#this shit is a clown show and i am mad and i will stay mad

[riarnu]

ಠ益ಠ

[dontyouworrydaddy]

Too much to ask

Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader

summary: Having an argument with Leon isn’t really easy. It feels like talking to a wall.

Warning: Angst, Fluff

Not proofread, Gif not mine

“Because I fucking care Leon!” You shout at him. You can feel your eyes watering but you don’t dare to let those tears escape. Why can’t he see that you care about him? Whenever he comes home covered in bruises you lose your shit and you can feel your heart stop for a second. Why can’t he see that you love him because he is Leon and not because of his position? Why does he keep thinking you’re gonna leave him like everyone? Why is it so hard for him to accept the truth and move on?

“I can’t argue with you now.” He says and grabs the door handle. Before he can leave the room you push his hand away and cover the door with your body not letting him go anywhere. You are gonna fix that problem whether he like it or not. You’re not gonna let him escape again. “Move, please”he tried to ask you nicely, obviously trying to hide the fact he is still mad.

It all started with watching a movie together where the main character did something stupid just to safe the love interest. You said even if it was a stupid move he did what he had to do. That’s the story on how you ended up in a situation like this now. Because of a stupid movie.

“No Leon. This Relationship won’t work if we don’t communicate. You need to talk about your feelings and tell me what’s bothering you!” you explain to him but he doesn’t even look at you. You feel like talking to a wall but you’re not gonna give up. Even if your head is screaming at you to leave the house. Your heart is telling you to please try and fix this mess.

“When will the time come where you leave me like everyone else?” he quietly asks you, still not daring to meet your eyes. You feel goosebumps on your skin. Does he really think you’re gonna leave him?

“Maybe when I‘m 80 and about to die because I‘m too old. Maybe then I will have to leave you. But not now. And not tomorrow. Not in 2 years or in 6 fucking years. I will be staying here and waiting for you to come home because you showed me what real love is. What is so hard to understand? What do you want me to do? How the fuck can I prove to you that I really fucking love you and whenever you’re not home I‘m sitting on the couch in your stupid looking pullovers wishing you could hug me now!! I am tired of you never talking to me and me trying to fix this shit!” You burst out and maybe you said too much.

“Because- nevermind. Let‘s not just talk about it” is he serious? You feel like he doesn’t take you serious and now made you feel like a clown. You still have so much to say and scream at him but now you’re tired. It really feels like talking to a wall because he doesn’t listen to what you say.

And now you’re the one leaving the room to get fresh air. Not looking back you leave the room and finally the tears are falling down your eyes like waterfalls. It‘s not fair you think. You never wanted anything else than his love. Why is he so insecure?

As you were walking down the hall you hear the door open and close from behind you and soon after followed with someone running. You know it’s him. You recognize every single step he makes. Soon after, Leon crushes from behind you and hugs you tightly. Right after his arms are around you and his face is hiding in the crook of your neck you sob loudly. Holding his hands tightly and leaning you head back you start to cry.

“I really love you, Leon. But you don’t understand” you whisper while still crying your heart out. He keeps holding you tighter. He opens his mouth to say something but closes right after. You guys stay in that position for as long as you need to.

After what felt like eternity you pull away and turn to face him, only to see that he cried too. You rarely see him crying.

“I‘m so sorry for doing that to you. Please don’t leave. Help me change into a man you deserve. Please be patient with me” his words felt so true and by the way he grabbed your hands and the way his eyes talk, you know he is being serious. You hug him again and he doesn’t hesitate to hug you back.

“I‘m sorry baby. I love you. I love you so much it hurts me.” he confesses in your ear.

“I love you” you tell him. And you guys stay in that position for five minutes before going back to your shared room. Laying in each others arms and listening to each others heart beating and breathing. His finger kept dancing around your hair while you held him tight.

“Let’s never fight again.” you mumble against his chest and you can feel it vibrate because of his chuckle. His chuckle made you smile so hard and everything inside of you probably just melted down the ground.

“I love you in every single multiverse” he said and kissed your head. You looked up and smiled at him before leaning in just to share a long and passionate kiss.

[7nessasaryevils]

Ahhh my favourite day of the week! I wanted to watch earlier but today's been so hectic so this is a very late screaming crying throwing up review of Wandee Goodday! Let us begin!

- oh lovely... pain right out the fucking gate why won't you assholes let me breathe???? Poor Cher having to watch the men he loves fight 😭😭

- ohhhh that Cher Yei hug... (gwenchana count 1)

- both yak and yei breaking down in the arms of the men they love most... fucking hell we haven't even gotten to the opening credits! (Also Cher and Dee just silently comforting their boys... gods I'm soft 🥹🥺)

- Dee taking care of yak by physically comforting him and then making sure he eats is just so goddamn sweet... fucking asshole

- Dee pouting because yak says he loves granmama is so boyfriend coded im smacking my head against a wall

- oh wow this is a yei-pain centric episode and we are really putting my son through the wringer

- Cher and Dee becoming the in-laws we needed ♥️♥️

- fuck the simple domesticity of you and your partner working in silence each doing your own thing ♥️♥️♥️

- Dee verbally reinforcing his belief in yak (gwenchana count 2)

- ZAZAKI NY BABIE HI!!!

- oh gods I love him immediately asking why yak isn't doing the fight

- real talk: I get why Yei is so mad at his father... to be that young and lose your mom and then be told by the only other adult in your life that you are now responsible for your little brother, a business, and a legacy is a lot. The resentment he has against his dad is understandable and so is Yak's forgiveness for him. While Yei decided he didn't need his father anymore, Yak decided to stay connected to the only other parent he does have because in that way he's still connected to his mom. My babies have been through it 🥺

- oh look the in-laws are all meeting!

- while I love that we're showing off Dr. Dee... AUTOMATIC DISCREDITING SIR!!! How in the fuck is that doctor telling you - a nonmember of the family- about papa phadetseuk's diagnosis??

- HOWLING 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 are you two cursed to be stuck with my sons is such a sad thing to say I love it!!!

- Cher really said "I'm sick and tired of you idiots fighting I'm telling your dad!" 🤣🤣🤣

- yei's heartbroken face... oh gods why do these brothers always look so good when they're devastated?!?

- I'm so fucking fine look how goddamn utterly fine I am so so wonderfully fine (sobs in the corner)

- I love that we address how grief can break people in the worst way and that both papa Phadetseuk and Yei are taking accountability for the past few years

- this episode really was out to hurt and yet heal my little boxer family and I love it!

- awww cute yei and Cher scenes!

- WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD FUCK ME (fuck Cher actually) HOLY SHIT

- FAMILY KARAOKE!!!

- ohhh... here we go dee backstory time!! (Tiny Dee is precious and I am going to steal him my goodness)

- granmama and yak being besties is exactly what I needed in my life ♥️

- SAY THE DAMN WORDS WANDEE!!! Although finally understanding that you love yak is fucking great!!

And for next week!

Out fashionable grim reaper is back, my son gets hurt, and we have actual clowns!! Perhaps a little less pain than this week ♥️

The exhaustion has set in so I bid you all adieu!!

[grimtermemeing]

{ No context only chaos P5 }

I'm back... and I'm dead.

Wait what? You were just standing there!

See you next Sunday you passive-aggressive bastards!

It's like whalesong, but for clowns.

So you know how [Name] eats people, right? No? Oh, yeah. [Name] eats people.

Your face will be processed in 3-5 business days.

[Name], as usual, is a fucking menace.

He's a cicada they don't have brains.

Family outing to go kick [Name]'s ass.

But we're really good at not resorting to cannibalism!

Huh, it's been a while since we played 'let's not resort to cannibalism,' hasn't it?

We're not arguing, you're mine now.

Why is awake not wanting to stay awake?

Problematic drop rates

Hinges are optional! Especially when your doors don't have any.

Chomp chomp motherfucker

It's explicit handholding. No, seriously.

Cute overload is always tempting.

I love him. He's my darling sociopath.

Pretty sure they're about to morph into their ultimate form, dustball with random limbs.

I'm gonna mcfuckin eat them.

Genderfuck magic Irish Pirates.

I am going to hug you with my mouth.

You're blind as shit so I know if you can read it, anyone can read it.

Yeah, men don't die like they used to.

Every single person I have poisoned has died.

It's the it-iest.

It's a little 'it.

How do you light up someone's star?

In front of my hot chocolate????

Mutual brain-biting.

Do not listen to the cop inside your brain.

Unfortunately for everyone I've learned my personal combos.

[Name] how are you out-damaging grown ass adults.

Even assuming I'm not a paranoid enough bastard to put that kind of backdoor in, which to be safe you should assume I am--

Not mad, just self-managing.

Realizing [Name] fights like a little demon because of [Mentor]'s sink or swim mentoring.

I'm gonna commit wetbox.

Can you show me where the person with the pinkish flappy dancy cape is?

They de-ponded my village!

Where's my little splishy?!

Splish-splash, there's no longer a bath!

The crops are my feet, and I'm sad.

And I'm IGNORING the 'I fucked yer mom' joke!

SUNLESS BEHAVIOR!

[Previously... Before that... And before that... Originally]

[cozy-pancakes]

Hello gorgeous and handsome people!!!

I am gonna tell you about yesterday at school.

And to start it off with it doesn't matter how weird you are.. doesn't matter what you do just know you are loved and even if you have a bully somewhere they will be gone someday they will be out of your life just get done whatever needs to be done and the person bully will be gone whether that's school and you have bully's get school done and they will be gone it could be work ignore them they probably don't like you because you are wayyy better then them and that's a fact!♥️♥️♥️♥️ Love you all and stay safe out there!!! Now with the story for Yesterday

I went to R's class as normal but I got a new person it's an Art the Clown plushie but it has a zipper on the back so it's a purse but besides that, I put it down and drew on my hand with a pen and finished the random drawings I did earlier in the day and students started to come in and H showed up again but.. but today I didn't feel mad at them I don't know what the feeling was but it was a kinda sad feeling? Like my heart was slowly shattering into pieces... I honestly don't know why but there are two bullies in my class who just are like "Stop looking at me" and "Stop staring at me" then talking shit secretly about me in the class but on the side and I can slightly hear them now it ends up being a group of them but I honestly wouldn't care as I don't so I just leave it the girl called me the weird girl with the tattoos lol I don't get any it's just the drawing on my hand that I drew but whatever... Anyways, so R was teaching H some math, and I'd been listening for a while on my phone, and once they were doing well, he slowly added me into the conversation... I don't know if R heard the annoying people, but he seemed a bit bothered after, but who cares... Anyway, he included me in some of the conversations with H, and I slowly got along with each other. I think R was happy about that... You know maybe me and H can become friends sometime.... I mean, she might have a crush on R, and if she does, I and she are almost the same... Honestly... So R asked about my bag. I told him it was a horror movie, and he said he would watch it... So tomorrow I'm gonna ask if he did and how it went... So after that day was over, I got home, and I just cried... I don't know why I cried but I did... I cried for almost no reason... My heart shattered as the day went on, holding the tears in... And they just all came out as soon as I was alone. I cried then and I cried at night... The day was terrible after that, so I just slept all day and now I am just in my room doing some art, and tomorrow I'm seeing them all again... But finally, it's almost Christmas, and that means no class for a while, which is good... But anyway, that is the day, and slowly, honestly, it feels like it's shattering even more, but I'm gonna leave it for now... I hope you all have an amazing day! And if anyone needs anyone to talk to about problems to love or anything, send me a message on here, and I will do my best to help as soon as I'm available:) Have an amazing day, my gorgeous people!!!!

[thedragonchilde]

G Gundam meta notes, eps 30-34:

"Beautiful Fighter! Dangerous Allenby"

-you could tell Domon just about anything when he's basking in the afterglow of a good fight and it'll take him a good hot second to register

-what the hell kind of backstory does Allenby have that she was adopted by the military as a child?? (And why am I now suspicious of the circumstances under which her folks died…?)

-okay this gets into the good good "communicating with your fists" stuff, and I do love a good "I know you're in there" fight

-I love that Argo consistently believes in Domon

-oh, this is going hard on the parallels, and yet it feels more tell than show? Like we're told they're the same, but they don't feel the same - maybe just because Allenby is startlingly cheerful! Like, she has such innocent joy and awe for the littlest things, which tells us some terrible things about her life but also some wild things about her emotional resilience

"Dazzling Power of the Clown! Get Mad, Gundam Maxter"

-Bunny trying to seduce Domon is incredible

-"let's be good boys"

-i still watch this one while cringing; for something so absurd it gets so damn raw

-why did the gals ask Domon to go after Chibodee?

-”...but I bet I bored you with that silly story” that is some incredible deflection!! At the drop off a hat he's able to cut off sadness - laugh it off, even. Oh honey, it's not silly!

-and yet it seems he almost wanted to find that space to vent, just… to someone who wasn't close enough to judge

-who wants to bet he had to teach her the song, and that therefore he can sing? 

-an interesting tidbit carried over from the Japanese is that Chibodee gets this growl to his voice when he's hyped up

-we finally get a good butt shot and it's now? Damn, can't enjoy it like this

-the dub's decision to go with that choice of lullaby was so goddamn masterful!! In crapsack Neo-America, if you're stuck on Earth, literally all you have is patriotism and the land itself - like, you may have taken all the resources with you and practically left us to rot, but we have our pride, and we have the spacious skies, amber waves,,, What accidentally great worldbuilding

-TEAM NEO AMERICA FOUND FAMILY FOREVER

"Dangerous Trap! Neros Gundam Strikes Back"

-I have to laugh at Chibodee in the American flag trunks; quite a switch from the Speedo in Neo Mexico. Perhaps he wasn't meant to be seen in that skimpy thing and didn't wanna take the chance again?

-just because Wong doesn't give a shit about targeting the cockpit doesn't mean you should actually do it, Domon

-okay, Marcelot didn't take the loss as well as we thought. Also SERIOUSLY WHY IS HE THAT HUGE 

-ayyy Carlos is the one decent guy in this, and look what happens to him :/

-Michelo and his rainbow firework kick can kiss my ass

-wait, it's the end of the year and Domon is still 20?

-now I have the visual of Wong getting Michelo out of jail for the finals

-Bunny is a bad influence and enables Chibodee's impulsiveness, good job

-although it doesn't look like anyone was wearing their seatbelts

-final destination ass targets!

-okay, knees to the face looked pretty painful

-Domon's insults are charmingly tame in the dub; he uses stuff like 'scumbag' and 'loser' and 'piece of filth' just as venomously as others might wield much stronger language

-Wong wants to eradicate the Shuffle Alliance as a concept, oof

"Emissary of Darkness! Chapman Rises Again"

-”I should've stayed with my father, that way I could've snuck out” damn, Marie-Louise

-George's flying kick is pretty great

-okay so I know the whole "how can you come back from the dead and participate in the finals" seems like serious priority confusion, but I can see a decent reading as, like,,, "not only are you a zombie, but nobody's questioning it???"

-he has a knife!

-Rain and Allenby are scared of rats

-I find it interesting that Allenby is hanging around a lot. Rain doesn't appear to be uncomfortable yet

-George getting set up to protect the audience again, oh shit

-Domon also has a cool flying kick through the window, but I think George's was cooler. Maybe it's the heels

-I wonder how long Chapman was dead before being reanimated

"Stand Up Domon! Raging Tag Team Match"

-it's presumably supposed to be an illustration of Rain's jealousy, but she has a solid point re: letting other countries' reps in the cockpit, and it's interesting that Domon and Allenby are basically "this person isn't bad, therefore I don't understand the rule"

–which reminds me, for as much as they gave us real D/R moments in Guyana, since getting to the finals any reference has seemed like lip service

-with this Schwarz/Rain scene, I need to make a list of potentially shippy “A held B but under circumstances they couldn't enjoy”

-what in the good goddamn does Japan have against South/SE Asia? Like we're not even into recognizable stereotypes, this is just bizarre technicolor racism

-Allenby clinging onto Domon like that seems,,, off

-ah, it's not just lip service, it's also "let's go hard on the D/A parallels to needle Rain, this definitely won't backfire and convince viewers that D/A is more workable than D/R"

-though honestly Domon doesn't seem to act any different with Allenby than he does with his fellow Shuffles–

[veryflirtytransportalate]

<Previous> . . . <Next>

"Hmm… I think I know a fellow performer when I see one. Good with your words? Know just the right thing to say at the right time?" - Magnolia

I recently went back to Good Neighbor for the first time in ages because I remembered that failing that Bobbi heist is the key to companionizing Hancock (I'm "collecting" all of the companions, like one collects action figures of a set). Plus McGravy will sell me his soul for literally less cash than a crate of fresh water, so, that's two down. McGravy went to live with Strong Mad at a Red Rocket upstate. He's very happy with lots of room to mope.

While I was there, the people of Good Neighbor begged, pleaded, dropped down on their knees and wept, "Oh great and mighty Sizz'el, won't you pose for a few tasteful photos on our woefully inadequate stage?" (I was really impressed Bethesda went to all that effort to program that, to be honest with you, but the game crashed twice during this photoshoot, so... not too impressed.) So, I put on my hottest shit, hit the stage, and the place... basically stayed the same. Which is exactly what they do when Magnolia is performing, so, rousing success, I guess. Magnolia seemed jealous of my undeniable slam dunk, but then she realized that I was down to clown and decided that was a fair consolation prize. The people in this wasteland are funkin' off, I swear.

(Outfit credits, my thoughts, and a few more shots below the cut.)

<Previous> . . . <Next>

The outfit is TheKite's Handmaiden Set (opens in new tab): TheKite makes a lot of... Uh, outfits, so, viewer discretion is advised. But gosh do I love the Handmaiden Set, absolutely fantastic work.

I am very unsure where I want to go next with this character: as my little status tracker thing lets you know, I'm basically coming up to the edge of available content that can be explored without locking myself out of content from the other factions in the game. In a more traditional RPG, I think we'd be moving from Act 2 to Act 3*.

I think up next for me is the Railroad. The game is gonna force me to meet them if I go and talk to Virgil in his Plato's Cave anyway, so, might as well. I don't think the Railroad are interesting, or cool, or fun, or engaging, but like... just like in real life, in a simulacrum of a world, if you show me the militarized anti-slavery faction that exists to oppose forced labor in all facets... I'm gonna help them to the best of my abilities. Which always makes me feel pigeon-holed by the game when it comes to picking an ending. Like, it really is between the Minutemen and the Railroad, because the Brotherhood are techno-facists who've lost all interesting nuance as the series has developed, turning into essentially The Avengers, and the Institute is just stupid. The Institute doesn't approach even a fraction of the genuine and well-considered faction building of the early titles. You're telling me none of the people in this building have thought to just... re-purify the local ecology? Fallout 3 had the plot of a child's first superhero comic book but even that game recognized that a wasteland's first major concern would be ecological recultivation! And centered it's conflict around that concern! Fallout 4 is a power struggle over a resource-depleted ghost town, and "the boogieman" is just a bunch of nerds replacing people with Bladerunner androids with literally zero objective except to see what happens. Even if you side with the fuckers there's no secret folder labeled "THE BIG PLAN" that gets slid in front of you. They have no plan. They have no goal. They were written to be "the boogieman" first, and then they wimped out and tried to make them human and understandable and it falls flat in every way.

New Vegas showed us a version of this world that was already sanded down to the bare-essentials, where the Followers of the Apocalypse are just a friendly lil' bunch o' pals, and the factions of the Strip are just three bands of progressively more evil weirdos led by robo-Walt Disney, but if New Vegas is sanded down, Fallout 4 has been left overnight in a rock tumbler.

<Previous> . . . <Next>

*If I had to four act structure the game it would be: Act 1 is setting up all the players, Act 2 is asking us to side with one of them, Act 3 is the big lame twist about Shauwn that stretches the plot out a little further and provides one last "a-ha!" double cross chance, and Act 4 is Explosions & GET TO THE CHOPPAH & Heroic Music.

[deathbirby]

I think you should be cancelled and harassed for that bald rhea post period tbh.

Ok jokes aside- man these people really do suck, huh. I can’t tell you the number of times over the years I’ve made posts about not liking Edelgard/analyzing the text in ways her fans don’t like/etc and got swarmed by her stans arguing in bad faith at best and telling me to kms or threatening me at worst. Over video game discourse.

Meanwhile all I’ve seen you do is personally complain on your own blog about takes you see that you disagree with? And when you bring people up it’s always because they were doing some wack shit like sharing screenshots with uncensored usernames or block evading? Again I just don’t know what reality these people live in but it’s so fucking annoying and the reason why I stay on anon lol.

(Rant time) There’s just no winning with these folks seeing as they’re pretty much just bullies at this point deflecting their own (or at least people in their circle’s) behavior back on the people just trying to talk about the game and mind their own damn business. It’s really not that hard to see a take you disagree with and just block and move on, it’s so easy and I do it all the time. It’s hard to want to genuinely interact with ANYONE pro-cf/Edelgard/etc when I’ve been burned so many times by people jumping to call me vile things because I dared share a reading of the text different than the ones they personally project onto the game. Even just saying “I like Rhea and don’t think she’s nearly as bad as people make her out to be” is some sort of cause for freaking the fuck out and harassing people which just. *Head in hands* UGH. Anyway rant over. I know you just laugh at them at this point (and good on you for that) but I’m still so sorry you have to deal with these ppl, truly could not be me.

~⭐️

My notifications only showed the "I think you should be harassed for..." and I had my hazmat suit ready.

Bald Rhea is beautiful wdym?

Jesus christ. You were told to kill yourself?? And getting threats? Dude I am so sorry you had to go through that. I said it before but don't worry about sending asks if this is the only way you can get it out of your system.

At best I've clowned on people who reblogged my posts to start shit. Or someone who tried to start shit with a mutual and I was out of fucks to give at that point. But they don't specify who and what we're talking about, so I'm left guessing.

I believe a certain person had previously stated that tumblr is public and that they have the right to correct any misunderstanding and set things straight or whatever. Which is fucking pathetic. I have come across people who fucking gutted canon and I just blocked them. Like you said, it is not that hard.

Then again, they also said that any attack on Edelgard is a personal attack (unironically), so there really is no winning. Nothing you say will change anything because they will keep seeing it as an attack on their character.

Thanks anon. It's kinda tiring at this point. I want to have an honest discussion with people, but I was banned from the edelgard server, and now people are deleting their accounts (lol why) instead of talking to me directly.

Still funny tho when they get mad and call me toxic or sexist or whatever because I respond with shitposts to their serious "debates."

[captnjacksparrow]

Wait why are they trying to kill Boruto?

Sorry I don't watch the show because, as you said, it sucks. But I love reading your Boruto trash talk posts and I wanna be in the loop!

I tried googling it but all that came up was theories about whether they were actually gonna go through with killing him. (Which honestly i hope they do so they stop making this sh*t)

The way you don't hold back when trash talking is mad funny. Much love💕

Whether they were actually gonna go through with killing him. (Which honestly I hope they do so they stop making this sh*t)

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣God!!!! Such a Troll you are... Anon.. I don't know why I am laughing at this line endlessly!!!

I think it's better to stay oblivious about this but since you asked!!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can’t stop laughing!!!

So, here's the thing.

That Boruto brat has been given a Karma Seal which is very similar to Orochimaru's Cursed Seal. Unlike Sasuke who could control it and stay human.... Boruto might turn into an Otsutsuki Alien whose power is incomprehensible and will destroy the whole world by making some Chakra Tree and shit.

So, When Boruto was worried about himself that he might turn into a monster..... Sasuke said this,

To which that brat reacted like a Real Ninja in the Manga....

“The thought of dying in the battle scares me, but.... I’m still prepared for it, like every other ninja! It’s just.... If my body gets taken over and I stop being myself... I don’t know what I might do to everyone!!! That scares me even more!!!���

Back then when this chapter was released, every Hinata and NH fans went crazy.... They slandered Sasuke and they theorized that Naruto will kill Sasuke if he touches his Son. 

LOLOL...

And few chapters later... Naruto agreed with Sasuke’s decision.... This made the entire NH go koo koo crazy....

Even though this looks OOC, Right after 3 pages, Boruto was given some Magical Pills as a cure. So, I think Manga didn’t want to explore this pointless emotional drama. 

From a narrative standpoint, We all know that Boruto will never die... Alright??? And even Boruto was okay with dying rather than transforming into a monster who destroys the whole world. 

Now.... What Anime did was.... 

They thoroughly disrespected the Canon... By Making Naruto disrespect Sasuke... 

And play a LOVEY DOVEY FATHER CARD... All of a sudden Naruto puts Boruto above Sasuke.

And Boruto also became a lovey dovey son who wants to live more than anything... I mean everyone wants to live... but this isn’t what he promised with Sasuke....

LOLOLOL..... This is not at what happened in Manga at all....!!!! Boruto is like a cry baby here... Naruto put down Sasuke... And I don’t know how to take these scenes anymore.

Now the Anime is playing right according to NH peeps whims by making Sasuke into a clown. They all assumed Naruto will fight Sasuke for promising to kill his Son..... Though Naruto technically didn’t fight Sasuke... He did pull his Collars!!!! Only to be given some Life Saving Pill in the next scene. 

So, yeah!!! That’s the gist of N and S trying to kill Boruto.

[stxleslyds]

Red Hood and the lost art of telling Joker to shup up.  

Okay, I know that I talked about Jason and Joker in a recent post but this is something different, I promise.

I really want to talk about how different Jason has been written since UtRH when it comes to him confronting Joker. Jason hasn’t been put in that position a lot but the times that he has, he lets Joker talk for far too long and actually pays attention to whatever he has to say.

The Jason vs Joker thing is basic in on itself and letting Joker talk isn’t exactly the problem here, the real problem is Jason letting Joker’s thoughts shape his future thoughts and decisions, I do understand that that’s exactly what writers want though, they want to build the problematic of: “Jason is just like Joker and the fact that he uses the name Red Hood only proves that Joker made who Jason is now”.

But the thing is that THAT problem is overdone at this point and the only time it worked was the first time it was brought up and it worked because Jason shut the Joker down.

Let’s see all the times (that I remember) the Joker and Jason have had a little chat and/or the times Joker’s words actually influence Jason’s thinking and decision making.

 Under the Red Hood – Batman (1940) #649

This is the first real confrontation we get to see between Jason and Joker after Jason’s death and it is beautiful. It's absolutely amazingly written, Joker goes on and on forever about how he killed Jason about how Jason is just as bad as him but that he is also just like Batman because he hasn’t killed him yet.

“You let me live after everything I did, you couldn’t pop my balloon. You just couldn’t. The apple doesn’t tumble too far from the paterfamilias. You are just like daddy-kins”

Jason lets him talk, yes. But he absolutely destroys Joker with what he tells him next.

“You couldn’t be more wrong about me. If right were a country on earth you’d be circling on the edge of the milky way. Yeah, I let you live but like always, every damned minute of your addled, posturing, psychopathic life, you think this is about you. You’re a worm. I’ve pitched you on a hook and dropped you into the brine. And I will beat the hell out of you Pagliacci because it was too much fun not to.”

“Listen to me Joker, I’m not you. I´m nothing like you. I know what I do and I know why I do it. You, you are, clinically speaking, a whack-job. But I know a secret, a good one.”

“You are not nearly as crazy as you would like us all to believe or even as crazy as you would like to believe. It just makes it easier to justify every sick monstrous thing you’ve ever done when you play the part of the mad clown. You are crazy, bubba, but you ain’t that crazy. Look at that. I wiped a smile off of Joker’s face. I have been waiting a long time for that.”

Everything about this is perfect, Jason gives Joker no room to mess with him. Whatever the Joker had planned on saying he had to eat because Jason wasn’t playing games and he was ready for any kind of lie the Joker had ready to tell. This is Jason Todd. He won’t let the Joker get under his skin because he knows the Joker and he, also, knows better. 

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #15

Here Jason comes across Joker during the “Death of the Family” event. In this issue the Joker has information about all of the members of the “Batfamily” and he uses that to mess around with each one of them, in Jason’s case he insinuates that he was present in very specific moments of his life when Jason’s father got shot, when his mother overdosed and when he was on his own before joining Batman.

Jason doesn’t quite believe that Joker was there but as the reader, we can see this sort of sense of doubt in Jason. He hesitates a few times before resolving that the Joker is playing with him.

But as far as this issue goes let’s just say that what the Joker says doesn’t get to Jason, this changes though in the issue that follows up this story.

Teen Titans (2011) #16

This is where that story continues and where Jason starts to buy the story that Joker is selling.

Joker convinces Jason that he has his father and Tim’s father and that the only way for Jason (or Tim) to save their dads is by killing the other (Jason or Tim). Tim doesn’t believe it but Jason is ready to shoot Tim almost immediately.

However, Jason changes his mind about killing Tim just as Tim comes up with a plan for them to not actually have to kill each other. Here is where Lobdell’s writing shows all of its flaws, Lobdell is so desperate to show that Jason and Tim are besties that he forgets that Jason had no reason to stop trying to kill Tim to save his shit father because it is later revealed that Jason truly believed that Joker had found his father and had him captive. It wasn’t until Tim explained his thought process as to why those men weren’t their dads that Jason just goes “you realize, of course, the only reason I didn’t kill you right off is that I knew your big brain will figure out some way out of this” HA, nice save Lobdell but I see right through your bullshit.

Jason bought what the Joker was selling and that is the beginning of Jason’s downgrade when it comes to not playing Joker’s games.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #17

Well, in this issue Lobdell goes back to Jason kinda not believing what Joker told him, and Jason asks Bruce of all people if he thinks the Joker truly “made him or not”. Bruce says that he doesn’t believe that and that he didn’t have anything to do with the man that Jason has become either. For some reason, Jason is actually happy with what Bruce said and for a couple of moments, Jason goes back to being sure that the Joker knows nothing and that he is his own man.

It doesn’t last long though. At the very end of the issue, the trap that Joker had set up in Jason’s helmet triggers and Jason gets his face fucked up with acid or something.

But that’s not all because a hologram of Joker has something to say: “you were supposed to be my masterpiece from start to finish. But you were too stubborn to stay dead. So here is what we are going to do… You’re so determined to be your own man? Fine, let’s start with a clean slate”.

Basically, the Joker insinuates once more that he had something to do with who Jason was supposed to become and that Jason isn’t truly “his own man”, This is all a setup for a very dense storyline that will be continued in this run later.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #18

In this issue, Jason is in a coma after he is dosed with that gas in the previous issue. The Joker isn’t really present in this issue but he does make an appearance as part of Jason’s “nightmare” while he is unconscious.

That’s not all though, Jason has an illusion of Ducra (someone that he appreciates a lot), telling him that “after you left the All-Castle after you went back to the world you continued to let your life be defined by the actions of that man. You became a killer, lashing out at people who may or may not have deserved it. Eventually, you will hurt all those you have cared for. In that way, how are you any different from the Joker?”.

In this statement, there is a lot of wrongs that can come from two places, either bad writing on Lobdell’s part or just Ducra telling lies as a plot point.

“Let your life be defined by the actions of that man” is a sentence that horribly simplifies Jason’s thinking during the events of UtRH, because while he did resent the Joker, his real problem was with Bruce who had not avenged his death by killing the Joker himself. Also, Jason was doing other things back then, like being a pain in the ass for Black Mask and disrupting the drug trade in Gotham as well as trying to control the drug dealing to children. So that little sentence is just a gross misinterpretation of the true events which means that Ducra was wrong, and “she” continues to be wrong when she says that there might be no difference between Jason and Joker.

Luckily Jason thinks the same because he tells “Ducra”: “…don’t you dare compare me to that monster Ducra. I am nothing like the Joker! Nothing!”

Once again please don’t be fooled by Jason’s thinking because in the next issue it turns around really fast and really bad.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #19

Just a heads up this issue has a change of writer, Lobdell isn’t writing this arc, the writer that gives us this hellish story arc is James Tynion IV.

All that talk about Jason not being affected or not believing what the Joker told him is yeeted out of the window and it’s not a fun ride.

In this issue, Roy and Kory find a Jason that doesn’t know who they are or who he, himself, is. This is because S’aru that little floaty little shit took his memories away after Jason asked him to do so, well Jason asked S’aru to erase every memory that darkness has touched (Joker) and he does that. But him doing that is apparently erasing everything which, holy shit, how messed up is that?

But let’s take a look at what Jason says before he gets his memories taken away: “Not only did the Joker almost take my face, but he tells me he might have manipulated my entire life from the beginning! Even the good is tainted by him now. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t have that kind of doubt. If you take it away, I can go on living. I can keep fighting”. So, yeah that was a pretty emo speech. But the thing here is that if Jason is asking this dude to erase every memory that has been tainted by the Joker and he erases all of them then we might be facing one of two situations, either Joker has been messing up with Jason’s life from the beginning or S’aru is just a little bitch.

We will later find out in #20 that S’aru and Ducra planned the whole thing, meaning that they took all of his memories for ulterior motives not because the Joker had actually tainted all of them.

For many issues Jason has no memories and now that I am revisiting these issues, I now remember the twisted and completely insane plot they came up with for the “League of Assassins” and Jason being the “Chosen One”, everything was happening in this run, my god, it's like they wanted Jason to be the center of every single trope in writing history.

It’s in issue #26 that Jason asks for his memories back but the Joker having tainted his memories or not isn’t important anymore to anyone, including the writer (because he is too focused on telling this messy story), Jason (because he has enough problems at the moment) and the reader (because this book makes zero sense and it changes the story and motivations every single issue).

But there is another truth to be revealed in the next issue.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #27

Jason has planned along Ducra and S’aru to give up all of his memories to be cleansed so he could defeat Ra’s Al Ghul. But (there is always a but) Ducra says this: “Your greatest enemy returned and nearly took your face away from you. And in the process, shook your sense of identity to the core” “The final battle here will take place in the Well of Sins, and with all the doubt and fear clouding your mind, it would eat you whole”.

So yeah, now we have confirmation from Ducra that Jason had indeed let what the Joker told him cloud his sense of self and made him doubt who he was and if he really was in control.

All that back and forth for these many issues just to say, yes, Jason let Joker’s words affect him.

So here it is, let Joker get in Jason’s head to build the plot of a story, fantastic, the story was a mess because it had so much information, the mischaracterizations of Roy and Kory were at their maximum potential, and in this particular story arc not only are the events of Red Hood: The Lost Days officially erased from Jason’s canon but something quite out there is added to Jason’s canon from before he was even Robin (that’s a whole different story that I won’t be talking about here).

What an insane ride this arc was. Definitely not the kind of story I enjoy in a Red Hood book but that’s just my preference.

*This whole arc was written by James Tynion IV.

Red Hood/Arsenal #11

Joker is dead during the events of this run but the person who has something to say to Jason about how the Joker made the person that he is now is Duela Dent (“Joker’s daughter”, she isn’t his daughter she just found Joker’s face somewhere and she puts it on and “becomes” crazy, she is an incredibly weird character).

She says this, “You’re a lot like dad in that way” to which Jason says “He is not my father. He’s not even your father” but Duela continues by saying. “You’re kidding yourself if you genuinely believe that. Yeah, he took your life but look what you got in its place, you ingrate. You got your freedom. You were reborn.” 

Jason doesn’t fall for it or anything of the sort but once again writers are bringing up the Joker as the maker of the Red Hood and “suggesting” that what Jason has been doing and who he has become is all thanks to Joker. The idea of Jason having no free will is still present in this narrative, even when Jason doesn’t believe it.

Red Hood/Arsenal #12

I talked too soon because in this issue Jason is having some weird thoughts.

“Funny, isn’t it, so easy to call Duela “crazy” because she wears a dead man’s face. Because isn’t that what I’m doing? Before he was the Joker, he was the Red Hood. So maybe the line between men and the Joker’s daughter is a lot thinner than I’d like to admit.”

Here he is comparing himself to Duela and to the Joker to an extent, writers often bring up the fact that Jason uses the code name that his killer once had and they have people or Jason himself questioning why he uses that name.

Personally, I don’t think there is much to build from it (at least not from the perspective of Lost Days and UtRH), it was just a joke, a morbid one if you will. He wears the mantle of the person that destroys Gotham and fills its people with fear while he is trying to control the city’s drug trade and trying to keep the people safe in his own way. And the way he wanted to do it is almost the complete opposite of the way that Batman does things.

I just think that he is being ironic and acidic about the whole thing. He has obviously moved on from the fact that Joker killed him but he has issues with the fact that Batman has yet another child working with him while the Joker is still alive. And Jason really wanted to make Bruce suffer, so him taking the name and a similar appearance to how the joker used to look is also done to get a reaction from Bruce.

I really don’t think there is any sort of connection to make between Jason and Joker beyond that, much like there is no connection between the name Nightwing and the Court of Owls. Even though Lincoln March tried to convince Dick Grayson that he chose the name Nightwing because Owls fly at night and that meant that he was supposed to become a Talon and all that Dick still didn’t believe it because he knew why he chose that name and no one can twist his reason.

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #10

Finally, I can stop re-reading New 52 books, I don’t enjoy it but I have to do it if I want to talk/complain about stuff.

This one is a little different because while Jason does talk with the Joker, the Joker isn’t really there he is just part of Jason’s imagination just like the Robin Jason that he is also seeing.

In this story, Jason is helping Artemis discover who she is but he gets captured in Qurac, yup that place, and worst of all from where he is being held, he can see the place where he died. All of that is helping Jason have some very vivid memories/illusions. He does actively hold a conversation with the imaginary Joker and Robin Jason though, and he is also having a lot of thoughts that let us know how the Joker affects Jason.

“This is why it was stupid of me to come back to Qurac. Even to help Artemis, even if I thought I could handle it. Physically, I am alone, but in my head? I’m drowning in memories of the worst day of what was my very short life. The day I was murdered.”

That’s what Jason is thinking but what I write next is what Jason’s saying as he talks to the imaginary Joker.

“Not interested in replaying this over again, like I have every night of my life since it happened Joker”

So, we are told that Jason thinks about that day very often, the Joker might not be involved much in Jason’s books but he definitely has a bigger role inside of Jason’s head. They chat for a bit up until Jason decides to “kill” the Joker, he knows, of course, that it is not real but it does give him satisfaction. (If only they would have let Jason actually kill the clown for real, or at the very least chase him just to show the reader that Jason does actually want to finish the job since the Bat won’t do it himself).

Having said all that, Joker’s imaginary death doesn’t last long because Jason is trapped in his mind and the Joker is basically functioning on a loop inside of it.

That is where the problem lies in this issue because Jason is letting us know that he is still heavily influenced by what happened that day and that he hasn’t been able to walk away from it. But once more that’s not the worst thing, because all of these thoughts have led Jason to think that he (in the present and as a fifteen-year-old) is the one to blame for having ended up dead. Yeah, it is messed up.

This is what Jason says to imaginary Robin Jason, “He is never going to die, Jason. Not here. Not in my mind, not if at some point I don’t stand up and walk away from my memories. From you.”

This is a major downgrade, from the Jason that we had in UtRH because that Jason had moved on from the fact that he had been killed what he was looking for was for Batman to avenge his death. He had other things in mind as well, like I said before in this post Jason had a lot of things going on, killing Joker wasn’t his only plan.

And this situation (written by Lobdell) is also very different from what was going on in New 52 where Jason being influenced by the Joker was used to build a plot. This is just a writer letting us know that this “new version” of Jason hasn’t worked out his problems when it comes to his death and his killer. That means that we are going backward.

After he realizes that he was unconscious all that time and that he was being tortured he does get his shit together in order to get out of captivity and go help Artemis.

The Joker and that whole thing that happened in his mind aren’t mentioned again, it was just for the reader to know that Rebirth Jason has unsolved issues with his death.

Batman: Three Jokers #1

Oh yes, here we are, we have arrived to that dreaded book, awful writing gorgeous art. In this book, the “Joker made Jason as he is now” trope is at its full potential; Johns drives this hellish truck of a book at full speed into our homes and then ends it by giving us one of the worst takes on Jason Todd’s characterization ever.

But first, let’s talk about the Joker and Jason interaction in the first issue. As Jason and Barbara are left alone with the Joker that they came across moments ago the Joker begins talking because that’s what he does.

He says this, “I’m the loop-de-loop, the hamster-wheel-of-doom. The cycle of pain each one of you is trapped in. Take “Red Hood” here, for example. Have you ever wondered why he uses my former moniker? Who in their right mind would take on the identity of their killer? Am I right?”

He is obviously being a little shit on purpose and is waiting to see if somebody will take the bait. Jason is the first to talk and he says this: “I took it because I’m owning what you did to me. You made me into this. I will be your destruction”.

Congratulations Jason, you took the bait, and now Barbara will fight with you over it.

Jason raises his gun to “break the cycle” and Barbara is like “please don’t do it” and boy is Joker having the time of his life! Both of these idiots are playing his game, Johns really did both Jason and Barbara dirty with this.

Here is where THE problem with letting the Joker talk is. This Joker got under Jason’s skin in seconds and Barbara did nothing while it happened.

This is what the Joker had to say. “Let’s look at the facts here bat-people. I bashed this boy’s skull in. I killed this Robin” to which Jason says “You didn’t kill me, you only made me stronger” which is weird because the Joker did kill him so I don’t know what kinda comeback that was supposed to be but Joker wasn’t done because he continues by saying “Yes, you crawled from the shallow grave I left you in. You lived on to fight another day. Hurrah! You survived because of your tenacity! Or maybe… maybe I beat you to a bloody mess… I took you right to the edge… because I wanted to leave you alive.”

Great that’s where the clown is going, just fantastic, more of the “I made you” but that’s not all because the Joker tells Jason that him having hurt Jason wasn’t because he didn’t like Jason, it was all about Batman, Jason doesn’t matter.

But that’s not the worse thing that was written in this awful book, Geoff Johns seems to have felt that the trauma that Jason went through in the original “Death in the Family” story wasn’t enough because he decided to add something new.

That’s why the Joker says this next, “Do you recall what you said to me while I was breaking your head in with that crowbar? As your blood streamed into your eyes and your skull cracked? Because I cherish those words. I’ll always cherish them. ‘Please stop! Please! If you let me live, I’ll do anything you say. I’ll be your Robin’” “And look at you now my little “Red Hood” shooting up people and making Batman’s life miserable! You are my Robin!”

What a nightmare Johns decided to put Jason and Jason Nation through huh? I hate this, this is the worst thing that has ever been written in a Jason Todd story (although I can say that about many things that were written in this three-issue book).

Jason kills the Joker after he says all that, Barbara does (for some reason) try to stop him from doing it but luckily, she can’t stop Jason.

But here is the thing, Jason killing the Joker doesn’t make me feel as satisfied as I would have liked, and it doesn’t feel that way because Jason let Joker talk for far too long and what Joker said ended up getting in Jason’s head and messing with him.

Batman: Three Jokers #2

Yeah, there is no rest for us, Jason Nation, in this issue Jason goes looking for another Joker to kill and he finds one but he gets captured. Johns really had to get Jason naked for Joker to torture him mentally and physically? Johns is, himself, a major red flag but that’s not what I am here to talk about.

In this issue the Joker that captures Jason has the same things to say as the other one, DC writers really have no imagination when it comes to building conflict between Joker and Jason, huh?

Anyway, Joker says this, “tell me something. Why would you put on that helmet and call yourself Red Hood after what we did?” Jason of course replies “Come on, is every one of you copycats gonna ask me the same thing? It’s a joke” the answer isn’t enough for Joker (the two of them that are here with Jason) so he continues talking. “A joke? We left you with brain damage and permanent nerve pain. Physical and emotional trauma so severe that the only relief you ever find is when you inflict pain on others. You and me, boy, we’re more alike than you’d care to admit. But you know that already. You nearly died and you blame the Batman. You hate him for it. Me too. You hate him most of all don’t you?”

Now, here is the thing, that whole thing is bullshit, none of it makes sense. From Jason having permanent nerve pain to Jason hating Batman the most, everything is a lie. And my confusion here is that I don’t know if I have to feel like Joker is doing it on purpose to be a little bitch or if Geoff Johns was on crack when he wrote this and he had actually never heard of Jason Todd in his life before.

The whole thing is a mess, it feels like he is writing Jason from an origin and story that we never read. I don’t know how to explain it, but the whole thing feels cheap, it’s a cheap trope and it’s a cheap take on who Jason Todd is, was, and will be.

The nightmare doesn’t end Jason Nation because these two Jokers have something else in mind, you see, if they said that they made the Red Hood when they killed Jason the first time, maybe if they kill him this time then he could possibly come back as the Joker. Yeah, this book did nothing for Jason.

Let’s make something clear, Jason does NOT hate Batman/Bruce for not being able to save him, he hates the fact that Batman/Bruce didn’t kill the Joker to avenge him. That simple thing doesn’t exist in Three Jokers and that’s why things like the ones that happen next are allowed to happen in this story.

Bruce and Barbara find Jason and when Bruce asks if he is okay Jason just goes berserk, he says: “Am I all right? What do you think Bruce?! You did this to me. You put me on this path. And I do hate you for it. For leaving me in the dirt. Replacing me one Robin after another without a thought.”

This, everybody is what you get when you mix bad writing with Jason being mentally manipulated by the Joker.

It's a shame that Jason is being treated this way at this point in time, in a book that came out in 2020 when Jason was able to shut the clown up with a knife and a couple of words back in 2005. What a downgrade.

At the end of this issue, Jason is safe and recovering but he still is in the same mindset, he says, “What the Joker said about how I’ve been on the path to being like them for years… they are not wrong. I don’t want to be like them though. I really don’t.”

It’s like a never-ending wheel of pain with this book. Jason is talking to Barbara when he says that and he is trying to look for comfort in her. And here is where the Jason/Barbara subplot begins and I only bring this up because something that happens in the next issue is based on the kiss that Barbara gave Jason but then was like “that doesn’t mean anything, I was just trying to comfort you”. Johns shouldn’t be allowed to write Barbara and Jason ever again.

Batman: Three Jokers #3

It’s in this issue that we find out the big subplot that Johns has prepared for Jason, are you ready for it? Yup, Jason should stop being the Red Hood because if he keeps it up, he will eventually become the Joker.

I know, I know! Jason would never stop being Red Hood, he is not on a path to become the Joker, that’s crazy! Jason’s Red Hood is a character on its own and he is amazing and just because he has different morals from Batman doesn’t mean that he is a bad guy! Right?...

“I’ll give up being Red Hood for us. I can be something else. Or I can be just Jason.”

To this day I cannot believe that those words supposedly were written by Jason Todd to Barbara Gordon after Barbara rejected him three times. The level of “what the fuck is this” is incredibly high with this one…

This whole book was a mess and I am so glad that it didn’t last longer.

Anyway, that’s it. In conclusion, Jason didn’t let the Joker get under his skin the first time they interacted after he came back from the dead but later when DC decided that UtRH was just too good of a book they came up with stories where Joker does get under Jason’s skin and Jason becomes convinced that he has no free will (or at the very least he doubts his free will) when it comes to him becoming his own man.

As I have said before, that for Jason Todd is a major downgrade. And it's one of the many things that hurts Jason’s characterization in current comics.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

How about B, I, L, U, V for our big boi Theo? :3c

Sure thing, bub!! Theo hcs coming right up! 💙💙💙💙

I really hope you like them!!!! :3c

Fluff ABCs Template here for requests

Body -- What is his favorite part of her body?

Do y’all have any idea how hard it is for me to answer this letter without making this horny hours.

ANYWAY losing my mind because my instinct was to respond with “her tears.” And then my brain was like. Minnie that’s not a part of the body…that’s not how any of this works…But let’s pretend for a moment like I am valid, shall we?

No cap, I die on this hill. And my answer comes in two parts. The first reason tears destroy him like nothing else is because of how much she feels for the van Gogh brothers tbh. I think Theodorus is very accustomed to their situation being seen through a lens of indifference, a kind of “oh well, what can be done ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” especially. While he may argue that he’s used to it, he’s full of shit. It hurts every time–even more so because people are being dismissive about the person he loves most in the world (other than her, of course.) He’ll be silent for the most part, usually pretty stoic if those things come up, but the way her eyes glisten with tears just undoes him. He feels stupid to be so affected, but it’s something else entirely when somebody actually gives a damn. Somehow it's harder to keep his composure under that gaze...

The second reason is more about teasing. He can’t resist getting a reaction out of her sometimes, or seeing her brought to frustrated tears. That lovely blush overtaking the tips of her ears and face, to say nothing if it happens during nsfw hours. They make her face shine, a visible manifestation of all the emotion he tries so hard to deny–to run from–that it just moves him like nothing else. Where he can't find words or proper expression, she always does. Leonardo said once that a single glance at that man and you can tell he’s in love with art. And he was right, save that that kind of passion can be found in him again in moments like this. Alone, driving her to madness and pleasure.

It’s the part of him that belongs to her, and her alone.

Injury -- How would he act if she got hurt?

Lmao call Vincent instead of Theo if you actually want anything productive to be done about it.

I’m KIDDING mostly but to be honest I think he has a hard time hiding his distress when MC is hurt. If it’s something small he’ll try to play it off as mild irritation, muttering about oblivious hondjes and how she needs to be more careful. If it’s something like a bruise or a bandaged cut–maybe she bumped into something–he’ll just clumsily try to pat the pain away. Don’t try to hide it from him either because he has eyes like a hawk and will expose you. He’ll be a dumdum but it’s really sweet because he’ll be so gentle over such a tiny wound (it always amuses Dazai so much) that all the men will have to kind of hold back laughter. They don’t mean to mock the guy but he takes it so seriously it’s a little bit funny. Vincent is so unironically proud of him for being sensitive though and it’s enough to make a girl cry TwT

If it’s a very serious injury I am sorry but you are getting nothing but probably a panic attack from him. He doesn’t really do well with even the slightest suggestion of losing a loved one, so if she breaks a bone or experiences excessive bleeding–whatever the risk may be to her life–he is fighting to stay in control of his body’s response. He’s trying so hard to be strong for her, but he can hardly breathe and his vision is a little fuzzy and did they say she would be unconscious for a few days? Needless to say he’s a bit of a mess. Ideally, Vincent would do his best to help the guy stabilize while he waits for things to improve, but it’s touch and go for a bit there.

When she wakes up, he needs as much gentleness as she does in many respects. The stress attacks and constant distress have just resulted in so much tension and exhaustion, he doesn’t even have the energy for any verbal swipes at anyone. (I was going to say “he’s just a big puppy” but the irony hit me so hard I literally couldn’t finish typing the sentence). He just really needs lots of kisses and hand holds and promises she isn’t going anywhere, completely unprompted. Not to be emo (WAKE ME UP) but he really needs to be brought back to life slowly, in a way. He’ll get better with some time and assurance that she’s going to make it, but oTL hondje please, he can only take so many heart attacks in one lifetime.

Love -- How does he show her he loves her?

He does not.

I’m KIDDING but I stand by the fact that he’s more of a show than tell type of guy. He has a really, really hard time verbalizing everything that he feels, so I think the person he loves would ideally have to keep that in mind. He’s lowkey but very classy, imo. Gets surprise flowers every once in a while, buys groceries after work all the time if she needs things at home, always reliable with taking care of their finances (and in general). I feel like the thing about Theodorus is that he’s the quiet romantic; he won’t smooth talk or endlessly go on about love, but when she needs him? He’s there. Come hell or high water. When things are hard, when things feel impossible, when life just feels like one slap in the face after another–he’s warm and there and steady, leading her by the hand.

He's very proactive about just about anything other than expressing his feelings directly, so write that down--

Upset --How does he act when she's upset?

LMFAO catch him crashing at Vincent’s place tonight, no thanks murderous hondje ain’t it for me, sorry sweaty.

All jokes aside, I think he’s the type of guy who just has no idea how to handle it. I mean she’s the one that’s usually pretty stable emotionally, so when she isn’t it tends to be a big deal–the cause of her foul mood has got to be sizable. While he may be stymied upfront, will most likely go after the root cause of her distress and kill it with a hammer when her back is turned. Nobody upsets his hondje (unless it’s him) and gets away with it. The man has two modes: kill and more kill, and so he uses the second one as necessary in these situations.

That being said, it doesn't mean he's completely bereft of sensitivity. If it's a more sorrowful kind of upset, he'll try to make time for a lot of cuddling and pampering. Get her things she likes to eat/drink, rub her back gently, put on a movie she likes (even if it's boring to him). He hopes that some care and a few little distractions will be enough to calm her soon. He loves his hondje best when she's smiling, after all ùwú

Vaunt -- What is he proud of? Does he like to show her off?

Oh my goddddddd. Bih. If this man suffers from a cardinal sin, it’s pride I swear. Even if he’s Mr. Bad Mood Stink Face he will literally never say a bad word about her. There are so many people convinced he’s deadass got some kind of disorder because he has scary face, but also looks so delighted at the same time it's terrifying. Gets all puffed up about what a hard worker she is, how talented, how he couldn’t have done any of this without her. Even when he’s roaring drunk, now he just rambles on and cries about how much he loves her and Vincent and it’s beyond hilarious. Would throw down for her, would die for her, would steal a clown’s balloon for her–you name it.

She can do absolutely no wrong, so write that down.

Has a love hate relationship with showing her off (in the more blatant way) though because. Homewrecking. Does she look lovely in that dress? Undoubtedly so. If he sees one more gross lustful/covetous gaze directed at her though, he’s just gonna leave with her in tow. (He would throw hands but she doesn't like that.) Y’all know the whole Lord of The Rings’ “My p r e c i o u s” thing? That’s his vibe LMFAO. Depending on his mood he will either be like "hell yeah that's my wife you jealous bih, I'm the luckiest guy ever ik now buzz off" or he will just get more and more lowkey steamed until they leave.

[sakiyo]

━ # HAIKYUU BOYS AS YOUR COLLEGE ROOMATES PT. 1

+ pairings: atsumu miya/reader

+ tags: atsumu bring a messy dude </3, platonic-ish relationship, uni!au

+ warnings: very brief mentions of sex, weed and alcohol, partying

+ word count: a lot probably idk they’re headcanons

+ note: this is gonna be a series but atsumu’s was wayyy too long!! the rest will probably be much shorter [i was too attached to these hcs to shorten them so enjoy]. thank you @kiyoomae for helping me with these mwah ily beaut <3

© all content from this blog belongs to ushigushi 2020. do not repost, modify, or plagiarize.

ATSUMU MIYA

girl...RUN

he’s a great person sure

but he’s not the BEST roommate

not even osamu wants to room with him, but honestly he just wants cheap rent [like every other student alive]

so when he sees a ‘roommate wanted’ poster on campus, he basically believes that this a sign from god that he should go to your interview

one thing about atsumu:

HES A CATFISH!

he knows that first impressions are one of the most important things in life [mostly because of volleyball and what not]

so naturally he’s going to act the way you want him to !! toxic trait: subtle manipulation i’m telling you

and so when he shows up at your place, hes pretty much perfect. he looks put together and his fit is immaculate okay?

usually, you aren’t one to judge a book by its cover, but when it comes down to roommates….better safe than sorry babe

and the second atsumu mentions his gravitation towards volleyball and sports, you feel like you’ve won the lottery.

a clean and well put roommate who ALSO spends most of their time away from the apartment? what more could you ask for?

and as a quick bonus: HES HOT!! [so you can definitely brag to your friends about the attractive roommate you scored]

you’re quick to say yes, and as soon as you know it he’s added to the contract with your landlord!

atsumu keeps up his facade for another two weeks or so; washing dishes, keeping clean, never being too noisy and giving you your personal space

but when he finally shows his true colours?

you’re not sure if you want to strangle him or rip out your hair strand by strand

whew....he is messy.

atsumu [osamu too] is a momma’s boy, he’s never really had to do dishes or anything like that unless he has to

he never does his dishes. you ALWAYS end up washing them because you prefer a tidy kitchen

dont get me started on the cups

he uses YOUR cups and leaves them littered around the apartment like they’re easter eggs for you to hunt. one time, you found your favourite mug under a couch???

his room is no different either

you prefer to stay away from it, but you had caught a glimpse of it through his partially open bedroom door

....it’s a lot to process.

there are plates on his desk, disposable cups and crushed soda cans on his nightstand, clean laundry in different corners of the room and you swear you see a half full bottle of vodka that had gone missing from your own alcohol cabinet

but for some reason his room still manages to smell like lavender. and you hate that fact.

he NEVER has his house keys on him

he pretty much has you on speed dial because the amount of times this man has forgotten his keys inside the house is WILD

him: hey roomie...it’s me again...

you: atsumu it’s 11 pm and i’m out with friends, i’m not driving back just to open the door for you

him: then what am i going to do??

you: sit there and starve.

so he sits against your apartment door, playing games on his phone and texting his friends

he’s also getting clowned in the gc by suna and osamu PLS ATSUMU GO HOME [oh wait-]

when one of your neighbours pass by or see him sitting there he just gives that rlly awkward white person smile that’s like 😐

HIS PHONE DIES TOO FROM USING IT SO MUCH TOO RKDKGKJ

so basically he’s sitting there, hungry and bored.

when you come back, he’s almost asleep, a little bit of drool hanging on at the side of his mouth

“wake up, i brought you food.”

atsumu might be an annoying roomie, but you’re not heartless.

he 100% gets hair dye all over the bathroom, and he NEVER washes it out

so you’re not too happy when you have to replace your rug because there was a massive bleach stain on it

he uses your shampoo and conditioner, GENEROUSLY TOO

like atsumu...sir 🤣🤚 that shits like 20 dollars! stop using globs of it at once

istg you could buy a new bottle of shampoo/body wash and it’s already halfway through after a week or so

he promises that he’ll stop, but it just gets worse

NEVER let this man go grocery shopping for you by himself, you’ll get everything BUT what you asked for

okay, he does get you what you asked for, but not really

you ask for wheat bread and he gets white bread. you ask for vanilla ice cream and he gets you chocolate

why??

“i think it’s better than what you originally put down.”

you want a new roommate.

but as time passes by, you deduce that he has some redeeming qualities: like how fun he is when drunk, or how he can keep you entertained for hours about his surprisingly interesting days

you’ve met his friends too! they all love you

but they’re also quite sorry for you for having to put up with atsumu

sometimes, you’ll even join them with them when they’re all hanging in your living room

you never miss the small blush that creeps onto tsumus face whenever his old teammates tell you about the stories he deliberately left out to make himself look cooler [pls give this man love he needs it]

suna: wait i have a video of him getting pummeled in the face with a volleyball-

atsumu: ALRIGHT ITS TIME FOR YOU GUYS TO GO!!

atsumu: y/n has a test tomorrow!!

you: tomorrow’s saturday-

if you two have roommate rules, he definitely breaks some of them

no parties without you knowing??? like hell he’s following that

atsumu likes to party! he doesn’t mind hosting one or two every now and then

so he picks a day that he knows you’ll be out for the night, most likely studying because you won’t be back home until around 1 am

so the apartment is a mess and it’s partially trashed, there’s a lingering scent of weed and alcohol, someone probably vomited in your sink, and it’s loud.

so loud that you can hear it from the elevator.

you had decided to come home early and surprise atsumu with his favourite takeout, but you’re already met with tipsy and wasted bodies littered along the corridors, and it doesn’t take very long for you to put two and two together and realize it’s atsumu’s doing

long story short, you and atsumu have to go around the apartment to deliver personal apologies to your neighbours [this definitely isn’t your first or last warning]

in terms of hookups?

atsumu doesn’t care too much for sexual relationships, since his priority lies in volleyball and actually graduating, but he’ll have someone over every now and then

usually, it’s meant to be a time when you’re not around, because the walls are thin as fuck

but atsumu doesn’t really care in the heat of the moment

so yeah, you definitely want to neuter him when you hear incoherent moans and a headboard creaking

the morning after, you immediately chase his one night stand out of the apartment and go off on him for a second

after a few months, atsumu doesn’t get on your nerves as much

you could go as far as to call him a friend

during exam and midterm weeks, you both study together and even order takeout— which leads to the two of you passing out in your living room due to pure exhaustion

YOU HELP HIM DYE HIS HAIR

atsumu sometimes doesn’t get all of his spots because he can only do so much by himself

so after you hear his frustrated groans, you’re willing to help him dye his hair.

and from there it basically becomes a routine

you were also the one who introduced  him to TONER!!

he swears that you changed his life

he also walks around in nothing but his boxers because it’s comfortable but gets flustered and ‘mad’ when you wear nothing but an old t-shirt

forces you to come to him games to cheer loudly for him

this man- he asks you to cheer for him when he does his serve routine and when you do his head gets so big

but he denies it when his teammates tease him about you

half of his clothes have made its way into your closet! but honestly, he does not mind

his cute roommate is wearing his sweats and a hoodie with his name at the back of it, why would he be mad?

you’ve hooked up with him at least twice.

[seongwhy]

ateez if a curvier girl liked them

disclaimer!! i am 100% sure these boys would like you for you and not for how many curves you have. you are beautiful no matter what !!! as a curvier girl myself, writing this made me happy hehe

seonghwa

let’s be honest. seonghwa loves curvy girls

i mean he loves all girls, but smth abt a curvy lady gets him going

so imagine his face when a curvy girl likes him !!!!!

you’d tell him “seonghwa... u kinda cute doe” and he’d be like😳😃

he’s had his eye on you for a while

he jus luvs your personality and your humour

and your curves

tbh he’s snuck a glance every now and then

you’d bend down to grab the tv remote and suddenly he’s blushing and thinking of everything he’d do to u omg

or you’d wear a crop top and sit down and your belly might show a lil bit and he melts in his seat

all he wants is to feel ur pretty body

but .. unfortunately u didn’t think that he would like you

you thought that he only had his eye out for the slimmer girls, but that was simply not true queen

so it took u a sec to confess your feelings for him

but once you did you were so surprised at his response

“hey seonghwa, i know that you probably don’t think the same but like i rlly think ur cute and funny and pretty and i rlly like u but i know i’m not rlly ur type and like that’s fine-“

“wait!!! u like me”

“i like u too !!!!!!! who tf told u that ur not my type bc i will beat them up ur gorgeous who told u that >:((((“

and u explain to him that it was just ur brain and he says Never to think that about yourself !!!! bc you are beautiful !!!!

and then ur both just uwu in love with each other and he’s in love w ur curves and ur in love with his chicken legs and it’s amazing and wonderful and you’re so happy you said something bc otherwise you wouldn’t have found the love of ur life :’)

hongjoong

hongjoong is Obsessed

obsessed w your thighs and your tummy and your booty

when u tell him u like him he’s not only like “holy shit i like you too” he’s imagining alllllll the things he can do w u and ur curves

when u first start going out and dating and such it’s great it’s amazing he makes you laugh and you feel beautiful bc he makes you feel beautiful

but when you start opening up to him about your insecurities you thought things would change

but they didn’t !!!!!!!! he started loving u harder

and every day since that first time you cried in his arms he tells you you’re beautiful

“hi honey u look gorgeous”

“baby !!!!! i love that dress on you”

“hey bb, since i can’t see you today i’m just letting u know that you’re beautiful !! and i love and miss you !!!!”

“there’s my fav tummy!!”

he will not Stop telling you how beautiful u are you’re not complaining

he thinks ur a queen and he treats you like one

he loves all of you. all the cellulite and all the curves and all dimples

and he’s not shy abt it either ;)

yunho

ok listen up sweeties

yunho doesn’t rlly pay attention to figure

i mean ofc he LOves your body and he thinks you’re beautiful

but he would not like you if not for your personality

which is absolutely amazing

and so he doesn’t rlly understand when you tell him that you don’t wanna eat that ice cream or the pizza

he thinks you’re beautiful (bc you are) so why don’t u think you’re beautiful too ??????

why won’t u eat w him ????

why wont you take ur shirt off in front of him ???

so one day he brings u mcdonald’s and a shamrock milkshake yummy!!!!

and he sits down w u and watches you try and do everything but eat

so he stops u and looks at u and tells u everything you’ve ever wanted to hear

“babe plz eat in front of me... i think your body is beautiful and i think you’re beautiful and i would not buy u food if i didn’t think so”

and u know this is true bc yunho loves his food and his own shamrock shakes

so u smile at him and lay in his arms and u eat that damn burger!!!!!!

he makes all your insecurities go away

he loves u so much u literally can’t breathe

he’s always hugging you and feeling you up and wrapping his huge arms around u

and he makes u so comfy with yourself

and you love him

and he loves u

yeosang

ok yeosang loves u

and u know it he lowkey highkey makes it obvious

everytime you walk in he either 1) gets all blushy and stops talking mid sentence

“dude!!! stop destroying my fucking hous- uh uh h-hi y/ n”

i don’t actually know what they do in fortnite but if u do and this is wrong just imagine minecraft instead

or 2) he tries to be all tuff and show off

“oh hey y/n” he says as he casually rolls up his sleeve and stretches

but what he Doesn’t know is that u like him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he thinks ur waaaaaay our of his league

i mean just take a look at u!!! ur thighs ur belly ur boobiez

p e r f e c t i o n

but one day he accidentally walks in on you and seonghwa talking (he thinks u like seonghwa)

and he hears u like “idk seong he’s really cute and so nice to me and such an angel... also have u seen dem arms doe !!”

and What The Heck

yeosang cannot believe it

u???? the girl of his DREAm s ??? likes HIM ???

and what do u know when he hears that he suddenly can’t keep his balance and trips right over

over what exactly ?? his dignity

and he falls right in front of u and seonghwa

seonghwa just snickers and laughs and leave the room

yeosang just stares at u for a moment before getting up and just staring at u some more

“uh yeosang?? u good”

“h a hah yeah .. i’m good”

“ok. did u hear the part where i said i think you’re cute”

“. yes i did y-es”

“ok. do u like me too”

“uh y-yeah i uh yes”

“ok. get over here dummy”

“👁👄👁”

san

ok we all know san

this weirdo

this secs ee mf that gives zero fucks

haha mmmm

^^^^ that’s what he’s like every time u walk by

idk it’s getting late i’m tired plz don’t judge

when he sees u he’s all like hehehbajsbs ajdosndbdniejn ùwú

but externally he’s like heh he h wassup

and he makes hand gestures at u like outlining ur curvy body

and winking at u

and let’s be honest he may or may not have slapped dat ass a few times

and even though it’s kinda nasty u kinda like it

u know he means well and it’s just one way he shows his love and appreciation for u

and he wouldn’t do it if you told him no !!! consent is key

and u consent bc u like the way he gets slightly flustered everytime he does it

eventually u have to give in one day bc he’s been teasing you long enough

so one day ur walking by him and he smacks ur dump truck and u spin around and grab his arm and pull him up to ur chest

and he’s like HUH

and ur like hi sannie

and he’s like “h-hi”

AND THEN U KISS HIM

AND HE LOVES IT

and he’s feeling u up and he sits you down and pulls him into his lap

and ur scared that ur too much for that

so when u start pulling away he’s like “NO I LIKE U HERE STAY U LOOK SO ORETTY SITTING ON ME”

and u giggle and stay

and then more kissing and cuddling and loving

and he makes u laugh and feel good

and u make him happy and so excited all the time

and it’s sooo good omg he luvs allllll of u so much

mingi

i may have a soft spot for this man

he’s jus so weird and funky

but he’s so cute like idk

don’t tell seonghwa

ANYWAY

those are your exact thoughts abt him too

your relationship was always like....there was tension there

ofc u always thought abt him

and he always thought abt u

u lived in his head rent free

ur curves and dimples and amazing bodyodyody

accompanied w ur amazing personality!!! what could he not love

so when u became friends he was already obsessed w u

he’s always whiny and needy for ur attention

when the boys are there he’s like “😎😈💪🦵”

BUT WHEN YOURE THERE

he does a full 180

his voice goes from deep and scruffy to all soft

the boys clown him for it

but he doesn’t care

he sends u memes all the time

he texts you every day

at first it was an occasional hey wsp and now it’s like “good morning!! how’d u sleep” “hey bb girl wanna go get boba” “u looked rlly good today”

it makes ur heart flutter

and when he started calling u baby girl in PERSON

U DIED

and tbh he didn’t mean to say it the first time it just slipped out BUT he loved the way it made u blush and look down and cross your legs a lil

so he just couldn’t stop saying it

eventually the reaction u had went down a lil bc u got used to it

and that was when he decided he needed to do more

so eventually he got up the courage on a boba date to stop u and sit u down on a bench

and when u were like yes what is it mango

it took him a sec bc u looked so PRETTY in your dress

your thighs crossed and the way your boobies sat in it

he couldn’t help but stare (respectfully)

and u were like HELLo

and he cleared his throat and was like “ur really pretty”

and u blushed and covered yourself w ur arms

and he was like No >:( ur gorgeous and took your hands in his

and kissed them and kissed your arm all the way up to ur face

and he kissed your cheeks and was like these cheeks are so cute

and kissed ur nose and was like i love your nose

and then ur lips

and he didn’t have to say anything for you to know he loved your lips just as much as he loved your everything else

wooyoung

okay if i thought hongjoong was obsessed .

wooyoung is a whole other story

as soon as u step into the room ur the only one that matters

he would stop answering the boys

he would only be looking at you

trying his best to make u laugh it works

bc he loves the way your face lights up when u smile

and how your body shakes when u laugh

and he loves talking to u

abt anything and everything

so he becomes your very best friend

and when u get comfortable to share your insecurities with him he gets so sad and mad

he gets so ANGERY

he’s like WHO SAID THAT WHY WOULD U THINK THAT U ARE AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND AKSJDJAJFJAKL

and one day ur ranting to him about something SOME DUMB ASS BOY said to u in class

AND HES LIKE I WILL BEAT HIM UP NO ONE TALKS TO MY BABY LIKE THAT

and ur like 😳 “y-your baby?”

and he’s like oh fuck fuck fuck fuck

he starts to apologize and ramble

and u just giggle

he’s like ??????

and ur like “i’ll be your baby wooyoungie”

“if you’ll be mine too”

AND HE CANNOT BELIEVE

he runs up to u and picks u up and spins u around and he kisses u and he’s like MY BABY

“dats ma baby and aint nobody finna touch em”

^^ that’s what he’s like w u

and he’s so happy youre his and he’s yours

cuz now he gets all your curves to himself hehehehehehehehehe

jongho

jongho is such a softie

especially for u

he melts everytime he sees your soft skin and your pretty face

he tries really hard to be all tuff around u

but it never pans out

bc he’s so in luv w how pretty you are

in his mind u are the most perfect person ever

he lets u vent to him abt anything

he likes to talk to u abt everything

deep or not

and one day you’re like “hey jongho, i’ve never heard u talk abt a girl before”

and he goes all blushy and is like ha ha i uh i guess u haven’t

and u ask if he has a crush

and he goes even redder

and ur like “U DO OMG TELL KE ABT HER”

sooooo he does

“well she really pretty and has such a kind heart and beautiful eyes and an amazing smile and the prettiest curves i’ve been talking to her for a while and she makes me so happy”

“she’s so gorgeous but she doesn’t think so and it makes me really angry i just wanna tell her she’s beautiful”

and ur like “awww just tell her then! she’ll love hearing that from you” oblivious mf

so jongho sits up straight and looks u right in the eyes and says “ok then. you’re beautiful y/n”

you’re eyes go wide and u open ur mouth to say smth but nothing comes out

so u just hug him

and he wraps his arms around u and says “it’s true, you’re so beautiful”

and u just hug him tighter

and the night is perfect :,)

and he’s perfect

and he’s so grateful u asked him that question

[hypnosisbuttd]

Hypnosis is Bullshit

(A gay Hypnosis Story)

“Alright Campers!” Chris shouts to the contestants in the cafeteria “It’s time for your next challenge!”

“What now?” Duncan asks annoyed.

“Aw what? Do you not enjoy my challenge?” Chris says sadly

“No” All of the contestants say simultaneously

“Rude...” Chris says, faking being offended. “Well it doesn’t matter cause you’re doing it anyways! Meet me out by the cabins! No not your housing arrangements, the OTHER cabins.”

Chris then proceeds to disappear.

The Campers leave their cafeteria, but then Duncan and Trent get into a little scuffle outside the doors.

“Don’t fucking push me dude” Trent snapped

“Well if your slow ass wasn’t taking up the entire doorway I wouldn’t have needed to” Duncan responds

“Bastard, you wanna fight me?” Trent threatens

“Try me bitch” Duncan challenges“

Oh my god, break it up you two.” Heather sighs

“You stay out of this you black haired dog eater” Duncan sneers

“AIGHT BITCH YOU WANNA GO?!” Heather says threatening Duncan as Lindsay holds her back.

“Ha, you’re so easy to get a reaction out of” He laughs

“Ugh! I really wish someone would knock you down a peg you brat!” Heather shouts

“Duncan I really think you should back off” Gwen suggests

“Aw come on you know you love it baby”“Ew...” Gwen says backing off.

“Y’all gonna head over to the Cabins, or Am I gonna have to drag your clown asses over there?” Leshawna asks

“Tch, fine” Duncan reluctantly lets up

(Nobody messes with Leshawna)

The campers settles their conflict and head out to the old cabins in the wood. 6 of them have spirals painted on them.

“This challenge is a 1 on 1 hypnosis challenge, each of one of the former screaming gophers will compete with one of the former Killer Bass to hypnotize each other in one hour. Whoever succeeds will be allowed to do whatever they want with the other, whoever does the most embarrassing thing to the other when the timer is up wins, the judge will as always be me.” Chris explains

“As stupid as this challenge is, there is a slight problem Chris” Duncan calls out

“And that is?” Chris asks

“Hypnosis ain’t real you fucking moron.” He shouts

“Yes it is!” Izzy shouts “Ive seen plenty of government facilities use Hypnosis on Politicians to get them favorably on one side of the Spectrum or on enemy soldier to reveal critical information! But I’m completely resistant to it cause I was born colorblind!” Izzy rants

“And we’re supposed to believe the crazy lady why?” Duncan asks

Izzy growls

“Anyways here are your teams”

“Leshawna and Eva, you’ll go to the first cabin”

“Ha good luck, I have an Iron Will” Eva notes

“Team 2 will be Heather and Bridgette”

“Yeah no, I’m not letting this bitch control me. You’re going down Heather” Bridgette threatens

“Team 3 is Lindsay and Izzy”

“This will go down well...” Duncan mutters sarcastically

“Team 4 is Geoff and Gwen”

“Aight little lady! We got this!” Geoff cheers

“I don’t think you understand this challenge” Gwen says

“Team 5 is Owen and DJ”

“Oh fuck no” Trent and Duncan say simultaneously

“And Team 6 will be Duncan and Trent! Ha ha ha” Chris laughs

“Fuck you and your idiot ass McLain” Duncan says flipping the bird at McLain before waking inside the cabin.

“I could have had it worse...” Trent suggests trying to keep it positive.

The two of them wander inside the cabin and did the room lined with various Hypnosis tools.

Duncan just sighs“God this shit it stupid... I mean look at this” He picks up a ray gun “Hypno Gun? My gif what do they think we are? 5? I’m so done with this. Let’s just wait the hour out I don’t even care if we lose”

“Whatever...” Trent sighs.

Duncan sits down on one of the coaches while Trent wanders around the room.

After a bit of searching however, Trent notices a small tape sitting in the corner of the room, he picks it up and the Tape Reads ‘Easy White Noise Hypnosis’. Trent, wanting a bit of laugh but also not caring, removes the label and replaces it with a label he had on one of his other tapes titled ‘Heavy Punk Rock Favorites’.

He then proceeds to sit next to Duncan

“Da fuck do you want?” Duncan snaps

“Well I decided since we’re going to be here a while, I thought you would like to listen to some music. I know you’re a punk rock fan, so I got some of my favorites.” He hands the tape to Duncan

“I mean you’re choice in Music probably sucks but whatever...” Duncan plugs in a pair of headphones into the tape and begins listening.

“Dude this is just white noise, what the fuck is this?” Duncan asks clearly confused

“It’s a start up noise, it’ll probably take a couple minutes to start up” Trent lied

Duncan relents and continues to sit there. After a few minutes, his expression begins to go slack and he sits there looking confused.

“Dude... This shit is making my head feel... funny...” Duncan slurs. He goes to take off the headphones.

“Up bup bup bup” Trent places his hands on his and keeps the headphones “Just keep going”

“But... I...”

“Ssshhh” Trent shush him. Duncan giggles a little before continuing on.

After a couple more minutes, Duncan is gone full slack. His eyes are crossed and drool is slowly dripping down the side of his mouth. Trent waves his hand in front of Duncan, he doesn’t even react. He just sits there.

Holy shit did it actually work? Trent thinks. He decides to test his theory.

“Duncan can you hear me?” Trent asks

“Yeah...” Duncan mumbles

“Are you willing to obey my commands?” He asks

“Sure” Duncan slurs

“Stand in front of me...” He orders

Duncan stands up and walks in front of Trent.

No way... Trent thinks This can’t be real. I guess the only way to know is if I make him do something so embarrassing that if he’s pranking me he’ll have to let up...

“Alright Duncan listen to me. When I snap my fingers, you will become a Sexy Gay stripper who’s here to strip for me. You love showing your bare ass for people and you’re super horny. Ok?”

Duncan just drools

Theres no way... Trent thinks

Trent snaps his fingers and Duncan wakes up and stares directly at Trent. He then placed Hands on either side of Trent

Yup he’s definitely going to kill me

“Why Hello there Sexy” Duncan purrs

OH MY GOD Trents Mind Screams

Duncan stands up and admired Trent “Damn when they sent me for this job, I didn’t expect my client to be so sexy.” He says seductively

“Thank you...” Trent says trying to hold in his laughter

“Anyways let’s get on with the show shall we?” Duncan says pulling off his shirt slowly.

Trent just stares in awe as Duncan slowly pulls off his clothes. First he tosses off his shirt and lets Trent feel his pecs. Then he pulls off his pants and gives Trent a lap dance. Finally when Trent thought it was going to end, Duncan leaned in by his ear“

Since you’re such a special client case, I’ll give you a bonus show.” He whispers seductively.

Duncan stands up and pulls off his underwear, bearing his ass for Trent to see. He throws the underwear off to the side and exposes himself directly in front of Trent.

“Like what you see?” Duncan says winking

Trent could feel himself getting hard.

Wait what?

Trent looked down to see himself indeed having a hard on at the site of Duncan

What the? I’m straight! What the heck is going on?

Duncan leans in quietly and sets himself on Trents lap“What do you say me and you find the bedroom, and take care of that little problem of yours” Duncan says pulling at the edge of Trents pants

“Alright that’s enough! Sleep!” Trent calls out

Duncan immediately falls limp, his body crashing into Trents chest. Trent realized how Tiny Duncan was especially without the clothes and laughed to himself a little.

Hmm what should I do with you now? Trent thinks.

He looks down at Duncan’s muscular form. And immediately comes up with a devilish plan.

“Alright Duncan… You can still hear me correct?” He asks

“Ye…” Duncan slurs.

“Alright, when I wake you up, you will think you are a professional wrestler. And I am your opponent. You will try and punch and dent but will not have enough strength to do so. Meanwhile when I even slightly tap you, you will feel excruciating pain. And the only way You can make it stop is by me surrendering. Understood?” Trent explains.

Duncan moans.

“Ok… Then go…” Trent snaps his fingers.

Duncan sits up instantly and stares directly at Trent. He smiles and growls.

“Look at you. Little Princess. You think you can beat me?” Duncan sneers.

Trent stands up. “Psh, you’re all talk…” He laughs.

“Oh yeah. Then let’s see how you like this?” Duncan aims a punch directly for Trents face, but when he touches his face, it’s no more than a slight touch. Duncan backs up.

“You’re sturdy…” He mutters.

“Wanna try that again?” He asks

“Grr TAKE THIS!!!” Duncan runs up to him and grabs him around the arms. He attempts to lift Trent up, but fails miserably.

Trent just laughs and flicks Duncan’s nose. Duncan backs up and covers his nose in pain.

“Dude what the fuck?! How did you do that?” He says rubbing his nose.

“Just luck I guess.” Trent slaps Duncan’s back and he collapses to the ground writing in pain.

“OK DUDE I SURRENDER!! PLEASE JUST STOP!!!” Duncan screams.

Trent pulls Duncan’s legs over his shoulders and Duncan writhes in pain.

“Say it!” Trent snaps

“Say what?” Duncan whimpers.

“Say you’re a princess…” He tugs on his leg.

Duncan winces hard. “GAAAH! Fine! I’m a Princess! I’m a pretty little bitch princess.”

“Why couldn’t Mario find you?”

“I was in another castle! Obviously!”

“And what we’re you doing there?”

“Probably getting fucked by You.” He laughs.

Trent stands there silent for a moment as he drops Duncan lies on the ground writhing.

“I surrender.” He mumbles.

Duncan’s pain vanishes and he quietly gets up and turns to Trent.

“You ok dude?” He asks

“Why did you say I was getting fucked by you? Why the fuck would you say that?” He growls.

“Dude, I just think your hot. I’m not tryna make you mad. If anything, I think you’d make a great top!” Duncan laughs.

Trent just sighs. “Sleep…”

Duncan falls forward and collapses into Trents arms. Trent quietly sits him on the floor and sits next to him thinking.

Did he really mean that? Trent thinks

He looks over at Duncan, who’s drooling on the floor and looking spaces out. Trent quietly contemplates for a moment before realizing his final trick. The thing he would do for Chris’s competition.

“Alright Duncan, can you hear me?” Trent asks.

“Mm…” Duncan quietly mumbles.

“Great then here’s what we’re gonna do.”

(Time skip to the end of the competition ton)

“Aaaaaand Times Up!” Chris blows his air horn. “Let’s see what we got now!”

“Duncan was right! You’re bullshitting McLain!” Gwen snaps.

“None of that stuff worked! All of the tools were fake!” Leshawna explains.

“Yeah! And I should know! I know what Hypnosis stuff looks like!” Izzy shouts.

“Really? It was supposedly real when I bought it online.” Chris says nervously.

“Yeah well I can guarantee that not a single one of us completed the challenge.” Bridgette snaps

“Actually I did!” Trent raised his hand.

Everyone turns to look at him in surprise.

“You can’t be serious…” Heather says tiredly.

“I am! And I have proof!” Trent quietly walks down the steps, a small figure crouches down behind him.

“Is that…” Gwen attempts to peak around.

Trent calls the small figure. “Come on, don’t be shy…”

The figure crawls quietly to Trents feet and reveals itself to be Duncan, but he’s different. His usual green Mohawk, now he had his air in a sort of wild style, kind of slicked back, but with a bit of a tip. But that was the least of the Changes. He was completely naked except for a pair of black ears and a large black tail stuck into his ass. And he had a collar with a bone collared name tag on it saying “Damian” attached to a leash that Trent was holding.

“No way…” Izzy says shocked.

“His name is Damian now. He’s a cutie aint he?” He says scratching Damian behind the ears. Damian pants in happiness.

“This isn’t real…” Heather says laughing.

“It is. I Hypnoed him to be a good boy. I taught him a couple tricks while I had the time.” Trent explains.

He points to in front of him and Damian walks up and “stands” on all fours in front of Trent.

“Sit…”

Damian sits like a dog looking at Trent expectantly.

“Roll over.”

Damian lies down then rolls onto his back, then rolls back onto his stomach and sits up.

“Speak!”

Damian barks.

“Wag your tail!”

Damian sticks his butt up in the air, and begins wagging his fake tail. Damian looks at Trent happily.

“Good boy!”

Trent pulls a cookie out of his pocket and dangles it in front of Damian. Damian grabs it and begins munching on the cookie. Once he’s finished, Trent pulls out a large beef bone and hands it to Damian. Damian takes it in his mouth and quietly circles around Trent before lying at his feet and viciously chewing on the bone.

“This is insane!” Owen looks in shock.

“HES SO CUTE!!!” Lindsay squeals.

“Oh how the tables have turned…” Heather smirks.

Chris looks at Trent in shock. He regains his composure and smiles at Trent. “Well then! Congratulations, Trent! You have won immunity!” Chris announces.

“And Damian, he’s my dog, after all.” Trent reaches down and scratches Damian behind the ears again. Damian whines in happiness.

“Ugh… Fine! Damian gets Immunity too… You have to change him back by the end of the week though!” Chris adds.

“Yeah yeah…” Trent waves it off.

(One week later, after Eva is eliminated)

Trent walks up to Damian, who had been quietly sleeping under Trents bunk. He ques for Damian to come out and Damian shuffles out and quietly waits for Trents command.

“Alright welp its time for you to go back to normal…”

Damian frowns and cries at Trent.

“I know I know… But Chris said it’s the requirement…” Trent says petting Damian.

Reluctantly, Damian sits back in normal position.

“Goodbye for now Damian…”

Damian barks one more time and nuzzles into Trents hand.

“And sleep…”

Duncan’s eyes roll over and he returns to sleep mode.

“Alright Duncan, I want you to take all the memories of you as Damian and tuck them safely away. It’ll be there, but you can’t open it unless I ask you to. Ok?” Trent explains.

Duncan mumbles what sounded like a yes.

“And other than that, when I snap my fingers, you will wake up as your Normal self, with all the memories of what you did. Ok?” Trent asks

Duncan nods.

“Ok, and go.” Trent snaps his fingers.

Duncan’s eyes snap back to reality and he looks at Trent in disgust.

“The fuck is up with-“ He stops as his memories come in “OH FUCK YOU!!!” Duncan gets up and lightly shoved Trent. Trent laughs.

“Yup! I got you!” Trent says.

“Oh god! How the fuck did That work?” Duncan asks

“Honestly? I just kinda got lucky! But I wasn’t wasting a golden opportune moment like this!” Trent laughs.

“Tch, whatever.” Duncan crosses his arms. But shockingly his expression softens.

“Hey… about that Damian thing…” He mumbles.

“What about it?” I ask strangely.

“Do you think you could do it again sometime…” He asks quietly.

Trent looks at him surprised “You’re not serious?!” Trent says shocked.

“Yes I am. I kinda like being Damian. I know I act like a bad boy all the time but, to be Damian would be like having just… a lay off of that I guess…” Duncan mumbles.

Trent seems to think for a moment, before nodding and reaching his hand out towards Duncan. “Deal!”

Duncan grasps his hand and shakes it. “Thanks.”

Duncan begins quietly walking out when Trent stops him.

“Aren’t you gonna put on clothes?” Trent laughs.

Duncan looks back at him and smirks.

“Dogs don’t wear clothes”

(END)

[holylulusworld]

Miss Piggy

Summary: You are head over heels for your elder brother’s best friend – sadly he doesn’t reciprocate the feelings.

Pairing: Biker!Bucky x Rogers!Reader, Steve x Sister!Reader, Sam Wilson, Brock Rumlow, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Wanda Maximoff, Carol Danvers, OFC’s

Warnings: angst, unrequited love, language, Bucky being a douche, mentions of violence, remorse, awful dates, mentions of sex

Music blares through the night. You can smell the booze and beer in your brother's living room, just like cheap perfume and sweat as his friends talk, drink, and laugh.

Steve insisted that you shall join the party. Working the whole week and spending your time in your room is not the way he imagined how you spend your life.

“Get a beer, relax and dance with the girls.” Steve tries to make you feel comfortable around his friends, but most of the time you feel like you do not belong.

Nat, Wanda, and Carol are nice, but the other girls drawn to your brother and his friends, are always bitching around.

While Steve’s female friends are nice, even drag you out of your shell sometimes the other girls seem to do not like you.

Maybe it’s as Steve focusses his attention on you, his sister, when you are around or that you do not drink until you pass out, but they always find a reason to make you feel unwelcome.

“You look pretty tonight, Y/N. I bet all the guys in this room, except for your brother, of course, will lose their heart to you.” Sam Wilson, Mr. Charming in flesh and blood takes your hand to lead you toward Clint and Wanda.

“There she is!” Wanda smirks, looking you all over before she gives you an approving hum. “You bought a pink one! Me too!” Wanda wears a pink top, white skinny jeans and matching pink heels. “We look like twins.”

“I must admit, Wanda is right.” Clint snickers as the redhead gives him a thumb up at his comment. “You look stunning, just like Miss Maximoff. I bet Bucky will finally make a move.” You like Clint, but sometimes his mouth is faster than his brain.

Just like right now. While he blurs out the words two of the girls who tried to get Steve’s and Bucky’s attention start to giggle before they run off.

“I don’t think so…” Grumbling you take the beer Sam offers, returning his soft smile. “I am not the kind of girl Bucky would ask out. We are friends, that’s all.”

“He calls you doll; Y/N. Bucky never called any other girl like that.” Natasha insists as she steps closer.

“Our shy guy is watching you since you entered the room. I can tell he does not want to hold hands or crap. His looks are full of hunger…”

“Don’t scare her, Nat. Let’s make sure he will dance with our fledgling.” Clint grins as he strides toward Steve to distract your brother long enough for Bucky to make a move.

“Go and get the guy. Just walk over there and ask him about his new bike. You know, he bought a new one last week. It’s black and he asked someone to give the bike a nice ‘tattoo’ in a week.” Wanda shoves you toward Bucky.

You want to talk to him, want to ask him about the bike, just like Wanda suggested but two girls flank his side and he seems to enjoy their company.

Before you can even say ‘hi’ to your brothers’ best friend one of the girl's eyes you up and down, snorting at your pink dress.

“What does Miss Piggy want here? Did Stevie invite everyone in town or is she a clown?” The girl snickers and you feel your heart drop.

You liked the dress, Wanda liked it too, but that girl looks at you as if you are wearing a clown suit.

“I guess Stevie wanted her to have fun,” Bucky smirks as you look down your body to find a reason why the girl laughed about you. “I guess she stole the dress from Miss Piggy to impress the boys.”

The words coming from the man you admire, even secretly are in love with feel like someone stabbed your heart, twisted the knife, and carved it out of your chest.

“Look at the little girl. I guess she’s about to cry…” The other girl coos and you turn on your heels before you storm out of the room to run upstairs.

Natasha and Wanda call your name, even run after you while Sam storms toward Bucky, followed by a very pissed Clint.

“Y/N, Sweetie…wait…” Natasha tries but you slam the door to your room shut. Locking your door, you sniffle silently as Natasha calls your name. “Open the door, Y/N. Come on. Tell us what happened…”

“Ask Bucky and his girls.” Turning toward your bed you open the zipper, shove the straps down your shoulders to let the dress pool around your ankles. 

“Y/N?” You can hear Steve’s voice from the other side of the door, but tonight you will not open the door for your brother either. “Cupcake, open the door or I’ll kick it open!”

“Stevie, go back to your party and have fun with your friends and those girls. I am just having a headache.” Changing into pajamas, fluffy socks, and your favorite slipper you sit onto your bed, wiping the tears away.

“I will break it, Y/N.” Steve rams his shoulder against your door and you get up, sighing.

“Why did you cry?” The moment you open the door, Steve, cups your cheek. “Baby sis?”

“It’s stupid, Stevie. I should have known better than to try to talk to your best friend while he’s surrounded by two chicks. I am Miss Piggy to them and Bucky. Just let me have some sleep and tomorrow I’ll go and have some fun.”

“I will rip him a new one! I swear he’ll not survive this party!” Steve’s voice booms through your room as he stands there to watch you curl into a ball onto your bed.

“Save it, Stevie. We both know that this was my fault. I had to buy this stupid dress and go to a party where I do not belong. They are your friends, not mine. I should stick to the men asking me out.” Steve covers you with your blanket, not knowing what to think about his friend’s behavior.

“Y/N, I’ll be back later. Sleep a bit.” Your brother presses a soft kiss to your temple before he leaves your room.

His hands balled into fists he storms down the staircases to beat his friend into a pulp.

“Wait! Stevie, you can’t do this…” Natasha and Wanda drag the girls bullying you out of Steve’s house. Natasha even fisted the girl’s hair to drag her out. 

“You were not invited. Out of my house and I dare you to get close to my house, my club or my sister, the girl you harassed, ever again. I know you like to be close to the big bad bikers, but do you know what happens to people hurting my sister?” Steve towers over the girls and they flinch when he steps closer.

“We didn’t know she’s your sister…Sir.” The girl calling you Miss Piggy whines.

“I don’t care if you did know shit! You came to my house, uninvited and harassed one of my guests. My sister or not, if you come to my house, you respect the people in there or you will pay for it. Get out of my sight before I forget my manners!” 

Wanda never saw Steve that mad before. Even she flinched when he made another step toward the girls.

“Let’s get back inside, the show is over.” Sam tries as the girls run away. “We should talk to Bucky. I want to know why he pulled that shit after you allowed him to go out with Y/N. I don’t get him…”

“Same, Sam. I told him he can ask her out and he has the guts to hurt my baby sis at my party, at my house.”

“I want to hear it coming from you Buck. I want to hear why you broke my vulnerable baby sis’s heart.” Arms crossed over his chest Steve glares at his friend as Bucky runs one hand down his face.

“I had to scare her off. You know that I am no good for your sister. We are the bad guys, bikers and my job is it to beat the shit out of people disrespecting you, the club and our members. All I know is how to drink, hit people and fuck a girl behind a bar.” 

“I knew this when I told you that Y/N is no longer off-limits to you. She is in love with you since she turned sixteen, Buck. My baby sis wants you, so she will get you. Now find a way to make it up to her and come back tomorrow.” Steve steps closer, jaw ticking, hands balled into fists he nods at Sam.

“Bucky, you should go now. Have a shower, wear clean clothes, and buy flowers for the girl. You better prepare a speech before you come to the inquisition.” Clint hums, watching Brock flirt with Natasha.

“Dude, hands off my girl!”

“I did not touch her, Barton. I got a nice girl right over there. Her ass is even nicer.” Snickering Carol gives her boyfriend a wink. “Where’s Peggy, Steve?”

“At her parent's place. She has to explain why a biker is the right guy for her – again by the way.” Sighing Steve falls onto a chair, running his fingers nervously through his hair. “I don’t know if she will stay with me.”

“You’re a catch, Steve. Now let us talk about how to kick Bucky’s ass for hurting our girl.” Clint’s eyes meet your brothers. “Kicking his balls? Scratching his new bike? Cutting his hair…or wait – he already did so as the colleague Y/N flirted with has short black hair…”

“Shut up, punk…” Bucky was silent the whole time but now he grits his teeth. “I did it to make sure she can find a nice guy…”

“And a nice guy she’ll find…” 

“Where are you going?” Watching you walk down the stairs, wearing a brand-new cerulean dress and a fake smile you stop in your tracks as your brother looks at you.

“I do what you told me to do. I will have more in my life than work and hiding in my room. Alexander Pierce junior asked me out weeks ago. I refused to go out with him but after last night…” 

Stiffing you give Steve a cracked smile. “Bucky is out of my league, I got that, so I’ll try to find a nice guy appreciating me and my Miss Piggy dress.” Pecking Steve’s cheek, you ignore Sam’s worried face, or the way your brother’s jaw ticks.

“You sure about that?”

“I can’t wait for the rest of my life for your best friend to fall in love with me. I thought, no believed, that Bucky is at least my friend, but I was wrong.” 

Steve cannot do anything but watch you walk out of the house. While you step out of your brother’s house, Bucky sprints toward the gate as you keep your eyes trained toward the car waiting for you.

“Doll…uh—hey.” Bucky tries, opening the door but you ignore his presence, his words, and the single rose in his hands.

“Mr. Barnes.” Your voice is cold, eyes not meeting his you pass him by without acknowledging him further.

Steve’s eyes follow you to the parked car, the one belonging to your date and he nods at Sam. Signalizing him and Clint to follow you to make sure your date behaves like a gentleman.

“She has a date…” Huffing Bucky looks at the single rose in his hands.

“Yeah, with Alexander Pierce junior, the world's biggest asshole. Follow that girl and get her.” Brock grunts, pointing toward Bucky’s brand-new bike. “We all know you want that guy to spray Y/N’s name on your bike.”

“Maybe that guy is the better choice, Brock. We are…” Fisting Bucky’s leather jacket Brock glares at his friend.

“Listen, Bucky. We had our conflicts in the beginning, but I hope you know we are friends. I would not let my girl go for anything in the world. Am I an ass? – yes! Did I do stupid and dangerous stuff? – yes! Would I let Alexander Pierce junior fuck my girl? – no fucking way!”

“Fuck her?” Pale Bucky swallows the lump in his throat. Panic rises in his chest and he nods at Steve. “I need the club…all of us. I will get my girl…”

“You heard my first lieutenant. Let’s ride…”

Dinner could be pleasant if your date would be more subtle while staring at other women’s ass or at least try to listen to what you have to say.

The whole time the man asking you five times to go out with him has nothing better to do than playing with his phone, telling you about his newest car and on top of all – he stares at your waitresses ass.

“That’s nice…” Poking the food he ordered with your fork (He didn’t even give you the chance to decide what you want to eat.) you try to remember why you agreed to go out with this awful man.

Outside the restaurant, Steve’s club parks their bikes. Steve smirks, as Bucky nervously straightens his clothes.

“I’ll go and get my girl now.” Bucky takes the roses from Natasha before he rushes toward the restaurant. He is nervously opening the door, but the moment his eyes land on you his back straightens, and he walks toward the table.

“Excuse us, but we are trying to have a conversation. We don’t need…” Your date glances up at an incredibly angry-looking biker and you can help yourself but giggle as his jaw goes slack and his fork drops onto the table.

“What do you want here?” Alexander juniors’ eyes widen as you bark at the biker right next to him. “I have a nice dinner right now. I don’t think Miss Piggy has time for an audience right now.”

“Doll, I tried to help you hate me. Stevie allowed me to ask you out for a date and I panicked. I believed someone with a regular job and a not so shitty past would be better for you.” Humming you place the fork next to the plate.

“Interesting. So, you believed that I would like to go out with a guy not giving a shit on me. With someone not even listening to what I have to say while he’s busy looking at every girl’s ass in the restaurant?” Your words make Bucky chuckle and he holds out his hand, but you get up without taking his hand.

“Y/N.” Ignoring Bucky you grab your purse, toss some money onto the table before you turn to leave. “Please, doll. Let me apologize for acting like a douche.”

“You’re an idiot, Barnes.” Bucky follows you outside, rushing to your side to walk with you. He tries to guide you toward his bike, but you walk toward your brother.

“Guys, Girls.” Nodding at Steve’s club you want to get on Steve’s bike, but he shakes his head. “Steve?”

“Cupcake, he’s your man now. Teach him a lesson but let him drive you home.” Your eyes narrow as Steve motions the club to start their engines. The whole club let their engine roar before they drive away.

“Doll…please…” Huffing you turn around to look at Bucky. “I am the first lieutenant of the Howling Commando. I’d like to drive you home and more…”

“More, Mr. Barnes?” Humming Bucky shows you the roses and you let your eyes drink him in. 

“I want to know why you cut your hair.”

“You flirted with that guy, admiring his new haircut. I thought you did not like my long hair and cut it. I wanted to get your attention, Y/N. Can I drive you home now, doll? Please?” 

“I need to be at home at …” Smirking you shrug. “I don’t know when. I mean, it depends if you want to feel my big brothers’ wrath.”

“We could go for a walk with my bike, Y/N. I mean…uh—doll. I’d like to spend some time with you.” 

“It’s 2 am, James Buchanan Barnes.“ Eyes narrowed, hands balled into fists your brother watches Bucky and you walk upstairs. “Did you hear me?”

“Yes, Stevie. You said I am her man now. The lady wanted to go for a ride with my bike, then she wanted some ice cream and now we are going to her room and watch her favorite movie. It’s called redemption.”

“Did you touch her?” Steve cocks his head, poking a finger into his friends’ chest. “I dare you to say yes…”

“I held her hand and helped her off my bike. I may or may not kissed her lips and touched her neck with my lips. I think I’d like to touch her some more, but we did not even reach the first base…” Bucky smirks while you tug at his jacket.

“I want to watch a movie.” Whining you look at Steve. “He won’t get any until he made everything up to me.”

“Fine. You can watch a movie with my sister. No touching. No kissing. No making-out.” 

“Yes, Sir.” Bucky follows you upstairs as Sam, Clint, and the others watch the both of you. “Our girl grew up so fast…” Sam sighs. 

“We need to make sure he uses condoms,” Clint adds while the girls dreamily watch Bucky grasp for your hand.

“I guess they will go at it like animals soon enough.” Brock snickers and Steve feels his stomach tighten.

“Fuck! I did forget they could have sex…”

Laughter fills the house and Steve can feel his heart race as you turn around to press your lips to his first lieutenant.

“Yeah, Steve. Sooner or later he will ruin your baby sis…” 

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Bucky Barnes/Sebastian Stan Tags

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