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tyrantisterror · 4 years ago

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THE A.T.O.M. CREATE A KAIJU CONTEST 3-D!!!

YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE! YOU THOUGHT THAT THE TIME OF MONSTERS WAS AT AN END! BUT YOU WERE WRONG, FOR NOW YOU MUST WITNESS…

THE A.T.O.M. CREATE A KAIJU CONTEST 3-D!!!

That’s right, it’s back! Celebrating the publication of The Atomic Time of Monsters Volume 2: Tyrantis Roams the Earth! (which in turn completes The Ballad of Tyrantis arc for this series), I’m holding another monster design jam. The third of such jams, in fact!

Like the first A.T.O.M. Create a Kaiju Contest, the aim of this contest is to create kaiju that would fit within the setting of my big kaiju story series, The Atomic Time of Monsters. Think of it as me letting you into my sandbox to play with my toys for a bit, or like you’re being put in the director’s chair of a new ATOM-verse kaiju movie. That means your entry does have to fit into ATOM’s world, which in turn means that yes, there are limitations to your creativity here. But limitations can be good sometimes - they can make us explore options we wouldn’t consider when given completely free rein to do what we want!

(also you don’t have to make a three dimensional image or anything, the title’s just a pun on how the third movie in a monster movie franchise will often be a 3-D film)

Read below the cut to learn the rules and whatnot:

THE RULES:

1. You are limited to one entry per person. Work hard and make your entry count!

2. Your kaiju must have some sort of description of its physical appearance and its personality - you can submit a drawing or a written description (or both!) for the physical appearance depending on what you’re most comfortable with. Using the same template/format as my official ATOM Kaiju Files (https://horrorflora.com/monster-menageries/atom-kaiju-files/) isn’t required, but it was cool when people did it in the last contest, so feel free to do so this time too!

3. The kaiju you create must specifically be created for this contest - no repurposing characters you made for other, wildly different stories. This is not “trick TT into drawing/canonizing my main OC” time.

4. The kaiju must fit the setting and aesthetics of ATOM. I’ll explain this in more detail down below.

5. The kaiju should add something meaningful to the world of ATOM. The more unique and interesting your kaiju is, the more likely you will win the contest.

6. Don’t make your kaiju too dependent on pre-existing ATOM characters - no “Tyrantis’s long lost evil brother who’s the strongest kaiju in the world.” These should be to Tyrantis’s story what War of the Gargantuas is to Godzilla’s movies – heroes (well, monsters) of another story in the same world.

THE REWARDS:

I will make pencil sketches of the top 5 entries in the contest.

I will then make fully rendered illustrations (lineart, colors, & shading) of the top three entries.

The winning entry will be made into a model ala the ones I’ve been making for ATOM’s core 50 monsters, which can then be shipped to the person who created it (should they be able to cover the shipping costs). That’s right, your kaiju could be brought to life in THREE GLORIOUS TECHNICOLOR DIMENSIONS! (Hey, we worked the gag title in to the prizes!)

THE DEADLINE: All entries must be submitted by July 3rd, 2021. You can submit it here on tumblr, via the horror flora e-mail, or any other channel you know how to reach me through. I’m in a lot of places.

THE GUIDELINES (TO HELP YOUR ENTRY FIT THE RULES AND WIN):

The smartest thing you could do if you want to win this contest is familiarize yourself with the world of ATOM by, y’know, reading all the material I’ve published on the subject. In addition to the many kaiju files that are free to read on horrorflora.com, there are now TWO, count ‘em, TWO novels in this series for you to peruse, both of which establish many of the rules of the setting as well as its general themes and tone! You can get them in either paperback or e-book formatting (I’d recommend the former over the latter since I lack the technology to make a really nice ebook, but if money is an object, the kindle version is only $1). Here’s the links again if you missed them:

Vol. 1: Tyrantis Walks Among Us!

Vol. 2: Tyrantis Roams the Earth!

However, since I know reading a bunch of stuff is, y’know, not something everyone is inclined to do, I’ll jot some good bullet points for you in an attempt to outline how ATOM works in a brief, easily digested way:

ATOM is an homage to the monster fiction of the 1950’s and 60’s (i.e. the Atomic Age), and is set in those two decades, albeit an alternate universe version of them where, y’know, monsters and space aliens exist. If you aren’t familiar with the monster fiction I’m referring to, there will be some reference material provided at the end of this post along with some recommendations for further research.

Kaiju/giant monsters in ATOM work under very specific rules. There’s a full description of those rules at this link, but here’s the jist:

ATOM Kaiju are created created by the radiation of a mineral called Yamaneon, which naturally converts harmful radiation into its own unique energy. In natural circumstances, it takes hundreds of years of exposure to Yamaneon radiation for a creature to become fully transform into a kaiju (luckily, Yamaneon radiation slows the aging process while speeding up the healing process). However, an explosive burst of energy - such as the geothermal and kinetic energy released by an earthquake, or the blast of a nuclear weapon - can speed up the process, turning a normal animal into a kaiju within a matter of seconds.

All ATOM kaiju can heal grievous wounds within minutes or even seconds, are supernaturally strong and durable, and can convert harmful radiation to harmless energy that they then feed off of. Kaiju do not have an equivalent of old age, and can theoretically live forever (though their violent lifestyle means that few do).

ATOM Kaiju generally don’t need to eat unless they are severely injured, getting most of the energy they need from solar or geothermal radiation - but many still have instincts that drive them to seek out food from time to time.

Most ATOM kaiju stand roughly 100 feet tall (depending on their body shape), i.e. smaller than the original 1954 Godzilla. There are exceptions to this rule - younger kaiju can be smaller, while exceedingly old kaiju can be significantly larger, but these are rare.

In general, ATOM kaiju are significantly more intelligent and emotionally complex than people expect animals to be, though most are incapable of speech or complex tool use. There’s a reason ATOM Kaiju Files have a “personality” section.

Most ATOM Kaiju are tooth and claw fighters - ranged weapons are a rarity in this setting.

While the terrestrial monsters in ATOM look strange, they are intended to fit within the taxonomy of animals in reality - reptiles, mammals, fish, arthropods, molluscs, etc.

ATOM’s mesozoic era was dominated by a fictional clade of crocodile-relatives called retrosaurs, which are based on the outdated paleoart that one would find in the 1950’s/60’s fiction - i.e. when dinosaurs were viewed as trail dragging lizards instead of strange birds. You can learn more about retrosaurs here (https://horrorflora.com/2016/11/15/atom-kaiju-file-bonus-a-guide-to-retrosaurs/).

Kaiju appear on every continent in ATOM, but certain areas tend to be dominated by different types.

North America is mainly besieged by retrosaur kaiju and giant arthropods.

East Asia is technically also mainly plagued by retrosaurs and big arthropods, though they tend to look more fantastical and mythic - and, often, oddly well suited to being portrayed by a person wearing a monster suit.

Russia is beset by prehistoric monsters that seem to come from the Cenozoic, particularly the Ice Age.

Western Europe is plagued by creatures that vaguely resemble creatures from myth, if they were also prehistoric. Dragon-y lizards, fiery birds, etc.

Towards the mid-way point of ATOM’s timeline, earth is invaded by a coalition of aliens from different solar systems called the Beyonder Alliance, and as a result a bunch of alien monsters can be found on earth.

Mars and Venus both host (or hosted in Mars’s case) animal life. The surviving Martians colonized Venus, and sent some of their kaiju guardians to earth to help us fend off the Beyonders (who are responsible for the destruction of Mars’s ecosystem). Martian and Venusian kaiju have specific anatomical quirks, which you can see by looking at these kaiju files:

Venusians:

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/03/atom-kaiju-file-29-karamtor/

Martians:

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-39-kemlasulla/

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-40-podritak/

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-41-sombarvot/

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-38-ullawdra/

Giant robots exist in ATOM, but are big, bulky, and incredibly expensive. Fancy beam weapons also exist, but are similarly clunky - there are no sleek, elegant machines in ATOM.

Since the fiction ATOM takes inspiration from was made at a time when interplanetary travel was only just beginning to be possible, its scope is significantly smaller than modern sci-fi. Alternate universes/dimensions were pretty uncommon because the idea of alien planets still held a lot of wonder to it. So, as a general rule, don’t try to go farther than the one galaxy.

ATOM is a setting for stories that are focused on humanity learning to coexist with monsters, rather than humanity destroying them. A certain level of sympathy is put into almost every creature of its canon, even the ones that are meant to be villains.

REFERENCE MATERIAL

Here is a playlist of 1950′s monster movie trailers.

Here is some reference material from various monster comics of the 50′s and 60′s.

Good movies to track down to understand ATOM’s inspiration and tone include Ghidorah the 3 Headed Monster, Son of Godzilla, Destroy All Monsters, Them!, The Black Scorpion, 20 Million Miles to Earth, Gamera, The Giant Claw, and The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra.

And here’s the intro cutscenes for all the different giant monsters in the PS2 videogame War of the Monsters.

#The Atomic Time of Monsters #The ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3D

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kierongillen · 6 years ago

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Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 41

Spoilers, obv.

After last issue's formalism, this one just accelerates. And, as everything in this arc, everything is a big beat. If everything is a big beat, how do you choose what to spend your space on? What beats really matter? How do you pace it? What can be a grace note and what's a scene? That's what this issue, and the rest of the arc, tends to be about.

This issue has gone down very well. I'll admit that while I absolutely gasped when I got paged in, I suspect it's going to be least favourite of the whole arc. That more says how much I enjoy the rest of the arc. Also, as a friend put it to me, I may be allergic to making people happy.

Let’s get on with this.

Jamie and Matt's cover:

There is, to some degree, a "Who hasn't had a headshot cover?" to this arc. As such, Mimir finally gets his. This is a glorious one – the pinks and blues, work really well, and the circuitboards frame it well. Obviously, Mimir plays a big role in this issue, so it is thematic. As is…

Paulina's cover

I just love Paulina's covers, as her being the regular alt-cover artist on Thunderbolt should imply. This made me want to immediately pitch a kick-ass pop D&D bard comic to someone, Xena Warrior Princess as produced by Xenomania. The names of the swords are the chef-kiss, but there's so much to love. The expression is everything.

Page 1

One page scene, with a modified nine panel grid. The one page scene is something that happens a lot this arc. I did a two-page version, but with the right seven panels, we're sorted. Yes, this is all we see of the de facto antagonists of the series this issue – when last issue was all about them, it doesn't worry me too much.

Page 2

Standard music journalist concept. That the second album tends to be worst than the first. Hard to prove, though my old friend Peter's note that "you have your whole life preparing for your first album and have a year to do your second" does seem to imply an easy explanation.

Page 3-4-5

Stealth mission! It's Metal Gear WicDiv!

We actually forgot to add the flashes to the first panel until the very last minute. Monthly Comics is a hell of a time sometimes, stress the “hell.”

I love the determination of Laura in the second panel of 3. That's great eyes.

Looking at this now, that "I can't do much now" is in a panel smaller than 1/9th of the page says a lot about the scale she's working on. The background was Matt in full trippy mode – I had a friend note that this scene is a little akin to Kohl in Rue Britannia 5 (The difference being Kohl is using nostalgia for a performance, while Laura is just doing a performance) but the moving squiggle does remind me the use of optical illusions in Phonogram 3. Bugs in the optic nerve are our friend.

Panel 3 on 4 is obviously Clayton living large and conquering. When you ask for something like "Can you sample the background and use as a speech balloon" you have no idea if it's going to work.

We could have divided the middle panel into two, but I suspect it'd have been less effective. We've seen the trick before. Now we see the same trick, but different. Mix it up. We're performers.

Hmm. I realise the Norns string of balloons is something I'm doing more often now – it's not something I've always done. I'm normally a one-panel-one-emotion, which strings of dialogue rarely allow (as, if there’s any change of emotion inside the string, the image is rendered ludicrous). In a middle shot, and a strong emotional throughline with the dialogue and I'm more okay with it.

While this whole three pages is an action sequence, it's also exposition for Laura's current state. The best exposition is demonstration, I guess.

I mean, the last panel of page 5? That's how cut to the bone we are. Problem? Solve it. Problem? Solve it. We don't need to fuck around anymore.

Page 6-7-8

And after six whole trades, the reunion between Lucifer and Laura. I suspect a different writer would have played this bigger and more melodramatic, but when the reader knows this, a splash feels overkill, especially with the taut pacing of the rest of the issue. However... there are five panels here. That's a page's worth of content, and enough to give an emotional throughline.

Sometimes when writing it's all about trying to find an honest response which is also unexpected. Like, in life, you think you'll feel sad or happy at certain times, but when you live through it, you don't. Or you don't entirely. What other stuff is happening? That's what rings true to me.

Anyway – that's where Laura's Guilt comes from. Laura at her most Dionysus.

And then Lucifer shatters all that self pity with the wink. Did you miss me? Of course, you did.

Page 7, panel 4 is one of those "a comic panel is not a moment in time" bits of magic McLeod always talks about. As in, as we read across the panel time progresses. The Mimir/Cass conversation is getting on for... 10 seconds, maybe? The teleport signatures do not take that long to appear. It's only with Laura's interruption that panel kicks into high gear.

As Multiversity noted you can easily imagine another draft of this with a bigger fight scene. And it's true – but also lying around was a version which cuts it even shorter. Do we need to really give a whole page to Cass breaking out? I felt so. Without the big beat, it feels flat. And it's good to see Cass let rip.

The slight angle on Jamie's external shot with a Norns black/white plus golden thread from Matt is really interesting. We don't often see the Norns as combatants in WicDiv, so this is a rare chance to give Cass a "Hello, I am a bad ass too, in case you've forgotten."

Page 9-10-11-12

Cripes. Going this and making notes I can't believe how tightly we're winding this and (more so) getting away from it. We did all this in four pages?

Two panels to the escape – the right image and a handful of taut captions to hold you between scenes. The first is doing a lot of work, but the second is just elegant. What do you need but the broken doors? Great stuff by Jamie here.

(Laura's captions do a lot of work here in setting up the themes, and the return of Sakhmet's memory to the story)

If you're wondering "How on earth could we get the escape be quicker, it's to take the first two panels on page 8 and move to the previous page. That makes it a five panel page, which is entirely do-able. That's a cost, but it would have bought slightly more space in this scene. As it is, I preferred to cut mid-page and end with Lucifer's first spoken lines in ages.

Once more, a big reveal in a small panel. Chrissy's note on the script was basically hearts for Luci at this point. Like, the second she cuts to the chase and tell s people what to do...

...and then the page turn, and she just goes full Lucifer. I know you lot have missed her, but I have too.

Getting back to Inanna was also easy, the sweetheart... but it all leads back to Sakhmet. That Mothering Invention was as tight as it was didn't leave much room for Laura to think about Sakhmet, or mourn at all... or, most of all, make it clear the story (and Laura) considers her loss important and real. It's an awful sad panel at the end of the page.

Inanna's voice was easy to find again. He's such a sweetheart. Tara is a little harder, just as I wrote her less, but I've been fascinated by this arc in terms of writing her as an actual character. I think one of the ironies of issue 13 was that it put Tara on a pedestal, and the pedestal is an objectifying as any other cage. Getting her back as a character is wonderful, and she gets to be as messy and flawed as everyone else.

Inanna not knowing ANY of this is hard. That's the problem with most of this arc – there is so much information flying around, and secrets some (but not all) are aware of. Who gets to respond to what and when? What to remind people of? What to let slide? Inanna not knowing about Baal is so huge it had to be hit and hit hard.

And then... the bodies.

When plotting this and trying to work out how I could get the cast – oh god, this is not a deliberate pun, but it's also clearly a pun - back on their feet, I was thinking of the Morrigan Gambit. Three heads, three bodies. Perfect. Then I remembered Mimir, and swore. I started to think about how that would be a tense, dramatic situation and how the personal politics could play out and I realised that Tara would just turn it down. I then realised that's exactly how the scene would work too.

(In a "tightness" thing, I suspect in another world, this scene would have been two pages. The "and Tara then just butts in" is the key thing, but you could get the timing a little more intricate to sell the moment more – still, even in this page, I could have extended it more, but seeing Tara's elaboration and everyone else's response to it was just key work for them all.)

In passing – Mimir's glowing in the dark in the penultimate panel just wonderful. Nice work Jamie and Matt.

Page 13

From the Sisters of Mercy's song, Marian.

Page 14-15-16-17

Here's where you talk about spending space. What's important here? You need the scale to show what Baph has been doing – and Jamie turns it into something astoundingly gothic. The use of blacks, the use of light and shade. Just the right level of suggestive. It’s one of my favourite bits of composition in the issue.

As the pantheon are getting back together, this leads to an increase in crowd scenes, which are the eternal artist killer. As such, I'm looking for solutions which only involve the absolute minimum of the cast in a scene.

Thee was an awful moment earlier in the issue when I went – wait! Do I have too many heads to carry? Then I realised I was fine. That said, finding places to put them down so we can have chat scenes was also somewhat tricky. The shelf turning up on page 15 is an example. Clealry Baph planned to (er) have a place to keep heads.

Well, I say, Baph, but it's clearly Nergal now. The road from early Nick Cave to late Nick Cave has been a long way. It's a great shot.

To go back to the space, why spend it on this? We’re reintroducing Nergal and Morrigan, and we’re also showing the scale of them in the plot, and the actions of Nergal. Where we go with the bodies is such a big beat, it needs to come from something similarly large. That’s also the reason why so much (relative in the issue) space is spent on the Morrigan/Nergal scenes. Of course, it’s also a key scene for this subplot, so demands space for that. It’s rarely just one reason. Probably a useful time for my usual “these notes are only ever a selection of thoughts.”

This is also a serious pose panel by Jamie.

The “I could bring her back.” He’s an underworld god too. If she could do it, he could. This is something which I suspect some people thought implicit in the old scene, but the final manipulation of Morrigan is unpacked at length in the nine panel grids.

Nine panel grids are a natural rhythm for this – when I was planning the later bit the triple-goddess of it made obvious sense, so it expanded to the whole scene. Also, the cropped image reduces the possibility of a Jamie crowd scene.

I always thought that, given the amount of time the various characters get on film, Ladyhawke could more accurately be called Blokeywolf. I digress.

Page 18-19-20

As said earlier, the triple-goddess to nine panel grid is one of those natural ways to give a stress to each of the elements. You’ll notice the clicks are left then right then centre. I’d originally written it as left to right, before – after Chrissy’s Editorial urging – rewrote to end with the Macha section to go last. Gentle Annie may have been the kinder part of Morrigan, but Macha was the part he mostly dated.

Then, in a moment of weirdness, Jamie actually drew it in the original order, despite never having seen that script. Morrigan has powers, as does the logical necessity of a left to right panelling order. As a nine panel grid, just moving panels around to fix it is easy. Hail grids!

Like most of the big acts of magic, it’s all about emotional sense than anything else. Hence, it is inevitable as Nergal actually does this, the bleak temple he’s constructed starts to crumble. And, in perhaps the most ludicrous bit of me in the comic, The Temple Of Love Is Falling Down. Too much is the bare minimum.

Jamie’s triple-portrait of the Morrigan is pretty startling. I have no idea if Jamie will miss drawing Badb’s hair, but I’ll miss seeing it.

Re-reading this now I’m struck by how low-key it is. That was always part of WicDiv’s magic – the finger click, and then things happening. The Morrigan transformation was usually drawn to be instantaneous – one panel Macha, the next Badb and so on. This kind of keeps to that.

And then… the reveal. That the new bodies isn’t a splash page says everything about this issue, but it still gets the punching the air moment. We had to have one of those eventually. Lucifer in a black suit is one of the things I’ve been waiting as long to see as Nergal in his. I giggled with glee at seeing this. Jamie’s worked in elements of the Morrigan into each of the gods – Lucifer’s red hair is the most obvious one, but Gentle Annie in Inanna and Macha in Mimir also have their notes. Inanna’s netting top is the main one – and note the shapes on Mimir’s armour changing to mimic Macha’s.

Yes, writing Lucifer remains fun and easy. I recommend it to everyone.

Page 21-22

In terms of seeing chat, people responding to the small details in the issue is one of the bigger joys. That Jamie got the Inanna/Nergal hug in the background of this exchange between Laura/Lucifer/Cass is absolutely wonderful. Laura and Cass have come a long way.

This is arguably a small cliffhanger – the smallest of this arc, at least. However, it sits on the weight of the rest of the run. We’re promising a solution to one of the larger mysteries in the run, and I suspect we get by on that. Note how space is used – this is a dense panel layout, but we go to a thired of a page for Laura’s “I know how to end this” (so giving it weight” and then going to three panel page for the conclusion (which adds weight to each of these beats.) Jamie takes the framing to tight on Cass for the beat as well to sell it. Note Matt with the Norn-colouring creeping in – and how it goes from the fires in the first panel to this is just a joy.

Page 23

Interstitial, and obvious reference to the Jay-Z record, but everyone is just excitedly clapping over the adding stuff to the godwheel. Sergio outdid himself here. It’s certainly an example of how you can have storytelling and even hero-shot audience-cheers beats out of things entirely unlike a traditional comics panel. After all these issue,s we get to see something added to the godwheel. Of course people cheer. That said, as I said to a friend, “Of all the things I’ve found to torture the WicDiv readership, hope is the cruelest of all.”

EDIT: Actually, I messed up here - Jamie did the tweaks. Nice work Jamie!

And that’s it. Next up – 42, wherein questions are answered. In passing – the letters we’ve been getting are amazing. I’m going to try and cram as many as I can in the issues to come, but issue 44 will be our last one with a letters page. So that’s a timelimit if you wanna try and get in. It’s [email protected].

Thanks for reading.

#WicDiv #the wicked and the divine #writer notes

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hoodlessmads · 6 years ago

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Bloom Into You Chapter 41

…is maybe the literal cutest thing I’ve ever read.

I love how that teacher’s like, “What the hell were you doing in the student council room this late?” and they’re like, “Sorry, we just needed this key so we could go have our soapy love confession scene in there but you can have it back now.”

And they’re not quite full-on holding hands on the way home, but they’re just kinda

Just

Just kinda

Screaming.

The panel layout on the page where they’re both laying in bed awake thinking about each other is so lovely. How Yuu looks like she’s looking at Touko but she’s actually not because they’re in their own rooms but she actually is because they’re on the same page literally. And Touko’s adorable “that all just happened” expression as she’s holding her hand.

I find it interesting that as the manga has gone on and as the anime has gone into production and aired, the manga itself has begun to embrace those water themes more and more. Like, I don’t remember water being such a huge deal at the beginning of the manga, but it’s a highly prevalent visual motif in the anime. We see Yuu underwater when she feels distanced from her friends in the classroom, there’s underwater lighting at some points in the opening iirc, and this all comes to a head beautifully in the actual aquarium scene where they are underwater, with Touko looking up at the fish and stuff above them and Yuu leading Touko by the hand into the light, which she had previously felt so distant from. Anyway, it’s just nice how several of the past few chapter covers have featured Yuu underwater reaching toward the surface/the light, and this title talking about sea charts reminded me of that. I guess it’s meant to be like, she’s above water now. On the ocean, which is this whole new thing to navigate.

I love how Yuu comes skipping into school all pumped about her friends’ lives and literally anything at all because she’s in such a good mood and how shy she gets when asked if anything good happened, and the fact that she immediately took that charm out of the drawer and put it on her bag. Like, Yuu in this whole chapter is a whole ass “FINALLY” mood.

I love how the panel layout and our sense of time almost makes it look like Touko has been standing at the door to the classroom for a minute trying to gather the courage to face Sayaka the same way, as though things haven’t changed between them, or at least to face her at all. She goes in looking all determined, like she’s decided she’s going to say something to Sayaka because Sayaka deserves it and it’s only right, but then stops at “Good morning,” and doesn’t end up saying anything else, kind of chickens out, just looks over pensively wondering if she should say something, and if that’s not a Touko ass thing to do I don’t know what is lol. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if she’s still brooding about what to say after school, trying to be all responsible, determined to be the liaison between friend and girlfriend. And meanwhile Yuu and Sayaka are as functional as ever and come to an understanding and reaffirm that they are best friends for life in like two seconds before Touko can even finish thinking about it. God, I adore Yuu and Sayaka’s friendship so much.

But the main point that the classroom scene got across for me was that things aren’t the same between Touko and Sayaka now. It’s awkward. It’s different. There’s a distance between them now that wasn’t there before. And while they will still be friends after this (for a while, if we believe the second light novel to be canon), this is definitely the beginning of them slowly drifting apart. I think it’s a good thing. Sayaka especially could use the opportunity to move on. Staying as close of friends as they were just wouldn’t be a healthy scenario for either of them, especially now that so many things have come to light that they previously kept secret from each other. As much as she does know her weaknesses and still love her, it still feels like there’s a part of Touko that Sayaka never really knew. They have both changed and grown so much since the beginning of the series, and the people they are now just aren’t as compatible as they once were, as friends or otherwise. I hope Sayaka comes to realize this sooner rather than later so that it can start hurting less.

Honestly this chapter filled my heart with fluffy cuteness like a water tank about to bust from too much pressure and I almost died from it, but that ONE panel with Sayaka’s face after she sees Yuu’s charm broke me. Nakatani is a master. That facial expression was just so raw. I hate to see her hurting like that. Sayaka is truly too good for this world. God, please future girlfriend, please love her well.

But Yuu and Sayaka’s friendship waters my crops. That cheek slap and stretch routine is a blatant gesture of unbridled affection disguised as fake irritation and you cannot convince me otherwise. This whole scene. Ugh, she’s so…nice?

Touko’s flustered reaction at seeing Yuu and Sayaka being such legitimately chill friends and having worked out all their issues while she was brooding and being anxious will never cease to amuse me. I love her, I try to defend Touko so much, but it’s scenes like this that prove once again that she’s actually just the yuri equivalent of a fuckboy, god bless her heart. I do adore her.

It’s been quite a while since we’ve seen disaster gay Nanami Touko so I was quite glad to see her make several appearances this chapter. They’re both trying so hard to be chill during the student council meeting but they both helplessly look up at each other at the same time. Or perhaps Yuu looks up helplessly and Touko is just dead ass staring at her, smitten. And Touko is so determined to type very important things afterwards. How is Nakatani so good at drawing cute ass snapshots of cute ass people? And I love how they’re…are ya’ll holding hands with your feet now? It’s adorable. Keep doing it.

Maki is that audience insert.

Same.

Doujima’s still completely oblivious that there are lesbians in this show.

So Yuu. I am always a huge sucker for when characters who are traditionally pretty unemotional get to a point where they’re so emotional that they can’t help but display that emotion in a way that’s uncharacteristic of how they’ve been up to this point, but for that reason is so incredibly satisfying to watch. It is so satisfying to see this adorable person that we’ve come to know and love finally get to this point. Yuu is honestly the best part of all of this fluff, by far. Talk about acting experience. This whole time, she’s worn the world’s greatest poker face, and now that she can finally let herself be the absolute gay mess she actually is, she’s just barely keeping it all in and it’s so adorable and gratifying. You wouldn’t have known this girl could get so red and flustered but damn if she isn’t and it is so fucking cute.

She’s so eager to finally say Touko’s name (with senpai), and in spite of how flustered and head over heels she is, she’s still the same functional and straightforward Yuu we’ve always known. She comes right out and tries to DTR within like an hour of having the initial thought. The response: “Girlfriends? I haven’t thought about it. I guess we are.” Touko, this is why you’re a meme.

And on the flip side of Yuu being so embarrassed, Touko’s all, “Stand aside, I’m Character Development Touko now. I’m not the flustered disaster lesbian you once knew. I’m Smooth Touko now. I’m the new and improved Kiss Your Tears Touko. I troll Yuu about saying my name and not the other way around. I’m smooth as hell now.” But then as soon as “Touko-senpai” comes out she’s just like “fuck.”

Their conversation about happiness at the end is really moving to me, because they’ve moved past the “ureshii” happiness they were talking about last chapter and they’re now talking “shiawase,” which specifically refers to lasting happiness. If that isn’t the deepest most romantic shit. I also feel like bringing up the way Yuu casually mentioned the idea of girlfriends living together at some point in the future and it was just kind of glossed over as if this girl is not already playing the long game with Touko and I’m crying inside. Because I genuinely believe they’ll get there and I always thought so, but this nod from canon is glorious. (You’ve been dating for one day, Yuu, chill.) But in all seriousness, Yuu, you absolute head over heels in love sap. This talk of girlfriends living together and this repeated mention of lasting happiness (has me feeling all types of ways) tells me where Yuu’s head is at. How serious her feelings actually are. Like, that’s marriage material, bitch. She’s that happy. I’m just…so happy for her.

I find it interesting that we haven’t really been in Touko’s head since she texted Yuu on the train in chapter whatever, and not since the confession scene last chapter. We’ve mostly been with Yuu ever since. Even that one classroom scene I would argue is more from Sayaka’s point of view. I hope next chapter we get a little more from Touko’s side. I have a feeling we’ll get something like a Touko-centric chapter at some point, as I feel her personal character arc and the whole thing with her sister still need some polishing off before we can bring the story to a close. But that’s just me.

In some ways, it’s a shame that there’s so few pages left before the end of the story. Yuu and Touko’s new relationship is completely uncharted territory for them now (not to unintentionally make a pun on the chapter title). That period of excitement and uncertainty at the beginning of a new relationship is always one of the most gratifying things to explore in a story for me, so I wish we had more time. There are so many interesting things to explore with this entire cast of characters that just won’t get explored, simply because of time constraints. Still, the flip side is that ending it here in volume 8 will give Bloom Into You the succinct, satisfying conclusion it deserves to a well-structured, well-paced arc, with absolutely no excess anywhere in sight. Bloom Into You is such a brilliant exercise in telling a complete, engaging story while trimming all the fat. Some romance stories can end up feeling bloated in terms of pacing and structure, but I have a feeling this is going to be just perfect. (Unless Nakatani Nio, actual manga genius and icon, somehow manages to fuck it up. Not likely.)

Once again, I’m excited to see where Nakatani takes us and the characters next. I can’t wait to see certain characters’ reactions to the new relationship, like Akari, Koyomi, and Rei. And god, I would love to see more of Yuu and Touko navigating this new relationship, what it means, what the rules are, how they define it to themselves and others. Basically, I just want to know what happens next. Is that too much to ask? Can’t I just know what happens next? God damn it.

#bloom into you #yagate kimi ni naru #yagakimi #i like talking about yagakimi #like a lot #it got progressively later at night/early morning as i wrote this so i dont even know whats happening anymore

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teacupfulofstarshine · 7 years ago

Note

41 with Analogical because i am WEAK

me: you literally just wrote this prompt with this pairingme to me: bUt AnalOGIcalme: shit you’re right

@fandersfic-analogical

pairings: romantic analogical (i hope this makes up for the cliffhanger loves)

41: “every time i see you, i fall in love with you all over again.” (tw: none) (pattonella!au)

virgil wakes up slowly, in a pool of liquid sunshine. he’s wrapped in a thick quilt, sinking into a soft mattress and soft pillows, and he can feel the mattress moving slowly up and down beneath him and -

wait. mattresses don’t move.

virgil blinks his eyes open, warm and drowsy. his head shifts, just a little, and he takes special care not to wake up the person he’s sleeping on.

logan, the king’s second son, prince of the kingdom, snores softly. virgil is laying on his chest, head tucked in the curve of logan’s left shoulder with his face pressed into logan’s warm neck. one of logan’s arms is tight around virgil’s waist, the other one across his torso. virgil’s arms are spread to the sides, around logan, and their legs are all woven together.

logan makes an unintelligible noise and rolls onto his side. virgil lets out a soft exhale as logan pulls him along, and then they’re face-to-face with their noses touching. logan grumbles, tightens his grip, and nuzzles his face forwards against virgil’s.

“morning, sleepyhead,” virgil murmurs. logan’s face twitches, and he doesn’t open his eyes. instead, he pushes his head forward gently, rubbing their noses together.

“good morning, darling,” logan rasps, and god, virgil loves this. he loves early-morning logan, when he hasn’t fully woken up, when his voice is slow and thick and he’s unashamed to use copious pet names.

“how are you today, prince logan?”

logan yawns, slowly, and his eyes open. they’re a dark, piercing blue, but the sunlight hits them just right and they’re illuminated, like looking up from the bottom of a pool on a summer’s day. “i am glorious,” he answers. “and how are you today, prince virgil?”

“it’s really weird to hear you say that,” virgil says. logan chuckles, quietly.

“well, we did only get married yesterday. you haven’t even been a prince for twenty-four hours yet.”

“i don’t think it’ll ever stop being weird,” virgil says honestly. “i don’t think there will ever be a day when i wake up and fail to be amazed by the way my life turned out.”

logan hums. “and that humbleness is one of my favorite qualities of yours, dear. not that i don’t love all of them.”

he shifts his face forward just a little bit, and his lips find virgil’s. they’ve both got morning breath something fierce, but virgil has long become desensitized. they kiss for a few minutes, slow and unhurried. virgil’s drowsiness is accentuated by the warmth of the sunshine and the warmth of logan’s mouth and the softness of the bed and the softness of logan’s hands.

he’s never been more in love than this moment.

virgil pulls back, carefully, and drinks in the sight of logan’s face.

“i know that look, my love,” logan whispers, and they’re still so close that his lips sweep against virgil’s with every word. “what’s on your mind?”

“you,” virgil answers. “i just … god, logan, every time i see you, i fall in love with you all over again.”

logan smiles, face slowly turning pink. “i love you, prince virgil,” he says.

“and i love you, prince logan,” virgil answers, and their mouths are so close together that he barely has to move to kiss his new husband again.

(I HOPE THIS MAKES UP FOR THAT CLIFFHANGER I GAVE YOU GUYS!!! HAVE SOME SOFT FLUFFY MORNING HUSBANDS!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!)

taglist below!!! (if you wanna be added, lmk!)

@romaning-daydreams@bunny222@phlying-squirrel@scorching-scotch@accio-hufflepuff-power @apersonwhoisafander@toujours-fidele @ironwoman359@ab-artist @a-lexicon-of-words @samathekittycat @confinesofpersonalknowledge @backatthebein@princeanxious @serious-ppl-wear-neckties @charmingsides@ascreamingstrawberry @um-yes-hi-hello @thekeytohappiness-is-you@smartestowlgirl@vsmol-changling @silverrhayn @221b-quote @gatlily@generalfandomfabulousness @deverick-racoma @dkg-racoma @crystrifoglio@starryfirefliesbloggo@fabkatxiety@justanotherpurplebutterfly@minshinxx@hpjkfgw@pearls-of-patton@clearlyaloserandadork@couch-potato-1890 @isdisorigionalenoughforyou@notveryglittery @imantisocialgetoverit@deamondisciple@purplepatton@iris-sanders-athena@magicalmayhems@anaveragegayfanenby@fightingswedes@chaosgaminggirl@book-of-charlie@anuninspiredpoet@wicked-delights@bleaktuber@purpleshipper@highfivegirl404@derp-a-la-sheep@c4t1l1n4@illiani@maxiswriting@cutie-whore@magnificentme513@no-life-no-problem@sockpansy @oakleee@ocotopushugs@mauvelavender@meisfander@hahanoiwont@ravenclawunicorn1@that1theatregirl@nightmareelmst@certifiedfangirlluna@bread-potato@gaygreekboi@drawyoursword@thebeautyofthomas @tiny-enby@singjoanna

#starshineanswers #starshinewrites #sanders sides #sanders sides cinderella!au #sanders sides fairy tales #pattonella!au #pattonella!au fic #analogical #logan sanders #virgil sanders #this is my apology for the cliffhanger

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borisbubbles · 6 years ago

Text

14. Cyprus

Eleni Foureira - “Fuego” Runner-up

youtube

What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing and that resistance is overcome. --Friedrich Nietzsche

Judging by that quote, Eleni must be a very happy woman because she has overcome a LOT. She entered Eurovision with a slew of drawbacks: As a sexually confident woman with a sultry song, she was always going to inspire contempt. As a fugitive Albanian, the Greek support other Cypriot entries had would be only conditional for Eleni at best. Her voice (or apparent lack thereof), of course, was a major point of discussion, among Greeks and Eurovision Tumblr Bloggers alike (ahem). As someone who was hyped and pimped by her Loud Obnoxious Fanbase as someone better than she actually was, she was always going to alienate neutrals by proxy.

So going into this year, Eleni faced a fairly uphill battle. Guess what?

She fucking slayed it.

From the moment this woman, no, this GAZELLE, serenly glided onto the stage, unfazed, confident and battle-ready, she was snatching weaves left, right and centre. Any man would pay the price of sweet surrender, for the promise in her eyes it was so tender. She provided a action-pumped show that was captivating, mesmerizing even, for a full three minutes. My God, did “Fuego” look good.

Out of all the acts that could’ve won the Sasha Jean-Baptiste Raffle, I’m glad “Fuego” did because Eleni absolutely was the one whom I felt needed it the most. Partially because Eleni is an utter gem of a person. She’s the epitome of the Lovable Dimwit Archetype (”Eleni what does your song mean?” “it means... yeah yeah, fire ^__^”) Mostly because Eleni had two pretty big problems: She has a fairly crappy voice and she has a fairly crappy song.

The voice I don’t mind though. Yeah, it’s not as crisp as the rest of the top five (literally crisp if we count Moro’s, whose voice sounds like someone crushing doritos with their bare hands), but Eleni’s vocals being shit was telegraphed way in advance so idek how you could be shocked at this fucking stage. For all the buzz it generated, I expected way worse? Eleni’s vocals don’t detract from the experience and at times even enhance it. Her voice just... withers at the funniest of moments:

And then the disaster note gets echoed around the Altice Arena TWICE <3 (also “Yeah Eyes of a Linus <3)

The song, however, I mind significantly more. Surely Cyprus made the most out of what they were given and “Fuego” was an excellent frame for that brilliant act, but Dear God. I’ve said it several times before, but “Fuego” would make an excellent winner in two-thousand-and-EIGHT, but not two-thousand-and-fucking-EIGHTEEN. Even by Eurovision’s hopelessly antiquated Musical standards (”Hey guys we found out about this CRAZE that’s sweeping the musical scene we should add it to all our entries” “what’s it called?” “Dubstep” -- Eurovision in 2013), “Fuego” is hopelessly dated. It’s a nice throwback to the halcyon days of the Eastern Miniskirted Goddess (and “Fuego” is better than, say, “Secret Combination” and “Düm Tek Tek”), but this is not even remotely near “My Number One”, “Qele Qele” or “Shady Lady” levels of glorious hip-shaking femdom imo.

“Fuego”’s utter lack of originality also came to the attention of the Eurosnobs who began disliking Eleni for... the fucking wrongest, stupidest reasons why am I not surprised? “UM SHE’S LIKE BEYONCE HOW AWFUL” First of all, Beyoncé doesn’t fucking have a monopoly on this type of music, Second of all, you’re making it sound as if being like Queen Bay is a bad thing??? Third of all, STFUUUU!!! WHY EVEN WATCH EUROVISION IF YOU’RE NOT WILLING TO BASK IN THE GLORY OF THIS DESPERATE SLUTPOP ANTHEM

At the end of the gay, I really like “Fuego”. Well, that is to say, I like what it became on the Eurovision stage, but that’s ultimately what matters most. Despite the hate she got, Eleni absolutely deserved to finish as high as she did based on her live performances. On the flipside, if I were to never listen to “Fuego” again, I wouldn’t miss it, at all. Now that we’re ready to fully move on to the next tier, I do have *higher* “spam replay button on Youtube” standards that “Fuego” sadly, does not meet. STILL A BETTER UNDERDOG STORY THAN NETTA THO

RANKING SO FAR:

14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We Got Love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Josef - “Lie to me”)

FOOTNOTES

1) I would argue that Eleni probably had the best underdog story out of everyone this year. This year had plenty of them, many of which are still in this ranking (Ieva, Eugent, DoReDoS, etc), but there really is something to be said about the constant barrage of persecution, xenophobia and mockery Eleni had to deal with and overcome in both LIFE and this contest. Pity she wasn’t a chicken woman or it would’ve won her the contest.

2) In case anyone wonders, I was pretty much “France or Estonia or DIE” for pretty much the entire season, so as you can imagine, I wasn’t too impressed with the top five we got (um, yeah not like I didn’t already boot 4/5 of them lul) Out of the DIRE top five we were given, Eleni probably should have won? (I loved Germany -obviousspoiler- but moreso because they didn’t win) Ugh I can’t with this year sometimes.

#Eurovision Song Contest #Eurovision 2018 #Cyprus #Eleni Foureira #Fuego

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garethito · 6 years ago

Note

You know... I've been meaning to ask you about this for a while, and yesterday's tag thing that you did with those Bale gifs only like... fueled? My curiosity? Lol, if that makes sense. Could you like... relive? The Champions League final from this year for us? Like, your perspective on it? Or maybe even the actual whole day of the final? Sorry, God, I know this is weird, but I just love how you tell stories from your life! I have seen you do it with some other anons once!

First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH for this like, you guys always send me such interesting questions and Im so??? and OMG no this is not weird stop this is such a wonderful question to ask!! And omg you liked how I told the stories to those anons that is so sweet thank you so muchhhhh ❤️❤️💝❤️💘💘💞💞💘

But also this is making me really emotional I dont think I will be able to write this without tearing up but here we go!!! I was at school today and we had a special day so we didnt make any classes, so I had time to formulate an answer to this, and to complete it at home 💞

Quick WARNING?? Yes I am perfectly aware of how crazy and overdramatic this whole story sounds, but the thing is that this is how I truly feel about this day in my life. So yeah lol. Football is basically my life!

I would like to start this by saying that the day of the 26th of May 2018 is the most important day of my entire life as a football fan. There is nothing that could even come close to this. Absolutely nothing. Never in my life have I cried like in that night. Never. Absolutely never. I have looked at my life as a person, at my hardest times, when I cried a lot, but not even that can even slightly compare to the amount of crying that I have done on that glorious day of May 7 months ago. When I say crying, though, I dont actually mean crying, no. I mean violently sobbing, screaming at the top of my lungs, shaking and feeling numb. But in the best way possible, the happiest tears that I ever shedded.

My actual perspective, like you said, though, starts from the 2nd of May, a day after our semi-final second leg against Bayern. From that day, until the 26th, my mind, my body, my soul only thought about the final. I could not even focus on the Clasico on the 6th, neither on the last La Liga match. I was so fucking nervous, words are not sufficient to describe….. At least once every 2-3 days I would go to the bathroom with severe stomach aches and sit there until I would try to calm myself down so that my grandmother wouldnt get worried. I thank God, the Universe, or whoever you think invented life for the fact that highschool had nothing special during that period, just a few tests, that I got the best grades on, because had there been something big, I would have surely failed. That was a nightmare. Just think about it. Horrible La Liga season, then those fucking shaky as fuck second leg matches against Juve AND Bayern. I was literally so pessimistic that I am scaring myself right now thinking about it. All these bad scenarios played through my head ”What if Zizou loses his job? What if this will be the start of our downfall? What if this is the last Champions League final we will play? What if, what if, what if….”. I always tried to tell my brain how stupid I was, that we are Real Madrid and that we will win, like we always do, that we are the best fucking team in the Universe and that nobody even comes close to being like us. But its like these voices in my head wouldnt stop, it was so scary.

Come 25th of May I was an actual lifeless corpse. No matter how much I tried to call my best friend, who was in Bulgaria at that time, and telling her that I cant take this anymore, and her telling me that its going to be okay like it always is, that she doesnt really know my team well but she knows we will win, no matter how much of that was happening, I couldnt fucking stop being nervous and constantly thinking about this match.

On the morning of the 26th I woke up with a severe headache at about 8:30-9 AM. The only things that I remember from that whole day are the constant empty feeling, the amount of times I listened to Hala Madrid Y Nada Mas and the amount of pictures, videos, promotional/support videos I saw and watched. I called my friend one last time and I told her that now I am optimistic, that we will win.

My whole emotional state was ruined, however, by Gareth not starting. I dont need to explain the whole February-May Gaz-Zizou situation because I think everyone knows it too well by now and what I fucking felt about it. I have never been so enraged in my entire life. After all he has done, still no place in the starting XI. Though, this is pretty much the only thing that has ever angered me about Zizou. I love that man too much, I dont think there will ever be a coach that will ever come close to him, a coach that I will ever love as much as I loved him, but this whole situation really, really angered me. As I said, not going to get into details, I think that is enough. Though, I tried to only focus on my hardly achieved positivity about the match.

The match started and my emotional state reached its lowest point. I couldnt take it anymore, I felt impossibly sick from being so nervous, I got the most severe migraine ever, my eyes were literally about to pop out ugh again, remembering that gives me chills. Dani got injured, and I got angry again, because he didnt deserve it, the World Cup was literally about to start like God give this man a break!!!

Halftime at 0-0, my optimism grew, believe it or not. I felt like we will have more urgency in the second half and that we will win this.

The second half came, with me just desperately hoping for a goal. Because we were playing so well, we deserved a reward!! And it did come, with Benzemas goal, God I felt so relieved and happy. I have seen people saying that his goal was not good but? You literally take everything that is being offered to you in a Champions League final! He scored, he gave us a goal, we were 1-0 up, and I was literally screaming from joy, I was shaking so much and I was the proudest person alive. God, I love my team. Then, Liverpools equalizer came. I didnt think anything of it. I wouldnt get rid of my optimism. I was looking at my boys and I knew we would win.

And Oh My God, here we fucking go.

Minute 61. Gareth comes on. I was so grateful that he at least got to play 30 minutes, I literally only wanted to see him. At that time, considering everything that was happening, I was already emotionally starting to prepare for his departure to another team. I was watching him in those moments, flashbacks through my mind of all the glorious times I got to see him, all of his goals, everything.

And then…

All of a sudden…

62:58

That moment. The moment in which my soul has definitely left my body. The most beautiful moment I have ever lived in watching football. The moment in which I was the proudest person alive. A moment I will never, ever, ever forget, for as long as I get to live. The moment I have literally seen history being made, right before my eyes. The moment in which I literally evaporated, left the Earth, idk how to explain this but I hope you understand me. My idol, that had suffered so much that season, scored a fucking bicycle kick in a FUCKING UCL FINAL. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. The happiest, most full of joy, best, most emotional moment. Ever. No exaggeration.

My perspective on this? Oh well, brace yourselves. If you think everything that I have written so far seems insane, get ready for this.

I was on my bed, watching the game, shaking. I saw the passes, beautiful passes, that ended up with Marcelo controling the ball (incredibly, as he always does, my Brazilian sunshine). I saw him swaying to the side, and then passing a high, aerial ball in the box. Gareth came up to meet it, with… a scissor kick. That he scored. I literally fucking exploded like there is no other word. I jumped off my fucking bed and I ran literally across the house and came back, making the most inhuman noises ever I swear. I came back to my bedroom and I collapsed on the floor and I literally started fucking bawling my eyes out, and even that seems like an understatement. Screaming at the top of my lungs, bawling my eyes out, literally all of it happening on the floor. My grandmother literally came in and she thought something happened to me, but then I just pointed to the screen and she understood lmao. And from that point onward I cannot say anything anymore, because I dont remember anything else but me on the floor, literally. After like 15 minutes I hardly even managed to get back on the bed, and guess what?

82:41

AGAIN.

???? I dont know what to say anymore. Like he literally toyed with everyone that night, he didnt care about anything. Again, with a pass from Marcelo, he literally goes from FAR FAR FAR away and he shoots and… scores?? How much do you think my poor fragile self can handle? Like, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU SAY TO THAT?? Except for bawling your eyes out even more, if thats even possible? Its been 7 months and I still dont have words for what happened that night, like 2 goals ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? LIKE DO YOU UNDERSTAND I WAS LITERALLY DEAD LIKE ??? I LOST EVERY SINGLE BIT OF MY SANITY THAT NIGHT. 2 goals, 2 goals in 20 minutes, he was about to get a fucking hattrick. A fucking HATTRICK IN HALF AN HOUR, but Karius unfortunately stopped that shot.

The match ended and… I dont remember anything other than barely seeing the screen, I literally had a blurred vision.

We fucking won it. We DID IT. THE DECIMOTERCERA WAS OURS.

In the moment in which Sergio lifted it I… I dont have words, did I go into another Universe, did I ascend, did my soul leave my body I dont even know but what I do know is that I spent the rest of the night, up until like 6AM, crying my heart out. And this is what I mean by ”I have never cried so much in my entire life”. Like I have never spent a whole night crying.

I went to bed at like 6:30, woke up at like.. 10?? I think you can imagine how I woke up, I literally felt like I was going to die but I spent the rest of the day catching up on everything that happened the entire night.

And then, of course, the celebrations, Cibeles, Bernabeu… of course your sensitive girl bawled her eyes out again lol!

Every day ever since it happened, I have always been thinking about this day. About all of it. No point in counting how many times I rewatched the goals lol! But I think you can imagine haha 💘

So yeah, this is pretty much it DSLKFDKJFKDFJKDFK. The story about my best ever day of watching football I made it unecessarily long (Im so sorry). I think the only conclusion that I can get from this is Hala Madrid Y Gareth Y Nada Mas lol! 💘💘

#asks #Anonymous #gareth bale #real madrid

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yeoldontknow · 8 years ago

Text

Did You See?

Author’s Note: lord i am so glad someone requested Jongin fluff so i could make up for the torture that is Mourning Air. this is a gift for @kpopandlock and i hope hope hope i have done this justice. romance comes very hard for me unless theres chapters of tension and build up, so i hope this makes every Nini stan swoon just a tiny bit <3 enjoy loves!

Pairing: Kai x Reader

Summary: every day, you fall a little bit more in love with your best friend, Jongin. everyday, you ache for him. everyday, you miss all the signs of something he’s been trying to tell you.

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3,068

Nini[2:06 AM]: you up?

Y/N[2:08 AM]: yeah why

Nini[2:08 AM]: are you hungry?

Y/N[2:10 AM]: !!! diner run? :)

Nini[2:11 AM]: i have a better idea ;)

Y/N[2:12 AM]: better than 2AM waffles?? D:

Nini[2:13 AM]: promise to keep an open mind

Y/N[2:14 AM]: nini it’s too early...or late idk to be open minded~~

Nini[2:15 AM]: ok then be spontaneous

Y/N[2:16 AM]: what are you suggesting

Nini[2:18 AM]: cheesesteaks

Y/N[2:18 AM]: im not fucking cooking at 2 in the morning, are you high

Nini[2:20 AM]: nooo let’s go GET them i know an amazing food truck in philly

Y/N[2:21 AM]: are you driving?

Nini[2:21 AM]: as long as you DJ

Y/N[2:22 AM]: come pick me up~~ <3

Nini[2:23 AM]: that’s my girl! be there in 10

True to his word, Jongin arrives ten minutes later looking too put together for what you think is just a night drive. He stands in your doorway, bright smile making you feel like you’re ascending dawn, grey hoodie and running pants matching with a casual, attractive air of non-effort. You want to comment on this, tell him he's overdressed and making you tumble into a state of longing, but before you can speak, he leans over to kiss your cheek and whisper in your ear.

‘We’re taking the scenic route.’

This is nothing new for him. He's said these same words to you hundreds of times on different occasions, sometimes even in metaphor, but tonight it feels different. Tonight, his breath hovers over your ear a little too long and it takes all your willpower not to press your cheek to his. You know you're alone in this sentiment, know that these feelings are one sided and must remain this way for the benefit of your friendship. But still, tonight, these words make you want him more.

The highway is empty as you drive, chasing the moon and stars with your headlights. You watch him, studying the way he seems to glow in the night, and think he never really looks as relaxed or as serene as when he's driving. With one hand on the wheel and the other out the window, fingers dancing in the cool night air, his face is placid and happy, eyes bright and filled with hidden laughter as he drives. This is when you really see him, truly see all the vulnerable parts of him, when he's pensive and assumes no one is looking; when he's alone with you.

Mirroring his position, you stick your arm out the window and find yourself falling into the moment, collapsing into it. You've never felt closer to him than right now, driving on the interstate for a spontaneous cheesesteak run. You've never felt more alive than in this moment, as the state Pennsylvania sign passes you by. Beside you trees and trees and trees pass along the river bank, and you're glad he chose this route. You're glad he wanted the extra time with you and no one else, not even other strangers on this secluded road. You're glad that he wants you, even if it's only like this.

Eventually, you fall asleep - not a truly deep sleep, just dozing softly, hand still catching the wind as your head lulls to the side with parted lips.

You are asleep and so you don't see it. You don't see the way he turns to look at you, your skin shimmering as the first glimmers of the sun start to pour over your face. You don't see the way he smiles, admiration of you beginning to eat away at and melt through him. You don't see him reach for your hand as it rests on your thigh with loose fingers, and the way he pauses just over the palm. He ghosts over it, molding his hand above it as though he were miming the hold, before pulling it back to the gear shift. You don't see him clutch at it, holding it and pretending it is your skin.

You don't see him tumbling with you.

Nini[1:33 PM]: you going to jongdae’s thing tonight?

Y/N[1:35 PM]: idk maybe. i have to see if i feel up for it

Nini[1:37 PM]: pllssss!! youre never really up for these things and i need you with me tonight

Y/N[1:40 PM]: why tonight of all nights? lmao youve gone to so many parties without me

Nini[1:41 PM]: because tonight i just don’t want to be without you :)

Y/N[1:42 PM]: this is not a reason

Nini[1:43 PM]: excuse me, it’s the only reason that matters

Y/N[1:44 PM]: you know i get shy at parties

Nini[1:46 PM]: jongdae and i will be there

Y/N[1:48 PM]: and if it were just you two it would be ok - it wouldnt even be a party~~ it's other people nini :/

Nini[1:50 PM]: i’ll be with you the whole night i promise :))

Y/N[1:52 PM]: youre not going to take no for answer are you :c

Nini[1:52 PM]: nope :D

Y/N[1:56 PM]: fine. ill meet you there ugh

Nini[1:58 PM]: thank you duchess! i'll make it up to you! <3

Y/N[1:58 PM]: you better

Jongin finds you the minute you enter the crowded house, his hand seeking yours and threading your fingers together as you push through the door. You know he’s already drunk, though you don’t know how long he’s been here. Like usual, his body is craving contact after only a few drinks of alcohol. Typically, he keeps you close by so he can touch your skin and soothe his bleary ache for affection, never allowing you to wander too far out of reach. Always this is born out of trust, you think. He knows and trusts you enough to take these things from you, expects them to be freely given because the language of your relationship dictates it.

Always, he does this and doesn't see the way hope brims over and leaks from your pores. Always, he doesn't see you swoon.

‘I'm glad you came!’ Jongdae shouts over the music as he hands you a drink. ‘You literally never come to my parties. This is such a nice surprise.’

‘This one persuaded me,’ you concede, tilting your head in Jongin’s direction. He’s distracted, eyes scanning the room with a wide smile offered to everyone but you. Seeing this makes your heart sink a little, knowing that, at some point, even if he doesn't mean to, his promise to you will be broken.

It only takes an hour.

After leading you around the room, squeezing your hand as you talk through your shyness with others and whispering that he's proud of you, he leaves your side at the first notes of his favourite song. For a few minutes, you watch him dance and sing, jumping and moving with an ease that makes you envious. When he laughs, his mouth becomes a glorious circle, head cocking back as though he can't contain the force of his joy. When he sings along, his eyes close in sheer delight at being young and being alive.

You find this all too beautiful and too heartbreaking to look at. It only makes you want him more.

So you turn and go out to the yard, hoisting yourself into the fence rungs to sit and drink, taking small sips of whatever is in your cup so you don’t get drunk. It's quiet here, perfect for thinking and longing and wishing on all the stars you can count.

Your back is to the door, so you don't see it. You don't see the way Jongin searches for you the moment the song ends, biting his lips and furrowing his brow in worry. You don't see the way he smiles, awed and moved by the way you hum to yourself as you stargaze. You don't see him lean against the door, eyes turning up to the same star and filled with hopeful wonder.

You don't see him wish that you were his.

Y/N[6:33 PM]: come over

Nini[6:35 PM]: mmmmm why? movie night?

Y/N[6:36 PM]: if you want. im making your fave tho, so i thought id ask

Nini[6:37 PM]: CHICKEN????

Y/N[6:40 PM]: lmao yes and if youre a good boy ill even let you help me cook

Nini[6:41 PM]: excuse you i am always a good boy

Y/N[6:43 PM]: you abandoned me at the party last weekend. that was very naughty ;(

Nini[6:45 PM]: i told you i was sorry :( and i didnt really abandon you. dont say that :(((

Y/N[6:46 PM]: THAT WAS HOW IT FELT NINIKINS

Nini[6:48 PM]: im so confused like youre upset with me but youre using my nickname and i ?????

Y/N[6:49 PM]: i was upset but im not anymore its ok bb. are you coming?

Nini[6:50 PM]: yeah be there in 15?

Y/N[6:52 PM]: ok. bring wine please

Nini{6:52 PM]: you got it duchess <3

You leave the door unlocked for him, an open invitation to your home, your heart, your life. When he arrives, he’s carrying your favourite red wine and a small chocolate cake he acquired from a bakery along the way.

‘I want to feel like I’m contributing,’ he murmurs with a bashful smile.

‘Aww,’ you coo, taking the cake from him and tapping his cheek. ‘I would have let you cut some broccoli but this is much better.’

He lingers behind you for a while, watching the way you cut and stir and manage time in your kitchen. It bewilders him, a little bit, the science of cooking becoming something of an art beyond his comprehension. This is the one thing you can hold above him, the one skill you have that he doesn’t, and you are too proud to admit that you sometimes use this to be close to him. Tonight is an example, how you decided to make chicken only because he said he would come over. How you decided to even consider it because he would be here and near you and doing exactly this: pressing himself behind you to watch and share your air.

After several minutes he moves away from you, pulling out his phone and scrolling through it with a content, placid expression.

‘Where’s that speaker I got you for your birthday?’

‘In the bathroom by the sink.’

He disappears and comes back seconds later, holding the black rectangle in his hand as he syncs it with his phone.

‘We’re going to listen to some music and you’re going to relax.’

You scoff, flipping chicken in the skillet. ‘I don’t need relaxing.’

‘Yes, you do,’ he says firmly. ‘Even the way you said that was tense.’

Setting the spatula on the counter, you turn to face him with a cocked eyebrow. ‘Now who’s the tense one?’

He doesn’t bother to respond to this. Instead, he hits play and soft soul music starts to play from the speaker. Sighing, you turn back to the stove and attempt to make yourself look busy. This was done on purpose. He knows that soul music feels like it belongs to you in some way, like you’ve claimed it as the sound of your blood.

What he doesn’t know is that the sight of him dancing to Otis Redding will hurt you, hurt you in a way that would make your heart feel as though it were bleeding. He doesn’t know that the sight of his hips swaying to the rhythm would make your breath catch, pausing at the sight to admire and memorize it before continuing with a quickened pace. He doesn’t and cannot know these things, so you keep your back to him in order to protect yourself. Because now, you think, you cannot possibly want him more.

Your back is to him, so you don’t see it. You don’t see the way he approaches you, eyes hungry and arms outstretched to hold you in the them. You don’t see the way he reaches for you, hands coming to rest atop your hips like he’s claiming you the way you’ve claimed the music. When he starts dancing with you, moving your body with his as he presses himself tightly against you, you don’t see the way his lips part to exhale against your hair. You don’t see the way his mouth hovers above your ear for too long, tongue desperate to lick against the lobe. You don’t see the way his eyes roll back in his head as you push against him, lightly, teasingly, and the way his fingers twitch to run themselves beneath the band of your shorts. The way they yearn to sneak beneath the band of your underwear to press, and touch, and stroke.

You don’t see the way he finally, truly, believes he is losing control.

Nini[1:40 AM]: are you up?

Y/N[1:43 AM]: yeah why - MORE CHEESESTEAKS?

Nini[1:44 AM]: can i come over?

Y/N[1:44 AM]: are you ok?

Nini[1:45 AM]: i need to see you

Y/N sent a photo

Y/N[1:46 AM]: see! it’s me!

Nini[1:46 AM]: no. i need you see you. please.

Y/N[1:47 AM]: jongin youre scaring me. whats going on?

Nini[1:48 AM]: please say yes. just say i can see you. i just need you.

Y/N[1:49 AM]: yes babe yes the door is unlocked

Nini[1:50 AM]: on my way

Five years. You’ve known Jongin for five years.

Four years. You’ve loved Jongin for four years.

Never have you seen him look like this. For years you’ve watched him stumble into and out of love with anguish, grace, and pride, and still he’s never looked like this.

He’s in your doorway and he looks like he’s gasping, swallowing whole mouthfuls of the air to catch his breath and to catch your scent. Hair has fallen into his eyes, his wide eyes that look at you as though they’ve reached their limit or found something - they’re fixed on you so completely you’re starting to feel naked beneath the gaze. There’s suffering happening beneath his skin. He’s fraught and fighting with something and you’re scared, you’re scared because you feel he brought the air of change with him and it’s making you vulnerable and uncomfortable.

He rushes into your house but doesn’t sit. His feet carry him in nondescript patterns around your living room, pacing in an almost frantic way.

‘Jongin,’ you whisper loudly, trying not to startle him out of his panic. ‘Jongin, what is going on?’

‘I reach for you,’ he blurts out, turning to look at you as though he’s had an epiphany. ‘I reach for you all the time and you never see it.’

Your brain muddles over these words, toys with them and breaks them apart to try to understand them but comes up empty and confused.

‘You reach for me?’ you ask, breathless though you don’t know why. Something is happening, and your body is in on it first, making you lose faith and trust in the air and yourself.

‘I reach for you,’ he repeats. ‘Something happens in my day, and I reach for my phone to tell you. I crave food at two in the morning, and I reach for you to come with me. I watch you cook, and I want to touch you, so I reach for you but you don’t see me. I am always reaching for you, and I need you to see me.’

The words rush out of his mouth like they’ve been waiting to be released for years, like he’s practiced them hundreds of times and now that he’s finally saying them he can’t wait to get them out.

You’re facing him, and now you see it. You see the way his hands reach out to you as he approaches you, coming to cup your face gently and cradle it as though it were treasure. You see the way his eyes bore into yours, filled with love and lust and longing. You see the way he is breaking, shattering beneath his desire and how his breath is coming too quickly to really keep him alive. You see the way the world is spinning but you both are still in this moment, learning to reach for one another.

‘Do you see?’ he asks, softly with a trembling lip. ‘Do you see why I needed to be here? To hold you?’

You close your eyes and nod.

‘Don’t do that,’ he whispers.

You open your eyes and make to speak, but his thumb softly swipes over your bottom lip and tugs it gently down to luxuriate in its plumpness.

‘Don’t close your eyes,’ he clarifies. ‘ I want you to see.’

Eyes open wide, you watch as he lifts your chin upwards and presses his forehead against yours, taking the moment to breathe together. You watch as he slides just out of view and presses your lips together, your body suddenly warm with the contact and wetness pooling between your thighs. Keeping your eyes open, you let him kiss you, gently and full of purpose with a warm mouth and a soft tongue. Your eyes roll back just slightly as your hands fist in his hair, tongue pressing against his in time with your hips. His hands slide down your back to fist in the hem of your shirt, pulling it up as he moans, loudly and without shame, as his fingers touch your hot skin, and you see.

You see how you both took the scenic route to get here, to this moment. You see how having him in your arms makes the world brighter. You see how kissing him like this makes the world move slower.

You see how badly you need him. You finally see how deeply he loves you.

#kai x reader #kim jongin x reader #kai fluff #kpoptrashtag #kai scenario #exo ff #exo scenarios #exo #exo fanfiction #kim jongin #exo au #kim jongin fanfic #kim jongin fluff #exo fluff

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lotrspnfangirl · 7 years ago

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Gishwhes 2017 - CultofCaffeine

This years Gish was just as much fun as previous years! I think I had the most fun this year being able to gish with my best friends (Alex and @cassondrawinchester) as well as a lot of the girls I did it last year with! We had an excellent team, and I made a few new friends, and we got up to some crazy stuff.

I think the highlight this year was getting to scare the crap out of my dad and despite some questionable 'cult like' behavior, we weren't arrested. So, win on that one! And meeting @pherryt at the Gish get together!!!

Now, the reason you're all actually here... Here is our team's submissions!

#2 There was a hobby or talent that you used to do when you were younger that you stopped doing for whatever reason. Do it again. Now.

#4 As anyone who reads “Cosmopolitan” magazine knows, bohemian eco-chic weddings are all the rage. Let’s see a wedding dress made from recycled office paper.

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#6 Re-enact the experience of your birth, using (only) shadow puppets.

#8 The year is 2021. Of all the unique and amazing human specimens on Earth, it was hard for the aliens to choose which ones to collect, but your team stood out as being excessively weird & worth “analysis". Your entire team was abducted and put into an alien specimen box. In grid form, show each member of your team along with a card explaining where they got you (city, country) and a word stating what special characteristic makes you unique.

#9 I can assure you, THAT has never been frozen in jello before! How did you manage to do that?!

#10 Pizza was invented in Italy in 997 AD to honor the Queen Consort, Queen Margherita. The next significant event in Italian history was the start of the Renaissance Period in the 14th century, which spawned a revival in art, architecture, science and learning. Let’s celebrate these two seminal moments in Italian history. Bake a Pizza decorated as a Renaissance painting that would make the Old Masters proud.

#12 Many of us have lost pets in our lifetime. As a memorial to a loved pet that is now frolicking in the clouds chasing or sniffing whatever it was that pet liked to chase/sniff, write a poem or haiku about that loved one, or create a small shrine in nature comprised of items the pet loved and a photo of him or her.

#13 (Side by side) A child drawing of their idea of happiness. Then, make it happen.

Stormy misses her grandma who lives in Kentucky and what would make her happiest is if she was able to come to visit her!

#14 Over the years gishwhes has always been a supporter of first responders (firemen, paramedics, ER medics, nurses, police, etc.). Let’s give them one last treatment of a proper gishwhes “THANK YOU!” Find your nearest and dearest first responders and bring them The Most Epic Cookies or Pastries the World Has Ever Seen (MECOPWHES).

#15 Groucho Marx a piece of fruit. No, we don’t know what this means either, but we’re excited to see what you come up with.

#17 Spicy Art! Using the spices you have in your spice cupboard, make a picture of your favorite (1) comic book cover, or (2) cartoon character. Either submit it alone, or as a side-by-side image comparison.

#19 (Side-by-side image) A photo of your pet and a photo of the portrait of your pet that you have made from their own food and treats.

#20 This family’s toys get into sweet, crazy escapades at night while the kids are sleeping. Your family’s toys make that family’s toys look like do-gooders. Let’s see what happened with your family’s toys while you slept last night.

#22 We finally have a confirmed sighting of a mythical beast from urban legends (Bigfoot, Nessie, Yeti, etc.) suffering the effects of climate change.

#23 This morning, my daughter, Maison reported having seen a “moon fairy” while I was sleeping last night. As you know, the rarely-seen moon fairies are mischievous, nocturnal creatures who participate in synchronized, representational flight. Using a long exposure and flashlights (or other movable light sources) photograph these elusive beasts.

#24 She wore a raspberry beret… Wear a beret made out of raspberries as you shop in a second-hand store.

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#26 (Create an old-school STOP MOTION film - up to 1 minute.) A Romeo and Juliet story... Two young virile socks (unmatched) meeting, falling in love, being kept apart and finally ending tragically.

#29 It is either winter or summer where you are. (If it is not, please contact our support so we can send NASA to find you.) There’s something you love to do outdoors in the winter or summer where you live. Do the activity you love to do in the opposite season that you are in.

#30 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! NEW LEASH ON LIFE USA adopts otherwise unadoptable dogs and sends them through a unique training program. Shelter pets rarely get any attention and millions are put down each year. Many times this can be avoided if people on the Interwebs (who would like and could responsibly own a pet) were to see how cute, available, lonely and cuddly they are. Let’s save a pet or two (or thousands). Grab a friend or two and visit a shelter. Spend some time with one or more of the pets there. Post a selfie of your favorite pet looking for a “forever home” on Twitter (tagging @NewLeashUSA) or Instagram (tagging @NewLeashOnLifeUSA), using hashtag #adoptmeplease, and the social media handle or name of the shelter (so people can contact them). Submit the image you take on our site, but provide the link to your social media post link in the comment field of the submit page.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BXtiZY5ADuC/

#34 As this is likely the last year of gishwhes we should probably do something to memorialize it. A lot of folks have been saying, “Save gishwhes!” But we say, “Shave “gishwhes”... into the back of your head.” Try to match the amazing logo that Olivia Desianti formed way back when - which we still use today. Bonus points if you include the current or a former gishwhes hybrid mascot in your masterpiece. The same design shaved into a thick matt of back or chest hair would be an acceptable substitute. A little red lipstick makes this pop!

#35 Hand a bouquet of flowers (or a single flower) to a person leaving a house of worship that is not your religion. For example, if you are a Christian, you could hand a bouquet of flowers to someone leaving a mosque. If you’re Jewish, hand flowers to someone at a Christian church, etc. With the flowers, attach a note saying something in your own words, but to the effect of: “I may not worship in the same building as you, and I may not pray to the same prophets, but I am grateful to be sharing this planet with you in peace.”

#36 The dewey decimal system has long been responsible for keeping good books apart— books that clearly deserve to spend a life together on library shelves. For that matter, it seems so many libraries go out of their way to keep perfectly good literary companions apart as they separate fact from fiction, biography from archaeology, science fiction from politics. Be the matchmaker literature needs and get creative at your local library or bookstore. Show the spines of at least six books together in a library or bookstore (the more titles the better) the titles of which create the perfect oxymoronic sentence or phrase. - Monica Duff Teacher says, When you reach me this dark endeavor revealed first lights glow.

#37 No one talks about the fact that the destruction of the Death Star put thousands of Stormtroopers out of work. Luckily the Empire has a pretty robust social safety net and most of them have been retrained and placed in new jobs, the majority of which have been in the transportation sector. Let’s see a stormtrooper driving/flying a large passenger vehicle. Must be for mass transit, not just a car or a van. A subway, train, bus, ferry, plane, etc.

#38 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Pick a celebrity social media image post (or an advertisement) and recreate it with a subtle twist like like Celeste Barber does here. Tweet, Instagram or FB post your image side-by-side with the original image, “#embracereality @gishwhes” and your team name. (You may also tag or mention the celebrity or brand you are satirizing.) Submit the image you take side-by-side with the original one, but provide the link to your social media post in the comment field of the submit page.

https://twitter.com/courie969/status/896455455656075265

#41 Show us your own personal “Stairway to Heaven” -Dylan Cacador

#42 You ever heard of “pond dipping”? “river bugging”? Neither have we - but let’s not let that stop us. Invent and show off your own *SAFE* summer wet, wild and messy activity and caption it with a clever name.

#43 Never judge a book by its cover… or bread by its shape. Bake bread or cookies into the shape of something you would DEFINITELY not want to eat. (We hate to have to say this every year, but pornographic pastries will result in docked points.)

#46 THE FINAL “KALE” ART. (Please note that per Commandment #4 of the 2017 Hunt, this word and material as a Hunt item is not permitted. We are aware of this. That being said, we do not care. You still may not use the word “kale”. Henceforth, it shall be called [REDACTED] BUT you may use it as a material for this item.) Therefore, take a SINGLE glorious piece of [REDACTED] and, using whatever adornments or other decoratives, clipping patterns, etc., create a stunning, museum worthy piece of art that shall then be showcased (and submitted as such) as an ornamental headpiece on you.

#48 As most people know, roosters enjoy a good sunrise. But other farm animals enjoy sunrises and sunsets, too. Let's see a photo of you, some friends or companions (such as your dog), and a sheep, horse, cow, or other non-rooster barnyard animal, watching the sun rise or set together. Bonus points if the spectacular skies are reflected in water in front of you.

#49 There’s something important that your local or national politicians are not attending to properly. Stand in front of something that represents the issue/right/minority group/etc. that you care about and that your politicians are not adequately protecting and hold a large, hand-written sign with a message to the powers that be. Tweet this image to an elected official with the power to do something to help tagged “#gishwhesrights”. Submit the image and a link to your tweet in the comments.

https://twitter.com/casschindler/status/895052460682878976

#51 Anyone who serves in the military is risking their life to serve their nation. Being respectful to not trespass on military grounds, stand in front of a large military craft, ship, tank, or plane with an inclusive sign of thanks to every service member of every kind. You may post this image on social media prior to the end of the hunt, if you choose. Submit the image with a link to your post in the comment section (if you chose to post it). https://twitter.com/casschindler/status/895053091153874945

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#52 (Time-lapse up to 30 seconds.) Paint a dignified portrait of a President, Prime Minister, King, or Queen. But we don’t want you to waste canvas or paper! Paint this on a loved one’s bare back or abdomen. (use skin safe paints or edible “paint-like” food products!) (ignore my side boob...)

#53 Write something in frosting on a cake that you’ve always wanted to say to someone, and deliver it to them.

#54 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Listen to this and be scared: http://www.radiolab.org/story/nukes/. But this bill has been introduced to try to solve this global risk. Let’s get it approved! Tweet ALL of your reps to pass the legislation to make congressional approval for first nuclear strike US law. Submit a screenshot of your post. Provide a link to the tweet in the comment field of the submit page. https://twitter.com/lotrspnfangirl/status/894801114641649665

#56 Sometimes things are just too comfy to leave, but you’re prepared for this! Let’s see you in your “Hammock Self-Containment Unit”. This, of course, would be you in a hammock with everything you need to live for one week, including all life preserving items, sanitation supplies and, of course, entertainment (live or otherwise). Make sure it’s clean, well organized, and designed for easy access to everything.

#62 Honeybees are a “keystone” species just like sharks. If they’re gone, we’re in big trouble. Unfortunately, there are currently “Colony Collapse Disorders” happening with honeybees throughout the world. This is when the majority of worker bees in a colony disappear, leaving the queen and immature bees to fend for themselves (most colonies completely die). This has major global food crop implications, as honeybees perform the magic of pollination of agricultural crops. If bees go by the wayside, we will have to find alternative pollination solutions, and that ain’t gonna be easy. But, let’s roll up our sleeves and give it a shot: Plant something in your garden (or plant a garden if you don’t have one) that is bee friendly (even if it’s just one plant in one pot on a patio). Spring - lilacs, penstemon, lavender, sage, verbena, and wisteria. Summer – Mint, cosmos, squash, tomatoes, pumpkins, sunflowers, oregano, rosemary, poppies, black-eyed Susan, passion flower vine, honeysuckle. Fall – Fuschia, mint, bush sunflower, sage, verbena, toadflax. Take a picture of yourself wearing some sort of bee-attire doing your part to pollinate your newly planted plant.

#66 Personify your favorite movie title. Include a caption on your image of the title of the movie in quotes. - Tanya Best

#67 Banana Hammock. This year’s summer fashion elitists are all wearing the latest rage: Banana Bikini or Banana Briefs. Join them!

#68 You finally have a use for all the naked bananas you now have sitting around! Bake as much banana bread as you can with “gishwhes” spelled out in bananas on the top & distribute it to your local nursing home.

#73 Visit a local laundromat. Place decorated envelopes with enough money (in coins or bills, depending on the machines) for one load of washing and one load of drying on at least one machine with the note: “We swim together, we tumble together. Love, Gishwhes.”

#75 They told me I couldn’t, so I did. Pose in front of a sign declaring a rule. Break that rule. A few notes: It must be safe (what you are doing), and it MUST NOT be a law or illegal where you are. It must only be a “rule”. For example, you might find a sign that says, “collared shirts only.” You would pose in front of that sign wearing a tank top. - Inspired by Emily Shulman

#75 Personify or embody your team name. Caption your image with your team name. - Shannon

#81 Sometimes it feels like your boss expects you to be in more than one place at more than one time, but you’re a gisher so you know how to deliver. Using the panoramic photo function on your phone, insert yourself at least three times in the same picture in different positions and/or wardrobe to show yourself as you “multitask”. You may NOT Photoshop yourself into the image. (Hint: you have to run around the person taking the picture each time they pass you in the frame.)

#82 In honour of Canada's 150th birthday, even though you may not be Canadian, you and a friend should clearly cover yourself in maple syrup and go roll in some maple leaves. - Jessica G.

#83 Lets see your interpretation of fireworks using vegetables and spaghetti as mixed media. - Saty381

#84 (Two Images side-by-side.) The first image is a photo of an illustrated page from a children’s book. The second image is your reenactment of that illustration in 3 dimensions. - Inspired by Sarah Trumbley

#85 Let’s see LABSWHES. The Largest Awesome Balloon Sculpture the World Has Ever Seen. The themes this year are “insect” or “space”—or both. You must be in the middle of this structure.

#86 Everyone thinks unicorns are beautiful, magical, gentle creatures. You know better. Prove it to the world! You may use any media you like, including Photoshop. - Traci Akierman (( this is everything to me ))

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#89 Apply lipstick while jumping on a trampoline. - Emily Schulman

#91 Leave a Yelp review of gishwhes after you deliver food to the homeless or to a homeless shelter.

#101 As I'm sure you’ve seen, over the years we have marketed gishwhes relentlessly and shamelessly (because we really want everyone to do it). This is the last gishwhes, so now it’s your turn to go ahead and show us how we should’ve marketed it. Create a gishwhes ad that no one would be able to resist. Note: you may make false or misleading claims if you so choose, but because we’re curious, you could even take a stab at a legit one.

#102 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! During the First Annual and Last Ever 2017 gishwhes Tea Party, we identified gishers based on their right-brush or left-brush toothbrushing statuses. Conduct a massive poll on your social networks for the gishwhes Institute of Vital Statistics to prove conclusively whether people brush their teeth starting on the same side of their mouth as their dominant hand or the opposite side. Because this is solid science, your sample size must have a minimum of 400 respondents. Submit a visually-compelling graph of your poll data and the number of votes and the winner. Use the hashtag #gishwhesteeth. Submit a screenshot of your post. Provide the link to your social media post in the comment field of the submit page. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSflbQIfXAgyMfW0lpqMRT9UdReh7v1T2Iec-RYyLg-WK68LzQ/viewform

#105 We know a little girl that makes a different kind of Advent Calendar. As she marks off each day on the calendar, she gives something away. Make your own version of a reverse Advent calendar. On the first day of gishwhes, create a decorated Advent calendar whereby, for each day on the calendar, you depict something you’re going to give away. Then, each day of the Hunt, take a picture of you fulfilling your calendar item. Submit 7 pictures in a grid (or a video slideshow) showing what you’ve done. Then, continue on through the calendar period. (Yes, this will continue after the Hunt is over, but though gishwhes as we know it may be ending, its spirit will live on in you!) -Keegan Connor Tracy’s 10-year old daughter

youtube

#109 (Up to 22 seconds.) Wonder Woman being “Superman-splained” to.

#119 Trump l’oeil. (This is not a typo.)

#123 As all gishers know, Saturday, August 12 is “Meet Another Gisher Day.” Meet up in front of the largest art museum in your town at 10:00 AM (of whatever timezone you’re in). It’s a pot-luck coleslaw brunch this year, so bring your favorite family recipe of coleslaw… and as much sidewalk chalk as you can. After brunch, decorate the pavement with a collaborative message to the world. In order for a meet-up to count you need to have representatives of at least 5 teams present, so this will require some organizing. Gishwhes is all about coming together, so teams may collaborate (gasp!) on this one, but your team’s image or video must still be all your own.

#124 Be someone’s “rock” to get them through the hard times. Hand-paint small rocks with a message of kindness & leave them in areas that need a pick-me-up. (On the underside, please write “Pass it on.”) You must paint & hide at least one rock for each member of your team.

https://youtu.be/LmptxuKay6o

((it wont let me add more videos)) #125 (Time-lapse under 20 seconds.) All good things must come to an end, and so it is with the Hunt. Create a “sand” mandala featuring images that symbolize the hunt to you… all using pixie sticks as your chakpur and sand. When it’s done, show us your masterwork and then, just like the Buddhist monks, sweep it away and get ready for what’s next.

#130 A tactometer used to measure tact.

#131 Make a collage that features things only locals from your town would know about. Display it prominently in a public space in your town.

https://youtu.be/Qt_zCMi71M4

#134 My wife is so trend-forward, she recently took a “goat yoga class” (it’s real; you can google it.) Without hurting, upsetting, or endangering ANY animal, show us the next trend in animal-infused yoga that she should get on board with.

https://youtu.be/N3BF22b1ghs

#135 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! (Up to 30 seconds.) Freeze frame on a picture of you (like they do at the end of movies) and then roll a credit sequence for your own life. Include a "here’s what happens to you in the future" sentence or two and then a listing of the people that have helped you get where you are now or where you are going and what their “titles” are. Post this on the social media channel of your choice with the hashtags #gishwhes #mylife. Submit the video, and in the comment field provide the link to the post.

#143 Sure, most Stormtroopers toed the line, but back in the 1960s there were a few draft-dodging peacenik Stormtroopers. Find a famous vintage photo of a peace sit-in or Woodstock-level love-in and flawlessly photoshop in one or more Stormtroopers. We must think it’s the real thing. As an alternative, you can stage your own “peace” picture and submit an “aged” stormtrooper sit-in image. YES, YOU MAY PHOTOSHOP THIS ITEM!

#152 Decorate the exterior of your home like the Pan House, using whatever object speaks to you.

#157 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! NASA is soliciting tweets to send to Voyager 1. Tweet your suggestion with #gishwhes. I suggest it be the following theme: Voyager 1 ran to the store and you are texting to remind it to pick something up at the store. But we will permit messages of any type so let your imaginations run wild. Submit a screenshot of your post. Provide a link to the tweet in the comment field of the submit page.

#158 Thanks to “reactions” we can now communicate our feelings more clearly to one another! But Facebook limits us to just 6 reactions and we at gishwhes HQ believe that this limitation constraints our ability to express nuanced emotions to one another. Let’s see an updated version of the Facebook “reactions” with feelings like “silently judging you”, “reacting positively to your face but planning to gossip about this later”, and “I’m just not sure how to feel about this” and other more subtle emotions. You may photoshop this item.

#164 Get a bonafide zillow listing for property on Mars.

#165 https://twitter.com/zenxv/status/845474882607632384

https://youtu.be/3rXlzYEtP4k

#167 (Time-lapse up to 20 seconds.) There are two things that science has proven unequivocally: 1) global warming is happening and 2) sucking the melting ice cream from a tiny hole in the bottom of a sugar cone is the greatest possible pleasure in life. (Minimum 5 rounded scoops on top and you must suck all the ice cream through the tiny hole.)

#169 Write "Ass butt" (in non-toxic kids finger paint or chalk!) on the hindquarters of an Ass. (This should go without saying, but be careful & safe. Approach from the side, never stand directly behind it, and try to keep the donkey happy so you don't get injured.)

#172 Now that this may be the last gishwhes-as-we-know-it ever, it’s time to reflect on missed opportunities. Let’s see the Item List Misha SHOULD have made all these years. Give us your team’s ideal gishwhes Item List with a minimum of 10 Items. If the majority of the items you create look like no thought was put into them (and you were just quickly writing down items to get the points), you will receive zero points.

#173 Complete one of the more challenging items on your team’s homemade gishwhes Item List.

https://youtu.be/mH2Hghjq6uc

#179 (Up to 45 seconds edited.) Share an audio dream diary of your first thoughts as you wake up every morning of the Hunt (so you cannot submit this until the last day of the Hunt!). It must be the first thing you do before you get out of bed.

#181 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Let’s see a (SFW) 2,000 word essay published on twitter in 140 character bursts. (no attachments, etc.) about the best way to get pregnant for the 10th time. (I’m sorry, but I promised someone this would be an item.) Submit an image of the first post and then a link to this post in the COMMENT field of the submit page so we can check to make sure you “published” the whole thing.

https://twitter.com/lotrspnfangirl/status/896606741143724033

#182 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Seamlessly modify using photoshop (or other digital altering software), a well-know oil painting by adding in an anachronistic element. For example, if it were a Monet, you might put one of the ladies under a parasol holding an ipad. YES, YOU MAY DIGITALLY ALTER THE IMAGE YOU ARE SUBMITTING… with a catch. The anachronistic element must be rendered seamlessly into the image in the style of the original painter or creator. It must look like a part of the original composition; we should not be able to tell it was added in later. Post the image on FB and/or Pinterest. Submit the image you take on our site, but provide the link to your social media post in the comment field of the submit page. #gishwhesModernMasterpiece

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/490892428124114391/

#183 You are all soon going to be a part of a sinister plot to take over the world… in a unique way. But we need your help. Here’s the first thing you have to do: Decide what your favorite point of interest, historical site or national landmark is in your town or city and enter its address here: http://qrickit.com/qrickit_apps/qrickit_qrcode_creator_geo.php . Below the map on that webpage you’ll see an “optional text” field. Enter “Taken by CFG”. Then click “Qcreate” at the bottom. Download the QR code and submit it as your item. Stay tuned for what comes next...

#186 One of the biggest problems astronauts will face when they travel to Mars will be figuring out how to bring enough food for the three year journey. Porcupanda has offered the idea of making their spacecraft out of food. Show them how. Build an edible spacecraft using anything except “space ice cream” (Per our resident Director of Intergalactic Space Exploration, that stuff tastes like strawberry Styrofoam: “Bleecht!” as he so eloquently put it.)

#187 Every year, the scientists at the NASA Jet Propulsion Lab make spectacular pumpkin carvings that put our humble Halloween jack-o-lanterns to shame (see https://www.wired.com/2016/10/watch-nasas-high-tech-pumpkins-action/). Whatever. What’s a rocket scientist got that you don’t have? Let’s see you out-do them! Show us your best and most outlandish WATERMELON-O-LANTERN carving. - Dave Lavery

#188 For many years, military aircraft sported spectacular “nose art”— artistic homages to people, places, and ideas important to the aircraft crew. As aesthetically appealing as aircraft nose art may have been, we think they botched it on the choice of canvas. Show us your best nose art - but this time, get it right! All art must be on, around, or incorporate, your nose.

https://youtu.be/N82SzhOV24k

#189 The World’s Worst Lawyer.

https://youtu.be/UwJtIh80M7I

#192 (Time lapse up to 25 seconds). In our busy world, people sometimes forget to slow down and see the beauty around them. Perform a task at work extremely slowly while everyone around you carries on at normal speed. When this is played back in in time lapse, you’re performing at normal speed and it’s the world around you that’s going too fast.

#196 THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! THIS IS A TOP SECRET ITEM! DO NOT SHARE ITS CONTENT ON SOCIAL MEDIA UNTIL DIRECTED OR YOU WILL RUIN THE SURPRISE AND BE DELUGED WITH BAD KARMA. By now, most of you may know our friend Giles Duley. If not, watch the video at the top of this page. Then, watch here to see what he did with us recently: https://youtu.be/-tOt9LfZF9w ...and he’s doing something amazing with us again with us this year (which we’ll be announcing VERY soon). Giles inspires us and we want to thank him for all of his hard (and often thankless) work. So, we’re going to thank him... BUT WE’RE GOING TO SURPRISE HIM! SO PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT POST ABOUT THIS UNTIL THE DESIGNATED TIME: On Friday, August 11th, at EXACTLY 9am PDT, we are going to give him a “thunderclap” of thanks on the Internet. Because Giles thinks EVERYONE can make a difference no matter their circumstances (and he’s a living embodiment of that), we’re going to prove it. Here’s your job: before the 11th, go out and do an act of kindness. But not just any act of kindness... Giles works hard to help refugee families and landmine victims, so your act of kindness should focus on expanding his work exponentially through the power of gishwhes and gishers. Do something that makes a meaningful, material difference in the life of either a refugee or someone who has been directly impacted by war. If you’re at a loss of how to do this, here are some suggestions: bring a care package to new refugees in your neighborhood, go to a refugee center and volunteer, bring a warm meal to a homeless veteran on the streets, volunteer at a soup kitchen where you know there are war veterans, make a donation to an organization that helps with reconstructive surgery and prosthetics for war victims, or sponsor a child made homeless by the war with a one-time or recurring donation. If you can’t manage to find or coordinate any of the above (but please try!), simply carry out a random act of kindness for another human being on the planet who could legitimately use some kindness. Dig deep on this one, guys. The goal is to cause a ripple effect from the work Giles is doing and expand it worldwide. Let's do this. Capture an image or video of this act. At 9am PDT on Friday, August 11th, post the image or video on Facebook with a detailed description of what you did and crosspost to Twitter. Be sure to mention Giles in the post. (For Facebook, tag @GilesDuleyPhotography and on Twitter, tag @gilesduley with #thanksGiles as the hashtag.) Submit the image or video you take on our site, but provide the link to your social media post link in the comment field of the submit page.

#202 A gisher wrote me recently stating, “I started gishwhes in 2015 myself and my children all joined in and had the best week of our lives, so much fun, so much love, so much laughter. In December 2015 I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer… But I didn't let it beat me. We signed up for gishwhes 2016 and made beautiful art together and performed many acts of kindness to those around us and in need, my children now 10 & 8 have those lessons in their hearts now, to spread kindness and love to all around them! Unfortunately I am too sick to participate this year, but hope to still be here to see all the wonderful creations everyone makes, and if I'm not still here when gishwhes starts I will be watching down on you all, cheering everyone on.” Obviously, I cried when I read that. We emailed her back, but haven’t heard back… So this one's for you, S. (and your kids), with love from me & everyone in the gishwhes family: Find a local hospital or cancer center and coordinate with them to deliver a comfort bag(s) to a patient. Fill a cheerfully decorated canvas or cloth bag with items to provide palliative relief and comfort to a cancer patient: soft eye masks, scarves, a soft blanket, socks, ginger tea or candy, unscented natural lip balm, sudoku or coloring books, puzzles, poems, etc. Include a note of support or encouragement if you wish. (Please don't say "get well soon.” Phrasing like, "we're sending you our love" is better.) Please do not take a picture with the recipient... Just the bag. We trust you to deliver.

#204 Escape Gishwhes! https://www.gishwhes.com/escape-room/. If you manage to break out of this wild ride of mystery and mayhem, you’ll be prompted to enter your Team Name to document your success via an online form. BEFORE YOU HIT THE SUBMIT BUTTON, take a screenshot showing your team name in the Text Input Field and save the image, THEN hit the SUBMIT button. Your submission will be uploading the screenshot on our item list (backed up by what the online form sends gishbot).

#206 We got this letter to our support gnomes:Name: [REDACTED]Message : Hello Gishpeople. I want to question why there are so many specific-locations-that-aren't-Sweden only items, and no Sweden only items. I speak for all Swedes when we say that we find this very saddening. We don't understand how you could miss out on an opportunity like this, since Sweden is a very beautiful country, containting great things such as Dalahästar.We, as a nation, expect a formal apology for this, of course.All our love, and some sad wonders,[REDACTED]Sweden, you're absolutely right! You are a beautiful country and it's time we stopped overlooking you. You deserve a formal apology as requested and so in the interest of international diplomacy, it's our duty to deliver and rectify this egregious oversight. With that in mind, (I hope you'll forgive me but this is a location-specific image to appease Sweden, guys): Take a picture of yourself in front of the biggest landmark or point of interest in your town while holding a beautiful hand-lettered sign that reads, "We Are Sorry, Sweden". This is a location-based item, so you may do this anywhere in the world... except Sweden.

@cassondrawinchester

#gishwhes #gishwhes2017 #cultofcaffeine #pic spam #friends #so much fun #love #supernatural

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roadswim-collective · 8 years ago

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THE MANY WORLDS OF JOANNA MILKWEED- FOREWORD

by Daniel Brogan

Joanna Milkweed, sculptor, producer, co-creator of Dan the Can Man, died last year at the age of 104 at her home near Wenvoe, surrounded to the end by a faint air of mystery.

A photograph from her last public appearance, at the BAFTA children’s awards ceremony, in London, in the year 1998, shows Joanna sitting at an angle to her colleagues.

At the Grosvenor, over a landscape of napkins and wine bottles in silhouette, Milkweed’s husband, the producer Bill Kenzie, along with animator Clayton Morgan, looks toward the lit stage. Around the shadowy table, lesser colleagues incline the same way. Their smiles are fixed, they look anxious, expectant.

Joanna is looking elsewhere. Her chair is turned so that she is at a right angle to the stage, to the spotlight, to the hallowed space where the announcements and the speeches are made. One hand hangs limp between her knees, the other holds a champagne flute. Her gaze is unreadable. There is a darkness either in or around her eyes that reminds one of cigarette burns.

Born in the Rhondda Valley in 1961 and educated at Saint Martins College, Joanna Milkweed was always looking elsewhere. In all but the most posed of shots, her eyes consistently fail to meet the camera. In this picture, taken in August 1998, the tendency reaches its geometrical conclusion. She is at 90 degrees to the ceremony.

Minutes after the shot was snapped Joanna and her colleagues won their second award of the night. Dan the Can Manhad already won best animation, Bill accepting the trophy from the writer Michael Rosen, and now Zum4 Entertainment – formed by Joanna, Bill, and Clayton – was about to be named Best New Independent Production Company.

Less than a year later Milkweed divorced Kenzie and went on to sell him all the rights to their creation, the perennially popular delivery man Dan, his yellow truck, and his whole motorway corridor world.

Milkweed never made another programme. Her withdrawal from public life was abrupt and total. She went away and never came back.

Joanna had been active in film and television design for 20 years at this point. From the start, she was determined to work in animation and soon made her name. Her gift as an artist appeared to combine two different elements, the intricacy and detailed beauty of her model work on the one hand, on the other a certain looseness or wildness of the imagination. Milkweed’s best work contained equal parts of each tendency, working together, eccentric visions sculpted into perfect scale models.

Joanna Milkweed designed and built a glorious variety of miniature worlds for dozens of different projects through the 80s and into the 90s. A lot of her work was done in fantasy and sci fi settings – a library in a university on an icy moon of Saturn, the interior of a smashed up block of flats in a post-apocalyptic city, a war torn village in the Dark Ages. Her eye for detail brought all these strange scenes and more to vivid life.

Milkweed also worked in children’s television, creating memorable sets for popular series like Mr Tweedyman,Samson and Gwynn, and The Shimmers.

“Joanna always brought something extra,” recalls Miles Brierley, who hired Milkweed to work on his long-runningAquarius 3000 series (1986 – 1993) and again on the one-off special Tarvin’s Future (1994).

“No matter what the project was, you knew that if you got Joanna Milkweed in you were going to get something really very special.

“Joanna’s stuff was just so imaginative, and so beautiful, she actually took what we were doing to another level. Certainly in the early days of Aquarius, before we’d found our voice, Joanna’s models were the best reason to watch the damn show!”

In 1995, while pregnant with her first child, Joanna conceived the initial spark that led to the creation of Dan, the vending machine resupply driver whose adventures still entertain children to this day.

Ex-husband Bill Kenzie, though often derided, has written movingly about this moment in his posthumously published memoir Just the Delivery Man:

“Joanna was suddenly hungry, after feeling sick all day, so now I tried to tempt her with different food possibilities. It’s quite difficult to predict what will tempt the appetite of a pregnant woman. I offered soups and salads, biscuits and chocolate, various sundries from the back of the cupboard. All in vain.

“Finally, in desperation rather than in hope, I blurted the word: McDonald’s? And Joanna rewarded me with an ironic grin, as was her way. I went to hunt for the car keys.

“We were still living in Newport at this point, much to our distress. The new house in Roath was ready for us to move into, had been since May. We’d hoped to be in and settled well before now, with Joanna’s bump so big and round. Moving house is stressful, as is having a baby. Trying to do the two at the same time though? An absolute hellscape. Which may seem an overstatement but to those who have never had to try it, I’d simply say – try it!

“Being pregnant brought out the anxious, worrying side of Joanna. It didn’t help that it was such a difficult pregnancy. I remember thinking, well, thanks a lot Mother Nature. Thanks for making this a lot more difficult than it strictly had to be. And of course it was Joanna who bore the brunt. I felt so sorry for her, we had so many ups and downs. My own temperament is much calmer, more simply optimistic.

“If you ask most of my friends and colleagues to describe me in a few brief words, you’d probably find a lot of variations on Laid back, including So laid back it’s a wonder he doesn’t fall flat on his back. It’s true, I’m naturally relaxed almost to a fault. People start to find it annoying, my lack of urgency. I know Joanna found it annoying. I guess we were at different poles emotionally, as in so much else.

“I suppose I felt at some level that my influence would help her chill out a little. Looking back, it seemed to have the opposite effect, giving Joanna a target for her fears, her irritation, and her many frustrations. I don’t think either of us was very easy to live with, we were still young and were both quite extreme personalities at that point. But different extremes, Joanna and I – opposite poles. We had our moments though, which I’ll never forget, and would never want to forget. They made us who we are.

“While eating her Quarterpounder Meal in the car, her first solid food since the bout of uncontrollable vomiting on Wednesday afternoon, we looked across the car park at the panorama beyond, the M4 motorway snaking its way through Newport, heading west through a pink sky to the sunset. And I remember, will never forget, Joanna putting my hand on her bump to feel our child moving in there, nearly ready to meet us, and listening at the same time as she told me about this idea she’d had, it had just come to her now, the first stirrings.

“It was an idea for a show, a show of her very own. About all this – and she pointed with her Coke cup at the world outside our car. Joanna’s words, as I felt the baby kick, I’ll never forget, all those lights just coming on, all starting to shine, all those tiny lives. Her own eyes were shining, and I told her so. That was the moment Dan the Can Man was conceived. Three weeks later our beautiful baby Dylan was born.

“As I say, we had our moments.”

Joanna had never originated a show, had always worked for hire on other people’s projects. Now she worked with Bill and their university friend Clayton to create a pilot episode, on the strength of which the BBC commissioned a series of six 10-minute episodes, aimed at a 4-8 age group. The first series aired in March 1996 and was an immediate hit.

Parents began calling the BBC to ask if there were plans to release Dan the Can Man on video or DVD. Something about Joanna’s creation – and it was Joanna’s really, before it was anyone else’s – made it hugely popular right from the off, and well beyond its intended age group.

A hastily commissioned second series, of 12-episodes, was an even bigger hit. The series, like Teletubbies and Rastamouse before it, seemed designed to tempt cultural commentators. There were countless columns and thinkpieces in the broadsheets, while the tabloids kept up the hunt for innuendo well beyond the point of reason.

It was assumed that Dan the Can Man, despite the good-natured simplicity of the stories themselves, said something…or represented something…perhaps reflected something. No-one seemed quite sure but trying to define it – that was the thing that kept the columnists and the panellists going.

A piece in The Guardian called it the first post-Fordist kids’ show. The Times called it Trumpton on a zero hours contract. A writer for the Daily Mail bemoaned the show’s strenuous attempts to tick every last diversity box. Art critic Brian Sewell called it a drearily faithful depiction of our current atomisation and malaise, while on the same Radio 4 panel show, comedian and activist Mark Thomas asserted that it’s like Brecht or something – and we’re all Dan the Can Man now.

Joanna Milkweed, quoted in 1997: “Ultimately it’s about a little man called Dan who goes round filling up vending machines with soft drinks, and all his little adventures on the way.”

Licensing deals were signed. There was merchandise, the figures first, then the bedsheets and backpacks. Zum4 Entertainment was formed. Money began to flow. At the centre of the whirlwind stood the central trio, Jo and Bill and Clay. They each had an area of expertise: Joanna made the sets, the models and the puppets, Clay animated them, and Bill sold the finished product.

They were a team, a family. They had trust and they respected each other. Then Joanna walked away. She left behind her company, her lucrative creation, her career in TV, her life in London, and her husband. She was 41.

The two children, Dylan and Hazel, Joanna kept with her.

Milkweed bought a house near Cardiff and they lived there together, just the three of them, until the children grew up and left home. Joanna never remarried, never – as far as we can tell – embarked on another romantic relationship.

Bill Kenzie remarried twice, was divorced twice, and died at the age of 66, having turned Zum4 into an internationally successful company, while paragliding in Crete.

After Milkweed’s return to Wales in 1999 all invitations to collaborate on projects were refused, offers of work were ignored. Old acquaintances and friendships were left behind, until no-one seemed to have any idea what had become of her.

Miles Brierley regards the loss of Joanna’s gifts to the world of film and TV as “a bloody tragedy.

“I would have loved to work with Joanna again, she was quite, quite unique. I did pester her for some years with projects, inviting her to come to the studios to look at what we were doing.

“At first she just replied with polite refusals but after about three years of me periodically pestering her with offers of work, she began replying in the form of these funny postcards she’d made herself, some cryptic picture on the front. Usually stuff like derelict phone boxes with weeds growing through the little windows. Old pubs rotting away.

“Once there was a broken television set, old tube style, smashed screen, in the middle of a messy bit of muddy wood somewhere.

“I thought, yes, well, okay. I get the picture. It’s a no, isn’t it?”

For the next 63 years, until her death last year and the opening of her house to the public earlier this year, Joanna succeeded in staying beneath the margin of the world’s notice.

The one exception to Milkweed’s absence from the public stage occurred in the year 2000, when papers carried the report of a 42 year old woman arrested for breaking and entering a storage unit in Stroud. Joanna Milkweed admitted robbing the unit repeatedly over two months, emptying it of almost all its contents before a dog-walker spotted her and called the police.

Milkweed told officers that everything she had taken – which comprised all the sets, vehicles, clothes, and puppets she’d ever made for Dan the Can Man – belonged to her. The owners of the unit, Zum4 Entertainment Worldwide, declined to press charges and Joanna kept the models. They were obsolete anyway, production of the show having moved from stop motion animation to 3D computer design, in order to keep up with international demand. Bill Kenzie told a reporter, “All she had to do was ask.”

All this is a matter of public record. These are the bare facts in the case of Joanna Milkweed, as they would appear to any casual researcher. The questions they raise are many. The most obvious are: Why did Milkweed abandon her success, her creation, and her marriage in 1999?Was it for the same or at least a related set of reasons? Why did she turn her back so completely on her profession and the friends she’d made? How or why did a previously prolific artist with an astonishing work rate subdue her creative energy for the rest of her life?What did she do with her imagination, with her her hands, for the latter 63 years of her life?

In brief, whatever happened to Joanna Milkweed?

These questions are not easily answered. A woman addicted to privacy makes a difficult subject for a biographer, and I can’t pretend to be suited for such a tricky task. My role is that of an editor, or perhaps an assembler would be more accurate. What I have assembled are simply fragments of Joanna. The writer who eventually takes on the challenge of the supremely elusive Milkweed has my respect and my sympathy. I look forward to reading the finished product.

This book aims to answer just one question: what did Joanna do with all the models she stole from the lock up?

#roadswimcollective #effluent lagoon #the many worlds of joanna milkweed #foreword #daniel brogan #bill kenzie #clayton morgan #the guardian #brian sewell #dan the can man #zum4 entertainment #miles brierley #children's television #BAFTA #teletubbes #http://roadswim-collective.tumblr.com/

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tyrantisterror · 6 years ago

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REVENGE OF THE A.T.O.M. CREATE A KAIJU CONTEST!

Eons ago, when the earth was young, I held the first A.T.O.M. Create a Kaiju Contest, and creators like YOU populated my activity page with a legion of giant monsters! Now, years later, in celebration of publishing the first volume of The Atomic Time of Monsters, the contest calls to us once again, and it’s only grown bigger and spikier with age. If you wish to once more ravage the world with atomic titans of your own design, then please, read on after the cut to discover the rules of this thrilling kaiju role call!

Ok, for clarity’s sake I’ll drop the goofy melodramatic tone.

THE RULES:

1. This time around, you are limited to one entry per person. Last time we produced 60+ kaiju, which was awesome, but this time around I want to narrow the scope a little bit - especially if I end up doing something crazy and end up drawing them all like last time, since my carpal tunnel syndrome afflicted hand just can’t do what it did those years ago. Work hard and make your entry count!

2. Your kaiju must have some sort of description of its physical appearance and its personality - you can submit a drawing or a written description (or both!) for the physical appearance depending on what you’re most comfortable with. Using the ATOM kaiju file template isn’t required, but it was cool when people did it in the last contest, so feel free to do so this time too!

3. The kaiju you create must specifically be created for this contest - no repurposing characters you made for other, wildly different stories.

4. The kaiju must fit the setting and aesthetics of ATOM. I’ll explain this in more detail down below.

5. The kaiju should add something meaningful to the world of ATOM. What would be the point of having another fire-breathing t.rex monster? The more unique and interesting your kaiju is, the more likely you will win the contest.

6. The kaiju must be independent of the main plot of ATOM - not “Tyrantis’s long lost evil brother who’s the strongest kaiju in the world.” These should be to Tyrantis’s story what War of the Gargantuas is to Godzilla’s movies – heroes (well, monsters) of another story in the same world.

THE REWARDS:

I will make pencil sketches of the top 5 entries in the contest.

I will then make fully rendered illustrations (lineart, colors, & shading) of the top three entries.

THE DEADLINE: All entries must be submitted by August 9th, 2019. You can submit it here on tumblr, via the horror flora e-mail, or any other channel you know how to reach me through. I’m in a lot of places.

THE GUIDELINES (TO HELP YOUR ENTRY FIT THE RULES AND WIN)

The smartest thing you could do if you want to win this contest is familiarize yourself with the world of ATOM by, y’know, reading all the material I’ve published on the subject. In addition to the many kaiju files that are free to read on horrorflora.com, the first actual, factual novel in the series was published very recently (and, y’know, is the reason I’m holding this contest), which you can get from amazon in both paperback and/or kindle editions (I’d recommend the former over the latter since I lack the technology to make a really nice ebook, but if money is an object, the kindle version is only $1).

Kaiju/giant monsters in ATOM work under very specific rules. There’s a full description of those rules at this link, but here’s the jist:

Most ATOM Kaiju are tooth and claw fighters - ranged weapons are a rarity in this setting.

While the terrestrial monsters in ATOM look strange, they are intended to fit within the taxonomy of animals in reality - reptiles, mammals, fish, arthropods, molluscs, etc.

Kaiju appear on every continent in ATOM, but certain areas tend to be dominated by different types.

North America is mainly besieged by retrosaur kaiju and giant arthropods.

Russia is beset by prehistoric monsters that seem to come from the Cenozoic, particularly the Ice Age.

Western Europe is plagued by creatures that vaguely resemble creatures from myth, if they were also prehistoric. Dragon-y lizards, fiery birds, etc.

Venusians:

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/03/atom-kaiju-file-29-karamtor/

Martians:

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-39-kemlasulla/

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-40-podritak/

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-41-sombarvot/

https://horrorflora.com/2017/01/17/atom-kaiju-file-38-ullawdra/

Giant robots exist in ATOM, but are big, bulky, and incredibly expensive. Fancy beam weapons also exist, but are similarly clunky - there are no sleek, elegant machines in ATOM.

ATOM is a setting for stories that are focused on humanity learning to co-exist with monsters, rather than humanity destroying them. A certain level of sympathy is put into almost every creature of its canon, even the ones that are meant to be villains.

REFERENCE MATERIAL

Here is a playlist of 1950′s monster movie trailers.

Here is some reference material from various monster comics of the 50′s and 60′s.

Video of retrosaurs in action.

Finally, here’s the page for the original ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest, which has even more reference material for you to peruse.

#Revenge of the ATOM Kaiju Contest #The Atomic Time of Monsters #kaiju

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woodworkinghere1 · 5 years ago

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Does Fasted Cardio Maximize Fats Loss?

Breaking News Today -

By Brad Schoenfeld, Ph.D., CSCS, FNSCA

Some of the well-liked methods for accelerating fats loss is to carry out cardio train after an in a single day quick. The technique, first popularized by Invoice Phillips in his best-seller Physique for Life, relies on acute analysis displaying that low glycogen ranges trigger your physique to shift substrate utilization away from carbs, thereby permitting better mobilization of saved fats for power.

Certainly, some research have proven that consumption of carbohydrate previous to participating in cardio train reduces entry of long-chain fatty acids into the mitochondria, thus inhibiting fats oxidation.1,6,9,5 Right here’s the kicker, although: outcomes are particular to low-intensity cardio. Whereas fats breakdown is accelerated throughout fasted high-intensity cardio, the quantity of accessible fatty acids exceeds the physique’s skill to make use of them for gasoline.3,7 Therefore, the frequent observe of performing HIIT whereas fasted is definitely counterproductive from a fat-burning standpoint.

Whereas acute analysis would appear to counsel a possible profit to performing fasted cardio— no less than at decrease intensities— there’s one not-so-little drawback when trying to extrapolate outcomes into observe: particularly, the quantity of fats burned throughout train doesn’t essentially mirror precise fats loss. Perceive that the human physique regularly adjusts its use of substrate in accordance with a large number of things that may change from second to second.14

Take-home level: Fats burning should be evaluated over the course of days— not on an hourly foundation— to really perceive its impact on physique composition.5

The Examine

Lately, my lab sought to find out whether or not fasted cardio truly promoted variations in fats loss over time. Twenty recreationally educated college-aged ladies had been randomly assigned to both a fasted coaching (FASTED) group that carried out train after an in a single day quick or a non-fasted coaching (FED) group that consumed a meal previous to train. On coaching days, the morning meals had been consumed within the type of a shake that offered 40 grams of carbs and 20 grams of protein. These meals had been ingested below the supervision of the analysis workforce to make sure that topics adhered to both the FASTED or FED circumstances.

The coaching protocol consisted of one-hour periods of supervised steady-state treadmill train carried out at 70 p.c of maximal coronary heart charge— an depth that equated to a quick stroll/jog. The low-intensity nature of the protocol ensured that any fat-burning benefits related to fasted cardio would translate into better enhancements in physique composition. Coaching was carried out three days per week for 4 weeks.

To assist management meals consumption and thus optimize fats loss, topics got custom-made meal plans designed to create a 500-calorie deficit. The meal plans offered a stability of carbs (~45%), protein (~30%) and fat (25%), and allowed ample skill for the themes to decide on their most popular meals. Topics recorded their every day meals consumption in an internet journal for continuous monitoring of dietary consumption. Dietary counseling was offered all through the examine interval to boost dietary adherence.

The outcomes had been considerably stunning: Though each teams misplaced a major quantity of weight and physique fats, no variations had been famous between circumstances in any physique composition measure. Adherence to this system was glorious, with common attendance equating to greater than 95 p.c of whole periods.

The Thermic Impact of Train, and Fats Shops

The discrepancies between acute and long-term findings will be defined by the truth that consuming a meal earlier than train will increase a phenomenon termed the thermic impact of train (TEE). The affect of performing cardio within the fed state on TEE was demonstrated in a crossover examine by Paoli et al,12 the place topics participated in two separate remedy circumstances: On one event the themes carried out a bout of moderate-intensity cardio after consuming; within the different they carried out the identical train protocol after an in a single day quick. Meals had been individually ready by the researchers so the overall amount of meals and macronutrient ratio didn’t differ between circumstances. Outcomes confirmed a better utilization of fats as a gasoline supply following train within the fed situation, with variations remaining important 24 hours post-workout. Comparable outcomes have been reported by different researchers,2,4,11 though a latest examine contradicts these findings.10

It’s additionally vital to contemplate the situation of fats shops mobilized throughout coaching. From an aesthetic standpoint, the one fats loss that actually issues is from subcutaneous (i.e., beneath the pores and skin) depots. Nonetheless, solely a bit of greater than half of the fats burned throughout coaching is derived subcutaneously; the stability comes from intramuscular triglycerides (IMTG).16 IMTG are saved as lipid droplets within the sarcoplasm of the muscle and their shut proximity to the mitochondria facilitates their skill for use on-demand throughout train.13 As is perhaps anticipated, the physique adapts to efficiency of normal train by rising utilization of IMTG, thus sparing carbohydrate for potential anaerobic wants. Research present that the reliance on IMTG for gasoline in aerobically educated people is sort of twice that of those that are untrained,13,17 with the contribution of IMTG shops rising to roughly 80 p.c of whole physique fats utilization throughout 120 minutes of average depth endurance coaching.8 The take house level right here is that acute research don’t distinguish between subcutaneous fats and IMTG, and thus the online impact of accelerating fats utilization throughout coaching turns into more and more much less related with long-term cardio adherence.

Examine Limitations

So does this imply that there is no such thing as a profit to performing fasted cardio? Not essentially.

A few examine limitations should be taken under consideration when trying to attract evidence-based conclusions. For one, the examine was of comparatively brief period, spanning solely 4 weeks. Whereas this time period was ample to realize important fats loss, it stays doable that very slight variations between circumstances may take longer to manifest.

Furthermore, the findings are particular to younger, recreationally educated ladies and can’t essentially be generalized to hard-training physique athletes. It has been postulated that the true good thing about fasted cardio is particular to these with low ranges of physique fats (e.g., pre-contest bodybuilders) who’re making an attempt to lose that final pound or two of cussed fats. Whether or not this consequence performs out in observe is but to be decided.

The Backside Line

It seems clear that if there are in reality any advantages from fasted cardio, they’d be minor at finest. Though it stays doable that lean people may see small however probably significant advantages on fats loss from performing train previous to a morning meal, the technique simply as simply might have a unfavourable impression on fats burning through a diminished TEE. When contemplating all of the proof, the most effective recommendation right here could be to experiment with each methods and attempt to objectively decide what works finest for you as a person.

Brad Schoenfeld, Ph.D., CSCS, FNSCA, is broadly thought to be one of many main authorities on coaching for muscle improvement and fats loss. He has revealed over 60 peer-reviewed research on varied exercise- and nutrition-related matters. He’s additionally the creator of the best-selling e-book, The M.A.X. Muscle Plan and runs a well-liked web site and weblog at www.lookgreatnaked.com.

References: 1. Ahlborg, G, and Felig, P. Affect of glucose ingestion on fuel-hormone response throughout extended train. J. Appl. Physiol. 41: 683-688, 1976.

2. Davis, JM, Sadri, S, Sargent, RG, and Ward, D. Weight management and calorie expenditure: thermogenic results of pre-prandial and post-prandial train. Addict. Behav. 14: 347-351, 1989.

3. Febbraio, MA, Chiu, A, Angus, DJ, Arkinstall, MJ, and Hawley, JA. Results of carbohydrate ingestion earlier than and through train on glucose kinetics and efficiency. J. Appl. Physiol. 89: 2220-2226, 2000.

4. Goben, KW, Sforzo, GA, and Frye, PA. Train depth and the thermic impact of meals. Int. J. Sport Nutr. 2: 87-95, 1992.

5. Hansen, Okay, Shriver, T, and Schoeller, D. The consequences of train on the storage and oxidation of dietary fats. Sports activities Med. 35: 363-373, 2005.

6. Horowitz, JF, Mora-Rodriguez, R, Byerley, LO, and Coyle, EF. Lipolytic suppression following carbohydrate ingestion limits fats oxidation throughout train. Am. J. Physiol. 273: E768-75, 1997.

7. Horowitz, JF, Mora-Rodriguez, R, Byerley, LO, and Coyle, EF. Substrate metabolism when topics are fed carbohydrate throughout train. Am. J. Physiol. 276: E828-35, 1999.

8. Hurley, BF, Nemeth, PM, Martin, WH,third, Hagberg, JM, Dalsky, GP, and Holloszy, JO. Muscle triglyceride utilization throughout train: impact of coaching. J. Appl. Physiol. (1985) 60: 562-567, 1986.

9. Ivy, JL, Miller, W, Dover, V, Goodyear, LG, Sherman, WM, Farrell, S, and Williams, H. Endurance improved by ingestion of a glucose polymer complement. Med. Sci. Sports activities Exerc. 15: 466-471, 1983.

10. Iwayama, Okay, Kawabuchi, R, Park, I, Kurihara, R, Kobayashi, M, Hibi, M, Oishi, S, Yasunaga, Okay, Ogata, H, Nabekura, Y, and Tokuyama, Okay. Transient power deficit induced by train will increase 24-h fats oxidation in younger educated males. J. Appl. Physiol. (1985) 118: 80-85, 2015.

11. Lee, YS, Ha, MS, and Lee, YJ. The consequences of varied intensities and durations of train with and with out glucose in milk ingestion on postexercise oxygen consumption. J. Sports activities Med. Phys. Health 39: 341-347, 1999.

12. Paoli, A, Marcolin, G, Zonin, F, Neri, M, Sivieri, A, and Pacelli, QF. Exercising fasting or fed to boost fats loss? Affect of meals consumption on respiratory ratio and extra postexercise oxygen consumption after a bout of endurance coaching. Int. J. Sport Nutr. Exerc. Metab. 21: 48-54, 2011.

13. Romijn, JA, Coyle, EF, Sidossis, LS, Gastaldelli, A, Horowitz, JF, Endert, E, and Wolfe, RR. Regulation of endogenous fats and carbohydrate metabolism in relation to train depth and period. Am. J. Physiol. 265: E380-91, 1993.

14. Sonko, BJ, Fennessey, PV, Donnelly, JE, Bessesen, D, Sharp, TA, Jacobsen, DJ, Jones, RH, and Hill, JO. Ingested fats oxidation contributes 8% of 24-h whole power expenditure in reasonably overweight topics. J. Nutr. 135: 2159-2165, 2005.

15. Spriet, LL, and Watt, MJ. Regulatory mechanisms within the interplay between carbohydrate and lipid oxidation throughout train. Acta Physiol. Scand. 178: 443-452, 2003.

16. van Loon, LJ. Use of intramuscular triacylglycerol as a substrate supply throughout train in people. J. Appl. Physiol. (1985) 97: 1170-1187, 2004.

17. Watt, MJ, Heigenhauser, GJ, and Spriet, LL. Intramuscular triacylglycerol utilization in human skeletal muscle throughout train: is there an argument? J. Appl. Physiol. (1985) 93: 1185-1195, 2002.

The post Does Fasted Cardio Maximize Fats Loss? appeared first on Breaking News Today.

source https://daily247.net/does-fasted-cardio-maximize-fat-loss/

#diet #Weightloss #Fitness #DIY

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giftofshewbread · 5 years ago

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Time to Assess

We’re well past April 15 and tax time, which was delayed this year because of COVID-19. However, time to assess came. It always does. Two things are inevitable in life, the saying goes—death and taxes.

However, these aren’t inevitable in terms of believers in Jesus Christ. In the case of death, not all Christians will experience it. In the case of taxes, there is a generation of believers that could miss paying them. In both cases of death and taxes, it depends upon the Rapture.

Christians will leave the planet in an instant, being changed while alive into immortal bodies. And, if that glorious event occurs before the due tax date, they will avoid having to file tax information. Two good reasons for making sure you go in the Rapture, wouldn’t you agree?

It would be a welcome thing to not be required to deal with how much we owe Uncle Sam. I make the jest in order to lead into another sort of assessment that must be made. It is best to make it now rather than later. It, again, is wrapped up in the Rapture.

The thrilling moment when Christ calls the believer in the air, there will be an assessment. Everything done during life on earth will be looked into by the Lord Jesus Himself. There will be no mistakes in His heavenly audit.

Now this is where Christians become nervous. Will everything I’ve done be flashed upon a Jumbotron screen—the good, the bad, and the ugly?

Take comfort: Nothing bad or ugly will be on that heavenly display, as I believe the Bible teaches. Only the good things done in this life will remain on that screen.

All sin, you see, has already been dealt with by the Savior—the Lamb of God, when He hung upon that old rugged cross at Calvary. He forever did away with our sin when He said: “It is finished” and gave up His life, commending His Spirit into the hands of the Heavenly Father. The bad and the ugly were forever forgotten at that moment—that is, for those who accept Christ’s sacrifice that day some two thousand years ago.

The assessment that will be made when we stand—probably kneel—before our Lord at the bema seat judgment will involve works we have done on earth that are outside consideration of sin, which, as noted, was forever forgotten at the cross for the believer.

Motive is what will be assessed at this eternal moment.

Now, we might experience a minute of regret that we didn’t do more for our Lord. There is debate among theologians about that matter.

The Lord—the perfect Auditor—will assess whether what we did in this life with regard to certain heavenly parameters was to please Him or to satisfy our own desires.

Now, I realize that this brings up many more questions than it answers. It seems simple enough on the surface. Good works will receive rewards—even crowns. All works not done with proper motive will be burned by Heaven’s fire of righteousness in some way, as I understand what the Bible tells us.

But, this whole matter of the judgment seat of Christ—the bema—warrants an in-depth study in order to come anywhere close to comprehending this magnificent moment of assessment by the God of creation.

An upside to this heavenly assessment, as juxtaposed against hanging around planet earth to pay our April 15 confiscatory taxes to Uncle Sam, includes that, rather than have to pay, we will be paid for services rendered to Heaven’s great causes.

The constant thought near the front of our considerations while living our increments of life should be that this assessment could take place following the next click of the second hand, or our next heartbeat. Once the Rapture calls us to be with our Lord or death does so, our time to earn heavenly rewards will be a closed matter. The time for doing what we do here in genuinely wanting to please God will close, and we will look into the omniscient eyes of our Savior.

As I indicated, the matter of the bema judgment is not simple. It warrants study. Fortunately, God’s Word provides much to teach all we need to know about this subject.

Looking through my computer files is what prompted me to think on this matter. However, I believe the Holy Spirit did the true prompting in impressing that it’s time to assess. The file I found gives a good, solid study outline for this assessment.

I might have put this together some years ago myself, I’m not sure. But I believe it is rather from Dr. Harold Wilmington, a great teacher and Bible scholar at Liberty University.

Carefully go through these scriptural truths to more fully understand that coming assessment of your life before the bema.

Things on which Christians will be judged at the judgment seat of Christ:

How we treat other believers—Hebrews 6:10; Matthew 10:41–42.

How we exercise our authority over others—Hebrews 13:17; James 3: 1.

How we employ our God-given abilities—1 Corinthians 12:4, 12; 2 Timothy 1:6; 1 Peter 4: 10.

Add to these Scriptures Jesus’ teaching of the Parables of the ten pounds (Luke 19:11–6) and the talents (Matthew 25:14–29).

Each believer has at least one talent—1 Corinthians 7: 7, 12:7–11; Ephesians 4:7; 1 Peter 4:10.

There are 18 of these gifts—Romans 12; 1 Corinthians 12; Ephesians 4.

It’s up to each believer to find/discern his or her gifts.

How we use our money—1 Corinthians 60:2; 2 Corinthians 9:6–7; 1 Timothy 6:17–19.

All belongs to God—1 Peter 18–19.

How we spend our time—Psalm 90:12; Ephesians 5:16; Colossians 4:5; 1 Peter 1:17.

How much we suffer for Jesus—Matthew 5:11–12; Mark 10:29–30; Romans 8:18; 2 Corinthians 4:17; 1 Peter 4:12–13.

How we run the particular race God has chosen for us—1 Corinthians 9:24; Philippians 2:16, 3:13–14; Hebrews 12:1.

How effectively we control the old nature—1 Corinthians 9:25–27. Greek word adokimos, “castaway,” means “disapproved.” It means self is disapproved. Paul wanted to keep his old nature in check, as seen in 2 Timothy 2:15; 1 Corinthians 16:3; Philippians 1:10; 1 Thessalonians 2:4.

How many souls we witness to, and win to Christ—Proverbs 11:30; Daniel 12:3; 1 Thessalonians 2:19–20.

How we react to temptation—James 1:2–3; Revelation 3:10.

How much the doctrine of the Rapture means to us—2 Timothy 4:8.

How faithful we are to the Word of God and the flock of God—Acts 20:26–28; 2 Timothy 4:1–2; 1 Peter 5:2–4.

What will be the results of the judgment seat of Christ?

Some will receive rewards—1 Corinthians 3:14

Bible mentions at least five rewards:

The incorruptible crown, given to those who master the old nature—1 Corinthians 9:25–27

The crown of rejoicing given to soul winners—Proverbs 11:30; Daniel 12:31; Thessalonians 2:19–20.

The crown of life, given to those who successfully endure temptation—James 1:2–3; Revelation 2:10.

The crown of righteousness for those who especially love the doctrine of the Rapture—2 Timothy 4:8.

The crown of glory, given to faithful preachers and teachers—Acts 20:26–28; 2 Timothy 4:1–2; 1 Peter 5:2–4.

Looking around at the stage-setting for prophetic fulfillment that is moving in convergence and at a pace that is stunning, it is certainly time to assess!

–Terry

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gadgetsrevv · 5 years ago

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Garth Crooks’ team of the week: Maguire, Pogba, Sterling, Kane

Champions Manchester City began the defence of their Premier League title with a thumping 5-0 win at West Ham, with last season’s runners-up Liverpool beating newly-promoted Norwich 4-1.

Frank Lampard’s first league game in charge of Chelsea ended in a heavy 4-0 defeat at Manchester United and Arsenal secured a narrow 1-0 win at Newcastle.

Tottenham won 3-1 against Aston Villa, while Burnley and Brighton also scored three goals each in wins over Southampton and Watford respectively.

Sheffield United began life back in the Premier League with a 1-1 draw at Bournemouth, Crystal Palace and Everton ended goalless as did Leicester against Wolves.

Here’s my team of the week – have a read and select your own below.

Goalkeeper – Ederson (Manchester City)

This keeper has nerves of steel. Quite apart from playing passes with his feet inches from his goalline, Ederson is very capable of making match-winning saves.

The Brazil international hardly touched the ball for 60 minutes against West Ham but was then called upon to make two fantastic saves from Javier Hernandez – the second of which I thought was world class.

I adore his audacity but not his neck tattoo. I’m not sure what that’s about?

Did you know? Ederson made three saves against West Ham and completed 27 passes, more than any other keeper over the opening weekend of the Premier League season.

Defenders – Lewis Dunk (Brighton), Virgil van Dijk (Liverpool), Harry Maguire (Man Utd)

Lewis Dunk: This was a magnificent performance by Brighton’s Lewis Dunk against a Watford side who didn’t seem to realise the season had actually started. The clearance off the line by Dunk was typical of his ability to see the danger.

I knew Dunk could defend but I didn’t know he was capable of delivering such a defence-splitting pass for the likes of Neal Maupay. What a ball! The display by Dunk epitomised a Brighton performance that surprised the hell out of me.

Did you know? In addition to helping his side to a clean sheet, Dunk completed more passes (54) than any other Brighton player against Watford, also making two tackles, three clearances and two interceptions.

Virgil van Dijk: Liverpool’s Virgil van Dijk is fast becoming as imposing a figure in the opposition penalty area as he is in his own.

The beautiful lofted pass for Joel Matip to score in the Community Shield along with his headed goal against Norwich – where not one Canaries player could shift or compete with the presence of this colossus – proves the point.

Van Dijk was one of the few star performers in an otherwise dull Champions League final and should, in my view, win this year’s Ballon d’Or.

Not since Fabio Cannavaro lifted the World Cup for Italy has a defender won this illustrious award. It’s time Van Dijk did.

Did you know? Van Dijk made more interceptions (five) than any other player in Liverpool’s win over Norwich and also made three clearances, more than any of his team-mates in the match.

Harry Maguire: As far as debuts go, this was as calm and composed as it gets. I must be honest, I thought the £80m paid by Manchester United for him was a joke.

Having seen his performance against Chelsea, I’m beginning to think otherwise. If ever there was a day for the defender to simply stick to what he was good at, and not attempt any heroics, then this was it.

Maguire stuck to the script brilliantly. The England international looked commanding.

Did you know? Maguire won 71% of his seven duels against Chelsea, while also making a match-high seven clearances to help his side to a 4-0 win.

Midfielders – Kevin de Bruyne (Man City), Paul Pogba (Man Utd), Tanguy Ndombele (Spurs), Raheem Sterling (Man City)

Kevin de Bruyne: While VAR spends its entire time looking for potential red cards and flaws in the game, those of us at home or in the stadium are screaming: what for!? VAR is a scientific method designed to help the referees arrive at the right decision, not give supporters a heart attack!

Meanwhile, Kevin de Bruyne played on against West Ham completely undeterred by the technology, although VAR did try its utmost to undermine so much of his work.

De Bruyne opened up the Hammers’ defence almost at will, only to see the most wonderfully-crafted goal for Gabriel Jesus chalked off. VAR may have been right but what a killjoy.

Did you know? Since his Premier League debut for Manchester City in September 2015, only Tottenham’s Christian Eriksen (49) has more assists in the competition than De Bruyne (46).

Paul Pogba: It has not been an easy summer for Paul Pogba. The France international has been the subject of much speculation about where he might start the season and whether he is happy at Manchester United.

Well, if his performance against Chelsea is anything to go by I can’t understand what all the fuss is about.

After a sluggish start, the United playmaker absolutely destroyed any aspirations Frank Lampard may have had during this fixture with two scintillating passes. The Chelsea manager now has a few days to contemplate whether he invested too much faith in youth and not enough in experience at Old Trafford.

If he loses the Uefa Super Cup against Liverpool on Wednesday and Chelsea’s first home game against Leicester next Sunday, there will be murmurings.

Did you know? Pogba has been directly involved in 18 Premier League goals – 10 goals and eight assists – since Ole Gunnar Solskjaer took charge of Manchester United.

Tanguy Ndombele: So what do Spurs have here? I’ve seen Moussa Dembele, Eric Dier and Victor Wanyama make promising starts at White Hart Lane but none of them started like Tanguy Ndombele.

The Frenchman’s debut goal that put Spurs back in the game against Aston Villa was glorious.

I’ve seen better performances but seldom have I seen better finishes on a debut. I’m told that Tottenham’s record signing has much more to offer which is just as well. Tottenham have had some wonderful midfielders over the years and he’s got some big shoes to fill.

Did you know? Ndombele is the first player to score on his Premier League debut for Tottenham since Dier against West Ham in August 2014.

Raheem Sterling: If ever the football writers wanted any endorsement that Raheem Sterling was the right man to receive their coveted award, his performance against West Ham was it.

The Footballer of the Year started the season by scoring the fourth hat-trick of his professional career – and he did it with a touch of class.

Sterling was entitled to have a moan at Sergio Aguero about the striker not giving him the opportunity to take the penalty that would have provided him with his third goal against West Ham.

However, the England international shrugged his shoulders and gave way to the senior player before eventually getting what his performance deserved – a superbly-taken third goal.

Did you know? Sterling became the eighth player to score a hat-trick on the opening weekend of a Premier League campaign, and the first since Didier Drogba in 2010-11.

Forwards – Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang (Arsenal), Harry Kane (Spurs), Marcus Rashford (Man Utd)

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang: I don’t think you will see a better display from a player asked to lead the line on his own over the rest of the season. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang was outstanding against Newcastle.

Apart from Mesut Ozil, Arsenal no longer possess the quality of player who can thread a ball through the eye of a needle so, on the odd occasion, when that quality does appear Aubameyang has to be equal to it and he was.

Ainsley Maitland-Niles was the player who provided that touch of class which produced the opening for Aubameyang on this occasion. As for Newcastle? I did tell you Rafael Benitez would leave if the owner could not match his ambitions. Now he’s left the Magpies are up the creek without a paddle. Good luck with that.

Did you know? Aubameyang made his 50th appearance in the Premier League against Newcastle, netting his 33rd goal in the competition. The only players to have scored more than him in their first 50 appearances are Alan Shearer (41), Andy Cole (41), Mohamed Salah (35) and Kevin Phillips (34).

Harry Kane: I was furious when Mauricio Pochettino played Harry Kane in the Champions League final but I understood why he did it. Leave your best player out of the biggest game in your club’s history and you can kiss goodbye to that relationship.

Pochettino was clearly investing in something further down the line and payback started against Aston Villa. I can’t remember when I have seen two more beautifully-placed goals so gracefully stroked past a goalkeeper.

There is something of Robert Lewandowski about Kane and I wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised if Bayern Munich were interested in the England captain replacing their scoring legend at some stage. Fortunately I don’t think they have the cash.

Did you know? Kane has scored six goals in six Premier League appearances against Villa, netting four in his last two league meetings with them.

Marcus Rashford: I have always admired big-game players. The bigger the game the more Marcus Rashford seems to enjoy them. Against Chelsea, who for considerable parts of the first half controlled the match, it was the England forward who once again stepped up during the big moment to take the penalty and set Manchester United on their way to victory.

This was an impressive opening performance by Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s side but, based on what I have seen, this Manchester United team cannot win the Premier League title this season.

Did you know? Rashford has taken four penalties during his senior career for club and country and scored all four.

Now it’s your turn

You’ve seen my selections this season. But who would you go for?

The Crooks of the Matter

I said bringing in goalline technology was the tip of the iceberg and so it proved on the opening weekend of the Premier League season.

The video assistant referee (VAR) now has the power to get involved in matters that previously didn’t concern it and like most revolutions it caused mayhem.

Players and fans can now have victory snatched from them cruelly. Meanwhile, the technocrats have a field day. By the way, when did football suddenly stop being a ‘game’ and become a science? Games of course involve chance and luck as part of the package. Science deals in facts alone.

The Premier League has spent two years monitoring the use of VAR in a host of other competitions, including major European leagues, the Women’s World Cup, the Champions League and the FA Cup

So where does VAR end?

Do we become like the NFL where the game becomes dominated by the science and almost every phase of play is forensically analysed by VAR?

If the wrong decision is given for a ball that runs out of play for a throw-in or a corner for example, why is that any less vital if it results in a goal than an offside decision? The answer: it is not.

However we have somehow convinced ourselves that VAR will make the game fairer. On the contrary, it might get more decisions right but it then asks the same question of all the other decisions that the referee gets wrong.

VAR is an interfering, meddling busybody and if not contained is in danger of destroying the greatest game in the world.

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flauntpage · 6 years ago

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One Man’s Quest to Watch the First Day of the NCAA Tournament, Against All Odds

Three months ago my boss came to me and told me I would be covering a conference beginning on March 21. I’m sure I blankly looked at up her with my dead, beady eyes and agreed to it. It was three months away. Who cares about something that’s going to happen in three months.

Two weeks ago my wife asked me if I had put any thought into a March Madness bracket.

Oh shit. Does that start on the third week of March or the fourth? THE THIRD WEEK OR THE FOURTH?!

Of fucking course. March 21. First day of the tournament. Basketball, alcohol, legalized gambling….. CONFERENCE?!

That dog won’t hunt.

So here I am, in some God forsaken state, in a God forsaken convention hall, listening to much more successful men and women talk about their accomplishments that I couldn’t begin to understand. But am I a quitter? Am I just going to sit here and let the greatest four days of the year slip through my fingers?

Am I not going to watch any of the first two rounds of the March Madness tournament? Of course not. I’m no communist.

I decided to keep a running diary of my trials and travails of the first day of the tournament and my desperate attempts to stay connected on one of the greatest sports days of the year.

And yes, I’m well aware this is a complete ripoff of a Bill Simmons creation, but I’m sure he never did one for the first day of the tournament (don’t Google that please).

7 a.m. – Alarm blares. Wake up in the heartland in a terribly humid Marriott. It’s the best day of the year, baby, and being stuck in a conference will NOT stop me from indulging in my basest desires of losing money, making rash, last-minute decisions, and watching exploited college athletes perform for my amusement.

7:30 a.m. – First hurdle of the day. I’m not registered for the conference. After a 10 hour trip yesterday that included a three hour delay in Philadelphia and a 3 hour delay in Charlotte, I’m ready to quit and go home. Nobody would miss me here. I could drop dead in the lobby and they’d roll me into the nearest dumpster. Sadly, the person checking me in is accommodating and non-combative, and she quickly rectifies the situation and gets me checked in for the next four days. God damnit. I could taste sweet freedom for a mere moment.

7:35 a.m. – First presentation of the day begins. Did you know there are treatments that could be the next big thing when it comes to treating inherited diseases?! Who cares! (unless you have an inherited disease, in which case I’m sorry) I’m already exhausted. How is that possible? Five minutes down, only 65 million more to go (approximately).

8:02 a.m. – Successfully get my laptop online with the shaky convention center wifi. I am surrounded by hundreds of industry leaders. I immediately regret my decision to sit in the second row of a 600 person amphitheater. Why couldn’t I have been one of the cool kids and sit in the back. DAMN MY DEDICATION TO MY PROFESSIONAL CRAFT.

8:03 a.m. – Open a web browser and fire up the two brackets I’ve filled out. I minimize the browser so it’s just a small square in the top-left of my screen. Dutifully pretend to take notes on a presentation. Nod solemnly and crinkle my brow during lulls in a Power Point presentation I don’t understand at all. Give a few “Hmmms….” And “Wows!” to show I’m very invested. Fascinating insights.

8:04 a.m. – Brackets looks good. I immediately panic because both have way too much chalk. Duke, Michigan, UNC, Virginia final four in one; Duke, Michigan State, UNC, Virginia final four in the other. Virginia winning it all in one, UNC winning it all in the other. Not exactly taking a huge leap with either of these.

8:05 a.m. – Try to compensate for my cowardly Final Fours by picking some earlier upsets, which always go well. It’s best to tinker with your brackets, I find, mere hours before the tournament begins on a whim. Always a formula for success.

8:06 a.m. – I’ve heard great things about #13 Vermont. I pencil them in for a first round upset and feel very confident in my decision to do so. They seem RIPE to shock the world. Of course, I’m probably just daydreaming about Gus Johnson’s call of Taylor Coppenrath hitting one FROM THE PARKING LOTTTTTTTTT in 2005 against Syracuse. I know nothing of this year’s team (other than them beating my Alma mater SUNY Binghamton in the second round of the American East tournament). Fuck it. Vermont for life baby.

8:10 a.m. – Changes Vermont pick back to FSU.

8:46 a.m. – Sure, these speakers are rich and successful, but can they tell me if UCF stands any chance against Duke in the second round?! Probably.

9:01 a.m. – I keep getting notifications from my phone about gambling. I’m not in Jersey right now, phone, please stop reminding me. It’s really all sinking in now that during the first year of legal gambling I STILL won’t be able to gamble on the first two rounds of games. I’m like Tantalus in Hades, dying of thirst and hunger while standing in a pool of water and standing just under a tree of low hanging fruit. Each time I reach for a piece of fruit, or bend to drink from the pool, they move tantalizingly out of reach. I’m a tortured soul. I JUST WANT TO LOSE MONEY BETTING ON TEAMS I’VE NEVER SEEN PLAY, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

9:34 a.m. – I’m hunched over my computer, debating the merits of Cincinnati and agonizing over a potential second round matchup with Tennessee, when I look over and see my boss is sitting no less than 10 feet away from me. DEAR GOD. He could have been there for 20 seconds or the last two hours, I have no idea. Need to put a bell on him so he can’t sneak up on me again.

10:02 a.m. – Look at my brackets again. I’m hearing good things about this Vermont team! Real scrappy underdog squad. They’re good for an upset over FSU, fuck it.

10:35 a.m. – Changes Vermont pick back to FSU.

11:15 a.m. – Only 45 minutes left until the tip off to Louisville and Minnesota. If you think I didn’t watch a second of either of these teams play this season, you sir would be right. If you think I don’t have strong opinions on this game, YOU SIR DON’T KNOW ME AT ALL. REVENGE GAME FOR MINNESOTA AND THE PITINO’S, BABY! What did Rick Pitino ever do to Louisville? Oh yeah, all that horrible sex stuff to that woman and the massive amount of corruption over years in the program. Yeah, but still!

12:15 p.m. – The lunch break couldn’t come quick enough, a glorious hour of uninterrupted NCAA March Madness basketball in lieu of eating lunch with potential sources for future articles and career success. Going back to my room and eating a bag of chips I bought from Starbucks for lunch is the morally correct decision.

12:25 p.m. – There’s no tradition like completely overreacting in the first minutes of the first game of the tournament. WHY DID I PICK MINNESOTA?! WHAT WAS I THINKING?! Minnesota 5, Louisville 7 after 2 minutes of play.

12:26 p.m. – Minnesota hits a three to go up 8 to 7. I AM A BRACKET STAR. A BIG BRIGHT SHINING STAR.

12:31 p.m. – Body Armour sports drink? Perfect, there aren’t enough sports drinks on the market already. You mean to tell me this one tastes great AND REPLENISHES VITAL BODY NUTRIENTS AND ELECTROLYTES SO I CAN WATCH BASKETBALL ON MY ASS AT PEAK PERFORMANCE? I am sold, baby. Plus James Harden endorses it, so you know it’s great. I can’t wait to see this commercial 10,000 times over the course of the next three weeks.

12:33 p.m. – Jarvis Omersa on Minnesota has a shockingly frosted blonde curly afro. It’s….odd, to say the least. I feel weird commenting on it. Forget I mentioned it.

12:34 p.m. – God that afro is amazing. Omersa was just subbed out. I’ll miss him.

12:35 p.m. -Just realized his afro is bleached blonde because Minnesota are the GOLDEN gophers. I am an idiot.

12:37 p.m. – Louisville is up four. I’ve already metaphorically ripped my bracket to pieces. The lesson, as always, is Minnesota and all of its denizens can go straight to hell.

12:38 p.m. – Minnesota cuts the lead to one after a gorgeous steal. SKOL SKOL SKOL SKOL!

12:40 p.m. – I’ve paid more attention to half an hour of this game than anything else I’ve done today.

12:41 p.m. – Dupree McBrayer nails a three to put Minnesota up by 1 after a 9-1 run! Fuck yeah, Minnesota. Maybe you’re all not a bunch of morons and losers like previously thought! McBrayer, of course, is the brother of famed 30 Rock actor Jack McBrayer (unconfirmed).

12:44 p.m. – I had no idea there was even another game going on. LSU is trouncing Yale after 5 minutes of play. Hmm…who would have thought a team of finely tuned LSU athletes would put a hurting on five nerds from Yale who miss their abacuses? Combine that with the voodoo curse undoubtedly levied on the Yale program by a Louisiana valedictorian who was denied admission because they needed room on the wait list for Lori Loughlin’s dimwitted daughter and it’s bad news for the Yalies.

12:47 p.m. – Nine to nothing for LSU now. One of the Yale forwards collapsed at center court and started speaking in tongues as black blood spewed forth from his eyes. He coughed up an entire skull as several EMTs wearing ratty tophats with crows on their shoulders carted him off the field. Great sign for the Yalies!

12:49 p.m. – Omersa takes a huge charge! IS THE FRO OK? PLEASE GIVE US AN UPDATE.

12:55 p.m. – The afternoon sessions of this conference are about to start. Boo. BOO I SAY. I turn off my room television and let a out a hearty SIGH to nobody. That was fun.

1:15 p.m. – Walking back to the conference I pass another guest who is wearing a Louisville hat. I give him a knowing nod and point to my head as if I’m wearing the same hat. I am not, nor am I wearing any hat at all. My nod goes unreturned.

2:15 p.m. – I’m now reduced to checking the scores on my phone as the meeting is more and more crowded and I can’t risk looking on my computer. After rooting on Minnesota for the last two hours, I check both of my brackets and find that I had actually picked Louisville to win in each. CRIPES. I’m guaranteed to make this mistake no less than 200 times more over the course of the tournament.

2:20 p.m. – Louisville down 10 with 40 seconds left. They’re about to be prematurely ejected from the tournament, a huge bust that disappoints everyone as always. The ghost of Rick Pitino still haunts the program.

3 p.m. – JESUS CHRIST, the voodoo curse held on just enough for LSU to stave off Yale’s push and win by five. The gumbo pots will be a boiling tonight in the big easy. Yale fans probably had no idea there was even a game today. WHO COULD CARE ABOUT SPORTS AT A TIME WHEN THE ECONOMY IS IN SUCH SHAMBLES? LSU notches me my first win of the day. Now we’re COOKING baby.

3:12 p.m. – Those goddamn Vermont hippies are tied with FSU at halftime. Hopefully they’ll listen to the great Phish song “Bird Vacuum” at halftime to pump themselves up and forget they have to come out to for the second half. Playing in all-hemp uniforms must be itchy as hell.

3:13 p.m. – Trying to get updates on my phone and computer without actually watching these games absolutely sucks. It’s just the worst. Prisoners of war aren’t subjected to such torturous conditions. When is the Geneva Convention ever going to work in my favor for a change?

3:43 p.m. – AUBURN…what it is you doing, baby?! I go away for 30 minutes and come back to this? TO THIS?! I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed. I can smell Bruce Pearl’s flop-sweat from here. 77-76 with 8 seconds left….do we have the first huge upset of the day?! New Mexico State University, will you pull this off? Si or no?

3:49 p.m. – Twitter tells me Auburn fouled a shooter taking a three point attempt with 1 second left. I’m sure this isn’t as exciting as it sounds. I’m probably not missing a whole lot, right? I’m having just as much fun as everyone else.

3:50 p.m. -And the NMSU bastard promptly misses two of three free throws to bail out fat faced Pearl. You blew it, kid, I’m sure that moment won’t haunt you forever. By the way, I want to die. This is awful. Even my phone is sending me notifications asking me why I’m a loser and not watching these games on TV.

4 p.m. – My computer is dead. Long live my computer. The battery gave out after a nearly 7-hour struggle. She was a good computer and she’ll rise again when I get back to my room. I’m reduced to writing updates on my phone and EMAILING them to myself like I’m in a Conestoga wagon train heading West on the Oregon trail. Our supplies are low. That NMSU kid who missed the free throws has died of malaria. My brother Fartface is in ill-health.

4:10 p.m. – FSU holding off the unwashed masses of Vermont University despite the overpowering stench of patchouli oil emanating from the Vermont bench. Looks like Vermont’s performance down the stretch wasn’t too “groovy” as they’re down 8 with 2 minutes left.

4:11 pm – Just noticed MSU is down 1 at halftime to Bradley. That certainly wouldn’t be too crunch if they lost. If you gave me 10 chances to win a million dollars to tell you where Bradley is I wouldn’t come close. is it a trick question? Is it in American Samoa? Maybe the real Bradley University has been in our hearts all along?

4:15 p.m.– They’ll be crying CBD oil tears in their bongs tonight up in Vermont. Get a job, hippies. Part-time ski instructor at Killington doesn’t count if you’re only paid in weed and gummies. GROW UP.

4:28 p.m. – MSU pulling away now from American Samoa’s Bradley University. Tom Izzo and NCAA Tournament success are as consistent as John Harbaugh losing to Notre Dame every year! FOLKS! LET ME TELL YA!

4:29 p.m. – I’m so, so tired. I’ve been in this horribly lit convention center going on 11 hours now. What news is there of the outside world? Who’s the president?! WHAT YEAR IS IT?

4:39 p.m. – I swear to god this presenter gave the same presentation in the morning. I feel my soul rising away from my husk of a shell body.

4:40 p.m. – My decades dead grandma appeared before me and is urging me to let go of it all. Is that bad? She looks glorious.

4:41 p.m. – Tell my wife and son I love them.

4:42 p.m. – I’m so cold.

4:43 p.m. – I can barely breathe. I feel my heart slowing. I let out a prayer for forgiveness for my tortured soul before it leaves this ethereal plane.

4:44 p.m. – MSU up four. Sweet.

4:45 – My eyes shut for a mere moment….and the presenter finally stops blathering on and the director says the days events are over. Is it true? Could it really be true? I burst through the doors of the convention center and grab the nearest person I can find.

“Tell me, what day is it? For the love of god what day?” I ask.

“Today? Why, it’s NCAA Tournament day, sir!” He responds, as I run through the halls of the convention center, set free from my shackles to return to my hotel and watch the remaining slate of games unfettered. What joy! What freedom!

Until I realize I have to stay in this conference until Sunday.

Kill me now.

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terraencounters-blog-blog · 7 years ago

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This story is about the very foundation of the country of Canada. We visited an actual fur trading post with buildings dating from the 19th century. Did you know that this historic trading post was in use until 1951!!!

You can step back in time and see the largest collection of heritage wooden buildings, restored and restocked to what it used to looked like. But the most important part was listening to the stories of the interpreters in period costume who gave us a glimpse of what it was to like to live then. It was not an easy life. Imagine living here at -30°C (-22°F) or colder with no central heating, no insulation and no running hot water!

Northern BC

Northern BC is the top 1/3 of the province of British Columbia (BC). Only 256,977 people live in area 3% bigger than France and 34% bigger than California!! And that’s just 1/3 of the province of BC.

Itinerary Map

The Mt Robson to Furs and Jade Map was created to show the sigh and accommodation that comprise this part of our trip. The itinerary has been subdivided into segments of one day-drives including sightseeing.

Where to Stay

Mt Robson Provincial Park

Hotels are not convenient to Mt Robson PP There are several located in Valemount 37 km south but last summer they were over-priced in the $180 to $225 range. The next closest town is McBride 80 km to the north with more reasonable units available starting at $95.

There are also no supermarkets, cafés, and restaurants in the vicinity of Mt Robson Provincial Park (PP). We always bring a sturdy crate with non-perishable food for these reasons.

Robson Meadows Campground (tent site $28) is open circa May 18 to Sept 16. It is right across Hwy 16 from the visitor centre so it a very good location with those glorious views of Mt Robson. It is not convenient for Jasper NP but we used it as our jumping off point for Northern British Columbia (BC). Another campground is found at Lucerne 51 km further east, and two more PP campgrounds to the west of Mt Robson.

Fort St James National Historic Site

Since we arrived late at the Fort St James NHS, we wanted to continue the tour the next day. Fort St James is also an FN town with three hotels. We do not know how busy it gets as we easily got a room at the last minute at 17:00 hrs. We stayed at The View hotel ($138) right behind the site. In addition to local camping and hotels, one can also stay in the town of Vanderhoof, which has lots of hotels and restaurants since it is on the Yellowhead Hwy. But you would have to commute 61 km (41 mins.) north on Hwy 27.

Where to Go

We just woke up to another glorious sunny day with clear views of Mt Robson shown above.

The scenery heading west was not as dramatic so we stopped at the end of the PP to have a look at the good views behind us. After that we saw only wide open spaces (farmland). Did we mention that hardly anyone lives up in Northern BC?

McBride

Needless to say, one has to stop in little villages to get one’s morning cup of coffee. So our first stop was McBride, population 616. The old train station was converted into a cosy coffee shop, The Beanery, decorated with old-fashioned memorabilia. It felt like dropping into someone’s house with the owner preparing dishes for lunch right next to the “living room” area. One local regular client sat on the sofa and talked with us.

Prince George

Prince George is a city of 73,000 people. Here is where we stocked up on food – you have a wide choice of stores. But Costco and Real Canadian Superstore are right along the Yellowhead Hwy 16 on the south side of town past the Cariboo Hwy 97 exit. There are no large towns heading north to Whitehorse (Yukon) so you need to resupply here.

Fort St. James National Historic Site

In the 19th century, this was the “neighbourhood” trading post. Imagine you had to paddle hundreds of kilometres to get to it. Fort St James (FSJ) was founded in 1806 by explorer Simon Fraser and remained in use until 1951!! FSJ was the HQ for New Caledonia, the Latin name for Scotland and original English name for British Columbia.

From here the furs could be transported down the “fur highway” (my nickname) from Prince George to Vancouver. It is called the Fraser River in his honour. Simon Fraser University (SFU) in Vancouver is also named after the famous fur trader-explorer.

Run by Parks Canada, FSJ is open year-round but costumed interpreters only appear between 1st June to mid-Sept. It is the interpreters that make this site come alive.

Hudson’s Bay Company

Hudson’s Bay Company (HBC) is the oldest North American company and it still exists! Today, HBC is an international retail business consisting of The Bay, Galeria Kaufhof, Lord & Taylor and Saks Fifth Avenue.

The idea behind HBC was to sail ships from UK to the Hudson’s Bay thus bypassing New France (Québec) controlled by France.

But in 1670 HBC was more than a major fur trade company. It actually controlled and administered the 3.9 million sq km of Rupert’s Land, 40% of the land area of Canada! That is the size of Western Europe! UK did not declare it a colony because it could not be bothered ruling it!

The power struggles of the North American fur trade in the late 18th century is the subject of Netflix’s latest program, Frontier. Apparently they were not as polite as we are today. But then again this was not yet Canada.

Here is an interesting connection. William Keswick and his grandson Sir William Johnstone Keswick served at HBC. The Keswick family are the Scottish business dynasty that controls the Hong Kong-based Jardine Matheson now worth USD 42 billion! Tai-Pan is an excellent novel by James Clavell about European traders who move into Hong Kong in 1842 following the end of the First Opium War. The Noble House of this novel is based on Jardine Matheson.

Employees

The “Factor” was the chief business agent and manager of the factory (aka trading post). Both words are derived from Latin factoria. In lieu of a salary, the Factor had 2 shares of the HBC. The other staff were paid: clerks made < £100 per year. Guides, tradesmen and boatmen made < £45/year. The Canadian Pound (£), worth $4, was used until 1858 when Canada converted to decimal currency, the dollar. Typical wages in 1870 for the skilled trades in Ontario were $1.30 to $2.30 per day.

There was an interesting relationship between HBC and the First Nation (FN) people. First of all, Europeans only filled the top levels of HBC at the trading post. Second, they came as single men so most of them intermarried with local FN women. The big learning point is…

Did you know that the majority of HBC employees were First Nation or Metis? (mixed marriage). Because of their roles as liaison and hunters, the FN had more influence during the fur trade era than after it ended.

“Probably the root of the misunderstandings was that, while the Carrier [the local FN people] saw trade as primarily a social act, the fur trade companies saw it, first and foremost, as a business transaction.”

First Nations

Without the aboriginal peoples, the Europeans would not have survived their first winter in Canada. First Nation (FN) inventions not only enabled Europeans to live in Canada but have since been adopted throughout the world. The following are just a few examples:

Clothing: Inuit parkas (insulated jackets), Inuit snow goggles, fur coats, moccasins, mukluks, snow shoes, and camouflage (for both hunting and warfare).

Medicines: foxglove (genus Digitalis) to treat heart disease and black willow bark as a painkiller, which after ingestion turns into salicylic acid, the main ingredient of aspirin.

Food: Native Americans have contributed many staples of our modern diet: beans, chocolate and cocoa, corn and popcorn, cranberries, maple syrup and sugar, potato, pumpkin, peanuts, sunflower, tomato, vanilla, and yam.

Transportation: Birch bark canoes and kayaks were FN inventions. Yesterday’s transportation is today’s sports. Dug out canoes can be found around the world and were used to move supplies and furs.

The fur trade had a great impact upon Indigenous peoples. As a result of their involvement in the fur trade, many abandoned their traditional lifestyles and economy, and became reliant on European manufactured goods and foodstuffs for survival.

The arrival of Europeans also introduced diseases, such as smallpox, that devastated the aboriginal population. Less than 4% of Canada are FN people. But 16.6% of the indigenous population live in British Columbia.

Fur Warehouse (1888-89)

Exterior

How do you construct buildings in the wilderness without trained tradesmen and modern materials? How do you construct buildings quickly and easily? Well, there are lots of trees. So they came up with “post and sliding piece” construction. Two sets of double posts provide a bay where whole logs are piled – it’s easy to replace rotten logs, expand a building, or even relocate it!

Essentially, it’s a log house but the timbers are squared. All this squaring had to be done by hand.

Caulking

There was no insulation but they had to keep wind and water out. The horizontal spaces or joints between logs are “chinked” with moss, clay, and/or dried animal dung and “daubed” with a mixture of clay and lime. Chinking and daubing completed the exterior walls of the log pen by sealing them against driving wind, rain and snow as well as blocking the entry of vermin.

Did you know that the caulking gun was invented by a Canadian in 1894: it was adapted from a cake decorator!!!

Interior

When we were there, some German traders were exploring the stacks of supplies including sacks of sugar and oatmeal, crates of coffee and traps, and boxes of soap and yeast.

Furs were hanging from the rafters waiting for transport to Victoria. Beaver wasn’t the only fur. The most important furs in order of exports were beaver, marten, otter, mink, fox, bear, deer… You get a chance to touch the furs. Some are amazingly soft.

Beaver Felt Hats (1550-1860)

Did you know that the beaver is North America’s largest rodent? But why was the beaver the most desirable fur? Its’ amphibious body is covered with a soft felt-like under fur that is one inch thick. It made the top hats water repellant. After all, the beaver is a water rat.

Fashion was the primary cause of fur demand and business. Who knew that the beaver hat fashion was inspired by Swedish soldiers during the Thirty Years’ War (1618-48)?

Tricorne and top hats were used by the military, aristocrats and eventually by other social classes. The beaver had been hunted to extinction in Europe. The best quality hats were made from beaver as it has the most luxurious felt. HBC promoted itself in the beginning by providing free hats (£34) to important men.

So what did FN and traders buy? On the barrel outside we see two products you can still buy today! Pear’s transparent soap started in London 1807 and Colman’s Mustard founded in 1814.

Foods shipped into the posts included salt pork, wheat flour, corn, cheese, chocolate, condiments, rum and high wine.

Boardwalks are raised wood platforms to keep feet out of puddles and horse poop. Moving clockwise we pass the Fish House where they dried salmon to keep for future meals. The Fish House is on stilts to prevent entry by animals. Turning right we get to…

Men’s House (1884)

This log building served as a company employees house, and a guest house. As a rule, windows were covered with parchment (rawhide). Glass at inland settlements was a luxury and must have been added later.

Here we have a trader from Germany trying out the best whisky. He’s relaxing in an early model of the lazy boy recliner with the best bear fur seat and an elevated foot rest.

Do you think you could live here? Let’s get rustic! No plumbing. No running water. Feed the stove logs to keep warm. Notice the newspapers on the wall. These were used to keep out drafts

The kerosene (aka paraffin) distillation method was invented by Canadian geologist Dr. Abraham Gesner in 1846. Even if you have never had a kerosene lamp, most of you have used kerosene. It’s also called jet fuel.

Look for the alphabet along the wall over the bed covered in a HBC blanket! This log building once served as a school.

Men back then wouldn’t bathe often. In order to keep warm they wore many layers. Instead of taking their long johns off when they started to wear, they would put another pair on top. By the end of winter they would have three or more pairs that they had yet to take off all season. Summertime would arrive and then came time for the removal process. Their body hair would grown through the fabric which mean taking them off was a painful process. One interpreter told us that sometimes the underwear fused to their skin!!!

Lead

Canned fruit and vegetables were imported to the Great North. The tin can was invented in London 1810. Early cans were sealed with a tin-lead alloy, which could lead to lead poisoning. HBC used boats to bring trade goods to Canada and return with furs via Hudson’s Bay to Europe.

Here is a connection to the fur trade. In 1845 there was an expedition to discover the remainder of the Northwest Passage through the Arctic to Asia. Both of Sir John Franklin’s ships were recently found by Canada. Autopsies of the Sir John Franklin Expedition showed that crew members suffered from severe lead poisoning, caused by eating from lead-soldered tin cans and drinking water from lead water pipes!

Medicine

Notice the box marked “Perry Davis’ Vegetable Pain Killer”. When we watch western movies we think of con men selling fake products. However, this drug actually worked! Patented in 1845, it was the first drug to be nationally advertised selling for $1 per bottle

It was distributed around the world by Christian missionaries who had no idea of its ingredients. Since “Perry Davis Pain Killer” was a registered brand name, there was no legal requirement to make its ingredients public on the bottle. The pian killer was indeed entirely natural and it worked because it was made primarily from alcohol and opiates.

Trade Store (1884)

This was the first The Bay department store! The fur trade was the primary reason for Europeans to interact with the aboriginal population. The Trade Store was also the first post office in the region.

This is a reconstructed building, as the original burnt down in 1919. The Dakelh (Carrier) people quickly discovered they could get most of the things they wanted from the trade store without ever bringing in furs. This was because the traders were in such desperate need of salmon and traded for them from the Dakelh in huge quantities. To encourage the trapping and trading of furs, the Company eventually adopted a policy to accept only furs in trade for the most valued store items, such as blankets or metal pots.

The Made Beaver

The Hudson’s Bay Company trade with the First Nations was carried out through bartering. The HBC standardized the unit of account as the Made Beaver (MB), or one high quality male beaver skin, to ensure consistent pricing for pelts throughout Rupert’s Land. A trapper might make 300 MB per season.

However, the value of products did vary. In 1795, a pistol could be purchased for 4 made beaver pelts (MB); a rifle for 10-12 MB. So what did 1 MB buy? German chocolate, kettle, gallon brandy, shoes, 2 shirts, 2 lbs sugar, 1 trousers,… Today 1 MB = $31.

By 1700, the famous and colourful striped HBC blankets accounted for more than 60% of the trade. They cost 1 to 3 MB depending on size and quality. The 100% wool blankets are still sold today for $70.

The Buck

Americans trace the term buck meaning deer skins back to 1748, about 44 years before the first U.S. dollar was minted. Whoa, not so fast: that was not the original buck. The HBC struck a coin in the 17th century that was equal to the value of one buck-toothed male beaver pelt – it was known as a “buck”. The beaver became the national symbol of HBC and later Canada. It is still found on the tail’s side of the Canadian nickel (five cent coin).

Factor’s House (1884)

The Chief Factor’s house underwent many changes over the years but has been restored to the period when Chief Factor A.C. Murray and his family occupied the house (1886).

By looking at the furniture in the living room and the fancy dinner ware in the dining room, you can see that the factor lived in relative luxury compared to everyone else. You too can spend the night in the Murray House Bed and Breakfast and enjoy the solitude without any tourists once the fort closes for the day.

Sir James Douglas

Sir James Douglas was born in Demerara, Guyana. Yes, that is the town where we get the name for one of our sugar varieties. After schooling in Scotland, he worked for the Northwest Company in the fur trade. The NWC was based in Montreal, which became the financial capital of Canada thanks to the fur trade. In fact, many of Canada’s cities started off in the fur trade – such as Winnipeg, Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver and Victoria. Think of the fur trade as the original gold rush in North America.

Early in his career, Douglas served as a fur trade clerk at Fort St. James. His wife was Métis (part native). Douglas became chief factor of HBC when the NWC merged with HBC in 1821. He would have sat on the chair in this photo of the factor’s office.

He is best remembered for a famous confrontation he had there with the Dakelh Chief Kw’eh in 1828. After that he was moved south.

In 1843 he founded Fort Victoria, which is still the capital of British Columbia (BC). In 1851, James Douglas had to resign from HBC as he was appointed governor of the colony of Vancouver Island.

The population of New Caledonia (the BC mainland) was largely American and other foreigners. When gold was discovered in the Fraser Valley (1858), Douglas predicted 10,000s of American prospectors could tilt the future BC to become part of the US. The first wave was 25,000 people!

Douglas asserted British sovereignty over the “mainland” – technically, it wasn’t under his jurisdiction as it wasn’t part of Vancouver Island. He asserted authority over American miners and undermined American territorial ambitions.

Shortly thereafter, the UK Colonial Office formally ratified Douglas’ proclamation of sovereignty and established a new colony encompassing the mainland. But there was already a French territory in the South Pacific called New Caledonia (Nouvelle-Calédonie actually), so Queen Victoria named the new colony British Columbia. Douglas was appointed the first governor of the Colony of British Columbia in 1858.

The area of British Columbia (944,735 sq km) is 7% bigger than France and UK combined, 21% larger than Turkey, and 35% bigger than Texas!

Future of Canada

Douglas was governor of BC from 1858 to 1864 and is often called the Father of BC. All land was assigned to the government. He relied on his gold commissioners to lay out reserves for the indigenous peoples, record mining and land claims, and arbitrate mining disputes.

Douglas built a wagon road 640 km long following the Fraser to distant Cariboo, where gold nuggets had been found (see Cariboo Road). It was extended in 1865 to Barkerville, a new gold rush town, which will be the subject of a later post as it is a must-see.

In 1869, HBC rejected an American government offer of CA $10,000,000 to buy Rupert’s Land. That would have been quite a steal considering the $7 million spent to buy much smaller Alaska. Instead, the British pressured HBC to sell it to Canada for $1.5 million. That was quite a deal, except HBC never paid for it in the first place!! This land became the Northwest Territories, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, and the northern parts of Ontario and Quebec. Manitoba became the fifth province to join Confederation in 1870.

British Columbia joined Confederation on 20 July 1871, becoming Canada’s sixth province. This was spurred on by the gold rushes and the promise of a transcontinental railway link. The railway was not completed until 1883. You can see where the Canadian Pacific Railway used advanced engineering to build the Spiral Tunnel to descend west out of the Rocky Mountains. The ends of the tunnels are visible from two viewpoints in Yoho NP (which is in BC). On our return trip east we will post about magnificent Yoho NP, one of our favourite parks in the Rockies.

Visit an actual fur trade post with the largest collection of wooden buildings from the 19th century! #travel #amazing #Canada #nature #roadtrip #wildlife #photography #must-see #sights #exploreBC @HelloBC This story is about the very foundation of the country of Canada. We visited an actual fur trading post with buildings dating from the 19th century.

#beaver #featured #fur trade #History #inventions #Photography

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