job keeping my shit together. This is my self-report of my second quarter of 2019 with the intention of moving on after six years of my environment molding me into an anxious stem student but who also has the intention of doing art in the future. It was hard juggling two different things, and I bet it will also get harder soon. I flunked my exam to get to my dream uni/arts course. The only doors open for me were science courses but soredemo I’m still grateful for these chances. Maybe the universe is still saying “not yet” to myself for now.

Days after I checked my exam results and the morning after graduation day, I immediately flew south to attend a youth conference with my relatives. To me, it felt like an escape from my problems back home by sheltering myself through the event. There were lots of self-reflection and I can definitely say it helped me made some decisions. Don’t get me wrong, I actually did had a fun time!! No regrets.

(4/9/19: Pithecophaga jifferyi sketches - The Philippine Eagle Center, Malagos, Davao City, PH)

☕ Witnessed Kamikazee and December Avenue music huhu 💕 Feels surreal to hear your songs from spotigy/youtube on replay to live concerts with tons of people.

(4/2919: Kamikazee - HNU Oval)

(5/1/19: December Avenue - CPG Sports Complex)

☕ Did a beach/underwater-themed wedding guestbook commission!! I had fun experimenting different textures for the cover, illustrating a photo of them together, and painting different sea creatures on the pages!!

☕ Had a 20-days summer job at the provincial capitol. They newly built the place and was assigned to a very pretty office. Also met new found friends!! 💕

☕ We did our part for World Oceans Day with a beach cleanup held by Plastic Free Bohol (a local NGO I hope to volunteer more often!!) After picking up trashes, we went ahead to find a good spot to chill/sun bask with my friends.

(6/8/19: World Oceans Day - Doljo Beach, Panglao Island & Bool, Tagbilaran City, Bohol)

Other friends also did a mini mangrove planting project in Bool’s coastal areas!! So proud of my batch mates 💕

As someone who’s taking a college course that mainly covers ocean conservation and marine life (maybe in another post hehe), figured at least participate local cleanups (as if it’s our last haha) even if commuting to the venue’s a challenge, all efforts definitely doesn’t go to waste :)

Quarter II was an experience of taking my longest break and I definitely believe that I deserved that haha! Quarter III starts this month and all college prep should start now. School starts in August so I think I still have time lounging on this cave lol

I think I made good decisions so far and had good realizations during my break. Whatever happens, happens. I did my work and arrived setbacks, but I’ll try and try again no matter how long it takes. I’m also interested in my upcoming field in uni so I’ll take it as a stepping stone to my intentions, old and new. :)

Lalaban po ako ulit.

Hopes and dreams,

- 花 🌸

[nibscribs]

So uhhhh I drew a lot of RWBY this year... only two of these are non RWBY and tbh I could have just as easily put something RWBY for June Template

Retrospective under the cut bc it’s LONG 

RETROSPECTIVE January: First piece of the year! I still like this piece and I think it shows how much I improved from the original version of it. Also I just like looking at it bc it's soft content of my rare pair. I do think I made the rose look photorealistic which looks... bad esp with all the other more stylized flowers, and I got lazy with the bleeding hearts by just drawing one set and flipping them. Emerald's hair also could look better. February:  I made this around GNG week, which was a fun, good time, long before the server imploded on itself. I got really lazy with the backgrounds, obviously, but I do like the poses in this one, tho it helped that I based it off of screenshots from Young Justice. I also just really like how Merc looks in this one. March: March wasn't a very prolific month for art, I don't think I produced much besides this and one comic piece for GNG week. I'm not sure why exactly, I can't find any specific reason why I would be unproductive that month. I'm gonna just assume I was drained from work all the time and didn't have the energy to put out good art, and also I was getting into a slump bc all my art was starting to look same-y. This piece isn't very good, but I chose it because I did it without a reference, and at this point that was going out of my comfort zone. It's obviously not super dynamic, but at the very least you can tell I intended there to be motion to it. April: This also wasn't a very prolific month for art, not as bad as March, but for the same reasons. I was also really starting to feel burnout from the RWBY fandom, specifically wasps and conflict within the GNG server. This was also when the Art vs the Artist meme was popular, and I realized I didn't want to do that meme because my art was too similar and boring, which also brought me down a peg. Though I put out a few good chibis in April, I chose my Mercury redesign bc I was really proud of it. I could never get the Emerald redesign to mesh quite right, but I can say I'm really proud of how Mercury's came out. May: May had me bounce out of my art slump and in full force trying to expand my skills! Specifically exploring painting. Although May was about as prolific as April, what I did create I put a lot into. It was difficult to pick between this and my app of Edison, because I'm really proud of both, but in the end I went with this commission of Mercury because I pushed myself to try and use an interesting perspective for the piece instead of my usual stand still and face the camera pose. Because I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, this was one of the best things I made all year, and may be my favorite piece of the year. June: TIME TO STRESS OUT ABOUT CONNECTICON! So if you follow me on twitter, you might have noticed I made a lot of posts at the beginning of the year low key throwing shade at myself for drawing my oc's instead of more "important" art. Well, that important art that I was procrastinating was con merch, and con was the second week of July, so I really had to get my ass in gear to finish merch on time (spoiler, I didn't finish a lot of it on time). This piece and July's piece are both posters I made for Connecticon, and while I like July's much better, that doesn't mean I find this piece bad. I really should have known that no one at con would realize it was a goonies reference tho -_-; I also lost a lot of love for this piece after season 6 of Voltron, which I watched while I was about 60% of the way through this piece, so I had to force myself to finish it. July: I love this piece!!!! Don't get me wrong, I know it has flaws, but look at it! The lines are so crisp, the colors look good, Roman and Merc's expressions are mwuah chefs kiss, and I just love all of them!!! ... except for Neo. I really didn't do her justice in this piece, her hair is too fluffy, her head is way to oversized to the point that she looks like a bobblehead, and her eyes are too close together. Really if you take out Neo's head that whole problem goes away. I also love all the tiny details I put in this one, from emerald's chaps to roman's rose to Neo's lace parasol. You can tell I was way more passionate about this piece than I was about the Voltron piece.  August:  pretty sure this is when I quit my job cashiering, and thank god bc customers suck. If I was going off of sheer popularity, Chibi Pyrrha would have taken this slot no contest, and while I love chibi Pyrrha, I don't think it was the best of the month. I chose this little princess and the pauper au doodle because I tried a year ago to draw these two dancing, and it looked like dog shit. It was flat and ugly. But this has motion to it, and even looking at it now makes me feel warm and happy inside. It's just a good cute drawing of my otp. September: My piece for the RWBY tarot project! I have a lot of mixed emotions about this one. on the one hand, I love how mercury looks, his expression, the lighting, the visceral gore from his legs (ESPECIALLY THE VISCERAL GORE ON HIS LEGS) and the hands of the undead, all look stunning and I don't think I could be more happy with how they turned out. And then we get to the background. The caduceus isn't the worst thing ever, but it's severely lacking in quality compared to the rendering on mercury in front of it, and a lot of it is clearly pixellated from me trying to stretch and squash it just right. And the fire is a hot (no pun intended) mess. It's flat, incoherent, and doesn't lead the eye anywhere. It's a shame too because I wanted to do more with it, but I a) didn't have enough time or patience to figure out what I needed to do to fix it and b) didn't want to go outside of my comfort level, so I gave up and decided to be satisfied with what I had. October: October was another good month for art, I made a turnaround sheet for Moss, painted a full body (and slightly lewd) Rudy, and made a decent attempt at inktober. Ok, so I got like 2 days in, but I improved a lot on inking from last year! Fun fact! this piece was originally going to be fan art of Lindsay Jones, but after I did some thumbnails to figure out a pose, I thought it would suit White Diamond better, and I could also sell it as merch. I love this piece. I think I captured the sinister mood well, and conveyed the story I wanted to without any dialogue (at least the notes on Tumblr make me assume I did a decent job, lotta people really wigged out lol) I really worked hard to get the lighting right on this one, and I think it shows. My absolutely favorite thing about this piece funnily enough, is Amethyst. I think I just did a great job drawing her and I'm proud of myself ok. Stevens bubble and my trouble figuring out how to get WD's leg just right are the only things that I dislike about this piece, but I might go back and fix those. November: IM SO PROUD OF THIS COMMISSION!!!!!! I worked so god damn hard on this chef's kiss poifect,  and it really shows. I started using a new brush at this point, the Ojing series on Clip Studio Paint, which I recommend and have been using a lot since. I've also been using this shading technique since drawing this. I love how it sort of fades out but it's still really crisp. I also love all the little details that give this piece character, like her shoes and the stripes on her jacket. This piece really takes a lot of the stuff I learned over the year and combines it into one piece, and I could not be prouder of it. I have absolutely no problems with this one, though I do find the weapon a bit plain, but it's what the client described. December: AND NOW IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!! I had been working on this piece since August, going back to it every now and then and getting frustrated. I'm really glad I came back to it and finally finished it, since I love this pair and I put a lot of effort into it back in August. However, I'm also really glad I completely overhauled a lot of it, specifically the flowers. Though I'm not 100% happy with the mums in this one, they look a thousand times better than the mums I had originally sketched back in August, and were part of the reason I had such a hard time finishing this for months. I also thought it would be nice to end the year on the same note it started; with a flower couple. I've definitely learned a lot since January, and I hope to continue growing in 2019! 2019 GOALS!

Work on backgrounds for the love of god

Draw more stuff that isn't RWBY

Perspective

Make more speed paints and post more to youtube in general

[kopicetic]

Yeah okay so Detroit beat the Fucks at the game we went to and also I had a MOMENT.

So I've been kind of posting about my personal life, which I don't usually do a ton but like I needed to talk this out I guess lol.

Anyway we went on a trip to Detroit for a friend's birthday and it was like a garbage trip all around pretty much. Like just all this shit happened, and it wasn't even like monstrous stuff, just everything adding up and all.

It was like fine traveling with him, we had a good time, but it was getting home, he was gonna drive my car over to the rental car place and then pick me up, and we were in his place when someone is banging on the door.

Like okay, for some background, I know he's in an open relationship with his girlfriend. We've known each other for several years now and she's always accused me on and off of trying to fuck him or steal him, etc. And I also know she was blowing up his phone this whole weekend. Like texting nonstop and calling. I didn't see it, but my friend told me it kept popping up on the car screen lol.

So like the moment I hear the door knocking and he looked up and ignored it, I *KNEW*. So I moved out of view of his door but the damage was done, she saw my back, she banged on his door for fucking 15 minutes and he kept ignoring and texting her until it sounded like she was kicking his door.

So he goes over to deal with her finally, they're both screaming at the top of their lungs, I'm looking for a way out because I don't know where he keeps knives nor did I have anything I could use as a garrote because this bitch is obviously upset as fuck AND she's a fucking meth head so like. I'm gonna fucking defend myself if it comes down to that.

She's standing there screaming about who was the woman in his house, she fucking loves him, he was ignoring her, she misses him, she needs to know, it's not fair, he's yelling about how she needs to go away, fuck off, he's calling the cops, the whole neighborhood 🥫 hear it, I'm debating running through the patio but he was blocking her from the door so she was still facing the house.

Now. This bitch might be a junkie but I can pretty much guarantee I'm likely one of the only redheads they mutually know. Like I have dyed bright red hair. Even a meth head can put two and two together and sometimes get four.

Sure as shit, she messages me. And I admit, I lied through my teeth. Kind of. I told her I only saw him one day, nothing was happening, it was for a pogo friend's birthday (which it was), we weren't dating (which we're not), I haven't seen him since. You know, I figured I'd leave out the part where we fucked twice a day like the entire trip. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

She tells me they were only open so he could have a boyfriend, not another girlfriend, and I don't do polyamorous relationships, I already knew this about them, and it's one of the reasons I have zero interest in dating him.

Like hi, you can have feelings for just me. You can fuck whoever. But if you're going on dates with them too, and talking outside of arranging hookups, and having feels for them too, fuck outta here, I don't care about physical stuff, but if you emotionally cheat on me, you can go to fucking hell lmao. And I told her that, I think we bonded a bit.

Like I don't want to steal your boyfriend, I just want his dick for a while. But you can keep him.

So now here we are. He still is coming off like he wants way more, I still have zero interest in dating him and I don't trust him lol.

But damn the sex is good though. 🤣🤣 So like. Now I guess I'm just gonna keep doing what we were doing, at least until December because we have plans to go to Philly and NYC.

But I don't know that any boy is worth dealing with psycho girlfriends. And again, I know it sounds sketch but I knew he had a girlfriend, and they've both confirmed now that it was open, just she thought it was open for only him to have other boyfriends and not other girlfriends.

Anyway I'm tempted to send the boy back to the manufacturer for a refund because I got a faulty one and start over again because this is becoming too much. Throw the whole entire man out and start over. 🤣🤣🤣

[brynsconsumption]

02.09.2021 - Day 19

Tues blues baby.

I woke up this morning at 7 and laid in bed on my phone for about 10 minutes before finally getting up and opening the blinds, making my bed, and uncovering Junie. I wandered to the bathroom for my daily tooth brush, skincare, and vitamin taking.

‘Tine

Next I bopped over to my desk to do some simple makeup for the day. After that I picked out an outfit, got dressed, grabbed my bags and headed off to catch the bus. Once in St.Paul, we figured out our plan for our next big project in Color. We got started on some sketches before it was time to go. I got on the Campus Connector alone today and headed home. It was really nice to just sit with my Airpods in for a bit. I listened to a lot of The Replacements, a looongtime favorite of mine & my families’. They’re an 80′s rock band from Minneapolis that my dad has loved forever since he’s also from here. We got to go to their last tour in 2014 as a family and it always brings back such good memories for me, and being in Minneapolis just adds to the ~effect~. I got off the bus and finished my jaunt home. It was quite chilly, as it has been, but the bright sun helps it not feel so bad. The music had me in such a good mood that I bought a Replacements tshirt on Depop lol.

Makeups

Once back at the apartment, I unpacked my thing, worked on a bit of homework, and played ukulele for a good while. I also continued to crochet my scarf I’ve been slowly working on since December while watching Regular Show. I’m almost to the series finale! Luckily, they just put iCarly on Netflix so that will likely be my next childhood-nostalgia-based binge. I like to watch shows like that while sewing or doing crafts. Eventually I logged in for Design and Discontents. My group and I talked about our papers and did some peer review. 

Juno looking longingly out the window as I work

After class, I sat on my bed and watched a couple more episodes wile finishing off the last bit of the scarf. Then I realized my roommates’ friend Brendan was over so we all chatted for awhile. I then sat down in the living room to work on a scholarship application and finish off the tassels for the scarf. Lisa and I hung out in the living room until it was time for bed. My Exercise class is cancelled for tomorrow and I don’t have to attend Text and Image so just one class tomorrow yahoo.

Some Numbers:

Steps: 3,657

Total Screentime: 8hr 11mins

Money Spent: $10 on Depop oops

Ingested:

Vitamins

Banana

Chai latte

Cottage cheese

White rice with soy sauce

Zoloft

Media: Tiktok, Instagram, Snapchat, texting friends, Hulu, Spotify

Juno: pellets, water

Overall: Great morning, meh evening, good hopes for tomorrow 😌 mood: meh

Lisa burnt a piece of vegan pizza in the oven 🙃

[leeeovitate]

April 22,2020 3:23AM: It was not intended but this ended up becoming my high school memoir.

I sifted through my old journals. I have been obsessed with notebooks and pens back then, maybe a little bit until now. You see I wanted to be an artist. At least 5 of them were filled with songs and rubbish from cover to cover.I remember the first song I wrote way back in 2007 or 2008. It was called “Putting Traces” and the first I ever played was for my grandmother on her birthday. I played a video of it I recorded with my sister at her dinner party. I don’t think she appreciated it or maybe it just wasn’t any good but she was polite about it. It was called “Thank you for everything”. My first songs notebook was a tinee tiny one with the Eiffel Tower in black on the cover and silver on every page. Then I got obsessed with buying every journal that looks cute or has music related designs or the ones with London and Paris or other European countries that I would love to visit. Then I bought every pen to my liking and spent my lunch money on paperbacks. I was basically a resident at National Bookstore or the stationery section of every mall. I scanned them all tonight, those journals. I forgot about some songs but when I read the line it comes like a flashback to me. That is why I kept writing. It immortalizes the moment. When I play that song, I feel like the emotions turn into concrete and I could go back when I want to feel it again. I was so sure of myself in the songs I wrote before. I knew what I wanted and that was to make music. Maybe I had that dream of being magically sent a record deal. I wanted to have a world tour before 18 but the world was never in my favor. I remember setting a deadline and counting down like Lena did on Beautiful Chaos. I think I also set it on 100 days but nothing happened.

High school is the best years of my life. I remember one of my friends borrowing my songs journal and told me all my titles sounded nice. I have one friend who writes fiction, legit ones and we would talk after class until our fetch arrives and then we’d talk more on the telephone when we get home. I don’t have that in medschool. One time, our teacher made us do a school project. It was to write to a novel incorporating our topics on math class. Epic, I know. I planned it out alright, written everything with a plot but I never finished it and ended up rushing for the deadline. I won’t ever forget that. I loved doing it so much. My fiction writer friend, she ended up writing a sequel for the story she submitted as a math project. Then I also read some of the stories my classmates made. I felt surrounded by talented people and it felt really good. Then in English class, junior year we were required to have a green journal and have at least 3 entries per week. It could be a diary entry, poem, essay, sketch, whatever you like. We also had drama class. I remember saying the lines “The cat sat on the mat.... etc” with different emotions. I freaking nailed it. I loved it so much. The we were also asked to advertise a specific product we made up by pairs. Ours was a perfume and I played a fairy. The nicknamed me “Mama Fairy Tree Rapunzel Country Girl”. I had really long hair and used to braid it. Then I played guitar singing country songs. We also assigned ourselves to greek mythology characters, mine was Gaea. I was also quite tall back then and they say my limbs were long so I was like a tree with roots to the earth and that is where they all came from. We had to write a play for our final project. I was “musical director” and I was not good at my job but I freaking enjoyed it so much.

The senior year we had lit classics and we just have the best teacher on mythology and poetry. Wont ever forget him reprimanding me for reading “statue” wrong. Freshman year, we have 2-hour PE classes and the last hour was spent however we wanted. We would play and sometimes we would just sit around our teacher’s cassette player singing along to our favorite songs while the wind is blowing at the topmost floor of our high school building. Oh what I would do to go back. There was a time when I chose a ribbon as prop for gymnastics practical exam and danced to Avril Lavigne’s “Freak Out Let It Go”. I hated individual stage work but it was something we all had to do and my high school crowd were not mean. I used to choreograph dance routines, unbelievable if you see me now but yes, I remember when I did that. I would do it all over again. I have that one friend, the least I expected of all, who got into kpop. It was epic.

When we are feeling lost, our CLE teacher taugh us to open the bible at a random page and read those two sheets spread open. Whatever we have bothering us, God’s answer are within those pages and it is up to us how to interpret it. I think it also became a project like we were meant to do it everyday for a month or something. She collected money for a journal but it was never delivered though. I have no idea what happened. We also made a promise to meet in March 2020 or 2021 as a class but I think everyone forgot about it or are just too busy, these days. In high school, we made so many films too. Man it was great. You probably could already tell how much I enjoy acting and the I have this friend who is a really awesome video editor.

We also had the best advance chemistry and advance physics teachers. One time at the physics lab, I was busy reading my some Paulo Coehlo I did not notice that I got called in class. That was epic. My teacher threatened to confiscate my book, thank God she didnt. My only argument was “This is not a pocket book, Ms. Violeta.” Our statistics teacher, freshman year who entered the congregation of nuns kept saying “K” in class. It was really funny, my friend and I tallied the number of times she said it until we ran out of scratch paper. Would you believe that the highest grade I got in high school was in Geometry and the lowest I got was in Calculus? Lol I turned in an unfinished Calculus final exam because my tummy was upset but my teacher won’t accept it. I could not tell him what I was feeling at the time so I shaded the letter C in every item and I kind of flunked the exam. I was not that frustrated though. I was never the grade conscious type.

There is this cafe we frequented back then, It was called “Book Latte” and we got membership cards so we could rent books and chill in secluded spots. The place was really fancy but not that wide. Pizza Hut on the same mall became “our spot” with someone I used to consider one of my best friends. One of our friend’s became our go to for schoolworks and shooting videos or movie marathon. In math class again we had to do a song adaptation with video. We did a remix but Fall for You by Secondhand Serenade will always remind me of that. It goes “because tonight will be the night that I will study math over again don’t make me change my mind”. There was a competition in relation to Buwan ng Wika or our Foundation day every august. For the first 2 years of high school it was song adaptation and for the juniors and seniors it was song composition. For the first year, we did Awit Ng Kabataan by Rivermaya and my author/video editor friend wrote the lyrics. I think we skipped on sophomore year. I was not yet comfortable with exposing my songwriting in general at the time. I struggle with confidence issues until now. They assigned me for our junior year. I did it on guitar and piano. I had piano lessons when I was 9 but I did not appreciate it until years after. Our Environmental Science teacher who used to be in a band helped us out abit and they were rushing with the deadline for the song, I kind of backed off. My clubmate did it instead. Senior year, Had the song done early and we got first place. I was truly grateful.

I joined Guitaristas club freshman year. We were assigned into tutor-tutee. I was a tutee of course. I was assigned to someone who was like the great guitar player who was in a band and I was crushing on. He was so nice and he taught me guitar. I wonder if he still remembers me though. I don’t think he’ll recognize when we see eachother on the street. The the club changed it’s name to Tokata club and I spent two years there. We once played Back to December as a band on family day. The guy on drums is someone I was crushing on. I nicknamed him Orange because he told us about Battaglia delle Aranche, not sure if I remember that correctly. The past years I hated waking up early. Most often I’m late for class that they made me class monitor for like 2 years or so. I hated staying at home and I would wake up early. Some days I get to school at about sunrise and he would be there too. That was how we became really good friends and I became close to his younger brother too. My senior year, Speakers zone. It was a new club and it was accidentally not included in our new club ballot sheets. I think they accidentally printed out the old ones from last year. Our english teacher told us about it and only like 7 or 8 of us joined. All from our class. Every monday morning, we had to do a news report after flag ceremony. We were assigned sports new, weather, current affairs, celebrity, etc. It scared the shit out of me, stage fright and shit. I wanted to get over that so I forced myself to audition for our Literary Musical contest, newscasting category and got picked but I lost. I talk really fast and my nerves get the best of me. I was so scared, I wanted to chicken out minutes before the contest. I wanted to walk away from the stage instead of towards it.

We also had monthly trips and my favorite was doing grocery shopping the afternoon before with my groupmates. We assigned to prepare meals and took turns to cook. We went to islands, camps and other educational sites. It was so fun. Although I could not bloody swim and some days I feel sad because of being away from home. I missed 2 trips and forever hating my parents for it. I know they were just concerned but I missed out on alot. It was heartbreaking. I think it was because on our first trip, we climbed a mountain and stayed at a beach and I asked my parents to come over because my chest was aching but turns out I just needed rest. I don’t think I went home with them though or maybe I did, I kind of forgot. I stayed and missed the team building activities but I got to watch the games. Second trip, I missed. They talked about ghost soldiers and stuff. Third trip, we had to swim from one island to another which I couldn’t so I used a canoe, sort of. My mom accompanied us that time, she helped out with cooking and some other things. We stayed for 2 nights and one of my friend’s mom visited us too. Fourth trip, I think it’s that another one I missed. One time, we thought we discovered dinosaur remains, yeah our imagination were that wild. Some of us went fishing and the rest of us stayed at the Marine Biology site. We played ins and one of us tripped on a huge rock which was shaped like a dinosaur’s head. Then we started digging and then we talked about the islands around us making up stories about it. That night, we all slept at the rooftop and had a shadow show. Then we saw shooting stars. One unforgettable experience I had was getting lost in the mountains and getting help from NPAs because they freaking had rifles. It was raining and should have be frightening but at the time, it was more fun than scary and they brought us safe and sound to our campsite. I had a nightmare that night but I loved literally sleeping beneath the stars. I forgot how many trip we went to in total but I am thankful for each and every single one of them

It is funny how I went from a kid with all the big dreams to who I am today.

[naireides]

top 5 and bottom 5 kudos fics

tagged by my favourite furry @prosciuttoe whose fics are always ah-maze-ing and we are #blessed to have her in this hell fandom

rules: tag the person who tagged you, always post the rules, answer the questions, and add the date! 

What are your five most popular works? (in descending order)

1.  But They Ain't Doing It Right (bellarke, 14.9k, posted 29/08/16)

“So,” he begins, running a hand through his hair. It’s a lost cause trying to work it back into some semblance of order. “What is this?”

“What do you mean?”

He doesn’t meet her eye when he says, “Once is a mistake, twice is a pattern,” too busy picking at a loose thread in his hem.

“Wanna go three times and just make it a habit?” she jokes weakly, and his head snaps back up, eyes boring into hers. She flushes under the intensity of his gaze.

“Actually,” he begins slowly, “That doesn’t sound that bad.”

or, the friends with benefits au that got away from me

this was the first ‘big’ fic i wrote for the fandom (as in something with a definitive plot and not an empty oneshot) and it was all kinds of ridiculous

2.  The Giant Squid's Got Nothing On You (bellarke, 6.1k, 07/09/16)

“That is what stalking is though, technically,” says Raven, stirring cinnamon into her coffee. She’s joined her today on her sketching run, and the cafe is packed to the brim. “And it’s not normal either. Soon enough someone is going to show him those drawings and then there’ll be a lawsuit on your hands. And I’m not going to bail you out.”

Objectively, Clarke knows she’s probably right, but she still can’t help but lift her chin determinedly and say, “He is not going to find it.”

She can barely hear her scoff in reply over the din of the cafe. “Yeah right,” says Raven, “The internet is forever, Clarke Griffin. He will find it eventually.”

or, Clarke finds her new muse at the local cafe

my ‘merging my two favourite couples together’ fic. i really, really liked writing this one and i was honestly kinda surprised at how popular it got?? it was completely 100% self indulgent lol

3.  Feel Me Running Through Your Veins (bellarke, 22k, 24/09/16)

The interviewer’s smile freaks her out. “So,” she asks, sounding far too perky, “What’s the deal with you and Bellamy Blake?”

Clarke wills herself not to flush as her brain processes the question. What is the deal her and Bellamy? He’s her sometime friend who argue and bicker like no other but she also craves the taste of him on her tongue. They’re people who sling insults at each other from their respective stages, only to find him later pulling her hair so that he can attack her neck with sloppy kisses. That’s what’s going on with her and Bellamy Blake.

Instead, she gives her a charming smile and says, “Nothing. We’re just friends. Sometimes.”

Next to her Raven begins to cough and Clarke slaps her on the back, perhaps a bit harder than necessary.

or, Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin definitely do not like each other. No matter what the tabloids say.

friends with benefits is one of my all time favourite tropes (which is why like half of my fics fall into that category whoops) and actor aus are one of my favourite aus out there so this was also pretty fun to write. if i could change one thing about it i maybe wouldn’t have switched between the times like i did? but all in all i like this one.

4.  Gimme That Sugar With The Sweet Talk (bellarke, 5.4k, 30/10/16)

“Are you supposed to be me?” he asks, delighted as he pulls on the strings of her hoodie.

She swats him with the Iliad. “Well, it is pretty scary, right? If only I could have gotten the mask to go with it, then I’d be a true nightmare.”

The mirth on his face doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. If anything, Bellamy looks like her showing up in too big clothing and eyeliner dotted across her face as freckles is the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

or, we’re secret friends with benefits and you came dressed as me for a party and it's really, really distracting.

this is another self indulgent fic that’s just straight up smut (surprise! it’s also a fwb fic!) and again, i loved writing it, especially the non smut parts where bellamy and clarke are being their dumbass loser selves

5.  who's scruffy looking? (bellarke, 4.9k, 08/05/17)

“What, the beard isn’t doing it for you?” she snickers at her own joke and then her jaw drops when Clarke averts her gaze, blushing. “Oh my god! You’re totally into his shitty beard!”

“Keep your voice down!” she hisses at her.

i predicted bearded bellamy back in may i’m fucking psychic. okay no, i’m not, it was because bob was sporting a beard at a con that weekend and like clarke, i was both horrified and kinda into his shitty beard because i obviously am Deep in this Pit

What are your five least popular works? (in ascending order)

1.  Remus Lupin: Matchmaker Extraordinaire (jily, 7.8k, 06/03/16)

Remus Lupin, werewolf, prefect, Marauder, now has another title to add to his ever growing list: match maker. Because really, sometimes your friends need that extra little push in the right direction. Or maybe a shove… and a good few hits with a potions textbook once in a while.

i originally wrote this back in like 2013 i think?? it’s funny because this was one of my more popular ones on ffnet but it’s my least popular one on ao3. idk, i liked it when i wrote it, but that was over 4 years ago when i was like 15 so my writing has changed a lot since then.

2. your eyes are like starlight now (jily, 1.2k, 31/12/16)

“The first snow is magical, you can’t deny it,” and Lily grumbled, but she did have to agree. It was beautiful.

Of course, that moment lasted exactly thirty seconds before James squashed a snowball into her face.

-

written for december's jily challenge prompt!

ngl i wasn’t a huge fan of this fic mostly because i haven’t written canonverse jily in years so i can’t really say i’m surprised.

3.  to count the stars (jily, 1.6k, 27/02/17)

seven times james and lily meet on the train, and one time they don’t

... i also didn’t like writing this one and i guess it shows lol

4.  Ready Aim Fire (bellarke, 1.8k, 18/02/15)

Clarke and Bellamy finally come to head over what happened in ton DC

technically this was the first blarke fic i ever wrote but i don’t really consider it a proper fic if you get what i mean?? it was based off of a wishful thinking list i made sometime during s2 that warped into a ‘fic’

5.  so tender and mild (jily, 2k, 01/12/16)

5 Christmases at the Potter-Evans household.

i don’t really have any particular feelings about this fic tbh. i don’t hate it but i don’t like it it’s just kinda... there so it doesn’t really surprise me that it’s here. (not really surprised that the majority of these are jily fics tbh; the jily fandom is constantly on the verge of death, especially on ao3 lol)

tagging @mellamymake @prongsno @gxldentrio and @padfootdidit

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: In The Silence I Hear You

Recently, @skadventuretime, @eerna (JoKay on Discord) and @amberlehcar stopped by to chat about their 2016 Resbang, In The Silence I Hear You! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: Okay, first of all thanks for single handedly getting me to finally watch YLIA lol! My question to madi is, what was the inspiration behind soul's nightmares? Because that was something I noticed was different from the source material! I mean, they were there but yours were way more nightmarish and horrifying lol! (That is absolutely a compliment by the way.) What made you go that route?

madi: ahahaha 1) You're very welcome, that anime Ruined me and one of the first things I did after watching it and Soul Eater around the same time was look for the AU, because surely it had to be a thing. When it wasn't, I was like welp, I know what I must do. As for the nightmare inspiration, it was part Soul having them in canon and part just what sort of came out of me as I wrote. It wasn't planned per se. I tended to sort of let what happened happen at those parts and just intuited nightmares there, though I did sort of intentionally have them stop as he began to open up to Maka more.

Q: I would like to know how Jo determines how many sparkles to put in an art piece for maximum heartbreak.

JoKay: Simply. I just really love sparkles and let them do whatever they want in my work.~~ BD

madi: OkAY. CAN I JUST FIRST SAY MY FAV THING ABOUT JO'S ART. Because the way she did the mirroring is incredible. Like, this is my desktop background. They go together so well:

Q: Favourite moment in the fic or about the art?

madi: I think my favorite moment was writing Soul beginning to get through his block. I ended up having a lot of fun with the over-the-top synesthetic music bits and that part was very heartfelt for me.

JoKay: Favourite moment in the fic: the hospital visiting. I wanted to illustrate it really badly and ranted to Madi like. For days. About all the ideas I've had. It was heartbreaking but colorful and vivid, and the way Madi writes the two is just.... ahhhhhIhhhHHHH

madi: And like, Jo paid attention to the little details?? ? ?? Like, his tie isnt tied there. I just threw in some little bit about how he thought his tie would be crooked since Maka wasnt there to help him and ladjglkdsfg. I forgot about it tho til I saw her art.

JoKay: You threw in so many little details that struck me and I thought "YES I WANNA MAKE THIS A PART OF THE PICTURE SOMEHOW"

Q: Care to talk a little about your process? What program do you use?

JoKay: Sure! I start off with rereading the text I want to illustrate about ten times. I die a bit and try to remember the feeling to capture it. I make a traditional pencil sketch. For the Maka picture I had to take some references of myself with a violin, which... took a long time to get right haha. Next I take a picture of the sketch and do lineart in an app called MediBang Paint on my Samsung. I choose a color palette, pick the bg color, and put down basic colors. I shade, then add multiply and overlay layers to add lighting, and this is where the final palette and overall feeling gets formed. And then, best for last, the sparkles! Which usually take 3-4 layers, depending on opacity I want.

Q: This was a difficult read (in the best way); what scene/scenes did you find most difficult to write?

madi: I ended up going back and rewriting a good chunk of the beginning third of the fic around November/December because it just wasnt getting at what I wanted, tone or writing quality-wise. I have a ~12k doc of dumped/scrapped stuff from this. /cries. But specific scene wise, hm. I agonized a bit over the hospital scene with Spirit a little, because I wanted that to hit a certain kind of helpless sadness where there is nothing you can do to fix anything.

Q: This had such emotional depth to it and lots of moving pieces of grief and accurate descriptions of guilt/grief that hit me hard. Was it hard to write something so emotional and was it as much of an emotional journey writing as it was reading?

madi: I guess, well. writing for me, and I think a lot of people, can be a very intimate look at who a person is, and I think that's where the guilt/grief came from. I tend to internalize a lot of that stuff, especially with the grief/regret/wistfulness, so I think that's where all that came from. And it's funny, it wasnt hard to write in the moment, as I was listening to a bunch of ridiculous music and yelling at/with Bones about her Resbang at the same time, but looking back I can definitely see a journey and it was as much because of the friends I made during this process as much as the act of writing. [For example], around the part where maka dusts off the piano, Bones came in with some Real Piano Experience and helped me understand what actually goes into that and how long it'd take for things to actually lose tone, etc. and I was like, heck, i didnt think about that, having not played a classical piano. Moral of the story is this is why betas are gr9. It's fucking sappy as shit, but it's true. I learned sO much about not just writing, but also life and irl shit from my betababes. Part of my Process turned out to be letting Bones throw me all sorts of cognitive dissonance shit and terrorize me with very emotional music, and then I'd mix a drink and get to it. I stg it felt like I was tripping balls when I wrote most of the music scenes, tipsy and listening to BT. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyGf2mTP2_Y).

Q: That golden swoop in her dress on the right side is what really kills me. That exiting feeling.

madi: So fun story: Jo sent me her second piece a few days before posting and I legit teared up.

JoKay: Handkerchiefs all over the place.

madi: All. Over. I also tried to sort of avoid the awkward love triangle in the anime bc i didnt feel like it really fit SoMa. Also, this is what me and Jo's convos looked like a lot towards the end:

Q: Adverb gate time?

madi: To explain adverbgate, basically, Bones came in and 1) made me realize I overused adverbs 2) this led to me realizing oH by not using them and applying better characterization things, all is better than the first time. I told all my betas, and part of the reason I asked who I asked, [was for them] to not hold back and if they saw something they thought was off or whatever, to tell me and not worry about hurting my feelings because i was in this to improve and learn. I'd much rather have it done like this, because now I really feel like I learned a lot and got better. Bones went from the 98 edits in chap 1 or 2, to 4 [edits] in the last one. And one of them was this: http://imgur.com/R3L4S9b

Q: I wanna know Amber, what made you decide to do a VA project? It turned out so freakin well and you guys were so good T.T

JoKay: The VA was so perfect, I teared up a bit. Beautifully done.

AmberLehcar: I was an amateur voice actor on YouTube prior to joining tumblr (good luck finding anything I was in though. /cries) And I'm a competitve asshole so I was like "I'm gonna be different."

Q: Anything in particular that made you choose that specific scene to do?

AmberLehcar: I asked Madi right away what she wanted. And it wasn't even written yet when I asked lol.

madi: Like, okay, when she sent me the first clips, I was blown away because they sounded better than over half the English dubs I've seen. Yeahhh I uh, I could have been more on top of things. But I knew that scene was gonna be in there and it sounded like the kinda emotional moment that would be good for her project, so I wrote that scene out of order.

AmberLehcar: I love it, it's so good. Madi was there while Brian was recording. She's a director now :3 She heard all the ridiculousness.

madi: You guys were soooo gooood! And your puppy, ahhhh. I still have that laugh track, too.

AmberLehcar: My pup wanted to be a star. I was so nervous [that] the piano bit was so bad people would hate it. It dragged so long. In writing it works so well. Listening, though...

madi: Man, you captured the transition well tho, of him slowly finding his sound and no longer needing to hear it through her.

AmberLehcar: Playing badly and repeating playing badly is tough, dude, so I'm glad it worked nicely.

Q: Did you make a public playlist of the stuff you listened to?

madi: OhH yes, yes i did /slinks off. Not fully included on there is the copious amounts of BT and Stuntin Like Mufasa I chainsmoked: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhw3nWRXdsh-jPe7SXHPy-NOT4-PtY1yt. I also feel obligated to note that Bones did play a p important role not only as beta, but as general conspirator/friend and writing mentor, and being free with her music trenchcoat.

Q: Jo, do you have any art/style/artist inspirations?

JoKay: Yeah! Artists that make my inspiration wander could be found on tumblr as viria, lukrecious, loish, mormoc, also IG mizymiyajima and cyarine. IRL I live for Alphonse Mucha's work.

Q: I feel like we should put an honorable mention for amanda's and zxanthe's contribution.

madi: YES, ZXANTHMANDA'S COVER OF HALLELUJAH WOUNDED ME SO PLS LET IT WOUND YOU: http://zxanthe.tumblr.com/post/157041732943/so-in-honor-of-skadventuretimes-resbang-in-the.

Q: How often do you draw, outta curiosity jo? I remember it being A Lot, but...

JoKay: Depends? If I'm not too busy with school I can make pages worth of sketches a day.

madi: Dark Jo, your sketch books are amazing.

JoKay: Madi, if you saw them, you'd change your mind. They're a hellhole of faint traces of suffering teens and stupid decisions.

Q: Are you working on anything else now Jo? What is on the Horizon?

JoKay: SfTF is the only fic in my opus! Idk I just don't feel confident to write anything else...

madi: (It is a Noragami MMA AU type deal >:))

JoKay: As for paintings... boy does The Lunar Chronicles' fandom have some stuff in store for them once I find the time. I will save up for a proper tablet soon, so that will be a new beginning for me.

madi: Man, the world isnt ready.

madi: I would also attribute this Resbang to teaching me that I apparently can't listen to tone-appropriate music while doing a scene, so that was a learning curve. I ended up with a bunch of upbeart mashups/disney rap during the sad scenes. Like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdSo1oY_GB4

JoKay: It was fun talking to all of you and listening to more behind-the-scenes discoveries of this great fic~

madi: I also wanna take a sec to be sappy again about everything I learned throughout this process from my partners and betas. Y'all are super swell.

Thanks to the creators for stopping by! That ends our AMA Transcripts for the Resbang season - thanks for reading and congrats to all of this year's Resbang participants :) We'll see you all in 2018!

[tamayokny]

On Thursday my mom and I went to the theatre and saw Newsies (2017). Since I was really tired and had school the next day, I promised that I would have shared my thoughts on it yesterday. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to but since I'm feeling better and refreshed today, I shall share!

Also this took me like an hour to type up lol

•I had been excited for this for WEEKS. I begged my mom to go with me, because no one else would. •She said yes and got the tickets ($20 each!!!) I was so happy •We asked my dad if he wanted to go with us but he said no. He kinda teased me about it and he keeps doing this to me still: "Newsies! 🤗" lmao (but I'm also like :/) •So my mom and I go on Thursday, getting there about 10-20 minutes before the show began. There was a big audience tbh (I told you mom lmao) •Oh BTW my mom hasn't seen/heard the Broadway version of Newsies before. She watched the 1992 movie back in December with me, and she was like, "It's ok" (I'm offended lol) •Anyway it starts exactly at 7 and man, my I am SHAKING with excitement and my heart is thumping 💓💓💓 •So Jeremy and Andrew are back as Jack and Crutchie! lil cuties •When Carrying the Banner started and all the boys were out I was like "MY KIDS" •I forgot that Ben Cooks (Racetrack) is only 19 so the pitch of his voice took me aback and I was like "he's 5" but I do love him as Race! •I love Katherine! I forgot how much alike we really are tbh 😂 •The Morris Bros were cute tbh but LEAVE MY SON(S) (CRUTCHIE) ALONE •DAVEY AND LES JACOBS. •Davey Jacobs is my Disney Prince tbh. And I love Ben Fankhauser. I told my pal if Ben wasn't Davey I was gonna be sad (I didn't realize that like, all of the OBC was back ok) •So yeah I love Davey with all my heart 💕 •ETHAN AS LES WAS SO ADORABLE. He stole the show. Everyone in the audience(s) love him. Also idk if it's because of the hair or not, but he lowkey reminded me of Dustin from Stranger Things •Davey's facial expressions / "That's disgusting" 😂 •I know we are supposed to hate Pulitzer or w/e but he was kinda funny lol •MEDDA!!!! •Lol one time I saw someone compare Medda Larkin and Donna Meagle and I was like "omg" bc I can see how. So now Retta has to be Medda in a next show or w/e •Also Medda is Jack's Mom. She's there for him and everything awe man I'm crying thinking about it!!!! She's a Mom when the boys/Katherine need her damn it I need to write about this now!!! •Davey and Les' culture shock/expressions watching the show •Katherine and Jack meeting again, and Jack is instantly heart eyes 😍 still •Katherine when she saw the sketch Jack drew/left for her •The World Will Know / Seize the Day are 2 of my fave songs from the musical btw •Oh and those two Newsies they got to join them??? I'm pretty sure one of them was a Crutchie because I recognized him but damn it I can't remember his name! •When Davey made Katherine upset I was like 😠 •Watch What Happens 👌 I love it •When Crutchie got taken to the Refuge 😔 •Jack's emotions coming out before intermission 😭😭😭

•There's a 15 min intermission so we all take a break. They show trivia and are playing the songs and 1) I get all the trivia right and 2) I'm singing along perfectly ok •My mom is like, ur a fucking nerd lol •I'm updating my pals/twitter and send my friends the "I'm crying in the club" meme bc fuck, I'm crying every 5 minutes. It's so good and I'm so happy

•So act 2 comes around •King of New York!!!! I had to dance to the '92 version of it for my tap class when I was...I'll say 12 years old. I'm p sure that's how I got into Newsies tbh but anyway.... •Oh and that Newsie they picked up too was all like "I WONT BE LAST IN LINE FOR THE TUB TONIGHT" I was weak 😂 •The show has a lot of fantastic one liners and dialogue tbh •Anyway Katherine's lil tap solo and she showed her undergarments I was like "ur so scandalous" LMFAO •Crutchie in the refugee 😭 •"Your friend -- Your BEST friend -- Your brother --" I cry every time 😭😭 •I love the Watch What Happens and yes, • 🎶 THE POOR GUYS HEAD IS SPINNING 🎶 •Did I mention how much I love Davey/Ben? Because I really do lol •lol remember when Katherine got in trouble with her dad? •but tbh it ain't so funny bc of what happened next, as in Jack came in, he finds out •Altho it was a lil funny bc how Pulitzer was about it lol •BTW I like Hannah a lot (she's the Supportive Aunt) and she reminded me of the mom off of Good Luck Charlie 😂 • 🎶 BROOKLYN'S HERE ‼️🎶 •That's another fave song awe they were so great •Newsies Rally: AKA Jack is a Fuckup because He Has a Heart of Gold •Also cute lil Davey tryna stand up (and succeeded in his own right) 👌 •Katherine and Jack meet up, make up, and kiss • 🎶 I HAVE SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN 🎶 •Jack and Katherine invented being in love •Once and For All is the BEST ensemble/song in the musical I'm sorry for telling the truth but DAMN it's amazing! •Oh and Katherine's rich pals helping out 👌👌👌 •I headcanon that the three of them grew up together (duh) and know each other because their dads are huge names (also duh) and the three of them act like siblings (that's the headcanon) •The crew marching up to Pulitzer. Boys outside, Jack v Pulitzer and all that •Teddy and Katherine are in the house •THEY WIN THE STRIKE YAY!!! •Pulitzer offers Jack a job because of his AMAZING ARTISTIC TALENT •"Why would i work for ur dad" "...u already work for him" •Medda/Teddy is my new otp 😂 •THE FINALE‼️ •Jack/Katherine kiss and the boys are shouting •That closing number 👌 •Fuck y'all, it was so damn good. Like I said, I was crying the entire time and I just LOVED IT. 14/10 stars. If ur able to, go see the last show this upcoming Wednesday. •BUT if u can't, I'm pretty sure it's confirmed that they'll release it on iTunes and Netflix, but I'm not sure when •That's it lol

[monarch-moon]

Art Progress 2016

A year which I have learned how to step back and step forward at the same time. More details under the cut.

January- Pages of Hope- Side Quinn Good lord, I couldn't decide which art piece to showcase for January, stuck between the pieces MH!DL- Bnahabro In the Sky, New Year, New Life and the top competitor against the piece: Once Upon A Time. I ended up picking this piece because it fortold how this year was going to be. This was the month where I was most connected with the character, Quinn, who resembled hope...hope that would end up being crushed multiple times later this year. February- AS- Cutting Down Despair The time I remembered how to cell shade again lol. If I remember correctly, this month was when I was still trying out random things as well as going strong with my motivation for Digimon LinK. Behind the scenes, I think Februrary was the month where all I mostly did was random digimon designs and RPing on the forums. They were once my second home when all I have to currently call home is my own bedroom and nothing else outside of it. March- LinK- Ala the Walkuremon I personally feel like I never improve, but with almost every new full piece I dish out, somehow I get better with my shading execution and I don't know how. At the beginning of the month, both ZinyaWolf and FireReDragon came and visited me! The good ol trio got together and did some shit like go to the aquarium, chased geese and all sorts of shit. It was wonderful. A sweet momentary bliss in a life that was slowly getting darker... April- Take the Shot AKA "there was an attempt (to bring Shisenota back)". This was another month where I couldn't decide between several pieces to showcase here, trapped between LinK- The Awakening Storm, CM- Peaceful Nights Out and the simple-yet-beautifully executed LinK- Alternated Vision. I don't have other things to say about this month...other than more RPing, slipping into Mary Sue levels unknowingly, and of course...failed attempts to get a job. May- The first glimpse With certain events from LinK beginning to take ahold of my negativity and my love for the group, I was losing motivation fast. With yet another pitiful attempt to work on Shisenota, I felt that the best thing to work on were the backgrounds. It's not too shabby, to be honest. Can it be better now? Yes. IRL-wise, with LinK dying, we were gonna go back to what we were doing before, which that in itself was still in shambles. It wasn't looking good for us...until an idea began to conduct around the edge of May and June. This concluded the LinK days, and while the ending days were absolute shit, I will miss it. While another story ended up being unfinished, Quinn's main story was more finished than Hukaro's, so I can at least leave LinK without much regret. June- Sans Close-range Mode My official slip into the Undertale fandom of all things, and what did I have to present? A weird sci-fi Undertale AU known as Nextale, which was more or less a semi-Shisenota-esque version of Undertale characters with its own story and characterization that still sets the two series apart. My co-pilot being none other than FireReDragon  , we started out small, gradually gaining followers with interest, but we were still relatively unknwon in the fandom. It was something new, it was something interesting, and it was not only gonna help me improve in some way, it was also gonna help me figure out my own story. This began the Summer of Nextale. July- Nextale- The Crimson Soul Still unknown to most of the fandom, while Fire was busy in summer camp, forced to not work on Nextale, the fate of the AU depended on me. I kept working on concepts and an old set of comic pages in the background, also while attempting to make new friends in the fandom. This was, I believe, when we met some people such as TehRogue, who came to us asking if he could dub the comic when it comes out. Boy how I bounced all over the walls that day. August- Nextale- Page 9 Trashing the old pages and working on fully-colored ones, I finally released the first nine pages of Nextale onto the tumblr blog. I was worried about the reception of the comic, thinking it might be shit because I fucked up somewhere, wheher it would be the AU concept itself or in the storytelling department, and on the day Fire came back from summer camp...something completely unexpected happened. Whoever says that popularity can't happen overnight miiiight be wrong. A couple of bigwigs in the fandom, one being the benevolent Crayon Queen/loverofpiggies and hiimtryingtounderfell/Kaito, found us, reblogged us, and suddenly...we gained over 1000 followers in an hour and then some. Before we knew it....a good portion of the fandom knew what Nextale was. It was then that I found out that this fandom will help me out far more than I thought. To top off the good vibes this month brought about, I also FINALLY obtained a new job at Chipotle! Boy, it would be a shame if the good vibes ended so suddenly, ehhhhhh~? September- In a New Light As I had hoped, with Nextale's creation and progress, it's helped me out considerably with figuring Shisenota out, starting with Kotaru's major redesign! In regards of Nextale and it's evergrowing popularity, every day was like a god damned festival. We met so many new friends, united the entirety of the good side of the fandom to help one person out, GETTING OUR AU FEATURED IN A GAME THAT I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING, and so on! With balancing the two series out, it seemed like it was gonna go well....until I got fired from my job less than a month afterward for not being up to their standards despite giving it my all to keep it.... October- NT Yang Xiao Long With the result of getting screwed over and fired from my job, I had entered a severely deep and dark depression which I had never experienced before until then. As a result of that depression, I lost motivation on everything, Shisenota...Nextale...you name it. It put a severe strain between me and Fire and it also brought about another new demon that made me fear EVERYTHING. The popularity started taking a severe toll on my health, especially when the haters began showing up, despite being so low in numbers...this was the time when everyone truly became my enemy. Art-wise, I forced myself to do anything, and this was the best I could cook during then other than pages. This was a patreon reward back when I did raffles. November- Concerned Pupper During the first half of the month, I was still trapped in my deep depression, which was made even deeper for a while due to the elections, but I was also still figuring out Shisenota. When we reached a point where we can figure out the world and the general idea of the story, I was able to dish concepts out left and right. The depression ended when I got a call to what would be my new job at Dollar General, and even more so when the Underfell game dev wanted to make Shisenota into a game. Finally, I was also able to pinpoint the source of my issues that I later realized strained my friendships with literally EVERYONE ELSE, and that demon was none other than severe paranoia. I have yet dished out something brand spanking new, just some small shaded doodles like this one. December- SSNT- New World, New Sun This month...was the month of recovery, which I will make a journal about later. Upon realizing things left and right, I was also able to get my gears back together, art-wise, and I'm still trying to get a grasp on what I truly want. There's honestly so much I can say about this month, but I'll leave it be for now. All I know is that I think I'm beginning to find my true voice, and within the next month, it will truly be a new world and a new sun. Art wise, I learned how to "step back" on quality on certain things so I'm not either "always going all out" or "simple sketches", the fact made especially more apparent during the summer, but in regards of my style, my shading, and especially my backgrounds, I'm starting to go towards the right direction, I feel. The first few months started out REALLY strong, hell, I couldn't even decide which art piece I wanted to do in January, April and December. However, after that, especially after LinK closed down, all I did was kind of dragged onwards and remembered how to be half-assed and still look good with my art. December is when I've felt that I'm beginning to roar again. Life-wise...this is considered one of my more worse years, but not THE worst year (that goes to 2013). Cool things still happened, however, like getting to see Zinya and Fire physically (again. With Zinya coming over again on August lol), Nextale and Shisenota's revamp. Is it enough for me to not say "fuck 2016"?

Hell no.

I'm sorry, but as a person, 2016 has definitely made me degrade, causing everyone to be my enemy in my head, deep-ass pits of depression, my health issues resurfacing worse than ever, and boy do not get me STARTED on this god damned toxic household and what it did to me in the past year. OH and let's not forget how I was on the path of damaging SOOO many things! I am so glad that I was able to turn back while there was a path for me to. So everyone....with one last hurrah:

FUCK 2016!!