#this shit that they are doing is WAY too realistic
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MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT. kind of.
Joel Miller!AU x Reader.
hi again! so im doing it! ive read over it a million times and if there’s any mistakes please do forgive me. but here’s the full chapter of the start of my spiteful fic lmao.
kidding. im actually really excited to try something different and being embraced by a lot of you has been so great. so thank you everyone who sent a nice word or even just liked the post!
this will probably NSFW at some point. im still deciding when and how it’ll happen in the story but it’s going to be a lot of fun. the POV’s will jump around from chapter to chapter.
thanks to @highinmiamiii sending me the fic i was looking for! thank you! like i said before this fic is heavily inspired by https://www.tumblr.com/tokkiwrites/771944052123959296/game-show-hostjoel-miller-x-contestant-f
and the enjoyment of au!writing. it’s so freeing and let’s us explore characters in different ways. everyone please go read this story, it’s so good and they deserve every single bit of support.
ill stop yappin now and just post it!!
warnings— swearing. referring to killing Tommy Miller (will happen a lot), little bit of fluff for now. future warnings to come!
enjoy—
Chapter 1.
Joel’s POV—
Tommy Miller is a dead man. Joel thinks as he promises to whoever and whatever is above and below that he will personally kill him with his bare hands.
Those same bare hands that are clasped together so tight behind his back as he stands at the top of the aisle. His eyes were boring into Tommy’s who is currently standing up from his seat in the front row with a shit-eating grin on his face.
Yeah. He’s going to kill him.
The lights and the cameras are starting to make the skin on his neck prickle. The people behind the camera’s making him feel tense as his eyes flicker around the room.
He can feel jaw ticking and clenching as his eyes keep looking around the room and catching a few of the eyes of seeing the unknown bride to be’s family are staring at him too. Looking… well, friendly enough. For now anyway.
He can see their eyes scanning him.
Up and down, up and down.
From his slightly greying hair that is just sprinkling through his thick coarse hair. Right down to the black patent dress shoes on his feet that a woman named Jane from production had brought him along with this black three piece suit.
He thinks he looks good. But—
He doesn’t really care and if he was asked to give an honest answer right at this second he’d say exactly that. However, for the first time in a long time he willing to admit that he doesn’t look that rough around the edges.
Which is good, because in about 30 seconds his new wife is about to walk down the aisle.
Not legally of course. But for the sake of the show, he’s contracted to act like it is.
26 seconds.
Why Tommy thought that signing him onto goddamn Married At First Sight he’ll never understand. But the promise of a new Harley-Davidson Sportster Iron 883 and 60% of whatever income from the promotion the construction company will get from being on the show is more than enough to go along with it.
For now anyway.
14 seconds.
He just hopes whoever you are, you’re not one of those absolutely insane people who go on reality television just to cause drama. Because he will walk, cameras and contracts be damned.
He’ll buy his own Harley.
If he’s lucky he’ll get matched with someone who wants to promote their business as well and maybe they can come to some sort of agreement about this whole thing.
9 seconds.
Because who actually goes on a television show to look for love? Who genuinely believes that anyone could even fall in love under these conditions. Cameras. TV therapists. A group full of people who are desperate for their 10 minutes of fame.
It’s just not realistic.
5 seconds.
Joel snaps out his thoughts as he spots Tommy giving him a look. A look that Joel knows means, ‘Dude’, his eyes flicker back and forward before Joel realises what he’s saying. You’re coming down the aisle—
1 second.
Joel hears the doors cracking open and the music starting as soon as his eyes meet the huge white double doors at the end of the room. His hands clenching again as he keeps his focus on the door that’s opening and revealing who he is going to be stuck with for as long as he can handle in this absolutely ridiculous situation his brother has landed him in.
He see’s you walking through the doors. And he genuinely feels his breath get caught in his throat as he see’s your face for the first time.
Your eyes almost immediately meet his as you walk into the wedding hall with who he presumes is your mother. An older woman who’s eyes don’t even attempt to look at him, focused on you.
You look nervous. Terrified even.
Which, to his annoyance, makes him feel something in his chest as he watches you slowly making your way down to him.
He has to admit to himself. You’re genuinely beautiful.
And with that thought, all of a sudden he feels himself starting to panic. He realises wasn’t really expecting to find you attractive. He was fully preparing himself to be putting on his best face and foot forward during this process. His mind focused on that moment he has his first ride of his new Harley-Davidson the entire time.
But now, he’s going to have to focus on that damn bike to stop himself from doing anything goddamn stupid.
The closer you get to the bottom of the aisle, the harder he’s having to hold back a glare that is itching to aim straight for Tommy. But he doesn’t. Because he knows his pain in the ass little brother is going to have an even bigger shit-eating grin on his face now that he’s seen you.
It’s not until you’re kissing your assumed mother on the cheek and whispering something to her that he finally see’s you up close for the first time. His eyes feeling like they’re bouncing around his head as he takes you in.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph— he’s fucked.
The hair. The eyes. The nose. The goddamn lips. The white dress.
It’s not at all what he was picturing. He was fully imagining you and expecting you to go all out and look like princess cake topper. The show is paying for everything after all.
But no, you’re dressed in a long flowing silk dress. With little cap sleeves and the front of your dress making your tits look round and soft—
He has to stop.
He opens his mouth to say something, anything. But you’re already beating him to it with the sweetest voice he’s ever heard.
“I like your suit,” you say, the words falling from your lips like they were dragged out of you. Which admittedly— is very cute.
He lets a short puff of air escape his nose as he doesn’t quite laugh but, almost an amused look crosses his face as he looks down at you.
“I like your dress,” he says back, quietly but loud enough for you to hear. Or that least he hopes you do. Because he does like your dress, he likes it a lot actually, which surprises him.
He’s not a man to even care about dresses. Or anything stupid like that. A woman is a woman, he doesn’t care what they’re dressed in. But this dress on you? He’s struggling. Badly.
He watches you blush a little as you look down at your dress, running a hand over the front of it. The silk moving under your finger tips, almost hypnotising him for a moment before your soft laugh breaks him out his trance.
“Thanks. They gave my mom free reign in the dress shop,” you say with a soft, nearly genuine smile as you jut your thumb over your shoulder towards the woman who was walking you down the aisle now sitting in the front row behind you.
Ah, so he was right.
Joel smiles a little as he nods his head at your mom, being respectful for as long as he can handle this experiment.
Oh God he’s going to have to actually interact with your family.
He looks back at you, watching as your other hand is clutching your bouquet of sunflowers so tightly he’s actually a bit worried the stems might snap in half right here.
“She has good taste,” he says as his eyes travel back up to your face. He feels something twist in his chest again as he sees how nervous you look, and before he can open his mouth to give you just a little reassurance.
Knowing that the cameras and lights are probably making you just as nervous as him, someone clears their throat. Making you jump a little as his head turns almost too quickly to the sound tensing up a little until he see’s it’s just the very real officiant for this very real wedding.
God, what is he doing?
He hears her asking the both of you if you’re ready to begin and he just nods. He looks down at you and taking the chance to grab your free hand just right there. Temping him already.
He smiles a little bit as he sees the warmth spread on your cheeks and your almost wide-eyed facial expressions looking up at him.
Beautiful. He can’t help but let the thought sit at the front of his brain for a moment.
“You ready?,” he whispers to you, his own eyes going a little wide too from how fast his heart rate is going as he tightens his grip slightly as he watches you nod and breath out a soft, yeah.
He nods back as he turns back to the wedding officiant, taking a deep breath as he tries to focus on what the woman is starting to say, her very real speech.
Oh sweet Jesus, he needs to read the vows that Tommy wrote him.
This is going to be a nightmare.
#joel miller#joel miller one shot#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller x reader#joel tlou#joel the last of us#joel miller smut#mafs!joel miller#made my own tag lol#writing
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Come As You Are (Eric Draven! Bill Skarsgard's Version x Female Reader) (18+) (Slight Au)
Chapter 1
Summary : You meet the meanest, the rudest, the sexiest man of your life who seems to hate your guts.
Warning: 18+, smut later, Eric is a past drug addict with suicidal tendencies, use of cuss words, description of claustrophobia, reader is in her early thirties.
Note: Watch the movie if you haven't for his origin story to get a better idea. Shelly doesn't exist in this Au but someone does, i changed the name because people take fanfiction seriously sometimes and crap on your parade. This is going to be an angsty, smutty ride
“Be careful” you heard Laura’s sweet voice in your direction while you were putting on your jacket before stepping out of the restaurant. She was an amazingly beautiful woman in her early forties, almost motherly to you, even though she wasn't that older to you.
You liked the care and concern she offered you because it was something you never really had from your own mother, she didn't have time for you, she was too busy with her own life. Your shift had just ended and all you wanted to do was go to your apartment in downtown Chicago and lie down on your bed.
It wasn't exactly a posh neighbourhood that you lived in, if you could afford something better with your waitress job you'd have but you couldn't, you had debts and bills to pay. An unfortunate incident occurred a few nights ago, that's why you had changed your 8 hours shift from afternoons that ended around 10 at night to the morning one, now you were able to get back home by 6 when it was still bright outside.
You put your headphones in as you began to walk to your building, it was just twenty minutes from the diner so you didn't really feel the need to waste money on public transport everyday.
Besides it helped you keep in shape, well you deluded yourself into believing that it was enough of an exercise for an adult woman.
It was starting to rain so you quickly ran inside the building, some gentleman had just closed the metal grill of the elevator so you yelled at him.
“Wait for me”
Well it wasn't some Gentleman, It was your neighbour Eric Draven, he lived in the apartment right in front of you. He had moved in like a few days ago and you never really had a proper conversation with him as he kept to himself, often rolling his eyes at people around him, chewing gum all the time.
Mrs. Bonnie on the third floor, a sweet old lady has warned you to keep your door locked all the time as he was supposedly dangerous, that he was involved in violent shit and had been a drug addict in the past. You didn't know where she was getting her information from but then she knew a lot about a lot of residents in this building. She was the gossip girl of the building.
“Getting in or what?” His rude snappy voice made you run into the elevator. Clutching onto your bag you turned your head to the side to look at him but the intense glare he threw your way made you look away immediately. His green eyes were often covered in black smudge. You would never find out whether he used eyeliner, kohl or just plain old black eyeshadow. Maybe Mrs Bonnie knew.
Now you weren't the type to get obsessed with men often, you really wanted to put that thought out in the universe before anyone would judge you, perhaps you had a problem of sorts but you never really liked men around you or men who often bumped into you, it was always someone unreachable that you wanted and desired. Like Hugh Jackman, yeah, very realistic and very approachable to find and fall in love with.
But the man next to you was..ahhhh well to put it plainly and modestly, he was sexy. He looked like those edgy supermodel from those high end magazines. He was 6’4, you had never met anyone so tall before, he was built well, you could just tell by the way his trench coat hung around his broad shoulders, pale smooth skin, perfectly pointed nose, full plump lips, you couldn't find a flaw in his features and that pissed you off.
Well except that haircut, at first you found it ridiculous, not understanding why he'd do that to his raven hair, you couldn't really tell what it was, the shaved sides and the mullet seemed very punk but the more you looked at him, you found yourself thinking that it did suit his aesthetic.
He had several small tattoos on the side of his face, not enough to make him look like a creep but enough to attract attention, you'd never find out what that question mark on the side of his temple meant to him or the number 99 behind his ear, or the word lullaby tatted over his brow. He also smelled like bergamot and tonka beans so he was attacking all your senses at once.
You both lived on the last floor, and you were the only ones on that floor, the rest of the apartments were still vacant, one of them was haunted or shit, you didn't care to learn more, you were content in the information that it wasn't the one you had rented.
Your floor was about to arrive when the power went out. Again, that was one of the disadvantages of living in a rundown building. It often took five minutes for the backup generator to turn on so you knew you were in for a long awkward ride filled with silence and -
“Fucking fucktards” he mumbled under his breath as he pressed the buttons on the elevator, that didn't work obviously. Power was gone.
“It comes back in five minutes”
He turned to you as he heard your voice, his jaw clenched, nose flaring as he took deep breaths. Was he panicking? You couldn't tell. He often seemed agitated for no reason so this seemed like a perfectly valid reason for his sudden anger, however he also seemed as if he was going to freak out.
You didn't know how much he despised being stuck in compact spaces, he felt his lungs closing up immediately, his knees felt weak, head became dizzier. That's how he was murdered, with a plastic bag wrapped around his head until his lungs gave out on him. That's how they were both killed. Him and Melody. The love of his life, the girl he had gone to hell and back for literally, he fought to bring her back only for her to leave him when he got hard to deal with.
As his breathing became heavier you finally brought your hand up to place it on his shoulder.
“Hey are you okay?” you asked him but he stepped away immediately.
“Don't fucking touch me..keep your hands off lady” You immediately did that as he glared at you. You were going to say something but you decided against it. Why was he so fucking rude?
He leaned against the wall of the elevator and placed his head under his palms to calm down. Five minutes had never felt so long before.
You didn't realise you were holding your own breath too so when you finally inhaled you were able to hear the sound of your own shuddering breaths in the dark silent elevator.
As the generator finally turned on the elevator began moving up and you couldn't have been more thankful, you never wanted to get stuck in an elevator with him again or anywhere else for that matter, sure you were attracted to him in a weird way but that was because you knew you weren't supposed to be attracted to him, he seemed dangerous and unstable, that's what made him so desirable, he was unrealistic and unreachable. Just like Hugh Jackman.
You quickly opened the metal door as you stepped out, he followed after you and closed the grill behind him before he reached into his pocket to take out his key. He turned around to look at you, you were struggling to find your keys in that mess of a purse you had on your shoulder.
“You shouldn't touch people without asking” you heard his gruff voice so you huffed and turned around,the urge to smack him was real.
“I was just making sure you weren't having a panic attack.. okay? I have no interest in touching you or being touched by you”
Lies. Lies. Such lies.
He puckered his lips for a moment before he turned around and faced you.
“Whatever your excuse is sweetheart, don't fucking touch me again alright?” He said as he walked closer to you, he was almost in your personal space, towering over you with his skyscraper stature.
“Fuck you.. really” you said to him as you turned around to end the conversation. Why couldn't you find your keys when you needed it the most in this moment. He sniffed once at the curt response before he chuckled.
“Is that what you want? Hmm? Want to get fucked? Is that why you're being so touchy with me?” He said to you, his voice was low and husky, any other man would have been slapped by now but truth to be told he terrified you, and that turned you on in ways you had never been turned on before.
“Oh my god you're insufferable..how does that feel? Being so insufferable?” you said to assert dominance over this conversation that you were losing miserably.
Keys, you finally found them so before he could say something else you quickly opened your door and got in.
You had never met someone so brazenly rude to your face like this before, not a man at least, they often were nice to you because they wanted to get in your pants.
From that moment forward whenever you saw him you ignored him, didn't even look at his stupid gorgeous face, no matter how good he looked and smelled. He wasn't surprised, he didn't think you'd share pleasantries with him again after how he had behaved that night and that's exactly how he wanted to keep it.
He knew your type, he knew what kind of woman you were.
A few days later as you returned from your shift you sighed as you saw him enter the elevator, as he glanced in your direction he kept the door open but you stood outside the door with your arms crossed and nose pointed towards the ceiling.
“Getting in or what?” He asked you in his usual no nonsense tone so you looked at him.
“Feel free to go up, I can wait here for it to come back down” you said as you gave him a tight lipped fake smile.
“Suit yourself” he said before he closed the grill, as the elevator began to go up he pursed his lips and threw a mock kiss your way as if he was speaking to a dog.
Your jaw clenched in anger and something else you were trying hard to deny but you kept your mouth shut instead of engaging with him further. What was his actual problem with you?
As the elevator came down again you stepped in and pressed the button to the eleventh floor. You could hear his voice speaking to someone, perhaps the woman you had seen in his apartment this morning before you left for work.
“I told you to leave before I'd be back..didn't i? I was very clear about it” he said to her, she was standing against his door, wearing what seemed like his shirt. You stared at them for a moment before you walked towards your door and looked for your keys in your purse.
“Well I'm still here so how about we go out again?” the nameless woman said to him as she dragged her finger nails over his face, she was pretty and hot and she was using an overly seductive voice. Eric chuckled once before his expression turned serious, eyes blazing with fire. He hated doing this but it was a necessary evil.
“Awn really? That's so sweet. Well It's such a shame I don't fuck with whores like you twice in a row”
Your eyes widened as he said that to her, she didn't seem like someone he paid to have in his bed so that was clearly an insult thrown just to hurt her. What the hell was wrong with this man? Who hurt him?
You couldn't help but turn around and watch as the woman spat right in his face before cursing the hell out of him, she then walked into his apartment to grab her stuff and get out of his clothes.
He stood next to his door, leaning against the wall as he waited for her to leave, his palm came to wipe the violent drool she had left on his face.
“Enjoying the show?” He asked you so you smiled in a mocking manner.
“Very much so, best entertainment i have had in a while” He smiled back but then his expression turned serious before he mouthed a slow and silent fuck you.
“Awn, is that what you want honey? Is that what this is about?”
You said to him what he had said to you the last time but before he could retort the woman came out of his apartment.
“Rot in hell you deranged jerk”
She cursed before she walked the narrow hallway to take the elevator.
You quickly opened the door and got inside as well to not engage with him further, the ball was in your court now, you were the last one to insult him in that conversation. Right?
Later that night he got in his bed to get a few hours of sleep, he was given an assignment by Kronos that he had to finish tomorrow, it was going to be a long, violent and exhausting day. Sleep never really came easy to him, especially now, even when he did he often had nightmares that left him soaking drenched in sweat and fear but he was about to drift away when he heard the loud music coming from the apartment in front of him. He lifted his head up in annoyance as he heard..what the hell was that? Why did women have such awful taste in music?
When he couldn't take it anymore he got up and put on his sweatpants to go give you a piece of his mind.
“Goddamn this fucking woman is out here to ruin my life” he murmured under his mouth as he banged his fist on her door so hard that he could hear it cracking slightly.
You quickly opened the door and sighed as you put your hand on your waist. He was taken aback by your appearance, you had a floral dress on with your hair done and light makeup. He had never seen you so dolled up before, It caught him off guard for a moment, he was used to seeing you in old ragged clothes, not that it changed how he looked at you.
“Guys turn it down” you turned around to tell your friends to lower the volume. “Sorry i almost forgot you were living here now, I had gotten so used to being alone on this floor”
“You forgot? You forgot to be a decent human being who shouldn't be playing loud music at night? Especially when you have such a bad taste in music” he said to you, you weren't even looking at his face, he was too tall and you were in no mood to crane your neck up, he was shirtless, that's where your eyes were. On his chest and those eight packs and that huge eye tattoo right in the middle of his sternum.
“Hey no need to go there, my music in taste is very tasteful”
Taste in music. It was so easy to not mess up but you had to make a fool of yourself.
Before you'd hear a mocking remark you decided to cut him off.
“Look it's my birthday and I'm trying to have fun ..I'm only getting older and grainier every day so might as well enjoy it..you won't hear the music anymore okay?” You said to him as you finally looked up, making him purse his lips together.
It was your birthday and he was being a complete jackass to you. He remembered not being like this, with Melody he was gentle, he never spoke rudely with her or any woman for that matter, he was reserved, an introvert but he wasn't an asshole for no reason, though he definitely had his reasons with you. It was the way you used to look at him before he ruined it by being rude, with such warmth and acceptance in your eyes, he had to ruin it because he wasn't able to digest it.
He ran his hand through his hair, his bicep flexing at the gesture.
“Happy birthday I guess” he said to you so you stared at him because you couldn't believe he wasn't hurling insults your way and was actually saying something normal for once.
“Well ummm thanks ..I guess”
He nodded as you said that. He felt like an idiot standing on your doorway, not knowing what to say.
“Have fun” he said as he turned around to leave but your voice stopped him in his track.
“Hey..listen!! Umm Do you want to come inside? There's beer and cake” You asked him, as opposed to your better judgement and his as well. He turned to look at you, his eyes flickering constantly with emotions you couldn't really figure out, he wasn't exactly an easy person to read.
It would have been so easy to say no, to reject the invitation, turn around and get back to having a restless sleep like he always did, in a perfect world that's what he would have done, he should have kept his distance like he had been doing all this time. That's what he should have done for his own sake but instead of all that he dug a hole for himself and jumped in it knowing too well he won't survive this again.
“Sure..I'll come inside and eat your cake if you want me to”
😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏
Taglist: @m-riaa @erebus-et-eigengrau
#eric draven x female reader#Bill skarsgard version#eric draven x reader#eric draven x reader fluff#eric draven x reader smut#eric draven x reader angst#slight au
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What type of girl do you think the gang thinks they'll marry and what is the actual perfect type of girl for them?
OOoh this is a fun one :DD
Darry
Starting w/ my fav. Darry thinks he'll never marry; he has a hard time thinking abt his future? He's a very "In the moment" person. I think he's had to be for so long he doesn't allow himself to really. dream for himself :(
I like to think he does eventually settle down w/ someone someday, maybe someone who's more quiet and thoughtful the way he is, but also someone he can count on the same way everyone else counts on him? I think they end up having a few kids together and having a happy, quiet life together <3
Sodapop
Sodapop wants to be w/ either a model or a movie star 😭 (he's definitely handsome enough to be with one tho.) More realistically he wants someone he can have fun with, someone who's just. down w anything like he is.
I think he eventually settles down w/ someone who's a little more structured. The perfect girl for him appreciates his energy and his wildness but also offers him balance? Maybe tells him what to do a little lol
Ponyboy
Dude's young 😭 Ponyboy's either HEAVILY against getting married ever (girls are YUCKY) or. ONLY if it's to Cherry Valance a special girl.
I think he ends up with an intellectual type like himself. Definitely someone smarter than him, someone he learns new things from every day. Someone who notices all the little things yk? And who thinks about things differently. Someone he could talk to for hours 👀
Johnny
Johnny's scared of marriage 💀 (look at his parents bro)
I think. if he survived. He would end up with someone a little more extroverted. He's always been a listener so. if she talked all the time to him? He would love that :D Maybe the girl he meets has a big family who loves him a lot too. But the most important thing? She would have to be a good listener. He doesn't talk a lot, but when he does it's important.
Dally
If you asked him if he wanted to get married he'd say smth gross like he wants 3 wives or smth 💀
The perfect girl for Dally is someone who wants him to do better for himself. Maybe someone who's also not afraid to step up to him and tell him what's what 😭 But he admires her and knows she's always there for him, even when he's vulnerable. Especially when he's vulnerable.
Two-bit
He wants a model or a movie star like Soda 😭 but in all seriousness. He wants someone he can joke around w/ and someone who can give him a shit ton of kids. It's kind of a secret fantasy of his to have a big family and lots of sons and daughters <3
I think Two-bit gets his dream 😭 he knows himself pretty well so it checks out.
Steve
Whoever's in Playboy that issue 💀 Or literally anyone with. dark blond hair. Steve likes blondes.
As for the person Steve ends up with... Sodapop Someone who's always up for a good time. I don't really see Steve having kids. Maybe he's the weird uncle who's shirtless on 4th of July 😭 All jokes aside. He needs someone who's the perfect blend of serious and silly. Someone who CAN handle the Randle, in his best and in his worst.
#the outsiders#the outsiders headcanons#the outsiders hcs#ponyboy curtis#darry curtis#sodapop curtis#johnny cade#dally winston#steve randle#two bit mathews
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junior year of fantasy high hitting WAY too close to home and i know it does that on purpose but now that im over a decade removed from my own junior year of high school (which i do still consider to be one of the worst years of my life way way way too much on my plate and i wasnt talking to anyone and i was so fucked i might be remembering this wrong but there was at least a three week period where i only ate grapes and frozen corn out of a bag but whatever i went through all of that shit and i didnt even get to KILL people about it where's MY axe why didn't i get a fucking axe at any point during that year it could've fixed everything) the stress token segment of gameplay is making me want to pull my hair out. just wracking up more and more disadvantage on checks bc you don't have time to sleep or eat. it's such an evil mechanic to put in your game and he's evil for doing it aaaugh
#i mean it's good it's really really effective 4 the story but everytime they do one of those segments i feel my shoulders tensing up#literally getting kinda jealous bc at least these fictional kids get to channel this into killing people with swords and axes and bigbys fu#king hand or whatever that spell is called. still dont play casters ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#d20#was i even doing ???? NO OMG#i remember now i dropped martial arts instead of getting my 3rd degree black belt in junior year because i was too busy what the fuck#this shit that they are doing is WAY too realistic
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I'm so happy they decided to add this much depth to Amir instead of making him purely one-sided like people might expect him to be at first
it really makes you want to learn more about each of the characters and GOD is it worth it
#as someone who struggles with the same thing amir does as well like. when this conversation happened it made me sad#but like in a good relatable way#because holy shit do I relate to that#I'm really happy they shed some light on his neurodivergency and made it actually realistic too#warframe 1999#warframe 1999 spoilers#amir beckett#ended off the chat thankfully with gold text and we're going to get munchies together#god he's such a realistic character I love him#warframe posting#I wanna just give him the biggest fucking hug ever man
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it feels everytime mcr does something major everyone has got to complain for the next week and a half. feels like christmas dinner daily on tumblr the way everyone’s fighting all the time
#myself included. complaining about complaining#Last time it was complaining about wwwyf being a nostalgia bait cash grab as if that’s not the entire point of the festival#do i give a fuck. do You give a fuck. half my mutuals went so probably not that much of a fuck was given#& this time it’s over the tickets being way too expensive for 2025#like yes. i’m angry too im disappointed too but im not surprised#they’re mcr on their first tour in two years (three when they play) playing their most famous album in the most famous baseball stadiums.#As much as i’d love $50 tickets that does not seem realistic#i feel even with dynamic pricing off it was not gonna be cheap either way#I just wish we could all complain about this shit for a day or two not keep talking about it#blehhhhh#to quote that future subreddit post It’s just music why do we go so crazy.
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The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄
#my art stuff#digital art#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#this is part of a series I like to call “I’m never settling on a singular detailed artstyle”#I have no consistency in drawing realistic people/characters other than my shapy cartoon style#but I truly don’t get enough opportunity to properly shade anything with art in that style-!!! it always looks weird to me-!!!!!#I think some rude lil worm in my brain is wriggling around telling me it’s a futile attempt at still doing realism#cus I’m one of those “gifted” artists that grew up promising his parents he’ll end up among the big names or whatever#constantly training to become better at art but with realism oil paintings as the goal#you know how it is ���#I wanna shade my lil funky designs but they never feel good enough to really put energy into or whatever so I compromise with stuff -#- like this where I try to draw characters more accurately while still stylizing them and shading them however I feel like it#which is great and all but I should really learn to give my more relaxed and less perfectionist art a chance#I deserve to enjoy the process and the result without working myself dead#it’s so much easier and rewarding to copy cartoon styles - stylizing realism makes me too anxious of doing it “wrong”#at least cartoon styles give me a goal to reach or a reference to strive towards#man I really should just cut myself some slack altogether#either way - this man is a flustered mess and he’s embarrassed about being called adorable in public or something#being teased in an affectionate way about his sweeter side and stuff#don’t ask why he’s shirtless - anatomy is just a lot more fun for me to draw sometimes#tasteful nudity and all that is extremely gorgeous to me#i need to practice anatomy more cus I just kinda did some shit and went with it this time with a BIT of consideration for muscle structure
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It is kinda funny seeing people talk about Seungmin lately because he definitely has gotten more bold and confident for sure. He's also just getting opportunities to be perceived as an individual on his own as well for the first time in a while but it's still jarring to see people be like Aw he was always such a quiet goodie two shoes little nerd and it's like...... he was the one to leave and seek out his own vocal coach and blatantly talk about it, which of course lead to I.N and Lee Know also doing the same, he was the one to go on bubble and tell off sasaengs who used to camp outside their old dorm for invading members privacy but also because it effected other residents and staff at the complex, something that i'm certain upper management wouldnt have been happy about, and he wasn't curt or nice about it either. like he's never actually been a wallflower, he's always had a pretty strong backbone and seems to stick to his principals, its not really new.
#even silly shit like bringing up drinking even tho staff has clearly told him not too#like yeah its silly but its still sticking to his guns of being like we arent actually children anymore thanks#the food thing too like in an old 2 kids room he said something about not being able to eat on his bday bc they were filming so evidently#there was a moment in time when he caved to the shitty diet obsession kpop had but ever since hes never really said anything like it again#instead hes telling everyone to eat well and reminding people to have dinner or lunch every other day#even the comment about growing his hair out but then being like lol the stylist probably wont like me saying that or whatever#and like the yeah im going to the gym but im not lifting. dont expect me to bulk up. im doing it for stamina<< that made me cackle#bc i did see people on twt being like but what if seungmin got buff tho omg hed be so hot 🥺 Well him bein buff isnt what this is about#so he went and made sure people were realistic. not everyone needs to be noticeably cut yk#idk maybe bc i watched most all the skz content all the way through#and now i go back and gif stuff i notice patterns more easily than if youve been here for longer and havent watched older stuff#for a while- maybe? idk its just funny but i also see takes a lot and have to stop myself from going No <3#anyway this is my obligatory insane ksm tangent of the week. see you in 5 minutes.#🐶
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i watched mufasa today and was writhing in agony the whole time. partially because it was ugly. partially because the plot sucked. and not as much because i had horrifying period cramps.
#seriously tho i despise that movie#i did not want to go see it#but i also didnt want to be an asshole to my uncle who bought us tickets#it was a shit movie tho#hated it#i could point out a billion things i hated about it#EVERYTHING was cgi#every single character and the entire background#like atp just make an animated movie#but no instead i had to watch this weird uncanny valley between animation and reality#where everything is mildly unrealistic and weird but also way too realistic and weird#why do the lions growl and roar and whimper like lions but also talk like people#that bit was so weird#especially bc the lion voice never sounded anything like the people voice#one second youre growling like a wild animal and the next youre fucking james earl jones#like wtf#also it was odd to me that little kid mufasa was voiced by an adult and little kid kiara was voiced by a kid#like do the kid lions have human child voices or not?#it was so god damned confuzzling#the lions' faces were so emotionless. simone and pumba were annoying and unfunny and ugly as shit. the plot was bland and predictable.#i swear to GOD bro#you could have written all of the characters better.#give mufasa understandable and relatable flaws and attributes instead of making him Perfect#give taka understandable and relatable good bits and flaws instead of making him Evil#the characters had no nuance and no arcs#like i thought it would come into play that taka had undying loyalty to mufasa bc that was like literally how he was introduced#like his entire character from. the. START. was giving up his own honor for the safety of mufasa#but then he betrayed him? like what kind of a plot point was that?#also those white lions SUCKED as characters too#they had no nuances just malice
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Zoro 🐯 Process:
Commentary below:
Notes:
One of the first attempts at sculpting the boy; the head was later altered quite a bit and the legs entirely scrapped, and the torso bulked up shaking my shoulders feverishly: we need to properly represent his 110 cm bust and what we have isn't cutting it. Scabbards were made (which survived till the end!) and the original clay swords were made by this point.
New torso and legs give (hallelujah), as well as the loops and holes for the ears (such finicky small work, fuck me) were made. Holes were first made with straight wire and dried before the hoops were gently (and with swearing) inserted through.
Clothes added, also with swearing as the clay dried and stiffened faster then I wanted to and made it hard to get nice folds. Scarf was re-made and smoothed later.
Scabbards added! Immediately drops it and breaks a piece of it off. I've glued multiple bits of the scabbards back on the flimsy bastards. He remained armless for a good while. A Venus on the shelf by my desk...
Because the clay sword (after a good hour of tender focused work) would IMMEDIATELY would break upon the lightest touch, annoying me to no end, one evening was like God I wish I had actual metal to use instead wouldn't that be cool, and then was like OH! I COULD DO THAT! So the metal is actually cut from the tin of a cat food can, straightened and sanded., as seen in photo!
The blades hilted, before placed in capable hands
ARMS! and the sculpting is finished. Onto painting!
First layers of paint on various parts; I generally paint via colours I'm using at the moment (ie, greens in this instance)
More layers laid down. I generally go for shading in rules of three (main colour, lighter, and darker hues) and apply them at different opacity of acrylic. Adjusted the green since I found it too pungent. Once the fur tones were finished I gave him his stripes (cue me searching up loads of photos of tigers and tiger fursonas to see how people have done the stripes. Did you know depending on the area they are from they have different face shapes and stripe patterns? Fascinating stuff)
Finished project! Last layers, and highlights where added, adjusted the eye and fuck-ups re-adjusted. Dropped and had to reglue things. The gold is actual gold leaf I applied using a glue you paint on but that was a bit of a whole mess and took a long time, and doesn't go on very flat on very not-flat surfaces... (Who would have thought...) In the future may instead use gold paints for metallics.
Here's also the link to the post of more photos of him finished!
#one piece zoro#roronoa zoro#zoro#op zoro#zoro figure#op figures#hugin scribbles#hugin sculpts#hugin wip#op fanart#one piece#furry art#anthro#furry#tiger zoro#not sure if people find this interesting but i do so. BEHOLD MY PROCESS#i have like zero knowledge on actual sculpting of figures. i just do it and go well. sure that works#should watch some doll making vids or something to pick up better techniques. hm#theres something so clean and nice about the non+painted versions. pure#god when i firsy put down the green i was like. oh this looks SO much like someones unrealistic lime green tiger fursona#muting the tones a bit helped with that. and the stripes#was a bit annoyed with the stripes at first cause i was like oh no thats too realistic but i think it looks good that way#not pictured is me swearing while working on his fucking earrings#theyre brass wire with the caly and holy shit the clay is so finicky when its that small. the length of time it took to do them.#did them like three times separately and then also LOST ONE and then had to also apply the adhesive for the gold foil and the gold foil#never again for something that small.#but at the same time oooo fuck yeah onto the next project. that hopefully WONT take me like 8 fucking months
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"Your magic system needs to be consistent and well defined and grounded in logic and reason and-"
Fuck offfff, we're here to tell stories and have fun. Live your best life and embrace the Hirohiko Araki rules of worldbuilding.
#jojo's bizarre adventure#JJBA#Writing#Does this rule stand in the way of the narrative you want to tell?#Great! Break it#Break it with no sensible explanation whatsoever but confidence previously unknown to mankind#If your characters accept it as real the majority of your readers will too#We! Don't! All! Need! To! Write! Like! Brandon! Sanderson!#This was meant to be a shit post about Araki's incredible ability to bullshit#But I do have serious feelings about this recent insistence that all fantasy follow a hard magic system#Or else it's bad#Sometimes you can stop and ask yourself#Would my character realistically know the mechanics of how it works?#And sometimes. The answer is no. Sometimes you spend hours trying to understand and the audience still can't figure it out for 20 years#And that is okay#It Just Works
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Once again thinking about random Cybertronian things.
Like how chaotic flight radios, ATC communications, road rage, and traffic jams and such could be with, ya know, a predominant amount of the vehicles being people
#ik realistically theyre would be professionalism and normalcy and such. buuuuuttt#also realistically. shit happens#like fist fights happening during traffic jams. which only makes another traffic jam#fliers just dicking around on the radios#driving schools being hell for teachers as new tfs try to do a “cool trick” or smth and wipe out in a ditch#flight schools just being these chaotic ATC rp flight sim vids ive been watching way too many of#idk. i havent slept again lmao. cant shake this virus. so. yeah. flight sim vids and thoughts of chaotic vehicles who are people#...watching this one vid thats giving me ideas of misfire being stuck with atc training after being grounded#it goes about as well as one thinks#theres a reason he never graduates me thinks#''ya know? there's planes... chock o'block. in yer 'nan. up yer 'nan'' is unfortunately funny in ref to a busy flight line over atc#also. ''you're cleared for radio silence''. i need to use that somewhere.#mkay. nap time perhaps now#transformers#maccadam
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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Loki deserves to have an active role in the multiversal war. He deserves to fight alongside the Avengers. He deserves to save the day, he deserves to use his new time powers against a big bad, he-
#listen I’ve heard people saying loki is way too OP now to be in anymore battle scenes#but LISTEN#he’s only omniscient and omnipotent while he’s holding the branches#if he leaves his throne yeah he’ll still be able to timeslip and freeze time and do telekinesis and stuff#but he won’t be so overpowered that he can’t still be realistically used in a fight scene#it’s just that the fight needs to be against someone who is also super powerful#I need a scene of kang realising that to take control of the multiverse he has to dethrone loki#so he shows up to where the citadel used to be with an army or a badass weapon or smth#and we get a loki v kang 1v1 fight scene in which loki kicks his ass#but then afterwards he realises that more trouble is brewing so the multiversal avengers have to be assembled#and he’s just like a Nick fury type person appearing via astral projections and stuff for most of the movie/saga/whatever#but then at then end when the big battle is going on and the avengers are losing#he has to get up and actually come to the battlefield to handle shit himself#like a deus ex machina#and then afterwards he goes back to the TVA and lives happily ever after the end#loki series#loki meta#loki finale spoilers#avengers kang dynasty#avengers secret wars
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Haunted by V8 ending & V9 storyboard ending. 4ever and ever
#god cause like. ok theres 7 people left in solitas (presumably.) and we know that they get Amity Colosseum up in the V9 boards.#we see Qrow and Robyn in said boards too. so they got to vacuo.#and in RWBY beyond we know that Taiyang was in Vacuo at one point.#now the thing is is that Qrow and Robyn got a condensed down version of the plan by Winter while Pietro &Maria probably only saw Ironwoods-#Ultimatum before well Atlas fell and then got flooded which id assume took out the electrical grid. they probs had one on board too but#i dont know Electrical shit#so like they have the Vaguest fucking outline of shit that went down.#cause realistically i think Winter wouldve told Qrow and Robyn that the girls plan on using the staff to help Penny &then evacuate to Vacuo#and then like probably nothing else and they were in prison when Rubys message got out so they dont know that shit#meanwhile Pietro is freaking out over Penny knowing only that whatever was happening he couldnt help and that shes not with ironwood tho#meanwhile the ace ops who r still alive know that THEYRE THE REASON SHE GOT CORRUPTED AND HELPED IN DOING SO AND LIKE.#presumably Qrow wouldve picked Tai up on the way to Vacuo too.#i dunno it haunts me man. i am FILLED with fic ideas for it. hglep#Rwby#rwby v9#it just. it haunts me.
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just got to that part in kiwami where majima gets shot and falls into the fucking ocean and kiryu just. goes. eh he’ll be fine. and leaves him to fucking bleed out and/or drown. and oh man. that sure was Bad and Out Of Character. like that was so out of character it was actually jarring
#like it doesn’t even matter if it’s majima or if it was someone else tbh kiryu just realistically wouldn’t do that to Anyone helping him#fight/that he’s allied with/etc#LET ALONE majima#especially considering this is after majima’s helped him regain all his strength and abilities to be able to survive that fight in the first#place. like shit man I would’ve wanted to drive a truck into a building and fight kiryu too ngl I felt bad fighting him cause he was kinda#in the right#kiryu. just. apologize to him. good lord#yeah anyway that just shouldn’t have happened that was insanely out of characrer#I know it was in order to take majima out of commission for a bit for plot reasons but that doesn’t excuse it cause like. they still#absolutely could’ve written a better way of doing that. hell they could’ve had kiryu pull him out and some of majima’s guys pull up and take#him away and that would’ve worked and would’ve been infinitely better#that was just�� lazy#rambling#majima#yakuza kiwami#yakuza kiwami spoilers#goro majima#kazuma kiryu#kiryu#kazumaji
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