#this was a lot of fun ngl. i don't let myself ramble like this very often bc i don't think i have much coherent to say

[dasnercaret]

how ISAT makes you feel like going home

so one of my friends said to me "the first time i played (isat) was when i was home sick, i felt like it had curative properties. analyse that mr playstyle 😎" and i took it as a fucking challenge. i've never written an (tumblr-posted) analysis essay before and i'm going into this with a bunch of haphazardly folded ideas and NO OUTLINE fuck it we ball

so to begin with: DORMONT.

isat, as a whole, is extremely a traditional rpg setup. which unfortunately i know little to nothing about, so forgive me in advance if i put my foot in my mouth regarding traditional rpg mechanics. but like many games, you start at a home base, at home. and the whole vibes of the place honestly serve to only emphasize the safe / at home / storybook atmosphere isat cultivates. you wake up in a field, sleepy and tired. your dear friend mirabelle leans over you and tells you to wake up, because you're going to beat the king tomorrow! and you laugh and you're sleepy but eventually you start playing. eventually, you push yourself up and wander around and meet the townsfolk and your party.

now, the player doesn't know the party. they've just opened the game! they don't know these characters. siffrin does though, and it shows in the interactions he has with each one of them. mirabelle teases siffrin about the quality of his nap. isabeau puns with siffrin. odile smiles at him. bonnie... looks away, because of backstory you don't have yet, because you're leaping into this story at its very end. but siffrin knows.

(...)

siffrin knows. which informs his narration, of course, and overall it gives the sense of - you're watching a story already known, with characters who already love each other. like walking into a family home midway through a dinner party, to know and be known in turn.

(you know where you are. you're home!)

siffrin provides some exposition of course, enough to catch the player up and let them know the basics of the world you've set foot into. these people are here because they have natural ties, connections to the land they've been born or raised in or are travelling through. you all are here to defeat the king, who is the epitome of a traditional storybook villain, the big bad evil you defeat at the end of the fairytale. he's just the generically evil guy, with no focus given to the atrocities he must have committed and been willing to commit in order to get where he is. there's no need to be scared of him, not really. (yet.) he's evil, but in the way a storybook villain is evil. all the sharp edges defanged, sanded away, all the humanity and dimensionality and violence inherent in his character compressed into a set of scribbles on the page, words on a screen. it's not personal. it's not.... scary. not to you, and not to siffrin, who's already been floating above it all.

(the rest is under a cut! spoilers for The Entire Rest Of The Game)

similarly, the exposition is in the form of little childlike drawings, emphasizing the same nostalgia it draws on - fairytales, fables, those stories where the heroes collect the magic sword and slay the dragon and save the princess. you know these stories, consciously or not. you love these stories, (probably), and it all serves to emphasize the familiarity with which you step into dormont. heroic stories are extremely common in the stories we love today, from the old classic prince charming to (somewhat) more modern legend of zelda, and no doubt many people picking up isat have a similar passing familiarity with the overarching story of rpgs. (i in fact was the exception, but that's a whole other essay)

the townspeople definitely do not help this vibe as well. they are practically one and all kind, steady people, precisely the sort of common folk you'd want to save in a story where nothing hurts and everyone is safe and loved. they're happy to gift you a flower or a pan au chocolat and cheer you on in your quest, certain of your victory and at least certain of their continued happiness even if you fail. simple, easy, familiar, comforting in the way redwall is comforting or an old set of childhood fairytales is comforting. there's no real judgement, no anger at you for potentially failing and (almost) none of the gross ugly real emotions that would be present in a more 'realistic' story. simple, easy, familiar, comforting.

(You like knowing what happens next!)

so. i think we all know that isat at its core is a game about homesickness. god's sakes mal du pays is literally right there. the central conflict of this game, beneath the overlaying fluff of an rpg archetype and an evil to defeat, is about siffrin not being able to go home while the rest of his party get to do so. and even at this very early stage (approximately act 1 and i would argue a bit into act 2) you can start to see the cracks. siffrin is shown alone, tagging along with the party because he had "nothing else to do" (read: nowhere else to go.) he laughs and pals and jokes with the party, but like before, like always, he merely mirrors them. he makes puns with isabeau because isabeau likes puns, and siffrin liked making him laugh so much so that he adopted puns into a part of his personality. he comforts mirabelle about her future, jokes with odile about her research, and always, always, avoids talking about himself. when they ask where he's going to go after their journey is over, his answer is always a mirror of their own - pilgrimage, research, travel, comedy. when he makes a wish at the favor tree, there's no option to wish for himself.

because the thing is, right. siffrin never thinks of himself. the only options instead are to wish for his family - his home, his only living and real connections in his life, the people surrounding him that really make dormont feel like a real home and not just another friendly place in vaugaurde he's passing through. cause the townsfolk are nice, sure, they're friendly, sure, but - they don't know him. they're not important enough for him to literally rewrite his personality for them. it's his party instead, that he laughs and jokes with and is known with, even if superficially. he wants to be allowed to go home, to stay home. he's been homeless both literally and figuratively for so long that he's beyond desperate to be allowed to keep what little he's found for himself.

(You want to stay with them!)

except - what happens when you beat the game? what happens when you finish the rpg, when you reach the end of the book, when you grow up and leave this set of children's fairytales behind?

you put it down, right? you go home, right? you go back to your home, you go back to travelling, you go back to your family.

what do you do when you don't get to go home? when dormont and the clocktower and the house are the closest you will ever get to home, are the last moment you will ever have being home before it's ripped away from you forever? (ripped away from you just like before - )

you'd want to stay, right? forever and ever and ever?

siffrin is a character who has a very bad time letting go. just like the king, he wants to have, desperately, enough to kill himself a hundred times over for it. and, through the timeloop, he can pull you, the player, and himself and his hapless party along through the timeloop, repeating the same two comforting days over and over and over and over.

and perhaps after a few loops of settling in you, too, can understand why he would want to do this. it's nice, isn't it? knowing what will happen? knowing that these people will always love you? knowing that you can always get the flower, always get the drawing, always get the pan au chocolat, always beat the tutorial kid and get the jackpot? that the townsfolk will always smile at you, that your party - your family, your home - will never know what you've done?

it's not enough, isn't it?

(Dormont, unchanging! Dormont, stagnating!)

no matter how hard siffrin tries to cling to the past turned present to stave off his inevitable future, he is still human. under the fairytale setting and pretty lights, even under his own desire to stay with them, he needs that human connection. he needs something to change, to give way. needs to be seen, to be known, to be loved for himself and not because he's learned the perfect pretty words and actions to trick them into loving him. you, the player, the person driving siffrin, can understand this frustration perfectly as well - you need something to change. you need something to give way, because you can't keep doing this. because you can't hear the same lines over and over and over anymore. you can't do the same thing over and over anymore. you're not happy. siffrin's not happy. something needs to change.

i finished isat over the course of about four days, playing about 12-14 hours per day. during that time, i experienced possibly the most deeply intensely felt emotion i have ever experienced. to this day when i look back on my first playthrough of isat, the sheer depth and fury of that emotion takes my breath away.

and it was frustration. just like siffrin, i was trapped. i couldn't look away, because i loved these characters, because i loved their story, because i wanted them to keep going and going and living and i wanted to keep living alongside them. but i couldn't keep going like this. i couldn't do the same thing over and over and over. i needed something to change, but both siffrin and i were desperately, agonizingly trapped in the same few days. the same places, the same faces, the same lines said rote until i was zoning out through every dialogue interaction, only pausing when i needed to make sure that i hadn't missed something new.

because i loved these characters. i loved how homely they felt. i loved them, i loved them, i -

needed them to be real. to change, to grow, to have their future returned to them. i needed to see them go home, not trapped in this same endless time-frozen loop. i had been trapped at home too long, and the cabin fever was eating me alive. my desire to be allowed to keep playing (to stay in the timeloop) was duking it out with my desire to see them change beyond what they were allowed to change in the span of just two days. i wanted to see bonnie grow up, to see isabeau change into someone else, to see odile come to terms with her half-vaugardian nature, to see mirabelle learn to accept her sexuality (or lack thereof). i wanted them to remember us as family.

ah, isat, absolute king of getting in my head and making me think like siffrin.

back to dormont. in the end, dormont only changes permanently in act 6, after the time loop breaks. the only time the townsfolk ever change, ever coherently move to different places and act differently (act 5 is similar, but i would argue that's because siffrin changes, dormont still doesn't really meaningfully change) is after the loops.

and it's fitting, isn't it? by this point in the game, you could recite dormont backwards and forwards. but by this point in the game, you are well aware that you need to give them back a future. their future. the one they wished for in the first place. they've been trapped in their fairy tale wonderland for long enough. they deserve to go home, truly home, to go forward and live their lives and keep moving on. to allow them to change, to grow.

to allow yourself to change, to grow. to allow yourself to go home, to admit that you want to keep your home you have now, to keep the family you've built from blood and death and tears and stars.

(You want to stay with them!)

to leave dormont. to leave this fairytale behind, and keep living.

[bellacatt-art]

Right, okay so.... I watched Day of the Doctor for the first time ever (yes, I'm quite new to Doctor Who and I never really got to watch this special all the way through until now BUT - )

I'm gonna start rambling for a bit, so really sorry about that but OHH MY GOD I LOVED IT SM!!!! >.< Imo, considering it was a 50th anniversary special, it really delivered on that, it was so entertaining and fun! I loved all the little jokes, the fun references and the expansion on the Time War, it was just *chefs kiss* :3

I loved the War Doctor too, he was really intriguing to me!

I remember before I watched this, I never fully knew why he wasn't counted with the other doctors (yk, like how we have Third Doctor, Eighth Doctor, etc), but I get it now, I understand 😅👍

It was also really sad how the Doctor sort of distanced themself from that regeneration because they hated being reminded of the Time War, like that was really sad ngl :"(

Again, I'm not like majorly attached to War Doctor because we don't have much material to go off tbh, but I still like him a lot, he's a cool guy!

And OMFG THE FRIENDSHIP DYNAMIC BETWEEN TEN AND ELEVEN, I QKDNWJDJSJND 😆😭💗

They're so silly, I loved watching these two interact with each other!! 🤧💞

David Tennant and Matt Smith are so funny together, I genuinely wish we could've gotten more of them two together, like at least another special or mini episode with them two, I would've loved that! 🥺

And okay, PLEASE JUST,,, LET ME RAMBLE ABOUT THIS BC IM SO NOT NORMAL LIKE OMFG 😭😭🤧🤧

When the Doctor's came back to save Gallifrey, I qksnwndnqkdnjs 😆

Like, I already love any sort of multi-Doctor story where they get to meet each other, but when they ALL LINED UP, I 🥺💞💞

Idk idk man, it made my autistic brain very happy for some reason, like okay this is gonna sound weird but like

They were all lined up in EXACTLY the order I would've put them in if I could've lined them up myself!! idk why but the order they stood in?? It made me so stupidly happy 😭🤧

And aaaaa, the Four cameo at the end??? Hello??? That was adorable!! 🤧🥺

I'm sorry, but Four and Eleven are two of my favourite Doctors and them just talking together made me so happy ☆☆

I have a lot of respect for Tom Baker, he's done so much for the DW community, and I love him a lot ^^

Eeeee okay!! That's the end of my huge ramble!

Sorry about that, it probably WILL happen again! >:3

Ik this episode came out a decade ago now so it's probably old news or smth, but I just needed to ramble! I'm autistic and I love a good ramble hehehe :))

I knew I was going to love Day of the Doctor already but I didn't predict I would love it *that* much like omgg 🥲 my mum was sat on the couch next to me when I was watching it (she was doing her work at the time) and I kept going "OH MY GOD, MUM!! LOOK AT THIS!!" :D

Like, idk I just love finding joy in things and expressing my true authentic self, I love it I love it!!

Anyways, if anyone's seen Day Of The Doctor, please tell me your thoughts! Feel free to comment and tell me, like I'm genuinely curious, and I'm always up for a discussion about things I like!!

Okay, that's the end of Bella's rant of the day! ^-^

[sanchoyo]

Hiiiiii, it is I again!! I just finished Cold Love and gosh!

The ending was just so nice, mostly when I thought SHIGGY WAS DYING FOR A MOMENT- 😭 Then they were just being super sweet at the beach and I ngl cried a little, they all deserved that happiness <3 I also still wanna cry (In a good way tho) BECAUSE I FINISHED THE WHOLE THING I wanna write a little note to myself, next to my bed, erase my memories about these 2 fics, then wake up next morning, read the note and reread the whole thing with as much joy as the first time! I'm gonna reread them FOR SURE, but not now as they're still fresh in my brain :3

And you know, Cold Love has opened my mind more than it already was I mean I already love heroes and villains, but you've put a lot more details that made me go: "Shit, I didn't think it was THAT much"

The way you wrote how the hero commission treats heroes made me think of what my parents always tell me about Actors and Models. "Their lives/bodies don't belong to them, it belongs to the company they work for" That sentence hit me even more when the chapters were Hawks centered. Poor guy, he was a literal lab rat. The worst is that he ISN'T THE ONLY ONE GOING THROUGH THAT

Villains, I already sympathized with a lot, in other medias and MHA too But your fic made me realize that, when they do those crimes, it's for them but mostly for OTHERS as well!! They're like heroes, in a way, because they want to make society BETTER. They do this because they know how it feels to be rejected, hated and they want to change it so NO ONE ELSE has to go through this. Also, we often see them not caring about dying if they do achieve their goal, because they know next gens will have better lives than they ever had. WHICH I THINK IS HELLA SAD BUT SO NICE OF THEM???

Though I DON'T agree with them taking lives of course, but I don't hate them anyways because, when they've been rejected by everyone and everything, how else are they supposed to get attention? Very unfortunately, crimes is often their answer…

I think, if I was in MHA, I'd also opt for the Vigilante route. Fuck the hero commission lmao

I won't tell why, but let's just say that I'm more compassionate about villains now <3

ON A MUCH LIGHTER NOTE!! Fanart for Warm Healer is on the way!! So keep an eye open? :3

Fun fact for Cold Love: When Bret asked why Dabi was in the closet, I blurted out: "BECAUSE HE'S GAY!!" Lmao

So yeah, just wanted to say your fics are great! They've inspired me into improving my own fics <3 I even started making my own Shiggy x Reader AND a Dabi x Reader too! Because most of them are smut centered and I don't want just NSFW ya kno?

Anyways, I'm done rambling lol Thanks for writing WH and CL, thanks for inspiring me, thanks for bringing me joy and sorry for rambling that much lmao

Hope you're doing well, lots of love, take care and keep being awesome!!

thank you so much for such a long, sweet message 💗💗💗

I really enjoy bnha fics where the writers closely examine the society and its problems because its SO interesting (and im kind of sad the way it went in canon, I wanted a lot more and found the school setting kind of restricting for it in general, but we'll always have fics haha) i'm glad you enjoyed me doing that just a little bit! (maybe it was kind of weird to include in a romance SI series, but also it would've felt like a huge disservice in my opinion because ALL of the villains stories are influenced by the society they live in and how heroes are treated...)

aaah again, don't feel obligated to do the fanart but if you do, definitely tag me/send it my way, I'd love to see!! 🥺 (also you're writing your own shigaraki/reader and dabi/reader!!! omg!! I hope you have fun making your own!!! they're so fun to write <3 I agree on the wanting more SFW SI fics, sometimes I just wanna go on silly adventures with my favs y'know? :"))

no need to apologize for rambling!! I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it so much!!! your message made my day ^_^ I hope you have a good day too and your writing/art projects go well!!

[c2-eh]

*pokes head out of hole for affection* 💌

(mutuals send me a 💌 and i will tell you all the reasons i love you)

hi wifeyy <33

i don't really know where to start this one, because there is a lot i love about you ngl. i've been sitting on this for about 20 minutes, because i don't wanna miss anything but let's get started.

i still remember (and i told you that already but sh) when we weren't talking and i always saw you reblogging my posts with the most hilarious tags. or serious and very clever ones and i wondered who the hell is this person i wanna get to know them. and then you put the most outrageous thing there and i was like NOT ON MY WATCH. guess that's what started our journey.

i love how kind, friendly and nice you are to everyone, but also a little menace that will leash out when you see something you don't like (or just for no reason at all). you always find a time to ask me how i am, what's new or anything, really. you care and that warms my little heart every time. you listen to me ramble about stupid, silly or delusional topics, but also never run away when i need someone to talk about serious stuff too. you always give me a word of advice and even if you don't have one, you try to cheer me up. that means a world to me and i appreciate it a lot. i should tell you that more often.

you're my partner in doing crimes (subtle crimes... or i think they were lol). you make me feel safe and i know i can trust you, because you are my friend and lovely person to be around.

i love your humour. it's unique, but also corny at times, which is the best combination ever. you made me laugh probably billion times, since we started talking and it's always with something new. be it a meme, joke, you being dramatic, me being dramatic and you making fun of me. name it, it probably happened.

your comments on my fics were my lifeline back when we didn't talk. you always had the nicest words for me and i still cling onto them when i wanna cheer myself up. i miss it lol.

i value your opinion a lot, because you're so smart and intelligent. you study and tutor and help people around you. you work so hard and do so much for others without expecting anything back, which is a proof you have pure and big heart.

your writing is so good and i love to read everything you write. you really are talented! and your web weaves are also soooo good i love them!

you. are. phenomenal. singer. i cannot even find words. when i first listened to you singing opera i ascended to heaven. you have a voice of an angel and i am your biggest fan !

okay this is getting too long oops sorry. i hope everything in your life turns out perfect. you're a strong woman that is going through life like a champ, no matter what it throws in your way. i hope you're always happy and i love you so much. mwah <3

[xjoonchildx]

Hi Ana,

I hope you've been well. I'm super shy and normally, reaching out to folks, much less to one of my favourite authors on here (Greedy!Yoongi will always have my heart), would drown me in anxiety, but I finally managed to read Kanalia (I'd had that on hold for years) and I just had to tell you how much of a wonderful writer you are.

I'm an editor by profession and aspiring writer by hobby, and I loved every part of the story. The characterisation, the yearning and the passion, the final realisation that if the King wasn't going to keep to his word, all bets were off... It made me cry but also brightened up my sunday morning, so much so that I've come straight here to ramble all this at you after spending a couple of hours sobbing into my pillow while reading it.

Ngl, i wondered if it would veer off into a humdrum love triangle, as these things so often do, and I was pleasantly surprised that it did not. The scene at the stables, especially, chefs kiss! Although, I've got to wonder - this Hoseok had shades of Anthony Bridgerton - was that something you were going for? The subtlety in there was very well done.

I also loved the FL and the way her motivations and character arc progressed. It was done logically and skillfully and I felt myself wishing again and again, while reading through, that some of the traditionally published authors I've read possessed the skillset that you and many others, not just in the BTS fandom but also elsewhere, have.

I've been reading fanfiction for such a long time and nothing has ever come close to how well written Kanalia is, imo. It has always astounded me that so many people are simply hanging around in this world, writing such amazing fics, simply for the fun of it. I've written, both for work and otherwise, and I know how difficult it is.

Fandom is wonderful and Ana, you and your friends are such a lovely, wonderful part of it. Please keep writing.

(Please excuse the familiarity with which I've written - I've read your work and lurked on your blog for so long, it feels like you're a friend. I apologise if I sound too familiar 😄)

wow, anon. where do i even begin with this kind, supportive, motivating message? i'm humbled 😭💕😭

first, let me thank you for reaching out even though you're shy. i know for some people it's kind of daunting to speak to internet strangers, but i assure you this ask made my day/week/month/year.

second, thank you endlessly for your kind words about greedy and kanalia. the fact that you are an editor makes this feedback even more precious to me (and an aspiring writer 👀). this story took me a long time to write (as you know) and the fact that people stuck with me through that long process is just the best.

i super appreciate your feedback about the plot developments, too. i know a lot of people were expecting a very dramatic confrontation between LJ and the King, but something about that angle didn't feel right to me. i saw both of them living these shadow lives as the most likely and most successful option and certainly there is still drama in them both choosing to seek their happiness in other people.

as to the bridgerton angle, i have yet to get through a full season of bridgerton and it's not because it's not right up my alley -- this is actually my favorite kind of historical romance! i'm just lacking for time lately so i'm going to pick it back up because the few episodes i did get through i really enjoyed. but i've read many a historical romance, so no doubt there are some similarities.

your girl is weak for an outwardly-cold, inwardly-mush man as my fics are a testament to 😂

the thing about this wonderful message is that it's scratched that part of my brain that yearns to write a real book. a real series. i have a dream to convert the guarded series into real books (along with stories sketched out for the remaining members) and i don't know what's keeping me from trying. i'm in this awful space where i've accepted a promotion at work and the time commitment that i have to put in is crowding out my real passions and that sucks.

i don't have aspirations of being at the very top of my field, because even though i know i'm very good at my job it's not my passion. and don't i want to give myself time and space to be able to do my real passion? i really, really do. and when i go back and skim through the guarded series i see so many things that i want to change and tweak and make better. transforming that story is a dream of mine, and maybe it's time for me to stop making excuses and actually chase a dream.

anyways, sorry for the rambling. just know that this message means the world to me. maybe one day i'll be able to come here and tell you that i've finally made my dream come true 💕

[rrxnjun]

if i could i would fight the school system just so u would have the time and mood to write >:T but i'm glad u could write a bit and waiting for ur next fic!!!🥳🥳 (your post about a fic u are writing seems pretty fun :o and love jihoon as a side character!!!) AAA IM HAPPY TO HEAR THAT I WOULD LOVE TO READ TREASURE FICS FROM U ESPECIALLY THE JIHOON ONES HIHI!!! I AM VERY GRATEFUL FOR UR FRIEND WHO CONVINCED U!!!!

hmmmm idk if its reveal vibe or not but my fav ep from them is the thrill ride ep (probably has a special place in my heart cuz that was my first cb with them lmao but that era was so well done and i really love the songs!!) i think their new ep is really great my favs are especially awake and savior aaanndd their breaking dawn album slaps as a whole i love it so muchhh and for my last recommendation from them would be survive the night which is a song that was fully written by sunwoo and it's definitely one of my favs (there is also a song from giuk featuring sunwoo that just dropped and u might like it if u are interested) and i really hope u will like some cuz idk if any of these would be the type of songs u would listen to;-; the last longer content i watched from them was come on the boyz but eric isn't in it cuz he was on a hiatus at the time:( but it's really fun! i also started to watch back the boyz timeout (and had to stop cuz school >:T) and that is also really good and everyone is there:D so i would recommend those if u want like a series (?) type of thing with them but for "shorter" contents their mafia games are very fun to watch!!! their idol human theater videos are great as well!!! and the last one i would say is they just made a video with the fo squad and that seemed very funny although i didn't have the time to watch it yet;-; (IM VERY SORRY ABOUT JUST RECOMMENDING SO MANY THINGS AND FOR THIS LONG ASS LIST I WENT A BIT OVERBOARD D: )

KEVIN IS SUCH A LOVELY GUY his bubble messages are usually either very funny or just very meaningful and his posts are always top tier🤌 i think he would just solidify his place in ur heart lmao and eric is just such a bestie material!!! well u know i just came in here in the middle of ur treasure era being like 🧍the boyz🧍and i don't want to interrupt u with just randomly talking about them 🧍(which i deff did so im sorry and sorry again for the long ass list of recs)

ooo god gifted kid burnouts suck so much;-; but tbh yeah the grade doesn't really matter just pass and get the paper in the end cuz that's the most important ig and u would get it with even just passing (although im just🤡 cuz i will never think like this sadly so) i don't think my experience will be different ngl;-; so im trying to get myself ready to just not be sad about it cuz it's bound to happen lmao

AHH UR REPLIES JUST MAKE ME SO HAPPY LIKE U READ MY LONG ASS RAMBLINGS AND U ARE ALWAYS SO LOVELY SO I JUST🥹🥹 I APPRECIATE U VERY MUCH!!!!!! (liebestraum anon💗💕💕 sorry for disappearing again☹️)

SJSJSJ its okay because the motivation is that once its over i have the whole summer to write is making me go through this more easily 😙😌 also im handling things a lot better than last semester LMAO so im good over here 🤞 DJSJ glad u liked the posts abt the fic so far, jihoon is kind of the main character unfortunatelt (he is in the fic more than mark i-) but the brainrot cant be helped. IM GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIEND TOO she's a real one 😙 i'll let u know abt the blog if i manage to set one up after all hihi

first comebacks with a group are always the most special istg i thought about this the other day. like for me rock with you, hot sauce and can't you see me? are really special too😭 i havent had time to listen to these but i promise that by the time we talk again i will and i'll have my reviews ready!! 😌😌 also i love how u can kinda get my music taste w western artists (like when u recommended me hungarian songs and were spot on) but w kpop u rlly cant tell😭😭😭 i love me some kpop group variety shows tbh so i will definitely watch all of these later !! DONT BE SORRY ABT RECOMMENDING SO MUCH I GET U IF I WAS ASKED FOR RECS FOR ANY OF MY FAV GROUPS I WOULDVE DONE THE SAME THING. i saw kevin's weverse (?) replies on tiktok today and i- 😭 my man is a comedian i love him. the same w eric. icons. SJSJS dont worry about interrupting my treasure era i can handle it (im also suddenly into cix as well so i can handle everyone atp)

and u get it u get it !!! like it does feel good to get academic validation from time to time (i got a 45/50 on my essay today❤❤❤) but as long as its not an F i do not feel disappointed. esp when i get reminded of the fact that im studying on one of the best unis in my country and that my major is actually kind of hard 💀💀 get ready for the terrors of university i mean u can expect it but actually experiencing it will be just as shitty so i just pray u dont take it as badly as i did for a lil while🤞 im here for u if that happens tho!!

always appreciating u and smiling at your asks, mwah mwah ‼

[kimbap-r0ll]

Heyo, congrats on 100+ followers!!! I had found your account just recently and wanted to give your matchup event a whirl with one twst character if it isn't too late? Romantic please, if that's okay :DD. -I am an ambiverted oddball who enjoys writing, singing, art and an avid music lover. Though many would describe me as mild, introverted, awkward or even a little too nice, I would say otherwise to some extent. With close friends, I like to crack jokes at every turn, or have long winded discussions that could go on for hours. So talkative is an understatement /j. Personally, I am loud and love to tease verbally and physically, though keep that side bottled up when around other people. Anything that can get me in the mood to create a conversation or project has my devoted attention. Furthermore, I enjoy deep diving into niche topics either casually or to help out with a creative project I might have started. This could've caused me to be disconnected from the mainstream, though... -On the flip side, some have described me as weird, due to how often my impulses lead me to do whatever is on my mind. This uncontrolled impulsivity has given me the reputation as the “child on a leash” amongst my friends. It also has led me to create acquaintances in equally strange places [in real life and online] and learn many things that are more or less obscure to some. Poking my nose in whatever I think is interesting gets my gears going, anything is included! -I have a habit of talking in a convoluted, overly-flowery way and it makes it hard for people to talk/approach me. This catches me off guard a lot, ngl. -However I have found that I have a problem with letting others know about my issues and my true interests. I constantly try to help others face their problems, though I find it hard to let others help me with my own. To boot, I find it hard for me to open up about my personal opinions, interests, etc. The fear of others' reactions drives me to push for an outside persona, if you will. -I like people who are responsible but still have time to be lighthearted. Someone who is willing to go on hijinks but reminds me to turn off the stove before leaving. Additionally, I like people who don’t judge my interests. Someone who knows how to handle my mannerisms and help me better control them or myself is someone I admire a lot. Talkative or not, as long as they don’t mind my rambling, I don’t mind either! -Other random footnotes I can say is that my hobbies include playing video games, listening/watching to musical theatre, collecting cute stuffed toys/stationary, and more. I don’t like humid weather, being late, or mosquitos. I am a Ravenclaw and an ENTP, so you get double the nerd!!! I am tall and love to carry people around [with varying degrees of success].

So yeah, I hope this information is enough for you to work with, congratulations once again on your milestone!!! May many more come to you in the future very soon!!!

Hello, sorry this is so late! I really want to get through everyone and it's taking longer than I want it to ;-;. BUT thank you for the request nonetheless! For you, I think the best match for you from twst would be...

Malleus

Look, it's Diasomnia!

He may not look chaotic but he definitely isn't opposed to some tricks here and there. Don't worry about if he won't be willing to see you on some hijinks, he might even have some fun with it! I can imagine you guys deciding to prank Silver and Sebek one day, probably out of Malleus's own boredom haha. He's pretty responsible and well-mannered too, he's a crown prince after all!

But the thing you guys connect a lot together with would be your hobbies and interests. He's grown up learning multiple instruments and I'm sure he's someone who likes music, so the two of you share this interest. He's never seen a lot of musicals, so please introduce him to your favorites! He likes stories, and adding music to them would be really fun for him. He keeps note of the kinds of things you like, and you might get a surprise stuffed toy from him on certain ocassions!

He doesn't mind if you talk in a convoluted way, in fact he probably likes it. He's been alone for so long, and hearing all kinds of new ideas and stories is refreshing to him. Malleus would encourage you to go on with whatever you were rambling about, resting his head on his palm while watching you with a soft smile on his lips. He'll likely ask you to go on strolls with him often so that he can show you new places, but also so he can hear you talk about anything. You could be talking about the classes you had that day, a random video you saw on Magicam, etc.

Malleus will respect your boundaries nonetheless. If you don't feel comfortable talking about certain subjects, he won't push it. He knows how people can want to keep certain things private, and he's lived for a long time to understand how important it can be, so he won't cross boundaries you have. If you do want any sort of comfort however, even if you don't explain why, he has open arms. He might not be the best at cuddling or giving hugs since he's not used to it, but it's still nice to be close to the fae.

Overall I feel like he would find spending time with you endlessly exciting!

[ji-yaaan]

𝓗𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓣𝓲𝓶𝓮~

With: Leona, Sebek, Jade, Floyd, Vil, Kalim

Warning: So I know that what I made is really annoying for others... so I'd like to warn you that at the beginning, you will see me ramble about the character's hands. If you want to skip to the hc, go to where the 🤝 emoji is. ^~^

Note:Also, I’d like to address that I do not know how to make Headcanons for the life of me.... So this is just me making a shameless hc, with my shameless hand addiction, fueling my shamelessness, as I shamefully self insert myself in these things I wrote... Forgive me for my shamelessness.... Also, pardon me for my annoying commentary and emojis. I simply do not know how to control my excitement and my feelings so😔👊

AND YES! I THINK THIS IS A CRACK HC LOL!

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR:

-I'd like to break the silence by saying... LEONA'S HANDS ARE BIG AND MUSCULAR! Leona works out in magift so it's a given that he'd have scrumptious big hands😳😳😳

-Leona's hands are chonky😳 he has long fingers that will surely make yours look very small! Also look at Leona's nails! Its ok looking for me, but it's pretty neat so👌👌👌👌

-Leona's got this rough and rugged look, so I think his hands will probably be kinda rough, BUT NOT THE CRUSTY ROUGH! it's more of the manly rough. A firm hold with his loaded wrist😏

Ok curious what will happen if you hold hands? I gotchu fam:🤝

-Imagine if the both of you were napping and you suddenly intertwined you fingers with his. Leona is a sleepy boi, BUT MAN! HE IS AWARE! Lion boi felt ur hands creeping unto his, but he'll pretend he didn't know that😏

-Leona LOVES holding hands! Only at private tho. This cat boy will never admit to that, but keep holding his hands and look at his reaction. He. Won't. Shrug. You. Off.😏😏👊

-Also when you play and fidget with leona's hands when you're doing premarital hand holding which is illegal btw he loves it when he looks at you spaced out fumbling your fingers with his.

-Leona has big hands, so he'll definitely make yours look wayyyyy smaller. AND LION BOI FINDS THIS ADORABLE! DO NOT FORGET THY HOLY WORDS!

-Lion boi is secretly the type to hold your hands when you're sleeping. He plays with your fingers, admiring how cute and small it is.

-Oh wait...Oops...he got caught... LEONA IS CAUGHT RED HANDED?😳 You wake up finding leona playing with your hands? It's either he turns on his back from embarrasment and tells you to sleep, or he squeezes your hands tighter and burries your face in the crook of his neck from embarrassment. He'll play it off as annoyed, but cat got his toungue huh?. Oh wait.... He IS the big cat😏😏😏

Ok enough babbling with leona...

SEBEK ZIGVOLT:

AHAHAHAHAHA YES MY FAVORITE HANDS! Cough, I'm sorry about that

-Sebek has proportional hands. His is more on the medium-big side. But it is perfectly proportional! At least in my eyes...😳

-The back of his hands are smooth and spotless! Very scumptious to look at! Pls look at sebek's hands too!😳😳😳

-Bebek has PRETTY NAILS UGHHH! He most likely trims and takes care of it every week! Not the best nails, BUT VERY NEAT!😳

-Bebek is a highkey fanboy of malleus, so he trains everyday to protecc his God and saviour Malmal. Naturally, he'll have calloused and rough hands... BUT DO NOT FRET MY CHILDREN! It is not that noticable which shookt me. His hands are a bit roughed up, welp can't help it, he's a man with mang jobs after all. (Yes, I call him bebek because sebek is babey🥺)

Curious what will happend if you hold hands with Bebek? I gotchu fam:🤝

-Sebek is a child so he won't really initiate first on holding hands. BUT WHEN YOU DO! OH BOI!😏 

-Sebek has this transparent look to his skin... Almost ghostly per say. BUT WHEN YOU HOLD HIS HANDS... Sebek is not used to this interaction so expect a tomato in front of you... Sebek's face is flushed red reaching down to his neck, and the fun part is, even his hands are blushy blushy😏😏😏😏

-After the first time the both of you held hands. Sebek will crave for it A LOT! Expect him to randomly start akwardly making way to you hands and play with it while the both of you are just chilling. Akward..... Sebek.exe will stop working when you look at him confuse, in which he'll get flustered, and ask if he can hold your hands. ADORKABLE!

-It would take him some time trying to calm himself down, all flushed and red embarrased from asking to hold hands.

-At first, Sebek will firmly hold your hands, stiff and afraid he might break your fingers or something.... Pls tell him to relax and just chill🥺🥺🥺

-When the both of you gets used to hand holding, Bebek is the type to kiss your hands as a gesture of Love....hgnnn hot!😳😳😳

I'm sorry, I'm letting my personal hand bias get the best of me..😳👉👈

JADE LEECH:

-HGNNN JADE HAS SQUISHY HANDS!😳😳

-Jade has big hands folks.... Big hands..... Perfect for unscrewing the cap of the holy water bottle.🤠

-mushroom boi has squishable hands in my eyes and you can never change my mind.

-his skin is probably smooth and sleek too, his palms must be soft but firm😳😳

-Jade has this grip that makes you feel safe for some reason. Maybe because it's big? or maybe because it's soft?

Wanna know what it's like to hold hands with mushroom boi? I gotchu:🤝

-Jade...oh Jade.... He is the first one to hold your hands in a surprise. Like... imagine after school ends, you ran up to him and he swiftly intertwines his firngers with yours..😳😳

-You are flushed from this sudden hand holding. Red cheeks, red neck. JADE FINDS THIS VERY SCRUMPTIOUS! Mushroom boi will try to push you on edge. Holding both of your hands tighter, and fumbling his fingers with yours. You're just standing there starstruck and embarrased by the sudden hold. Jade is enjoying this too much...😏😏😏

-Of course, to add more to the fun, JADE IS THE TYPE TO KISS THE BACK OF YOUR HANDS TO TEASE YOU!😳

-if you try to pull away from embarrassment...oh no.... You're just begging for Jade to tease you more huh? He'll hold you tighter and maybe even hug you.

-What if you try to hold his hands first? Oh my... Prepare yourself....if you try to hold his hands, he'll just smile like normal, but as time passes by and both of you are pretty relaxed now...that won't do.... He'd pull your hand he's holding and rest his cheeks at the back of your hand, he'd stare straight at you and tell you how much he loves you....😳😳😳

-goodluck on dealing with embarassment Jade stans (oho i know you love it)

FLOYD LEECH:

-ANOTHER EEL BOI COMING RIGHT UP!

-Floyd is whooping 191cm, it's common sense he has very big hands. Perfect for flipping the pages of the holy bible.😏😏😏

-This man child has some big rough hands! Expect your hands to look very small beside his!

- Also I want to tell you about Floyd's knuckles......I think I found my new religion now... Check out Floyd's knuckles!!😳😳😳👌

- Floyds's wrist is big too....mhmmm scrumptious eel martini😳👌

Do you want to know what it feels like to do premarital hand holding with this hot eel? ME TOO! Illegal hand holding time!🤝

-"Your hands are tiny koebi chan~" Floyd is the first one to randomly hold ur hands.😳

-If Floyd gets bored, he'd try to find interesting things to do to kill of the boredom. HMMM?! Do you see that? Koebi chan's hands! Eel boi will casually start playing with your fingers, squishing your palms as you sit there confused and embarrassed.

-He'll eventually intertwine his fingers with yours, as he points to it with his other hands and say "How cute~ koebi chan's hands are tiny!" Grinning widely with his teeth showing. Practically speaking, you are just putty in this eel boi's hands now. You are a blushing mess.😏😏 FLOYD HOW CAN ONE BE CUTE AND HOT AT THE SAME TIME?

-Eventually, floyd will start to crave having your fingers to hold on to! When you're randomly walking down the halls, don't be surprised if a random eel surprises you by linking your fingers together.🥺🥺

-Whenever eel boi sees you, he'd grab your hands automatically. He loves holding your teeny tiny hands with his big ones.😳

-When you avert your attention to something else, he made this habit of squeezing your hands a bit and looking at you with a pouty face. UGHHH MY HEART HURTS THINKING ABOUT IT-

-Whenever he gets jealous, he grabs unto your hands quite tightly, even if the both of you are out in public. Let's say a random dude keeps on talking to you. He'll grab your hands that’s still intertwined with his, and he'll bring it very very VERY CLOSE to his face.😳😳😳 Then he'd look at you straight in the eye as he bites unto your palms. He'd whisper "You're mine right? Koebi-chan~"😳😳😳

I'm getting too much into floyd, this is starting to become a fanfic🤦

VIL SCHOENHEIT:

-MY CRUSTY VILL~🥺🥺🥺

-Ok vil's hands aren't crusty ok? He may be crusty, but not his hands!!!

-My man vil drowns in hand creams, so expect his hands to feel like clouds. It's soft, smooth and most importantly SQUISHYYY!😳😳😳

-Looking at vil's hands is not that exciting ngl... BUT HIS LAB COAT ONE IS👌 very beautiful👌very scrumptious👌

-Vil has proportional and perfect hands. Fingers are in the medium side, so as his hand size. Very perfect indeed.

-His hands might look frail and feminine at first, BUT MAN! You are so wrong! From a gentle hold, it can escalate to a very strong hot grip in seconds.😳

-The back of his hands looks smooth tbvh. And his nails are ok. BUT HE PROBABLY PUTS A LOT OF EFFORT IN MAKING HIS HANDS PERFECT! SO KUDOS TO MY CRUSTY VIL!🥺

Let's hold Vil's hands illegally ok? Don't tell the cops shhhhh! Hand holding time:🤝

-It would start off as a normal vibing session. The both of you are probably having tea, studying, or mainly just chilling in the lounge.

-But suddenly... Vil takes notice of your hands...Hold your wigs kids.... he'd ask you if you've been taking care of your hands, in which you answer "no" shamefully.

-But Vil will then smile at you and tell you you should take care of your hands and use hand creams to prevent them from going rough! He'll lecture you about how you should take care of yourself so the both of you can be perfect and beautiful together.

-Suddenly vil whips out a handcream from his bag, and he'll ask you for your hands.

-As embarrasing as it sounds. The most beautiful man in twisted wonderland is putting handcream on you.😳😳😳

-Vil would definitely massage your small fingers and compliment how pretty your hands are. He'd tell you how cute your nail are and how soft your palms are. Thats it. You're a blushing mess right now!!😳😳

-You'd try to look away from embarrasment, but when vil sees this... Oh boy... He'd pout, and as he's massaging your hands. He'd intertwine your fingers with his, to make you look at his direction again.

-Vil would definitely kiss your fingers and say "You're beautiful, my love."

VIL I LOVE YOU! ok thats all for that, I'm dying rn.

KALIM AL-ASIM:

-Kalim you adorkable sunshine boi😳😳😳

- Kalim has smol hands, BUT NOT TOO SMALL! I'd say, it's probably perfect for you to hold hands with.😏😏😏

-His nails are also small, I think? But it's cute, and turns out i'm a sucker for cuties.🥺

-His lab card is scrumptious.... Both the hands and the food he is cooking...😳😳😳 I hope i'm not the only one who thinks that.....

-ALSO HE HAS A LOT OF ACCESSORIES IN HIS HANDS WHICH I'M WEAK FOR! omg his bracelets and bangles are making me feel hot and bothered.😳😳😳

-Anyways, kalim is sunshine so expect his hands to be warm and full of infectious positivity.🥺

Wanna have a chance to hold kalim's hands? Ur in for a ride fam!🤝

-At first, you's simply be invited for a flying carpet ride by ya sunshine boi, kalim. Pretty simple huh? Nahhhhh! 

-Of course, in order to get to the carpet where kalim is, sunshine boi needs to lift you up in the air.

-Kalim will offer his hands whilst riding on the carpet. Hggnnn such a cliche scene from a movie🥺👌

-But the thing is...... Even if you're already in the magic carpet, sunshine boi will forget he was holding your hands...😏

-He'll keep on telling fun stories and talking to you while both of you are high up in the clouds. Oops.... You noticed you're holding kalim's hands... You went red and flushed from embarrasment. Your hands begin to get sweaty as you stare at the both of yours and kalim's hands together...

-Expect your sunshine boi to take notice of this and ask you what's wrong... You'd point at his hands embarrasingly as you look away in the other direction.

-To your surprise, when you look at kalim again. Kalim is beet red too! A BEET RED KALIM IS RARE! DO NOT FORGET THIS MOMENT GAMERS!🥺🥺🥺

-He'd ask you if it's ok to hold onto your hands maybe just a little bit more???? It's not a sin to ask for more right?😏

-Kalim lets go of your hands for a moment. BUT DONT WORRY! he'll just try to properly hold your hands this time! He'll intertwine his fingers with yours, and maybe lightly squeeze it too.😳

-After this brief akward moment, Kalim goes back to his sunshine tendencies. Smiling brightly like the sun he is🥺🥺🥺

-When your night ride is over PLS DONT LET GO OF KALIM'S HANDS YET! he'll be a bit sad if you do😔👊

-But when the both of you lands on the ground...Kalim would grab the both your hands, and put them both on his cheek.He'd intertwine his fingers with yours from the back of your hands and the both of you probably just wants to melt then and there.

-He'll tell you "please dont go yet!" KALIM UR SO ADORABLE! PLS HUG KALIM!🥺👊

The End ^~^

I just babbled about my hand worshipping tendencies all throughout this headcanon... I'm sorry about that pls. stone me gently for I have sinned....

Tags: @muraenxdae You're the one who suggested this, take responsibility.... @cursedtwst let's lick their hands together ok? @edgymcmytrash u said u wanna be tagged? SUFFER! @nightingale-oath let's be shameless together ok?😳👉👈

[macaronnya]

Fresh(?) Impressions (10)

Other parts: |Trickstar| |UNDEAD| |2wink| |Ra*bits| |Akatsuki| |fine| |Ryuseitai| |Knights| |Valkyrie| |Switch| |MaM/Double Face/Crazy:B| |Eden| |Alkaloid|

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Hello Enstarries~☆ It is the 10th part already! With the trio Switch here! There really are a lot of idol (groups) to go through huh....I think I get now how the wayback machine works, so I hope I can finish this series next week or so to finally begin reading the "!" stories. Ngl, it's a lot more enjoyable to learn about everyone like this. I'd probably be too lazy otherwise lol.

DISCLAIMER!: Everything said here is for entertainment purposes only and not meant to attack anyone. This is not an accurate description of any characters but my subjective rambling for fun, so please don't take it too seriously. (Just to be safe, I'm kinda scared of elite idol fans) Also, you will hear me mention other games a bunch of times bc I'm that bad and uncreative at explaining and I'm still grieving A3!EN's shutdown. Eng is my 2nd (or 3rd?) language so there might be some weird grammar or spelling mistakes. And I write at 3 am usually.

Without further ado...Let's Ensemble!☆

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You wouldn't think they're magicians at first glance, which is not a bad thing. Honestly, I don't have a lot to say about them. Their outfits are decent. A bit weird maybe. Sora's variation is the only good looking one. That's because the shoes just don't fit with the long trousers and the big thunder symbol with its thick black outlines on the vest look ugly and it's kind of too much with a third color (red/blue). And I don't like the zippers. Or the belts. I like the the necklaces though. Their music is pretty decent, too. At first, it wasn't really to my taste but it does make for nice background music, is what I discovered after going shopping and having Switch songs come up. It's generally upbeat but a bit more lowkey compared to Trickstar. I

A bit funky I think and hmmm...idk how to say this but it often uses these snyth instruments??? I have no idea what you call them but like, sounds that don't belong to a classical intrument, y'know? I sound like a grandma. I guess they kind of give the music the sparkle, as they're modern magicians and all. I like I "witch" you a happy Halloween and Omoi no kakera. Oh, I almost forgot to mention this, it's neat how everyone has hair highlights.

5/10 - average but they have some good songs

Natsume Sakasaki

I do adMIT. While reading his Ep.1, I was more or less distracted by his magic of changing the text font as well as his speech haBIT. Maybe anone can do it and I just haven't seen it yet? But I saw that when he talked to Tsumugi it also changed? I cringed when he called us kitten. He seems like a gentleman but I just....don't vibe with him. He has a nice voice, though. It's rich and thick like condensed milk but not as sweet. He's a fortune teller so...yeah. Nothing comes to mind. Looks pretty chill otherwise.

4.5/10 - a dude but ehhhhh

Tsumugi Aoba

Why does everybody hate him? Perhaps my brain is exaggerating some memories but I remember him being really dunked on by magic redhead anytime he exists and a lot of others as well? His memes show him very pathetically if I remember right. He does seem to be a bit of a pushover but not really meek? I want to say I like his fluffy hair but somehow I hesitate. He has a normal voice but smoother than the average. Like, milk. Normal 3,5% fat milk instead of plain still water.

5/10 - a dude with glasses

Sora Harukawa

I think he's genuinely bebi but I can't bring myself to not dislike his voice. It's like muffled blackboard scratching. I thought he was just a normal happy go lucky sunshine shota but the bit of him having synesthesia came outta nowhere. I wonder if it's just like a trivial trait of his or if it's more explored. I was convinced that he didn't go through anything too hard but when he apologized for his laugh and talked about wanting to experience others perspectives, it gives me the feeling he definitely has experienced some kind of rejection due to his condition and general personality as well. Which is sad, you shouldn't apologize for being happy and expressing it, unless the situation is inappropiate ofc. That might also be the reason why he wants to bring happiness to others in need, like he once was. Btw his laugh is indeed a bit annoying. I'm sorry 🤧 maybe I'll get used to it with time.

5.5/10 - apple juice, smth most like but I prefer to drink only once a month

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Conclusion

This part might actually be shorter than Valkyrie's 🗿 Switch is just very lukewarm.

Now, just a small pet peeve rant that came to me after Natsume's Ep.1, that not necessarily just applies to him specifically, but I really hate the trope of "Oh, be careful around wolves, I am also one of them you know?" I know it's supposed to bring the fact, that they're potential love interest as well, to attention but to me it just seems like they're saying they're fucking perverts. Like, shouldn't you be happy, she feels comfortable enough with you to be in the same room or smth? Women especially know just how dangerous the world can be for them specifically, let them feel safe for 1 sec asshat. Like, doesn't Japan have train sections for women only bc the harassments got that bad? Women always hear to be careful at night, watch for their drinks, have some self-defense or escape tips, etc. Not attacking another person, let alone a women, should be fucking normal. Not even common decency. What is romantic about that?????? I know they all just mean it jokingly and all but I just cringe, whenever that happens. If you're already in an established relationship, that's a bit different but otherwise it's just weird and uncomfortable.

Phew, that was a mouthful. If you wanna share anything, just be mindful of others and keep in mind it's all just for fun here. My wrist is killing me so much rn. Until the next post ~☆

[rainbowdelicsunshine]

got tagged by @pencil-amateur to do a tag game and I'm actualy pretty happy to do so!

1. why did you choose your url: My overall online penname is both a combo of the words "Rainbow" and "Psychedelic". Thus: RainbowDelic! I add words to the end of this depending on my needs (for example my art blog is called RainbowDelicArtz cuz, well, I post my art there)!

2. any sideblogs? I currently use this one (a personal blog), my art blog, my art blog, and my writing/headcanons/rambling blog. I have a Danganronpa sprite edit blog and a kin help blog that I don't really use anymore, but are still free to look at (might use my sprite edit blog again one day,,,,,). I also used to have several RP and ask blogs that flopped!

3. how long have you been on tumblr: Oh man..... I think since I was, like, 14 or 15 when I made my very first one (which is long gone now)

4. why did you originally start your blog: I really LOVED the MLP ask blogs that were coming out at the time and loved how the inbox system seemed to work at the time, so I joined originally as an attempt at an ask blog (it flopped lol)!

5. why did you choose your icon: For this blog, I chose Karin Kokubu for Tonde Burin for March since she's one of my all time favorite magical girls!

6. why did you choose your header: For on here, I just really love fruit!

7. what’s your post with the most notes: For my art blog it's this one! (as of typing it has a total of 113 notes)

8. how many mutuals do you have: I don't really know since I'm not good at keeping track of those kinds of things (sorry!) But I think I at least have 7-10 of them

9. how many followers do you have: My Art Blog (RainbowDelicArtz): 115; My Personal Blog (this one): 221; ; Writing/Headcanon/Rambling Blog (RainbowDelicGalore): 70. Total: 406

10. how many blogs do you follow: 356

11. have you ever made a shitpost: Yes! I love doing it when I do, even if I'm the only one who finds them funny!

12. how many times do you use tumblr a day: A lot depending on what's happening in my life at the time lol

13. have you ever fought another blog: No, not really. Other than one of those stupid "callout" docs that were popular to make a few years ago being made on me lol

14. how do you feel about “need to reblog” posts: Meh..... not into it!

15. do you like tag games: I like them, they're fun!

16. do you like ask games: Man I LOVE doing ask games, they're always so interesting and fun to answer them and keep myself distracted via my inbox! I just get them very often whenever I do reblog them

17. which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous: Not really sure about that and I don't really care to know the answer ngl

18. do you have a crush on a mutual: Very small ones but since I don't talk to people on a regular basis much, I'm not really at the point of crushing hard on anyone atm. I'm trying to take things slow and let things come when its time

19. tags: Anyone can do this if they want but I shall tag @majobun @stupidsunny-d and @jenniferlovesthebeatles

[kingsofeverything]

Lauren don't stress yourself too much, you'll get it done and enjoy the process 💕

so i’m sure that people have heard me say this before, but i’m new to this whole writing thing. that includes all of it. so like.... everything i’ve written has sort of just tumbled out of me. not even kidding:

my first fic? i bought some lamps. at an antique store. and decided to write a fic because why not? i thought it would be the only one i’d ever write, so i filled it will every larry/1d cliche i could think of.

second fic? (running over thoughts) i wanted to see what it was like to write in present tense. also we were in the middle of a hurricane and i was bored. also i live at the beach. also i may or may not have pulled a lot of that stuff from my actual life. also one day i’d like to write a sailboat fic, which that one actually started as (more irl stuff)

3rd fic (messtival) i wanted to see if i could write from someone else’s prompt and not have smut

4th fic (yours in fractions) was talking in my gc about tropes and asked for them to throw some out at me. amanda @alarrylarrie said bed sharing. there ya go. NOW, this is the first time that i struggled with writing. i split it up into sections as i was writing it, i mean maybe you could call them chapters, idk. but i got to the last section and I HATED IT. so i decided to do nanowrimo. yeah. so i dropped YIF and left it alone for 30 days while i wrote:

my 5th fic, but the fic that i held onto until big bang. (how fast you fall) when we were tossing around ideas and tropes before YIF, one of amanda’s ideas was a love actually xmas au based on the porn actor stand ins. i thought it was fucking hilarious and there ya go. i wrote my ass off for the entire month of november and let me tell you, that fic was a mess. A MESS. this was the first time i tried outlining or even coming up with a plot at all before i wrote anything. it was weird, but basically it was just some words in a list that i went back and added to as i was writing. and it really did take like 6 months to edit. 

OKAY so then i went back and fixed the end of YIF and i’m happy with it now. but so i had to take an entire month away from it to be able to look at it and find a way to fix it.

my 6th fic! so my real 6th fic is actually a fic that i don’t think i’ll ever finish. it’s a really sad fic and basically i went into it thinking “i want to try to write something that is angsty and emotional but with a happy ending” and that was the first week of december. we all know what happened that week and i’d rather not discuss it, but basically, i just dropped it and couldn’t write anything for a like 10 days. which brings us to my actual 6th fic

6- (going to set himself on fire) it’s very short. 2k. wrote it in a couple of hours. just needed something funny, light, pwp, just........... something to take my mind off of things and there it is.

7- my most popular fic by far - (fall at my door) - i started it the day after xmas and i think it took me like... 2 weeks to write. and all i started with was the idea that i wanted to write a famous/famous fic. i got like halfway through the first part (louis’ pov) and started thinking “ohhh i should show harry’s pov” BUT i didn’t start planning his pov or anything? ugh i’m a mess. seriously. going back and lining shit up was such a clusterfuck. but it was fun!

8- (collide) found out a drabble is supposed to be 100 words exactly, thought i’d try it out.

9- (mercedes boy) @louandhazaf nic’s bday fic. sometime around nye i decided to write bday fics for my gc. i think it was right after i posted a scene from famd for @nottooldforthisship b’s bday. and lol ash @unintentionalarry was like my bday is in 4 days lolllll so she got a scene from famd too! lol 

10- ok so right after famd i signed up for the hp1d exchange - my first exchange! and omg i hated the first like month and a half of it because i didn’t like what i was writing AT ALL. i ended up scrapping an entire fic. but i uploaded my 10th fic (the oldest magic word) in the end of march.

11 & 12 (with a word) and (possessing all of me) are pretty much pwp sequels to famd and mercedes boy. both are bday fics. for @someonethatsfunny and @fratboylouie 

13- (it had to be you) the when harry met sally au. really the first “idea” i’d ever had for a fic. like when i first read larry fic, i was like oooh this movie would be cool as a fic. and then i forgot about it. and then i was watching gifs of billy crystal with the boys when they were on corden and i was like... i should write this now. so i did.

14- (one of many) a pwp bday fic for @theonewiththebluemic :D

15- my vegas fic (stranded in a dream) - written because i was told we weren’t welcome so :P

16- (soft wings) - bday fic for @alarrylarrie and ngl i struggled with it. this whole writing “difficulty” started after the vegas fic. idk.

17- my summer exchange fic, which i finished like.... idk a while back. before it had to be you, i think? maybe right after? can’t remember. 

in between all of this i’ve started like..... idk how many fics that i’ve (temporarily) abandoned. a puppy trainer fic. the sad fic. an exes to lovers fic that takes place during a hurricane. a restaurant au fwb hate to love fic. the other hp1d fic. a soulmate fic. a drunken leg wrestling fic (idk? i’m sorry?). a praise kink fic. 

my current wips that i haven’t abandoned abandoned are my robot fic, maybe that exes to lovers fic, a camper famous/not famous fic....... i think that’s it? idk. 

ANYWAY, OMG ANON I’M SO SORRY.  i’ve just rambled and rambled. i just haven’t been motivated to write at all. and when i have i’ve felt very ehhhh about it. whereas everything else that i’ve written above, i’ve really had fun writing. so basically.... if it’s not fun, i’m not into it. and i think that’s really lazy of me. so there’s like this weird cycle where i’m like “but it’s a hobby so it shoud be fun, but if i don’t write i won’t write, and i should make myself write because sometimes it’s hard.........” blah. but also irl stress and bullshit and maybe that’s what’s bothering me. idk.