#this thing might LITERALLY get me killed

[accimaginaryescapades]

Yeah I don't need tech trying to 'fix' my things for me either It Sucks At It!

I am mad about cellphone cameras hiding the processing they do, and I am glad about software that lets me control it and opt in and out, and I dictated this rant on insta so I am resharing the images here and will attempt to turn this into a useful text post on my blog in future, when my hand is working better 🤘👍

[lucabyte]

i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

[scriblesandbits]

So god created us in his image, right? And that’s cool and all but what if it turns out god, like, hates his own image??? What then????

[corseque]

I honestly just wanted one single plot step that I could not predict given the 10 year wait. More behind the cut, I talk about Emet too, and I'm comparing his writing favorably to Solas' writing and why it worked better for me personally, but I am just talking about the writing skill that went into the games and not the dudes themselves, I love them both dearly of course. idk this is a mess and I am not going to edit it for clarity

For me, the game was a series of me saying

"ok I knew that. cool."

"oh yeah, I knew that. I guess it's good that the larger fandom knows about that now."

"nice, but yeah I already knew that too"

"that was something we've been talking about a lot for years"

"this thing they are acting like is a huge enormous reveal that the characters could not possibly have deduced through simply thinking about it in depth over the 10 years... the fans easily figured out by thinking about it in depth 10 years ago. So you would think his girlfriend would be able to figure it out more easily than we did. Like, why couldn't the game have been like 'oh lavellan already figured that out a while ago' it would have cost them nothing"

"this is something I've been thinking about for years, and now that it's being revealed, the companions' reactions to it are very irritating and jarring and unnecessary and I really dislike the experience I'm having right now, in this, the hour of my greatest triumph"

"this thing that is happening on my screen right now is something that I wrote an essay about 2 years ago describing how it would be a letdown if it happened without the correct setup"

"this way that they're characterizing Solas makes him less likable and less interesting than I have been finding him for all these years, and I have had people tell me 'no, he's simpler than you think' for years but I guess I was wrong, he really is simpler than I thought, so that fucking sucks. I wish I could take that information out of my brain."

"this thing is a retcon of information I have been thinking about for 10 years, and so I don't know how to follow along with this new direction, and I'm not sure if I even want to because it's not particularly interesting anyway"

"aw that was sweet"

"why is it like, so very impossible to have an honest back-and-forth with my favorite character about the dilemma that was most interesting to me about the previous game"

and then, as soon as, like, the other fans had caught up to the Solas lore that was really obvious from the other games, the game was.... over without anything surprising happening, or introducing a new element or plot point or perspective, or a real true twist (or two, or three) for those of us who have thought about it too hard for too long. It was very simple and easy, much, much, much, much easier than I was imagining. It all felt sort of like that Nicholson quote:

The thing was, the whole story was so interesting to think about because in 10 years, I couldn't figure out a good solution to it!!!!! It's why I was never able to write post-game fanfic about it. So I was stoked to find out some reveal we never knew about, some new information, in maybe a SERIES of steps of new information, that made the situation more complicated but also something that could be navigated by everyone involved. I know it was asking for a lot, but they had TEN YEARS, and they seemingly had set up the things they did in DAI on purpose, so surely they had some idea of a complex and satisfying narrative that would reconcile everyone.

The reason why I was expecting this is because FFXIV did a very similar story arc, which was started AND concluded WITHIN those 10 years (so it took the FFXIV team far less time to deliver as well). And the conclusion to the story in FFXIV did what I was expecting Dragon Age to do. So I thought, "holy shit, if this is the FFXIV version of this plot, how much more complicated is DA4 going to be!?!?" The DA devs also PLAYED FFXIV so they were completely aware, several years ago, of a satisfying story ending that was pretty darn similar.

People are probably going to think "oh, well Chelsea was disappointed because she spent too much time building it up in her head" but that's exactly it - I actually speculated and thought about FFXIV's story IN DEPTH NONSTOP for a year+ before its ending came out, and the ending absolutely blew me away. FFXIV Endwalker managed to introduce information and new story elements that I was not able to figure out in the YEAR I spent speculating on the ending of FFXIV's story. It took a complicated situation and revealed several several more facets to it that I was not able to predict, but were very interesting and thematically compelling, and took us all to surprising and climactic places that we could not have predicted.

Endwalker ("end" is in the title on purpose) too, was written to be THE ULTIMATE SATISFYING ENDING for a very long-running story in the exactly way that Veilguard SHOULD HAVE for Dragon Age, so while this complexity is being explored, FFXIV also gave catharsis to many different plot threads that have been built up through the previous expansions, until finally it ends with a bang. The story is desperately good to me, I loved it, it gave me closure for Dragon Age long before Veilguard was even revealed, and going back and looking at its story has made this whole thing far less painful for me.

So, I actually did not have a picture in my mind for how things SHOULD go. I just had the thought "I hope it's complicated and there are points of view or facts that we haven't before been exposed to, and the situation is resolved respectfully for Solas, not making him look like a fucking idiot (lol, the only thing I asked for). I don't even care what happens to Solas and Lavellan, I just need the story to be complicated and interesting to think about. Please, god, don't let it be "solas is wrong and he just needs to be convinced" because that's like the simplest story you could tell with this setup"

(btw they managed to tell Emet-Selch's story without making him seem like he's being an idiot on purpose or can never get anything right, and in fact the more the story goes on, the more you think of him as smart and capable and cool, so it is possible to write.... I wasn't asking for the entire moon)

And I played it and... yeah. Most of the story beats were more simple than I wanted them to be, a lot of them didn't make sense in my heart given the writing from Inquisition. (This is another essay, but if Solas' thematic story arc was always about him needing to let go of regrets, why was his personal quest the way it was? After that quest, doesn't he end up regretting not doing more....? Why did he never really talk about regret during Inquisition? If he was so trapped by regret, why was he able to do so many actions? It doesn't mesh well to me. The whole regret thing was very quarter-baked to me, I don't even like thinking about it.) His story never seemed like one that was as simple as being about one man's regrets, but then, I guess, it was always just about one man's regrets.

Emet-Selch's personal storyline (and the way it interacts with and affects the larger story) is very similar but much more cohesive and satisfying to me. It would be difficult to explain why without the aforementioned 5-hour essay. Emet-Selch's story IS about grief and anguish on a world-shaping scale in a similar way that Solas' was apparently always about letting go of regret, but Emet's story was also very pointedly and beautifully about that one theme for the entirety of his story from every tiny detail, from beginning to end - meanwhile, it seemed to me that they tried to introduce 'regret' as the main thrust of Solas' story only in the short story with the Regret demon onward.

From Inquisition just by itself, the closest I personally could get to a story theme for Solas was his inability to trust others hurting him and the world, but his trusting others in DA4 wasn't really addressed to my satisfaction. He is never required to trust anyone before the ending, he never opens up or makes himself vulnerable at all. People find out information about him, he never really dynamically opens himself. So the personal story I thought he had was never addressed at all, while a new one about regret was introduced that never made a ton of sense to me. And I don't think this is just because of my expectations - my reaction to FFXIV proves that I am able to meet good writing where it goes in surprising directions, as long as it's interesting and thoughtful and clear.

And I think this might be part of what people felt was off about the ending - Solas is sort of uninvolved in the revelations that are about him, and doesn't do much to be part of his own ending. Part of what I loved about Solas in Inquisition is that he is not controlled by you in any way, and so he feels like his own person with a very strong sense of character.

Anyway, Emet-Selch, in a very comparable and arguably more extreme plot position, is very involved in the revelations about himself, he always feels like a very strong character who cannot be affected by the player, and the whole situation is handled with deft emotion and care and delicacy. The story is comparatively very uninterested in litigating Emet-Selch or putting him on trial - the story allows you to simply feel the way that you feel in an organic way, and Emet's story spends that energy instead actually exploring his thematic material about grief and legacy, and the larger story theme of existentialism instead, in a way that is very refreshing and interesting. I've seen a lot of western stories tie themselves in knots over "redemption" and frankly it's almost never been interesting at all. Who cares about any of that. lol

(Now, I guess this is a matter of preference, because some people really like being able to shape a character's story, but idk I rewatched the ending of FFXIV and even though there wasn't a choice with Emet, because it isn't a branching story, his story felt more satisfying to me, maybe because there isn't a patronizing choice to be made for him. He is who he is, and he fulfills a very beautiful narrative role and purpose that no other character could in the story.)

I don't know how this could have been improved to me and still allowed players to choose Solas' ending for him, but I can actually think of a few different methods, none of which involve Rook condescendingly and patronizingly lecturing Solas as if Solas had never thought about a single aspect of this horrible situation he's in before that very moment that Rook lectures him lmfao.

All this to say... idk I'm writing this and I am not going back to edit it so it's stream-of-consciousness. But yeah

I just wanted the story to be complicated on a few more levels than I could have predicted. I genuinely don't care what happened, but I thought of a few twists like the Veil coming down and yeah, I was expecting A Single Twist or reveal to happen. In a Dragon Age game.

I wanted Solas to seem cool and capable and noble and smart, and actually feel like he was as old and experienced as he is.

I wanted a clear theme I could sink my teeth into

Like notice I didn't even say anything about Solavellan. Like I never in 100 years thought they were getting a happy ending where they were both alive in bodies, and I like that we got that, but I would honestly trade it for a more complicated story. To me, if a story is sad you can always write fanfic, but if a story isn't COMPLICATED, that's a much more urgent issue.

These 3 things DA4 didn't give me in a way that satisfied me but FFXIV did. anyway idk the way my hyperfixations work, I completely switch to a new subject so talking about Dragon Age is actually hard for me right now.

[d8tl55c]

oh boy !! ! ! ! !!! ! thANK y0u all for the kind words on my last art posts. you all get it and i was/still am so happy about it

as promised, here's some close-ups of the comic for image quality's sake, and other screenshots i rescued from the community whiteboard (and something else)

first up another sketch of mystery gender-ambiguous being. (please send me more name ideas for them if you got one- i like to hear em! (reminder it's the side character that appeared for <10 seconds in AvM Ep. 30))

a few fav scenes

emotional support cwab

they weren't meant for this purpose exactly, but i do have countless "fluffy sticks" loose in my notes and homework sheets from the school years.

papery critter.

even when i wasn't confident in fur or feathers, they helped me practice posing and create some satisfying gradients/flowing poses. (im a sucker for good tail poses) (oh yay! i found a good pic...)

and finally, little sneak peak for you for reading so far ;3

i realized that whiteboardfox is pretty great for my working needs. simple and to the point and all. feels nice with the mouse and the tablet.

so i started hashing out a big project idea just to see if it holds up and

[

several hours later ...

]

oh

oh man

it's a little bigger than i expected

<next>

[dumyhead]

caine tadc hnnnnnngnnhh

[eleventhsister]

why are they so hard to draw

[saffitaffi]

So I just read all 914 pages of Fool’s Fate in one day. I don’t think I’ve ever read that much in one day ever. These books are so good holy snickerdoodles I love the politics and the amazing worldbuilding (robin writes matriarchies and different societal structures SO GOOD) and the realistic characters and Fitz’s unreliable narration and also the gay ass ‘friendship’ between him and the fool (fitz ‘no homo but also my bond with you is deeper than my love for anyone else including my other half bonded wolf and my wife and also sex’ farseer)

So uh. Yeah. Excuse me while I go cry in the corner. Again.

[azureblooet]

Separate cotl opinion/headcanon

The fight with Nari was not close. The Lamb kicked his ass.

thats all thanks for coming

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

[concrete-3ater]

if I had a nickel for every time I was in a fandom and a child character had a breakdown and did something that accidentally hurt another character, and then the fandom all turned on the character and vilified them because they [the fandom] can’t understand that sometimes 14 year olds make mistakes when they’re going through something traumatic, I would have 2 nickels

not a lot but it really is weird it happened twice

[azrail-has-a-vendetta]

do you ever think that Epic Odysseus spends a good deal of time trying to be extra “greet the world with open arms” after the war because he can’t look at the world the same way when there is a crying in his ears? He sees the blood streaming down the giants face and all he can see is the crushed and bloody and small body? That every time he thinks of his son, his tiny heart beating in his arms, he hears the heartbeat that rang in his ears as he held a swaddle of cloth over a wall, trying not to think about what lay inside? As he spare another life he thinks about the one he didn’t? As they sail through the underworld there is a form the swirls along side the others, one that he purposefully doesn’t acknowledge, a tiny thing wailing and oh gods it sounds like his son. And then he stops, he decides to “be the monster” and he stops holding the infant, he finally drops it and the blood on his hands is brighter and it won’t come off and he can’t touch his son cause he might drop him too. But Telemachus isn’t a baby, the crying sound is just in his head, besides Odysseus couldn’t hold his son like that anymore. Odysseus is a different man, and stopped trying to balance the universe by saving another when he already has so much blood on his hands. What is another drop going to do?

or are you normal?

[lobotomy-lady]

throw back to when a local pitmommy launched a freakishly long lasting campaign against me on nextdoor bc I told her I didn't wanna sit for her XL rescue bully, & also that it's heinously irresponsible to keep that thing in the house with her toddlers. I literally referred her to countless news stories of little kids being mauled by dogs they raised lovingly since they were puppies-let alone her giant beast that was quite possibly raised in some depraved dogfighting ring (though I'm sure the fuckass animal shelter tried to say it was a "bait dog" lol. newsflash, these dogs always go for the kill when theyre set off, if it was a meek little bait dog it would be dead). she literally implied I'm a racist (yes, really) for not wanting to read about her kids horrible painful deaths in the paper. she was like "I don't care about the stats, it's still 1 in 10,000 chance" hello?? if a plane had a 1 in 10,000 chance of crashing would you put your daughters on it or would you choose another goddamn airline that only has a 1 in a million chance of crashing???? fucks sakes

I truly don't understand why these people won't just get a fucking lab or a golden or any of the numerous breeds that are proven to be FAR less likely to snap & kill people out of nowhere. there is nothing you can get from a pit that you can't get from any other breed. I have a theory that they just want to feel like heroes for "saving" a dog that the evil bigots like me would refuse to adopt for silly reasons, like not wanting my family to be mauled. lol

[hanzajesthanza]

we need some more of those geralt’s company journeying through the marshland “what-if”s: the alternate routes they had expected or planned for, but ultimately didn’t take.

like what if: milva decided to go through with the abortion, and had to wait it out in a village as she expected. natural abortifacients are pretty brutal, and what follows, too, so regis would have had to stay with her, potentially splitting the company? or would the rest of the company also set down their quest for weeks and stayed with her. and villages at this time were none-too-safe either, what with the nilfgaardian invasion…

or what if: they indeed went through ysgith as previously planned. would dandelion have gotten eaten by a man-eating orchid? would milva still have miscarried, but this time from being exposed to poison gas? how would have geralt’s animosity and distrust towards cahir played out when things hungering for human flesh are all around them and it would be really easy to push him into that swamp? how would the pain in geralt’s knee play out in this humid environment? would they get a free pass by some monsters, if regis looked back behind the company with a stern, disapproving expression?

or what if: they couldn’t all cross the jaruga like geralt expected, and according to his plan, he and regis had to be the only ones that crossed and ventured on, alone together to go see the druids (which were farther away than they planned)? what would have happened to milva, cahir, and dandelion, left behind? if they didn’t participate in the battle of the bridge, then the rivian troops would have fled, and so nilfgaard wouldn’t have been driven back from the jaruga—affecting trade routes as the war carried on?

or what if: they didn’t stop in riedbrune and were not warned of the attack, and went straight to belhaven, walking right into the planned ambush by nightingale? would angoulême have indeed shot geralt in the back with a crossbow? or would his witcher senses have allowed him to pre-empt the attack? what if they really got captured by nilfgaardian agents then?

what if they never stayed in beauclair, or left early as geralt had inclined. they would have all frozen to death in the mountain passes (or, well, all of them save for regis, who is invulnerable to freezing)

there were a lot of uncertainties along their journey.

[elizabeth-mitchells]

i literally cant sleep because im too angry because letterboxd reminded me of that stupid fucking list "there was love but oh the circumstances :(" that included Carol with a whole bunch of tragedies like. DID YOU MISS THE ENDING OF THE MOVIE???

[starbuck]

you know, No Children put the Mountain Goats on the map as THE divorce band, but i really think that’s doing They Might Be Giants an injustice… They’ll Need a Crane and Narrow Your Eyes are both EXCELLENT divorce bops and I’ve Got A Match is EASILY as devastating as the most depressing tMG divorce song.