#this took me like an hour lmao and its gonna be such a pain to edit as i post more | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ghost-1-y · 1 year

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trust me - sanemi shinazugawa

Pairing: sanemi x afab!tsuguko!reader

!!PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS BEFORE CONTINUING!!

TW: major character death (reader), no happy ending (hurt/no comfort), mentions & descriptions of gore & injury, brief thoughts of self-harm (Sanemi - briefly mentioned, doesn’t actually happen), consensual sex (Sanemi and reader are 18+), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, handjob, oral (m! and f! receiving), creampie, Sanemi is pussy drunk in this lmao; spanking (happens once), slight manhandling, praise kink, spitting kink(?) (Sanemi spits in readers mouth), (very) slight olfactophilia, brief mention of vomit (again, doesn’t actually happen), mention of scars (Sanemi and reader) MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI - I WILL BLOCK YOU

CW: fluff; general angst; arguments between Sanemi and reader; Sanemi is a bit of a meanie at times :/ (aka Sanemi being Sanemi); mentions of food/eating; descriptions of wound care; love confessions; Sanemi uses the following pet names for reader: “baby”, “pretty”, “beautiful”, and “sweetheart”

Word Count: ~6.2k

A/N: this is my first fic, so I hope that y’all enjoy it! I’m not gonna lie I was superrr nervous to post this lol so please be nice🥲🥲 I’ll probably do a fluffy comfort fic for Sanemi after this to make up for the pain lol; also wanted to let y’all know that this was half-inspired by the song “Fragile” by Laufey, so go give that a listen if you’d like!

Quiet.

As the dewy drops of the morning mist came into contact with his bare hands, Sanemi noted the silence of the sunrise – one would believe that its light denoted respite, a time of peace – something beautiful to behold as its rays began to gently sweep across the grassy field. He could not yet hear the calls of the mourning dove, for it was too early for the birds to grace anyone’s ears with their softening sounds.

However, as Sanemi continued his way through the tall blades, his hands wet with the remnants of night, respite gave way to apprehension, and the misty air was filled with a sense of malaise.

For the mist that lowly hovered above the grass was red.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

One year ago.

“You can’t expect me to treat you differently from them.” Sanemi pointed his blade to the lower-ranked slayers on the sidelines of the training grounds, those who hadn’t passed out yet being completely keeled over or having nearly drowned themselves in water to stave off the summer heat. “If you want to handle stronger opponents, I need to ensure that you are trained well enough to do so.”

Having been at the point of near-exhaustion herself, Y/N could barely muster a reply. “I know, Shinazugawa-san,” she panted while looking up at him from her not-so-flattering position on the ground. “Why else do you think I’m here? ‘s not like I enjoy being trained half-to-death,” she replied sarcastically.

Sanemi’s glare met her. “You should consider yourself lucky that I was gracious enough to let you train under me. At the rate you’re going, I’d half expect you to move down a rank, rather than up one.” He walked towards her and, despite his cold nature, offered Y/N his scarred hand. “Get up. I’m not lettin’ you go until you can knock me down to my knees.”

A challenge she knew to be nearly impossible with the skill level she was currently at, Y/N wondered if her rank of Hinoto meant anything against the Wind Pillar himself. She took his roughened hand in hers and stood up, and, after a poor attempt at dusting the dirt off of her uniform, steeled herself once more for the upcoming attack from the man glaring across from her.

Sanemi tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword and started lunging toward her.

–––––

Y/N continued to train under Sanemi’s watch, each day somehow more grueling than the last. She woke up at the god-awful hours of the morning and trained until midnight. This repeated day in and day out for weeks, with seemingly nothing to show for it except a bunch of creative insults that she’d managed to add to her arsenal after receiving them from Sanemi himself.

“You’re not using your sword correctly,” he pointed out. It was always something, she thought – her stance was wrong, her breathing wasn’t efficient enough, and now she apparently couldn’t even hold her sword correctly.

By the time she looked up at Sanemi, frustrated with her apparent inadequacies, he was no longer in front of her, having walked around so that her back faced him. He placed his hand on her forearm, “just– move your arms here…good, and your hands should be like this–” he spoke softly into her ear as he adjusted her grip to what he deemed satisfactory. Y/N was thankful that Sanemi stood behind her as she felt an intense warmth flood across her cheeks. By the time he was finished, Y/N noted the lightest blush on the tips of his ears as he returned to his original spot and took his own offensive stance, clearly not intending nor wanting to address the familiarity of his previous actions.

“Now you don’t have any excuses to have such a shitty attack pattern,” he quipped, before engaging her in battle once more.

As months passed, the Wind Pillar slowly transitioned from insults to providing Y/N with actual guidance, and she was slowly reminded of why exactly she requested to become his Tsuguko in the first place. One day, while she was taking her thirty-minute lunch break at the wooden chabudai inside of the Wind Pillar’s estate, Sanemi sat next to her and started to eat his own meal. He refused to look at her, but the words he uttered from his mouth sent relief through her veins.

“You’ve gotten stronger.”

Unsure of how to respond, as compliments were rare coming from the usually rather hostile Pillar, Y/N simply nodded and whispered a “thank you,” continuing to pick at her food. Eventually, she looked over at him and noticed that he was frowning at the wooden chabudai before him, an internal conflict seemingly battling out in his mind.

“I have a mission I’ve been assigned to, I’d like you to come with me.”

His words were quiet, almost hesitant.

“You want me to assist you?” she asked, mainly because she didn’t believe Sanemi had trusted her enough to bring her on a mission assigned to a Hashira, much less himself.

Sanemi nodded in response. “Lower-ranked slayers have been going missing in one of the nearby mountains,” he sighed. “If it were up to me, I wouldn’t have named them slayers in the first place if they’re stupid enough to get caught by some demon.” He paused, and then finally looked at her. “I think that you’re capable enough to help me should things get out of hand,” he added quietly.

A sense of warmth flooded through her, and she smiled at him, grateful that he had finally acknowledged the hard work she’d put into all of her training. “Thank you, Shinazugawa-san. I promise that I will do my best.”

Sanemi thought to himself that he would like to see more of that smile.

“Don’t think that just ‘cause I’ve seen you improve that it means I’m gonna let you take it easy from here on out,” he said as he stood up. “Also, if you get into trouble on this mission, I want you to call for me immediately. Don’t get yourself into some shit you can’t handle,” he added, and his gaze upon her suddenly hardened as the words left his mouth. “Let me deal with it if things get too difficult.”

With that, he left to head back towards the training grounds.

–––––

That night, Y/N followed closely behind as Sanemi hiked up the mountain, with the bitter cold becoming more apparent as patches of snow were slowly augmented by the tiny flakes falling around them. Every once in a while, they’d find some blood splatter or human entrails, with such carnage becoming more frequent as they continued their trek.

Eventually, Sanemi stopped – Y/N had learned to trust his instinct when he sensed that something was off. Sanemi brushed his hand over the hilt of his sword and gripped it tightly, his muscles tensing with anticipation, which caused Y/N to echo his actions and grab her own sword, holding it so that she was prepared for any possible enemy attack.

Or so she thought.

A blast of icy wind came from her right, forcing Y/N to close her eyes lest her corneas were to freeze from the frigid temperature. Sanemi, however, immediately chased after the source – his speed something frightening to behold. After a futile attempt to follow him, Y/N found herself swarmed by fifteen demons, all of whom were nearly identical to each other, as they all possessed the same pale blue skin and white hair. After a few attacks, Y/N also noted that their blood demon art was the same: one that would allow them to manipulate freezing winds and ice however they pleased.

Y/N was able to hear Sanemi in the distance, easily decapitating what seemed to be a larger swarm than what she was presently dealing with. Just how many of them are there? Y/N thought as she made her way through twelve of the demons, decapitating each one until an attack managed to hit her mid-air – causing a sharp ice fragment to deeply slice open her upper thigh. Gritting through the pain, she finished off the final three demons that she’d been fighting before slowly limping toward a nearby tree to assess the damage of her wound. It seemed as though Sanemi’s battle was also over, as Y/N could hear nothing but the howling of the mountainous winds as he walked back over to where they both had split up.

Once Sanemi caught sight of her, his shoulders seemed to relax. However, such relief was temporary once he eyed her bleeding thigh, and immediately began rushing over to her, pulling out some spare gauze that he had stored on his person and a wave of anger that she couldn’t describe filling the violet hues of his eyes.

“What did I fuckin’ tell you? To stay back and let me handle it, yet you’re so stupid that you can’t even obey direct orders,” Sanemi spat at her as he started bandaging the deep laceration on her thigh, taking careful consideration of the pressure and tightness of the gauze wrap he was using. Each time she winced, he would look up from her injury, and his violet eyes would meet hers. However, there was no malice of the words he spewed at her within his expanded pupils.

Y/N sharply inhaled before responding. “I’m sorry! But you’re the one who went on ahead and left me with them! I had to–”

“No. You didn’t have to, you fuckin’ dumbass. That’s where you’re wrong – you didn’t have to put yourself in danger just because I was off dealing with something else. Fuckin’ think next time and maybe I wouldn’t have to be cleaning you up like this,” he lightly choked on the last few words, yet continued wrapping up her wound, hands gentle and considerate of her pain. Y/N huffed at his impossible reasoning and looked down at him with a hardened stare.

He looked into her eyes once more, his grip on her uninjured leg tightening. “I don’t- I can’t fuckin’ lose someone else,” he stated, a rare glimpse of vulnerability from inside his tortured heart. At that, Y/N dropped her stare and hesitantly placed her hand upon his tensed one.

“I’m sorry, Shinazugawa-san, I promise that next time will be different. I’ll get stronger, so you won’t have to go to such lengths for me.” She gave him a reassuring smile, and his hand relaxed as he continued his work on her wounded leg. With the sun still rising over the horizon, she couldn’t make out the brimming of tears on his waterline before he blinked them away.

It was a side of Sanemi that Y/N hadn’t seen before – but before she could indulge herself to begin examining every crevice of emotion that the Wind Pillar had put on display for her, his attitude changed once again to one of apparent indifference.

“Don’t apologize – just listen to me next time,” he stated as he finished wrapping up her leg. Once a couple of hours passed and the Kakushi had arrived to clean up the aftermath, he stood up and grabbed Y/N’s arm to pull her up from her sitting position. Sanemi then took the same arm and put it around his shoulder, allowing her to use him as a crutch as they both walked to the wagon brought by one of the Kakushi in the aftermath of the battle.

The ride to the Butterfly Mansion was mostly quiet. Sanemi, despite not being injured himself, decided to stay with Y/N as she slept on the floor of the wagon. The cold of the early morning seemed to be permeating Y/N’s skin as she shivered in her sleep. Always aware of his surroundings, Sanemi looked at her with concern and took off his haori, feeling slightly flushed as he placed it on top of her as a makeshift blanket, blaming the warmth of his cheeks on the cold morning air. He sat down next to her, crossing his arms and closing his eyes to alleviate some of his own fatigue.

It didn’t help that in his dreams, his body was keeping her warm instead.

–––––

Once Y/N had woken up, she first noted the sanitary scent of the patient room assigned to her. Having awoken from the gentle knock on the door, she looked to see Aoi entering with some gauze and antibiotics.

Sanemi was nowhere in sight.

“I’m glad you’re awake. I’m here to perform some general wound care for you. I’ll be changing your dressings, alright?” Aoi looked at her, and once she received a nod from Y/N, she proceeded to unwrap the layers of gauze and started to inspect the wound.

“There is some slight inflammation,” she observed as she lightly pressed against the sides of the laceration with her gloved hands, which exhibited some redness and swelling. “I’m going to be prescribing you some antibiotics in order to prevent any potential infections.” She started applying some antibiotic ointment directly to the wound, and Y/N winced at the stinging pain that it caused. Once satisfied, Aoi carefully rewrapped the wound with a new set of gauze. “Your antibiotics will need to be taken orally with food and water once a day. Make sure you complete the entire course that I prescribe so that you don’t face any further complications down the line.”

All Y/N could do was nod silently, and once Aoi determined that she would follow directions, she left the room.

–––––

Despite wanting to thank him for helping her in the aftermath of the battle, Y/N had not seen Sanemi even once during her recovery process. She wondered if he had gone back to his estate, but it still struck her as odd that he didn’t at least come by to berate her for the lack of judgment she possessed in the midst of the fight.

Maybe he got it all out of his system when he was wrapping up my wound, she thought to herself.

During her stay as a patient, Aoi mentioned to Y/N that due to the cut slicing through the muscle of her leg, it could take weeks or even months to recover. Since Y/N had not yet mastered Total Concentration Breathing: Constant, Aoi explained that it may take longer to heal compared to if a Hashira had such an injury.

Y/N wondered if Sanemi no longer trusted her skills as a slayer.

She wondered if Sanemi ever had any trust in her at all.

The very thought caused bile to rise in her throat. She wanted him to be proud of her, to trust her – just as she did with him.

Y/N slowly got up from her bed and walked outside to sit on the engawa of the Butterfly Mansion. The moon’s rise was slow, and the soft chirp of crickets could be heard from the nearby trees. Once sat, she admired the garden owned by the Insect Pillar herself – with beautiful azaleas and hydrangea plants shaping pathways throughout the grounds. Y/N closed her eyes and basked in the moonlight rays that shone upon the estate – that is, until her ears heard the softest creak of wood coming from behind her.

“Shinazugawa-san?” She softly whispered once she turned to see who it was, as though the peace of the night would be disturbed should she speak any louder.

Sanemi said nothing, but then moved quietly to sit down next to her – if Y/N hadn’t known any better, she would’ve believed that he was solely there just to admire the moonlit garden as well. His eyes appeared a soft, yet dark hue of indigo in the cool moonlight – they bore none of the usual aggression that they carried when around others.

“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” Y/N asked him quietly, gaze fixed upon him, and he nodded.

“Would be prettier if it didn’t cause so much needless death.”

She couldn’t argue at all. He was right – and would be until demons had been eradicated off the face of the earth, but that didn’t stop her from wishing that things were different.

Sanemi sighed and finally looked at her, and his eyes screamed ‘loss’.

He was fragile. He wasn’t the roughened-up, aggressive, insolent slayer that others saw him as. Rather, it was his scars that held him together by threads, and it was his heart that silently called out to her – to “hold me, please.”

And so she did.

Y/N slowly slid her arms around him and had them reach up towards his nape. The sigh he emitted came from his chest, and Sanemi’s grip tightened around her as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. His eyes closed and brows furrowed, focused on nothing but the gentle touch of her skin against his. His mouth was slightly parted, lips pressed softly near her collarbone as he breathed against her.

His touch was warm.

She wished to feel more of it, to let it utterly consume her until all that she could feel was him.

Once he parted from her, Y/N looked into his eyes and felt the need to speak. “I- uh, I wanted to thank you for helping me with my wound after the battle,” she admitted softly. In response, his eyes hardened again and looked down at her bandaged leg.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied shortly before getting up. Soon after, Y/N found herself alone on the engawa once again, although the peaceful silence of the night had been replaced with a feeling of despondency that she couldn’t quite place.

–––––

By the time she recovered from her injury, it seemed as though Sanemi had done the impossible by making Y/N’s training even more difficult. Not a day went by when she wasn’t completely collapsed on the ground by sunset. It only took a few days before dark shadows under her eyes became visible, and her muscles ached.

Gone too was Sanemi’s softer side. Instead, it seemed as though their relationship was right back where it started, sans the fact that he seemed to slightly tense every single time he caught a glimpse of her scarred leg.

The sun had set, and Sanemi was yelling at Y/N to complete one more series of reps before retiring for the night. The problem, however, was that Y/N’s legs had become gelatinous and were shaking beyond her control, and despite all the willpower that she had sustained within her, it wasn’t enough to pick herself up off the ground.

“Are you really that fuckin’ weak that you can’t even stand up by yourself?” he spat. “You should’ve never become a slayer – this shit is too dangerous for people like you. All you will ever be is demon fodder. Fuckin’ give up and leave the corps if that’s how you’re going to treat the training I give you.” His insults were never-ending, and given how exhausted she was, it took everything within her to not cry at his words.

“I’m fucking trying, Shinazugawa-san!” she choked out. “What the hell did I do for you to treat me this way? Have I not done enough already?” With tears brimming in her eyes, she musters up the courage to ask the question she’s been wondering since that night on the battlefield.

“Do you not have any trust in me at all?” she cried.

Sanemi scoffed and glared at her. “You need to earn my trust, and until you’re able to complete the training I give you without collapsing to the ground like some low-ranked slayer, then you won’t have it.”

Y/N’s stomach dropped and she ignored the tightening sensation in her throat as she resolved to bite back at the cruel man before her.

“Bullshit,” she spat. “You thought I was capable enough to assist you on the last mission. Don’t lie by saying I’ve never earned your trust before.”

Sanemi rolled his eyes. “So what? Maybe I did trust you – before the mission. But you fucking broke it by getting hurt!” he seethed, eyes wide as he looked down at her.

“Maybe if you were capable enough to not get yourself wounded during the fight, then I might’ve still had some trust in you,” he admitted. “You think that I’m just gonna trust someone who gets their leg nearly sliced off to be able to handle themselves?”

“Is that what this is all about? ‘Cause I got some stupid cut on my leg? You can’t be serious–”

“Shut the fuck up. You know damn well it wasn’t just a cut. What if you had gotten slashed somewhere else? What if it had been more severe? What if you–” he didn’t wish to complete that sentence, lest he spoke the thought into existence.

It was the first time she’d seen Sanemi with tears in his eyes.

“It would’ve been my fault, Y/N! My fucking fault if something happened to you! I already told you, I can’t fucking lose someone else. I’ve already lost so many people, and I–” he watched as Y/N stood up, despite the obvious exhaustion in her legs, and walked towards him. “I can’t lose you, too,” he confessed, his voice softer than the wind that gently breezed through her hair. A tear had found its way down his cheek – just over the scar that was bestowed upon him by his own mother. As if by instinct, Y/N wiped it away with the pad of her thumb, but she did not part from his face. Instead, she proceeded to trace her thumb over the jagged scar, and he surprisingly leaned into the touch of her palm against his cheek, his eyes frantically searching her own. She smiled at him, and his breath caught in his throat.

“You have me, Sanemi.”

The groan that he voiced was soft, yet guttural – as though it came from deep within his chest, and he placed his hands on either side of her face, his eyes looking at her with utmost adoration and care, and his lips brushed softly against hers, and Y/N’s eyes were nearly sent reeling back before he closed the gap.

The pleasurable gasp that she emitted caused him to smile into the kiss, his lips slightly chapped, but gentle and loving with how they caressed hers, as though she would shatter under the slightest touch, or that she was a goddess and he a sinner seeking repentance by worshiping her.

“Fuck…wanted to do this for so long,” he breathed against her and his kisses became more needy – something fully welcomed by Y/N as she wrapped her arms around him and her fingers found purchase in his unruly hair. When he parted from her lips, a string of saliva connected his mouth to hers, which only broke as he went back to kiss her with his then swollen lips. He groaned once more before picking her up and carrying her over his shoulder, causing Y/N to yelp in surprise.

“Not letting you go anywhere, baby,” Sanemi grinned and smacked Y/N’s ass as he took her to his estate’s bedroom, which prompted her to roll her eyes at his antics. Yet, she couldn’t help but smile as he gently placed her on his futon and kissed her once more. “Can’t fuckin’ get enough of you, pretty,” he stated before moving down to her neck, where he licked and sucked until he found her pulse point, at which point Y/N moaned softly. “That’s right…feels good, doesn’t it?” he asked, knowing full well what her answer was even before she tried to nod her head.

“Sa- Sanemi…” she gasped, her hand cradling the back of his head as he left messy kisses up and down her neck.

“Sound so fuckin’ beautiful, keep saying my name like that, hm?” As he continued kissing her, his hands rose towards the top button of her uniform, a question of “Can I?” to which Y/N nodded. He unbuttoned her top, kissing down her chest and stomach until the clothing was fully removed. In return, Y/N helped remove the bindings that covered her breasts, letting them spill out in full view of Sanemi’s greedy irises. Sanemi wasted no time in latching his mouth to one of her tits, where he lavished her with his tongue whilst massaging and kneading the other with his roughened hand, rolling her nipple in between his fingers and playfully biting down on her breasts every so often solely to hear her whine.

“‘Nemi…need…need more please,” Y/N moaned and he chuckled. “Hm? What do you need, pretty?” Y/N only whined in response and he bit her breast again, causing her to jolt. “Need you to tell me what you want, beautiful,” he continued.

“Need your mouth…” she admitted, slightly embarrassed.

“Oh? Where do you need it?” he asked her before sucking her tit once more.

“Nngh… my– my pussy,” Y/N whined pathetically, to which Sanemi released his mouth from her breast with a lewd pop.

“Good girl,” he praised and started working towards her needy cunt, licking down her torso and leaving kisses and bites on her inner thighs. He took his time working towards her wet heat and ghosted his mouth over her panties, his hot breath permeating the cloth as she impatiently writhed underneath him. He selfishly inhaled her scent before pulling the garment to the side, and leaving a soft kiss against her core, leaving her to whimper when he pulled away to remove her panties, only for him to then lick a fat stripe up her slit. Sanemi moaned deeply and proceeded to pull Y/N towards him by her hips, ensuring that her sweetness was as close as possible to his greedy tongue.

“You taste so fucking good,” he groaned before proceeding to stuff his face full of her pussy once more. The tip of his nose nudged her swollen clit as he gathered her wetness into his mouth by licking into her tight hole and fucking her with his tongue, moaning against her pussy in the process. Y/N began bucking her hips in response, only for him to pin them down with one arm as he used his other hand to start fingering her after moving his mouth to suck on her clit. She moaned with abandon as he began curling his fingers inside of her heat, sucking voraciously on her swollen nub.

“F-Fuck, ‘Nemi! I- I’m gonna cum!” Y/N attempted to writhe underneath him, despite being held back by Sanemi’s arm pinning her down. Her admission only turned Sanemi more eager, causing him to rut against the mattress as he began quickening his fingers inside her and sucking harder on her clit. Y/N’s eyes rolled back and her mouth went agape, screaming and shaking uncontrollably as she came into his awaiting mouth. He licked up every drop that she gave him, using his fingers to coax more of her release onto his tongue, not wanting to waste any of her precious gift.

Y/N sat up and clambered onto him as soon as she came down from her orgasm, and kissed him deeply, tasting herself on his lips and tongue. “Wanna return the favor, ‘Nemi,” she whispered and he flushed red at the thought. “Yeah? Show me, pretty.” Standing up, he tilted her chin with one hand so that she was forced to look up at him from her knees. Using his other hand, he unbuckled his belt and removed it along with his hakama. His cock was thick, with pretty veins traveling all across it, making her nearly drool at the sight. Y/N brought one hand up and collected the precum from the tip of his cock with her thumb, before licking it off. Sanemi groaned, encouraging her to begin stroking his fat dick despite her hand being unable to fully reach around it. She took a curious first lick at his pretty, bulbous head, causing him to shudder, before wrapping her lips around it and sucking as she moved her hand along his thick length.

“Fuck, baby,” Sanemi groaned. Y/N moved her hand to fondle his balls and began taking on more of his length into her mouth, bobbing her head back and forth, a combination of saliva and precum coating his dick. “S-shit– you’re so good at that… fuck,” he groaned.

It took everything within Sanemi to not start fucking her throat at that moment – not wanting to hurt her as she pleasured him. He compromised by grabbing her hair and gently guiding her mouth along his cock, so that he could have some semblance of control over her movements and hence, his orgasm. Before he could cum, he removed her from his length and put his hand underneath her chin, tilting her head up towards his face – a wave of arousal shooting straight through his dick as he saw her swollen, spit-covered lips. “Open,” he commanded, and proceeded to spit into Y/N’s mouth before seeking her lips on his, demanding that she swallow. “Such a good girl for me, I’m gonna fill you up and make you feel perfect, baby,” he promised.

Sanemi pushed her down onto the bed, spreading her legs apart with his. He stroked his cock a few times before lining it up with Y/N’s sopping pussy, selfishly rubbing it up and down her slick folds a few times. He looked into her eyes, seeing her smiling up at him before leaning down and giving a soft kiss to her lips. Y/N moaned softly — unable to wait any longer as she gently wrapped her fingers around his cock, pushing the tip into her tight cunt.

He slowly entered her heat, his shaft stretching open her spongy walls, and he let out a low moan. He lowered himself so that his chest was pressed up against her and his head was in the crook of her neck, and he took Y/N’s hands in his as he started to fuck slowly into her.

“Shit, you’re so perfect for me. You feel so good, baby,” Sanemi moaned and kissed her neck sweetly. Y/N whined as he slowly pulled out just to push his cock back in again – hitting the area that made her see stars. He chuckled, “your pussy just keeps sucking me back in, sweetheart – it’s like she doesn’t want me to leave.” Y/N responded by babbling incoherently, and he looked up at her only to see tears brimming her eyes from the pure pleasure he so graciously gave, and instinctively kissed them away. “Taking my cock so well, such a good girl,” he said before his mouth reached hers, tongue darting between her parted lips before caressing her tongue with his.

His thrusts started to become more desperate, nearly grinding into her – incidentally rubbing against her clit in the process. She moaned against his mouth, her kisses sloppy against his swollen lips. “So good, ‘Nemi…” she whimpered, allowing herself to get lost in the pleasure and heat that he was providing her. He choked on a moan as he continued to rut into her, the squelching sounds of her pussy driving him nearly insane, “gonna cum, pretty. Where– where do you want it?” he asked, surprised he even had the coherency to form words as his mind was half gone from pleasure.

“Inside,” she whined, and his eyes widened, the building tension in his gut rising. “Are you sure?” he asked, and she nodded, writhing underneath him.

“Need it inside…please,” she begged him, and who was he to deny her? His thrusts became sloppier, and he let go of one of her hands to reach down and rub her clit. The pleasure was immense, and Y/N couldn’t think about anything but him as she clenched around his cock as her orgasm flooded through her body – which consequently brought Sanemi over the edge as well, as he all but exploded inside of her hot cunt, groaning deeply as his cum flooded into her womb in thick ropes – causing her to moan and babble incoherently. “Fuck! Fuck– Y/N, I fucking love you,” he confessed in his state of euphoria, and Y/N only fully grasped what he said once he had collapsed on top of her – having just enough energy to pull him up towards her lips to kiss him once more – his lips hot and wet and swollen as they pressed against hers. “I love you too, ‘Nemi. So much,” she confessed, and he looked at her, slightly embarrassed by his own impromptu confession, but beyond elated that she felt the same way.

He slid off of her, his softening cock slipping out of her pussy and he reached his arms around her – wanting nothing more than to hold her close to him as they both lay there on his futon. She smiled lazily in his arms and he kissed her cheek softly. “Not gonna let you go, baby, I swear. I won’t let anything bad happen to you – not anymore,” he said as he gently brushed his rough fingers against her newly formed scar.

“I know, ‘Nemi. I promise I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered softly, and he smiled, thinking that he’d finally found someone to share himself with – someone whom he could shatter into should he feel like breaking, someone who could piece him back together so he could remain strong for the sake of others.

“I know, I trust you.”

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Oh, how wrong he was.

He swore to himself that he was only parted from her for a second as his pace and heart quickened – traversing through the blood-slicked greenery. Sanemi was plagued by loss – his siblings, his mother, his first love – but the feeling that it would happen yet again never lessened the blow nor the curdling acidity that coursed through his gut.

He frantically searched each corpse along the battlefield, hoping, praying, that he wouldn’t find her among them. Sanemi never considered himself religious – he would rather not believe in any god than believe that an almighty being could allow such devastation to course through his life – through others' lives. However, while mustering the waning strength of his muscles to keep him from collapsing, he called out to the universe – selfishly pleading with it to allow him to keep even a single shred of happiness within his life, swearing that he would give anything to ensure her safety, to secure her life as part of his own.

But the universe turned its back on him once again, as he saw a glimpse of her hair – but it wasn’t her hair. No, Sanemi knew that her hair shined in the morning sunlight, it was beautiful and soft as he would feel it between his fingers – it was never bloodied like it was now.

As he rushed over to Y/N, he nearly puked upon setting his eyes on her. There was a deep gash that cut through her torso – one that couldn’t have been caused by anything but the claws of a demon. He could see her entrails spewing out of it, and as his eyes traveled up towards her face, it was obvious that he was far too late. Her eyes – the ones he loved to get lost in, were lifeless; her lips – the ones that were so soft and loving when he kissed her, were parted in what seemed to be remnants of fear from the last moments of her life.

Sanemi couldn’t take it – and, as though pushed by an invisible force, he was knocked down to his knees.

A wretched sob escaped him as he reached towards her, uncaring of the blood and gore that stained his clothing, and he held her close to him. He sobbed out her name, wishing this was some horrible trick – some fucked up nightmare that he was subjected to, but the longer Sanemi held Y/N in his arms, the more he realized that this was real and that he had broken his promise once again – the promise to protect those close to him.

He picked her up and carried her to a clearing away from the battlefield – where a sole willow tree stood, and resolved to bury her there. As he placed Y/N into the ground, Sanemi wished to carve her name amongst the many scars on his body, so that maybe the blood spilled in her honor would somehow tether his soul to hers, so that he may permanently have her in a way that life itself could not provide.

Hours passed, and he finally managed to stand up once more, his heart hardened once again, and it took everything within him to not look back as he walked away from her gravesite. And, despite not wishing to look upon her grave again, Sanemi committed himself to continue living and fighting in her memory as Y/N slowly returned to dust underneath the lone willow.

And so he did — until his very last breath.

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #sanemi shinazugawa #demon slayer smut #kny smut #sanemi x reader #sanemi x y/n #sanemi x you #sanemi smut #shinazugawa sanemi #kny sanemi #kny fanfic #hashira x reader #hashira smut #tw; major character death

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jeonminhao · 11 months

Text

Home • Minghao

Pairing : Xu Minghao x Fem! Reader

Genre : angst, fluff

Word Count : 1.1K

TW : mention of depression(?)

A.N. I'm trying to go back to writing again, this time with Seventeen :) since I am back into the Kpop world lmao. Pls lmk what you think! <3

"I cry, even without tears now. I cry again, just like breathing. Though I try to take a step away from the sorrow that has become my home, I cry on the doorsill. I cry, even without knowing it myself."

Tablo - 집 (Home) (Feat. Lee Sora)

Minghao stood in front of the glass door, his eyes fixed on the CLOSED sign. The flower bouquet he had been holding was wet from the rain, the petals falling pitifully on the gray pavement from how tight he was clutching the bouquet. He was late. Again. And he wasn’t sure if he’ll be forgiven. He quickly took out his phone once he found a canopy that could shield him from the rain, reading the string of texts you had sent him hours prior.

I am here! It’s pretty crowded. I found a place at the very back of the restaurant so we can talk. Saw Jeonghan and Wonwoo at the restaurant and he said you’re still at the studio? Hao, Where are you? Is everything ok? It’s been 2 hours so i guess this means you’re not coming or forgot we’re supposed to meet up :) I’m gonna head back home. I think it’s going to rain soon. Don’t forget your umbrella. Text me soon.

He sighed. He didn’t mean to ignore your texts. His phone was set on his usual silent mode whenever he was working on his paintings. He swore he had remembered that you were supposed to meet at 8 PM in this new place Mingyu recommended the other day. He didn’t know when you two started to make this a thing, trying new places once a week and just hangout and talk about your lives. No. He did know. It was your idea and your twinkling eyes that always looked at him as if he was loved and deserving of one. And who could say no to that? To your gentle smile and warm hand that always finds its way wrapped in his. And he did enjoy it. How couldn’t he? He fell in love with you the first time Jeonghan introduced you to the group three years ago and had been ever since. But life seemed to have a way to fuck up everything he desired.

He knew a bad day was inevitable and the darkness that wrapped around him like a blanket was not an unfamiliar feeling. Every day seemed like a chore. It was just exhausting. Even breathing exhausts him. But he thought it would be different this time. He thought having you by his side would lessen the pain. And maybe it did, to an extent. But he was drowning and he was just exhausted to even want to try.

As if it wasn’t enough, his art project wasn’t progressing as well as he’d like and he kept scraping layers of paints and changing his canvases when they finally gave up on him. He had destroyed a half finished painting due to frustration and would’ve destroyed the rest of his paintings if you didn’t knock on his studio door.

And in the midst of his worries and struggle, he started to push everyone away. It was better to be alone. The coldness in his heart was more familiar than the warmth of your embrace and he was terrified. It was too foreign for him, the happiness, the warmth, and the feeling of belonging, of being home.

“Hao?” Minghao startled, eyes quickly focused on the familiar figure standing under a black umbrella.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” was all he could say, mouth forming an ‘o’ shape. You were supposed to be mad at him for forgetting your ‘adventures’ for the nth times. You were supposed to throw tantrums and threaten to block him and end this friendship. But there you were, standing in front of him with the black satin dress he bought for you last month and the leather jacket that he realized was also a gift from him. You took tentative steps towards him, a smile blooming in your face once you finally stepped under the canopy.

“You texted me?”

Minghao looked down at his cold hand, the phone on his hand was still on with your chat window opened.

‘Sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m late again. Iloveyou. I’m s osoorry.’

He didn’t even remember when he typed those texts nor did he remember pressing the send button despite the typos.

He reread his text again and froze. “Y/N–,”

“Did you mean that?” You asked, taking another step closer and Minghao could smell the familiar perfume on you and the scent of your favorite shampoo. “Did you mean it when you said you love me?” You asked again, this time in a whisper.

It had been 3 years, 970 days to be exact (not that Minghao is counting) since he first fell in love with you. And not once, even in his drunken state, did he let himself text you and confess. Especially not in such a dumb way. He prided himself as someone who was always in control of his emotions, keeping everything hidden to make sure you wouldn’t be uncomfortable. But there he was, sober and doing the stupidest thing a Minghao could do. Not even drunk Soonyoung would do this, he fleetingly thought before he turned his attention back to you.

“I brought you flowers. They’re ruined. Sorry. I know i shouldn’t be late and forgot but everything has been shit and–”

“I love you, Minghao.” Your words stopped his trainwreck of a thought. His eyes widened as he looked at you. “I thought you hated going with me and doing this… But Jeonghan said you kept telling him about our time and he said you really love it. And I noticed you’ve been kinda withdrawn ever since I saw you at the studio. You do know you are not alone right, Minghao?” You took his hand in you. It was cold but it was okay. Minghao was Minghao and he was anything but cold to you. “ It’s okay to have a difficult time, but don’t forget you have a lot of people who would do anything for you.”

“This seems more like an intervention than a confession.” He blurted out before both of you burst into giggles, the cold rain suddenly didn’t feel so cold anymore now that he had wrapped his arms around you, the bouquet long forgotten on the wet pavement.

“It’s both.” Was all you said before pressing your lips against him. A gentle and wary kiss, as if you were terrified he’d hate it. He let go of one hand and cupped your cheek, pulling you into a deeper kiss, sighing in relief, his body relaxing under your touch and heated kiss. Murmurs of apologies and I love you’s keep spilling out of his lips as your hand clutch the front of his sweater as if he was your lifeline.

Maybe the unfamiliar was okay. Maybe he could get used to this.

#minghao #xu minghao #myungho #seventeen #minghao x reader #minghao imagines #svt x reader #minghao fic #minghao scenario #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios

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mrplantfr · 6 months

Text

Adam x loyal reader

I've never done this sorta thing so its definitely gonna be trash lmao

Warning!// major nsfw, swearing, religion. Minors, DNI

Adam and you were always together all day, and always talked about eachother. And, when you two got married, things just got more and more worse. By that, I mean obsession over eachother. Wearing eachother's clothes, using same products, always spooning when sleeping, per names, etc. Yk, the usual. Part of it was because he didn't want to loose you like his last wives.

One morning, your husband woke you up at the ass crack of dawn like a child on Christmas. He was estatic saying "Babe, c'mon! Wake up! Get up right now, please!". All you could do was groan and half assedly try to get up.

When you were finally awake completely, (sort of) you asked "Why are you even waking me up at four in the morning?" "Well," he responded "lucifer doesn't know i have a wife again, so I was thinking we could go to a meeting to show off I have a hot wife and he's rotting in hell! Doesn't that sound fun!?" No, it wasn't going to be, but he was so insecure and he looked so happy, you just had to.

As you were walking there, he was gushing saying how happy and excited he was to shove it in that he was married to a hottie and he couldn't steal you. But you were pretty concerned. You knew he was going to try and pull the same stuff as lillith and eve, but you knew it wouldn't work. But, you knew it would hurt your partner, wich hurt to think about. Of course, you held his arm the whole time.

When you arrived, you sat on Adam's lap instead of a chair, to make things clear. (And his dad bod made it really comfortable). "Jeez, its been half an hour, he should be here by now." you mentioned. "Don't worry your sexy little head off, it's gonna be worth it." He said in a villainous type of tone. All the sudden, BAM, the door flew open and lucifer stormed in. And then he noticedyou. "So, whos the lady? Rawrrr~" lucifer asked Adam. "My wife" he said smugly. "Oh, well," he leaned towards you "is this fatso really satisfying you, or is it pity?". Adam's giddy grin turned to an upset frown immediately. "YES I DO" he screamed, slaming hand on the table. "I asked her, not you." He said smugly. "So, be honest: what pain does he put you through in the sack?"

You immediately got up, "He is far better than you. You might think you can steal me like those two other tasteless home wrecking assholes, but not me, I have dignity in who I marry. Get your sorry ass away from me and my husband, with your lonely divorced ass who gave your daughter daddy issues." You pointed to the door, as he was taken aback. Adam was stunned, yet also thought it was hot not gonna lie.

Lucifer quickly stepped out, while you sat back on Adam's lap satisfied with what you had done. Adam stayed silent, but not for long. "Babe, that was- FUCKING HOT." He was hard as a rock, and you noticed. "I can tell, but, I love you. I wouldn't leave you for that twig." you said reassuringly, stroking his hair with your hands. A quick peck on the cheek from you and he carried you bridal style home, lovestruck. And when you got there, he was sure to fuck you shamelessly.

He threw you on the bed and ripped your pants off immediately. He didn't have time to take his robe off though, he just rolled it up and started thrusting. Your back was bouncing up and down off the mattress, making LOUD creaking sounds, and it was delightful. "A-adam~ fuck, ngh~" you moaned. "Scream for me, bitch." And you complied. "Fuck- THATS SO HOT" you screamed. with a load tone. He eventually took his cock out, and you were creaming like a mad man. "P-please~" you begged him to not stop, but then he, without warning, shoved two of his massive claws in your clit. "FUCK, BABE" you screamed in pleasure, surprisingly, the claws didn't hurt, or the pleasure was covering it up. He was happy with the screamed you made, music to his ears. "You're gonna love giving me head later, huh?" He said. "Y-yes, babe-" all the sudden, he stopped that too. You were upset, but let out a loud sigh, when all the sudden, he pulled you by your collar on your shirt. "You gonna show me what you're capable of, sweetie~?", he asked flirtingly. "Y-yes, anything for you."

"Good~" he said. Then you pulled your head down between his legs and put his tip in your mouth. You swirling your tongue around it made him groan. "F-fuck, babe-" he said under his breath, he was tired, but not too tired to get head at least. Then you started bobbing your head, slowly but damn, it felt good. He was making indescribable noises, but he was enjoying every moment.

Eventually, you two were too tired to continue, so you put your clothes back on and went to bed. "Good night, hot stuff." He said, before passing out. "Night, babe" you said as you kissed his forehead and went to bed aswell, holding eachother in a warm embrace.

WOW, that was a weird first fanfic, but I liked it. Tell me what you guys think and please don't bully me TVT

#adam hazbin hotel x reader

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kthecutest · 1 year

Note

hi darls how are you today? anyways you know me ( I have another req🤸) and imma do a yuma smut req (being yuma biased is great🤸) (yuma!sub)

can you do yuma and you trying vibrators for the first time and you edge and then overstim him? and he's being a brat as well so uhm punishment! and hes gonna sort.of cry

thank darls<3 xoxo

-🤍anon

Hi girlieee! I'm doing great and I hope you are as well! <33 Sorry the post came back so late, I've been wrapped around in fluff requests so my hornyness wouldn't return but yesss today it returned and it's wilder than ever. So the smut came out way way longer LMAO just a warning though- this got so wild to the point that while I was proofreading I was basically heating up so bad (╥ᆺ╥；) I hope you'll love it my fav anon (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) !

┏━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━┓

Pairing : sub!Yuma x dom!gn!reader Genre : NSFW (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ 🥕 A/N ೃ⁀➷ MINORS DNI

It’s been countless minutes, almost felt like hours to Yuma who is set in front of your figure in a desperate pitiful state. A black blindfold wrapped like a tapestry over his cat-like eyes while another piece of cloth was tied tightly around his mouth to restrict his moans and whimpers. The cloth no longer being able to do its job because the cat boy was nibling on it to the point it has rolled up into a thin line gagging him. An egg vibrator taped to his fully-hard dick on full display while his hands are tied tightly at the back, the ropes leaving marks on his snow-white skin. His legs aren’t tied though but the poor kitty cannot bring himself to close his legs from the embarrassing state since he was feeling too much pain and pleasure at the same time. And that pink shaking crystal-like dildo snucked warmly in his stretched hole was the cherry on top.

Yet despite all the components, there was not a single spot of whiteness or cum anywhere. You told him not to cum until you got your hands on him so the bratty but obedient kitty listened to you. Since he wasn’t ready for any more punishment after all. The worst part was that you were seated right in front of him watching his pitiful embarrassing state while sliding a plastic cock in and out of your drenched pussy, letting out wild moans just to trigger the desperate boy in full restriction. Not putting headphones on him was such a right idea.

After some more minutes of torture, his dick was already so red and swollen to the point it looked like on the edge of exploding. Feeling a bit merciful for the boy, you finished your fair share of fun and walked over to him, unravelling the cloth restrictions on his face. “Alright kitty~ you’ve done such a great job~ how does that feel hm~?” you kissed and licked all the tears sprawled out on his cheeks. “N- need to cum~ master please~ t- too much” he begged, stuttering, earning a smirk from you. “Who would have known the vibrators would change my bratty little kitty~” you grabbed onto the wired button that attached to the vibrating egg on his dick, turning it up while your other hand goes to stroke the base of his leaking cock. Just a few strokes and the boy was already falling apart right in front of you; eyes rolled to the back of his head while his legs shook in timing with his orgasm. The white sticky fluid squirting out, wetting his abdomen, his thighs and some getting on your thighs. You took your hand off him licking the fluid-covered hand with your set of lustful eyes fixed on him.

As soon as the naughty kitty has had his release, his brattyness quickly came back to life. “Ugh.. changed my ass. I was just effected because it’s my first time trying them..” he swiftly found an excuse to defend himself, his legs still shaking and body limp; still not recovered properly from the orgasm earlier. “Oh really~? Well I guess now that your little first time is over… you can handle more, can’t you?” His eyes widen in shock as the brattyness seemed to have been kicked out of him but before he could make a snarky remark, he felt a strong aggressive pressure on the vibrating dildo snucked in his clenched hole; his eyes were so close to rolling to the back of his head as he let out a loud gasp followed by breathy pants. “F-fuck.. stop that..” “Hm~? Why kitty~? Got your own tongue now~?” a dramatic pause in between the ruffling sounds of you moving around behind him and his breathy desperate little pants filled the room. “Don’t forget who has the vibrator controller, connected straight to the one snuck in that tight hole of yours right now…~” a moan left his lips as you tugged on his hair harshly pulling it back.

“ngh~.. hurts..” you thought he was whining about the harsh tug on his hair until you looked down to see his half-hard cock. “Well bratty kitty~ how about we play a game of penalty since you can handle all this so well now~?” He shaked his head with a pouty face; that didn’t stop you from pushing the vibrator deeper into him earning a loud mewl from him, leaving him panting and drooling on the couch. You tapped on his cheeks drawing his attention back towards you – “Now now kitty~ you can’t break yet..” You turned up the vibrations of both vibrators. The tears threatening to fall from the corner of the boy’s eyes started raining down, the room being filled with loud mewls and moans; so loud that you were convinced you both were getting a noise complaint after this.

You circled your slim fingers around the plastic piece in his hold. The crying kitty turned around to look back at you with pitiful teary eyes expecting you were gonna take it out; instead you shoved your fingers from the small sneaky space that you could get from the stretched now-filled hole. “Fuck.. you’re so tight baby..” and that was it. The boy screamed out loud feeling the knot in his stomach snap as he came again squirting all over the couch. “Fuck… so much..” you didn’t hear any whining or reply from the boy; you moved away the sweaty bangs on his forehead sticking onto his forehead – he’s passed out. Oh welp it was quite reasonable considering today’s activity. You let out a chuckle and moved him over a bit, covering him with a thin shirt and headed to the bathroom to grab some towels.

#&team #andteam #&team imagines #&team scenarios #&team fanfic #&team x reader #&team hard thoughts #&team hard hours #&team smut #&team yuma #nakakita yuma #🤍 anon

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throwaway-yandere · 8 months

Note

With Valentine’s approaching, I figured I’d shoot my shot before the blog revamp :’3

Good afternoon, Archbishop Theophilus!! Since you took the time to inquire about my personal style, it’s only polite that I ask you a similar question \(//∇//)\

Aside from fur cloaks, do you have any other fashion preferences?? I assume you have an affinity for accessories, given your earring and hair ornaments. Ohh and I can only imagine how elegant your horns would look with jewelry—not that they aren’t already striking on their own. (Do correct me if dragons such as yourself are against decorating their horns.)

I’ll leave it at that. I’m afraid that if I go into more detail about your beauty, I’d take up too many of your precious hours. Have a nice day, Archbishop ^o^

P.S. Hiiii Ansy, I hope you’re doing well!! I’ve said this before but Theophilus is srsly so pretty. And a dragon + archbishop combo……it feels rather oxymoronic(??), which makes his concept all the more interesting. I can’t wait for his fic >:3

P.P.S. GOODBYE I JUST LEARNED THAT DUKE DILUC IS IN THE LEAD?? And I’d just typed a paragraph joking about how Theophilus and Sunday (the previous lead) both have Biblical references *sobs* I’ll miss our archbishop……

"There... I must say, dear, it looks wonderful on you— though perhaps a size too large— but it adds to the charm!" The archbishop spoke. Although his voice is as soft as ever, no one can miss the way his voice chirps like an excited fledgeling. "You are a beautiful human, Jessamine. My ornaments look far more dashing when you are the one to wear them."

He chuckled softly as he patted your head.

"You can keep what you're wearing, I have spares." Theophilus said before you caught a glimpse of a teasing smirk in his face that disappeared quickly. "I'm aware the flower may not be as valuable for the merchants, but the cloak should fetch a large sum of gold."

"After all, most of what I wear are prepared by the Royal Family. All except the flower and earring. I enjoy any reminders that the small things in life— in nature— are worth thousand years of living for. Before I was hailed as the archbishop, I donned enormous flower crowns often. A shame it's not appropriate for my station."

The Archbishop closed his eyes and pondered about your next inquiry.

"My kind... Hmm..." He mumbled softly. "I wouldn't know. I am the last living Earth dragon left, but if my predecessors and I are similar, I think we wouldn't mind extra decor. That is, of course, if it is a gift bestowed by our beloveds...."

"Oh, leaving so soon?" Theophilus frowned. "Oh, that's alright. Do not fret, I understand. May the God Eusebius walk alongside you."

Okay it's ansy now, I hope you're doing well too and omg I'm rereading your HVOY reblog for a while now fuskkfkakskw. Theo is such a good boy I feel bad for the pain I'm putting him that I nearly forgot how much worse it is that he's a "dragon" archbishop ngl hAHAHAH—

ALSO SIKDKAKA I HAVE NO CLUE WHO'S WINNING THE THEME, I JUST HEARD THE RANKINH WAS SUNDAY FIRST, THEN RATIO THEN NEUVILLETTE??? AND NOW ITS DILUC???? LAST TIME I HEARD DILUC WAS LAST PLACE WITH NO VOTES TF HAPPENED HAHAJAHAJAHAH WHO STARTED A PROPAGANDA HUH?????? WHICH ONE OF YALL WAS IT LMAO—

Naur cuz me too 😭😭😭 i was gonna make a Theo passing his job to Sunday joke drawing too about how they're besties cuz I thought Sunday was on the lead. I am definitely not expecting Diluc. Duke Diluc I know you are self-aware and know the world is a lie but please don't hurt Theo he never did anything wrong ever

#ansy-stalks #eidolon: theophilus #eidolon answers

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taegularities · 2 months

Note

i am guilty of not remembering muchhh bc of my short term memory 🤓🤠 so i skimmed the previous chapter and was refreshed hehe ANYWAYS wow it really has been a while since the last chapter but while reading blooming and starting palette,,, i felt this sense of familiarity with them and it's hard to describe but it's so good!!! It's like fav dramas/series/books that even when you forgot some details or a lot 😅 u have this instant bond/happiness and u still have these amazing feelings for the characters and the story!!! I'm not sure if ur getting me Rid aha it's the yapper in me but i guess the tldr is that i felt that "WE ARE SOOOO BACK MY BESTIES" like i REALLY felt it lol. And i was really happy to read cmi again ❤️‍🩹

While I do agree with others that this is also my new favorite chapter,,,,, I think that's also not true for me??? bc every chapter is my fav!!! It's really really really literally the whole story since then and everything u write is a favorite 💜

Aside from all the fluff that i loveeee, so much love for this chapter which included their friends and in a trip setting bc it's so wholesome and in relationships esp if ur the type to always go out with friends, it's fun to see everyone getting together 🫶🏼

Nowww some of my fave lines:

His attention is directed towards Jimin, the main organiser of your trip; everybody’s been posing questions today as if he’s studied the town and journey to the tiniest detail. Jimin rubs a palm over his tired eyes, sighing before he speaks. this is so funny bc MOOD

HEAVY AFFECTION!!!!

“People climb mountains, watch the world from above, need to see forests to figure out how good life can be. And that it can be worth living,” he says, his voice velvety soft. “But I feel that way with you every day, you know? I do… I do love you so much.” 🥲🥲🥲

“Huh?” he breathes out, moving to look up at you. His eyebrows still suggest slight pain, but there’s something so loving in his worn voice when he says, “You want kids with m—” I LOVE HIM PLSSSSS

And a lot more but those are what I instantly copy pasted lol. Also the "fight" at the end starting with jimin was so chaotic and funny to me lmao. It was all just so real + with oc and jk sorting it out in the middle of the road lol.

Anywaysss wow i think it took me 2 hours + to read and im not complaining bc i had fun savoring every word. I think i always say this but i (and i know the others too) am really thankful that you're here and continuing to share your ideas and writing with us 🫶🏼 the writing is always topnotch, its crazyyyy, good crazy 😇 and ig in behalf of us who aren't always here and even from the silent readers, thank you!! You'll always have our heart and support. I hope that during times that it gets quiet here (and i hope it wont) you remember that there's a lot of us who adore you 🫂

kAT 🫂 it's okay lmao even i forgot a lot and had to reread 😭 there's just a lot of info in those 370k words. and yeah, i totally get that… time may pass, but once we return to the fictional world we love, it feels like coming home. i was so relieved, too, once i dove into cmi again 🥺 and pls yap away, i vibe so much with yappers 😂

yes, ikr!!! i was so damn excited to write this chapter bc of the new dynamics and deeper friendships. this trip really brought them a lot closer. and babe, your favourite lines plsss 🥹 the mountain one has my heart… i think i wrote it literally months and months and MONTHS ago :') and i see, the kids one is really affecting people 😂 the fight was skfajksdf she was just so tired and it affected her mood and then jimin's just an idiot, too lmao 😂 ty for literally copy pasting lines??? this is always so flattering to a writer 😭

2 hours is still pretty fast, tbh!! it took me days to edit the chapter, so hahaha :') thank you so so much for providing me with this much love and warmth, kat. i appreciate your words to bits, like :( the last paragraph, i'm gonna sob 🥹 i adore you sm, too, ty for always being here, love 🤍

#370k words tho can y'all believe it??? 🥹#cmi12 spoilers #notes for rid 🌹#kat <3 #fic: colour me in

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dudewithastick · 2 years

Text

sneaky peek at my current wip (also the first wip i had in months) and some thots on it. i need to rant (complain) so bear with me

so far its going pretty good, it doesn’t look bad and thats cool bcs i defs wouldve given up if it did look bad at this point.

obviously this is some kind of realism style and its okay, its not the best, idc. what sucks is that i dont even want this style but its the only one i can do. like i wanna do cartoons and other artsy stuff with clear lines or just sketching. stuff i see online, but i CANNOT do it, no matter how hard i try. i will always do some realistic shadowing and then its over bcs the composition isnt right for me anymore. and i hate it bcs not only would my life be so much easier if i wouldnt fall into this kind of ‘realistic’ style, which is straight up a pain, id be so much more productive as well. but i’m some weird perfectionist dumbass (blame it on my virgo rising or whatever) so shading and tiny details it is.

speaking of details, i love that i accidentally built this wip on my sketch file, which was not nearly a good enough format and now the quality SUCKS ASS but thats nothing new to me so i’m just gonna accept that every detail i draw is like 5 pixels only and you can barely see them.

another thing i suck at is color theory. and when i started this project (yesterday) i was set on doing only b&w. literally 3 seconds in i used colors and i regretted it immediately bcs it looked good which meant i had to continue bcs we dont do half assed shit… so now i committed to color and i don’t understand color theory. like i can see it working but it doesn’t make sense and all i do is experiment bcs i see no sense or pattern (now i question my tiktok diagnosis of autism, neurodivergence and adhd)

at this point i have also given up at originality. im just copying my references picture, which is fine bcs i will never be able to draw a whole ass person, and i would defs not be satisfied if i wouldn’t add details. so now im stuck at drawing a whole military outfit and my reference picture is also only 9 pixels so i cant even make out what im drawing. i’m just guessing at this point.

okay for now the last part of my complaining… @blnk338 why did u choose such a unique mask for reaper? the way i struggled with the concept and its still not perfect but i dont wanna get hung up on it so i’m moving all over the place and going back to the mask every other minute… pretty sure the mask design alone took me 2 hours to put together so it made sense to my brain and then another 3 to design to my liking lmao

anyway this is a snippet of my current take on reaper from rwys, which so far is only the body but there will probs be eyes at some point, if i dont give up. first time in months, almost years of drawing something, so i guess big thanks to blink for giving me the motivation and a character to work on for fun. hopefully i can give an update on progress soon lol

#rwys #fanart #reaper #prawny draws #prawny complains #prawny rants #wip #teach me color theory pls i beg u #why did i choose the placement of my light source 3 hours in??#i am my own nemesis

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malevolententity · 1 year

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hello season 2 i am in Pain

project 4

to start this off. you all must know that i loath granny squares. i think theyre Fine to make as a boredom time killer! theyre fairly easy to work up! but making Pieces. Making Whole Ass Projects Out Of Squares? killing myself. killing god even. killing every pattern maker and every urge in me to Make the thing.

i hate this bag with a passion. i like it because the mushrooms are cute! its made entirely of scrap yarn that couldnt be used in other projects but a granny square project was perfect! the entire point of this bag is to put in every piece i make, that i keep, while watching ordem into this! it shall serve its purpose well. but i hate it. i hate this thing so much.

this wretched thing took about 14 hours? i started it 2 hours into season 2. i finished this bag with about 10 minutes to spare on episode 4. this is a 14 hour bag and i hate my life with a passion but its okay because i made something to hold things i like more LMAO.

i am though very proud of it working out colorwise as well as it did since its made of all scrap yarn. the handle doesnt work as Well as i was hoping but i think it still pulls all the blues nicely for the most part. and again its just a think to hold projects for the moment unless i end up gifting it. for not proper planning i Do like it even if i kinda hate it xD

season thoughts so far

dude luis can not catch a break like i Know both deaths of his so far have been purposeful by his own hand. but like what the fuck dude, he can not have a character that lives to see episode 4 huh. i like the big weird spider ngl i hope we get a fucked up brocket or a fucked up bear with whatever the fuck is going on in the forest. m kinda neutral on arthur right now but i know he'll grow on me as we get more episodes in, god m gonna miss cris and esp what growth we coulda had between cris and cesar but i know its probably gonna kick off a wonderful cesar arc. assuming he survives to see said arc.

still big fan of joui, in love with the entire conversation between joui and liz surrounding The Stairs Incident hes soooooo. that fucking conversation took me out. i cant wait to see what happens next and who the next casualty is because i knew getting into it, but esp now that this is a no holds series, you will just die and have to learn how to keep going. since i dont check the wiki m really interested to see if luis comes back in the next? 12 episodes i think are left? with a new character or if hes just gone from the season and i gotta wait for season 3 to see him again.

and sadly :( i can not watch anymore ordem for the next little bit even tho i have a project and yarn all picked out because i hurt my wrist yesterday while crocheting and did the Silly of finishing this piece today even with slight pain. so m gonna be kind to myself a rest a few days even tho i reaaaally wanna see whats in this fucked up bone house???? human skull effigy house its Gotta be something interesting. but until then. i shall simply enjoy normal streams and learning more portuguese

#a ordem crochet #fiber art

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bunnyb34r · 1 year

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Well work was... interesting

Had to redo all of my signs but 2 (I have 16 sign holders (used to be 18 😑) anyway they want ONE ITEM per sign. On average I have 30 items. Not gonna happen. Especially since we were told today we are NOT allowed to pull merchandise unless it says liquidate. Literally the day before we were told to PULL IF ITS UNDER 40 GET THIS DONE!

Anyway they want the signs TYPED if they're more than one item. It takes ~5 min per sign (not including the time it takes to walk upstairs and log in ect)

I must have been upstairs for an HOUR at least it was insane but I took my time bc fuck em

Apparently no one but me even types them so now no one remembers HOW to do them and im like sucks to suck don't it? We were told how nearly 9 months ago. It's also like so self explanatory and easy but no one wants to do it

Anyway so they need a header to say what area the sign is and it has to fit on the sign (we cannot change the type size) so I always put "Children's Apparel" as mine. Whoever did the clearance table used all caps and put like "CLEARANCE ITE" Bc the "items" got cut off lmao like just put Clearance or Marked Down

And the reason for the fire being under BaldBastards ass, taking my sign holders away, scrutinizing the layout. The Upper Management lady is supposed to show up today. That bitch hasn't shown up ONCE since I started lmao so I no longer jump when they ask

Anyway by the time I got back to my area I was told to go fix the jeans bc theyre slanted and I know how to fix that (again it's not hard. We weren't shown how months ago. Everyone decided it was a pain in the ass and just didn't do it but me.) And then I had to explain that yeah you guys did read the layout wrong :) apparently [relative coworker] and I are the only fucking people who know how to read them AND ITS NOT HARD

I mean NewLady knows how to do it in terms of what items go where but she doesnt get that the bars have to line up specifically to how they are on the layout and it's so annoying like customers don't see this shit they're not gonna go to another Store and be like hmmm the other location has their bar lower than this... hmmmmmmmm

And ofc the lady team lead who did the layout did the whole thing wrong so we had to fix everything (:

But I'm off tomorrow so idgaf if she shows up or not lmao not my problem.

#marquilla #work talk

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suqqubus · 1 month

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bortion story!!! dont read if u dont like medical stuff

took mifepristone two days ago, got some cramps/nausea overnight and felt kinda gross and tired when i woke up

took four misoprostol yesterday and within like 10 minutes i started feeling cramps and nausea. 20 mins in, cramps started getting worse and worse, i ran to the bathroom and couldnt keep my puke in on the way and just. vommed all over the floor

couldnt keep down water, kept puking it up. took like 1200mg ibuprofen (unheard of for me) and my cramps were still so bad i couldnt think/move. after enduring this for like 2 hours i called my sister and asked her to take me to the ER lol

ive had really bad periods before (i've had convulsions & passed out from pain lol) and this was that level of pain, but that always starts to subside eventually, this just kept going on and on and on with no relief.

i hadn't even started bleeding yet, just had crazy cramps/nausea, until i got to the ER when i started bleeding like crazy. and all i had was my period underwear and i knew i was just gonna bleed through that shit lol

so we wait like 2ish hours in the ER, im in the most pain ive ever been in my entire life, pacing around/curling up on the seats lookin fuckin insane bc i could not find any relief from the pain. they asked me to give a urine sample and i could NOT pee AT ALL due to dehydration!!! also when the nurse asked for my medical info i puked, it was truly so embarrassing

started getting the most insane chills that i literally couldnt control, got my blood drawn and then got an ultrasound. when i went to take off my shorts for the transvaginal part i bled all over the floor and i was like omggg im so sorry 😭

the whole time shes doing the ultrasound im shaking soooo bad from the chills and bleeding like a pig and the nurse was like "im going to see if they can get you a bed right away" prob bc i was so PATHETIC

once i got in the ER bed the pain was subsiding, i must have passed the embryo by that point bc when the doctor saw me he said that there was no baby in the ultrasound and it all looked clear, and i was like FUCKIN PHEWWWW

so they give me an IV and pain meds (i really couldve used stronger stuff tbh bc i still felt quite a bit of cramping for a while lol) and i just laid there breathing through everything and feeling so so so grateful that the worst pain was over

anyway i bled through my absorbent underwear and shorts and the hospital bed looked like someone fuckin died there when i got up and i had to sit on a bag in my sisters car lmao

but anyway i woke up today feeling soooo good, like the most energy i've had in forever and so motivated to get stuff done. im still bleeding a lot (i use a menstrual cup and filled it 3 times from the time i went to bed to when i woke up 🙃) but wow wow wow just feel so good today its crazy

all in all i think if i had prescription strength pain meds at home i would've probably been ok, but i cannot stress how little the ibuprofen did to help my pain lol

also idk if i needed to take four misoprostol??? i truly think i wouldve been ok w 2 because i felt the effects sooo soon after taking it (it was still dissolving under my tongue when i puked) and im notorious for not needing as high a dose of drugs as other people lol

#p #this is long but if it helps someone then yay

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irregulardiaryposts · 7 months

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20:40 07/03/2024

okay wow well its been well over two years since i updated this 'diary' blog lol

so weird seeing all those old posts about being a teenager with existential thoughts lol i dont really think like that anymore, at least not so much. i guess an update is in order then lmao okay so im in my 3rd year of uni now and im doing my year abroad! doing it in a small city in spain and i really quite like my job, ive only got 14hrs, i have a 3 day weekend, the city is small so i can walk everywhere and this job really gives me a sense of purpose that ive been missing in my life. makes me really realise that university is NOT for me lmfao i was so depressed during my second year i probs went to like 20% of my classes loool. im pretty sure i mightve almost failed aswell but since the professors were doing a marking boycott they released grades without marking the final exam and so since i was already doing well enough in all my classes i passed! quite lucky i think cos i wouldve been so entirely embarrassed and ashamed if i had to repeat a year cos of mental health. i think things are better here tho my issues havent disappeard completely like eg i have these evening classes 6-7.40pm tuesdays and thursdays and for the past like month i havent attended :/ at first it was cos i was sick (i think it was covid lol either from glasgow or on the plane back idk) and then i just didnt go back to class. i think my main excuse is that that is dinner time for me and i dont wanna move dinner time lol. but also i think the class itself is just not for me i dont feel like i learn a whoooole lot while im there and learning on apps is easier for me? but i always felt better for going to the classes cos i was like ha! im not depressed would a depressed person do this!? but of course depression doesnt work like that and i think i need medicated ! but that seems too scary to say. but at least i found someone to do a language exchange with! ive only had one hour with her in spanish, which was yesterday, but i already feel like ive improved lmaooo like i literally dreamt last night in a mix of spanish and english ahahahah cos when i think about it i literally have not ever regularly spoken spanish, ive only really spoken for activies in class or speaking exams so no wonder i have 0000 confidence in my speaking abilities but im hopeful that this will really improve my speaking :) about my job i guess- i work in a high school and i really enjoy interacting with the kids they really do make every day different and more interesting so i am grateful for them but sometimes damnnn sometimes i wanna jump out the window especially with this third year class they are the class KNOWN for being a bitof a pain lol and sometimes i have to lead the class by myself lmaooo mid u ik im 20 but i dont look it and they certainly dont treat me like an adult or a teacher and ngl they are a bit disrespectful at times but also what are u gonna do they are 14 and i have no proper teaching experience to help them by myself i can only hope that im actuallt helping them learn english lol. it is quite difficult tho with my scottish accent to try and sound as clear as possible because i pronounce almost 100% of the vowel sounds differently than rp english which is what i think they are used to so i have to realllyyyy annunciate all my words and man is it tiring lol.

what else. im going to madrid this weekend with bestie and im really looking forward to having a relaxing and fun time but i still havent packed my bags looooooool i alwyas do this tho and its fine not a big deal at all but i def need to do it tonight cos im leaving tomorrow immediately after work so ill have to have an actual breakfast and take snacks with me. im really enjoying my time in spain or at least im trying to but i feel like i have pushed myself enough out my comfort zone to be able to look back on this and say yeah i really took advantage of that. like i think i need to be more personable (is that a word yes it is i used it right) in teaching and be more interactive with them and stuff also i feel like i shoulve arranged a language exchange sooner cos i think this will really help, and i need to interact more with the other assistant but the thing is is im just not a sociable personnnnnnn aghgh. any way cutting this short cos i need to pack my bags for my trupppppp

#not using the tagging system i did on other posts i dont think theyre ever likely to be useful lmao

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oflgtfol · 2 years

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sorry i feel like after every single migraine i have i need to do a self reflection afterward

holy shit so i woke up. at 2am like i said i would and my migraine is gone im still kinda weird so im gonna go back to sleep to make sure its entirely gone bc being on my phone again is making me wary of it returning but like. my 2am estimate was spot on LMAO

But anyway uhm my real holy shit moment is the fact that. this was the very first migraine ive ever experienced where i never got sick. which kind of made it miserable because i normally cope with migraines by, uhm TMI + emetophobia warning, but i normally cope with the pain because puking makes the pain stop for a few minutes, and thats normally when im finally able to fall asleep, so i normally spend the entire migraine mostly sleeping and then just waking up briefly to puke again and then go back to sleep, and then over the course of the next 6 hours each time i wake up the pain gradually weakens until its gone. but when i dont puke its just pain and pain and theres no relief it took me two entire hours to finally fall asleep today and i was even like rocking bakc and forth trying to make myself nauseous to puke to get some relief but it just wouldnt happen im surprised i even fell asleep within two hours but i did and i slept right through until 2am and now my migraines gone.

this sort of happened with the last migraine i had except if i rememeber correctly i did puke, but only once, and it was after that one time that i was able to sleep the rest off, and that happened about an hour into it but it was still a miserable hour. and again even just getting sick only one time is an outlier for me

i did take excedrin right at the beginning of my migraine today, which my mom has been using for her own migraines, and she also got me to take it last time as well, so im wondering if the excedrin is whats making my migraines less intense in terms of getting sick. and also the pain hasnt been as bad as it normally is, but again its still a migraine so its still Bad, so i still kinda wanna get sick just for relief. bur when the pain is its normal level then i like NEED to get sick so i can get relief. so i guess in exchange for not getting sick, i get less pain as well, but its like, it kinda makes it more of a miserable experience than a normal migraine because i dont get any relief. so i dont know i have mixed feelings about excedrin if its gonna make it harder for me to sleep off my migraines which is my main way of coping with it

bur then the other part of me is wondering, this frequency of migraines is really new and abnormal. im normally on a strict 2 year schedule, my last on-schedule migraine was in fall 2021 i wasnt scheduled for another migraine until fall 2023, but then i got one in october 2022, i think i got one again sometime a month or two after that, and now here i am again in march 2023, like three migraines in a row in a year that i wasnt even scheduled to have a single migraine in. some part of me is worried it might be an effect of accutane but hopefully since im off it now and its getting out of my system i’ll make my way back to my old schedule (if it even is a side effect of accutane) cuz like it sucks getting one this frequently, although its still not as bad as people who have like actual chronic migraines like my mom who gets one every 2-3 weeks, or others who get them even more frequently than that. but it still sucks yknow lol

the only other thing i can think of that might be causing migraines more frequently is that like. either my chronic sleep deprivation is catching up to me, or like. shits so bad im seriously wondering if every little thing wrong with me lately can be like a physical side effect of having severe depression like im seriously about to google if depression can make migraines worse cuz i dont know anything anymore. especially because i was in such a shit ass fucking mood this morning and then lo and behold migraine

so anyway im also wondering if maybe just the fact that these migraines are off schedule might be making them weaker than my normal ones. like my 2 year schedule ones are the mega migraines the things that last 6-8 hours, the ones that cause the huge entire, UNMISTAKABLE auras that cover my whole vision (rather than my wimpy ones lately that have me doubting if its an aura at all until its already almost over), the ones that have me bedridden within minutes of the aura ending, the ones that have the worst pain of my life and make sick like every 20 minutes, etc. And then maybe these off schedule ones, since theyre off schedule, might be weaker, have me sick less offen and with less pain, and tend to be slightly shorter than normal, etc? but i dont know it probably is just the excedrin causing the difference

#brot posts

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anisette-blackwirth · 2 years

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SAGAU: Meeting Kazuha

summary: You started playing after Kazuha's release and have been waiting almost a year for his rerun (based on a true story lmao)

spoiler warning: inazuma archon quest spoilers

content warning: not exactly a cult AU but close enough. Chosen Traveler is Aether.

notes: I intend to eventually do one of these introspectives for each of my main team (and other characters, as applicable), but... Kazuha's banner is coming out in a few hours, so I had to write this quickly before summoning.

May all Kazuha wanters become Kazuha havers!

“You two give off not only the essence of wind and earth, but also of… yes… the stars…”

The first time Kazuha felt your presence was when he met the Traveler and Paimon. He assumed the little flying child was somehow projecting her emotions to others. He expected Captain Beidou would be the one to ask. Beidou was outspoken and blunt, but that served her well as the captain of her crew. While they hadn't known each other for very long, Kazuha could already tell when she was about to say something, and refrained from making his own comments as he waited for her to speak up.

The feeling that she was ‘about to say something’ persisted up until the Traveler and Paimon left to prepare for the Crux Clash, when she finally let it out in a rush.

"Did you feel that? That weird sorta energy around those two."

"I did. It seemed to ebb and flow with the little flying one's emotions."

"You know, I tried to ask about it? But I couldn't say the words."

"Truly?" Kazuha hummed in thought. "And yet we are having no trouble discussing it now."

"Yeah. I don't like this. Why couldn't I say anything? Do you think there’s some weird magic around them? This could be bad," Beidou said. "I'm gonna ask the crew if they felt anything."

"It certainly could be," Kazuha agreed mildly as Beidou descended to the lower deck, choosing not to voice his own suspicions just yet. But when he pulled the Traveler aside to have a word with him before the final match, he found quite quickly that he disagreed with Beidou.

The more he spoke with the Traveler and Paimon, the more Kazuha felt that the presence was neither of theirs. It reacted pleasantly and kindly to his words.

"...And, not to mention your incredibly complex scent. Like that of some mysterious being," Kazuha said. He tried to elaborate - Like the mist that rises off hot pavement in the first flash of summer rains - but couldn't. He frowned, struggling with his own words internally, before he gave up and continued on. The words felt right, but he hadn’t been able to voice them. Just like Beidou.

Later that evening, something about the aura encouraged him to share his story - or maybe it was just the delayed result of Beidou pushing him to talk about his pain with others. As he spoke of Tomo's fate, keeping his voice deliberately light… he became certain that the presence was a third, separate entity. Paimon was saddened and the Traveler's expression displayed grief - but he seemed unsurprised, as if loss were an old, familiar friend and he had known what was coming the moment Kazuha began speaking.

The presence he felt hovering around them was both sad and angry. Angry on his behalf, much like Beidou had been when she took him onboard. He could feel its desire to wrap around and protect him… but it didn't. And as he felt it leave sadly with the Traveler that evening… he wondered if maybe it couldn't.

-------------

The Traveler, as it turned out, was not unaware of the presence hovering around him and his friend, because he re-introduced himself as Aether during the voyage to Inazuma.

"I saw you both struggling to say something earlier. I'm sorry I couldn't explain things then. I have someone guiding me who we can't talk about. But they've been helping me for months now - well, all of us," Aether said, gesturing at the companions he'd brought on-board.

"Uh… huh." Beidou was unimpressed. And rightly so, since she had been intending to smuggle one person across and ended up with four. "You know Thoma isn't expecting these extra people, right?" she asked.

"It'll be fine. I think? Whoever's helping us out seems to be able to hide extra people when they need to,” Aether said.

"So those emotions we felt when you were around were theirs? How does that work?" Beidou asks. Paimon made a very unimpressed looking shrug to mirror Aether’s.

"We're not sure," Aether said. "They only seem to be able to directly interact with certain vision users, but apparently everyone can feel them around. It's just, people with visions can feel them the clearest."

"You introduced yourself as [username], and yet you now say your name is Aether. Is that their name?" Kazuha asks.

"As far as we can tell," Aether says.

As they continued explaining the situation, with Paimon remaining suspiciously silent, Kazuha was glad to get the chance to talk to Aether on his own. But he also found that he missed that summer-scented mist, just a little.

------------

Kazuha felt the presence watching over him a few more times in Inazuma after that, always in association with Aether. He felt its - their - utter joy at seeing him again when the Crux crew joined the battle at Nazuchi Beach, their enthusiasm almost matching Gorou's. Aether lingered to speak with him and Beidou after the skirmish, grinning sheepishly as the conversation stretched on.

He felt them most strongly during the assault on Tenshukaku, their fear turning to such a fierce, victorious pride as he saves Aether that it left him shaking just as much as the Shogun's return strike did. Then the presence disappeared into the void with Aether, and did not come back out.

He felt them briefly as he visited Tomo's grave after all was said and done, and found he was grateful to know they were still alive. Having someone to witness his prayers at his friend's resting place - even an unknown, mysterious, otherworldly aura - helped ease his heart.

-----------

Kazuha did not feel them again until he decided on a whim to answer a commission in Liyue, three months later. They were subtly in the background as he accepted Aether's invitation to team up, and he was disappointed when he thought that would be all he'd feel of them this time. But Aether gave him a thumbs up and a wink and warned him to brace himself.

As soon as the party entered the domain, Kazuha felt their presence sweep over him. It was so much stronger than ever before that he had to stop and take a moment to breathe, though both the presence and his three companions seemed content to wait for him.

He felt the presence - felt you examining him joyfully. He got the sense that you were peering at him from every angle, and then your attention turned inward to the artifacts he'd chosen to take with him for this fight. You express vague interest and approval - had he chosen well? They were the best he had for that set - and then you were guiding the four of them forward to experience combat at your hands.

It was different from normal combat. Alien. Kazuha found that your presence came and went in flashes, directing him to use certain skills and then flitting away to one of the others. He dodged strikes he couldn't see or hear properly through the echoing fog of the domain, kept safe from blows that might have felled him by a third eye from above. But he was also hit by other attacks he could clearly see approaching in slow motion, also found himself unwilling to use Chihayaburu when he normally would.

He sensed your frustration and shame whenever this happened, and he wondered whether you were learning this as you went, too.

------------

Now, seven months later, he’s met you personally, face-fo-face. Your guidance of him as a “trial character” through two more events improved greatly since your first fumbling attempts to understand his “playstyle”, and he feels - perhaps arrogantly - that the two of you work well together. You had stuttered out something similar when you first asked for his consent to be “summoned” and used as your vessel all those months ago, and Kazuha smiles now as he recalls it.

Beidou joins him at the railing as he watches the approaching islands of the Golden Apple Archipelago and slings an arm around his shoulders companionably.

“Ya ready, kid?” she asks. “Last chance to back out. I’m sure [Y/N] wouldn’t mind.”

Beidou has been one of your vessels for a long time as well, and though she’s not the most often chosen, Kazuha has heard nothing but good from her about the experience. So he takes her words as teasing.

“I find I must disagree. [Y/N] has been quite enthusiastic about my ‘return’ these past weeks,” Kazuha says with a smile. He knows from Beidou that you’ve had the necessary materials to empower him saved for quite some time, and while you apparently aren’t yet happy with the Viridescent Venerer’s artifact set you plan to gift to him, Kazuha is certain it will be worlds better than what he was able to collect on his own.

“I haven’t the heart to disappoint. Besides, I have no other obligations. I merely wish to wander and experience the world. I can think of no better way to spend my time than to explore this world alongside someone who so clearly cares for me.”

Beidou ruffles his hair and he ducks out of her hold. “Sap. Alright, well, we’re almost there! Fix your hair before you meet [Y/N]. Can’t have you looking like you just rolled outta bed!”

Kazuha grumbles and redoes his ponytail, which Beidou was the one to ruin in the first place - but finds that he can’t maintain even a fake frown for long. He’s excited to feel your presence in his life permanently. And as he prepares to step ashore and surprise you before you “wish” for him, he hopes you are too.

#sagau #genshin sagau #sagau kazuha #kaedehara kazuha #cult au #I am guaranteed Kazuha btw #I have 190 fates saved so I'm good #just a matter of how fast he comes home

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leossmoonn · 3 years

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Unrequited Love || Part Two

masterlist | Part One

pairing - 1980’s!stefan salvatore x fem, vamp!reader

type - angst, fluff

note / request - request by anon “omg if you make a part 2 of unrequited love you could make them meet like farther in the future (in like the 80s or something) when he has his humanity on and he falls in love with her but she’s already with somebody else who’s like an asshole but she and stefan have a secret affair…. or something” hehe i love this so much!! thank you for giving me this idea :) and yes if u haven’t read the first part you will need to but i promise its worth it. and i tried to research where stefan might’ve been in the 1980s but i could’ve find anything so… sorry this is just made up lmao

summary - you and stefan meet 64 years later

warnings / includes - language, alcohol consumption, fighting, crying,, cheating, kissing, stefan stalking you lmao. lmk if i missed anything!

————

*gif isn’t mine*

stefan couldn’t stop thinking about you ever since you had left, and even when he continued to have his humanity off. once he turned it on, he felt destructive levels of pain and loss, heartbreak and anger. he tried to find you a year later when he had finally got his humanity back, but he couldn’t. apparently, you had moved out of chicago the same week he had ruined your life and tore your heart out — metaphorically speaking. it wouldn’t be until 64 years later you two would meet again in san diego, california.

“don’t stop believing! hold on to the feeling! street light, people, oooh, yeah!” you sang, jumping up and down with the crowd.

“steve perry is so hot, woo!” your sister shouted.

“you have a boyfriend, marcy!” you laughed. “gabe doesn’t have to know,” she winked.

you rolled your eyes with a laugh, turning you attention back on to journey who was ending their concert with their undeniably most famous song, ‘don’t stop believing’.

"that was awesome! i am so glad chase bailed,” marcy giggled as you both left the venue.

“yeah, i had more fun with you than i would’ve with him,” you chuckled.

“i know you wanted him here, though.” she took your hand, giving you a sympathetic smilie.

“it’s alright. we haven’t hung out in forever, anyways,” you said.

“yeah, my great-grand kids have been begging me to babysit them. apparently they do not like their own grandparents babysitting them,” marcy smirked.

“well, no offense, but you're 38 and they are in their late-50s,” you snorted.

“i know. i don’t know why they refused to be turned. being a vampire is great!” she exclaimed.

“maybe your great-grand kids will want to be vampires,” you shrugged. “i think joey wants to. he’s fourteen and he knows everything about them. not sure his mother wants him to become a “monster” or whatever,” marcy rolled her eyes.

you smiled, “maybe it’s for the best.”

“oh, please, if you didn’t become a vampire, we probably never would’ve have gotten close again.”

“it’s amazing how changing our species was what it took to bring us back together,” you snorted.

“weird how the world works,” marcy giggled.

she got out the keys to her bmw, slipping into the driver’s seat. you climbed into the passenger seat, buckling yourself in and turning on the radio.

“you want to listen to more music? we just spent three hours screaming like, 50 songs,” marcy said.

“i could always go for some cyndi lauper,” you grinned, turning up the radio and dancing in your seat.

“you’re gonna be up all night, aren’t you?” marcy raised her brow. “hopefully chase will be, too,” you giggled.

“mm, knowing him he’ll be asleep. it’s two in the morning.”

“maybe he will wake up for me,” you shrugged.

marcy bit her tongue as she thought of what to say. you sighed, knowing what she was thinking. chase was an asshole, but you loved him.

“do you think gabe is still awake?” you asked, changing the subject. “maybe. i don’t know, he might have gone out for a late-night snack,” marcy guessed. “you think he saved you anything?”

“no, he’s always been a greedy feeder,” she rolled her eyes. “kinda like you,” you smirked. she scoffed, “ i have better control than him! and you, actually.”

“excuse me?” you raised your brows. “yeah, you fed on like fifty people tonight. i only fed on ten,” she stated matter-of-factly.

i snorted, “would you like a medal?”

“yes, i would, actually,” marcy nodded with a grin.

you laughed, “i’ll give you one of the medals scotty won.”

“i think he’d want you to have that,” marcy said. “says who?” you asked.

“says like, all of our family. i never got to know him until the last five years of his life. you’re the one who helped him to breast feed.”

“yeah, he was such a difficult baby. no wonder why mom kept be for two years to take care of him,” you laughed, a little melancholy. you took marcy’s hand, squeezing it for comfort. “i told him about you all the time. he admired you a lot more than he admired me or mom, or his dad. he became a nurse because of you, even though all his friends thought that he was “girly” for being a nurse. he didn’t care. he wanted to be just like his big sister.”

marcy glanced over at you, giving him a thankful smile. “thanks, y/n. i just wish i got to know him earlier.”

you shrugged, “you had three kids and a marriage you had to pay attention to. it’s not your fault that you didn’t get to know him earlier. life just kind of got in the way.”

“yeah, well, i’m thankful you turned me so i wasn’t dead before he turned 40,” marcy chortled.

“too bad we couldn’t turn him,” you frowned. “like you said, life got in the way. it has its own path for us, and scott wasn’t meant to live forever. it’s okay,” marcy said.

“yeah,” you looked out of the window, “it’s okay.”

marcy parked outside of your home thirty minutes later.

“have fun,” marcy smiled. “i’ll try. tell gabe i said hi,” you said as you got out of the car.

“will do. i’ll talk to you tomorrow,” marcy said. “see you,” you smiled before you walked away.

you got your keys out of your purse, unlocking your front door and entering your home. all the lights were off except for the little nightlights you kept in the corners to keep soft light in your rooms.

you took off your coat and shoes, putting them in the closet. you hung up your purse on the kitchen chair, tip-toeing up the stairs to your room. you peered into your bedroom, smiling a little as you saw your boyfriend sleeping soundly. he was clutching your pillow, his nose buried in it. he wasn’t so horrible all the time.

you slipped into the room as quietly as you could. you went to your closet, taking off your clothes and slipping into your pjs. as you closed the closet, chase woke up.

“hey, baby, how was the concert?”

you turned around slowly, a little startled by his voice in the silence. “it was really fun.”

“looks like it. it’s 3 AM,” he glanced over at the clock. “i wish i could’ve gone with you.”

“well, you had the chance,” you chuckled sourly.

chase sat up in bed, sighing. “i’m sorry. i’ll go with you next time.”

“you better,” you sauntered over to him.

he turned the lamp on, smiling as you walked over to him. he held his arms out and you sat down on his lap, straddling his waist.

“did marcy call steve perry hot?” he asked. “only like, ten times,” you snorted.

“did you call anyone hot?” he questioned.

“only you,” you grinned. your eyes fluttered close as you leaned down to kiss him. a clattering sound broke you two apart. you would’ve fallen if you didn’t have excellent balance.

“what was that?” chase asked. he started to get up, but you stopped him.

you stared into his eyes, putting your hands on his shoulders. “let me check it out.”

“okay,” he nodded after a few seconds. you kissed him on the cheek, giving him a smile before you left the room.

you ran downstairs, grabbing a knife from the kitchen. although you were a vampire, an extra weapon always came in handy. you tip-toed through the downstairs, looking into the windows. it wasn’t until you got to the front door when you got startled. there was a figure outside your window. it looked like a man’s silhouette.

“who the hell is messing with me at this hour?” you grumbled to yourself. you swung the front door open, stunned to see that the man disappeared. you went outside, fear filling your chest. you had only been this afraid three times in your life. once was when marcy caught you with a boy in your room, when you got chosen to be turned into a vampire, and now. you hated the feeling of being scared, but you knew it was a normal response. just because you were a vampire didn’t mean you were invincible — kinda.

“hello?” you stepped out onto the porch. you held up the knife, ready to use it. you looked around your yard, seeing nothing but a broken flower pot. you put the end of the knife in your mouth, bending down to pick up the flower pot.

“y/n?” a familiar voice spoke.

you turned around, whipping the knife out of your mouth and holding it up. your eyes widened and you gasped as it was stefan who had been outside this whole time.

“s-stefan?” you stammered, absolutely flabbergasted.

“hey,” he offered you a warm smile.

you couldn’t believe it. 60-plus years had gone by and you had never seen him until now. he looked different. he was wearing leather and demin, his hair was unruly, and not slicked-back like how you remembered. he looked kinder and a little older, too, even though you knew he can’t age. maybe not older but wiser.

your vision was suddenly blurred, tears ran down your cheeks slowly.

“what are you doing here?” you asked.

“i finally tracked you down,” he said excitedly.

“f-finally? you’ve been trying to find me this whole time?” your chest warmed at this.

“yeah, that’s what i’ve been spending most of my time doing,” stefan confirmed.

“i’m sorry i’ve made it so hard for you to find me,” you chuckled. stefan laughed with you and shrugged. “it’s alright. love isn’t supposed to be easy.”

“l-love?” you gasped, blinking rapidly.

“yeah,” he nodded with a small smile. he walked up to you, taking the knife out of your hand and placing it onto the porch ledge. he then took your hands into his, moving closer to where you could feel his breath on your lips.

goosebumps rose up on your arm, electricity surging through your veins. you looked into his eyes, his pupils will taking up most of the space in his iris. it was the first time you had ever seen him look at you like this before. he had finally turned his humanity on.

“i know it’s still nighttime, but why don’t we go and grab some breakfast? lincoln square pancake house open at five. we can take a walk there to pass the time,” he suggested.

you smiled, “i would like that…” your voice trailed off as you saw the light in your bedroom flash on. you sighed, giving stefan a disappointed look. “i’m sorry, but i can’t. i’m with somebody.”

“what?” stefan frowned.

“yeah, he’s upstairs waiting for me,” you explained.

you took a few steps backwards, your hands slipping out of his. the warmth you two felt from each other left in an instant.

stefan turned around and looked at the window, glaring at the silhouette of chase.

“how long have you two been… together?” stefan swallowed hard.

“two months,” you answered. “you can just leave him then, right?” stefan suggested more than asked.

“i-i can’t just leave him because you came back,” you scoffed.

“why not? you two haven’t been together for that long. he won’t care.”

“that is so rude! god, what is wrong with you? i thought you had turned your humanity on?”

“i have! it’s on, i’m just… i can’t believe you are with someone!” stefan groaned. he took the knife from the ledge, throwing it at one of your flower pots.

“what the hell?” you shouted as you watched a couple of pots break.

“i can’t believe i spent all this time searching for you when you’ve been with someone all along!”

“i can’t believe you expected me to just stay alone for 60 years! you are so selfish!”

“well, maybe if you didn’t move around so much then i could’ve found you better! maybe if you tried to find me, too, then we wouldn’t be arguing right now!”

you looked at him incredulously. you didn’t think humanity-stefan would be this angry and selfish. you almost wished he had his humanity off.

“you don’t think i did that?” you asked. “you-you don’t think that i tried to search for you? i went to virginia, new york, los angeles, and even fucking texas and london to search for you!” you shouted.

“why did you stop?” he asked.

“do you not know how painful it was holding on to you? holding on to your memory, the heartache you gave me? the fact that i had to figure out how to keep myself happy and not like, kill myself after every decade of not ageing? i had to stop searching for you to move on. i had to try and fall in love with other people to move on. i did it for myself, stefan, and it is so selfish for you to think that i would wait for you and put myself through years on pain. you left me —”

“i did not leave you! you left me!” stefan cut you off.

“you left me hopeless and in love. your constant teasing, and that kiss — ugh! i cannot believe you let me kiss you. every night that i went to bed knowing that you were playing me, but you made it so hard to let go, to set boundaries. i hate you for that. i-i hated you for that,” you sobbed.

he looked at you apologetically, feeling horrible that he yelled at you. he moved closer to you, reaching out but you backed away.

“go back home, stefan,” you said quietly.

“no, y/n, wait. i’m sorry, we can talk this out. i can meet your boyfriend —”

“no,” you shook your head.

you pushed past him, going to step inside your house but he stopped you.

“does he know you’re a vampire?” he asked.

you sighed and shook your head.

“then you can just compel him to forget you! simple as that!” “i love him, okay!” you whipped around.

“how can you love him? you’ve only been together for —”

“i fell in love with you in less than a week. don’t be surprised if i love somebody i’ve been with for two months,” you got up in his face, glaring at him. you took a deep breath and stepped back, calming yourself down. “maybe i’ll see you in another 60 years.”

stefan started to cry then, too. “no, no, y/n. please, don’t go.”

“goodbye, stefan,” you sighed. you went back into your house, shutting the door. you started to sob as you turned away from the front door.

chase came downstairs, shocked to see you sobbing. he ran to you, putting his arms around you and engulfing you into a tight hug.

“what’s wrong, sweetheart? who was at the door?” he asked in a soft voice.

“n-no one,” you sniffled. you looked up at him, looking into his eyes. “no one was at the door. i am crying because i jammed my finger into the door. a cat was playing in our yard and broke our flower pots.”

he repeated your words, looking down at your finger with worried eyes. “is your finger okay?”

“yeah, you know i heal fast,” you chuckled.

he looked at your face, reaching his hand up to wipe the tears that were still falling. “it seems like it really hurt, though. do you want any ice or ibuprofen?”

“i’m afraid no human remedies could fix this type of hurt,” you muttered, looking down at your hands.

“what was that?” chase asked.

you perked up, giving him a fake smile. “ice would be good.”

“coming right up, babe,” he kissed your forehead.

“thanks,” you sighed.

you turned back to the door, peering out of the window. there was no sign of stefan. it seemed like he had left for good this time.

or so you thought.

the only place he did leave was your house. otherwise, he was all over the city, following you and appearing in the restaurants you ate, the stores you shopped at, and even outside your sister’s apartment.

you were debating about writing a restraining order, but you knew that he would just rip up the paper and kill whichever police officer registered it. you just had to send him a message without actually talking to him, which was something you never wanted to do again. and not because you didn’t want to see him, you just couldn’t.

“tommy, do not get into mammy’s things!” marcy scolded the child.

“i’m sorry,” he pouted. marcy rolled her eyes, picking him up and placing him on her hip. “it’s okay, tommy. just go and play with sissy.” she let him down and he ran into the living room.

“how can you stand so many kids?” you asked.

“there’s only two,” marcy snorted. “yeah, and they are everywhere,” you muttered.

“i’m glad i had kids before i was turned. i couldn’t imagine my life without those two buggers,” marcy grinned.

“more like you wouldn’t be alive long enough to imagine them,” you smirked.

“oh!” marcy gasped, hitting your arm. “what is up with you this week? you have been so unusually sarcastic and a little more rude than normal.”

“i’m sorry,” you sighed, “my life has just been so.. stressful.”

“talk to me,” marcy said, putting down the knife and putting her hand on your forearm.

“stefan came by the other night,” you said in a hushed voice.

marcy’s jaw dropped and her eyes bludged out of their sockets. she grabbed your upper-arm, dragging you into the dining room where no one could hear you.

“what do you mean ‘stefan came by the other night’?” she asked.

“he came to my house and broke my flower pots,” you explained. “what the — are you two back together? well, wait, you’re still with chase. he’s in the other room, so you couldn’t have broken up with him,” marcy thought out loud.

“i haven't broken up with chase… yet,” you bit your lip, looking at marcy nervously. this was the first time you had admitted to wanting stefan out loud.

“what are you thinking? did mom drop you on your head or something, and it’s finally now affecting you?” marcy scolded.

“he is everywhere, okay?” you said. “who?” marcy asked.

“stefan,” you whispered. “he has been following me everywhere and he’s even been appearing in my dreams. i… i don’t know if it’s a sign or what —”

“no, it’s not a sign. none of this is a sign. you’re only seeing him in your dreams because you are seeing him in your day-to-day life which by the way, we need to get a restraining order or something,” marcy said.

“no!” you shook your head furiously.

“why not? do you seriously still love him?” marcy judged.

“no, but i —”

“oh, you are the worst liar y/n m/n l/n. you are so in love with him!”

“am not! i was the one who told him to go away!” you lied because you hated disappointing your sister, but you knew she could see right through you anyways.

“oh, yeah? and tell me, did you dream about him that night? did you stay up all night thinking about him? ever since he's appeared in your life does kissing chase not feel the same? you don’t feel the passion, the heat you did with chase as you felt with stefan. every time chase touches you, you imagine it’s stefan. every time you come home you hope it’s to stefan. every time chase calls you ‘sweetheart’, you —”

“okay, fine! i-i love him. i’m in love with him. is that so bad?” you sighed.

“yes! he broke you. he ruined your entire life, led you on, and ripped out your heart. i don’t care how he makes you feel. it took you 15 years to get over him. you do not want to fall down that hole again.” “he has humanity on, marcy. h-he’s different now,” you defended him.

“do you even hear yourself right now?” she laughed.

“i know i sound crazy, but stefan is a hell of a lot better than chase. even you know that.” “chase can be an asshole, i agree, but you also compel him more than half the time. you can’t compel stefan to not get mad at you and do what you say. stefan is a manipulative stalker that needs to leave you the hell alone. if you aren't going to talk to him, then i will,” marcy gritted her teeth.

“marcy, please. let me figure this out on my own,” you pleaded.

“i don’t trust you to make good decisions, and neither should you. that man does something to you. it’s like he compels you to love him.”

“my feelings for him are true and i can’t deny them!” you shouted louder than you had meant to.

“you either get over him or i’ll make sure you get over him,” marcy whispered. she stormed away and back into the kitchen, continuing to make lunch.

you stayed in the dining room as you started to cry. you leaned against the wall, sobbing as quietly as you could as to not alarm anyone. you knew marcy meant well, but it hurt so much when she invalidated your feelings and didn’t trust you. all your guys’s life she has always been on the look-out for you. and although that stopped for a while when she had kids, it picked right back up once you two became close again. you appreciated her concern, but you knew what you were doing. you told stefan you were in love with chase, you told him to go away. admitting your feelings for stefan was the first step to getting over him, actually. you did it once, you were sure you could do it again.

the next few weeks were awkward for you and marcy. you two barley talked and it was weighing on you heavily. without marcy your life felt so empty. instead of walking around town, seeing the same movies in the theatres, and playing with your great-nephew and nieces, you spent your days in your house cleaning, cooking, and playing wife. you loved cleaning and cooking for chase, but you also liked going outside and shopping and hanging out with your sister. that came to an end quietly as soon as you mentioned stefan. and speaking of stefan, him stalking you didn’t get any better, either.

if he was going to ignore your boundaries then you were going to completely ignore him. although you had deep feelings for him, you were still scared that you would get hurt. you just didn’t know if you could trust him yet. but ignoring him didn’t work very well for one night. he had managed to corner you as you came out of the super market.

“talk to me, please,” stefan begged.

you stared ahead, trying to walk as fast as you could without using your vampire speed and freaking out all the humans near you.

“if you talk to me now i’ll stop bothering you.”

you couldn’t help but chuckle. that was an empty promise.

“y/n, please. sweetheart —”

“don’t call me that,” you turned around, death-staring him.

“why? because chase calls you that? we both know you told him to call you that because he is so not that type of guy to call a girl sweetheart.”

“go away! i’m trying to go home!” you groaned, turning back around and continuing to walk to your car.

“to play house wife? c’mon, y/n, we both know you’d rather be day-drinking or running through the woods with the wind in your hair.”

“you know nothing about me,” you chuckled sourly. “i know more about you than you think,” stefan said.

“how? because you’ve been stalking me, right?” you hummed.

“y-yes, but —”

“leave me alone! go back to virginia or wherever you live now,” you said.

stefan grabbed you, causing a thrill to run up your spine. he turned you around so you would face him. you collided into his chest, being as close to him as you were the night you two kissed.

“i live here now. i have lived in california for a while now, actually,” stefan stated.

“well, i know for a fact you’ve never lived in san diego because i have been all over this city,” you said.

“you’re right. i never lived in san diego until now.”

“then go back home! because of you my relationship with my sister is falling apart, i’m confused about my feelings for you and chase, and you stalking me is seriously creepy.”

“so you do have feelings for me?” he smirked.

“i knew i always would,” you nodded. “but that’s not the point, okay? you hurt me to the point where marcy had to help me get out of bed and shower. she had to help me eat and for a while, all i could think about and do was cry about you. so just spare me another heartbreak, please.”

“i know i hurt you. i’m so sorry,” stefan apologized, looking into your eyes. “you may never believe me, and that’s okay, but after i turned my humanity on i was a wreck. and even before then, i never stopped thinking about you. i never fathomed how much you would mean to me, and how much i would end up needing you. you were the one thing that kept me going. searching for you kept me going. i’m not the same man i was in the ‘20s, please believe that and give me a chance. one date is all i’m asking.”

you knew he was telling the truth. the way his eye contact didn’t once falter, how his voice sounded, the way his grip on you loosened. but you couldn’t give in, not this time.

“i believe you, but the answer’s still no,” you sighed.

“i know you compel chase and i know he fights with you a lot. if you were dating me, there would be no reason to be scared,” stefan stated.

you frowned, “i’m not scared of him.” “yes, you are. i saw how scared you were when be raised his voice at you at the restaurant for “flirting” with the waiter. he’s not good for you, y/n,” stefan sighed.

“you aren’t either,” you muttered.

“i can be if you would just let me,” he stated matter-of-factly.

you exhaled deeply, his scent filling your nose. he smelled like jasmine and leather, a little unique for a man, but you loved it nonetheless. you looked into his eyes, focusing on them. you never realized how pretty they were before. they were a deep-green, like the color of pine trees. his eyebrows were were perfectly shaped and thick. his hair was tousled, but soft-looking. he had amazing bone structure, a strong jawline and prominent cheekbones. and his lips, they looked so soft. and from you remembered, they fit perfectly against yours. you wondered if they still did.

you were leaning into him, the only thing between you now was a millimeter of space. you looked back up to his eyes, seeing the excitement and sincerity in them.

“c’mon, sweetheart. let me prove to you i have changed. one date and i’ll promise to leave you alone. you have my w —”

“yeah, okay,” you cut him off and smashed your lips onto his.

you took him by surprise, but he quickly regained composure and kissed you back. his arms wrapped around your back, pulling you flush against him. your hands went up to his neck, your fingers burying themselves in his hair. your suspicions were right, his hair was soft. the dark strands slipped through your fingers as you ruffled your hands through his locks. you grabbed a tuft of hair, pulling it gently as his tongue slipped into your mouth.

his lips fit yours perfectly, just like last time. the kiss from 60 years ago was full of tension for sure, but this one was passionate and loving. his lips moved against yours tenderly, taking their time to savor the feel and taste of you, but there was also heat in the way his tongue explored your mouth, in the way you two exhaled and inhaled deeply between each kiss.

you had never experienced this type of kiss with anyone else but him, not even chase. you knew for a fact that you were with the wrong man.

stefan was the first one to pull away, opening his eyes and grinning from ear-to-ear. “you didn’t cry this time.”

“yeah, well, i don’t think that you are messing with me this time,” you smirked.

“i’m not. i promise,” he said. “i know,” you nodded.

you sighed, giving him a sad smile. “i have to go now. chase is expecting me to make some chilli.”

“shouldn’t keep him waiting. your chilli is amazing,” stefan smiled.

“i’ll save you a bowl,” you promised. “are you saying you’re going to cook for our date?” stefan asked.

you laughed, “no. i want you to take me out.”

he nodded, “alright. deal. friday at four?”

“four? that’s kind of early,” you said. “by the time we get to our location it will be dinnertime,” he explained.

“where are we going?” you asked. “you’ll see,” he winked.

“friday at four then,” you nodded.

“i love you,” stefan kissed your cheek.

you gave him a smile in return, and he accepted that response. you loaded your car with groceries, driving back to your house. you could not wait for friday.

————

part three

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