#this took over my christmas season too I haven’t watched a christmas movie in so long lmaoooo | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

charlie-grusin · 2 months ago

Text

Salem's Lot (2024) : Movietalk # 01

It’s not a good day to be a Red Sox fan.

It’s also October, the annual all-month-long midnight hour where all the beasts and ghouls and demo-goblins rise from their tombs and take it to the streets (jumping from fences with spidery claws, snarling through twisted snouts and even gnarlier rows of teeth, creeping at every corner in shadowy white fabrics just to slip away from sight, always looking (always watching) across the blocks (watching you) with round, wide, bulging-from-the-stocks-and-blazing-red eyes (I gotta tell you my name is Stevie / What's yours, baybee...!?)). It’s the month of caramel apples and cotton candy cobwebs, of plastic skeletons and rubber fang six-packs; the month where it’s absolutely positively illegal not to be scared out your socks lest you be trialed with the worm-n-roaches trick in the box; it’s the Christmas better than Christmas – it’s truer, more honest, more immediate to the human condition and lacks any further need for indoctrination – and it’s especially better than the month that follows which is often where the real monsters reside (the ones who adorn masks and three-piece suits too real in its wrinkles than in their truths, who weld inhuman values like bloodthirsty cleavers and swear they haven’t harmed a soul in their life though their viscera-garnished root cellars may prove otherwise). If all the years could end with Halloween Night as its climax then maybe (and perhaps without a doubt) the world could be a kinder, more understandable source of light and proof of goodness in this void of a careless placid universe. I am of the sincere belief that Halloween and Day of the Dead are humanist holidays: for all their collective frights and gaffs and initially grim danse macabres they are at their ends the most humbling and comfortable of traditions: it’s true that No One Lives Forever, but we must love the kindnesses who have left us and love the ones we still have yet in equal measure. It will do no good to stay strangers.

And yet, even as I saddled up to watch this latest rendition of maestro Stephen King’s soap opera bloodfe(a)st which was shamelessly cast adrift to fair the non-accountable oceans of streaming and direct-to-digital at the preluding dawn of this finest of seasons, I found myself feeling more anxious in discovering The Moment than the vampires to come: The Moment when the murderous armchair knucklebobb-ed overlords over at Warner Bros. Discovery decided to give this seemingly troublesome production a slim mercy of a release over at HBO Max rather than making it the latest in another tax write-off killing spree (a fate still likely forthcoming, by the way – after all, to them mercy is for the meek and pathetic). I don’t know whether I did come across That Moment in the viewing (and honestly I don’t think I ever wanna know), but it did take about forty minutes in to realize why they could’ve been so decisive; I may not be close to The Reasons (maybe it’s really just because that new Joker movie was too hot of a number to be mixing around the plates with some deprioritized Spooktober leftovers), but it’s the feeling – the possibility that I could’ve been right on the money about what the upperhead corporates had fuzzed about through those corrugated meat-pans of theirs – that frightened me more than whatever Mr. Barlow considers “fine dining”.

The major hurdle Warner Bros. had confronted when adapting 'Salem's Lot for the first time was whether or not the hefty tome (hefty in those pre-Stand, pre-Dark Tower days, mind) could be properly downsized as a two-hour motion picture; heavy notables like Larry Cohen and Stirling Silliphant took first-draft swings at the material but none had ever Got It packed down tight enough to keep its major juices intact, and like an aspiring misplaced youth tearing up the play turf after a few bad passes at the tryouts, the project had sulked off to another medium – that fortunately being the miniseries, which at the time was picking up iron-hot momentum with major production works such as Alex Haley’s Roots and Franco Zeffirelli’s Jesus of Nazareth having already made a strong (and considerably) lasting impression with the networks. Two hours was a no-go, but at least a three-hour window could cast your net wide enough (good enough) to reel in much of the story’s essences for the taking. I have yet to see whether its international theatrical re-edit managed to maintain those essences even further, but it honestly doesn’t look so good when this rendition proves why 2004 chose well to heed ‘79’s advice.

Almost nothing about Salem’s Lot (2024) leaves any real impression: the characters are blips who barely register on the screen if only because they share the same names and traits of their more intriguing on-the-page counterparts; the plot beats come off more as plot thuds with the same intensity as your next door neighbors trying to move a new addition of furniture upstairs (swears, curses, the whole fucking thing); and whatever interesting new twists and ideas it offers on this occasion ultimately ring flat and dull due to a lack of meat on its bones to carry any real significance. Whatever you want to say about the It duology (and I might very well agree with most of them), at least they gave most of their characters (the ones most cared for, that is) some ounce of meaning and purpose – at least they had their own dynamics and depths to make them both relevant and believable to the story so that even while Pennywise’s haunted cart-ride schtick wears thin (and that shit wears quick), you’re still at the very least compelled enough in whether they’ll manage to shake out of this one scot-free; given that ‘Salem’s Lot is by and large a leading template for much of Stephen King’s other great works (whether it be IT, The Stand, Needful Things, Desperation, or even more out-there tomes (ha!) like The Tommyknockers and Under the Dome), it’s no surprise to find in the loose heroic ensemble of the Lot (Ben Mears, the Nortons, Mr. Burke, Mark Petrie and Father Callahan) a prototype to the more tightly-knit fighters from the likes of the Losers’ Club, the surviving flocks of Mother Abigail, and even all the way down to that greatest of gunslinging Ka-tets – yet it’s incredibly strange that while Gary Dauberman went so far as to make the Lot’s remaining good folk a more explicitly laid-out vampire hunting team (lending the film its iconographic all-for-the-posters moment of the posse facing Marsten House as if it was the House on Neibolt Street), he never instills them with any kind of living momentum that he once allowed in unequal measures with the It duology – instead the writing seems to have taken two-three steps back to a point where much of the dialogue stands so stiff and awkward and over-reliant on the expository that the characters can’t help but act like archaic questionnaire programs delivering each other command prompts.

Usually we tend to be conscious of this when we (the aspiring writers of the world, for we are legion) try to write our own works, not when we’re hearing/seeing it from others (and especially not when it’s baked so deep in a completed work it’s got its own food texture) and while you could easily argue that all stories – when obliterated down to their most structural technicality by way of the atom bomb – are merely informational exchanges with occasional endpoints, I also think (in all my humble naivety) that aside from that being as insightful of a viewpoint as any held to the heart by your local semi-professional-of-the-trade nitpicker, perhaps one of the greatest tricks in turning those exchanges into a compelling, engaging and perhaps downright damn good piece of fiction is not to make it seem as such. They had the right idea by introducing much of the Lot’s denizens and their accompanying skeletons-in-the-closets through the drive-in-as-microcosm, but it relies on telling us these anecdotes rather than showing them in moments, an approach which dictates much of the story’s beats and mysteries to the film’s painful detriment – it’s oh so dire that immediately after this its messenger (Susan Norton) proceeds to have a transaction of backstories that only has the barest attempt of natural progression (Susan nudging Ben that it’s his turn (i.e., que the executable!) to make this exchange distinguishable enough from a QnA interview session (a trick that unsurprisingly evaporates once emitted).

Now look back to 1979, in particular the scene when Burke and Mears play catch-up over dinner – it’s all table talk (a perfect time and place to peel the seals off those TV dinners) yet it’s still a dense and chilling scene that manages to be way more effective and involved in its procession than any of the scenes one can pull from this latest iteration: we start in medias res in reunion, recounting the past and present together through the lens of the never-ending annual Jerusalem’s Lot public school pageant before we smoothly transition over (“Why the Marsten House? I remember that figured in your pageant...”) to personal history – a recollection made through an adult, more retrospective perception – before we are then lead (as all great horrors must) to wade through the depths of a haunted house ghost story oozing thick with “every sound, every shadow...” a campfire tale made all the more chilling not because of the unlikely circumstances it has been recalled in (though that certainly helps) but also because it holds no definite conclusions in and of itself; Mears tries to latch onto a meaning behind it, the writer he is (“There was something, a feeling of-!”), then he and Burke try again by laying out the historical play-field of the dreaded Marsten House on the precipice of a hypothetical (“Can a thing be inherently evil?”), yet all they come up with is a dead end which leaves nothing but a great lingering thought for us, the viewers at home, to really chew on:

BURKE: “But if a house attracts evil men…?”

MEARS: “Why did it attract me?”

Nothing happens, yet everything happened; by the end of it you felt like you’ve been put through a great game of narrative snakes and ladders, walking away with more character and history and more wavering unease than you had coming in. It’s great, it’s awesome – it’s coming to the end of an excellent long chapter of a book and feeling so enlightened you can’t help but stop right there and go for a walk (weather permitting) – and it’s also the sort of thing Salem’s Lot (2024) questionably lacks in high strides: every scene runs on the extremely low octaves of an A-to-B rope-climbing exercise where the only objective is to ring the bell at the top and wiggle your way back down without dying in the process.

And perhaps that was the point, to cut it all-killer-no-filler to leave us nearly two hours worth of solid vampire goodness just in time for the holidays? Nevermind this sort of approach has often proven best with adapting novellas like The Mist and Cycle of the Werewolf than it has for any of King’s more weightier Americana epics, but I think a lot of the reason why that doesn’t work so well either is that, frankly, these vampires suck. Yeah yeah they’re not the sparkling supermen you and I have obsessively ridiculed on here and beyond from there to eternity, but just because these vampires are mean and ferocious and hiss and claw whenever you pull the Good Lord Christ’s switchblade on them they really are just that: they’re monsters with all the academic behaviors but without much of the actual horror (they’re just one calorie, not evil enough). And I say this as someone who has (slowly, but surely) become a born-again believer in the vampire.

I had long-held a childhood view that it was the zombies and the cannibals you really had to worry about. I mean, come on; they could chase you and grab you and cut and rip you right open, eating you alive over bread-n-butter or even right there on the spot, right before your fading, unbelieving eyes! I’d figured the worst thing a vampire could do was live the dull life of a mothball, doomed to have the physical capabilities of dozing off in belfries but forever restrained by the confines of strict orthodox faith from ever doing so; that the fear of coming face-to-face with a vampire in the dead of night was only a spiritual confrontation and as such an outdated and unaffecting one (especially for a budding agnostic youth such as I). To me they either moped unto unholy heaven about the existential dreads of forever and how sometimes love just… hurts… so much… or threatened you with the thought of having wicked canine teeth and forgetting to pray over bowls of instant oatmeal as if that was ever gonna stop me from a good time. I suppose I thought wrong, for though stuff like George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead, Tobe Hooper’s Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and Jack Ketchum’s hybrid whiplash of a novel Off Season will forever stand supreme as monuments of abject carnivore terror, it’s not completely amiss that their final drips of dread are struck by those who at first glance don’t seem as imminent of a threat as the spotlighted monsters themselves. Zombies and cannibals are freakish, unstoppable forces running on the grooves of instinct, but they are also bears: for them there’s no need for disguises (their needs are entirely exterior, all business), and because you can sense their intentions a mile away (“me hungry you meat”) you can prep to either confront them at a considerable advantage or easily evade them altogether; with them you can manage a fair distance between you and them on your own accord, and if necessary you can act against them accordingly, no questions asked (knock ‘em with the spray, shoot ‘em in the head, the works). Vampires, however, are not at first betraying of their animalistic behaviors; by design they are natural born rapists: they can converse with a seeming aura of normalcy and lure you in a sense of security that wouldn’t think twice about inviting them over your place or vice versa; their dark thoughts creeping in the shadows as they become your deeply-embedded best friend and/or lover and/or anyone you can put your head on their shoulder to a soothing tune, a close partner-in-hand who only thinks of you as potential carrion comfort with its leash tightening down your neck by the day and night – a thought which may come too late (or come not at all) when, at the right opportune moment, it strikes, taking you body, soul and mind so that you shall never leave its orbits lest you face some merciless wrath of their own design or suffer one of the world’s accords for those who become victim. It’s why the vampire often reel in their prey by recognition of the personas they possess on the surface (recognition, familiarity, even nostalgia (one of ‘Salem’s Lot’s most active thematics, as with much of King’s ever-expansive oeuvre)), why they can hover by two-story windows and scratch at the glass and call out your name to let them take shelter from this unnatural coldness: they are perfect facades of malice that cannot help but hold comparisons to the demonic because they are by definition Evil: they mislead with love... they take advantage of that love… they corrupt and destroy you until you are but a husk of your former self. You do not die, but they kill you all the same.

And that’s also why the vampires of ‘Salem’s Lot have up to this point been truly terrifying: they had rolled with the traditions of the dreamy-eyed Carmillas and Draculas (your Varney the Vampires but we don’t talk about him) while optimizing them to a living contemporary setting where everyone knows your name, where you live, and what you do behind those closed doors – sure they may bite and snarl at you eventually, but they wouldn’t have to do that if seduction didn’t fall first now would they? And that’s also why 2024’s appeal to quick thrills turn hollow (not even damp), these vamps serving only in function what the zombified CGI vamps had served back in I Am Legend from 2007 (writhe around, banshee scream a lot, try to murder the leads in no exact order). But hey, wouldcha look at that, they decided to keep Mr. Barlow all pale and ugly from head to Nosferatoe like they did back in ‘79 – isn’t that at least something!? Not really; I for one wonder whether the effectiveness of the make-up work back in ‘79 had something to do with the already 70-something Reggie Nalder having to wear it or if it was just That Good, but at least there was an indistinction where it is hard to tell the seams of fantasy apart from the reality. Here however I get nothing of the ancient and archaic from Alexander Ward’s Barlow-ratu: his skin is not rustic and rough, way too slick and smooth, and the inclusion of him having blood-pulsed veins run along his back – though a neat parasitic visual – clocks him more alien leader than it does earth-bred master vampire (now that would’ve something!). They do make a distinction from ‘79 with the fact that this time Barlow speaks (!), but as with the rest of the cast the script makes an absolute misuse of this by never making anything worth its stylistic choice (they grant him one line, one line, and even then that single menacing note offers nothing more to Barlow except that sometimes the old neck-chomper is prone to let loose the occasional one-liner). And this is made even stranger considering how the ‘79 miniseries proved itself the better by making Barlow mute! The original on-screen Barlow had about a minute’s worth of runtime out of the miniseries’ 180+ minutes, but Tobe Hooper and screenwriter Paul Monash had made each of those seconds count: they had it first impressed that Barlow was but a supernatural beast that somehow been domesticated enough to wear a theatrical cape and garb, but not before also deciding that each and every one of his appearances would bring out something new of the character to shift him away from being a mere scary TV ghoul to an intimidating and intelligent being of centuries’ past (Barlow bursts out of his travel crate in the Marsten House off-screen through a rude, shard-ridden awakening, yet when he attacks Ned Tebbets in the jail cell he merely waves a hand over the lock with his own brand of presto-satanic magic; and while his nails run long and jagged enough to slash a few unsuspecting arteries and his teeth impressive in the way that only a mother could love he chooses not to eat the Petries and Father Callahan right then and there as this film lamely does – he instead SLAMS the unbelieving parents’ heads together to knock them dead cold and then towers over Father Callahan’s dwindling faith before tearing that material talisman of a cross out from his hand (then, presumably, eating him – it’s all in due course)). It certainly helps that the miniseries format allowed for such a steady build-up as that to take place, but that’s to imply the film even bothered to try: not even ten minutes in and it can’t help but peek its presents for you by teasing us a glimpse of its leading monster – as if it had no faith in itself to begin with.

But maybe I should’ve expected something was off once they opted to make its opening title card a close-to-the-margins duplicate of the design pulled from the novel’s very first Doubleday edition.* Or that they were really leaning on this being some sort of ‘70s throwback for that matter, going so far as to pull the stops by giving Lewis Pullman David Soul’s coiffure, bringing in some Gordon Lightfoot to bookmark the thing, and even going so far as to slip in Dog Day Afternoon at the double feature marquee (ooooh you remember the Warner Bros. major motion picture Dog Day Afternoon directed by Sidney Lumet ehh you remember Al Pacinooo you remember ATTICA ATTICA ATTICA!?!). Not that’s such a bad idea, mind, especially when there are people living today who believe that decade was the last great era of cinema before we succumbed to the commercialized coke bloats of the ‘80s and on – in addition to a number of people such as myself who at times can’t help but think they may’ve been right all along – but it is a kind of wish (a dream if you will) that easily unravels once you trace back its beats to find them, quite often enough, construed in slight distortions and overt mimicries ranging from the skewed interpretive to outright paper-mache slap-work. While I wouldn’t say it’s the kind of hackjob Todd Phillips managed to “muster” with the first Joker flick, I also can’t help but feel the point of making it a period piece come off as false and flimsy, no matter how creepier it makes everything look under its aged lenses – it’s the kind of time-warp that has the elegance of the back-info on Funko Pop boxes, the sort of return as insightful of itself as those by-fans-for-fans pop culture podcasters headed under conglomerate umbrellas and their twice-removed “satirical” mind-fuckers. I called it a lens but I think the word I was really looking for was “filter.” Perhaps Stranger Things was a mistake.

* The last Stephen King adaptation to do so was 2022’s Firestarter: to Salem’s Lot 2024’s relief that film borderlined on travesty by leaning its unique science-fiction thriller premise into the already over-saturated superhero territory (amongst other things), but still, maybe not the best call to pander to the extent of emulating jacket graphics unless you’re able to Really Bring It home.

Yet here’s the thing: they could’ve done something with setting it back in the grit-dirt ‘70s. Why I expected this from the writer of It Chapter Two I do not know, but perhaps I felt it was still in the cards once everyone involved got the word go to print the book back to celluloid; Dauberman and Andy Muschietti may’ve fumbled the pass hard with bringing forth some of IT’s most prominent themes of cyclical abuse on the run home, but goddamn they had it there the first half; sure it probably helped they were using Chase Palmer and Cary Fukunaga’s prior, more psychologically-driven drafts as some sort of clutch, but you could still catch an ounce or two of the duology’s continuing hero beats of overcoming childhood fears just as long as you tuned out the rest of Chapter Two’s overwhelming key-rattling horror fodder. They weren’t able to bring IT in full under a meager five hours runtime – now all the more spectacularly baffling since the release of Dune Part Two – but at least they managed to carry some of the novel’s kernels with them. Where in this new ‘Salem’s Lot are its concerns of religion and faith – you telling me a story told and set in post-Exorcist America is lacking even that? And where (where oh where oh where) is its textual razor wires beset on smalltown America – that microcosm of a culture that at the time of publication had become even more alienated with itself by the final unravelings of Richard Nixon’s criminal enterprise and the subsequent fall of Saigon and the end of the Vietnam War (a time of discontent we are now faced with once again in all its more deranged and rabid mutation)? Where is all that sweet deep and poetic good shit from the novel that once flowed as ‘79’s undercurrent and came back swinging with full force in ’04? All this film can muster of its denser layers is (once again) one line towards the end when Sheriff Gillespie flees his traitor’s retreat; he tells Dr. Cody that the whole town is falling apart, can’t she see that? Maybe… I mean we already kinda know something of the why it’s falling apart... but you can’t help but feel like they’re only telling you things again. You never really sense that ghost town apocalypse which befalls the town toward the story’s very end, that strange disquieting effect where the narrative seems at once to truly be epic once all the yapping and carbon footprinting has been silenced and those streets are dead and desolate and lonely in time for the final showdown between meek and master; but just that line (that line!!) and never more. And it doesn’t bode well when the only moment that manages to have any bit of poignancy is the bitter (and surely) coincidental irony of its showdown taking place not in a house but at the aforementioned drive-in – now the final resting place of the vampires – and in how the antiquated undead of this direct-to-streaming afterthought are vanquished by our heroes having to tear the silver screen apart by the legs, showing those bloodsuckers the blue-lighted vengeance of some strange unknowable god. Again, coincidence, but it’s an aftertaste all the same – a mildly cruel joke of a miscalculation that shouldn’t have survived the blast but somewhere… somehow… It Lives.

At least Gary Dauberman is a decent director – that too you can take away. Visually it still has enough weight and color and playfulness to it to demand a much bigger screen presence than what it ended up with (even moreso than something like Evil Dead Rise, honestly). I suppose those living over in Ireland and the UK were fortunate enough to catch this the way the gods intended (hello there!), but for us over in the red white and busted we will have to make due. For this upcoming Halloween it’ll probably flow well with a crowd (just make sure you don’t get stuck-up with anybody over drinks), but if you don’t want to drag you and your fellow souls through this overall sleeper you can always go with an alternative: play a copy of this over a projector, get a set of one of those whirling projector light disco things with the ghosts or skeletons or pumpkins or whoever the fuck, and boom! you got yourself a nice little decorative display piece! Keeping the sound is entirely optional: just mute the audio, (you won’t miss much anyway), dub it over with whatever Carpenter Brut/Bauhaus/Goblin type of playlist you have on deck, and let the night burn away for it is still young and willing. And awaiting.

#salem's lot 2024 #gary dauberman #salem's lot #stephen king #horror #vampires #movies #warner bros #new line cinema #movie review #consider the following #movietalk #if you're reading this - hello!#happy halloween #more to come

0 notes

themovieblogonline · 1 year ago

Text

The first trailer for Zack Snyder’s Rebel Moon has arrived!

With a December 22nd release date through Netflix (It is coming to some cinemas as well!), Rebel Moon: Part One – A Child of Fire, is here to give you something perfect to watch around the festive season. Forget the rom-coms, forget watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation for the 100th time, this year, you’re going to space! The trailer simply looks superb. It comes across as a tale of revenge, and after her peaceful life is threatened, we are going to witness warrior Kora (Sofia Boutella) attempt to take on the corrupt Mother World, which is maintained by Regent Balisarius (Fra Free). Along the way, she enlists other trained fighters to help, and Snyder himself confirmed that everyone taking on Regent Balisarius has their own redemptive story. The trailer establishes that Zack Snyder tone that I mentioned earlier, whilst promoting monumental combat scenes. For those demanding that Hollywood come up with original ideas, then this one is for you. If you’re also into Sci-Fi, then it’s a double win. With Anthony Hopkins narrating over the trailer, you can already tell that there’s an exciting depth to this story, and I can’t wait to see that translate to the finished product. The cast also expands out to Charlie Hunnam, Ray Fisher, Michiel Huisman, Djimon Hounsou, to name only but a couple. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rHLOXbFZtI With Zack Snyder drifting away from the DCEU his followers were left wondering what might come next from him, and they didn’t have to wait too long, because he has returned with an epic trailer for his new project, Rebel Moon! After creating a script for an original Star Wars movie, things didn’t go to plan when Star Wars was sold to Disney! Since that point, Zack Snyder has been re-shaping this very script into Rebel Moon. Working alongside Kurt Johnstad and Shay Hatten, he has created an original idea, for Sci-Fi fans to immerse themselves into. It might have been a diverse, roller-coaster style decade+ for him in the DCEU, however, there's no denying that Zack Snyder is a more than capable writer/director with an actual army of fans. Just google "RestoreTheSnyderVerse" to fully understand what I mean. Within the DCEU his directing work on Man of Steel & Zack Snyder's Justice League showed that if he had the right creative power behind him, he could give us an EPIC DC outing, and to this day, fans still feel like he has unfinished business within that realm, especially as he had plenty of ideas for sequels to the Justice League. What I love the most about his work, is the tone that he brings to his movies, it's almost like an actual comic book feel in of itself. When you look at 300, Watchmen and even more recently Army of the Dead, you can really tell that they're all done by the same director. He creates a magnificent tone with his movies, a stylish and slick format designed for the big screen, and it always looks visually stunning. Also, just to add, Dawn of the Dead (2004) is one of my favourite zombie movies, and if you haven't seen it, then I strongly advise adding it to your watchlist. To conclude, the trailer confirmed that a follow-up called Rebel Moon: Part Two – The Scargiver (It took an estimated $166 million to bring both of these projects to life) will be unleashed on April 19th, 2024. So you can watch the first movie, already knowing that the movie series has a future. Will it have the same initial impact as Star Wars or Star Trek? Who knows, but we don’t have to wait too long to find out! Read the full article

1 note · View note

endlessbittersweetdreams · 2 years ago

Text

"Broken & Beautiful" Chapter 9

TIMELINE: “Bodega Cat” (S. 02, E. 08)

I’m a woman with many secrets. But my love for Christmas isn’t one of them. It’s a well-known fact that I love everything about it. Drinking eggnog and singing Christmas carols. Taking a walk down the middle of 5th Avenue in the freshly fallen snow. Curling up on my sofa and watching cheesy holiday movies while drinking hot cocoa. I even love my white, pre-assembled Christmas tree that I purchased the first year I moved into my apartment. I love to decorate it with tinsel, lights, and each and every ornament that I’ve collected over the years.

What I don’t love is being shut down at every turn by my best friend. While my heart was in the right place, I admit that it may have been a mistake to talk to Will about my concerns regarding Tess. I tried to reason with him. Tried to make him understand that I was just trying to look out for him. He would hear none of it. As far as he’s concerned, Tess has not given him a reason to doubt her desire to be with him. Things became even worse when he made a hurtful comment about my relationship with Jake. I’ve never seen Will like this. As long as I’ve known him, he’s never been so irrational and cruel.

While I’m on the outs with Will, I have to say that Jake and I are - much to everyone’s surprise - still together. We hit a bit of a rough patch a few days ago. I won’t go into any details. Let’s just say that I asked him the wrong question, and it took some time for me to coax him back out of his shell. With Jake, I’ve found that patience is key. The night when we made up, I assured him that I will not push him to talk about certain things if he doesn’t want to. He, at least, knows that I care for him; that I’m here for him; and that I am trying to learn his boundaries. Things didn’t cool down right away, but at least we were able to work it out.

Now, if I could just do the same with Will ...

Howard, for whatever reason, has decided to host the annual Christmas party at a whiskey distillery. I’m listening to Sasha and Ari talking about some crazy holiday rave they attended a few nights ago, glancing over at Jake and favoring him with a smile. Then I see Will walk by, carrying a large wrapped box. I leave Sasha and Ari to continue their conversation without me, take in a steadying breath, and make my way over to Will. He may be stubborn, but I’m not ready to give up. Our friendship is too important.

“Hey, Will? Can we talk? Please?”

He gives me a look that could make Hell freeze over, shoves the wrapped box into my arms, and walks away.

Well, guess not.

I open up the box and find a huge bottle of whiskey inside. Well, at least I have some booze to help me drown my sorrows. I open it up, take a healthy gulp, and frown to myself. “ ‘Tis the season to be jolly,” my ass. I find myself a seat and sit down, taking another swig from the bottle. At this point, I don’t care that I don’t even like whiskey. If it takes the edge off, so be it.

“You may want to slow down and pace yourself,” Simone comments, sitting next to me.

“Why would I do that? I mean, isn’t getting drunk a holiday tradition?”

“It is,” she acknowledges with a nod. “But not when you have to go to work in a few hours.” I give her a look, and she picks up on its meaning. “You’re right. Who am I to talk? I haven’t been on my best behavior. And I know that I still owe you an apology.”

“Yup.” I take another swig, then frown when Simone takes the bottle from me and sets it aside. Needless to say, I’m still feeling salty over a nasty comment she had made.

“I’m a grown woman, and I can admit when I’ve crossed a line. What I said is inexcusable, and I apologize.”

I look at her, nodding. “Thank you.”

“And before I forget ...” She reaches into her purse and pulls out an envelope. “ ... I believe you have a birthday coming up.”

I take the envelope from her and give her a smile. Truth be told, I’d rather have the whiskey back. But this will do. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to. Open it.” I do as I’m told, pulling out a gift certificate. “It’s my favorite spa,” she explains. “If you want a massage, ask for Lynnette. She’s the best.”

I smile at her. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

We both happen to look over in Jake’s direction at the same time, and he gives us a faint smile.

“You seem to make him happy,” Simone comments.

I don’t know if she means this. Whenever she talks to me, I always pick up a hint of manipulation in her voice. It could be paranoia. But something in the back of my mind tells me otherwise.

I must be grinning like an idiot when I walk over to Jake, because he furrows his brows at me. “What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing. I just heard something very nice, and it made my day.”

Howard is nowhere in sight, and so Jake leans in to kiss me. He chuckles against my lips and then pulls away. “You got into the whiskey. Didn’t you?”

I shrug. “Eh. It’s the holidays.” Then I add in a sing-song voice “ ‘Tis the season to be jolly. Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah, blah, blah.”

He laughs a bit. “Did Simone give you your present?”

I nod. “Yes. She also apologized.”

“Good. What about you and Will?”

I whine a little and lean against him, and he gives me a side hug. His embrace is warm and comforting. Just what I need.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “He’ll come around.”

“I hope so.”

“Do you have any plans for your birthday?”

I shrug. “The same as every year, I guess. Go dancing. Get drunk. Pass out at Ari’s. Wake up with a hangover and swear that I’ll never do it again. Nothing concrete.” Then I smile and turn to him. “Why? Do you have something in mind?”

“Maybe.”

“Are you going to tell me?”

“Nope.”

It’s a few hours before the restaurant opens. Howard has given me the task of decorating the second-floor Christmas tree. Ari is supposed to help. But her idea of helping involves randomly dispersing silver tinsel in clusters for a few minutes before sitting down at a table to file her nails. Usually, I wouldn’t mind. Some people think of Christmas tree decorating as tedious and boring. I normally enjoy it. But not today, because I’m in a sullen mood. I don’t even have the will to chastise Ari for not being more selective in her tinsel dispersal technique. I’m very close to feeling very much like the Grinch, and I don’t like it.

I let out a sad sigh as I hang yet another vintage-looking ornament from the tree. “You know what, Ari? Why don’t you take a break from ‘helping’ me? I can take it from here?”

“You sure?” she asks, pausing long enough to look up at me.

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Have fun.”

“Yay,” I say sarcastically while Ari makes her escape.

“Need some help?”

I look over at Will, dressed in a suit and tie, and I can’t even muster a smile. “Sure. I guess,” I answer sullenly, and Will and I begin to decorate the tree together.

“I, umm ... I came over to apologize, actually.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” He faces me, and I give him a look as I turn to pick up another ornament. “I’ve been petty and selfish. While I still think you’re wrong about Tess, I know you’re just looking out for me.”

“I am,” I agree, hanging up a delicate white swan ornament.

“You’re just doing what I would do for you,” he adds.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Look. I’m sorry.” I look over at him, and he shrugs and gives me one of his half-smiles. “What can I say? I’m an idiot.”

“You’ll get no argument from me,” I say jokingly, giving him a small smile for emphasis. He stands there, with his puppy dog eyes, and I find myself caving. “You know I can’t stay mad at you forever, Will. I forgive you.” His half-smile widens to a full one, and already the mood seems lighter. Seems my Grinch-like heart has grown back to its original size. “I owe you an apology, too. I should have minded my own business.”

“You meant well,” Will acknowledges.

“I did. It’s just ... You’re always looking after me. I just wanted to return the favor for once.”

“Understood.”

I hang up a butterfly ornament, making a note to ask Howard where he purchased it. I’m sure it’s expensive, but it’s beautiful. “So ... how are things between you and Tess?” I ask. It’s probably a stupid question, but I’m curious. My protective instincts haven’t gone away, just because Will and I have buried the hatchet.

“They’re fine. I know you don’t like her. But do you think you two can make peace? It is Christmas, after all.” He gives me one of those looks. One of those pleading, puppy dog looks that he knows I can’t say “No,” to.

“Fine,” I say, reluctantly. “I’ll try to make peace with her. I will be the bigger person. I will eat a piece of humble pie. But that doesn’t mean I have to like her. Right?”

“Just ... try to be civil. Okay? I really like her.”

I sigh. “Okay. I’ll be a good girl.”

“Thank you.” There’s a moment of silence, and then Will says “I’m sorry for what I said about you and Jake. It was wrong of me to say that he’s just using you.” He observes me for a few seconds. “I never thought I’d say this, but ... Jake seems to actually care about you.”

I smile to myself. “He does. And I care about him, too.”

“Does he make you happy?”

I nod. “Yes. Believe it or not, he does.” I turn to look him in the eyes. “Look. A year ago, if you had told me that I would be in a relationship with Jake ... that I’d actually be happy with him ... I would have thought you had been beaten with a crazy stick.” Will chuckles at this. “But I really am.” I may be saying too much, but I trust Will and I want him to understand. “You may not believe this, Will. But he has another side to him. He has a good heart.”

“Let me guess. He only lets it out on special occasions?” I give him an annoyed look. “I’m joking! If he makes you happy, I’m happy for you.”

“Good.” I turn back to the tree, but pause when Will asks me something that catches me off-guard.

“So ... do you love him?”

@anastacia-lynn

@mypsychoticlove

#jake x oc sweetbitter #tom sturridge sweetbitter #sweetbitterstarz #sweetbitter jake #jake sweetbitter #tom sturridge

6 notes · View notes

lydia-yougowith-stiles · 3 years ago

Text

My Top 2021 Ships

Just like that 2021 is coming to an end, which means one of my favorite posts of the year is upon us: Ranking my favorite ships from this past year in TV and movies (that I watched). I look forward to this every year, and feel like there are a lot of new couples being featured this year. You will see some familiar favorites as well. Slight spoilers ahead (you’ve been warned :) So, without further a do let’s do this!

Crack Ships

Ever since the one year I didn’t include this category and feature Nancy x Ace I have been kicking myself because I felt something early and then it actually became (is officially becoming) something! So, this year I’m including:

Jonathan and Sarah from Superman & Lois.

I know that Sarah is dating Jonathan’s brother, and that her friendship with Jonathan is cute and a brotp, but I just feel so much chemistry on screen when these two share it and I feel their relationship has the potential to be a strong one romantically.

20. Luna and Matteo (Soy Luna)

It took me a little bit to get on board the Luna and Matteo train, but once I did I fell hard. I thought the love triangle between Luna, Matteo, and Simon was one where I would have been cool for Luna to pick either guy. (Btw, I have only finished season 1. No spoilers please. Taking a rest before jumping into season 2). I loved Ruggero Pasquarelli as Federico in Violetta, so I was happy to see him on screen again in Soy Luna. His character is very different and while I don’t always love the bad boy trope, as the show grew and he distanced himself from Ambar I liked him more. I think it had to be around the time he officially broke up with Ambar and joined Luna’s team I was sold on him. Definitely when he wrote the song for Luna, which I LOVED the acoustic version. They have such cute moments at school, and the way they joke, and their nicknames for each other. Okay, so I guess I could go on and on about them. I’m just happy that my journey with this couple isn’t over yet. I just want to see some happiness before more drama starts up again.

19. Zoey and Max (Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist)

An anticipated ship from one of 2021′s cancelled shows. I will not get over that Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist got cancelled this year--ESPECIALLY with that finale! I know there’s a Christmas special, but I haven’t gotten the chance to watch it yet, so this placement is strictly from season 2 (which I have mixed feelings about). I was very excited when Zoey chose Max early on. I’m a sucker (…HA didn’t even intend for the irony there) for a friends to lovers romance, and felt Max was more of the underdog in the first season. I feel their relationship was too short/rushed and that maybe it should have been delayed for Zoey to explore her feelings with Simon first. But overall, I liked the cliffhanger at the end and how she came to realize how strong her feelings are for Max. I’ve seen some gif sets of the two of them in the Christmas special and I’m looking forward to seeing more of them.

18. Geoff and Erica (The Goldbergs)

Geoff and Erica from the Goldbergs are a ship that I jumped on board early in the show, and I am SO happy with where they are now. The season finale of last season was precious, and I loved how the proposal went about. Geoff’s dynamic with the rest of the Goldbergs is one of my favorites, and I think this show does a great job of the brother’s best friend turned boyfriend trope. I don’t think it’s one we often see on other shows (but the Goldbergs does this a lot with Barry’s girlfriends as well. They always seem to be Erica’s friends and I think it’s happened too much. Even though, I know he’s with Joanne now, but she is Geoff’s sister.) It still warms my heart to know these two are endgame (after that episode of Schooled and seeing future Erica in the 90s), but it’s still nice to see the developments of their relationship in 1980-something.

17. Alina and Mal (Shadow and Bone)

The first of many Shadow and Bone ships, Elena and Mal are one that I enjoyed more than I anticipated. Another friends to lovers ship, there were times when I wanted less flashbacks to them as kids and looking at their identical scars on their hands, but overall I couldn’t wait for the two of them to reunite and profess their feelings for one another. I haven’t read the books, but I know a good amount of people said their relationship was redeemed if not a lot stronger in the Netflix show. They felt that Mal was more well-rounded compared to the novel. As this is something I’ve heard and not read for myself (and I don’t plan on reading that series, although I LOVED Six of Crows...more to come on that), I’m only judging on the show’s relationship of these two characters, which I loved. I’m excited for season 2!

16. Lois and Clark (Superman and Lois)

Lois Lane and Clark Kent are forever one of my favorite ships. So, there was a lot of pressure on Bitsie Tulloch and Tyler Hoechlin when I started the pilot episode of Superman and Lois. Other than the Elseworlds crossover, I hadn’t really seen them in action as I stopped watching Supergirl after season 3. Well, I can say they are fantastic and a welcome addition to the history of Lois Lane and Clark Kent/Superman on screen. I love how this show is set in the future from the other Arrowverse shows, so we get to see the Kent family raise their two teenage sons in Smallville. Their family unit is one of my favorite parts of the show, and I really like how they’re able to keep the core of these legendary characters, while at the same time show them in new situations-such as being parents. They balance each other out so well, and the trust is so strong. I love seeing an equal romantic pairing (and that’s with him being Superman!). You can just feel how long the characters have been together, which is refreshing. I have seriously loved every minute and am greatly looking forward to season two which will start in January.

15. Talon and Garret (The Outpost)

From #4 last year to #15 this year, Talon and Garret from CW’s The Outpost will go down as one of my favorite ships of all time. This last season wasn’t my favorite in terms of their relationship as it didn’t feel consistent throughout. The pacing was all over the place and there were several times where I didn’t think they’d be endgame. But in the end they were and (SPOILER ALERT) GOT MARRIED! I truly loved the end featuring their wedding, and both being King and Queen of the Outpost. The flashback scenes showcasing their relationship was beautiful and something I am constantly searching for on YouTube for a re-watch. (This show is so underrated, it’s so difficult to find anything with it). As I’ve stated previously, I absolutely love how evenly matched these two are in their warrior status. It’s something I continue to look for in things I read and watch. (They have even inspired me to try my hand at writing a couple like this.) I think I’ll be re-watching the series as whole sometime in the near future.

14. Kaz and Inej (Shadow and Bone)

Going into watching Shadow and Bone on Netflix, I knew about the love for the Crows as well as the love for Kaz and Inej. After watching the show and reading the first book (Six of Crows), I understand why these two together are so beloved. They are drastically different from each other, and that’s why they work so well. The tension is amazing, and also heartbreaking at the same time. They LOOKS they give one another are HUGE; and I love how in the book we get to read more into Kaz’s thoughts as he’s not a man of many words. Freddy and Amita’s chemistry is off the charts (and I also enjoyed watching behind the scenes clips and interviews with them. You can tell how much they love these characters). I’m so happy that Netflix picked up the show for a second season and I hope that more of the Six of Crows storyline is showcased. I’m worried about the outcome for these two and the status of their relationship in Crooked Kingdom, which I intend to start my year reading. (Please no spoilers :)

13. JJ and Kiara (Outer Banks)

Another show where I went into it knowing how beloved the JJ and Kiara ship was. So, I was surprised when Kiara and John B kissed early in the first season, and then Kiara was with Pope at the end of the first, and for a good amount of the second. I watched both seasons back to back, and felt my love growing for JJ and Kiara’s relationship as the episodes progressed. The two are often paired up together, and their dynamic is great. As Kiara and Pope became more of a thing, I could feel JJ’s jealousy grow-whether it was a look or how constant he was at bringing up their relationship/how it was going. Then I was totally sold when JJ and Ki helped JJ’s dad leave, and then OF COURSE the above scene in the season 2 finale. I’m very invested in what’s ahead for these two :)

12. Captain Holt and Kevin (Brooklyn 99)

Captain Holt and Kevin have always been a great ship on Brooklyn 99 and as the show came to a close this season, I knew they had to be included on this list. In the final season, their relationship saw more ups and downs, showing how realistic relationships can be (despite being fictional and on a comedy). I loved how they worked it out, and in the end were stronger than ever. I also feel that we have always seen Kevin in previous seasons, but this year it was more of a focal point in the show’s plot. These two characters will always be Holt and Kevin to me.

11. Nina and Matthias (Shadow and Bone)

What a rollercoaster it’s been with these two. This is my last Shadow and Bone ship that I’m spotlighting on for this list. While I have enjoyed each of the above ones I listed, there’s something about Nina and Matthias that puts them as my favorite (although, it’s a close list). Once again, I have not read Crooked Kingdom yet, so this is strictly based on the show and Six of Crows. They did give a very accurate backstory for the two of them in the show, and I was impressed how close they were able to get to the book; even quoting dialogue word for word. Their journey is a wild one, and I think that’s one of the main reasons why I enjoy their relationship so much. They’re not supposed to be together or work, but extreme obstacles pair them together and that makes them fall in love. Once again we have an opposites attract trope, which I am here for and think it really works. Shouldn’t be a shock that I’m interested to see what’s ahead of them (and I am worried as they end the book separated). If you haven’t guessed already I highly recommend watching Shadow and Bone on Netflix!

10. Eliza and William (Miss Scarlet and the Duke)

Miss Scarlet and the Duke was a very early 2021 watch for me as it aired on PBS in January. As an avid lover of all things historical and on Masterpiece, I instantly was invested, and also upset that the season went by so fast. (I know it’s been picked up for a second season, but don’t know if they’ve gotten to filming yet. I hope so.) The show focuses on Eliza Scarlet who is an investigator at her father’s P.I. office after he mysteriously dies in the first episode. Her childhood friend, William (aka “The Duke”) works at Scotland Yard and (at first) does not take Eliza’s detective skills seriously. He’s not the only one as this show takes place in Victorian times and women were not expected to have occupations, ESPECIALLY not something as ‘morose’ as being around murderers and the dead. Eliza and William’s relationship really makes the show. They have a past from childhood, which allows a closeness, but also banter like enemies. While you can always feel the chemistry there, they start to feel it as the first season progresses. (Now you can see why I desperately need a second season.) The last episode was *chef’s kiss.*

9. Wren and Janzo (The Outpost)

That’s right, Talon and Garret aren’t the only great ship on the Outpost. Wren and Janzo are also one of my favorites and perfectly encapsulate the “pair the smart ones” trope. Wren became a character on the show in the third season, and her and Janzo’s expertise aligned, proving that while, at first, they butted heads, they were bound to fall in love...and they did. Their relationship has always been solid throughout the many conflicts that occurred on the show. I like how much of a powerhouse the two of them are. They are so smart, and so many people look to them for help. I also like the dialogue they had this past season about how she’s a Black-blood and he’s human, and what that means for their children and place in society. I’m upset the show ended before seeing their baby be born.

#8. Gaston and Nina (Soy Luna)

Another pairing that has warmed my heart this year is Gaston and Nina from Soy Luna. As I mentioned when I spoke about Luna and Matteo, I have only watched the first season of Soy Luna, so I haven’t seen these two date yet. I also know that their ending isn’t satisfying, but I’m going to live in the moment for the good parts to come. Early on I shipped these two. They have so many elements I look for in a couple. They’re complete opposites (especially at the start). Nina is a big introvert and Gaston is popular at school. They had an online relationship without knowing the true identity of the other person, and then Gaston started falling for Nina too! Ah! Still so good as I think back on it. My only frustration is the pacing as the first season is 80 episodes, so there’s times where things get dragged out more than necessary, but they are definitely one of the biggest highlights of the series for me.

#7. Sara and Ava (Legends of Tomorrow)

Legends of Tomorrow is one of the remaining original Arrowverse shows that I still tune into each week. I didn’t love last season with the aliens plot as it was tough for me to get into, and I didn’t enjoy seeing Sara and Ava separated for such a long time. But there were still so many great moments between this ship as Ava traveled space and time to find Sara, and Sara did anything to get back to Ava. I loved how Ava learned that Sara was going to propose and I am happy they were able to officially get married before the start of the new season. I’m loving seeing them as the Blonde Bombshells, and on screen together at the same time. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: They are both badass, female action heroes, and I’m so happy to see this representation on the CW.

#6. Wanda and Vision (Wandavision)

Disney Plus’ Wandavision gave us the most Wanda and Vision content in the entire MCU thus far....and I loved every second of it. The show kept you on your toes the entire time as we didn’t exactly know what was going on and who was behind it all. We got to see Wanda and Vision’s relationship, and what Wanda hoped their future would be like. The show was heartbreaking at times, but also gave us so many precious and quotable moments. I absolutely loved their family and don’t want this to be the last we see of them. I wish Wanda and Vision could have more time together, but we’ll have to see what happens in Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Maddness.

#5. George and Nick (Nancy Drew)

These two are too good for the world. Protect them at all costs!

Nick and George are one of the best ships on the CW’s Nancy Drew. (Here’s my first plug: Make sure to watch this show if you aren’t already. It’ll be one of the best decisions you’ll make.) They are such a healthy relationship that we don’t often get to see on TV. They listen to each other, and don’t jump to conclusions causing unnecessary conflict. While the show has only taken place over a short amount of time, their relationship is well paced and feels realistic and what people could hope for (minus the supernatural stuff that happens). I didn’t see them becoming a couple in the beginning, and it is one of the best things to happen on the show. I am looking forward to how their relationship continues to strengthen and progress. We need to see more relationships like this in shows.

#4. Jake and Amy (Brooklyn 99)

Jake and Amy will forever go down as one of my favorite comedy couples. While I’m sad Brooklyn Nine-Nine ended this year, I was really happy with the way the show ended and how Jake and Amy’s story concluded. Looking back on the pilot, it’s crazy to think that Jake would give up his job to be a stay at home Dad, but he does it for Amy. For her to succeed and advance in her career, Jake stays home with Mac, but that doesn’t mean his time at the 99 is over. (I liked the flashforward in the last scene.) With this couple we have another opposites attract and enemies to lovers, and it works so well. Not only do they balance each other out, but they have also taken on characteristics of each other--like a real couple. Brooklyn Nine-Nine is a great show and Jake and Amy are just one highlight of it.

#3. Nicky and Henry (Kung Fu)

GUYS! I love these two SO MUCH! It has been months since I finished watching the CW’s new reboot of Kung Fu and just looking for a picture of these two have made me want to go back and watch this first season. Nicky and Henry are the perfect combination, and I am SO HAPPY that she chose him in the love triangle. I was worried for a little bit as he was up against Evan who had history as the ex-boyfriend that Nicky left behind without an explanation, but Henry had so much more to offer and I was ecstatic when the two became official. Nicky and Henry are both strong fighters and warriors in their own right, but when they come together they’re even more powerful. They had sleuthing moments as they tried to uncover the mystery behind the sword and the other mystical weapons. And they look great together, btw. The list of my favorite tropes goes on and on and these two check off so many of the boxes. I was so happy when I first posted about them here, and I found the love for this ship was so strong.

#2. Devi and Ben (Never Have I Ever)

Where do I start with these two? There’s so much that I want to say. This was another ship where I knew the love for them before entering the show and seeing gif sets made me want to check it out. It was also another love triangle that I thought was well done. While I was always pulling for Ben, I liked how the show created character growth in Paxton. Once again, there’s so many of my favorite tropes with these two: rivals-enemies-lovers, pair the smart ones, the banter, Ben’s dating someone else, but you can clearly see he’s still in love with Devi and doesn’t want to see her upset even though she broke his heart. He calls her David and she doesn’t react like anything is wrong. HIS FACE WHEN ELEANOR TELLS HIM THE TRUTH! And now we’re going to have to see his pining for Devi as she dates Paxton, for real this time. I believe Ben and Devi are endgame as he’s always been there for her, and what Devi needs even if she believes Paxton is. Ugh! It’s SO GOOD! But also slow burns hurt so much!!

Speaking about slow burns that are amazing, but hurt my soul....

#1. Nancy and Ace (Nancy Drew)

We all knew where this list was headed...right? If not, then you’ve got to be new to this page.

I just love these two SO MUCH. They were my number one pick last year and that was even before the season 2 finale. Now I have even more content to help solidify them in this spot. First, the chemistry between Kennedy McMann and Alex Saxon is amazing, and beautiful to watch. In the early season 1 scenes, it’s hard to see them as platonic as there’s just something that oozes between them in each scene. (1x14 will forever be one of my favorites in season 1 because it was one of the first times we see the two of them investigating and the “I love you too” moment at the computer was just chilling!) In season 2 the crumbs continued to grow and then we get the “I couldn’t lose you” moment and the entire fandom lost their minds. We were beginning to get recognition that we weren’t just seeing things and these two had a future together on the show. Now in season 3 we were left off on one of the biggest mid-season cliffhangers of Ace owning his feelings, and wanting to talk to Nancy, but then getting trapped in an alternate world at the last minute (you know, because these things happen-:)

From the close proximity to the eye contact, Nancy and Ace don’t know what personal space is, and I am so looking forward to the moment when they know their feels are mutual. I long for the times they share the screen together whether that’s investigating something supernatural or having a heart to heart about the future. There’s so many layers to their relationship, and it’s a beautiful thing. I’m happy to be a part of Nace Nation, and for getting here so early so I could watch the love for this ship grow. It’s been a pleasure.

And so, my top 2021 ships list has been completed! Let me know if your favorite made the list, and of any shows you think I should check out because of their fantastic ships. I’m always looking for more to add to my list for 2022. Till then, I just want to say thank you for all who follow or share a like/re-blog, and thank you to the content creators out there. I love searching for your stuff to share.

Happy New Year :)

46 notes · View notes

babymetaldoll · 4 years ago

Text

DIWK: Chapter eleven: "Can't get you off my mind"

|Word count: 9,7K

Summary: Reader struggles with her feelings for Spencer and tries to work with Seaver. Neither of those things works. Spencer's headaches are getting worse. Also, it's Anderson's birthday! Things are getting a little more complicated.

Warnings: Hardcore fools in love. It's getting painful to watch. Spoilers of Criminal Minds Season 6 Episode 11. 25 to life. Cursing, and frustration. Alcohol consumption. Assholes being blind.

A/N: Please don't hate me! but these two are just so blind, it hurts!

Masterlist

.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.

Spencer's point of view

Psychotics in a break always evolve. Well, I was psychotic at that minute of my life, but the only things evolving were my migraines. They were driving me insane. I could feel them taking over my life, my head, my sanity. I could feel my good judgment slipping through my fingers every day, especially since (Y/N) had started acting strange.

It wasn't like she had stopped talking to me or hanging out with me. But I could feel a void growing between us every day. And it was driving me insane. I couldn't understand where it had come from. I just knew it was eating me alive.

Morgan was having a bad day. One really bad day. The man he had vouched for parole had just murdered a man after nearly 70 hours of freedom, and now the team was trying to solve the whole case. Don Sanderson claimed he had been framed guilty of the murder of his wife and baby daughter, but after 25 years in prison, the first thing he did as a free man was to murder someone else.

It made no sense.

We had visited the murder scene. Hotch was still on a leave, so it was just Prentiss, (Y/N), Morgan, Rossi, Seaver, and I. Emily was in full "training agent's duty," walking Seaver through every step of the procedure, which was very nice of her. It was her first case after the incident in New Mexico, and she was eager to do better work than that time. She was nearly jumping all over the place, taking notes.

I talked with Garcia on the phone because he was worried about Morgan, and then I walked to (Y/N), who kept a safe distance from Emily and Seaver.

- "The bullets were in the other room, but the gun is right here,"- I said as I looked around the room. (Y/N) turned to me, ready to speak her mind, but Ashley spoke first, which annoyed her beyond belief.

- "Maybe killing him was an accident."

I looked at my best friend as Prentiss and Ashley continued talking. She just crossed her arms and walked around the room. She surely wasn't dealing well with having Seaver around. I wanted to ask her something, anything, but nothing came to mind.

- "Sanderson was out of prison for what, Reid?"- I answered Emily's question but didn't even turn to look at her. My eyes were following (Y/N), moving around that room.

- "At the time of the murder, 51 hours."

- "He's free for 2 days and change? What's the big hurry to find this guy?"

- "Are you ok?"- I whispered and stood next to (Y/N) as Prentiss and Ashley kept analyzing the scene.

- "Yeah, just tired."

- "Do you wanna have dinner with me tonight? I didn't see you this weekend, and I thought we could do a movie night."

(Y/N) took her time to answer, but finally, after a moment, she nodded and agreed.

- "Movie night sounds nice."

- "Great, ‘cos I rented your favorites."- I might have sounded more excited than I should, but I had really missed her those days, and I may or may not have watched and read Pride and Prejudice a couple of times.

- "Did you? Really?"

- "Yes, I was hoping to spend some time with you."

- "Are you coming, Spence?"- Seaver interrupted us and looked from the door- "Rossi called. They are interviewing Sanderson at the BAU."

- "Yeah, we are coming,"- I answered and looked away. (Y/N) shook her head and walked outside in silence the second Prentiss called my name, and I couldn't follow her. Which, I guess, was a good thing.

- "Is everything ok?"- Emily stayed behind with me. She raised an eyebrow, watching (Y/N) walking out of the room as Ashley waited for us by the door.

- "Yes?"- my answer came more as a question because I honestly didn't know what to say- "Everything is ok, Emily."

- "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have the feeling (Y/N) isn't thrilled to have agent Seaver around."- I almost chuckled at her words and just nodded.

- "It's not like she has made it hard to tell. She literally yelled at her at the jet."

- "Is she mad at me because I am supervising her training?"

- "I don't know. I don't think so… she hasn't told me so. Well, she hasn't talked to me much lately."

- "Why? Did you fight?"- Prentiss wide opened her eyes and moved a little closer to me, trying to read my expressions.

- "No, I don't know what's going on. She just… we…"- I couldn't find the right words to explain my mind, and I think Prentiss knew it, ‘cos she didn't push me.

- "You should talk to her."

- "Yeah, we are going out tonight."

- "You have a date?"- Ashley walked over and asked me with a short smile. I cleared my throat and shook my head right away.

- "No, just meeting with a friend."

- "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to intrude,"- Seaver blushed and looked at her shoes. Prentiss smiled, probably reading something I wasn't seeing.

- "Come on, Rossi is probably waiting for us at the BAU, and I'm guessing Morgan is not in a good mood."

For the rest of the day, I tried to find a moment alone with (Y/N). I needed to talk about what was going on. But it was impossible. We worked late, rereading the original case files, trying to find something that might help us help Sanderson. But it was frustrating and nearly impossible.

So around nine, we decided to call it a day and go home.

- "Are you in the mood for Chinese?"- I looked at (Y/N), gathering all the things as I stood next to her desk- I thought maybe we could get some take-out from that place you love on our way home.

- "Sounds nice. What are we watching?"

- "Pride and Prejudice, Coraline, maybe Beetlejuice. You pick, I've got all your favorites,"- (Y/N) narrowed her eyes, looking at me in silence- "What?"

- "So you rented movies ‘cos you wanted to hang out with me?"

- "Yes."

- "You usually don't rent movies. You rent documentaries."

- "Yes, but I wanted to do something different this time. I told you I missed you."

(Y/N) blushed as she stood in front of me, biting the inner part of her cheek, trying not to smile. I looked at her, nearly beaming, excited to see her reaction. I had felt so scared to lose her, feeling her pushing away from me. It was a balm watching her so happy, and just because I missed her.

- "I love Pride and Prejudice,"- Ashley said from her desk- "I've read that book so many times, I think I can recite it."

I looked at her and nodded with an awkward smile. I knew she was just trying to be nice ‘cos she was new at the BAU, and she was also trying to be nicer to (Y/N), to get on her good side. But that wasn't the way to get to her. Maybe I had to talk to Seaver and explain that my best friend is a special woman.

Neither of us answered her comment. We just stood there, looking at her in silence, until Anderson walked over and waved.

- "Hey agents, before you go, I wanted to tell you, this Friday I'm celebrating my birthday, and I'd love to have you over."

- "Of course, Sonny!"- (Y/N) wide opened her eyes and clapped. She had called him "Sonny" since they sang "I got you babe" by Sonny and Cher in the karaoke at the Christmas party the year before.

- "Happy birthday, Anderson!"- Derek waved.

- "Thank you! We'll gather at a bar nearby. I'll text you the address."

- "We wouldn't miss it for the world,"- Prentiss added and smiled- "Do you mind if we tell JJ and Garcia?"

- "Please do! I haven't seen JJ since she left, and it would be amazing to have her over. You too, agent Seaver."

- "Thank you!"- Ashley smiled and nodded- "Count me in."

I could feel (Y/N)'s eyes rolling, annoyed, even when I wasn't even looking at her at that minute. I grabbed my bag and my coat and held her hand.

- "Bye, guys! See you tomorrow!"- that was all I said as I dragged her out of the bullpen. Emily waved at us, and Derek cut me an evil grin I could decode easily. I just ignored him and turned to the door.

- "Have fun, pretty girl!!"- Morgan chuckled at his own words, and (Y/N) just smiled and winked. Why? Probably to show him she didn't care about all his teasing, ‘cos nothing was ever going to happen between us.

(Y/N)'s point of view

It might have been childish, but I had to take advantage of Morgan's innuendo just to show Seaver things could happen between Spencer and me. It had been immature and silly, but I just felt like I needed to do it. It was like a stupid animal instinct that forced me to mark my territory.

I shouldn't have done it. Spencer wasn't mine. Not even close. And I had to stop being jealous of Seaver. If he didn't want me, he had the right to be with anyone else. But just the thought of Spencer being with someone, anyone, made me feel sick in my stomach. I hated being in love with him. I honestly did, ‘cos I didn't want to ruin our friendship with useless feelings. Spencer wasn't in love with me. He was just my friend. My very thoughtful, cute, adorable, and lovable best friend.

I was fucked. Completely and utterly fucked. Even that second, sitting on that couch with Spencer, I couldn't focus on the movie. I pretended, but I didn't even pay attention to it. All I could think of was how warm his body felt sitting next to me, like a gigantic magnet that called for me. I could simply just move my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. Or lean in closer, rest my head on his shoulder, feel how he wraps an arm around me, and melt in his embrace, like I had done a million times before.

But I couldn't. I had to stop that daydream of a domestic and romantic life with Spencer. It wasn't healthy. It wasn't sane. But most of all: I wasn't real. And I was never going to move forward in life if I kept thinking those movie nights meant something.

- "More popcorn?- Spencer handed me the bowl, and I shook my head- "You have been awfully quiet considering we are watching Coraline."

- "Well, we are supposed to watch the movie in silence,"- I answered and didn't take my eyes from the screen.

- "You have never done that."

- "Maybe I wanted to give it a try."

I grabbed a bunch of popcorn just to keep myself busy. I could feel Spencer's eyes on me, and it was killing me ‘cos I knew I didn't have to look at him. If I did, I wasn't sure how I would react. I was overthinking everything and anything you might think of.

- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah. Sure."

No, I wasn't.

- "(Y/N), can you look at me?"- Spencer paused the movie and turned to me. I hesitated, thinking my best friend is an amazing profiler, and I didn't want him to know how I felt about him ‘cos it didn't want to ruin our friendship.

After a few seconds, I moved on the couch and raised an eyebrow. His brown eyes stared into mine in silence for a moment, trying to read me.

- "What is going on?"

- "Nothing,"- I lied and frowned- "Why are you so obsessed with the idea something is going on?"

- "‘Cos I have this… feeling."

- "You got a feeling?"- I chuckled, trying to be funny but failing completely. In the end, I just stared into his eyes for what seemed to be a million years but were, in fact, just a few seconds.

- "Are we ok?"

- "Of course, we are, Spencer."

- "You never call me that"- he frowned immediately, almost hurt.

- "What?"

- "You just call me Spencer when we are on a case, and there are people around us. But when we are home, I'm never Spencer to you."

"When we are home." That killed me. I hadn't realized how badly I wanted that to be our home, to have a life with Spencer.

I was in love with my best friend. I was spending every single hour of every single day of my life with him. That wasn't right! If I knew he didn't have feelings for me, why was I doing that to myself?

- "(Y/N)?"- Spencer's voice took me from my thoughts. He looked so worried I didn't know how to convince him there wasn't anything wrong, considering it felt like everything was wrong.

- "What is it?"

- "Please tell me what's wrong."

- "I told you, nothing is wrong. I just called you Spencer. That's your name. It's a lovely name. I had never met someone called Spencer ever before in my entire life. You just called me (Y/N), not pumpkin, cupcake, chipmunk, or ma chère,"- he sighed, frustrated and maybe a little annoyed.

- "Nothing is wrong, honey. I'm really ok. Just tired, maybe feeling a little invaded with Seaver in the team"- I knew he knew I hated her, so I had to blame her in a way.

- "Why?"

- "You know I'm not her fan... I hate working with her,"- I kind of chuckled at my own words because I was trying to make a joke out of my awful reality.

- "It's just for a few weeks,"- he tried to reassure me, probably to ease my mood, but the truth was I hated how it always felt like he was defending her.

- "One week, one day, it's the same torture,"- I shook my head and turned to the screen again.

- "Don't be dramatic."

- "I'm not dramatic! I just hate how she is always playing the victim ‘cos her father is a serial killer. She is clearly overcompensating! Besides, we have all gone through bad shit in our lives, and no one is using it as a tool to get things in life."

- "I don't think that's what she is doing."

- "No? Do you think she belongs at the BAU? She is a trainee agent who almost got killed in her first assignment. She works hard, and she is not stupid, I give you that. But she is not top of her class. She is not there ‘cos she is the brightest. She is there ‘cos Rossi, Hotch, and probably Prentiss felt bad for her after what happened and decided to let her hang around and learn something for a while. If you ask me, I think there are more qualified trainee agents we could use in the team, but Seaver played her "my father was a serial killer" card and got the job. And who knows how many times she had done it before, and how many times she will use it again."

Ok, that may or may not have been too hard, but it was exactly how I felt. There was a deep silence in Spencer's apartment. The movie was still paused, and after my speech, Spencer just looked at me with wide-opened eyes. I just sighed and regretted every word that had left my lips ‘cos they made me sound bitter and shallow. But at least they didn't tell him the truth: that I was jealous of the thought Seaver might get his attention. Scared that he could look at her the way he had never looked at me. Just to imagine I could bump into them kissing terrified me.

- "Maybe I should just go home,"- I whispered and tried to stand up, but Spencer grabbed my arm and pulled me back onto the couch.

- "No, please. Stay,"- his voice was a whisper but still managed to shake me.

- "I don't wanna argue with you, honey,"- I thought I would speak too loud, but no, I actually murmured, matching his tone of voice.

- "We don't have to talk about Seaver anymore. Just watch the movie with me. You love this movie."

- "You love this book,"- I added and looked at him. He smiled. God, that smile is going to be the end of me.

- "It's just so dark! But it has such a good message."

- "Not all nice people are good people?"- I just spoke about what the book had meant to me ever since I was a little girl, and Spencer analyzed the whole plot again in less than a minute.

- "I was going to say overcoming your fears, but I like your analysis the most."

- "Of course, you do, ‘cos it's better,"- I teased and stuck out my tongue to him. Spencer just stared at me and nodded.

- "You might be right. Yours is much better,"- he kept his eyes on me for a few more seconds and continued smiling until he snapped from his thoughts- "More tea, ma chère?"

- "No, honey, thank you. I'm good."

I cut him a quick smile and sat back on the couch, trying to relax. I knew it was going to be impossible, but I honestly didn't want to leave. I wanted to be with him. I had stayed home alone the whole weekend, hidden underneath a pile of blankets, in something that looked pretty much like a fort, according to Lu's words. She had stayed with me Saturday night ‘cos I told her I needed a girl's night. It was my poor attempt to stay away from Reid, and she was happy to help.

Ok, Lu didn't know I wanted to stay away from Reid. I just told her I needed a girl's night. I really didn't want to deal with all her questions. You have the right to avoid dealing with your feelings from time to time if you can. And I told Spencer Lu wasn't feeling so good, so I wanted to spend some time with her. He sounded disappointed ‘cos he was making plans for our weekend off but understood completely I needed to be with my friend.

See? Spencer made it so easy falling in love with him! He was so thoughtful it freaking hurt!

I couldn't fight the feeling anymore and rested my head on his shoulder. It felt he was waiting for me to make that move, ‘cos in a few seconds, his arm was wrapped around me protectively.

- "I know Lu needed you, but you missed a whole weekend of cuddling on this couch watching your favorite movies with me,"- Spencer whispered, bumping his head carefully against mine. I bit my lips and smiled, not taking my eyes away from the screen.

- "We do this pretty often"- that was all I could answer.

- "At least once a week for the last… thirteen-month two weeks, and… four days."

- "I love how precise you can be when it comes to our friendship, honey."

Calling it a friendship hurt me at that point, but it was what it was. Spencer chuckled and just nodded. We enjoyed our company in silence for a moment. His fingers drawing figures on my arm and my head resting on his shoulder, letting his smell invade me. It was heaven.

We were finally watching the movie… though what I really wanted was to watch a movie with Spencer instead of actually watching it. But that was the nature of our relationship. We were friends. Friends don't watch movies.

- "No way,"- I argued when his cellphone rang and interrupted our moment- "Please tell me we don't have a case."

- "We don't,"- he quickly answered and picked up the phone- "Hello? Hi… it's ok, tell me"- he didn't stand up or moved from me. He kept holding me tight against his body and finished his call by simply saying.

- "We can meet tomorrow at seven at work. I can help you with your test."- I hated those words immediately.

- "It's not a problem, see you tomorrow. Bye."

I was afraid to ask ‘cos I knew the answer. The knot on my stomach was the fair warning of what had just happened. That bitch had ruined our moment yet again.

- "What are you doing tomorrow at seven?"- I did my best to sound as casual as possible, but I knew that conversation might not end well. He hesitated. I could nearly hear his neurons struggling to find the correct answer to that question. Until he simply whispered:

- "Please don't get mad."

- "Why would I?"

- "‘Cos Ashley just called to ask me to help her study for a test…"

I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, doing my best to calm myself down at least a little before speaking.

- "I'm not mad, Spencer,"- I tried to lie as smoothly as possible. I even cut him a smile and looked into his hazel and confused eyes.

- "I know you don't like her, but I had offered to help in case she needed any… what?"

- "I'm not mad, really,"- I smiled again and turned to the screen- "We said we were not going to argue, and besides, she just called to ask you for help. That's not something to be mad about, right?"

Technically I wasn't mad. I was beyond furious.

- "Are you sure?"- he narrowed his eyes, baffled- "Not that I want you to be mad or something, but we just argued over her, and you said you felt invaded by her… so…"

- "Yes, but I don't wanna argue anymore. I don't want you to think I hate Seaver because I don't. And most of all, I don't want her to be the reason we fight. I don't wanna fight with you. Ever."

Spencer sighed, relieved, and smiled, pleased with my answer.

Spencer's point of view

Something felt off the following day when I walked into the bullpen and saw Ashley waiting for me by my desk with two cups of coffee. (Y/N) had said everything was ok, and I decided I wanted to believe her. But I had an awful feeling about everything that was going on.

- "Hi!"- Ashley smiled and handed me a cup- "Figured you might appreciate one of these for making you wake up earlier."

- "Thank you"- I smiled awkwardly and held the cup- "Are you ready?"

- "Yes, I brought all the notes from the class and my books…"- she set them on her desk and giggled as I went through her notes, sipping my cup- "I feel back in high school…"

- "Why?"

- "I wasn't the best student back then, and I always had to ask my classmates for help,"- I couldn't help but think of something (Y/N) had said the night before.

- "And are you a good student at the academy?"

- "Yes, I think. I'm not in the top three of my class, but I have good grades. I'm just not… a genius, like you."

Her eyes lingered on my face, and her cheeks blushed after a few seconds. I frowned, not getting why she was embarrassed. Was it just ‘cos she didn't have the same honorifics as I did?

- "I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified,"- I simply answered, remembering how many times in my life I had ever said something like that. Way too many, to be honest.

It was hard to focus on the subject when Seaver kept asking me personal questions every five minutes. She seemed more interested in knowing about my childhood in Las Vegas than learning about profiling and victimology.

- "Good morning, kids!"- I turned around and smiled at Morgan, so glad to see him I might have actually felt a little relieved- "What are you doing here so early?"

- "Hey! I was just helping Ashley with her test,"- I stood up and walked from her desk over his- "And about you?"

- "I have a meeting with Strauss in a while, and Sanderson's case didn't let me sleep. It was better to come here and start working than to keep on rolling on my bed. But I'm glad you are here. Wanna help me go through a few extra files?"

- "Of course!"- I left the notes I was holding on the closest desk and walked with Morgan to the conference room.

I considered our session with Seaver finished, mostly ‘cos for the last ten minutes, she had been asking about me. What I liked doing outside the BAU, favorite bands, hobbies, anything. I answered her questions and kept trying to push her to study. I didn't want her to blame me if she failed her test.

- "Hey, kid."- Morgan whispered after a few minutes and took a look around, just to make sure no one else was near. I looked at him confused ‘cos he was never that careful to say anything in the office.

- "Is everything ok?"

- "Yes?"- I answered, though it sounded like a question ‘cos I wasn't sure what he was talking about.

- "Are you excited to have Seaver on the team for the next month?"- I shrugged and kept reading the file in my hands- "Come on, Reid. She is clearly sweet to you."

- "I don't know what you are talking about."

- "She has a crush on you, kid."

- "No, she doesn't!"

- "Come on! Are you blind?"- I stared at Morgan, not getting what he was talking about- "Man, Seaver gives you loving eyes even when we are on the field!"

- "She does not!"- I knew I was blushing. I hated those kinds of conversations, and Morgan always made me feel awkward when he hinted I should flirt with a girl or just talk to them.

- "And I would appreciate it if you didn't say anything like that ever again."

- "What's the matter, kid? You don't think she is pretty?"

- "I don't look at her that way!"- I buried my head in a file and tried not to notice how he scanned my whole face, looking for micro expressions.

- "I see. Are you afraid (Y/N) might get jealous?"- Morgan chuckled at his words and tapped on my back a few times, making me flinch- "Relax, man. I'm just kidding!"

- "I don't like those jokes, Derek. Really."

Morgan kept his eyes on me a little longer and nodded. I did my best not to show how I really felt, but somehow, I failed miserably.

- "You know, kid, it would be much easier if you just told (Y/N) how you feel about her,"- Derek's voice was soft and even more concerned than I thought he could be. I nearly shook when I heard him, so I failed my mission of remaining stoic.

- "Reid, it's ok. There's nothing wrong with having feelings for her."

- "I don't… like talking about this,"- I whispered and closed the file- "Can we just focus on work, please?"- Derek nodded and stayed quiet for a few seconds. But I knew he wasn't done yet.

- "Reid, listen. I know you are not really fond of sharing how you feel with us, I know you share almost everything that happens in your life with (Y/N), and as your friend, I've always felt glad and relieved to know you have her. But if there's something you can't tell her, and you need to talk to someone, you can count on me. You know that, right?"

I nodded and looked at him. That conversation took me back to the year I was using and had to keep it secret from my friends. I knew I could count on Morgan if anything happened, but I really wasn't comfortable sharing my thoughts, feelings, and fears with people. (Y/N) made it so easy. Was it ‘cos I loved her? I just always felt I could tell her anything. That had never happened to me before with anyone.

- "Morgan, Strauss was looking for you,"- Rossi walked into the room holding a cup of coffee and stared at us, raising an eyebrow- "Everything ok?"

- "Yes, we were just going through some files,"- Morgan stood up and grabbed the case folder- "I'll be right back."

- "I'll finish reading all these,"- I said and pointed at the box filled with more files. Morgan nodded and walked away.

- "Do you need any help?"- Seaver walked over that second and smiled at me. I stood up and shook my head.

- "Thanks, but I'm basically done. I'll just go make myself another cup of coffee."

- "I'll go with you!"- she smiled and waited for me by the door. Rossi looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I just cut him a straight smile and walked to the kitchenette, followed closely by Ashley.

(Y/N) walked into the bullpen that minute. I watched her as she opened the glass door and took out her jacket. It felt like the time passed in slow motion as she walked. I couldn't help it, I just smiled as soon as our eyes crushed, and for a few seconds, life was perfect. Just to know she was there, smiling at me made everything worth living.

See why I couldn't tell anyone how I was feeling? They would make fun of me. Morgan would never understand the agony and the dimension of my love for her. He would just tease me. I wonder if he had ever actually been in love 'till that point in life.

I didn't want anyone to know what was happening to me ‘cos I was sure they would make fun of me, and that was the last thing I needed at that moment. So I did what I knew best: I locked it all inside and waited for it to burn me alive.

- "Good morning, chipmunk!"- I stood by (Y/N)'s side and smiled as she left her things on her desk and turned to me. She just looked into my eyes, and my brain turned into mush.

- "Good morning, honey bunny. Did you sleep well? You look tired."

- "Yeah, I just got up extra early today to help Seaver, and now I was helping Derek with some files."

- "Do you need a hand?"

- "Sure!"- I didn't even analyze my answer. I just spit the words, thinking it would be amazing to spend some time with my friend, working together.

- "Hi (Y/N), how are you?"- that until her face changed completely when Seaver waved at her- "Spencer, do you want me to make your coffee?"- I froze and turned to her in silence.

- "No, thank you. I'll… just… wait a little before having another one. I just had my third cup."

- "Three cups in already"- (Y/N) narrowed her eyes and turned to her desk, giving me her back- "How long have you been awake?"

- "Not as long as Morgan, I tell you that,"- I pointed at him, walking out of Strauss's office and heading back to our conference room.

- "Let's help him, then."

(Y/N) walked quickly, and I followed closely. I wished I hadn't said no to that coffee. I really needed one to go through that morning.

During that morning, Derek questioned Sanderson again and finally took him and Rossi back to his house, trying to trigger any memory that might help us crack the case. Meanwhile, the rest of the team and I stayed back in the office, repeatedly going through the case files. So far, all we knew is that a team had attacked Sanderon's home and framed him for the murder of his wife and daughter.

The whole day, I focused on work ‘cos it's my favorite escape, and clearly, there was something more important to think of than whatever was going on with my life. But my head was killing me. The migraines were starting to get more intense, and I think they got worse the more thinking I gave to my relationship with (Y/N).

- "It sounds like we need to profile a dormant killer"- Ashle's voice surprised me when I was pouring myself a cup of fresh coffee in the kitchenette.

- "A very lucky one. He was essentially given a gift, a patsy in the form of Don Sanderson, and he'll do anything to protect that story."- I answered, thinking I didn't want to be in Sanderon's shoes, trying to clear my name of something I hadn't done.

- "When someone has a secret this big, everything becomes a lie."

Somehow, Seaver's words hit me. I'm sure she didn't mean to strike a nerve, but she did. I had been in love with my best friend for too long, and now it was starting to affect my life. I didn't want it to get in the way of work, and we were at work most of our time together. But there was nothing I could do about it. I just had to keep on faking everything was normal.

- "He'll most likely be pathological,"- I nearly choked at my own words as I tried to shake away the thoughts from my head.

- "So, we're looking for a liar in D. C. I thought we were trying to narrow this down."- Ashley tried to joke and waited for my reaction but didn't get anything. Instead, I just cut her a straight smile and walked away.

By the end of the night, Morgan had gotten the unsub. But I was still a mess. It had been the longest day in weeks, not just ‘cos I had barely slept the night before, but because I was overthinking everything that happened around me. It was exhausting.

- "Are you coming, Batsy?"- (Y/N) asked me and grabbed her bag after putting on her coat. I stood from my desk and nodded.

- "Yes, ma chère."

- "Where are you guys going tonight?"- Derek asked and smiled at us- "No. Don't tell me, planning this year's matching Comic-Con costumes"- I chuckled and probably blushed, busted.

- "We already settled those, Derek. We are way ahead of schedule this year,"- (Y/N) answered and stuck out her tongue to him.

- "(Y/N), can you give me a second before you go?"- Prentiss stood up and smiled at my friend, who just nodded and walked with her to the conference room. Derek and Seaver looked at me.

- "What?"

- "Do you know what's that about?"- Morgan questioned me.

- "I have no idea."

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "Please don't freak out,"- Emily smiled and turned to me after she closed the door behind her back- I just needed to clear the air a little bit between us.

- "What? Why? Is there something wrong?"

- "I don't know, I just feel you have been acting weird lately, and I needed to know if it has something to do with me supervising Seaver."

I nearly gasped. Not ‘cos I felt insulted but ‘cos I felt caught. I knew I hadn't been subtle about my feelings for Seaver. I just didn't want them to get in the middle of work.

- "I haven't been weird with you, Emily, and I don't think I've been acting strange."

- "Come on, you don't like Ashley, and I offered to supervise her while she works with us."

- "Yes, but neither of those has anything to do with me and you. We are friends, Emily."

- "I know, and I wanna honor that friendship, (Y/N). I love working with you. I just want you to know I'm not… I just… I'm trying to help Seaver start her career."

- "I understand that. We are ok,"- I tried to reassure her, but I knew she could read between my bullshit.

- "Do you think you could try to be a little bit nicer with her?"

- "Nicer?"

- "Yes, (Y/N). She is making an effort to get along with the team, and you've been giving her the cold shoulder since day one." -I crossed my arms on my chest, obviously annoyed and defensive.

- "I have been friendly with her, Emily. I just don't like her, and you can't force me to be her friend."

In my defense, in my mind, that argument didn't sound as childish as it did when I said it out loud.

- "Don't be selfish! Just because you are jealous, you can't deprive her of the opportunity of a lifetime with this team."

Emily's words were knives against my ego and nearly destroyed my facade. I stared into her eyes and wondered how to get out of that situation without hurting my friend. I could pretend I didn't know what she was talking about, but we both knew that was bullshit. I could actually try to tell her how I felt, but it was so humiliating I refused to open up. So instead, I just nodded and smiled at her.

- "I'm sorry that's how you see me. I'll try to be a better version of myself tomorrow,"- and needless to say, I turned around and left.

- "(Y/N), please wait,"- but I didn't stop walking. I refused to continue talking about Seaver with anyone. I refused to deal with feelings or the real world.

- "Everything ok?"- Spencer asked me the second he saw me appear by his side.

- "Yes,"

- "You are blushing. Did you and Prentiss argue?"

- "No, honey. We didn't argue. She just wanted to check on me ‘cos she was worried I was mad at her. But that's all."- Spencer just nodded and looked at me in silence.- "Why don't we just go home and forget about today, honey?"

Easier said than done.

So Seaver was getting under my skin. And it was getting harder to control. That week was hell, and I didn't want to show it. Eventually, I talked with Emily again, and I tried to explain to her I wasn't being mean with Seaver. I just didn't like her. And though I gave Emily my word to be friendlier with Ashley, the circumstances weren't really helping.

Things didn't get any better than Friday night. No, if anything, that was the night that made it all worse. Prentiss, JJ, and I got together at Garcia's house and had a few drinks before leaving for Anderson's birthday. I was making my biggest effort to have fun and ease my mind. Spencer said he wasn't sure he'd make it ‘cos he was tired, and automatically I almost turned out the whole deal, but Penelope literally dragged me to her house and put a beer in my hand.

- "You, my young lady, are going to put some makeup on, a hot dress, and we are going to party!"

- "But PG, I'm not…"- but she didn't let me out of it. Instead, she shushed me and raised an eyebrow, looking pretty convincing.

- "No "but." You are going. End of the conversation."

So she dragged me to the bar, along with Prentiss and JJ, who had left Will with little Henry to join us for what was promised to be one epic girl's night.

Anderson was so happy to see us. He was a sweetheart who was always willing to help us. I knew technically he didn't work at the BAU, but he was always there whenever we needed him. We all felt he was part of the team.

- "Sonny!!"- I yelled and hugged him tight

- "I'm so glad you girls made it!!"- and his smile was priceless- "JJ!!"- he actually yelled when he saw her and ran to give her a triple bear hug.

- "Grant Anderson!! I can't believe it's really you!!"

- "I've missed you so much!! How's Henry?"

- "So big!! I feel I haven't been out with friends in so long!"- JJ looked around, and her face kept lighting up as she recognized more friends and acquaintances from Quantico. I looked around and recognized Morgan already flirting with a woman at the other side of the bar.

- "Looks like chocolate thunder knows how to keep himself busy,"- I joked, and Garcia turned immediately.

- "Have you ever seen him shirtless?"- she asked in a lower voice and leaned a little closer to me, just to make sure no one would listen- "I'm sure it's illegal looking so good in real life."

I laughed and turned to see Prentiss walk to the bar to get us the first round of drinks. Ok, I'll admit it, I was having a great time. I know I didn't want to go at first, but spending time with my work friends and not just with Spencer was refreshing. Not that I didn't do fun things with the rest of the team, but my relationship with Spencer, I mean the friendship that pretty much looked like a relationship, consumed most of my time. But I just loved being with Reid more than anything.

But one night without him wasn't going to be the end of the world. Right?

Right.

Anderson and I danced and laughed. It was all very innocent. And though I've never considered myself a hot chick or whatever, a few guys asked if they could get me drinks, and I kindly declined. I wasn't looking for a one-night stand or anything. I just wanted to have fun with my friends.

- "And where's Reid?"- Anderson asked as we reached our table, where Prentiss and JJ were catching up and laughing.

- "Home, he said he was tired."

- "And? When are you two going to come clean about your relationship? You know, having the confirmation of your romance would be the best birthday present you could ever give me."

- "Grant Anderson, you nosy bastard!!"- I hit his arm and heard his laughter- "You know we are not dating!"

- "Come on!! I mean it! You have to get together! You are like the FBI sweethearts!!"

- "Shut your face!"- Anderson laughed even harder and took a look around the bar

- "So, if you are not dating Spencer, I have a friend who asked about you."

- "Who? What friend? Is he here?"- Garcia shouted question after question as she had overheard the whole conversation and even moved closer.

- "His name is James. He saw you on the news a few months ago, at a press conference with Rossi, and has been asking about you ever since."

I frowned and looked at Garcia, who was wide-eyed staring at Anderson. I had no idea what was going on. It was bizarre.

- "No, thank you?"- I whispered, not even sure of what I should answer at that- "I'm very flattered, Grant, but… I'm really not looking for someone right now."

- "You are not?"- Garcia asked me, and I just shook my head.

- "No, I have too much going on in my life, with work and… well… what we do…"

- "Really?"- Anderson sounded a little disappointed- "Well, in case you change your mind, James is…"

- "(Y/N)? Can I talk to you for a second?"- Garcia grabbed my arm and crawled me to a side of the bar.

- "What? What is it?"

- "Munchkin, you know I love you."

- "Yes, I love you too, PG."

- "That's why I feel like I need to be honest with you, ‘cos you've always been so sweet, and we've known each other for years now, and I feel like if I don't tell you this, you are never going to forgive me."- Penelope was nearly hyperventilating as she spoke.

- "Ok, what is it? You are scaring me."

- "You have to tell Reid how you feel."

- "What?"

- "He has to know! You have to tell him!"

- "I don't wanna talk about what, Penelope"- I tried to walk away from her, but she stopped me, grabbed my arm, and pulled me back.

- "No, (Y/N). He loves you, I'm not a profiler, I don't even play one on tv, but I am sure what I see in his eyes when he looks at you is love… ‘cos it's the same you have when you look at him!"

- "Son of a bitch!!"- the words escaped my lips as my heart nearly left my chest.

- "No, (Y/N)!"- but Garcia lost my attention that second, ‘cos all I could see was Spencer Walter Reid walking into the bar and Ashley Seaver hanging from his arm.

- "What do you want me to tell him, Garcia? To have fun with his new girlfriend?"- I pointed at the door, and her jaw nearly hit the floor.

- "Ok, no. There has to be a reasonable explanation for that!"

- "Yes, but Spencer being in love with me is not the explanation. I'm gonna get a drink."

Spencer's point of view

I was surprised to get Ashley's phone call that night. When my phone rang, I was ready to go to bed. My head was killing me. I had already scheduled an appointment with the doctor for some exams. I was starting to have a bad feeling about what those headaches really were, and I was too scared to tell anyone what was going on. Not even (Y/N).

Actually, of all people, she was the one I wanted to keep in the dark. Why? ‘Cos ever since we met she had taken care of me, I didn't think it was fair. She had taken me into her life and given me a place in it. And sometimes, I felt I was a burden. She helped me overcome all of my traumas and even my drug addiction. She introduced me to her best friends and made me part of her life. (Y/N) had taken trips with me to Las Vegas just to see my mom, ‘cos she knew it was hard for me to do it on my own. If it hadn't been for her, I would have probably spent over a year without visiting her. Now, we took a weekend to see mom every few months.

Why would I trouble her with some headaches? It wasn't fair.

When Ashley called, for a moment, I thought it might be (Y/N), asking me to pick her up. But no. It wasn't her that time.

- "Hey Spence, I'm sorry to bother you, but… are you at Anderson's party?"

- "No, actually, I'm in my house."

- "Why? I thought you were invited too."

- "Yeah, I know, and I was, but I'm kind of tired, and I wanted to come home and get some rest. Why? Are you at the party?"

- "No, but I was getting ready to go. But now I feel kind of awkward asking you."

- "What? What is it?"

- "I just… wanted to know if you could come with me. I'm so sorry, Spence, I didn't know you were tired. I just… I wanted to go to the party, but I feel kind of silly going alone. I wanted to ask Prentiss, but she left with (Y/N) and Garcia, and I felt so awkward asking…"

I wanted to groan, roll in my bed and hide under my pillow. But Ashley was the new girl, and she deserved to have some fun.

- "Don't worry, I'll take you there,"- I know I whispered my answer ‘cos I didn't really want to do it, but somehow I felt it was my duty.

- "Really?!"- and by the excitement in Ashley's voice, it was clear that was what she wanted to hear.

- "I'll pick you up in half an hour, ok?"

- "Thank you so much, Spence!!"

But when I walked into the bar, I knew I had made a mistake. I felt it in my guts. The same intuition I never followed in my personal life, only on the field.

I quickly looked around as Ashley held on to my arm tightly and walked into the bar with a big smile. I soon found Prentiss and JJ talking at a table filled with empty glasses, and my heart jumped inside my chest at the warm, familiar feeling that my friends gave me. I missed JJ very much. And not just as a team member but as a friend who had been taken away from us. (Y/N) always said I didn't know how to deal with change, neither did she, and the shifts in the team always affected me.

Soon I saw Morgan too, talking with Anderson and some other agents. Garcia had to be close then, but I couldn't see her or (Y/N) anywhere around.

- "Come on! Let's get a drink!"- Ashley said and crawled me to the bar.

- "I don't drink and drive"- I said, and she pouted.

- "Come on! You are no fun! Just one!"

- "No, just water. Thanks,"- I turned and scanned the place. Everybody was there, and they seemed to be having fun. Penelope waved and walked to me suddenly. She cut me a short smile and grabbed my arm.

- "Hey, what the hell are you doing here?"

- "I didn't want to come, but Ashley insisted and…"

- "Hi!"- Ashley appeared by our side and handed me a bottle of water- "I'm so excited to be here! We really needed to decompress after everything that happened this week, right Garcia?"

Penelope stared at us, trying to formulate an answer. I could see her making her bet to say something, but she just didn't. Instead, she just turned around and walked away.

- "Is she ok?"- I didn't know how to answer that, ‘cos Penelope's reaction surprised me. Ashley just looked around and grabbed my arm again.

- "Come on, Spencer! Let's dance!"

- "No, I don't… dance, sorry."

Lucky for me, Prentiss showed up and invited us to sit with her at her table. I don't know if she noticed I was uncomfortable, but I was glad to see her. Being in that bar made me feel pretty awkward and exposed.

I had never been much of a party person. I wasn't used to bars and gatherings until I joined the BAU. When I first met Derek, he tried to take me out a few times and be my wingman. It's obvious he failed at that mission. Meeting people at a bar is the most complicated equation I could ever try to solve. It doesn't work for me, no matter how hard Derek pushed me to do it. He said I had to rely on what made me feel comfortable. But no. It wasn't that I couldn't meet people. It was that I didn't want to meet anyone once I met the woman of my dreams. Even when I knew she could never be mine.

When (Y/N) came along, she started hosting these fun "dinner parties" with Frank, Lu, and Mikey, which changed everything. It was the first time I was hanging out with people my age doing things I actually liked doing. It wasn't about drinking or picking girls in a bar. It was about playing Jenga, or charades, eating pizza, and talking about movies and sometimes even books.

(Y/N) said her friends considered me part of the gang, which was all I ever wanted to hear. That I belonged. It's kind of sad when you think about it, but I don't care. I had never felt like I belonged anywhere, and they made me feel like I was one of them. They took me to their rock shows, and I jumped along with the crowd, knowing I wasn't an outcast there. I was with my friends.

You don't know how good that made me feel. And for years, they were my social comfort and cocoon. Then, when Rossi joined the BAU again, he started hosting fancy dinner parties at his house, and I got to hang out with the whole team without being at a bar, pushed to meet people. And it was so good. (Y/N) always said Rossi's arrival had a cohesive effect on us. Not because he brought us together, but the circumstances of his arrival and everything that happened that first year.

This team is no stranger to trauma, and that's a fact. I think Rossi's dinner parties gave us a space to be ourselves, relax, have a few drinks and enjoy our time together. I think that's when we stepped from being friends to be family.

And I hadn't had one before.

I hugged JJ tight as soon as I saw her smiling at me. I hadn't seen her ever since her goodbye party, over two months before, but we had talked on the phone a few times.

- "I've missed you so much, Spence!!"- she said and held my face with both hands- "You and (Y/N) owe me two babysit nights,"- and I laughed, thinking we promised we'd take care of Henry so she and Will could have a date, but we were called for a case.

- "Wait! It was one night!"- I argued, chuckling- "Why is it two nights now?"

- "‘Cos I lost a very exclusive reservation due to the two of you."

- "Technically, it wasn't our fault, we were called in for a case..."

I smiled and sat next to JJ, and Prentiss sat next to me. Ashley stood by the table and smiled at JJ. Right, they didn't even know each other.

- "It's very nice to meet you, Agent Jareau. The team talks very highly of you,"- she shook JJ's hand and smiled.

- "Ashley, right? Prentiss was just telling me you will be taking your remedial training at the BAU. Congratulations, it's a fantastic team to work with."

- "Thank you,"- I took a look around, still trying to find my best friend around. But it seemed useless, and I was starting to feel worried.

- "Where's (Y/N)?"- I had to ask.

- "She was with Anderson a minute ago,"- Penelope said and looked around- "I am going to look for her and bring her here in a second. I'll be right back."

And so, she was gone.

Prentiss and I pretty much interrogated JJ about her new job and the new team she worked with at the pentagon. I sipped my water and half-listened her answer, ‘cos most of my head was trying to register what was going on around me. No, actually, I was trying to find (Y/N). Penelope had been gone for half an hour looking for her, and I was starting to think something weird was going on. Besides, my head was killing me, and all I wanted was to go home. But I hadn't seen JJ in weeks, and I couldn't waste a chance like that.

Ashley talked with Prentiss too, and every once in a while, she tried to engage in conversation with me. But to be honest, I couldn't really concentrate on anything. I just wanted to know (Y/N) was alright.

- "Excuse me,"- I stood up slowly and looked at my friends- "I'm going to the bathroom, be right back."

- "Can you get us another round on our way back?"- Prentiss asked and smiled guiltily.

- "Sure."

- "Do you need help?"- Ashley tried to stand up, but Emily stopped her.

- "He got it, don't worry."

So I was left on my own. I walked around the bar. In my mind, I kept telling myself I was "looking for the bathroom," but I knew very well I was indeed trying to find (Y/N). I had been in that bar for an hour, and I still hadn't seen her. I was worried.

I walked around the bar and found Anderson. He seemed to be a little shocked to see me there but smiled and hugged me. It was weird hugging people, still. But Anderson was part of the team. It always felt like it. We had known each other for years, and somehow it was like he was in the background of our daily basics.

- "Have you seen (Y/N)?"- I asked him, and he widened his eyes- "What?"

- "Yeah, she's right there, actually… "- Grant Anderson pointed and turned around- "Later, Reid."

- "Bye"- I didn't even look at him. I just turned and looked around to see (Y/N).

But my best friend didn't notice me. She was too busy kissing some guy.

I stood in front of her, not knowing what to do. Her eyes were closed, and her arms were around his neck, so clearly, she wasn't in distress, and no matter how badly I wanted to take her from him, I just couldn't.

For a minute, I couldn't believe my eyes. I just stood there and stared at (Y/N), trying to understand what was going on. I always knew she wasn't meant to be mine, but I had never gotten such a brutal reminder. Not even when she was dating Paul. Watching her kissing someone else was shocking. The way that man put his hands on her waist and held her close to him, just like I always dreamt of doing, was painful.

Painful. That was the only word I can explain how it felt.

I stood there for a minute or so. I really don't know how long it was, but it felt long enough to burn in my memory everything I needed to torture myself with for the rest of my life. I stepped back after a minute. It might have been longer; I really can't recall. And all I managed to do was to walk out of the bar and reach my car.

I opened the door and slammed it as I sat behind the wheel. I wanted to cry and yell. But I didn't do either of those. Instead, I stayed still, staring at the nothing in front of me, trying to erase that fresh memory from my head. But it was impossible. (Y/N) was making out with some guy inside that bar, and there was nothing I could do to stop her. So I did the only thing I could do at that minute. I started the car and got the fuck out of there.

–

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @muffin-cup @shilohpug @eternalharry @tvandfanfic @fandomtrash2405

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy @meowiemari @archer561

–

Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.

Next update: June 23th, 2021

#Spencer Reid #Criminal Minds #Matthew Gray Gubler #Babymetaldoll writes #spencer reid x reader #Spencer Reid fanfiction #hurt #angst #fluff #fools in love #criminal minds re write #criminal minds fanfic #derek morgan #emily prentiss #penelope garcia #david rossi #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfictions #diwk

178 notes · View notes

lavenderdaisyhoney · 3 years ago

Text

Holiday In Handcuffs

Levi Ackerman x Y/N

word count: 5k

warnings: kidnapping, mentions of blood, kisses, emotional, the use of handcuffs (let me know if I’ve missed any)

Hello everyone! So uh I may have girl bossed a bit too close to the sun as I had originally intended this to be a very short sweet fic but it somehow turned into five thousands words I?? I guess we ending the year this way lmao. ANYWHOSIES, This is my part for @ghost-party Christmas movie remix collab! I used the movie, Holiday in Handcuffs. If you haven’t seen it, please do. It’s super cheesy but fun to watch.

Nobody expects to start their holiday by being dumped. Over text. Right before heading back home after gushing that you’ve found the one. You’ve always been the chaotic member of the family and because of that, your parents often worried about you. For once you thought you could show them that you did have everything together and they didn’t need to worry about you.

“What am I going to do now?” You whined to your friend Sasha, who also happened to be a waitress at the restaurant you both worked at called Niccolo’s.

“Ugh, I’m sorry Y/N. That’s so brutal.” Sasha quipped as she wiped some glasses with a towel. “Maybe just be honest with your parents. Tell them your ex is a douche and you’re much better off without him.”

You shook your head. “You don’t know my parents. They’ll be super disappointed. My mother sent me a text of matching sweaters she got for the both of us. She’ll be crushed.” Guilt ate you alive at the idea of being honest with your parents.

“Hmm. In that case, maybe you should hire an escort or something? You know, as a fake date over the holidays?” Sasha suggested.

That wasn’t a bad idea but you hardly had enough money to cover rent let alone pay a man to play your perfect fake boyfriend in front of your parents for an entire weekend. Sasha tapping on the bar pulled you from your thoughts.

“Oooh look! Mr. Ackerman is back! Do you want to take his table or should I?”

You begrudgingly grabbed the menu off the counter. “I’ll do it.” You took a deep breath and forced a smile on your face, entering your customer service persona. You approaches his table and passed the menu to him.

He doesn’t look up at you as he’s texting on his phone so you took a minute to observe him. Pale skin. Black hair that’s parted down the middle. His hair looks soft. What? Come on Y/N. Get it together. You just got dumped.

He finally looked up at you after sliding his phone in the inside pocket of his suit jacket, gray eyes meeting yours. “I don’t need a menu. Just get me my usual. You should know that by now.” His deep voice cuts right through you, his words short as usual.

You cleared your throat. “Right away, Mr. Ackerman.” You grabbed the menu back off the table and head to the back of the bar to punch the order in. Once the paper is printed, you take it to the kitchen and stick it on the shelf.

The owner and head chef, Niccolo, smiled as you entered the kitchen. He was at the far counter, kneading some dough. “Who’s order is that?” He asked. He could always tell who ordered what as he had a perfect memory.

“Mr. Ackerman’s.” You replied.

“Ahh. The onion soup.”

You clicked your tongue. “Onion soup.”

He pointed to his sous chef, Floch, and wordlessly told him to get the order started. “So, Y/N. Excited to go back home for the holidays?“

“I think excited is an overstatement.” You mumbled as you leaned against the door.

“Come on, why so glum? It’s the season of cheer.” Niccolo clapped his hands, a cloud of flour dusted the air. “You need some cheer.”

“I need a bubble bath, some food, and my favourite holiday movie on repeat.”

“Tsk tsk. Keep talking like that and I might keep the restaurant open with you as my only waitress.”

You widen your eyes in mock horror and ran out of the kitchen. To be honest, working through Christmas wouldn’t be so bad. You could use the extra cash.

You go back to making sure the bar is kept clean when Floch called out your name.

“Order up, Y/N.” He gently placed the bowl with the onion soup on the counter between the bar and the kitchen. You grabbed it and walked carefully towards Mr. Ackerman. He was on his darn phone again. You placed the bowl on the table. You stood there for a few seconds, hoping for some acknowledgment but he continued to focus on his phone. He must be married to the damn thing.

As you walked away, Sasha’s words kept running through your mind. Hire an escort. Hire an escort.

You know you can’t afford to pay for one but what if you just put out an ad? Maybe he’ll let you pay in installments? Was that even a thing? You glanced back at Mr. Ackerman. If only someone like him was your boyfriend. Your parents would leap with joy. They wouldn’t be worried about you nor would they doubt you. A crazy idea started to weave in your head.

The Kidnapping:

It was only 20 minutes later when Mr. Ackerman stood up and tossed a couple of bills on his table. You quickly moved to grab your jacket. Now or never. You clocked out and followed him out the door.

“Mr. Ackerman I-“

“Shit. My tire is flat.” He grumbled. A look at his expensive black car confirmed that one of his tires was indeed flat.

Looks like things were going your way. “I could give you a ride if you want. It’s gonna take forever for a tow truck to come out.”

He ran his hand through his hair, messing the perfect locks. He looked at you. “If you don’t mind, that would be kind.”

Yes! You unlocked your car and quickly tossed some empty wrappers to the back seat. “Sorry about the mess.” You gestured for him to sit down and ran around to the drivers side. Once you were buckled in, you started the car and carefully backed out of the parking lot. “Where are you headed?”

“Uh, my office. It’s about 10 minutes from here, over on Main Street.” He replied curtly, eyes glued to his phone.

You tapped your fingers on the wheel as you thought of how to ask him to be your date for the holidays. “So uh, are you married?” You asked as you pulled out into the open road.

He glared at you from the side of his eyes. “That’s quite the personal question but no.” He looked back at his phone. “You?”

“Never married but I was in a relationship until recently. He actually dumped me over text.” You revealed.

“Why would you date someone like that in the first place?”

“Well, he charmed me. He used to work here but then he got some fancy office job and apparently I was holding him back.” Your hands tightened as you thought of your ex.

“Sounds like a charmer.” He absently replied.

You coughed out a dry laugh, hoping the sound would ease the tension. “Any plans for the holidays?”

“Just some take out and paperwork.”

Your mouth dropped open. “Wait, you’re working during the holidays?”

“I always do.” He finally put his phone away. “I don’t have a family and my friends are other workaholics.”

“Wow. Sounds very festive.”

“Indeed.” His short reply indicated he wanted the conversation to end.

“Well, I have to go back home to visit my family. Except they think I’m still bringing my ex. I haven’t had the heart to tell them that he dumped me.” You turned onto the street that would lead you to his office.

“That sounds unfortunate.” He said while looking out the window.

“So while we’re on the topic, since you have nothing to do, would you mind playing my fake boyfriend?”

Silence filled the car as you waited for him to answer. “Why would I do that?” He asked after a couple of seconds.

You winced. “Out of the goodness of your heart?”

“Also, I told you I had paperwork to do. I wouldn’t classify that as nothing.” He shifted in his seat.

“It’s kinda sad though. So what do you think?”

“I think you should pull over and let me out of this car. I can walk the rest of the way to my office.”

You clicked the locks and drove a bit faster. “I’m really sorry Mr.Ackerman but I need you.”

“Listen, I’ll call the cops if you don’t pull over.” He held up his phone.

You grabbed it, rolled down your window, and tossed it out of the car. “With what phone? I haven’t charged mine since this morning so don’t even try.”

“Are you crazy?!” He hissed. “My entire life is on that thing!”

“Well, sounds like you need to get out and live a little, which is exactly what you’ll do at my parents house in the mountains.”

He attempted to reach the wheel but you jerked the car so he would be shoved back in his seat. “Sir, no, Sir.”

“This is illegal. It’s kidnapping. Think clearly.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Ackerman, but it’s looking like you’re going to visit nap-town.”

He titled his head in confusion, eyebrows scrunched. You quickly jerked the car, harder than before, and he hit his head on his window, effectively being knocked out.

You felt guilty as he slumped over in his seat, a bit of blood on his forehead. You made a note to stop by the gas station and buy him some bandages.

The Handcuffs:

You stopped at a gas station to grab the bandages and a couple of snacks. You were at the counter to pay when you noticed the stuff hanging behind the cashier. One item in particular caught your attention.

“Sir, how much are those?” You asked, pointing to the item.

The cashier looked behind him and looked back at you with a smirk. “Ten bucks.”

“I would like one please.” He nodded and grabbed one and slid it in your bag along with your other items. “That’ll be twenty bucks. We take cash only.” He mumbled.

You grabbed a crumpled twenty from your pocket and placed it on the counter. “Thanks a lot.” You quickly left the little store and ran to your car. You opened the door and hopped in, a sigh of relief left you as you noticed Levi was still unconscious.

You opened up the bag and ripped one bandage open and leaned over to him, gently bandaging the little cut on his forehead. That’s gonna bruise for sure. You pulled out the item you bought and took it out of its packing. You grabbed one of his hands, the sleeve of his jacket slid down, revealing a slender but pale wrist. He has pretty wrists. You shook the thought from your head and clipped the handcuff over his wrist, clipping the other cuff to the handle attached to the roof of your car.

You sat back and observed your work, nodding in satisfaction. You had just started the car when you heard him mumble.

“You’re awake! How was your nap?” You excitedly asked.

“Oh you mean the nap where you knocked me out? Great. Thanks for asking.” He groaned and tried to sit up, finally noticing that one of his hands was handcuffed. “What the hell is this?”

“That’s just my insurance. So you don’t try to escape. Maybe jump out of a moving car.”

He shook his arm. “Do you know how easily I could get out of these?” The pink fuzzy cuffs rattled.

You rolled your eyes. “Come on! I’m really desperate!”

“Tch.” His eyes turned into slits. “What does your desperation have to do with me? I’m starting to see why your boyfriend broke up with you over text.”

“Wow.” Tears formed in your eyes but you sucked them up as you refused to cry in front of him. “That was a really harsh thing to say and for that, you will not be getting any beef jerky.” You angrily took a bite out of the jerky and tossed the rest of the pack to the backseat, resuming the long drive back home.

You pulled up in front of your parents, the large house stood quiet and tall amongst the trees. “Wow, you’re rich?” Levi asked as he looked over at the house. Great, maybe I can get a hefty sum when I press charges.”

You looked over at him as you cut the ignition. “My parents are rich, not me.”

“Tch. That’s something only rich people say.” He responded. “What do your parents do?”

“Uh? Well, I guess that’s important for you to know. My dad was a lawyer and my mom was an English professor. They’re both retired now.”

“A lawyer's daughter committing a crime? How fitting. The apple fell way too far from the tree.”

You glared at him. “Yeah yeah. So, when we get inside, my parents will probably hound you with questions. Just be short and courteous with your answers.” You sighed, anxiety hitting you full force. “Wait here, I’m just going to tell them we’ve arrived.” You opened the door and got out of the car. You rubbed the sweat of your palms on your jacket and headed up the steps towards the front door.

You had barely knocked when the large oak door was flung open, your mother dragging you into her arms. Your father stood behind her, glasses resting on his nose, hands in his pockets. “You’re here!!!! I’m so happy. How was the drive?” She asked as she hugged you.

“It was okay. I’m fine, Mom.” You stepped out of the hug and focused on your father. “Hi, Dad.”

“Hello. You have your winter tires on, right?“

You smiled. “Yes, you made sure of that two weeks ago when you called to remind me. Anyways, I wanted to let you know, I have my boyfriend with me but uh, it’s kind of a sensitive topic. He suffered a brain injury not too long ago so he tends to be confused most of the time.”

Your parents both nodded sympathetically. “So uh, if he happens to say something about being kidnapped, just ignore him. It hurts to see him this way but the doctor said he would get better.” You wiped a fake tear from your eye.

“Say no more, Y/N. Go grab your things from the car and meet us in the kitchen for some hot cocoa. It’s quite chilly out here.” Your Mom said as she stepped back inside the warm house.

“Thanks Mom. I’ll see you in a bit.” You hopped back down the steps and ran to your car. You unlocked Levi’s door and pulled the keys to the cuffs from your pocket.

“Okay so I told my parents everything. Just be cool, okay.” You unlocked the cuffs and threw them onto your seat.

“Oh I’ll be cool alright. Surely your parents will be more sane than you.” He glared at you while he rubbed his wrist.

You stepped out of his way and dragged a hand down your face. “I know that once we get back, I’ll probably be arrested just please. Please help me out just this once.” You pleaded.

He looked you up and down and rolled his eyes. “I’m not making any promises. I’m rather excited to see the interior of the house.”

You smiled weakly and headed to the back of the car to grab your bag from the trunk. “Uh, can I call you by your first name?”

“Whatever. It’s Levi.” He replied as he still rubbed his wrist.

“Levi. It suits you.” It’s actually a perfect name for him.

“Just like how an orange jumpsuit will suit you when you’re in jail.” He replied, a fake smile on his face.

“Very funny.” You closed the trunk and walked towards him. “Well, here goes nothing.”

He’s swept his hand through the air dramatically. “After you, criminal.”

Oh, dear.

Day One: I’m a Victim!

Levi was in bed, arms crossed angrily while you sat at your old vanity, in the midst of your skincare routine.

His eyes met yours through the mirror. “I can’t believe you told your parents I suffered through a brain injury. They don’t believe a single word I say.”

“I’m just covering my bases.” You replied while dabbing some serum underneath your eyes.

“Also, this really is the middle of nowhere.”

“Uh huh.” Levi had tried to run away the minute you let him out of the car but he quickly discovered how cruel the mountains can be when you’re not prepared for them.

“How long do I have to be here?” He asked as he uncrossed his arms.

“Just for two more days.” You replied. Now, it’s time for moisturizer.

“Don’t think just because I’ve been quiet that I’m letting this go. I hope you don’t forget that I’m the victim here.”

“I know. I get flashes of the police dragging me out of this house. Don’t worry. I won’t forget.” You put some lip balm on and popped your lips. There, all done. You turned on your stool and faced Levi.

“Do you want some of my skincare stuff? It’s all organic and cruelty free.”

He glared at you.

“Okay never mind then.” You clap your hands on your knees and head to the makeshift bed Levi so thoughtfully made for you on the floor. It consisted of blankets and pillows. You slide underneath the blanket and pulled it up to your chin.

“Don’t even think about crawling into this bed with me, brat.” Levi threatened as you heard him shift around, getting comfortable.

“Please. I have my limits.” You replied sarcastically.

It had only been half an hour of silence when you heard Levi’s voice. “What was that at dinner about an interview?”

“Oh, my father wants me to work at his old law firm.” You turned over to the other side.

“Why don’t you want to work there? Surely you’ll make more than you currently do now.”

You sighed. “Not everything is about money. Happiness counts too, you know. I don’t want to end up some old sad mess who works 9-5 in a job they hate.”

“Like me?” He asked, his voice softer than you’ve ever heard it.

You blinked your eyes. “You hate your job?”

“Yeah. I’ve realized since I’ve been kidnapped that I haven’t thought about my phone even once. I don’t even remember why I started working in business. It was what my uncle did and since he raised me, it only felt right.” You heard the rustle of bed sheets as he too turned over.

“What happened to your parents?”

“I never knew who my father was and my mother died when I was young. She was very ill. We didn’t have much but she always made sure I was happy.”

You felt guilty at his answer due to the fact that you had a pretty good childhood filled with happiness with both your parents. “I’m sorry.” You whispered.

“I didn’t tell you that so you would feel pity for me so quit it.”

You laughed. “Okay. Get some sleep, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” He growled.

As you tried to sleep, you pondered what a young Levi was like. Maybe he was cheerful. Less curt. More adventurous. You made a note to ask him tomorrow just as sleep finally caught up with you.

Day Two: Crazy Eights

“Ah ha! I won.” Levi shouted while throwing his last card on the table and jumping up out of his seat, arms in the air.

You looked over at him in amusement. “I thought you said you’ve never played crazy eights.”

“I haven’t.” He pulled his sweater down. “I guess I’m just lucky.”

“I refuse to believe you’ve never played this game, Ackerman.” Your father replied, salty that he had lost.

Over the weekend, you’ve noticed the relationship between Levi and your father growing. He helped him shovel the driveway, run out to the grocery store, and hang all the lights outside.

You tapped Levi on his arm. “Hey, darling, a word?” You don’t give him time to answer as you practically dragged him out of the living room.

“What? I was having fun.” He crossed both arms across his chest. You try really hard not to notice how good he looks.

“You gotta quit being so likable! It’s gonna crush them when they realize this is fake.”

“I’m not following. You forced me to be here so I could impress your parents but now you’re telling me not to do that?” He does that eyebrow lift thing he does when he thinks something is incredibly stupid.

“Yes, exactly. Just chill out, maybe go take a nap or something.” You suggested while keeping an eye out for any lurking family members.

“No can do, Y/N. I promised to chop some wood with you father.”

You groaned and moved to bump your head on the wall but Levi placed his hand between the wall and your head. “Can’t have you losing the few brain cells you have left.”

You glared at him. “Very funny. Go have fun chopping wood while I try to help mom cook with the fridge brain cells I have. Oh dear, however will I be of use?” Without a look back , you head to the kitchen, a proud smile on your face.

What you didn’t know was Levi was also smiling. Maybe at you instead of with you but he was smiling nonetheless.

Day 3: The Truth Comes Out

The hum of conversation filled the dining as dinner was served. You glanced over at your mother, a smile on her face as she looked at your father. She looked content and comfortable. She always had so much love to give. Why did you do this? How could you lie to her? Guilt rears its ugly head inside of you as it tells you what to do. You stood up quickly, chair dropping behind you. You couldn’t do this anymore.

Levi looked over at you as he was in the middle of grabbing another bite of lasagna. “What are you doing?” He whispered.

“I have to tell the truth.” You whispered.

He dropped his fork and fixed your chair, pulling you back into your seat. “No you don’t.” He warned. “Let’s talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Levi.”

“What’s the matter, dear?” Your mom asked as she looked at you over the rim of her glass. She set it down gently. “Is everything okay?” Her voice was filled with concern.

“Everything is not okay, in fact. I’m a terrible person.” You took a deep breath, knowing once you spit everything out there’s no going back. “I kidnapped Levi so he could pretend to be my boyfriend.”

Silence filled the room as your parents look at you as if you’ve lost your mind. Maybe you have. “I’m a mess. Dad, I sabotaged the interview at the law firm because I don’t want to be a lawyer. Mom, I forced Levi to pretend to be my boyfriend over the holidays so you wouldn’t be disappointed in me. I was dumped over text and I just didn’t want the holidays to be ruined. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going back to my lonely apartment so I can cry into a tub of ice cream.” You dabbed your lips with the red napkin and rushed out of the dining room, heading up the stairs and ignoring the protests of your family.

Day Four: Bittersweet Goodbyes

You were in your room, packing the little amount you brought with you when you heard the door open behind you.

“Don’t say anything. I’m leaving.” You threw a sweater into your bag and angrily wiped the hot tears from your face.

“Y/N.” Your father’s voice filled the room. You turned around to face him.

“What? Are you here to tell me how disappointed you are in me? If so, save it.”

“I’ve never once been disappointed in you. Believe it or not. I’ve had high expectations, sure, but never disappointed. I always knew you were special ever since you were born.”

“Special or stupid?” You sat down on the edge of the bed. “I try. I really do but it’s hard to live up to the expectations you set for me. I’m not you. I’m my own person, that’s why I moved out.”

Your father sat next to you and placed his hand on your knee. “You're right. You’re not me. I apologize if I ever made you like you had to be me. I love you because you’re you. I will try to not be such a helicopter parent.”

You laughed. “Where did you learn that phrase?”

He sighed. “Your mother has me watching these segments on TV, I might’ve picked up a few things.”

You leaned your head on his shoulder. “Did he leave?”

“I gave him the keys to my mustang. It’s the least I could do after my daughter kidnapped him. He also agreed to not press charges.”

So that was it, eh? Sat in your old room, hugging your father, regrets started to fill your thoughts. Did you like Levi? You weren’t sure. One thing was clear though. You needed to stop this continuous cycle of hurting yourself and the people around you. You had to do better.

Finale:

It’s been two months since the whole kidnapping of Levi thing. You’re back to work at Niccolo’s but you’ve been promoted to manager. You deleted all the dating apps from your phone after you promised to put yourself first.

You were in love with Levi. You figured this out pretty quickly because of many sleepless nights. You wondered how he was. What he was up to. Who he was with. If he thought of you. You shook your head. No. You’re not doing this. Putting yourself first, remember?

Sasha’s voice pulled you from your deep thoughts. “Are you excited to be off for the next couple of days?” She asked as she cleared some plates off a table.

You looked up from your binder of paperwork. “Very. Gonna run some errands, grab groceries, clean.”

“Okay, Grandma. You’re really calming things down after your little kidnapping stint.”

You sarcastically laughed. “Yeah, turns out it’s not for me.” You shut the binder and walked around the bar. “I’ll see you in a few days, Sasha.” She waved goodbye and resumed cleaning the table.

You grabbed your essentials from the office and dragged your coat on. You clicked the light off and waved goodbye to everyone before you headed out the door, focused on digging in your purse for your keys.

Ah ha! You found the keys. You finally looked up and leaning against your car was Levi. He had on a long peacoat, his hair effortlessly styled. How could someone be so beautiful? Once he spotted you, he spood up straight and walked over to you.

“Looks like you’re making an honest living.” His gray eyes ran over your form, finally meeting your eyes.

“What-what are you doing here?”

“What does it look like? I’m here to press charges.” He pulled a white envelope from the inside pocket of his coat.

What? Seriously? Your heart sank at the thought of being arrested. “Oh. I mean, that’s only fair right?” You held out your hand, looking anywhere but him.

Expecting to feel a cold piece of paper on your hand, you felt warmth and comfort. You looked at your hand only to realize Levi was holding it. You looked at him in confusion.

“Is this what people mean when they joke a lot? If so, I should do it more often.”

You were so confused. “Huh?”

“I was kidding. I’m not pressing charges. This envelope is empty.” He shoved the envelope into his pocket. “I came here to let you know that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” He pulled you closer, until your shoes met his. “We had the most unconventional and very illegal start but it was the most fun I’ve had in years.”

You started to cry, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. “I really thought I was going to jail, you jerk.”

“Maybe next time don’t kidnap people?” He sarcastically responded while patting your head. “Hey Y/N?” His slender finger guided your face towards his. “Would you go out with me? I heard you have the next couple of days off.”

“How did you know that?” You mumbled.

He took your joined hands and pointed behind you. You turned and saw Niccolo and Sasha standing at the door of the restaurant, cheering.

“I may have asked them to play with your schedule so you would be free to go out with me.” He admitted.

You turned back to look at him and stepped closer. “What if I said no?”

A rosy hue started to appear on his face. “Then I would’ve begged until you said yes.” He pulled the same pink handcuffs you used on him out of his pocket. “Maybe even use these.”

You laughed and shook your head. “I don’t think you have to use those.”

He held a hand to his chest. “Thank God. I don’t think I’m cut out to be a criminal.”

You bit your lip and stepped even closer. “Levi?”

“Hmm?” He tossed the handcuffs onto the roof of your car.

“You don’t have to use those because you’ve already cuffed my heart. I love you.” You whispered right before you kissed him. It felt like time stopped when your lips met. Your heart pounded loudly in your chest, knees going weak. You could only focus on how soft his lips felt against yours. You wished this moment wasn’t a fragment of your fragile imagination as it felt too good to be true.

Levi pulled back for air. “Thanks for kidnapping me.” He slid his arms behind your body, caressing your back, each touch giving you the butterflies. “I love you too.” He kissed you again, hugging you close to his body.

Only you would be confessed to in the same parking lot you kidnapped an innocent man to bring back home to your family.

It really was a holiday in handcuffs.

taglist: @porcoqalliard @coffeeforday @lue-arlert @fierydiamond @sinnerofthewalls @reiner69er @usernamehere91 @fairyfuyu @sashatanaka @daichisbunny @therealbisexualjesus @pockcock @maddieschai

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman fic #attack on titan fanfic #levi attack on titan #levi snk #levi aot #captain levi #levi x y/n #levi fluff

46 notes · View notes

itsdelicate · 2 years ago

Note

hii so sorry this is late!! I literally just slept the whole day yesterdayyyy. but I'm more awake now sooooo

right?? I honestly can't even remember. I think like around folklore time? but I didn't really stick to it until after evermore-ish cause I was so busy and quarantine was a bad time lmao. ofc that's okay and THOSE ARE AMAZING CHOICES!!!! all masterpieces and ivy is one of my fav too omg. okay folklore it's always been really hard for me to pick my top songs from so here are just alike 3 ones I really really love but idk their place in my top aknsmsn: my tears ricochet, mad woman, hoax. and evermore: ttds, happiness, dorothea, coney Island, and ivy (sorry I just can't pick three they're all in number one for me lol)

OMG that's so cute and I love that it happened to u!! bash is so akdbsjns. yes yes he is!! and he's so funny and sweet too he could not be annoying. AKDNSJSHSSB OMG if you fell to the ground and screamed at seeing her irl I would NOT blame you. dying on seeing her is so valid

it's a classic!! and I heard ab the musical and really want to watch it!! that's a good choice tangled is amazing. is rapunzel ur fav disney princess then? mines mulan skdhj. I LOVE KINGSMAN SO MUCH!!! taron egerton is so good in it. and Colin firth in anything is an immediate yes for me. I loved her greatest showman!! yesss it's soundtrack is everything but honestly I'm so sick of this is me cause my school was like obsessed w it and that thing where u get bored w a song cause it plays over and over and over again happened lmao. rewrite the stars is still and always will be a bop tho. aww that's sweet and idk if I've watched it before so maybe I'll check it out!!

omg those are all so good. sweet nothing is such a rare top 5 but it's everything. ooh okay mine are prob: wcs, maroon, labyrinth, glitch, and bttws!!

thank u!! I did have a lot of fun asisnjs

random qotd: do u celebrate christmas? cause I actually don't so I thought why not ask

xxx ur secret santa

no omg that’s totally fine hehe i hope you got some good rest 😌 i’ve decided to answer this while getting my tat ahsjf so if there’s any typos pls ignore them 🤠

ooh that’s pretty recent!! i’ve been a swiftie since 2008! insane that it’s been that long?? over half my life ago 💀 were you into taylor at all before folklore/evermore? i know a lot of people who knew some of her more popular songs before that but became fans after! ivy is SO good i need that song imprinted on my brain permanently idc!! your choices are so valid mad woman makes me so elmofirememe.jpg and happiness makes me want to CRY (the irony lmao can never trust her istg)

literally omg and the entire cast is 😭 i have them all little letters with their gifts and kit looked at me right in the eye and was like thank you 🥺 i promise to read it so carefully when i get home WHEN I TELL U I WAS TRYING TO STAY ALIVE AND SIMONE oh my god quite literally gay panic™️ etc etc

the musical is so good! little miss woods comma elle <3 i hope u get to see it someday!! yess she is 🥰 omg mulan is such a great choice a girlboss 😌 YES omg taron is amazing in it and colin firth <333 (which reminds me i also LOVE mamma mia!) omg i totally understand ahsjf that happens with me too such a pain when you like the song as well but you get sick of hearing it over and over 😩 omg pls do if u get the time! i think it’s my fav christmas movie now :’)

omg yeah now that you say it i haven’t seen that many people rank it higher up even though everyone loves it it’s such a soft song 🥺 amazing choices glitch took some time to grow on me but i love it now but omg bttws makes me so sad but it’s such a lovely song ☹️

yay i’m glad!! and i don’t either actually hsjfk but i love the season and the Vibes around christmas time everything is so festive 🫶

answering this was such a good way to pass the time my tattoo’s almost done hehe thank you for the distraction 🥰 i hope you’re having a nice weekend!! any plans for the coming week? <3

#ask #anonymous #santaswiftie

4 notes · View notes

cacoetheswriting · 4 years ago

Text

lonely this christmas

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Warnings: mild mild cursing, mainly just fluff !!! Word Count: 2.9k Summary: Reader admits to Spencer she will be spending the holidays alone but he’s got other plans.

A/N: starting off the month of december with a christmas centred fic!! hope you like it <3

Being alone on Christmas wasn’t unfamiliar to Spencer. In fact it was pretty much the opposite. Being alone on Christmas was typical, ordinary.

The nature of his job being what it was, he usually ended up working over the holidays anyway. Therefore he never made any plans with his mom because most times he just ended up disappointing her. Being alone at Christmas was fine. Being a disappointment however, completely different story.

As years went by Diana stopped noticing his absence. Of course if Spencer was to visit her at the sanitarium over Christmas she would welcome him with open arms, but he never does. He used to feel incredibly guilty about it, but that too passed with time.

There was no indication that this year would be any different so he kept his schedule clear. However, the twenty-fifth of December approached fast. Very fast. The closer it got the more it was shaping to be the first holiday season, in a long time, the team would get to spend with their families. And even Spencer found himself considering going home to Nevada; seeing his mom.

A tab of the airline website was constantly open on his desktop. He checked it regularly; hovering over the option to buy a ticket.

That’s how you caught him one day.

You observed from your own desk as Spencer leaned back in his chair, one hand still holding the mouse. The wheels inside his brain clearly turning; evaluating all of the options and possible outcomes.

“Hey, doctor.” You called out grabbing his attention. “If you spend any more time thinking about whether you should go home for Christmas, all the good seats will be gone.”

He chuckled. “I guess you’re right.” “As always.” You shot him a playful wink as he turned to once again look at his screen.

“There. Bought.” Spencer exclaimed after a brief moment of silence. “My mom will be happy.” “When was the last time you seen her?” You asked curiously. “It has been more than six months at this stage.” He answered while standing up.

“Coffee?” He gestured to the empty mug on your desk. You nodded. “You read my mind.”

The two of you walked towards the kitchenette in the office. It was quite late on a Friday night meaning everyone had cleared out for the weekend. Only the usual suspects remained; Spencer and you.

“When was the last time you were home for Christmas?” “Three years ago. How about you?” Spencer asked, tilting his head slightly to look at you. “Oh, I honestly don’t even remember.” You replied shrugging your shoulders.

“So your family must have been happy to hear you were getting the chance this year to spend the holidays with them.” The brunette doctor switched on the coffee machine and leaned against the wall while you elegantly hopped up onto the counter.

“Actually, I didn't tell them.”

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows. “How come?”

He watched intently as you chewed on your bottom lip - a bad habit you failed miserably to break. In that second of silence you wondered whether you should tell him the truth. He was always so open with you, honest. It would only be fair to repay him with the same sincerity. So you took in a quick breath, and exhaled it quietly before looking up to meet his amiable gaze.

“My mom and I got into this huge fight a couple of weeks ago. She tried to set me up with this guy because in her eyes it’s unacceptable that I’m single. She doesn't think it’s right that my younger sister is getting married next summer and I haven't had one relationship in my life that lasted longer than a month.” A soft sigh escaped you. “I told her to butt out, using much harsher language than that of course.” Your mouth twirled into a smile; trying to make light of this conversation. Being no stranger to your frequent use of profanity Spencer smirked.

“We haven't spoken since. She hasn't formally invited me over for the holidays which she always does, even if she knows I won’t be able to make it, and whenever I bring it up with my dad or my siblings they change the topic so.” You shrugged once again while nervously dangling your legs. “It’s easier not to go.”

Spencer nodded slowly, taking in all of the information you just unloaded. Shaking your head you reached over to grab the coffee pot and poured some into your mug.

“I’m sorry doctor. I didn’t mean to just lay it all on you like that.”

He stepped towards you. “Don’t be.” Holding his own cup in front of him, he smiled kindly. “Thank you for telling me.” You began to pour the black hot liquid into his mug; a slight shake to your hand. “Thank you for listening.” “Anytime.”

Spencer placed his full cup on the counter beside you and began to rummage through the cupboards in search for sugar. “Y/N I gotta ask, and obviously if you don't want to answer me you don't have to.” He cleared his throat as you took a sip of your bitter black coffee. “Why didn’t you want to go on a date with the man your mom suggested?”

Once he successfully located the sugar, he straightened his shirt and plopped two cubes into the hot beverage. He offered you one but you shook your head, taking another sip.

“I get that it’s not really my place but it just seems a small price to pay for being able to spend Christmas with your loved ones.”

“If you must know doctor, I prefer to meet people through work. Prison systems and such.” You joked, a wide smile gracing your features. Spencer rolled his eyes. “And how is that going for you?” “Surprisingly well. I have a date shortly after we’re back from the Christmas break.” He arched his brow and smiled at you; playing along as you continued. “Solid guy. Only murdered five people.”

You beamed at the brunette doctor who was grinning back. “Maybe I should consider adding prisons to my dating pool.” You let out an over-exaggerated gasp and placed your free hand over your chest. “Is doctor Spencer Reid really on the market?”

Spencer shook his head. His light curls bouncing finely, matching his every move. He lowered his lips to the brim of his mug and took a sip of his coffee before focusing on you. “No, but for the right girl I’d consider it.”

Without thinking you raised your free arm and adjusted his tie. Flattening down the edge of his collar, you could feel his eyes on you. Yet for some reason you were suddenly afraid to look up and meet his gaze. Strange. Or maybe not so strange.

“Lucky girl.” You said in a mere whisper. Letting your hand fall, you stepped off the counter with a light bounce. Spencer cleared his throat and the two of you walked back to your seats.

The next few hours were spent working in silence. You tried to focus on the mountain of paperwork on your desk, yet instead found yourself glancing at the young doctor every other second - secretly hoping he would also be peeking up at you. And he was. Just not when you were looking at him.

“Y/N if you want you can come with me to Nevada, spend Christmas with me and my mom. ” Spencer proposed out of the blue. He got up out of his chair and grabbed his jacket, slowly putting it on. You smiled at him. “Thank you doctor but I will honestly be okay alone.” Pause. “Plus, I wouldn't want to interfere.”

He was about to protest, say you wouldn't be interrupting, but he bit his tongue. He didn't want to seem pushy. “If you change your mind, let me know.” He reached for his bag and threw the strap over his head. “Just do it quickly or all the good seats will be gone.” He teased. You giggled. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. ”

The brunette agent hesitated. He swayed on his heel for a moment before approaching your desk. “Can I give you a ride home?” He asked, eyes locking with yours. “There’s still a couple of things I want to get done but thank you for the kind offer.” Spencer nodded. A faint look of disappointment appeared on his face. “Goodnight Y/N.” “Goodnight doctor.”

Christmas was upon you in the blink of an eye. On the last day before break the team exchanged Secret Santa presents before enjoying a pizza party. This year you had Penelope who squealed over her gift as everyone watched in amusement; you included. Resting against the wall, you observed as the blonde jumped around the room with joy. Her smile made you smile.

“Good job on Penelope’s gift.” Spencer appeared beside you holding two plastic cups filled to the brim with eggnog. He handed you one before making himself comfortable next to you, his arm pressed gently to yours. “I don’t know what you're talking about doctor.” You responded, tilting your head slightly to look at him.

“I like your Christmas sweater.” A small smile circled your lips as you reached out to flick the little bell sown onto the top of the Santas hat on his jumper. Spencer chuckled. “Thank you. You know, I really couldn't decide between this or the one with the Home Alone reference.” “Ah, the trusted Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal sweater.” “That would be the one, yes.” The two of you beamed at each other.

“I’m surprised you know what Home Alone is doctor.” You teased, nudging him playfully in the arm. Spencer laughed. “If I’m being honest, I was more intrigued by the booby traps than the plot of the movie.” He retorted as you sipped on the eggnog; slightly rolling your eyes at his response. “Of course you were. Don’t tell me you tested them out too?”

He averted his gaze without responding, clearly a little embarrassed. “Well...”

You couldn't help but giggle. Slowly, you leaned in towards him so that your lips were now at his ear. The brunette agent shivered as your hot breath hit his skin, however he didn't move away.

“Don’t worry doctor, I did too.” You whispered.

Instantly, he turned to look at you once again. His face was now inches away from yours, and as he stared oddly into your eyes the air caught in your throat. The two of you hovered right there for a moment, not moving and quite soundless, simply feeling each other's presence - as if there was no-one else in the room, no party.

Eventually you broke the eye contact and took a step to your right, moving away from him. Suddenly feeling timid, you took another sip of your beverage while your free hand ran through your hair. Spencer also looked away. His mind racing a million miles per hour; he should have kissed you, right? No. Not in front of all these people, your colleagues. That would be bad. Unprofessional. Would you have even wanted him to kiss you? Did you like him like that? He hoped you did.

The party soon drew to a close. You were lost in conversation with Emily while Spencer was trying to teach Morgan and Rossi some card tricks. Your gaze kept averting in the direction of the young doctor every once in a while; Emily of course noticed. “Tell me again why you’re not going to Nevada with our resident genius?” A puzzled look now present on your face. “How did you-”

“Reid told Morgan who told Garcia who told me.” She interrupted. You laughed at the ridiculousness of what she just came out of her mouth. “It’s like I’m in high school all over again.” She laughed under her breath.

There was a brief moment of silence.

“So, why aren’t you going?” Emily pried. A quiet sigh escaped your lips. “Like I told him, I don’t want to interfere.” She rolled her eyes; not buying into your bullshit. “He wouldn't have invited you-” “Fuck, please I don’t want-” She raised her hands in front of her. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry.”

Glancing at the time, you excused yourself wishing Emily a wonderful and happy Christmas. Quickly and quietly, you headed to your desk and put on your winter coat. As you grabbed your handbag you turned to face the remaining partygoers: “Happy holidays everyone!”. Your eyes briefly locked with Spencers who shot you a shy smile as you mouthed ‘Merry Christmas doctor.’ before hurrying out the door.

Two days later it was the twenty-fifth of December. You woke up on your couch, having fallen asleep during Christmas movie marathon, to the sound of your phone ringing.

Yawning, you reached for the device. Spencer. Answering, you pressed it to your ear and croaked; “Hello.”.

“I hope I didn't wake you.” “You did actually.” You responded yawning once again and gradually scrambling to your feet. You ambled towards the kitchen, straight for the coffee maker. “But I could never be mad at you doctor.” “I’m glad to hear that.”

There was a short pause.

“How are you?” He asked, his voice kind. “I’m okay, no need to worry about me. Shit-” “Y/N?”

“Sorry. I just realised I’m out of coffee grounds.”

Spencer chuckled on the other line. “It’s not funny doctor. I’ve no coffee and everything is closed because it’s Christmas.” “You could always switch to tea for the day.” Rolling your eyes, you smirked. “Right, because I’m such an avid tea drinker.”

There was another short pause.

“How was your flight? How’s Nevada? How’s your mom?” You asked changing the topic, making conversation. The young doctor didn't respond. “Hey, are you there?” The line cut-off. Weird.

‘He’ll call back later.’, you thought and headed for your bathroom.

An hour later you were showered and dressed. You switched on the lights on your poorly decorated Christmas tree and were about to make yourself comfortable on the sofa when a knock on the door caught your attention. You scurried over, without looking through the peephole to see who it was, you opened it.

“Spencer.”

“Merry Christmas Y/N.”

The brunette doctor smiled as you furrowed your brows. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in Nevada.”

“I was. I got back early this morning.”

He waited for you to invite him in before shimmying passed. He set down two tote bags on the kitchen counter before turning to look at you once again. Lost for words, you locked the door and approached the young doctor. Slowly you peeked inside the bags. “Supplies.” He simply stated while taking off his coat.

“You didn’t really think I’d let you spend Christmas alone, did you?”

Your heart skipped a beat. “You didn't have to do this doctor.” “I know.” He shrugged before reaching into one of the bags and unpacking the items. “I wanted to.” He held up a bag of coffee grounds and you couldn't help but giggle delicately.

“Thank you.” Your fingers brushed his as you grabbed the bag sending a shiver down your spine. Spencer froze feeling the sensation too. Nervously, he let his hand fall but the half-smile on his face remained.

“Where did you get this stuff anyway?” You asked as you walked around to the coffee machine. “I packed what I had at home.” Nodding, you began to prepare two cups. As the appliance whirred, you turned in your spot. “What about your mom? Wouldn't she have wanted to spend Christmas Day with you?”

Spencer continued to unpack the bags, neatly placing each item on the counter in front of him. “We spent all of yesterday together.” Pause. “And besides, she’s the one that urged me to come here.” He peered up at you, resting his palms down on the kitchen counter. The second his hazel eyes locked with yours, the flush of your cheeks turned a slender pink.

Not really thinking you ushered back towards him. The brunette doctor watched you attentively. Gently, you placed one hand on top of his and gave it a tender squeeze. “Lucky me.” You whispered staring deep into his eyes.

Spencers smile spread wider in unison with yours. After a few seconds of pure comfortable silence, he cleared his throat. “Do you think your prisoner boyfriend would mind if I asked you out on a date?” A faint giggle escaped your lips as the shade of your jowl turned from pink to bright red. “Even if he does-” You took another step towards Spencer, closing the space between you. “-I think you could handle him.”

Spencer chuckled. Using his free hand, he placed a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. His thumb stroked your cheek in the process and you angled into his pleasant touch.

“Thank you for being here.” You muttered, unintentionally chewing on your bottom lip.

He cupped your face as his gaze moved briefly down to your mouth before once again locking with yours. “Thank you for having me.” His voice soothing, not quite matching the fervour in his eyes.

In the space of a single heartbeat, he leaned down and his lips crushed against yours passionately. You let go of his hand and placed both your palms on his chest; tugging lightly at his shirt to try and pull him in even closer. Spencer did not waste a second, his now free arm moved elegantly around your waist.

The two of you pulled away breathlessly. He gently pressed his forehead to yours as you smiled. “Merry Christmas doctor.” “Merry Christmas Y/N.”

masterlist

434 notes · View notes

lucy90712 · 3 years ago

Text

Fabio Quartararo- Best Christmas ever

Christmas is my favourite time of year but also the most stressful part of the year. Trying to get everything sorted and buying presents for everyone is the hard part but the general atmosphere is just the best because everyone seems so much happier at Christmas time and the decorations always lift my mood too. One other thing that makes Christmas so great is having Fabio around much more as he has no races and training isn't as intense so sometimes we can go out together. Having him around means we get to go on little dates and do small little things that we never have time for during the season like baking cookies together or even having a movie marathon and not moving from the sofa all day.

Over the last couple of weeks we have been driving all over the place to deliver presents to cousins and other family members which has been fun because it has been like a really long road trip with stops in between but it has been stressful with all the driving. The trip would have been easier if we didn't take Fabio's car because it doesn't really have enough room for us with our things and all the presents we had, it doesn't help that I also dislike driving his car and with such long drives we have been switching quite a bit so I've had to do a lot of driving. We made it around all of our stops and back home in one piece and we didn't once run out of fuel which was a miracle but that was mostly due to me not allowing Fabio to get to anywhere near empty. Since our trip we haven't done much because it took a lot out of us seeing as we spent a lot of time driving and very little time sleeping so you best bet we caught up on all the missed hours of sleep.

Now its just a few days to Christmas and there is no more relaxing because I have some plans to really make the most of the holiday season which is why today we are going ice skating although Fabio has no idea. Ice skating is something I did all the time as a teenager but haven't been in so long so I'm super excited, in fact I don't think I've ever mentioned my ice skating abilities to him so I can't wait to see his reaction. It got to mid morning and I was bored of waiting so I just took initiative and dragged him up from the sofa and towards the door hoping he would get the hint that we were going somewhere.

"What are you doing?" He asked

"I have plans for us so get your shoes on and let's go" I ushered him on

"You know sometimes I wonder how your mind works like why didn't you just tell me we were going somewhere?" He questioned

"I wanted it all to be a surprise and usually you don't get any warning about surprises" I said slightly mocking him

I saw him shake his head slightly but he got ready nonetheless and we got in my car to head to the ice rink which is about 30 minutes away. Seeing as we were going to be in the car for a little while I put on Christmas music so that we could get in the mood plus who doesn't love a bit of Christmas music. Without realising Fabio started to tap his fingers on my leg where his hand rested to the beat of the music and stared out the window as if I wasn't there, I didn't mind though because I got to just admire his face without him noticing and making fun if me for it even though when he does it he won't let me make fun of him. He seemed to come back to reality when we arrived but I quickly covered his eyes so he couldn't see where we were and made him promise to keep them closed until we got to the ice rink which was just kind of a pop up one that comes about during the winter but it was good enough.

We walked over with me leading Fabio to make sure he didn't walk into anyone or anything until we were close enough for him see the rink and I allowed him to open his eyes. I watched his face intently as he worked out what I had planned and a small little smile formed on his face which I was glad about because I wasn't sure if he was going to like ice skating but he seemed pretty excited. If I thought I was excited he was ecstatic and had run off to get skates from the desk without me but I let him be and just walked over to meet him when he had got skates for the both of us. We put them on but I did the laces for him just to make sure they were tight enough because you don't want the skates to be loose as it makes it harder. Then I had to hold his hands to help him walk in them as it is pretty difficult as your feet feel so heavy and your balance is kind of off because you are walking on a thin blade but we made it to the ice in one piece.

His grip on my hands only got tighter when he stepped foot on the ice and his face was just so funny he looked so worried and happy at the same time, I tried my best to tell him how to do it with the instructions I remember my parents using when they taught me but it has kind of become second nature now so its hard to remember. Luckily he is a quick learner and he started to get better and better pretty quickly and was starting to let go of my hand slightly so he wasn't squeezing it as much anymore. Once he was more confident I let go of his hand and skated in front of him and turned around to see him struggling to catch up to me while also looking at me like I'd just walked on water or something. It was so fun teaching him little tricks and as he got better we skated around together at speed until we got tired and the skates stated to hurt our feet but first Fabio wanted to take pictures of us together, some to keep and to go in our little photo albums we have and some to go on his Instagram.

Once we went home I wanted to bake Christmas cookies so Fabio joined me in the kitchen and together we made snowman shaped cookies that had cinnamon and ginger in them making the whole house smell delicious. Baking together was probably more fun than ice skating because the whole time Fabio was stood behind me adding all the ingredients and mixing them all together with his arms around my waist. Not only is baking a lot warmer than ice skating we get to be closer and share moments just between the two of us with no one else around to watch. When our cookies were ready and cooled down Fabio got us both drinks and we snuggled up under a blanket drinking our drinks and eating almost all of the cookies but I did manage to save some to give to friends. That is basically what we did for the rest of the day just watch Christmas films and cuddle under our blanket.

~~~~~~~~~~

I was woken up this morning by Fabio laying on top of me and whispering my ear telling me it was Christmas and I had to get up, it made me giggle that he was so excited to get up and celebrate Christmas but you best bet I got up with him even though I had just woken up. He got up first seeing as he way literally laying on top of me but he offered me his hand to help me up and he also gave me this Christmas jumper that he had got for the both of us that matched and I really felt like we were that couple you see on social media all the time that just does it for the pictures but we are just like this in real life. This year we wanted to do Christmas with just the two of us but we made sure to spend plenty of time with family before Christmas, it has just been such a long and tiring year that we wanted to have a nice relaxing day. The two of us went around turning on all the Christmas lights we have which is quite a lot and meant we didn't need any other lights on because they provided a nice dim glow.

Fabio opened all the blinds and curtains as well and the sky was a nice bright blue with a few fluffy white clouds while the ground had a light coating of snow from the other night when we had a whole load of snow. It was so pretty out there and just felt so Christmassy even though it wasn't snowing I could just tell the air was going to be cold to the point that you would see your breath which I have always associated with winter days. Since the two of us were wrapped up pretty warm we grabbed shoes and went out to the garden just to see what it was like outside and I was right it was very cold but if you found somewhere where the sun was shining it was actually quite nice.

While I was standing in a patch of sun I felt something cold hit my back so I turned round to see Fabio with a mischievous grin on his face and another snowball in his hand. That was when war started and we found all the snow we could to throw at each other but eventually we ran out of snow and had to call it a draw and he came over to shake my hand as if it was a real sports match. Instead of just letting go of my hand like a normal person would do he used it as a chance to pick me up and throw me over his shoulder to head back inside, he walked all the way to the kitchen before he let me down.

In the kitchen he started on breakfast for the two of us while I started to prepare some of the food for dinner because I know I won't be able to do it all later even with Fabio's help. Once breakfast was ready he dragged me away from the kitchen so that we could eat, cooking isn't usually his thing especially breakfast but he did really well and made some delicious pancakes using the recipe I taught him that I could have sworn he would have forgotten. It made me really happy that he listened to my recipe and actually cared to remember it, sometimes it feels like I just talk to myself because Fabio is often thinking about something completely different but to know that he does listen to me even when I think he isn't made me feel appreciated.

After breakfast he came to help me cutting vegetables and putting things in the oven so they would be ready for later although I did keep an eye on him the whole time just to make sure he wasn't going to cut himself because it has happened before and it was a disaster with a lot of swearing and freaking out from both of us. Since that time he has been much more careful with a knife but I still don't fully trust him but he is more than fine I just worry about keeping him safe. Together we managed to get everything done pretty quickly which meant we had most of the rest of the day to spend with each other doing whatever we want. The first thing I did was go and get all of his presents because I couldn't wait any longer and he could obviously tell what I was doing because he came to the bedroom with me and got presents out of his wardrobe as well, he may also have helped me reach the ones I stupidly put out of reach.

We went back to the living room and settled down on the floor leaning against the sofa with a blanket over our legs, not sure why we didn't just sit on the sofa it just felt like we were little kids excited to open our presents early on Christmas morning but instead we were adults doing the same thing. I made him open his presents from me first because I was really happy with everything that I got and he obliged with my request. Some of his gifts were simple things that I knew he would like but the last one was something more special that I spent a while getting all together. He opened it and pulled out the book and looked through the pages, I had made him a little scrapbook that detailed a bunch of moments from our time not just as a couple but when we were friends as well because I love those memories just as much.

"This is beautiful y/n but it must have taken you forever I mean I don't think I've seen all of these pictures before" he said

"Yeah I got some of family and friends" I said

"Let me guess that the picture of our first kiss was taken by Tom" he said

"Yeah and when I asked him if he had any pictures he sent me so many of that day but that one was the best" I said

The two of us looked through the photos together and we reminisced together about all of the moments we have shared together. There was also some blank pages at the end for us to hopefully add to in to in the future when we get engaged and then married and even have children because I can't imagine doing those thing with anyone else. He put the book down after looking through the pages and put an arm around my waist and kissed me all over my face before pressing one last sweet kiss to my lips. Next thing I knew he had piled up presents on my lap but was handing me them so that I could open them in the order he wanted. He got me a bunch of really nice things that I knew he had thought about which is what I appreciate the most about gifts.

When I thought I had opened all of the presents he handed me one more little square present which turned out to be a box when I took the wrapping paper off of it. I opened the box and there was a beautiful silver ring with a pretty diamond on it, he took the box from my hands and got down on one knee in front of me. As soon as he did that I could feel my hands shaking and my eyes filling with tears knowing exactly what was happening but still not quite believing it.

"Y/n I couldn't imagine living my life without you and all of the best times in my life involve you and I want that to continue for the rest of my life so will you make me the happiest person alive and marry me?" He asked

"Y-yes" I managed to splutter out

He slid the ring on my finger which is when it really sunk in that we were engaged and we would be getting married at some point in the future, just a few minutes ago I thought about adding those moments to the scrapbook of pictures and now we actually get to do that. A few tears slipped down my face but they were tears of pure joy that I just couldn't contain, Fabio wiped the tears from my face and getting close enough to my face that I could lean forward and kiss his lips as a way of showing my happiness without using words because I simply couldn't get any out. I stared at the ring for a good few minutes in silence before finally regaining the ability to speak and telling Fabio how truly in love with him I am and how excited I am to get married so that we can be together for the rest of our lives not that we wouldn't of been but it feels more official now.

Together we took a few pictures some to send to family and some to eventually put out to tell people the news but also some to go in the scrapbook which we printed out right away and stuck in there together. For most of the images I wrote little notes next to them explaining them or just simply writing a nice message so for this one we both wrote little things to remember this moment by. Fabio wrote down exactly what he said when he asked me and I wrote about how it happened so when we look back it should bring us right back to the exact moment so we can experience it the same even when we get old.

This really has been the best Christmas ever I don't think I could have wished for a better day and its not even over yet.

#fabio quartararo #fabio quartararo fluff #motogp #MotoGP one shots #motogp imagines #motogp fluff #el diablo

20 notes · View notes

2dmenenthusiast · 4 years ago

Text

Warmth - a Bakugou x Reader Christmas special

its finally done hhhhhh I love how I was just like “Oh yeah I’ll do a short little fic for Christmas” and then I ended up typing this long ass fic. I mean, its not that long but it took me days to write cuz I lack motivation always so it feels long lmao. Anyways, haven’t wrote for my explodey boy bakugou yet so here it is! Let me know if I gave the reader any specific pronouns or features by accident and I’ll fix it right away! I hope you all enjoy! Please feel free to reblog if you wanna give my fic more exposure, I'd really appreciate it 😚

Summary: You get caught in the middle of a snowstorm, and when you get home, you’re desperately craving the warmth of your exploding, ragey boyfriend.

Word count: 3.3K

Warnings/other info: swearing, itty bitty reference to sexy times, spoiler for Bakugou’s hero name, just a lot of fluff (you guys are so mean to each other tho lmao)

You hated winter. Actually, scratch that. Let’s rephrase. You hate snow. No, you had nothing against the actual season. Winter brought you cute Christmas movies and catchy songs, as well as the gift-giving holiday itself. However, snow was a demon, and it could fuck right off. Especially when it was blowing directly into your face like it was now, your snow-covered boots trudging through the thick snow as you held grocery bags in each of your gloved hands. Even though you were wearing a thick winter coat and hat, and had your scarf covering half of your face, you felt like you were about to shiver out of your own skin and god you could barely fucking see with all of this snow going directly into your eyes.

“‘It’s right down the street, y/n, just walk there.’ What am I, fucking stupid?” you muttered.

You had figured it would be better to just walk to the store rather than using up gas or spending money on transportation, and fuck were you dumb for making that decision. Bakugou had warned you too, taking one look outside and telling you it would be better to just go get groceries tomorrow. But noooo, you just had to get it done today. And honestly, it looked like the roads were gonna be shitty for the next few days, so better now than later. Speaking of the roads, there were barely any cars driving on them, which was expected. The plow didn’t look like it had come through yet. However, a vehicle slowly came towards you, going under the speed limit to avoid sliding on the road, and you could hear The Christmas Song playing loudly from inside as it passed. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire? Yeah, the only thing going to be roasting on an open fire was your ass the second you walked through the door. And by an open fire, you meant the heater, which Bakugou better have on full fucking blast, or else you swore you were going to wring his neck.

As your apartment building became closer in view, you doubled your efforts and tried to speed up your pace, but the snow made it almost impossible when it was almost past your shins. Still, you grit your teeth and pushed through, letting out a relieved groan when you walked through the front door of your building and felt heat blast you in the face. Releasing a sigh, your grip tightening on the grocery bags as you traversed up the stairs to your apartment, and when you jammed your keys in the lock and pushed through the door, it was just as you suspected. Too fucking cold.

“He’s dead. He’s a dead man. He knew I was going out in the fucking arctic tundra that is the city right now, but he chose to keep the thermostat at fucking 70 degrees?!” you thought, grumbling to yourself as you set the bags down in the kitchen and marched over to the thermostat.

“Hey, take your fucking boots off, will you? You’re tracking snow.”

You raised your middle finger in the direction the voice came from, not even looking back

at your boyfriend as you turned the dial of the thermostat and watched the numbers go up until you were satisfied. Turning to look at Bakugou with a glare, you said something that he could tell was filled with frustration and anger, but he could barely hear you when you were talking through your scarf, raising an eyebrow as if to silently say, “what the fuck are you saying?” Rolling your eyes, you toed off your boots and hung up your coat, taking off your gloves and hat next before unwrapping your scarf from around your face and neck.

“I said you’re a fucking maniac. How are you not freezing?” you asked, hurrying past Bakugou to your shared bedroom so that you could change into something warmer.

Bakugou just scoffed, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest as he watched you change. “You remember what my quirk is, right?”

Slipping one of Bakugou’s large hoodies over your head, you let out a sigh. “Oh right, I forgot that along with the ability to blow shit up, you’re also a walking heat box,” you said, throwing the hood over your head as you turned to your boyfriend with a small pout.

He just looked at you with an amused smirk, a single eyebrow quirked as he looked you up and down. He had to admit, he’d never get tired of seeing you in his clothes. Though he quickly became worried when a mischievous grin appeared on your face, and he had no time to react when you were running forward and slipping your hands underneath his shirt, wrapping your arms around his bare torso.

“Gah! Shit, you’re fucking freezing!” he yelled, trying to push you off of him, but you just tightened your hold as you buried your face in his chest. “Hey! Don’t you get comfy, get the hell off of me.”

“But you’re so waaarm,” you whined, looking up at him with cute puppy dog eyes. You weren’t lying, he was very warm, and you’d be damned if you pulled away from him anytime soon.

Letting out a growl through clenched teeth, Bakugou gripped your thighs in his hands and suddenly lifted you, and you let out a noise of surprise, not expecting your feet to come off the ground as your legs automatically wrapped around him so that you wouldn’t fall. Carrying you back into the living room, he threw you on the couch and pinned you with a glare when you tried to move, not walking away until he was certain you wouldn’t get up from that couch. Once he turned his back to you, you sat up on your knees and looked over the back of the couch as Bakugou walked into the kitchen, bending over the reach into one of the bags, and holy fuck his ass in those sweatpants was downright fucking sinful. As the cool kids would say, he was, “double cheeked up on a Thursday afternoon.”

“It’s Saturday, and stop staring at my ass, you damn perv,” Bakugou grumbled without looking back at you, and you pursed your lips as you raised your hands in surrender.

“Not my fault you’re so dummy thicc.”

“For the love of god, stop watching TikTok.”

You just laughed and stood from the couch, walking into the kitchen and leaning against the counter as you watched your boyfriend put the groceries away. “You don’t have to do that, you know. I can put them away.”

“Nonsense. You were just out freezing your ass off in the snow. Now get back on that couch before I throw you on it again,” he said.

You smiled at the kind gesture. While Bakugou was often rude and uncouth, not making an effort to hide his frustration or disdain for certain people or things, there was a soft spot deep down in there, and you were lucky enough to be one of the few people he showed it too. Of course, it was hardly willingly. You were persistent as hell, getting under his skin the moment you started going to UA with him. However, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like your persistence.

Letting out a small hum to yourself, you leaned over and pressed your lips against his cheek, his skin warming up under your touch. “You’re cute.”

A light pink dusted his cheeks as you walked back to the couch and plopped down onto the soft cushions, grabbing the fluffy blanket hanging over the back and draping it around your shoulders. No, if anyone in this relationship was cute, it was you. With the way you stole his clothes and just seemed to always make them look better, or made him his bento lunch with cute little notes inside that he secretly kept in his desk and would look at whenever he needed a little pick-me-up. You probably didn’t realize how much he noticed every little thing you did, but he did, and it made him fall more in love with you every day. Of course, he wasn’t very eloquent and it was hard for him to express how he felt with words, but he was a believer in how actions spoke louder.

“Hey, dipstick! You almost done? I’m about to freeze my ass off over here and I need my cuddle buddy,” you yelled from the living room, and Bakugou’s eyebrow twitched as he scoffed, running a hand over his face. You just had to ruin it, didn’t you?

“Yeah, yeah, wait a sec, would you? Not my fault your body can’t regulate temperature like a normal fucking human being.”

Your head popped up, looking over the couch at your boyfriend with an incredulous look on your face. “‘Normal?!’ What about you is normal, Mr. I-get-unnecessarily-ragey-and-blow-shit-up? Hm?”

“Oh and you think you’re so normal when you bought fucking ice cream in the middle of goddamn winter,” he said, holding up the tub of ice cream you recently bought on your trip to the store.

“Ice cream is good for any time of the year! And you have no room to judge me. It could be a hundred degrees out and you’ll be scarfing down a bowl of spicy ramen like it’s your last meal.”

“You don’t hear me complaining about it though, do you?”

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest as you pouted. “Jerk. you know, I hope your quirk just one day combusts and you blow up your own face.”

“Fuckface.”

“Asshole.”

“Dumbass.”

“Mama’s boy.”

Eyes widening, he dropped the last grocery bag on the floor and stomped over to the couch. If you were any normal person, you probably would’ve been cowering in fear just from the pro-heroes intense stair. But you had been with Bakugou for a while now, and what “normal” person would date someone whose first draft of their hero name was Lord Explosion Murder anyway? He placed his hands on the top of the couch, looking down at you as you stared up at him with a shit-eating grin on your face.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

“Oh, I think you heard me.”

“Take it back or I’m blowing up all of your Deku shirts.”

You gasped dramatically, placing both of your hands over your heart as you gaped at your boyfriend before narrowing your eyes. “You wouldn’t.”

He didn’t say anything, simply raising an eyebrow at your challenge before walking towards your shared bedroom without another word. Oh. Oh, he was being serious. Scrambling off the couch, you ran after him.

“No! Nononono, wait. Ugh, All right!”

He turned to look at you, one of your shirts of the Pro hero Deku held tight in his fist and a smirk on his face that meant trouble. You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest as you looked at the nearby wall, not wanting to see that stupid little grin on his stupid face.

“You… You’re- not a mama’s boy,” you muttered under your breath, coughing to make the words more unintelligible.

“I’m sorry, what did you say? I think I feel my hand warming up a bit.”

“Ugh, fine! You’re not a mama’s boy. Happy?”

Grin widening, he dropped the shirt and walked over to you in long strides, closing the distance quickly and placing his hands on your waist. “See? Was that so hard?”

“Absolutely teeth-pulling,” you said, dropping your head on his chest as he chuckled, bringing a hand up to gently pat your head. Of course, there wasn’t a lot about you two that was so different from each other. You both had a mutual hatred for backing down. He then looked over at the bed where the green-haired hero’s smiling face stared back at him, and he scowled.

“Why do you have so many shirts of that damn nerd anyway?”

“I don’t have that many, Katsu.”

“You have like ten. You don’t have any merch of me.” His grip on you tightened possessively, and if he wasn’t aware of it, you certainly were, smiling against his chest before lifting your head.

“Why would I need merch when I have the real life thing right here?” you asked, poking at his abs. “Besides, it’s not like I bought them. They were gifts whenever he had new designs come out.”

“And you couldn’t just refuse?”

“Even if you have some weird tension with him, that doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with him, dummy.” You lightly flicked his forehead and slipped out of his grasp as you walked back out to the living room, and he followed close behind with furrowed brows.

“Weird tension? The hell’s that supposed to mean?”

You just looked at him with raised eyebrows and shrugged, dropping down onto the couch before pulling out your phone. It took him a second to understand what you were getting at, and when he did, he wanted to vomit up his lunch.

“Oh, you’re sick.”

You threw your hands up. “I’m not saying I ship it! Your Twitter followers certainly do, though.”

“Yeah well, they’re all weirdos anyway,” he said, sitting down next to you and throwing an arm around your shoulders, and you immediately relaxed into him, content with the warmth he seemed to produce 24/7. “The only person I wanna be…” he grimaced, shaking his head, “shipped with is you.”

You smiled, looking up at Bakugou as you placed your hand on his chest. “I think people would if we didn’t constantly insult each other while we’re out in public. And you know, if you were actually affectionate with me.”

“I’m affectionate!” he yelled, arm tightening around you. “Those damn extras don’t need to see that shit anyway. Not like it’s any of their business.”

You chuckled and moved to straddle Bakugou’s thighs, hands taking their time as you dragged them up his muscular torso and splayed your fingers over his chest. You admired the man below you with a small smile on your face, his hands moving so that they rested on your thighs, giving them a small squeeze, and you watched his tongue swipe over his bottom lip as he seemed to look at you with that same red-eyed intense stare that he always did. Leaning down, you placed a slow kiss against his lips but pulled away before he could deepen it, and he chased your lips with a quiet growl as you let out an amused huff.

“Would you…” You could tell he was hesitant, never knowing how to properly express what he wanted to say, especially when he was feeling vulnerable. You placed your lips against his cheek, gently holding his face in your hands to try and reassure him. “Would you like me to be more affectionate in public? Would that… make you happy?”

Brows furrowing, your lips formed into a frown as you sat back, hands slipping into his. “Katsu… we’ve been together since our high school days. If I had any complaints, wouldn’t I have voiced them by now?” He opened his mouth, but you didn’t give him the chance to respond, grabbing his face again. “Listen to me for a second. Despite what people think about your rough edges and your unpleasant attitude-”

“Watch it.”

You smiled. “I wouldn’t change a damn thing about you. Your random outbursts, your sailor mouth, your shitty nicknames for all of our friends. Those things are what make you Bakugou Katsuki. Not some shitty tabloid with that stupid headline that’s like “Ten things to know about Pro Hero Dynamight!” or whatever. They’re all bullshit. No one sees the side of you that I get to. No one sees the big softie that you really are.” You lightly poked Bakugou’s chest with a giggle, and he swatted at your hand.

“Hey, I’m not soft, you dumbass,” he grumbled, and you just laughed as you leaned into him and wrapped your arms around his neck, resting your forehead on his shoulder.

“Keep telling yourself that.”

You heard him sigh and felt his arms wrap around you, happy in his strong embrace. There was nowhere you felt safer than in Bakugou’s arms. They were always there to hold you at night, or to pull you into a hug when you were feeling upset. You loved his arms, but you loved him in general. Everything about him always had butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. When he would gaze at you like you were the only other person in the world, or when he’d come home after a particularly rough day, and you’d offer to help him relieve some stress, but he’d insist that the only thing on his mind at the moment was you underneath him while he memorized and tasted every inch of you. Yeah, you were a love-struck idiot, but so was he. Maybe even more so.

You were brought out of your thoughts when the lights started to flicker before going out, and you waited a few seconds for them to come back on, but they never did. Are you fucking kidding me?

“Um… Katsuki?”

“Hm.”

“Please tell me our power didn’t just go out.”

“Our power didn’t go out.”

You smacked his chest. “Don’t be a smartass.”

“Then don’t say stupid shit.”

You let out a groan before whining out his name, and he sighed as he lifted you off of him and walked into the kitchen to grab his phone. It was like you could already feel the cold seeping back into the apartment through the cracks in the doors and windows, and you shivered as you grabbed the blanket from before and wrapped it around your body. Bakugou then came back into the living room, letting out a sigh and tossing his phone onto the couch.

“Some idiot driving in this shit-storm hit a pole and took down a transformer. Power won’t be back until the morning.”

Great. Just magnificent. Who the fuck decides to drive in a snowstorm? Letting out a huff, you stood and went to the kitchen to find a lighter before lighting every candle you two had, hoping they would provide enough light for the night. After making sure at least one candle was in every room, you went back to find Bakugou gathering all the blankets he could and raised an eyebrow.

“What? We both know our comforter won’t be enough to warm your shivering ass.”

“But I have you, don’t I? My personal heater,” you said, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet as you smiled.

Bakugou scoffed. “Yeah, can’t wait for you to suck all the heat out of me.”

“Oh piss off. You love my cuddles.”

Before he could give you another snarky remark, you turned on your heel and walked to your bedroom, pulling back the covers and immediately tucking yourself underneath them. But of course, it wasn’t warm enough. When Bakugou walked into the room, you stuck a hand out from under the blanket and made a grabbing motion, and he just chuckled at you before throwing an extra blanket on top of you and climbing underneath the covers to lay next to you. You immediately sought him out, desperate for his warmth as you wrapped yourself around him and nuzzled into his chest, and his arms looped around you as he tangled your legs together.

“Christ, you’re fucking freezing,” he grumbled.

“Shut up and hold me tighter,” you said voice muffled as you spoke into his chest, and he did as you asked, his arms tightening around you as you let out a content sigh.

Relaxing in the silence, you felt yourself begin to grow more tired with each second that passed, and your boyfriend seemed to relax as well, which was rare for him. You both were perfectly content, dozing off in each other’s embrace.

“... So should I get a mistletoe for the apartment?”

“Dear god, shut the fuck up and go to sleep.”

#bakugou imagine #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #mha imagine #bnha imagine #mha x reader #katsuki bakugou #dynamight #bakugou fluff #mha christmas #mha fanfic #bakugo x reader

221 notes · View notes

troubatrain · 4 years ago

Text

four times you talked about having a baby + one time you did - k. hayes

a/n: here’s a very cute fluffy 4+1 from my old blog! :)

You watched Kevin on the floor, listening to the babbling toddler in front of him, laughing along with whatever his niece was trying to tell him. His sister had made the trip down to New York, and was out getting lunch with a friend while you and Kevin had offered to babysit. It was the first time you were meeting any members of his family, and you’d only been dating for a few months - but watching Kevin with his niece was doing something to you.

You pull your phone out of your pocket, snapping a photo of the two, “This is too cute.”

“You’re too cute,” Kevin says instantly, his niece walking over to you to be picked up, a grin finding its way to Kevin’s face.

You pick her up kissing the top of her forehead, “I think she’s cuter than both of us.”

You spend the rest of the afternoon in Kevin’s apartment, playing house with his niece. Watching Kevin run around his apartment with his niece was straight up endearing, and you were happy that she liked you too. She’d fallen asleep snuggled between you and Kevin, a couple of goldfish stuck to her Uncle’s shirt and she rested on your lap. By the time Kevin’s sister and her headed back to their hotel, you were absolutely exhausted - not even considering the idea of headed to your own place and opting to crash at Kevin’s.

“Do you think you want kids?” Kevin asks, plopping down next to you into bed, blue eyes looking at you full of hope.

You’d never really thought much about having kids, just thinking that at the time you were too young. It was something you wanted one day but you didn’t know when you wanted that. You’d just started your career and your relationship with Kevin was new but the way he took care of his niece and the way he always took care of you was starting to make you think a little differently.

“Yeah, one day. Don’t get any ideas though,” You scold, waving your finger at Kevin.

“I know, but one day sounds good,” Kevin says, pulling you into his chest.

Kevin lulls you to sleep that night, talking about the future he wants with you. You’d get married, Kevin would prefer in Boston but he’d let you pick regardless. Maybe you’d move to the suburbs, get a house outside of the city with a yard, so you could have some space for your future children. But he told you he’d be okay staying in the city if that’s what you wanted to do. It was romantic to hear him talk about your future like that, deciding that he would just come for the ride.

II.

Kevin’s large hands were tying your skates, while you looked down at him in his stall at MSG. It was Christmas and with Christmas came the family skate that you’d grown to love. The first year, you were terrified, considering you didn’t even know how to skate and you’d only met a handful of Kevin’s teammates.

“Do you think this will be our last one here?” You whisper, low enough so none of his teammates would hear you.

It was a thought that you’d tried to push out of your mind but there was no way you could at this point. The trade deadline was coming in a few months and Kevin was certain he’d be on the trading block. You’d pushed him to talk about it about tons of times but he kept putting it off, knowing he was nervous about a move out of New York.

“If it is, we’ll make it a memorable one,” Kevin places a kiss to your lips, pulling you up to step out onto the ice.

You watch as Kevin skates around the ice, Marc Staal’s kids chasing after him in the intense game of tag they’d been playing, while you smile at him from the bench.

“He’s so good with them,” Lindsay, Marc’s wife, says to you on the bench, “I think they’re going to miss him if you guys go.”

You nod, know how many dinners Kevin’s had at their place long before you’d even started dating, “I know it’s going to happen but, we haven’t even talked about it.”

“You’d go with him no?” Lindsay asks, trying to gauge how you actually felt about it.

“I mean, yes, he’s the one but-” You start to say only to be interrupted by the woman next to you.

“Just talk to him about it,” Lindsay says, “I’m sure you guys will be okay”

That night you’d been sitting in your shared apartment, a rerun of some terrible reality TV rerun playing in front of you. Kevin was out grabbing ice cream, insisting you spent the night off snuggled up with a movie. Your mind wanders to the conversation you’d had the family skate, and how you felt watching Kevin skate around with Marc’s kids. It was what you wanted and you knew you wanted it with Kevin but you were scared of the future. You’d been so lost in your thoughts you didn’t even hear Kevin walk back into the apartment. A pint of ice cream finding its way into your hands.

“Hey Kev?” You ask, your voice small, “What are we going to do if you get traded.”

Kevin looked confused, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, am I going to stay here or do you want me to go with you?” You ask bluntly, deciding to just get to the root of what’s bothering you.

Kevin takes a deep breath, walking out of the room and into your shared bedroom. You can hear him rummaging through a dresser, or it could have been a nightstand and step back into your living room with a velvet box in his hand.

“I was planning on doing a better job at his, you know, I was going to plan a nice dinner, make sure you’d just gotten your nails done, the whole thing but I think I need to do this now,” Kevin says, dropping down to one knee, “Baby I love you, and I want to be with you. I want to have a family with you, and spend the rest of my life with you by my side - wherever that may take me. Will you marry me?”

You nod, tears threatening to spill from your eyes, flinging yourself forward to kiss Kevin, over and over again, “Did you actually just do that?”

Kevin smiles against your lips, “I’ve been hiding that since the summer.”

You pull back smiling at the man in front of you, “I can’t wait to marry you.”

Kevin grins back at you, “I can’t wait to have a family, we could be like Marc and Lindsay with all those kids running around the ice.”

The idea seemed like a dream to you, but in reality you were getting to live that life with a man who loved and cared about you. Kevin spends the night talking about your future, the plans seeming more definite than the first time he’d done that. Settling on having three kids, and a summer wedding - even mentioning you could get a dog even though he was afraid of them.

III.

You’d ended up following Kevin to Winnipeg and then to Philly easily. You’d been making an adjustment, but Philadeliphia was starting to feel like home more and more everyday. Kevin was happy and he loved his new team - which made it easier for you to follow suit. You’d both started to become acquainted with the city and you knew this was going to be a good place for the two of you.

You bounce the baby on your lip, singing a nursery rhyme while moving around your kitchen, causing Gavin to laugh. You’d ended up babysitting, Claude’s wife, Ryanne, calling you last minute to complain about their sitter canceling their date night. You and Kevin had agreed on a night in, so you offered to take their son for a few hours. You loved Gavin, and quite honestly you spend more time at games playing with him than paying attention to your fiance on the ice.

“I think we should have a boy first,” Kevin says, sitting on the island watching you with the baby.

“I don’t think that’s for us to decide Kev,” You joke, blowing raspberries into Gavin’s cheek, causing the baby to giggle, “Right Gav, tell him, he’ll be happy with what he gets.”

“What do you want?” Kevin asks, holding his arms out for you to pass him the baby.

“A boy doesn’t sound too bad,” You admit, thinking about how many outfits you’d bought for Gavin that you’d love hanging up in a nursery of your own, “What brought this up?”

“You know, we’re getting married soon, and you just look really good singing nursery rhymes in our kitchen,” Kevin admits, “And c’mon you don’t want a little me running around?”

Kevin holds Gavin next to his face with a pout, rubbing his beard onto the baby’s cheeks causing him to giggle and wiggle in Kevin’s enormous hands. It was a sight for sure, and one that often made you think about just letting Kevin knock you up before the wedding.

“I’m not going to be pregnant at our wedding,” You scold, “I’ve spent too much time planning to not be able to drink.”

“You’ve got a good point, we’ll make a honeymoon baby,” Kevin assures you, as if you had a choice.

IV.

Newlywed life was coming to a halting stop the second you touched down in Philadelphia. The summer of bliss that you’d just experienced was about to be burst in with the reality of a new season starting. You’d bought a new place, the space in the city was far more family friendly than the apartment you’d been living in last season. There were plenty of bedrooms, and some outdoor space that still resided in the city. You’d finally finished unpacking, stepping back after hanging up the last of your wedding photos in the living room.

“They look good there,” Kevin says, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you off the couch, spinning you around, “You were right, I do like this place.”

Kevin wasn’t entirely on board with moving, but you knew he wanted to start a family and you wanted somewhere in Philly that you would come back to - a real permanent home. It took a little convincing but you managed to get him to crack while you were on your honeymoon.

You had one surprise that came with the house, and it sat in a box in your kitchen. Inside was a pregnancy test - that you’d taken a day before you moved down to Philly for the season. A very tiny jersey, with your now shared last name on the back, a bright number thirteen stitched onto the back. And to complete a very small stuffed Gritty that you had bought on impulse one day. You were excited to finally share the news with Kevin, keeping it a secret while you both handled all the craziness that came with moving and training camp coming up.

“I have something for you,” You say, slipping out of his arms and grabbing the box from the kitchen - dropping it into his lap, “Open it.”

You were on the edge of your seat watching him open the box and pulling the small jersey out, looking down at what was underneath it, “You’re pregnant?”

“I’m pregnant,” You confirm, placing your hand over your stomach.

“You, my wife, you’re pregnant, we’re having a baby,” Kevin blurted out, a goofy grin gracing his face, “Baby, we’re having a baby!”

You laugh, knowing this is the exact reaction you’d get out of your husband, “I take it you’re happy?”

“Easily the best thing that’s happened to me,” Kevin says, grabbing both sides of your face and kissing you over and over again. He spent the next week telling everybody he came in contact with that he was, in fact, having a baby.

Plus One

You hear a large crash, and a chorus of laughs coming from what was supposed to be your future son’s nursery. You sigh, curling your hands around the def-caf tea you’d been drinking, counting down the days until you actually start drinking coffee again, and you walk into the room, a piece of what was supposed to be a crib on the floor, and TK, Nolan and Kevin’s eyes staring at you.

“Sorry,” They all said in unison, guilt across their faces.

You give them a smile, “It’s fine guys, please be careful, and get this done.”

You decided to stay in Philly until you had the baby, the season ending when you’d hit around eight months and the stress of heading up back to Boston just seemed like too much at the time. Now, you were a week until your due date and you and Kevin had pushed everything till now in regards to setting up a place for your son. It was starting to stress you out, and honestly you were grateful for Travis and Nolan’s help, even if it was like having two kids in your house already.

You felt your stomach cramp up and a feeling in your stomach that this baby was coming, you gasp and look at Kevin, your eyes scared, “Kev - I think it’s happening.”

Nine hours of labor later, your son entered the world in a way somehow more chaotic than the way Kevin entered your life. Kevin did good, keeping his cool for most of your pregnancy and labor that you were honestly surprised. He finally cried, when he held your baby for the first time, calmly talking to the little boy who he loved probably more than he loved you. You got lucky, in all the craziness of what was going on, Travis and Nolan stayed back and somehow put together all of your furniture in the nursery, even leaving a few gifts behind for your baby boy.

“Thank you for this,” Kevin confesses, the two of you and your son being the only people left in the hospital room, exhausted from the day of visitors, “I mean I knew we’d get here, but I’m grateful we actually did.”

“I hope you’re still grateful when you have to change diapers at 3 am,” You say, knowing the hard part was definitely coming.

“I promised I’d do it, and I will,” Kevin assures you, intending on keeping the promise that you carried that baby for nine months and that he would take on the middle of the night diaper duties.

And you fell asleep that night like you did so many nights before, Kevin rambling about your future, all the things he wants to teach his son. How he can’t wait to teach him to skate, and how he can play whatever sport he wants - or it would be fine if he didn’t play sports at all. Kevin’s voice lulled you and your little family to sleep - and you knew he’d do that forever.

#kevin hayes #kevin hayes imagine #my writing #nhl imagine #nhl imagines

250 notes · View notes

miracleonice87 · 4 years ago

Text

’tis the damn season

an Auston Matthews song fic

a/n: based on the absolute masterpiece that is ’tis the damn season by Taylor Swift from evermore. This one was not on my WIP list but came over me as soon as I heard the song when the album dropped. also have no idea how it became my longest piece yet, by far (as in 12k+ whoops). obviously, I do not own any of the music/lyrics to this song nor any other I write about.

summary: Auston Matthews and his ex-girlfriend are reunited in their hometown years after their difficult breakup.

warnings: swearing, alcohol, allusions to sex, a delicate balance of angst and fluff. a bit of a slow burn, if you want to call it that.

_____

You might have been one of the few people on the planet who disagreed with the phrase, “There’s no place like home for the holidays.” At least, for the last few years, that hadn’t exactly been your sentiment.

But, you were home anyway, after a few weeks of your mother’s guilt tripping and your father’s repeated phone calls. And, admittedly, you were enjoying your quiet time at home with your parents.

After helping your mom bake a few dozen cookies for the Christmas Eve party they were throwing tomorrow night, you wandered upstairs to your childhood bedroom to change out of your flour-covered attire and maybe squeeze in a nap. An undeniable perk of staying with your parents during the holidays — so many opportunities to sleep. As you pulled on a well-worn, long-sleeved ASU t-shirt you found hanging in your closet, your phone rang.

You groaned and swore to yourself that if it was your editor again, you were quitting. She’d already interrupted your time off at least once throughout each of your three days at home thus far — your first week of vacation in the two and a half years you’d been with the fashion magazine. You rolled your eyes and reached for the sounding device on your bed, then recoiled when you saw the contact name — or rather, initials — on the screen.

Oh, god.

Even worse, the years-old contact photo popped up behind the name — a picture of the two of you lying together on the shore on your vacation four years ago, right after the draft, when you both still held onto the naive belief that nothing that had just happened in his world would change things between the two of you.

“Shit,” you whispered, covering your mouth while anxiety coursed through your veins.

You couldn’t just not answer. Right? The two of you were on decent terms, though you couldn’t quite remember the last time you’d spoken — probably seven, eight months ago. You had no good reason to ignore his call.

And after all... you were the one who had ended things.

You cleared your throat and, trying to coach yourself into mustering up some semblance of courage, quickly repeated, “Okay, okay, okay, okay.” Then, like ripping off a bandaid, you hurriedly tapped the green button and pressed the phone to your ear.

“Matthews,” you greeted curtly — tentatively.

“Kels. Come over,” Auston said abruptly, though you could hear the smile in his voice. “I know you’re home.”

You squinted and glanced around your room, racking your brain as you tried to figure out how exactly your ex-boyfriend knew your current whereabouts.

“What?” you asked, puzzled, not to mention slightly shocked that he was even interested in seeing you in person — though some part of you was, indeed, grateful for that. “How did you even know I was in Scottsdale?”

“Uh, your Instagram story, my dear,” he said, obviously amused. “You posted this morning from that new coffee shop between the Methodist church and our old school building. Remember?”

You rubbed a hand over your face, suddenly regretting adding him to your close friends list on Instagram six weeks ago after a few glasses of wine with your girlfriends.

“Fuck,” you muttered under your breath, eliciting a chuckle from Auston.

“Yeah, don’t flatter yourself thinking I sit around and stalk you, sweetheart,” he teased. “I thought about replying but I didn’t wanna slide into your DMs and look like a fuckboy.” He paused, and you opened your mouth to make a halfhearted wisecrack that you didn’t truly mean, but before you could speak, he added, “Plus you probably get so many DMs, I’m sure mine would just get lost in the shuffle.”

Again, you rolled your eyes. “Matthews,” you repeated, whinier now.

“C’mon, Kels. Just come over,” he whined back. “I just got in last night. I’m staying at my parents’ house. My sisters nearly busted down my door when they saw you were back in town, plus I know my mom and dad would love to see you.”

Suddenly, two decades’ worth of memories that you had long ago pushed to the back of your mind flooded all at once to the forefront of your consciousness. Sleepovers watching Disney Channel movies and eating peach rings with Alex and Brey. Brian scooping you up in his arms after a nasty tumble off your bike on their street, propping you on the kitchen counter as he bandaged the scrapes on your knees, Auston never leaving your side nor letting go of your hand. Road trips with Ema to watch Auston play in countless tournaments, with you doing homework in the front seat while Ema sang along to the radio. Matthews family dinners eating Ema’s famous chicken tortilla soup. Vacations and carpool and pickup basketball games and shopping for prom dresses and just the mundane, everyday routine you had been part of for so many years.

And those were just the memories that involved his sisters, his parents. You didn’t dare let your mind uncover the buried memories of him, and him alone.

You missed them. Sometimes you missed them all so much that it made your heart physically ache and your stomach drop and your mouth go dry.

So, you drew a long, deep breath, and against your better judgment, eventually said, “Okay. Fine. But you have to send me your parents’ address. I haven’t been to the new Matthews McMansion.”

Auston huffed on the other end. “So mean to me.”

_____

It was certainly a far cry from the modest old ranch-style house where Auston had spent his childhood.

As you pulled up to the sprawling estate in the bougie part of town and cut your engine, you whispered, “What the fuck am I doing here...”

And still, after a quick check of your makeup in your rearview mirror, you got out of the car, closed your door and pushed your sunglasses to the top of your head, sighing as you took in the four vehicles parked in front of yours in the roundabout driveway, none of which you had ever seen before. Audi, Mercedes, BMW, Porsche. Well, you could guess which one was Auston’s.

You walked up the stone sidewalk and slipped your aviators into your purse — it was only then that you noticed that your hands were trembling.

You cleared your throat and exhaled sharply, willing your nerves to subside, as you arrived at the door and pressed the button on its frame, sounding an elaborate chime inside.

“I got it,” you immediately heard a familiar voice call, and you took a startled step backward as you saw his figure approaching through the decorative glass panes outlining the doorway. As he pulled open the door, the flutter you’d tried your hardest to avoid feeling for three years took flight once more in your belly.

“Matthews,” you greeted again, arms crossed in front of you in hopes of hiding your shaking hands.

“Why’d ya bother to ring the doorbell, you nutjob?” Auston asked with a broad smile.

Before you could throw a snide remark back at him, he pulled you into himself, one arm snaking around your mid-back and the other hand cradling your head to his chest. Inadvertently, you exhaled contentedly, and you swore you felt Auston tighten his grip on you then. Your eyes fluttered closed, and you let yourself relax into him for longer than you had intended. He just felt so… familiar. Broad. Strong. Comforting.

He was just… Auston. A thousand things had changed for the two of you, but the way you felt in his presence hadn’t changed since you were a little girl.

You inhaled his cologne, and you noticed that he was doing just the same — breathing in your long-worn Chanel No. 5 perfume, the same kind he used to save up all year to buy you each Christmas.

At that memory, you snapped back to reality and extricated yourself from his embrace, leaving him looking slightly disappointed, though still pleased with your greeting.

“Hi,” you spoke simply as you stared up at him, then chuckled at how stupid that sounded.

“Hi,” he mimicked, head bobbling and eyes widening, causing you both to fall into a giddy fit of nervous laughter over nothing at all.

Just then, you saw Ema’s head pop out from beneath an arched opening toward the back of the house — probably leading to the kitchen, you assumed. Ema was always in the kitchen.

“I thought I heard your laugh,” she sang. You couldn’t help but beam, and Auston smiled and moved out of your way so that you had a direct pathway to his mother. Taking advantage of that, you made a beeline for the petite woman you considered your second mom, already feeling emotion bubbling up in your throat as tears blurred your vision.

“Oh, mija,” Ema said, her voice tight as she met you in the middle of the grand entryway and gathered you into her arms. “Te extrañamos,” (we miss you) she said sincerely.

Auston cupped the back of his neck and quickly looked away then, fearful that he may just shed tears of his own.

You sniffled and murmured, “Los extrañé a todos mucho,” (I missed you all so much) into Ema’s shoulder as she smoothed her hand lovingly over the back of your head.

When you finally parted, moving past the brief sadness of the reunion, Ema still held tightly to your hands, extending her arms so that she could see you better.

“You look more beautiful than ever!” she exclaimed, and you dropped your head bashfully at her compliment. “California is treating you well.”

You nodded. “For the most part,” you remarked with a sigh. Ema glanced quickly from your face to her son’s and back again, deciding not to dwell for too long on that loaded response.

“Well,” she pivoted with a click of her tongue. “You look great. Now come, come! I know Auston’s going to want to steal you away from me, not that I blame him, but I just put on some tea, so let’s sit and have some first.”

“Ma…” Auston protested lightheartedly. Ema wagged her finger at him. “Shh! Mijo! My long lost daughter has returned. Give me ten minutes for a cup of tea with her.”

Auston’s lips parted at her use of the word “daughter,” not that he should have been surprised by it, and you tossed him an animated shrug as Ema pulled you down the hallway back from whence she came. You were right — it was the kitchen, and it was a spectacular one at that.

“Holy…” you trailed off as Ema patted one of the leather barstools at the enormous island in the center of the room. You took a seat, pulling your cross body bag from your shoulder and placing it on the island, and commented, “This kitchen is incredible, Ema. I’m sure you love spending time here.”

Ema nodded and excitedly launched into stories of using all the appliances and gadgets she had never owned before, walking back to the teakettle on the stove as Auston sat down on the nearest barstool, feeling as though he could simply be dreaming, hallucinating, that you were here, sitting with him in his parents’ kitchen. But when you noticed him taking the seat next to yours, you tossed him a classic Kelsey smile and nudged his shoulder with your own, and he felt just slightly more confident that this was reality. Unable to resist your magnetism, which hadn’t faded with time but seemed instead to have only grown stronger, he squeezed your knee beneath the countertop, just as Ema approached with a cup of tea in hand for you.

Choosing to react instead to Ema rather than her son, you grinned and thanked her, feeling Auston’s eyes on you as you lifted the mug to your lips and took small sips, Ema still prattling on happily from the other side of the kitchen. You eventually cast a sidelong glance Auston’s way, accompanied by an amused smirk, the combination of which left him beaming as he looked away from you and back toward his mother, who now approached with two more cups of tea.

“Thanks, Ma,” he said as he wrapped his hands around the mug she offered him.

“You’re welcome, mijo,” Ema replied. “Now Kelsey, honey, how long are you in town?”

“Uh, just until the day after Christmas,” you replied, swirling a finger along the ceramic rim of your mug. “This is the most time I’ve taken off since I started at the magazine,” you admitted with a hint of embarrassment.

Ema nodded. “Your mother said you haven’t made it home for a while. I know they keep you pretty busy there. Is that why you don’t visit so much?” she asked unassumingly.

Auston dropped his head and shuffled his feet awkwardly against the tile floor, and your eyes flickered to him as you racked your brain for an answer that wasn’t a complete lie but also didn’t unmask the whole truth — which was that being in a town that held so much history with your ex was simply too suffocating to bear, even for a quick visit with your parents. So, you typically just stayed in California where you could throw yourself into your work as a fashion writer at a well-known publication and operate under the illusion that you had moved on. From Scottsdale, from Auston, from your life before Los Angeles.

And especially from Toronto.

But the problem was, when the night fell and the lights all faded and you were left to face the truth, you knew in your heart that that’s really all it was — an illusion.

And from 2,500 miles away, Auston knew it, too. He knew it because he was living the same lie.

“Uh, yeah,” you replied sheepishly. “That’s the gist of it. Just, uh, just hard to get away sometimes. My parents usually come out to visit me instead since their schedules are, uh, a little more flexible.”

“Right,” Ema said skeptically as you took a long pull from your mug, despite the hot liquid singing your tongue and making your eyes water. “Well, either way, it’s so good to finally see you here,” she added warmly.

“It’s good to see you too,” you breathed, honesty dripping from that answer.

Auston finally looked at you again, giving you an understanding smile. Even that smallest of gestures made you dizzy.

“So,” you said as you moved away from the topic, sitting up a bit straighter. “Where are the girls? Where’s Brian?”

“Golfing,” Auston answered. “Like always,” he added with a chuckle.

“Why am I not surprised?” you teased, making both Ema and Auston laugh.

“They begged Auston to come with them, but he turned them down,” Ema informed you. “And now we know why.�� She lifted her eyebrows and took another sip of her tea as Auston shook his head.

“Dunno what you’re talking about,” he joked. “But no, they’ll be back soon. They can’t wait to see you.”

You brightened at that, not having seen the Matthews girls in nearly as long as it had been since you’d seen Auston himself, finding it easier to breathe when they weren’t nearby, reminding you of him with their every mannerism. And yet, you’d found that starving yourself of their friendship and their company ached nearly just as much.

“I can’t wait either,” you said through a distant smile.

“And Dad will probably cry more than Mom did when he sees you,” Auston predicted, lifting his mug. Ema swatted at his arm.

“Don’t start with me!” she warned. “I happened to see you choking up out there, too.”

You turned to Auston and raised an accusing brow at him. He simply chuckled into his tea and looked away, and the three of you sat in silence for a beat.

“Come on,” he finally said as he rested his mug on the island, nodding his head in the direction of the sliding glass door at the back of the house. “Lemme show you the patio.”

You nodded, knowing full well that showing off the backyard was not the real reason he was inviting you outside. Despite that knowledge, you hopped off the barstool, put your mug in the sink, and kissed Ema on the cheek as you passed her.

“Thanks for the tea, mamacita,” you said with a smile, squeezing her shoulders. “Anytime, mi amor,” she replied, sending a wink your way as you turned to follow Auston.

He slid open the door and motioned for you to step through it first. When he saw his mother watching you through the kitchen window, he gave her a knowing smirk, and she put her hands up in innocence. But as she watched you two walk out onto the patio through the glass, she breathed a silent prayer to any higher power who would listen that maybe, just maybe, you would finally come home.

Not to Scottsdale, no. Home to Auston.

Meanwhile, you were trailing your hand along the hammock near the pool, taking in the scene and trying to remember to breathe. When you heard him close the door, you turned back to Auston, your eyes floating around the backyard.

“Nice setup they’ve got back here,” you grinned, Auston chuckling with his hands shoved into the pockets of his shorts.

“Yeah, it’s even nicer in the summer,” he commented. You nodded, stepping closer to the pool and lowering yourself to sit on the edge, patting the space next to you as an invitation for Auston to do the same.

“We have chairs, ya know,” he grumbled as he took a seat. “Not all of us like to sit on the floor all day doing yoga.”

You sneered at him. “Oh, yeah, that’s what I do all day long,” you said sarcastically.

“Well, you used to, anyway,” he mumbled.

You gulped as visions of him watching you do precarious yoga poses on the living room floor of his apartment flickered in your mind’s eye, and then, once again, you moved right along.

“So… how’s it going, Matthews? How’s life?” you prompted, not even sure if you truly wanted to hear the answer to your inquiry.

He stretched out his long legs so that his feet were dangling above the water as he wondered where to even begin.

“It’s… it’s good,” he said. “Overall. It’s nice to be home for a few days. Needed that. I missed it. Missed my family. Missed…” he stopped himself, “…other things,” he added under his breath.

You chewed the inside of your cheek and decided to avoid the path he was taking this down. “How’s hockey?” you asked instead.

Auston shifted noticeably at the mention of his career, still painfully aware that, despite the successes it had brought him, it had ultimately caused the demise of your relationship.

“Hockey is… hockey,” he said. “Honestly it’s good on the whole. But the team’s not having the greatest year so far, which is rough.” You nodded, knowing better than most that the Toronto media operated at a different level of intensity and scrutiny than that of nearly all other markets, especially when the Leafs were losing, and especially when new blood was added into the equation, like Auston’s had been when they drafted him.

Like yours had been when you moved there with him.

The spotlight they shone on you — and the subsequent attention you received from so-called fans who took to the internet to question your intentions and integrity — had been far more than you bargained for.

Just as you were about to ask about how the guys on the team were faring, Auston spoke again.

“I think about calling you every time we come to LA, Kels,” he said, fixing his eyes on the neighbor’s house in the distance because he was simply unable to look at you while he admitted it. With a sniff, he added, “I’m not gonna lie about that.”

“Why don’t you?” you asked after a beat, maybe unfairly, studying his familiar profile. His features were the same, of course, but he looked… more mature. Older. Wiser. All that jazz. Auston shrugged, still not capable of looking at you.

“Just didn’t think you’d want me to,” he answered dejectedly. Your heart sank into your stomach. Given the things you’d said when you left him nearly three years ago, you could hardly blame him for that one.

“Well,” you started with a sigh. “I guess we could call it even then, because I think about coming to see you play every time you come to LA. Or Anaheim. Or even Vegas. And obviously Phoenix.”

“Well why didn’t you just call me asking for free tickets then,” he said in a tone that he tried to disguise as facetious, but you heard the hurt seeping into his words. “Everybody else I know in any NHL city does.”

You felt a fierce sense of protectiveness then, clenching your jaw as you tried to calm your irate thoughts. You watched him pick at the sleeve of his black Raiders crewneck and felt deeply for him — this man you’d loved since he was a little boy.

“Do they really? Still?” you asked in monotone.

Auston nodded, squinting in the sunlight. “Yup,” he answered, popping the ‘p.’ “Every game.”

“Jesus Christ,” you muttered, covering your eyes with your hand and pushing into your temples. You blew out a long breath. “Fuck. I’m really sorry about that. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but I… it just sucks.”

Auston shrugged. “It’s not your fault,” he stated. “Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don’t. Kinda depends on whether the person’s actually talked to me lately.”

You nodded as he chuckled sadly, and you felt your chest tighten. “Well,” you began, clearing your throat. “I guess I wouldn’t qualify then because we haven’t talked much.”

Auston looked at you with intensity surging in his deep brown eyes, and you wanted to look away but found that you couldn’t.

“You always qualify,” he said seriously. “You’re one of the only people that qualifies.”

You bit down, hard, on your bottom lip and grappled internally with the weight of his comment. Then he said sarcastically, “Besides, I know you’re only after my money. I mean, you forced me to buy you that Louis bag the week after I got drafted.”

Your jaw dropped at his joke, and you scoffed indignantly. “Oh, yeah, the one you finally had to hide in my closet after I kept sneaking it back into your car because I wanted you to return it?” you corrected. “Yeah, ya caught me. You know me, Aus. Such a gold digger.”

Auston had started laughing halfway through your quip, but stopped suddenly. You gave him a questioning look, and he paused before answering.

“You called me Aus,” he stated with a smile he tried and failed to hide. “You went back to calling me Matthews after we broke up. But you… you just called me Aus again.”

“Yeah, well...” you grumbled, “Don’t get too excited.” You tossed him a smirk and he mirrored it, basking in the comfort of the moment.

“So whaddya think of the place? Not bad, right?” he finally asked, glancing around the property, back at the house, then settling his focus back on you.

You shrugged. “A little gaudy for my taste, but...” you began, and Auston shook his head bemusedly, knowing he set himself up for that one.

“No, it’s great. I can see how much your mom loves it. In all seriousness, I think it’s amazing, everything you’ve done for your family. Your parents. It’s pretty incredible,” you said earnestly. “I don’t think I said it enough when we were together, but, I’m really proud of you, Aus. And I don’t just mean about the hockey.”

Auston nodded soberly, turning his head to look you in the eye.

“I know you don’t,” he said quietly. “Thanks, Kels. It means a lot coming from you. More, uh… more than you know.”

And then, before you could think twice about doing so, you reached out your hand to rest atop his, feeling its familiar warmth as your fingertips grazed the raised veins there. Auston swallowed hard, blinking at where your hands now met, and slowly wrapped your fingers in his, giving them a squeeze. You exchanged long stares before you eventually slammed on the brakes in your brain and carried on.

“So, you just casually hang out with Justin Bieber now?” you asked, reaching your palms behind you and leaning back. “And the wildest shit is that I saw it first when he posted it, not you.”

Auston chuckled, looking down at his slides and — ironically — Drew socks combo. In his signature way, he halted his laughter on a dime and his face turned somber as he said dryly, “Yeah, I’m like really famous now, yanno?”

You sighed in annoyance, rolling your eyes as you looked skyward, feeling Auston’s gaze turn to you. You let it go for a few moments before shifting only your eyes toward his.

“What?” you asked accusingly. You could tell by the faraway smirk on his face that he was lost in a memory.

“Remember you had posters of him hung up all over your room in like middle school? From Tiger Beat magazine and shit? And now I play video games and mini sticks with the guy,” Auston said with a chuckle.

“Yeah, and if you ever tell him about that, I’ll end your life,” you threatened, shoving at his arm and attempting to ignore how much his biceps had grown since you last touched them. And then you were slamming the door shut on a rush of memories of having him beneath your touch — some innocent, but most intimate.

Auston saw it in your eyes — the place you went for a moment — as you dropped your hand back to the concrete beneath you. He knew where you went because, so often, he went there, too.

He held your gaze and promised, “Your secret’s safe with me. You know that.”

Only a hint of a smile graced your lips for a fleeting moment as you ran your fingers through your hair. Suddenly, you felt the heaviness of the history between the two of you closing in — smothering you, like it always did. Auston watched helplessly, wishing it didn’t have to be this hard.

And then, in a flash, like he so often did to save you from your swirling thoughts, he casually changed the topic as he commented, “Your hair’s shorter. You look like your mom. In a good way.”

Blushing, you breathed a laugh through your nose. “Thanks,” you said softly. “I think it’s the highlights, too.”

“It is,” Auston confirmed, and then — damn him — he reached out and looped a lock from the front of your face between his thumb and forefinger, the way he had done a thousand times before, usually mid-conversation, always absentmindedly. This time, you knew, as you forced your eyes to meet his, it was a bit more calculated. “I really like it,” he told you.

You nodded, searching his eyes to try and determine whether he had any idea what this — this moment, this visit, this day — really was.

“If you’re gonna ask me what we’re doing,” Auston spoke, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth for a second, “then I have to tell you I have no idea.”

Again, damn him. After all this time, it was like he still lived inside your brain and had read your every thought like the morning paper before you even had the chance to convey it. Which used to save you in a lot of ways. Now it felt kind of… intrusive. But somehow you didn’t mind.

“I had no idea what I was even gonna say when I called you. All I know,” he continued, still flipping the strand of hair around his fingers, “is that I really wanted to see you, and that I was really happy when you came, and that I’m really enjoying this time with you.”

You nodded, and as he pulled his hand from your face, his thumb brushed your jawline just slightly, and that touch alone sent a bolt of lightning through you. Auston smiled softly as he said barely above a whisper, “Okay, now it’s your turn to say something.”

You heaved a sigh, tipping your head back with eyes closed and soaking in the sunshine. “I don’t expect you to know, Aus,” you finally spoke. “I was just so... so shocked, I guess, that you wanted to see me. It’s been so long, I just... I didn’t know when I would see you again.”

“We’ve talked though,” Auston pointed out with a sigh to match yours, pulling a knee to his chest and wrapping his arms around his bent leg. “FaceTimed. Texted.”

You rolled your head toward him. “It’s not the same,” you reasoned softly, hesitantly reaching out your hand to tuck some of his black hair behind his ear. He licked his lips swiftly and placed a peck to your thumb before you slowly withdrew your hand.

“You’re right,” Auston conceded. “Definitely not the same.”

“Uh, sorry to interrupt...”

You were snapped out of your private moment by one person’s voice and another person’s squeal behind you.

“Oh, my god!” you yelled as you shot up from the side of the pool, Alexandria and Breyana already scampering toward you from the back door.

“It’s about goddamn time you came back to us!” Alex shrieked, wrapping her arms around you tightly. “I missed you, little sister,” she cooed, rubbing her hands across your back, and you hummed in agreement.

“I missed you, Al,” you replied, kissing her temple as you stepped back to greet the youngest of the Matthews clan.

“And you. My baby!” you exclaimed, pulling Breyana into your arms. “The true star athlete of the family,” you teased as she squeezed your waist.

“Damn straight,” Breyana giggled. “I missed you, Kels. I can’t believe you’re here!”

You pulled away, glancing behind you as you saw Auston slowly approaching out of the corner of your eye. “Me either,” you admitted, eyes widening dramatically as the girls snickered at you. “How was golf?”

“Brey smoked us, no surprise,” Alex replied. “But shut up about the golf. Tell us what’s going on with you two.”

“Alex!” Auston warned, shooting her a glare. “Please don’t.”

Alex gave him her best older sister roll of the eyes and crossed her arms over her chest as Breyana looked between the two of you.

“Nope,” Alex refused. “Not until you tell me what’s up. C’mon, spill.”

“We’re just...” you began, swiveling to look Auston’s way as he smirked down at you, happy to let you flounder in this one all on your own. “Visiting,” you finished, nodding once at Alex, pleased with your choice of verbiage.

“Honestly, you guys…” Breyana lamented.

“Visiting, huh?” Alex echoed, growing even more suspicious. “Yeah, okay. Sure. Wear protection. Anyways, uh—“

“Alex!” Auston repeated, this time through clenched teeth. “I swear to god...”

“Anyways, like I was saying,” Alex continued. “Your parents invited us all to their house tomorrow night for the Christmas party. I didn’t think you were gonna be there — does this mean you will?”

You nodded, causing Alex to clap excitedly. “I’ll be there with bells on,” you confirmed. “I already made my shortbread cookies.” All three siblings moaned in delight at the mention of your famous treats.

“Hell yeah! Plus that means we won’t be the only ones escaping to the balcony to drink,” Breyana commented.

“Brey, you’re like twelve,” Auston taunted, earning him a sharp elbow to the ribs from his younger sister. “You don’t get to drink with us.”

“Whatever,” she retorted. “Like you guys weren’t sneaking Mom and Dad’s liquor when you were younger than me.”

“Anyways,” Alex said yet again, clearing her throat. “We’re gonna go back inside now and shower, and just, uh, leave you guys to whatever it is you were doing beside the pool there. ‘Kay? ‘Kay. See ya,” she sang, spinning Breyana by the shoulders and guiding her inside, both girls whispering and giggling all the while. “Kels, I’ll call you tonight — you can tell me all about it!” Alex called over her shoulder, sliding the door closed.

You turned to see a pink tinge to Auston’s cheeks as he muttered, “Sorry,” with a dry laugh. You shook your head.

“No, don’t be,” you insisted, waving him off as you took a seat at the glass picnic table beside you, Auston following your lead. “It wouldn’t be a visit to the Matthews house without Alex torturing the both of us,” you teased.

Auston nodded. “Very true,” he said, and you knew he didn’t want to stop there, but he couldn’t seem to find what he did want to say next.

Instead, you ventured, “So what are your—”

At the very same time, he started, “Kels, would you maybe—”

You both chuckled at yourselves, locking eyes. This certainly wasn’t the first time this had happened in conversations — far from it. And usually, you were about to say the very same thing.

So, you motioned for him to speak first.

He toyed with the band of his watch as he said nervously, “I was just gonna say, uh, would you maybe wanna go to dinner with me? Tonight?”

You sat back in your chair, smirking, fully aware that you were teetering on a damn fine line.

“I was hoping you might say that.”

_____

An hour later, after reuniting with Brian (Auston was right — he cried more than the rest of his family combined when he hugged you), you headed home to change for dinner. As you pulled away from the Matthews house, you were thankful that Auston had offered to follow you in his own vehicle so that he could drive you to dinner, which in turn gave each of you a few minutes to breathe.

Surprisingly, your mother didn’t seem at all shocked to see the guest you had brought back with you. You had told her that you were going to visit the Matthews’, not specifying which member of the family had invited you, though she could venture a guess. When she watched two vehicles pull into the driveway side by side, she inhaled an excited gasp, a smile overwhelming her features as she came to meet you at the front door, just as you laughed at a lame joke Auston cracked about your driving.

Your mother nearly tackled him in a hug, which he warmly returned. He shared a similar bond with your mom to the one you shared with his, which was yet another piece that fit perfectly into the puzzle that was your relationship. So many pieces fit, and so few didn’t, but that still didn’t make things whole.

But, you ignored that thought — and so many others — as you left the two to chat, bounding up the stairs to change, now grateful that you’d brought more than one nice option to wear to the Christmas party tomorrow, considering the rest of your suitcase was filled with comfy loungewear.

How could you have ever planned for this?

After touching up your hair and makeup and putting on the more understated of the dressy outfits you’d brought, you returned to the kitchen where your mom and Auston stood huddled at the counter, near empty glasses of red wine in front of them both.

“Already boozin’, huh?” you teased as you folded your arms in front of you. They chuckled, and Auston glanced at you over his shoulder with a smile. When he laid eyes on you, though, he stood straight up and turned to face you, making no attempt to hide his stare, even in front of your mother. Without taking his gaze off of you, he threw back his final sip of wine and blew out a flustered breath. You knew you were blushing, so you walked past him to your mother, pressing your cheek to hers for an air kiss so as not to mess up your lipstick.

“Sorry to take your favorite boy away from you, but we should head out,” you announced as you looked back at Auston. He cleared his throat, walking to the other side of the countertop to hug your mom again, thanking her for the wine and something else that you didn’t quite catch.

He followed you down the hall, his hand ghosting along the small of your back as you reached for your purse on the coat rack. You looked back and blew a final kiss to your mom, who waved as she watched Auston open the passenger door of his car and help you in — both of you giggling as you crouched into the low-riding vehicle in your skirt and high heels. Like a mom of a young teen, she stood at the window and watched the two of you drive down the block and out of sight, hands clasped together wistfully as she turned back to finish placing the final decorative touches in the living room ahead of tomorrow.

Just a minute later, your dad came through the door from the grocery store, calling for her, sounding nearly breathless.

“What’s the matter?” she asked, smoothing the silk ribbon wrapped around the banister.

“Marie… did I just see Auston driving Kelsey down the road in a Porsche?” he gaped, his brow furrowed, thumb pointed over his shoulder.

She laughed, looking downward as she nodded.

“Yes, you did,” she confirmed, then looked at him as she felt tears welling. “Jack... I can’t say for sure, but I think maybe the girl is finally coming to her senses.”

A smile spread slowly across your father’s face and he came toward your mother, wrapping her in a hug.

“Well…” he began, kissing her temple. “Then maybe we’ll get our Christmas wish after all.”

“And what’s that?” your mom asked.

“For her to be happy again.”

_____

“You look amazing, Kels,” Auston said seriously from the driver’s seat. “Gorgeous.”

You gave him a coy smile and briefly inspected the outfit he’d chosen before leaving his own parents’ house.

“Thanks,” you said softly. “You don’t look half bad yourself.”

Auston grinned and decided he would take that.

Ten minutes later, he was pulling up to the restaurant you had already known he’d had in mind when he asked you to dinner, without even needing to discuss it. The same Italian restaurant where you’d celebrated infinite birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Days, and other milestones. You fell into easy conversation during drinks and appetizers before Auston told a comical story about his teammates which led to an in that he knew he needed to take.

“They miss you, you know,” Auston stated cautiously between bites of his shrimp scampi. “Mo. Mitchy. Especially Steph.”

You folded and unfolded the seams of the cloth napkin in your lap, considering your response.

“I miss them, too,” you eventually murmured. “So be real with me. You really like it there now?” you leveled with him.

His demeanor shifted — in a good way — as he replied. “It’s honestly great. I mean, you’d love it there now, Kels. I swear,” Auston said, shaking his head in wonder. “’M not just saying that. I mean, the hype is still there, yes, but it’s not at the level it was when I first started. Mitchy and Mo and Willy and I, all us guys who kinda started out together, we’ve all sort of found our groove with the media and stuff, and for the most part, it’s great. I have a feeling it’ll just keep getting better, too.”

You watched his eyes light up as he spoke about Toronto, relief and happiness washing over you. It didn’t seem so long ago that Auston was curled up on the couch, near tears, head in your lap, feeling incapable of living up to the expectations set for him — almost buckling under the immense pressure, the likes of which he had never felt before.

You let out a teary chuckle, swiping at a teardrop on your cheek that had fallen as he answered, taking you by surprise.

“You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that, Aus,” you told him, holding your hand over your heart as it soared within you.

Auston nodded slightly, and his lips twitched into a sad smile. “There’s still something that doesn’t feel right though,” he confessed, though it didn’t feel much like a secret. “Still something missing.”

“And what’s that?” you asked timidly as you lifted your wine glass, excited for and fearful of his answer at all once.

“You.”

Forcing yourself to swallow your merlot so you didn’t spray it across the table, you put your fist to your mouth, holding it there while you attempted to process his latest, and most brazen, admission.

“I mean… look, there have been a few others,” Auston continued with a mindless shrug. “But never anything serious, and never anyone that I’m not constantly comparing to you in every possible way,” he told you, rolling his fingertips on the table and focusing on his hand as he spoke. “Feel kinda bad actually, because I know they all thought it was something more than it really was, and then I was always the one to break things off. I didn’t purposely lead them on, I just... once I got into it, I realized my feelings just weren’t in it.”

You opened your mouth to speak, hands limp in your lap, and then closed your lips in a tight line as you mulled over his words. You inhaled a shuddering breath and looked down, feeling the same shame that had overcome you countless times before come back again.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered without lifting your eyes.

“Kelsey…” Auston spoke firmly. “Look at me. Please.”

You did as he asked, lips pursed, and were met with his adoring, enchanting gaze, always too forgiving of your faults and mistakes.

“It’s okay,” he promised sincerely. “I understand. Trust me on that. I’ve always understood where you were coming from, but it seemed like there was just… just nothing I could do about it. Nothing I could do to make you stay, or to bring you back. That’s what made it so hard. That’s what still makes it so hard.”

You nodded. “Well — what you’re doing right now — whatever this is… it’s working,” you divulged, knowing this was a dangerous game and no longer caring.

“Is it?” Auston asked, a full-blown smile appearing now on his lips. Those lips you missed so damn much.

“Yeah,” you giggled, both of you grinning. “God, I missed your smile, Aus.”

“My smile?” he asked incredulously, then scoffed. “Your smile fucking breaks my heart, Kelsey,” he told you in his deepest tone, biting at the inside of his cheek as if he was trying not to lean across the table and kiss you full on the mouth right then and there.

And now, as you saw that look in his eye that you knew so well, you knew two things.

One, you were fucked. And two, you were in desperate need of a minute.

“I, uh, I gotta run to the ladies’ room,” you told him, standing, feeling unsteady as you pushed in your chair. Auston nodded knowingly and said, “Take all the time you need.”

You brushed a hand over his shoulder, the other holding tightly to your crossbody bag, as you attempted to walk in a straight line toward the restrooms across the restaurant floor. You were only one glass of wine deep, yet this night was making your head feel as fuzzy as if you’d just done a row of shots. Once safely inside the bathroom, you tossed your purse on the counter and held tightly to the sink to try and settle yourself, taking deep breaths in an attempt to control your racing pulse.

Just then, you heard a toilet flush, and your sense of solitude was quickly shattered when you saw a familiar blonde figure step out of the bathroom and lean closer upon recognizing you.

“Kelsey!” she exclaimed, moving toward the sink.

“Holly! Oh, my god,” you laughed as you squeezed her upper arm.

“Here, let me wash my hands and then I’ll give you a real hug,” she promised as you both giggled.

You had been a cheerleader throughout high school, and Holly, a year your senior, had been captain the year before you took on the title. Though you two weren’t particularly close, you had always looked up to her, and you’d kept in touch for a couple of years after you graduated before mostly falling off, save for the occasional hype comment or story reply on social media.

“How are you, girl? You look gorgeous!” she said as she threw her arms around you.

“So do you! I’m doing well, thanks. Home for the holidays,” you offered as she stepped back and nodded.

“Yeah, that’s great! Me, too,” she replied, then smiled mischievously at you. “To be totally honest, uh… I saw you when you were being seated. I didn’t wanna be weird or like, intrude, or anything but… I saw you come in with Auston. Are you guys like… back together?”

“Huh? Oh, no, no,” you laughed nervously, feeling yourself blush under her questioning. “We’re not back together. Just, uh, just two old friends, uh, catching up, ya know?” you reasoned nonchalantly as you reached for your bag.

“Oh. Right. Well... ‘tis the damn season, am I right?” Holly said with a chuckle, her own cheeks slightly flushed as she feared maybe she had made you uncomfortable by addressing the elephant in the room.

“Right,” you nodded cordially, then took a step toward her and patted her hand, wanting to make sure she didn’t think you were upset by her comment. “It’s so good to see you, Hol. I’m gonna head back out there—“

“Kelsey, wait,” Holly said urgently, grasping your arm before you could turn away from her. You blinked at her several times, glancing between her grip and her face as you waited to hear what had gotten into her.

“I just have to tell you... for what it’s worth, you guys still look so happy together,” Holly said. “Even if that’s not what this is. I just... I wanted to tell you that. As someone who has known you both for a long time, Auston never smiles as much as he smiles when he’s with you. It’s just nice to see.”

You gaped at your old friend, speechless, and she scrunched her nose at you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cross the line, I just...” she trailed off.

You shook your head, forcing yourself to act casual. “No, no. Not at all. It’s okay. Thank you, for telling me. I just, I gotta run,” you said, leaning in to hug her again. “Bye, Hol. Have a merry Christmas.”

“You too, Kels. See you around,” She smiled as you moved toward the bathroom door. With one last polite nod at her, you exited and escaped to your seat.

As you reached the table, you had to physically restrain yourself from reaching out and running your hand along the back of Auston’s neck and affectionately trailing your fingertips over the short hair there, as you had done for so many years when approaching him and sidling up to him. Instead, you smoothed your hand over your dress and sighed as Auston turned his head to look at you, grinning as he watched you sit.

“You get lost?” he teased. You chuckled, throwing your hair behind your shoulders.

“Something like that,” you muttered, immediately reaching for your glass of wine, which you could tell had been refilled in your absence. Auston hummed in acknowledgement as you took a long sip, watching you all the while.

“One more glass and then we get outta here?” Auston suggested as you set the glass down. You only nodded.

_____

“Remember when you had that old truck, with the tires that were always muddy, and we used to just ride around Scottsdale all night long?” you asked Auston, both of you reminiscing about days gone by after leaving the restaurant.

Auston nodded, running his pointer finger across his upper lip, the other hand on the wheel, as he watched the memory projecting in his mind.

“‘Course I do,” he told you, and you didn’t miss the way his tone changed when he did, making you smirk.

“So, where to next?” you prodded. “Back to Casa de Matthews?”

He shrugged ambiguously, but secretly, he knew just what he wanted to do. “We could just ride around. Like we used to. If you want. I mean, there’s no real reason for us to rush back to our parents’ houses, right?” he said with a snicker.

This could get messy as the mud on the truck tires, you thought, but your response was already tumbling from your lips.

“Okay,” you said, smiling at him. “I’d say let’s go drive through the rich neighborhoods and look at Christmas lights like we used to, but that’s where you and your parents live now, so...” You clicked your tongue and Auston rolled his jaw, acting completely offended to hide how much he had missed you chirping him. The way it melted him.

“We’re still going,” he insisted, turning the wheel at the next intersection and pulling a U-turn. “We’ll just, uh, we’re just gonna maybe skip a couple neighborhoods, that’s all.”

You laughed — a real Kelsey belly laugh — and Auston watched as you lit up his world yet again. He didn’t even need to see any Christmas lights this year. He had all the light he needed right next to him.

Minutes later, he passed the usual first turn on your holiday lights tour and you furrowed your brow.

“Aus, where are you going? I wanted to see Ranchero Nuevo first. We always start there,” you reminded him.

“No, what’s the actual first thing we do when we go see Christmas lights?” Auston asked, pulling instead toward the strip mall at the next light. When you saw the green glow of the Starbucks sign up ahead, you smiled as it dawned on you.

“Get hot chocolate,” you said fondly. Instead of answering, Auston simply sent a soft smile your way. “You’re the greatest,” you lauded, igniting a pride that burned bright in Auston’s chest.

“Anything for you, babe,” he said before he could even realize what he’d just done. He snapped his head your way and saw that you were trying your damnedest not to smile.

He was completely taken aback as you quipped, “You can call me babe for the weekend.”

Auston did a double-take and then nodded once at your phone in your hands, which had just lit up with two missed calls and a particularly accusatory text from one Alex Matthews that you decided you would have to tend to later.

“Write this down,” Auston instructed curtly.

“What do you mean?” you laughed, holding your phone up curiously.

“I want proof that you just said that to me,” he deadpanned, jutting his chin toward your glowing screen and sending you into a fit of laughter.

After you’d both recovered, Auston picked up your drink — large peppermint hot chocolate, like always — and a coffee for himself, and you set off to wind your way through the same neighborhoods you had driven through countless times, admiring most of the decorations and poking fun at the gaudiness of some, laughing all the while, without a care.

As he pulled into a neighborhood you knew to be just a stone’s throw away from where he had recently purchased a house, Auston took a deep breath, fingers gripping the steering wheel rigidly, and decided to take the leap and say what had been circling through his brain since you’d stepped foot in the vehicle after dinner but had only just now worked up the nerve to say.

“What if we didn’t go back to our parents’ places tonight?” he asked abruptly, the words sounding much more jumbled and rushed than they had in his head.

You chuckled anxiously, staring straight ahead. “What do you mean?”

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and pressed on. “Hear me out. What if we just went to my place for the night instead? I don’t mean to like… to hook up, or anything,” he assured. “Just to be together. I just… I really fucking missed you.”

Uh, whoops. He hadn’t exactly meant to slip that last part in there, but it was too late to turn back now.

There was a lengthy pause and the car was frighteningly silent as you weighed your options.

“Well...” you eventually said, nibbling on your bottom lip. “If it’s okay with you, then it’s okay with me.”

“Yeah?” Auston asked immediately, searching your face for confirmation that he had just heard you correctly. He couldn’t believe that this — any of this— was really happening.

You nodded.

“Yeah. And… Aus?” you spoke.

“Yes, Kelsey?” he asked softly, joy radiating from his whole being and seeping into his words.

You leaned your head back against the seat and reached to wrap your hand around his on the center console.

“I really fucking missed you, too,” you told him.

_____

“Why did you agree to come with me tonight anyway, Kelsey?”

You and Auston were each almost a full bottle of wine deep by the time he asked this, inhibitions now lowered. He’d barely finished giving you the tour before you were both so palpably overwhelmed by the reality of being alone together in his house, with so many feelings buzzing about frenetically, that you took the liberty of pulling a bottle of red from the wine fridge and asking for glasses and a corkscrew. Auston forked them over without question, and now you were deeply entrenched in the process of examining old battle wounds that had never quite healed.

“Because I missed you,” you answered truthfully. “And also because I owed it to you to accept your invitation when you took a chance by reaching out.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Kels,” he claimed, taking a swig.

You picked up your glass and passed by him as you began to pace the tile floor, unable to just be still during this exchange — this conversation that had been a long time coming.

“I do, though,” you argued. “You gave me everything. Everything. And I still left.”

Auston squeezed the stem of his wine glass so hard he feared he may just shatter it.

“I don’t want you blaming yourself for the things I put you through because of my career choice,” he said firmly, a hand splayed against his chest as he accepted the responsibility, just like he always did.

“But you didn’t choose to have the media posted up outside our apartment every day. You didn’t choose to have strangers stalking me and my family online. You didn’t choose to have them calling me a distraction and a leech and a gold digger and a wh—“

“Don’t say it,” he warned as he lifted a finger, referencing the specific instance of the smearing of your character that had left you broken enough to start packing your bags.

“Okay,” you conceded quietly, knowing just how sick that one word had made him. “But listen. Yes, you chose to play hockey. But you didn’t choose all that shit that came along with it. You didn’t know! Hell, you didn’t even get to choose where you played. But even so… honestly, I used to blame you for everything. Because back then, it was just easier for me to deal with it that way.”

Auston’s head hung between his shoulder blades as he leaned his palms against the bar, reliving the very same pain that had eaten away at him for the past three years, especially the acute ache that had come in the weeks immediately after you left.

“I know you did — blame me, that is,” he said softly. “And I understand why.”

You took slow and deliberate steps back to where he stood and rubbed your hand soothingly across his broad back, feeling the way his muscles relaxed under your touch.

“Hey… look at me, huh?” you asked, gently guiding his face toward yours with your fingers. “I don’t blame you, Aus. I don’t,” you assured, your eyes piercing into his. “Not anymore. I’ve grown. I know I did this. I know it’s my fault that we’re like this. I mean, fuck, I broke my own heart, and I know I hurt you. I just... at the time, I didn’t see a way forward on the road we were on.”

Auston’s mind was firing on all cylinders as he tried desperately to compute what he’d just heard, convinced he was gathering more from your words than you meant for him to.

“And now?” he ventured.

He watched as your pained expression turned to one of, dare he even think it, hope.

“I still see it, Aus,” you said. “I still see us ending up together. I know it’s out of the blue, but…”

“It’s not though,” he said, cocking his head a bit to punctuate his point. “I know it doesn’t make much sense, any of this, but… to me, it’s not out of the blue. I’ve wanted this for so long,” he told you. “And I just need you to know that. Regardless of what happens next.”

“Auston, you and me together… that’s the only thing that makes sense. That’s all that’s ever made sense to me,” you said, clarity washing over you. “But I just, I wasn’t ready. And I got so scared that I wouldn’t be able to handle your life that I… I just ran.”

“You can run, Kelsey,” Auston said softly as he, yet again, twirled a strand of your hair around his finger. “But only so far.”

“Yeah…” you whispered. Then, without hesitation, you grasped his chin between your forefinger and thumb, turning his face to yours and studying his brown eyes just for a heartbeat before pressing your lips to his.

And for now, that was all that needed to be said.

_____

You hadn’t slept together. But you had slept together.

Too much crying and laughing and kissing and rehashing and wondering aloud had left you both emotionally drained and physically exhausted, and after dragging yourself into the master bathroom to throw on a crewneck and a pair of Auston’s sweats, you’d promptly fallen asleep in his arms, a smile on his features even in sleep.

The next morning it occurred to you, with your cheek pressed against his bare chest and your legs entangled with his, that Auston’s bed — whether here, or in the house where he grew up, or in Toronto — was the warmest one you’d ever known. Though you could tell by the sunlight flooding the room that it was late in the morning, you couldn’t bear to move away from him.

Soon, he, too, began to stir. As he squinted in the daylight and peered down at you, he closed his eyes once more, a peaceful grin on his lips.

“Oh, thank god that wasn’t just a dream,” he whispered. You chuckled, your fingertips lazily drawing shapes on his pecs as you nuzzled your head further into his neck.

“Nope,” you established. “This is very, very real.”

You lay in quiet thought for a moment before adding softly, “But what happens now?”

At that, Auston’s eyes opened wider this time, a slight panic visible in his face.

“Well,” he began, smoothing his hand over your head and kissing your hair. “What happens now is that we get some coffee.”

You sighed at his attempt to make light of the situation and pushed yourself to sit straight up in bed, cross-legged in front of where he lay on his side.

“You know that’s not what I mean,” you spoke, your fingers pulling anxiously at the bedsheet below. “Yesterday was like a fever dream and now... now we have to face reality.”

Slowly, Auston sat up, too, and pulled you into his lap, allowing you to rest your back against his torso as he gathered your hair at the nape of your neck in a makeshift ponytail.

“Everything that happened yesterday was reality, baby,” he insisted, kissing the crown of your head.

“Our feelings, yes,” you allowed. “But not the rest of it. I mean, fuck, we’re both leaving town in —“ you glanced at the bedside clock and were shocked by the 11:27 that stared back at you, realizing you’d practically slept in half the day — “48 hours. And then what? I go back to LA and you go back to Toronto and we just wonder about—“

“Baby, stop,” Auston begged as he turned you to face him, bringing your forehead to his lips. “Take a breath,” he said, stroking your jaw with his thumbs as he looked down at you, concern etched into his features. “We don’t have to figure all this out right this minute. In fact, we’re not going to. For right now, let’s just let this be what it is. And you have to try and stop spinning your wheels so fast. You’re gonna burn a hole in my floor,” he joked, kissing your nose.

You chuckled sadly, holding his wrists. “You’re right,” you eventually told him. “We’ll figure it out, somehow. I know we will,” you sighed, frowning. “First things first though, I have to get home and help my mom get ready for the party tonight.”

Before you could get out of bed to start gathering your things, Auston circled his arms around your hips and kept you in his lap. “Wait, gimme a smile first,” he requested.

You looked up at him and offered a tight-lipped smile, still distracted by the future of your relationship teetering precariously in the balance.

Auston shook his head. “That’s a fake Kelsey smile,” he accused, accurately. “Don’t even try me.”

With another deep sigh, you muttered, “You’re the only soul who can tell.”

“Who can tell what?” he asked, hugging you tighter.

You looked up at him for a moment, feeling more seen than you had in years. “Which smiles I’m faking,” you said quietly.

A pleased smile twitched at the corners of Auston’s lips before he pressed his mouth to yours.

_____

Auston walked into your parents’ house that night with his understated charm and a devastating ensemble of a maroon suit, white shirt with the top few buttons undone, and black loafers, looking every bit the GQ model he was once upon a time. With two bouquets of red roses and a bottle of champagne in hand, he knocked on the glass and your dad met him enthusiastically at the door.

“What’s the occasion?” your dad then chuckled, a bit puzzled. Auston glanced to where you stood near the staircase, waiting to greet him, and smiled.

“These are for your daughter,” Auston said as he grasped one bouquet. “And these are for your wife,” he said as he gestured toward the other. Your dad raised his eyebrows, looking between the two of you pensively, and let out a loud laugh. “Well, how thoughtful! And the champagne?” your dad asked as Auston stepped toward you and tucked one bunch of roses into your hold. He kissed your cheek chastely and turned back to your dad.

“Well, you never know when you’re gonna have something to celebrate,” Auston said with a smirk. You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and your dad clapped Auston’s back appreciatively before leaving the two of you to your moment.

“Thank you, for the flowers,” you said softly, staring up at him. “They’re beautiful.”

“You’re welcome,” he said with a nod before your aunt and uncle suddenly appeared in the doorway, loudly greeting you and pushing their way toward you for hugs as Auston gave them their space and waited for you to become available again.

His patience lasted all of five minutes as he made vague pleasantries with the handful of guests who had already arrived, before he was approaching you again, eager to do what he really came here to do and unable to wait a moment longer. As you turned away from a brief conversation with a longtime next-door neighbor, Auston gently grasped your wrist as he said hastily, “Can I see you outside for a second?”

You didn’t have much of a choice as he led you hurriedly through the formal living room and out the French doors to the balcony, closing them behind you and backing you into a corner, hidden from view.

“Aus, what are you—“

He pressed his body into yours, nudging you back against the rail as he took your face in his hands and kissed you hungrily.

“Doing,” you whispered when he let up, completing your earlier thought as you pressed your fingertips against your swollen lips and looked up at him, your cheeks reddening.

“That,” he answered simply with a small smile. “And I wanted to give you something...”

He patted his pockets to determine where the object was, and your eyes widened.

“Auston, no!” you exclaimed, squeezing his elbows in an attempt to stop his search. “You can’t. I didn’t get you anything. I —”

“Kelsey, are you crazy? Yes, you did,” he said firmly. “Time with you. You gave me time with you. That’s all I’ve wanted for the last three years. That’s more than I could have ever asked for.”

There was nothing you could say then, nothing that sounded worthy enough to hold any significance in such an already meaningful vignette of the two of you. Auston took your silence as his opportunity to pull a mid-sized, square, red leather box from the pocket of his suit jacket, the name “Cartier” imprinted in gold script on the lid.

“Auston, stop,” you warned in a whisper, knowing what was inside and knowing that you would be rendered completely incapable of walking away from him once he offered this gift to you, knowing what it signified for both of you. He shook his head, knowing that your request was an empty one. He propped open the box and placed it on the small wrought iron table in front of you on the balcony. You couldn’t peel your eyes from it as your mind raced with questions.

“How... where... we slept until noon, Aus,” you stuttered. “All the stores were closed. Where did you even buy this?”

He pursed his lips and nodded once, then put his hands into his pockets and admitted, “I’ve had it for almost three years, Kels.”

You blinked again and again, not processing what he’d just revealed.

“I’m sorry... what?”

“I bought this for you for Valentine’s Day three years ago,” he continued. “I bought it and I hid it in my closet and I was gonna give it to you but we broke up on —“

“January 30th...” you whispered. Auston’s brows knit together in agony, and his throat constricted.

“You remember too,” he stated quietly.

“Yeah. Yeah, I remember a little too well,” you said, sniffling as you glanced down at the box again.

Suddenly, your mind drifted back not to that fateful day in his apartment in Toronto, but instead to lying on your stomach as a kid in your family room, flipping through the pages of your favorite issue of your mom’s old Vogue magazines, as Auston used a yardstick and a Nerf ball as makeshift hockey equipment, taking shots at your couch again and again while you soaked in the photos of beautiful models, trendy clothing, and expensive jewelry, as visions of working at a fashion magazine someday twirled through your daydreams.

“Whatcha readin’?” a ten-year-old Auston inquired as he dropped next to you to take a break from his game.

“Vogue,” you answered, turning another page. “Like usual.”

Auston nodded, spotting a pretty woman in a tight black dress and commented, “Cool,” with a laugh. “If you could have anything in that book, what would you pick?”

Ever the master of sass, you rolled your eyes.

“It’s a magazine, Aus,” you corrected with venom in your voice as Auston rolled his own eyes. “But, if I had to pick... I know just what I want,” you informed him, leafing through the issue to get back to an ad in the front. When you finally found what you were seeking, you plopped the magazine down again, smacking your hand onto its glossy pages.

“That,” you said, pointing to the gold bangle. “It’s called the Love Bracelet. It says that it gets bought by somebody you love and then they have to use a screwdriver to put it on you.”

“A screwdriver?!” Auston asked incredulously. “Wouldn’t that hurt?”

You giggled. “No, silly,” you drawled. “It doesn’t hurt. But then the person who loves you is the only one who can put it on you or take it off you. You can’t do it by yourself.”

Auston nodded. “Cool,” he repeated, more seriously this time. You sighed wistfully as you gazed down at the bracelet.

“Yeah, but it’s a whole bunch of money, and my dad said he isn’t buying it. He said maybe my husband will get me one someday,” you said sadly. Auston watched your face drop, then, he got an idea.

“How about this,” he offered, nudging you with his elbow. “If I get famous for playing baseball, or hockey I guess, and I make a boatload of money, then I’ll buy you that bracelet. ‘Kay?”

You blushed, hunching your shoulders as you were slightly embarrassed by your best friend’s offer. Still, you loved Auston, and you knew he loved you. He was the only person you wanted to get that bracelet from, except for like, your mom or dad.

“Okay,” you agreed. “You promise?”

Auston dragged his index finger over the left side of his chest. “Cross my heart,” he confirmed.

This time, it was your turn to say, “Cool.”

“I asked my mom to hold onto it,” you heard him telling you now. Now that you’d become the people you’d said you’d be. Now that you both had grown into the farfetched dreams you’d shared as children. Now that you’d come back home — back to one another. Now that he was here, in front of you, again. “I just couldn’t bear to take it back, even though I honestly never thought I’d get the chance to give it to you.”

You were shaking your head endlessly, attempting to stop tears from streaking your face. “I can’t believe this...” you said, awestruck.

“I don’t have to put this on you right now,” Auston said, swallowing his own tears he felt creeping up on him. “I just want you to have it. It’s yours. You should keep it.”

With a few swipes at your undereyes, you rubbed away the wetness on your hands and then extended your left wrist to Auston. A smile flashed briefly across his lips before he set them in a straight line once more.

“Are you sure?” he asked, caution in his voice.

You pulled him in by his waist, beaming, before you answered.

“I’ve played this out basically every night since I left,” you told him. “Even when I was with somebody. I just followed the path my mind was taking me all the way to the very end, until there was no place left to go. And it always leads to you. It always leads me home.”

Auston pulled you into a searing kiss, both of you smiling into it, before he squeezed your hand and reached for the box, carefully disassembling the bracelet so that he could put it on you at last.

“All day I’ve been thinking about what I said earlier. About running,” you spoke as Auston worked on securing the bracelet. “I started running and running and it’s been such a mess since then. Nothing about the past three years made any sense to me. And then I saw you, and… it all made sense again. You and I were the only thing that ever made sense to me,” you told him, your voice wavering as he twisted the final screw into place, lifting the inside of your wrist to his lips and placing a warm, reverent kiss to the skin there, his eyes never leaving yours as he did. “So I’m done. I’m done running, Auston. I can’t run anymore.”

“You have no fucking clue how long I’ve waited to hear you say that,” Auston admitted, touching his forehead to yours before leaning back. “So, to your earlier point... what the hell are we supposed to do now?”

You ran a frazzled hand through your long hair and bit at the inside of your cheek as you formulated your response. “I mean, I have to go back, Aus. I’m working on a really big project...”

Your words put him into a tailspin of his own this time, watching the dreams he had let resurface over the last two days come crashing down in front of him all over again. You were eluding him. Again.

His ears were buzzing so loudly that he barely heard your next words.

“But maybe after that... I could come and spend some time in Toronto?”

Auston pulled his tongue away from the roof of his dry mouth and pleaded, in a voice barely above a whisper, “Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t say that unless you really mean it,” he said, desperation in his tone.

“I mean, really, I don’t have a choice,” you pointed out with a breathy laugh, your fingers tracing the cold metal of the bangle around your other wrist. “I don’t see any other way that this ends. Not after this. This perfect fucking weekend. I mean... do you?”

“No,” he quickly retorted. “No, I don’t. I was just scared that you... that this was going to be it for you. That we would have this incredible time together and then it would just be another chapter in the Auston and Kelsey history book.”

You smoothed your hands over his lapels, allowing your body to fully relax into his.

“Auston, this... this is different,” you said somberly. “Before, it all just felt like too much. I got scared. We were so young, Aus. I mean, we’re still young, but we were babies. And now... I’ve realized that dealing with the press and the social media and the fans... it’s worth it to me. I’ll never like it. But I love you. And that’s enough. That will always be more than enough for me — being with you. And I’m so sorry that it’s taken me this long, that it took me finally coming back home, to realize that.”

“Don’t be sorry, Kels, please,” Auston whispered, one hand clutching at your hip, the other tangled in the hair at the back of your head as he held onto you with everything he had, knowing he was ready to do so for as long as you would let him. “Just... just say it again, baby. Please?”

“I love you, Aus,” you whispered, tears falling freely down your cheeks as he pressed his forehead to yours. “I’m never gonna stop.”

“Don’t stop,” Auston pleaded, nuzzling his nose against yours before pressing his lips to your mouth. “Don’t ever stop. Promise?” he asked, his voice gravelly.

“Cross my heart,” you whispered, drawing a pretend line across your chest before cupping his cheek and kissing him tenderly.

296 notes · View notes