#this seems pretty real but if it’s fake pls lemme know

[squuote]

this is genuinely so fucking funny FUCK STANLEY

[quodekash]

OUR SKYY 2 IS HERE ITS FINALLY HERE THIS IS NOT A DRILL

first lemme make myself an ice tea and then we’ll get into the ridiculous commentary (which will probably be entirely keysmashes but anyway) 

fingers crossed for something benchopper 

also i find it rly interesting that the series i finished with when going through all the our skyy shows is the one that theyre start with 

also also idk anything about the order for our skyy but i do know that there’s no way bad buddy isnt the final one 

ICE TEA HAS NOW BEEN ACQUIRED, NOW WE SHALL COMMENCE THE COMMENTARY (that a lot of you seem to like, why do you like my commentary) 

literally shaking what the hell

STOP IM GONNA CRY, HE HAS HIM AS HIS LOCK SCREEN???? 

WE’RE LITERALLY LIKE TEN SECONDS IN AND IM ALREADY FILLED WITH TEARS 

IM SORRY, IT’S BEEN THREE FREAKING YEARS??? WHY WERE WE NOT AWARE OF THIS INFORMATION 

ok so judging from the intro, it’s nlmg first, and then simm, then THE ECLIPSE MY BOYS AAAAAA, AND THEN VICE VERSA, AND THEN MSP HEGUERIHBGKREJB, im literally vibrating with excitement rn help, and then abaab, AND THEN BAD BUDDY GERJHBGUKREJBKGURBJ, AND THEN 1000STARS 

ITS LITERALLY HAPPENING IN FRONT OF MY EYES RN AND I STILL CANT BELIEVE THIS IS REAL 

HOLY BAJOOLIES 

HE HAPPY

HE;S SO FREAKING EXCITED TO SEE HIM 

NO STOP IM GONNA CRY AGAIN 

palms hair is so freaking pretty what the hell 

i sense a sponsorship

palm is so happy to see him and he’s trying to be sweet but nueng is moody and i guess i get why but also pls just be happy to see him again 

okay they are happy now yayyy 

yup i was right theyre sponsored by suzuki thats kind of hilarious 

damn, two sponsorships within like ten minutes of each other, they really went all out 

CRYING AGAIN, THAT’S PERFECT 

well that guy was confusing. ‘you guys are soulmates and youre fate but also you cant be together but you will be but you wont’ 

HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT THEM, NUENG WAS ABOUT TO SAY HE’S DECIDED TO STAY IN BANGKOK AND FINISH HIS STUDIES THERE RATHER THAN OVERSEAS 

bRO HAS A SWORD?? I WANT A SWORD 

also like oh shoot they might be about to die 

but also just imagine walking around every day with a sword 

the power 

id never like actually hurt anyone with it and id probably rarely take it out of the sheath 

but seriously. sword. its so cool. 

not cool that theyre probably about to hurt nuengpalm and probably that poor woman 

holding hands and running for their lives, absolutely nothing new here 

heh i paused it at a funny moment 

he’s such a good bodyguard/protector/boyfriend/whatever ghrjgbhr 

ill show you what happens to heroes. they wake up in historical clothing. 

why are the roles suddenly reversed 

and why is palm the only one with knowledge of the present time and the only one without a clue about whats going on in this au  version of events 

DAM OKAY THAT WAS QUICK 

see, at first i was pretty sure he was faking it cos it didnt make sense that only palm was aware of the present, surely it would be both of them, but then he confused me, but its fine cos he remembers him YAY 

IM SORRY, LITERALLY ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THAT ONE TIME IN BBC MERLIN WHERE MERLIN GAVE ARTHUR AN ORDER 

ALSO PALM IS LITERALLY JUST DOING WHAT NUENG DID AND ITS SO FUNNY 

wait this entire thing is a complete repeat of the series just switched and historical

their first major interaction was being introduced via parent sending child to work for the other child 

their second major interaction was at the pool, and in this version its by the lake 

their third major interaction is the master making the servant eat with them because ‘theres too much food for me to eat by myself’ when really its just bc he wants to spend time with him 

wait please let chopper and ben be in this historical version of life 

phum is there 

surely its plausible to think that benchopper could be there too 

i freaking love these two 

IM SORRY????? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT 

NOOOOOO I WAS WRONGGGG

NOOOO CONFLICT 

its okay tho theyll iron out the conflict, its fine 

see, they figured out the conflict 

well that was wonderful but it is now 1am so i need to go to sleep 

goodnight folks! im gonna spend the next 24 hours Thinking About Them 

[kkoongiee]

txt reactions — when you joke about marriage ‹𝟹

prompt, Now i can ask ! :3 Yesterday when i wanted, the ask thing wasn't there but now my request owo: Could you do a TxT Reaction when their s/o ask them to marry them as an joke with a kids ring :D ? I hope this isn't so complicated ~ Have a nice day or Night

## fluff % gn!reader % wc: 558 [ cursing, alcohol, skinship, kissing ]

yeonjun was so taken aback when ur like, ‘so do u want to get married?’ and ur holding out this plastic ring, he will roll his eyes and pull the ring up to his pinky and show it off to u. jun will slip it onto your ring finger and give it a lil kiss before resting ur hand down. lord would he take u to vegas or something to get married but he is waaayy too young and u are waayyyy too young too!! yeonjun is tellin u .. ‘hmm give me a few years, a fewww years and yes.’ MERP 🥺🥺 u just give him a big hug like WOW he wants to marry me??? lil old ME??? 🥺🤲🏽 why yes yeonjun does want to, very much so

soobin doesn’t know what to think,, this ringpop ur holding up as if its a real ring, he’s like ‘ur joking lol, stfu!!’ soobin is a little shit to u about it .. he is not thinking abt marriage anytime soon so he doesn’t rly comment anything more on it because bin does have a career & he is still young .. but if u wanted to get married .. he is not opposed to it, lmfaoo he won’t admit that to u but yes merp ah ha ha imagine soobin literally window shopping sum engagement rings 🧍 lemme stop real quick i’m gonna combust bc soobin wants the prettiest ring ever for u lmfaooo idc he seems like that

beomgyu doesn’t know how to act .. u kinda just made his head get big because ur holding up this plastic sparkly ring and asking for his hand in marriage???? 🧍 hehe he likes it, he’ll put it on & wear it as a joke .. but gyu deadass wants a ring like that tho ..? don’t be surprised though if gyu ends up buying himself a ring to wear because he likes to wear them now!! merp he looooves the thought of getting married to u 😭 but he is young just like the others so not quite yet!! but beomgyu is kinda set on getting married in a few years .. he do be ready for a disney movie relationship

taehyun seems like he’d be chill and say, ‘okay!’ lmfao idk why but he just seems like with u that he’s very calm and he’s not actually serious but he’d give u that answer 😭 hear me out, he will eat that ringpop tfk up 🏃‍♂️ LMFAOAO taehyun is like,, ‘ayo?? give me a few more and i’ll marry u fr’ .. he’s having plenty of fun with joking about this .. so taehyun does have a few pages open with engagement rings,, not like he’s gonna buy them but they are pretty .. almost as pretty as that cherry ringpop you brought him!! taehyun might just have to get married with one of them they r good af

u almost give huening kai a heart attack,, PLS NEVER EVER AGAIN 😭 he’s relieved it’s just a fake ring because he might take the next flight out?? jkjk he loves u and definitely wouldn’t leave u,, but he is not ready for that type of commitment + neither are u so 🧍 matchmade in heaven?? hyuka is like ‘good joke but no 🥲’ FSSFDFSDS bye but he do be liking that ring 🤲🏽 the ring is very cute, he’ll give u a lil kiss and a thank uuuu, he likes gifts ^_^ he is so happy hehe and that joke does make him happy!! but yes he is happy with the relationship and huening kai wouldn’t like it any other way rn

[coffehbeans]

51. Landing

Thanks for asking! It’s my first completed oneshot here, so I’m excited. English is not my first language, so there might be some grammar and vocabulary mistakes, so pls lemme know if smth sounds confusing.

Hope you all like it!

(I didn’t expect to research about agriculture for this story aushausha)

51.Landing

The sky turned yellow as the afternoon approached its end, the sunbeams shining the humble cottage on the farm. Alicia calmly finished washing the dishes, trying to dry them as fast as possible so she could plow the terrain outside before night came. Her grandmother and only company, sat at the armchair half-asleep, barely listening to the rather alarmed tone of the news anchor on the television.

-The United World Nations at the moment gathered all military force to eliminate the new attack by yet another extraterrestrial spaceship.

Oh, that’s right, Alicia thought as she listened to the news, the global powers are fighting once again to save the Earth from yet another alien force. The attacks were getting frequent now, she noticed. Not that it gave her even an ounce of concern, since Earth has quite the amount of technology to defeat the hostile species, and thanks to the giant robots that were built, a large and indestructible army could battle in the sky, far away from any defenseless human.

It’s not as if any alien invasion would soon happen where Alicia lived, anyway. Her home was in a rural area far away from any people agglomeration, and the only town close to the farm is small and barely populated. Nothing really interesting for an extraterrestrial being.  

Besides all that, since her grandmother was already of old age and walked with difficulty, Alicia had to take care of most of the farm’s plantations, living pretty busy to worry about any spaceship’s attempt to destroy the Earth.

It was a dull life, she knew that, but a peaceful one. She felt grateful for its tranquility.

Although, as Alicia picked her hoe to head outside, she peered at her pile of Engineering and Physics books and sighed. Indeed, she longed to know more about Earth’s defense robots, the subject that caught so much of her interest. How they worked, how they were built, or even if she would be able to design one.  

But that did not matter now. Alicia felt comfortable living a calm life in such a chaotic world situation, and that was all that mattered.

-As of now, the new mecha models, AS-31, are being used for the first time in this attack. Due to the governments’ assurance of its new potential and ability, the entire world population is laying all their hopes on these promising machines.

Now that piqued Alicia’s interest. ‘I wonder how these new models are’, she thought. However, she only quickly glanced at the footage of the new type of robot as she held onto the doorknob and readied herself to go outside before the sunset.

-I’m going to clear off the field now! -she warned her grandmother as the latter jostled awake.

-Alright. -she said to Alicia. -Just make sure to return before dark!

-I will!

And she was off.

Scratching the dirt soil, over and over again, time passed by quite quickly as Alicia’s mind went blank and concentrated on her work, forgetting all about the deal with robots, or crazy space invasions. Yeah, she thought. Her life didn’t match the current world situation at all. She was ok with that. Things were peaceful as they should be. Thus, she continued looking down, plowing the entire plantation and all the terrain of crops that still had to grow.

Until she heard a whirring sound, as if from a motor. ‘A plane?’ She thought and looked up.

Indeed, there was a black dot on the yellowed sky above, but she couldn’t identify if it was a plane, jet or missile. Those are very common to pass by one day or another.

But before Alicia could decide to look down, the black dot became bigger, its silhouette turning more defined, to reveal a, helmet? Connected to some sort of body that was sharp around the edges. Its form resembled a person, but colored in silver black and made of metal. Fire and smoke left its shoes and back as the thrusters flicked on and off. Alicia widened her eyes in realization.

That was a mecha.

She let the hoe fall down as the robot grew larger and larger, apparently coming closer to her, lowering towards her direction.

It was falling.

Her stomach sank.  

-Grandma!!! - she turned her head towards her house and shouted from the top of her lungs, heart accelerating.  

-Grandma!! Grandma!!

Her grandmother opened the door in confusion, oblivious to the giant robot that threatened to fall above them. The whirring sound got louder.

-What happened?

-Get out, get out!! There’s a giant robot falling down here!!

-What?!

Alicia’s grandmother slowly got out of the house, walking towards her as Alicia ran and ran to help her while also looking up from time to time. She could make out some details of the machine now, the words “AS-31” marked on its chest. Her stomach dropped. ‘It seems to be over 100 feet tall.’  

She reached her grandmother and intertwined her arm with hers, helping her to walk as both started to pace quicker and get as far away as possible from the falling steel giant.

-What’s going on?! - grandma’s voice cracked.

-It’s a mecha! The new version one! It’s falling down here! Hurry!!

And they hushed past the house, past the barn next to it and the farm terrain, as the buzzing grew louder and the mecha lowered closer and closer to the ground in free fall, until-

Suddenly from its hands and feet, although flickering, some sort of fire thrusters emerged, slowing its fall and making it soar right above the duo as everything came to slow motion.  

And it landed with a thunderous sound that convulsed the entire earth and toppled both Alicia and her grandma to the ground, an earsplitting noise ringing in their ears as dust spread everywhere. Alicia sat up with quickened breaths, immediately turning towards her grandma to help her up.

-Grandma! Are you okay?

-Yeah, yeah, I am, don’t worry ’bout it. - she dismissed as she took her hands out of her ears and got up with Alicia’s help without much trouble. -What on earth was that?!

-I, I think that a giant robot fell down on Earth from that battle the news reporter mentioned. - Alicia said in between breaths, trying to inhale more air to calm herself down, which proved to be a failure as powder filled her nostrils.

-Sheesh. - her grandma reacted without as much of a worry. -why right here, at our house?! Hope it didn’t destroy anything.

-Wait a bit, grandma, I’ll check it out. - Alicia said as she swiftly rushed towards the fallen robot. She could only see the top of its laid down body now, since the dust blocked the rest of the view.

-You be careful, Ali! It might blow up.

-Don’t worry, I’ll check it out real quick.  

At that, she ran.

-Don’t get near that thing! - she could hear her grandmother saying. But her mind wasn’t processing any imminent danger. Despite Alicia’s heart hammering through her chest, or the dirt particles filling up her nostrils and making her eyes water, she went towards the mecha to scan the possible damage it might have caused.

But it didn’t, Alicia realized as her mouth dropped.

It went over the crops, the house, and the barn and fell a few feet after it, not damaging any plantation, despite forming somewhat of a crater at the spot it landed on. Aside from the fact part of the cottage’s walls have fallen down, nothing else was damaged. She let out a breath in relief.

The giant robot laid perfectly still, its head facing to the side, while smoke faded out from its feet and hands. She gasped at its sheer size, noticing how her height wasn’t even the length of its longest finger.

Letting herself be allured by curiosity, Alicia strode forward, until she was a few centimeters close to the thick glass visor of its helmet.  

She widened her eyes and gasped in awe, mouth agape. It looked fascinating. Urging to look around, Alicia climbed its head to see if it had a monitor, or a panel, anything she could dismount and analyze later. But nothing. She climbed down and furrowed her brows. Now that was weird. Wasn’t the head supposed to have some sort of engine somewhere? It is where most of the mechanical functions come from after all. But the way the helmet was built didn’t give space to any compartment that allowed a quick check on its AI behavior. Wouldn’t that be dangerous?

But before Alicia could walk around and check the other parts of the robot, she noticed a small, rectangular-shaped button in the corner of the glass pane of the helmet. Without a second thought and taken by her eagerness, she pressed it.

And the glass pane suddenly disappeared, leaving the face part of the helmet completely open.

And revealing a giant human-looking face, with its eyes closed, mouth firmly shut and brown-colored bangs slightly covering part of its cheek.

Alicia sucked in a breath.

-Wh, what? -  was all she could pronounce as she wheezed, aghast.

-Is, is this some sort of fake skin to cover a metal skeleton? - said her wobbly voice as her mind tried to process what was in front of her. There was absolutely no way that was a living being. Right?

With trembling hands, she caressed the skinned surface. It was soft, as if truly was human skin. ‘As if it’s a real human in massive size.’ Her heartbeat quickened. Taking a deep breath, Alicia attempted to rationalize it all in her head and calm herself down once again. ‘It’s okay. It must be a way to personalize the robot so the body is not only metal. Yeah, that’s all there is to it. Just a fake human-like face. A realistic human-like face’.

But the gigantic hand abruptly twitched, tensing her up.

Her stomach sank and she held her breath, blood pulsing through her veins, goosebumps taking over her skin as Alicia felt a slight breeze fluttering her face, coming out of its nose. As if it was breathing.

-N-no way, it can’t be. -she stuttered.

-T-this can’t be real, can it?

But while Alicia was still speaking, its huge eyes shot open, revealing grey orbs around the size of her head that reflected her trembling and astonished form.

And that instantly looked back at her.

[spookysruca]

117 and 210 from the list? already in love w ur writing boo

ty nena! pls enjoy

117. “Be my fake boyfriend/girlfriend/partner!”210. “Was I too rough?”

“I need you to be my fake boyfriend,” you say, and Oscar gives youa look that maybe gets you a little hot.

“Fake boyfriend, eh?” he says, “What happened to me being some desgraciado you don’t wanna see no more?”

“Maybe you were right about Ricky having the hots for me,” you say, gritting your teeth and slouching closer to him. Ricky’s a few aisles away, and the last thing you wanted today was to run into either him or your ex, let alone both at the same time. You hate living in a food desert. Who goes grocery shopping at eight on a Tuesday, anyway?

You haven’t seen Oscar since you broke up a few weeks ago. You did most of the breaking up, him saying that if you were going to be acting this way he didn’t want to see you, either, and then you had angry breakup sex and went on your way. You’re a little hurt he seems fine.

Then he says, “I’m always right,” and you remember why you broke up in the first place.

“Hijo de tu—” you take a deep breath. Say, “He’s asked me out three times since…in the last month.”

“Since you been single,” Oscar says, flat, and there’s a spark of something familiar in his eye. Something possessive. You kind of like the look on him, all those Chicana Feminist Theory courses be damned.

“Maybe,” you say, and square your shoulders. If he doesn’t want to help you out with this creep, fine. It’s not his job to worry about you anymore. You have to admit, you being Spooky’s girl used to keep most dudes from being nasty to your face. It kills you to know that Oscar was right about Ricky, but if you have to deal with it alone then you’ll deal.

Oscar leans back. Looks you up again, mouth pursed like he’s holding back a smirk. “What do I get out of it?”

“If I let you kick his ass will we be even?”

He laughs. “Nena, I could kick his ass without your permission.”

But it would actually cheer me up this time, you want to tell him, but it’s not his job to make you happy anymore, either. You shrug. Say, “Do me a favor, then, Oscar. One last time.”

He raises an eyebrow. “One last time? Sounds familiar.”

Your face goes hot. You said that a few weeks ago, too.

“Alright,” he says, grinning now, “one last time, like you said. What am I supposed to do for you, eh? Go scare him?”

You stick your hand out. He looks at it for a second, then laughs a little. Your palms still fit together just right, though, and he laces your fingers—overkill, frankly, but maybe you feel butterflies anyway.

“Good?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

You can’t say when Ricky catches sight of you, but at some point while arguing with Oscar about vanilla extract—not the first time, hopefully the last—you notice him watching you a little too closely for comfort. It must show on your face, because Oscar drops the argument for once and tugs you closer, letting go of your hand to rest a hand on your lower back, warm through your t-shirt.

“Still good?” he says, voice low, and you nod.

“Yeah,” you say, and steal the basket from him while he’s distracted. “Just get the knock-off shit, Oscar, it’s not that serious.”

Of course, Ricky’s standing a little bit too close in line for you to pay for your own shit. Not that Oscar would let you otherwise.

“Just ring it up first,” you mutter, “tengo cash, I’ll pay you back.”

“It’s cool,” he says, completely ignoring you and ringing everything up together. You stare at him. “Keep making that face, nena.”

“You’re annoying,” you say.

“Still your man, though, right?” he asks, a little bit louder than he needs to be.

Asshole. “Yeah,” you say, knowing that when he looks behind you it’s because he’s trying to make eye contact with Ricky. Quieter, you say, “Did I say to start a fight?”

“You said I could kick his ass.”

“Whatchu gonna do if they ban you from here? It’s the nearest frutería, güey.”

“Watch your mouth,” he says, and wags his finger at you like a tía. You laugh despite yourself, not even having to think about it when you reach for his hand.

You walk him to his car, where you proceed to argue about how you’re getting home.

“How you gonna bus with groceries?” he says, “Just let me drop you off.”

“You already did me a favor,” you tell him, “it ain’t that much stuff.”

“And if your new man Ricky sees?”

“He’s not my man, ew.”

“Pues,” Oscar says, nodding behind you. You almost turn to look. “He looks a little bit like he thinks he is.”

“Fuck,” you mutter, “is he coming this way?”

“Can’t tell.”

“Ugh,” you twist a little closer to Oscar, nearly tucked under his arm as he finishes putting the groceries in his trunk. Maybe you didn’t put up as much a fight as you should have. “I’m pretty sure the only other car over here belongs to Mr. Rivera.”

“Yup,” Oscar says, and shuts the trunk. “Whatchu want me to do?”

You bite your lip. You’re standing too close to him, honestly. Can feel his body heat against your side. “Kiss me?”

He blinks at you. Says, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you say, and meet him halfway, almost, up on your toes like always.

It kills you to admit that you do miss Oscar. He kisses like he means it every time, stupid goatee scraping your chin. Mouth soft, tongue against yours. You sigh into it, forget why you were kissing in the first place. He runs his fingers through your hair with one hand, the other clutching at your hip, and you wonder whether this is really such a bad idea. When he pulls away you’re disappointed.

“He’s still there.”

“Um,” you say. “Is he just. Is he just watching?”

Oscar kisses you again, teeth against your lower lip. Your knees nearly give out. “Wanna see how long it’ll take him to leave?”

“Hm,” you say, Oscar pulling you flush against him. “Oscar…”

“Yes or no?”

Fuck it. “Yes,” you say, and kiss him again, moaning when he grabs your ass. You pause long enough to get in the backseat, and maybe glance out the window to see if Ricky is still lingering in the lot. He is. You’re not sure how you feel about it, but you know you like how Oscar’s biting at your collarbone, even if he’s stretching out the neck of your shirt.

“Lemme take this off.”

“We’re in public!”

“It’s almost nine,” he says, and you lift your arms for him so he can tug your shirt off, “no one’s here but us.”

“And Ricky.”

He bares his teeth. “I can go kick his ass real quick.”

You don’t want him to leave—tug him back down instead, get his shirt off, too, so you can feel him up while he kisses down your chest.

“Nena,” he say against your sternum, “what we doing?”

“No tienes condón?” you ask, and moan again when he bites.

“I like how you think,” he says, like he wasn’t saying the opposite not too long ago, and then the two you get your shorts and underwear off. You really hope Ricky left already. Oscar presses his thumb to your clit, rubs just a little. He’s holding himself above you, a little bit, and you move up to your elbows to kiss him, pinching at your nipples with one hand while guiding his lower with the other.

“Inside me,” you mumble against his mouth, inhaling sharply when he listens. You move to unzip his shorts and he pushes your hand away, gentle but insistent. “What,” you say, barely a breath, but he kisses you again and you get distracted.

He does the same shit when you try to reach down and touch yourself, and you pull back with a huff.

“What?”

He laughs a little. Says, “Let me,” and strokes himself, once, twice, before putting on the condom and pressing up against you. Not into, just—there. Rubbing. Teasing.

“Oscar,” you say. A warning that doesn’t mean much, with how breathless you are.

“Yeah, babe?”

“You’re annoying,” you say, flat, and this time, when you try to touch yourself, he takes both wrists in one hand and pins them against the door. You feel your breath catch, your thighs clench. When he grins it’s the slightest bit predatory, and you are way, way too into it.

“You like that?”

“Don’t start what you can’t finish,” you snap, and that possessive glint comes back.

“Trust me, nena,” he says, still stupidly put-together, even as he pushes into you in one smooth thrust that has you crying out, “I always do.”

Oscar’s no slouch. But this? This has to be him proving something to you. Maybe payback for breaking up in the first place. All you know is that the pace is incredible, the snap of his hips matching your moans. You’re so wet you can hear it, Oscar’s half-mumbled fuck, and yeah, and you like that? just another part of him you missed. This is a good reminder though—how good he feels inside you, or all around you, still rubbing at your clit while you squirm.

You keep inching up the seat, just a little. You say, “Oscar,” and he slows down.

“You good?”

“Mhm,” you say, pushing yourself closer to him, trying to keep your head from hitting the door, “keep going.”

He grins. Dimple showing. It’s almost endearing, but then he starts fucking you earnestly again, and you’re back to being too loud in too public of a place. You feel so out of it, so caught off guard—whether from having him again for the first time in weeks or for jumping into the back seat with him so quickly. Feels like the whole car’s rocking. You love it.

“Baby,” you moan, close to the edge, Oscar still pumping into you like he’s got a prize to win, “please, I—you’re so—fuck, you feel good, please—”

“You like that?” he says again, hits that spot inside that has your toes curling, hits it on the second, third, fourth thrust and your eyes screw shut on instinct. You can only feel blinding pleasure for a long moment, fingers clenched around nothing. Oscar says, “Fuck,” and when you open your eyes again he goes still over you, bites his lip as he comes, grinding his hips against yours, so oversensitive it almost feels good.

For a long moment you just breathe together, and then he pulls out. You feel empty. You look at your wrists—don’t see bruises, nothing, not that the lighting’s too good. A little sore, maybe.

Oscar catches you. Says, almost worried-sounding, “Was I too rough?”

“Nah,” you say, because he wasn’t. You ache in a good way, like you do after a workout, voice hoarse to match, “He didn’t watch, did he?”

Oscar blinks. Looks out the window. He says, “Ain’t nobody out there.”

“Oh, good,” you say, and let your head hit the seat again. You try to summon shame; fucking your ex in his car at the grocery store is not your best moment. Say, trying to front, “You really got me fucking in a parking lot again, huh.”

“You telling me you didn’t have a good time?” he asks.

“Shut up and drive me home,” you say, not making a move to put your clothes back on, “my groceries are still in the trunk.”

If anyone asks, you do not yell when Oscar drops your underwear on your face.

[fmjoanna]

hola , mamakeishas ! 😍 i’m claire, and we love a good repurposing of intro posts. no but seriously, i’m really excited that this is finally open. i’m also really excited to meet all of your muses & write with youuuu. so without further ado, lemme introduce you to jo. aka my stupid, stubborn child who i love so much.  like this & i’ll swoop into your dms for some plots. 👉👈

☆ . · . cindy kimberly, twenty-one, cisfemale, she/her . · . ☆ JOANNA “JO” VASQUEZ lives in that huge mansion over there! no, not that one. look for PERFECTLY TRIMMED HEDGES and that’ll be it. the ACTRESS has offered occasional glimpses of MAROON walls and an impressive collection of WINE in the background of social media posts, but all of that is nothing compared to seeing the opulence in person. they’ve remained DILIGENT as ever since moving to tercet court FOUR MONTHS AGO, but it seems like they might’ve gotten a little more RESERVED too. maybe that’s why they’re rumored to have such a CAUTIOUS relationship with everyone else who lives on this street.

* BACKSTORY .

tw. mentions of drugs & death.

from  the  beginning  ,  it  was  never  jo’s  dream  to  be  famous.  while  most  girls  were  at  home  playing  with  toys,  jo  was  getting  prepped  for  auditions  by  her  parents.  they  had  ambitions   ————  to  get  filthy  stinkin’  rich  off  the  back  of  their  daughter,  and  for  the  most  part,  it  worked.

jo  landed  a  major  role  in  a  disney  show  (  think  like  hannah  montanna  or  wizards  of  waverly  place,  that  kinda  cultural  impact  ),  and  quickly,  she  became  one  of  america’s  sweethearts.  that  was  a  lot  for  one  kid  to  handle, with  all  the  filming,  press,  etc.  her  parents,  of  course,  ate  up  the  attention  and  capitalized  off  it  fairly  quickly.  brand  deals,  interviews,  anything  you  could  find  a  child  star  on  at  that  time.  it  pretty  quickly  became  overwhelming,  but  she  was  definitely  raking  in  the  dough.  that  meant  she  was  to  continue,  no  matter  how  tired  of  it  she  was.

which  is  where  her  perfectionism  comes  in  to  play,  she  had  a  lot  of  people  relying  on  her  ————  her  parents,  who  she  loved  regardless  of  the  stress  they  put  her  through,  director,  costars,  company,  etc.  jo  was  definitely  a  natural  when  it  came  to  acting.  she  knew  how  deliver  line  after  line,  emote,  and  successfully  pull  off   a  comedic  moment.  on  screen,  she  played  a  charismatic,  social butterfly,  which  was  the  exact  opposite  of  who  she  really was,  a  quiet,  nervous  girl  who  valued  her  privacy  and  just  wanted  to  live  a  normal  life.

which  began  to  take  it’s  toll  on  her.  the  older  the  she  became,  the  less  she  liked  being  seen  as  the  sweet  girl  next  door,  so  she  completely  had  a  breaking  out  of  that  mold  phase ( ala  like  miley  cyrus  or  britney  spears )  around  the  time  her  disney  show  came  to  an  end.  much  to  her  parents  dismay,  she  became  known  more  for  her  off-screen  antics  than  her  onscreen  one  &  definitely  kept  the  paparazzi’s  pockets  fat.  “jo  vasquez  spotted  (fill  in  the  blank  with  something  controversial)”  filled  the  pages  of  magazines  for  a  lot  of  her  17-18  years,  and  she  went  from  america’s  sweetheart  to  probably  one  of  america’s  most  hated lol.  it  had  a  negative  impact  on  her  career  as  well,  which  she  was  happy  about  for  awhile.  that  is,  until  she  realized  that  most  of the  money  she  made  as  a  child  was  collected  by  her  parents  &  not  her.

with  no  money  coming  in  &  the  relationship  with  her  parents  souring,  she  left  home  &  avoided  the  spotlight  for  around  three  years.  probably  lost  contact  with  a  lot  of  people  then  too.  she  thought  a  nice,  quiet  time  by  herself  &  without  paparazzi  following  her  24/7  would  be  healthy.  

&  it  was.  jo  used  the  last  bit  of  her  childhood  savings  to  fund  her  time  away,  but  with  money  tight ,  she  was  a  bit  unsure  of  what  was  left  to  do.  that’s  where  her  great  aunt  came  in.  her  great  aunt  had  gotten  rich  of  her  stocks  in  a  successful  makeup  line  when  she  was  in  her  late  30′s  ( something  that  joanna’s  parents  were  super  jealous  of ).  with  that  kind  of  money,  she  was  able  to  move  to  the  hills  and  purchase  a  beautiful  home.  joanna  had  met  her  only  once  or  twice,  but  there  was  definite  tension  between  her  parents  and  her  aunt.  the  only  thing  she  really knew  about  her  was  that  she  was  wealthy  and  lived  alone,  no  kids  or  significant  other. 

unexpectedly,  her  great  aunt  passed  away,  news  that  didn’t  reach  jo  until  she  got  a  letter  from  her  aunt’s  lawyer,  saying  that  since  her  great  aunt  didn’t  have  kids  &  didn’t  want  to  leave  her  belongings  to  her  niece  (  jo’s  mother  ),  she  had  left  everything  to  jo.  it  completely  caught  her  off  guard,  and  she  considers  herself  pretty  lucky.  

she  knew  that  she  couldn’t  stay  in  the  hills  forever  without  some  income,  and  because  she  feels  like  acting  is  what  she’s  best  at,  she  decided  to  contact  her  old  manager,  and  together,  they  came  up  with  a  plan  to  revive  her  career.

sooooo ,  now  she’s  back  in  los  angeles.  media  has  def  heard  of  her  return  (  apart  of  her  manager’s  plan  )  &  there’s  been  a  small  amount  of  buzz  around  it.  she’s  more  of  a  former  a-list,  so  she’s  really  not  that  in  demand.  however,  she  did  manage  to  land  a  supporting  role  in  a  major  blockbuster  (   something  like  a  marvel  movie  probs  )  so  she’s  hoping  that’ll  change  fairly  soon.

* PERSONALITY .

probably  fake  lol.  let’s  just  be  honest.  kinda  hates  the  celebrity  lifestyle  &  is  cautious  when  it  comes  to  other people  in  the  industry  so  yeah,  she’s  the  type  to  smile  in  your  face  and  then  glare  when  your  backs  turned.  she  knows  how  important  connections  are  in  this  business  &  word  travels  fast  so  she’s  probably  not  “real”  except  with  the  people  she’s  closest  to.  also  the  type  to  be  like  “OMG ofc  i  know  what  that  is. 😍  it’s  my  fave”  but  then  have  absolutely  no  clue  what  the  fuck  it  is  lmaoo  a  tragedy

she’s  a  hard  worker  &  def  a  perfectionist.  everything  has  to  be  perfect,  and  she’ll  do  as  much  as  she  can  to  get  it  right.  it’s  probs  the  reason  she  stuck  with  acting  b/c  the  trial  and  error  of  learning  something  new  would  be  way  too  much  for  her  lol.

but  also  enjoys  time  out  a  lil  too  much  prolly.  is  a  regular  to  night  life  &  partying  (  more  under  wraps  now  than  back  in  the  day  )  &  will  out  drink  just  about  anyone  you  know.  it  makes  her  a  bit  more  brave  &  she  believes   ppl  bare  their  souls  when  they’re  inebriated  so  it’s  easier  to  get  to  know  ppl.  what  a  weirdo.  also  partakes  in  her  fair  share  of  prolly  just  weed.  no  hard  drugs  tbh  she’s  not  the  one

your  average  gal  just  looking  to  have  fun ,  but  could  def  potentially  catch  feelings  that  she  would  deny  til  she  can’t  anymore  or  until  it’s  too late. 🤪  lowkey  wants  someone  to  just  sweep  her  off  her  feet,  but  she’s  blind  to  the  reality  that  she  always  be  making  things  complicated.

behind  the  facade,  she’s  a  bit  stubborn.  probably  also  a  side  effect  of  being  a  perfectionist  &  also  her  need  for  control  ( since  she  lacked  that  when  she  was  young )  so  be  prepared  for  that

* WANTED CONNECTIONS .

ok  but  plots  really  do  be  making  my  world  go  ‘round. 😳 i  love  em,  so  literally  hmu  with  anything  you’re  feeling,  and  i’ll  be  down.  just  wanna  plot  &  write  with  everyone 💕  but  here’s  a  couple  of  wanted  connections  for  y’all.  i’ll prolly  have  a  most  wanted  tag  sooner  or  later  &  i’ma  be  make  a  plot  page  soon.  

best  friend  /  friend  group:  there’s  no  way  jo  could  function  without  friends,  so  pls  give  her  some  good  ass  platonic  tingz.  these  are  the  people  she  can  be  herself  around,  so  she  holds  them  really  dear.

people  from  the  past:  someone  she  knew  from  the  past.  could  be  friends,  enemies,  lovers,  costars,  etc.  she  didn’t  really  let  that  many  people  know  that  she  was  leaving  so  now  that  she’s  back  it  could  be  like  👀  dramatic.

unrequited love / crush:  these  are  fun.  joanna  doesn’t  really  know  how  to  handle  her  romantic  feelings  so  it’d  probably  be  her  getting  the  cold  shoulder .

hookups / fwb:  past,  present,  future.  fwb  would  probs  get  messy.  maybe  she  caught  feelings  or  sumn.

former  friends:  something  happened  &  they’re  no  longer  friends.  we  can  plot  it  all  out . :^)

childhood  friends  to  lovers  to  exes  that  ended  on  bad  terms:  saw  this  on  a  plot  masterlist  &  it  sounds  fun  so  i  thought  i’d  put  it  here lol.

literally anything  your  heart  desires: a  lot  could  work.  we  could  even  just  start  from  nowhere  &  have  them  meet  for  the  first  time  b/c  jo’s  only  been  back  for  a  couple  of  months.

[centhands]

Truth or Dare - Noah Centineo Smut

AN: OK YA’LL, SO I haven’t written a fic or one shot in about, oh god I don’t know, SEVEN FUCKING YEARS?!?!?!?!? I was all about hazza back in the day but tbh there is some SERIOUS DIRE NEED for NOAH FUCKING CENTINEO SMUT on here and I cannot believe I wrote one?? Just spent the last 3 hours on it, instead of sleeping. It might be bad but idk it’s at least ONE MORE NOAH SMUT SHOT?? Idk :///// lemme know what you think!! It’s super long pls bear with me I TEND TO ALWAYS WRITE NOVELS OH GEE LOOK AT THIS LONG AF AN!!

TLDR: you’re about to play truth or dare (kind of?????) with Noah fucking Centineo. PLEASE SIT DOWN BC FILTHY SMUT IS ON THE WAY!!!!
Hope you enjoy, let me know if you do!! (Pls message me I need friends and followers on tik tok, jk, only jking about tik tok, I really need friends

…………………………………………………………………….

You gazed at the clock once again, for the what was actually the thousandth time that night. 11:00PM on the dot. To make matters worse, it was a Friday. Not only could you not fall asleep for shit, but the daunting thought of being home alone on a Friday night, only made your insomnia worse.

You sighed as you rolled out of bed and walked lazily to your living room. As you plopped down on your couch, you decided to open up Instagram. While scrolling through your feed, you happened to notice you had a message notification. You clicked on it and instantly a smile lit up your face. A photo of your best friend, and roommate, Noah, with a sad, puppy dog face and a pair of nerdy 3D glasses. The simple message is what really did you in. “Wish you were here. Xo.”

You and Noah had been best friends for the last five years and have been living together for two. You’ve loved him since you met him. His gorgeous eyes, his toned body, his adorable, dorky smile, his hearty laugh. It all made you melt.

You were completely in love with him and he had no fucking clue.

It was absolutely frustrating, to be quite honest. At times, you get so fed up that you just want to pack up, leave, and go start over somewhere else, hoping you’ll forget all about Noah Centineo. Forget all the times he hugged you tightly and wiped your tears away as you cried. Forget all the movie and dinner dates you had gone on, one of the best parts being your spitball fights. Forget all those times he’d tell you he could never sleep, and he’d ask you to just lay with him until he dozed off, saying he just needed a quick cuddle before bed. Forget all of the little, most adorable, seemingly insignificant (but actually meant the whole world to you) moments you both had shared together.
But you knew there was no way that could or would ever happen. You were absolutely smitten.

You noticed he had sent that message over two hours ago. His guy friends had declared it their “Boys Night Out” and decided to go see a thriller 3D film. He looked so cute in those glasses..

You felt your phone buzz and noticed Noah had just texted you.

“Hey, you up? Be home in five. Let’s hangoutttttttttttt! :) Movie sucked. Should have just stayed home with you and watched Clueless for the 18th time. That bad.” He wrote.

You scoffed and instantly replied, “How dare you insult Clueless. Not sure if I can hangout with assholes who insult classic chick flicks.”

“I’ll have you know I’m well versed in chick flick classics. If you can honestly call that a classic….. yikes.”

You laughed, as you typed your response. “You’re evicted. Goodnight.”

“The lease is in my name, love. Let me in little bo peep, I’m outside.”

“We don’t take our keys anymore, now?” You inquired, as he strutted through the door, popping his collar to perfect his extra sassy entrance.

“Nope,” he said, popping the P, “I have them. Just wanted to annoy you and get greeted by your lovely face.” He said, wearing his proud smirk.

“Well, that trip from the couch to the front door made me tired. I’m going to bed,” You jokingly said, turning around to play into it.

“Noooooooo,” he whined, running over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind you, “Be nice to me!”

You felt yourself getting weak in the knees, your head spinning and your stomach churning. You didn’t know how much longer you could possibly put off kissing this boy. Especially when he put on his cute act like this. He could be so sarcastic one minute and so fucking cute the next. How were you supposed to control yourself?

“Okay, okay,” you said laughing, collecting yourself after what felt like an hour but had only been a few seconds. “What should we do?”

“I think it’s been quite a while since a proper game of “Truth or Dare”, wouldn’t you say, (Y/L/N)?” He asked, winking at you. Oh, this fucking boy.

“Of all things to do on a Friday night at 11:15, you want to play Truth or Dare?” You asked, giving him only slight fake tude, crossing your arms over your chest while smiling at him.

He grinned. “As a matter of fact, I do. Sit down. I’ll start.” He finished, patting the spot next to him on the couch.

You rolled your eyes but listened anyway, getting comfy next to him while you waited for him to start.

“Y/N, truth or dare?” Noah asked, staring at you intently.

“Truth.”

“Do you still sleep with your nightlight?”

“Um, DUH! You know it gets way too dark in our apartment with these dark ass curtains you picked! I refuse to be tortured because you like to sleep in and not know the sun has risen!”

“That was obviously a touchy subject. My girl thinks the curtains are too dark. Noted.” He laughed as he spoke, obviously getting a kick out of you. He always did.

He would randomly throw in the, “My girl,” comment whenever you would get a bit snarky with him. He always pointed out how you two were already like a married couple. The playful banter would sometimes solicit him making those couply jokes, and as much as they made you melt, you would also realize it didn’t mean what it did to you, to him.

“Hello! Earth to, Y/N! It’s my turn!”

“Sorry. Uh, tr-Truth or dare, Noah?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to go ding dong ditch someone on the 5th floor.” You said, looking down at the ground.

“Y/N, you’re so boring. And I’m way too cozy to be getting up for something so childish right now,” he smirked. “I might as well give myself a dare.”

“Well, why don’t you go on then, Mr. Too Cool For Lame Dares?” You chuckled, looking at him now.

He suddenly got a little more serious, which you knew meant business. He was always lighthearted and happy go lucky. Of course when situations called for it, he was an absolute rock. He gave the best advice, best pep talks and words of encouragement, and you always felt like you had someone on your side. Something must have been weighing on him.

He licked his lips before he spoke. He started slow, “Alright then,” he said, letting out a small nervous, and slightly unsure laugh. “I…. I Dare myself to kiss you, Y/N.”

“You.. what?” Had you heard him right?

“I dare.. I fucking dare myself to fucking kiss you. It’s all I’ve been wanting and needing. This has literally been on my mind for way too long now and it’s driving me crazy. You’re driving me crazy,” he rambled on, his eyes fixated on you for your reaction. “I can’t keep pretending like every time I see you, or every time we hug that I don’t just wanna hold your face and kiss the fuck outta you,” he finished.

You were stunned, mouth open. Speechless, really.

He cleared his throat, his voice sounding much raspier, and sexier, as he reinstated, “So, as long as you’re okay with it and maybe want that too, I dare myself to kiss you.”

“Noah.. I-Uh.. okay,” you silently answered, looking at him with big eyes. You didn’t know how to react, you were worried it was some kind of joke. It didn’t seem real. This handsome, amazing guy, wanting you just as much as you wanted him?

“Okay,” he breathed out a laugh; his breath had hitched as he answered.

He kept his eyes on you as you both slowly leaned in. You closed your eyes and the instant you did that you felt his lips on yours and honestly, you could have cried. Everything felt so right and everything was hazy. You felt yourself get more comfortable and more into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands found your face, as he pulled away from you for a second, eliciting a quiet whimper from you.

“I cannot begin to express how long I’ve wanted this for. And I really cannot explain how beautiful I think you are. Everything about you, Y/N. You’re all I think about. All I thought about while watching that dumb movie was how small and delicate your hands are, how good your hair smells, how your smile literally lights up my day.” He then dropped the contact from your eyes to your neck as he dipped low and kissed your sweet spot. “How badly I want to be with you,” he continued on, sucking your neck a little bit this time. “How badly I need you.”

“Oh Noah,” you moaned, “I want you too. I want you to be mine. I want to be yours. I need you. I really fucking need you.” You were panting at this point, as he was still sucking your neck. You weren’t sure how but you realized at this point your fingers were wrapped between his curls and his breath was shaky against your skin.

“Fuck love. Are you sure you want this? I promise I do, I just want to be sure this is what you want too. I just want you happy, Y/N. I’ve been in love with you from the moment I met you, and I’ve been so nervous to fuck this up. I can’t lose you,” he said, looking back into your eyes, searching to make sure you were okay with what was about to happen.

His words had reassured you, and you finally felt a weight lifted off your shoulders. You gently kissed him, and felt him get into it, lips lightly caressing yours, tongue skimming your bottom lip. You pulled away to say, “I’ve never been so sure, Noah. I’m in love with you too. Always have been. Pretty sure I always will be. Kinda hoping that’s not too honest, but I’m just trying to keep it real,” you laughed a bit.

Noah laughed too, and replied, “You silly, silly girl. You think that honesty of yours isn’t one of the main reasons why I’m so head over heels for you? You’d have thought that in the five years you would have picked up a clue on one of my many obvious signs. Dork,” he teased.

Before you had a moment to retaliate, his hands wandered to your hips and he pulled you in for the most passionate kiss you’ve ever received. He kissed you so gently, yet so fervently, you felt your body turning to mush. He slightly tugged the tips of your hair and you moaned into mouth, allowing him access to slip his tongue in. His warm tongue glided over yours and softly caressed yours. He made you feel so fucking sexy by just kissing, you couldn’t imagine how he could make you feel kissing other parts of you or doing other things with other parts.

You’d only hoped you’d ever be able to find this out. It was your lucky fucking day.

You shifted your body to lay more into him and rested your hand in his lap, only to hear him let out a guttural moan. You’d been so into the heated kiss you hadn’t realized you were a bit further into his lap than you thought and you’d been grazing his dick.

This time, you smirked at him, and went right back in for the kiss, slightly palming him through his jeans, feeling him getting harder with each second that passed by.

“Fuck, Y/N, you make me fucking crazy. You make me feel so good,” he half whimpered, his voice, and his cock, straining.

“C’mere,” he muttered, easily picking you up and shifting you onto his lap. “That’s better,” he grinned cheekily, his hands now resting on your ass.

He put his hand behind your head and pulled you in for another hot kiss. He had one hand resting on your ass, and his other was used to tangle your hair around his fingers. He deepened the kiss by adding his tongue, and you felt your panties absolutely pooling. You needed friction and you were quite sure he definitely wouldn’t mind some.

You stood up, having to break the kiss and having Noah pout at you, to take off your pants. You went to get back on Noah, but he grabbed you gently to stop you. “Tsk, tsk,” he tutted at you. “I believe you’re still wearing too much clothing down there,” he said, pointing to your panties.

“Well, don’t you think the person who has a problem with them, should be the one removing them?” You quizzed, your voice sounding extra sultry and turning Noah on even more so if possible.

“That’s definitely,” he started, getting on his knees in front of you, his head right below your waist, “Not a problem.”

As he finished his sentence, you were a bit confused, but that only lasted a second. He made his way to the elastic band of your panties and locked his teeth into it, pulling them completely off, and pulling you back onto his lap, in one slow, seductive yet swift move.

“That’s better,” he sexily smirked, once again resting his hands on your, now bare, ass.

You decided to be the bold one, and begin to move on him, wrapping your arms around his neck. Slowly grinding down on his hardened cock over his jeans, the pressure feeling absolutely out of this world on your clit. You could tell Noah was into it too. Besides his hooded eyes resting directly on your face and his soft moans, his hands were pushing your ass back and forth on him and slightly down a bit, so it felt better for both of you.

You started slow, yes, but fuck, Noah was fucking packing and you couldn’t help but pick up the pace. You started grinding your hips faster, and that still wasn’t enough. Noah felt that you needed more so he pressed down a bit harder and pushed you a bit quicker back and forth over his cock. You couldn’t help but stare down at where your clit was rubbing his jeans and notice the big wet spot pooled on his pants. It felt so dirty, so raw, so fucking hot. Noah’s hands travelled to your tits, as he started to squeeze while you kept your fast rhythm, humping your bare pussy over his jeans.

“Fuck, Y/N.. I feel- I feel you through my jeans. You’re soaking. I need your shirt off. Now. Fuck,” he strained, his voice so raspy and needy.

He removed your shirt quickly, and proceeded to finally remove all of his clothes in one take. You took to your new found favorite place, yet again, on his lap and slowly lowered yourself onto him. You started grinding on his cock again, teasingly slow. The instant your dripping pussy touched his tip, he let out a moan from his belly, a long, dragged out, “Fuuuuuuuuuck.”

He flipped you over so you were beneath him on the couch. Both of you were silently thanking yourselves for deciding to purchase the couch from Ikea that turns into a flat sofa, big enough to be a bed.

He brought a finger to your mouth, in which you happily obliged and allowed him to put his finger tip in and you began to suck on it. He watched you from above, his mouth in a slight ��o” shape, precum leaking from his dick from being so fucking goddamn turned on by you.

He removed his finger from your mouth and brought it between your legs and toyed with your slit, expertly gathering up your juices, and slowly bringing his fingers to your clit to rub circles.

“Noah, just like that. Right there. Feels so— yeah, feels so fucking good, Daddy,” you said, trying to wind him up. You had called him it as a joke previously one day during another playful fight, and he tensed up for a bit and shortly went to his room after. You now had a slight hunch as to why.

“Oh my god, Y/N. What are you doing to me?” He moaned, slipping a finger between your folds and then slowly entering your warm, wet, pussy. “You’re so fucking tight. God, I can’t wait to feel my girl wrapped around me. You’re gonna feel so good, love. I’m gonna make you feel so. Fucking. Good.” As he finished his sentence he gave you a couple of nice pumps with his fingers, as he added another one in somewhere along the way and it only heightened your pleasure.

You were a moaning mess and needed him. You weren’t beneath begging. In fact, it turned you on. You wanted Noah to have his absolute fucking way with you.

“Please, I need you Noah. I need you,” you whimpered, feeling his dick now pressed between your folds, slowly grinding up and down on your swollen clit.

“Mmmm, my girl is so polite right now, isn’t she?” He toyed, moving his head down to suck your nipple whilst staring at your eyes.

“Please, Noah. I need to feel your big dick inside me. I need you to fuck me so good that I can’t fucking walk after. I need you to be so deep inside me that all I know is you and your name. I need you to cum for me. Please,” you begged, whimpering as he was still sucking, and now moaning, on your tender nipples.

“You don’t have to fucking ask twice. Especially when you sound so sexy begging for me, love.” He stated, bringing his lips closer to your ear, “I’m going to be the best fuck you’ve ever had. You won’t remember anyone before me, and there certainly will be no one after me, I’ll make fucking sure, love. Grab my shoulders, babe. Or pull my hair. Your call,” he whispered, sucking your ear lobe at the end of his cocky speech. It only made you that much more soaked. You were dripping on his thigh that had been pressed between your legs during the duration. He also noticed this, as he said, “Mmmm, I love feeling you on my thigh. You’re fucking drenched.”

“All for you,” you whispered, totally out of breath at this point. How the fuck did you end up here, naked, under your best friend who you’ve been in love with for all these years, whose also naked and has just professed his love for you, as well? Um, WHO FUCKING CARES, WE GOT HERE!

He slipped a condom on and positioned himself at your entrance. “Like I said, let your hands roam wherever they choose. I’m gonna take you on the ride of your fucking life, princess.”

He slowly entered you, neither of you being able to contain the moans that erupted in your bellies. “Shit,” Noah whimpers, as one of his hands grabs onto the end of the couch, the other around your waist, “You feel so amazing. So warm, so wet. So. Fucking. Tight.”

He was all the way inside you, balls fucking deep. He slowly slipped back out and all the way back in, his cock caressing your insides and making you feel as though you could already cum all over him. You had your head in his neck as he continued pumping himself in and out of you, and you started sucking on his neck.

“Yeah, fuck, that feels so good. You feel so good. Fuck. I can’t believe we waited this long. I love you so much, Y/N. My god, fuck. You’re so fucking tight for me.” Noah said, panting after every other word.

“Oh, I love you too. So much. Shit, yeah Noah! Oh my god, right fucking there, Daddy! You feel so fucking good. Your big cock all the way inside my pussy, you get so fucking deep. My god, go faster. Yeah. Please, please keep fucking going,” you moaned, your voice definitely raising an octave.

“Fuck,” Noah whimpered, pumping faster to keep up with your demands, as he locks eyes with you, his mouth completely open as he slams in and out of you while keeping his fast pace. The couch is shaking and it’s only elevating the sex appeal of the entire situation.

Noah can tell you’re getting close, and he’s feeling like he could bust at any second, so he brings his fingers down to rub fast, hard circles on your clit, while he pumps quickly in and out of you.

“Fuck, Noah, yes. Oh my god, yessssssss! Keep fucking going, just like that,” you yell, turning Noah on more and more with each second that passes. He feels as though he can combust just fucking watching you. You’re absolutely perfect.

“Yeah, you like when I’m fucking you so hard and playing with that pretty pussy of yours? You like when I take care of you huh, my girl? I want you to let me know how fucking good you feel. Let everyone in the building know who’s making you feel this good, love. Cum on my cock, Y/N,” he panted and moaned, sounding just as close to his release as you were.

“Yeah Noah, you make my pussy feel so fucking good. Right there, you’re hitting my spot fuck. I’m gonna cum all over you, fuck. Oh fuck, yeah please, oh my god I’m cumming, Noah!” You yelled, definitely loud enough for all of the neighbors on the 7th floor to know exactly what you’re doing and whose doing it to you. You released all over him, your ears ringing and legs shaking. Your body felt ignited in a way you’ve never experienced before. You wanted him to cum so bad. You needed to see him cum. Ultimately, you needed to be the reason he had to cum. “Fuck, Noah, please cum for me. I need to watch you fall apart on top of me. I need you to show me how good I make you feel. Let me know how much you love my pussy,” you panted, pushing him to his release and his thrusts getting sloppier.

“Fuck, you’re so filthy. My feisty, dirty girl. Who knew you had such a filthy mouth? You’re gonna make me cum, Y/N. Oh fuck, yeah love, fuck I love you. Oh, yeah, shit,” Noah moaned, voice literally raspier than ever as he slammed his hand down on the end of the couch, gripping it for dear life. You felt his cock twitch inside you and his face scrunched up while he moaned inaudible words and chanted your name and he released into the condom, still inside of you, locking eyes with you just as he had cum but he had to close his eyes from the pleasure being so intense.

His body collapsed onto yours, and you wrapped your arms around him, as you both came down from your highs. He was silently tracing shapes on your arm while his head was resting in the crook of you neck, planting small kisses to the spots he had sucked on earlier.

As you both finally caught your breaths, he lifted his head and caught your eyes. He raised his hand to brush away a piece of hair that clung to your sweaty face, as he sweetly and softly laughed.

“I can’t believe I went to that dumb fucking movie and came home to tell you how in love with you I am,” he said, smiling down at you.

“All thanks to a solid game of truth and dare that hardly took off,” you chuckled, staring right back into his gorgeous, sweet eyes.

“Shit,” he said, realizing you hardly got through the game. He smirked, “Y/N, truth or dare?” He asked, as he grabbed your hand.

“I’m too tired for another one of your kind of dares.. Truth,” you said, snorting as you laughed.

He kissed you gently before placing his lips at your ear and whispered, “Will you be my girlfriend?”

[vvitchcrvfttm]

* . ROSS LYNCH,  TRANS MALE,  HE/HIM.  —  looks  like  CYRUS GOODE  is  attending   AURORIA UNIVERSITY  in  auradon.  they're  the  TWENTY-ONE year  old  child  of  THEODORA / THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST ( ADOPTED BY GLINDA ) ,  which  means  they're  from  OZ .  heard  they're  OBSERVANT  &  CHARMING ,  but  can  also  be  INSECURE  &  LONELY  ;  we  all  have  our  bad  days.  people  normally  associate  them  with  BLACK BRIMMED HATS & DIAMOND HEADBANDS , CANDLES LIGHTING BY THEMSELVES , BLONDE HAIR WITH DARK & INGROWN ROOTS , BLACK POLISHED FINGERTIPS CLINGING TO A STAR-TIPPED WAND.

                                        ❛  dreams unwind and LOVE’S a state of mind. ❜                                             playlist. pinterest. to listen as you read.    

yeah I cracked. I saw ‘oz’ n immediately had 2 bring my og witch child... this oc i’ve had for like, three years?? and he’s changed so much over my course of writing him bUT doing that is literally so !! fun n I’mm so excited to introduce him 2 u guys. please proceed w/ caution however bc the following contains trigger warnings for toxic relationships , manipulation , depression , and mentions of drug / alcohol / cigarette use. none I dive deeply into , but pls be cautious !!

HISTORY

He’s conceived as a product of an affair between the Witch and the Wizard - as of course , the story does start out when he first arrives in Oz and she , still kind and innocent , falls for a conman’s game. But the events that follow after spiral so quickly that she doesn’t even know she’s pregnant until everything’s over , and she gives birth in seclusion.

Well , almost seclusion.

The only person there is Glinda.

It’s slated for her crimes against Oz that she be sent to the Isle - and Glinda knows for multiple reasons that sending her child with her to the Isle of the Lost will be a horrible idea.

1.) The Isle is essentially a large prison. A child can’t be raised in a prison.

2.) All of the good that Theodora held inside of her , all of the love in her heart , was stolen and taken away from her by her wicked sister. And that’s not Theodora’s fault - but can she give a child love and affection when she’s in such a state ?? Maybe it’s possible , but it’s risky.

3.) If the child is Oscar’s , the child will have to at least have a chance of experiencing life in Oz. Even though , the Wizard has to keep up his facade.

4.) When he settles down from his crying , he looks up at Glinda with innocent , big brown eyes that she finds her heart melting for. He doesn’t sport the same green shade of skin his mother does , but his eyes are Oscar’s and his features are similar to Theodora’s before she turned wicked. And she can’t turn away a face like that.

Glinda selfishly makes the decision to hide away the child and raise him as her own - and Theodora is sent to the Isle , knowing that her baby is in the good witch’s hands and anguishly lamenting for days - until of course , he’s an afterthought.

But the baby does indeed get care from Glinda - too much , in fact. Her child is spoiled - thankfully not rotten , given that a good witch teaches her child to be a good child. And every time he talks to her , she gives him the utmost love and care a mother can give - when he discovers his identity , she’s more than willing to accept him and makes adjustments around Emerald City so everyone else knows to as well. Whenever he’s hurt or sad or sick , she refuses to leave his side so she can comfort him and protect him as much as he needs. Whenever he asks for something , if it’s not out of reason , she can’t say no. He’s spoiled - but not rotten. He’s spoiled sweet. 

But Glinda can’t protect him forever - and she knows she can’t hide his real origin from him forever. He doesn’t know why he’s had such a weird allergy to water since he was little , hence why he bathes with heaps of soap and bath salts so the water becomes a solution that won’t sting. He can’t stay in the ocean for too long since the saltwater’s definitely not pure , but will hurt after a long while. And soon he’ll begin to ask questions - and Glinda prepares herself while Cyrus experiments with other means.

Boys included.

Falling for another Auradonian boy is expected , and Cyrus sees him as the perfect gentleman. But underneath the flattering words and sweet nothings lies an ulterior motive to break into Glinda’s quarters and steal her wand since his parents were followers of Evanora’s - and Glinda killed her. And before it even comes to a breaking point , the relationship grows toxic , growing more and more evident that he’s being used for not only his status in Oz , but also because of his parentage.

It finally ends when he breaks into Glinda’s palace , finding not only the wand but the crucial information that Glinda’s son is not her biological son. And when Cyrus catches him , he firstly tells Cyrus that he’s never loved him ( along with the million things he finds wrong with him that drill into the young man’s self-esteem ) and that his mother - his mother who’s done nothing but love him his entire life - has lied to him. His biological mother is a dirty criminal on the Isle , and Cyrus will probably be just like her when he gets older. 

He’s thwarted , thank Oz ; but there’s enough damage already done. 

Cyrus grows confused and cold - disgusted that he gave his trust away so quickly to someone so VILE , but also wondering how he could easily believe the lies from both that individual and his mother because he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand. And a heated argument with Glinda - probably the first awful one they’ve ever had - leads Cyrus to running away from the palace for a few days , now feeling like a good portion of his life has been a lie. 

He spends his time wandering around the Emerald City - at least his mother knows he’s safe in the Emerald City , so she keeps her distance. And in the meanwhile , he researches the woman who gave birth to him to a T , reading about how she used to be so kind and sweet but then the Wizard led her to giving her heart away , and she turned wicked soon after . . . 

Her story matches up with his up until the part she turns wicked , so he’s left worrying if that’ll be his fate , as well.

When he returns home , he’s become DISTANT AND ANGRY AND MOODY - while he lets his mother hug him and kiss him and tell him how much he loves her , he’s closed off still and allows himself to fall deeper into a low he can’t seem to get out of. Everything hurts. Everything hurts and nothing seems to make it better so he decides he must have to change in order to stop it. And the only way he can seemingly change is if he takes after the roots he’s only dug up now.

To try and start anew , Glinda proposes they move to Auroria. He finishes prep school and graduates at eighteen , moving onto University ; but the change of scenery means only it’s a different palace and a different area with a bunch of faces that will also probably judge him for being different. He’s always been a quiet loner of a child - and he wants it to end.

So yes , he starts going out more. And in that sense , he starts making himself more social with parties and drinking and smoking and learning to do things his mother can’t imagine. He makes a reputation for himself as a DELINQUENT as he starts to act out , getting into fights with people he disagrees with and even using that magic she taught him for petty vengeance. Also , for business - since he’s growing talented with potions and enchantments.  

While maybe he’s opened back up to his mother , he’s still different. He’s no longer sweet and trusting and his heart is no longer upon his sleeve - instead , there’s a MASK , a mask of cockiness and callousness to hide the fact he still hurts , and he throws himself into discomforting situations to dedicate himself to acting like he’s someone he isn’t. And the more he plays into this , the more he wonders about who he really is , and who the identity of ‘ Cyrus Goode ’ is.

It used to be easy to answer the question , ‘ Are you a good witch or a bad witch ?? ’

Now . . . he’s not so sure. And with now people coming from where his mother lies , he’s wondering if he can figure out that answer. Especially maybe if he can fit in with people . . . like him.

CHARACTER & FACTS

So yES thank u sm for reading that super long backstory !! Again Cyrus is one of my deeply beloved OCs , he’s a rly confused boy trying to figure out who he is while also trying to convince himself he’s someone he isn’t to lessen his pain of being hurt. That being said , lemme be frank - how he is on the outside vs. how he is on the outside are two very different things.

On the OUTSIDE , he’s a cocky loudmouth who probably gets into way more trouble than he needs in. He’s also willing to indulge into more risks considering he thinks it’s going to numb him. A party boy through and through , he’s . . . an acquired taste. He acts careless , like he’s invincible and there’s nothing you can do to break him.

But on the INSIDE , he’s still sad , lonely , scared - but immensely sweet and soft. There’s a part of him that still wants to be himself , to openly trust and love and all - but he doesn’t think that’s an option anymore since he let himself get hurt so easily. But he’s not proud of the person he’s becoming but he doesn’t think . . . he has many options.

Sometimes , though , that mask will crack , and Cyrus will break. Sometimes it’s when he needs a release , and other times it’s unwarranted. He’s so afraid of that happening in front of other people since the fear of being vulnerable is too real , since he’s worried that’ll lead to him being taken advantage of again.

So even if he does have a lot of ‘ friends, ’ not many he’s close with. And while he has a habit of flirting and sleeping around , relationships aren’t his thing - despite the fact he actually WANTS love and validation and affection to a t.

But that isn’t to say his charm is fake - no , not at all. He’s naturally a bit of a charming kid , extremely observant with body language and reading the atmosphere. And he’s pretty good at keeping a conversation , genuinely knowing the right spots to hit as well as how to keep a conversation going on how to end it. It’s what makes people want to keep him around despite the fact he can be fucking annoying at times.

He’s a good kid underneath everything - there’s just a lot of confusion & denial & fear covering it. 

He’s EXTREMELY talented & bright in both magic and art !! He’s fond of painting and sketching and often expresses his true emotions in his artwork - it’s a bit why he’s so hesitant to show him to people.

And magic.... well , Glinda taught him everything he knows. And his own studies made for him to teach himself valuable practices , as well.

He’s a practicing witch religiously , as well. Crystals , sigils , tarot cards , etc. He’s an expert in all of it. He almost ALWAYS has at least one crystal on his person - and a lot of the jewelry he wears is enchanted. 

SPEAKING OF JEWELRY & AESTHETICS ,,,, dude’s fashion sense has changed a bit since he’s tried to embrace more of his inner West Witch but I will say. Both styles are cute.

When he was more in tune with his ‘Good Witch’ side , he wore very nice silver , blue , white etc. vests with glittery patterns over nice white shirts with rolled up sleeves. Yk how Glinda has her crown ?? He had ( and still has ) multiple bejeweled headbands bc frankly they look cute on him. 

Over tIME THOUGH he’s definitely embraced the ‘witch in all black’ thing 100%. Likes the big, floppy black hats and almost always has a black headband to accompany it. Choker necklaces, biker gloves, leather jackets - also his own pair of ruby boots , but they’re not powerful or anything they just look cute. Also almost always has some pair of sunglasses on bc they make a nice accessory even when you’re wearing them on the top of your head and not ur face.

And again - both ways , 100% is always wearing a few crystals and enchanted pieces of jewelry. 

To express himself a bit more he’s also gotten a few tattoos !! Mainly on his arms for now , but there’s one exception since he has a teeny , tiny star on his right cheek. It looks more like a little freckle if you’re not up close - but other than that , it’s stars and stuff along his arms as well as sigils , spells , etc.

He’s definitely not as strained w/ his mom rn since he’s taken a chance to like. Think things over. Since it’s been about 4-5 years since the initial reveal his biological mother is Theodora. While he’s still very confused about . . . everything , he stills takes walks with his mom through her garden and routinely talks to her about stuff. Maybe it’s not super duper close like before , but it’s better than four years ago. 

It takes a lot to earn his trust. Like , a shit ton. If u rly wanna form a close bond with him and earn his trust ur gonna have to work for it bc Cyrus is determined to not let himself get hurt again and that means he’s extremely guarded.

Still has that water allergy : ( But it’s not all liquids it’s just !! Pure / natural water. So the more gunked up the water is with a solute , the less likely it is to make him sizzle.

Also has 100% taught himself how to ride a broom thx to his mother aka ‘SURRENDER DOROTHY’

and also smoke cigarettes out of crushed poppy seeds bc again, gotta stay tru to mother

Again I think I specified this earlier ago bt he’s determined to try and fit in with at least some Isle kids since . . . his mother’s on the Isle. She’s a villain. His mom is Glinda but his mother is Theodora and he wants to be closer to her and he thinks he’s sort of doing so by embracing the Isle kids and wanting to be a part of them.

I still feel like he’s very. Teeter tottery on it since he grew up in Auradon and probably has some meaningful connections there and he doesn’t want to say goodbye to that but also he learns now it’s by a twist of fate he didn’t end up on the Isle and almost wonders if he was meant to.

I’m going very ‘Fire Emblem Fates’ on this idk I just found the idea of an AK adopted when he was supposed to be a VK as. Intriguing.

He’s also dealing w/ like. If his Mom ever decides to like , retire or something ?? Is he the next Good Witch of the South or is he destined to be the next Wicked Witch of the West ??? It’s tough.

Also bc I forgot to mention it already !! He’s panromantic pansexual and 6′3 bc I fckin said so. May or may not have researched height spells to make himself taller.

I also just wanna let u all know if this intro seems v. Serious I promise u Cyrus is a witty memefucker and not in a Luke ‘deadpan snarker’ way he’s just. Loudmouthed n uncensored and makes jokes at every given minute he can bc eVERYONE likes a funny guy.

Again he’s like. A comfort character. This dude means so much to me n I’m so excited to throw him at u guys.  

I wanted 2 list characters that helped inspire who he is today bt. I think I might save that 4 like... a graphic or smth. :^)

WANTED CONNECTIONS & PLOTS 

PLEEEEASE GIVE ME OLD FRIENDS OF HIS IN AURADON THAT KNOW HOW SOFT HE IS INWARDLY

Also friends that r just. Rly shocked by how much he’s changed. and kinda miss how he used to be before he got hurt : (

friends that sorta prefer how he’s changed?? maybe partygoing friends n stuff???

folks who are lowkey ‘wow goode got cool/hot/badass/etc.’ bc it’s definitely a signficant Shift

VKs who are encouraging him to embrace tht side of him more n dig down to his roots !!

AKs who are encouraging him to not have to try n change for that n be how he always was !!

Ppl in general who just rly would like for him to be himself and embrace who he is rather than trying to stick to a single side !!

AKs who see him as kind of like. A traitor 4 wanting to get close with the VKs

VKs who see him as too much of an AK and r basically like ‘idc if ur mother literally coined the term ‘wicked witch’ u can’t sit with us.

Rly I’m just so addicted to this ‘CHOOSE A SIDE’ thing like I generally find that as a plot so. Interesting n I def want all the connections that are sort of impacted by it since Cyrus is discovering so much abt himself

I also wld love some folks in generals he can like... be soft around. Let down his walls around. Slowly they get to know him and take the time and patiently earn his trust even tho he rly is a lot to handle.

Ppl who solely like him for the fact he can do magic bc again haha y’all can deffo use him idm

Ppl who rly dislike him whether it be for the fact he acts like a cocky dick on the outside or they don’t like how he’s trying to change himself and he doesn’t seem authentic at all literally Cyrus can b kind of sucky so pls make ppl dislike him. None of my OCs get along w/ him. Luke maybe dated him for a day n got tired already. 

He’s a lot 2 handle.

Okay he’s kind of a flirt like Luke and even tho he’s not nearly on their self-proclaimed philanderer level he still kinds. Gets around so pls gimme hookups on either end

Old crushes he used to have in Auradon when he was a lil kid, in middle school, high school w/e that never happened for whatever reasons

Also an angsty unrequited crush bc I love pain

Exes that were folks he tried to date in Auradon after he got hurt bt it just. Didn’t work out for w/e reason - probably bc Cyrus is terrified of getting hurt again.

Would also lov that one longterm relationship that lasted for like. A year or so while Cyrus was going through his shit that was probably rly good for him and they though it’d last but he had to break it off out of his own fear : (

First healthy love plot based off of San Francisco by TDE per piacere?

Listen I kno I already have a first love plot wanted for Luke bt this one’s sad for dIFFERENT REASONS 

I’d lov like ?? A will they/won’t they where Cyrus kind of has to open up n’ stuff before they can rly be together and it’s just up in the air even tho there are mUTUAL feelings ?? I wanna explore the relationship part of this tho instead of just. Throwing them into a ship n the next day they’re 2gether. Also would have to b discussed when seeing chemistry between the characters since. Ya.

WLD DEF B OPEN 2 A POLY WILL THEY/WONT THEY TOO

I already cleared thru enemies but again pLS GIVE ME RELATIONSHIPS THAT SHIFT BETWEEN LIKE. FRIENDS TO ENEMIES. EXES TO ENEMIES. ENEMIES TO FRIENDS. BACKSTABBING BITCHES. THAT SHIT. I LOVE IT. GIVE ME THE DRAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Thats it.

me: i kno i just listed the obligatory shippy stuff but i want to remind u again i love it when other characters hate mine

I love just exploring. Connections and relationships between characters in general whether they’re hostile, platonic, romantic, etc. like I love exploring that stuff like I’m here 4 everything.

ibh sometimes i worry abt posting shippy connections just bc i dont wanna give the impression thATS ALL I WANT even tho i think i listed more non-shippy connections than shippy

...i still worry.

bt yeah licherally give me anything. I’m a plot hoe even tho I suck at it.

[fortress-of-iserlohn]

If you're still up to doing the "Send me a fandom/ship and I will tell you" list of questions, anything/everything you want to do for logh and/or reuyang, 001/002/ and/or 003 :) I'd love to hear your thoughts!

jsdfaosjadfo. YOU ARE GREAT. MY HERO. I’M SCREAMGIDSNFOSDF.

imma put this under a cut because. (do you need to ask? xD)

REUYANG

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them: 1 month ago. when that GODDAMNED fic tilted my world a lot and i died

My thoughts: at that moment? it was holy shit. then i went to search for fic and it became FUCK MY LIFE. but i truly, truly love this ship SO MUCH. it’s one of the ships i will have a never dying love for despite the fact it is a pool noodle ship in the big wide ocean. but i can’t stop. won’t stop.

What makes me happy about them: aggressive reuenthal vs emotional brick wall yang! but really. yang finally having someone who understands him on all levels and reuenthal having someone he can trust. (reuenthal is considered one of the best strategists in the series :0 and he’s politically inclined as well and even though yang hates everything, he’s also switched on in regards to that. i feel like they would be able to help shoulder each others burdens a little! sharing is caring after all~~~) gosh i headcanon so hard that reuenthal is the petty jealous type because I REALLY LIKE PETTY JEALOUSY FOR SOME REASON. 

What makes me sad about them: CANON. like. they never meet in canon. but i believe in the novel there’s a line somewhere about yang and reuenthal being born in the same year and then dying in the same year? but honestly, i think if they ever met, yang and reuenthal would actually. get along great? yang has a lot of not-so-underrated sass and reuenthal seems like the type to understand and appreciate yang’s particular brand of sass

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: that there’s not enough (any) fic??????? fandom pls help me. 

Things I look for in fanfic: um. for it to exist? ;w; but i would DIE for a long, slow burn fic :D

My wishlist: like i said above, LONG!FIC. SLOW BURN. MUTUAL PINING. PROTECTIVE!REUENTHAL. 

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: reuenthal/happiness & yang/schonkopf XD cos look. reu deserves to be happy okay (even though he’s a massive dick) and yang gets his knight. we’re all good.

My happily ever after for them: where they get a chance to meet and reuenthal learns to be less of an arrogant prick and rely on people more and yang gets his wish to retire young and they get a house somewhere far from the war and live together happily ;w;

YANG because this needs no reasoning

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you:

How I feel about this character: MUST PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS. no but seriously i never expected to like him as much as i do. oh my god i weep for what happens and i’m legit never going to finish watching the ova or reading the novels because i will be a friggen wreck and a half!!!!

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Hmmmmmm lemme see. THIS IS A REAL HARD QUESTION GUYS. i had to think REAL HARD ON THIS ONE. i had to meditate beneath a waterfall and cleanse my mind for six days on top of uluru and it was then that the answer came to me. no but seriously if you’ve talked to me ever in the last month you’d know my biases is reuyang followed by schonyang

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: 13th fleet and yang. also rosen ritter & yang. i love their interactions. they’re all precious to me

My unpopular opinion about this character: he should’ve gone ahead and listened to schonkopf and SEIZED POWER (wait is this even an unpopular opinion?????????????)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: THAT HE ENDED UP LIVING. OH MY GOD WHY. like. i have a burning need for fics where schonkopf insists on coming with him and yang lives. or like. he never goes and he lives. i just. pls just let him live ;w;

Favorite friendship for this character: the pairing aside, i’m huge on schonkopf and yang friendship, i feel like it in schonkopf yang gets a confidant that he deserves :3

My crossover ship: has anyone here played samurai warriors (koei) because mouri motonari/yang wenli would be hysterical. motonari is like. an alternate version of yang - a genius strategist who really would just prefer to be a historian. and in the game series he actually fakes his own death to do study history and force his grandson to take over his head of family duties lmaooooo. (yang could learn a lesson or two).

oh my gosh i had so much fun doing thisdfnaosdjfsaof XD XD XD

[imagine-wannaone]

Lee Daehwi Super Powers Au

Waddup So this was written yesterday and idk whether to do a powers au so I guess this is just a try??

In other news I got Seventeens new album for my bday today and got The8 i am blessed. Anywhere, here we go. also pls tell me if I need to tag any triggers, I’m not great at this stuff whoops.

 • Lemme get one thing straight, you didn’t want to use your ability for bad,  • It just kinda happened that you became a theif,  • You were trapped,  • You were a teen when you got dragged into a whole mess of a gang, when you went to take out a loan to pay for treatment for your brother’s illness,  • Because your brother was the most important thing to you but your family couldn’t afford his treatment,  • But you didn’t realise the loan company was actually kinda not a company and you had just officially ruined your life,

 • With gastronomic Interest, you had to pay them back the money with no way of being able to do it,  • Read the small print y'all,  • So they offered you another option: you hated it but there was no other way to help your brother, and they threatened to cut your brother’s treatment if you stepped out of line,  • And in a world made with certain people who had abilities, they made sure to utilize yours,  • Aka the ability to change your appearance and voice to fit it,  • They had you as a thief, and with your skill and ability you quickly became notorious around the city,  • Which made you extremely paranoid, causing you to constantly switch appearances,  • I don’t mean switching looks every minute or something bizarre,  • I mean you never showed your true appearance anymore, you were always someone else and started to panic at the thought of people seeing the real you,  • So you stayed in your place by day planning heists the gang had sent you to do, and went on the missions by night,  • And you hated everything about the way you lived, but you knew your brother was getting better, so you kept at it,  • The gang sent you a particularly dangerous heist one night, and you did not think it was a wise idea at all,  • Like there were shit tonnes of guards and cameras and the switch overs were smooth and the codes hard to crack,  • As a thief, you were known to be able to go in and out before anyone would even realise anything was gone, shifting into guards or ceo’s or customers,  • And you trained your ability to perfection, having no flaws in your transformation and being able to quickly switch features,  • A master™  • But you plan this near impossible heist anyway because you have to, you have everything to lose,  • And while bits of the heist are a bit by chance or freestyle,  • You hate yourself for being quite confidant, as always,  • But heists had started going wrong lately,  • A guard unconvinced and almost omniscient,  • Or the whole place closed for a day as if they already knew,  • Little things going wrong preventing the heists and causing them to go wrong,  • You didn’t know how because they were all planned to perfection, but something was happening,  • You heard whispers of a mole but no one ever told you anything so you had no idea really,  • So you’re dropped off by the usual gruff looking men who are going to wait down the street, safe for them,  • You where dressed as a medium height middle aged woman with brown hair, trying to blend in with the people around you,

 • Like a chameleon damn,  • You float into the bank and act naturally, milling around the atm’s and looking at posters,  • A boy around your actual age seems to keep glancing at you, which sets your nerves off,  • Not only is he cute, it’d be insanely weird for someone his age to be staring at a middle aged lady,  • You try to sway away from his prying eyes and keep your heart at normal pace and prevent your hands shaking,  • You always got nerves before a heist and this dude really wasn’t helping,  • At all,  • Smh doesn’t he know it’s rude to stare?  • You’re nearly set on going over there and telling him yourself, but with your ‘can I see the manager’ hair style you play your role and send him a disapproving mum glare and shake you head, moving on,  • Perfect, v realistic,  • But the dude doesn’t stop sending u shady side eyes, so you decide to get the hell on with it,  • So your eyes scan the floor before slipping into a side door,  • Smooth as always, might I add,  • You change your appearance quickly into a guard and take out a hand mirror quickly to check that you’re perfect,  • Indeed you are perfect,

 •You were about to take off down the hall when the door slides open again,  • You’re about to get into character when the boy from earlier locks eyes with you and lunges,  • You dodge as quick as a whippet and a fight™ ensues,  • You can tell idk how to write a fight omg,  • DW I’ll get better,  • You’re both incredibly good to the point you defo know this ain’t just a usual kid who’s taken some martial arts classes,  • Because as soon as you dodge one punch and throw your own, he’s dodged that and is launching another assault with a knee or elbow,

 • He keeps saying something along the line of 'Stop I’m trying to help’ but you ain’t buying no shady nonsense,  • And you’re both getting pretty beaten, bruises and small cuts appearing, a bloody nose or a broken finger,  • But shit really hits the fan when a guard comes round the corner and then you’re both in for it,  • You’re internally having a meltdown you’ve never had to deal with this before,  • And then your tryna fight the boy and the guards and - shit,  • A bullet grazes your leg but it instantly burns and shocks you to hell,  • Your appearance flickers before returning to the middle aged lady aka the wrong disguise, who0ps,  • Your leg burns and the shock throws you off balance long enough for the boy to wrap an arm around your shoulder and have you against a wall in a second,  • You’re about to swing your leg back to hit him when chloroform and damn you’re out cold,  • Actually outraged in your knocked out state,  • Who DaRe?  • Like you don’t blame them, you’re a damn thief, tbh you’d probs knock yourself out if you were in their situation,  • but hOw DaRe tHey?  • And you’re defo worried about who just chloroformed you but whatever,  • Idek if you can think all this while passed out but you find a way,  • You wake up with someone’s hand on your forehead and you stay still, trying to gather your bearings and figure stuff out before you let them know you’re awake,  • I mean the hand thing is so weird but you deal with it you til you gather that your head’s also in someone’s lap and your skin is tingling and you decide this is very weird,  • I mean not a hard conclusion to come to but a conclusion all the same,  • You slowly open one eye and wow,  • Bright lights,  • But you soldier through it and stare straight ahead at the face of the boy ahead of you,  • You’re about to jump out of your skin but the boys eyes are closed and he looks so peaceful with flawless skin and a slight frown, his brow creased in concentration,  • And then you realise your leg doesn’t burn and your hand and knuckles don’t scream like they did before you dropped,  • And you realise he’s someone like you, he’s a healer,  • And it makes your heart fly with joy, you’ve found someone else with an ability and all of a sudden you feel safer,  • Especially because he’s a healer,  • But then your eyes trail to your arm and your body and all the safety is thrown away,  • You have no disguise, no fake face or fake voice; it’s purely you and it makes you dizzy and sick,  • He must sense your panic because his eyes crack open and he smiles widely at you, removing his hand from your forehead,  • Wow his smile settles your heart and warms your cheeks,  • A million questions run through your foggy brain, where are we and what happened? Who is he and why is he so cute? Where’s the boy from before and what’s going to happen when your former gang know you’re not with them?  • “Y/N, right? I’m Daehwi, and give me a sec and I’ll tell you all the gossip,”  • While his soft voice is calming when you sit up, a wave of dizziness hits you like a wrecking ball ridden by Miley cirus  • (Wow my pop culture references about 5 years too late),  •But despite your swimming head you quickly change your skin, opting for the first thing you can think of, which happens to be Daehwi,  • You change your hair quickly and alter your face and body to match his within seconds,  • You’re kinda embarrassed that you just changed into him but you’re panicking,  • While the boy next to you may have seen your face, you’d prefer if no one else would,  • “That’s increadible,”  • The look on Daehwi’s face, as well has his bubbly laugh, makes you flush but you’re heart is still beating a mile a minute and your chest feels a little too tight,  • “While that’s really cool, and I’m really flattered, I thought your natural face was much prettier,”  • Your face (or is it Daehwi’s?) blushes violently at the comment but the fact you don’t look like yourself calms you a little,  • “A healer, then?”  • You ask simply to change the subject, although it’s pretty obvious at this point,  • “Yep, not one of the coolest abilities but pretty handy. You’re obviously a shape shifter, damn the whole city knows you’re a shape shifter, but seeing it myself, damn, it’s way cooler than I thought”  • He talks in such a laid back manner, leaning back onto his hands, his whole presence relaxing,  • He really suits his ability,  • “I think healing’s the best ability, you get to help,”  • Your voice is quiet but your words are the truth, and you can see Daehwi’s about to reply when the door swings open and the boy from earlier wonders in, doing a double take at the two Daehwi’s sat on the bed and sighing before dropping down into a nearby chair,  • He’s hardly met you and he’s already done with your shit lmao,  • But you’re eyeing him suspiciously because this guy FRICKEN chloroformed you and you still have no answers as to what the hell is going when he launched into a Hella Long explanation,  • To put it simply,

 • Daehwi and the boy, Guanlin, are part of an organisation that rescue abilities from sticky situations and tries to stop the people with abilities for using them nastily,  • (Avengers who?)  • There was indeed a mole in your gang as they planned to rescue you whilst intercepting a heist of yours,  • They didn’t expect you to fight so defiantly back but I mean,  • So then you explain that you’re really not nasty, I mean you used to put milk in before your cereal but yOu’vE cHanGeD,  • You explain your situation and they agreed  that they’ll see what they can do for your brother and you feel like you might cry because this is too good to be true,  • Half convinced this is some awful experiment or teasing you,  • So you spend a few days in the room you wake up in, just in case, in which you discover is actually Daehwi’s room,  • Which is kinda awkward,  • But you honestly can’t ask for a better first friend in the base they have there,  • Daehwi is oh so patient, painfully so, encouraging you to take your time and helps introduce you to the many people in the base, most of which have powers themselves which blows your mind a little

 • You’ve never seen so many abilities,  • And it takes you a while to trust Guanlin, but as soon as you do you realise he’s just a goof and you apologise endlessly for hurting him,  • And you start helping out at the base, doing small missions to help others by using your ability,  • And it feels good,  • Especially when you can come back to Daehwi at the end of the day and laugh and relax into the night,  • And you visit your brother for a very emotional reunion and he’s getting better and life just seems to be good,

 • And in the middle of it all is Daehwi, who you would trust with your life,  • I mean he is a healer many people trust him with their lives,

 • So you’re sat in his room (or your now shared one - you refuse to sleep anywhere else, feeling unsafe) chatting into the night,  • When you both reach a lull in conversation,  • “Y/N, why do you never walk, or sleep, or eat, or live in your normal skin?”  • The question is so out of the blue that your eyes snap to his,  • Which rest on you,  • They always rest on you,  • And you try to figure out a way to say it without feeling stupid,  • Because in your mind it is a whole concept and fear, but there aren’t enough words to describe how you feel, and to condense your thoughts into words belittles them endlessly,  • “It’s scary, showing your true self. I used to fear people would recognise me and arrest me, for being a thief, but nowadays it’s almost as if I don’t trust people enough. Enough to see my face,”  • You pick your words carefully but still feel as if it’s a weak excuse,  • “You don’t trust me, y/n?”  • His words shock you, make you question yourself, and you look into those soft, open eyes and brace yourself,  •You know he’s right as you relax, completely relax for the first time in years, letting all of your facade melt away to show your true skin, your true eyes, your true being,  • And there’s something in Daehwi’s eyes that you love as he looks at your pure self,

 • You feel insanely exposed but Daehwi himself settles you,  • And you know you no longer need to hide yourself from Daehwi anymore when he leans over, wrapping an arm around your real hips,  • Cups the back of your head,  • And gently smiles and he places his lips on your real ones,

[localrobosexual]

so how about The Last Knight huh

HECKO I totally forgot to make that post about what I thought about Transformers 5 after I watched it whOOPS

so here they are now!! :0 it’s kinda long though. Sorry about that. Unlike my post about GOTG Vol. 2 that one time, for this one I just kinda wrote down some erratic notes about thoughts and reactions I had as I watched the movie, and then I kinda summed up my opinion about it overall down at the end?? so yeah. That’s how this one is gonna play out lol. Generalized running commentary style.

(fair warning: this WILL contain spoilers!! Like I can’t,,, , talk about it without giving stuff away lmao. If you haven’t seen the movie, and still want to and plan on doing so, I don’t recommend you read this!)

alright u made it past the spoiler warning so here we go!!

-  Quintessa gave me a lot of G1 Unicron vibes with the whole "I made you, you are mine to command" thing

- "Why do we tell these stories, besides the fact that dragons are wicked" girl same lmao

- I literally cannot. CANNOT. Take Barricade seriously. With those ridiculous "punish" and “enslave” branded brass knuckles. Buddy. My dude. Please chill. You're literally trying to be so edgy man just. Turn it down a notch lmao - Optimus literally didn't sound at all like himself at first?? It sounded like he had a different voice actor for those first few lines he spoke?? That was weird. It wasn't until the second time he appeared on screen where Quintessa was telling him about where the staff was hid was I like "oh wait yeah there's Peter Cullen" - the "Cybertron is coming" shot looked sUPER fake and green screened to me for whatever reason?? like idk I think it was the lighting they had on him but it was reALLY FUNNY PFFFFTT

- Bee swinging his legs on top of that roof was sUPER CUTE THANK U IM BLESSED

- Mohawk. Um. Who thought turning Junkrat into a Transformer was a good idea bc that’s literally all this dude is lmao

- What kind of name is Nitro Zeus. Im cryin. PRETTY SURE HE HAS THE SAME VOICE ACTOR AS THE ONE TIGER ALIEN FROM BEN 10??? I DON’T REMEMBER HIS NAME BUT HE WAS THE ONE THAT ALWAYS WENT "LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHIN". WHY DOES HE HAVE SHOCKWAVE'S FACE. IM SO DONE

- I like how they had the whole holoform bike thing going on?? like how Prowl's was in TFA and Arcee’s was in TFP that was neato - I WILL NEVER GET USED TO HEARING BUMBLEBEE SWEAR I S2G but the Siri voice thing was pretty funny ngl. I saw that in a trailer on instagram and didn't actually think it was actually a real scene that they kept I thought it was just made for that specific ad but nOPE IT WAS REAL LMAO - Megatron musing over Starscream's decapitated head oh my god liSTEN MAN PUT HIM DOWN DONT BE LIKE THIS COME ON - HI CAN WE TALK ABOUT COGSMAN I LOVE COGMAN A LOT I LOVE HIM HE WAS REALLY GREAT EASILY A BIG FAVE HE WAS SO ENJOYABLE TO WATCH I love how,,, ok heck I don't know this guy very well bc I didn't watch Age of Extinction but it's the green dude with the trench coat built into him,,, Crosshairs?? I think it's Crosshairs yeah but the fact that he called him a C-3PO rip off was fUNNY MAN that also got a good laugh outta me and he totally rekt his heckin finger lmao. He was rlly short?? that surprised me kinda like from the trailers it looked like he was pretty average human sized but nope he’s super short - BEE'S DOUBLE CHEST POUND FINGER GUN "ayyy my dude" THING WAS ADORABLE THANK U - THEY ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH WITH THE WHOLE EARTH BEING UNICRON THING HOLY HECK now that,,, that was really interesting. Didn't expect that. AND the whole Nemesis Prime deal?? OP getting brainwashed?? THAT'S why he's heckin evil nO WONDER MAN GEEZ I didn't think OP would willingly do all that to the earth just because. That makes me feel a lot better actually lmao - Soundwave!! Shockwave!! u guys are famous!! wow way to go im so proud of u!!!! - Hot Rod tho,,,, , oh boy he was a mess lmao. I only really know Hot Rod through MTMTE and the 80s Transformers movie so,, , not too too much to go off of, but he just was so incredibly DIFFERENT and off-putting from what I was used to that I honestly didn't like him so much?? I mean he was alright. Grew on me a bit more as the movie went on I think. He was ok. That time warp weapon thing he had was cool tho!! nice!! seemed kinda overpowered a bit but cool!! - COGMAN SPINNING AROUND IN A CIRCLE WHILE HE WALKED THE DOG WAS ADORABLE THANK U - you know that movie trope where he background music will become like a song on the radio and then a character comes and switches it off?? YEAH THEY DID SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN THIS MOVIE WITH THE EPIC WORLD-CHANGING ORGAN MUSIC AND I JUST. COGMAN GOING HAM ON THAT ORGAN HAD ME CRYYYYYYYIIINNG HE WAS SO INTO IT MAN OH MY GO D. I LOVE COGMAN THANK U THAT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES AND IT WAS HILARIOUS GOD BLESS - HE CAN SING OPERA TOO IM CRYYYYIINNNG MAN JUST. PLEASE LET HIM HYPE UP THE MOMENT HE'S DOING HIS BEST!!!! - THE TABLE WAS WRITTEN IN OLD CYBERTRONIAN yknow if you could get Cyclonus down there he could probs read that for you no problem. Or don't actually. Please don't drag him into Bayverse oh I s2g nevermind nevermind - HEY MAN I LOVED THAT ROBOT HYDRA WOO BOY THAT WAS COOL and it's like?? a Combiner?? but not really. Burton just said the twelve knights combined into the dragon but I doubt they can all unfuse from that form lmao it was probs just a one time thing. So not a Combiner. Still cool tho. Robot dragons. SICK!!!!!! - HEY they did the whole Unicron's a planet-eating god thing this time around too wow. Neat. Listen man all I'm saying is I glad I watched TFP and bits of G1 and that 80s movie bc if not I woulda had no idea why Unicron was important lmao. That was pretty neat tho!! Interesting. Interesting. - OK BUT COGMAN LAUGHING AND SINGING "MOVE B!TCH GET OUT THE WAY" WHILE DRIVING 200 MPH DOWN THE ROAD WAS HILARIOUS WHAT A BLESSING THANK U - Surprisingly Bee seemed to be ok in that open water??? Hanging on to the side of a submarine?? I mean. Salt water man. Buddy watch out ur gonna rust plEASE BE CAREFUL

- speaking of which didn’t they say there was gonna be a submarine transformer in this movie?? like didn’t they say that in interviews before the movie came out?? I mean. We never saw that. It might’ve been that the submarine WAS a transformer but it never spoke, never transformed, nothing. Didn’t give any indication that it was uniquely Cybertronian aside from Vivian’s magic touch thing. Idk. That wasn’t explained so I mean. Hmm.

- Cogman can make sushi!! dang!! wow!!! bravo!!! - OP'S HECKIN INTERDIMENSIONAL BOOB POCKET OH MY GO D dang wish I had one of those lmao - THAT FINAL FIGHT WITH OP AND BEE THO AAAAAAAA OH MY GO S H HECKO MAN!!!! OPTIMUS RIPS OFF BEE'S DOOR WINGS MAN!!! GEEZ!!!! what I wanna know is like since when did Bumblebee have a hammer lmao. Like,, , is it supposed to the the Forge of Solus Prime?? When did he get that?? How and why?? I don't know and it was never explained but I mean. Why tho. - OH MY GOD BUT BEE'S VOICE!! IT ACTUALLY WORKED!!! DANG!! WOW BUDDY!!! AAAA!! IM GLAD HE'S OK!!! and that's all it takes to snap Optimus outta his brainwashed phase lmao ok then. Cool. Wasn’t what I expected him to sound like either but then again I really don’t know what I expected in the first place lmao - I feel a LOT better knowing Optimus didn't willingly wanna destroy the earth like. He was brainwashed. And when he snapped outta it he felt absolutely awful about what he did. I mean it felt like that whole plot point was rushed, a lot of this movie felt very rushed, but it makes me feel better at least lmao. Optimus I'm sorry man can I,,, , give u a hug or something man it rlly looks like u need a hug - "YOU CHOSE THE WRONG SIDE" OOOOOH BOY FLASHBACKS TO THAT CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR BIT IN PRI.ME(3) LMAOOOO - CADE. BUDDY. YOU CANT JUST BLOCK A SWORD LIKE THAT. THAT WAS A KILLING BLOW DEALT BY A GIANT ALIEN ROBOT I DONT CARE HOW SPECIAL THAT MEDALLION THINGY IS U CANT JUST DO THAT LMAOOOO. And then as soon as he whips that sword out the rest of the knights are like "oh wait yeah let's stop killing this guy we're chill now let's all point out swords together" lmaooooo - Crosshairs' "Love that guy. Goosebumps every time" line after Optimus gives his mandatory speech lmAO DUDE SAME - "You were by far the coolest" alright Cogman you ruined the moment a lil bit but man I still love u hecko - OK THIS IS GONNA SOUND REALLY STUPID BUT LISTEN MAN I'M GLAD THERE WAS,,,, , a lot of hand holding going on towards the end. Like fr. Cogman to dying Burton and Vivian and Cade as they were gonna jump outta that plane onto the Cybertronian tendril whatevers. Just. Small bits of physical reassurance and comfort in times of real great distress. I appreciate that a LOT more than like, watching two characters make out right before the big climactic final showdown lmao. Thank u movie wow I really didn't expect that - SO THERE WAS A COMBINER TEAM!! A COMBINER MINOTAUR!!! DANG NOT EVEN GONNA LIE THAT THING WAS NEATO!!! - Ok forget what I said about Hot Rod at the beginning he redeemed himself at the end. I didn't like him and first but now,, , now we chill. Granted I still can't see him as being HOT ROD bc he's just so different from what I know him as Rodimus but I can still appreciate him as his own character. Cool cool. - OPTIMUS RIDING THE ROBOT HYDRA INTO BATTLE AND BLOWING EVERYTHING UP WAS GREAT. MAN THAT WAS GOOD. "DID YOU FORGET WHO I AM" WOOOO BOY CHILLS MAN!!!! - OH COME ON they still made out. Lmao. Dangit. It was inevitable but I mean come on man. Alright. They kept it short and quick thank you tho if u had to put in a make out scene at least u kept it to a minimum. Thank you. Can we get back to the robots now pls. - AAAAA BUMBLEBEE'S "STING LIKE A BEE" LINE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - that ending was pretty sudden lmao. A lot of this movie was sudden and fast. They just jump cut STRAIGHT to those credits man not even an ending panorama or clean slow zoom out shot or anything lmao - AND OH BOY THEY TEASED UNICRON’S GONNA ACTUALLY COME BACK AND APPEAR IN ANOTHER MOVIE AAAAAAA OH NO OH BOY NOT AGAIN GOSH DARN IT LMAO 

All in all, surprisingly, I actually ended up kinda enjoying it!! Like it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be!! Tbh for me it might even be second best in the series!! (First being the first movie from 2008 lmao) Honestly I was really REALLY surprised at how much I didn't hate it. Like. I still dislike it to a degree because it's still Bayverse, and I probably won't watch it again unless I'm with friends (like I do with the rest of the transformers movies) but it honestly wasn't too too bad! It really exceeded my expectations as far as plot, and I wasn't hardcore cringing for most of the movie so hey that's a plus!! The movie had a lot of genuinely funny moments, especially with Cogman, which got some pretty good laughs outta me like I was really having fun at those parts!! Optimus’ absence for most of the movie didn’t sit well with me for some reason. Like it just felt strange. But it kinda had to be for the story to move forward so I guess I can forgive that lol. The pacing was REALLY whack and way too fast though. Like they were REALLY trying to cram a whole lotta stuff into a relatively short amount of time. The movie's almost two and a half hours long but it really didn't feel like that because of how fast the pacing was. Some of the dialogue felt really forced because of this issue too. It didn’t feel genuine sometimes. But that has to be like, pretty much my only specific issue with it?? surprisingly?? wow. I'm honestly super shocked lmao dang man I didn’t think I’d like this movie at all but I was very much proved wrong!! I hated those old ladies tho and their obsession to get Vivian a boyfriend and the whole innuendo thing. Yeah. No. Don't do that. Stop. I'm too ace for this. 

anyways yeah those were my thoughts sorry that was so long lmao whoops  

[jessemccowbae]

EVERYONE AT OVERWATCH IS HOT. A THESIS.

ALRIGHT KIDDOS SADDLE THE FUCK UP.

We have now officially reached the drunk enough to say shit you ort notta said part of the evening. And we have so many new people showing up, and said to myself, damn self, there are so many pretty people showing up tonight. And then I realized why: it is because LITERALLY EVERYBODY HERE IS ATTRACTIVE

I am not making this up. When objectively removing existing friendships and awkwardness and social niceties and power imbalances and general Reasons It Is A Bad Idea, I would most definitely bang everybody in this building.

So naturally before making suhc a statement I needed to double check the entire roster. And make sure I wasn't leaving somebody out or making someone feel bad. Or anything like that, because even if I didn't want to bang you all I still almost entirely like y'all and don't want to cause no hurt feelings. We're still a family and I still love you okay? But I went down the whole list and. I was right. Literally. Everybody. At Overwatch. Is like 100% bangable. Some over 100%.

For the purposes of this I am leaving Bastion and Orisa off the list. Because Orisa is a youngun and probably doesn't have a grasp on such things yet and Bastion seems to be like... three? Four maybe? Mentally? I mean given that we just had to explain porn I think there maybe issues with the concept of sex, much less consent. But it's definitely not just an omnic thing, as you will see.

So look. We're gonna go straight down the fuckin list and I will Mathematically Prove This To All Of You.

ANA. Alright, this is one of those where like I normally outside of this experiment wouldn't think about it mostly because Fareeha would murder me. But for the sake of makin' the point I will. The Captain was a fuckin' fox in her day and hasn't lost most of it. It's like 80% attitude, she could kill pretty much everyone I have ever met, but even if you base it just on looks she's got it nailed, alright? 10/10 gimme the damn time machine

HANA. I feel like I shouldn't because she is enough younger than me that it's creepy? So I will just say this: if she had been here when I was a 17-year-old recruit I would have basically tripped over my own dick trying to get her to so much as fucking glare at me. Hypercompetence is fuckin hot. */10 but teenage Jesse is like nerf me pls

GENJI. Is a hot dude. I'll just go there, alright? He is. I am also like 90% certain that some of those mechanical parts have functions that weren't in the instruction manual if you know what I'm saying, and I have watched his ass train, you would not believe the fuckin flexibility. Like if you like dudes even a little and you wouldn't fuck Genji you're lying. 11/10

HANZO. Go on and fucking laugh. Get it out of your system, I'll wait here. Okay, you done? Cause this motherfucker is carved out of fucking marble. Like I think if I punched him in the stomach I'd break my hand? And my hand is metal. Just fucking. Chiseled out of granite or some shit. Top to bottom. His face is the same too, he looks like some kinda Renaissance statue or some shit. Like even if I wouldn't bang him, which make no mistake I would, I would still want to touch him a lot to just see how he's fucking real. 13/10

JAMIE. Okay but lemme let you in on a secret. Happy fun laughing sex? Is the best sex. And if this little asshole is half as manic in bed as out you are in for a fuckin' time, alright? Plus he's tall as hell and has long ass fingers and the accent ain't bad either. Solid 8/10, probably a 10 if he could concentrate long enough to put actual effort into seduction? Either way, bring Gatorade

LUCIO. I mean, have you met this dude? He is probably the most gentle and caring and tender jackass you ever met in a bed. Will just dote the fuck all over you until you're a crying mess because you know no human can ever be that good back to him and he doesn't even care, he's just glad you're here, and then he wants to snuggle after. I mean sure, he's hot, but that's fuckin' secondary at this point. 11/10 also probably has the best sex playlist on the planet

MEI. If you have never seen Mei outside of her winter gear. Do yourself a favor. If it ever looks like she is about to take her coat off. Make sure you do not have any food or drink in your mouth. Because the first time I saw her in a t-shirt I basically snorted soda up my nose. She is a sweet and kind and wonderful darlin', make no mistake! But more prurient to the current subject her body does not even make sense. I'm shocked Winston ain't made a project of her yet because that many curves in that small a space has got to violate some laws of physics. Just... so much... EVERYTHING. All at once. Twenty pounds of bodacious in a ten pound sack. Here for it. 13/10 thighs would make excellent earmuffs

ANGIE. Okay. Look. You know all those American movies where there's this like shallow useless prop of a Gorgeous European Woman who's flirty and sexy and statuesque and golden? Now imagine they're also friggin crazy insane brilliant and like the kindest most loving person you ever met in your life and can also cook. Why do the rest of us even exist. Fuck me sideways. 11/10

FAREEHA. She is smarter than me, cooler than me, tougher than me, more educated than me, and can and has beaten me up. If you're into ladies and muscles this is your second best bet on base. And she's good at fucking everything? Which, again, I'm into, you should be too. 10/10 wear your pads

REINHARDT. Look. I'm just gonna come right out and say what we're all thinking. He's like 6'6" at least and about a yard wide at the shoulders. Even if he's just proportionally average he's still probably hung like an elephant. And hey, still got the bod after all these years, it's impressive. 11/10 I am a tall dude I've never been held up against a wall and it sounds fun

ROADHOG. You know what? Hog is a super fuckin sweet dude. I was not expecting that. But like, I got a big soft warm hug earlier just because I was drunk and sad.  And we ain't even super good friends yet. So honestly this probably goes the same way as Lucio, basically. Plus he's got big hands so hey. 10/10 why the hell not

JACK. I mean, fuck, look at him. Fuckin blond-haired blue-eyed pristine midwestern beefcake asshole. Got a fuckin' statue. You'd do him just to say you did it. 10/10

SATYA. Look, I'm normally real good at reading people and the whole aloof and mysterious thing is kinda played out? But she's working it. Like, just warm enough on occasion to reel you in a little. I dig it, very controlled, well executed. If you're into someone else taking control it's totally there. Or just insulting you, if that's your thing. And I mean, also gorgeous eyes and legs to the fuckin moon but did I even need to say that? No, no I didn't. 11/10

TORBJORN. YES I SAID EVERYBODY. Now look. Everyone wants to talk shit because Torb is small which is a fuckin disability actually, and it gives him migraines and shit and it makes everything hard and it sucks for such a good dude. But I have two points here. One: he is an engineer. I have seen him work. The level of manual dexterity is fucking astrounding. Two: He has like eighty-leven fucking kids, so he is CLEARLY doing something right. 10/10 get you some old man

LENA. Is a doll, alright? Everybody knows that. But everything I said before about happy fun sex applies here. Like yes, super cute, got it, but she's just like. Fun and happy just to be around. Lena makes everything a good fuckin time and if anything should be a good time it's fuckin', right? 11/10 maybe 12 if she brings British chocolate

WINSTON. Yeah I know. I said everybody. But like, here's the thing. There's the obvious Not A Human issues. That's weird. And weird in a way it isn't with omnics because he's a thing we normally don't view as equal but he's special and separate. So I am not gonna say this in a like, of me way.

But here's the thing. Winston is just. Good. Better than any of us, seriously. And he's the reason we all ended up back here. The reason I ended up back here when I damn well don't deserve to be. I walked away from the best thing that ever happened to me like a fuckin' idiot because I was scared and you all just. Let me back in. Like I didn't stab every damn one of you in the back when y'all needed me most.

I deserved what I had. Being alone and scratching out a meal and on the run. All I was doing was reaping what I'd sown myself and now... this. Now I'm home again and you all just act like I didn't...

And Winston gave me this. What I didn't deserve the first time around and sure as hell didn't deserve a second chance at. I owe him everything. I owe him my damn life. Winston is good and kind and amazing and wonderful and I want him to be happy and have whatever he wants, and if that includes getting laid then by God I hope he finds it.

10/10.

Anyway.

ZARYA. Holy hot damn. Like, I understand submissiveness in bed and whatnot, I may not entirely feel it but I get it. But I've never quite gotten the like, actual physical roughness thing? Until now? Because I'm pretty sure I want her to punch me. Honestly I'm suprised Lena can hold a conversation with her without choking. 11/10

ZENYATTA. Yeah yeah y'all were waiting for this weren't you. And this was gonna be a pretty standard "lol vibrating robot parts" joke but a little while ago I was snifflin' into this shot glass and he put one of those happy orbs on me? And just... guys everything is so good. I love y'all a bunch and we're all here together, an' we're doin' good an' makin the world better and it's so good. An' it don't even feel fake-good like getting drunk and forgetting your problems, which I was failin' to do earlier. Just... like there's so much good stuff already in the world an' I just couldn't see it before. Anyway what I'm sayin' is bangin' Zen might be the path to eternal enlightenment. 11/10 align my chakras baby

AND THAT. Is the thing. Is the post. That I have spent like an hour on now? But everybody here is hot and I'm surprised I can goddamn function.

[reticexce]

RETICEXCE’S RP PLOTTING CHEAT-SHEET

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

Mun name: birdie OOC Contact: instant messenger and asks ( bc im always on mobile ) or sky.pe and k.ik, if we’re close mutuals 

Who the heck is are my muse muses anyway:

alison clair: a fashion designer who used to be a prostitute and has experienced various toxic relationships in her life and still feels the effects of them even now ( self-hate, think she’s inadequate, thinks the toxic relationships are her fault in a way ). has lots of love to give, very creative and artsy, wears a lot of pastel colors and can probably make you an entire outfit if you ask her nicely. 

emile clair: ali’s twin brother ( he’s older! ) who is an overgrown boy scout but can’t go outside as much as he wants because he has an office job ( legal aid ). has a soft spot for plants, hates the other two male muses on this blog, awkward af around attractive people, hella gay but has been hiding this fact about himself for years and has only recently come to terms with it ( sort of ).

cedric privett: alison’s first boyfriend in high school; wealthy and sort of bratty but lives more humbly than people might think. is best friends with nate and teased emile for being gay in high school. verbally abusive to alison in high school. is currently a bartender who reads a lot and has to deal with drunken fights at his bar more often than he likes. will probably flirt with you muse a lot.

nate cain: a terrible person. ali’s second “boyfriend” in high school. took advantage of her in high school and her virginity. physically abused her and verbally abused emile for being gay. hates his parents because they treated him like shit and was in foster homes all of his childhood and early teen years. has bipolar II disorder. is currently djing for money and has a fucked up sleep cycle. 

Points of interest:

alison: is super nice and bubbly, loves cats and flowers, wears mostly pink, will scrapbook and take a lot of photos, will probably love your muse or grow really attached , can be super self conscious about silly things, pls take care of her.

emile: will probably invite your muse to go hiking or bird watching, loves the rain and succulents, stutters a lot when talking to strangers and does embarrassing things, is tol and can help your muse reach stuff. 

cedric: sarcastic, speaks in a proper manner, dresses like he’s all that because he can afford nice clothes, has read lots of books, will judge you on your drink choices, always looks like he’s making bedroom eyes at you probably, is fake af 

nate: looks done 97% of the time with life, replies in short sentences and in a monotonous tone, looks tired, probably never awake when you are, makes great music though and will call you out if he thinks you listen to trash, curses a lot 

What they’ve been up to recently:

alison: living day to day and trying to recover from her past. picking up a lot of hobbies and trying to keep herself busy and healthy ( though she could always use some extra help with the healthy part ). has just been assigned to work on a new fashion line with her aunt ( who owns the company ali works for ) so that’s been keeping her real busy.

emile: trying to not hate his job but it’s not working but at least his cat keeps him happy. trying to also come out of his shell more and get into the dating scene but that’s also not working as well. he’s learned a few new knots though so that’s pretty cool. 

cedric: not on the best terms with his parents but he’s gotta deal with them anyway, is co-owner of a popular bar, is trying not to remember alison and had to deal with nate’s bullshit even more now since he’s back in town 

nate: finally freed from high school and has taken a few college classes online but nothing to get a degree. really focused on making music with other collaborators and is hella enjoying the launchpad he got himself a few years ago. internally denies everything that’s happened with alison and is skipping out on therapy that he’s suppose to be going to for his condition 

Where to find them:

alison: at her office, at cafes, at fashion shows or charity events, the bar, her apartment, the park

emile: in his office at his father’s law firm, outside in park, at the farmer’s market, in his apartment, at a cafe, rarely at the bar but you can try, at marathons bc this boy likes to run, at the train station bc this boy hates to drive and cares too much about the environment 

cedric: at his bar ( the best place ), a bookstore, a restaurant or cafe, at his parents’ place, at a party his parents’ are throwing, at an office party he didn’t want to go to but got dragged into

nate: in bed, at a fast food place, at a night club or a strip club, at a bar probably getting into a fight, in an alley probably finishing that fight

Current plans:

alison: looking for more models for her clothes or for her photography hobby, sketching, trying to not skip meals, and trying to find her prince charming ( or someone to hook up with and make her feel useful and safe ). is thinking about going to school one day to become a nurse but that’ll have to wait when she has more money saved up.

emile: is also thinking about going back to school bc law is now the path for him but who knows what he’ll do ( he’s thinking history ). really determined to get back into the dating scene and meet cute people but social anxiety is an awful thing and he needs lots of patience to overcome it. really wants to get back into hiking 

cedric: taking care of nate, trying to please his parents but also trying to piss them off at the same time by having more hookups, is pretty happy with where he is in life though taking care of nate can be real draining

nate: live through the self hatred and make music to keep himself sane, currently in a stable relationship with someone so that’s always exciting. he doesn’t really do much, but he’s living so that’s good for him 

Desired interactions:

alison: more toxic relationships bc she always seems to attract people that aren’t so good for her, and i like to cause her pain, old clients or new ones since she does have a harlot verse, gal pals are the best, and ?? really difficult people?? i’ve always wanted to see how alison handles difficult people. oh and one night stands bc a girl has needs

emile: more dates, emile crushing really hard on a male muse and it’s possibly unrequited or emile just hasn’t had the guts to tell your muse yet and one day he just blurts it out, someone teaching emile how to kiss or hike up his flirting game 

cedric: be his friend and bitch about things with him, try to be his sugar baby and see how far it takes you, call him out for being so fake

nate: former one night stand coming back and trying to get involved in nate’s life even though he has a gf, someone nate got in a fight with recognizing him and trying to get a rematch, roommates au tbh 

Offered interactions:

alison: is super helpful and nice so she’s always willing to help your muse out or keep them company at like a bus stop or something. known to strike up random conversations. will offer to help fix a hole in your muse’s clothes if it ever happens ( like a wardrobe malfunction ). likes to try new foods and see new things so invite her out and have fun!!

emile: will tell you lots of stuff about his plants if you ask ( or just nature in general ), is really good at painting and wouldn’t mind helping you impress someone you like by painting you a picture and selling it to you, has really good taste in coffee and can help you find the right brew, will let you pet his cat if you’re sad. 

cedric: he’s pretty good at telling when people have had too much so he’ll shut you down real quick if you ask and he’s certain you’re shitfaced, he has a lot of good recommendations when it comes to books, he probably won’t remember you if you told him you guys slept together but you can always remind him 

nate: lmao nate never wants to come out but if you’re looking for a fight or wants someone to play video games with nate is your man 

Current open post/s:

open tag is here!! mutuals only please.

Anything else?:

hi a shy bean in central time zone. i love multiple thread with the same person and i dont mind if you send me ten memes, love me 

Tagged by: @tiivadvabadust ( indirectly! ) Tagging: idk man this was a long thing to fill out bc i had so many muses if you wanna do it then go for it and lemme see!! i would love to see!!

[dvddggs]

To the Four of Us (Part Twenty Five)

premise: modern AU chronicling the squad as they make their way through college and deal with general life things. words: 2,803 warnings: death mentions, abuse mentions, swearing, i think that’s all but pls lemme know if I forgot something! all chapters: x tags: @heythereitsloey @anitheunicorn @newyorkyoucanbeanew @lafbagxette @justafangirlwithanavy @iamgrayfox @ordinaryornate @schuylerjoon @angelica-peggy-eliza @trashyperson101 @crazydragon15 @but-if-you-had-to-choose @geespilots @marvelous-hamilfan @mynameisalexanderhammyham @panda-powers @lafeyettegunsandships @schokoobananaa @allthegoodurlshavebeentaken @aphboi @hell-yes-puns-and-ships @aham-threw-his-shot-away @hesitantcat @nonstopspook @hamrevolution @writethewayout @alexander-did-you-know @allthegoodurlshavebeentaken @sun-tree @angelizaandpeggy @isis278 @idk-destiel @engulfedinstars @hamiltrashuniverse @ahrupe @just-me-an-asshole @readfizz @skeletonmelodies @gum-and-chips @iminwaytoomanyfandoms @hadleyelizabethuley @fictionalboyfriends a/n: ur all gonna hate me lmfao bye

dedication: @sun-tree and @schokoobananaa for being like,,, art regulars??? I llove u both 

A funeral. Suits and ties and not knowing how to feel. Alexander had never been to one before, but he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to do well. As he buttoned his shirt, he watched John sit down on the hotel bed and aggressively yank on his dress pants.

John had been irritable all morning—snapping at Alexander, Hercules, and Lafayette, and only being minimally polite to George. Everyone treaded lightly; none of them were sure how to approach the situation. Even Alexander didn’t really know how John was feeling. Every time he’d attempted to pull him aside and talk to him, John would brush him off with a scowl. After that, Alexander made the executive decision to give him some space.

He had stayed quiet all day except for his attempts to speak to John. He was still thinking about his mother and how she should have had this. Why didn’t he get to dress in a suit and tie to say goodbye to her? Why didn’t he get to say goodbye at all?

After three unsuccessful attempts at tying his tie, John was left sitting on his bed grumbling swear words and aggressively wiping frustrated tears out of his eyes.

“What the fuck,” he snarled. “Why won’t it fucking tie? It’s not working. I’m so fu—”

“John! John, hey, it’s okay,” Lafayette said gently. “Let me help.”

Alexander watched him wrap the tie around his own neck, tie it, then hand it back off to John. He should have offered to help—John was his boyfriend and he knew how to tie a tie, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak. If he did, he wasn’t sure what would come out of his mouth. Scanning the room, he caught Hercules’ eye. He’d been watching Alexander for awhile, wondering what was going on in his head. Normally, Alexander would be the first one to offer calming words and support—but something was clearly wrong.

Hercules cocked his head to the side, indicating to Alexander to follow him out into the hall. No one noticed them leave.

“What’s going on with you?” he asked, spinning around to face Alexander.

“Nothing,” Alexander replied quickly, tucking in his shirt.

“Alex,” Hercules deadpanned. “Don’t lie to me. What’s the matter?”

What was he supposed to say? How could he tell Hercules that he was—what was he?—mad at John? Resentful? Jealous? Was he jealous of a funeral?

“Listen, Herc,” Alexander breathed, afraid of speaking too loud. Afraid that speaking too loud would make it real. “I’m just…I’m thinking about my mom a lot. It’s really selfish and I don’t want John to think that I’m not being supportive, so I’m staying quiet. Okay?”

Alexander wasn’t going to go into more detail than that, but it was enough to make Hercules’ expression soften a bit. He pulled his friend in for a hug that surprised Alexander.

“I’m sorry, Alex. I didn’t even think of that. I’m sure John understands.”

Understands that Alexander almost resented him at the moment? He hated to even think it—it made him feel sick that he felt this way, but he couldn’t help it. It wasn’t fair. Hercules smiled sympathetically and went back into the hotel room, leaving Alexander feeling, somehow, worse than he did before.  

A funeral. Distant relatives and sympathetic smiles. Meeting strangers and talking about the dead. An old room with happy photos. Family.

When they got to the funeral home, John left Alexander, George, Hercules, and Lafayette to seek out his brother, who was graciously accepting condolences from people he had not spoken to in years. Alexander scanned the photos around the room. Smiles, laughter, and good times that all hid the scars and bruises on John’s body. Lies.

Alexander thought about it. He would have displayed his mother’s note to him. He would have wanted everyone to know how much she loved him. How kind she was. How she deserved anything but what she got. He felt a hand on his shoulder. His father. Did he know what Alexander was thinking?

He watched as John hugged his brother tightly and joined the line of sympathy reception. With a deep sigh, Alexander took a seat on the floor in the corner of the room, waiting to be called in for the funeral to start.

Hercules strode across the room and joined him.

“Hey,” he sighed. “How are you doing?”

Alexander shrugged. “It’s not about me.”

“Alex,” Hercules replied. “It’s completely fair that you’re thinking about your mom. I mean, this must be reminding you of her fu—”

“She didn’t have one,” Alexander interrupted, louder than he intended.

“What—?”

“She didn’t get one,” he repeated, voice calculated and quieter this time. “Think about it, Herc. I was seven years old and barely knew any of my relatives. I had no money, and I came to America almost immediately after she died. I don’t even know what—what happened to her…after.”

Hercules didn’t reply—what would he have said? Alexander stood up and crossed the room, leaving him sitting alone on the old carpet.

A funeral. Full pews and empty words. Speeches. More lies.

John and his brother didn’t speak, but most of their relatives did. They talked about how Henry Laurens was a wonderful friend, brother, uncle, and was taken too soon from his poor family.

Alexander watched from the back of the room with his father, Hercules, and Lafayette. At the front, it was clear that John was crying. His shoulders were shaking, as they normally did when he cried. Alexander tried to be sympathetic and present, but he could not stop himself from overthinking.

If his mom had a funeral, it would be him in the front row. He would be alone, probably, but that would be alright. He would have made a speech, and he would have been the one crying. George would have been there—they had been friends. None of the speeches would be lies. His angel nurses would have probably been there, as well as his mother’s doctor. It would have been small. But it would have been authentic.

By the time John’s great aunt—or something—left the stage, Alexander felt like he wanted to throw up. The whole thing was so staged and fake. Could no one else see that? In a room full of people celebrating the life of an abusive alcoholic, was Alexander the only one who could see that it was bullshit? Even John—who had said that part of him wasn’t upset—was caught up in the event. He and his brother clung to each other and held their heads bowed in—respect? Mourning? Sadness?

Alexander had visions of himself standing up and just screaming in frustration. He felt absolutely trapped. Suddenly, he became very hot. His back started sweating and he was overcome with a wave of dizziness. The heat in his face seemed to show, because Lafayette leaned in to ask if he was alright.

Nodding vaguely, Alexander took a deep breath and tried to focus his eyes on something. John. He squinted ahead, praying for the dizziness to pass as he studied the outline of the back of John’s head.

It wasn’t working.

Alexander’s breathing grew shallow and he blinked a few times, hoping that something—anything—would make this feeling pass. He was overcome with emotion—anger, sadness, jealousy, helplessness—and nothing could stop the thoughts swirling in his head, screaming at him.

Why are you here? He does not deserve this. You know who did deserve this? Mom. Where is her goodbye? Why was she left to die alone in a hospital without so much as a proper goodbye? She deserved so much more than what she got. She deserved so much more than what you gave her…

Without knowing what he was doing, Alexander jumped to his feet and all but ran out of the room. In his peripheral vision he saw John turn around but he did not catch his eye. His subconscious carried him to the bathroom where he collapsed to his knees and threw up into the toilet.

The violent retching made his eyes water and before he even knew why, he was full-on sobbing.  Between whimpers, he heard the bathroom door creak open and a gentle voice call his name. His father.

George knocked on the door of the stall and Alexander groaned in response.

“Open up, Lex,” he said quietly.

Alexander drew a rattling breath and stood up, wiping his eyes on his jacket sleeve.

“I t-told you I couldn’t do this,” he gasped. As soon as he opened the door, his father pulled him into a tight hug, resting his chin on the top of Alexander’s head.

“You knew this wouldn’t be easy,” George said gently. He stroked Alexander’s hair and held him close.

“I didn’t know it would be this hard,” Alexander whispered.

“I know, kiddo…I get it—I understand.”

Alexander took a step back, a sudden anger flashing through him.

“Do you though?” he asked, tears still falling down his cheeks. “How can you possibly understand this, Dad? Wanna know something? Right now, about fifty percent of my brain is screaming at me to leave, to never talk to John again. But here I am, throwing up in the bathroom of a funeral home because I’m supposed to be supportive. Right? I’ve never felt so conflicted in my entire life. How am I supposed to support John when he’s crying over someone who actively tried to hurt him? And did hurt him. Why does this—this asshole get a tearful goodbye filled with friends and family when my mom got—what?—a hospital morgue and her son leaving her days after she died? God, that’s so fucked up. This entire thing is so fucked up. And what am I supposed to say? What am I—what can I say?”

He broke down before he could finish his thought. He knew he was being selfish. He knew that he was acting unfair, especially to John. He knew that his father didn’t want to hear it. He knew he was wrong. And yet…

“Alexander.”  

He looked up.

“I’m so sorry,” George said simply.

At his words, Alexander collapsed into his arms, unsure of anything except that he needed to cry.

“I miss her,” he sobbed into his father’s chest.

A funeral. Tearful goodbyes.

Not long after Alexander and his father returned from the bathroom, the service ended and they filed out into another room for the reception. Before long, John caught up with everyone, waving as he teetered a plate full of sandwiches on his palm.

“Hey,” Lafayette said. “How are you?”

John shrugged and offered up the plate of sandwiches. “Kinda ignoring my feelings,” he said casually.

“Wish I could have one,” Alexander scowled, bitter about the wires that still bound his teeth.

“Only one more week,” Hercules said sympathetically.

Alexander shrugged and crossed the room, looking for something that he’d be able to eat. As he walked away, he heard John murmur, “Is he okay?”

Scanning the table for something to eat—or drink—Alexander felt a tap on his shoulder. Expecting his father to be behind him, telling him to lighten up, he whipped around frustratedly.

It was John.

Right away, John noticed that something was wrong. Alexander’s eyes were red and puffy, and the circles beneath them were darker than usual. Had he been crying? When? Was that why he’d left in the middle of the service?

“Are you—?”

“I’m fine,” Alexander snapped.

He knew that he was being short with John but for some reason he couldn’t help it. Just the sight of his face up close made Alexander unjustifiably angry.

“Are you sure?” John pressed. “You’ve barely said two words to me all day…like, not even a ‘how are you.’”

Alexander almost visibly rolled his eyes.

“I said I’m fine, John.”

John sighed, reaching for Alexander’s hand. “Funerals are pretty shitty, huh?”

At those words, Alexander felt his jaw clench. He took a deep breath and shifted his gaze so he was looking John dead in the eye.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he said simply.

John took a step back, confused by the sudden aggressiveness.

“You are kidding, right? I mean, this has to be some form of sick joke. Right?”


“Lex, what are you—”

“Oh, come on, John,” Alexander continued, lowering his voice. “You can’t be serious! Are you actually this oblivious? Of course I’m not okay! All I can think about is how your shitty father doesn’t deserve any of this and how you seem to be completely ignoring that! And, no, I wouldn’t know how ‘shitty’ funerals can be, because my mother—the only person I know who’s died—didn’t fucking get one!”

“Alex—”

For every word Alexander spoke, there were a thousand different voices in his head telling him to stop. He watched John’s expression turn from confusion to sadness to anger to defeat as he began to cry, but Alexander couldn’t stop. Each sentence was an assault on John, but he couldn’t fucking stop.

“And—you know what else?—I’m pretty fucking pissed off about this. I mean—fuck—okay, I’m sorry that your dad died or whatever, but guess what, John? I know what it feels like! And unlike you, I didn't lose an abusive father who treated me like shit! And then mourn him! Do you know what that’s like to watch? How—how unfair it is? I mean—”

“—Alex, please,” John whimpered. “Please stop.”

At some point, Alexander had started crying again, silent tears that dripped off his chin as he spoke. He knew exactly what he was saying, and the impact his words had—and that was probably the worst part.

“Alexander.”

Lafayette had hurried over when he saw John start to cry. Alexander’s back had been to him so he didn't know exactly what was going on, but as he drew closer he’d heard enough.

“Shut the fuck up, will you!?” he hissed, putting an arm around John’s shoulders. “What the hell is your problem?”

Alexander breathed heavily, unable to find the words to respond. He looked between Lafayette and John—who was visibly shaken; he was crying freely and had his face buried in Lafayette’s neck.

“What’s going on?” Hercules asked, approaching the group.

No one responded.

Alexander wiped a tear off his face and folded his arms over his chest, sniffling. He studied the floor and avoided eye contact with his friends. He knew that he had possibly just fucked up his entire life, but what could he possibly say to reconcile?

“John—” he whispered, cut off by Lafayette, who glared daggers in Alexander’s direction as he turned around and led John outside.

“C’mon, Herc,” Lafayette said over his shoulder.

With a glance in Alexander’s direction, Hercules sighed and followed.

Alexander stood in place for a few minutes, replaying everything in his head. It had all happened so fast; one minute he was trying to joke about his injury then before he knew it, he had exploded all over the person he cared most about in the world.

Without thinking, he floated outside in a daze.

John was sitting on the curb between Hercules and Lafayette. His shoulders were hunched over and his friends had their arms wrapped around him.

“John—” Alexander repeated.

“Alex, you need to go,” Hercules said without taking his eyes off of John.

“John—”

“Alexander!” Lafayette all but screamed.

“You’re—an a-asshole,” John cried. “How the fuck could you say those things to me? I thought you cared.”

“I d-do—”

“No, you obviously fucking don’t, Alexander,” John said, climbing to his feet. “You don’t care about anyone but yourself. If that happens to overlap with someone else’s best interests, then great, but ultimately, you don’t give a shit. Remember when you kissed me for the first time? It wasn’t because you loved me, it was because you were bored as fuck with Thomas! And how about when you actually left Thomas for me? Because you were done with him! You wanted more! He wouldn’t have sex, so why stay with him, right? Why not find someone else that will? Am I wrong?”

“John—”

“Shut up. Shut up! Do you even realize the things you just said to me? And here you are about to beg for forgiveness because now you feel bad. Because it doesn’t feel good for poor Alexander. This isn’t even about me! You are here for your own sake—and don’t you fucking dare try to tell me otherwise, because I’m not stupid.”

“Jo—”

“Stop saying my fucking name.”

“But—”

“I’m done.”

“W-what do you mean?”

“I mean exactly what I just said. I’m done.”

“John—?”

“We’re done.”

A funeral. An end.

[survivorwakea]

Episode 11: “Can we bounce back? Probs not tbh.” - Lily

Well I might as well be voted out now. Ain’t nobody want me to win and I’m playing a fool’s game. Asya shout out to you tho queen, love you icon. I honestly don’t care who goes at this point I’d rather make it one more round so I can at least get 7th. Whoever said I was being dragged, tbh you ain’t wrong. Can we bounce back? Probs not tbh.

so... things r quiet once again. I think ive landed myself in the minority once again! I believe that i could be targeted but the bad thing is that im v busy tomorrow and needto wake up early so i cant attend tribal... its currently 11:25 pm, im probably sleeping in like few minutes and then wake up at 4 am just to vote but we'll see.

i dont want to get 8th. its such an ugly placement pls pls pls not

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i am worried. i can sense a blindside coming. i am not sure if its coming to me or my allies but this is way too good to be true... im def considering playing my idol this round. either i am successful or then i look like a clown and waste my idol at f8 like zachary <3

shout out .

Yeehaw I've heard I'm the target again. Do these people know that an easier way to talk me down would be to get rid of my allies first? because they've not really attempted that it mostly feels like they've gone quite hard for me. Watch me get a vote at every tribal council until FTC and then not get a single vote again

another round copy/pasting what i threw in my host chat LMAO

okay so basically jared and i are playing the other side really hard to get them to think that the vote is on chloe, but that really jared lily and i wanna vote for bodhi and then jared is getting them to "lie to me" and vote for lily so im pretty sure they're going to be voting for lily thinking jared is voting with them and that lily and i are voting for bodhi when in all actuality me lily bodhi asya jared are voting for zack and PRAYING we can blindside the fuck out of him with the idol in his pocket bc they've gotta have 2 there's two that have been in play at one point or another that are unaccounted for and jared and bodhi STILL think anabel was the leak during the split vote round, when it was me, so im going to have that to claim above anything else at FTC so we'll see what happens this round im feeling kinda confident that we can finally get out zack, but it's going to be pretty tough because those three are smart and i dont think they believe a damn word any of us say, but jared and i have been talking to all of them throughout the entire merge, so I do feel like we've got a decent shot at playing this off well post tribal I kinda wanna just start winning challenges and using those to make power moves i do think the ONLY THING that comes away from this is that if zack goes home this round, and I hammer hard that I want to vote for bodhi this round, and don't, it's going to be hard to convince them that i genuinely want to vote for bodhi next round bc i feel they won't believe me but we'll see because if zack does go here, i really do want bodhi to go out next, but it's just a really tough field to play right now because there's so much lying and im trying to keep up with all of my lies, JUST to finally take out someone from that side successfully that i deem the biggest threat to win and then there's my relationship with elmo that i feel is going to help me legitimately get to the end of the game here, and if those three actually do end up voting for lily, then I feel we'll both be apologizing to each other post tribal, BUT I'm curious when Elmo wakes up if he's going to tell me that those guys are voting for lily and they're trying to keep me out of it, because if he does, that's going to show me a lot about elmo and my true relationship, and if he keeps me out of the loop on that and lies to me again, then im not going to feel super compelled to save him again in the future like i feel i did this round

Trust List 4.0:

1. Asya 2. Bodhi 3. Lily 4. Johnny 5. Chloe 6. Elmo 7. Zack

Today has been one of the most intense rounds, between playing damage control on Lily and Johnny, and playing a full defensive blindside on Zack.

Convinced Asya and Bodhi to be okay with Zack being the target instead of Elmo. Created multiple fake narratives for the minority to bite on. I CAN FEEL THE MIST IN MY VEINS! Ya. I also got to the end of the idol bridge but it was already found.

Right now I would feel comfortable going to the end with Asya and Bodhi or Lily. That's the goal.

95% sure Zack is going home this round. 5% sure of it being a Bodhi blindside.

Peace out! ✌

me: it’s my birthday and i’m on the road for 7 hours so i may not be here much chloe: answer my pms or i’m reaching for the arsenic

honestly will this game ever stop having crackhead energy? everyday it's another crackhead going crazy.. a day off would be LOVELY to vacation away from these crackheads. (ff to me getting the boot tonight and vacationing on ponderosa.) but lets talk bout last round real quick.... i took a huge ass risk not using my idol when i knew i was getting votes. i just had to take a risk and pray for the best and thats what i did and my gut was right. do i take another risk tonight? i guess we'll wait and see. everything this round is all over the place, but what else is new? lemme try and sum it up for you but i KNOW this is gonna come out confusing as fuck.

jared-  he wants to do lily but he also said he'll do bodhi. do i think he'll do bodhi? no because i think they're really close. so i told him i would prefer to do lily just so he doesn't go and tell bodhi i want him out. but i would much rather do bodhi.

johnny- wants to do bodhi but thinks me elmo and chloe wanna do lily but we don't. also had no idea lily was even on the chopping block till i told him. but i trust telling him i wanna do bodhi.

asya- told chloe she's getting votes but doesn't think she's going home and thinks people are gonna vote for elmo.

me chloe and elmo- wanna vote out bodhi but telling jared we'll do lily but telling johnny we'll do bodhi and hoping none of it comes around to either of them that we're being snakes.

get my drift? do you understand? because i don't.

my plan is this... telling jared that i'm willing to vote out lily so i'm not the one coming off as wanting to be the one to vote out bodhi because i know they're close and i don't want tp get targeted this round because i want bodhi gone because i think jared will just tell bodhi i said his name. like they're kinda looking for someone to vote out right now so hopefully they'll go after elmo if he says bodhi and not me. everything seems ot be all over the place, lies are starting to get spilled... do i use my idol tonight JUST to make sure i'm safe because this vote can go literally anywhere? i'm gonna have you sit and wait...

and if i don't use my idol tonight and i wind up leaving.. i just wanna apologize for all the spelling mistakes i've made in all my confessionals. and i'm sorry if i'm still here next week and the spelling mistakes continue.

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i could also be totally wrong about EVERYTHING and might totally be overthinking everything as usual.. but like i've said in previous confessionals.. this whole game has been built on nothing but lies. it seems like jury management doesn't exist and we all just wanna lie to each other and stab each other in the back for fun. lying is a hobby in celestial. we lie for fun in celestial. backstabbing in celestial for no reason? sign me up! jury management doesn't exist in this game.. everyone is just out for blood in malicious ways and we all have no problem lying straight to each other's faces. it's so cracked and it's so hard to figure out whats the truth and this has been the most stressful game i have ever played. but don't get it wrong.. i'm here to fight and i'm here to put that knife in your back and lie straight to your face every single round.

It feels as though this has a bigger chance to go wrong than I let on in my first confessional, so I just want it to be on the record that I am indeed uneasy at 8:46 PM EST on Day 28.

just want on the record that i am uneasy about this vote

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Zack is voted out 5-3. He becomes the fifth member of the jury.