#this song and luke’s amazing bridge

[gothluke]

10 years of try hard 🥺

[smuttyaf]

SouthSide Serpent

Word Count: 4.8k

Rating: R

features; childhood friends to lovers, loverboy ashton, literally ashton has been pining for y/n, & sum good old smut :)

a/n: idek what to say but hi! i’ve been in retirement for like 4 years and rediscovered this account. i got nostalgic & decided… shit why not write again?

please cut me sum slack tho! i wrote this on my notes app & it’s been years since i’ve written so i would love to hear feedback!

& yes i am hella descriptive and like to build suspense! i can’t help it >.<

also! y/n is heavily based on serena from mtv downtown ( i love her ) & this picture of ashton ( xx )

-

The crisp October breeze blew through your hair as the dull taste of your cigarette burns on your tongue; your forefinger and middle finger clenching the nicotine filled paper and pressing it against your lips, drawing in the vapour.

Your head nods along to the music playing before you just two doors down on the opposite side of your street. There was Ashton and his band, either playing covers of their current favourite songs, oldies, or new ones that they’ve all come together and created.

The usual guitar flow and drum beat of Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs blasted through the speakers in the garage as the sound of Luke’s voice sang along on top of the tune.

You hum along to the lyrics as you glared in the direction, your lips peeling away from the filter and letting the smoke settle in your lungs before releasing it. The four boys were all dressed in their usual attire: white shirt, black trousers, beat up old chunky Doc Martins, and their signature SouthSide Serpents leather jackets.

As the wind picks up again you let your free hand tear away from your windowsill and tug the flying strays of your hair in front of your face behind your ear, the chipped black polish on your almond nails coming into view as you remind yourself you needed to get them done.

The bridge of the song is now blaring down the street, causing you to raise your cigarette back to your lips and think to yourself, what a coincidence this song is playing; the lyrics, the time frame, and the memories that all come flowing back as you hear the familiar melody.

It was 2009 and Ashton had invited you over during Christmas break to play Garage Band since Santa gifted it to him because that was the only thing he asked for on his wish list. You were both 8, banging on the drums and singing songs that you both were too young to know or remember from when your parents would play them on the drive home from school. But, for some reason this is the song that stuck with you both the most. Maybe it was the easy lyrics or the amazing beat but from then on it had you hooked to this alternative sound.

Now fast forward to a year ago, your now ex boyfriend Xavier was laying on your bed, finger pads heavy weight on your skin as he drew sloppy hearts on your hip. The wire of the headphones tangled between your shoulder and his wrist as you both listened to his playlist. The familiar intro notes to the song beginning to ring throughout the buds and the tug of your maroon lined lips turn into a smile.

“Already like the song?” He asked, brown eyes rested on top of dark circles scattered with freckles as he smirked down at you.

“I love it.” You sheepishly said.

The wind knocks you back into reality as it pushes through your window again, only making you remember how much you loved October; the weather changing, leaves blooming, smell of the rain just before it hit the concrete, the sound of the leaves dragging along the pavement, and the endless horror movie marathons that would run on AMC.

The orange, brown, and green leaves spin in the breeze and rustle along the branches as the sun stood brightly among the houses along the horizon. From your view on the windowsill you can see houses upon houses before you see the local water tower and old plazas that scream they need new merchant signs and fresh cement.

Your eyes flick to the lonesome string popping out of your black long sleeve before the sound of your phone’s text tone goes off, your eyes darting to the message running across the screen.

Stop watching me

Ashton’s text read, making you roll your eyes before placing them on the dark hair boy who had a goofy grin on his face from your view, his drum sticks were stuffed in one had and the other held his lit up phone.

With a smile on yours, you let the hand that rested in the crook of your neck tear away from the warm flesh and your middle finger stand in the air as a response.

-

Clothes were thrown in every direction of your room as you let your eyes drag along your frame in the mirror, your loose knitted black sweater hung off one of your shoulders as low waisted charcoal jogging pants rested on your hips. Your hair was in its loose waves as your curtain bangs swept against your temples, your fingers curling into themselves in frustration as you tried to not stress over how you look.

You didn’t want to over enhance your appearance to see Xavier since he wanted to meet up to get “closure” -even though he was the one who called it off despite your many pleas- but you wanted to make him feel bad for even deciding to drop you.

A frustrated sigh left your wine stained lips before turning around and sticking your feet into your ruined Converse. The low muffled sound of Xavier’s Prelude is heard out your window and you feel your heart drop.

You never understood why you always felt this way about him and why you couldn’t just get over this stupid boy who likes to break up with you every other month, a new reason every single time. The constant tears, text threads, and blocking to unblocking seemed to never get exhausting to you because you were always back in the same place, wondering if you overdressed to see your ex for closure.

The chime of Xavier’s specific text tone rings through your room and you already know what it says, so without checking you twisted your foot into your shoe to fit perfectly before you reach over and grasp your phone in your hand and tug your way to the window sill. Fingers pressing the frame up and letting the fall air sweep into your room before crouching down and fitting yourself through the frame and safely scale down the roof, onto the sturdy vine wall filled with dead clematis that prickled on your palms the way down before your feet landed on the short cut grass.

As you turned away from the wall and begin tugging your feet towards the black coupe, your eyes catch on the tall frame standing on their front step as an amber light glows slightly illuminating his face. You already know this is Ashton, so with a slight smile you let your index finger rest against your coated lips, a gesture to him to be quiet.

The only response he gives is his head nodding off to the side with smoke trailing out of his mouth.

The smile quickly falls as your fingers clench the car door handle and tug it open, the smell of him crashing down on you as you sit in the familiar leather, the hum of the engine vibrating under you as the car peels off.

~

The tinge of tequila burned on your buds as you felt the room spinning, the sound of chatter and shouts are heard from below you as the bass of Destroy Lonely’s song can be heard in the room you barged into when you gave up on waiting for Tabitha; who said she wouldn’t be long with the curly haired new kid in her history class.

Red solo cup was loosely clenched in your right hand as left was lazily running through your hair at random moments as you laid against the cottage floral bed sheets.

Here you were, back in the same spot you always found yourself in: drunk, heartbroken, and thinking about a boy who doesn’t even care about you. The constant routine of wanting him, then wanting to be far away but craving him every other second burned into your heart. The comfort and familiarity of him that you missed always overlooked every excuse he gave you whenever he broke things off.

Last month he said he needed time to himself, this month he told you that he was confused and didn’t know what he wanted; frankly he lost feelings for you, at least that was what he says now. Those words kept on replaying in your mind as if that was your favourite song. The way he sounded emotionless yet unsure that, that was what he really wanted.

And just with those thoughts, tears were flowing down your temples. Eyes blurring as the voice replayed in your head, the memory of him sitting beside you and saying that, to then recollect memories of how sweet and endearing the boy you loved in the beginning grew cold to your touch and looked into your hopeful eyes with detached ones.

The popcorn ceiling was fuzzy in your sight as the tears spill over your waterline and beads down the sides of your face. You already knew your cheeks were heated up, the liner and eyeshadow that was occupying your bottom lashes was smudged and probably slipping away with the liquid as a sniffle wrinkled through your nose.

God you hated this; the empty feeling of missing someone who you know you shouldn’t want but yet crave so badly. Why him? Why you?

As you were deep in thought you hear the rustle of the door knob before it turns and the music that pours from outside reaches into the empty depths of the room, the sound of footsteps halting and a sharp intake of breath being heard, but you don’t dare look away at the ceiling. Frankly, you could care less about who sees you crying your eyes out on this outdated duvet with ruined make up.

“Fuck my bad!… Wait Y/N?” The recognizable voice of your childhood friend is heard before the door is closing shut.

The weight of him sinks next to you on the bed as you let your eyes close and the final stream of tears leave your eyes.

“I look desperate don’t I.” You state, voice raspy from the strain in your throat as the usual feeling of a ball is formed.

“I think you look sad,” He points out, making you snort as the hand that was lazily playing in your hair tears away and feels the sheet below you.

“No shit,” You mumble before letting your eyes peel open.

“You and Xavier broke up again?” Ashton questions, the sound of his zippers clashing from his jacket as he shuffles around.

You only hum in response before you let both of your arms sit you up on the bed, your back standing straight as your hands cradle the solo cup. Your eyes stare down at your ruined pantyhose beneath your mini lace black skirt before they flicker to look at the hazel boy.

Eyes connecting with yours, you hear his breath hitch as he draws in your appearance. Cheeks with a glow of cherry red sweeping the bones under your eyes that are damp with black eyeshadow, your eyes were still puffy and red rimmed as they batted slowly up at him.

“He doesn’t know what he wants,” You let out, your eyes rolling before letting your plum coloured lips take a sip of the warm mixture of Pepsi and tequila.

“Oh?” He says in confusion, bushy eyebrows coming together trying to figure out how that could be since he saw you two together three nights ago.

“I’m so sick of being with these screwed up guys all the time,” You state, hand tearing away from the cup to dig your nails into the rips of your stockings.

“Really?”

“I have such crummy luck or taste? What is it with girls like me? All a guy has to say is, he can’t express his feelings or he listens to Deftones and it’s like my head tips right over and my brain start to slip out of my ear.”

Ashton lets out laugh, the beer bottle he’s holding by the neck resting on his knee as he stares down at you. “So which one is Xavier?”

“Both,” You scoff while sticking out your tongue in disgust.

“You know… if you wanted to, I’m sure you could have a different great guy to go out with every night,” Ashton assures, a smirk tugging on your lips as you decide to ignore the glint of promise in his eyes.

“No way, I’ve always been a mess. Remember Cleo?” Your second boyfriend that seemed to be stuck on your hip but ironically found someway to cheat on you every weekend yet you still dumbly went back to him every. single. time.

The feeling of your sheer button up rubs against your arm as you let your hand fall against your hip and feel your black crop top tight to your skin.

“Maybe you just need to talk to someone who isn’t your usual type,” Ashton points out. Your head nods a few beats as your thick wedged heeled boots run over the wooden flooring.

“Maybe I’ll be luckier if I tried dating someone nice for a change,” Voice hopeful as your eyes dart away from the bubbly dark liquid into Ashton’s brown hues.

“Nice guys,” Ashton says with a smile, both of his hands tearing away from his knees as if to gesture to himself in this equation.

A laugh escapes your lips before your eyes run over Ashton’s frame from head to toe.

“What are you getting at Irwin?” You say with a pointed brow, playing stupid to the implication.

“Oh nothing..” He sings while tearing his eyes from yours, toothy smile still spread on his lips before he takes a swing of his beer.

You shake your head with annoyance before your hazy eyes look down at your lap, your hands resting on the cup and drumming a random tune.

“Honestly Y/N… I think you’re a really great girl and…. I just think maybe…” His words a scrambled mess and trailing off. You smile to yourself before turning to look back at him.

“Mm?” You question, the fifteen percent liquor coursing through your bloodstream and giving you confidence as you lean into this chest, eyes never tearing away from his. Because if Ashton was going to give you hopeful eyes and stuttering speeches you might as well put the ‘nice guy’ to the test and see if he was really about what he said.

That only made his lips break into a smirk, his tongue sneakily gladding along his bottom lip to wet it before looking into you daringly.

That only made you squish your plucked eyebrows together in question. How did the stuttering boy from just a view seconds ago all of a sudden turn cocky and confident? How many drinks did he have? Or was it the weed that clung to his jacket that gave him the boost.

“I think you should give me a chance,” He nips back, and before you can even respond to him, you watch his neck crane down and press his lips against yours.

The crisp taste of his beer stung your lips as they opened and immediately danced along with his tongue. White liquor and brown meeting together to taste each other and leave an acquired flavour in your mouths.

You hummed along to the feeling of his tongue circling against yours before peeling away and molding your lips to sink against each other. Your heart was beating through your chest, nails now digging into your plastic cup and head ducked back as you continue to press your mouth against his.

The feeling of his cold hand pressing against your neck caused you to shudder and tear away from his lips for a second, your eyes peeling open as they look in front of you. Black hair loosely falling on his forehead, the smell of his husky cologne clogging your senses, and the feeling of his fingers now dancing along the back of your neck.

“What are we doing Ash?” You breathe against his lips.

“Something that I’ve always wanted to do,” He says, making your heart launch. You bite down on your bruised lip and tear your eyes away from his, your stomach twist as you try and gain some self control as you almost fling yourself on top of him.

Something that he always wanted to do? You never really found yourself desirable to the point we’re men would see you in that type of light? But maybe what Ash said was just a simple lie, just so he can get what he wants and frankly you don’t even care. You’ve heard lies your whole entire life when it came to boys and this wasn’t any different, maybe you should just let your mind shut off from your stupid ex and just be in the moment for once.

So with that final thought, not having a care in the world, you drop the red cup in your hand and let your lips launch back onto his. Ashton follows your movements and the sound of the nearly empty beer bottle drops onto the hard wood, his right hand now resting along your neck as you both kiss each other.

Warm breaths, beating hearts and the sound of music is the only thing heard in the room as you lick into each others mouths. Soon you feel the weight of Ashton nudging you to lay back on the bed as he lies on top, you feel the cold zippers from his jacket press against your skin and all you can do is moan.

The feeling of his left hand tears away from the hairs on the nape of your neck and dance down your collar bone before letting it cup your breast in his hand, kneading the soft tissue which only makes another moan slip through you.

He pulls away from your lips and begins to suck and press kisses along your pulse, your hands that lie by your side now running up the sleeves of his jacket and into his hair.

A whimper spills out as you feel his hand tug your tank down and free your naked breast, he engulfs it in his cold palm making you let a shaky breath escape before you’re curling your fingers in his hair, the feeling of him twisting your nipple makes you bite down on your bottom lip. The pleasurable pain you feel running up your spine making your shoulders slightly buck off the bed.

“Hmm…” Ashton hums in your neck before tearing away, his eyes once such a light brown and green hue, now a chestnut and forest green colour filled with lust.

Your fingers tug away from his hair as he now descends down your body, his warm lips pressing kisses to your exposed skin as you let your hands tear your blouse and tank off. Your eyes never leaving his as he watches you undress. His lips now press against your pieced belly button as his fingers tear away from your chest and roughly takes your skirt by the band and peels it down your hips, your stockings following soon after.

Not wasting a moment he lets his mouth press against you covered core, lips pressing small kisses against your heat making you quietly moan. You wanted so desperately to tug Ashton into you and make him start devouring you right there but instead you let your hands trail back into his hair and play around with his locks.

Small kisses soon turn into open mouth licks, his wet muscle running up and down your clothed slit that it had your head digging back into the sheets, your legs spreading wider and whimpers endlessly trailing out.

“Ash.. please..” The words slip out so quiet that you assume he didn’t hear from the pulsing music below you, but instead your met with the feeling of his finger pulling your panties to the side and his tongue finally meeting you were you desired.

It circles around your clit gently before you feel his lips suck it into his mouth, a moan drawls from your throat due to the sensation. Soon enough, he’s letting his mouth discover the way you taste which only elects a moan from him. His tongue now dipping in between your two lips and curling around your insides.

“Oh my,” You moan as your fingers dig into his hair, eyes closing shut as you begin to slowly move your hips to the movement of his tongue.

The feeling of his right hand breaks away from your thigh and flows to your hips, his nails leaving small indents as you feel his other hand move away from your panty and rub against your clit.

The feeling of him humming against you sends a vibrating pleasure down your back as he continues to lick you, this only made your toes curl and your hands to fall out of his hair and onto his leather shoulders.

“Fuck,” You moan, your hands tugging him gently away from you as you feel your climax about to overcome your nerves.

And just as you feel it on the tip of your toes, the mouth between your legs pulls away beginning to press wet kisses up your thigh, his hand that once laid against your heat now meeting with the other at your hips.

A groan leaves you as your eyes tear open and look down at him. He mischievously looks up at you, his kisses now run up your stomach once again to lead to your neck.

“Upset?” He teases, only making you shudder at the rasp in his voice.

“I want you Ash,” You say breathlessly, turning your head to knock his out the way and look him in the eyes. “Please,” You utter, fingers now leaving his shoulders and brushing against his rip cage covered by his white tee.

Without any hesitation, Ashton is pulling away from your embrace and leaning back. He shrugs off his jacket, tugs his shirt over his head, his fingers going to the back of his baggy jeans to pull out his wallet to dig through before you see a gold package flash. If your cheeks could burn any brighter they differently would.

The mixture of his clothes and yours are strung through out the room, both of your shoes kicked to the bottom of the bed as he now shuffles his way back up to his original position.

Without question your hand meets the band of his boxers as you begin to inch them down his waist, wanting to return the favour.

“I think that can wait love, I rather be in you right now,” He breathes against your neck, only making your heart stutter. A sheepish smile tugs at your lips as you feel him twist around and lay on his side, his hands laying on your hips, turning you into the same position.

Your head rested on his arm as your back laid against his chest, hips aligned with each other as the feeling of his smell overcomes you. His knees prop up your legs as you hear the tearing of the condom package.

Deciding to distract yourself you let your eyes fall looking at Ashton. His black hair a tossed mess from your fingers, hazel eyes drawn to wear you both meet as he begins to run his member against your heat.

A whimper leaves your lips as you close your eyes when you feel him push inside, his hand now propping up your thigh as he eases into you.

He nudges your head forward and begins sucking kisses down the expanse of your neck, the feeling of his heart beating against your back and the smell of his sweat mixed with his cologne was filling your nose.

“Feels so good,” He mumbles against your skin, his arm that rested under your head turning slightly as he runs his hand against your wrist and takes your fingers into his, lacing them together as you continue to feel him stretch you out.

You never expected Ashton to have a thick piece but you also didn’t expect to be in this exact position right now, literally. Your childhood friend having his way with you while you were both drunk off each other and the alcohol in your systems.

His hips meet your backside before drawing back and pushing back in, your walls expanding with each thrust as you feel him begin a good pace. Moans begin to fall from your mouth, your eyes fluttering open every few seconds as your skin burns from the bruises soon to appear on your pulse from the black haired man beside you, skin still stuck to his lips.

“You’re moans are so pretty,” He breathes against you, his hand that was holding up your thigh runs up your hips to your chest, letting your leg fall as he takes one of your breasts and squeezes it gently.

All you can do is hum at his words because you’re too overstimulated to speak. The feeling of his thickness drawing in and out of you so heavily has you nodding off at the sensation, his fingers intertwined with yours beings to squeeze them together as the hand that was on your breast meets with his head at your neck.

“You like me fucking you,” He says into your ear as his hand squeezes your throat gently.

You nod your head as you feel your eyes slip close, and you were completely wrecked. He was so dirty yet gentle with you, peppering you with kisses yet digging into you so devilishly that it had your mind distraught.

“You like the way I feel inside you,” He continues, his hand growing more tight around your throat.

“Ash…” You say breathlessly, as your hand that rested against the bed sheets rises up and places it against the one making you breathless but encouraging your climax.

“Mm I like the way you feel around me,” He eggs on, and that makes you cry out, your back pushing pack and meeting his hips.

The feeling of your stomach twitching and legs quivering to close makes your head tip back even more against Ashton as you feel your orgasm on the brink.

That has him taking his hand away from your throat and slips it to lift your thigh back up as he continues to thrust into you, his lips press more kisses against your neck.

Your toes curl as the knot in your stomach expands and releases, the satisfying sensation washing over you as you let a deep breath break through your lips with a moan.

“Fuck,” Ashton hisses as he feels you twitch around him, the contractions from your high throwing him into his; his hips stutter before rocking back into you slowly, teeth gently digging into your skin, his breath being blown over the expanse of it.

The thickness of him slips out which causes your eyes to open, his hand dropping your thigh to wrap around your hips as his head buries into your neck.

The room is quiet for a moment as the only thing that can be heard is your hearts calming down and the chatter from down below.

“I would give you more kisses but I’ve made a mess on your neck,” His voice vibrates against you, that only makes you let out a broken laugh.

“I don’t even wanna know what it looks like,” You reply, your hand that rested on the duvet linking with his that rest along your stomach.

This felt nice, the amazing sex and cuddling session after. The room just being quiet and the only thing that can be heard is your breaths and beating hearts. This was so spontaneous that you still can’t even wrap your mind around what happened.

“How would you feel about doing this more often?” Ashton says after a few minutes, his chest moving as he pulls his head away from your neck to lie back against the pillows.

Having casual sex with him? You ponder on the idea. It was definitely one of the best you have ever had, he felt amazing and checked off every box when it came to how to please you. You couldn’t even lie and say that you didn’t find Ash attractive, you are also now officially single, free to due what we you wanted, so fuck it.

“Like… Friends with benefits?” You say, your thumb running against his hand still linked with yours by your head.

“Yeah, friends with benefits,” He confirms.

You let your head swish from side to side as you feel the burning sensation of his love bites strain against your neck as you let out a sarcastic hum to yourself as if you’re thinking it over.

“I wouldn’t mind that.”

[oncamelliastreet]

how would u recommend getting into 5sos?? i have friends who think i'll like them but it feels like a daunting task

OOO OO OOOOO

okay A) do it, they’re the best band ever and literally so funny you’ll die and luke hemmings is the loml so like you need to

B) the way i did it was i just listened to their first album and worked from there, but if we’re being extremely honest here their first album is hardly anyone’s favorite and that’s for a reason, so if you’re gonna listen to an album first i’d say either work from the beginning because you’ll here their growth more, or their 4th album CALM is really good and it’s only like 12 songs plus a bonus track and it’s a really good intro to them, or youngblood is my fav album by them so i’d definitely throw that your way

C) if you don’t want to listen to an album first and just want to get a feel, here are my fav songs by them

- take my hand (joshua tree version) ((ashton, the drummer, has said that this is the song he would want to define their band))

- lie to me (NOT the version featuring julia michaels) (this one comes with an extremely sad music video which i would be glad to describe to you in depth

- bad omens (literally one of their best songs)

- teeth

- no shame

- jet black heart (this one is really personal to their guitarist michael and they’ve said that they’re never removing it from their set list because it’s just too good which is amazing news because this song live is CATHARTIC)

- outer space/carry on (don’t be confused by the random silence in the middle it’s the rain in outer space if you listen closely, also i listen to this one every new year’s eve because it’s very hopeful and comforting)

- older (luke hemmings ft. his wife basically but it’s literally the most beautiful depressing love song and they randomly released it one day so i was crying at the bank after school when it first came out)

- not in the same way (THEIR BEST BRIDGE)

- out of my limit

- gotta get out (the first song they wrote and it fucking slaps dude)

also for some background info: they started out as a pop rock-ish band and luke hemmings is their lead singer, but they all sing and play instruments.

luke hemmings - lead singer, rhythm guitar (but he can also fucking shred because he’s made of angel dust)

calum hood - bass, background vocals mostly (he sings the entirety of wildflower & babylon and has mixed verses here and there throughout all their albums)

michael clifford - lead guitar, background vocals (he also has mixed verses here and there and sings the entirety of emotions)

ashton irwin - drums (and a beast at them) and background vocals (he had verses here and there too but not as common)

if you listen to a song, for example, Teeth, and you pause and think wait, there’s no way that’s the same guy singing because the vocals go so high and they were so deep before, that’s not possible, ITS LUKE!!! HE HAS THE MOST AMAZING RANGE OF ANY MALE ARTIST ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET AND CAN AND WILL SING AS HIGH OR AS LOW AS HE WANTS BECAUSE HE IS AN ICON

and if you wanna get to know their personalities first, carpool karabloke was the first video i watched of them (their australian hence karabloke) and it’s literally just them fucking around in the car listening to their album CALM (side note, that albums is there names —calum, ashton, luke, michael—because if there’s one thing they love, it’s naming an album after themselves. see: 5 seconds of summer, livesos, CALM, 5sos5)

and one more thing, if you listen to them and don’t really fuck with them (you would be wrong, by the way, listen again) then two of their members have solo works!! ashton had two albums: blood on the drums and superbloom, and luke has an album: when facing the things we turn away from (this one i could really talk about for hours because it’s my favorite album of all time) and a long ep called “boy” which is also amazing, so i would check those out

okay sorry i totally just infodumped on you because i have so much 5sos info in my brain and nobody to share it with YAYAYAY so if you ever want like a super in depth breakdown of like one of their music videos or their history feel free to ask me about it because i would loooove to talk about this for hours

also you’ll have to wait a sec for your flower because my sister literally told me she got engaged in the middle of me writing this so i got distracted 😭

[ghost-of-you]

Wait, have you done 5SOS5 for the album things, like you did the other 4?

I haven't but I will now oskaoskoasas here are the other posts if you feel like reading them self titled sgfg youngblood calm random post i made about how the album is telling the story of being trapped in one relationship

5sos5, my tragic love baby, we start it out so strong with complete mess, first self-produced song and first song we heard that was written by the four of them and only the four of them, all of them singing, a recognizable guitar riff, that classic 5sos song structure with a 4 chord melody where the song builds up until it drops at the bridge and comes back to finish it off strong with the last chorus, also "I ask no questions as your colors take their hold as my darkness turns to gold inside"?????? Excuse me??????? Then we move on to easy for you to say, they wrote all that we just let them get away with it, I'm scared to find a piece of peace of mind has haunted me since I heard it for the first time in a shaky Instagram live from the Dublin show, obsessed with the lyrics of this song, I think lyrically it really shows how good they are as songwriters, but this song is also my controversial opinion of the album because there's something in the production of it that deeply bothers me (sorry Michael, I love you) so it's the song I listen to the least, I'm still listening the live cut from the tour diary. Then we go to Bad Omens, I will never accept the fact that that song is not everywhere. I think it's flawless, the way the intro matches the outro so you can get caught in the same loop of going around again that the lyrics are talking about, and that's something that's a trend with them, they exaggerate the lyrics with the production and I think bad omens is the best example of it, I'm particularly obsessed with the way the chorus makes you expect a high note after the somebody, so when we get to the outro we expect the last somebody to be followed by a high else, but they actually drop the note, because nothing is ending in a high note here, not the relationship, not the song. Flawless vocals, flawless melody, flawless production, not a single wrong decision was made with this song. Then we have me myself and I, I think is so much fun, I think they made the perfect pop song, you have simple lyrics that are just repeating, and the way the song is structured it kinda feels like it's just one chorus that keeps going and going and since the song actually ends not only in the middle of the sentence but also in the middle of the progression in the guitar, you kinda feel this need to loop it, I know most people didn't get it when Ashton said that this song was very sgfg, but this song is so sgfg if sgfg was more pop than it is, the way its 4 chords in a guitar that just loops, the way it builds around that riff, the way the drums only come in in the second verse, the way it goes, goes, then just drops before coming back, the outro with the repetition, it's all very vapor of them in my opinion lol. Then we have take my hand, the way Luke wrote it alone and they managed to make it sound like a 5sos song is actually such a good example of how well they work with each other as musicians, because, yes, you can feel Luke's influence deeply in the song, but you can hear them all in it. Also, Luke Hemmings the songwriter you are, I can't quote anything because I would just write the whole song. One of their strongest bridges, amazing song all around.

Then we get to carousel, I don't know if anyone else remembers this but Ashton said that you just need 2 chords to make a great song, and this song technically has 4, but in the verses, they're actually going back and forth with 2, and I think that's such a good way to give you that feeling of spinning that comes with a carousel when paired with the drums, also I feel like this song is the first of many in the album where Luke flexing his vocal range lol, dude starts on his lower register, pulls some high notes and the whole time you're just like *Ashton's voice* you got an epic voice bro. Also, the symbolism of the lyrics drives me a bit crazy. And the way the song drops but never picks back up because you're on a one-way ride and there's no going back, INSANE. Also, Youtube countdown outro my beloved <3. Then we get to the most controversial song on the album. Personally, I think older is a good song, I would've put it as a deluxe track and put moodswings here instead but mostly because moodswings fits the tragic love narrative of the rest of the standard album in a way older doesn't. Love the piano, love the way Luke's voice goes with Sierra's, beautiful song but it feels out of place when you look at the rest of the album. My dear devoted delicate <3. Then Haze. Let's ignore the emotional whiplash of going from a piano ballad to it. I'm actually obsessed when 5sos goes 80s pop, it's a song that makes you want to move. It gives you that very pop feeling while being completely built around a guitar riff, so it's a very pop vibe but it exists around their strength, also Ashton is singing so it is a win in my books lol "when I lived between the bars" <33333333 . And the fact that all of them have production credits on it makes me all !!!!! Then you don't go to parties. I'm in a ydgtp mood so this may be very biased toward it. I love that the verses are built around the bass but the chorus is built around a guitar riff. I'm obsessed with everything about it, the little synth noises thrown all around, Calum playing with his lower register, the drums, Ashton's verse, everything really. Lost my limit cause I'm dumb and I'm passionate. I'm particularly obsessed with how many ways you can interpret the lyrics. Maybe he's looking for someone, maybe the someone he's looking is his old self, maybe he just wants out from his own head. Amazing, incredible, did something to my brain when I first heard it. Then blender, my beloved. LOVE when they make a song around the bass riff. Obsessed with the use of a blender as a metaphor for the cycle they're trapped in, because a blender spins things around while chopping them up, so no cycle is without consequence. Another song Luke is just flexing how good of a vocalist he is. Everything about it feels dramatic, the chorus sang in one breath, the imagery the lyrics are painting, the way the song starts and ends with Luke singing so no intro or outro to get you out of the cycle. Mandatory moment of appreciation for time stamp 1:37 <3.

Then we have caramel. I will never get over this song. It fundamentally changed me as a person. From the sigh in the beginning to the riff at the end. Ashton lower harmonies in the first verse, Luke's voice sounding almost dreamy while the lyrics are talking about getting back to something and how it gets sharper as the song goes and the lyrics start to give you the idea that maybe there's no saving this one. I know it well, caramel, I feel the comedown. I don't know about yall but every time I hear the second verse of this song I want to drop to my knees and scream (and I have on occasion lol). I don't think they made a single wrong choice with this song, from lyrics to production. Love like a landslide, I kiss you goodnight and the implications of the goodnight in a song about fighting for something that you know is doomed because they could've very easily made that love like a landslide I kiss you goodnight, love like a landslide I kiss you goodbye and imply that they are leaving this thing they know they can't save, but no, the love is going down and they are going down with it. Then they just spin you around with best friends. Love that this is a 2 chords lets have FUN song. I love my best friends, they love me, I will hold on to this feeling as long as I can. Michael verse <3333333333. Absolutely obsessed with how they just wrote a song about friendship. Love how this is a song that I can see every era of them playing and just goofing around on stage. Then we have Bleach. Way to put you back in the emotional blender. Again, Luke flexing his range. Lower Calum, Michael verse. You know how I said they sometimes exaggerate the lyrics with the melody? This song has water sounds (I can't determine if Michael actually added waterlike sounds or if he added a waterlike effect to the slides sounds you can get when you switch chords in a guitar) and with a good enough headphone, there's actually a whole layer of harmonies in it that sound like they are playing somewhere with a lower refraction rate than air, like water. It's so hard to watch everything I want, everything I was spinning down the drain. Multitasking 🥺. I do wanna know if this song was the soundtrack to more people impulse changing their hair color because the amount of times I bleached my hair while this song was playing since it came out is a bit alarming. Perfect soundtrack for those of us who dye hair as a bad coping mechanism lol. Then we have red line. I'm definitely biased about this one. This is one of my favorite songs ever. Definitely my favorite on the album. The way they play with the imagery of waiting in a train in it fascinates me, from the oohs that sound like the notes of a train whistle, the synth that sounds like the sound you get when there are station announcements, the echos that sound like the ambient sound you would hear waiting for a train, to the literal train doors closing as the song ends. The lyrics that leaves you wondering if they are waiting for the train to come or for someone to join them on the train they are. The implication of not being welcome anymore. I want back in, but I can't. I would love an acoustic version of it and I think more people would like it if it had a more stripped production, but seriously this song is everything to me. And what a way to end the album when you consider the bird sounds in the beginning of complete mess, to finish it with a door closing. Michael Clifford the producer you are.

Then we have the bonus tracks. They put you in the emotional blender going back and forth with sad songs, lets dance songs. I want whatever Michael put in moodswings so I can inject it pure into my bloodstream. The most Luke flexing his range Luke could get lol (they're not playing this song because they can't change the key or else the rest of the song would be too low but the chorus is too high for Luke to sing every night and I will die on this hill lol). The epitome of I have an anxious attachment style but I am in a long-distance relationship. I love a good reminder of how well all of their voices go with each other. Obsessed with the way they exaggerated the breaths in the bridge, the random piano sounds. Also, do something for me, put moodswings, queue bleach, change the crossfade to 12 seconds, then sit back and enjoy. Then we have a nice little 180 twist because going from moodswings to flatline gets me like that gif with the girls dancing while crying lol. I don't care what Ashton said, I still hear Calum lol. But their harmony game is insane and I think that that chorus has a shitton of layers and that's what keeps us all guessing about who's singing. Anyway, this song makes me want to sit them all down and discuss their range because that shit is HIGH. Again, love me some pop vibes. Sometimes you just wanna dance to a song about falling so hard you feel like your heart is gonna stop. Then we have emotions. Criminally underrated song. Obsessed with the way Michael is singing about anxiety on top of a guitar riff that counts in a self-soothing pattern, I think that's legit genius of him. The way he's harmonizing with himself too, like, he said MY SONG and meant it. I'm doing my best and I guess that's the best I can do. I think this song follows the malum pattern while writing songs together because they have a tendency of repeating sounds more frequently than you would expect, kinda as if they made a list of words that rhyme and tried to put them as often as possible. I'm also obsessed with how low the song is because I think we as a society talk about hitting high notes all the time, but a lower song can be real impressive if you give it a chance. Bloodhound. Forever mad I didn't get visuals of Michael's "he sunk his teeth into the bone" but I can see Ashton arguing against this song because the crowd would clap wrong during the bridge and he wouldn't be able to move past it oksaaoska. Fun song, gotta be honest tho, the lyrics confused the shit out of me for a while there. I do love the beat in this, the combination of the bass and the drums and that thing in the back that sounds like Ashton is banging his drumsticks together. Then we have tears. Anything that has Ashton singing is a win in my books. Obsessed with the imagery in it. There's a hole in the sun caving in and I feel it. Burn the words to start over. Diamonds turn to puddles. Tears hitting the ground, Fears pulling me down. Cashton do know how to make a song. I think if you're going back and forth with a duo in the band, Calum and Ashton create a real nice effect. The rhythm section really popped off with that one. Love how you get double the Ashton influence with how heavily it goes around the drums.

The new vocal coach was an amazing choice, Michael is an amazing producer, lyrically they excelled themselves, really shows off all of their strengths 1000000000/10 best 5sos album and we all know it.

[legolasghosty]

“Do you want a hug?", “Come on. Let’s go home.”, and “I feel like I can breathe better with you around.” for juke 💕

Julie let her foot rest on the damper pedal of the grand piano as Luke held out his last note. It sounded good.

When he stopped, she applauded. "Nice one, grab some water," she said, shooting him a smile.

"Thanks Boss," he responded, grabbing for his green plastic water bottle.

Julie shifted her music sheets around while he drank. She'd originally been wary when Ms. Harrison had asked her to give Luke voice lessons as a way to make up some of the credit she'd lost earlier in the year, but it was going better than she'd expected. Luke was stubborn and wouldn't work on anything he didn't see the value in, but he had a lot of passion and clearly wanted to improve. He was so full of life and energy, and at least 99% of it was all focused on music.

"That felt great," Luke exclaimed, capping his water bottle and giving Julie a wide grin. "Much better than in class earlier. You're amazing, Julie."

Julie felt her cheeks warming and ducked her head before Luke could notice. Okay, so maybe she wasn't totally immune to his smile and his arms and how, when they were alone for his lessons, all of his passion for music seemed focused solely on her.

"Or maybe you just don't pay attention during warmups in class," she teased, giving him a smirk before refocusing on her list of exercises to take him through. Better to keep her crush to herself. Dating was way too complicated, and Luke probably didn't like her anyways.

"Nah, it's definitely you," Luke retorted, moving over to lean on the piano. "I feel like I can breathe better with you around."

Julie looked up, expecting to find him giving her that lighthearted, teasing look that he did when he intentionally messed up the names of famous composers just to mess with her. But when their eyes met, she found nothing but sincerity in his gaze. Like he actually meant what he said.

It was disorienting. But... not bad?

Julie quickly stood, breaking eye contact. "You had a bit of a break on the bridge, do you want to work through that?" she asked, nodding to his music stand.

Luke nodded slowly, seeming almost disappointed, and returned to his papers. "Yeah, definitely. I think it was the register shift, I got caught halfway between my chest and head voice."

"Wow, look at you and your technical lingo," Julie commented, smiling as she looked down at the sheet music to check the notes. "Yeah, that's what I heard as well. Let's do some glides through that part of your range to get comfortable with the shift before we add the actual notes and stuff."

Luke dipped his head in agreement and they got back to work.

Ten minutes later, the alarm on Julie's phone that signaled the end of their time went off just as Luke finished running through the bridge. They both jumped at the drum intro of an old Petal Pushers song.

Julie quickly turned it off and stood with a smile. "Guess that's time," she said.

"What was that song?" Luke asked, gathering his music. "That's not your normal alarm. It's good."

Julie bit her lip, considering brushing it off. But it was Luke. He lived and breathed music. He'd understand how music could hurt as well as heal.

"It's called Love Wild, it's one of my mom's songs," she told him. "It was my alarm for ages, but I... I just started listening to it again."

"Oh," Luke said.

Julie didn't dare look up. She'd developed a serious distaste for the pitying expression that always appeared on people's faces when her mom came up. She'd rather not be annoyed at Luke over it.

"It's a good song, it's about loving the people you love and showing it regardless of what other people think," she added softly. She wasn't sure why she was still talking. She didn't usually talk about this stuff. But Luke didn't interrupt. "And the bassline is awesome," she continued, "and the harmonies on the bridge are magic, I swear, and the last couple of lines..."

She trailed off, feeling her throat start to tighten.

"That's awesome," Luke murmured after a minute.

Julie dared to look up at him. He seemed unsure of himself, which wasn't a common look for him, but his smile still seemed genuine.

"Um, do you want a hug?" Luke asked awkwardly.

Julie chuckled. "I'm okay," she assured him, sliding her folder into her backpack.

Luke frowned. "But do you want a hug?" he asked again.

Julie thought about it for a second. She always wanted a hug from her mom these days, but that wasn't possible. Did she want a hug from Luke instead?

"Yeah, that'd be nice," she said slowly.

Luke smiled and stepped forward to wrap his arms around her shoulders. She let herself relax into his embrace. He was warm, his frame a bit shorter than her dad's. It was nice.

"Hey Julie?" Luke asked softly.

"Yeah?" she responded, sliding her own arms around his waist.

"You wanna come to band practice this weekend? Help me not shred my voice again?"

Julie considered for a second. She hadn't done that before. It felt like a new step in their friendship, to take it outside of the school building and into Luke's friend circle. Was she ready for that?

"Sure, send me the info," she agreed.

"Sweet, this is gonna be rad," Luke cheered, letting her go and pulling out his phone.

Julie laughed. "Come on, let's get home before the janitors kick us out," she chuckled, swinging her backpack onto her shoulder.

"Right behind you, Boss," Luke called.

[hitodama89]

Eurovision 2023

Hoo boy what a contest we had this year! Germany perfectly predicted the mood with their song title "Blood & Glitter"; first it was the latter and after the announcement of the winner it has been the former. Sweden won with a very professional and totally bland performance with a landslide of jury votes that were basically impossible to beat with audience votes... Which was suspiciously convenient considering 2024 will be an ABBA anniversary year. Watchers have been quite upset, and the most upset of them all have been Finnish people, because for the first time since Lordi our performance was hugely loved all around the world! What did we send to the contest then? Well...

Käärijä - Cha Cha Cha | Finland

We sent a green gremlin who was pretty much the exact opposite of everything Sweden represented. Käärijä was pretty much an unknown artist before this, he sang in his native language, his show was absolutely bonkers and the song was very non-traditional for Eurovision. And he very much won over audience's hearts despite placing second in the actual contest! I personally have a bit of a love-hate relationship with the song, but boy would've I still preferred it to win over that world's most calculated entry Sweden sent to compete.

Sudden Lights - Aijā | Latvia

Moving on to the entries I myself liked the best. I had a pretty good year as only one of my faves, Latvia, was dropped out in the semi-finals. Their song was a really nice mix of slower and more energetic parts, but maybe what costed them their place in the finals was the beginning, which was in my opinion the weakest part of the song.

Alessandra - Queen of Kings | Norway

Norway's song was generally well liked in Finland and I was pretty fond of it, too. The viking-like sea shanty vibes were just amazing!

Teya & Salena - Who The Hell Is Edgar? | Austria

This year there were several wacky songs and shows and many of them even hid an important message into their music. I liked pretty much all of them, but my favorite was Austria's criticism of the measly sums of money creative people often get from their work.

Alika - Bridges | Estonia

Melancholic songs are a difficult genre in Eurovision, as it's really hard to grasp the audience's attention with them when many other shows are full of pyrotechnics and lights and flashy colors. But despite all that I really adored Estonia's wistful song and their self-playing piano!

Voyager - Promise | Australia

There were also a few rock entries in the contest and it was pretty difficult to choose which one I liked better, Germany or Australia, but in the end I chose the latter. It's a real shame (and in my opinion weird, too) that neither of them got much points in the finals.

Pasha Parfeni - Soarele şi Luna | Moldova

While rock music is pretty common in the contest by this point, what I never expected was that "weird forest rave" was also going to be a genre that we are going to return several times to! I am not complaining though, as I absolutely loved Moldova's contribution to the collection. It was definitely one of my favorites from this year.

Luke Black - Samo Mi Se Spava | Serbia

My number on fave this time around came from Serbia. To me it had it all: song that sounded haunting and original, really interesting game-like show elements and extremely relatable lyrics. The song was basically about "the world is burning and I just wish I could sleep forever" and like yeah, me too Serbia, me too.

[lovesongbracket]

Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.

Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)

Teenage Dream

Written By: Bonnie McKee, benny blanco, Max Martin, Dr. Luke & Katy Perry

Artist: Katy Perry

Released: 2010

Cover included: Darren Criss & ensemble for Glee, 2011

“Teenage Dream” was released as the second single from Perry’s studio album of the same name. The song became Perry’s second number one Hot 100 single from the album, following the number one peak of the previous single, “California Girls”. While discussing “Teenage Dream,” Katy said that the song is about recapturing the dizzying, thrilling feeling of first love. “When you’re growing up and you’re falling in love for the first time, it’s such an amazing feeling that sometimes you can’t recycle again later on in your life. For me, being in love again now, it’s kind of the same feeling.” In 2018, NPR ranked this as the #63 greatest song by a female or nonbinary artist in the 21st century, saying: “While this era’s faux-woke, grill-sporting Katy Perry has taken a nosedive into a cyclone of dystopian kitsch, there was a time when her appeal was simple: Her nostalgic pop singles were silky and pristine, like a soft swirl of vanilla ice cream. At a time when pop can feel overstuffed with spectacle — multi-artist guest features, visual drops, strategically planned Twitter beef — listening to ‘Teenage Dream’ provokes wistful reconsideration of a classic formula, one whose subtlety and nuance can be easily overlooked. The song is a blissful memory encased in glass: ‘We can dance until we die / you and I,’ Perry sings, promising to stretch the ephemeral. The beauty is in stasis, sealed with a declaration: ‘We’ll be young forever.’”

[Verse 1] You think I'm pretty without any makeup on You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down Before you met me, I was alright But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life Now every February, you'll be my Valentine, Valentine [Pre-Chorus] Let's go all the way tonight No regrets, just love We can dance until we die You and I, we'll be young forever [Chorus] You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream The way you turn me on, I can't sleep Let's run away and don't ever look back Don't ever look back My heart stops when you look at me Just one touch, now, baby, I believe This is real, so take a chance and don't ever look back Don't ever look back [Verse 2] We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece, I'm complete [Pre-Chorus] Let's go all the way tonight No regrets, just love We can dance until we die You and I, we'll be young forever [Chorus] You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream The way you turn me on, I can't sleep Let's run away and don't ever look back Don't ever look back My heart stops when you look at me Just one touch, now, baby, I believe This is real, so take a chance and don't ever look back Don't ever look back [Bridge] I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans Be your teenage dream tonight Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans Be your teenage dream tonight (Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight) [Chorus] (You make me) You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream The way you turn me on, I can't sleep Let's run away and don't ever look back Don't ever look back (No) My heart stops when you look at me Just one touch, now, baby, I believe This is real (Oh), so take a chance and don't ever look back Don't ever look back [Outro] I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans Be your teenage dream tonight Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans Be your teenage dream tonight (Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight)

I See the Light

Written By: Glenn Slater & Alan Menken

Artist: Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi for Tangled

Released: 2010

“I See the Light” is a romantic duet in Tangled between Rapunzel and Eugene. It is sung when Rapunzel is finally achieving her lifelong dream to see the floating lanterns. The song was nominated for best song at the 83rd academy awards but lost to “We Belong Together” from Toy Story 3. “I See The Light” was originally called “You Are My Forever,” and was a reprise of a song Mother Gothel sung to Rapunzel, before being removed. After “You Are My Forever” was removed, the song was still different from what it was in the finished film. It was an anthem-like song at first but Alan Menken decided it should be more gentle.

[RAPUNZEL] All those days watching from the windows All those years outside looking in All that time never even knowing Just how blind I've been Now I'm here blinking in the starlight Now I'm here suddenly I see Standing here it's all so clear I'm where I'm meant to be And at last I see the light And it's like the fog has lifted And at last I see the light And it's like the sky is new And it's warm and real and bright And the world has somehow shifted All at once everything looks different Now that I see you [FLYNN] All those days chasing down a daydream All those years living in a blur All that time never truly seeing Things, the way they were Now she's here shining in the starlight Now she's here suddenly I know If she's here it's crystal clear I'm where I'm meant to go [FLYNN & RAPUNZEL] And at last I see the light [FLYNN] And it's like the fog has lifted [FLYNN & RAPUNZEL] And at last I see the light [RAPUNZEL] And it's like the sky is new [FLYNN & RAPUNZEL] And it's warm and real and bright And the world has somehow shifted All at once everything is different Now that I see you Now that I see you

[thisismyobsessionnow]

My top 37 after having seen all performances but before the final. Comparison is to my top before the semis.

My ranking has mostly been based on the studio versions, it's really only during the last week I've started to let live performances have any impact. So a lot of the changes you see in this one has to do with how well the performances from the semis captivated me.

Top 3 are in a league of their own for me, top 21 are all amazing, top 27 I really, really like and the only ones I don't particularly care for are the bottom 3.

Germany - Lord of The Lost - Blood and Glitter (-)

Australia - Voyager - Promise (+1)

Finland - Käärijä - Cha Cha Cha (-1)

Moldova - Pasha Parfeny - Soarele Si Luna (-)

Latvia - Sudden Lights - Aija (+1)

Slovenia - Joker Out - Carpe Diem (+9)

Malta - The Busker - Dance (Our Own Party) (-2)

Serbia - Luke Black - Samo Mi Se Spava (-)

France - La Zarra - Evidemment (-2)

Azerbaijan - TuralTuranX - Tell Me More (-)

11. Sweden - Loreen - Tattoo (-) 12. Portugal - Mimicat - Ai Coracao (+4) 13. Armenia - Brunette - Future Lover (+5) 14. Norway - Alessandra - Queen of Kings (-) 15. Austria - Teya & Salena - Who The Hell Is Edgar? (-6) 16. Italy - Marco Mengoni - Due Vite (+6) 17. Belgium - Gustaph - Because of You (+4) 18. Romania - Theodor Andrei - D.G.T. (Off and On) (-5) 19. Lithuania - Monika Linkyte - Stay (+6) 20. Czechia - Vesna - My Sister's Crown (-3) 21. United Kingdom - Mae Muller - I Wrote A Song (-9) 22. Georgia - Iru - Echo (-3) 23. Estonia - Alika - Bridges (+6) 24. Ukraine - Tvorchi - Heart of Steel (-) 25. Cyprus - Andrew Lambrou - Break a Broken Heart (-5) 26. Netherlands - Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper - Burning Daylight (-3) 27. Denmark - Reiley - Breaking My Heart (-1) 28. Switzerland - Remo Forrer - Watergun (-) 29. Spain - Blanca Paloma - Eaea (+7) 30. Israel - Noa Kirel - Unicorn (-) 31. Iceland - Diljá - Power (-) 32. Ireland - Wild Youth - We Are One (-5) 33. Albania - Albina & Familja Kelmendi - Duje (+4) 34. Greece - Victor Vernicos - What They Say (-2) 35. Poland - Blanka - Solo (-1) 36. San Marino - Piqued Jacks - Like An Animal (-3) 37. Croatia - Let 3 - Mama SC! (-2)

[bisexualmothman-br]

Gonna start sharing my top 10 entries of each ESC year i've ranked so far whenever i feel like it so here's 2023

10th 🇷🇸 Luke Black - Samo Mi Se Spava: Serbia yet again sending an overrated (affectionate) banger, love the gaybop entries and Serbia's is equal parts cozy and intense, adore the dichotomy.

9th 🇪🇪 Alika - Bridges: Sometimes all a guy needs is a simple ballad, and Estonia serves exactly that, with an amazing build-up that's grown on me since it won Eesti Laul.

8th 🇬🇪 Iru - Echo: I always knew Georgia would land in my top 10 for this year, i love when their entries get unique (Three Minutes from Earth is a banger and yall know i'm right) and the "engrish" is just the cherry on top to prove a song doesn't need deep lyrics to be great.

7th 🇨🇿 Vesna - My Sister's Crown: "Sestro krasyva Oy ty syl'na Khorobra yedyna Korona tvoya" will always be stuck in my head, sisterhood all the way 💅💅💅

6th 🇵🇹 Mimicat - Ai Coração: Somehow the opposite energy of Saudade, Saudade, but just as amazing, i'm just so biased towards portuguese entries due to being lusophone, it's always nice to hear your language internationaly (even if it's the lesser version¯\_(ツ)_/¯).

5th 🇲🇹 The Busker - Dance (Our Own Party): Malta sent a party bop instead of a boring-ass entry???? This song is criminally underrated and i genuinely think it has good chances in the final.

4th 🇦🇹 Teya & Salena - Who The Hell Is Edgar?: poe poe poe poe poe poe poe poe poe poe poe poe poe poe poe edgar allan edgar allan

3th 🇫🇷 La Zarra - Évidemment: That woman and the whole of Joker Out shove in my face how bi i am, and who doesn't love some classic french vibes, yass queen you will sing the great France.

2nd 🇧🇪 Gustaph - Because Of You: Probably my most controversial entry in this top 10, but i don't care, since it won Eurosong i'm enamoured with this song, the chorus is catchy as hell and the verses are so. damn. GROOVY. And those backing singers are giving The Mamas the run for their money. Everything about this entry is great and sometimes i'm conflicted if this is my winner or not but oh well, bias will be bias.

1st 🇸🇮 Joker Out - Carpe Diem: Already showed my love for this entry in my blog so MI BOMO CELO NOČ PLESALI, LJUBILI SE IN SE IGRALI, KOT DA NAS JUTRI VEČ NE BO

[jjenjoysthings]

oh boy I had to buckle up for this one

Exhaustion blinds us and dulls the senses, but so does love. Sometimes it was hard to tell which was taking effect. How long were you willing to ignore the signs in front of you?

oh my god the foolish one references are going crazy in this

When did Luke start making plans without you? Taking a deep breath to calm yourself down, tranquility comes off of you in waves; you barely notice that Luke drops your hand until you hear him speak again

pain crying sobbing sorrows because what about the plans you made together luke? what about the big house on the hill with the big windows and the smell of burnt cookies

Eyes don’t lie, even if Luke does, and you finally see through him, so much that you fear you’ve found his other side. 

Your lips turn into a frown at his words, and you wonder who it is you’re talking to. Surely, not the boy whose arms you fell asleep in last night. You used to be able to figure him out so easily, but now… he’s acting like you’re an enemy. The banter he deals doesn’t usually make you feel like you’re at the short end of a stick, and though he’s right in front of you, it feels like his mind is already miles away. You’re desperate to hold onto whatever you can though, not wanting to let go of whatever’s plaguing him.

I have no words other than dread cause it's genuinely reading a tragedy as it's happening

Luke sighs, blinking slowly, and you’re surprised when he pulls your hands to his chest, placing them under his camp beads, so you stop speaking.  You never know when the last time is until it happens. You didn’t think it’d feel like this.

then you realize he’s begging you. He’s asking for your permission. He’s asking you to let him go.

“I’ll find you!” A threat disguised as a promise, you stand there in the middle of the path feeling exposed as the wretched little girl at your core, desperate to be loved, desperate to be enough.  But it’s not enough for him to stay, now is it?

His face hardens again at the wavering sound of your voice, almost unrecognizable in the dim light, and you know now that this is it. You’ve always been convinced that a love like the one you and Luke share is tailor-made and stitched together by the Fates. But the strings are cut, and like Atropos, he’s the one holding the scissors. The last thing you see are his dark eyes and how he turns to run away, headfirst into a future without you.  For a second you could’ve sworn they flashed gold.

for me, what hurts the most about this is the myth is that humans used to be four arms and four legs and zeus separated human beings into two and they wonder the earth searching for their other half, so like trouble and angelface know what it's like to be with their other half but now they will forever be on opposite sides of this war

also at the end of the day he hurt trouble in a very similar way to Mr. D, both of them have made her feel as if she isn't enough but in different ways: not enough as a daughter despite everything she does, and not enough as a lover to keep him from turning his back on the gods, he hates that D treats or treated her that way but he turned around and did the exact same thing

idk why my brain keeps thinking of sad songs that fit them like where did this self sabotage of my sanity come from fr?? but the songs that I thought of while reading this and while thinking of the aftermath of post betrayal luke: (a lot of taylor swift) the last time, last kiss, my tears ricochet, cardigan (ESPECIALLY THE ORIGINAL BRIDGE), knowing me knowing you by abba, our last summer by abba, saw you in a dream by the japanese house, I knew by lizzy mcalpine,

as much as this one made me tear up I think it might be my favorite part of the whole series? It just makes me feel so much

beautiful amazing wonderful work as always jo mwah <3333

lovers, or partners in crime

a 'partners in crime' installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader

words: 2.1k

summary: (established relationship) directly after ‘if you need to be mean (be mean to me)’, you realize too late that this is your last day with him. perhaps you feel guilty too. Luke Castellan x fem!Dionysus!reader

a/n: eye twitches guys im gonna crank out happy asks after this bc this hurt to the point of me delaying it a few days. drink water and take care luke nation

(posted 2/2/24 & betad by ellie and lari ty ladies mwah @lixzey @mrsaluado )

—

Exhaustion creeps up on you slowly, then all at once.

It’s been a long week at Camp Half Blood—with trying to stop a war from starting between the cabins and praying to the gods that the trio can stop everyone’s godrents from destroying the balance of the world, you could say you were kept busy making sure the place doesn’t go up in flames. 

Taking orders from Chiron and your dad has been your daily routine from sunrise to sundown, and you were glad to have Luke’s arms to fall into at the end of the night. But you woke up alone this morning, and a heavy feeling in your chest that’s been plaguing you for a while now feels more prominent as you drag your boots across camp for another long day.

Exhaustion blinds us and dulls the senses, but so does love. Sometimes it was hard to tell which was taking effect.

How long were you willing to ignore the signs in front of you?

Maybe it was just another bad day. Your mind felt like it was playing tricks on you, still in a haze from Luke keeping you up the night before, the feeling of his touch still lingering in your pores—evidence of eyebags and lovebites carefully hidden under concealer. You find yourself almost walking in a dream state, before Katie calls out to you, tapping you on the shoulder.

“Did you hear? Annabeth’s back. It’s all gonna be over soon,” she exclaims, and the both of you sigh in relief. You’d do anything to get this over with and take a long break. The idea of a long weekend with Luke somewhere, anywhere but here sounds like Elysium in comparison to what you’ve put yourselves through recently.

“You see Luke anywhere, Katie?”

She hums, her hand reaching out to fix some of the trampled foliage along the path, before she looks up at you, shaking her head.

“Not this morning, no. Maybe he’s with Annabeth?”

You nod thoughtfully, stretching your arms back to soothe the tension in your back. You’ll find him sooner or later, now that this is all over.

You always do.

—-

“Clarisse stole the master bolt.” 

Your fingers wound themselves tighter around Luke’s at Percy’s declaration, but you can’t help but watch your boyfriend’s face closely as the rest of the conversation passes in the background. It’s been a weird day, to say the least—helping to set up for Percy’s celebration, and Luke being tightlipped and distant the whole while. You don’t think he’s actually said a single word to you since last night until he dragged you into his cabin to see Annie and Percy.

“Everyone was ready to join the war here. To start fighting each other. An accusation against Clarisse…” you reason awkwardly, more of a question than a statement. Standing here with your friends, you feel like the odd one out. How could you miss out on Clarisse being the lightning thief? But Luke looks at the two kids in front of you as determined as the devil himself.

He knew. 

He spares you a sidelong glance, a smile quirking up on the scarred side of his face.

When did Luke start making plans without you? 

Taking a deep breath to calm yourself down, tranquility comes off of you in waves; you barely notice that Luke drops your hand until you hear him speak again. 

“You’ve stopped the war. You’ve saved the world. Now, it’s safe to tell Chiron and finish cleaning up the mess. I told him we needed to meet him away from the celebration so we can talk without any of Clarisse’s supporters noticing.” Luke crosses his arms, trying to avoid the reach of your powers and your scorching stare while his gaze is sharp on Percy, and suddenly, the heavy feeling in your chest has a name, revealing itself as doubt. 

How could you be so stupid? 

Eyes don’t lie, even if Luke does, and you finally see through him, so much that you fear you’ve found his other side. 

Annabeth grabs your hand, your head whipping to look at her as she speaks, “We’ll keep an eye on Clarisse while you’re gone. Make sure she isn’t going anywhere.” You feel your body shake with paranoia as you start to question everything until the daughter of Athena pulls you back to the present. Taking quick steps out of cabin 11, you take a glance back at Luke, seeing him look glumly at you from the doorway, and it reminds you of a simpler time five years ago, with him standing in the same spot he introduced himself to you on his first day at camp. This time, you don’t walk away.

“I’ll find you later, I…I just need to talk to Luke real quick,” you say biting your lip hesitantly. Annabeth’s gaze is cold as steel as she nods, doubt now running through her as well as she watches you walk back to your boyfriend. You catch him by the arm as he tries to glide past you.

“Hey, are you okay?” You’re searching for an answer Luke will never give you, not out loud—as he dodges your glances, keeping a distance between you two. 

“Come on, I’ve gotta go,” he gruffs, anxiety running off of him in waves as his hands fidget at his sides. The sun is setting, and he needs to finish what he was told to do.

“We still have a bit of ti—” He interrupts you swiftly,“Not enough.”

“I know you’re always in charge around here, but not everything can go the way we want, you know?”

Your lips turn into a frown at his words, and you wonder who it is you’re talking to. Surely, not the boy whose arms you fell asleep in last night. You used to be able to figure him out so easily, but now… he’s acting like you’re an enemy. The banter he deals doesn’t usually make you feel like you’re at the short end of a stick, and though he’s right in front of you, it feels like his mind is already miles away. You’re desperate to hold onto whatever you can though, not wanting to let go of whatever’s plaguing him.

“Angelface. Look at me. Percy’s a hero, everything else will fix itself, why are you so—”

Luke sighs, blinking slowly, and you’re surprised when he pulls your hands to his chest, placing them under his camp beads, so you stop speaking. 

You never know when the last time is until it happens. You didn’t think it’d feel like this.

“I need to do this.” 

He’s not talking about turning in Clarisse anymore, and your body reacts before your mind does, surging forward to hug him. Your fingers run up the expanse of his back, the smell of citrus and musk being familiar but the discomfort in his embrace is not. From here, you can’t see his eyes, but his heart rate accelerates as he wounds his hands in your hair, pulling you closer until the space between you is nonexistent.

“Please,” he mumbles. 

Is it a request? 

The shock runs through your veins as you try to think of what to say next—Luke’s never been one to beg.

“I’d do anything to protect our home, Luke, you don’t have to convince me when it’s the right thing to do.”

Your name falls from his lips, almost like he disagrees with what you said, and then you realize he’s begging you.

He’s asking for your permission. He’s asking you to let him go.

“You’re my home, trouble. You know that right? You’re the only thing that matters to me.”

You try to nod, try to pull away to look at him but he presses you harder into his embrace, like he knows he won’t have the chance again. It hurts, though not in the way you expect.

“L-Luke, you’re hurting me.” Your breath quickens as you try to unravel yourself from him, but you’re unsure where he ends and you begin.

“Just a little bit longer.” 

Your nose buries itself into his neck, and you realize he’s trembling, but you can’t figure out who’s scared, him or you? Voices are echoing in your head and it’s too loud; you clench your fists into his orange camp shirt. Why do you always need to see the proof to believe it’s real? Why do you have to wait until the damage is done?

“I have to do this, trouble. Everything will change and there’s no other way— either we win or we die. Failure isn’t an option for me. Not again.”

“I thought I was supposed to be the dramatic one,” you mutter, closing your eyes so you don’t have to face the truth for a while more, “but I still love you, despite it.” 

Despite this.

A watery chuckle escapes you, and his hands are trembling as he pushes a strand of your hair back. He holds onto you more softly now, and whether you know it or not, it’s to make up for all the time he’ll have to go without holding you after this. Percy calls out to him in the distance and once Luke frees you from his arms, you wonder why it feels like you’re unraveling at the seams, slowly parting from him. The tether you have on each other loosens, and it’s hard to tell who is being freed, and who is letting go. Luke walks away wordlessly, curls bouncing in the brisk air without a second glance until you call out to him.

“I’ll find you!”

A threat disguised as a promise, you stand there in the middle of the path feeling exposed as the wretched little girl at your core, desperate to be loved, desperate to be enough. 

But it’s not enough for him to stay, now is it?

—-

The truth is, Luke broke your heart before you even lost him, by hitting you where it hurts— he hit home. Camp Half-Blood has always been the one place you’ve known as home, and even if you claim to hate it—you’d die protecting it if that’s what was needed of you. You stay vigilant next to Annabeth, who looks up at your unusually quiet demeanor, and you feel like you have to confess to a crime that you didn’t commit.

“Luke’s leaving camp.”

She nods stiffly without answering you, wondering if you know about what else he’s done, too. Unlike you though, she’d rather find out before the damage is done.

The sun had set an hour ago, and fireworks were going off in the distance, everyone celebrating a hero’s return. You noticed Clarisse still sitting around the campfire with her siblings, Chiron still present and watching the festivities, and what had to be your last straw was noticing Annabeth had disappeared from your side. So you do what you do best, chase after Luke, and hope that you’re not too late.

Your breath heaves as you run through the dark forest without a single plan in mind and hoping, just hoping that no one’s hurt. You run faster towards the sound of swords clanging against each other, two figures illuminated by the fireworks in the distance.

What you didn’t expect to see was Luke’s sword pointed at an injured son of Poseidon sprawled out in the dirt.

“Percy!” your voice yells out shakily, your instincts kicking in as the truth is laid out in front of you, something darker and much worse than anything you could’ve imagined. Blue light illuminates the scarred side of your boyfriend’s face as he turns to look at you with shimmering eyes, and you see Annabeth with her sword raised at…the both of you.

Is this what love is…looking at a person who’s hurt you and still hoping they’re alright? You’re exhausted, wondering how long he’s been lying to your face—while he holds you, kisses you, and takes your pain away… and it all amounted to feeling guilty for letting his deception slip through your fingers and hurting the people you love. 

Luke’s scar you used to compare to a bolt of lightning now looks like a tear cascading from regret. And perhaps he does regret this, losing Annabeth and losing you, but he never turns back on his word once he’s made a decision. 

This one was just made without you. 

There’s a moment where everything goes silent despite the booming in the sky and you both take one last good look at each other, and Percy and Annabeth are unsure if you two look like forlorn lovers, or partners in crime.

“Castellan…”

His face hardens again at the wavering sound of your voice, almost unrecognizable in the dim light, and you know now that this is it. You’ve always been convinced that a love like the one you and Luke share is tailor-made and stitched together by the Fates. But the strings are cut, and like Atropos, he’s the one holding the scissors.

The last thing you see are his dark eyes and how he turns to run away, headfirst into a future without you. 

For a second you could’ve sworn they flashed gold.

—-

“I wanted to hurt you

 but the victory is that I could not stomach it.” 

 -Richard Siken

luke taglist (some won't let me tag, turn on my post notifs?): @kissingyourgrl @dorcas4meadowes @lorarri @andrewgarfldsgf @noodlesketchbook @10ava01 @poppysrin @ashisabitgay @timhalamet @liv1104 @leeknows-wife @mxtokko @bugcuti3 @luvvfromme @midmourn @2hiigh2cry @yuminako @niktwazny303 @lukecastellandefender @intergalactic-padawan @iliketopgun @annybah @dangelnleif @thegrinningghost @alyssajunelle @obxstiles @m00ng4z3r @visndcaitswhore @bo0k-lover @elegant-face-tree @this-barbie-is-having-breakdowns @amortencjja @idonevenknow1359 @maliaaaa @targaryenluvs @sakyira @dhdjdjjdhsjdiri @number-onekidqueen

[popblank]

My Eurovision Song Ranking 2023

I have been unusually busy in the last couple of months so this ranking is very late and not too detailed. For this year’s ranking I generally listened to the official videos 3-4 times, though in a few cases I did either watch the video with captions/translations or looked up lyrics. Not feeling that strongly about most of the songs yet.

It’s Loreen

(1) Sweden, Loreen, “Tattoo” – The song is okay but I really like Loreen’s performance, both vocally and onstage. She makes the song compelling in a way that I think few other artists could.

Would listen to again

(2) Finland, Käärijä, “Cha Cha Cha” – Very catchy & instant. The melodic final section makes more sense after reading the lyrics.

(3) Lithuania, Monika Linkyté, “Stay” – Introspective, dramatic, singer-songwritery with a slightly-too-abrupt chorus that is kind of hypnotic. It took a few listens to really grow on me.

(4) United Kingdom, Mae Muller, “I Wrote A Song” – On my first listen I thought, “it’s not bad, though it’s not amazing.” Upon repeat listens I am finding it holds up well and I like that it tells a little story about channeling negative emotions constructively. Hope they have decent staging. 

(5) Portugal, Mimicat, “Ai Coração” – Liking the wordy uptempo Portuguese.

(6) Czechia, Vesna, “My Sister’s Crown” – Dark and dramatic and rather pointedly political; I wonder how good it will sound without the echoing chorus. 

(7) Spain, Blanca Paloma, “EAEA” – I like the flamenco electronic pop, yet feel I should like it more than I do since it seems to follow in the footsteps of “¿Quién maneja mi barca?” (one of my all-time Eurovision favorites). It is a bit hard to follow as it does not quite have the relentless drive of that song.

The rest below the cut:

Enjoy it.  May not seek it out but won’t skip it.

(8) France, La Zarra, “Évidemment” – She really has that dance-pop chanteuse thing going on. It’s compelling as I listen but afterward I can’t remember any part of the song except the title word, and something about her pronunciation of “évidemment” in the official recording is really throwing me off. It almost sounds like an American trying to speak French and it does not sound that way in the live recordings I can find.

(9) Pasha Parfeni, “Soarele şi Luna” – Obvious comparisons to “Shum” and “Fulenn” which were both in my top 5 pre-competition. (Not complaining.)

(10) Ukraine, TVORCHI, “Heart of Steel” – Prefer it to last year’s song, really.

(11) Serbia, Luke Black, “Samo Mi Se Spava” – The music actually evokes video game music in addition to using games as a metaphor.

(12) Austria, Teya & Salena, “Who The Hell Is Edgar?” – Fun, catchy, about something other than the usual topics (love, heartbreak).

(13) Estonia, Alika, “Bridges” – Piano ballad.  I like the repeated rising line in the chorus.

(14) Albania, Albina & Familja Kelmendi, “Duje” – Albania doing what it does.

Okay/Would have to be in the right mood to listen

(15) Iceland, Diljá, “Power” – She has a decent voice and I like the rising line of “oh-oh-oh-oh” at the start of the chorus.

(16) Slovenia, Joker Out, “Carpe Diem” – Musically fine but does not grab me. I generally like the concept of the lyrics but would hope for a little more of the implied angst to come through.

(17) Azerbaijan, TuralTuranX, “Tell Me More” – It doesn’t sound like a Swedish import, which is a pleasant surprise.

(18) Norway, Alessandra, “Queen of Kings” – Initially catchy but really isn’t standing up for me on repeats. I may be biased because MGP was the only national selection that I paid any attention to this year other than Melodifestivalen and my favorites were Ulrikke and Rasmus Thall.

(19) Armenia, Brunette, “Future Lover” – Thankful for the changeup partway through after the twinkly piano & strings. Little bit hard to follow the lyrics but reading them I like the idea of the song. Not a fan of the video though.

(20) Latvia, Sudden Lights, “ Aijā” – Solid. It’s fine.

There is something in it I might like, but not enough for me to seek it out

(21) Croatia, Let 3, “Mama ŠČ!” – Consciously offbeat. Not sure what’s going on, it’s catchy but the song doesn’t seem interesting enough on its own unless they can attach it to a great stage performance.

(22) Australia, Voyager, “Promise” – Starts out OK, nice that it goes a bit harder but only for maybe 10 seconds. With the barrage of questions in the verses, the whole thing feels like an interrogation followed by a bunch of demands. Sounds good though.

(25) Georgia, Iru, “Echo” – Entertainingly dramatic, but kind of hard to understand and the lyrics barely make sense.

(23) Germany, Lord of the Lost, “Blood and Glitter” – Sonically a nice change of pace.  A bit repetitive without using that to good effect.

(24) Italy, Marco Mengoni, “Due Vite” – It’s very Italian. Not really sticking yet but it might grow on me (“L’Essenziale” did). 

(26) Belgium, Gustaph, “Because of You” – I should like this more (upbeat, dance-y, uplifting) but my brain just hears background music.

(27) Denmark, Reiley, “Breaking My Heart” – Denmark and Cyprus can hang out and mope together. The repetition isn’t doing it for me.

(28) Ireland, Wild Youth, “We Are One” – All it needs is a music video where people of all shapes, sizes, colors, genders dance around together (see also: the videos from “Story of My Life” and Malta’s “I Am What I Am”).

(29) Netherlands, Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper, “Burning Daylight” – Talky midtempo. Vaguely Coldplay at end.

(30) Cyprus, Andrew Lambrou, “Broken Heart” – Dramatic wailer, lots of falsetto. Voice is more interesting than song.

(31) Greece, Victor Vernicos, “What They Say” – Different direction for Greece. Not sure about this boom-clap thing at the end.

(32) Romania, Theodor Andrei, “D.G.T. (Off and On)” – Kind of enjoying the bluesy 6/8; reading the lyrics it’s a familiar theme but the official music video stage performance is a bit off-putting.

Dislike outweighs like

(33) Malta, The Busker, “Dance” – While I feel the message of the song, the saxophone riff and “I feel better in my sweater” are deeply annoying to me.

(34) Poland, Blanka, “Solo” – Not offensively bad, just vaporously insubstantial.

(35) Israel, Noa Kirel, “Unicorn” – What exactly is the power of a unicorn, mythologically?

(36) Switzerland, Remo Forrer, “Watergun” – Feels faux-deep and particularly odd coming from Switzerland. Sounds like an attempt to cross “Arcade” (playing games theme) and last year’s Swiss entry (muddled message).

(37) San Marino, Piqued Jacks, “Like An Animal” – Kind of like Finland’s song last year but less fun. “I can smell you like an animal,” charming. 

[issaxcharlie]

We say we're friends, we play pretend (1/2)

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Fem reader

Summary: Charlie and Y/N were best friends and a couple as teens, after their breakup they meet again 4 years later on the bootcamp of JATP and have to work together. Will something else happen or they are just friends?

Charlie must have imagined something like this could happen. Since Kenny discovered her 5 years ago, she has been a really close friend to the director, participating in some way or another in almost all his projects.

In front of him after years, Y/N Y/L, his childhood best friend and ex-girlfriend. The young actor is not going to admit that he saw every single one of her projects or how moved he was by her in each one of them, many times even thinking of maybe sending her a little message saying the incredible job she did.

But he never found the courage.

It’s weird to remember how he spent most of his life next to the woman, now one of the top youth artists with multiple musicals and movies on her hits list. They always had a strong bond, every single day together. Sleepovers, music classes, dancing classes, homework, parties, movie nights, hockey, illness days, pretty much everything. At the age of 15 they began a very sweet and innocent relationship that ended at 18 when Y/N moved to New York to work in her first leading role.

The break up was on good terms but painful, so painful that both preferred to lose contact completely than to have the other from time to time opening the wound again and again.

And there she was. As beautifil as ever, speaking happily with Kenny while Madison and Owen jump up and down, Jeremy smiles and Charlie looks like he wants to throw up.

“Y/N Y/L, my golden star. She is the official composer of the soundtrack, and she will be supporting you throughout the album process as well as helping Paul and me in other creative aspects, I know she is the same age as some of you but she has a lot of experience in this and all the necessary preparation so don't hesitate to get all the knowledge you can out of her."

Everyone introduces themselves until the guitarist is the only one left, luckily for him, he’s in voice rest these two weeks so he literally cannot speak.

They both look nervous but the moment their eyes meet their complicity comes out and both smile slightly.

“He’s Charlie, he is in voice rest but we are fans of yours. We cried yesterday watching your last musical, it was just brilliant." Owen lets out hardly breathing, Y/N turns with a smile to see the Canadian boy who wants to kill his friend and then commit suicide.

“Thank you! This is going to be such an interesting experience.” The singer murmurs as she winks at Charlie.

2 hours later they had both been avoiding each other, Y/N writing in a corner while the band and Kenny discuss costumes with Soyon, in which at least half an hour has been wasted trying to understand what Charlie is trying to say with the few words he writes with an apple pencil on his ipad in his horrible handwritting.

Y/N gets frustrated and goes to where they are, approaching behind Charlie's shoulder to see the iPad. She quickly identifies the two words, one so crossed out that it looks like a doodle, but years copying each other's homework pays off.

"He's trying to say that if Luke isn't going to wear bandanas, at least consider wearing beanies." The young woman says as she leans on the shoulder of who was her first love.

Charlie freezes at their proximity, blushing a little at the feeling of being close after so long. Luckily his castmates don't realize it because all their attention is on her.

“You are just good for everything huh? Even deciphering hieroglyphs." Owen comments, smiling at her and winking exaggeratedly to make her laugh.

Charlie can't help but feel insecure with the situation. It could be a friendly thing but If Owen really tries to flirt with her, he doesn't know how he would react. Is sad enough not having her in his life anymore, having her as his best friend's girlfriend would just be too painful.

Now, he knows he’s exaggerating, and a lot. But he has to do something about it. Better safe than sorry.

He stretches his neck to meet the eyes of his ex-girlfriend, who is now only inches away. She quickly gets flustered, but hides it pretty well. The problem is that he knows every gesture perfectly and sees through her mask.

“Wh- What, Gillespie?” She manages to say, Charlie can’t help a smile seeing the way she still reacts towards him.

When you know a person completely, every facet, every gesture, every peculiarity, speaking without words is as natural as breathing. And they had both forgotten how amazing it feels to have someone in your life who is this compatible and magnetic.

They start a conversation, she answers to who secretly still believes as her person while he continues making gestures and mimics that no one else understands, writing a word from time to time to make the talk flow better.

"I know. Hey, it's not my fault! So you excuse yourself with the ‘can't talk’ thing huh? how convenient. Yeah, Ok, I will. I said I will!" Her words are the only thing that they manage to get out of the conversation that the secret ex-couple is having, since no matter how much attention they pay to him, they have no idea how Y/N manages to decipher it.

"I have no idea what's going on but I'll take it as a miracle, I was just going to suggest ignoring Charlie these 2 weeks." Jeremy jokes, everyone nods their heads.

“I mean, it’s still a good option.” Madison replies.

The 14 days go by quickly, and with the former couple spending time together daily, rehearsing Charlie's guitar solos together, with Y/N translating his horrible scribbles, or sometimes simply being close to each other enjoying the company, absentmindedly placing their hand on the other's leg or their forehead on their shoulder for a few seconds during the breaks.

Basically the whole team has noticed the flirtatious smiles and the looks, but Charlie was the weakest rival of both and the one who could release some information about it, and without being able to speak they basically ran out of an informant, since the young singer didn’t let go a word about her unexpected chemistry with the guitarist except the typical ‘we are just good friends’.

But without a doubt the energies began to multiply on Monday when Charlie arrived with the green light to be able to speak and start singing in rehearsals. Madison couldn't attend the first few hours because she was at school, so Y/N was going to cover her so the boys could practice.

“The first on the list is Finally Free, the place where we are going to record it only gave us two weeks from now so it will have to be one of the priorities. For the first rehearsal just vibe with the song and we’ll discover where to go from there. Oh, and good luck keeping up with my golden star, you’ll need it."

Y/N starts the first verse on the keyboard, and gets up to sing the chorus in the center, trying to ignore Charlie and looking up at Jeremy. She hadn’t heard him sing for a couple of years, but the same butterflies appear in her stomach and she knows that she will melt if she looks into his eyes.

Unfortunately for her, Kenny doesn't have the same plan, and just before the second verse ends he tells her to walk over to Charlie, who immediately smiles and sings the pre-chorus with much more enthusiasm. The energy they radiate floods the place, both getting closer and closer. By the time the bridge arrives, their foreheads are practically against each other, their lips only an inch apart, and with a confidence and comfort while singing to each other that makes all those who suspected that there was something between them now practically sure.

Luckily there are only Jeremy, Kenny, Owen and Paul in the room, who decide to play a game of divide and conquer now that the snitch part of the equation can speak.

“Y/N, can you come with me for a moment? I have a new idea for ‘Wow’ and a fresh pair of eyes is just what I need.” Paul says, sacrificing himself for the greater good.

“Yeah, of course, I’ll be right back.” The singer takes the opportunity to leave this staring game with Charlie and quickly walks away from the guitarist, who winks at her in a flirting way in response.

The moment they walk out the door, everyone turns to see Charlie, who has no idea what they're up to.

“What?”

"After what just happened you just can't keep pretending nothing's happening. Man, that was more intense than the whole Troyella moments during all three movies." Kenny pretends to be offended for a second and then nods.

"I have never seen anything like this in all my years of career."

“Yeah dude it was electric.” Owen replies, smirking.

“She’s my person.” Charlie mumbles.

If he’s being honest with himself, deep down he always knew she was the only one for him. But that realization was freaking scary. What's next if the only person for you has already turned the page? gave up without a fight? what's left?

"What?" The three ask in unison, and Charles begins to sing like a bird.

“We grew up together and then we lost the way. Like in those romantic movies where just everyone knows they belong together except the childhood best friends and then they end up ruining their lives by being in denial.”

“From what I saw getting back on track shouldn't be too difficult, Charlie. I assure you that whatever you feel she feels it too. Her eyes don’t lie." Jeremy tries to reason with him.

“Leave your teen problems behind. You are old enough to decide what you want and find a way to make it work. But you have to stop pretending that nothing is happening first." Owen scolds his friend.

“Do you love her?” Jer asks.

“That answer is always going to be yes, I just could never stop loving her even If I tried. And I did.” He really did. The surprise he got when the second he had her close to him his heart began to beat like crazy and all he wanted was to hug her and fix everything. It was as if when seeing her eyes time hadn’t passed, as if only the day before they’d been goofing around together. That bond is so big that he doesn’t believe it’s possible to break.

“Then do something about it, bro! Go get your girl back!” Jeremy advises while Kenny smiles.

“Yeah man, it’s ‘Now or never’ like her song, and I guess ours too now? Since she wrote it for Sunset Curve? Well, anyway, it’s like our song says.” Owen exclaims excitedly.

“Ohhh, musical inspiration, let me try. ‘Get up, get out, relight that spark’.” Jeremy sings to Charlie.

“Jer, you are a genius. If you think about it wake up is actually a pretty good soundtrack song for this situation. ‘It's not what you lost, It's what you'll gain raising your voice in the rain’.”

They both keep singing the song until they reach the bridge, Charlie tries to look frustrated but a slight smile escapes his face.

They are right, he still hasn't lost this fight.

👻PART 2 RIGHT HERE

[lilyharvord]

thanks for the tag Julia ((((:

3 ships: Marecal (convinced I built this ship and have sailed it for almost 8 years now), Nikolina (listen I’m a simp for princes that fall in love with powerful women that could kill them easily, the fact that I only got crumbs of them in SaB S2 is my villain origin story), LukexMara (this Star Wars legends couple holds a special place in my heart)

First ship: luke and Mara 🥺 (my first big kid book series was star wars and of course I shipped the spicy red head that wanted to kill the sunshine character because of a ✨misunderstanding✨)

last song: Francesca by Hozier because I'm still trying to write my harbor bay fic cause I'm in the mood for a man being pathetic immediately after coming back from the dead by crawling along the sad to the woman he loves.

Last movie: Cinderella the live action one (this movie just makes me so happy. Something something, it was made to look like a baroque painting, something something, best acting of Cinderella I've seen since Ever After, something something, it gives me Red Queen AU ideas. It's just so well done. )

Currently reading: (okay don't judge me) The Traitor Queen by Danielle L. Jenson (I just want to finish the Bridge Kingdom so it can be off my goodreads finally), Kings Cage (gotta finish my tour of the Red Queen series again), and The Starless Crown (trying to read a big kid fantasy book and it's hard 😫)

Currently watching: Fridge (amazing by the way) and Outlander when I'm bored of Fringe

currently consuming: an insane amount of pumpkin cream cold brew for my overnight shift along with these Ghost Pepper chips that are just amazing.

currently craving: a really really good bowl of ramen. ):

i'm tagging............ @mavensbluemoon, @lucy-the-cat, @nikyjaimes19. ✌🏻

9 people you would like to get to know better

[ghost-of-you]

I just came across your analyses of all the 5sos albums and can I just say: chefs kiss. amazing. from the way you approach them both musically and lyrically (are you a musician? you have a very good ear) to being able to tell who is singing which part of the harmony (when there’s more than 2 singing at once I have No Idea, and even when there’s just 2 I’m still a little hit and miss). so grateful you exist and did them!!! not only for my enjoyment purposes but also because of my crazy projects I’m about to tell you about just in case you’re interested

anyway, it started with the RAH version of teeth. I’m a classically trained violist, I’ve played in many orchestras, I looked and asked everywhere I could think of just to lay my hands on something like the score so I could maybe pull some musician friends together and play it. No avail. Then, sleep deprived and slightly manic and very unmotivated in the middle of writing my honours thesis I must’ve played that bass riff when messing around on my viola and was like ‘this isn’t even hard let me just open musescore’ and decided Luke’s voice best fit the cello and calum the viola and six hours later it was a whole orchestral piece with the riffs passing around the upper strings like the RAH version and also woodwind and brass instruments somehow and then the bass riff led me straight into thin white lies which quickly morphed into NITSW (and can I just say that bridge is the best thing ever when played by strings) and I was like, this is telling a story. That became the first movement of the concerto.

second movement had to start with the flutes playing the piano intro of lover of mine, then I borrowed ghost of you from youngblood and threw in lonely heart, all the ones in vaguely 3’s as far as timing goes went in, all satisfactorily longing (if mvmt 1 is Relationship Angst) ending on a reprise of ghost of you chorus a semitone up (I’m not even sure anymore tbh, it’s def less cohesive but pretty I think) and I tried to copy its RAH intro as an outro. By then I realised I wanted to make the third movement about self discovery that ended on red desert because the album is just SO SAD and it deserved a happy ending and I wanted to try fit as many songs from the album in as I could (no shame and kill my time didn’t fit thematically unfortunately and easier should’ve been in movement 1 but sonically it just didn’t go, at least not yet I’m open to attempting to incorporate any of those songs) so started with old me. I realised I could overlay it with best years. Weird choice I know but the chords and melody worked well enough (and I still don’t think best years has been brought to justice ngl). Then I overlaid wildflower with high which is surprisingly a combination that I love, and it worked music wise and I thought they offset each other alright?? I’m still not quite sure where I’m going with it yet. but then comes red desert and I did the RAH intro and the whole song with harmonies (does get repetitive and idk what to do with that yet) and it’s like. yay, I gave CALM a happy ending.

I guess what I’m asking is I want to do more of these for more of their albums or combination of them (like they’re genuinely so fascinating from a musical and storytelling lens I can’t get enough) and I’ve got some ideas but I want to hear if you have anything you can just hear coming after each other. like complete mess and red line or smth?? even moodswings and space between a rock and a hard place?? idk. just ideas. throw them all at me. I’ll do it and dedicate it to you

Okay, first, no, not a musician, it's just that my dad was a dj, so i grew up around a lot of sound equipment because he's very particular about sound quality and that totally developed my ear for that type of stuff and my interest for music is that much more intense because of it (i did teach myself how to play the guitar and i do sing, but, like, i don't have any real training) and I really appreciate you coming here to say these, because i have a lot of fun writing those. Also I saw your tags, don't know if you ever figured it out but the milf anthem is mrs all american lol

Second, I'm desperate to hear what you did with calm, from the description alone it feels like something impressive, I'm very interested to see how you overlayed high and wildflower because i can see it, but i can't really imagine how that would actually work sokaosksokas

And third, I actually have quite a few smaller combos i like to push together (i went through a mashup phase when i was learning how to play 5sos songs lol) but i usually go from lyrics and adjust the guitar to fit my voice, i have no idea how that could work for you, but one i always do is vapor -> lie to me -> why wont you love me -> bad omens (it used to be high at the end, but then they dropped bad omens and i liked the way that narratively bad omens closed the loop, you end up trapped in the relationship you know it's not working I like that a lot for this combo), i have a few weirder ones, that are mostly the ones that i never fully managed to make it work but i think they could, like moodswings into bleach, story of another us into close as strangers, i know you saw my post about rearranging 5sos5 to tell a story and for some reason i think you can overlay caramel and bad omens, and red line and you don't go to parties (this one i admitedlly don't really know, but i think the red line riff with the ydgtp riff could be something, just a feeling lol), there's the rhythm section mashup, tomorrow never dies -> babylon -> tears, that I think you can make something with the bass in all of them, for some reason vapor and me myself and i, talk fast -> not in the same way -> blender -> kill my time, this one i think its cool because of the 80s pop of the melodies and the progression of the story with the lyrics, lover of mine -> best years -> older -> ghost of you, again you have the narrative and i think the piano can work all of there to make this tragic love song. And this is everything i can think of right now, but i will probably think of more as soon as i hit post tho soaskookasas

But seriously, this sounds really cool, please let me know how it progresses <3

[heliads]

The Eternity Ahead

Based on this request: “The female reader is dating Luke and is one of the rhythm guitarists of Sunset Curve. On the way to the boys’ funeral, the reader dies in a car crash. As a ghost, she becomes the rhythm guitarist of Julie and the Phantoms.”

masterlist

also featuring a very cool moodboard made by @thornyrose463​!

Your eyes scan the sheet music in front of you, one line after another. The golden light of midafternoon filters into the crowded studio through a row of dusty windows, illuminating the focused looks of one singer after another. Luke tosses his head back to nail a particularly troubling note, and you can’t seem to keep your gaze from tripping back to him. It’s funny, isn’t it- that after all this time, you still stare at him like he’s a stranger and your heart is fresh for the falling? You’ve never felt like this before. Well, never for anyone else except Luke Patterson.

Luke, having successfully sung his part of the chorus, turns back to face you with a relentless smile. Looking at him, singing the words he wrote during nights so hard he could barely stand to go to sleep, you can’t help but feel a rush of pride for the boy you love. No matter what cards were dealt to him, no matter what bad deals or fallings-out he endured, he still looks at you like he’s seen a supernova. You sometimes wonder what it would be like to have that same boundless enthusiasm, that want to run even when you fall down and skin both your knees.

Luke spins away from his place at the front of the band, dancing in between the other band members to find his spot next to you. He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead before starting to sing again. You laugh in spite of yourself, letting the high note join the rest in the bridge of this latest song. Next to you, Reggie grumbles. “You’d better not do that in our performance this Friday.” You flash him a teasing grin. “Maybe we will. You don’t know that.”

You run through a few more songs before Luke and the rest declare the practice session to be over. You can tell from the way he runs his hands through his hair that he’d like to keep going on forever, even when his fingers bleed through from the steel strings he seems to pray to and his voice loses all connection with his larynx. This isn’t just a random obsession- your band will be performing at the Orpheum in two days’ time, two days from the biggest dream you’ve ever had. You understand why Luke wants to run through every song on the planet and then some, but luckily he expresses sympathy for your fingers and lets the rest of you drift away from the piles of instruments and sheet music that line the floor of the studio.

You’re one of two rhythm guitarists in Sunset Curve, one of five singers in a band laced with hopes and dreams that seem always on the edge of coming true. This time, however, they will be real. The Orpheum is one of the best gigs around, and to get here after the months and years you’ve poured into the band seems like a dream come true. It’s amazing to even think about, as it is to you and your boyfriend both.

Luke, after gingerly placing his guitar on its corresponding stand, strolls up to you once more. He leans his arms around your waist, grinning that same music-drunk smile he always seems to have after playing. “So? You think we’re ready?” He asks, and you laugh. “After the hours we’ve spent practicing? Luke, if we’re not ready I don’t think anyone is.” Luke rolls his eyes. “We haven’t been meeting that often.” Alex, seconds away from leaving through the door, shouts something over his shoulder. “Only every day for hours, Luke! I’d say that’s fairly often!”

Luke makes a face as his friend ducks away, unable to keep in his laughter. You can’t hide a smile yourself. “He’s just teasing. I think we’re fine.” Luke reluctantly draws his gaze back from his friend’s retreating form. “He’d better be. This is a big deal.” You nod, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek before drawing away once more. “It’s a very big deal. That’s why we’re all very invested, even some of us more than we should be.”

Luke huffs in indignation at this, but you’re already spinning away to grab your bag from where you’d tossed it an hour or two earlier. “Listen, we’re going to be fine. Promise. We’ll meet up for sound checks and everything will be perfect. They’re going to think we’re superstars.” Luke frowns. “You’re wrong there. We’re already superstars.” You raise an eyebrow, and he breaks out into a laugh. “Okay, okay. I’m kidding. Appreciate the confidence talk, though.” He kisses you one last time before the two of you leave the studio, shutting off the lights and letting night creep into the room once more.

The Orpheum is just as grand as you’d hoped. The backstage alone is bigger than any of your other gigs, and Luke and the rest of you pour your hearts and souls into even the sound check. The girl setting up the venue, Rose, looks impressed already. Reggie and Bobby bound over to her after they’re done, swapping a t-shirt for flirty comments. Luke takes his time, strolling over to the rest of the bandmates with his arm draped around your shoulders.

There’s an hour or so to go before you have to start setting up in earnest, so the boys suggest getting street dogs. You, however, have seen your fill of low-quality meats, so you decide to get food from another local shop with Bobby tagging along behind you. Luke lets you go with a wave and a promise to be on time. In the years to come, you can’t help but wonder if you should have let your food preferences go this once and forced yourself to follow him. Would it have been worth it to have those few last moments together, instead of having him die when you were gone? The mute horror you felt when you stumbled upon them, all three boys dead at your feet, was enough to last a lifetime. Would it have been worse to lay dying with them?

In the end, you’ll never get to know. What you do get to know is the burn of tears at the back of your throat, watching the ambulance drive away. You know the hours spent waiting at the hospital, the eventual result that they would never wake up and see you again. You know the black clothes waiting in your closet, the somber look on your father’s face as you drive to the funeral. It’s raining outside as you go, almost fitting for the devastation in your heart.

If you had been more focused on the actual drive over to the cemetery, had you not spent as much time lost in your head and unable to think on anything more than the fact that the boy you loved was dead and gone, you might have noticed that the roads were slick from the rain. You might have noticed the way your father’s hands gripped the wheel, as if he wasn’t quite sure of himself. In the end, you don’t notice much of anything until the car hits a particularly deep patch of water and the entire vehicle goes sliding off the edge. You’re weightless for a moment, trapped even as you hurtle off the road, and then the car flips and lands in a nearby ditch with a crunch of broken glass and tearing metal. Your last thought is that at least now you can be with Luke again, and then you know nothing at all anymore.

They say your parents died in the crash along with you. They say the accident happened so quickly that you wouldn’t have felt much pain or remembered anything at all. This is what Luke and the others tell you when you first show up, flickering in and out of the air at the studio before finally solidifying in a heap on the floor. It took a while for you to regain consciousness, even as a ghost, and when you woke up you saw Luke’s face twisted with concern. You thought briefly that you might have truly died and he was with you at last. In the end, you were only partially right- you were both dead, yes, but there would be no happily ever after for you just yet.

Luke had explained everything he knew about ghosthood, ending with a bittersweet smile that at least you hadn’t left him yet. “No rest for the wicked, huh?” You’d said, and Luke had shaken his head. “Not for us. Hey, that sounded pretty cool. Think we could write a song about that?” You laughed at that. “I think it’s been done many times before, unfortunately. You might have to pick a slightly different topic for the next album.”

As it turns out, Luke, Alex, and Reggie had only been ghosts for a couple of days before you showed up, so they were more than willing to have you resume your spot as rhythm guitarist in the band, especially after Bobby’s requisite departure. You were appropriately horrified by his deception and theft of the band’s songs, with not a word spared for the friends who had supported him. This was the last shot that you, Luke, and the others had at a legacy, and he had erased you without a second thought.

In this band, too, is Julie. Julie Molina is a butterfly in human form, always smiling and ready to soar up to the ceiling right along with her high notes. She had been thrilled to meet you, mentioning in a grinning whisper that Luke had talked about you all the time, even though she’d scarcely known the boys for a few days. “He’s practically infatuated with you. It’s cute to watch.” You’d laughed at that, especially at Luke’s look of betrayal.

However, the afterlife isn’t quite as peaceful as you’d hoped. It’s amazing to perform alongside Luke and the others at the schools and other gigs Julie manages to cook up, but it’s never quite the same. You always disappear at the end of each performance, an unnameable regret that Luke shares along with you. You’ve seen his same slight bitterness reflected on your face, that even the thrill of performing is shadowed by the neverending agony of being ignored by the rest of the world.

On one of these such nights, after playing to a club that was packed with cheering listeners, you can’t shake the gnawing urge that it will never quite be enough. You always disappear after the last chord is played, and it only serves as a reminder that you will forever be a ghost, known only to a few and never remembered. It’s like dying all over again after every performance, knowing that you will only be known as a scant few holograms to be scattered by the breeze.

You head out of the studio, wanting to stretch your legs or at least try to run from the haunting knowledge that you’ll always be cut off from the rest of the world. Luke follows shortly after you, and you turn to greet him with a wry smile. “Are you feeling lonely too?” Luke nods, jogging up beside you to lace your fingers with his. “I just wish they could keep seeing us. Even once would be enough, to be able to talk with people and have them legitimately see me.” He doesn’t have to keep speaking for you to know what he means- his parents. Luke wants to see his parents, to ease their grief at least a little. Your parents died along with you in the car crash, so you don’t share in this burden. It is not one that seems remotely pleasant to endure.

You lean your head against his shoulder, hoping that even this quiet touch can help soothe the troubles racing across his brow. “I guess we’ll never really know. I’ll be here for you, if that helps, and so will Alex, Reggie, and Julie. Maybe things will change, maybe we’ll find a loophole in the rules of ghosthood and be able to find a way out. That unfinished business thing Willie mentioned might do the trick. Regardless, I’m here for you. No matter what.”

Luke smiles at you, gratitude shining in his eyes. “And that’s everything to me.” He sighs suddenly, staring at the sidewalk in front of you as the two of you walk. His footsteps echo off of the concrete for one block, two, and then he speaks again. “I was so afraid to die. I never talk about it with anyone else, but I was scared. That was the worst part of it- it wasn’t immediate, like dying of poison is in the movies. It was slow, and painful, and I didn’t know I was really dying until it was too late to do anything. All I could think about is that we were so close to performing, and we just managed to miss it again. And then you weren’t there, and I thought I would never see you again, and-”

His voice cuts off for a second, and he grips your hand with renewed vigor as if this touch alone can bring him back from a death that will never let him go. “I wondered what it would be like when you found us. I wanted to do something to warn you, but it was too late. Then you died too, and when you showed up I had the worst thought that maybe it was okay and good things could come of it.”

He seems almost ashamed to admit this, but you refuse to let his doubts cloud his mind for too long. “You don’t have to feel bad about wanting to see me again. One of my last thoughts is that I would be with you, and now I am. We don’t have time to always look back to what might have been, even if we have an eternity as ghosts. What matters now is you, and me, and where we go from here. I’ll follow you anywhere, Luke Patterson, if you’ll have me.”

Luke’s smile looks almost radiant in the setting sun, and you feel overwhelmed by the sudden want to kiss him and never stop. “Of course I’ll have you. Only if you have me.” You let yourself smile too, for once unafraid of what the future will bring. “Always, Luke.” Luke nods at this, letting his gaze stray from the dusk-clothed neighbourhood to rest happily on you. “Always. That sounds good to me.”

This is what you remember when the times get worse and the bad twists of fate seem to keep arriving at your door, what you remember when you and Luke manage to get yourself locked into a position at Caleb’s club. You were supposed to have your eternity, weren’t you? Why now does it seem like your afterlife will be cut short, either tied to the Hollywood Ghost Club forever or locked away after you complete your unfinished business?

You manage to get a gig to the Orpheum, and it feels like you might finally have a chance to truly end your ghosthood next to Luke. It’s bittersweet, of course, because although it means an end to the constant pain of the jolts it also means that you’ll never be able to walk by Luke’s side again. However, you already had to endure the pain of living after his death. At least now, dying next to him, you won’t be separated. It’s a ghost of the promise you’d made to him, but you’d been ghosts already. What more could one loss hurt?

However, you won’t be able to get out quite that easily. You’re mere minutes before performing onstage at the Orpheum when you’re yanked away to Caleb’s club, forced to change into some tasteless but no doubt expensive dress. Luke, too, looks equally uncomfortable in a navy suit- Caleb’s forcing him to wear a jacket with sleeves. That has to hurt.

Performing on that stage, looking into Luke’s eyes and seeing the agony of being forced to stay there against your will, just makes you even more willing to break away. Even after you escape the Hollywood Ghost Club, even after you perform at the Orpheum, you still find yourself crumpled on the ground of your old studio, feeling never ending agony as the jolts worsen in volume. Luke reaches for your hand, taking it and pressing a kiss to your cheek. “You won’t leave me. Right? Not now. Not ever.”

You manage a feeble laugh even as your body is wracked by another jolt. “Of course not. You promised me an eternity. I expect you to deliver.” You’re hit by one jolt that was even worse than the rest, and curl up in his arms. You have no doubt that death will arrive for you any minute, and make a silent plea that you’ll be able to stay with Luke through all of this. You wait, shoulders bowed, but the end doesn’t come. Instead, you sit up slightly to find all members of Sunset Curve glowing with some strange golden light, a shield protecting you from the jolts. You watch with awe as Caleb’s stamp erases itself from your wrist, and you feel lighter than you have in, well, decades.

Luke looks over at you, unable to hide his giddy relief. “We’re alright. I think we’re alright.” He kisses you now in earnest, until Alex and Reggie start complaining loudly about how they’re being forced to witness unnecessary horrors. You laugh at them, and at the annoyed look on Luke’s face, although you do lean in to kiss him again, just because you can. You still have your eternity, that is all that matters.

jatp tag list: the julie to my phantoms @underc0vercryptid​

[yourlocalfictionalenthusiast]

IN LIFE, IN DEATH...

PART FIVE

:Masterlist:

Warnings: Swearing and angst, baby!

A/N: I just realized that the tags on Part Four got messed up so i'm sorry for everyone that didn't get tagged! <3

---

June 1994

“I can do this.”

You mumbled to yourself as you paced in the sand, rubbing your sweaty palms against the leg of your jeans.

From your spot ‘backstage’ area, you could see the crowd as they waited for the next band, and it was huge. Huge enough to where any other day, you would’ve been buzzing with excitement, unable to sit still until you got behind your microphone. You would’ve been nauseous for a whole different reason.

But today was different.

Today you were singing a new song that you had spent weeks writing. The boys helped with the melody here and there, but it was the first whole song you had written in years, and at the end of it was the highest note you’ve ever hit.

And you had gotten through it perfectly every time you practiced it and you knew there was no way for you to be prepared, but there was still a nagging voice in the back of your head that you couldn’t shake.

“Hey.” Alex appeared at your side with a sympathetic smile on his face, instantly recognizing your pacing as a cry for help; considering it was a habit he picked up from you. “You need anything? Water? Aspirin?”

“A puppy?” Reggie chimed in.

“To punch Luke?” Bobby asked. 

“Dude!” Luke protested, shoving Bobby’s arm before stepping in front of you and resting his hands on your shoulders, his thumbs tracing slow circles on your collarbones in a way that was supposed to be soothing but only added to the mosh pit in your stomach. “(Y/n), you know this song inside and out. I’ve seen you kill it dozens of times with my own eyes.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but Luke cut you off with an insistent look and a shake of his head. “No. No more doubting yourself, okay?”

“You kids are up next.” A gruff voice announced from backstage, and you took a deep breath as you nodded, looking up at Luke with a weak smile.

“You’ll be there to take over if I hurl everywhere, right?” You joked.

“You’re not gonna hurl.” Luke laughed, dropping his hands from your shoulders and wrapping one around your wrist. “But, of course I will. Now, ‘c’mon!”

He started walking towards the stage, dragging you with him. When you passed Alex’s drum set, his eyes drifted down to Luke’s grip on your wrist and he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. You barely had time to flip him off before you arrived at Luke’s microphone. 

He smiled as he dropped his hand to tug his guitar strap over his head. “I’m serious. You got this.”

“Thanks, Luke.” You mouthed to him as you walked to the center of the stage, positioning yourself behind your mic.

“How are we doing tonight?” The announcer asked over the speakers and the crowd cheered. “Hey everybody! Welcome to our annual ‘Sunshine Showcase’ where we hit you with the hottest new music in L.A. Everybody give it up for our next band: ‘Sunset Curve’!”

The bright lights at the edge of the stage switched from a dim white to bright red and yellow, casting a faint orange glow across the stage, mixing with the color of the disappearing sun. Alex started a steady rhythm, catching the crowd’s attention. Luke and Bobby joined in, then Reggie.

Then it was time for you to sing. 

Your voice started out a little shaky as you sang the first few lines, but it slowly got steadier as you approached the chorus and by the second verse, you got completely lost in the music, bouncing and bobbing your head.

As the second chorus came around, you felt yourself getting nervous again. So you whipped around and met Alex’s eyes. He smiled reassuringly and twirled his drumsticks around his fingers. Then faster than you could blink, Reggie was at your side, giving you his signature goofy smile as he played along.

You threw your arm over his shoulder and bump him with your hip, sending him back to his spot and making a few people in the front row laugh. 

Then Alex’s drumming quieted as the bridge came up. You willed yourself not to throw up as you pull your microphone off its stand and crouched down to sing to the crowd. 

1...

You kept your voice as steady as you could, giving them your best confident smile as you slowly picked yourself back up.

2...

The music got louder as it neared the end of the bridge and you took a deep breath to prepare for the high note, but it disappeared from your lungs when you realized that Luke had started walking towards you.

3...

Just as he stopped in front of you, the buildup stopped and you could feel everyone’s eyes on you as you closed yours and poured all your energy into the music.

You hit the note perfectly, even surprising yourself a little when you held it longer than you ever had in practice. The crowd erupted in cheers after the note ended, but you kept your eyes closed as you soaked up the moment.

When you finally opened them again, Luke was right next to you, an amazed look on his face. Suddenly, you were grateful for the bright lights covering your face because you were definitely blushing.

The backup for the chorus started up again, but everyone else stopped singing, leaving it up to you and Luke. You held your microphone out so you could both be heard over the cheering. Usually, you all tried to interact with the crowd as much as possible, especially Luke. But his eyes never left yours, not even to look down as he played.

They were so bright and filled with so much intensity that it was hard not to get caught up in moments like this. It wasn’t unusual for you and Luke to sing together and pretend to flirt. The crowd always ate it up and it was pretty fun in the moment. But it always crushed you when the music stopped and you were reminded that it was all for show.

The last note rang out and you let out something between a shaky breath and a relieved laugh. While the boys grabbed their instruments, you walked through the backstage curtain and jumped onto the ground, the adrenaline still racing through you.

“That was awesome!” Reggie said enthusiastically as he tackled you in a hug.

“Yeah, you killed it, (Y/n)!” Alex raised his hand to give you a high five, but his eyes were focused on something behind you. You turned to see what he was looking at, but all you saw was a blur of shaggy brown hair and a grin before a pair of hands lifted you into the air.

“You did it, Squeaks!” Luke cheered as he spun you around, making your head spin. “I told you that you weren’t gonna hurl.”

“I still might if you don’t put me down!” You managed to say through a fit of laughter, holding on to his shoulders to secure yourself as he gently set you down.

You had expected him to pull away once you were back on the ground, but his hands stayed firmly on your waist and he tilted his head forward slightly so his forehead rested against yours.

The world around you slowed down, and you had to put effort into catching your breath again.

“Get a room, guys.” Bobby called as he put his guitar back in it’s case, making Alex and Reggie laugh. You chuckled awkwardly as you pulled away, glaring at Bobby. Luke just smirked and leaned over to stick his finger in Bobby’s ear. “Gross! Dude, stop doing that.”

“Well, I’m starving.” Alex said suddenly, sending you a quick look over his shoulder and you knew he was trying to give you some time to freak out in peace. “Anyone want some pizza?”

The boys all nodded in agreement and started walking towards the parking lot towards Bobby’s car with their instruments in hand, but your feet stayed frozen in place. Your heart was racing as you stared down at the sand between your feet, one question filling up every corner of your mind.

Was it possible that Luke liked you back?

-

2020

If there was one thing you’ve learned from being a ghost: it’s that everything is unpredictable.

You had just started to accept that this was your ‘life’. That you would never tour the world, and perform in front of a crowd ever again. But then you sang with Julie in that gym, and everything in your world changed.

Again.

Your mind was overloaded with questions. Why can people see us now? And why do we only show up while playing with Julie? Why is the afterlife so confusing?

And one more question, that was less serious but equally as important.

Does Luke like Julie?

It had been plaguing you since last night, when Luke had disappeared into the Molina house and didn’t come out for an hour. He had taken his songbook with him, which you didn’t think anything of at the time. But now you know that he gave her ‘Bright’, one of the first songs you and Luke had ever written together.

And then again today, when she sang, Luke looked just as excited as he was when the two of you wrote it. You scolded yourself for thinking about this now when there were bigger things happening. But you couldn’t help but feel like the universe was hanging a giant sign in your face telling you to give up on Luke.

Across the room, Alex started pacing and you shook those thoughts from your head. You knew that if you were freaking out, then Alex was probably on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“I think he’s practicing his model strut.” Reggie whispered.

“He’s so nervous that it's making me nervous.” Luke agreed.

“Al?” You asked softly. “Are you okay?”

Alex sighed. “Okay. You guys know I don’t handle change well. Death? That was a change. Okay, then we became ghosts. Another change. And now we can be seen whenever we play with Julie. Big freaking change!”

“Yeah, but it was a good change.” Luke said. “With Julie, we can play on stage again and be the band we never got to be.”

Luke’s words felt like a punch to the stomach. Sure, maybe you guys never got famous when you were alive, but you were still a band. You still poured all your time, energy and ability into every song you made together. You knew that Luke was just excited and not thinking about his words. But it felt like another sign hitting you in the face.

“I just-” Alex let out a defeated sigh. “I just want to know why.”

“Forget why.” Luke shot up from the couch. “I think we should ask Julie to join Sunset Curve.”

“Yeah!” Reggie agreed. “I mean, with a new lead singer, this band would be legendary.”

And there was another punch.

“Dude.” You said, trying not to show how much that comment stung. You loved Reggie like a brother but sometimes you wished he thought things through a little more before he spoke.

“Hey! We’re the lead singers.” Luke crossed his arms petulantly.

Reggie raised his hands in surrender. “I’m just saying. She can make us visible! Without her, we’d just be like elevator music.”

Luke pouted. “Well, you don’t gotta be so mean about it.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Alex starting to pace again.

“Al.” You said, walking up to him and stopping him in his tracks. 

“I’m sorry, okay?” Alex pushed his hair out of his face. his breathing was a little heavy. “I just…”

There was a moment of careful silence, like everyone was holding their breath, too scared of saying the wrong thing. You all knew how bad Alex’s anxiety could be, and while this wasn’t the most freaked out you had ever seen him, it was getting close.

“Hey,” You intertwined Alex’s arm in yours. “Let’s go for a walk, yeah? Clear our heads?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

You sent one last look over your shoulder to Reggie and Luke before you closed your eyes and concentrated on one of your favorite spots in the city. It was one of the first places you went to on your first night back.

Back in the 90's, it was one of your go-to spots when you just needed a place to breathe and sort through your thoughts.

The Walk of Fame.

The noise of the street filled your ears and opened your eyes, finding yourself in the middle of the sidewalk. Alex was right beside you, staring down at all the stars.

"Here? Really?"

You rolled your eyes. "Duh. It's where you and I had our first heart to heart, remember?"

Alex smiled as the memory played through your heads. It was a week after he came out to his parents and the tension in his house had slowly been building up until it was too much for him to handle. So you dragged him here.

"And I think it's time we had another one." You nudged him. "So, come on."

As the two of you walked through the streets of Hollywood arm in arm, it was like an invisible dam burst open and all the questions came pouring out.

After an hour, your head felt like it was going to explode if you kept thinking about all the crazy things that had happened since you got back. But there was still one question you needed to ask.

"Hey, Al?" You asked, making Alex hum in response. "Do you think that Luke likes Julie?"

"Yeah, I mean, I thought he was going to propose when he realized she can make us visible.” Alex said, his face dropping when he felt your arm tense in his. “No! Not like that. Shit, sorry. I-”

“It’s okay, Alex.” You said. You could see him cringing out of the corner of your eye and you knew he was probably beating himself up. “Maybe it’s a good thing, you know? Maybe it’ll be the push I need to finally move on.”

“But you can’t move on until you know how he feels.” Alex stopped abruptly, making you stop too.

“I think he’s been pretty clear."

“Has he?” Alex asked. “In case I missed it, you and Luke haven’t been talking much lately.”

You started to argue but then suddenly, a guy on a skateboard came barreling around the corner and ran right into Alex, making his arm fall out of yours as they both went crashing to the ground.

Alex slowly got back on his feet, groaning painfully. The other guy followed, sighing as he inspected his skateboard.

“Aw, man. You dinged my board.”

“I dinged your board? You almost ran me over! You’re lucky I didn’t-” The realization flashed in his eyes. “You ran me over.”

The skater looked just as confused as both of you when you asked, “You’re a ghost?”

“Yeah.” He took off his helmet, showing off his long hair. “Ever since I learned that skating in traffic was bad.”

Alex took in a sharp breath next to you and you smiled, knowing from the way his jaw dropped and he tripped over his words when the other guy tried to apologize that he was having a ‘gay panic’ moment.

“You guys are new to this whole ghost thing, huh?”

Alex was still a blushing mess but he seemed to find his voice. “Is it that obvious?”

“Totally.” The skater extended his hand out to Alex. “I’m Willie.”

“Alex.”

You introduced yourself quickly, then turned to Alex with a grin. Of course, you wanted to keep hanging with Alex, but it was time to be a good wing-woman. “Hey, I think I’m gonna go back to Cece’s for a while, but you should stay and get some information.”

Alex blushed again, clearly picking up on your intentions but he nodded.

“It was nice meeting you, Willie.” You said, waving goodbye but not before you raised your eyebrows at Alex to let him know that you were definitely going to be grilling him about his afternoon later.

 -

Just like every other time you walked into the diner, you were hit with a wave of painful nostalgia.

On a day like this, you would’ve walked right through the kitchen door and straight into Cece’s arms, rambling on while she made you her special hot chocolate and talked it all out with you until it made sense.

But now, you’re stuck trying to figure everything out alone.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite waitress.” Teddy called out from behind the counter, dog-earing his book and setting it aside to give you his full attention.

“Dude, we just met.” You raised an eyebrow at him. “Isn’t it a little too early for shameless flirting?”

Teddy scoffed playfully. “It’s never too early for shameless flirting.”

You weren’t super inexperienced when it came to flirting, but it felt like you were in this moment. Sure, you and Luke flirted on stage all the time, but it wasn’t real. At least not for him. But you had gotten so used to it that someone being open about their feelings with you short-circuited your brain a little.

“So.” You said, looking down at this book on the counter. “The Great Gatsby?”

Teddy laughed. “Yeah, it’s kinda on my bucket list.”

“But you’re already dead.”

“Touché, Gorgeous.”

You sat there, talking about your lives, and deaths. Reluctantly, you told him that you died from a hotdog, which led to him declaring it to be the funniest death in history. The more you talked to Teddy, the better you felt. And before you knew it, it had been hours.

By the time you finally decided to leave, there was still a gaping, Luke-shaped hole in your heart. But you decided that maybe it was time to listen to the signs the universe- that Luke- was giving you and try to move on with your life.

Even if it meant letting go of your best friend.

-

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