#this took a couple of hours cuz i still refuse to take more than 2 hrs per page... and I'm forbidding myself from using anything but black

[taimanzano]

One of one. One, alone, one.

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

[liptonsbabe]

Chains of a family [B.W]

Bill Weasley x Grant! Reader

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

Summary: The reader has left the burrow trying to hide from Molly’s harsh comments. Bill’s mom doesn’t want his son near you cause she thinks you’ll hurt him judging you for your family reputation. Arthur thinks differenly so he’ll try to make amends between you two

Word count: 3.4 k. Too long I’M SORRY

Warnings: none

English not my mother language so pleeeeese tell me if something’s wrong

A/N: Hey! Another chapter for you’all. Thanks for keep reading this. The next part will be updated soon and yeah, hope you like it! If you want to be tagged just tell me and i’ll do so :D

Chapter 3: Expectations

It was bitterly cold outside the burrow, and you wondered if winter had come early. Your icy hands clenched your sides, refusing to go back inside even if your knuckles burned and your bare feet began to crack from the hardness of the grass on your soles.

You walked on the grass feeling the dew wetting your fingertips. On the other side of the garden the gnomes were burying one of Molly's ornaments with what, you guessed, the woman would be very angry when she found out, but no more than she already was. Molly's words were harsh. Even if her intention was not to make you feel bad, she had managed to put a huge weight on your stomach after the fight.

You didn't blame her, it was almost certain that Molly would react that way, however, you hoped that within her there was a bit of empathy for the situation you were experiencing with your family. It wasn’t easy for anyone to go through a war that could have been avoided in one way or another, however, for the Grants it was an even more difficult challenge knowing that the trigger for such a war was grandpa Tim Grant's half brother.

You walked around the house, crossing the barnyard, watching the chickens peck at a rubber boot on a very rusty cauldron. The cornfield grasses moved with the wind at the same rate. From right to left, right to left, right to left and then they changed the rhythm from left to right, left to right, left to right ...

The barn was just behind the thick grass rising into an old stone sty, which had several crooked stories attached to it. Four or five chimneys dotted the roof of the cellar, and most likely the entire building was held up by magic due to its crazy bolt-on construction. You took a look back at the main entrance of the house where you could hear the voices of Bill's brothers next to Molly's, deciding to get away from the Weasleys before starting a new fight.

You crossed the cornfield finding a pond full of frogs that you dodged with a little scream and a ballerina jump. Then you came across an old broom shed that was half stowed and a pervasive smell. You headed there, thinking of helping out with the cleaning and wasting some time in the process until William came home from the ministry in the early afternoon.

The brooms were on top of each other in a corner of the shed where the garden gnomes used them to play with each other. One of the gnomes had gotten a match with which he had managed to light a couple of strands of the broom of one of the twins -You knew it because each of the brooms had the initials of Molly's children painted on the base. That one had a huge G in the center - which soon expanded into the rest of the broom's dark fibers. You immediately turned it off earning yourself a tiny kick from the gnome.

The smoke from the fire mixed with dust, and the foul smell of expired wax made your eyes water . You wondered vaguely when was the last time that place had been cleaned up, however, the density of the raised dust and the rottenness of the broom wax on the floor told you about the nonexistence maintenance of the shed. The orchard was contained within a paddock, so you assumed there would be no problem cleaning it up later.

You collected each thing by hand placing them where you thought they should go. You finished cleaning the shed earlier than expected, securing the door when exiting to prevent the gnomes from entering and destroying everything again.

You continued your way in a straight line until you reached the barn where a thick layer of dust hid the doorknob. You opened the warehouse with your wand finding the worst scenario ever imagined. The walls were hidden in ghastly cobwebs, the shelves were clothed in huge mountains of dust, and Muggle stuff were strewn everywhere. Mr. Weasley's old Ford Anglia was on the left side of the barn,  storing certain flying objects that you couldn't recognize from the cloud of dust that rose and entered to your eyes.

Well, that seemed like an even bigger challenge than the shed on the other side of the garden. You started by washing the car using your wand to launch several aguamentis causing a waterfall of mud falling from the roof to the fender. Then the car doors flapped open like a pair of wings, letting out the flying objects. You raised your wand by closing the barn door blockig them the exit and initiating a chase that lasted a couple of hours to catch each object, throw it inside the Ford Anglia and finish polishing the hood before the flying, spoiled car got upset.

You forgot the last time you helped your household servants clean a simple fireplace ornament. Years before, when you were little and your brothers liked to spend time together, you helped the butler to clean some objects in the house because it was more fun when you formed competitions between you, Anthon and Margaret to know which of you cleaned the house ¿faster . You had fun and old Alfred got less tired. But that was a long time ago and in the present you didn’t remember what was the proper order of cleaning.

You were lugging box after box for several hours getting a terrible allergy in the process. The last box was made of recyclable paper where you put Mr. Weasley's old newspapers and Molly's worn recipes. You carried them to the fourth shelf from the right, previously cleaned, raising it with both hands. A speck of dust flew across the room, stopping on your nose causing you to sneeze so hard you fell backwards with the box on your face. The papers flew around the corners causing a disaster worse than the initial one.

“Shit”

You stayed lying on the floor taking the box off your face staring at the ceiling. Undoubtedly that would be a difficult life without anyone to help you doing the things more than yourself, however you were willing to try ‘cause you didn’t want to return home where things were simple but with a high cost. You weren't sure you wanted to trade your freedom for a few extra comforts. You let out a sigh ready to stand up when a singular sheet of a recent newspaper flew towards you, stopping on your chest. You caught a glimpse of a fairly familiar photograph in the ink, so you took the paper and read:

"Dark Mark sparks panic." Muggle family murdered.  Death Eaters numbers grow”  Your hands trembled over the paper, caressing each of the words, reading them over and over again. The weight on your stomach grew and grew, as if it were suddenly going to explode. A huge picture of uncle Tom stood in the middle, with that toothless grin and throbbing nostrils “Merlin’s beard”

Your fingers tingled, and you couldn't help but run your touch over your uncle's face trying to think how he got to that point. Grandpa Tim never talked so much about his half brother and you never had the courage to ask him even if the curiosity was eating your insides. There were few times where Tom Riddle's presence was in the family conversations and if that happened, then your father changed the topic from one second to another. It was annoying living in the shadows, but it was even more to be tied to a cause that no one sympathized with, not even his own brother. But Tim Grant was reserved, perhaps too reserved. Maybe that was the reason why he allowed the actions of his little brother to escalate to those levels and allowed too that his only son had choose the wrong side. However, you didn’t understand - or support - Voldemort's ambitions, neither did your grandpa and that cost you to be rejected by the rest of your family.

Your eyes watered and you didn't know if it was because of guilt or if the damn dirt had entered your eyelids. You looked at the ceiling in the haze. You searched your mind and realized that the situation affected you too much. You weren't welcome with the Weasleys, nor with the Grants. You felt desolate, as if the barn walls were closing in on you.

Molly's reaction was valid, you repeated yourself as many times as you could, because anyone who had lost a large part of it’s family to a member of another's would have done the same thing or something so much worse. You shook your head, once again feeling the rejection you were used to.

The barn door opened suddenly, letting in a gust of wind hitting your body directly on the ground. Your skin prickled from the cold causing the newcomer to laugh.

You looked up to find yourself face to face with the distorted figure of Arthur Weasley who was holding a couple of drinks along with a weird smile that made you laugh. The man sat on the floor next to you leaving the glass next to your face.

"I'm sorry I scared you. it’s freezing cold out there and in my defense, nobody comes to this place”

“It’s okay, I wasn't expecting visitors”

"Fine, then" Arthur took a sip of his drink licking his chapped lips, but still showing you that smile so much like Bill's. You folded the newspaper on your lap, nervous. "So ... what are you doing lying in my barn?"

"I ... I was trying to clean this place up”

"Is that so? ‘cuz It seemed like you were about to take a nap."

“Yeah, i had a little mishap here”

"I see, do you want to get up?"

"Yes, thank you." Arthur held out his hand, slowly pulling you up to leave you sitting in front of him. He offered you the drink and you clinked glasses before drinking. It was hot chocolate, you guessed, made by Molly. Your stomach churned.

Mr. Weasley glanced around the barn, surprised to see more than half perfectly arranged

“This place hasn't been so clean since Bill was born”

“Sorry?

"No, no, it's okay," he mentioned, waving to play it off, "Molly had been asking me for a long time to do it, so I think you just made my job easier."

"It's nothing, Mr. Weasley

"Did you see something you liked?"

"Uh, yeah," you answered wiping your lips. "Ignoring the fact that your car almost killed me, I noticed that you have a lot of muggle stuff."

“Ah, yes. They are fascinating, don't you think?”

"Certainly, but I also realized that most of them are useless, why do you still have them here?"

"I like to collect them," he replied, taking another sip of his drink. You mimicked his action “to be honest, I don't even have a clue how these things works, but I suppose I'll find out in time. Muggle devices are not as advanced as ours, much less functional, however, I find them entertaining and special somehow, did you know that they use a subway to transport themselves underground? And they must leave coins in a machine so that they give them a little ticket. A ticket! The first time I used one I was deadly excited!

You smiled, imagining how it would to see Mr. Weasley that happy

"I could help you understand how they work." You winced when Arthur looked at you with wide eyes. "My ... my grandfather lived with Muggles for a while and knows a lot about this artifacts. Several times he spoke of his usefulness to my brothers and me”

“Fantastic!” He replied cheerfully. You smiled “It's wonderful (Y/N), thank you”

“No problem”

Then a silence settled between you, being cut off only by the babble of the gnomes outside the barn kicking the timbers trying to get inside. Arthur cleared his throat as he ran his little blue eyes over each of the walls of his newly renovated barn. He smiled again placing one of his hands on your shoulder

"I found out what happened with Molly in the morning," he mentioned. You nodded “My children told me what you said to each other and ...”

"I'm sorry I spoke badly to your wife, Mr. Weasley" you interrupted, sipping your glass all at once, leaving it on the floor. "I know after this I'll have to talk to William and find another place to stay."

“She is not like that. She rarely has such behavior with the people and I can only think that my Molly has a lot of mixed feelings. The war has us all nervous and the fact that the memories of the past have arisen again ... they make her have reactions that are not very usual in Molly.”

"I'm not blaming her. I think she's right”

“Why?”

"What I did to my family ... running away, betray them..." You started playing with your fingers on your lap, embarrassed. "It's not something a trustworthy person would do."

“What are you talking about?”

“For the Grants, it’s very important to support the family in their endeavors without stopping to think if that could be harmful to the others. With uncle Tom becoming the most dangerous dark wizard of all times ... people would think that his relatives would follow his steps and they did “Mr. Weasley listened attentively, ignoring the screams of his wife announcing that the food was ready “At least most of them. Now all of us are tied to the He-who-must-not-be-named, whether we want it or not. It ruined our lives and I couldn't stay in that place forever

"Why aren't you on his side?"

"Because I can't see my brothers make a wrong decision" You crumpled the newspaper with your hands looking at how the pic of Lord Voldemort turned into a streaked stain "I have my own convictions, even if you don’t believe so”

"I don't believe anything of you, (Y/N)" Arthur's voice turned stoic as he stared at you harshly. "Neither the good nor the bad. I am a believer that you should judge someone by what demonstrates, not by what it’s said about them. Right now you aren’t showing me anything but that there is something in your family that you don’t like and that the dirt in my barn is intolerable to you”

You smiled

"We're all here waiting to see what are you capable of. Good or bad, you get to decide who (Y/N) Grant is from now on. Starting over. Forget that the Grants' actions make you worthy of the consequences”

Warmth attacked your chest. It was comforting to feel for the first time the acceptance of someone who wasn't doing it out of mere compassion or that it was Bill. That Arthur gave you the benefit of the doubt encouraged you to continue as before: trying, trying, trying.

"I think his wife doesn't think the same."

Arthur Weasley patted your shoulder.

"I'll talk to her, she'll understand. Meanwhile let's go home, it's time for lunch”

"Did Bill come back?"

"Yes, my son and I came back from the ministry a while ago.He wanted to find you, but I asked him to let me do it. You know, because sometimes it's good to have the daughters-in-law on your side”

Your cheeks heated up and then the rest of your face turned completely red. Arthur studied your reaction, smiling as he realized you were just a kid looking for approval. He patted your shoulder again, inviting you to leave the rest of the mess and accompany him to the burrow.

"These aren’t a good times to trust the Daily Prophet," Arthur mentioned, noticing the crumpled newspaper in your hands. You skipped the pond and skirted the cornfield until you reached the garden entrance where Bill's brothers and Bill himself had set up a long table near Molly's apple tree where they planned to spend the afternoon. One of the twins raised his wand putting the cuterly across the table, one set for each of the family members. You wondered if there would be a place for you at the table “Honestly, these are not good times to trust anything or anyone, so if you accept my advice, don't worry too much about reading the newspapers, they will leave you more questions than answers, Hey, you will break that!

Arthur scolded his twins when they fiddled with forks in a battle to find out which of them would wash the dishes after eating. Arthur ran towards them while Bill approached you greeting you with a kiss on the cheek. He frowned, watching you closely and then removed his coat, draping it over your shoulders.

"What the hell were you doing outside without a sweater?" It's freezing!”

"You worry way too much," you told him, pressing the faux fur against your shivering body. The truth was that, after the exchange of words with Bill's mother, you didn’t have the time to get a sweater before leaving and of course your wounded pride wouldn’t let you get dressed again before going to hide in the barn. Bill clicked his tongue rubbing your arms. "I'm fine, I just lost track of the time cleaning your father's barn and I didn't feel the cold until now”

"You're bad at lying, did you know that?"

"You should stop asking so many questions." You smiled at the grimace on the older Weasley's face. "Nothing happened."

"That's not what the twins told me," he suddenly mentioned. You felt the tension in Bill's body when Molly passed by him giving you a dangerous look, however you decided to ignore it for the good of both of you “ What my mom said ...”

"It’s okay, it doesn't matter I discussed it with your father and we worked it out”

“Are you sure?” You nodded “I hope so. Not because she’s my mother I will let her offend you in any way”

Your smile widened. You couldn't possibly love that man more than you already did. You approached his body, throwing your arms around Bill's neck, having to stand on your tiptoes to reach only to kiss his chin. He lowered his head, managing to bring his lips together.

“Help your brothers set the table, I'll go take a bath”

"Don't you prefer i help you instead?" You laughed

"I can do it by myself, thanks”

"Hmm ... you sure?”

"William ...”

"Okay, okay, okay," he urged you leaving a couple of kisses on the corner of your lips. "Don't be gone too long. i’ll miss you, love."

“I will not. Wait for me just here, yeah?”

You went upstairs to the room you shared with Bill and jumped into the shower enjoying the warmth of the water above your head. You leaned against the tiles thinking that your first day in the burrow had turned out very bad, but better than you had thought. Even if Molly didn't believe your words, you would do your best to fullfil the expectations of the others members of the Order. You would be loyal to them, to the Aurors, and you would fight whoever you had to to prove that your actions were worth more than the rumors surrounding the Grants did.

You were going to prove how wrong they were with you and, incidentally, you would forge a reputation of your own, one of which you would proud of

Tag:

@purple-vodka-99​

[ruthoakenshield]

Thorin, Fili, Emma and the Unusual Arrangement - Part 11

[Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10]

This tale is for 18+ readers only.

If smut, angst, fluff, backdoor entry, oral (m&f receiving), and threesome offend you, do NOT read below the cut!!!  

In this Alternate Universe Hobbit tale, Thorin and Company find an injured Dwarrowdam in the wild who is alone. They take her into the company and heal her, insisting that she stay with them so she stays safe. During  the quest, Thorin, Fili and the Dwarrowdam find themselves  in an unusual  arrangement out of necessity and by the will of the  Dwarven god, Mahal.  What is the unusual arrangement? Will the arrangement work out? Will the line of Durin survive the Quest and reclaim Erebor?

(I  do not claim ownership of any of Tolkien’s characters, languages or  places, nor do I claim ownership of  Tauriel’s character. )

--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--~~--

Balin sat on the bench watching you fighting Dwalin and Beorn stood in the doorway. “The little female is a feisty and quick little thing, isn’t she?” Beorn says chuckling as you get another hit on Dwalin. “Yes, she’s incredibly stubborn as well.” Balin replies.

The other Dwarrow are placing bets as they congregate on the porch to watch, making Beorn chuckle.

They both chuckle watching Dwalin get frustrated as over and over he disarms you and you seemingly as if by magic have another weapon in that hand. “How is it she has so many weapons, but still ended up being hurt with all of you around?” Beorn asks as he watches. Balin explains to him a little of what happened, leaving out certain details. Beorn nods. “Oh, I see.” He laughs when you pin Dwalin against the tree and make him drop the axes.

Fili and Thorin come around the corner of the building and see you and Dwalin fighting and see you pin him against the tree with your quick move. They decide to sneak up on you to see if they can capture you and take you off to talk someplace on the property. Thorin tries first, but you hear him coming and whirl around with Dwalin’s axes and hold him at axe point, surprising him.

Thorin sees the fury in your eyes and sees how angry you are with him. He raises his hands, and you growl. Thorin sees Dwalin get up and quietly as he can move behind you intending to pick up your sword to ‘rescue’ Thorin. Fili and the other Dwarves, Bilbo, and Beorn all watch eager to see how this pans out.

“Don’t even think of it, Dwalin.” You say as he starts to bend to pick up your sword. Thorin sees Dwalin freeze and look up at him shocked. Thorin smirks and tilts his head away to the side, letting him know to back off.

Thorin starts to slowly shift to your left, trying to distract you so you don’t see or hear Fili coming. Just as Fili swings trying to catch you by surprise, Thorin sees you duck. What he doesn’t see is that when you do so, you also swing low. Suddenly Thorin’s feet are swiped out from under him and continuing the motion, you catch Fili’s as well. Dropping them both in seconds. They both lie there on their backs stunned. “How did you do that?” Fili asks.

You explain about your Father training you, and hand Dwalin back his axes as he is roaring with laughter. Thorin gets up and helps Fili up while you and Dwalin both pick up all your weapons and you re-sheath them into your hidden holsters.

Thorin sees you pick up your sword last and look at it and sigh. “I miss using the Axes, I’m not as good with the sword as I was with the axes.” You say. “Then we help you get better with it.” Thorin says, happy to find something the two of you can do to spend time together and to help you get better at it. He is surprised and puzzles when you growl and snap at him, “I did not ask for your help in the matter.”

Thorin frowns and looks from Dwalin, who is also frowning and puzzled, to Fili who has the same expression. Thorin says, annoyed, “I am your Husband, it is my job to do that.” You growl and storm off around the side of the cabin, leaving the three of them and the spectators all standing or sitting there puzzled.

“What… is… her… problem?!?” Thorin growls. “Beats me, Thorin. But whatever it is she’s not happy with you.” Dwalin says, slapping Thorin on the back. Thorin rubs his face and growls. “How am I supposed to fix what’s wrong if she won’t let me talk to her?” he asks. “I haven’t a clue, Thorin. You’d have to ask someone who’s Married.” Dwalin tells him.

----------

Balin watches your reaction to Thorin and Fili charging in and frowns. “Oh, Lass, when are you going to forgive them and talk to them instead of pushing them both away?” he says quietly.

“What do you mean, Balin?” Bilbo asks, suddenly standing beside Balin. Balin sighs. “Something happened to Em when Thorin and Fili were with her and they did something that hurt her emotionally. It was unintentionally done and neither understand what it is that they did to upset her, and she is struggling to figure out how to deal with it, and is being stubborn. You have to remember, Bilbo, they all are new at this. Em and Thorin have only been a couple for a month. They haven’t had the time to get used to each other and haven’t learned to communicate yet in a healthy way. Sometimes Thorin has a short fuse and will say things that hurt people and not realize it.” Balin explains to Bilbo.

“Fili, is just getting started in this relationship and just did what Thorin had shown him. He didn’t realize how it was grating on Em’s nerves and she didn’t want to say anything since it was his day to learn. She didn’t want to spoil it for him. But he kept doing it apparently last night and this morning and she finally had enough. It sounds like she tried to talk to them and Thorin didn’t understand and reprimanded her. She let them finish but then locked herself in the bathroom till they left the bedroom, then has locked herself in the bedroom for the morning trying to work things out. She kept getting pestered by both Thorin and Fili knocking at the door, so she refused to answer.

I think she isn’t sure how to explain to Thorin what the problem is for fear of being reprimanded or disciplined again.” Balin explains.

Bilbo’s eyes open wide, “Ohhh!!!” he exclaims. They walk to the end of the porch and see you storming off to the far end of the property to the grove of trees. Balin also sees Fili following at a distance. “Be careful, Laddie.” He warns quietly. Balin and Bilbo watch as Fili follows you and you don’t seem to notice. He hides about a couple yards away and leans against a tree, watching you.

Balin sees you pull the necklace off you were wearing and you begin to spin it like a propeller. His eyes open wide when it slices off the tall grasses and also a few new tree branches. “How’d she do that?” Bilbo asks bewildered. “I’m not sure, Bilbo. Perhaps she’ll show us the necklace later on.” Balin replies.

They continue to watch you with the necklace and see Fili pull out his sword and disappear into the grove of trees. “What are you doing, Fee?” Balin says frustrated. They watch as you continue to spin the necklace and just as they see Fili step out next to you with his sword pointed up, they also hear the ‘clang’ of the necklace hitting the blade and wrap around it.

Balin sees Thorin and Dwalin start to move to see what made the noise. “Stop, you two. Let her be. She’s fine.” He warns. They look up at Balin and frown, then head back over to the Oak in the yard and continue to talk.

Balin goes back to watching and frowns. “Bilbo, where did they go?” he asks.

When Fili caught Em’s necklace on the sword, he yanked on it hard, and she went flying into his arms. He grabbed her free hand and she started to struggle. He pulled her over to the tree and backed her against it, then shifted over so I couldn’t see them.

Balin frowns for a moment. “Well, he is her One, and I don’t think he’ll do anything on purpose to hurt her. He’s of age, so there’s nothing we can do. Hopefully he can get her to calm down and finally talk to her and get this mess cleared up.” Balin says.

“Are you sure, Balin?” Bilbo asks, worried. “Yes, Bilbo. Fili loves her and he’s much better at dealing with upset and stubborn people than Thorin is. Fili just has a natural ability to be patient and calm in stressful situations. If anyone can get her to calm down and talk, it’ll be him. It takes a lot to make Fili lose his temper. Don’t worry, Bilbo. Em’s safe with Fili.” Balin assures him.

----------

About an hour later, Fili comes walking back up looking incredibly sad. “What’s the matter, Laddie?” Balin asks, seeing his face. “I just feel bad for Em.” He says sitting on the step next to Balin. “Did you get her to talk after ye pinned her to the tree?” he asks.

Fili chuckles. “Yeah, it took quite a while though, to get her to calm. She would calm for a few moments, then start to struggle again and I’d have to try to calm her again. I felt like I was trying to tame a wild beast who didn’t trust me.” He explains. “I didn’t dare let my guard down with her, knowing she was heavily armed and upset.” He says quietly.

Balin chuckles. “Fili, if anyone could tame her, it’d be you. You have more patience than any of the Durins alive.” Fili grins. “She finally let me take the necklace from her so she couldn’t use it and let me hold her. As soon as I sat down behind her and held her, she just broke down and bawled. I just held her and let her cry, then she was able to finally talk, and I asked her why she was so upset with us.

She explained what happened and why she was so upset. I feel so bad, Balin! I didn’t realize it was bothering her so much! She said she didn’t say anything cuz she knew I was supposed to be exploring and learning. I wish she’d have said something though. I know I was supposed to be giving her pleasures, but I also wanted it to be special for her too, not just for me.” He says sadly.

“Lad, you need to remember that she’s fairly new to this too. Both her and Thorin. She’s still learning to communicate her feelings regarding sex and intimacy. She said when I talked to her earlier, that she was just kind of ‘Dwarfed out’ and needed some alone time. I don’t blame her. She’s been stuck with us non-stop for nigh on 6 months now, with hardly a break. Even when she would go to bathe or freshen up, I suspect Thorin was following to keep an eye on her and keep her safe.” Balin says.

“And then all this with the dream from Mahal and Thorin’s quick courting of her so they could be married and learn what they could to teach you, it’s been an overwhelming lot for her to try to deal with in a short amount of time.” he explains.

Fili sighs and nods. “I gave her my courting beads and my first courting gift and asked if she’d be alright with me sharing with Uncle what she told me, so he’d understand why she’s acting like this. I told her we’ll give her some space and when she’s ready for us to sleep with her again, to come to us and let us know. She said she was fine with that and would let us know when she wanted to sleep and be intimate with us again.” He explains to Balin.

“That’s good of you Fili. You have more of a level head than Thorin does about these things. You may have to do this from time to time to smooth out squabbles they have. They both are stubborn Dwarves with short tempers.” Balin says chuckling. Fili sighs. “I know, Balin. I don’t mind if it helps to keep the peace.” He says. “I’m just worried about Uncle. Do you think the Dragon Sickness will affect him like it did Thror?”

Balin sighs and shrugs. “I don’t know, Lad, IF it does, we may have to hide Em away from him. We don’t need him getting her pregnant before you do. The first born she has will most likely be a male, and that needs to be yours, if you are to keep your place as Thorin’s heir. We’ll just have to keep a close eye on Thorin and Em. If we notice his behaviour changing, then we’ll have to put our heads together with Dwalin and come up with a plan to keep her safe.” Balin says quietly. Fili sighs and nods.

“Balin, where’s Uncle?” he asks. “Thorin, Beorn, Kili and Dwalin went off that way I’m not sure what they were doing.” He tells Fili. Fili stands and nods. “Thanks, Balin.” He says, then heads off in the direction that Balin indicated.

Fili found his Brother, Dwalin and Thorin talking with Beorn in his forge about making a pair of axes for you after seeing that demonstration. Beorn agreed to forge them and asked if Thorin wouldn’t mind him giving them to the “Little Female” to help keep her safe. “If the King of Mirkwood dares to take them from her he will have my wrath to face.” Beorn growls.

Thorin tells Beorn that is fine and asks Kili and Dwalin to help Beorn with designing it. Thorin sees Fili standing at the entrance to the forge and comes over. “Were you able to talk with her, Fee?” he asks. Fili nods and motions for Thorin to follow him. They go over by the fence where the ponies were grazing. Fili tells Thorin what all he had to do to get you to talk and Thorin’s eyes open wide. Then he frowns when he hears Fili say you broke down and just bawled. He feels bad hearing that you were so upset.

Fili tells Thorin what you had explained to him and Thorin drops his head, “Ohh, Em!” he exclaims and rubs his face, groaning. “I didn’t realize that she was getting upset by that! I’m sorry, Fili.” He apologizes. “I know Uncle. I didn’t realize it either. She didn’t say anything about it cuz she didn’t want to hinder my exploring and learning, and didn’t want to ruin my special day and discourage me. I get it, it’s understandable.” Fili tells his Uncle.

“But you giving her that swat on the rear and the reprimand after she tried to tell us what she was feeling, made her feel like you were treating her as a impudent pebble and not as your Wife. It hurt her a lot emotionally, and made her frustrated that she didn’t communicate it right, so we could understand. I think she felt like we weren’t listening or paying attention to her needs and only seeking ours. That’s why she’s so upset. She tried to tell us how it was making her feel and tried to show us how frustrating it was for her, but we didn’t understand that was what she was trying to say and do. She was trying to remind us that we’re not giving and taking, we’re just giving it to her. When she’d give it back to us, we’d get upset.” Fili explains.

Thorin groans, nods, and sighs, “I owe her an apology.” He says. “Where is she, Fee?” She’s over by the grove of trees at the corner of the property. Uncle, she asked if we’d just give her some space for a while. She said she’s needing a break from being intimate, that she’s sore and just needs a break from the constant attention. I told her we’d give her some space and let her come to us when she’s ready to be intimate again. I don’t blame her, it’s been a lot of constant ‘practice’ for her and then all the sex yesterday. I’m sure she’s still reeling from it all.” Fili explains. Thorin looks sad, but nods. I will let her have her space. I understand what you’re saying, Fee.” He says. “Thanks for talking with her and letting me know.”

Thorin walks back to the forge and asks Beorn if he would mind letting him pick a small bouquet of flowers to give to Em. “Go ahead, Thorin, I do not mind.” Beorn tells him. Thorin goes and picks some flowers for you and takes a cloth and gets it wet in the bucket at the well, then he ties it around the base of the flowers with some twine and goes to find you.

You’re sitting against the tree, looking sad and staring off into nowhere. Your eyes were red-rimmed and there were tear tracks down your cheeks. Thorin saw Fili’s courting braids next to his marriage ones and smiles. He slowly comes up to you and you glance up and see him.

It makes his heart ache seeing the sad look in your eyes. He kneels down and offers you the flowers. “Fili told me he talked with you and informed me why you were so upset.” He tells you. “I am incredibly sorry, Sweetheart. I did not understand what you were trying to tell us. I am sorry I reprimanded you and swatted your ass like I did. Will you forgive me?” he asks.

Your eyes will up with tears, and you nod. He places the flowers against your lap. “Love, what can I do to make things right between us? What do you need?” he asks. “Just hold me for now.” You say quietly between sobs.

Thorin comes over and sits beside you, his back to the tree. “Come here, my Love.” He says quietly and you crawl over into his lap and cuddle against him and quietly cry. “Honey, if something we do from now on, is bothering you, please, tell us right away. Just say, “Thorin/Fili, please stop doing that” and tell us what we’re doing that is making you annoyed or whatever you are feeling. We can be a bit dense, as you can see. I’m sorry we got upset with you when you tried to tell us before. And I’m sorry we were not receiving what we were giving out. I did not realize it was bothering you that much.” He murmurs and holds your head in his hand as you tucked it under his chin.

You nod and sigh, feeling better that you finally were able to make Fili understand, and that he could make Thorin understand what you were feeling.

“We will give you your space, Love and will let you rest in peace tonight. If you change your mind and get too cold or lonely, we will be in the barn or wherever the rest of our company decided to sleep.” Thorin says. “We love you Em. I Love you more than anything in this world. You are a treasure and a rare gift. I am incredibly blessed to have a part of it. I am sorry I hurt you with my words and actions and am glad that you forgive me. We are all still learning, Sweetheart, please be patient with us. Just remember we love you and do not wish to hurt you or make you do anything you do not wish to do.” Thorin coos.

“Fili and I will do our best to keep you safe and happy. I look forward to the time Erebor is ours, and is cleaned and put back in order and we stand at the gates and welcome our Kingdom back into their rightful home.” He murmurs. “I look forward to the day I can place a golden crown on your head and introduce you to our subjects as my Wife and our Queen.” He purrs and kisses your forehead, then rests his against it.

“I am sorry I got mad at you after I got done ‘practicing’ with Dwalin. I should’ve asked you, but I was still mad at you and needed something large to pummel. I figured Dwalin was the only one who could probably take it and not get upset; and I didn’t want to fight you yet. I wasn’t ready to deal with you.” You say quietly and look down.

“Hey,” Thorin says softly, tilting your head to look at him. “It’s alright, Love. Dwalin didn’t mind. It amused him greatly that you were able to pin him to the tree like you did. He kept saying, “I’d disarm her and think I had her finally, and then ‘poof!’ she had another weapon in the hand that I just had disarmed, as if it were some magic trick!” Thorin mimics. You giggle, “Did you see what Fili, Elladan and Elrohir did to the staff you and Fili made me?” you ask.

“No, I don’t think I did. What did they do to it?” Thorin asks. You giggle and say, They cut it in half, then made long gaps in it and inserted blades into it so when it’s pulled apart I have two long, thin blades that will never need sharpening.” You giggle. Thorin laughs and asks, “So how many weapons now do you have, between those on your harnesses, boots and inside you plus what the Elves of Rivendell gave us?” Thorin asks.

He grins, seeing you counting them in your head. You giggle and reply, ninety-eight.” Thorin’s jaw drops and he just laughs… hard… “Oh, Sweetheart, you are definitely Fili’s One! I’m going to have to start calling you my little bodyguard once we get back to Erebor!” he exclaims. You grin. “Did you see what Elrond and Arwen gave me?” you ask. Thorin shakes his head.

You take off the flower necklace and let Thorin look at it. He examines it and hands it back to you. “It’s pretty.” He replies. You grin and stand. Thorin watches as you start to spin it over your head like a slingshot, and walk over to the tree and let it lob off one of the young branches. Thorin hears the humming and his eyes open wide when he sees the branch fall and you slow the swing of the necklace and it finally stops. “How did you do that?” he asks. You toss the branch to the side and then sit back in Thorin’s lap. You show him how it opens, and his eyes open wide. He can tell the blades are razor sharp.

You close the flower back up and explain that as you spin it on the chain, the momentum opens it and allows you to slice through anything that gets in it’s path, and that Elrond showed you how to use it for fighting or for protecting yourself. Thorin nods. “A weapon hidden in plain sight.” He says with a smirk.

Grinning, you nod and hook it back around your neck. Then you carefully lift off the other necklace and show it to Thorin. “DO NOT touch the white claw part. It WILL freeze you to death if you do. If the runes on it glow red, it’s warning you not to touch it, if it glows blue, it means it accepts the person holding it as it’s owner.

Fili said Arwen and Elrond told him that only females may wield it and that it chooses who can touch it and who cannot. They told him that if anyone tries to take it from me by force, it will anger the dragon in the necklace and it will instantly freeze them to death through the gold sheath when they grab ahold of the necklace, without them even touching the dragon’s claw itself.” You warn.

Thorin’s eyes get wide. Where did they get a Cold-Drake’s enchanted claw? Those Dragons no longer exist!” Thorin exclaims, looking at it in awe. ‘Arwen’s female relative killed the last one and took it’s claw and enchanted it, then made this necklace. It’s been passed down through the females in her family. They gave it to Fili go give to me saying that I’ll need it to help kill the Dragon should it still be found to be alive in our mountain.” You explain.

Taking the claw from Thorin, you show him how it opens, and he sees it glow blue when you open it. You run your finger along it, caressing it and he sees it does not harm you. “How are you able to touch it and not be frozen?” he asks.

“It will never harm it’s owner. Neither the enchantment nor the weapon itself.” You explain. But do not EVER touch this part of the weapon and DO NOT ever let anyone else touch it either. I do not need to lose my loved ones because they mistakenly touched it.” You warn and close it.

You put it in his hands and tell him to carefully open it. He does and sees the runes immediately glow red in warning. He nods and closes it back and carefully drapes it over your head. “Keep this on you at all times once we leave these walls. Do not take it off for any reason other than to fight. And immediately put it back on when you finish.” He warns. You nod.

“Thorin, Arwen and Elrond warned Fili that I am never to give this weapon up to anyone other than whatever Daughter of mine it chooses to be it’s next owner. If we get captured by Thrandy, and he or his Elves try to make me give it up, I won’t be able to, not even if he threatens the company’s or your life.” You say quietly and look down at it.

“I understand, my Love. It is a very rare weapon and there are few left like it. Always warn someone if they reach out to try to take it from you. That way their blood is on their own head and not yours. Unless it is an orc or goblin, of course.” He amends. You giggle and nod. “Thorin, what do you want me to do if you start to suffer from the Dragon Sickness and you try to take it from me? It’s coated in gold!” you ask quietly.

Thorin sighs. “I cannot promise I will not try to take it from you, my Love.” He says sadly. “If you notice my attitude changing towards you and Fili, I want you both to flee. Go away as far as you can, unless Mahal tells you otherwise, then go where he directs. I do not wish to hurt either of you. You are as much his One as you are mine. If I begin to slip into the madness, flee until I either succumb to it or defeat it.” He says, caressing your face. “Promise, me you both will do that!” he says urgently. “PLEASE, EM.” He demands. You look sad and promise to do as he wishes.

“Thorin, tell Balin, Dwalin and Fili that too before we leave these protective walls, so it’s not just me keeping watch over you.” You ask. He cups his hands around your face and touches his forehead to yours. “I will, my Love. I will tell the entire company. No matter what happens from the time we leave Beorn’s walls on, know that deep down in my heart, I will always love and cherish you, despite what the sickness may make me do or say. I will try to fight it, but I cannot guarantee that it will not overcome me.” He says sadly.

You sigh and look sad. “Thorin, can we join and just sit and rock for a little bit. I just need to feel you inside me gently rocking once more before we leave.” He nods and shifts further back into the tree line and bushes to give you more privacy. He leans against a tree and undoes his laces and pulls out his member then strokes it till it’s hard. You take your hidden flap on your pants and undo the tie, flipping it open. You tie it to your other thigh.

Thorin’s eyes get wide. You giggle, “What? How else did you expect me to go to the bathroom without having to completely undress my bottom half with all these harnesses on!” you exclaim. He chuckles and you come up to him and lower yourself slowly onto his member. You both groan as it slowly fills you.

Sighing, you rest against Thorin’s chest and he wraps you in his arms. The two of you rock and you feel him shifting inside you. You smile and the two of you just stay like that for a while. “Em, when we leave these walls, will you hide my dagger inside you again, like you had it when we first met? If the Elves discover your harnesses and make you remove them, I want you to still have this one if possible, just be careful how you bend and move, I spotted it when the light caught the gems on the handle and could see it when you knelt at the lake as you washed your clothes.” He warns. You nod and let him hold you.

“If you have to leave because I am being taken by the sickness. Give the dagger to Dwalin and tell him to leave it in my chambers. If I succumb to the sickness, tell him I told you that I wish to be buried with it in my hand, as it was your gift to me on our wedding night and is precious to me.” He tells you. You nod. “I love you, Em. Always remember that.” He says and hugs you tightly.

“Thorin, will you cum inside me one more time? Then I will need a break for a while, I’m needing a breather after this. I’m kind of ‘sexed out’. Give me a few days to just be, and rest from it all.” You ask. “I will do whatever you need, my Love.” He tells you.

Thorin holds you and shifts onto his knees. You wrap your legs around his hips, and he rocks and picks up the pace gradually, until you both cum with a soft moan in each other’s necks. He rocks a little as he holds you while you both come down, then he slows to a stop. “Is that what you needed, my Love?” he asks. You nod. “Thank You,” you say and caress his beard. You kiss him softly and he moans quietly. “I love you Em. I love you SO much.” He says as you slowly pull off and he cleans you up then himself while you readjust your flap.

Thorin stands and pulls you to his chest and holds you, leaning against the tree. You let him hold you as long as he needs. He kisses the top of your head and sighs. “It’s getting late, I’m sure Bombur will have supper ready soon.” He tells you. You nod and Thorin takes your hands and kisses them both. Thank you for letting me talk and apologize and make love to you one more time before we must leave here.” He tells you. You reach up and caress his beard “Thank you for coming and apologizing I felt so empty being mad with you and Fee. Like a huge chunk of me was missing.” You tell him. “It feels better now that we’ve made up.”

Thorin smiles and nods. “Come, grab your flowers and let’s go and eat.” He tells you. You nod and walk to them, pick them up and take Thorin’s hand and you follow him back to the house.

Everyone smiles seeing you two come into the house holding hands and getting along. “You two made up?” Bofur asks. You nod. “Good.” He says and you chuckle.

It is crowded with Bombur moving around trying to get supper made and Bofur helping to keep him on track. Thorin tells you he’s gonna go see what everyone is up to. So, you climb up into Beorn’s chair and enjoy smelling your flowers while you watch Bofur and Bombur. A few little white mice come join you on the chair and you squeak at first, seeing them; but they look at you with such an adorable face that you gently reach out a finger to them. One brave little one scampers over and takes it in his hands and looks all over for food, when it finds none, it rubs itself against you and you grin at how soft it is. “Oh! You are so soft, little mousie!” you exclaim.

Bofur grumbles how they keep coming on the table looking for food. “Well, it is their home, Bofur. It won’t hurt to give them a little of the food. I’m sure they are hungry too and think your cooking smells delicious and want a sample.” You say, stroking his ego a little bit with some flattery. He pauses, looks at you and chuckles. He gives you some cheese and bread that you share with the little white mice. You are immediately their friend, and they spend the rest of the night following you around to everyone’s amusement.

Beorn comes in when supper is ready, and he chuckles seeing you sitting in his chair with his little white mice crawling all over you and you’re giving them little bits of cheese and bread as you nibble on the food yourself. “Ohh, little female, now you’ve gone and done it. They’ll be following you around for the rest of the night!” he says with a grin. You giggle. “They are so soft and cute!” you say. And he chuckles. “Here, little Lass, I have a gift for you.” He tells you as he comes over.

You hop down off of his chair and come over to the footrest where he set the bundle so you could open it. You untie it and giggle with glee seeing two sharp axes. They are carved with a roaring bear’s head on both sides of each of them, and the Durin border down each side of the handle. “If anyone east of here tries to take these from you and I find out, they will have to answer to me and face my wrath. I have made these for you as a gift of friendship. You are always welcome here. I know you have many weapons, but these you seem to fight better with than with your sword. May they serve you well, little female.” He tells you. You giggle at his name for you.

Picking them up, you feel they are well made and perfectly balanced. Grinning, you crane your neck up to him and give him a beaming smile. “Thank you, Beorn for the wonderful gift! They are perfect for me!” you tell him and hug his leg, since it was all you could reach. He chuckles and reaches down to pat your back gently. “I am glad you like them. Perhaps after supper you can give them a try.” He suggests and you grin and nod. He picks them up and sets them aside, for now. “Let us eat now, you all I’m sure have packing to do. Is there anything else you need, little female?” Beorn asks.

You think for a minute then say, “Herbs for the morning tea Oin gives me, and sturdy cloth to make patches with on my new clothes. The Elves didn’t realize the holes were supposed to be there, so I have to cut holes in the new clothes they made for me, and sew fake patches on top to keep the flaps down, so it doesn’t scream, ‘hidden weapon located here’.” You say. Everyone giggles. “I will see what I have for you, little female.” Beorn tells you and you all sit and eat.

Once you all are done eating and have rested your bellies for a little bit, Beorn hands you your new axes and you grin, spin them in your hand and march outside to the cheers of the Dwarrow. It was getting dark out and was going to make it a bit more challenging for you, but you didn’t mind. Your Adad trained you well.

[eerythingisshaka]

Wish Granted Pt. 2

[Yahya Abdul Mateen II x Black OC]

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N:  I decided to make this a series and instead of reader, it is an original character. Strap in!

( Read Part 1 here)

That morning, Yahya and Corrine bask in the glow of the new morning sun, sharing a table by the front window enjoying eggs benedict, toast, with a stack of pancakes to share.  Corrine dipped some of her bacon into the leftover egg and sauce along her plate, chasing it with the remaining orange juice in her glass.  She goes to grab for more from the pitcher when Yahya’s hand surrounds hers.

“I have a flight tonight at 6,”  he says.

Corrine nods slowly.  “Ok.”

He looks sorry as he continues, “It got changed last minute.”

“Sure...can I ...pour my juice now?” Corrine asks, making Yahya awkwardly rest his hands on the table to allow you access to the pitcher.

“And with traffic, I should probably start getting ready to go now.”

Corrine sips her drink, wiping her mouth gingerly with the cloth napkin and sets it down.  “I gave you back that ring, right?”

Yahya nods.  “And your scarf is in your room at the hotel.”

“It’s not mine but...thanks.”  Corrine says quietly.  She pushes her fork around in the remnants of her plate, squeaking every so often against the porcelain.

Yahya leans forward.  “I still want to stay in contact.  Just because I live out of town doesn’t mean we can’t not see each other, you know?”

Corrine smiles with wide eyes like he just said something offensive.  “If that’s what you think, that is fine.  But honestly how would that work?  I couldn’t keep a guy to get a proposal and I spent at least half of my 20s hanging with him.  Don’t you think this is a bit much?”

Yahya sits back, looking out the window for distraction.

“I mean I am fine with a one night stand.  Thank you for being what I needed at the time, it was definitely a night I will never forget but let’s not make this weird.”

Yahya sighs, looking around for presumably the waitress and pulls out his wallet.  “I can’t believe you’re flipping like this.”

“It’s not a flip, just...this happens.  Like, come on Yahya, we don’t know each other.  Can you seriously say you want to try and make this a long term thing base don our track records?”

Yahya puts some bills on the table.  “I thought you hadn’t done this before?”

Corrine shrugs.  “Ok, truthfully, not since college had I done this before.  Before...him,” she says with a cringe.

Yahya folds his arms across his chest looking at her with amazement.  “So you really used me?  I am your rebound and now you’re backing out?  Or is it because I am not conveniently at your beck and call now that you’re scared to try something new?”

Corrine scoffs.  “I don’t need to explain it, I made it clear.  Long distance will not work.  That’s it!”

“I disagree.  And I want you to see that I am right and you’re wrong.”

“Yahya…”

“Corrine….”  Yahya says, biting his lip playfully.

Corrine rolls her eyes, pulling out her purse to rifle through it.  Not able to find a piece of paper, she takes an unused napkin and scribbles on the front with her dying pen.

“Look, I will give you my number.  Do with it what you want, I’m not holding you to it though,”

She hands it to a confused look Yahya.  “I could just give you my phone to put it in?”

“I’m old school.  Plus, watch you accidentally use it and mess up the ink or ball it up thinking it’s trash.  I wanna know you can be responsible with an important document such as that napkin with my number on it.”

Yahya looks at it, puts it down and grabs a five off of the stack of bills he had set on the table.

“Let me borrow that pen,”  he asks, scribbling his number across the front of Lincoln’s face.

“Whoa!  What are you doing?”  Corrine asks, leaning to get a glimpse for herself before Yahya gives her the defaced bill.

“And here is my number.  If your theory checks out, it shouldn’t be hard to keep up with or lose, unless you accidentally spend it on some shoes or a new purse, right?”

Corrine glares at him.  “Ha Ha.  Here, let me at least put some money back on this since you probably just took the girl’s tip money for this.”

Yahya waves her off.  “Please, it’s still 20% without it, we good.”

Corrine folds the five up in a side pocket in her bag.  “Then that’s it right?”

Yahya stares through the table, nodding blankly.  When he looks at Corrine he fights a smirk.

“I really had a good time.”

“I did too.”

Yahya and Corrine step out of the restaurant, parting with one last hug as his car arrives to pick him.  Corrine holds him close, smelling the fresh soap from the morning shower he took just a couple hours ago.  His shoulders and back solid under her hands, she imagines if she lifts her feet, he wouldn’t bend or fold even slightly.

His hands spread along her back before sliding slowly around her waist, kissing a spot behind her ear that makes her curl back and chuckle.

“I’ll call you,”  Yahya says inches from Corrine’s face as she nods.  “You gonna call me?”

“When you call me, I will,”  she says, putting her hand to the side of his face, trying to memorize every feature and feeling it gave her.  One last kiss would make her fly in the cab with him, so she backs off, waving goodbye.

A month goes by and Corrine has finally packed up all of James’s things in two boxes.  She sits on the couch staring at them sat next to her front door.  His life with her fit in just two boxes?  They weren’t officially living together yet but he spent so much time with her that it seemed like there would be more things.  Most of it is laundry that needs washing and DVDs he brought over because he refused to buy them on digital again.

Corrine scrolls through her phone absentmindedly as she waits.  A message pops up that makes her jump out of the blue.

Hey, how’s your morning beautiful?

It’s fine for now.  Still waiting on him.

Don’t let him bother you.  Just tell him to the left and leave!

Of course girl.  Why mess with a beyonce blueprint?

Works every time!  Also, don’t forget to meet us for our lunch date after.

Sounds good.

Corrine gets up to check out of her patio door and sees his car park outside.  James strolls across the grass, which instinctively makes her cringe.  She always told him to watch doing that so he doesn’t end up walking in dog shit.  

She waits for his knock patiently, not wanting him to know she saw him already.  Her phone chimes again.

Outside, it reads.

Corrine groans at the rude tone of his one word text.  As she opens the door he’s leaning on the frame in a way that reminds you of one of Danny Zuko’s boys from Grease.  Leather jacket on even though it's 85 degrees out, distressed blue jeans that fit snug around his lean legs with some schmegular all white Adidas.  

“I already packed your stuff,”  she says, walking backwards to point to the left as practiced.  James takes one step in with his hands in his pockets and looks to his right at the boxes.

“I could’ve done that,”  he says in a bored tone, looking back at her as if she is visiting him without notice,

“I asked you every week for the past month to come get it.  You think I’m going to wait for you to poke around here and find every little thing of yours on your own?  I don’t think so.”

His fingers find their way around a curl of hair in his high top fade.  “What’s all this energy about though?  I thought we could be cool about it?”

“Why would I be cool about anything with you  after you left me by myself in the city when we were supposed to be celebrating your promotion, right?  But you recall what happened instead?  After 5 and a half years together?”

“I wanted to talk to you in person-”

“You hadn’t done that either for a month, have you?”

James’ jaw flies open.  “Because the only thing you got to say is about picking up my stuff!  You never asked to talk and you didn’t answer my calls!”

“I shouldn’t have to ask to talk!  I’m not the one that said I can’t do this no more!”

“Are you sure Corrine?  Cuz you never acted interested in shit with what I got to do.  You don’t listen to nothing I got to say.”

Corrine scoffs loudly as James kneels to look through the boxes. 

“I never helped YOU?  I got you into a respectable corporate job that paid BILLS for the first time in you life when your cooking career wasn’t pulling weight like you hoped it would!  Now you can earn some capital so you can open your business steadily and not fall flat on your ass!  I gave you so much more mercy than you ever did for me!”

James sucks his teeth and comes to a standing, towering over Corrine.  “I stood by you while you worked to do this lawyer shit you got goin on.  Long nights studying in the living room, out to the library, hell week after hell week to pass your bar.  I barely got a kiss from you at your celebration party.  You always doin the most!”

Corrine grips her temples, completely taken back.  “I can’t believe you’re saying my ambition is a reason to leave me.  I can’t succeed while you’re down and out or you feel less of a man?  Is that it?”

James picks up his boxes in both arms.  “Shut up.”  He walks out the door heading for the steps.

“No, now I got it!  You want me to just stay quiet and patient while you figure things out but I couldn’t carry our relationship for you!  I needed your support too, whether I am studying for hours on end or you’re taking a month long business trip, only to come back unemployed!”

James was out the door about halfway down when he looks back at her.

“You think I wouldn’t know?  I got you that gig, how would I not check into it?  They said you never showed up.  Why?”

James looked off, sighing deeply like a load was taken off even though he was carrying two very heavy boxes.

“You had to get away for a month?  What were you doing for that long that you didn’t tell me?”

James continued to not look at Corrine.  His mind battling with what to say and what not to say was killing her as she looked for him to speak. 

“I won’t take you back James, I just want a good excuse so I can hate you less.  I thought you were going to marry me when you booked that room for us at that fancy spot.  But you broke my heart so bad.”

James continued to walk down the steps without a word.  Corrine watched him pack his car and turn on the engine to peel out.  

--

“Girl, and that’s what he did?”  Simone exclaimed over her half eaten salad.  Her pressed hair pulled back in a bun already gave her a naturally alert look, but Corrine’s turmoil made it that much more apparent.

Corrine pushed around a meatball in her spaghetti.  “That is all he did.  I have no closure to it.”

Bria pats you back gingerly.  “You’ll be fine and he’ll be fine.  It’s just because the break up is still fresh that y’all couldn’t come to an understanding.”

Corrine sits back and shrugs.  “Maybe?  But that’s a big ass lie he dropped on me.  He was gone for a month.  He could have a whole family in another state for all I know.”

Simone points at Corrine, big brown eyes bucking.  “That’s why I told you he look like Cousin Skeeter if he were a real man.  He is just as goofy too.  Nobody should leave for a MONTH without saying anything.”

Bria nods, adjusting her tortoise shell frames.  “He is not worth a thought but you take all the time you need to get past it.  Just move on.  You gave him chance after chance up until the last moment.  It’s time you got to breathe on your own.”

“And speaking of,”  Simone lowers her voice.  “You hear from our hotel daddy yet?”

“Oh God, don’t bring that up now,”  Corrine whines.

“Simone!”  Bria hisses.  “She hasn’t heard from him yet, and honestly by now, there would be some explaining to do instead of dating.”

Corrine lays her head on the table.  “Why is life so hard?  I can’t have a good time with nobody!”

Simone and Bria offer pats as her tears are absorbed by the tablecloth.

“Hey, you know what?  You do still have his number…”

“Simone, no.  I can’t.”

“But!  Instead of cutesy whats up and stuff, you can tell him off maybe?  Give him the lashing every wrong you’ve received deserves.  It might not be constructive but a quick shot of feel good sounds pretty good, right?”

Corrine sits up, dabbing her eyes and feeling the avalanche of snot coming to her nose.  Her cries put all ugly cries to shame.

“I just...it was...he said...he’d call!”  Corrine squeaks out between sobs.

One month turned into two, and so on until Corrine forgot about that night at the hotel.  Busying herself with work was the best thing she could do in order to keep herself feeling good from day to day.  That and happy hours with her girls who vigorously scoped men out for her as her wingwomen.  

Sometimes when she is turning in for the evening, she picks up the base of her little desk mirror to find the $5 bill under it that Yahya scrawled his number on.  The more she looked at it, she wasn’t sure if it ended in a four or a nine, so it’s probably best she kept from calling in order to not look foolish on someone’s phone.

James and her never got back with each other either.  But Corrine is more ok with that.  She figures whatever skeletons he has are bigger than she can manage and she deserves a break.  But Yahya seemed so good and promising, she couldn’t believe she got bamboozled that hard.  He could’ve left that morning, allowing her to sleep away the future but he gave her hope instead and that got snatched away.

So Corrine filled her days digging into practicing law and running errands and not much in between.  But she was ok.  Without the extra baggage of men in her life she felt as if she might’ve unlocked a new level in life.

---

“As you all know, the construction on the new building is being negotiated with several architects in order to get a broad scope of what design would fit the future of our practice the best for years to come.  Let me remind you all that if it weren’t for your dedication to your work around here that we would not be one of the most sought after and winningest law office in the state.”

Applause fills the conference room for Hogel of Garrett, Hogel & Truman as Corrine takes notes on the meetings main points.  Most of the meetings are supplied with a bullet list of the main topics, but she does not enjoy just sitting and staring or she is liable to daydream.

When the meeting comes to a close, it is close enough to the evening and the weekend that she hopes will allow her to get off early and head straight for bed.  Her feet kill her in the stiff three inch pumps she wears for ten hours straight, and her local Chinese spot was calling her name for some springfield chicken.

When she makes it back to her desk, her heart flips with joy as she sees no new files to review and archive, and since she got ahead of her projects for the week, it seems the weekend has finally begun.

She kicks off her heels to slide into her worn in athletic shoes, feeling her feet melt into the dips that the insole has created to mold to her feet.  Her heart beats in the bottoms of her foot from being released from their patent leather binding which is both uncomfortable and satisfying.  But even if they were chopped off at the shin, these feet would lead her to her car and get her to her home paradise.  

Corrine walks down the hall to the elevators, hearing noises from people as she gets close.  She feels a little anxious, preferring an empty elevator at her departure time but is willing to deal so that the exit is quicker.

As the group of voices rounds a corner leading away from her, she sees a man standing head above the whites that surround him.  A navy blue suit fitting tailored to wide set shoulder funneling down to a slim but sturdy waist, made her knees buckle a moment, causing her to slow her pace forward.  He walks away, laughing one of those polite laughs one gives to company they want to impress.  He hits the elevator button, listening to one of the partners speak until his gaze travels over them and spots her.

She feels her brain black out and her heart fall out of her ass and flight took over in her fight or flight response.  

“Corinne!”  he calls after her, but she pays him no attention rounding the corner.  Stairs would have to work, no matter how much her feet her from the day, anything would do over having to see him make up whatever excuse he had to not call her.  And what the hell is he doing at her job?  Is he a lawyer?  Is he looking for counsel?  What if he is a fraud that manipulates women and sues them for some old timey bullshit laws like alienation of affection.

She thanked God that coincidence didn’t find him in the parking garage as Corrine finally made it home but settled on some leftovers she had in the fridge instead of her beloved Chinese food.  At this point she still hadn’t calmed down from earlier.  What if he is at the Chinese place?  Where the hell does he live anyway?  To be in the same area as her work, he couldn’t be far.  She couldn’t remember where he said he was from, if they even covered that much information but she was not going to entertain his presence, he is a ghost to her.  

In her bedroom she takes the five and slips it in her purse to make sure she spends the bill, like it's the reason he is back.  She will have to treat him like a ghost.  He won’t know she ever waited for him or thought about him after that night. 

[otometearoom]

I Finished Tsumugu Logic!! Overview/Rant

It took me a month, but I finished the last chapter of the game and got the true ending. I will keep playing to get all of the other bad ends, etc. 

I have so so many feels about this game, y’all. I will be highlighting a few chapters in the game, so if you haven’t finished it. Beware of spoilers!!

[MANY SPOILERS/ENDINGS BELOW]

To recount my feelings throughout the game for each character: 

1. Tsumugu is a cutie pie. I actually really related to him, because I’m also at that point in my life where I have to decide what exactly I want to do for the rest of my life. I just finished university, but I’m still unsure about my career ahahah. So, seeing Tsumugu struggle to figure his life out was refreshing. 

2. “Sosei” is so hot. I laid eyes on him and thought, uh-oh, he’s my new addiction ahahah. I would buy his merchandise if there was any. The dude loves sweets (how cute is that) and he has such a good head for mysteries (my dream man). Plus, he’s a tsundere but really cares about Tsumugu, often giving hints and advice to him. He’s a very trustworthy older brother/senpai. I could gush over how much I love Sosei for ages. His drunken habits -> those are to die for. He becomes so lewd and straightforward. I love it. 

“Koyo”, on the other hand, I didn’t like him as much as Sosei. Which is weird, cause I love ikemen. Maybe I’m just drawn more into the withdrawn, mysterious guys?? I do like the concept of twin brothers though. I have a bit of a dirty mind so when the twins said they shared everything, even their gf, I was like ohohoho, 3p? 

I absolutely enjoyed the twins together though. I love seeing them pretend to be the other. I wish they had more of an appearance lol. I could even say that Sosei and Koyo are a scale higher than Tsumugu for me. I wish the twins were the main protagonists ahahah. No offense Tsumugu. 

I’ll just summarize my first impressions for others real quick: 

3. Kotoko - I thought she was cute, but I never really liked her and couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly why. This feeling will come into play later on. So at first, I was like meh, she’s okay, I guess. But, as I learned more about her, I really didn’t like her character that much. I mean, I wouldn’t say I hated her but I didn’t find her as a good fit for Tsumugu. 

- When she told Tsumugu to be a salesman or whatever. I was like, do you even know Tsumugu? Lmao. I didn’t know if it was just me empathizing with Tsumugu cuz I’ve often been told of what I should be, but no one asks what I want to be. 

- When she didn’t want to help Mirei, I thought how odd, for someone who tries to befriend everyone, she’s not doing so well as a heroine. I mean, it was realistic, at least. But, I think the chapter where she admits that she tries really hard to fit in so others will like her was starting to draw some red flags for me. It made me wonder how much of her was ‘real’. Idk if I’m making any sense though.

- When she swung the knife at Tsumugu, I didn’t hate her as much as I did when she swung the knife at Sosei (who protected Tsumugu) and killed him. I was furious then. 

4. Sally - I admit I was really turned off by the girly lolita style. Mainly because I’m more tomboyish irl. But, she had a good sense of justice so I actually liked her. It did come as a shock to me though that she was the “gorilla” girl that was forced to kiss Nozaki. Tbh, I was kinda sad she died at the end. Like, I know she killed Hikone, but I could understand her motive better than I could understand Kotoko’s motive. Maybe cuz I have an older brother and can’t see myself being a brocon? ahahah. 

5. Toma - In terms of hotness, he comes 2nd right after Sosei. He’s a really good friend. And I absolutely adore how he scares ppl with his glare lol. i love yankees ahaha. He’s not afraid to speak his mind. He’s a very solid character.

6. Daimon - My girl crush. High key curious who she’s arranged to marry because her fiance seems boring. Who takes an hour to choose a handkerchief? Anyways, Im sad that Daimon and Sosei never got to meet because I’m low key shipping them. Idk if they’d click well romantically because they’re so similar, but I would’ve loved for some sort of interaction. They’d make for an epic couple, solving mysteries. I really wanna write a fic for them. 

7. Tsukasa Tsukasa - I didn’t like him because of the cheating and blaming on my poor Toma, but after that, he was okay. Plus, he helped write the Tsumugu’s love letter to Kotoko. Which I find is funny, because Kotoko copied Tsukasa’s writing, thinking it was Tsumugu’s. Ahahah. The lesson here, folks, is that don’t use your own handwriting in love letters, you never know if you’re crush will copy said handwriting into your own suicide letter. 

8. Mirei - that girl can sing. I kinda cried after hearing it cuz I was going through something at the time and it really encouraged me. 

9. Landlady & Hikkimori - Both names that I can’t remember off the top of my head. I think both people are fun. The landlady is super supportive. And the hikkimori refusing to talk with Sosei made for a fun dynamic. I genuinely enjoyed seeing Sosei offended. Nice way to see emotions on my fave character. 

10. Other characters (Rindo, Happy, Travel Club Members) - I genuinely did not care enough about ahahah. I think I even enjoyed seeing some of them murdered, tbh. They were really horrible people in different ways. 

The Black club members headed under Fumi. Like what? How do you control victims to be assailants and live with yourself to be a future kindergarten teacher? Like what? I couldn’t live with myself if I was her. Plus, her disproportionately large boobs were really weirding me out. I can’t believe Yu died all because Fumi wanted to f*ck him. It’s like one day you’re living your best life and someone thinks, ah, I wanna ruin this person. 

Don’t even get me started with Nozaki. That dude is a piece of trash. Human garbage. He knows how it feels to be a victim and yet thinks it’s his right to assault women. I wanted to slap that guy so hard. So many times. He was like the boy who cried wolf. He kept pretending to be dead and eventually died in the hands of Kotoko. XD I wonder what his last thoughts were. To have died in the hands of someone he trusted. 

Hikone was another nutcase. From what I understood, he just saw everyone else as characters in his book. Sure, he didn’t physically harm anyone, but doing nothing and observing is just as much of a crime as committing it. 

Shun. I never really like cutesy guys. But when he turned out to be an ex-pimp plus lover of Fumi, he fell off the likeable scale. 

Yoshimoto being an uncontrollable drunk murderer was the only thing needed to complete the psycho Travel Club members. Tbh, I thought he was the one behind the killings at first ahaha. 

Suguha. I thought she was a tough chick. It was cool to know that she had another motive to get closer to Fumi. Because I thought it was weird how she took her cellphone at the BBQ restaurant. It’s nice to know that SEEC still foreshadows like that. 

[aching-tummies]

Bloated Boba

I went out to meet up with a friend to hand-off/return books we pass back and forth. We live on opposite sides of the city and we don't drive, so we usually find time to meet up in the middle, somewhere in the city, to make the trade. They didn't have time to stick around and hang after the trade, so I was alone. I decided to make a day of it, seeing as I rode public transit to get there and it'd be a waste not to walk around town and see what there was to see. I tried out a restaurant I've always wanted to try. The meal came with a cup of cola, so I drank that. After that I walked around a bit more and I treated myself to some Milk Tea Boba. First time for me, as I usually get Fresh-Fruit mango with pearls. Mango isn't in-season and these things are really expensive, so I decided to go for something that wouldn't be affected by fruit. I got Red Bean Milk Tea with Pearls 'cuz I love cold milk tea and I love red-bean paste. It was delicious.

Maybe it was the combination of cola and dairy or dairy and boba or whatever. After the first 1/4 of the boba, I decided it was time to head home. I went to the washroom before I left and I noticed that my tummy was starting to feel bloated. Realizing that it was probably the dairy, I loosened my belt by two holes after doing my business, realizing it was the kind of bloated that would ramp up and probably cause my belly to physically inflate. Hoping that the cramps and noxious aftermath of having dairy would wait until I got home to hit me, I made my way to the nearest transit stop to head home. I'm not usually lactose intolerant. Dairy does things to my tummy in large quantities, but usually having a bit with my food or in milk-tea is fine for me. It usually passes through my system with minimal cramping and I'm fine within 2 hours. Partway through the transit-ride, I knew that something was 'off' this time. I'd only gotten through 1/2 of the boba at that point and my tummy was rock-solid under my clothes and pressing painfully into my jeans.

It felt like a constant, solid cramp or ache and I could feel something pushing against the top of my stomach, where the esophagus is. My tummy was bloated with something. Lunch was still in there, and I guess some combination made it so that my tummy couldn't handle everything in it and something had started to mix and ferment or whatnot, building up a bit of gas and inflating my tummy. Lunch wasn't even that big. As my previous posts record, I've got a pretty small capacity. It doesn't take much to fill me up and yet I was still hungry after lunch.  I was still hungry after eating lunch at the restaurant I went to try and was planning on snacking when I got home. Not anymore. The insistent pressure at the base of my esophagus was my tummy telling me "No more." The thought of putting anything else in my stomach or even finishing the boba made me nauseous.

Despite the gases in my tummy, I'm not the type of person that belches easily. I can usually get a few ones small ones out after rubbing and pressing my tummy for a while, but nothing that brings much relief. I don't think I've ever managed to burp out all of the stuff inside my guts, just enough where I don't feel like my tummy's on the verge of rupturing. Maybe it'd be different if I had a partner to work on my tummy.

The ride home was over an hour long and I could feel my tummy inflating from within. Sitting down was painful. I put my messenger bag on my lap so that I could hide the fact that I was arching my spine backwards, trying to relieve some of the pressure on my inflated tummy. I didn't feel up to standing on transit with my guts the way they were. I was carrying a lot of books home with me and they were quite heavy. I didn't want to have to deal with a sore sholder from the bags on top of a sore tummy.

By the time I got home, I was 3/4 of the way done the boba. Sure, drinking more definitely upset my tummy, but I paid a lot of money for it! There were still some pearls left at the bottom of the cup when the milk tea was gone. At this point I couldn't even talk. The pressure at the based of my esophagus was constant and urgent. It felt like if I spoke or tried to belch I would throw up.

In for a penny, in for a pound. I decided to indulge myself more, seeing as I had nothing else planned for the day. I had some home-made cold coffee in the fridge so I poured that into the boba cup (to collect the pearls and other stuff at the bottom). I added some milk and sugar to the mix to make it easier to drink, took it upstairs, and at first thought I'd just nurse the stuff and throw most of it out. I set the drink aside and rubbed my bloated tummy for a few minutes. There was a lot of pressure at the top, just under my ribs. It felt like I'd swallowed a large rock and my tummy was taut under my hands. Pushing into it hurt a lot and I felt like I'd throw up if I pushed any more. Eventually, I got a couple of really small burps out. It didn't bring any relief to my stretched tummy, but it caused a shift and my tummy started to rumble and squelch as I kept massaging it. It felt like my guts had ground to a halt and everything was just sitting in my tummy, refusing to enter the intestines to be digested. All of the grumbles and squeals I heard came from my tummy and maybe from the duodenum as I manually massaged and squeezed my tummy, trying to push things through since my tummy clearly wasn't doing it. Encouraged by the noises, I decided not to waste the remaining boba/coffee mix I had and I chugged it, being sure to swallow the boba whole rather than chew them up. The stuff cost money, I was free for the rest of the day, and I don't make it a habit to intentionally indulge in my achy-tummy kink.

It's been over 24 hours since I left downtown. It still feels like I swallowed a rock, but it's moved down through my intestines now and everything is sore, like I actually am passing a fist-sized rock or something. The "rock" is down around my navel now and my tummy is no longer as inflated as it was. My guts are still sore and achy. I wonder if things would have been different if I had a partner to rub my tummy. Would all of this be over with by now if I had a partner rubbing my tummy? I could only rub it for a few minutes before I succumbed to sleep or my arms got tired. I haven't had my tummy so visibly distended in a very long time. I don't make it a habit to over-indulge.

As always, feel free to send anons. What would you have done if you had my bloated, aching tummy at your fingertips? Would you have pushed into it and made me throw up once I got home? Would you have made me consume more things?

[shikanaradai]

ShikaTema Week 2019 – Day 2: Midnight picnic

A/N: Due to being forced to pressured and from popular demands... I’ve decided to post this sad excuse of a fic... Be warned it’s not very “Midnight-picnic”-y cuz... I suck at fluff and writing... I didn’t proofread this because I’ll go “ctrl+a” and “delete” without a heartbeat... Enjoy my comeback fic ig...

---------- 

It’s safe to say Shikamaru and Temari don’t like going out on a public date, just snuggling up together in the comfort of their house is good enough for the two. They prefer displaying their affections away from the prying eyes to avoid the teasing, especially from a few blonde and maybe a certain pink haired. When they had their son, Shikadai, seeing the two going out was almost non-existent; despite inheriting the distinct Nara gene, extreme laziness, he was just as stubborn as his mother, and may Shikamaru add, a big mama’s boy – to which Shikadai will refuse profusely as he got older.

 The door to the master bedroom slid opened abruptly, surprising the man inside as he turned to the door and watched his wife dragged her feet to the futon next to him. She quickly crawled inside, not giving a care that the door to their room is wide open and that she hasn’t free her hair from their ties. He watched in amusement before standing up and closed the door in her stead and walked back, staring at the big bulge on her futon.

“I heard quite some fuss, what did he do tonight?” He raised his eyes, remembering the screaming just half an hour ago

“Wow, you heard him screaming and didn’t bother to come and help me?” She snarled and he can feel her death glares staring right through his body despite having a huge blanket over her “That son of yours won’t go to sleep… He’s not tired he said…” She grumbled and sat up, the blanket falling down “I thought he inherited that lazy Nara gene of yours, putting him to sleep has been nothing but troublesome lately” She complaint while her husband watched, trying to think up of a reply

“Don’t forget he is also your son… Guess your stubborn-“ He quickly stopped himself before getting himself killed “I mean…”

His wife watched and sighed, pulling off her ties and collapsed back to the pillow “I’m too tired to even fight back… My stubbornness is to blame I assume” She finished his sentence and Shikamaru turned to her

“I was going to say strong determination but I guess that could work” He grinned and quickly dodged a flying pillow to his face “Tem…”

“Shut it… I’m sleepy, talk to me tomorrow” Temari ignored him and quickly turned her back to him and Shikamaru let out a soft chuckle

“What? I find it unfair that you give your attention to your son way more than to your husband” He pretended to sound hurt but he obviously failed when he heard a scoff as a reply

“Puh-lease. You got all my attention when we were dating and even when we just got married”

“Tem… That was 3 years ago” Shikamaru crawled over and sat right behind her, staring at her back “Ever since Dai was born, we haven’t had a date yet”

“Now you’re being a romantic?” She turned to him, raising her eyes “You do know the main reason you’re even barely home is because of your mission, right? Then you got your job with the Hokage, you’re blaming Dai?”

“Don’t be so troublesome…” Shikamaru scratched his head “Look… I was thinking of spending some time alone… Just you and me” He looked at her, her teal eyes shone brightly under the moonlight

“What about Dai?”

“Kaa-chan is willing to look after him. She called me saying how much she missed him” Shikamaru quickly explained “And of course, she’s quite willing to take him on Tuesday…”

“Why Tuesday of all days?”

“And here I always got sent to Suna for forgetting our anniversary…” Shikamaru chuckled softly and leaned in towards her, his head inches away from hers and she can feel her cheeks heat up; it has been ages since his face was this close to her “Oi, I can see you turning into a tomato despite being in such a dark room” He teased and quickly grabbed onto her wrist, stopping them before she punched him away “I didn’t say it was a bad thing, did I?”

“You’re being too sappy all of the sudden… I must be very tired” She grumbled, trying to hide her blush and Shikamaru chuckled

“Tem… Just let me finish my request, please” Shikamaru reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers together and Temari quickly flinched at the gesture

“O-Oi…”

“When Dai is with his grandmother, how about we grab a bite to eat?” He looked straight onto her eyes and Temari blinked. Shikamaru looked at her nervously but then saw her lips turning into a grin

“Might as well” She flashed him her distinct smile, the smile that let him see the light when he was in the dark, the smile that is reserved just for him and his son, the smile that had stolen his heart all those years ago.

  “Mama!” The cry of their toddler son echoed the house while his grandmother struggled to hold him back, his parents watched in pain, heartbroken to see their son so upset.

“Shikadai, your parents will only be away for a bit, they’ll return soon” Yoshino tried to calm her grandson down but it’s very obvious that she’s failing miserably, seeing how Shikadai’s still screaming in tears while his hands frantically reached for his mother.

“No! Dai wants mama!” He screamed louder and Shikamaru shook his head from behind

Definitely Temari’s son… He sighed and quickly got elbowed on his hip, teal eyes glaring from his wife

“Dai… Listen to me carefully, hm?” Temari kneeled down as Shikadai clutched onto her kimono tightly, burying his face on her shoulder “Be a good boy and listen to your grandmother, ok? I’ll be back real soon!” She cooed him, her voice soft and gentle, the side that appeared after his, no, their son was born; the side of Temari that Shikamaru grew to love, adding onto the list of other endless things of why he loves Temari with all his being.

“W-Where mama and papa go?” Shikadai sniffled and leaned back, his small baby teal eyes stared straight at his mother’s

“Just nearby, we’ll be quick” Shikamaru kneeled down beside his wife and wiped the tears lingering on Shikadai’s cheeks with his thumb “Be a good boy alright, little fawn? You can do that right?” He grinned and Shikadai nodded reluctantly

“Okaa-san, I really thank you for this” Temari bowed to her mother-in-law, earning a chuckled and a pat from her

“Oh, I want to spend some time with Shikadai anyway” She waved her hand in front of her, motioning that Temari doesn’t need to worry much “You two enjoy your date, take as long as you want” She grinned and Shikamaru rolled his eyes

“We’ll get going then…” Shikamaru mumbled and Temari nodded, they bid farewell to Yoshino and Shikadai before heading off, a picnic basket in Shikamaru’s hand.

“Ah… To be young and in love… Let’s hope for a younger sibling soon hm, Shikadai?” She laughed while closing the door and Shikadai walked inside, still taking glances at his parents’ backs disappearing into the horizon.

  The young couple enjoyed a silent walk, just like they used to have when she was working as the Konoha-Suna ambassador with him being her guide. Nearly a decade had passed and nothing changed much since then when they walked down the street, enjoying each other’s company and the silence, well, aside from the fact that they’re now husband and wife instead of mere colleagues. Truth to be told, Temari was kind of expecting a fancy dinner in some weird fancy restaurant and maybe have them holding hand in hand down the street, but seeing Shikamaru’s nervous face with a picnic basket in hand confused her. He wanted a date with her, he yearned for her attention and affections, so why did he tell her not to dress fancy and locked her out of the kitchen for the whole day?

“Close your eyes” Shikamaru brought her back to reality and she wasn’t even listening. She blinked a few times and turned to him, trying to recollect what he just said “Don’t tell me you’re deaf?” He raised his eyes, silently, and trying to be subtle, on judging her expressions. He shook his head in disbelief at his wife’s cluelessness, heck, he kind of finds it cute when she’s just spacing out like that. “Close your eyes” He repeated and quickly grabbed an eye mask, putting it on her

“O-Oi! What are you trying to do?” She asked, taken by surprise how he just blocked her ability to see just like that “Oi Shikamaru!” She called out for him, her arms swinging around on trying to find her husband. He got to admit; she doesn’t seem so intimidating looking like this. It’s not every day you see Sabaku no Temari, pretty much the princess of Suna acting like a lost child. “I swear to god Shikamaru, if you don’t-“ She began to complain but quickly stopped when her legs were lifted up and she could feel two pair of strong arms carrying her, the action earned a small yelp from the kunoichi

“It’s a surprise” She could hear the cheekiness in his tone as she let Shikamaru carry her to god knows where. She lost sense of direction, lost her sense of sight but she can tell from the sound of his feet landing on tiles, that Shikamaru is running on top of roofs. After what felt like hours, which was merely 5 minutes, Shikamaru set her down and took off her blindfold, surprising her with Konoha’s night view from on top of a hill. She stared at the scenery in awe, taking in the beauty of the night sky and the lights down in the village now she calls home, heck, why the hell have she never been here before?

“You like it?” Shikamaru grinned, feeling proud judging on her reaction “I’ve been meaning to show you this place but with Shikadai being all over you, it was quite impossible” He chuckled, walking up to her “It’s bea-“

“Why the hell didn’t you show me this place sooner, Nara?” Temari growled, slapping onto his arm “I’ve been living here for 4 years already and never knew of this place until now?”

“Oi, is this how you’re going to repay for all the troubles I had to go through?” Shikamaru groaned, rubbing his arm and Temari turned around, noticing a picnic set up behind her, bottle of wine, two wine glasses and some food lying on the mat, waiting for her

“So… A picnic in the middle of the night?” She raised her eyes, looking at Shikamaru “You really went through all this trouble just for this?”

“Wow, you’re very much welcome” Shikamaru replied in a mocking tone “I totally didn’t cut my hand a few times making these stuff”

“You what?” She darted to his hand, quickly reaching for it and Shikamaru pulled back

“Oi, I was joking. You really think I’m that bad at cooking?”

“I wouldn’t say bad… but I guess?” She gave him a small shrug and Shikamaru rolled his eyes before grabbing onto her hand, caressing them carefully

“Nara Temari…” He began, making her heart jumped at the sudden mention, the name she can still not get used to “I have to thank you for being able to keep up with my troublesome self while still being able to take care of our son” He continued, his eyes staring straight at hers, his emotions reaching to the very core of her body “And I can’t thank you enough for marrying me…”

“Someone’s being awfully romantic” Temari mumbled but quickly smiled “Not that I don’t mind…” She chuckled, moving closer to him “Only I can take care of your lazy bum now, can I?” She grinned “And your troublesome son”

“Our son” He corrected her and pulled her into a hug “Thank you, Tem…” He mumbled quietly but still loud enough for her to hear.

  It’s already well past midnight and the sight of the two heads of the Nara clan is nowhere to be seen. They said they were going for a walk inside the Nara clan forest but that was 3 hours ago and now, the newly made genin is walking down the forest, in search for the two leaders. Saying they’re only going for a walk but with a huge picnic basket in hand, yeah sure, a walk. Going down on a familiar path, he entered a clearing where you can see the starry sky with nothing blocking your views, no trees, no hills, no houses. Scanning the area quickly led him to land his eyes on two shadows, casually laying down on top of the mat, very much relaxed

“Asleep…” He quickly concluded judging by the closeness of the two and seeing how the basket is empty with no food left, the bottle of wine very much empty. He walked over to his target, staring at his parents very much asleep under the night sky, too close for his liking but he can’t complain “What a drag… If you two are going on a date, you should at least said so” He shook his head and pulled out a blanket, putting over them “I know you two hate showing affections in front of me but I’d rather gag from disgust than being worried for you two” He continued to voice his complaint to his unconscious parents. “That blanket won’t let you survive the night so you two better stay warm…” He picked up the empty picnic basket and set the trash inside it. He stood up straight and took a last glance at his parents, a small smile forming on his face and he chuckled, shaking his head “Happy anniversary oyaji, kaa-chan…” He smiled, walking away, letting his parents enjoy some rare moment together, under Konoha’s beautiful starry night. 

[kawaiipickle]

So here’s my story about my trainwreck business trip with my boss to Paris...

it’s kinda long but i would appreciate some opinions on what happened

Let me start from saying, that I didn’t want to go from the very beginning. No one even asked me if I’m interested in going, I found out basically by accident and I was always the last to know about everything regarding this trip. We were going for a trade show with our brand. The show was starting on Saturday, we were flying on Friday. I got my tickets and accommodation infos basically on Thursday night - very comfortable thing when u have anxiety, right? 

So I was supposed to meet my boss lady in Warsaw and go with her to the airport. That part went well. We got to the airport, we went through security check point, found our gate and had some time till boarding. About 10mins before our boarding should start I’ve realised that Paris was changed into berlin on the gate info panel. When I asked what happened, they casually told me that the flight got cancelled and we need to go to rebook it. Not a single info about the cancelation whatsoever!Turned out about 7 different flights were canceled and a few more delayed. SO the queue to the airline customer service desk was 274759275 miles long.

 We’ve waited more than 2h until we got to the contour. And the 1st sec my boss was about to get to it - they’ve closed the window for a break.Yes, exactly. Even ppl around us were laughing at this point that it’s prolly a sign that we should not go at all.But my boss was on the hotline with the other boss, looking for other transportation options and in the end she rescheduled our flight to Brussels and decided that we will borrow a car there and go to Paris by car. In the middle of the night. 

SO - we got to Brussels around midnight. We rented a car. A car my boss didn’t rly know how to drive so it was fun... But we were on our way. And all the way to Paris, 3h long, my boss was telling me literally everything about her current divorce and affair with her new guy. Things i rly should not know about, things I do NOT care about, things she can’t stop talking about to me for some damn mysterious reason. 

 Anyway, we got to Paris around 4am. We had booked hotel room in some weird no-service hotel, where you get in on code, there are no people on reception, only computer and so. We found it after some searching, fought a little with putting our car into the garage and finally got into the lobby to get our key. VERY ewwww lobby let me say.  

And then the computer said we have a reservation, but only for 1 night. Another surprise, cool! But we took the key anyway, decided to resolve it later. At this point we were absolutely exhausted and only dreamed about some bathroom and bed. First we tried using a lift, but some buttons were ripped off. So we used the stairs. Found our room. Got inside. And then a man who was sleeping on the bed looked at us and asked “qu'est ce que??” And said that he is renting this room for a week and will stay more. So we left, absolutely stunned and mortified cuz if he was living there how tf we were able to get the keycard????

At this point I was almost sure I will try to get 1st ticket back to Poland and call it a day.So my boss called the hotel hotline, they ofc said they have no booking for us and bullshit like that, booking com promised to find something else for us, etc etc. 

But i personally had other urgent issue. And it’s embarrassing, but I will say it all anyway. I rly needed to use the bathroom to go make number 2. Badly. On our way to Paris esp by the end of it, there were almost no open gas stations or stuff like that so I’ve decided to wait till the hotel. Even my boss was desperate and basically stopped by the road and took a piss behind the car. And now we were sitting in the lobby, roomless, and there was no bathroom for guests in the whole hotel. So I’ve decided, in sheer desperation, to go outside and maybe find some bushes. So fucking humiliating!

 But it wasn’t all. I walk around one block and at first it was empty. But then suddenly the street was filled with cars and people, obv drunk, screaming and throwing bottles, and i swear to god! i've even heard something like gunshots. I. WAS. TERRIFIED. There was some weird sht going on on one parking i was passing by and I was seriously so scared for my life. I’ve sneaked back through some bushes that i also used finally as a bathroom and headed back to the hotel. Some men were shouting at me from their car but I managed to get back inside.

My boss said that they are still working on finding us new accomodation and as soon as we’ll get it, we will just take a shower, change our clothes and go straight on the show. With no rest. I said I’m booking a flight back to PL right this instant if she won’t let me rest after all this bullshit.

 We left the creepy hotel and for another 2h were driving around Paris, trying to find ANYTHING open where we could get a coffee or just sit down and get our sht together. But absolutely everything was still closed. Meanwhile booking com offered us a room in a hotel from the same company, just in different place. SURE! We were absolutely exhausted, I almost felt like i was drunk, my head was spinning like that and I couldn’t keep my eyes opened. In the last act of desperation we went to the hotel we were staying in during our previous business trip. And they saved us, literally, cuz they had some extra “secret” room for emergency situations and they offered us one.

So i finally could take a shower and got 1h of sleep. And booked my flight back home. I told my boss that I’m fine with staying but I refuse to work without getting some rest. She said that in this case I can go home as I’m “useless and I do nothing else than tell her about my troubles she doesn’t want to hear about”. When I told her literally just two things this whole trip - one when we met that I’m having severe migraines now because of the heat and back problems [something i told both bosses before as something im concerned about regarding this trip] and that I’m too exhausted to work when she refused my rest time request. But I need to sit for couple hours to listen about all her love drama...OK.

Needless to say, my way back home was smooth and easy, everything went as planned in amazing contrast to what happened before.  I’m home and i’m exhausted and still just in disbelief how it all went down. I know I will never ever ignore my intuition like that, if I feel like I should not be doing something the way I did here, I won’t do it. Period. Idk if I will have any troubles at work because I came back like this, but I don’t really care. I’m looking for a new place anyway. That was just so insane…

Do you think I overreacted with going back? Do you think I should have stayed? I’m really curious. I feel that I did the right thing but I still have these doubting thoughts

[anastasiaskarsgard]

So here’s AU single dad Mark, you can see the vibe his picture inspired here (who is inspired by a real person loosely)

Warning: cursing, mention of drugs and sex. Mention of violence.

“Doctor, you have one last appointment and then you’re free! New puppy needs vaccines and looks very healthy. The guy is seriously dreamy so just mentally prepare yourself for that.” My receptionist Ashley said as she handed me the file. “They’re in number 2.”

I glanced over the file and audibly groaned, drawing both receptionists attention. “I know Mark! Shit! I hope he didn’t recognize my name and come here on purpose. To be quite honest though, I don’t think he’ll even remember me.”

Ashley leaped from her chair to get close enough to whisper, “I need the deets Doc! Did you have a one night stand with him? Or lose your v card to him at prom? Or oh my gosh! did you choose your career over him and left him behind for vet school?”

“Stop reading smut on the internet, and come back to reality. He was 2 years older than me and talked to me one time at a party, informing me that I had potential if I would dress more like a girl, and less like a veterinarian. I doubt he’ll remember it tho.” I chuckled, shaking my head, “Get back to work.” I said as I walked over to room 2, taking a deep breath before opening the door, coming face to face with Mark. He was still drop dead gorgeous.

“My bad, I thought you’d come thru the other door. Dakota, Danielle. Please sit down nice for the Doctor, so your puppy doesn’t get nervous.”

Mark tried to wrangle his two small children to sit down, but at around 2-4 years old, that wasn’t gonna happen. I wondered what girl had snatched up Mark as I checked the puppy out.

“Oh my — kids earmuffs— “ Mark verified both children were in fact covering their ears before turning back to me with a big cheesy smile on his face. “No fucking way! You seriously became a veterinarian!” He exclaimed chuckling.

“Well you gave me the idea, so I just ran with it, “ I said with a smirk.

“Oh my God. You remember I said that? I was a punk, I’m sorry. I just had a thing for you and you’d always ignore me or blow me off, every time I tried to get your attention.”

“I don’t recall you ever trying to get my attention. I do recall you ignoring me.”

“No. I didn’t even have any classes in the portables and I’d go hang out over there and always say what’s up as you’d walk by. I went to all your basketball games and you never once acknowledged my existence and I tried to talk to you in the library a couple times and you would always shoosh me.”

“ well that’s what you’re supposed to do in a library. Also, going into the general vicinity of someone, and expecting them to know somehow that you’re there for them, isn’t very obvious, especially considering the one time you speak to them you tell her that she has potential but dresses like a veterinarian, which is pretty cool if you ask me.” I giggled. Oh sweet mother of God, I giggled. He was so hot, my brain was malfunctioning. Eventhough he was most likely full of shit and trying to get a discount or something, it was wild to think, I was so intimidated by him, I refused to entertain the idea that he might actually like me. It was pretty hilarious. “Looks like you found your happily ever after anyways. Who’s the lucky lady? Anyone I know?”

“Huh?” He looked confused for a few couple beats and then it dawned on him. “Oh yeah I got two awesome mini mes.”

“We’re the 3 musketeers!” A little voice squeaked out.

“Oh sorry. I just figured 2 kids that use ear muffs and the designer dog, someone had domesticated you.” I said looking up to see Mark blush.

“Remember Anna Winters? That’s his mommy and—“

“I don’t mean to interrupt Mark, but could I borrow your little musketeers to feed some newborn puppies that were dumped here? Then we can have a few minutes to catch up. I think you’re my last appointment. Do you mind? The girls and I do it, but they look like they’re good little helpers.”

Both children leaped out of their seats and started jumping up and down pleading to let them help so Mark agreed. I called Ashley in and she was super enthusiastic about having helpers, till she realized Mark wasn’t coming too. As soon as they closed the door, I turned to Mark.

“Thought it would be best if they didn’t hear adult conversations, especially involving their mother.”

“Mothers.”

“I kinda figured since your little girl looks possibly Latina?”

Mark nodded his head. “Yeah So Anna is a full fledged crackhead out in LA or something last I heard. Who knows? She might even be dead. She left him with me when he was a week old and never came back.”

“Wow! What a deplorable human being! But then you had naked time with a lady again, and she got pregnant too huh?” I teased. “Maybe no one told you how this works...”

“No I get it. Danielle’s mom was Dakota’s babysitter, and she just never really went away and it was convenient, and she cleaned and took care of Dakota. But she stopped taking birth control unbeknownst to me, and she winds up pregnant, wanting to get married.”

“So Wait! I know this part! You being the most romantic motherfucker on the planet, was like let’s go to Disneyland and get married in the castle right before the fireworks go off!” I had to give him some shit. He was such a cliche.

Mark laughed his same dorky weird laugh, and I couldn’t help but to laugh too. “No I told her I’m not marrying you. I don’t love you, and she’s like well then as soon as I have this kid, it’s all yours. If you don’t want me, I don’t want your ugly baby.”

“I’d be like ‘it got it from its mama’. She’s adorable though, so you really came out ahead there. What are the odds you’d get two deadbeat moms in a row?”

“Don’t remind me. What’s your story? You married? Kids?”

“Well I went to school and graduated top of my class, so i got into vet school, which is way harder than regular old medical school since there aren’t as many options. Plus it’s pretty challenging. With people you just got to figure out people. I have to know the dogs, cats, horses, goats, birds, lizards pretty much anything that’s alive and not from the primate family, i gotta figure it out. Last week somebody brought in a damn baby kangaroo, trying to tell me it’s a wallaby, and I was like where did you get a Kangaroo in Salt Lake City? Sorry, to answer your actual questions, No baby daddy’s cuz I’ve never met anyone that’s as awesome as I am, so until then I’m just saving the world, one litter at a time. Let’s go peek at them, come on.” I tiptoed out the door, over to the batch of kennels I had them living in, and we peeked around the wall, to see both kids feeding two puppies each, smiling from ear to ear.

“What kind of puppies are they?” Mark whispered.

“Go back in the room and I’ll tell you the story.”

He looked so adorable tiptoeing along, trying to be sneaky. He was like that one part of Fantasia where everybody knows but him that he’s too big to be sneaky.

We get back in the room and he sits on the little bench, patting the seat next to him, looking up at me all sexy like. He knows what he’s doing. “Come sit. I won’t bite.” He said with a lustful tone. Or maybe I just wanted to jump on him and any tone would be lustful......

“You keep looking at me like that, I’m gonna squirt you with the spray bottle,” I couldn’t help but laugh at my own joke. He found it less funny. “They’re all Blood Hounds. The mother got shot by the owners worthless boyfriend, claiming she attacked him, when I have a strong suspicion she was defending the woman from him. The mama dog did get ahold of the guy and shredded his arm up bad enough, it’ll never work again. The woman dropped the puppies off saying he’d kill them when he got home, so that’s how I got nine Bloodhound puppies that have to be fed every few hours. I didn’t have the heart to put them down, and the shelter would of killed them.”

“Aren’t Bloodhounds expensive?”

“Well yes. And they’re actually AKC, but I’m going to fix them all before I adopt them out. I rescue, I don’t profit off animal sales. Just maintenance. I actually offered them to the police since they’ve got the best noses in the business. They’re trying to get the money together to train them. Las Vegas wants two of them, but they got that casino money.”

“How much does it cost to train a dog?”

“Like $22k I think it is. Takes a few years depending if they’re looking for people, drugs, bombs... ”

“Wow. How are you not taken?” He blurted out.

“My bullshit tolerancy is almost non-existent, I work a lot, I’m the only one that thinks I’m funny, i dress like a veterinarian and I’m shallow. How are you single? All that man pretty and diaper changing skills.”

Mark looked down and blushed again. “Ok I’m just gonna go for it. Would you like to go to dinner sometime?” I swear he is holding his breath. Dammit. So cute.

“How about now? When they’re done feeding the puppies, you wanna go feed your rugrats?” I inquired.

“I meant like on a date, just you and me.”

He was so pretty, I wanted to sit on his face, “Oh ho! I cant be alone with you, I’ll get pregnant. Even now, I’m at risk. I need tiny chaperones.”

“Is that so?” He said rising to his feet with a mischevious look on his face, glancing between my eyes and lips. I took a step back and the wall was there. I was trapped. I tried to look oblivious but when he leaned against the wall behind me, with an arm on each side of my head, leaning in so his lips lightly brush my ear, he whispers; “where’s your spray bottle now?”

Oh fuck it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. His lips were so soft and he was surprisingly gentle and not trying to be handsy. What the fuck was I doing!? I pulled away scanning his face for I don’t know what.

“What?” He asked all breathy and desperate, rubbing his perfect little nose on my cheek, getting almost close enough to kiss me, wanting me to close the gap.

“I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I’ll know when I see it.”

“Shut up and kiss me....please?”

Fuck. Anyone else I would have sent packing, but Mark was so tall, and beautiful, and confident, and took care of his kids, and God he smelled good, and if he fucked as well as he kissed, then I might just keep him. I pushed my lips into his and he kissed me a bit more aggressive biting my lower lip.

This was either a really great idea, or the worst idea I’ve ever had, but either way, I was gonna see how it played out.

[bards-witcher]

Okay so are you okay with writing the boys as female? Cuz a female Ohm is... Extremely hot 😉 If that's not your thing, that's fine! If it isn't, then maybe some bunny hybrid Ohm? And whatever ship you want?? Maybe some hybrid adoption center thing??(as fucked up as that is-(boy if you aren't accepting requests Imma feel REAL dumb.))

So I kinda mixed the 2 ideas together, not gonna lie I’m kinda iffy about it but I hope you enjoy it anyway. I’d be happy to do more fem!Ohm in the future because I’m currently living for @jhanyaiartist  flip au and @jessantom663 drawings.

Plus I’m like always taking requests so just shoot me an ask any time :D

Also, I made it Ohmtoonz because I’m a basic bitch, hope you don’t mind :) but I’m happy to do other pairings as well :D

[Ohm POV]

It had been almost two years since she’d first joined a hybrid adoption agency and ten months since she’d last been taken home by someone. When she’d first joined she’d had hope that she may finally find a home and someone who cared for her, but that was far from the case.

The first person who had adopted her was kind at first, it didn’t take long for her to warm up to him and he seemed almost smitten with her, eager to take her out and show her off to his friends and surprising her with gifts when he returned from work. It wasn’t long, however, before he turned sour, although hybrids weren’t common they could live life like any other person, and when she’d asked to find a job he’d quickly shut her down.

It wasn’t long before he got bored of her, tired of her desire for a normal life when all he wanted was someone who cooked for him and who would look pretty on his arm. He’d claimed that they were going out to the beach that day, that he was going to treat her as it was somewhere that she’d never been before. However, whatever hope she’d had was quashed when instead she was taken back to the adoption agency, the guy claiming she was faulty before leaving without a backward glance.

Despite this she still had hope, hope that there was someone out there for her. For the next few months, the process was much the same as the first. Someone would come and charm her, sweep her off her feet, however, they all had the same ideals, that she was good for little else but cleaning and fucking.

The last person to adopt her had tried to sell her into a hybrid sex ring, she’d kicked and cried and pleaded but it didn’t deter them. Her saving grace had been the cops breaking down the door to the auction room and during the panic, she was able to slip away from her captors and were met with more cops and other hybrids who were to be sold.

From that day on she swore that she could trust no one but herself, that she’d swear off of finding anyone, that she was damaged goods, and would try to convince the agency to help her find a job.

Originally they didn’t take too well to her choice, but after 2 months of completely rejecting the people who wanted to adopt her, they reluctantly helped her to find her first job. It wasn’t much, a part-time barista job just down the street, but it was something, and it’s all she needed.

However, she was quick to realize that the people at her job were little different than those who had tried to adopt her. She’d finish most shifts with a new number from those who were determined enough to try their luck, despite her refusal they’d show up at a couple of her shifts to try and convince her, however, they all gave pretty soon when they finally understood that she wasn’t interested.

It was a Thursday morning and it was her turn to open up the small coffee shop, she didn’t mind the early hours too much, it was easy work and she enjoyed watching the small city come to life. It was with a surprise then that someone entered the shop, he was tall and from the brief glance, she got she could tell he worked out. She put on her best smile as he slowly approached the counter, looking at the large blackboard above them.

“Anything I can help you with sir?”

The man looked stunned for a moment before smiling back at her “um, yeah. How much you charge for a large coffee?” It was easy to pick up the southern twang in his voice which almost sounded like thick molasses, her smile turned more genuine as she answered.

“Black?” The man nodded, allowing her to continue “$2.50, but for you, I’ll make it $2” The taller man smiled down at her, as if studying her for a moment, his appreciative gaze that swept over her body didn’t go unnoticed.

“$2.50’ll be fine, thanks. My old coffee place tryna charge me $4 for a damn coffee, sure as hell wasn’t staying there”

Without another word she got to work, it was an easy enough order and it wasn’t long before she handed him his drink “$2 please” she smiled up at him, noticing him quickly avert his gaze when she’d caught him staring.

“Here, I’ll feel guilty if I don’t pay the full price” With that he handed her over the money at full price, but she was quick to slide the 50-cent coin back to him.

“Call it an incentive for you to come back again” The man took the coin and dropped it into the tip jar before taking a sip of his drink, in the quiet of the shop she could make out the small moan he made.

“Fuck this is a nice ass cup of coffee” She couldn’t help but giggle at the man’s outburst, noticing the small smile he shot her way as if pleased by her response.

“Only the best for our customer’s sir”

“Call me Luke”

“So, can we expect to see you again soon Luke?” She looked up at him through her lashes, she wasn’t above the occasional flirting in order to get tips and to get people to come back.

“You can be damned sure, and not just for the coffee” With that he threw a wink before putting a few more coins into the jar and leaving the shop.

It wasn’t the first time that she’d flirted towards customers, and it wouldn’t be the last, however, something about him stuck with her and in the quiet hours during her shift that day she couldn’t stop her mind wandering to him.

For the next few weeks Luke had been coming into the coffee shop more and more often, he never gave a reason except that the coffee was too damn good, but her co-workers had told her that he’d ask for her whenever he came in.

Most of the time they’d have a short conversation as his drink was made, often just about what they were doing that day and other mundane stuff like the weather. He’d then leave a generous tip in the jar and throw her a wink before leaving.

It was another early morning shift, and she couldn’t hide her excitement at the chance of seeing Luke, her talks with the southerner were often the highlight of her day before she had to return to her room at the agency, not that Luke knew that of course.

However, today he hadn’t shown up, she tried to hide her disappointment as she waited the last ten minutes of her shift, her co-worker tried his best to get a smile out of her, but nothing had worked. 

When her shift was finished she returned her apron to the back room, said her goodbyes and headed out of the shop, only to have a tall figure run straight into her. Before she could tell him to watch it she looked up to see Luke staring down at her, face red and sweat on his brow, taking heaving breaths as he moved back to give her room.

“Good, I still caught you.”

“My shifts over Luke”

“Have a drink with me? Please?” She wanted to say no, to follow the rules she’d set herself all those months ago, but with Luke looking down at her, soft eyes pleading at her she couldn’t refuse, especially when it was evident that he’d run here.

She nodded, Luke, smiling in response before he lay a gentle hand on her waist and led her back into the coffee shop. Before they could even think of ordering coffee her co-worker pushed a tray towards them with two coffees and a slice of cake. They thanked him as Luke grabbed the tray and led them to a table in a corner out of the way of prying eyes.

“Thank you… For having a drink with me” Luke smiled at her and she smiled back at him, both staring at each other as they tried to ignore the underlying feeling of something between them, before both taking a sip of their drinks.

It was then that Luke picked up the fork that was alongside their cake, taking a large chunk of it before shoveling it into his mouth, she had to hide her laugh when his face started to turn even redder when he noticed her disapproving look.

“Don’t go eating all of that I want some too” Luke handed her the fork and she took a bite of the cake, dragging the fork out of her mouth as she looked up at Luke, noticing the way that he was staring at her lips.

They then started talking about their days, how Luke had been delayed at the bank and then the market, how he was going out to a party tonight to celebrate his friends’ new club opening.

“Do you wanna to come with?” She was shocked for a moment, surprised that he’d even offer and as much as she wanted to go the agency’s strict 11pm curfew meant that she couldn’t.

“I have plans tonight, sorry” She offered him a curt smile, feeling instantly guilty when he saw the brief flash of hurt cross Lukes’ face.

“Nah it’s cool, just an idea” She could tell he was upset, so in an attempt cheer him up she started to flick her ears around to a rhythm that didn’t exist, happy when she saw Luke laugh a little at her antics. “One thing I’ve always wanted to know is, do you have a tail?”

She blushed as she looked away from his piercing gaze “I might do”

“Can I see it?” She hesitated at his request, in the past, her owners had tried to cover up her hybrid features as much as possible, her tail she could somewhat get away with, but it was near impossible to try and hide her ears. The fact that Luke wanted to see it made her blush even more.

Without a word she stood from her seat and turned around, lowering her jeans slightly until her white fluffy tail was sticking out. She waited to hear what Luke was going to say, half expecting to hear laughter or taunts, what she didn’t expect was to feel a gentle hand touch the ends of the fur covering it. 

She shook her tail a little, laughing when she felt Lukes’ hand draw away but when he got the courage to touch it again she moved her tail into his hold, letting him have free reign over one of her most sensitive parts. Eventually, she moved away and sat back down, using her ears to cover her face somewhat from Lukes intense stare.

“I have something for you” She watched as Luke reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, laying it down on the table between them for her to open. “I saw it when I was out today and thought of you, so…yeah”

She gingerly leaned forward and opened the box, it was a small silver outline of a rabbit on a simple necklace chain. She took it out of the box to have a closer look, it was beautiful in its simplicity and she had no words to offer Luke but ‘Thank you’.

“I know it’s not much but I –“

“It’s beautiful Luke, I honestly don’t know what to say” She unfastened the clasp and went to try and put it around her neck before Luke interjected.

“Let me” She brought her hands back in front of her, waiting for Luke to move around the table behind her before passing the necklace to him. He gently pushed her hair to one side as he reached around her neck, fingers gently tracing around her neck before clasping the two sides together, causing a shiver to travel up her spine.

She looked down at the small rabbit now around her neck, shivering again when Luke moved her hair back in place before she turned to face him, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, Luke” They smiled at each other, getting lost in each other’s eyes, she was so lost in them that she barely registered him lightly grazing his fingers up and down her arm.

They stayed like that, too distracted in one another that her co-worker coming round the corner caused them to break apart, a smug smile on his face as he took the now empty cups.

“I-I should go. It’s getting late. Thank you again.. for the necklace. It really is beautiful. Have fun tonight” With a final smile and wave she got up and headed for the door, however she was stopped by Luke grabbing her elbow.

“Let me walk you home”

“No, you don’t have to do that” As much as she liked Luke there was no way she was going to let him find out where she lived, how she lived.

“I’d feel a lot better knowing you got home safe and sound”

“No, it’s fine really, besides you need to get ready for tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow yeah?” When Luke nodded she gave one last smile before leaving the coffee shop, quickly walking the short distance back home and making her way straight to her room.

She was quick to strip herself of her clothes, eager to get into the shower to clear her thoughts when a knock was heard on her door.

“Ryan? You in there?” rolling her eyes she put on her dressing gown and opened her door to see the matron of the house looking down at her. “You’re late back from work”

“It got busy” The glance the older women shot at her necklace as well as her pursed lips showed that she knew it was a lie, but as no rules were broken she couldn’t chastise her.

“As per usual, your offers” she rolled her eyes again as she accepted several folders from the women.

“I don’t know why you bother, you know my answer already” she didn’t spare any of them a glance before tossing them into the growing pile in her bin she kept beside her door for this purpose.

“You know you’re going to have to leave eventually. Either pick someone soon, or I will.” She stood there dumbfounded as the matron turned to walk away, there was no way that this should be allowed and the thought of what could happen to hear made a pit settle in her stomach. “By the way we have a viewer coming in tonight and he wants to see everybody. That includes you, so make sure you look nice”

She slammed the door to her room closed, fighting back tears as she entered the shower, letting out gentle sobs as she slowly started to wash herself. It was only when she felt the chain under her fingers that she managed to gain some semblance of control.

Luke. Luke who had come to the coffee shop any and every day to find out her shifts, who was more than happy to keep her company in the early hours, who had run to the shop in the hopes that he’d catch her. The man who despite having only known her a few weeks, was the one person who actually knew her.

Maybe if she told him, let him know where she lived, that he’d take her in, look after her in the way nobody here did. She turned the water off as she weighed the pros and cons in her mind, unconsciously going through the motions of getting ready as her thoughts weighed heavier on her mind. 

Before she knew it there was a knock on her door with the command to get downstairs, with a final look in the mirror, touching the chain that already meant so much to her, she started to make the slow preamble downstairs.

Everybody was already there waiting when she finally got there, the matron tapping her foot impatiently before dragging her to her spot in line. She gave the usual talk, be good, don’t speak until spoken to and all that other bullshit.

She played with her fingernails as the doorbell rang, the matron quickly rushing to the door and offering all the kindness and warmth a mother should show as she guided the viewer in. She didn’t look up as the matron started to introduce him to the first hybrids, only when she heard the older woman start to sputter and shout did she look, only to met with the scene of Luke striding towards her.

She could only stare as Luke stopped in front of her, offering her a small smile as his hands came up to rub at her shoulders before moving up her neck and then finally to cup her face, holding her in his gaze, not that she could look away anyway.

“C’mon, I’m getting you outta here” She raised her left hand to grab his wrist, rubbing her thumb against it and she could feel his pulse racing, or maybe it was hers.

“Luke, are you-“

“Yes. Yes, I’m sure. I want nothin’ more than for you to come home with me” she gave a small nod, trying to blink away the tears in her eyes as Luke smiled back down at her. “C’mon then”

He pulled away from her, grabbing the hand that was holding his wrist as he walked them out, ignoring the calls and threats from the matron and the cheers from the other hybrids.

As soon as she got into the car Luke was quick to get them out of there, loosely holding her hand as he navigated his way through the streets to his house.

It wasn’t long before he parked on the side of the road, with the engine shut off there was nothing but deafening quiet between them.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She could tell Luke was hurt, but despite this, she stood by her choice

“You didn’t need to know”

“Bullshit Ryan, everyone knows that place is a shithole, you could’ve told me, I could’ve-“

“You don’t understand. My kind are… rare, being there, despite everything is better than being stolen and sold to the highest bidder. So yeah it’s a shithole but it’s the best I got”

“I’m sorry, I-“

“Don’t worry about it”

“Why not get adopted then?” She scoffed at Lukes’ words, he’d said it himself, the place was a shithole, it was only fitting that the people who went there were shitholes too.

“My track record of owners isn’t the best to say the least”

“Then why’d you come with me?” 

She turned so that she was facing Luke, seeing nothing but kindness and hope shone back at her “You’re different. You’ve cared more for me than anyone else ever has” She let out a small chuckle, looking down at the space between them “I know it’s cliché bu-“

Before she could finish her sentence Luke grabbed her chin, lifting her face up so that she was facing him again. He paused for a moment, looking down at her lips before slowly moving closer forwards. He gave her ample time to pull away from the kiss he was offering, but instead, she closed the difference between them and connected their lips. It was short and sweet, nothing more than a peck on the lips but nevertheless, they were both breathless when they pulled apart.

“C’mon lets get inside” They were quick to get out of the car, she followed him up the pathway to his house, stepping through the doorway when he held it open for her. She followed him to the kitchen where he pulled out a couple of beers, opening them both before offering one to her.

She took it gratefully, drinking down half the bottle before putting it on the countertop, noticing Luke looking at her with an amused glint in his eye. “I’ve got a spare room made up for you if you want” She could tell that Luke was nervous, if not for the hand he rubbed at the back of his neck it was the way he refused to look at her.

“Oh, I just thought that-“

“Look, whatever we are, I’m happy, but we won’t do anything until we’re both ready” He’d taken both of her hands in his and was rubbing small circles into them with this thumbs as he spoke

She looked up at Luke, using his hands for balance as she stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him again. This one was different than the first, she tried to convey all her appreciation, love and hope she had for the man in front of her when they pulled apart it was only for them to catch another breath before they kissed again. 

Eventually, Lukes’ arms wrapped around her waist and she felt herself get lifted up and onto the counter, his hands wandering up and down her back until one hand settled onto her tail and she had to stifle her moan at his touch.

“Luke” She held herself close to him, unwilling to let go in case it all disappeared in front of him, and by the way, Luke held her he felt the same.

“Shhh, I’ll look after you. I’ll always look after you”

[lovebarnowl]

It’s been a long time, Nestlings.

Life’s been really hard on me. Perhaps that was a given, seeing how many posts leading up to my disappearance revolve around depression and suicide awareness. I wish I could say I always made the right choices, but sometimes all you have is the ability to make a choice and there is no right or wrong to it.

I want to make light of the struggles I’ve been in, but that’s probably due to still being steeped in them. A home falling apart around me, an oppressive darkness everywhere I go within it, and the absence of someone I loved dearly -- it’s a weight that burdens me.

Our home has water damage in multiple rooms causing multiple instances of black mold and mildew. My man and I vacated my bedroom a year ago and have been sleeping on the concrete floor of the living room. We had a terrible bed bug infestation, so we tossed all the furniture. We had a mouse problem, so we moved all of our foods into a giant plastic tub in the center of our kitchen floor. We now have roaches from when our new landlords moved in next door and can’t seem to stem the tide. We are in the process of escape. Put in applications for an apartment nearby and are waiting as patiently as we can in a building where it feels like I’m constantly struggling to breathe.

In the middle of all of this, my sweet kitty who had turned sixteen in March, was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure. We spent money we didn’t have (thanks to the magic of a credit card) to have fluid drained from around his heart and lungs. They removed a quarter of a liter of fluid. For two nights, my sweet furbaby was able to breathe easy again. I was giving him medicine daily, as required, always on schedule. I sacrificed time with friends and moments of precious sleep to monitor him. I would have held out for years if need be -- just to make sure he was safe. Over the years, Mose has been one of the main things that tethers me to this world. A reason to wake up. A reason to keep on living. I raised him every year of his life from the bottle to the bier. 

After day two, I noticed he began to stop sleeping curled up in a ball again. He began sleeping stretched out as long as possible. He didn’t purr unless I was nearby and giving him constant pets, but they were soft and distant. His eyes just staring ahead into the void. On day 4 I took him to the vet. He’d had a bad case of sniffles since they’d drained all the fluid from his chest, but the vet told me he sounded great. He was proud of how I’d been caring for him and said that I had the “hard job” of giving him medicines daily. To me, it wasn’t necessarily hard, just frustrating because I wanted him to take his medicines without causing him too much stress or discomfort. He enjoyed all of the extra gravy at every meal, that’s for sure.

Four days after that impromptu vet visit where I was told I was doing everything right and that he was doing well we had a really bad morning. 10am is the first pill of the day - it’s half of what is already a very small pill. It’s supposed to help him keep the fluid off by urinating more often and drinking more water. He hates it so much that I finally had succumbed the last two days to simply pilling him myself and then giving him his food afterwards. But this morning he struggles more than usual. I try to be gentle, not wanting to hurt his back legs (he was diagnosed with arthritis earlier in the year and had also managed to crush part of his back hips) but it’s difficult with the squirming on a slippery wooden floor. After a minute or so, I finally get him to actually swallow the pill and offer him his food. He walks away from it. Casually. Returns to his bedding. I follow after him, used to this behavior, and offer him the bowl again. This time he gets up and he staggers. Falls over. I drop the bowl and hesitantly reach for him as he gets up and begins staggering again, and now I can see his mouth is agape.

He’s struggling to breathe. To stand. He can’t seem to move his back legs so when he falls over again, his back legs stay perfectly stretched out and he urinates himself. I start calling for my father, reaching to stabilize Mose, and help him off the floor to see he’s also defecated on the floor. He falls over onto his bedding, breaths per minute through the roof -- too fast to count -- and drool pours out one side of his mouth as I grab the pet carrier and put it as close to him as I can. I know there’s 100% no way in hell he’ll be able to walk into it unaided, so I gingerly tug the blanket he’s on inside the carrier. It takes a couple of minutes, but I manage it. We drive pell mell to the Emergency Vet in empty Sunday streets until we hit the city. Boyfriend rushes out of work and meets us at the vet office and takes the news with me that the fluid has already built up again. They’ll need to redrain his chest and keep him overnight for observation. We ask for an itemized bill, already preparing to just throw the credit card at it and pray for the best. But, like most things in America, if you don’t have a surplus of tiny pieces of green paper, you don’t get the choice to live or to even try fighting what ails you. With a bill passed to us of 5,000$ it’s 68$ over the limit of his credit card: we have to make a choice. We can let him suffer at home until he finally suffocates or we can be merciful and have him put to sleep.

We’ve spent two hours sobbing. Mose is in the back in an oxygen tank to help him calm down and breathe. As we sit there fighting with unseen cosmic forces, I’m remembering the hectic drive where my hand is stretched into the cat carrier, caressing his cheek until twenty minutes have passed. He slowly comes back to himself and realizes he isn’t on the living room floor anymore. He gently rests his head on my hand as a sign of thanks, but I can tell he’s still not fairing very well. His breaths per minute, when I count them on the drive, are in the 50s. I whisper to him that he’s okay, not to worry, that I’ll take care of him. He gives me a very small lick and I take it to mean he understands. He trusts me.

So sitting here in the room, deciding his fate without being able to consult him, feels beyond cruel. Because I know my baby. He can fight this. I know if we could afford to give him the chance to fight, he would live another 2 years at least. I want to give him giant windows filled with sunshine like I promised him. When I told him I would take care of him, I didn’t mean by taking his ability to live away. I meant that he could come home and snuggle with me and purr and have more gravy and just be himself. But the obscene amount of money printed on the paper looms. It mocks. It isn’t even an amount that contains what we would need to have him viewed by a cardiologist after the tap -- for they say something else is at work in his body. The fluid drawn from him was unnaturally thick. Could have been cancer, but they would have needed to confirm.

We literally cannot. I tell my boyfriend I can’t physically say it. If we go this route, I cannot speak the words aloud. With a deep breath and heavy sigh, he agrees to shoulder the burden. We compose ourselves long enough to summon the vet assistant and he asks the question that shatters me. I fall apart, sobbing into my hands, while she calmly says she will bring in the information we need.

Thousands of dollars to save a life. Only under five hundred to end it. The price totaled out around 460$ and only was so high given that they’d had him in the oxygen tank for so long and given him a couple of shots to help him breathe. A manageable price, but it leaves one feeling like Judas with unclean hands filled with silver. They bring him wrapped loosely in a brown blanket for us to spend some time together. He buries his head into the folds of fabric, clearly enjoying the warmth, and we all laugh together at how precious he is.

As I stare into his sweet eyes once he’s peeked back out of the cloth, I feel my throat ache with unshed tears. I refuse to cry in this moment. I want these last minutes to be as pleasant as I can make them. I want to see his sweet twitchy-whiskers and boopable snoot without eyes clouded with sadness. The longer I gaze at him, the more I realize that this isn’t a cat ready to give up. He isn’t in a state of just lay down and die. The guilt is crippling. What if we took him somewhere else? Got a different opinion? Got a cheaper option? But it’s a Sunday. The only things available are emergency clinics with prices roughly all the same. And I can’t handle the idea of him suffocating. With all of my lung problems, the worst form of torture and pain to me is having your own lungs fail you. I cannot bear to let him endure that. Aside from my own lung collapsing, I have no earthly idea how much pain and discomfort he was in. I don’t even remember it collapsing. But on my worst days when I struggle to inhale even the smallest of breaths, I feel that I had a better chance of struggling through it than his little lungs.

I apologize to him in whispers. I tell him how much I love him. Over and over. I give him his favorite neck scritches and ear rubs. I pet his little murder mittens. I run my fingers over the areas of skin they’ve shaved only a week ago in order to safely remove the fluid in his chest. It’s barely begun growing back in. We hold him close and give him all the kisses in the world. He gives me one very small kitty kiss and I feel tears welling up that I command to go away. Not yet.

From the moment the vet assistant brought him in to us to the moment she injected the needle that put him into slumber, he purred. He purred nonstop. Loudly. All eight cylinders firing. He was a wonder. With a single injection, his head falls into my hand and he keeps purring. Perfectly snoozing without a care in the world cuz momma’s here with him and she promised he’d be alright. And I feel my heart just plummet through my chest, watching her lift that second syringe. Watching her check for a heartbeat afterwards after I already know. His head lies heavier in my hand than before. The purrs have slowly tapered off into silence. Before she even confirms it, I know he’s gone.

The tears are allowed to flow now. Hot and heavy and unceasing. We hold each other and try to restrain our anger in turn. I find myself unable to remove my hand from underneath his head -- remembering that I do this at home so that he can sleep better. It’s so hard for him to get decent sleep so I’ve become accustomed to not moving in order for him to do so. Boyfriend makes a call once he’s composed himself an hour later. His father answers and agrees to help him dig a grave.

As they take him back to package him for travel, the alarm on my phone goes off. 2pm. It’s time to give Mose his second pill. I stare blankly at the phone screen with a piercing ache in my chest. I’ve set the alarms to repeat forever. Boyfriend gently reaches out and asks if I want him to turn them off for me. I shake my head and do it myself, hands shaking, heart pounding -- already the routine comes to an end.

The rest is rather uneventful. Our bodies struggle to cope with the loss while trying to pass as normal human beings in the presence of someone who may not fully understand why we are suffering so much. It takes them a couple of hours to dig since the chosen spot happened to be primarily bedrock. While they toil in the heat, I find myself curled up in boyfriend’s old bed with the box open beside me. Stroking Mosey’s fur and weeping in the silence. I had longed to one day cuddle him in a bed again, but not like this...not this way.

It’s been two weeks today. The house feels lifeless in a whole new way. I find myself waking up and reaching to pet him only to have my hand fall through empty air. I miss him stretching out to touch my feet with his paws while I play video games beside him. I long to feel him lying next to me, purring like mad, snuggling in against my chest for warmth. I catch myself looking for him while I’m cooking -- always interested in what the humans were eating and waiting for the sniff I always grant him to prove that he doesn’t want the food we’re going to have. I staggered through the house groggily earlier today after sleeping too late with ten minutes to go until 2pm. My sleepy mind had forgotten his loss and all I could think was I needed to make sure he took his heart medicine on time. And as I stared at the empty space on the heating pad and the empty dining room window, the memory hit me. Oh. Just oh.

During the years I spent dealing with an abusive mother, my Mose was there. When I struggled to breathe during bouts of pneumonia, Mose would come check on me when my coughing was prolonged. Just a few weeks ago, I’d had a bad bout of depression where I couldn’t bring myself to leave the blanket nest on the floor. My sweet kitty made sure to sit closer to me, in the cold path of the fan, just to make sure I was fine. Normally, when morning comes, he’ll follow my boyfriend around the house as he gets ready for work, but during that week he refused to leave my side even if he gazed pleadingly at boyfriend to give him goodbye pets. As much as I looked out for him, he returned the favor every time. This sweet furbaby loved me. I was, in every sense, his momma.

I miss him terribly. There’s an ache that’s different than when I lost Thomas in 2008. Somehow more poignant, but I can’t quite place it. I lost my best friend. I lost my son. I lost my pet. I’ve grown up with cats my entire life and know almost everything there is to know, but this was an entirely new experience for me. I’ve never lived with an older pet and Mose? He never showed his age once -- not until this year. Still ran around the house chasing toys, clawing apart the furniture, bounding into and out of boxes, attacking your ankles when you walked past his resting place if he felt particularly playful.

I could tell when he was annoyed so effortlessly and knew what things he did or didn’t like. I could typically predict if something would or wouldn’t intrigue him before he’d been introduced to it. His body language was second nature to me. Without words, I understood him and without me knowing at all what I meowed at him he understood me. If nothing else, I hope the little ferret dragon knew he was oh-so-loved.

Life is hard. Death is easy.

I remember the first thing that came to mind both when Thomas died and when Mose was put to sleep was, “It’s not fair.” but really... Death is the fairest thing there is. It’s the same across the board. No escape from it based on wealth, on health, on popularity -- it comes equally for all even if not in equal measure. It has no bias. It may hurt. It may be a loathsome time. But it is nothing if not just.

So while I suffer through this furnace for this period of my life, I cling to the fact that it was, in part, an inevitability. My anguish is no different than anyone else’s -- we all mourn for what could have been. It does not dull my anger at the “importance” of monetary means to preserve a life, but it soothes me that it would happen with or without those tiny pieces of green paper. I would only prolong something for an uncertain amount of time.

It boils down to I loved my baby. Mose meant so much more than I can ever convey through pixels on a screen. He was loved every moment and spoiled beyond belief. I did everything in my power and some things outside of my power in order to keep him happy, healthy, and here.

Go love your furbabies for me. Give them hugs, kisses, pets, sing them songs, whatever. Let them know they mean the world to you. And, just like you would do with anyone you care for, tell them just how very loved they are.

Love,   Barn Owl

[mikotyzini]

Boundless - Ch. 4 (Snuggles)

Introduction Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Snow was still falling, but it was lighter now than overnight - when large clumps had fallen in frenzied flurries for hours upon end.  By the time morning broke, there were sparse flakes drifting through the air to accompany the thick blanket of white laying over everything in sight.

It was a winter wonderland, and it was just as cold as it was beautiful.  The frigid temperature couldn’t keep them inside, however.  Not when their daily routine included a morning walk - rain or shine.  Or, in this case - rain or snow.  A measly foot of snow wasn’t enough to break that routine.

Bundled up in more clothing than she’d worn in quite some time, Weiss held Ruby’s hand as they trekked through the snow in their snow boots.  Wearing gloves meant she couldn’t feel the warmth of Ruby’s hand, which was just one unfortunate thing sacrificed to this winter weather in the effort to keep the chill at bay.

The two of them walked where they knew the sidewalk should be, even though everything looked similar when covered in a thick layer of fresh snow.  

“Ruby?”

Pausing the story, Weiss looked over and found a waitress - the one Ruby had helped all afternoon - approaching their table.  

“Sorry to interrupt,” she said before smiling hopefully at Ruby.  “I know you’re done for the day, but could you help me with one more table?”

Raising one finger, the girl pointed over her shoulder to a new couple who’d just been seated.  

“Uhh…”  When Ruby glanced at Weiss, Weiss smiled and nodded, silently saying she had no problem waiting.  

“Sure, Penny!” Ruby answered with a big grin as she stood up.  “Hold that thought,” she directed to Weiss before leading Penny towards the new table.

More than happy to wait, Weiss watched the interaction unfold across the patio of the restaurant.  Ruby greeted the couple first, with that grin and bubbly personality getting them to laugh within seconds.  Next, she introduced Penny, who swooped in with her pen and paper to take the couple’s drink order.  It was a rather smooth arrangement - one that both girls seemed comfortable with.

With Penny happily engaged with the newest diners, Ruby hurried back to the table and took her seat.

“Sorry about that!”

“It’s not a problem at all - really.”

Weiss’ reassurance worked this time, as Ruby smiled and picked up her sandwich - prepared to resume eating.

“So we’re walking in the snow -” she prompted Weiss before taking a bite.

“Yes, we’re walking in the snow,” Weiss repeated, smiling at Ruby’s choice of words before continuing their story.

“First ones here!” Ruby remarked while they crossed the street and walked into the deserted park.  The snow here was pristine and untouched - a fact Ruby took giddy pleasure in as their footprints marked the path they took.

“No one else wanted to wake up this early,” Weiss muttered, each word sending a visible puff of air from her lips.

“It’s not that early!  Everyone’s just being lazy cuz it’s a snow day!”

Feeling the nip of a cold gust of wind, Weiss tucked her nose into her scarf while her cheeks burned from the chill.  The sun was out, but provided little warmth on a day like today.  Not that they needed warmth when they had each other - well, not when they had each other and thick winter jackets.

Walking through the small park - their usual destination on these walks - Weiss watched Ruby pick out a slightly-raised section of snow and step on top of it.  It must be the curb of the sidewalk that she’d found - a piece of cement raised several inches off the ground that separated pavement from grassy lawns that were nowhere to be found at the moment.

“Be careful,” Weiss cautioned Ruby while she walked along the curb hidden under the snow.  

“I will be!”

Flashing Weiss one of those blinding grins, Ruby then focused her attention on the nearly indistinguishable bump in the snow that marked her path.  Still worried that Ruby might slip and fall, Weiss maintained a firm grip on Ruby’s hand as they walked.

“So…” Weiss began, watching Ruby with a weary eye when she wobbled on the curb.  “Since classes are canceled, what do you want to do today?”

“Whatever we want!  It’s the first day of winter!”

“Ruby, the first day of winter was weeks ago.”

“Oh…” Brow furrowing, Ruby lost the expression a second later when her grin reappeared.  “Then today’s the first unofficial day of winter!  Cuz we finally got snow.”

When Ruby giggled at the answer, Weiss shook her head and remained quiet.  She’d discovered long ago that it’s remarkably difficult to refute something ‘unofficial’ because, by its very definition, there were no fundamental facts to dispute.

And Ruby had quickly learned that calling something ‘unofficial’ meant that Weiss couldn’t argue.

“What do you want to do on this unofficial first day of winter then?”  Her heart jumped when Ruby teetered and nearly slipped off the curb, but resumed beating when Ruby regained her balance and kept walking forward.

“Hmm...I want to go for a walk with you in the snow!”

Smiling at the response, Weiss nodded. “Done.  Anything else?”

After pondering the question, Ruby grinned and hopped off the curb.  Stooping over, she collected a pile of snow in her gloves and formed it into a snowball. Tossing it up and down in one gloved hand, she gave Weiss an impish grin.

“Ruby Rose,” Weiss warned.  “You better have plans for that snowball that are far away from me.”

“I’d never throw it at you!” Ruby immediately fessed up before smiling once more.  “I was actually gonna give it to you.”

Pressing the ball of snow into Weiss’ hands, Ruby then backed away with another happy grin.

“And see if you can hit me with it!”

As soon as the words left her lips, Ruby turned and took off across what was normally a small grassy area of the park. And by ‘took off,’ Weiss meant that Ruby slowly hopped her way through the snowdrifts while trying to make her brilliant escape.  

Willing to play Ruby’s impromptu game, Weiss took aim, pulled her arm back, and let the snowball fly.  Her aim was good, and the snowball hit Ruby in the back of the shoulder, exploding into cloud of white dust upon impact.  

But the blow must have surprised Ruby, because she immediately tripped over her feet and fell face first into the snow.

“Ruby!”

When Ruby didn’t immediately pop back up, Weiss tried to rush over, but her own feet refused to move quickly through the thick snow. Every step she took was like running through molasses, but eventually, she made it to Ruby and knelt by her side. “Are you ok?”

Rolling Ruby over by the shoulder and finding her eyes closed, Weiss panicked. 

“Ruby??” she said, her alarm growing while she looked Ruby over to find what was wrong.  

Had she hit her head on something when she fell? Maybe there was a rock hidden under the snow?

When Weiss turned around, desperately searching for an answer or someone to help, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist - right before she was flipped onto her back in the snow, squealing in surprise as she fell.

“Gotcha!” Ruby called out, swinging herself on top of Weiss and giggling at her little ploy.

“Ruby!” Weiss shouted, annoyed but mostly relieved she’d only been tricked.  She tried to get up, but Ruby was stubbornly sitting on her chest.  “Get off of me, you - you miscreant!”

“Miscreant?  That’s a new one.”  Ruby grinned but didn’t budge an inch.  Instead, she looked perfectly content to sit on top of Weiss in the snow - grinning like a cat at some prize she’d ‘won.’

“It’s cold, you realize!” Weiss complained, giving up her fruitless struggles and laying back in the thick cushion of snow.

“Is it?  Lemme help.”  Still not getting up, Ruby instead scooted down and then laid forward to hug Weiss in the snow.  Her short, downy brunette hair fell across Weiss’ chin while she snuggled closer, pressing as close as their bulky winter clothing allowed.  “How’s that?”

Adorable was the answer, as it always was when it came to Ruby.  In one simple motion, she melted all of Weiss’ annoyance or indignation at having been tricked by a rather clever ruse.  Unfortunately, she didn’t melt the snow surrounding Weiss like a very cold blanket.

“It’s still cold.”

Laughing at the answer, Ruby hugged Weiss closer, then rolled them over so that Ruby was laying in the snow instead.

“How’s that?” she asked, looking up at Weiss with joyous silver eyes.

“Better…” Weiss begrudgingly admitted, eliciting yet another laugh from Ruby.  She smiled at the sound, unable and unwilling to be anything less than fully happy when the two of them shared moments like these.

“How can I make it better?”

The question was innocent - a genuine desire to make Weiss happy.  What Ruby didn’t seem to realize was that she made Weiss happy.  No matter what they did or what the circumstances may be, Ruby’s presence made everything brighter...warmer.

If there was one thing that could make Weiss even happier in this moment, it was a kiss.

So she leaned down and kissed Ruby, finding her lips were warm despite the red in her cheeks that suggested otherwise.

Ruby was quick to respond, one glove pushing Weiss’ hair out of the way while she returned the kiss in full.  Gone were the days when she was hesitant or unsure about any type of physical intimacy - now, she pulled Weiss closer and deepened the kiss, expressing emotions that could never be put into words.

But Weiss felt and understood them - and did her best to express a fraction of her own love and devotion through fervent, greedy kisses.

It was only when she felt far too warm and their kisses felt far too passionate that she pulled away, looking into Ruby’s eyes while the cawing of a nearby crow made it abundantly clear they were still outside - in a public place, no less.  

Her breathing was heavy - sending billows of visible air out into the world - and she was now remarkably warm.  If anything, it was too hot at the moment.

Clearing her throat, she looked down at Ruby - who looked up at her with one of those expressions of pure joy she never grew tired of seeing.  And in this moment she thought to herself that...she didn’t want to keep her secret from Ruby any longer.  

She knew that Ruby loved her, and she loved Ruby in return.  The only reasons she’d had to wait - for them to grow closer and a bit older - had already fallen by the wayside.  So what was she waiting for?  Why continue to leave Ruby in the dark?  

“That’s better,” Weiss whispered, leaning down and pressing one last kiss to Ruby’s lips before standing and reaching down to pull Ruby to her feet.  “But come on, let’s get up before we both catch a cold.”

Ruby playfully grumbled, but accepted Weiss’ hand and quickly popped up.  Once standing, she stepped close and gently brushed snow from Weiss’ shoulders before straightening her scarf, ending the actions with a smile that warmed Weiss’ heart through and through.

It was little moments like these that made Weiss feel incredibly loved and treasured - a feeling only Ruby was able to create.

“How about we head home and make some hot chocolate?” Weiss suggested, knowing she had a great idea when Ruby’s smile went from radiant to blinding in a heartbeat.

“That sounds awesome!  And tea for you?”

“You know me well,” Weiss replied, reaching out for Ruby’s hand as they turned and headed back the way they came.  But they hadn’t made it more than a few steps before Ruby looked over her shoulder and giggled.

“What do you think people will think of that?” she asked, nudging Weiss’ shoulder and gesturing behind them.  Turning around, Weiss blushed when she saw the patch of trampled snow that looked exactly like what had happened there.

“They’ll think someone was rolling around in the snow,” she answered plainly, the response making Ruby laugh as they left the park behind.

“I’m surprised you actually hit me!” Ruby remarked, swinging their joined hands while they walked.  “Thought for sure it’d go sailing over my head or something.”

Weiss scoffed at the comment.  “l have far better aim than that.”

“But I’m super quick!”

Ruby made a few rapid motions with her feet, but the helpless snow shuffling did little to prove her point.

“You’re unbelievable,” Weiss said in lieu of pointing out to Ruby just how slow the snow made her.

“That’s why you love me!”

Weiss’ heart gave an embarrassing jolt in her chest at the word - the same reaction it had every time she heard Ruby say it.  

“l do,” she replied, squeezing Ruby’s hand. “Even though you’re a real dolt sometimes.”

She used the word playfully and was rewarded with another giggle that lifted her heart with love.

“A dolt you can’t live without!  I know you missed me a ton while I was still in Vale.”

Under Ruby’s watchful gaze, Weiss thought about denying it for denial’s sake.  But what was the point?  She had missed Ruby - more than Ruby might ever understand.

“I did,” Weiss admitted.  “I missed you every single day.”

The answer made Ruby really happy, as she smiled and kicked her boots through the snow.

“I missed you a lot, too...but now we're at the same school and get to see each other all the time!”

“That’s true,” Weiss agreed, sharing a smile with Ruby while their apartment building came into view.

They hadn’t had the best timing in this life, as Weiss learned around their intertwined destinies after moving away for college, with Ruby still finishing high school in Vale.

Weiss wanted to move back right away, but her father wouldn’t allow it.  She’d seriously considered disobeying him and evoking his wrath, but instead found that Ruby was more than willing to wait two years to be together again.

Still, Weiss did everything in her power to remain close with Ruby - phone calls nearly every night, messages during class, flights back whenever possible - and they’d made it through the two years in flying colors.  As soon as Ruby was accepted to the same university, Weiss asked if she would forgo student housing so they could live together.  Without knowing about their eternal connection, it should’ve been a huge step, yet Ruby willingly accepted.

Unfortunately, there was one person in Ruby’s life who was unwilling to allow her little sister to move in with Weiss alone right after high school.  

Fortunately, Yang was nice to have around, mostly. There were times when she was grating or overbearing, but for the most part she was a less abrasive version of some of her other selves.  Weiss was still hopeful Yang would eventually move out, but the living situation wasn’t bad as it currently was.  They’d spent a number of years sharing apartments, houses, even dorm rooms together - this was no different.

“Think it’ll snow more tonight?” Ruby asked, glancing towards the snow-covered streets before pulling open the door to their apartment building and holding it for Weiss to walk through.

“I think we’ll get a little more today, but not much.”

When Ruby let out a soft “hmm” and followed Weiss inside, she tried to figure out if Ruby was disappointed in the news.  

“It was fun to be the first ones out,” Ruby commented while they headed up a flight of stairs to the second story.  “Putting our own mark on the world, you know?  How often do we get to do something like that?”

Blessed with her knowledge, Weiss knew that that happened more often than not, and in ways that left a much larger mark on the world than a set of fresh footprints.  

“Next time it snows, we’ll get up early again,” she replied, giving Ruby a grateful smile when she opened the door to their apartment and gestured Weiss through first.  

Walking inside, she was surprised by the sight greeting them just inside the door.

“Hey guys!” Yang said, pulling on a pair of gloves to complete the full winter outfit she was wearing.  “How is it out there?”

“Cold!” Ruby surmised in a single word, but with an accompanying shiver that made Weiss smile.  “You’re up early!”

“Yeah, heading to the library to work on a paper.” Slinging her backpack over her shoulder, Yang missed the look of shock Weiss and Ruby shared.

“The library??”  Ruby’s tone held an appropriate amount of disbelief, seeing as how Yang only set foot in a library if she needed to use the restroom.  “But classes were canceled!”

“Yeah, but the library’s still open, and I’ve got a paper to work on.  Don’t wanna fall behind!”

Yang grinned at them, and Weiss couldn’t help but smirk when she realized what was actually going on.

“How was your date last night?” she asked.

Yang’s grin turned into a huge, dopey smile at the question - which was all the answer they needed.  

“It was really great,” Yang answered, downplaying how she truly felt (although her smile gave it away).  “She offered to help me out with this paper, so I’m gonna go meet up with her.  Then maybe we’ll grab lunch or something after.”

Yang shrugged as if it was no big deal, but she was positively glowing at the moment.  Glancing to the side, Weiss saw that Ruby was beginning to reflect that glow - beaming in delight that her sister was clearly so happy.

“How will she help you if she goes to a different school?” Weiss asked while Yang pulled on a pair of boots.

“She had a similar class last year.  Plus, she’s just really, really smart.”

“That sounds nice of her.”

“Yeah, she’s super nice.  Really smart, really funny, and just...a really great person.” As Yang’s eyes drifted off, thinking about the girl who’d already captured her heart, Weiss smiled.

“Well, have fun,” Weiss replied, snapping Yang out of her daydream and back to their apartment.  And Yang returned Weiss’ words with a genuine smile - no teasing in sight.

“Thanks, Weiss.  I’ll see you guys later!”  Hurrying out, Yang made a slight detour to rustle Ruby’s hair before leaving the apartment behind.  

The second the door closed, Ruby let out a small squeal of happiness - the excitement from seeing Yang’s smile bursting from her in that cute little noise.

“I’m so happy they’re seeing each other again!” she said, bouncing several steps forward and spinning around to give Weiss a grin.  “l hope this one turns out better than the last one.”

“l think it will, Ruby.  I have a good feeling about this one.”

All Weiss needed was a name to know that Yang had finally found the person she was meant to be with.

“I hope you’re right!” Ruby replied, unzipping her jacket and pulling her arms out of the sleeves.  “Do you remember her name?  Guess I should’ve tried to remember it...”

“It’s Blake,” Weiss answered, smiling as she said the name, looking forward to adding Blake to their lives once again.  “Blake Belladonna.”

“Blake…” Ruby repeated, trying out the name before nodding.  “I hope she’s nice.  I wanna see Yang this happy all the time.”

“I do too, Ruby.”

In this world, Yang put her heart on the line far too early and often.  Unfortunately, this meant that she was normally the one getting crushed by people who didn't deserve her trust.  Weiss had done her best to dissuade Yang from seeing anyone whose initials weren’t B.B., but with only moderate success.

Thankfully, the worrying ended now.  With Blake in the picture, Yang’s heart was in good hands.

Unfortunately, Ruby’s brow was still furrowed while she mulled over the situation, still concerned about her older sister.  She didn’t know what Weiss knew...and this was just another reason why Ruby should know - so she could stop worrying, too.

Removing her gloves, then unraveling her scarf, Weiss watched Ruby hang her jacket by the door before placing her hat on the shelf directly above ‘her’ coat hook.  Her cheeks were still adorably pink from the cold, and her hair was all kinds of disheveled from wearing the hat, but she looked as cute as ever.

And she looked even cuter when she bounced over to Weiss with a grin.

“May I take your coat, milady?” she asked, bowing her head and extending one hand to gesture for Weiss’ jacket.

“You may indeed,” Weiss replied, shrugging out of her jacket and handing it to Ruby, who grinned as she walked over to hang it next to her own.  While Ruby did that, Weiss stepped out of her boots and left them by the door.  The snow was already melting off the bottoms and creating a puddle on the floor, but they’d clean that up later.

One unexpected benefit of Blake’s appearance was that they now had the day to themselves, with no place to be and - as far as Weiss was concerned - no desire to step into the frigid air again.

“I’ll make you hot chocolate?” she offered, stepping towards the kitchen but pausing when Ruby’s brow furrowed and she shook her head.

“Naw, not right now.  I wanna show you something first!”

Brightening, Ruby waved Weiss after her as she hopped into the living room.  Curious about what could possibly be more important than hot chocolate after a walk in the snow, Weiss followed Ruby and stopped when they were both standing in front of the sofa.  

Ruby was grinning about something, but there was nothing new here.  It was the same living room it had always been - a sofa, a television, a bookshelf along one wall holding more movies than books…

“What is it?” Weiss asked, glancing around one more time in an attempt to spot whatever it was Ruby wanted to show her. When Ruby waved towards the TV, Weiss’ eyes snapped that direction in search of whatever she was missing.

“Ruby -?”

No sooner had the word left her mouth did two strong arms wrap around her waist and pull her off her feet.  Again, she yelped in surprise - finding herself suddenly falling - but the fall abruptly ended when she landed on top of Ruby on the sofa.

That’s when she heard the giggles - lots of them coming from the girl still holding her close.

“Ruby!” she exclaimed, her heart thundering in her chest while Ruby continued to giggle.  “What’s with you doing that today?”

“You’re so cuteeeee,” was Ruby’s answer as she burrowed into Weiss’ neck, rustling through her hair and sending tingles of thrill down her spine.

That wasn’t really an answer, but Weiss only capable of a partial pout at the moment.  Even so, Ruby sensed it without even being able to see.  

“Do you want me to stop?”

Seeing as how Ruby’s arms were still wrapped around her while they lay on the sofa together, that was a question Weiss could easily answer.

“...no.”

“Good!  Cuz I don’t wanna!”

Playfully rolling her eyes at the answer, Weiss resituated - pulling her legs onto the sofa and snuggling into Ruby’s side, while Ruby moved her arms to wrap one around Weiss’ shoulder and pull her close. Reaching up, Weiss dragged the blanket off the back of the sofa and draped it over them.  

With the snowflakes lightly drifting outside, the blanket warming her cold feet after their walk, and Ruby pressed close, Weiss was quickly drifting into heaven. 

Fumbling with the remote control, Ruby switched on the TV but turned the volume down until the voices were hardly distinguishable. It wasn’t for entertainment at the moment, but she liked having background noise - quiet spaces drove her a little crazy, with her hyper side showing up early and often.

Weiss was used to the soft noise by now, and she even found that a little background noise was nice if it was quiet enough. Right now, she could still hear the sound of Ruby’s heartbeat over the television, so the noise level was perfect.

In the pseudo-silence, Ruby sighed in content and absentmindedly played with Weiss’ hair.  And Weiss secretly loved it when Ruby played with her hair - only Ruby though.

Weiss was like Yang in some ways, especially when it came to not wanting others to touch her hair.  She spent quite a bit of time and effort in the morning making it look nice - why would she be ok with someone willfully messing it up?  Of course, she spent the time and effort in order to look nice for Ruby, so if anyone was free to undo all of that work, it was Ruby.  

Leaning into Ruby’s side, hearing and feeling her heart beating, Weiss was at peace.  There was no other way to describe it - this all-encompassing calm that washed over her like a warm ray of sunshine.  She could fall asleep like this.  She had fallen asleep like this.

But it was in this moment of mutual harmony that she knew - now was the time to tell Ruby.

“Ruby?” she asked, hearing a soft “Hmm?” in response. Reaching over and holding Ruby’s other hand in her own, she took a deep breath and asked the question that had been on her mind for weeks now.  

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

“Like how you and me are meant to be?”  Ruby giggled at her little rhyme, which made Weiss smile in turn.

“Yes, exactly like that.  Do you believe that we’re meant to be together because the universe decided it?”

She held her breath while waiting for an answer - thankfully, with Ruby an answer was never far away.

“Hmm…I guess I do!  I know it’s always been so easy to be with you - like as soon as I met you, I just knew we were supposed to be together!”

Weiss appreciated the sentiment, even though she wasn’t easy to be with at that time.  The two of them met before she turned eighteen and...well, suffice to say that she wasn’t always the kindest to Ruby.

Ruby, however, was a glutton for punishment. No matter how many times Weiss made her disdain known, Ruby kept coming back - and eventually wormed her way into Weiss’ heart.  It was nothing more than begrudging acknowledgment at first, then reluctant acceptance, and eventually confounded admission that her feelings might mean more than she ever let on.

Then she turned eighteen, and...well, she’s been making up for those early years ever since.

“Can I tell you something?” she asked, sitting up and immediately regretting leaving the warmth of Ruby’s side.  Sensing the seriousness of the question, Ruby also sat up and watched Weiss with intent eyes.

“Yeah, of course!  You can tell me anything.”

Truer words had never been spoken, as Weiss knew that she could tell Ruby absolutely anything and Ruby would still love her. That didn’t keep the nerves at bay, however, because this was a rather big admission to make.  

“What if I told you that we are destined to be together?” Weiss asked, reaching out to hold Ruby’s hand for support.  “What if we’re meant to be together in every universe, no matter when or where that happens?”

“That sounds really awesome!”  

The quick agreement gave Weiss more than enough assurance to continue.  

“And what if I told you that I could remember those universes?  All of those lives we spent together?”

This concept took Ruby longer to absorb, as she pursed her lips and mulled the confession over in her head.

“Are you joking?” she asked, giving Weiss a look that requested an honest reply.  Weiss shook her head and squeezed Ruby’s hand, maintaining as much seriousness as possible so Ruby wouldn’t think this was some elaborate prank.

“I’m not joking, Ruby.  I can’t explain how it works, but please believe that it’s true.”

Her words were more beseeching that she’d intended, but she didn’t care - she was far too focused on the way Ruby’s mouth was hanging slightly open while processing the new information.

“You remember all of them?”

“I do,” Weiss replied with a nod.  “When I turned eighteen, I...I remembered all of these other realities that we lived in.  So many of them, Ruby.  More than I could ever dream of.”

She watched Ruby’s eyes closely, reading the emotions that flitted through them.  There was confusion, then concern, but then Ruby laughed - not a ‘you’re crazy’ type of laugh, but a genuinely excited laugh.

“That’s so awesome!” she said, squeezing Weiss’ hand while her eyes sparkled with joy.  “I mean, is your brain super stuffed then?  That seems like a lot to fit in your head at once!”

When Ruby reached up and gently tapped Weiss on the head, she sighed in relief.

Making it through that moment, she always wondered what she was nervous about.  Even if Ruby was disbelieving of the information at first, she always believed in time - but maybe it was time that Weiss was scared of losing, loathe to miss a single moment they could spend in each others’ arms.

“It does get a little confusing at times,” she admitted, smiling in relief when Ruby grinned back at her.

“So glad you’ve got the memories instead of me. No way I could keep that straight.”

“You’d do just fine.  I have every bit of confidence in your mind.”

Briefly scrunching up her face at the words, Ruby then laughed and shook her head.  “So that means this is actually like...the seven thousandth time we’ve been together?”

Weiss laughed at the number, relieved that Ruby was taking the knowledge with hardly a falter in her smile.  

“I’ve never tried to count, but there’s been a lot.”

“Seven thousand sounds like a good place to start,” Ruby replied, adding in a nod while she leaned back against the sofa. “Man...seven thousand lives together...and you remember them all.  That’s so cool.”

When Ruby’s eyes unfocused in thought, Weiss smiled and inched closer.

“Thank you, Ruby,” she said, meaning the words as much as her heart could express.

“Thank you for telling me,” Ruby replied with one of those quirky smiles Weiss adored.

Ruby didn’t have to believe her.  Ruby didn’t have to believe something that Weiss couldn’t even prove was true.  Yet Ruby always believed - sometimes in her own time, but she always believed Weiss in the end.  She always believed in Weiss.

Leaning forward, Weiss pressed a kiss to Ruby’s lips before pulling away and smiling.

“You’re incredible, you know,” she whispered, reaching up and tenderly tucking several strands of hair behind Ruby’s ear.  They stubbornly fell out of place again, but...they often did that.

“You’re the incredible one!”

Of course that was Ruby’s response - not that Weiss minded.  She loved being the one who Ruby thought so highly of.  

Pulling her feet back onto the sofa, Weiss leaned into Ruby as Ruby made room for them to resume their snuggling.  This time it was Ruby who pulled the blanket over Weiss, taking care to tuck in the edges so no cold air slipped underneath.

“So you remember when you turn eighteen?” Ruby asked, wrapping her arm around Weiss and leaning down to press a kiss to her hair.

“Yes.  I found a rose on my pillow on my birthday.  When I picked it up...I remembered everything.”

“But you liked me even before that!”

Pulling Ruby’s hand down to hold in front of her, Weiss smiled at the comment.

“That’s right, I did.  Guess I don’t need to have those memories to know you’re special.”

Hearing a happy “Mhmm” from above her, Weiss snuggled in even more.

“So...why’d you decide to tell me now?” Ruby asked while her fingers ran through Weiss’ hair - the feeling very nearly lulling her to sleep.

“Because you’re being so cute today,” she replied, smiling when Ruby let out a playful huff.

“I mean, I figured, but why else?”

“I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time now,” Weiss admitted.  “I felt like it was time you knew, and I didn’t want to keep it a secret anymore.”

Ruby made another soft cooing sound at the response, agreeing with Weiss’ words before they lapsed into comfortable silence. Weiss could tell that Ruby was still thinking over the information she’d just learned - dissecting and digesting it in her own way.  After her initial analysis was complete, she would have questions, but until then...

“And I had something to tell you,” Weiss added.

“Like secrets from other universes?”

“I’m not allowed to share the secrets.”  When Ruby’s hand abruptly stopped its soothing path through her hair, Weiss quickly added, “Kidding.  I’m just kidding.”

Ruby laughed at the joke while her hand resumed playing with Weiss’ hair.

“I thought you were gonna say there are crazy rules about sharing secrets or something!”

“No...no rules.  I can tell you anything.”

“And everything?”

Weiss smiled at the question, which was exactly what she’d hoped to hear.  She wanted to share everything with Ruby.  Or, at the very least, as much as she was able to share within this lifetime.

“I’ll tell you as much as I possibly can,” she replied.  “But the first thing is rather relevant.  You know the girl Yang is seeing today - Blake?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, she’s very special.”

“Meaning…?”

“Meaning, she ends up with Yang in every life I can remember.”

When Ruby’s hands paused again, Weiss craned her neck to find Ruby’s eyes widened in shock.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying??” Ruby asked, her excitement already bubbling forth.  Meeting Ruby’s eyes, Weiss managed a serious expression and nodded.

“Yes.  Yang finally found the one.”

Hooting in glee, Ruby abruptly jumped off the couch and did several hops in front of the TV.

“Are you serious?” she asked after her legs came to a stop, pointing both hands at Weiss.

“I’m serious.”  

Weiss laughed when Ruby did another little dance of happiness before rushing back to the sofa and grabbing Weiss’ hands.

“Then we can totally mess with her, right?” Ruby asked, her eyes begging for a ‘yes.’  And after the number of jokes, pranks, and teases Weiss had suffered through their lives at the hands of Yang Xiao Long...maybe it was time to get a little even.

“Yes, we can,” Weiss answered, smiling when Ruby squealed with happiness.  She was giddy now, and rightfully so, but Weiss reached out and beckoned her back to the sofa.

Thankfully, Ruby gladly sat down and pulled Weiss into another hug.  She was bursting with energy, but still willing to snuggle together - which was all Weiss wanted to do today.  Well, that, and discuss the other lives they’d shared.

“Ok, important question - which one of these universes was I the most awesome in?”

Laughing at the typical Ruby question, Weiss snuggled closer, pressing into Ruby’s side to soak up as much warmth as possible.

“You’re equally awesome in all of them.”  Without looking up, she knew Ruby was pouting at the answer so she added, “But in one of them, you were a queen.”

Ruby laughed, her chest rising and falling while Weiss listened to the sound with a smile.

“When you say we’re together in every universe...does that mean like, together forever?”

“Yes, it does.”

There was a short pause, and before Weiss could question what was going through Ruby’s mind at the moment, Ruby spoke again.

“So...does that mean that you’ll be with me forever?”

Sitting up at the question, Weiss swiveled around to look into Ruby’s eyes, finding hesitant, hopeful silver staring back at her. She hadn’t expected the conversation to lead them here right away, but she had no problem giving this answer. It was a commitment...and she was willing to make it.

“Yes,” she replied.  “I want to be with you forever.  If you’ll have me.”

She knew the answer from Ruby’s radiant smile - one filled with so much love and affection that Weiss’ own heart swelled from happiness.

“That’s what I’ve always wanted!”

Smiling, Weiss stretched up and gave Ruby a quick kiss before pulling away.

“Me too,” she answered, sinking into Ruby’s embrace while all-encompassing peace and contentedness washed over her.

What a perfect start to a perfect day.

There was silence at the table after the story ended - the only sounds coming from conversations happening around them.  

The memory left Weiss with a warm glow spreading through her chest and a smile on her lips.  She loved recalling these blissful moments from lives that were gone, but not lost.  She loved that she could share them with Ruby...even if Ruby was unsure if they were true or not.  

“Wow,” Ruby finally said, sitting back in her chair and looking rather stunned.  “I was super chill about that!  Like, I took the news like a champ.”

“Yes, you did.”  

That was one of the easiest and quickest versions of this conversation they’d had.  It started and ended like a gentle breeze, barely enough to register as a bump in their relationship.

“Jeez…”  Frowning slightly, Ruby shook her head and gave Weiss an apologetic look.  “Sorry I’m struggling so much this time.”

“Ruby,” Weiss replied, shaking her head.  “You have nothing to apologize for.  Remember, we’d been dating for several years by that point.  I don’t expect it to happen that way every time - it doesn’t happen that way every time.”

“Still...it sounds really cute!”

“It was.  But every life we have is different.”  Pausing for a moment, Weiss only continued when she had Ruby’s full attention once more.  “I love that they’re always different, Ruby.  I love that you react in new ways every time.  It would be rather boring to have the same conversation over and over again, but with you...it’s never boring.”

Drumming her fingers on the table, Ruby wore a thoughtful expression while mulling over Weiss’ words and the most recent story. But then her fingers abruptly stopped, and her eyes widened in surprise.

“Wait, did you say I was a queen in one of these lives??”

Delighted that Ruby had latched onto that little tidbit, Weiss smiled and nodded.

“Would you like me to tell you about it?” she offered, receiving a blinding beam in response.

“Heck yeah!”

[hey-hey-chan]

Supernatural!Bang Chan

So, I decided to start a new series of of supernatural!Stray Kids, yay! I was gonna do a soulmate one but I just finished a series about a boarding school with tons of supernatural beings so this is sorta gonna be interesting.. btw the series I was reading is called Shadow Falls-definitely check it out if you enjoy reading and love triangles (which I usually hate). And sorry in advance if some of my ideas are similar to the ones in Shadow Falls - but like there are only so many things you can do with the same types. 

Also, these scenarios are going to take place in boarding school for mythical creatures cuz I find that more interesting XD 

Another note, I was gonna write these in like bullet form or 3rd person, but I started to do that and realized-hey, I can’t write in 3rd person to save my life. :(

P.S. I don’t edit my work so... beware

The screeching bell rang through the hallways, creating rough murmurs of all of the students. Being as different as we are, we’re still like normal teens, mumbling insults under our breath. 

“Ugh, seriously, why haven’t they changed the bells yet? Everyone knows vamps have sensitive hearing.” An older vampire girl had questioned. I had only been at this school for a couple of weeks, but I could help but notice how all of the same types of beings stuck together: faes with faes, weres with weres, vampires with vampires, etc. And it sucked because despite knowing my powers, I was half vampire and half werewolf - almost a forbidden mix. 

Everyone knew werewolves and vampires hated each other; they were forced to play nice in the school, but were always hostile towards each other. There was one mixed vampire and werewolf in the school, but she was a teacher, so no one poked fun at her. Obviously I didn’t have a group to run to, I couldn’t hang with the weres without being called a blood sucker and I couldn’t go to the vampires without being called a filthy mutt. 

As I said before, it was only 2 weeks since I learned of my abilities, but I hated them every day. 

As usual, I got caught up in daydreaming what it would be like to run through the open fields of my old house again and accidentally stumbled over the vampire girl. She gasped, can you say overdramatic much?

“Sorry,” I mumbled, not wanting to draw attention to myself. Luckily, she let it go, whispering “filthy dog” as I passed her. I scurried out of the history of vampires class and happily jogged to my dorm room, who I shared with a fae girl. 

Luckily for me, faes didn’t really care about the whole werewolf/vampire rivalry, faes had their own rivals - witches, though that rivalry wasn’t as bad as the first. 

“Hey Joohyun,” I said as I entered. She smiled and nodded to me. Joohyun was a pretty good roommate, she was quiet, clean, a good chef, and she didn’t make fun of me. I could see us being friends, you know, if she ever talked to me, hence the quietness.

She was a few years older, so she didn’t have as many classes as I did. 

We sat in silence for a few hours until she tapped me lightly on the shoulder. I flinched and then jumped out of my chair, due to my quick reflexes. Though, I immediately relaxed as I saw a scared Joohyun in front of me. 

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I just-I don’t know.” I stumbled over my words. She shook her head and laughed nervously.

“No it’s fine. I should’ve known that you would’ve gotten worked up.” She patted me on the shoulder awkwardly. “So you know, it’s your first month here and I know it’s hard adjusting since you’re...mixed and stuff so I wanted to ask if you wanted to come to this party with me?” I immediately started to form the word “no” but Joohyun started to throw out her fae convincing skills. Faes had the ability of charm and even when they turned it off, it still shined through with their natural skills. 

“C’mon y/n, you’ve been doing nothing socially active for the past couple of weeks, go out and have fun. I swear this school isn’t as bad as you think, it’s only those wolves and vamps who are all uptight, the rest of us aren’t so bad.” I still was uncertain. She pulled out her pretty puppy eyes and laid her arm on my shoulder. I could feel her altering my emotions.

“Please? I don’t wanna go alone and I wanna introduce you to some of the faes and some other kinds. You don’t need to mingle with the weres and vamps if you don’t want to. We really don’t care how you’re mixed.” I sighed, knowing I had nothing better to do anyways. 

“Fine, I’ll go lemme just throw on... some clothes.” I gestured to my gingerbread pjs. She smiled.

Unfortunately and regretfully, I found myself standing in front of... nothing. 

“Joohyun, what the hell is this?” I half-shouted, looking at nothing but trees and dirt in front of me. She chuckled. “I swear if you lured me out here to kill me, I will-” Joohyun just laughed.

“Kangaroos.” She randomly said. What the fuck?

Suddenly, I felt myself being pulled into some kind of vertex and ended up having to cover my ears because of the booming music and loud chatter. 

“A portal with a mist over it, created by my good friend who’s very powerful witch.” God, I was never gonna get used to this magic stuff. 

“Hey Joohyun!” A guy appeared, hugging Joohyun tightly enough that they weren’t awkward, but not overly romantic. “Glad you could make it, sis.” Wait, sis?

“Wait, you have a brother?” Suddenly, the boy looked at me, as if he noticed my presence. 

Once he turned towards me, I immediately recognized him. I had never talked to him, but I always heard him talking. He was quite the social butterfly; always talked about, always desired by the girls, and highly regarded in the student body of the school. I recognized the guy as fae, just like Joohyun. 

“Oh, hey, sorry, didn’t see you there. Plus, I didn’t think my sister would bring a friend. She’s the quiet type but she’s pretty so boys love her.” He joked, I think. Joohyun hit him on the arm, but she had a calm smile. 

“Yeah we’re siblings-” The boy cut her off.

“No one really knows cuz my sister over here never talks and here I am chatting up a storm with girls falling at my feet and teachers to their knees.” I laughed politely but I was still overwhelmed by the atmosphere. Joohyun sighed.

“Yes, please meet Chan, my baby brother, sadly. And I don’t tell many people cuz most people don’t believe me or try to befriend me to get to him.” Chan laughed, his dimples showing and all. I blushed at my thoughts, wondering how I could feel something for someone so fast. 

“Oh please, don’t flatter me.” He extended his hand to me. “So I’m Chan, host of this banging party, and you are?” Oh shit, I almost forgot to introduce myself. 

“Oh, yeah, um, I’m y/n, I just moved here like two weeks ago.” I added with an awkward smile. His eyes got brighter with realization. My palms started to sweat, and not from heat. 

“Oh my gosh, are you that new girl? Vamp and werewolf, the most interesting combo.” At that remark, Joohyun hit her brother, now with a frown. 

“You don’t need to stick around for my rude brother, let’s go meet some nice people.” Joohyun took my hand as she guided me through the crowd. 

I clumsily bumped into a couple making out, toughing each other where people should only be touched with doors closed. The two vamps hissed at me but I didn’t stick around. 

Soon, Joohyun found what she was looking for and stopped. 

“Joohyun!” The group exclaimed.I sniffed them out, most of them fae except for the few exceptions of a shape shifter and warlock in the mix. 

“So this must be your new roomie, the girl who caused quite the ruckus at our quiet school.” The girl shook my hand. “I’m Jimin, I’m a fae.”

“y/n, and I can tell.” I added, vampires and werewolves always could sniff out types easier than the others. They all laughed at my not so funny joke. 

“We know who you are. I gotta say, you brought excitement y/n. Most of us have known each other for a while, so you’re new blood, which excites and terrifies us.” I chuckled nervously at her statement. 

“Well, sorry to disappoint, but I’m not a very interesting person.” They laughed and soon the party kicked up a notch and people started to get drunker and drunker as the night went on. I stayed in the small group of faes who happened to be nicer than expected. Someone had put a drink in my hand, but I refused to drink it - I’m smarter than that.

“Yo yo yo, hold up, hold up.” A screech echoed through the air, making everyone cover their ears. “Ayo, I have something to say.” All the students made their attention towards the handsome, but obviously drunk werewolf who made his way to the mic. 

Out of instinct, my heart started to beat faster and I grew anxious for no reason; I just had a bad feeling. 

“Well say it fast Sejoon or get off the stage!” Chan yelled. His eyes were bright and glazed over from drinking, but also, he was curious to see what Sejoon would say. Sejoon cackled into the mic, making me flinch.

“Well, to be quick, my kind’s feud with the vampires have stemmed over centuries, stemming from our founding fathers, and yet, a little girl has come to mess it all up.” I gulped, feeling chatter erupt. “I have been at this school for 10 years, not once I had a problem with it. And I, as the good person I am, never cause serious trouble with a vampire or lash out, but today my friends, today is the day I lay down my foot.” He stopped and threw his glass on the ground. 

“And I know she’s here tonight! I saw her! You!” My heart stopped as he pointed at me. Everyone’s heads, in an instant, snapped at me. 

“y/n, the bloodsucker and who tainted our line! You dare come here?” He laughed as I felt shame wash over me. “You’re a werewolf and a vamp, but you exude no confidence in yourself despite being two of the cockiest kinds.” I suddenly grew scared of the other vamps and weres in the room who were eyeing me like some kind of prize, though I felt bittersweet with the other types who sent me sympathetic stares. “Pathetic you are just a pathetic little-” Suddenly the mic screeched again, throwing everyone’s heads down. 

“Get off of me you fairy!” I looked up at those words and saw Chan wrestling the drunk were for the mic. 

“Get off my stage you asshole! This is my party and it’s welcome for all kinds!” Chan yelled, using his strength to push poor Sejoon on the ground. 

“Hey! You little bitch, you think you can mess with the weres? We’re ten times stronger than any fae!” An arrogant were had yelled. Chan, despite probably being weaker, laughed. 

“Oh yeah? Well here’s this dumbass, I have an army of friends to protect me, will your pack do the same?” The were growled at the threat of his pack, loyalty meant everything to a wolf. The wolf lunged at Chan, but he swiftly avoided it and glared at him. 

“Well, now that that’s done, no more fighting at my party or I’ll have Kasey zap you all with her spell, mmkay?” He walked off the stage, exuding charisma I’ve only dreamed of having. 

Suddenly, the music played again and everything was right. I guess people get over fights quickly here. 

“Hey, you alright?” I heard a charming voice say behind me. I whipped around and saw Chan staring at me with dark brown eyes. I gulped. 

“Hm oh that? Yeah, I’m used to it now.” I lied. He looked serious, not like his usual expression, and took my wrist. 

“Follow me.” I felt compelled to follow him and suddenly we were in his room. I snapped out of his compulsion and flew against the wall.

“Please don’t touch me! I’m not ready and I barely know you!” I rambled on, hoping I didn’t have to test out my new powers.

“y/n, y/n, calm down. I didn’t bring you up here for that!” He yelled over me. I opened my eyes. 

“You didn’t?” 

“No, and if I did, closing your eyes and praying wouldn’t be a good option. You should try like, idk, attacking them.” He added. I took a deep breath and calmed down. I could feel anger still radiating off of him in waves from the recent fight.

“Yeah, sorry, um, that was wrong to assume of you. um, but why am I up here?” I gently asked. He turned around, making me swoon with his dark gaze, differing from his usual kind eyes.

“I just wanted to apologize in a quiet environment. I was rude to you when I first met you, I totally forgot about how it would be totally annoying for people to talk about you being mixed vamp and were, it must get troubling.” I nodded.

“Understatement of the year dude. I just started to show signs like a month ago and then my parents, human ones, shipping me here on regards to my school counselor, who, of course, happened to be a witch.” He chuckled, finally showing the true Chan everyone knew. “The others are nice, though I never belonged anywhere in the human world, and now not even the supernatural one? Sucks balls.” I cursed. He let out a loud chuckled.

“Golly, never thought I would hear that leave your mouth.” I snorted.

“Well, you don’t really know me.” We stood in silence for a moment.

“You’re right, but that’s what’s intriguing. You’re different you know? You’re kind of scared, anxious, always on edge at school, kinda wimpy for a werewolf and vampire.” I glared.

“Oh wow, be still my beating heart.” I joked. He smiled, showing those dimples that made my heart pound. 

“It’s kinda of refreshing, plus you showed up to my party wearing a hoodie and sweats, who are you?” I shrugged.

“I didn’t bring party clothes... and I hate jeans, too confined. Must be the dog in me.” He laughed and ruffled his curly blonde hair. I shuffled my feet. 

“So, you’re Joohyun’s brother?” I mentioned casually. He nodded and I saw his eyes light up, which made me all coo from him loving his sister. 

“Yup, one and only. I give her a rough time, so I would ask of you to try and ease up on her.” I smiled.

“You’re not too bad. I guess I should thank you for defending me out there. No one else would have.” He looked as if he were going to say something, but then backed out.

“You’re half right, most people wouldn’t have. But I’m sure no one would let you get hurt, it’s a rule here, defend when thy bully is acting out.” I rolled my eyes. 

“Guess we have to exterminate all the weres and vamps.” I joked, he laughed too. 

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Joohyun will protect you... Well sorta, she has the gift of healing, so if you get beat up, she can help.” I laughed. 

“Wow, I feel so safe now.” I half joked, I guess everyone here has something to offer. His eyes turned darker, but still smiling, somewhat flirty, I think? 

“And I’m here too.” I raised a brow. 

“What?” He sighed. 

“I’m here to protect you too. Faeries don’t just sit around in tutus and flirt with everyone who walks.” I shrugged.

“I don’t know, you’re quite the charmer, I’ve heard.” He turned his head away while scratching his neck. And, was he blushing? Oh my gosh, now I’m blushing.

“Not really, I guess I’m social, I don’t mean to flirt, it’s just the fae in me.” He shrugged, but I grinned as his shyness. 

“Hey buddy, don’t sell yourself short. You’ve got the looks, the charm, and the style, who couldn’t love you?” He gave me a stare that made me feel melt to the floor. 

“You think I’ve got the looks?” He gave me a flirty grin that I couldn’t help but chuckle. I then opened the door, and was embraced by the booming music. 

“Ok bud, we’ve spent enough time in here. People might think we’re doing something.” He stared at me innocently. 

“Hm, but could we?” He asked while shutting the door and pressing me against it. I immediately pushed him off and he went flying. I wanted to look shocked but all I felt was smug. 

“Nice try Chan, but you’re gonna have to try harder than that.” He bounced up and looked at me with a newfound respect in his eyes.

“Woah, you got like ten times hotter when you threw me across my room.” I laughed and so did he. I coughed to break the tension.

“Well, time for me to go.” He smiled. 

“I’ll see you again, right?” I gave him a lopsided grin.

“Well, your sister is my roommate, unfortunately.” He smiled, looking more and more enticing as I stared. I quickly turned around and made my way out.

“Ok, later fairy boy.” But I already knew my time here wouldn’t be as bad as I thought it would.

I know I write too much and that’s one of my weaknesses, my apologies for anyone who actually read this lol. Happy new years eve and I’m shaking just thinking about school. 

and so how this supernatural au is gonna work is basically the boys won’t necessarily be the same, but I’m not gonna make them all faeries cuz that’s too much. 

Woojin will be next so look out for that! I hope y’all stick around :)

[dialoversotaka]

DL Character Meme

Hey guys! Another DL tag game, yay! Thanks for tagging me, ma’ bros @vampiretsuki and @mythicamagic (i feel so loved, srsly)! Anyway, here we go:

Rules: List your top 10 favorite DL characters (it doesn’t just have to be the dateable guys, any characters are fair game) in order. And the answer the questions. Blank questions at the end.

1. Ayato 2. Subaru 3. Shin 4. Carla 5. Reiji 6. Ruki 7. Yuma 8. Kou 9. Shuu 10. Azusa

1. Number 5 (Reiji) has decided they want to completely change up their wardrobe and they take you shopping with them so you can give your opinions on what new outfits they should buy. What sort of clothes are you going to recommend? Wooah, that’s so crazy! Tbh, idk if Reiji would listen to my opinions... anyway, I’d reccommend respectable, but stylish clothes, I think they suit him well

2. You walk into your room one day to find number 2 (Subaru) standing on your bed, dancing to your favourite song while wearing nothing but your favourite underwear. How do you react? I’d start to laugh and cringe at the same time, then I’d make him go out and start listening to ‘’The Sound of Silence’’ trying to make sense of what just happenned and be traumatized for life

3. Number 7 (Yuma) has to go to the dentist but they’re adamantly refusing. How would you persuade them to go? Idk how Yuma thinks very well, so idk a good way for me to convince him... my strategy is usually sweet talk first, and if that doesn't work, threatening is right after, but it wouldn’t work on Yuma since i wouldn’t make him afraid haha

4. You lose a bet with number 6 (Ruki) and now have to be their personal maid for a day. Do you go through with it or do you try to get out of it? I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t ask for anything sexual, but i’m too lazy and doing chores is a pain in the ass for me! But I guess it’s better to put up with it if I don’t want to get punished

5. Number 4 (Carla) takes you to see a horror movie however they end up getting absolutely terrified halfway through and bury their head into your shoulder. How do you react? ...There’s just NO WAY he’d do it, srsly! What about his pride as a Founder King? I mean, I wouldn’t tease him for it, but I’d sure think there’s something rlly wrong with him that day, thinking like ‘’His Endzeit must be affecting him deeply, not only phiscally but also mentally...’’

6. Number 9 (Shuu) surprises you with a cake they’ve baked especially for you. Are you going to eat it? Oh... i must be very special for Shuu if he gets up to bake a cake for me... I guess I would? But before i’d say ‘’...If you put something inside on purpose and i don’t feel good, i’ll make you my butler until i feel better, you hear me?!’’

7. Number 8 (Kou) accidentally manages to completely trash their room, to the point where it’s uninhabitable. They don’t have anywhere to stay while it’s being repaired and so they ask if they can room with you for the next couple of weeks. How do you respond? Kou, I like you, but I wouldn’t, srry! I’d let you have my room and I’d even clean up yours so you could go back to it, I’d even sleep in the dungeons but i wouldn’t share, srry babe

8. Number 1 (Ayato) has decided to learn how to play the trumpet. The downside to this is that, for some reason, they’ve taken to practicing right outside your room around the time you normally go to sleep. What are you going to do? Ayato, my dear husbando, sometimes you go off the edge! But i don’t think he’d listen if i complained anyway, so i’d let it go till a certain extent, and then when i exploded... well, let’s just say that he would be handling a throwing tantrum Kanato, haha...

9. Number 10 (Azusa) recently purchased a cat onesie and they’ve insisted on wearing it everywhere over the past few days. They’ve now purchased a matching onesie for you and they’re being very insistent that you wear it and go out in public together. What do you do? Aww man! How can I say no to cutie Azusa? I’d go once, but more than that I don’t think I would... it’s too embarassing and i don’t like cats so much

10. Number 4 (Carla) is still scared after watching that horror film with you. It’s now late at night and they’re demanding that you let them sleep in your bed with you. What do you do? I’d be rlly suspicious and still think that the Endzeit’s effects were too strong that day, so i’d say there’s no problem and then wait till he was asleep to get the hell outta there and sleep somewhere else (i’m cunning and kinda deceiving when i feel threatened)

11. Number 3 (Shin) confesses to you that they want to be an Olympic gymnast but struggle to even touch their toes. What sort of advice do you give to them? I’d laugh (srry), but then i’d say that he needs to start doing some flexibility exercises every day and gradually he’d be able to pursue his dream

12. Number 7 (Yuma) decides they want to paint a picture of you. They make you sit still for hours while they work on it, only when they finally reveal it to you, the image bears absolutely no resemblance to you. They ask you for your opinion, what do you say? I’d thank him for the effort and say that it’s good, but that it doesn’t look like me so much and say ‘’if you want to try again some other time, just ask me and i’ll do it with joy ok? Don’t be sad! I took 1 year to draw bearable things to the eye and 3 years to get a good looking Foxy OC, so don’t lose hope ok!’’

13. Number 5 (Reiji) buys a large pet python and they try to talk you into keeping it in your room. How do you respond? i’d say like ‘’...Wow, Reiji... i mean, i knew you didn’t like me and eventually wanted to kill me, but i didn’t know you wanted to do so in such a horrible way... If you don’t want me here just say so, you stupid four-eyed pidgeon!’’ and then i’d get rlly mad and lock myself in my room till i got calmer...

14. You go on a Ferris wheel with number 6 (Ruki) but when you reach the top, it stops moving and stays still for a long time. There seems to be some kind of fault, which means you’re trapped with number 6 till someone can get it working again. What do you do? I guess we’d stay in a rlly akward silence and i’d try not to make eye contact with him until he gets annoyed by it and maybe we start having a normal conversation? I hope it would turn out like this, srsly

15. Number 2 (Subaru) proposes you play a game of twister. Regardless of whether you want to or not, you get dragged into it. As you’re playing, you notice number 2 seems to be touching you a lot more than necessary. Do you call them out on it, or take some other course of action? I guess I’d point it out like ‘’oooh, so you wanted to play with me just so you could freely touch me, ya punk? Who d’ya think you are?!’’ just to see his tsundere reaction and enjoy how cute it’d be haha (srry, I’m S, i can’t control it)

16. You’re getting changed in your room when you suddenly hear a noise from your wardrobe. You open the wardrobe to find number 3 (Shin) standing in it. How do you react? ‘’...Wtf??’’

17. Number 1 (Ayato) manages to accidentally handcuff themselves to you. They don’t have a key and for some reason, no matter what either of you do, you can’t seem to get them off. What are you going to do? ‘’Accidentally’’, yeah right! Me knowing Ayato, that’d probably be on purpose and he wouldn’t quit unless it was troublesome, so i’d do my best to piss him off and make him find the key. I mean, unless he wants to spend an afternoon with tantrum Kanato, I’d suggest he found it the quicker he could

18. Number 10 (Azusa) presents you with a bouquet of roses and declares that they have feelings for you. How do you react? Oooh man... I’d be so heartbroken to have to turn him down since I love Ayato... but of course, i’d do it gently and explain to him as calmly as i could, choosing well my words, but i’d feel guilty after... aaah, srry Azusa!

19. You go swimming with number 8 (Kou). You’re having a great time until they pull you aside and tell you that they’ve somehow lost their swimwear. Are you going to help them and if so how? I’d say ‘’how tf did you lose it, srsly?’’ but after i’d help him find it and if we couldn’t, i’d go and buy him a new one

20. Number 5 (Reiji) wrote a love letter to you and slipped it into what they believed to be your locker, however the locker actually belongs to number 8 (Kou) and they didn’t bother writing your name on the letter. How does number 8 react when they find it? Ohoho, I don’t even want to think what it’d be like... it’d end up badly for sure, but still be funny

21. Number 7 (Yuma) gets very very drunk and tries to give number 3 (Shin) a strip tease. What happens? Shin would be sooo pissed haha and i would laugh and cringe (laugh cuz it’d be funny and cringe cuz i don’t like yaoi, just by imagining it i get nauseated)

22. Number 6 (Ruki) and number 2 (Subaru) get into a rap battle and they want you to be the judge. Who do you think is going to win and why? Idk! I don’t have such a great imagination for things like this... i’d have to see it happen to have a conclusion (srry)

23. Number 1 (Ayato) accidentally ruins number 9’s (Shuu) most prized possession and begs for your help in covering it up. What do you do? That is just so predictable, Ayato ruining things haha! I guess Shuu’s most prized possession is his violin? We wouldn’t be able to cover it up, I think he’d find out and we’d be DEAD

24. You wake up in between number 4 (Carla) and number 10 (Azusa) with absolutely no memory of how you got there. Do you have any idea about what might have occurred and what are you going to do now? ...I’d have no idea of what happened, but i’d scream and think the worse scenarios... probably kill myself if they didn’t explain it either

25. You go on a camping trip with number 9 (Shuu), number 6 (Ruki) and number 3 (Shin). What sort of stuff do the four of you do together? Haha, i thin they’d be fighting and nagging about everything the other does and i’d find it funny till it begins to annoy me and shout “STOP FIGHTING, GODDAMNIT!”

26. Number 9 (Shuu) and number 4 (Carla) have somehow swapped bodies. How do they react and are you going to try to help them get back to normal? I think Shuu wouldn’t care so much apart from the Endzeit and i bet Carla would be outraged haha it’d be funny, but i’d ask if Reiji or Ruki could help in some way

27. You’re playing a game of Monopoly with number 5 (Reiji), number 7 (Yuma), and number 10 (Azusa). Who wins and who goes bankrupt and storms off in a rage? Reiji wins of course, the rest goes bankrupt and Idk if Yuma would rage... i think noone would rage, it’s just a game rlly

28. You go on a hike with number 8 (Kou) and number 2 (Subaru). Number 8 is in charge of the map and they manage to get you completely lost in the middle of nowhere. What are you going to do? It’s a possible scenario haha, I bet Subaru would get pissed and they start fighting, but i’d say ‘’calm down for a second and listen!’’ and i’d suggest we rest for a bit and try to find ourselves the right way by analyzing the map well and then keep going once we’re sure of the way

29. Number 1 (Ayato) has given up on learning the trumpet and has taken up the banjo instead. They write a song and play it for you but it sounds beyond terrible. How do you react? He’d be angry if i got honest and said it wasn’t... ideal, but to keep practicing so he could be the best!

30. Number 1 (Ayato) and number 2 (Subaru) get in a fight over you. Number 2 manages to win and asks you for your hand in marriage. How do you respond? Aaah why do you have to divide me like that?? I mean, it wouldn’t be bad to marry Succhan, but my #1 is Ayato! But if he liked me for who I am and not bcz i’m food, i’d have no problem on accepting it

I tag: @shadyraisincookie @soranokiku @tabooneko and @firstbloodkingdl 

[alex-guerin]

Okay, so...back on New Years Eve, I hung out with a friend most of the night, we went to Lincolnshire to see the final performance of “NEWSIES” and then I dropped her back off at her car and went over to Jason’s with ten minutes to spare before midnight. It was the first time in a long time he’d been able to stay up until midnight on NYE. His mom was there, I got to meet her, all great, cool, terrific. Next weekend I ended up at his house again, she was still there, got to hang with his entire family, including his kids, and the next morning before I left I asked his mom if I could add her to my Facebook friends. Y’know, in case I needed someone to talk to about him and everything and didn’t know where else to turn. 

Long story short, she and I are FB friends and chat occasionally. Yes, our favorite subject to talk about happens to be her son lol! 

Thursday afternoon Jason sent me a text that pretty much deserved an explanation and I never got one out of him. I went to bed upset, didn’t hardly sleep, woke up frustrated and exhausted and made a post on FB about how sending me a text 20 minutes before I’m supposed to fall asleep and not giving any explanation when asked about it is a shit move, now I felt like crap, thanks for that, and then went to work. His mom saw it and commented on it, told me to just keep holding on, take things one day at a time, things would be okay. Well, after work I posted again, saying how I really wanted to just say “fuck it” and try to get him to have the Conversation I’d been wanting to have with him in person, via text after all (he had to call off work yesterday because 1: his stomach was upset; and 2: Uber double charged him the day before so now his card was all fucked up and he wasn’t able to get a ride into work. ...I told him next time that happens, call work and tell them you’re gonna be late, but you’ll be there and I will go pick his ass up. 4:30 am traffic, it’d take me 10 minutes to get to his house! I know it would, cuz it takes just about 15 minutes to get there from work during mid-morning traffic. I’ve done it. I’ve timed it). I debated for a while about whether I should leave the post open for his mom to see or not, and finally decided I would. I hadn’t listed any names, but I knew she’d know I was talking about him just the same. 

At 2:35 my phone buzzed at me. It wasn’t my usual text message, prolonged buzz, it was the quick, double buzz it does when my FB messenger gets a message. I was trying to figure out how to answer a text to Jason, looked down and saw his mom’s picture in the corner of my phone and panicked all the more. She’d seen my post, I already knew that’s why she was texting me. I cautiously opened her message and saw this: “Alyssa, please do not get hurt. I just read your post. Just be yourself and put it in God’s hands. He is a complicated man, extremely difficult to figure out. In the past he has had his heart broken so many times so he has literally put up a shield and hardened his heart. Just wanted you to know some things about his past. And as you can tell his relationship with [The Ex] is difficult on everyone.” I admitted to her that I hadn’t been sure whether I should make that post visible to her or not, but that I was glad I had decided to and that she messaged me. I told her how I’d been thinking of messaging her to ask about him, but I wasn’t even sure what I’d say or anything (I didn’t tell her that I’d had more than a few people tell me, “WHAT!? Don’t message his MOM! Dude! That’s just weird! Creeper! Seriously! Don’t message her!”). She told me I could call or text her anytime. She may not have all the answers, but she does know her son. 

She and I texted back and forth for HOURS! Literally! HOURS! I don’t think you understand...HOOOOOOOOOOURS!  From 2:35pm until 9pm! All about him, and me, and me and him. She confirmed soooooo many things that I had only assumed or suspected, and said so many things that explained why he is the way he is right now. I told her that Jason had told me that The Ex had left and taken the kids, but he didn’t say anything more than that, and I didn’t want to cause him any pain by asking why she’d left...so I asked if she’d be willing to tell me. And Oh. My. God. If I ever meet his ex, I swear to God, I will make her regret EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!!! His mom explained to me how their marriage went down the hole because of this habitually lying bitch! All the things this woman did to him! I was SOBBING as I read her message! She also said how anytime Jason brings up divorce (because he wants one), this bitch changes the subject! This bitch HAS A BOYFRIEND! But she still keeps sending Jason mixed messages and stringing him along, and using their kids as pawns. She calls demanding something and Jason has to jump through hoops in order to see his kids. She wants something, she’ll tell Jason the kids “need” something, and he’ll just hand the cash over. I just...I cannot believe this bitch. 

Because of this bitch (I refuse to call her “this woman” because no. She’s a bitch and that’s what I’m calling her), Jason’s confidence is shot. He doesn’t like himself anymore (so his mom says, and I can see that at times). She literally drove him to drinking and drugs. He never use to do either until their problems started and he felt his marriage falling apart around him. I told his mom that I do my very best, and I try very hard, to remind him that he’s a great a guy, that he’s my hero and My Superman, and that he’s the hardest working guy back in our department -- that so many people are lost when he’s not there. I’ve unwittingly been trying to build his confidence back up. She told me that his life is literally a wreck right now. That he’s an emotional rollercoaster because of his day-to-day life at the moment; he’ll be at the top of the world one minute, being the boy she remembers, and then in the blink of an eye it’s all gone again. 

I’m not giving up on him. I told his mom this. I REFUSE to be another person who abandons him. His dad walked out when he was a kid -- leaving his mom to raise him and his brother alone -- I don’t know what happened in Jason’s past relationships, if he ended them or the girls did, but he’s been hurt before because of them, and then the woman he married -- who supposedly loved him enough to marry him -- up and leaves and takes his children with her. No. He’s had too many people abandon him in his life. I’m not going to do it. He stole my heart back in August when I got him to laugh and smile at me. And he’s stolen it over and over again every day since then. I dunno if I woke up remembering the end of a dream, or if this vivid thought was seriously the first thing that popped into my head this morning, but it was me and him sitting in my car in his driveway, talking about things. I took his hand and put it over my heart and told him, “This is yours. It’s been yours for a while now. It’s gonna stay yours, whenever you’re ready to trust yourself again, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” I was laying in bed and I could literally feel the pressure and warmth of a hand over my heart, even though there wasn’t one.

I’ve had so many people tell me the last couple of days that I need to just give up and move on. That he’s not worth the tears and upsets he keeps causing me. Well, now that I know why he does the things he does a bit better, hopefully I can remind myself of those things anytime my insecurities and anxieties start flaring up. His mom told me if I thought he was worth it, then to be patient with him and to get him to talk. Well, I generally do a fairly good job at getting him to talk to me. Not verbally cuz me and him both have trouble being verbal, but text wise, yeah. I can get him to open up through written words more times than not. His mom said right now what he needs (and all that he can truly offer) is a good friend who makes him laugh, flirt, and is there acting crazy and fun. Well, she already told me I’m such a good friend to him, I swore months ago -- before me and him even started texting -- that it was my goal to make him laugh every day, we definitely have the flirting thing down (somedays to an extreme......O.O oh yeah, forgot to mention, Wednesday I stayed after to help him with shipment day, me and him were alone in the freezer together, I told him to meet me down in the ice cream room cuz, well, i was gonna be inappropriate and let him cop a feel. He met me down there, hopped off his forklift, pulled his skimask down to uncover his mouth, took half a step towards me with his hands outstretched to take hold of my hips and pull me in...and yeah, I blew it! My brain was screaming for me to shut up, he was gonna pull me in for a kiss, but my mouth was already going, “Close your eyes...” I texted him once I got out to my car, asking if I seriously just missed my chance to make out with him in the ice cream room. He answered back “Yup”. The only times he’s ever kissed me have been while he’s drunk or high or both. He wasn’t either on Wednesday. I was gonna get to make out with a sober Jason, during work, and I blew it!!! ...yes yes, it’s for the best, but DAMN!!! I am STILL kicking myself for that!!!!! *HEAD DESK!*), and I’m definitely crazy and fun! I challenge him to video game battles! I recently challenged him to a snowball fight once we get snowball fight grade snowfall, and he agreed to the snowball fight! So, I mean, I’ve been doing all the things his mom says he needs and I’ve been doing them since before she said anything! 

I’m not a religious person by any means, but I have been praying, every day. Praying that Jason finds the courage to overcome his fears and take a chance with me; that his heart heals so that he’s willing to open it up to me more than he has already; praying that I’m able to have this and him; that I want to be there for him and his kids. This morning I woke up calm and sure and with a very strong sense of “No.” coursing through me. I’m not giving up on him. I’m not abandoning him. He’s my boy, he’s my guy, he’s my hero and I’m gonna fight for him. I’m gonna be the friend he needs, and I’m gonna continue to try and build his confidence back up. And maybe, hopefully, when he’s ready to try again...he’ll realize that I stuck with him through all the ups, downs, twists, turns, and loops of his emotional rollercoaster ride. I asked him once before, back in October, if he was ready for another shot at a relationship, would I even stand a chance with him? His answer was “Of course”. He’s remembered other things I told him back in October that I had forgotten I told him, so here’s hoping when the time comes, he remembers that too.