#this took me like an hour lmao and its gonna be such a pain to edit as i post more

[the-sixxth-sinner]

Alexi's Art & Fics masterpost

AO3

Ko-Fi

Mötley Crüe

Art

demon!Nikki (based on @arnold-layne 's fic "Ex Malo Bonum")

Christmas comic

Vince (based on @tattooed-lies 's fic "Add it up")

Nikki as a Caravaggio painting

A very cool portrait of Nikki made with water and salt

Tommy sketches

Vince sketches

"God Bless the children of the Beast" pt. 1 (demon!Terror Twins portraits)

God Bless the children of the Beast pt. 2 (demon!Vince & Mick portraits)

Old ass Nikki portrait

Old ass Crüe fanart

Baby boy. Baby (Nikki w a dog collar sketch)

Tommy portrait (inking and shadows practice)

Run. (Tommy piece based on this fanfic on AO3)

City Boy Blues

Mötley taröts

stripper!Vince

Birthday moodboards

Vince

Mick

Tommy

Nikki

Fics

Terminus (See you in Hell) cover art playlist (Nikki's last moments before taking the extreme step. tw for suicide and drug abuse)

Mask of Sanity (inspired by American Psycho. Nikki has a bad trip and uh... shit happens. tw for sex, drugs & violence)

Rebel Rouser (Nikki Sixx x fem!reader. set in the 70s, reader has a crush on frankie and they skip school together. tw for underage sex)

To: my future self (Nikki writes a letter to his future self. tw for depression)

Sumthin' for Nuthin' (a series where i took the concept of gigolo!Nikki and ran with it)

Ep. 1 (Vinikki) (tw for homophobia and smut)

Ep. 2 (tw for smut and light bdsm)

Ep. 3 (tw for smut (who wouldve guessed) and public sex among other nasty stuff)

The Dogs d'Amour

Art

Tyla sketches

Tyla in his own art style

How come it never rains?

Tyla portrait

Jo Dog

Bam Bam

Planetary Pied Piper

Pourin' Out My Heart

Digital remakes of two of my faves

My Chemical Romance

Art

All Hail the Rat King (Gerard)

Gerard short shorts sketches.jpg

Gerard clown outfit sketch.jpg

Sailor Senshi Gerard!!

You Must Fix Your Heart (tattoo flashes)

Can You Stake My Heart? (vampire!Gerard sketch)

Frank Iero nosebleed.jpg

American Gothic (Gee+Frank)

St. Gerard d'Arc

Our Lady of Sorrows (Gee as the Virgin Mary)

❗Party Poison

Bonus:

I hope I die before they save my soul (Frank fanart)

Edits

The Foundations of Decay (tw religion)

Cringe is Dead and I Killed Her (glittery edits of Gerard, Frank & Ray)

Other

Art

Angels don't Kill (Children of Bodom)

Raw Meat = Blood Drool (The Editors)

Lani Sparks as St. Sebastian (requested by @psychicequalizer )

In loving memory (Chris Cornell)

Maya the Psychic

Moodboards

LA PAURA DEL BUIO (Måneskin)

[coridallasmultipass]

.

[kaeyachi]

I finished the 5.1 archon quest...

first off, its a long one, and you will be actively moving for over 2 hours (and I do mean active) so you might need to time yourselves before starting Natlan AQ4.

not gonna lie, i dont think i have the emotional capability to function much after finishing it. the fact that for 2 entire hours of the AQ 4, I was full on sobbing...

heavy spoilers for genshin 5.1 below:

himeko death flags are still here

seeing a monster and death counter was haunting. Both of those rising as i proceed was haunting

being given a choice where to go and knowing you not going to the other location could mean that group's death was also haunting

arriving too late to several locations and seeing all of those dead bodies scattered was haunting

chuychu's death was so damn painful, and chasca's reaction hurt too (im thinking of Kaeya and Diluc in that position so I hurt myself more

finding out vichama died was a slap to the face but hey, at least he and his friend are together again

the cutscenes were cool but my tears made them hard to see so i might need to watch them on youtube later

hearing a baby saurians cries as the lone survivor... hnghh...

but there are some good too

the will to fight, the kindness and compassion from everyone. it really motivated me to go crazy despite fighting the abyss for OVER AN HOUR

finally i have 1 more confirmation and that is the fact that Mavuika is a member of the Scions of the Canopy, but what surprised me is finding out Burkina is her childhood best friend (i guess that's where the Kinich favoritism came from)

Capitano is still open to being Anfortas Alberich, Perinheri, or any other member of the sinners list of Khaenri'ah

wait i got reminded, but yes mavuika punched the false sky so hard she opened us all up to HSR lmao

more edit coz some thoughts popped up

i genuinely figured that Chasca was our last chosen one coz she was our only option from the flower-feather clan, but the fact that it took the death of chuychu...AFTER THEY GAVE US A MINI PORTION WITH THEM WORKING TOGETHER?!?!?!?! foooooouuuulll

Paimon's reaction at seeing all the dead bodies... her being left to no other reaction but to gasp...she sounds like she wants to cry...and this is a repeated event of us seeing a group of dead bodies in several locations. Just arriving too late far too many times...yeah it left my heart heavy...

there was a long period of time where kinich is the only one left on the map, so honestly Ajaw asking how tf he survived is so effing real like BRO??? HUH??

for a moment, the death counter reached over 4k and i looked at it in horror until the number went back to 1k+ (which is still horrifying), and i never thanked the ode to resurrection as much as i did until that moment pls

I need a breather. the quest is lore and emotions heavy.

[ghost-1-y]

trust me - sanemi shinazugawa

Pairing: sanemi x afab!tsuguko!reader

!!PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS BEFORE CONTINUING!!

TW: major character death (reader), no happy ending (hurt/no comfort), mentions & descriptions of gore & injury, brief thoughts of self-harm (Sanemi - briefly mentioned, doesn’t actually happen), consensual sex (Sanemi and reader are 18+), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, handjob, oral (m! and f! receiving), creampie, Sanemi is pussy drunk in this lmao; spanking (happens once), slight manhandling, praise kink, spitting kink(?) (Sanemi spits in readers mouth), (very) slight olfactophilia, brief mention of vomit (again, doesn’t actually happen), mention of scars (Sanemi and reader) MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI - I WILL BLOCK YOU

CW: fluff; general angst; arguments between Sanemi and reader; Sanemi is a bit of a meanie at times :/ (aka Sanemi being Sanemi); mentions of food/eating; descriptions of wound care; love confessions; Sanemi uses the following pet names for reader: “baby”, “pretty”, “beautiful”, and “sweetheart”

Word Count: ~6.2k

A/N: this is my first fic, so I hope that y’all enjoy it! I’m not gonna lie I was superrr nervous to post this lol so please be nice🥲🥲 I’ll probably do a fluffy comfort fic for Sanemi after this to make up for the pain lol; also wanted to let y’all know that this was half-inspired by the song “Fragile” by Laufey, so go give that a listen if you’d like!

Quiet. 

As the dewy drops of the morning mist came into contact with his bare hands, Sanemi noted the silence of the sunrise – one would believe that its light denoted respite, a time of peace – something beautiful to behold as its rays began to gently sweep across the grassy field. He could not yet hear the calls of the mourning dove, for it was too early for the birds to grace anyone’s ears with their softening sounds.

However, as Sanemi continued his way through the tall blades, his hands wet with the remnants of night, respite gave way to apprehension, and the misty air was filled with a sense of malaise.

For the mist that lowly hovered above the grass was red.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

One year ago.

“You can’t expect me to treat you differently from them.” Sanemi pointed his blade to the lower-ranked slayers on the sidelines of the training grounds, those who hadn’t passed out yet being completely keeled over or having nearly drowned themselves in water to stave off the summer heat. “If you want to handle stronger opponents, I need to ensure that you are trained well enough to do so.”

Having been at the point of near-exhaustion herself, Y/N could barely muster a reply. “I know, Shinazugawa-san,” she panted while looking up at him from her not-so-flattering position on the ground. “Why else do you think I’m here? ‘s not like I enjoy being trained half-to-death,” she replied sarcastically.

Sanemi’s glare met her. “You should consider yourself lucky that I was gracious enough to let you train under me. At the rate you’re going, I’d half expect you to move down a rank, rather than up one.” He walked towards her and, despite his cold nature, offered Y/N his scarred hand. “Get up. I’m not lettin’ you go until you can knock me down to my knees.”

A challenge she knew to be nearly impossible with the skill level she was currently at, Y/N wondered if her rank of Hinoto meant anything against the Wind Pillar himself. She took his roughened hand in hers and stood up, and, after a poor attempt at dusting the dirt off of her uniform, steeled herself once more for the upcoming attack from the man glaring across from her. 

Sanemi tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword and started lunging toward her.

–––––

Y/N continued to train under Sanemi’s watch, each day somehow more grueling than the last. She woke up at the god-awful hours of the morning and trained until midnight. This repeated day in and day out for weeks, with seemingly nothing to show for it except a bunch of creative insults that she’d managed to add to her arsenal after receiving them from Sanemi himself.

“You’re not using your sword correctly,” he pointed out. It was always something, she thought – her stance was wrong, her breathing wasn’t efficient enough, and now she apparently couldn’t even hold her sword correctly.

By the time she looked up at Sanemi, frustrated with her apparent inadequacies, he was no longer in front of her, having walked around so that her back faced him. He placed his hand on her forearm, “just– move your arms here…good, and your hands should be like this–” he spoke softly into her ear as he adjusted her grip to what he deemed satisfactory. Y/N was thankful that Sanemi stood behind her as she felt an intense warmth flood across her cheeks. By the time he was finished, Y/N noted the lightest blush on the tips of his ears as he returned to his original spot and took his own offensive stance, clearly not intending nor wanting to address the familiarity of his previous actions. 

“Now you don’t have any excuses to have such a shitty attack pattern,” he quipped, before engaging her in battle once more.

As months passed, the Wind Pillar slowly transitioned from insults to providing Y/N with actual guidance, and she was slowly reminded of why exactly she requested to become his Tsuguko in the first place. One day, while she was taking her thirty-minute lunch break at the wooden chabudai inside of the Wind Pillar’s estate, Sanemi sat next to her and started to eat his own meal. He refused to look at her, but the words he uttered from his mouth sent relief through her veins.

“You’ve gotten stronger.”

Unsure of how to respond, as compliments were rare coming from the usually rather hostile Pillar, Y/N simply nodded and whispered a “thank you,” continuing to pick at her food. Eventually, she looked over at him and noticed that he was frowning at the wooden chabudai before him, an internal conflict seemingly battling out in his mind.

“I have a mission I’ve been assigned to, I’d like you to come with me.”

His words were quiet, almost hesitant.

“You want me to assist you?” she asked, mainly because she didn’t believe Sanemi had trusted her enough to bring her on a mission assigned to a Hashira, much less himself.

Sanemi nodded in response. “Lower-ranked slayers have been going missing in one of the nearby mountains,” he sighed. “If it were up to me, I wouldn’t have named them slayers in the first place if they’re stupid enough to get caught by some demon.” He paused, and then finally looked at her. “I think that you’re capable enough to help me should things get out of hand,” he added quietly.

A sense of warmth flooded through her, and she smiled at him, grateful that he had finally acknowledged the hard work she’d put into all of her training. “Thank you, Shinazugawa-san. I promise that I will do my best.”

Sanemi thought to himself that he would like to see more of that smile.

“Don’t think that just ‘cause I’ve seen you improve that it means I’m gonna let you take it easy from here on out,” he said as he stood up. “Also, if you get into trouble on this mission, I want you to call for me immediately. Don’t get yourself into some shit you can’t handle,” he added, and his gaze upon her suddenly hardened as the words left his mouth. “Let me deal with it if things get too difficult.”

With that, he left to head back towards the training grounds.

–––––

That night, Y/N followed closely behind as Sanemi hiked up the mountain, with the bitter cold becoming more apparent as patches of snow were slowly augmented by the tiny flakes falling around them. Every once in a while, they’d find some blood splatter or human entrails, with such carnage becoming more frequent as they continued their trek. 

Eventually, Sanemi stopped – Y/N had learned to trust his instinct when he sensed that something was off. Sanemi brushed his hand over the hilt of his sword and gripped it tightly, his muscles tensing with anticipation, which caused Y/N to echo his actions and grab her own sword, holding it so that she was prepared for any possible enemy attack.

Or so she thought.

A blast of icy wind came from her right, forcing Y/N to close her eyes lest her corneas were to freeze from the frigid temperature. Sanemi, however, immediately chased after the source – his speed something frightening to behold. After a futile attempt to follow him, Y/N found herself swarmed by fifteen demons, all of whom were nearly identical to each other, as they all possessed the same pale blue skin and white hair. After a few attacks, Y/N also noted that their blood demon art was the same: one that would allow them to manipulate freezing winds and ice however they pleased.

Y/N was able to hear Sanemi in the distance, easily decapitating what seemed to be a larger swarm than what she was presently dealing with. Just how many of them are there? Y/N thought as she made her way through twelve of the demons, decapitating each one until an attack managed to hit her mid-air – causing a sharp ice fragment to deeply slice open her upper thigh. Gritting through the pain, she finished off the final three demons that she’d been fighting before slowly limping toward a nearby tree to assess the damage of her wound. It seemed as though Sanemi’s battle was also over, as Y/N could hear nothing but the howling of the mountainous winds as he walked back over to where they both had split up.

Once Sanemi caught sight of her, his shoulders seemed to relax. However, such relief was temporary once he eyed her bleeding thigh, and immediately began rushing over to her, pulling out some spare gauze that he had stored on his person and a wave of anger that she couldn’t describe filling the violet hues of his eyes.

“What did I fuckin’ tell you? To stay back and let me handle it, yet you’re so stupid that you can’t even obey direct orders,” Sanemi spat at her as he started bandaging the deep laceration on her thigh, taking careful consideration of the pressure and tightness of the gauze wrap he was using. Each time she winced, he would look up from her injury, and his violet eyes would meet hers. However, there was no malice of the words he spewed at her within his expanded pupils.

Y/N sharply inhaled before responding. “I’m sorry! But you’re the one who went on ahead and left me with them! I had to–”

“No. You didn’t have to, you fuckin’ dumbass. That’s where you’re wrong – you didn’t have to put yourself in danger just because I was off dealing with something else. Fuckin’ think next time and maybe I wouldn’t have to be cleaning you up like this,” he lightly choked on the last few words, yet continued wrapping up her wound, hands gentle and considerate of her pain. Y/N huffed at his impossible reasoning and looked down at him with a hardened stare.

He looked into her eyes once more, his grip on her uninjured leg tightening. “I don’t- I can’t fuckin’ lose someone else,” he stated, a rare glimpse of vulnerability from inside his tortured heart. At that, Y/N dropped her stare and hesitantly placed her hand upon his tensed one.

“I’m sorry, Shinazugawa-san, I promise that next time will be different. I’ll get stronger, so you won’t have to go to such lengths for me.” She gave him a reassuring smile, and his hand relaxed as he continued his work on her wounded leg. With the sun still rising over the horizon, she couldn’t make out the brimming of tears on his waterline before he blinked them away.

It was a side of Sanemi that Y/N hadn’t seen before – but before she could indulge herself to begin examining every crevice of emotion that the Wind Pillar had put on display for her, his attitude changed once again to one of apparent indifference.

“Don’t apologize – just listen to me next time,” he stated as he finished wrapping up her leg. Once a couple of hours passed and the Kakushi had arrived to clean up the aftermath, he stood up and grabbed Y/N’s arm to pull her up from her sitting position. Sanemi then took the same arm and put it around his shoulder, allowing her to use him as a crutch as they both walked to the wagon brought by one of the Kakushi in the aftermath of the battle.

The ride to the Butterfly Mansion was mostly quiet. Sanemi, despite not being injured himself, decided to stay with Y/N as she slept on the floor of the wagon. The cold of the early morning seemed to be permeating Y/N’s skin as she shivered in her sleep. Always aware of his surroundings, Sanemi looked at her with concern and took off his haori, feeling slightly flushed as he placed it on top of her as a makeshift blanket, blaming the warmth of his cheeks on the cold morning air. He sat down next to her, crossing his arms and closing his eyes to alleviate some of his own fatigue.

It didn’t help that in his dreams, his body was keeping her warm instead.

–––––

Once Y/N had woken up, she first noted the sanitary scent of the patient room assigned to her. Having awoken from the gentle knock on the door, she looked to see Aoi entering with some gauze and antibiotics.

Sanemi was nowhere in sight.

“I’m glad you’re awake. I’m here to perform some general wound care for you. I’ll be changing your dressings, alright?” Aoi looked at her, and once she received a nod from Y/N, she proceeded to unwrap the layers of gauze and started to inspect the wound.

“There is some slight inflammation,” she observed as she lightly pressed against the sides of the laceration with her gloved hands, which exhibited some redness and swelling. “I’m going to be prescribing you some antibiotics in order to prevent any potential infections.” She started applying some antibiotic ointment directly to the wound, and Y/N winced at the stinging pain that it caused. Once satisfied, Aoi carefully rewrapped the wound with a new set of gauze. “Your antibiotics will need to be taken orally with food and water once a day. Make sure you complete the entire course that I prescribe so that you don’t face any further complications down the line.” 

All Y/N could do was nod silently, and once Aoi determined that she would follow directions, she left the room.

–––––

Despite wanting to thank him for helping her in the aftermath of the battle, Y/N had not seen Sanemi even once during her recovery process. She wondered if he had gone back to his estate, but it still struck her as odd that he didn’t at least come by to berate her for the lack of judgment she possessed in the midst of the fight.

Maybe he got it all out of his system when he was wrapping up my wound, she thought to herself.

During her stay as a patient, Aoi mentioned to Y/N that due to the cut slicing through the muscle of her leg, it could take weeks or even months to recover. Since Y/N had not yet mastered Total Concentration Breathing: Constant, Aoi explained that it may take longer to heal compared to if a Hashira had such an injury.

Y/N wondered if Sanemi no longer trusted her skills as a slayer.

She wondered if Sanemi ever had any trust in her at all. 

The very thought caused bile to rise in her throat. She wanted him to be proud of her, to trust her – just as she did with him.

Y/N slowly got up from her bed and walked outside to sit on the engawa of the Butterfly Mansion. The moon’s rise was slow, and the soft chirp of crickets could be heard from the nearby trees. Once sat, she admired the garden owned by the Insect Pillar herself – with beautiful azaleas and hydrangea plants shaping pathways throughout the grounds. Y/N closed her eyes and basked in the moonlight rays that shone upon the estate – that is, until her ears heard the softest creak of wood coming from behind her.

“Shinazugawa-san?” She softly whispered once she turned to see who it was, as though the peace of the night would be disturbed should she speak any louder.

Sanemi said nothing, but then moved quietly to sit down next to her – if Y/N hadn’t known any better, she would’ve believed that he was solely there just to admire the moonlit garden as well. His eyes appeared a soft, yet dark hue of indigo in the cool moonlight – they bore none of the usual aggression that they carried when around others.

“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” Y/N asked him quietly, gaze fixed upon him, and he nodded. 

“Would be prettier if it didn’t cause so much needless death.”

She couldn’t argue at all. He was right – and would be until demons had been eradicated off the face of the earth, but that didn’t stop her from wishing that things were different.

Sanemi sighed and finally looked at her, and his eyes screamed ‘loss’. 

He was fragile. He wasn’t the roughened-up, aggressive, insolent slayer that others saw him as. Rather, it was his scars that held him together by threads, and it was his heart that silently called out to her – to “hold me, please.”

And so she did.

Y/N slowly slid her arms around him and had them reach up towards his nape. The sigh he emitted came from his chest, and Sanemi’s grip tightened around her as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. His eyes closed and brows furrowed, focused on nothing but the gentle touch of her skin against his. His mouth was slightly parted, lips pressed softly near her collarbone as he breathed against her.

His touch was warm.

She wished to feel more of it, to let it utterly consume her until all that she could feel was him. 

Once he parted from her, Y/N looked into his eyes and felt the need to speak. “I- uh, I wanted to thank you for helping me with my wound after the battle,” she admitted softly. In response, his eyes hardened again and looked down at her bandaged leg.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied shortly before getting up. Soon after, Y/N found herself alone on the engawa once again, although the peaceful silence of the night had been replaced with a feeling of despondency that she couldn’t quite place.

–––––

By the time she recovered from her injury, it seemed as though Sanemi had done the impossible by making Y/N’s training even more difficult. Not a day went by when she wasn’t completely collapsed on the ground by sunset. It only took a few days before dark shadows under her eyes became visible, and her muscles ached.

Gone too was Sanemi’s softer side. Instead, it seemed as though their relationship was right back where it started, sans the fact that he seemed to slightly tense every single time he caught a glimpse of her scarred leg.

The sun had set, and Sanemi was yelling at Y/N to complete one more series of reps before retiring for the night. The problem, however, was that Y/N’s legs had become gelatinous and were shaking beyond her control, and despite all the willpower that she had sustained within her, it wasn’t enough to pick herself up off the ground.

“Are you really that fuckin’ weak that you can’t even stand up by yourself?” he spat. “You should’ve never become a slayer – this shit is too dangerous for people like you. All you will ever be is demon fodder. Fuckin’ give up and leave the corps if that’s how you’re going to treat the training I give you.” His insults were never-ending, and given how exhausted she was, it took everything within her to not cry at his words.

“I’m fucking trying, Shinazugawa-san!” she choked out. “What the hell did I do for you to treat me this way? Have I not done enough already?” With tears brimming in her eyes, she musters up the courage to ask the question she’s been wondering since that night on the battlefield.

“Do you not have any trust in me at all?” she cried.

Sanemi scoffed and glared at her. “You need to earn my trust, and until you’re able to complete the training I give you without collapsing to the ground like some low-ranked slayer, then you won’t have it.”

Y/N’s stomach dropped and she ignored the tightening sensation in her throat as she resolved to bite back at the cruel man before her.

“Bullshit,” she spat. “You thought I was capable enough to assist you on the last mission. Don’t lie by saying I’ve never earned your trust before.”

Sanemi rolled his eyes. “So what? Maybe I did trust you – before the mission. But you fucking broke it by getting hurt!” he seethed, eyes wide as he looked down at her. 

“Maybe if you were capable enough to not get yourself wounded during the fight, then I might’ve still had some trust in you,” he admitted. “You think that I’m just gonna trust someone who gets their leg nearly sliced off to be able to handle themselves?”

“Is that what this is all about? ‘Cause I got some stupid cut on my leg? You can’t be serious–”

“Shut the fuck up. You know damn well it wasn’t just a cut. What if you had gotten slashed somewhere else? What if it had been more severe? What if you–” he didn’t wish to complete that sentence, lest he spoke the thought into existence.

It was the first time she’d seen Sanemi with tears in his eyes.

“It would’ve been my fault, Y/N! My fucking fault if something happened to you! I already told you, I can’t fucking lose someone else. I’ve already lost so many people, and I–” he watched as Y/N stood up, despite the obvious exhaustion in her legs, and walked towards him. “I can’t lose you, too,” he confessed, his voice softer than the wind that gently breezed through her hair. A tear had found its way down his cheek – just over the scar that was bestowed upon him by his own mother. As if by instinct, Y/N wiped it away with the pad of her thumb, but she did not part from his face. Instead, she proceeded to trace her thumb over the jagged scar, and he surprisingly leaned into the touch of her palm against his cheek, his eyes frantically searching her own. She smiled at him, and his breath caught in his throat.

“You have me, Sanemi.”

The groan that he voiced was soft, yet guttural – as though it came from deep within his chest, and he placed his hands on either side of her face, his eyes looking at her with utmost adoration and care, and his lips brushed softly against hers, and Y/N’s eyes were nearly sent reeling back before he closed the gap.

The pleasurable gasp that she emitted caused him to smile into the kiss, his lips slightly chapped, but gentle and loving with how they caressed hers, as though she would shatter under the slightest touch, or that she was a goddess and he a sinner seeking repentance by worshiping her.

“Fuck…wanted to do this for so long,” he breathed against her and his kisses became more needy – something fully welcomed by Y/N as she wrapped her arms around him and her fingers found purchase in his unruly hair. When he parted from her lips, a string of saliva connected his mouth to hers, which only broke as he went back to kiss her with his then swollen lips. He groaned once more before picking her up and carrying her over his shoulder, causing Y/N to yelp in surprise.

“Not letting you go anywhere, baby,” Sanemi grinned and smacked Y/N’s ass as he took her to his estate’s bedroom, which prompted her to roll her eyes at his antics. Yet, she couldn’t help but smile as he gently placed her on his futon and kissed her once more. “Can’t fuckin’ get enough of you, pretty,” he stated before moving down to her neck, where he licked and sucked until he found her pulse point, at which point Y/N moaned softly. “That’s right…feels good, doesn’t it?” he asked, knowing full well what her answer was even before she tried to nod her head.

“Sa- Sanemi…” she gasped, her hand cradling the back of his head as he left messy kisses up and down her neck.

“Sound so fuckin’ beautiful, keep saying my name like that, hm?” As he continued kissing her, his hands rose towards the top button of her uniform, a question of “Can I?” to which Y/N nodded. He unbuttoned her top, kissing down her chest and stomach until the clothing was fully removed. In return, Y/N helped remove the bindings that covered her breasts, letting them spill out in full view of Sanemi’s greedy irises. Sanemi wasted no time in latching his mouth to one of her tits, where he lavished her with his tongue whilst massaging and kneading the other with his roughened hand, rolling her nipple in between his fingers and playfully biting down on her breasts every so often solely to hear her whine.

“‘Nemi…need…need more please,” Y/N moaned and he chuckled. “Hm? What do you need, pretty?” Y/N only whined in response and he bit her breast again, causing her to jolt. “Need you to tell me what you want, beautiful,” he continued.

“Need your mouth…” she admitted, slightly embarrassed.

“Oh? Where do you need it?” he asked her before sucking her tit once more.

“Nngh… my– my pussy,” Y/N whined pathetically, to which Sanemi released his mouth from her breast with a lewd pop.

“Good girl,” he praised and started working towards her needy cunt, licking down her torso and leaving kisses and bites on her inner thighs. He took his time working towards her wet heat and ghosted his mouth over her panties, his hot breath permeating the cloth as she impatiently writhed underneath him. He selfishly inhaled her scent before pulling the garment to the side, and leaving a soft kiss against her core, leaving her to whimper when he pulled away to remove her panties, only for him to then lick a fat stripe up her slit. Sanemi moaned deeply and proceeded to pull Y/N towards him by her hips, ensuring that her sweetness was as close as possible to his greedy tongue.

“You taste so fucking good,” he groaned before proceeding to stuff his face full of her pussy once more. The tip of his nose nudged her swollen clit as he gathered her wetness into his mouth by licking into her tight hole and fucking her with his tongue, moaning against her pussy in the process. Y/N began bucking her hips in response, only for him to pin them down with one arm as he used his other hand to start fingering her after moving his mouth to suck on her clit. She moaned with abandon as he began curling his fingers inside of her heat, sucking voraciously on her swollen nub.

“F-Fuck, ‘Nemi! I- I’m gonna cum!” Y/N attempted to writhe underneath him, despite being held back by Sanemi’s arm pinning her down. Her admission only turned Sanemi more eager, causing him to rut against the mattress as he began quickening his fingers inside her and sucking harder on her clit. Y/N’s eyes rolled back and her mouth went agape, screaming and shaking uncontrollably as she came into his awaiting mouth. He licked up every drop that she gave him, using his fingers to coax more of her release onto his tongue, not wanting to waste any of her precious gift.

Y/N sat up and clambered onto him as soon as she came down from her orgasm, and kissed him deeply, tasting herself on his lips and tongue. “Wanna return the favor, ‘Nemi,” she whispered and he flushed red at the thought. “Yeah? Show me, pretty.” Standing up, he tilted her chin with one hand so that she was forced to look up at him from her knees. Using his other hand, he unbuckled his belt and removed it along with his hakama. His cock was thick, with pretty veins traveling all across it, making her nearly drool at the sight. Y/N brought one hand up and collected the precum from the tip of his cock with her thumb, before licking it off. Sanemi groaned, encouraging her to begin stroking his fat dick despite her hand being unable to fully reach around it. She took a curious first lick at his pretty, bulbous head, causing him to shudder, before wrapping her lips around it and sucking as she moved her hand along his thick length.

“Fuck, baby,” Sanemi groaned. Y/N moved her hand to fondle his balls and began taking on more of his length into her mouth, bobbing her head back and forth, a combination of saliva and precum coating his dick. “S-shit– you’re so good at that… fuck,” he groaned.

It took everything within Sanemi to not start fucking her throat at that moment – not wanting to hurt her as she pleasured him. He compromised by grabbing her hair and gently guiding her mouth along his cock, so that he could have some semblance of control over her movements and hence, his orgasm. Before he could cum, he removed her from his length and put his hand underneath her chin, tilting her head up towards his face – a wave of arousal shooting straight through his dick as he saw her swollen, spit-covered lips. “Open,” he commanded, and proceeded to spit into Y/N’s mouth before seeking her lips on his, demanding that she swallow. “Such a good girl for me, I’m gonna fill you up and make you feel perfect, baby,” he promised. 

Sanemi pushed her down onto the bed, spreading her legs apart with his. He stroked his cock a few times before lining it up with Y/N’s sopping pussy, selfishly rubbing it up and down her slick folds a few times. He looked into her eyes, seeing her smiling up at him before leaning down and giving a soft kiss to her lips. Y/N moaned softly — unable to wait any longer as she gently wrapped her fingers around his cock, pushing the tip into her tight cunt.

He slowly entered her heat, his shaft stretching open her spongy walls, and he let out a low moan. He lowered himself so that his chest was pressed up against her and his head was in the crook of her neck, and he took Y/N’s hands in his as he started to fuck slowly into her.

“Shit, you’re so perfect for me. You feel so good, baby,” Sanemi moaned and kissed her neck sweetly. Y/N whined as he slowly pulled out just to push his cock back in again – hitting the area that made her see stars. He chuckled, “your pussy just keeps sucking me back in, sweetheart – it’s like she doesn’t want me to leave.” Y/N responded by babbling incoherently, and he looked up at her only to see tears brimming her eyes from the pure pleasure he so graciously gave, and instinctively kissed them away. “Taking my cock so well, such a good girl,” he said before his mouth reached hers, tongue darting between her parted lips before caressing her tongue with his.

His thrusts started to become more desperate, nearly grinding into her – incidentally rubbing against her clit in the process. She moaned against his mouth, her kisses sloppy against his swollen lips. “So good, ‘Nemi…” she whimpered, allowing herself to get lost in the pleasure and heat that he was providing her. He choked on a moan as he continued to rut into her, the squelching sounds of her pussy driving him nearly insane, “gonna cum, pretty. Where– where do you want it?” he asked, surprised he even had the coherency to form words as his mind was half gone from pleasure.

“Inside,” she whined, and his eyes widened, the building tension in his gut rising. “Are you sure?” he asked, and she nodded, writhing underneath him. 

“Need it inside…please,” she begged him, and who was he to deny her? His thrusts became sloppier, and he let go of one of her hands to reach down and rub her clit. The pleasure was immense, and Y/N couldn’t think about anything but him as she clenched around his cock as her orgasm flooded through her body – which consequently brought Sanemi over the edge as well, as he all but exploded inside of her hot cunt, groaning deeply as his cum flooded into her womb in thick ropes – causing her to moan and babble incoherently. “Fuck! Fuck– Y/N, I fucking love you,” he confessed in his state of euphoria, and Y/N only fully grasped what he said once he had collapsed on top of her – having just enough energy to pull him up towards her lips to kiss him once more – his lips hot and wet and swollen as they pressed against hers. “I love you too, ‘Nemi. So much,” she confessed, and he looked at her, slightly embarrassed by his own impromptu confession, but beyond elated that she felt the same way. 

He slid off of her, his softening cock slipping out of her pussy and he reached his arms around her – wanting nothing more than to hold her close to him as they both lay there on his futon. She smiled lazily in his arms and he kissed her cheek softly. “Not gonna let you go, baby, I swear. I won’t let anything bad happen to you – not anymore,” he said as he gently brushed his rough fingers against her newly formed scar. 

“I know, ‘Nemi. I promise I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered softly, and he smiled, thinking that he’d finally found someone to share himself with – someone whom he could shatter into should he feel like breaking, someone who could piece him back together so he could remain strong for the sake of others.

“I know, I trust you.”

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Oh, how wrong he was.

He swore to himself that he was only parted from her for a second as his pace and heart quickened – traversing through the blood-slicked greenery. Sanemi was plagued by loss – his siblings, his mother, his first love – but the feeling that it would happen yet again never lessened the blow nor the curdling acidity that coursed through his gut. 

He frantically searched each corpse along the battlefield, hoping, praying, that he wouldn’t find her among them. Sanemi never considered himself religious – he would rather not believe in any god than believe that an almighty being could allow such devastation to course through his life – through others' lives. However, while mustering the waning strength of his muscles to keep him from collapsing, he called out to the universe – selfishly pleading with it to allow him to keep even a single shred of happiness within his life, swearing that he would give anything to ensure her safety, to secure her life as part of his own.

But the universe turned its back on him once again, as he saw a glimpse of her hair – but it wasn’t her hair. No, Sanemi knew that her hair shined in the morning sunlight, it was beautiful and soft as he would feel it between his fingers – it was never bloodied like it was now. 

As he rushed over to Y/N, he nearly puked upon setting his eyes on her. There was a deep gash that cut through her torso – one that couldn’t have been caused by anything but the claws of a demon. He could see her entrails spewing out of it, and as his eyes traveled up towards her face, it was obvious that he was far too late. Her eyes – the ones he loved to get lost in, were lifeless; her lips – the ones that were so soft and loving when he kissed her, were parted in what seemed to be remnants of fear from the last moments of her life.

Sanemi couldn’t take it – and, as though pushed by an invisible force, he was knocked down to his knees.

A wretched sob escaped him as he reached towards her, uncaring of the blood and gore that stained his clothing, and he held her close to him. He sobbed out her name, wishing this was some horrible trick – some fucked up nightmare that he was subjected to, but the longer Sanemi held Y/N in his arms, the more he realized that this was real and that he had broken his promise once again – the promise to protect those close to him.

He picked her up and carried her to a clearing away from the battlefield – where a sole willow tree stood, and resolved to bury her there. As he placed Y/N into the ground, Sanemi wished to carve her name amongst the many scars on his body, so that maybe the blood spilled in her honor would somehow tether his soul to hers, so that he may permanently have her in a way that life itself could not provide.

Hours passed, and he finally managed to stand up once more, his heart hardened once again, and it took everything within him to not look back as he walked away from her gravesite. And, despite not wishing to look upon her grave again, Sanemi committed himself to continue living and fighting in her memory as Y/N slowly returned to dust underneath the lone willow.

And so he did — until his very last breath.

[jeonminhao]

Home • Minghao

Pairing : Xu Minghao x Fem! Reader

Genre : angst, fluff

Word Count : 1.1K

TW : mention of depression(?)

A.N. I'm trying to go back to writing again, this time with Seventeen :) since I am back into the Kpop world lmao. Pls lmk what you think! <3

"I cry, even without tears now. I cry again, just like breathing. Though I try to take a step away from the sorrow that has become my home, I cry on the doorsill. I cry, even without knowing it myself."

Tablo - 집 (Home) (Feat. Lee Sora)

Minghao stood in front of the glass door, his eyes fixed on the CLOSED sign. The flower bouquet he had been holding was wet from the rain, the petals falling pitifully on the gray pavement from how tight he was clutching the bouquet. He was late. Again. And he wasn’t sure if he’ll be forgiven. He quickly took out his phone once he found a canopy that could shield him from the rain, reading the string of texts you had sent him hours prior.

I am here! It’s pretty crowded. I found a place at the very back of the restaurant so we can talk. Saw Jeonghan and Wonwoo at the restaurant and he said you’re still at the studio? Hao, Where are you?  Is everything ok? It’s been 2 hours so i guess this means you’re not coming or forgot we’re supposed to meet up :) I’m gonna head back home. I think it’s going to rain soon. Don’t forget your umbrella. Text me soon.

He sighed. He didn’t mean to ignore your texts. His phone was set on his usual silent mode whenever he was working on his paintings. He swore he had remembered that you were supposed to meet at 8 PM in this new place Mingyu recommended the other day. He didn’t know when you two started to make this a thing, trying new places once a week and just hangout and talk about your lives. No. He did know. It was your idea and your twinkling eyes that always looked at him as if he was loved and deserving of one. And who could say no to that? To your gentle smile and warm hand that always finds its way wrapped in his. And he did enjoy it. How couldn’t he? He fell in love with you the first time Jeonghan introduced you to the group three years ago and had been ever since. But life seemed to have a way to fuck up everything he desired. 

He knew a bad day was inevitable and the darkness that wrapped around him like a blanket was not an unfamiliar feeling. Every day seemed like a chore. It was just exhausting. Even breathing exhausts him. But he thought it would be different this time. He thought having you by his side would lessen the pain. And maybe it did, to an extent. But he was drowning and he was just exhausted to even want to try. 

As if it wasn’t enough, his art project wasn’t progressing as well as he’d like and he kept scraping layers of paints and changing his canvases when they finally gave up on him. He had destroyed a half finished painting due to frustration and would’ve destroyed the rest of his paintings if you didn’t knock on his studio door.

And in the midst of his worries and struggle, he started to push everyone away. It was better to be alone. The coldness in his heart was more familiar than the warmth of your embrace and he was terrified. It was too foreign for him, the happiness, the warmth, and the feeling of belonging, of being home. 

“Hao?” Minghao startled, eyes quickly focused on the familiar figure standing under a black umbrella. 

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” was all he could say, mouth forming an ‘o’ shape. You were supposed to be mad at him for forgetting your ‘adventures’ for the nth times. You were supposed to throw tantrums and threaten to block him and end this friendship. But there you were, standing in front of him with the black satin dress he bought for you last month and the leather jacket that he realized was also a gift from him. You took tentative steps towards him, a smile blooming in your face once you finally stepped under the canopy.

“You texted me?”

Minghao looked down at his cold hand, the phone on his hand was still on with your chat window opened.

‘Sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m late again. Iloveyou. I’m s osoorry.’

He didn’t even remember when he typed those texts nor did he remember pressing the send button despite the typos.

He reread his text again and froze. “Y/N–,” 

“Did you mean that?” You asked, taking another step closer and Minghao could smell the familiar perfume on you and the scent of your favorite shampoo. “Did you mean it when you said you love me?” You asked again, this time in a whisper. 

It had been 3 years, 970 days to be exact (not that Minghao is counting) since he first fell in love with you. And not once, even in his drunken state, did he let himself text you and confess. Especially not in such a dumb way. He prided himself as someone who was always in control of his emotions, keeping everything hidden to make sure you wouldn’t be uncomfortable. But there he was, sober and doing the stupidest thing a Minghao could do. Not even drunk Soonyoung would do this, he fleetingly thought before he turned his attention back to you. 

“I brought you flowers. They’re ruined. Sorry. I know i shouldn’t be late and forgot but everything has been shit and–”

“I love you, Minghao.” Your words stopped his trainwreck of a thought. His eyes widened as he looked at you. “I thought you hated going with me and doing this… But Jeonghan said you kept telling him about our time and he said you really love it. And I noticed you’ve been kinda withdrawn ever since I saw you at the studio. You do know you are not alone right, Minghao?” You took his hand in you. It was cold but it was okay. Minghao was Minghao and he was anything but cold to you. “ It’s okay to have a difficult time, but don’t forget you have a lot of people who would do anything for you.”

“This seems more like an intervention than a confession.” He blurted out before both of you burst into giggles, the cold rain suddenly didn’t feel so cold anymore now that he had wrapped his arms around you, the bouquet long forgotten on the wet pavement. 

“It’s both.” Was all you said before pressing your lips against him. A gentle and wary kiss, as if you were terrified he’d hate it. He let go of one hand and cupped your cheek, pulling you into a deeper kiss, sighing in relief, his body relaxing under your touch and heated kiss. Murmurs of apologies and I love you’s keep spilling out of his lips as your hand clutch the front of his sweater as if he was your lifeline. 

Maybe the unfamiliar was okay. Maybe he could get used to this.

[mrplantfr]

Adam x loyal reader

I've never done this sorta thing so its definitely gonna be trash lmao

Warning!// major nsfw, swearing, religion. Minors, DNI

Adam and you were always together all day, and always talked about eachother. And, when you two got married, things just got more and more worse. By that, I mean obsession over eachother. Wearing eachother's clothes, using same products, always spooning when sleeping, per names, etc. Yk, the usual. Part of it was because he didn't want to loose you like his last wives.

One morning, your husband woke you up at the ass crack of dawn like a child on Christmas. He was estatic saying "Babe, c'mon! Wake up! Get up right now, please!". All you could do was groan and half assedly try to get up.

When you were finally awake completely, (sort of) you asked "Why are you even waking me up at four in the morning?" "Well," he responded "lucifer doesn't know i have a wife again, so I was thinking we could go to a meeting to show off I have a hot wife and he's rotting in hell! Doesn't that sound fun!?" No, it wasn't going to be, but he was so insecure and he looked so happy, you just had to.

As you were walking there, he was gushing saying how happy and excited he was to shove it in that he was married to a hottie and he couldn't steal you. But you were pretty concerned. You knew he was going to try and pull the same stuff as lillith and eve, but you knew it wouldn't work. But, you knew it would hurt your partner, wich hurt to think about. Of course, you held his arm the whole time.

When you arrived, you sat on Adam's lap instead of a chair, to make things clear. (And his dad bod made it really comfortable). "Jeez, its been half an hour, he should be here by now." you mentioned. "Don't worry your sexy little head off, it's gonna be worth it." He said in a villainous type of tone. All the sudden, BAM, the door flew open and lucifer stormed in. And then he noticedyou. "So, whos the lady? Rawrrr~" lucifer asked Adam. "My wife" he said smugly. "Oh, well," he leaned towards you "is this fatso really satisfying you, or is it pity?". Adam's giddy grin turned to an upset frown immediately. "YES I DO" he screamed, slaming hand on the table. "I asked her, not you." He said smugly. "So, be honest: what pain does he put you through in the sack?"

You immediately got up, "He is far better than you. You might think you can steal me like those two other tasteless home wrecking assholes, but not me, I have dignity in who I marry. Get your sorry ass away from me and my husband, with your lonely divorced ass who gave your daughter daddy issues." You pointed to the door, as he was taken aback. Adam was stunned, yet also thought it was hot not gonna lie.

Lucifer quickly stepped out, while you sat back on Adam's lap satisfied with what you had done. Adam stayed silent, but not for long. "Babe, that was- FUCKING HOT." He was hard as a rock, and you noticed. "I can tell, but, I love you. I wouldn't leave you for that twig." you said reassuringly, stroking his hair with your hands. A quick peck on the cheek from you and he carried you bridal style home, lovestruck. And when you got there, he was sure to fuck you shamelessly.

He threw you on the bed and ripped your pants off immediately. He didn't have time to take his robe off though, he just rolled it up and started thrusting. Your back was bouncing up and down off the mattress, making LOUD creaking sounds, and it was delightful. "A-adam~ fuck, ngh~" you moaned. "Scream for me, bitch." And you complied. "Fuck- THATS SO HOT" you screamed. with a load tone. He eventually took his cock out, and you were creaming like a mad man. "P-please~" you begged him to not stop, but then he, without warning, shoved two of his massive claws in your clit. "FUCK, BABE" you screamed in pleasure, surprisingly, the claws didn't hurt, or the pleasure was covering it up. He was happy with the screamed you made, music to his ears. "You're gonna love giving me head later, huh?" He said. "Y-yes, babe-" all the sudden, he stopped that too. You were upset, but let out a loud sigh, when all the sudden, he pulled you by your collar on your shirt. "You gonna show me what you're capable of, sweetie~?", he asked flirtingly. "Y-yes, anything for you."

"Good~" he said. Then you pulled your head down between his legs and put his tip in your mouth. You swirling your tongue around it made him groan. "F-fuck, babe-" he said under his breath, he was tired, but not too tired to get head at least. Then you started bobbing your head, slowly but damn, it felt good. He was making indescribable noises, but he was enjoying every moment.

Eventually, you two were too tired to continue, so you put your clothes back on and went to bed. "Good night, hot stuff." He said, before passing out. "Night, babe" you said as you kissed his forehead and went to bed aswell, holding eachother in a warm embrace.

WOW, that was a weird first fanfic, but I liked it. Tell me what you guys think and please don't bully me TVT

[kthecutest]

hi darls how are you today? anyways you know me ( I have another req🤸) and imma do a yuma smut req (being yuma biased is great🤸) (yuma!sub)

can you do yuma and you trying vibrators for the first time and you edge and then overstim him? and he's being a brat as well so uhm punishment! and hes gonna sort.of cry

thank darls<3 xoxo

-🤍anon

Hi girlieee! I'm doing great and I hope you are as well! <33 Sorry the post came back so late, I've been wrapped around in fluff requests so my hornyness wouldn't return but yesss today it returned and it's wilder than ever. So the smut came out way way longer LMAO just a warning though- this got so wild to the point that while I was proofreading I was basically heating up so bad (╥ᆺ╥；) I hope you'll love it my fav anon (*꒦ິ꒳꒦��) !

┏━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━┓

Pairing : sub!Yuma x dom!gn!reader Genre : NSFW (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ 🥕 A/N ೃ⁀➷ MINORS DNI

It’s been countless minutes, almost felt like hours to Yuma who is set in front of your figure in a desperate pitiful state. A black blindfold wrapped like a tapestry over his cat-like eyes while another piece of cloth was tied tightly around his mouth to restrict his moans and whimpers. The cloth no longer being able to do its job because the cat boy was nibling on it to the point it has rolled up into a thin line gagging him. An egg vibrator taped to his fully-hard dick on full display while his hands are tied tightly at the back, the ropes leaving marks on his snow-white skin. His legs aren’t tied though but the poor kitty cannot bring himself to close his legs from the embarrassing state since he was feeling too much pain and pleasure at the same time. And that pink shaking crystal-like dildo snucked warmly in his stretched hole was the cherry on top.

Yet despite all the components, there was not a single spot of whiteness or cum anywhere. You told him not to cum until you got your hands on him so the bratty but obedient kitty listened to you. Since he wasn’t ready for any more punishment after all. The worst part was that you were seated right in front of him watching his pitiful embarrassing state while sliding a plastic cock in and out of your drenched pussy, letting out wild moans just to trigger the desperate boy in full restriction. Not putting headphones on him was such a right idea.

After some more minutes of torture, his dick was already so red and swollen to the point it looked like on the edge of exploding. Feeling a bit merciful for the boy, you finished your fair share of fun and walked over to him, unravelling the cloth restrictions on his face. “Alright kitty~ you’ve done such a great job~ how does that feel hm~?” you kissed and licked all the tears sprawled out on his cheeks. “N- need to cum~ master please~ t- too much” he begged, stuttering, earning a smirk from you. “Who would have known the vibrators would change my bratty little kitty~” you grabbed onto the wired button that attached to the vibrating egg on his dick, turning it up while your other hand goes to stroke the base of his leaking cock. Just a few strokes and the boy was already falling apart right in front of you; eyes rolled to the back of his head while his legs shook in timing with his orgasm. The white sticky fluid squirting out, wetting his abdomen, his thighs and some getting on your thighs. You took your hand off him licking the fluid-covered hand with your set of lustful eyes fixed on him.

As soon as the naughty kitty has had his release, his brattyness quickly came back to life. “Ugh.. changed my ass. I was just effected because it’s my first time trying them..” he swiftly found an excuse to defend himself, his legs still shaking and body limp; still not recovered properly from the orgasm earlier. “Oh really~? Well I guess now that your little first time is over… you can handle more, can’t you?” His eyes widen in shock as the brattyness seemed to have been kicked out of him but before he could make a snarky remark, he felt a strong aggressive pressure on the vibrating dildo snucked in his clenched hole; his eyes were so close to rolling to the back of his head as he let out a loud gasp followed by breathy pants. “F-fuck.. stop that..” “Hm~? Why kitty~? Got your own tongue now~?” a dramatic pause in between the ruffling sounds of you moving around behind him and his breathy desperate little pants filled the room. “Don’t forget who has the vibrator controller, connected straight to the one snuck in that tight hole of yours right now…~” a moan left his lips as you tugged on his hair harshly pulling it back.

“ngh~.. hurts..” you thought he was whining about the harsh tug on his hair until you looked down to see his half-hard cock. “Well bratty kitty~ how about we play a game of penalty since you can handle all this so well now~?” He shaked his head with a pouty face; that didn’t stop you from pushing the vibrator deeper into him earning a loud mewl from him, leaving him panting and drooling on the couch. You tapped on his cheeks drawing his attention back towards you – “Now now kitty~ you can’t break yet..” You turned up the vibrations of both vibrators. The tears threatening to fall from the corner of the boy’s eyes started raining down, the room being filled with loud mewls and moans; so loud that you were convinced you both were getting a noise complaint after this.

You circled your slim fingers around the plastic piece in his hold. The crying kitty turned around to look back at you with pitiful teary eyes expecting you were gonna take it out; instead you shoved your fingers from the small sneaky space that you could get from the stretched now-filled hole. “Fuck.. you’re so tight baby..” and that was it. The boy screamed out loud feeling the knot in his stomach snap as he came again squirting all over the couch. “Fuck… so much..” you didn’t hear any whining or reply from the boy; you moved away the sweaty bangs on his forehead sticking onto his forehead – he’s passed out. Oh welp it was quite reasonable considering today’s activity. You let out a chuckle and moved him over a bit, covering him with a thin shirt and headed to the bathroom to grab some towels.

[hatchan]

Memories of being 11 in 2007

becoming grotesquely self-aware of my physical body

acne started and I didn't understand it

pretty much from day 1, pimple 1, I was popping them to just get rid of it, get it out get it out get it out. I'd wash my face with water afterwards but it took me a while to realize that that didn't make my face perfectly clear again. in fact that was probably making it all worse and I'm still a compulsive popper at 30! lol! lmao! lmfao!!!!!!!

hair started growing places and it felt weird and gross and I felt always weird and gross

and wow now I'm bleeding from my nether regions. this is horrible and weird and gross and I just have to DEAL WITH IT???????? started like a week after I turned 11 too

my 11th birthday was at a stable. my parents arranged for my friends and I to ride and hang out with horses and have some pizza and cake. it was fucking awesome. I love horses. that birthday party was probably the highlight of the year for me lmfao being 11 is a difficult ass year

had braces put on me. that shit HURT

went 24+ hours without consuming food upon getting braces. mouth hurty too much, I remember the pain of trying to crunch a potato chip. big fat NOPE

I was angsty as HELL but also, looking back, justified as hell

to try to make myself feel better about how I looked, you know, because the braces and pimples are plummetting my self-esteem and I've become aware of the fact that I exist to other people very recently, I opted to get my hair cut short. MISTAKE MISTAKE MISTAKE EVEN WORSE

it was fun getting to choose different colors for my braces every month. it was my way of "making the best of it" and getting some choice in the whole thing. I don't remember being asked if I wanted braces (its possible I was asked, but I don't remember). I remember it being a "Ya you need braces, here's how its gonna work, let's go" kind of vibe

the KFC popcorn chicken/mashed potato bowlwas my special treat for after appointments. before I stopped eating meat when I turned 12

I noticed that distressed jeans were becoming popular, so I took a pair of scissors to one of my existing jeans. I was gonna get on the trend with holes in my jeans, see. snip-snapped a bunch of holes in my jeans, see. random holes everywhere, see. like on the hips and legs and knees and everywhere, see. I think that's when I mom knew she was in trouble

oh man. I was horrible to my parents.

I was so mad at myself and my circumstances and my unwanted changes and the more awareness I was getting of the world made the world seem like a more-bad-than-good place, and I took it out on my parents a lot.

I found a card in a stationary store that says "I'm sorry for what I said when I was a teenager" and I need to send that to every relative I have

but being 11 is also when I watched anime for the first time. that is, I was on a flight (red eye, overnight) and couldn't sleep so I was flipping through the tv channels on the airplane seat. it was midnight or so EST, but why was there a cartoon playing? I always loved cartoons/animations, so I was down to watch it, but the first thirty seconds of it the dialogue was something like "He's going to kill me.... I'm loosing so.... much... blood!" and it was a fight scene and so MY fight or flight, sheltered child instinct kicked in and I went OH NO THIS IS A GROWNUP CARTOON I SHOULDN'T BE WATCHING THIS ITS VIOLENT AND RATED R!!!!!

it was Fullmetal Alchemist. Edward Elric was fighting the suit of armor that is the Slicer brothers in one body.

later that year, I was similarly flipping through the channels, landed on a scene from Inuyasha (of people talking), but the channel name on the bottom was Adult Swim so I again went OH NOO I CANT SEE THIS IM NOT AN ADULT

I was totally cool with reading about violent acts, that's when I first got into mystery thrillers and serial killer biographies.

my parents started getting grey hair that year.

[throwaway-yandere]

With Valentine’s approaching, I figured I’d shoot my shot before the blog revamp :’3

Good afternoon, Archbishop Theophilus!! Since you took the time to inquire about my personal style, it’s only polite that I ask you a similar question \(//∇//)\

Aside from fur cloaks, do you have any other fashion preferences?? I assume you have an affinity for accessories, given your earring and hair ornaments. Ohh and I can only imagine how elegant your horns would look with jewelry—not that they aren’t already striking on their own. (Do correct me if dragons such as yourself are against decorating their horns.)

I’ll leave it at that. I’m afraid that if I go into more detail about your beauty, I’d take up too many of your precious hours. Have a nice day, Archbishop ^o^

P.S. Hiiii Ansy, I hope you’re doing well!! I’ve said this before but Theophilus is srsly so pretty. And a dragon + archbishop combo……it feels rather oxymoronic(??), which makes his concept all the more interesting. I can’t wait for his fic >:3

P.P.S. GOODBYE I JUST LEARNED THAT DUKE DILUC IS IN THE LEAD?? And I’d just typed a paragraph joking about how Theophilus and Sunday (the previous lead) both have Biblical references *sobs* I’ll miss our archbishop……

"There... I must say, dear, it looks wonderful on you— though perhaps a size too large— but it adds to the charm!" The archbishop spoke. Although his voice is as soft as ever, no one can miss the way his voice chirps like an excited fledgeling. "You are a beautiful human, Jessamine. My ornaments look far more dashing when you are the one to wear them."

He chuckled softly as he patted your head.

"You can keep what you're wearing, I have spares." Theophilus said before you caught a glimpse of a teasing smirk in his face that disappeared quickly. "I'm aware the flower may not be as valuable for the merchants, but the cloak should fetch a large sum of gold."

"After all, most of what I wear are prepared by the Royal Family. All except the flower and earring. I enjoy any reminders that the small things in life— in nature— are worth thousand years of living for. Before I was hailed as the archbishop, I donned enormous flower crowns often. A shame it's not appropriate for my station."

The Archbishop closed his eyes and pondered about your next inquiry.

"My kind... Hmm..." He mumbled softly. "I wouldn't know. I am the last living Earth dragon left, but if my predecessors and I are similar, I think we wouldn't mind extra decor. That is, of course, if it is a gift bestowed by our beloveds...."

"Oh, leaving so soon?" Theophilus frowned. "Oh, that's alright. Do not fret, I understand. May the God Eusebius walk alongside you."

Okay it's ansy now, I hope you're doing well too and omg I'm rereading your HVOY reblog for a while now fuskkfkakskw. Theo is such a good boy I feel bad for the pain I'm putting him that I nearly forgot how much worse it is that he's a "dragon" archbishop ngl hAHAHAH—

ALSO SIKDKAKA I HAVE NO CLUE WHO'S WINNING THE THEME, I JUST HEARD THE RANKINH WAS SUNDAY FIRST, THEN RATIO THEN NEUVILLETTE??? AND NOW ITS DILUC???? LAST TIME I HEARD DILUC WAS LAST PLACE WITH NO VOTES TF HAPPENED HAHAJAHAJAHAH WHO STARTED A PROPAGANDA HUH?????? WHICH ONE OF YALL WAS IT LMAO—

Naur cuz me too 😭😭😭 i was gonna make a Theo passing his job to Sunday joke drawing too about how they're besties cuz I thought Sunday was on the lead. I am definitely not expecting Diluc. Duke Diluc I know you are self-aware and know the world is a lie but please don't hurt Theo he never did anything wrong ever

[taegularities]

i am guilty of not remembering muchhh bc of my short term memory 🤓🤠 so i skimmed the previous chapter and was refreshed hehe ANYWAYS wow it really has been a while since the last chapter but while reading blooming and starting palette,,, i felt this sense of familiarity with them and it's hard to describe but it's so good!!! It's like fav dramas/series/books that even when you forgot some details or a lot 😅 u have this instant bond/happiness and u still have these amazing feelings for the characters and the story!!! I'm not sure if ur getting me Rid aha it's the yapper in me but i guess the tldr is that i felt that "WE ARE SOOOO BACK MY BESTIES" like i REALLY felt it lol. And i was really happy to read cmi again ❤️‍🩹

While I do agree with others that this is also my new favorite chapter,,,,, I think that's also not true for me??? bc every chapter is my fav!!! It's really really really literally the whole story since then and everything u write is a favorite 💜

Aside from all the fluff that i loveeee, so much love for this chapter which included their friends and in a trip setting bc it's so wholesome and in relationships esp if ur the type to always go out with friends, it's fun to see everyone getting together 🫶🏼

Nowww some of my fave lines:

His attention is directed towards Jimin, the main organiser of your trip; everybody’s been posing questions today as if he’s studied the town and journey to the tiniest detail. Jimin rubs a palm over his tired eyes, sighing before he speaks. this is so funny bc MOOD

HEAVY AFFECTION!!!!

“People climb mountains, watch the world from above, need to see forests to figure out how good life can be. And that it can be worth living,” he says, his voice velvety soft. “But I feel that way with you every day, you know? I do… I do love you so much.” 🥲🥲🥲

“Huh?” he breathes out, moving to look up at you. His eyebrows still suggest slight pain, but there’s something so loving in his worn voice when he says, “You want kids with m—” I LOVE HIM PLSSSSS

And a lot more but those are what I instantly copy pasted lol. Also the "fight" at the end starting with jimin was so chaotic and funny to me lmao. It was all just so real + with oc and jk sorting it out in the middle of the road lol.

Anywaysss wow i think it took me 2 hours + to read and im not complaining bc i had fun savoring every word. I think i always say this but i (and i know the others too) am really thankful that you're here and continuing to share your ideas and writing with us 🫶🏼 the writing is always topnotch, its crazyyyy, good crazy 😇 and ig in behalf of us who aren't always here and even from the silent readers, thank you!! You'll always have our heart and support. I hope that during times that it gets quiet here (and i hope it wont) you remember that there's a lot of us who adore you 🫂

kAT 🫂 it's okay lmao even i forgot a lot and had to reread 😭 there's just a lot of info in those 370k words. and yeah, i totally get that… time may pass, but once we return to the fictional world we love, it feels like coming home. i was so relieved, too, once i dove into cmi again 🥺 and pls yap away, i vibe so much with yappers 😂

yes, ikr!!! i was so damn excited to write this chapter bc of the new dynamics and deeper friendships. this trip really brought them a lot closer. and babe, your favourite lines plsss 🥹 the mountain one has my heart… i think i wrote it literally months and months and MONTHS ago :') and i see, the kids one is really affecting people 😂 the fight was skfajksdf she was just so tired and it affected her mood and then jimin's just an idiot, too lmao 😂 ty for literally copy pasting lines??? this is always so flattering to a writer 😭

2 hours is still pretty fast, tbh!! it took me days to edit the chapter, so hahaha :') thank you so so much for providing me with this much love and warmth, kat. i appreciate your words to bits, like :( the last paragraph, i'm gonna sob 🥹 i adore you sm, too, ty for always being here, love 🤍

[dudewithastick]

sneaky peek at my current wip (also the first wip i had in months) and some thots on it. i need to rant (complain) so bear with me

so far its going pretty good, it doesn’t look bad and thats cool bcs i defs wouldve given up if it did look bad at this point.

obviously this is some kind of realism style and its okay, its not the best, idc. what sucks is that i dont even want this style but its the only one i can do. like i wanna do cartoons and other artsy stuff with clear lines or just sketching. stuff i see online, but i CANNOT do it, no matter how hard i try. i will always do some realistic shadowing and then its over bcs the composition isnt right for me anymore. and i hate it bcs not only would my life be so much easier if i wouldnt fall into this kind of ‘realistic’ style, which is straight up a pain, id be so much more productive as well. but i’m some weird perfectionist dumbass (blame it on my virgo rising or whatever) so shading and tiny details it is.

speaking of details, i love that i accidentally built this wip on my sketch file, which was not nearly a good enough format and now the quality SUCKS ASS but thats nothing new to me so i’m just gonna accept that every detail i draw is like 5 pixels only and you can barely see them.

another thing i suck at is color theory. and when i started this project (yesterday) i was set on doing only b&w. literally 3 seconds in i used colors and i regretted it immediately bcs it looked good which meant i had to continue bcs we dont do half assed shit… so now i committed to color and i don’t understand color theory. like i can see it working but it doesn’t make sense and all i do is experiment bcs i see no sense or pattern (now i question my tiktok diagnosis of autism, neurodivergence and adhd)

at this point i have also given up at originality. im just copying my references picture, which is fine bcs i will never be able to draw a whole ass person, and i would defs not be satisfied if i wouldn’t add details. so now im stuck at drawing a whole military outfit and my reference picture is also only 9 pixels so i cant even make out what im drawing. i’m just guessing at this point.

okay for now the last part of my complaining… @blnk338 why did u choose such a unique mask for reaper? the way i struggled with the concept and its still not perfect but i dont wanna get hung up on it so i’m moving all over the place and going back to the mask every other minute… pretty sure the mask design alone took me 2 hours to put together so it made sense to my brain and then another 3 to design to my liking lmao

anyway this is a snippet of my current take on reaper from rwys, which so far is only the body but there will probs be eyes at some point, if i dont give up. first time in months, almost years of drawing something, so i guess big thanks to blink for giving me the motivation and a character to work on for fun. hopefully i can give an update on progress soon lol

[malevolententity]

hello season 2 i am in Pain

project 4

to start this off. you all must know that i loath granny squares. i think theyre Fine to make as a boredom time killer! theyre fairly easy to work up! but making Pieces. Making Whole Ass Projects Out Of Squares? killing myself. killing god even. killing every pattern maker and every urge in me to Make the thing.

i hate this bag with a passion. i like it because the mushrooms are cute! its made entirely of scrap yarn that couldnt be used in other projects but a granny square project was perfect! the entire point of this bag is to put in every piece i make, that i keep, while watching ordem into this! it shall serve its purpose well. but i hate it. i hate this thing so much.

this wretched thing took about 14 hours? i started it 2 hours into season 2. i finished this bag with about 10 minutes to spare on episode 4. this is a 14 hour bag and i hate my life with a passion but its okay because i made something to hold things i like more LMAO.

i am though very proud of it working out colorwise as well as it did since its made of all scrap yarn. the handle doesnt work as Well as i was hoping but i think it still pulls all the blues nicely for the most part. and again its just a think to hold projects for the moment unless i end up gifting it. for not proper planning i Do like it even if i kinda hate it xD

season thoughts so far

dude luis can not catch a break like i Know both deaths of his so far have been purposeful by his own hand. but like what the fuck dude, he can not have a character that lives to see episode 4 huh. i like the big weird spider ngl i hope we get a fucked up brocket or a fucked up bear with whatever the fuck is going on in the forest. m kinda neutral on arthur right now but i know he'll grow on me as we get more episodes in, god m gonna miss cris and esp what growth we coulda had between cris and cesar but i know its probably gonna kick off a wonderful cesar arc. assuming he survives to see said arc.

still big fan of joui, in love with the entire conversation between joui and liz surrounding The Stairs Incident hes soooooo. that fucking conversation took me out. i cant wait to see what happens next and who the next casualty is because i knew getting into it, but esp now that this is a no holds series, you will just die and have to learn how to keep going. since i dont check the wiki m really interested to see if luis comes back in the next? 12 episodes i think are left? with a new character or if hes just gone from the season and i gotta wait for season 3 to see him again.

and sadly :( i can not watch anymore ordem for the next little bit even tho i have a project and yarn all picked out because i hurt my wrist yesterday while crocheting and did the Silly of finishing this piece today even with slight pain. so m gonna be kind to myself a rest a few days even tho i reaaaally wanna see whats in this fucked up bone house???? human skull effigy house its Gotta be something interesting. but until then. i shall simply enjoy normal streams and learning more portuguese

[bunnyb34r]

Well work was... interesting

Had to redo all of my signs but 2 (I have 16 sign holders (used to be 18 😑) anyway they want ONE ITEM per sign. On average I have 30 items. Not gonna happen. Especially since we were told today we are NOT allowed to pull merchandise unless it says liquidate. Literally the day before we were told to PULL IF ITS UNDER 40 GET THIS DONE!

Anyway they want the signs TYPED if they're more than one item. It takes ~5 min per sign (not including the time it takes to walk upstairs and log in ect)

I must have been upstairs for an HOUR at least it was insane but I took my time bc fuck em

Apparently no one but me even types them so now no one remembers HOW to do them and im like sucks to suck don't it? We were told how nearly 9 months ago. It's also like so self explanatory and easy but no one wants to do it

Anyway so they need a header to say what area the sign is and it has to fit on the sign (we cannot change the type size) so I always put "Children's Apparel" as mine. Whoever did the clearance table used all caps and put like "CLEARANCE ITE" Bc the "items" got cut off lmao like just put Clearance or Marked Down

And the reason for the fire being under BaldBastards ass, taking my sign holders away, scrutinizing the layout. The Upper Management lady is supposed to show up today. That bitch hasn't shown up ONCE since I started lmao so I no longer jump when they ask

Anyway by the time I got back to my area I was told to go fix the jeans bc theyre slanted and I know how to fix that (again it's not hard. We weren't shown how months ago. Everyone decided it was a pain in the ass and just didn't do it but me.) And then I had to explain that yeah you guys did read the layout wrong :) apparently [relative coworker] and I are the only fucking people who know how to read them AND ITS NOT HARD

I mean NewLady knows how to do it in terms of what items go where but she doesnt get that the bars have to line up specifically to how they are on the layout and it's so annoying like customers don't see this shit they're not gonna go to another Store and be like hmmm the other location has their bar lower than this... hmmmmmmmm

And ofc the lady team lead who did the layout did the whole thing wrong so we had to fix everything (:

But I'm off tomorrow so idgaf if she shows up or not lmao not my problem.

[parageist]

im just gonna answer all 50 things and then anyone who wants to comment on my responses can lol

1. so many honestly. im hyperfixated on rain world rn though so probably al the scavengers, slugcats, and iterators xD

2. lighters are so satisfying to use, and don’t create a bunch of waste. plus matches always make me a bit scared that they’ll break or burn me and they just seem so inconsistent. but when you get a match to light, it’s a whole different magical experience. i feel like some post-apocalyptic bunker-dweller lighting my oil lantern to go scavenge through some abandoned train tunnels for supplies. very fun

3. as long as it isn’t too cold, stormy, or there’s wildfire smoke outside, then yeah. some bugs do manage to get in though :/

4. some sort of undefined ghostly entity or energy force that manifests itself into multiple different beings, explaining why encounters with cryptids are always so inconsistent and all over the place

5. dark brown

6. do what? You’re mother?😈

7. hair ties but sometimes they get tangled and i get freaked out

8. i think there’s like one or two somewhere in the corner or in my closet

9. i hate coffee, it tastes vile. i love hot chocolate though, but normally i just drink a protein shake or some soda each morning to get my energy boost. i should try tea more often though

10. mhm :3

11. i wanna start a dnd group but im so overwhelmed and bad at scheduling things ;-; it’s been way too long since i last played

12. like in terms of the weather? it’s overcast and drizzly, like most days from october-march here in the PNW

13. this morning

14. yes please!! fun fact that smell is called petrichor (meaning “rock blood”) and is caused by an organic compound called geosmin. both of those words are really cool sounding imo. bouta make an oc named Petrichor Geosmin

15. i have created several eldritch homunculi chained up in my basement🙂

16. anyone can drive, but not everyone can do it as unsafe and illegally as i can ���

17. nearsighted i think? up close things appear normal with or without my glasses, but far away things are significantly blurrier without them

18. color-safe shampoo and conditioner. that’s it. lmao

19. if you wanted that :)

20. SODAAAAA!!!💥💥🔥💯

21. so many trinkets that half of my closet is full of them

22. peculiar

23. as long as i have warm clothing or someone to cuddle with then it’s cool

24. chillin, maybe a bit of weedery. either that or a dramatic anime battle where i keep making jojo references

25. both because i’m Normal (OCD) about how i smell to others!🙂

26. there’s so many it hurts to think

27. 6 ish

28. with a smile for hours at a time. jk lmao. if i’m sick, around sick people, at a medical place, or someone asks me to then sure, but otherwise i don’t like the sensation of masks and they fog up my glasses

29. as warm as possible before i meet my pain threshold

30. im eating my plate of dinner right now and there’s a few mugs

31. so fuckin many but im really into mashup week megamix rn. something about all the synchronized beats and tracks and references make my dissociated mess of a brain reassemble some gears

32. no but i hate the towels that like leave bits of fuzz on your skin. fowl

33. some japanese gardens in the city. the whole atmosphere was ruined by a bunch of lawnmowers and wasp nests though :/

34. revenge a minecraft parody by captainsparklez and tryhardninja. and a bunch of other songs

35. pst. it’s currently 501pm rn

36. one

37. nobody 🥲

38. i only use liquid soap

39. sometimes but i should more given how much i bite my lips. completely unrelated but one time i took a huge chomp out of a stick of deodorant for no discernible reason :3

40. i had a brotein par

41. in a hearse. To its grave.

42. discord

43. good but i’m white so i can’t take much

44. trump? putin? jeff bezos? elon musk? idk even if i did kill one of them, it’s not gonna solve much. the system is rotten to its core, evil figureheads just give us someone to point all the blame to

45. uhhhhh i played rainworld instead of going to school, worked on my halloween costume, then played more rain world, finished saint again and almost cried, then i sorted my stickers and made poor life decisions with my sleep schedule :)

46. christmas vacation i guess? idk they all kinda blend together

47. “just really tired (sob puddle emoji)”

48. fourteen. and no that is not something to brag about. i was and still am a very stupid kid

49. i did it once but idk how

50. yes please!! :33

here’s weirder asks

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

lighter or matches?

do you leave the window open at night?

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

what color are your eyes?

why did you do that?

hair-ties or scrunchies?

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

would you slaughter the rich?

favorite extracurricular activity?

what kind of day is it?

when was the last time you ate?

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

can you drive?

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

what hair products do you use?

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

do you say soda or pop?

something you’ve kept since childhood?

what type of person are you?

how do you feel about chilly weather?

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

perfume/body spray or lotion?

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

do you wear a mask?

how do you like your shower water?

is there dishes in your room?

what type of music keeps you grounded?

do you have a favorite towel?

the last adventure you’ve been on?

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

what’s your timezone?

how many times have you changed your url?

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

a soap bar that smells good?

do you use lip balm?

did you have any snacks today?

how do you take your coffee?

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

what’s your take on spicy foods?

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

can you remember what happened yesterday?

favorite holiday film?

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

can you skip rocks?

can i tag you in random stuff?

[spark1edog]

i’m irritable today :( i noticed at work (15 minutes before the end of my shift) when making a chococat for a group of friends who decided to take turns stepping on the pedal and felt very like. 😤🙄 bc they each stepped on it like just a tiny bit until the last guy who just held it until it was done (thank fucking god i was getting annoyed bc each of them only held it for like 2 seconds and took like twice as long to switch off) i managed to be normal about it but god there was a small child waiting in line and like crying off and on, the family was like crowding the stuffer too like i thought they were trying to cut in line but they didn’t it was just really stressful for some reason.

i keep saying edibles literally don’t do anything for me but i think they give me a veeeeery slight buffer between me and being irritable asf. so that’s not nothing ig. my therapist suggested a tincture might work differently, since sublingual ingestion is like a slightly different thing from going thru the digestive tract, so i’m gonna try that.

also this fucking painting is giving me SUCH A HARD TIME. i did the first one (left) first and it was great very smooth and came out perfect and took like 2 hours. the mf on the right tho. ohhhhh my fucking god bro this was the second attempt, cuz believe it or not it looked worse bc i lined with a different pen than the first one so i painted over it and just tried again but. honestly i still dont like it 😭 like its fine but it just turned out weird and i was in This Headspace while making it so it just kept making me more upset as i was going.

like its fine. it’ll do. i’m sure asf not redoing it again it’s going on the table just as is and if someone buys it, great, and if they don’t, i wouldn’t either lmao. like it’s not even that bad but it was just such a pain and my hands were shaky and the blush is muddy and the lines don’t look as good and the eyes are a different size and his forehead is huge but it’s FINE ITS FINE IT LOOKS FINE no one will notice this but me. hopefully. i’m not gonna touch it again clearly it’s cursed.

but in any case. clearly i’m going thru it a little. but it’s getting easier not vaping, and im not missing smoking thaaaaat much (that’s a lie i miss it a lot im gonna smoke the fattest bowl as soon as i can safely smoke again 😫)

flights are booked. my pre op appointment is on wednesday. art show is sunday. i’m going to be okay. things will be easier someday. i’m working towards something that means a lot to me. it will all be worth it. i’m going to be okay. but for now im a little irritable. and that’s also ok

[leejenowrld]

i feel the same as you kinda, jeno really has me on a chokehold and i cant read any fics for other members 😭😭 i stalk #jeno tag weekly on tumblr in hopes of finding new things written for him but i always feel weird to request for jeno fics to the writers here idk why so i rely on the other jeno stans tysm to them 🫶

btw u live in london too?? thats awesome!! it definitely is so expensive 😭 everything is definitely going downhill here lmao

are u planning on going to the tds show here? i really want to go, but my mum wouldnt let me since its like 1 hour away from home and shes strict with that even tho im 20 :/ genuinely pains me that i cant see them when theyll be so close, but hopefully theyll do many many tds in the future so i can go to them when im finally independent!!!

ps. take however long as you need to, but i really hope you continue writing. your fics are so amazing i dont even have words to explain how much i love them. also also a selfish part of me wishes u switch the mark friends to lovers to jeno too loool but anyways enjoy your day!!!

honestly i spend hours in the jeno tags, whether it’s on here, on tiktok, on twitter… i just love him. i’m not gonna lie, there isn’t a lot of good jeno fics on here, i feel like i have a really particular taste and nothing i’ve found has me hooked. do you have any good jeno fic recs? be sure to send them over! but yeah, the stuff i’ve written for jeno aligns to my tastes, like perfectly. it’s what i want to read so i wrote it lmao but the thing is i can’t enjoy it like readers do :( as i’ve written it so i know what happens and it’s just not as fun for me as it would be for you guys reading it as it’s all so new to you. it’s like when you’ve spent so long cooking, the meal isn’t as satisfying, it’s more satisfying to just have the food ready in front of you LMAO that’s kinda what the jeno fics are to me. sometimes i wish i could read them as if i was the reader not the writer, but it’s all good <3 i am happy that everyone loves them so much and it’s gotten a lot of praise and recognition!!

yeah i do! and don’t even get me started lmao. and yeah! my bf took me to the last show that the dreamies did here and i think we’re gonna go again :) lol i’m not sure for certain cus he always surprises me, i’m actually gonna go to the one in paris! the thing is he hasn’t told me yet, but he made sure i had annual leave booked for the days we’ll be in paris and one of those dates is the dreamies show so!!! yay

awww honestly just really convince your mum, take her out to a nice lunch and just be really pleading and say that you’ll take her with you!! you wanna go right? so would you be up for taking your mum? i feel like that’s a good solution cus you’ll treat her and she won’t be worried about your safety as you’re together.

thank you <3 what fics do you like from me and why? 🫶 i will continue writing, i’m just doing my best tbh. and you know what… not a bad idea, a fic about childhood best friends to lovers jeno and yn, you haven’t been in contact for years but then you reunite at college against all odds. it’s a bit tense, awkward but a lot of sexual tension too and jeno is mad but he’s trying to hide it. maybe he has a girlfriend now? maybe you’ve been in love with him since you were younger? idk it’s a rough idea but this is the kinda vibe i’d do. the mc would have to be very shy and reserved and jeno would be the opposite, it’s the way i like it :)