#this store kind of Only sells oil paints. okay then

[muirneach]

no one is more oppressed than an artist with an obscure medium in a small town

[always-andromeda]

How Dano Characters Would Play Stardew Valley Part I | Dano!Characters x GN!Reader

Dano!Characters x GN!Reader

Author's Note | I mentioned that I had this idea to the groupchat girlies and they were super encouraging about it; so...this exists now. I just wanted to jot down some wholesome thoughts to give myself a little bit of a break from fulfilling milestone requests. I also just know way too much about this game and it really shows. Part II of this will be posted tomorrow!!

Warnings | spoilers for Stardew Valley? overall, this is pure fluff!

✰ Alex Jones/Barry Milland ✰

Alex gets very fixated on the game. It's just so calming to him. Expect him to be playing it for literally hours on end, completely avoiding any other responsibility he might have.

He likes planting and picking flowers. No matter how much you tell him that they just aren't profitable, he just loves how pretty they are. He also loves planting strawberries in the Spring.

All of his animals are at full friendship levels with him because he is so diligent at keeping them fed and petting them every single day.

Alex choses a cat for his pet and absolutely goes with naming them after some sort of food. Think something along the lines of Peach, Pumpkin, or Blueberry.

He deliberates for a very long time before choosing to marry Penny. He just thinks that she's so kind and her home life reminds him a lot of what his own looked like when he was younger. When she asks him what theme he'd like her to renovate the bedroom with, he chooses the strawberry theme, of course.

Alex gets a little intimidated by some of the other characters like the Wizard, Hayley, Kent, and Shane. He just doesn't get why they have to be so cold and never really gets higher than two hearts with them.

His favorite villager ever is Willy. He's not particularly good at fishing, but he makes it part of his routine to fish with Willy whenever he's outside of his fishing store.

✰ Calvin Weir-Fields ✰

Right off the bat, Calvin absolutely spoils the Stardew Valley experience. He's incredibly impatient and skips through most heart events and cutscenes. Within hours of starting the game, he's consulting the wiki.

He has a weird dislike for Elliott. Especially if you have any interest in the character. Calvin will fish just to acquire garbage that he then gifts to Elliott.

Calvin marries Leah. A red headed artist who has a bad ex? Yeah, that sounds pretty familiar. You know Calvin is zeroed in on this poor girl. When Leah paints the portrait of Marnie, Calvin chooses the Classic Country Portrait.

He would be okay with having the two children but gets so annoyed with having them run around his house (it throws off the aesthetic) that he'd turn them into doves and only feels bad about it when Leah asks about having children again.

He's decent with the farming and everyday upkeep of the farm but he doesn't see much of a point in the slice of life narrative. He needs an objective. So he just puts all his focus on making as much money as possible.

He gets really good at making jellies, wines, and caviar that he then sells. He tries to get into caring for the animals so he can make cheese, mayo, oil, and fabric but he's not nearly attentive enough to the animals.

This man goes days without feeding the animals and rarely remembers to pet them. He also goes nuts when he gets to name them. He has theming for basically all of the different types of animals. For example, all of the cows are named after gems.

Calvin gets pretty sick of the game pretty quickly though. He'll get bored with the unending nature and the second he puts it down, there's a good chance that he'll simply never pick it back up again.

✰ Dwayne Hoover ✰

Dwayne mostly prefers mining and combat to farming. He's fairly good at the combat aspect, actually.

Also loves being able to enchant his weapons at the Forge on Ginger Island. He has chests full of various weapons (that he never uses) but he still loves collecting them all.

He's scarily good at navigating the Skull Caverns. He has a fully enchanted Galaxy sword and absolutely kills it with his reflexes, killing monsters left and right and getting all of the best loot.

If Dwayne could insert himself into Sebastian, Sam, and Abigail's friend group, he absolutely would.

He also has such a soft spot for the Junimos and tries his damn best to finish the Community Center so they can be freed. If he could punch Morris the way that Pierre can when the Community Center is finished, he would also do that.

At first he says that he's going to stay single in the game. But Krobus? He absolutely strives to get Krobus to move into his farm. He feels bad that Krobus can't go outside and mostly stays indoors.

On rainy days though, Krobus will tell his character, “Ever since I left my people, I've been searching for a new home...now I belong somewhere. That means everything to me.” This makes Dwayne shed a few tears that he will fervently deny.

✰ Edward Nashton ✰

When he first discovers the game, he thinks he's going to be normal about it. He's just going to try it out. But like with everything else in his life, he gets fixated fast.

He dedicates hundreds of hours into the game and creates a dozen different save files. This is because he wants to explore the game to its fullest potential but doesn't want to get bored by playing on the same save file.

Edward marries basically everyone at some point but he definitely has his favorite storylines. His favorites: Abigail (he gets to be her protector when she starts out in the mines and she literally kills for him; what a queen), Sebastian (maybe he reminds him of a certain emo bat boy but maybe he's thinks it's cool that he's drummer, we'll never know), and Penny (she takes care of children, maybe she'll take care of him).

But the marriages are the least of his interests, to be very honest. He hops from spouse to spouse on different save files anyways. For the most part, he loves the mystery; or he likes uncovering mysteries.

He's not great at combat but he loves exploring the mines and finding new pieces of loot to collect.

He collects all the shiny things he finds; both gems and museum items. He'd make his own museum in a giant shed on the farm even though it doesn't do anything to make him money. He just likes keeping little trinkets!

That being said, he hoards basically everything and has chests full of resources that he can never possibly use all of. He spends hours on this game? Of course he's loaded on resources and mostly broke on the majority of his save files. But he wouldn't have it any other way.

✰ Eli Sunday ✰

Eli has a massive savior complex going into it. Shane and Pam are massive red flags for him. He tries going after Shane until he realizes that it's going into a romantic direction. The internalized homophobia has him reeling away and going straight to saving Pam.

This puts him directly in front of Penny. Penny intrigues him. She's quiet, meek, and cares for the town's children. She's the quiet and submissive wife of his little Christian boy dreams.

Eli absolutely tramples over poor Penny. He just gives her poppies continually until she has enough hearts for him to marry her. The second they're married, he kind of forgets she exists and doesn't really notice that the heart levels can deteriorate. 

That doesn't matter though. Father Eli has some money to make! This man wants to maximize his profits in any way that he possibly can.

Starfruit absolutely changed the game for him. He's got his math down exactly right. This is the kind of guy who would write down all of his math and work out the numbers.

He absolutely names his farm Eden and names all of the animals biblical names.

Eli loves having a farm that looks rich and lush. He fills the entire space with barns, coops, fruit trees, and squares of crops all being watered with iridium sprinklers. This farm is his virtual paradise and it really shows.

✰ Hank ✰

Hank has a somewhat normal attachment to this game at first. But it truly is incredibly comforting for him.

Socializing in real life and having his own experiences are kind of difficult for him to manage. So the game is a nice, relaxing reprieve from the anxiety and dread he carries with him every day.

When it comes time to choose a pet, Hank goes with a dog. Specifically the floppy eared brown dog. He’d name it something unbearably sweet like Honey or Chocolate.

Hank finds solace in the story and the intimate moments between the NPCs. He loves the bonds that he can create with each of the townies and finds things that he can like about basically all of them (however, he isn't a huge fan of Pierre, Pam, and Morris, of course).

He loves fishing, foraging, and farming the most. Mining isn't his strongest suit, but he can manage well enough to get rocks and ores. Just don't expect him to go venturing into the Skull Mines more than once or twice.

The greenhouse is his favorite place on the farm. He grows flowers and plants fruit trees along the sides. Sometimes he just likes sitting in there for a few seconds, just to ground himself.

The storylines of each NPC is far more important than money making to Hank.

He dates basically all of the marriage candidates, but he is thoughtful enough to acquire a rabbit's foot so he avoids being slut shamed by the boys and girls.

Hank doesn't get married, though. He loves all of the marriage candidates and their storylines pretty much equally and can't commit to one. But he lets Krobus move in in a heartbeat. It just makes sense to him.

Krobus is a little strange to him and it takes a while for him to warm up to the monster. But as soon as he does, they're thick as thieves.

Hank actually finds it hilarious that he decorates his house in such a classical manner with fireplaces and bookshelves and everything while simultaneously having Krobus' little dungeon room added on to the side of the house.

✰ Jay ✰

Like Alex, Jay adores the animals and keeps them at full friendship levels at all times. He has the most trouble naming them, though, because he'll spend minutes just thinking about what he should call each animal.

He eventually settles on a human name theme. He'll call them just regular people names like Burt, Steve, or some goofy name. This is because he believes it gives them a level of respect that you cannot get from naming an animal after an inanimate object or anything else. Ideally, he wouldn't want to name them at all because, "Who am I to dictate their identity?"

The animals are there purely for a good time. He absolutely doesn't harvest anything from them and actually loses money getting wheat for them so they can eat every day. This man would have no food in his fridge, low energy, no health and he'd still be running to Marnie's to spend his last few gold on getting some wheat.

On many occasions, he has not gotten home on time and passes out at two in the morning at some random place in the forest. This is because he's obsessed with foraging and will explore every outdoor area to find every forage-able good. This is because he never has any money to actually buy food for himself.

Jay ends up marrying Maru. It's almost accidental. He didn't plan on marrying anyone in the game until he saw her heart event where the player looks at the stars with her. It's such an intimate moment that he is instantly smitten.

He completely commits to Maru when she frees her robotic invention, Marilda. It's a sentiment that he applies with every living being in real life, so of course he goes for her.

[maryroyale]

The lovely @curiouselfqueen tagged me on this one. (Thank you! I love these things.)

Uh. I have *feelings* about these? I have no idea why I feel so strongly, but... uh... there you go.

deep violet or blood red? Both? Not at the same time, but I love both. Purple and red are both power colors, but they convey very different things. Old ladies are allowed to wear both because they have the power to pull it off.

sunshine or moonlight? Oof. My default answer is moonlight? Some of the medication I’m on makes my eyes super-sensitive to sunlight. I’m like a damn vampire. Even on cloudy days I need sunglasses. I like seeing the sunlight through the trees when I’m in the woods? It’s pretty and far less painful.

Don’t get me wrong—I do love the moonlight. It’s so beautiful. Winter moonlight and summer moonlight are gorgeous.

80s music or 90s music? How dare you! Don’t speak to me or my 874 music genres ever again. Seriously though, I really love music. I listen to a wide variety of genres and some artists span decades. I love new wave and synthpop, but I also love pop punk and the swing revival. I can’t say one decade is better than the other.

orchids or dahlias? I like to garden, and from a gardening standpoint it’s dahlias all the way. Orchids are a wildly diverse species (over 25,000 types), but the pretty, delicate orchids they sell in stores are not hardy and require a lot of intensive, specific support. They’ll die if you plant them outside where I live. And the garden outside is what makes me happy and brings me joy.

garnet or ruby? These are such different stones. It’s almost like asking if I like chocolate milk or cola. Yes, they are both brown and you can drink them—but they’re really not similar.

Garnet— it’s semi-precious, plentiful, in use since antiquity. A decent go-to stone for jewelry. Like any gemstone, the color is determined by the type of impurities, so garnet can be almost any color. Blue garnets are the rarest. The Mohs scale for garnet depends on those same impurities because some can actually strengthen the hardness of the stone. Generally 6 to 7.5 on the Mohs scale.

I like garnets. Depending on the talent of the jeweler you can get lovely pieces set in silver that won’t cost an arm, a leg, and your soul. It was also my mother’s birthstone, so there’s that.

Ruby— Occasionally confused with spinels, rubies are pieces of corundum that contain the impurity chromium. Corundum that contains the impurities iron, titanium, vanadium, or magnesium are usually blue and referred to as sapphires. (Pink sapphires are actually poor quality rubies that the jewelry industry decided to rebrand to dupe the public. Similar to “chocolate diamonds” and other attempts to sell gems that don’t meet the criteria for their type.)

Corundum is a 9 on the Mohs scale. They highly sought after, have a rich mythos surrounding them, and feature prominently in history.

It seems like a lot of hype to me? They’re sturdy pieces of jewelry, not prone to breakage, but they ought to be for the price you pay. They’re pretty, I’ll grant you that.

moths or butterflies? Well, one is nocturnal and one is diurnal. One is fuzzy and stocky and one is smooth and slender. One is drab and one is brightly colored. I feel like I should picks moths on principle. I love Luna Moths. But butterflies are so very, very pretty. Moths I guess?

Aphrodite or Athena? Okay... so, um, here’s where it’s going to get heated. I apologize. I am *specifically* addressing how Athena and Aphrodite were worshipped/treated in Greek myths. I’m not looking at proto versions from Minoa, Mycenae, or Phoenicia. I’m also not looking at later syncretizations with other cultures e.g. Rome. It is the Greek myths that matter here because those are the myths and attitudes that were directly incorporated into Western culture. We’ve learned a lot about their origins, but *those* myths and attitudes were *not* incorporated into mainstream Western culture.

Athena was either born from Zeus’ head or his thigh. Either she has no mother—Zeus is her only parent—or Zeus swallowed her mother Metis (wisdom, prudence, counsel). This is critically important. In Athenian law, the father was the only legal parent. Mothers had no legal rights to their children at all. Athena is a very real symbol of that.

She is often portrayed as the goddess of wisdom, handicraft, and war. She is a goddess of industry (wine and olive oil). The thing we must ask is what kind of wisdom? What kind of war?

Plato argues this in Cratylus— that Athena’s wisdom could be a number of things from divine knowledge to moral intelligence. I think it’s important that Plato, one of Greece’s most celebrated philosophers, and more important one of the philosophers most embraced by Western Culture praised this choice of “moral intelligence.” [see Plato’s stance on poets in The Republic.]

Athena’s war is not the war of Ares, which is tied to passion and emotion. Ares represents the brutal aspects of war where humanity gives way to cruelty and inhumanity. Athena’s warfare is rational and “just.” Athena makes war on behalf of the city-state. Athena makes war to defend the government.

Athena’s purpose in myth and in poetry and song is to support the government. She is the shield of the king. She upholds and enforces the status quo. Look at her role in the Orestes trilogy. She supplants the Erinyes [the furies originally hunted and tormented ppl who committed matricide]. She decides that Iphigenia’s murder didn’t matter. Clytemnestra (Iphigenia’s mother) didn’t have the right to revenge for her daughter. Orestes was *justified* in murdering his mother because she killed his parent, his father.

Aphrodite also has a motherless birth, but it’s more incidental and spontaneous. Kronos cuts off his father Uranus’ genitals ( like you do ) and tosses them into the sea. Aphrodite is born from the sea foam. There’s a different feel to Aphrodite’s myth. An independence almost. Yes, a male god was involved because it’s a Greek requirement for any child, but it’s in such an incidental way. There was no purpose or intent on Uranus’ part. He had no control over her birth.

Aphrodite is an incredibly independent goddess. She owns her own sexuality and has autonomy over her own body. She is often referred to as the wife of Hephaestus, but in both the Iliad and Hesiod’s Theogony, Hephaestus has wives with different names and Aphrodite is unmarried.

A goddess with this kind of freedom and power in her own right—not tied to a husband or male family member (sorry Artemis!)— is almost unheard of. It makes Aphrodite unique and interesting.

TLDR: I prefer Aphrodite.

grapefruit or pomegranate? Pomegranate. For so many reasons, not the least of which is it’s associations with death and fertility. It’s a lovely contrast and a reminder that death brings forth life e.g. Nurse logs.

angel’s halo or devil’s horns? Oof. This is another rant, guys. Horns as a symbol of divine power are used throughout history and throughout the Indo-European culture. From Egyptian gods like Amun and Isis to Hindu gods like Śiva to Canaanite gods like El and Yahweh, horns have been used to show their power and might. Moses has most famously been depicted with horns due to murky/difficult translations of the Hebrew verb keren/qaran, which can mean BOTH “to send forth beams/rays” and “to be horned”.

There was a concerted effort to associate horns with the devil/evil/bad. Horns are also used to imply fertility/abundance, and that may have played into the perception of horns as devilish. Moses with horns was used as a jumping off point to demonize Jewish people during the Medieval period in a variety of European countries and cultures.

Halos, too, have been used across history and cultures as a symbol of divine power. Sumerian literature talks about a bright emanation that appears around gods and heroes. Chinese and Japanese Buddhist art shows Buddhist saints with halos.

I choose horns because I choose to reclaim that divine power. I reject the idea that either symbol is wholly good or wholly evil. I reject the idea that sexuality by itself is evil/wrong.

sirens or banshees? Both!!! I must admit a partiality to Sirens that is based wholly on my preference for the sea/ocean.

lorde or florence + the machine? Both!!! I love both groups and I’ve listened to their albums so many times. I will admit that I end up listening to Lorde more often when writing.

the birth of venus or the starry night? Huh. I’m going to assume that you mean the painting by Boticelli, even though there’s more than one Birth of Venus.

Honestly, Venus Anadyomene (Venus rising from the sea) is my favorite. It’s her origin myth and anyone could paint it, draw it, write about it, and put their own spin on it. It is malleable because it is myth. It lives on and changes and grows with us. Boticelli’s version is particularly lovely.

Starry Night (1889) belongs to VanGogh. No one can really recreate it without copying his style or his vision. Verschuier’s The Great Comet of 1680 Over Rotterdam could never really be confused with Starry Night. Not even Munch’s Starry Night (1893) could be confused for VanGogh. The two paintings are wildly different in subject matter despite the fact that their subject is the night sky.

I doubt any modern painter would dare. O’Keefe called hers Starlight Night, and I can only guess that others would follow that naming pattern of not quite using the title Starry Night.

Boy, I bet @curiouselfqueen is regretting tagging me now... sorry?

[dracoqueen22]

[CR] A Fine Kettle

Title: A Fine Kettle Universe: Critical Role, Campaign Two, Alternate Universe Characters: Caduceus Clay/Caleb Widogast Rated: K+ Description: Of all the things Caduceus expected out of his new purchase from the antique store, a djinn appearing in a swirl of steam never even made the list.

For @claylebweek, Day 6, Alternate Universes

Caduceus Clay had need of a kettle. Just this morning, his own had come to ruin, the handle breaking off, the insides rusting as if by some magical means. He’d been forced to microwave water for his tea and that won’t do at all. It couldn’t be just any kettle. Caduceus had no need for the fancy ones they sell in stores nowadays. He appreciated more traditional designs. He knew he would have to go to an antique store.

It took him a day of scouring all of the local shops, and he was nearing closing time in the sixth shop when he spotted it. Elegant. Metal in definite need of polishing, but images and an unfamiliar language in relief along the sides. It had a wide spout, and the handle was wood. It called to Caduceus, and he knew with a smile, this was to be his new kettle. It faintly hummed to his fingers as he traced the upraised design. He got it for a steal. “Been on the shelf for ages,” the shop’s proprietor told him. “Couldn’t bring myself to be rid of it, but couldn’t seem to sell it either. Glad it’s finally found a home.” “Does it have a story?” Caduceus asked. “Oh, everything does, but this one.” The shopkeeper stroked his bushy beard and looked heavenward, contemplating deeply. “It had a story once, but I’ll be damned if I can remember it. Guess it’s up to you to give it a new one.” Caduceus smiled and thanked the man, and came home with his new kettle. It really was lovely. He couldn’t wait to brew his first cup of tea. First, however, it needed to be cleaned. So he scrubbed and polished, taking his time with all of the engravings, until the swirls gleamed back at him. Fire, Caduceus thought, the designs on the metal reminded him of fire. How appropriate for a kettle. He filled it with water and set it on the stove to boil while he perused his teas, trying to decide what would make for the perfect, first cup. Something to welcome the kettle to his household. Hmm. A new mix perhaps. He pulled down his jars and scooped a little bit of this and that into the strainer. A pinch of apricot, a scoop of hibiscus, some orange peels, a dash of honeysuckle, and a little bit of licorice root for an interesting twist. Yes. That sounded nice. The kettle whistled. Caduceus hummed and plucked it off the range. He paused, however, tilting his head. Was it his imagination or had the etchings started to glow? The range wasn’t nearly hot enough to overheat the metal, which was itself too sturdy to catch flame. Perhaps it was a special design, like glow in the dark paint, but of course it wasn’t paint nor glow in the dark, but the association seemed apt enough. There was no spell of burning. The kettle was safe enough, Caduceus supposed. He poured the hot water over his tea, steam rising from the cup in lazy swirls that thickened and thickened, until it looked more like smoke than steam. It smelled faintly phosphorus and sulfuric and a bit like volcanic ash. Caduceus blinked and stepped back, kettle still in hand. There was now a man in his kitchen. Or, almost a man. He was human in appearance, average in height, fair-skinned, ginger-haired, dressed in simple, if not tattered robes. Flames licked along his bare feet, briefly scorching Caduceus’ kitchen tile before they dispersed. “Um,” Caduceus said, still holding the kettle which yes, seemed to give off a magical hum now that he thought about it. “Hello?” The man’s eyes opened -- blue, they were very blue -- and he looked at Caduceus with a sort of quiet resignation. “Hello,” he said, his voice thick. Accented. Caduceus didn’t know enough to place it. “I am Caleb Widogast. I am the djinn of the kettle. I am here to grant you three wishes.” “Wishes?” Caduceus echoed. “What sort of wishes?” He thought djinns were bound to lamps, not kettles. “Any wish you might have,” Caleb Widogast said, though his tone was very bland, very uninterested, very sad. “Only, I cannot bring someone back from the dead, make them fall in love with you, and you can’t ask for more wishes.” Caduceus put down the kettle. “Well, people who are dead should stay dead, if you ask me, and I don’t want anyone who isn’t in love with me in the first place.” He tilted his head. “I barely know what to do with three wishes. I don’t need more.” Those blue eyes finally looked up at him. “What is your first wish?” “Hmm.” Caduceus went and fetched another cup while the djinn’s gaze followed him. “I don’t think I have one. I mean, I’m pretty happy as I am. I have a job and a home and friends. I used to need a kettle, but then I found yours, so I’m set.” It had never occurred to him to wish for things. If there was anything he wanted, he sought to retrieve it on his own, or asked the Wildmother if it was to be his. Caduceus had a rather content life, all things considered. “I can grant you untold riches. I can make you famous. I can give you a bigger home,” Caleb suggested. Caduceus returned with a cup and another mix of tea, and poured hot water over it as well. “I don’t want riches, and I really don’t want to be famous, and my home is the perfect size for me.” He put the kettle back on the stove. “Are you thirsty? You look thirsty. Have some tea.” Caleb Widogast squinted at him, glanced at the cup, then looked at Caduceus again. “Is that your wish?” “Do I have to wish for it to let you drink some tea?” “... No.” “Then I guess it’s not my wish. Have some tea if you want. It’s good. I grew it myself.” Caduceus beamed a smile at the djinn, hoping to put him at ease. He wondered how long Caleb had been trapped in that kettle, waiting to be released, while knowing his freedom would be temporary. It must have been lonely. Caleb frowned, but he finally moved, giving the tea a tentative sip. “You grew it?” “Here in my garden.” Caduceus tilted his head and subtly whispered a few prayers to Melora, relieved when he detected nothing Undead, and when the kettle indeed glowed the fierce blue of something magical. He wasn’t hallucinating. That was a relief. “You really have no wish?” Caleb asked. “Well, I didn’t say that. I just said I don’t have a wish right now,” Caduceus said. “I have everything I need.” He paused and reconsidered. “Well, maybe that’s not exactly true. But the thing I don’t have, is something I need to earn. It wouldn't feel right if it was just given to me.” Caleb’s shoulders hunched, but he kept sipping at the tea. “Are you hungry?” Caduceus asked, because he was thin himself, but Caleb looked starved, like he hadn’t had a good meal in centuries. He rose from his chair. “I’ll cook something,” Caduceus said before Caleb answered. “I hope you don’t mind. I don’t eat meat, but you’ll be amazed what I can do with some mushrooms.” Caleb shook himself as if he were coming out of a dream. The cup clattered back onto the saucer. “I should be granting you wishes,” he said, eyeing the kettle on the stovetop before chasing after Caduceus. “Please let me do the job, sir.” “Clay,” Caduceus corrected. “Caduceus Clay is my name. And it’s nice to meet you. Peppers okay?” “Ja, I eat peppers,” Caleb answered, as if on automatic, and blinked at him. “No, no. It doesn’t matter. What would you like to wish for, Mr. Clay?” Caduceus pulled down a pan and drizzled olive oil liberally along the inside. “Do I have to make a wish?” he asked and gestured to the fridge. “Would you grab the lemon juice, please?” Caleb blinked, but he obeyed, searching the shelves before producing the bottle. “I… suppose you don’t have to make a wish. I don’t know what happens if you don’t.” He frowned, forehead furrowing into deep lines. “It’s never happened before.” “There’s a first time for everything,” Caduceus said, and tilted his head, tasting the idiom again. “Which is quite true, isn’t it? Something has to happen once for it to happen again. Isn’t language interesting?” Caleb stared at him. “You are very odd, Mr. Clay.” “It’s not the first time I’ve heard that,” Caduceus said with a grin. “But if I had to make a wish. Hmmm.” He tapped his bottom lip as he waited for the pan to heat. “What would you ask for, Mr. Caleb?” The djinn reared back as if Caduceus had struck him. He went ghost-white, and his hands fisted, his gaze shunting away. “That is a cruel question to ask. I am in the business of granting wishes, not making them.” “Never?” Caduceus asked. “That is my punishment,” Caleb said. “One I richly deserve. So please, Mr. Clay, do not grant me any kindnesses. Make your wishes so I can go back to my kettle.” Funny enough, he didn’t so much sound like he wanted to go back to the kettle, but that he felt he ought to. All the more reason not to let him, Caduceus thought. He wasn’t much a fan of leaving people to their loneliness, and he suspected there was more to this story. Curiosity had always been a fault of his, Clarabelle said, and maybe it was a fault now, but Caduceus couldn’t let the mystery lie. He wanted to know more about the djinn who lived in a kettle, rather than in a lamp, and wore his misery around him like a cloak. The pan was warm enough, so Caduceus gradually added sliced vegetables to it, stirring in mushrooms, carrots, broccoli, and more. “I think a simple stir fry will be nice,” Caduceus said with a hum. “You shouldn’t eat anything too heavy if you haven’t eaten in a while. This’ll be a nice way to get you on your feet.” The djinn made a frustrated sound. “Did you not hear me?” Caduceus swirled a bit of soy sauce over the vegetables before he covered it with a lid and went in search of his rice cooker. “I think that you are already sorry for whatever it was you did, Mr. Caleb. So there’s nothing wrong with offering you some kindness.” “I… I am not here for kindness,” Caleb said, and he exhaled loudly, slumping back into his seat. “I am here to grant wishes, but you don’t have any, so I… I don’t know why I am here.” Caduceus measured water and rice in the appropriate measures, setting up the cooker to make a perfect batch. He could do it the long way, but sometimes, it was nice to not have to. “You are going to have dinner, and then after, I think I have some cookies for dessert,” Caduceus said, because it seemed the simplest thing to do. “You don’t have to go back in the kettle if you don’t want.” Blue eyes stared at him, at once bleak and resigned and confused and perhaps far, far in their depths, a bit comforted. It was important to be a good host, Caduceus thought. And if he didn’t have any wishes now, he’d rather help Caleb Widogast be comfortable while he waited. Caduceus didn’t know much about djinn and wishes and magical kettles. They were far outside his realm of expertise, but Melora seemed to think everything was all right, and Caduceus trusted Her judgment far more than anyone else’s. “I don’t know what to say,” Caleb said, and he sounded impossibly lost. Caduceus gave him a smile. “Thank you is a good start,” he said, and brought over another bundle of tea to make a new cup. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Caleb.” The djinn looked up at him as if he couldn’t believe Caduceus was a real person, his eyes wide, and magic swirling around him anxious eddies. “I… it’s nice to meet you, too, Mr. Clay. Thank you for your hospitality.” “It’s my pleasure.” Caduceus’ insides flushed with warmth. The company would be nice, and at least Clarabelle couldn’t tell him he was lonely anymore. “More tea?”

***

Comments and Reblogs and Tag commentary are all welcome! 

[lunerbean]

Witch Tips 19

Here are my latest #10tips tips from my witch tips series! If you want to see the previous posts, check out the #10tips tag on my blog. If you'd like to see future posts, please follow for more!

1. Here's a grounding meditation

Grounding is a very important practice in witchcraft. And not only that, it can help relieve stress, calm anxiety, and help you stop disassociating. This can be done on its own, or with the aid of crystals. It can be done anywhere, at any time, or you can cast a circle first. Here's what you do:

Find a place to sit down. It doesn't have to be a quite place, in fact it's better if theres a little noise when you do this. Sit on the ground with your back against a wall, a boulder, a tree, etc. Just something that will give you support. Close your eyes and practice deep, slow breaths. Inhale and exhale. As you do so, feel the air going into your lungs, and out of your nose. Focus on how it tickles or how cold it is. Feel it fill up your lungs and then escape them. Next, focus on the noises you hear. Take note of the wind, or the cars, or the voices. Maybe there are animals nearby, or maybe it's raining outside. Take note of them, but do not fear them. A witch is more powerful than the things around them. Feel your back, pressed up again whatever you may be leaning on. Feel your bottom on the ground. Your hands, wherever they may be. Take another deep breath and open your eyes. You are grounded. You are connected.

2. Name succulents after your desires to nurture them.

This is a sweet little bit of green witchcraft. Simply get some succulents, or really any potted plants will do, and name them after things you want to nurture in your life. Happiness, love, prosperity, etc are some great options. Everytime you care for the plant, you're caring for that piece of your life.

3. Customize spells to better connect with them

Now, you really must be careful with this one. Changing certain ingredients can change the result of a spell. For example, you probably shouldn't use a banishing candle when trying to invoke something. However, every spell can be altered to better fit the witches needs. You may feel that a shower spell would be better for you in the rain than in the shower. That's perfectly fine! Or perhaps you'd rather not use a certain ingredient because you're vegan or you're allergic to it. By all means, find alternatives! You can even swap out certain crystals with similar properties if you connect better with one over the other (or if you don't have any of the first type) don't be afraid to change it up!

4. A simple spell for when you feel an anxiety attack coming on

Spells like this have to be simple. You don't have time to grab candles or crystals or even cast a circle. Simply sit where you are, and follow these steps.

Inhale slowly before each line, exhale as you say the words:

"I am full of peace, I am relaxed.

I am impervious to anxiety attacks.

Everything is going just fine.

I am in control, my mood is mine.

My mind is still,

This is my will."

Repeat as necessary.

Don't worry if you get the words out before you finish exhaling, you can simple finish the line and then let the rest of the air flow out slowly before inhaling again.

Sidenote: this is technically a montra, not a spell per say, but I prefer to call it a spell. Idk that's just me.

5. You can make your own incense burners

Store bought is fine, but why not be thrifty? Plus, you can make one out of damn near anything. Here's a cute and simple way to make your own:

Start with some sort of open container. It can be a bowl, a Mason jar, a soap dish, an old butter container, anything works. It's best to figure out which type of incense you prefer to use, cones or sticks? That will determine the depth and length needed for your holder. Make sure it's deep enough for a stick to stand up in and long enough to catch the ashes.

Next, choose your filling. You can use coarse salt, rice, river rocks, aquarium rocks, anything you want that's small and plentiful.

Customize the container with paints or Clay or anything you can imagine.

And you're done! That's it. Let's get creative!

6. You can use pill containers to store herbs and other things

You know those 7 day pill organizers? Yeah, those. You can use those to store small amounts of herbs. Whether you're running low on one and want to use the bigger container for something else, or you just want to have more storage space, pill containers are great. Take them on trips when you don't want to bring your own cabinet, but you still want to do witchcraft.

7. You can also use single pill containers in place of sachets

I've seen some super cute one-dose pill containers out there. You can use them in place of sachets! Simply get tiny crystals, a small amount of herbs, and whatever else you need, and put them in the container. Then you can stick the container anywhere! Great for broom closet witches or anyone who just likes to use spell bags that are a bit more hardy.

8. Make spell ornaments for your tree

I know it's 11 months away from the holiday season when I'm writing this, but listen. This post will very likely still exist next December and I want you to be prepared, okay? Plus, there is literally no law in the world preventing you from putting ornaments on trees in your yard or potted plants in your house all year around. It's not illegal and it's super cute.

Get one of those clear bobbles that they sell around the holiday season that are meant for you to fill them with things. Then fill it with herbs, crystals if they'll fit, some drops of essential oils, ribbons with colors corresponding to your intent. Anything you want. Seal it with magick and then seal the bobble. Stick it on a tree and you're good to go!

9. A miniature cauldron can have many uses

These tiny little cauldrons can be found in witch shops, in Spencer's Gifts, and even in Target (around halloween) and I'm sure there are loads of other places as well, so keep an eye out. It should be made from a good material, iron, pewter, some kind of metal.

You can place these on your altar or in your workspace. They can be used for incense cones, single dose potions, herb mixing, as candle holders, for hiding items, storage for matches, and endless other things you may want to use them for!

10. Your energy may not be compatible with another witches, and that's okay!

This is something that used to really worry me. I've met many witches since I began the practice, and a few times I've gotten weird feelings from them. They weren't necessarily bad feelings, but my anxiety would interpret it that way. I would get worried that they had bad intentions or that they hated me. In reality, our energies just didn't connect well. It's pretty normal. In fact, it can happen with anyone, not just witches. You may feel it more strongly around those who are more in tune with their own energies, which is why you may feel weird around other witches sometimes. Don't worry. For every witch you don't connect with, there are probably dozens that you will feel great around! Don't pressure yourself to hang out with people you don't vibe with, just because you have similar interests or beliefs. It's going to be fine.

Thanks so much for reading my latest witch tips! I appreciate it so much! If you have any questions or just want to say hi, please feel free to send an ask my way anytime.

Have a magickal day!

[thefinalyeehaw]

Ballad of Dell Jennings (Rdr2 fanfic) Prologue pt. 2

Part 2: Dell Jennings, Horse thief

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horse thievery became Dell’s main staple. She had a natural talent for horses, the broncos were calmer and trusting in the presence of the young girl. Because of this ability, Dell becomes an expert in luring even the most headstrong horses from the hitching posts of local saloons without alerting the riders or patrons of the crime. Then afterward she sold the fillies to Mr. Larson, the dubious owner of the neighboring town’s stables, who never batted an eye when Dell always rode in on the horse she planned to sell him.

She knew stealing horses was the equivalent to murder, especially out in the West, where equines was a person’s livelihood. Guilt would probably eat at her if her intended targets weren’t well-to-do businessmen whose pockets could afford another pony.

The money Dell stole from her “guide” was dwindling fast, she spent a large amount when visiting the Creedstad general store, prior to the theft of Jolie, for supplies after an appointment with the sneering tailor to fit the clothes stolen from the unguarded suitcase of a male train passenger. She was in dire need for a big score and soon, her tinned ration supply receding at an alerting rate.

“Ya wanna make serious bank?” Mr. Larson asks one foggy morning, leaning against the wooden gate of the stall as Dell brushed the slightly tangled mane of a Dutch Warmblood. Sometimes Dell worked at the stables when she needed to lay low until the law of a neighboring town stop sniffing around for a horse thief to string up.

“What do you mean, sir?” She knew to be wary about any job suggestion the stable owner gave her. Mr. Larson, a hefty Midwestern man with a thinning scalp of caramel hair, steely-eyed, with a bear-like rumble of a voice, is a notorious swindler who uses down-on-their-luck schmucks to do his dirty work and then, is not afraid to finger them for the blame.

“Ya know, a gig, one that could fill up ya pockets handsomely,” Though facing away from the man, she could tell the stable owner was becoming slightly annoyed by Dell’s oblivious attitude, the man had a rigid no-bullshit policy.

“Oh! What is it then?” Dell always enjoys playing the role of a fool, everyone underestimates her cleverness because of her age and impoverished appearance. And never fail to be flabbergasted when realizing they have been hoodwinked, cursing the young thief’s name in the wind as she rides into the next town with a heavier satchel and a sly grin plastered on her face.

“I’m glad you asked, Mr. Jennings,” Mr. Larson said in a sing-song voice that made Dell suppress a cringe at the Mr. It became apparent early for Dell, many people believed she was a boy. A belief only made truer by her lanky shapeless figure that swam in dark billowing shirts, often hung off her narrow shoulders, despite it buttoned up to her sternum. The cuffs of her oil-ruined pants rested high above her ankle, the ill-fit hem was cinched tightly to her amorphous hips by a well-worn belt. And her hair, pixie-cut mop of auburn locks, often hidden underneath a tan Stetson hat, Dell stole from a drunken man asleep at the bar of the saloon she was scoping out. To everyone else, Dell looked to be a young orphaned boy, too tall and lithe for his clothes and filthy from the backroads the forgotten must survive on.

A few months earlier, she definitely had been offended by Mr. Larson’s assumption of gender, but now Dell knew it was a blessing, the young thief learn quickly it was better to be a wayward boy in the West, then a wayward girl.

“Ever heard a Hoagy Macintosh?”

Snapped out of her thoughts, Dell shook her head “No. Who’s that?”

Mr. Larson let out a heavy sigh behind her, grumbling underneath his smoky breath about clueless brats. Ignoring the miffed owner, Dell finished brushing the horse’s mare, she admires dark silky hair as the strands seemed to glow in the dim lighting of the stable. The glow of the horse’s mane reminded her of a simpler time in her past, she often forced herself to not think upon it, for it was just too painful to recall. As she returns once again to the present, Dell noticed Mr. Larson began explains further “Hoagy Macintosh is a wealthy doctor from New England, comes a long line of well-respected physicians-”

“What does this have to do with the job?” She turned to the man, irritated. He was beating around the bush, she could tell. Usually, Mr. Larson was very straightforward with his demands and bargaining, so this was unknown for Dell, it terrified her.

“If ya didn’t interrupt, brat, I would have gotten to the goddam’ point!” Mr. Larson growled, annoyance flashing on his aged face before returning to the man’s regular scowl “Long story short, he’s in town and owns me some money from a poker game a few years back.”

Now, was that so hard to say? “Okay. How does this involve me?” Dell responds, watching as another stablehand, whose name Dell could never place, slip past her to grab the reigns of Dutch Warmblood. The stable hand guided the snorting bronco around the two and outside to the fenced-in field for grazing.

When Dell glanced back at Mr. Larson, a sense of dread filled her belly as the stable owner grinned wolfly at her, showing off his missing front tooth “I want ya to steal the bastard’s horse.”

* * *

The sense of dread never left her.

Not even after she delivered the silver Turkoman to the grasp of Mr. Larson, grinning crazily like a man who lost his mind. “Thank ya for ya service, Mr. Jennings!” The man celebrated, clapping Dell in the back with a level of force that would send an unbalanced person to the ground. “...All in a day’s work, Mr. Larson” She wheezed out, her lungs heaved from nearly having the air knocked out “So where’s my payment?”.

Mr. Larson simply waved her over, telling the young thief to come back in a week and a half, claiming that once the horse is sold, she will be paid.

Irate, Dell stormed out of the stables. She wasn’t too pleased about waiting for the couple of weeks to get paid, people typically pay her once the horse is in their possession. Money was already tight of her, food was scarce back at her campsite, there was only a three-days worth of canned goods which mean she is going to go hungry before getting paid by Mr. Larson. She groaned aloud, rubbing a hand across her face, disgusted at the filth that appeared on her glove. Wishing deeply that she had the money to take a nice soak at the town’s hotel, guess she could wash up in the river, even though it was running with the melted snow from winter as the season of spring quickly approached. She grimaced at the thought of the frigid water kissing her bare skin, deciding that it was better to wait the week and a half than take her chances with hypothermia.

Dell strolled down the dirt road towards the town of Underwell, a tiny mining town known for its abundance of coal in the surrounding mountainside and its vast criminal underground. Though the town does not seem like a community of thieves, liars, and gunslingers with the freshly-painted houses, clean roads, quiet shops, and kind-looking people. But once the sun slips past the mountains, that when the low-lifes come out.

The sun hangs high in the clear blue sky, signaling noontime. Dell made her way towards the saloon, she has visited the bar to drink after the death of Jolie but got refused by an older barmaid, scolding the youth “Come back when there’s sum hair on ya chest”. Jolie, her late mare got bit by a rattlesnake while the two stroll through some tall grass, Dell tried to get the bronco to Mr. Larson get aid. The Midwestern man directed the distraught thief up to his office, distracting the youth with details of his new gramophone as a nameless stable-hand led the stumbling Turkoman behind the stable. Dell appreciates Mr. Larson turning up the gramophone in his office, muting the gunshot underneath the second-floor window.

Dell snapped out of her thoughts when she noticed a flash of white in the corner of her eye, she grinned as she caught sight of her prize from the theft. At the hitching post stood the white Arabian owned by one Hoagy Macintosh. When she went to steal the horse, she became intrigued by the powerful grace of the snow-colored stallion, deciding at the moment to steal the horse for her personal use. To swindle Mr. Larson, she decided to grab the horse next to the stallion, the silver Turkoman that is residing in his stable.

The young Arabian noticed the young thief’s arrival and announced his annoyance, stomping an impatient hoof upon the ground, stirring up puffs of dust. Dell rolled her eyes at the act, the stallion was barely out of his time of being a foal, so she knew the horse was yet to be trained.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. You hate waiting, boy,” Reaching out to stroke the abrasive equine’s colorless mane, the stallion relaxed underneath the girl’s hand, leaning closer into her palm. Dell smiled softly, untangling her hand from the horse’s silky hair, she proceeded to climb onto the stallion, with much difficulty. The equine was unusually tall for an Arabian horse, at least a good hand or two taller than average. And Dell’s atypical height didn’t help her struggle with climbing on top of the horse, luckily the Arabian stay still as the girl managed to swing her leg over the stallion’s wide back, securing her boot in the other stir-up.

“Come on, boy, let’s go,” She said, pulling the stallion into a trot down the main road as they entered the outskirts of Underwell.

“Fucking asshole!” Dell cried out.

Early in the day, she returned to the Underwell stables a week-and-a-half later, to collect her payment. “I haven’t sold the horse yet,” Mr. Larson called out from his second-floor office as the young thief entered the stable. Dell blinked for a moment, then her confusion morph to anger “What? You told me that I would be paid in a week and a half. It’s been a week and a half! Where’s my money?” Her voice bounced off the wood walls of the stable, startling a few of the horses in nearby stalls. Dell knew better than to cause a public scene, but she was too livid by Mr. Larson’s deception to care.

Mr. Larson, unfazed by the youth’s outburst, clambered down the wood stairs that groaned underneath the weight of the burly man “I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Jennings,” The man said, tilting his balding head down in mocking guilt, Dell fought the urge to knock out his remaining front tooth as the stable owner approached her. “Ya see, the fella I was intending to sell the Turkoman to, never showed. So I have been scrambling to find a new buyer, unfortunately, I hadn’t got much luck” Dell huffed, scrubbing her face with her hand. She was nearly out of money, despite taking on a couple of horse stealing jobs, to provide some food for herself and her new horse. But it still wasn’t enough, and now the law slowly closing in on her after a botched theft in a few towns over, she needed to leave town soon with cash in her pockets.

“How long you do need?”

“Another week.” Mr. Larson quickly added when Dell shot the owner a dumbfounded expression “An old buddy of mine coming to town, he owns land in Michigan, he’ll take the horse off my hands for the same price I gave the other fella.” Mr. Larson then stuck out a paw-like hand in front of the conflicted horse thief “Do we have a deal, Mr. Jennings?” Dell stared down at the hand as if she had never seen one before. Knowing this was probably of Mr. Larson’s scams to sell her out to the law, in order to keep the cash, and by shaking the man’s hand, she might as well sign her death certificate too. But money was scarce, she desperately needs the profits from the Turkoman sale to keep her afloat, at least until she reaches the next county.

Throwing all caution to the wind, Dell reached out and shook the meaty palm.

“You have a deal, Mr. Larson.”

[perkoform]

SKITS

Title:

The WHOLE-SALE

Characters:

Shipping God

Middle Man

Customer

Plot:

Okay so middle man is on the phone to shipping God the whole time. Customer is trying to buy a beauty product that makes you look EXACTLY like Grace Kelly, through this shipping company. But middle man keeps refusing.  It is one act.

*note on recitation: watch youtube video called: Zuikin Girls – take anything you want! For tonal value.

Dialogue:

Shipping god: we can’t sell that. Tell her that.

Middle man: I’m sorry ma’am we can’t sell you that product today.

Customer: come on, I have the money. (Pause). Trust me sir, I know about the side effect, how it makes you look EXACTLY like Grace Kelly.

Middle man: (turns away from customer) she says she has the money and that she knows about the side effect, what do I say.

Shipping God: don’t tell her anything. Say we do not sell this product.

Middle Man: I’m sorry ma’am we do not sell this product, you will have to try somewhere else.

Customer: (to audience) contrary to popular cinematic convention, (whips out giant gun) I’m not going to whip out a giant gun and threaten the guy, because I can’t get what I want. (throws gun over shoulder)

Customer: it’s a beauty product! I mean, can’t I for a moment take my own health into my own hands…?! (scoff)

Shipping God: tell her, it’s her health.

Middle Man: it’s your health, ma’am.

Everyone laughs

*Someone holds up a sign to the audience that says, ‘LATERS, ON…’

On stage is a girl with her hair in a towel, wearing a GRACE KELLY mask.

    Title:

I ordered ‘The Rest of Eternity’ Online

Characters:

Shipping God

Customer

DIALOGUE: Customer: hi, I ordered ‘someone else’s life to live’ the other day from your company, but some part of the product was still a drag to experience, and I’d like my money back please.

Shipping God: I’m sorry sir, there must have been some kind of mistake. I would like to inform you that we have just received a new shipment of, ‘Krishna’s Own’ Good Karma, ‘Corrupt Cops’, ‘Colonial Values’ and ‘The Original Scapegoat’ that comes in ‘the body and the blood red’,‘Twin Towers were an inside job grey’, and ‘the dingo stole my baby blue’. The blue one comes with an ‘assumption’, on the house. Would you like to try one of these products today sir?

Customer: Why thank-you, I might try ‘Corrupt Cops’. Do you still stock Solipsism? Yes? Thank-you, I’d like to order 22 of this product if that’s possible.

Shipping God: Okay sir, the items will be shipped out just in time for the next mention of a social revolution.

Customer: tank-you.

             Title:

The Punch-Up: Season 1

Characters:

Fred

Jim

(played by women)

Plot:

Fred and Jim are having a rational conversation about how they do not get along at the moment and about how they used to be friends.

*NOTE: Jim and Fred both wear one boxing glove each. Fred is holding a beer can the whole time. Jim is holding tongs and wearing an apron.

Dialogue:

Fred: oh my god I hate youuuuuuu…(said like, hi how are you?)

*throws a punch

Jim: you have no idea (said like, its been a while how are you? Using fake smiles.)

*throws a punch

Fred: I’m going to kill you over that incident with my wife.

*punching each other

Jim: haven’t you heard of polyamory, maybe you should branch out and actually live a little.

*remove their punching gloves and stop punching

Fred: you know…you make a good point. I actually can’t fight you there…I agree, but you see I’m channelling Barbara, (turns to crowd and says, ‘she’s my wife’) and she needs me to be jealous, so you are gonna fuckin’ pay for what you did. I am pissed.

*put gloves back on and start punching again

Jim: tell her I’d knock her up, that’ll do it. .  

*cease punching for a moment, jim and fred grab each other by the shoulders and say

Fred: we should all just have kids withal the wimmin. Leave no womin unimpregnated. 24/7.

Jim: yeah, what kind of society is this? What are we even doing here, I mean why isn’t 24/7 baby making like, the norm??

*resumes punching. Jim continues punching as Fred stops to contemplate

Fred: I’m gonna try and answer that. Perhaps it’s just not the right time in earth’s geological cycle to support that kind of reproduction, the food plants are not growing enough. They are sending us an internal, instinctual message that this is kind of life is not supportable at the moment.

Fred continues punching as Jim states

Jim: very logical, I think that’s the reason. So again, why do you hate me? Because Barbara needed you to be jealous so that she feels valued?

*fight stops for a second

Fred: I’m not the type to say to her, ‘but hey Barbara, you scored me and Jim!’

- maybe I should say to her, ‘you’re an individual’, that wouldn’t go down that well, maybe ‘you’re special, there’s only one of you’.

Jim: try saying, ‘you suit me uniquely’

Laughter from Fred and Jim

*resume punching. They punch for a while. Jim goes down cold, Fred states

Fred: it’s just like I don’t even know, there’s no one like her or anyone for that matter. Even twins are different. So like, I can’t value her anymore at the moment.

*Jim is lying on the ground, he states

Jim: I get it you have to like, show her that you value her, without getting into a brawl, show her that jealousy is not the answer! Free love is the answer!

Fred: I don’t know how that’s possible, all reason aside.

Jim: okay Fred, okay.

 PROPS:

Boxing gloves

A moustache (for Fred)

Face paint (to paint a beard on Jim)

Beer can

Tongs

Misogynistic apron

*note must be wearing wife beaters and short shorts

    Title:

Get A Way With It

CHARACTERS:

Jimmy

God

PLOT:

*Jimmy is reciting the following text, while doing the following things:

 Jimmy shoots Satan

Jimmy shoots God

Jimmy dowsing the Great Barrier reef with bleach.

Jimmy cuts down the oldest tree known to man.

Jimmy dressed as Captain Cook, shooting Aborigines

Jimmy dressed as Bob Marley, shooting the sheriff.

A baby born doll with giant lollipop. Jimmy steals the lollipop.

Jimmy is wearing a shirt that says, ‘Get-a-way-with-it’

 DIALOGUE:

*Jimmy smokes a bong.

God: And so it was told, (Jimmy shoots Satan)

Jimmy: (said with an efficient air) Shit in one hand, wish in the other and see which one gets full quickest. (shoots God)

This is what my mother used to say. (Shoots aborigine)

Because everyone knows that if you can get away with it, (bleaches the reef)

it’s legal. Because, well, it happened. (steals candy from baby) No one stopped you right?

and so, It. Is. legal. (licks the lollipop, then throws it away)

So, aim for the heart, stab once, and tell ‘em, down the street. Because (shoots the Sheriff)

you only get one chance, and if you fuck it up, it’s your head on the chopping block. (cuts down the tree)

 PROPS:

Hitler moustache

Bandana (for aborigine)

Face paint – black and white

boomerang

Fork and horns

Toga and beard

Captain cook hat

A map

20 Litre storage container/round fish tank with coral statue in it. (to label with a sign that says ‘the great barrier reef’)

Bottle of bleach

A bong

Baby born doll

Giant carnival lollipop

Dreadlock wig

Sheriff badge

Potato gun

Potato

Cardboard cut-out of a tree

A saw

A t-shirt

Black marker

          Title:

Poignant Sculptural representations #1: The Winning Diorama at the Primary School Fete

Plot:

20 litre storage container full of black water with a layer of dirt and astro-turf stuck to the lid. Jimmy sticks a pump in the turf and pumps out the “oil” into a jerry can, by sucking on the pipe. Meanwhile, an automated voice reads out geological facts about oil and its lifespan and how it’s the nutrients for the forests of the future.  (in a really poignant way.)

Title:

Poignant Sculptural Representation #2: The Prospective Sculpture

Plot:

On a table is 30kg of clay with a scroll in a canister, hidden inside. Participants have 5minute to search through the clay for the canister with the scroll inside. If they find the scroll they get a free beer. This will be on stage by the way, in the interval.

              Title:

Track Marks and Pigeonholes

Characters:

‘Main Character’

‘Other people’

Plot:

*this is a video work

‘Main character’ is not a heroin addict.

‘Other people’ believe that ‘main character’ is a heroin addict. ‘Other people’ won’t stop treating ‘main character’ like a heroin addict.

‘Other people’ are constantly trying to catch ‘main character’ in “the act” of taking heroin but ‘main character’ actually never takes heroin so they will never catch them.

‘Other people’ cry and wail and state “when do you do it, I know that you do!” and grab him by the arm, to check for track marks.

‘Main character’ always begs ‘other people’ to believe that “I don’t do that, seriously. I don’t know what else to say.”

SCENARIOS:

‘other people’ bust in on ‘main character’ and accuse him of taking heroin:

-          On the toilet

-          In the shower

-          In bed asleep

-          At the corner store at 11pm

-          Driving

-          Praying in an empty church

-          Helping an old lady across the street

-          While watching television, the people on the television are accusing him.

-          Running from crazed fan grrls.

-          In china from inside a bowl of rice.

-          After he drops a hanky and a crowd swamp him ‘Perfume-style’. He blurts out over the top of the crowd, I don’t take heroin!

Haha

 *ALSO:

Idea: Making Mighty Boosh Into a SERIOUS DRAMA about father-son bonding psychology

Title:

Initially Undetected

Story:

“You’re Not allowed to Draw Me While I’m Raping you emotionally with This Other Girl,” he said, sounding a bit annoyed. “it totally ruins the point.” He got up and pulled out his dick, no no, he pulled it out then got up and walked over to me. He grabbed the computer I was using to draw him with (on paint) and clipped me in the head, with the computer. I went down cold, hah hah. Funny story.

 Title:

Last in Winning Backwards #1

Plot:

A girl wakes up in her backyard one morning. She is lying on her back on the grass. She thinks, “it’s a beautiful day, I might go for a walk”. She goes for a walk in the park. As she’s walking she contemplates life. The end.

Dialogue:

*Birds twitter. The sun is shining.

Girl: hmm I think I might go for a walk.

*Cut to park. Girl is walking

Girl: I think that I might believe today that I was born along time ago. And it was before anyone I know in this life were ever alive. I had decided shortly after I was born that, I would never fuck and live forever. So I guess it makes sense that larger society marginalise me. I ignore it when they marginalise anyone else, really it’s just me. The point being, for the third time, they marginalise people. They hate. They are murderers. They don’t get shit. They don’t honestly do it with the same vengeance to everyone else, and and, hell is hierarchical. Not heaven. So I’m the top dog around here. Do you get shit? Hah hah respiratory I fucking will wake up in this bed cunt tomorrow morning. You will NOT get me out of bed, CUNT.

[somebodyeeee]

I think one of the greatest weaknests for artists or people who dabble in art even, is the fucking art stores.

Ya'll have your target or dollar store shopping sprees but let me tell you

Where I am, there is only one sole arts store chain that I know of that sells and controls most of the art supplies, in terms of brand, tools and varities of arts supplies for all kinds of art. Its called 'Art Friends'.

You want oil paint? Boom, Art Friends

You want this brand of a certain type of gold paint? Boom, Art Friends

You want a humongous ass canvas twice your size? You guessed it, FUCKING ART FRIENDS.

The closests one I go to is about ten train stops away from my nearest train station, so I make trips there once every few months. I make like a mental list and budget like "Okay, we're just going to get marker refills and paper, alright? Alright."

But by the time I go there and come out of the store, I would've called my ma to help me pay for the 15-20 plus stuff I decided I "needed" or "wanted to experiment with" and I'm out with like a big ass plastic bag like the unenvironmentally friendly cunt I am, full of supplies that I would never open months down the road.

And I can safely say, its the same for every artists out there, cause art supplies is our addiction

[killifish]

*Trigger warning, suicidal ideation* A hand clamped down, soft fingers that had not seen work in decades, stroking back and forth on the palm of her hand. “Don’t leave, please..I don’t want to be alone” Killian’s eyes glanced up, her head unmoving from the position that situated her eyes directly at her feet. “You know I can’t stay, the store will open soon..it’s a Sunday, if I’m not there by 11..I’ll be trying to catch up all day.” The lies had become easier to tell, better than upsetting her, she thought. Sokolov’s books and baubles had stalled, it was more than likely an unopened store would go unnoticed by the bustling streets of crescent city. The store had been annika’s dream, just before the news of a child came. Neither parent had expected to be a parent at all, and so years later when the store finally rose from the ashes of a life that is focused on a child, it had become the cliche little witch shop on the corner of Main Street. A place where tourists stopped to buy a palm reading, perhaps a small bottle of essential oil or that quirky crystal set that remained permanently on sale. Keelie couldn’t complain too much, the shop kept her fed, clothed and housed in a world that was not always kind to people who were different. Her father ensured that security, and she would be grateful for it when the money was null at the end of the month, a more common occurrence than she’d ever admit. Perhaps the people who did visit made her life more monotonous, but she’d forgive the inconvenience because the hidden nooks of that place had been her sanctuary city for as long as she could remember. A small safe haven, in a world too chaotic for her mind. The thought shook her, head slowly rising to look at her mother whos predisposed sadness radiated. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back in a few days, momma..I’m going to meet with some new vendors soon, hopefully selling more herbs will mean I can start our savings back up!” Her voice knotted, contorting to reassure her only living parent that the one family heirloom left behind would be protected. She wouldn’t get into the fact there would be no legacy after hers, no risk that another child would endure through the pain this curse had caused the generations. It was a discussion for another time, a time Killian knew she’d continue to put off. “Wouldn’t that be nice? I could finally upgrade our greenhouse, and paint outside? Maybe you’ll help me pick the colors?” Her mother was unresponsive, the usual really. The silence has become more comforting than the words of a woman who’s mental anguish was indescribable. Keelie’s hand reached to her mother’s face, cupping one cheek as she stood and kissed the woman’s forehead. “I’m gonna make you and daddy proud, okay? Don’t you worry about a thing..I’ll see you soon.” Walking away had become a specialty, the same way silence had become an uncomfortable cage that allowed a tormented mind to wander. The louder things were, the less voices she could hear and so as she slipped from her mother’s room she made sure to dial the radio up just a bit. Maybe, that would be a comfort, when comfort was something a person could no longer provide. “I’ll see you on Wednesday, and I’ll bring the check for this month?” A nurse in aqua scrubs nodded only, her hands full of phone and pen. A sigh parted keelie’s lips, she’d made it through another visit without crying which to her had become the ultimate goal. Her mother was a painful reminder of what she felt destined to become, destined to revert back to a stage of fear, where like an infant her mouth would be non verbal except for the screams. It was coming to that for Annika now, and there was nothing she could do but watch. All the once bright eyed daughter could do, was scrounge up the payments to keep her in a place where she was safe. It wouldn’t end that way for her, not if she had a say in it. She wouldn’t lose control of herself in a building full of loneliness. So, as she left the building, crossing the main street to her vehicle, she breathed out and made sure not to look in either direction.. “Take me out, before something else does..”

[easyfoodnetwork]

The Uncertain Future of Pop-Up Restaurants

Leigh-Ann Martin chats with guests at one of her pop-up dinners. | Dahli Durley

As the restaurant industry faces an ongoing crisis, pop-up chefs confront unique challenges during the pandemic

Three months ago, Omar Tate was serving an $150 eight-course tasting menu out of a penthouse event space in New York’s Financial District. The dinner, featuring such dishes called Notes From a Black Pantry and Cart of Yams, was one of Tate’s Honeysuckle pop-ups, which explore and pay homage to the black experience through food and art. Now, Tate is staying in a spare room at his mom’s house in Philadelphia. With multicourse dinners out of the question during the coronavirus pandemic, he’s cooking in her kitchen, posting a menu on his Instagram, and selling dishes to the public for $10 to $12 each. The setting is dissimilar to that of a New York penthouse, but he plans each menu as thoughtfully as ever, still tracing and celebrating black American foodways. Last week, Tate cooked lamb in a pit, serving the meat — marinated in palm oil and smoky from the oak he’d used as fuel — along with pickled vegetables and tart, lemony potatoes.

“All the things that go into what I make still have that same intentionality,” he says. “It was never about the theater of it all, which is the dining room. It’s not about that.”

“The beauty of a pop-up is that they are malleable. They’re kind of like an amoeba.”

The pop-up model has long been an alternative for cooks who lack access to the capital needed to launch and operate a restaurant, or who are disenfranchised by the culture and structure of traditional kitchens. For women and people of color in the restaurant industry, who are all too often refused the opportunities and resources that their white male counterparts enjoy, the pop-up model serves to democratize the cooking and sharing of food.

In some cities, pop-ups — particularly those in home kitchens — face legal challenges, but in most, they can operate as long as food is prepared in a commissary or restaurant kitchen. This shape-shifting model isn’t just a second choice for would-be restaurant owners. The fluidity and flexibility of the pop-up allows for a certain kind of creativity — blending art, history, performance, and food into a single dinner, for instance — that the constraints of most restaurants don’t allow.

Without brick-and-mortar locations, deep pockets, or much government assistance, pop-up chefs face unique challenges during the pandemic. But as it becomes increasingly unclear what restaurants will look like in a post-pandemic world, these businesses are also uniquely positioned to meet the needs of local communities, and maybe even offer a vision for dining in the future — if they can last that long.

“The beauty of a pop-up — and I’ve only learned this since I’ve been forced out of [restaurant] spaces because of the current situation that we’re in — is that they are malleable,” Tate says. “They’re kind of like an amoeba.”

Haamza Edwards

For a recent pop-up dinner, Tate slow-smoked lamb legs in a pit.

A change of plans

Three years after launching the Vegan Hood Chefs in San Francisco’s Bayview neighborhood, Ronnishia Johnson and Rheema Calloway were ready to turn their pop-up into a permanent space this year.

“As a minority-owned [business], we were looking to use this year as a way to show that we are profitable, in order to be able to apply for capital to reach our ultimate goal, which is to get a brick-and-mortar [location],” Johnson says. The pair, neither of whom had any restaurant experience before launching, started the Hood Vegan Chefs out of necessity. In their predominantly black San Francisco neighborhood, there were no grocery stores in sight, and Johnson and Calloway were confronted by an unpleasant truth: No one was going to come into their community and create more options for healthy living. Opening a restaurant seemed the most effective way to take matters into their own hands and provide fresh food to their neighbors.

Ronnishia Johnson (left) and Rheema Calloway

The dream of restaurant ownership is off the table, for now at least. Like so many other pop-up restaurant owners across the country, Johnson and Calloway are glad just to be breaking even. But in the face of a crisis that has put restaurants on the brink of permanent closure, many pop-up chefs are questioning whether restaurant ownership is the end goal after all.

“We’re putting the brick and mortar on hold. It may not necessarily be what the community needs right now,” Johnson says. “What they need may be [for us] to keep this pop-up sustainable. And that looks like using the money we would have put down on a brick and mortar to possibly build our team so that we have more individuals who are able to pop up at already existing restaurants, to be able to provide food for the community.” Though the Vegan Hood Chefs doesn’t have the capital to expand in the way Johnson and Calloway had hoped to this year, their fresh vegan offerings are delivered throughout the Bay Area once a week, providing customers with trays of prepared grains, greens, and meat substitutes.

Before the pandemic, a majority of the Vegan Hood Chefs’ revenue was generated through large events, all of which have been canceled. The same is true for many pop-up chefs, who relied on large food events and ticketed dinners to provide the bulk of their income. But with no massive overhead costs, and a business model already designed to be adaptable, pop-ups around the country are adjusting quickly.

Until recently, Salimatu Amabebe traveled state to state hosting their dinner series, Black Feast. Each dinner was informed by and centered around the work of a black artist, the art inspiring the menu. The meal was never just a dinner, nor was it a gallery exhibition. Often, the hardest part of planning the events was finding a space where art and food could coexist.

It has been hard for Amabebe to imagine what such an experiential dinner could look like as a takeout-only operation. On a recent Sunday night in Berkeley, California, they decided to give it a try. After planning what would be the first Black Feast event with no communal dining element, Amabebe became weighed down by videos circulating online of the violence black people are facing during the pandemic. Ordinarily, a Black Feast dinner would serve as a way to bring people together over a meal, a chance to process current events or just relax in the comfort of community. With in-person gatherings out of the question, Amambebe had to find other ways to deliver that same feeling through a takeout window.

“What do people need right now, what does my community need right now?” Amabebe asked themself as they planned the meal. The menu that they came up with was inspired by the work of Oakland-based artist Lukaza Branfman-Verissimo, and captured the urgency and frustration of the moment.

Jessa Carter

Salimatu Amabebe (right) poses in front of the takeout window with artist Lukaza Branfman-Verissimo.

Each to-go order was wrapped in a print designed by Lukaza, featuring painted phrases such as “Say her name,” the other side printed with a transcribed interview between Amabebe and Lukaza. Inside the paper wrapping were containers of rich and mellow black-eyed pea and tomato stew, and big slices of ever-so-slightly earthy spinach-vanilla cake with yam buttercream.

With donations from friends and past Black Feast guests around the country, Amabebe was able to give free meals to black customers who came to pick them up. “It was really cool to see that it’s possible to change this model and share food with people, and nourish people in the community. And not all have to come together at the table,” they say.

When Amabebe isn’t planning for the next Black Feast dinner, they sell loaves of bread and jars of Nigerian chai from the takeout window of the building where they’re currently finishing an artist’s residency. As restaurants reopen across the country, and chefs try to work out what cooking for the public again will look like, Amabebe doesn’t really have a plan for the future. “It’s difficult because when you base the model of what you do on community care for others and not on profit, it puts you in a position that is, in some ways, freeing,” Amabebe says. “But also, there isn’t always a specific plan for how things are going to go, and there aren’t a lot of funds to move around. In some ways, it’s easy to shut down: ‘Okay, well, we’re not doing these events.’ But also, what the fuck do we do?”

What comes next

There are fewer barriers to entry for chefs launching pop-ups than for those opening restaurants. There are usually no investors to answer to, fewer overhead costs, and few or no employees to pay. Some of the pop-up chefs I spoke to had not registered their operations with the government, and had — at one point or another — done business under the table, not paying taxes. During a pandemic, the lack of structure that once felt liberating can bring on a sense of uncertainty and anxiousness.

“All of my money was coming from pop-ups, all of it,” Tate says. While peers with investors or savings accounts cushioned by parents or spouses have put money aside, Tate couldn’t plan for a rainy day, let alone an all-out storm. “That was literally my entire financial life and safety net. I was living contract to contract.” Tate applied for a $10,000 Paycheck Protection Program loan, and was granted $1,000. He hasn’t been able to get through to the overwhelmed unemployment application portal.

With no money left in her bank account, Illyanna Maisonet decided to halt her pop-up dinners during the pandemic. The chef and writer (she’s written for Eater on several occasions) ran social media for a popular San Francisco blogger, and in her spare time, she’s hosted Puerto Rican dinners in her small casita — a separate dining space in her Sacramento, California backyard. Maisonet never thought of herself as a brand or a business before the pandemic. Now, it feels like there’s nowhere to turn for help. “I have no hustle because all my side hustles require being outside,” she says. “So [there’s] no money coming in, no income.” The final blow came when Maisonet had to cancel a dinner she had already sold tickets for, and some of her guests refused her offer to deliver meals to their front door. “That was, like, a really good chunk of money... So now I have negative money in my bank account. I haven’t been negative in my bank account since I was in my 20s.”

Ryan Soule

Solomon Johnson prepares for dinner service.

Refunding customers right now could force small pop-ups to shut down for good. When Solomon Johnson, the chef behind the Oakland, California-based pop-up and catering company Omni World Kitchen, had to return $13,000 for canceled events, it felt inevitable that he would have to close his business. “I’m on a shoestring budget,” he says. “So after giving back all those refunds, I was almost convinced that I was going to have to completely shut down.” Solomon managed to secure a loan through the micro-loan organization Kiva, which kept his business just barely afloat, as he watched major restaurant chains receive the same PPP loan he’d been denied.

Johnson isn’t in a rush to start delivering plates of food during quarantine, citing concerns about his own health. While in-person events are on hold, he’s taken his business online, looking for new ways to create income. He’s just finished designing a line of merchandise, and completed edits on his first cookbook. “I really decided to think on my feet,” he says.

Meeting diners where they are

While many pop-up chefs express uncertainty about what the future might bring, others are hopeful they’ll be among the first to get back on their feet. When the time comes for restaurants to reopen in New Jersey, Leigh-Ann Martin has one of the most intimate dining spaces in town: Her kitchen table. Martin’s pop-up, A Table for Four — named for the snug table in her dining room where she serves guests — revolves around Trinidadian dishes cooked in her Union City kitchen.

As diners begin to reenter society, Martin suspects they’ll want a level of intimacy that restaurants in the early phases of reopening won’t be able to provide. “If people are going to feel safe enough to leave their home to come out, I feel like they’re going to want to do more than eat,” Martin says. She hopes to offer them an experience that falls somewhere between restaurant dining and eating at home. She’ll send them packing with recipes from the menu she serves, so they can recreate favorite Trinidadian dishes in their own kitchens, until the next time they brave the outside world.

Though his Oakland pop-up remains closed for now, Solomon Johnson also sees a future for his business when Northern Californians reemerge from the shutdown. “I know people will be excited to go out and eat again,” he says. “But the last thing you want to do is go to a restaurant that feeds 150 people... So I think that having a business model structured around smaller, intimate gatherings will probably be very lucrative after all of this. And that’s what I’ve been doing for almost five years now.”

In some ways, pop-ups have become more and more like traditional restaurants over the years, serving food out of restaurant dining rooms or large event spaces in place of home kitchens and front porches. With restaurants still closed in many states, and event spaces and bars unlikely to welcome pop-ups back any time soon, the model has been stripped down to its simplest form. “The future of pop-ups, now that people are paying attention,” Tate says, “is what they’ve always been: Something that pops up somewhere to feed people. And all that’s required is trust.”

from Eater - All https://ift.tt/2TORAOH https://ift.tt/36E2FqW

Leigh-Ann Martin chats with guests at one of her pop-up dinners. | Dahli Durley

As the restaurant industry faces an ongoing crisis, pop-up chefs confront unique challenges during the pandemic

Three months ago, Omar Tate was serving an $150 eight-course tasting menu out of a penthouse event space in New York’s Financial District. The dinner, featuring such dishes called Notes From a Black Pantry and Cart of Yams, was one of Tate’s Honeysuckle pop-ups, which explore and pay homage to the black experience through food and art. Now, Tate is staying in a spare room at his mom’s house in Philadelphia. With multicourse dinners out of the question during the coronavirus pandemic, he’s cooking in her kitchen, posting a menu on his Instagram, and selling dishes to the public for $10 to $12 each. The setting is dissimilar to that of a New York penthouse, but he plans each menu as thoughtfully as ever, still tracing and celebrating black American foodways. Last week, Tate cooked lamb in a pit, serving the meat — marinated in palm oil and smoky from the oak he’d used as fuel — along with pickled vegetables and tart, lemony potatoes.

“All the things that go into what I make still have that same intentionality,” he says. “It was never about the theater of it all, which is the dining room. It’s not about that.”

“The beauty of a pop-up is that they are malleable. They’re kind of like an amoeba.”

The pop-up model has long been an alternative for cooks who lack access to the capital needed to launch and operate a restaurant, or who are disenfranchised by the culture and structure of traditional kitchens. For women and people of color in the restaurant industry, who are all too often refused the opportunities and resources that their white male counterparts enjoy, the pop-up model serves to democratize the cooking and sharing of food.

In some cities, pop-ups — particularly those in home kitchens — face legal challenges, but in most, they can operate as long as food is prepared in a commissary or restaurant kitchen. This shape-shifting model isn’t just a second choice for would-be restaurant owners. The fluidity and flexibility of the pop-up allows for a certain kind of creativity — blending art, history, performance, and food into a single dinner, for instance — that the constraints of most restaurants don’t allow.

Without brick-and-mortar locations, deep pockets, or much government assistance, pop-up chefs face unique challenges during the pandemic. But as it becomes increasingly unclear what restaurants will look like in a post-pandemic world, these businesses are also uniquely positioned to meet the needs of local communities, and maybe even offer a vision for dining in the future — if they can last that long.

“The beauty of a pop-up — and I’ve only learned this since I’ve been forced out of [restaurant] spaces because of the current situation that we’re in — is that they are malleable,” Tate says. “They’re kind of like an amoeba.”

Haamza Edwards

For a recent pop-up dinner, Tate slow-smoked lamb legs in a pit.

A change of plans

Three years after launching the Vegan Hood Chefs in San Francisco’s Bayview neighborhood, Ronnishia Johnson and Rheema Calloway were ready to turn their pop-up into a permanent space this year.

“As a minority-owned [business], we were looking to use this year as a way to show that we are profitable, in order to be able to apply for capital to reach our ultimate goal, which is to get a brick-and-mortar [location],” Johnson says. The pair, neither of whom had any restaurant experience before launching, started the Hood Vegan Chefs out of necessity. In their predominantly black San Francisco neighborhood, there were no grocery stores in sight, and Johnson and Calloway were confronted by an unpleasant truth: No one was going to come into their community and create more options for healthy living. Opening a restaurant seemed the most effective way to take matters into their own hands and provide fresh food to their neighbors.

Ronnishia Johnson (left) and Rheema Calloway

The dream of restaurant ownership is off the table, for now at least. Like so many other pop-up restaurant owners across the country, Johnson and Calloway are glad just to be breaking even. But in the face of a crisis that has put restaurants on the brink of permanent closure, many pop-up chefs are questioning whether restaurant ownership is the end goal after all.

“We’re putting the brick and mortar on hold. It may not necessarily be what the community needs right now,” Johnson says. “What they need may be [for us] to keep this pop-up sustainable. And that looks like using the money we would have put down on a brick and mortar to possibly build our team so that we have more individuals who are able to pop up at already existing restaurants, to be able to provide food for the community.” Though the Vegan Hood Chefs doesn’t have the capital to expand in the way Johnson and Calloway had hoped to this year, their fresh vegan offerings are delivered throughout the Bay Area once a week, providing customers with trays of prepared grains, greens, and meat substitutes.

Before the pandemic, a majority of the Vegan Hood Chefs’ revenue was generated through large events, all of which have been canceled. The same is true for many pop-up chefs, who relied on large food events and ticketed dinners to provide the bulk of their income. But with no massive overhead costs, and a business model already designed to be adaptable, pop-ups around the country are adjusting quickly.

Until recently, Salimatu Amabebe traveled state to state hosting their dinner series, Black Feast. Each dinner was informed by and centered around the work of a black artist, the art inspiring the menu. The meal was never just a dinner, nor was it a gallery exhibition. Often, the hardest part of planning the events was finding a space where art and food could coexist.

It has been hard for Amabebe to imagine what such an experiential dinner could look like as a takeout-only operation. On a recent Sunday night in Berkeley, California, they decided to give it a try. After planning what would be the first Black Feast event with no communal dining element, Amabebe became weighed down by videos circulating online of the violence black people are facing during the pandemic. Ordinarily, a Black Feast dinner would serve as a way to bring people together over a meal, a chance to process current events or just relax in the comfort of community. With in-person gatherings out of the question, Amambebe had to find other ways to deliver that same feeling through a takeout window.

“What do people need right now, what does my community need right now?” Amabebe asked themself as they planned the meal. The menu that they came up with was inspired by the work of Oakland-based artist Lukaza Branfman-Verissimo, and captured the urgency and frustration of the moment.

Jessa Carter

Salimatu Amabebe (right) poses in front of the takeout window with artist Lukaza Branfman-Verissimo.

Each to-go order was wrapped in a print designed by Lukaza, featuring painted phrases such as “Say her name,” the other side printed with a transcribed interview between Amabebe and Lukaza. Inside the paper wrapping were containers of rich and mellow black-eyed pea and tomato stew, and big slices of ever-so-slightly earthy spinach-vanilla cake with yam buttercream.

With donations from friends and past Black Feast guests around the country, Amabebe was able to give free meals to black customers who came to pick them up. “It was really cool to see that it’s possible to change this model and share food with people, and nourish people in the community. And not all have to come together at the table,” they say.

When Amabebe isn’t planning for the next Black Feast dinner, they sell loaves of bread and jars of Nigerian chai from the takeout window of the building where they’re currently finishing an artist’s residency. As restaurants reopen across the country, and chefs try to work out what cooking for the public again will look like, Amabebe doesn’t really have a plan for the future. “It’s difficult because when you base the model of what you do on community care for others and not on profit, it puts you in a position that is, in some ways, freeing,” Amabebe says. “But also, there isn’t always a specific plan for how things are going to go, and there aren’t a lot of funds to move around. In some ways, it’s easy to shut down: ‘Okay, well, we’re not doing these events.’ But also, what the fuck do we do?”

What comes next

There are fewer barriers to entry for chefs launching pop-ups than for those opening restaurants. There are usually no investors to answer to, fewer overhead costs, and few or no employees to pay. Some of the pop-up chefs I spoke to had not registered their operations with the government, and had — at one point or another — done business under the table, not paying taxes. During a pandemic, the lack of structure that once felt liberating can bring on a sense of uncertainty and anxiousness.

“All of my money was coming from pop-ups, all of it,” Tate says. While peers with investors or savings accounts cushioned by parents or spouses have put money aside, Tate couldn’t plan for a rainy day, let alone an all-out storm. “That was literally my entire financial life and safety net. I was living contract to contract.” Tate applied for a $10,000 Paycheck Protection Program loan, and was granted $1,000. He hasn’t been able to get through to the overwhelmed unemployment application portal.

With no money left in her bank account, Illyanna Maisonet decided to halt her pop-up dinners during the pandemic. The chef and writer (she’s written for Eater on several occasions) ran social media for a popular San Francisco blogger, and in her spare time, she’s hosted Puerto Rican dinners in her small casita — a separate dining space in her Sacramento, California backyard. Maisonet never thought of herself as a brand or a business before the pandemic. Now, it feels like there’s nowhere to turn for help. “I have no hustle because all my side hustles require being outside,” she says. “So [there’s] no money coming in, no income.” The final blow came when Maisonet had to cancel a dinner she had already sold tickets for, and some of her guests refused her offer to deliver meals to their front door. “That was, like, a really good chunk of money... So now I have negative money in my bank account. I haven’t been negative in my bank account since I was in my 20s.”

Ryan Soule

Solomon Johnson prepares for dinner service.

Refunding customers right now could force small pop-ups to shut down for good. When Solomon Johnson, the chef behind the Oakland, California-based pop-up and catering company Omni World Kitchen, had to return $13,000 for canceled events, it felt inevitable that he would have to close his business. “I’m on a shoestring budget,” he says. “So after giving back all those refunds, I was almost convinced that I was going to have to completely shut down.” Solomon managed to secure a loan through the micro-loan organization Kiva, which kept his business just barely afloat, as he watched major restaurant chains receive the same PPP loan he’d been denied.

Johnson isn’t in a rush to start delivering plates of food during quarantine, citing concerns about his own health. While in-person events are on hold, he’s taken his business online, looking for new ways to create income. He’s just finished designing a line of merchandise, and completed edits on his first cookbook. “I really decided to think on my feet,” he says.

Meeting diners where they are

While many pop-up chefs express uncertainty about what the future might bring, others are hopeful they’ll be among the first to get back on their feet. When the time comes for restaurants to reopen in New Jersey, Leigh-Ann Martin has one of the most intimate dining spaces in town: Her kitchen table. Martin’s pop-up, A Table for Four — named for the snug table in her dining room where she serves guests — revolves around Trinidadian dishes cooked in her Union City kitchen.

As diners begin to reenter society, Martin suspects they’ll want a level of intimacy that restaurants in the early phases of reopening won’t be able to provide. “If people are going to feel safe enough to leave their home to come out, I feel like they’re going to want to do more than eat,” Martin says. She hopes to offer them an experience that falls somewhere between restaurant dining and eating at home. She’ll send them packing with recipes from the menu she serves, so they can recreate favorite Trinidadian dishes in their own kitchens, until the next time they brave the outside world.

Though his Oakland pop-up remains closed for now, Solomon Johnson also sees a future for his business when Northern Californians reemerge from the shutdown. “I know people will be excited to go out and eat again,” he says. “But the last thing you want to do is go to a restaurant that feeds 150 people... So I think that having a business model structured around smaller, intimate gatherings will probably be very lucrative after all of this. And that’s what I’ve been doing for almost five years now.”

In some ways, pop-ups have become more and more like traditional restaurants over the years, serving food out of restaurant dining rooms or large event spaces in place of home kitchens and front porches. With restaurants still closed in many states, and event spaces and bars unlikely to welcome pop-ups back any time soon, the model has been stripped down to its simplest form. “The future of pop-ups, now that people are paying attention,” Tate says, “is what they’ve always been: Something that pops up somewhere to feed people. And all that’s required is trust.”

from Eater - All https://ift.tt/2TORAOH via Blogger https://ift.tt/2AjtmoM

[reenartgallery-blog]

Explore the Techniques to Paint Mix Media Painting

Instead of using only one medium while painting, it is good to employ mix mediums as they merge various paints, drawings, materials and techniques.  Despite fact that the mixing of oils, watercolors as well as acrylics on the canvas had been almost strange years ago, the technique is fairly common among today’s artists to combine paint mediums.

Mix media painting have been there for centuries. There are two aspects of this. One has to do with advertising and the multiple methods for delivering information by television or billboards. And another is painting made by the artists whatever they draw to develop.

Use of paint in the artwork is an effortless technique to put colours and create amazing work by your own.  Paint is inexpensive as compared to other art stuff and permitting you to buy a few colours.  Mix media painting is almost a fun somewhat for the artist while drawing the pictures but it is something special and like a goal for the buyers who are particularly looking for Mix media painting online.

Here we will help you to show some basic painting techniques which can be adapted for numerous mixed media projects such as blending washes, credit card technique and using stencils.

This is what you need to bring like surface ready to paint, two paint brush, utensil filled with water and kitchen towel or you can say it as an apron.

Here is the detailed information about some of the techniques of Mix media paintings you should know:

Blending Paints

It is a great technique to practice. You can start with two colours that work well together like 2 shades of blue, 2 shades of green, a purple and maroon. You should also have a separate brush for each colour. Then, start by adding a spot of one colour and add the next colour. Put your paintbrush into the water and take out to combine the meeting section together. The excess of water can be removed by the kitchen towel. Continue until you cover the background area. Leave each layer to get dry before starting the next. Each layer will merge the edges of each colour and gradually build up your background.

When you think that the background is okay, you can leave it to dry. And, now you are ready to decorate your painted background. There are a lot of people who are searching Mix Media painting online. So, create as much you can and sell them on the web.

Credit Card Painting

Usually, artists use this technique as it is a good way to paint and cover excellent area rapidly. It works outstanding for all kinds of paints. You need to bring an old credit card or store card for this technique. Make sure the card should be crap to use because the paint can ruin the information on the magnetic chip.  

Now add a thin strip of paint throughout the top of your canvas. Take the plastic card to drag the paint down to cover the background. Try to use the card from different angles and pressures as it will give you different effaces.   Paint will enhance the grace of painting when it gets thicken and dry. Then, use contrasting colour paint, put it on the canvas and pull down with a credit card again. Leave it to dry for a few minutes. Now it is ready to add embellishments to finish your piece. Now it is ready to add flourishes to finish your piece.

Using Stencils

Creating stencils is an easy way to add patterns or shapes into your mixed media painted background. You can make your own using plastic sheets. For more complex designs, try printing a photo onto office paper and cut out carefully with a craft knife. To add paint with a stencil, a sponge or stencilling brush is also needed. Add paint to a pallet and spread out with a paintbrush so you can pick up the uneven amount on your sponge. Place your stencil onto your surface, hold firmly and gently adds paint with the sponge. An up-and-down application works best for paper stencils as they are easily torn. Move the stencil and repeat. Check that your stencil isn’t getting too wet; it is easily replaced when it gets too soggy. Remember that you can use both positive and negative parts of the stencil.

These three basic mixed media painting techniques can be adapted to many different projects. With practice, you will get to know your paints and tools, and your skills at blending and putting colours together will improve your mixed media art skills. You need to give yourself permission to use the paints you already own and allow yourself to experiment – that way your skills will improve.

Discover the secrets of artistic minds by our huge collection of paintings online.Here you get Original  Acrylic Painting Online,Oil Canvas Painting Online,Charcoal Painting Online, Watercolour Art Network Online and much more.

[peacefulheartfarm]

Honey! Fun Facts

Today is going to be all about honey. How sweet is that? Honey is a yummy treat that has lots of health benefits. But what is it really? And how is it made? What’s the best way to store it and how long will it last? All of these questions and more will be answered in today’s podcast.

I want to take a minute and say welcome to all the new listeners and, as always, welcome back all of you who are veteran homestead-loving regulars stopping by the FarmCast for every single episode. I appreciate you all so much. We have lots to talk about regarding the goings on around the homestead.

Our Virginia Homestead Life Updates

Let’s start with the cows. I love our cows so much. They are definitely my favorite. Well, I love those lambs too. And the goats. And the quail. And what about the donkeys? Okay, I can’t decide on a favorite.

Cows

We tried again to put the milking moms in with the rest of the herd and the other three nursing calves. There is a video up on our Facebook page of Princess following Rosie around. And as you can imagine, Rosie came up short a couple of gallons of milk this morning. Well, it was worth a try anyway. Princess is a very resourceful young lady and will latch on anywhere that anyone will let her.

Violet is “bagging up”. That means she is approaching her delivery. We now have her in with the Rosie and Butter. They come up every day, twice a day so we can check on her more often. The rest of the crowd will come up once a day. They are getting retrained for the upcoming AI procedures. There are three. There is a hormonal implant that is done a week ahead. Then there is a hormone shot three days ahead. And then the AI implantation takes place. After all of that, we wait for three weeks to see if they come into heat again. If so, we try the implant once again. And that circle of life is continued.

This will be our second year of using artificial insemination. I hope it goes better this year. I expect it will. Experience always makes things go easier. Violet will be the only one not involved in this first round of AI as she will either not have delivered yet or will have freshened only a day or so ahead of all the prep. She will need six weeks before she is ready to start her next calf.

Sheep

We lost yet another sheep, this time to a rogue dog, or so the tracks would indicate. They were much too large for a coyote. I say it was a rogue dog because we never saw another indication that it was still in the area. There was a very large lost dog that was listed on our county Facebook page the very next day. Are they connected? We will never know. The losses are devastating but we keep moving. We continue to search for a livestock guardian dog and pray the right one comes along soon.

Garden

Scott is out in the garden today putting in a whole lot of plant starts. We have been so busy with other things that the garden tasks have just been pushed back and pushed back and pushed back some more. He is out there trying to get us caught up. What a wonderful man he is as he picks up the slack that I’m leaving out there. I sprained my hand last week and it will hurt like crazy if I work it too hard. Scott has been doing lots of things to help me out. The garden work is only one of them.

Culinary Herbs

I have two perennial herbs that are going in between the sections of the strawberry patch. I already have oregano and thyme out there. Today Scott is adding the rosemary and garden sage.

Other herbs plants he hopes to get in the ground are the parsley and basil. I’m raising those as annuals. Perhaps when I have an official herb garden I will plant some that will reseed each year. We shall see.

Peppers

On the vegetable front. He has two flats of peppers that will fill another two raised beds. It’s a lot to accomplish in one day. Will he reach his goal? We shall see. Whatever he gets done is so appreciated.

The peppers are those lovely California Wonder bell peppers and pepperoncini. I’m going to pickle some this year. Look for those at the farmer’s market this fall.

Tomatoes

One other garden topic is the tomatoes. I only have two flats of tomatoes left. I’m taking them to the farmer’s market this weekend. Whatever is left will be planted just behind the shelling peas along the orchard wall. Scott put up a fence for a trellis there. It is working great for the peas right now. And as they come out in the next few weeks, the tomatoes will pick up where they left off.

Still to come are the beans and crowder peas. It is so much all at once and then the maintenance of fertilizer and water is all that is needed. We already have some compost tea brewing in a couple of 55-gallon barrels. We have plenty of poo that Scott gathered and put in there, then filled the barrels with water so the tea can brew. It’s a great fertilizer.

Creamery

With all that garden stuff going on, what is happening with the creamery. The answer there is “nothing”. We are still waiting on the guys who will build and install the milking stanchion setup. We have now decided to add the other option that was offered to us a few weeks ago. To recap, the quote for the stainless-steel overhead complete pipeline system was way outside of our budget. We nixed that and asked for just the milking stanchion setup. They quoted us that and then added that instead of the complete pipeline system, they could hook up our vacuum pump so we could milk into buckets and then pour them into the bulk holding tank. I kind of balked at that as well. The price quote was certainly within reason and we could swing it financially, but I didn’t see the real benefit. Now comes the part about how I injured my hand and how we are likely going to get that vacuum pump working.

Broken Equipment

I didn’t see the benefit because we already have the portable milkers that pump the milk into a can. It’s on wheels and easy to move from cow to cow. We can do two at a time. It really works well for us. Why change? Well, because it can fail quite easily. One evening during cleanup after milking, the cover over the vacuum tank on that little machine suddenly collapsed and was sucked into the vacuum drum. Scott and a family friend worked on getting something patched together for the morning milking. They worked well past midnight.

In the morning, we tried the newly engineered vacuum tank cover. It failed within a minute or so. Rosie was maybe half way milked out. Butter was not even close. I quickly got together what we needed to hand milk the cows. Butter was done in a little over 20 minutes or so. Then we moved to the really hard one, Rosie. She was already milked out some but there was probably close to a gallon still to go. Rosie’s teats are about as big as my little finger. There is no way to get a good grasp on it. We were getting about a quarter teaspoon with each squirt. I cannot imagine how long it would take to completely milk her out. We finally decided to just let her go and make sure we had a system in place to milk her out in the evening.

The Backup Portable Milker

One other thing we tried along the way was using the other portable milker that we keep as a backup. It had been so long since we had used it that we didn’t even remember how to set it up correctly. There are lots of hoses that have to be hooked up just so or it simply won’t work. This particular milker needs to be oiled in order to function properly. Here is where I fell.

Scott turned it on and the oil shot up out of the top like a geyser, splashing on the roof of the shed and splattering everywhere. I tried to quickly jump out of the way. My foot caught on a piece of wood that we had in the ground from a couple of years ago when we had to tie one of Butter’s legs back so she wouldn’t kick the milking inflations off of her teats. My foot caught and down I went. I fell to the side and landed on the outside of my right arm and hand. Within a few minutes I felt alright. The pain subsided. I continued to do everything I had planned for the day. Basically, that was making cheese.

My Fall and Injury

Over the next few hours, the pain escalated to the point that I had to get Scott to finish the cheese while I went to the urgent care clinic. No broken bones, but a good sprain in that hand. According to the PA, it was likely my osteoarthritis causing the biggest part of the pain at that moment. He wrapped it up and I kept it wrapped up for a couple of days, but it seems like everything I do involves water. I finally gave up on the wrap and have been using pain to temper my activity. It’s an imperfect method. Usually by the end of the day my hand is throbbing. Today, the swelling is almost gone but it will still be a few more weeks before it is back to normal. Scott is picking up the slack for me. He is always there for me.

The bottom line is I can now very clearly see why we might want that vacuum pump hooked up and working, keeping the portable milker as a standby. Experience is a great teacher. And all of that to say that the creamery is currently on pause while Scott does other things and we wait on the milking stanchions and vacuum pump work to be completed.

The primer coat of paint is complete and Scott has decided on the wall coloring it will be a color that is between the color of milk and butter. Nearly white, but with some yellow tone. It’s going to be glorious.

Okay that went on longer than I anticipated. Let’s get on to the topic of honey.

Honey

We have had one single beehive in the corner of the orchard for several years. We have never worked this hive. The bees fended for themselves. We never took their honey. They kept it all. This likely would have continued for another few years except that our bees did not survive this past winter.

I asked one of the guys that sell honey at the farmer’s market what might have happened. He said that they also lost more than usual. If the bees unclump because it gets warm and then it gets cold again, they will freeze. They clump together over the winter and keep the queen bee in the center of the clump so she is warm. Throughout the winter more and more bees on the outside will die. The rest keep going and going, keeping that queen safe and warm. Again, if they unclump too early, the cold can kill them. We did have lots of warm and then freezing weather right behind it.

Once the weather got warm for a longer period of time, all sorts of bees came around that now unprotected hive to steal the honey. An active hive will have an army of bees that protect the entrance from just this sort of activity. Any bee will steal honey that they find undefended. It was an angry mob out there. Scott waited until it got dark and the bees went home. Then he pulled off the top three boxes, or supers, full of honey. We kept the boxes covered in a plastic garbage bag inside and away from the robber bees.

Another one of those tasks that got pushed back and pushed back and pushed back, Scott started working on getting the honey out of the comb just a few days ago. We have the honey extracted and will begin seeing what we can do about preserving the wax in the next couple of days.

So, we have lots of honey now, perhaps five gallons or so. What will we do with all of that? Let’s talk about honey.

What is honey

How about a few trivia facts to get started? The honey itself is produced from flower nectar or from honeydew secreted from other insects. The bees eat the nectar or honeydew, add some of their stomach enzymes and then regurgitate the result. It goes into the wax structure or honeycomb where they proceed to fan it with their wings causing the water to evaporate.

So what makes it sweet? Whenever you see that O S E on the end of a word, “ose,” it means a type of sugar. Honey gets its sweetness from fructose and glucose. Honey has about the same relative sweetness as sucrose which is table sugar. Those of you counting calories will want to know that one tablespoon of honey is about 46 calories.

Honey use and production have a long and varied history. There are cave paintings in Cuevas de la Arana in Spain that depict humans foraging for honey. These paintings were done at least 8,000 years ago. Large-scale meliponiculture has been practiced by the Mayans since pre-Columbian times. Meliponiculure beekeeping of stingless bees. Stingless bees are meliponines. They actually have stingers but they are small and not used for defense. There are other types of stingless bees and they can have painful and powerful bites.

Global production of honey in 2019 was 1.9 million tons. The leading producers are China (with 24% of the total), Turkey, Canada, Argentina, and Iran.

How is Honey Made

I’ll expand a little on how it is made. There is more to it than eating pollen, regurgitating and drying it. It all starts with the queen. Each hive must have a queen. She keeps the hive functioning. There can be only one.

The Queen

When the hive gets too large, the queen will begin laying queen cells. Nurse bees take care of this cell by feeding the queen cells nothing but royal jelly. Other eggs only get royal jelly for the first few days.

Once the new queen hatches, the older queen leaves with a small swarm so the new, younger, stronger, queen does not kill her. If multiple queen cells hatch at once, they will fight to the death. There can be only one.

The Mating Flight

Now that the new queen is hatched, it is her job to lay eggs and keep the hive thriving. Of course, that means she has to mate before laying eggs. This is where the worker bees and drones come in. The worker bees mainly lay drone eggs. The drones are the male bees. The virgin queen bee will only mate once in her lifetime. These drone bees wait their entire life for the chance to mate with the queen. After that they are just another mouth to feed.

The queen flies high into the sky. The drone bees are hanging out waiting for their opportunity. The strongest and genetically best drones will make their way to the queen. It’s a short life though. The drone’s genitalia will be ripped free after mating leaving a hole that will ultimately lead to his death. It’s a short life filled with purpose. His life mission to continue his DNA is completed and he dies. The queen has a storage sack where the sperm is stored and utilized for the rest of her life.

The Queen Lays Eggs

The queen now returns to the hive and begins laying eggs. She lays in the cells called brood chambers. Based on the needs of the hive, the queen will determine what type of bee each egg will produce. I mentioned the queen cell earlier. It is peanut shaped. The drones are larger cells, the worker bees are smaller cells. Young worker bees are called nurse bees. They feed all the cells in which she has laid eggs.

Bee Employment

The bees start out as larvae, they graduate to whatever their job is going to be when they mature. The drones, as mentioned above, hang around and get fed, leaving the hive during the day to hang out with other drones searching for a virgin queen in flight.

The worker bees are all female. Some gather the pollen, while others stay in the hive receiving the pollen and other things that are brought to her. The others will also help with making the honey. There are some worker bees that become nurse bees, caring for the eggs and larvae. Some, called attendants, even care for the queen.

Most bees live for about two months or less. All of this is happening very quickly.

The queen bee’s job is to lay eggs. She will lay around 1,500 eggs per day. And that’s a full-time job.

Collecting Pollen

The older, scavenger bees will travel within a 5-mile radius of their hive to collect food and pollen using their proboscis like a straw. What they don’t use for their own nourishment in their first stomach goes to their second stomach. This is like a storage pouch for transferring what they collected. They return to the hive.

The worker bee in the hive will use their proboscis to suck the nectar and pollen from the scavenger bee’s second stomach.

Filling the Honeycomb

The worker bees spread what they collected over an empty comb constructed by other worker bees. Once a comb is full, the honey needs to be dehydrated. Pulling the water out of the honey keeps it from spoiling. They dehydrate it by flapping their wings at just the right speed for just the right amount of time. Their instincts tell them when the honey is ready.

Capping the Honey

Next, the honey is capped. Bees create wax from their abdomen and they layout sheets of it, capping the newly filled comb. This keeps the water out. They eat it in the winter.

That’s it. The honey is made. This is where the beekeeper will come in and make the harvest. Again, we have never done this in real time. We only saved what was left when the hive died. That’s yet another learning experience for another day.

How is Honey Stored?

Honey is a staple in the kitchens of many around the globe. It is a very useful sweetener. It never goes bad and is very easy to store. Even if it starts to crystallize, it can easily be restored.

All you need to do is keep it cool and away from direct sunlight. Use a tightly sealed container. Glass or food-safe plastic are the best containers. Honey can oxidize metal.

You do not need to refrigerate honey. In fact, it will become really, really thick and harder to use when you need. You end up heating it up a little to return it to liquid.

Shelf Life

Honey will keep for a very long time. The high concentration of sugars makes it one of the most stable natural foods available. It can have an almost indefinite shelf life if stored properly. You may notice that honey producers put a “best by” date on their products. It’s usually about two years. According to the National Honey Board, this is done for practical purposes because of the variability of honey. However, they do note that honey can be stable for decades and even centuries.

Do not be alarmed if your honey becomes cloudy during storage. This is simply the honey crystalizing. It is not an indication of deterioration. Raw honey with high pollen content will crystallize faster than commercially produced honey. Sometimes crystallization is produced on purpose by the beekeeper.

Crystalized honey can be easily re-liquified. Place the jar in a pan of hot water. Stir gently while heating. Do not overheat. Excessive heat may alter the flavor if the sugars begin to caramelize. The microwave will get too hot too quickly. Avoid at all costs.

Health benefits of Honey

There are so many but I am only touching on five today. Raw honey has been used as a folk remedy throughout history. It’s even used in some hospitals as a treatment for wounds. Many benefits are specific to raw, or unpasteurized, honey. Most of the honey you find in your grocery store is pasteurized. The high heat kills unwanted yeast, can improve the color and texture, removes crystallization and extends the shelf life. Unfortunately, many of the beneficial nutrients are also destroyed in the process.

Good Source of Antioxidants

Some types of honey have as many antioxidants as fruits and vegetables. Antioxidants help to protect your body from cell damage due to free radicals left behind in chemical reactions.

Antibacterial and Antifungal Properties

Research has shown that raw honey can kill unwanted bacteria and fungus. It naturally contains hydrogen peroxide. Its effectiveness varies but is clearly more than a folk remedy for bacterial and fungal infections.

Heal Wounds

Manuka honey is used in medical settings to treat wounds because it has been found to be an effective germicide. It also aids in the regeneration of tissue. Honey used in a medical setting is inspected and sterile. Do not treat your cuts with honey from the grocery store.

Digestive Issues

Honey is sometimes used to treat diarrhea, though there is not much research confirming it. It is proven effective as a treatment for H. pylori, a common cause of stomach ulcers.

Honey is also a prebiotic, meaning it nourishes the good bacteria living in your intestines.

Soothing a Sore Throat

Hot tea with honey and lemon is a very common sore throat remedy. It’s easy to make and tastes good too. It also works as a cough suppressant. One or two teaspoonfuls, straight should do the trick.

Are There Any Risks?

There is only one risk of which I am aware. Honey should never be given to an infant under one year. I believe it is the danger of clostridium that is the problem there.

There is so much more I could share about honey but this podcast has already gone on a bit longer than usual.

Final Thoughts

That’s if for this this edition of the Peaceful Heart Farmcast. I hope you enjoyed the homestead updates. Let me know if there is anything else in particular you would like to know about what we do here. Drop me an email. I’d love to hear from you.

The animals are all doing well. I didn’t get to the quail so more on that in the next one. As I said, there is so much more I could share about honey. Let me know if you have questions. I’ll do my best to answer them.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please hop over to Apple Podcasts or whatever podcasting service you use, SUBSCRIBE and give me a 5-star rating and review. If you like this content and want to help out the show, the absolute best way you can do that is to share it with any friends or family who might be interested in this type of content. Let them know about the Peaceful Heart Farmcast.

Thank you so much for stopping by the homestead and until next time, may God fill your life with grace and peace.

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Check out this episode!

[austinpanda]

Dad Letter 032920

29 March, 2020

Dear Dad--

Another week of pandemic, come and gone. I spent the week attempting to go nowhere and interact with no one, and failed. Social distancing is one thing, and I recognize its importance, but it hasn’t seemed to put a dent in our need for the occasional cheeseburger. So we stay indoors and do the responsible thing, and that lasts about 48 hours, and then someone says, “Okay, fuggit, I want some Wendy’s,” and off we go! I think if the worst-case pandemic scenario plays out, it’s going to be because of intelligent, well-informed people, like Zach and me, who couldn’t resist the smell of french fries. Then again, the news says you don’t have to be afraid to order takeout or go to the store, you just have to be careful about contact and distance and try not to touch your face.

I saw in your email that you’re applying for an Oklahoma marijuana card, is that right? Huzzah! If that’s the case, isn’t it fortunate that you have a relative who’s knowledgeable on the subject! As usual, I have to preface this by saying: Turns out I like the stuff, but everyone experiences it differently, and there’s a lot of pot-related hype and bullshit and snake oil (not to mention a lot of plain ol’ bad feelings about it) out there. I don’t think I mentioned this to you specifically, but not long after we moved here, since Maine has legal medical marijuana, I checked to see if I qualified to get a Maine marijuana card myself. And while I think the primary qualification is the one where they say, “That’ll be $60, please,” you do have to speak with a medical professional at some point and let them know what you think the stuff is going to help you with, medically. 

I looked into it. My thinking was simply, I like the stuff, and Maine seems to think it qualifies as medicine, so if Maine thinks I might benefit from it, I can actually do it in a way that’s entirely within the law. And, HELLO, that’s always been the biggest drawback: knowing that, any time I buy some, I’m risking a traffic stop, and having my life irrevocably fucked up by the law. Doing it legally means that you can do it without fear of jail, or that you’ll get something that isn’t what the dealer says it is, or that you’ll get ripped off and have no recourse. Now it’s just...like buying alcohol. 

Anyway, I checked to see if I qualified for a Maine marijuana card, and--prepare yourself for an enormous surprise--I do! I applied, and actually got a video call from a nurse practitioner on my cell phone. She asked about what kind of medical stuff I’m dealing with, and I mentioned depression, and pain I experience every day from my excitingly dysfunctional ankles, and that I sometimes can’t fall asleep. She asked what I was doing to treat those things, and I told her all the stuff I’ve done to address those problems, some of which persist, regardless. She granted my request for a marijuana card!

So now, whenever I want, I can drive to Green Alien Cannabis, which is right next to the Best Buy in Bangor, and used to be a Pizza Hut, and get a half ounce of “Afghani Thin Mint Purple Nurple Tooty Frooty Kush” variety, or whatever, and they’ll have suggestions on what different strain is best for what kind of symptoms. On that note, and I beg your pardon if you already knew this, but a brief primer: Marijuana has two “flavors,” if you will, and they act a bit differently. There’s sativa, which gives you energy and creativity and makes you want to paint paintings, and there’s indica, which makes you so relaxed that you melt into the sofa, and helps fall asleep. That second one, indica, is what I’d recommend. It’s gentler and more relaxing. And the places that sell the stuff will be able to tell you if you’re getting a sleepy indica or an energetic sativa, or a hybrid with both, and in what percentages. Another disclaimer: pot is bad for you! Anything you set on fire and inhale is bad for you. It’s not a magical panacea, and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something. 

I don’t remember much about your experience with pot, except Mom saying it made you paranoid and y’all had to walk around the block to calm you down. Also Stacy and I found a black bong one time (this would have been in the late 70s, I’m thinking?) only we had no idea what it was. For what it’s worth, when it’s legal, your brain tends not to spend too much time worrying about the police showing up and spoiling your evening.

I suppose I have at least a few non-weed-related things I could update you on! My job is supposed to start a week from Monday, but that seems unlikely with the coronavirus still making life interesting. I’ll call them; we’ll figure it out. 

In anticipation of adopting the neighbor’s black stray cat, we’re trying to convince the cat that we’re friendly, and that human touch is a good thing, but she’s very flighty. At this rate, it’s going to take 600 years. I think we need a new strategy.

Our local grocery store has installed clear plastic shields in front of the checkers! It’s just a single big flat piece of clear plastic right in front of each checker, like a sneeze guard at a salad bar. 

You’ll be getting $2,400 from the government in the next few weeks. I suggest you blow it all on weed and porn and MAGA hats! I’ll probably throw most of my corona-bucks onto my credit card, to help get that balance down. 

I took an online test to find what kind of alcohol I am! According to the test, I’m tequila: wild, unpredictable, loud, and energetic. Truly, the wisdom of the internet is not to be scoffed at.

Someone left most of a pizza on the ground near the front of our trailer, and I took many photographs of seagulls eating it, including one pic of a crow showing up and stealing some pizza. 

I’ll be happy when the quarantine is no longer necessary, but for now, we have everything we need, and plenty of stuff to keep us busy. Hope things are looking up for you two. All my love to you both, and wash those hands! :)

[generouslyteenagealpaca-blog]

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Car insurance - change of address?

Hi. Recently i changed my address so i had to let the car insurance company know about that. But they charged(actually are willing to chage) me 423 pounds !! Yes, there's not a misspeling. It's 423 . As far as i ve seen, most people get charged no maximum than 50 pounds for this change. Also, there are no changes on my policy. I still have a garage, i still do the same mileage/year and so on. They even confirmed that there's no change in policy details except the new address. The new address it's in Manchester (central area) and before i lived in Bradford(UK). Now, in the mean time, i had a claim. If i would have found about this fee before, i would have cancel my insurance policy but now that i have a claim, i can't cancel it anymore and being refunded (as i paid the insurance for 1 year in one go, Not monthly). I found about this crazy 423 fee only now when i had this claim. You can't find anything about any fees related to changing the address neither on my policy papers nor on their website and online policy books. I suppose they considered this fee just as an administration fee. And i suppose they could have charged me even 10 000 pounds as an administration fee just because they can. I don't feel protected by the company anymore !! that's why it's an insurance company, to protect and take some risks out. The insurance company it's Admiral. I tryed to talk and explain them that this fee it's just nuts but they didn't agreed. The fee it's about 1/4 of the total insurance cost for 1 year. Maybe they try to take advantage of the fact that i can't cancel it (coz i have a claim in process) and i can't get refunded ? Any ideea how should i proceed ? Shall i proceed with any legal actions ? if yes, how much time and money would that cost because i wouldn't go into, i don't think it's worth doing that. Thanks in advance :) Cheers!""

""If i lie about my car mileage for auto insurance, will they eventually find out my real auto mileage?""

If i lie about my car mileage for auto insurance, will they eventually find out my real auto mileage?""

Will speed camera tickets effect my car insurance in Maryland?

I have gotten several speed camera tickets in the past few months.. these things have been unknowingly til after the flash, been popping up!! Will these effect my car insurance? I have progressive.""

Is universal life the best for a 25 yr old?

will the premium go up as I get older.When can I see a substantial savings account when I am about 55.What a good reputable company.What r the drawback.I know term goes up every year.Thanks in advance

Begginning drivers and insurance?

When a high school student gets a permit, do I have to call the insurance company and add them to the policy? I know it may increase the rate drastically, so what is best to do?""

What's the cheapest liability insurance in the metroplex?

What's the cheapest liability insurance in the metroplex?

What type of insurance is better: private healthcare insurance or union insurance?

I used to have Kaiser Permanente but now I'm on a union healthcare plan because my mom works at a grocery store. I used to always be able to see a therapist a few times a month no problem when I had Kaiser, but with the union insurance I tried to go and after a few months it sucked up all the money in our insurance and we couldn't go to see any more doctors until the next year. Should I switch back to Kaiser? I'm mostly concerned with being able to see a therapist a few times a month, maybe a dermatologist a few times a year(currently I'm being treated for my acne), and being able to get contacts and a yearly eye exam(which I can do with my current insurance) and also being able to see a good dentist biannually(I can also do this with my current insurance) So pretty much all I'm missing is the mental health care I want! Would Kaiser be able to provide me all of this? Thanks in advance for any helpful input""

Does anyone have a suggestion for maternity insurance?

my husbands new job is a small business that does not have group policy insurance but they help us pay the premium through anthem blue cross- i looked up their policies and there is a 1 year waiting policy for maternity and we do not want to wait so i am wanting to know if anyone knows of some good maternity insurance. thank you

19 yr old looking for a fast & cheapest insurance car...?

So im 19 and looking for the best option in car with a cheap enough insurance <2,000. Wanting a car that is about as fast or sporty as im going to get for also <2,000. Any suggestions ???""

Auto insurance question (Mitsubishi Lancer?

I can call Allstate and find this out. However, I don't feel like staying on the line forever. Is the Mitsubishi Lancer consider a sports car according to auto insurance poilcy or is it just your average everyday sedan?""

Car Insurance For Teens!?!?!?!?!?

I'm about to purchase a used car for $2500. The car will be registered in my name. Do I have to get insurance under my own name or can I get it under my parents name? If I have to do it myself, what is the average rate for 18 year olds. I'll be 19 in December. I live in South Carolina. <When I get the car, do I have to get insurance immediately or do I wait until the temporarily dealer plate expire?""

INSURANCE QUESTION ?!?

18 year old, male, 2010 camaro ss with 4000 miles on it. had a few speeding tickets, no wrecks LOOKING FOR INSURANCE QUOTES PLEASE""

Can I open this kind of Insurance Business?

I was wondering if I would be able to offer a secondary insurance just for theft or total of a car. My sister has and resells auto insurance but my idea was to offer to modified imports. Or could offer a guarantee to pay difference from what I value the car then what their primary insurance pays? I know you need a license to sell insurance. Any input will help.

State Farm Insurance Bithday Gift?

Okay, Strange question- Every year I recieve a letter in the mail from State Farm Insurance Angency to celebrate my birthday. They say that if you stop by the office, they have a free birthday gift for you. My family and I figure it is probably nothing good, just a calendar or something cheesey, but we can't help wondering what it really is! If you know what it is, do you mind eh, tell me?? lol Thank You!! :o)""

If a person has previous damage from nicks on a car door and try to say you did it will insurance pay?

My next door neighbor is trying to say my car door nicked hers when I got out of the car. I saw nicks on her door before I even opened mine. Now she wants to turn this into the insurance and file a claim. This was on private property, so I am not sure about it. My insurance company says an adjuster will be able to tell how long she had damage. I do not have any paint transfer on my car at all. Just unsure if this will affect my rates.""

What kind of car details will lower the cost of insurance?

I have to buy a car and the insurance will be costing more than the actual car. Some factors I can't change like the fact it will be my first year with a full GB licence, my gender, age, where I park it, etc. But when considering the car I will buy, what factors might lower my insurance costs? Keeping in mind my price range for the car is 450-900 pounds, - what makes/models are hardest/easiest to break into? - what security devices would make a difference to the cost of my insurance, and how much would they cost? - what year of car is considered to be built more securely than in the past? (harder to break into...I understand older cars are easier to break into, but what is the general cut-off line of old ?) - style or colour of car? - any other factors?""

""I received a minor traffic infraction (65 in a 60 MPH zone) in WA, will my insurance go up?""

Minor traffic infraction, my first ticket. I'm 20. Also, what's a defferal and how much does it cost?""

I'm moving to Alaska and I need advice about health insurance.?

I'm moving to Alaska in January and will be needing health insurance. Is there any cheap insurance there or something you can get based on your income? I will be getting a job eventually,but I need something before that and if the job is only part-time. My dad had lived there all his life and I will be moving in with him. Does that make a difference with anything?""

How much would insurance be and oil changes?

I am thinking about buy a 2004 mustang convertible I am 16 it will be under my parents name how much would insurance be on it if it was a v6 and how much would it be for a v8 and how much would oil changes and tires be. And would a camaro of the same year would it be higher insurance or a 2004 challenger what one would be cheaper for insurance and we have the money for any but what one is cheaper for insurance and we live in nebraska in a small town

What is the definition of garage for car insurance purposes?

I would like to know the definition of garage for car insurance purposes, my car is in a building that is enclosed on three sides and has a locked sliding front garage door, i would ...show more""

Motorcycle insurance for 18yr old first vehicle(sportbike)?

I am considering purchasing a 2007 Kawasaki ninja 250r. I was wondering how much insurance would be for me(18) if it was my first vehicle . I have no prior car insurance history. And I just got a motor license.

Do i need full insurance if I finance a car?

I have 2500 I want to put down on a car that cost 5000 Do I need full insurance? I live in NY

Car insurance price for a Civic?

I am a 18 year old boy and I want to purchase a Honda Civic EX 4-door w/ a manual transmission. I am looking at a 2000-2005 or a 2006-2009 model. Could anybody give me an estimate of how much insurance is monthly? Thanks

How much do you pay for car insurance?

How much do you pay monthly for car insurance? I need to buy a car soon. How much should I budget monthly for car insurance?

Why are car insurance companies trying to make me go bankrupt?

Okay, this is extremely frustrating. I'm a 19 year old student, who works part time. I have all-state insurance full coverage, and I drive a 2001 toyota tacoma, which is paid off. And guess how much Allstate charges me every 6 months? $750!!!!!!!!!!!! That is absolutely ridiculous. These son of a bitches are totally ridiculous charging me that. I've never had a ticket, never been in an accident. And I don't care if i'm 19 that price is absolutely absurd for that car. I'm almost at the point where I just wanna go illegal and drive without insurance. I'm looking sleep every night over this I mean seriously do they think a 19 year old college student is made of money. And the funny thing is it's under my parents policy and its this much!!!""

cheap and affordable auto insurance

cheap and affordable auto insurance

Is there an insurance company that offers ONLY liability insurance for your home?

I am looking to buy liability insurance for my home property, not insurance for the replacement value. Is that possible? Has anyone done it? What insurance companies might offer it? thank you.""

Auto Insurance Company Lowballing me??? What do I do?

I have a 2001 porsche and this lady just tboned me going through a red light. Now My insurance company wants to offer me about 5000 dollars less then what I can replace it for. I sent them 10 ads in the area close to my car to show them, and they in turn had me appraised by an independent agency. This agency, BIG BLOCK, came back with a dozen examples that all had more miles then mine, and adjusted me .16 cents a mile. After doing depreciation calculations on their examples, the average dep per mile was .60 cents per mile!!!! This changes their evaluation by about 7-8000 dollars overall. Its been two weeks since they totaled my car. What should I do if they keep trying to low ball me?""

Is car insurance cheaper in Delaware the PA?

I am going to be moving from Pennsylvania to Delaware in the upcoming months. I will need to change my auto insurance and was wondering for anyone else that has made this move, is it cheaper to insure in Delaware(Wilmington) then in Pennsylvania(suburbs)?""

Hi what is the best 600cc sports bike for an 18 year old bearing in mind the insurance?

I need some help with choosing my first 600cc bike at the moment i ride a skygo 125cc (yes chinese lol) but i turn 18 in a couple of weeks and am looking to buy my first big bike. iv had a look at the cbr 600 but not to keen on the shape to be honest and dont really like the shape of the r6 so im looking at the kawasaki ninja / suzuki gsxr 600 and 750. any ideas would really help insurance would play a big part for me to so i need the cheapest really and what price would i be looking at ? if anyone has any other bikes to suggest i would apreciate that aswell ?

""Would insurance be more expensive for a Nissan Sentra, or a Ford Fiesta?""

I live in Pa, either car I get will be financed. I got an offer for the Sentra for 72 Months for $275 a month, and the lowest car insurance for that would be $180 so far for that. I did not yet go out to look for a Ford Fiesta, but from what I hear they are less expensive on car insurance. I aparently have til Monday to give the Dealers my decision before the deal drops which I highly doubt , I think they were just telling me that to pressure me into making a quicker decision/mistake. Please give me your advise. Can they really only give me a certain amout of time for the offer? They claimed it had to do with other customers possibly taking any of the money toward loans from the banks... I am new at this stuff and what is more expensive to have insurance on?""

What is a good health insurance provider in Texas?

My mom gets sick very often and would like to purchase some health insurance since she isn't eligible for MedicAid. What's a good health insurance provider in Texas?

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of deducatble do you have? Feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance and do you support obamacare?""

Would it be against the Law if you don't have this Obama Health Insurance?

Will you be put in jail or a fine if you don't have this proposed Health Coverage? What if someone is homeless which is alot of people with this economy, do we pay for them too? Who is this for anyway? Do you think the Insurance Co.'s will make it affordable because I seriously doubt that with the Government in their pocket!!?? If it passes would this be a huge windfall for the Insurance industry or what?? First the Banks and Now the Health Industry?""

Is it harder for a child who is disabled to get insurance?

Is it harder for a child who is disabled to get insurance?

Combine medicare with private insurance?

I have Anthem Blue Cross and expect to keep it after age 65. I believe Medicare has 4 parts, A thru D. Which parts should I get through existing private insurance and which parts thru Medicare? If I delay getting Medicare, later the costs will go up . How much up and which parts?""

Insurance + Payment options?

I would like to purchase a used car, but I would have to open up a loan. It would be good for me to open up a car loan to raise my credit a bit, since I have no prior loans out. Anyway, would I be able to buy the car on my name with the loan, and have one of my parents as the driver so that the insurance will not be so much since I am only 20? Or will I just have to have them buy it? How does this work?""

How much is an MRI without insurance?

How much is an MRI without: insurance, for the left leg, & in NY.""

Best Car Insurance for 17 year old.?

I'm a 17 year old male. My GPA is just below 3.0 last time I checked it. I think its somewhere around 2.5. I've had my license for almost 10 months now. I've been driving for a year and a half, no accidents. Nothing like that I'm a good driver than most crazed kids my age. With my job I currently make about 150 every two weeks I hope that goes up once summer comes around. My grandmother wants to put me on her car insurance and she told me that the car I plan on buying would have to be in her name, and I'm ok with that. When I buy it do I get both our names on the title. She has metlife and my mom has gieco which is the better of the two. And how can I work it out so they dont have to worry about it if i was on there insurance i would pay my part but i want the cheapest possible and im wondering what to expect for a down payment and monthly rates. Thank you If it helps I plan on buying a 2001 Chevy Cavalier and yes its a 2 door so my rates will probably be higher.""

How much does insurance go up in a wreck?

Im a 16 year old male, get good grades, and i drive a 91 firebird. i recently got in a crash, my car was fine but the other guy had a scrape along the side of his car etc. how much can i expect my insurance to go up?""

Young adult health insurance?

Young adult son cannot find job, not in college, has no health insurance - any ideas?""

Please explain how universal life insurance works in details?

is it the same as variable insurance wherein you can increase or decrease your insurance coverage for the same premium or universal life have a fix premium for a given age and amount and if you want to increase your coverage, you just add a yearly term insurance?How do you increase its coverage? Will it affects the premium if you want additional coverage? I understand variable life insurance has a range of minimum to maximum coverages for a given premium, is it the same with universal life?please explain in details how the entire process works.""

Car insurance for another person?

Hey guys, so I'm gonna get a car soon. I turned 18 back in January. My mom is going to buy me a car soon, but only if the insurance isn't that high. So, seeing as I really want the car I have in mind, I need to know some things about car insurance. My mom has gotten into an accident before also, plus the car in mind is a sports car. A Nissan 350z to be exact. So my question is, can I get insurance for that car even though it's under her name? I've never gotten into an accident before, and plan to get my license soon. Thanks!""

How to get the cheapest insurance for a 17 year old?

Does anybody know any tips that would lower my insurance? I was looking at prices of insurance for a 1L peugeot 107, which cost around 2000, and the prices were 4000+. My girlfriend was looking at prices for herself and the prices were around 1500 for a 5000 Vauxhall Corsa. Any help is appreciated.""

My younger borother owns a moped how much would it cost for me to be put on his insurance?

i have a full driving licence i only need to be put for for 2 month or so not even that

How much should i plan on spending on my car insurance for a 3rd offense DWI? Please refrain from ridicule...?

I know i will have to get an Interlock device which ranges from $50-$100 a month. i am wondering how much I will be paying monthly for car insurance. Liability only. And if anyone happens to know, what company do you think will offer the best pricing? Thank you for your understanding...""

How long does it take to get a check from renters insurance?

Lightning just struck and destroyed all of my electronics, other than the TV :-) Xbox, Modem, Router, Computer, Printer, And a few other things. How long will I have to be without entertainment? I don't have cable or satellite so this sucks.""

What is total extra premium car insurance?

Hi guys, I'm currently learning to drive (uk) hopefully pass my test in next couple of months, just looking up on insurance quotes, will mainly be driving my fathers car 1.8 petrol vauxhall, I'm 25. So was doing a quote with his insurance company (swift cover) and as I was going through it and this is what it says at the end total extra premium 248.48 Now what the hell does this mean? After this stage it was to confirm payment and obviously I never clicked that because I'm just looking for quotes. Is total extra premium what I'm going to pay for a year or is that just a one off payment?""

What type of car insurance is the best for first time drivers?

About to buy a car for the first time just wanna kno wat car insurance would be the best for a 16 year old

Which job has cheapest car insurance?

what job do i have to get to get real cheap car insurance

What is the car insurance cost for a 2005 or 06 saturn ion for a 16 year old or somewhere around that age?

this car is not that great but if you could give a better car with a low insurance cost that would be awsome.

cheap and affordable auto insurance

cheap and affordable auto insurance

True or false? I can save money on car insurance by choosing a higher deductible?

True or false? I can save money on car insurance by choosing a higher deductible?

Auto insurance filing question in WA?

About 5 months ago, my vehicle was hit in a parking lot leaving a big dent on the driver's side. The person who hit the car was kind enough to stay and contact his insurance company to file a claim. His insurance company appraised the damage, sent me a check, and told me it's mine to do with as I wish (I could keep it or use it for repairs). I decided to keep it and not repair my vehicle. Now, I'm looking at selling my car but I would like to repair it first to increase its value. Could I file a claim with my own insurance company since it was not my fault? Would I have to pay the deductible? The deductible is about $500 and the estimated damages from the previous appraisal was at $2500.""

How much would insurance be on a Mustang GT for a 16 year old driver?

Please give me a price range. Not any comments like a lot or to much. Please give me a price range. Many thanks.

Whats cheaper car insurance or moped insurence?

im 20 and doing my lessons soon i do want to have a car but they are really expensive to run , do u think i should just stick to a moped and wait till i get a lil older plus how much on average is it to run a moped compered to a car including petrol+ insurance Only:)""

Information about health insurance in indiana?

I need some best and cheapest health insurance company . Any site would be helpful .

Do I need car insurance once I get my driver's license?

Can I just get my driver's license and not drive the vehicle? Because I know if you drive a car you need insurance, but what if I just have my license and am not driving anything? Also, I heard about this family policy that if I'm driving a parent's car with my driver's license I'm covered under THEIR insurance? I am not talking about a learner's permit, I'm talking about an actual driver's license. I can get my license on December 4th. Thanks for your answers!""

In a california DUI license suspension how do i get my license back?

its been a year that got a DUI in California and got my license suspended, and im just wondering how do i get my license back? do i just show up to DMV? i never got sent to court so by law the case gets dismissed after a year. so how do i go about getting my license back. ANSWER FAST!! :D""

Who offers cheapest auto insurance for 25 year old males in la?

give insurance estimates

Car insurance running out?

My car insurance 'inception date' is the 7th of May. Can I drive my car until midnight on the 7th?

Driving without auto insurance?

what are the concusguences

What is long term care insurance?

Please help me with this one. My parents are in badly need of assistance. I found this reliable website http://www.infolongtermcare.org/what-is-long-term-care. However, I need more help as much as possible.""

What are some individual health insurance companies?

I have applied to Blue Cross, CAA, Manulife and Sunlife for my epilepsy medication that is costing me way to much per month. But each insurance company excludes any medication for my seizure disorder. What are some other health insurance companies that will accept me (hopefully)?""

""How much do you pay for car insurance in dorchester,ma ?

2006 Nissan Murano SL AWD or similar car.

My car insurance went up 50 more dollars a month. They said it's an increase in Florida ?

Do any one know where I can get some good reasonable car insurance

Would having a Dodge Charger raise your insurance cost?

I'm almost 17 and got my liscense a few months ago and I can get pretty much any reasonble car i want. I'm leaning on getting a used charger (not new cos im prob gonna reck it or at least mess it up). I was just wonder will it raise my insurance up just bc its a Charger? (I already know my age and new driver will be more expensive)

National insurance Number?

is it possible to get a job without requiring National insurance Number?

Average cost for insurances for a service company?

im looking to start a business, though im wondering how much insurance will cost me monthly. I will be needing Commericial Property insurance, Insurance for equipment, Business for insurance, Auto commericial insurance, Workers comp, General liabilty, Commericial umbrella There will be 4-6 employees 2-3 trucks a commericial establishment for business equipment so if someone can give me a ball park range on how much this may run all in a consolidated number thanks""

How much insurance cost for 350z?

Im 18 and i have a clean record and what does the insurance cost in wisconsin ,Port Washington . For each insurance company if you can tell me please .""

What is the average monthly insurance payment on a BMW 1998 323is 3 series coupe?

I'm wanting a buy 1998 323is 3 series coupe with 140,xxx miles on it for only $2,900. It's in amazing condition inside and out. My daily commute is only about 4 miles total ...show more""

Motorcycle Insurance?

I'm 20 years old and just passed my written test and now I'm going to buy a motorcycle that I can train on to my skills test. How much can the insurance cost more or less???

Insurance related question?

I am planning to take a savings plan insurance in SBI Life Insurance for tax benefits and for my future benefit also. Is SBI Life Insurance reliable or shall i consider for some other insurance company? If you think other Insurance company, please suggest some good company names. And do you think my option for saving plan is good or shall i look for some other plan? Your suggestions are welcome and thanks for your time.""

Cheapest saturn sky insurance for a 16 year old?

I am about to turn sixteen and i was wndering how much insurance would cost for a Saturn sky?

Changing car on insurance mid-policy?

I'm getting a new car on Wednesday, a Vauxhall Astra, and still have 5 months left on my insurance, which I paid in full up front for Nissan Micra. I phoned up my insurance today to ask how much it would be to change the car on my policy. To change the car it would be 300. I've got quotes from other insurers that are cheaper than this for the year! To cancel there would be 2 fees adding up to 95! Is this right? What is the best thing to do? Can I run my insurance while I don't own the car as this would be the cheapest way to do it? The car is going as a trade-in to a garage who will probably just be using it for parts and scrap. Thanks for any advice :)""

Can anyone tell me any health insurance companies that cover fertility treatments ?

i haven't started fertility treatments yet so i have no prob going to a new endocrinologist, gyno or clinic ect - because they will be new either way ! of coarse a insurance that covers the most fertility treatments would be best but just tell me the name and what treatments if any that you know they cover ( thanks in advance)""

Does www.canyonlandsaz.com have the best auto insurance rates?

Does www.canyonlandsaz.com have the best auto insurance rates?

cheap and affordable auto insurance

cheap and affordable auto insurance

Will car insurance pay for the following:?

I caused a damage to my car the other day by trying to pass between a truck parked in one lane of the road and the rest of the road. In another words there was some road works going on and only very tiny space for cars to pass. When trying to get through very slowly, I got stucked and when trying to reverse I broke my front bumper and done some other small cosmetic damages to the side of the vehicle. I am fully insured, my insurance is going to expire in about 2 months and I never made a claim before. I have bad experience with insurance companies in general and now am not sure how to follow and make insurance company to pay for the damages. There are some other damages done to the vehicle, for instance, a small stone from vehicle driving in front of me hit my windscreen and caused a small crack. I have no idea how to follow up and make the ins.company to pay. I am fed up with all travel, health and other insurance companies that just make excuses and never pay.""

Do you need private insurance?

if you have to go in a nursing home for a long time does medicare cover this,permatently or do you have to have longterm care insurance.we pay-out 1600.00 dollars every 4 months.please some answer thanks.iam 89 spouse is 86 thanks""

Car insurance?

lets say a 21 year old person goes to a car insurance company and is quoted $2000 for full coverage auto insurance. how much do you think this person will be charged at the same company at 25 years old?

Should people be required to have health care coverage like they do for car insurance?

That way if someone's not covered the hospital can refuse to treat them just like a car insurance company can refuse to cover someone who didn't have coverage with them. Problem solved, no need for the gov to intervene. Only those over 65 years old should be allowed to apply for medicaid, all other working age bodies should buy it themselves especially if they can all afford monthly cell phone and internet bills and clothes and vacations and stuff.""

Do I need auto insurance if I don't have a car or plan on driving?

I want to get my license because it is something that I need to get out of the way now. I don't have a car or plan on driving until I can even afford auto insurance but this summer is the only time I have free to get my license. I'm 20 and in college.

Financing a new car and with no insurance?

could I finance a new car then have it sit in my drive way with no plates or registration to avoid paying for insurance ontill I pay the car off

Proof of insurance?

My friend wants to use my car for his driving test here in california. I know the DMV will ask for proof of insurance. I have the insurance card in my glovebox, and am under my parents insurance, but im not the actual insurance holder with my name on the card. Im just a driver under there insurance. Is my friend still able to use my car, even though im not the primary insurance holder, just a driver on the policy? Do the parents have to be there in order for it to take place?""

Car insurance help please?

I have just passed my driving test and have a car, but the car is in my dads name as he bought it for me, so he is the registered owner. Now I'm worried about the insurance as people have said its illegal to put my dad down as the main driver and me as a named driver. He his another car and a van insured but they aren't on the same policy, they are separate and will be from this one. Will it be okay to do this? I'm not going to be using the car very much and it will cost me an extra grand and a half to have my own name which I just can't afford :(""

What is a good affordable health plan to get?

I am a single 25 year old healthy male. Are there any truly affordable health plans out there for me? And don't say that $300 a month is affordable, because its not. I don't need any major medical coverage. I haven't had insurance for 6 years and haven't been to the doctor in those six years. However, my eyesight isn't great, so vision coverage would be good. I also want dental coverage as well. Any suggestions?""

Why am I getting such high auto insurance quotes?

I'm really frustrated. I wanted to finally get auto insurance next month. But the free quotes I'm getting on insurance websites (such as Progressive, AllState and Geico) is WAY too expensive! My brothers insurances were always like $160-$180 for 6 months. But I just got a quote from AllState for over $500 for 6 months and $381 for 6 months from Progressive. That's NUTS! I have a 1995 Ford F-150 pickup. And sure, it's bigger than my brothers Ford Ranger and my other brothers Ford Aerostar van, but still.....why is it THAT MUCH MORE expensive? I'm in my 30's and have never had an accident or traffic voilation of any kind within the 14 years I've been driving. I guess none of that matters. All I know is that I'll NEVER be able to afford insurance with quotes like I'm getting.""

""Adding a driver to car insurance, average cost?""

if you add another driver to your insurance like your brother, or sister or son, who is a new driver, and your insurance costs $350 for six months already. how much do you think would be additional cost to this insurance as a result of this change? if you can share ur experience it would be nice. i know it all depends on the history of the new driver, but say the new driver did not have any accidents or anything. i need to get a general impression... Thanks in advance.""

""A life insurance company sells a $250,000 1-year term life insurance policy to a 20-year-old female?""

for $200. According to the National Vital Statistics Report. 56(9), the probability that the female survives the year is 0.999544. Compute and interpret the expected value of this policy to the insurance company - I also have to find the probability that the company has to pay the female Im suppose to get .000456 but don't know how to get this?""

What the average of a male 25 year old would pay for car insurance?

i planning on buying a dodge charge 2013 and getting my own car insurances i want to know around how much i would pay i'm been driving for 6 years already but with my parents insurances. but now i want to get my own car insurance

Insurance (probability)?

An auto insurance company has 10,000 policy holders. Each policy holder is classified as.. - young or old - male or female - married or single Of these policyholders, 30000 are young, 4600 are male, and 7000 are married. the policyholders can also be classified as 1320 young males, 3010 married males, and 1400 young married persons. Finally, 600 of the policyholders are young married males. How many of the company's policyholders are young, female, and single?""

What auto insurance company take people with only permit?

I was told that there are insurance companies that take people like me, without a driver's license. But I've been calling a lot of insurance companies and start getting frustrated. Please, can someone tell me what are the companies take people like me? Thank you so much!""

Motorcycle insurance?

How much is insurance? I am 15 1/2 (male) and I want to get a ninja 250r. I live in california, I get good grades and I will take the basic riders course ( I hear good grades and the brc give insurance discounts).""

What is the positive & negetive aspect of Term insurance?

Why insurance agent do not show interest towards term insurance. Why they insist on ULIP only.

Car insurance - UK

My provisonal license will be valid in 2 months when im 17 and once i take my driving test and pass it, i plan on getting a car. The thing is that insurance will be quite high as i would have just passed my test and im only 17. My question is: If i get the car and register it under my mums (or dads) name and put the insurance under their names would it be cheaper? Bear in mind that my parents have about 16 years of no claims bonusus too, thanx xxx""

Insurance question for sport bike?

Ok so I drive already and im going to be 18 very soon. I'm thinking about getting a sport-bike for college mainly because they have very good mpg and are fairly cheap.Once i get my m1 licence im thinking on getting a kawasaki ninja 250 or a suzuki gsxr 600. How much would insurance cost extra on the gixxer than for the ninja, thanks !!!""

A question about car insurnace?

Hello, I just paid my car insurance......the lady said I should get my own insurance so I can start getting my own discounts , I am 30 years old and both my sisters (32 and 28) are on my mom and dad's insurance plan too, we get a multi line and multi car discount that adds up to about $40 dollars every 6 months for me.....I was in a hurry so I didn't really ask why but was wondering about it after I left.....I pay $112 every 6 months so $40 extra would be kind of crazy wouldn't it? Just wondering why......thank you.......""

What if I upgrade my car insurance because someone threatens to mess up my car?

An old roommate stole a lot from me the day he moved out. I've been waiting 5 days for the police to take the report (they're busy according to them). In the mean time I contacted him telling him to return my stuff or I'll involve the police, and he said if I do that he's going to f*ck up my car. Right now I have basic insurance but after he told me that I want to upgrade my insurance just in case. My question is what happens if I upgrade and he does mess up my car? If I file a police report about the threat can my car insurance deny the claim? What if the police are still too busy and he does this before I get to file a report? What should I do? I already started parking 2 blocks from my apartment.""

Car insurance after drink driving ban.?

hi, i was banned for 18month for drink driving when i was 16 ( i know very stupid) i am now 25 years old soon to pass my test how high will my car insurance be what would be the best, cheapest car for insurance, please constructive answers I know drink driving is VERY BAD i was 16 and very stupid, thanks for any answers.""

Should I get car insurance in my name or parents?

I'm 16. A lot of people are telling my parents to get my car insurance in their name and not tell them i'm the primary driver because it will be so much cheaper. Does that mean if I get in my first wreck they won't cover it or they'll just raise it after?

Price of insurance on a scooter for a 17 year old?

Ive been looking at a Pulse Lightspeed 2 125cc Sports Scooter Automatic Twist and Go, is it a good first scooter for a 17 year old and how much is the insurance around. If not a good scooter could you give some examples of good ones in the comments.""

Do illegal immigrants get health insurance?

What insurance and how?

cheap and affordable auto insurance

cheap and affordable auto insurance

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/state-farm-car-insurance-people-jose-white/"

[zitak]

My husband and I just spent 3 days in Madrid, Spain. It took almost a full day to get there with all kinds of flight issues and such but I was determined to not let that get to me and decided to put mind over matter and make the most out of the short time there.

Our hotel was north of the center of the city in the Conde Duque district,  but walking distance to almost everything. After settling in to our room we took a stroll (even though it was raining) to meet our daughter and her boyfriend at a local restaurant that they had found. On the way there, we spotted numerous fun looking tapas restaurants and bars. It seemed likely that this would be another eating holiday.  I was quite tired and not hungry after the big travel day so just had a cocktail before we crashed for the night.

The next day we had  a delicious breakfast at Federal Café, a super popular place opened by a couple of Australian expats who first started one  in Barcelona. It’s full of lots of healthy and tasty options and excellent coffee. I loved my avocado toast with poached egg and felt energized and ready for the day.

Before heading to Madrid, we did do a bit of research and found a company called Devour Madrid that does some amazing tours around the city. While I hadn’t actually booked anything with them, we arranged to meet with one of their guides for a chat. Luke Darracott is an Englishman living in Madrid who  loves all kinds of food, wine and traveling. He’s also a tv host for a variety of food/travel shows and so I was pretty certain we’d hit it off.  I showed Luke a list of tapas places our wonderful friend in Almeria, Maria Virgina sent us and he loved her selection. At the top of the list, was Casa Toni so we made our plan to go there that night.

While the rain was holding off for a bit, we strolled over to see the Royal Palace, one of Madrid’s main attractions. There was too long a line to go in so instead we headed over to the Sorolla Art Gallery, a recommendation from Luke. It’s a beautiful house with sculptures, ceramics, furniture and jewelry as well as the artist Joaquin Sorolla y Bastida’s paintings.

As dinner is quite late in Spain, with most people eating after 10PM we first scheduled to see the flamenco show at Casapatas. Starting at about 8PM it was an hour and half of almost nonstop music and dancing and was rather exhilarating. By now, the tapas places around were open and starting to fill up so we quickly made our way to Casa Toni where we were taken to a table upstairs and promptly brought a bottle of local Madrid wine while waiting for our food. This place is known by the locals to have some of the best traditional tapas such as pigs ears and lamb intestines and so, yes, I had to try them. I’m not a fan of the pigs ears but the lamb intestines that were fried and wrapped around a vine were really delicious. We also had some chorizo (some of the best I’ve ever tasted) and a really good eggplant dish, patatas bravas (fried potato cubes with a spicy sauce)and some prawns with garlic.

We woke up to more rain the next day and so decided to visit the city’s History museum to get a better understanding of Madrid’s evolution as an urban city. It’s a small and easy museum to navigate and also free to enter.

We then took the metro to the La Latina district to check out the Mercado de La Cebada, a 2 story  indoor market full of stalls with meats, vegetables, fruits and seafood as well as some newer wine and beer bars and where on Saturday, the seafood aisles become a crowded and festive eating and drinking extravaganza. Thankfully, Luke met us and handled the ordering and found us a space so we could take part in this local happening. We had a very nice local Rueda wine (all of 7 euros) with mussels, octopus and delicious white anchovies.

Finding out how much I love cheese, Luke then took us to a tapas bar nearby that had an amazing assortment of cheese along with all kinds of local wines by the glass. In fact, the place called Almacen de Vino was actually a storehouse for wine that used to hold wine in casks and then sell it to the locals. The tiny place was packed and the smell of cheese wafted all around. I got to taste about 3 different types while sipping some nice monastrell.

Back on the metro, we now headed to one of Madrid’s best wine shops, Lavinia, located in the elegant Salamanca district. This large store has a restaurant upstairs where we sat down with a glass of sherry and some complimentary tapas before I browsed around and found the sherries that I ended up purchasing. After a full day of almost non stop eating and drinking, it was a simple snack and drink before heading off to bed.

The final day in Madrid was cold and windy but thankfully, not raining. Deciding it would be a good day to shop we headed to the biggest department store in Spain (and in fact, Europe, El Corte Ingles.  We went to the one on Plaza Callao since we heard it had an entire floor dedicated to gourmet food and drink. The Gourmet Experience, as its called, is on the 9th floor and has an amazing outdoor terrace with beautiful views of Madrid. We managed to get some photos before rain began again and browsed the amazing display of hams, cheeses, olive oils and other Spanish delicacies. If only I could take it all back home with me.

Heading out to the Gran Via, we popped in and out of shops until we were hungry for a bite. The rain had picked up, once again, and we needed to find a place in a hurry. Fortunately, we were right by a pretty place called La Carmen in the Plaza del Carmen and found ourselves in this friendly, stylish and very comfortable restaurant. The menu was diverse and reasonable and we shared some excellent roasted pork ribs, bull’s tail risotto, a cheese and sausage platter, spicy potatoes and the popular, fried squid sandwich. A couple of glasses of albarino and I was completely satisfied.

The rain had now stopped so we made the plan to walk back to our hotel. On the way, my daughter spotted an authentic looking Vienese café and we reenergized with coffee and hot chocolate.

We made a stop on our way to see the Temple of Debod, an Egyptian monument dating back to the 2nd century BC. It was gift to Madrid  and reconstructed there in 1972. It’s located in La Montana park near the Plaza de Espana that has more fabulous views of the city and surrounding mountains.

Our final meal in Madrid was at the charming and cozy El Jardin Secreto (Secret Garden), for a light dinner and a couple of glasses of wine. My husband had pig trotters that were super moist and tasty and I had a crepe filled with cheese that was simply okay. While the food might not have been the best in my opinion, the cute atmosphere was worth the visit.

The next morning, we had a quick bite at the hotel, filling up on Spanish ham and cheese before our easy taxi ride to the airport.

The three days were complete and I am thrilled that this short trip was so gratifying.

Cheers and all the best,

Zita

            Meandering through Madrid My husband and I just spent 3 days in Madrid, Spain. It took almost a full day to get there with all kinds of flight issues and such but I was determined to not let that get to me and decided to put mind over matter and make the most out of the short time there.

[benjamingarden]

Holiday Gift Guide for Homesteaders (and Chicken Lovers)

The 2017 City Girl Farming Holiday Gift Guide for Homesteaders and Chicken Lovers

It’s that time of year again when we all scratch our heads to figure out what to give to to those we love. I’ve put together a few things to help you out this year. Gifts focused on the chicken lovers, the gardeners and the general homesteaders (and folks who long to be homesteaders but aren’t there yet) in your life.  Here I present to you the 2017 Holiday Guide for homesteaders and chicken lovers on your list. May it get your holiday creative juices flowing!

Holiday Gift Ideas for Chicken Lovers

Because I am one of those chicken lovers, let’s start with them first. There is tons of stuff on the market these days that targets chicken fanatics (because our ranks are growing). However, not every chicken-themed object is a good gift.  Here are some I’ve  come across that I think are fun, cool, or somehow unique. Some of them I’ve used as gifts for the chicken lovers in MY life and they’ve been a hit.

Chicken Wine Cork: Okay, this isn’t just another chicken-themed thing. Well, actually, it IS, but it’s hysterical! I’ve bought them for people who have LOVED them. Remember the rubber chicken from childhood? This is that, in miniature form, crafted to fit inside an open bottle of wine. (Bonus: It’s a great conversation starter at parties!) Get it here.

Chicken Stickers or Stamp for Egg Cartons: This is something I’d LOVE, but would feel guilty buying for myself. There’s lots of options out there from stickers to stamps. You can even get them at the City Girl Farming Zazzle store here.

Other Customizable Chicken Items: As a matter of fact, there’s all sorts of customizable chicken related gifts over at the City Girl Farming Store. Mugs, T-shirts. Pillows. Tote Bags. And more. Check out the whole selection here.

Chicken Forage Seeds: I love these for my girls. It’s a variety pack of seeds (Annual Ryegrass, Perennial Ryegrass, Buckwheat, Flax, Millet, Forage Peas, Red Clover, Alfalfa ) specially blended for chickens. They also make for a great bee garden with a variety of cute blooming flowers creating an easy to grow, blooming garden to make everyone happy. My girls LOVE it. Here’s proof (if you look close you can see several hens enjoying the garden:

Chicken Coloring Book: Creative Chickens Coloring Book was a project I modeled after my own flock, combining my quirky personality with their whacky behavior. There are 20 original, hand drawn whimsical chicken drawings to color.  Great for children and adults. You can get it here.

Gifts for the Garden Geeks

Permaculture Cards: This deck of playing cards was thought up by a guy passionate about permaculture. He took his idea to Kickstarter and got it funded and now they’re available. Each card is full of fun facts and great photos to help educate the players of the card game.

Gardening Apron: This isn’t just any gardening apron! The Roo Joey Apron is the ultimate gardening apron with a huge pouch to fill and a chute to empty the pouch without any mess (or residue left behind).

Seeds: Okay this might seem kinda  boring to you, but think about a gardener! SEEDS are everything (and they’re somewhat addictive). There are some great ideas out there. For example, how about an Heirloom Survival Seed Kit?  If you’re worried about being to specific on your selection, what about a gift certificate from a good seed company like Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds or Territorial Seed Company and then they can pick out what they want. (Trust me: a gardener never tires of seeds…of trying new seeds…of stocking up on old favorites…a Seed Catalog is like the toy catalog for kids. Bright, shiny, and oh so alluring.)

Heirloom Beans: This is dinner and seeds all at the same time! Rancho Gordo sells a wide variety of heirloom beans (for eating). Your garden lover can sample savory meals all winter long featuring hard to find heirloom varieties of beans. If they save some along the way, they’ll be able to plant their favorites in the garden next spring. Eat now. Eat Later. What’s not to love about that? (Not to mention that Heirloom beans are WONDERFUL. If you want to know more about them, check out my blog post on the subject–I’m an heirloom bean addict!)

Kid Gardeners: Cute seed kits (that come in egg cartons) and are a variety of themes (pizza, salsa, etc.) but my favorite is the Summer Fun seed kit that contains seeds to grow Birdhouse Gourds, Luffa Sponges, Sensitive Plant, Spaghetti Squash, Big Orange Pumpkins and Mammoth Sunflowers.

Holiday Gift Ideas for Homesteaders (and Homesteader-wannabes):

InstaPot: I LOVE LOVE mine! I’ve been wanting one for over a year and finally got one. I’m not disappointed. If you’re not familiar with the Instapot, it basically does everything: Pressure cooking, slow cooking, sauteing, baking, a warmer, a rice cooker and some models have a yogurt maker. Pretty much everything you need in a kitchen appliance (except for still needing a good blender!) There’s different models, sizes and options all designed to make life easier! Here’s one to look at.

There’s also great InstaPot cookbooks and ideas galore as well as much inspiration on Pinterest for what to cook and how to use this amazing all-in-one machine.

Fermenting Kit: Give the gift of good gut health with a fermenting kit.

Sprouting Kit: Another great gift for good health is a sprouting kit.

A Big Basket of Organic Fruits and Nuts: Even better if you can buy it local.

Local Handmade Gifts: Think soaps, local honey, hand knit items, etc.

Fatwood: I’ve heard people talking about Fatwood, but only recently experienced it. Fat wood is wood kindling that has been made from the base of the tree, where the resin is more highly concentrated. You can light a fire WITHOUT paper or kindling just with 2 tiny pieces of Fatwood. It’s amazing! Plus, added bonus is that it’s all natural. No added chemicals or anything else. And they’re sustainable. They take the stumps from trees that have already been cut and put them to good use.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE Fatwood. I’m hooked!

Essential Oils: Give the gift of health (and all sorts of DIY homesteading solutions). I use essential oils daily, both inside and outside the house. I use them on the chickens, too, when they’re sick or wounded. It makes so many things much more simple. And healthy. And non-toxic. If you’re interested in the kind I use, check this out. Or message me. I’d be happy to help you out.

For Homesteading Kids:

Don’t Throw it, Grow it: 68 Windowsill Plants from Kitchen Scraps: This book ROCKS! And it opens the curiosity for kids (and adults!) to see what will grow from the kitchen. (Think: the spices in the cupboard that are still in seed form (not ground), the end of the celery you chop off, etc.) Great book for curious children to open them up to a world of gardening.

Educational (and fun!) Board Game: Wildcraft Herbal Adventure Game. This is a cooperative board game that actually teaches about edible herbs and their uses, focusing on medicinal and first aid situations.

DIY Projects and Time

Lastly, it’s not all about what you can BUY. Sometimes the gift of TIME is the best gift of all and there’s hundreds of ways to do it. For example:

Who wouldn’t love free babysitting so they could go out one night?

Or help painting/fixing/cleaning something around the house/homestead?

What about ‘gift certificate’ for an afternoon of weeding or helping muck out the coop (you might enjoy it more than you think).

I have a friend who just gave a YEAR OF SOUP to someone.  Once a month she makes a big pot of soup and delivers it to her recipient. Mmmm. That sounds wonderful.

Get creative. It doesn’t have to cost anything but a little time.

Or, if you’re into DIY projects, things that I make that are oft-requested items are these:

Lemon Curd

Salsa Verde

Blackberry Jalapeno Jam

(All of the above recipes include canning instructions but don’t let that put you off if you’re not into canning–you can make it fresh and deliver it in a nice jar for refrigerator storage, or put it in cute packages and freeze it.)

Make Pine Cone Fire Starters

Another fun idea I’ve done is make Snowmen in a Jar kits for kids. They were a big hit. (And I even include labels you can print!)

Snowman in a Jar Kit

No matter what you do, nor what you celebrate, when it comes down to it, it’s all about your relationship with people. Hopefully this holiday gift guide for homesteaders and chicken lovers will get your creative juices flowing and you’ll think of even more perfect things than I’ve listed here. Have fun.  And happy holidays!

Holiday Gift Guide for Homesteaders (and Chicken Lovers) was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)