#this thing itself is actually super solid though

[minisugakoobies]

Whipped | KMG

Pairing: Mingyu x GNReader (no agab)

Genre: fluff, idiots to lovers, slightly crack-ish, non-idol!AU

Rating: T

Warnings: Mingyu's a stubborn idiot, but he's also the softest human alive, Minghao's kind of a jerk tbh, use of they/them pronouns for reader, this is honestly just fluffy nonsense meant to give you warm fuzzies

Word Count: 3.9k

Disclaimers: Obviously I don’t own SVT - they just inspire me

Summary: No matter what his friends say, Mingyu is definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent not whipped for you.

A/N: Yep, another Mingyu fic. I can't help it. 🤷‍♀️

Unbeta’d as usual. If you liked this, please let me know! I’d love to hear what you think (but please be kind I’m fragile 🥺) 💕

SVT Masterlist 💜 Main Masterlist

Kim Mingyu is not whipped.

This is what he forcefully reminds himself when you walk into Minghao’s party, looking sweeter than a spring day, a phrase which if he’s being honest is maybe a little more poetic than he’d normally use. That’s okay. He can be a little dramatic if he wants. Why not? Seokmin does it all the time and no one bats an eye.

In any case. Mingyu is not whipped.

That’s why he turns his head, pretending he doesn’t see you dazzle everyone around you with your beautiful smile. While he’s pretending, he also acts like he can’t feel his own lips tug upwards at the soft chime of your laughter, a Pavlovian response to your happiness. No, his smile is unrelated to whatever you’re doing. He’s just in a good mood, one that didn’t suddenly ascend to the heavens when you entered the room.

Mingyu’s not whipped.

He sinks further into the couch where he’s sitting, a little off to the side of where Minghao, Jeonghan, and Seokmin are talking. Theoretically, he’s part of the conversation, adding the occasional hum or laugh, but he’s really not contributing much of anything. He’s too busy thinking about you. Not like that. 

(But not not like that, either.) 

In any case, Mingyu remains firmly unwhipped - solid, unshaken, definitely not falling apart over you. He’ll be absolutely fine, as long as you stay on the other side of the room, where your charms can’t reach him. Except that he can’t stop watching you, and now you’re looking at him, and even though he averts his eyes, it’s too late. He can sense you walking towards him, his heartbeat increasing with every step you take.

Not. Whipped. 

“Hey there, stranger.” 

Instinctively, at the sound of your voice, he glances up at you, like a flower tilting its face towards your light. He nods at your greeting, mumbling a hello of his own. The others sitting around him all greet you as well, but you merely nod in reply, your full attention on Mingyu. 

“Do you wanna tell me why you’ve been avoiding me?”

If Mingyu had a list of things he loved about you, which he does not, being straightforward would be near the top. Of this totally fictional list that does not exist. He admires it, actually, the way you have no patience for dishonesty or deception.

Even though your question is blunt, your smile remains soft as you wait for his response, and Mingyu rethinks his ranking. Item number one on that imaginary list - the way you smile, at him, specifically. It’s so warm, like being hugged by the rays of the sun itself. It makes him happier than he ever thought possible. He wants to curl up like a cat and bask in the feeling. If he’s not careful, he might start purring right now.

He’s totally super normal about you.

“Me?” he asks, stalling for time, praying that a somewhat reasonable explanation falls into his lap in the meantime. He’s only a fair-to-moderate bullshitter, so his hopes are low. He can feel the others staring at the two of you, very obviously listening, because no one in your friend group seems to respect boundaries. It’s not helping. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” you chirp back, and he does, he knows exactly what you mean, just like you know exactly what he’s doing. “You’ve been ignoring my texts. What’s going on?”

What’s going on is that Mingyu is not whipped, even if it feels like his insides are turning to melty goo beneath your inquisitive gaze. 

“I’m not ignoring you. I’ve just been busy,” he shoots, aiming for breezy and landing just shy of nonchalant. 

“Busy doing what?” 

“You know. Stuff.” Oh god, he really sucks at this. “And things.” Jesus Christ.

You fold your arms, and Mingyu thinks it’s cute the way you’re squinting at him, one eye closed as you assess his response. Unbearably cute, actually, and getting worse the longer it goes on.

“Yeahhhh, that’s not good enough,” you inform him, and with one hand on his arm (Mingyu ignores the electric current that lights up his nervous system when you touch him. It’s just static and definitely not anything else), you pull him to his feet and lead him out of Minghao’s apartment and into the empty hallway. He follows, not because he’d follow you anywhere, but because he’s curious.

Once the door is closed behind you, you turn to him, a serious expression on your face. “Gyu. Be honest with me.” Always, he thinks reflexively. “This is about what those guys said the other night, isn’t it?” 

Of course you know exactly what it is that has his head spinning right now. The two of you have been friends for ages, but Mingyu still can’t get over how easily you always seem to read him. 

A few nights ago, Mingyu and you had been out to dinner with a few others, and it had been like any other time you were hanging out with your friends, lots of laughing and teasing and just being happy dumbasses together. Only on this particular evening, the food had taken a very long time to arrive, but the drinks kept coming in the meanwhile, and you’d gotten a little drunker than usual, and a little clingier, sticking to Mingyu like a magnet.

Not that Mingyu minded having you hanging on his side all night. Nor did he mind keeping a close eye on you, making sure you were drinking your water and eating to help soak up some of the alcohol. None of that bothered him at all - you were his best friend; why wouldn’t he take care of you? Especially when you smiled at him and thanked him for being so sweet, so good to you, over and over.

(He can’t even begin to explain how that made him feel.)

The others noticed. And commented. Mingyu tried to ignore them, but they just wouldn’t shut up. By the time they joked that Mingyu was your trained puppy, suggesting you buy him a pretty collar and a leash to go with it, he’d had enough.

And when he tried to express that, Minghao had shut him down with a scoff, a wave of his hand, and one word. 

“Whipped.” 

Mingyu admits that he’s a lot of things, but he’s not a whipped man. He’s not. He’s not, no matter what the others say. No matter how you’re looking at him right now, concern etched all over your lovely face, lip tucked between your teeth as you wait for his answer. He’s strong. And proud. 

(And maybe a stubborn idiot, but that’s neither here nor there.)

He considers just not responding at all, but he knows how persistent you are, so he settles for a half-shrug. You sigh, leaning back against the wall, arms crossing in front of you. 

“You’re being ridiculous, you know that?” you say softly, shaking your head. “They were joking. They said so! And you know I didn’t take it seriously for a second.” 

“You didn’t hear everything they said!” he protests, crossing his own arms. You’d missed most of the barbs flying his way that night, too busy enjoying yourself. Which weirdly made him happy. He hated the thought of those guys ruining your night. “They said I was your pet!” 

“So? Jeonghan always tells Seokmin he’s got the zoomies when he gets hyper. He knows he’s not actually a dog! It’s just stupid jokes! Our friends are dumb!” you laugh, throwing up your hands. “That’s what we like about them!”

Mingyu can’t help it, he starts to laugh with you, but then he catches himself, shaking his head. “You don’t get it.” 

“Then help me understand.” 

How can he help you understand, when he’s not entirely sure he understands it himself, this storm inside him, clouding his mind? 

“I…” He glances wildly around the hallway, but there’s nothing out here to help him. He can hear the bass from whatever song is playing inside the party, a low, steady thrumming that contrasts the erratic thumping of his heart. “I don’t like being called weak.”

You tilt your head. “Is that what they said?” 

“Yeah. Or I guess… they implied it. When they said I was whipped for you.” He lets out a frustrated sigh, knowing he’s pouting and it doesn’t help his defense, but it’s just his default setting. “But I’m not.” 

Because he’s staring into your eyes as he speaks, he catches it - the quick expression of sorrow that pinches your brow at his explanation - but it’s fleeting, gone in an instant. If he weren’t watching your face so intently, he would’ve missed it. 

“Gyu,” you sigh, the corners of your mouth lifting in what is clearly meant to be a smile, except it doesn’t reach your eyes, and for a moment, the confusing tide of emotions inside him still, and he feels only sadness. That’s not how you smile. “Can you please let it go? Everyone was being an idiot. That’s nothing new! Besides…” You trail off, staring at the floor.

He waits a beat. “Besides what?”

You huff and shrug. “It’s nothing, forget it.” 

The uncertainty in your tone unnerves Mingyu even more than your fake smile. Where’s that directness of yours? 

“No, tell me. Besides what?” 

With a deep breath, you look him straight in the eye. “Besides, I’m not delusional. I know you don’t like me like that. I’m not your type.” 

Your voice grows quieter at the end of your sentence, just as the music coming from the other side of the door fades out, and to Mingyu, the silence only amplifies your words, leaving them ringing loudly in his ears like a sonic boom. You’re not his type?

He blinks rapidly, as if that will somehow help. 

“You - you’re not - “ He pauses, searching fruitlessly for the end of his sentence, but it’s nowhere to be found.

“Right. I’m not.” 

The laugh you let out sounds so fake that he winces, and a terrible realization hits him. You’ve taken his stammering to be a complete thought - a confirmation of what you’d said, that you aren’t someone he’d like like that. Curling in on yourself, arms wrapping around your stomach, you shrink away from him, only a few inches but the distance feels so vast. 

“Let’s just forget about it, okay?” 

Mingyu’s speechless. As his silence grows, so does the space between the two of you, until you’re standing by the door, hand on the knob. He feels like he should be doing something right now, snapping into action of some sort, but his brain is still stuck on your declaration.

“Okay,” he finally croaks, because it’s clear that you’re waiting for him to speak, and he doesn’t know what else to do but agree with you, because you’re usually right and he usually agrees with you. 

“Right,” you say again, but you look slightly unsure, and it rattles Mingyu, making him feel even more unsettled than before. “Okay.” And then you open the door and slip back inside Minghao’s apartment.

Alone in the hallway, Mingyu slumps against the wall. Well. That was a spectacular failure. He’d tried to explain how their comments upset him and all he’d done was upset you. The shift in your demeanor was so obvious to him, a flashing neon sign basically screaming “you fucked up!” in blazing red light. 

He gives himself a minute to try to pull himself together, then he returns to the party. As soon as he’s inside, he scans the room, until he finds you standing in the corner, hanging out with another friend, Chan, talking and laughing like everything is fine. Which, as Mingyu feels deep in the pit of his stomach, he knows it is not. 

His previously vacated spot on the couch remains open, so he slips back into it, ignoring the curious looks of his friends. He doesn’t want to answer any stupid questions right now, doesn’t want to deal with any of their crap while he tries to wrap his head around what just happened in the hallway. 

Naturally, his friends immediately start nosing into his business.

“What was that all about?” Minghao asks, turning to face Mingyu. Seokmin and Jeonghan both twist towards him, eager to hear his answer. 

“What was what about?” Mingyu replies, eyes flitting to you again. Chan must be bringing his A game with his jokes tonight, because you’re giggling Mingyu’s favorite giggle, the one that makes your nose twitch like a little bunny’s. It always makes him swell with pride when he coaxes it out of you with one of his dumb jokes, so seeing it right now and knowing he’s not the cause of it, well, it’s not exactly helping improve his mood.

“What was that dramatic exit?” Minghao gestures towards the door. 

“It was nothing. We were just talking.” Again he looks at you. And again, your attention is focused solely on the man beside you. Mingyu doesn’t understand. Can’t you feel him looking at you? 

“Uh-huh. Sure,” Jeonghan drawls, miming the crack of a whip with his hand. Seokmin and Minghao crack up beside Mingyu, but he doesn’t care. He’s too busy trying to catch your eye. He wants to see you smile at him. Just one smile. That’s all he needs to make him feel better. 

His friends lose interest in teasing him when he doesn’t respond, and the conversation moves on. As does the evening. Mingyu bonds with the couch, not leaving except to grab refills of his drink, but otherwise he’s a fixed point in this party, unlike you, who are constantly moving, floating from friend to friend, spreading joy across the room.

Spreading joy to everyone except him, that is. No matter how much he watches you, your light never shines on him again, not like it did earlier. He knows what this is. You’re the one doing the avoiding now. And oh my god does he hate it. He feels cold and lonely, withering away, dying for your attention. For your affection. Because he needs it to thrive.

Oh. 

Oh wow, he’s stupid. The others are right. 

Kim Mingyu is whipped. 

For you, and you only. 

Like it has been every few minutes since he returned from the hallway, his gaze is drawn back to you, and this time, it’s different. Because the mask you’ve been wearing all night finally slips, and Mingyu sees the wrinkle of your brow, and the slight downturn of your mouth, and he understands. You’re just as miserable as he is.

That absolutely will not do. He needs to fix this right now.

Mingyu rises to his feet again, not even waiting for Minghao to finish the story he’s been telling, not that he’s been listening anyway, and starts walking towards you. When he’s a mere arm’s length away, it occurs to him that he doesn’t have any plan, just an urgent need to make you look happy again. And also pay attention to him, because he needs your attention just like he needs you, so he panics, and grabs your hand. 

You look at him in surprise as his fingers slip between yours.

“Come with me. Please,” he adds, a bit hasty in his anxiousness, already tugging you out of the room and into the hallway. A pair of voices follow you both out, as Minghao and Jeonghan both jeer loudly at the sight of Mingyu dragging you away, but thankfully the door drowns them out, letting only the beat of the music through.   Which would be a good thing, except that now it’s just Mingyu and a very quiet you. With your hand still in his. 

“Is everything o-”

“You are my type.” 

You start speaking at the same time he does, but he’s louder, blurting his entire sentence out before you can finish yours. Your mouth freezes in an ‘o,’ and oh, Mingyu can’t believe what a dumbass he’s been for so long. How did everyone else see it but him? 

“I just. Wanted you to know. That you are the type of person. That I like.” Why can’t. He complete. A whole sentence? “Smart, funny, gorgeous….” 

You glance away from him, suddenly shy at that last word, and it just reinforces Mingyu’s point. 

Unfortunately, it does not make it any easier for him to say what he’s trying to say.

“But you’re not just my type? You’re the person I like. Hao’s right. They’re all right. I am whipped for you.” He frowns. “Damn it, I hate it when Hao’s right.” 

That makes you laugh, a quick “ha!” that makes your eyes light up, and Mingyu finds himself feeling stronger, so he doubles down. Might as well own it. 

“But he did, he got this one right. I’m down bad.” He brings your entwined hands up, clutching them in front of him, maybe pressing his luck a little, maybe laying it on thick, but it’s barely an exaggerated version of the truth if it’s not pure simple fact. 

“‘Gyu,” you groan, rolling your eyes, but there’s a twitch in the corner of your mouth that won’t cease, and it makes his heart sing. “Knock it off. I know what you’re doing.”

“I don’t think you do.” He takes a deep breath and steps forward, backing you into the wall behind you. Your hands are caught between you, and he presses the palm of yours against his chest, wondering if you feel the spike in his heartbeat when you inhale sharply. 

“Maybe you should tell me,” you say, eyes wide but voice calm, and again, he marvels at how you strike straight at the heart of the matter, and he decides he can do the same. 

“I’m telling you that I like you.”

The next few seconds are the longest in Mingyu’s life. Nothing has ever lasted this long in the history of time. Entire civilizations are built and fall within the blink of your eyelashes. You keep looking back and forth between his eyes, and he hopes that you see whatever it is you need to believe him, and tries his best to convey clearly what he feels. Even if he’s having trouble speaking his thoughts, at least his gaze can express it. 

“You like me…” 

He nods. “A lot.” Now that he’s said it out loud, it’s hitting him just how much.  

“You like me…” you start again slowly, frowning slightly, “but you don’t like it when others point that out?” 

“I just - “ Mingyu breaks off, a sharp puff of breath exploding out in frustration. How to explain it? “I didn’t like them saying it the way they did. It… it made me feel like they were calling me weak or something.” Your frown deepens and he stumbles on. “But - but that’s stupid, and I know it’s stupid. And I - I don’t care anymore.” 

He clings to your hands, a lifeboat in a sea of turmoil, the warmth of your fingers locked between his giving him hope that this isn’t going completely downhill, this sudden confession of his. It’d be just like him to ruin this with his impatience. He’s always too eager. 

“So what do you care about?” you ask, gaze burning into his. 

And then there’s you. Always so calm and direct. God, he adores you. 

“You. How you feel.” 

As soon as the words leave his lips, you lower your eyes, in the briefest of glances at his mouth, and Mingyu feels that electric shock again, tingling all the way to his fingertips. He barely breathes as he waits for you to speak.

“If you really are whipped for me,” you finally say, “you should go tell them that.” You jerk your chin in the direction of the door.

If that’s what you want, then that’s what he’ll do. Without a second’s hesitation, Mingyu spins, his hand gripping yours to pull you back into the apartment with him. 

Seokmin gawks openly as Mingyu stomps across the room. Minghao and Jeonghan exchange a glance that last night would’ve set Mingyu spiraling, but now rolls off him like water. Mingyu comes to a stop directly in front of his friends, squaring his shoulders, trying frantically to corral his thoughts into something coherent. 

But before he can open his mouth, Minghao leans forward, placing his chin in his hand. “Shhh, guys, I think the puppy’s going to speak!” 

“Hao, shut the fuck up.” 

Minghao bristles when Mingyu snaps at him. Jeonghan and Seokmin both cackle, but then Mingyu glares at the two of them, and they fall silent. He takes a deep breath. 

“I just wanted you to know that I don’t care what you guys say about me anymore, because I like YN.” 

The words spill out of him so easily, not even the tiniest nudge needed. He glances at you to find you wearing a delighted expression and his heart goes buoyant again. He decides to ride the wave. 

“They’re amazing. I’d do anything to make them smile, so if that makes me whipped, then I guess I’m fucking whipped.” 

He’s facing you now, not caring if the others can see the obvious lovestruck look in his eye as he keeps talking, not to them, but to you. Aware that they’re probably all smirking at one another, because they figured it out before he did, but he doesn’t give a single goddamn. 

“I can’t get enough of their smile. And the way they laugh. I like how sweet they are. How honest.” Mingyu can’t stop talking at this point. It’s all gotta come out. “But never mean about it. Even when it’s something you don’t want to hear. Especially when it’s something you need to hear.” 

Your hand twitches in his with every sentence he states. He squeezes back gently as his statements get louder.

“I’m not kidding when I say I’d do anything to make them smile. I’d walk the ocean floor for them. Climb a volcano and surf the lava down barefoot. Capture a star fr-”

“Oh my god, we get it, you like them!” Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “Enough with the bad poetry.” 

“Also? We know.” Minghao snorts. “No need for the dramatic announcement, it’s not news.” 

Mingyu barely hears him, too lost in the way you’re smiling at him now. Forget his earlier rankings. This smile beats all the others. Shoots directly to the top of the list, which, now that he thinks about it, he kinda wants to write down and give to you, maybe framed. Or maybe he’ll stick it on his fridge - with a heavy magnet, of course, because it’s such a long list.

He completely loses all interest in the rest of the room, even though he’s pretty sure most of the party is staring at the two of you. Instead, he finds himself hanging anxiously on the breath you take, hoping for you to say something, to give him an indication of where things stand between you now. Because he knows you’ll be straightforward and get right to the point, whatever’s on your mind. 

You step closer, close enough for him to feel your soft laugh on his lips as you give him a look that sends his pulse rocketing. You’ve never looked at him like this before.

Forget a list. He’s gonna write a whole book. 

“Come on, whipped boy. Take me home.”

If you liked this fic, please consider reblogging! Likes do not help it get seen by other readers. 💕

© 2024 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost. I do not allow translations of my work.

[predalien]

I got you covered. 👍 (I almost didn’t catch this as it came from my main blog—so, just a reminder, please send yautja related asks over here.)

I got a little carried away with this one, especially the pup part. So sorry! 😩

Thicc s/o version

Yautja with a leaner/petite S/O headcanons

Now, this is how you impress a yautja. I mean, let’s face it, no matter how big of a human you are, a yautja will always be stronger, and most definitely bigger than you. So a leaner or more petite S/O will most likely catch a yautja’s attention under the circumstances of you being able to fight off larger enemies and protecting yourself.

They won’t necessarily try to fight or spar with you as much, but they’ll probably throw you around and manhandle you a little bit. I’m sorry, lol. You’re just so light, to them at least. How could they not play a game of football with you as the ball? Of course they won’t be super aggressive with you, they’re aware you’re smaller and therefore you could possibly break easier. But it’s still fun to them to throw you up in the air and watch you yell in annoyance at them. 🤷‍♀️

If you’re a solider, hunter, or warrior of some type already, they’ll send you into the small spaces and crevices they couldn’t reach. Just because they couldn’t catch that that tiny alien warthog that burrowed itself in the small crevices of a cave doesn’t mean that you can’t catch it, right? That’s right ooman, just chase it out and I’ll spear it! (They’re missing a tooth to add to their necklace.)

If you’re more on the petite and smaller side, the amount time you may be referred to as ‘pup’ or a ‘juvenile’ by older and large yautja, especially matriarchs, will start to get annoying. Even though you’re a fully grown human adult. It’s especially prevalent if you’re the mate or associate yourself with younger yautja. To them, you’re just an inexperienced juvenile who still needs to grow… BUT! This is where you can prove them wrong, and really get that respect that you deserve. 👀

Just imagine the shocked faces and flared mandibles you’ll receive when one of your mate’s teammates tried to poke and mess with you a little more than you’d like—only to get rabid badgered in the face by a, example, tiny little ooman with a pension for violence. Well, I warned you, didn’t pick them for no reason. That’s just what your mate is thinking, lol.

Now, if you’re more on the lean muscle, athletic, etc. kind of side? You’ll probably be treated similarly to your larger bodied counterparts, especially if you have visible lean muscle as compared to bulk muscle. It’s a clear sign of strength to them for the most part, even if you aren’t really a warrior or hunter of some sort. And to yautja? Strength and honor are some of the most valuable things you can possess, regardless of species. If you’re (a) worthy (opponent), then you’re (a) worthy (opponent).

You’re a pup playground, by the way. If you’ve been assigned to care and watch for the pups in the clan, you best believe those pups will drag you down with them. Whether you like it or not. You’re like, basically their size, right? Even though you could probably drop kick one with a hard enough kick?… You’ll get head-butted and pounced on from all angles, for sure. You may find it annoying as hell at first, but by time everyone is worn out and you’re in the center of the cuddle pile surrounded by actual purring pups and juveniles, you’ll start to think it’s not as bad as you thought. It’s kind of cute, really. Until they wake up again… Oh boy, at least their mothers are finally here. 😂

[solifloris]

"floral blessings" ; a braindump from yours truly because this card is absofuckinglutely my most favorite xavier card on the face of the planet and i am. going. to talk about it <3

like with all my 5* card "analyses" (but also more like a wordvomit really 😭) this will contain spoilers for: (a) this card itself, (b) the lightseeker myth, (c) the lumiere myth, (d) anecdotes, main story, and world underneath !

[ this is also very long............ you have been warned 🤲 ]

first of all...... MY GOD...... FHSNNFBSJFJSJFK YELLING SCREAMING THROWING UP IM NEVER GETTING OVER THE KINDLED CARD FOR THIS BECAUSE. BECAUSE HELLOOOO??? HELLOOOO???

anyway..................

timeline-wise, the card pretty much implies a very solid relationship between the two, so while i don't know where i'd place it between 21 days and no restraint, it's definitely still after 21 days! but with that said, rather than more focus on their individual development like in no restraint, this one seems to focus more on their relationship as a whole, i think?

overall this braindump won't be as organized as what i wrote for no restraint (i think...) because my brain is still so completely absolutely mush over this card, but i needed to write SOMETHING or i'd explode to smithereens 😭 so nevertheless...!!!! i'll section off a couple scenes so if you want an outline, it'd be something like:

[1] general setup (an overview of parallels); [2] "reunion" (parallels and relationship development); [3] xavier's forwardness (the courtyard meetings, lessons, giving of the mask); [4] day of the festival; [5] the wish

but bear with me;;; there is SO MUCH that goes on here, and i really wish i had the patience and coherency to point out every little thing because holy shit 😭

firstly though, and i just found this really cool, but apparently the flower goddess festival is (was) an actual thing!

from what i've found (and correct me in i'm wrong) it's apparently a very ancient festival that's not widely celebrated these days, so it's not super popular or well-known, but it has many names such as: "Flower Goddess Festival (花神节 huāshén jié)" "Hundred Flowers’ Birthday (百花生日 bǎihuā shēngrì)" and "Flower Goddess’ Birthday (花神生日 huāshén shēngrì)" !!! i couldn't find much information about it though, but it seems that what was in the card such as the flower cakes and the dance really were actually part of the festival~ and i've also seen people say that xavier and mc's outfits feel to be from the tang dynasty, which a lot of people speculate is the time period that this festival originated!

BUT, MOVING ON...

i. general setup — an overview of parallels

i think honestly what's most interesting to me here is how much the overall card mirrors xavier's lightseeker myth so incredibly well. with all of xavier's cards, and how he's grown as a person and how their relationship has developed overall... so much of all of that ties to who he was as a lightseeker, to who he was as the prince of philos. in fact, it goes without saying that lumiere's myth story itself is so bound to the lightseeker myth. because, and i've said this so often and repeat myself a lot with it, lumiere is a direct reflection of the princely persona xavier has grown up with. that the reason he's always been so averse to who he becomes as lumiere is because he essentially channels prince xavier, someone who he's never thought to be truly him, someone who he's been wanting to push aside and no longer be. (i talk about it in my lumiere myth braindumps and touch on it in my no restraint braindump!)

and there's something about that reflection that transfers here, too, because there are two things that all three situations have in common: (1) a position of importance, and (2) a duty to do or fulfil something.

of the prince of philos and heir to the throne, of lumiere as the strongest hunter expected to protect the citizens, of the young master—usually the son of a wealthy family, however, in this case xavier claims he was "adopted" due to his calligraphy skills—with the task of seeing the festival through and teaching the flower goddesses calligraphy.

yet, at the same time, there's something different about the way xavier assumes this role of the "young master":

he's able to say no.

the role is lighter, likely because it's not a true role and, like mc as a flower goddess, he knows that it's temporary—but the way that their first meeting in the courtyard can remind you so much of prince xavier is almost jarring.

it's reminiscent of the very first time mc sees him with his bodyguards, in our most favorite anecdote "when shooting stars fall":

"They aren't clad in all black as one would expect, and they keep a respectable distance away from Xavier. Still, these people exude an air of oppression. Xavier, with his bag, is at the center of their group. It seems he's used to being stared at. The only difference is that rather than being his usual expressionless self, he appears slightly upset."

lt's reminiscent of that time they staged a spar, only for the royal messenger and his guards to interrupt it:

"The royal decree he brought today was related to the future of Philos ... Xavier was taken away by the Royal Messenger. Our duel ended with no clear winner, and the crowd quickly left."

and you can see how his progression grows, from prince xavier, to lumiere, to this role he plays as the young master—if as the prince of philos he had no choice but to follow the path laid out for him until he had enough of it, as lumiere he was more free to choose who he saved and when he saved them. now, as the young master, he's able to say no, sir, something urgent came up. he's able to say right now, i have something that i want to do first.

which, also interestingly, but in the more 'passive' role he played as part of the special task force, he wasn't quite one to say "no" either—though he kept a low and nonchalant profile, he's never outright refuted anyone, even if he might disagree, such as the party gathering or whatnot.

(also, slight segue, but it's notable that he's likely grown into a habit of a little selfishness due to what appears to be some kind of aversion to "serving the people". i do talk a little bit about that here—but it's the fact that (a) all he really cares about is mc, and (b) he likely still doesn't want to fall back into his patterns as prince xavier where he felt chained to think of the people more than the woman he loves. it does bring a little bit of question to his morality, but we know that mc has very much been something like his moral compass throughout.)

but, more than just the ability to say what he thinks and say no to certain things he doesn't put as a priority... he also feels light enough to goof around a little. dozing off/doodling during class, cheekily vying for mc's attention without concern about showing "favor"... something about xavier in this little persona he's taken on is an air of confidence. this was a kind of confidence you didn't see from him as the prince, as lumiere, even as the task force member. and it's not the confidence in his abilities, which has always been there—

it's the confidence in himself.

it takes a certain level of sureness to be able to do things on your own terms, or to be able to voice the fact that you want to.

i believe that throughout the parallels strewn throughout this card with how the setup is, it's this confidence that shines through and really makes things different.

because this time, xavier is different.

he's growing as a person.

ii. the "reunion"

this part of the card had me gasping out loud, i kid you not 😭😭😭 because the parallels really the fuck parallel in here 😭

"The Chen residence is far away. And I can't exactly leave as I'm one of the Flower Goddesses. So, I had to let Xavier investigate himself."

"He said he'd be back after four days. Why isn't he here ... Worried, I sit on the grass and gaze at the night sky. I'm barely in the mood to appreciate the fragrant blooms above."

first of all, the setting very much feels like the meteor shower scenario in "when shooting stars fall", but also...

"Xavier would always leave me like this. At times he joined the expedition team. Other times he was returning to the palace with the Royal Messenger. I'd always ask when he could return. He always returned within the timeframe given to me.Before the Prince entered the Forest, everyone was praying for his safety. At that time, Xavier whispered into my ear... 'Seven days.'"

"He's always lied, again and again and again and again. He said hope would follow when spring arrived. He said he'd take me to the new planet he discovered.He said he didn't want to be King but also refused to let me stand by another's side. He said he'd return when I miss him. He said when I become the Queen of Philos, he'd be my knight. The song he made up is now a reality. Yet as thousands cheer my name, he abandons me... At that moment, a spaceship soars across the sky like a shooting star, disappearing into the night. My footsteps echo in this empty room. No one will be by my side. My star has left me. And this time... he will not return home."

everyone's favorite scene from the lightseeker myth.

while at the same time...

"For some reason, seeing Xavier quietly admiring the nebula, I suddenly feel a wave of panic and instinctively reach out to grab his hand."

^ that's from "shining traces", but only one out of the many examples wherein mc feels as it xavier is someone she could lose at any second—not particularly because she doesn't trust him, but because there's a nagging feeling in her chest that they could be separated for longer than either of them would have hoped to be. after all, it's happened before already, she just doesn't know it. but whatever it was that happened in her previous lives, i've no doubt that the anxiety from back then had likely transferred over anyway.

and this is what this reunion feels like.

a sense of discomfort around his absence, that nagging "what if" he doesn't come back.

but it doesn't stop there—

because xavier does return, albeit very tired-looking (again i'd call this reminiscent of That Moment in "when shooting stars fall" where he brings her the protocore in hopes to keep her from dying).

and more than that, he explains. again, like what happened in the no restraint card, he explains. he doesn't keep things vague on purpose, or makes it seem like he's hiding something from her. he explains, and he takes the initiative to, if only to soothe her worries.

to soothe her worries.

that's an important point.

(and also on a side note:)

HDJJAJDJSJ I HAD TO AND THIS IS A DIRECT PARALLEL TO "No matter how many times it takes, no matter where you are... I will find you." BY THE WAY

anyway......!!!!!!!!! again, it doesn't stop there.

because this scene and this conversation also directly talk about home.

and this conversation means a lot more to xavier than, i think, generally one would realize. mostly because—and i remember kay making a really good point about it here—xavier has gone through a lot to get to where we see him now, and so much of change that he's had to get used to... time traveling so far only to get stuck? the different lifetimes he and the backtrackers would have had to witness this whole entire time?

like i mentioned, our brain's natural instinct is to strive for stability—you can even see it in what we know from our high school biology lessons a la homeostasis. yet, what xavier went through, what the backtrackers went through, is one hell of a shock of a change. it's the kind of change that needs processing, but isn't easy to process, and especially not quickly. and xavier had little to no one to lean on for support, to lean on to guide him through it. the result of which being that, as established even in his earlier cards... change isn't something he likes.

and as also established in world underneath, we know he just simply wants a neat little mundane life with mc.

keyword: with mc.

he doesn't really know what home is, because he has a distorted perception of it—the xavier now, in this moment, still recalls his home planet, the life he has ties to, back in philos. but as he is now, his home is in linkon. and then it comes to the conclusion that the answer is, really truly, neither.

his home is with her.

he says it, this time, explicitly.

it's his declaration that it's okay if things change, as long as he has her—as long as she remains the constant. then change is something he can deal with.

yet, even as he reveals all this to her, the conversation starts with him asking her. the conversation starts about her. and it's she who's able to give the opening back to him, by touching on things like change and belongingness.

"Even in a place this strange, you'll feel like you don't belong. No matter how long you stay ... Am I wrong? l'm sure many people feel safer in a place they're familiar with."

mc isn't a stranger to change, either—she's had a lot of it in her life, specifically the life she lives now as a hunter. the chronorift catastrophe, her family... it's not as if she doesn't know how jarring change can be, and she expresses that here—having to "start again" in a place she's unfamiliar with... it's not easy, and it's easy to feel out of place.

humans are social creatures. we were made to be social, we were made to interact with others. but from that need and that inherent desire (because no matter how small, it's always going to be there) stems the need to belong. a human emotional need to affiliate with and be accepted by members of a group.

this is something that is so prominent in mc that it is a place of solace for her to feel like she belongs somewhere. but this sense of belongingness is something that xavier has NOT experienced for a long, long time. it's only something he's been learning to experience again with her, and the people that surround them in this life that want nothing but the best for them both.

it goes back:

his home is wherever she is.

and i think that it's beautiful that, after hearing xavier's side, mc then chooses to agree with it:

"Maybe... the sense of belonging I have is like yours."

if his home is wherever she is, then her home is with him.

ALSO— while we're talking about this scene... the little banter they have with the flower cake?????? AND THE FACT THAT HE KISSES HER?!!?!?!?! JUST LIKE THAT!!!???!?!?!?!?!! (if you can't tell, i yelled about it)

AND THIS SCENE;?!

—"His eyes are a little red, maybe because of how exhausted he's been lately. Even his blinking has slowed down ... 'I'm a little tired. Can I lie down for a bit?'"

—"Before I can answer, Xavier rests his head on my lap."

DIRECTLY plays out the mutual reliance they have on one another for comfort and rest, because it parallels that line in lightseeking ovsession that we're all familiar with:

"You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me."

i think that as much as they have been growing in to their own persons, they're both so closely intertwined, and so much of their love for each other really just pours out all the time.

iii. xavier's forwardness

granted, one thing that's interesting in this is that they do start out pretty tame. there's a little bit of a vague area concerning their relationship at the start of the card, especially since mc seems back into her old habits of starting something and not following through—or otherwise, unintentionally starting something, and then shying away afterwards. she does get noticeably flustered, but she pushes the fluster away... almost as if old habits die hard.

...but xavier, on the other hand, is more consistently bold with whatever he's doing.

there's no hesitation on his part at all, even.

in fact, xavier is the one who initiates most of these things, and doesn't shy away from it. his cheekiness really shines through—he's the one who kisses her suddenly (and for all the other kisses he initiates in the card); he's the one who fixes her clothes, her hair; he's the one playing around while teaching her calligraphy; he's the one who's so eager and unbothered about showing off their relationship:

—"Did we need to hide? Or can the Young Master not chat with a Flower Goddess?"

—"It was going to be awkward... And I heard one of the hosts of this ceremony is the mansion's owner. Since you're an organizer and the Young Master, it wouldn't look good if I was biased, right?"

—He touches the small of my back, which makes me stand up straight. "But you always have special place in my heart."

and:

"Well, I guess everyone knows now. Does this mean I can officially play favorites?"

like he's actually being SUCH a menace i had to pause and take a deep breath

but he's very consistently bold, and it, again, goes back to the confidence that he's gained in himself. he seems a little less of the uncertain, almost shy ish xavier who didn't quite know how to make proper advances... this time, he knows mc is comfortable with his advances, and he gets to play around with that. they're comfortable around each other, to this point that he can be a little more free with his words and his actions.

and eventually, we see mc beginning to reciprocate that again—especially during the festival itself, and in the kindled moments.

which brings me to...

iv. the festival day

i'd specifically talk about, here, the moment before the dance and during the dance.

because it's alao the exact moment that we see mc begin to actually reciprocate and throw back her own advancements—it's the exact moment we have a confirmation that she loves him, that she adores him, that he means so so so so much to her.

and on the day of the festival, we go back to what i highlighted earlier:

he soothes her worries.

the first instance we see this is their little "reunion" that we talked about—it's his very presence, and his added explanation, that calms her down in that moment.

and now is not so different:

—"The most important part of the ceremony, the Flower Goddess Dance, is about to begin. I glance again at the crowd. 'Where will you be during the dance?'"

—"Xavier gently takes my hand that's holding the petal. 'That flower from the roadside will wilt if you keep touching it.'"

—"'I'm just a little nervous.'"

—"'Scared of dancing, hunter? Actually, I got you a gift ... It was meant to be a surprise. But since you're feeling nervous, I figured I should tell you."

—"'That works. Now, my focus has shifted to the excitement about your gift.'"

(which, another side note, but "Scared of dancing, hunter?" had me GASPING because???? the way he teases her in this?! it's so unabashedly him without holding anything back, no coyness about it but he's being a cheeky little shit 😭 i adore him...)

a few things to note here is that out of context, it does feel like a little bit of an awkward way to be comforting someone—yet, it works extremely well. what xavier does here is not provide reassuring sugarcoated words like "it's going to be okay", he distracts her from the problem instead by giving her something to look forward to. which, in this case, is the gift.

interestingly, in a way the 'distracting' is also reminiscent of something he does when he tries to hide something from her—cutting the conversation short when she asks about lumiere, in the lumiere myth asking her to go check on the 'wanderer' so as not to let her see what he had to inject from the ship...

in his lightseeker myth, they talk briefly about his fight with the king, and the possibility of him no longer taking the throne. this conversation proves vague and a little bit one-sided, and in the end he pushes forward the idea of eloping to uluru almost as if to avoid further discussion about the fight itself.

but this time, that's not particularly where he stops: he addresses her question as well, just to find a fallback, an extra little bit of reassurance.

—"'See that tree over there? I'll be standing under it.'"

—"I follow Xavier's gaze. Nearby is a tree covered in red silk ribbons and wooden plaques by the bridge. 'So if I mess up the dance, you'll see everything, huh?'"

—"'I promise I'll forget about them after a good sleep.' His gaze remains on my face, appearing indifferent. Yet I sense a passion about to overflow. 'The only thing l'll remember today is your beauty.'"

FIRST OF ALL. "The only thing I'll remember today is your beauty." A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING LINE, BY THE WAY. IT GAVE ME LITERAL BUTTERFLIES I HAD TO PAUSE FOR A MOMENT. (1) more proof that in the end she's really all he cares about, (2) he's being unabashedly bold with his words again—no filter moment, but zero hesitation, (3) "i sense a passion about to overflow"? he's not being coy about this either, he's saying what he truly feels. he's opening up and expressing himself more, expressing his love for her more, and being genuine about it!

but also, in terms of additional comfort, it's a widely known tactic in states of panic to ground yourself by using your senses to register something familiar: you see something familiar to you, hear something familiar to you, touch something familiar to you, smell something familiar to you. such as, the ground beneath your feet. the air around you, the vague sound of chattering around you, maybe even the touch of your bag, or the fabric of your clothing, the window you know has always been there, etc. panic brings about a sense of derealization, and grounding yourself is usually the first step to calming down.

what xavier is doing now is offering the knowledge to her that he will be there. that she knows exactly where to look for him if she needs to during the dance. she has the opportunity to ground herself with his presence whenever she needs to.

(and again, it's a direct reflection of that line: "You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me.")

and it's exactly what she does.

though she ends up enjoying the dance and the crowd does block her direct view of the tree during the dance itself, she takes comfort in the fact that she knows he's there.

she trusts him; she doesn't need to see him to know that he'd there.

and then she thinks something beautiful:

"Engrossed in the dance's rhythm, my mind is strangely at peace. After all, I know there's someone in the crowd whose eyes are only on me."

once again, it goes back—his presence offers her comfort.

the first thing she does once she's received all the flowers is run to him, and he waits for her gladly. like he's always waited for her, like he always will wait for her.

"A lot of people wanted to give you flowers. I couldn't get past them, so I decided to wait for you here. Seems they're quite fond of you, just like me."

a note: the peach blossom

i figured this deserved a section on its own actually, particularly because the whole theme is this whole "flower goddess" thing... and in the beginning, we see mentions of the "goddess of daffodils" and the "goddess of peonies".

yet, we never really truly find out what mc's potentially assigned flower was—

the only mention of a flower that we do see, directly related to her, is when the little kid compliments her hair and places a peach blossom into her basket.

and while i wouldn't know if this means it's her flower or not, but the specific mention of the peach blossom is adorable, because in chinese floriography, the peach blossom represents love.

it's used in a lot of chinese literature and often associated with the arrival of spring—which, "according to the rites of zhou, the middle of spring is a period when men and women fall in love freely." therefore, a lot of chinese literature and poems also allude peach blossoms to romance, being that spring does as well. but, it's also associated with beauty: "after the wei and jin dynasties, beauties were portrayed in a more detailed way with words like taohua mian (peach-blossom-like face) or tao sai (peach-blossom-like cheek)." and there are other things it represents too, like prosperity, growth, and longevity.

when xavier gives mc the hairpin at the end, mc describes it as "pretty and adorned with pink flowers as if they are on a branch", and while not explicitly stated, i do believe that they are also peach blossoms.

whether or not that's the case, and whether or not the peach blossom was mc's flower (or maybe that it's just generally part of the festival), i think it's a really cute detail! i think it perfectly represents their growing relationship, and essentially the beauty with which xavier always sees her~

BUT, MOVING ON.....

v. the wish

the final stretch boils down to this.

"A gentle breeze stirs the wooden plaques hanging from the branches. A faint, melodic sound dances in the air. 'They say a Flower Goddess can bless people's wishes. And if the person making the wish is someone she favors, it's more likely to come true.'"

it's where the kindled moment falls, as xavier proposes for them to make a wish together.

and, mind you, this whole entire scene is ADORABLE AND LIVES RENT FREE IN MY HEAD ... the playfulness between their words, the "if i tell you my wish, it won't come true", the way xavier CARRIES HER??? AND THE WAY HE CATCHES HER WHEN SHE FALLS AND PINS HER AGAINST THE TREE AND AND AND AND.

everytime i think of it i end up keysmashing in my head IT'S JUST SO CUTE i could burn it into my head 😭😭😭😭

but, AHEM, he also says...

"Throughout history, humanity has always made the same wishes. Perhaps it's because those feelings we have... are timeless."

i think it's a really pretty line, but more than how pretty it is, i think it represents xavier perfectly.

xavier has lived long enough, and he's likely also made similar wishes along the way. for mc to be safe, for mc to be happy... things along those lines. and for him to describe that as "timeless" also represents his love for her—because it is timeless. he loves her more than anything else in the world. it transcends space, and time, and anything else; to him, she is love. she is timeless.

it's worth noting that everytime xavier and mc get scenes where they wish together, xavier never really says what his wishes are.

in "when shooting stars fall", mc wishes for many things. for xavier's freedom and happiness, for her to be healthy, for time to stop in their moment together... for xavier's freedom, xavier's happiness, and, in her final moments—"i wish to meet you in my next life." but he's never said explicitly what he wished for at all.

in "warm wishes", mc also mentions a lot of wishes:

"I wished I could pass all my tests with flying colors and go to a good university. I wished for Grandma to be healthy. I wished for my neighbor's cat to come home..."

and her actual wish that night was:

"l wish.... everyone can have snowflakes fall on their shoulders when they're lonely, and see the stars when they're lost."

yet that night, xavier didn't make a wish. he explicitly stated:

"l didn't make a wish. I want to save my wish for when I need it the most. Plus, everything I want right now has come true."

...but this time is different.

he did make a wish.

and, this time around, he specified what it is.

"I wish I can be your sanctuary until the end of time, in your eyes."

this is a wish that's important to him. he chooses to make this wish, and he chooses to tell her about it.

there's a lot to dissect in just one statement alone, because it's so imbued into the xavier that's loved her for thousands of years.... the xavier that has grown and developed into who he is in this moment.

a sanctuary is a place of refuge and protection; a place of safety. a place of comfort. a place of rest.

and multiple times throughout this card, it highlights how xavier has been able to offer mc a certain sense of comfort. even right when the results are announced, one look at him calms her down—this part really got me.

"I glance nervously at Xavier. He makes eye contact with me, and his gaze conveys a steadfast reassurance."

it's a recurring theme in the card—comfort. peace. the peace that you can find in someone. the safety that you can find in someone. in this case, mc with xavier, and vice versa.

...and i've always associated xavier with comfort, but peace and safety have been attributes i've been hesitant to associate with him, because it's different. for you to feel safe with someone, for you to feel at peace with someone, they need to communicate, as well, a certain sense of steadfast reassurance. xavier has always been soft and comfortable, but he hasn't always exuded that steadfast type of aura.

i think that this is something that he himself realizes.

i've mentioned it before, but his wish is also a direct parallel to That Line from lightseeking obsession.

"You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me."

yet there's also a striking difference.

what is different?

the person that he's developed into.

prince xavier, lightseeker xavier—as i mentioned earlier, there's a certain kind of confidence in himself that isn't present, and it shows. i would argue that he was at his most vulnerable that time, likely more vulnerable than when they first landed on earth, because he didn't know how to treat his relationships at all. he was too bound by the confines of what everyone, and i mean everyone, including mc at the time, wanted him to be. there was never clear communication with anyone, and it mostly seems as if he's been going through the motions—as opposed to more freedom that he's been granted on earth.

and it shows, because, that line in lightseeking obsession—does not exude confidence.

it's a comforting statement, sure...

but it's not even something that mc herself believes.

"you always lie."

it's as if xavier, as much as he's trying to comfort mc, is trying to reassure himself, too—he tries too hard to make himself appear reassuring to her that it falls short, all this on top of the times that she feels she's been let down by him.

it's ironic, almost. he says such a bold declaration despite knowing that there's a chance he wouldn't be able to keep it.

but this is different.

this time, xavier has grown to he sure of who he is and who he wants.

he said it in 21 days—"every version of me belongs to you, and only you."

yet despite the confidence that he now has in himself, notice how different this is to lightseeker's line—

he's wishing.

and he specifies that he wants it to be true in her eyes.

it's as if he's saying, i'm not sure if this is what you think about me, but i do know that i want it to be what you think about me.

he's not reassuring her; he's not making a bold declaration. he's not saying, you will think of me as a sanctuary. neither is he saying, i will be your sanctuary.

he's saying, i want to be your sanctuary.

the final decision falls to her.

the confidence lies in stating what he wants, and there's no fear in it—there's no hesitation, nothing that implies that he's scared to say it. he's confident in what he says, and either confident that she'll accept it, or confident that no matter what her choice is in the matter it's okay.

that's why this wish is so strong.

and it's mc who then says, at the end;

"I wanted to tell you that your wishes will always come true."

because she reciprocates.

and this whole moment, everything that happens from hereon—the results, the hairpin...

—"'If you meet a Flower Goddess you like, give her fresh flowers. It's a local custom here. But there are many people who admire you, and all of them have given you flowers. My flower wouldn't be special enough. So, I made a flower hairpin. This is the first time I made one, though. Don't judge it too harshly.'"

—"Xavier's hand is warm. Like petals being carried on the wind, his smile descends and touches my heart. 'What makes you say that? It's amazing. Besides, even if you just gave me flowers, they'd be the most special ones l've ever received.'"

it's worth noting that the scene where xavier gives the hairpin is also very much the same way he makes the wish. he does admit that he doesn't know if she'd appreciate flowers—but he takes it a step forward. he knows he wants to be extra special, he knows he wants her to have something she'll remember, so he does something different. he makes, and gives her, a flower hairpin. of his own accord.

it doesn't stop at his insecurities, which he still has—he takes those insecurities and spins them into something he can be sure of himself.

and there it is again.

the steadfast reassurance.

and it's what makes the moment so much more memorable to mc, so much more meaningful.

and it's why, then, he can say things like this:

"No matter what happens, I'm always blessed to have someone by my side, who makes my gaze never feel alone."

"Forever is but a collection of moments strung together. With every minute comes another, second after second. When I open my eyes again, I want you to still be by my side."

it's in a way wherein xavier is able to take some lead in their relationship, because he's more sure of himself this time. and it progresses their relationship in a way that it wouldn't have if he never learned—he's learning. he's growing. and he's really truly turning out to be someone that can love with his whole heart, without holding back.

i think this card showcases that the most, and maybe that's why i love it so much <3

ALSO, P.S., ONE MORE PARALLEL—

xavier says that the flowers are blooming beautifully this season—"it smells like spring". in his lightseeker myth, he says: "With spring's arrival, hope is soon to follow."

and its just a neat lil thing, i think <3 spring is always so closely associated with xavier, and the card really does end on such a light and hopeful note.

[vivace-formulala]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏: 𝑺𝒐 𝑷𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝑯𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝑶𝒏 𝑻𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 (𝑶𝑩𝟖𝟕 𝒙 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓)

🫵: “ AFAB ; same-aged ; you can drive ; you’re British ; you like Taylor Swift ; you fix cars ; ”

⌛️: around winter break 2024

table of contents | next

a/n: i dont have a license nor am i british so idk what the hell is going on, ciao!

Your dad owns a driving school now.

He casually mentioned it last summer—like it was no big deal. You almost choked on your morning coffee on a random Tuesday. Not because of the business itself, but because your dad had a habit of randomly acquiring businesses. In fact, for this one, the paperwork and the permits all seemed to fall into place with little effort.

It’s nothing grand, just a local operation in your quaint town of Chelmsford. A small, no-frills school teaching people the basics and helping them get their licenses. It’s a solid gig, a simple change of pace for your dad, who's always been the practical type. No need for anything flashy.

But Ollie? Well, he had his own reasons for picking this particular school when he came home for winter break. One it was a necessity to get his Formula 1 career up and running for an FIA super license— but it was also a whim. He could’ve gone anywhere, but before his life truly steamrolled, he wanted to be close to his mom, dad, Thomas, and Amelia — the school was only a bus ride away from home. Perfect for him.

He’s not exactly famous, but his name still carries weight— especially after last year's stint in Ferrari. If people knew who he was, it might make a scene. And Ollie hates scenes.

The order was five days of practical driving. The theoretical part? Easy. He breezes through the written tests like it’s nothing.

But then, the usual driving instructor calls in sick. And guess who’s left to fill in? You.

You’ve got your instructor’s license. But it was last summer’s side gig, and you didn’t ask for this. Teaching someone to drive—especially someone who’s never been behind the wheel—is exhausting. You know the drill: the constant instructions, the anxiety, the second-guessing. It’s a lot.

But you owe your dad. He bought that new part for your project car, the one you’ve been working on for months.

So fine. You’ll do it.

So when the day came around, begrudgingly, you slid into the passenger seat.

You expect the usual: an awkward, inexperienced teen with shaky hands and a million questions. But when you open the door and look at your student, you freeze.

The guy’s got looks. He looked no different from the usual London boy with fair skin, but he had a luscious brown mop of curls and the most gleaning green eyes you’ve ever seen. And he’s tall. Taller than you, even. And from the way he’s sitting there, all relaxed and confident, you can tell he’s not exactly nervous.

Great. Now you’ve got to teach him to drive.

“Hey, Oliver,” you mutter, trying to mask your confusion— not sure if you got the right guy. “I’m your instructor today. You ready?”

“Just Ollie,” he says, his low voice ringing in the car as he nods.

Ollie Bearman.

Huh.

He politely listens to your instructions, but you can tell he’s bored. This is strange because most people—especially teens—are freaked out the first time they get behind the wheel.

Hell, you were nervous when you first started, even though you’d been around cars your whole life.

You walk him through the basics—mirrors, seat adjustments, seatbelt, starting the car—all while he nods, half-listening, his eyes drifting out the window. But when it’s time to actually drive, that’s when things take a turn.

As soon as his foot hits the gas, the car jerks forward, and you lurch in your seat, grabbing the edge of the door.

“Jesus!” you yell, heart pounding. “Gently!”

He blinks, clearly surprised by your reaction. “Sorry,” he mutters. “The gas is more sensitive in this car.”

His foot’s like a lead weight. He doesn’t ease into it; he floors it every time. The car shoots forward like it’s in a drag race, and you grip the seat like it’s the only thing keeping you from flying through the windshield.

But it’s not just the gas. When he finally gets the hang of accelerating, he slams on the brakes so hard you nearly break your nose on the dashboard. Thank God for seatbelts.

“Gently!” you shout again, your voice cracking from a mix of frustration and fear. “You’ll send us into a wall if you’re not careful!”

His expression doesn’t change. He’s focused on the road like it’s the car’s fault and not his. “The brakes are a lot tougher,” he says like that explains everything.

And then—he does it again. His foot hits the gas while he’s trying to brake, and you slam back into your seat so hard that you swear you’ll leave an imprint on the upholstery.

You hit your instructor brake pedal, trying to steady the car as it jerks forward, against your control.

Your eye twitches, taking into consideration what he just said.

‘The brakes are a lot tougher,’ he said. 'The gas is more sensitive in this car.'

Annoyance rises within you, but a nagging thought creeps in: ‘Has this guy been driving without a license? Without a permit? In these conditions?'

Ollie tries once again to step on the gas but your hold on the foot brake— and annoyance— is stronger.

Just as you open your mouth to lay into him that driving without a permit is a crime and how has he not killed anyone yet— he drops a bombshell.

“I’m an F1 driver,” he says, clearly noticing your twitching eye. “That’s what I meant.”

You blink, stunned. “What?”

“Yeah. Well, I will be. Soon,” he shrugs. “I need a license to get my superlicense. So here I am.”

Oh. That makes sense. Kinda. He’s training for Formula 1, not just regular driving. But still, the guy can barely keep the car straight.

How is he going to race in F1 when he drives like this? You don’t even have time to ask. You’re too busy trying to stop yourself from screaming as he jerks the wheel again.

It’s like trying to ride a bull that’s been shot out of a cannon. You keep yelling—gently! Ease off! Stop slamming the brakes!—but he just glances at you, a little too amused.

“I’m not doing it on purpose,” he protests, but there’s a tiny, barely noticeable chuckle in his voice that tells a different story.

Ollie is going to admit: he is enjoying this. Not the driving bit, (How on earth was a car built with no tractions easier for him to drive than this?), but watching you—your terrified face turning into annoyed then back to terrified, your hair now a mess, your death grip on the door and your seatbelt threatening to snap as you try to stay in one piece. To say he was hit by a cupid’s spikey arrow was perhaps the best way to describe it when you opened the passenger door.

On your part— the worst part of today, you’re starting to think that, despite his complete lack of driving skills, he might actually be kind of cute in his chaotic, reckless way. But of course that thought annoys you so you bend over his side and give Ollie a good flick on the forehead.

After a while, things go from bad to worse. A sharp turn, a misjudged move, and the car hits the curb with a sickening thud, scratching the side mirror as it scrapes along.

“Okay,” you mutter, rubbing your temples. “We’re done. For today.”

Ollie doesn’t say anything, but you can see the glint of hope in his eyes. He’s hoping you’ll be the one to teach him again tomorrow. It’s clear.

You, on the other hand? You’re just praying you survive the week without needing a full-blown panic attack.

And as you step out of the car, you can’t help but think—this could be an interesting week.

© ｖｉｖａｃｅ－ｆｏｒｍｕｌａｌａ

[yamisnuffles]

DATV Spoiler Free Review

I beat Veilguard a couple days ago and have had some time to let it settle in my brain. So, without getting into the nitty gritty and more spoilery things, here are my overall feelings on the game.

The Great:

The world itself. The scenery. It was really gorgeous and felt fully alive in a way that none of the previous games have quite managed. Since it wasn't as open world as DAI nor as narrow in scope as DA2 (nor as old as DAO lol), it felt more vital. Definitely a place where the advances in graphics helped, I'm sure.

The Good:

The companions. I wouldn't say any of them blew me away but they all at least ranged from enjoyable to very good. I definitely had my quibbles here and there but I think they were all pretty solid. As such, though I've only done one romance, I'll suppose they're all good. A bit... sparse in my experience and from what I've been hearing, but nice enough.

Overall, I also think the story was pretty good. Like much in this game, nothing that blew me away, but solidly compelling.

Also, mechanically, the gameplay and the glamour system. It still doesn't feel like DA to me but it was enjoyable once I got used to it. It works well with how I play games. And it was nice to just set looks for myself and my companions and not worry about stats vs appearance.

Rook. I have some definite Complaints, and so this point is probably closer to the good to mid range, but they did a pretty good job with letting you pull in your faction stuff. I'm prevented from saying great because it feels like, even with what are supposed to be rougher dialogue choices, you're limited to being mildly pleasant.

The Mid:

The music. This is tragic to me because every previous game had some really standout songs and DAI especially was such a solid soundtrack. I love soundtrack music. Also because Hans Zimmer! I love Hans Zimmer. But the entire thing felt very generic epic fantasy to me. It wasn't bad but it didn't feel good. The only times I ended up moved by the music was when they lifted DAI songs.

The lack of imports. It wasn't the end of the world but did make some cameos feel really off. And for all the talk of making what few things were imported matter, that really didn't feel like the case at all (unless you were in a specific subset of players). I didn't care too much, but it was just enough to make things feel weird, especially with characters like Harding who are so attached to previous stuff.

The Bad:

The world felt so sanitized. I have no issue getting rid of real life bigotry that makes so sense in the context of the world. For example, the sexism in DAO especially made no sense. That said, there was a lot of in world nastiness that is just... gone. The game does a lot of telling us the elves have it bad but doesn't show it. No one bats an eye at a Tevinter mage running about outside of Tevinter. No one cares about a Qunari in occupied Treviso. I suppose it's not the worst thing in the world but it feels weird, especially when it's so central to Solas' motivations.

This sanitization carried on through pretty much everything. All of the factions are presented as good and heroic, even the ones that are historically pretty shady. Your companions are all pleasant and palatable. They have the occasional minor squabble but even when they almost have actual beef, it's solved super easily. You might get some disapproval for decisions but companions never seem to much care or hold it against you, even on really big things. I don't need DA2 levels of interparty drama but, boy did I want a bit more tooth sometimes.

The Awful:

I can't get into it without spoilers but it did a Thing that Bioware sometimes likes to do that I absolutely loathe. This is definitely personal but it ruined some of my desire to replay.

Overall:

I'd give the game a 7/10 or maybe 6/10, depending on how I'm feeling. It was enjoyable for the most part but it had so many things that felt like splinters. Lots of little things that stuck under my skin and bothered me. Would I recommend it? Genuinely depends on the person.

[imaginesforeons]

ohhh a crumb of yandere gojo PLEASE 😩

Omg so sorry for disappearing. I suddenly had an onset of health problems that got so bad I even had to go into emergency surgery. I'm better now though! Requests for my page are now CLOSED, though I will be answering all the people who already asked me when they were open. But no guarantees with how fast lmao.

One more thing, what do you guys think about me taking commissions? I feel like I'd be able to, and there's enough stuff on my page for people to know what they'd be getting. Let me know in the comments or DM me.

Yandere!Gojo x Reader with an unknown, powerful jujutsu

~Something snaps inside you, primal and unknown. Unfortunately, you aren't the only one that witnesses this~

CW: Past kidnapping. Yandere Gojo, but he's actually super chill compared to his usual self lmao.

WC: 1149

Buy me a coffee?

.-.-.

“C’mon, just a little bit. You can trust me, can’t you?”

A muscled arm wrapped around your waist, dragging your stiffening body closer. Blue eyes peered at you from over black sunglasses, shining with mirth.

“I really can’t do it, Gojo, I swear. Please, just let me go.”

You leaned as far away from him as possible, which, from your position on the couch, wasn’t very far at all. The man had you literally and metaphorically cornered, squished into the corner of the sofa with his hand firmly on your hip. You tried to ignore his fingers, idly tapping an unknown rhythm against your skin, but you felt each digit like a brand. Squirming, you tried to edge away, just a few inches so you weren’t pressed flush against his side. Gojo only grinned, flashing impossibly white teeth at you as his hand flexed, pulling you in until you were practically in his lap. You froze.

His smile only grew bigger. “I think we both know that’s a lie. Hell, the missing person case speaks for itself.”

You felt your stomach drop. The missing person case. The missing person case you had caused. Just yesterday, your life had been achingly normal, something you now craved. It was your day off, and you decided to use the time to catch up on errands. When it happened, you were at a bank depositing a check when, out of nowhere, a creature had risen smoothly out of the ground like it was water, not the rock solid masonry that the bank was made of. You had only gaped uselessly, staring at the thing that had too many limbs and eyes that were more human than beast as it loomed over you. No one else seemed to notice, except for a single man. He was nondescript, with dark hair, plain features, and a grey suit that made his complexion more sallow than it really was. You thought he was an employee. Thought.

When he saw you staring, he snarled a short command at the monster, then he and it both dove at you. That was when everything broke out into pandemonium. All at once, an alarm was set off, people started screaming, and the skylight above you and the man shattered, raining stained glass down around you and your attackers. You thought it was a robbery. If only it was that simple.

Screaming, all you could do was throw your arms up and wait for impact, but nothing came. Finally, you dared to lower your arms, only to be met with a man with shockingly white hair. Amongst all the panicking bankers and customers, he was the eye of the storm; calm, still. Then, slowly, he pulled up part of the bandages covering his eyes, revealing one. When you saw it, you gasped. He grinned at your reaction, a boyish type of smile that in any other situation would have made your heart flutter, but the hunger behind it instead made your stomach drop.

Before you could blink, he had you wrapped in his arms, their strength like that of a steel trap. The last thing you heard before everything went black was, you would later find out, his voice.

“Well, isn’t this interesting?”

You had woken up in those same arms, and when you realized you started to cry, inconsolable even as your kidnapper gently shushed you.

You whimpered at the memory, at the thought of the man at the bank who, yes, may have tried to attack you, but he was still a person. He was still missing. Missing because of you, if Gojo was to be believed.

“I- I didn’t mean to,” you stuttered. “I had never even met him before then. Why would I want to hurt-”

“Sato Isamo,” Gojo interrupted, waving his hand. “The salaryman turned curse-user after power was promised to him, yada yada. Same old shit. He doesn’t matter, I would’ve offed him if you hadn’t gotten to him first-” you felt your stomach drop at such deadly words said so casually “-what really matters is you.”

Suddenly, his hands were holding your face, so big that they almost wrapped around the entirety of your skull. His eyes bore into yours, and even though every instinct in you screamed to look away, you couldn’t, prey caught in the stare of the predator.

“You did something amazing back there.” Gojo’s eyes were glowing, lit by something deep and primal inside him. “Not even I can disappear a man in the blink of an eye without any effort, but you did. You wiped him off the face of the fuckin’ earth to somewhere even my six eyes can’t see, and I want to see you do it again.”

A thumb brushed over the apple of your cheek. It took all you had not to shiver.

“I never thought I was a patient man until I saw you. We’ll wait as long as it takes, but you’ll never escape me until I get to see your technique again.”

He was insane, you thought. Nothing else could explain the glazed look on his face or the way his body trembled finely against yours. This man was more dangerous to you than that monster at the bank ever was.

“And after that you’ll let me go?” you asked. Begged was more accurate, with the way your voice cracked over the last word.

For just a split second, his eyes changed, shifting from blue summer sky to deep ocean depths. “We’ll see,” was all he said, then his eyes flickered back to their radiant glow. “But until then, I’m not letting you out of my sight. We’ll go to the Asahikawa estate, you’ll love it.”

For a moment, you thought your hearing had failed you. “W-what,” you were barely able to stammer out. “But that’s miles away. I have a job here. A family.”

Gojo only shrugged. “People like them don’t matter. You’re better off sticking with your own kind.” He winked down at you. “Like me, for example.”

You could only stare at him, mouth agape. Gojo only smiled back at you, and it was all you could do not to scream. Instead, you did the next best thing, diving wildly from his grasp. Behind you, you heard a delighted laugh before arms that were already starting to feel familiar wrapped around your waist.

You shrieked, thrashing, but all Gojo did was scoop you up, holding you to his chest like some sort of disobedient pet. Nothing you did broke his hold, so finally, after fighting out all your energy, you could only slump against him in a panting, sweaty mess. The white haired man smiled down at you, and that was when you finally broke, tears leaking from your eyes as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“We’ll figure this out, no matter how long it takes,” he said. “Together.”

[persistentplums]

No matter what you think about Brock and Rusty one thing is true they raised those boys together. And anyone will tell you kids pick up qualities of their guardians/parents which influences how they go about things.

The influence of Brock on Hank is simple, it’s the one the show starts off with and we see easily throughout the show. I wish they could’ve done more with Dean and Brock, unfortunately they don’t overlap enough to do something with but when they have overlapped the small moments, you stretch it you can see the impact Brock has on Dean.

“He believes in this stuff, not like Hank.”

“I have watched you pull a man eye from his head, made him dance like marionette with his own optic nerves.” “At least I didn’t break his heart.”

Heart is Brock entire thing. He is punished for his act of heart going against OSI and getting Billy and Pete together, him racing back in PROM, his attachment to the Ventures, and funny enough his lack of any real love life is because Brock does things true to his heart even when he’s not supposed to (“you’re a tool for the government.”)

That’s super easy to see in Hank, he follows his guns, jumps in, doesn’t second guess if he’s wrong. For Dean it comes out in belief of there being Good Guys. Something Brock shares. For a man who has no real issue with murder the idea of “Good guys” is a thing he sticks with very seriously. Dean copies this to a Dorky level coming off naive but it’s literally the same packaged differently.

Hank knows though everyone is just some guy, a bad guy or a good guy you are just some guy. A lot like his dad in that respect, when you understand this is all a game you can’t really bother with genuinely thinking of sides just how you interact within it. (Hank not really put off about dating Sirena even if her dad is his dad arch. That’s more of an obstacle that they are put into arch and protag categories so he can’t date her normally bc it’s not an actual *thing* for him)

Dean however is under the firm belief there are sides, they can work together sometimes bc he’s seen it, but like Brock, he believes in sides and gets riled up by it.

Speaking of riled up, Dean has Brock temper. I didn’t think much about it to be honest, it shows itself twice physically (Rusty Camp, radiant of the baboon) but when I hop around episodes now I see it in newer episodes. Dean temper is similar to Brock when he is really pushed off the need to protect or save another quality that is picked up by Brock.

Brock aggression is something Dean who is used to seeing it come out when he, hank and doc need protecting, saving, or an affective tactic. Another thing is Brock was and probably still is both boys example of classic masculinity in contrast to their dad (I’ll get back to this on another post.) I think Dean unintentionally mimics it, and I kinda believe we would’ve seen more of it if Dean was put into more situations where he was worried for someone else since the Rusty camp one was for Triana and the movie was for Hank. (Both against Dermontt which shouldn’t count but I am which I will get to in a different post about jealousy in VB)

Brock is the stereotypical “man” he protects the home, he kills to protect, his basics are that man spiel I don’t need to say we know it. Brock masculinity is never questioned really, it oozes out of him and is loudly punctuated. When it comes to sex it’s the same thing, to a problem. I think Dean inherited that, im not saying the one time Dean did a shitty sex related thing makes him like Brock but I actually think it’s more of a Brock move than Rusty weirdly enough. Probably because Brock has hooked up with people wives/gf but that’s not the reason why I say it.

Dean reason with hooking up with Sirena wasn’t really solid, because I don’t think there was a solid reason he did it just because it was happening. That’s why I think it’s more of a Brock move. Rusty we’ve seen talked himself out of being with women who even like him, yes he hooked up with a fan bc she was a fan. She wasn’t someone who can end up seeing his flaws, end up maybe loving back because love is frightening for Rusty because he wants it. If there was a room and a woman who was slightly interested in Rusty, Rusty would magically get out of the room then COMPLAIN he is out the room. We see it repeatedly he will make up reasons really get in his head to jump ship only to stick to people who don’t love him. Or like him.

Hank is the same line but opposite, he is open to love! Yes like Brock his attention to who is quick and focused but Hank is committed because he wants to be loved. Hank is scared of not being loved, he worries although less obviously or loudly about it, and leans hard into it. Action man called him on it, that he resembles Rusty in being downright too attached.

I’ll be honest here it’s so unlikely to actually see it but once you see the Rusty in Hank you’ll end up seeing the Brock in Dean. I remember a YouTube comment saying “Dean is all the negatives [of other people] it’s why I don’t like him.”

I don’t hate Dean, I don’t love Dean but I get Dean so while I don’t 100% agree with that comment I do get it. Dean picks up sometimes the worst traits because he’s so easy to imprint on. He’s funny like that, weirdly easy to leave an impression on but unaware how he repeats things of people he doesn’t want to. Brock being promiscuous, Rusty nostalgic past, the idea of what is important to a man etc Dean mimics it unknowingly. I don’t think that was the root of hooking up with Sirena, (bc the reason is bs yall) I’m just thinking of domino effect of parenting.

There’s a lot of Rusty in Dean literally everything Dean has is Rusty. But where they don’t match up are the core, Dean now understands his dad and they are the same brand of Venture boy but I really think Brock influence on both boys is there for good and bad it just harder to find in Dean. But I think it comes out when Dean stops letting his mind run too much, when he trusts himself, when he’s standing up for something, when he lets his body drive.

But I’m just spitballing! I just don’t believe Dean is all Doc, just like Hank isn’t all Brock. We just didn’t get a lot of time with the boys switched around

[sprintingowl]

Candela Obscura

I'm very late to the party, but I finally read Candela Obscura. It's a weird TTRPG---but in a lot of soft ways. It's a bad fit for 50% of DnD players, and a really good fit for 25% of DnD players. It's easy to use if you're good at ignoring the rules, and quite difficult if you need rules structure to feel comfortable.

Anyway, here's a quick review.

Candela Obscura is an Edwardian supernatural TTRPG built out of bits from several popular story-forward systems. The dice are d6s. You roll a couple and count the highest one. If you want, you can spend your meter to add more dice. And if you keep a specific fancy die (even if its roll was bad,) you get some of the meter back.

There is damage and combat and equipment and classes, but the system doesn't feel like it actually wants these things at all, and their role is overall kind of minimal. You don't hit level seven and unlock a new power that completely transforms play. You shuffle some points between your stats occasionally---either after a few sessions or when you die.

Dying doesn't kill you in Candela Obscura. You just take some lasting trauma and rejoin the group the next time they rest. This is going to feel like the destruction of reality itself to folks who are very deep into the DnD ruleset, but what this does is prioritize the story in Candela. You're not going to get your character killed off by a stray crit. You don't have to optimize to do board game combat in order to tell a complete story. You play your blorbo as long as you want to.

Simply put, I think this is a game for former theater kids (said as a former theater kid.) The game's mechanics are there if you want to invoke them, but if what you want to actually do is gloom around parlors, poke around dusty curio shops, write gothic poetry for your phantasmal beloved, and lounge louchely out of the back of a stagecoach on the way to the count's manor, this is a pretty good system for that.

When you rely on Candela's mechanics to give it substance, they don't do that at all. So Candela's substance has to come from atmosphere, acting, the fun of performing the game vs the fun of winning it.

In fact, I'd argue that if you downscaled the rules into something you could run as a larp, it'd be a better system (and a decent larp.)

Lore-wise, Candela isn't breaking any new ground, so I'm not going to go into super deep detail here. If you've got some Gail Carriger books on your shelf, you're already in the right ballpark. Magic is dangerous. You're part of a group that investigates it. Other secret societies want different things from magic, and sometimes a big monster comes galumphing through the veil between worlds and everyone has to deal with that.

Candela does take care to establish that its world is one in which prejudice does not exist, and I think this is a well-intentioned fumble. Giving groups tools to remove or downplay prejudice as an element from their game (Lines & Veils, X Card, etc,) that's good. Not everyone wants to confront the miseries of the world during their leisure activity. But saying "there's no prejudice in this empire." I dunno. Sorta misses some key things about empires.

Overall, though, the lore is easy to work with and there's quite a lot of it. You get a very good sense of what the setting is like, even just flipping through, and this is aided by the lovely art and layout. It's a nice looking book.

So, would I recommend Candela Obscura? Kinda™

If you've already played a bunch of indie games and you want something Edwardian supernatural, it's a solid pick. If you've only played DnD but you ignore the rules more than you use them, this is also good for that style of play! If you want a game specifically about combat, that you can strategize and win, this is absolutely not that and you'll have a bad time trying to make it do those things.

I do hope Candela Obscura grows more of an audience, as I'd love to see the kinds of indie games that its hyper-presence in the scene would inspire. It's also something I feel like I could run comfortably, and would be happy to play in---even if it's not a top five system for me.

If you've played it, or if I've gotten anything wrong in my review, please feel free to let me know. And if you haven't played it, but I've inspired you to, heck yeah. It's available at the link below.

[ebonysplendor]

Pulsatio Cordis Review

TL;DR: You know when you're talking to the person you've got a crush on, and, then, you turn into a certified dumbass and say something stupid? So, imagine that, except it's not you, but your crush, and your crush isn't saying anything stupid, but everything homicidal, and it's like, oh...mkaaaaaay. Suddenly, that weird thing that you said earlier ain't that weird anymore. Talk about awkward...

Game Link: https://lucia-lily.itch.io/pulsatio-cordis

Notable Features: Gender selection, Self-Insert, Affinity system, Multiple endings Spiciness: 0/5 -- It's definitely not innocent, but as far as spiciness? There wasn't any. It was lowkey kind've sweet, though, in an overlook all the red flags and fix him sort of way LI Red Flags: 4.5/5 -- Intense shifts in emotions, stalking, obsessive, drugged us, homicidal, manipulative, kidnapped us, forged a letter, planted evidence

Wanna know more? Well, let's get into it!

Yo. How's it going?

I'm gonna be real with y'all; I really don't feel like doing an intro lmao. Sometimes, I deadass don't know what to say, and I'm at a loss as to how to start it off. I also don't push myself to make an intro either so lol. I figure if I just be honest about it, it won't seem as lazy. Is that working?

Anyways, I think I was scrolling around on...Itch.io? Actually, I think this one came from here. I think I saw, like, a picture or something... Anyways, I discovered this game, and it was pretty solid! I'll get more into it later, but just as a whole, pretty damned solid!

I feel like I should mention something, though. This review has been done for like...weeks now, but I was making a post that kind've goes along with this, and it wasn't done and still isn't, so I never posted this lmao. It was honestly a "hear me yap more" type thing, because there was an aspect of this game that was super interesting, and I couldn't help myself.

...Okay, now, I really don't know what else to say so, we're just gonna jump right in. As always, I'll tell you as much about the game as possible without spoiling the game itself. That being said, let's take advantage of my lack of yappin' and get into it.

So boom.

Let me just cut to the chase: we are down bad for this hottie at school named Liev Lavanté. Like, bro, even his last name is hot. Could you imagine having a last name like that? That was a trick question, because we've already pictured us getting married and living together and being so domestic together with the cooking and the hugs from behind and siiiiiiiiiigh~ <3

Anyways, he's absolutely perfect in every way possible. He's super smart, super popular, super charming, super attractive, super...well, super everything. I point that out, because, aside from there being a massive amount of competition, the main issue is that he is, very clearly, way out of our league, but yolo right? Right. Not to mention that the worse possible thing that could happen was us getting shut down, so...? Fuck it, we ball, and, with that ball, we shoot our shot. Basketball references, am I right? Aha....ha....okay, anyways.

Actually, let me correct that. We kind've shooted out shot (shot our shot didn't hit the same, so it was necessary to be illiterate; just overlook it lmao). In actuality, we weren't that brave about it, but it still took us well out of our comfort zone to make a cheesy ass confession letter and shove it in his locker.

So, now, we're at home, anxious aye eff, because we were extremely bold and basically told this man that we wanted to slob his knob (not really, I'm just a degenerate) in writing, and we're mentally preparing to get rejected, cry it off this weekend, and move on wi-- wait.

Holy shit, wait--!!!!!

AH--!!

FOR A DATE, THOUGH, OR...??! FREE FOR WHAT???

OH M-- ALEXA!! PLAY THAT REMIX WITH BEYONCE IN IT BECAUSE

I.

AM ON.

TO SEE.

MY HUSBAND.

I'M HAPPEH. I'M HAPPEH. TO SEE. MY HUSBAND...until we weren't lmao. Yeeeeeeeeeah, let's dial it back and remember that this is one of those visual novels. Now, let me explain the issue.

So...there are times where Liev gets reeeeeally intense.

Like, insanely so, and, I don't think you guys understand what I mean (well, of course you don't, because you haven't played it yet. Duh moment. Anyways...); he's one of those people that either feels nothing, or he feels everything...sorta. Let me keep explaining.

So, one of the first things that we did was go out to eat, and, admittedly, the staff were struggling a bit, but it's all good, ya know, because we're with bae. Like, we're talkin' and vibin'. We're learning about him, he's learning about us, and we're just chillin'. Time goes by, and the waiter eventually comes out with our main dish, as expected.

Now, that sounds like something totally normal and innocent, right?

Yeah, no...apparently it wasn't, because Liev was really pissed off about that waiter interrupting our conversation.

What makes this more off-putting is that, not only did he highkey blow up about the waiter, but he started saying some pretty dark stuff. Now, mind you! We just confessed to this man and are having our first real conversation with him, and he's coming out of the woodwork with this stuff. Like, Liev was saying that he was in love with us and how everyone could burn in hell and that he wants to hold us but also murder everyone in the room and--

Like, bro, it just kept going...but then he stops and returns to normal conversation like the conversation hadn't ever not been normal. Like, oh...m'kay ._.

Naturally, this kind've puts us off...like, a lot. Actually, this puts us off so much that we've gone into survival mode. Like, we're literally just trying to get through the date without triggering Liev and getting ourselves killed. Now, this seems like a simple enough task, but, aside from the fact that it's never that easy in games like these, it's a guessing game as to what would actually make Liev flip or not.

Like, are stuffed animals the trigger?

Is it holding his hand?

Is it when we've finally had enough and ignore him?

Like, what makes Liev go from being okay to being not okay? It's literally a matter of life or death to know these things, because Liev is not beyond confrontation.

So, it'd be best to tread lightly, or it could get really violent, really fast.

So! Not bad! Pretty damned solid game!

It definitely wasn't one of my favorites, like, story or yandere-wise, but holy hell, was it one of my favorites clinical-wise! The way that it's clearly laid out that, "No, he's not just some random psycho and a bad person; he's legitimately mentally ill and is in serious need of help" was sooooo satisfyingly done. Now, admittedly, it was a lil' obvious here and there, but it wasn't bad!

Designs of the characters were cute, we had an MC with darker skin, which is, personally, always exciting to see, and the flow of the story was done really well, in my opinion! There were times where it'd go from, like, 0 - 75, sometimes 100, without warning, but it actually made sense as to why it'd happen like that, which was fantastically implied and lowkey laid out.

Anyways, I honestly don't have too much else to say about it, except that I really enjoyed the mental health aspect of it. I loved it so much, I couldn't help but do that thing that I tend to do and diagnose Liev. Lol if you want to see me ramble more about that in depth, you can check that out...whenever I actually post it lmao; it's a work in moderate progress at the moment ^^;

To get back on track though, I recommend a casual playthrough! It's the right duration for the story that's being provided, there's multiple endings, which is always interesting, and Liev is a lil' cutie...even though, I really wish that he was at least drinking age. Something about-- well, for the sake of potential spoilers, I'll just say that I don't like that Liev was out here collecting scholarships. Like, that just gave me full ick lmao. It was my fault, though, because had I actually read the game page and not said "Ooh, he's cute and the page is in pink! <3", then I would've saw how it said big as shit that

and

Like, there was no reason for me to be shocked by mentions of him getting scholarships and shit lmao. I literally just had to read.

Okay, wait, no, stop; I got off track. ANYWAYS lol. Me recommend game. Game solid. Game make me go "Damn...that actually kind've sucks, and I feel bad...". Game might make you go "Damn...that actually kind've sucks, and I feel bad...", too. All right! Now with that finally being said, I invite you to go to the dev's page, and tell them, "Hey! You did a good job here! When's the next game dropping? I'll be first in line for it, because I want you to keep doing the thing!". I'm sure that'll make them feel all warm and fuzzy and proud.

That's pretty much it! This review was a little scattered, huh? Well, I'm sure it's all right, because I'm finally done yappin'. The link for the game is right here, and, if you wanted to see the therapist side of me and hear me yap about Liev's potential diagnosis, keep a look out for that post. It'll be posted...eventually lmao. That's honestly why it took me so long to post this rambley review, because the plan was to put them out together, but it was nearing towards the end of the month, and you already knew that I wasn't going to let an entire month go by without posting something. Better yet, I try really hard not to.

Anyways, the biggest preesh for getting this far! Please, please, please remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

Pulsatio Cordis

[thinkingthougths]

-Ghost x female reader

1595 words

Warnings- none in this chapter.

The haunting of a Ghost

Chapter 2

“Aren’t you supposed to be in bed, soldier.”

The sudden sound coming from behind you made you drop the empty glass in the sink as you let out a foul curse in surprise.

Beneath the kitchens archway stood sergeant Kyle Garrick with his arms crossed and an amused smirk on his dirty face.

“Fucking hell Gaz, you almost gave me a damn heart attack.” You hissed at him, holding a hand over your heart that’s about to jump out of your rib cage.

The nasty words you wanted to throw at him for sneaking up on you and giving you a fright simmered out when you took notice of the smudges of dirt decorating his face and camouflage uniform.

“It’s already been a week?” Your eyes took in his wearisome face as you mumbled out the question that mostly was to yourself.

You remember the night before he and a few others shipped out for a week long mission somewhere you weren’t ranked high enough to know. It was the night. The one where Ghost chose to begin haunting your every waking moment after he burned his hooded eyes into your soul.

Gaz shoved himself off of the wall he had put his weight on and sauntered over to one of the round dining tables near you. With a weary sigh, he plopped down onto a chair and scratched his week old scruff.

“A long ass week. Successful and no major injuries on the team, though.” There’s a croaky undertone in his voice, hinting that he hasn’t slept well enough for probably the entire week.

During the time you’ve spent on this base, you’ve only ever had one mission together with the sergeant, about a year ago or so. Vividly recollecting the cool demeanor he adapted the second your feet touched ground out from the helicopter. Gone was the lax and easygoing Gaz, instead an exceptional soldier revealed himself. It was an amazing thing to witness, only ever heard tales and buzz before of the adept super soldier he transformed into.

Outside of the war zone, you and Gaz became solid friends. Even though he ranked higher than you, he never treated you as inferior. Which was otherwise quite common with these macho soldiers.

Chewing on the inside of your cheeks, you wavered on whether you should bite the bullet and confess the thoughts that’s been with you since his small departing party. If his teammate and close friend had some sort of feelings towards you. May it be infatuation or downright disgust. The mere knowing would vehemently calm your nerves and perhaps make it a bit easier to be around Ghost again.

The clock ticks on the wall. It’s the witching hour, a time when supernatural beings are believed to be the strongest. You already have a ghost haunting you, all hours of the day.

Hastily fetching the glass and filling it up to the brim with water, you chug down half of it to moisten your throat that has now become not only dry from the earlier sweating but now also from trepidation from spilling what’s been nagging you for seven days.

Your voice fails you as a strangled squeal leaves your lips instead of actual words. Gaz, lost in his own post mission musings, takes no notice and instead determinedly slams a hand on the table, making it rattle from the unintentional force.

“I need a shower before I bloody croak from exhaustion.” He declares, forcing his battered muscles to rise from the wobbly chair. “And you, need to get back to your bed, young lady.” Nodding his chin towards you, waving a weak goodbye as he leaves the kitchen.

And that was it. He went back to his barrack and left you standing with your jaw slack.

You did pity him, recognizing the toll an intense mission takes on one’s mind and body. But you also resent him, just a tad, for not noticing the awkward behavior you clearly and unwillingly were presenting. You really wanted to get some goddamn answers and when the opportunity showed itself, you messed up and choked on water.

It seems you can’t catch a break this week, you discontentedly thought to yourself as you marched back to the barracks where your sweat drenched poor excuse of a bed awaits you.

-

At noon, much to your chagrin, training was scheduled, hand to hand combat taught by some skilled superior. There’s been talks of a new instructor that will train you, no name had been given so it’s going to be a complete surprise.

Stood outside the gyms door, murky light made its way through the frosted glass and blurred out everything for you except for dancing shadows of people moving around in there.

It was an unusually cold day for mid autumn. Frosty tendrils of winds grazed your reddened cheeks as you contemplated today.

You reached for the metal doorhandle and was met with tiny sparks of pain as the sharp cold metal seeped into your skin. Retracting your hand instantly, checking your palm as if you had been burned with ice.

A crow flew over you, cawing its screech and looking like the textbook sign of a bad omen.

It certainly felt like it, being warned by something otherworldly to heed the signs and not enter the gym. Instead run away as far as you can and save yourself from whatever horrible destiny may lay inside these trepidatious doors.

If only participation wasn’t needed.

Voices coming from behind the corner of the building pushed you into finally opening the heavy door with anxiety cursing through your warm blood vessels.

While inside, beelining it to the women’s locker room, you sweep your eyes along the people on the workout machines and training mats. Scanning each person inside to find out if he’s here.

The insane physique the behemoth of a man has doesn’t just magically appear. No, Ghost spend many hours in here, priming his mighty body and growing those thick muscles. His calamitous body and towering height is part of the reason he scares you, if he wishes he can easily crush your skull, pop it like a melon between his bulging biceps.

Nausea finds its way up your throat. To daydream about the countless way the lieutenant can end your life isn’t the smartest thing to do. Not when you’re about to experience sparring and similar holds Ghost can use to blow out your light.

An idea lights itself inside your brain. What if you shift the attention to another version of him. The second, and most unlikely, guess on why he acts differently with you.

That he fancies you. The outcome would at least leave you alive in the end, right? Actually, there’s a big chance you might not survive him in that scenario either.

You imagine what kind of immoral and depraved stuff Ghost must be into. There’s simply no way he prefer to be vanilla under the covers after the things he’s experienced in his somber life. A traumatic up-growing (heard once by a gossiping group passing by you) and a career as a cold blooded mercenary. No sane man survives such a chronicle of ungodly tribulations and comes out normal.

So, in a crestfallen conclusion, you’re dead meat either way.

Chatter from the girls in the locker room concludes you’re not the only one overstrung about today’s practice. One of them had apparently overhead a higher ranking and very experienced soldier is to be today’s instructor and that he’s going to absolutely break everyone’s spirit. Just great, it’s exactly what you needed, having your soul crushed by man screaming how shitty you are.

Persistence to surviving the military life you signed yourself off to a couple years back, when life was meaningless and you needed a firm hand to guide you, makes you a bit gutsy though. And that’s very much needed right now.

Proceeding to change into a black fitted T-shirt and matching gym leggings, you determinately march your way past the machines and land next to the other people here for the training. All standing in a neat row adjacent to the square training mat, patiently awaiting your instructor.

You’re pending between taking the opportunity of having all your frustrations let out by pretend fighting with the others or to tell a small white lie that you pulled a muscle during your last workout and are going to have to sit this one out.

The unusually high anxiety that’s been eating you up is putting you on edge, you can feel a phantom pair of dark eyes burning in the back of your head, it has you chewing on your nails and fidgety scanning the vast area. No one’s paying you any attention, no one’s even looking at you. It’s all in your head, you keep saying to yourself trying to make the queasiness disappear.

Some unnoticeable breathing exercises and you think your heart rate has gone down again. The thrum of the heartbeats is no longer clogging up your hearing.

You release a haggard sigh and unclench your tense fingers.

Just as you finally find some peace, you hear the door to the gym open up and all the former lively voices fades and machines slows down into a strained silence.

You don’t have to turn around and see who it was that just entered the building.

The raised hair on your arms and the rank smell of fear from the others reveals the persons identity. Not many can silence an entire room by just entering.

Ghost.

[quibbs126]

if you havent yet, could you do an almond x latte fankid? i love that ship a lot :)

Here we are, this is Almond Milk Cookie

Funny enough, I was actually trying to go back and find this post after editing something, only to realize I never actually posted it and left it in drafts. Only for one day, but still

Anyways, so on to him

So Almond Milk here is a healer, using almost exclusively milk magic. He started out in Parfaedia, and spent a good portion of time there, until he switched over to the Vanilla Kingdom to learn healing magic, where he now works as a doctor

He’s a very friendly and kind sort, and he’s very dependable. Also, despite what some may think from his profession, he’s quite physically strong as well

However he is self conscious about not being made of “real milk”, instead being made from almonds, and he wonders if his false ingredient hinders his healing abilities. His mother has told him that whether or not his ingredient really counts as “real milk” doesn’t matter, but it’s never been something he’s able to let go. He doesn’t really make it that known anymore though, preferring to keep it to himself

Now on to design things

So I’ve had the name Almond Milk as an almondlatte kid idea for a good while now. Lattes are made of coffee and milk, and there exists a form of milk made of almonds, so it’s the obvious choice

Almond milk:

I made the initial rough sketch some months ago, so I don’t entirely remember the thought process behind it. But it looks nice, and like Latte’s but with one of Almond’s hair colors

I’m not sure why I gave him a thicker body type, but whatever, he has one. It’s not like I’m that good at drawing super skinny Cookies anyways

His outfit was originally going to be more hospital like, and probably somewhat closer to Butter Roll’s, until I decided that maybe I should make it more fantasy looking. Especially with all of my Almond kids generally having more modern looks to them, or at least in the way that Almond is “modern”, I don’t know the right word

The small cloak thing was a bit of a struggle, especially with his smile, but I eventually got something

In the sketch I gave his almond brooch something around it that looked nice, but I wasn’t really sure what it was going into the lineart, so I made it leaves. They probably shouldn’t have lines and should instead be solid green, but whatever

I gave him that spoon last minute in the sketch, since I remembered that as I said prior, I tend to not give my fankids accessories or tools anymore, and I wanted to rectify that. Unfortunately his pose didn’t really lend me well to putting it in his hands, so it’s just slapped on to the back. I’m also noticing now that the spoon itself it too small, at least on the bowl thing. But it’d be a big hassle to try and fix it, so I guess I’m stuck with it annoying the crap out of it

Oh yeah, so as mentioned earlier, I came to edit something in his design, that being his colors. Originally he looked like this

I liked the blue, and it does give him a color scheme unique from his parents, but my big problem was that the colors reminded me of Marcille from Dungeon Meshi. I don’t know if the outfit is exactly like hers, but it was bugging me, so I changed it. I think overall I like the new color scheme better, but I just wanted to mention the old one

I’m actually quite satisfied with how he turned out. Though granted I did have ideas going in about what to do with him, so that probably helped

Anyways, so that’s Almond Milk. I hope you like him

[bearimba]

Pokemon Mini Headcanons

Realized it's been a solid minute since I've shared anything. so! here's some pokemon headcanon tidbits that have kinda been floating around in my head but I don't have anywhere to put them yet:

Barry is extremely tall. Like, at least six feet. Since he's very visibly the goofy type, it's not super intimidating until suddenly he's barreling down the street and nearly knocking people over in his wake. He's also incredibly clumsy, so it's kind of a bull(tauros?)-in-a-china-shop situation.

Leaf is part of the team that revolutionized and maintains the PSS (not part of the original team though, she's too young for that), which is of course led by Bill. Where Bill came up with the, made the team, and did a bunch of hardware stuff, Leaf is in charge of software stuff and does coding for the different programs. As for the rest of the team. well. I don't know who they are bc I haven't gotten that far.

Also, Red's sign name for Leaf is Green, as in, literally the sign for the color (the same goes for Blue). Blue's often calls her Greenie as a result.

As Hoenn's Champion, Brendan is considered a very down-to-earth and blunt person, which is great and all until you remember he's from the ✨️bearimba pokeverse✨️'s equivalent of Florida and is basically Reigning Florida Man Supreme. He's definitely done some crazy stuff but it kinda gets shoved on the back burner (that definitely isn't partially because the media pushes his more serious side in order to fight the "all Hoennians are unhinged" allegations).

Lucas is legally deaf (deaf but not Deaf, he lost his hearing as a kid) and uses hearing aids. He can kinda sorta understand people without them, but it's less like he understands the words and more like he understands the sounds that are supposed to be word, so it's way more convenient to keep them in. Whenever he doesn't want to deal with Dawn's and Barry's shenanigans, he just turns them off, closes his eyes, and relishes in the relative peace and quiet.

He's also the one who gets transported back to Hisui during the final battle with Dialga/Palkia/Giratina. Long story short (bearimba DPPt/PLA rewrite when?), his hearing aids get destroyed in the process of getting transported and he's forced to go through the events of PLA at a huge disadvantage, mostly relying on his quick wit and vast knowledge of pokemon to survive the game.

Lorelei, Karen, and Clair are all besties, and they meet up regularly to have brunch and share the latest gossip (aka pooling together their resources to gather info on their enemies, discuss the most recent affairs in Kanto/Johto, and more, all under the guise of "girls' time").

Silver and Janine first meet when Silver gets accidentally caught up in a prank meant for the E4, for which Janine very vehemently apologizes (under threat from Koga) and Silver reluctantly forgives her (under threat from Lance). They get along surprisingly well after that, especially after they both get involved in the Kanto League as gym leaders, and they eventually become pretty good friends.

Team Rocket was kinda just a shady family business until Giovanni took over in his twenties. In the 30ish years he presided over the it, he managed to develop it into a massive, multi-level and multi-department organization with their fingers in just about every aspects of the Kanto economy before their collapse. (all things considered, it's kinda funny/pathetic how things ended---he had all this power, then just threw all that and his kid out the window because some teenager happened to beat him in a pokemon battle)

Indigo Plateau (the actual plateau itself, not the League building) is pretty unique in that it's literally a plateau in the middle of a bunch of mountains. which. isn't really how geography works. Story goes, it was originally a mountain that served as the battleground for a pair of ridiculously overpowered trainers, and it got leveled in the middle of all the fighting. In honor of the plateau's legend, there was a regularly held tournament for pokemon trainers to decide who was the best of the best in the region. Eventually, some guy decided to make it an "official" event, and that's how the Pokemon League got its start before it spread and became an international organization!

[n-m-and-p-avocados-at-law]

Born Again Initial Thoughts Based On One Watch Last Night That I Probably Don't Remember Super Well Because I Didn't Sleep As Much As I Should Have

Spoilers below the cut! Also, this started out sort of coherent and then devolved into random thoughts. Sorry. I'll probably end up having more thoughts later on (especially if I rewatch this weekend like I want to), so I might make another post later. Also, I promise I'm better at forming a coherent thought for my actual job.

Is it a solid show? Yes. Is it as great of a show as the original? No. Is it fair to compare them? I can't decide. Do I think this show could get to the level of the new show? It's possible.

My understanding of what happened is that they initially wrote it to not have Foggy and Karen, they shot a bunch of stuff, the strikes happened, they overhauled things, and they tried to keep a lot of the original stuff they shot (I assume for cost reasons). I think that whole backstory informs a lot of the decisions. That backstory is the "wires behind the TV that I can still sort of see even though they tried to hid them."

I think that the first two episodes are more or less going however they originally planned the series. If they were committed to using that footage, something BIG had to explain why Foggy and Karen aren't there. It had to be big. And, unfortunately, due to timeline reasons, I don't think the Blip was an option.

I do think the decision to make the BIG thing killing Foggy was kind of lazy, and I do think they could've gotten more creative, but I get why they did it. Absent something big happening, it wouldn't make sense for Matt to try and split himself off from DD after Season 2, Defenders, and Season 3 were about him learning they're one and the same. It also wouldn't make sense for him and Karen to get that mad and split off from each other.

I also think killing Foggy was shoehorned in because it wouldn't make sense to put Matt back at rock bottom right after Season 3. I realize the fact that they ever entertained not having Foggy and Karen means I'm giving Marvel/the writers too much credit, but here we are.

All that being said, I don't think Foggy is dead permanently. I'm not sure if it's a fake-out or if he's going to come back from the dead, but I don't think it's permanent. Fake-out is hard because Matt can feel when someone dies (paaaaaaiiinful thought). Although Daredevil is a more grounded MCU show, people have come back to life. The main reason I think they're bringing him back is this interview where Charlie Cox is talking about how excited he was to text Elden Henson and Deborah Ann Woll that they were coming back. I just can't see him being that excited for the 10 minutes we saw.

I will say I might be willing to forgive the writers for this if we get to see Matt getting Foggy back. And not in the same way he got Elektra back, where they were fighting, and she came back wrong, and she didn't remember him. I want them to give Foggy back fully, no stops, and let Matt have the most joyous moment of his life. Give him a miracle where someone comes back for once.

I would also like Elektra back, though, thank you.

ANYWAY, the scene itself was okay. Others have said this, but it felt rushed, and the DD/Bullseye fight didn't hit as hard as the Season 3 fights. It felt like they sort of slapped it on top.

I will say Karen's reactions were a highlight of the scene. I've seen a lot of people talking about how scared she is when she hears Dex hit the ground because it could mean she lost both Matt and Foggy. But in my mind, I'm also thinking about how she knows something devastating happened either way. Because if it's Dex on the ground, it means Matt killed him, and she knows how horrible that would be for him.

I would like some explanation as to why Dex didn't die. I know he has a fancy new spine, but that was a long fall.

Geez, I've written so much and I'm still on the first 10 minutes of Ep. 1. The rest of this will probably bounce around more, I'm just the most caught up on the Foggy thing still.

I actually don't hate that Karen is gone for the moment, other than the fact that it means we don't get that much DAW screentime. I am ALLLLL for the slow burn. And they set them up to be REAL flirty in the beginning with their friend code thing. I have faith Karen is coming back.

I can't decide if I think it makes sense for Matt and Karen to be so hands-off in regards to Fisk's campaign. A part of me thinks Foggy dying is big enough to justify it. A part of me thinks that they didn't think he'd actually win. Not based on real events, what are you talking about? A part of me thinks it's wildly out of character. I don't know, but here we are.

Matt asking for Dex to be sentenced to the fullest extent of the law is such a big thing. Based on the fact that Matt is against killing, I think he's probably generally against life without parole. It makes sense because it's Foggy, but OMG.

I feel like I'm having a hard time grasping who the new characters are at this point. I think that's one of the things that's making me feel like this isn't quite as good. In Season 1, for example, I feel like you already know Foggy so well just from that initial phone call with Matt and their initial interaction with that realtor lady. I don't feel like we got that with these new characters. However, we still have a long way to go, so I'm open and excited to get to know them. In particular, I've heard a lot about Kirsten from comic fans, so excited for her in general.

Others have said this, but it is quite funny that Matt has begun dating a therapist instead of going to therapy.

The fact that Heather is now a marriage counselor for the Fisks is also very funny. At the moment. I do think she's going to die.

I was excited about the Spanish with Hector. I hope we get more, to the degree we did in Season 1 with Mrs. Cardenas (or even more).

Someone pointed out Matt was wearing his glasses inside. I think in general Matt feels off. Not in terms of characterization, just generally. On the surface, he seems okay. But everything feels a little forced to me, like he's having to put a little more effort in. He can't relax and take of his armor in his own home.

Him carrying around the funeral program is devastating.

His decision to not go into the church was so sad. I'm reaaaaallllly hoping Maggie is back at some point. For now, it would make sense if he was avoiding her and God at the same time.

That last scene of Episode 2 was crazy. He was so willing to let himself get beat up. And then they crossed a line, so he had to cross a line.

I like the Punisher foreshadowing with the tattoo. I also think it's interesting that it's something that Matt wouldn't be able to pick up on.

Lawyer!Matt stressed me out a little because it made me think about work, but I'll be okay.

Shifting gears a little bit, it sucks that Fisk getting elected is believable given real-life events.

The Fisk/Vanessa thing is...intriguing. I don't know how I feel at this point.

BB Urich! So excited for BB Urich!

That being said, KEEP BEN'S NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, WILSON!

Who is the little guy from Wednesday at Heather's book signing? I feel like I didn't see anything about him in spoiler stuff.

I miss the old theme. I'm not sure how I feel about the music choices on the whole. I did like the Nick Cave song, though. I could get on board if they used Red Right Hand at some point. I do think that song is heavily associated with Peaky Blinders, though, so I don't know if they'll go there.

I also feel like the way they shot the old show was more interesting/better.

Where is Brett Mahoney? Where is Ellison? I feel like those are also two people who wouldn't let this Fisk stuff slide.

I LOVED the scene in the diner, that felt the most like the old show.

Fisk bringing up his father was interesting.

They packed A LOT into two episodes. I think that they set things up to be promising. There were a lot of seeds planted that I think could go in very interesting/satisfying directions.

I would like an explanation of what happened to everyone during the Blip, thank you.

What is the timeline with Echo/She-Hulk?

I almost forgot, but I'm glad we got a little of Josie.

What happened to Marci? Also, you can't tell me Marci wouldn't have been at that sentencing even if she and Foggy were broken up.

All in all, didn't love it as much as I was hoping I would. I think I would have liked it more if it wasn't living in the shadow of the original show. That being said, I do think there is a lot of potential for it to improve, and I'm ready to go on the ride.

[tae]

hi i was asked by @haumkwak for a gif coloring tutorial :)

some disclaimers

i don't actually know what i'm doing. all of my photoshop knowledge comes from the one (1 🤓☝️) semester i spent as an art major, clicking and sliding random things to see what happens, and two youtube tutorials i watched

this tutorial is mostly for live performance gifs. if i'm giffing mvs or other videos i use waaaayy less adjustments but the logic is pretty similar

i don't use all of the adjustments mentioned in the order i mentioned them, since it really depends on the source video. for this reason i'm not gonna color a single gif throughout the tutorial and instead i'm going to use gifs i colored before to show how i used the adjustment i'm talking about

this is my first time trying to write a tutorial and i suck at explaining things and writing concisely so this turned out to be basically word vomit. if anything doesn't make sense, there's a tl;dr at the end with some videos i recorded of myself coloring a couple gifs to hopefully make things clearer lol

1. color balancing

color balance and/or curves is usually a good place to start considering all the different colors stage lighting can have. i don't always do this first though, i may do it at a later step depending on the lighting. i also sometimes do multiple color balancing layers throughout my process if the colors are really strong

color balancing is also v helpful if a stage looks dull and grayish (usually m countdown and sometimes music bank look like this imo)

1a. color balance

pretty straight forward i think so i won't yap about this too much since you're just sliding the sliders to the opposite of whatever color you're trying to get rid of. but here's an example of how i use color balance to make a gif look less dull/gray. it's kinda subtle but it makes the shadows in the face and skin overall a bit brighter & warmer:

from this set

(i'm gonna include links to the sets the gifs are from bc sometimes i feel like my colorings look ugly on a still frame until i see them in motion lol)

1b. curves

i don't usually use curves by itself for color balancing unless i'm only doing some very light balancing in the hair/shadows. i'll usually just use the black eyedropper tool to select the blackest point in the hair (or clothes... whatever's darker). sometimes i'll use the white eyedropper and set the white point instead, it depends on what looks better.

if i'm using curves to make a gif appear less dull/gray, i'll start off with the red curve and click on the finger tool thing that's above the eye droppers and then adjust the curve by clicking directly on which spots i want to add red to (usually the shadows in the face), then do the same with the green & blue curves to balance if needed.

1c. camera raw filter's color/white balance

if the stage lighting is just way too strong and i'm having a hard time with color balance and curves, i'll open up camera raw to see if i can get a better base to work with

i basically just select the eyedropper tool that's next to the white balance under the "color" menu and click on what should be the whitest point, adjust the sliders if needed, then convert back to frames and continue coloring with the regular adjustment layers.

(from this set)

i included a comparison of using white balance in camera raw vs setting the white point in curves just for funsies to show the difference between the two. in both, i set the white point on the center of the same spike of chaewon's top and i feel like camera raw does a better job at neutralizing

2. fill layer

ok next if the skin looks super pale & washed out i'll use a fill layer (layer > new fill layer > solid color...) and set it to either multiply, hue or saturation at about 20 - 35% opacity and pick a pink, peachy, brownish or orangey color depending on what looks best

i'll go through all three of the blending modes and pick whichever looks best but in general:

multiply: i think this one is the most effective at giving skin some color but i don't always like how it looks, especially if there's a lot of whites and light colors in the clothes and background since it'll color them too

from this set

hue: makes colors more toned down and similar, and can make the skin stand out a bit more in comparison, so it works best if the skin isn't too washed out. if i'm having a hard time removing unwanted colors from the skin during color balancing this can also help with that

from this set

saturation: the setting i usually go for just bc it looks cooler lol. it can bring out a lot of different colors, especially in the hair, which i think is pretty neat. i also just think that it looks nicer than if you were to use hue/saturation or vibrance/saturation sliders

from this set

and just for funsies... here's a comparison of the final coloring on yeonjun but with the fill layer set to different blending modes:

they all look pretty good, hue & saturation would just need more adjustments to get the skin looking like it does with the multiply option, but i feel like multiply just gives off a nicer vibe overall

3. lighting

3a. curves

i do the same thing that i said i do in 1b, where i use the finger tool to adjust the curve by clicking directly on the spots i want to adjust rather than using the actual curve itself.

i'll start by clicking on a dark spot in the hair and dragging it down to make it darker, then clicking somewhere on the background and dragging up to make the image overall brighter. then i'll mess around in the face and drag up and down depending on what makes the skin look bright but doesn't wash it out even more. i do this on the RBG curve.

if i skipped using a color fill layer or using curves for color balancing earlier (or if i just think the skin still needs more color), i'll adjust the other curves too depending on what colors i think it needs

from this set

3b. levels

i mainly use levels for minor adjustments or fine-tuning what i did with curves, but i'll use it as my "main" adjustment layer for lighting if the original lighting isn't too bad

from this set

3c. brightness/contrast

i don't use this adjustment much but if i do, i'll also use it more for fine tuning whatever i did with curves and/or levels

3d. exposure

i rarely use exposure since i feel like it's easy to go overboard with it so i'm not sure how to explain when i decide to use it and how lol. i think i mostly use it if a clip is pretty dark & gray looking or for fine tuning if i want to intensify how black any dark colors are.

from this set (looking back at this i actually think i went overboard with the exposure lol)

4. hue/saturation and selective color my beloveds!!!!!

4a. hue/saturation

i prefer to adjust the saturation with this layer rather using the vibrance & saturation sliders so that i can choose how saturated each color is individually

the colors i mess with most are the reds and yellows to color skin, and i adjust the sliders based on what makes the skin look more vibrant. i'll adjust other colors too, depending on what colors are in the background and/or clothes

i almost always do a second & maybe third hue/sat layer and adjust the range of reds selected so that only the lips and/or blush are selected. then, i adjust the sliders so they can either stand out more, or if the blush is too bright or making the face look too red, i'll adjust them so that it matches the skin more.

4b. selective color

the colors i adjust the most with this adjustment are white, black, neutral and sometimes red & yellow, depending on how much adjusting the skin still needs at this point. i really only increase the blacks for all colors but if i feel a certain color needs more balancing i'll add other colors too (ex: if the blacks are still too blue/purple from lighting or just look kinda faded i'll increase yellow, if the skin still looks very dull i'll increase yellow & magenta and decrease cyan in the whites and/or reds and yellows)

depending on the colors in the clothes & background i may mess around with the other colors too depending on what i'm trying to do

from this set

**: i also adjusted the cyans + blues in this layer to make the background darker but didn't include the settings for that since my main focus in this step was the skin

5. camera raw

i don't use camera raw a lot but if i'm having a hard time coloring a gif using the adjustments above or if i think a clip would be a good candidate for the type of coloring i was talking about with anon here, i'll open up camera raw

i don't save my camera raw colorings for very long so i can't show any before/afters but my general process is:

light: increase exposure, contrast, highlights & whites, decrease shadows & blacks

curve: sometimes i adjust it, but not always

color grading: set highlights & midtones to something orangey, set shadows to something blue or more neutral or just leave them alone, depends on the clip. then mess with the sliders below each color wheel and the blending & balance sliders

mess around with the color mixer & calibration sliders until i get what i'm going for

do some further adjusting with the regular adjustment layers once i've converted back to frames

here are links to sets i've colored with camera raw: 1, 2, 3, 4

6. tl;dr

if u made it this far and none of this tutorial makes sense (sorry :( ) or just don't wanna read all that here's a folder with some videos of me coloring a couple different gifs so hopefully that makes things a lil clearer. they're sped up so slow them down if needed. they also got sims 2 salsa music for bgm so plz enjoy

also i save all of my psds so if u ever wanna see a specific one you can always ask me off-anon and i'll share it w you!! just pinky promise that u won't use it without crediting

and... yeah that's it i guess. bye

[momo-shut-the-fuck-up]

So i ve done the main story in infinity nikki and im gonna stop playin now, before i squeeze the game dry of content and have nothing (new) to do on release.

Time for a lil review/thoughts post

I m not gonna review every single mechanic in the game, simply things that stood out to me or that i wanna talk about. I also wont add more images, i kinda want ppl to see the world for themselves... i ll share more when the game comes out tho.

There s a lot of text under this. Tldr, i like the game i think it's a solid, enjoyable experience with a good gameplay loop, the story isn't for me, and i'll keep playin of course. And u should try it too if ur device wont blow itself up tryin to run it.

Dress up

The bread and butter of Nikki games... it's good as usual. Game doesn't shy away from long skirts or coat tails or complicated ballgowns just cuz nikki can run and jump and dash now and i'm very happy bout that. There's some clipping issues once in a while, but it's nothing major and the clothes we do have in the game are lovely. There s an evolution system for some of the sets, which makes em a diff color.... usually they can evolve once, but i saw Three extra evolutions for one of the UR sets and that scares me. Bcs to evolve them u have to craft the suit again. So u have to pull 4 copies of a suit to max it out..

Combat

Game's definitely succeeding in its quest for being cozy. There's no real stakes, combat isn't difficult in the slightest but i do welcome it- super simple but it's pretty fun regardless. The boss fights were surprisingly creative and fun for what they are, it's just unfortunate that you have to do them more than once or twice (crafting mats)- but they do change what the boss does so it's different depending on what mat u are farming for... and u can claim double or triple or however much stamina u got-le of the mat after u complete it once. So that s rly nice.

Exploration

I actually think it's really really good. Again this isn't a difficult or complicated game, not yet i guess... but with the major goal being "get new clothes" and "take pretty pictures maybe", the open world feels actively engaging to participate in. There's collectibles everywhere, little challenges you can do that are diverse but quick, styling battles, collecting everythin from animals fur to bugs to fish, and allll of this brings u closer to that never ending goal of woo more clothes.

However even if a challenge doesnt give you a blueprint, it's still just. Really Nice to exist in this world. It's very whimsical, as expected of Lilith, and the world has a combination of realism and cartoon artstyle that is just soso appealing to me. It's genuinely how i would've imagined miraland to look in 3d. Shame it's not the same miraland we know..

Story

Hmm... silly is one word i could use for it. Cute also. The story isn't doin anythin bad per se, and i did start skippin dialogue near the end w the pieceys because i want to keep at least Some part of the story for the game's release... but i get the gist of it, and it s just not my thing.

It feels like a story made for children, and it definitely would get a G rating. Easy and simple to follow, there's moments of tension or sadness sure but with the antagonist bein a literal babie lookin cutey fairy with a grown man's voice, or the creatures that i'm interacting with are a bunch of. Fuckin weird lookin big eyed balls of fabric that look closer to plushies than somethin Alive... it's all so silly and dramatic sometimes i can t help but cringe.

Part of it is a me problem, if u just open ur heart and free urself from the cringe the story is fine. It's just a little too kiddy for me and i so desperately hope it won't stay like this forever. My prayers might be answered though, there's a whole war beyond the borders and we have refugees around... shit's lookin bad for Umbrosa.

Other things i noticed that i liked:

The effect on nikki's skin when it's raining, she actually has water dripping down her face... its so cool

Momo capes are actually kinda neat ngl. Especially cuz the fucker follows u around everywhere, at least i can bedazzle him

Npc models look really good im a fan. They do suffer from "everyone is very beautiful" syndrome, which makes some of the npc villains look/sound ridiculous, but they have kid-teen-adult-elderly versions of models (i never see teen models in these games! Its cool!) And some body variation. The grandmas look so lovely i cry

The dark skin tone is really dark, and it looks quite nice and natural.

The lighting engine in this game is just rly good in general. God bless UE5

The edges of the map where there s forest, which u obv cant go thru, the forest is made to be darker, thicker.... i m a huge fan of this idk y. It's not just *invisible wall in front of an open field* nopee cant go there lets explore that area later tee hee. And it looks good to boot.

Camera function is p robust, has more options for changin brightness/saturation/contrast etc which i feel Shining Nikki lacks.

Some of the creature designs are so good man i looove themm <3.... the pieces are awful tho. Ok creature design is a hit and miss sometimes but the stray hatty? Peak. All the weirdy fashionable animals? Peak.

Bein able to quick switch thru ur saved sets while in the overworld is real neat

Oke that was it. Bye

[changingplumbob]

Willow Creek... the town itself wasn't too hidden, but Glenn supposed sometimes it was best to hide in plain sight. He didn't know where Phoebus had gotten the funds for this piece of land but he supposed a man a few centuries old had savings. He had no wish to talk to the coven leader just now though, he needed his grandfather. He'd had a few solid cries to let out his feelings but the sadness still lingered for now. Approaching the land, muttering the counterspells he would need to get past the barriers, Glenn ran into a somewhat familiar cat.

Glenn: Well hello there. I remember you, I think

Pockets: Meow Meow, Meow Meow Meow

Glenn: *chuckles* Hi there Gillian

Gillian: *as Pockets* Aww, how'd you know it was me

Glenn: Cats don't actually say the word meow, they just make the noise

Gillian: Oh... I'll try remember that. Pockets doesn't mind me using him to practice

Gillian: I didn't think you'd be back. Phoebus said you didn't want to join the coven

Glenn: I haven't committed, I just need to see grandfather and clear my head

Gillian: I'm sorry your boyfriend didn't work out

Glenn: He wasn't- we weren't- nevermind. What's with these clouds? Are the teens in one of their moods

Gillian: Miranda says they always are, but maybe it'll clear up now you're back. Harmony says Spring is moody

Glenn: Not back Gillian, I've never been here

Gillian: Do you like it? My powers couldn't do much of course but I watched everyone else work. They were amazing! Phoebus says if I keep practicing being different animals they'll be easier for me to turn in to and then I can really help out

Glenn: I mean you're still a kid

Gillian: Yes but I'm going to be a kid forever, I don't want to be a bad one

Glenn: You'll be fine

Gillian: I better get moving, Pockets says there's some mice nearby we could watch and Phoebus says I have to stay in for at least another hour

Glenn: *chuckles* Don't you think you'd be better watching mice in person

Gillian: Pockets can be plenty stealthy, and I'm sure the mice love him

Glenn had serious doubts about that but best to let her discover things on her own.

Gillian: Bye Glenn, say hi to Howard. Again I'm super sorry about your boyfriend

Glenn didn't bother correcting her again. Relationships were a weird enough concept for kids without introducing reality TV shows in to them. After bending down to give Pockets/Gillian a final pat he steadied himself to head inside. At least the weather had cleared up even if his mood hadn't.

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