#this show has been in my life for like... 6 years
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
1: on his shoulder, because lap makes my back hurt eventually whereas his shoulder is easy to reach and comfy
2: hoodies, however we give sweaters to him
3: netflix, we’re terrified of clubbing so some movies and a good snack sounds way better
4: denim, leather feels icky on us, and he has this really nice denim jacket that he looks great in and that he let us borrow once
5: their smiles when they’ve done something good and they’re proud of themselves :] my boy gets the happiest little grin and it’s adorable
6: not a tea fan :[
7: however it tastes on my boyfriend’s lips
8: brown
9: nope!
10: yep :3 it’s on my husband, don’t tell him though :3
11: rugby to watch, badminton to play
12: we mostly wear neutrals but we’re honestly more of a gothic colours mlm
13: sometimes, if it won’t make us dysphoric that day
14: our boy is taller than us, and whilst sometimes we’re annoyed about it because we feel like a backpack spooning him (/lh), it’s kind of worth it for the soft holds we get in return sometimes that make us feel like we fit perfectly
15: hand kisses, they feel more intimate somehow
16: hmmm, i’m not sure? we like our own one, which smells like biscuits?
17: restaurant date where we’ve googled the menu beforehand and chosen our food already, specifically this adorable little italian restaurant that our husband lives near because their food is beautiful
18: cabin getaway, only because we absolutely melt in the heat, which is not cute or sexy by any means
19: love, simon! first one we watched and it shaped us
20: we sort of do and we sort of don’t? we like the idea of it, of instant connection, but we also think it’s beautiful to build that connection and love together over time and to befriend each other before you realise a couple of months later that you’re head over heels and can’t imagine life without him
21: absolutely! we’re in love right now, and have been for nearly 3 years :] it’s worth it
22: we like both! but we love when he sits in our lap because we like to show off that WE got lucky enough for that a little :] he doesn’t know that though! sometimes it’s nice to sit in his lap and be held and shown off a little ourselves though
23: metal, we have matching metal bracelets
24: it’s hard to pick just one? but the first time he called us his husband is up there, or yesterday morning when we woke up all curled up against him and got to clean his flat together in the most purely domestic way possible :] sadly our memory isn’t the best, but we have many good memories with our husband
25: to the left usually!
26: we like the idea of keeping the most interesting last name, which (we’re sorry baby) is ours, and ours is already hyphenated so can’t be hyphenated again, so we’d probably stick with our own and let him stick with his if he’d like to :] we don’t need to share last names to show we’re married, our love shows it enough
27: we’re really awkward around kids, so sadly for us they’re off the table, and we worry that we aren’t mentally there enough to have a kid and look after them the way they need to be to have a stable life
28: we do! we hold hands with our left hand, we’re the hand on top and we interlock hands
29: hmmm, i don’t know? i’ll ask our boyfriend which ones make us blush the most
30: waking up next to him, because all the sleepy kisses and his clinginess are to die for :]
31: our exes /hj
32: watching our boyfriend do really domestic things honestly? something about it flusters us
33: coffee shop!
34: we’re usually big spoon, which is brilliant because we leave kisses all over our boy’s back and shoulders and it’s soft and sweet :] however sometimes we really crave to be little spoon and be held and kept safe from the world, we’re just too shy to ask
35: how pretty a boy’s hair is
36: yes we would!!! we need to get a vase but we would adore it!!!
37: the subtle ones are cute as hell :]
38: yes!! we asked our husband out, still amazed about it
39: his confidence, he gets the most beautiful grin ever and his eyes get all sparkly and he hugs us really tight
40: BITE by troye sivan, we know it’s sadder but it’s beautiful
mlm asks!
I never see these so I decided to make one lol~
Do you like resting your head in a boys lap, or on his shoulder?
Sweaters or hoodies?
Netflix or clubbing on a Friday night?
Denim or leather jackets?
What’s your favorite thing about boys?
How do you like your tea?
How do you like your coffee?
Favorite fall color?
Can you drive?
Do you have a crush?
What’s your favorite sport?
Are you a pastel, neon, or neutral color mlm?
Do you wear makeup?
Do you like boys taller or shorter than you?
Do you prefer hand kisses, or nose kisses?
What’s your favorite cologne smell?
Ideal date?
What’s more romantic: cabin getaway, or tropical vacation?
What’s your favorite mlm movie?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Have you ever been in love?
Do you like sitting in a boys lap, or do you prefer when a boy sits in yours?
Metal or cloth bracelets?
What’s one of your favorite memories of being in love?
Do you tilt your head to the left or right when you kiss?
Would you like to take his last name when you marry?
Do you want kids?
Do you interlock fingers when you hold hands?
What’s a compliment you’d love to receive from a boy?
What’s better, waking up to him in the morning, or falling asleep next to him at night?
Any turn offs?
What makes you blush?
Coffee shop or dog park date?
Big spoon or little spoon?
What first catches your eye?
Would you enjoy it if he bought you flowers?
Do you think matching couple outfits are cute or cheesy?
Have you ever asked a boy out?
Which is cuter, him being confident, or shy?
What’s one of your fave love songs?
#ask game#mlm ask#mlm#mlm positivity#mlm asks#mlm romance#mlm sfw#ftm t4t#t4t mlm#mortuary system answers#mortuary system
32K notes
·
View notes
Text
I've never been more heartbroken in my life.
I was gobsmacked in 2016, don't get me wrong. I was devastated and frightened and shaken beyond words. I even had to go behind a wall and collect myself at one point that horrible November 9th, 2016, after colliding with a man wearing a red MAGA hat at work. A good chunk of us at work talked amongst ourselves about it, offering each other comfort.
But this? This is different. I could imagine dumb people making excuses for voting for Trump in 2016 -- saying that they thought a businessman would be good for the economy, saying that they wanted someone who wasn't a "Washington insider" like Hilary Clinton. Sure, it was stupid, but people can be stupid. Quite frankly, a lot of people are stupid, in this country and otherwise.
But now? Anyone who voted for Trump now has voted for a man who not only rounded up immigrants and put them in concentration camps separated from their families; bungled the response to COVID-19 so badly that the American death toll easily surpassed every other country on Earth; has poisoned the Supreme Court to the extent that they overturned years of precedence with Roe V. Wade and has basically given Trump cart-blanche to do whatever he wants while he's president; was the first president in history to refuse to concede on election day; was impeached for crimes in office not once but TWICE; was instrumental to and passionately supportive of the full-on attempted coup at the U.S. capitol on January 6, 2021 that could've very easily resulted in the deaths of his own Vice President and multiple members of Congress; has spoken glowingly of despots like Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un and even said he will be "a dictator on day one" if elected again; has both used slogans originally used by modern American Neo-Nazis ("America First") and purportedly told one of his ex-subordinates that he wanted generals like Adolf Hitler's...but also has by the day proven more and more just how mentally inept, vindictive, and mean-spirited he truly is.
And unlike in his previous races, Trump is ahead in the popular vote too. We can't just blame this on the electoral college being antiquated and gerrymandered AF like in the Trump-Clinton or Bush-Gore elections. Even if all of the third-party voters in this country had grown a bloody brain cell and voted for Harris so as to show solidarity against Trump and his form of American fascism, it still somehow wouldn't be enough. We could potentially blame this on lower voter turn-out -- according to what I'm seeing so far, even with all the votes not counted in this race yet, it looks like there were far less votes cast this election than in the last one, though likely still more than the 2016 race. But even so, I don't think that's the only problem. I truly think there were just a lot of people who turned out en-masse to vote for Trump. And all I can think in regards to those people is...
This is beyond stupidity or even selfishness. This is cruelty. This is large swaths of people deciding that they want fellow American citizens to suffer -- because in their minds, if those people suffer, that'll somehow make them happy. This is a large chunk of America saying, "yeah, you know all that crap about 'liberty and justice for all'? Screw that, I want a 'strong man' to bully people different from me for my own amusement." And -- perhaps -- there's also an element of feeling like their vote doesn't really have any consequences for them, so why should they care if the man they voted for is a god-awful person? It's not like that man will hurt them.
I had hoped. I had hoped, seeing the outpouring of support from liberals, independents, and conservatives for Harris/Walz. I'd hoped, seeing how many ex-Trump appointees were standing up against him, how much people were shouting their disdain for Project 2025 from the rooftops, and how many women were protesting in the face of Roe V. Wade being overturned. I truly had started to hope that America would prove we'd grown beyond our country's own original sin -- how our United States preached freedom for all while still being built on the backs of slaves and refusing to grant a vote to over half their population -- by electing a smart, successful, charismatic woman of color who sees our country as great in potential and wants us to pursue that potential as our first female president, rather than backtracking all the slow progress we've made over the last 200+ years.
But now...my hope has faded. My heart is in pieces and the world is so dark. I hardly know how I'll function at work tomorrow, even if I know somehow, I have to try. We'll all have to stand somehow. Somehow, someway...we'll have to find the strength. We'll have to stand, and we'll have to keep moving forward, even when it feels like we're a Little Mermaid walking on knives.
We'll have to stand.
131 notes
·
View notes
Text
tit summary/thoughts/spoilers under the cut!! <3
hiii wanted to make one of these just so I can ramble about everything bc what a crazy night LMAOO gonna make another post about the day so this is just about the show
my soul left my body when the lights went dark omfg, that is literally one of my favourite parts about concerts/live shows. the smoke and lights was a lot but the second they came out it’s like everything cleared up, i loveee how they come out with their backs to us and then the happy silly music when they’re running around saying hi hehehehe
the whole intro/beginning part was so fun i just loved the bits when they were just talking to us, canada love, the history of dnp/why we're all here etc etc. the dolls/diorama is such a fun little phistory recap, though i will say it was not as wild as i was maybe expecting or what they've done on other nights lol. they "wrestled" in the first one, nothing in the manchester apartment, "kissed" (69-ed lol) in the london one and that was it but they were all SO well made (shoutout pj and sophie), i loved phil's hoodie for the 2 apartment era hehe
role model or no-le model: very fun section, i wish i could tell you all the fill in the blanks we did but i can't remember for the life of me lol i shouted yaoi so loud for all of the lawyer dan ones but alas :( but i do remember lawyer dan writes erotica about timbits, then when the side by sides came up on the screens after it had been changed to "Phim Phbits" which made them both genuinely laugh it was so sweetie. we killed regular dan and doctor phil
phanspiracies were: toilet, clothes, tour bus and wedding. honestly very solid picks, it was so surreal seeing those "phan proof" comps of them wearing the same clothes on the screen down to the zoomed in picture of the underwear from the christmas cookies video 😭 the tour bus clip will never not be crazy but it was SO funny bc we cheered so loudly after phil said it was true that they shared the bed and dan was judging us but all i could think about is the stunned silence from phantwerp day one, i will never forget listening to that live and it's probably been so entertaining for them to see the shift from that lmao. the wedding edits were so funny dan was like "i know you had that as your desktop background for 6 years" and someone behind me was like "YES I DID", dan's little kick and cheeky smile at "i'm just opposed to anything traditional" ok sure
i can't remember which section this was during it was something to do with discussing a past era but phil said "maybe I was just horny" and i screamed lmao
the boxing segment ajdjkskjsf i have been waiting for it my entire goddamn life tbh and it was so fun. no one told me about the visuals on the screen ok why do they look so GOOD in them?? i wasn't actually expecting them to knock each other out or anything but it did seem a tinyy bit tamed down from what i've seen before, like they were being very gentle with each other lol but it was cute, the bite was still bite-y and the run around the theatre was craaaazy, the camera following them is so good lol
they yapped for moose. meese. meeses for a minute straight and i forgot it was supposed to be a bit it was so natural they're good at it whether they like it or not
oh yeah that's the other thing. they are fucking INCREDIBLE performers. like, they are so good at what they do and it was one of the highlights of my life getting to experience it irl. the show is incredibly well paced, the script is funny, the audience participation makes it but it's so insane to see how well they work together. the comfort and familiarity after so many years plays a huge part (there was a solid like 7 shoulder touches btw) but their dynamic is soooo good, they play off of each other so well. literally everything @cheekyvank described to me about dan as a performer is true. he was ALWAYS moving, he moves his mouth and bends and grooves and does the absolute most but it's soooo natural, like he has so much fun doing it. that man is a theatre kid all grown up and it's incredibly endearing but he's also a master, like he was MADE to be on a stage, he's so fucking good at balancing between roasting and teasing us and pointing out at people and winking and he called out someone filming without actually saying anything and it was so smooth and lowkey hot but also like jesus i didn't even risk TRYING to take a picture i am sooooooo scared of him. also thanks to you @jonsaremembers i was looking forward to the 4 g's all night, i am their geeky girlie forever and ever 🫶
and phil. oh my sweet precious baby angel. my heart was burstingggg with phil love all night. he is so, so so so good literally everything right with this world tbh. you can tell he has SO much fun on the stage as well, there's moments where his smile softens or he just looks out onto the audience and i want to shower him with love and affection (and we did! i honestly think one of the loudest screams was for "normal phil" during role model hehe). he is so effortlessly funny, the silly little run over to the microphone every time for the "hiatus" was one of my favourite bits of the show. i absolutely loved his getting real with us bit, it reminded me so much of his youtube videos- and i hope he knows how powerful and meaningful that "light entertainment" is for us. his voice was soooo soft and gentle it was like we were his children he was talking to which i guess we kind of are in this context. i love him forever and ever
sister daniel. INCREDIBLE follow up. i knew it was coming and nothing prepared me for Her. another part of the set design/production that is so well done, the visuals and the bass dropping when she comes out is SOOO fucking good. i have never screamed so loudly in my life. i would do anything she asked me to. the underwear were so fucking short i could not see a THINGGG like. fucking hell. lots of pulling the dress down and legs crossed/staying sat the whole time though lol which fair but the confessions and water spraying was fun, it will never not be funny when dan shames people for opening their mouths after they say it's sister daniel's bath water lmfaooo
the SONG!!!!!!!! the most fun. in the entire world. it's so good it's so fun. the lyrics, them going FULL boy band mode, the hands folding over and doob grab was infinitely more devastating irl. dan is so fucking good at the dance i love you forever terminal theatre kid and i think phil has reached the peak of how well he can do it and i want to give him his flowers for trying his damn best every time you keep doing you baby. the part where it kinda slows down and they're just doing the geekiest moves ever like those are my BABIESSS dfjksajdks standing up to rave with dnp in a room full of phannies was the highlight of my entire fucking life.
this was SO much longer than i anticipated and i'm probably still gonna go on about things as i remember it but it was genuinely the most fun and memorable night of my life. i love these two silly little guys so much, it was so surreal seeing them in person after over a decade and i would do anything to experience it again but i'm so, so grateful i got to do it once and i will cherish the memories forever. and this has only made me more insane about them and cemented the fact that i wholeheartedly believe they love us, this new era, and that they're not going away anytime soon so i WILL see you guys back on the internet and hopefully outside of it one day again too <3
(i lied here’s the one picture I took aka far from dan’s prying eyes during the part where they’re not there being gay getting out of their clothes)
#dnp#dan and phil#phan#tit tour#titspoilers#tit spoilers#terrible influence tour#titronto#titblossoms#my show
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
Around the World Part 6
Hello! And welcome to another chapter of this very underrated fic. Thank you to everyone who has given it love in the way of comments, reblogs/tags, and likes.
It's London calling! And we meet a Murray Bauman in the wild. Eddie and Steve get a little introspective and Steve does something rash.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
~
Their trip through the haunting and beautiful Ireland was amazing. So many tales and history. This is why Steve wanted to do more than just America like Eddie had originally wanted, because America just didn’t have the history Europe and other places did. Not unless you wanted to disturb actual First Nation people and that was something he wanted to avoid at all cost, thank you.
They were on the ferry from Northern Ireland to Scotland and Steve was looking out over his shoulder at the water as he leaned against the guardrail. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, allowing the wind to blow through his hair.
Eddie slid his arm around him and Steve laid his head on his shoulder.
Today Eddie had his beard and faux-dreadlocks in a light blue button up shirt and cream colored wide-legged pants. His chunky sunglasses covered the his face.
“You know,” Eddie murmured, “until we reached this leg of our journey and you started to disguise me, I didn’t realize how much I missed just being Eddie Munson, regular guy. I can really see the appeal of you and friends’ way of doing it.”
“Yeah,” Steve said softly. “Of course it means that we can’t go all out and buy everything we want, stay in fancy hotels, show up at restaurants without a reservation and get in. But I can go into my local grocery store and buy two tubs of mint ice cream because I felt like it.” He lifted his head to look Eddie in the eye. “Like some Karen would judge me, but it’s not going to go up on TMZ that I’m letting myself go.”
God, Eddie had had that happen more times than he cared to count. Like once Chrissy was on her period and he went to go get her chocolate, Ben and Jerry’s, and pads. Before he even got to his car it was all over the internet that he was letting himself go, just because it was 2am and his best friend needed something to help her feel better.
“You think you’ll ever come out?” he asked, pulling Steve in closer.
It was a familiar and well-worn topic of theirs; whether or not Steve would ever come out as bisexual at least.
He ducked his head and looked away. He didn’t know. He didn’t like hiding parts of himself for those he loved. He would like to tell people this is the love of my life.
“Would you leave me if I said no?” he mumbled, not daring to look up.
Eddie placed his finger under Steve’s chin and lifted his head gently. “Of course not, Stevie. There are literal actors who have been married for years and no one knows. It’s just between them. We could do that too. Just a quiet ceremony, Robin and Chrissy as the witnesses, and a justice of the peace.”
Steve let out a weak sort of watery laugh and shook his head. “I want all our friends there, famous and otherwise. I want a full tilt party with music playing into the early hours of the morning. I want fancy tuxes and flowers galore. I know I might not get that, the absolute coward that I am. But if I marry you, it be to scream from the rooftops that I love you.”
Eddie bumped their shoulders together. “Softy.” Steve blushed. “Besides there is nothing in the world that says we can’t have it both ways. Have a quiet little ‘just us’ and then go full tilt when you come out. You don’t even have to tell anyone. Just a little comfort that I’m not going anywhere.”
Steve pressed a gentle kiss to Eddie’s cheek. “I’ll think about it.”
Eddie kissed him deeply and then tucked his head under his chin and they stayed like that until the ferry docked in Scotland.
~
God, Scotland and England were beautiful countries Eddie decided as he watched the rolling green hills from his train window. That was another thing he really liked about Europe in general, just all the different ways to travel that weren’t a car.
He looked over at Steve who had his glasses on and reading a book. He smiled at the title. His boyfriend wasn’t a fantasy fan or science fiction either, really, but put a clever mystery in his hands and you would have to pry to the book from his cold, dead fingers.
He glanced over at Chrissy and Robin who were playing Go Fish! They had asked him if he wanted to join them, but he passed. He rarely got time to just relax and watch the scenery go by when he was on tour. He was always doing something related to the band. Writing music, practicing, talking about the next venue, interview, or TV spot.
Him and his friends had fun, because of course they did. But it was nice to just let his mind wander. Currently he was sad that they were going to have to miss Wales this time. He really wanted to buy some Welsh gold jewelry. It’s super rare and absolutely gorgeous.
Maybe he would have to come back later and get something special for Steve. Just something simple like matching bands even if it wasn’t on the left hand. Or necklaces. Just something simple to prove they were it for each other.
“I made an appointment with a well-known tattoo artist in London,” Steve said nonchalant, but like he was reading Eddie’s thoughts.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to Steve. Robin nearly giving herself whiplash in her speed.
“As your friend, manager, and platonic soulmate,” she said darkly, “I advise against that. You can cover it up but someone, somewhere will see it.”
Steve looked up from his book and leveled her with his best bitchy glare. “Not if it’s on my ass.”
Chrissy and Eddie’s eyebrows shot up and they shared a shocked glance. Eddie always loved tattoos, he had a couple of stick and poke style ones from when he was young and stupid and couldn’t afford to pay for an artist to do the job, but there was one place, well technically two if you included his dick, which he absolutely did, that he refused to get a tattoo on and that was his ass. Not being able to sit down properly for what would probably be weeks was not his idea of a good time.
“Not really, though, right?” Chrissy asked with a grimace.
Steve took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Of course not really. Sheesh, you guys. But I hid fucking hickies from the both of you for a year and you never noticed, so I’m pretty sure I can hide one fucking tattoo.”
Robin and Chrissy shared their little ‘manager’ glance and Chrissy folded first.
“You’re right, Steve,” she said calmly. “Not once did you forget or slip up and you should be applauded for that. But is there a reason you’re deciding to get a tattoo now instead of waiting until we’re back in the States and you can use Eddie’s personal artist?”
He looked over at Robin and their little telepathy thing went off again and this time Robin folded first.
“It’s for Eddie,” she murmured. “They can’t be out as a couple and with Steve being the romantic that he is, wouldn’t want to get married without all his friends there, so this is his way of telling Eddie he isn’t going anywhere either.”
Eddie blinked for a moment. “Do you think they take walk-ins?”
“I booked it for both of us.” Steve smiled at him and took his hand. Eddie beamed back at him.
“They are so disgustingly cute,” Robin huffed, crossing her arms. “I bet Steve has this really sweet idea for a tattoo that even if people do notice it they won’t be able to tell the meaning but he and Eddie will know and be so sickeningly precious about it.”
Eddie gave him a huge kiss on the cheek. “I love my super clever boyfriend and can’t wait to see what this brilliant plan is.”
~
Steve’s brilliant plan was half of a white mask on Eddie’s inner wrist and half of guitar on Steve’s and when they held hands it formed almost heart.
The tattoo artist was really impressed with the idea and was more than happy to implement it. Steve walked out of there, completely smug as Chrissy pointed out. Deservedly so.
They were to stay in London for three days because of all the haunted places in London alone, there were so many worth visiting. They were going to start at Jack the Ripper tour and move onto the tour of London.
The tour they learned with deep dismay had accidentally been scheduled at 2pm and not 2am like Eddie had thought it said. It was so boring and their tour guide so dull, Eddie accidentally tripped of one of those concrete pillars they had in the middle of the sidewalk to prevent cars from driving up on it.
“Oof!” Eddie wheezed as he straightened up. “Why do they even put those things here?”
“Chrissy Cunningham,” a nasally voice said from behind them. “What are you doing in my neck of the woods?”
They all turned slowly to see a weaselly little bald man with thick horn-rimmed glass.
“Holy shit,” Chrissy said slowly. “Murray Bauman, as I live and breath. What the hell are you doing in London?”
He shrugged. “Eking out a living doing tours for bored tourists. When the biggest metal band in the world drops you, so does everyone else.”
Chrissy and Eddie shared a grimace. Corroded Coffin had deliberately did that to Nancy after the shit she pulled with Steve and trying to be The Fallen’s agent. But this one was a complete accident.
“Oh fuck off,” Robin said with a grin. “You love it. I can tell. You have actual notes written down, you have a map marked with all the spots the murders take place. I bet you have all the great stories.”
Murray flushed and cocked his head to the side. “I mean I didn’t want to brag. But yeah, certainly better than Molly over there.” He jutted his thumb at their tour guide. “Most of the good ones are from tour companies and then you get people like Molly who make it look legit online and trick people into taking day tours.”
“God, I was so bored,” Eddie huffed, shoving his hands into his pockets, “I felt jet lagged.”
Murray’s eyes instantly narrowed and cocked his head to the side and instantly everyone else tensed up. He took in their reactions and mimed zipping his mouth shut.
“I’ll tell you what,” he said, “if you’re still in town tomorrow, meet me here at 9pm and I’ll give you a proper tour.”
Chrissy licked her lips slowly. “Or what?”
“Huh?” He was confused for a moment before he smacked his forehead. “Oh! No, no. I’m not going to blackmail you. Holy shit. If people want to enjoy a vacation without all the publicity, good on them.” He looked Eddie up and down. “Looks good on you kid.”
Eddie was suddenly glad for the large sunglasses and beard because it hid the blush on his cheeks.
“No, I’m just saying,” Murray continued, “that if you wanted to experience a proper Jack the Ripper tour, I’m willing to do it. I don’t have a tour currently booked and beside I like her.” He pointed at Robin, who grinned back him.
The four them all shared glances at each other.
“I’m down,” Steve said with a shrug. “If you’re as good as you say you are and aren’t trying to actively ‘get back’ at Chrissy for taking your job, I know I’d be interested in seeing what Whitechapel has to offer after dark.”
“I like him too,” Murray said brightly, rubbing his hands together. “So what do the rest of you say?”
“Aye, aye, Captain!” Steve’s three menaces said together.
He just smiled fondly and shook his head.
~
Tag List: CLOSED
1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog
2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence
3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @blondie1006
4- @yikes-a-bee @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten
5- @genderless-spoon @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt
6- @disrespectedgoatman @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @garden-of-gay
7- @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars
8- @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33 @child-of-cthulhu @kultiras @dreamercec
9- @machete-inventory-manager @useless-nb-bisexual @stripey82 @dotdot-wierdlife @kal-ology
10- @sadisticaltarts @urkadop @chameleonhair @clockworkballerina
#my writing#stranger things#steddie#ladykailtiha writes#rockstar eddie munson#rockstar steve harrington#rockstar au
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
1. Life-size Walmart skeleton named Jeffrey
2. I like how tall I am, I'm 5'9
3. Red
4. Video game glitches kind of freak me out
5. Yes
6. Yes
7. Playground
8. Human interaction
9. Sharing my interests, good morning good night texts
10. Not terribly often, from time to time
11. To not live in the south, and change how I look
12. Either German, or Afrikaan
13. Somewhere up north, colder just anywhere that isn't Texas
14. Hyper fixations on firearms and medieval combat
15. Last night
16. Like 2 years ago but I didn't use the account, joint back like a month or two ago
17. I don't know, I don't think so
18. One that stuck to me recently was a nightmare, not describing that
19. I have no idea, maybe something to do with coding
20. Just spending the day together, go somewhere go home
21. Two things, take care of myself better, communicate better
22. Canada
23. Online friends, and one very specific person >:3
24. Uhh no not really
25. Halloween
26. Forgetting basic information, getting complimented a lot
27. I was always the grim reaper
28. I'd like to think I'm good at writing
29. Yes
30. Yep got a brother
31. How I'm doing
32. Arrogant, or has cheated
33. CODING
34. 2
35. When I take showers
36. Yes, about boys, and other stuff
37. My room ig
38. Dad
39. Don't be like my ex
40. Hiiiiis (he knows who he is >;3)
41. "We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty"
42. Show people my writing, just not confident in it yet
43. Got with him
44. Not particularly no
45. Movie, just because I watch movies more than I read books
46. Fall
47. Early morning
48. I used to when I was a kid
49. Certain arguments
50. I can't really think of something (I haven't bought a lot of stuff)
51. Yes
52. Galaxy edge (more of a book series)
53. As of right now, my mom
54. People should be able to play games the way they want to
55. Titanfall 2 / rdr2
56. During a tornado around 3 years ago
57. Not really
58. Hell no, need to drink more
59. Well one, I know I'm gay now, and child me was a lot more ecstatic about stuff
60. Yes, I love it here
61. Not really
62. TF2, just can't get into it
63. Yes
64. By becoming a blushing pile of goop
65. Being themselves around me, compliments, and sharing their interests
66. Yes
67. YES
68. Yes
69. No
70. Uhhh, I don't really have one
71. "the night we met" by Lord Huron
72. Noooooo
73. No, not on purpose
74. Badly, lol
75. Yes, it's a nervous fidget for me
76. Nope
77. 4 dogs, 1 cat
78. Blue
79. how I look rn
80. Small one, to remove a rock from my ear when I was young lol
81. Angler fish
82. Explaining myself
83. Nope
84. Yes
85. Yep
86. 12th
87. Occasionally a steel ring from my brother
88. Discord Tumblr and Twitter
89. Uhh a 91.7
90. like 2 days straight
91. uh no
92. The ones that cause harm
93. HOODIE
94. Who doesn't?
95. It exists and it's natural, it's a normal thing
96. The corner of my bed that's as sharp as a spear
97. ? Uh no
98. I have it on 12-hour, but I need to relearn 24-hour from my coding class
99. Yep, hate it almost every time
100. Yes, I am very gay :3
(technically bi, but it's not an important distinction for me)
ask game
1. whats your favorite thing in your room?
2. how tall do you wish you were?
3. what color is your hair?
4. whats a rare fear that you have?
5. are you single?
6. has your heart ever been broken?
7. what was your favorite thing as a kid?
8. favorite coping mechanism?
9. whats your favorite love language?
10. how often do you get nervous?
11. if you had three wishes, would you use them?
12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be?
13. where do you wish to live?
14. what’s something surprising about you?
15. when did you last shower?
16. when did you first join tumblr?
17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?
18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?
19. whats your dream job?
20. whats your ideal date?
21. what do you wish you could do better?
22. what country would you live in if you could?
23. whos the best person you know?
24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have?
25. whats your favorite holiday?
26. when have you been most embarrassed?
27. whats your favorite halloween costume?
28. what are you best at?
29. do you know how to tie your shoes?
30. do you have siblings?
31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know?
32. whats a dealbreaker for you?
33. whats your favorite current class?
34. how many people have you dated?
35. how often do you wash your hair?
36. do you daydream? what about?
37. where do you go to be alone?
38. which parent do you like more?
39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to?
40. whos voice do you enjoy?
41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?
42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet?
43. what do you wish you never did?
44. do you believe in life after death?
45. do you prefer book over movie?
46. whats your favorite season?
47. whats your favorite time of day
48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal?
49. whens a time you wish you acted differently?
50. what’s something you wish that you never bought?
51. do you have your own room?
52. whats your favorite book?
53. who’s someone you hate?
54. whats your best hottake?
55. whats your favorite game?
56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear?
57. are you a morning person?
58. do you drink enough water?
59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be?
60. do you enjoy tumblr?
61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?
62. whats your least favorite game?
63. were you a markiplier fan?
64. how do you respond to compliments?
65. whats something that would make you fall in love?
66. do you believe in marriage?
67. do you have a crush on someone?
68. do you like tumblr?
69. were you a voltron stan?
70. whats your favorite ship?
71. whats your favorite song?
72. do you like loud crowds?
73. have you ever created conflict on purpose?
74. how do you sleep?
75. do you bite your lips?
76. do you use chapstick?
77. do you have any pets?
78. what color are your eyes?
79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself?
80. have you ever had surgery?
81. whats your least favorite animal?
82. whats something that youre really bad at?
83. do you have an sqishmellows?
84. do you enjoy fast food?
85. do you like soda?
86. what grade are you in?
87. do you wear any jewelry?
88. what socials do you use?
89. whats your lowest grade in school right now?
90. whats the latest youve stayed up till?
91. did you ever have bangs?
92. what trends did you hate?
93. whats your favorite item of clothing?
94. do you like dinosaurs?
95. whats your opinion on body hair?
96. whats your least favorite time?
97. do you make a wish at 11:11?
98. do you have your phone on military or regular?
99. have you ever been to church?
100. are you lgbtq?
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi hello! do you have any alien stage fic recs??
i most definitely do!!!
I've only read ivantill until now (cus the brainrot is real) so that's what I'll share here but once I'm done scouring the mizisua tag, I'll definitely return!
links below the cut <3
from ashes by petitfives
vampire till and vampire ivan. ivan is deranged and till suffers per usual. rating: explicit
"This is the face of the dog who has killed so many of my fledglings,” Urak says, snapping Till out of his reverie. “Remember it. It might be the last thing you see.” Till has never liked Ivan more than he does right now. Good, he thinks, as viciously as he can. He doesn’t think his prayers carry any weight, but he stares hard at the saint wearing Ivan’s face and hopes Ivan puts a stake through Urak’s unbeating heart. Or, Till gets turned by a vampire, and Ivan is a vampire hunter.
the silhouette in my peripherals by Anonymous
till in the aftermath of r6. rating: explicit
Ivan is gone, but he is still there. Or: how to haunt a person.
till death do us part (so why are you before me again?) by Aminori
ivan and till reuniting in the afterlife. <3 rating: teen
When Ivan had held his beloved’s throat, felt the pulse of life as his own ended, he had expected to not see Till again. … He had expected Till to live on. Had selfishly wanted it, in fact. But here his beloved was, in his arms, in a place that they were never meant to be reunited in.
And he wasn’t quite sure what to feel, anymore.
(or: Ivan dies. He didn’t expect to see Till again, but he did.)
break a heart, stitch it right back by yamscooper
till being jealous. rating: teen
If Ivan wants to laugh and giggle and twirl his hair at some girl Till has never met before, that’s none of Till’s fucking business. “I don’t think Ivan’s hair is long enough to twirl,” Mizi says. “It’s a figure of speech,” Till bites out.
a certain ivantill fan's origin story by gustavo
somehow luka becomes the #1 ivantill fan. rating: teen
Over the course of his preparation for the much-anticipated Final Round of the hit dystopian drama, Alien Stage, Luka discovers that he might be a lot more invested in his best friend’s love life than he’d expected himself to be. or: the fic where luka somehow becomes an ivantill truther.
breathe again in the world anew by aerivel
more ivantill reunions after r7. rating: teen
Till and Ivan reunite one more time. - “I can’t say I’m not disappointed.” The sound of a deep, gentle voice cutting through the air startles Till enough to bang his head against the tree behind him. Wincing slightly, he sits up and jerks his head to the slowly approaching man in white. “I thought you would win after all,” the man continues, slowing until he stood a few feet away. The man’s attention is stolen by the fluttering of a crimson flower inches away from his foot. Absently, he shifts his shoe and crushes the petals beneath him. It’s enough to spark something within Till. Ivan. It’s Ivan.
your shadow on the wall of my room by ephemeroptera_insecta
ghost ivan haunts till. rating: teen
Till won Round 6. He had his first kiss. He’s one step closer to winning. He’s also, notably, now being haunted. Or : Ivan comes back as a ghost. Till realizes what Ivan has done for him, and the feelings he buried for him out of fear. They navigate life (and death) as a man and his ghost.
what we’re allowed to do to each other’s faces by fakekniferealketchup
ivan lives and till escapes. rating: teen
When Ivan had died, the lens through which Till saw the world had fractured, rearranged, and stuck that way, like a broken bone that wasn’t set. A bleeding kaleidoscope of the past. A dozen years of memories clamored for fresh attention, to be reexamined, to be cut open so they could show off all the terrible wriggling things that had wormed around inside them and eaten them hollow. He couldn’t think of the garden, anymore; only of how stupid he had been. — - — Ivan lives; Till escapes the arena. There's no elegance in their reunion, but there is spit, and blood, and something close to forgiveness.
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Urgent Help !!
Please don't skip , and take a moments to read 💛
Hello , my name is Muhammad Al-Madhoun. I am 35 years old. I live in occupied Palestine, specifically the city of Gaza (North Gaza), which I love, and which has been subjected to criminal war and genocide since October 7, 2024, in front of the eyes of peoples, governments, international humanitarian institutions, and the entire world, and without them doing anything.
I have two children, Ziad, 5 years old, and his sister Mirna, one and a half years old. We were living a good life before the current war in the Gaza Strip. After the war, my children, like the rest of the children in Gaza, lived a poor life in a shelter containing more than 300 people. My two children were exposed several times to various viral infections due to the inappropriate life, the large mixing between the displaced people in the shelter, and moving between different shelters more than once.
The photos below show me with my children Ziad and Mirna before the genocide.
- Since the beginning of the genocidal war, I have lost my only source of income until now, as I have been working in the legal profession as a "lawyer" since 2016-2017, and it seems that I have stopped practicing this profession since the beginning of the genocidal war on Gaza City, as a result of the complete destruction of my law office and the workplaces associated with this profession, such as courts, ministries and commercial companies. I have lost my profession completely or partially for many years as a result of what the devastating war on Gaza has caused.
The picture below show me in my low office before the war genocide
Since the beginning of the genocide in the Gaza Strip and for more than a year of complete loss of income, due to the scarcity of basic goods and the increase in prices of many of them by nearly 20 times, and due to the repeated displacement of nearly 6 times and moving from one place to another, all the money I had was depleted. Now, for many months, I have been completely dependent on what I get through my campaign on the Gofundme.
I am now displaced for the sixth time to the Khan Younis (Al-Mawasi) area. I live with my family and our belongings in a room inside a shelter that does not exceed 12 square meters. Living in a shelter is indescribably difficult in all aspects. We face many problems every day due to the high prices and scarcity of basic materials such as food and cleaning materials, which has led to us bearing very high daily expenses in light of the loss of my source of income.
The picture below shows the room i live in it with my family.
The picture below shows my little daughter mirna helps me filling water
In the preparation of food, we often rely on some canned food that arrives to Gaza from outside, in addition to some grains such as lentils and rice, which are available in a scarce way in Gaza.
Obtaining vegetables has become a very difficult task, due to its scarcity and scarcity of some of them, and their prices have risen about 40 times or more, as a result of the absence of any land farming operations since 5 months since the beginning of the war in Gaza, with an almost complete lack of all kinds of fruits, because they did not enter through aid. or crossings.
My children are exposed almost weekly and continuously to infections and diseases as a result of the spread of various viruses, and these infections are accompanied by many worrying symptoms such as high temperature and persistent cough.
During this genocidal war which is still going on to this day and more, my house was severely damaged which resulted in the destruction and vandalism of the roof, walls, tiles, decorations, doors of the house, etc. It also caused almost complete destruction and loss of most of the contents of the house especially the furniture, wooden doors of the rooms, all the windows, electrical appliances, children's toys and everything in my house.
It also displays my law firm, which is the only source of income for destruction and destruction, including the contents, furniture, electrical appliances, laptops, important files and documents , etc. in addition to the complete destruction of most of the headquarters related to my work, such as the courts. And the public prosecutions, burning them, and destroying all their documents, which exposes me to a high probability of losing any financial income through the legal profession for a period of up to 3-4 years or more.
Here are some pictures of them in our partially destroyed house
I need the support of friends abroad to help me buy daily supplies and needs such as food, clothes, cleaning materials, cooking gas, etc., in addition to rebuilding and repairing some of the partial damage to my home when the war ends and I return to my home in northern Gaza, in addition to buying what I lost, whether in my home or the law office, and buying the necessary home furniture and electrical appliances, and to be able to find an amount of money that will help me continue my daily life as I lived before the war, or enable me to travel outside Gaza, or enable me to establish a suitable small project, or any other work through which I can provide a good financial income after I lost my profession for many years to come, which may be very long due to the destruction that has affected all aspects of life in the Gaza Strip.
#palestinian lives matter#palestine resources#palestine news#support palestine#pales#i stand with palestine#free palestine#genocide jack#trans genocide#gaza genocide#gaza strip#free gaza#gaza fundraiser#gazaunderattack#gazaunderfire#gaza gofundme#news on gaza#save gaza#help gaza#stand with gaza#palestinian genocide#all eyes on palestine#save palestine#gaza#palestine gfm#gaza gaza#end the genocide#israel is committing genocide#stop the genocide#palestine genocide
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
something i promised on my kofi 6 months ago... 🫠
#sorry for people who has been asking for commission and finding me very unresponsive#literally i don't feel ready mentally ; i think the '6 months' is self-explanatory#frieren: beyond journey's end#fern#sousou no frieren#fanart#frieren at the funeral#actually it was 1.5 years ago; i was supposed to be drawing other character that time#but for 9 months i didn't manage to make myself sit down & finish it; so 6 months ago i re-asked if the person wanted other character#bcs i thought i need to re-start fresh & maybe the person's interest had changed#ko fi#when drawing for money sometimes u sit down & just stop 'working' entirely ; like ur will goes blue screen & refuse to do it#because it's / work / and u have to be more meticulous ; it gives u all the extra pressure#tho i like to have the money again.... but i'll start studying again soon; and i'll need to do my best on this one i think#drawing has always been a distraction on my study so maybe it is a good thing if my drawing drive dies down for a good while#tho not drawing at all also stress me out; finger crossed for good life balance#I CAN'T BELIEVE POPULAR TAG SHOWING THAT PEOPLE ALSO KNOW IT AS 'FRIEREN AT THE FUNERAL'. THAT SOUNDS WAY TOOOO DEPRESSINGGGG.....😭😭😭😭
275 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think it's time I change my bio to say it's been 11 years since I started to watch Ninjago.....
Gosh. Where's my senior discount on the lego sets, huh?
#I actually don't remember exactly when I picked up ninjago. I just know that it was april or may cause it was nearing the end of-#the school year#anyway this show feels like it's my best friend in all honesty. it's been with me for so long and at my loneliest#and to think that I've grown up alongside it. it's so weird#I have such a clear memory of like when just about anything happened for this show#s3 finale? I was sick but I still tuned into watch and CRIED#s5? I watched nearly every episode when it aired on cartoon network in my parents room cause my dad was using our other tv at that time#s8? watched it weekly in my grandparents basement and It Was A Ride#s11 finale? got to the episode at like. 6 am before I had to go to school and felt utterly disappointed there was no kai and zane fight#seabound? watched it weekly that one spring and IT WAS ALSO A RIDE#and that's not even touching the hours upon hours of fan works I've looked at#just. it's been such a long time. over a decade of my life that I've been attached to this show. and at the same time it feels like no-#time has passed at all#I actually first watched the show cause some classmates were talking about it and I wanted to be friends with someone so bad so I started-#to watch it and I Very Quickly surpassed their love of it#what a ride huh? now we're at a point where I can look this show and say it's genuinely good (THANK YOU DRAGONS RISING!!!!!!!!!!)#ok I'm done reminiscing. time to think about the newest scenarios in which to make kai suffer >:)#ninjago#phoenix prattles
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
For fun I decided to look over all of my internet history that is still available to me to try and create the most accurate timeline of my fandoms over the years and I think this is it! I also included the platforms I was primarily using for each since that's relevant to the fandom activity I was participating in :)
There are more fandoms I have dabbled in and I might be forgetting some but these are the main eras of my fandom experiences I think.
#there was an undertale moment early on#life is strange has never been my main interest#i started around number 5 and it's always been with me on the side since#and the same thing has happened with smosh over the past year#love them but i wouldn't say im actively in the fandom#i didn't include fanfic in the platforms part#i thought i found ao3 around number 6 but it was actually 2!#number 4 was also heavily wattpad oriented#10 was a very random time i was just binge rewatching a bunch of shows with cycling obsessions#something i wasn't sure if i should add in was like my minecraft streamer era??#bc i wasn't in a fandom i was just binging content i never really interacted with anyone or made anything#i don't think consuming content counts as being in a fandom#i would say pluuno is an honourable mention#i was pretty active in her community for a few months in 2021 and it was lovely#i think that's it!#number 5 kind of bled into sims fandom in general but im still lurking there so it doesn't count lmao#would love to see mutuals timelines too if you wanna im v curious where you've all come from too
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I really hate that ever since I got the fucked up news about my eyes I've just been feeling like everyone in my life fucking hates me and doesn't want to be around me. So I'm starting to get a little quieter around other people. I guess they got what they wanted, I finally figured out how to shut the fuck up.
#The only person who seems to care that I'm going blind has been my partner#They are the only one supporting me and showing me empathy right now and show even the slightest amount of care#Even if they're grouchy#I don't count the 6 year old cuz she's 6 and doesn't understand I explained it to her but she seems to be more focused on#Showing how much she loves me in other ways and she's just too cute but yeah#Everyone else is just like 'okay... But you're not blind right now' and it's like... Yeah#I partially am blind it is actively getting worse very quickly actually#More proof that no one took me seriously before about how bad my eyes are#Ive been saying for YEARS that my eyes are going out very fast and it's scary and everyone's just like whelp that's life#Turns out no it's not I just have shit genetics! That gave me six fucking issues that no one takes seriously#I don't want to struggle anymore#Even my therapist isn't taking me seriously anymore I think she stopped caring#I'm so fucking lost
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ahhhhh i’m so fucking close to getting the IN 1cc but Reisen keeps wearing me down to where i can’t clear Kaguya but the last two runs i’ve had have made it to her final spell (i can only do about 1 or 2 runs a day cuz the malice cannon puts a lot of strain on my wrist) and in all honesty i probably shoulda beat it the last time my first 3 stages were the best they’d ever been and i sightread Keine’s Last Spell but stage 4 was p rough for me but that was my fault for streaming and talking and not paying attention. reimu’s like danmaku barrier is definitely like a top 3 spellcard for me along w okuu’s final spell because it’s just so much fun and a really cool concept i think anyways goodnight
#been making an attempt to play more touhou lately#last year i had to accept finally that i’m not gonna feel satisfied spending my video game time playing competitive multiplayer games#and so filling that gap with learning to play beyond easy mode has me feeling more satisfied#and i think it’s easier for me to limit my time playing when it’s something like touhou where i can do a full run or two#with multiplayer games i’m just never satisfied and so it’s easy to continue playing#anyways once i beat IN i think i’m gonna try for UM or SA next#it’s also fun playing IN cuz like i play reimu in every game but the malice cannon gives me a reason not to#i just like the homing shots cuz i feel like i get more rewarded for dodging#it’s kinda a marisa-esque feeling tho because i just want to do as much damage as possible#i also played melee with a friend for a while this evening and feel like my falco is coming along well#getting myself to draw daily and practice my bass regularly and learn new things#just felt more satisfied with life the last 6 months and i think it shows?#there’s still down weeks but i’m still pushing myself more than i have since covid started#i think the daily workouts i’ve been doing for the last couple years are the like core for this#self-discipline is hard but i’m getting better at it every day#it plays touhou
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
yknow sometimes i feel like. if fandom was a kindergarten playground i've been spending the past several years just sitting in a corner of the sandbox by myself making my little sand sculptures just for myself to look at and maybe there are other kids who come by to take a peek every once in a while but mostly its just me and my shitty little sand sculptures
and now suddenly i've gotten a lot better at my sand sculptures and the playground is a lot smaller and so there are people who know that im good at making sand sculptures and specifically come by to my corner of the sandbox because they like my sand sculptures and sometimes those people are teachers who walk past and give a thumbs up and tell the other kids to come look and its so. new and cool and exciting but also its so different from anything i've experienced before and im not saying thats bad its just. a lot to get used to. im still not that good at playing with the other kids and i still hate having others be around to watch me make stuff because i've never had that before and i have no idea how to.. do.. a lot of this. but it's okay. i'll learn.
#asto speaks#some thoughts ive been spinning in my head for a while because i would not trade this new community for anything in the world#its just..... im not good at Human Interaction sometimes so i have to figure some stuff out is all#for what its worth a big part of it is also that i have very very few people irl to share art related stuff with#the only people i know irl who know i draw is like... a handful of very close friends who dont.. tend? to be in the same fandoms as me#i mean its also why i love the community a lot because ive gotten more validation for my art in the past few months than the past#what 20 years of my life. 6 years of drawing#but its also like. *creation* has always been something intensely personal for me because ive gotten so used to holding anything i create#incredibly close to my chest. so to speak#which is why i dont post wips. or share a lot of my ideas both because im not much of an ideas person anyway but also like#anything i make has to be neatly wrapped up and packaged before i show it to anyone. idk#im an amoeba and anything i create is just a part of my cytoplasm until im absolutely 100% ready to wrap it up in a vacuole and export it#until then i aint showing you shit. im not giving other people access to my cytoplasm thats my whole ass innards right there
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ffs
#i keep crying every time i remember green day has a new album out in January & a tour next year that has 3 stops that are a 4-6 hours drive#I've never been to a concert (I've been to one show at a bar and it was right before cage the elephant got big)#green day is one of my all time favorite bands that I've loved for more than 20 years#just finding out last month that they had a new album coming soon made me cry lmao#but then i saw tour stops and that some stops they're with one of my partner's fave bands? i hate my life#i know. first world problems or whatever. but i would very much like to die having made at least a few good and fun memories to look back on
1 note
·
View note
Text
I keep being annoying I know but it is so so soooooo amazing to have 90% good or decent days instead of 70% bad and 30% manageable days
I can't stop talking about it bc ive never known anything else. Of course I struggle to even take care of myself when my mind has been telling me to off myself or hurt myself or just bad shit about me
Who has energy to do anything when someone you can't get rid of keeps screaming at you you're worthless?
And now... I still have bad self image ofc, I still have my asd/add and the difficulties tied to that... But. My mind is in a different place. I can focus of the things I appreciate. I see the world so... Differently. The world hasn't changed but my eyes and views on it has
#miranda talking shit#Im scared to ask people if ive changed bc it sounds scary but also im like.... I have#In the sense i can be more of my positive self. Ive always had this side... But havent had the mental energy to have it out#I cabt express this sentiment enough im sorry for spamming about it but like....#My world has been.... So bad since i was a child . Reading my diary back made me start seeing#Child me mentioning ... Wanting to die. Wishing i was dead by the age of 9-10....#And i had active bad bullying by my brothers at home til i was 6-7... The years between was me being#Constantly anxious and scared they'd go back to hurting me and then the damaged started to show?#So im not excatly exaggerating when i say i have been deppressed almost all my life. That has been my normal#I havent felt much other than fear despair self loathing etc etc so#And having been trying all sorts of antidepressants and anxiety meds since i was 15....?#Ive tried more than 10. Best effects ive had is i feel kinda numb or.... Indiffrent. Like stable but not GOOD#I had accepted that was the best i could get. There was no amazing medication for me that would work great#And then im here and it's like.... Im not numb i am still emotional as hell but its more good now#Im still me but mkre of the version of me thats good...?
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know, after thinking about things that have happened to me for the past-at least 5 years- my life is actually worse that a Kdrama female leads’.
#random#my life sucks 2022 colorized#I know kdramas are usually made up but who else on the planet suffers like I have?#nobody right?#my sister still has her job because they all like her#my brother doesn’t work and is supposedly depressed but it’s ok if he has his license before me?#my mom can’t work or drive now because some stupid doctor that wasn’t even her doctor decides mom needs her license revoked#I’ve been after my mom for 6 years to let me drive and every time I get told another excuse#like she literally told me over a year ago (maybe longer)#that she’ll kick me out if I get my permit#because that’s one step closer to living on my own#which she knows I can’t do because of personal reasons#I applied for a dumb job with more stupid fruit and I still haven’t heard back on if the time and date for the interview work with them#just call or send me an email with a yes or no already#or do they want to wait until I show up on Wednesday at 10 something and make fun of me because I don’t have an interview at all
3 notes
·
View notes