#this time it's healthy don't worry

[miniscule-meow]

Charlie and Felix: About as Well as Expected

Masterpost

Word Count: ~1.6k

Warnings: Minimal Real G/t, Swears

First Part | Last Part | Next Part

Felix steps into the classroom, catching Charlie’s eye. In that unspoken second, they both know that the other knows. Felix knows Charlie spoke to her brothers and he can surmise that she was probably told to stay away from him. Charlie knows that Felix figured out who her family was.

To her credit, Charlie smiles at him. Well, she tries to at least, it turns out closer to a polite grimace. Seeing that look on her face causes his heart to snag, to which he furrows his brow in response. None of this should affect him, she’s just some mundane. He really shouldn’t care about what she thinks of him. She can think he’s a monster, plenty of people do. It doesn’t matter. He brushes past her, going to sit in his normal spot towards the back of the room. If anything, he should be relieved that she won’t be pestering him anymore. He’ll just have to think of something to tell his coordinator. ‘Things didn’t really work out, but I’m making an effort to be more friendly with other mundanes here.’ Something like that should work.

It is, of course, right after he makes this decision that their professor assigns another group project. This time, as promised, they are allowed to choose their own partners.

Felix sees Charlie tense in her seat. Their other classmates are already moving around, pairing up with one another. This would be a good opportunity for him to meet someone new. This class is big enough, it’s likely that there’s someone in here that hasn’t heard the gossip about him.  Honestly, most people at this college probably don’t know who or what he is, and even if they do know, they don’t really care. It’s just that the few that do know and care seem to be obnoxiously loud about it. He’s about to go and try his luck with some random classmate, when Charlie turns around. Their eyes meet again. She looks hesitant. Before he can think about how it’s a bad idea, he rises, striding over and taking the seat next to her.

“Beauregard,” He greets her, a quiet confirmation of what they already know.

“Hey,” she says, more reserved than she’s previously been. She busies herself with getting out her computer and her notebook.

“You know, I thought that with being the social butterfly that you are, you would have a line of people wanting to partner with you,” At this, she actually does grimace, mumbling something about not really being all that social. “Well, at any rate, you fine being stuck with me again?”

“Um. Yeah. Yeah, that’s… fine.” Her words are terse, she seems to be as uncomfortable as she is relieved that he’s here, talking to her.

“We can try it out your way this time,” he offers, keeping his tone light. “Go to lunch after this, and work on the project together?”

“Are you sorry?” She asks suddenly, her voice low, her eyes flicking to meet his, then darting away.

“No,” he says, after a brief moment of consideration. “Why should I be?”

“I mean, about my brothers?” She clarifies, just in case he didn’t know what she was talking about. He knew what she meant, and his answer is the same. No. He is not sorry, and he doesn’t regret it. So what if some of the etiquette was missing? The end result was the same as it would have been if he had challenged her brother to a proper duel. That fight is what finally made people take him seriously. He looks at her for a moment, knowing that she wants him to say yes and apologize. Instead, he just shrugs.

“No. I’m not sorry.”

“You- but you almost killed Mars,” he leans in, hissing the words in a hushed whisper.

“That’s a bit dramatic for what actually happened,” he says, resisting the urge to scratch at the scar on his right hand, a souvenir from the fight.

“He was down for months,” her expression slowly turning horrified as his lack of remorse colors the picture of him that her brothers put in her head. It doesn’t matter. He reminds himself

“That’s just- supers do that, okay?” He says, keeping his voice low. He doesn’t feel like he needs to explain himself to her, but he keeps talking anyway. “You fight, and you win. Or you don’t. I respect your brother, he’s strong as hell,” he admits easily, despite it being the first time that he’s said that out loud to anyone. “It was a good fight, I’m not sorry for winning.” He continues when she just stares at him, “I almost didn’t win. I might not get so lucky if I ever had to fight him again, which I don’t want to do, by the way.” Still, Charlie doesn’t break her silence. She just looks at him. Her hazel eyes aren’t holding accusations, but she looks at him with some kind of concern and a sadness that he doesn't know her well enough to discern any real meaning from. “Alright. Can you not look at me like that?” She tears her eyes away from him, frowning down at the desk instead. “What? Did you want me to lie?” He can’t stop the bitter edge from cutting into his tone.

Charlie stays quiet, rigidly still, just staring down at the desk in front of her. When she finally speaks again, her voice is quiet, and hollow, “Are you sure you’re not just talking to me, because it’ll piss off my brothers? Because I really don’t want to be in the middle of… all that.”

“It really feels like you think that I’m thinking about your brothers way more than I actually am. I’m not scheming, Charlie. I just want to hang out, get lunch, be friends, whatever. Believe it or not, I’m surprisingly capable of doing normal people shit.”

“Irregardless. My—”

“That’s not a word,” he says, scrunching his face.

“What?” She says, her momentum jolted enough that she finally brings her eyes to his again. The renewed eye contact gives him a warm victorious feeling inside.

“‘Irregardless,’ not a word.”

“That’s- yes it is. It just means the same thing as ‘regardless.’”

“Then why not use the word that’s actually a real word?” He asks, quirking his brow, a smirk pulling across his lips.

“I—” he chuckles as she makes an incredulous noise, flamed that he would nitpick her vocabulary in the middle of what she believes to be a serious conversation. “Either way,” she says, pointedly choosing a different phrase entirely, “my brother told me to stay away from you.”

“Which one?” He asks, unsurprised.

“Does it matter?”

“I’m just curious.”

“Jeremey,” she answers with a huff, Felix hums in response.

“Do you always let your brother tell you what to do?” His tone remains light and teasing.

“When I think he’s right,” she says, looking away from him.

This stops him. Any mirth from before drains from his eyes. His gaze hardening suddenly, he huffs a short laugh, but there’s no humor in it.

“I just- I know you hate, like, my whole family. Why would I be any different? I don’t want you to use me to hurt them, okay?”

“Do you really—” he bites back whatever retort he was going to say, a muscle tensing in his cheek at he grits his teeth. He shakes his head, cooling off some of his indignation.

He doesn’t owe her anything. He doesn’t need to defend himself. If she wants to imagine that he’s horrible and simply here to hurt everyone around him, that’s up to her.

Everyone wants everything to be his fault, and he’s so tired of it. He’s not perfect, but he’s valid in this. Her brother is fine. Everything is fine. It’s ridiculous that he’s even here at this school, when he hasn’t really done anything more than being better at using his ability than other supers. It isn’t fair.

 Fucking mundanes.

Fucking Beauregards.

Fuck.

“Okay,” he says, his tone clipped and detached, despite the emotion quickly welling inside of him. “No to lunch then. I’ll take the first half of the questions this time, send me the doc whenever.” With that, he taps the desk and heads out of the classroom.

His thoughts are jumbled, his rage boiling inside of him. 'When I think he's right,' she said. He can only imagine the sort of things Jeremey would say about him, about how dangerous he is. Painting him to be some sort of terrible monstrosity. And she believed him.

Like he would ever go and hurt some defenseless mundane. He's been there, it sucked. Before he snapped into his ability, he lost every fight that came his way. And the fights never stopped coming his way. Everyone was so power hungry, hurting those weaker than them, just because they could. And if they weren't doing that, they sure as hell weren't doing anything to stop it.

But suddenly, when he's able to stand up for himself, he's the problem. He's the dangerous one.

Sure.

His emotions stoke the power inside of him, he feels it swell. The pressure builds, emanating out from what feels like the center of his bones. It tingles beneath the surface of his skin until his hands feel like they’re burning with pins and needles. It isn’t painful, but it’s not something that’s easy to ignore. His limbs ache with the desire to stretch out, and even though he steps out of the building into the bright afternoon, he begins to feel the creeping sensation of claustrophobia. Though, the only thing containing him is himself.

Replaying their conversation over in his mind, it honestly went about as well as he expected. He stomps his way to the clearing to go blow off some steam.

[naamahdarling]

.

[ancha-aus]

Gifted Drabble - NewAgeAU - Life Finds a Way

Pppst @spotaus you ready? :3

For those people who noticed. Spotaus and I have been talking some lore. And I wanted to write a little thing about it! (also i am noticing that all my gifted drabbles to Spotaus about this AU is about Ccino? woops? I will probably eventually do other charactes hahah)

For now? I hope you like this Spotaus :D No beta or edits :D

Warnings: Child abuse, mentally and emotionally. implied harrassment but nothing actually happens. Forced child labor. Very unhealthy eating habits and forced dangerous dieting. fat-shaming. suicidal thoughts (not a lot and not too specific but it is there). Gaslighting and manipulation. (reminder for everyone. Ccino is SEVEN in this.)

Please let me know if you spot anything else i need to warn people about okay? But i think i got it all.

*--------------------------------------*

Sera turns to him and looks unimpressed "well? Hold the three trays."

Ccino looks nervously at the very large plates filled with cups. All wooden now but they are heavy. Ccino carefully picks one up and can't quite balance it in one hand. Much less hold it with one arm. The plate wiht cups falls to the ground wiht a loud clatter and he flinches at the sound.

Sera sighs loudly as she shakes her head "another disappointment. I keep telling you you only have this week to learn. yet you seem set on not learning at all!" she snaps.

Ccino looks down and mutters "I... i am trying... i am sorry. i just..." he is still so sad... he has been here a week now and just wants to roll up a cry. but everyone keeps telling him he only has a week to practise and then he needs to work with everyone else.

He still doesn't understand the castle and where everything is. Much less every servant pathway.

The rules are confusing and sometime she doens't quite understand the accents people use or the words they say.

Sera glares and raises her hand. Ccino pulls his head back and closes his sockets.

Nothing happens. He sneaks a look and sees Nim staring Sera down.

Sera falls to her knees and bows deeply "My king. I apologise. The child is stupid and can't learn."

Nim just sighs as she rubs her forehead "I thought i was clear. He has a purpose. For this purpose he is required to learn and not have marks." she looks at Sera before turning her attention to him and the mess on the ground.

Ccino looks down himself as he feels the tears return. Anytime he sees her all he can think about is the fire. all he can think about is his parents trying to reach him. the locked door. the fire. the screams. he had been able to smell it in the carriage and-

"I see you still make messes." the disapointment is so obvious.

Ccino tugs on the shirt he had been gifted. His clothes that his parents had given him had been taken as soon as he got there. After his forced bath. something about cleaning off the dirt from his old life. the grey uniform had been left instead.

Though Ccino can't help but notice that his clothes are slightly different from other servants. There are tiny motives of apples and branches around the edges and seams. tiny details. Ccino figured it was because of his status as trainee but... well.. why special outfits when he only is suposed to train for a week? why make all his stuff have those?

Nim sighs loudly and Ccino pushes the tears away as he holds his shirt tighter.

"I will remind you. I expect perfection. I don't have use for unworthy people." some movement "And i expect you to train him well. There is a lot counting on this.".

a moment of silence and the king is gone.

Sera gets off the ground and glares at him. Ccino shivers as he waits. Sera huffs "pick up the tray and the cups. set it up again and get it ready. You failing will also look poorly on me. Get. To. Work."

Ccino nods and kneels down to get the tray and start moving one heavy cup at the time back on top of it.

until he ends with three filled trays again. And he tries to carry all three of them. again.

It drops a few more times but he ends up managing to balance one on his arm. Even if it is really heavy and his arm starts to ache.

Sera nods "Good. Now hold the other two trays with both your hands."

Ccino stares at her. is... is she serious? how... how is he suposed to? That is so heavy! His arm is already shaking. Sera just stares at him and looks at the trays "Well?! You udnerstand that right?!"

Ccino nods and slowly takes one of the trays. it woobles as he transfers it to his arm already carrying the tray. it is so heavy.... he manages to grab the third one and has to concentrate on not dropping anything or letting it fall over.

Sera sighs "finally managed to get you to do this stupid trick. it isn't even that hard. Now. Walk to the other side of the room and put all three down on the other table. No. Dropping."

Ccino glances over. it is so far... He takes a shaking step and all the trays start to tilt and he has to stop and correct them all. He looks unsure at Sera but she just points at the table and taps her foot.

He misses his mom. His mom would hug him and tell him it was okay when he dropped something. that they would clean it up together and next time ccino had to test before trying to lift something.

He takes a few steps and has to stop again. the trays barely don't fall and his arms hurt. The trays are just so heavy. Sera lets out another annoyed sigh and Ccino takes another few steps.

It takes long but he manages to make it to the other side. he puts the trays down and looks back.

Sera sighs as she shakes his head "You are much too slow and clumsy. you will never make it anywhere fast enough even if you use the tunnels. this is such a waste of time and you are clearly not the right pick. But. the king thinks you are the right pick! So we will just have to waste a lot of time on you." she glances at him and looks annoyed "and stop your annoying crying. you are acting like a child! You are gettnig the honour of working under the greatest king to have ever lived and work towards a glorious future! And you are thankless!"

Ccino sobs and rubs his sockets. his arms ache. he is so tired. he just wants to be home and hug his dad. his dad always makes the hurt and scared feelings go away. his dad's hugs were magical like that. his dad would always tell him the magic behind his hugs was love and so they worked best for ccino and ccino's mom because dad loved them both so much. Ccino wants him back.

Sera sighs "okay. once again. How do you get from the kitchen to the warroom?"

Ccino stares at the ground and mutters "i.. euh... i would."

Sera groans "speak up! If someone asks you to speak you speak up and proudly. No stammering. We have more important things to do than wait for you to figure out how to say a basic sentence."

Ccino flinches and nods as he tugs on his shirt. "To... get to teh warroom... f-from the kitchen.. you need to exit and go by the servant rooms. then past the storage. you get to the hall... then go up and up. then the..." was it east or west?! "west wing... then up again. and there should be a... red door. there is the warroom..." right?

Sera sighs loudly "we don't call it the servant rooms. we call it the servant quarters. Aside from that we don't call it going up and up. We call it going to the second floor." she shakes her head.

Ccino looks down and feels frustrated. but he was right! The directions were right! What does it matter what he calls things. some words are hard to say and he never used them before! it is just to know his way around right? why does it matter what he calls things in his head?

Sera walks towards the door "come. we will go to the kitchen so you can practise cooking again." she looks abck annoyed "and don't burn yourself again. YOu are suposed to be markless. perfect. act like it." and she leaves.

Ccino follows after the other. He wishes he was in bed and could just sleep.

they get to the kitchen and Sera looks at him "We will try an easy recipe because you are just useless. Start with a fritatta. Even you should be able to make that." and she waits.

Ccino stares at her. what is a fritatta? He glances around but there are no ingredients out already and there is no paper with the recipe on it. what... what?

Sera looks annoyed "it was in the book you were given to study at night."

Ccino looks down. When he got here and dropped off in his room after the forced bath there were a bunch of books. like ten and tehy were thick. all about manners and chores and how to act and who was who. He... he thinks there may have been a cooking book somewhere in there?

Ccino speaks up "i can... get it?" maybe then he can cook this weird fritatta thing?

Sera sighs loudly "and be fast."

Ccino rushes out of the kitchen and back to the servant quarters before running past the door leading there. He still isn't sure why he has a private room but at least this way people don't hear him cry at night. He gets there and searches between the books. eventually finding an old book and-

Why... why can't he read this?! It is all another language?! He opens it and looks for anything he can read but it is all just... weird! how... how can he? how is he suposed to read this?!

He still picks up the book and brings it to the kitchen. Sera looks at him expectingly "Well?"

Ccino looks down "i can't read this..."

Sera sighs loudly "Of course you can't do soemthign as basic as reading. you are an uncultered idiot. Honestly what did you do before? just play in the mud?"

Ccino feels close to tears as he remembers helpign his mother in the store with counting out change and helping refilling shelves. Helping her do the dishes as she teaches him how to make bread and deserts. "i can read... i just can't read this... this language..."

Sera frowns "You don't know french?! how can you be seven already and not even know french as well?! honestly the education is going downwards so quickly." she sighs and shakes her head "i supose i will just have to assist you again and get you a translated version. very well. For the meal you are about to make you will need the following. and pay attention because i don't like repeating myself."

Ccino rushes over as he tries to get the ingredients as quickly as possible. He just hopes he doesn't burn himself on the pan this time.

----

Ccino pants as he leans against the wall. He thought the first week was hard. It was much harder now. He kept getting orders that he needed to complete. bringing things around. helping making things. serving things to people.

It is all so hard and everyone just stares at him disappointed all the time. He wants to cry.

but crying isn't allowed. they were clear on that. if he cries he will just be locked in a dark room.

Something about them not being allowed to punish him the normal way. so they have to be creative. He doesn't like the dark closet. It is dark and always cold and he is so alone. No one talks to him when he is in there. he doens't hear anyone when he is in there.

He doens't even know what he does to get locked up in there. They never say what he does wrong. They just say he deserved it... is... is he a bad kid? is he being bad? mom and dad always siad he was good and they loved him... how come he is suddenly bad? he is trying. he is really trying!

He just wants to sleep and cry. but he is still in his shift and needs to work...

He gets to the kitchen as his arms ache. the cook looks up and waits. Ccino finds his voice and manages to not make it clear he is close to crying again "i delivered the food."

the cook, he never introduced himself, huffs "you better not have messed up my presentation again!" and he turns abck to the stove.

Ccino nods nad walks over to the chores board. it is magical... probably. ccino doesn't know how it works. just knows it shows what he needs to do. soemthing about the ehad of the house deciding who does what and when. He looks for his name at the very bottom and stares in shock. There is a demand for him to go to the throne room!! For a long time now!! Why did no one tell him?!

He rushes out of the kitchen and dives into the hallway to the servant quarters. he stops between the doors to the washing chambers and the dressing room and opens a panel to show a pathway. it is one of the many servant corridors that linger the castle. it makes it easier to get to places quickly. this one should lead towards the big entrance near the throne room.

He runs down the path. jumping over spare uniforms and discarded items and tools as he rushes.

He checks to make sure no one is watching before fully exiting. he rushes to the throne room and takes the servant entrance to it.

No one is there. Aside from Nim on her throne. She is drinking out of a fancy wine glass with wine that is probably more expensive than anything Ccino used to own put together. He glances around but sees no one else... euh....

Ccino doesn't remember a specific message about why he needed to be there. just that he needed to go there...

Ccino walks into the area and bows deeply "my king." even the title leaves a bad taste in his mouth. He hates the king. he HATES her with every spec of his being. but he can't do anything.

Nim hums as she looksup from the wine "you are slow. but you are a child and only have short legs. I expect you to get better with time. If i don't see improvements I will have to look for your replacement."

Ccino nods before answering "of course my king." please let him leave. please let that have been it. please-

Nim stnads up "but. I called you here for a reason. Follow me." and she turns before walking towards the exit.

Ccino wants to cry. he doesn't want to be near her! He doesn't want to follow her!

He follows her.

People stop and bow at Nim before shooting him glances. As they walk past Ccino can hear them start muttering things. something about it becomign official.

What... what is becomign official?

Nim leads him towards a whole otehr wing and up a set off stairs. very deep into the castle. Ccino hasn't been here before. just saw the pathways on the map he was given when he first got here two months ago. one he was told to memorise.

They stop by a door and Nim opens the door.

It is a child's room?

Nim walks over and Ccino sees two cribs. One with a very detailed moon and one with a very detailed sun. There are healers in the room who are keeping a close eye on the two babies and some maids filter about. nurse maids?

Nim walks over to the crib with the sun and picks up one of the babies- that is a skeleton. a baby skeleton?

Nim waves him over nad Ccino follows the wordless comment.

Nim starts to speak "This. Is Dream. He is my heir and will become your king in thirdteen years." she kisses his little skull before pointing towards the other crib "That. is Nightmare. He will be Dream's...." she smirks "He will help Dream rise to his rightful position of king."

Ccino looks at the two babies before back at Nim. Not sure what she wants from him.

Nim doens't take issue with him being quiet as she just keeps talking "your purpose and main job. is to do whatever it takes to get both of them to the right age of thirdteen. Their schooling and training will be arranged by others. But you will be their main caretaker. You will feed them. bath them. Make sure they are rested. You will be there for whatever they need." she looks at him. "understood?"

Ccino isn't sure how good he is at taking care of babies?! It does explain the child book that was in the pile. He nods and bows "of course my king."

Nim nods and turns back to look... almost lovingl at Dream "When they time comes. when Dream becomes king. You will be his."

Ccino freezes. What?

Nim continues to speak "You will do whatever he wishes. YOu will be his first mate and by whatever he wants."

Ccino feels his throat locks up before he wheezes out "But! He will be thirdteen my king! I would be twenty!" that is weird. that is gross. and is disgusting?!

Nim chuckles and looks amused "There will be ritual. Which will make it able for dream to go from a weak child to who he was always meant to be. a powerful being rivalling the very gods." she kisses the little skull of the sleeping baby. She grins at him "I myself went from age fourteen to twenty four in one moment. body, mind and soul all immediantly to that stage. Not a single lingering emotion of feeling from childhood. The ability to leave childhood behind with just one single ritual. It is wonderful."

Ccino disagrees. He doesn't want to marry Dream?! Dream is a baby? One he is suposed to raise? It would be weird! It would be like him marrying his old babysitter? and she was nice but she was also really different?

Nim puts Dream back in the crib "You will be allowed entrance and the maids will continue to feed both the twins. Your focus will be on Dream. Dream needs the most attention and care. But make sure Nightmare is healthy." she leaves him frozen in place "You are dismissed."

Ccino stands there as he watcehs the healers and nurse maids go about their work. After they finish they leave the twins in their cribs and leave.

Ccino shakes as he looks at the two children. the two baby skeletons. One, nightmare, yawns and opens the sockets. He looks at him curiously before babbling and holding out a tiny hand to him. him being awake seems to wake Dream as well as the other twin does the exact same thing as Nightmare.

Twins.

Ccino holds out both his hands and lets the two tiny babies hold his fingers. watching the two babble and tug on his hands happily as he feels his world falling apart even further.

----

One of the few things he kinda likes here is the food. It is always delicious and rich of everything.

Even the servants eat well!

Ccino sits in his seat as food is served.

One of the few things he kinda likes is having dinner with the other servants. Sure they all shoot him looks and mutter about favouritism but at these moments no one really seems to care!

They hand out food. talk about some light gossip. Talk about which nobelman or woman and shooting them considering looks.

Ccino likes it. it almost feels less like a prison like this. And he feels abit more connected with the others.

His private room is nice but well... it shows how much he is singled out. How he has a different main job than the other people. How from the start his job was different.

Everyone knows it.

It is what the apples stand for apparently.

That you are owned by the king. or future king in his case.

He heard some coucil people talk about how much of a shame it was that he was offlimits.

Which Ccino really doens't want to think about.

But! the food!

He feels his magic yearn for the deliciousness. It looks like some slowly cooked meat with a lot of potatoes and vegetables!

Oh it is going to be so good and he will sleep well tonight!

A plate is set down before him and he grabs his fork and knife. Waiting until everyone is served and-

His plates gets taken away!?

He looks around with a glare but it melts away as he spots Nim! He looks down immediantly "my king?"

Everyone is quiet and waits.

Nim looks at the meal with a huff before pulling him upright. Ccino stands before the king and waits.

Nim huffs and she pokes his stomach "You really going to eat even more? When you already have fat building?"

Ccino is confused. Skeletons don't get fat? It is just how magic is stored? Ccino knows he has the same way of magical storage as his mom has... had. She was short and a bit wider than most monsters. But his dad always said she was the most beautiful monster so obviously she was? and dad always said he knew that ccino would be like her and ccino had been excited? because he would be pretty like his mom?

Nim shakes her head "a glutton. That is a habit we will need to cut off right away."

Ccino looks unsure at the plate that she just. throws out. wait?! But his dinner?!

Nim nods to herself as she looks at him "Your eating habits will be monitored. You are still growing and so it is most important you have the correct diet." And she leaves.

What... what just happened? where is his dinner... He looks confused at the others but no one is looking at him. They eat as if there is nothing strange going on and his dinner wasn't just thrown away.

He moves to get a bit of the leftovers. They are always allowed to grab those. But as he moves to get a few of the leftover potatoes a hand pulls him away from the food.

Ccino looks confused up at Sera "but... I didn't get food? I didn't get dinner?"

Sera looks unamused "Oh you can't be that much of an idiot. The king wants you thin. thin and pretty. Not fat and ugly. So you are going on a very special diet. You will know what you are allowed to eat." she points to the door.

Ccino looks wishfully at the wodnerful meal before hanging his skull and moving out of the room. He walks back to his own room and opens the door.

Hope blossoms as he sees a plate and he rushes over. Only for his smile to fall.

It is... some cauliflower, zuccini and eggs.

It isn't bad? It is okay he thinks? He takes his seat and eats his food. It fills okay but he still feels like it was a small portion... But... they seem convinced this is right for him... had he really just been eating a lot? Had he really been a glutton as Nim said he was.

Still he doens't feel that full but it has been a long day and he really jsut wants to sleep.

He lays the plate to the side to clean up before breakfast and gets ready for bed. He lays in his bed and closes his sockets. He will need to be up at 5 am again. Eat his breakfast and check the twins to help build a bond... then he has chores and rushing from place to place again and more time with the twins...

He... He isn't sure what to do... he isn't sure if he can do this... He just wants to go back home...

He wishes he had been with his parents inside the house.

----

He is tired.

He just wants to sleep.

It has been half a year now.

He doens't feel any less sad.

He is so hungry.

Ccino is only allowed one meal a day. in the morning. nothing else aside from water.

It always feels too small and ccino is convinced the portions are getting smaller. Is that really all he needs? It doesn't feel like enough... but aparently he doens't know.

Everyone tells him he doesn't know anything. That he is dumb.

Maybe they are right.

He just wants to cry.

He doesn't want to go back to his room. nobelmen have been hanging around the servants area and they always look at him in ways that make Ccino feel gross.

But he can't just sit here. He is near the warroom. Hiding. People don't usually come here unless they have to get to this room.

Ccino already spend his morning with the twins. He figures he should ahte them but they always look happy to see him and babble and they let him hug them.

He hasn't had a hug since he was taken.

He needs those hugs. Even if the twins don't know how much it means for him.

Ccino sighs as he remains in his little corner. at the moment not caring his shirt will most likely get dirty and messy by doing this. He just doesn't want to be anywhere near the visiting nobelmen and those hands that reach and touch.

He just wants to be left alone. He used to hate being alone but now being alone is better than having others near. Everyone is always mean.

Even if he is fat and stupid he doesn't want others to be mean. He is trying his best. he really is. He knows he isn't enough. He knows he needs to do better. but it is hard! He is trying to learn. He just.

He sniffs.

ccino rubs his sockets nad mutters "no... don't cry... they will hear you and be mad..."

He feels sick. he feels tired. he hasn't felt his magic in a while and he can't even see in the dark anymore. something that every skeleton should be able to do with magic. but he can't.

Again shows he is just not good enough.

a movement in the corner of his sight and he freezes. He sneaks a look and stares.

a... cat?

what is c at doing inside?

A beautiful big cat... one of those very wild cats that his dad used to talk about.. maine coons? Didn't those cats also hunt like... foxes or soemthing?

The cat turns the corner and Ccino rushes after it before speaking in a whisper "oh no kitty... you can't be inside..." Nim had once called all cats vernim and disgusting. something about cats not listening or something. Ccino needs to get the poor cat outside!

He turns the corner and looks around before seeing the cat near an armour set up as decoration.

Ccino inches closer and whispers "No please be careful. those things tend to fall over..." he had been locked in the dark room for hours on end when he knocked one over an accident "lets get you outside okay?" he sniffs as he tries to remove some of his last tears.

The cat looks.. weird? almost shining and... wait... the tail doesn't look like a normal tial but more like... it has tiny branches? huh?

The cat disappears from sight and Ccino gets to the armour. He grins as he looks around it but it falls as he can't see the cat. He looks around and spots that one of the tiles on the wall seems out of place.

Huh... he never noticed that before... He nudges the tile and a part of the wall opens.

It is a crawl space and he barely fits. Maybe the cat went in here?

He mutters softly "here kitty kitty. it is okay... i won't hurt you... i am just trying to get you outside so you aren't hurt by any of the guards." he can't see anything in here but... well.. it is warm and it seems clean.

The door had closed and while inside he can hear others move about their day in the castle.

It is like one of the servant tunnels but not as crowded as the others... Not to forget it isn't filled with dust and dirt and instead very clean and warm. No draft or anything.

Ccino yawns as he rolls up in the tunnel. He had been wanting to sleep after all... maybe a quick nap... that is all.

Something wakes him and Ccino looks around confused.

Is he in the dark room? but it doesn't feel the same... it feels cozy and warm. Like when he would wake up in a tiny blanket fort in the middle of the night.

More sounds and movement of armour and Ccino frowns. armour? moving? guards? was there something about-

The guarding ceremony!! That was in the afternoon and he was suposed to be there! Oh no that is all the way in the hall and it is a nightmare to get there!

He qucikly crawls forwards. Maybe if he gets out he can take another servant path down towards the kitchen and rush to the hall? that is probably the fastest way and- AH!

He suddenly slides down as the tunnel dips. He ends up sliding to a stop right before anotehr tiny door. He pusehs it aside nad steps out from... under the stairs in the main hall?

Huh?

The door slides shut behind him and Ccino looks back confused. How did that tunnel lead... the way he had entered hadn't even pointed in the right direction right? but the tunnel didn't curve like that and-

"Ccino!" a loud hiss.

Ccino looks over and sees someone else motion their head for him to join them. It is Robin!! They are awesome! Ccino rushes to their side and Robin quickly pats him down from any dirt before standing at attention again and handing him a plate for himself.

Ccino stands ready and waits. watching as more guards move into the hall.

He had been on time? somehow?

The guard ceremony goes on as some guards are officially made part of the team to guard the castle. Nim is there in person but just stare at them. With a wave she leaves while the guards all mutter about it being a big honour.

Ccino rushes to join the other servants in bringing around food and snacks for them to eat.

His magic and nonexisting stomach knot together at the sight of food but he ignores it. He is used to these feelings by now.

By the time they get to the end he makes a quick escape to check on the twins again. He notices that they both seem to be bored and spends some extra time playing and hugging them.

Nightmare and Dream both lean against him and babble about their days. probably. Ccino has no idea he doesn't speak baby.

Ccino grins "really? and what did you do then?"

Dream is smiling happily as he throws out his tiny arms and babbles loudly.

Ccino nods "oh so true! You are so right for having done that. And what did your teddy bear do then?"

Dream wiggles from side to side and babbles and blows a raspberry.

Ccino gasps "Oh no he did not."

Dream coos and manages to stick his own foot in his mouth.

Ccino nods and hums "so true buddy. so true." he looks at Nightmare "What did you do little nighty? You stopped any traitorous teddy bear?"

As soon as Ccino speaks to Nightmare he coos and snuggles clsoer. Ccino grins and nuzzles the tiny skull "I see. You had a very busy day. I can only imagine."

He makes sure both the twins drink some of their bottles nad helps them burp gently. After which he puts them both in their cribs and tugs them in "there. all snuggly and ready for bed. You two be good okay?"

the babies are both already asleep.

Ccino hums a happy tune as he leaves the room.

He feels... good? Who knew a good nap would work so well!

He gets back to the servants area and checks his to do list. All clean! which means he can go back to his room and maybe study some of the books he got. try to memorise more and-

Robin stops him "where did you come from in the hall?"

Ccino frowns "one of the pathways? there was one that lead from near the warroom to there?"

Robin frowns "You mean the one that leads the to servants area? You wouldn't have exited in the hall. the hall only has two and none of them are near the stairs?"

huh... but he...

ccino frowns "I... I thought that..." he looks down. He had been so sure? sure it had felt weird but he was sure that was the pathway he took.

Robin's own frown lifts as they smile "hey. No worries. You are stressed and honestly they put way too much pressure on you... Even I can see that and I have only been here a few weeks now!" They grin "Get some rest..." they frown at him "You seem like you need it..." they walk away as they mutter to themselves about him looking pale.

Ccino frowns as he goes back to his room. He lays in his bed and thinks.

No he is SURE he got into that crawlspace... and it lead to the hall. He is very sure about that...

Robin is new... maybe they just haven't discovered all the paths yet?

Ccino lays in bed before having enough. He leaves it and sneaks around the castle. he knows he shouldn't be out this late but he needs to check.

He gets to the hall and goes straight to the stairs. It looks like a normal wall.

He searches for the usual marks that indicate a servant passage but doesn't find any... huh... weird but he... he came from here...

He sighs as he leans against the wall and yelps as it gives way immediantly. laying half in and hald out of the crawl space.

...

Why does he get the feeling he just found something he wasn't suposed to find?

----

After his first secret passageway he spend a lot of time trying other random walls in his free time. He was nearing his one year aniversary but he has found many at this point.

He has paths that lead anywhere he wants to be. Even the stables!

Which. very much impossible seeing as those are a seperate building.

Sure the tunnel he found goes down adn then up a bit before he exits into the storage area of the stables but that still seems like a stretch.

Who makes a secret tunnel underground to lead to the stables from near the library?

The point is. Ccino has a cheat sheet!

It means he can get anywhere impossibly fast with a smile on his face.

Which some found weird but mostly people just sighed and muttered about him finally being able to do the work he is suposed to. Nim looked satisfied and spoke about Nim having picked the right one after all.

Ccino even has one that seems to go up inside a pillar as he can just climb up vertically to get from the groundfloor all the way to the west wing fifth floor!!

That normally is a nightmare to get to within fifteen!

Ccino does have to remind himself to be careful.

Seeing as one time he tripped and almost fell inside one of those vertical tunnels.

Only for his hand to just happen upon something to grab on.

Ccino had just hang there. By a tiny stone ledge that seemed like a root. One he had been so sure hadn't been there before. BEcause he checks those tunnels to make sure he knows how to move.

So he sat there. in the dark. Having been saved from a nasty fall by.... by something.

Ccino had put his hands together in a prayer and whispered "to the one watching. to the one who helps. I thank you. I have nothign to gift but wish you well. For you are bringing a light to the darkness of my life. Thank you." and he had bowed. and stayed bowed for a minute.

He didn't have anyhting to offer as tribute. Fearing it would lead to mice or rats and that Nim would notice. But he could mutter small prayers.

Nothing official. He had no idea how one prayed to a god. The only reason he knew that that is what people do is because Nim demanded them all to pray to her before they ate. because she was their god.

Each time before his own dinner in the forced privacy of his own room he would pray for whatever power was helping him instead. Thank you.

Thank you for seeing he needed help and being willing to gift it.

Ccino knows it is something. Because the next time he used that tunnel more root like stones had appeared that mimicked railings for him to grab. these had also appeared in the other vertical climbing tunnels.

There was something magical in this castle.

And Ccino is very sure... it isn't conencted to Nim.

[onlyasimp4nobody]

[cementcornfield]

Good to see? That [Joe's] working out like that? 

Well he’s still hard-headed like I said. He does shit like that that’s hard-headed, nobody knows what he’s doing… 

[mossydice]

so just savor the taste, I'll be all that you need, I hope that all things will remind you of me // get on your knees and pray to me, and I will answer willingly

ah, sires . . .

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

[edgydroned]

what's with the hate for uzi's dad

do i really have to spell it out

[walker-lister]

I just have to remind myself sometimes that no matter what anyone else says, the way a piece of media makes me feel and the positive impact it has had on my queer identity is valid, and that tearing myself apart thinking I have to defend it or questioning my own place within queer communities is not at all important when compared to the almost tangible sense of 'rightness' that piece of media helped me to feel about myself.

[theydoctor]

everyone really underestimates how hard it is to live a healthy lifestyle if you don't even want to be alive half of the time

[eggbertith]

i just want a girlfriend so we can fight the horrors together and be homosexual while we do it

[grandwretch]

sometimes the way ppl talk about mental trauma im relation to namwha or xianxia novels or whatever makes me so mad bc like. essentially what they are talking about is the difference in the way our culture portrays trauma differently and which ways we see as good vs bad reactions to trauma and like. ultimately they end up judging a piece of media bc they wanna be like "well China is Wrong about men's mental health" and I'm just like bestie how the fuck are you going to change that by bitching about a webcomic secondly I agree w you when it comes to Real Life but ALSO can we even be sure that we're right just because our viewpoints line up w the culture we were both raised in

moreover I LIKE that Chinese media lets trauma victims (of both genders but it does happen to men more) be imperfect victims without being punished. like I LIKE that someone who was abused gets to completely demolish the lives of the people who hurt them without having to learn a lesson about how revenge is bad, actually. I love that there are so many stories of people who don't have to learn how to be the bigger person in front of their abusers. EVEN THE WOMEN.

Western media could learn a little more of that.

[lazarus-james]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Gran Turismo (2023) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jann Mardenborough/Jack Salter Characters: Jann Mardenborough, Jack Salter Additional Tags: Deleted Scenes, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, It's my boys in love but they're both stupid, Well - Freeform, One of them is already there, The other is oblivious, (Hint: It's Jann), Physical Pain, Physical Intimacy, I like to make things up Summary:

Jann twists his ankle during training and tries to treat it himself. It doesn't go to plan.

[shirogane-oushirou]

finished two ren pics yesterday that i'd been sitting on for a while, started TWO craft projects today (making a cheap DIY bobbin lace bolster pillow + making a ren doll (or two???)) AAAAAND i just found a program that lets me use my ipad as a tablet for my laptop and bought CSP 3.0 on sale. >:333333c Beware.

[gentlethorns]

okay i'm struggling again

[curtsies-from-princess-ashlyn]

Do I need to explain the jokes and meta-commentary of the decisions made for HSM4? Because many people seem to be taking it as canon, when it's not real. Just like Corbin Bleu isn't actually a diva or egotistical, the way HSM4 is being "written" and "produced" is to make fun of the way a lot of reboots or spin-offs are handled.