#this shit took me two months i'll kiss you gently on forehead for a comment

[dankdefrank]

Vibhava-taṇhā

Summary: Vibhava-taṇhā (craving for non-existence): one of three types of taṇhā, which is an important concept in Buddhism, referring to "thirst, desire, longing, greed", either physical or mental. It is typically translated as craving. Vibhava-taṇhā can be explained as craving to not experience unpleasant things in the current or future life, such as unpleasant people or situations. This sort of craving may include attempts at suicide and self-annihilation, and this only results in further rebirth in a worse realm of existence.

or

Surviving is a miracle - living after is a curse. Two teenagers try to help each other while picking up the pieces of themselves. Content warning: underage smoking, light blood, guns, mentions of suicide/suicide attempt, suicidal/depressed thoughts. Read also on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47493457

It starts with a feeling. Feeling almost primal, that it can even be called forgotten. She barely can believe it is still with her, as it appeared one day and has never gone away since. Running through her veins, she has realized – this so-called flight or fight response has become an inseparable part of her, whether she likes it or not. And even when her life is not endangered anymore, she can still feel it, crawling under her skin. It doesn’t leave, creating a mind of its own. She finds it ironic. After all, she knows the day she’s going to disappear, for good. It’s one of the marks that her death has left on her. Another – the fear of dying again. So she holds on to this feeling for her dear life, as she believes if she lets herself breathe, she’s going to fall apart, crumble to dust – literally. But maybe this paradox is killing her. Even if it does, she won’t admit it. Not yet. While Anne knows when her time will come, she cannot stand this lack of knowledge about the lives of others’. The war is over, she may be safe and sound, but not the others. Every day, she hugs her parents so dearly, listens to her colleagues a little bit more than it’s needed, pets her cat way too often, and finally, she finds every excuse to turn back to Sasha Waybright in her English class. But when it's been a second week in a row since she has appeared in school and answered her texts, Anne starts thinking that something is very, very wrong. Her absence is understandable, given… the circumstances. She knows that Sasha probably needs time but still, she can’t stop worrying. Maybe something wasn’t working, indeed, or they were too complicated to understand their own feelings, not speaking about the feelings of the other, but they’re still friends. At least, she believes so. 

Whatever the word for people sharing the same trauma is called. Sometimes, she thinks the events from Amphibia are the only thing that connects them and it makes her wonder – have they been friends at all? What does it mean to be friends? What’s the meaning of friendship if it ends with hurting the people that we love? She’s becoming more mature, thus she has to ask questions and eventually find the answers. It’s the part of growing up, the key to truly getting to know ourselves.

She doesn’t really control her body when she turns to Sasha’s dad’s house instead of hers on her way home from school. She lets it work on its own, coming up with an "I just wanted to keep you updated on homework and you weren’t answering" excuse. Not as if that really matters. It's a sunny, warm day. Spring is coming. The scars stay. She doesn’t feel that she's here though, as if her life was one big autonomic algorithm, but she won’t exit it. It would be unforgivable.

She passes through Sasha’s neighborhood. Although she has known her for years, she has only been in her house a few times. She has to think for a moment about whether she should turn right or left. An irritating voice in her head suggests as if that was the sign she shouldn’t go there at all. She doesn’t listen to it. Then, she sees it. After a closer look, Sasha’s dad’s house isn’t different from the rest of the building by the street. When she was younger, she’d always imagined it as an enormous, spacey villa with a beautiful garden, a crystal pool and an open driveway. It turned out she was more wrong than right – Sasha’s family could be living better than hers, but they didn’t see the point in buying a huge house for money to burn, when no one was there most of the time. Not like a smaller house would make Sasha’s loneliness more bearable. Still, the house is big enough to fit the family of five at least – when Sasha’s dad got remarried, Sasha gained two younger step-siblings. Before Amphibia, she hated their guts, calling them "annoying little shits", but after… It seems like she started tolerating them. Sometimes Anne would see her picking them up from school or even taking them to the movies. It surprised her at first, but it was heartwarming to see that Sasha was trying. Now, the house is quiet. No bikes left in the yard, no car in the garage – no living soul. She thinks so at first. Approaching, she notices the familiar silhouette sitting on the porch’s stairs, buried in the shadow. Sasha looks miserable. Her eyes seem to be more absent since their last meeting, with eye-bags bigger than before. Her short, messy hair, which definitely needs a haircut, is going in every direction. Chapped lips with bloody knuckles, one hand holding a flickering cigarette, and the pack of Marlboros sticking out from the pocket of Mr. Waybright’s old bomber jacket. Compared to this lovely weather, Sasha fills this view with her own sorrow. Anne even hesitates, as her friend doesn’t notice her appearance. But, instead, she finds her presence as the sign that now she has to reach out. "Hi," she says, standing in front of Sasha, who almost drops her cigarette. "Home alone, I see?" "Jesus Christ, Boonchuy," she lets out, "You almost gave me a heart attack." Anne laughs and decides to sit next to her. "Did your family leave?", she asks. Sasha nods. "Yeah, they went to a restaurant. I didn’t wanna go." She shudders. "Which gave you a perfect opportunity to smoke a cig." "If you want one, just say it." "I’m good." Anne declines. She decides to get to the point. "You weren’t responding to my texts." "I was sick." Sasha looks away, as if that was supposed to help her with an already bad lie. "Sasha." Anne's look pierces her. It's gentle, yet firm. "One of these days?" She doesn’t want to be too sharp, although she is, in fact, irritated – she can understand Sasha’s actions though, as her well-being is not something that she can completely control. To be honest, she lost this control the day they came back. Slowly, it started to take over and soon Anne had to admit it – Sasha was a wreck, nothing like the Sasha she has known all these years. She has changed, yes, and she appreciates it every day, but sometimes she would miss that courage and spark in her cerulean eyes, replaced by cold indifference. And then, Anne also had to admit – she could have saved the world, but still, she is helpless to make her world even slightly better. Sasha is quiet for a moment. "I guess. I’m sorry."

Anne sighs. She knows her – if she wants to know exactly what's going on, she has to dig deeper. Not directly. 

She changes the subject.

"What about these?" She asks, gently grabbing one of Sasha’s bleeding hands. Sasha doesn’t stop her, even when Anne reaches out for some water and gauze in her backpack. Sasha lets out a little chuckle. "Always prepared, aren’t we?" "Better be safe than sorry. There’s always some scratch at the tennis practice." Anne answers, smiling a little. She opens the bottle of water. "Gimme your hands." Sasha listens to her – Anne knows it’s not Sasha letting herself be cared for, but it’s still the same indifference swallowing her. Sasha just doesn’t want to make it longer than it’s needed, that’s all. Anne pours some water on Sasha’s bleeding knuckles and then applies the gauze, pressuring it a bit. "Thanks," Sasha murmurs. "I would be fine, though." "I know. But there are a lot of things where I could leave you on your own. I just don’t want to." "Yeah. I– I get it." The silence falls. It’s kind of awkward, although they have spent a lot of moments without any words. For now, though, the silence is not as safe as it was – it’s unknown, unpredictable and they have gone through too much to just let it be. The silence is a sign that they, in fact, have grown apart and will continue to do so. Which is a natural course of events, but they’re too tied to each other to cut the strings of their fates. They fulfilled their destinies, but the aftermaths of these are still present in their lives. Slowly, it becomes clear – they won’t fade away. And they can be swallowed by these or accept them as part of their way to, whatever. They’re supposed to figure that out. They can’t even figure themselves out. As Anne keeps holding Sasha’s hands in hers, trying to find something that would cut that silence between them, some topic to talk about, to pretend that absolutely everything is alright (when it’s not and she wonders if it ever will be). She cannot ignore her bleeding knuckles, or rather – the reason why they are even bleeding in the first place, but she’s perfectly aware she won’t get the straight answer. It will be lost in the sea of generality, which means – it won't even be an answer at all. Instead, she takes a closer look at the details she noticed when she stepped by Sasha’s house. Now, she’s more aware of those that she saw earlier and recognizes the ones she didn’t. Then, the familiar smell of cheap beer she can find at typical, high school parties during which she realizes she’s more lonely than ever, fills her nostrils. Before she knows it, she withdraws her hands from Sasha’s and the genuine, curious question leaves her mouth.

 "Have you been drinking?" Sasha shrugs. "A little. I’m fine." She adds in a way that Anne is going to investigate more and it is absolutely not needed. She wouldn’t have to, because in that matter Anne believes her, "This beer from his fridge tasted like shit either way." And she chuckles. Anne is aware Mr. Waybright won’t notice one or two of his bottles missing. Even if he will, he’s that type of man who offers some Bud Light to any teenager entering his house, probably wanting to be this "cool" dad. Sometimes Anne can’t stop hysterically thinking that he’ll make Sasha an alcoholic before she turns 21, but it’s only panicked thinking, because Sasha just doesn’t care about some percents in her body, unlike the average American teenager. Anne has seen her at the parties – and if she had to choose, who, the fuck, from this bunch of tipsy, vomiting kids still has all of their marbles, it would be Sasha, actually. No matter how crazy it sounds. He’s not a monster, to be honest. He’s just a really crappy parent, or like Sasha once told her – he "fucked up and is too afraid to clean his shit up because it started living its own life". Her words are painfully… accurate. It’s easier to let it be. Her rage has already evaporated anyway, leaving only a void in her heart but both seem to be equally destructive. 

"Why did you drink it, then?" For a while, Anne thinks she’s like the host interviewing the guest invited to the show, fucking Christ, the same surrealistic grotesque situation. 

"I don’t know. I do a lot of stuff without thinking." Her knuckles are not bleeding as much as before, so she plays with gauze in her hands. "Although… I was frustrated. I think." 

At this point, it looks like Anne could’ve left if she wanted to. Their whole conversation is only a facade, to be honest, as there’s nothing to talk about – or rather, their misery is too big to put into words and they’re focusing all of their strength to survive. They know, it’s not the only way to live, yet the old habits don’t go away, in their heads war continues, so do they, covered in grime and blood. Being safe is out of place, it’s… wrong. She could’ve let go of her hand, as they are both drowning in dark water, and kept drowning on her own – because one of them is the weight to the other and vice versa. Maybe in some alternate world she realizes – they share nothing with each other, not anymore. So she nods, gets up, says goodbye and goes home, and that's the last time she sees her – not six feet underground, where she stays the same messy teenager forever. Maybe, in some alternate world she doesn't even think about that as she actually has been dead , even if right now it feels like she is, and it cannot be, they’re whole, the one, even if on their own they’re only shattered pieces of people they used to be. Maybe , she thinks, sitting on this very porch outside Waybrights’ house and seeing the blink of reality that still can happen flashes in front of her eyes, we’ll die.

I hope we both die.  

(It’s not her thought).  

Finally, she asks something she should have asked a long time ago – despite the obvious answer – reverse shibboleth, that "hello" at the beginning of a phone call, while you know who’s on the other side. But you still have to do it and you don’t know why, the impulsivity of the decision you won’t even remember. 

"Are you alright?" Sasha looks at her – in the deep blue of her eyes Anne sees all of that hidden pain and she knows. Hell, no, the kids aren’t alright, the kids with skinned knees and gaps in their teeth, once they’ve run onto these streets where they grew up and got lost. Yet, they came back and prayed, prayed so hard to be able to continue being kids. They’ve lost their innocence though, disturbed by the aftermath of their experiences. It is a miracle they survived. But living with the consequences of such wonder, it is a curse. 

And then, Sasha does something that will haunt Anne in her dreams for a few next weeks, although the echo of it stays with her until her dying days. She puts her hand in her pocket and pulls out a gun.

It happens in the second – she springs up, just to step back, panicked and realizes – she thinks she’s in danger. She thinks that Sasha holding Mr. Waybright’s fucking Walther may be a threat to her and she hates it. Sasha has to realize it too, as her eyes are widening, wondering if that’s betrayal as well. Anne has to cover it up. 

"What the fuck?" She whispers, her body still tense and ready to flee in any second. "It’s empty," Sasha says, her voice breaking a little, "I promise." "What were you thinking?" "I’m sorry–" "Have you gone crazy?!" She explodes and she’ll regret it later but she can’t help it right now. "Has it even crossed your damn mind what the hell– I would– what I would have to tell her ?!" "I’m sorry!" Sasha yells with full force and Anne is aware that she’s not lying. "I’m fucking sorry, okay?!"

The silence falls, right before the neighbors become interested in this yelling outside. So they quiet down, for their own damn sake, although it doesn’t really matter. Anne even feels this unbearable, beastly, immature desire to scream her lungs out about what her friend-not-friend tried to do. Instead, she takes a deep breath. "Put this shit down. Right here," she commands coldly. "Don’t– Don’t protest." So Sasha follows. This little pact of the war, which is her dad’s gun being kicked as far away as possible from them, hurts because it’s not a necessity, not at all, yet it clearly draws another new line between them. And, she has to admit, Anne fully has the right to do so – she cannot be in control of it.

Then, Anne sits down on the stairs again, but farther than before, as if the invisible wall grew during these few moments that just took place, separating them. It’s not the first time, though. A lot of walls have grown in Sasha’s life. The one that her parents placed when she was just a kid, about whose existence she would learn much later, another one when both of them found new families and she realized there’s no place for her, and the other one, in a place way more different from the Earth, eons from there. The thing is – none of these walls have been broken and Sasha doubts they ever will be. But not Anne, Anne would always find some way to break through walls that have been laid down in Sasha’s life, as they weren’t existing for her in the first place. Anne would reach her, to the place where she went without any sound – her hero, her villain, her savior, her downfall. Now, Sasha has failed her and she knows it will impact both of them for the rest of their lives.

Anne lets the air out as if she was thinking if she should or should not ask the question. Finally, she decides to do so. "Is that because of us? Just… be honest," she says so quietly and exhaustedly that Sasha just wishes she had the strength to take her inside so they both could’ve laid down and after they’d wake up this whole situation would be nothing as some bizarre, blurry dream that they couldn’t have remembered. Like they used to. Sasha blinks. "No," she says, almost defensively, "no, it’s never been us, I swear."

Anne nods. "Alright." Her face softens, somewhere between blame and the feeling that maybe it’s the last time she believes her. "I’m sorry. For… yelling at you and stuff." Sasha chuckles wryly. "I’d yell at myself too. And… I’m not a fan of compassion either. So, uh, I probably needed that." "It wasn’t okay, though." "Anne, I swear, from this point now nothing will ever be worse than that." "Then tell me why." Anne looks her in the eyes and the icey, piercing blue meets the warm brown. "Tell me the truth." 

It reminds her of the same sunny afternoon, from a few weeks ago when they both decided it’s clearly not working – or at least, not for now. Maybe, some beautiful day they will eventually understand themselves and become exactly the persons they have been looking for in the images of way too troubled teens they were. But there, she loses it, the stability of her future, because just a few moments ago she could’ve been not here anymore. Her empire of dirt falls, so does she, from its highest tower – there’s no more place to hide. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, as one of the catechists from the Saint James middle school used to say during mandatory Lent’s masses.

Funny thing – God. She quickly realized she wasn’t a believer and it wasn’t really a surprising thing. Although her parents declared themselves Catholics and she was Saint James’s student after all, none of them took care about raising her in the faith. Her parents rarely attended church, which she used to find ironic, and Saint James was mostly Catholic in name only. It worked really well with her during her early adolescence, when she would find any feeling of being subjected to some, in her opinion, ridiculous religious system absolutely outrageous. If God exists, why do people suffer? Why does hell exist? Why does the loving God kill or hate his own children? And none of the priests, believers or sacred books would give her the satisfying answer – somehow, they still believed and she couldn’t understand it. She does now, hell, she craves strength to follow them as well. Lost in her own humanity, maybe faith in some higher being would save her from annihilation. She would live in a lie, but she would at least live, frightened by God Almighty, like the kids are scared of monsters under the bed. But, in the disguise of promising the rest of her soul that’s still a lie, making her sick to her stomach. The pain is a better companion, always silent and harsh – yet, she can count on it either way. 

"Okay."

Dance on my grave with me – take my hand and let me sing.

Sasha gulps. 

"Do you remember how you died? When you turned into leaves and we thought you were gone forever?" "Hard to forget." Anne chuckles hollowly. "What about it?"

"I… I just kind of started thinking about it. That it could be some kind of salvation for me. And I guess that’s why you were so furious, because you survived."

"We all survived, Sash," she says, her eyes staring into space in front of her. "Now we have to live with the consequences."

"Yeah." A moment of quiet, she starts to fidget with her hands. "It’s not like I exactly want to die. There are still things I’d miss and I know that there are some people who care about me and I care about them. I didn’t even live half the life I wanted. But there’s something in… me, some kind of wish to not exist and sometimes it’s just too strong. Like, there’s too much pain to fight for some happiness." Sasha takes a slow breath. "A-And there’s no real way to experience nothingness. Maybe death is too much, but… Shit, I wouldn’t even have time to think about it if that gun was loaded, I’m just… exhausted. I wouldn’t really care if I had to die in five minutes."

Anne nods slowly. She thinks for a second, and then she speaks up.

"We have a name for it. In Buddhism. It’s vibhava-taṇhā. Basically craving for non-existence." "Vibhava-taṇhā," Sasha repeats. Silently, she whispers it a few times under her nose. It sounds weirdly good while she says it. Anne looks at her, but Sasha doesn’t. "I told you what happened. To be honest, I’m not sure if I didn’t dream it, but… I don’t think that death is a salvation for non-existence." 

"Why?"

"Because there’s no turning back," she says, "and we don’t want to leave forever."

"And why did you come back?"

That surprises her. Sasha knows, she had to have some thoughts like hers at some point of her life. Yet, she decided to come back here, to existence, being the man’s worst nightmare and his biggest dream. Sasha still cannot fully grasp this concept and she wants to understand. "I… I still want to experience. And… nothingness will come at some point. Why not stick around a little longer?"

"But we’re smaller people than we used to be. I mean, we’re alive, but… what now? Because I have no idea. It kind of feels like I never will," she admits.

"Actually, it’s fine," Anne assures, "nothing matters. In a good way, so that’s okay. We’re the ones who give it all direction." 

"Do you think we’ll figure it out?"

Anne shrugs. "Eventually. I hope."

"I hope so too."

They don’t say anything for a while. A little eternity. Next, Anne decides to address something that is pretty accurate. 

"You’re not going to like it, but I think you should call your dad." Sasha opens her mouth as Anne cuts in firmly, "Or any other adult. I’m your friend but I’m also just a kid. I can’t just ignore the fact you just tried– tried to kill yourself and to be honest… I just simply don’t know what to do." 

And Sasha indeed doesn’t like it, but Anne’s right. She won’t argue with her.

She sighs. "Can you at least stay? For a moment?"

"Sure," Anne says. She doesn’t hesitate. By this, she means " I’ll wait for you. " So, with a shaking hand, Sasha pulls out her phone from her pocket. Nervously, she looks for "Dad" in her contacts, while her brain frantically tries to find some good words to tell him what happened, what is happening and what will happen. Eventually, she calls him and the sound of dialing seems to last forever. But he fucking picks up. She kind of wishes he didn’t. 

"Hi, Sasha. Everything’s okay?"

She looks at Anne and she doesn't know what to say anymore. She gulps. "Hey, dad. Can you come? I– I think I need your help." "What? Are you alright?" He sounds genuinely concerned. "I found your gun," she blurts out. She doesn’t even need to say anything more as the silence from Mr. Waybright seems to tell everything as he already guessed what she wanted to do. 

"Okay," he finally says, probably still processing her words, "is anyone with you? "

"Y-yes."

"I’ll be there in twenty minutes."

"I’m sorry." She doesn’t even control it, but that’s something she wanted to tell him a long time ago. 

"It’s fine. Just wait a moment."

"Okay. Thanks." She’s sure he wants to tell her something more – maybe "I’m sorry " as well, or "I love you ", but he doesn’t. He never does and she can understand it – they may be a family, but the lines were drawn a long time ago and probably even her death wouldn’t change it. But that’s okay, she can live with it. She’s used to it, after all. But he ends the call, as if they were just casually talking about what to get in the store and that thought makes her laugh. 

"He picked up," she chuckles, still shaking, even more than before. Her vision becomes blurry as the tears start to run down her face. "H-he picked up."

Anne just slowly opens her arms and, as if it was her only way to save herself, Sasha drowns in her. Clenching her shaking hands on Anne’s t-shirt, she lets it all out, her own catharsis – she will wake up in the morning. Anne holds her gently until her dad arrives. 

They’ll be okay. Eventually.

[angstama]

cigarettes | rindou.h

pairing:  rindou haitani x reader , mitsuya takashi x reader

genre: angst, fluff, romance

warnings: alcohol, smoking, cursing, suggestive, rejection!

✧. "hey, wanna smoke cigarettes together with me till the day we die?"

this is the alternate ending to mardy bum! where reader chooses executive rindou haitani instead of our dear mitsuya takashi :-)

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : cigarettes and feelings - the haunt

"for the love of god rin, you're so fucking slow!"

you gently tugged your cream coloured cardigan against your skin, pulling it close to shield you from the cooling air in the open as you excitedly roamed the streets of prague.

you were currently on the Europe leg of tour for your latest art series exhibition and finally had the day off to explore the little capital city with your lover and hopefully check off some of your bucket lists if rindou could only increase his pace just a little bit more.

you watched rindou roll his eyes, tapping the excess ash on his cigarette before stuffing his other hand into his pocket. "but you love it when i go slow and steady." he muses, a smug grin etched to the corner of his lips. your eyes widened, quickly looking around to see if anyone heard the suggestive comment that your boyfriend had made before shooting him a glare, "i swear rin, if you keep saying shit like this in public, i'll literally never let you fuck me again." you deadpanned.

rindou doesn't say anything but only slowly made his way towards where you've stopped to wait for him, eyes never leaving yours once. you raised your brows when he leans in to your ear, "i'd love to see you try darling." he whispers, voice husky from the lingering warm air of nicotine in his throat which only sent you squealing on the inside.

"whatever." you huffed, walking away to which rindou hastily grabs your wrist, stopping you from getting any further away from him. "cigarettes doesn't keep hands warm you know?" he says, intertwining your hands together before pulling you with him to visit the places you had in mind.

"man, i could sure do this everyday." you stretched your arms above your head and bending your body sideways before turning to face rindou and stealing the lighted cigarette in between his lips to place in yours. you allowed your lungs to inhale the ever so addictive nicotine into your system, mind slightly clouded which made the spectacular view of the cathedral in front of you even much more beautiful than it already was.

you were in awe. you've always wanted to come here and you remembered ever wanting to visit this very cathedral with your first love, mitsuya takashi. yet here you are right now with someone else who isn't him. someone else who held your hair back when you threw up from the excessive drinking in hopes to get rid of the aching feeling in your heart. someone else who would let you paint their body like a canvas when you were bored. someone else who would go on to make you forget that you've ever loved mitusya takashi.

the two of you sat in silence, both basking in the breathtaking view of the cathedral. it was peaceful and everything was perfect. the way the colours of red and orange skies blended together as the sun begins to set, the way your beloved cigarettes tasted almost sweet this very evening and the way rindou's warm hand was intertwined in yours, you never want this moment to end.

"hey," rindou whispered softly as you pried your gaze away from the view and to your man. "wanna smoke cigarettes together with me till the day we die?"

3 y e a r s a g o

you carefully lowered the needle on your spinning vinyl, gently swaying to the tune as you started to prep yourself for your very own art exhibition that would be showcasing tonight.

it had been almost three months since you had last seen mitsuya takashi and during these three months, you had resorted to throwing yourself into paintings after paintings while rindou had stayed by your side, supporting you through every step of the way wether you’re high or not and you were absolutely grateful for that.

your heard that mitsuya takashi had gone on to continue excelling in the fashion industry and you were genuinely happy for him. though a part of you still wished that you were the one who helped him make it through.

“how do i look today tiger?” you gently rubbed your cat’s tummy, a soft smile tugging at the corner of your lips. you hear him meow a response as you unclipped the claw clip that held your hair together, letting your hair down on your shoulders.

your doorbell suddenly rang, catching you off guard. you weren’t expecting any visitors today you were sure of it. “rindou? is that you?” you called out, opening the doors only to be met with a pair of familiar lavender orbs staring back at you.

it was mitsuya takashi.

your breath hitched upon seeing the familiar face that you missed oh so very much. “ta-takashi? why are you here?” you stammered nervously when mitsuya leaned in closely towards you, causing you to stumble back slightly. “yours. i’ll always be yours if you want me to be.” mitsuya breathed. crashing his lips onto yours before you could say anything.

rindou.

your eyes widened when rindou's face flashes at the back of your head which caused you to roughly pushed mitsuya away. "wh-what?" you stumbled back. oh how you've waited so long for the day that mitsuya would declare himself to be yours. you've dreamt of the day that mitsuya would finally kiss you with those pretty soft lips that often utter words of affirmation to you so why did you think of another man when he kisses you?

"you've got to be kidding me right?" your lips trembled, staring wide eyed at mitsuya who reached out to your arms. "i'm not y/n. i love you y/n. i've always did and i'm sorry it took this long for me to say it to you." he looked at you with pleading eyes.

this isn't right. it can't be.

"you're fucking kidding me takashi?" you laughed hysterically when you felt your legs give up, the cold tiles hitting your bare legs. "you can't do this takashi. you can't!" you ran your fingers through your hair frustratedly.

why does he always have the right to hurt you like this?

"you can't just disappear for months and then come knocking on my door saying that you love me! that's so fucking unfair!" mitsuya lowered his gaze, he knew he had messed up and was now paying for all the times he had broken your heart.

you loved mitsuya takashi you were sure of it, but you remembered that mitsuya takashi only loved you when you were sober while rindou haitani had willingly accompanied you through your highs and lows without you even begging for it. and so, you had unconsciously decided that you wanted rindou to stay in your life.

perhaps maybe it was your fight or flight instincts. no, scratch that, you have to look for rindou. you wanted to tell him that mitsuya takashi isn't that great of a kisser than you had imagined.

"i- i have to go." you stammered, anxiously getting up and dashing out of your apartment and leaving mitsuya behind. you have to see rindou.

and so, after running out of your own place with half your make up done and getting on a cab, you finally arrived at the haitani's penthouse. you knew this place at the back of your head, often spending your weekends spinning and dancing with rindou.

you impatiently knocked on the door when the electronic door finally unlocked, revealing the man you've been dying to see for almost half an hour who's now looking at you, mouth slightly gaped.

"darling? thought i said i'll pick you up at your place?"

you wiped the sweat of your forehead with your knuckles, letting out a small exhale before taking rindou's hand in yours and grabbing his neck to pull him towards you which allowed you to finally crash your lips into his.

it wasn't your first time kissing rindou. but kissing him now felt right and it completely knocked the air out of your lungs when you could taste the lingering taste of strawberries and cigarettes on his lips and you loved it. "what's going on darling?" rindou asks when you pull away to look at him with the biggest grin on your face. "i realised i only wanna smoke cigarettes with you." you breathed.

it was a weird analogy. but rindou knows. rindou knew that it was your way of saying the words of "i love you". smoking was more than just an addiction to you, it was your only constant since you were sixteen and you'd never give that up despite the health consequences for you were perfectly okay with dying earlier.

rindou only pulls you into his chest, a hand resting on your head when you hear him mumble, voice muffled. "i'd gladly smoke with you everyday."

you felt the bustling street of prague slowly fade away in the background, leaving just the two of you and the enormous cathedral standing tall in front of you.

"w-what?" you stared at him, eyes wide and searching for any hint of joke or literally whatever that prompts an attempt to prank you in his eyes only to finally realise that he wasn't joking when he remained unfazed. "now?" you gasped.

rindou nods, "yeah. why not?" he squeezes your hand, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "unless you don't want to marry me?" he joked, raising a brow.

your brain finally fully processed what he had just said. rindou haitani wants to marry you. he wants to be yours till your last breath.

you shook your head frantically, "fuck rin- no! of course i want to marry you!"

"okay, then let's get married now." rindou stood up, dragging you along with him towards the cathedral that you love so very much where the two of you exchanged your vows that very day.

taglist: @theresapancakes <3

[tobin-heaths]

What I Need

request: R is a single mom of a 3 month old and over time hope becomes like a second mom and it’s cute as hell to watch hope with a little baby. The reader plays for uswnt and it’s her first game back and hopes there with the baby and vlatko let’s hope come down to the field and it’s just cute little family hug and shit. that’s how they come out to the world and the team

pairing: Hope Solo x Reader

words: 1095

notes: I wrote this slightly different. The team already knows about them

"Good job Y/N! You can be proud of yourself."

"So good to have you back here again. I missed your snarky comments."

"Doing the impossible and proving us mortals wrong once again, huh?"

You laughed along with your teammates once the game was over, nothing much had changed since you left to become a mother. It felt good to be back on a soccer field and do what you're best at.

You had played the full 90 minutes even though Vlatko didn't like the idea at all but after much begging and convincing he gave you the chance and you proved your worth, even scoring one goal in the second half.

That definitely left a good impression on your team and with the media.

All you could think about now was your daughter and girlfriend, she stayed with Hope until the game would be over.

"Okay, where is she? I wanna see her now!" Alex looked around herself in search for something that could resemble a baby.

You giggled, ready to answer but Pinoe smashed into your side and gave you a big hug, ruffling your hair while doing so. You groaned and dodged her hands. "Did someone say baby? Give her to me now."

"Woah, woah. Easy. She's still with Hope. I have to ask first. Give me a minute, god, you're like two small children yourself." You playfully glared at Megan and went off to search for Vlakto.

"Y/N."

You looked to your right and noticed Vlakto walking your way, a big smile on his face.

"Vlakto." You nodded in respect.

"Great comeback." He studied you for a second, then broke out into a big grin and hugged you tight. All this praise had you feeling extra giddy now.

"Say, can Hope come down? They all want to meet her and you know how Pinoe can be once she set her mind on something." You pointed towards her as she was watching you with hawk eyes.

"Sure. I don't see the problem. Make sure no one gets hurt, yeah." He winked and then left you to yourself to chat with the rest of your teammates.

Wasting no time you jogged towards the section Hope was sitting in and saw her leaning against the barrier separating the seats and field. You waved them onto the field and made sure security would let her pass.

Your daughter was happily resting against Hope's chest, holding onto her thumb, a pacifier in her mouth. Surely no camera would miss that shot. This would be all over the news later. It was the perfect moment for a come out.

"Hey, baby!" You said full of excitement as Hope walked up to you. Upon spotting you your daughter squealed in excitement and tried reaching for you as well as losing her pacifier along the way but Hope was quick to catch it before it would fall onto the grass.

"Hello, my angel. Mommy missed you so much." Securing both hands around her small body you lifted her out of Hope's arms and into your own.

Hope smiled at the both of you before greeting you and pressing her lips onto yours, one of her hands gently caressing your daughter's leg. "She was well behaved." She reassured, stroking her soft hair.

"You should come to all my games then. Seeing her in your arms just watching me gave me a lot more motivation and honestly, that was the cutest thing I've ever seen, Miss Solo." You smirked and gave her one more kiss, this time much longer than the last.

"Baby!" You groaned and turned around as you heard Pinoe's excited yell. Tobin and Alex were hot on her heels, not missing the chance of an interaction with a cute, small baby.

This was not the first time that Pinoe and Tobin have seen your daughter, for Alex and most of your teammates it was a first time though. "No. It's my turn now. You've already seen her. Don't be mean, P." Alex complained and pushed herself in front of the purple haired woman.

"Well, hello there, aren't you a cute thing." She mumbled and stared at your baby with big eyes and an even bigger smile. "Hey, Hope."

The ex goalkeeper waved at your friends and went to stand behind you, one arm around your waist, her head on your shoulder staring down at the small human.

"I'm way too sweaty to hold her. Hope?"

Your girlfriend sprung into action and your daughter was once again placed into her arms.

More of your teammates started to arrive to have a look at her and took rounds of taking her into their arms, of course being very careful and as soon as she would start to cry they made sure to get her back into Hope's arms.

"Sonnett, you want to hold her?" Sonny's eyes widened as Hope halted in front of her holding your daughter out to her. "Uhm– sure. Can't be that bad."

Hope stood close, never leaving her daughter out of sight or attention. As soon as Sonny held her, looking awkward while doing so your daughter started crying and reaching for Hope's strong and familiar arms.

"Eh, okay. Maybe I'll wait getting my own small copy of myself. Hope!" You and the rest of the team laughed at a panicking Sonny.

Hope was quick to pick her back up and calm her down, it was like as soon as she was back in the goalkeeper's hands she stopped crying immediately.

Watching her with a baby all cuddled up in her arms talking to friends made your heart swell with undying love. You couldn't get any luckier even if you would try.

"Okay, I think that's enough for her. Someone needs to go back to sleep. Babe, you got this, right? I'll meet you outside once we're through here, alright?"

"Of course. Be careful. I love you. It was nice seeing you guys." You carefully kissed her small forehead and watched as Hope said goodbye to her old teammates before leaving the field.

"You three will make a perfect family. It's cute to see her with a baby. She looks so happy. Your small one has two amazing mothers." Carli joined your side and put her arm around your shoulder. "Great goal, by the way."

"I wouldn't want to have it any other way. Oh, you think so? Thanks for the great assist." You nudged her side playfully and together you marched back to the locker room.

This day couldn't have been any more perfect.

[jjmaybanksblog]

Stress Release- John B

(Not my gif, credit for whoever created it!)

Summary: Friends with benefits; Two friends who trust each other enough to engage in sexual activity without fear of hurting the other's feelings.

Word count: 1,912

Warnings: Mentions fwb, sex, and underage drinking.

You rested on your stomach, textbook in front of you as John B joined your side. You two had been chosen to be partners for a Chemistry class project, but neither of you two had actually paid enough attention to figure out what you two we're doing.

You guys sat in silence for a minute before you exhaled loudly. "What's with the sigh?" You ground loudly, flipping yourself over and laying on your back.

"It's my senior year. I should be out in the world not giving a single fuck about anything, but I'm stressed out of my mind and I have no clue how to get rid of it." You ranted, grabbing the nearest pillow and screaming into it. John B looked at you with a confused look. "What? I'm a screamer. Not sexually, just at life in general." "I can make that sexually." He said, earning a smack from the pillow.

"Therapy?" "Tried." "Painting?" "Tried." "Going to the gym?" "Ha! You're fucking funny." John B remained quiet for a second before coming up with something. "Have you tried just hooking up with someone? You know, like a friends with benefits type thing." 

Your head snapped up from it's spot as you stared at the boy with a dumbfounded look. "I'm sorry?" "Well it's just, if you need to release tension, shit like that helps a lot." John B said as he suddenly felt idiotic for bringing the idea up. You sat there for a moment, trying to process his words. "Okay but even if I wanted to I don't know who would even want to." 

John B's index finger pointed to his face as you observed his gesture. "Really?and why would you want to be friends with benefits?" "I get stressed too, I help you out, you help me out." You considered his offer for a moment before agreeing on his idea.

"Okay. But we have to make a guideline." You negotiated, ripping out a piece of paper from the notebook. Now it was John B's turn to roll his eyes. 

"First rule, we do not tell a single soul about this." You said, grabbing your pen and scribbling the words down. "Okay, okay. Second rule, we call each other whenever we need a release. Whenever and wherever." "No hooking up with anyone else unless either of us get

a boyfriend/girlfriend." He thought aloud.

You nodded your head, writing his words down quickly. "And the last one," you two looked at each other as you spoke in unison, "no feelings." You held the pen out towards him, giving you a questioning look. "What? We gotta make this shit official." 

John B let out a chuckle as he took the pen from your hand and scribbled his name. Returning the pen to you, he adjusted himself so he was resting against the headboard. You quickly signed it, closing the notebook shut.

John B sighed softly before looking at youm "You stressed?" You quickly rose up from your spot, your legs resting on both sides of him as you straddled his lap. "You have no idea." His hands trailed up your back, one hand staying on your thigh and gently rubbing it. The other was wrapped tightly around your waist.

Your lips met halfway, he sighed in relief at the feeling of someone else's lips. The kiss was fierce and rushed, both of you wasting no time in getting your stress out.

_________________

You guys had this 'relationship' going for the last 5 months. Almost every other day you called each other. It was an odd thing for you to do. You had done it before in the past, but sex with John B was something else. There were nights where the type would change, he would take control for most of the time. Angry sex, sex in the living room, car sex, anything he wanted to do, you two did.

However, as time went on the feelings John B had began to change. He wanted to spend more time with you, and not just hook up. He wanted to find out more things about you, watch movies with you, be able to kiss you in public whenever he wanted. The at first sloppy sex slowly morphed into passionate sex. He noticed and it scared him shitless. He loved every moment he spent with you and he didn't want that to change.

He was mad at himself. That was the third rule and he broke it. He never expected it to happen, but when it did it slapped him right across the face.

You two were lying there naked, sheets covering your bare chests. You were fast asleep, your body facing him. He took in the tiny details about you, everything that he could. How sometimes your eyelashes flutter. How you'll snore sometimes. How he rests his hand on your cheek and you unknowingly lean into his touch. He buried this hole too deep and he can't get out.

You both were currently at your friend Angela's party, drunk teens were horribly dancing in the living room, couples were hooking up in the bedrooms and bathrooms. John B was drinking a shot of vodka as he saw you walk by, a red plastic solo cup in your hand. "Hey Routledge!" You winked at the boy who shyly drank from his cup.

A classmate of his walked up to John B, "Hey, what's with you and that Y/L/N chick?" The boy asked, nudging John B's shoulders. He smirked at his classmate leaning closer to him, "we're friends with benefits!" John B exclaimed, clearly tipsy and not knowing the words that are spilling out of his mouth. 

The classmate smirked at the intoxicated teen, giving JB a high five, congratulating him. You were out in the backyard enjoying the night sky with Sarah Cameron.you two were laughing after watching someone run and fall into the pool.

The fun was quickly ruined as the classmate stood in front of you guys. "So Y/N, I heard you help release stress from my good old friend John B. How about you help me out?" Your face dropped in shock, the cup falling from your hand. "I'm sorry?" You asked, pretending not to understand what he was talking about.

"Oh yeah. But real shit, whenever I need something I'll give you a call." The boy sent you a wink before licking his lower lip and walking away. You stared at the ground in shock. "Are you okay?" "I don't know how to answer that." You admitted.

You stomped out of the backyard and out of the house. Stares, comments and giggles were all you noticed as you made your way through the crowded rooms. Making way to your car, you opened the door and slammed it shut. Your fists pounded down onto the steering wheel, accidentally punching the horn. You crossed your arms and leaned against the wheel. Your head fell against your arms as tears stung your eyes. You were furious at John B, but you were also angry with yourself. 

During the time you had been sleeping with John B, you also began to realize how your heart would race a mile a minute with him, even before the physical contact. You had been trying to deny the feelings, 'it's just sex' you repeated to yourself over and over after every session. But to you it was something else, and that scared you.

You sped down down the road, the lights blurring from the tears, your cheeks and nose a shade of pink. Your breathing was uneven as you hicupped every now and then. Returning home, you quickly changed out of your clothes into pajamas and laid in bed. That night was the last time you and John B had an interaction for a whole month.

He would call you, but you'd let the answering machine pick up. You'd swerve him when you walked by him in the halls, catching his eye then turning around to walk the other way. 

You wanted to distance yourself as much as you could. John B tried his best to apologize after his classmate reminded him that he told your secret that night at the party. He felt absolutely destroyed hearing the rumors that were spreading about you, about you both, he hated it.

Your eyes were sealed shut as you attempted to let sleep overtake your body. It was finally Friday and you just wanted to sleep for 12 hours. The sound of rain hitting your window sounded like heaven to your ears, just pure silence except for that one noise. 

A soft tapping sound echoed off the  window. Knowing it wasn't rain, you hesitantly opened your eyes to see John Booker Routledge holding himself as he stood in your backyard, in the pouring rain. His hair was plastered down onto his face. His clothes clung to his body. His eyes were squinted shut in hopes to not get too much water in them.

You quickly got up and pulled him through the window harshly, making him fall to the ground. His skin made a loud slapping noise as he made contact with the hardwood floor. You sighed, rubbing your forehead with the palm of your hand. "Hold on." You quickly went out of the room and walked back in with a towel. You handed it to him as you sat on the bad, John B standing there as he attempted to dry off.

"Look this isn't a guilt-trip. I just genuinely want to know if you dislike me so I can stop bothering you." He started, the towel running through his hair, drops of water flying everywhere. You sighed loudly and pitched the bridge of your nose. "I don't hate or dislike you. I hate that you spilled what we were to what's his face at the party. Do you know how many phone calls I've gotten of guys asking me to hook up with them? 24." 

"What we were?" John B asked softly. "You broke your promise, you can't come back from that." You huffed, your eyes not leaving the floor. "It was just a fling." He lied, not only to you but to himself. "Not to me it wasn't." Your voice was just above a whisper.

"What?" 

"Throughout the last few months things felt different. It was really fucking weird to think about, but my heart would always just... race when we spent time together. I wanted things to just be more than a fling. But I figured you just wanted it to be just that thing since you came up with the idea." you admitted. He lightly chuckled as he bent down to be face to face with you.

"Princess. I walked here to you in the rain. This is how much I love you. This," he pointed his finger between you two, "I want more than a fling. I want to be able to just walk around with you on my arm and just give you all the fucking affection I can give. And I'm sorry about the calls. I'll make sure people get the notice to-" you cut him off by quickly pressing your lips against his.

He exhaled loudly, your skin suddenly felt as if it were burning. "God I missed you." He mumbled against your lips as his thumb stroked your cheek. "Show me how much you missed me." You whispered, pulling the boy onto the bed.

[in-my-jamiebower-era]

Adore you. Rafe Cameron.

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: You’re a pouge and Rafe is a Kook. This relationship will never work, that’s why you hide it.

Warnings: A few curse words, implied smut, and probably grammatical errors.

Words: 4,500 on the dot!

A/N: Hey you guys! Sorry this took so long to post, I had to deal with a few personal things. All of you are incredible!! Y’all are so sweet!💕 If anyone has constructive criticisms or requests please don’t hesitate to message me. Also do you guys thing I should write for anyone else? Just message me what you think. I’m so glad y’all like my fics! Thank you for all the likes and comments!💓 Don’t forgot to TPWK!!😌🥺 (Dont hesitate to message me if you need to talk, I’m here for you!)😘

You’re a pogue. You live on the cut. You work at the wreck. You hang out with John b, JJ, Kiara, Pope, and Sarah. Although Kiara was your best friend. You had known her the longest. Pogues and Kooks aren’t supposed to be friends, much less associate with each other. Although, Kie and Sarah were different. They both proved they weren’t snobs and they definitely knew how to have a good time.

You really didn’t go to Kie’s house a lot but you did go to the Cameron’s sometimes. Sarah insisted that you and Kie came over today to help her pick out a hairstyle for midsummers. They both were Kooks so of course they were going, but you were a Pouge. That meant you’d either be working the event or not going at all.

All three of you were up in Sarah’s room talking of various hairstyles and makeup plans. They both weren’t excited about the event but to tell the truth that’s all you had dreamt of since a little kid. All you wanted was to be invited to that party, wear a nice dress, and dance as though you would never again. You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard Kie and Sarah bickering on which flower crown to wear. That’s when you said, “Hey guys I’m going to go get something to drink from downstairs, I’ll be right back.” They both nodded and went back to dealing with the crown.

As you were grabbing a can of cherry coke your hand slipped from wetness and dropped it. Then out of nowhere appeared Mr. Rafe Cameron. He grabbed it for you and said “next time try to be more careful” then he gave you a cocky wink. You blushed at his comment. He could obviously see the effect he had on you so he said “you’re adorable when you blush.” He definitely knew how to get you going. So you lent over and gave him a quick peck on the lips. He then deepened the kiss.

Walk-in your rainbow paradise

Strawberry lipstick state of mind

I get so lost inside your eyes

Would you believe it?

The truth is you and Rafe had been secretly dating for 6 months. You both knew how your friends would feel about it so you decided to keep it to yourself. Thing is you saw something different in Rafe. You weren’t exactly sure when you started crushing on him. Maybe it was when you would see him coming out of the water, glistening. Maybe it was when you found him one night I’m a rage and helped calm him down.

Just so happened one night at a boneyard party Rafe found you all alone sitting on a log, watching the stars. You remember the conversation so vividly “hey y/n what are you doing out here all alone?” You glumly replied, “Oh you know just living it up.” The conversation went on for a while until there was a comfortable silence. Although you believe that comfortable silence was so overrated.

You really weren’t the type to be brave and do something so daring, but at the moment it just felt right. You all of the sudden grabbed him from the back of his neck and attached your lips to his.

“Shit, Rafe I’m so sorry. It’s just I’ve wanted to do that for a long time. Maybe it’s the alcohol in my system or it just feels right. I really don’t want to ruin our friendship and I hope this doesn’t make anything weird. I know you look at me like a Pouge. I thought maybe if I did it you would feel the same way. I know it’s completely stupid and I’m so sorry.” He had a little smile playing on his lips. Then he replied, “just shut up and kiss me again.”

It felt like electricity coursing through your veins. It felt like butterflies were swarming your stomach. He grabbed around your waist to pull you in more. You gently tugged at the end of the hair, which in response he let out an almost silent moan.

When you both pulled away, you were panting, instantly want more. “So I can’t help but noticed that you kissed me back. Does that mean you feel the same way about me?” He was trying to catch his breath. He finally was able to say “I’ve felt the same way since that day you comforted me after my dad was on my case.” You were incredibly happy but at the same time wondered why hadn’t he just said something.

“Y/N, your eyes are beautiful. Every time I see them I get so lost in them.” You started to blush with butterflies forming in your stomach, once again. He lifted his thumb to his lip and gently wiped “strawberry lipstick, you should wear it more often. So every time I kiss you, it will taste this sweet.”

You don't have to say you love me

You don't have to say nothing

You don't have to say you're mine

You were immediately startled when Sarah came into the kitchen. How long had you been thinking about that night at the boneyard? Suddenly she ran and gave you the biggest hug with Kie right behind her. They both were screaming nonsense. “SARAH CAMERON AND KIARRA CARRERA, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT!!?” They both looked at you with wide grins and Kie said “How would you like to go to midsummers with me.”

You couldn’t trust your voice, so you started nodding profusely. You all started screaming practically bursting your own eardrums. Wait. Rafe. You quickly glanced around to see him sitting there with the biggest smirk on his face. You couldn’t tell what it was for but you knew he was excited for you.

They both half screamed and half cried about going shopping. Seeing as though midsummers was in a few days. “Come on Y/N, now it’s time we pick out your hairstyle.” Oh God, you were not prepared for this. You told the girls you would head up in a second.

As soon as they left, Rafe was at your side. He held you in a tight hug that let you know he was very excited for you. You couldn’t help feeling a little bit sad that you weren’t going to midsummers with Rafe but you weren’t going to complain. “Y/N, I’m really happy for you baby. I know you’re going to be absolutely gorgeous, per usual.” You knew Rafe could read you like a book so he could sense a little disappointment from you.

“Listen to me Y/N, I know that it’s hard with me being a Kook and you being a Pogue. I know people say that the two sides shouldn’t be together but that doesn’t change how I feel about you. I would never force you into anything you didn’t want to do. At any moment you could leave me. I know that I’m not as good as you. You don’t have to say anything, I just want you to know that you mean more than you will ever know to me.”

Honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Oh, honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

You kissed him on the nose. “Rafe, I care for you so much, and I feel the same way about you. I’m not going to leave you, baby, I-“ You were then interrupted by Sarah screaming your name. “I’m coming SARAH!” You kissed him in his forehead and told him it was going to be okay, and with that, you went up to the middle Cameron’s room.

Kie had a curling iron in her hair and told you to sit down. “So Y/N, I think we should go shopping later tonight because midsummers are tomorrow.” WHAT? You had thought it was in a few days, not tomorrow. You quickly replied “What are we doing just sitting here, there’s no time to do hair. I need a dress!!” You definitely had some money from working at the wreck. You knew you would need it for something special, this was definitely that occasion.

You slipped on your brown and navy sandals, screaming a Kie and Sarah to hurry the hell up. Rafe was on the couch scrolling through his phone, when he saw you he shot you a wink. Sarah and Kie grabbed their things and you all were out the door.

When you arrived at the first store it looked so surreal. There were diamonds and pearls everywhere. In the corners, there were long luxurious dresses. Nothing really stuck out to you but it was smart to try on dresses to get an idea of what you want. By the 5th store, you all were exhausted but Sarah insisted you tried on a long red dress with a slit on the left. When you zipped it up, you turned around and saw yourself in the dress. You were beautiful. You stepped out for the girl to see and they were ecstatic. That was the one.

On your way home you guys saw a thin red flower crown with a hint of green. You decided you would borrow Sarah’s gold heels. The outfit you picked was beautiful and you silently cheered knowing Rafe would see you.

You remember the first time you and Rafe almost got caught with each other. Rafe had texted you and told you to sneak over through his window. You had successfully made it but he had an unexpected visit from Kelce. So you hid in his closet trying to be as silent as possible while Kelce talked about some girl he fucked. At that moment you wished you were anywhere but there. When he finally left, after what felt like hours you just wanted to cuddle.

You laid on his chest, while he rubbed small circles on your back. Then he went into a rant of “he wouldn’t care if you guys got caught” and “he would walk through hell just to be with you” or “I adore you so much, baby girl.” You knew he was saying this because you had to hide in a closet for hours. You kissed his nose and said, “baby it’s fine, I made it out alive.”

Your wonder under summer skies

Brown skin and lemon over ice

Would you believe it?

When you, Sarah, and Kie arrived at the Cameron’s you guys were exhausted. Kie took off and said his parents needed her home. Then it was your turn to depart “by Sarah, I’ll see you tomorrow at MIDSUMMERS.” She elbowed you in the stomach. As you were walking out the door Rafe came out of nowhere and offered you a ride home. You gave him a confused look but agreed. Sarah of course thought nothing of it.

When you guys got in the car you said “Rafe, what if Sarah found out.” You knew that she probably hadn’t but it still crossed your mind. You were so deep in thought about everything that happened today, you didn’t realize the car had stopped. Wait...this wasn’t your house. “Rafe, what are we doing at the beach?” He grabbed your hand and happily said “thought we could spend some time together.” God, he was absolutely adorable.

As you ran out of the car to a place that looked secluded, Rafe let the moment sink in. You were really his. You looked beautiful under the sunset of the summer sky. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky or why he was blessed with you. His thoughts were soon gone when you screamed “HURRY UP RAFE, YOU’RE SO SLOW.”

You don't have to say you love me

I just wanna tell you something

Lately, you've been on my mind

When he finally found his way to the rock you were sitting on he said “Y/N, I need to talk to you about something.” He thought this was the perfect opportunity to pull a little prank on you. You looked at him with adoration in your eyes then suddenly they turned dark when he said the words “I’m back on coke, I relapsed.” You thought he was joking at first but this is something you guys don’t joke about.

Before you and Rafe were dating you knew he did coke. You knew that it was a daily occurrence. Everyone could see it destroying his life. It mentally hurt you to see him like that so one day you told him to decide between you and coke. That day he stopped, he’s been sober for 4 months. You told him if he ever went back to coke you were leaving him because it took a toll on you. It depressed you to see him like that all the time. All of a sudden your ears were ringing, you started to see red.

You started to talk then paused to keep composure. “Did you do it willingly?” He responded with “I’ve been doing it for a while, I’ve been visiting Barry and getting it from him. He was laughing so hard on the inside while your heart was breaking. You started to cry and sob because you knew he had just ruined the relationship. “Y/N! IM KIDDING, THIS WAS PRANK.”

You looked him in the eyes and replied “You’re disgusting, Rafe Cameron.” You hurriedly got your bags from his car and started walking to your parent's home.

“Y/N, please. Wait. I just wanted to play a little joke on you. I didn’t mean any harm.” You were relieved it was a prank but you were furious. It had caused you so much pain before. You didn’t want to see him or talk to him. “Rafe if you care about me, you will leave me the hell alone this instant. With that, he drove away. He fucked up bad and he knew it.

Honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Oh, honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

You went home and furiously slammed the door to your room and started sobbing. How could he pull a joke on you like that? Maybe you were overreacting a little but when he was on coke it killed you on the inside. You had seen your boyfriend slowly killing himself. Even if I was just an innocent little prank it still brought back memories. These memories were the ones you wish you could forget.

Your phone started buzzing in your pocket. You knew who it was but you couldn’t talk to him, not right now. You sent it to voicemail and he called back 1...2..3..4..5..6 times. You just decided to shut off your phone and take a shower. When the heat of the shower hit your back it instantly soothed you. You took about 30 mins just to relax, then you got out and did your nightly routine. You curled up in your bed and finally turned your phone back on.

You were in shock there were tons of missed calls and texts from Rafe. There were only a few texts from the rest of the Pogue group chat. When you went to Sarah’s messages it said “hey, did something happen with you and Rafe because he’s been a crying mess since he got home.” You instantly replied, “nothing I can think of.” It hurt you that you made him feel that way but it wasn’t your fault. He really hit a memory inside that you wished to forget. You decided it was best to call him back.

You called and the phone rang for half a second before he was on the line. Y/N? His voice cracked, he sounded like he had been crying for hours. “Yeah, Rafe it’s me.” You could hear him exhale on the other side of the phone in relief.

“Listen, baby, I’m so sorry for pulling that stupid joke on you. I really didn’t mean any harm. I know that something that I’m not supposed to joke about and I don’t know why I did it. I know the mental toll it took and you. I felt so bad knowing that you were at home sobbing your heart out and I couldn’t hold you. Y/N, please I would do anything to make you stop hurting. Please forgive me? I swear I’ll be more careful.”

You sighed knowing he had no bad intentions. “Yeah Rafe, I forgive you. Just please don’t even joke with me like that again. You know that broke me into pieces.” He replied, “I promise, I promise, I will never ever do that to you ever again.”

Then he said “so can I come over because I still feel bad and I really want to see you.”

You thought this was the perfect time to tease him, “you can see me tomorrow when I come over to your house to get ready for midsummers.”

He huffed in annoyance, “but I want to see you now!!”

“Byeeee Rafe, I’ll see you tomorrow!” Then you hung up on him. You could imagine his face at that moment, shocked but wanting more. It was late so you decided to go to bed, trying to contain your excitement for tomorrow.

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Oh, honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

You woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing. There were only a few people it could be but you secretly hoped it was the eldest Cameron sibling. Nope, it was actually the middle Cameron sibling. You saw a text from her that said “Get your lazy ass over here, we’ve got midsummers to get ready for.” You groaned, eyes still puffy from crying last night. So you got up brushed your teeth and got dressed. You grabbed your bags from yesterday then headed to the Cameron’s.

You dang the doorbell several times and you heard Rafe holler, “I’m coming, chill out.” He definitely didn’t know it was you, he probably assumed it was Kie or something. When he opened the door his face went into a frown. He sees your puffy eyes and palish face from crying. You gave him a small smile and you were about to say something but Sarah came to the door and dragged you upstairs.

She had her hair done and she makes up done. She looked absolutely gorgeous. You always wanted to be as beautiful as the Kook princess. She told you countless times you were soooo pretty but you were just very insecure. “Okay, so how should I do your hair?” I think just leave it down and straighten it. So you went and took another shower, you made sure to moisturize and all that good stuff.

Sarah sat you down at her vanity and started blow-drying your hair. After she was done with that she plugged up the flat iron. She suspiciously went and closed her door then she said “Y/N we need to talk.” Oh God, not that sentence again.

“So what’s going on between you and my brother.” You practically choked on your spit and said “what do you mean.” She looked at you with knowing eyes while continuing to do your hair.

“Y/N, I’m not stupid. I see the glances you give each other. I hear him talk to you on the phone, all the time! He was crying last night and this morning you show up with puffy eyes! I’d rather you tell me then lie to me about it.” She had an expression you couldn’t read at the moment.

“Okay Sarah, you want to know? Rafe and I have been seeing each other for a few months.” Her mouth dropped. Then she put on a little cocky smile of hers.

She screamed “I KNEW IT!! I mean I didn’t know it but I did know it. Y/N, if you really care about him then I’m not mad. I don’t know why in hell you would want to be with him but that’s your choice. I’m really happy for you.” You got up and hugged her really hard. She was so sweet. You muttered, “Sarah you are amazing.”

You decided you wanted a snack before you got your make up done. So you and Sarah went downstairs and you decided to get an apple. You saw Rafe sitting at the bar, so you decided it would be the perfect time to get him back for his “prank.” You made sure Sarah was in the room then you went up to him and kissed him. He didn’t push you away, he only deepened the kiss.

You pulled away and said, “you know your sister is right there, right?” He glanced at her and said back “I really didn’t care, if you wanted to kiss then we were going to kiss.”

Sarah eyed both of you and said “hey, just because I know doesn’t mean you two can get all lovey-dovey. I going to go and give you guys a minute. Y/N come upstairs when you’re done.” She then went back upstairs.

Rafe looked at you and said, “so you told her?”

“No, I didn’t, you’re just not good at hiding us.” He elbowed you then you giggled.

His face went serious. He looked at you for a second then said “I’m so sorry for what I did yesterday. I felt horrible. I thought you were going to break up with me, even though you should’ve. I really shouldn’t have done that. It hurt me so bad to know you were crying and I couldn’t comfort you.”

You looked at him with testy eyes and said “it’s okay baby.” He got up and hugged you so tight.

He wasn’t letting go so you had to say “alright I’m going to let Sarah do my make up now. I’m going to get dressed.” He gave you a kiss and then you were off to go.

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Oh, honey

Oh, honey

Before you knew it you were dressed and people were arriving at the house. You weren’t going to lie, you looked really good. Kie suddenly swung open the door to Sarah’s room. She saw you and her jaw dropped, “wowww my date looks hot.” You giggled and grabbed Kie’s hand.

You both walked over to where Pope was working and decided to chat. People were staring at you and it made you uncomfortable. Although there was nothing you could do so you just decided to have a good time. You heard applause and you turned around to see what all the commotion was about. Then you saw him.

He was with the rest of his family, he looked miserable. Then your eyes met and his face visibly heated up. He had a baby blue suit on, he cleaned up really nice. To be honest the entire Cameron family looked like they were out of a photoshoot. You gave Rafe a small smile and he was blushing, it was obvious the effect you had on him.

Ward gave a small speech then the Cameron family went all separate ways. Topper and Sarah were arguing about something. Pope and JJ were working. Kie was with her mother and father talking of God knows what. Then it was just you. You gasped when you felt someone come up behind you and say “want to dance.” It was Rafe.

“Rafe, you know we can’t dance. People will find out about us.”

He looked at you with a small smile and said “maybe I want them to know.” You eyed him suspiciously then you decided he had no alternative motive. Well, it was time. He took your hand and you both walked over the dance floor. Your hands were around his neck and he had him on your waist.

“Rafe...people are staring at me.” You said quietly. He leaned down and whispered in your ear “Well let them stare, you’re beautiful.” Then he kissed the top of your head.

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

After a few dances, you decided it was time to go back to your seat. Kie rushed to your side “so that’s new?” Then Sarah replied, “no it’s not, it’s been going on for about 4 months.”

You turned to her and said, “actually about 6.” They both looked at you shocked. Kie had a blank expression and she looked at you and said “why him?” You knew that was a loaded question. There were so many reasons you chose him. Maybe it was that he was a generally kind person once you got to know him. Maybe it was the fact that when your asleep he talks to you, but you just pretend you’re asleep. Perhaps it was the way he changed when he met you. He no longer bothered the Pogues, he was off the coke, and he learned to control his hot head.

There was only one thing that could possibly explain it “I chose him because I love him.” You smiled there way. They looked at you with a startled expression, then behind you with a startled expression. They both snickered, then ran off. You stood up and turned around and Rafe was standing there with a startled expression. “Shit” was all you muttered.

“Y/N, you love me?” You muttered sheepishly “yeah I do”

Oh, honey

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

“Y/N, I think. NO. I know I love you too” You gave him the biggest smile. You lent in and kissed him, people started staring. There were oohs and ahhs, some even gasped. He whispered in your ear “want to get out of here?” You smiled and gave him a yes. He took your hand and you both headed towards the beach.

He could tell you were having a hard time walking with your dress and all so he grabbed your bridal style. You both settled on a pier looking over the water.

You were watching the water but you could tell her was staring at you. Then he said, “I hope our kids never have to hide their love.” Wait did he just say, kids?

You turned and looked at him “our kids?”

He looked at you sheepishly and said “yes I want kids, do you?” You leaped up and attacked him with hugs and kisses. That was a definite yes. “I love you Rafe.” he smiled into your lips and said, “I love you too baby.”

He truly adored every piece of you.

@drewswannabegirl @snkkat @nina1800

@drewsephsmiles @annedub @peoples-trash

@obx-direction-sos @lahey-paradise

@girlsru1eboysdroo1 @gimmethejohnd

@elegant-daisy @sortagaysortahigh

@afterglowsb-tch13 @country-club

@starrystarkey93 @trashmouthpogues

[kuronanox]

Not enough - Byakuya Kuchiki

It amazed her that thee Kuchiki Byakuya was actually interested in her, it was so surreal. Everything came naturally, their conversations and body language was like they were in tune together. Everyone could see that he was finally finding some type of peace after hisana's passing. Everyone but the royal and noble housing even after hisana's passing they blame it on her being a commoner and now the horrible treatment was getting thrown at (Your Name) now.

No one has ever verbally abused her infront of Byakuya but when he was gone they talked down and degraded her. She would just ignore them and go on about her day. The first few months  were fine because no one knew they were dating but once the relationship started getting serious and she moved into the Kuchiki manor the negative comments came left and right into her head. Of course she didn't tell Byakuya and most of the time she stayed closed to him so she wouldn't have to hear the abusing comments.

It was another fall morning as they strolled around the manor getting fresh air. "What is your favorite season (Your Name)." Byakuya ask calmly as they walked side by side admiring the green plants and flowers turning a beautiful autumn red. "Hmm the time between fall and winter, it's never to cold or hot!" She smiles and grabs his arm gently as she hugs it as they continue striding around the manor. Of course as nobles showing affection wasn't allowed but she didn't care and as long as she was happy Byakuya didn't mind the gesture either. "I see." He replies as it turns to a comfortable silence between them.

"Have you talked to rukia recently?" She brings up looking at him now with worried eyes. "Of course, she's doing fine with the human substitute shinigami in the world of living right now." He answers reassuring her their relationship as gotten better by time.

"Hmm someone has gotten soft." She jokes and squeezes him tightly as he eyes widen a little bit and he softly smiles without her knowing of course, but the hug gets cut short as she sees a few elders walking towards them as she quickly pulls away from the affection and awkwardly bow and stays behind Byakuya. The elders speak to him about important matters about the Kuchiki house and he exchanges a few words. Byakuya looks at (Your Name) and he recently began to notice that her reitsu would fluctuate everytime she was around a royal or noble that didn't allow their relationship. Cutting the conversation short he gently grabs her hands with his and walks past the elders.

She looks at their hands and blushes softly. This was the first time he had ever showed affection towards her infront of anyone. "I'm sorry you don't have to do that... you know. I know the nobles don't like it." She starts loosening her grip now as his tighten. "When has that ever stopped you?" He asks now curious.

Byakuya knew she was always a loud mouth and her manners were certainly not presentable to other nobles. She liked to show her curves, didn't like wearing fancy clothes, did her own chores and curses a whole bunch, but for some reason that made him like her even more when they first met each other. Byakuya liked her because she possessed all the qualities he didn't have or wasn't allowed to do because it was unacceptable for the head of the clan to have.

"I know it's just, I don't want people to talk... you know." She sadly says and walks ahead a few steps before he silently follows her. "Oh I'm going out with Matsumoto tonight, girls night!" She smiles now changing the mood between them now.

"YEAH AND THEN THE OLD BITCH HAD THE NERVE TO TELL ME THAT I WAS FAT AND MY FACE WAS TO BIG! AND IM LIKE AT LEAST IM NOT WALKING CLOSER TO MY GRAVE EACH DAY!" (Your Name) screams to Matsumoto, Nanao and Hinamori.

"She didn't!" Hinamori exclaims covering her mouth like a gossip girl.

"She did honey!"

"Ugh nobles, thats why you gotta go for the ugly guys and then you make them hot." Matsumoto shakes her head and pours another shots for them. Nanao facepalms and says "Everytime we meet up they always have something negative to say, why not just tell Kuchiki taicho?"

"Fuck that, I'm so tired of having to filter myself at the manor too! LIKE I WANT TO SCREAM FUCK, SHIT, BITCH BUT I CANT!"

Hinamori just laughs as Matsumoto takes the shot and nods furiously!

"Jesus." Nanao says just giving up.

"But you do anything for the one you love." (Your Name) softly says taking shot number 7. "Same." Matsumoto sulks as they both start crying together.

"So I'm guessing we are walking them home again." Nanao says as Hinamori just happily pour more shots for the two girls sulking across from her.

(Your name) safely gets back to the manor with the help of Hinamori, she was drunk but she was still able to recognize and act like she was normal. "Will Kuchiki taicho be upset that you drank a lot?"

"Nah, he's probably asleep anyways, thank you I'll take my leave now!" She smiles and gets into the manor.

Although it was hard to act sober she took her time to walk into their bedroom. There were still some maids and servants doing some choirs so she avoided them at all cost so she didn't look like a fool to them and ruin Byakuya image. Turning the corner to their room one of the oldest head maid was taking out the tea pot from the place.

"Drunk again I see." She sternly says with hatred in her eyes as (Your Name) just ignores the comment and proceeds to go into the room. The old lady prohibits her from entering. "You won't go in."

"Move or I'll move you myself." (Your Name) threaten to the lady as she doesn't bulge.

"You are only here because Byakuya Sama allows you to stay, but to everyone else in this house you bring disgrace and tarnish our name. You are a vulgar lady with no manners and inconsiderate, rude and foul mouth."

Byakuya stirs in his sleep waking up from talking coming out from infront of his room.

"And? I'm a hundred percent sure he knows how I am already, why do you care how I am. Yes I'm a commoner-" (Your Name) proceeds to argue but the older maids interrupts with a statement that broke her self confidence.

"At least Hisana Sama didn't go around and tarnish the name, she was lady like and knew how to contain herself unlike you."

(Your Name) hesitantly eyes widen she was sadden, no one had ever talked about Hisana. Behind closed door she was always being compared, she knew but no one was going to compare (Your Name) to another person let alone a past lover.

"You know, I get we are two different person but I'm sure she wouldn't have approve of you talking down about commoners because we know the struggle of having to act perfect all the time and keeping a imagine so we don't look bad for the family name. You wouldn't know old lady because you've never been discriminated. I know damn well everyday we tried our best for Byakuya and I'm glad she is in a better place and not down here where she would have still gotten the same treatment as me."

Byakuya had enough of the arguing as he swiftly gets out of the futon and towards the door before he stops when he hears (Your Name) continuing to defend him.

"If you ever wonder why Byakuya always act so cold is probably because he has to act perfect for the family and he carries the burden of our imagine and you guys give him shit for every little thing he does but he sucks it up because he was taught to. You guys don't see the sleepless nights he gets and the fights he put up to protect his people he loves. I won't stand here letting you talk down about me and his relationship when he has been the happiest since the death of his late wife. I won't let you take away his happiness. You guys think you know him but y'all don't know a thing. Weather you like it or not I'm leaving." (Your Name) passionately says to the old women as she angrily spoke up.

"You jus-"

Byakuya roughly opens the door to see a flushed (Your Name) and the head maid standing face to face. The maid not allowing her to enter the room. "That's enough, leave now." He harshly tells the head maid as she bows and apologize as she gives a sour look towards the girl before leaving.

There was an awkward silence in the air as she looks down and speaks. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be talking to the elders like that. I just got frustrated. I'll sleep at Matsumoto place tonight." She offered proceeding to walk away.

Byakuya grabs her hands and place them with his as he kisses her forehead and pulls her into a hug. "Why haven't you told me anything?" He asks as she calmly hugs him back and tears fall down. "You know I would have said something if you would have just communicate to me."

(Your Name) doesn't say anything as he rubs her back and leads her into bed with him. "I fell in love with you because of how you are, you don't have to act anymore." He proceeds to says as she gently nods.

Byakuya softly smiles and kisses her forehead again. "We deal with this together my love."

[nicolewoo]

All Along

Pairing: Joe Anoa’i X Reader, Roman Reigns X Reader

Warning: Talk of sex and an erection. Lots of cussing

I had been moved up to Smackdown a couple months ago. Becky was super excited to see me. We'd wrestled in Canada together years ago and had become great friends. Becky made it so easy to get to know everyone. She spent most of her time with Seth (I still wasn't used to calling him Colby), which meant that Joe (Roman) and I spent a lot of time together. We bonded almost immediately and were practically inseparable. When we weren't busy, you could always find us together. We were becoming the best of friends. We ate together, we hung out together, we were always hugging, touching and tickling each other. Most of the talent at WWE was physically affectionate, especially Joe who flirted with everyone, so I never thought anything of it.

When Smackdown ended up in Tampa for the Thanksgiving break, the four of us decided to host Thanksgiving at Joe's house for anyone who wasn't going home. That was about 25 people. Joe invited Colby, Becky and I to stay at his house. I offered to cook the meal, but since I was the only one who knew how to make Thanksgiving dinner, I was going to end up doing all the work. Joe decided that I deserve to relax and ordered dinner from a restaurant.

Everyone had a great time, laughing and joking. It warmed my heart to be able to host people who had nowhere to go for the holiday. Joe commented on it too. “We did good.” He said as he wrapped an arm around my waist and I nodded in agreement. Even though we ate at 4, guests stayed long into the night. Once the guests left, we began cleaning up the kitchen. I was putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher, while the four of us talked.

Joe was on other side of kitchen, leaning over an butcher-block island nursing a scotch he'd poured a while ago. Colby and Becky sat on kitchen stools picking at he turkey leftovers before we put them away. Joe was telling the most embarrassing Colby stories he could think of, so Becky and I could hear.

“So we're sneaking into the arena late, because this dingbat had to order his double fluffy chai, soy, whatever coffee. We were trying not to get caught. All of a sudden, we turn the corner and Colby sees Vince. He freaks out and spills his fancy coffee drink all down my back.”

“Wait Wait Wait!” Colby stopped him. You can't blame that on me.” He turned to Becky and said, “There was a cat that darted out in front of me.”

“Yeah right! Nobody else saw a cat.” Roman said as he sipped his drink. “You were just scared of Vince.”

Colby protested, “I was not!”

“Either way,” Joe continued, “So now, I'm supposed to go in the ring to do this promo, but it flat out looks like I shit myself.”

At that, Becky broke into laughter and backhanded Colby in the stomach. “No!”

Colby joined in, “Dean just about fell over laughing. He's pointing at Joe's pants and saying it 'looks like you pooped yourself' over and over again.”

Joe chuckled, “Hey, that ended up working out in our favor. Vince got so concerned about finding me clean clothes, he never realized we were late.”

“You're kidding.” I chimed in.

“Nope.” Said Colby. “We got off lucky.” He emptied his glass of wine. “I'm going to go get another glass. Does anyone want anything?”

“I'll go with you,” Becky said.

That left just Joe and I in the kitchen. He looked at me for a minute still smiling from the story he'd just told. Then there was a dead moment in the conversation.

“I don't know how to start this dishwasher.” I said.

“I'll get it.” He came over and hit a few buttons and the woosh of the machine began. Joe turned around and leaned against the counter next to me. He put his arm around my waist and I leaned my head onto his shoulder.

“This was a fantastic idea. I think everyone had a great time.” He said softly to me.

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“Thanks for helping me host it. I couldn't have done it without you.” As a thank you, he pressed a kiss onto the top of my head.

I picked my head back up and looked at him. “Oh, you could have done it yourself.” I assured him.

He smiled big, turned to me and placed his hand on my cheek. “It wouldn't have been the same without you.” He paused for a second and his voice quieted down to almost a whisper. “I'm really happy you came to Smackdown. I appreciate your friendship so much.” His smile faded, and was replaced with an expression I'd never seen from him. Tentatively, he grazed his thumb over my cheek and brushed my lips with it, his eyes watching it trail over my lip.

In that instance, I panicked. Was this what I thought it was? Dare I hope? Joe's friendship meant so much to me, but I couldn't deny the ever growing attraction I had for him. I was trying desperately to figure out what to do when his thumb stopped on my bottom lip and pressed downward so my lips parted. He ran his thumb over my lip again the pad of it now covering the whole lip and leaving a trail of heat behind it.

“Joe,” I started to say, but before I could talk, he leaned in and pressed the most gentle, loving kiss on my lips. It took my breath away. He pulled back and looked at me. When he took a deep breath, I knew the kiss had affected him as much as it did me. I leaned in and kissed him, longer this time. His arms circled around my waist as I ran my hands over his back.

We both pulled away for a second, searching each other's eyes, trying to gauge how the other felt. When Joe leaned in again, it wasn't a soft gentle kiss. It was hot, passionate and full of need. My body blazed at the feel of him against me. I parted my mouth, and he slid his tongue in. He tasted so good.  He moaned as he deepened the kiss more, his right hand going into my hair, his body began pressing me up against the counter. I was overcome by desire, and I pressed harder against him trying to get closer.

We heard Becky's laugh and pulled apart from each other. Joe had a second to look into my eyes before Colby and Becky came in. When they did, he was beside me against the counter as if nothing had happened.

Everything in me was on fire, and I was sure they would notice the tension between Joe and me, but Becks was in the middle of a story when they came in. I looked over at Joe who was still a little breathless. I noticed his hand gently brush his pants to adjust to his semi-hard penis. I smirked at him and he smiled back.

“Guys, I'm beat.” Becky began. “Do you need any more help?” she asked.

Both of us tried to answer at the same time. “No.” he said at the same time I said “We've got this.”

“You two are hanging out together too much. You're starting to think alike,” Colby joked.

“I'm tired too.” Joe added. “I think I'll be right behind you.” He said as they bid us goodnight.

We listened as they walked away. I waited until I was sure they couldn't hear us. “Joe. What....” I started, but he turned to me and held me pressing his forehead to mine. His jaw tensed as he tried to fight his desire.

“I'm sorry. I....” He trailed off.

I placed my hand to his cheek as I pulled back a tiny bit to look into his eyes. I smiled at him warmly. “It's ok.”

“I can't hide my feelings any longer.” He kissed me again. “I'm crazy about you. I have been since the minute I saw you.” He whispered, his lips still on mine.

"Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn't want to ruin our friendship.” He said lovingly. “What if you hadn't felt the same way?”

“But I do,” I looked up at him. “I have all along.”

That brought the biggest smile to his face, and that made me smile big too. He kissed me again, then wrapped me in a giant bear hug. Joe's hugs always made me feel so safe and so warm. “I'm so happy, baby girl.”

The pet name made me smile bigger. “Sooooooo what now?” I asked.

He was grinning ear to ear. “I don't know, but I really am tired. Maybe we should sleep on it.”

“I'm tired too.” I answered.

“Then why don't we go to bed.... separately, and figure out what the next step is tomorrow after Colby and Becky leave?” He smoothed a hand over my back.

I nodded. “That sounds great.”

Joe kissed me one more time as we paused in front of my bedroom door. “Night baby girl.”

“Goodnight.”

I went to bed with the hugest smile on my face. I couldn't believe all this time Joe liked me. I mean yeah, he flirted with me, but he flirted with everyone. My mind thought back to every hug, every time he held my hand, every time we'd snuggled together watching a movie...... all of the time we'd spent together trying not to let the other know how we felt. Wasted time. And now... now that I know... now that he knows.... He's just a few feet away from me. If I go to his room now, what would happen? What did I want to happen? What would he want to happen?  My brain wouldn't stop churning, no matter how tired my body was.

I slipped out of bed and paced my room for a minute; considering my options. If I did sneak into his room, I'd probably find him asleep. I could just curl up into his arms. Colby and Becky wouldn't have to know I was in there. I could slip back into my room before they saw me.

My body yearned for him, and my heart yearned too. I wanted to feel him beside me. Would I be able to just snuggle with him now that I know how he feels? What would he think if he woke up? Question after question rolled through my head, and I didn't have answers. I knew only one thing. I wanted to be close to him. I needed to be close to him. I slipped out of my bedroom and went to his. I expected to find him sound asleep snoring, but instead, the second I opened the door, he shot up in bed. He'd been awake too.

“Come here.” He said and pulled the covers back. I snuggled into his arms.

“I couldn't sleep. I wanted to be near you so bad.”

He smoothed his hand down my back. “Me too. I wasn't sure if I should go to you or not. I'm glad you came here.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Let's go to sleep.” I could feel his body relax in a matter of seconds and soon after, I heard a slight snore. I snuggled closer and fell asleep on his shoulder.

————————————————————————

A knock on the door woke us. I opened my eyes adjusting to being in Joe's bed. He smiled at me. “Lay flat.” He whispered with a giggle on his lips. He threw the covers over me and bunched them up a bit to hide me. Then he stuck a pillow over my head, causing us both to giggle more.

“Yeah,” Joe called out to the person at the door.

“Hey,” It was Colby. “Have you see Y/N? She's not in her room.” he asked peaking his head in the door. “Becks and I wanted to let her use the bathroom before we showered.”

“Nah, man. Maybe she went for a walk or something.” Joe said smoothing his hand over his face. I did my best to lay perfectly still.

Colby obviously didn't think there was any chance I was with Joe, and he didn't look for me me in the darkened room, so he didn't notice the lump in Joe's bed.

“She can use my bathroom if she needs it.” Joe replied. “Go ahead and shower.”

“Thanks man.” Colby quickly exited.

Once he was gone, I flung the pillow off my face and into Joe's. “What do you think you're doing, baby girl?” He quirked an eyebrow as he laid next to me. We both broke out in laughter; trying to stay quiet. He leaned in for a sweet kiss, a chuckle still on his mouth. “Good morning. How did you sleep?”

I stretched my legs out, “Once I came in here, I slept well. How about you?”

“Exactly the same here.” He smiled and kissed me again. “We should try to sneak you back to your room before Colby and Becks get done with their showers.”

I snuggled closer to Joe's chest. “I don't want to leave this bed. EVER.”

I expected another chuckle, but instead he hooked a finger under my chin and raised my face to look at him. “I don't either. Trust me! but we should.” He kissed the tip of my nose.

He was right. I knew that, but I wasn't going to leave his bed without one last kiss. I looked into his big brown eyes and ran my fingers through his hair as I moved toward him for a kiss. He leaned in and placed a sweet, tender kiss on my lips that quickly turned into something much deeper, much warmer, much more passionate. I ignored the feeling of his growing appendage as it brushed my thigh.

“I gotta stop.” He pulled away breathing heavily. He paused to catch his breath. “Can we have lunch here today? Take some time to talk?” He asked. I agreed, and he got up. Throwing a shirt on, he asked, “What are you going to tell them?” He nodded toward Colby and Becky's room.

I had already thought it out. “If I can get back to my room, I'll get dressed quickly and say I just got back from running errands.”

“So we're going to start lying to our friends?” He quirked an eyebrow and I felt a pang of guilt. My friends knew I hated lying. I detested it.

“Joe,” I got up and wrapped my arms around him. “Just for a few hours until we can talk. After we talk, I've got no trouble telling Colby and Becks about this.”

“Good point.” He placed his forehead to mine. “Meet you here at noon?” I agreed.

He brushed some hair behind my shoulder. “Go get ready, baby girl, before they are out of the shower.” He peeked out the door and confirmed the hallway was empty. I quickly slipped out of his room into mine.

———————————————————————

After working out, coming back to his house and showering, Joe and I finally settled down to eat and talk. There were a few awkward moments as we tried to figure out what to say.

“I... uh... like I said last night, I'm crazy about you. I want to be together with you.” He looked unsure of how to continue.

“What do you mean “together with” me?” It was a fair question. “Are we talking about sex, a relationship or what?”

“No. Not sex.. well, yeah, I want to have sex with you....” He looked down at the floor but peeked up at me. “I mean in time...uh....” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck “when we're ready, but I want to date you.” He finally said.

That brought a smile to my lips and he perked up a bit, looking less scared. “I want that too.” I agreed.

He reached his hand across the table and held mine. “Do..... do we tell other people?” he asked.

I thought for a second before deciding, “We don't lie.” He smiled again. “Let's just go on like we are, and if someone asks, we tell the truth.”

“Baby, I get asked if we're dating ALLLLL the time.” He smirked at me. “It doesn’t help that I can’t keep my hands off you.”

I thought I saw a hint of a blush cross his face. “Do you want to handle this another way?”

“No. I'm just sayin'. If we do it your way, the whole roster will know by the second match.” He chuckled. “I seriously get asked all the time.”

“Babe, would you say we're best friends?” I asked.

“You know it, sweetheart.” He looked questioningly at me. “Why?”

“Well, if someone asks, and you don't want to talk about our relationship, you can truthfully tell them that we are best friends.” I smiled warmly at him as I ran my thumb over his knuckles.

“Good idea.” He said smiling warmly at me. “We're going to have to tell Colby and Becks though. You know that? After the show tonight?” He asked and I agreed. He got up from his seat and came to my side. “Are you done eating?” He reached for my mostly empty plate.

“Yeah. I'm full.” I answered.

He took both of our plates to the kitchen counter and came back to grab my hand. “Feel like watching a movie?”

“That sounds great.” I answered, standing up and letting him lead me to the couch. We snuggled close as we always did, but this time it felt so much more meaningful. It wasn't unusual for us to kiss each other's hands, cheeks, temples, but this time, I got to kiss his lips... the lips I'd thought of kissing so many times before. Each kiss though started a fire in me that was hard to suppress. In time... when we're ready he'd said earlier, and he was right. We had to wait until we were both ready.... no matter how much my body ached for him.

—————————————————————————

Becky stood with her arms crossed in front of her. She had a puzzled look on her face as she stared first at Joe and then at me. “What happened after we went to bed last night?”

“Nothing.” I answered with a straight face. “Why?”

“Well, for starters, you weren't in your room this morning. Now you told me you were running errands,” she began pacing a bit, tapping her finger on her bottom lip like she was a detective at Scotland Yard about to reveal the murderer in an old movie. “but I know that you would rather have a tooth pulled than to go shopping on Black Friday. Then we get here and you two are acting all weird.” She looked to Colby who shook his head in agreement.

“Weird? How are we acting weird?” Joe asked trying to hide a smirk.

“Normally you two can't keep your hands off each other. You're always hugging or snuggling....”

Colby chimed in. “But today... I don't think I've seen you two touch at all.” He looked back at Becky prodding her to agree.

She confirmed that we hadn’t touched. “Did you two have a fight or something?” Becky asked.

“No. We're good.” I couldn't hold my smile back as much as I wanted.

“OH HOHOHOHO!” Becky proclaimed when she saw my smile. She turned to Colby. “I know what's going on here. They finally fucked.”

Colby's eyes got wide in realization as mine got wide in embarrassment. “FINALLY!” He said.

“No!” Roman nearly yelled. “It's not like that.” He said standing to come to me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me sweetly. “No. I just couldn't hide my feelings for her any longer.” He looked deep in my eyes. After a second, Colby's proclamation registered in his head, and he turned to his friend. “What do you mean by 'Finally'?”

“The whole company's been waiting for you two to get your heads out of your asses and admit you like each other.” Colby said nonchalantly as he started digging through his bag for something. “Wait!” He turned his gaze to me. “Were you in Ro's room this morning?” I didn't have to answer, because of the shit eating grin on both Joe and my faces. “Where were you?” He asked me.

“Next to me in bed. I covered her up with pillows.” Joe admitted.

“So, you lied to us?” Colby looked upset and Becky looked flat out mad.

“We weren't ready to tell you guys, because we hadn't had time to talk about it.” Roman tried to calm them.

“You didn't have time?” Becks asked. “How about the hours you guys spent in bed together?”

“Becks... listen... nothing happened. We both fell asleep about 5 minutes after I climbed into his bed. We decided at lunch today that we wanted to be together and that we weren't going to hide anything.”

“And we decided to tell you guys tonight after the show.” Joe added. I nodded in agreement.

“Ok. Ok. Let's back this story up. What exactly happened last night?” Colby said, and Joe told him the story.

“Man, when you went to get more wine at the end of the night, I was thanking Y/N for her help, and telling her how much I appreciate her friendship.” He ran his hand over the back of his neck. “And I just couldn't stop myself. I kissed her.” 

“Then you guys came back and said you were going to bed.” I continued the story. “We decided to go back to our own beds, but I couldn't sleep knowing Joe was so close, so I threw caution to the wind and went to snuggle with him, and we fell asleep.”

“So this morning when I came knocking?” Colby asked.

“Dude, we didn't even know what we were doing. We had kissed a few times and snuggled. That's it.”

Becky's stern face stared at me for a minute before she walked up to me. I half wondered if she was going to hit me, but instead, she wrapped her arm around my neck and pulled me into a giant hug. “I'm so happy for you.” She reached her hand out to grab Joe's hand. Colby came over to congratulate Joe, and we all ended up hugging.

Check out part 2 here!

[fearinncrow]

bad dreams // jason todd x reader

summary: jason todd, your boyfriend of 8 months, seems to have bad night terrors when you're not by his side. unfortunately, he seems to have one when you're next to him.

word count: 1396

you're right there, just out of his reach. his heart is pounding in his chest as he scrambles forward, yearning to protect you. alas, jason todd is too late. you fall, only for you to be caught by jason's strong arms before you hit the ground. your attacker escapes as he moves carefully to sit down, cradling you as you whimper weakly.

"shh, shh. it's okay baby, you're gonna be okay." his voice doesn't sound like it belongs to him anymore, it's so broken as you weep softly. "i don't want to die, jay." you croak, blood seeping from your mouth, staining your teeth. he wipes the offending liquid away, smearing if across your cheek as tears block his vision. "you- you're not gonna die baby, you're not gonna die! i can't lose you." he sobbed, clutching your hand in his as he brings you impossibly closer.

your eyes begin to dull as you smile up at him. "i love you, baby." you whisper, and he grips your hand harder, kissing the back of it. "don't get all soft now, w-we're gonna get you out of here! i promise..." he cries, kissing your forehead.

just like that, you're gone. he squeezes his eyes shut, sobbing harshly as he loses his grip of your cold body. when he opens them, he jolts up from his bed, gasping loudly as he observes the familiar room that was his apartment bedroom.

"jason?" he hears, and looks over at you. you're wiping the sleep from your eye as you gaze up at him. your eyes are so soft when you look at him, so full of life. you're alive.

he lets out a happy sob, wiping at his eyes as you sit up. "baby, what's wrong?" you ask softly, sitting up and offering him a hug. he accepts it, swallowing your smaller frame in his arms and holding you tightly as he pets the back of your head with one hand, the other clutching the back of your shirt. "talk to me baby, what happened?" you whisper into his ear as he cries quietly into your shoulder. you'd never seen him so vulnerable, so broken.

"it's just a bad dream, don't worry, baby." he replies, sniffling and pulling back to give you a loving kiss. "it helps to talk about nightmares, jaybird. tell me." you smile softly, kissing him again and running your fingers through his hair to soothe him. he lets out a shaky breath, melting into your warmth as he kisses your neck gently. "i'm so happy you're safe." he murmurs. "jaybird, i wasn't in any danger." you chuckle. "i know, i know. it was just too real for me, i guess." he replies with a soft smile.

kissing his neck softly, you ease him into lying down again, settling in a familiar position where he was holding you close in one arm, and allowing for you and him to use his other arm as a pillow. you kept your arms around his torso, holding him close as you press your foreheads together. he closes his eyes and kisses you softly, explaining how much he loves you. you smile at his rambling, kissing the corner of his mouth. "you're rambling, jaybird." you tease, and he chuckles, voice raspy from crying and rambling.

"i know, i'm just anxious and love you so much." he smiled back. you kiss him, this time on his lips. "i love you too, jaybird." you whisper against his lips. jason hums, kissing you sweetly as he pulls you even closer. "get some sleep baby, you need it." you hum softly, your faces remaining close as you run your fingers through his hair before letting your hand caress his cheek. jason leaned into your touch, keeping your foreheads together as he fell asleep slowly.

you woke up only a few hours later, eyes fluttering open to see jason's pretty features highlighted in the morning moonlight. you take in his relaxed features, rubbing his cheek gently with your thumb. jason stirred slightly, but didn't wake as the tip of his nose brushed against yours subconsciously. you let out a happy sigh, nuzzling closer to your boyfriend. his arm was tight around your waist, keeping you secure against him, whilst the other was stilling being used as your shared pillow with you resting your head on his elbow and him fast asleep on his forearm.

you gently ran your fingers over a scar on his face, kissing his gently before moving your hand to massage his scalp lovingly. he'd never admit this, even on his deathbed, but jason loved when you ran your fingers through his hair, especially the strip he dyed white.

you tense up as he does, letting out a small noise of discomfort before your fingers can touch his hair. you see his face tighten in distress as he squeezes your waist. slowly, you move your hand back to his cheek, watching as his face softens, relaxed. he still seemed to be anxious, despite having fallen asleep. you gently caress his cheekbone, kissing his lips softly. you melt inside as he subconsciously kisses you back, shuffling slightly so you were still secure in his grip. slowly, you started to fall asleep again, your foreheads still pressed together as you lovingly stroke his cheek.

jason awoke at the sound of his phone. grunting and furrowing his brows, he rolled over (your hand falling off his cheek) to hit decline, not even bothering to check his caller. jason moved back and you huddled close to him, "what time is it?" you mumbled, still half asleep. "don't worry about it baby, try and get some more sleep." he whispered back, kissing your forehead gently. you hum, kissing his lips as you slowly started to drift off when his phone rang again.

jason sighed and rolled over to check the caller. "it's just dick." he grumbled, answering his phone and yawning as he said hello. "hey jay, just making sure you're not dead." dick's voice quietly came from the speaker on jason's phone. your boyfriend only grunted, asking his older brother why he had to call at such an early time. "dude, it's like 3pm" dick laughed. you smiled, kissing jason's jaw as he rolled his eyes. "same difference." he shrugged, holding your warm body close.

you press your forehead against jason's jaw, kissing his neck gently. you hear dick asking if you're there, and jason hummed, passing you the phone. "hey dick." you smile, relaxing into jason's body as he moved his other arm to hug you. "hey, baby sis. how's everything." you could hear the smile in dick's voice, he always looked out for you, they all did. "ah, same old. work's just as stressful." you laugh. "aw, it's only up from here darlin'" dick hummed. "say, has jay been alright, he tends to bottle thing up, you should know."

you look up at jason, who kisses your forehead gently. "he's been alright as far as i know, had a nightmare last night but other than that, he's the same old jaybird." you smile, combing your fingers through jason's hair. "damn, i'll speak to him about it if he hasn't told you."

"stop babying me, dick!" jason huffed, and you heard dick laugh loudly. "right, i'll let you go, gotta get damian ready for a doctors appointment." you furrow your brows, "what's up with dames?" you ask, swatting jason's arm when he made a comment about damian being the usual demon he always is.

"just a stomach bug, hopefully. alfred's worried, whilst bruce is all like 'he'll be fine'" dick replied, "i just wanna be sure he's alright." he added on quietly. he really did adore damian, you all did, despite him being a little shit. he was just too uptight around his father. "alright. give him our best wishes." you smile. "will do, babes, see you two around." dick hummed. "see you, dork." you laugh, as the call goes out with dick laughing.

jason took his phone back, kissing you softly. "can we stay in bed for a few more minutes?" he asked quietly, kissing your cheek, then your jaw. "dick said it's 3pm, we can't

waste this whole day." you hum, leaning your heads together. "ugh, dick's the worst." he pouted. you laugh, kissing his lips. "i suppose a few moments wont hurt."

[v1rg1nvodkasprite]

Greaser → Ben Hardy (Part X)

Summary

Due to Shenanigans, you have been sent back in time to the 1960s. You find yourself in a high school. You also find someone very intriguing but he’s unrestrained.

Warnings: language, angst, fluff, hospitalization, defibrillation, crying.

Notes: this is the last part!! thank u sm for reading and lmk what u thought of the series in comments. love u guys!! x

I pulled open the curtain, looking back at Ben in his bed and the back at the man that was getting settled into his own. They had similar facial features but the older man had grey hair and wrinkles on the side of his mouth and around his eyes. There was no way.

I looked back to Ben. What was going on? What were the odds?

"He's awake. Sir! Sir, how are you feeling?" one of the nurses asked. I stood up instantly, trying to get a better look at the man. As he started to talk, a man walked by, closing the curtains.

"Bella?" I heard Ben grasply. I turned to him, sitting down instantly. "Hey, how are you feeling? Do you want the nurse?" I asked and he shook his head.

"I don't feel so good," he whispered as I sat down. I gently brushed his hair out of his face. "I know, babe. I know," I said and held his hand.

A nurse knocked at the wall beside the curtain. "Come in," I called out, not moving my eyes from Ben.

"How is he feeling?" she asked, putting on some gloves. "Not so good, doc." he said, his voice strained. "She popped on a protective, plastic cover onto the thermometer. "Open your mouth," she instructed, placing the thermometer under his tongue.

A minute later, it beeped and she took it out of his mouth, glancing at the temperature, "Your fever has gone down to 100.6 degrees. We'll still need to monitor you and figure out what is really going on with you. I'll get someone to bring you a jello and water," she said, popping of the protective cover into the trash before walking out.

"It's not just the flu, is it Y/N?" he asked, looking up at me. I shook my head. "Apparently, your body is eating itself away," I said, my voice cracking, "I should've never let you come."

"No, babe. I wanted to. I wasn't happy where I was. I was barely living. This isn't your fault," he said, squeezing my hand. "Ben, I've only known you for what? Two weeks?" I pointed out. "Two and a half," he muttered under his breath. I scoffed.

"We barely knew what was going to happen. We hadn't even known each other for a month. It was foolish of me to let you come with me and know look at where you are!" I exclaimed, loudly. Surely the nurses walking by could hear us.

"But it isn't your fault. Who knows what this possibly could be from?" he said after sighing. "What else would it be from Ben? The man in the room across from you has the same fever as you and the same name. None of this is just coincidental," I said.

There was a prolonged silence before Ben broke it. "So, what's going to happen?" he asked. "I don't know, babe."

The curtains slide open and the nurse from earlier walked in. "Here's your jello and water. Just press this blue button if you need anything," she said. We quietly thanked her before she left.

"Please come here," Ben said rasply, "Please." He moved over in his bed, making as much space as possible so that I could fit. I laid down next to him, resting my right leg over him. His body was still warm and his heartbeat was sped up slightly.

"What if you have to go back?" I asked, without thinking. "Why would I have to, love?" he was slightly confused at my question. "What if this doesn't get better. If it's not temporary. What if it's fatal?" I rambled on.

He hugged me closer to him and kissed my forehead, "If it is then I maybe I'll go back." I didn't say anything after that. I just laid next to him listening to the sound of his heart beating and drawing circles on his chest.

After about half an hour, he had fallen asleep, exhausted from everything that had happened. I carefully got up, trying not to wake him. I walked out of his room and speaker through the curtains from the older Ben's room.

He was sleeping peacefully, just as Ben was in the other room. His hair was a bit shorter and grey. He had gained some weight and his arms had lost some of their muscle.

My eyes lowered to the ground and I backed up from out of the room. If the present Ben was here in this lifetime, could my Ben survive here as well? I wondered if that was why they were both sick. It couldn't possibly be just a coincidence.

Ben now was married, in his old age and probably had kids as well as grandkids. The chance for me with him would be if I had been born when he had, back in the early 1950s. That, or go back and be with him which I honestly didn't know if it was worth it or not. I loved him but I could just throw my life away. It wouldnt work out.

I walked back to Ben's room, curling up beside him. His arm wrapped around me and he nuzzled into my hair, half asleep. He would have to go back.

"I love you," I whispered, not intending to receive any response. Ben hummed, still half asleep.

I awoke by a nurse frantically shaking me. "You need to get up, now!" she said, almost yelling at me. I sat up and looked over. They had Ben's shirt off and he looked deadly pale. They were prepping the defibrillator.

I quickly jumped out from the bed, looking at Ben in shock. Tears welled up in my eyes. Was he dead? "Ma'am, you need to step out," one of the doctors ordered. I heard the buzzing of the electricity from the defibrillator. I backed out of the room, as they shocked Ben, making me jump.

I turned around and doctors and nurses were frantically doing the same in the older Ben's room. I slightly shook my head, sitting on floor backed up against the wall. I had to get Ben back as soon as possible.

After 15 minutes or so, they had managed to stabilize his heartbeat. The same with the man across the room. How did they not realize they had two men who had the same name and condition. A nurse mentioned that I could go in and see him which made me push the thoughts into the back of my mind.

I sat in the chair beside his bed and held his hand, moving my thumb across his knuckles. I just watched him. I would miss him so much.

A little while later, I heard rustling in a the bed and a deep groan. "Y/N," he called out. "I know, babe. I'm here. You're okay," I whispered to him and he groaned again. I squeezed his hand, assuring him that I was here.

A moment or two passed before I called out for him. "Ben, you need to go back," I told him and he nodded his head, "I know."

He moved over to make room for me in the small hospital bed. I carefully climbed in and he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me as close to him as he possibly could.

"Just one more day, please," he begged, his chest softly vibrating as he spoke. "Ben, look at you. You almost died. You did die. Who knows what will happen if you stayed here for another day," I said.

He just nodded, understanding the situation. His grip tightened on me and my fingers grazed her his hard chest. A knot in my throat started to grow and and tighten. I tried to swallow it as tears welled in my eyes. I started to quietly cry into his chest.

"One more hour than, just an hour," he pleases and I nodded, looking up at him. He smiled, lifting his hand to my face. He gently swiped the tears from my cheek with his thumb. "I'm so in love with you," he whispered softly. I smiled sadly, "I'm so in love with you," I whispered back.

I brought my hand up to his face, my fingers dancing from his temple to his cheek then to his lips. He was so beautiful.

We laid there just cuddling and studying each other's features. It went by too fast and the clock chimed. An hour had passed. The familiar knot tightened in my throat as I started to cry. Ben hugged me, reaching over to grab my phone and then handed it to me. I sighed, typing in the password opening up the tab with the link on it.

I slowly handed it back to him. He looked to me, leaning in to kiss me. Our lips moved slowly against each other. It was passionate, yet gentle.

Suddenly, his presence disappeared from me. I fluttered my eyes open. Ben was gone, my phone sitting on the bed beside me.

I got up, slowly. It was like all of it was a dream. He was gone. I walked out of the room and walked to the present Ben's room. Or I guess now, just Ben's room.

I peaked through the curtain and saw that he was awake. His eyes met mine and I backed up, gasping. "Bella?" he called out. My breath hitched in my throat. I pushed open the curtain to meet him.

"Holy shit," he exclaimed. He was just as vulgar as he was when he was young. "You're just as I remembered. Did I just leave?" he asked. "You remember?" I asked and he nodded.

The tears that been building up in my eyes started to roll down. "I'm so sorry," I sobbed and he got up from his bed, slowly. He hugged me close to him as I wrapped my arms around him. He was still taller than me.

"It's okay. I'm okay," he told me. I stepped back, nodding. "You need to move on. I always kept you in my heart. Now I have a family of my own. I'm married and have a son and a grandson, who is your age," I nodded, smiling, "I'm happy for you."

"Goodbye," I said, backing up. "Bye, love," he said, waving. I smiled, turning around and walking away. Suddenly, I bumped into a hard chest.

"I'm so sorry," I said, looking up. "You're fine, love," the boy said. He looked so much like Ben. "This is my grandson, James," Ben said from behind me. I smiled, "Hi, James," I greeted him, smiling. "Hey, beautiful."

taglist

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