#this subject has been debated to death but I wasn't here for that so this is just my POV

[technoturian]

Everybody goes, "You're not supposed to pick it apart logically!"

Well then they should've made it airtight logically. Say they've already tried it with monkeys or something and it was successful but they couldn't jump species so they needed the human sample. Say they've already tried to replicate the exact situation that created Ellie -- now that the show has established Marlene actually knew (or at least strongly suspected) Anna got bit while in labor -- and it didn't work. Explain why they can't use stem cells or blood samples or embryos from Ellie or why they can't do non-lethal brain surgery or wait until Ellie is dead and donates her body to science given they don’t have the infrastructure to mass produce or mass distribute a cure at this point in time anyway.

I just can't go "Joel's actions were inexcusable because he killed a bunch of people and he would've killed them even if the cure was 100%". Lots of people have great intentions and do terrible things and lots of people do great things for the wrong reasons. The Fireflies intended to find a cure and save the world, Joel intended to save his daughter and kill anyone who got in his way, regardless of if the cure would’ve worked. That’s true. However, their intentions are secondary to their actions and if I can't buy into the Fireflies’ choices and find them reasonable then they're just murdering a girl, in which case why would I consider Joel's actions wrong?

I almost wish they had established that it was going to work in a reasonable and logical way, and that they had the means to get it out there. That would’ve made the story richer and darker and more what I think was intended. Because to me it doesn't feel like a man destroying the world for his daughter, it feels like him trying to save his tangible future at the expense of their entirely theoretical one.

[yuri-is-online]

You Simple Vile Monstrosity: Rook and the Flowers of Evil

My other two dumb history posts have at least a semblance of fun fact to them, but this is mostly going to be literary analysis and some theory. There's some interesting stuff here sure, but I don't really think it adds much to the overall landscape of twst theories. But it does make Rook make more sense to me so I am making this post anyway.

So without further ado, if you are like me and enjoy reading twst theories, you might know that the beginning lines of Twisted Wonderland are something we have been debating the meaning of since the game came out really. While I think we have been closing in on their true meaning as Chapter 7 progresses along, the phrase "Flowers of Evil" can actually refer to something specific: a french poetry collection of the same name (Les Fleurs du mal in french) by a poet name Charles Baudelaire originally published in 1857. The collection was extremely controversial, but today it is highly lauded and has inspired several other literary works, including a manga series by Shūzō Oshimi of the same name. I found out about the poetry collection while working on this request and finally finished reading it... and another essay by Baudelaire for reasons we can talk about later on in the post. For now let's talk poetry.

Beauté! 100 Points!

I don't speak french, so I read an English translation done by Aaron Poochigian that does contain the original french text in the back half of the book. The Flowers of Evil is split into seven-ish parts: The Flowers of Evil (just containing "To the Reader"), Spleen and the Ideal, Parisian Scenes, Wine, Flowers of Evil (again but with 12 poems this time), Revolt, and then Death. The sections are more or less organized by the subject of the poems, Spleen and the Ideal is the largest with Baudelaire musing over what the ideal concept of beauty is while Wine deals with getting drunk (on wine mostly if you can believe it.) One of the things that jumps out very quickly about Baudelaire's work is that his concept of beauty is almost synonymous with his concept of evil. He writes a lot about maggots eating corpses, about decay, he has a few poems that talk about vampires appearing to be the highest form of beauty but really being husks of rotted flesh; it's all very much about this acceptance that evil is a part of life and human nature, so therefore there must be beauty in it. The concept of "ideal beauty" must by it's nature be divorced from the concept of "morality." When Rook talks about the potential for Leona or Malleus to kill him and how beautiful that would be, I think he means the act of destruction itself would be beautiful. The circumstances surrounding it and the consequences of it are irrelevant to the concept; this is also why while he initially says he cannot find the crimson lotuses in GloMas beautiful Deuce accuses him of doing just that after everything is said and done. He cannot find beauty in Rollo's actions, but the visual and the fight are beautiful because of the effort he and the other students put in to stop them. And perhaps most importantly, it's why he is willing to drink Vil's poison and look upon what is supposedly ultimate ugliness and say "In this moment you are the fairest of them all." Because how could an act born out of such raw and genuine emotion be anything but?

Le Chasseur D'Armour, The Hunter of Love

Baudelaire wasn't just a poet, he fancied himself a critic and wrote multiple essays, the one I read for this post is The Painter of Modern Life. Which is actually a collection of several but they are all related, and I was directed to them by this wordpress post. In it, Baudelaire muses over how things can be both beautiful and ugly, and why:

"Beauty is made up of an eternal, invariable element, whose quantity it is excessively difficult to determine, and of a relative, circumstantial element... which severally or all at once, the age, its fashions, its morals, its emotions."

He was talking about fashion plates that depicted outdated costumes, but his point was more or less that if you strictly look at the design of the costume they look ridiculous: ugly. But when you take into account their historical value (these particular plates were all from the around the time of the French revolution) they become exceedingly important: beautiful. He also mentions in this same essay the importance of not just taking into account the opinions of so called "masters" and sneers at people who think they understand what is beautiful just because they have seen a painting done by a professional:

"... to declare that Raphael, or Racine, does not contain the whole secret, and that minor poets too have something good, solid and delightful to offer... that we might love general beauty, as it is expressed by classical poets and artists, we are no less wrong to neglect particular beauty, the beauty of circumstance and the sketch of manners."

In chapter 5, while helping Vil judge the auditions for VDC, Rook gives every audition 100 points because, well, in his mind they are all an example of perfect beauty specifically because they are the work of amateurs, and that is no less valuable to him or less worthy of praise that the work of the master. Now granted he clearly does value professional quality (he did have reasons for voting for Neige other than being a massive simp. Valid ones even if loosing does sting) but that's only in the context of strict rules and guidelines. When Rook is asked for his opinion, while he certainly does believe there is an absolute, academic definition beauty, he doesn't place any value on where that beauty comes from. Baudelaire muses over how human life "accidentally" puts mysterious beauty into the world, and the true appreciator of beauty must make himself not strictly a poet but:

"...an observer of life, and only later set himself the task of acquiring the means of expressing it... For most of us... the fantastic reality of life has become singularly diluted. [But he] never ceases to drink it in; his eyes and memories are full of it."

I strongly dislike suggesting in these posts that xyz is "the definitive reason" for why a character acts the way that he does, but I do think it is very interesting how well this describes Rook's ethos. He thinks of himself as a hunter, but in order to do that he needs to observe. Sure he takes it to exceptionally extreme lengths, but it makes him one of the most lively members of the NRC cast. Baudelaire is right, there are a million things about life we miss on a day to day basis wherein true beauty lies, but Rook sees all of it. His eyes, memories, camera, and secret photo albums are fit to burst with it.

My Noble and Beautiful Flower of Evil

I mentioned the opening text at the beginning of this post, and I stand by my interpretation that the phrase "flower of evil" it uses likely is not a specific reference to any of the poems themselves... beyond the obvious note that it is a collection of poems about finding beauty in, well, evil and most of the characters are based off of villains.

But there was something that started gnawing at me when I read the introduction to my translation, which was written by a poet named Dana Gioia. It was a very well written summary of Baudelaire's life and the significance of his work, but it mentioned a connection that I have seen brought up in twst theorizing before: Edgar Allen Poe.

You see, Baudelaire was obsessed with Poe. To the point that (according to the introduction) "He considered Poe a sacred martyr for art and referred to him as 'Saint Edgar.' In his morning devotions, Baudelaire prayed first to God and then to Poe."

I have nothing to say on that (because really what could you) but the point that Gioia wanted to make in that introduction was that Poe had a massive influence on Baudelaire's writing style. He wrote multiple essays on his work and translated them into French because he felt like Poe deserved the recognition, so while Gioia used this to argue that Poe's influence on Baudelaire shouldn't be underestimated...

I can't find the post, but someone was talking about how Malleus's mother's name Meleanor is very similar to "Lenore" and I recall people sort of brushing that connection off. I don't that name is a coincidence. I think the poem "Lenore" might very well have been something thought about when constructing her character, and that the themes in Poe's work might be very relevant to the overall story of Twisted Wonderland.

Something about ravens and telltale hearts just feels like they fit; maybe we have got it all wrong and Yuu's visions aren't coming from the mirror in Ramshackle, but the floorboards.

Semi- Unrelated Fun Facts:

If you read the name Baudelaire and thought to yourself it sounded familiar, you might have be thinking of the Baudelaire children from A Series of Unfortunate Events. This isn't exactly a coincidence as the author of the series admits to his writing being heavily influenced by Charles Baudelaire to the point he actually wrote the afterword to the translation I own.

Dana Gioia is the former Poet Laureate of the state of California, something that deeply confused me. Apparently the Governor of California appoints someone to a 2 year term and they travel around the state to promote poetry and literacy which is apparently something that 46/50 U.S. states and D.C. does to????

My glorious motherland of Pennsylvania is not one of these states, apparently we only ever appointed one, then eliminated the position entirely after he retired, and then started just. Handing out ones to people in individual cities and counties. Which is so par for the course here I don't know why I am surprised.

One of the first things any college level literature course will try to drill into you is that you don't examine the life of an author when examining their work. It might sound silly, but I think Baudelaire is a great example of why that's important. The man was addicted to drugs and sex, refused to get a "real job", lived off his inheritance from his wealthy father and eventually whatever money he could convince his mother to send him his entire adult life, and had her use her political connections to bail him out of legal trouble multiple times.

If I thought too hard about that it would make his lines in "Skeleton Laborers" (Nothingness is treacherous.//Even Death is a deceiver.//Alas, forever and ever,//work may be awaiting us) fall terribly flat, which I think does them a disservice. The man was very talented and I am glad he wrote them because I felt very seen when I read them.

Baudelaire opened his publication with a note to the reader, but he made it a full poem entitled "To the Reader." I liked the ending stanza so much I used a version of it to title my blog, and eventually my current masterlist: (Boredom! Moist-eyed, he dreams, while pulling on//a hookah pipe, of guillotine-cleft necks.//You, reader, know this tender freak of freaks-//hypocrite reader-mirror-man-mytwin!)

Likewise the title of this post is also taken from part of a poem, "Hymn to Beauty" (Beauty, you simple, vile monstrosity,//I cannot care about your origin,//provided that your gaze, smile, feet show me//a sweet infinity I have never known.) I think that fits Rook's ideals rather well, don't you?

[accirax]

New Evidence Regarding DRDT's Chapter 2 Killer?

Hello again, everybody! As I continue on my journey of rewatching DRDT via stream, I continue to pick up on more and different things than I noticed the first time. The subject of this theory post is the letter, signed by Eden (even if it wasn't necessarily written by her), that she, Rose, and Whit put together before the second Class Trial began-- I want to take another look at it.

(CW for Despair Time spoilers through 2-10 and mentions of suicide as described in Arturo's secret)

This note is a highly important piece of evidence, and I would expect that anyone invested in trying to solve the case is pretty familiar with its contents. However, I want to highlight exactly what the killer had to know in order to put this note together.

There is someone in the cast who has a motive secret that someone was "responsible for the death of [his/her] sister."

Eden was the recipient of this person's secret.

Eden didn't mean to tell this person, but it slipped out.

This person threatened to do something to Eden.

Arei promised to be Eden's friend.

Like I said, shouldn't be too much of a shock to any of you. However, what I really want to draw attention to is the first bullet point: someone is responsible for the death of his or her sister.

Why am I drawing attention to it? Because the last time Eden or Arturo says anything even close to a family member dying is here... (11:31)

...before Arei arrives. (12:44)

(The last time anyone actually says "sister" is Eden at 11:13.)

But, why is the time of Arei's arrival such an important distinction?

The thing is, most killer theories I've seen for anyone other than Eden or Arturo account for the killer being able to write this note by listening in to the conversation through the door. What I'm trying to say is that there's a contradiction there that I, at least, didn't notice until just now:

If the killer, listening in through the door had to know that the secret Eden received was about Arturo being responsible for the death of his sister, they had to be listening in before Arei arrived, because that is the only time in which Arturo's secret is discussed in enough detail to mention a family member dying. However, when Arei arrived, she had to walk right past and through the door.

This is what the door to the outside of the Infirmary looks like. There is no way in hell that Arei wouldn't have been able to see anyone who was walking by or listening in while she was doing the exact same.

So, what would this mean? Well, it would mean that only Arturo, Eden, and possibly Arei (depending on when she got into earshot of the door) knew enough about Arturo's motive secret before the murder to include all of those details in the note.

Or, at least, that's the boldest version of the claim. However, there are some counterarguments.

The first is that other people could have known if Arturo, Eden, or possibly Arei told somebody else about what happened and mentioned the detail about Arturo's secret. However, I don't believe that any of the three of them would have done that.

Arturo very clearly did not want his secret to get out, and seemingly didn't even want to believe that the death was his fault in the first place. Threatening Eden and making an enemy of Arei also make him look really bad. Both factors combined make it very unlikely that Arturo would want to tell anyone that this happened.

Eden also didn't want to tell anyone about what happened because she was afraid of Arturo finding out, as is clear in the Class Trial. Additionally, if she did want to tell someone so that they could help protect her from Arturo, it probably would have just been Arei. Thus, the information wouldn't have spread any farther than just Arei again.

Arei is definitely the iffiest option, but I still find it hard to believe that she would have told anyone about this occurrence. Firstly, it's already debatable whether Arei heard the specifics of Arturo's secret in the first place. Secondly, Arei probably would have had respect for her new friend and not wanted to share this traumatic event and put Eden in danger. I guess it's possible that Arei could have tried to tell someone about what happened to try to rally a larger movement against Arturo, and then that single person turned around and decided to kill Arei (thus leaving no innocent person who would want to bring up that Arei talked to them in the Class Trial). But, that's... a bit of a stretch. Plus, even if Arei did that, why include the specific details of what Arturo's secret was about?

The second option is that the killer could have planted some kind of bug or other listening device into the Infirmary so that they could overhear the conversation from afar. However, given that we have been given literally no advanced warning that a device like this can even be obtained within the set, much less that anyone actually used one in that location, I'm tossing this objection out, too.

And no, I don't think J's remote could have accomplished something like that, either. Not without an actual listening device already in the room.

The final possibility that I've thought of is that someone could have overheard the conversation from somewhere other than the doorway, which holds a lot more weight. Let's take a look at what's around the Infirmary.

Based on the map, I think the only places that are possibly close enough to the door of the Infirmary are the doors of the Cafeteria or Bathroom (Wash Closet; WC). Recall that, given the private nature of the conversation and that Arei is shown pushing the doors open in the CG, the doors were probably closed. Thus, anyone listening in would have needed to hear the conversation from behind at least one set of closed doors.

Let's start by quickly ruling out the Bathroom. I'm operating on the assumption that, if you can hear something going on in the Infirmary from where you are, people in the Infirmary could hear what's going on in that location, too. If people could hear what's going on in the Bathroom all the way from the Infirmary... Well, that's some pretty shitty architectural design, pun intended.

The Cafeteria is a viable location, though. In fact, we've already confirmed that you can overhear a conversation going on in the Cafeteria from the Infirmary.

So, using the same logic I described earlier, if Teruko could hear something in the Cafeteria from the Infirmary, it stands to reason that you could hear something in the Infirmary from the Cafeteria.

However, this argument still has its issues as well. The thing that Teruko (and Xander) overhear in this scene is, funnily enough, Arei arguing with Eden over not being invited to bake with her. It is described in multiple lines as a very loud event.

While I don't deny that a panicked Eden, a shaken Arturo, and an infuriated Arei could have been quite loud, all of those things, once again, happened after the last time that Eden or Arturo said anything about a dead family member. It's impossible to tell for sure given that the prior part of the conversation isn't fully voice acted, but it's implied that everything Eden says about Arturo's secret is in a regular, or possibly even hushed, tone of voice. If someone only started listening in after things got loud, they would not have heard about Arturo's secret in detail.

Additionally, there are the logistics of who would be sitting in the Cafeteria. Given that nobody else has stepped forward and shared that they overheard this conversation as well (even under potential penalty of death), it seems reasonable to assume that no innocent student overheard what happened in the Infirmary. Therefore, conversely, if any student(s) did overhear the conversation, they were probably involved in the murder somehow. I'm sure you could argue some fringe cases, but this is the general rule.

Unfortunately for this argument, though, the majority of scenes in the Cafeteria have many people present in them, whether due to partaking in a meal or a fight. Overall, that makes it unlikely that someone would be in the Cafeteria by themselves or with only one or two other people. That's not always the case, though, so we can't rule out only a few people being in the Cafeteria!

Can we try to further pin down the time period when this confrontation occurs to try to figure out who could or could not have been in the Cafeteria?

Eden tells us that this confrontation happened on "the day Nico tried to kill Ace" and "the day that Arei and [Eden] had a falling out," which, by my notes, is Day 6. Arturo never challenges this notion, and it also lines up with Eden being afraid that someone is following her on the night of Day 6, so I think that this is true. The canonical events that Teruko takes part in during Day 6 are:

Teruko plays with cacti and gets caught by Eden

J and Arturo, Nico and Ace, and Arei and MonoTV fight

Charles' secret is revealed

Eden tries to host a clock decorating event

Arei has her breakdown and David comforts her

Teruko confronts Rose about her secret

Nico threatens to kill Ace

Nico's secret is revealed and Hu and David comfort them

J drags Teruko into a closet to get away from Arturo

Teruko runs into Eden in the Dress Up Room

Ace is nearly murdered and tries to confront Nico afterward

The events highlighted in green are the only ones of the day that none of Arturo, Eden, or Arei are in. Given that all of them were present for the confrontation, it could not have happened simulataneously with any of the other events.

If the confrontation occurred while Teruko discussed Rose's secret with her (and Nico was there), the killer could really be anyone other than Teruko, Rose, or Nico. Anyone who we didn't have eyes on theoretically could have been in the Cafeteria at that time.

If the confrontation took place while Nico was threatening to kill Ace, however, I doubt that anyone would have been able to listen in on the Infirmary conversation over that cacophony. Therefore, for the sake of someone listening in, that option should also be eliminated. If it took place while Hu and David were comforting Nico, things would look bad for Levi and Rose, as they were both still in the Cafeteria after Teruko left. I know what I said about multiple students in the Cafeteria probably all needing to be collaborators in the murder, but if it was Levi and an asleep Rose, perhaps Levi could have gotten away with eavesdropping by himself?

Despite all of that, though, I think that Arturo's relatively calm and normal (for him) demeanor during the closet scene would speak to the notion that he hadn't just heard that Eden knew about his sister's suicide. Therefore, I believe that the confrontation likely occurred between Teruko's two trips to the Dress Up Room, when she "spent the rest of the day in her room resting." That would line up both with Arturo's claim that he was just "in the middle of something with Julia" (Teruko saw them together just beforehand), give Arei more time to cool down and reflect after her big afternoon, and put the time of the confrontation very close to when Eden is worried about someone following her. (Although, it does give Arturo less time to have "been following" her, assuming that comment was about him.)

That would also give pretty much anyone the chance to have been in the Cafeteria, because Teruko wasn't with anyone at that time. However, it may have been during a pretty dinner-y time, which decreases the odds that anyone would have been in the Cafeteria alone or nearly-alone.

If all that wasn't enough, here's one final wrinkle: whoever witnessed all of this happening would have overheard Arturo threatening Eden and decided not to get involved themselves. It's not a total nail in the coffin, given that I would assume most theories in which the killer overheard the conversation require them to have not attempted to help Eden for one reason or another. But, it is something to consider. Personally, I have a particularly hard time believing that J, #1 Arturo Hater, and Levi, adventurer on the quest of being a good person in the same vein as Eden, wouldn't have tried to stop what was going on if they'd heard.

So, in summary, if the person who wrote the note is not Arturo, Eden, Arei, or someone working very closely with them, they have to be someone who was in the Cafeteria probably alone at the time of the confrontation (assuming Eden's words were even loud enough to be overheard from across the hallway through probably closed metal doors), who decided not to step in to save Eden.

What does that mean? Well, I think that it means that it's very likely that Arturo or Eden is the killer, because having all of those dubiously possible clauses happen to fire off all at once seems implausible to me. But, I already thought that Eden was the killer, so it may just be confirmation bias. Otherwise, since we can't pin down the exact time of the confrontation, I don't think it actually helps us to fully eliminate anyone from the running-- other than, arguably, Teruko. I do urge everyone who thinks that someone other than Eden or Arturo is the culprit to consider this data when coming up with their theories, though.

However, I will end this on the note that all of this deductive reasoning is... incredibly nitpicky. At the end of the day, the crew behind DRDT is very small, and I would understand if the exact details of where and when what parts of Arturo's secret were said or what exactly the Infirmary door looked like were things that they didn't take into account when planning out the murder.

I've seen some critics say about recent YouTube indie animation shows that the long hiatuses between episodes give the shows an unfair disadvantage. That's because the long gaps allow fans to scrutinize every detail of the worldbuilding and characterization and find their holes for far longer than a network television show would between episodes. While DRDT is not exactly one of these indie animation pilots, it is a YouTube show created by a small team of independent creators. I can only imagine that they may be facing the same thing with having to take a break mid-trial. If that's the case, and what I've presented here contradicts what actually happened in Chapter 2, know that I don’t hold it against DRDTdev at all, and don’t think you should, either. I would apologize for pointing out this “mistake,” if you can even call something this minor that.

However, I also think that all of this might be possible, perhaps even on a coincidental/subconscious level, because Eden or Arturo is the killer, and DRDTdev didn't think too much about the logistics of how someone else would overhear the conversation. So for now, I'm considering all of this logic as reasonable theorywork.

If you have any rebuttals though, whether about a specific character or the premise in general, I'd love to hear them! Or, if I missed some detail in the story in general that blows this theory to smithereens entirely, I wouldn't love to hear that, but it would probably be good if I did.

Otherwise, thank you for reading, and have a lovely rest of your day! :D

[aliliceswonderland]

The Answer differences - Keys discussion (Part 3)

Read Part 1 Read Part 2

I said I would do it "tomorrow". How many tomorrows has it been? Sorry, hahaha... So we left it after Metis skipped dialogue, when it's time for Aigis to state her (non-)opinion.

The differences here are interesting. Again, Reload!Yukari avoids saying Aigis is running away. I think it's to show her as less confrontational, but I also think it's a little loss, since, actually, Aigis IS running away from her own feelings. And confronting those feelings is an important point in The Answer, in Aigis' arc and in the general themes of Persona. It's what Yukari's position is supposed to represent on a metaphorical level, even if she cannot find the balance necessary not to get stuck in the past.

Then there's the erasure of the promise. It could be a localization thing again, I don't know. It feels weird.

Yukari's jealousy on the subject of the wild card inheritance is also toned down. "Why were you..." in FES suggests "instead of me", which is supported by the competitiveness of the erased dialogue "I'm not going to lose to someone like you". Yukari in Reload doesn't seem to be angry at Aigis inheriting the power by itself, but rather at her not living up to it.

Yukari's new line is both a call for compassion and an offer of it to Aigis. I think this is good, since it shows her pain (albeit not in such a nuanced way as her erased lines way before), and gets rid of female competitiveness for sorority and empathy. She understand that Aigis is also hurting. That she's struggling to face the protagonist's death. Which, as I said before, it's the whole point.

I skipped some FES dialogue here. It doesn't line up one-to-one and it's not that important. If you've read Part 2, you may recall that this happens earlier in FES, more precisely between Yukari calling everyone cowards after fighting Junpei and before the Metis' lines that completely disappeared. You can see how this last Metis line is leading up to that. It's only after that that we hear about Aigis' indecision.

Instead, Reload puts the proposition to fight after Aigis' part, towards the end of the sequence. I think this is a good decision, if you ask me. That way the dialogue ends up with the stakes getting higher, rather than doing that earlier and going back to the debate with Yukari yet again. And she does hear Aigis out before taking the decision to fight too. The next dialogue section is kind of long but I want to make it all together and guess what it hits the image limit again. Thanks, Tumblr. To think I wanted to end this in two parts at one point... A disclaimer of sorts: even if I'm trying to make this in a way that anyone can easily compare the texts, this is just a small part of a DLC I haven't played nor I intend to, even if I'm interested on the changes that were made. I state this because if some dialogue is not in the scene, but it's been moved to another one or to the dungeon dialogue for example, I just don't know, and in the latter case, I'll most likely never know. So maybe that part wasn't really lost and the nuances were kept. These is more like some field notes rather than a coherent text with complete vision over the subject, so... Take that into account when forming your own opinion. Anyway... Til the next time I have the mental energy to do this, I guess.

[sturniololuv08]

PLEASSSSE make a gut wrenching fic about y/n and chris having a massive argument and y/n storms out the house and goes for a walk and something bad happensssssss

I apologize this took so long my week has been crazy! I hope you are happy with this also DISCLAIMER: This is my FIRST EVER request so ILYSM and I appreciate you 😘 Also I don't know how bad you wanted the bad thing to be so I just went from 0 to 100 🤷‍♀️

TW: Blood, Bruising, Fighting, Language, Mention of Death

"Don't play fucking stupid Y/N." Chris glared at you from across the room. His eyes were piercing.

"I'm not playing stupid." You mocked his tone. "You are just reaching." You waved a hand in the air to dismiss his feelings.

"This is the third time you have done this." Chris stepped close to you and knocked your hand down. This wasn't the first time he got slightly physical when angry with you, but you were bold. You never cared. You stood your ground.

"Done what?!" You finally raised your voice to match his.

"I always catch you messaging Matt. You know I don't like it." He wasn't afraid to speak his true feelings on the subject matter.

"He is my friend." You rolled your eyes. You hit it off with both of them on accident. Matt, you met at the gas station and continued to accidentally run into him before you guys just became friends. More from you pressing the situation. You met Chris at the club. He was there celebrating a friend's birthday, and he caught sight of you dancing and hanging out with your friends you dragged out randomly that night. Chris made the first move on you. It was smooth and you were completely taken by him. Everything was fine until one day, you hung out with Chris and his brothers. Nick and, of course, Matt. You were ecstatic that Matt, your best friend, was Chris' brother; Chris, not so much. He was confused at first. Even laughed the situation off. That was until he realized every time you canceled on him to hang out with your best friend in the past, you meant his brother. It clicked in his brain, and a switch flipped. Chris was no longer the goofball from the club that managed to sway you into giving him your number. He was controlling, possessive, and needy. He needed all of your time. All of your attention. At times, it was hot, but at times like this, right here, right now, it was overplayed and annoying.

"He is my brother. You are supposed to be my girlfriend Y/N!" He stepped closer to you, pressing his chest to yours.

"I am! I stopped hanging out with him one-on-one because you didn't like that. Now this?" You rubbed your temples to physically show your frustration.

"I don't want you talking to him." He started to sound needy, and for a moment, you debated giving him his way. "Matt would understand, right?" You asked yourself.

"No, Chris. You are overreacting like every other time. I can't do this anymore." You took a step backward, but Chris caught your waist and held you tight.

"Can't do what? Are you breaking up with me?" His demeanor shifted to become darker, almost sadistic. His eyes swirled sapphire, and his almost black curls cast over his eyebrows. He pulled you into him as you began to struggle. You needed space, emotionally and now physically.

"I don't know." You mumbled, trying to break out of his bruising grip. "I'm tired of this, Chris." You stopped struggling and looked up at him.

"Tired of this?" He smashed his lips to yours. He usually was passionate and fiery but this was sloppy and dull. It felt forced. You pushed on his chest until his grip lessened on you.

"Stop. I need some time to think." You broke free all the way and started walking towards the door.

"Gonna leave me for Matt, go ahead." Chris was playing the pity card. "Everyone likes him more anyway." He started sounding pouty.

"I'm leaving so I can think. You should do the same." You opened the front door. Just as your foot stepped out Chris' emotions got the better of him again.

"Fuck you Y/N! All this because you can't just fucking hear me out. Fuck you." You should have just kept walking, but you were too strong-willed to let anyone talk to you that way.

"Fuck me? No, Fuck you, Chris! You are so fucking insecure. Grow the fuck up before you try and date someone." After fighting for your self-respect, you felt satisfied, so you started walking down the driveway. 

Cars were zipping and zooming past you as you walked down the main road. No one stopped to see if you were okay which was fine with you because you weren't sure you could handle being asked that question. After a few minutes of walking, the anger wore off, leaving you with the stress, anxiety, fear, and sadness hitting you all at once, and the tears started flowing out. You were glad he couldn't see you crying. You didn't want him to know the hold he had on you. The boy that picks fights with you isn't the man you met in the club months ago. You loved him. Your eyes were so full of tears that it was getting harder and harder to see, so you stopped walking. You stood in the cold night air with your face in your hands letting them pool the tears together. Your sobs were soft. You started to hear a loud noise and you slowly looked up.

Chris was sitting at the kitchen table waiting for you. He wanted to apologize. He was being fucking stupid, and you were the only one strong-willed enough to call him out on it. He wanted to try and explain his insecurities with Matt. Maybe then you would understand, or you two could come together and compromise. He wanted to try. For you. The door slowly opened.

"Y/N?" He shot to his feet. All his nerves gave him the jolt he needed.

"No?" Matt shook his head.

"Oh."

"Why would Y/N come over at -" He paused to look at his phone, " at 4 in the morning?" He finished.

"It's fucking 4 A.M?" Chris' expression immediately changed.

"Yeah?" Matt was out of the loop. Chris started pacing the kitchen floor. "What is going on?" Matt questioned.

"Y/N and I got into it, and she -" He stopped.

"What happened with Y/N?" Matt was showing concern for his best friend.

 "She walked out." Chris put both his hands in his ruffled curls and squeezed lightly.

"What time was this?" Matt was mirroring Chris' panic.

"It was like -"

"When Chris?" Matt pressed.

"I'm thinking!" Chris was flustered. "It was around midnight." He pieced the puzzle together.

"She has been gone for four hours, and you just haven't done anything?" Matt was tired when he got home but all of that turned into anxiety pumping his blood through his veins.

"I wanted to give her her space, you know. I didn't realize it had been four hours," Chris defended himself.

"I'm going to go look for her." Matt snatched the keys off the counter he just set them on.

"I'm coming with you." Chris looked at Matt pleadingly. Matt sighed. He knew Chris's jealousy was a constant rift in his relationship with Y/N, but he also knew he couldn't deny him the redemption of finding you. The car ride started silent until Matt wanted to prove a point.

 "What were you fighting about?" He pried.

"Nothing. It was stupid." Chris mumbled looking out the window.

"Me?" Matt challenged Chris to tell the truth. Chris clenched his jaw and balled his fists.

"I just want to find Y/N, okay?"

"We are just friends. You are my brother. I would never -" Matt stopped cold.

"Pull over. Matt! Pull over."

"I am." Matt hadn't fully stopped the car before Chris opened the door and flung himself out. The red and blue lights cast a flashing glow on their faces. With every step Chris took towards the scene, he felt his heart slowing down. "Chris!" Matt called out a few steps behind him. Chris had tunnel vision.

"Sir, you can't go over there," a paramedic pressed against his chest. Matt caught up to them and held Chris' shoulders. "Sir! You are not allowed back there." Chris looked all over, trying to see what was going on.

"What happened?" Matt asked more reasonably.

"Hit and run. This is a crime scene, please go back to your car." They shoved Chris slightly. 

"Crime scene?" Matt asked.

"Murder. Now back up." They held up their hands, frustrated that the two boys weren't listening. Just as Matt convinced Chris to go back to the car, a stretcher emerged from the ditch on the side of the road.

"Fuck." Matt whispered.

"Y/N!!" Chris' yell bellowed out and caught everyone's attention. He shoved past everyone, trying to hold him back until he was right by the stretcher. Matt didn't even try to hold him back he stood frozen in his place. Chris examined all the cuts and bruises on your face. "I'm here. I'm right here." He grabbed your cold, dead-weight hand. "Y/N, please." He begged again. "I'm sorry." He choked on his sobs. His tears dripped off of his chin and landed on your arm. He stopped moving and watched as your body was swiftly pulled away from him. All he wanted to do was apologize.

[kiryoutann]

Before reading, please check series masterlist to read the warning(s), disclaimer, and to make sure you’re on the right chapter. Minors do NOT interact.

I appreciate the likes, replies, and reblogs! Thank you so much. If you like what I do, you can consider donating to my Kofi. Once again, thanks so much!

Amidst the noisy conference room due to the nobles arguing, Childe sat silently letting them debate each other. The subjects they talked about were important, but his thoughts were too heavy for him to follow. Not rarely, one of the lords asked about his thoughts on the subject and received no response.

His brain is somewhere else.

Even though he hadn't shed a tear at the day of death and also the funeral, it was hard for him to go even a second without thinking about what had happened to his father. Emptiness came with many questions that he couldn't fathom.

As if they could read his mind, the topic shifted to the King's death.

“What about the late King's death investigation? Are there any findings yet?” one of the nobles asked, starting a new conversation.

Dmitri, who during the conference acted as Childe's spokesperson, had chosen to remain silent, shaking his head in shame. "Not yet, Your Excellency." He gave an answer.

The whole room expressed their disappointment. Various words that were too soft and fast added an atmosphere that made anyone who felt it impatient. The nobles of Snezhnaya are frustrated and confused.

"Why haven't there been any findings yet? This is important! We must find out who dared to threaten Snezhnaya's land and kill the late king!"

"That's right!"

"Gentlemen, please maintain your composure."

The person's voice miraculously silenced them, leaving only the echoes of the conversation earlier before attention shifted to the man who rose from his seat. Aside from his recognizable handsome face, Duke Maxim emphasized his existence with the determined look he threw at their prince.

Rumors had long been circulating about him being one of the people who were with the late king before the incident occurred, automatically making him the one who witnessed the king's death in person. The nobles wondered if he was here to say anything about it.

“Your Highness, Prince Childe. If I am permitted to testify, I will tell the truth about what occurred that day."

Despite the fact that he mentioned something unexpected again, none of the nobles dared to interrupt him. The ginger-haired man was the center of attention as everyone awaited his approval for Maxim to speak.

There was a pause before Childe said, "Speak."

Now that he has received his permission, and he then began to speak, "On that tragic day, I and His Majesty were sipping tea with Prince Shiva of Liyue and Her Highness Princess (Y/N)."

From the mention of your name, his fingers stiffen.

"Everything seemed fine at first." Maxim took a deep breath, giving a tense pause to those listening. “Everything seemedfine.. until His Majesty took a sip of his tea and suddenly coughed up blood before falling to the floor convulsing.”

Some of the nobles started whispering under their breath. Childe remained frozen in his seat.

"For something so terrible to happen when His Majesty met the Prince... it needs to be looked at more thoroughly."

Childe had already deduced what Maxim was attempting to tell him from his sentence. However, something in his heart was reluctant to believe it so he had the urge to ask and confirm it again.

"What are you implying?" He said, cold and dangerous.

“The possible mastermind behind all this,”—Maxim made sure he looked him in the eyes—“is Prince Shiva.”

Instantly, the room erupted in disbelief. The nobles whispered, some agreed with his assumptions, while the rest were still in doubt. As if the bomb he dropped wasn't enough to blow up the atmosphere, Maxim opened his mouth again.

"And that doesn't rule out the possibility that Princess (Y/N) is involved in it."

Blue eyes shot open. Childe was beside himself in a split second, filled with rage and confusion.

That's impossible.. right?

Childe had no idea where to direct his rage. As for Shiva, he was pretty sure he was the one capable of such dirty ways. But you? He couldn’t imagine you getting into this. However, what if it turns out that he doesn't know you very well and that you truly assisted your older brother in his vile act? Without realizing it, Childe began to be eaten up by doubts which were then followed by feelings of betrayal even though the facts had not been confirmed.

“Duke, are you certain about this?” one of the nobles asked.

"Of course! And I'm not stating this without proof." Maxim took something out of his pocket and put it on the teak table. "On that day, I asked a researcher to examine the tea's composition, and the results showed that a toxic flower called Silence was present,"

A white petalled blossom on a handkerchief completely captured the attention of the entire table.

Maxim glanced at Childe, "Uniquely, this flower only grows in Liyue."

Liyue.

Fingernails dug into palms from how tightly Childe clenched his fists. Molar teeth rubbed against each other from his efforts to hold back the anger that had reached its peak.

Why is this happening?

Not only had he lost his father, now Childe had to accept that there was a possibility that this was all the doing of the Prince of Liyue. When he was ready to give up all his ambitions about destroying it—just for your sake—he was faced with a dilemma in choosing between avenging his father and burying this, as his parents had done with Anton's death.

“If what Duke Maxim said is true, Your Highness, you must quickly take action to imprison Prince Shiva!”

"Are you mad?! Without solid proof, it will only cause diplomatic problems. You must remember that the Emperor will not remain silent!”

One lashed back, splitting the group into two. The sound of chairs being pushed back was heard as the nobles stood up from their seats. The atmosphere became uncontrollably chaotic, as if these people had forgotten that the Crown Prince was still sitting among them.

“What more proof are you waiting for?! That is evident! Liyue has once again waged war on us!” One response followed another.

"In that case, His Highness should also take action on Princess (Y/N)—"

A fist slammed onto the table. The chatter died down as the nobles' attention was drawn to Childe, who stood with pale knuckles. He raised his head, revealing a deadly brilliant blue, his glare as if to warn that anyone who dared to open their mouths one more time would die.

"Talk like that again and I'll line up all of your heads on this table."

Everyone in the room knew that wasn't an empty threat. Even though there was no sword at his side, they knew Childe was more than capable of figuring out how to do that. They resumed their seats in a civilized manner as if the ruckus had never happened. However, in a situation that was conducive again, Childe could no longer see a purpose in it when his mind was so chaotic.

Dmitri watched the man rise from his chair to leave the conference room.

How ironic.

The hallway he took to go to his room resounded with the sound of his shoes hitting the floor. Childe took wide and fast steps, he never stopped to catch his breath. So why didn't the heaviness in his shoulders go away? He felt as though the entire weight of the planet was being placed on his feet.

Childe was about ready to give up everything. He has made many decisions based on his half brain with love. Why did something like this have to happen?

The door to his room was slammed by him after he entered. Childe couldn't decide whether the emptiness or the rage that was suddenly consuming him was worse. Where should he throw this strong emotion? Who should he be angry with? He got the impression that the world tended to intervene in his life just when he was about to experience bliss.

His thoughts were interrupted by the door opening violently. The blue eyes widened as they landed on your figure. Your chest rose and fell as you ran here. Yet instead of the usual joy, your arrival this time sparked confusion and doubt.

Before Childe asked anything, you had called his name.

“Ajax!”

For the first time, he felt conflicted from seeing you.

Meanwhile, you scan his face and notice how tired he looks. It must be because of the series of emergency meetings held by the nobles who insisted on discussing the succession as soon as possible. You hesitated to say it until the memory of your vision hit you in the head.

“(Y/N)—“

"Don't go to the conference tomorrow."

It was said so suddenly, you know. However, this is all you do for him, only for him.

“..Why?” Childe asked, softly but not timidly.

That gaze didn't leave you as you took a deep breath before saying: “There is someone planning to kill you.”

Instead of furrowing his brows, his blue eyes widened as if he had expected this to happen. Doubt grew thicker in his mind. The chattering of the nobles from the conference earlier buzzed around saying that maybe they were right about you and Shiva.

But, if that was right, wouldn't it be suicide to tell him this?

Childe never realized what an enigma you were until now. Behind that pretty face, what are you hiding? Where are you standing? Is this a ruse to keep him distracted and unprepared for what comes next? Or maybe you really are telling the truth?

“.. What?”

"That's right!" You try to push away the doubts. “They've had poison ready for you. So, please don't go!”

Childe felt his heartbeat quicken. "Who are they'?"

The silence felt strange. Anxiety anchored in his heart from no answer from you. He didn't miss how you bit your trembling lips. Childe clenched his fists at his sides.

Why are you hesitating?

If you are really the mastermind behind all this, can Childe take an oath to destroy the land of Liyue—which, ironically, is your birthplace? And if one day his heart has that urge, the sweet memory he shared with you.. will it burn with it in the end?

You replay your memory of your vision and are back at a dead end when you find the faces are still as blurry as before. Frustration floods over you, and despair has never been so intense.

"I... I don't know." Is the answer you can give him.

However, all that did was add to the chains holding his mind back from thinking clearly. Childe is in tunnel vision. Your answer he concluded as you were protecting someone—Shiva.

A scoff escaped his lips. "You don’t know?" There was anger inside of him and it got stronger in seconds.

"Then, how did you know about this plan, (Y/N)?"

Childe's last question made you freeze.

This is the end of the big secret you've been keeping hidden. You just didn't think you'd reveal it for his sake. How ironic, didn't you vowed that you'd use it to bring him to his doom? In comparison to now, your despair is caused by his hesitation to trust you. Is it possible that humans were created with a short lifetime to make decisions and then watch themselves turn away from them in the blink of an eye?

There is no turning back now. It's pointless to turn back. Out of fear you might have second thoughts, you don't take a breath before saying it.

"I can see the future."

In this moment, time itself felt endless. You watched the expression on his face change, swept away by something—no, it wasn't shock—Childe stared at you in such obvious disbelief that you were sure he had thought you were crazy and delusional.

“What?”

From his intonation, your throat tightens. "I know this is hard to believe." What else can you tell him to convince him to believe you? “But, you have to believe me!”

"You think this is the right time to joke around—"

"No!" You yelled. “I'm serious! I can actually see the future!”

Please,

Please, believe me!

A mocking scoff came out of him, though that didn't dampen the anger that was building up inside him. “You think that crazy talk will be enough to cover up your brother's abominations—!”

“I know your agreement with Duke Maxim!”

Your interruption froze his tongue. Now those blue eyes widened under furrowed brows. He was completely speechless, he had nothing else to do but show the shock on his face.

You swallow. "I know you initially planned to use his weaponry in your attack on Liyue after you ascended to the throne." You continued and Childe felt a chill run down his spine. "However, due to the incident that day at the tea party, you decided to terminate all of that."

Just when he thought that was the most shocking thing you could say, you opened your mouth again to tell him something else.

"The day I was poisoned at my own tea party, I had a vision of someone poisoning Lumine's tea."

Childe's chest ached. "Don't tell me you—“

"That's correct," you cut in, hands clenched at your sides, praying for the strength to utter what comes next. "I switched her tea for mine and drank it."

Anger mixed through his veins and flowed through his blood throughout his body. Childe was in flames. His shoulders had never been so heavy, and he was trembling. He is unsure of which is worse—that you did something so crazy, or that you spoke so casually about your confession, as if you had no concerns about yourself.

"Why?" His voice started in a whisper which then escalated into a yell. “Why?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”

“Because I know you love her!!”

Was that fact so heartbreaking that you cried after finishing it? Tears fell on the floor. If one collects it in a bottle, it's possible to be able to sink the world with you. Something from your sentence consumes you, eats you alive yet, yet you collected all of your willpower to continue standing in front of him.

A breath you take. "I know you love her so much that I'm afraid it will add to your grudge if something happens to her." You almost whispered, afraid that any louder than that would make your pain more obvious.

The intensity of emotions that once fluctuated like waves returned. Childe felt his head throbbing in pain. However, all of that was eclipsed by a burning sensation in his chest. His heart was filled with guilt and shame, the remainder taken over by doubt—which despite hearing it all—made it hard to believe that you could actually see the future.

“I also know that you intended to kill me from the start.”

Instantly, his airway was blocked by a lump in the back of his throat. Pain coursed through his body along with his limp bones. His tongue had never been this bitter. Those eyes looked as if they were dipped in pain.

Hearing you talk about it in that way makes him wonder if you're really talking about him. Childe realized he had grown too far when he found his former self so foreign. How the world has changed; now, the only thing he wants in the whole world is to keep you safe.

".. Why are you telling me this?" He spoke softly before loudly, "You know I was going to kill you, then why are you telling me all this?!"

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!”

Because I love you.. because I love you..

It repeated over and over in his mind from the fear it would evaporate away with the changing of the seasons. Jaws gaping open. It was what he had wanted for the longest time—to hear those three words leave your lips and aim at him.

However, with his heart filled with negativity, he couldn't accept anything even if it was to heal him.

You took a new breath in between your sobs. "Because I love you," Your voice is hoarse, breathy full of emotions.

With this love confession, you're letting him know that it's him that you want. It is his hand that you want to cup and place against your cheek. It is his lips that you want to feel on top of yours. But, for now, Childe should know you're saying this because the only thing you want most in this world is his safety.

"So please.. please.." You whispered after a moment. "The only thing I want of you is to keep yourself safe.”

But what good is a love confession if the listener is deafened by endless emotional turmoil? Childe was still silent, biting the inside of his cheek as he tried to keep his hands from taking you into his arms. For now, he is nothing more than a disarranged soul incapable of giving a warm embrace while whispering honeyed words.

So he stepped past you. The silence was filled with the sound of the door opening before closing again. He has left you.

And so, you cry until you choke on your own tears. Your knees gave way, sending you plunging into the cold now that he had left. It hurts, it hurts so much. The weight pressing against your chest feels so heavy that you are suffocating. Despite that, the love you have for him remains in your heart, reminding you that it has nowhere to go.

AbbyBianx, ness

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[musekicker]

Ghost talks to Antauri about his death for the first time.

"So... you're Antauri's sister." Chiro said.

Ghost looked as if she felt just as unsure about this conversation as Chiro did. Understandable. Both of them were new beings to each other. With new knowledge of how things were and had been.

"And you're Chiro. The new leader." Ghost said.

Chiro rubbed the back of his head, thinking about that.

"Yeah... you say new, though it's not new to me. This...  has got to be weird for you." Chiro said.

Ghost nodded.

"You have to have a lot of questions." Chiro said.

"Tons."

So for awhile there were questions. Some of them were easy to answer. Some not so much. And in some moment during these questions, two things happened at the same time that turned out to be unfortunate. Antauri had just entered the room. And then Chiro spoke of a subject he was unaware Ghost did not know about.

"Well, he's been like that since he died-" Chiro said.

"Antauri WHAT!?" Ghost cried.

Antauri flinched as Ghost looked at him so fast he swore her neck was going to break. 

"I hadn't told her yet." Antauri said.

"Oh." Chiro said.

Ghost was still staring wide eyed at her brother. Antauri couldn't help the guilt feeling. His guts would be roiling with the guilt if he still had guts.

"Chiro... if you could give us a moment." Ghost said.

The icy tone must had scared Chiro a little because he did find himself stepping back. Though he stopped to look at Antauri. Antauri nodded, signaling that Chiro should indeed leave him and Ghost to talk.

"I was going to tell you." Antauri said the moment Chiro left the room.

"When!?" Ghost snapped. "Because it's a pretty important piece of information!"

"I did not tell you yet because I was trying to find the best time and way to tell you about what happened." Antauri said.

"I've been back for two days!" Ghost cried.

"There was so much to catch up on both ends. I did not want to stand there and say "By the way, I died, part of it being murdered by a clone of my ex." while-" Antauri.

"A clone of WHO?" Ghost cried.

Antauri knew that was going to be a whole story to get into later. One bombshell of information at a time.

"This is why you're different then?" Ghost asked.

"You waited until now to ask about that? You've been back two days-" Antauri said.

A flash of anger in her eyes.

"Do NOT turn my words back on me. The point is.. well it's.. just that-"

That anger melted away quickly. So much faster then he had ever seen anger leave her before. It morphed into a whole different emotion that hurt Antauri to see in his sister. Despair.

"I wasn't there for you..." Ghost said, voice tight.

Antauri had feared that Ghost would feel this way about this. The reason why he had held back on explaining. But now this knowledge and this fear were out in the open. It had to be addressed.

"To begin with, that wasn't your fault. You were trapped in a whole different dimension. In which time ran differently for you then it did for us." Antauri said.

Ghost opened her mouth. To further debate no doubt. But Antauri held u his hand, not done talking just yet.

"And I honestly think even if you had been here when it happened, things would had played out as they did still." Antauri said. "It was no ones fault. Things happened as they were to happen."

Ghost shook her head.

"You know I don't really take to that kind of stuff about fate." Ghost said.

Antauri nodded.

"I know this. And though I do, if there is anyone in this universe that could defy fate and probably throw it the middle finger, it be you."

Ghost smirked just a bit at that.

"Yeah. That's me. I'll punch fate in the face somehow too if I had to." Ghost said.

"You would... but seriously, please, don't blame yourself for my death." Antauri said.

Antauri paused.

"And besides, as that one movie I remember you liked to watch, I got better." Antauri said.

Ghost stared at her brother a long moment before laughing.

"Jackass." she said with a laugh in her voice. 

Their talk did not quite end there. There were more questions. Such as how he had came back. And how it had felt to die. There were more long silences on both ends and some tears on Ghost's end. Eventually though the subject had to be dropped for the moment. It was getting too heavy to keep talking about.

"Antauri?" Ghost said.

"Yes?" Antauri said.

"Die again and I'll kill you." Ghost said.

Antauri smiled.

"I will keep that firmly in mind." he said.

[sureinsunlight]

I’m gonna mead you to do the entire OC meme (or just the ones you wanna) for

Saudade, Cassie, and All My Dust Fed Men

*cracks knuckles*

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

Saudade can't stand being alone. If no one's around to talk to him, his hands will grab him up in a big cocoon and hold her so so so so tight. Unfortunately, she was alone for a very long time post-exile, so. Yeah that didn't go well.

Cassie actually likes the quiet! Technically she's not by herself, much, since her god is often close on her heels, but it's also not really a person and more of a very powerful and worship-eating houseplant so she'd call it 'alone'. It's always a good time to reflect on things, she's a thoughtful person.

Dusty, too, likes solitude, although he'd much prefer to be around Ren, the object of his obsession. When alone, though, he often withdraws from whatever system he's puppetting and sleeps in his casket. Often, and here's a little treat-- he hums. Likes making up silly songs.

betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?

Saudade's exile and punishment by Queen Maebe was, I'd say, a betrayal. He thought hers was a court of wonder and play, and what is generosity but wondrous? How could he be called a thief and king-pretender, just for sharing what there was so much of?

Cassie's never felt personal betrayal, no, but she feels a sort of collective, existential treachery on behalf of all mortalkind at the hands of the gods. Despite professing that divinity has no true sapience, she cannot quite let go of some personal venom.

Dusty was once betrayed. Or... will be? Either way, it was/will be all made right and of no consequence. He wasn't/won't have been in his right mind, after all.

bound: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars?

Saudade, for one of his crimes, was cast out of her body and into the nothing of Shadowfell for a long, long time outside of time. His friends and subjects brought him back, but the memory aches constant.

Cassie's come from a relative position of power in her society, and so has never felt punishment of a punitive sort beyond a sort of brief diplomatic detainment. Wasn't a problem at all.

Dusty, as an NHP, might very well be said to be an always-prisoner. This is heavily up for debate, of course.

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

Somehow, with everything that's happened to Saudade, I can't really say she's ever hit her absolute lowest. It'd be interesting to see what that looks like, huh?

Cassie would need something to happen that truly, deeply, shook her beliefs to their core. This isn't something I can easily imagine, given how absolutely zealous she is, but I imagine it could happen were she to find herself emulating godhood a little too closely.

Dusty's broken down before, and it was a long, slow process. Ren was there for a front-row seat the whole time. I think Dusty was born breaking.

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

Saudade just wants companionship. She wants to not feel alone.

Cassie wants to see the heavens overturned and the hells made empty. She wishes to spear down the demiurge and make all the world open to mortalkind, that they may not be preyed on by the divine.

Dusty wants to see an apotheosis, to be a part of shifting the veil between life and death. At first, this was going to be something grand, and he was ready to tear it all down to get it-- but now, I think, he's okay with simply seeing it in Ren.

failure: What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it?

Saudade failed when he believed the words of his queen, and forsaked his good deed for even a moment. He still fails to understand that she was wrong.

Cassie is a mockery of her own faith, sometimes, and a butcher at best. She says she's proud of it, but sometimes she wishes true radical freedom made her hands drip a little less.

Dusty does not dwell on mistakes. All that will be will be.

fear: What is your OC's greatest fear? What do they do when confronted with it? Are they open with their fear, or do they hide it away?

The thought of being alone again, really alone, is a constant, terrifying specter in Saudade's mind.

Cassie is afraid of being undone and failing in her task-- or becoming as a god herself. To her such a thing would be ego-death and mortification of a deep sort.

Dusty's greatest fear, I think, is seeing the world unchanged. Carrying on with its endless minutae of nothing.

(going to skip "future" as it's more or less the same as "fear" in this case)

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

Saudade, I think, often wonders about the Fomorian he met out there in the woods of his court. Wonders if they made it away alright, or if her kindness doomed them.

Cassie, wouldn't you know, sometimes has nightmares about sainting the man that now houses her god. She did a good job of it, but she's aware of the cost. It's part of how she stays moral, in her eyes.

Dusty's always going to wonder, I think, about what could have been if he hadn't been/won't be betrayed and stopped-- but it's more of a game of curiosity, something to bat about when his mind starts to fracture and drift. Serves as a good benchmark for cycling, too.

guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

Aside from the crime she thinks she committed, I think Saudade probably hurt someone in her early days in the prime material. She was hungry and needed supplies, and hadn't quite figured out how to control her friends. She keeps the guilt close to his heart.

Cassie, as said in the last question, forces herself to reckon with the gruesome business that is saint-making. It's glorious, and those who give themselves for it ought to be lionized, but still. Can't forget the cost.

Dusty has no understanding, I think, of guilt. He made Ren sad once. Maybe that's got something like regret attached.

hate: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred?

Saudade would never admit it, but if he could go back to Nap-o-Noon, and if he could sic his many, many friends upon the fair-sunn'd queen...

Cassie hates the gods for existing, for condemning creation to suffer their whims. Her life is dedicated to erasing them, in what she sees as radical liberation of the metaphysical.

Dusty hates boredom. That's really all there is to it. A lot of things are boring, so he does as he can.

heartbreak: Have they ever had a relationship that ended badly? Experienced some other kind of heartbreak? What happened?

Saudade has never felt heartbreak, mostly because she's a bit of a complete beginner at those sorts of things anyways! Mortals are so strange with their courtships...

Cassie having had some like. teen-angst style breakups is incredibly funny to me so I'm saying that's canon.

Dusty doesn't do much of 'love' either, tbh! He's got an obsession, and that one smashes right past love and goes to somewhere deeply devoted and borderline unhealthy, but there needs to be a new word coined for whatever that feeling is.

hide: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it?

Saudade hides so he can be left alone.

Cassie hides until the time is right.

Dusty hides because he does not want his one treasure taken. His one treasure is enough.

hunt: Who or what is your OC hunted by? A person, a feeling, a past mistake? Is your OC able to let their guard down, or are they constantly alert?

Saudade has the court of Nap-o-Noon on her heels, who seeks to hunt him like foxen quarry for their queen.

Cassie is typically the hunter, not the hunted, but sometimes she's chased away and forced to lay low by faithful who heard her divine-antagonistic preaching.

Dusty is an unregistered NHP and therefore an ontological fugitive of Union! Dw no one will ever find him now.

mask: Does your OC wear a mask, literally or figuratively? What goes on beneath it? Is there anyone in their life who gets to see who they are under the mask?

Saudade couldn't hide his feelings if she had the world's largest haystack I'm so so sorry.

Cassie, though, she wears a pretty little mask (sometimes literally) as the wandering saint-maker, all grandiose and know-me-and-rejoice. She mostly believes it, too!

Dusty does not hide besides physically. Tuckin' away in some good good flesh. It's wonderful. cosy adn squishy.

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

Saudade fears being caught and losing what he has now-- that and the ptsd nightmares do it pretty intensely.

Cassie has back problems, but that's about it. I'm being so real about this one.

Dusty never sleeps, but often is preoccupied with musings of a strange nature, especially in the little hours. He tends to treat Ren like a stuffie about it.

mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?

Saudade: Getting caught.

Cassie: Doubting herself.

Dusty: Making his cerberus fear him.

monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?

Saudade's more of a quietly fucked up little creechur, but he very much thtinks himself a monster. The hands reaching out from behind unseen spaces in things around him definitely add to the effect, though.

Cassie would say her god is the most monstrous thing about or around her, she on the other hand is perfect. Imagine sparkles showering everywhere when I say that.

Dusty is quite monstrous, a mass of eyes and flesh and half-formed things. Real big gore hours. He's a big fan of it though, personally.

nightmare: What does your OC have nightmares about? How do they deal with their nightmares? Do they tell people, or keep it to themself?

Saudade has nightmares a lot when he sleeps. Tends to talk about them to his wonderful new consort, Edel, when they're there, and his friends if they aren't.

Cassie sometimes has the sort of nightmares that aren't scary on their own merit, but nonetheless carry that awful aura of dread with them that she has trouble shaking for an hour or two after waking up.

Dusty's musings are the sort of things that would be stuff of nightmares to most, but he finds a beauty to them. Sometimes he'll murmur them in Ren's ear, to share the curiosity.

pain: What's the worst pain your OC has ever felt? Do they have a high pain tolerance?

Saudade has a lower pain tolerance than it appears, but that's mostly because he's so sensory-seeking that even pain, to her, is worth tanking through.

Cassie's not used to taking damage herself so she's a bit of a wimp. Frankly, can't at all take is like she can dish it.

Dusty's a hardy thing, and his mind-- being only shackled into a human-esque shape-- interpellates pain as more of a... hm. It's like a lesson; a fable unfolding before him.

secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

Saudade is sure that, deep inside, he's got some of that Shadowfell ugly stuck inside her, and she'll never be ready with it.

Cassie is glad no god heeds her prayers, for she whispers her doubts more nights than she wishes she did, rare as they might run.

Dusty is an open book, but there are secrets of the nature of his existence even he doesn't quite know yet. He's keen to search for their unveiling.

skin: How comfortable is your OC in their skin? Do they grapple with anything that lives inside them—a beast, a curse, a failure, a monster? How do they face the smallest, weakest, most horrible version of themself? Are they able to acknowledge it at all?

Saudade: Depends on how much of that skin is touching someone. Directly proportional, in fact.

Cassie: Quite, thank you.

Dusty: Feels most comfortable in Ren's skin, if he's being honest (and he is).

torture: Has your OC ever been tortured? Would your OC ever torture someone else?

Saudade's confinement in nothingness was fairly torturous, I'd say-- and besides, there were a fey hunter or two that wanted his one large, gemlike eye. Didn't end well for them, but wasn't fun for Saudade either.

Cassie's job is technically torture from a certain, largely correct, perspective. Saint-making is not a painless thing for any party involved.

Dusty cares for things more final than torture, personally, but his methods in the past have sometimes been a little too slow to be anything else. The experience of cascade is more rapturous than torturous to him.

wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?

Saudade handles wounds like a shot dog-- retreating away to nurse his wounds. He also tends to keep fussing with them because the ache distracts him from the Horrors a bit. The mind holds much more tendency to harm than the body, for her.

Cassie just complains, very loudly, when struck. Her worst wounds are by far those of the flesh.

Dusty takes wound in the same stride as one takes frustration-- it only spurs him onward. Unraveling is little more than a dance to him.

[greeneyeslander]

Debate me if you want, I'm all for it, but let's keep it civil.

I think it's really dangerous that we're still normalizing ultra processed foods. I think it's really dangerous that people don't view overconsumption of food as dangerous as other methods of methods of overconsumption. I live in the southern us, my family has been extremely poor my either life, and when we were living with my grandparents (because they couldn't afford the mortgage and my parents couldn't afford rent) that was 9 people to feed, and I can tell you right now it's not cheaper to eat ultra processed foods. It wasn't then and it certainly isn't now.

I don't want to attack people for their weight. That's not what I'm trying to do here at all. I get it's a extremely touchy subject, and with my own ED history and chronic health conditions, my weight has changed rapidly my entire life. This problem is effecting everyone, and to put it bluntly if your staying thin because you're eating 1300 calories of chips or lattes or whatever, you're still hurting yourself and the environment. We all grew up in this food environment and regardless of weight we all need to help ourselves and be healthier. We need to stop exacerbating health issues, and we need to stop letting marketing literally bring us closer to death.

I also do think food and drink can be a therapeutic experience, baking and cooking for others (or yourself), drinking your favorite tea or coffee can all be so healing, but these products aren't that experience. They never actually help and it scares me how many people are in the habit of pretending they do.

[edeschmedie]

Finally finished watching Cromwell (1970) yesterday. Out of all Michael Jayston films (current obsession still going strong!) I have been wanting to watch this the most because the English Civil War is a subject in which I am quite interested. Even then, going in, I prepared myself for historical inaccuracies and departures from my understanding of certain events and personalities because that's just what you do when you watch a historical film.

First thing to note is that the film has many good points. For its time, the film looked marvellous. I love the battle scenes and those scenes set in the House of Commons and the royal court – simply beautiful sets. Charles I's entrance into the Commons is my favourite; his flamboyantly colourful clothes set against a sea of MPs in black, providing a powerful contrast between royal decadence and somber Parliamentary sensibilities.

There's also a lot to admire in the acting. Alec Guinness is exquisite as Charles I and the character was played largely in line with my impressions of the doomed king: a sympathetic personal side (his reunion with his family after the war reportedly even moved Cromwell to tears) but a truly awful and weak ruler who didn't hesitate to drop even his most loyal supporters, as convincingly conveyed in the scene where Charles unfairly dismissed Prince Rupert after the Bristol surrender ("You promised mountains and yet performed molehills!"). Masterful performance.

Other supporting performances were strong too. I thought Dalton's Prince Rupert worked, despite the character being so different (read: less flamboyant) in my mind. Jayston's Ireton and Thomas Fairfax (not familiar with the actor, sorry) are even more different than what I imagined. I wasn't sure how I feel about the characterisation of Ireton and Fairfax. Seeing as I know Ireton primarily for the Heads of Proposals (probably the most famous document of that period, certainly influential in the Putney Debates, so there's really no escaping it) the differences stand out a bit. And no mention at all that he's Cromwell's son-in-law. Weird choice since that could have supported the storyline of Ireton being a strong influence on Cromwell, but on the whole I think that didn't take away from the story.

All this would have made the film an acceptable one save for one very key thing. I really couldn't stand Richard Harris's take on Cromwell. I know many biogs (even the ones that are sympathetic, like Antonia Fraser's Our Chief of Men) make allusion to Cromwell's 'changeable moods' but I don't think what Harris did captured what it means. Cromwell was most likely having nervous breakdowns (melancholia was the term used at the time by his physician) at certain periods of time, usually when he was faced with big decisions to make. What Harris did however was something else.

As I said, I don't mind occasional departures from history especially if they serve the film but here they did not. History aside, Harris made Cromwell changeable in a matter of seconds which backfired spectacularly considering that Cromwell is still one of the most divisive figures in English history. A careful balance must be struck between his nervous personality and his well-documented charisma and charm that helped him win supporters. There was no suggestion of the latter in the film. Even and calm tone of voice one second and suddenly booming rage in the next, shouting at everyone around him, even politicians who were on his side. Hard to see why anyone would see a leader in this unpredictable man sorely lacking in charisma. The personal side was more successfully portrayed –in scenes with his wife and when he received news of his son's death – although not enough to make up for the dismal attempt at capturing Cromwell the politician.

Aside from the lack of charisma, film Cromwell wasn't even portrayed as a visionary. It's like all ideas and plans he had for a better England seemingly originated from or were suggested to him by others around him chiefly Ireton. So, no charisma, no vision. Bad combo especially when stood next to Guinness' Charles I.

As the film is titled 'Cromwell', its success would largely depend on whether the character is convincingly played. I don't think it was. The film would have me believe that Cromwell's authority comes solely from his booming voice, as if sound volume was the only thing that matters in leadership. That's mainly why, despite all the good things that recommend this film and despite my willingness to forgive historical inaccuracy, I couldn't really enjoy it.

[stolligaseptember]

hi! could you please explain why you think vegaspete cannot be murder husbands? i haven't come across any argument either for or against it so I'm curious what is the debate all about? thanks!

lmao oh no, i knew i should have put more thought into this particular tagging system. oh well, too late now.

because, okay, so, that post wasn't really meant to end up in the public tags - it was meant to stay in my own little sphere here on creating chaos. because even if the post itself is pretty straightforward and only has one throw way tag, it still needs Backstory to be understood.

because the "debate" isn't really a debate at all; it's a rant that i occasionally subject my poor followers to.

and the very first thing you need to know about me right from the bat - i'm never that serious. like 75 % of this blog is made up out of bad jokes. i may have opinions, but they are just that; My Opinions. so if you have another point of view and understanding of the subject, hey, more power to you and i love and support you forever and always.

this is my little corner of the internet though, so, with that said, and because i'm assuming you're new around here; welcome to "september's Murder Husbands rant 101".

so. i've seen my fair share of ships trying to claim the murder husbands epithet, and i have yet to see a couple come even close to earning the right to follow in the footsteps of the OG's.

because the SECOND thing you need to know about me is that i'm a Huge hannibal fan, and have been ever since the show first premiered way back in 2013. and hannigram are The Murder Husbands; like, first of all i'm territorial and that's their title and no random twinks just get to waltz in here and try to steal it from them, i won't stand for that.

second of all, they earned the title. like, it's extremely depictive. they are husbands that commit murders together, like, that's what the entire show is about. they are a couple of cold blooded murderers whose favorite couple activity is said murdering. (and then eating them. the eating of their victims is a very important point here.)

so any pairing that even wants to approach that title needs to live up to this standard.

and like i said, while vegaspete are deliciously unhinged and deranged, they just. aren't. that.

they're both killers, obviously, but they're not serial killers in the sense that they kill just to kill. they're both mafia men, and they both kill unflinchingly, but always with reasons leading back to the mafia. vegas happily kidnaps the first stray main family bodyguard he can get his hands on to torture to the brink of death, but he won't touch the random uncle on the street corner who has somehow managed to stay out of the mafia business altogether. pete will fervently gun down any of his fellow main family bodyguards as soon as they pose a threat to someone he cares for, but not a second sooner.

they don't kill indiscriminately, which in my head equals killers instead of murderers, so if anything they would be killer husbands and not murder husbands.

then there's the fact that they never killed together. which all ties back to the fact that they don't kill someone just to kill someone and that it always has a reason behind it. killing probably could be a couple's activity for them, if they found themselves back in the bowels of the mafia world again and they would have a reason to do it. but, their happy ending was not gallivanting around the world committing cold blooded murders together; their happy ending was to retire from the world that had made them killers in the first place. i'm sure they won't hesitate to kill anyone that dares try to disturb their happily ever after, but they won't go out of their way to continue killing people.

hence; no murder husbands.

and it's not so much that they can't be as in the way that we've seen them, they aren't. like, if you want to put them in a hannibal or an equally unhinged au and go hogwild, then go for it!!! i always support all expressions of lunacy. but canon vegaspete?? they just ain't it.

husbands, surely (hopefully), but without any excessive murdering.

so i adore vegaspete, they're absolutely insane, which is right up my alley. but murder husbands they are not.

[stitchwitchsapprentice]

The Dreamer: A Short Story

The morning the boat wrecked on the shore, Emilijus was up early. He had gotten up for a walk along the beach, as he liked the quiet morning, when he had all of the Autumn Sea to himself. When he saw the tattered sails, he thought someone might be on board and tried to rescue them, but the boat was empty. His brothers, Marijus and Aronas found him shortly afterward, trying to haul the thing ashore.

“What are you even going to do with this ship?” Marijus said as they helped him drag it out of the water.

“Repair it.” Emilijus gazed across the sea. “Maybe I’ll go to Saal.” If he squinted, he could just see the island on the horizon.

“Why would you want to go to Saal?” asked Aronas, “You would be leaving your family.”

“But I would have family there,” Emilijus told him, “There are more Dhadiz on Saal.”

Marijus spit on the ground. “Only because the Jadinth ‘quarantined’ us there during the pandemic.” He emphasized the word quarantined to make it clear he did not believe the claims of the Jadinth government.

“The pandemic is over,” Aronas said. “We are happy here.”

Marijus turned to his brother. “Happy we’re ruled by Jadinth? We used to rule our own country! We used to have colonies on Qwen! And now we’re occupied by another country that would see the death of our history.” He pointed to Emilijus. “You mark my words. The Jadinth will come for us here, and then they will come for Saal. It may take longer, but you will never be safe, here or there.”

“The death of our history? Are you referring to the history that I’ve been teaching? The history that I’m still teaching?”

“Aronas, stop being so–what’s that word you always call me–pervinacious. You’re lying to yourself. The oppressor has to move slowly, or they won’t be successful. Just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it won’t.”

Aronas opened his mouth to speak, but Emilijus cut him off. “Can we put the debate on hold? I need to get to class, and I imagine Aronas does too.”

“I suppose you don’t have an opinion, then?” Marijus asked.

“I don’t have time to have an opinion,” Emilijus said, “I’m about to be late. There’s a genetics expert giving a lecture today.”

“Oh? Are you going to get into another argument about the witches of Tuirli?” Marijus tried to sound nonchalant.

“Leave him be,” Aronas said, “If Emilijus wants to dream about magic, let him.”

“I’ve just never met a scientist who’s such a dreamer.”

“Or a biologist who still believes in magic.” Emilijus let his brothers laugh. He was fine to be the butt of the joke if it meant they were getting along for a moment.

Emilijus changed his clothes and drove to the university with Aronas. He hadn't been lying when he told his brothers he was about to be late. He arrived as his professor was introducing the speaker. Amber Cahel was younger than he had expected. He was used to gray haired experts presenting, but she couldn't have been older than Aronas. She was quite short, with chin-length hair and large eyes. She also had no left arm. Emilijus tried not to stare.

Though it was a Dhadiz university, Amber spoke in the Jadinth language, indicating she wasn't originally from their country. Nevertheless, she was knowledgeable about her subject. Emilijus raised his hand. "What's your opinion on the theory that magic influences genetics?"

The woman blinked large brown eyes in his direction, a half-smile spread across her lips, as if she thought he was joking. When she realized he wasn't, she answered. "The idea of genes being influenced by magic is a myth that should have died out by now." She emphasized the words as if to point out that Emilijus's question was stupid. A couple of other students laughed, but most were used to his antics by now. "Early settlers to our planet believed in magic, and thought that red hair was a sign of it, causing the majority of redheads to flee to safety in what is now Tuirli." He opened his mouth to speak again, but Amber continued before he could. "There is no evidence of magic having an influence on genetics, and for that matter, there is no evidence of magic existing at all, though it can make for good fiction."

When the lecture was over, Emilijus found Marijus at the restaurant where he worled. He took a seat at the bar and waited for business to slow before they could talk. "So," Marijus asked, setting down a soda in front of his brother, "did the subject of witches come up?"

"Oh, she didn't seem interested." Emilijus didn't touch the soda. He watched out the window as if expecting Amber to walk by.

"Okay, what happened?" When he didn't get an answer, Marijus waved his hand in front of the other man's face. "Milon to Emilijus. You are never this calm about a genetics talk. What is going on?"

Emilijus turned at last. "I don't know. I... She..."

"Oh. She."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you're interested in more than genetics, that's what it means."

Emilijus reached across the counter to smack his brother, but Marijus jumped back. Emilijus settled down and sipped at the soda. "I would like to talk to her again."

"Where is she from anyway?" Marijus leaned onto the counter again.

"Vilte."

Marijus's face grew dark. "Leave that one be, Emilijus."

"Why?"

"Remember Rokas, who we met last year? They lived in Vilte. Three months ago, they were kicked out of their house, and it was leased to some Jadinth man, Matthias Hoffman. Made him the new sherriff. She probably took some Dhadiz family's home. She's probably a spy, looking for excuses to get Dhadiz kicked out of their homes here."

"No way. She's only here for a couple of days, and then she's going back."

"Yeah maybe. But Hoffman? They call him the hangman. There's almost no Dhadiz living there anymore."

Emilijus down the soda, placed some money on the counter and swung his legs off the stool.

"I'm just saying, be careful," Marijus called after him as he walked away.

Emilijus put aside his brother's words, not expecting to see Amber again. But he did. The next day, as he was walking home from class, he stopped to get pasties, and saw her in line.

"Hey, talk to any witches lately?" She said to him when she turned around.

Emilijus shook his head. "criticize all you want, people have been discussing magic on Milon for centuries."

"Taboo and superstition. That's all it is. I have blonde hair. If looking different meant you had magical powers, then what abilities do I have?"

Emilijus's mouth quirked up. "Well, if you did have them, you would be quick to cover them up, wouldn't you?" 

Amber shook her head and brushed past her with her pasty. "That's why you lost the war to Jadinth, you know. Superstition."

Emilijus frowned. "You really believe that?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

In response, he just shook his head and walked away. Marijus was right. Maybe not about Amber being a spy, but she was Jadinth. His brothers may have teased him for his talk, but they understood, at least. They knew the stories as well as he did, and some part of them surely wondered. Amber had lost all her wonder, if she'd ever had any.

Emilijus was glad to see Amber go, and back to every day life. In between classes and attempting to settle arguments with his brothers, Emilijus worked on repairing the wrecked boat. He didn't expect to see the woman again, but the chilly winter wind brought new faces to town, and Emilijus was stunned to discover who would be teaching one of his spring classes.

"Hello again," she said as walked from the room. He didn't intend to speak to her, until she spoke his name. "Emilijus, right?"

He stopped and turned to her, but remained silent.

"Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot last semester, and I hoped we could at least agree to disagree, if you're going to be in my class."

Emilijus crossed his arms. "Aren't you a bit young to be teaching?"

"I'm twenty-eight. I don't think your brother's much older than me, and he teaches. And how old are you?"

"Twenty-two," Emilijus said.

"So this is your last semester, I expect?"

"I hope so." Emilijus turned to leave.

"I'm taking your brother's class," she blurted out.

"What?"

"I thought you should know that I'm taking your brother's class. I thought if I'm going to live here, I should have a Dhadiz perspective on the war."

Instead of responding, Emilijus went straight to the restaurant to see Marijus.

Thre was a man sitting in Emilijus's usual seat, talking animatedly with Marijus. Emiljus took the seat next to him, and Marjus introduced him as Nojus. "He's from Saal," Marijus said, "I know you're interested in the place, so I thought I would introduce you."

"Oh, things aren't much different there. Less Jadinth, I suppose."

"Marijus says that if we're going to take our country back, we'll be taking Saal back first." Marijus gave Emilijus the look a teacher might give a bored student who unexpectedly gave the right answer when called on.

"That's the plan, anyway."

"How long are you going to be here?"

The man shrugged. "A few months, maybe. Maybe longer. We're trying to recruit."

"Recruit for what?"

Marijus slapped a hand on the counter. His eyes burned as they did when he argued with Aronas. "Revolution," he said.

Emilijus spent little time concerned with revolution, but he did enjoy getting to know Nojus, who explained he had come to the mainland from Saal on a supply boat, which was about the only way to get back and forth these days.

"There's not much on the island," he explained one day to Emilijus as he waited with his nieces, Romualda and Silvija, for their father. "But we have farms, and the mainland needs food. So we trade with them for other goods. And if you know the sailors, sometimes you can buy passage by offering to help aboard the ship."

"What do you trade for?" asked Romualda.

"Well, all sorts of things. Computers, clothing, books." He gave a knowing smile to the ten year old, whom he had already learned was an avid reader. "But none of that is as important as what we grow on our farms. Our procellus believes we can use it to bargain with the government. To keep our way of life."

"Does that work?" Marijus scoffed.

"It has so far."

Silvija, only six, didn't care for the political talk. "You have a procellus?" She asked wide-eyed. Emilijus felt the same way as his niece, though he knew if he voiced it, he would be laughed at for dreaming.

"What's a procellus?" A familiar voice asked. Emilijus looked up to see Aronas arriving on the scene with none other than Amber.

"I think the word you would use in Jadinth is Shaman," Aronas said. "They were leaders in the community."

"Actually, the word stems from the color of their eyes--gray, like storm clouds," Emilijus explained.

"Ah, more of this belief that magic is connected to recessive genes." Amber smiled at him.

"Come on girls, I believe it's our turn to prepare dinner." Seeing the trouble brewing between his brother and student, Aronas took one daughter in each hand and they walked toward the store.

Marijus looked at his watch. "We'd better be going to. We're meeting some friends." He bowed politely to Amber, and then he and Nojus departed.

"Was it something I said?" Amber asked.

Emilijus scuffed his foot against the concrete. "Marijus just doesn't like talking to Jadinth people."

"Well, I wouldn't either, if I spent so much time with a Bronzewalker."

"You mean Nojus?"

"Yes. Did you see the tattoo on his forearm? The symbols for copper and tin? The Bronzewalkers are a radical political group. They want to overthrow the government."

Emilijus believed this, but he had no intention of telling Amber. He tried to keep his voice lighthearted. "Then I suppose he's already given himself away."

Amber scoffed. "I'm no spy. Besides, I don't always agree with the government either?"

"Oh really? Why is that?" Emilijus had started to walk towards his home, and Amber was following.

"Well, I've learned a lot about Dhadiz history and art in your brother's class, and it seems a shame to just be rid of it."

"Do think they will get rid of it? Aronas doesn't."

Amber gave a small shrug. "I know there are people who want it. But, I suppose it hasn't happened yet. The truth is, Jadinth benefited from the Dhadiz universities. Science is so much more advanced here. It's why I came."

"And yet you don't believe me that grey eyes and red hair are signs of magical abilities?"

Amber laughed. "No. But I learned that here. To be honest, my people are just as superstitious as yours."

"Ah, blonde hair." Emilijus pointed to Amber.

"Gives me a magical ability to detect bullshit?"

Emilijus laughed. "You said it, not me."

"Is there anything you think of other than magic and stories?"

He stuck his hands in his pockets. "Well, you'd be surprised what stories turn out to be truths. And what truths turn out to be stories." There was a silence between them, and then Emilijus took a risk. "I want to know more about the pandemic."

"You suspect foul play?"

"Not originally, no. But there are still pockets where there are outbreaks. Have you heard of a drug called Polyox?"

"I don't think so."

"It's a white powder, and it mimics the disease--the pain, the struggle to breathe. It's temporary. But by the time the effects fade..."

"...the damage has been done." Amber finished. Again, they walked in silence. Emilijus worried that Amber's criticisms of her government had been nothing but a bluff. But if she was going to turn one of them in, it might as well be him, rather than his older brother. Then Amber said, "I'd like to see your research."

Against his better judgement and the advice of his brother, Emilijus took Amber to his home, and showed her the old boat, where he also kept his findings on the Polyox drug and the attacks on Dhadiz people. "I work on repairing the boat from time to time," Emilijus said, "so no one thinks it's odd I'm out here."

Amber had insights into his research, and suggestions for how to gather further information. When Emilijus's final term at school ended, she moved in with him, to provide a better excuse as to why they spent so much time together. She continued to travel to different cities, giving talks about genetics, but she saw an increase in cities where recent outbreaks had occurred. Meanwhile, Emilijus studied the chemical side, secretly hoping to track down the drug's engineer.

Progress was slow, and years passed. Romualda grew into a teenager who listened with increasing intensity to Nojus on his visits to her uncle's house. Silvija began to write poetry, but found it increasingly difficult to be published in Jadinth magazines. Emilijus's nights grew steadily more busy as he worked toward his medical degree. But always, Amber was there, and what began as a charade turned into something real. At the end of the fourth year, the two were married, and shortly afterward, Amber discovered she was pregnant. But this was to be the height of their time together. For the national conflict increased, and with it, came troubling changes.

First was the announcement that schools would no longer be taught in the Dhadiz language. "It's not fair!" Silvija cried, "I can't write poetry in Jadinth!"

"You'll have to," said her father in a monotone.

Emilijus ignored his brother. "Write for me, Silvija. Write for your cousin. Someone needs to teach our baby to read and write in their language."

Romualda agreed. "That's right. We can't just give in. Uncle Marjius would say..."

Aronas slammed his fist on the table. "Damned what Uncle Marijus would say!" Both his daughters jumped. They had never seen their father so angry before.

"Come on girls." Amber took them to the other room, so that Emilijus could speak to his brother alone.

"Aronas, what's the problem?"

Aronas stared at the air in front of him, not looking at anything in the room. "I can't teach them their language. I can't teach them their history."

"You'll find a way."

"I signed a contract that I would teach the Jadinth curriculum." His eyes focused on Emilijus at last. "What else was I supposed to do? If I don't comply, I could lose my family!"

"Then teach the curriculum," Emilijus said, "someone in this family should make an honest living. Let Marijus and I take care of the girls." And that was how, on the weekends, Emilijus had a group of children gathered around his boat. If anyone asked, they were learning how to sail. 

Emilijus tried to Marijus to help, knowing the issue would be important to him, but when he went to his brother's house, Marijus had disappeared. He went to the restaurant to find him, but the manager said he had quit several days earlier. No one knew what happened to him. They asked everyone they knew, and finally heard that he had gotten work aboard a fishing boat on its way to Saal.

"Are we sure the story is true, though?" Emilijus asked his wife.

Amber nodded. "It fits. He's probably joined the Bronzewalkers."

One night, while Emilijus was working late the university, Amber discussed the problem with Aronas. "Perhaps we should go to Saal as well."

"And leave behind our family?"

Amber threw her hands in the air. "Take your family with us! You, your wife, the girls, Emilijus. What family do you have left? He's fixed that boat, you know. While teaching the girls. We could all fit on it. We could go to Saal, find Marijus. Rebuild your lives among your people."

But Aronas could not be swayed. "My life is here. It always has been."

Amber rubbed her belly, thinking of the world her child would be born into. Perhaps Aronas did not believe Saal would be any better, and perhaps it wasn't. She returned home, resolving to let Emilijus handle the conflict between the brothers, as he always had.

But there would be no such conversation. Emilijus returned home triumphant. "I found it!" He announced, "I have proof they used Polyox to stage the outbreaks!" After years of searching, he had traced the drug to its creator, a man who, if they could get him to safety, might agree to share his story with the world. Amber and Emilijus stayed up all night discussing the logistics of where they could take him.

But the next morning, soldiers arrived at their door. Emilijus had barely answered it before it was knocked off its hinges as the men came forward to arrest him. They declared he had committed treason, and they knew it was because of their research.

"Don't take him!" Amber said, "It was my research!" She tried to ply one soldier's hand away from Emilijus's arm.

"Be quiet, woman!" he said, pushing her into the wall. "You're Jadinth. If you stay out of this, you'll be safe."

But Amber did not want safety. She charged the men again, and was stayed by a cloud of white powder. The world spun as she gasped for breath and fell to the ground.

When Amber awoke the house was empty. Her body ached with pain, and her arms bore scars as if she had been burned. She gasped for air, and knew she had been attacked with the Polyox drug. Emilijus was gone, and perhaps with him, his proof of what the Jadinth government had done to his people.

Aronas found her on the beach, pushing the boat into the water. As she had told him, Emilijus had repaired it. He had re-painted it and named it the dreamer. Amber looked as if she had lived through a fire and gasped with each shove, yet she would not stop. "Where are you going?"

"Emilijus is gone. I'm going to find Marijus. If someone can save him, it's the Bronzewalkers." She paused to catch her breath. "Come with me. You and your family."

"I can't..." Aronas could not bring himself to leave the city he had known all his life, the city where his parents had lived and died. But he got the boat into the water, and helped Amber aboard. He watched it sail toward the horizon, and she went below deck and collapsed again from exhaustion, praying it would reach Saal.

[synchodai]

Again, this post was not meant to be a Daemon Targaryen vs Simon Strong post where I disparage Simon and defend Daemon. I never said Simon was wrong for calling him a prince. He still is one by rights of being Viserys's brother and Jaehaerys's grandson.

I have already said that my concern was correcting people who specifically called it treason (which Simon never did), a serious crime where a person can be legally put to death for being a traitor to his liege.

I already explained how "king consort" has been used in the source material and in the history the source material borrows from. You had claimed they never used that term for Daemon in the books, so I showed a quote where a character explicitly does. I've already explained how rebuffing "my prince" for "Your Grace" does not mean he sees himself as higher than a queen. I've explained that based on historical context, a king regnant and queen regnant would not have different ranks and Rhaenyra titling her husband king would not diminish her.

You are free to not be convinced by the arguments I brought up. You seem to have already made up your mind about these things and have drawn your conclusions from your own interpretation. But I only brought those facts up to support my original point about treason—which you ended up concluding yourself that he wasn't doing.

I won't say Daemon is treasonous, but he is overstepping and trying to assert his power.

We are in agreement. I never said he wasn't overstepping or being petulant or trying to assert his power — he can do all those things and not commit treason against the queen. My original post didn't say anything directly about Daemon's personal qualities, only how this action of his will interact with the society he inhabits.

I've already said that I don't really care to debate Daemon's intentions or his reputation with other characters (which your other new arguments primarily hinge on). They don't matter to the point I was making. And yes, you can discern his values and whether he has bad intentions from his insistence on "Your Grace," but I'm sorry, I don't really want to have that kind of tangential discussion.

I appreciate you taking your time to write out a detailed reply, but as I said, I'm not here to argue about Daemon's intent or morality. Although I'm sure a lot of people would be interested in reading it, the intricacies of a fictional character's motivations are highly subject to interpretation and would muddle the original point I was trying to make. Respectfully, please find another person to have that conversation with, because that wasn't what I set out to do when I made this post.

"Your Grace." This was actually Daemon affirming Rhaenyra's legitimacy, not treason. He insisted on being addressed as a king consort (married to a crowned queen) as opposed to a prince consort (married to an uncrowned princess). Both crowned king and queen are referred to as Your Grace.

[poisonouswritings]

Can I make a somewhat obscure request? About some headcanon of what the main 4 are like with an mc who suffered sexual abuse in his work area (for example, a nurse) and because of this them does not want to be sexually intimate with his love interest?

I hope its not so shady and have a nice day/afternoon/night

I spent a little while debating if this was something I could bring myself to answer. I said in my rules that I would write about SA as part of a character's background, and I guess I should have been more specific in saying I didn't want to write it as the focus of a post. That's why I specifically said I would be fine with a 'mention' of it. But I've had some thoughts about it so hopefully I can do this one ask and then not touch the subject again for at least a while.

GN!Reader, I won't be going into any sort of detail but I'll still tag this with an SA trigger warning, this will be brief and vague for my own sake, I'm going to add the NSFW banner here just in case.

Felix Escellun

Felix is very understanding, though I think he's a little surprised. You never think it's gonna happen to someone you know, y'know?

When you tell him, he's quiet. He wants to give you the space to get everything off your chest, and he doesn't wanna risk rushing you. He asks a few questions here and there - did you ever report it? Did you go to therapy? Do you want to? - but mostly he lets you talk.

I think he's afraid to touch you for a while. Even if you tell him it's okay, he's just a little anxious about accidentally hurting you or scaring you or anything.

If you struggle with panic-attacks or anxiety episodes or PTSD nightmares or anything like that, he offers to make some soothing potions or maybe a charm or something. Maybe even an enchanted dream catcher or something? He'll talk to you about different options and preferences and that sort of thing. If you're embarrassed about it then he takes your hands (after asking if you're okay with it) and assures you there's absolutely no shame in needing help. He spent five years living alone with his grief over Rime's death, so he knows how much that sucks and how important it is to be vulnerable. I think you taught him that.

I don't think he ever really had sex when Rime was dead? I can't remember if it was mentioned in canon but I dunno, I just think he was too consumed by his own grief to be interested in that. So when you say you aren't comfortable having sex, he's genuinely fine with that. He just needs you to outline your boundaries when it comes to other types of touching (hugging, hand holding, etc etc).

Stella cuddles with you more often, but presumably that's just a coincidence?

Anisa Anka

Anisa, as a Sunstone lieutenant, has probably had one or two incidents where her subordinates reported something along those lines. So when you tell her about what happened, she kinda defaults to that official procedure - comforts you softly, gently asks questions but doesn't press for info, assures you it wasn't your fault, so on and so on.

I think it's very much in her nature to want to confront the problem and punish the abuser. That's why those subordinates felt comfortable with telling her - because they were damn sure she wouldn't just sweep it under the rug. Shifts would immediately be changed to ensure no contact, evidence would be gathered, and she would do her absolute best to get the abuser imprisoned. If that wasn't possible then at the very least they would be kicked from the Order and threatened advised to stay far, far away from the victim.

But how can she possibly confront the person who hurt you when they're in another dimension? I think that's really hard for her to deal with.

She was already careful about potentially making you uncomfortable and/or accidentally abusing her position as your guide of this world, so now she's extra cautious about it. Very encouraging about whatever boundaries you need to set. She's fine with not having sex - toys exist after all - and I think she values emotional closeness over sexual intimacy anyways.

Very protective over you. Never lets you out of her sight when you guys are in public.

Sage Lesath

Alright let me get this out of the way; you can call it projecting or you can call it a natural morbidity, but I HC that Sage has dealt with this in the past.

Remember in the intro where Sage said he 'doesnt roll out of bed for anything less than ten silver' and one of the bar guys said he'd heard Sage would 'warm any bed for half of that'? I think there's truth to that. Especially when he had to take care of Tulsi and desperately needed the money.

I also think that you combine him getting sloppy - if not blackout - drunk with a reputation for being a slut with his favored drinking spots being full of criminals...

All I'm saying is that when you tell Sage about whatever happened to you, he's painfully understanding.

I think he's struggled with feelings of being weak. He's a strong man, a mercenary at that, and being victimized just,, fucks with him. So if you have feelings like that too, he does his best to reassure you.

You're uncomfortable with sex, that's genuinely fine. Just tell him what your limits are. Is flirting okay? Kissing? Cuddling? Do you want a safeword? He'll do everything he can to accommodate you. You just need to communicate your needs.

Probably doesn't bring you around the tavern anymore, or at least he lets you decide when you're okay going. He'll do everything he can to shield you from people being assholes, but it's a bar. Creeps are kinda inevitable.

I don't know what it would mean for your relationship. Sage is a very sexual guy, y'know? He would never ever pressure you into anything, but he might broach the topic of an open relationship. His first priority is you, though, so if it comes down to him relying on his hands and some toys all the time, then he's fine with that.

Rime Varela

This is another one of those times where I really wish we had a Rime route so I could make a better guess about how he'd react to a situation like this.

Something I've noticed in my replaying of Felix's route - aka the closest we got to a Redeemed route - Rime seems to struggle with empathy. And while we can certainly say that it's because there wasn't really a situation that warranted him showing it or because he was still so hurt over everything that happened that he emotionally shut himself off or whatever, I think it would be interesting if he just,, lost the ability to express empathy when he was stuck in the Void. Maybe it's something that gradually comes back over time?

That isn't to say that he doesn't care about what you're saying. Far from it. He just... doesn't really know how to comfort you. Not with something like this.

He's the least reactive about what happened, and maybe that's a good thing. Obviously he assures you it wasn't your fault and doesn't think any lesser of you for what you went through, but he doesn't have the same sort of heaviness that the other three get.

He really doesn't mind not having sex. Five years in real life was like,, I dunno, a thousand years in the Void or whatever. He wouldn't mind having sex, but he also really doesn't if it doesn't happen.

Though it's not obvious, Rime is keeping a close eye on you from then on. If he notices you're getting anxious or having nightmares or anything like that, then he offers to let you talk about it. And if you don't want to then he'll change the topics, usually ranting about something he's been researching or complaining about something stupid the other Starsworn did or whatever.

[salmonthestoryteller]

I really don't mind what happens now and then

Written for: Malex Cupid Week 2022 Saturday, Feb 12th - Silly Saturday Theme Failed First Date @malex-cupid

I really don't mind what happens now and then Kryptonite (My Zombie AU) Malex Ficlet

“I checked the area, Michael. There's no undead around, Michael. Don't you want to spend an entire afternoon all alone with me, Michael?”

In his defense, Alex really had surveyed the area the day before.  “Are you really complaining right now?”

“Yes. I'm pretty sure being trapped in a barn loft waiting for our siblings to rescue our asses has to be among the worst first dates ever.”

“Been on a lot of first dates since the world ended, Guerin?”

“So not the point.” Michael griped.

“I mean, we are technically still spending the day together?”

“Yeah, just you, me, and about 30 zombies.”  Michael glances over the loft edge. The hissing and scratching of the zombies grew louder.

“Will you stop doing that?”  Alex lectured him. “You'll get them worked up. I don't want to know if they can knock over the barn.

“Why do you suppose they can't climb ladders?” Michael asked him.  “They walk, and I've seen them crawl. What makes ladders beyond them?  Do they lose all memories so it's like a child, starting from scratch?  Would one eventually figure it out, if they were given enough cause to?”

“Guerin, as much as I love that big brain of yours, please never suggest their ability to learn to me again.”  Alex cut him off before he could get too far gone on the subject.  As much as he admired his brilliance, he preferred he saved his theories about the infected to his brainstorm sessions with Liz, Kyle, and Heath.

In the years since they had all found each other again, truths had come to light that had changed everything.

The revelation of Noah’s existence. Max's near-death from reversing the zombification of the preserved Rosa. Breaking into Caulfield for the facilities to save Max, only to discover the aliens held prisoners there. Meeting Michael's mother, and everything she'd revealed. From Maria's alien heritage to everyone else connected to Nora and Louise - Walt, Dallas’s father, his own Great-Uncle.

The loss of Caulfield when it turned out some of the aliens there were secret agents of Mr Jones.  An evil alien dictator, who turned out to be both the alien Max was apparently a clone of, and Michael's father.

Setting up their new base at Deep Sky, an organization run by Kyle's uncle.  The utter insanity that had been their fight against Mr Jones.  The victory over which still hadn't helped solve the mystery of the zombie apocalypse Noah had started.

Honestly, when Alex had discovered the barn where Nora and Louise had once stayed was still standing, he'd thought a day out alone with Michael there would do them both good.  He hadn't anticipated the zombie herd that ambushed them away from their vehicle - stragglers from who knew where this many years into the apocalypse.  At least they'd had the cb radio on them to call for help.

“They're eating our picnic, and they definitely don't have the taste buds to appreciate Arturo’s cooking.”  Michael sat next to him with a sigh.

The zombies would scavenge food left behind, as well as attack anything living. Apparently caught in a constant feeding frenzy. Though one that didn't apply to each other, for reasons they also hadn't figured out.  Alex wasn't sure he wanted to know, but it had been heavily debated between the science squad of their growing group of friends and family.

“Turn the brain off, Guerin.”  He reached out to poke at his head playfully.

“Doesn't work like that.”  Michael tried to catch his hand with his own, but he managed to evade his grasp.

“Sure there isn't an off switch somewhere around here?”  He poked at his head again repeatedly. Michael dodged his pokes, trying to get ahold of his hand but missing more. The mood between them lightened to laughter, and when Michael finally caught his hand, Alex just leaned his head against his shoulder with a grin. “See? Just had to switch channels.”

“Nah, my brain is always set to your frequency.”  Michael whispered, turning to press a kiss to his forehead.

“That was almost sweet.”

“I object to that almost.”

Alex grinned, and turned his head to catch his lips in a brief kiss. A brush of lips. Once, twice. There was heat there, threatening a blaze, but under the circumstances, they knew better than to chase it.  Michael leaned his head into his shoulder this time with a sigh of disappointment.

“Still the worst first date ever.”

Alex laughed.

End

Author’s Notes:  Apparently, I'm adding onto my zombie au.  This was fun to write, and included a quick breakdown on how I think we'd get from my original 3 pieces to this one - mixing the plots of the three seasons with this zombie au premise. Finished this just a few minutes ago. Apologies for any errors.

[the-archlich]

I'm getting very bored of the Liu Feng discussion so here's one more statement on it and then I'm moving on to something new.

There tend to be two separate discussions going on here that don't really have much to do with each other.

The first is whether there was a good political reason for it. There's lots of room for debate on this topic. On the one hand, Liu Feng had the potential to cause a lot of trouble if he chose to and executing him meant that wasn't a danger anymore. On the other hand there were many less extreme ways to head off such a potential problem, and there is nothing recorded to suggest Liu Feng had any improper intentions. He rejected a generous offer to defect to Wei, there is account of him being given a noble title at the same time as Liu Bei's natural sons, nor of him complaining about it.

This is an inherently amoral discussion. This debate is about whether the potential for harm if Liu Feng made himself a problem was greater than the potential harm of killing him; something that his father very firmly decided was worth doing.

Presenting this as an ethical criticism is another discussion entirely. It takes an extremely warped sense of ethics to say it is ethical to punish a man (with death!) for something he might do. The political question does not enter into the ethical discussion because the political question can only exist with ethics stripped away.

The loss of Shangyong, defection of Meng Da, and refusal to aid Guan Yu are given as a justification for the execution but I think anyone having an honest discussion would admit those were just to paint over the unpleasant political reality. Meng Da's loyalty was always a moving target, Liu Feng had valid concerns about leaving Shangyong to help Guan Yu, and between the Wei army and the defection of the Shen faction (who also would never be loyal), Liu Feng had little chance of actually holding Shangyong. This is to say nothing of the many other generals who lost officers or territory who were not punished in the same way. To pretend that these charges are legitimate and not just a way to gloss over an amoral political decision is disingenuous.

The position of "Liu Feng should/should not have been executed" is one that can be debated. The subjective opinion of "This was an immoral act and I dislike Zhuge Liang because of it" is entirely a personal judgment that any opinions on the political realities don't change.

It would also be dishonest to say that Zhuge Liang is not given a special place in culture (he just got a new anime!) and that this status doesn't afford him protections from criticism that most others do not enjoy. By and large he is given the benefit of the doubt in all situations. Every controversial figure has their apologists (I've defended some Cao Cao and Sima Yi shit I really should not have). In Zhuge Liang's case, this is the default state.