#this show really is just about the endless cycles of fighting the person who understands you most in the entire world

[notoneglance]

Stacy’s back!! I couldn’t get a good shot of his new outfit but !!!

Normal ways to act around someone who tried to kill you and you left lying in a ditch last time you met

[show-your-fangs]

I hate seeing sad Hotch but what about Hotch being sad and feeling he’s inadequate but reader does a BIG/GRAND gesture and hotch is floored and becomes like cute puppy hotch and is all like 🥺

this was such a phenomenal request, i just had to add a sprinkle of angst and hurt/comfort bc i am a whore. hope you like it!

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x f!Reader

Words: 1.3k

CW: sad, very very sad, angst, sad boy aaron

Tags/warnings: established relationship, lover boy Hotch, reader works at the BAU but isn't a profiler (just in case you haven't read Moments), self-deprecating thoughts, Aaron thinking he's not good enough for Reader, fear of abandonment, Aaron crying, Reader comforts Aaron, super cute ending.

a/n: I imagine this is Moments AU Aaron and Reader after their relationship comes to light and they’re just dating and working together like adults after almost a year of secrecy, so it’s “new” in the sense that they’ve been public for only a few months. 

Disclaimer: YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO REPOST MY WRITING ANYWHERE ELSE WITHOUT MY CONSENT. REBLOGS ARE ENCOURAGED THOUGH. YOU MAY NOT FEED MY WORK TO ANY AI DATABASES OF ANY KIND OR TO USE MY WORKS TO TRAIN AI. FUCK AI.

You hadn’t spoken to him all day, avoided him at all cost, not once stole a single glance at his office, at him. He didn’t think it was strange at first, you were both rushing to finish a mountain of paperwork that had just come in. 

He even ignored the fact that you hadn’t sought him out to have lunch together, claiming you were going out to run an errand. But then you left work early, so early in fact that the sun was still out. That’s when he began to panic. 

He knew he’d been a little distant recently. He’d had to miss your weekly date night twice, the second time having been the rescheduled date that he was convinced he’d be able to make. But no matter, he’d been called into a meeting just as the two of you were leaving the office. 

You’d been understandably upset. When he returned home to his apartment where you’d been waiting for him for the past few hours, you immediately got into a very heated argument, one that as much as he knew was coming, was still incredibly painful. 

But that had been a couple of weeks ago, you’d worked through it, talked it out, were done fighting about that. Or at least he thought so. 

He knew he was lucky to be with you, unbelievably lucky in fact, and he tried to often show you just how much he appreciated you sticking around after everything he’d been through, after everything you’d been through together. 

And yet he couldn’t help but feel like you would be so much better without him, that if he wasn’t holding you back you could be doing so much better. Your career had stalled because of your relationship with him, you were stuck in an endless cycle of having to comfort him, reassure him that everything was going to be alright when he should be the one doing this for you.

He’d caught you laughing, unrestricted, completely set ablaze by emotion a few days ago, and what had struck him hardest about such a normal display of happiness was that he couldn’t remember when he’d made you laugh like that last. 

You deserved the world, deserved someone who would show up for you, who would sacrifice everything for you, and as much as he wanted to be that person, he was also terrified of what he would have to do in order to become it. 

But he really wanted to, truly wanted to try, to make this work, to prove to you that he could do it, that he could be the man you needed him to be. 

He’d left the office the earliest he’d had in a while, making an effort to leave the paperwork he hadn’t been able to get through on his desk. He could get to it tomorrow morning. Tonight he would show up for you, to his apartment where he knew you’d be waiting after you’d unofficially moved in a week earlier.

He had plans to surprise you with dinner from your favorite restaurant, draw you a nice bath, and practically spend the rest of the evening on his knees, worshiping you like a goddess until you simply couldn’t take it anymore. 

He was practically buzzing all the way up to his apartment, excitement washing over him like a drug, euphoric and calming. He’d opened the door quietly, not wanting to alert you of his presence quite yet. 

But when he finally took in the room, fully dissected what he was seeing, the bag of take out, his keys, and his work bag fell from his hands, loudly banging against the wooden floor. 

You practically bolted out of the room, terrified, like a deer caught in headlights. You only calmed down when you noticed it was him, the hand that held a hair brush like a weapon lowering as a realization flashed over your features. 

He’d caught you in the act, caught you in the middle of…packing your bags and leaving him. 

No, this couldn’t be happening to him, not again, not like this, not you. 

“Honey,” he managed, his voice unbelievably small, on the verge of breaking apart. “What– we can talk about this, please, don’t– please don’t leave me.”

Your brows scrunched in confusion, slowly straightening, readying yourself for what you believed would be another fight. That’s when your eyes darted towards the spilled containers on the floor, his keys and bag to the other side of him, discarded. 

“I know I messed up, I know I shouldn’t have gone to that meeting, I should have told Strauss to wait until the morning,” his voice was cracking, pathetically, and he wanted nothing more than to have this conversation in the most composed way possible. 

But he had not prepared himself to find you like this, to find you in the same way he’d found Hayley all those years ago. Only then it had been his things, and tonight they were yours, and that somehow stung him even harder because last time it had been her kicking him out of her life, and tonight it was you removing yourself from his. 

You still didn’t move, your confusion slowly starting to turn to concern as he dropped to his knees in front of you, quite literally getting on his knees to beg you to stay. 

“I don’t want you to leave me, honey,” he pleaded. “Please stay, I promise I’ll do better, I’ll do whatever you want me to just please don't leave me.”

His hands wrapped around your legs then, face pressed against your stomach as he couldn’t stop the tears from pouring any longer. His entire body shaked, trembled, quacked against your own, his arms keeping you in place, stopping you from moving anywhere, even if you wanted to. 

“Baby,” you whispered and he only tightened his grip. So you stood there, let him get it all out as you gently ran your fingers over his scalp, shushing him gently as he sobbed. 

A few long minutes later, the sobs subsided into light tears and he let you unwrap his arms from you. You dropped down to your knees in an instant, cupping his face in your warm hands and pulling his gaze up to meet yours. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” you told him, wiping the wetness off his face with your thumbs. “I didn’t know this was bothering you so much, I thought we were done fighting about that.”

He let out a shaky breath, taking in the words you’d just said, allowing them to reassure his rapidly beating heart. 

“You’re not leaving?” 

“No, baby,” you smiled softly. “I wanted to surprise you,” you turned your body to the hallway leading towards his room, his own bags packed by the door. “I got Rossi to approve some time off for both of us – an entire week of sipping margaritas by the beach at one of Morgan’s friend’s resorts.”

His arms wrapped tightly around your waist then, pulling you further into him. “When did you– how did you? Why–”

“You’re right, that fight was awful, and I realized we both just needed some time alone together. To decompress and reconnect, just the two of us. What do you think?”

“I think that I don’t deserve you,” he confessed, the smallest hint of a joke desperately trying to hide the truth behind his words. 

“Oh, but you do, Aaron,” you kissed his nose. “You deserve this and so much more, I just need you to believe it. For me. Please?”

He nodded, his nose gently rubbing against yours before he leaned forward to press his lips against yours. They were a little salty from his tears and you took extra care to lap them all up, to clean his mouth of any reminder of what had just happened, a clean slate for the two of you. 

“I love you,” you spoke against his lips. 

“I love you too, honey,” he replied, placing another kiss over your lips before continuing. “So much it’s physically painful.”

You giggled then, light, airy, playful and carefree, and he couldn’t help but smile. Now this laugh he’d remember forever. 

this was...wow. holy shit. i hated putting baby through that but i think he needed to hear that.

my requests are open for pretty boy hotch, be that moments, dbf!we shouldn't (and yet we do), rough hotch, sugar daddy!hotch, or whatever your heart desires.

tags: @canuck-eh, @ssamorganhotchner

[frizzle-mcshizzle]

CAN I HAVE SOME KESLERxJULINE HCS??

YES YES YES 1000X YES (sorry this took so long) i really want to start calling them frosted beakers because it sounds cooler. anyways.

Juline struggled to control her ability after she first manifested because not only did she manifest at 14 much later than the rest of her peers, her ability is more connected to her emotions than it is for most fosters, making people around her see her as unstable and unpredictable, which upset her/made her angry, which make her ability harder to control and it was an endless cycle.

Kesler was a dorky curly haired 15yo with glasses and wasn't afraid of her and saw her as another noble kid he had to tutor to make sure his mentors still liked him and he wouldn't get sent to Exilium for some random made up reason

Juline didn't want to be in alchemy class, her parents pulled her out of her art class to go to the advanced alchemy class when she hadn't gone to alchemy class in years. so she was missing her favorite class and was now in a class she didn't understand forced to go tutoring with some dorky boy (who was a little cute (not cute enough to make her enjoy the class though)

eventually Kesler called out her behavior towards him not expecting anything to come out of it. but instead she apologized and said it wasn't fair of her to treat him like that. Kesler was shocked that she actually treated him like a person and Juline was offended that he would expect her to treat him otherwise. over the next several weeks they ended up having a lot of fun in the tutoring sessions together.

Juline played bramble in foxfire and it's something she genuinely enjoyed and was good at Kesler on the other hand couldn't play to save his life. Kesler lover to watch her play. because it was the only time he ever saw her smile so wide that her dimples would show.

they ended becoming close friends and then dating when they where around 17. they spent a lot of time around Kesler's family home as there was a forest right outside of the neighborhood he lived in. they spent a lot of time by the river because Juline could practice her ability and it was private and away from prying eyes, so they had the freedom to do what they pleased without comments about bad matches

the first spring they where dating Juline got really excited when snowdrops peaked through the snow and after that Kesler started to call her snowdrop. the nickname stuck for the rest of their lives, and they started buy each other jewelry with each others flowers on them

Juline was forced to go the elite levels by her parents, because they hoped that she and Kesler would break up with the distance and they wouldn't have to deal with a bad match for a daughter

they successfully avoided having a bad match daughter as well, Kesler was constantly being told he would ruin her life and Juline was struggling to keep up with writing letters and homework and classes didn't help. on top of that her parents wanted her to go to all these windowing gala's and she just complied because it was easier than fighting them on it. she also thought maybe just maybe her parents would realize she didn't love anyone else and would except the fact that wanted to marry Kesler.

they broke up around the time Juline graduated because Kesler wanted to protect her from the scorn, and he told her to find someone who would give her what she deserved because he couldn't.

they stayed apart for a few years neither dating anyone else because Kesler regretted what he did with everything in his soul but didn't think she would forgive him, and some part of him believed it was the right decision because he wanted her to live without scorn. Juline had given up on going to windowing gala's and decided to focus on her work because she didn't want to do anything else.

Kesler's older brother Eben went to the matchmaking office to get his third match list and Juline was on it. he decided to invite her, not because he was remotely interested in her but because on the off chance she came he wanted to give his little brother a second chance with the woman he still loved.

Juline went to Eben's windowing gala hoping that for some dumb reason Kesler would be there, the gala was hosted in a forest not far from the dizznee family home. not a lot of people came because they didn't want to go a 5th born's gala,

while there wasn't a lot of people present compared to the other gala's Juline had been to there was still enough people present for Juline to find it overwhelming. She asked Kesler's mom who was helping her son host if Kesler was there and she pointed down the path Juline knew all too well. it headed right to the river where she and Kesler had spent so much time together.

Juline took a deep breath and headed down the path telling herself that she would give Kesler a peice of her mind, because how dare he decide for her whats good for her, if she wanted to live with scorn she would she wasn't some coward who couldn't handle it.

Kesler was sitting on the fallen tree by the river and wouldn't even look her in the eyes. Juline lost all words she had in her head the second she saw him. all she could say was "i missed you Kesler"

they talk and talk and talk until the sun goes down. tears are shead apologies are made again and again and again, they stay by the river until dark, then even longer. Kesler asks Juline if they could start over, start from the beginning, and Juline agrees in a heartbeat, they part with promises to call in the morning,

Juline returns home with a hope in her heart for the future, not caring how it would effect her cushy noble job. she got Kesler back, she finally got him back.

Kesler didn’t stop thanking Eben for what he did, and Eben told him he owed Kesler after how he treated him in the past, Kesler was just happy to have his best friend back, he had always forgiven a little to easily.

Juline and Kesler dated in “secret” for years (it was blantly obvious that they where heads over heels for each other to anyone that had functional eyes), while Kesler built slurps and burps up from the ground. they didn’t get married until they where in their 80s because they liked the peace of living without the full fledged scorn

when they finally decided to get married, they had their wedding at Havenfeild, Juline announced to all of her noble friends about the wedding knowing they would be horrified that she was marrying a talentless. Edaline helped with the decor, and planing the whole wedding, it was actually quite small and peaceful wedding. she was fired from her noble job the second their marriage went through the government,

[illuminatedquill]

Ahsoka Variety Interview Thoughts

Hello, Sabezra nation!

So, it will probably start spilling out soon but, yes, some of the cast members from Ahsoka - Rosario Dawson, Natasha Liu Bordizzo, Hayden Christensen and some guy named Dave Filoni - did an interview with Variety recently to talk about the show.

Now, I know what you're thinking: was there anything regarding Sabine and Ezra's relationship?

And the answer is a resounding NOPE.

But, it's still a very interesting article and there were a few tidbits that stood out to me that I feel is Sabezra related. So, I'll talk about that here.

First up: an interesting quote from Sabine Wren herself, Natasha.

I've written about this before in a previous post but it's very nice to have it be validated here by Natasha: that Sabine is, indeed, meant to come off as Anakin-coded in this first season of Ahsoka.

Others in this fandom have also noted this and this certainly lends credence to Sabine's feelings for Ezra being more than platonic. Sabine's decision to doom their galaxy in exchange for her friend's safety has enormous ramifications for the Star Wars universe going forward - and only one other character has had such an impact on the franchise: Anakin Skywalker.

Anakin made his choice out of desperation to save his wife, Padme. Star Wars loves its mythological cycles. Lucas passed on that love to Filoni so, in theory, Sabine should be following in the foot-steps of the disaster lineage of Jedi she is now a part of.

But, as I've noted before, one of Ahsoka's themes is trying to break cycles. Baylon wants to break the cycle of endless wars, Ahsoka wants to break the cycle of darkness plaguing her Jedi lineage, and Sabine wants to break the cycle of loss that's all too prevalent in her life.

What does that mean? It means that Filoni has the opportunity to do something that Anakin couldn't with Sabine: show a proper redemptive arc. Find a way to move forward with Ezra and everyone else she betrayed. Find a way to be forgiven and properly atone for her mistakes - preferably without dying or someone else dying on her behalf.

Of course, this is just interpretation on my behalf. The skeptic in me points out that Natasha is only referring to Sabine's recklessness and inner struggles as being what Ahsoka sees as similar to her former master. There's no mention of Ezra.

But we know that one of Anakin's "inner struggles" was his increasing attachment and feelings for Padme. So, is a stretch to say that these inner struggles that Sabine is wrestling with include her yet undisclosed feelings for her friend Ezra? No, not really.

With what Filoni set up from this first season, it's an inevitability that - at some point - Sabine is going to be questioned about why she made that decision. I personally see it as integral to her journey as a Jedi. Which means that Sabine needs to search her feelings and come to understand them.

It's significant that Natasha points out the echoes of Anakin in Sabine's personality and actions. It says quite a lot.

And to back up the whole "reverse Anidala" theory I have, here's what Filoni says in this next quote:

So this quote is Filoni referencing Ahsoka's struggles with Anakin's legacy as Vader during Rebels and then later in Ahsoka.

"How does that affect somebody when a person that they really admire and looked up to turned out not to be the person they thought they were? Are we all just capable of a fall from grace? And what is forgiveness? What shape does that look like?"

But, keeping this in mind, you could also apply this to Sabine's situation with Ezra, along with everyone else she cares about that was put directly in harm's way with her decision (Hera, Jacen, Zeb, Chopper).

Ahsoka, having come to terms with her own long struggle of forgiving and accepting Anakin for who he was, now has something else to offer Sabine other than showing her how to fight: how to forgive.

Sabine is, presumably (hopefully if Filoni isn't just going to sweep her actions under the rug), going to be struggling with the ramifications of her betrayal at some point in the future. And, not to mention, everyone else also finding out and will most likely be upset, to say the least.

Ahsoka, armed with her own knowledge of how to navigate that thorny path, can be a mediator in that regard. She'll stand with Sabine, as she promised - not condoning her actions, but providing understanding and her own special viewpoint on how to forgive and move on from such an incredibly selfish and destructive action (thanks to Anakin) - and help everyone else find a way to do so, as well.

I figure Ezra and Hera will probably be the focal point of conflict for Sabine. Hera, for obvious reasons, will be upset since Sabine helped kick-start another potential war with the Empire - something she does not want her child to experience growing up in like she and countless others did.

And there's also the matter of how it directly undermines what Kanan and Ezra sacrificed so much for.

As for Ezra . . . I don't know. It's complicated. No idea how Filoni is planning to tackle that. But it's going to hurt him.

It's going to hurt him so much.

But with Ahsoka's presence, it stands to reason that Sabine and Ezra can find a way to reconcile and build something new and stronger from the ruins of their prior relationship.

Other interesting items/observations from the interview:

Filoni already has an outline for Ahsoka season 2. (Nothing confirmed about a renewal, but he's got one ready.)

Hayden Christensen makes an interesting observation about Anakin's return being that he now has the power to wield both the Light Side and Dark Side of the Force, which also gives him the power to save Ahsoka . . . the same power he was trying to obtain when he pledged himself to the Dark Side during Revenge of the Sith.

There are no current plans on Baylon's recasting as of yet. Filoni is still figuring that out. (RIP, Ray Stevenson).

Natasha sees Ahsoka season 1 as setting up "enduring drama" between Ahsoka and Sabine. They still obviously have a lot to work out to mend their relationship - like what happened to Sabine's family and how that was somehow Ahsoka's fault, also Ahsoka stopping her training shortly afterwards.

There is only one direct mention of Thrawn and Ezra: Filoni's decision to send them to another galaxy was because keeping them in the home one was too easy ("too many people travelling, flying around; you can send a signal and get found"). He knew about other galaxies from a scene in Attack of the Clones.

A word of caution: we'll probably be getting more interviews like this within the coming weeks so there will be, presumably, lots of new info coming in.

Hopefully we'll be getting interviews from Eman and Ivanna, as well, since I'm interested to hear more about their characters (Ezra, for obvious reasons, but Shin we definitely need to know more about) and what they might be up to in a future season.

But . . . some of these interviews might contain, shall we say, indications of where certain relationships might go or where whomever is being interviewed think they might go.

So saying this now: unless it comes from the hat man himself, don't get too caught up in whatever is said. It's all fun and speculation.

Sorry for the long ramble. Hope this all makes sense.

See you all down the road.

[animehouse-moe]

Shangri-La Frontier Episode 1: What Do You Play Games For?

What happens when a gamer who only plays shitty games decides to pick up a so called god-tier game? Shangri-La Frontier is the answer to that and provides an insane opening episode for the concept. I'm just so excited to get 2 whole cours of this, and I really want to explain why.

Also, SiM's vocalist (MAH) on the OP with FZMZ? And Chico on the ending song? This series was made for me man.

First of all, C2C is an incredibly underrated studio considering the quality of the projects that they enjoy. This is one such project. Right from the start the quality is insane. 2D camera movement, detailed animation and character acting, the whole nine yards. Just look at this walking cycle! There's no 3D and their shoulders move!

It's just crazy to see the detail they put into these pieces early on. Walking cycles are super neglected due to how "plain" they are, but there's just something incredible about seeing that effort put into it with stuff like these examples.

And then there's this (sort of misleading) litmus test. Does your anime have really good art for a random cut? Odds are the production's doing really well. And, well, there's this really good looking beetle shown early on in the episode.

Anyways, to Shangri-La Frontier the game. The direction understands the assignment right away. This is a video game, we need to know it's a video game. So they show us it's a video game. First person perspective is our very first cut shown in the welcome screen and once we enter the world, setting the tone perfectly for what's to come.

But of course, a video game has more to it then just first person perspective, and of course C2C grasp that as well. Slow motion (which you'll see later), and more importantly camera movement are important in establishing that feel. The slow draw towards an endless expanse of world, the bird's eye view of a landmark or feature as the camera slowly rotates. It gets it, and it's able to create a living, breathing trailer for Shangri-La during the episode because of that.

And then, there's the fact that it's a video game. There's talks of skills and abilities and levels and whatnot, but I think most understand that that's a "staple" and that C2C/Shangri-La handle it quite well.

Let's talk about the good stuff, let's talk about action. C2C nails it. They put incredible effort into video game-styled choreography, and it pays off in spades. The slow motion, the harsh camera angles to accentuate the fight, the camera rotation, the way that attacks linger in the air. It's incredible stuff that's augmented by insane animation and visual effects. Seriously, pay attention to the fight and you'll see that they did an impact frame for a crit. Not in the traditional sense, but that the impact frame was the crit. This sort of stuff just makes me so excited because of how well it's handled.

And then there's the worldbuilding. The OP comes into play as well of course, but the details are super great. The enemies Sunraku faces in the starting forest are (mostly) beginner enemies. A goblin with a stone axe and some sort of large pig seem to be the "typical", but there's more to it than that. The Vorpal bunny is a "rare" enemy which makes sense, but the pig enemy only appears as Sunraku ventures closer to the second town rather than the first.

There's considerable detail and effort placed in the creation and appearances of these creatures in the world. The Vorpal Bunny featuring a better crafted weapon than the others that most likely came from somewhere else. Don't forget - we saw a rabbit in the opening.

It's just insanely cool stuff. The world is already shown to be more broad and deep than "it's a big video game world!". There's all sorts of little pieces like this peppered about, and it's just so damn good. Even the concept of Sunraku's "Wanderer" dropping him in a forest rather than the starter town. The detail to really sell this game as god-tier is so damn good.

But it's important to not forget, the god-tier part of the game is only one part of the puzzle. Sunraku here is famous for playing garbage games.

And it's a great way to offset the story and provide a fun angle, I'm serious. It allows them to add fun commentary and responses in regards to frustration from playing bad games, and at the same time provide a novel and excitable approach to a genuinely good game. The best of both worlds that sets the perfect stage for how they want to explore this story.

So, understandably so, I'm very excited about two cours of this and everybody else should be too. C2C is showing us they've got the potential to make the absolute most of Shangri-La Frontier and it's fun and surprisingly unique concept. Can't wait to see what they bring with the next episode!

[moonmeg]

Do you hate people who think Philip can be redeemed? Like, you would physically fight them? Cause I really like Philip, like, I would always try and see the good in people if they had a reason for it.

What brought this up is this:

Me and a buddy (ex buddy) were talking about your au, and he was saying about how Philip should go and do some... Not very nice things to himself. And was going on and on about really disturbing things you should make him do.

So, I told him my thoughts about it, and he said I was bafld person and called some things I won't say, because it had me crying for a while.

And also, I just want to give cannon Philip a cuddle. (Cuddle with his beard too.... It looks soft...)

I don't hate anyone who merely has a different opinion regarding a fictional character than me. It's rare I hate people in general. It sounds like your friend is not a true friend and a very rude and mean person so I'm happy to read they're an ex friend by now. Someone who calls you names and makes you cry because you have a different opinion on a fictional character is not a friend.

Theoretically seen every villian CAN be redeemed but I believe not every villain NEEDS to be redeemed. Philip, at least by the point in time the show takes place at, is one of them.

He is far away from sanity at that point in his life. The biggest indicator for that being him stuck in an endless cycle of creating clones of his deceased brother only to torture and kill them again at the smallest inconvenience. Over and over again for centuries. He has brainwashed an entire community and convinced them into helping with their own genocide and he felt no remorse for it. No hesitation. Nothing.

As much as I feel sorry for him because of his sad backstory, as much as I understand his rage and hurting after what Caleb has done - just leaving him behind without ever communicating it, when Caleb was all Philip ever cared for back then, when Caleb was Philip's everything - and as much as I understand he himself is a victim of manipulation too, I do not believe he should've been redeemed in the final episodes of TOH.

I do believe that at an earlier point in his life he could've started a redemption arc. Back when Caleb was still alive. In an alternate universe where instead of Caleb being wounded in the fight, it's Philip. Not mortally though, so in the time that he's bedridden due to the healing process of the wound, he has the chance to seriously think about everything again. An alternate universe where the brothers work all of this out together. Something along the lines of @phobylee and @mentalmeles Clarity AU.

Casually spoiling my Caleb-lives AU here

These are basically my thoughts on it!

I hope you're doing better after what your ex friend said to you..

Sending hugs! <3

[a-menaceinpink]

spn finale and final thoughts!

finished watching al 15 fucking seasons of supernatural for the first time and i just -

with the exception of cherry picked scenes here and there that i like regarding claire or cas or dean/cas or jack (my special little guy!) it is objectively quite terrible in the later seasons. everyone that says it becomes the dean show is totally right. this did not have to be a problem. nevertheless, it is.

sam, who is unarguably the protaganist and main, luke-skywalker-esque figure of the first 5 seasons is COMPLETED sidelined (i can name like maybe three sam-centric plots/subplots in the entire last 5 seasons and one of them is the whole lucifer visions thing which is just ... bad) and idk who the writers thought they were writing but that was Not Dean Winchester. I am a dean apologist, a deangirl, he was my special little guy even as he went crazy with the mark (yes i think he was right to kill the human traffickers <3 you're doing great sweetie) and i can very easily say that most of the time i did not like him! his decisions didn't make sense! he didn't seem like himself! also why, WHY, would you write him as turning into john with regards to jack??? like?? what the fuck is up there?

not to mention the fact that the writing takes a long walk off a very short cliff. suddenly the horror elements vanish and characters lose all sense of depth and the misogyny gets even weirder and more in your face than before (which is impressive considering the first season started in 2005) and the pacing comes off the rails and they keep coming back to lucifer (which is my personal beef with them) and they reuse plot elements and it is just!! so clear!! that they wanted to milk this show for all it was worth and it got bad because of it!!

i think what irritates me so much about the fact that it got so bad is that like, on paper, there are a lot of interesting elements to their final seasons. the last season with the antagonist LITERALLY being a narrative?? being god the writer?? being the network, for all intents and purposes?? like tell me that wouldn't have been interesting to explore characters begging, pleading, with the audience to be let out of this endless cycle that's wearing them thin. where's the monologue that's remiscent of bilbo's "i feel like butter scraped over too much bread" line! and for that matter, if they were gonna have them be depressed about the fact that it's literally god who's been using them as puppets, why not go harder!! why not have them both literally burn out in ways that make sense for the character! dean going recklessly into every fight knowing he won't be killed off, sam doing darker and darker things just to see what the narrative would allow him to get away with!! or alternatively, some recognition that they exist in patterns, so seeing if breaking that pattern would do something different! would actively choosing to do something that normally would be odd make a difference! who knows! i think characters that are aware that they're characters (not in the deadpool way) would be so interesting to see on screen!!!

also they really use jack as a character prop, but that's a complaint for another post. he's just my little guy <3 i love him so much <3 he does not understand social cues and he is just doing his best <3

[sophiesicelebblog]

Week 4: Discussing A Bigger Picture by Vanessa Nakate

All I can say is: Wow! Vanessa Nakate is an incredibly talented writer who presents compelling evidence that our plant is in danger, immediate danger; this is the crisis of our present, not some far off distant future. Vanessa - I'll call her Vanessa moving forward, as she calls others by their first names throughout her book, evoking a compassionate familiarity - wants to educate readers that the climate emergency is a daily reality for billions living in the Global South who suffer the brunt of the effects of pollution, despite contributing the least to the problem. She weaves a story beginning with how she first became involved as a climate activist, followed by evidence and statistics which simultaneously scares the reader and effectively holds up a mirror, showing that we are all contributing to climate change, and concludes with a call to action and a message of hope. Vanessa's message is truly inspiring! Now, let's dive a little deeper...

Who is Vanessa Nakate? Why is the photograph important? Vanessa Nakate is a climate activist from Uganda. After finishing her business degree but prior to her graduation ceremony, she began to question just why African countries were dealing with a seemingly endless cycle of environmental issues ranging from flooding to droughts, causing major problems with crops which led to malnutrition, starvation and poverty, mudslides and flooding in which thousands lost their homes, businesses and families, and loss of natural plant and animal life. Her research led her to learn about climate change, or as Vanessa more accurately calls it, the climate emergency. Her anger and fear turned to determination as she first discovered the #FridaysForFuture strikes led by Greta Thunberg, followed by the works of dozens of other activists (many of whom she names in her book). She decided to begin protesting in her hometown, at first just with a small handful of family members. As her platform grew, so too did opportunities to share her voice to advocate for those in the Global South who, as the ones who live with the realities of the climate emergency largely created by the Global North, desperately need to be heard.

Which, of course, brings us to the photograph.

At a press conference following a climate strike with Arctic Basecamp, Vanessa was one of five activists who spoke on a panel and were photographed afterwards by the press; Vanessa was the only Black speaker alongside four white women. When the news broke in the Associated Press, not only was Vanessa cropped from the photograph of the event, but her very presence was omitted from the article. Devastated, Vanessa took to social media to call out the Associated Press, poignantly writing,

"You didn't just erase a photo

You erased a continent

But I am stronger than ever"

This incident speaks to Vanessa's whole point: in discussions of climate change and climate activism, Africa and the Global South are consistently neglected by the Global North, who hold the vast majority of money, resources, and responsibility. The hardships caused by climate change are daily for those in Africa, and yet their voices are entirely swept under the rug. Vanessa knew that the erasure of one person from a photograph was not the whole story, but rather it signifies a much larger problem on a global scale.

"It was time for me to leave that place of fear and face the world."

Though it is difficult to pick just one favorite quote from Vanessa's book, I would have to say I think this is mine. It is written early on in the story (page 17), and that's part of what I appreciate about it. Vanessa emphasizes that she was nervous, really nervous to begin her journey as an activist. She's a shy person who describes that the cultural norms of her home, Uganda, do not typically understand a woman speaking out publicly. Additionally, she had justifiable fears of being arrested. Despite this, Vanessa knew that the fight for our planet was far more important. I think it's so relatable, perhaps especially for someone with anxiety like myself, because no matter how big or small, we've all had something we must do that has scared us, and she is reminding us that it's ok to be scared and that fear does not have to hold us back. Fear can (and often does!) coexist with bravery, and the scariest part is just taking that first step.

I love this photo from Vanessa's Instagram account (posted February 21, 2022) because it just communicates everything she wants to say so succinctly! The use of the words "No Time Left" emphasizes the immediacy of the problem, that the climate emergency is already occurring right now as we speak. Vanessa of course details how important immediate action is throughout her book, but she also importantly calls out global leaders who make performative statements while never taking action; it's a whole lot of "Blah Blah Blah," and I love how she isn't afraid to say so. She's also utilizing social media by use of hashtags; she began her climate strikes in small numbers, at times by herself, in Uganda, but she knew that she could reach a much wider audience through the power of social media. Themes of urgency, demanding action from leadership, and the strength of our collective voices are all present in A Bigger Picture, and I think this photo captures that spirit.

"Nakate is conscious of the power her voice wields, and the world would benefit from listening." -Kirkus Reviews

In response to the above statement, first and foremost I would say I agree - we would all benefit from listening. I think that Vanessa learned the power of her voice gradually, thus she doesn't take it for granted. She writes in her book that she didn't have many followers on social media when she began her activist mission, and only a few people actually acknowledged her while she protested other than an occasional confused glance. As she began to grow in followers (thanks in part to Greta Thunberg reposting her photo), she claimed her space on the global stage of climate activism, never wavering. She uses that power to share the spotlight with other activists and encourages those who are new to activism to believe in the power of their voices too.

Rise Up Movement Africa (https://www.riseupmovementafrica.org/) is an organization that Vanessa co-founded to help share the voices of climate activists from all across Africa. As Vanessa says, "When it comes to the African continent, it is, of course, on the frontlines of the climate crisis. But it's not on the front pages of the world's newspapers" (https://www.un.org/en/climatechange/vanessa-nakate-climate-change-is-about-people). I think that's a huge part of what makes her work so important: she created a platform to fill the void left by mainstream media to share diverse stories about how climate change affects people we don't usually hear from. Through Rise Up Africa's 1Million Activist Stories, Vanessa and her team essentially hand the microphone to the people directly, empowering them to share their experiences with the world.

I think the thesis of the video above is essentially that we need to look outside ourselves, away from numbers, projections, and profits, and look at our fellow people. Climate change largely affects populations that are already disadvantaged: the poor, farmers, and especially women and girls, who are often responsible for providing food and clean water for their families. These are all people who receive little attention despite needing it the most, and the Global North has fallen short on its promises for aid. This video is telling us to open our eyes and look around, because we are all people deserving of happy, healthy lives, and must work together to fix this crisis.

[leneemusing]

just more misc memes

“  it’s not something i usually talk about,  because it’s not something most people can understand.  ” 

“  i don’t need to be understood.  i just want to be accepted.  ”

“  the harder you fight against the paths life puts you on,  the steeper the climb becomes,  the worse the falls.  ”

“  i’ve always been honest about what sort of person i am.  there’s few indignities worse than lying to oneself.  ”

“  the sooner you accept what you are,  the sooner you can embrace the strengths that come with it.  ”

“  i find there are two sorts of people.  those who talk too much and think too little.  and those with too many thoughts and not enough words.  ”  

“  it’s not so much that letting someone know who i really am scares me.  it just seems tedious to spend all that time pulling back the layers and asking to be understood,  when there’s that chance they’ll leave anyway.  ”

“  i don’t like how you looked at me then.  i don’t ever want to see that in your eyes again when i’m reflected in them.  ”

“  there’s a lot of people in this world just existing.  going from one thing to the next in an endless cycle until they die.  ”  

“  it’s not shallow confidence when i tell you i’m not the sort of person you want to go making an enemy out of.  trust my experience.  careful how you tread. ”  

“  i can’t walk this path with you.  but i can be there when you reach the end of it.  ”

“  you want to tell me something—  i can see it.  so you might as well speak.  ”  

“  the unfortunate truth is,  i think i’d forgive any flaw in a person if they loved me enough.  ” 

“  is there really nothing i could do that would scare you away from me?  ”

“  why did you think i wouldn’t notice you?  ”

“  why didn’t you come to me for help?  why wouldn’t i have helped?  ” 

“  do you think my love for you is so little that you hurting me would make a difference in showing up when you need me?  ”

“  what was that— you got this look in your eyes just now and then pushed it back down.  tell me what you were thinking.  ”

“  i don’t need anything from you.  i’m here because i want to be.  ”

“  i won’t reject your help.  but you must know none of this will be easy.  ”

“  i’m already involved.  so tell me the truth.  and let us figure it out together.  ”

“  don’t you try and treat me like i’m just anyone else in a crowded room.  i know you.  ”  

“  you swallow your words and bury your thoughts so often.  i would love to see the day it all comes barreling out.  ”

“  i think there’s more inside you than everyone else would believe.  and i think that’s how you want it.  you like to be underestimated.  ”

“  i find comfort in being misunderstood.  ”

“  one day,  you’re going to snap.  and i would pay millions to be there to see it.  ”

“  what i wouldn’t give to know all the secrets hiding behind those eyes.  ”

“  love is a knife.  we either cut ourselves in the process of falling,  or slice the arteries of the one we adore.  ” 

“  nothing is worth your self destruction.  ”

[dear-mrs-otome]

Hello! I just wanted to know your opinion on Silvio's route. Did u like it? Was there anything that made you kinda disappointed or irritated? But more importantly did you like the explanation they gave to Silvio's fear of women's touch? Personally, (mind that i didn't do the route, i read your summaries) i think it wasn't that well managed. I don't know, i just feel like it was a bit lacking, i mean (correct me if I'm wrong): Silvio finds out about her mother's plans, he fights with her, Adria then to "save" herself plays the manipulation card, she hugs him (which i get that from Silvio's perspective that hug felt more like a threat than a genuine act of affection), and then she implies that he may be a bastard son.... Now especially the last part is kinda terrible, but i don't see any connection between his mother's hug and his fear... Am i reading this wrong? Does he relate this bad memory to women's touch (which can happen)? Or wut?

Still, even if that were the case, it feels lacking to me, i wanted something more honestly. When I read this summary and i got to the point where Silvio fights with Adria, i swear all i was thinking about was: oh god now she'll sexually abuse him to make him stay quiet or something - but that didn't happen, and I'm a bit disappointed. Not because i want poor Silvio to suffer ( he's my fav no), but because that would have been more interesting and would make even more sense , to me at least. Also we would have talked about sexual harassment in men and that is a very important theme that no one ever talks about (i mean men get raped too BY WOMEN) but anyway i understand why they didn't choose that route.

So, overall i wanted more DRAMA, that's all. And i want to know your opinion on this, because maybe i didn't understand the real meaning of that scene. Thanks in advance and sorry of my English, it's not my native language

First off, Nonny, no need to apologize for your English, it's perfectly fine! And I appreciate you asking my opinion on this.

Before I get into it too much, let me take a moment to clear up what I think might be some misunderstandings about Silvio, and that's partly on me because I've been slow on translating his route and really scattered with the asks I've answered.

The main things to address here is that I don't believe it's ever implied that his mother has anything to do with his touch aversion, or at least not directly. There may be an element of him growing up with little to no affection, physical or otherwise, and that's certainly somewhat on his mother - but it's also very much on his father whom it seems clear only ever touched Silvio when he was offering violence. Silvio himself never ever draws a direct line between his mother and his revulsion when it comes to being touched by women.

Where he DOES draw a line is between the sorts of women who showed an interest in him, after being 'invisible' compared to his brothers for most of his childhood, and his disgust at how they clearly only want him for his money. On the one hand, the one he loudly and proudly proclaims, he's thrilled to be getting attention and will take it whatever the means…but on the other, subconsciously at least, he resents the fact that the only value they see in him is his wealth. And given that these are the only women he's ever really known in his life, the equation in his head becomes thus: women = disgust. He's trapped in an endless agonizing cycle of wanting love and affection and attachment, and being repelled by the only places he knows to seek it.

Personally, putting my armchair psychologist hat on here, I also think that Silvio's revulsion regarding women is a way of outwardly manifesting the self-loathing he feels internally. It's easier to pin that on someone else, and to place the blame squarely on an external third party, than to examine his own attitudes towards himself.

As for my own personal opinion on all this, and how I felt about the route: I enjoyed it, and I was neither disappointed nor irritated. While I recognize and support the assertion that male victims of sexual assault are tragically ignored or mocked, I feel in general as if the sooner sexual assault is abandoned as any form of a plot device or trope the better. I found it refreshing that his issue didn't stem from something as cliched and nauseating as that, and I enjoyed the different layers of his complex and how they all worked together to build up this wall, brick by brick, that did him a life-long disservice.

[etherrreal]

“the things you do for charity”

Pairing: kenma x gn!reader Genre: fluff Summary: kenma's always been a private person, but it was getting increasingly harder to keep his partner off his streams while you live together; so, he decided to join his two loves together for a 24-hour charity stream extravaganza. Word Count: 3,408 Warnings: some swearing, i suppose there are some spoilers from the manga about adult kenma's job? A/N: i'd give my left tit to play some minecraft or mario kart with kenma tbh -Luna

Kenma's career as a popular streamer was one of the many facets of him that shocked you when you’d started dating two years ago. The two of you had first met in an Animal Crossing discord for your city meant for trading and making friends.

After you had gone over to his island to adopt Raymond from him, he let you keep all of your Nook Mile Tickets with the stipulation that you kept in contact with him to "give him updates" about how the cat villager was doing in his new home. His dorky way of trying to flirt with you was what made you pursue him in the first place, and somehow it had led to a very fulfilling relationship.

It was revealed early on that he was a streamer, but he never expanded on it regarding the actual numbers. Curiosity got the best of you one night, and you decided to google him. Besides also learning that he was a YouTuber, you found yourself in awe at the numbers he managed to accumulate across all of his social media.

And if that wasn’t enough, he was also apparently the CEO of his own business.

Once you moved in together around the one-year mark of your relationship, you got to properly witness the amount of work put into streaming and maintaining a social media presence. This also meant that you got to read the wild comments that were left on all of his platforms–and see the occasional surprise nude picture whenever he opened up his DMs around you.

Because of this, Kenma sat you down to have a conversation about your potential appearance on his social media. You both decided by the end of it that his audience would get to know that he was in a committed relationship, but you agreed it would be best to not show your face or reveal any identifying information of yours.

It had been a year since having that conversation, and you’d both stuck to the agreement closely. The most his audience had ever seen of you was your hand whenever you refilled his water bottle for him.

Of course, it was hard sometimes, especially when you had to remain extra quiet around the house and refrain from yelling out a 'baaaabe' whenever you needed something from him, but since he had his own soundproof office, it lessened the room for any accidental error.

Overall, you were content with never showing your face to his audience for the rest of his career. You knew how nasty the internet could get because of their parasocial relationships with influencers and streamers alike, especially when they discovered those influencers and streamers had a partner who wasn't them, even if they knew they never had a chance. You weren't sure your skin was thick enough to deal with rabid angry stans.

Which is why it was so shocking when Kenma decided one day to nix the agreement.

You were in your shared bedroom answering some emails when he came in. He was dressed in a baggy hoodie, sweats, and tied-up hair; his typical look for a stream.

After some time, you noticed that he was still standing in the doorway, not saying anything. When you glanced up at him, you found him awkwardly toying with the strands of hair that had fallen out of his bun, looking down at the ground like he was just waiting for you to notice him.

"Is there something you need, baby?" you asked. "You're just standing there all adorably shy."

"Yeah, so, um, I'm going to be doing a 24-hour stream this weekend to raise money for charity."

"Oh, really? Cool! I guess that means I'll be going to bed alone that night," you joked.

"Yeah, I guess. Um..." He started before scrunching up his face like he was uncomfortable with what he planned to say next.

"What is it? Do you need me to stock up on snacks and energy drinks? Just send me a list. I can pick  them up tomorrow."

"No, that's not it. I was thinking of making a stretch goal be you coming on stream so we can play Minecraft or Mario Kart or something...I mean, I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable. I could always replace it with something else. I know they've been wanting to see me dye my hair a bright color and dress up like an e-boy, so--"

"Really!?" you nearly yelled.

"What? That they want me to dress like an e-boy? Yeah, Kuroo said it would–"

"No, I mean..." You tried to fight the confused expression that was growing on your face, but your squinted eyes gave you away. "You really want me on your stream? Like face and all?"

"....Yeah, I really want to be able to share this with you. But don't feel like you have to do it just to make me happy."

It was a large ask when looking at the full picture. Kenma had his fair share of fans and "stans" who lacked boundaries, as seen from a select few who visited your home several times this year, or the handful that found you on social media already just from seeing a glimpse of your college ring on the hand wrapped around Kenma's water bottle.

There could be a chance you could receive direct hate on your social media just because you were a person who dated a popular streamer. You would then be in the public eye with little privacy and have a magnifying glass on all of your actions and words. Anything you did would then reflect on Kenma.

What if you messed something up and then Kenma lost viewers? Would they try to cancel you or him for it?

You backed away from all the negative thoughts before you could spiral and looked at the metaphorical 'pro' column.

If you agreed to appear on his stream, you would no longer have to sneak around your house in fear of being heard or showing up in his face cam. You both wouldn't have to feel guilty playing games off-camera with each other because you knew Kenma could be streaming it instead.

And who knew? Maybe his fans would like you. You had to admit, it would be a nice ego boost knowing that you were accepted by so many people.

And, most importantly: you could physically ask him in person what he wanted for dinner instead of texting him and waiting an hour for a break so he could respond, while you sat in the next room, starving, stuck in an endless cycle of wondering whether you should make a snack or if you should just hold off for dinner.

Maybe this was a good idea.

"Okay,” you decided, “I'll do it."

"Oh... alright. Cool." Kenma was trying his hardest not to show how excited he was that you agreed. When he saw the contemplative look on your face, he was sure you would decide that it'd just be too much work and say no. But hearing you agree made him giddier than he would ever admit to.

Despite the cool and collected façade he thought he was putting on, you saw the smile that threatened to break through and the red tips of his ears. You wondered if he felt the same weight being lifted off his shoulders as you did, knowing that, after this weekend, you'd both be finally out as an official couple to the world.

And, of course, the nausea of having to do all of it live in front of thousands of people. No biggie.

Saturday afternoon came and at 12pm sharp, Kenma began his grueling 24-hour charity stream. The bar had an overall goal of $150,000, and it began filling up at a constant pace right from the start. Donations ranging from $5 to $500 were flowing in rapidly, and you were trying your best not to feel nervous.

You both agreed that if he reached $50,000 within 5 hours, you would join him for an hour or two of Minecraft later that night. Part of you hoped that the donations would slow down and plateau for a bit, but when you saw Kuroo had donated $1000, specifically with the message that he hoped to see you on stream soon, you realized that it was a pipe dream.

So, you had to be your own hype person for now, to get prepared to show your face to thousands of people and not disappoint Kenma.

Whether it was the promise of your face reveal or the people who genuinely adored charity, it took only four hours for Kenma to break $50,000.

When he saw the number update live on stream, the viewers witnessed the most amount of expression Kenma had ever shown: eyes wide as saucers, mouth slightly agape, body frozen. You could see the gears struggling inside his head struggling to turn and comprehend what they all managed to do so early on in the stream.

"Thanks so much, everyone, for being so generous today... I guess this means we'll be having my partner on later tonight," he announced. You watched his chat explode with excitement, his special emotes flying in the chat.

You picked up your phone to shoot Kenma a quick text.

[you]:: hope you're ready to put our minecraft beds together in front of thousands of people 😏

Unsurprisingly, he left you on read. But dating him for this long meant you weren't even a little bit afraid of double or triple texting.

[you]:: maybe we can kiss under the light of an exploding creeper 😫

[you]:: or have a romantic walk through our rainbow sheep while a phantom looms overhead 🥰

It was after the third text when you finally saw him pick up his phone to text you back. You eagerly awaited his response, only to cackle when you read it.

[my sugar daddy]:: im going to replace you with hinata as my partner if you dont stop

Instead of annoying him any further, you set your phone to charge on your nightstand and went into the bathroom to get ready for the stream later.

Once you emerged, you picked up your phone to check the percentage and noticed a text from Kenma stating that he'd have you on at 8pm. You decided to spend the time until then cooking up some dinner for the both of you.

It seemed like time flew by because by the time you were done eating your food, it was 7:45pm. Only fifteen more minutes before you were live in front of all of Kenma's supporters. You refilled your water bottle and sat on the couch, staring at the blank T.V. as you practically dissociated from reality until Kenma came out of his office to retrieve you.

You noticed that he looked just as nervous as you did, despite his face not showing it the way yours did. His shoulders were up to his ears with tension, and his hoodie drawstring was pulled almost all the way through due to him fiddling with it.

He turned briefly to you after he brought you into his office, gesturing to make sure you knew to wait until he gave you the cue. He sat down, unmuted himself, and took down the 'away' screen he had for his audience.

This was it. Everything was going to change in literally ten seconds.

"Well, everyone...please welcome my partner, (Y/N)."

You walked cautiously around his large gaming chair and sat next to him in your modest desk chair that he had rolled into the room for the occasion.

Okay, you thought to yourself, now don't fuck this up.

"Hi, everyone."

Nailed it.

There was a painful moment of silence before the stream finally caught up, and you both heaved a sigh of relief when you saw nothing but declarations of excitement. Amongst the 'AHHHs' and spam of emotes were sweet comments about your appearance and how cute you two looked as a couple. You peeked over at Kenma and saw the ghost of a smile on his lips, elated to know that he was just as relieved as you were.

"Okay, let's start with the gameplay while we answer some questions," he said.

The questions and gameplay started out mild; when did you both start dating, how did you meet, who asked the other out first. They even asked a few simple questions about you specifically, like your favorite anime and your star sign. And while you did see a few bans in the chat after some inappropriate questions –no, you will not tell them the color of your underwear�� most were easy and simple enough to answer.

Then they started to get a bit spicier.

"Bokutoslefttit donated $69.69 and asked, 'what is your main pet peeve with Kenma?'" he read, muttering a 'wow' under his breath at the username.

"Ooh, how can I be polite when exposing you?" you pondered while beating a cow to death with your sword. "It's probably how loud he gets whenever he's playing games with his good headphones on."

"I don't get loud," he defended.

"Oh yeah, you do. I've had to come in here several times to tell you to shut up like I'm your mother. I did it literally two days ago when you were playing with Lev."

"... Next question."

You rolled your eyes at his lack of comment but glanced over at the chat to pull up a new question. You stifled a laugh when you read, "Girlboss420 asked 'who has a fatter ass, Kuroo or (Y/N)?'"

"I'm not answering that."

"Come oooon, this is a Q&A. Can't have the Q’s without the A’s."

"Nope."

You were about to start reprimanding him for implying that Kuroo's ass was fatter than yours when you noticed he ran past you with a group of pillagers following closely behind. You turned to head into the house but when you opened the door, you noticed it was blocked off by obsidian.

"You are the absolute worst!" you exclaimed.

You made a break for it, sprinting past the shooting pillagers and around to the front of the house. You made it inside with only 2 hearts to spare. You turned, in real life, to Kenma to see him tight-lipped to avoid smiling about his betrayal.

"I'm moving my bed downstairs for the rest of the stream."

You both carried on with the stream without another incident, turning to the chat every now and again to answer some questions. Kenma even apologized to you by bringing home a horse that was named "I'm sorry."

It was about an hour and a half after you sat down when Kenma decided that he needed a bathroom break. Your heart fell to your ass when you realized that you'd be all alone to entertain his chat. You considered saying that you needed to pee as well, if it meant not having the spotlight on you.

Instead, when he got up to pee, you smiled and asked him to bring you back a snack and a refill. Oh, how the turns have tabled.

In the meantime, you decided to scroll through the chat and some of the donations to pick out another question to answer since Kenma was gone. You were initially looking for a funny or vulgar comment when you saw one that had a completely different vibe.

"Kermithateblog donated $25.00 and asked, 'what's your favorite part about being with Kenma?' Wow, that's a really sweet question. Let me think for a moment."

You paused to reflect on your relationship with Kenma over the two years you’d been together. You'd had your fair share of highs and lows like any other couple, but, in the end, you both learned how to work things out so you were both equally as happy in the relationship.

"So, as you guys know, he's a busy boy with streaming, creating content for YouTube, and also being a CEO of his own company, which all takes up the majority of his time," you began. "But when he finally can shut off his screens and crawls into bed late at night, I know that he's 100% there with me at that moment. He is able to give me his undivided attention and make me feel like his love for me comes above his love for gaming."

You gave a pause, trying not to get too emotional. You rarely got the chance to gush about Kenma because you knew how much he hated having attention on him, so if this was going to be your only opportunity to do so for a while, then you were going to take it.

"What y'all don't know is that he is the biggest baby when it comes to cuddling," you laughed. "He is absolutely the little spoon most of the time, and he loves when I stroke his hair and love on him all night. In a weird way, it makes me feel special and loved knowing that he trusts me enough to be vulnerable with me. I cherish the amount of time we have together because of that."

What you didn't know was that he had come back from refilling your water bottle rather quickly and stood outside the doorway to hear your speech. His heart almost burst when he heard your tender words describing how he made you feel. He knew that you rarely got to hear how much those quiet moments at night meant to him because he was guarded with his feelings.

Which is why he started into the room on a mission.

You smiled as soon as you saw him. "Welcome back, babe, we were just talking about--"

He approached you swiftly and leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. You hardly even got to bask in the moment before he was pulling away, setting down your water bottle as he sat back down with his controller in hand like he didn't just expose to his audience how much of a softy he really was.

It was in that moment when you realized how glad you were that you’d decided to appear on stream because you'd be able to look back at that clip over and over again to relive the intimate moment.

Noon on Sunday came at last. Kenma would finally be free from the prison of his office. Not to mention he could finally get off his ass and stretch.

Between your official appearance on stream and the sign-off, you popped in a few more times to say hello to the chat when you brought him some snacks and drinks. You stayed up through most of the night, although you accidentally napped for a few hours during the dead of night which gave you a little boost in energy.

In the end, the stream was a monumental success. Kenma had even managed to blow past his goal of $150k and make it to over $200k, which meant that he'd be getting the full e-body makeover for his next week of streams.

By the time Kenma came into your bedroom after freshening up and having a small snack, you were already dead asleep with your laptop propped open to show his now offline stream.

He tip-toed around the bed quietly, closed your laptop, pulled the covers up and over your curled-up body, and slipped in himself. As he settled, he felt you shift and grab at his worn t-shirt, opening your eyes slightly just to confirm that it's him.

He pulled you against his chest tightly, his body finally able to relax. He was sure it wouldn't be too long before he completely fell out.

"That was more fun than I thought it'd be," he heard you utter quietly.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." His fingers gently danced across your shoulder blades as you mushed your face into his clean shirt. "I can't believe we raised so much today so quickly."

"I'm so proud of you, baby. You worked so hard on this."

"I also donated $2000 anonymously to speed up the process," he mumbled sheepishly, pressing a gentle kiss on the crown of your head in hopes to lessen the blow of his secret.

It was quiet for a moment, and he wondered if he’d genuinely pissed you off before he felt the vibrations from your laugh against his chest.

"...I can't wait to ruin your hair, e-boy."

Written by: Luna

[butwhatifidothis]

Man. Using Feminist™ Hanneman to prop up Woobiegard was eyebrow worthy, but Petra's character assassination to do the same? There's too many layers to how bad it is; from making shit up like Brigid wanting to depose their king for thinking Petra's more loyal to the empire, which she PROVES THEM RIGHT ABOUT; Petra giving zero fucks about what is going on in Brigid for this development to occur; forcing them to spread the will of their conquerors; and she's NOT supposed to be sounding brainwashed?

Different nonnie: Fic!Petra really just spent this entire chapter being like “let me prove how much I love my homeland and am such a good future queen by showing how little I actually understand my people, forcing them to accept a relationship with their oppressors and spending more time thinking about my bestie and pretty girlfriend than my people and the circumstances behind their rebellion.”

Lmao yeah, it was already bad enough to use Hanneman and have him go "eh my sister died from what seems to be easily preventable circumstances according to what everyone in this damn fanfiction keeps describing Fodlan to be like so I'll grovel before Woobiegard too sure why not" but Petra was an entirely different sport.

Because, like, it doesn't just end at "forcing her people to work with the nation who killed their king through the violent conquest of their country and who has kept their country under forced vassalage for a decade." It has the balls to go even further than that; it's straight up says that if Brigid were to fight against Adrestia, then that would be BRIGID continuing an endless "cycle of hatred and revenge" and that it would be on THEM that violence and bloodshed would happen.

Petra literally calls them the traitors. She says that not standing with Woobiegard and the Empire that had violently conquered them is treason, and that she has a royal right to execute them for their actions against her. Oh would you look at that someone on Woobiegard's side being a self-centered self-important piece of shit who doesn't care for anyone but themselves and the friends immediately around them and who doesn't consider the ramifications their actions could have on others and who blames everyone else for people disliking them wow what a new development to have happened in this fic this has never happened before ever.

And, like. I need y'all to see what is considered a "just" rebellion.

Lonato, a lord who rallied up his untrained civilians to be thrown at the meat grinder just to get a slight chance at maybe murdering the Archbishop because she had his son (who also tried to murder her) executed:

Used to demonize the Church, because of their use of violent force and because of Rhea's using it to send a message.

The rebellion that Dimitri and Felix put down two years before the start of the game - the one started by a noble family trying to take the power of the throne:

Used to demonize Dimitri, because of him "denying" his people their "right to rise up."

The soldiers of Brigid, who are trying to get their freedom back after watching their princess literally help the Emperor of the Empire that had conquered them go on to conquer even more land:

The rebels are called traitors for using their right to rise up. And are used by Petra to send a message, under threat of lethal force upon refusal. So, literally what Dimitri and Rhea were shat on for doing. Like, objectively the exact same thing. Except here it's infinitely worse because this is an actual commoner's rebellion so Petra is directly threatening her civilians with deadly force should they refuse to abide by her commands.

It really had to have been challenging to make Petra such an absolutely shitty person, but Cap'n's talents come shinin' through yet again lmao

[mercurial-madhouse]

Trigger Warning: Healing is painful, but there’s so much light on the other side if we’re strong enough to walk through the dark.

My hope in sharing my story is to help anyone who reads it find peace or healing, just as I always aim with my fiction. If it feels right to you to do so, I encourage you to reblog this. It is highly personal, but I choose to share it publicly.

************

This past Sunday, I received an email responding to my desire to withdraw from a fic fest. Instead of the simple “You have been removed from the fest” that I���d been expecting through an official channel from mods to a participant, this is the response I received. Please be aware, the following is painful.

***

We've removed you from the fest and will mark you down as not being welcome to participate in future fests. We show a great deal of compassion toward our writers, which is why we send reminders, answer any and all questions, and provide extensions when requested. There's a reason why our fest has one of the highest numbers of fics of any fest/challenge in the fandom - it's because we support our participating writers and do everything possible to assist them as they complete their fics.

However, once a writer has repeatedly failed to communicate and missed both a deadline and an extended deadline, it's clear that they do not have any respect for the fest, the mods, our time, or our own unique situations, as we don't have endless extra hours to track down participants in a fic fest. Several reminders on three different platforms, an extension, and requests for writers to simply let us know if they need more time does not demonstrate a lack of compassion in any capacity. We also showed a great deal of compassion by welcoming you with open arms into the [redacted] after you insulted the fest, insulted [redacted] fics, and made writers uncomfortable last year after signing up to beta their fics, all while pretending to support and uplift writers in the fandom just as you did in your email here.

Have a great week!

- [redacted] Mods

***

This email arrived right at the end of the night, just as I was lying down to sleep. I couldn’t read it all the way through. It elicited a trauma response in me. My heart started racing, my palms were sweaty, I was shaking, I felt sick to my stomach.

I went into fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode. My first response was to freeze. In order to escape the barrage of pain bombarding me, I simply dissociated and disconnected from my body. It allowed me to sleep, but barely. I deleted the email in a desperate attempt to pretend it didn’t exist.

The pain caught up with me twenty-four hours later. I couldn’t breathe, my lungs shrunk in around my heart. My whole body locked up. I couldn’t move. I knew that if I spoke, even to say ‘hello’ to someone, I’d start crying.

The moment I was alone in my room the tears came. The pain came, bursting through me. I sobbed uncontrollably, curled into myself on my bed, begging for the pain to stop, begging for a miracle, screaming internally for relief and to understand what I’d done to deserve this because I didn’t have the air for more than broken whispers.

I fell asleep whispering ‘I need a miracle’ over and over. The mantra blocked out all the disgusting thoughts that wanted to keep swirling through my head. This is it. This is the final proof that you don’t belong here. You never have. You never will. Run away, M. It’s over. You tried, you failed. You always do. You always will.

I fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion.

Grief is intense. These are the moments where we don’t think we’ll survive what we’re feeling. My love, whoever you are, if you are reading this, hear from me. The agony passed. I needed to feel that agony, to allow it to move through me and to give myself the space to feel it. Without diving off the deep end into what hurts, I wouldn’t have been able to find the inner peace to keep healing, to start to understand.

The residual pain is still there, even as I write this post. But it no longer overwhelms my senses. And by Tuesday morning, I’d been given insight into what was happening.

I experienced a trauma response because it mirrored mistreatment I first received in childhood from family and classmates alike and continued into my adult life. In full view of others, it was acknowledged as cruel even by my mother, who struggles with her own guilt because she never stood up for me. No one did.

So I internalized the mistreatment. I must deserve it if everyone else around me is ok with me being singled out like this? At first I spoke up for myself. But in the end I stopped speaking up for myself too. I had never healed this pain and here it was, coming back around again, forcing me to face it, to heal it once and for all.

I still do not know what exactly I may have said to cause these accusations that you see in the email. **I do not and will not deny them.** Even if my words were taken in a way I did not consciously intend, to deny that I said anything that caused someone else pain is to deny my own power AND to deny that everyone’s emotions are valid and worth digging into.

I have the power to inflict pain, just as I have the power to spread and share love and joy.

Whatever I said came from a place of pain, of believing I did not belong in this community. That I am not good enough or worthy enough to be here. A series of unfortunate but necessary events when I first entered this fandom completely disintegrated my core beliefs in my abilities as a writer, something I have always kept so close to my heart, and my belief that I had a place in this fandom.

I expect, as I look into my past patterns, that what I did was try to logic why I wasn’t allowed to belong. At the time, this fest was the only subset of the fandom I knew, I was so brand new. So I looked through all the prompts in the fest. I brought a scientific method view to answering the question: “What is it about the fics people write in this fandom am I unable/incapable of doing?”

This process allowed me to generalize everything I saw that I perceived as ‘I can’t do that, this is why I don’t belong here’. Consumed in my own doubt that I could measure up and write something worth reading, I dropped from the fest last year too. If I can’t contribute writing that’s worth reading, I could at least stick with what I do best, which is helping others be their best selves. I had signed up to beta, and I chose to cling to the only grasp of belonging I had, which was through beta’ing. I ended up beta’ing four fics last year for the fest. And, of course, each of them were (and still are) incredible fics. At the time, it was further proof to me of exactly what I can’t accomplish.

In all likelihood, these generalizations, stemming from a place of pain and jealousy because I wanted to write good fics too, came out in a personal conversation with someone, which they translated as a personal attack. It is valid. Whoever you are, your emotions are valid. It does not matter how I meant whatever I said, pain is what you felt. This person did not feel comfortable sharing that pain with me, so instead they turned to others and shared. My moment of vulnerability and pain then spread more pain.

Pain only comes from pain.

The response was to shadow ban me. In fact, I was never meant to find out about any of this. The pain this person shared was simply taken at face value and that was that.

So on my end, this decision showed up in the physical world this way: Suddenly all my asks went unanswered, people I tagged to share snippets and last lines and get to know more through ‘about me’ posts or who had once talked to me through DMs simply stopped speaking to me in a way that is only noticeable to the person being ignored. I thought I was going crazy. But there it was, right in front of me: absolute proof that I wasn’t good enough to be a part of this fandom.

Is anyone else beginning to see the cycle of pain?

I expect I continued this cycle right back, because the pain turned to bitterness. I’d been doing everything I could to support every author the best way I knew how, and this was what I got? The exact opposite?

I found out about this shadow ban and actual blocking around June of this year. An ask sent in by a friend for me, inquiring why I couldn’t reblog a post that’d been sent to me by someone else, finally gave me the answer that I’d been banned for the accusations you saw above.

Horrified, hurt, and unable to comprehend any of this except to know that I support every author no matter what they write, I sent an apology to the mods, trying to end this cycle the best I could without knowing any of the details of what had happened. There was nothing more I could do.

They thanked me for the apology, though as you can see from the email, it was never accepted. I do not say that as a judgement call, but simply as a statement of what happened. Everyone is entitled to accept or not accept in their own time and their own ways.

I have been healing so much since everything that occurred last year. And the more I dig in to this cycle, the more my heart goes out to the drafters of this email, to the person I hurt with my words who then turned to share it out of context with others, and to the people who shadow banned me in connection with this situation.

We attract to us what resonates with us. Like attracts like. Which means just as I’ve attracted the greatest friends to me, I have also attracted this pain, and conversely, these mods and that person attracted me to them.

Deep down, on some level we share the same core wounds. And the person who can really understand just how painful those wounds can be is someone who feels them too.

So this is my message to the mods of the above email, to those who have shadow banned me and want nothing to do with me, and to the original person I hurt with my words:

I am sorry for my part in this pain. I am sorry for causing pain and I apologize for it. You are loved. You are enough. You are doing a fantastic job. Your feelings are valid. Your hurt is valid. I don’t know what occurred that hurt you before I entered the fandom, but after finding out from others that an email like the one you sent above is ‘Oh that’s just how they are’ tells me something else happened to hurt you before I even arrived.

Your hurt then is valid too. Allow yourself to feel it and process it. Don’t let it consume you. Don’t let that hurt and fear of it happening again or believing that that’s how everyone is push away from you people who in fact love just what you love. If someone has a different belief from yours, don’t let it invalidate what is true for you. Believing internalized lies about myself only caused me pain. And we spread and create what we believe to be true, whether we consciously realize it or not.

So here, now, is my truth:

I choose to perpetuate love. I choose to spread love. I choose to understand my pain and the pain of others, to transmute it, and to heal it, instead of passing that pain on.

I choose compassion. Compassion for myself in making these mistakes, and compassion for those who have hurt me. I do not condone the email that was sent to me. No one deserves to be treated that way. I choose to focus beneath the visceral anger and lashing out, to focus on the agony beneath the words, and stop this cycle of pain.

I choose to belong in this fandom. I choose to support every author in this fandom and ensure no one ever feels not good enough. I choose to own my past mistakes and learn from them.

I choose trust. To trust that those who I truly hope will see this, will see it. I have no expectations of responses or outcomes or reactions. My only hope is that whoever will benefit from seeing this post will see it.

This is not a matter of right or wrong, bad or good, just or unjust. It is a situation of two parties in pain, triggered by the same triggers.

Looking back on that email, I’ve come to realize that half of the pain I felt when I received it was not my own. I felt the pain of the attack, sure, but I also felt the immense pain beneath those words. And I wish I could hug you. I acknowledge your pain and I acknowledge how painful it is because I know that pain myself. I also know that this pain isn’t you and it isn’t who you are.

So I choose to remember the mods I first met around this same time last year in this same email chain. Mods who were so kind and offered advice to a brand new writer even when she sent an email that had nothing to do with the fest and was still struggling to find her place in the fandom. I choose to remember how beautiful that kindness felt. I choose to remember how I was so grateful for that kindness that I shared my gratitude for these same mods in an email with with another fandom friend at the time. I am still grateful for you.

You are so loved. You are loved for being exactly who you are. This fandom is built upon love. A shared love of five incredibly talented lads who have brought so much joy and light when each and every one of us has needed it the most. Shine your light through the dark and believe with all your heart that you are not alone. You have support. I support you. Shine on. Don’t let anyone dim it.

[lovecinnatwist]

How would you go about writing omega Jason with Alpha Dick?

Man oh man- Omega!Jason with Alpha!Dick is always such a bop.

It depends really! I see so many fics with insecure Jason thinking Dick is too good for him which is nice and definitely in character- but sometimes it makes me crave the other end of the spectrum?

Like a confident, sexy Jason who teases Dick with his scent and body until the alpha wants to implode? I also like the idea of Jason being raised by an Omeganist!Alfred and Omega!Talia to be badass, sassy and sensual. Bras? Suppressants? Painful heats?

Not for Jason Todd!

He embraces his Omega-ninity and it wreaks havoc on Dick's hormones. Dick being a more conservative alpha would definitely find himself overwhelmed but enamored!

Here's something playful with a clumsy Alpha!Dick and confident pack Omega!Jason!

Tiddies Out - JayDick

Tags: Omegaverse, AlphaDick, OmegaJason, Pining, Crack treated Seriously, Lactating, Heat Cycles, Omega Tim, Alpha Bruce, Pup Damian- Just Dick being an obvious pining idiot and Jason enjoying his reactions-

Jason doesn’t mind being an omega. How could he when it’s one of the superior options? While Alpha’s often lost themselves to aggression during rutting season and beta’s scrambled to placate them- Omega’s got to sit back and watch the show.

Being the object of an alpha’s fascination has many perks. First off? The gifts. Lavish offerings make their way to him with little to no effort. Weaponry from Talia, Expensive silks and poisons from Ras, The latest tech from Tim and Bruce. It's an endless parade really. One of the few things that make this more bearable to put up with.

He’s a heavy milker. Always has been.

Maybe it’s from growing up in an abusive household. Perhaps it's in response to being closer to the pack’s pups or hell, maybe his body is just gearing up for the imaginary children it wants to have. Regardless of the reason Jason’s tits are aching.

They seem extra tender tonight. The cold dingy air does little to ease the tension under his armor. He shifts and the way his pads squish under bullet proof chest plates is a pain. He curses and tries to ignore it. Something that’s getting harder as the cotton under his clothing reaches its limit. Tsk- 4 hours his ass. It’s barely been 2 and he’s about to make a mess of his gear.

As annoying as it is. He reluctantly reaches into his kit to get two fresh napkins to change. Other omega’s might be shy to do this in public but Jason has always been more practical about it. Breasts are breasts, no reason to get all crazy about it.

Though it probably didn’t hurt that Jason himself had a nice rack. He knows what the other heroes say about him behind his back. His figure has never been more appreciated than now in his prime. The dip in the pit did wonders at helping him bulk up. Thighs thick, emphasising his trim waist. In the throws of season his ample chest gives him an illusion of an hourglass figure. While some people would say omega’s should be small and dainty, he has yet to meet an alpha or beta who can resist him.

Not to be vain but he is nothing else if not attractive.

He’s got his top half way off when the sound of a near violent thud echoes out in the darkness. The hiss of pain gives away the alpha before his scent can. Jason doesn’t even turn in his direction. Instead he keeps his attention on the sopping pads under the compression shirt. He hisses as the gentle adhesive pulls from his throbbing mamories.

“ You alright over there goldie? “

He gets a groan for an answer. A nicer person would have maybe let the other man know about his current state of undress. Too bad that Jason isn’t exactly known for being ‘nice’. He carefully wraps up one cotton cloth. Once he’s clean and dry, he applies another. It’s quick and easy work. The slight chill does wonders against his flush skin.

The worn form of Nightwing crawls from the side of the building. There’s a pretty good bruise on his cheek Jason is 90% sure that the acrobat had a less than graceful landing. He’s always been weird about nudity. Even back when they mostly had the same parts. He rolls his eyes as the man pointedly tries not to look at him. He can’t help scoffing at the false modesty.

“ Hood. You shouldn’t do this out in the open like this. Anyone could see you. “

Everyone knows Jason is an omega, by extension that means Red Hood. It’s one of the reasons why his territory is so well protected. No one wants to cross an omega. While the fangs in their mouths were now more for scruffing kits, no one had forgotten the days when they were for hunting prey and tearing out throats.

He would flash his at Dick but he’s wearing his helmet and would probably just looks stupid. He manages to get the other pad off. It’s absolutely drenched. His left teet is definitely working harder than the right. The sheer weight of the cotton makes a loud squelch as it hits the little plastic bag at his feet.

He snorts. “ And you know what they’d say N? Best tits in Gotham. “

The alpha’s face is anything but amused. The furrow of his brow and spike in his scent is territorial and aggressive. It’s laughable really considering the fact that between the two of them, Jason is actually the one in charge of protecting the pack. It’s all a part of being the lead omega.

Whether Bruce or Dick want to accept it or not.

“ Stop objectifying yourself like that. “

Jason enjoys the feeling of being clean and dry as he gets the other cotton adhesive on. It’s a welcome sensation. Especially when he straightens his armor and it’s a little less chafing and tight.

“ It’s only objectication if I say I’m only a nice pair of tits Wing. Luckily I’ve got a nice set of thighs too.“

He pays Dick no mind as he stands and packs away his used pads to be thrown away later. He might have to call it an early night at the rate. With the way fall is quickly approaching his heat is just dying to make an appearance. Perhaps he could get away with offering himself to the foster system. With the amount of milk he’s making now it would be better for the pups who need it to benefit instead of it all going to the trash.

“ Hood! “ The sound is a scandalized growl. It’s funny enough that Jason throws his head back and laughs free and clear. With the voice modulator it’s mean and menacing. Amusement bubbles in his chest. He can’t help taking off his helmet so that Dick can take in just how wide his smile is.

“ Sorry Wing. I’m a pretty girl. What can I say? “

Talia is nothing but progressive. While many omega’s in the west suffer from low self esteem. Jason learned his worth quickly. Confidence is beauty. The more one loves themselves, adores them selves and takes time to know themselves the more they blossom. It’s a deep healing that not everyone gets to understand. A privilege for a few chosen omegas. He cocks his head and smiles and see’s the exact moment Dick starts losing his footing in the conversation.

The alpha is tongue tied.

“ That’s not what I mean and you know it Hood. “

Jason shrugs. Once he’s got his stuff away he’s ready to run roofs and actually get some work done.

“ Sorry Goldie. It’s 2021 and haven’t you heard? Red Hood says free the tiddies. “

He doesn’t wait for a response as he makes a running start towards the edge of the building. It’s always such a thrill. He tucks a bit to clear the gap. The moment his legs touch the concrete the sound is silent despite the bulk of his frame. Dick calls after him but he loses the words in the wind. Laughter bubbles up in his throat. He wouldn’t be a prude just because his family wanted to be sexually repressed more than they wanted to be happy.

Dick doesn’t try to catch up with him and Jason finishes the night patrolling with Tim and Stephanie.

He manages to get an entire three hours out of the next set of pads. Instead of changing out in the open he accepts Alfred’s invitation back at the manor for a warm bath and cookies. Tim stares at his chest while Jason gets himself decent.

Tim is a gorgeous omega, with a slender petite frame and porcelain doll-like features. He always seems to get shy in the presence of Jason’s more unconventional curves.

Jason knows what low self esteem looks like. The younger omega wears it no matter how much bravo he tries to exude. Jason brushes against him briefly and lightly. His usual fragrance is marshmellowy from the sweetness of milk that clings to it.

There’s an immediate blush as Tim ducks away. Clearly he’s embarrassed from being caught. Though in reality where is the shame in a little boob appreciation amongst omegas?

“ You know Timmy, you gotta stop wearing bras. Maybe if you show a glimpse of those pretty pink nips Kon would take the hint. “

Tim goes red from his ears to his chest. Jason can practically see the steam coming from his ears. He slaps his hands over his petite breast quick enough to hurt. Jason wants to let him scamper off but instead he presses into his space even more. Long gone is the perfume of pup, now that Tim has come fully into his omega hood. Every day his scent leans more and more towards caramel and sugar.

“ Uhg you’re such a jerk. “

Tim tries to dodge out of his hold but Jason gets him anyway. The omega yelps and Jason ducks him right between each swollen peck. They are red and tender from patrol. He hasn’t put on new pads yet so some milk beads at his nipples. The little shriek Tim lets out is hilarious.

“ You’re going to get milk in my hair! Jason stop- God you suck- “

The omega fights and Jason lets him go before the two actually get into it. It’s light and playful. Well for the most part. Tim gets some milk on his face and the teen honest to God looks terrified. He curses all the way to the shower stall to take another quick bath all while Jason cackles at his misfortune.

“ I swear to God, when I start milking I'm going to get you back Ten fold! “

Jason rolls his eyes. As if.The last thing Jason’s afraid of is milk. It’s a natural thing. God everyone in this pack is repressed.

“ We’ll see about that Timberella! “

The omega hisses and Jason has to hold back a laugh as he leaves the shower. He’s so light and high from the interaction that he completely for gos a shirt. Not that he really wants to wear one. Not with how milk heavy and tender his chest is. Alfred’s always been pretty cool about it too. Being from the 60’s and all that jazz.

Jason maybe gets half way through the cave before the sound of metal crashing draws his attention. Dick walks cleanly into one of the metal tables in the middle of the lab space, knocking over tools and gadgets.

Bruce is thoroughly unimpressed from where he’s helping Damian stretch before bed. He’s in half of his costume, suppressors and scent blockers gone. The sheer disappointment in Damian’s gaze is astonishing.

“ Richard, please control yourself. “

The alpha looks like a deer caught in headlights, his mortification absolutely palpable in the air.

Jason does catch his eyes on his chest though. He smirks and sees the moment horror grows in those bright blue eyes. Instead of heading towards the stairs he decides to circle back towards the group.

Bruce chuffs from his position on the floor. He doesn’t stop what he’s doing but does tilt towards him in reverence. It’s been the biggest change in their dynamic. Bruce finally learning to respect Jason as not only a pack mate, but the pack omega. He greets him with a scenting.

Unlike Dick the alpha seems to pay little attention to his milking.

Damian’s puppy nose twitches as he leans towards him. It makes his heart flutter really. While Damian would never ask, Jason has thought of offering his breast many times. While Technically too old for it, they’ve all done their fair share of growing up too quickly. Something that Jason Laments as well as appreciates.

He scents Damian more thoroughly than Bruce, making him bristle. The boy tries to move out of his hold, hands swatting him away.

“ Todd cease your pestering immediately! If I smell of milk my peers will assume I still breastfeed. “

Jason snorts and pulls back from the prickly pup. Bruce gets a stupid fond look on his face and for a brief moment he feels it echoing on his lips.

“ And what’s wrong with that? If your pack omega is milking of course as a pup you’re welcome to it. “

Damian’s green eyes widen a fraction. His mouth opens in disbelief. Clearly, Damian in fact did not know that. Bruce stares as well, his scent turning into a sweet blend of ‘love-admiration-awe’. It draws a shiver up Jason’s spine. The tender mix of affection from his pack blankets over him like a net of spun sugar.

Jason doesn’t know why he feels drawn to look at Dick. The alpha hasn’t said anything in the past minute. He cuts his gaze to the stone still alpha and his heart flutters in excitement. The looks of jealousy and want is so strong that his intentions sparkle clear like aquamarine in shallow ocean waters.

The alpha is so much more honest when he thinks Jason isn’t looking.

He grins at Dick.

The alpha immediately shrinks in shame and embarrassment.

“ And of course any alpha spending my heat with me. “

[lovingkawa]

It’s over, isn’t it?

[Kozume Kenma.]

-

It hurt.

Everything hurt. From when he was in your life and it hurt a million times more, when he wasn’t. It felt impossible to breathe without Kenma Kozume in your life. Yet, being with him wasn’t something that made the air thinner. Your love for each other just wasn’t enough to keep you two alive.

After being in a nearly two year relationship, Kozume became distant. He would swear up and down that he loved you and that it wasn’t because of anything serious; but if that’s true, why is he not being your Kozume?

Millions of question swarm your mind but you just wait. That’s the dynamic. You wait. He lingers. It’s an endless cycle that you two can never break.

Some days have been harder than others. The day the fight broke out was the worst and beat day; the hardest day you both have had to endure during this entire relationship. Only because, you can only hold in so much until you simply explode.

It was a calm morning for the most part. You had just woken up and turned over; seeing the empty side of the bed that was supposed to be the comfort of your long-term lover. However, like most days been: Kozume has been long gone from the shared bed. He’s already cozied up in the gaming room, not even taking a glance at you as you step into the poorly lit room.

“Good morning, Kozume.” you said as you gently tapped his shoulder to gain his attention. To no surprise, he gently shoved your touch off;

“Good morning to you.” He said with little to no emotion. At first glance, you two appeared as roommates who’ve never loved each other. It sucked more than words are even able to convey. However, like the people pleaser you were; you stayed silent. Saying nothing but a petty scoff.

To much surprise, Kozume had quickly caught onto the sound and stared over at you. His eyes were piercing at you.

“What was that for?” He asked. You didn’t know if this fight was for a reason or if you were just, simply over it.

“Oh? You actually noticed something negative i’ve done without me having to tell you about it?” you asked in almost genuine disbelief. You could see the gears grinding in his head, trying to understand where this sudden attitude was coming from.

“[Name], what on earth are you even talking about?” he asked. It felt like these words are the first words he’s even muttered to you in weeks. It almost felt funny. You felt like you were over-reacting but this felt like the biggest problem in the world to you at this moment. Something he wouldn’t even be able to understand if he even tried.

“I’m tired, Kozume. Tired of waking up alone when there’s someone who is supposed to be there to kiss. Tired of feeling all my emotions by myself. Tired of feeling like a burden to someone who was supposed to make me feel like some kind of angel. Its like you don’t even love me. It’s exhausting.” you said with tears welling up into your eyes. You couldn’t tell if these tears were sad tears or tears of frustration. Whatever they were, you felt pitiful. Pitiful for crying in front of the very man who made you feel this way.

Kozume’s face was very stoic. No emotion was showing through that unfazed stare, which made the feeling in your stomach a million times worse. It’s not like you wanted to break up; you just wanted to feel noticed and loved back.

“You know…” he finally said, with a loud said; “You’ve always been like this…ever since we gotten together. Always needy. Always demanding. Always expecting things from me that I never even promised you in the first place. You think it’s not far to you; but what about me? You think I asked to be the bearer of your emotions? That’s not my job and you know that, [Name.] If you truly feel like I don’t care or love you, then we should just break up.”

Once you registered the words into your mind, you didn’t speak. You just nodded as you rushed out of the room and started packing random shit. You don’t know what you packed, and at this point you don’t care what you do and don’t have. You just wanted to go. Immediately after you finished, you rushed to the front door.

You stood there for a good while. Staring at the once beautiful apartment you shared with someone who you adored. It’s not like you didn’t expect this to happen but, realizing your home is not your home anymore was a gut wrenching feeling. That you hated.

Kozume had walked out of the room and stared at you once again, this time with a tear streamed face. You had just assumed reality had sunk in for him but, he didn’t say a word. Meaning, he meant what he said and that it won’t change.

“I’m sorry. You know I love you. You just deserve more.” he said, finally speaking up.

“Don’t be sorry. I already know.” you said, your voice getting smaller and knees beginning to feel weaker.

“Farewell, Kenma.” you said as you quickly rushed out of the apartment.

You had officially just left the one place that had been your home for well over a year. The one person who was your home. For good.

It really was over.

-

requests open! <3

[sothischickshe]

A secret for you: I don't understand the hype around Bridgerton. It's basically Downton Abbey meets Gossip Girl without the charming appeal of either

oooh! ok so ive seen gossip girl (the original, not the revival), but i havent seen downton abbey. and i have seen bridgerton! though ive not read any of the books. i don't think i'd say bridgerton was charmless, and im not sure i liked it (much?) less than gossip girl (although it’s hard to compare one short season to however long gossip girl eventually went on for), but i am sure i liked it more than the thing i havent seen, ha.

i guess you weren’t actually asking haha but this sparked THOUGHTS so im gonna arbitrarily claim there are ~3 prongs that account for the hype (and/or noise?):

1. fake dating

it's a top tier trope!!! and this was the main storyline!!! i am already charmed, ha.

i must admit i didn't really care that much about what was going on with any of the other von trapp children and barely remember the wider cast of characters, which is a point against the charm for sure.

plus omg! amongst all these boring young ppl i really feel we were robbed of a main chick's widowed mother & main dude's cool godmother(?) romance. (but i do often feel this way abt media focused on young ppl, so it's not special in that regard.)

2. a british(ish) period piece ft black british actors WHO AREN’T PLAYING JAZZ MUSICIANS

!!!!!!!!!!!!! this country's biggest export really might be period shows, which are overwhelmingly white, & that deffffinitely contributes to the ♻️cycle of (particularly screen) actors of colour having difficulty finding work & leaving. in fact snl parodied this trend (i say parodied, I'm now half convinced ice cube is secretly english), in the ep that regé-jean page hosted last yr!

I find it very difficult to muster much enthusiasm for this endless parade of these period shows, and im aware im poss being unfair to downton abbey but i just...dont care abt it? beyond the good fight’s meta parody anyhow.

personally i think bridgerton mightve worked better with ~actual race blind casting, cos instead you end up with this weird context where race does but also doesnt seem to exist in the show’s world, but i was left kinda willing to see how that developed in future seasons, and theyve announced a queen charlotte prequel spinoff, which sounds like it could be genuinely interesting?

anyway it defffffffff felt like a breath of fresh air in this regard so again, I'm immediately charmed!

3. marketing/furore

the show first appeared in that weird taint of a period btwn xmas & new year, which’d generally be a great time to air cos a lot of ppl are pissing abt barely interacting with reality AND pretty much everything else is on hiatus. throw in a global pandemic & you can deffo see how this generated more hype/noise than it probably wouldve otherwise! Plus I'm sure all the brouhaha abt the ‘steaminess’ contributed!

there’s also ofc criticism of the show (’historical’ ‘accuracy’, too much steaminess, depictions of lack of/consent, casting, adaptational success etc etc), and while that stuff doesnt directly contribute to hype... it does contribute to noise, and i think those can kiiinda end up being one and the same...? 🤔

My greatest piece of criticism is probs that it's RIDONK to feature wisteria (a FAMOUSLY short flowering plant) for the whole season??? Am I to believe the span of the first season was like 3 weeks???? 🤯 Wisteria should pretty much only feature onscreen TO start withering to provide a sense of 'time' 🤺🗻❕ (or to not wither to demonstrate a show is set in a fantasy world where time moves differently!!!!!)

But also: i feel like the show had the makings of a potentially interesting & nuanced conversation about consent -- a period piece obvi easily allows you to show how definitions & attitudes change, the fake dating plot is kicked off by honour-defending so it's already a main topic, & then main dude kinda exploits main chick’s complete lack of sex education cos of his (!totally valid) non-interest in having kids. and the conclusion to her spermjacking is... oh suddenly we've solved all our problems in the last 45 seconds cos actually everyone DOES want to have kids which ARE a magic balm for everything actually....? um. 🤯

i thought the show’d kinda shot itself in the foot cos main duke’s left 🍿, but it sounds like each season focuses on a different one of the siblings so maybe he’ll be doing deeply important business somewhere offscreen the whole time lol. the fact that i didnt care that much abt the other characters doesnt super bode well for my investment in further seasons, and i wouldnt be that surprised if this show goes the way of the avatar sequels, but im probs up for checking out s2 if it sounds vaguely interesting......? (and that prequel!)

but gossip girl is such an interesting point of comparison... cos i am ALMOST tempted to rewatch it, primarily to see how well it hangs together w/ the reveal of who gg is. but.... idk i think i’d probs get annoyed fast? I feel like it's taking up a fairly rosy spot in my memories but if I interrogate a little... It DID get way overly convoluted & introduce too many rando characters & there were a few too many rounds of the partner shuffle & it's another show that kinda backed itself into a corner with an ill thought out inclusion of a(t least one) rape plot, I assume from the source material 😕

But also and probs most crucially... It's centred on young ppl like SO much media and given I watched it first when I was a young ppl it's def got a nostalgia vibe but idk, as a no longer young person I do find it harder to get invested in stuff about babies? So I wonder if perhaps bridgerton isn't much less charming than gossip girl, rather you're just old now 😂😘😘😘😘😘

Tell me a secret!