#this specific piece was born from a late night vc

[jae-in-a-trenchcoat]

Idk how to explain this but this is partially @mangosaurus’s fault

[princessofprocrastination]

Just A Bet (GeorgeNotFound)

MASTERLIST

pairing : georgenotfound / george x reader - dreamwastaken/dream / clay x reader

summary : you’re just a bet to him. that is, until he realizes that you’re someone with a title. he scrambles to pick up your broken pieces, but he doesn’t realise that he’s too late. (angst) (trigger warning) (happy ending)

a/n : here’s sorta a little AU for you guys, don’t take any of this seriously, some things in this are clearly made up. side note ; holy shit i have more than a 100 followers right now. thank you so so much. 

everyone has probably dreamt of being a princess, a real one. for example, when the movie ‘the princess diaries’ came out, people wanted to be mia thermopolis and rule genovia. 

sounds like a dream, that is, to be going to high school and have plenty of paparazzi’s chasing you, or to be able to be recognized everywhere. 

in reality, it is the complete opposite of living the dream. you could barely walk out without being recognized if you didn’t cover up your face in some way. you were restricted to do many things, even to just hang out with your friends to grab lunch. 

to other people, they might just tell you to suck it up, that in the end of the day, you’re royalty, and that these are only tiny problems. 

you agreed, sure. but you did want to smell the fresh flowers outside. you wanted to be able to get food from wherever, with whoever without people’s prying eyes. 

you just wanted freedom. 

to whom might be reading this might be confused. you’re a princess. just like the movie, yes. princess of saudi arabia, you are. 

you are fairly young, still in your twenties. most people your age are out having fun going on a girls night, or still studying for their degrees, or even working right now. 

but you were prohibited to leave the castle. you were told to leave on the queen’s orders, only during meal times.

some days, you really liked it, being a princess. if you weren’t being egoistical, you would say that your face really did suit the royal title. 

you didn’t have to leave your room to make stacks of money. but the problem with that was, what would you do with the money if you couldn’t leave the house?

so you went on the internet. you settled on the internet. with the queen’s permission, of course. 

sure, she can be strict like all the time, but she tried her best to give you your freedom. so she let you have social media accounts. you being you, the public immediately found your accounts. 

you couldn’t find new friends, they were too scared to come across you. so you just entertained yourself. 

this isn’t bragging, but a lot of people knew who you were, but that doesn’t mean everyone does.

since you barely had a childhood, with being born and raised royal, you entertained yourself watching minecraft youtubers. for some reason, it calmed you. 

dream team, as you called the group, caught your eye. you watched all of their videos, caught up with every single live streams of theirs, even followed their instagrams and twitters. 

one morning, when you woke up, you found your instagram notifications fuller than other days. you were fairly confused. that is, until you realised that the whole of dream team had followed you back. 

they definitely know who you are and what you do now, right? they have a large fanbase, surely, they would’ve told the boys. 

your followers, since seeing the boys follow you, have told you to start playing games. you didn’t disappoint them. you asked your parents if you could and they granted you permission to do whatever you wanted. 

they told you “this would entertain the public and love you even more.” and smiled at you. you thought maybe they hit themselves in the head today with the leniency they gave you. but you pushed that thought. maybe they thought you have grown old enough. 

valkyrae, a streamer on twitch had reached out to you after knowing about your gaming desires. she asked if you wanted to join her and her group to play among us together. 

you almost immediately agreed and the rest of her friends welcomed you in with opened arms. 

your mum gave you one condition, that you had to follow in order to film yourself playing games. that is, if you kept yourself poised and respectable. you agreed to her shenanigans and started to play with rae. 

playing with her meant that you met countless different content creators, such as corpse husband and pokimane. they all were super nice to you, even when you had told them that they didn’t have to be nice to you because of your title. 

soon you had found yourself in an amazing group of friends and you felt great about yourself. 

you and rae had sustained such amazing friendship that she had came over to your house multiple times for meals. 

you’d text her “come over to my house, let’s eat lunch.” 

and she’d reply with “your castle you mean?” she jokes around. 

your friendship was loved by many people out there. 

one thing you didn’t say was that not everyone was obligated to know who you are, which then happens to be funny to see when they did end up finding out who you are. 

just the fact that they show such shock to their faces, and the tone in their voice changes. 

“holy fuck, she’s royal.” toast says as he came back from googling your name to know more about how you came about in a game of among us. 

“i’m so sorry for the past rounds.” he apologizes for the time he accuses you for no reason.

“please treat me the same way you used to, i’m just y/n when i’m playing games, definitely not a princess.” you told him. 

you didn’t have a big ego, although your parents did. “they need to know that you’re important.” they told you, but it never stuck to you. you wanted to be respected as a person, for your personalities, not because of a stupid title you were born in. 

sykkuno, rae and you had decided to make an smp, where you three would start building things for fun and stream it. 

you three had enough fun until it got boring, for you to start asking your other friends to join. the first person you offered to tour your little world was corpse since you and him had clicked so well. 

because you started playing minecraft and streaming it, it got the attention of minecraft youtubers. and for some reason, the seventeen year old, tommyinnit had found you interesting enough to talk to you. 

with tommy being that close to you, you attracted tubbo and wilbur soot, as well.

“i am in a vc with a princess.” tommy had said on stream when you two decided to play minecraft along with tubbo and wilbur. 

sure, the teenage boy got a little annoying at times, but you found it entertaining and funny. of course, tommy being tommy, he’d ask slightly personal questions about how royalty works in saudi arabia. 

not that he knew how royalty works in general, anyways. 

“the queen is still my favourite woman, but you come in close second.” he told you once. you laughed at that. 

no big title could stop you from fangirling the moment the man, dream itself had sent you a donation, and then later sending you a direct message. 

“let’s play minecraft together soon, seen me your discord.” he dmed you one day. of course you complied. 

for some reason, you never had the chance to play with george, and you played minecraft with sapnap and dream separately, never together. not that you were complaining. 

you decided on a more chill and laid back stream on that specific day, not really feeling like going on a minecraft server or play among us with your bestfriends when you got a text from an unknown number. 

hey. they sent

who’s this? you sent a text back.

my bad, this is george. they sent a text back to you.

holy shit. why would george text you. sure, you have played minecraft and among us with him sometimes but he isn’t one to give out his number so this was weird to you. 

although you consider to be close to the entirety to the dream team, you often tried to avoid texting them, especially outside of streaming. you didn’t want it to be awkward or tense. 

surprisingly, as your conversation with george lengthened, it became less and less awkward. the more you two texted, the more you felt like you and him had been friends for the longest time. 

being the princess, raised in a castle meant that you didn’t really have a social life. other than being put together with some prince of another country in hopes you’ll fall in love with them or marry them, you haven’t really had a legitimate boyfriend. not even a crush. 

to you, the princes in the world can be arrogant, snobby. they act like they are the most important thing in the world, that if they walk in a restaurant, everyone was to drop all their work for other people to entertain them. 

sure, this could just be the way that they were raised, but you didn’t want that in a man, a husband. it wouldn’t kill to be a little humble. 

princes are also a bore. they live practically the same lifestyle as you. conversations were never interesting, always the usual. 

to summarise this, since you and george have been talking and texting, you had fallen for him. hard. and it seems like he’s feeling the same way, just that the both of you hadn’t really said anything. 

-

DREAM’S POV

being really close friends with someone, more than one person, bestfriends, that is, meant that we had a group chat together. 

nothing constructive was ever said, only boys being boys. 

nick was the one to bring it up. and since he is the youngest, he sure does say some stupid things. 

dude, you should try to get in y/n’s pants. nick asked george in the groupchat.

there was a running joke between the nick and i. george lives under a rock, basically. when everyone was walking on eggshells around you, trying not to offend a princess, he never really cared. 

and that was when nick and i found out that george had no clue you held such a title on your pretty little head. 

you are a beautiful girl, no doubting that. i was sure that many people, even before you started streaming had a major crush on you. george definitely fits right in. he was practically vomiting hearts when he first saw you. 

it was meant to be funny. it was never meant to go this far. nick didn’t mean for his little bet to break a heart, let alone a princess. 

but he did. well, technically george did. he was so brutal with it. he toyed with your feelings, like he had no care in this world. 

no one would’ve guessed that the little cute, short george would do something as bad as he did. 

and now, no one can find you. no one. 

you were there, smiling in front of your camera one day and you were gone the other. just gone. no one knew where you went. 

granted, you are royal. it must not be hard to get people to hide you. but at the same time, you had major reporters trying to find you. and they couldn’t. what does that leave us? 

where did you go? 

come back. 

and although i know you want to hear this from george instead of his friends, you won’t. because he probably doesn’t.

we miss you. 

please just text us, we need to know you’re safe. 

-

YOUR POV

you left. you had to. it had been extremely humiliating. 

you didn’t think someone as sweet as george would do that, it all happened so quick. 

you had flown to england to meet him. he encouraged you to. it felt amazing to leave your hometown, you’ve lived there all your life. you definitely needed to fresh air. 

it took a lot of convincing your parents to let you fly to england. without a doubt, you knew that the only way you’ll get to leave is if you had a guard with you. 

this isn’t that kind of cliche story, your guard could literally be your dad, get your head out of the gutter, you are utterly in love with george, and you were sure george knew that and that’s why he encouraged you to fly to him. 

the first couple of days were fun. he brought you to all over brighton for you to experience what it’s like in england. he told you he wanted you to get your first real experience as a tourist, and that was what he did. 

winding down for the night, you brought him to relax in your hotel suite. frankly, george was surprised that you could afford such a place. but he didn’t want to ask where you got the money from, he didn’t really care. 

all he wanted to do was to complete his dare. his ego was too big to lose this time. 

that night was when you decided to tell him about your feelings about him. you were pretty confident that it was going to go smooth sailing. just the way he treated you showed so much about his feelings. 

so you did, you told him. while you told him that you love him, more than friends love each other, he looked you in the eyes. you weren’t sure what that meant. 

but he smiled. or smirked, you weren’t sure. 

and he kissed you. and the night didn’t end with you just kissing. 

so you thought the night was amazing, that it couldn’t get any better than that. 

that was, until you woke up the next morning. 

-

you woke up, sun shining straight into your suite, curtains wide open. 

although you didn’t really feel the presence of another person in the room with you, you brushed it off. you felt like something was off, that something was missing. 

you rolled over in your hotel bed, to see if the british man was laying next to you. 

he wasn’t. in fact, he was not in the hotel room at all. you checked the bathroom, the small little living room in your suite. he was found nowhere. 

you tried to see if he had left traces of himself in your hotel room, a sign that he was indeed there and that you hadn’t been dreaming it all. 

but the pain between your legs caused by the brit told you that it was all not a dream. 

so you did what a logical person would, text him. maybe he left to get food. 

but you knew that wasn’t the case the moment you had unlocked your phone. 

texts flood in, your social media notifications seemed to not be stopping anytime soon. 

you opened your texts messages. a couple from your parents, a lot from rae, multiple from some minecraft youtubers who you called friends. 

besides your parents, they were asking if you were okay. they were telling you to stay safe and to lay off social media for a while. 

your parents were practically screaming at you through texts. they called you a disgrace, not an honour to the family. you didn’t understand where this was coming from. 

you opened twitter, knowing that it was going to be the easiest way for you to find out what had happened, and why were you involved in it. 

you were trending. number one worldwide. you clicked on your name. your phone left your hand, falling hard to your hotel floor with a loud thud as you covered your mouth with both your hands, crying. 

two pictures. two photos that said it all. 

first photo was of you in bed, obviously naked under the hotel duvet. you were still sleeping. there was light coming from the windows, that showed that it had barely been sunrise when it was taken. 

second photo was what hit you the hardest. you wanted the earth to swallow you from below. it was a photo of your back, very naked back. it was clear that it was a photo that had been taken during sex. 

and it was obvious who you had it with, because he was the one who posted it all over twitter. 

george. 

that was why he left, with no traces of him ever being in the hotel room. 

you weren’t sure what was his motive. but you sure did know that he had completely broke you. 

crying, you picked up your phone from the floor, calling rae. 

“oh my god, tell me you’re okay.” she was panicking on the phone.

“i need to leave.” you told her. you knew that she would immediately understand the severity of the four words you told her. 

since then, you never came back. to the eyes of public, it was as if you never even existed. you were gone. 

-

you moved with rae. 

she had to leave her roommates to settle in with you. her roommates weren’t mad at her for leaving them. they completely understood, you needed the help.

although her roommates wanted to help you, they couldn’t. you needed to have the least amount of people to be with you. 

it didn’t help that they were all content creators, too. 

rae told people that she moved because she wanted her own space, so that she can make better videos. when she announced she was moving, not one person speculated that you had been the reason of her move. 

you paid for the house, you needed to. you owed her. no matter the amount of times she told you that you owed her nothing, that she was just doing it because she loves you, you couldn’t let her pay for a single thing. 

you needed to up your security, too. so you two had decided to get a house that was pretty big, somewhere in the mountains, with top security, away from other people. 

your parents soon calmed down after that day. they told you to come back, the begged you to come back. but you told them that you needed the time alone at that moment, and assured them that you would be okay. 

so they did what parents would. they made sure you were well taken care of. they sent you massive amounts of money, sent your their trusted guards to stay around the house. 

they did this all for you without the knowledge of the public. 

your parents told reporters that you were well safe, and would not be in the public eye, not until you were ready. 

you helped rae film certain videos. well, not like there was anything good to do in the massive mansion, anyways. 

all your social media pages were still up, just not updated. you left everything. you had created a more private one, for your close and trusted friends to follow. 

and you thought that nothing could really top that eventful day in england. 

but it did. 

you’re sat on toilet in on of the bathrooms, rae rubbing your back.

pregnant. it was clearly written on the test.

no fucking way. 

-

in no ways were you ready to be a mother. 

as a little kid, you had dreamt of being a mum, alongside a successful man who took responsibility. 

you never would have seen yourself to be a mother alone, with the help of your bestfriend. 

you never thought that you would be a mother, whose dad is someone who clearly doesn’t want anything to do with you. 

rae stayed with you all the time. even through the gross vomit sessions in the morning, or all the time, in your case. 

but you were in no way shape or form ready for a child. you had to raise a child on your own. even the thought of that had emotionally drained you. 

weeks after you found out you were pregnant, you were significantly getting more moody, and rae knew that. 

she made sure you ate well, slept well and kept up with eating vitamins each day. that was until, you couldn’t take it all anymore. 

maybe it was the stress. well, it was the stress. 

you blamed it all on the emotional toll the pregnancy took on you. your body was practically screaming for help. help that you need, but you weren’t in the right head space to offer the help to yourself. 

it was a typically normal day for rae and you. besides rae screaming in her gaming room while streaming, it had been pretty quiet. 

you felt queasy, but you pushed it off. it was normal for you nowadays. everything almost made you throw up. the look of something, the smell. 

but on that day, it was a different type of feeling in your stomach.

one second, you were walking into the kitchen, trying to get some water, and the other, you were on the floor, in pain. 

you screamed. this was the worst type of pain you’ve felt in your life. you screamed for anyone who could hear you. you were sure that even rae’s stream could hear you, but you didn’t care. 

soon you heard multiple footsteps. one of your guards came to your aid before rae did. he supported your head on his lap, him sitting on the floor.��

he told the other guard who came soon after he did to call the ambulance. 

that was when you finally found out what was happening. 

“holy shit, she’s bleeding.” rae repeated to herself. 

you were bleeding? that wasn’t good, right? that meant bad things, doesn’t it?

you felt like you were floating, like your limbs were as light as a feather. that was because you were losing consciousness. 

you lost it. you lost it and found out it was a boy. 

now the two boys you love more than your life aren’t here with you, forever. 

you cried for weeks, rae next to you, making sure you were still alive and eating. she was the only one that stayed by your side in real life. sure, your online friends did care about you, but they just couldn’t be there with you. 

clay and nick had always been texting you, sometimes calling to try their luck, clay mostly. you knew they cared about you, and they wanted to make sure that you’re okay. but you felt embarrassed. you didn’t want to face anyone, even if people kept saying that you did nothing wrong. 

apparently rae’s stream heard your scream, and that was how rae found out that you were in danger. she couldn’t hear through her headphones, but her chat kept spamming her about it, and that raised alarms. 

they kept asking about the ‘mysterious girl screaming’ in rae’s stream. it was short lived, though. rae told them that she had a friend over and that they were injured, and that rested the chaos for a little. 

you were sure that some people knew you were living with her. most of them were almost like detectives, after all. 

you didn’t blame the stans. it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that you would live with her, anyways. 

since the awful day at the hospital, you have texted clay and nick. you wanted to tell them that you were okay, that you aren’t hurt, at least not physically anymore. 

it didn’t take you long to start calling clay daily again. other than rae, you didn’t really have anyone. so you told clay. 

it felt weird talking about a baby that used to be in you to someone whose bestfriend was the dad of. but he completely understood you. sure, he couldn’t say for experience, seeing as he clearly can’t get pregnant, but he supported you, made sure you let it all out to him. 

you and clay grew close, almost bestfriends. although you and nick were close, he’s still in college, and that meant that he usually didn’t have time to talk to you as much as clay did, and you didn’t blame him. school can be a pain in the ass.

but you still made sure to never keep nick in the dark. as much as clay is one of your bestfriends, so is nick. 

clay made sure never to talk about george to you, which deemed to be difficult since they had been friends for years. he had accidentally slipped his name out to you a couple times, but you were sure he didn’t meant to do that. 

other than the usual “george has been sleeping like a log” and “he slept through the smp war.” you hadn’t heard anything else about him, but it seemed like he was doing well. 

clay had told you about the bet. 

“nick brought it up, but we didn’t think he was actually going to go through with it.” the floridian said. 

you aren’t the type to hold grudges, not even if they did you really dirty, so you told clay that you were on the path of being fully healthy and that he didn’t need to apologise for his friend’s behaviour. 

“are you ever going to come back?” he asks you in a facetime call. you knew exactly what he was talking about. he wanted to know if you’d ever come back on the internet. 

you didn’t even know the answer yourself. you weren’t sure. so you told him that. 

“maybe, maybe not. who knows.” and that was months ago. 

you had plenty of time to heal, to get back on track. but nothing could top your pain of losing your child, that you never got to hold, to kiss, to spoil. 

telling your mother about the loss of your baby was the hardest. she is a traditional woman, always telling you to get married before bearing children, but that didn’t mean she didn’t love the baby you were carrying in you. 

she cried on the phone, sobbing, hiccupping. you wanted to hug her so bad, she even asked you when you’d come back, but you told her you needed time, but you’d be there soon. 

for some reason, although you got maximum hours of sleep each day, you still felt exhausted. you consulted a doctor, but he told you that it was normal since your body is still fragile, but the exhaustion never really went away as months go by. 

being bored at home, and hearing rae having fun made you feel lonely, it made you feel like you were left out. so you made the decision to come back. not to stream, but to appear in rae’s videos.

rae and the rest of the group welcomed you with open arms. they were caring and made sure you felt comfortable again, not stepping any boundaries. not that you cared, the public was bound to know everything soon enough. 

so you did that. 

you were playing proximity chat among us, with the usual people. at that point, you and the other nine people were still in the lobby, chatting, until corpse sounded out. 

“what have you been doing nowadays?” harmless question, in your opinion. 

you didn’t want to hide anything anymore, and rae knew what was about to happen.

“been having a lot of rest. doctor said that i’m still fragile.” you told corpse. 

“are you sick?” toast asks. some people would’ve been offended at that question, or take it the wrong way, but you didn’t. 

“actually, i suffered a miscarriage recently.” you told them honestly. 

there was no awkward silence. immediately, everyone started apologising, saying “sorry for your loss.” 

you brushed them off, telling them that it’s okay, that they didn’t offend you at all for asking that question. 

“feels good to get it out my chest.” you told them, laughing at the end of that sentence. 

“she hasn’t slept well at all, she really wanted to tell you guys.” rae told her

one by one, they all spoke to you, asked you if it was even okay that you all talked about it on streams. you told them that it had been your choice to tell people this way, and they had nothing to worry about. 

on the other hand, it was tough for george. not at first, though. he thought it was going to be easy, having sex with a pretty, virgin girl and ditch her alone in a country she she hasn’t personally been to.

but that changed the moment she disappeared. the guilt never really hit george until people started bashing him on the internet. 

at first, people were too focused on the girl. people discriminated you, called you a slut. they didn’t think that george was wrong at all, although he was the one who took the explicit photos and posted it. 

but then, people, mostly woman had started to realise indeed how messed up it was. 

george really couldn’t care that you “left.” but then people kept on commenting on his posts. specifically, they often left a comment saying “really bold of you to do that to a princess.”

at the start, he thought the comments meant that they couldn’t believe he did such terrible things to their princess, someone wholesome they cherished. he didn’t realise that his comments literally meant that you are a princess. 

so he googled it. he wanted to know why people kept calling you ‘princess’ or ‘next on the throne’. he was curious, and he wasn’t expecting it all to be real. 

when he googled your name, a huge google tab came out. 

princess of saudi arabia. 

this must be a typo, right? he couldn’t deny that you are indeed a pretty girl, he just couldn’t believe that he had done such things to someone so royal. 

he never even thought that one day, he would score to talk to celebrities, let alone be able to be in bed with an actual princess. 

so he doubted it. 

but then he kept looking. 

he looked at images of you. photos of you with a small tiara, next to what seemed to be the queen of saudi arabia, wearing a long, modest emerald gown. the photo was taken when the king had a birthday. 

picture after picture, he started to doubt his thoughts even more. 

he couldn’t lie, your face really fit the title. if he really thought about it, your existence screamed royalty. the way you spoke, your poise, the way you strut in a hallway and was able to wow a crowd without trying. 

george always assumed that people only stared at you in public because of how beautiful you are. he never really realised it all until now. 

usually, guys can be insecure when they hear rude comments about how a lanky man is able to get a beautiful, confident woman. but to george, he felt even more egoistical. he used you, truly like a trophy wife. 

that was until he really realised. 

now, he thinks that everything he did was just a plain asshole move, not saying it isn’t if he did it to any other normal girl.

“i fucking messed up” he thought to himself, reading press conferences about your princess title.

if he thought he messed up then, wait till he found out you were pregnant, and then later losing it. 

he felt like he was in a fever dream. it felt like a written book, not real life. 

he kept slapping himself, pinching himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. it all felt unreal. so many things were happening. 

now, he’s more concerned than guilty. he wanted to know if you’re okay. even he felt like he can’t cope with the information he was given, how would you feel?

furthermore, he kept reading theories that the scream in the background of valkyrae’s stream was yours. had you lost the baby there? had you lost his baby there?

-

he called clay and nick. he wanted to double check. it was all a lot to handle, knowing you’re a princess and a mother in the same week. 

nick screamed at him on discord for hours, literally. george knew clay was just as mad, just as disappointed. he just didn’t have the energy to say it all, even though all he wanted to do was fly to england and beat george up. 

although it took george a while to realise everything he did was messed up, he came to. and he really did want to contact you. but really, anyone in your position wouldn’t even glance at his name twice after what he did. 

he was happy that you were looking healthy on rae’s stream. although you weren’t really ready to stream on your own again and many people understood that, and never pushed you. 

but whenever he saw you sometimes on rae’s facecam, he could see that pain, deeply hidden in your eyes. you were trying to cover up the fact that you were still trying to heal. 

-

CLAY’S POV

it was infuriating to see george not really giving a shit at first, and then changing to a new man. it took you to tell the world about your lost child for him to own up to his mistakes.

nick and i had been friends with him for years, it takes a lot to just dump a friend, a close one at that. so we did what we could, help him wake up from this “dream” he’s in. 

that didn’t mean we weren’t mad at him still. 

if he didn’t want to own up, i will. 

-

the subsequent years came by and went really quickly. people were starting to forget the drama that you and george were in. people soon became uninterested about it, but still stayed with you, encouraging you to heal slowly and take your time. 

that was what you liked about the internet. granted, some people can be mean, but the people who supported you were the ones that helped you keep going, helped you find a reason to wake up in the morning. 

no, you’d never forget that you lost a child, and you were reminded by the people on the internet who made it a pact to make sure george never forgot that too. 

george did end up talking to you a couple years ago. you accepted his apology, but not him. you were sure he only wanted to apologise after knowing that you were the next in the throne. 

speaking of throne, you were back in the castle. not permanently, but you visited often. you still lived with rae, and you had actually started streaming on your own again a few months before george reached out to you. 

clay and nick had been supportive of you since the start, still clearly apologetic even though you told him that you had forgotten about it and that it hadn’t even been their fault in the first place. 

but they were persistent, clay more than nick since nick was still very busy with college. you loved the two of them and considered them to be one of your best friends, aside from rae. 

-

GEORGE’S POV 

it was difficult. i felt like i had no shame to just text her one day after being gone for so long. but i actually felt bad. i know it was a rocky start. 

i had been so focused on winning the bet and not wanting to be called a pussy from my friends that i disregarded you, your feelings.

i knew from the start that you had been a great girl. you were just so sweet to everyone you meet, even strangers. it warmed my heart, it made me feel safe to be around you all the time. 

not that i can say that right now anyways, i didn’t have the right at all, after what i did to you. 

i don’t know what love is, given the fact that multiple girls had left me before this. i asked myself often if what i felt for my exes were actually love, or had i just been desperate. 

but i felt like when i was with you, it had been love, or close enough. 

but i couldn’t just burst it out one day that i love you, we weren’t really even dating. 

given that you had been pure, prior to me, it was shocking to see you so open, so welcoming to me. it was like you had known me forever, that you trusted me. 

and i took advantage of that, and later i got the consequences. 

i suffered the consequences. i see him with you. and i see that you’re happier with him. if it was any other guy, i think it would hurt less. 

but it was my own best friend. it was clay. 

all the instagram photos you post, his face blurred or covered, or when he posts a photo of you, it all hurt. 

i started the fall for you, for your genuine heart, and when i finally decide to do something about it, someone else had done it before me. 

deep down, i knew that clay would’ve been the better choice for you anyway. but it still hurt me. hearing his voice coming from behind you when you stream without your facecam. 

everyone was so supportive of you and clay, they’re obviously happy that you found someone who treats you better, even i knew that.

i wished i hadn’t taken you for granted, i wish i hadn’t listened to the stupid voice in my head reminding that you were all just a bet, that i wouldn’t love you like you think i would. 

i felt left out. 

a while ago, you were in florida with nick and your boyfriend, clay. it stung to see nick and you streaming so happily, not remembering me. 

but i deserved it. and i knew you deserve to be happy, after everything i did to you.

but that didn’t compare to the pain i felt now, a year later, seeing photos of clay and you, his face turned from the camera, facing you. he was down on one knee, proposing. 

and although you were crying and your hands covered the bottom half of your face, i could see how happy you are, i could see the amount of love you held for clay. 

how i wish i had done things a little more differently. 

[tenderbled]

have you heard of DELILAH ROSENBERG? she is a TWENTY ONE year old survivor in boulder county, who looks like MILENA TSCHARNTKE. she is GREGARIOUS, which helps her as a GATHERER at BALFOUR SENIOR LIVING. however, she can also be PASSIVE so i’d watch out for them. they are known as the SANGUINE.

* shane madej vc * ‘ sup ghouls ! i’m super happy to be back and screaming abt it i’m shannae aka. nae, 18, she/her/, acst & ur residential aussie grandma who gets easily distracted by sleep and conspiracy theories. hello ! ���– i’ll be playing delilah rosenberg, my darlin’ doter, which you can find more about below !

for those of you that were in pre-revamp hellstate, delilah might seem a bit familiar in personality. i Love recycling old characters into new ones, , ,i can’t let my Babes gO. so deli is a mixture of a few of my older characters ! but more specifically indiana stokely & evangeline czerny.

me: just write a basic rundown, make it short

me @ me knowing damn well i’m Not going to make it short:

tw. alcoholism, drug use, child neglect/abuse, death.

born & raised in des moina, iowa, into a very dysfunctional family (  think. . the gallaghers. yikes !  )  her parents descending from augsburg, germany prior to them expanding their family ; they didn’t have much before let alone when they fled to america for a clean slate -- but they thrived, somehow the rosenberg’s seem to always do.  

delilah was the youngest of five children ! and being the baby of the family mean’t that she was shielded from the life her eldest siblings had built to survive on a day to day basis ; although not completely. their parents? were barely sober most days and sometimes the children didn’t see their mother or father for a few days to a few weeks at a time ; they didn’t support them, they didn’t care for them, some would even suggest they didn’t even love them ----- the family wasn’t exactly viewed in high regards around the city, they were considered untrustworthy & wild ; the thieves & manipulators of the cul de sac. the type you shut your door on unless you wanted a few pieces of your silverware missing by night’s end.

delilah always carried her heart on her sleeve, she had a gentle touch and a warm soul, one that could see the possibilities in anyone ; her parents saw the weakness and often exploited it to their benefit, and it took awhile ( and a lot of lectures from her siblings. ) to learn that there is more to being a parent than just having the title -- she grew used to the absence, to the way her family lived, how temporary things where ; she learnt to lie without fault & run faster than those she was running from. a survival streak that was formed at birth, and one, you could say, that has helped aid her in surviving the end of the world.

as delilah grew, so did her love for music --- at any opportunity she’d sing along to the music playing through the radio or twirl to the tunes. her oldest sister, clarissa, managed to snag an acoustic guitar for delilah’s tenth birthday, and every night following was filled with music for the whole neighborhood to listen to. when she was twelve, she was offered work at the local dance studio in return for lessons, to which delilah was thrilled over. ( not to be That Mom. but ! she was pretty darn talented in every musical aspect. ) 

her mom had grown envious over her daughter’s talents, and also the fact that delilah began viewing her dance instructor as more of a mother than her own mother. mama rosenberg didn’t appreciate ! and forced delilah to revoke her dream of pursuing her passion into something more ; she dropped out of school at 16 to find a job and help towards the bills and loans that were against the rosenberg name while fighting to keep them together ----- if it wasn’t neighbors calling on social services, it was the fact that the eldest children were becoming adults, eager to escape the life they had been raised in. none of them were exactly fond of their parents, but they loved each other, they stuck together, always. 

until they didn’t. in the end, it was just delilah and her brother left to keep the household afloat, to clean up the mess their parents made and to dodge the EVICTION NOTICES that kept appearing on the front door.  it was a struggle, and there was only so much they could do when their parents were constantly pulling them down and jeopordising their opportunities. but what COULD they do when their older siblings, the ones who protected them from their parents bad habits, addictions & neglect, were no longer around?  they were forced to endure, to put up with what their parents dished up to them on a daily basis, whether it was theft, manipulation or humiliation ; but they thrived, somehow the rosenberg’s seem to always do.  

when the apocalypse began, delilah was unemployed ; fired from two of her jobs due to her father abusing the boss at one and her mother making her daughter late to the other. she had finally lost the home she had been raised in, had lost her possessions, and the remainder of her family when her brother had gained a scholarship to university ----- she left the city of des moina behind when the infected took it, found her way into the welcoming arms of a small group that protected her from the dead ( not a big fan of those tbh -- my girl isn’t much of a fighter !  ) they eventually found their way into boulder county, where delilah discovered balfour senior living. 

* as if this isn’t long enouGH, here’s some bonus stuff !

so she’s been in boulder county for like? three months? so far !

has a cavalier king charles called chester. loves her woofer.

just wants to be your Friend, why are you trying to run away from her love

uh? enemy who? i think we should all hug it out

her moral compass needs some maintenance tho 

 it’s an avocado ! thanks ! is her in a vine

you’ll find her singing a lot ! sorry balfour :/ 

hasn’t killed a single walker thus far, doesn’t plan to tbh

i’m getting tired and this is getting loNG and i’m sorry about that ! but do feel free to hmu for plots or chats or anythinG. if you click here, you’ll see an empty wanted plots page BUT i’ll be editing it tomorrow so, , ,Check Back Soon.