#this song was one of the first i loved by them and its one of the songs that most shows the beatles' influence on their style

[ninadove]

As promised, here I am with some French Facts™! 🥤💚

Lila’s drink of choice, a diabolo menthe (lemonade + mint syrup), is likely a reference to the 1977 coming-of-age movie Diabolo menthe, and the song written for its credits. The movie itself follows two sisters as they struggle with their parents’ divorce, romance (or the lack thereof) and a world that quickly changes around them; while the song puts more emphasis on the lies and dissimulation that come with budding desires.

Lyrics and translation below! 🥤💚

Dans tes classeurs de lycée

In your high school binders

Y’a tes rêves et tes secrets

Lie your dreams and your secrets

Tous ces mots que tu n'dis jamais

All those words you never say

Des mots d'amour et de tendresse

Words filled with love and tenderness

Des mots de femme

For you’re already a woman

Que tu caches et qu'on condamne

You hide them, so you don’t get punished

Que tu caches, petite Anne

You hide them, little Anne

Dans tes classeurs de lycée

Your high school binders

Y’a du sang et y a des pleurs

Are stained with blood and tears

Les premières blessures de ton cœur

Those are your heart’s first wounds

Les premières blessures

The first wounds

Les premières déchirures

The first tears

Qui font des bleus à ton âme

That leave bruises on your soul

Qui font des bleus, petite Anne

That leave bruises, little Anne

Dans les cafés du lycée

In the cafe near your school

Faut que tu bluffes, que tu mentes

You have to bluff, you have to lie

Autour des diabolos menthe

As you and your friends drink diabolos menthe

Quand tu racontes les nuits du dernier été

You boast about the nights you spent last summer

Et les tout premiers amants

In company of your very first lovers

Que tu n'as eus qu'en rêvant

The ones you only kissed in your dreams

Dans tes classeurs de lycée

In your high school binders

Y’a tes rêves et tes secrets

Lie your dreams and your secrets

Tous ces mots que tu n'dis jamais

All those words you never say

Des mots d'amour et de tendresse

Words filled with love and tenderness

Des mots de femme

For you’re already a woman

Que tu caches et qu'on condamne

You hide them, so you don’t get punished

Que tu caches, petite Anne

You hide them, little Anne

Que tu caches et qu'on condamne

You hide them, so you don’t get punished

Que tu caches, petite Anne

You hide them, little Anne

[emilyjean-stone]

I'll never forget the call when I explained my idea of the concept for The Eras Tour to my team. At the time, I was working on the Midnights album and if we were to do what l've always done, I would've embarked on planning The Midnights Tour. But there's nothing I hate more than doing what I've always done. "We're going to call it The Eras Tour and each album will have its own chapter, its own world." I told them that I want to fully commit to each era, musically, stylistically and aesthetically. They should feel like time capsules. If we do this right, I said, we can celebrate and honor both new fans and fans who have been here from day one. It had been 6 years since l'd toured. In those 6 years, a lot had transpired for me creatively. I released Lover, folklore, evermore, and eventually Midnights. In another realm of my priorities was my passion project: re-recording my first 6 albums that were sold away from me by my former record label. Reclaiming my past made me fall back in love with it. Revisiting that past work made me want to honor it and honor what the fans had done for me with the Taylor's Version albums. And so the new albums and my re-records left me with the dilemma: HOW on Earth are we going to play all of this music live? I decided to create the longest, most ambitious show l'd ever even attempted. Averaging at 3 hours and 15 minutes, with 45 songs played. My goal was for every fan to leave that show knowing I gave them absolutely everything I had. I made a promise to myself to be physically and mentally tougher than I ever had been before. To be more disciplined and committed to my health, fitness, and stamina. Thankfully, I'm surrounded by my incredible crew, band, singers, and dancers who all matched my dedication to the massive scale and challenges of this show. We would go on to play this show in the pouring rain, in the blazing heat, in the thickest humidity, in the wildest winds, and in the bitter cold. We would do it if we were sick or exhausted or injured. We would do it with a broken heart. We do this because we love having the rare opportunity to create happiness and wonder up on that stage. We do it because we know it takes time and effort and money and energy to plan out coming to a concert. We do it because every friendship bracelet traded has the potential to become a new friend, and you never know what dreams can be sparked if we succeed in painting a dreamscape in every city we visit. We do it because people need an escape from how brutal life can be, and it is the honor of a lifetime to be that for them, if only for a night. And although we are all on our own in this big scary life, somehow it doesn't feel that way when we're singing the same words as 80,000 other people wearing glittery face paint. We do it because life comes in waves, in phases, in brilliant flurries of magical moments, and all of these things come together to create...Eras. Here is the official retrospective of the most wondrous tour of my life, my beloved Eras Tour. See you next era

[russellsppttemplates]

We learn to hold its hand (Charles Leclerc)

Two hearts that lost themselves in pain.

Two hearts that found eachother in love.

Note: english is not my first language. It's been some time since I posted one of these, hopefully I still know how to do it 🥲 A lot of changes have been going on at my job and I've been trying to adjust to all of it without loosing my sanity and writinb has been a good escape! I know this is a heavy topic, so proceed carefully, but I was feeling like writing this so here it goes... For those who are here and have stayed, thank you for being so patient and for staying - I hope this is good enough ✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm not taking requests right now, so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to send them in but know that I don't know when I'll be able to get to them!

my masterlist

Cw: cancer, death of close relatives (reader's and Charles' father), grief, hospital procedures

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3 @sltwins

"Bonjour papa", Charles greeted, running his hand over the photograph that was on the grave, "I just got back from the track where we did the testing for Sauber, the last one before the season starts. It's hard, but I'm not afraid", he gulped, "Because you taught me that, even if I'm afraid, I have to go with fear. To move forward, because that's the only way. In racing, I can do that, but I won't be able to continue my life without you because I won't be able to. I try. Every day, I try. For maman, especially, since she tries to be strong for me, Lorenzo and Arthur, and somewhere along the way, we gathered the strength we didn’t know we had, but when we realize it, there it is, supporting us. I'm sure it's you. Every day, I remember that afternoon when you taught me how to ride a bike. Your insistence on removing the training wheels from the big wheel that ended up with a wound on my knee and that made me scream a few times. I remember you telling me that there were worse things than that simple scratch. I never thought that one day we would have to face them and that they would be the main reason why you are no longer by my side", Charles wiped away the tears, while he couldn't help but smile at the beautiful memories that came back to him, "But more than that, I remember the day you put a kart in front of me for the first time. There, I knew it was love for life. Yes, like Francis Cabrel's song. Or that afternoon when I stepped onto the concrete of the best race circuit in the world. There, I knew that I would begin a story in which, even though I was the main character, I would never have been able to write all the chapters that have been completed so far without the help of your pen. That support, that dedication, that encouragement, that love, father. Without them, I would never be the Charles that I am today. There was so much left to say and so much to do. But I am grateful for everything we said and for everything we did. I remember you telling me that you could no longer be strong and you asked me to be. I miss you so much. I miss you so much that I cannot express in words. I just want to thank you for continuing to light my path and for being the best father in the world. You are not by my side, but you are on my side. I feel that, every day. Thank you for continuing to support me in every race and in every challenge that life throws at me. Thank you for being so present, even though you're so far away. I miss you every day. And I feel you with me every day. Je t'aime, papa", he says goodbye, standing up and shaking off the little dirt on his jeans.

He picks up his backpack and starts walking towards the cemetery exit, but a sweet, melodious voice makes him stop walking. Charles looks in its direction, observing a female figure who, sitting next to someone's grave, was quickly but skillfully strumming the acoustic guitar and, at the same time, singing the song he had included in today's conversation with his father. Je l'aime à mourir by Francis Cabrel. Charles smiles at such coincidence and turned his back, picking up his pace, but soon stopping again, feeling a great need to go and meet that girl whose voice conveyed the pain he knew so well - loss.

Charles swallowed hard and instead of walking away, he found himself getting closer and closer to the young woman who, judging by your physical features, was probably around his age.

He waited for you to finish the song to make myself present, since you hadn’t noticed him yet.

“I miss you every day, Lucas. I wish you were here. It would make everything so much easier", he heard you say, through tears, and he felt the impact of all her words. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t feel the same way.

Charles looks at the person you were visiting and his eyes almost popped out of his head when he notices the photo of a boy who couldn’t have been more than eight years old in that portrait. The date of death was twelve years ago.

"Who are you?", you ask.

Charles quickly woke up from his thoughts, focusing his gaze on you, now curiously appreciating him. The colour of your eyes, the way your hair fell down your back and your bare skin faacinaged him.

"Forgive me", he requested, a little embarrassed, "I heard you sing and I couldn't help but come here and tell you that you sing very well and that the person you dedicated the song to probably agrees with me", he replied and your shy laugh made him laugh too.

"Thank you", you offered, quite embarrassed, which was still funny, "He's my twin brother. He was eight years old when he left", you pointed to the portrait you had looked at moments before.

"My father. He passed away a couple of months ago", Charles decided to share the reason why he was also there.

"My brother had a rare blood disease, a cancer doctors were never able to identify. Chemotherapy and radiotherapy were not enough to cure him. In fact, the body of an eight-year-old boy could only handle so much at that time. I was the same age, but I will never forget my brother’s suffering and the strength he had until the end. My childhood innocence was taken from me that day. I am not an example to anyone. The true example of life left more than a decade ago, on a journey that still had a long way to go had it not ended the way it did", you said as you packed your things, letting your anger speak.

Charles noticed the crack in your voice and a few seconds later, he heard your sniffle.

The first instict he had was that he wanted to hug you in that moment and reassure you with just his arms, since words would never be enough comfort at a time like that. And at the same time, he felt that you needed to talk to someone who, being unknown and impartial, would never judge you for the anger you were experiencing.

"My father battled cancer for a few years but, unfortunately, he ended up losing the fight in July. However, the real winner is him. For so many reasons: for the way he faced the reality that was knocking on his door, for how he forced us to face it in the most positive way possible, so that it would become a little easier, and for the way he prepared us for his departure. He is a true hero. If, one day, I can be half the man and father that he was and is, you can be sure that I will leave this life happy", Charles spoke.

"They truly are the heroes who left early to prove that angels really exist", you said, looking at Charles intently in a way made him feel like an open book in front of the most beautiful reader he had ever seen in his life.

"I couldn’t agree more", Charles murmured, too caught up in the gaze of that twenty-year-old girl who was so much more like him than he had thought.

"Y/N", you held out your hand and he smiled at your introduction.

"Charles", he reciprocated, fitting his hand in yours, which you immediately shook.

And there, he knew that you were marked by the wound that would never heal and by the feeling that would never disappear: pain.

There, those two hearts that were lost in pain would be the same ones that would find each other in love.

.

Charles got up from the floor, after the usual daily conversation he shared with his father after training. He noticed you in the same position you had been in before, but this time, you were reciting poems from a small book you had in your hand, completely distracted from your surroundings.

It was the first time in almost three weeks that he had seen you again. You had stopped showing up at the same time as he did and for a moment he thought you were avoiding him. But he soon put those thoughts aside. After all, if you didn’t even know each other that well, what was the need?

“Y/N", Charles said as he approached you, alerting you of his presence.

You looked at him with a shy smile and immediately stood up as well, "I haven’t seen you around here since", he added and you laughed softly.

"In the last three weeks, I came in the morning, because of the internship I'm doing. I had to change schedules with a colleague and I couldn't come in the afternoon. Now everything is back to normal, so here I am", you explained and he nodded in understanding, "You never miss your schedule", you pointed out it was his turn to laugh.

"This is the best time for me to come because this way, I can spend more time with my father before the cemetery closes", Charles explains and you nod, "Hmm, I really like talking to you but, is it just me who thinks we're not in the best place?".

Your beautiful laugh makes him laugh too, "Without shadow of a doubt", you agreed, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"I bet you're hungry", Charles assuredly and you laughed again.

"Very", you dmitted, blushing, which made him smile at your embarrassment, "the line at the bakery in front of where I work was too long and, I'm sorry, but patience has never been my strong point", you defended yourself and he giggled.

"So it's better to go without food...?", Charles quirked an eyebrow as he asked, surprised and you laughed, rolling your eyes.

"I wouldn't go without food, obviously. I was just going to have to snack something later", you shrugged.

Once you stood outside the cemetery, you looked at each other intensely, not knowing what to say, "Would you accept an invitation for a snack?", Charles gathered the courage to ask and it was your turn to laugh at his shyness.

"Yes", your positive answer made him smile.

"Do you have a car?", he asked and you said no.

"Not yet. It’s at the mechanic’s", you made a face of disgust and Charles laughed, "the good news is that my father can pick it up at the end of this week. You have no idea how much I need it for my internship", you complained and Charles smiled at you relaxed way.

"Then you’re coming with me", he invited and you thanked him.

Charles lead you to his car and you smiled in gratitude when he opened the door for you so you could get in.

"And, if you’ll allow me, can I know what you study, Y/N?", Charles asked curiously, when you were already in line at the caffè, the place being chosen by the young woman during your journey, which had been made in a silence that Charles wouldn’t consider awkward but also not very comfortable. The awkwardness was still there.

"Radiology and radiotherapy", you replied, letting out a smile, "Twelve years ago, for a few months, I followed my brother's fight and was inspired by the humanity of those doctors and the team responsible for his case. The way he was treated, the constant encouragement in his recovery, the words and friendly shoulder they gave my parents, and even me, the way they prepared us for the worst and the way they accompanied us in our mourning, was truly human and truly inspiring. And there, I decided that this was something I would like to do in the future. I want to help others like they helped me more than a decade ago", you said proudly, earning a big smile from Charles.

You were interrupted when it was your turn to make the requests and respective payment. Charles insisted on paying the entire bill and you gave in, after much insistence from his behalf.

"Next time, you'll pay", Charles promised, as you walked aimlessly through the streets of Monaco.

"Will there be a next one?", you asked, laughing and Charles couldn’t help but look away from your shy eyes, "It’s a promise, then", you added and Charles looked at you again, already looking at him with a smile.

You ended up sitting on the lawn of a garden, finally digging into your food.

"And you? Can I know what you study?", you asked, equally curious and Charles laughed, still feeling a little satisfied that you didn’t know him as a Formula One rookie.

"I’m a race driver", he told you and you looked at him in surprise.

"What category? And which team?", you asked with interest and he smiled.

"The best in the world and the biggest one in racing", he replied, not wanting to say the team's name directly, because that way he would be able to know which one she supported.

"Do you race for Ferrari?", you asked and Charles smiled broadly, happy with what he had heard.

"I was in their academy last year", Charles confirmed and you smiled.

"How come I've never seen you there?", your curiosity and interest were something that satisfied him. After all, he wasn't the only one who wanted to know more.

"I was in Formula Two with Prema", he explained and her "makes sense", spoken in English, made him laugh.

"But tell me something. Are you regular at races?", Charles asked and you nodded.

"You could say that", you both laughed, "My father and grandfather were always

big racing fans. In fact, they are. And they passed that love on to Lucas", you smiled and looked down at the ground, "The few times he wasn't in the hospital, he was at the track. What he felt for racing was something I had never seen before. It was contagious. Everyone infected Lucas and he infected me. After his death, I promised myself to accompany my father and grandfather, and even go there alone, to every race that was done there. It was, and is, a way of feeling Lucas with me. That’s why I love racing so much", you looked at him with teary eyes, letting the tears fall when Charles brought his thumb to your face, caressing it.

"I’m sorry", you murmured and he quickly denied it, so that you would know that everything was okay.

"You’re inspiring, Y/N. I hope you know that", Charles offered.

You shook your head, smiling, "No, I don't think so. I’m just an eight-year-old child, in the body of a twenty-year-old girl who cries every night, wishing her brother was by her side", you spoke, with some difficulty, and Charles swallowed hard, trying to find the right words to comfort you.

"No, Y/N. You are a young 20-year-old woman who lost her brother at the age of eight and who, even today, is learning to deal with his absence", Charles said and you quickly wiped away the tears that were falling from your eyes, unable to help but sigh heavily.

"So, tell me, how does it feel to wear red? I clearly have been focusing in specific catehorues", you asked with a smile and Charles smiles at your change of subject.

"Incredible. It is a dream come true. I have no words to thank the trust that my team put in me, and how stepping into F1, even if it's not Ferrari, is a huge sense of responsibility, after all, you’re representing one of the best teams in the sport, the best in the world for me", Charles proudly answered your question, not avoiding remembering the day he signed his first professional contract with the unspoken promise and hope of a place in the Scuderia.

"How many years has it been?", you asked.

"I've been with the best the world for a few years", you both smiled.

“We could go watch the historic race this Saturday on the track just outside the city", you invited Charles and he smiled at you initiative, not hesitating to nod.

“I was already thinking of going, but now I’m really going to", Charles answered and you blushed.

"Can you give me your phone number so we can arrange things better?", Charles asked, feeling brave enough to do so, and you nodded.

You exchanged contact details and chatted a little longer until you were interrupted by the ringing of your phone. Charles waited for the call to end and returned the smile you gave him.

"Typical motherly concern", you explained, and Charles laughed, nodding along

"I know how it feels", he commented and it was your turn to smile

"Since my brother passed away, my mother, who was already overprotective, has become even more so. I don’t blame her for that, quite the opposite. I have learned to deal with it and I don’t make her life harder, I have a very open relationship with my mother. My first academic choice was not Monaco, but in Montpellier", you said as Charles made such curiosity known and looked at you, "But the truth is that I couldn’t even finish the first semester in the city because I couldn’t stand being alone. It was as if the pain multiplied by mixing with the loneliness that I felt. We were so close that I couldn’t separate the pain of having to leave for one of my dreams. I wasn’t prepared for the nights when nightmares haunted me and the absence of my brother was felt more than ever. So, I asked my parents to come and get me and I moved back to Monaco, where it didn't get easier but it wasn’t as difficult as being alone. Since my brother left, we’ve gotten even closer. But the first few days were the hardest. My mother became depressed, my father closed himself off a bit more and, at the age of twelve, I let myself be suffocated by the feelings I had no one to talk to, until my father learned to deal with the pain and helped us do the same. Someone needed to get back on their feet and help others get back on their feet too, and my father was my hero. We sought out the best psychologists for my mother and her progress was very positive, but in truth, what she was doing, and rightly so, was mourning the loss of the most real, pure and true love in the world. She was mourning the death of her son. And she did it in the only way she knew how. Today, we continue to do it, but we do it differently. And if people now talk and watch us go about our day to day lives, it's not because it no longer hurts - because it hurts a lot - it's because we've learned to embrace pain and deal with it. We hold its hand. I think the learning process is lifelong. And I'm going to die, still learning how to deal with it", you said, and the impact of your words prompt Charles to shed a tear, which was joined by all the others, for all the memories that hit him.

"I miss him so much", Charles whispered, avoiding your gaze.

Just out of the corner of his eye, Charles could see you get closer to him, smiling faintly when you pulled him into a hug he didn't hesitate in joining.

You fit perfectly on his chest, head nestled there as he hugged you by your waist, enveloping you and kissing the top of your head without a hitch.

And in that first touch of many, you got to know eachother through the way you both knew so well - pain. And right there, without knowing, you started another one - love.

.

Charles was coming home after another training session, the last one before the charity race he was participating in which would take place the next day at ten in the morning. Today was also the historic race day, the race he would watch with you, after meeting up every day that week at your usual spot - although it wasn’t the happiest, you always ended up going to different places in the capital city, where you took the opportunity to get to know each other better.

"Charles", he heard his mother call out and smiled, going to meet the woman who was preparing dinner.

"Hi, maman”, he kissed her hair and bent down a little so she could kiss his cheek, “I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you", he looked at her with a guilty expression, "I'm not going to have dinner at home", he continued, enjoying the meat she was cooking that smelled very good.

"It's all right", Pascale smiled, "you're going to watch the historic race with Joris and Riccardo, aren't you?", she asked, as they were usually his company.

"Well, about that..", Charles mumbled, scratching the back of his neck in a gesture of confusion that didn't go unnoticed by the oldest in the room.

"Charles Marc Hervé Perceval! What aren't you telling me?", his mother asked, genuinely curious, and he laughed out loud when she turned off the stove and crossed her arms, waiting for him to start talking.

"I'm going with a girl", he started and saw her smile grow at the information he had given her, "her name is Y/N. She is twenty years old and is a final-year student in the radiology and radiotherapy course. Unfortunately, we did not meet under happy circumstances, but the time we have spent together has allowed us to create and experience moments that go beyond that", he explained, avoiding his mother’s gaze to hide his slight embarrassment.

"Where did you meet?", Pascale wanted to know.

"At the cemetery. It was during one of the visits I paid to papa, three weeks ago. She lost her twin brother to a rare blood disease that doctors were never able to identify. Y/N was eight years old when he passed away. I have never related with anyone as much as I did with her. She understands me. In fact, we understand each other. She is simply beautiful in every way", Charles shrugged, not avoiding a smile as he remembered you.

"Charles, is it just me or are you in love?", his mother asked with a smile as she hugged him, fitting into his arms.

"It’s not possible, maman. Only this week that we’ve gotten closer", he replied, not avoiding a nervous laugh.

Pascale laughed, "and since when did that stop you from feeling something for that young woman? Charles, amour, it’s not the time of things but the intensity with which we experience them", she wisely advised and Charles nodded, smiling weakly.

"Thank you for everything, maman. Je t'aime", he whispered against her hair, leaving a kiss there.

"Never forget that you, as well as your brothers, are my pride and the light of my eyes. Je t'aime, Charles", Pascale spoke.

Charles held his mothee on his arms, wanting her to be aware of the infinite gratitude he felt for her.

Pascale pulled away, wiping her tears, and smiled at Charles, "Come on, I don’t want you like this!", Charles asked and she laughed, waving.

"I’m fine", his mother assured, "Now go take a shower and get ready so you don’t keep the girl waiting. I’ll make you a bowl of cereal, so you can eat something before you go", she warned and smiled, getting a kiss on her forehead.

"You’re the best!!", Charles exclaimed, leaving the room, and she laughed.

"I know!", she said, laughing, and Charles laughed at her expression.

Once he got to his bedroom, Charles chose a presentable outfit, wanting to dress appropriately and blend in with all of the fans and enjoy the race that was probably one of the last moments before everything flooded in. The PR team had already warned him that once he was in Formula One, everything changed and he hoped he could have this evening.

He ran to the bathroom, took a quick and relaxing shower, and got dressed without rushing, making sure he looked his best. After that, he went back to the kitchen, where his mother was still, finishing the preparations for dinner.

“Since I didn’t have any company for the meal, I invited your cousins”, she said.

Charles gave her a guilty smile, "I'm really sorry, maman", he spoke sincerely, and it was her turn to laugh, shaking her head.

“It’s okay, Charles, I was just kidding. I want you to go and enjoy Y/N's company. I haven't even met her yet and I already like her", she commented.

"Oh really? Why is that?", Charles wondered, really interested.

"Why? Because every time you talk about her, it's impossible for you not to smile. And I like that", she admitted and he blushed, hearing his mother giggle at his shyness.

"Maman!", he mumbled and the older woman laughed.

"What's wrong?", she asked, pretending not to notice as her son rolled his eyes, laughing.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything, I should've stayed quiet", Charles complained and she laughed out loud.

"As if I wouldn't eventually find out, Charles", she winked, convinced, and Charles laughed at the joviality that characterized his mother, even after everything that life had put her through.

They were closer than ever and he felt very comfortable sharing any kind of subject with her, she was his best friend and the best thing in his world.

"I really have to go", Charles announced, looking at his watch, making sure he wouldn’t be late.

"Do you have everything with you, amour?”, she asked and he looked at her confused.

“Yes, why?”, Charles answered with another question, while he set the bowl of cereal in the sink.

"Are you sure?", she insisted and he snorted, patting his pockets and checking that nothing was missing.

"I have everything", he replied, kissing her forehead as a way of saying goodbye, "I'll see you later. Je t'aime!", he shouted from the living room and heard her laugh.

"Do you have the condoms with you?", Pascale asked, giggling, and Charles almost choked on his own saliva.

He couldn't believe it.

"Seriously, maman?", he made himself heard out loud.

"Do you think I'm stupid, Charles? I too was a young woman your age once. And I'm too young to be a grandmother!", she said, coming to meet him at the door, and she couldn't help but laugh when she saw his embarrassment.

"I'm leaving!", Charles exclaimed, leaving a last kiss on her cheek and walking all the way to the car while laughing, knowing his mother never missed the opportunity and had a great ability to embarrass her own son.

Charles got in the car and drove off towards your house which, even after a week, continued to leave him astonished by the external beauty that set it apart from the others in the same neighborhood. He sent you a quick text letting you know that he was already waiting for you and, about three minutes later, he heard a door slam, looking in the direction of the noise and not helping but smile when he saw how you were dressed appropriately for the race.

"Wow, yes, we have a racing fan", he complimented and the brunette giggle.

You were dressed in a vintage jacket, an allusive cap with the peak turned backwards and the rest of the outfit complimented it.

The rest of the journey to the track was transformed into a karaoke session, "tell me if we don't make an unbeatable singing duo", you joked as you walked towards the interior of the building where you would be sitting.

"Like society hasn't seen in many years", Charles joined in your joke and you laughed

Charles put his right hand on your shoulder, hugging you and guided you through the crowd so that you wouldn’t lose each other. He heard his name being called and two kids running towards him, making you stop walking. He greetd them with a smile and they ask for a photo that would be the responsibility of the woman who was waiting for them to position themselves, "your girlfriend can also join the portrait", the oldest women pointed to you, and you couldn't help but blush, making Charles smile sideways when he noticed such a thing.

"We're not-", Charles didn't let you finish.

"Come here, Y/N", he asked and the lady waved, heading towards you.

After the photos were taken, the kids thanked Charles, immediately disappearing from our sight, "Do you want to see something around here or would you rather go inside now?", Charles chatted up while you tried to show yourself less embarrassed.

He couldn't help but admit that he was enjoying seeing you like that and, more than that, knowing that he was the one that made you feel that way.

"We can go inside, since race time is very close", you preferred and Charles nodded, placing his hand on the small of your back, leading you to the entrance.

You greeted the various security guards who were there and headed to the place that your tickets indicated. Because Charles belonged in a professional driving championship, he was entitled to the VIP stands.

"Wow", you exclaimed, truly enchanted by the view you had of the track, which was undergoing the final touches before opening its doors to the public.

"Have you never been here before?", Charles asked and saw you deny it, while remaining astonished, appreciating the atmosphere around you.

"Only for a visit when Lucas was with us, never when there was an actual race happening. This is going to be great", you finally looked at him, offering him a smile, "thank you, Charles", you spoke and he acknowledged the sincerity of your words, smiling at you broadly.

“You’re welcome", he downplayed the situation, just hoping you would feel good, "I don’t know if you drink, but would you like a beer? Or perhaps some wine?", he asked and you laughed.

“I don’t usually drink, but today I can make an exception", you accepted and Charles smiled.

“Are you sure? You have every right to say no" he made it clear and you laughed, denying it.

“Seriously, Charles, we can go", you insisted and he waved, giving you space so you could go ahead of him.

The crowd there was huge, but that didn't stop you from drinking and snacking before the race started.

"The teams are getting ready", Charles said as you finished our drinks and you waved, standing up and opening your wallet to take out the money.

"Hey you! What are you doing?", Charles quickly intervened, placing his hand on yours to stop your movements.

"Charles, what did you promise? 'You'll pay next time', that's what you said", you imitated his tone of voice and you burst out laughing.

"Can't you wait until next time?", he insisted and you gave him a death glare, making Charles realise there wasn't much he could do.

"Okay then", he gave in and you giggled smugly.

You went back to your seats after you paid, watching everyone get ready for the race.

"Do you have a favourite driver?", Charles wondered.

"I don't think so. Each one has something to offer to the races, and it's not like many of them are here", you spoke before seeing Lewis Hamilton approach one of the cars.

A song came on and you pulled Charles to dance with you, singing in his ear as he smiled, tightening his grip on your waist. "Now comes the part that no one knows how to sing", you added, moving away from Charles a little and he could notice your shyness, most likely because of the action you had done before.

You danced awkwardly, which earned you a couple of looks, and stopped when the announcer of the track, already full, made himself heard, announcing the race was about to start.

"I love this part", you smiled, getting a kiss from Charles on the hair that was not covered by your cap.

The race started out well and everything seemed to be going as they hoped, the announcer mentioning some facts they had about the historic race.

"THAT'S AN OVERTAKE!", you shouted and the entire section stood up, celebrating yet another great move from Lewis.

You screamed euphorically, pulling Charles into a quick hug, before joining in the celebrations with the rest of the fans.

This girl was out of this world, Charles thought.

"I've never seen a girl like you", he said, automatically enchanted by you.

"That's because I'm an exclusive edition", you joked and you both laughed, "Is that good?", you asked seriously.

Charles returned your gaze, nodding, "Very. You're different from everyone I've ever met", he admitted and you smiled, looking away from him.

"Good. That way, I don't have to worry about them", you shrugged.

Charles smiled, satisfied with the answer you had given him, "Come here" he asked in an act of courage, hugging you while you rested your head on his chest and focusing your attention on the race.

When the race ended for a break until the next one, you took the opportunity to go to the bathroom, while Charles chose to do the same.

Since he was quicker than you, given that the line was shorter, he waited for you outside, where there was a line of young people who were looking at him curiously.

"Finally", Charles muttered to himself as he watched you leave the compartment.

"What happened? Were you feeling watched over?", you made fun and he stuck his tongue out at you, pulling you closer to him. "Watched over?! It seemed like the girls were undressing me with their eyes", he accused.

"That was most likely exactly what was happening", you confirmed and he looked at you in shock, which made you laugh again, "What?! You can't judge them!", you argued.

Charles laughed, honestly pleased with what he had heard, "Oh really? Have you also undressed me with your eyes?", he whispered in youe ear.

"No, I prefer to do it with my hands", you murmured against his mouth and walked ahead of him, leaving him perplexed.

Well, take that, Charles, his subconscious spoke and he chuckled - the ability you had to leave him speechless was unbelievable. Noticing the faces you were making, he decided to return to your seats, where you were already dividing your attention between your cell phone and the track.

"What are you watching?", Charles asked, moving closer to you to observe what you were watching, spending some time watching the silliness and fun on her screen.

"The game is going to start again", Charles said as you quickly turned off the electronic device and hugged his waist, while you paid attention.

"What is he doing to Lewis?", Charles complained.

"Do not play around with him!", you joined.

"Maybe there's a favourite after all?", Charles teased you.

"Maybe, he is very skilled and handsome", you shrugged.

"Oh, good", Charles murmured, feeling a pang of jealousy at the way you had spoken about the driver.

Your laugh made him realize that you had noticed, "Charles, are you jealous?", you mocked and he rolled his eyes, avoiding looking at you.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know that word", he shrugged, trying to make you forget the subject but you didn’t give in.

Instead, you brought your hand to his face, making him look at you, "I’m here with you, aren’t I?", you asked seriously and he smiled weakly, nodding along, "So it’s not Lewis that interests me", you concluded, paying attention to the track again.

Charles sighed, pulling you closer to him, a gesture that made you smile.

Once the race ended, you headed towards the outside, trying to avoid the confusion as much as possible.

"Shall we eat something?", Charles asked you, intertwining your fingers, and you smiled shyly at him, which made him chuckle.

"Please!", you agreed and laughed out loud. "Suggestions?", he asked and you looked thoughtful.

"The center might not be a good idea because it must be full after this", you ruled out, "that new panini shop?", you suggested and he agreed.

You got in the car and headed towards the shop, ordering it to go and Charles ended up choosing a nice spot that overviewed the city.

"Tomorrow I'm going to race", he began, "I know it's not your tradition, but I'd like for you to come watch", he invited and you smiled.

"I'll be there", you agreed and it was his turn to smile, "At what time is it?", you wondered.

"At 10:00 in the morning. I know it's Sunday but...", Charles trailed off.

"Tomorrow, at that time, I'll be there to support you", you promised and he thanked you.

Charles parked the car and you got out of the vehicle, enjoying the fresh night air, which was quite pleasant. He cleaned his shirt and pants again and heard you laugh as you came closer to help him with the crumbs.

"Clumsy", you criticized jokingly, and he stuck his tongue out at you.

You sat down on one of the benches that were there and you sighed, making Charles look in your direction.

"How peaceful", you whispered, while keeping your eyes closed and a small smile on your lips.

"Monaco is really beautiful", Charles said, hearing you agree with a small murmur.

You took off your cap and tried to fix you hair, making Charles laugh.

"Let me help you", he gently asked and you turned to him, letting him fix the rebelliousness that characterized you.

As soon as he finished, he continued to caress them, which made you close you eyes to enjoy the affection.

"Kiss me", you murmured and he looked at you in surprise.

"What?", Charles asked, trying to understand if he had heard correctly.

"Kiss me, Charles", you repeated.

"Can I?", still astonished, he wanted to make sure.

"You should", you replied as Charles smiled at your answer and pulled you towards him, appreciating the serenity of your face.

"Finally", Charles whispered against your mouth before finally placing your lips together for the first time - of many, he hoped.

You allowed his tongue to enter your mouth when he silently asked for permisson and he intensified your kiss, truly surrendering to you.

And in eachother's lips, you discovered the path to peace, the one you both had lost years before with the pain that had overwhelmed you.

.

You woke up to the sound of the alarm clock, quickly getting up, not wanting to be late for Charles' race,

"Y/N, dear?", you heard the surprise in you mother's voice and couldn't help but laugh. "Hi, mama", you said, giving her permission to come in, and she did so.

"Are you going to tell me why you're up at this hour? Of all people, you who hibernates all weekend!", she joked and you stuck out your tongue, which made her laugh.

"I just felt like getting up, that's all", you said briefly, as you looked through your closet, looking for the most presentable, yet comfortable, clothes possible.

"And why are you going to dress so nicely if you're going to spend the whole day at home?", she mused, suspiciously, and you laughed at her curiosity.

"Okay, mama, you win", you eventually gave in and she celebrated, which made you laugh out loud.

"I'm going to watch the charity race", you said and her curious look made you realize that her questions were only at the beggining.

"Who's your boyfriend from there?", she didn't hesitate to ask and you looked at her, shocked etched on your face.

"Why do I have to have a boyfriend to watch the race?", you asked, astonished and she looked at you with an expression that said to not mess with her.

"Your mother is old but she's not stupid, Y/N", she scolded, laughing and you followed.

"Mama, you are forty-eight years old. You are a young woman", you complimented her, trying to make her drop about the subject and the older woman laughed.

"Yes, yes, sweetheart. Now the question I asked you", she insisted and you laughed, shaking your head.

"I don't have a boyfriend, mama. But I have a friend who would like me to go and I'm going", you told her and the smile she gave you made you blush.

"Name?", she wanted to know and you snorted, making her laugh.

"How annoying", you rumbled and she laughed again, "Charles".

"Then I hope this Charles takes care of you or the wooden spoon will fly", she threatened and you couldn't help but laugh with her.

"You're amazing, mama", you replied and she laughed, coming towards you and kissing your forehead.

"I just want you to be happy", she muttered, while caressing your face and smiling.

"I am", you assured her and she smiled, before walking away, leaving you alone again. You ran to the private bathroom and took a quick shower, leaving it shortly after so you could get ready in time. You applied some light makeup and dried your hair, leaving it in its natural waves.

You went down the stairs, passing through the living room, patting Simba on the head, the old Labrador who had always been with you, and whose name was based on Lucas' favorite movie.

"Good morning", you greeted your parents, although you had already spoken to your mother.

"Up so early, my dear?", your father was surprised and you looked at my mother, who was already looking at you with a suggestive smile that made you roll you

[ijustwannabepartofyoursymphonyy]

Under the weather

You never wanted him to see you like this.Bundled in three blankets, tissues scattered around your bed like sad confetti, and your nose redder than Rudolph's – this was definitely not how you pictured spending time with your boyfriend. But here you were, fighting a nasty cold that had knocked you flat for the past two days.

"Baaabe! I'm here~"Your heart skipped at the familiar sing-song voice echoing through your apartment. Of course Satoru would use the spare key you'd given him. How could he not. You pulled the blankets over your head, trying to become one with your mattress. Maybe if you didn't answer—"Playing hide and seek?" His voice was closer now, practically at your bedroom door. "You know I'll win. I can see you through anything, remember?"

"Go away, Toru," you croaked, voice raspy from coughing. "I look terrible."The bed dipped as he sat down, and you felt his hand pat what he probably guessed was your shoulder through the blanket fortress. "Impossible. You always look cute."

"I'm serious," you mumbled into your pillow. "I'm all gross and sick and—"The blankets were suddenly pulled back, and you squinted at the bright light flooding in. Satoru sat there, his signature sunglasses perched on his head, those stunning blue eyes fixed on you with such warmth it made your already fever-flushed cheeks burn hotter. "Hmm," he said, pretending to study you critically. "Yep, just as I thought. Still the most beautiful person I've ever seen.

"You grabbed a pillow and weakly swatted at him. "Liar. I'm a mess."

"A hot mess," he corrected with that infuriating grin of his. From seemingly nowhere, he produced a bag that smelled suspiciously like your favorite soup from the Chinese restaurant down the street. "And this hot mess is going to eat some soup, take her medicine, and let her incredibly handsome, caring boyfriend take care of her."

"But—"

"No buts!"

He was already pulling out containers, setting them on your nightstand. "Except yours, which needs to stay in this bed and rest."You felt a smile tugging at your lips. "You're going to get sick too, you know.

"Satoru's laugh filled the room like ray sunshine. "Please, I'm the strongest sorcerer in the world. A little cold doesn't stand a chance against me." He paused, his expression softening as he reached out to brush some hair from your forehead. "Besides, even if it did? Worth it to take care of my favorite person."Your felt yourself heating up again, and this time it had nothing to do with your fever. "You're ridiculous," you whispered, but you were smiling now.

"Ridiculously in love with you," he shot back, already opening the soup container and testing its temperature. "Now, do you want me to feed you, or are you going to be stubborn about that too?"You sat up slowly, accepting the spoon he offered. "I can feed myself, thank you very much."

"Shame," he sighed dramatically, but his eyes were twinkling. "I had this whole romantic 'airplane coming in for a landing' thing planned and everything."As you took your first sip of the perfectly warm soup, you watched him fuss around your room, picking up tissues and reorganizing your medicine with more care than most people would believe the infamous Gojo Satoru capable of. Your insecurities about him seeing you at your worst began to melt away, replaced by a warm feeling that had nothing to do with your fever.Maybe being sick wasn't so bad after all. Not when you had someone who loved you exactly as you were – messy hair, red nose, and all.

[badasoneandonly]

𝘍𝘖𝘙𝘞𝘈𝘙𝘋𝘚 𝘉𝘌𝘊𝘒𝘖𝘕 𝘙𝘌𝘉𝘖𝘜𝘕𝘋

Summary:

Hwang In-Ho’s world shatters when he finds Y/N, the woman who tethered him to humanity, dead after jumping from their apartment building. Cradling her lifeless body, he’s consumed by grief and guilt, realizing too late the depth of her pain.

𝘎𝘌𝘕𝘙𝘌: ANGST, SUICIDAL, SAD LOVE,

A/n: this is my first time writing a fanfic so pls let me know what you guys think ^_^, and i recommend to listen to the music to get urself into the mood ^_^

The whiskey sat untouched on the table, its amber liquid reflecting the dim, flickering light of the room. Hwang In-Ho slouched in his chair, staring blankly at his phone. Y/N’s name flashed at the top of his screen—a message sent hours ago, its words haunting him.

“Goodbye, In-Ho. I hope you find peace one day.”

He should have called her. Replied. Anything. But what could he say? How could he pull her back from the same abyss he was barely surviving himself?

The sound of sirens shattered his thoughts.

Red and blue lights illuminated the room, casting eerie patterns on the walls. In-Ho’s brow furrowed as he moved to the window, peering down at the commotion below. A crowd was gathering outside the apartment complex across the street. Paramedics hurriedly unloaded a stretcher while police cordoned off the area.

Something in his chest tightened—a premonition he couldn’t shake.

He grabbed his coat and rushed out the door.

---

The air outside was cold and sharp, biting at his skin as he pushed through the crowd. Whispers reached his ears, fragmented and chilling.

“Someone jumped.”

“From the top floor…”

“She didn’t even scream.”

In-Ho’s heart pounded in his chest, a sickening dread spreading through him. He pushed forward, his breath catching when he saw the scene unfold.

A lifeless body lay on the pavement, surrounded by medics and officers. The sheet covering it was already stained with blood.

And he knew.

He knew before his eyes even registered the familiar outline of her figure, the dark hair spilling from beneath the fabric.

“Y/N.”

The word left his lips as a broken whisper. His legs moved on their own, carrying him toward her despite the voices shouting for him to stop.

He fell to his knees beside her, his hands trembling as he lifted the sheet.

Her face was pale, her eyes closed as though she were merely sleeping. But the stillness of her chest, the absence of her warmth—it struck him like a blade.

“No,” he choked, his voice cracking. “No, no, no.”

He gathered her in his arms, cradling her broken body against his chest. Tears streamed down his face, falling onto her hair as he rocked back and forth, his sobs echoing in the cold night air.

“You promised me,” he whispered, his voice shaking. “You promised you’d fight. That you wouldn’t give up.”

His grip tightened, his forehead resting against hers. “Why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you let me help you?”

But he already knew the answer. He had seen the pain in her eyes, the way it had consumed her like a fire. He had felt it himself, the weight of a world that demanded too much and gave nothing in return.

“Somewhere along the line, I lost my way…”

The lyrics played in his mind, a cruel reminder of the song they had once listened to together. Her favorite song. A melody that now felt like a requiem.

The crowd around them blurred, their murmurs fading into white noise. All that remained was the broken girl in his arms and the unbearable ache in his chest.

“Baby,” he whispered, his voice cracking, “both arms cradle you now". He whispers the lyrics in your ear providing comfort to your now dead body rocking it back and forth.

His tears fell freely as he held her, rocking her gently, as though he could lull her back to life. But the warmth never returned.

And in the cold, empty night, Hwang In-Ho broke completely.

Tags: @warlabels @kimeungun114 @xcinnamonmalfoyx

[literaryvein-reblogs]

hello hello! i love your blog and it has been a fantastic resource for me. if i may ask, how does one go about writing music? my character is put in a situation where listening to a song is a large part of a scene, and i want to describe the song and music itself. while i would describe a guitar or drum, the song i have in mind specifically is mostly digital (think similar to edm) so i'm not sure how to do it. do you have any idea how i could tackle this?

thank you in advance!

Writing Notes: Electronic Music

Electronic Music - any music involving electronic processing, such as recording and editing on tape, and whose reproduction involves the use of loudspeakers.

It is produced from a wide variety of sound resources—from sounds picked up by microphones to those produced by electronic oscillators (generating basic acoustical waveforms such as sine waves, square waves, and sawtooth waves), complex computer installations, and microprocessors—that are recorded on tape and then edited into a permanent form.

Generally, except for one type of performed music that has come to be called “live electronic music”, electronic music is played back through loudspeakers either alone or in combination with ordinary musical instruments.

Musicians are always quick to adopt and explore new technologies.

The fast-paced changes wrought by electrification, from the microphone via the analogue synthesizer to the laptop computer, have led to a wide range of new musical styles and techniques.

Electronic music has grown to a broad field of investigation, taking in historical movements such as musique concrète and elektronische Musik, and contemporary trends such as electronic dance music and electronica.

The Art of Noises (1913) by Luigi Russolo is an important text in the history of electronic music, because it is the first attempt seriously to categorise all sounds and, indeed, to treat them as potential music.

Russolo wrote:

Every manifestation of our life is accompanied by noise. The noise, therefore, is familiar to our ear, and has the power to conjure up life itself. Sound, alien to our life, always musical and a thing unto itself, an occasional but unnecessary element, has become to our ears what an overfamiliar face is to our eyes. Noise, however, reaching us in a confused and irregular way from the irregular confusion of our life, never entirely reveals itself to us, and keeps innumerable surprises in reserve. We are therefore certain that by selecting, coordinating and dominating all noises we will enrich men with a new and unexpected sensual pleasure. Although it is characteristic of noise to recall us brutally to real life, the art of noise must not limit itself to imitative reproduction. It will achieve its most emotive power in the acoustic enjoyment, in its own right, that the artist’s inspiration will extract from combined noises. Here are the 6 families of noises of the Futurist orchestra which we will soon set in motion mechanically:

Rumbles: Roars, explosions, crashes, splashes, booms

Whistles: Hisses, snorts

Whispers: Murmurs, mumbles, grumbles, gurgles

Screeches: Creaks, rustles, buzzes, crackles, scrapes

Noises obtained by percussion: Metal, wood, skin, stone, terracotta etc.

Voices of animals and men: Shouts, screams, groans, shrieks, howls, laughs, wheezes, sobs

In this inventory we have encapsulated the most characteristic of the fundamental noises; the others are merely the associations and combinations of these.

Some Electronic Music Vocabulary

ADSR – Stands for Attack, Decay, Sustain and Release – refers to the envelope [i.e., characteristic of a sound (e.g. volume or filter) as it changes over time; can be used as a tool to shape a sound over time] applied to a sound to shape it over time. Can be applied to the volume, filter, pitch or more. Can make things sound plucky, soft, or ambient etc.

Aliasing – Subtle distortion that occurs in the digital realm when the input frequency is higher than the sample rate. The sample cannot be measured accurately and thus introduces imperfections into the sound.

Ambience – Can refer to a sound in a track which creates a sense of space or atmosphere – typically achieved by the use of time-based audio effects such as delays and reverbs. Also can refer to the level of sound in a recording that contains background noise, separate to the intended recording. Typically this background noise is undesirable, but sometimes it is an aesthetic choice.

Arpeggiator – A MIDI Effect that turns a static chord into an arpeggio. If that doesn’t make sense, it makes things go bleep-bleep-bleep.

Atmosphere – A sonic effect created by reverb, long tails and quieter sounds. Referred to as the background of a track.

Beat Repeat – A type of effect that takes audio as an input and repeats the snippet back at timed intervals to create a glitch effect.

Chill – A loosely-defined term to describe the sound of more relaxed, deeper and melody-driven music in electronic music. Sometimes people refer to this as a genre in itself.

Distortion – The processing of audio such that extra harmonics and loudness are added, creating a more fuller or aggressive sound. Distortion types include tube, clipping, tape, diode, overdrive, fuzz and many more.

Doppler Effect – The sonic effect of frequencies sounding higher pitched when moving closer to an audio source, and lower pitched when moving away. Like when you drive past a police siren.

Formant – A vocal quality of a sound relating to vowels, and a filter type that achieves a vowel-like sound. If you’ve ever heard an ‘oooh’ or ‘aaah’, then you’ve heard what a formant sounds like.

Gate – An audio effect that reduces the volume of a sound once it passes below a certain threshold. It’s good for reducing background noise or unwanted sounds in a recording or sample. Just like your gate at home stops unwanted people coming into your house.

Glide – Portamento—when the pitch slides evenly from note to note

Lazer – A type of sound made by a synth that features fast-moving pitch envelopes to create a ‘pew pew’ type effect.

Masking – A phenomenon when two sounds with similar frequency content cause one to become ‘buried’ due to phase cancellation or differences is loudness. For example, two piano sounds playing at the same time might cause one of them to sound less powerful and thin in the mix.

Normalize – Increases a waveform’s level to its highest before it becomes distorted

Panning – The process of moving a sound either left or right in the stereo field. Panning is a great mix technique to achieve width and space.

Polar Pattern – The way a microphone picks up a sound. Some pickup sound in many directions, others only in one direction, and everything in between.

Reflections – Part of a reverb that creates echoes based off sounds hitting walls and bouncing around rapidly.

Transient – The initial start point of a drum sound, where the audio goes from near silence to sudden loudness. Sounds clicky.

Voice stealing – When a synthesizer is programmed to play more sounds than accessible voices shuts down some present voices so new tunes can be played

Tips for Writing About Music

The most important step when writing about music is to write, read, and listen to as much as possible. Writing hones your voice, while reading exposes you to various styles and information that will shape your writing. The wider the range of music you embrace and study, the better your perspective and critical ear.

Read about music: Understand as much as possible about music, from instrumentation to how artists create their song lyrics. Reading also helps teach the technical vocabulary specific to certain genres. To help you gain a better command of music, use music writing reference books, such as A Short Guide to Writing About Music by Jonathan Bellman and How to Write About Music, edited by Marc Woodworth and Ally-Jane Grossan. Both of these works discuss how to research and write about music effectively, and are great resources for new music writers.

Stay informed: Develop an understanding of news, events, and cultural conversations that inform songwriters. For example, understanding the politics behind Russian feminist collective/punk group Pussy Riot is necessary if you want to write an informed piece on their output.

Learn music theory: The more informed your technical language, the better your music writing will be. Elements such as BPM, timbre, crescendos, adagio, and other music sounds will help you more deeply understand a particular piece of music and its relationship to other songs on an album.

Listen to music: Don’t only listen to genres that you prefer, but expand your ear to different types of music. Artists are inspired by music across time and genre, and the best music critics recognize those references.

Put work out: Whether you join your school’s paper, do creative writing, or start your own blog, getting eyes on your work is imperative to improving your music writing. There are also online resources that aggregate opportunities and writing prompts for writers of all experience levels, providing a great opportunity for new writers to get their foot in the door.

Pitch to publications: Online and print publications are always looking for new pitches from writers. The more places you pitch, the more likely it is that you will sell a piece. Don’t be discouraged if you pitch one outlet and never hear back. Lean into your passion, keep writing, and pitch some more.

Also describe the effects of the song to your character/s. The effects of music can be described using various adjectives like relaxing, calm, refreshing, soothing, etc.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

Thanks so much, really glad to hear this! Choose which of these notes would be most appropriate to incorporate in your story. Do go through the sources as there are more information I wasn't able to include here.

Another reference on music-related terms, plus some great additions. And more resources that could help with describing sounds and scenes related to music in your story:

Words to Describe Sounds

100 Sensory Words

Some Percussion Instruments

Some Pop Music Vocabulary

Writing Template: Singing Scene

Finding the right words that could accurately describe the specific song you have in mind to your readers is one way to tackle this, but it's definitely a challenge. Hope you find the right words/references here!

[theonyxstate]

10 people I want to know better

Tagged by @anxiousthoughts365, tysm!💗

Last Song: Sex Drugs Whatever by Vienna Vienna, Family Line by Conan Gray

Favourite Colour: Mine is purple, actually! and green. gods i love green

Last Movie: Either a rewatch of Mulan (the og one!) or Cars 2, I dont remember which one was first

Last TV Show: Ranczo ("Ranch") on Netflix, lovely eastern european production. iykyk

Sweet/Spicy/Savoury: see now i am fueled by chocolate, i can eat literally any amount. BUTTT that can only be because i have my salty snacks on standby... and spicy is an entirely different category (meals). i can eat some but unfortuantely i am white, so its very limited😔

Relationship: Married, they were a single mother when i met them, so technically i have an adoptive daughter? but she lives with her grandparents after we moved, so we dont exactly have this parent-child relationship... together we have one precious boy, though!

the boy! (no i dont have human children, im not old nor settled down enough lmao)

Last Thing I Googled: lyrics to Blame It On Us by Vienna Vienna and automatic pencils (istg ive got three broken ones & i miss them)

Latest Obsession: ZOOKEEPING

after in a zoo nearby some little tigers were born i cannot stop learning about animal conservation and zoos nasbhs

Looking Forward To: family trip i go on at the end of february!

No pressure tags:

@lettertovera @this-small-boat @dyl-z @moonymoom @howthebodyfallsapart @allonsy-moony @l1ve-l4ugh-lov3craft

[theladyheroine]

Team Sonic’s Favorite Disney Movies! ✨👑

❥ Hello everyone! So, I was a little bored so I decided to make this lol, but I hope you enjoy! Thank you & have a good one! 🙌💕

Sonic 💙

Treasure Planet

He thinks Jim Hawkins is the coolest Disney protagonist: loves the action, the pirates, the dramatic flair of the characters, & the board! The solar board tricks are his favorite scenes! He sometimes asks Tails to make him one, but Tom says no. (Lol)

Loves the world building & even thinks about buying the original “Treasure Island,” says he will but completely forgets. Asked if there was a comic ver. or a graphic novel.

Was suspicious of Long John Silver, but adored their relationship at the end. Thinks his cyborg arm is cool!

Cars

Everyone saw this coming (lol) but Sonic adores the Cars franchise! Every single one! But prefers the first since they’re always the best ones, sings “Life is Highway” every time it comes on! Adds it to his running playlist or whenever he needs some good energy. The perfect mix of rock & country!

Wishes cars could talk after first watching this. Will sometimes go all the way to Arizona just to take a crack at running the canyons; Knuckles is the only one that knows…

Loves Cars 2! Thinks it’s hilarious but also pretty epic in its own way. Tow Mater makes him laugh every time.

Tails 💛

Big Hero 6

While the action & vibrant color schemes are amazing, he’s more interested in the advanced technology & world building. Loves Baymax & has even considered building his own version of a medical robot for Maddie’s work. But she claims they’re just fine. Tom has tried asking for a robotic housekeeper though!

Relates to Hiro Hamada a lot about wanting to prove himself as both a good friend & an inventor. Loves the passion Hiro puts into his work, but the big scene with Tadashi is a little too sad for Tails. 🥺

Cheers every time Baymax comes back! Will sometimes play the film as background noise when he’s working, or just the soundtrack.

Luca

The unique art style & colorful landscapes are what catch his eye first, until the whole sea monster bit rolls in. Loved the concept of them becoming human when dry, but sometimes doesn’t understand the science behind it. He might think a little too hard about it… 😅

Luca’s relationship with Alberto reminds Tails of him & Sonic when they met! You can guess who’s who (lol) but their hijinks with the race always make him giggle. It reminds Tails of Sonic’s antics.

Loves Luca’s want to learn & study things about the human world. Will look for a book about old Italian history or even sea creatures after he finished the movie. Every time!

Knuckles ❤️

Beauty & the Beast

Gets super into romance films after hanging out with Wade’s mom, & it’s always his first pick for family movie night! Enjoys the songs after Tom explains musicals, but Knuckles loves Belle’s endless curiosity & fearlessness. Absolutely despises Gaston though, sometimes he can’t sit through his song.

Enjoys the message of “beauty within” & loving someone for who they are, not for their appearance. If Shadow joins the family, they’re both watching this film! 😂

The ending always catches him off guard even though he knows what happens next. But the heartfelt moment between Belle & the Beast always tugs at his heart. Poor guy teared up a little when he first watched it.

Brave

Was immediately intrigued by the warrior princess! So much so he took up archery by carving his own bow & arrows. Until he used all the firewood to do so; he had to help Tom find more after that. But at least he’s a skilled archer now!

Finds the concept of a bear curse interesting, as to him bears are powerful but loving creatures. Honestly thinks it’s cool having a bear mom. He gets real invested once the action starts to kick in, & admires Merida’s valor greatly.

At one point he found a little bear cub out in the woods while training & believed it to be abandoned. Maddie flipped out when she saw it, & made Knuckles take it back home. He did & even became friends with the Mama bear.

Bonus! Shadow 🖤

Robin Hood

I imagine this was Maria’s favorite & she would always have this as an option for Shadow on movie night. A classic Disney film that also has a lot of whimsy & color, which Shadow appreciates since the main cast is so likable. Don’t tell anyone that though. 🤫

Loves romance as well & is not ashamed. Sees Marian & Robin as the perfect Disney couple since their will to be together is so strong. But sometimes wishes Maid Marian would do something other than wait for Robin, but he appreciated that pie toss! 🥧

Decided to take up archery along with Knuckles, but becomes frustrated he can’t get it right away. Eventually he gives up after attempting a trick shot on a smaller target, that being Sonic’s old baseball cap.

Finding Nemo

While Shadow loves his found family tropes, he really likes the film because of Nemo. Finds him & his little fin adorable, but enjoys Nemo’s determination to become better. Also don’t tell anyone. Especially Sonic! 😅

Finds the vibrant ocean images & setting very calming, but loves how educational it can be. With how animals work with their environment & whatnot. Especially the part with the whale, he gets so amazed but also very confused by it (lol).

Another secret is that he finds Dory funny; her little quips & funny moments usually get a small smile or even a chuckle out of him. Even her little noise effects during the jellyfish scene get him smiling! But her behavior reminds him of Maria a little bit, so he enjoys her screen time a little more.

[nanamineedstherapy]

His Chrysanthemums

Widower!Toji x GN!Reader

Summary: Grief lingers like a shadow, following even the strongest hearts. Toji’s world was shattered, and though time moved forward, he remained anchored to the memory of what he’d lost. A new presence offers a chance to heal, but unseen and unheard, someone fights to return to him, defying the laws of life & death. This ones for all those who wanted the mysterious hunk to be Toji, hope you guys are satisfied with this in the meantime I finish that story and cook up something for him. First time writing Toji in lead hehe.

Chrysanthemums, often referred to as "mums," with their vibrant blooms, carry a heavy weight of sorrow, frequently symbolizing grief and mourning in many cultures. Associated with death, they serve as poignant reminders of lost loved ones, evoking a deep sense of nostalgia and regret for moments that can never be reclaimed. Their presence speaks to the transience of life, a bittersweet acknowledgement of beauty that fades too quickly, leaving behind aching memories of separation and unrequited love. As the petals fall, they whisper of heartache and longing, setting the stage for a story steeped in loss and the haunting echoes of what once was. Song Rec. WC: 2,061

The cold wind sliced through the night like a dagger, sharp and unrelenting, carrying with it the faint scent of damp earth and dying flowers. Toji Zenin roamed the streets like a ghost of the man he used to be. His broad shoulders, once a symbol of his unyielding strength, now sagged under the weight of an emptiness that seemed infinite. His hands, scarred and calloused from a lifetime of battles, trembled as they clutched a bouquet of pale chrysanthemums.

The flowers weren’t for you.

The streets were quieter now, the hum of life dulled as the world prepared for sleep. Toji’s boots crunched against the gravel, his gait slow and deliberate. He hadn’t planned this walk. His feet simply carried him forward, driven by an unspoken need to escape the walls that seemed to close in tighter with every passing night.

The first year after you died was chaos—a storm of anger, grief, and regret that left him reeling. He’d lost himself in whiskey and violence, trying to drown the sound of your laughter that echoed endlessly in his mind. The second year was no easier. He numbed himself with work, burying every ounce of himself into missions, pushing his body to the brink just to feel something—anything—besides the ache of your absence.

But grief has a way of changing shape, of dulling its sharp edges into something heavier, more insidious. By the third year, Toji found himself hollow. The pain no longer roared; it whispered, constant and cruel. That was when he met her.

She wasn’t like you. She wasn’t trying to be.

Her kindness was quiet, unassuming. She didn’t pry or push. She simply sat beside him when he needed silence and spoke when the silence grew too loud. For the first time in years, Toji felt the faint stirrings of something he couldn’t quite name. It wasn’t joy—he wasn’t sure he’d ever feel that again—but it was a spark, a flicker of warmth in the cold expanse of his heart.

She didn’t try to fix him. She didn’t pretend she could. And for that, he was grateful.

Still, guilt clawed at him every time he caught himself smiling at something she said or leaning into her gentle touch. The weight of your memory was ever-present, a specter that loomed over every quiet moment, every tentative step forward.

Tonight, as he walked with the bouquet in hand, his chest felt tighter with every breath. The chrysanthemums, pale and fragile, seemed to mock him with their delicate beauty. He’d bought them without thinking, a reflex from a life he no longer lived.

He wasn’t sure when he decided he would confess his feelings to her. The thought had come unbidden, growing stronger with each passing day. It felt wrong, like a betrayal of everything you had shared, but it also felt necessary.

Yet, as he approached the park where they often met, the memories surged like a tidal wave, threatening to drown him. He saw flashes of you—your laughter, the way your eyes crinkled at the corners when you smiled, the warmth of your hand in his. He clenched his jaw, trying to shake the images loose, but they only grew stronger.

The park was nearly empty, the streetlamps casting pools of golden light on the cobblestone path. Toji hesitated at the entrance, his heart pounding in his chest. The bouquet felt heavy in his hands, as if it carried the weight of every unspoken word, every unfinished moment.

He hadn’t even seen her yet, but already he felt like he was making a mistake.

His mind raced with doubts. Would she even want this? Would she understand the shadows that clung to him, the parts of himself he could never share? Would she see him for what he truly was—a man broken beyond repair, trying desperately to piece himself back together?

He took a deep breath, steeling himself as he stepped forward. The sound of his boots echoed in the stillness, each step heavier than the last.

What Toji didn’t know—what he couldn’t possibly know—was that someone was watching him.

---

The afterlife was a void—silent, endless, and suffocating. It wasn’t the peace you’d been promised, nor the oblivion you might have welcomed. Instead, it was a cruel limbo where every moment stretched into eternity, and all you could feel was the unbearable ache of his absence.

The gods had taken you too soon, tearing you away from Toji with no warning, no time to say goodbye. You had begged for another chance, pleaded for mercy, but the heavens were indifferent to your suffering. Fate is immutable, they told you. The dead cannot return.

But you weren’t one to accept fate.

Your love for him was a force stronger than death itself. It fueled you, driving you to claw your way through the afterlife. You bartered with ancient spirits, battled celestial beings, and endured trials that shredded your soul piece by piece. You became a warrior in death, a ghost consumed by purpose. Every moment, every sacrifice, was for him.

The gods warned you. He has moved on. You will not find what you seek.

You didn’t care to listen.

Your resolve burned brighter than the stars, a flame that refused to be extinguished. You tore through the veil between life and death with sheer determination, leaving behind fragments of yourself in the process. When you finally returned, the world felt alien, like stepping into a life that no longer belonged to you.

What Toji didn’t know—what he couldn’t possibly know—was that you were watching him now.

Your spectral form lingered in the shadows as he walked through the park, his steps deliberate. You had dreamed of this moment for three long years, imagined his face lighting up with joy when he saw you again. But as you followed him, the truth began to sink in.

The chrysanthemums in his hands were not for you. The softness in his eyes was not for you.

You watched as he approached a woman sitting on a bench, her smile warm and inviting. Your heart clenched as he handed her the flowers, his voice low and hesitant as he spoke words you couldn’t hear.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

You had imagined this moment a thousand times. You had dreamed of the look on his face when he saw you again, the way he would pull you into his arms and swear never to let you go. But this? This wasn’t the reunion you had fought for.

You stepped closer, your ghostly form trembling with the effort. The world around you felt heavy, the air thick with the weight of your grief. You reached out, your fingers brushing against his shoulder, but he didn’t flinch. He didn’t see you.

He couldn’t.

You stumbled back, the realization crashing over you like a tidal wave. You had fought gods and torn apart the fabric of your soul to return to him, only to find that you were nothing more than a shadow—a forgotten memory lingering in a world that no longer needed you.

You ran.

The forest loomed ahead, dark and endless, but you didn’t care. Your sobs echoed through the trees, raw and heart-wrenching, a symphony of pain that seemed to reverberate through the very earth.

You found yourself in the graveyard.

The air was cold, the silence broken only by the rustling of leaves and the distant chirping of crickets. You stood before your own tombstone, the sight of it stealing the breath you no longer had.

Beloved Wife. Forever Missed.

The words carved into the stone felt like a mockery.

You weren’t missed.

You were forgotten.

You collapsed to your knees, clutching at the earth above your grave. The soil was damp, a cruel reminder of the finality you had fought so hard to defy. Your sobs tore through the quiet night, raw and unrestrained. You had given up everything to return to him, only to find that the world had moved on without you.

You clutched at your chest as if you could rip the anguish out of yourself.

“Why?!” You wailed, your voice breaking. “Why did I come back? Why did I fight for this?!”

The heavens remained silent.

---

You didn’t notice Toji at first, too consumed by the overwhelming weight of your despair. The forest around your grave blurred into an endless haze of muted greens and grays, your wails swallowed by the indifferent silence of the world.

Then you heard it—the crunch of gravel beneath heavy boots.

You looked up, your ghostly form trembling. Toji stood there, his figure clear against the hazy backdrop. He held chrysanthemums in his hands, the same ones you’d seen him give to her.

Why were they here?!

Your heartbeat—or what remained of it—sank in your chest.

He approached slowly, his movements cautious, as though stepping into sacred ground. His face was a canvas—grief, regret, and something you couldn’t quite place.

He sat by your grave, his head bowed. For a long moment, he didn’t speak, the silence between you both as suffocating as the chasm that separated you.

When he finally did, his voice was barely a whisper. “I tried,” he said, the words cracking under their own weight. “I tried to move on. But it’s not the same. It’ll never be the same.”

You felt your chest tighten, the ache in your soul almost unbearable.

“She’s with someone else,” he continued, his tone laced with bitter amusement. “Gojo, of all people. Should’ve seen that coming.”

Relief flooded through you, unbidden and unwelcome, a bitter reminder of your own selfishness. You hated yourself for it, for the small part of you that found comfort in knowing he hadn’t truly moved on.

He didn’t deserve this; your baby didn’t deserve this. Wasn’t his family’s torment enough misery to last a lifetime? He deserved peace, love, and happiness—things you could no longer provide. The weight of your absence pressed heavily on your heart, a constant ache that reminded you of all the moments you would never share again.

You wished for him to find solace, yet the thought of him moving forward without you felt like a betrayal. It was a cruel twist of fate that left you longing for his happiness while knowing you could never be a part of it.

“I keep seeing your face,” he said, breaking you out of your own spiral, his voice trembling. “Hearing your voice. Every time I try to forget, it’s like you’re right there, haunting me.”

Your heart shattered all over again. You wanted to scream, to cry out, I am here! I fought for you! I came back for you!

But no sound escaped your lips.

Toji placed the flowers on your grave, his hand lingering on the cold stone. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “For not being enough when you were here. For even thinking I could replace you now that you’re gone.”

You reached out, your ghostly hand trembling as it hovered inches from his cheek. Then, with every ounce of will you had left, you brushed your fingers against his hand.

He froze.

For a moment, it felt as though he could feel you, as though the distance between you had finally closed. His breath hitched, his head snapping up to look around.

“Who’s there?” He whispered, his eyes scanning the empty clearing.

You stayed silent, your ghostly form sagging in defeat as he stood. He shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. “Guess I’m losing my mind now, too.”

He walked away, his shoulders heavy with the weight of his grief. You stayed behind.

You collapsed onto your grave, your wails swallowed by the indifferent silence of the world. Your screams echoed through the cemetery, unheard by the living but reverberating through the void.

“I’m sorry,” you cried, your voice breaking. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve stayed. I should’ve fought harder. I should’ve—”

The words died in your throat. You realized, with a painful clarity, that it didn’t matter anymore. You were gone. And he was alive.

All you could do now was let him go.

As dawn broke over the cemetery, you faded back into the ether, leaving behind nothing but the faint scent of chrysanthemums.

A/N: Thank you for reading this story—I poured my soul into writing it, and I hope it broke your heart just a little (or a lot). Let me know your thoughts in the comments! Your takes mean the world to me.

All Works Masterlist

[bellysoupset]

I'm going to ask again since we haven't seen sick Leo in a while. How about, he and Jonah are at some sort of wedding vendor convention/show for engaged couples (these really do exist in the US), and all the caterers have samples for people to taste and they're having a great time until Leo realizes one of the cakes they tasted came from the bakery that supplied his work birthday cake that made him and Jon so sick. So then he's freaking out/whiny/being adorably Leo that he's absolutely going to get sick and Jonah's a fucking doctor and can't he do something (I'm thinking Leo going way overdramatic and asking for his stomach to be pumped or something) and Jonah keeps rolling his eyes and telling him that he's fine.

And then later Leo does start feeling sick but at first Jonah doesn't believe him but then he pukes and he's like "I told you so" but Jonah doesn't so it turns out either than he got food poisoning from one of the appetizers he sampled that Jon didn't (like, it had an ingredient he didn't like or Leo just at a fuckton of them and Jonah only had a bite), or else he got the Vince/Lucas plague somehow.

Is that detailed enough lol? I just want Leo and Jon cute bitching at each other please. And then Jon caretaking when he realize that yes, Leo is actually unwell.

But hey, no pressure.

No pressure lmao. I tried to type this one as fast as I could, so maybe it can get a part 2? Not sure!

-------

"I won't preteeend, that I won't miss thiiiis," Leo squealed, hand in hand with Jon and all but skipping, "But Portland, Maine, I don't know where that iiiis."

Jonah let out a snort as his fiancé sang the chorus again, "do you only know this part of the song?" he grinned and Leo waved him off.

"And you can go ahead and hate me, that's just fine," he sang smugly, "It doesn't matter either way, I'm right. Portland, Maiiiine-"

Jonah rolled his eyes as the off-key singing continued, pulling Leo closer by their clasped hands and shutting him up with a kiss, "you're silly."

"Yeah, but you love me," the blonde chuckled, kissing him back and then moving so he could press a kiss to Jonah's shoulder, keeping them closer as they continued to walk through the conference center in Portland.

They had gotten to the town at 8 AM, but regardless of the early hour, the event was packed. Each vendor had its own stand and they were organized in several rows, by different categories.

Jonah wasn't particularly thrilled, he felt that this was the type of place couples went to get discounted prices and he had no desire to bargain on his wedding, he wanted the best, no matter the cost. Nevertheless, Leo was beaming. He loved any type of sales, but most importantly, he clearly loved being involved in the planning.

It was 10:30 AM by now and Jon's stomach was starting to rumble with hunger. Leo clearly probably didn't share this feeling, since he had been trying every single food sample that the many stands kept offering him.

"Okay, so we're set on the black invitations?" Jonah reached for the iPad in his bag, looking at the itemized list Wendy had helped him put together. She was an amazing party organizer and he the harder part of asking for her help on anything was to get her to stop.

"Only if you agree on the different lining," Leo rested his chin on Jon's shoulder, "I really liked the one that was a photoshoot."

"I thought those were pretty as well," Jonah turned his head just in time to plant a kiss on the tip of Leo's nose, causing his boyfriend to scrunch it adorably, "this means we need to find two different photographers, one for the wedding, one for the photoshoot-"

"Could be the same one," Leo shrugged, tugging him towards a table, "oh try this-" he said, eyeing the fancy chocolate truffles. Jonah eye rolled at him.

"No, it's going to spoil my appetite," he scoffed, going through their list, "I wanna get a look at the venue representatives here-"

"Okay, okay, okay..."

Two hours later and Jonah was feeling extremely proud of himself. He had connected with several vendors and booked two different venue tours, besides they had matched well with several photographers and stylists-

His stomach let out a grumble, loud enough that Leo heard and raised his eyebrows, even in the crowded space, "that was your tummy?"

Jonah's cheeks burned and he looked away, crossing his arms, "I'm starving-"

"The cafeteria closed thirty minutes ago," Leo sighed, already pulling out his phone to search for a restaurant. Jonah shifted, he was really hungry, he had been so focused on the task at hand that he hadn't really thought about eating.

"Here," Jon stepped forward and grabbed some shrimp canapes from one of the stands, taking their card as well, although that was just for show, "have some-" his cheeks were burning from the embarrassment of it all, but there was no other immediate option and his insides were hurting.

Jonah ate his two canapes and Leo took one, munching on it without looking up from his phone, "alright, there's a restaurant about thirty minutes away from here on foot," he said, licking his thumb, "doesn't seem fancy, but if you're really hungry-"

"I'm starving," Jonah nodded, tagging along with him, "I was dumb."

Leo snorted at that, rolling his eyes as he ate his second shrimp canape, "nothing new ther- What's that?"

"What?" Jonah glanced down at his body, since Leo was glaring at him, "what is it?"

"In your hand?"

"Oh, just the card of the shrimp canapes. They're really good, by the way, though I might just be starv-" Jonah's voice faded as Leo snatched the card from his hand and then let out a loud groan.

"JON!" He whined, loud enough that some people looked their way, "Jon, that's Culinary Chic's card!"

He simply blinked at his boyfriend, confused, "should I know them...?"

"YES! These are the pricks who poisoned us on my birthday! The ones who did the cupcakes!" Leo's face paled and he let out a queasy groan, "oh my god, I'm gonna be sick."

Jonah rolled his eyes at his histrionics, "you had two little canapes, baby. Besides, it's not a very original name, it's probably a different cate-"

"Nope," Leo whined, continuing to walk, hunched over as if his stomach was hurting even though Jon was fairly sure it was down right impossible for him to be feeling sick 30 seconds after swallowing his food, "I'd know their logo anywhere, the office sued them- See! It says on the back that they're from Welton!"

Jonah cringed, "well, that's not ideal," he agreed, "but I feel fine. I'm sure you're just being dramatic-"

"Can you get it out of me?" Leo asked, just as they stepped outside the conference center. It was windy outside and Jonah shivered, while his fiancé collapsed dramatically on one of the benches on the sidewalk, "please? If we go to a hospital, can you do your mojo, get my stomach pumped-"

"Leo," Jonah cackled, standing in front of him and messing Leo's hair, "don't be ridiculous, I couldn't do that even if I believed you're actually feeling sick, which I don't."

"Do you hate me?" Leo's voice came out muffled as he leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Jon's tummy and wrapping both arms around his stomach, "I can feel it churning inside of me."

Jon let out a scoff, patting his back, "there, there. Can you get up? I'm really hungry, Leo. Starting to feel woozy from hunger, really."

Leo got up, pouting the entire time and moved away as Jonah tried to take his hand, "no, don't talk with me, you don't believe me," he squeezed his eyes as if he felt a cramp, "that fucking place poisoned me, again, and you won't even do anything about it."

Jonah glared at the side of his head, continuing to walk. He wasn't kidding about feeling woozy, while Leo had snacked all day on samples, Jon hadn't eaten since the day before.

"Okay, Leo, whatever," he snapped, feeling a little sting of annoyance. Couldn't his boyfriend save the scene for later, when Jonah wasn't about to collapse from hunger?

The rest of the walk was quiet. Jonah was feeling genuinely dizzy and Leo seemingly had gotten offended, so he was walking next to him with his arms wrapped around his belly and glaring at the ground.

"Is this the place?" Jon asked, as they stopped at a little rundown tiny restaurant. It was definitely not fancy, but it'd do. The smell of the food was amazing.

Leo nodded, not looking at him, "uh-hum."

With a tired huff, Jonah walked ahead and inside the place. Leo followed him without a word.

He ordered the first thing his eyes latched on, as well as a coke, then turned expectantly to Leo, "what do you want?"

"Nothing," Leo shook his head, with a grimace, "a water."

"You're not going to be sick," Jonah sighed as soon as the waiter was gone, rubbing his temples, before reaching over the table to squeeze Leo's wrist, "I ate the same as you, baby, I'm not sick."

"Well, I'm sick of your voice, so clam up," Leo bit back, squinting at him, "if you won't believe me, then don't talk with me. My stomach hurts."

Jonah rolled his eyes, grimacing as his own belly cramped, although in his case it was because of hunger, "alright, shutting up," he pulled out his phone in order to avoid looking at Leo.

They sat there in deadly silence for fifteen minutes, until finally the waiter came over with his order. Leo reached for his water bottle immediately, while Jonah barely had enough time to thank the waiter before he was munching on the food as fast as he could.

It was rare that he allowed himself to be this impolite, but truly he was starting to see some colorful dots in front of his eyes.

Jonah was so focused and famished, that it was only when he was halfway through his meal that he slowed down and let out a relieved sigh, lowering his fork and knife, "are you sure you don't wanna order something? It's actually really good-"

"No," Leo had lowered his forehead to the table, "I think I'm gonna throw up."

"Because of one measly shrimp canapé?" Jonah teased him, still not buying it, "doubt it."

It was the wrong thing to say, because Leo straightened up in his seat, pressing his hand to his lips and swallowing convulsively, "please, stop talking about food..." his voice was weaker now and Jon frowned.

"Are you actually sick?"

Instead of answering him, as soon as Leo lowered his hand, a sick belch rolled past his lips. His whole face turned red and he let out a whine, lowering his head in shame, "I'm sorry, excuse me-"

Jonah frowned, "Leo?"

His fiancé fidgeted, then shot up from his seat, cradling his stomach, "I- I'll be right back..." he grumbled in a thick, distorted voice, before shooting away in the direction of the bathrooms.

Jonah grimaced in sympathy, but still didn't get up. If Leo was sick, then he had a very long day ahead of him. And, in truth, Jon still wasn't fully convinced Leo hadn't talked himself into feeling queasy or upset his stomach with all the samples he had eaten.

He finished his meal, then drummed his fingers against the table, unnerved by Leo not returning. Jonah counted five more minutes, before fishing out his phone once again.

"Wow, so fucking worried over my wellbeing, you dickhead," Leo scoffed, as soon as he came back to the table, collapsing on his seat. Jonah rolled his eyes, lifting up his head and turning the phone around.

"I was getting us a hotel room, you prick," he glared at Leo, "clearly you're in no shape for us to drive back to Welton."

Leo's eyes widened, adorably, as he glanced from the screen with the booked room, then back to Jonah, then they welled up in tears, "Ah... I'm sorry-"

"What- No! Nononono-" Jonah leaped from his seat, so he could crouch down in front of Leo's, "no, baby, don't cry. That's alright, I didn't believe you, I was a dick-"

"You booked us a hotel room..." Leo sniffled, rubbing angrily the microtears glued to his lashes, "and I was a jerk and I feel so-so horrible-"

"I know, I know," Jonah cooed, biting down an amused smile at the over the top reaction. He reached in, cupping Leo's cheeks and wasn't even a little bit surprised as heat met his hands, "you're running a fever, love. Did you end up throwing up?"

"No," Leo shook his head, curling up and lowering his forehead to Jonah's shoulder, "other end," his voice came out muffled and from the corner of his eye Jon could see his cheeks turning red.

He let out a sympathetic noise, "that sucks. Do you think you can handle the walk back to our car in the conference center or you'd rather we just took a taxi straight to the hotel?"

Leo let out a whimper and his answer was entirely swallowed as he ducked his head and muffled a burp in his hand.

"Leo?"

"Taxi," his face had turned the color of spoiled milk, "I really don't feel well, Jon..."

"I know, darling, I think you caught some bug," Jonah stroked his cheek, ignoring the confused looks from the other patrons in the restaurant and clicking around on his phone to call them a ride.

"Go wait outside, I'll get you a bag," Jon instructed, pulling Leo up a minute later, "go, baby-"

The tip of Leo's nose was still red and he looked every little bit like puss in boots, making it very hard for Jon to keep a straight face. Still, the blonde walked out, while Jonah went to the cashier to get the bill and ask for a plastic bag, as well as a new water bottle.

As soon as he made it outside, though, he realized he too late. Leo had had the decency of not throwing up right in front of the restaurant, he was by the end of the street, but braced against a street lamp and projectile vomiting in the gutter.

Jon's stomach clenched and he tried, really hard, not to gag. It took all the love in him to walk closer and plant a hand on Leo's back, squeezing his shoulder in a reassuring manner.

There was absolutely no chance in hell he could even afford to glance at the mess, after having just eaten, so Jonah opted for only standing there and checking their ride in the app, making sure Leo wasn't about to collapse down.

After what felt like an eternity, but his phone told him was exactly six minutes, Leo coughed and spat, letting out a groan, "what the fuck was this..." his words were sticking together and he stumbled back, before leaning against Jon's side, "god..."

"Very impressive," Jonah mumbled, gulping down his own gag and breathing slowly through his mouth, "take a sip, baby-" he pushed the water bottle in Leo's shaky hands, "a small one."

Leo took the smallest sip he could, before wrapping a hand around his belly and grimacing, "it's churning like hell... How long for the taxi?"

"Two minutes," Jonah combed his fingers through Leo's sweaty hair, guiding him slowly away from the disgusting mess, "I'll rub your tummy for as long as you want, as soon as we're in the room."

"Uhm," Leo pressed a fist to his mouth, muffling a wet burp and moved back to the street in order to spit out a mouthful of frothy saliva, "remember you said that."

[yorit1]

Elphaba was excited. She was taking Glinda to the aquarium, and Glinda loved fish and other sea creatures. She would be over the moon.

Elphaba went to Glinda from behind and hugged Glinda close to Elphaba’s chest.

“I’m so excited, Elphie. FISHIES!!!” Glinda said excitedly.

“Yes, Glinda fish. It is exciting,” Elphaba said.

Elphaba kissed Glinda softly and then peppered kisses along her cheek and down her face. Glinda giggled.

“Are you ready to go?” Elphaba asked.

“Is my outfit okay?” Glinda asked.

“You look beautiful,” Elphaba said.

“So do you, Elphie. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen,” Glinda said.

Glinda threw her arms around Elphaba and hugged her tightly to Glinda’s chest.

“Okay let’s go,” Glinda said.

Glinda took Elphaba’s hand, and the two walked out the door of their apartment.

Elphaba opened the car door for Glinda and held it open for her. When Glinda entered the car, Elphaba closed the door behind her. Elphaba entered the vehicle on the driver's side.

“I get to pick the music?” Glinda said.

“But I’m driving,” Elphaba said.

“You know I can’t drive, Elphie. Today is my day, so I get to pick the music since you are surprising me with the fishies,” Glinda said.

“Fine,” Elphaba said and rolled her eyes fondly.

“How long until we are at the aquarium?” Glinda asked.

“Chill, we haven’t left yet. It should take five minutes,” Elphaba said.

“Five minutes until the fishies. I’m so excited and can’t hide it,” Glinda started singing.

“Oh, you’re in an eighties music mood?” Elphaba asked.

“Eighties fits the mood of the day,” Glinda said.

“So, what are you most excited to see?” Elphaba asked.

“Nemo and Dory,” Glinda responded.

“Oh yes, our childhood,” Elphaba said.

“I wonder if we will see them together, and they’ll just keep swimming?” Glinda asked. “Are we almost there?”

“Two more minutes,” Elphaba said.

“I’m ready. I’m ready,” Glinda said.

The minutes passed quickly, and Glinda sang her songs. Elphaba parked the car and exited it. She opened the door for Glinda and held out her hand for her to take. Glinda took Elphaba’s hand, and the two walked into the aquarium.

“Yes, it is time,” Glinda whispered to Elphaba.

“Two full-access tickets, please?” Elphaba asked.

Elphaba paid for the tickets, and they walked into the aquarium.

“Can we go to Nemo and Dory first?” Glinda asked.

“Sure. the guide said it was this way,” Elphaba said.

Elphaba laid Glinda to where the clown fish were.

“Elphie look, its Nemo, and there is Dory,” Glinda said excitedly.

“Glinda, there are other people here,” Elphaba said.

“Elphie, you are the best partner ever. I can’t believe we are together,” Glinda said excitedly.

A woman walked up to Elphaba and smiled at her.

“Excuse me, you and your partner are so cute. Do you want a picture of the two of you together?” the woman asked.

“Why thank you, we are adorable. We would love a photo,” Glinda said.

Elphaba stood by Glinda, and the two posed by the fish tank. In one photo, Glinda pointed to the clownfish and smiled. In another photo, Glinda kissed Elphaba on the cheek.

“I love you, Elphie. I can’t believe I get to see the fishies with you,” Glinda said.

“I would do anything for you, Glinda, because I love you too,” Elphaba said.

The woman handed Glinda her phone, and Glinda looked at the pictures.

“We are so cute. All our friends will be so jealous of what a cute couple we make,” Glinda said.

“We are the cutest couple. I’m so lucky to have you in my life, Glinda. Want to see the sharks next?” Elphaba asked.

“O,h sharks. They are so big and bad. I love big and bad things,” Glinda said excitedly.

Elphaba loved sharks. Elphaba felt like she could relate to sharks a lot. They were misunderstood and villainized. Elphaba was also misunderstood and villanized for much of her life. Because of her skin colour, people expected her to be evil, but she was just a rebel who wanted justice for all that was wrong in the world. Before she met Fiyero, Glinda Elphaba thought she would be alone. Fiyero and Elphaba taught her that being different was an asset. Glinda also loved Elphaba unconditionally, warts and all.

“Glinda, I am so lucky to meet you back in college. Without you, I would still be the loner who thought she would forever be alone. But you friended me, and I became more than what was expected of me. I am like the sharks who misunderstand,” Elphaba said.

Glinda took Elphaba’s face in her hands and lightly caressed her cheek.

“Oh, Elphie. Like the sharks, you are much more than what you see on the outside. If it were not for you, I would appear to everyone to be vapid and shallow. But thanks to you and your depth, I am who I was always meant to be. You are the most beautiful person inside and out, Elphie,” Glinda said.

Glinda caressed Elphaba’s cheek and softly kissed Elphaba. The kiss conveyed how much Glinda loved Elphaba. Glinda wanted to show Elphaba that she was wanted and loved.

“I love you more than anything, Elphie,” Glinda said.

“I love you too, Glinda,” Elphaba said.

“Okay, we have seen the sharks and fishies, and now it is time to see the seals. I want to see them do the ball tricks,” Glinda said excitedly.

Glinda and Elphaba walked with their hands clasped in each other’s and to where the seals were.

“Oh My God, they are so cute!” Glinda exclaimed.

“Not as cute as you,” Elphaba said.

“Aww, Elphi,e you falter me,” Glinda said.

Glinda and Elphaba sat down and watched the seals show. The seals played with balls and came in and out of the water. Glinda was mezmerized by what she saw.

“Best day ever. I have the world’s best partner, and she is amazing. I love Elphie more than anything,” Glinda exclaimed excitedly.

The attendant asked them if they wanted a photo with the seal. Glinda nodded enthusiastically.

Glinda and Elphaba posed with the seal, which was a ball on its nose. They stood with their hands around each other. In one picture, and kissed Elphaba’s cheek. “Ready to head home?” Elphaba asked.

“Yeah, I’m ready to head home. I will show you how much I appreciate you when we get home. You and me in bed,” Glinda said, holding Elphaba close to Glinda’s chest.

Glinda kissed Elphaba with a promise of what was to come. Elphaba drove quickly to their home, and they enjoyed the rest of their day in bed.

[ravenwind-75]

The boy who became Indigo

Word count: about 1468 idk

Characters: Sebastian Sallow

Warnings: Angst

a/n: No beta (wrote late at night) and unedited. You can thank all the tiktok edits of Sebastian to this song lately. And @heylorrain who introduced me to this song.

tagging @butternutt613 who wanted to see this.

—————————————

There used to be a boy who shone so brightly. A boy full of curiosity and joy. Laughing and frolicking with his sister on summer days, his best friend with a beaming grin beside him. Days at school spent pulling elaborate pranks, studying together long into the night. All Sebastian wanted to do was live, to live as fully as he could. To learn, explore, to see the world in its fullest. Sebastian had dark days, but that was before magic came into his life. He was too young to help his parents, too young to learn something that could have saved them. His uncle was old. He only knew the old ways. Sebastian was sure that there was something that he missed. His parents had always told him that books held the answers. And his uncle didn’t read.

When magic came into his life the world opened up so much more to him. He could create things at the flick of his fingertips. He could do the impossible. There were endless possibilities and he wanted to do them all. He loved the thrill that came with dueling, with controlling an element as powerful as fire with a thrilling whoosh of a simple piece of wood infused with magic. Magic that came from inside of him. His mother had called him her golden boy. And the magic he felt inside him, the magic others saw, was just as warm. Ominis had told him that one time.

“You’re like the sun, Sebastian. You’re warm and gentle, but fiery and explosive at times. But it compliments you. It fits you. You just have this essence, that’s pure, positive, and dependable. Bright. And you’re valuable to me, my most prized, only friendship. You have a heart of gold.”

Sebastian had ruffled his hair, and laughed it off, not knowing what to do with the praise. “You’re one to talk Mr. Golden hair himself. You’re more perfect than me. My uncle seems to think so.”

“You’re blinding, that's why. If I was any metal I’d be silver. Cold, pure, and reflective. Of you.”

~~

The first scratch, the first flaw to cut into that heart of gold was a large one. A long big chunk out of the middle. The piece that belonged to his sister. When she was cursed so was he, each scream scraping along that heart of gold and chipping away. But even flawed gold can shine. It can shine in a flashing grin when it sees something brighter than itself. Something that sparkles with brilliance. The girl who knocked him down.

Sebastian was always there for her. First to jump in to take her to Hogsmeade, fight beside her in crossed wands, carry her books between classes, and help her find a lost book.

Ominis noticed that Sebastian shone again for her.

The gold had been fading away as he pined for his sister, little impurities sneaking in and there, impacting his quality of life as he spent many nights poring over magic of all types, selling himself for answers, filling the holes with everything else.

As the sun shone brighter again, it cast rainbows through the diamond, which reflected on the silver. All was well...

Yes, they ignored how the laser-like curse cut through Sebastian with the guilt he felt. How when the relic made one fade it made the other who reflected fade too. And how when the diamond dimmed in the shadows, she never lost her clarity of it all. Of what he was becoming.

Oh, the golden-hearted boy- how he faded. He was barely gold anymore. He was imperfect and flawed. He lacked depth and was cold and detached. He was prone to fully breaking. He was a purple gold now, fragile, hard, and brittle. Subject to crack at sudden impact.

~~

Sebastian’s heart was fracturing, the cracks spreading wide enough to slowly change him. Growing larger every day. Sebastian had been cold for a while now- cold with the guilt, the absence of his sister's once radiant presence.

The boy who once lived fully, loved fiercely, shining like the sun now looked at the world through a dull reflective sheen like aluminum. A distorted image of himself and others. His magic, once pure and warm, felt as hollow as his dark eyes. The heart of gold was becoming something- it had become something less. Less brilliant, less luminous, a mere shadow of itself-himself.

When he was alone he felt it the most. That all that was left of him was a ghost, his former self gasping for air as it faded every day, away forever. Each piece fell away as he cracked. Mostly it was his uncle. The man who had never believed in him, never even his childhood dreams. The man who told him to give up on saving all he had left of his family. He never saw past the old traditions, he was convinced it was futile. “It’s impossible”! He always said.

Sebastian even when he was shining wasn’t good enough. Always inadequate. Every time he looked at him with disdain, dismissed him, and crushed his hopes in front of Sebastian’s eyes, the cracks got deeper. The pressure built. The weight of his failure, his guilt, the fear of losing Anne - became unbearable.

His diamond girl, her sharp true words cut through him the most, cutting deep into his melancholy purple-gold soul. Even pure gold can be cut by one. And he was even more fragile than that.

The breaking point came- the final snap.

When his uncle stood before him, lecturing him about dark magic and threatening his diamond girl. When he snatched all Sebastian had poured himself into out of his hand and destroyed his hopes once and for all. Taking the hope of being with Anne again away forever.

At last the cracks split through.

The words echoed in his mind, “You are not enough."

In a flash, in a flare of hot rage and despair, he uttered the words summoned from the darkest depths of his soul. A curse he had never dared use. One he didn’t even know would work but the hatred, the suppressed emotions all exploded from him in a violent surge of green crackling energy.

He watched with horror as his uncle fell to the cold floor, the light going from his eyes as he was wrapped in death’s embrace. Sebastian stood frozen and numb as his wand tumbled from his hand with a small echoing clatter.

~~

The next few hours passed in a blurry haze of numbing tears. Anne no longer wanted to see him. Ominis wanted to turn him in and she was bruised by her conflicted feelings. He knew it was his fault- that he had gone too far. He had murdered his family. He was fully and completely broken, irreversibly.

“The thing is I think I’ve lost my sister, my twin. Forever. She refuses to even see me. I can’t blame her. I couldn’t really blame any of you if you gave up on me entirely.”

Sebastian’s tears mixed with the girl he loved, the weight hanging over him still even as she pulled him closer. He realized he was no longer the boy she fell in love with, the boy anyone loved. He was no longer that golden boy with a heart that shone brighter than the sun. Sebastian was now broken and darkened, full of regret and guilt. His soul was now a mixture of something still faintly, tragically beautiful that only she could see. The red mixed with the blue of his sorrow, indigo. A beautiful melancholy color of quiet aching for healing.

He however only saw destruction. Not a single good thing left in him. There was no trace of the light from before. No sense of beauty.

He saw his hands stained with his own blood, the boy he had been. The boy who lived with hope and light. All that was left was a cold, broken reflection of someone who tried to fix something, not his to fix. Something already fractured beyond repair. The golden boy was gone, he’d also murdered himself.

~~

In the cold silence of Azkaban's cell, he hoped she would forgive him for turning himself in. That she would understand the one thing that he did, that everyone else did. His heart would never be gold again. He had shattered that part of himself forever. He’d completely lost himself.

Impure gold loses its value, its purity. And its color dims.

No one wants something that is less.

No one would want him.

Sebastian closed his eyes as they came for him. Knowing they would drain away every happy moment of his existence.

But it was okay.

He was dead anyway.

~~

“And I used to shine bright like gold,

Now I’m all indigo.

My colors are darker and cold.

I think it’s time that I went home.

And I don’t understand why I always feel

Dead and alone….”

[tulipe-rose]

okay I might actually cry TYY. Also it's a solid hc for me that Kōyō was full on supportive when she saw signs that Chūya was trying to pick up new interests and explore himself a little, the first hint being when he asked her to help him get a haircut. She tried to get him into all sorts of stuff like the art of swordfighting, or calligraphy–since he had outstanding and stylistically messy handwriting in that one official art–and maybe fungshui after he invited her over to help him. She was utterly scandalized at the sight of the room lol. When Chūya realized he had nothing to wear other than his suits he went blank and facepalmed, a little exasperated with himself; he sighs a little with some indescribable emotion stirring inside at how empty and bland everything about his stuff is. He had his clothes from the sheep folded neatly at the back of his closet, but they still had a hole in them despite fitting perfectly; he really doesn't want to think about it too much, and decides he'll just wear it until he had literally anything else to wear; it doesn't sit right with him to wear them again anyways, they feel very restricting for some reason. He calls up Kōyō and they go shopping cause he ain't going to spend his days off looking like a scruffy delinquent; he's become more sophisticated than that under her care, thank you very much. (They went to a winery after that to pick out some vintage wines as a gift from Kōyō to start up his collection.) She was super touched at the fact that he turned to her for help on stuff like this; it really got them closer and more comfortable around each other. Also² i firmly believe Hirotsu knows how to drive a motorcycle (cool grandpa truther here) and gave Chūya tips some things he noticed him doing wrong–adjusting his grip and correcting his posture. Alby (I love that nickname it's so silly) taught him some tricks, but left out some basics assuming it was a given (Chūya def picked up on some stuff without much verbal explanation, but it's just different when someone explains it the how and why) so Hirotsu just did what he had to do. Hirotsu just got that sagely ambience and experience you can't help but listen and nod attentively no matter what he's saying. Also³ Chūya just looking through haircare tuts because he wants to try something new and do something for himself for once only for Dazai to waltz in and just invite himself over. They both come out of that looking like babybabybaby era Justin Bieber, and when I tell you they get into a fit of hysterical laughing for over ten minutes before Dazai turns on the radio and the song in all its glory comes on and Dazai, being the more cultured of the two, just bursts into a fit of snickers. He realizes Chūya doesn't get it and gives him a full on verbal presentation of Justin Bieber and other western artists with some visuals from Chūya's laptop because this is Very Important, and they just stay up until two am debating whether or not Marina is as cool as Michael Jackson. It was Chūya's work laptop though so when he turns up for his next meeting he forgets to close all the tabs and primadonna girl just starts playing on full volume in the conference room.

Okay sorry it's actually 3 am here and I just spiralled into a ramble fest I am so Sorry.

Now that the first chapter of the Stormbringer manga has released, I'd like to take a moment to analyze a previous headcanon with the new context the new manga has given us and perhaps put it into a different perspective than just Dazai being a stinky bastard man.

So, you all know about the headcanon of Dazai sneaking into Chuuya's apartment and using/wasting all of his fancy hair products. You know it, you love it. But let's take a closer look at it, specifically regarding the context this page gives us:

In this panel alone, it becomes very clear to us that Chuuya truly has no sense of self. If you thought Dazai's shipping container was bad, this ain't exactly any better. This isn't a home. It's barely a living space. It's a place of residence at best. It has a bed, a small desk, and a vault with a shower and rows and rows of pristine black suits. There's absolutely nothing in this place that would tell you that a 16 year-old boy lives here.

Because Chuuya has no idea what a 16 year-old boy does. He doesn't know who he's supposed to be or what he's supposed to like or how to decorate his space with his own personality. Because he doesn't know what that personality is.

This is the overarching theme of Stormbringer in which Chuuya is trying to figure out who he exactly is, whether that's a human or a clone or whatever. If you haven't read it already, I highly recommend it if you like Chuuya even a little bit, especially now that the manga is releasing.

Now, back to the headcanon. Say Chuuya does have some fancy hair products in that little vault shower of his. I mean, it is perfectly reasonable to assume he would be expected to look presentable while he manages the jewel trading business, the part of the Port Mafia he had been put in charge of. He wouldn't want to embarrass the Port Mafia, after all. I wouldn't put it past him to have such products in his possession because he feels he's expected to look good for the sake of the mafia's reputation.

But that's the thing. It's all about expectations. Chuuya, as a person, doesn't really care about his appearance because he hasn't had a chance to be himself yet. He was found by the Sheep at around 8 years old when he didn't even know what bread was. Ever since then, he was expected to be their leader and guard dog. But when he joined the Port Mafia, he had a new set of expectations, ones he's still adjusting to.

Chuuya, up to this point, hasn't a chance to be himself. He doesn't know what kind of fashion he likes or how he likes to style his hair. People keep pushing their expectations onto him, and he feels like the only option he has is to try his best to comply with them in order to not be alone. Check out his character song, "Darkness My Sorrow," for this reason.

So, Chuuya may have some fancy hair products that he keeps not because he personally enjoys hair care, but in an attempt to try to meet the expectations set up for him by being in the Port Mafia.

And then Dazai sneaks into this sad excuse of a living situation (not that he can talk) and wastes them. And Chuuya is pissed. He assumes that it's just Dazai trying to set him up for failure or trying to get him to embarrass himself in some way.

But here's the thing. The hair products' existence in his space is solely because of the expectations put upon him. They're not a part of Chuuya as a person. But his anger towards Dazai is. The emotions Chuuya feels are something that is a part of him innately. Something he can look towards as evidence of his personhood, as silly as it is.

This infuriating little habit that Dazai has is a way to prove Chuuya's humanity. To show that he doesn't need to be so concerned with the expectations of others and that he can focus on himself, whoever that may be. He can focus on being the Chuuya that Dazai hates so much instead of yielding to the will of others.

This is similar to the way Dazai manipulates the situation to get the Sheep turn on Chuuya. It's his way of showing that these people never considered Chuuya their family, and they eventually would have turned on him if push came to shove. It's weird and manipulative and convoluted, but that's Dazai for you. He is incapable of showing care in a normal way, apparently.

So, I view this headcanon in a new light. Dazai is always certain of Chuuya's humanity and personhood, even when Chuuya himself is not. He shows that in incredibly frustrating and confusing ways, like stealing and wasting the soap that is a representation of the expectations that are crushing Chuuya and his sense of self under its weight. Chuuya's anger, his threats of violence against Dazai for his petty heist, those are all Chuuya. They are his own thoughts and feelings, and no one can take that from him.

In conclusion, Chuuya needs to learn that he can be who he wants and be given the time to figure out who he is, and Dazai needs to learn how to flirt like a normal person instead of doing... whatever he's attempting to do right now.

[morphean42]

And here it is! My personal timeline of the entirety of The Marvin Trilogy. I have more notes in my doc about particulars of Marvin’s life, but you’ll just have to read my fic to learn those… which… I will update soon. I swear. Don’t come at me.

@alebanana we were talking about timelines so I hope you don’t mind me tagging you, I’d love to see your ideas and compare!

If anyone has questions or comments please tell me I need to talk about this with people!!

Timeline below the cut

-June, 1941– Mother and Father graduate high school

-November, 1941– Mother and Father get married

-April, 1942– Father gets drafted and soon after sent away

-February 21st, 1943– Marvin is born

-December 8th, 1943– Trina is born

-July 1944– Father returns

-1945– Mendel is born

-1948– Charlotte is born

-October 27th, 1949– Whizzer is born

-1952– Cordelia is born

-Feburary 21st, 1957– Marvin turns 14 (How Marvin Eats His Breakfast, Marvin’s Giddy Seizures, The Rape of Miss Goldberg)

-November 4th, 1957– Marvin is cast as Columbus (My High School Sweetheart, Set Those Sails)

-March 17th, 1958– Marvin acts in the show (How America Got Its Name)

-May 20th, 1960– Sweetheart wants to have sex with Marvin (I Swear I Won’t Ever Again Pt. 2)

-June 14th, 1961– Marvin graduates high school (High School Ladies at Five O’Clock)

-February 3rd, 1965– Marvin and Trina meet (Love Me For What I Am)

-March 29th, 1965– Marvin and Trina begin to date

-June 14th, 1965– Marvin graduates college with a bachelors in history or some shit

-June 14th, 1966– Trina graduates college with bachelors in teaching

-February 14th, 1968– Jason is conceived (Nausea Before The Game)

-April 25th, 1968– Marvin and Trina learn she’s pregnant and Marvin proposes (My Chance To Survive The Night)

-July 8th, 1968– Marvin and Trina get married (I Am Wearing A Hat, Wedding Song, 3 Seconds, Wedding Song Pt. 2, How The Body Falls Apart)

-October 16th, 1968– Jason is born

-June 24th, 1970– Jason is a fitful sleeper like his father (I Can’t Sleep, Helluva Day)

-December 20th, 1974– Marvin thinks about his family while with Mendel (I Swear Won’t Ever Again Pt. One)

-November 3rd, 1976– Marvin sees Mendel and reveals the truth (I Have A Family)

-November 3rd, 1976– After therapy, Marvin walks in front of a gay bar and debates going inside. Whizzer sees him and brings him home (Marvin’s Giddy Seizure Pt. Two, I Swear I Won’t Ever Again Pt. Three, Marvin Takes A Victory Shower)

-August 7th, 1977– Marvin is off sleeping with some rando (Your Lips and Me)

-November 5th, 1978– Marvin and Whizzer sleep together again after accidentally getting family photos from him (I Feel Him Slipping Away)

-December 8th, 1978– Marvin and Whizzer ‘get together’. Marvin views their relationship from their first encounter, Whizzer from here, creating the nine/ten month thing (Whizzer Going Down, Another Sleepless Night)

-July 6-7th, 1979– Whizzer and Marvin have sex and Trina comes home, Marvin comes up with the excuse of Whizzer staying over for Shabbat. The whole gang goes to shul, then go back home for dinner sans Mendel (Four Jews In A Room Bitching)

-July 7th, 1979– Trina catches Marvin and Whizzer, (Goodnight No Hard Feelings, A Breakfast Over Sugar, Packin’ Up, Been A Helluva Day)

-????????— In Trousers The Dream

-August 26th, 1979– First dinner together after the separation (A Tight-Knit Family)

-August 31st, 1979– Trina starts seeing Mendel (Love is Blind)

-September 3rd, 1979– Marvin and Whizzer are living together in a new apartment, not the one Marvin stayed with Whizzer in when he first left Trina (Thrill of First Love)

-September 13th- 27th, 1979– Marvin sees Mendel (Marvin At The Psychiatrist)

-October 7th, 1979– Jason being Jason during family dinner, which Whizzer is supposed to be making at the Whizzvin apartment. Trina and Jason go over (Jason brings chess obviously) and Marvin meets them there after work. Whizzer hasn’t made dinner, Trina and Jason go home, Marvin yells at Whizzer for not being home (My Father’s a Homo, Everyone Tells Jason To See A Psychiatrist, This Had Better Come To A Stop)

-October 8th, 1979– Trina and Marvin both go in to Mendel early, Whizzer is in the waiting room (This Had Better Come To A Stop)

-October 9th 1979– Trina cooking dinner for Jason and herself (I’m Breaking Down, Please Come To My House)

-October 15th - November 19th, 1979– Jason’s therapy sessions with Mendel (Jason’s Therapy)

-November 25th, 1979– Mendel has joined family dinners before now, Marvin and Whizzer arrive to eat, they see Mendel propose to Trina (A Marriage Proposal)

-November 25th, 1979– After Mendel leaves that night, Trina ponders a lot on what saying yes would mean (Trina’s Song, March of the Falsettos, Trina’s Song Reprise)

-November 29th, 1979– Marvin goes to Mendel for the final therapy session (A Tight-Knit Family Reprise)

-Buy a dog in here somewhere

-December 14th, 1979– Marvin and Whizzer just had a nice anniversary, then they break up (The Chess Game)

-December 14th, 1979– Whizzer packs up his suitcase and gets a call from Jason– no one has picked him up from school. Whizzer gets him and brings him to Trina and Mendel’s new house which they are currently moving into (Making A Home (first night of Chanukah), The Games I Play)

-December 14th, 1979– Marvin comes home from wherever he went and finds the wedding invitation, he goes to Mendel’s house and blows a fuse (Marvin Hits Trina, I Never Wanted To Love You)

-December 14th, 1979– Father son bonding (Father to Son)

-May 27th (at eight), 1980– Mendel and Trina get married

-March 10th, 1981– Mendel and family yapping because he can (Falsettoland)

-March 19th, 1981– Sunday night, Trina coming to pick Jason up, then everyone starts arguing about the bar mitzvah… as always (Year of the Child)

-April 4th, 1981– Jason’s first baseball game (Miracle of Judaism, The Baseball Game)

-April 14th, 1981– Whole cast doing their things (A Day In Falsettoland)

-April 26th, 1981– Whizzer hasn’t moved in with Marvin yet, but they’re much happier this time around. Of course, everyone is still fighting about the bar mitzvah (Round Tables, Square Tables, Everyone Hates His Parents)

-June 11th, 1981– Whizzer has long since moved in with Marvin, and they are literally sleeping together (What More Can I Say)

-July 5th, 1981– Charlotte reads the CDC and New York Times articles published on July 3rd (Something Bad Is Happening)

-August 24th, 1981– Whizzer and Marvin play racquetball before going to pick up Jason. They never get to Trina’s to pick up Jason (More Racquetball)

-August 24th, 1981– Trina goes to the hospital (Holding To The Ground)

-September 28th, 1981– Everyone comes to visit Whizzer, who is getting worse. They lie to him (Days Like This)

-September 28th, 1981– Jason talks to his mom (Cancelling the Bar Mitzvah)

-September 29th, 1981– In the hospital (Unlikely Lovers)

-October 6th, 1981– In the hospital, Jason is visiting Whizzer while Marvin talks to Charlotte. Neither of them admit they heard the other (Another Miracle of Judaism, Something Bad is Happening Reprise)

-October 16th, 1981– Whizzer knows he can’t keep holding on (You Gotta Die Sometime)

-October 16-17th, 1981– Jason turns 13 and Whizzer dies (Jason’s bar mitzvah, What Would I Do)

-October 18-25th, 1981– Shiva (Falsettoland reprise)

-ALTERNATIVELY October 20th, 1982– Grave unveiling, Marvin is noticeably sicker (Falsettoland reprise)

-December 28th 1983– Marvin dies at 3:09 in the afternoon

[mythals-whore]

ASSIGNING THE MEMBERS OF THE VEILGUARD A TAYLOR SWIFT ALBUM BECAUSE I CAN!!!

Harding - Debut

Obviously she’s our Ferelden farm girl so this just makes sense, but let me elaborate anyway. Harding is VERY Tied Together with a Smile/ The Outside to me?? Not to mention i feel like she would love the angrier songs Picture to Burn/ should’ve said no. We know how she gets when she’s angry. And you can’t convince me she wouldn’t LOVE Our Song.

Neve - Midnights

Do i even need to explain this one?? Neve gives such Midnights vibes, vigilante shit/mastermind/midnight rain???? Also SO yoyok coded. i feel like her romance is very Labyrinth/Snow on the Beach. And the woman who pets all of docktown’s stray cats is very “karma is a cat” of her idc.

Bellara - Red (TV)

This one was hard! It was between Red and 1989 to me. I just think Bellara would love the high energy pop beats (22, WANEGBT, Starlight). But i think she would LOVE Treacherous/State of Grace as well. Will help with the fanfic writing 100%. I put TV here specifically bc Better Man & Forever Winter could very much remind her of Cyrian??? And you can’t convince me Bellara wouldn’t be obsessed with ATWTMVTV.

Lucanis - Speak Now

Purple vibes, obvious. But he’s like, very Enchanted to me. AKA loves reading romance novels and the concept of romance but doesn’t know much about it/has never experienced it but wants it badly. Which is also why Electric Touch/Sparks Fly apply here. Don’t think about Lucanis listening to Castles Crumbling when he gets back from the Ossuary to find that Caterina is gone (+ later if you don’t save Treviso). Also Innocent was written about him, Taylor told me.

Shout to passenger princess Spite which i feel Taylor embodied when she wrote Dear John (iykyk)

Davrin - Lover

First of all, he is SO The Archer. “Ive been the Archer, Ive been the prey” “i jump from the train and ride off alone i never grew up its getting so old” “i cut off my nose just to spite my face and hate my reflection for years and years” its so Davrin (also one of my favorite songs maybe ever so this is big news). Also as @pinayelf pointed out, Assan as the Arrow?? Dying. But also Davrin’s romance is so Its Nice to Have a Friend. I saw someone talk about this not that long ago, but he’s very much a friend first?? Like he gives the vibe that as your LI you just hang out and rib on each other. I just i feel like they laugh a lot. + Lover as an album is soft but very anxiously attached?? Which i feel is the whole inner life of “i am a Grey Warden and im not supposed to get to attached bc it can’t last.” Honorable mentions go to Daylight/I Think He Knows/Cruel Summer/ Cornelia Street

Could also be convinced he is Reputation bc Reputation seems hardcore but is secretly very soft.

Emmrich - Tortured Poets (The Anthology)

Emmrich would LOVE the flowery language in this. Would love analyzing the lyrics with his besties. He’d love The Albatross (which, coincidentally is one of my favs, guess he just has good taste) and The Manuscript. Also tbh i don’t know much about his romance but “you know how to ball, i know Aristotle” feels like Emmrich with a much younger Rook (shout out to But Daddy I Love Him as well). Idk i think he’d secretly love it. Also relating Robin to Manfred bc that is his son??? On the sad side i feel like Emmrich is very the Prophecy/Peter because he has that dialogue about how he ‘once thought he’d get married’ like he always wanted love but never found it.

Taash - evermore

This was very difficult but i think the general witchy vibes are very “I’m Rivaini, we’re cool with spirits”. Also Tolerate It feels like when their mom comes to visit and no matter what Taash does it’s not good enough. Laash specifically is Dorothea/Ivy to me. And then of course (endgame spoilers) Marjorie after their mom dies and RWYLM if Harding is also gone. As a fan of the ‘pots and pans’ of Closure, they also get this one assigned to them. Just feels right.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Want to be super clear here folks. This is a queer slut blog. I have been what I am for as long as I have known how to be at all, and while that presents itself to the world in all kinds of ways, it will never go away.

Yall really want the secret to healthy, happy slutting about? Know thyself.

I am flesh, soul, mind, and more, and I must know each and every piece of myself as I give them to others as gifts of my time, my love, my pleasure, and my trust. I do not call myself a slut because I sleep around (and in fact often I do not!) But because I relish every experience of my sexuality, regardless of the context, and I refuse to allow anyone to denigrate that joy by deciding that the word they use to describe it should insult me. The word will never matter because they simply reject the idea that I am allowed that joy in the first place.

But folks, when I fuck, it is holy. When I allow a partner to lose their pains in my body for a while, we are divine, human, and present in ourselves in a way that matters to me. This is what it means to make sacred the mundane, to pray to the vulgar flesh as communion with whatever higher power you do or don't feel in your life. Sex is fun and silly and lighthearted, and it is also the act of worship through pleasure. I am not the first to believe this and I will not be the last.

I fuck as a form of worship. Within my faith, it is divine to love what our deity has facilitated the creation of, divine to see it as perfection in its uniqueness and flawed survival. Within my marriage, it is worship of a woman I loved on sight who has been to me more than I could ever imagine. It is an act that mimics the emotional commitment we made to each other, and it is a declaration of my faith in her every time I allow myself to come undone in her arms. Within my relationships of play it is, above all, an aria to myself. When I play, it is because I feel desire and joy to do so and love myself enough to choose that desire and joy over other, more responsible things in my life. Every time I choose to spend a night on pleasure, I name my own delightful vulgar divinity. If I were catholic I'd be committing SOME kind of heresy but thank fuck I come from a spiritual tradition that wrote Song of Songs into their religious canon and MEANT it, so when I worship my deity by loving myself and my pleasure and my joy as divine, I am right to do so. When I worship my deity through the pleasure and joy and divinity of my partners, I am right to do so.

And so until the day I fucking die, I will love the varied, incredible bodies I have been lucky enough to fuck with, I will worship the divinity of the people who inhabit them with prayers of pleasure, both theirs and my own. I will ensure that the self my deity inspired me to be is made real by my own machinations and my faith and love for my world, and I don't give a flying fuck who thinks I shouldn't be allowed the gender affirming tools to do so. I will worship by whatever means I desire with whoever desires to worship with me, and there is no world in the before or after that could stop me just because they decided my gender shouldn't fuck my partner's gender. I will pray at my pace with whoever delights to pray with me, and my physical limitations will never be anything less than enjoyed as they per.it me to be enjoyed, tolerance of the divine creation that is me, you, my wife, my partners, my loved ones, my enemies, ANY OF US, is no one's to judge but our own.

And if you can't handle that, you aren't my comrade, but I will still be yours.