#this time i actually finished this today it's not that i forgot to post
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mayprilayunely · 2 years ago
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for a dtiys on instagram <3
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starfacedstudio · 29 days ago
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ID in alt!
A little something for Deltarune's 6th anniversary and a way to say im still working on this even though its been ages (though im sure everyone in this fan space is used to that kind of thing lol)!
happy birthday deltarune, i look forward to seeing where this story ends up no matter how long it may take! :D
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moeblob · 2 months ago
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Conversations with Paul never go Right's way.
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coridallasmultipass · 2 months ago
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Finally knitted Halloween socks that I've been meaning to knit since I bought this yarn last year!
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The yarn is from "SavannahRoseHandmade" from the 90s Halloween Collection (sold out now UGH [understandable, but UGH]) and is visually inspired by the movie Scream (1996). I saw the colour pooling effect on their sample swatch when they shared the yarn collection images on Reddit last year, and was immediately like, 'Holy shit it's just like CRT TV static!!' And I had to get it. (And then life happened and I didn't get around to knitting them until now lol).
And unfortunately, I'm SO IN LOVE WITH IT!! THE EFFECT DID TRANSLATE TO SOCKS AND NOW IT'S LIKE, AHHH I NEED MORE. I don't know if I have enough yarn left to make an additional pair, so I'll have to figure out how to weigh it and the socks and see if the weight compares (really don't wanna end up with 3 socks and not enough for the 4th lol). But yeah. I'm so glad I got to do this. The yarn colouration was SO fun to work with, and the yarn was a nice and smooth 1-ply which was a huge relief from the fluffy yarn on the socks I'd been working on just before this. And yes, I did intentionally take this photo in front of those books because of the spiral-ish pooling.
Can I just also... like... holy fuck, man. I LOVE when yarn pools into unique patterns. It's the best phenomenon ever. And especially like for this one being black and white? That subtle grey transition from stark white to pitch black is EVERYTHING. Like I never would have thought one could create yarn that would pool EXACTLY like TV static rolling down the screen when knit. Major nostalgia vibes. I can feel the forcefield.
Also, started these babies September 27 and finished the second sock today October 3rd, which may be a new record for me knitting socks, I was so fucking excited. I even have a big ole 'writers bump' on my finger from the way I hold my knitting needles lmao (was also knitting a different pair of socks before this, too), and my arthritis is Not happy, but screw you, arthritis! I'M HAPPY.
Side note: it would be cool to pair this yarn with like a red addition somehow. Get a Saw vibe going bc of the TV static pooling effect. (I do love Scream though.) Or you could even probably take it a The Ring route with like a fly applique or something. So many horror movie staples with TV static effect, and not enough Scream yarn to test them out!!
Bonus image when the socks were a WIP:
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I had my new tooth and doll eye stitch markers going. I DO have bloody murder weapon stitch markers, but none of them are a buck knife (Ghostface's weapon), so I went for general Halloween vibes instead (even tho I use stitch markers like this year-round lol).
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ch1zzie · 1 year ago
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Some Julie's and idk a little thingy for today
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mirai-desu · 5 months ago
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i got addicted to a losing game; for when your OTP just doesn’t quite make it thanks to canon going to shit
YouTube Playlist Here
Duncan Lawerence - "Arcade"
A Fine Frenzy - "Almost Lover"
S10 - "De Diepte" [Translation]
Leona - "Undream You"
Krick - "Drowning in the Rain"
Cornelia Jakobs - "Hold Me Closer"
Madame Monsieur - "Ne me laisse pas" [Translation]
Tove Lo - "Habits (Stay High)"
Rosa Linn - "Snap"
A Simple Plan - "Untitled"
Yohanna - "Is It True?" Johnny Logan - "Hold Me Now"
Scala & Kolacny Brothers - "With or Without You"
Emmelie de Forest - "Only Teardrops"
Željko Joksimović - "Nije ljubav stvar" [Translation]
Les Misérables - "I Dreamed a Dream"
ABBA - "Knowing Me and Knowing You"
Rascal Flatts - "What Hurts the Most"
Björnzone - "Still the One"
ABBA - "The Winner Takes It All"
Norma John - "Blackbird"
Broods - "Never Gonna Change"
The Common Linnets - "Calm After the Storm"
Sanna Nielsen - "Undo"
Lisa Ajax - "Awful Liar"
Johnny Logan - "What's Another Year"
Adele - "Someone Like You"
Enya - "Only Time"
No Maka FT. Ana Maria - "Aceitar" [Translation]
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wall-eye · 1 year ago
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Favourite characters! i had to go with my classics, Hope and Lyndell!
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yangjeongin · 10 months ago
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just made the funniest set of my life for the hyunjin bday countdown can't wait for u guys to see it in a month .
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marsbotz · 7 months ago
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my new fursona btw. i actually picked a drsign finally. do you love him
#im actually drawing soemthing again finally guyyysssss. you see the wip -> on the right#IGNORE THE TABBY IMAGES LAWLLLLL i cba to redraw so i just recoloured the old design i made a little while agao#i hope wveryone is doing well …….. i havent but its ok im like cured again rn#ITS OK i got more meds today and i start therapy properly on mondayyyyyyy ^_^#i miss you guyssss i miss u all. butttttttt i cant come back seriously like properly#guys i have so many exams coming up -_- BOREDDDDDD. BORED but its ok in like 3 weeks i will b done and then i can draw and game forever#oops i cant switch tags arounf on here but forgot to saw#i realised i just super love b&w animals soooo i did it for my fursoba. and it fits my well. dichotomy theme i have in my head#ong tho awesome news. the place im gonna b working next yr knows im trans cus i emailed abt my name chanfe in the system#andddd they r super cool abt it like they emailed my lecturer to dbl cgeck my name and probouns#guys this might be like the first time in my entired life i get called the right name AND pronouns. how epic#btw i ammmm kinda going back to it/he/they LAWL#cba to change my bio rn but know this. not thet it matteres#ive been watching lots of twitch streams recently and especially vinnyyyyyyy vinnayyy vinesus. vinny my dearly beloved#im so happy he streamed early today so i actually got to watch a whole stream LIVEEEE. notmally he streams in the middke if the night for m#gifgling kicking my feet. bijnnjeeyyyyyyyyyy#okat BYEEEEE. BYE#i will post the finishes wip when i get round to ittttt 💖💖💖💖💖 bye#I LITERALLY FORGOT HOW TO DRAW GUYS ITS SO SAD. ok nightttttr
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loverboybrightsideghost · 2 months ago
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[pulls out a giant nerf gun] [hits new dream with repression and miscommunication of the rocky traumatic start of a relationship beam]
#(it's not actually that bad) (they just have 0 idea how to deal with Fucking Anything)#healthy coping? never heard of her!!!#ao3 deletes my draft today. so i'm gonna make a new one and speedrun the rest of my fic the next time i have like four consecutive hours#and then send it to my friend to read over it#and then fix stuff#and then POST#i was so focused on creating a masterpiece that i forgot that i was doing this to be mushy and fun and to FINISH IT!!!#my main goal was to finish it lol#my rewrites have been good though!!! and i have my plan for the end i just need to write it lol#reading a lot of fanfic yesterday reminded me oh yeah. i can just be mushy. and i will still like it!#and hopefully others too#of course i have to be Right#i couldn't bear it if i wasn't right#but i can be mushy :)#tangled#bluebird.txt#i love it when the girls fight they need to fight more and by god i'll do it all myself if i have to#other people can write the fluff#i wanna make these bitches FIGHT!!!#and then make up and be cute or whatever#but i think ive accepted i can't really write romantic fluff. its just not in me.#kissing? like...maybe#for all intents and purposes just assume my version of new dream is ace because i cannot possibly be assed#to figure out the minds of sex-enjoyers#i'm a sex ambivalent person myself but it's still like. whatever.#in fiction makes perfect sense. in real life i guess also? but less. so i will not write it cuz who give a shit someone else has surely#written it#anyways#[takes my giant nerf gun out] HEY '''FLYNN''' CHECK THIS OUT
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nomairuins · 4 months ago
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back to sdv.
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fallingforyouforeverr · 4 months ago
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𝐍𝐚𝐩 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 | 𝐎𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐏𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢
summary: Oscar misses a team meeting, but when Lando goes to look for him, he gets a surprise
author's note: i finally published my first f1 fic!! sorry it's so short, but I have a bunch of other drafts I'm working on rn that will hopefully be finished soon. also, i literally wrote this at midnight inspired by a picture i saw on Pinterest so it's kinda bad but oh well
warnings: none, just fluff (600+ words)
• f1 masterlist • youtubers masterlist •
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It was no secret to anyone that Oscar was a clingy boyfriend. The other drivers loved to compare him to a koala because of how often he would wrap himself around you, pulling you close to him and resting his head on top of yours. Although he often annoyed others by getting distracted by you, they couldn't even blame you for it and even Zak had to admit his clingyness was actually quite cute.
Today however, it was annoying – especially to Lando who had spent the last 20 minutes searching for his teammate after he failed to show up to the team meeting. He had already checked everywhere he could think of and was beginning to contemplate calling the police and reporting the younger boy missing when he heard a faint snore coming from a small room on his left. Slowly pushing open the door, Lando was met with the sight of you and Oscar sleeping on a sofa, your limbs so tightly wrapped around each other that it was hard to tell where you ended and he began.
As quietly as he could, Lando took out his phone and snapped a picture of the two of you and posted it on his story. He slid it back in his pocket, wondering how to wake his teammate without disturbing you, when Oscar stirred, stretching out his long limbs and opening his bleary eyes.
"Wakey wakey sleepyhead," Lando teased, causing the other boy to groan.
Oscar wriggled his arm out from under you, bringing it up to rub his eyes. "What time is it?" He asked.
"It's almost 2"
"WHAT!" Oscar shot up, accidentally waking you in the process, "shit I missed the meeting didn't I."
"Oz? What's wrong?" You spoke as you sat up, voice still slightly scratchy from sleep.
He froze, looking at you with wide eyes and a guilty expression. "Um... I forgot to set an alarm and I kinda slept through the team meeting."
"Oscar!" You scolded with a laugh, " Zak is gonna be so mad!"
Lando chuckled, making you jump as you hadn't realised he was there. "Oh yeah, he's pissed by the way."
Dragging a hand down his face with a sigh, your boyfriend reluctantly pulled himself out of your arms and stood up. "I'm gonna go catch up with the team," he announced, raking a hand through his hair as he rushed out to the garage.
"Oh I can't wait to see what Zak is gonna say about this" Lando began, a grinning cheekily at you. Narrowing your eyes at him in response, he held up his hands in surrender. "Ok, alright, I'm going!"
Smiling wryly at his childish antics, you began packing away your stuff, knowing that Oscar would be finished soon as he tended to become antisocial when tired. Just as you finished putting the last item in your bag, the Australian appeared in the doorway, affection laced with exhaustion in his eyes as he observed you. When you had finished, he held out his hand for you to grab as he led you through the McLaren hospitality. You had almost reached the exit when a familiar voice rang out behind you.
"Ah, Oscar, there you are!"
You both turned around guiltily to come face to face with a less than pleased Zak Brown. "We missed you in the meeting earlier, mate. I hope that nap was worth it."
"Oh yeah sorry I was um-" Oscar paused, a frown overtaking his features as he realised what the older man had said. "Wait how do you know about that?"
Zak chuckled, calling over his shoulder as he walked away, "Let's just say a certain someone isn't very good at keeping secrets."
"Lando, that absolute muppet!"
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sadnymi · 7 months ago
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「 ✦ Guilty as sin ✦ 」
[Theodore Nott × reader] [TTPD Masterlist]
Summary:(Request) Theo x f!reader where she is a huuuuuge flirt. Flirts with the whole slytherin gang, the golden trio, literally everyone EXCEPT Theo and it doesn’t bother him until his friends start teasing him about it and then it drives him CRAZY. So he tracks her down and she’s all blushy like “idk how to flirt with someone I actually like??” And then smut ensues
Warning: smut
Words:3.5k
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Laughter echoed through the empty corridor – a welcome reprieve from the usual bustle of Hogwarts life. We were on a glorious post-lunch break, a rare moment where none of us had classes.
Draco, ever the stoic one, smirked from the corner, a hint of amusement flickering in his grey eyes. Blaise, reclining against the wall along with mattheo and Enzo .
“So, what’s got you all so chipper today?” I asked, leaning against the wall opposite them, my eyes twinkling with mischief.
“Oh, just the usual,” Mattheo replied with a grin, his eyes scanning me up and down. “Though your presence certainly brightens things up.”
I laughed, a playful glint in my eye. “Is that so, Mattheo? I’m flattered.”
“Flattered, are you?” Enzo chimed in, his smile broadening. “Just wait till you hear what Draco’s been saying about you.”
Draco rolled his eyes but couldn’t suppress the small smile playing at his lips. “Don’t drag me into this, Enzo.”
I arched an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “Oh? And what exactly has Draco been saying?”
Draco finally looked directly at me, his smirk deepening. “Nothing that wouldn’t make you blush, I’m sure.”
Suddenly, the air shimmered and Theo materialized beside me, a frown etched on his handsome face. My laughter died in my throat, replaced by a nervous flutter in my stomach.
Don't get me wrong, Theo was so attractive. Tall, dark, and mysterious, he exuded an aura that drew you in like a moth to a flame. That’s why I always act that awkward whenever he show up.
"Hey, Y/L/N," Theo greeted me, his voice a low rumble. "Having fun?"
But before I could respond, a mischievous glint sparked in Blaise's eyes. "Having fun? She's practically rolling on the floor here! Just look at her," he nudged me with his elbow, "completely smitten with my hilarious story."
My cheeks burned. "Oh, shut up, Zabini," I swatted him playfully. "It was Enzo's joke that was funny, not yours."
Enzo chuckled. "Thanks, Y/N."
We all fell into a comfortable banter again, the conversation flowing like a well-worn path. But with every witty remark aimed at me, every playful touch from Blaise or Enzo, I found myself subtly shifting away from Theo. It wasn't intentional, not really. Maybe a subconscious defense mechanism, a way to keep myself safe from the intensity I sensed in him.
Finally, unable to handle the mounting tension any longer, I blurted, "Oh, well, this has been lovely, but I actually have to…" My voice trailed off, searching for a believable excuse.
"Potions homework?" Blaise offered with a raised eyebrow.
"Uh, yeah, yes," I stammered, "Look at the time! I completely forgot, I have to—"
"Go?" Mattheo finished my sentence with a playful grin, his eyes flickering between me and Theo. "That seems to be your usual line whenever Nott graces us with his presence."
A collective laugh went up from the others, but a blush crept up my cheeks. Was it that obvious?
"See, Theo? That's just how Y/N is. Always gotta disappear when you show up."
Behind me, I could hear the eruption of laughter. Draco's voice rang out, “See ? Always leaving when you appear Nott, gets the charm offensive."
I winced, a mixture of guilt washing over me, I grabbed my bag and walked away.
As I walked to the class the next day my stomach lurched, I scanned the room. Every single seat was taken except for one – the one directly next to Theo. A wave of annoyance washed over me. Why did I have to be the one stuck beside him after yesterday's awkward retreat?
With a resigned sigh, I marched towards the empty chair, determined to keep our interaction to a minimum. Just as I sat down, the classroom door slammed open, and Professor Snape strode in with his usual scowl.
"Settle down!" his baritone voice boomed. "Since we're already behind, we'll be starting immediately. Take out your textbooks and quills, we're brewing Veritaserum today."
My shoulders slumped. Of course, today would be the day Snape insisted on absolute honesty. Great.
I grabbed my textbook with a muttered curse, desperately trying to ignore the heat radiating from beside me. Theo. He was practically close enough to see the worried frown etched on my forehead.
"Rough day, Y/N?" he murmured, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down my spine despite myself.
I kept my eyes glued to my textbook, pretending to be engrossed in the complicated brewing instructions. "Just fine," I mumbled, my voice a touch too high-pitched.
A soft chuckle escaped his lips. "Do I make you nervous, Y/N?" he teased, his voice laced with amusement.
My cheeks burned. Did he have to be so perceptive? "No," I lied unconvincingly, still refusing to meet his gaze.
"Then why the avoidance act?" he pressed.
My cheeks felt like they were on fire. I couldn't take it anymore. Taking a deep breath, I finally looked at him, ready to fire back with a witty retort.
But as our eyes met, something unexpected happened. All the bravado I had practiced in my head evaporated. His gaze held a depth I hadn't noticed before, a hint of something… more.
The stern voice of Professor Snape cut through the sudden tension. "Miss Y/N, Mr. Nott! Pay attention or face detention."
Flustered, I tore my gaze away from Theo.
The moment Professor Snape dismissed the class, I bolted. My cheeks still burned from Theo's teasing, his words replaying in my head like a broken record. "Do I make you nervous?" Ugh, the audacity!
Heart hammering a frantic rhythm against my ribs, I weaved through the throng of students, desperate to escape the classroom and the lingering scent of Theo's cologne.
As I rounded a corner, I slammed right into someone, the impact knocking the breath out of me. I stumbled back, muttering an apology.
"Easy there, love. Running from someone?"
My cheeks burned like someone had set them on fire with a dragon's breath. "No, no, of course not," I stammered, my voice tripping over itself. "Just... eager to get to my next class."
Mattheo raised an eyebrow, amusement dancing in his grey eyes. "Really? Because you look like you just escaped a dragon attack in those robes."
"I-I really have to go," I mumbled again, yanking my arm free from Matteo's grasp.
Before he could say another word, I bolted. I sprinted down the hallway, robes billowing behind me, desperate to put as much distance as possible between me, Theo.
The thoughts I harbored about Theo, well, they were borderline scandalous – even for the often-unconventional wizarding world. Wet dreams were a daily torment, a vivid tapestry woven with stolen glances and the memory of his low chuckle. Even the most mundane tasks became infused with Theo. Daydreams, unwelcome and potent, hijacked my mind, filling it with images of his strong arms wrapped around me, the feel of his warm skin against mine, and those lips... oh Merlin, his lips. The very thought of them sent a jolt through me, leaving me breathless and yearning.
It was a full-blown obsession. Every interaction, every stolen glance, was a spark that ignited a wildfire within me. I envisioned stolen touches, whispered secrets, a clandestine world where it was just us. These "visions," as I'd begun calling them, were both exhilarating and terrifying. Had I lost my mind?
Looking at him was like staring into the sun – an act both beautiful and blinding. I craved his attention, yet recoiled from it in equal measure, afraid of what it might reveal – both about him and the depth of my own desires.
The moment I reached the solitude of my dorm room, I threw myself onto my bed, burying my face in the soft pillow. It was just me and the storm raging within. Seeking a semblance of control, I reached for my most trusted companion – my sketchbook. Flipping to a blank page, I did what had become a nightly ritual: I drew Theo.
His face materialized on the page with practiced ease – the sharp angles of his jaw, the way his eyebrows quirked slightly when he was amused, the intensity of his gaze that seemed to pierce right through me. Each stroke was infused with a longing so deep it ached. As I added the final details, a desperate thought crossed my mind – what if, somehow, magically, drawing him like this would bring him closer? A ridiculous notion, even for a witch like me. But a girl can dream, right?
The drawing complete, I flipped back through the pages, revisiting the countless iterations of Theo that filled my sketchbook. Each one a silent testament to my growing obsession. A pang of guilt stabbed at me as I traced the outline of his lips in one particular sketch. Here I was, feeling like I'd committed a sin, when in reality, our interactions hadn't even reached the stage of a stolen touch.
A frustrated groan escaped my lips. This was madness. Yet, as I drifted off to sleep that night, the sketchbook remained tucked under my pillow, a silent guardian of my unrequited affection.
The next day, the weight of my secret world pressed down on me like a lead blanket.
My usual bubbly demeanor was replaced by a forced smile and a dull ache in my chest. The boys exchanged worried glances, their questions a constant reminder of the truth I couldn't share.
Mumbling an unconvincing excuse about feeling unwell, I escaped the classroom the moment the bell rang, desperate for some fresh air and a moment of solitude.
Once I was finally away from everyone I grabbed my bag, then it happened, panic clawed at my throat as I realized my sketchbook was missing.
I scoured my bag again, desperately searching every compartment, but it was nowhere to be found. My heart hammered a frantic rhythm against my ribs. I carried that sketchbook everywhere, afraid of someone stumbling upon my secret world.
Fear morphed into a cold dread as I retraced my steps, hoping it had simply fallen out of my bag somewhere.
The thought of someone, anyone, seeing my drawings, especially Theo… the very notion sent a fresh wave of terror coursing through me.
I retraced my steps, combing through the classroom once more, a desperate hope clinging to the edges of my despair. But it was futile. The sketchbook was nowhere to be found. My mind raced, picturing prying eyes and whispered secrets. This was a disaster.
Just then, a familiar voice cut through the rising tide of panic. "Searching for something, Y/L/N?"
I spun around so fast I nearly toppled over, my eyes widening as they landed on Theo. A self-assured smirk played on his lips, and in his hand, he dangled my precious sketchbook.
"Theo!" I gasped, the sound strangled and desperate. My cheeks burned with a mixture of mortification and a strange, exhilarating thrill.
Instead of listening to my frantic plea, he held the sketchbook just out of reach, the amusement in his eyes deepening. "Such beautiful secrets you keep hidden, Love."
The blood drained from my face. "Give it back to me, Theodore," I demanded, my voice surprisingly steady despite the tremor in my hands.
He chuckled, a low, beautiful sound that sent shivers down my spine. "Not so fast, love. Perhaps there's something in here that warrants a little… negotiation."
Frustration bubbled up inside me. I lunged for the sketchbook, my fingers brushing against his hand. But he easily outmatched me, holding it high above my head. The height difference was agonizing.
"Give it back!" I hissed, my voice laced with desperation.
A slow smile spread across his face, his eyes gleaming with something I couldn't decipher. Then, before I could react, his other hand shot out, landing firmly on my waist.
A gasp escaped my lips as a jolt of electricity shot through me at his touch. He used the momentum to pull me closer, turning us around so that my back slammed against the cool surface of the empty classroom door my eyes widened when he locked it. My breath hitched in my throat as his warm body pressed against mine.
His face was inches from mine, his breath tickling my ear. "Now," he murmured, his voice a husky rumble that sent a delicious shiver down my spine, "Care to explain what is it about?”
"No "I say "Just give it back!"
Instead of replying, he pulled away, placing the sketchbook on a nearby table with a soft thud. I made a move to grab it, but he was faster. With a single, smooth motion, he used one hand to capture both of mine, pinning them above my head against the cold, unforgiving surface of the door.
His touch sent a jolt through me, a current that both terrified and excited me. His gaze was intense, boring into mine, and suddenly his earlier amusement was replaced by something else entirely.
"So," he said, his voice a low growl that sent shivers down my spine.
"you just decided to ignore my entire existence? The social butterfly with all her friends, suddenly giving me the cold shoulder or vanishing into thin air whenever I'm around. Then I find out you've been drawing me… like a hundred times? Which by the way I'm not complaining about but— ," he added, "but seriously, Y/N, what have I done that you can't bear to stay in the same room with me for a minute?"
His words hit me like a physical blow. Shame burned through me, hot and fierce. "I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice barely a choked sob, my eyes desperately seeking the floor.
"Look at me, love," he commanded, a gentle firmness in his voice.
Slowly, I lifted my gaze to meet his. His face was unreadable, a mixture of concern and something else – something that made my heart skip a beat.
"Good girl," he murmured, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Now, say it. What have I done to make you hate me that much?"
"It's the opposite," I stammered, my voice barely above a whisper. The words tumbled out before I could stop them, fueled by a desperate need for him to understand. "I like you, Theo. A lot. Those feelings… they're so intense, so confusing, and I just don't know how to act around you. I see you and I freak out. I can't breathe, my heart races and then those unholy thoes…" My voice cracked, and tears welled up in my eyes.
He leaned closer, his hand brushing a stray tear from my cheek. "Breathe, my love," he whispered, his voice gentle, his touch sending sparks dancing across my skin. "Breathe."
I did, taking a shaky breath, closing my eyes as his face came closer. His touch was everywhere – on my cheek, my neck, his warm breath against my lips. "Are you mad?" I whispered, barely audible.
A soft chuckle rumbled in his chest. "Quite the opposite," he murmured, his lips brushing mine with a feather-light touch. Then, in one swift movement, he closed the distance between us, his lips meeting mine in a kiss that was both electrifying and grounding.
His hands gripped my hips, lifting me off the floor effortlessly. I gasped as I looked into his eyes, seeing the raw desire burning within them. "You smell so good," he murmured, his lips finding my neck. His stubble tickled my sensitive skin, sending shivers down my spine.
"You know those thoughts you talked about," he continued, placing soft kisses along my jawline. "I have similar thoughts too."
I moaned as he sucked on my earlobe, my head falling back to give him more access. His lips moved down to my neck, his tongue tracing a path along my collarbone.
His hands tightened on my hips, and I could feel his erection pressing against me. I couldn't help but grind against him, feeling his length rub against my clit through our clothes.
"I want to leave marks on your skin, so everyone knows you're mine," Theo growled, his lips moving down to my neck. His tongue traced a path along my collarbone, and I shivered with delight.
"Yours?" I breathed, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Yes, baby. Mine. And those fuckers need to know this," he said, I couldn't help but smile. I knew they had been teasing him for how I had been ignoring him.
His lips traced a path along my collarbone, his tongue leaving a trail of fire in its wake. I shivered with delight as his hand gripped my hair, pulling me to him he looked at my eyes for a second then kissed me. His lips were soft and eager, and I couldn't help but respond.
He turned me around his head on my shoulder "Tell me your deepest fantasy. I'll make it a reality for you,"
His hands went inside my skirt, and I felt his fingers on my thighs. "Can I touch you?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. I nodded, my breath hitching in my throat.
“ oh Merlin “ I say my whole body shaking his finger rubbing circles on my clit fast then slow making me losing my mind
“ not Merlin baby me say my name, do i make you feel good ? “ he say in my ear
“ yes Theo oh yes you do “ I say my body still shaking .
"Do you want me to be rough with you, or gentle?" He asked, his finger sliding inside me. I gasped, holding onto his arms for support.
"No one has touched you like this before, baby?" He asked. I shook my head, unable to trust myself to respond without screaming.
"Good, and no one else will," He said, his fingers moving inside me. I felt myself getting closer to the edge, my whole body tensing up.
"I love how you arch your back when I do this. You're so responsive," He said, his fingers moving faster inside me. I screamed, my whole body shaking with pleasure.
He put his hand over my mouth, muffling my cries "Shhh” He said, his voice soothing.
I felt it happening. My whole body shook, and if not for his strong arm around me, I would have fallen. I screamed with his hand still on my mouth. I came for the first time in my life, and oh lord, it felt like heaven.
"You did so good for me, baby. So good."
Put his fingers in his mouth, savoring my taste. "I love the way you taste, the way you smell. You're like a drug to me,".
He picked me up, setting me on the desk. pushed the books and papers aside, his eyes never leaving mine. Then he pulled me to the edge of the desk, his hands on my thighs.
"Is this like your fantasies?".
"No," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. "It’s much better."
His lips were on my inner thighs in an instant, his tongue tracing a path up to my panties. He pulled them down, his fingers grazing my skin. My breath came in short gasps.
"Do you want me to use my fingers or my tongue? Or maybe both?"
His tongue found my clit, and I moaned as he licked and sucked, his fingers exploring my wet folds. I grabbed onto the edge of the desk, my legs shaking.
Theo pulled back, his eyes meeting mine. He reached for a pen on the desk, pulling it towards him. wrote "mine" on my inner thigh, his eyes locked on mine.
His fingers slid back inside me. I moaned again, my hips bucking against his hand.
His tongue found my clit once again , and I moaned louder this time. He sucked and licked, his fingers moving inside me in a steady rhythm. I could feel my orgasm building for the second time.
"Oh, Theo," I moaned, my hips bucking against his hand.
He moved his fingers faster, his tongue lashing against my clit. I cried out as my orgasm crashed over me again.
He pulled away, making his way up to kiss me. I was shaking in his arms, but he wrapped them around me, making me feel safe and comfortable.
As I trembled in his arms, He held me close, his embrace warm and comforting. He gently brushed my hair away from my face, kissing my forehead tenderly.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered, his voice full of admiration and love.
I rested my head on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. The intensity of the moment began to fade, replaced by a soft, soothing calm. Theo's hands traced gentle circles on my back, his touch reassuring and tender.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly, concern evident in his eyes.
I nodded, feeling a smile tug at my lips. "I'm more than okay. Thank you."
He smiled back, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Theo, I need to tell you something,” I said, my fingers tracing the lines of his jaw.
He looked at me with those deep, caring eyes, waiting patiently.
“I love you,” I whispered. “I don’t mean to scare you with it now, but I’ve been holding it to myself for too long and I wanted you to know.”
A smile spread across his face, and he leaned in to kiss me softly, his lips curing my words. “You don’t have to anymore,” he said, his voice a soothing balm to my fears. He looked into my eyes, his expression sincere. “I love you, and I will prove it to you every single day.”
Tears welled up in my eyes, not of sadness, but of overwhelming relief and happiness. “Promise you won’t hurt me?” I asked, my voice small and vulnerable.
“Never, baby,” he said, pulling me closer. “I promise. I will never hurt you. I’ll always be here for you.”
I buried my face in his chest, letting his warmth and words envelop me, my gaze wandered to the ink on my thigh. The word "mine" stood out boldly, a possessive claim that made me giggle despite the seriousness of everything that had just happened.
Theo noticed and raised an eyebrow. "What’s so funny?" he asked, a playful smile tugging at his lips.
I pointed to the makeshift tattoo. “This. ‘Mine.’ You really went all out, didn’t you?”
He grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “You bet I did. I had to make sure those fuckers know you’re off limits from now on.”
I laughed, “Oh, I’m sure they’ll get the message loud and clear.”
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
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beeholyshit · 2 months ago
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part 2/3...??
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part 1/3?
What can guilt make to you...?
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sp0o0kylights · 29 days ago
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Part one here:: link
"oh i dunno if Im going to finish this" I say, right before the plot ate me. anyway this was too big to post in full to tumblr. If you want the full, completed fic (with bonus Fun Fic Facts tm) it is finished and up on A03 here:: link
TW vomiting, drug use
Eddie is good.
Eddie is kind.
Eddie does not run over Henderson’s bike, laying haphazardly in Harrington’s pristine driveway, even if it would make him feel better. 
He does slam his van into park with enough force to make the brakes squeal, which he decides is an excellent way to announce his appearance to the entire neighborhood. 
It’s a move he’s pulled countless times. Charging in and making a scene meant people forgot that he couldn’t actually fight for shit, and equally, took their attention off whatever their original target was.
Which in this case, was Eddie’s too fucking nice freshman. 
The rage pulsing through him is white hot and all encompassing, and it’ll get him through a lot--but the switchblade he carries ensures everyone’s safety in these little matters. 
It makes him brave.
Braver than he should be really, but Eddie spent the entire drive over here chain smoking out the window while prepping for this little confrontation and the more he’d thought it all over, the madder he got.
That a washed up jock thought he could still take advantage of actual children. 
Nevermind Hellfire, or Henderson ditching, or Sinclaire’s ranting. 
This was about their relationship with Harrington. 
A picture has been building in Eddie’s head. One that’s only gotten clearer after today, and one he will be putting an end to, because he doesn’t believe for a second Harrington has a headache. 
Henderson might always be the smartest person in the room, but he’s dumb as hell socially. Too honest, too blunt, and frankly, too goodhearted. 
That makes him easy to take advantage of. 
Sinclair was worse--the guy was too easy to guilt trip. 
It was a noted issue with his ranger, and apparently, himself, and Eddie could easily see how Harrington could have twisted the idea of some ridiculous life-debt to keep Lucas in his clutches.  
Even Mayfield, Billy Hargrove’s former stepsister, was wrapped up in Harrington enough to have a go at her own friends over him! 
She wasn’t even one of his flock, but Eddie was her neighbor. Saw how her mom was barely home. How she was practically raising herself, head down, doing her best not to ever let people see her cry. 
Yeah.
Wouldn’t exactly be difficult for a guy like Steve Harrington to swoop in and take advantage there. 
Wheeler clearly wasn’t a fan and Eddie can only come up with reason after reason as to why--King Jackass had the poor kid’s entire friend group under some kind of--of sick spell.
Well. 
Eddie was here to break it. 
Even if it meant storming into the King’s castle by himself and calling him out on his shit. 
Nobody fucked with his people. Especially not douchebag, washed up jocks. 
He’s up to Harringotn’s ridiculous double doors in a flash, banging hard on the wood with a closed fist, positively fuming and uncaring of who sees. 
Surprise, surprise, it’s Henderson who opens it.
“Eddie?” He says, blinking up at him like he’s not sure of what he’s seeing.  “What are you--hey!” 
Hey, because Eddie’s pushed past him, storming into the house. 
“This has gone on long enough.” He announces, loud as he ever has been. “Where the hell’s Harrington?”
Henderson, frustratingly, does not weep or throw his hands up in celebration of Eddie’s incoming rescue. 
Which is fine--Eddie hasn’t broken the spell yet.
Unfortunately he is bitching, in that infamously annoying tone of his.
“Dude, shut up, Steve’s pills really only work for like, an hour--” 
“Fantastic, he’ll be clear headed for our little talk.” Eddie tells him, head sweeping left and  right as he looks for his target. He’s been in Casa de Harrington a few times before to deal, but it was always at night.
He can now say with perfect honesty that the place looks worse in the bright light of the day. 
“Was that Eddie?” Sinclair calls, and Eddie orients towards him instantly, storming down the hall. 
It doesn’t take long to find the kid. 
 Lucas is standing in a kitchen larger than Eddie’s entire trailer, a too-large pink apron drowning his frame. 
He turns, revealing the front of the thing has  ‘Whisk Taker’ written on it in syrupy white font. 
(Baking puns. Disgusting.) 
“Are you cooking?” Eddie accuses with a sneer, though his disgust isn’t aimed at the freshmen. 
This is exactly what he was afraid of finding. 
Lucas just stares at him. “Uh--yeah?” 
“What did I say about too many people, Munson?” Mayfrield spits angrily. It takes a second to locate her--the kitchen is enormous and far too white--but eventually Eddie realizes she’s perched up on a counter next to the largest sink he’s ever seen. 
For a second, Eddie thinks that’s just where she’s chosen to sit. Then she moves, and he realizes she’s washing and drying a series of water bottles. 
He never in his life thought he’d witness Maxine Mayfield willingly do someone else's dishes. 
“Someone get me Harrington.” He’s not trying for anything dramatic, but his voice must sound dangerous because all three freshmen stop dead, eyes wide as if he's just spoken in tongues.
He zeroes in on Dustin with a glare. “Now.”
Who huffs, throwing his hands up in the air like Eddie’s the one being unreasonable here. 
“Absolutely not--we just got Steve to sit down. He’s been following me around the house insisting I’m causing more problems than I’m fixing!”
“Because you are.” Steve says, voice dripping with calm condescension as he appears like a wraith in the doorway. “And I know you’re all into the whole dungeon game, Munson, but this is a little dramatic, even for you.”
Eddie whirls to face him, already vibrating with fury. “Oh, that’s rich, coming from the guy who’s treating them like his personal minions. What’s next, Harrington? Gonna make them re-shingle the roof? Paint your house? Wax your car?”
Steve gives him a flat, almost disbelieving stare. “Do you seriously think I had Henderson miss your game just so I could lounge around while he’s doing chores?”
Eddie doesn’t bite, too busy unloading. “Oh we can both see it’s more than that.”
He doesn’t notice the way Steve’s jaw tenses, or how his hand creeps up to the side of his head, rubbing at his temple. 
“Anything else you want done, Harrington? Maybe make ‘em mow the lawn?” Eddie sneers. “Or teach ‘em to plump your pillows just the way you like—”
Steve finally snaps, pushing himself upright. “You know what Munson, you're right,” he says, voice tight with barely-contained frustration. “I’m clearly a terrible person they need to be rescued from so--”  
He cuts himself off with a hiss,  eyes squeezing shut as his hand goes to the side of his head, and spits out his next words like they hurt. 
“You can play the good guy and take them all home.” 
Dustin, with an exasperated sigh, steps between them. “No,” he tells Steve sternly, as if managing an unruly child, before spinning on his heel to say the exact same thing, in the exact same tone--to Eddie. 
(Jackass freshman can’t even appreciate when they’re being actively rescued!) 
“Eddie, I promise that this isn’t what it looks like.” 
For anyone else it would sound like a plea, but Henderosn somehow makes it condescending.
“We can explain, alright?” Dustin says, raising his hands as though coaxing a skittish animal. “Will you let us explain? Please?”
Eddie glowers. 
“You clearly do not, in fact, know what this looks like. Because if you did,” 
Eddie can make himself menacing and he does so now, pulling on every single year of drama and theatrics and lying to cops he’s had, pushing his shoulders back and making his body tall.
“You would know that it looks like a guy who peaked in high school is forcing a bunch of fourteen year olds to do his bidding.” 
He takes an aggressive step towards Steve, boots thunking hard on the floor. “And that isn’t happening on my watch.” 
“Aren’t you like an extra super senior?” Mayfield says, arms crossed over her chest. 
“Irrelevant!” Eddie swats the air in her direction, as if to physically bat away her words. “I’m still in high school and I’m not emotionally blackmailing a bunch of kids into waiting on me hand and foot while I fake a headache!” 
“Oh ew.” Max’s nose scrunches in disgust, a mixture of disbelief and fury warring on her face. “That is not what’s happening here.” 
“Were you even listening earlier?!” Lucas says, like he can’t quite believe Eddie is this dumb. 
(His character will be the next to die, so Eddie swears.) 
“I did.” Eddie points a finger at him, triumphant. “I heard all about how he’s tricked you into thinking you owe him a life-debt!”
“A what?” Harrington’s squinting, like he’s struggling to follow along what is happening. It’s a halfway decent sick act, Eddie will give it to him, but he knows the facade will drop in a moment. 
As soon as the asshole loses his temper and decides to try and throw Eddie out, he’ll switch from the Poor Me act into the usual pompous, rich dick on a rampage persona. 
“How he’s saved you all, convinced you and Henderson that you’re in debt to him.” 
“Could we just---please stop yelling?” Steve says in the background, heel pressing hard against his eyes. 
Then winces like his own voice hurts his head.
“What the hell, Eddie?!” Dustin’s cut across the room, stepping in between the two older teens. “Where did this even come from!?” 
“Guys.” 
“The mouths of babes, Henderson. Which you would know if you witnessed Sinclair’s rant instead of missing out because King Dickhead demanded your presence at his castle!” 
“Guys.” Steve’s voice abruptly takes on a weird tone, and it’s only Mayfield’s eyes popping wide that has Eddie realizing something is wrong--right before Harrington shoots past him, noisily hurling in the sink.
“Gross!” Max shrieks, throwing herself off the counter. 
Harrington aims a shaky middle finger in her direction. 
“I just washed those bottles Steve, I'm not washing them again!” Mayfield rants, but she’s not fooling anyone. Not with the way she’s already edging back towards him, like she’s afraid he might fall over. 
(Worse, like she might try to catch him, as if Harrington’s broad, barbarian-like shoulders wouldn’t flatten her instantly.) 
“Al-’right.” Harrington slurs a moment later, still panting over the sink. “Everyone--out. Now.” 
“Steve--” 
“Nope. Making it worse. Out.” 
He manages to stand and turn, leaning hard against the counter and for the first time since this all started, Eddie looks at him. 
Properly, and not through the lens of righteous fury. 
Harrington’s pale.
The shirt he’s wearing is stained with sweat marks, his sweatpants clearly old and worn for comfort rather than style. 
His hair…
Eddie has never seen Harrington without his infamously perfect hairdo, and the messy, slick waves plastered to his forehead is more of a shock then him vomiting in the sink. 
He’s got his hands pressed hard against his eyes again, and there’s a slight tremble in his fingers that belay he’s likely in a lot more pain than he’s letting on.
In short, Harrington looks like absolute shit, and Eddie, maybe, possibly, the tiniest bit believes he actually has a migraine. 
Well, it was that or he was really committed to the bit… 
The tense silence that has befallen them all is ruined when Harrington makes a ‘hurk.’ noise.
“I’m going to throw up again.” He decides after a moment of contemplation, before whipping back around to the sink and doing just that. 
“Steve’s right.” Mayfield decides suddenly, over all the nasty noises. “We should leave.” 
“I’m almost done cooking!” Sinclair protests, as if Harrington isn’t presently throwing up the contents of his stomach. 
“You’re almost done burning things, you mean.” Max mutters, but her words can’t hide the blatant concern written all over his face. “I don’t think he’s going to keep anything down.” 
“He needs us to finish what we started.” Dustin argues passionately. “You know how bad he gets, he’s not gonna be able to get up in an hour!” 
(A clear exaggeration, because Harrington looks like he’s not gonna make it across the kitchen unassisted.) 
“What I need is for everyone to stop talking so fucking loud.” Harrington moans, before appearing to give up on life entirely. 
He sort of sags against the counter, resting his head against his arms while bent double, as if that would help things. 
It was at this point that Eddie had the most unfortunate realization that he might be the asshole here. 
Because Harrington looks rough--and if he actually does in fact, have a migraine, then Eddie has done nothing but make it worse.
(Very likely the freshmen have as well, given Dustin is incapable of talking in anything other than a loud yell, and the smell of Lucas’s burnt food has permeated the air.
Mayfield seemed to have accomplished a small amount of actual work, at least.
…If Harrington managed to miss throwing up on the water bottles.) 
“Look,” Harrington interrupts with an audible, thick swallow.“You guys did great, and I appreciate the uh, help. I’m fine, I promise, you can all go home. Munson,” 
He doesn’t turn, but his voice does change into something that’s half pleading, half demanding.
“Can we please fight about this tomorrow? Or next week?” 
“No fighting!” Dustin shrieks, which has the effect of making Harrington cringe into the counter--and that is what finally kicks Eddie over.
Bows to the instincts that now want to wrap up Harrington in a blanket over the ones that want to strangle him, (though both are very much at odds in his head with each other.)
“We can put a pin in it.” He says, all the venom dropping out of his voice,  already knowing what’s going to happen next and hating himself for it. 
Even at his absolute worst, Eddie has never been able to resist trying to fix a problem he’s been presented with--or turn down someone who needs help.
Harrington, clearly, needs help. 
“You heard him.” He tells his freshman, then immediately holds up a hand when all three try to protest at once. 
“Ah-ah, inside voices.” He himself uses a harsh whisper, and then has to fight not to laugh aloud when all three abruptly eye him like he’s lost his head.
He probably has.
(Fucking King Steve.
No one who is that much of a douchebag should ever look that pathetic without deserving it, it’s against the Munson doctrine.) 
“Henderson, have you done anything actually useful while you’ve been here? Like, say, getting a warm washcloth?” 
“I--oh.” Dustin’s on the defense instantly, but for once actually listens before he finishes his sentence. “Uh. No.”
“Go do that then.” Eddie instructs, making sure to keep his voice quiet and even. 
“Sinclair, toss out the eggs, then take the garbage out so it’ll stop stinking up the place. Mayfield, see if these windows open. Harrington…” 
He pauses, watching as Harrington tries to gather himself, moving slowly and deliberately like even breathing hurts. His entire appearance is grating Eddie’s nerves—not because he doesn’t care, but because he does, and that’s infuriating. 
“Go lay down, man.” He finishes lamely. 
He expects the freshmen to listen to him. Knows they will, in his heart of hearts, even if they bitch back, because that’s just how things are when he decides to take charge. So few people truly want to, that others are often relieved when he does. 
Steve Harrington is not most people.
If he argues, he could very well tip things out of control again, which means Eddie is likely going to have to force the trio of fourteen year olds out of the house. 
Henderson and Sinclair he can manage but Mayfield…
Thankfully, Steve pushes off the counter with a groan, muttering something under his breath, but slowly making his way toward the couch without any other protest. 
The freshmen exchange glances, all of them looking just as unsure as Eddie feels. Like they’re waiting for instructions now that their default leader is down for the count.
He clears his throat pointedly. 
“Hello? Did I not give you marching orders?” He bats his hands at them. “Go march!” 
Mayfield mutters something that sounds an awful lot like “hypocrite” but thankfully, does as asked. 
“Are you gonna give us a ride home?” Henderson asks as he finally starts moving around--hopefully to get a damn washcloth. 
“You got yourself here, you can get yourself home.” Eddie scoffs back, taking stock of Harrington’s kitchen. 
He eyes the line of pain pills laid out on the counter, quickly noting not one of them is anything that would help with a sneeze let alone a migraine. 
Typical. 
“Why not?” Dustin disappeared down a hallway, but the fact Eddie can still hear him plain as day speaks to his ability to keep quiet. “You have your van, don’t you?” 
“Because I’m not leaving when you three are leaving.” 
It’s an absentminded comment, given his mind is elsewhere. 
Weed may be his bread and butter but he does have a handful of more serious things on offer. 
Of those things, one or two have some fun little unexpected side effects, and if Eddie recalls Rick’s yapping right, one of said things was stopping headaches. 
Said magic little mushrooms might even be in a pocket or two, here, if he remembers right… 
“Wait, you're staying here?” Lucas protests, far too loudly. 
"Ssszzhh!" Eddie hisses, drawing out the sound dramatically, mostly for the sake of cutting off whatever protests were coming his way. 
“No arguing. Your beloved King clearly needs a nap, and that means you’re all off duty. Unless," he adds with a raised eyebrow, "you intend to watch him sleep?"
Dustin looks torn, but mutters a quiet, "No," his eyes shifting sideways like he's weighing the logic.
"Good. Then if you’re all finished…?”
He waits for the nods he knows are coming. 
“Excellent. Now leave." Eddie says, pointing towards the door. 
They hesitate for a second, but then finally begin to shuffle out, the door clicking quietly behind them. 
And just like that, Eddie’s left standing there, watching Steve breathe shallowly on the couch--with a washrag over his eyes.
(At least Dustin managed that.) 
He could leave now. 
Should leave, really. Giving out drugs for free is not exactly a good business move and Steve will no doubt sleep the headache off without it. But Eddie’s feet don't seem to agree with him, rooted in place as his gaze lingers on the sharp line of Steve's jaw, the slight twitch of his brow every time a muscle aches.
Feels the pull, deep in his gut, to provide the relief he knows he can give. 
Before he knows what’s happening, he’s moving, crossing the room toward him.
“Munson?” Harrington squints up at him as he registers his presence, washcloth nudged upwards by shaky fingers. “Why’r you still ‘ere?” 
“Because I’m stupid.” Eddie mutters, right before realizing he actually said that outloud. 
“What?” 
Thank God for Harrington’s headache. 
“You look terrible, man.”  Eddie says slightly louder. “That hair of yours is so flat I think your crown’s gonna fall right off.” 
He’d meant it as a joke--spoke it like one, but it seems to snap Harrington out of his pity party. 
The sigh that blasts out of him is a whole body affair, and gets his feelings across better than his words do. “I get it. You thought this was something else and it wasn’t. Not the first time that’s happened.” 
He turns, cheek scraping against the fabric of his shirt, red rimmed eyes squinting against the light to look at Eddie. 
“You got your laugh in, so you can go.” 
There’s defeat in his voice. Like he’s accepted this might as well have happened. 
(Like he’s just as beaten down as anyone Eddie has ever saved.) 
“I didn’t stick around to laugh.” Eddie keeps his voice soft, and that somehow, makes the next part easier to say.  
“I honestly thought you were messing around with Henderson and Sinclair, and I uh, I’m used to being the only person who gives a shit. When that kind of thing happens.” 
Harrington grimaces. 
“It’s okay.” he mutters, eyes sliding closed once more. “Most people still think I’m an asshole.”
His tone has gone odd again, wrecked and rasping, migraine clearly trumping whatever strong feelings he had on the matter. 
And the stupid thing was, Harrington himself was never really an asshole. 
Sure he went along with the assholes, and he definitely egged them on if not outright participated in some of the lower tier shitty activities, but he wasn’t the guy slamming people into lockers. 
(Eddie, in fact, has a hazy memory of Steve telling off Hagan for doing said locker slamming.) 
It didn’t make him a good guy--he’d had slung too many insults around to get that label--but in the rankings of assholery, his was of the average variety. 
Which means that Eddie cannot logic himself out of his own stupid desire to help.
Even if he really, really wants to.
“Yeah well, even assholes need assistance sometimes, and since I kicked your help out, it’s on to make up for it.” 
“No offense,” Steve slurs tiredly, “but I don’t think you’re any quieter than Dustin.” 
A smile ghosts over Eddie’s face. 
“I live in a tiny ass trailer, Harrington. Trust me,  I know how to be quiet. I simply choose not to be.” He moves, slow and careful, until he’s seated next to the fallen King on his stupidly huge (and very uncomfortable) couch. 
Steve’s eye follows him over, staring up as he white knuckles his sweatpants, washrag sitting crooked on his forehead. 
“I’m not sure I’m not gonna throw up again.” He admits after a moment. 
“And that right there is one of the things I can help with. Provided,” Eddie waggles his eyebrows, “that you don’t mind taking a more recreational route for your recovery?” 
“....are you offering me drugs?” 
“I am indeed.” Eddie confirms with a real smile, plucking the offending baggie out of a pocket. 
“You ever done shrooms, your majesty?” 
Steve huffs a quiet noise that might have been a snort, had he put any effort behind it. 
“How is that going to help?” 
“Be-cauuuuuse,” Eddie draws the words out, still a showman even if he is doing his level best to talk as quietly as possible, “shrooms are what we call a psychedelic, and those are pretty well known among certain circles as the headache healer.” 
Provided one took the medicinal amount and not the down-the-rabbit-hole amount. 
Harrington’s eyes are back open, only this time they’re looking at Eddie’s fingers the same way a dog looks at a nail trimmer: concerned and not entirely unsure it wasn’t going to bite him. 
“I’m not…” He cuts himself off, frowning. 
“You’ve bought plenty of my weed, Harrington. Trust me this isn’t any different.” Eddie tells him. 
Isn’t offended in the slightest--this reaction is pretty typical for people who have only smoked the ganja. 
Even the ones who asked to try for something with a little more ‘umph.’ 
“S’not that.”Steve admits quietly. “I uh. Had a bad trip. While back.” 
“Ah, gunshy.” Eddie says it without a lick of judgment, because Eddie’s been there.
Or rather in the shower, at two am because he accidentally spilled LSD on his hand and promptly tripped balls for 48 hours after.  
 “I’ll hang around a bit, if you like.” He offers casually. “Make sure things don’t go sideways.”
He gets another huff-snort as Harrington’s watery eyes return their attention to him. 
“And what are you going to do if they do go sideways?”
“Put you back together again.”  
Eddie knows his grin is crooked, but can’t help it. He’s thinking about Humpty Dumpty and the King’s Men.  
Somehow he doesn’t see Steve Harrington cracking that easily—at least, not without putting up a good fight—but drugs did worse things to better people. 
“It really helps?” Steve asks, voice quiet. Doubtful.
Eddie presses his hands to his chest. “Scouts honor.”
“You were not a boy scout.” Steve tells him, but he’s struggling to sit up anyway, looking game. 
“Alright, so how do I do this?” He asks, though he’s already halfway down again, propped up on his elbows.
“First, you lay back down, and I’ll brew it into tea,” Eddie explains. 
“Tea?”
“Well, you could eat them straight, but I don’t think they’d taste too great. Not that I wouldn’t mind watching you try.”
Steve scowls. “Sadist.”
“Guilty,” Eddie replies, biting back the urge to sing-song it, keeping his voice down and steady. “Just a heads-up: they kick in fast, but I’ll go light on you—nothing like the ‘fun’ dose for the usual crowd.”
Which is how he ends up back in the kitchen, this time making tea and humming to himself, before offering the final brewed concoction to Harrington.
Who downs it like a shot, because he’s a fucking frat-bro at heart. 
“I didn’t find a teacup for you to do that.” 
Between a full-body shudder and a dramatic grimace, Steve chokes out “Not gonna lie I didn’t think we owned a teacup.” 
“What, do you think I just have them in my van?”
“Honestly? Yeah.” 
Which is kind of hysterical, and something Eddie may be doing--not that he’s telling Harrington that. 
“And now we wait!” He announces instead of rambling about teacups, nearly clapping his hands together before he remembers the migraine Steve is soldiering through with surprising grit. 
Eddie himself would have turned into a whiny mess, so he can’t help but admire the guy’s restraint.
“Waiting to see if I hurl again, you mean?” Steve mutters, flopping backward onto the couch. “That tasted like battery acid.”
“Think it’s coming back up?”
“No clue.”
They sit in silence for a second, then Eddie pokes, “Maybe it’s best if you crash in your room, man. You look like death warmed over, and this couch sucks.” 
An understatement, if there ever was one. The fucking thing didn’t seem to be made for people to actually sit on. 
Reluctantly, Steve pulls himself up, heading toward his room. Eddie tags along, snarky grin covering the way he holds his hands out in case the jock ahead of him slips on the stairs and takes them both out. 
(Unlike Mayfield, Eddie does not pretend Steve doesn’t outclass him weight wise. The man was built like a brickhouse, and he has to fight to keep his eyes up toward Steve’s hair instead of on his ass.) 
Thankfully, he’s saved from all R-rated thoughts by the sheer horror of Harrington’s bedroom. 
“Harrington, I’ve found the source of all your migraines.” Eddie tells him, tone as serious as he’s ever been.
“Ha-ha.” Steve deadpans, stepping into his plaid fucking room. 
“I’m not kidding, I’m getting a headache and I’ve been here less than five seconds.” 
The whole place truly is a nightmare--like someone took one of those plaid hunting jackets and themed an entire room around it. 
Fucking rich people. 
“Trust me, it’s not the wallpaper.” 
“Given how you’re weaving on your feet, I think it’s safe to say I don’t trust you at all.” Eddie tells him, half helping half dragging Steve towards the bed. 
It’s a comfy looking thing and Harrington falls into it gratefully, immediately crawling under the covers. 
“You know where to find me?” Eddie asks him, refusing to think Harrington snuggling up in his bed is something cute. 
“Yeah?”
“Good. Hit me up next time your head gets bad. I’ll make sure to keep some of this,” He shakes the little baggie, “on hand.” 
Steve’s pulled the covers all the way up past his chin, but he moves it down a little to properly cock an eye at Eddie. 
“Dare I ask what you're gonna charge for that?”
“Let’s call it a fair trade for all those times you’ve driven the freshman home from Hellfire.” 
If Steve even recalls this conversation, that is. Eddie hadn’t exactly given him the “fun” kind of dose, but then, he himself has never tested out what dose is needed to cure headaches rather than simply having  fun destroying one's own ego. 
He supposes that’s something he and Harrington both will have to test, between them--because Eddie meant it when he offered the drugs for free.
No one deserves to suffer from the kind of migraine Harrington clearly had. 
“Think you’re good to drop off.” Eddie tells him, after making sure Steve is happily content in his bed. 
Checks his watch to make sure enough time has passed to safely call it, before beginning to attempt his way out of Steve’s god-awful bedroom. 
Which of course, is when Harrington reaches out, looping his fingers around Eddie’s wrist. 
It freezes him in place. 
In a moment that is so utterly selfish and stupid that Eddie will loudly insist it was a hallucination should Harrington ever dare ask about it, he turns his palm and moves so that he’s clasping Steve’s fingers with his own. 
“Thanks. For all this.” Steve whispers, as they hold hands for a moment. 
Eddie squeezes his fingers against the younger man’s before he moves to make his retreat, flashing a peace sign over his shoulder as he goes.  
“Anytime, big boy.” 
Anytime. 
xxx
The thing no one tells you about creating a doctrine, is that at some point or another, someone’s going to hold you to it. 
In Eddie’s case it’s four very pissed off teenagers.
He has a gold medal in mental gymnastics and a silver in denial. Left on his own devices he could easily excuse everything that happened yesterday. 
Reclassify the fallen King as pathetic, and the kids' weird loyalty to him as a holdover from his babysitting days. 
Blame their nosy-ness on them being involved in Harrington’s life, and happily go back to mocking their relationship with renewed vigor because now he’s not going to handwave their behavior as being afraid of Harrington. 
Nope, they clearly and willingly, have attached themselves to the King, which means Eddie gets to make fun of them for life. 
Pity they don’t leave Eddie to his own devices. 
In fact, the little shits hit him up first thing in the morning, early enough that he's’ a little suspicious that the boys slept over at Max’s trailer. 
“We’re not done talking about Steve.” Mayfield tells him and given the determined (Henderson) angry (Sinclair) and put out (Wheeler Jr.) faces glaring at him from over her shoulder, Eddie figures his chances for getting out of this conversation are slim to none.
“Good morning to you too.” He snarks, voice gravel-deep with sleep. “What do you little shits want?”
“I literally just said.” Max rolls her eyes so hard he thinks about commenting that they may stick back there, only to decide that makes him sound too much like a teacher for his liking. 
(Besides if they get stuck, he’ll have an excuse to whack her on the back of her head without getting murdered for it.
…well. 
An attempt at an excuse, anyway.) 
“And who says I have anything I want to talk about?” He fires back, leaning a shoulder against the old metal doorframe. 
Just because he understood what they wanted didn’t mean he was going to make it easy. 
“Would you just let us in?” 
“No.” 
“Eddie.” Dustin whines, and Eddie redirects his frown his way. “Come on.” 
“Well I suppose if you say it that way,” Eddie hums thoughtfully. “No.” 
“Steve’s sick, you asswipe.” Max snaps angrily. 
“I know,” He volleys back, brightly sarcastic. “I saw him yesterday.”
Because it’s Mayfield, she matches him tit for tat, a mimicry of his sarcastic drawl entering her voice. “Good! You get to see him today too.”
And just like that their little ambush makes sense.
(He’s got to find a new way to get the damn kids to fear him, clearly his usual menacingness  just isn’t cutting it anymore.) 
“And why would I do that?” 
He’s done his good deed. He helped Harrington out, and even offered free drugs to help him get his migraines under control. 
Checking up on the guy was overkill.  
“We were gonna do it, but someone let it slip that Steve was sick.” A cutting glance is given to Henderson, who makes a face but otherwise holds his ground. 
“And his mom called everyone else's parents with instructions that we leave him alone until he feels better.”  
“So now if we go over there,” Sinclair finishes for his girlfriend, “we get grounded.” 
Which neatly answers every question that just popped into Eddie’s head. 
The threat makes sense for the boys--Eddie’s met Claudia Henderson and though she has that bubbly, easy to confuse nature of suburbanites everywhere, there was an undercurrent in her eyes of someone who knew more than she was letting on. 
Or perhaps, someone who simply knew what they wanted, and was happy to settle and wait for it. 
 Likewise the Sinclair and Wheeler parental units seem to want to keep in her--and Steve’s, no doubt, given he carts their kids around--good graces. 
Given Mayfield’s mom wasn’t even home last night, her participation in this farce does not make sense and Eddie narrows his eyes at her in warning. 
“I fail to see how this is my problem.” He says instead of directly calling her out.
She knows he knows, and he’s smart enough to figure out how to relay that without saying it directly. 
(An action taken out of respect for surviving a bad home life, and absolutely not because he’s terrified she’ll crawl through his window to enact revenge in the middle of the night.) 
“It’s your problem because you owe him one.” she tells him firmly. “And us.”
Oh no he does not. 
“How so?” He challenges with a snorted laugh. 
“You did kind of storm into his house and yell a lot.” Sinclair points out. He’s doing better at speaking up, Eddie realizes with a twisted sense of pride and dread. 
Not quite so easy to steamroll after his outburst yesterday. 
A part of him hopes that sticks around--Sinclair needs a spine, and not just because Mayfield will keep running circles around him until he grows one. 
The rest of Eddie is pissed off that he decided to get one now, when it directly impacted Eddie’s Saturday morning sleeping plans.  
Leave it to these dickheads to use a good deed against him.
“Look--we can’t make sure he’s okay. You can.” Mayfield steps up to jam a painted fingernail in Eddie’s chest. “He won’t let us do anything that will actually help him. You, he can't stop.” 
He does not take a step backward and thus lose all the cool points he has left in the eyes of the younger Hellfire members, but only because he’s already leaned up against the doorframe. 
He bares his teeth at her in a silent snarl instead. 
“We made it worse.” She admits, voice sharp. “And I don’t know how to make it better, but you seem to be able to, so congrats Munson--you get to go again!” 
Which gets Eddie’s back right up. 
He pushes off the doorframe, ready to tell Mayfield--and all his little dipshits--right off, except this is when Wheeler Jr., of all people, decides to add in his two cents. 
“If you don’t go, no one else will.” He looks off to the side while he says it, arms crossed tight across his chest and spitting the words out like he's admitting to a crime. “Robin’s not coming back until Monday and Nancy's got some stupid thing, so you’re literally the only person who can go.” 
Well just stab him in the heart, why don’t you. 
“What are the chances of you fucking back off to whatever hole you crawled out of if I refuse?” He asks, already knowing that he’s done for.
Accepted his fate, because he knows what it’s like not to have someone to rely on, when you need them the most. 
“Zero.” Sinclair and Henderson chant as one. 
“Well then.” He tells them with the biggest, most put upon sigh he can manage. “Guess you got me in a box here.” 
Mayfield grins at him.
It reminds him vaguely of a shark. 
A bloodthirsty, slightly demonic, mean shark. 
“Good. Go get dressed.”
“Oh I’m doing this right now, am I?” He complains, but he’s already moving to go back into his trailer. 
“We’re not leaving until you do!” Mayfield yells at him.
Eddie slams the door in her face. 
(He’s never adopting freshmen again, as long as he fucking lives.)
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runnning-outof-time · 6 months ago
Text
Up Until You | Tommy Shelby x Reader
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Request: yes by anonymous
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader
Summary: In which Tommy Shelby realizes that he might just have someone he wants to live for.
Warnings: smoking, slight season 2 spoilers
Word Count: 3698
A/N: boy does it feel good to post a story again! I hope there won’t be as big a gap between this and my next one … I promise I’m getting these requests written! Anon, I hope this is as angsty as you were hoping….the prompt you sent is bolded. Enjoy! :)
A/N 2: I almost forgot! I wanted to give a shoutout to the lovely Mars @toms-cherry-trees for helping me so much in the planning process of this fic…I don’t think it would have gotten finished if it weren’t for you!
I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! — COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!
Comment/Message Me if you’d like to be tagged!
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(Y/N) sent Ada Shelby a look that asked 'where is he?' the second the latter opened the door. Ada answered with a head nod to the left, which conveyed the answer of 'he's in there'. A glance over the Shelby woman's shoulder confirmed it - Tommy was sitting at the table in the front room. His back was to the door, so he hadn't noticed that she arrived...yet.
She sent Ada an appreciative smile before she quietly walked into the room, hoping that Tommy wouldn't hear her footsteps. He seemed to be too engrossed in his writing for that to happen though. She stood there for a few moments, carefully peering over his shoulder as he finished the sentence he was writing.
He paused then, and it gave (Y/N) the ability to read the sentence he'd just written:
In the event of my own death, I want the following facts to be known...
Reading those words made her mind go blank. "You're actually going through with it?" she asked without thinking.
The sudden sound of someone's voice made Tommy quickly turn in his chair. He was already on edge with the day's events taking up his mind, so this unexpected visitor had caught him completely off guard. It took a few moments for it to register that (Y/N) was standing in front of him. When it did, he cursed under his breath before letting out a huff.
"When'd you get here, eh?" he asked, his eyebrows raised as he placed his hands on his thighs.
"Just now. I couldn't find you at home. The guys hadn't left for the derby though, so I figured you'd be here," she explained her reasoning. "You don't have to go through with this, Tommy," she then circled back, not letting him switch topics.
"I have to," his response cut right to the point. He didn't have time to get into a discussion about it.
"What about the other options you've shared with me? The options that don't include you having to come face to face with this man in order to get the job done," she reminded him of the talks they've had in the past, hoping that doing so would get him to change his mind.
"There's no time for those other options, (Y/N). The derby's today. The plan's been laid out," he wasn't biting.
Silence hung in the air as they stared at each other. (Y/N) was hoping that he'd change his mind. She waited on bated breath, waiting for him to announce that to her. But he stayed silent.
She couldn't wait any longer. "So that's it then?" she asked, incredulousness present in her voice. The fact that he wasn't even trying to entertain a conversation about this was breaking her heart. "You're just going to write your note and practically seal your death with it? And what'll that mean for me?" she was unable to stop herself from getting choked up as she uttered her final question. She didn't want to think about her life without him, but it was staring her dead in the face at the moment.
"The note's just precautionary, love," he attempted to assure her. Her expression didn't change, her brow was now furrowed and it was noticeable that she was biting on her bottom lip; most likely to stop her tears. Tommy finally stood then, coming face to face with her in hopes that his proximity would wash some of her worry away. "I'll be fine," he added in a low voice, blindly searching for her hands so that he could hold them.
"You can't promise that," she responded, her voice coming out as a shaky whisper. It was taking everything she had not to burst out into tears in this moment. She'd always associated his closeness with safety...whenever Tommy was close, (Y/N) knew she could never get hurt. But now his closeness was making her hurt even more.
"It'll be fine," he repeated, squeezing her hands.
"It's really been decided?" she still couldn't accept it.
"It has," he nodded.
(Y/N) sighed at his confirmation. Her gaze dropped to the floor as she pulled her hands from his grasp. She then wrapped her arms tightly around her frame as she turned and took a few steps towards the windows.
"(Y/N)." Her name left Tommy's lips as a breath. He knew he was fighting a losing battle here. "Come on, love. Look at me," he gently coaxed her. She stood still. "It'll be fine," he tried once more to assure her.
That set her off. She whipped around within a second of hearing his statement. There was now a fire burning in her watery eyes. "Do not say those three words again," she snapped at him, "do not continue to try and reassure me with things that you cannot guarantee will happen. You know how dangerous this plan is, Thomas. Please don't try and act like It isn't. You wouldn't be sat here writing a note for someone to find in the event of your death if you didn't think that there was a possibility of it happening," she spoke her mind, letting her emotions go free as all of the pent up worry flowed out.
"(Y/N)," he spoke her name again, in a different tone this time. He didn't need this lecture. Not right now. "This is what needs to be done," he continued in a low voice, staying stoic in hopes that it would alleviate the situation quicker.
But (Y/N) no longer cared about what he did or didn't need at that moment, and if anything, his statement just made her even more upset.
"It doesn't need to be done like this," she insisted, "you don't need to sign your life away for a contract...for a man who doesn't give a single care about the stakes that have been raised here so long as he isn't the one carrying out the deed. Any other person would be trying to find a way to take themselves out of the equation but you've decided to put yourself in the driver's seat."
(Y/N) felt like she was talking in circles. Hell, she probably was, but she was doing so in hopes that something would be set off inside of him. She wanted him to realize that there was still time to think up another plan; one that didn't include him being placed in harm's way.
"What is it that you want from all of this?" he asked her, his brows furrowed together.
"You, Tommy!" she exclaimed, her frustration shining clear through her words. "I want you to fight! I want you to realize that things don't need to play out this way; that you can still put another plan into play!" she paused, taking a deep breath as she swiped at the tears that had escaped her eyes. "I want you to come home when all of this is finished," her voice was level again as she spoke the final sentence. Her eyes were locked onto his, hoping that he'd realize how much this was affecting her.
Their eyes stayed locked and a few moments passed before Tommy looked down at the ground. He exhaled a sigh as he brought his hand up to the back of his neck. "It's already done," he said, his voice void of any tone.
"Then I guess I'm done," the words left (Y/N)'s mouth before she could stop them. She didn't take them back though. She was tired of fighting in a one-sided fight. It was so obvious that Tommy had his mind made up. Nothing was going to change it at this point. But yet she still held onto that sliver of hope. She hoped that her showing up today and speaking her piece would get him to change his mind.
"(Y/N)..." Tommy looked up again as her name fell from his lips, shock now present in his expression.
"I can't be here a moment longer. I can't stand in front of a man who is acting as if he's already dead. I need to leave."
Her words were spoken softly, but Tommy heard them loud and clear. He said nothing as she moved to the archway, expecting her to leave without another word. To his surprise, she turned around just before she was about to exit the room.
"I didn't believe that love existed until you came along, Tommy. But you showed me how wrong I was for thinking that way; for thinking that I'd never experience something like that. And now you've just decided not only your future, but mine as well. I can't stay here and watch it play out. I'm not sure if I'll be home when you return. I just..." (Y/N) stopped speaking as the words got caught in her throat. She let out a shaky breath, tears welling up in her eyes once more.
All words escaped her at that moment, and she shook her head instead, deciding that finishing her declaration would be a lost cause anyway. She couldn't even bear to look at him again, too afraid that she'd actually break down. So instead she turned and made her way to the door of the home, opening it and leaving without looking back.
The sun was now shining down on her. It was an absolutely lovely day in London, but yet she was having one of the worst in her life. She decided to go for a walk, revisiting the streets that still felt like home even though she'd made the move to Birmingham several months ago.
(Y/N) knew Ada Shelby before she knew Tommy. She'd met her when Ada had moved into the next door apartment with her adorable son, Karl. The two women quickly became friends, spending a lot of time together right up until the day Ada had been found and hurt for being a Shelby.
Contact stopped briefly as Ada had moved out of the apartment, but things continued like nothing had even happened when Ada sent (Y/N) a letter that contained her new address. The two frequently spent time together in the front room of the lovely new home, sipping tea and talking about the day's events in front of the fire.
Ada's house was where (Y/N) first met Tommy. Surprise riddled their first encounter. Ada had stepped away to tend to Karl when Tommy came knocking on the door. (Y/N), being the friend that she was, didn't hesitate in opening it. The sight she was greeted with took her breath away. Thankfully Ada had returned from Karl's room, or who knows how long the two would have been standing in the doorway, staring at each other. She even joked about the fact that they couldn't seem to keep their eyes off of each other. Of course it didn't help that Tommy had forgotten what it was he was even there for for the first few minutes of his visit.
That wasn't the last time (Y/N) saw Tommy. The two became very close very quickly. It was like they had known each other forever; like there was this pull present between them that neither could ignore. Things also got serious pretty quickly. So serious that (Y/N) was packing up her things and leaving her London apartment for Small Heath after only six months of knowing Tommy.
Some might think it was crazy; that things were moving much too fast. But (Y/N) had never felt so sure of doing something in her life.
Which made what was happening now hurt so much more. But she needed to keep walking. She'd done the right thing.
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Tommy placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it with a match before taking a deep drag from it and exhaling slowly. The sealed letter sat on the table in front of him. He stared at it for a few moments before pressing the thumb and index fingers of his free hand against his eyelids, hoping it would alleviate some of the pressure he'd been feeling.
"I made you up some tea," Ada's voice broke through the silence, and the sound of glass being set on the table he was working at made Tommy lift his head again.
He nodded as a thank you before bringing the cigarette back up to his lips again. He then stamped it out in the ashtray while exhaling the smoke slowly.
"I heard everything that was said, you know," she said then, moving over to one of the chairs so that she could sit. "What were you thinking, Tommy?" she asked with raised eyebrows, her eyes zeroed in on her brother.
Tommy sighed, rolling his eyes as he looked off to the far wall. He didn't need anymore of this right now.
"She was my friend first. She was the only person who cared about me when I moved here. She helped me through a lot. I'm not going to let you ruin her for your stupid ambitions," Ada had no problem speaking her mind and letting him know how wrong he was for responding to (Y/N) the way he did.
Tommy pulled the timepiece from his pocket and checked it before letting out a sigh and returning it back to its place. "I need to leave," he told Ada before lifting the cup and downing the beverage in one go. In hindsight he was thankful that it wasn’t scorching hot. "Thanks for the tea," he said to her as he set the empty cup back down.
Nothing more was said as Tommy stood from the chair he was sitting on. He looked to Ada as he pulled the jacket he'd been wearing back on over his shoulders. She was glaring at him, hoping that he'd have something - anything - more to add to the conversation.
It became apparent that he didn't when he started for the archway. So Ada left him with one last statement: "please don't let her go, Tommy. We all need her." There was a quiet desperation now present in her eyes, one Tommy wasn't sure what to say in response to.
So he nodded and turned to exit the home, heading right to the car he parked a few streets down.
Truthfully what he wanted to do right now was head back to Birmingham and stop (Y/N) from leaving, to tell her that she was more important than any plan he could ever put into place. He knew she was justified in saying everything that she had.
But it was too late to do that now. Tommy knew that there'd be men searching for him by the end of the day if he stepped away from the plan this late into it. At least now he had some sort of control over the outcome of his life. And he was going to try like hell to stay alive...because now he had someone to stay alive for.
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The house on Watery Lane was quiet when Tommy stepped into it later that evening. The fire in the main room was still lit, but he couldn't quite remember if they'd put enough wood on to keep it going prior to leaving that morning. So judging (Y/N)'s presence based on that could have surely given false hope.
He took his overcoat off and hung it on one of the hooks by the door. The suit jacket followed after, and he draped that over one of the chairs in the sitting room as he walked through it.
No one was downstairs, but he hadn't expected anyone to be at this time of night.
He quietly walked up the steps and down the hall to the bedroom that he and (Y/N) shared. He paused at the closed door, taking a moment both to steady himself; to regroup from the day's events, and to prepare himself for the possibility that he may be opening the door to an empty room.
After inhaling and exhaling deeply, he turned the knob and opened the door. The first thing he noticed was the lit candle on the bedside table. Seeing it made all of his worries dissipate. (Y/N) had a habit of lighting them and then falling asleep.
Looking slightly to the right, he found the woman that hadn't left his mind since she left him in Ada's sitting room. She was laying on her side, facing the wall, telling him that she was sleeping.
Slowly, quietly he began ridding himself of his outer layers. It wasn't until he moved over to the dresser that he noticed the bags sitting on the floor. They were packed. It was easy to see that, even in the candlelight. He looked back to (Y/N) then, putting the pieces together in his mind. She was going to leave...but something made her stay.
Now only wearing his undergarments, he made his way over to the bed. Hesitation overcame him again. Should he lay with her? Should he go back downstairs? She was in her spot, tucked up against the wall so that enough room was present for him on the small bed they shared.
A few moments passed before he made his decision, lifting the covers and slowly slipping underneath them. He laid on his back for a short time before turning onto his side so that he was facing her sleeping frame. Another bout of hesitation filled him, but he didn't let it stick for too long as he gently draped his arm over her midsection.
That was when (Y/N) let out the shaky breath she'd been holding in from the moment she heard the door open. She was awake the entire time.
"Are you still awake, love?" Tommy asked in a whisper.
"Yes," she breathed out, her voice wavering.
"You've been crying," he pointed out, able to read her like an open book.
"I didn't know if I'd see you again," she answered him, choking up as she spoke.
"I'm here," he assured her, his arm wrapping tighter around her body.
(Y/N) didn't say anything in response. Instead tears fell from her eyes as she held her breath, trying not to make it noticeable that she was crying. But Tommy was able to feel how her body was shaking.
"Turn and look at me," he said quietly, a soft demand that took her a few moments to comply with. Her tear-stained face became visible in the candlelight when she did, and seeing it broke Tommy's heart. "C'mere," he breathed, allowing her to move even closer to him so that he could engulf her in his embrace.
"No one knew where you were, Tommy," she whispered once she was finally able to get words out again. "I thought..." she paused, not even wanting to say what she was thinking, "I thought the worst."
"I'm sorry you had to think that way, darlin'," he murmured, stroking the back of her head slowly. He held her close until her body stopped shaking, giving her the time she needed. He didn't speak until she lifted her head from the crook of his neck. "Better?" he asked in a whisper, peering down to see that her eyes were still closed.
"Slightly," she breathed out a response. "I'm relieved that you're home. Is..." she paused, seeming like she was looking for the words to say next, "is it finished?"
"It's finished," he answered in a definitive tone, nodding his head as best he could.
(Y/N) let out a shaky breath upon hearing his response, feeling as if the rest of the weight had lifted from her chest. She slowly opened her eyes and looked right into his. "I was going to leave," she started, watching Tommy's brows furrow together in the candlelight, "but I realized that this is part of the life I chose with you. That this is the type of work you carry out, and that I can either fight you on it or support you the best that I could. I also realized that my desire to be with you is so much greater than the worry that your work creates." Her eyes didn't stray from his as she spoke. Watching his hardened blue irises soften as he took in her words was enough to fill her heart to the brim with love.
Tommy took a moment to soak in her words. He moved his hand from behind her head so that he could gently trace the line of her jaw with his thumb. Taking in a deep breath, he knew what he had to do. Searching her eyes for a few seconds longer, he thought of the words he wanted to say.
"I thought I could lose everything and be totally fine with it," he began, clearing his throat in hopes that she wouldn't notice the fact that his voice was breaking. She noticed. "But then you came along...and now I see how wrong I was."
"Tommy," she breathed, taken back by his admission.
"I had nothing to live for up until you, (Y/N)," he admitted, not holding anything back now, "and I promise you now that things will change... that there’ll be no more of these plans. I don't want to have the possibility of an outcome that doesn't include you in it."
(Y/N)'s mind was swirling. It had been a rollercoaster of a day, she still couldn't quite believe the change of events that had happened. But she was so very thankful that things had ended up with Tommy by her side again.
"I love you, Tommy," she whispered, a smile tugging the corners of her lips upwards.
"I love you, (Y/N)," he repeated the phrase, his expression mirroring hers as he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers in a passionate kiss.
Now that he had her again, he knew that he could never let her go. What he'd told Michael earlier in the evening would soon be true: he was going to ask (Y/N) to marry him.
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