#this song has been stuck in my head ALL weekend
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deadthehype · 10 months ago
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Cash Cobain - Dunk Contest
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angstandhappiness · 1 year ago
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LMAO YES
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Damn, there he goes!
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taxreturnslut · 4 months ago
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lands-of-fantasy · 5 months ago
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Pride and Prejudice: A New Musical
Based on the classic novel by Jane Austen, the musical was presented by TheatreWorks Silicon Valley December 4, 2019 – January 4, 2020 at the Lucie Stern Theatre in Palo Alto, California, USA. Also available online!
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snake-eggs · 10 months ago
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vampire weekend will ask “anybody else wanna get out of cape cod out of cape cod tonight?” and then not wait for an answer
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boobearymuch · 26 days ago
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Their Habits —♡ LADS Scenarios
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—♡Summary: Everyone has habits, but not everyone enjoys having you point them out... —♡Tags: gender-neutral, pure fluff —♡A/N: Silly thing I whipped up after being told I bounce my leg too much lolll —♡ masterlist
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—♡ Zayne
Zayne squints so much without his glasses. He insists he only needs them when his eyes get tired—but clearly—that wasn’t the case. “Zayne, look!” You eagerly pointed out a flyer posted on the door of his favorite boba spot. They were hosting an event next weekend, it read, and encouraged customers not to miss out on the opportunity. You watched his hazel eyes sharpen into a squint.
“Event…?” He still had trouble reading it, though, and absently tugged your clasped hands forward as he leaned in for a better look. After a few seconds, his eyebrows relaxed, and he hummed appreciatively, “They’re introducing new flavors. Perhaps we should…what?” 
You failed to conceal an amused smile. “You need your glasses, old man.” The nickname was not received well, by any means.
“The text is small.” He answered coolly, “The average person would also have difficulty reading it.” Then he slipped his hand around your waist, eyes narrowing, “And I’m not old.”
You couldn’t help yourself, you laughed, “Have you considered contacts?” The look he gave you was deeply unamused, “No, no, you’re right. You look cuter in glasses, anyway.” Zayne's ears tinted pink under your playful stare. 
“...Let’s go inside before they close.” You pinched his flustered cheeks.
“Are you sure? The menu is so tiny. What if you can’t read it and order the wrong thing?” Your mouth promptly shut after his grip on you tightened in a warning. Zayne remembered to bring his glasses on your next outing (and the one after that).
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—♡ Sylus
Sylus hums nonsense when it’s too quiet. It’s like he constantly needs to fill silences with some kind of noise. Even his humming is off-key…
“What song is that?” 
Sylus barely spared you a glance, “What song?” His fingers worked a microfiber cloth into the metal of his pistol. 
“The one you were just humming.”
He huffed, “Didn’t realize I was humming, sweetie.” Then he removed the cloth to admire his handiwork, “Don’t you recognize it?”
You almost felt bad for saying this but, “...No?” Sylus finally glanced up from his work to shoot you a look. A concerning one.
“Really? You had it on repeat all day, yesterday.” Horror dawned on you at the realization, “The chorus has been stuck in my head since morning…” And then a laugh sputtered from your lips. 
“Oh my god, that sounded nothing like it.” Sylus glared and returned his focus to his pistol with what you could only describe as a pout. 
“What a picky kitten.” You bit your lip to stop the smile threatening to break loose. He was a god awful singer, but the room felt emptier without his noise. Gently, you padded over to where he sat, and invited yourself onto his lap. Despite his mood, a hand wrapped around your waist without hesitation.
“Sing it again.” Sylus’ hold on you tightened, “I think I like your version better.” A soft chuckle left him, and quietly, he hummed once more.
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—♡ Rafayel
Rafayel taps. All. The. Time. Taps his legs, hands, pens, pencils, anything and everything within reach. And he’ll deny the hell out of it when you ask him to stop. “I wasn’t doing anything,” The candies on his phone screen lit up and exploded with color as he scored another combo. Too engrossed in his phone to realize the arm slung around your shoulders was still tapping you. You leaned into him with a huff.
“You’re doing it now.”
Rafayel gave you a sidelong glance, frowning, “I dunno what you’re talking about, cutie.” You suddenly captured his hand to still it, and Rafayel gave you the most scandalized look, “If you wanna hold it that badly, I’m not stopping you.”
“You’re not even aware you’re doing it,” You blinked incredulously, “Are you?”
Rafayel threw his head back and groaned dramatically, “Doing whaaat?” Then he lifted his head to press his forehead against yours and huffed, “Is this your way of telling me to get off my phone?”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “You look like a fish up close like this.” Rafayel pulled away to roll his eyes and clicked his phone off.
“Alright, fine, you have my attention.” Then he began tapping his foot, “You know, that’s a little offensive to say to a Lemurian. You could get cancelled for that.”
Your hand drifted to his bouncing knee, and you watched as both your hand and his leg now jumped up and down. “You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what?!”
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—♡ Xavier
Xavier is always chewing on something, and it is almost always never gum. It’ll be something random, like a straw from a drink he’d long since finished. The strings of his hoodie, a toothpick. Once, it was a plastic tie. He reminded you of a teething puppy; he’d probably chew on wires if you left him alone long enough. Today, though, his chew toy of choice looked a lot like…
“Xavier, is that my pen?” 
He blinked, eyes floating from his comic book to your frown, “Yours…?” His jaw froze mid-chew. 
“Yeah,” You scooted closer on the couch, “the one from my desk at work.” 
A blush crept along his cheekbones, but he didn’t drop the pen like you expected him to, “...Are you sure?”
Your eyes fell to the pen trapped in the corner of his mouth, “The one with little stars on it? Yeah, that’s mine. I thought I lost it at work, why do you have it?”
The comic book shifted in his hands, “I found it, that’s why.” This explanation would be more convincing if he hadn’t shifted his gaze sideways. His blunt fingernails picked nervously at the corner of his book, curling the edges.
“Xavier,”
“Okay, I borrowed it.” You bit back a chuckle, and he guiltily removed the pen from his mouth. It shined with his spit, and the cap bore teeth marks, “You can have it back.”
You couldn’t hide your grimace fast enough, “...Actually, you can keep it.” Xavier merely blinked before bringing the tip back to his mouth. Then a smile curved the corner of his lips.
“My pen now, hm?”
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agustdiv1ne · 1 year ago
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💨‧₊˚.° 11:58 p.m. (m) — choi yeonjun & kang taehyun
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genre: smսt, threesome, doms!fratboys!taejun, sub!fem!reader, friends to ???, high sex + car sex = 😵‍💫
wc: 4.9k (someone sedate me pls)
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becoming friends with frat boys was never part of your plan for college. 
alas, here you are, two of them basically surgically attached to your hip. your first semester of junior year has been full of surprises thus far, your blooming friendship with yeonjun and taehyun being the most significant one; what started out as partners for a project has transformed into a close friendship with the two guys, and your new norm now consists of grabbing starbucks together before heading to class, hitting the gym with either one or both of them in tow, and — for better or for worse — attending their frat’s infamous parties every weekend.
and lucky you: you’ve just arrived at one.
as you climb the steps of tau chi tau’s gigantic house, you spot the bright blond hair of one of the pledges on door duty — your favorite pledge, actually. 
“sunoo!” you greet, tackling him into a hug as soon as you reach him. he reciprocates easily, his lips curling into a small smile before he’s pulling away.
“you’re late,” he teases. “your boyfriends are already high off their asses.”
you scoff, nudging his shoulder with a closed fist. “first of all, they’re not my boyfriends. second of all, they knew i wasn’t gonna be here for a while, and i promised i’d be their d.d. tonight, so,” you shrug. he rolls his eyes playfully, but opens the door for you anyway.
“yeah, yeah, whatever. they should be in the basement,” he says, gesturing for you to go inside. “just be careful, it reeks down there.”
you laugh. “thanks, dude.”
as the front door shuts behind you, you take in the state of the house. the air is hot and humid against your skin, your shoes getting stuck on the floor that is covered with liquids you’d rather not identify. some rap song pounds in your ears, and you nod your head along to the beat as you slip between a small space between two groups, finally reaching the door that leads down to the basement. the moment you swing it open, the potent stench of weed bombards your senses. your nose scrunches up — sunoo wasn’t wrong.
in vain, you wave your hand in front of your face as you make your descent. the haze floating in the air grows a bit thicker the further that you go, your only goal now being to get them out of here before you start feeling the effects as well. you eventually have to drive, for christ’s sake, and you’re not looking to get a dui anytime soon. with one last step, you make it to the bottom of the staircase. the music is quieter down here, but the smell is far worse than upstairs. a familiar laugh pulls your attention to the couch facing away from you, two very familiar heads of hair catching your attention. as you sneak up behind them, you press your index finger against your lips, silently telling beomgyu — who sits on the couch opposite to them — to keep quiet. he simply smirks at you.
“y/n’s here,” he calls. annoyed, you flip him the bird and send him a scalding glare before leaning over the back of the couch, your scowl quickly being replaced by a grin. two pairs of red-rimmed eyes find yours, widening in tandem when they register that you are, in fact, there. 
“my baby!” yeonjun cries, his hands reaching up to pull you down towards him. his lips meet your forehead, pressing an aggressive kiss there, palms squishing your cheeks to hold you in place. you struggle to pull away from his grip, ignoring his pout and insistent grabby hands once you do. you sate him by linking your fingers with his. 
“you’re later than usual,” taehyun comments from next to him, a smile permanently etched on his lips, the sight a testament to his inebriated state. unlike yeonjun, he doesn’t move to touch you, perfectly content with watching. 
“i literally told you earlier that i had a paper due at twelve,” you remind him, removing your hands from yeonjun’s as you round the side of the couch, aiming to sit on the arm of it. that is, until yeonjun pulls you between them so that you rest on his left thigh and taehyun’s right. yeonjun wraps an arm around your waist, while taehyun rests a hand on your upper thigh. you try your best not to squirm. they’re your friends, but you’re not fucking blind. 
“you could’ve asked me for help,” taehyun murmurs close to your ear, squeezing the meat of your thigh. his warm breath tickles the side of your neck, and you gulp. directly across from you, beomgyu meets your flustered gaze, an amused eyebrow raised as he sinks further into the couch. you tear your eyes away from him to focus on your fingers twiddling in your lap. 
“i-i didn’t wanna bother you,” you admit, and he emits a giggle. the hand not sitting on your thigh reaches over to pinch your cheek.
“you’re so cute,” he coos, and for some reason, the praise goes straight to your center. “i wouldn’t’ve minded.”
okay, time to go. you don’t think you can handle any more of their pda, and you’re starting to feel a bit weird after inhaling all of that smoke. if you want to get to their apartment, you need to leave right now. standing, you stretch your limbs in a poor attempt to rid them of their shakiness. 
“time to go,” you voice, turning to face them. their eyes are dark and hooded as they look up at you. you falter a bit, stumbling when yeonjun rapidly leans forward and gathers you in his arms again. 
“but i don’t wannaaaa!” yeonjun whines, pulling you back onto the couch and straight onto his lap, his grip around your waist tightening enough that you’re pulled against his chest. “ten more minutes!”
sighing, you wiggle in his grasp, to no avail. you look over at taehyun for help, only to find him laughing at the sight. then, an idea pops into your mind, something that you know will appeal to both of them.
you turn your head towards yeonjun. “what if i take you to mcdonald’s?”
that gets them going. after one last odd look and crude gesture from beomgyu, you guide them out of the house and into yeonjun’s car. taehyun rides shotgun, while yeonjun mumbles in the back about how that’s unfair treatment — it’s his car, after all. despite yeonjun’s initial complaints, the drive over to the closest mcdonald’s is filled with loud, off-key singing from yeonjun and hysterical giggles from taehyun. it makes your eyes roll, but a tiny grin pulls at your lips all the while. 
“you’re lucky i love you guys,” you mumble, pulling into a spot in the parking lot after giving the drive-through worker the largest order that they have probably ever received, digging into your mcflurry as they silently inhale their burgers, fries, and their own mcflurrys. the pace at which they eat both impresses and terrifies you.
as soon as all three of you have finished, you begin the drive over to their place. you assume that they will let you stay over given how late it is, and it’s not as if they’ve ever minded before. after a few minutes, you realize how oddly quiet they’re being, and you look over to find taehyun staring at you, eyes unblinking and full of an emotion you can’t quite place. you whip your head back to the road — until you hear a sharp shink from the back. looking through the rearview mirror, you find yeonjun’s lighter poised to a brand new joint that rests between his plush lips, the flame bright and inching closer and closer to the paper.
“dude, you are not about to hotbox this car,” you groan. “put the fucking lighter down.”
“it’s my car. i can do whatever i want,” he mumbles in defiance, the lighter moving precariously closer again and illuminating his face in the dark backseat. you swing an arm between the two front seats in a poor attempt to grab the lighter. a hand moving to your thigh — taehyun’s hand — and squeezing nearly causes you to swerve the car before you gain control again. 
you glance over at the boy next to you as his fingers trail up and down your inner thigh, panic lacing your pupils, but you are distracted once again when the flame in your peripherals returns. “yeonjun, i swear to god—”
“don’t you want some?” taehyun interrupts, his hand stilling on a patch of skin high on your thigh, dangerously close to your center. “you worked hard today, you should let loose.”
you do. you really, really do. the stress built up in your muscles has become almost overbearing, and you’d think that it would be gone after your paper was out of the way, but no. honestly, all you want to do right now is relax, and taehyun’s offer is more than tempting — but you also don’t want to crash yeonjun’s car. at the same time, you are within walking distance to their apartment, so maybe…
“fine. just— just let me park first,” you concede, pulling into the nearest empty parking lot, parking in the dark back corner and subsequently cutting the headlights. twisting in your seat, you find yeonjun already prepared with an old pill bottle full of pre-rolled joints. an insane amount of them, actually. you snatch one and place it between your lips, reaching for the lighter in yeonjun’s other hand, only for him to pull it away. 
“nuh-uh,” he drawls with a lazy smirk. “c’mere.”
in curiosity, you lean forward, wondering what, exactly, his game is. he sets the bottle down, and his fingers reach up to grip your chin, fingertips lightly digging into the skin as he brings the lighter up and lights the joint for you. your stomach flips, your thighs automatically closing around taehyun’s hand. wrenching your face away, you turn towards the front again, heart racing in your chest as you take your first hit. then another. you block out the other two as you allow your high to take over. you don’t notice taehyun’s grip on you slip away.
over the course of what you think is a few minutes, your body begins to relax into the seat, head thrown back against the headrest as your brain fogs up. blurry eyes stare up at the gray ceiling. you eventually register just how hot it is, then notice the sheer amount of smoke that’s floating past your vision. a finger pokes your cheek, and you follow the hand back to taehyun. you smile subconsciously.
“such a lightweight, so cute,” he says, tapping his finger against your cheek again. you notice that he doesn’t have a joint of his own. “gimme a hit.”
“get your own,” you reply with a defiant hum, cheeks warming as you jokingly shield your joint with your body. he sighs. 
“c’mon, i just wanna try something. you trust me, right?” he murmurs. blinking hard, it takes you a moment to send him a lethargic nod. he peels the joint from your fingers with ease. “come closer.”
you obey, leaning over until mere inches separate your faces. he grabs you by the collar of your t-shirt, urging you to come closer. his eyes flit to your lips before they meet your gaze again — as if the weed wasn’t enough, this whole situation is rendering you even dizzier. 
silently, he pushes a thumb against your lips, pressing forward to part them. your mouth immediately accommodates the digit, and it presses against your tongue for a moment before dragging down to your bottom lip, your saliva mixing with your lipgloss. something quiet and pathetic sounds from your throat, your breath stuttering in your chest when he bites down on his own lip, his big, wide eyes far from innocent as he stares at you.
“keep it open,” he quietly orders, voice low and demanding, before he removes his thumb completely. you sit there, mouth agape like a fish out of water while he places your joint to his lips and inhales deeply. the seam of his lips closes immediately. then, he leans in, his lips mere millimeters away from yours. he holds your gaze as he opens his mouth and blows the smoke into your mouth, and you inhale it with a shaky breath. it travels down your throat and deep into your lungs, but the heat that spreads through your body isn’t from the smoke — no, it’s something overwhelmingly feverish. needy, wanton. 
the moment your eyes flutter close, taehyun’s lips are on yours, the taste of him sweet from the ice cream he ate earlier. the smoke you exhale passes between your parted mouths, drifting out into the cabin of the car. he feels around for the cupholder, then for his soda, using a single hand to pop open the lid before he’s dunking the lit blunt into the liquid, the movement of his lips unwavering all the while. he wastes no time in curling his palm around the nape of your neck, pulling you closer as he devours you whole. 
“holy fuck,” you vaguely hear yeonjun gasp, too far gone in the sensation of the languid, saliva-slicked kiss. it feels as if you are floating on top of a cloud, and you move to grab at his bicep to ground yourself. taehyun slips his tongue past your lips, curling the muscle around your own and immediately establishing his power over you. whining into his mouth, you attempt to pull away, only for yeonjun to cup your face and take over the kiss. taehyun’s hand slides down your neck and to one of your covered breasts, groping the soft mound of flesh over the fabric of your t-shirt. you moan into yeonjun’s mouth.
gentle hands pull you over the center console and into the back, yet yeonjun doesn’t break the kiss as he gathers you in his lap, your trembling thighs straddling his hips. you feel his cock press directly into your center when presses you down by your hips. your arms throw themselves around his neck, your lips slotting against his like a matching puzzle piece. the car rocks when taehyun slinks to the back as well, but yeonjun refuses to share you, hips angling upwards to grind his boner harder against your panty-clad core. 
“quit hogging her, you asshole,” taehyun growls from next to you, flipping your skirt up in the process to reveal your lacy panties to their eyes. the man next to you caresses the swell of your ass before landing a light smack. you jolt on top of yeonjun with a pathetic squeak, and his hand comes down again. in stark contrast to his actions, his tone is kind, perhaps a bit condescending, as he addresses you, “ooh, that feels good, doesn’t it? our baby likes to be spanked?”
their baby? something warm fills your veins at that, a quiet whimper muffled by yeonjun’s mouth. with the thin fabric of your panties embarrassingly sticking to your folds, you tear your lips away from yeonjun’s to hide your face in his chest, unable to face either of them. however, the rhythm of your hips does not falter. yeonjun forces you to look at taehyun with a firm grip that squishes your cheeks together, your lip puckering involuntarily. 
“answer him.” his warm breath fans over your ear as he speaks. a shiver racks your body despite the feverish heat surging through your body. knowing your voice will betray you, you opt for a shaky nod. 
taehyun’s gaze burns into your own, the blunt, rounded edges sharpened by lust. his dark pupils are the only thing that you can see in full clarity, the rest a foggy blur. “use your words.”
“yes,” you mumble, eyes screwed shut and your cheeks hotter than they’ve ever felt before. the feeling has spread down to your neck, your chest, the epicenter settling in your lower stomach. it festers there and tears at your insides like a feral beast and all you can think about is them — them using you, them fucking you. your breathing grows heavier before you feel a tap to your cheek, the skin stinging at the contact. 
“open your eyes, baby.”
you’re not sure who says it, but either way, you submit. eyelids fluttering open, you find both of them peering at you like two wolves stalking a soft, wide-eyed little lamb. your tongue feels like sandpaper in your mouth when they exchange scheming looks, their hands all over you as they maneuver your body as if you’re a doll. when did they plan this? how did you not notice their soft murmurs? 
you end up sitting between them, legs spread wide with one leg thrown over each of their laps. taehyun aims his focus towards your breasts, shoving your t-shirt up and yanking your bra down with little care, a hand tweaking one of your tits as the other curls itself in your hair and yanking your head back against the headrest. you cry at the sensation of his lips mouthing at your neck and his fingers pulling and groping your sensitive flesh. on the other side of you, yeonjun wastes no time in attempting to divert your attention back to him. shifting your panties to the side, he caresses your folds before dipping down to your entrance and groaning. 
“oh my god, you’re fucking soaked,” he groans as he gathers your wetness on his fingertips. “tae, you gotta feel her.”
said man’s hand leaves your breast, reaching down to join yeonjun’s at your center. a light brush over your clit causes your hips to twitch before he’s reaching down to swipe your entrance and—
“shit, you’re right,” taehyun breathes against your neck. “that’s so hot.”
without speaking, they begin to work in tandem as they pick you apart. a quiet, barely there voice in the back of your mind wonders if they’ve done this before, but that thought is quickly shooed away once two of yeonjun’s long fingers slide into your needy hole to the knuckle, the delicious stretch of your walls causing you to keen. your spine arches off of the seat when he begins to slide them in and out, curling up and grinding into that sensitive little spot inside you that you can never quite hit. meanwhile, taehyun ghosts a finger over your clit that aches for stimulation, his free hand digging into your thigh to keep you spread wide for them, your leg twitching in his grasp. he circles the sensitive bud as yeonjun adds a third finger to the mix, his movements growing faster as he feels your walls relax around his digits. taehyun ducks his head down to your breast, wrapping his lips around your nipple, his teeth scraping lightly against it. crying out, you plead for them to keep going. 
“such a tight little pussy,” yeonjun rambles directly into your ear, and you clench around his fingers. he nibbles at your earlobe before he continues, voice deep and growly and too much. fuck, it’s too much. “you look s’sexy right now, y’know that? so fuckin’ pretty. gonna make sure you can’t think about anything but us— gonna fuck you so dumb, baby. haven't even had our cocks ‘n you’re already losing it. s’cute.” 
with how wound up you are already, it doesn’t take long for the heat building in your stomach to bubble over, the overwhelming sensations all over your body coaxing you through your intense orgasm, waves a pleasure wracking your trembling body, your release coating yeonjun’s fingers while taehyun leans up to capture your lips. your whimpers are muffled by his mouth. the pleasure seems to have no beginning nor end, dizzying and causing your mind to drift somewhere far away, barely able to reciprocate the kiss. neither of them stop their ministrations until you’re pawing at their hands with a pitiful whine, your words staccato and incoherent.
you sit there, chest heaving and your clothes disheveled, barely able to comprehend the way the two boys argue over who should have you first. hands fly in front of your vision, a closed fist versus a flat hand, and though you can barely see through the smoke floating through the air and your terribly cloudy vision, you recognize that they’re playing a petty game of rock-paper-scissors. a dopey giggle shakes your body as you throw your head back against the back seat. they share a concerned glance. 
“y/n? can you look at me?” taehyun carefully asks. your empty-headed grin remains on your face while you turn to face him, humming in half-baked acknowledgment. he frowns, a hand coming up to cup your face as he takes in your red-rimmed, glazed over eyes. he peers around you towards yeonjun. “i don’t know if she can take more, jun.”
the words sober you up slightly, your grin dropping. “n-no! wan’ more, wan’ your cocks,” you ramble. “need them, please.”
“you heard her. she needs us,” yeonjun muses, already reaching for your loose limbs. “‘n i won, so c’mere, baby.”
yeonjun gathers you into his lap like earlier. this time, however, you feel his tip pressing at your fluttering entrance, an arm around your waist to hold you up. he looks up at you with a smirk. “ready, baby?”
you nod, and he wastes no time to begin slowly pushing your hips down. the flared, leaky head of his cock breaches your entrance. you whine, walls fluttering around him already as he moans. the rest of him presses into you inch by inch. it seems as if you can feel him everywhere — in your stomach, in your throat, the length of his cock almost too much for you to handle. the tip curves perfectly against your, his shaft grinding against your g-spot as he gently rocks his hips, allowing you to adjust to the overwhelming stretch. your whines grow pitchier as he finds his rhythm, hands on your waist as he bounces you up and down on his cock. he curses under his breath, fingers digging into your skin hard enough to bruise. he watches you with his tongue between his teeth, lips curled into something cruel and patronizing.
“feelin’ good, pretty?” he breathes, eyes rolling back into his skull as he begins to snap his hips to meet your own. the slap of skin grows louder, echoing throughout the car along with each of your moans and whines. your eyelids flutter, speechless, a cry tearing from your throat when he swipes a thumb over your slick clit, your walls tightening further around him. he doesn’t seem to mind your lack of response, and with a string of curses, he slams you down harder, lips clashing with yours as both of you chase your highs. desperation coats your tongues as he bites down on your bottom lip, pulling it back as you whine, clinging to him desperately, nails biting his skin and leaving deep half-moons in their wake. the slight sting of pain spurs him on, pulling away to spew filthy words into your ear.
“gonna fuckin’ cum deep inside you— ohh fuck, you seem to want that, hm? t-tightened so much around me. you need my cum, don’t you? say you need it,” he demands, holding your face close to his, dark pupils searing into your skin. a light slap to your cheek wakes you up a little. “c’mon— shit. say it or i won’t give it to you.”
“n-need it!” you unabashedly sob, feeling your high hit you. “please, jjunie, cum in me. pleasepleasepleaseplease—”
a deep groan cuts your pleas off, a warmth that floods your walls following close behind. he paints your insides white as he whimpers against your neck, hips twitching as he fucks it further into your hole. you quiver on top of him, holding him close with your arms slung around his neck, nearly in tears at how amazing it feels, sweat clinging to your skin and sticking to your shirt. it takes you much longer to come down this time, your body twitching erratically as the aftershocks continue to roll through your body. 
“jesus christ,” taehyun mutters next to you, and you remove your face from yeonjun’s violet hair to look over at him. his cock lays heavy in his hand, veins bulging as he strokes up and down, pausing at the top to swipe the bead of precum at the tip and smear it over the angry head. the sight causes your mouth to water. the urge to feel him against your tongue is almost too much for you to bear. sliding off of yeonjun with a whine and sore legs, you go to lean down for a taste — before taehyun stops you with a firm hand.
“what do you think you’re doing?” he asks, jaw set as he leers over you. 
“i-i just wanted to—”
“nuh-uh, baby. you don’t just get to do what you want. jun and i are in charge here,” he says, squeezing your jaw roughly. “now, get on your back. head on jun’s lap.”
silently, you do just that, finding yeonjun’s dick already rock hard again right near your face. your juices mixed with his cum gives his lengthy cock a light sheen in the low light, but your attention is soon pulled back to taehyun when he wraps his legs around his waist. towering above you, he guides his head along your slick folds, smearing the remnants of your and yeonjun’s last orgasm along himself. he taps it against your clit, chuckling when your hips jump.
“such a sensitive little thing,” he coos. taehyun doesn’t warn you as he guides his cock to your entrance and pushes his hips forward in one fluid motion, burying himself to the hilt in seconds. the feeling of his cock inside you is far different than yeonjun’s; taehyun’s is a little shorter, but much thicker, the stretch of your hole borderline painful. 
“h-holy fuck, you’re tight,” he gasps, voice sharp as he tries to hold himself together, resting there for a moment as he allows you to adjust to the sudden intrusion. the moment your hips start to grind against him, his jaw ticks, rolling his hips into you as he watches your brows furrow and mouth fall open into an ‘o.’ hands grip your waist as his thrusts quickly sharpen, harder and deeper and cruel. you blink up at him, whining. smoke hangs around his head like a halo, but the cruel snap of his hips is far from holy. 
diverting your gaze away, yeonjun poises his tip at your lips for you to suckle, breathing shaky as your soft tongue delivers kitten licks to the head. just as he curls a hand in your hair, you slip your tongue into the small slit at the very top as your moans vibrate against him, reveling in how he hisses at the feeling, his thighs flexing beneath your head. your dopey smile returns, eyes rolling back as taehyun continues his hard thrusts, quiet grunts falling from his lips as angles his hips upward in an attempt to get your gaze back on him. it works, your eyes widening adorably as he presses his cock right against your g-spot. his teeth graze his bottom lip, biting down hard when he feels you clench around him, a direct result of yeonjun tweaking one of your puffy nipples. 
taehyun is quiet as he fucks you, only quiet curses coming from him as he uses your body to chase his orgasm. a hand slides up your stomach to wrap loosely around your throat. he barely puts any pressure, but it’s enough to send you reeling, a third high, weaker in magnitude washing over you. after the amount of teasing he put himself through earlier, taehyun isn’t far behind, fingers slightly tightening against your neck as he thrusts into you quicker, coaxing you through your orgasm as his own finally hits him. his moans are high-pitched and whiny as he spills inside you, his cum mixing with yours and yeonjun’s, sticky and hot and satisfying. yeonjun cums against your lips immediately after, forcing you to take his tip into your mouth to taste him. you greedily swallow his release, allowing him to gather the escaped liquid with his fingers and shove it against your tongue. 
pulling out, taehyun watches as the thick, white liquid spills from your hole and onto yeonjun’s leather seats. he gulps, pushing it back into you with thin, lithe fingers as you barely react, brain practically rendered mush. 
“that was…wow,” yeonjun mumbles, caressing your cheek as your eyelids flicker closed. taehyun hums in agreement as he fixes your clothes back into their proper place. lethargic and dumb and feeling so, so warm and full, you drift off into quiet, bleary dreams. their voices seem far away now, their tones faintly worried at your state. a cool feeling washes over your body, causing you to shiver, eyes blinking open for a moment to find the windows now rolled down, airing out the smoke. the cool air feels fresh in your lungs; you’re grateful for it. you close your eyes again, finally passing out for good. 
none of you are sure where this situation will lead when you wake…but you suppose you’ll just have to cross that bridge when you get to it.
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masterlist
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© to agustdiv1ne. do not copy, repost, steal, and/or translate.
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sunlitide · 2 years ago
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good morning <3
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themotherofblood · 4 months ago
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put it on me | d.t x reader x r.t | vampire au | bloody baby au
an: heyyy ya’ll missed me? had a tove lo song stuck in my head it’s talking body.
synopsis: baby knows she has been made to forget, she knows they are pretending to, everything is alright but is it?
warning: overconsumption of alcohol, compelling, argument.
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You were dead sure something was off, like visually not a hair out of place but you just knew, like a nagging intuition burning holes into your stomach. Though it could have been the last shot oqf tequila you took.
They let you off the fucking island, it made no sense. What four months of playing a captured princess and out of nowhere “Go birdie go fly and be free.” something was off it was sour milk in your mouth. One could even say it was because you were touch deprived, but the more shocking detail to take note of was the lack of puncture marks in your body. This wasn’t some insecurity bullshit again, this was them hovering over you from the balconies watching you dance with you friends and not lifting a finger to feel you up.
Absurd isn't it?
Something happened, you can only feel it in your dreams, something deeply wrong— something that you were not supposed to see but you hadn't been compelled, at least you think you weren’t. You simply woke up in their bed three weeks and they’ve pretended like you would break from a single touch, and they watch you—constantly. When you eat, when you read on the lawn and sometimes you could swear they watch you sleep.
This uneasiness was tearing at you, were they done with you? Their own martial relations seemed to be a little too close, they always were but you never felt left out but now you did, you felt nervous even to walk up to Rhaenyra for a hug in the morning. And now this.
A taste of caged freedom. Freedom.
Who knew you'd grow so fond of the cage that housed you, a golden stone castle far from any life you’ve ever seen? Yet here you were now, at a cheap club your friends and you had graced every weekend after working on your thesis to chug fireballs and vodka.
Freedom? That's what the wanted you to feel, to help you transition back to your mortal life. Well then, a taste of it should have been fair for all. So you didn't hesitate after pulling another bill from your bra and ordering another round for your girlfriends. You loved them, you missed them, but right now your sense of celebration wasn't for them. As the bitter liquid burned at your throat, you shot daggers at the balconies again and disappeared into the crowd.
Deep in the sea of sweaty bodies jumping with no care in the world, thick into where the intentions of every one were similar, “We’re free game” You didn't care who touched you, just as way before when you didn't. You never know the person, hell you couldn't even make out their face from the lights but you felt the hands, the grinding.
It did feel freeing, compelled or not, you could do it— slip further into the crowd and just slip out of this dingy club. Disappear with the money and ID tucked into the lining of your bra, they won't find you. Strom City was far too vast to find a little scorned soul nearing the bottom of the bottle. You closed your eyes and just felt the music and the alcohol making you feel weightless, you lifted your hands into your hair to cook the back of your neck as you continued to sway, a stranger’s beer can pressed to the back of it. You smiled at your friends dancing, reaching for the coolers in one of their hands and took a big swig. You could feel the bile at the back of your throat, but you knew you'd been fine if you just kept dancing.
You could still feel hands on you and yet no faces, it wasn't until you turned that you could finally register faces— or well a face.
Daemon stood still amongst the dancing crowd, arms crossed and neck just slightly titled. Silently questioning as to the fuck were you up to.
You didn't stop, looking right at him you kept dancing when the beat dropped stealing the last of your friend’s drink. Hips swaying and still holding your wild hair so you don't overheat, you knew you were playing with fire. What's the worst that could happen? They’d drain you of all blood until there was no life left in you? You’d come to terms with that possibility months ago.
You could feel him nearing, shrugging off the mortal bodies coming in contact with him. You could hear your friends giggling as she reached for your hand and yanked you through the crowd.
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“What the fuck were you thinking,” Daemon said, looking very visually irked as he sat comfortably on the hotel couch.
Rhaenyra had barely anything to say but she was angry, you could see it. A conflicted hurt. The rules were clear, they were crystal and you'd broken them.
You scoffed sipping on the glass of water you were forced to drink as you leaned against the bathroom door, still heeled and dizzy. You couldn't digest their discontent when they were ones playing games with you.
“We have very simple rule-”
“Oh fuck your rules!” you cut him off
“It's just bodies isn't it,” you said holding in a hiccup “We are just bodies.”
Rhaenyra opened her mouth but you raised your finger to stop her, stumbling of the bathroom door and walking to the middle of the room.
“How many? How many girls? How many men? I mean fuck!” you shook your head stumbling a bit.
They entertained your outburst, usually you were so placated that this was beyond the unusual.
“Don't you see, you've lived the two of you have each other, have been married for like a forever long time, and me. I'm twenty— human years mortal, simple-bodied.” you tap your head to see if they saw your point.
“I have barely loved, and now that I do—” you hiccup blinking your drunk tears away “its with two blood-sucking—” you stopped yourself laughing.
“I’m just a body to you that you use for fun.” you laugh, mascara tears coating your face.
Rhaenyra finally speaks “that is not true.”
You scoff once more, this time breaking the glass of water you'd been drinking against the bedstand “Turn me then.”
Daemon turned his face, looking out the window and Rhaenyra now stood shaking her head at you.
You could feel the glass imbedded into your palm, you raised the broken shard at her— lil quivering. “Turn me.”
“Turn me.” it sounds like a pathetic prayer.
This time Daemon turned to you, eyes narrowed staring at your bleeding palm, he looked at his wife. He knew this would have come to this conclusion, it always does.
You knew you’d die soon, whether it was to come back as one of them or dead for good. You’d made your peace with it a week before, pouring your heart out in the pages of your journal. Though what were you expecting, that the sex with you was that good that they’d have you around for a life time.
You served one purpose for them, to be their walking blood bag, a toy for them to use and dress as they pleased.
“Turn me.” you said once more.
This time Daemon pushed off the couch, he was in front of you within a blink of an eye, nostrils flared as he grabbed the back of your hair and yanked it back.
“You want to sell your soul that bad? You’d break even before it began sweet girl. The pain of the turn, but sure since you want it that bad.” he bit into the back of his hand and pressed it to your mouth.
The taste of bitter copper filled your mouth, it was true human blood tasted far sweeter, and you’d tasted it on their lips countless times. Your own blood.
“Daemon stop.” Rhaenyra said this time, approaching her husband.
He did not budge, still staring your soul down as he pulled the glass shard from your hand. He didn't hesitate to press it against your carotid artery, the faintest if pressure and he’d dig in. You bleed out and either come out as one of them or a feral— a demon of sorts. They wouldn't take that risk but Daemon was so done for it.
He knew the truth of what he’d compelled away from you, the attack, the threat that somebody was after them— he feared not for him or Rhaenyra but if they found you. He had thought of turning you a thousand times over, and so had Rhaenyra, though the possibility that you may not make the other side. Not many survive the pain, not many come out looking like their mortal bodies but mangled creatures from hell.
However Daemon had snapped, he grew irked from having to hide the truth, from having to pull away. True he had Rhaenyra to come to with his ails but she would sway him otherwise. Rhaenyra battled the guilt of nearly killing you for days, she still does and cannot touch you without remembering her teeth digging into your flesh. You may not remember it, but she had torn you within an inch of your life.
“Daemon we have to let her go.” Rhaenyra urged.
This time your eyes snapped to her and then back to Daemon.
“No turn me.” you urged, this time pushing yourself against the shard of glass “turn me.”
Daemon threw the shard away, shaking his head as he held your shoulders.
“No no, you're not leaving me.” the panic set into your body, death would have been easier. “Just turn me, I can do it.” you hiccuped.
Rhaenyra this time finally touched you, pulling you closer and embracing you, your senses were completely engulfed by her. The way she smelled, her touch, her hair.
You kept mumbling “no” incoherently as she sat you down on the bed.
Her eyes dilated as she shushed you, you looked at Daemon, his stern expression held pain to it if you looked close enough. He leaned against a wall. He knew Rhaenyra had to be the one to do this.
You felt no pain as Rhaenyra pulled the small pieces of glass from your hand, they were already healing because of Daemon’s blood.
“I’m so sorry my love,” she kissed your palms as she sat them back down onto your lap. “It isn't safe anymore.”
“Please don't,” you pouted, more tears flowing down your cheeks. “Don’t leave.”
“You were away on a vacation in the Summer. Isles, you needed a break. You won't remember us, anything about the past six months, it will be as though time stopped and brought you back to reality.” Rhaenyra whispered, kissing your forehead.
“Please.” you cried.
“The pain you feel now will be gone, we will be gone.” her eyes dilated one more as she shuffled your body back into the bed. “Go to sleep.”
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Okie and that's a wrap!! I had so much fun writing this chapter, kinda poured my own breakup pain into it. Either way, I can't wait to start writing more!!
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simjaexy · 4 months ago
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𝙏𝙤𝙙𝙤 𝘿𝙚 𝙏𝙞 | 𝙎.𝙅.
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Pairing ⇀ Loser! Sim Jaeyun x Fem! Reader
Synopsis ⇀ Wanting to get out of the house you decided to go with your friend to a roller skating rink that opened. Upon going there you meet someone that took a liking to you and doesn’t plan on leaving you alone.
Genre ⇀ Fluff
Warning ⇀ Cursing, One minor incident
A/n ⇀ Not proofread. This song has been stuck in my head so why not make a one shot out of it! Jake is somewhat of a loser on here. Btw this is set in english cause I’m obsessed with Jake’s Australian accent.
Masterlist here
“Y/n did you do the dishes?” You mom yelled. You groaned and rolled around.
“Yes!” You yelled back. You took your phone out and looked through your social media. Today was the weekend which meant for people to go out and have fun.
You on the other hand, aren’t doing anything. You were bored and had nothing to do which sucked. You cleaned all day with no text messages from your friends.
You breathed through your nose and put your phone down. You stretched your limbs and got out of bed to get a snack from the kitchen.
Upon going down there you saw your mom watching her TV drama. She smiled at you.
“Aren’t you gonna hang out with friends today?” She asked. You shrugged your shoulders and grabbed Cheez-Itz from your cabinet.
“I guess I’m just gonna stay home. Seems like everybody busy.” You replied. She hummed and looked back at the TV
You went back upstairs and heard a buzz from your phone. You picked it up and looked at the contact. It was your friend Shunua.
“Hello?”
“Y/n! What are you doing today?”
“Nothing why?”
“The new roller skating rink opened. We should go together with the other girls!”
You thought about it for a moment. You remembered how much you loved to skate when you were little with your parents. You smiled thinking about the memory.
“Sure. What time?”
“How about at seven?”
You looked over at your clock. six thirty.
“That’s fine.”
“Perfect! I’ll pick you up! Bye!”
You chuckled and said bye back. You shake your head while smiling. Shuhua was always excited to do new things.
You went over to your closet and scanned your clothes. Since you’ll be inside you decided to wear a sweatshirt and shorts.
You brushed your hair and put on some light make up. You finished dabbing your blush and put on your shoes before going downstairs.
You saw your mom staring at you, “I’m going with Shuhua to the roller skating rink.” You said.
She furrowed her eyebrows, “The one that just opened?” She questioned. You nodded.
Your took your phone out of your back pocket when you heard a buzz to see that Shuhua’s here. You put your phone back.
“I gotta go. I’ll be back before midnight!” You said. She bid you goodbye as you shut the door and headed to Shuhua car.
“Ready to go?” Shuhua asked. She put her phone down and started the car.
“Yup.” You chimed. She drove out your driveway and started heading towards the roller rink while blasting pop music making you shout out the lyrics.
Once you made it there you noticed how there was multiple people here. Families, couples, teens. You and Shuhua made your way inside, pushing people around to get to the desk.
Shuhua did all the talking while you looked around. The lights were different colors like a disco party, a dj playing music and switching it up.
There was even a dance floor that people were dancing on. You smiled seeing them sing the songs out loud.
You and Shuhua got your shoes and headed to a table you reserved. You both took your shoes off and put on the roller skates.
“To be honest I forgot what it’s like to roller skate.” Shuhua admitted. You giggled.
“Me too.” You replied. You both slowly got up and went towards the rink. You went out first, holding on to the railing. Shuhua came out second while trying to grab you.
You reached out for her and lead her near the railing, “Is it okay if I take a lap real quick?” You asked. She nodded.
You smiled and let her go. You started to skate around people. You forgot how much you loved to skate. You felt a rush of adrenaline through your body feeling your hair come off your shoulders on how fast your going.
You were going so fast to the point you didn’t notice another person coming the wrong way towards you.
Slam!
You felt your eyes close on the hard impact on your body and fell to the ground. You groaned in pain while the other person made a noise.
You looked up and made eye contact with him and your heart stopped. He was definitely not ugly, but that doesn’t changed the fact that he bumped into you.
“What the hell man? Don’t you know you were going the wrong way?” You snapped. The boy rubbed his head.
“Well why were you going so fast?” He asked. He had an Australian accent. You felt yourself blush at his voice.
“B-Because you can! It doesn’t say you can’t. Besides, you’re in the wrong either way!” You bellowed. He rolled his eyes and got up.
He took his hand out, “Well I apologize. I didn’t know I was going the wrong way. It’s my first time skating.” He admitted.
You grabbed his hand making him lift you up. You fixed your clothes and stared at him.
“Well I accept your apology, uh,”
“Jake. Sim Jake.” He replied. You nodded your head.
“I accept your apology, Jake.” You said. He smiled.
“Can I know your name?” He questioned.
“Y/n.” You spoke. You gave him a smile before skating to Shuhua.
“Girl where were you? A bunch of kids were making fun of me for holding this railing for dear life.” She whined. You laughed and held onto her.
“Kinda had an accident with someone.” You said. She wiggled her eyebrows.
“Were they cute?” She teased. You shrugged.
“He wasn’t so bad looking.” You admitted. She gasped and playfully slapped your arm.
“He? And you didn’t ask for his number?” She asked.
“Well what he did wasn’t a really ‘Can I have your number’ type incident. It was more like a ‘I’d punch you in the face if you weren’t so cute’.” You replied.
“Oh did he bump into you or something?” She said. You nodded. She laughed.
“That’s funny! I should’ve seen that, but you disappeared in a flash.” She joked. You giggled.
You both made it on the carpet and rested on the railing part, viewing the people. You were both joking around until Shuhua elbowed you.
“Is it just me or is that guy staring at you weird.” She said. You looked over and noticed it was the guy, Jake.
They were talking while staring at you before laughing and patting Jake’s shoulder. You saw a pout on his lips, one of his friends pointing it out before laughing again.
You cleared your throat and looked at Shuhua.
“Yeah well I don’t think he’s looking at me.” You muttered. She gave you a ‘really’ look before playfully pushing you.
“Wait, was that the guy your bumped into?” She interjected. You slowly nodded. She cackled.
“Girl now you gotta be confident in yourself, seriously. You gotta be ready and take that dick.” She said. You almost choked on your spit with the last sentence.
“I don’t wanna have sex with him yet!” You bellowed. She raised an eyebrow.
“Yet?” She smirked. Your eyes widened and glared at her.
“You know what I mean.” You interjected. She threw her head back laughing.
As you were about to say another thing you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around and almost fainted.
There stood the boy you definitely did not want to see. He had a smile that made your legs feel wobbly. You looked over at Shuhua, but she was no where in sight.
You cursed and looked back at the boy, “Uh, hi?” You said. He chuckled.
“Hey.” He replied. His voice with an Australian accent. Yeah he’s definitely gonna bag you tonight. You cleared your throat.
“Do you need something?” You asked, titling your head, judging.
“Yeah, your number.” He spoke. It was quiet for a second. The only sound was the music in the background playing.
All of a sudden you burst out laughing. You couldn’t help but find the pickup line terrible and cute.
Jake rubbed the back of his neck, “Was it really that bad? My friends told me to say that.” He mumbled. You heard him let out a curse about his friends and wiped away your tears.
“No no, it’s cute, actually.” You said. His face lights up like a puppy. Cute.
“Really?” He beamed. He tilts his head making you giggle.
“I mean, at least you tried you know?” You reasoned. He hummed. The chatter of people made you remember you were still in public.
You stared off into the view of people roller skating and suddenly had an idea. You looked over at Jake.
“Wanna skate? You know, after bumping into me you at least owe me a skate together.” You asked. He chuckled.
“I was gonna ask you the same thing.” He said. He took his hand out for you, you accepted it. You both walked towards the rink and stepped onto it.
Slowly, you both rolled along the smooth glossy floor. You laughed as Jake tried to show off, but failing miserably by almost slipping.
You started going a bit faster making Jake yelp, “Wait I don’t know how to skate!” He yelled. You laughed and slowed down, but not without teasing him once in a while.
He soon got the hang of it and before you know it, you both were skating together while holding hands. Your hands molding together perfectly.
You won’t lie and say it didn’t make your heart race a little when he sent a smile your way. The song changed into a slow one as the light turned a bright red and white.
It was a slow romantic song for couples. You and Jake looked at each other. He sent you a wink while you bashfully looked away, smiling with your cheeks pink, and it definitely wasn’t the blush.
“Is this my time to be honest with you?” He suddenly said. You looked at him confused.
“Did you lie about your name being Jake?” You questioned.
“What no- well kinda? Well my korean name is Jaeyun but here it’s Jake.” He said. You laughed.
“That’s cool.” You replied. He shyly smiled.
“But that’s not what I wanted to say. What I wanted to say was that I knew I was going the wrong way, I just didn’t know how else to talk to you.” He admitted. Your eyes widened.
“You wanted to talk to me, so you bumped into me making me almost get a concussion?” You joked. He shook his head.
“No! I didn’t wanted to do that- but are you seriously okay? I didn’t know you were going so fast and I-“
“I’m fine, Jake.” You smiled. He nodded and looked ahead.
It was silent while the music was playing before you looked at him, “If you actually went up to me, I would’ve gave you my number.” You said.
“So that means I can’t get it now cause I bumped into you?” He asked. You let out a hum.
“Well since you’re so cute, I guess I could let it slide and give you it.” You mumbled. He almost didn’t hear you.
He gave you a big smile and bumped his fist up in victory. You laughed at his action.
The song finally ended and went to a more upbeat one. More people started going in the rink once they heard the music.
“Wanna go sit?” Jake requested. You nodded your head as you both left the rink. You took off your skates and put on your shoes.
“Oh shoot, I left my shoes over there. I’ll go get them!” He said before leaving. You looked around and spotted Shuhua talking to a guy. She was practically all over him, but he didn’t seem to mind it.
You chuckled as Jake came back just as the song ended. The music changed to one you were familiar with making you gasp. It was your favorite song, Todo De Ti.
“I love this song!” You said. Jake looked at you confused.
“You know Spanish?” He questioned. You laughed.
“Only to this song. Come on let’s dance!” You rejoiced. You grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the dance floor you saw earlier.
The wind rubs your hair
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Those beautiful eyes kill me
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
I like your scent, of your skin the color
And how you make me feel
I like your mouth, that pink lipstick
And how you kiss me (Yeh)
There was already people there making you and Jake kinda mush together, but still enough space for you two to dance individually.
I want to wake up with you
Do it after smoking (Ayy)
I don't have anything to look for anymore
Something away from here
You combine with the sea
That bikini looks phenomenal
There’s no gravity that can lift me
You make me desperate (Yah!)
You swayed your hips to the beat while Jake dance with you. You were singing the lyrics like your life depended on it making Jake smile.
You accelerate my heartbeat
And like еverything about you
Of all your parts, which do I decide?
And likе everything about you
“Es que me gusta todo de ti!” You shouted. Jake furrowed his eyebrows.
“What does that mean?” He questioned.
“And like everything about you!” You replied. He let out a ‘oh’.
“What’s this song about anyways?”
“It’s about a guy that confesses he likes everything about this girl he spotted at a roller-skating rink!” You said. Jake stopped dancing and you did too.
You have a him a confused looked before realizing what you said.
“Well isn’t that a coincidence?” He teased. He pulled you closer by the waist making you gasp.
“Y-Yeah, it is.” You stuttered. He smirked. He cupped your face.
“Does he get the girl at the end?” He whispered. You felt a shiver down your spine.
“I-I don’t remember.” You whispered back. He brushed his lips against yours. His soft plush lips making you yearn for more.
“Well I know what my ending is.” He said before finally kissing you.
You wrapped your arms around his neck as he gripped your waist. The song slowly coming to an end as you and Jake broke the kiss, making you gasp for air.
“I like everything about you.” He said. You giggled and kissed his cheek.
“I like everything about you too.”
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justsomerandomfanfic · 8 months ago
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Whale Song - Orm Marius X Female Reader
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Title: Whale Song
Orm Marius X Female Reader
Additional Characters: Clark (Mentioned), Bruce (Mentioned), Arthur, Damian (Mentioned), Orm's father (Mentioned), and the Justice League (Mentioned)
Requested by: Anon!
WC: 5,189
Warnings: Somewhat enemies to lovers, mild cursing, movie canon violence briefly mentioned, post-Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, during post-credits, italics used, book reference, banter, flirting, teasing, mentioned prejudice, slight angst, and fluff
You were upset. No, more than upset, pissed off. Annoyed. Furious. Normally you would get calls from Clark or Bruce, but never Arthur Curry - Aquaman. As his hologram figure shot out of your watch, you immediately frowned. Only having recently joined the Justice League, Arthur was known for causing a bit of trouble. You were both very different from each other. You were one for talking to people, and he liked using his fists.
But when Arthur called you, it normally meant that he wanted something, needed you to do something for him while he was stuck down in the ocean doing his Kingly duties. All high and mighty. Well, you were fed up. The last time he asked you for something, you were pulled into a small battle, and you owed him twenty bucks - you weren't one to bet, but against Arthur, it was hard to not take part. You loved to see his face when he lost. And he lost most of the time.
But you knew that you were a pretty sensible person to go to when anyone needed anything. You were bright and always mindful. You were brilliant, having gone to Harvard before moving to the big city - Metropolis.
It wasn't long after you found yourself in the company of the world's strongest heroes. With your intellect and specific set of skills, both Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne thought you could be an invaluable member of the Justice League. Though, instead of fighting on the front lines, you would offer advice and wisdom when needed - along with helping the team with the tech that you created. 
So, it didn't come as a surprise when Arthur called you on your 'Super Watch' as you called it, when you made it for you and the team. He came to you when he needed advice, which was a lot. If it had been anyone else, you would've been more than willing to help. But it was Arthur. However, you were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
"I need to cash in that favor." He said. There was no greeting - no pleasantries. Just straight to business. Like he usually did when he needed something. 
You rolled your eyes. If only you hadn't asked him to take you to see a Humpback Whale - him with his Kingly Atlantis powers. It had always been a dream of yours, and why wouldn't you take a chance to experience something new and amazing like that? During the time, in awe of the giant Humpback before you, asking for that favor was totally worth it. 
However, at the moment, you didn't want to know what he wanted. There were so many things that he could possibly want. But, it was the weekend. Saturday. Not the day for you to play babysitter for some superpowered superhero. You already had to watch over Damian Wayne. You loved the kid, but you didn’t really think babysitting was your thing. "What do you want?" You asked, not bothering to mask the impatience in your voice. "I have a book I need to get to..."
"I need you to watch over somebody for me." He answered, seemingly aware of your impatience as he continued with a small grin on his face, "I believe that you heard that my brother has joined the surface world. He'll be needing some help adjusting and I think you-"
"Oh, no, no, no," You interrupted, shaking your head as you glared daggers at the hologram before you, "I am not babysitting your murderous brother." You ran a hand through your hair, "Do you know how much damage control I had to do when he tried to kill us surface-dwellers? It took me weeks to fix all that he did - with little help by the way!" You pointed an accusatory finger at him, "I already have a tough time babysitting the supers, I am not babysitting him too."
He sighed heavily. "Look, I know that this is a bit of a big favor-"
You scoffed, "A bit?"
"And I understand that being around new people is not exactly fun for you-"
You couldn't help but roll your eyes again, "Not just that, Art, I am not like you and the other supers. If your brother tries anything, I won't be able to stop him."
"He won't try anything," Arthur grinned, "He's changed, dude. He's not the same as he was over a year ago." 
You nodded, taking another glance at the sky outside your window. "That's good if what you say is true." You agreed hesitantly. "If I am going to do this, and if," You emphasized, letting out a deep breath, "How am I going to find him in the first place? I don't know what he looks like or even where he is. On top of that, I don't even know what his name is."
Arthur gave a small nod. "His name is Orm. I believe he is residing in Metropolis at the moment. For the past couple of weeks, he's been going from city to city, with what little Atlantean money he has left on him. I'll send you a description of his appearance. That'll help, but I think you'll know it's him when you see him."
"Really?" You asked, resting your hand on your hip, "I'll know?" But, Arthur said nothing, only giving you that 'know-it-all' look before hanging up the hologram call. 
Huffing, you dropped your hands, only to raise them to your face and rub your cheeks; overall pretty annoyed. Freezing, you cursed at yourself, forgetting to ask how long you'll be watching over this Orm. 
~~~
Sitting on a small bench, you adjusted your open book, glancing down at the pages. But, instead of reading about a boy and his little sister who fell down a laundry chute and into a strange underground world, you let your eyes wander across the sheet of printer paper that you placed in between the pages. Hiding the fact that you were looking for someone by pretending to read. Your eyes scanned around the page slowly, trying to memorize what Arthur gave you. How could you possibly find this man? Especially with what Arthur had given you to help you find him? Metropolis was huge!
Looking up, your eyes quickly settled on someone in front of you at an outside restaurant, there was a man; tall - seemingly - and blonde; eating a burger. Immediately as your eyes landed on him, you knew. Arthur was right. This was definitely him. 
You suddenly stood, shutting your hardcover book with a snap before walking across the street. Your eyes again locked onto his frame, watching as he continued to chow down on the large burger in his hands. It confused and unnerved you, but the closer you were getting to the man, the more your heart began to race. And it may or may not have been because you thought this Orm was rather attractive. Arthur's family had some good ass genes. 
Before you could even figure out what you were supposed to say, you took a seat across from him; the metal of the chair's legs scraping against the concrete ground sharply. The younger Atlantean prince paused his chewing, his crystal blue eyes staring at you with confusion and obvious caution. You understood that if anyone sat before you while you were trying to enjoy your lunch, you probably would've reacted the same way.
"Hello," You began, immediately inwardly cringing at how awkward your own voice sounded, "Um, I'm Y/N." You watched as he continued chewing, though slowly, his eyes continuing to look over you; still wary. "I'm friends with your brother. He asked me to help you, uh, get used to the surface."
At that, Orm huffed, setting down his burger; annoyed. "I do not need any help." He spoke, his voice firm, but smooth; a shiver ran down your spine. “How did you find me?” Without another word, you pulled the paper from Arthur out of the book, showing it to him. Orm’s eyes widened before narrowing, “Is that supposed to portray me?” He asked, gesturing to the crude drawing of himself - drawn by none other than Arthur himself - you could tell that Orm was not fond of the portrayal at all.
You gave him a deadpanned look, mentally finding this whole interaction very funny - funnily enough. But, you still had work to do. "Listen, I don't really want to do this either. I'd rather be at home reading. But, I owe him a favor and I'm a woman of my word. I understand that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, but you are technically a fish out of water in this situation. There are going to be things here on the surface that you won't be able to navigate." You let out a breath, rubbing your temple with two fingers, "So please, let me at least help you with a few things that are mandatory for those that live on land."
After a few moments of silence, Orm squared his jaw as he rubbed his hands clean of the burger's grease with a napkin. The silence between the both of you was unnerving and tense, but you fought through it, not wanting to back down. Even though you were rather annoyed by this whole fiasco, you were a good person, and you weren't about to let a guy with an attitude ruin things for himself just because of his pride or whatever.
"Fine." He grumbled finally, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. "What must I do then?
"Well," You began, gesturing to the side of his burger where you saw a pair of bug legs sticking out, "We have a lot to cover."
~~~
For the next couple of weeks, you began teaching Orm about the surface world, though he was rather hesitant to follow your instructions. In the beginning, he complained and made small comments here or there, but Orm seemed to have noticed your no-nonsense nature. He didn't complain anymore after another firm talking-to, and you found out afterwards that he was a rather fast learner. He had no consistent place to live, moving from hotel to hotel, you knew he could only do that for so long; plus you knew from experience that some hotels were less than ideal to stay in, especially ones that were located near the center of the city. 
Therefore, you decided that Orm staying in one of your homes, near the shore in California, was a more ideal option for him. And if you were being honest with yourself, you were beginning to enjoy the youngest Atlantean prince's company; far more than Arthur's, that was for sure.
During the time that Orm has been staying in your humble abode, you made sure to keep him up with the latest tech, which was far different than in Atlantis, you were sure. From the toaster, blender, microwave, and even computer, you made sure that Orm had at least some, if not all, basic knowledge on the appliances around the house. As said before, Orm was an incredibly quick learner, having mastered most of everything within a matter of days.
However, what you did not expect was for you to begin to like him.
~~~
It had been a long night. You were sending email after email to some of your closest contacts and employees, making sure that they were keeping your empire afloat all the while you were on your "vacation" away from Metropolis. Some of your employees tried to get you to enjoy your so-called vacation, but it was hard to just not check up on how things were doing. 
It was well past midnight, reading and re-reading past emails, and checking your phone every now and then, waiting for the familiar notification sound to go off signaling a new text message to come through. You frowned as you set your phone down on the desk beside your computer, letting out a sigh. You leaned your elbows on the table, rubbing your eyes with the palms of your hands, tired and absolutely exhausted. 
Standing up, you shut your laptop and headed to the kitchen, quickly making yourself a small cup of tea; praying that it would hopefully help you go to sleep. You silently wandered around your seaside home, faintly hearing the ocean waves crash upon the shore. Taking a small sip of your tea, you hummed as it warmed your throat before pushing the back door open and stepping outside. 
The warm breeze made you smile, as did the smell of the salty ocean a couple hundred feet away from you. It was hard to see it, but you could see the moon reflecting off the waves. Resting your forearms against the wooden railing of the porch, you occasionally sipped your tea while enjoying the quiet.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" The smooth, yet low voice asked, startling you slightly.
Raising a hand to your chest, you let out a deep breath as you swiftly turned to see Orm standing a foot or so behind you; arms clasped behind him. His eyes never met yours, the deep blues staring right back at the raging waves. 
"Of course." You replied softly, as he did, turning to look back at the ocean in question, "It always is."
Orm wandered over, taking the spot next to you before speaking, "Do you enjoy the ocean?" He asked, his question surprising you slightly, but you didn't hesitate to answer.
"Yes." You replied, "Ever since I was a kid." Taking a sip of your tea, you swallowed before continuing, "I always lived in the city. I hardly got to see the ocean, we- my family rarely went to the beach. But that never stopped me from loving it." You shuffled one of your feet, the soul of your slipper slipping against the white wood. Looking up, you finally made eye contact with him, "What about you? I mean, you lived in the ocean most of your life, what's it like?" You asked, your curiosity clear in your tone.
He looked at you, his sharp eyes almost glowing from the moon's rays in the darkness of the night. "It is wonderful." He replied simply, looking back out towards the sea once more. "But, I cannot really describe it; it is not something one can explain simply." You gave a nod, as he shifted uncomfortably in his stance. "You had spoken that helping me acclimate to the surface was a favor owed to Arthur, correct?"
You nodded once more, "Yes, it was," You began, glancing over at him only to see that Orm was already looking at you, "Though, to be perfectly honest, his favor was much bigger than mine was." You chuckled lightly, scratching the back of your neck as you stared into his blue eyes.
He tilted his head curiously, "Is that so?" He questioned, 
"Well, yes-" You bit your lip, shifting in your position as you glanced back at the horizon, "I just asked to see a whale." 
At that, Orm raised an eyebrow, "A whale?"
You hummed in confirmation, "Yep, I just wanted to see a whale. I really like whales. And sharks. But I like whales the most. They sleep upright which is super cool. They are just so fascinating." You gushed, a bright smile slowly spreading onto your face before you cleared your throat, "I mean, you must’ve noticed. I have like ten paintings of whales in there." You finished, gesturing back at the house with a nod of your head, feeling a bit embarrassed by your small rant. Meeting Orm’s gaze once again, you swore that you saw a small smile on his face, but before you could fully confirm it with yourself, he hummed before looking back at the ocean.
"Was it all that you hoped?" He then asked.
"Yeah, definitely. When I was available, he took me to Maine and used his ocean magic to summon a Humpback Whale." The memory of seeing that whale made your chest swell with pride. You smiled as you watched the waves ripple gently across the sand. "When it breached the water, I felt as if I took my first breath. It was the nicest thing Arthur has done for me."
Orm felt a pang in his chest, a wave of jealousy washing over him, making him shift in his stance, his grip on his hand behind his back tightening. For the past month or so, Orm had grown accustomed to being around you, and he had found himself liking you quite a bit despite how much he disliked humans. It wasn't something he'd admit to anyone else aside from himself, but you managed to make him feel a little better, more relaxed, even. And, he actually enjoyed spending time with you. "Does Arthur do nice things for you usually?" Orm inquired, attempting to push down his jealousy.
You shook your head, "Nope, never." You laughed lightly, before placing both hands on the railing, leaning forward slightly, "He usually likes to tease me, you know, joke around. I find him annoying most of the time." You admitted, "But, I should thank him next time I see him in person." You yawned, grabbing your empty cup from the wooden railing with one hand as Orm turned to look at you properly.
"Thank him?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing together ever so slightly as you paused at the back door, your back facing him.
"Yeah." You responded softly, shrugging one shoulder, "If he didn't ask me to help you, I never would've met you." There was silence between the two of you for a few moments until you turned your head to look back over at him, meeting those same deep blue eyes that seemed to stare right into your very soul. You took the moment to let your eyes travel over his handsome features: the light stubble along his jawline, his blonde hair combed perfectly, the softness of his skin, and his lips. You could have stayed longer looking at him, staring at the man who unknowingly caused so much pain in your heart, but you could not allow yourself to continue. Instead, you quickly averted your eyes, clearing your throat awkwardly, "I'm going to head to bed. Goodnight, Orm." You said before ducking back inside.
"Goodnight, Y/N." Orm muttered, his voice low as he stared at the back door, where your figure had disappeared into, his blue eyes lingering on the door for a moment before he sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. It wasn't long until he looked back at the crashing ocean, his eyebrows furrowed. 
When Orm found himself living with you at your beach house, he did his best to keep his distance, avoiding you as much as he could when you weren't trying to teach him the ways of the surface-dwellers. His stubbornness was also partly due to the fact that he was brought up in such a way to hate surface-dwellers; to despise them as a whole, and everything they stood for. But, even still, he couldn't bring himself to truly dislike you. Despite the nagging of his father's words echoing in his mind whenever he was close to you. He felt... something towards you. Something different; something new.
~~~
The next morning, you were up bright and early, heading downstairs to grab yourself a cup of coffee. Humming a soft, upbeat tune, you shimmied around the kitchen as you poured yourself some coffee; adding cream and sugar.
Glancing around the kitchen, and tilting your body to the side to peer into the dining room, your humming came to a stop. Usually, at the time that you came down for coffee, Orm had already figured out how to make his breakfast. Which usually consisted of eggs, bacon, and tea. 
Frowning, you furrowed your eyebrows, glancing at the clock on the wall before finishing up stirring your tea. Grabbing the warm mug into your dominant hand, you pulled the edges of your cardigan closer around you; the mornings were always so chilly, being so close to the ocean and all. 
Stepping out onto the back porch, you paused. There was Orm, leaning against the wooden beam of your railing - just as he did the night before. He was dressed for the day, in the Surface-Dweller attire you helped him buy. Sometimes, it was hard to believe that he wasn't from the surface world, he fit in so perfectly. His forearms were resting against the railing, slightly bent at the hip, his stormy blue eyes staring off into the crashing waves of the ocean only a couple of mere hundred feet in front of him. You leaned against the doorframe, worrying on your bottom lip. He must have missed his home - Atlantis - you knew that he did. You couldn’t imagine leaving your home, being forced to never return, in fear of imprisonment or even death. Even though you and Orm had a pretty rough beginning, your heart broke for him. 
Your mind raced with possible ideas of how to try and cheer him up, your eyes flickering down at the wooden porch floorboard, spotting bits of sand sprinkled around here and there from your many adventures from the shore. You allowed your gaze to flicker back to the Atlantean man, studying the contours of the side of his face closely, taking in every detail. His brows furrowed tightly together, his lips slightly pursed in deep thought. He was so... Beautiful. Especially as the morning sun filtered into his hair, shining upon the blonde strands, causing them to appear almost white. 
You blinked for a moment, shaking your head slightly as you focused back on trying to come up with an idea to cheer the man up. And then, it hit you. A surge of excitement rushed through you, making your skin buzz slightly at just the idea. Making yourself known, you walked over, taking your place beside him as he had done last night for you. 
"Hey," You spoke up softly, setting your mug down on the railing, your fingers curling around the ceramic; warming them. "Good morning."
Orm turned his head, his gaze landing on yours before he returned his attention to the ocean, "Good morning."
You sighed, turning your gaze to stare at the ocean yourself, shuffling one of your socked feet against the wooden floorboards. "Have you eaten?" You breathed out, raising your cup to take a sip.
"Yes," Orm muttered, glancing at you briefly, "And you?"
You shook your head slightly, taking another sip, "No," You spoke against the rim of your mug, "I have not yet." You suddenly felt nervous, as the words that you had wished to say slithered on the tip of your tongue. "I was wondering if you'd like to go on an adventure with me?" You asked, turning your head to look back up at him, his eyes meeting yours. 
"An adventure?" He repeated, raising a single eyebrow.
You nodded, unable to stop a smile from spreading on your face, "Yeah, well, I was thinking, you've been cooped up in this house for far too long." You placed your mug aside, turning your body to face him, your eyes bright. "So..." You trailed off, tilting your head to the side a bit - trying to read him, he seemed curious. "What'd ya say?"
"Where is it that you would like to take me?" He asked then, sounding curious and yet, hesitant. 
"It's a surprise." You answered quickly - your excitement obvious - before grabbing your mug and speeding back inside. Pausing at the door, you braced your hand against the doorframe, looking back over at him. "You'll love it. I swear."
~~~
"May I open my eyes now?" Orm asked as you helped him out of your car, his hand covering his eyes, as you had asked him to do. From stepping out of the car, Orm could feel the difference in the air; it was warmer out, and he could still smell the salt of the ocean. And yet, he had no idea where you were taking him. 
"No yet," Orm felt you take his other unoccupied arm, your two hands intertwining as you led him away from your parked car towards what he assumed was the entrance of something.
Orm hummed, the hand over his eyes twitching slightly from the urge to just look, "You are not leading me to my death, are you?" He asked, his tone laced with amusement.
"Hmm, no." You played along as you pulled open one of the double doors, leading him inside, "I wouldn't have you stay with me, for almost four months, just to take you to some secondary location to kill you." Your words made Orm chuckle as you began to drag him further into whatever mysterious place you had taken him to.
As Orm followed blindly beside you, he tried to tighten his hearing, seeing if he could pick up anything around him. For the most part, he didn't hear any signs that anyone else might be around. As far as he could tell, it was only the two of you. He couldn't help but wonder, why the sudden trip? With a gentle tug, he felt you come to a stop, one of your hands dropping from his arm. 
"Okay," You breathed out, "You can look now." Dropping his hand, Orm blinked his eyes rapidly, before they widened. So... This was where you were taking him. An aquarium. The water from the aquarium tunnel reflected on the walls in a kaleidoscope effect, tinting in stunning blues and greens. Fish, some sharks, and even a few stingrays of all species swam about everywhere. The underwater tunnel gave off a soothing atmosphere, as if the water itself was saying; 'Welcome.' His eyes followed the graceful movements of the sea creatures above, his ocean-blue eyes flickering from fish to fish, his lips parted slightly. You broke your gaze from the tunnel, turning to look up at Orm, your smile slowly dropping as you took notice of the expression on his face. It was hard to decipher it, your mind beginning to overwhelm you with 'what ifs' and terrible doubts. "Do you not like it?" You asked softly, your voice filled with uncertainty. Orm swallowed hard, but you continued, "I mean, of course, you might hate it." You began to ramble, running a hand through your hair, looking anywhere else but at him, "I mean, this is technically like a prison for fish. But, I assure you, I practically built this aquarium - all the fish have all the food they could possibly want, all the space-" Orm looked down at you, watching as you continued to stumble over your words, “I know you must have been feeling homesick, and I know you can't really go into the ocean, so I thought that you might like it here-”
“Y/N.” He finally spoke, interrupting your rant, “Thank you.” The words seemed to have easily slid off his tongue, his eyes softening as you stared up at him with those eyes of yours. 
“So, I haven't upset you?” You asked, pulling your bottom lip under your teeth once more. 
Orm shook his head, reaching up with his hand, his thumb gently brushed against your bottom lip, pulling it from between your teeth, freeing it; you felt your cheeks heat at the touch, your eyes fluttering momentarily as the warmth of his finger pressed against your bottom lip. “You have not upset me.” Orm tried to reassure you, giving you that smile of his that made your heart flutter. “In fact, this must be the best surprise I have ever received.” 
“Really?” Your eyes lit up, your smile growing, and at Orm's nod, you sighed, “Wow…” Turning back to look at the fish swimming in the large aquarium glass around you, you spoke once more. “Beautiful, isn't it?” You mimicked his own words from two days prior.
"Yes," Orm muttered, "Very beautiful…” 
Looking up at him, you were surprised to find Orm already looking down at you. You felt your breath hitch, again, unable to look away as his eyes bore down into yours with such intensity. His eyebrows furrowed slightly, a faint crease appearing on his forehead. The air around you grew thick, and it wasn't until Orm reached out, cupping your cheek with one hand, that you finally realized just how much closer your faces were than usual. And yet, you did nothing to pull back. Instead, you simply held your breath, your gaze locked onto his, as his thumb ran along your cheek, his fingers tangling themselves in your hair slightly, drawing you closer to him.
His brows furrowed deeper, his eyes darkening slightly as he gazed down at you. His lips parted slightly, a breath leaving him, before he leaned forward; his lips barely brushing against yours. Slowly, hesitantly, he closed the distance between the two of you. Your eyes fluttered shut as his hand slid down from your cheek to cradle your neck, keeping you close. Your arms wrapped around his middle, your fingers gripping tightly at the fabric of his sweater - you never wanted this moment to end.
The kiss lasted mere moments before you both pulled apart, unable to stop yourselves from smiling at each other. Orm felt an immense sense of happiness overtake him as his blue eyes met yours, his cheeks tinted a soft pink. "Arthur was right," He said - mentally hating the words that seemed to slip so easily from his lips - his hand moved to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, his thumb grazing across the shell of your ear.
You couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, raising one hand to press his palm into your cheek, "Arthur was right about what?" You narrowed your eyes playfully, "He's hardly right about anything."
Orm let out a deep sigh, silently agreeing with you, "The surface world is not as terrible as I always believed and was told." He smiled down at you, his hand falling from your cheek to take your hand in his, "You have proven that. As well as Arthur.” You tilted your head to the side lightly, letting out another laugh before shaking your head; Orm's smile quickly turned into a small, anxious frown, "Don't tell Arthur I said that."
"I won't." You promised, your eyes crinkling as you laughed out your words, "He wouldn't shut up about it if I did." Orm chuckled as he nodded his head as you interlaced your fingers with his, "So..." You trailed off, "Do you want to see the rest of the aquarium? I rented it out for the next two hours. So, we got the whole place to ourselves." You waved your free hand in the air, gesturing to the long empty tunnel that led the way to the rest of the aquarium.
"Lead the way." Orm smiled, squeezing your hand in his own gently as he allowed himself to be guided by you; he would follow you wherever you went.
---
Main Masterlist | DC Masterlist
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crescent--crow · 6 months ago
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Finally drew OG Wally art
I eventually wanna draw him accurately but I still struggle unfortunately
Changed a few things last minute on the finished piece cuz it didn't sit right .
I've had Dr Sunshine is dead stuck in my head all day and I went you know that song hits just right for Wally lmao. At least to me it gives the equivalent of The Tornado by Owl City. Just me?
I'll never not be able to get this man out of my head it seems. After drawing him every month since last year I wanted to give myself a break. Why? Why ? Why? Tbh I'm not sure , I adore his design and I love all the efforts Clown puts into Welcome Home. Tis why I've supported as much as I could. (And still do)
I don't really follow everything that happens in the fandom cuz I don't have the time to dwell on dramas that happen in every place it seems. I'm too old for that stuff.
This is as close as I'll ever get to drawing Wally lmao. I don't think I'll ever stop. And funny enough I've never really been a fanart kinda artist. But with all the beautiful AU's and dedications everyone put forth on this lil dude.
I also want to thank this lil dude in particular because he's helped me develop my painting style since day one of drawing him. You can see my development and new experiment ideas that didn't always turn out good. But I'm so damn proud of myself which is hard to say even for me. Why? Self doubt bears my arms despite spending countless hours on pieces that I try to make better the more I settle on it. He wears his heart on his feet and is a silly lil dude. But we know the cool aspect of Welcome Home is the spooky factor. I wanted to give it a try. I'm not quite sure what kind of artist I am because I want to do everything. Horror has always been my one thing I wanted to give a try. But I'm always scared it might be portrayed the wrong way. So maybe surrealism is the way to go? I dunno I'm ramblin
Anyway 🐦‍⬛💕 have a great weekend I have a con to get ready for. I'm utterly tired 😭
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bangtaninborderland · 1 year ago
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JJK - SEVEN (JK POV)
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Summary: you know it isn't healthy, you know you should leave, but you can't and neither can he.
Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, kind of toxic relationship.
A/N: there was a slight demand to see jungkooks pov and I thought I’d indulge it! I will be updating all other stories in the next month please bare with me! Once again be kind, I tried to write this as best as I could I tried to think how my ex would be.
BTS MASTERLIST
READER POV
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He’d been stuck on this song for weeks, and what had started as a moment of inspiration to create fizzled out into nothing more than an unfinished track giving him a headache.
He felt his phone buzz and he knew even before checking that it was you,
Baby 🖤: I’m home, will you be here for dinner?
He sighs, leaning back in his chair. Realistically he could go home, relax and eat a home-cooked meal with you but then he would have to come back here tomorrow and he really didn’t want to do that. Of course, he felt like an asshole always being at work but that wasn’t something he could control and he knew that you knew that.
He shook his head as he typed his response.
Him: No. Working late, don’t wait up.
Baby🖤: Okay, Love You
Him: Lo- “Jungkook?”
Jungkook was startled at the sight of Yoongi leaning against the door, closing his phone before answering him. “What’s wrong Hyung?”
“Mingyu is here asking for you.”
Jungkook frowned, the other hadn’t called him to let him know he would be coming by. “Why?”
Yoongi shrugged holding the door open for him. “I don’t know, just said it was important.”
“Oh, thanks Hyung.” Jungkook smiled at him before they went their separate ways,
Yoongi turns off into his studio and Jungkook to the waiting area.
“Jungkookie” he was met with the sighs of a sniffling Mingyu, he had clearly been crying.
“What’s wrong?”
“Can we get a drink?”
Jungkook sat next to him, shaking his head. “I’m supposed to be working, I told YN I wouldn’t be home so I can finish the song today. You can talk to me if something is bothering you, I have a little time.”
“I don’t wanna talk about it right now I just don’t want to be alone.” He paused, eyeing Jungkook before continuing. “If you’re busy I understand.”
He should go back to the studio, he should tell Mingyu he has to work but he doesn’t. He doesn’t because he has to be a good friend, he can come back tomorrow and work because he has to be a good employee and then he can work late to complete his weekend work so he can take the weekend off so he could be a good boyfriend. Jungkook always had to just be good, he had to do everything perfectly.
“It’s okay we can, let me just get my jacket and shut everything off.” Jungkook smiled, patting Mingyus's leg before going to finish up.
It doesn’t take him long and soon enough he is in the passenger seat of Mingyus's car on the way to whatever restaurant the other had chosen.
“How are things between you and your girlfriend?” Mingyu questions.
“It’s good I guess.” Jungkook sighs, not really wanting to open that can of worms. “I’m not giving her enough.”
“What do you mean?” Mingyus eyes flicker to Jungkook before focusing back on the road.
Jungkook leans his head on the window, sighing. “She needs so much attention and reassurance. I know I’m supposed to be the one who gives that to her but I can’t, I don’t even have the time to reassure myself everything is going to be okay. I keep thinking about how easy it would be to break it off and just go back to focusing on work with no distractions.”
“You seem pretty set on that idea.” Mingyu responded. “Have you spoken to her about it?”
“No.” Jungkook huffed. “I can’t, if I do she will just shut down her own needs to try and support me. It makes me feel worse knowing she ignores the things she wants, needs and deserves just to keep me happy. I don’t fucking know what to do.”
“Why don’t you ask for a break?” Mingyu suggests, pulling into the carpark of their usual hangout. “I’m sure she would understand.”
“I can’t do that if I want to leave then I can’t keep her hanging on to hope that may never come. She deserves the world, I just can’t be the one to give it to her.”
The car turns off and it falls silent before Mingyu clears his throat, leaning a little closer to Jungkook. “If you know you can’t give her what she wants then let her go.”
Jungkook didn’t reply, he couldn't. Mingyu was fucking right and he hated it more than anything in the world because she deserved better, deserved the fucking noon and the stars but he couldn’t fulfil that but he also couldn’t leave because as much as he could talk shit about whatever issues they have he loved her to his core, depended on her in so many ways he didn’t know who he would be without her.
Even if he should let her go he won’t, because he can’t stomach the thought he of being alone without the love of his life. He can’t stand the idea of someone else loving her, touching her, being the reason for her smile.
The time flew once they were inside the restaurant come bar, drink going down with a burn enough to make him forget about his inner torment regarding his relationship. Mingyu dropped him home with the promise of seeing him again soon.
Jungkook fumbled with the keypad a few times before getting it right, he wasn’t drunk just a little buzzed.
He was taken aback by how dark everything was, usually, you’d still have at least the kitchen light on. He frowned slipping his shoes off and heading straight the the bedroom. Maybe she had gone to sleep? He frowned again seeing the sheets untouched.
“Marco?” He called out, knowing if you were in the apartment it would get your attention.
He couldn’t help but feel a warmth in his chest and the memory of teaching you the child’s game. “Polo” he heard you call back.
“I thought you were working late?” She frowned, holding out a hand to him.
Jungkook groaned, not ready for a scolding as he slouched against the couch. “Yeah, well we finished around 7 so Mingyu asked if I wanted to get drinks.” He shrugged. “Don’t get all mad.”
“I’m not mad kook.” She was quick to reassure but Jungkook knew her better than that, she wasn’t mad she was upset and that was far worse. “I just missed you.”
And just like that he was sober, the fuzziness shrouding his brain courtesy of the alcohol he had ingested cleared up instantly. “Fuck I know okay, I know but I don’t need you putting pressure on me too I’m already working hard twenty-four seven, you want me to come home and be the perfect boyfriend to you but where is my time? Where is the time for me? It’s selfish of you to always put your wants first.” He knew he should shut up, knew none of that was true but he couldn’t stop himself.
“No I just meant that I missed you I didn’t-“ she sighed, the argument dying on her tongue. “I’m sorry.”
“You always say that. You just ruined a good day…god” he huffed, a hand running through his hair.
The second the words were out of his mouth he felt a twinge of guilt pang through him. Everything had come out wrong he should have been apologising but all he could feel was anger, anger at himself for being a fucking awful partner even though she had only ever been good to him and for whatever reason he still hadn’t figured out himself he found it all too easy to take it out on her.
“I’m going to shower and then I’ll sleep.” He knew walking away wasn’t right, they should talk, and he should apologise but he couldn’t look at her when she had that glimmer of hurt in her eyes, especially because he’s the one that put it there.
He stepped under the water, his head thrown forward as he let it wash away his worries. As much as he tries to focus on the sound of water pelting off the glass he can’t stop thinking about what just unfolded.
He should walk away, he should let her go so she can find someone who makes her happy but he won’t, and he knows deep inside she won’t leave either, no matter how much of an asshole he is.
He’s sad, although not surprised, to see the bed empty. On days like this, he knew you chose to wait up until he slept and he wasn’t going to interrupt that so he slid under the covers, bordering on that space of awake and sleep until he felt you slide in beside him. He pulled her closer to him, needing your touch before whispering an “I love you.” Placing a soft kiss on your head.
There was so much more he could say, so much he should say but he settled for the three words.
The next morning Jungkook woke up first which was a surprising occurrence but he decided to make the best of it. He quickly showered and got dressed before setting off for the kitchen. Making breakfast although a small act of love was where he decided to start making amends.
He flicked on a playlist of songs Taehyung had made him before letting himself be carried away by the copious chopping and frying.
He noticed her hovering in the doorway. “Good morning baby.”
Jungkook swore his heart grew at the sight of her smile. “Good morning.”
“Come here.” He called out, turning down the stove before opening his arms. He felt himself relax once his body was pressed against her as though it was made to be there. “I’m sorry for last night.”
“It’s okay.” She whispers but he knows it isn’t, regardless of what she says it isn’t okay, and it will never be okay.
Jungkook pushes her back a little, taking in her forced smile before asking “Is it really? Do you forgive me?”
“I’ll always forgive you.” She responded without any hesitation, that was a true answer as unhealthy as it was he knew she meant it with her entirety.
He knew he wasn’t worthy of you, knew that you loved and cared for him far beyond that which he deserved so he promised, he promised himself he would try, he would try to be better, be a fraction of the person she deserved and even if he couldn’t he knew it would be okay because they would always be there, needing one another.
“I’m in love with you.” Jungkook breathed, shifting his head and tilting her chin up to kiss her.
“I’ll love you for the rest of my life.” She mumbled back, a bright smile on her face.
And just like that everything fell back into their normal.
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smooth-perceval · 1 year ago
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“Make the world go away”
Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader
Summary: The reader is struggling after going public with Charles- reader has a breakdown when Charles returns home.
Warnings: Angst, Mentions of depression, reader hating herself a lot- a lot of body shaming, death threats, Charles being so sweet, a lot of tears, fluff, my bad writing.
Word count: 2,041
Music: Make the world go away- Duffy.
Key: Y/N (Your name)
A/N: I’ve been feeling a bit off lately- and there was no other song to describe how I felt than the one I have tagged- it’s a cover by Duffy, original singer Timi Yuro if I’m correct <3
THIS WAS RUSHED I HAVE A VERRYYYY GOOD CHARLES SERIES THAT IM STARTING AND IM EGER TO GET THE FORST CHAPTER OUT BY TOMROROW EVENING!!
Enjoy!!
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Charles and me went public roughly 3 weeks ago- not officially public, but I mean it’s official in the sense I had been spotted with him during race weekend- and not exactly in a friendly manner, wrapped up with one and another at the back of his garage- stealing sweet kisses and adoring smiles.
I’ve attended races before- been in exact same spot before yet this time we got caught, and well-
My, oh my you should’ve seen the headlines…
-Charles newest trophy,
-Leclerc at it again,
-Leclerc’s mysterious girl.
-The Ferrari driver and the other woman.
The other woman? It’s been a year since his ex and him announced their split- somehow I’m the other woman? I mean give me a break…
Seriously, give me a break- the hate I’ve received for liking a boy was just unreal. Charles was a saint in their eyes- but me? Oh I was the wicked witch of the west, I somehow bewitched this boy into wanting me- it was all my fault!
Overtime the hate as always gets too much, and now I find myself every night finding a new flaw on my once perfect body. A new feature on me I didn’t realise was so disgusting until that one user online commented about it.
I found myself stuck in rotation infront of a mirror I used to once love admiring myself in. The same old mirror that now shows a broken girl, struggling to breathe like I was drowning in a pool of hatred. The world weighing me down sitting like devils on my shoulders, always reminding me that I am not good enough for the world.
Not ever good enough for Charles.
And just like a routine I was stuck in crying myself to sleep every night and ensure Charles that I was fine, “I’m just tired” I was tired truthfully, I was tired of it all, I couldn’t take it anymore- I hated myself for not loving me more, I hated me for not loving Charles more, I hated me for not being perfect for him. I hate me.
I finally urged myself to get in the shower tonight. Not only the fact I needed one- but because Charles was soon to arrive home, and I had to wash off every piece of evidence that I’ve been feeling so lost and alone.
As the night rolled on more, I laid in bed- Charles robe tied tightly around my body hiding the matching black underwear set, hair still wrapped up in a towel. The mirrors were avoided- I knew for a fact I looked terrible, but couldn’t bring myself to confirm it. My eyes were glued to the time on my phone, expecting the guy I need is such desperate times to walk through the door.
Another 10 more minutes and his back to being mine. Sighing to myself I rolled my head to the side the towel coming loose and sprawling across the bed, finally catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and like a trance I found myself sliding off the bed and over to the exact mirror, watching myself like I was hunting me down. The girl in the mirror wasn’t getting away again, she had to be judged.
My damp hair dripped behind me leaving a little trail from the bed to the mirror, some wet strands sticking to my face. With a huff I brushed them back before untying the robe, revealing my semi-naked self, my bra strap sliding down with the robe- and like my hair I brushed it back up with a defeated sigh.
Moving side to side, I observed every crease in my body, every mole, every dent, every scratch. I observed everything- stepping away from the mirror I took in my entire body, it was horrid. What did Charles see in me?
The girls he could have and he chose me- I feel sick looking at myself, I don’t know how he must feel… I hate me. I hate that nobody thinks I’m perfect for him, perfect for their Charles.
Lip quivering, and my cheeks slowly getting wetter by the moment, I slid my hands over my stomach and hips- my skin feeling rough, biting my hands at every movement.
Eating me alive- and with shallow breaths I glanced away from the mirror trying to regain some control over myself. The shallow breaths soon eased, and I finally felt like I could breathe again.
Like I wasn’t suffocating anymore, or that the room wasn’t getting smaller and as soon as I could breathe I looked back at myself once again.
“mon chéri-” (my darling)
Spinning around on the spot- caught in the act I stared at a very confused Charles.
“What are you doing?” A little smile on his face as he stepped in the room, forgetting his suitcase and bags behind him.
“I didn’t hear the door go-” swallowing the lump in my throat I quickly crouch down scrambling to grab Charles robe from the floor.
Charles had moved further into the room crouching down to my height. “And even so you still haven’t welcomed me home.” His smile grew even more teasing as he placed his knee onto the robe holding it down.
“Charles move over-” a fake laugh left me as I tugged away at the robe, more self conscious by the second.
“Where’s my kiss?”
“Two seconds let me just cover up-”
“Do I have to kiss you hm?” Raising his eyebrows he brushed my damp hair over my shoulder.
“Charles move.” Looking up at him with a glare, I pulled hardener at the fabric underneath his knee.
Now furrowing his eyebrows, he lifted his knee watching me, like a lion stalking his prey, eyes glued to me just like I was not long ago in the mirror.
Quickly scrambling away, I pulled the robe over me quickly tying it even more tighter around my waist, abruptly standing up.
“Sorry… I didn’t meant to raise my voice.” Chewing my lip anxiously, looking down at Charles, still knelt on one knee, on the floor beneath me.
“What was that all about?”
“What? Me raising my voice?”
Shaking his head, he now knelt on both knees raising himself up a little, his head at waist line as he looked up at me.
“You practically begged for this robe.”
His face showed no emotion. Truthfully he looked like he was still piecing together what just happened. “I was just getting cold that’s all- come stand up so I can welcome you home-” rubbing my hands through his hair, I slid my hands to either side of his face.
And like in a trance guided him to his feet, him now standing tall above me.
“Welcome home” leaning up onto my tip toes I kissed his lips softly.
Charles lips didn’t move against mine, they was stiff. He was now stiff.
“You’ve been crying.” Closing my eyes, I pulled away from him stepping back.
“No I haven’t long showered Charles.”
“I know what this is.” Nodding his head with surety he stepped closer. Guiding his hands to my hips and pulling me in, both of us now inches apart.
“Take it off.” His hands now found the strings of the robe pulling them loose.
“Charles-”
“I’m not asking Y/N.” With tired eyes, they silently begged me to re-undress. Mine? They filled with tears once again, lip trembling as I tired to hold it all back.
“I’m so sorry Charles…” looking down at his hands watching him intently, them now brushing the robe back off my shoulders and back onto the ground, kicking it aside.
Gulping to myself Charles now moved, looking up quickly wondering where he had gone, I then felt his presence behind me. “Look at you.” He brushed my hair over the other shoulder, now resting his head on the bare one, hands now resting on my hips again.
“Look at you mon chéri.” (My darling)
“I am looking at me…” sighing I tilt my head slightly, the tears making their way down and dripping off my chin.
“Why you crying?” His hand reached around wiping both cheeks and cupping my jaw, bringing my head to tilt his way.
“Because-”
With a delicate kiss to my cheek, he then stared at me through the mirror.
“Use your words Y/N”
With another loud sigh, I finally gave in. Pushing my back closer into his chest, his arms in an instinct manner wrapped securely around me holding me tight.
“I’m not good enough for you Charles.”
“Who said so?”
“Everyone says so-”
“My maman thinks your perfect.” Smiling a little at me his hands started caressing my body.
“I think your perfect.” He placed a gentle kiss to the top of my spine and slowly trailed kisses down it.
“I just want them all to leave me alone…” looking up at the ceiling I bite my lip, to stop more tears, and to suppress any other emotions wanting to escape.
“Who?” While once again knelt on the floor he grabbed my waist softly twirling me on the spot.
“the whole world.” Subconsciously my hands now rested on his shoulders squeezing them tight.
“Make the world go away.”
Smiling sadly up at me, his head placed itself resting against my stomach, arms hugging my legs, like a child.
“Get it off of my shoulders.”
Wrapping my arms protectively around his head I bent slightly trying to lower myself to his level. He was quick to move, now throwing me over his shoulders and moving over to the bed, and ever so softly placing me down. Throwing the towel that was once wrapped around my head somewhere else in the room.
“ma jolie fille” (my pretty girl)
Charles started placing sweet kisses over every inch of my body, whispering sweet nothings between each kiss.
“Do you realise, how absolutely gorgeous you are?” Now hovering above me, one arm supporting him up, the other tracing small circles on my inner thigh. Clouding my thoughts.
“Do you realise, that no matter if you was a worm-” pausing he rolled his eyes with a smile, reciting when I asked him a few weeks ago if he would still be with me if I was a worm.
“You do realise I would still love you with my whole entire heart and soul?”
Leaning down his lips brushed mine, hand now stopped moving- but gripping onto my thigh kneading it slowly.
“I’m not good enough for you Charles…” breathing hitched, not for holding back tears- better yet holding back a moan, Charles had me wrapped around his finger always, and the way his making me forget the such hate I have had, and the emotions I have shed. Made me love him.
“You right.” Like a shot to the chest- I started to close up.
“You more than perfect for me.” Sighing a breath of relief, my arms wrapped around his neck pulling him a little closer.
“Je t'aime Y/N.” (I love you Y/N)
Once again my breathing hitched, and my heart skipped a beat.
“I love your smile, your eyes, your nose, your lips, your ears, your neck, your shoulders, your chest, your stomach, yours legs, your feet, even your toes. I love you.”
Eyes welling up I sighed in a bliss.
“I don’t think I can ever stop the hate mon chéri… I wish I could protect you from the world truthfully. But I make you a promise that for every day I’m breathing I promise to love your heart- and fill it with pure utter happiness and love. Whatever them people are saying are wrong, and even if you looked like your little worm, I will still love that caring heart of yours.” (My darling)
Leaning down to my chest, he kisses just between my breast so gently, like if he didn’t my heart would break.
“je t'aime aussi Charles.” (I love you too Charles) Finally with a genuine smile on my face I rest my head back comfortably into the cushions.
“Now let me show you how much I love you.” Biting down on the middle of my bra he pulled at it teasingly. Causing me to giggle.
“let me welcome you home mon beau garçon.” (My pretty boy)
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A/N: Okyyy it was very rushed but like I said I have a Charles x Fem!Reader series coming outttt and I wanna let you all have the first chalter as soon as possible!!!
Masterlist
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writingsfromhome · 4 months ago
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The Golden Years
A/N: really liked this song the first time I heard it and decided to write something based off of it!!
——————————————
5 years ago:
The halls were noisy with the rush of the bell; the day had ended and everyone was eager to get home on the spring Friday. I sit in the music room with my guitar, strumming softly trying to get the tune out of my head.
The music room had the familiar woody smell, I never really knew if that was from the furnishing or all the instruments but I never got tired of it.
The only other people here are Thomas who’s napping after skipping his last class and the music teacher who’s setting up the class for next week’s lesson. He liked me and by extension allowed me to linger in his class after school. And sometimes let my mates stay hidden from hall monitors.
I wave goodbye to him as he finishes up, wishing him a good weekend. He just misses y/n walking in.
Y/n y/l/n. She moved down the road from me a couple years ago and she was always fascinating to me. She’d made friends her first few months here and stuck with them—those same friends hated my friends for various reasons but they always gave me an excuse to interact with her albeit in an annoying way.
Y/n was known to win out the lead for any play our school has put on. She had an infectious energy and I’d spent every moment she caught my eye gazing at her—not that I’d admit it if anyone ever asked.
She spots me and smiles, I remember to smile back at the last minute, shocked that she was acknowledging me with one. We hadn’t been nice to each other in a while; the circles we ran in loved to hate each other.
“Hey Harry,” she walks up to a nearby desk and perches there. “Whatcha working on today?”
I try to compose myself, “hey. Y/n. Uh I’m just trying something out. Something new.”
“Can I hear it?” She asks, her eyes alight with a genuine interest. It catches me off guard again.
“Really?”
“Yeah! I asked didn’t I?!”
“It’s really rough.”
“That’s okay,” she shrugs. She makes herself more comfortable.
“Really rough I-“
“Please?”
With a bat of her eyes I’m putty. I take in a deep breath—here goes nothing. Or if anything this would just be one more thing her friends could make fun of me for. Maybe that’s why she was here.
I strum her what I’d been working on for the last hour and hum along. She listens intently, her expression shifting and opening up as the chords change. Being me and nervous, I end it on the wrong note and nearly poke my eye out with the neck, making an awkward save as I set it down on my lap.
She sits quietly after the production, back straight and gazing out the window with a relaxed smile.
“I know you said that’s rough but that was amazing.” She says to me. “You’re actually bloody talented Harry.”
“Aw uhm well thanks,” I mumble. My cheeks feel on fire. I rarely played for people like this. If they were around while I worked on pieces that was alright but I’ve never had an audience of one.
“No really! You have a gift how long you working on?”
“The day.”
“The day!” She shouts and her enthusiasm makes me laugh. I don’t know why she was being so nice to me but it fills me with a buzzing joy. “You have such a way with your music like each strum is a new part of a story. It’s good! I can imagine it in a movie.”
I blush harder, “Thanks I um…I really enjoy it. Sometimes it’s easier to express myself with this than with…with like a conversation?”
She nods in understanding, “Y’know you should share your music. Start a channel or something online and post stuff! Like covers—people love covers-“
“I don’t really like to sing.”
“But I bet you’re good at it too?”
“Uhm nah I’m-“
“Don’t get shy on me now!” She nudges me and I swear I feel it linger even after she moves her hand away. “You’re such a tough jerk in the halls when you’re picking on my friends don’t go soft now.”
I laugh until I’m doubled over, part overjoyed and part embarassed because it was true. I don’t know why I was suddenly being shy.
“I’ve got to warm up my vocal cords,” I touch my throat once I’m done laughing. She grins. “I can’t sing right now.”
“I’ll hear it one day. I’m holding you to it.” She points a finger at me. “You should be performing this stuff.”
The idea of performing outside the walls of the music room felt both exciting and daunting. But the earnestness in y/n’s eyes give me a sense of courage.
"Maybe," I shrug. "I've never really thought about it.”
"Well, maybe it's time you did," she suggests gently. "Don't let your talents stay hidden."
“Yeah,” I smile. “Makes sense coming from you.”
“What’s that mean?” She raises a brow.
“Our year wouldn’t be blessed with all your productions, you’ve got natural talent too.”
“Yeah well,” now it’s her time to blush. “I really enjoy it.”
“I know.” I say. She catches my eye and a tender fondness passes between us.
“Anyway, I promised Clara I would braid her hair before her football match so I’ve got to go. But…it was nice talking Harry.”
I watch her go and I can’t wipe the dopey smile off my face the rest of the weekend.
5 years later:
I didn’t think I would see her here. After all, she lived across the pond these days and had rsvp’d as a maybe.
But there she stands with the same group of friends that surrounded her even back then. They’re all a little older, grown into people their secondary selves could only imagine becoming. But even now, they’re faceless next to her; she commands all my attention.
She looks stunning in a simple blue bridesmaid dress and her hair grown down in waves. The wind lifts her hair and she looks as majestic as the first day my eyes landed on her. As radiant as every day I’d been with her afterwards. She was golden sunshine and every minute I got to spend with her had been golden too.
Four years since I last saw her. Those four years had gone by in the blink of an eye; it had been fun ‘til it hurt.
I feel a surge of emotions—longing, regret, and the tiniest speck of hope. They compete for dominance as I indulge studying her for a moment longer and just as I look away her head lifts, catching my gaze for the briefest second.
My heart races.
I turn and wander to where my mates pass a football around. Just like we used to. Some things never changed.
Some things did.
“You see her yet?” Thomas asks.
“D’you not see the look in his eye?” Abe, his twin brother, asks.
“Yeah I saw her,” I interrupt before they wheedle me for how I looked. I could imagine it, the regret and sorrow etched into my face. “It’s been four years I’ve already told you lot I’m over it.”
My friends glance at each other.
“I am.” I insist.
“The lady doth protest—ow!” Ramo rubs his chest where I’d tossed the football.
“Where’d this even come from?” I nod to the football.
They shrug, “Some kid had it. We stole it from him.”
I sigh and look around the space. One of our best mates from secondary was getting married to Hailey, one of Y/N’s mates. That’s why half of our class was here a short walk from where we all went to school.
The reception should have started a half hour ago but the couple were stuck in traffic. Apparently. So all the guests have been entertaining ourselves and that meant stealing footballs from children.
“What happened to that lady you were supposed to bring along?” Abe asks.
“Lady?” I ask.
“Yeah wasn’t she a few years older than you?”
I repress the urge to sigh, the same as when we were school boys these friends never stopped teasing each other. Of course I also did my fair share but the trick was to never let them know it cut too deep.
“We ended things a while ago,” I say as if it doesn’t poke at an old wound to say.
A while ago was two weeks ago when she found out my ex would be at the wedding and I had sent a text to the best man clarifying if she would be there. She had seen the message and gone batshit, talking about trust and about being emotionally closed off. It was hours of arguing into the night before she’d left home. We’d broken up the next day.
The old wound was feeling like I was never going to find love like I did with her. With Y/N. Every relationship I’d had since crashed and burned worse than a Nascar vehicle with faulty mechanics.
If I would've known those were the golden years, I would have done things so differently.
But for the last two weeks instead of pathetically staring at pictures with my ex and wondering if I should call her to make up, I was pathetically looking at the polaroids of Y/N and I that I kept in an old box. I wondered what happened to the ones she had, if they had gone up in flames or if they lived in a shoebox under her bed.
My attention’s snagged by the boys elbowing each other and glancing at me and then behind me. I turn just in time for y/n and a couple of her friends to walk up to us.
I try to play it cool but I don’t know how I look; probably like a deer in headlights, and y/n is the bright stark headlights.
But her eyes slide off of me and onto the group and it feels like I’ve become the deer after the headlights have blinked out of sight.
“If it isn’t the poor four,” one of y/n’s friend uses our nickname from school. “And who’s this?”
“Dinis,” Dinis puts the football down and extends his hand to Clara. We watch them flirt.
“Didn’t you know Dinis in college?” Abe asks.
“Clara moved away in college,” y/n says smiling at the interaction happening in front of us. “Obviously she hasn’t felt the Dinis-effect yet.”
Her friend and her laugh.
“Oi Y/N haven’t seen you in a minute how’s the Angel City?” Ramo asks.
“You mean the city of angels?” Y/n raises a brow and the group laughs again. I’m too mesmerized watching her talk, seeing her alive and in person in front of me to catch the joke in time so I smile along with the group. “It’s cool, always something to do. But I don’t actually live there anymore I moved out of the city last year. Get some breathing room.”
My heart skips a beat. “I heard the city’s as rammed as ours.”
I anticipate her attention, us locking eyes, something passing between. When our eyes do meet I feel a rush of familiarity and uncertainty.
And she simply glances like I’m just another bloke to her, nods, and the looks back at the group. “Yeah sometimes even worse if you can believe.”
Someone else asks another question but my head is filled with a loud buzz. Reality feels like it crushes me down as easy as an aluminum can; I was spared a glance. She spared me a glance. That’s all I was to her?
“Where d’you think the newlyweds are?” Clara asks.
“Traffic,” Abe rolls his eyes.
“Think fast,” Thomas suddenly shouts and the football is whizzing past me towards Clara. We watch in horror as it hits her with a thwack in the chest.
“What the fuck Thomas!” Clara holds her hands out as she stares at the dirt staining her blue dress. “What the-“
“That’ll come off,” Clara’s friends assure her. “It’s not mud don’t-“
“Here,” suddenly Denis is beside her and holding out his hand. “I’ll help you clean it off.”
“What the hell mate?” I look at Thomas. He’s flushed and looking scared. I’m too busy looking at him to notice Clara’s pitched the ball back at him and it hits him in the side of the head, knocking some sense back into him.
“Nice one.” Someone mutters.
“I’m sorry!” He finally finds his voice as Clara walks away with Dinis.
“You’ve got shite all over your hair,” Abe points out to his brother.
“I’m outta here before I’m next,” y/n’s other friends starts to back away to the group they were in previously.
“Where?!” Thomas starts rubbing it off which only spreads it further into gelled hair.
“Let’s go,” Abe hauls his brother away with an arm locked around his neck, tussling the dirt in his hair as they go.
“So…” Ramo looks between y/n and me, scratching the back of his head. “That was crazy. I should return this ball to…”
He trails off, walking away from the two of us. Which wouldn’t have been as awkward except he just left a cloud of awkward in his stead.
“Y/N,” I say softly like I was approaching a feral pup.
“Harry,” she replies, her tone polite yet distant, a subtle barrier between us.
“I don’t think they’ve changed much,” I act like I wasn’t aware of everything unspoken.
She smiles politely. “Nope. Just as boyish as the day we all met.”
“That wasn’t our proudest moment-“
“Yeah you boys thought you could beat us girls at British bulldog.”
“Little did we know,” I shake my head. We’d been badly beaten and battered by the girls’ team. We didn’t take to losing very well back then.
“If only we knew then what we know now.”
I look over at y/n; it felt like she was saying one thing but meant something else. Something that sounded close to reminiscing about us.
But with how she was acting it made me feel like I’d made us up. Was it never that serious for her?
“Wouldn’t have fucked up so much?” I ask.
“Yeah something like that,” her lips tip into a half smile. She still hasn’t looked me in the eye for more than a second. I missed those eyes. I missed the way they used to look at me.
“How’s the acting?” I ask. I wait for her to look at me, acknowledge me more than she did. Wait to see if alone together there would be more meaning in the looks we exchange but she stays facing forward.
“It’s slow right now. I haven’t been booking much this season which is why I was able to make it to this.”
“Sorry to hear that,” look at me I want to say instead.
She shrugs. “It happens. Slow seasons then you find yourself booked back to back and burnt out. Nature of the biz as they say.”
“Very LA.”
We go quiet and I feel my heart explode at the distance she was keeping; I can sense her guardedness.
"I've missed you," I confess quietly, unable to hold back the truth any longer. "I think about you often."
Her gaze softens, a fleeting vulnerability crossing her features before it hardens into something stonier.
"It’s been four years," she notes in an even voice. “Surely you’ve moved on Harry. Don’t try to flatter me now.”
I don’t think I had moved on, I think with a sinking heart. I hoped tonight would be a night of reconnecting and exploring if there was anything left of us in the future. But it seemed that y/n had made up her mind about what her future was going to be long before this.
“Oh look Clara’s back,” she spots her friend walking back towards us. Dinis is nowhere in sight but she’s splotchy and windswept.
“I’m going to literally kill that prick. I’ve got a wet spot on my front like I’m still bloody breastfeeding or something.”
“It’ll dry up,” y/n pats her friend’s dress. “It’s sunny out don’t worry.”
“It better by the time we do photos.”
It’s like I’m not even there. They continue talking and slowly turn to walk back to their other friends.
“Nice talk,” I call out.
Clara’s still too busy ranting but y/n glances at me. Her smile is a reflex as she waves, unengaged and apathetic.
I feel a jab in my chest, I don’t know what to think. The last four years I’ve been so afraid I’d let go of the best thing. That I’d never find a love like hers. Meanwhile she’s moved on so much that I wasn’t even an ex any longer. I was just someone she knew in grade school. That hurts. It feels like lava dripping over my chest.
“Y’alright?” Ramo reappears at my side. He looks genuinely concerned.
“Yeah!” I put on a smile I don’t even feel. “Just wondering when this party’s getting bloody started.”
I feel Ramo’s eyes on me as I walk towards another drink but he doesn’t say anything more.
***
I sit with my arm around Y/n and her head rests on my shoulder. Sometimes the quiet moments we existed in beat out the others. They fed my heart and heightened every sense of mine.
“I wrote something,” I whisper into her hair. She turns her head to look up at me and I gently pull away. “A song…for you.”
“For me?” Y/n’s eyes are alight with shock and something else. “You wrote a song for me?”
My heart pounds as I confirm with a nod. “I’m halfway done but I wanted you to hear it.”
“Well go on,” she sits up and angles herself towards me. “I want to hear it!”
I pull my guitar case closer to me and open the familiar snaps, pulling the instrument out and close to me with shaky hands. Y/N watches with an excited attentiveness.
I began the melody that started as a few chords in my head the first time Y/N and I kissed under this tree and has continued to build for the 4 weeks since. This tree felt like it witnessed so much of the 5 weeks we’ve officially been together and I wanted to write an ode to it as much as y/n.
I couldn’t believe it was only 5 weeks but after a summer and a whole semester of flirting and hanging out I’d finally asked her out at the end of January. It was now March and Y/n had gotten her acceptance letter from across the ocean. She had told me last week with nervous hands and I wanted her to know we would always have this thing between us no matter what decision she made.
Y/n smiles as I begin but her eyes grow misty as I finish my final lines I had so far.
"And under the cherry tree, where love and laughter will always be," I sing softly, my voice cracking with emotion. "I'll cherish all these memories, even when you're not beside me."
“Oh Har,” she tips forward and I catch her against my chest, her head buried in my neck. “I can’t imagine living so far from you. Leaving you and everyone behind.”
“It’s the adventure you’ve been waiting for,” I reassure her. “You’re gonna make it big.”
“I don’t know if it’s worth it,” she whispers.
I pry her away gentle so she can look me in the face. I want to selfishly tell her to stay and never leave me. But even more than that I want her to do what she has always been passionate about, what she loves to do.
Love.
I love her, I realize with a clarity that cut so deep it tumbles out of my mouth.
“I love you,” I say. She freezes in my arms and I fumble to continue. “And I want you to live the life you always imagined. You’re destined for amazing things y/n I know it. I’ll always be here.”
“Will you?”
“Of course,” I kiss her on her temple and ignore that she didn’t say it back. That I said it too soon damnit we’d only been dating a month. What was wrong with me?
“I think you need to share your talent with the world,” she reminds me.
“That’s why I joined the talent show with you.” It was y/n’s idea, a final hurrah before we graduate and to prove to myself that I could get over my performance anxiety.
“We’re gonna crush it.”
I nod, the lump in my throat grows too big for words. She seems to sense it like she always does and pulls me into her this time.
It would take her a week to whisper the three words back to me, in the darkened corner of a house party right before she leads me home. It was a long week but so worth it.
***
The next time I catch y/n alone is when I’m talking to Hailey who’s thanking me for the few words I gave for her now husband Michael. The husband in question was doing the Macarena and Hailey was the sort to never be caught dead doing that sort of thing.
That’s why the couple never made sense to either group of friends. Yet they were the ones with a ring on their finger this many years later.
“Hailey oh-“ y/n is tipsy, I can tell with the sheen to her eye and the permanent half-smile etched into her lips. “Sorry didn’t realize-“
“That’s alright!” Hailey wraps her arm around y/n. “This girl is the best. She literally hopped on a last minute flight to be here! Can you believe that? I was crushed when she said maybe but ugh she always swoops in last minute saves the day. That’s always been her, back in the day during one of our school dances right, I got caught with…”
Y/n and I lock eyes as the bride babbles on and there. Finally there. The passing look of two people who know what the other is thinking without a single word.
She seems to catch herself and after an intense few seconds and a small smile she composes her face into an unengaged one and jostles Hailey.
“Hailey Harry doesn’t care! I just wanted to get a photo with you and Mik-“
“He’s too bloody busy doing cringe dances-“
“He’s actually having a drink looking for you now but look at this.”
“What?” Hailey’s head swivels around the room as y/n presents her phone with the groom doing a very serious macarena.
“And they say gen z get all the cringe dances,” I comment. Y/n snorts and then covers her mouth, her laugh falling away into a composed expression.
“You know you don’t have to do that,” I say before I can think. A part of me was getting desperate and a little irritated and another felt heartbroken all over again.
“Do what?” She asks as Hailey prances away from us when she spots Michael.
“Be all serious and composed around me. If I’m funny just laugh. My ego could use a lift.”
She stares with a tight lip and cautious eyes.
“You used to laugh the most at my jokes,” I say a bit softer. “Made me feel like the funniest bloke in the room.”
Her eyes lose a bit of their edge but her mouth is still hard-set and a wrinkle forms between her brows. That was new.
“I-I’ve gotta go.” She says. “Gotta get the picture.”
“Right,” I shove my hands in my pockets and watch her go back to the married couple. Right before she reaches them she turns slightly. When she finds me still watching, she jerks back around.
Hope siphons into my chest.
***
“This is the best song!” Abe shouts in my ear as he and the remaining wedding guests belt out Sweet Caroline.
It was late into the wedding party. Much of the older invitees had gone home and kids with their footballs were probably tucked into bed. What remained were Hailey and Michael’s school friends and a few stragglers that were too drunk to want to go home.
“Final song,” the DJ announces. “Time of my Life.”
All night I had been stealing glances at y/n waiting to see if she would come to me. Reciprocate even an ounce of anything I felt. But she hadn’t. She’d gone out of her way to avoid me even when we’d bumped into each other outside the toilets. She’d simply brushed past with a mumble of something I couldn’t make out.
I think what I said to her made her angrier. The anger, and the cold shoulder was new. It makes me feel small.
But I’d had enough drinks by now to feel confident. Enough to walk to where she dances with some friends.
“Y/n.”
She startles and plays it off with a laugh. “What d’you want?”
I motion my head to the side. To talk.
Hesitation makes her eyes weary but she follows after a moment.
Everyone around us sings along to the song. The irony isn’t lost on me.
“What?” She asks.
I stare at her openly, she allows me as she searches my face herself. I grasp at something to start this off with but I’ve had a few drinks myself.
“I used to think you were completely out of my league,” what comes out is a random thought in the speech I’d built up in my head throughout the night.
Her nose wrinkles, “what are you on about Harry?”
“Don’t do that,” I clutch my shirt. “Don’t act like we’re strangers, like we didn’t have something together.”
Her smile falls away, “we had something…like four five years ago. That’s…that’s ages ago Harry. Tell me you’re not still hung up on it?”
Her voice cuts right through me but it’s her gaze that doesn’t quite look at me that gives her away.
“Look me in the eye and tell me I mean nothing to you now,” I cut through the bullshit. It might have been the realization that I’d stayed hung up on this woman for years, sabotaged my love life on the idea I’d find nothing like what we had. And she stood here in front of me now undermining what we had. Making me feel crazy.
She looks me in the eyes, the eyes that haunted me in my dreams.
“I…it was a long time ago Harry.”
“Then why’ve you been avoiding me all night?”
“I haven’t. We’re talking now?”
“So I’m nothing to you?” I ask, hearing the hurt and wishing I didn’t sound so desperate.
“Look. We were young and free and what we had back then doesn’t actually translate to much when you look back as adults.”
“Is that what you tell yourself? So you can freeze away your feelings for what we had?”
She gapes, then turns away with her arms wrapped around herself like the freezing caught up.
“I don’t know what you want.” She finally says.
“I just…” what did I want? “I want to know if you ever think about us. If you have any regrets…if…”
She sighs, “Of course you cross my mind from time to time. But I wouldn’t have regrets. I can see why someone would have regrets, however, after they just let someone they called the love of their life go. Especially when she needed him the most.”
There it was. Her hot anger.
“When you needed…”
“Yeah!” She barely glances at me. “I was scared of leaving and losing you and being alone and all the unknown things. And you left me. You just…said goodbye to us.”
Woah.
Her eyes prick with tears and she turns back to the dancing crowd. The song was winding down and the venue being cleared. I feel the opportunity pass through my fingers.
If I would have known, I would have held her longer. I would never have left her alone. Especially when she needed me the most.
“Y/n,” in a desperate move I grab for her arm and turn her back around. Her lashes are lined with tears, her mouth open in an “o” as she looks up at me. My eyes can’t help themselves as they flicker down to them. This was the closest I came to holding her like before. Her eyes do the same and I feel my heart racing in my chest.
“I’m sorry,” I croak. “For what it’s worth.”
“It’s not worth much,” she says through a watery smile. Trying not to cry; trying to stay composed.
“I’m still in l-“
“Stop,” she puts her hand on top of mind and gently nudges it off her arm. She shakes her head and her hair falls gently to cover her face. “I can’t do this right now Harry. I travelled all this way to celebrate our best friends. But the distance between us was for a reason.”
“It’s been years-“
“Doesn’t change how you left me after I gave you my whole heart. Or the fact that that we ended.”
“I truly an sorry,” I say to her retreating figure.
The shame I feel courses through my body; I couldn’t have known better back then. I was young and stupid and I didn’t realize these types of decisions weren’t to be made lightly. That their repercussions would echo for the rest of my life.
I left her under the cherry tree in the courtyard of the school we’d graduated from. It was late June and it haunted my memories since.
Under the skyward branches of the blushing cherry tree, a solemn silence hung in the air. It was the last day of our final year, and emotions swirled between us like the spring breeze.
Y/N stood with her back against the tree trunk, her yearbook clasped tightly to her chest, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. I stood before her, my hands nervously clenched in my pockets, heart heavy with the weight of impending decision.
"I can't believe it's over," y/n murmured, her voice cracking with emotion as she meets my eyes. "Four years went by so fast."
I nod, unable to maintain eye contact. It wasn’t school ending that was making us this sad but what would come of us as I would attend school in the country and y/n out.
This decision weighed heavily on my mind ever since I learned y/n was attending ucla across the ocean—a decision she had made long before we acknowledged our feelings for each other. Now facing the idea of long-distance, I couldn’t shake the fear that everything was changing and things would be different in an unknowable way.
"Yeah," I manage to reply. My voice comes out hoarse, my throat tight with tears I was pushing down. “I'm going to miss this... miss us I…”
Her lower lip trembles, emotions ripple across her features. “Harry god I’m gonna miss us, you…just getting to be together everyday!”
I scrub at my eyes, not wanting to cry right now. She notices and wipes them for me. “You've been my rock through everything this last year."
I take a step towards her, closer. She was the sun and I wanted to bask in her glow, always. Except today wasn’t a bright day, my heart breaks at the sight of the tears streaking her cheeks. “Y/N I…” I try to find the right words but they fail me again. In the meantime a hundred chords play through my mind, deepening the grief I felt.
Suddenly a surge of panic grips me, my blood turns cold like it usually did when I thought about her leaving me. When I consider the depth of what this meant.
Deep down I couldn’t bear the thought of losing y/n but at the same time the unknown was playing at my fears, my anxiety. Imagine a future where she’s thousands of miles away. Everyone I know who talks about long-distance always gets their heart broken…distance never makes relationships stronger.
What if, I think, what if I just rip the bandaid off.
Wouldn’t that be the merciful thing to do? Instead of continuing to a point of no return. I mean what if we try long-distance, y/n creates a life in America, and realizes I was holding her back? What if we end up hating each other?
My brow feels slick and my heart pounds away. I clear my throat.
“I love you y/n.” I tuck her hair behind her ear.
“I love you too,” she whispers.
“After this summer, after you leave-“
“We don’t have to talk about this right now let’s just enjoy now and-“
“How can we?” I finally break. “How can we enjoy now when we know there’s an expiry date to all this!”
“Harry,” y/n grabs my hands. Attempts to soothe my anxiety but I’d passed the point of no return. The words continue to tumble out.
“What if…maybe it’s for the best if we…if we let go now.”
“What?” Shock colours y/n’s face and her eyes fill with tears. “What are you saying Har?”
“I don't want us to... to hurt each other trying to make this work.”
Her mouth hangs open and I can see her heart breaking in front of me. It kills me inside.
“But Har,” her voice grows desperate. “We talked about…we could…we’ll make it work-“
“Y/n,” now my own grows desperate. I wanted to stop talking about this, now that I’d made the decision to let go I wanted to just cut this loose and run away. “We’ll only hurt more.”
Her lower lip trembles and tears coat her bottom lash as she looks up at me through her top lashes. She whispers, “This isn’t fair.”
“I know,” I hang my head. “I’m sorry.”
And I was. I didn’t want to be the one to break us up but what choice did I have? I was doing it as the best case scenario.
Tears spill down y/n’s face and her voice is barely audible over the rustling of the cherry tree, “b-but I love you.”
I close my eyes for a brief moment, the sway of the leaves now roaring in my ears. Or maybe that was just the blood rushing to my face. I feel my heart turn to dust and my entire body aches as the weight of the decision coats me. “I love you too y/n. I love you now and always.”
I clasp her hand and squeeze it. She squeezes back, a sob pulled forth by the contact.
“Y/n…maybe this is how we say goodbye. On our own terms. With space to…to heal.”
Y/n cries harder and I pull her in, tucking her into me because she fit so perfectly in my contours. A part of me couldn’t believe I was doing this, I always imagined our goodbye at a Heathrow terminal under bright lights and linoleum floors.
We both cry into each other but I pull away first, I had to be the stronger one.
“I wish you nothing but the best,” I cup her face. “I…”
I didn’t know how to translate the dust of my heart. I kiss her one last time and then again on her forehead.
With that, I turn away unable to stand in the heartbreak. Every step away from her and the cherry tree feels impossible but I walk away from the girl who was my everything, feeling torn between the love I had for her and the fear of what the future would bring.
All I’d been thinking about was myself. About how I’d had friends who tried long distance and how their ending was more brutal than ripping the bandaid off from the get go.
That summer we avoided each other at parties, at our local haunts, and on the day she left I watched her car pull away from my bedroom window and leave forever with a leaden feeling in my heart. That I’d made a big mistake, too big to ever fix.
Tonight was the night I was supposed to set thing right. But things were just getting worse.
***
“After party!” Abe wraps his drunken arm around my shoulder. By then I’d sobered up with a quiet moment off to the side, smoking even though I’d tried to quit ten times in the last month. “I thought you quit that you cheeky bugger!”
“I’m going to,” I squish the cigarette against the wall. “You said after party?”
“After party!!” Ramo hollers coming up from behind. I take in the scene before me, the string lights were having their power cut, most of the tables were wiped clear of cutlery and tablecloths. Just like that the magical night Hailey and Micheal had been planning for months was over. Now they had their whole lives in front of them.
“Har?” Someone snaps a finger in front of my face.
“Huh?”
“Where’d you go?” A group had gathered in front of me, a mix of groomsmen and bridesmaid. Y/n isn’t one of them.
“What?” I ask again. “What’s this about an after party?”
“The party isn’t done,” someone replies.
“Please?!” I hear someone else say off to the side. Now that the music had also turned off it had gotten quieter in the venue.
I turn to the other conversation and see Hailey tugging y/n’s arms, trying to convince her of something. And just like that y/n’s eyes meet mine and something like resignation passes through them.
“-you in?” Michael claps my back and I’m jolted back to the crowd in front of me.
“Yeah,” I assumed they asked me about this after party. “Let’s keep the party going!”
Whooping ensures and everyone trickles out into the parking lot.
“Where is this again?” I ask whoever was closest to me.
“Schoolyard?” Clara answers. “If we don’t get kicked out for loitering that is.”
“We’ll just have to be quiet.”
Clara side eyes me and realizes I’m joking. She huffs a laugh. “It’s like hoping for your 1 year old to go to bed without a tantrum.”
“That’s right,” I suddenly remember. “You had a baby last year. Congrats on that Clara.”
She laughs again, “You’re sweet Harry. Thanks. It’s been a hell of a year but I’m a glutton for punishment because all I can think of is skipping the after party to bury my face in my daughter’s. She’s probably asleep though. I’d wake her up.”
I imagine Clara with her daughter, she was always mothering her friends when I’d hang out with y/n in school. “I can see you being a wonderful mum. Your daughter probably adores you.”
“Not as much as I adore her,” Clara sighs. I chuckle and another laugh comes from the other side of me. I startle to see y/n walking beside me.
How long had she been there? Our eyes meet and the smile she sends me is sweet and innocent. Like that day in school long ago when she walked in on me tinkering away on my guitar and asked me to play something for her.
It throws me off just like it did then. I turn away.
“We’re just gonna walk there!” Someone ahead of us shouts back to the group.
“In these heels?” Someone complains.
“The girls can take a car?” Hailey suggests. So some of the bridesmaids pile into one but Clara and y/n stay with Hailey.
“I’m sensible now,” Clara stretches her heel-less foot out. “Y/n you sure you don’t want the ride?”
“I’ve been dancing without these for the last two hours.” Y/n shrugs. “My feet can handle the walk.”
“Are we betting how long it takes to get kicked out?” I ask the remainder of the crew.
Bets start flying, I bet 40 minutes.
“D’you think the cherry tree is still there? That was probably the loveliest bit of our school every spring.” Clara asks. “I haven’t been back in ages.”
“Yeah!” Hailey pipes in. “We did some of our photos there when we did save the dates. We ended up using the ones at the garden though.”
I glance at y/n, I can’t help it. She has the same idea because she looks at me too. I didn’t understand what was happening tonight. I’d nearly given up on reconciling but here she was suddenly giving me softened looks, her hard edges dulling down enough for me to bump into her shoulder and try joking.
“Don’t get any ideas.”
“What?” She balks. “Ideas?!”
“Hey Har,” Hailey turns to me. “D’you still play? That guitar remembers guys? He was always playing that thing.”
I avoid y/n’s gaze now.
“Not really.”
“Harry’s a tight-ass finance bloke now,” Ramo says for me. “That creative spirit died after he and a little somebody-“
“I’m not,” I cut Ramo off knowing he was going to say something that would make all of us awkward. I continue to avoid y/n’s attention. “A tight-ass finance bloke. I like to think I’m a fine-ass finance bloke. And it’s because I just don’t get the time these days.”
“You were so good,” comes y/n’s thoughtful commentary.
“He was wasn’t he?!” Hailey continues. “Thought I’d see you on TV or something. That show with the contestants? I always thought if anyone from school went on there it’d be Harry.”
“Thanks Hailey,” I’m uncomfortable under everyone’s scrutiny. And the way Abe keeps wriggling his eyebrows at me and tilting his head to y/n.
By now we’ve reached the school grounds and watch as the rest of the girls scramble out of the car. I spot the cherry tree on the far side, no longer in bloom and smaller than I remember.
There’s a buzz about the group, like being together all these years later in the schoolyard brings with it some life-changing magic. Like time’s worn thin tonight and we can almost reach out and touch our school selves.
“Hailey and Michael!!” Ramo shouts incredibly loud. My 40 minute bet shrinks to 20. “Official Mr. And Mrs!! Let’s fucking go!!!”
They all take off down the field, open bottles dangling from their hands, jackets and gowns flying in the wind as they go.
I take off after them, laughing as a bubble of relief flows up from my lungs. It was just like before, running across the school field with my mates, laughing and shouting random shite into the world.
I glance to my side and y/n’s pumping her legs but falling behind the group. I hold out my hand without thinking but she comes to a full stop. So do I.
“These fucking heels.” She peels them off and sighs in relief, tossing them to the side and taking a swig of her wine bottle.
“You might need those later.”
“Fuck those heels!” She shouts louder.
I laugh and hold out my hand, “We’re falling behind. C’mon!”
She grabs it and we run to catch up, and I’m grinning so hard I feel like my cheeks are going to split. This might be an illusion of a moment I could only dream of but I didn’t care. Despite the night sky and nippy air, everything was sunny and golden.
The finish line was the cherry tree at the end of the yard and our friends pile around it, out of breath.
“Jesus I’ve got stitches,” Clara complains. “I’m never doing that again.”
Hailey giggles and wraps her arms around her husband. “I love all of you so much. Thanks for making this day so special.”
We all pour our love back to the couple. Alcohol and conversation begins to flow around the group and eventually I find y/n sitting beside me tugging at the grass.
“So you really don’t play anymore?” She asks softly after a while.
Her eyes are round and inquisitive as she asks, and I could drown in them. I think of everything I could tell her about not playing—how it made me think of her, how it hurt too much to play after a while, how that part of me was dead and I didn’t like to dredge it up anymore.
Instead I shake my head and leave it hanging, staring down into my lap.
“Why?” She whispers, edging closer to me so that our knees nearly touch. I wonder if she notices or if it even matters.
Again I think of all the reasons and my eyes fill with tears as I do. I’d shut away so much of myself because I had too much love for y/n that couldn’t go anywhere. I’d shut the love away and myself as well.
She taps my knee and I look up, her eyebrows scrunch together when she notices the tears.
“You were supposed to do big things with that guitar of yours,” she whispers to me. And it sounds exactly like something she would have said to me all those years ago. It’s too much. I take the bottle of wine sitting beside her and take a swig. She watches me with concern.
“Music,” I clear my throat when my voice comes out hoarse. “Music didn’t really hold the same magic afterwards. After we…I stopped…speaking in it.”
“Well fuck. That makes me really sad.”
“It’s alright—numbers became my new language.”
“How depressing!”
I laugh and cut myself short when it nearly turns into a sob.
I was sitting with y/n after all these years, under the cherry tree, and she was farther away than ever.
“I’m sorry,” I say again. “For being a chicken. Leaving before you left me. Then I just watched you go.”
Y/n opens her mouth and closes it after a second. Voices from the group drift over to us, Michael discussing honeymoon plans, Clara showing Dinis photos of her daughter, someone talking about a teacher we all hated.
“That was really sweet what you said to Clara earlier,” y/n says. It’s so random it takes me a second to recall.
“Oh yeah. Well she was always fussing over your friends like a mum. At least whenever I hung out with all of you.”
“She did. Makes sense she’s the first of us to be a mum. Although it wasn’t really planned—I’m really glad it turned out like this for her in the end.”
I nod, unsure where this was going.
“Har I-“ y/n’s voice sticks and she quiets again. It kills me to wait instead of telling her to spit it out.
“Y/n,” I say gently when she presses her lips together and doesn’t speak. I nudge her knee this time. “What?”
Our eyes meet and a galaxy of things rush between us. Memories, like distant stars, flicker with joy and pain. We’re caught between them—caught in the gravitational pull of the past and the very solid present of each other.
“I…I was hurting so bad after. After you said-after we broke up. I forgot you were probably hurting too. That the hurt could have always lingered too.” Y/n admits.
I forget to breathe as a constellation of emotions pools in our eyes, an ache from the unspoken admission that maybe we had missed each other all of this time.
“We were so young,” y/n continues. She picks at the grass. I imagine it helps feel in controls amidst the emotional storm happening between us.
“We were.”
“So free,” she laughs a little.
“Yeah. Too free. I don’t think I realized what I wanted until it was too late.”
“You had the whole summer,” the soft accusation cuts deep. I feel the gravity of how much it affected her.
“I was so scared of the hurt I…”
“Yet we hurt anyway.”
Those four words suck the oxygen out of my lungs, I couldn’t respond even if I wanted to.
We sit in another silence, I think about the version of us that didn’t leave the cherry tree separately. The version that kept holding on.
Maybe there could be a version of us that comes back to the cherry tree and leaves together this time. That thought spurs me into action.
I stand and brush the grass off my pants. Y/n watches me with a confused expression.
I hold my hand out to her for the second time that evening.
“Dance with me under the cherry tree?”
She flushes as our friends quiet down. But she grips my hand and I pull her up towards me.
“Really?” She whispers.
“Where’s the music?” One of our friends asks and as we begin our slow dance a phone breaks out in a slow number. It makes y/n giggle.
“This is incredibly cheesy.”
“Just embrace it.” I tell her. “The last time we were here-“
“We don’t have to keep talking about it,” she looks up at me. “It was so long ago. We can’t change the past. We really were young and we just have to-“
“Y/n,” I cut her off. “We were young but our love was real.”
This leaves her speechless. She simply furrows her brows and blinks away whatever emotion it pulls forth. And with her arms locked tightly behind me and my arms on her waist, we continue to sway. A quiet yearning defying time and distance fills the space between us; even as I pull her flush against me and she buries her face in my neck.
“That’s more like it,” I can hear Abe say in the back with a whistle before everyone laughs and goes back to chattering.
“So,” y/n says softly after a while. “When I blew you off at the wedding you were going to say something.”
I hardly remember. I was going to say a lot and I was probably a few drinks in.
“I lied.” She continues. “I tried to forget about you. I held onto the anger so I wouldn’t hurt when I thought about you. Then I looked you up every once in a while expecting some musical thing attached to your name but I never did see anything—now I know why.”
“Yeah,” I chuckle.
“So you really stopped after we broke up?”
“Yes,” I say again. “I tried that summer but everything sounded like…like a donkey trying to sing. I gave up on it ever sounding good again.”
“That’s a shame Harry,” she says and I know she means it but I don’t want to focus on me.
“So you looked me up did you?”
“Don’t start on that,” she flushes. I drop it but not the smile on my face. She notices and buries her face into my shoulder.
We continue swaying to whatever song was queued on our friends’ phone. It feels like we’re all 17 again and staying up later than our parents would like. It felt like we were all young and free, not 20-somethings sitting around our married friends.
“I can’t believe we’re all back here again.” I comment.
“I know. Feels fake. Especially being back here, with you.”
“I hope this is alright?” I pause but y/n tightens her grip.
“It is. Y’know no matter how many people filled the space after you.” Y/n says. “It was never you.”
My breath catches. Was she saying-
“Incoming!” Someone shouts and before I can ask where the group erupts in chaos. People run every way I’m surprised nobody bumps heads.
“What!?” I say just as a flashlight beam cuts across my face. The police. “Oh fuck! Let’s go!”
I grab y/n’s hand and we run away from whatever authority was stalking towards us with flashlights.
It’s just like the old days.
“Harry!” I hear Thomas yell up ahead and I veer to the right towards it.
“Ow! Shit!” I hear y/n shout behind me before she releases my hand.
“What? What are you doing?!” I rush back to her.
She’s picking a rock out of her foot, behind her the lights grow closer.
“Those fucking heels!” I shout.
“Bad decision!” She tosses another pebble off her foot.
“No time! Get on!”
“What?” She freezes but I turn around and crouch, tugging her arms around me so she can get the hint. She loops her legs around my waist and even though I’m slowed down we somehow make it, laughing and stumbling, towards Thomas and Abe. They wave at us from just beyond the school ground and once we make it in the clear we head back to the venue and our parked cars.
“That was insane,” they gush.
“Felt like the golden years,” I grin.
“The fucking golden years,” they laugh.
“Okay designated drivers,” Michael says when he catches sight of us. “We have to get out of here.”
There’s a final round of bidding the newlyweds adieu and waving them off. I look for y/n once they blink out of sight.
“I came with Jamie,” she wraps her arms around herself.
I take my jacket off and drape it around her. I’m transported to doing the exact same thing after house parties because y/n would complain that a jacket would ruin her outfit and then walk home shivering.
“What if you go home with someone else?” I ask.
“You’ve got a car?”
“No,” I regret not driving myself now. “I came with one of the boys.”
“Shite.”
“Yeah…”
“Where are you staying?” She asks.
“Uhm…I came from my flat. Near Shoreditch.”
“Oh right.” She looks away. “You live in the city…right. I’m staying at my mum’s.”
“That’s not too far. My parents still live down the road from yours.”
“I know,” she smiles. “What if you dropped me home? And I invite you in?”
“Y/n,” I tug her closer. “What’s this you’re suggesting?”
“Staying?”
The sight of her, the feel of her, her scent and her perfect hand on my chest envelop me. I couldn’t say no; I was under her spell.
“That would turn this amazing evening into an amazing weekend.”
“And who knows what comes next,” she whispers as I lean the rest of the way. I want to kiss her.
“I want to kiss you.”
She doesn’t respond. She simply stretches up and presses her lips to mine. My heart collects itself and explodes in an explosion of slime.
She feels the exact same, tastes the same, but the confidence is new. It makes me dizzy. I want her even more.
“Get a fucking room!” Thomas says from behind. “Are you two gonna need a ride or planning on shagging in the bushes over there?”
I flip him off and finish the perfect kiss, using every bit of my willpower as y/n’s hand trails down my neck and back to my chest.
“Go on,” I say without even looking at my friends. “We’ve got an after after party.”
“Gross,” someone grumbles behind us.
“G’night!” Y/n shouts and with our chests heaving we break apart, grab hold of each other’s hands, and begin the walk to her house.
We walk in silence—our hands swinging between us tells you everything you need to know about how we were feeling.
At her front door y/n smiles up at me. It feels like deja vu, standing in her doorway with her looking at me like that. Knowing we were going to her bedroom just to get in bed. Time folds in on itself as I press a kiss to her lips.
“I’m so glad I couldn’t stay angry tonight,” she strokes my face. “I would’ve missed all this.”
“Me too,” I whisper. “I’m glad my mug’s so handsome it wore you down.”
She rolls her eyes but she’s smiling. “It wasn’t the mug. Although it is even more handsome than the last time I saw it.”
I kiss her, “Mmm then what was it that wore you down?”
“I dunno,” she sighs. “You? Us?”
Us.
“Whatever it was, I’ll make sure to write it a thank you note. Now why don’t you open that door because my hands are not going to stay PG for very long. And I’m pretty sure your mum’s got one of those camera doorbells.”
“Oh god,” she whips around and laughs before slapping a hand to her mouth. “Sorry mum!”
We stifle our laugh and step inside. Deja vu comes rushing at me again at the familiarity of her home.
As we sneak up to her room I think about what y/n said. It was true, even though she couldn’t pinpoint it. Despite how we felt at the beginning of the night it was always going to end this way. Something about us was always meant to come back to each other.
You. Us. Her.
It was always her.
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boba-beom · 10 months ago
Text
༊*·˚ nobody but you | KANG TAEHYUN
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ᰔᩚ pairing: bsf!!taehyun x gn!reader
ᰔᩚ genre: oneshot; bsf2l, fluff, suggestive
ᰔᩚ warnings: intimate, confession, physical affection, kisses, makeout, petname; sweetheart, reader plays hard to get(?), taehyun carries reader at the end (he's a strong boy <3)
ᰔᩚ wc: 1.1k
ᰔᩚ a/n: happy 22nd birthday to the my first love out of five, kang taehyun <3 I was in my feels when I wrote this so enjoy :') song that inspired me this time: double take - dhruv
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The crisp afternoon breeze tickles your lungs as you take a deep inhale before exhaling with a needed stretch. You make your way to the terrace of the airbnb that you and your best friend had booked for the weekend and you see him in his black sherpa fleece sitting in front by the glass panel.
"Hey, why didn't you wake me up? I overslept." You pull a chair and join him, scooting your seat close to him with no gap between.
"You looked too peaceful to wake up." He reasons.
The both of you are looking out at the empty beach, waiting for the waves to roll in until they fade out again, your arm linked with his but his hand rests by the inside of your wrist.
He begins skimming lazy strokes with his blunt fingernails up and down the inside of your wrist, gradually pushing up the hem of your sleeve for him to do so. The feather-like pressure only brought tingles up your forearm and to your shoulders, emitting a little shudder.
It was comfortable.
He continues his motions, as he hums a tune that's been stuck in his head, but you recognise it easily.
"I haven't head that song for ages." You speak up.
He hums. "Mhm, it's been two years since it came out. But it's timeless, I must say."
You nod slowly, smiling at his appreciation towards the artist and the song as he rests his chin on your shoulder, noticing the way the warmth of his breath fans across your exposed skin by your collar.
"You know," he starts, voice low by your ear, "I once learnt that other than your erogenous zones, the inside of your wrist up to the palm of your hand is just as sensitive."
"Mmh, makes sense why you like to do this. Who else do you do this to?" You tease, knowing that Taehyun would definitely tell you if there was someone in the picture, right?
"You know I don't do this to anyone else." He mumbles by your shoulder before placing a gentle kiss.
"You sure? What happened to that person you told me about awhile ago?"
"Silly, it's awhile ago because I'm no long interested in them." He finger quoted.
"So who are you interested in?" You turn to look at your best friend, faces only mere millimetres apart, waiting for his eyes to meet yours.
"You." He says, voice husky.
You retreat, sitting back as your face scrunches in disbelief, not entirely convinced that this beauty of a man chose you out of all the people he has been with.
All he does is huff out of amusement from your reaction. He's always loved that about you.
"You know you're the only one who I have eyes for, right?"
He kisses your shoulder again, this time his lips lingering and trailing up over the thin material of your long sleeved top until you felt his soft lips borderline crossing the neckline by the base of your neck.
"I beg to differ. You're bluffing, surely."
Taehyun grabs the side of your chair, swiftly turning it around so you're directly facing him, also shifting his chair to face you. He plants his hands on either side of the metal arm rests, leaning into you again, almost hovering, leaving a few centimetres between you.
"And if I kiss you, would that convince you?"
"I don't know, you could just be kissing anyone." You say nonchalantly paired with a shrug.
You've never felt so much attention on your lips, especially from Kang Taehyun himself. Only now you've seen him so focused on them, making the corner of your lips quirk up from the thought.
"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that otherwise I'd feel offended." He feigned a hurt tone.
You chuckle beneath him, and he melts at the sight of your smile that always caught him lacking.
"You have pretty lips, you know?" You say as you lift your hand to cup his cheek, moving your thumb so it brushes against his bottom lip.
"Yeah?"
Taehyun smirks at the gesture, sensing the playful tension now lost and replaced by something unnamed, something that is yet to be confirmed.
"I think you should kiss me if you think so." He whispers lowly, awaiting your response.
"I think I will." You say confidently, tugging at the collar of his fleece as you draw him closer to you.
As your eyes shut, the sensation of your lips colliding almost has you floating, both sighing into the kiss like you've waited for months on end. You bring your fingers up to mess with his hair, running through his wavy locks with the occasional gentle tugs.
He doesn't wait to rest a hand by the side of your neck and the other by your waist, squeezing the area for you to shift onto his lap without breaking the kiss. Your teeth clash from the movement, but they eventually mold together as you steady your arms over his shoulders.
The faint sound of the waves rolling onto the sand, clashing against some odd rocks on the beach is accompanied by the sound of both of your heavy breathing and Taehyun's gentle hums until he pulls away briefly.
"I like you. A lot. And only you." He says between chaste kisses. "God, it's always been you, sweetheart."
Just as you see the tips of his ears turning a blush pink under his brown locks, you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks. He was always so sweet to you, but this? Your knees felt like they buckled despite sitting comfortably in his lap.
"Really? I couldn't tell." Your playful smile returns to your lips as you continue to tease him, feeling the way he huffs again.
"I can show you then? If you want me to." His lips latches delicately on the skin of your neck, showering the area with lightly kisses that has your eyes shutting, focusing on the tingly sensation spreading like a wildfire.
You move your arms so they're hooked from under his arms, hand splayed and resting high on his shoulder blades, maintaining this closeness between your warm bodies. You experiment with a light scratch through his outerwear, yet you still manage to earn a low groan from him as you whisper in his ear.
"Please. I like you. I want you."
"Good. That was the only right answer." He chuckles lightly.
Catching you off-guard, he has one hand under your thighs and the other on your mid back as he stands, knocking back the chair with the back of his leg before carrying you back into your shared bedroom.
The bed unmade; pillows not by the headboard and half of the comforter hanging on the edge of the bed. But it was fine. You had a feeling Taehyun wouldn't mind a bit of a mess anyway — the mess not limited to just the bed itself.
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