#this took longer than planned bc my finger hurts

[wtfsteveharrington]

c l o s e t o y o u | carmen berzatto x reader

we've got so much history baby

description: set months after your breakup, you and carmen navigate what it means to be separated. you're trying to move on but waves always return to the ocean.

warnings: kinda angsty but also hurt/comfort. mutual pining even tho you're both trying to pretend it isn't there. miscommunication. kinda mentions of cheating if you squint but not really. no one has cheated but what to call this vibe irdk so! also mentions of using the bathroom if that bothers you!! it's quick!

smut warnings: oral/fingering reader receiving, spanking, dirty talk, hints of dom!carmy, unprotected sex but backshots for 'safety', sexting, semi public sex, lots of hickies/bruises talk bc carmy's a lil shit, multiple mentions of masturbation for both, reader has a drunk bar make out phase post breakup. reader is afab but no major descriptors used.

word count: almost 9.2k. the longest thing i've written so far!

a/n: dare i say this might be my favorite thing i've written possibly. aiming to make this a three part series but possibly could go longer.... i hope you enjoy <3

maybe you and i were meant to be / maybe i'm crazy

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊✮‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊

Carmen’s eyes are trained on you from the second your front door opens. His hands stalled halfway through taking off his jacket, only one shoe clattering across your entryway. 

“Where’ve you been tonight?” 

Which you have no choice but to shoot him a warning glance in response. It was late, you didn’t have the energy for a fight and that’s the complete opposite reason of why you texted him to come over. “I was on a date, Carmen.” 

He physically deflated at your answer. “Oh.”

You can’t meet his eye, can’t risk seeing his reaction. Would he be upset? Indifferent? It’s hard to decide which would be worse.

When you had broken up a few months ago the roles were clear - A case of ‘right person, wrong time’. He was busy, so endlessly busy. Working late into the night and heading in randomly during the morning or afternoon if he was needed. Which he could easily decide he was.

For as long as you could remember Carmen always took Tuesdays off to spend with you and get life in order. That way he had Monday to help the restaurant recover from the weekend and could trust them to handle what was, usually, an easier day. It was a tradition you took seriously and the two of you regularly made plans together every single Tuesday. Date nights, day trips, a mixture of adventures. It didn't matter what you were doing together so long as you had Tuesday to look forward to and help get you through the week.

Yet things started picking up. More celebrity dining requests, more magazine and tv interviews, more, more, more.

And it wasn’t that you misunderstood how important the restaurant was. Far from it. There were many nights where Carmen would come home a ball of anxiety because it took an hour longer than he anticipated and he knew it wasn’t fair to you. There would be a mess of apologies as he barreled in the door, bracing himself for a fight or to see your disappointed face. All of which you happily soothed by repeating constant mantras - The restaurant was his baby; you weren’t upset; take a deep breath; we’re okay. 

Then eventually you stopped saying you weren’t upset, stopped saying you two were okay. Eventually you stopped waiting up for him at all. At first Carmen would shower and climb into bed, confused if he should attempt to hold you or not. Your sleeping (Fine, sometimes you faked being asleep too) frame with your back turned to him. The blankets pulled tight around your body acting like a shield. 

Finally he just started sleeping on the couch. 

So yeah, the fall apart came quick. It was an avalanche neither of you could control nor did either of you want. There was still love between the two of you - But again it’s the right person, wrong time. 

You avoided each other for the following weeks. Carmen threw himself even more into work and you took a week of PTO to go visit one of your friends. He wondered if you were safe, you wondered why none of the people in the bar tasted the way he did. Your friend encouraged you with every sloppy make out conquest but it always ended there. You wanted to get Carmen out of your mind but weren’t ready for him to not be the last person who fully touched you. 

It didn’t work but does it ever?

Carmen watched your Insta far more than he should have. Risking way too many glances down at his phone during his free time to see if there were any updates about how you were doing. As if you’d post photos with long captions that mimicked a therapy session but he didn’t know where else to go. Sydney would report back what your story shows no matter how much Carm insisted he didn’t care. 

Because he didn’t, okay? He was fine. He knew it was for the best. Right? 

And then you posted a photo of yourself in a low cut top laughing in a bookstore. He zoomed in to see what titles you had in your arms as if they were clues and his eyes definitely didn’t linger on the swell of your cleavage. He didn’t think about how many nights he took for granted watching as your back arched up under him and you begged for more. He didn’t think about the way you’d crawl into bed at night and his mind would instantly rid itself of anything but you. He didn’t jack off to memories of you in the shower every morning because thinking about someone else, watching porn of other people, it didn’t feel wrong. No, that wasn’t the case at all. 

You, on the other hand, turned on Google alerts for anything relating to The Bear or Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto. Most of it was just good Yelp! ratings or fluff pieces from the local papers. He wasn’t one for posting on social media, in fact you weren’t sure he used it at all but you still posted like he was, but sometimes you’d find yourself scrolling through Sydney’s feed to see if she was giving you any crumbs. Sometimes, if you were really desperate, you’d find yourself in Richie’s feed even. It was pathetic but you can’t help it. 

One late night you came across an Instagram story post Sydney had up. Carmen leaning against a pinball machine at some gaming bar downtown. His hair was pushed back, eyes crinkled up with laughter. He looked at ease, peaceful. You wondered if anyone there felt the same… Was someone whispering to their friends and trying to build the encouragement up to go talk to him? Would he respond? 

Right, it wasn’t your place to care anymore. Yet you still cried yourself to sleep and yearned for when things felt so much easier. 

Yeah, the breakup wasn’t exactly going well. 

A few weeks ago you came across Carmen at the grocery store of all places. Both of you had gotten so used to doing the shopping Tuesday mornings and, logically, you were both comfortable going to the location just like you had been weekly for months. Your breath caught in your throat and God he looked better than you remembered. The first thing out of his mouth was, “Great sale on gouda this week.” And the only thing your brain could conjure up was, “Well that’s gouda.”

You both stayed silent for a moment before bursting out in laughter. 

Laughter turned to getting lunch around the corner. 

Lunch turned into you straddling Carmen’s waist in the car while parked in the very back corner of the parking lot and riding him until your eyes watered and you couldn’t focus long enough to keep a rhythm. He wrapped his arms, such strong arms, around your waist and fucked up into you for all that he was worth. Trying to prove himself in whatever capacity you allowed. 

If he couldn’t love you like he wanted, he could at least fuck you better than anyone else would.

Once you two broke the seal of seeing each other it was hard to stop. There was almost a forbidden aspect to your relationship now that caused a small thrill to run down your spine every time you saw him late at night. You were pretty sure no one knew you started… Seeing each other again and you were both content keeping it a secret. 

So that’s how you ended up here. Standing across from him at 11 o’clock at night on a random Wednesday. You try not to wonder if he left ‘early’ the second you reached out, instead convincing yourself that it just so happened to work out he was ready to go within minutes of you sending your ‘My place tonight?’ text during this horrific blind date your co-worker set up. 

Jonathan, 6’1, finance major turned CPA for his family’s company. He was… Fine. Just fine. You left on good terms in case you wanted to call on him for back up one lonely night. The problem was no one else was Carmen no matter how hard you tried to look for him in the people that passed by.

And there he stood across from you with hair falling into his face and his eyes looking up at you like you’re crafted from Heaven. A skirt, thin tinted tights, a shirt that exposed just enough skin but not too much. The soft shimmer across your eyelids and glossy lips from the lip balm you’ve been continuously applying since you knew he was on the way. The last time he saw you like this was when you were fighting because Carmen accidentally showed up 15 minutes past when you were supposed to leave for a birthday party at your friend’s house and that night ended with you locking him out of the bedroom while he had to pretend he couldn’t hear you crying in the next room. He really didn’t mean to be late. Sometimes the nights just got taken away from him. 

Carmen hated that you were dressed up for someone else but he pretends you just threw this on for him.

Your arms cross your chest, totally not attempting to push up your breasts, and you let out a sigh while you stare at Carmen. “This has to be the last time.” His face is stoic, a perfect poker face. The last time? Break up or not he couldn’t imagine there being a last time he saw you. Half the time he forgets, still referring to you as his partner while brushing it off and refusing to correct himself. Then there’s times where he comes home to his empty apartment and realizes you weren’t there to light the long forgotten candles on the coffee table or open up the windows to air the place out. 

He closes the space between the two of you and stares at your face. Searching for answers he’s too scared to ask for. Your resolve is breaking, cracking under the weight of having him so close. Beautiful eyes staring at you, the way he smells like the cologne you bought for your last anniversary and clean laundry. If you weren’t so drunk on the sight of him you would have put it together that Carmen kept clean clothes at the Bear to make sure he could change before he came to see you. 

You’re both silent for a moment before there’s two hands wrapping around either side of your neck and Carmen’s dragging you two together for a kiss. God, he couldn’t stand the idea of someone else kissing you. Would they even do it right? Do they know the way you moan when he licks into your mouth or the way you always grab ahold of his wrists when he cups your face? Do they know the way you forget to breathe sometimes when you’re lost in it? He’d have to pull back in order to give you a second to gasp in a rush of air. Does whoever you were with tonight know any of that? 

You pull away from Carmen with a broken out moan, silva connecting your mouths and the faint taste of cigarettes on your tongue from him. Clamping your hands on his shoulders you just faintly push the two of you apart, trying desperately to collect your thoughts. Carmen crying during the break up, sobbing in your bed, living on autopilot for weeks, the way he kisses you like he’s scared it’s the last time anymore because it very well just might be. Everything coming back to you in flashes as he stands before you once again. 

“I called you here for a reason, Carm.” His eyebrow is cocked, eyes flickering down to the bulge in his jeans that started growing the second he kissed you. “Uh - Yeah? Isn’t that what… I thought that’s what we were doing?” Carmen’s leaning in again, letting his lips connect to your neck. Warm kisses being pressed in a path up to just below your ear. “No uh, oh, remember how you let me keep the cast iron?” He hums in response, teeth nipping at your earlobe while broad hands start grabbing at your waist. “Yeah, uh huh, the cast iron skillet.” Fuck the stupid cast iron. He’s much more concerned with hooking fingers in the waistband of your skirt, attempting to pull it down while you’re fighting to stay focused. 

“Well my friends came over the other night and oh Jesus.” He’s licking a strip up your neck now, only half focused on your story. “Carm, please, they were helping me clean up and someone left it soaking in hot water overnight.” That’s finally got him freezing in place, his aroused little sounds quickly turning into a groan of annoyance. “Fuck. That ruined-… I mean, the seasoning has to be ruined. Assuming it rusted?” You nod helpless, fingers dragging along his chest while Carmen stares over your shoulder.

His eye twitches involuntarily. 

There’s a deep sigh coming from his body as he steps around you, finally kicking off his long forgotten second shoe before walking further into the apartment to head towards the kitchen. 

And listen, it wasn’t that you were necessarily concerned so much with the pan. Sure the two of you had purchased it together during the first few weeks of talking. Carmen cooked breakfast with it every Tuesday morning and showed you how to care for this damn pan. It was the closest you two came to owning a pet just… In the form of a nine inch cast iron skillet. You were more curious if he would care. A simple way of testing the waters to see if he just cared about getting laid or still cared about you. The answer should have been obvious but you still had to know.

You follow behind him and wince at the stream of expletives that easily fall from his tongue at the sight of the pan in the sink. It wasn’t horrible but wasn’t ideal. “Y’know, crazy thing is I’m pretty sure I can guess who did this. They kept trying to convince me cast iron wasn’t any different from a standard pan no matter how many times I tried convincing them that just wasn’t the case.” He’s grumbling to himself while crouching down to fish out supplies from under the sink, easily navigating your apartment from memory. The two of you had bounced between your places and talked about moving in together once his lease was up. Going as far as touring a few locations but the conversation was long forgotten once the tensions started building. 

As much as Carmen claims he didn’t see it coming, he resigned his lease almost two weeks before the break up officially happened. 

You hop up onto the counter next to the sink and watch as Carmen gets to work restoring your pan. “Think it's gonna make it through? I can't believe this is how it might end for the poor thing. All because I wanted to make your chicken piccata.” A few of his recipes had stuck with you and sometimes you find yourself making them when you’re missing him extra at night. 

“Nah, it’ll be fine. Just some surface damage s’all.” You watch as the muscles in Carmen’s arm move with the scrubbing motion, your lips itching to kiss over every exposed tattoo. Snap out of it! This is just sex between two consenting adults trying to let off some steam. That’s all. You’re both just comfortable and it would take way too much effort for someone random like Jonathan to learn what you like. 

Carmen catches you staring at him, not that you were being subtle about it, and feels heat blooming in his chest. He grabs one of your kitchen towels and gives the skillet a good pat down before sitting it upside down to dry off. It’s not perfect, not yet at least, but he’s pretty sure he’ll explode if it takes any longer to finally get his hands on you. 

“You look pretty tonight.” He’s coming to stand between your knees, reaching up to you with the hem of your skirt as you hum out a small “Thank you.” It seems like every time you see him lately you forget just how blue his eyes are. So easy to get lost in them especially from this close. Your hands come up to gently trace the features of his face. Just the ghost of a touch but Carmen’s soaking up the affection. He tilts his head in order to press a kiss to your palm. 

His hands are dragging up your thighs, feeling the material of your tights under his touch. “Know how much you hate wearing these.” Your heartbeat is picking up so much it’s making you jittery, hands wrapping around the edge of the countertop to grip it as hard as you can. Keeping yourself steady. “Help me take ‘em off?” You arch your hips up off the counter as an invitation for Carmen. He’s wasting no time grabbing ahold of the waistband and dragging them down your body, groaning to himself as inch by inch your skin gets exposed to him. 

Neither of you miss the way you press your thighs together once they’re freed, hips twitching in anticipation. The tights are getting tossed across your apartment and left to be tomorrow’s problem. Carmen falls to his knees in front of you, letting them dig into the harsh tile of your kitchen while in pursuit of making his mark on you. He’s grabbing ahold of your ankles, bringing one of your legs over his shoulder while the other is brought up to his lips. 

Your eyes fall closed as Carmen starts trailing a string of delicate kisses along the length of your calf. His lips ghosting across your knee until he reaches the fleshy part of your thigh. While your hands finally escape the countertop and find their way laced into Carmen’s hair, he wraps his lips down against your thigh to start sucking a small bruise into your skin. “Carmy,” You hiss out, “What if I see Jonathan again? How am I gonna explain these?” But you’re not pulling his head away, instead doing quite the opposite by keeping his head in place. 

Carmen practically growls against your skin, a low and guttural sound coming from the man. His grip on you tights while he mumbles against you, “Fuck Jonathan.” You scrub your fingers against his scalp as Carmen finds another patch of skin on the opposite thigh to begin sucking a bruise into. His head ducking lower and lower under your skirt, the material finally getting you to pull your hands away from him.

Against all better judgment your thighs fall more open as he works his way down your thighs. There’s a series of small moans and whimpers coming out of you with no control as he reaches the top of your thigh, his nose dragging along the cloth covering your core. “D’you wear these for him? Or did you put them on knowing you’d end up texting me.” It’s impossible to answer when you feel his tongue drag along you, your hips rocking up towards his mouth. He’s bringing his hands up under your skirt now too and grabbing handfuls of where your thighs meet your hips to hold you down in place. 

“They’re purple, aren’t they?” A color Carmen had long ago decided he liked best on you. Something about the way the color compliments your skin… In all honesty, you were pretty sure he had purchased the exact pair you were wearing. You started the night with no intention of your date getting anywhere near your bed but instead being under the frame of the man who was exactly where you wanted him. 

He guides you to scoot you closer towards the edge of the counter, making sure you’re comfortable before mouthing over you once again. Hot, open mouth kisses being pressed almost exactly where you need them. One of his hands comes around your frame to grab a handful of the fleshy part of your ass while the other hooks a finger into your underwear, pulling the material to the side to expose you. 

There’s cool air being blown against your overheated body and your hands fly back to clutch at his back, his neck, the hair that’s exposed from under your skirt. Whatever inch of him you can find is being clung to like a lifeboat. He’s kissing the skin where your thigh meets your center, lips ghosting along the outer side of your folds. It only takes a few more pathetic whimpers before he finally takes pity on you and you feel his tongue go flat at the base of your hole, dragging up long and slow all the way to your clit. 

He groans into your core and the vibrations make you start to lose your mind. “Fuck. Fuck!” Carmen’s got your clit between his lips now, bobbing his head just slightly while he goes right to sucking on the sensitive bundle of nerves. If you didn’t want to be teased then he’d give you everything you wanted. One of his hands comes up under his chin now, a finger pressing into your tight entrance as his tongue works to lap at your clit, your folds, even dipping into you whenever his finger pulls all the way out.

A second finger slides into you while his attention focuses back to making out with your clit. You can’t keep track of the way he alternates between kissing and licking at you while his fingers push in as deep as he can get them. “So good, Baby.” Baby. It comes out of you by force of habit and it makes him twitch in his boxes. If you weren’t so drunk on him you probably would have started overthinking but he’s making sure your focus is on nothing else but his mouth for now. Carmen’s chin is slick with everything you’re giving him as he eats you out as if he’s a dying man and this is his last source of solace in the world.

“C’mon Honey.” He’s cooing against you, fingers crooked just how he knows you like it. There’s sloppy licks being delivered to your clit as his fingers pump in and out. His hand finally leaves it’s grip on your ass to apply a gentle pressure to the top of your mound, pressing down against the flesh to add yet another sensation. “Can feel how tight you’re getting. You wanna come for me so bad, don’t you? Be good for me.” 

Your hands fist around Carmen’s hair, hips rocking up against him and it doesn’t take long for an orgasm to wash over your body. You seize up at the feeling, thighs clamping around Carmen’s head as he licks you through it. He’s only giving you a moment to recover when you feel his fingers slide out of your sensitive body and he can’t help but go back to licking out the mess you’ve made.

“Gonna fuckin’ kill me, Carmen.”

He’s smirking against you but taking the hint. Your thighs shaking as he pulls back from under your skirt, taking a moment to appreciate the handiwork that was the bruises covering your thighs while you take a moment to recover. The way your pussy looks so pretty covered in the mixture of your arousal and his spit. Carmen can’t help himself but to swirl his thumb around your clit, your hips jolting up as you reach out to grab ahold of his wrist. “Need a minute please.” 

Carmen nods and stands up, wasting no time making work of unbuckling his belt. You collect your thoughts well enough to start unbuttoning his jeans for him, letting your fingers linger on his jean clad hardened length. “You, uh -” You won’t meet his eye, opting instead to start pulling his pants down his toned thighs. “You still okay not using a condom?” A roundabout way of saying ‘I’m clean, are you?’. Carmen nods as if it’s the most insane question in the world. Even if he’s not with you anymore, it’s still only you for him for as long as he can see coming. “No one but you.”

You can’t meet his eye, a wave of guilt washing over you concerning your earlier date with Jonanthan that quickly gets pushed away when Carmy grabs ahold of your jaw and brings you in for a haphazard kiss. Mindless, heavenly kissing. The two of you getting lost in the way your tongues know just how to navigate one another while your hand slides into his boxes and begins lazily 

“Gotta fuck you or I’m gonna cum on your hand like a fuckin’ teenager.” You giggle into his mouth but slide yourself off the counter nonetheless. Giving him one more tender kiss before turning around to bend yourself over the counter. It’s not the most gracious process but you’re tugging your shirt over your head on the way down, pitching it somewhere else to deal with later. 

He’s looking at every inch of you. Underwear still pulled to the side, the way the lace of your bra looks against your back. Memorizing every detail he possibly can just in case you wise up and stop letting him come over to defile you like this at night. 

Carmen is dragging the head of his cock through your folds, tapping it against your clit while you whine and rut back against him. The weight of his jeans and belt resting heavy against his ankles and keeping him grounded enough to not spill his load before he even makes it inside of you. You weren’t used to taking him all the time anymore, a thought Carmen can’t dwell on, so he goes inch by inch and gives you time to adjust to the girth of him. He was thicker than anyone you’d been with before and every random hookup together lately reminds you of the first time you felt him stretch you out. 

It burns in the best way possible and he’s so tender while you get adjusted. Waiting until you start fucking yourself against his length to take that as his sign you were finally ready for him. Carmen still starts slow, a teasing pace of pulling himself nearly all the way out before sinking right back in. “Pussy’s like heaven.” It makes you oddly proud to hear him call that out. To know you still have an affect on him after all this time.

“Think about fuckin’ you all the time.” He’s picking up speed now, “Think about how good you feel stretched around me. Such a good slut for me, aren’t you? Bending over and practically begging for it.” His words, once again, make your head spin. It was a common theme with Carmen. Your fingers lace in your own hair, desperate to grab ahold of something. “Always wanting you to fuck me, Carm. Dream about how good you make me feel.” Like you two were meant to fit together perfectly. 

There’s a lewd clapping noise coming from the way your ass smacks against his frame with each deep thrust. Eventually your arms give out, torso falling flat against the shockingly still cool countertop while Carmen fucks into you for all he’s worth. A firm slap is being delivered to your ass that causes you to yelp out, rolling your hips back against him at the same time as an act of encouragement. 

His mind is taken up with how good you feel. You’re perfectly stretched around him and leaking out around his base. So wet, so beautiful, so perfect. There’s a hand sliding up your back until it’s fisting around your hair, gently tugging at it and the new sensation has these pornstar worthy moans escaping you. Your loud and needy brain is completely empty as Carmen destroys you the way he knows how. 

“D’you think about me fucking you while you were sitting across from some asshole all night? Poor little pussy almost got fucked by someone who doesn’t know how to treat it.” His words are so casually spoken with just the right amount of bite that it’s causing your brain to melt. Jonathan didn’t stand a chance of getting within two feet of your panties, just another mindless date in your series of attempted ways to ‘get over Carmen’ which clearly wasn’t going well. He bottoms out in you, every inch of his length pressed as firmly as he can into your core. It’s so much, so full and he’s got you pinned in place. Unable to do anything but be used by him, just how you both know you love to be. “Or did you go just to make me jealous? Put on your slutty little panties and went to dinner knowing you’d text me to come fuck you tonight.” 

He’s grinding his hips into you on the impossible quest to get even deeper. It’s possessive, claiming, and you’d probably even be a little annoyed by his behavior if you were in a better state of mind. For now you’re bent over the counter with bruises blooming all over your thighs and enjoying an odd jealous streak coming from someone who, technically, has no right to be jealous. It’s making you feel dizzy and your heart throb and your pussy clenching around him. “You gonna keep talking or you gonna fuck me, Carm? ‘Cause if not I’ll call him to finish the job.” 

You liked riling him up. 

Another sharp smack is being dealt to your ass when Carmen starts to pick the pace back up. His hands are tight on your hips and his pace is brutal. There’s grunts coming from behind you that are making your head spin and if you were more coherent you’d be a bit more embarrassed about the drool sliding from the corner of your mouth as your boyfrie-….. Well, as Carmen takes care of you. He’s admiring the bloom of his handprint on your skin, brushing his hand along it before pressing firmly down to help soothe the buzzing sting of pain. 

He wasn’t fucking you as often, didn’t have you nearly as well trained anymore. These bi-weekly meetings are not doing nearly enough for your body. He used to be able to fuck you right through an orgasm and you’d keep going. So used to him working your oversensitive clit to his liking. Now you whine while grabbing his wrist and whimper out pleas for him to give you a few minutes. He hates not knowing your body as well as he used to even if he still knows you pretty damn well.

So when he feels you getting closer, he’s taking note. Keeping his pace exactly the same and letting his hand crash down against the tender flesh of your ass again. “You gonna give me another? C’mon, Honey. Can feel how bad you need it.” And you do. God you need every orgasm you’re lucky enough to get from him. 

Your hips buck and twitch and you let out a series of uncontrolled moans as your orgasm starts to wash over your body. If Carmen wasn’t between your legs then your thighs would have snapped shut while your toes curled and your heart started beating faster. You could practically hear it beating in your own ears. “S’good, so good. Thank you, thank you. Shit, thank you.” A mess but you couldn’t judge yourself. 

Carmen’s pulling out when he’s close after just a few more strokes, frantically jerking off his length to keep the sensation going. You’re rolling your hips back and riding out the waves of your own orgasm, glancing back over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of Carmen with his head tossed back and brows knitted together in concentration. “Come on me, Baby. Wanna feel every drip on my skin. Maybe I’ll let you take a picture of it dripping down all the pretty bruises you gave me.” 

That’s all it takes for him to come undone. Warm spurts of cum landing along your back, your thighs, some of it dripping down your folds. The feeling is pulling wanton moans from your mouth that send Carmen into orbit. God, he doesn’t want to come back down to Earth. Collecting his breath and trying to keep himself upright while the aftershocks of his orgasm wrack through his body. How was he supposed to stay away from you when it felt like this? Especially when you just kept calling him baby.

He stopped cumming inside of you since the breakup. It made sense, kinda. But you hated it. Felt like a waste even though you wouldn’t overstep and ask for him to go back to finishing inside of you. He would, by the way. Without a second thought he’d bury himself in until he couldn’t go any further and fuck his cum into you as deep as possible. 

You feel a finger swiping up some of his cum off your backside and soon enough it’s pressed to your lips. Without a second thought you take the digit into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it while licking him clean. He wants some of it inside of you one way or another. A subtle way of still putting his claim on you.

The two of you take a moment to recover after Carmen pops his finger out of your mouth. His hands are running a circuit up and down the side of your thighs and torso, still enjoying the view of your body relaxed against the counter in front of him. The tile was starting to become painful as your stomach bent over it but you couldn’t bring yourself to move just yet. You didn’t fully trust your legs to support your weight without the counter for support. 

Carmen’s rustling around behind you now. Reaching down to pull up just his boxes but kick his jeans the rest of the way off finally. He’s not ready for the stimulation of such a heavy material against his sensitive skin yet. There’s a clattering from the sink area as he retrieves another towel to get wet for you and a cup to fill with water. Your eyes feel heavy. Mind’s at ease having Carmen around again, not that you’ll admit it, and your body feeling languid after being fucked so well. 

There’s a glass of water being sat in front of you. “Drink.” So you prop yourself up on your elbows and nurse small sips of the water while the cool rag gets to work wiping down your backside from the mess he made. His fingers ghost along the tender flesh of your ass where he was spanking, “Feeling alright?” You hum into the cup, giving him a small waggle of your behind to reassure any concerns he had. 

He gets you cleaned up in silence, letting the both of you enjoy the simple moment. Carmen always prided himself on taking care of you. There’s warm hands, still damp from cleaning you up, rubbing up the sides of your torso before wrapping around the tops of your shoulders. His hips rub along your backside and you just feel so warm, so safe like this. “We gotta get you to bed.”

You just sigh and scrub your hands over your face. A beat of silence passes while you collect your thoughts. “Carm, I don’t think I can stand up.” Your legs are still slightly shaking and your mind has yet to catch up with your body. 

Laughter’s coming from behind you as he delivers a playful swat to your ass. “C’mon I’ll get you there.” This feels so simple. You find yourself questioning why the two of you even broke up to begin with when the good moments were this good. Easy, content, safe. Would you ever be able to find this again? Would he? 

He’s grabbing ahold of your waist while pulling you back into his chest. Your head falls back against his shoulder and Carmen allows his lips to once again find your exposed neck. A series of gentle kisses being placed as his arms snake tighter around your body. “Still feeling okay?” You let out a content hum and allow yourself to be held by him. “Feel better than I have all week. Thank you, Carm.” You feel him smile against your skin as he places another delicate kiss. “Always.”

The two of you stay intertwined until Carmen starts to encourage the shuffle towards your bedroom. He makes sure you get cleaned up and ready for bed. Brings you one of your sleep shirts while you brush your teeth and tries to not overthink when you offer him a toothbrush of his own because you just so happened to have an extra. Gives you privacy when you complain about needing to pee and you find it odd there’s a tug at your chest when he ducked out of the room. Part of you hated being that couple who left the door open or used the restroom while the other showered, yadda yadda. It was a sign of comfort and the door being pulled shut behind Carmen was a sign that comfort was long gone. 

Not that you cared. Totally didn’t care at all. 

He’s going to just tuck you in at first until you’re clutching at his frame and pulling him into bed next to you. Carmen never could say no when it came to you, especially when he feels his back sinking into your soft bed and your warm body curling up along his side. He should go. Get home before it’s too late and try to get some sleep. He’s already planning on getting to work early to avoid having too much free time to think about tonight in detail. 

But his clothes feel so far away and the long day is starting to finally hit him. You can practically hear him thinking over his options and your breathing starts skipping as you feel him begin to pull away. 

“Carmen.” Your grip on his chest tightens and it pulls directly at his heart. Since this whole… Situation started he never stayed the night when your meetings would run this late. Always picking his clothes up out of piles on the floor and mumbling something about needing to get home to get stuff together from work. You never asked him to stay anyway. Neither of you knew if that would make an already weird and complicated situation even worse. 

But tonight was different. 

There were hints of a storm in the distance you start telling yourself. If you focused you could hear thunder, somewhere, out there and you just wanted Carmen safe for his sake. That’s all. So you pathetically cling to him and hope you don’t kick yourself out of embarrassment in the morning. It takes just a moment of him looking down at you to understand what you can’t say and he’s giving you a little nod in response. His arms wrap around your shoulders, leaning in to press a kiss to the top of your head. Kissing every inch of you had to be one of his greatest pleasures in life.

“Remind me to season that skillet in the morning.” 

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊✮‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊

Carmen, shockingly, sleeps through the night. The warmth of your body next to him coupled with your excellent sleeping experience. A comfortable bed with good pillows, a white noise machine in the corner of your room (the ice maker in the fridge at Carmy’s would constantly go off so you got used to sleeping with background noise to cover it up), it was the best night of rest he’s had in months.

Your sheets smell like home. 

He’s slowly waking up now and his first thought is how much he misses the weight of your breast in his hand. Second thought is how much he needs to pee but damn your bed is comfortable. 

Carmen allows his body to wake up slowly. Stretching his arms out above his head and letting out a satisfied grunt at the feeling of his well rested muscles. Blinking his eyes awake just enough to take in the sight of all the trinkets and items that covered your space. There’s some things he notices that he knows for a fact he purchased you. Bottles of perfume, books you keep telling yourself you need to read, cups you constantly forget to bring back into the kitchen until you’re fully out of them.

Did you keep any of the pictures? Photo strips from Navy Pier and the holiday market at Wrigley Field. Everything from the disposable camera you brought along on road trips and vacations. The polaroids that once littered a cork board in your living room that the two of you added pictures to so often. If he looked around enough would he find them tucked away safely in a box or did you pitch them when you knew the two of you were through. 

Carmen still has one. You took most of them while you packed up your things from his place and refused to let him carry any of the boxes downstairs. So stubborn, so full of hurt pride. He just spent most of the day trying to stand out of your way but always available in case you finally admitted that you needed help. Maybe a small part of him hoped that as you packed up so many memories it would trigger a ‘What are we doing?’ reaction and you’d go running into his arms. 

You never did. 

But you did take one trip down to your car with an overstuffed Ikea bag over your shoulder and balancing a box on your hip. Carmen knew he didn’t have long, and it kind of felt like stealing, but he rushed over to the box you just started packing up and rifles through the photos as fast as he possibly could. It took a moment of digging before there it was. A polaroid photo someone took of the two of you on New Year’s Eve. You’re wearing some cheesy headband and he has those tacky sunglasses on that show off the incoming year on them. His arms are wrapped low around your waist as he stands behind you, one of your hands resting on top of his while the other is reaching up and back to cup his jaw. You’re both grinning and laughing in the photos and nothing bad has happened yet. 

He hears you shuffling back up the stairs so he’s quickly throwing the box back together after sliding the photo into his pocket and rushing back to stand in the kitchen. Acting like nothing was happening. You didn’t even look over at him so it wasn’t like he had to put up much of a show anway.

It’s still safely tucked into his wallet. 

The sound of the front door opening and hushed whispers are finally pulling him from his half asleep, reflective state. It looks like this day is getting started if he wants it to or not. He’s tilting his head to press it into the pillow underneath him, allowing one last deep inhale to remind himself exactly what your scent smells like before forcing his body to be pushed out of your bed.

Carmen turns the corner in just his boxer briefs and you’re not convinced you aren’t still dreaming because fuck he looks good. His hair’s a mess from the combination of you playing with it all night and him sleeping so well. One of his hands is scratching low on his hips while he takes in the sight of you in the kitchen. 

Maybe he shouldn’t be so comfortable walking around your apartment half dressed still but God is this relationship situation getting messier since the day since the two of you reconnected.

“Ordered some breakfast from Yolk. Figured you were hungry and I’m sure you have to run off this morning but I uh-…. I just wanted to make sure you were fed.” You nod to yourself. Giving him an out as you start popping open food boxes. There was just over an hour until you had to get to work too so there were multiple excuses possible for this morning to end as early as it needed to. 

In an odd, roundabout, time to head back to therapy kind of way it almost feels like you’re dating your ex. 

“Yeah.” He nods to himself and desperately wishes he had deodorant, cologne, fuck even Axe body spray. Something to make himself smell better or feel more presentable for you. “Richie actually tried installing fuckin’ bidets to the toilets last night. Kept on running his mouth about how prestigious they are and he, obviously, doesn’t know how to install bidets. So the bathrooms are a little-“ He waves his hands through the air.

“Shitty?” 

Second questionable pun you’ve made lately. Pull it together. 

There’s a breathy little laugh coming out, “Yeah, shitty.” Carmen’s peeking over your shoulder as you plate up breakfast, sneaking a piece of bacon from under your arm before pressing a kiss to the top of your ear. “Thank you for ordering this.” 

You nod and try to pretend you didn’t stop breathing having him so close to you under the soft morning light. 

He leaves $60 tucked under a vase on your dining table to cover breakfast. 

————

11:52 am

[DO NOT ANSWER]: Richie put his foot down and we’re stuck getting the bidets 

[DO NOT ANSWER]: If you’re wondering how my day is going 

12:17 pm

Shockingly my day is much less toilet related. I hope it’s going well. 

4:39 pm 

[DO NOT ANSWER]: I know so much about bathrooms now

————

You laugh a little too loud as the alert illuminates your phone. There’s a fond tugging at your heart as the ‘normal’ conversations fills your chat history instead of the short “My place tn” or “I still can’t find my jacket. You have to have it”. Maybe saving him as do not answer seemed too harsh but having his contact show up as a photo of you two cuddled up with the Chicago skyline in the background, an innocent and horrifically cheesy “Baby Boy 💙” contact name modeled after Richie saying you baby him too much one night. Every time it flashed across your screen and Richie saw he gave you guys an endless amount of shit. It became a constant bit that none of you got tired of at the time. 

You were trying to separate yourself from your past with him as much as possible at first but now those lines just keep getting more and more blurred. 

One of your coworkers grabs your attention away from your phone thus leaving Carmen’s message on read. He tries to pretend it doesn’t bother him as he gets to work prepping for tonight’s service. Who wants to talk about bathrooms with their… Fuck buddy? Ex? God that’s still so weird to say. 

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊✮‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊

Your mind was haunted by thoughts of Carmen Berzatto all day. 

No matter how many busy tasks you assigned yourself he always seemed to creep back in. You’d look around for him when a joke landed well at work and the group you were with erupted into laughter. Could easily picture his head thrown back as he scrubs over his face in an attempt to muffle the sound. When you were standing alone your mind wandered off to the way he treated you last night. So claiming. Expertly working your body the way only he could after so much time of getting to know it. 

The bed feels so much 

You throw the blanket away from your frame and watch as it bundles up beside you. Is this crazy? It feels crazy. You shake out the nerves, fluffing up your shorts and primping yourself for the photo. It takes one, two, seven pictures to get just the right angle. An image of your thighs against the bedding and your oversized sleep shorts bunched up all the way down your legs. Taking a deep breath you steel your spine and pull up Carmen’s contact.

————

11:28 pm 

Headed to bed 

ONE IMAGE ATTACHED

11:29 pm 

[DO NOT ANSWER]: Fuck.

11:31 pm

Goodnight Carmen <3

2:12 am

[DO NOT ANSWER]: Can’t stop thinking about you 

ONE VIDEO ATTACHED

————

The sun is warm against your skin as it slowly wakes you up. There’s an air purifier rattling in the corner that acts half as white noise while you sleep, half to soak up the smells of Chicago. Sometimes when Carmen’s especially exhausted you have to bring out the big boy and ask your Google home to play sleep sounds to mask him snoring all night. You typically didn’t mind the sound, knowing it’s a sign of just how badly he needed a good night’s rest. 

You’re fishing your phone out of the comforter in a haste to click off the horrific sound of the alarm and your eyes are barely open when you see the alert. A preview image popping up and you can just barely a blurry image of - “Holy fuck!” 

Your free hand flies up to clamp over your mouth as a mix of gasps and ‘no fucking way’ come out of you with zero control. With shaking hands you open up the video, half tempted to pinch yourself with a video of Carmen fills your screen. His hand rubbing over the bulge in his boxers and there’s a mess of shaky breathing coming from behind the phone. You can’t get the volume turned all the way up fast enough and you’re terrified to miss a single sound. 

And there he is. 

Fishing his cock out of his boxers and stroking himself for you. Illuminated by the lamp on his bedside table and his hand over lubricated to mimic how wet you get for him. He’s a mess of filthy moans, bucking hips, are you dreaming? 

The combination of the sun beating in and the way this video is making your body go hot is too much. You’re overheating, kicking the blankets away from you while your hand goes into your shorts on instinct. Toying with your clit even though you don’t have much time to spare as you watch Carmen get off for you.

————

8:04 am

HEART REACTED TO A VIDEO

Mine tonight?

Fuck you sound so good

Wish I would have been there to clean you up

Say my name more next time please

How am I supposed to go to work now 

————

No response. You aren’t surprised, he’s typically busy in the morning. 

So you go along your day and let yourself enjoy the thought of Carmen coming back over tonight to take care of you. You had thought letting him back in was a risky move but things seemed fine so far. Settling into the new version of what normal was going to look like. Maybe things would end up being some version of alright after all. 

A chirp from your phone catches your attention and you’re instantly uninvested in whatever task was at hand. It might be a little pathetic how excited you were but that is besides the point. 

————

10:32 am 

[CARMEN]: Busy tonight

————

Busy tonight? Go fuck yourself Carmen! 

You waited all morning and THAT’S the response you get? Were the multiple texts too much? Did you come off too clingy? Sure he just stayed the night, was two times in one week where he drew the line? 

So you leave him on read and take away the heart from his video. Change his name back to DO NOT ANSWER and instantly feel the urge to get off tonight leaving your body. Replaced by a subtle anger that only he can bring out of you. 

The workday seems to go by so much quicker as you have this internal argument with yourself and mentally pick a battle with Carmen. Maybe you were silly to think things would… What? Go back to the way they were? No, of course not. 

Ugh!

Carmen who, by the way, truly was slammed. Got stuck hosting an event for an old family friend that he barely knew but was convinced it’d be good for business. He’s overwhelmed by work and anxious with his relationship with you. The breakup was horrific. One of the worst things he’s had to experience so far which certainly says a lot. At the very least - It made sense. This though? Sleeping together, fucking when you have shitty dates and he’s your second choice for the night, taking pictures of dumb things he sees during the day because it made him think of you but never actually sending them, it made zero sense.

If only there was something the two of you could do to figure this whole mess out. 

But alas.

You bring home a salad that’s far healthier than anything you’ve eaten all week accompanied by some fresh pressed green juice nonsense you lie to yourself and mentally say is delicious. The boy detox starts now. 

The shower you take that night must last an hour. Every inch of your body gets scrubbed, your face and hair both get a mixture of treatments and masks. You primp and polish yourself up and convince yourself that this is all for you and not so you look better than ever and Carmen will have to regret his stupid and shitty ‘Busy tonight’ text because you were also just like so, so busy and -

Fuck Carmen Berzatto. 

You decide you could go the rest of your life without hearing from him and be just fine. It was his loss. You’re funny, beautiful, and excellent in the bedroom. There’s thousands of people out there dreaming about finding someone like you!

This internal argument keeps going. And you know what’s annoying? The second you fling yourself into bed you realize he left his scent all over your sheets still. It hasn’t gone away - Cologne mixed with Carmen. And you 100% aren’t hunting out the scent nor are you hunting out a reason to stay annoyed with him. Not at all. So you get back out of bed and grab the fabric freshener to spray your sheets back down with, giving it a minute to dry before falling face first into the mattress with an annoyed huff. 

So yeah, fuck him. You hope you never hear from him again and toss your phone on the other side of the bed. Forcing your eyes shut and making your mind go blank because otherwise you’ll stew all night thus continuing this Carmen induced spiral. 

————

1:47 am

[DO NOT ANSWER]: Hey

————

Fuck.

[divine-misfortune]

cancelling the rest of my plans for the day bc your fleshlight post about phantom has me on the floor and I can NOT get up

The post in question :))

Dew stares up at him through those pale eyelashes. A look that could have been soft, innocent. Should have been. No, Dew was watching him with the attentiveness of a hungry dog despite everything else about him being relaxed. At ease. Something Phantom was far from.

Face still colored with humiliation, Dew only sought to deepen the violet in his cheeks - he wanted his embarrassment to be vivid, the closest thing to tangible he could get.

The fire ghoul kept his fingers curled around the hard plastic regardless of his little mewls of protest. Slowly rocking it back and forth, just enough to tug at his knot (but more so to remind him of how pathetic it was to be trapped in fucking fleshlight) and let a little bit of his cum dribble out. There had been the beginnings of a wet spot on the front of his pants to begin with, a little overzealous with lube, but it was growing to become far more noticeable.

Dew smiled up at him with the faintest hint of teeth as Phantom's nails dug into the couch cushions, another sound of objection starting to bubble up but Dew hushed him before it found its way to the surface.

"Just helping bug," he shifted onto his knees. "Wanna make sure you're properly taken care of."

His pale hair slipped from where it had been tucked behind his ear as he dipped his head, forked tongue flicking out to grace where skin and silicone met. Phantom screwed his eyes shut and tried not to buck upwards at the warmth of Dew's exhale. Breath audibly hitching when he was given more, he didn't know if it was too much or not enough. It was something and he couldn't wrap his mind around it, or anything for that matter. His brain was still fuzzy, had been since he'd first popped the head of his cock into the toy now serving as a means of torture, but Dew was steadily pushing him towards having straight up static in his skull with every little movement.

When Dew kissed over his sack in an oddly sweet gesture before taking one of his balls into his mouth, it was decidedly too much. Phantom sounded wounded with his cry and Dew let out a pleased sound in response. Little vibrations to accompany the languid caress of his tongue and Phantom's eyes were nearly crossing.

"Dew - Dew, fuck, you gotta-"

He pulled off with a satisfying pop that left the little ghoul sagging into the couch.

"I know baby, i know" the sympathy in his voice was just honey masking the medicine. "Your balls still feel so full, must hurt so bad."

"Wh..." he blinked slowly, brows drawing together.

Dew tutted at him and got off the floor, finding a new home straddling his lap. Phantom couldn't help that his hands automatically went to place on his waist, his blind obedience earned him a soft chuckle. Holding the toy steady in one hand, the other came to cup his jaw and turn his face upwards before Dew kissed him.

It was no longer a gentle push towards that far away headspace, more like a full-on shove when Dew's tongue slipped into his mouth. He could taste himself, kinda salty but heady all the same, mixed with something floral lingering in the other ghoul's mouth. Kinda reminded him of Mountain's breakfast teas. Familiar and the last solid thing he could hope to latch onto to not slip entirely, but that lasted as long as it took for Dew to start shifting the toy again.

Phantom moaned into his mouth, allowing Dew to lick that much deeper. There was a bit more give to the toy now, his knot deflating slowly, slower than he'd like but too quick for Dew's liking.

He pulled back and Phantom found himself sitting there with his tongue lolling out of his mouth, fixated on the string of saliva connecting them up until it broke.

"Gonna help you feel good," Dew's thumb stroked his jaw. "Make my good boy feel good, doesn't that sound nice?"

"But...'M sensitive."

"Just sensitive cause you didn't do a good enough job, silly boy."

"I-I didn't?"

Dew shook his head and tsked. Phantom's ears pinned back at his apparent disappointment but still twitched at the slick sound of the fleshlight stroking over him. The immediate discomfort of overstimulation felt further off but still around the corner, it wouldn't take much for the pinpricks of agonizing pleasure to dig into him again.

"I'm just gonna take care of you, get that knot nice and fat so nothing spills out."

His eyes fluttered when Dew's thumb pushed between his lips, heavy head dropping against the back of the couch with a groan. Dew had found an unfortunately efficient motion. Like a more complicated handjob in a way, stroking, twisting as soon as he felt resistance to his pull. Effectively milking him for everything he had - and Dew planned on taking everything he had to give. He could feel the last of the blood in his head rushing towards his cock. Traitorously staying fat and continuing to ache, his knot threatening to swell again, Dew had more control of his body than he did.

"Wanna see you fuck this pretty little pussy full."

[scekrex]

Hello, do you think we could get a part two to "I don't want you to hate me, no, I want you to wanna hate me" where the reader maybe ends up in heaven, but he ignores Adam when they meet because he's still upset about what happened in hell?

Sorry if this is confusing, I'm not experienced in writing or requesting things😭😭

I got ya homeboy, part two coming it hot n steamy

Part 1

You've built yourself a grave inside my head

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, hurt/no comfort (kinda)

note: not beta read bc fuck you

“What is he doing here?” you hissed at the seraphim angel in front of you, your index finger angrily pointing at Adam who had just entered her office. The brunette froze at the sight of you. He had not been prepared to come back from extermination day to see you out of all the sinners down there in Heaven - let alone Sera’s office.

The straw of the drink he had gotten on his way to Sera rested against his bottom lip as he tried to come up with the right words. Were there even right words for him to say? Was he supposed to apologize? No, scratch that, he would not apologize for something that clearly wasn’t his fault at all. You had been the one who hadn’t acted according to plan and Lute had been the one who killed you - all he had tried was to keep you safe and protected, it was not his fault that his white haired lieutenant had followed him.

But there you were, looking so divine in white, the halo floating above your head complimented your hair, the wings which were covered in white feathers just finished the picture. Said wings were fluffed up to make you appear bigger, broader than you were in reality, they were also underlining the rage you felt. Rage towards Adam who had left you to die. If he would have stayed, if he would have done something - anything - you wouldn’t have died only hours ago. To the hands of his oh so beloved lieutenant. But the first man had left you, you had died alone in the cold, open streets of Hell’s pride ring. It had been painful, physically and emotionally.

“Y/N?” the first man asked quietly and that caught Sera’s attention. The seraphim’s curious eyes landed on Adam, her facial expression made it obvious that there was a question resting on her tongue, ready to be spoken but she remained quiet for a little longer, why the brunette did not know. Instead of finally asking that question she seemed to want to keep a secret for even longer, she answered your question, “Adam is here because we have a meeting today, however he arrived earlier than expected.”

You shook your head almost violently, not liking the answer she just gave you, “I know who he is and I know that he just came back from Hell, it’s extermination day Sera, I am aware of that.” The gigantic seraphim angel looked down at you nervously, her eyes switched from you to the taller male in the room, not quite understanding how you knew. “Lute killed him,” Adam’s voice was nothing more than a whisper and even through his mask you were able to see the disbelief that was written all over his face.

It was only then that Sera realized that you were not a human that had died but a sinner. The tall woman’s eyes widened in shock as she took a step back from you, trying her best to not make her disgust too obvious - you had other things to care about than her opinion on you though. Angrily you took a step towards Adam, the first man was clueless about what was to come so he stood still. He did not flinch away when you got all up in his face, he didn’t stumble when you tried to shove him away.

“You left me,” your voice was filled with agony, it sounded like your vocal cords were about to tear apart. You felt betrayed. The one you had loved the most was responsible for your death, he had been the one to even alert Lute about your presence in the first place and he had been the one who had left you to bleed out all alone. He had left you in your darkest hour, there had been no last glance, no sorry, no I love you. The brunette had simply left you without looking back and due to the visible surprise mixed with shock and guilt, he had not expected his actions to have any consequences.

“You saw what that whore did to me and still left,” tears started to well up in your eyes as you angrily grabbed the first man’s shoulders and shook him. The only true effect that had was that Adam dropped his milkshake. His body felt limp in your hands and the blank expression on his face only let you assume that he had zoned out. “I died alone Adam, you always told me that the only thing you don’t want to happen is to die alone again - you did to me what you never want to happen to you again,” your nails dug into his skin as you desperately tried to get a reaction from the first man, but there was no real use. He would not apologize, that you were quite sure about. But you wanted him to say something - anything.

“You know the pain of dying alone and yet you let it happen to me,” your voice was giving out, the sobs ate your words up like it was their favorite meal as tears streamed down your face. Your cheeks were covered in a golden flush, the tip of your nose was shimmering golden too - divine golden blood was flowing through your veins now which caused your blush to appear golden instead of the normal red you were so used to.

“I fucking know, okay?” was the first thing Adam said to any of the things you had just thrown at him. But instead of calling you down, his words caused the anger inside of you to boil even hotter. He knew - of course he knew. Yet it did not change the fact that he left you - that he had drawn Lute’s attention onto you in the first place. And the only clear thought your brain could form was,

“You’re the only reason why I died today.”

[dustteller]

I've been working on a fix-it fanfic this weekend bc I think our protagonists deserve happiness (well, they don't, but I want them to be, ok??). Here's the first scene I've written as a sneak peak! (And also a summary of wtf is going on, bc otherwise the scene makes no sense)

She Who Became The Sun AU were Ouyang didn't get the chance to kill Chaghan, and as a result, his plans took longer to unfold. This gives them time for 1) Esen to process his disilusionment with his father and start realizing how shitty he is, 2) Wang Baoxiang tries to be petty and pissed at Esen and basically just tells him how uncomfortable he makes Ouyang sometimes. This backfires spectacularly. Baoxiang will never forgive himself for being the one that got Ouyang a relationship. 3) Esen gets to actually see Ouyang start spiraling, and 4) Esen finally realizing and coming to terms with his own dumbassery. I genuinely believe he was getting there in canon, his father's death just derailed the impending development. With more time and pressure I think both he and Ouyang would have managed to truly become the cringefail couple they were meant to be.

Esen and Ouyang scene below the cut!

“Please, Ouyang,” Esen grasped at Ouyang’s hands with a hollow hunger that Ouyang had never seen in his lord before.

And then, he did the unthinkable:

“I’m sorry.”

Esen lowered himself, debased himself, let his knees touch the ground before Ouyang’s feet, and as he stared up, as Ouyang’s vision swam and almost blacked out at the wrongness of it, he apologized.

“I’m sorry. Please, I’m so sorry.”

Ouyang collapsed. He crumpled to the ground, undone.

Or perhaps, it was better to say that something inside him gave way, and like a building on fire being ravaged from the inside, his foundations and walls turned to ash under him and, unable to keep himself upright, he folded into the fires below.

Esen met his blank stare with a squeeze of a hand, Ouyang’s hand.

“I’ve failed you. I called you my general, and still I have been so careless with you. I never thought about it, but I’ve been hurting you this whole time, and you never let it show- No, I never realized. It’s all my fault. I’m sorry.” 

It was easier to stare at Esen now that they were both on the floor. Ouyang was still shorter than him, here, still had to look up to avoid his gaze and only had to look forwards to avoid it.

It all still felt wrong. It was the certainty that this scene had never been written out, was never meant to happen. He could feel it, trapped behind his eyes and as cold as the steppes in winter.

And yet, a rage long-repressed rose up within him still.

“How dare you.”

Esen’s molten-gold hands could still tighten around his, Ouyang found out.

“Why now? Why? After so many years, why do you care now?”

Why were his tears cold, on his cheek, when he had caught ablaze with impotent rage? Even as he yelled, he knew there was no bite behind his words, not for Esen. Perhaps only for his own tounge.

“I care about you.”

“You’re not meant to. Not like this.”

“I do. I want to fix this, fix us.”

“I’m a thing. I belong to you, you can’t apologize, not like this.  This isn’t how it’s meant to happen.”

“Ouyang,” and Esen, sweet Esen, who had not once commanded him, brushed his chin softly with his fingers. It was only the barest touch, but Ouyang’s eyes snapped up, as if he had been waiting for permission, “It already has. I want to hear you. Tell me why you won’t allow yourself to accept this.”

“I’m just your general.” Ouyang muttered as Esen’s thumb sizzled away his tears. 

And then Esen pulled Ouyang towards him by his collar, until his cheek was pressed against the crown of his head and his white-hot hands branded his nape and back. 

“Exactly. There is no one in the world I trust half as much as you, no one else I want by my side. I've told you before, you're my best friend, my general. You've always done me proud. Please, let me in. I want to help you be as happy as you've made me."

And as Ouyang sat there, his forehead pressed against his lord’s shoulder, he closed his eyes and let himself sob out all the cold that remained behind his eyes. 

And at last Ouyang lets himself burn.

[puppy-phum]

Hello Vish! Congratulations on your milestone. Thank you for creating and sharing all your beautiful edits with us, I really love and enjoy seeing them on my dash. I hope I'm not too late for sending you prompts. I have several of them because I'm not really good at choosing a show/pairing + text combination, so I'm not sure if these will work but I'm just going to try. Please feel free to choose whichever combination that meets your interest, or just ignore them if you think they're not something you prefer to do.

1) The Eclipse (AkkAyan) + Quotes from George Orwell, 1984: (a) “Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.” or (b) “If you loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still gave him love.” or (c) “We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.”

2) Enchanté (AkkTheo) + Quotes from Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince: (a) “And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” or (b) “It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”

I hope one of these combinations works for you, if not, that's okay too :) Thank you, and I hope you have a lovely day! 💜

hello april ♥ thank you for all your lovely words and the prompts ^^ i've enjoyed them and i'm so very happy to have you here! i knew ever since i received this ask that i'd go for one of the akktheo prompts you gifted me. i adored enchante and never got to make any edits for it before, so i wanted to try. both quotes were lovely, but for some reason, i got stuck on the rose.

here's what i came up with

i hope you enjoy the edit ♥ have a wonderful rest of your week!

(some extra rambles under the cut!)

so i didn't have a very definite plan for this edit, other than that i wanted this to work as some type of "bookmark" visually. as the little prince is, well, a book and they tie akktheo's journey with the said book very tightly, i wanted this bookmark to work as their timeline? does this make sense? i hope it does haha.

the rose travels with them through their relationship ever since it first appears before akktheo's first kiss. this made me think about the "time wasted for your rose" as they both kind of... idk. they both waste time on each other and figuring out this thing between them. but they willingly do it. every time, it's time willingly given away. that wasted time, it matters to them.

so i wanted the rose to just appear a lot in this edit. to be present and show these changes in their relationship. how it all starts with a little spark, in an unlikely place, and grows despite the hard circumstances (within theo as he guards it by himself for a long while). then it finally gets a home as akk starts discovering his own feelings and accepts them.

then akk moves the rose to theo's care, thinking it will be better off there. i took this as a way of akk giving his heart away. the rose symbolises that. he took care of it with all his might and now it's with theo where it belongs. he tries to take care of theo but feels that theo is better at taking care of both of them.

and then... well, the petals scene was supposed to symbolise their romance and the romantic moments between them. the celebration kind of. the cheer and joy and falling even deeper in love. the soft moments, spent surrounded by their now blooming love.

and then there's the rose that withers as theo gets hurt and akktheo separate. the rose that hurts theo (literally as he pricks his finger on it) and starts dropping its petals. the rose theo no longer knows how to take care of and the rose that eventually witnesses theo leave back to france, alone.

but bc this was supposed to be happy, i ofc had to include the akktheo reunion in france (in that very horrible cgi france XD) so the hug is there. with the lonely rose... well. let's just think that the rose now has a new life somewhere. all that time wasted on it wasn't for nothing.

i hope any of this makes sense! i loved making this edit and i personally enjoy the colors in this a lot ^^ also it was fun going through enchanté again, i miss that show and i miss the soft, sweet forcebook ♥

[haloburns]

had some free time to think today and i just. got really sad about the life i used to think i was going to have before i became disabled

(whoops this turned into a Journal Entry, so im putting it beneath a read more sry lmao)

like. i had plans to travel europe and work in cafes and stay out too late in clubs with my new friends and then stumble in to open the cafe with my clothes from the night before and smeared makeup. and like, maybe thats a weird dream to have, but id spent so long in this tiny little box in my hometown (kinda. its complicated bc ive lived where i am now longer than the place i was born, but my birthplace will always be my hometown, to me.) so i was reaching for experiences so drastically different from the life id known.

but then i went to college out of state. 10h from home, almost in canada. and i did spend a good chunk of my first two years partying exactly like i described: work until 8/9, go home eat something fatty and greasy, change into smth slutty and cool, and go out with my friends and stay out until the wee hours, making out and dancing with whoever asked. two one night stands came of it, both embarrassing for different reasons (thats a whole different post lmao but i dont regret either, actually) but i had so much fun. i felt free. like i could truly be myself for the first time in my life

and then i became disabled.

(caveat: ive probably been disabled my whole life, but i simply. never noticed. i didnt know it wasnt normal to be in pain, because i didnt know what 'pain-free' meant. it wasnt until i started making diasbled and crippled friends that they made me realize that living at a 4/5 on the pain scale All The Time is in fact not normal)

i got a terrible cold my first thanksgiving. spent the entire break on the couch in the lounge sniffling and coughing, trash can, tissues, hand sanitizer, and lotion all right next to me because i was DETERMINED not to get anyone sick (context: this was pre covid. wearing masks was like. not a thought.) despite everyone having gone home/away for the break. i got my first (and only) case of viral pink eye. i had bronchitis until april. that same january, while i still had bronchitis, my knees suddenly swelled up so badly i couldnt move for two days. my knees have ached almost daily since then.

from there, it was simply a cascade failure of things. fingers and wrist hurt constantly, no matter what i did or what brace i wore. (hint: i ended up having de quervaines tenosynovitis and had to have surgery bc it went untreated for 5+ years) back was constantly cramping. feet hurt after only a four hour shift. stairs became impossible. i was constantly exhausted, no matter what i did.

then, in december 2020, i was home like everyone else, and i was working in my mom's office full time while also attending classes full time remotely (like everyone else). my mom took a week off. finals week. she left me in charge, since i was the second most senior person in the office with my roughly two years experience. my half sister was demanding to know why our other sister wouldnt talk to her after she borrowed our car to go see our estranged father. again. (we gave her permission to borrow the car, but it still hurt). the exhaustion was getting worse and worse until thursday of that week. my coworker was threatening to call my mom to come pick me up because i couldnt think, could barely talk, and i was nodding off at my desk. and then my half sister called out of nowhere and wanted to talk. and i was so tired, so done with EVERYTHING, i let her have it. that took the last bit of my energy and i told my coworker to call my mom.

i spent a week in bed with the worst pain in my life. my entire body ACHED. my cat couldnt lay on me because it felt like i was being crushed to death my a bed of needles. my elbow swelled up so badly i could hardly move it. i could barely sit up to eat or stand to go pee. i slept SO MUCH.

i returned to work maybe a week or two after. i maybe finished my classes but i hoenstly dont remember. i moved back up to school in jan/feb with covid restrictions so i could finish my senior year on campus. i couldnt walk to the mail room and back without needing a nap. i couldnt go to starbucks and bring back two coffees without needing a break in the middle of my walk. i went to the health services because something wasnt right.

after some tests and lots of arguing with some shitty doctors and PTs, the light of my life, dr k diagnosed me with chronic fatigue. i finally had an answer for all my issues.

i thought that was it.

that summer, june/july 2021, i developed postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome and fought to get it taken seriously. two er trips with elevated heart rate, brain fog, and high bp, and it took the second trip to have them take me SERIOUSLY and get a referral. the cardiologist told me i was fat and just needed to exercise more, the three heart monitors don't show stereotypical tachycardic events, so im just experiencing elevated heart rates. i was fine. finally convince him to put me on propranolol, the "as needed" dose, and fuck off when he says he wants to work me off them and get me exercising.

i found a doctor who took me seriously and listened when i said "i have x problem. i would like a solution." and gave me referral after referral after referral, chasing more and more diagnoses. she never once made me feel insane for my symptoms, never made me feel unheard, and she never failed to make me cry in relief every time i went to see her and didnt have to fight for just an ounce of care.

since then, ive been diagnosed with moderate asthma, psoriasis, fibromyalgia, and potentially (almost assuredly) hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndrome. (for those of you keeping track, thats six diagnoses in four years) dr m, my savior, retired this year, and ive found a new doctor im hoping i can teach to treat me with the same care and respect. shes already given me a second referral to gastroenterology for my stomach issues (which... might just be from too much ibuprofen... :) rip me) and neurology bc my migraines that have crippled me for upwards of a month before are no longer being managed by my meds and i need something more specific before i start new meds. she said shed find me a doctor to dx heds, bc shes still new and wasnt comfortable with the tests required and didnt want to do it wrong, which endears her to me just a little more

but all of ^^^ that is just a big winding way to say that my life has changed a LOT since i graduated high school. i can no longer stand for long periods of time. i cant lift more than maybe 5-10lbs, and i certainly cant carry it for any significant length of time. i get migraines so easily. my joints slip out of place if i step wrong. i cant go out one night and expect to be up and at'em early the next day. i have to weigh my energy vs what i want to get done vs what needs to get done, and most days, nothing gets done at all.

and sometimes, usually when i get a new diagnosis and a new complication to my life, i mourn the life i used to dream about for myself. i mourn the things ive had to lose out on because my reality has changed so drastically. i cant go to amusement parks anymore. i cant go to standing-room-only concerts. i cant go to the grocery by myself. and you can forget doing things like wandering through the mall to kill time or going for a leisurely walk around the park.

being disabled is not the worst thing to happen to me, and i dont think im damaged or broken or anything like that. despite all the pain and complications and accomodations i have and need, i love myself the way i am. after all, i am now the funniest fucking person in ANY room. i dont think i want it back, because i love the life i have now (meaningful volunteer work, a dnd group i love, and a partner i thank the stars for regularly). but sometimes, its hard not to mourn the life i thought id have

[littlenekosfan]

this thread is just me being a petty bitch so dont take it personally if u feel targeted.. so, lets rant :^) how can ppl look at him and be all like "mmm sexy man" dude..... the more i draw him, the more i realize how scary of a figure he is, he looks so calm and composed and kubo draw him with a slight blue (sad) feeling in his eyes... but when I draw him, its not the same, i dont draw him with the same emotion/feeling, its different...

i know i portray him with a sharp and cold look, piercing eyes, its just so him he's a tall figure, beautiful, imposing, almost angelic, but that pretty image wasnt acquired with altruism nor amour propre (and ill say it, i still dont believe ju has a good self-esteem, or at the very least, not the one he deserves/should be looking upon), he had to be strict with himself when he became a ritter and always have been ever since...

when i say blue its these panels where they show the most, all of these shots are without shinigamis (1st w/ his aide, 2nd bazz, 3d alone) im not saying he's sad, but his heart is not all stone... he has feelings!!! but they are very subtle (hear some ppl say he’s a cold hearted bitch im ???? yall clearly never saw him when he’s not in battle/war)

otherwise we get panels like these where we all know he isnt himself and omg he's scary, like genuinely Terrifying, and even without being under yhwach's power, he is just as scary esp when he interacts with shinigamis

we get to see his look when he’s under yhwach’s power, so i cant really call him jugram ngl, its like a mean side of him that is showing but never had in the first place.. an implanted personality.. and when he’s fighting shinigamis (except for one panel i know), that’s jugram, with a murderous intent and im not afraid to say that really is part of jugram, not a vengeful one, one with power greater than the enemy...

and well, we have Friend chapters where its just.... something else...... please look at this last panel and tell me how desperate he is, HES NOT HIMSELF AT ALL!#?%@ there is like, some kind of anguish in his expression that you can only see here in that single panel (where he calls bazz’ name) and when i say not himself, its not as “he’s ooc”, its as, not the usual composed jugram we’re used, its a desperate one, the one who wants to protect someone... for him to break that composure, then maybe it’s the most himself we get to see since he’s being completely transparent

its even worse when it comes to bazz’ death, the lack of panel showing jugram's face was done on PURPOSE, I KNOW IT!!!! and ppl just think "oh he killed his friend and walked away like nothing" DUDE, HOW CAN YOU SAY THIS?!??! WHEN WE HAVE THIS?!?!?? no expression was shown bc this is how ju handles it (and not the mention kubo PURPOSEFULLY refused to show us any of his facial expression... i fucking hate it, im not saying he’s crying, but he’s certainly hurt, the eyes are the most expressive facial trait, not surprising we didnt get to see them...)

this the only way he could handle it, if he were to show regret, any kind of empathy, he would snap, if you thought killing bazz was easy thing for him, then you dont get his character 

in other words, jugram is really beautiful, but ppl really need to look past it and how his cold look shouldnt make you think he's heartless

ok mentioned earlier about his he "gained" that cold look and while i dont believe he’s faking his composed self (aka, the “normal” jugram) he wouldnt have grown that way if he wasnt enrolled back then, look how innocent he is and how scary he looks after 3 years

3 years is a LOT (esp for his young age), so im not surprised he changed so much, but what bothers me is, "is this what he wants to be?" i would say no, he never desired to become like that, but he just happened to be.. this is what fate gave him so he's not dishonest nor faking, but also younger him would be terrified to know he became like that... does the current ju wanna go back to what he used to be? no, although i believe cold nature isnt his true nature (as in, if the circumstances were different, he wouldnt be that cold) i dont think he wanna go back its just... now part of him, ofc he can be happy and have feelings, he just expresses them less than average... i think ju was the most himself during that 5yrs detaching himself from his abusive uncle and be somehow free, not happy, but just himself

speaking of changing look, jugram went through a personality change 3 times where 2 are linked with trauma, when we first meet him, he's a very unsociable kid who is just looking for love, any kind, deep down, this is caused by his uncle (trauma 1) and making him so... detached from others (unfortunately, this is his initial persona)

this is ofc in order to protect himself (ppl who have DiD ppl mostly suffer from it bc of constant abuse and to protect themselves from trauma, their brain develop DiD ((im not suggesting jugram has DiD bc i dont have it so i cant diagnose it and i dont think there are enough proofs for it, but im not saying its impossible))) bc talking to other ppl could be a problem, so he doesnt befriend bazz at first, but bazz’ concern and the importance he gave to him touched him, deeply, when his uncle died, nothing was stopping him from being closer to bazz, to be more himself

unfortunately bazz didnt bring the best of him, but at least he wasnt restrained emotionally with him (his only inner struggle was being powerless) so he was more free, giving him (change 1) the shy/worried persona, this is the most jugo we ever got

trauma (the beginning of the 2th change): it's not ju joining yhwach but rather, their friendship being torn out, the only person he ever considered as a friend is revealed to have used him, a betrayer, and bazz didnt help himself either... ju just took the safest side

(another trauma sign: to take the safest side) these two werent thinking twice to everything that happened, but what is done is done, ju's whole world shifted (being a leader and military stuff), leading to another persona change (change 2), he prob quickly gained that persona there (bc it was so harsh and quick, one day he want training with bazz the day after he’s yhwach advisor...)

giving us the coldest ju imo (warmest to coldest in 3yrs... damn) i mean, for him to be so unbothered with bazz joining the army after 3 years is so damn cold from him esp when we are shown he never hated him and still cared despite everything...

then with time, he regain more freedom with his emotions and thoughts...which is the 3th change, our current ju, we dont have him joining the army, post-war nor post aushwalen ju, so we cant tell if it affected him somehow.. it would have been interesting..

(since i cant word my thoughts for two cents, i hope this clear it up a bit lmao)

anyways, takes like blonde byakuya, jugo as bankai rukia or just, jugram being a cold hearted bitch who has no feelings or “he’s really attrative, id fuck him, but id never date him” well, 1 he’s gay for one person and 2 dont even talk to me yall really be missing on an amazing character ngl...

[dreamkidddream]

If you’re still taking TWST requests- can I get 👀 (forced proximity) with Floyd? thank you and love your work!!

Ah thank you!!! 💓 my first ever request for twst let’s gooo!! 🥳 super excited bc I downloaded the game a few months ago and I really love it!! Also thanks everyone for participating in the “Build-a-Blurb” ask game!! 💚 Reader is gender neutral!

Something in your gut told you not to go with Jade.

He may be more sophisticated than his twin, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t as sadistic as him. If anything, he was more sadistic than Floyd with the way he enjoyed seeing others squirm- his prey. But you did owe him a favor, and while he made it sound harmless enough, something still wasn’t sitting right with you.

It wasn’t until you reached the empty classroom that you wished you would have trusted your gut.

There was Floyd, clicking his pen and looking at his phone bored, until his eyes moved and lit up at the sight of you. His sharp-toothed grin stretched across his face, and he jumped up, arms spread and coming straight towards you.

“I just need you to give Floyd some motivation for his studies. It should be simple enough, but make sure to do your best.” Jade smiled, his own sharp grin matching his twin, and he closed the door shut. Your heart sank when you heard the lock click.

“Shrimpy! You came to see me!” You couldn’t run away fast enough as Floyd wrapped his own arms around you and gave a squeeze. “I was so bored, but Jade kept buggin’ me to stay until he got my surprise- I’m so happy it’s you Shrimpy!” This is not how you wanted to die, with Floyd giggling maniacally in your ear and squeezing you tighter by the second. There was no use in trying to pull away from him or push your arms- it was honestly a bit frightening at how strong Floyd is.

“Er- Floyd, please.” It was getting harder to breathe with each breath you take. Floyd released you, giving you a bit of freedom before he threw his arm around your shoulder, bringing you close once more.

“Let’s have some fun-“

“Ah first-“ You broke away and ran behind the desk. “We should study! That’s what I’m here for, to help you study.” You laughed, trying to control the shiver that went down your spine. “So why don’t we do that first and then we can do-“

“Don’t need to.” Floyd complained, trying to reach you around the table. But every step he took towards you, you moved just out of reach.

“I know Floyd, but we should still-“

“Don’t be so lame Shrimpy.” He was getting closer to grabbing you, the tip of fingers grazing your uniform, which made you walk ever faster. You were basically playing tag at this point, and you did not want to get caught. “I like this game we’re playin’ now! I can’t wait to catch you and give you a good squeeze-“ And he was getting faster?!

“Please don’t!” Now you were both running around the table, you for your life and Floyd for fun. You could tell he was holding back, especially with how much laughing he was doing. You don’t know how much longer you can keep doing this- but you didn’t have to make that decision when your foot caught the table leg and you found yourself falling backwards. Good news: the table caught you, your back not hurting as much as it would have on the floor. Bad news: you soon found yourself staring straight into the heterochromatic eyes of Floyd, who didn’t hesitate to pin you down by your wrists.

“Caught you.” The grin on his face was unnerving and you sucked in a breath at how much his voice lowered. You couldn’t get your thoughts together, at a loss for words at how close you both were. He only leaned closer, nose almost brushing together. Just what is he planning, and why do you feel warmth bubbling in your stomach?

“I really think we should study Floyd.” You sputtered out, mind still reeling from your current position.

“I don’t need to. I already know it and it’s boring.” You squeaked when Floyd poked at your stomach and sides, him finding your reactions addicting. So if he knew the material, why did Jade need you here? Just to see you suffer?

“So why did Jade say you need motivation?”

“Probably cause I don’t do any homework. But it doesn’t matter, I finally got Shrimpy all to myself!” He nuzzled into you, and you felt his grin against your neck. But it did matter to you- the faster you get this resolved, the faster you can get out of his grip. You swear that you will never be in Jade’s debt for as long as you live.

“Well how about this- if I help you do your homework,” You gulped, hoping that you weren’t about to make the wrong decision. “Then we can do anything you want afterwards.”

He blinked down at you, and you thought that maybe he was about to have one of his infamous mood swings. You saw him have that same gleam in his eyes whenever he was irritated and about to squeeze someone, and you didn’t want that someone to be you.

“Anything?”

His tone scared you, but if you wanted to be let free, you just have to suck it up. “Anything- as long as it doesn't end up with me being squeezed to death. Or dying in general.”

Floyd stared at you for what felt like forever, scanning your face for any giveaway that you’re lying. He no longer had his playful aura, and he seemed to genuinely weigh his options. You held your breath until he released your wrists.

“Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Really? Like- no tricks? You’ll actually do it?”

“Yeah. It won’t take me long, and I wanna get outta here so we can have some fun.”

“Fun?” You got up and your mouth dropped at how fast Floyd was actually doing his work. Why didn’t he just do that to begin with?!

“Because it’s boring and I didn’t feel like it. I already said that. You not listenin’ to me?”

“Ah- sorry Floyd, I just forgot!” You did not mean to say that out loud, and the last thing you wanted to do was anger the eel. You didn’t know what sort of “fun” he had in mind, but you didn’t want him to get any ideas if he was angry. You moved to sit down across from him where you could make sure he actually finished when he pulled you into his lap.

“Floyd what-what are you doing?!”

”I wanna keep you close. You don’t mind, do ya Shrimpy?”

It’s only temporary, it’s only temporary- you kept repeating that thought as you felt his breath hit your neck and you had to repress another shiver and tried to ignore the fluttery feeling in your stomach.

[dolce-peach]

oh can I request an obiwan x Jedi!reader? Where they are on a mission and get hurt and tend to each other's wounds and it ends up really sweet and soft and so one of them confesses and they have their first kiss?? You can change any part of this if you want and if it's too specific! Also, no pressure ❤️

home (is where you are)

pairing: obi-wan kenobi x jedi!reader

warnings: injury; obi's pretty worried; kinda suggestive; sleazy men 🙄; momentary mentions of abuse, trafficking, drug use/dealing, and gambling

a/n: eeee squealing bc this is adorable! took kinda a diff turn than i was expecting, but hope you like it -- tysm for the submission, anon 🥰 also mullet!obi is so pretty just LOOK AT HIM 😭😭 feel free to send in more requests 😭💖

permanent taglist: @kaitlynmalikisnotonfire @just-another-loki-fangirl

** TO MAKE A REQUEST -- please check the status in my bio **

masterlist

----

You shifted uneasily in your outfit, the fabric scratching your skin. It showed more than you would’ve liked, hugging your body tightly. You’d give anything to change back into your warm but comfortable robes, but you had a job to do.

Going over the plan again in your head, it seemed simple and routine, nothing that you hadn’t handled before. But a simple drugs bust seemed like something the Republic security force should be handling, not the Jedi Council.

“How much longer, Obi-Wan?” you groaned into your comms piece hidden in your ear. You walked into the club and quickly scoped out the occupants and an exit route.

“Not much longer,” came a low reply. “Just act natural.”

“Says you,” you retorted, searching the crowd for him as you neared the bar.

He was adorned in a fitted suit. The style was rather conservative, but still looked lovely in the soft light of the hanging lanterns. He had brushed his longer locks back, revealing his freshly shaven beard. You couldn’t help but smile in his direction before turning towards the bar for a much-needed drink.

You sipped your drink, sighing as you adjusted your outfit yet again. “Explain to me why we need to wear these stupid disguises.”

“In order to oust these dealers, we have to look the part,” Obi-Wan explained patiently. “For what it’s worth, you’re beautiful. Are you -- are you drinking?”

You were unfazed by his previous comment and rolled your eyes as you took another sip, its sweet taste on your tongue. “I need something to help me through the night," you pointed out. “Besides, this isn’t our first rodeo.”

Before Obi-Wan could protest, his voice came in low. “There he is, approaching the bar,” he warned you. “All we need is information. The authorities will handle the rest later.”

“But what if things need to get messy?”

“Luckily for you, I’m good at cleaning.”

“Hilarious.”

“Who might you be?” the dealer mused, his eyes floating up and down your figure.

You smiled, locking your gaze with his. “Whatever you want me to be.”

He chuckled. “Good answer,” he said. “How might I help such a pretty creature?”

“Be careful,” came Obi-Wan's voice through your earpiece.

Pouting, your finger circled the rim of your glass suggestively. “A friend told me this is where I should come to find paradise...if you know what I mean...” you trailed off. “I need some help forgetting an ex.”

“Oh,” he laughed. “Must be some stupid bastard if he dropped you.”

“Maybe,” you said. “But how do you know it wasn’t me who cut him off?”

He licked his lips. “You look too soft.”

You downed the rest of your drink. “You’re sweet,” you breathed as you leaned in. “So what do you think? Wanna treat me?”

“Tempting,” he chuckled. “Follow me.”

As you followed him out of the thick atmosphere of the club, you lightly bumped into Obi-Wan, who slipped you your saber. You tucked the hilt into a cutout of your clothing.

The dealer led you to a larger room, more of a warehouse than anything. Your hand immediately shot up to cover your nose from the strong smells. Looking around cautiously, you noticed several armed guards surrounding the work area, where droids and masked workers were busy packaging up the goods.

“This is it,” the dealer said, gesturing. “What do you think?”

“Quite impressive,” you said. “You must be proud.”

“I am,” he said pompously. “You want to know what I think?”

You narrowed your eyes. “Enlighten me.”

His hand shot out, catching your throat in a bruising grip, slowly lifting you off your feet. Panic flooded your body as he nearly dug his nails into your skin. You clawed at his arms, but his hand was unforgiving.

“I think that you’re a Jedi, and you’re not who you say you are,” he said as he pulled his blaster from his belt. The armed guards began making their way over.

You tried laughing. “Oh, don’t be like that,” you managed to croak as you struggled. Seeing his unchanging and rather serious expression, you sighed. “Fine, fine, you got me,” you said with a small smile. “What gave me away?”

“I know your face,” the dealer grunted.

“Well done, you,” you said before quickly drawing your saber and cutting his blaster in half.

He yelled in shock as he staggered back into some oncoming guards. They began shooting blindly at you, hoping one of their shots would land. Unfortunately for them, you were quick on your feet. Even though you had a drink, your senses were on high alert. The only thing that ached was your neck.

You should’ve known it wasn’t going to be that easy.

“Obi-Wan!” you shouted into your earpiece. “A little help would be great!”

“On my way,” he said, his voice taught. “Get out of there if you can.”

A blaster charge singed your shoulder. “That’s going to be a bit difficult!” you protested, deflecting a charge to one last standing guard, leaving the dealer exposed and unprotected.

“Jedi scum!” he growled, pulling a smaller gun from his belt.

Before you could react, a flash of bright blue shot out from behind you, effectively slicing the dealer’s hands clean off. The stench of charred flesh cut through the sweet scent of the drugs.

“Rather unoriginal for an insult, don’t you think?” Obi-Wan shot.

“You chopped my kriffing hands off!” the dealer wailed. “Who do you think you are?”

“Frankly I think you deserve much worse,” Obi-Wan said. “Let’s see, dealing illegal drugs, gambling, trafficking, abuse...I'd say you ticked all the boxes for a one way ticket to prison.”

The dealer's eyes were bloodshot. "I'll kill you!"

By that time, undercover officers came in and took the dealer off your hands.

You felt yourself relax a little, but then the pain began settling in. You knew you’d have a bruise on your neck for weeks, as well as scarred skin from that blaster. Slowly inhaling, you leaned against the railing before Obi-Wan rushed over.

“Thanks for stepping in,” you said.

His fingers swept over your injured shoulder, earning a hiss from you. His expression was filled with worry as he offered a hand. You gladly took it, and he swung your arm over his shoulder to escort you out the back door.

By the time the two of you got back to your speeder, you could feel yourself getting drowsy. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the powdered drug spores in the air.

“Home,” was all you could say.

“We have to get you to the infirmary,” Obi-Wan said as the two of you made your way back to the temple.

You shook your head, feeling yourself fading fast. “I’m fine. I just want to go home...”

As Obi-Wan called your name, you didn’t realize you’d given in to the dark.

--

A cool sensation to your shoulder was the first thing you felt when you came to.

You opened your eyes to a familiar ceiling. Shifting your gaze to the side of the bed you lay in, you noticed Obi-Wan hard at work trying to spread ointment on your shoulder. His blue eyes were focused on you, on your skin, then the next moment, they were focused on yours.

“You’re awake,” he said with relief. “How’re you feeling?”

“Tired,” you admitted. “I’m never doing that again.”

He smiled through his beard. “Rest. You’re safe now.”

“Of course,” you said, your eyes soft as you looked at him. “Thank you.”

“Although,” he began, “you were a bit reckless.”

You rolled your eyes. “Sometimes you have to be a bit reckless to get results, especially with slippery drug dealers.” You sighed. “And if that means putting myself at risk, then so be it.”

“You sound too much like Anakin,” Obi-Wan groaned.

You laughed. “He has a point, though.”

You were quiet when he ran his fingers over the marks on your neck. Even as his touch was like a feather, pain still erupted over your sensitive skin. Your eyes widened at remembering the sensation, a small whimper escaping your throat. You let your guard down for one second because of your arrogance, and you paid the price.

Obi-Wan bore concern in his eyes, along with a mixture of other emotions that couldn't be mentioned. “A cold compress ought to do it.”

Just as he got up, your hand shot out to grab his wrist. He looked back at you with surprise.

“Stay,” you whispered. “I’m fine.”

“But you’re in pain,” he said softly. “I’ll only be a moment.”

“I just...I need you,” you insisted. “Please.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but ended up sitting back down at your bedside. He held your hand in his, his callused thumb laying gentle strokes across your skin.

You didn’t know where this sudden desperation came from, and you hadn’t felt that way since joining the Jedi Order. You were only an infant when they took you in. You knew you were safe, but there was always some part of you that was fearful. Fearful of the future, fearful that you’d end up a failure, fearful of the people that could leave you.

Although Obi-Wan was a bit older than you, something about him made you feel safe. Maybe it was his presence within the Force, or his warm smile that caught you off guard, or the way he glanced at you across the room during meetings. He gifted you a certain warmth.

Or maybe it was all in your head.

He gently said your name, bringing you back to the moment.

“What's troubling you?”

You furrowed your brow. “Nothing.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I know that look,” he pointed out. “You’re hiding something.”

“Am not,”you insisted.

Seeing that as a battle he wasn't ever going to win, he sighed. “Now will you let me get you something for your neck?” he asked softly.

You shook your head.

He chuckled. “Will you let me take you to get something for your neck?”

That you could do.

Without a warning, he scooped you up in his arms and carried you to the small bathroom attached to his room. He sat you on the counter while he wet a rag with cold water.

He did his best to be as gentle as he could, pressing the cold into your bruise. Your eyes never left his, watching him concentrate.

“I’m sorry,” he said, breaking the silence. “I never should’ve sent you in on your own.”

You shook your head. “It would’ve been too obvious. Besides, I volunteered --”

“I could’ve lost you.” His jaw tightened as he wet the rag again. “It’s...it’s my greatest fear. Losing you.”

“Fear?” you echoed. “But I thought...”

“My fear and strong attachment to you,” he finished. “If left untended, could lead to...”

He trailed off into silence at the inevitable.

You took his face in your hands, making him meet your eyes. “You won’t lose me, not now not ever,” you said. You smiled. “You’re impossible to live without.”

His blue eyes were glossy. “Wh-what?”

“You, Obi-Wan Kenobi, are impossible to live without,” you repeated. “You are my haven. My home. You always have been. It was only a matter of time since I met you before...” You let go of his cheeks, looking away with embarrassment. “Obi-Wan, I --”

You were suddenly aware of how close he was. He was stationed between your legs as you sat on the counter. He had leaned closer as you held his face, now only inches from your lips. You could feel his sweet, warm breath against your skin, along with a desire for more.

But you couldn’t. You shouldn’t.

He was close, so close.

Too close.

Your mind was in a thick fog.

“Can I...?” came the almost inaudible question.

You gave a small nod, your eyes only on his lips.

He leaned closer until his lips pressed into yours for a moment before pulling back. His eyes were wide as he searched your gaze for any signs of panic. When you sighed, grasping onto his robes to keep him close, he took that as a signal to kiss you again, deeper.

You had always heard what kisses could be like, but you never thought you'd ever experience one yourself.

His hands slowly trailed from your thighs to your hips and waist, holding you with so much caution and anticipation, as if you were going to break. You could feel his fingers trembling as yours trailed up his chest to his neck.

Your mind was lost, but you didn’t feel that it was.

His lips fell away from yours, and you sighed.

“Obi...”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

You brushed your lips over his cheek. “Don’t apologize.”

He whispered your name in your ear, along with a ghostly, “I love you.”

As he lay fluttering kisses over the bruises on your neck, your breath hitched in your throat. You closed your eyes, imprinting the sensation in your mind.

“I love you, Obi-Wan.”

[yesimwriting]

The Promise of Rain

A/n finally writing that Kaz Brekker x reader angsty-fluff where the reader is all sunshine-y and Kaz is dramatic as always lol 

Might make this a blurb series bc i like this dynamic so much lol

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x sunshine-y reader 

Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Kaz has a conversation with the reader (who’s a runaway princess) about what happens to people who stay near him. 

-- 

He once said that he didn’t believe in Saints. A moment later he conceded that perhaps they existed in order to appease Inej, but he was quick to tact on that if Saints existed they didn’t care about him. Inej and I had exchanged a look, she pleaded with me in silence to let him be. I opened my mouth despite the look in her eyes, but he had walked away before I could get any words out. 

He believes that the Saints don’t care about him, but as soon as he was dragged in by Jesper, bleeding and more broken than usual, it had started to rain. The rain is a promise. The rain is a sign that he will wake up. 

I tap a finger against the forgotten book on my lap, ignoring the dried blood I’ve been too anxious to wash off. When Kaz wakes up he’ll either scold me or partially tease me for waiting here by his bedside. The rain continues, cascading down invisible hope. 

“Save your prayers, even for you the Saints won’t regard me.” Kaz. His voice is raspier than it should be and his slight condescension is blighted by the tired flatness of it. But it’s him. He’s speaking. 

I tear my gaze away from the window, almost forgetting to tamper down my relief before finally looking at him. I haven’t known him long enough to see him in any level of defeat, but I’ve heard enough stories. The fictional exaggeration of those that fear him have made him seem so immortal. Some part of me must have internalized that because to see him like this, to see him so human is too intimate. 

“Don’t be so narcissistic.” Something about Kaz always leaves me feeling challenged, like each comment is some kind of dare. I adjust my posture. “I wasn’t praying because I knew you’d be okay.” 

His expression is unchanging. “So much faith in me?” 

There’s a soft edge to his words, an attempt to twist some kind of awkward denial out of me. Some days I don’t think Kaz enjoys anything and then other days I think he enjoys any misstep in my words. 

I shrug, pushing down the flood of relief still attempting to crawl out of my chest. “You’re always okay.” I scratch the back of my wrist idly. “It seems the safe bet.” 

“Don’t tell me you’ve been taking gambling advice from Jesper.” 

I half roll my eyes. “No--Jesper and I don’t play together anymore.” I let out an easy sigh. “Last time I beat him he bordered on a hissy fit.” There’s the slightest hint of upturning at the corners of his lips. “I should go tell Jesper and Inej you’re awake.” 

“I think you should change out of that dress first.”

He was more likable when I thought he might die at any second. “Wow--Kaz Brekker the professional stylist.” He has no right to judge the formal gown I’m in. Yes, my outfit is ridiculous, but I’m only wearing it because the Crows needed someone they knew at a merchant’s party for a part of some scheme they wouldn’t share the details of with me. “Yes, I’m aware that this dress is more tulle than anything else, but I’m only wearing it because I was helping you.” 

I wait for some retort about how he could have managed without my assistance or some kind of comment about how I didn’t need such a large dress to flirt and distract the guards as the Crows snuck into the merchant’s private office. “You fit in there more than you said you would.” 

From anyone else, I’d consider this an insult. “I was making an effort for the sake of your plans.” 

“I saw you before I went into the office, you knew the dances, the man took your hand.” 

That’s the weirdest observation I’ve ever witnessed someone reflect on. “That’s how those dances tend to work.” I don’t hide the confusion in my expression. “How much blood did you lose?” 

Kaz’s piercing gaze drops to the blanket on his lap. “Not a concerning amount.”

“Why do I feel like we have different definitions of ‘concerning’?” 

His eyes flit upwards, a partial smirk playing at his lips. “We define a lot of things differently.” He pauses, “You defined the life you slipped into so easily tonight as something you could never do.” 

“I can’t.” What is his problem? “One dance is different than an eternity of planning teas and marrying some man who only keeps me so I can rear his children.” 

“You’d end up marrying someone who could give you things.”

He better not be implying I should be having children. I’m seriously starting to hope he did lose a significant amount of blood because that would be some kind of explanation. “I don’t want anyone to be giving me children right now, but I guess your concern is ni--”

“No, no,” he screws his eyes shut for a long second, “You know what I meant.” I stay silent. “You’re technically a princess, y/n, you could have more than the Barrel.” There’s an odd silence as he pauses. “Someone like you should have more than the Barrel.” 

He speaks like his word is law. That’s the one habit of his I can never seem to forgive. Is Kaz telling me to go home? To go back to a mother who dreams of marrying me off and a father with a temper that often leads to violence? He may be Dirtyhands, but he is no one to tell me who to go back to. Not after I risked my anonymity to get him into that merchant’s office. 

I shut my book and stand in one swift motion. “I’m going to tell Jesper and Inej that you’re awake.”

“Y/n.” I ignore him. “Y/n.” Again, I ignore him, approaching the doorway. The rustling of sheets leaves me frozen, hand on the doorknob. “Y/n.” 

Without thinking, I turn on my heels while glaring. There’s no way he’s proud enough to have climbed out of bed wi--and he’s standing. Standing almost directly behind me. 

“Kaz Brekker, I am going to say this one time and one time only.” I keep my words measured and my tone flat. No room for argument. “You just had nine stitches put in near your heart, get your ass back in bed before that is no longer your only injury.” 

He pauses, lips pressed together into a tight white line. And then his mouth opens, pried open by an oddly light sound. Did he just--Did Kaz Brekker just laugh? He doesn’t laugh. I didn’t think he was physically capable, and now he laughs while I’m threatening him? I should hit him on principle alone and damn the consequences. 

“Did you--” I’m gaping at him with a rage I am not accustomed to. “Did you just laugh?” 

Kaz is quick to shut his mouth. “You did swear you’d get me to laugh one day.” 

Saints--now he chooses to have some kind of sense of humor. “Not while I was threatening you for being an idiot after saying my lineage means that I’m meant to be trapped in the life I desire least.” 

“I didn’t say that.” I raise an eyebrow. “You don’t deserve more than this because of your family, you deserve more than this because--” He cuts himself off with a sharp sigh. “Do you remember what happened the day we met?” 

He had wanted to return me to my father for the money. I had managed to convince him I could be more useful working for him without profit. The first day had been tense, I had sworn to myself that I would hate him forever. 

“I remember really hating you.” I remember thinking him beautiful despite his darkness. “I remember it started raining on our way here.” 

“You had a hood, but you pushed it off your head to feel the rain.” I don’t remember that because indulging in the rain is instinctual to me. “You looked at the rain, and you smiled--and then you saw a woman with a child and you took off your hood and gave it to them.” 

“What does that have to d--” 

“Watching that felt like intruding on an intimate moment I had no business knowing about, but it wasn’t that to you. That moment was nothing to you because that moment was who you are.” 

I don’t understand what he sees in something I can barely remember. “Kaz, what does that have to do with anything?” 

“I’m the monster that children believe live under their beds, I’m the bastard of the Barrel, I’m someone who gets blood on everything near them.” His gaze is harsher than I’ve ever seen it as he focuses on the dried blood splotched across my hands and arms. “And then I can’t even help you wash it off.” 

Those last words are the closest to broken I’ve ever heard him sound. “Kaz--”

“And you’re the girl who looks at the rain like it’s a gift from the Saints.” 

Is he implying what I think he’s implying? Even if I believed him such a source of evil, even if I felt like touch mattered that much--why would he care? I keep the much more frightening implication at bay as I exhale. Clarity will only make this conversation worse. “That doesn’t matter.” The words leave me in a low whisper. 

I stare at the ground until his silence is something I can no longer bear. Looking up as cautiously as possible, I take in his expression. I’ve never seen him look so--so enraged. “It doesn’t matter?!” He doesn’t bother hiding the fact that he’s practically seething. “I’ve viewed your presence here as temporary since you first came and despite that, when I saw you there…” The breath he lets out is practically pained. “When I saw what your life is meant to be--I didn’t want you to go.” 

The admission breaks something hard in my chest. “I never wanted to go.” My eyeline drops to the ground. “I didn’t want to go when you were trying to make me, I didn’t want to go when it was only for that evening.” I swallow a lump of emotion restricting my throat. “When you were bleeding out and Jesper had to carry you back here I let myself imagine what it’d be like if you died. And it hurt. It hurt so badly I asked myself if I would rather never know you than feel that pain.” 

“Would you?” His voice has gone hollow. 

I finally look up again. “No.” That word leaves me more bare than any physical touch ever could. 

“I stain everything that stays with me,” his voice has seamlessly shifted back to a tone meant for business, “Me wanting you to stay is more than enough reason for you to leave.”

My chest aches as emotions I’ll never be able to place a name to pound against my chest. “I’m a princess that ran away from her family and tried to befriend her kidnapper--you can’t possibly be narcissistic enough to believe that you’re what’s corrupted me.” 

“Y/n,” his voice is gravely again, the way it was when he first woke up. 

“No. What could you possibly think I’d say to that?” He’s insane--I’m not even sure I understand what he’s implying. “You know I’ll never agree with what you’re saying, so I have no idea what kind of reaction you’re looking for.”

“Maybe a genuine one.” 

The comment is so frustrating I can’t help but roll my eyes. The irony of Kaz Brekker asking for a genuine reaction to an emotionally heavy comment is almost laughable. “My genuine reaction is that you’re acting like an idiot because I don’t agree with anything you’re saying, but calling someone an idiot after they’ve been stabbed in the chest is a little insensitive so I can’t give you my genuine reaction.”

Kaz half-scoffs, “You don’t agree? Y/n--are you hearing me!? I want--I want you to stay.” Even angry, the admission warms me. He lets out a frustrated sigh. “More than that I want--” 

“What?” 

He shakes his head once. “I want something that can never be because I can’t give what needs to be given to get it.” 

“Kaz, if it involves me staying you don’t need to give anything for that because I don’t want to go.” 

“I-want-you-to-stay-with-me.” The admission is pried from him by some invisible force. He speaks so fiercely the sentence comes out as one angry word. 

He speaks so quickly a part of me is convinced that I misheard him. I watch him as he moves back to the bed, sitting down in a way so resigned I wonder if I blurted something out on instinct. 

“Kaz,” this is embarrassing, “I wanted to stay with you even when I wanted to hate you.”

I take in his measured expression, the only thing implying any kind of reaction is the way his eyebrows draw together. “Don’t say that, you don’t understand what that means.” 

“Why? Because you’re convinced you’ll ruin me?” 

“Y/n, we’d be together with a wall between us, keeping us from ever touching.” 

“I will tolerate any amount of damage you’re so convinced staying with you will bring, I will stay with you and never touch you and think nothing of it--but I will not stay with you just to stand in front of a wall.” I let out a tired breath. “I will stay with you but my one condition will be that you have to let me know you.” 

Kaz’s intense gaze wavers. “The first thing you’ll know is that me allowing you to stay is a testament to my greed.” 

I give him a sharp look, “It’s not greed if I want to be here.” 

He half sighs, leaning against a pillow as he turns to look out the window. “It’s raining,” he muses, “The Saints must have done that for you.” 

The sentiment is so soft my heart feels like it’s constricting. “I thought you didn’t believe in the Saints.” 

“If they exist, they do so for people like you.” 

I push past the emotion in my chest as I move to sit in the same chair I was in earlier. “I was honest when I said I didn’t pray for you.” I scratch the back of my arm, a coldness passing over me. “I didn’t pray because I knew you would be okay because you had to be.” 

“They wouldn’t have saved me,” he mumbles, “Or maybe they would have for you.” 

I shake my head once, staring at the rain with more fascination than before. 

--

General Taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper @grishaverse7 @lonelystarship

[jcwriting]

Written in the Stars

summary ↬ being soulmates with a werewolf? pretty easy. being jungkook’s soulmate? the easiest thing in the world. there’s only one teensy tiny problem. he doesn’t want to fuck you.

pairing ↬ werewolf!jungkook x reader

genre ↬ soulmate!au, abo verse, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort (this is so fucking dramatic and for what)

word count ↬ 10.4k my hand slipped

warnings ↬ swearing, angst (but with a happy ending bc im a sappy bitch), jk is stupid in love (emphasis on stupid), mentions of violence (very brief and i don’t go into too much detail but just to warn yall), slight nsfw (sex is a big topic for like half of this but not sex is had...i know im shocked too), half of this is background info/setting up the story the other half is finally addressing the summary lolol, jk is kind of an asshole but he has reasons!!!!!

authors note ↬ hello lovelies! here’s a small little thing for you all (laughs in 10k word count). this has been sitting in my drafts for fucking ever and i just needed to get it out there and out of my hands. im thinking about writing a part two where the actual ~*/sex/*~ is had but im still on the fence about that. please let me know what you think! i literally crave your interactions so pls dont be shy,,,,,okay love you bye :)

(ps i was so close to naming this Rewrite the Stars but since this has absolutely nothing to do with The Greatest Showman i didn’t. but i was close,,,,so fucking close)

You always knew Jeon Jungkook was destined for great things.

It was written in the stars, your mother had told you after he had first stepped foot into your family-owned grocery store. Your mother didn’t have any special powers, she just had a thing for astrology. While you normally shrugged off her random proclamations about divine intervention and planetary alignments, you found that Jungkook was something you couldn’t ignore or chalk up as your mother’s latest tea leaf reading.

From the moment you set eyes on him you knew he was different. While your family held zero claim to any sort of mystical or magical inclinations, you were well aware of those who did. It was no secret that non-humans roamed the Earth in plain sight, even though it had taken humans eons to realize this. After years of savage wars and civil unrest, agreements had come into place and governing bodies were adjusted to accept the changes that had finally been made. But, this was all before your time. You were the generation that was born into the period of peace, the first children to not experience bloodshed before they could walk. The world you knew now was almost a complete one-eighty of what it had been.

Where before those who were not of human blood had to do everything they could to blend in, now could be free of the shadows. Your classrooms had both humans and non-humans in their rosters. Some of your teachers were hybrids. Curriculum expanded to teach humans about a world that had once been entirely unknown to them. One of your favorite teachers was a witch who regaled your tenth grade class with stories of goblin wars, wizard duels, and vampire covens. All tales that you had once thought were nothing but fiction were now anything but.

Which is why, the second Jeon Jungkook entered the grocery store that your parents owned and that you had worked at since you were old enough to speak in full sentences, you knew who he was. You didn’t even question it.

He was a werewolf. A powerful one. You could see it in the way he carried himself. The purposeful strides he took down the narrow aisles, the confidence in his broad shoulders. Humans weren’t nearly as sensitive as their hybrid counterparts but you also paid attention in your classes. Or, perhaps you were more aware than other humans. Never in your life did you have the issues other faced when meeting a non-human for the first time. You always knew who they were without them having to tell you. You just knew.

So, when Jeon Jungkook stepped up to your register with a bottle of water and some raw beef, you didn’t flinch. Didn’t bend under his dark gaze or shuffle your feet in an awkward attempt to break the silence. Instead, you flashed him your customer service smile and rang up his items. He didn’t say a word as he paid, barely sparing you a second glance as he strode out of the store.

“He’s going to be a great and powerful man,” your mother said in that feathery light voice of hers. “It was written in the stars.”

You couldn’t help but agree.

Jeon Jungkook came into your store everyday for the next month. He bought the same thing every time. A bottle of water and a package of raw beef. The only time he spared you any words was to say thank you or the occasional hello if the sun was shining. Usually, he was alone. Sometimes, he came with a few members of his pack. You liked those days. He smiled a little brighter and talked a little louder when they were around. Especially around Taehyung.

Then, after a month, he didn’t come in. Not for an entire week. From Monday to Sunday, you hadn’t seen a hide nor hair of him. A part of you was worried, so worried that you almost stopped Taehyung in the middle of the street to ask of Jungkook’s whereabouts before realizing how insane that made you look, the other part was chastising yourself for caring. Jeon Jungkook was a customer. Nothing more, nothing less.

The following Monday had come and you had finally stopped glancing at the sliding doors every five minutes. You no longer expected his commanding presence to rock your little world. Instead, you continued your day as if it had been any other. That was, until, Jeon Jungkook stepped through the entrance looking as if he was walking on air. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

“Did you have a good heat?” You asked when he stepped up to your register. Jungkook fumbled the water bottle he had been setting onto the conveyer belt before turning to stare at you.

“What did you just say?”

You didn’t shrink under his intense glare. “I was asking if you enjoyed your heat. Seems like you did.”

“How do you know I was in my rut?”

“Oh, is rut the correct terminology? Sorry, they always interchanged them in class, I was never sure what was appropriate.” You shrugged and rang up his items. “It was kind of obvious, though. You seemed pretty agitated about a week-and-a-half ago, then you disappear for a week, and now you’re back looking happier than ever. If it wasn’t your rut then I want to know where you went on vacation because that’s where I’m heading to next.”

Jungkook laughed. That almost made you jump out of your skin. You had never heard him laugh before. It was throaty, it was deep, and it was wonderful. “I’ll be sure to send you the link to the Airbnb.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?”

He smirked. “I’m here every day, aren’t I?”

You tilted your head as you accepted the cash he handed to you. “Clearly, you’re not that reliable.”

Jungkook laughed again. It was becoming your new favorite sound. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to appear flaky.”

“You’re forgiven,” you decided as you handed him the plastic bag of his purchases. Teasingly, you added, “just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

He flashed you a smile that showed off his sharpened canines. “Don’t worry, darling. I never make the same mistake twice.”

Jeon Jungkook kept his promise. He showed up everyday, like clockwork. Bought the same thing. Arrived at the same time. The only thing that changed was how he treated you. It wasn’t that he treated you badly before, he had always been polite. But now, he talked to you. He asked you questions and answered yours. More often than not, he laughed.

(It had become your favorite sound.)

For three months, this continued. The two of you had settled into a comfortable routine, something you relied on and expected. Until, he changed that.

Until, Jeon Jungkook asked you out on a date.

“What did you just say?”

“Are you free? Tonight?” You glanced around, almost expecting to see some sort of supermodel posing behind you to explain the absolute absurdity of the situation. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for the hidden cameras. I think I’m getting Punk’d.”

Jungkook sighed and placed both hands on the counter that separated the two of you. “Look at me.” You did. Slowly and warily, but you did. “Does it look like I’m lying to you?”

Narrowing your eyes, you regarded him carefully. He seemed serious. But, then again, do you ever really know someone? “I don’t know. I’ve never actually seen you lie before so I wouldn’t know the difference.”

“Fine. Ask me what color my shirt is.”

“What color is your shirt?”

“White,” he deadpanned. You glanced down at his chest. His shirt was black.

“Jungkook!”

He threw his head back and released a full bellied laugh. Even in your exasperation you couldn’t help but soften a little. “I’m sorry, darling. I couldn’t help myself.” Annoyed, you huffed and spun to face the cash register. Stabbing your finger onto the touchscreen, you ignored Jungkook’s obvious presence on the opposite side of the counter. Until his hand reached around the card reader and grasped a hold of your chin. The warmth of his fingers forced your head to turn to meet his.

“Come to dinner with me.” His voice was nothing but a rumble in his chest, his eyes so black and all-consuming you couldn’t do anything but agree with him. He seemed pleased by your response as his fingers tightened against your skin and a grateful smile flicked past his lips. His gaze darted down to your mouth and your breath froze in your chest.

“Are you going to kiss me?”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to?”

“No.” You tried to shake your head but his grip didn’t allow you much movement. He was taken aback by your answer, a small frown tugging at his mouth. You quickly backtracked to fix the situation. “I don’t want our first kiss to be in a grocery store. That’s a new low that I refuse to reach.”

Jungkook chuckled and tapped your chin gently. “Alright, darling. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

Again, he kept his promise to you. He showed up at your parents house exactly at seven, wearing a button-down shirt and slacks. The tulips he had gotten for you was thrust into your hands the moment you opened the door. Flashing him a genuine smile, you hurried into the kitchen to set them in water while your mother grilled him on his birth time. You were quick to drag him away, practically throwing him towards the car as you waved goodbye.

“Sorry,” you sighed as Jungkook opened the passenger door for you. “She has a…thing for astrology. She’s probably creating your star map or whatever right now.”

“It’s okay,” he responded once he got into the drivers seat. “It’s sweet of her to care.”

You snorted. “She’s delusional is what she is.”

“So, you’re saying you don’t believe in astrology?”

“Do you?”

Jungkook shrugged as he pulled out of your dirt driveway. He looked so damn attractive behind the wheel it was honestly unfair. “Not really saying I do or don’t. All I know is that there are a lot of things out there that are out of our control. If believing in the stars and planets helps you gain some of that control back, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

“God, don’t talk like that in front of my mother. She’ll want to start dating you.”

He grinned and placed a hand on your knee. “Tell her I’m already taken.”

You didn’t get a chance to respond to that. Not that he didn’t give you one, it was just that you literally had nothing to say. With just one sentence he opened the floodgates of your brain and the amount of thoughts that were flying through your conscious was painful. Anxiety fluttered in your stomach and you pressed your lips together to keep you from word vomiting onto him. No, it was better to keep your mouth shut and let the moment pass.

By the time you reached the restaurant you were a trembling mess of nerves. Were you guys dating? You thought this was just a ‘testing the waters’ date, not a ‘you’re my girlfriend now’ date. Did you have to make it Facebook official? You hated that shit.

Jungkook didn’t comment on your obvious distress, though. He merely placed a hand on the small of your back, ignoring how you jerked in surprise, and led you into the quiet bistro. Nodding politely to the hostess who was practically panting at the sight of him (you honestly couldn’t blame her) and pulled out your chair for you. When he sat down, he started talking. Idle chat at first. Commenting on one of the dishes, asking about the college classes you were taking at your local university. Before you realized it, wine was in your glass and your shoulders were loose. Previous nerves forgotten, you lost yourself in Jungkook. You drank, you ate, you laughed, and genuinely enjoyed his company. Honestly, it was the best date you’d ever been on.

“I have to be honest with you,” Jungkook spoke after he finished his raw steak. “I have an ulterior motive for asking you here tonight.”

“Oh,” you mumbled around the shrimp you had just tossed in your mouth. “So…this isn’t a date?”

“No, it is,” Jungkook clarified quickly around a dry chuckle. He seemed…nervous. It put you on edge immediately. “This is definitely a date. And, also, more.”

“More? What, is this a proposal too?” You were joking. A 100% joking. But Jungkook was staring at you so seriously it made you panic. “Jungkook, if you get down on one knee here I swear-”

“I’m not proposing,” he assured you. “This is something more than that.”

“More?” You parroted. Jungkook sighed.

“Do you know what a true mate is?”

Right there, in that quaint little bistro, on a date with quite possibly the most untouchable man you’d ever met, he explained how you were irrevocably his. His true mate, his soulmate.

Jungkook explained everything in great detail, which you appreciated, because honestly, you had no words. He explained how when he was born, the witch who cared for him told his father that his future glared brightly ahead of him, but only when he met his other half. True mates were rare. Mating was common, the wolves in his pack could have multiple mates or a lifelong one, but true mates were destiny. Someone or something out there had forged the two of you together. You were essentially each others other half. He was made for you and you were made for him.

“But…aren’t true mates only for wolves? I thought it’s impossible for a human to be a true mate,” you asked in a shaky voice once Jungkook took a breath.

“It was supposed to be impossible. Until, I met you.” Jungkook stared at you with a sort of reverence that made your entire body blush. “I have no idea how you are. I’ve spent hours researching. I’ve consulted with members of my pack and others. No one knows why.”

“Are you sure, though? I mean…what if you’re wrong?”

“I’m not.” Jungkook shook his head. “I visited the witch right after I met you. She took one look at me and told me that I had finally found my true mate. She said she’d never seen a future so bright before.”

You had no words for that. For the first time in your life, you were speechless. Jungkook seemed to understand. He let you sit in silence as he paid for the bill and walked you out to the car. The drive back to your parents house was the same. You couldn’t speak. The shock rendered you stupid.

By the time Jungkook pulled into the driveway you still hadn’t spoken a word to each other. You stepped out of the car before he could open the door for you. Walking up to the porch steps in a trance, you didn’t hear him follow you until he clasped your wrist in his hand. Turning to face him, you were surprised to see his brown eyes so big. They practically sparkled in the moonlight and he looked so soft and sweet you nearly melted into the wood beneath your feet.

“Please,” he whispered. “Can you…just - are you okay? You’ve been so quiet. I’m worried I’ve scared you off or something.”

With that voice, it was impossible to deny him. So, you said the first thing that popped in your head. “Do we have to make it Facebook official?”

Jungkook stared at you before bursting into laughter. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

You blushed and glanced down. “I’m just worried, that’s all. I can’t remember my Facebook password so even if you wanted to change it I don’t think it’ll work.”

“So that’s why you never accepted my friend request,” Jungkook teased. Before you could squeak out a response, he wrapped his arms around your waist and tugged you forward. You kept your arms crossed across your chest but let yourself fall against him.

“Don’t make fun of me,” you whined as you buried your face into his shoulder. He smelled so good, a mixture of pine and spice. “My brain hasn’t worked since you told me I’m yours, so bear with me.”

Jungkook chuckled and gently swayed you from side to side. “Does that mean you’re okay with this? All of this?”

Sighing, you lifted your head up and stepped away from him. Jungkook was not impressed and pulled you back to him. Your heart swelled in your chest and you wrapped your arms around his neck in consolation. “Honestly? I haven’t really processed anything. You’ve had your whole life to come to terms with this. I just found out thirty minutes ago that I’m someone’s soulmate. It’s a lot to take in.”

Jungkook nodded as he tapped his fingers against your hips. “I know. It’s a lot…I’m a lot. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to be with me. I won’t-”

Now it was your turn to burst into laughter. You couldn’t believe those words had left his mouth. It was easily the most absurd thing you’d ever heard. “Jungkook, I want to make something very clear. I have no problem being your true mate. That’s not the issue here. Well, there really isn’t an issue. It’s just…hard to believe, I guess. I have to process that this is my new reality.”

“Really?” Jungkook perked up and looked so fucking cute you couldn’t help but cup his cheeks. His skin was so warm despite the cold autumn air that surrounded you both. “You want to do this? Be with me? Be mine?” All you could do was nod. You were so overwhelmed with emotions. The shock was evident, but a piece of you was so happy. You felt whole.

Jungkook’s face split into a wide smile that caused his nose to scrunch up. He wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you around. Squealing, you slung your legs around his hips and held on. Normally, you’d rather die than show this much affection to someone. But, this was Jungkook. Your soulmate.

“So…what do we do now?” You asked once Jungkook set you down. “Is there, like, a ceremony or something?”

“I have no idea,” he admitted as he stared down at you. He had a hand against your jaw and was rubbing your cheek tenderly. “I really didn’t think I’d get this far.”

You scoffed at his ridiculousness. While recognizing you were Jungkook’s true mate was going to take some time, believing that he thought you’d deny him was utter nonsense. “What if…what if we date, first?” You suggested timidly. “I know that sounds kind of weird considering we’re supposed to be the loves of each others lives. But, I don’t really know you all that well. And, I think this is going to take sometime for me to get used to. Maybe we should date, get to know each other, and just learn how to be with one another.”

“Whatever you want,” Jungkook agreed. “We can do whatever you want. Just as long as I have you, I’m happy.”

Two years passed.

Two blissful, wonderful years. Two years of dating, two years of loving, two years of being Jeon Jungkook’s. It was everything you could’ve asked for and more. You had never felt so loved and cherished in your entire life. He respected you, he took care of you, and most importantly, he was there for you in every sense. Since the moment you met him, you hadn’t been alone. He hadn’t let you. Jungkook knew you better than you knew yourself.

And, it was the same for him. You were there for him when he transitioned into the leader of his pack. You were there when he took over the CEO position from his father and encouraged and supported him every step of the way. You let yourself be loved and in return he let you love him. It was wonderful.

Except, for one tiny thing.

While the emotional aspect of your relationship flourished and bloomed into something beautiful, the physical side remained stagnant. Make out sessions and heavy petting were a norm in your relationship. At first, it didn’t bother you. In fact, you loved that Jungkook was taking things so slow and so seriously. But, eventually, your needs began to grow. You found yourself wanting him in more ways than one, wants that only he could satisfy. Jungkook refused. Every time.

It wasn’t like he refused your every need. No, Jungkook was extremely attentive. When it came to himself, that’s when things got dicy. He had no problem spending hours between your legs, worshipping you until you were crying from the overstimulation. Yet, he wouldn’t let you anywhere near him. Not without lack of trying on your part. The minute your hands went down to his waistband, he pushed you away. Every time you tried to dip your mouth to the obvious bulge in his pants, he lifted you up and kissed you breathless until you forgot your name. It wasn’t until after a year of dating that he finally let you grind on his clothed cock. Even then, he held off until you finished and then walked out with quite possibly the worst case of blue balls. You hated that he did this to himself. The worst part was, you couldn’t understand why.

The one time you had brought it up to him it had resulted in the worst fight the two of you had ever gotten into. It was the only argument that was never really resolved. After the yelling and the tears, all you got out of Jungkook was that mating with a wolf was not pretty. It was extremely dangerous and he refused to put you in that kind of danger. End of discussion. No matter how hard you tried to persuade him or broach the subject, he shut it down. Hard. Eventually, you gave up.

He even spent his ruts away from you. Every three months, he left you for a week. You knew he had a place somewhere up in the mountains and you assumed that’s where he went. You had no idea. There was no point even asking to come along. You loved your boyfriend and didn’t want to purposely give him a heart attack. You hated it when he left. As much as you tried to hide it and convince him that you were just fine, he wasn’t stupid. Being away from him was tough. A piece of you was missing whenever he was gone. And you were only whole again when he returned.

This past week had been one of those weeks. He had left on Sunday for the mountains. He was agitated and clingy, how he normally was pre-rut. Jungkook wouldn’t let you leave his side and you spent most of the weekend on his lap or wrapped in his arms. Not that you minded. When he left your parents house on Sunday night, you’d had to coax him out of the door. Promising him that you’d be okay and that you’d see him next week. It wasn’t until several kisses later did Jungkook finally leave.

While you’d been doing this for two years, it never got easier. More manageable? Sure. But definitely not easier. All you could do was go through the motions. You went to work at the local bakery, came home and helped your mom with dinner, watched TV with your dad before going to bed. Taehyung and Jimin would visit often, threatened by Jungkook to keep you company. While you assured them it wasn’t necessary, you secretly didn’t mind. They made you laugh and made you temporarily forget your boyfriend was miles away from you. Sometimes, if you were lucky, he’d call you to tell you goodnight. But those times were rare. Normally, you didn’t hear from him until Friday or Saturday when he was finally coming out of his rut and returning to the world.

By the time Sunday rolled around, you were a jittery ball of nerves. Not in a bad sense. You were just excited. The anticipation killed you and it took all of your willpower to sit and wait for his text to tell you to come over. Your parents always left you alone on these Sundays, unable to deal with your hyperactiveness and constant fidgeting.

This Sunday was no different. You puttered around your room for the better part of the day. You spent the other part in the kitchen, baking like your life depended on it. Jungkook loved your cookies and you always made sure to come over with at least three batches after his ruts. He always said that was his second favorite part about coming home, after seeing you, of course.

You had just finished packaging the final batch in a glass cookie jar when your phone dinged. You didn’t have to read the message, you knew exactly what it said. Pure joy rushed through your system as you threw on your coat and shouted a hasty goodbye to your parents. Juggling the cookies and car keys, you sprinted to your car. The drive to Jungkook’s was thankfully not long. About ten minutes, as long as you didn’t hit any traffic on the main road. Luck was on your side, though, and you showed up at Jungkook’s house in eight minutes.

Taehyung’s car was in the driveway when you pulled up, which wasn’t odd. Although Jungkook owned the house, the members of his pack were almost always around. While most preferred to travel in their wolf forms, you knew Taehyung and Namjoon preferred cars. Something about being able to listen to their own music without comments from the peanut gallery. You didn’t really understand and didn’t really need to. You had just chalked it up as one of their many quirks.

Carrying the trays of cookies in both hands, you shut your car door with your foot before speed-walking up the stone walkway to Jungkook’s home. The screen door was shut, but the wooden door was swung wide open. You had just reached for the metal handle when you heard it.

A deep, threatening growl ripped through the peaceful quiet and froze you in place. You knew it was Jungkook. While you had only heard it once, you’d never forgotten it. It was when the two of you had attended a party and an alpha from a neighboring pack had cornered you in the hallway. Jungkook had found you cowered against the wall as the other alpha had caged you in. The sound that had left his chest had given you equal parts comfort and fear. Comfort, because he was there and you knew you were safe. Fear, because you could see in the way he bared his teeth and how his muscles vibrated, he had been furious and bloodthirsty.

That’s what you felt now, fear.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

From your vantage point in front of the screen door, you could see directly into the kitchen. Taehyung was leaning against the granite countertop and Jungkook was seated at the island. The tension was so thick you practically choked on it.

“Enough, Taehyung.”

“No,” Taehyung snapped, seeming just as angry as Jungkook. “I’m not dropping it. Not this time.”

“Yes, you will,” Jungkook snarled. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Too fucking bad.” While Taehyung was also an alpha, he acted so much like a beta you never really noticed. Until now. “I’m not going to sit by and watch you do this to yourself anymore. Not spending your ruts correctly is only causing you more harm than good.”

“I’m doing things the way I want to, and it’s working-”

“The hell it is!” Jungkook growled at the interruption but Taehyung ignored him. “It’s not working, and you know it. Anyone with two fucking eyes knows it. It’s getting so bad that the pack is noticing, too. Even Namjoon has realized something is wrong, and he’s as oblivious as they come.”

“If they have a problem with me they can take it up with me.”

“No, they can’t. Because you won’t listen. Your head is so far up your ass you can’t even hear yourself anymore. What you’re doing right now is not working. Something needs to change.”

“Like what?” Jungkook spat.

“You know what,” Taehyung bit back. Jungkook was practically vibrating from rage. You knew you needed to go get someone, someone from the pack to calm the two of them down. Things were only escalating, but you couldn’t move. Your brain screamed at you to run but your legs were rooted in place. “That’s is what’s so frustrating, Jungkook. This, all of this, could be solved. She’s right there-”

“Don’t.” Jungkook stood up so fast the chair he sat on flew backwards and hit the wall with a resounding crack.

“Why?” Taehyung threw his arms up in the air. “Why not? I don’t get it-”

“Because I don’t want her!” Jungkook yelled, the force of it rang throughout the house. You had no idea who the she was that they were referring to. You assumed it was someone from the pack. It was well-known that wolves with human mates sometimes turned to other she-wolves to help with their ruts. You figured that’s what Jungkook did whenever he went away for a week. It had bothered you at first, but you knew he had his needs and that they were at a biological level. You refused to make him feel guilty or ashamed for taking care of himself.

“You don’t want her?” Taehyung was enraged. You could tell by the way he straightened his spine and unfurled himself to his full height. Jungkook bristled in response and the muscles in his back strained against the thin material of his shirt.

“No, I don’t!” Jungkook exploded. “What don’t you understand about that? I don’t want her around me. I don’t need her, I’m fine on my own. The thought of having her there when…God - it makes me physically ill.”

“She’s your girlfriend. Above all of that, your true mate. You’re seriously going to deny yourself of her, for what? Just because you don’t like having her around?”

Oh.

That’s when it hit you. They weren’t talking about some random she-wolf. They were talking about you. You were the one Jungkook didn’t want. You were the one Jungkook didn’t need. You were the one he didn’t like having around. As the weight of the words sunk into your mind, you felt your chest becoming tighter and tighter.

Then, you’re heart broke right in half. You dropped the container of cookies and didn’t flinch when it shattered against the wooden slats. The sound unstuck your feet from their position on the porch and your fight or flight system took over. Without a second thought, you turned on your heel and ran.

You didn’t know if anyone was behind you, you didn’t turn around to check. Hands fumbled for the car door as you threw yourself into the drivers side. Pain ricocheted throughout your chest cavity and you struggled to breathe. Your brain was blank, the only thing your mind did was move your body to get you somewhere safe. You had to leave and you had to leave now.

Miraculously, your fingers found your keys and inserted them into the ignition on the second try. A flutter of movement occurred to the left of you but your eyes didn’t let you look that way. Instead, they focused on the rearview mirror as you reversed out of the driveway. Your right hand found the gearshift and moved it to drive. Soon, you were tearing down the street as your ears refused to register the agonized howls that echoed behind as you kept staring forward. Adrenaline pumped through your system and your body shivered in response, the splash of hormones had created a blanket of fake calm over you. The emotions, the pain, the thoughts were swirling inside of you, ready to break free and drown you, but your brain wouldn’t allow it.

It wasn’t until you reached the end of your long driveway that you felt the original spike of adrenaline fade away. Your mother was in the front, tending to the flowers, and looked up when she saw your car fly into its usual spot. She stood up and her face twisted into a frown when you got out of your seat.

“Honey, your aura…it’s concerning.” The blanket was yanked away and the pain crashed over you.

You couldn’t say a word, all you could do was collapse in your mother's arms and cry, cry, cry.

It took you two days to calm down. The tears had stopped rolling and your shoulders no longer shook from trying to hold your sobs behind your teeth. Your mother hadn’t left your side, leaving your father to answer the door whenever someone knocked. The only person who did was Taehyung and Jimin. Jungkook never showed up.

Well, that was a lie.

Jungkook did show up every morning and night, without fail. But he never came to your doorstep.  Instead, he was in the woods behind your house, patrolling, not daring to leave the protection of the forest. A part of you wondered if he was respecting your obvious need for space or if your mother had paid a witch to set up boundary lines that didn’t allow him to cross. Either way, you were grateful that you couldn’t see him. There was an incessant tugging in your heart to be near him but you staunchly ignored it, which would’ve been impossible if you saw his achingly beautiful face.

I don’t want her. I don’t need her. Having her there makes me physically ill. Those three sentences played in a constant loop in your head, like a horror movie you couldn’t escape from. You were the protagonist who couldn’t escape the maze, but the villain wasn’t kind enough to kill you off. No matter what you did, your brain wouldn’t stop repeating those three sentences. Your mother burned sage, she pressed crystals into your palms, she muttered ritual after ritual, but nothing worked.

You hated how affected you were. You had always told yourself that you would never be the girl who’d get so wrapped up in someone else they didn’t know who they were anymore. Independence was something you prided yourself on, but you seemed to be at a complete loss now. You couldn’t stop the waves of sadness and self-hatred at your depressed state. It was amazing how empty you felt yet so full of pain at the same time. Your mind and heart couldn’t seem to decide which hurt worse; your heart for having your soulmate so obviously reject you, or your brain for trying to make sense of the situation. When did this happen? How did this happen? How had you been so blind as to not see it?

“I don’t think we’re soulmates,” you rasped to your mom on the third morning. It had been the first words you had spoken to her since you had fell into her arms. She looked up from the bundle of herbs she was smoking.

“Why do you say that?”

You stared at your hands that had curled in on themselves. “I don’t make him happy. I-I never realized how uncomfortable I made him. I wish I had known. How did I miss it?”

Your mother tutted gently and gathered you in her arms. She smelled of lavender and wax. “This is good. I’m glad you’re letting yourself have this moment. Let’s sit in this and allow yourself to be embedded here.” But you didn’t want to have this moment. You didn’t want to have any moment and you’ve felt enough to last a lifetime. Instead, you rolled over, let sleep overtake you and tried to ignore the distant howling that rattled your window pane.

By nightfall of the fourth day, you were forced out of bed. Partly by choice, partly by force. Your parents had dipped out to run to the grocery store, despite your mother’s insistence that she could stay. You and your father managed to convince her to leave and you had gotten up to wave them goodbye. Sure, your heart was broken, but the least you could do was kiss them on the cheek before they left. You had turned around to shuffle into the kitchen to try and shovel something down your dry throat when a loud knock sounded at the front door. Hesitating, you carefully peeked through the kitchen window and saw Jimin on your front doorstep, dressed in all black.

Sighing, you stumbled over and pulled the door open. You figured you couldn’t avoid them for much longer. “Hey, Jimin.”

“Christ, you look like shit.”

You huffed out a laugh as Jimin stared at you in horror, not having the energy to be offended. You also knew, in a weird way, that this was Jimin’s way of caring for you. “Yeah. My mother’s covered all the mirrors in the house.”

Jimin nodded as he glanced at you from head to toe. “I want to ask if you’re okay but…” He gestured to your gaunt frame swaddled in a heavy sweatshirt and sweatpants. For the first time in two years, they were your own clothes, not Jungkook’s.

“I’m fine, Jimin,” you heaved a heavy sigh and leaned against the doorframe. “Do you want to come in? I think my mom boiled some tea not too long ago.”

Jimin shook his head. “Can’t. Jungkook would have a fit if I got that close to you right now. I’m already pushing my luck just by showing up.” He doesn’t care, you thought bitterly, and almost said it out loud but you caught yourself at the last second. Jimin wasn’t stupid, though. He knew what you were thinking. “Hey,” he murmured, eyes going soft, “are you ready to talk about it?”

“No.” You shook your head. A wave of sadness washed over you but the telltale prick of tears didn’t come.

Jimin understood. He tucked his hands into his pockets as he rocked back onto his heels. “Are you going to talk to him?”

Letting out a heavy breath, you crossed your arms over your chest. “I know I have to. I just…I just need time.”

“Take however long you need.”

It was another 48-hours before you finally snapped. While you had spent the majority of the two days that had passed to make yourself resemble a human being, you couldn’t focus. You couldn’t move on. Why?

Because Jungkook wouldn’t leave you alone.

His presence was constant. He circled your house every hour of ever day, the large shadow of him in wolf form darkened the trees behind your house. The howling had stopped but the pacing hadn’t. You hoped he was at least sleeping, but then you got annoyed at yourself for caring. You didn’t know why he was out there, it made no sense. Jungkook’s words were so different from his actions it made your head spin.

But, you needed to move on with your life. You had to. The only way it was going to happen was if Jungkook did too. It hurt. God, did it hurt. Yet, as sad and utterly pathetic as it sounded, you were used to the pain at this point, had resigned yourself to it. A part of you worried you wouldn’t know what to do without it.

Shaking off that depressing thought, you tugged on your rain boots and stepped outside for the first time in a week. The air was heavy with the promise of rain, the clouds low and gray. You tugged the hood up on your sweater to prevent your hair from completely frizzing out before you walked to down the back deck steps.

The backyard of your parents house was expansive. The home you had grown up in sat on top of a sloping hill that your mother had turned into her personal greenhouse. You stepped past rows of raised garden beds and pruned plants until you reached the line where the neatly mowed grass met the twisted ferns of the forest floor. As you had suspected, the ground was scorched with the evidence of past rituals. While your mother hadn’t out right admitted, you had figured someone had come and created a boundary line. It was obviously specific to Jungkook since Jimin and Taehyung were still able to visit. While your mother’s methods were extreme, you understood. As difficult as it was to move on with your life with Jungkook sequestered to the forest, you couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like if he was within a few feet of you.

With a deep inhale, you sat down on the damp grass and waited. After a few minutes, you could hear the faint sounds of paws hitting the wet earth. The galloping got louder and louder until there was a momentary stretch of silence before it changed to footsteps.

When Jungkook emerged from the trees, you weren’t prepared. Although you knew you wouldn’t be, you still weren’t expecting it to hurt this bad. Your chest squeezed painfully at the first look of his broad form. Technically, it had been two weeks since you two had truly seen each other, the longest you’d ever gone. What hurt the most was how badly you longed for him. You wanted nothing more than to run straight into his arms, bury your face into his chest, and forget everything. Just forgive and give your heart what it wanted. But you remained firmly in place.

Jungkook looked as if he had seen a ghost. Which, to be fair, was probably true since you hadn’t seen the sun in seven days. His normally golden skin was pale and even from where you sat you could see the dark circles bruising under his eyes. Clearly, he hadn’t been sleeping. You hated that you noticed. You hated that you cared. He was dressed in all black and his chest strained against the material of his sweater. His hands were balled into tight fists at his side and the sight reminded you of why you were here.

“Hi.” Probably wasn’t the best start but it was the best you could do. Jungkook didn’t respond so you soldiered on. “I-I know you don’t want to be here, so I’ll make this quick. I just…wanted to apologize. I had no idea I made you so uncomfortable. I’m not sure how long you’ve felt this way about me, not that it really matters, but I wish you had told me sooner. Maybe things would’ve been easier for you, who knows.” You released a heavy sigh and tried to shove down the stone in your throat as you forced the next words out of your mouth. “But, all of that doesn’t matter anymore. I think I understand what you need, now. I know you loved me at one point, but I’m obviously not what you need anymore. And…t-that’s okay - I swear it is. All I want is for you to be happy, Jungkook. And I think, in order for that to happen, I need to move on. We both need to move on-”

“Stop it,” Jungkook broke in with a harsh voice that cut your sentence in half. “Stop talking.”

It felt like he had slapped you in the face. A wave of humiliation washed over you and you visibly flinched. Staggering to your feet, you locked your gaze onto your boots in an attempt to hide the tears that dripped down your nose. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, not expecting it to change anything. You began to turn away but Jungkook stopped you in your tracks, again.

“Wait, no - stop. Stop. Please…don’t go,” he pleaded. When you turned around, his eyes were frantic. Jungkook’s hand was raised from his side as if he thought about reaching out to you but something stopped him. His words were at war with one another and you were caught in the middle, at a loss for what he was trying so desperately to convey to you.

“Jungkook, I’m so confused.”

“I know. I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.” Jungkook tucked his head into his hands before dropping down into a squat. “This is all wrong. This is all so wrong.”

You knew you should walk away. You had said your piece, it was time to move on, just as you had said. Yet, you couldn’t. It was as if your heart was tethered to him and your body couldn’t handle the pain of walking away. “Listen-”

“I don’t know what to do.” He cut you off but the bubbles of anger that had risen from being interrupted popped once you saw how lost he looked. His tattooed fingers threaded through his hair, allowing you to see the pure anguish that twisted his features. “Whenever I feel like this, I come to you. Because you always know what to do. Any situation, no matter what, you can handle it. It’s something I’ve always admired about you.”

The way he spoke to you now, so reverently and so full of awe, made your head spin. Nothing made sense.  It was such a blatant contrast to the brutality that he had spat out a week ago. As much as you wanted to believe what he said now, those stupid words could not get out of your head. It was a constant reminder that never shut up.

“I don’t know what to do either,” you admitted in a quiet voice.

“Tell me,” Jungkook begged, as if he couldn’t and refused to comprehend what you had just told him. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Whatever you want from me, I’ll give you.”

You were shaking your head before he could finish. “There’s nothing you can do, Jungkook. Nothing.”

“Don’t say that.” He stared at you, horrified. “Don’t say that to me. Please, there has to be something.”

“What could there be?” You cried. Tears streamed down your cheeks now. “You said it yourself, being near me makes you sick. Why would I stay? Why would you want me to? I refuse to make you uncomfortable anymore - so that’s that.”

“It isn’t,” Jungkook argued back. “It can’t be. I-I can’t lose you, I can’t. I need to make this right, please just let me. Please.”

But, you were tired. You were so fucking tired. You were exhausted of the emotional rollercoaster that you were on that you just wanted to crawl away and hide. All the fight seeped out of you as your shoulders slumped forward. Jungkook saw this and the blood drained from his face. You were giving up, he could see it, and it scared the shit out of him.

“Jungkook, I need to go, okay? I-I can’t do this.”

“No!” Jungkook shouted and shot up to his feet. The pure panic that choked his voice brought on a fresh set of tears that you struggled to hold back. “Just let me explain, okay? I swear to God, after you hear what I have to say, if you still want me to, I’ll let you go. I won’t fight you on it. But, please let me tell you the truth. Give me a chance to make this right. You deserve that.”

You hesitated for a moment. Deep down, you knew you should let him talk. Not because you necessarily thought he deserved to, but because he was right. You did deserve the truth, no matter how much it broke your heart. With a heavy sigh and a quick swipe of your cheeks, you nodded. Once Jungkook was sure you weren’t going to leave, he began pacing. Looking every bit like the wild animal you knew him to be but never got to see.

“Mating with a werewolf is…brutal. It’s intense, it’s painful and it isn’t pretty. It’s essentially a breeding session where I use you as a vessel to fulfill my innate biological needs. It’s not romantic, it’s not gentle. Even for she-wolves it can be too much. The thought of subjecting you to something like that - that type of pain…I couldn’t fathom it. I don’t think you understand just how precious you are to me. The image of you being battered and bruised because of me, something I did…it tormented me, day and night.” He paused for a moment, the pained look in his eyes made you shiver. You hated that he had gone through all of this turmoil on his own, and you especially hated how you never made more of an effort to try and relieve him of it.

“I couldn’t do it. That’s partially the reason I waited so long to tell you that you were my true mate. I knew ruts were something I would never expose you to even though it’s such a huge part of my life, a wolf’s life.” Jungkook looked you straight in the eye, the intensity of his dark gaze took your breath away. “I know the practices other wolves partake in when their own heats or ruts arrive. I know you know them too. But, I need you to understand something. The moment you allowed me to be yours and vice versa, I haven’t had anyone else since. I swear on my life, I’ve spent every single one of my ruts alone. I wouldn’t and I won’t do that to you.”

“Isn’t that painful, though?” Your voice cracked but neither one of you acknowledged it. While your knowledge on ruts were expansive, having done plenty of research since being with Jungkook, you had obviously never experienced one.

“It’s manageable. It’s way more painful for a she-wolf to go through her heat alone than it is for a male.” Jungkook clenched and unclenched his fists as he resumed his pacing. “The worst part is being away from you. I’ve been going through ruts since puberty, I can handle them. But not being able to be with you for a whole week…I hated it. Still do. I dread that three month mark. And as time went on, I became more and more miserable. Being apart from you was almost unbearable but the other option…I never even allowed myself to consider it.

“It came to the point where the pack was noticing. I wasn’t getting the proper pheromonal release from my ruts and it was beginning to affect those around me. Taehyung has been on my ass for months now to get over myself and take you with me during my next rut. Each time I’d give him some excuse, but it was getting harder and harder to justify what I was doing. At first, I was convinced it was because I was protecting you. But you’ve been so understanding and so patient with me and my life, those excuses were becoming useless. Eventually, I think it was because I was protecting myself. I was - am - so scared. I’m terrified that I could hurt you when I’m like that. That I wouldn’t be able to notice or worse, ignored, if something happened to you. Living with that type of fear became debilitating. So, I just kept my mouth shut and kept you away from that part of me.”

Jungkook shook his head and chuckled humorlessly. “Now I know that was the worst possible thing I could do. That I was just hurting you more. What you walked into last Sunday was a culmination of my frustrations that I was refusing to deal with. While it’s not a valid reason, I’m well aware of that, I need you to know that what you heard was not the truth. It couldn’t be further from it. Because the truth is that I’m hopelessly in love with you and the thought of being without you hurts worse than I ever thought was possible.”

It wasn’t the first nor would it be the last time that Jungkook left you speechless. It took you a full minute to process what he had said. Jungkook granted you the silence although he became increasingly more agitated as time passed. His boots scuffed the dead leaves that littered the ground and his pacing led him closer to the ashes that lay before your feet. Then, he’d suddenly stalk off with a growl as he was forced to keep away.

“I-” you cleared your throat around the lump that had found a home there. “I had no idea. This whole time…I thought it was because you didn’t want me.”

“God, no.” Jungkook swore heavily as his muscles bunched and coiled beneath his clothes. “The - the fact that…you - fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. That’s not it, that’s not it at all. You’re my dream girl, you’re the love of my life, and I want you every second of every day.”

Maybe it’s because you were emotionally drained and had no mental strength left. Maybe, you needed to hear those words from Jungkook more than you realized. Whatever the reason was, it wasn’t worth trying to figure out an explanation as you sunk to the ground and burst into tears.

Jungkook lost it across from you. Broken whines stained the air as he carded through his hair anxiously. He kept trying to get to you, to try to soothe you. But the boundary was unfortunately doing its job and each attempt was met with failure. Curses were spat out until eventually, he got as close as the boundary would let him and fell to his knees. He began spewing whatever came to mind first, unsure of what to do. All he knew was that you were crying because of him and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He thought hearing you cry from your bedroom window was torture, but nothing could compare to hearing you break down in front of him. Nothing. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m sorry…please, I’m so sorry. I - don’t cry, darling. Please don’t. I’m so sorry I hurt you, I didn’t mean to, I swear.”

It wasn’t tears of heartbreak that leaked from your eyes. Instead, it was tears of relief. While your heart had wholly accepted his words as the truth, the logical part of you reminded yourself that the two of you had way more talking to do. This was far from over, but the relief of knowing that he loved you and he was yours…it was indescribable.

You finally lifted your head up and were shocked to find Jungkook’s cheeks glistening with moisture. Your only thought was to comfort him as you scrambled forward to do just that. Instead of feeling his smooth skin against the palm of your hand, you were blocked by what felt like a wall although nothing stood in your way. Frowning, you realized with a start that the boundary worked both ways. Jungkook let out a frustrated growl as he glared at the ashes that was stopping both of you from getting what you wanted. It was silent for a few moments until an idea popped into your head.

“Wait here,” you announced before jumping up and taking off for the house. Ignoring Jungkook’s distressed cry, you ran inside. You yanked your car keys off from their designated hook and quickly typed out a text to your parents to let them know where you were going before spinning around and sprinting back outside. Jungkook was where you left him, although he stumbled to his feet when he saw you reappear.

“I’m going to your house,” you announced, breathless. “No witch is stupid enough to go that far into werewolf territory. If you want to talk to me there, then follow me.”

Jungkook stared at you for a heartbeat until the words you spoke clicked. “Y-yeah. Yes. Okay. I’ll be there.”

With a curt nod, you ran to your car. For the first time in a week, a faint sprout of hope bloomed in your chest.

It was the longest and shortest ten minutes of your life. The drive to Jungkook’s seemed to last a lifetime but also was over within a blink of an eye. The tears had stopped flowing by the time you pulled your car into his driveway, but you felt the telltale prick in your eyes when you saw him burst from the trees. Your heart ached as his long legs ate up the distance between you two as you wrestled with your seatbelt and threw the car into park. By the time you freed yourself, he was at the hood of your car.

The two of you stared at each other for a few breathless moments. You weren’t sure who moved first, but it didn’t matter as you crashed into each other’s arms. The moment his searing warmth enveloped you, you dissolved into another puddle of sobs. The feeling of his thick arms banded across your back, his torso molded to yours, and his hair tickling your ear, felt so right. Another wave of crippling relief washed over you and you practically melted against Jungkook. But he held you up, just like he always had.

He leaned against the front bumper while his hands were everywhere. Cradling your head into his neck, smoothing over your hips, or running circles over your shoulders. He was crying, you could feel the tears dampening your hair. But you were soaking his shirt so no one was in any position to complain.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t,” Jungkook hissed fiercely as he squeezed you tighter. “Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault, not in the slightest.”

“Kook,” you sighed and pulled your head back to get a good look at him. “It takes two to tango.”

“Not this time,” he argued. “You’ve put up with so much. You’re everything I could’ve asked for and more. It was my own fears that got in the way and created this mess. And I’m so sorry for that, darling. I’m so fucking sorry.”

You shushed him gently, running your thumbs over his cheeks to swipe at the dried tears. “I know you’re sorry. I believe you.”

Jungkook dipped his head further into your touch with a pleased rumble vibrating through his chest. He kissed your palm gently, sniffing at your wrist. It made you giggle. “Missed that,” Jungkook mumbled as he stared at you with stars in his eyes. “Missed you. Missed you so much.”

A fresh wave of tears cascaded down your cheeks. You were positive that you looked like a mess, hair in a knotted bun, face red and puffy and you kept sniffling every two seconds. But Jungkook looked at you as if you held the world in your hands. “Missed you too,” you murmured in return. “Please, next time, just talk to me. I may not have the answers you’re looking for all the time, but I’ll always be here to listen.”

“I know,” Jungkook whispered. “There won’t be a next time, promise. If I happen to be stupid enough to put us in this position again, I give you full permission to punch me in the face.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You lifted yourself onto your toes to brush your lips against his, dropping back down to your feet when his head chased after yours. “Or maybe I just won’t kiss you for a week.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened comically and he actually looked terrified. “I’d rather you just punched me in the face.” You tilted your head back and laughed. Jungkook tugged you closer and nosed your throat before peppering gentle kisses along the exposed skin. Sighing happily, you tilted your head to allow him better access and rested your cheek on his shoulder.

“I love you,” you said quietly. Jungkook froze for a split second before he sank against you. Squeaking in shock, you scrambled to brace yourself against the sudden weight pressing you towards the house.

“Say it again,” Jungkook pleaded. You couldn’t deny him. Dusting feather light kisses to the shell of his ear, you repeated those three words again, and again, and again. Each time you did, Jungkook held you a little tighter and cried a little harder.

Eventually, you’re murmured promises became softer and softer until the two of you just enjoyed each others presence. “C’mon,” you finally whispered as you started to lift yourself off of him. Jungkook growled and refused to let you move an inch farther. “Kook, come on. Let’s go inside. Your ass must be numb by now.”

“Don’t care,” he grumbled but he at least shuffled forward a bit more so that your combined weight wasn’t squashing his ass against your car.

“You might say that now, but you won’t be saying that later.”

Jungkook grunted at your logic but he at least raised his head and looked at you with the sweetest eyes. “Please tell me you’re staying.”

Giggling, you asked, “do you want me to?”

“Obviously,” he scoffed. “I want you here forever.” Jungkook tilted his head thoughtfully. “Actually, you should just move in with me.”

Christ, this boy was going to give you whiplash. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Jungkook, we just made up. The whole reason we were in this mess is because of poor communication. Don’t you think we should work on that first before anything else?”

“But…we could work on communication all the time if we’re together 24/7.” Despite his pout, you knew he wasn’t totally serious. Although you were sure it was going to come up again.

“Alright, you maniac,” you said fondly. “Take me to bed.” Jungkook’s chest rumbled happily as he lifted you up and wrapped your legs around his trim waist.

It wasn’t a long walk to his bedroom, but the exhaustion of the past week caught up to you and the gentle rocking of his steps lulled you into a serene state. Not quite asleep, but not quite awake either. You were aware when Jungkook placed you on his bed, practically engulfed in his scent. The last thing you remember before falling asleep was the words Jungkook pressed into your hair has he slid in behind you.

“Love you forever, my darling girl.”

©jcwritings Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without my permission.

LINKS:

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[robinofgothamcity]

♡ scenario: connor losing his mind when you're hurt and charging into the fight recklessly.

♡ pairing: connor kent ( superboy ) x fem! reader

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / i'm sorry but i'm living for these angst to fluff moments rn especially bc i rewatched reign of the superman and forgot how much i loved connor in it.

Connor watched as you were completely slumped on the side of the building, no longer clear headed and struggling to stay awake. what was supposed to be a clean and easy mission turned out to be more than what the league expected.

he had requested for back up and while they were already trying to fight off the thugs that were attacking Connor, he could still see that you were fighting to stay alive and he had no idea if you were even going to come out of this fight alive.

"what the fuck?" Connor whispered, seeing you now slumped on the ground. he turned to the person who attacked you, eyes fully red with no intention of holding back. Clark could sense his song was a second away from committing murder as he saw Connor charge into the heart of the battle with no game plan, just murder.

"SUPERBOY NO!"

+

you waved shyly to the group of league members as you hid behind Wonder Woman. you were new to the scene of sidekicks and had no idea how to even introduce yourself without sounding like a complete idiot.

"woah new girl!" you heard a male voice say as you stood in your place petrified. you had no idea who it was as Diana had yet to individually introduce you to everyone, "i call dibs!" you heard the same voice say.

Diana turned to you before grabbing the boy who was charging towards you by the head and tossed him back to Superman, "she's not up for 'dibs' Superboy. she's my newest apprentice and you will treat her as such," she threatened.

you giggled behind her as a few of the sidekicks introduced themselves. you knew them as the Young Justice team and although you weren't formally with the team, you figured Diana was training you to become apart of them in the future.

"( your hero name ), this is Superboy," Wonder Woman said, "he associated to the Super family," she explained as he pushed up his dark circled glasses and flicked his hair back, "pleasure is all mine," he muttered, shaking your hand.

you returned a tiny smile before she continued to introduce you to Robin and Impulse. you noticed how Superboy kept his eyes on you. you had no idea if it was because he liked you or he disliked you but every time you turned to look at him, he was already staring at you.

after introductions and the cliche 'your real identity is sacred' conversation ended, Diana felt it was for your own good to get used to your new 'teammates'. she wanted you to make sure you weren't uncomfortable around any of the YJ team even if that included Superboy.

"so, what do you like to do for fun?" Wonder Girl asked, sitting down next to you and handing you a bowl of popcorn. you shrugged, "uh, not much. I like to watch tv and read for the most part. no one really invites me to do things with them," you admitted, scratching the back of your head.

she laughed, putting her arm around you, "well that ends today! we should all do something fun! how about we go to the county fair? doesn't that sound fun?" she asked. you shrugged, not really opposed to the idea, "I call all the rides with ( your hero name )!" Jinny replied.

you smiled, following her and Wonder Girl out the door as Robin, Impulse, and Superboy followed behind you. Robin looked at him, "you like her don't you?" he asked, already calculating the minute Connor had fallen in love with you.

"well she's apart of the team, i'd like to hope we'd all like her," he replied as Robin shook his head, "no, you get what i mean by that," Robin pressed as he could see Connor's face fall with realization. he didn't reply but he could tell what he was tell Connor's real answer through his face.

as they arrived to the fair, they all booked it to the first food stand they saw. Robin offering to pay for everyone being Bruce Wayne's son had its benefits. you ordered a simple coffee as you didn't want Robin to spend too much on everyone.

"what ride should we all get on first?" Jinny asked excitedly. you pointed to the tallest ride, it was one of those high rides that sat two people at the top and had them spinning around, "oh I can't do that. it's way too scary," both Keli and Jinny said.

Superboy smiled at you, "I'm down if you are," he said as he grabbed two tickets from the worker, "cool," you replied as the two of you walked to the line, sweat already building up from nervousness.

once they sat the two of you and made sure you were both buckled in, you stared at Superboy nervously as the ride started up and pulled you up before immediately starting to spin. you stared at Superboy, screaming for you life. you unintentionally grabbed his arms, not realizing you were holding onto him as you continued to yell.

Superboy chuckled, finding your reaction cute.

+

after the months passed and you finally grew closer to everyone on the team, you were particularly close with Jinny and Superboy. you and Jinny shared a lot of common interests as she showed you how to shoot a gun and Superboy...well, everyone could tell the two of you were just seconds away from actually dating.

you walked into the YJ lair, sipping on hot chocolates with Jinny as the weather was turning cold. she was cracking some cringe dad jokes, trying to make you laugh as you tried to contain from choking on the hot chocolate.

"hey, where we yall at?" Keli asked. you turned to Jinny before giggling, "just doing a few errands we had to run before I had patrol with Superboy," you said, not really clarifying on what you both were actually doing.

although everyone could see how much you liked Connor, Connor himself thought you had a thing with Jinny. he knew she was particularly close with you and felt as though he was practically competing with her for your attention.

"do you have my phone?" you asked Jinny as she dug into her pocket and handed it to you. you grabbed your phone before quickly snatching her hat and putting it on, "yee-haw," you giggled into the mirror as Jinny started chasing you down the halls.

as you turned a corner, you bumped into Superboy and fell flat on your ass, "oh, I'm sorry Superboy, I didn't see you there," you groaned as Jinny grabbed her had and put it back on her, "you've yee'd your last haw," she said, making you laugh harshly.

Superboy's eye couldn't help but twitch as he gave you his hand, "ready for patrol?" he asked sternly. you looked to Jinny who crept away from the angry Kryptonian and left you to deal with him, "yeah, let me just freshen up again and I'll meet you outside," you murmured, going into the bathroom.

you quickly used the bathroom before checking if you had everything. you opened the door and walked into the lair's common area. Connor had yet to drop the angry attitude and everyone was eerily silent as you walked in. he grabbed you by the arm and practically rushed you out the door.

"weird," Jinny told Robin as he shrugged, "what isn't weird about him," he replied making everyone laugh.

patrol started extremely awkward. you hadn't felt this weird since you first started on the team and you had no idea what was wrong with Superboy since he wasn't telling you.

the two of you walked on top of roof, scanning the empty roads before you turned to look at him, "what's up? you seem bothered," you asked him as you both sat on the ledge, "seriously? you seem annoyed at me or something so at the very least you can try and tell me what's wrong," you pressured again.

he looked at you with eyes of determination before grabbing you by the collar of the shirt and pulling you into a very heated kiss. you were taken back by surprise but let him continue to kiss you. a part of yelled at Connor pulled you close but another part of him was still screaming at him that you still could've liked Jinny.

"I had to do that before Jinny officially took you away from me," your eyes fluttered in confusion, "uh, what do you mean by 'take you away from me'?" you asked, not knowing what he was talking about.

Connor sighed in frustration, "I see the way you're around Jinny and figured that she likes you and vice versa," he finally admitted as he stood up, not wanting to hear your response. you quickly stood up and grabbed him by the wrist, "hey wait," you said.

he stared at you, "I'm really not in the mood to get rejected ( your hero name )," he ran his fingers through his hair annoyed. you shook your head, "I don't like Jinny nor does she like me. we're just really close friends Superboy," you whispered, bringing him into another kiss.

this time, he was the one taken back but he melted into the kiss, all his negative emotions washing away as you continued to kiss him. he wrapped his arms around your waist as you him in closer by the neck. Connor was definitely not expecting this tonight.

"so does this mean that we're like....together together?" you asked playfully shy. Connor let out a laugh before lacing your hands together, "clearly. I can't let Jinny steal you away from me," he jokingly replied.

+

Connor ran to the three different henchmen as his strength was to the point of killing, not caring if he died in the process. he was recklessly dodging bullets, knowing they wouldn't do anything to him. he grabbed the first man and threw him against a wall as it collapsed around him. Connor only hoping that it did enough damage to unalive him.

the second one he managed to choke him out enough to the point where he passed out but that wasn't enough for him. you were on the brink of death and if he had to see you die, he was going to make sure the men who possibly killed you got what they deserved.

"SUPERBOY!" he heard his father scream again. Connor paid no attention to him as he grabbed the third henchman and slammed him to the ground, throwing punches left and right, "listen to me," Clark screamed at him.

he could see the tears coming down Connor's face as anger, fear, and sadness clouded his mind, "this is not you! pull out of it!" he yelled, shaking Connor's shoulder, "you're about to kill this man. I get that you're angry but you don't get anything out of hurting him. all you get it consequences and your girlfriend needs you right now more than ever!" he continued.

Connor finally shook himself out of his trance as he heard his dad telling him to go to you. Connor nodded and ran to you, seeing you unconscious and hardly breathing, "I'm taking her to the hospital," he yelled to Batman before hauling your body into his arms and flying towards the nearest hospital.

once he finally reached the emergency doors, he shoved everyone out of his way and to the front desk, "she needs help...NOW!" he yelled to the poor receptionist. the girl jumped up from fear but nodded and screamed for a bed and a few doctors.

the doctor asked Connor to place you on the bed before the doctor told him that he could follow them inside. a part of Connor wanted to straight up move the doctor to follow you into the OR but he knew that he'd get into more trouble with his dad and the MPD if he hurt anyone else.

for what felt like hours, he was waiting inside of the room they had told him you'd be in once you got out of surgery. he had already gotten the lecture from his dad about the consequences he would've gotten if he actually managed to kill the three men earlier.

"she's going to make it," the doctor told Connor as he walked into the room while they adjusted you to the bed. Connor nodded, "she'll be out of duty for months. she sustained a lot of injuries to her body that'll take weeks to recover and she got a nasty concussion so you'll need to play doctor for the next few weeks to make sure she's okay," he explained.

Connor nodded as the doctor told him that you should be waking up within the next few hours. Connor adjusted himself on the seat and got comfortable as he had no intentions of leaving your side until you were awake and ready to leave the hospital.

you woke up a few hours later, your body killing you from all over as you saw balloons all around the room. you knew you had landed in the hospital but you had no idea how long you were asleep or in a coma even. you turned to see Connor passed out next to you, his body slumped awkwardly.

"Kon, Kon wake up!" you whispered, shaking him softly. Connor jumped up in a fright as he immediately realized you were awake, "how do you feel? are you okay? do you need anything?" he immediately asked as you couldn't help but laugh at his frantic attitude.

"Connor, I'm okay, I promise," you whispered as you brought him in for a kiss, "my body just hurts and i'm still kinda tired," you murmured as Connor nodded. you managed to wiggle yourself enough to make space for him, "babe, it looks like you haven't slept in days."

"I had to make sure you were okay so i haven't exactly slept in a while," he admitted sheepishly. you shook your head, "you're too much sometimes," you giggled as you put your head on his shoulder, "but you love me regardless," he replied.

this was the first time the L word had came up in the relationship, "yeah, I guess I do but now you need to sleep," you said as you closed your eyes and felt Connor pull you closer to him, "I love you too by the way," you whispered, giving him another kiss on his partially exposed chest.

[besanii]

I need to know what caused Wei Ying to finally initiate a physical relationship with Xichen. Was it for Lotus pier and what the empress said? He does seem to have some feelings towards Xichen so did he not mind it bc of that? What does Xichen think about this whole thing ahhhhhhhhh so many questions. Sorry Lan Zhan cause ngl I ship them

[ part one (LWJ) | two (LXC) | three (WWX) | four (LWJ) | five (NQY) | six (WWX) | seven (LWJ) ]

[ follows on from six ] 

Alive.

The word washes over him like a wave, bringing with it a rush of joy and relief—his brother is alive—that lasts only a heartbeat before the significance of the news comes crashing down.

His brother is alive.

An arrow to the shoulder, the report had read. Knocked overboard in the heat of the battle and disappearing under the churning waters; for days they searched, picking through the bodies floating amongst the debris long after the Dongying forces had retreated. 

They found him, a day later, half-drowned and delirious with fever, unable to fight. News of his death in battle spread as he lay in his bed, one foot already through the gates of Hell and yet still strategising, planning, during his brief moments of lucidity. Conscious enough to know that they can use his perceived death to their advantage.

And indeed with the loss of Gusu’s greatest commander, their enemies pressed them harder, forcing them to cede waters they had previously held strong. Little did they know they were being lured into a trap, one that would decimate their fleet and end the battle once and for all.

“And how is Hanguang-wang now?” Lan Xichen asks. Only years of experience keeps his voice tightly controlled and his hands relaxed as they rest on the spacious desk before him.

“Replying to Huangshang, Hanguang-wang asked this lowly subject to pass on the message that he is well and not to worry,” the messenger reports. “Hanguang-wang has also said he will stay on to fight until the war is won, as is his duty as the commander of the fleet.” 

As a brother, Lan Xichen knows he should recall Lan Wangji from the front lines, allow him to return to Caiyi to nurse his injuries. As Emperor, if his best commander reports he can continue to fight and his staying on increases their chances of victory, then he has no reason to refuse. As a man—

He tells himself the rush of relief that courses through him at the news is because his brother is well; he does not allow himself to entertain the other reason. It is too shameful to admit, even to himself.

In the end, the Emperor wins out, as it always does.

“Very well,” he says finally, pressing the tips of his fingers together as if he is giving serious consideration to Lan Wangji’s request. “We will grant Hanguang-wang the right to stay, as reward for his loyalty.”

--

He does not call on Chenghuan Hall.

He tells himself it is to give Wei Wuxian space in the wake of such momentous news, to allow him to process it fully in his own time without the added pressure of Lan Xichen’s presence. It is a flimsy excuse, one he knows does not fool his Empress at the very least, whose knowing looks and raised eyebrow has his insides twisting with guilt and shame like a child caught stealing treats from the kitchens. So he avoids her palace too, and seeks refuge in the Imperial study until late in the evenings.

A whole month passes where Lan Xichen does not allow himself to see Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian does not send word to him either.

He wonders if he’s left it too long, whether Wei Wuxian would be upset or angry at their situation—at him, for putting them in this situation. If it is too late to show up now, after a whole month of silence, and try to make amends. 

Fortunately—if one could call any part of this fortunate—the decision is made for him when Wei Wuxian himself walks into the Imperial study one night and kneels in the centre of the chamber. Lan Xichen watches dumbly as he prostrates himself, forehead pressed against the tips of his fingers on the cold stone floor, his hair loose and unbound, spilling over his plain white robes, the very picture of contrition and penance.

“This lowly concubine pays greetings to Huangshang,” Wei Wuxian says, his voice loud and clear in the quiet of the study. “And humbly seeks your forgiveness.”

“Wuxian...” Lan Xichen begins hesitantly. He breaks off, looking around at the eunuchs stationed around the study with their heads bowed. “You may leave us.”

It is only after they file away, closing the double doors behind them silently, does Lan Xichen allow himself to cross the chamber to where Wei Wuxian is still kneeling. He hurries to help him up, grasping him below the elbows, but is met with resistance as Wei Wuxian stubbornly keeps his head and shoulders bowed.

“Wuxian,” he says helplessly. “There is no need for this.”

“This lowly concubine dares not stand until Huangshang has forgiven me for my transgressions,” Wei Wuxian replies, still in that formal, wooden tone of voice Lan Xichen has come to know too well. He sighs.

“It is cold tonight and you are barely dressed. You will catch a cold walking around like this,” he tells him gently, softening his grip on his arms. When Wei Wuxian still refuses to budge, he sighs again and tilts his face up with two fingers under his chin. “There is nothing to forgive, you have done nothing wrong,”

There is confusion and wariness in those grey eyes as they finally meet his, two emotions he had hoped never to see again.

“Huangshang is displeased with me,” Wei Wuxian says quietly, tightly, as if he would fall apart if he raised his voice. “Ever since the report from Jinghai. Huangshang can no longer bear the sight of me, now that Lan Zhan—” he bites off the name with a pained twist of his mouth.

Lan Xichen recoils as if struck. He had known the nature of their relationship before his brother’s departure, and their plans for his return. But hearing his brother’s given name, such an intimate address used so freely and without thought, is a stark reminder of what he had done. Who he had taken.

Wei Wuxian knows it too, from the shudder that runs through him as he exhales, and the way his hands curl into fists in his lap.

"This lowly concubine does not dare presume he has any right to beg forgiveness for putting Huangshang in such a difficult position,” he continues, the barest hint of a waver in his voice. “I only wished to let Huangshang know that he does not need to trouble himself over this any longer.”

There is a ring of finality to his words that immediately catches Lan Xichen’s attention.

“What are you saying?” he asks warily. “Wuxian—”

Wei Wuxian shuffles backwards, putting enough distance between them so that he can prostrate himself once more, touching his forehead to the floor.

“This lowly concubine begs Huangshang to grant me the death penalty.”

“No.” 

The word forces itself from Lan Xichen’s lips before he even realises he’s spoken, a spontaneous, visceral reaction full of hurt and fury beyond his control. For a long moment after, he cannot speak around the vice clamped tight around his chest, squeezing the air from his lungs. Wei Wuxian replies, but his voice is only a faint murmur against the blood roaring in his ears; he cannot see his face to read his lips, but Lan Xichen already knows what he will say.

“You cannot ask that of me.” The words rasp painfully against his throat. “I will not be the reason for your death.”

Wei Wuxian raises his head and Lan Xichen freezes at the sight of the tears in his eyes, the same hurt, the same helpless fury colouring his cheeks and knitting his brows.

“And I am not willing to be the conflict that destroys the relationship between brothers,” he cries. “I cannot—I will not do it. Huangshang. You cannot ask that of me. Please do not ask it of me.” 

He lowers his face to the floor once more.

“This lowly concubine is only alive today because of Huangshang,” he says, voice small and trembling but with an undercurrent of steel. “I should already be dead. If Huangshang grants me the death penalty now, it will only be putting the situation to rights once more, and Hanguang-wang will be none the wiser upon his return.” 

Lan Xichen reaches out a trembling hand toward him, but stops short, hand hovering just above the top of his head. He cannot ask this of him. As a brother, and as a man, he cannot do it. As an Emperor—

Almost as if sensing his indecision, Wei Wuxian raises his head, leans into the palm of Lan Xichen’s outstretched hand and smiles as those long fingers mould themselves reflexively around the curve of his cheek.

“This lowly concubine will never forget the kindness and affection Huangshang has bestowed upon me,” he murmurs. “So if there must be a sacrifice, please let me make it in your place.”

--

TBC (yes I have just decided there will be a part two to this)

--

buy me a ko-fi!

more paper-thin fic | verse

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Notes

Such drama! Much angst! 

Sorry this took much longer than anticipated, mostly cos I’ve been devouring ancient Tezuka/Fuji fics and falling back into the ancient Tenipuri fandom in the past couple of weeks. So, uh, don’t be surprised if my next thing is Tezuka/Fuji instead (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

[agentgumsh0e]

Hiya solo for the 100 especial could you do "youre my everything " with cypher?.

Maybe the reader doesnt feel like cypher would love her bcs she isnt his ex wife so she starts to get distant with cypher (this is pre relationshipp, both like eachother) who freaks out bcs he doesnt want to loose her so he goes to find her only to see her in her room with her knees against her chest sobbing uncontrollably.

She finally tells him whats up and thats when he would say the line

Thanks for taking the time to write this and I hope this isnt too much!

(i have a problem and i think you guys do too with all the angst 🥲 i understand though)

recently, your days had been full of what-ifs, especially those involving cypher’s late wife, nora. what you concluded from your limited knowledge of her was that cypher cared (or cares?) for her greatly. it was understandable for obvious reasons, and it also wasn't really your concern, so it was fine with you.

up until you started crushing on him, that is. naturally, those little seeds of information about cypher's past family started sprouting into doubts, taking root in your mind. what if he didn't reciprocate your feelings because you weren't like his late wife? what if he’s still trying to honor and remember her memory by not getting into a relationship? what if he still hasn't moved on if he did ever get into a relationship?

what if he wasn't interested in you to begin with?

you really didn't want to water these doubts by thinking about it any longer, so you avoided cypher around protocol and saved yourself the rejection. you knew it wasn't the best way to deal with your feelings, but you found it was easier than hanging around him. you thought your plan was working fine, but when the two of you were sent on a mission together, you found out that cypher couldn't be so easily ignored.

you took up cypher’s watchdog tendencies, picking up on his every move and every sound. everything about him brought you closer to confession, yet you still pushed yourself away. you didn't want to risk rejection or cypher’s own unhappiness, but you couldn’t help but pine for him. after all this back-and-forth inner turmoil, you wound up crying on your bed, knees drawn up to your chest, when you got back to hq.

rather ironically, cypher had been both upset and concerned for you the past days. he constantly felt your lingering gaze, like a shadow constantly following him. the sudden cold-shoulder was frustrating. you were on the same mission as him, but you were always just out of reach every time you turned away from him. he guessed you weren't trying to hurt him on purpose and was instead trying to protect yourself from getting hurt. it was something he saw in himself as well.

he hadn't felt so strongly for someone since nora and his family, so if he could help it, he couldn’t let you slip through his fingers. he wouldn’t. though when he came to knock at your door to see how you were doing, he was surprised to see that the door was slightly ajar and that he could hear crying inside.

he entered the room and shut the door behind him, approaching you with quiet footsteps so as not to alarm you in your sensitive state. you looked up at him and his bright blue, inquisitive eyes, and you promptly buried your face further into your arms, embarrassed. he sat next to you and wrapped himself around you with a gentleness that he only seemed to have for you. his firm hold on you steadied your trembling shoulders. “(y/n), once you're ready, you can tell me what's wrong.”

you took a moment to catch your breath before you vented everything that was bothering you. you had been shying away from his stare throughout, but he took notice and cupped your face with the distinct material of his gloves, tilting your head up to look at him. you held his hand closer to your face. “please, my rose, i've had my eyes on you this entire time. nora, my family, they're my past, and i only reflect on them so i won't lose you, too. and i know you'll think i'm cheesy, but you're my present, my future. you're my everything, really.”

sniffling, you tackled him in an embrace, and he silently wished that you wouldn't let go for at least another lifetime. chuckling airily, he said, “so i'm guessing we're together now, hmm? just want to confirm."

[fangirlshrieks]

Spring Break part 3

a/n: 😁Thank you all for liking my story!!! I honestly didn't expect this many people to read it. 🥰 I originally wrote this because I was on spring break and now that my spring break is over here is the last part. This has really been fun for me and am glad so many of you enjoyed it. I really want to expand on this story (bc in my head it's a continuous story from y/n' years at hogwarts) but I don't know if I will have time with school. I really hope you all enjoy the last part.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Word count: 5,835

Pairings: Neville Longbottom x female reader

Warnings: smut!, fluff!, oral sex (male and female receiving), mentions of plant boy's insecurities, kind of dom!reader and sub!Neville at the end (idk I saw the opportunity and took it; plus that's my favorite trope), Neville loses his virginity, nonvirgin reader, awkward sex

You quickly turned off the shower, while Neville slid the glass door open so you could exit. 

He grabbed a towel and handed it to you. He grabbed one for himself and tried to dry off as fast as possible. He didn't properly dry off as his hair was still damp and there were some streaks of water left on his body. You quickly brushed out your tangles and realized your hair might be really damp. You then dried your body. He waited until you were done, awkwardly standing by the entrance of the bathroom not knowing if he should cover himself or not. Then a wave of emotions hit him as he realized what was about to happen. He was aroused, scared, happy, embarrassed, and felt utterly in love for you. The look on his face clearly showed how overwhelmed he felt.

When you were finally done drying yourself you grabbed his hand to lead him to the bed. You eyed him up and down, lingering a little longer on his hardened dick. You felt yourself growing hot by the second. Then you noticed his heavy breathing and tense stance. Despite your urge to push him on the bed and have your way with him, you wanted to make sure that he was ok with this.

"Neville, are you sure about this?" You gave him a small smile that was tinted with understanding and concern.

"What are you talking about? Of course I do." He said a little shaky. "Do.. do you not want to do this?"

"Oh I absolutely want to do this. I've wanted to have sex with you for a long time." You admitted bashfully. "I just wanted to know if you're Ok with me taking your virginity." You loved Neville but you didn't want to rush him into anything he didn't want to do. After you decided to lose your virginity to your first boyfriend, you regretted it ever since. You had felt you gave it to the wrong person. It was only fair that you let Neville make his decision, even if it was not what you wanted. You lifted your hand to caress his cheek. "That's all."

At that moment he felt so much love and compassion for you. He felt so lucky to actually have someone who cared for his well being.

"You're the only person I would trust with it." And with that he leaned down for a kiss. That same passion that was felt in the shower was resumed. He rested his hands on your hips. He was still cold but every place that you touched him he slowly began to warm up. You slithered your hands around his waist, pulling his pelvis close to yours. He slowly moved his hands from your hips to your bum, grabbing desperately. The back of your knees hit the bed and you fell on your back, pulling him down with you. 

You spread your knees apart intending to wrap your legs around him but your sudden movement caused him to stumble. He instead crushed your thigh with his knee to catch himself but he still fell. He landed on the bed right next to you with his left arm trapped under you. 

"Achh!" You squeaked as he crushed your thigh. You moved his leg off your thigh and sat up quickly to release him from under you. 

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry." He panicked and scooted away from you. 

You responded with a small laugh and moved closer to him. You looked at him with a crooked smile. "Neville I'm fine. It didn't hurt that much, I promise." You gave him a goofy smile and he eventually laughed along with you. 

"I might not know what I am doing." He took this as a time to confess his inner worries. 

"Nobody ever does their first time." You cupped his cheek with your hand. "But I'll help you." 

You place your hands on top of his and soothed them. You brought them up to your lips and kissed each one of his knuckles. The sight in front of him made his cock twitch. When you were done, you leaned over for another hot and steamy kiss. 

The two of you made your way to the headboard of the bed and pulled back the covers. Neville remembered about needing a condom and broke the kiss. He seemed embarrassed but you didn't know why.

"Is everything alright?" You placed your hands on his cheeks and rubbed your thumb gently on his bottom lip.

"I uh…" he swallowed loudly, and gave you a sappy smile. "Well I need to get something." He said as he made his way to the bedside dresser. He opened the drawer where he had left the condoms. Now sitting at the side of the bed he ripped open the small wrapper. Wondering what he was doing you peaked over his shoulder.

"You brought condoms on your trip to the lake?" You said teasingly resting your head on his shoulder and wrapping your arms around him. "So I wasn't the only one making plans?" You raised your eyebrow at him.

"I swear I wasn't planning this! Seamus and Dean gave them to me as a joke, but I never thought I would get to use them." His brows furrowed in worry, about how you would react to this, but was met with a surprising smirk. 

"Well I think I will have to say thank you the next time I see them." You let out a small laugh. "Do you need help putting it on?" 

"Yes please." He sheepishly said handing you the condom. His face was completely red as you moved in front of kneeling. Given your position you decided to wait on the condom. You placed it on the bedside dresser for later.

"What are you doing?" He looked at you confused and a little worried that you had put the condom down.

"I want to make you feel good without it first." You said rubbing your hands up and down his thighs making him shiver. "Is that ok?"

He squeaked out a small yes and you smiled up at him. You instructed him to move his legs more open by pushing his knees apart and he easily followed your command. You grabbed the base of his cock causing him to moan. You pumped slowly for a few seconds before dragging your tongue from the base to the tip, kissing the tip and slowly bringing it into your mouth. His moans got caught in the back of his throat and he made a high pitched noise that made you wet. Having the power of making those noises come out of him made you love him more. You made sure to keep your eyes on his face to take in his reactions. He was a shade of bright pink, his mouth gaped open, eyes shut, and sounds that may have been moans coming out of his mouth. His chest lifting up and down as his breathing quickened. You thought he looked absolutely beautiful. There was a familiar feeling in your lower belly and you could feel yourself dripping. You desperately wanted to have your way with him but you wanted to make his first time special and play with him as much as you could before getting to the good stuff.

He was propping himself up with his hands gripping the sheets so hard his knuckles turned white. The way you rolled your tongue around the tip of his cock and pumped the rest was too much for him. With the way you were working him he thought he was about to bust soon. Your other hand made its way to fondle his balls. He let out a mewl and whined when you squeezed them a little. The sensation made his left arm give out. He was now on his back letting his head fall back and out of sight. You stopped immediately.

"Neville, baby, I want to see your face." Your seductive tone surprised him. He looked back at you embarrassed but he did as you asked. He supported himself on his elbows and tried to keep his face towards you.

"There there" you cooed, rubbing circles on the insides of his thighs. His legs were shaking uncontrollably and his cock spasmed on his stomach.

Uhh, It truly was a sight for sore eyes. 

You continue working on him. Taking him in your mouth again, you hollowed your cheeks and went a bit faster than before. You moaned and the vibrations sent him over the edge. It wasn't long before you felt his thighs flex as he began to reach his climax. He shut his eyes tightly as a cry of relief came out of his mouth and he came without warning. You swallowed all of him enjoying the feeling of his cum running down your throat. 

Barely comprehending what had just happened his eyes shot open and he looked down at you in the place between his legs. 

"I'm sorry I should have said something." He wondered if you even enjoyed swallowing his cum and a bit embarrassed about cumming so quickly and in your mouth.

"It's Ok, I liked it." You said wiping off a bit of seamen from your lower lip. It was enough to get him hard again despite his recent orgasm.

You got up and climbed in bed with him. You weren't done just yet. You rested your back on the pillows and he sat up sitting on the edge of the bed. You motioned with your finger for him to come towards you. He eagerly obeyed sitting on his knees right in front of you. You pulled him in for a passionate kiss spreading your legs so he could be closer to you. You teasingly bit down on his bottom lip and he sighed with content. You traced your tongue across his lips and he slowly opened his mouth for you. His mouth was warm and his tongue ran across your teeth. You moaned as your tongues danced with one another. You ran your hands in his hair and down his chest. You could feel his heart beating just as fast as yours. He didn't know where to place his hands and he hesitantly decided to place them on your hips. You were not satisfied with his hand placement and slowly led them to cup both your breasts. 

The feeling of his hands on your soft tissue made you gasp into the kiss. His blush was now spread from his face all the way to his shoulders. He messaged them gently as he had in the shower and squeezed them. His thumbs passed your nipples sending an electric sensation straight to your core. The bud was now hard. The kiss became more sloppy and you moved to kiss along his jaw. You sucked lightly at the skin, careful to not leave any evidence for his grandmother to see. You came across a sensitive spot and he mewled into your ear. You slithered your hand between the two of you and grabbed his dick. 

Neville was caught off guard by your actions and almost collapsed on top of you. His hands froze in a groping position around your breasts as he tried to compose himself as your thumb went over his tip. He tried to continue fondling your boobs as much as possible without getting distracted by the slow pace of your hand. He wanted to please you as you were pleasing him. He lightly rolled your nipples between his fingers and you let out a whine. 

You kissed along his jaw, making your way to his ear. You sucked on his earlobe for a bit before dragging your tongue on the shell of his ear making him shiver.

"I want you to use your mouth." You whispered.

You could feel his erection twitch in your hand as you spoke. He responded in a sort of whimper as you let go of his cock. Also because it was as if you had read his mind finally gave him permission to live out his fantasy of sucking on your tits like a baby. He had never felt so turned on in his life. He was absolutely ecstatic that you were telling him what to do and taking control of the situation. He honestly wouldn't know what to do with himself if you weren't telling him what to do. He secretly hoped it would be this way in the future.

He trailed hot, wet, kisses along your neck, down to your collarbone, and finally to your breast. He naturally brought his mouth over your nipple and sucked gently while kneading your other breast with his free hand. 

"Uhh Nev…" you sighed while arching your back. 

Your sigh of content encouraged him even more. He bit your nipple gently testing to see how you would react. 

"Fuck… Neville" You breathed.

Your words were pushing him towards the edge again. He kissed his way to your previously ignored breast and sucked at the nipple. He loved how soft they were to the touch. 

Your hands ran through his hair and you pulled desperately at his brown curls. Your moans now filled the room. You felt yourself become more and more desperate for him to fill you. Pulling him completely away from your breast you sat up. He looked at you as if he had done something wrong.

"Di… did you not?" He didn't ask a complete question but you understood his meaning.

"Oh no, I definitely enjoyed it." Reassuring him. "I just thought now would be a good time to put on that condom." You said giving him a cheeky grin, looking at his cock which was standing proud in between the two of you. 

He squirmed under your gaze laughing nervously and looked down as he tried to avoid eye contact. You gave him a quick peck on the cheek before you leaned over to the side of the bed and reached for the condom that you had left on the stand and returned to your previous position.

"Are you ready?" You said with a smirk on your face. Neville nodded a yes and with that you grabbed his cock stroking it up and down to get him a bit harder. 

The feeling of your hands around him again was too much for him so he rested his head on your shoulder moaning your name and placed his hands on your hips for support. His lips moved to your neck sucking the skin lightly.

You let go of his cock making him whine at the loss of contact. You gave your attention to the little rubber thing that was to protect you from getting pregnant. You pinched the top allowing room for his seaman, placed it over his tip and rolled the condom on him. Once you were all done you kissed his forehead. 

"It's on." You whispered in his ear. 

"Ok…. Ok…" his whispered back. His breathing became more erratic and his hands seemed to shake more. You laid down fully on your back and smiled up at him.

He moved back a bit so he could finally see in between your legs. The sight made him beam with love, feeling special that you were showing him your most private parts. Neville's eyes grew dark and needing as he saw just how wet you were for him. However, he was not familiar with the female anatomy and all its workings. It was not as if Hogwarts had any health classes and his grandmother certainly never told him about the birds and the bees. What he knew about the female sex, he learned from his friends and the playboys that Dean and Seamus somehow managed to get their hands on in the muggle world bringing them with them to Hogwarts to show off. Plus this was the 90s and owning a television was not common in the wizarding world nor had websites for porn had been invented yet.

He rubbed up and down your thighs, making you shiver. He then leaned over you supporting himself on his elbows. He pushed forward slowly hoping to get lucky and his tip accidentally rubbed against your clit making you gasp. Confusion was written all over his face making him burn with embarrassment.

"Uhh…" he gave you a nervous laugh. "Where do I put it in?" 

"Oh right" you felt your cheeks heat up at his question. You both sat up.

"Ok let me see" you said. 

You grabbed his hips and tried to align them correctly but his movements were stiff. 

"Wait where do you want me to be?" He asked in a giggly voice. 

"I need you to move down a bit." Your own nervous laugh escaped your lips.

He did as you asked. His cock now hovered over your entrance. You grabbed it, causing him to squirm a bit from your touch. You tried to align his cock with your leaking pussy but you were too far apart. 

"Come a little closer." You command. 

You both were focused on looking down at your positioning neither of you noticed how close your heads were and as he moved closer to you, your foreheads bumped together.

"Owe!" 

"Ahh"

The incident made your both roar with laughter. He rubbed your forehead and immediately apologized.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry. Are you ok?"

You responded in more laughter. "Yes I'm fine." 

"I told you I don't know what I'm doing." He chuckled. 

"This isn't working." You were talking about the position but he misunderstood, thinking you had lost interest in him.

"Oh…" he sounded hurt. "I'm sorry." His voice was barely even a whisper and his eyebrows furrowed again. He scooted further back from you. You instantly cupped his head and made him look at you.

"Oh no. I… I meant the position." You kissed both of his cheeks to comfort him. "You're doing amazing right now. Just absolutely brilliant." 

"Are you sure? You know you can tell me the truth, right?" He searched your face for any hints to see if you wanted to stop. He placed his hands over yours and rubbed his thumbs against your knuckles.

"I'm sure." You said leaning in for a kiss. 

You both smiled into the kiss. When you broke the kiss you looked into his doe eyes. You shared a laugh together before you spoke up.

"Let’s switch positions." You suggest.

"Ok." He quickly got up and rested his back against the headboard.

"I think you should lay down this time." You said biting your lips.

He smiled nervously as he slid down resting his head on the pillows. He felt a bit vulnerable with his dick springing up on his stomach having you stare so keenly. But he enjoyed it all too much.

On the other hand, having him sprawled out on the bed just for you, had awakened something in you. A rush of power flowed through your veins as you watched his beautiful body. His chest went up and down erratically as you moved to straddle his legs. Your hands moved up his thigh and you stroked his cock just to see him squirm. Then you moved forward and lifted yourself on your knees just above his throbbing dick and aligning it with your slick pussy.

He intently watched you as you easily slid yourself on to him. He made a choking noise and gripped tightly on your hips as you slid further down. 

"Ah… ohhh…. y/n" was all that came out of his mouth. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he leaned his head further into the pillow. 

The immense pleasure that took over his body was enough to make him cum right then and there but he waited, wanting to take in the feeling of you around him. The feeling of your walls stretching for him was enough for him to be content for a lifetime.

"Oh Nev…" you moaned at the feeling of him filling you. You sat still for a moment getting used to the feeling of him. He was bigger than you were used to but it made it all the more arousing. Once you were adjusted you rock your hips in a circle, just to get him started. 

A whine escaped his lips as you teased him with your slow movements and he looked up at you with pleading eyes. You leaned down to give him a quick peck on the lips and started to bounce. The sound of the raindrops tapping against the windows hardly drowned out Neville's and your moans.

"Oooohh fuck…Y/N" Neville said a little breathy. His eyebrows scrunched together and his mouth was agape as you moved faster. He couldn't help but buck up into you. A familiar feeling bubbled inside him as he reached closer to his climax. A few seconds later Neville jerked violently and cried out your name, arching his back to be further in you. 

You found the face he made as he came adorable and just so intoxicating. You hoped that you would be seeing more of that expression in your future. You bounced on his cock to help him fall from his high. It took less than a minute to make Neville cum. You were honestly proud of yourself that you were able to make your boyfriend cum in less than a minute, twice.

Once he calmed down you kept yourself on him and leaned down to rest on his chest. He looked up at you with a dazed expression. His face and chest were a shade of pink. You loved that shade on him. 

"I love you." He breathed. His eyes were half closed and he gave you a crooked smile.

"I'm your forever." You whispered back to him. There was a moment when you just admired his facial features. You watch as his breathing slowed and he relaxed. The rain had gotten more harsh outside and there was a clap of thunder. It was very hypnotic and made him sleepy. You noticed his brow furrow as he regained awareness of his surroundings. 

"Did you finish?" He asked, a little embarrassed. He already knew the answer but asked anyway.

You shook your head. "No, it usually takes a little more than just penetration. Well, at least until you can last long enough for me to finish." You teased. 

He covered his face and groaned with embarrassment. You giggled at his reaction and went to grab his hands and pull them away from his gorgeous face. You placed them so they lay flat on his chest and peaked his lips. "I take that as a compliment by the way." You reassure him. 

"Then can you teach me how to make you finish?" He shrunk himself into the pillow to hide himself. You found his bashfulness cute. You wiggled your hips in excitement which caused him to groan. 

"I thought you'd never ask." You sat up and got off of him. 

He mewled the loss of feeling you around him. He sat up as well and took the condom off and threw it in the little trash can by his bed. He returned to give you a kiss on the lips. You pulled him on top of you, wrapped your legs around his waist, and laid down. You pulled away from the kiss and cupped his face with your hands.

"I need you to move down for me." Your seductive tone returned again making his mouth start to water. 

You held onto his hair, guiding him down your body until he was face to face with your vagina. He swallowed hard and released a breath he didn't know he was holding. You spread your legs wider showing him how wet you had become from him. Neville honestly loved the view he had of you from where he was. He rubbed his hands on the insides of your thighs making you sigh with pleasure. He still had no idea how or where to please you. 

"Can you show me where?" He looked up at you with a shy smile. 

"Of course" you whispered back to him. You sat up and grabbed one of his hands that were on your thigh. His hand was shaking the closer you pulled it towards your entrance.

"This is where I just had your dick in me." You smiled devilishly at his facing turning a shade brighter. His hand quivered hovering over the area. 

"And this is what you have to play with." You said placing his index finger right on your clit. You tilted your head back and released a moan from your mouth. You had been longing for some kind of stimulation and release. You let go of his hand but he kept his finger right on your clit, gently going over it with his finger. His bottom lip quivered as he brushed his fingers over your labia. He seemed to be memorizing the shape and took a mental picture. He felt the urge to kiss your inner lips and explore the area with his tongue. He gulped one more time to clear his throat.

"Can I kiss you here?" He asked, avoiding eye contact. 

You don't know what came over you but you wanted him to ask you again, this time you wanted him to look you in the eyes. You grabbed his jaw and forced him to look up at you. He looked confused and worried that he did something wrong and had upset you. You rubbed your thumb over his top lip and dragged it down to his bottom lip. You rubbed your thumb across his bottom lip and pushed it down so his mouth was now open. You stuck your thumb in his mouth and gently placed it on the top of his wet, hot, tongue. His heart raced in his chest and his dick twitch at the way you completely had a hold of him. 

"You want to eat my pussy and make me feel good?" You cooed. 

He didn't know where all of this was coming from or why you had stepped into this role but he was all for it. He was more than happy to let you take control any day. It made him relax knowing that you pulled the reins . It was less stressful for him to just follow orders than to come up with what to do next. 

Neville nodded a yes but that wasn't good enough for you.

"Say it." You said in a stern and low tone. 

"Huh?" Your thumb was still in his mouth and he didn't know how he would speak. He assumed you would take your thumb out but you didn't. Drool began to fall from the sides of his mouth and color spread all over his face. 

"Say it and look me in the eyes." You repeated. Your tone was harsher than before.

A shiver ran down his spine as he painfully made eye contact with you. "I… wont tu... eat you... poohy an make… you feel goo…" With his tongue restricted by your thumb his words were barely recognizable. There was a puddle of drool on the sheets under his chin. He looked terribly embarrassed but the moving of his hips on the bed told you otherwise. He spoke one last word. "Please?" He asked. 

"Of course my love." You replied in the same cold tone. You took your thumb out of his mouth and pushed his head slowly towards your vagina. 

Neville's eyes widened as his mouth made contact with your inner lips. Your moans filled the room as Neville began licking from your entrance to your clit. The silva that had gathered in his mouth from before helped as a lubricant and made you even more slick. He continued lapping large strokes across your entrance. His hands wrapped under you pushing you closer to him. The feeling shocked you to your core. You laid yourself on your back again and gripped his curly brown hair. You pushed his face closer to your clit to grind yourself on him. Neville began sticking his tongue in you as far as he could. Sticking it in and out and in and out.

"Fuck Nev…" you moaned his name. 

Hearing you call his name caused him to groan. He not so discreetly started humping the bed sheets chasing his third orgasm of the night. He slithered his right hand towards your entrance again and replaced his tongue with his middle finger. His tongue moved towards your clit. The feeling of you squeezing around him overwhelmed him. The idea of being between your legs forever sent him into overdrive and he humped the sheets faster until he came. He moaned around your clit causing your legs to shake. His whole body shook, including his hand which curled as it twitched.

"Nev…" you called as his finger hit that sensitive stop inside you. "Fuck… curl… curl your finger right there." You instructed. 

He did as you said and caused an electric sensation throughout your body. He kept hitting that same spot over and over again with his finger. His tongue continued to lap circles around your clit, sending a shiver down your spine. You instinctively wrapped your legs around his head, trapping him between your legs. Your thighs squeezed his cheeks together making it difficult for him to continue licking you, so he settled on sucking your sensitive bud. You grinded on his face even harder and tightened your grip on his hair. He hummed around your clit and the vibrations sent a warm, fuzzy, and familiar feeling in your lower belly. You looked down at Neville, whose eyes were half closed from his recent high. He slobbered all over you as his mouth continued to salivate from the way you tasted. His finger was still inside you, but you want to feel more of him.

"Nev… put… put another finger…." You were breathless at this point from trying to chase your orgasm. He slid his index finger in you stretching you more. You arched your back at the sensation. His movements had become slower in almost a teasing way. You were not sure if he did this on purpose or not, but whatever the reason you needed him to go faster. 

"Fuck Nev… faster" your cried.

He responded by fucking his fingers in you at a rapid pace. He also tried sticking his tongue in with his fingers. He fucked his tongue and fingers in you desperate to hear you cry out his name again. You thought you heard him whimper your name slightly as he took his tongue out of you. He came back to suck on your clit harder than before. Your thighs shook around his head and your breathing became erratic. You grind yourself up against his face and pulled on his hair causing him to moan your name. That was enough to push you over the edge. You felt your whole body tremble as you came.

"Oh Nev… " you screamed. You arched you back as you came all over his fingers. 

He took his fingers out of you and sucked your cum off of them. When he was done he returned to clean you of your juices with his tongue. 

"Oh god, Neville" You breathed. 

Neville stopped, tilted his head to the side, and rested his head on you. His breathing was hitched as you still had your legs wrapped around him. He didn't mind preferring to have your legs around him than not having your legs around him. He kissed your thigh lovingly.

You brushed your fingers through his soft hair and noticed how tired he was from cumming so many times. You released him from your grip and spread your legs. He stayed in the place between your legs. You looked down at him and smiled to yourself. 

"Did you cum?" You asked teasingly. 

He nodded his head. "Yeah" he breathed. "You're just so hot." He looked up at you with hooded eyes and a crooked smile. He seemed much more relaxed than he ever had before. You stroked his cheek lovingly. 

"Come here." You said. 

He started to crawl further up. He brought the covers over the two of you and rested his head on your chest wrapping his arms around you, gently placing his hips back down on the sheets. He let out a cry from how sensitive his nether regions had become. You thought you heard him make a quiet hissing noise as he shifted above you. During his private maturation sessions, he usually only ever came once. Now having came 3 times in a short amount of time made him tender. 

"Shh… It will be alright." You scratched the back of his head with one hand and traced your nails on his back with the other. The sound of your heart beat was like a lullaby to his ears as he snuggled close to you and he became more drowsy. 

"I love you." You whispered to him.

"I love you." He repeated back to you in a sleepy voice.

The room fell quiet and all that could be heard was the tapping sounds of rain drops from outside. Then you remember your clothes that you had left out on the porch. You also looked at the bedsheets that were a little messy from all the cum and sweat that had gotten on them from your activities with Neville. You would need to wash them.

"Hey Nev." 

"Yeah." He said heavy-eyed.

"I think we better get our clothes from outside and change before your grandmother gets back don't you think." 

He lifted his head and looked at the clock on his bedside dresser. It was about 3:20 pm. He groaned as he buried his head back into your breasts. 

"It's barely three o'clock. Can we just stay like this for a couple hours. Gran said she wouldn't be home until eight." He hugged you tighter, not letting you escape from under him. You laughed at his childish tone and stroked his hair. 

"Ok. Maybe one hour. Then we have to clean up so they don't suspect anything." You secretly hoped it would last longer. You loved the feeling of having skin to skin contact with Neville.

"One hour. " He yawned, shutting his eyes and drifting off to sleep. 

You were not so tired so you just watched him sleep. He truly was beautiful. You felt a fuzzy feeling in your heart grow and you imagined what a future with him would be like. You smiled to yourself at the image you created in your head. Picnics on Sunday afternoons, a garden full of all his favorite plants, and a cozy little cottage the two of you would share in the countryside.  You listened to his soft breathing as he slept and kissed his forehead. 

"Sleep tight."

[vivvyinvienna]

Dad!Draco admiring you with the baby and toddler

baby, baby (draco malfoy)

A/N: heyo! Back again w Dad!Draco, who i am an absolute sucker for. I had to google “how to play with a baby” before writing bc i don’t rly understand children. To the nonny who requested, i hope you enjoy xoxo

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: Dad!Draco has to take a couple of sick days from work but that also means he gets to spend more time with his beloved family. Fluff :))

Warnings: unedited, baby scorp cuteness, mentions of pregnancy, stomach flu?

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When Draco started rousing from his nap, it was already late in the afternoon. His body’s natural inclination to turn towards his wife took over despite his still dozing mind. After being married to Y/N for seven years and sleeping in the same bed for even longer, every time he woke up Draco felt this physical yearning for the warmth and intimacy that only being intertwined with her could provide. But today, he was disappointed. The cold sheets to his left brought him fully out of his sleep-induced haze.

Once Draco was fully awake, he used the bearing magic that was embedded into the intricate blood wards of their family home to locate his wife and child. It only took a second before he knew that Y/N and Scorpius were in the living room. Normally he wasn’t one to nap for hours while making his wife be solely responsible for their son, but Draco was still recovering from an exceptionally brutal stomach flu. He had stayed home from work for the last three days, trading his job at Malfoy Inc for saltine crackers, stomach cramps, heating pads, and an overzealous number of bathroom trips.

He stood up from the bed and padded out of the room in search of his family. When he neared the entrance of the rosy-tinted living room, he was graced by the sound of his child giggling and his wife idly talking. Standing in the doorway, he breathed in the sight of the two people who he loved with every inch of his battered heart. The floor-length French windows were slightly ajar, letting in the breeze of summer and the scent of peaches. The sunset coming in painted the room with the blush of a rose petal and the bloom of sedation. 

You were sitting on the creme-colored couch, bouncing Scorpius on your knees. He had just turned one-year-old a couple of weeks ago, and already he was starting to lose some of his chunky baby fat which you and Draco both adored. But he was still the cutest baby in your eyes, with or without his chubby baby legs. With his cherub cheeks, bright eyes, and wispy tufts of the distinct Malfoy hair, no other baby could compare. You sat with your back facing the doorway, so you didn’t notice Draco until Scorpius started squirming away from you and let out a very enthusiastic “Da! Dada!” 

Draco let out a jovial laugh when he saw the big toothy grin on his son’s face. He immediately held out his arms to steal Scorp from his mother. 

“Hey buddy!” Draco responded to him with the same amount of energy. “What have you been up to today?” He talked to Scorp like an adult, treating his noises as real answers. 

Scorpius babbled. 

“Oh really? You know, I took a pretty good nap too today.”

More babbling. 

“Well, why don’t we go to the pond tomorrow?”

Scorpius continued.

“Of course buddy, it’ll be warm out tomorrow.”

He moved to sit down next to you, giving you a pillowy kiss and wrapping the arm that wasn’t holding a toddler around you. Draco couldn’t help but stare. The fading sunshine glowed upon you with romantic affection. You were ethereal to him. He looked at you the way every girl dreamed of being looked at. And the depth of his eyes held promises. Promises that there was no one in the world he would rather see and be with than you. 

“Hey mama,” his soft words reverberated with the utmost tenderness.

This time you leaned over to kiss him. As your lips touched his, he felt a murmur of enchantment somewhere in his body. It felt a bit like healing and a bit like elation, but he was too peaceful to bother pinpointing. 

“How are you feeling, sweetheart? Is your stomach still hurting?” you were still concerned over his health despite him looking much better than before he went to nap. 

“I feel better, I think it’s run its course,” he answered matter-a-factly. 

Your conversation remained brief because Scorpius let out a whine. Probably because neither of his parents was giving him attention.

You turned your attention to your son. You danced your fingers on his cheeks, making him let out a precious giggle. As Draco watched, he felt the bells of sunshine ring in his heart, a feeling only explicable by the child in his arms and wife at his side. 

The two of you moved to the floor of the couch and continued to play with Scorp. It wasn’t before long though when he decided that his favorite ferret stuffed animal was more entertaining than his parents and crawled away to play with it. With Scorp occupied, Draco decided this was the perfect time to talk to you about something he’d been ruminating over.

“I have something to talk to you about,” he started. 

You took in an over-exaggerated gasp, “Are you breaking up with me?” you said with no real distress. 

He went along with you, “That’s actually the second thing I want to talk to you about.”

“Ok well, what’s the first?”

He took in a deep breath, as if slightly nervous. “I think I want to step down from Malfoy Inc for a little while and spend more time at home with you two.” 

You turned to fully face him. You were elated at the possibility but a bit hesitant in case he hadn’t fully thought it through yet.

“I’d love to have you home more, I’m sure Scorp does too,” you paused, “but you love your job.”

“But I love you guys more. A lot more actually,” there was no wavering in his affirmation. 

“You won’t get bored being at home all day?” you pushed a bit more. 

“I was planning on picking up some of my old alchemy projects. And you remember all the notebooks Severus left me?” 

You did.

“I think it’d be good to finish some of his potions research.”

You agreed. 

“I’ve honestly been thinking about stepping down for a while and being at home these last three days just really reminded me of how much I miss every day. He’s growing up so fast. And I miss being home with you and Scorp.”

“I miss having you home too, I miss you all the time.” You almost laughed at how clingy you sounded. “So if you want to step down, I won’t be the one to stop you.”

He gave you that smile, the one that was reserved only for you. “I guess I’m quitting my job,” he sounded nonchalant but the excitement was obvious in the smile lines of his eyes. 

“One stomach flu and you’re ready to quit your job. I’d hate to see what a migraine does to you,” you teased.

“Shut up,” he feigned offense. “Merlin, Y/N I threw up so much I finally understand how you felt when you were pregnant.”

You gave him a questionable look. “For some reason, I doubt it.” The room filled with Draco’s laughter again. 

“Speaking of pregnancy…” he shifted closer to you, slowly gliding his large hand onto your belly. “I want to put another baby in here.”

“You are just full of ideas today.” He was about to open his mouth to persuade you further, when you continued, “But I can’t say that’s a bad one.”

A boyish grin took his face. 

Then, taking you both by surprise, a loud grumble came from Draco’s midsection. You both stilled and looked at each other for a couple of seconds before he groaned and started whining. Pulling his hand away from your belly, he moved to cradle his own. And you laughed, you laughed an absurd, charming little laugh because you couldn’t get over how Draco’s whining sounded exactly like Scorpius’.