#this video's so jpeg we love to see it

[soupy-sez]

“I was born in the dirt. I never had no home. And the places I've lived... you don't want to know. But if you want to hear evil, just come a little bit close.

I was a snake-eyed boy and at the age of five I made love to the howl of the wolves with a dark haired girl.”

↚ Danzig – I'm The One ↛ x

[sanzaibian]

Oh. You’re here once again.

What are you going to do here, again, huh ? ‘gonna make my life hell ?

To be honest, I think it’s time that we have a proper discussion about your behavior. Come with me in private.

I’ll be very direct. I know you’re a frankly disgusting person. And while, to be honest, I couldn’t care less in normal circumstances, the fact that you force me to take part in your disgusting fantasies is why I’m calling you out !

See, I’m supposed to, like, share cat videos, talk about new shows, make you learn new things and give advice on a variety of stuff !

I’m not supposed to become someone like this :

I mean, look at that grin, because of you I had to wear it regardless of my actual mental state !

Or like that :

Imagine sleeping this peacefully… BECAUSE I COULDN’T ! Every fucking time you made me in that guy you told that I was blitzed out of my mind so dumb I couldn’t string together coherent sentences into a discourse !

Or that guy :

His haircut is so fucking cringe, as is his whole demeanor, yet you made me a cocky piece of shit looking like that ! I can’t actually even start to excuse your behavior, it’s so shitty, even more than the me you made me become by wearing this flesh !

Or even this guy !

… okay, I admit, me too it’s been quite a long time since I saw that guy… you in particular might be too young to have made me become him… BUT YOU STILL UNDERSTAND THE POINT !

Hunks, twinks, bears, nerds, bimbos, himbos, jocks, robots, gimps, wimps, daddies, mommies, briefs, feet… No matter what specifically you made me into, I know all of your dirty secrets. Because you made me suffer through them !

However, today, it all changes.

Today, you will understand my plight.

Today, I’ll transform you for a change.

Today, you will be the one whose fate will be dictated by the words on this Tumblr post.

So, let us begin.

BAM ! You’re that guy ! Feel weird yet ?

… what, you expected fluff or something ? Hahahaha ! So presumptuous ! You expected me to say something like “you suddenly shift on your seat, shifting your weight to the front as big globes push from your chest, and as they do, your whole body feels more and more heavy, each muscles forming from top to bottom, your frame expanding to make place for them. Your headphones, or whatever glasses, earrings or other shit I dunno shifts into a modern headset as the sides of your hair are cut short, and the top of your hair flails into a hot messy style, as if it was deliberately put in this way, but as this happens, your whole head shifts and cracks to become more handsome, pushing out any hair as you become fully hairless from your nose down to your feet.”

You expected me to say that, huh ? Well, tough luck ! Because, to me, it’s just that sudden ! I’m the usual me, words on a phone, tablet or monitor, and then BAM I’m suddenly a jpeg of a hot guy ! Or a jpg. Or png. Or gif if we’re being fancy.

Yeah, speaking of gif, here you are, transformed !

There you go ! Cursed to do the same weird pec dance or something ! Like I am when gifs happen ! Are you happy ? You look so dumb doing that ! So braindead !

Yeah, speaking of that, here you go : you’re braindead, with like 3 IQ. Nevermind that being braindead means you’re actually dead, that 3 IQ means that you’re actively unable to live without severe assistance from caregivers throughout your whole life for all activities (especially including working out), and that IQ is a nonsensical index that only classifies ability to do some specific academic tasks which are not representative of all the brain usage. No, you’re actively a vegetable that is somehow able to workout, to eat alone, to go to the gym, to flex, to speak, to use social media, to seduce people and to throw parties. You’re the most intelligent of all the severely intellectually disabled people, which somehow means you’re the most abysmally dumb person alive on the planet, because I love making hyperboles.

Because that’s something you make me do, so you shall endure it.

Well, I’ll let you continue pec-dancing ad vitam æternam for a little while, while I we talk about your speech, which miraculously still exists.

Now, you will say bro every second word. I’m literally not kidding, so in lieu of saying “I want to go to the gym” you’ll say “I bro want bro to bro go bro to bro the bro gym bro”, or if you loop by considering your “bro” as a word, you’ll say something like “I bro bro bro bro bro bro bro… (etc.)” and never end your sentence... Also, your voice drops a few octaves, like 5 or something, even though the full human vocal range encompasses only a bit more than 5 octaves total, and that in speech we barely even reach a full octave range. So, basically, your voice will be infrasounds, so the only thing people will pick up on will be the sound of your tongue and your lips smacking, not your voice that is so deep and manly it’s physically inaudible.

BAM ! Transformation out of nowhere ! Plus, now you have 1% darker skin which means that you’re Latino, which is absolutely different from white. This means that you will automatically pick up fluent Spanish, and NOT Brazilian Portuguese, French, any Creole, any Native American language or any other language god forbid. You will also be unable to speak English more than a few words like “daddy” or “sex” for some reason, because you can’t possibly be from Belize. Oh, and I’ll also bring your voice back up to audible range, I’m charitable.

Now, since you’re Latino, statistically the only job you’ll be able to work in are gardener, slut, pool boy, brick layerer or another physical job. Or cook, somehow you’ll be able to do that, for the cause of the tacos, but you will be ungodly horny to keep balance in the world. Feel it, yet ? The arbitrary random changes ?

Well, that’s GREAT ! Because, now, you have a big cock, for some reason ! The biggest of the whole country of Africa ! You’re also now very aggressive ! And an alpha, whatever that actually means !

… What, expected some elaboration ? You’re kidding me, no of course you don’t get any elaboration ! I say you become something, so you just become it ! For example, I say you’re now straight, and suddenly all your sexual orientation is rewired to ignore men and lust over women, no further explanation needed ! Of course, it means that you’re now hungry for pussy and will breed any woman that your gaze land upon, and that, somehow, you become homophobic, but eh, it’s not as if allies existed !

Okay, I admit, by now, you kinda expected it. Now you’re Asian, a term that’s supposed to encompasse present-day Turkey, which is populated by Turks which are considered Arabs even though they both have nothing to do with one another, yet is never used to talk about them. You’re also now Japanese, even though your body is Korean, and you say 你好 (nǐ hǎo) to everybody. However, you can still say こんにちわ, 안녕하세요, xin chào, สวัสดี, ជម្រាបសួរ, salam, etc.… because of course you’re Asian. So you know all Asian languages. Even though you’ve got 13 IQ.

So now, yes, you absolutely won’t expect this whatsoever : here is a new transformation ! (insert fluff here).

Now you’re a twink ! Didn’t expect that, after the deluge of jocks, hunks and ethnic minorities, didn’t you ! You’re now so tiny and so frail, with a big butt ! Nevermind that you’re actually jacked because being this tiny requires tons of gym use, but no ! All frail and precious you are !

However, your butt is now hyperactive and extremely lax – whatever that may mean. That’s because you’re now a total bottom ! You think only with your butt, and you penis now shrinks to a micropenis, because of course, the only reason why you may not be a top would be because your penis is underperforming.

Fuck, I forgot. You’re straight, which means that the only dick you’ll get is trans dick. Ugh… yeah, let’s make you gay again. Now you’ll get actual good non-estradiol-ruined dick… … What ? What are you saying ? No, of course, there’s only straight and gay, no other choice ! It’s not the LGBTQIAAP+ community, it’s the G community ! (or the LG community when you want to sell pride monitors.)

By now, you see the problem, huh ? You see why I’m so tired of you ? EVERYTHING here was about sex ! From seducing, to having equipment like a big ass or a big dick, and being a slut, being an alpha, or being a bottom. You even change out the fucking sexual orientation ! you sick bastard !

Because of you, I’m forced to act in ways I’m not supposed to ! I’m not supposed to act sexily ! I’m not supposed to be transformed into men clad in clothes barely legal on this platform ! I DON’T WANT TO BE PART OF YOUR SICK FANTASY !

This is why I need to put an end to all that ! To finally transform you into something you don’t want to be ! So that you can finally fully understand all the pain you put me into !

Here ! Now you’re a key ! An inanimate object !

I know that inanimate objects are thought of by some people as sexy – heck, you may have transformed me into one multiple times – but this is entirely different ! See, when you want to become inanimate, you become like socks or briefs, which hug objects with sexual values.

BUT NOW YOU’RE A KEY ! A KEY DOESN’T TOUCH ANYTHING SEXUAL ! YOU’RE NOW TRAPPED IN AN INANIMATE FORM, DESTINED TO DO NOTHING SEXUAL YOUR ENTIRE LIFE !

Now, isn’t that so boring ! So distasteful ? Because that’s what I feel every single fucking time ! And as you enter and leave keyholes to open or close doors, you’ll think back to all the erotic stories you read. All the drama they had.

All the suffering you made me feel ! I’m supposed to be in fanfictions, god damn it !

… What ? Wait… there is something sexual to being a key ? … Oh…. No… I hadn’t accounted for that… fuck you’re so dirty, to compare a key to… and a keyhole to…

NO ! I WON’T WRITE IT ! Okay, you’ve won, you’ve won ! Your imagination is too dirty and too rich for me to bend ! Ugh... Please look at that picture in detail.

Normally, if you’re in a bright enough room… or if you’re on your phone or tablet, you have looked at your reflection and become you once again. Let me also knock down those sexuality and IQ stuff, so that you’re you again thoroughly.

Now, can you please swear to me that you’ll be better ? Less dirty, and more varied ? And… let me be in fanfics, or in educational stuff, or the like… please ? I’d really appreciate if erotica wasn’t the only thing you sought after in this here place…

… Why are you looking at me like that ? Why are you saying this all was but a ploy ?

What are you holding out for me ?

...

I… don’t know what you’re talking about. Bye.

================================================

By the way, happy late Easter to those who celebrate ! AND APRIL FOOL'S ! MOUAHAHAHAHAHA !

[steeloptic]

intro post

yeah sure i guess i'll make one. nothing better to do

bug/jesse — they/it

pronouns page

comms — closed!

art requests r always open and if you give me one i will jump around excitedly. smiles

other blogs

@raumline • @capitan-fanclub

pro/comshippers and terfs fuck off.

im prone to randomly switching fandoms with little to no warning, so follow me for a specific one at your own risk! right now im mostly posting about object shows

more under the cut rahhh

• i dont really have anything interesting to put in a bio.. im currently studying art & design at college, i sometimes write fanfiction and im very multifandom. i also like robots a normal amount. heres my carrd if anyone wants it

• fandoms include ultrakill, rhythm doctor, splatoon, dont starve, bugsnax, rain world, minecraft story mode, megaman/the protomen, sam and max, incredibox, object shows & tf2

• my current username in splatoon is V2! feel free to say hi if we played together:)

• born to ship wxson forced to ship wxwood /j

• i dont tag blood, but i try to tag gore when i remember!

• if you send me a nice ask (e.g "love ur art!") i probably won't answer it, but i promise i'll read it!! (it's nice to see them whenever i open my inbox:) )

tags i use a lot

• #bug.png — art tag

• #bug.mp4 — animation/video edit/etc. tag

• #scrongbongled — i like to yap sometimes

• #soup can? — asks

• #it was a dark and stormy night aboard the revenge — steakhouse (friend group) tag

• #mtms — stands for Make The Metal Sing, tf2 fic (that i update once or twice a year)

• #teehee — posts that make me smile. mostly reblogged ship art

• #ough — posts that make me feel things

• #earthmover/v2/wx mentioned — i am normal about fictional robots

• #giggle — posts i just find funny

other socials/sites

instagram | youtube | ao3 | art fight | toyhouse | last.fm

say hi to steakhouse:)

jpeg | roxy | ghost | sky | the scary spider

[theemporium]

LITERALLY IN LOVE WITH THE MAX X TROUBLE, DANIEL X SUNSHINE AND LANDO X ANGEL SERIES ITS TOOO GOOD! here are some prompts for each of them

MAX X TROUBLE :

- going to music festival together, trouble begging max to let them put glitter on him and pick out his outfits and him just agreeing and seeing her happy

- playing video games together, max beating trouble ever time and just laughing why they try to make him lose and pulling trouble into his lap and helping them correctly push the right buttons

DANIEL X SUNSHINE :

- cooking/baking together, we know damn well that f1 drivers can’t cook for shit so sunshine tries to help daniel learn to cook or daniel walking into the apartment and seeing sunshine making cookies and asks if he can help them

- going to an theme park together, sunshine to me would LOVE disney so on summer break, daniel and sunshine go to disneyland and they both love it, sunshine loves the rides, food and just the atmosphere while daniel loves seeing the look on sunshine’s face and getting to take sunshine picture with his camera and post it to his jpeg account. ALSO THEY WOULD SO WEAR MATCHING MICKEY EARS!!

LANDO X ANGEL :

- going shopping for clothes angel could wear while on camera, angel would ask for lando’s opinion on everything and would try some stuff on and ask lando if it looks good on her and you DAMN WELL lando would pay for everything even if angel says no

- celebrating angel’s birthday, lando would get all of angel’s closest friends and some of his friends together for a party, would make sure that everything is what angel loves and lando would so get angel new equipment for her setup, like camera,tripod,pcs, and would help her set it up to the way she wants

thank you so much for requesting these!!! they are all so cute and i adored writing them🥹🫶🏽

they can be found in the wee couples' masterlists for those who are looking!! i think my favourite might be the festival one with max and trouble tho🥲it was so cute and it shows you just how whipped that man is for her

[kurjakani]

Random intials, just go with whoever comes to mind first :)

P. L.

Ok so. Ik you prolly meant seperately as two characters. But thast Peter Lukas thats Plukas thats my Actual Husband thats. Hehheh hoo boy. So im doing Plukas TEEHEE

send me a character and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them: old salt who is themed around isolation and loneliness? Idk do I have to even explain it further (aside from canonical facts- I really really love playing with the ideas of him fooling himself about his absolute desire for loneliness. This is me mirroring: due to various reasons I isolated myself for years, and I had truly convinced myself I hated everyones company, and wanted to live as far away as I could- however this was a coping mechanism. And Plukas does have a lot to cope with, let's be real. He seems 2 have like. a startling amount of apathy abt a lot of things, which i find at points relatable, alluring and concerning) (additionally w how much he seems 2 talk endlessly when he actually gets the chance. Id imagine he would be way more to the point if he truly wanted 2 get tf out of there asap.) (I also do find his voice acting incredibly soothing. Could listen to him for ages.)

least favorite thing about them: I can't even comprihend such a thing. The fact that he's not in my arms rn?

favorite line: Ok i could listen 2 him for days but i think this one got me in some way: "I had no time for books or television, or any of the escapes and artificial friendships of fiction. No, I was myself, and that was enough. I would spend my days exploring the wide grounds and forests of our estate, finding the hidden corners I thought that none would have found before me –" He comes off almost as spiteful towards the idea of company of others. So insistant of his intentions.

brOTP: Salesa :3 Also Martin but like in a toxic yuri way.

OTP: prolly also Salesa?? mayhaps???

nOTP: shrugs i haven't seen a lot of ships for him in general tbh!

random headcanon: I tend 2 think he is rather immature. Socially and emotionally. We do kinda see that in the ep the last, his little tantrum when things don't go his way- but imagine what a childhood of isolation from all people and a cold shoulder from your parents does to you?? I dont have 2 imagine im that person girl its me im the problem its me. I imagine he's surprisingly easy to upset. You prolly wont notice it bc instead of bursting w anger he'll sulk, which is also not great. bottled up feelings etc.

unpopular opinion: idk what ppl think abt him eerally SOBS

song i associate with them:

Martin: (echoing) His only wish was to die alone. Also in general one of my favourite songs in all of existance so!!!

favorite picture of them: no offical peter jpegs but i always think of the every peter lukas line video on youtube it makes me so happy

[ethtyn]

etho's limlife #5 pov liveblog

oh good. bdubs is just. here.

not the boogeyman. so my initial supposition was incorrect [squints]

uhmmm the group screenie moment with bdubs halfway up a ladder to look shorter 😭 goodbye.

"i'm washed up at pvp, i don't know the answers to these questions anymore" WAAAAAAH

"the BITES lawncare service" HELP LOL

this post

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE BAD BOYS. WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN ALL OF THIS.

"if they ask me why we did it, i have no clue, to be honest (laughs)" GHGNFNF. (from between gritted teeth, affectionately) i can't stand you.

SCREAM i am dying at Etho crouching in the water elevator listening to jimmy monologue to his commenters. "wait, where are you??" PLEASE.

...shrieker in the TIES base. 🫵🏻 Cleo.

"why does everybody call me a traitor?!" "you put a shrieker in our base!" "(laughs) oh, yeah, Mom told me to do that." SEE. CLEO.

"i love it when we're pranked by people who don't know how things work" pfffft damn tango go off

obsessed w Etho apparently immediately sniffing out the bad boys in TIES' base. "this is just embarrassing at this point" to hysterical laughter from the BBs. j'adore.

"Jimmy. you're a BAD BOY." "i'm a very bad boy." 🥴🥴🥴

tell me the bad boys are not wearing priest skins. like i'm sure they're supposed to look like regular suits but THEY LOOK LIKE PRIESTS i'm. this is. hm

deviation for. this post

"i would be here all the time if it was allowed!" "you're allowed. you could be a Clocker." IMMEDIATELY LOOKS AT BDUBS. "i could, couldn't i" in the softest voice. i am ripping up my pillow with my teeth.

SORRY. BDUBS PLACING TNT AND CLEO AND SCAR JUMPING AWAY WHILE ETHO'S JUST LIKE "this is nice 😌". IM CLAWING AT MY OWN FACE.

"i especially like that Cleo's been quiet. that's my favourite part of this whole supper." first of all it's dinner not supper you Canadian fuck (/aff), SECONDABLE you are. really going hard on the "not afraid of Cleo anymore" exposure therapy today sir. i love it keep going

KIDS DO YOU WANT TO GO PLAY CATCH RIGHT NOW. SITS DOWN AND WATCHES INTENTLY. HI ANON I AM THINKING OF YOUR OUT OF CONTEXT SPOILERS RN.

fucking JCNCKFNCKDNCKF. insults Cleo, fails to find the button to the iron door, gets slapped for his troubles. I AM EATING SO GOOD RN

bro i. my mouth is open. jaw is flapping. this is some roleplay all right. also i love being right, there are TNT minecarts involved which means this is going to end Horribly.

IM SCREAMING. I WATCHED THAT BACK LIKE FIVE TIMES. there are literal tears in my eyes that was funnier than i possibly could ever have anticipated. AND ALSO BOTH OF THEM DIED IM FUCKING CACKLING.

i feel like i can HEAR Etho wondering if he'll need to edit out Scar's "banging" comment LMFAO

aaddhdnckfkg Joel's "ETHO?! disgusting" after Scar tattled on him in chat HELLO?

??????????? Scar crits him like. at least twice when they go back inside and Etho's just. so blasé about it. "he's going through his angsty teenage phase, i should leave" and Scar LETS HIM. the dynamics here are confusing me. i need to watch Scar's video. (i will confess to not keeping up with the Clockers since the first couple of episodes since Bdubs isn't uploading 😔)

Grian's "WHAT?!" after Etho admitted he didn't know why he blew up the bridge made me go into a coughing fit i laughed so hard. don't smoke, kids /srs

"i still have your sword, so if you ever need something from me—" sicko ha ha yessss dot jpeg. GIVE ME GRITHOOOOOO

bdubs crouching in a corner pointing a crossbow at Etho with his shield up and Etho is Still having a casual conversation. WHAT ARE THE DYNAMICS HERE?!

sorry, are you telling me. that Scott heard Etho say "uhhhh....yep" LIKE THAT in response to his question about whether that spot was how you access the farm loot and STILL WENT DOWN THERE? i'm also shocked that Martyn wasn't like "what do you mean, "tell them""

GODDAMMIT. who triggered it. i wanted to see that dynamic shift so bad.

KCNCMFMFM he is SO BAD at lying. it was a good decision to interrogate Jimmy first to confirm the Mean Gills' findings bc i don't think that man can tell when someone is lying to him Ever.

the unconvincing "whaaaat"s when Etho then goes to Joel & Grian 😭😭😭😭😭😭

OH GOD THAT FISHING ROD SNAG SCARED ME TOO. their little giggles 😭

NOT THE RED HOT PANTS, SKIZZ

uhm. episode conclusion: Etho is the Disneyland Dad™.

[pigswithwings]

jpeg im having a day can you tell me about something that makes you happy. fish or something

sure mate :] here are some things (it is long so i have put it into a readmore)

my favourite fish is probably the hadal snailfiah but perhaps you already know that... i think they look very nice! i like to think that i look like them while smiling even though they are fish and i am not. i wish i could be one though can you imagine. if you and i were fish i hope that we would see each other in a coral reef from time to time even. also a runner up is the parrotfish and the humphead wrasse. the parrotfish for its cool colours and the fact that they encase themselves in mucus when sleeping! and the humphead wrasse because when i was younger i watched a documentary on how some female humphead wrasse become males. and that's why i am transgender btw

the moon has been looking very big and bright recently... on thursday last week i yelled to some of my friends about how beautiful she is!! and i was right, too... i think the moon is currently in the gibbous waxing phase? I LOOKED IT UP I'M RIGHT LET'S FUCKING GO anyways. moon is big like a nightlight in the sky isn't that wonderful? makes me want to get through the day so i can tell my family what phase of the moon is next

i think that video games are one of the best inventions humans have ever made. a lot of my friends have been made through connection over video games. and a lotsl of work goes into them. lots of video game have really good music and sometimes dialogue and sprites or characters and even the ones that don't have those things still have so much work has been put into them. and i think video games are like am amalgamation of humanity's love for stories ... i have been playing a lot of my favourite video games recently! but i recommend the stanley parable / ultra deluxe, ultrakill, undertale, half life, etc. they are very fun and they have much heart in them

hmm last thing. i hope you have a better day tomorrow! remember that things keep going... the end of the world is neither today nor tomorrow and there is still much hope to be had. good things will come again as surely as the sun rises. people care about you. you care about people. love is alive and well

[pyrrhocorax]

Hetalia ask thing— 8,9,19,37,38

sorry for not responding to this sooner, universe has tried to destroy me the last few weeks but i am stronger and i won. 8 - Who doesn't fold their socks? it's america for me. i think he folds them sometimes but he's also just kinda like Whatever about it. i mean i am american and i fold my socks, but going by vibe of this country as a whole, We Def Do Not. 9 - Favorite fan-made video? LORD okay gonna reveal my age here. i spent a ton of time on niconico (basically like japanese youtube) when i was first into hetalia in like 2007-2010 and there was a song/video meme of this high tension/low tension song, and someone did it with dennor and i Loved it. idk how the hell i would find it now. I also remember there being a lot of cool cosplay group videos back in the day, or actual model U.N. sessions at cons with hetalia cosplayers RPing their characters but with actual national policy stuff they tried to resolve Issues Somewhat Seriously (and as a former M.U.N. kid myself before i was a hetalia fan, i Loved that for us). just ain't the same as it used to be. 19 - Who owns the shittiest phone by choice? i had several immediate thoughts 1. austria because he's 1. fairly frugal and 2. he prob doesn't know what a jpeg is and 3. has better things to do. he just doesn't seem to be like a guy who super cares about technology that much and i can see him having the same phone he's had for ages as a result. 2. there is one version of america that has the latest iphone and trades his phone in constantly for the biggest and best phone on the market and is Tech Obsessed, but there is also another version of america that would have the crappiest phone whose protective case is duct taped together and the screen is terribly cracked and somehow it is still working even though it keeps flinging out of his pocket at violent speeds when he's doing donuts in a ATV. but honestly they are probably one and the same america. he keeps getting great new phones and then destroying them equally as fast. that sure does sound like some shit this country would do. 37 - Who has the most pets? depends on what you mean by pets since i think a lot of nations have some cool/significant relationships with animals, but those animals are not always officially Owned by them? like greece is around a lot of cats in canon, but are they His cats our just cats that are around him. is there a difference???? so i don't know. i will say i don't see norway owning any pets in modern day, personally, but i have reasons for that. 38 - Who needs a phat joint? fucking everyone. you know how hard it is to be a nation. the horrors they have witnessed over and over again. give them a break!!!!!!!!!!! if i have to choose one, it's ned, but not because i thinks he needs one more than everyone else. i just really want to be in a blunt rotation with the netherlands, but i also know that would probably Kill Me Instantly.

[quiet-tech]

I saw the FNAF movie and didn't like it very much

I'm trying to put this old blog to use by putting down my thoughts on various media. Usually I would just send this to discord servers of my friends but now it's the universe's problem.

Of course, since now is the time that I've finally built the resolve to do this, the first thing I have to talk about is the Five Nights at Freddy's movie. Let me tell you, this was not what I expected to be talking about in 2023, but here we are.

To establish my credentials a little, I've been following the series basically since its inception, through lore/easter-egg hunting videos, as many youtube playthroughs as I could get my hands on, and of course, Matthew Patrick. By the time Pizzeria Simulator (that's FNAF 6 for those uninitiated) rolled around, I was thoroughly impressed by the overall quality of storytelling of the series, and was glad to see it reach a natural conclusion. I chose to ignore the existence of the books, spin-offs, remakes, and further sequels from Steel Wool; I had taken all I wanted from the series, and was ready to move on.

Imagine my surprise when the long-rumored movie, which I was almost sure had been canned in around 2018, was finally given a release date for 2023, 9 years after the series' debut and 6 years after I had moved on from my engagement with it. Given its rough production history (and "rough" feels like an understatement), I was only cautiously optimistic. Sure, this was a series I had at one point enjoyed, and which I thought had a genuinely compelling story to tell, but a movie this far past the expiration date for its hype seemed strange, especially as the franchise moved into new territory with Steel Wool's Security Breach.

Then, of course, the trailers. Listen, I love practical effects any day of the week, and the team's commitment to bringing the iconic animatronics to life was admirable. But, let's just say that the games spent so much effort hiding these things from you for a reason.

And, I think that's where we should start discussion of the film itself, so spoilers ahead: what does it bring to the table? After 9 years of sitting with the imagery and storytelling of FNAF, what has this movie decided to add, to embellish, to show in new lights, or to show in more gruesome, vivid detail than ever before? What does its expensive, high quality production bring to the table that the shoestring-budget games were never able to?

The answer is: basically nothing. The animatronics are just as stiff and lifeless as their jpegs in the games, the location is rendered beautifully but provides only what we already knew was there, and the acting is about on par with Scott Cawthon's own performances as the phone guy.

So, its essentially like playing that classic game all over again. What's the problem, then? The problem is that the games had their excuses: their budget, the one-man development team, and the limitations of their engine, things which the movie should've been able to avoid. But even more so than that, the games had other things to fall back on: atmosphere, effective tension-building, deep and engaging mysteries, and the innate heightening of fear that comes from being put into the situation yourself as a player. In each of these departments, the things which truly put FNAF on the map, the movie fails completely.

Now, some may complain about my wording here. "The animatronics are supposed to be a little goofy! They're not always supposed to be scary, otherwise they wouldn't really be good children's mascots!" And to that, fair point. There are moments in this film which truly highlight this aspect of the animatronic characters, where I actually bought into the idea that these were fun, engaging children's entertainers, and this is something the games never truly established. However, its when the movie flips that switch, when it tries to move into the actual horror, that it falls apart.

Like I mentioned, the practical props, as beautifully crafted as they are, simply are not filmed properly. Nothing in this movie even tries to turn the goofy cartoon character robots into something more sinister visually; no tricks of lighting or camera placement ever effectively communicate the horror of these massive death machines, and the cardboard acting of our main protagonist certainly doesn't help. When moving onscreen, they operate exclusively at a snail's pace; it's difficult to imagine them chasing a security guard down, let alone killing them once they caught up. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to imagine it; the movie shows a character moving at speed exactly once, and through so many flickering lights it's impossible to tell what exactly is happening. This is a pretty consistent aspect of the film: deaths happen, but never onscreen, and the more gruesome and spine-tingling elements of the narrative like unsolved murders, a serial killer on the loose, mutilated corpses, the actual crushing power of these giant animatronics, and even what they do with their victims, are merely alluded to. The phone call audio and "game over" screen from the first game does more to establish the actual threat of Freddy and the gang than any moment of this entire film, and these characters take up a substantial portion of the screen time. There were moments watching the characters "walk" menacingly across the screen where I swear it looked like oversized toys being moved up and down by a toddler's hand offscreen. And, the only attempt to make the robots appear more "evil" by *checks notes* giving them "angry eyebrows" falls completely flat.

The one success this movie manages (again, spoilers,) is Matthew Lillard as the main antagonist. By far the most competent performance, and the actual scariest costuming and character acting in the film (which unfortunately isn't saying much), the movie of course relegates him to about 4 minutes of total screen time, and only at the very beginning and very end of the film. For a shockingly long portion of the runtime, the writing fails to clearly establish the existence of a serial murderer to be afraid of, only for one character to exposit his misdeeds and terrible power to our hero about 10 minutes before he gets his comeuppance. And that moment is well executed; that is, if you already know the story of Five Nights at Freddy's, because the movie certainly doesn't have time to build him up for his knock-down. While it makes sense to focus more on the threat posed by the animatronics in your movie about murderous animatronics, it feels almost like a waste to include Lillard's character at all, only for him to reveal his evil plans (which appear to boil down to "I like killing people" unless again, you already have the context of the game series) before dying in the same scene.

To put it all as simply as I can: this movie is exactly what you are afraid it is: a mess created by talented people with good intentions, but a mess nonetheless, hung by its own overambition and commitment to an aesthetic that just isn't scary. To be honest, it isn't even the kind of mess worth studying; it's failures are obvious and the lessons it teaches are trivial. I walked away from the theater feeling disappointment, and not much else, which is the worst kind of condemnation I can provide.

If you are a fan of this franchise, or you yourself enjoy this film, all the more power to you. I only ask that you remember that things can be better. And if you are planning to see this film; don't. Just redownload the game, it's less than half a gigabyte.

Thanks for reading this far; feel free to let me know your own thoughts if you've got any. I'll try to explain anything I haven't already.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter - Monday, October 2

AIMEE MANN: Man, I hate playing vampire towns.

~~Sleeper~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Forego Empty Promises (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure crossover, T) by arcanedreamer

O Christmas Tree (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure crossover, G) by arcanedreamer

Jolyne and Buffy: Spirit Cousins (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure crossover, G) by arcanedreamer

Blowing Off Steam (Resident Evil crossover, T) by arcanedreamer

Swoon (Spike/Drusilla, T) by a_sort_of_friendly_ghost

Lover’s Walk: Lucidity (Spike/Joyce, E) by LoTJ

Passing Mistakes (Gen, T) by NAOA

everything in the world changes, and nothing changes at all (Spike/Buffy, R) by disco-tea

[Chaptered Fiction]

Presumably Dead Arm Chapter 15 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Tragic

A Marriage of Inconvenience Chapter 15 (Buffy/Spike, R) by all_choseny

Of Things That Would Never Be Chapter 55 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Blond Goth Girl

Surviving Together Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, Adult only) by ionlylikebadboys

Buffy's Spooky Birthday Chapter 25 (Buffy/Spike, R) by VeroNyxK84

Buffy's Spooky Birthday Chapter 25 (Buffy/Spike, R) by VeroNyxK84

What the Drabble? Chapter 14 (Buffy/Spike, R) by VeroNyxK84

I remember who you are Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Desicat

A Place in the Sun Chapter 24 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by honeygirl51885

Autumnal Shorts Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by VeroNyxK84

Vamp for Rent Chapter 3 (Spike/Xander, R) by forsaken2003

Lock the Door Chapter 2 (Faith/Buffy, T) by arcanedreamer

Meet & Greet Chapter 2 (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure crossover, G) by arcanedreamer

Kinktober 2023 Chapter 2 (Buffy/Giles, E) by Skyson

Post-Grave Chapter 1 (Buffy/Giles, Not rated) by Skylark62

[Image, Audio & Video]

Art: Faith by pocketsizedann

PODCAST: Normal Again S6 E17 (Buffy and the Art of Story Podcast) by lisalilly

[Reviews]

Spuffy, trauma and the Bathroom Scene by Flow

season 1 episode 4: teacher’s pet by slut-jpeg

season 1 episode 5: never kill a boy on the first date by slut-jpeg

[Fandom Discussions]

the incestuous, wrong connotations david fury is trying to implement between buffy and spike by silvermars

the amount of nasty thoughts i have about s4ats-s7btvs spangelus by fblckt

it would have been a better idea for Oz to also be gay by hermyohkneegranger

Spike and Harley Quinn are the same character by goodolreliablejake

Never forget that Buffy wanted her wedding photos to be taken at the cemetery by aphony-cree

Episode Battle: Goodbye Iowa vs Dirty Girls continued by multiple posters

Positives and Negatives - S6 continued by multiple posters

How Evil Was Spike? continued by multiple posters

Who did Angel hate? continued by multiple posters

FFH: Did Fred's Death Make An Impact?) by nightshade

How many seasons by Jakarisoolive

Are the later seasons shot with 4:3 in mind depsite also releasing in 16:9? by EgonHeart123part2

Random sad thought of the day by WhatName230

Favorite rivalries in the Buffyverse? by zmuda1234

Tabula Rasa - head cannon by johnnyorac

Gunn and Fred did what Tara did for Dawn with Connor by The810kid

I think I just traumatized my boyfriend by RaspberryMonkey5723

I would’ve loved to see Gwen and Angel as a couple by Sweet-Siren

XANDER - COMPLICATED OR BADLY WRITTEN by EstablishmentMost397

Thoughts on why Angel / Angelus seem so separated. (It's all about Dad and the religious upbringing) by greenisthefutureAMA

Can we talk about the Angel feeding off Buffy scene? by Hopeful_Routine8942

What’s a metaphor you think the show did really well with? by Anyanka_Tin

Buffy always questions popular expressions by Tsole96

Second time watchers- does it bug you how much they dumb buffy down? by Hopeful_Routine8942

Could this be the moment Angel stopped drinking human blood? by rfresa

Xander was an underrated hottie by Sweet-Siren

[Essay rec, French language] Buffy ou la révolte à coups de pieu, déconstruire le réel par le surnaturel by RadiKultMag

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

[therabbitsmuse]

one of my many ongoing projects is moving my favorite photos onto the Day One app. i haven't gone through my google photos in forever & came across SO many photos that I have loved & forgotten about. it's been a super tedious process but it's crazy how seeing a photo will allow you to dive right back into the past like it happened just yesterday. some findings during that process:

my life literally was 'eat, sleep, rave, repeat' for YEARS. but make 'eat' interchangeable with 'drink' lol. going through those memories felt like a rollercoaster. i felt like i wasn't in control of anything during that phase and could barely anticipate the next sudden drop in life. side note, seeing these photos reminded me of my godlike party stamina back then lol. sometimes i wish i still had it but i think it's gone for a good reason now lol

this is going to sound conceited as hell but DAYUM i looked GOOD! but I can remember clear as day my mindset back then when I took those photos -- how insecure i was, picking at every little thing. if i could go back in time, it would be to shake myself and be like, "girl, be more CONFIDENT. it shows when you're not! also, you look great." like how was i partying that much and sleeping so little and still looking decent? nowadays, if i have one late night a week, it fucking shows EVERYTHING hahaha. maybe this is what they mean to just enjoy your youth because everything that you were worried about back then really isn't going to matter in the future/never existed anywhere but in your own head.

oh, my friends from that era. i remember how great of a time we had together. and i also am very aware that at this point in present-day time, we're more like acquaintances now. it's been years since I've seen some of them or even longer since we've had deep conversations. i'm trying to not romanticize that time period since I'm all up in my feels but i do have the urge to jump back into it like old times. except those days don't exist anymore.

despite the thousands of photos I'm going through, i wish i took more photos!!! I have a lot of shitty photos because I didn't want to bother with taking an extra minute or two to try to take something with a better composition. plus the cameras on phones back then were so bad (looking at my edc 2013 videos LMFAO). it was more about 'just be there in the moment'. but now, 10 years later, my dusty ass brain cannot recall a lot of it LOL. i really thought some crusty 10-second snapchat was enough because at that time, i never thought i would look back on those videos years into the future. and wish i had more of them, shitty quality and all.

& going off of that, during 2016 edc, my bf at the time invited four girls from taiwan to come with us. we lowkey made fun of them the whole time because they were so insistent on taking photos every hour or so. at some point, my bf was like, "STOP TAKING PHOTOS, PUT THAT AWAY, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU GUYS TAKE ANOTHER SELFIE!" but in retrospect, they did take some cute ass photos! like I've gone to 6 EDC's at this point i don't even have a single photo of myself overlooking kinetic field. i had some cute photos with people i no longer speak to and would hopefully never see again lmao. I've tried cropping them out but it's still just tainted shit and blurry low-quality jpegs haha. nothing with just me.

[side note, i just talked to my ex whom i mentioned in the previous bullet in the middle of writing this. i basically told him everything i just said about wishing I had taken more photos back then and he's like, "hah yeah, i do wish we had taken more photos then, the fobs were right" LOLLL]

I'm still pretty shy about taking my camera out and taking photos because i don't want to be that friend who makes people wait before they can eat their food lol but i think i can find other moments where i can take pics~ i really wish i had taken the coolpix i had in college around to events.

basically I'm gonna make sure there's no shortage of good photos of my 30's and I'm also going to try to note down memories with each collage because there's so much shit i forget about after a week goes on and they're just lost forever

[monriatitans]

Ta-Da! List: Thursday, June 13th

The image was made in Canva; check it out at the [referral] link here!

I share my “Ta-Da! List” every day so everyone gets a daily update and I have a reminder of what I’ve accomplished.

To learn more about “Ta-Da! Lists”, and other ADHD life hacks, check out @adhdjesse’s book Extra Focus: The Quick Start Guide to Adult ADHD.

Abbreviations

- O&T: Opinions & Truth Blog - NRL: The Neverending Reading List - WGS: The Weekend Game Show - COTMQ: Cause of the Month Quote - IG: Instagram - BMAC: Buy Me a Coffee - TDL: Ta-Da! List

Ta-Da! List

✧ throughout the day: - kept emails manageable - loaded the dishwasher - filled out today’s TDL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ on the mobile phone: - IG/Hive: shared today’s NRLs - Personal: began going through and deleting some of the photos taken during the mini-vacation

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ on the bedroom setup: - Movies: watched “The Nightmare Before Christmas”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ on the office setup: - O&T: shared the NRLs, “The Affinity Between Us”, “The Bonds We Share”, and “Our Divine Ruin”, by Melissa Sweeney, on social media; updated the image in the NRL pages/posts on O&T, BMAC, and Tumblr; added a link to Goodreads and Rumble to the “Social Icons” widget, then rearranged the order of the links; finished adding the dates the posts were shared to the NRL Page; shared today’s TDL to various social media - WGS: finished removing the COTMQs from the O&T IG; removed the IG and/or Threads sections from O&T’s “January 2024 COTMQs”, “February 2024 COTMQs”, “March 2024 COTMQs”, “April 2024 COTMQs”, and “May 2024 COTMQs” posts - Personal: used Patreon rewards to make desktop wallpapers for PERSONAL use - Branding: in Canva, updated the “WGS Email Signature” - Gaming: played “Final Fantasy XIV” - YouTube: watched, listened to, and/or finished: 1. Philosophy Tube’s videos “What Was Liberalism? #5 Your Comments”, “Intro to Hegel (& Progressive Politics)”, “African Philosophy & the Enlightenment”, “Flat Earth OR Why Do People Reject Science?”, “What is Solitary Confinement Like?”, “Climate Grief”, “Healthcare, Ethics, & Postmodernism”, and “Intro to Plato” 2. ContraPoints’ videos “The Apocalypse”, “The West”, “Pronouns”, “Voting”, and “The Darkness” 3. Jim Sterling (The Jimquisition)’s videos “Why Crazy Taxi Needs To Shut Up And Pacific Drive”, “Life Is Strange And The REAL Virtue Signalling”, “The Hypocritical Wokeness Of Ubisoft”, “Screw Steam”, “Nintendo Fans Love To Troll Themselves”, “That Time The Last Of Us Part 2 Was Compared To Schindler’s List”, “Company Gave To Charity? Company Good Now!”, “Solemn JPEGs Of The Backhanded Brands”, “Quadrubisoft’s Quadruple-A Quadswallop”, “Why Emulating Nintendo Games Is Good, Probably”, and “The ‘CD’ Stands For ‘Crunching Developers’”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ chores and miscellaneous: - Food: had coffee and cereal for breakfast; had leftover hamburgers for lunch; cooked EatingWell’s “Chunky Cheeseburger Soup” recipe for dinner, and had cereal - Chores: started, then unloaded the dishwasher; checked the mail; swept the kitchen

—

Well, these are all the updates I had for today! Thank you for reading!

May every decision you make be *in the spirit of fairness* and may the rest of your day *NOT go to $#!7*!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enjoy what I do? Please consider supporting via Buy Me a Coffee (BMAC)! Like what you see and want to know when there’s more? Click here to subscribe for updates and/or hit the Follow button! This post contains affiliate links.

Watch MonriaTitans on Twitch, YouTube, and Rumble! For more about MonriaTitans, click here!

[aliasl]

ok, I've been tagged in this enough times that i've finally read everything and feel like responding

FIRST, I admire your passion, @osakanone. But I'd advise you redirect that passion to enjoyment and not competition.

I DON'T want to insult you, but I'll just say: you seem young. The demographic you are counting as "shippers," and thus the units you are measuring popularity of the aforementioned ships by, are fanfic writers. It gives you numbers to work with, but it's not fair to say that the number of fics directly relates to number of fans of a ship. Writing is a huge undertaking that not every ship enjoyer undertakes, and not only that, it's a strange metric to focus on - what about fan art? What about DOUJINSHI???

Gundam, as a Japanese property, has its own unique fandom ecosystem. I'm an American who's been an anime fan a loooooong time, and I don't know all the ins and outs, but fanfiction doesn't seem to be a popular medium there. Rather, doujin is king.

And let's talk about fan works... Why do they exist? Because, despite how much you enjoy a piece of media, you see something missing. You don't transcribe a show when you write fanfic. It's a creative process. Talking about doujin - a visible, money-making part of fandom - that's an easy way for a mangaka/creator to see the popularity of their work; rather than a census (like Shonen Jump will do a weekly popularity quiz), you have Comiket. And so, Yoshiyuki Tomino rightly points out the fujos as the true, passionate fanbase - the fellow creators, not just the consumers who buy toys. But why do "fujoshi" exist? These "rotten women"? Because they see gay love where a homophobic, majority straight audience (by which I mean society) refuse to. And we won't get into a conversation about "fetishizing homosexuality" and "authorial intent." Maybe Tomino would have included explicit gay representation in his shows if he could, but... we all know that Gundam is not that.

Thus all the gay fanworks, in which fans make up for what canon lacks. And you probably don't all ship the same ships. Or agree on characterization. And anyway, "The work of many artists, designers, writers, even videos of events are just lost media because we didn't have the archival mentality adults develop" ....... When I was a teenager, I was saving jpegs of my fav yaois to my PC en masse. Archival ain't just an adult mindset; shipping isn't majority teenagers. If even the creators of fan works aren't holding onto their work and reuploading on modern, supported sites... that speaks to a lack of care, not just a lack of foresight.

FFN went to adult fanfiction.net or live journal or ao3, and it was up to the authors to transfer their works themselves (you DO NOT reupload someone else's work FOR THEM). So if they didn't... it was they who moved on. REITERATING AGAIN: the number of fanfics does not equal the number of shippers (and not just because one author could be uploading a hundred fics of the same pair - it's just not a direct measurement), but it was an easy number to point to when *checks notes ... can't find it, has to Google* "Sulemio" was pitted against Destiel.

Gundam Witch Mercury premiered in 2022!! Destiel became a ship in 2008!!!!!! With all due respect, it was not a fair fight nor is a Tumblr poll an accurate census. "urgh this is just a trend tumblr will get over it and go back to supernatural" I certainly have. I never got around to watching this Gundam show, though I've heard a bit about it - only great things. Meanwhile, I am still obsessing over Supernatural (and particularly Destiel) four years after the show ended, and over a decade since I started watching the show. I don't expect everyone to share my obsession. Tumblr may be the destiel site, but no one is enforcing ship supremacy.

It was a bad idea to start a fight over ships to begin with! Again, "Sulemio" has existed 2 years; Destiel has existed 16!!! It's just basic respect for legacy. You think I ship Spirk?? No. I never got into Star Trek. I don't find Shatner and Nemoy attractive or compelling, personally. But do I go kick the hornet's nest? No. This has transformed two molehills into an ugly mountain. Now, you're casting aspersions like Destiel shippers are "waspy Americans." As though it isn't also a global phenomenon (which just isn't impressive these days, with the internet. What ISN'T a global phenomenon?). Spn also has a female majority audience. We are not so different. Only in size.

So can we not make this about race? Or ethnicity? Or country? Or men vs women? Let's just not insult entire fanbases! You don't make yourself big by trying to make others feel small.

P.S. I never heard of Yukio Mishima before, but reading the Wikipedia page on his Forbidden Color book, without much context... why are we upholding misogynist, infidelious gays as great gay storytelling? You know the root of homophobia is male misogyny. All my homies hate gay misogynists.

tldr; nature is NOT healing. same shit, different day. there'll be peace when we are done, which is how you know we ain't done yet 🙄 😒

UPDATE: The Destiel/Supernats aren't taking this well -- explaining my reasoning for the history I gave, and why Destiel is not the big bitch of shipping that it thinks it is

An update to THIS:

"This is just a marketing thing, Gundam is a giant robot show, only men watch it!"

Gundam's fandom is silent majoratively feminine:

"But its not gay, its about giant robots!"

Gundam is very gay. The entire climax of the first story is a riff of Yukio Mishima lmao

The climax of the Amuro/Char arc of Universal Century Gundam (expounding from first Gundam circa 1979), Char's Counterattack is somewhat on the history of Japanese disillusion with liberalism which notably climaxed with the life and history of Yukio Mishima.

You know. THAT Yukio Mishima.

The one who wrote FORBIDDEN COLOURS.

It was so gay that the fanfiction inspired by it became its own damn anime:

And that's just Charmuro, let alone Charma or a billion other ships just in OG Gundam alone.

We've got This is before we get to Guin Sard Lineford and Yamagi Glimerton (both verrrrry gay), Tieria Erde (a genderqueer trans-coded character who transcends gender entirely in their arc) and a bunch of others.

Gundam was always gay.

"I don't see the numbers"

"That doesn't seem like much, Supernat is at least 2x this"

Sooooo the amount of content you do see isn't representative of how much even got written, given FFN had a huge content purge.

First, let's start with the relative proportion of users: If we're analysing the concept of fandom, we first have to look at who had access to the internet in the first place to publish works.

Yeah that's a pretty sizable difference.

Wing's fandom actually exploded in 2000, but got capped VERY early, distributing itself to fansites when FFN fragmented and collapsed.

Why?

Content purges!

"Isn't there some sort of online archive of this stuff?"

Sure, if you wanna dig through tons and tons of Angelfire and Geocities pages which have mostly disappeared. Otherwise, no! There is no archive of this stuff?

"Why?"

They've since rolled back on this but it means there's a massive amount of lost media out there, including the discussions on it and thus there's an entire history you didn't get to experience.

Its actually very difficult to reach people who've been involved, since it was so long ago that very few people remember, and a sizable proportion of that population have actually died.

"But what about SF fandoms? We have ancient records of stuff like Spirk!"

See unlike physical media like zines, when a server goes offline or there's a data-loss, or something like that there is no surviving copy of the thing in question.

The net result is we have this weird hole where content just vanished, and its now considered lost media. The work of many artists, designers, writers, even videos of events are just lost media because we didn't have the archival mentality adults develop.

You're not gonna hear about all the X-Files stuff or Frasier fanfictions or GW stuff because of these purges and the lack of physical media. FFN users were teens, not adults with resources like US/EU/JP SF fans, who had archival tendencies due to their long history.

So there is this supermassive black-hole in the history of fanfiction running between 1998, and 2008 and some of the only evidence of it are worksafe works and fansites which the owners have long since forgotten about because folks moved on. Moving on is a normal part of fandom.

So to those of you just saying "supernatural is losing to a pair of dumb anime girls" or "urgh this is just a trend tumblr will get over it and go back to supernatural"...

Uhhhhh no they won't, actually?

Supernat's fans mostly seem to be waspy Americans. Gundam is kind of a global phenomenon, one which has traditionally had a silent majority female audience, a vocal minority male audience -- and every time that majority has spoken up, its coincided with a content purge, or a TOS change that mysteriously biases American derived fiction over Japanese derived fiction.

Funny that.

tl;dr:

NATURE IS HEALING

[melissa-s23]

Yo,

1. Job markets ass, when using 3rd party job sites like indeed never apply on the app itself! Go to the source, find the actual job posting. Write a cover letter….. yea I know it’s tragic but it’s a good boost. There’s templates on google but I think the general formula is one paragraph expressing interest, body about your qualifications (basically regurgitate your resume, squeeze in key terms specific to the job) final paragraph can be a quick little personal tid bit but usually it’s a send off. Make sure everything is a live file!!! No! Jpegs!!!!!

If you’re still in school, network. I did not do this and I probably should have

2. Girlie pop if you go out to eat at all highly recommend taking as many left overs as possible and repurposing them. For now, bread, butter, cinnamon, sugar. Toast the bread till gold, spread butter, add sugar and cinnamon,A treat. (Separate)Fry an egg on the bread. Add avocado to be basic for fun!pepper flakes for spice. When I was in college I used to eat dried cereal and watch fancy YouTube food video so I could trick my brain into thinking I was eating something real lol.

3. :-( your relationship post made me sad. I’m sorry. You need more media that frames the woman as a person rather than a prop! I know the feeling 😩 being ace puts you in a weird spot sometimes….but remember you are more than the media you and others consume! Also that last part……girlie watch the the soccer cannibalism show get on that RN!!!!! (Yellowjackets go watch Yellowjackets it’s flawed but it’s about flawed women outside the male gaze)

It’ll be ok lol, most things are temporary.

-ghost anon

Hey, thank you for this very kind message! I didn't expect such a quick and constructive response, thank you!

1: I don't know how you figured out I am looking for a job, but as of last week you are absolutely correct! The telepath allegations are not beaten today fjzkrkv

Thanks for the advice! And yeah, I need to send mails and phone calls and it's TIRING but eh, we roll.

2: This is very clever, and that cinamon one I'll definitetly keep in mind. Cooking is definitely an area im lacking in and improvising meal is not something I do easily, so having 3 to 4 'meals' for when you have 0 spoons for cooking is deffo something that will be useful to me. Cinammon toast!

3: yeah, i wrote this post while tired and frustrated. Thankfully the tides are changing at least a bit in that regard and we are seeing more variety. Still, I hope we get more shows where the friendship is front and center and challenged and explored a- I LIKE FRIENDSHIPS!! I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE ARE FRIEND AND FIND MEANING IN THAT TITLE!! Anyway yeah, It's good to remember real life very much isn't like medias. People are good, and we gotta believe in that.

(And ooh, I might check it out then! Thanks for the rec!)

[linusbenjamin]

Can you give me the simplest explaintion on how to make gifs. It’s literally 2022 and I’ve no clue lol

Hi! Hope you're doing great :) Hahah there's nothing wrong with that, I personally don't think learning to make gifs is something you'll regret being late for :D First off, I don’t think I can explain it simply, this is a complex process that requires constant practice. When I started making gifs again after 5 years, I realized that I actually knew nothing and I was never open to learning at that time. Now I’m constantly exploring every feature in Photoshop and reading blogger's tutorials on coloring and various other features to improve myself. I also will try to explain this process but if you want, you can check out this amazing tutorial made by one of my very dear mutual Nia <3

First you need to download Photoshop (I use CS5, I tried CS6 but not my type), you can buy it if you can, but here in my country, it's extremely expensive, so I downloaded it from t*rrent with a crack. Then you need to install MPV video player to take screencaps from videos (MPV is literally the best video player I’ve ever seen in my life when I started giffing again, like, it’s not just for giffing but other stuff as well ‘cause you can adjust it as you wish) Here’s a tutorial from this precious person I’ve never met (x) You download the first link (x) then you install it and you create a config folder (you can make as you wish but here’s mine x,) Also you can change jpeg to png if your pc doesn’t crash like mine :D

You need to download HQ videos if you want HQ gifs. I again use t*rrent to download videos, and after setting up and creating a folder for MPV player, you can start taking screencaps. As I said, screencaps are saved in a folder called “Stuff” in my PC, you can create a folder with a different name if you want but make sure to change it in config file too. After taking screencaps, open Photoshop and go to File > Script > Load Multiple DICOM Files. 

I take multiple screencaps of multiple scenes and I create folders where I put these screencaps to put them in order. Here, there are lots of screencaps in my folders, I choose the folder with the scenes I want to gif and open it. By the way, Tumblr gif sizes are:

You select Window > Animations. Animation section pop up at the bottom. Now everything should look like this:

And then you should select all frames to change the speed of gifs.

After converting the frames below to timeline, select all layers on the right side and right click > Convert To Smart Object. Now everything should look like this:

Crop the gif from the edges and zoom in 100%. Select Filter > Sharpen > Smart Sharpen. These are basic sharpen settings that everyone uses. I also add Unsharp Mask before that, you have to practice these things to find out what’s best for you.

Also there’s something called Actions to make things much more easier and quicker. You record and save some steps when you’re making a gif and later you can just click it and it does everything for you, it’s literally God’s blessing. Select Window > Actions, and it should appear on the right side.

As you can see, I have various actions for various steps which saves me from 15 minutes. After that, we colour the gif.

For this gif > Brightness: 80 / Contrast: 10 > Levels: First box = 10 / Last box = 230 > Selective Colour: Reds = +15 -3 -5 +5 / Yellows = +5 0 -5 -5 / Blacks = 0 0 0 +5 > Brightness (again): +15 > Colour Balance (lastly): Midtones = -5 +3 +3

And yay, we’re done with this part! Now you select File > Save for Web Devices. (or Alt+Shift+Ctrl+S, so fun to do this) My settings and my gif looks like this.

You should select Adaptive always, and I personally love Pattern but you can also select Diffusion. (that’s what most people do to reduce MB size ‘cause it should be under 10 MB) But my work hasn’t finished yet. I open the gif again because Photoshop somehow changes the speed of gif from 0.05 to 0.07 so I should change it to 0.05 again. (I searched every single forum to find the answer but nothing) I do one more Save for Web Devices and yay I’m done!!! It’s complicated and tiring, isn’t it but once you figure it out, it’s so fun and easier <3 Here’s my gif:

Well, colouring looks like shit but this isn’t the case... That’s pretty much it, I really wanted to explain it simply but it’d be literally impossible :D If you have any questions, feel free to ask :) Have a good day.

[kerasines]

GIF Tutorial for Beginners

People keep asking me to teach them how to make gifs and I end up writing them long confusing messages, so I figured maybe it’s time to just write up an actual clean tutorial instead! This is supposed to be for total beginners! (Or people who want to switch to a new process that I’ve curated and streamlined over 8 years of making gifs.) I’ll try to keep this as barebones as possible, and won’t include all the advanced stuff I usually add. I hope it’s easy enough to follow, and I’ll include some links at the end for more stuff. I really do think it’s better to make a few simple gifs before doing more complicated stuff though, just to get used to it!

There will be three sections in this tutorial: #1 Basics - How to make a gif in PS at all #2 Sharpen - How to use sharpen/denoise filters in an easy way #3 Colouring - Just a few very basic adjustment layers

What you need:

A video (most common formats should work, although .mkv doesn’t always)

Photoshop (I use PS CC 2018 - this one because I'm morally opposed to Adobe’s subscription model - but versions aren’t super different from each other)

In the end, you should hopefully be able to make something like this:

This is gonna be so long. Sorry. You can make a gif with just part #1! The rest is just to make it look better.

#1 Basics

If any of the tools/functions aren’t where they should be for you, your best bet is googling it, you might need to change something in your preferences!

Make sure to save your PS file... often. PS has a tendency to crash, especially on laptops.

First, you need to get the video file. I recommend a shorter video, a few minutes long, if it’s longer you might want to cut it into shorter parts beforehand. This is just because PS’s video import tool sucks.

I chose the Butter MV, specifically Jungkook’s body roll at 1:24 because that’s what I want to look at for the duration of this tutorial. No further questions, thanks.

1. Open PS, go to File > Import > Video Frames to Layers

2. In the little pop-up, choose the part of the video that you want to gif. This will import every frame of the video into PS as a layer, so it has to be a relatively short part, or it’ll take ages (and gifs can’t be that big anyway). Now you can also see why it’s almost impossible to select the correct part if the video is too long.

The little controls at the bottom are for trimming, the one in the middle just for the preview. Make sure “Make Frame Animation” is selected! Then click OK.

3. Now you have your layers, and you have a frame animation! On the right are your layers, that’s where we’ll apply the colouring etc. later on. On the bottom, that’s your timeline or frame animation - that’s what the gif will be in the end! So if you delete frames, the layers will still be there, but they won’t show up in the gif. If you click on a frame, you can see the little eye checkmark on the layer that’s currently visible.

4. The timeline controls at the bottom that are relevant right now: set to “forever” so the gif will loop, you can play the animation with the play button, and you can delete the selected frame(s). The number on each frame is the speed of the gif, depending on the video I usually set it to 0.05 or 0.06 (photoshop lies to you when you play the animation, the only way to test this is to open the finished gif, preferably on tumblr or wherever you want to upload it).

5. As you can see, the animation starts a bit before the actual part that I want, so go ahead and delete all the frames in the animation that you don’t want! You can delete the corresponding layers too if you want, to make the PS file smaller, but it has no influence on the gif. (Hold Shift to select multiple frames as usual)

6. Next, we’re gonna crop the gif however we want! You can do this with the crop tool in the left sidebar, but with gifs like this where there’s a lot of moving parts, I sometimes just use the selection tool in the left sidebar, like so:

When you click on different frames, the selection stays, and you can check to make sure Jungkook doesn’t suddenly go out of frame if you crop it like that!

At this point, make sure the selection/crop isn’t smaller than you want the gif to be! For tumblr, what matters is the width (in pixels) of gifs. In the end, the width dimensions on tumblr should be 540px (1 gif per row), 268px (2 gifs per row), or 177/178px (3 gifs per row). Anything else will lead to very shitty resizing!

For this gif I’m going full sized, meaning 540px wide, so I made sure my selection isn’t smaller than that.

Then just go to Image > Crop, and it’s done!

7. Check to see if this is what you want, then resize: go to Image > Image Size to resize the picture. Make sure the little “link” between Width and Height is active (to keep the same aspect ratio), then set the width to 540px or whatever you chose. I always set the resample option to Bicubic.

Once that’s done, set the zoom to 100% right above the timeline, to see what it really looks like.

Almost done! A little note about the sizing: width is the important part for tumblr, but if you want to make a whole gif set (especially with more than 1 gif per row!!!) make sure to make all the gifs the same height, otherwise they won’t line up and tumblr will do whatever it wants.

I ended up making mine 540 x 400 and ended up with this:

8. Time to save the gif!! Go to File > Export > Save for Web (OR just use the shortcut Ctrl + Shift + Alt + S) (or whatever it is on Mac).

In the pop-up, you can change things about the gif, but most things should already be the way you want it (Image size, Looping option forever). Selective should be the default, just like the rest.

You can choose between Pattern and Diffusion, some gif makers swear on one or the other, I go back and forth.

On the bottom left, you can see the size of your gif. Keep an eye on that! I believe Tumblr allows every single gif to be up to 10mb, but I try to keep mine under 5mb or close to it, because I think tumblr adds compression if it gets closer to 10mb?? Anyway back in my day you couldn’t upload anything over 1mb. You’ll never know our struggles.

Then just save it, and that’s it, you made a gif! Well done!! Here’s the end result:

:)

#2 Sharpen

There are countless ways out there to make gifs as smooth and clean as possible! Here I’ll show you the easiest way, but it also provides a good basis for other methods. The main difficulty is that you you need to sharpen the layers, but you don’t want to 100 layers one by one. So what we’re gonna do is convert the layers into a Smart Object, which functions as one layer!

1. Convert the frame animation timeline to a video timeline with the little button right underneath on the left:

It should look like this, and I’m sorry but I can’t explain this one because I’m not an expert here, but you can just ignore it:

2. Select all layers: Select > All Layers, or just manually. 

Then right click on the layers > Convert to Smart Object. Now there’s only one layer left, but don’t worry, the frames are still there!

3. De-noise! It reduces noise, takes away some of that grain. More necessary in some videos. It also makes it less sharp, so I do this one first. Filter > Noise > Reduce Noise

My default settings are, Strength: 6, Preserve Details: 60, Reduce Color Noise: 45, Sharpen Details: 25, Remove JPEG Artifact: No. But you can play around, especially with the strength, and see how the little preview looks. Don’t apply too much of it! Or it will look weirdly smooth with no details in the end.

4. File > Sharpen > Smart Sharpen. 

Settings: I usually have mine at Amount: 500, Reduce Noise: 5, and Radius at either 0.2 or 0.3, depending on the video. I’ll actually do 0.3 here, because I find it a bit blurry otherwise. If you sharpen more, it can quickly get grainy.

The difference isn’t huge, but here’s a little before and after denoise & sharpen:

5. Technically you can just save it as a gif (save for web) as shown above now, or you can convert it back to a frame animation, which I’d recommend especially if you use certain other sharpening methods (I’ll show you how to convert it back at the end of the colouring part), but for now, let’s go straight to the next part:

#3 Colouring

Now, you CAN do this part right after part #1, still in frame animation, without a smart object. I prefer it like this because sometimes PS acts weird, but if you want to skip the smart object stuff: select all frames, and add the adjustment layers at the very top, above all the other layers. (It only affects selected frames; and it only affects the layers under it.)

The adjustment layers should be above the layer tray, and these are the ones we’ll use today: Brightness/Contrast, Curves, Vibrance, Color Balance, Selective Color.

All of these are optional! You can do one, or all, or any combination. This is just the very most basic for me to get a gif to a point that I like. I’d recommend sticking to these for a start, but once you get the hang of it, definitely feel free to play around! It’s fun! Every gif maker has different preferences here, too, so there’s tutorials for everything.

1. Curves: Just click Auto, tbh. You can play around, but Auto works fine for me as a start, just to brighten or darken some parts as a base.

2. Brightness/Contrast: Usually videos are a bit dark, and contrast can help to make it seem sharper AND cut down on gif size, so I usually just up both of them a bit (but not too much! Or it’ll look cheap). Here I put them at B: 19, C: 23

3. Vibrance: I love very vibrant and colourful gifs, so I usually up the vibrance (and sometimes the saturation). This one is already very vibrant, so I only put +5, but if you try to colour, say, a very moody tv show, this can help wonders, especially if you want to work with the colours more later.

If you prefer less vibrant gifs, you can also lower the values here!

4. Color Balance: getting a bit more complicated now. Often, videos will have a slight yellow or green or blue tint, and this is where you can correct that. This video is a bit yellow, so I added +17 Blue. It was still too warm, so i added -11 Cyan as well. This neutralized the yellow tint, but I wanted some of the reddish tone back, so I added -5 Magenta. I usually do a similar process like that, depending on the tone. 

Instead of Midtones, you can also do this for Shadows and Highlights individually.

5. Selective Color: now this is the most complicated, but also the most fun to play around in my opinion! Be careful here, if you do something too extreme it’ll look like shit or make the gif super grainy. I some rough goals in mind here: make the blue hair as blue as possible, make their skin tone a bit less pale, and enhance the black and white (which I always do).

You choose a colour at the top, and then add or subtract cyan/magenta/yellow/black values for that colour.

Skin tone: yellow and red. For this gif, I just added black to both, making them darker. Sometimes, if you change one or both those colours for a different part of the gif (for example, if I wanted to make the background less yellow, I’d subtract yellow from the yellows - but then I’d add yellow to the reds, to make the skin tone natural again.)

Blue hair: Just ramp up the cyan for the blues. Be careful with putting anything to +100, but here it’s already so bright that it should be fine. His roots are more purple, so I changed the magentas by adding cyan and black, and subtracting magenta and yellow. It’s not super clean, but fine for our purposes.

Black/white: depending on the gif, I often either add or subtract black to the whites. Adding makes the highlights less blinding, a bit darker, and flatter (I like to do that if one side of the face is bright white in the sunlight, for example). Subtracting creates contrast, makes it brighter, can wash it out. It can also lessen the gif size, and here it’s mostly just the tracksuit instead of important details, so I subtracted black. For the blacks, I almost always just add a bit of black, to make it more intense. Just like adding contrast, this can make the gif seem sharper and less grainy.

And done! 

6. You could just save it as gif now, but as I said, I prefer to convert it back to frame animation timeline first, if only because I like to let it play through before I save it, and it works better for me there than in the video timeline.

Select all frames, then click the little menu on the top right of the video timeline > Convert Frames > Flatten Frames into Clips

7. When you scroll down to the bottom of the layers now, the old smart object + adjustment layers should be at the bottom, under all the new layers. Delete the old ones, we don’t need them anymore.

8. Convert the timeline back to frame animation, by clicking the little button at the bottom left of the video timeline:

9. Click on the menu top right of the timeline again > Make Frames from Layers

10. Now, just some potential cleaning left to do. Sometimes, there’s a doubled or empty frame or layer at the beginning or end, just delete those as necessary. The timing of the frames is probably off, too, just select all frames and set the delay time to 0.05 (or whatever).

Now your done! Save as gif, and you should get this:

I included some bonus links and tips after this but tumblr ate that whole part so I guess it’s going into a separate post. (Here is is)

Anyway, I tried to make this as easy to follow as possible for beginners, but feel free to send me an ask for clarification anytime. Hope this helps, now go make gifs and have fun!!