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and-it-freezes-me · 3 years

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Little Red Lies - Chapter 1

Or, AUgust 2021 Day 10 - Fake Dating

{Next}

Words: 5,439

[Booked tckts yet? virge wants 2 check u still need 2 places 4 reception dinner]

Trash Rat 22:57

[cant w8 2 meet ur new ~date~]

Trash Rat 22:58

Roman stared at the messages for several long seconds, then groaned.

[Of course I booked tickets. Yes I still need the +1 seat.]

Roman 23:04

[cant believe u havent even sent a pic or yk a name]

Trash Rat 23:06

[no shame if ur still </3 ovr remy]

Trash Rat 23:06

[even tho its been 2 yrs now]

Trash Rat 23:07

[Of course I’m over remy. You’ll meet my boyfriend when we get there. He’s shy.]

Roman 23:07

Roman seriously considered throwing his phone across the room and booking a plane ticket to Alaska rather than Manhattan. That way, he wouldn’t have to go to his brother’s wedding and admit that he was most definitely single and most definitely not over his ex boyfriend (of seventeen months - two years was an unfair exaggeration).

[u kno virge h8s not knowing whos coming to his wedding right]

Trash Rat 23:10

[I know, I know, I’ll apologise as soon as we get there. He’ll be first to meet my bf, promise.]

Roman 23:11

[book ur fuckin plane tckts ro, I know u didnt do it yet]

Trash Rat 23:11

Roman threw his phone across the room.

It bounced off of his Heathers poster and landed on his desk, which was covered in scripts, textbooks, empty takeout containers, balled up bits of paper, crumpled drinks cans, and pens, and Roman buried his face in his pillow and groaned.

Ten months ago, Roman’s sister had flown down to Los Angeles, dragged Roman out of bed and announced that he was actually Roman’s brother. Almost sooner than Roman had been able to take this in stride, Virgil had added that he was marrying his boyfriend in December and would Roman mind being one of his groomsmen? While Roman was still reeling from the bombshell that was the fact that their gremlin of an elder brother Remus was Virgil’s best man, Virgil had leaned forward and asked if Roman was doing alright because he couldn’t help but notice that his dorm room resembled ‘the result of an explosive going off in a pigsty’.

Roman had blinked dumbly at him, nodded, and then started pressing for details about Virgil’s wedding. Eventually, his brother had promised that he’d get Patton, his fiance, to call Roman to discuss every detail, from location to napkin frills, and Roman felt that he had managed to avoid the topic of how he was doing.

When he and Remy had first broken up, midway through last July, Roman had gone to pieces. He had spent the end of the summer holiday between his first and second years locked in his room and listening to the same few songs on loop until Virgil, who was three years older and had been packing his things to move into his new apartment, had put his fist through the wall between their rooms. Then Roman had put his headphones on. It wasn’t Virgil’s fault that he was too uncivilised to appreciate the wonders of ‘Michael In The Bathroom’, ‘Someone You Loved’, or ‘Impossible’, after all.

Then Roman had gone back to university, where he had tried to drown himself in reading for his degree, and instead ended up sleeping through lectures after all-night crying sessions. He had tried to submerge himself in his essays and instead ended up daydreaming about his ex-boyfriend in study sessions. He had tried to get involved in theatre productions, but every audition had gone sour, and he often ended up thinking about the few times he and Remy had met up over the previous year rather than learning his lines.

Everyone had said that long distance relationships would be hard, but Roman, the romantic fool that he was, had insisted that they could do it.

They couldn’t.

Eight months ago, nine months after the two of them had broken up, two months after Virgil had announced his wedding plans, Remus and his partner had flown into Los Angeles and tried to stage an intervention. This had involved Remus trying to seduce the campus security guard and almost getting reported to the police (Roman had always insisted that his mustache only made him look sketchy), followed by Janus sneaking past the pair of them and into the building. Remus had somehow managed to join him moments later, and the two of them had somehow made their way up to Roman’s floor without alerting anyone else of their presence.

Roman had been woken by a furious hammering at his bedroom door at a little after four in the morning, and had to wade through a mess of papers and laundry to find that the two of them had knocked on every single door on his corridor, unable to remember which was his. He had not been popular with his dormmates the next day.

Their intervention had involved sitting on Roman’s bed and sharing the leftover pizza that had been on Roman’s desk for the last three days, and telling him to wash the dirty clothes all over his floor. Then they had tried to persuade him to accompany them to a bar to hook him up with somebody, and Roman had quickly concluded that the pair was somewhat drunk.

He had vehemently refused, and when Janus had eventually rolled onto his back, dark hair dangling off the edge of the bed and onto the sticky patch of carpet that Roman had spilled soda on three weeks ago, he practically whined that Roman was being very difficult when all they were doing was trying to help him.

“Trying to help me? You’ve disturbed the people I live with at fuck-o’clock in the morning! I have class tomorrow!” Roman was sat at his desk chair, trying very hard to ignore the stack of textbooks he was supposed to have read and hadn’t.

Remus rested a hand on Janus’ hip to stop him from rolling off the bed, and raised a lazy eyebrow at him. “Cut the bullshit, little bro. We all know you haven’t been to class in… How long, Jan?”

“Two months, three weeks, and four days,” Janus sing-songed.

“How the fuck do you know that?” It sounded about right, anyway, and Roman had a feeling that if he denied it this would just take even longer. He spun around in his chair and picked up a pen from his desk. “It’s my business if I don’t go to class.”

“Called my sister. Jannie takes all your classes, you know…” There was the sound of shifting fabric, and when Roman glanced back, Janus was sitting up and tucked under Remus’ arm again, looking very much as though Remus had just placed him there.

“You’re right, Ro. It’s not my business if you’re not going to class.” One of Remus’ hands trailed slowly up and down Janus’ arm, so casually Roman could almost believe that his brother didn’t realise he was doing it. “But it is my business that my little brother isn’t taking care of himself anymore. You haven’t answered my calls since before winter break. You obviously haven’t been eating healthily - this pizza tastes like you fished it out of the garbage, by the way, and I would know - and you look as though you haven’t seen the sunlight since last July.”

The assessment wasn’t quite fair. Roman might have been skipping classes, but it wasn’t as though he had just been lying in his room and wasting away! “I went to the gym last week. And I auditioned for the musical in March. I’m fine, Remus! Can I go to bed now?”

“No! We’re going to a club!”

Janus had nodded enthusiastically at Remus’ words, then rested his head on his partner’s shoulder as Roman shook his head slowly. “I don’t want to go to a club. I want to go to bed. I have class tomorrow.”

“Nope.” Remus’ hand rose to tangle absently in Janus’ hair. “We’re going to a club, and you’re gonna find some hottie to fuck all the yearning for Remy right out of you. Then you’ll feel much better!”

“You’re pulling my ha-”

“Fuck no. We’re not doing that.” Roman pressed his palms into his eyes, then stood up and jerked his door open. “Can you go now?”

“Give me one good reason why you getting laid is a bad thing right now, Ro, and we’ll leave.” Roman had gotten as far as opening his mouth before Remus interrupted. “See? You can’t. You need to move on, man. Clinging to Remy is clearly unh-”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“-ealthy, and- What?”

Maybe it was because it was four in the morning. Maybe it was because Roman hadn’t been sleeping well anyway, and Remus had managed to step on the last of his fraying nerves. Maybe it was just because he wished it was true.

“I have a boyfriend,” Roman repeated, and felt a strange sense of satisfaction at the obvious shock on Janus’ usually impassive face. “Three months. Met just after term started. It’s pretty serious, actually.”

“Bullshit.” Remus looked half impressed.

Now it was irritation that flickered through Roman. Was it really so unbelievable that he could have found somebody else? “It’s not.”

“You fucked yet?”

“Remus…” There was a warning note in Janus’ voice, and Remus sighed.

“None of my business. Got it. Do we get to meet him?”

“He’s shy.”

“Which is another way of saying he doesn’t exist.”

“Asshole. It’s another way of saying that it’s four in the fucking morning and he’s asleep. You’ll meet him at the wedding, anyway - I’m going to ask him to be my plus one when Patton sends out the RSVP date.” The words had been out of his mouth before he had had time to regret them, and Roman had spent the last eight months trying to sidestep questions about his non-existent boyfriend.

He had later found out that Remus and Janus hadn’t really come down to see him. They had gone to Los Angeles to celebrate their two year wedding anniversary and decided they might drop in while in the area. (Just because they had eloped rather than holding a big party, Janus had commented idly, didn’t mean they couldn’t celebrate it).

But now it was December, and Roman was partner-less and running out of excuses. His lie had gotten out of control, and he had ended up asking Patton and Virgil to include his partner in the guest numbers. He had invented dates they had been on for his mother when she had asked, and he insisted that his boyfriend was shy and had practically no internet presence anyway, so knowing his name wouldn’t help anybody.

He could just say that the two of them had broken up and go home alone, of course.

But that would mean disrupting the meticulous wedding seating plan Virgil and Patton had been making for months.

Besides, Roman was fairly certain that nobody in his family really believed in his mystery boyfriend, and failure to produce one after months of insisting that they would meet… Well, he didn’t want to open himself to that sort of ridicule.

Of course, it didn’t look as though he had much choice.

He hadn’t managed to make many friends at college.

In his first year, Roman had spent a lot of time trying to keep on top of his schoolwork and working toward the various theatre productions the school had put on; all of his free time he had spent planning dates for when he and Remy finally visited one another, or else video calling his boyfriend. There simply hadn’t been time to make many friends during that.

His second year… Well, Remus had been right. He had spent most of his time in his room, eating junk food, watching sappy romance films, and missing Remy.

So far, he had spent his third year trying to bring his grades back up to something more respectable… And missing Remy.

He knew it was pathetic. It had been almost a year and a half since they had broken up, and he still missed being able to call someone to talk about nothing at all at two in the morning, missed planning extravagant dates, missed the feel of hands in his hair and lips on his.

At least his floor was cleaner than it had been last year. And he had eaten slightly less fast food this semester than the previous one.

Roman’s phone chimed again. With a frustrated groan, he made his way over to his desk.

[Looking forward to seeing you on Monday!!! <3 <3 <3 !!!]

Pops 23:25

Patton.

[Me too, Padre! I’ll bring some of that fudge from the shop you love!]

Roman 23:26

[eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <33333333 Can you get some of the currents+salt? Vee loved it last time + I want to surprise him]

Pops 23:26

[Will do. Looking forward to seeing you too!]

Roman 23:27

Patton would probably be the most understanding if Roman decided to come clean about his lying - but Patton was the worst secret keeper Roman had ever met. He and Virgil had been dating for almost three years, and in that time the thin voice actor had managed to spill every single plot twist in every single show he had watched or acted in. Roman had no doubt that Virgil would know that he was bringing home fudge within the next hour. If he admitted to Patton that he had been lying about having a date for the wedding, Roman would get Patton’s kind - if confused - reassurances, and half an hour later he would get the mixture of mockery and horrible pity that would come with the rest of his family finding out that he still wasn’t over Remy.

Roman let his phone slip through his fingers and land on his desk once more. Three days, and then he’d have to come clean - until then, he could just avoid thinking about it. Collecting the overflowing basket from the corner of the room (he had been putting off doing laundry for a while now), Roman left his room and headed toward the building’s basement laundry room. Term had finished last week and it was almost midnight - he doubted anybody would be down there now. Most people had probably already gone home, or were making the most of the free time to go out rather than spend it doing chores.

The light was off in the basement when he got there, so Roman left it that way as he loaded his clothing into one of the machines.

Moving around in the dark was far more of a Virgil move than a Roman one, but he couldn’t help himself. There was something comforting about the-

“Sweet fucking Shakespeare!” Roman’s hand flew up to cover his eyes as light burst through the small room, quickly followed by the strong smell of coffee.

“Sorry! I was unaware that there would be anybody in here.” As Roman dropped his hand, blinking owlishly in the sudden light, the newcomer made his way over to the machine on the far side of the room from him. “Most people prefer not to fumble around in the dark.”

Remus or Remy would have made some comment about how fumbling around in the dark could be quite fun really. Roman just shrugged. “It’s been a long day.”

He had expected the other man to say something; instead, silence fell over the room, broken only by the sound of the powder tray being opened, filled, and closed again.

Roman didn’t mean to stare, but he couldn’t help it. He had seen the person in the room next to him only twice so far this term, and only knew his name because the mailroom was organised by room number rather than alphabetically, and the name Roman Prince was right next to Logan Ursa.

Logan looked more tired than he had on either of the other times Roman had seen him. There were deep bags under his eyes, the shadows almost deeper than Virgil’s had been at the height of his eyeliner experiments, and the black ponytail that hung halfway to his waist was missing, replaced with what could only be described as a thicket of tangled hair. It looked as though he had been outside even less than Roman had in the past few months: his skin was so pale it seemed to glow under the fluorescent laundry-room lights. There was a steaming mug and a thick book on the lid of the machine beside him, and Roman had the strong feeling that it wasn’t the first coffee Logan had had that evening.

The washing machine Logan had been loading began to rumble, and as the other student straightened up and picked up his book, Roman made himself duck back down to finish his own task.

He’d have to come back to collect his clothing later - Roman suddenly regretted deciding to get this done now, when it meant he would have to return at almost two in the morning, but there wasn’t much he could do about it now.

“Do you want me to leave the light on?” He was more trying to make conversation than anything else: Logan was perched on one of the machines in the corner, nose already buried in what Roman could now see was a heavy medical textbook.

“Obviously.”

Yeah, he probably should have guessed that.

Logan was still in the laundry room when Roman returned to collect his clothing two hours later. He was still sat on the same machine, although now he was speaking into his phone in what sounded like rapid Italian. (It definitely wasn’t Spanish: Roman was almost fluent in Spanish). (The languages were similar, but although he could guess at a few words, he had no idea what was going on). (Not that he was eavesdropping, of course). Logan’s hair was even messier than it had been before, and out of the corner of his eye Roman caught him jerking his free hand through it once or twice.

Roman pulled his now-warm and dry clothing from the machine and dumped it into his laundry basket, doing his best to ignore the way Logan was practically shouting behind him, but couldn’t stop himself from startling at the wordless, frustrated yell that came from the taller man a few minutes later. He was halfway to the door, but paused and glanced at Logan, who was stuffing his phone angrily into the oversized hoodie he was wearing.

“Everything okay over there?”

“Family stuff,” came the snappish response. Roman watched for a few seconds as Logan knelt in front of his own machine and began jerking clothing from it, folding pants as though he wished he were ripping them to pieces instead, then throwing several dark shirts over his shoulder and stalking over to one of the ironing stations.

“Pretty loud family stuff,” Roman commented, then wondered why he was bothering. It had been clear from his first meeting with Logan that the other student wasn’t there to make friends: Roman had been carrying a large cardboard box into his room the day he had moved in, and bumped into him in the hallway. Logan had looked him up and down, said something like, “Keep the volume down. I’m here to work,” and marched past him as though Roman were no more interesting than a hat stand.

Sure enough, Logan didn’t turn to face him, instead ironing a shirt in a manner that strongly hinted that he wanted to make it beg for mercy. “None of your business family stuff.”

“Are you-”

“None. Of your. Business.” This time, Logan actually did glance over his shoulder, and fixed Roman with a scowl that suggested that if he didn’t drop it, his face was going to be the next thing under the iron.

Roman left quickly. He had done his best to be friendly, and if Logan wasn’t interested, that was his problem. He didn’t seem like the sort of person Roman would really want to be friends with anyway.

Logan’s haggard expression lingered in his mind as he made his way back up to his dorm room and began stuffing his now-clean clothes into his wardrobe. He should probably start packing - his suitcase was sitting open and empty against one wall - but he had plenty of time.

Besides, he was exhausted.

Roman had changed into a pair of sweatpants and gotten into bed by the time he heard the door to the room next to his slam shut. Clearly, Logan was still annoyed by whatever ‘family stuff’ had had him first yelling into his phone and then taking his frustration out on his laundry and somebody trying to be friendly.

How long could Logan hold a grudge? Was he the kind of person who would calm down after a couple of hours of sleep, or would whatever he had been arguing about be hanging over him for the next week or so? That would make the winter break uncomfortable…

Or maybe he wasn’t going home. He had looked pretty invested in the textbook he had been studying earlier, despite it being almost midnight and no longer termtime. Maybe Logan was going to stay in the dorms over the winter break and use the hours without lectures for private study.

That sounded like a lonely way to spend the next three weeks.

The idea struck Roman suddenly, and he sat bolt upright in bed, the kind of elation that only comes with golden inspiration coursing through him. He would persuade Logan to come back home with him for the holidays! If Janus took it to mind to ask Janine about him, she’d be able to verify that Logan didn’t socialise much; all he would have to do would be show up briefly for the wedding, and he could spend the remainder of the holiday studying all he wanted, away from ‘family stuff’!

He would ask Logan the following morning, and when he agreed, Roman would book the plane tickets home - he’d pay, of course. Or rather, he’d use the money his mother had sent him so that he could bring his fictional boyfriend home. Either way, Logan wouldn’t have to spend any money himself!

Laying back down, Roman pulled his thin blanket back up to his neck and rolled onto his side, satisfaction warming him more thoroughly than any hot drink could.

This was the best idea he’d ever had.

“That is the worst idea I have ever heard.” Logan glanced into the hallway over Roman’s shoulder as though expecting an audience for a practical joke. “I cannot believe you have wasted my time listening to you.”

“Is… That a maybe?” Roman tilted his head and gave Logan his best puppy eyes.

Alas, Logan’s heart must have been made of stone. “No.” He made to slam the door.

Well, Roman couldn’t have that. It had been difficult enough to get Logan to even open the door in the first place, and harder still to get him to listen beyond the initial “I need you to do me a huge favour, okay, but it works out for you too.” In hindsight, maybe he shouldn’t have led with that. But then he had explained, and for some reason Logan was still trying to close the door on him.

“Ow!”

“That was entirely your fault.”

“You just slammed the door on my foot!”

“You did put your foot there after I had begun closing the door. My point stands.”

Technically, Logan was correct, but Roman wasn’t there to quibble over technicalities. “You got the part where I’d pay for your flights, right? All you have to do is show up for one day in something resembling formalwear, and in return you get rent free accommodation and food all holiday! Plus company!”

“I have too much to do to pretend to be your boyfriend for three weeks for no reason. Find somebody else.” Logan made to close the door again, and this time Roman caught it with his hand.

“There is nobody else!” Roman was aware that he was beginning to sound desperate. “You’re like, the only person I know!”

“That sounds like your personal problem, not mine.” Several strands of hair had fallen from the impressive tangle around Logan’s ears and into his face, and he blew them out of the way. His breath smelled like coffee - bitter coffee. Roman wrinkled his nose. “Let go of my door.”

“Come on, Logan! What else are you going to be doing this holiday?”

“Studying! I have exams to pass!”

“You can study at my place. You won’t have to pay holiday rent there!”

“I won’t have to pay holiday rent if I go to my mom’s place, either! Let go of my door!”

Roman finally pulled his aching foot out of the way, but didn’t remove his hand from the wood. “You don’t want to go back to your mom’s place, though, do you? The phonecall -”

The glare that Logan sent him could have frozen the insides of a volcano, and his voice was suddenly cold enough to make Roman shiver. “Good day, Roman.” This time, Roman jerked his hand out of the way, and the door snapped shut in his face.

Shit. Maybe he shouldn’t have tried to use Logan’s ‘family stuff’ against him. He made a note of that for future reference, then hammered against the door again.

“Please, Logan!”

Silence.

“I’ll be forever in your debt!”

More silence. Maybe Logan would prefer something a little more extravagant?

“I’ll sing of your virtues from the rooftop every night for the rest of the year!”

Nothing.

Okay, maybe that had been a little much. Logan had made it clear that he was there to work and didn’t want to be disturbed in his caffeine fueled study crusades, so something excessive was possibly the wrong way to persuade him to do this.

Oh-

“I’ll pay for your coffee for the rest of the year?”

Roman held his breath and waited.

And waited.

Just when he thought that he had been wrong and that Logan really wasn’t going to be persuaded, the door opened the tiniest of amounts. Logan was still frowning at him, but some of the ice was gone from his expression.

“That’s your dealbreaker? Coffee?”

“I drink a lot of coffee.” A slight deepening in the crease between Logan’s eyes told Roman not to push the subject. “You need a date to a wedding. In return, you pay for my flight there and back, provide accommodation for the duration of the winter vacation, and keep me supplied with coffee for the rest of the year.”

“Well, a wedding, the reception, any pre-wedding parties, and keeping up the act while we’re around other people,” Roman corrected, counting on his fingers. From the irritated twitch of Logan’s left eye, he got the feeling that he hadn’t mentioned the reception or the potential stag night in his initial pitch.

“Blue Moon or Red Planet.”

“What?”

“The coffee. I like Blue Moon or Red Planet coffee. They’re more expensive, so I don’t expect them every time - maybe a ratio of three regular jars to one nice jar.”

Roman blinked. “Uh… Okay.”

Logan nodded once. More hair fell over his eyes. “I’ll draw up a schedule and provide you with estimated projections of my coffee habits for the rest of the year so you can budget accordingly. When do we leave?”

“Um… Monday.” Still reeling from Logan’s sudden and complete 180, Roman cast around for something to say, but the long haired man got there first.

“Monday. That gives us approximately two and a half days to draw boundaries and fabricate enough pictures and stories to give our deceit credibility.” Logan closed his eyes, and Roman realised that he was staring again. He hadn’t expected the other to take this in stride so quickly. “Given that I have work to finish today and you will likely need several hours on Sunday evening to pack… Have you told your family how long we have been romantically involved?”

“Uh, since January. But I told them you were shy, so we don’t have to have any pictures or anything - we can say that all our dates were just pizza and Netflix, and…” He tailed off at the incredulous look on Logan’s face. “What?”

“You expect them to believe that we have been dating for eleven months and you haven’t taken a single photo? Roman, I have listened to you belting the lyrics of more break-up songs than I care to count.” Roman shrugged, and Logan rolled his eyes. “You are quite clearly a romantic. Had we really been dating, the number of pictures you would have taken on whatever extravagance you planned for our six-month anniversary alone would be infinitesimal.”

He had a point.

Roman had already stretched his family’s belief in him to breaking point (and probably well past it) by refusing to share even the smallest thing about his ‘boyfriend’ over the past eleven months; if he didn’t get home on Monday with at least a couple of dozen photos to share, their charade would be over before it could ever really begin. “Right. You’re right. We’ll need to spend the weekend planning, doing a photoshoot - it’ll be fun!”

“You,” Logan started, already retreating, “obviously have a different definition of that word than I do. Eight thirty tomorrow morning, The Roost. Bring a notepad, your phone, and a couple of changes of clothing suitable for various weather conditions.”

“Eight thirty? A prince needs his beauty-”

“Eight thirty. We are going to do this properly.”

Roman’s phone was in his hand barely seconds after Logan’s door had closed (albeit more gently than before).

Groupchat: Princes and Co.

[Can’t wait for you to meet logan!]

Roman 09:58

[a name!!!!!!!!!!]

Trash Rat 09:59

[we have a name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Trash Rat 09:59

[such a nice name! can’t wait either, ro!]

Pops 10:01

[About time! I’ve been stalling on the place settings for weeks waiting for this name]

Emo Nightmare 10:02

[Was about to fly out to LA to strangle it out of you]

Emo Nightmare 10:04

[he was. i had to physically restrain him from doing so yesterday]

Padre 10:04

[bet u both enjoyed that ;);););););)]

Trash Rat 10:04

Several people are typing…

[Suck a dick, Remus]

Emo Nightmare 10:05

[we did, actually]

Pops 10:05

[would but janjans at work :((]

Trash Rat 10:06

[Didn’t want to know, didn’t need to know.]

Roman 10:06

[Pat!]

Emo Nightmare 10:06

[Logan Ursa??? 4th yr medic??? Coffee addict???]

Snake Eyes 10:06

Roman stared at his phone for a second. That was faster than he had expected.

[u knew????? jan u held out on me??? the luv of ur greyspec life???]

Trash Rat 10:07

[You told Janus?! I’m your brother! He’s not even related to you!]

Emo Nightmare 10:07

[No I didn’t tell Janus!]

Roman 10:07

[I’m omniscient.]

Snake Eyes 10:08

[Plus I just asked Jannie for a list of all the Logans you could have associated with.]

Snake Eyes 10:09

[You and your sister scare me]

Roman 10:11

[He has surprisingly little internet presence.]

Snake Eyes 10:11

[Told you. He’s shy]

Roman 10:12

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, Roman returned to his room and picked up his laptop, this time to actually book the tickets he was supposed to have booked weeks ago. He had no doubt that they would arrive on Monday to discover that his family had already unearthed everything there was to know about his fake boyfriend - should he break that news to Logan before or after they were on the plane? Making the man paranoid might make their weekend photoshoot a lot more difficult.

Their photoshoot! If Logan was really on board, Roman would have to make this as easy as possible for him - and the performance of a lifetime for himself. Given that he was expected to bring a notebook to their meeting tomorrow, they were going to have to do a lot of brainstorming, so he might as well start coming up with ideas now. He already had a few as he grabbed a notepad from the mess on the floor and started hunting for a pencil.

No matter what his fake date said, this weekend was going to be a lot of fun.

#AUgust 2021 #fake dating au #logince #moxiety #dukeceit

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bulletproofscales · 4 years

Text

the realest of selves

this is the namkook fic i told yall i was working on, the birthday friend already recived it so i thougth id post it! its not feederism and its very fluffy. hope you enjoy!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28723872/chapters/70426767

9/9 chapters 6.4 words

tags: established relationship, misunderstandings, fluff, happy ending

the one where jungkook falls in love again through namjoon’s poems, without knowing its him

Moma Muji.

That's the brand of the notebook Jungkook has in his hands… or, hand actually. It's rather small.

Must be passport sized.

He doesn’t own one of these.

He fumbles with it curiously. No, Jungkook doesn’t pick random objects he finds laying around; his mother raised him right.

But this wasn’t just any random object, this notebook had been left abandoned at Jungkook’s favorite desk in the college library. Specifically perfect because nobody used it: desk free of bumps from the scribbles or from people who wrote with too much force, minimal amount of gum stuck beneath it (He aspired for zero, but his dreams had been crushed pretty early on to his college life). The positioning was perfect too, far enough that the library’s wifi didn’t reach it, which was practically useless with the amount of work covered students plaguing the place constantly; but if he needed too, he could connect to the wifi from the classrooms nearby (And Jungkook went to the library at night time so… no classes happening at all)

It's the perfect desk and if something was left forgotten here, then it means it isn’t his anymore.

Which means he has the right to investigate.

The ragged, leather like texture feels expensive against his fingers. If he had to name the color, it would be a slightly darker version of a persian green; it's pretty. Jungkook can’t imagine someone using this for any academic purposes, given the size. He keeps playing around with it in his hands, hesitant.

It is one thing to pick up a stranger’s notebook on the desk, but to open it? It's a completely different violation of privacy. And he said it before: his mother raised him right.

Muji is an artsy brand right? These types of stationary notebooks probably have an information slot where he can find information; a name at least. Something to make hipsters who buy Muji, feel like their notebook is more special and personalized.

If he wants to find the owner he has to open it, doesn’t he?

No. Jungkook could simply deliver it to the librarian and let the owner look for it themselves.

Curiosity is killing him, though. To the point he was already opening the notebook even before he finished that thought. Eyes wide and fingers eager as he leans forward to find what he is looking for.

This notebook belongs to:

the Real Me

Oh.

Oh fuck.

This person is more hipster than Jungkook had even prepared himself to.

That tells him… absolutely nothing.

Hope you’re happy, Jungkook thinks to himself, directing it to the random hipster stranger.

As spiteful as he is of this infuriating halt that was brought to his detective adventure, he has to admit, the vulnerability of the stranger’s answer did absolutely nothing to calm his curiosity.

There's a few moments of quiet, just Jungkook and the first page staring at one another, as if daring him to look further, to sink deeper into the real authentic version of someone he has never even met.

I promise I won’t judge. He thinks apologetically as he flips the page.

In the blood you shed in the winter i was born red

Plum blossom in the snow:

Camellia,

Daffodil

Yeah, yeah, you can call me whatever you want

Listen up, winter you’ve bloomed me

Now I’m going to burn my branches blue

06/01/20

He gasps, as if Jeongguk had been holding his breath the entire time while reading it.

Moma Muji, passport size.

He looked it up when he got back to his dorm. It is in fact passport sized, the same exact measurements as a passport: 4.92 x 3.36 inches. How funny is that?

Jungkook had intended to continue reading in the library. But after...that, a feeling took over him that he was opening in a place far too public for the realest self of the (apparently) poet.

A poet…

There's a dreamy sigh that leaves his lips.

Anyways! The point is he took the notebook to his dorm and is now preparing himself to read more of it; from the safety of the locked door.

I’m real good, but a little uncomfortable

I’m still not sure if I’m a dog or a pig or what else

But then other people put a pearl necklace on me

So much blabbering

One says ‘run’ another says ‘stop’

This one says `look at the forest`

That one says ‘look at the wildflower’

My shadow, I wrote and called it ‘hesitation’

So they really are a poet.

In the back of Jungkook’s head he had expected for that first one to just be a silly quote this person added to the beginning of their notebook; maybe from a song from a band that they brag about listening to before it was popular.

But it's not…. this person is a poet…

This person is a romantic . The thought comes with a warmth that spreads across his cheeks.

It's obvious, these are romance poems. The first one, speaking about falling in love in the winter, about how delicate the poet’s significant other makes them feel; as delicate as these winter blooming flowers, comparing himself to a plant that burns under their love even during the winter. Love is getting them through the cold.

The second poem, however, is a lot less optimistic. Clearly the poet is battling their own feelings of inadequacy with the flattering words of their partner. They think of themself as a pig or a dog while they’re being treated with love. Different directions and orders are being directed to the poet are the contradicting opinions of themself: the ones they hear of their own and the ones from their partner.

So they’re probably in a relationship , he thinks with a little apprehension.

Not that it matters to Jungkook what this literal stranger is doing with their romantic life. He has to remind himself that, given that just the two poems had been able to give Jungkook a sensation of… odd familiarity; as if he knows this person already. It seemed as if with those poems he had gotten a glimpse of the poet’s two sides.

Obviously, the poems already showed two sides regarding the theme of love: safety and doubt. But aside from that, Jungkook couldn’t help but notice the difference in the way of expressing these sides: while the first poem was melodic and metaphorical, the second one held a language that sounded just a lot more accessible and down to earth.

This person must have thought about this relationship a lot.

It doesn’t matter, and it most certainly doesn’t affect him; so Jungkook shuts the notebook closed. He’ll just go about his day.

Moma Muji, passport size, 4.92 x 3.36 inches.

Why does Jungkook remember the exact size?

Hell, why is he thinking about that notebook at all?!

Jungkook had rushed out, stumbling into his running shoes and beanie. Joonie had invited him to go out for a run even though they’re well into winter. And Jungkook… he is smitten enough to say yes.

But, nobody can blame him. He always has so much fun when he is with Namjoon… Or well, he tends to have fun, when his mind isn’t keeping him distracted with useless things!

Useless things like the way Namjoon’s route goes by a huge Camellia bush.

Yeah yeah call me whatever you want

Would Joon like it if he called him Camellia? Would his branches burn blue with love?

“Jungkook-ah, you’ll trip if you keep running that deep into your head, baby.” His endeared tone calls him out of the deep trance. His voice is a little breathless from running, he does so effortlessly while talking after years of taking this same route. The youngest has to shake his head a little bit, for a moment, Namjoon’s voice still sounded a little bit far away.

“You look like you saw a ghost, whats up?” For some reason, his boyfriend’s obliviousness only leads Jungkook to one conclusion: Namjoon hasn’t noticed the Camellia bush.

Of course he hasn’t, why would he?

Jungkook… Can’t ignore the sour disappointment in his tongue.

…

Odd.

They’ve stopped running now.

You still have to answer something, Jungkook.

“Oh.. I was just-..” He cuts himself off. Doing what? Judging Namjoon for not meeting the standards of a random poet?

“Those flowers are pretty.” Jungkook finds his voice a little softer, gesturing to the bush a little bit behind him; still at arms reach. He can’t help but sound shy, the answer he came with on the spot was… rather silly.

But, at least it was true , he thinks as his eyes linger over the gorgeous splashes of pink.

Namjoon’s expression is startled for a second, before melting into tooth rotting fondness. “You like Camellias?” Jungkook can feel the older’s eyes on him, tender and loving; before his hand is reaching tenderly for the bush.

He can’t lie, Jungkook is a little hypnotized by the way Namjoon’s knuckles look caressing the flower carefully. “So, do you?” The young hadn’t realized he had forgotten to breathe at the sight, Namjoon’s voice grounding him yet again from his wandering thoughts.

His nod comes hurriedly, thank god Namjoon is used to his spacing out; his chuckles help Jungkook’s shoulders sag down relaxed. He hadn’t even realized he had tensed them in the first place. “They only bloom in the winter… Feels special.” A shy smile grows on his face as he eyes up at Namjoon; he is already staring at the younger with a soft look.

“Who would have guessed you knew about flowers.” There's something gently amused about his tone, playful and flirty. It still makes Jungkook feel exposed.

He doesn’t know about flowers. He just looked up the flowers on his way from the library. But of course Namjoon would pick up on it, his boyfriend has been into botany since before they even started dating.

Meanwhile Jungkook… has no excuse. He tries to hide it in his face. “Only after spending so much time with you! ”He exclaims softly, nudging his shoulder against his boyfriend’s. Jungkook hadn’t realized they were so close, his hand goes to meet Namjoon’s where it's cradling the flower. “Do you have one of these?” His voice comes out quietly, too caught up admiring the sight of their big hands holding the almost hyperbolically delicate flower.

Do you imagine the poet cares for Camellias and Daffodils?

Namjoon chuckles softly, for some reason, it feels like he is reading Jungkook’s thoughts. “No, they’re a little too hard to maintain just for a pretty flower that comes once a year.”

Oh… He can’t help his disheartened reaction.

“Hey, don’t look so disappointed.” Jungkook’s eyes snap from where they were stranded on the flower, Namjoon’s hand isn’t there anymore; but he can distinctively feel a hand gingerly tucking a strand of hair into Jungkook’s beanie. Handling the younger in a similar fashion than he did the flower. “We can come take care of this one every once in a while; I’m sure I got some ericaceous fertilizer saved up.” His eyes meet Namjoon, smiling tenderly.

Jungkook can feel his chest tighten in affection. A grin spreads across his face. “This is just an excuse for you to take me in more runs with you, isn’t it?” He can barely hold his accusing laugh, launching forward to press his fists to Namjoon’s chest; it earns a roll of his eyes, but Jungkook can the tremble of a laugh under his hands.

“Can’t even start a nice project with your boyfriend anymore. Romance is so dead.” His attempts for sound annoyed are laughable. And the answer only makes it more obvious what Namjoon’s intentions truly were.

Romance can’t be dead, though. Not as long as that Moma Muji, passport sized, 4.92 x 3.36 inch notebook is sitting in his dorm.

He feels guilt as he side eyes the notebook laying on his bedside table. Especially with the feeling of Namjoon’s plush lips lingering on his cheek from when he just dropped Jungkook by his room.

Especially when that persian green cover is a mocking reminder of the Camellia bush they encountered; reminding Jungkook that the flower mentioned in the poem has no relation to Jungkook’s life outside from the confines of that green leather cover.

Reminding Jungkook of how… oddly disappointed he is by that fact.

He plops heavily on his bed, arm reaching for his bedside table. When he grips the notebook and opens it, he does it spitefully.

I wanted to have the sea so I swallowed it up

But I’m even thirstier than before

Is what I know really an ocean?

Or a blue dessert?

Maybe it's the soothing feeling of his stomach full from the food he had with Namjoon after his run.

Maybe it's the dark outside his window, allowing his thoughts to think of someone, somewhere, who can’t have enough of their lover.

He doesn’t know… But he manages to fall asleep.

Moma Muji, passport size, 4.92 x 3.36 inches, persian green cover.

The guilt follows him like a shadow.

Damn, he is even thinking in poems now.

He can't help it! He can’t help the way that, despite Namjoon giving him everything, he still longs for a romance like the one in the poems. Everyday, Jungkook sinks a little deeper into the vulnerable self of the poet; his heart fluttering at their verses while simultaneously expecting Namjoon to keep up with him. Keep up with his sensitive tugging of his heartstring that his boyfriend doesn't seem to be syncing to.

In fact, Namjoon seems to be more weary of Jungkook’s attempts at romance. Acknowledging them for sure and just, he isn’t de--escalating his gestures… But… he seems weary of them.

We need the scenery of the night more than anyone

You are the only one, that comforts me more than anything

Thinking “don’t think” it's a thought on itself, you know?

With your falling eyes I look at the night sky again

We are each other's night view

We are each other's moon

The poet said, and Jungkook thought while standing on the balcony of Namjoon’s apartment. The both of them are way too under-dressed for the weather; clouds looking menacing above them; hunched over the railing shoulders pressed together.

It's calm, however, Jungkook feels like his heart will beat out of his chest. Too many words, too many emotions that he can feel bottling up in chest; threatening to spill in a way that he fears is quite too vulnerable to present to Namjoon.

“I really need moments like these.” It feels as if with the help of the poet,Jungkook was able to really grow more comfortable voicing out his thoughts like these. A fear he had to explain to Namjoon when they first started dating, nervously reassured him that he did want a relationship; despite his lack of enthusiasm.

He was so embarrassed back then… Still dealing with the aftermath of a self-homophobic past.

“What about them?” He can feel Namjoon side-eyeing him with a smile.

Of course he doesn’t get it.

That’s something else Jungkook has been losing his grip of: the snarky comments that come out of Namjoon's… inadequacy? He shouldn’t even be calling it that, not when Namjoon has given him everything. It's just, lately, the more Jungkook grows in his romantic acts and words, the more it seems Namjoon is just… playing dumb.

He isn’t picking up any of his signals.

It's getting frustrating.

It's like Namjoon is just backing down when things were starting to get serious for them.

And that fucking hurts.

“Nothing, forget it.” He mumbles eyes still strained on the city infront of them. “It's getting late anyways, I should probably head back.” He can’t hide the distance in his voice. They had agreed Jungkook was staying over, and it's obvious how that objection hangs off Namjoon's tongue as he stares a little widened. Jungkook answers before he can speak. “I have early class tomorrow, it's better if I go from my dorm.”

Somehow, the disappointment grows on his boyfriend’s face more at that. “Oh…” Jungkook fights the urge to kiss the pout off his pouting lips. “Yeah you’re right it would just be… inconvenient to stay here.”

When Jungkook leaves, he feels a heaviness in his chest. But he chooses to ignore it.

Moma Muji, passport size, 4.92 x 3.36 inches, persian green cover, 24 pages.

24 of them, ruled, though only 16 are being used. Jungkook knows because he counted them, even if he hasn’t gotten to read everything he skimmed through the pages in a weak attempt to distract his mind. The unnecessary but easy counting of the pages, most of them double-sided in their use, except for the last one (They must have gotten tired of the ink bleeding through the pages, Jungkook asumes), helps keep his mind off last night.

Not that he has anything he needs distraction from. He is fine.

Him and Namjoon are fine .

No big fight occurred, no insensitive one sided fallout, no revolutionary discovery. But why does Jungkook feel so… off?

So neglected, so scammed, so robbed of a romance he could be having but doesn’t have. That Namjoon doesn’t let him have.

Jungkook always does this, he always feels so intensely, always too needy and too ready to fall in love. At a speed and intensity that doesn’t match others. He had revealed so much of himself to Namjoon, had been so open about his devotion, his complete and thorough adoration; and he convinced himself to believe Namjoon was okay with his arduous loving.

But if Jungkook took a second to think about it, he had been a fool to think that. Namjoon, his Namjoon is a philosopher by default, a thinker, he dissects, and recognizes, and categorizes, and doubts . Namjoon has so many doubts. About everything really, so perceptive of his surroundings he theorizes about things that aren't his business, except they are because Namjoon has an interest for every little thing in this world.

And it's as enamouring, as it is deadly.

Namjoon questions, questions himself, his intentions, his moral, his relationships, his worthiness .

It’s been four years.

But it's never too late for Namjoon to have second doubts. Even when Jungkook is sinked… so, so deep..

Maybe they aren’t meant to b-

Maybe Jungkook should read a poem.

Parting is to me, a tear that blooms unknowingly in my eyes

All the things we couldn’t say flow out

And lingering feelings crawl up my face

Parting is the reward that comes only at the end

Of my play of lies

It feels like hours as Jungkook stares at it, entranced. Only when he sees a teardrop make the ink bleed and smudge, is when he is snapped out of it.

He sets the notebook down in his night stand. Jungkook doesn’t feel like reading anymore of it, the knot on his chest only tightened by the unhelpful words of the poem.

He read enough .

Jungkook curls to his side dejected, as if offended at the poet and his own relationship problems.

Maybe romance is dead after all.

He feels his shoulders tremble in what's a sob shaking its way out of his lungs. Is he really going to give up Namjoon? Just for a romance that clearly isn’t as perfect as he thought it was?

He can’t.

Moma Muji, passport size, 4.92 x 3.36 inches, persian green cover, 24 pages, ruled, only 16 used.

That's what he thinks when his hand reaches for the notebook almost in a hurry. Jungkook had run back from that dreadful early class, he was barely able to concentrate, a plan forming in his head just as he was about to go to sleep dejected and sad. It kept him all night from the nerves of it all. He has to make things right, and the lack of sleep didn’t stop his adrenaline as it made his mind wander even with the professor explaining in front of him.

The point is Jungkook has the notebook and is desperately running to Namjoon’s apartment.

Guess all those winter runs served some purpose at least.

Maybe he is being stupid for running in negative number weather in clothes that were apropriate for his ac-heated classroom. But fuck it.

Romance is alive, and Jungkook is the breathing, sprinting, embodiment of it.

When he reaches Namjoon’s apartment, his throat feels like it has shards of ice poking at it with every deep swallow of air, the skin across his cheeks and nose sporting a blush from the cold and knife-like wind across his face running here. His hair is a mess, there’s definitely sweat stains under his arms, and he most definitely looks insane.

He also kinda forgot to tell Namjoon he was coming over, he knows his boyfriend’s schedules and routines so he should be home right now. He always has friday morning’s off. So he doesn’t bother letting Namjoon know, rather fumbling with his shaky, numb fingers to reach for the spare key. The ends of his hands are also red from the cold, tingling and making his movements clumsy.

But he manages to put the key into the whole regardless. And feeling quite proud of himself and with adrenaline still pumping through his veins, he opens the door.

Namjoon is standing near the door, hunched over halfway through putting on his shoes, looking up surprised. It seems as if adrenaline was only willing to get him this far, as it leaves Jungkook’s body completely.

“Babe…” Namjoon’s voice is cutely stunned, with his eyes widened and plump lips adorably parted with a mouth that stays ajar. “What are you doing here?”

“Where were you going?” Jungkook asks instead of answering. His voice is embarrassingly small for someone who took a 35 minute run without an ounce of doubt. Maybe he's just out of breath.

Oh god, Namjoon was leaving, he has stuff to do Jungkook came at a bad time, he is probably over exaggerating and took all of this way out of proportion and Namjoon didn’t even think anything was wrong at all and he is just making a big scene for nothing being the big, needy baby that he is; bothering Namjoon with his useless emotions-

“Your dorm.” He replies so simply, like sinceirty costs him nothing when it's to Jungkook. “I asked first though.” And his tone isn't accusatory as it is teasing.

Namjoon doesn’t specify, but something inside him wants to believe the older was on his way to do the same as Jungkook.

“I...I wanted to tell you something?” He can’t help but sound doubtful. Even when he knows Namjoon is on his way to see him, even when his eyes are soft enough to melt the shard of ice growing on Jungkook's throat; he can’t seem to recognize if it's from the run or the anxiety. “It's kinda silly, though.” He can’t help but coax that out as well. from the outside one would consider Jungkook is belittling his feelings, yet belittling it makes it less of a big deal and maybe it can calm the speeding rate of his heartbeat.

“It must be important if you came right after class.” Namjoon says taking off the single shoe he had managed to put on and properly stand up straight eyeing Jungkook. “Did you run all the way from the bus station? Jungkook…” He scolds, taking Jungkook's frozen hands into his own bigger warmer ones and drags him in.

Jungkook for a moment has to hold back a snicker imagining Namjoon’s reaction if he knew how he actually got here. And he looks so cute with his small frown and determined expression already. He can feel his own heart sizing up as Namjoon drags him by the hands into the couch, hushing about Jungkook being too careless and too underdressed as he drapes a heavy blanket over his shoulders.

He feels cared for, it's nice.

It's only when Namjoon forced a hot cup of tea into Jungkook’s hands, that they slowly start to regain their feeling, that the older sits back down next to him on the couch. His eyes are concerned, unsure, as if all this had just been an excuse to make time, before he inevitably has to ask. “What-uh--What did you want to tell me?” He manages to smile, but Jungkook knows him all too well.

Jungkook’s expression doesn’t falter though, he is ready to do this. He needs to do this.

“You...you’re probably wondering what happened to me yesterday.” Namjoon’s expression drops at that nodding a bit quickly, eagerly, and all too endearingly. Jungkook really made him worry, didn’t he?

“I was upset over some rando’s romantic poems,because--well its stupid but- they were so corny and romantic, they actually made me doubt what you and I have.” He can't help the incredulous tone of his voice because, saying it outloud finally, it really is so ridiculous. Jungkook shakes his head smiling, as if humored.

When his eyes find Namjoon again, they melt with love at the older’s stunned expression. “I convinced myself we were out of sync, or that you weren’t getting anything I sent your way. But it was just those stupid corny poems getting to me.” He sets the cup down, hands warm enough to hold Namjoon’s.

“But I am stupid, and corny, and in love.” He feels his own cheeks burning. “So I want to dedicate these poems to you.” Jungkook knows his smile is giddy like a childs as he reaches for his pocket taking the infamous notebook and handing it to Namjoon with an excited smile.

His boyfriend still looks stunned, and Jungkook can only think about how much smaller the passport sized notebook fits in his hands; even when Jungkook’s own hands aren’t particularly small, it's his boyfriend’s fault for being so family-sized.

With a great amount of strength, he forces himself to stop looking at his boyfriend’s gorgeous hands as he skims through the pages. He is a little surprised to find a frown on Namjoon’s brow, an anxious feeling settling over the younger at the bottom of his stomach.

“How much did you read of it?” Namjoon asks eyes staying glued to the notebook on his lap, avoiding Jungkook’s wide vulnerable eyes.

“U-uh.. I read… I read the first five, though--though the fifth one isn't romantic I only want the first four of them for you. They--I think they fit perfectly into my--my feelings for you.” Jungkook is growing nervous by the second, Namjoon’s eyes stay strained on the notebook, as Jungkook grows more and more convinced that he is exposing too much too intensely again.

“So you didn’t read the whole thing.” For the first time since Jungkook handed him the notebook, Namjoon’s eyes traveled to meet Jungkook’s unsure eyes. He can’t find his voice so he just shakes his head, and that makes his boyfriend's shoulders relax with a sigh. “Okay that explains it.”

“Ex-Explains what?”

“None of those poems are romantic, Jungkook-ah.”

Moma Muji, passport size, 4.92 x 3.36 inches, persian green cover, 24 pages, ruled, only 16 used, poems 1-5 non-romantic themes (allegedly).

“How--how would you know?” Jungkook asks almost defensively, as if standing up for the stranger poet with fanaticism.

Namjoon winces as if it pains him to say it. “I left the notebook by your desk, its uh--mine.” He was avoiding Jungkook’s eyes until now, staring up at him vulnerable, but with a small smile. “They aren’t romantic poems.”

Jungkook’s world stops for just a second, the shock is evident on his face. He is beginning to open his mouth to speak again but he can’t find anything in his seemingly hollow head to say anything. “Well...That’s embarrassing.” He manages to say, feeling the tip of his ears burn.

He made that whole love scene.

“I believe the reader can find more than one structured meaning to the poems, it's not that my meaning is above yours just because I wrote it.” Namjoon explains, and maybe it's his imagination, but he sounds a lot more comfortable having seen his own loss of words on Jungkook’s tongue. He is handing him back the notebook, the older’s smile is almost as giddy as his when he first started his monologue.

“That sounds like bullshit to make me feel better.” He manages to joke with a grin.

“You should read it, the ending” Namjoon’s smile turns warm. He didn’t deny it. Sounds like, thinking the creator’s intentions are equal to the perception of the auciende, is bullshit after all. “It's kinda important.” There's humor in his voice and a pout forms on the younger’s lips.

“Well I liked to appreciate them one poem at a time!” He defends but it's harmless under Namjoon’s loving stare.

“You could have just recognized my handwriting, baby.” Jungkook’s face blushes in embarrassment.

“And take away all the mystery? No.”

Jungkook’s fingers are hurried and clumsy as he flips over the pages, at first eyeing the poems that had already plagued his mind for weeks. And as he continues forward finding more scribbles and poems, only recognizing a word or two before skipping until he reached the last pages. His heart threatened to beat its way out of Jungkook’s chest.

He is pretty sure he is on page 14 when he meets what he is looking for.

Moma Muji, passport size, 4.92 x 3.36 inches, persian green cover, 24 pages, ruled, only 16 used, poems 1-5 non-romantic themes (confirmed by author: Jungkook’s boyfriend).

Jungkook

His own name stares back at him as he prepares himself for what's next. But he can't find it in himself to feel afraid, not with the weight of Namjoon’s adoring eyes on him.

If you’ve reached this part is because you managed to read through this notebook and whatever I coax out of myself to write in it. I

If you reached this part, then it means you managed to get through all the ugly that I put in here, all my doubts and fears and sour thoughts, I displayed them to you.

Because you make me believe that all my ugly insides are worthy of love; that my entire self is somehow deserving of you. You make me want to show you my realest self.

So, I did. And even if it hasn’t happened I’m terrified of the thought already; no one has made me sink as deep as you, while simultaneously lifting me up higher than ever.

For some reason, I get the feeling I’m exaggerating, since you always find a way to love the unlovable parts of myself. But despite that, I want to give you something pretty, and worthy of love.

I used to be one of those whatever people

I didn’t believe in what real love is

I used to say habitually “I want to love”

But I found myself. The whole new myself.

I met you and did I realize that I’m a book

I want to be the best man for you

It's probably naturally because you are my world itself

You are my beginning and the end itself

I wanna become part of your bookcase

I wanna interfere in your novel as your lover.

What would it be like if I really went to you?

If I went to you, would you be sad?

If I am not the one, what would I be?

In the end, would you leave me too?

The wind wind wind that grazes me

I hope that isn’t just this.

My feelings are blue blue blue

My entire head is filled with blue

How much much much

How much much much you…

You’re my person

You’re my wind

You’re my pride

You’re my love

You’re my love.

Jungkook, I want to share my ugly and my pretty with you, I want to let you see me whole .

Would you move in with me?

“You...You didn’t just imagine me acting off sync.” Namjoon breaks the suffocating silence as Jungkook’s widened eyes leave the sixteenth page of the notebook. It looks like the older’s expression has softened, even if sadly. “I thought you had read it all and just...didn’t know how to reject me.” He smiles but it's gloomy eyes avoiding the younger, as if he had assumed this was a fact.

A little bit of Jungkook’s heart breaks at that.

A life shared with Namjoon, Namjoon who trusts Jungkook the deepest parts of his being, that trusts in Jungkook’s ability to love, to treat him delicately around ugly insides, and grounding against a weak trembling frame.

Like he looks right now, eyes nervous and strained on Jungkook as his hands fondle with each other shoulders raising and falling shakily with quivering breaths. Jungkook doesn’t even have to think twice.

Both his hands reach for Namjoon’s shoulders, making sure his entire attention is on him. Namjoon's lowered head perks up startled. “Joonie… I’m sorry your plan didn’t work out the way you intended.” He smiles apologetically and he lets his hands slide down Namjoon’s arms and onto his fiddling hands. “But it's not like it matters.” His tone it's relaxed but it doesn’t seem to calm Namjoon, not even with the stroking of his thumbs over the older's hand.

There's a question rising up the older’s throat but Jungkook doesn’t let it. “It doesn’t matter because... I want to move in with you.” He sees all the tension leave Namjoon’s expression into pure surprise, endearing enough that it coaxes a giggle out of Jungkook, tugging his bigger hands closer to him, kissing him softly; surprised to find Namjoon kissing back with what he can only imagine is all the pent up emotion from this week.

He doesn’t question it for long, he can never think all that much when Namjoon is kissing him.

“Where are you going? We already have everything.” Jungkook questions his boyfriend as he starts to exit their apartment door; which is currently filled with boxes they just brought back from Jungkook’s former dorm.

“I just have one more thing to get from my car.” He kisses the top of Jungkook’s head and without any more explanation he leaves through the door. Leaving Jungkook by himself for the first time in this entire hectic day.

The apartment looks messy, or well, messier than usual; Namjoon always tried to be neat for his boyfriend’s sake, and succeeded a few times. Most times, Jungkook would find him covered in work and would offer to clean for him, claiming to be ‘trophy wife’ material. Its catastrophic now, covered in boxes, Jungkookisn’t a hoarder but Namjoon’s apartment is what one would politely call ‘cozy’. It's catastrophic, yet Jungkook can only feel his heart size up in excitement and giddiness; as if completely unaffected by the mess like he normally would.

It's just hard to focus on the mess, when every time he tries to he sees traces of himself in this apartment: in his box of old CDs that will go in a shared collection with Namjoon’s, or how his boyfriend indulged him by taking Jungkook’s energy crystals out of the moving box and into the spaces of the apartment here they belong (even when it's obvious he doesn’t believe in them for a second), or the way Namjoon got some of Jungkook’s photos printed out and framed so they can decide where to hang them sometime this week.

He’s only been living here for half a day, and Namjoon’s place is already his.

Well, to be fair, Namjoon has been his for a considerably longer amount of time. And that fact alone is enough to make Jungkook stand just the slightest bit taller than before.

Yes he is proud, sue him.

“Back.” Namjoon announces softly shutting the door, and taking out his snow soaked boots, with a hand suspiciously behind his back.

In a wave of confidence Jungkook can’t help the flirty smile as he walks over to his boyfriend. “Yes, back.” A hand settles over the short hairs of Namjoon’s nape, caressing softly. “What’s behind it?” He tilts his head to the side with a smile that tries to be seductive but only manages to be bright.

“Can’t get anything past you, can I?” Namjoon’s face splits into a grin staring down slightly to Jungkook; he isn’t that short! It's just… they’re so close.

“No you can not. I own this place and I’ll establish a customs directorate right at the doorstep.” His grin is wide, cocky almost with its jokes; hands still mindlessly playing with Namjoon’s hair with arms hooked over his shoulders.

“You own the place? Does that mean you’ll pay your share of the bill?” A raised eyebrow is all Jungkook needs for his facade to collapse.

“Nooo, I think you misheard me. I just said this is my boyfriend’s place? My super generous, compassionate and broken college student boyfriend, he is great.” If hsi tone sounds desperate he doesn't care, it makes Namjoon chuckle, and that's all that matters. “No customs. But please show me? Please?” Maybe he is whining, laying limp against Namjoon’s firm torso while he whines like a child.

But you can’t criticize him for it, when it works.

“You are impossible to resist, you know it's not fair.” He says rolling his eyes and shoving Jungkook off of him, with the hand that he has available. Once they're at a comfortable distance he reveals.

A potted Camellia.

“I bet that mean poet had you pretty bummed about not having one of these.” His tone is joking but soft, adoring as a pink tone spreads over his cheeks.

Jungkook’s cheeks hurt from smiling as he nears Namjoon again, the potted plant being the only thing separating them. “He did.” He meets Namjoon’s hands helping hold the weight of the plant. Today, his hands are cold instead of Jungkook’s. “I’ll have to make him pay me somehow.”

“I’m sure he’ll find some way.” Namjoon mumbles but leaning over close enough that Jungkook understands. Placing a soft peck to his lips.

Moma Muji, passport size, 4.92 x 3.36 inches, persian green cover, 24 pages, ruled, only 16 used, poems 1-5 non-romantic themes (confirmed by author: Jungkook’s boyfriend), now sitting on a bedside table on Jungkook’s side of the bed, with a cut Camellia on a whiskey glass with water next to it. Both manifestations of how Namjoon is just as stupid and corny and in love as he is.

#namkook #kim namjoon #jeon jungkook #fluff #established relationship #poetry fic #happy ending #misunderstandings

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hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis · 4 years

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Caught In Between 06. A Night Out

Summary: Athena Dumont has finally found a place to call home after many years of foster homes and traveling. She had finally tamed her supernatural side and just wanted to live a normal teenage life. She quickly discovers that there is nothing normal about her hometown, Mystic Falls and gets sucked right back into the supernatural world.

Post Date: 05.10.20

Word count: 3k

Based off: 02x016 “The House Guest”

Masterlist

I wake up and start to get ready for school, I hop in the shower and finish getting ready. I start to head to the kitchen before I hear slamming against the walls in Stefan’s room. I rush over to see what’s happing and find Elena and Katherine having some sort of standoff. Damon walks up behind me, “What is she doing here?” Elena asks clearly annoyed.

“When we killed Elijah, it broke the compulsion and freed the bitch from the tomb,” Damon explained.

“How is that possible?” Stefan asks.

“He’s an Original. They have all sorts of special skills.” I roll my eyes at Katherine as she strokes a feather.

“I don’t need you here. Get her out of here.” Elena looks over at Stefan.

“You need me, Elena. You all do.” Katherine says.

“What for? All you do is backstab.” I say glaring at Katherine.

“We all want the same thing… Klaus dead. Unless... you don’t Athena.” Katherine looks at me expecting me to say I don’t.

“He’s done no favors for me, so why would I want him alive?” I scoff.

“Yet here you all are, running around like chickens with their heads cut off.” Katherine ignores my response.

“I don’t need your help and I don’t want it,” Elena says annoyed.

“And that’s incredibly stupid of you. Do you know where Klaus is? When he’s coming, what he looks like?” Katherine says clearly forgetting that I’m in the room.

“We don’t need you, we have Athena. But if you know something, say it or get out,” Damon threatens.

“Fine. Then I’ll just go to the Grill and have some lunch...maybe Aunt Jenna’s free for a bite.” Katherine nonchalantly says looking over to Elena and leaves.

“You almost ready?” Stefan looks at me.

“Yeh, I just need to grab a few things. I’ll meet you and Elena downstairs.” I respond and head back to “my room”

I go to the bed and grab my backpack, “Yes Damon?” I say as I turn towards the door.

“Do you really have to go to school? I mean you could stay here hang with me all day.”

“No thanks. Why don’t you have Andie come over to keep you company.” I respond.

“She has a job to keep up with,” Damon says seductively.

“And I have school, I’ll see you later” I head out of the room to meet Stefan and Elena downstairs.

I cramp into the back of Stefan’s car as Elena gets into the front seat. Stefan drives us to school. Once we got to the parking lot, Elena lets me out of the back, “Why is she still here? She was free.” Elena says clearly talking about Katherine.

“She wants what we want...Klaus dead. Maybe she sees us as her only chance.” Stefan slightly tries to defend her.

“Or maybe she’s trying to lure you and Damon back into her web. I want her gone.” Elena states.

“I don’t think that’s the case, it may be Katherine. But we all know that she’s just trying to survive like she always does. I mean I don’t want her here either.” I interrupt their conversation.

“Athena’s right, this could also possibly be just so she can survive as she does. But you’re also right, she stayed. Shouldn’t we at least try to figure out the real reason?” Stefan asks as we make our way towards the school.

“How? All she does is lie,” Elena replies.

“Look, I hate it as much as you do, but she does make a point. We don’t know anything about Klaus and yes, I know you know some stuff, Athena. But she seems to be keeping tabs or something. Unless there’s something that you can add, Athena.” Stefan says and looks over to me.

“Ummm… I’m sorry all I can help with is looks. He never really involved me in his business or anything. And I cut all ties with him and Elijah when I left them. But I’ll try to help if I can.” I say slightly quiet

“It’s ok. You don’t need to be sorry,” Elena says as she wraps her arm around and pulls me into a side hug. “Anyways you’re right Stefan. But that doesn’t mean I want her shacking up with you.” Stefan pulls her into a hug.

“Maybe we should stay at your place tonight,” Stefan says as he holds Elena in an embrace.

“Hmmm, I can’t. I told Athena, Bonnie, and Caroline that they could come over. Bonnie’s freaked because she lost her powers and Caroline’s having Matt drama again. It’s kind of a girls’ night. Maybe Katherine can join us,” Elena jokes, and Stefan kisses her forehead.

“Well, I’d like to see how that goes, kidding. But can you save the cute couple stuff for later? We gotta get to class.” I pull Elena out of Stefan’s arms as he follows.

I move through the motions of the school day, English, math, lunch, history with Alaric, which is weirdly my favorite class. After school, Stefan dropped Elena back ar her house and took me back to his so I could pack for girls night.

“Do you need a ride to Elena’s?” Stefan asked as we pulled up to the Salvatore house.

“Uhh… no, Bonnie’s picking me up.” I say as I get out of the car.

“Ok, I’m heading to the grill to meet up with Bonnie and some other witches. If Damon needs me or whatever, just let him know.” He drives off.

I walk into the house and find Damon bringing boxes into the great room. I head upstairs to the room I was staying in and packed up for girls night. I hang out for a while and wait for Bonnie to pick me up.

“Chinese food or pizza?” Caroline asks as Elena, Bonnie, her, and I hang out in the kitchen of Elena’s house.

“Like you have to ask,” Elena responds.

“I will get it,” Caroline picks up her tablet, she pauses at it noticing the picture she has of her and Matt.

“Here, I’ll order,” I say and grab the tablet from Caroline.

“Do you believe that Jonas is being sincere?” Elena asks hinting at the meeting Bonnie had with the two witches earlier.

“I don’t know what to believe. I think he’s at a loss. He’s not sure who to trust,” Bonnie responds.

“Join the club.”

“Well, what are we going to do about this movie situation? What about ‘The Notebook’?” Caroline suggests changing the subject.

“Caroline, how many times have you seen that movie?” Elena responds.

“That is so not the point.”

“I’d rather not watch it anyways,” I say as Elena’s aunt, Jenna, comes into the kitchen.

“Hey.” Elena greets.

“What’s going on?” Jenna questions.

“Girl’s Night,” Elena sits in a chair. “How are you doing?” She asks her aunt.

“You heard about my fight with Ric,” Jenna says annoyed.

“He feels terrible,” Elena replies.

“Is this some kind of disguised attempt to cheer me up?” Jenna asks clearly not buying that we’re just having a girls night.

“No, no. This is about us girls hanging out and you know, we’ll be here if you happen to want to talk, or…” Elena says trying to support her aunt.

“Because I am a winner when it comes to successful relationships,” Caroline interrupts.

“I feel you there, Caroline,” I say.

“You guys too?” Jenna asks us about relationship problems.

“You have no idea,” Caroline says as I nod my head.

“Okay, then. It’s this whole Isobel thing. He’s hiding something from me.” Jenna sighs and grabs something from the fridge.

“To play devil’s advocate, maybe there is a great reason why he’s not telling you. Maybe he is just trying to protect you,” Caroline suggested as I take notice of Elena becoming slightly uncomfortable. “You good?” I mouth to her and she just shrugs.

“Well, that’s not his call to make. I mean, I deserve the truth, everybody does.” Jenna protests.

“Sometimes it’s harder than that,” Caroline says.

“Maybe he’s just not ready to open up yet. I know I have trouble.” I say trying to get her to ease up.

“Not if it’s somebody you care about, it isn’t” Jenna responds.

After a few moments of silence, Caroline suggests that we go to the Grill to listen to the band playing and to dance. We all agree to go as we knew that we needed to do something else to lighten the mood up. We get ready to head out and go to the grill. Once we arrive, there is a crown of people listening to the band and we join in. We start to dance in the back of the crowd and I notice that Jenna looks over to the left. I follow her gaze and notice Alaric and she leaves to get a drink at the bar.

The next thing we know Matt walks right past Caroline and ignores her. He doesn’t give her a slight look, “Well, that was rude,” I say not caring that they were even having problems.

“Things just got real awkward,” Bonnie points out. “He said the ball’s in your court.” Bonnie states.

“Yeah, but I can’t do anything about it.” Caroline whines.

“But you can,” I state.

“All you do is talk about how much you care about him,” Bonnie points out.

“Yeah, but I am still keeping so many secrets,” Caroline states back.

“Alaric’s in the same boat with Jenna and maybe that’s our mistake. We’re trying to protect the people that we love by keeping them out of it, but in the end, we’re hurting them anyway.” Elena suggests and we all stand there in thought.

After the band finished playing their last song, Caroline just takes off her jacket and heads towards the stage leaving us all confused. She gets up on the stage and starts to talk. The lead singer tried to take the mic away from Caroline but she clearly compelled him. She starts to sing a song and used it to express her feelings for Matt. After Caroline sings for a little he runs up on stage and kisses her and we cheer for them and clap with the crowd.

I wait with Jenna for Elena and Bonnie to get back from the bathroom but notice that they didn’t actually go and that they looked like they were having a serious conversation, but it seemed to ease up. Making me worry less if there was something wrong. I walk up to them but Elena just walks off on her phone.

“I thought there might’ve been something bad happening that I didn’t know about,” I say walking up to Bonnie.

“No, I was just asking Elena for her blessing, sort of, If Jeremy and I wanted to start dating.” She says nonchalantly.

“Ohhh… So you and Jeremy. I mean, to be honest, kinda saw it coming. I’ve noticed the way he acts around you. It’s cute, you guys would make a great couple.” I say and pull her into a hug as she thanks me.

Bonnie pulls out of my hug and I notice that shes staring intensely at something or someone, “What is it?” I ask looking to see what she’s looking at.

“Jonas, I’ll be right back. Stay here.” She walks off towards him as he walks around the Grill. I notice that he doesn’t look happy and the conversation between him and Bonnie started to get heated. Then the lightbulbs blow out, which clearly was the work of Jonas. All of a sudden all the other lightbulbs start to burst throughout the Grill making it pitch black. All of a sudden I feel a pull on my arm, and I’m pulled into the bathroom.

“We have a problem,” Elena starts out.

“What’s going on?” Caroline asks.

“I saw Jonas out there. I’m gonna take a wild guess and say it has to do with him.” I state.

“Yeh, he’s after Elena. We have a plan, but I need to get Elena out of here.” Stefan states.

“Well, what can we do?” I ask for Caroline and me.

We make our way out of the bathroom and find the bar on fire. Stefan, Elena, and I make our way over to Jonas. She tries to make a deal with him but he clearly doesn’t take it and sets the other bar on fire. He starts to go for Elena until Caroline jumps for behind tackling him to the ground. I motion for Elena and Stefan to leave as Caroline tries to bite him but instead she receives a headache back.

I check on Caroline before going after Jonas. In the meantime, Matt rushes over and pushes Jonas against the wall, warning to leave Caroline alone. Jonas being unfazed takes a bottle, breaking it and stabbing it into Matts’s neck. I rush over to him to try to stop the bleeding until Caroline tells me to go stop Jonas. I run towards him but he just greets me with the same side-splitting headache before pushing me against a beam and knocking me out.

I wake up on the couch of Elena’s house as Bonnie, Jeremy, and Stefan talk. I walk over to them and they head upstairs as we hear a body drop to the floor. Hoping that Katherine did her job, Jonas should at least be incapacitated. Bonnie walks around his body, “You didn’t have to kill him!” Bonnie says.

“Yes, we did,” Katherine states back, but Bonnie doesn’t respond and just looks back at Jonas’ body, she moves closer and goes to close his eyes. He somehow gets up and grabs onto Bonnie’s head as she screams, “Get off!” Stefan goes and snaps his neck, finalizing his death, hopefully. We wait a couple of moments but nothing happens.

We head back downstairs to find Elena talking with Damon, “I’m guessing you’re gonna want this back, but your pretty little outfit is going to need a good dry clean,” Katherine says and pulls off Elena’s necklace as we make it to the bottom of the stairs.

“You’re going to have to get her out of here before Jenna gets home,” Elena ignores Kathrine and only speaks to Stefan.

“Is that all you have to say to me?” Katherine asks clearly looking for a “thank you”

“This doesn’t change the way I feel about you,” Elena states back.

“I don’t much like you either, If we’re going to be open. And frankly, I’d be happy to see you dead, but if we’re going to try to take on Klaus, we kinda need you to be alive. And possibly the Dumont wolf here. So I’m not a threat to you, Elena. If any of you are going to believe anything, believe that.” She argues as I just roll my eyes at her just mentioning me by my last name.

“Why do you believe so much that I’m needed?” I ask looking at her.

“I heard how infatuated he was with you. So I figured that you’re someone that we need to lure Klaus. I’m sure he knows you’re here in Mystic Falls by now,” Katherine replies back.

“I don’t have a part to play in his little plan. So what use am I to him?”

“That is for me to not care and you to find out. All I know is that you’re more than likely on his agenda if you were on Elijah’s.” I just stare back at her with no response.

“Well, we should get going. Are you coming with us, Athena?” Stefan asks.

“Oh she’s coming with us,” Damon says, I don’t argue back since I’m not in the mood to and just hug Elena and head out to Damon’s car.

We make our way back to the Salvatore Boarding house. As soon as we arrive I head upstairs to clean up. As I walk into the hall, I see Katherine walk out of Damon’s room, “Good luck,” She says as she walks past my room wearing som lingerie and a silk robe, I just roll my eyes at her and shake my head.

Actually being curious about what Damon was up to I walked into his room, “Knock...Knock,”

“What do you want Kathe…” He says half pausing from being so focused on the Gilbert Journals. “Hey, how are you feeling? Your head?”

“Like you care. But I’m sturdier than you think,” I roll my eyes.

“I do care,” He responds as I sit on the other side of his bed.

“So, find anything useful?” I ask picking up a journal, he shakes his head and puts down the journal he was reading. He puts the journals back in the box and then pulls me closer to him.

He starts to kiss me on my cheeks and neck, “Damon, hey,” I say and pull his head up to look at me. “We’re done, remember?” I remind him.

“Come on, we both know we need this. Just one more night?” He whines.

“You said that last time. I’m not gonna fall into your trap again,” I say and get up. Before I could walk any further he vamp speeds in front of me and looks down at me with his smirk.

“Look, Damon, I have a lot on my mind, not to mention a splitting headache thanks to Jonas,” I start.

“Which is why there’s no better reason,” Damon says slightly excited.

“God, is all you think about is sex and protecting Elena?” I chuckle.

“Noooo” He trails off as he remembers what I said the other day. I kiss his cheek and start to walk away. He pulls me back into his chest with so much force that I stumble back as he presses his lips against mine.

Before I could say anything he picks me up and slams me into the wall behind me, I stopped resisting as it did feel go to do something that didn’t involve risking our lives. He continues to kiss me and my neck before pulling my clothes off. He speeds us over to his bed and he drops me on my back. I pull his shirt off and pull him close to me, “Just this last time,” I whisper in his ear as he chuckles.

“Mmmhhhmmm, sure. You just can’t bring yourself to say you ‘can’t resist me.’” He says

“I could say the same thing about you,” I smirk before he presses his lips against mine and kisses me down my body.

A/N: Hey Guys! I’m sorry I got this part out late. I promise I will get them out on Sunday like I said. I’ve just surprisingly have been somewhat busy and had barely found time to write this part. I also struggled writing this a bit because it was just a filler chapter. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this part. Stay safe and healthy!

P.S. Just a heads up that I’m skipping the next episode (02x17) because it’s also a filler and I wanna get to the juicy stuff. (lmk if you want to be added to a taglist)

#the vampire diaries #the originals #the vampire diaries imagine #the originals imagine #the vampire diaries rewrite #elena gilbert #katherine pierce #Stefan Salvatore #damon salvatore #bonnie bennett #caroline forbes #TVDCIB

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tegoshigeftw · 4 years

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Tegoshige Top 25

“More Tegoshige, please!” - said absolutely noone and I delivered. Well, this isn’t for 5 likes, this is for me. I’ve had this blog for 6,5 years now and I decided to look back on the best it had to offer. This is my rating of top Tegoshige moments, excluding those that tightly involved other members (so the making out had to be left out ;;). The things that made my heart doki doki... It was originally a top 10 but it was getting hard to pick so I decided there literally was no reason to hold back so here we are.

#25 4x9

That one time Tegoshige went on location together (which is already a blessing) and Tegoshi got freaked out because of insects running about and nearly got into Shige’s lap. Nearly. So it heads the list.

# 24 Halloween 2017

Tegoshi was Oiran - an elite courtesan - and Shige was Alex from Clockwork Orange. This was but a short moment but is lasted forever in my mind.

#23 Dropped earring

This was during White final. After the boisterous MC scene where Shige was the couch and Tegoshi was the girlfriend, Shige noticed Tegoshi dropped his earring, picked it up and gave it back to him. Just a minor moment, but Tegoshi was still in girlfriend mode and it was incredibly soft. Video here.

#22 Neverland in Tokyo encore 2017/06/11

Tegoshi got very emotional after he went backstage but the fans kept cheering so they went back on stage again and Tegoshi wouldn’t stop crying so Shige led him softly.

#21 As long as Tegoshi is happy...

Before a live performance, they were interviewed and as it was just after Tegoshi’s birthday, they were asked what they wanted to give so...

S: … (in his best ikemen voice) As long as Tegoshi is happy, that is enough! T: Ahhh! ♥ I am loved! Thank you, Shige-chan! I wanna hug you!~

Video here.

#20 The Spa

It was a photoshoot for Biteki. They were originally in different sandboxes but Tegoshi got lonely very soon.

#19 Hairstylist Shige

Shige has been Tegoshi’s stylist for years, since the early days. You can see it in photos and several DVDs, most notably Live Diamond. Video cut here.

#18 “Shige, thank you!”

The night after the Neverland Tokyo concert, 2017 Shige got a call...

S: After the concert ended, Tegoshi had a party with his friends. And so late at night he suddenly called me saying “Could you come for a bit?” S: He seemed to be serious and he cried so much at the concert. (laugh) I got worried and came over but this guy… he just fell asleep! (laugh) K&M: That’s terrible. S: He woke up once, looked at me saying “Shige, thank you!” and went back to sleep. T: Moreover, I was sleeping in Shige’s lap. [S]

Tegoshi: After the last concert in Tokyo Dome I invited several members of staff and Juniors and we basically did a wrapping up party. I called Shige at 3 AM and he came but I ended up falling asleep in Shige’s lap though I don’t remember that at all. I heard it afterwards but apparently I sang “I’m coming” and Shige sang “Ayame” but I don’t remember a bit… [S]

#17 Neverland in Tokyo 2017/06/10

According to a fan report: At the intro of some song, Shige grabbed Tegoshi by the waist tightly. At first, Tegoshi was playing along but Shige didn’t let go and Tegoshi, not used to being attacked, got embarrassed.

#16 Umeboshi

Shige’s been making umeboshi for years now and his #1 fan is none other than Tegoshi.

S: I’ve been doing it for 10 years. It’s not that I like them, I hardly eat them myself. During the tour our Tegoshi eats quite a lot of them. I leave it (in the dressing room) so after the concert he opens it and eats it. About half of them I make for Tegoshi. [2017.02.08 Moshimono Futari]

Q: If you were to give Christmas presents to the members what would it be?

A: …Well, umeboshi! Umeboshi! Eat my umeboshi and get healthy! I give it to Tegoshi every year though. Ah, but that’s showing “Love”. I give it all the time but it’s a deep love that has a special depth! (laugh) [2018.12.05 TVガイド]

#15 Blue making

This is perfect for several reasons, how naturally this fells, how there’s a perfectly empty chair next to them, and how at the end Tegoshi stumbled and Shige is cautioning him.

#14 That 2013 photoshoot

You know the one. That is all. No comment needed.

#13 Tegoshige Kabe-don and confession

During k-chan news, they played the Prince game and Koyama wanted a kabe-don. So Tegoshi kabe-don’d Shige and told him “I love you!”

The audio available here.

#12 Tegoshi’s kirakira eyes

Back in 2009, Shige had a diary and I’m really sorry he does not anymore because one day after a photoshoot he wrote this:

At that time he had seemed to be already smiling and looking at me Looking at me at such a close distance Is this an effect from DREAM BOYS As compared to before, the distance was so much more closer Tegoshi Yuya Indeed is a prince………….. Oh please won’t you be even a little embarrassed. Just how strong is your heart? Don’t look at me like that………… Being looked at with those shiny eyes…………… The atmosphere will become weird (oдO) ………………………………….. Tegoshi Yuya who has ended the photoshoot using those shiny eyes, had walked towards DREAM BOYS with that pair of eyes Ah~ shiny shiny Tegoshi eyes~ I’ll be waiting for that photoshoot~ I wonder… for which magazine would it be Oh the kira kira eyes

Full text here.

#11 That Taiwan hotel video

We all remember that one. Tegoshi in his bathrobe going out to visit ‘other members’’ rooms but he only goes to Shige’s and gets comfortable on his bed, and gets pounced, and the next thing they show, it’s morning.

#10 Soukon thigh stroking

That time the camerman got very fascinated with Tegoshi’s legs and the other members teased him about it and called him a pervert. Then, Shige decided to stroke those thighs because... well, he can.

#9 Taking a bath together!

- An unforgettable episode that happened on stage.

Kato: Because of a thunderstorm we had to stop the concert. We moved it to a later date. After a break the 4 of us got into tiny bathtubs, 2 in each and it felt sort of like a field trip, (laugh) the bath was warm. [Duet 2015.04]

They also talked about it during an MC at the time.

Shige pretended to climb into the “tub” with Tegoshi. “We were Team… What was it again?” T: Team “We haven’t done our solos yet”. S: And Tegoshi was sliding all over the place and smacking into me. He was such a naughty guy. T: It couldn’t be helped. It’s slippery. K: But baths are nice, aren’t they? Shige answered in a chill voice, “Yeah, they’re great.” [S]

#8 Worldista routine

I think this was during Weeek where they make up different letters with their bodies. Every concert it went differently but several times Tegoshi left his place and went over to Shige. This fancam pictured the time he got on top of him. Or tried to.

Also here’s a report from Nagano, May 25:

Tegoshi goes to Shige and captures him in a hug and Shige hugs him back. Then Shige picks Tegoshi up and carries him like a sleeping child to his original position. [Fanart here]

#7 Showers

Tegoshi is long known to invade other people’s privacy and during the tour, other people’s shower stalls are no exception. There are many recent episodes but here’s one account:

Q2: Shige-chan said in Nagoya when he took a shower Tegoshi appeared right before his eyes but does he do it always?

S: Not… always but he did it quite a lot on this tour. He trespassed about 3-4 times I think. He would enter the shower room I went to really quietly. That’s why I got really startled. He’d get happy he made me surprised and start grinning. (laugh) I would counterattack by pouring water over him.

[Tour Stories from Popolo 2016.09 FUN’S QUESTION - SHIGEAKI]

Then, there’s an important MC from 2008. One time, during the tour Massu wanted to take a shower but as he entered the stalls, he met a naked Shige standing proudly. Shige explained he was only waiting on Tegoshi who earlier danced for him naked. Massu was like “Cool, I’ll leave you to it.”

The full account is here. There used to be an audio of this but I didn’t manage to get it.

#6 DTF ‘ago-kui’

There were many instances during two whole tours and also a SCP performance. Each time seems a little closer and more intimate, but each time looks equally fun on both sides.

#5 Accessible Emma outfit

Now we know that Shige, unlike Tegoshi, is not a touchy kind of guy. So him doing something like this, especially on air, is pretty unusual. Tegoshi said Shige did it a lot backstage too.

#4 “I wanna stir you up”

This line from ‘S’ was a real hit and Tegoshi basically admitted it got him horny. Twice. Detailed posts here and here.

#3 Tegoshi saying they’re basically married

Here’s the video.

#2 Tegoshi knows what’s up

Who do you think has the most sex appeal?

Tegoshi: Shige. His face is handsome like a nobility but he’s also manly. Rather than a shining sexuality his sexuality is monochrome… a deep sexuality. It’s the kind that slowly unravels as you get to know him. [Wink Up, 2013.12]

Who would be a perfect boyfriend in NEWS?

Tegoshi: Wouldn’t that be Shige? It seems like he wouldn’t be clingy but all the while even when he’s silent, in his heart he’d be like “I’m thinking about you properly ♥” keeping a good distance. [Ane Can 2015]

Look with a “female gaze” and say who’s the most handsome member Tegoshi: Alright, I’m switching to female… click! …Hello, I’m Yuko! (laugh) So… for me it’s Shige. The reason is his face and his way of life. His face is up to my taste (laugh) and he doesn’t hesitate in words or in actions. His open-minded way of thinking is similar to mine. It’s refreshing and feels good. [Potato 2016.10]

To name but a few.

#1 Shige radio confession

During k-chan news, they played the Prince game and Koyama wanted one person to say what they liked about the other person and this is how Shige confessed.

K: Do it properly! Seriously. Connect hands “lover style”, look at each other. *giggle* S: Tegoshi has a really cute face. Really cute face and a good voice… K: That’s not it. S: A nice voice and beautiful eyes… K: Something you really like, really like. S: But I really do like it. K: Something more about his personality. S: If it’s about his personality then… even when he complains he still does his job properly.

Sorry, but that’s just... yeah. You have to hear it though. Full transcript and audio here.

#Tegoshige #special

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tillidontneedfantasy · 5 years

Text

Defined by the Things She Loves: A Track-by-Track Breakdown of Taylor Swift’s 7th Studio Album, ‘Lover.’

Contrary to popular belief and misconception, Taylor Swift has always been more of a lover than a fighter. Yes, she can be a fighter, but only when she feels she has no choice. Often times, the combative side of her is brought out as a means to protect her ability to love. “Combat, I’m ready for combat. I say I don’t want that, but what if I do?” is how Swift opens up the vulnerable fifth track from her new album, Lover, titled “The Archer,” in which she explores her automatic defenses when things go well, because how can they possibly stay that way? This is an incessant fear of Swift’s, as seen through her personal diary entries included in the 4 different deluxe versions of the album. In deluxe album 2, there is an entry from 21-year-old Taylor that says: “This ridiculous thing happens to me when I’m this happy...I start feeling like karma will balance it all out by making something tragic happen.”

She then counters her own negative thinking: “But I’m trying to just show gratitude as much as I can. Every day, every minute. I’m grateful for being happy right this moment.” In the foreword for this album, Swift notes how a majority of these diary entries actually do document her taking a moment to cherish the small joys in her life: “I wrote about tiny details in my life in these diaries from a bygone age with such...wonderment. Intrigue. Romance. I noticed things and decided they were romantic, and so they were.” And not much has changed. Even on reputation (2017), an album that evokes a combative stance, or so it seemed to the naked eye, she still always finds the romance in life. Coincidentally, reputation is an album in which the general public took around 2 years to admit was actually good. In a lot of ways, it felt like the reputation era was deliberate in that sense, as if Taylor only trusted her loyal fans to get what she was trying to say and do, almost not wanting the skeptics and overly zealous critics to see what was underneath the armor. All the reviews of reputation slammed it as an album about her infamous feuds, and although they are of course addressed famously on songs such as “Look What You Made Me Do,” “I Did Something Bad,” and “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things,” and sprinkled a little more here and there throughout, that was more of a distraction to the actual inspiration: love. Almost every other track on reputation explores her anxiety and relief around her newfound relationship at the time with British actor Joe Alwyn. It’s really a love story about finding someone who sees you for who you really are, rather than how the world is painting you.

On Lover, Swift takes command of the paintbrush, trying to get the world to see her the way her “lover” and her fans have the whole time. In “Dancing With Our Hands Tied” from reputation, Swift sings, “deep blue, but you painted me golden.” On “Daylight,” Lover’s closer, she describes love as golden like daylight. “Step into the daylight and let it go,” she almost whispers. She’s shedding her snakeskin, and she is ready for people to see her in all her loving and golden glory.

Swift is a storyteller like no other pop singer this generation, and so it would feel wrong to skip any chapter of this beautiful story. And thus, please join me in the track-by-track breakdown of the triumphant and magical Lover.

01. I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED

“How many days did I spend thinking ‘bout how you did me wrong?” she opens the album, seemingly reflecting on the reputation era and image. She revels in the magical feeling of forgetting that someone who wronged you even existed; obviously not forever, but just for even a single moment when you’ve realized, “Ah, I’ve made it to indifference! How wonderful!” She laughs and becomes more playful as the song progresses, showing her relief, although not exactly her freedom. In a recent interview with CBS Sunday morning, Swift asserts, "You know, people go on and on about, like, you have to forgive and forget to move past something. No, you don't. You don't have to forgive and you don't have to forget to move on. You can move on without any of those things happening. You just become indifferent, and then you move on." This sentiment is evident throughout the song, and in the nonchalant way she ends it by going, “so...yeah...” As in, yes the drama has affected me, but I’ve come to terms with it, so let’s move on, shall we? And so, we shall!

02. CRUEL SUMMER

Sometimes, listening to a song can feel like electrocution. “Cruel Summer” is an immediate shock to the system following the bubbly first track. Suddenly, for 2 minutes and 58 seconds, we’re transported back into the anxiety of reputation, but through a different lens. Chronicling what seems to be a fraught start to her current relationship, Swift seems to be suffocating under her own emotions, trying to play it casual and cool, however against her nature. The production is astounding, and it is one of her most intriguing songs to date. Each lyric can be analyzed again and again from a new perspective, leaving you to wonder more and more. (And what so significant happened at a vending machine that she felt the need to include it in this story?) At the climax of the song, she admits that she can no longer keep her feelings secret, and has to risk telling him how she feels, even if that means losing him. “I scream, ‘for whatever it’s worth, I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’” she shouts in the bridge. Earlier in the track she states that “devils roll the dice,” and after her dicey proclamation of love she tells the audience that “he looks up grinning like a devil,” as if he were to say, “Of course I love you back, I rolled the dice for it to be so, didn’t I?” The entire song can be interpreted in a multitude of ways, but one thing is certain: the summer may have been cruel, but it was all love come the fall.

03. LOVER

The best-received and final pre-release, the title track is an ode to her main muse for this album. “Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?” she wonders, before asking to be with her lover forever and ever. She’s felt like she’s known him for almost her whole life, and wants to spend the rest of it with him, too. So much so that the bridge sounds like Swift’s (future? past? are they secretly married?) wedding vows, especially with the play on words for something borrowed and blue. The song even sounds like it’s being played by a wedding band with the use of live instruments. Although it has been pushed as a single and is destined to be a wedding song for many couples to come, I unfortunately cannot see it having the same success as Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud” or “Perfect,” despite its superior lyrics and greater emotional depth. And why might that be, you ask? Great segue into the next track...

04. THE MAN

It’s really a staggering thought experiment to think of how Taylor Swift’s career would be perceived if she was a man. I could write a novel on this, but Taylor did a pretty good job of summing it up in a 3-minute pop song: if she was a man, she’d be THE man. This is without question the truth. The woman has 10 Grammys and countless other accolades, she has written her own music since the beginning of time (her third album, Speak Now [2010], was entirely self-written, no co-writers). Yet she is continually ridiculed and mocked for things for which men are praised. Swift sings the song slickly in her very comfortable alto-range, which feels purposeful. It feels oddly powerful to hear Taylor Swift sing the word “bitch” twice in one song, which not only hearkens back to her defense for the infamous Kimye call, but for a moment really highlights the distinguished usages of the word “bitch,” forcing you to really consider why we let men just get away with it. And yes, the song’s take on misogyny is pretty surface level, but Taylor herself only has to deal with it on such a level, so we have to work with what we’ve got. Either way, I don’t think I’ll ever be over the line, “I’d be just like Leo in Saint-Tropez.” Someone had to say it, and she did!

05. THE ARCHER

The third pre-release from Lover, “The Archer” is a slow-build examination of Swift’s role in her relationships, both with others and herself. We have never seen this side of Taylor, but it feels like we were waiting for it all along, like we needed it. It’s very rare that someone as successful as Swift lays out their deepest flaws and insecurities for the world, other than Lorde on “Liability,” also co-produced and written by Jack Antonoff. “I never grew up, it’s getting so old,” she says, echoing a common criticism of the way she has dealt with feuds or breakups publicly. “The Archer” is placed at track 5, a track that Swift has historically reserved for the most vulnerable song on the album. The bridge officially earns this spot; it is simple and simultaneously one of her best ever, as she transitions from, “They see right through me” to “Can you see right through me?” and then finally to an agonizing “I see right through me.” Swift’s self-awareness is painfully relatable, as she pleads, “help me hold onto you,” after each pre-chorus as an important reminder that sometimes we need to ask for help in order to grow.

06. I THINK HE KNOWS

It almost feels like whiplash going from the vulnerability of “The Archer” to a song that has the line, “He’s so obsessed with me, and boy, I understand!” But it’s a fun type of whiplash, as if Taylor is saying “wipe your tears and let’s skip down 16th avenue together.” What is admirable about Swift’s craft is that she is able to mature and cover maybe more sexual topics in her music while still keeping it discrete enough for her younger audience. “Where we gonna go? I think he knows,” feels like a wink to the camera (microphone?) moment. And yes, Taylor, we do know. Happy for you, girl.

07. MISS AMERICANA & THE HEARTBREAK PRINCE

Many deemed Lover’s second single, “You Need to Calm Down,” along with its Video of the Year winning music video, which explicitly outlines her support for LGBTQ rights, as an outright opportunistic ploy to win over liberal music consumers rather than a genuine showing of solidarity. The unflashy “Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince” proves that Swift means business. The casual listener might not realize the subject matter right away as it masked underneath school tropes and cheerleader chants. Quite effectively, Swift uses high school as a metaphor for the current political state. This song could be better explained through a 7 page MLA formatted essay, but in short, it’d be helpful to take note of Swift’s recent explanation and regret for her silence during the 2016 election. The lyric “they whisper in the hallway, ‘she’s a bad, bad girl,’” echoes the similarities between Swift and Hillary Clinton that she outlined to Vogue. It is refreshing to hear Taylor write about something perhaps out of her comfort zone with the same eloquence and strength as she would about topics she’s been writing about for years, and her message is clear: she is against the current president and administration, and always has been. “Boys will be boys, then where are the wise men? Darling, I’m scared,” she sings frantically. Me too, Taylor.

08. PAPER RINGS

Quite like “Lover,” this song feels timeless. “Paper Rings” is a series of quips, connecting the moon being high to his friends, her cold wine to her cold shoulder, and feeling blue to the color they painted his brother’s wall. There’s quite a charming sigh after she chants that she will kiss him a third time “’cause you waited your whole life,” and then proceeds to proclaim that she would marry her lover even with paper rings. With the upbeat, musical number like rhythm and the line, “I hate accidents, except when we went from friends to this,” this track is destined to be in romantic comedy films until the end of time, as it should.

09. CORNELIA STREET

Out of all 18 tracks on Lover, “Cornelia Street” is the most reminiscent of Taylor’s staple songwriting, and self-written at that. A beautiful, lengthy retelling of the “sacred new beginnings” of her relationship, the song centers around the street on which she rented an apartment in 2016. She swears if she lost him, she’d never walk the street again. Once again, Taylor masters the ability to make extremely personal details feel completely universal; we all know what it’s like to associate a specific place or time with someone we love or lost, and how that link can never be fully broken. It’s hard to smell the scent of someone you no longer speak to, or hear their favorite song, or walk down the street where you shared something special. On top of the beautiful production, the way Taylor’s voice cracks right before the last chorus when she says, “I’d never walk Cornelia Street again,” is just an immediate tear duct trigger. You need proof that Swift can write on her own? Look no further.

10. DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS

Inspired by the Netflix film Someone Great (which was coincidentally inspired by Swift’s “Clean” from 1989 [2014], says writer and director Jennifer Kaytin Robinson), “Death By A Thousand Cuts” explores the pain of separating from someone, not because some tragic event happened that tore you apart, but because you naturally grew away from each other. “Gave you too much but it wasn’t enough / but I’ll be all right, it’s just a thousand cuts,” she tries to say casually. There is a unique mixture of production styles, and an absolutely mesmerizing bit of piano at the end of the hook. The echoing “my, my, my, my” in the beginning makes sense when it returns for the second half of the song, in which Swift lists all of the things taken up by this person. Though we know this song is not from personal experience, it shows that she can still write one hell of a breakup song.

11. LONDON BOY

A catchy, upbeat song filled with totally cliche tropes of London men, including British vernacular such as “I fancy you!” While some people are taking the song a bit too seriously, it is a fun track that shows just how head-over-heels she truly is with Joe Alwyn, as she giddily describes herself as a child when their eyes meet. “They say home is where the heart is, but that’s not where mine lives,” she croons. Although the meaning of the saying “home is where the heart is” would point to the fact that her home would actually be in London with her lover rather than where she’s from, it’s still a cute twist on the phrase.

12. SOON YOU’LL GET BETTER featuring The Dixie Chicks

Probably the saddest song Taylor has ever written, “Soon You’ll Get Better” is a mantra to her mother, Andrea, during her cancer relapse. (The Dixie Chicks, Andrea’s favorite artist, lend their beautiful harmonies). However, it is also a mantra to herself to get through the impossible. “Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too,” “I know delusion when I see it in the mirror,” and “I just pretend it isn’t real” painfully show how Taylor is dealing with it. But she’s willing to go to any lengths for her mom as she sings, “I’ll paint the kitchen neon, I’ll brighten up the sky / I know I’ll never get it, there’s not a day that I won’t try.” One of the most heartbreaking moments comes in the bridge with the lyric “I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to?” She has said multiple times that she does not think she’ll ever perform the song live and that she cannot even listen to it. Anyone going through a similar situation can understand; it’s a very difficult song to get through without crying. And although the pain Taylor and her family must be going through is unimaginable, there is extreme bravery in sharing such a personal account that is also, unfortunately, a universal experience.

13. FALSE GOD

“False God” is a sultry and confident song about convincing herself and her partner that they can still make their relationship work despite all of the breaking points they’ve reached. “I’m New York City, I still do it for you, babe,” she states, reassuring the both of them that she shines like the brightest city in the world, and there’s no way he’s going to let that go...right? The track is elevated to another level by the saxophone in the chorus, and the way she almost trips over her words, somewhat offbeat with the track in the pre-chorus when she says, “They all warned us about times like this / they say the road gets hard and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith” feels like she’s guiding the listener through the uncertainty and desperation behind blind faith too.

14. YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN

Lover’s second single, “You Need to Calm Down,” is a song about dealing with people who just can’t mind their damn business, divided into three parts: the online bullying Taylor has received, the homophobia displayed outside of her concerts by Westboro Baptist protesters, and the constant comparisons between and competition projected onto different female artists. With its release during Pride month and an array of LGBTQ celebrities in the music video, casual listeners were extremely skeptical of Swift’s intentions, feeling as if she is only showing support for the LGBTQ community now because she thinks it will help advance her career. This judgment is misplaced for two reasons: 1) Swift started off in country music, and so the majority of her fanbase are from red states, so she has much more to lose than to gain, 2) clearly these people have not been paying attention; not only has Swift shown her support to the community in various ways throughout the years, but this is already her second time showing it through music, as she celebrates “you can want who you want, boys and boys and girls and girls” in 1989′s opening track, “Welcome to New York.” Again, she wants to show that she values love- all types of love- above all. Was Swift’s execution perfect? No. Were her intentions in the right place? Yes. Everyone’s been crying for Swift to be more outspoken, and she’s doing her best. And she has been continually showing avid support for The Equality Act, as she started a petition which she asks people to sign at the end of the video. And although I am straight and cisgender and thus everything I just said isn’t actually important, and what really matters is what her fans in the LGBTQ community have to say, I have seen many of them express feeling really seen by their favorite pop star because of this song, and isn’t that the most important part of it all? Taylor can definitely do more and do better, but it’s a genuine start.

15. AFTERGLOW

It’s been years of pleading...years of completely original outcries...”Write a song called ‘Maybe I’m The Problem’!’” Well, maybe she didn’t make that the title, but “Afterglow” is the closest thing we’re going to get. “Hey, it’s all me, in my head / I’m the one who burned us down, but it’s not what I meant / Sorry that I hurt you,” she apologizes, taking complete ownership for a blowout. “Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves,” she observes, as when you hurt someone you love so much you are also hurting yourself. Then she turns the fight on its head, making it for one another instead of with one another: “This ultraviolet morning light below tells me this love is worth the fight.” Lover is such an interesting album from Taylor Swift because we get to see the sides of her in love we haven’t before, and in “Afterglow” she shows us all sides: combative, overdramatic, reflective, apologetic, and reparative. So maybe it’s time to retire the joke, kids.

16. ME! featuring Brendon Urie

I don’t care what anyone says: spelling IS fun. And it’s truly tragic (yes, tragic) that Swift decided to remove such a bold assertion from the lead single, “ME!” right before the album’s release. When it comes to Swift, it seems like her critics are constantly waiting for her downfall, which in some way admits that they know she’s good. But what they fail to comprehend is that a songwriter can write serious, profound songs as well as songs that are just for a laugh or to make them feel good. Anytime Swift engages in the latter, it’s responded with aggressive amounts of “Taylor Swift sucks! This song is horrible!” And then when the full album comes out, they sigh, “Damn it, she doesn’t actually suck- just that one song does,” and await the next album cycle for her to prove them wrong again. It seems like Swift is the only one of her contemporaries to receive this treatment. (I wonder why? See: “The Man.”) Was “ME!” a great single choice? Not really. Is it one of the weakest songs on the album overall? Unfortunately, yes. But within the context of the album, following songs like “False God” and “Afterglow,” she’s trying to say, “Yeah, I’ve messed up, but I clean up my messes, and what we have is special because we are both individually special.” That’s a great message! Just because something might appeal to children doesn’t inherently make it childish. And you know what? You literally cannot spell ‘awesome’ without ‘me.’ (And by the way, Brendon Urie is actually the one who wrote the bridge, but alas, no one cares. I repeat, see: “The Man.”) Either way, the overwhelming ridicule over the lyric “spelling is fun” as if the girl was truly serious rather than just trying to be silly was simply ridiculous. I wish Taylor could have just let the haters hate and instead just shake shake shake, but she succumbed to their criticism. RIP spelling is fun, I still have you on the original copy of the single I bought on iTunes and will cherish you forever.

17. IT’S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND

The shortest track on the album and the most hauntingly beautiful, “It’s Nice To Have A Friend” features a sample from students of Regent Park School of Music in Toronto. How fitting too, as it tells a tale of childhood love. Swift starts off the first verse by gently singing, “School bell rings, walk me home / sidewalk chalk covered in snow,” and then begins the final verse with, “Church bells ring, carry me home / rice on the ground, looks like snow.” The parallel between these verses highlights that at the end of the day, eternal love is really all about forever friendship, in all its forms.

18. DAYLIGHT

“Real love shines golden like starlight, and doesn’t fade or spontaneously combust. Maybe I’ll write a whole album about that kind of love if I ever find it,” Swift wrote in the prologue of the Red (2012) lyric booklet. Well, she did find it, as is evident throughout the entire album. But it’s stronger than starlight: “I once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden like daylight,” she sings on the final track of this album. In a perfect closing, Swift describes this love as the light at the end of a “twenty-year dark night.” Now that she has this love, she doesn’t want to look at anything else; she just wants to soak it all in. “Daylight” is hope; it is the message that things always get lighter eventually as long as you let love in. That love can be from anywhere: a parent, a friend, a lover, a song, an album, an inspiration. But you have to let go of the darkness, even when it's all you’ve known for so long, in order to embrace the new. Taylor did that, and we can all follow the daylight she now emits as our guide.

“I want to be defined by the things that I love,” she declares in a spoken ending. And I believe that this celebration of love through Lover will not only define her professional career, but also her personal legacy.

DISCLAIMER - REVIEWER’S BIAS: Taylor Swift is THE songwriter of our generation. This isn’t bias this is just a fact. Why Are You Booing Me I’m Right dot jpeg.

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infinite-rabbits · 4 years

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hey, hiii just wanted to ask about your thoughts/opinions on shadows character

Do you mean like.... Overall or how it’s been handled lately?

It also kinda depends on which version of Shadow. I mean, obviously from my set of 4 Shadows I have on my desk, I love him.

SO I guess we need to break it down.

Sonic Adventure 2 Shadow: I love this silly edgelord. He’s basically a teenager who’s also woken up from a really long nap. Have you ever had nap brain before? Because it sucks, and I like to think that’s part of why he’s so grumpy and also why he had so many memory problems. He might have been out of cryostasis, but his brain was still waking up. He’s moody, he’s probably going through hormone swings because, you know, teenager, and he’s trying to figure out where he stands in the world. This is the Shadow I was first introduced to when my cousin had the game system and I was watching him play it. I literally made my mom buy me a gamecube and the game because I wanted to play with Shadow. I’m always late to the game with stuff. I mean heck, I only just now started playing Sonic Forces and that’s been out since 2017, but this game REALLY impacted my view on the Sonic franchise.

Shadow in Shadow The Hedgehog: Okay so I know a lot of other people really hate his depiction in this game. They don’t like the idea of Shadow going THAT edge and liking guns and all of that stuff due to his PTSD with Maria. But honestly... I don’t mind it that much? Because there’s the whole thing about him having amnesia again or whatever. And what’s more interesting to look at from this game’s point of view is that, just like a lot of other things in the Sonic Franchise, it’s an AU. This is a choose your own adventure where you can literally decide if Shadow is going to freak out and go down the villain’s path, stay neutral and do his own thing, or realize that he needs his friends and go down the hero’s path. So even if you’re not super into him using guns, you could still have him go down that hero path and find his true self. Plus this thing has one of the most bangin’ theme songs Shadow’s ever had. Like all of his themes from games are pretty awesome, but I personally LOVE this one. Especially the extra m e t a l version by Little V.

Shadow in other games: He can be kind of hit-or-miss in the personality department here. You’ve got him in Sonic Heroes with amnesia... again. And possibly being an andriod. But honestly I love that “date to die for!” scene because it’s so dramatic! You’ve got him in Free Riders for some reason being willing to help Rouge get money in the race even though he’s never actually been willing to help before. In most games he’s just kinda sorta... there, and it feels like the writers don’t fully know what to do with him if he’s not the main focus of the game. There’s one big exception to that though:

Shadow in Sonic 06: The game everyone shits on, mostly just because of some of the graphics being shitty here and there in the actual gameplay and also the whole “Sonic hooking up with a human chick” thing. However, this is one of the best characterizations of Shadow. He cares about his friends, he gets given the support he needs, and in turn he also winds up giving that support to Silver. You know, after giving him a boot to the head. As bad as this game might have been, we did actually get relatively good character development for some of these characters, and Shadow was one of them. His willingness to do his part and take Silver “under his quills” as I’ve seen other people say, properly shows off his compassionate side rather than him just.... being dark and brooding. You know?

Boom Shadow: Eeeeh.... I’m not totally sure how to feel about this one? I love listening to his voice for sure. I like watching his fight scenes. But it feels like they’re making him edgy just for the sake of being edgy. And he’s really easily manipulated? I feel like, while Boom has done some great things with other characters, Shadow has gotten the short end of the stick. He’s kinda bland most of the time when it comes to his actual characterization, and he’s boiled down to a one-note kind of guy. So like, I don’t hate it but I really think I could do better.

IDK comics Shadow: They kinda did the same thing here. Shadow started out pretty darn great in that scene with Sonic and deciding what to do with Mr. Tinker. Seeing Sonic get under Shadow’s skin about it and making him back down was a great way of showing how the two have really gotten to understand each other over the years and that Sonic knows Shadow better than he’s willing to admit. That’s where my praise ends. Shadow then basically disappears until we get him back being stubborn as hell and jumping right into a pit of zombots and BOOM, just like that he’s taken out of the game. We’ll see how things go once this virus thing is over (because honestly I feel like it’s been lasting waaaay too long.) and if they use this to humanize him a bit more or if they keep him being super stubborn and one-note. But yeah, as of now I’m not super happy with how he’s been handled.

Shadow in the Archie Comics: HOO BOY I SAVED THE BEST ONE FOR LAST. And by best I mean worst. Where do I even begin with this one? Let me start by saying that I haven’t read all of the Archie comics yet. I’m working on it now, and I’m reading them somewhere online because they’re expensive as hell to get a hold of. But dear lord, this writing is usually horrible! Some of the writers work well together while others *cough*kenpenders*cough* don’t bother to read each other’s stories or will get pissy about their own plotlines not going anywhere and others having to fix them. Shadow is... yanked around so heavily in this series. In some stories, he’s great. He shows interesting characteristics and shows that he’s learning and growing. In others he’s just kinda.... there. In others he’s going completely against what he’s learned and is treating people like shit unless he’s manipulated to do otherwise. One of my absolute biggest complaint about the Archie series is: Tyrant Overlord King Shadow, from the 25/30 years later arch. It’s so bad, you guys. *disgruntled noises* Ken Penders basically had Shadow do a complete 180 despite everything he’s ever learned. He forcibly married Sally, became a tyrant of a king who ruled with an iron fist, and when Sonic kicked his ass and threw him in another stasis tube and he was brought back later, he unleashed this weird Tikal/Chaos creature out into the world to completely destroy it after feeding her so much chaos energy that he hurt her. Also the writer completely freaking forgot to actually END that story. Sonic and the New Freedom Fighters defeat and re-seal away “Tichaos,” but there’s no closure as to what happens to Shadow. It’s just Ken Penders going: “LOOK MY SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME OCS JUST SAVED THE DAY.” And it’s like.... okay, but what about Shadow? Did he escape? Is he still in the castle? Is there a second part to this? And sadly, that’s as far as I’ve read with that line and I don’t know if it got any further before they had to do the reboot. So yeah, Shadow is kinda shafted in these comics too.

Overall: I think he’s a really great character with a lot of wasted potential. He tends to shine more when the spotlight is fully on him because in that case, the writers realize they need to work on him more. But when he’s a side character, they boil him down to one-note and that’s really not a good thing to do with any character. (I should also note that I haven’t actually gotten to purchase the DLC yet of Shadow’s story for Sonic Forces, so I’ll need to go and watch the cut scenes before I can properly say anything on that particular game.)

The Sonic Franchise suffers overall from a case of: Too many characters. Now I wouldn’t change that about them, especially this late in the game. However we’ve been introduced to so many characters that none of them ever really get their chance in the spotlight anymore. Another artist that I can actually compare this to is actually VivziePop. She designs a LOT of characters for her works, and she puts so much effort into them that they all come across as “main character material” and completely overshadow the actual main character of the story. The biggest time that has impacted her work was in her comic Zoophobia. The main character was some human chick thrown into the world, but then she spent so long establishing all of the almost hundred characters she’d made for the world that the story itself felt like it de-railed. She’s gotten a bit better with Hazbin, but Charlie still gets really overshadowed. Some of the Archie comics got to be the same way. They had introduced so many characters at that point that they needed to do storylines that didn’t involve Sonic, and Ken Penders himself didn’t really like writing for Sonic because it was so restrictive, where as he had a lot of free reign with the other ones he’d made or that weren’t the main character. So he just kept making character after character to throw in there, and that combined with the characters we got from all of the assorted media over the years means a lot more characters to try and focus on. So the ones that don’t get their prime time in the spotlight just kinda never go anywhere. Also Shadow not being the main precious blue boy probably explains why his writing can be so wibbly-wobbly depending on the media he’s in. Because Sega isn’t breathing down anyone’s neck anywhere near as heavily as they are for Sonic.

I should probably stop typing now because I’ve written you a novel. XD

TL;DR: I love Shadow but he gets the shaft more often than not by the writers.

#long post #shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #archie comics #sega #sonic writing #Anonymous

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astonjones · 5 years

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HOLY SHIT IS THAT [ JESSE WILLIAMS ]?! Oh, wait it’s just [ ASTON JONES ]. Damn, [ HE/HIM ] looks good for [ 30 ], good thing that they’re [ PANSEXUAL/PANROMANTIC ], I might have a chance. I hear that they call them the [ PUBLIC DEFENDER ] of the [ NORTHSIDE ]. I guess that’s because they’re [ STRONG ] and [ COMPASSIONATE ]. But I don’t think a lot of people know that they’re also [ WORK AHOLIC ] and [ FOCUSED ]. I can’t wait to see what kind of trouble [ M ] will bring.

[[ trigger warning: childrens’ death.]]

00. Other Tidbits

Born and raised on the Northside.

Mother died in a car accident when he was three.

Father remarried when he was five to the woman he recognizes as his mother because she raised him.

(Step)Mom is mayor and used to practice corporate law and was a defense attorney. Dad is a moderately successful jazz musician who has rarely will come back to Riverdale from tour.

Went to Boston University for pre-law and U of M for law school, doing his clerkship with a judge in Boston and working with a non-profit for two years before coming back to Riverdale when the District Attorney, who was a family friend died. Took the DA job before realizing how the system was made to fail the Southsiders.

Was heavily involved in his mom’s campaign for Mayor and still runs a lot of her business for her and helps maintain family appearances in the trying times.

Reconnected Jackie St. James at one of his mother’s fundraisers and campaign parties as their families had been acquaintances prior to him leaving Riverdale.

While building his career in Riverdale, he continued to court, Jackie but because of the age gap between them, he never got in the way of her exploring and living a fun life.

After a few years of dancing around each other, the finally started dating and recently Aston asked Jackie to marry him.

Currently, they are living together at his place, while construction is being done on their future home, as a wedding gift from Jackie’s parents.

01. basics

Full Name: Aston Martin Jones

Nickname: As, Ast, Ash, Ace

Sex/Gender: Cis-Male

Birthday: October 20, 1988

Age: 30

Astrological Sign: Libra

Occupation: Public Defender

Spoken Languages: English and Spanish

Sexual Orientation: pansexual / panromantic

Birthplace: Riverdale, MA

Relationship status: Engaged to Jackie St. James

02. physical traits

Hair Color/Style: Dark brown, black, kept short or often shaved completely especially in the summer.

Eye Color: Color changing. Green/Grey/Blue

Face Claim: Jesse Williams

Height: 6'2 / 188cm

Weight: 175lbs / 79kg

Tattoos: none.

Piercings: none.

Unique Attributes: freckles that cover the bridge of his nose and cheeks, more prominent in the summer. Slight dimples in his cheeks when he smiles.

Defining Gestures/Movements: Almost has a resting prick face. When he is lost in thought,

Posture: Straight, ridged and formal unless around someone he trusts or can be casual around.

03. personality traits

Pet Peeves: People who are rude for the sake of being rude. People who yell at customer service employees. Anyone who supports Trump or thinks BLM is a terrorist organization. Anyone who says “All Lives Matter”. People who talk for the sake of hearing their own voice. People who would rather remain ignorant and spread their ignorance around rather than ask questions or get the facts. Showboating, nepotism, narcissism, and elitism. Senseless violence and hotheads. People who talk with food in their mouth and general bad manners.

Hobbies/Interests: Plant hoarding/Plant care. Activism and fighting injustices. Volunteering at animal shelters. Cooking.

Special Skills/Abilities: Fairly decent cook. An artist, with a particular talent for drawing and painting.

Likes: good music, good food, good people and good company. Also really likes his new Roomba that doesn’t have a name yet.

Dislikes: See pet peeves. Also, pineapple on pizza. Food that is too spicy. The color orange. The smell of vanilla.

Insecurities: Not being good enough to help anyone. Not living up to his family expectations and pressure to help carry the load of the put on to their family. Recently, also his age or seeming like someone trying to obtain a young trophy wife in Jackie. Though he knows she is not a trophy, he can’t help but notice the way people will look at him at the club.

Quirks/Eccentricities: Can be a real diva and be a little much when it comes to house plants.

Strengths: Compassion and deep caring for everyone around him.

Weaknesses: He can be obsessive and overly consumed by things – especially when it comes to work matters or something that makes him happy. Aston has been described more than once as being like a dog with a bone. Unable to allow anyone to question or criticize his mom and her job as mayor.

Speaking Style: Articulate, and concise due to his job. Due to his job, he can’t afford to be careless with his words, or else it could cost someone their life.

Temperament: Calm and collected.

04. family & home

Immediate Family: Miles Jones (Father), Sierra Jones (Step-Mom), Mercedes Jones (half-sister)

How do they feel about their family? He absolutely loves his family.

How does their family feel about them? All good things, one would hope.

Pets: A lot of house plants and a Roomba as well as a dog that Jackie picked out at the animal shelter that she refused to stop pouting about until they could bring it home.

Where do they live? A custom house design and built by his architect grandfather.

Description of their home: [ HERE ] [ HERE ] [ HERE ] [ HERE ]

Description of their bedroom: [ HERE ]

05. this or that

Introvert or Extrovert?

Optimist or Pessimist?

Leader or Follower?

Confident or Self-Conscious?

Cautious or Careless?

Religious or Secular?

Passionate or Apathetic?

Book Smarts or Street Smarts?

Compliments or Insults?

Pajamas or Lingerie? Naked

06. favorites

Favorite Color: black, brown, yellow.

Favorite Clothing Style/Outfit: for work suits, after work sweats, hoodies and athletic wear.

Favorite Bands/Songs/Type of Music: Hip-hop, jazz, R&B,

Favorite Movies: Remember the Titans, The Pursuit of Happiness

Favorite Books: The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration In The Age Of Colorblindness

Favorite Foods/Drinks: All foods and drinks.

Favorite Sports/Sports Teams: Celtics, Red Sox, Patriots

Favorite Time of Day: Sunrise

Favorite Weather/Season: Warm weather and Spring

Favorite Animal: All animals

07. miscellaneous

Fears/Superstitions: Normal ones that come with being a Christian and having a Mama who would put the fear of God into you if you didn’t go to church every Sunday or thank God every night for your many blessings.

Political Views: Liberal Democrat.

Addictions: Working on cases. Can never really let go of a case, especially ones that involve disadvantaged Southsiders of color and undocumented citizens.

Best School Subject: Art and History

Worst School Subject: Math.

School Clubs/Sports: Chess Club, AV Club, Basketball, Football, Baseball, Mock Trial, Model UN.

How does he get money? Works as a Public Defender in Riverdale. Also has family money.

How is he with technology? As decent as a man in his 30′s can be.

08. past & future

Fondest Memory: When his dad would come home from tours during the holidays and they would all go to see Mercedes and her group perform. Also, the day that he asked Jackie to marry him and she said yes.

Deepest, Darkest Secret: Feels a lot of guilt over his privilege and often thinks about just casting everything away, selling it all and giving it to the NAACP. Often also feels smothered by the pretenses his family has to keep up in order to save face in times of crisis.

Dream Vacation: Somewhere tropical.

Best thing that has ever happened to this character: Being able to become someone who could help.

Worst thing that has ever happened to this character: Losing an immigration case where two kids were involved. The parents were deported and the kids were put into the system. A few weeks later, Aston read in the paper that the kids had been killed by their foster parents.

What do they want to be when they grow up? An artist. Aston has always had a fondness for painting and drawing but as he grew older, he realized that it wasn’t a logical career choice and his father only really left room in their family for one artist.

Perfect Date: His wedding day.

#[[ ooc: gotta repost it for a new blog ]]#gdhqintro #about

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thisspaceintentionallyleftblank · 6 years

Text

Try, Try Again

This is a Rex lives AU where, at the end of the movie, the flux capacitor is not destroyed, and Rex escapes to the past. This time, he arrives early, disguises himself, and takes Emmet’s place in Apocalypseburg. In this way, he plans to toughen Emmet up while simultaneously keeping a closer eye on Lucy.

I have not ever done fanfiction before... so hopefully this turned out okay!

Chapter 1 (2668 words)

The Rexcelsior appeared in a brilliant flash of light, with bright bolts of raw electric power coursing across its hull before flickering away into nothingness. The ship, despite the dark blue of its exterior, stood in stark contrast against the backdrop of space due to the faint glow of its many humming engines. Inside, pacing back and forth across the main control bridge, an increasingly anxious Rex was attempting to re-evaluate his master plan.

He had come much too close to failure for comfort. If he hadn’t used his Deus Ex Block-ina at the last moment in order to teleport back to the ship, then Lucy could have very well destroyed his flux capacitor and, by extension, everything that he’d worked and suffered for. His scowl deepened at the thought of all that planning, effort, and pain flushed down the drain because simply because he’d failed to properly prepare for every possibility.

The weight of failure sat heavily on his shoulders. It’s not fair, he thought. I was so close. His plan had been so perfect, and he’d carried out the execution flawlessly. Tricking Emmet and destroying the Queen’s space temple had been child’s play. All they had left to do was make a clean getaway, but… everything had just started falling apart.

Rex hadn’t wanted to take Emmet to Dryar. If he had had any other option, he wouldn’t have. But, of course, Emmet hadn’t given him a choice, had he? Emmet was just being stubborn; he just didn’t understand.

Rex couldn’t be blamed for that.

He stopped pacing. The repetitive motion had started making him nauseous at some point. With a weary, tough-guy sigh, he walked over to the main console. The instruments adorning the dash lit the room with a soft, ambient blue glow. On top of them sat the Block-ina, a conveniently pocket-sized tool that apparently taken up the worrisome habit of intermittently spitting out sparks and smoke sometime between now and when Rex had first left it here.

Another sigh escaped Rex at the sight of how badly it had been damaged. He wasn’t especially broken up over the loss of the device, after all it had served its purpose well, and he could just build another one pretty easily.

Of course, he thought bitterly, I wouldn’t have even needed to use it if it hadn’t had been for... her.

He had been surprised when Lucy had shown up in Undar, having never entertaining the thought that she might have followed him. Thinking about it made something in his gut twist uncomfortably. She must have… It was… She had probably come there to stop him personally, right? Finding Emmet was just a nice bonus, was all. That made a lot more sense, in Rex’s opinion. After all, Lucy had always been about the world-saving, rebel hero aesthetic. The knot in his gut unraveled, content with his explanation.

However, if Lucy was willing to go that far in trying to save the world, then Rex couldn’t afford to let her get the drop on him a second time. He would just need to keep a closer eye on her this time.

Rex smiled, an easy cocksure grin. A new plan started formulating in his mind, one in which he could easily arrange to keep watch on Lucy, with her being none the wiser.

“COBRA!” He barked out, turning away from the console. A nearby raptor stopped typing, twisting her long neck to look over in his direction.

“Give me a current time readout on the Giant Screen.” At his command, the raptor nodded and clicked a few buttons on her keyboard. Turning back to the windshield, Rex watched as the display flickered to life, printing out the date in an oversized, white, blocky font.

JUNE 4TH | 06:20 | MONDAY

Rex hummed in approval. “Excellent work, team. Looks like we’ve got a whole week left before Our-mom-agedon starts.” With a smug grin, Rex leaning onto the dashboard, adopting a particularly cavalier pose. “Obviously,” he continued, “that’s waaay more time than I’ll need to work my magic.”

A raptor screeched from somewhere in one of the weapon hangers. “Does that mean we could take a day off?”

Rex laughed.

“No.”

If raptors could sigh in resignation, they would have done so now. As it was, they settled for screeching slightly quieter. Unfazed, Rex continued with some gratuitous exposition.

“Here’s the plan, squad. We should begin to break orbit over Apocalypseburg shortly after o’eight hundred hours. At that time, we’ll activate the super secret cloaking technology that I lifted from Wonder Woman’s invisible jet. Once we’ve landed, I’ll find Emmet and get him onboard.”

One of the raptors screeched up at him questioningly. “How will we find Emmet?”

Another raptor, one standing near the fax machine, screeched back. “I could make wanted posters!”

“No need,” Rex replied dismissively. “It’s a Monday.” Mondays were Lucy’s day to patrol the wasteland, which meant that she and Emmet would have to hang out in the morning, before she left. Usually that meant that he that Emmet would start his day off with a coffee run and then meet up with her afterwards.

“If we play our cards right, which of course we will, then we can intercept him at the base of the Statue of Un-Liberty.” Rex tapped a few of the console’s controls, pulling up a large digital map of Apocalypseburg. A blinking red dot appeared at the spot he’d described.

“Everyone got that?” Rex asked, watching as a sea of raptor heads started bobbing up and down in affirmation. “Awesome. Start bringing us into orbit then. Meanwhile, Ripley, Connor, I want you two to start readying the cloaking device.” The raptors screeched to confirm their orders, and then turned to their respective workstations with a renewed sense of urgency.

Leaving them to their tasks, Rex once more turned his attention to the windshield. The sounds of raptor noises and clicking keyboards seemed to fade into the distance. Somewhere beyond the dark glass, Apocalypseburg was waiting. With a start, Rex realized that, after everything that had happened to him, he’d gotten so distracted with time travel and scheming that he had just, never bothered trying to go home.

For a moment, he wondered when exactly that had stopped being one of his goals.

At the thought, a cold, hollow feeling seeped into his chest. It was an almost alien sensation, one that he thought he had left behind in the deserts of Undar. Fortunately, Rex was tough now. He knew how to deal with these kinds of feelings, how to patch and fill the places of him that felt empty. His tool of choice, anger, had never failed him yet.

Summoning strength from his internal well of rage, Rex clenched his fists at his sides and forced his mouth into a vicious grin.

I’m going back home, he thought, and those suckers aren’t gonna know what hit ‘em.

*******************

The sun was shining in Apocalypseburg this morning. Sure, it shone every morning, to the point that it had long since baked the ground into desert sands, but that fact didn’t mean that Emmet couldn’t enjoy a little bit of morning sunshine.

As usual, electronic strains of music were playing in his ears as Emmet jauntily made his way towards the giant statue on the edge of town. He was beginning to consider singing along with the peppy song when something else suddenly drew his attention.

It had only lasted for a second, but Emmet would have sworn he’d just seen a shooting star. Instinctively, he squeezed his eyes shut, concentrating on his wish.

More wishes, he thought as hard as he could, more wishes, more wishes, mo-

“Hey there, buddy!”

Emmet’s eyes snapped open at the sound of someone’s voice. Sure enough, standing in front of him was a stranger, some guy in blue, with disheveled hair and a cocky grin.

“Whoa,” Emmet whispered to himself. Something about this stranger seemed to exude charisma and toughness. Maybe it had something to do with the way he was trying to inconspicuously flex his biceps. Whatever it was, Emmet was definitely intrigued.

“Hi there!” He shouted, causing the stranger to flinch slightly at his volume. Abashedly, Emmet shrugged off his headphones.

“Sorry about that, friendo,” he chuckled. “Um, but my name’s Emmet! What’s your name? Are you new here? I feel like I’ve never seen you before. Which is weird because I know like, everybody here.” Emmet bobbed up and down in excitement.

“Whoa, whoa, slow down there, compadre!” The stranger laughed as he strolled towards Emmet, stopping at his side and giving him a friendly, albeit rather forceful, slap on the back.

“Oh,” Emmet jolted forwards from the impact, juggling his cups in an attempt to not drop either of them. “Sorry about that.”

“Why don’t you just take a breath, and I’ll introduce myself.” The stranger walked over to a nondescript hunk of debris, kicking a foot up onto it and striking a cool pose - one which would have likely made a dope freeze frame.

“The name’s Rex Dangervest,” he announced loudly. “Ace spaceship pilot, world-class dinosaur trainer, and all-around tough guy extraordinaire.”

He took a dramatic pause, before stepping back down, and continuing. “And, I've been looking for you, Emmet.”

“For me?” Emmet asked incredulously. “But why?” For a moment, his face grew uncharacteristically serious. “Did Jeff send you?”

“No, no, no,” Rex replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I’m just a big fan of yours.”

“A fan of mine?” Emmet’s jaw dropped. “But why?”

“Well, you’re the Special, right? Emmet Brickowski? The guy that saved the universe from Lord Business five years ago?” Rex stepped in closer, swinging an arm around Emmet’s shoulder.

“I… I guess?” Emmet sputtered. “I wasn’t really the Special though, you know.”

“So what,” Rex shrugged nonchalantly, causing Emmet to glance up in disbelief.

“So- So what? But it- that- I wasn’t really a hero! That’s so what. I know you’re new here, but seriously, just ask anyone and they’ll tell you that I’m not.”

“Really?” Rex asked, a hard edge entering his tone.

“Yeah,” Emmet’s voice grew soft, as he lowered his gaze. “I’m, um, not tough enough, they say.”

Rex hummed thoughtfully, stroking at his chin in a deliberately pensive motion. “Not tough enough, huh?”

“Yeah,” Emmet replied. “I mean, I don’t really get it, if I’m being honest. Personally, I’m not a fan of all the spikes and stuff, but still. It’s what everyone says.”

“What if I could fix that?”

“What do you mean?” Emmet looked back up at Rex, who was grinning widely now. What a friendly guy, Emmet thought.

“What if I could help you become tougher? Become the guy that all your friends want you to be?” Something eager bubbled up in Rex’s voice as he asked.

“I don’t- ”

“Become the guy that Lucy wants you to be?”

In retrospect, this should have been the moment that Emmet realized something was terribly wrong about this interaction. There was no way that this stranger could have known Lucy’s name. However, in the moment, his thoughts were somewhere else. Yesterday, he’d asked Lucy if he might be able to patrol with her, just once. She’d said no, on the grounds that “things can get like, really real out there, Emmet”. He saw the look in her eyes, like she was kind of scared for him, or maybe just disappointed in him. He saw that look a lot recently.

But, if he was tough… like Rex was promising… then maybe things could change.

“Okay,” Emmet said, his newfound conviction clear in his voice

“Hah! You made the right choice, kid.” Rex reached up and ruffled Emmet’s hair with a gloved hand. “Come on then, and I’ll show you to my ship.” Rex started to walk off, with his arm still around Emmet’s shoulder, but Emmet didn’t move to follow.

“Oh, um,” Emmet muttered, as Rex turned to look at him suspiciously. “It’s just… I’ve got to meet up with Lucy first. I always get her a morning coffee before we hang out and talk. But, uh, if I explain that I can’t stay today, she’ll totally understand.”

“Emmet, I want you to take a look at this.” Rex reached into one of his vest pockets, pulling out a small, colorful flyer. Emblazoned across the front was an advertisement for Rex Dangervest’s Toughness Seminar and Obstacle Course.

“Can you tell me what it says in the small print at the bottom?” Rex asked, pushing the paper towards Emmet’s face.

“Um, it says ‘A Once in a Lifetime Opportunity’.”

“That’s right.” Rex’s voice was low and serious. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Do you know what that means, Emmet?”

“That one of my shooting star wishes came true?”

“No, Emmet. It means that I’m only going to make this offer once.” Rex’s grip tightened on Emmet’s shoulder. “If you don’t come with me now, then you’ll be stuck as a soft, hufflepuff loser forever.”

Dread pooled in Emmet’s gut at the thought. A future of disappointing his friends? When the chance to make them proud was right here?

“I mean, I guess Lucy will understand if I have to miss one hang out sesh...”

Rex’s benevolent smile returned. “Exactly! And think about how happy she’ll be when you show her how tough you’ve gotten.”

“Yeah!” Emmet cheered. “You’re right! And then we can hang out even more because I could do patrols with her and the other guys.”

“Totally,” Rex agreed. And, while maintaining his firm grip on Emmet, the two walked off into the desert.

*******************

It wasn’t very far to the Rexcelsior, but it still took a while. Rex had made it to Emmet so fast earlier because he’d done a super cool flip out of the hanger bay while the ship was still a few hundred feet above ground. Of course, that meant that now Rex wasn’t… super sure where the ship was parked. Fortunately, the Rexcelsior like most top of the line vehicles had come with a keychain dongle that made the ship beep obnoxiously whenever pressed. Rex had pawned the thing off on Emmet, who seemed pretty content with pressing the button over and over. In return, Rex had taken one of the coffee cups and started helping himself to its contents.

Emmet wasn’t really drinking from his cup anymore. Rex had said that drinking black coffee was the first step to becoming tough, but the caustic, bitter taste was making it a pretty tricky first step to master. Little sips made it much more tolerable, but also unfortunately made the drink take even longer. Emmet’s own cup must have been pretty bad too, seeing as how Rex kept making comments about how gross and sugary it was. He had finished it awfully fast, though.

Probably because he’s already so tough, Emmet thought, taking another tiny sip of his still disappointing coffee.

When he next pressed the dongle button, the previously distant beeping was much closer than he’d expected.

“We’re here.” Rex said, as he took the keychain back from Emmet’s hand and stepped past him.

“Really?” Emmet asked, looking around in confusion. “So, is your ship just like… really small?”

Rex snickered. “Not quite.” As if on cue, the ship materialized, looming impressively over the two men.

Emmet gasped, and continued to gasp for such a long time that it almost seemed like an action designed to garner laughter from an adoring studio audience. Rex stood nearby, patiently waiting for him to run out of air.

“This,” Rex gestured dramatically once he had regained Emmet’s attention, “is the Rexcelsior - the absolute toughest ship in the universe.”

A panel hissed open behind him, prompting Emmet to gasp once again. With a huff, Rex took his arm, pulling the two of them together into the maw of the ship. Once through, the door slid shut behind them, and the ship vanished back into transparency.

#the lego movie 2 #lego movie 2 #tlm2 #tlm2 spoilers #rex dangervest #emmet brickowski #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm very nervous #both about posting this and also just in general honestly #but! I'm! posting! it! anyways!

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disbestiles-blog · 7 years

Text

Enchanted 06 - Pool’s day

Dylan O’Brien x Reader AU / Word count: 2,261

Summary: The Reader doesn't have sure about what to do in your life and after she gives time to College she moves to LA to try new things in your life. She ends up getting a role on a TV show and one of the cast members is your favorite actor, Dylan O'Brien. Despite him was dating, they start to approach and gets harder to keep just a friendship.

Warnings: a lot of suspense and a few hot tension but it's worth.

A/N: Guys I love this chapter with all my heart and I feel anxious and nervous every single turn that I revising. I really hope that you enjoy it and let me know if you like or not, just talking to me ok? I need this feedback.

Part 1, Part 2 , Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 (you are here), Part 7

I woke up with a well-deserved headache that morning. I didn't imagine that the few shots I had taken would leave me that way, but at least it had been worth the night. It was already noon, but Olivia had not yet awakened. I couldn't blame her, both of us made the most of the party. I decided to make coffee because my body didn't work without the daily fuel even though it was lunchtime. When I was finishing up the coffee Olivia woke up, clearly also feeling the effect of the hangover.

- Good morning "miss tequila!" - I said - Since when do you have such an irritating voice Y/N? - Uow where did come from this bad morning humor? I thought you were already familiarized with nights like this. - With the nights yes but with the morning, not so much.

We sat down at the table to drink coffee and we began to comment on the events of the party that had been very good, by the way. Olivia couldn't wait to ask:

- So when are you going to start telling me about what happened on that balcony last night? I hope they are hot things!

I knew it would be inevitable to have to talk about it with Olivia, of course, I wanted to tell her a lot, but that meant having to remember what happened at the party and until that moment I was trying to avoid it.

- I'm sorry to disappoint you but if no bottle had broken maybe I would have more interesting things to tell.

Olivia looked at me, surprise as if she were extremely sorry:

- I'm sorry Y/N/N! I ... I can't believe I disturbed you! - Relax I'm kidding! But nothing happened we just ... talk.

I told her everything that had happened: over the almost kiss and even about Dylan saying "Can I see you outside of work?". Everything was confusing to me. Why had he gone to the party without his girlfriend? Because he almost kissed me and why the hell would he call me to get out if he's dating? Things didn't fit into that story and I began to worry if he was a bad person. Of course, I don't really believe this, he was very gentle and not a kind that deceived people but I didn't know him closely to know. For Olivia there was nothing wrong with that situation, according to her, he came to the party alone because he was dissatisfied with the relationship or something like that when did he get here, he liked me and so almost kissed me. Which for her did not make him bad, just needy? I didn't know what could be, but I didn't agree with Olivia's theory either. Even if she was right I would not feel good about staying with him knowing he had someone else. When Olivia and I were in the middle of our conversation my phone started ringing: it was my mother.

We talked for about 40 minutes and put the matter up. After I finished the call Olivia had roast a lasagna, practical and yummy. We started watching a movie that was playing on TV when I noticed a message from an unknown number on my cell phone. I looked at Olivia excitedly, it was a message from Dylan.

DYLAN: Hey! How you're doing? Y/N: I'm great! After a good coffee there's no tequila that can hold it and you? DYLAN: 😂😂😂 DYLAN: I'm good! How about a round of games in a bar today?

I was shocked. Was he calling me get out? How was that possible? As if he knows my hesitation in answering, he said

DYLAN: It's no big deal, just a little fun with some friends. I guarantee you will like it!

I thought a little and before I was scared I decided to say yes.

Y/N: Okay,right! Which address? DYLAN: It's close to your house, I can pick you up if you want. Y/N: I think I'd rather go by taxi. DYLAN: Okay, I'll send the location! I'll wait you at 8 PM

Olivia was very excited by my side and she started to say again about her theory. I still didn't agree with that. Would be just a hang out with friends right?! It's not a date and he doesn't mention couples so I guess that would be a common Saturday night. Maybe there were other cast people there. I spent the rest of the afternoon resting and wandering the internet, which worked well to distract me. When it was the appointed time, I began to dress. I choose a chess romper suit that seemed like a dress. Was a very comfortable clothe and match with my favorite boots. I left my hair loose and picked up a small purse.

The cab came fast and the driver could find easily the place where I gave the address. I preferred to go alone than with Dylan so as not to cause any embarrassing situation for both of us. The bar looked very lively and crowded despite being in a quieter Los Angeles location. I entered and soon saw Dylan with several friends around a pool table. No sign of a girlfriend. He saw me coming and came to meet me, greeting me with a kiss on the cheek.

- Finally! I thought you wouldn't come to Y/N/N! Can I call you of Y/N/N? - Sure, why not ?! - Come with me, I want to introduce you to my friends.

We went to the pool table where he introduced me to all his friends. There was a couple, Asher and Lola and two brothers, Ethan and Paige. They were excited and welcomed me as if I had known him for years. After we finished the introductions, I settled down to watch them play. Dylan came up with two bottles of beer in his hand, offering one for me.

- I didn't ask what you wanted before but I have a slight impression that I chose right! - Yes, definitely. Thank you!

I got the beer and we toast before drinking. One of his friends approached with a pool cue in his hand, his name was Ethan if I had memorized well.

- Y/N do you play pool? - It's been a long time since the last time that I played but I know some things. - You wanna try to play? Let's see if you're any luckier than our friend here - he said pointing at Dylan - he's not doing very well today.

Dylan snorted and got up quickly picking up his club and going towards the table.

- I was holding back my talent Ethan but that's enough! It's okay for you be my partner Y/N/N? - Fine but only if you're not a loser okay?

He narrowed his eyes, smiling, realizing my tone of irony. I didn't remember the last time I played pool so I didn't have much practice but I still loved a challenge. I approached the table and picked out a taco. Dylan was standing next to me, close enough for me to smell her perfume. Ethan started the first shot, he and his sister would be left with the oddballs, me and Dylan with the pairs. After a few rounds and pocketed balls, there was only ball number one. It was my turn and I thought a little before playing. It would be hard to hit, even under pressure. I cast a worried look at Dylan who came over to help me.

- The secret is the way you stand, let me show you.

He guided me to the middle of the table with his hand on my waist and positioned himself next to me, his body close to mine. He placed his hand lightly on my back so that I leaned over the table and with his arms around me he positioned the club in the exact direction that the ball was. Our faces were glued and I could feel your beard still badly made on my cheeks. He guided the shot, hitting it with precision. As if by impulse I grabbed him for a hug to which he returned, also commemorating our little victory.

- Congratulations on the move, you form a good pair! - Ethan said waking us up from our little celebration.

I thanked him, clearly embarrassed by this situation, but tried don't think about it too much. Dylan smiled in agreement and winked at me. I felt my body stay warm, I couldn't deny how attractive I was. I was holding my thoughts but was getting hard. Why he was acting like that, as if he was flirting with me, for the all night? It's was just part of the charm of being who he was? I decided to go to the bathroom to get some air and recover some of the consciousness. After we played a few more rounds and talked a lot, Ethan said he was leaving, which led the whole group to leave as well. I said goodbye to everyone and promised to go out with them more often, the evening had been very fun.

Dylan made a point of paying the bill but I insisted until he agreed to split. We walked to the exit and when I was already picking up the phone to call a taxi, he interrupted me.

- Can I take you home? Consider this as a gift because you played so well today. - Oh, you were lucky to play with me. I'm very competitive.

He smiled biting his lips and looking at me as he did on the balcony the night of the party. I've never been attracted to light, mysterious eyes like most people but I was very attracted to those brown eyes. I decided to accept the ride. He opened the door and I step into his car.

He put a song to play, I didn't remember the name but knew it was of Ed Sheeran. The road to my house was quiet and we talked about Los Angeles and how much the city was beautiful at night. Dylan must have sensed my fascination with the view:

- You seem to enjoy watching these landscapes. - You're right. My mother taught me to see meanings in them, since then, I love to think about it. Calms me. - And is there something that's making you nervous?

He said looking at me, with some doubt in his face, certainly already knowing the answer. Although I was starting to feel comfortable with him something still bothered me.

- Not nervous, just... curious.

He nodded quietly, his gaze now totally focused on the direction. A few minutes later we arrived at my house, Dylan got out of the car, opened the door and began to accompany me to the building. When we got to the door, I started to say goodbye.

- Dylan the night was great! Thank you very much for the invite me! - Ur welcome! I hope I convince you faster next time. - Uuh maybe... but sure, probably yes.

We both laughed and stay halt there. I didn't know how to say goodbye without showing how much he was shaking me.

- Y/N I guess I need to give you some explanations ... - All right, Dylan, you've known me a short time. It's not like you have to give me satisfaction or anything. - But I feel like I can trust you and I think you need to know what's really going on.

My heart hesitated for a moment what makes me more anxious. What was he trying to say?

- I am no longer in a relationship as some people think, I'm not totally committed. We're not doing anything wrong, okay ?! - But we're really not doing anything. What do you mean by that?

I didn't want to look curious but that information had confused me. A little happy, but confused.

- It's complicated but I can explain to you calmly some day. I just, you know, I want to clarify this with you because now I can say goodbye the way I should have done yesterday.

He moved closer, one of his hands going up to my neck and the other at my waist, drawing my body closer to his. I thought of resisting but my mind seemed focused to respond all the urges caused by him. Our gazes met until that we kissed, taking away all confusion. His kiss was sweet, slow but very, very intense. Maybe, like me, he'd been yearning for it all night. I let myself go for the kiss, for the strong way he held me as if I could run away at any moment even though I had no intention of doing that. Our faces moved away, but he remained close to me, still a little breathless.

- Now, are we doing something? - He whispered. - I couldn't say no.

I answered with a smile, this time safe and without any trace of anxiety. We approached for another kiss before we said goodbye, promising to talk calmly afterward. I went into the building and saw his car disappear as it met the horizon at the end of the street. Every landscape had a meaning and that one had just gained a special well for me.

MASTERLIST / Let me know if you be tagged ;)

#dylan o'brien #dylan o'brien imagines #dylan imagines #dylan o'brien x reader #dylan o'brien series #stiles stilinski #stiles stilinksi imagine #stiles stilinksi x reader #teen wolf #american assassin #mitch rapp #the maze runner #maze runner #dylan o'brien fanfic #dylan o'brien fanfict #dylan o'brien fanfiction #dylan o'brien au

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mymusicalitylove · 4 years

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Dive

In my feels. Trying to be productive and direct them in a positive way.

The other night I feel like I broke because the latest disappointment (that I created for myself), came to the surface. I took a hot shower, cried and told myself to let it all go. Hardest I have cried in a long time because I replayed a lot of scenarios about this endless loop I seem to be stuck in: I give up on this notion called ‘love’, discard it and begin to focus elsewhere.. then along comes another unsuspecting fool that says all the right things to get me twitterpated and caught up in the fantasies my brain creates. I get sucked in and think, ok, maybe this will go somewhere.. just to BAM! Slam my face into a wall of unending disappointment. Wash, rinse, repeat. It feels as though this scene has been on replay about eleventeen times over these last few years, and all I can say is: How. Fucking. Stupid (Who is the REAL fool? Ya, that’s me).

I went to bed after my therapeutic shower and slept ok, but kept waking up. I finally decided to get up and be productive, and had Ed Sheeran’s “Dive” stuck in my head. Hadn’t heard it in a while so I’m not sure where it came from, but it stayed with me the entire morning.

My entries on this thing almost always relate to music and how the lyrics relate to my life. I’ve saved some drafts with songs I’ve wanted to write about later. When I realized I wasn’t going back to sleep, I decided to write; I checked my drafts and whoa.. “Dive” was already on there.. I don’t even remember saving it.

(Despite there being a few too many typos for my taste in this post above, I feel it, Rising Woman!)

September 2019 is the most notable time I can remember starting the self-destructive cycle. My boss left at work and I decided I needed to do something to change my life up. I put all my energy into planning my amazing sabbatical in Italy. Everything was set up; all the wheels were in motion for me to see Europe, do me selfishly, and not worry about shit! In my mind I put together plans of sightseeing, concerts, volunteering, gymming, wandering, and getting lost in the country I fell in love with a year prior.

In October on a night out with friends, I met an EMT at a bar. He worked his bullshit game, and did it well because he was intriguing. He made me feel good over a two hour convo that honestly felt like a first date, and convinced me to give him the digits (which I don’t freely give to strangers). Too bad the man never called. Womp, womp.

After a taste of those vibes I craved that “feeling” again. I tried a dating app again for a couple months. In a comical turn of events, said dating app matched me with this same EMT! This presented me with the opportunity to call his ass out, and incidentally feel validated as to why it actually was better he never called. Talked to a few other guys on the app, but really can only report on a couple stupid funny anecdotes of just how sad it is that guys don’t know how to talk to women anymore. At least this time I wasn’t taking it seriously and only did it for shits and giggles. Decided okay, just keep focusing on plans for Italy, stacking that paper, and looking forward to the new year (*point and laugh at the idiot who had no idea what 2020 had in store!*).

In January a boy (with a girlfriend) who I’d had innocent flirtation vibes with for a while tells me he’s now single. I had already placed him in the “not gonna happen” folder, and his confession obviously began a different wave of chemistry and banter for months. We had a conversation about the reality of where I am/what I’m ready for, and where he’s at/what he’s not ready for. Oh, and in the midst of all this, Covid hits and I have to make the heartbreaking decision to cancel Italy and deal with the feels of defeat that followed. And let’s also add all the sadness of being stuck with only me, myself and my thoughts in quarantine.

One last convo in April with “previously not gonna happen” sealed the deal of this endless string of flirtation not going anywhere and back in that folder he went. I then decided to give my number to this other guy who had shown interest a while back (but I hadn’t paid him any mind cuz I was stuck on folder guy). New dude didn’t really engage, so I disregarded him again, and worked on rearranging my place, organizing, decorating, spring cleaning and purging. Fast forward to now, it’s June and new dude comes back to work, asks to hang out, we have a great first “date” lasting three hours, and now here I am less than two weeks later wondering what happened. New dude: MIA / Me: WTF?

I truly do not understand why this cycle continues. Each time I feel like I get closer to something real, just to be lead into feeling like a fucking moron. I can’t stand it anymore, and it honestly makes me want to go back to being guarded and jaded, but I know that’s not the right way to find anyone. So I open up and allow some level of vulnerability, even though I’m scared af cuz of how hard I fell five years ago with the man I thought I was going to marry.

This is gonna hurt, but I blame myself first

'Cause I ignored the truth

Drunk off that love, my head up

There's no forgetting you

You've awoken me, but you're choking me

I was so obsessed

It was a matter of time

But you are the fire, I'm gasoline

Gave you all of me, and now honestly, I got nothing left

'Cause I loved you dangerously

More than the air that I breathe

Knew we would crash at the speed that we were going

Didn't care if the explosion ruined me

Baby, I loved you dangerously

I learned a lot from that short but impactful relationship. It was the love of my life and I went into it with complete abandon. I loved him dangerously. Things felt “right” and escalated quickly, which lead to our demise because we did not explore all the things before going full force into a relationship. We mutually thought this was “it” and talked about the future we would have. It completely broke me to end things, and upon rebuilding the pieces of me, I promised myself I would never rush into things like that again.

I know that I do it to myself, but I guess I don’t know how else to do it. If I’m closed off and guarded, I’m not welcoming anything in; if I’m open and vulnerable, I start to dream in fantasyland with expectations just to be let down and end up inevitably disappointed. I clearly don’t know how to find the balance that works and it has become maddening beyond words.

I need to find that balance, and it would be a lot easier to find in non-Covid times where I could have something else to focus my precious energy on, rather than wanting to find “my person”.

Maybe I came on too strong

Maybe I waited too long

Maybe I played my cards wrong

Oh, just a little bit wrong

Baby I apologize for it

I could fall or I could fly here in your aeroplane

And I could live, I could die

Hanging on the words you say

And I've been known to give my all

And jumping in harder than ten thousand rocks on the lake

So don't call me baby unless you mean it

Don't tell me you need me if you don't believe it

So let me know the truth

Before I dive right into you

And I've been known to give my all

And lie awake, everyday don't know how much I can take

I could fall, or I could fly here in your aeroplane

And I could live, I could die

Hanging on the words you say

And I've been known to give my all

Sitting back, looking at every mess that I made

This new dude made me really feel this. I tend to fall, and fall hard because I am so ready to give my heart to someone. But I need to put on the brakes and slow my damn roll.

I can’t keep getting my hopes up. That is ultimately my problem. I tell myself to not have expectations and I do well to begin with, then have an amazing connection and am fed (what is obviously) bullshit and fall for it like a moron. I have grown thicker skin this time around, so at least there’s that.. but hopefully this has been my last lesson.

I have found a new diversion for my focus and just put in my first offer for a new home! This will be my new passion project and will take up my thoughts and energies for a while, so as freaked tfo as I am, I am equally excited for this new venture. If it’s meant to be, it will be, and if it’s not, my new little home is out there somewhere not ready for me yet.

06/19/2020 - 11:51 PM

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erika-writes · 7 years

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below is a list of 16 plots based off every song on hopeless fountain kingdom by halsey. i put a lyric blurb for each one but each plot is based heavily on the songs as a whole. some of these are very cliche but they’re just a base for an idea!

tw: there are mature themes, potential drugs and violence and talk of toxic relationships.

01. the prologue–

i am a child of a money hungry, prideful country grass is green and it's always sunny hands so bloody, tastes like honey i’m finding it hard to leave

muse a and muse b grew up in the same place - a run down town with not much going for it. the people in the town are extremely dedicated to their craft of violence and power. muse a has been brainwashed by the overall theme of the town, they find themselves addicted to the money and power and would do anything for it. meanwhile, muse b wants nothing to do with it. they can see clearly that this place is not somewhere to live and grow, they see how toxic it is. muse b dreams of running while muse a dreams of taking their world by storm and wants muse b by their side. bonus points if it’s post-apocalyptic. doesn’t have to be ship-centered! can be siblings or friends.

02. 100 letters–

i’m not something to butter up and taste when you get bored ‘cause i have spent too many nights on dirty bathroom floors to find some peace and quiet right behind a wooden door

muse a and muse b are in a relationship, muse a is starting to learn that muse b may not be the best person for them. muse a feels like they’re used for sex more often than not and are finally comings to terms that maybe they don’t really love each other like they thought. muse b has known this the whole times and knows exactly what they’re doing but potentially confused by their feelings for muse a. muse a has a new awakening and actually starts to distance themselves from muse b - which only makes muse b want them more. bonus chara backstory: muse a has grown up in a rough household. this could be anything - parents fighting was my first thought.

03. eyes closed–

now if i keep my eyes closed he looks just like you but he'll never stay, they never do

muse a works in a strip club which is now second nature to them. they go to work, they do their job and they leave. they don’t particularly like it but they’re stuck in their situation after a bad breakup with muse b, who had given them everything. when muse b arrives at the club they work out without any idea, muse a is bombarded of the idea of the two of them together again.

04. heaving in hiding–

said this ain't what you usually do and a girl like me is new for you and i can tell you mean it cause you're shakin'

muse a is someone shy and reserved, someone who has played by the book their whole lives and doesn’t exactly stray from that ever. muse b breaks just about every rule in the book and likes it that way. they meet on a whim, maybe in a situation where they’re forced to spend a lot of time together. they grow fond of each other despite their differences. muse a finds the other absolutely fascinated whether it’s attraction, curiosity or both. after spending time together, muse a learns muse b has a sweet side after all their late nights. muse b learns muse a isn’t so reserved after all. and maybe they’re not so different. bonus points if there’s an age gap.

05. alone–

i got a new place in cali but i’m gone every night so i fill it with strangers so they keep on the lights

muse a is extremely wealthy but is constantly busy due to their career. the home they live in is brand new, barely ever been touched. being frugal (or greedy) they decide to rent out their home through airbnb. the same person often stays and they’re not sure why, nor do they really want to know. finally returning home, they’re faced with the exact reason: they’ve been throwing parties and making people pay a cover at the door. muse a can’t even be that mad because they’d honestly do the same. it’s genius. muse a goes looking for the culprit and upon finding muse b, realizes “hey, they’re kind of really fucking hot…”

06. now or never–

wishin' you were 'round with me but you're in a different town than me we've been through it all but you could never spit it out for me tryna talk to a wall but you could never tear it down for me

muse a and muse b are in a long distance relationship recently after dating for years. muse a is becoming tired of the struggles they face and muse b doesn’t even seem to care. it’s starting to come to the point where muse a wants to break things off and leaves muse b to decide what to do. bonus: possible mumu plot if this includes muse a and b cheating on each other while they’re away.

07. sorry–

i run away when things are good and never really understood the way you laid your eyes on me in ways that no one ever could

mostly an inspiration for a character, muse a is someone that struggles with their self-worth and often takes it out on the others around. they’re the type of person that feels like they’ll never able to love or be loved. in the journey of this struggle, they meet a lot of people - one in particular that’s put everything on the line for them. muse b tries to save muse a but may realize they’re a lost cause or muse a may push them away. muse a refuses to be loved because they’re so invested of the idea of someone never being able to love them.

08. good mourning–

they told me once, "there's a place where love conquers all" a city with the streets full of milk and honey i haven't found it yet, but i’m still searching

muse a and muse b are both searching for a new place to be, to thrive. world travelers on a mission to find their place, they run into each other on a trip and seem to have the same destination. instead of going it alone, they decide to go together thinking they’ll be better off with a travel buddy. in their search for ultimate happiness, they realize maybe it’s never to be found. they learn a lot about each other and the world in the process. together they start to believe that hopeless is all in their head and it only took a little sightseeing to figure it out.

09. lie–

i watch you devour, mistake me for bread well boy, is you fed? or are you misled? i gave you the messiest head you give me the messiest head

muse a and muse b have been in a long-standing relationship based on sex alone. the two are both confused whether they’re still together for the sex or if they still actually love each other. muse a seems to take things harder and only wants muse b to stay, causing muse a to put out even more to try and compensate. ultimately, it makes matters worse. muse b is realizing they don’t love muse a anymore but would rather stay and lie than hurt them.

10. walls could talk–

and we both hope there's something but we both keep fronting and it's a closed discussion and i’m thinking "damn, if these walls could talk"

muse a and muse b are friends that have known each other for a long time. everyone thinks they belong together, their friend group swears they’ll get married one day. what their friends don’t know is that behind closed doors, they have more problems than any couple imaginable. the two both want a relationship but they’re not sure if they’d be able to handle ever actually being together. they know they’re both bad for each other but they keep going back.

11. bad at love–

got a girl with california eyes and i thought that she could really be the one this time but i never got the chance to make her mine because she fell in love with little thin white lines

multiple types of potential muses are mentioned in this song. ultimately, this would be based off a character that that longs for love. they fall deep and fast. and finds love in the wrong places. muse a is invested in a potential relationship with muse b. it’s on it’s way to success but muse b chooses drugs instead of love and because of this, muse a moves on easily. bonus: this could make for a good character backstory rather than a plot.

12. don’t play–

alone out in saint-tropez lookin' as fine as a damn monet tryna hydrate on perrier everybody thirsty, drinks on me

another theme that could make for a character personality rather than a plot. this particular muse seemingly has all the money in the world, often found on vacation only to find the best parties. they don’t care about anyone but themselves, usually lost in the midst of having a good time. probably the most extra of people - only wears gold jewelry, deep reds, silk and velvet. bonus: they’ve made this lifestyle on their own, not help from a single person, not even parents.

13. strangers–

said that we're not lovers, we're just strangers with the same damn hunger to be touched, to be loved, to feel anything at all

your classic friends with benefits plot: muse a and muse b have been hooking up, muse a actually sees something between them but muse b only sees the two having the same want. while muse a tries to get to know muse b, muse b doesn’t want anything to do with an actually relationship. everything about this is all physical. the only thing muse b can do is push muse a away and muse a just keeps running after them.

14. angel on fire–

i woke up to another mess in the living room broken bottles all around my feet they came again in the night under crescent moon didn't wake me in my sleep

muse a is constantly on the run from a gang of violent people and their only savior is muse b, who is still in the gang. muse a wants to find themselves and be their own person. often times muse b will warn muse a when they’re coming, allowing muse a to take flight before an attack to capture them. muse a is constantly challenged with the idea of going back to the people they once considered family, especially with muse b still involved. in all reality, they just want them back but muse a wants to be free. bonus points if muse b is planning to flee with them so staying is all an act. more bonus points if it’s post-apocalyptic or set in a specific time in history.

15. devil in me–

you said i’m too much to handle you said i shine too bright i burnt the candle

muse a and muse b have just ended a relationship. looking back, muse a is realizing muse b was the only thing making them happy. with this thought in mind, muse a is scared of the person they might become without the importance of muse b in their lives. muse a knows it’s for the best after realizing how much of a burden they seemed to be on muse b. muse b can’t help but wonder if muse a will be okay without them around.

16. hopeless–

‘cause you know the good die young but so did this and so it must be better than i think it is gimme those eyes, it's easy to forgive

muse a and muse b know their relationship is breaking apart. however, they still cling to the hope that it’ll last. however, muse a is always the one putting in effort while muse b is out doing their own thing, often lying about their whereabouts. muse a is stuck to the old version of their relationship that worked. muse b is taking advantage of the fact muse a would do anything to keep them around and keep the relationship lasting. bonus: “you and all your friends all hate me.”

#1x1 #plots #plot bunny #rph #rpc #drug tw #violence tw #gang tw #toxic relationship tw #abuse tw

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msngs · 7 years

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HOPELESS FOUNTAIN KINGDOM - ROLEPLAY IDEAS

a series of rp ideas based on the songs in halsey’s hfk album

01.THE PROLOGUE: I am a child of a // Money hungry, prideful country

MUSE A is the heir of one of the most powerful companies in the world, trained since youth to become CEO. MUSE B is the latest in a long line of protesters, defending human rights. A and B meet and get along, unaware that B's family is preparing the biggest event to campaign against A's future company in just a few days.

02. 100 LETTERS: You wrote 100 letters just for me // And I find them in my closet in the pockets of my jeans

MUSE A and MUSE B were lifelong neighbors, and childhood friends. Then MUSE A moved to the other side of the country and MUSE B helped them bring their boxes to their new place - that was the last time they saw each other. What happens when MUSE A finds a hidden box in the closet years later, full of 100 love letters written to them by MUSE B?

03. EYES CLOSED: Now if I keep my eyes closed he looks just like you // But he'll never stay, they never do

MUSE A and MUSE B are (college) roommates. Since their first encounter, MUSE A developed the biggest crush on MUSE B. Unable to act on it and trying to move on, MUSE A brings home a different person every night, under MUSE B's nose. One thing they all have in common: they really look like MUSE B , who is starting to notice it.

04. HEAVEN IN HIDING: And you surrender to the touch, you'll know // I can put on a show, I can put on a show

MUSE A is popular, and MUSE B is barely noticed, except for one thing - the fact that their house is always empty and hosts the biggest parties on campus. At one of those parties, MUSE A seduces MUSE B. Yet, the next day, MUSE A pretends to remember nothing about the previous night. And this happens again and again, at every party, while MUSE A plays the forgetful act, MUSE B is starting to fall.. hard.

05. ALONE: Baby, as soon as you meet me // You'll wish that you never did

MUSE A has been a fan of MUSE B for years, long before they reached peaked stardom. But MUSE A nevet got the chance to meet their idol. And drunk in their local bar is certainly not where they would have thought MUSE B would ever be, trying to blend in. Sparks fly as they meet, but is it the fantasy MUSE A had always dreamed of?

06. NOW OR NEVER: We've been through it all // But you could never spit it out for me

MUSE A and MUSE B have been together since highschool. Despite the warnings of going too fast, both let their romance be the focus of their lives, moving together rather than attending college. Now in early-twenties, both feel stuck, and while MUSE A is growing anxious and jealous, MUSE B is growing distant. When an opportunity arise and MUSE A has to move away, they decide to take it as a sign to try and make their love work, long distance. Can they?

07. SORRY: Someone will love you // But someone isn't me

Soulmates. That's what MUSE A and MUSE B are supposed to be, according to the brand on their wrist. Then why do they feel nothing for each other? Did fate got it wrong? MUSE A and MUSE B decide, against the law for soulmates, to break up and make a pact. 5 years to explore who they are before meeting again. Now, 5 years have passed, MUSE A and MUSE B meet again.

08. GOOD MOURNING: They told me once, "don't trust the moon, she's always changing"

MUSE A and MUSE B were forbidden by the gods to be together. Yet, they broke their vows to others and spent one night and one day together. When they found out, the gods cursed them eternally. MUSE A cannot live under the sun, or they will be consumed and burn to death. MUSE B cannot stand the light of the moon, for their soul become wicked. So now, they only have the dawn and the dusk together and every minute more is a risk.

09. LIE: All I'm sayin' is if you don't love me no more then lie, lie

MUSE A and MUSE B are the perfect couple, making all of their friends jealous by how obvious their love is. Yet, behind closed doors, the flame has long gone out. MUSE B has cheated, multiple times, but MUSE A insists that their love is stronger, and that they are to keep pretending for appearance's sake. Between the fights, there's still a spark that remains, but is it enough?

10. WALLS COULD TALK: Told my new roommate not to let you in // But you're so damn good with a bobby pin

MUSE A was supposed to just be another missiong for MUSE B. MUSE B, one of the elite spies of their country was supposed to follow MUSE A and gain access to confidential, major information. What better way to do that than for MUSE B to pretend to have a crush on MUSE A and date them? They’ve been together for a year, when suddenly armed men knock on the door and threaten MUSE A's life for those secret information, leaving MUSE B to reveal the truth and try to save both of their lives.

11. BAD AT LOVE: Lookin' at my history // I'm bad at love

MUSE A has the reputation of a serial dater, crushing on everyone and believing that they've found the one everytime - before breaking up. MUSE B has heard all about it, since their friends, their sibling and even their co-worker has fallen for MUSE A's charm. So MUSE B is prepared for the eventuality of meeting MUSE A, and rejects them when it happens. Yet, MUSE A keeps coming back, liking nothing more than the challenge of breaking MUSE B's resolve.

12. DON’T PLAY: I am not the type to admit I'm on // How could I lie when we sip so strong

After years of hard work, MUSE A and MUSE B have reached success through the company they built together. Now, they lead a life of luxury, private planes ad easy money. While MUSE B is trying to stay level-headed to work on the company’s next step, MUSE A is out every night, sleeping with everyone and now dabbling in drugs. MUSE B has always seen themselves as MUSE A’s protector, and now looks like the time where they are needed, or has MUSE A already spiralled down too far already?

13. STRANGERS: We're not lovers, we're just strangers // With the same damn hunger // To be touched, to be loved, to feel anything at all

This was never supposed to happen. MUSE A is MUSE B’s teacher, but one drunken meeting in a local bar was enough for a mistake to be made. Despite the rules, MUSE A and MUSE B continue their physical relationship, meeting now and then for an hour of two of just good fun. But while MUSE A is happy to pretend like MUSE B is just another student, MUSE B is starting to fall in love with their teacher, risking to compromise both their future at the school.

14. ANGEL ON FIRE: 'Cause they talk and drink and laugh 'bout things // And fall in love in my backyard.

MUSE A used to be the popular one, always hosting parties at their place. But then, there was one drink too many and MUSE A crashed their car, dying on the spot. Years later, a new student, MUSE B, is renting MUSE A’s old house. There are new parties, new people drinking and MUSE A is still there - a ghost, a presence haunting the place that ultimately killed her. One night, she sees a drunk MUSE B taking their car keys and stops them, like someone should have done for them. The next day MUSE B is not sure if the night’s event was a dream, but slowly other things happen that make them sure that they’re not alone in that old house.

15. DEVIL IN ME: Now I gotta wake it up // The devil in me

MUSE A spent their highschool years bullying MUSE B, for no other reason that it was easy, and fun. Years later, in another city, MUSE A is a prison guard transfered to a new penitenciary. There, one of the inmates is no other than MUSE B, now the opposite of the shy, bullied kid they were, ruling the prison. MUSE B is determined to take their revenge on MUSE A, by any means necessary, even if that includes setting up a trap for them to get caught in an unprofessional situation with an inmate.

16. HOPELESS: 'Cause you know the truth hurts // But secrets kill

MUSE A and MUSE B’s relationship ended in a bitter break-up, years ago. Since that, life happened and when they meet again, it’s on opposite sides of the law. MUSE A is a hot-shot police detective, MUSE B is a trained hitman employed by gangs and mafia bosses. Face to face with each other, memories come back, along with an instinct for duty and survival.

Feel free to use these for inspirations, and please like/reblog if you do!

#indie rp #rp plots #roleplay plots #indie oc rp #rp ideas #halsey #m #//enjoy!!#//someone pls rp 13 or 15 with me #//or any of them

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derangedroyalfae · 6 years

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January 31, 2019 10:35PM

Royal (1:25 PM) I got some personal lyrics written today...

I suppose when it’s very genuine and personal, they are so easy and fast to write

I got the full song written, 2 verses, chorus, bridge, and even an outro

I’m usually not very good with bridges, but I like this one

Jewel (8:52 PM): Lyrics are good though

Royal (8:52 PM): Thanks...

On the bright side, even if it feels like I’m having a hard time getting along with him, at least he’s having fun with his metamours and whatnot

Jewel (8:55 PM): Oh, I actually hadn't guessed who it was about but now I got it

Cuz I assumed it was a character and not a real life person

Royal (8:55 PM): You’re literally the only one I’ve shared this with who I personally know, by the way

I haven’t shown/told Hummingbird or Kitty yet

To be fair, the lyrics did just come in today on my bus ride home and then everything else just kinda been floating on by

Jewel (8:57 PM): Oh, wow

Do you plan to show it to them?

Royal (8:58 PM): Maybe. Just cuz as special others, you should want to know what’s going on, what’s troubling you, etc

To be honest, you remember that night I was really struggling?

I was telling you how I wasn’t sure I should tell them about how I was feeling toward him

Well, on the ride home, I opened up and confessed to Kitty. I just couldn’t hold it in

But I’m glad I did

I really need to talk to at least one of them about what’s going on else it just seems like it’s out of nowhere when it resurfaces and like it’s not a reoccurring thing

It was unbiased toward him and not about her own personal feelings, just focusing on how I was and wanting to comfort me

So I know that it’s not a problem of bias when it comes to opening up to them, I know that they are good metamours

They’re very good listeners, it’s much easier talking to them than it is Nurd half the time

He tries to help too much, but sometimes I’m not looking for a solution...he’s also a debater, and that doesn’t help either

And by help too much, I mean in every way possible, everywhere or anyone

It’s concerning, cuz I don’t want him to get hurt or swindled. But it’s also rude to a certain extent and invasive, not everyone wants some stranger eavesdropping. And employees can NOT let customers help (which he seems to forget so he’ll just keep insisting).

Jewel (9:06 PM): Wait, as in, he tries to help out even at work and when you're having a conversation that doesn't involve him?

Royal (9:07 PM): Random strangers, he’ll offer help/advice if he overheard or witnessed problems

Employees at stores moving certain things, he’ll offer to lend a hand (they legally can’t accept his help)

I suppose, it could partly be a cis male thing, being unafraid of the consequences and putting yourself out there

Assigned females are raised to keep your head down and to yourself, drawing attention is your fault and could get you raped or hurt

Jewel (9:09 PM): I guess at least in the employees case, worst outcome is he'll get turned down

And it might even make them feel glad someone even wants to help

Royal (9:09 PM): Yeah, be he insists and so it gets annoying to them

Jewel (9:09 PM): Oh

Royal (9:11 PM): Most topics I like (yandere, lgbt, feminist, etc) are things he seems to hate and is annoyed by, or at least it feels like it half the time

I know it’s probably not most, but it feels like he’s so annoyed with what I have to say

What I want to talk about...

And it’s almost mutual

Like, I don’t really wanna hear about half the crap he talks about either

Jewel (9:12 PM): But what did you used to talk about?

Royal (9:12 PM): He needs friends

Before dating?

Or when we started dating

Or both

Jewel (9:13 PM): Before, after, any time you remember having a conversation you found engaging or spending time with him you enjoyed

Royal (9:14 PM): I used to mainly talk about my stories, he was a lore hound and ate it up (well, he never said he enjoyed it, just likes listening to or feels inclined to listen to stories whether or not he likes the story)

We were also a friend group, so we’d be in group conversations

Especially over nerdy stuff

They’d usually play video games together on their computers and I’d be doing my thing on my computer

But for the time spent together as a couple: we’d watch a lot of movies together, be sexual, or nap...not that much talking persay

I feel weird thinking about this

I also started meds right after we started dating

I think the worse thing is, though, Jewel, is that I’m transitioning

I’m blossoming, I’m being me, but I can’t do that in front of him

I’m invalidating myself by being with him

Invalidating doesn’t even scratch the surface

Jewel (9:19 PM): I understand. Relate to that too, very much.

Royal (9:19 PM): I don’t even like saying that I’m wearing a packer or talk about them around him cuz I feel him cringe from it

He literally flinched when I jokingly told Cat I was trying to grow a penis

And then talked to me about it later, starting with, “how far are you trying to go?” I can’t remember if he meant it in general or with just HRT. I think it was with HRT

To which I reminded him that he’s known from the beginning

Jewel (9:21 PM): It seems to me rather that he's been in denial and can't be anymore

Royal (9:21 PM): But he brought up my joke of growing a dick when asking

And when I reminded him, he is just like “I know”

It’s almost unpleasant to be around him anymore (not just because of the transition thing, this relates back to everything else)

And when I’m at Hummingbird and Kitty’s it almost feels like I can’t be with them if he’s there, like, I have to prioritize him cuz he’s to homophobic/transphobic to be in a cuddle pile with them

But he’d never see it that way

He’d never see himself as transphobic

I’m wouldn’t even ask him to touch them in anyway, I’d be between him and them, but it feels like that’d be something that’d make him ungodly uncomfortable

Not because they’re my lovers, but because they were born with a Y chromosome

Jewel (9:26 PM): Like if they were cis he'd be totally fine with it?

Royal (9:27 PM): Cis women? Yes

Not even post-op trans

Doesn’t matter if the dick isn’t there anymore

He said it himself - “socially I see them as women, sexually I see them as men”

Because of facial features, arm muscles, fat distribution

Jewel (9:29 PM): Oh gawd

I couldn't help but cringe at that

Royal (9:29 PM): Bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit

Do you realize how much more worse it makes me feel to hear people say that?

Do you realize that it’s nothing I haven’t thought already

Because it just makes me wanna vomit or cry repeating it

I feel like screaming

Jewel (9:30 PM): Wait that "you" is him, right, just clarifying

I got confused for a moment thinking you meant me

Royal (9:31 PM): No, you, Kitty, Hummingbird

“That’s cringe”

Jewel (9:31 PM): Ohhh

Royal (9:31 PM): “That’s insulting”

“That’s wrong”

I’ve felt that way, if not worse

I usually respond with “how do you think I feel?”

Jewel (9:32 PM): No, I understand, and I'm not implying otherwise

Royal (9:32 PM): “I’m in love with him, and I almost find myself hating me for that”

No, I know

But it reminds me that I’m sickened

It makes me feel like there’s something wrong that I’m with him

But then it does feel that’s the case when I look at the fact that I’m transitioning

But it makes me angry that he’d give me a chance but not someone else

Because he’s always just seen me as a girl, hasn’t he?

Jewel (9:34 PM): Did you ever ask him what he intends to do or why he's been with you? I can understand if it's hard and you haven't.

Royal (9:34 PM): Of course

He just plans on masturbating

I’m not losing anything when it comes to not having sex with him, I can live with that, but bullshit that he’d be content with that

And he doesn’t want to go find himself another partner

He only wants me, he’s said

I want someone to love him for the things I can’t

For someone to care about him and be there for him when I can’t or won’t

Jewel (9:37 PM): What does he do when he's not around you?

Royal (9:37 PM): In terms of sex?

Jewel (9:37 PM): You said he needs friends

So it seems like he doesn't socialize much?

Royal (9:38 PM): He sits in his room either playing video games or watching Netflix

I don’t think he really messages his Bay Area friends on a normal basis, and his Discord DnD group sounds to be falling apart

But I think he needs physical people in his life too

People he can chill with

So I’m glad he’s been joining game night and whatnot, I feel like telling the guys that if they really get along with him, invite him out for other things etc

I think going back to school would help too

I know I felt lost in the cosmos without school

Cuz then he can make friends and a community there too

He does work right now, but working isn’t a social life. He’s not hanging out with his coworkers outside of work, so I don’t think it counts

Jewel (9:45 PM): Yeah, school does help

Is he not planning to go back to school?

Royal (9:47 PM): He is and was

But we got his stuff in too late this semester

It’s better to start in fall anyway

But I was so annoyed with the process and how he practically needed me to hold his hand for almost all of it and screwed up and got himself incredibly confused and was working on it for like over a year when it took me like a week or two

I was racking my brain over how he was struggling so much

Like, he seems to be so much smarter and whatnot than me

Jewel (9:51 PM): What was he struggling with exactly?

Royal (9:52 PM): Tbh, I was confused and he seemed misinformed

Like, he believed he couldn’t give his transcript until such-and-such was done, and the he could make this-and-that appointment or whatever until whatnot

Etc

It was just ??????????

He also mailed his transcript to himself instead of directly to the school, so I made him do it again but to the school since you get 3 free transcripts

So use up 2/3 but he won’t need the third hopefully, and even then, it’s like $5-$15 for one anyway

Jewel (9:55 PM): Wow, seems to me he has a tendency to think things are more complicated than they are?

Royal (9:55 PM): He over thinks things

And he’s super paranoid

You know about him and online shopping, right?

(And most things that involve him using his card)

Royal (10:05 PM): It’s interesting how part of the convo (before getting into the money thing) was some references to the song I wrote

Like, the whole thing with me beginning to feel like we both don’t care about the other’s interests atm “You looked so annoyed again today

I messed up once more

I guess it mutual, by the way

It all feels like such a bore”

“And now it’s like whatever it is I say

I say it wrong”

Me and transitioning and how I keep that suppressed around him “I’ve limited who I am

When it’s next to you that I stand

It starts to feel so fake

When it’s truly me that you can’t take”

Him not wanting to be sexual with a trans person but wanting me to be his only partner ”You love me, maybe still want me, never want to leave me”

It’s almost like we’re going through the song and analyzing it, maybe just not in order

Jewel (10:13 PM): Yeah

Also, I know this is all really hard on you and you of course still love and care for him, but it's good you're thinking about it and not avoiding it. And I'm glad I can be there for you about it in whatever small way I can.

Royal (10:14 PM): By “thinking about it,” you mean the transition thing?

Or do you just mean me struggling to connect with him at all nowadays

Like I’m not just throwing it in a closet and forgetting about it until it festers and boils

Jewel (10:26 PM): I mean about him

Yeah, that second thing, basically

Royal (10:29 PM): thanks, by the way

#moody #mood swing #journal #mood journal #love #romance #heartbreak #confession #confusion #confused #exhausted #exhaustion #hurt #loss #loss of connection #lost #direction #depressed #depression

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wbwest · 7 years

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New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/06/16/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-61617/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 6/16/17

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Hot on the heels of the poster reveal last Friday, we got a teaser trailer for Black Panther during the NBA Finals. And it did very little for me. Yeah, I know. Every other Black person I know is, as they say, “hype” for this movie, but I just have never cared about Black Panther as a character. And I know comic book movies require suspension of disbelief, but Michael B. Jordan plays a villain named KILLMONGER! That’s probably the comic bookiest name I’ve ever been forced to take seriously. It certainly looks colorful, and it’s gonna make all the monies, but I’m gonna need to see more before I get too excited.

Let’s talk about Black Panther for a minute, though, as I think people are conflating his comic book success with his appearances in all other media. At the moment, there are currently 3 Black Panther comics on the stands: 1) Black Panther, 2) World of Wakanda, and 3) Black Panther & The Crew. Also at this moment, the latter two have already been canceled. I’ve seen people online saying that Marvel should rethink their stance, considering all the views the trailer has racked up in its week online (22.6 million as I write this). I get what they’re trying to say, but it’s a faulty argument. Their assumption is that people are clamoring for all the Black Panther they can get, when it’s really just this one movie to which they’re looking forward.

When the Black Panther comic was relaunched last year, written by author Ta-Nehisi Coates, the first issue sold over 250,000 copies, which was a rare feat for 2016. Now, however, the book sells about 1/9 of that amount, and is still decreasing. Ya see, Coates was hot shit because of an article on reparations that he wrote for The Atlantic. Why someone thought that would translate into a successful stint writing comics is beyond me. Marvel struck while the iron was hot, though, and they were able to ride the Coates wave, but anyone who’s actually read the comic knows that he’s more about political drama than superhero action. People came to the table to see what he’d offer, but over time they’ve realized they’re not picking up what he’s putting down. Still, Marvel gave him yet another series, Black Panther & The Crew, which probably should’ve been called Black Panther and His Negrotastic Pals. I bought the first issue, but the book was canceled before I even had the chance to read it, so womp womp. It could be argued that Coates wasn’t the right choice for the book, but I think a better explanation is that Marvel blew their wad too soon. They should’ve been launching these spinoffs in the wake of the trailer, not cancelling them. Still, the damage is already done, so it’s not like they can let them tread water until the movie is released. If anything, they’re gonna have to cancel and relaunch if they want to capitalize on movie buzz. The ship, however, has sailed for the books currently on the market because this trailer is not going to serve as the shot in the arm that some folks seem to believe it to be.

Fox has got the ball rolling on X-Men: Dark Phoenix, the follow-up to the disappointing X-Men: Apocalypse. It will be directed by Simon Kinberg, who has no directing experience by the way, and is slated to be released November 2nd, 2018. And the gang’s all here, with Fassbender, Lawrence, and McAvoy are all coming back. If you remember, they tried to act like they were on the fence about returning after Apocalypse, but I guess they love money too much. Meanwhile, they’re saying that Jessica Chastain is being pursued to play alien Shi’ar Empress Lilandra, who lets Xavier bone her every couple of years. Did I mention that Kinberg wrote X-Men: The Last Stand? Ya know, the LAST time they did the Dark Phoenix storyline?! THE ONE EVERYBODY HATED?! So they’re basically giving him do-over! Everything about this sounds terrible, but we’ll probably get another cool Quicksilver sequence out of it, this time set to La Bouche’s “Be My Lover” or some other disposable 90s pop song.

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Normally, I’m all about those stories where they “get the band back together”, so I was definitely surprised when this video hit the Internet this week. I miss the age of the $20 million comedy, where Hollywood was cranking these things out monthly in the mid ’00s. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story was one of my favorites, so I had high hopes for this thing, whatever it was supposed to be. Still, 13 years have passed since the movie, and this “return to the well” felt just as stale as Zoolander 2. Its saving grace is the fact that it’s only 4 minutes long (which still, somehow, feel like an eternity). I don’t even know where to start with this thing. The unfunniness of Stiller? The weak delivery from Christine Taylor? Or the fact that I don’t have a clue as to what the Hell Omaze is? Apparently it raises money for non-profits, but it’s far from a household name. I don’t know if this is the bold step Omaze needed to take to make a name for themselves. “Hey, look – we’re making a mini sequel to a 13 year old movie that didn’t need a sequel!” This thing seems dead on arrival, and I’d love to somehow be able to track the success/failure of this marketing initiative. Ugh, so much potential, squandered.

Bachelor in Paradise had its production suspended this week after accounts of “misconduct” began to surface. According to varying reports, Corinne Olympios from the most recent season of The Bachelor was involved in some pretty “heavy petting”, as your grandma would call it, with DeMario Jackson from season 13 of The Bachelorette. From what I heard, they were both drunk and tried to have sex. DeMario, unfortunately, couldn’t…”ready his soldier for battle”, so he “went downtown” instead. Corinne’s friend, who’s a producer on the show, told her that it’d look bad for her to be getting serviced on camera like that. A lot of other contestants reportedly witnessed the event, and said that the two were even seen canoodling together later that night. Then, Corinne started saying that she couldn’t remember the events of the night, and that she had never given consent for what happened. So now both sides are lawyered up, blaming the other for character assassination and worse. Oh, by the way, if you’re not familiar with Bachelor In Paradise, it’s a spinoff where the contestants are encouraged to get drunk and try to fuck. So…mission accomplished?

The format of the show was just asking for a controversy like this, and I’m amazed that it took this long for something like this to hit the Bachelor franchise. I don’t know anything about DeMario, but the one season of The Bachelor that I watched featured Corinne as the villain of the season. She was constantly boasting of her sexual prowess, saying things like “My ‘vagine’ is platinum.” Her tactic to win the show was to throw herself at The Bachelor early and often. Now, some folks are gonna interpret this as me saying she “deserved” this. If this was sexual assault, nobody deserves something like that. All I’m saying is that she was strategic in using sex to get what she wanted, and quick to cower when it didn’t work out as planned. Bachelor Nick Viall rebuffed all of her advances last season, and she’d end up pouting in her room, or taking a nap during the rose ceremony. She was notoriously immature yet manipulative. Word on the street was that she was up for her own show, but this little episode might’ve jeopardized the chances of that.

The most interesting part of this whole thing is that THEY HAVE THE TAPE! LET’S GO TO THE DAMN TAPE! How damning is that tape that it hasn’t been released yet? The production is most likely over for good, as the contestants have been sent home. The future of the show is in jeopardy because of this ordeal as there doesn’t really seem to be any coming back from this. The reality show fuck house actually turned into a fuck house. I guess their plan worked a little too well. If the show does come back, this is a watershed moment for dating shows, as nothing will be the same after this. Remember how talk shows changed when the Jenny Jones Murder took place? After that, they all became more staged, and Jerry Springer thrived in its wake. Now you can’t trust anything you see during daytime, while a show like Donahue couldn’t exist in the current climate. They’re gonna have to treat future iterations of The Bachelor with kid gloves, which isn’t what people come to see. When folks watch these shows, they wanna see if the contestants are gonna hook up. Now, they realize that standards and practices won’t allow that to be shown, but they still wanna see as much as the network will allow them to see. All these years after Joe Millionaire aired on Fox, folks don’t remember it for its janky premise (poor guy pretends to be a millionaire in order to find love from a pool of gold diggers), but rather for the scene of “Joe” (Evan Marriott) and contestant Sarah Kozer in the woods with some intense slurping on the audio. Lewd, yes, but boundary-pushing for 2003 and everyone was talking about it. The goal of these shows is to produce something to dominate the conversation for a while and, in that case, this whole thing has been a success. Still, there are serious matters at hand that need to be addressed, as folks are losing jobs (DeMario got fired for the allegations), and could also end up in jail.

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After something like a year in teases, we finally have our release date for the DuckTales reboot: Aug 12th. The show will premiere on DisneyXD as an hour-long “mini movie”, and then be rebroadcast for the next 24 hours on the channel. Then, the series will officially premiere on September 23rd, with 2 new episodes. As you saw above, we also got the new credit sequence and theme song. Some of the old fuddy duddies have taken issue with the remixed theme, but I love it. The most surprising thing to me is the new jacked Mrs. Beakley, but I figure there’ll be an in-series explanation for all that.

In the world of toys, Hasbro unveiled the full Netflix wave of Marvel Legends figures, and they look so great. In the beginning, I was scared these were gonna turn out to be exclusive to a particular retailer, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. We already knew about Daredevil, Jessica Jones, and Punisher, but the wave is rounded out by Elektra, as well as comic versions of Blade and Bullseye. As an added surprise, there’s a Build A Figure in the form of Man-Thing. That character means nothing to me, but I’ll be buying the whole wave, so someone give me a shout if you wanna buy Man-Thing off me. That’s right, I’m offering my Man-Thing in exchange for money. I think that might be illegal…

Song of the Week

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This week’s song is Morgan Wallen’s “The Way I Talk”, mainly because I completely identify with it. If you’ve ever spoken with me, the first question people tend to ask is “Where are you from? You sound SOUTHERN!” Also, I spent more time than I’d like to admit trying to figure out if that actually was a sample from Spacehog’s “In The Meantime” at the beginning (verdict: inconclusive).

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

CMT is seriously considering reviving Tim Allen’s canceled ABC sitcom, Last Man Standing. They already air the reruns, so it seems like a natural fit.

An Injustice 2 eSports tournament will air on TBS in October. We’re really trying to make “eSports” a thing, huh?

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt has been renewed for a 4th season at Netflix. One of these days I’ll finally finish seasons 2 and 3…

Aisha Tyler announced yesterday that she will be leaving The Talk at the end of the season, due to her current commitments on Criminal Minds, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, and Archer. Plus, she’ll be directing an upcoming film. Yeah, that’s probably enough jobs for one person.

Someone named Anthony Padilla is leaving something called Smosh. Apparently it’s a thing on the YouTubes. If you’ve got a tween, they can probably explain whatever this means.

In an update to something I mentioned last week, Sony has revised their plans to sell clean versions of their movies. Since it was found that the plan violated union contracts, now Sony will only offer clean versions of movies that have been approved by the director.

ABC has renewed “Toy Shark Tank”, AKA The Toy Box, for a second season.

I took a trip down memory lane to talk about the old Toy Biz Customer Service hotline.

In a baffling move, Amazon is buying Whole Foods Market for $13.7 billion. I haven’t been as confused about a business deal since K-Mart bought Sears.

When I first started West Week Ever, I came up with a No Death Policy. Even though I get kinda negative on here, I still want it to be a positive place. I have a bit of an odd history with death, as I became acquainted with it at an early age, so I like to stay away from all that. Plus, there’s that problem where if you mention one death, you’ve gotta mention ALL the deaths, and ain’t nobody got time for that – especially if that death didn’t really mean anything to me. Still, when I created this feature, I always knew there would be at least 2 important exceptions. I wasn’t looking forward to them, but given their age and health, I knew it would be something I’d have to tackle eventually. Sadly, one of those deaths occurred last Saturday.

When I was growing up, there were few things I looked forward to as much as the 1966 Batman series, weekday afternoons on Fox 5. While I’d gotten the Super Powers Batman and Batmobile toys when I was around 4, I really didn’t know anything about Batman until I was introduced to that show. Hell, I remember how I used to think Batman could fly. I mean, he had a cape! All people with capes fly, right? Anyway, like any kid, I was mesmerized by the POW! ZAP! BIFF! of the fight sequences. I was on the edge of my seat for the end of episode cliffhanger. I’d tie a sheet around my neck, and shadow box along with the Dynamic Duo as they fought King Tut’s goons. I also had a next door neighbor, Brian, who was a few years younger than me (he was 7 when I was 11, as I remember him thinking that was cool), and he worshipped the ground I walked on. He’d come over, and we’d be Batman and Robin, fighting invisible goons with gadgets I’d made from Construx and jump ropes. My concept of Batman was formed by Adam West and Burt Ward, walking up the side of buildings with their Bat Ropes.

As I grew up, I was introduced to other depictions of the Caped Crusader. I started reading comics in ’92, around the time that the classic Batman: The Animated Series debuted. Those versions of Batman were totally different than what I’d grown up knowing. The environment wasn’t as campy, the world was a darker place, and Batman wasn’t doing the Batusi. Over the years, I’ve had even more versions of Batman that I’ve compared to West’s rendition, but I’ve come to appreciate him even more. While the world around him was wacky, West’s Bruce Wayne/Batman was solid. He was smart, calculating, and always knew more than the folks around him. Can you imagine a “Tower of Babel” storyline (the classic JLA story where Batman takes down the rest of the Justice League using contingency plans he’d set up for all of them), starring West’s Batman? I can, and it would be AMAZING.

It seems life wasn’t too shabby for West offscreen, either. According to several stories, he was quite the hit with the ladies, and even had an 8-woman orgy with Riddler Frank Gorshin. ZOWIE! While he never really achieved mega success with anything else, he still established himself as a cult superstar, with his turn in Conan O’Brien’s failed pilot Lookwell, as well as his role as Mayor West on Family Guy, which introduced him to a new generation of fans. Other actors who portrayed Batman went on to other things. For Clooney, Kilmer, and Bale, the role is just another notch on the IMDB profile, but West WAS Batman. With the exception of probably Kevin Conroy, no one else has been so closely identified with the role as Adam West. At the end of the day, he’s the Batman that I always come back to, and the one to which I compare all newcomers. Adam West, born William West Anderson (hey, look at that!), was MY Batman and I think we were all lucky to have him. No, he didn’t have the West Week Ever. I don’t think that’s enough of an honor to indicate what he meant to me. So, with that in mind, Adam West is the inaugural inductee to the West Week Ever Hall of Fame. Farewell, old chum.

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