#this scene was too funny and cute to me to NOT draw. you’re telling me Charon just full on tackled Ladybird and kissed them like *that*???

[landfilloftrash]

[*tastes like blood, coffee, and whiskey]

[gyorouis]

── ✦ december.

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚 ˚⋆ synopsis⸝⸝ wrap me all up and take me home with you

꒰ genre⸝⸝ romance, enemies-to-lovers, slow burn pairing⸝⸝ jock!taehyun x afab!reader wc⸝⸝ 1.4k warning⸝⸝ mutual pinning, suggestive theme, they‘re both competitive, my never-ending ETL tyun agena tune in⸝⸝ ariana grande — december ୨ৎ ꒱

“don’t tell me you’re planning to charm the entire room tonight,” beomgyu teased, nudging taehyun as they stepped into the grand ballroom.

the university’s annual winter gala was in full swing, the grand ballroom alive with the soft glow of chandeliers and the hum of conversations layered over upbeat music. students mingled in their best attire, and taehyun, ever the picture of perfection, was in his element. as the captain of the football team and the campus golden boy, he had an image to maintain: polished, composed, and entirely unbothered.

adjusting his tie with a practiced nonchalance, he surveyed the scene. the decorations were immaculate (because, of course, he’d overseen them), and everything was running smoothly. it was the kind of night that should’ve been effortless for him—another event to cement his status as untouchable.

and then, he saw you.

you were standing by the dessert table, laughing with your friends, your eyes bright and your smile infectious. you weren’t just pretty—you were radiant, the kind of radiant that made the air shift. the sight of you knocked the wind out of his carefully crafted cool.

taehyun’s jaw tightened. he wasn’t new to seeing you. as the captain of the cheer dance team, you were his rival in more ways than one. your rivalry was campus legend: the cheer squad versus the football team, each determined to outshine the other at every game and event. but tonight, something about you felt different. you weren’t just his rival anymore—you were a distraction, a complication he hadn’t prepared for.

still, taehyun wasn’t one to back down.

he approached you with the same swagger that made half the campus swoon, his voice dripping with that signature competitive edge. “well, well,” he drawled, “didn’t think you’d show up. thought you’d be too busy choreographing another routine to one-up us.”

you turned to face him, arching an eyebrow, and he swore the room tilted for a second. “and miss a chance to see you strut around like you own the place? never.”

his lips curved into a smirk, the kind that usually had people eating out of his hand. “funny. i was about to say the same thing about you.”

“cute,” you shot back, taking a deliberate sip of your drink. “but don’t flatter yourself, taehyun. not everything’s about you.”

“sure it’s not,” he teased, leaning casually against the table, his eyes never leaving yours. “so, who dragged you here? or did you actually want to come?”

you crossed your arms, the movement drawing his attention in ways he didn’t want to admit. “not that it’s any of your business, but i’m here because i earned it. unlike you, i don’t need a title to prove my worth.”

his grin widened, the playful challenge in your tone sparking something dangerous in him. “ouch,” he said, clutching his chest in mock pain. “you’ve been saving that one, haven’t you?”

“maybe,” you said, the corners of your lips twitching into a reluctant smile.

as the night went on, it seemed like fate—or maybe something more deliberate—kept throwing the two of you together.

“you’re following me,” you accused after the third time your paths crossed.

“hardly,” he replied, his expression all mock innocence. “this is my event, remember? you’re just conveniently always in my way.”

“oh, please. i was here first.”

he tilted his head, his smirk deepening. “you were here first? wow. didn’t know they gave awards for that.”

you rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop the laugh that slipped out.

later, you found yourself on the balcony, escaping the noise and the heat of the ballroom. the december air was sharp against your skin, but the quiet was worth it.

you weren’t alone for long.

“escaping already?”

you turned to see taehyun leaning against the doorway, his blazer draped over one shoulder. the way the cold moonlight caught on the sharp lines of his face made your breath hitch, though you’d die before admitting it.

“what do you want?” you asked, your voice more tired than hostile.

“nothing,” he said, stepping closer, his footsteps soft against the stone. “just figured you’d be out here. you always seem to need a breather after a big event.”

you frowned, caught off guard. “how do you even know that?”

he shrugged, a small, almost shy smile tugging at his lips. “i pay attention.”

his words hung in the air, heavy with meaning.

you turned back to the railing, your grip tightening against the cold metal. “so what? you came out here to gloat?”

“no,” he said simply, leaning beside you. his shoulder brushed yours, and the contact sent an uninvited shiver down your spine. “i came out here because... well, it’s not every day i get to see you like this.”

“like what?” you asked, your voice quieter now.

“like... stunning,” he admitted, the word barely above a whisper.

your heart skipped, but you refused to let him see the effect he had on you. “don’t get used to it.”

“too late,” he said, his tone soft but sure.

the mistletoe was an accident.

you were brushing past him on your way back into the ballroom when someone shouted, “hey, mistletoe alert!”

you froze, as did he, both of you glancing up at the offending sprig of green hanging above your heads.

“seriously?” you muttered, already feeling the heat of the crowd’s eyes on you.

taehyun’s smirk returned, but there was something else in his gaze now, something deeper. “rules are rules,” he said, his voice lower than usual.

“you’re insufferable,” you shot back, though your voice lacked its usual venom.

“and yet, here we are,” he replied, stepping closer, his breath warm against your cheek.

the kiss wasn’t just a kiss. it was heat and tension and something unspoken that neither of you had the courage to name. his lips were soft but firm, and when he pulled back, his eyes lingered on yours, dark and unreadable.

“merry christmas,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

your heart raced, your pulse pounding in your ears. “don’t think this means you’ve won,” you said, your voice steadier than you felt.

“oh, i know,” he said, his grin returning, though softer now. “but it’s a good start.”

gyo's note: just my never ending enemies to lovers agenda on tyun 🤓 hahahaha i just LOVEEEE tyun on ETL trope sm! and it shows on the stories i wrote for him eheee, anyway if you made it this far, thank you! (,,>﹏<,,) you will be loved, xoxo!

✮ 2024 gyozies, all rights reserved.

[princessbrunette]

toxicex!rafe telling all boys that your off limits and you finally confront him but he just acts confused and oblivious 😑

｡˚.𖧧 🐩🥛🤍 𖧧.˚｡

trying to flirt with the guy you usually flirt with but he’s acting all different, barely looking you in the eye and awkwardly shuffling away.

“why are you acting like that?” you pout, all rejected and downtrodden.

“look, sweetheart. just don’t wanna get my ass beat. you didn’t hear this from me but that ex boyfriend of yours is fucking insane. showed up to my place waving a gun around and everything. you’re cute but it ain’t worth my life. sorry.”

you’re mortified, coming to the harrowing realisation of why seemingly every guy on this side of the island had been avoiding you. you spot rafe at the country club bar the next night, harnessing a drink in a short glass and you march over — all dramatic with your bracelets jangling and shoes clacking.

“you’re scaring everyone off, rafe? that’s what we’re doing now?” you command, staring up at him with that frown he thinks is just adorable.

“hello to you too.” he drawls with a smirk, bringing his glass to his lips.

“its not funny, rafe. you can’t do that!”

“i have no idea what you’re talkin’ about, alright? go run along n’find your girlfriends. no need to make a scene like you always do.”

“me? make a scene? you’re the one waving a gun around. you don’t own me anymore rafe you can’t —”

“hey.” he barks suddenly before pressing his lips together in irritation, drawing in a few ragged breaths as he looks around, leaning down to your level. “you watch that mouth, yeah? you’re mine. okay? all of this?” he gestures to your body, stepping closer. “mine. this? this fuckin’ thing right here?” he closes in more, a large hand cupping under your skirt to grab a hold of your pussy. as much as you clench, and yearn for his touch in that very spot — the anger at the audacity wins and you shove him off, pushing at his firm chest which barely moves him, yet he backs off anyway with a boyish laugh.

“dont touch me.” you huff, prissy and pouty as you adjust your bag on your shoulder and stick your chin in the air determinedly. he huffs out a chuckle, shaking his head as he raises his glass to take another sip.

“yeah well, good luck gettin’ any other sucker to touch you. told everyone you’re off limits.” he takes his sip, licking over his moistened lips afterwards which he obviously notices you drop your eyes to. god, he’s smug. “mm. you’ll be back m’sure, when you want some dick.”

you’ve had enough, feeling all hot and bothered because not only is he pissing you off but he’s turning you on and the whole thing is just too much. you storm off and he follows you with his eyes, arrogant smirk on his face as he tongues at his cheek, watching your ass in that little skirt. “nice to see you, sweetheart.” he calls after you, and you ignore him.

｡˚.𖧧 🐩🥛🤍 𖧧.˚｡

[onsunnyside]

thinking of JJ teaching you how to kiss 🥺 starting off with little pecks that slowly drag into short kisses. you try hard to follow his lead, but your inexperience is so painfully obvious 😖

this drabble has been turned into a fic 😋 here’s the masterlist: what friends are for

allow me to set the scene: it’s movie night at the chateau, beers and snacks litter the floor, everyone is tucked under blankets as the opening credits flicker on the television screen.

as the marathon went on, JJ couldn’t help but notice that you’d look away during the sex scenes. as your best friend, he knew you weren’t the most experienced, but kissing? “You’ve never been kissed?”

You cover your face, embarrassment flooding in. “You don’t have to say it like that!”

“I’m not—I’m not teasing.” His smile says different. He easily pulls your hands away from your face, “it’s just not what I was expecting.”

“I know, I know. You probably find it so funny.” You huff and roll your eyes, “laugh all you want, jerk.”

And like you expected, he does but quickly apologizes. “Sorry, sorry. Okay, maybe it’s a little funny. But not in a bad way! It’s actually cute.”

Cute?

“It’s adorable.” He coos, pinching your cheek, “itty bitty baby hasn’t had her first kiss… not even with that poster in your bedroom?”

ooohh and when he kisses you: it’s so sweet, so tender. he tastes like beer and a bit of weed, and his lips are softer than they look. he’s slow and steady, pressing his forehead against yours while you take a break.

“You can breathe while we kiss.” He chuckles, nudging your nose with his, “don’t want you passing out on me, sunshine.”

One of his hands slip behind your neck and the other falls to your thigh, warm and gentle. “Do you want to stop?”

You glance at your friends, still passed out on the floor and other couches, the movie playing dully in the background. “No?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?”

“No.” You repeat, firmer this time. “I don’t want to stop. Pl-Please don’t stop.”

How could JJ deny you? Especially when you ask so dreamily with that glazed look in your eyes. He fights the urge to pull you into his lap and touch you all over, and make you into a pretty mess. So he connects your lips again, taking the lead and slipping his tongue into your mouth.

The unmistakable wet noises make you a little tingly 😖 along with him tilting your head to kiss you deeper. “You can touch me too,” he murmurs, bringing your hand to the back of his neck, your fingers automatically curl in his blond hair and draw a low groan from his throat.

That’s when you go completely dumb, totally thoughtless, all concerns flying out of your mind and joining the blue birds above your heads.

JJ pulls away, voice raspy, “you keep forgetting to breathe, baby.”

“I’m sorry,” you exhale heavily, heart fluttering in your chest. “I’m not good at this yet.”

His lips trail to your jaw, the movie long forgotten, “It’s okay, we have lots of time to practice.”

I just know he’d offer to teach you other things too, all in the realm of pleasure and intimacy 😌

some over the clothes touching, getting hot and heavy in your bedroom after he sneaked in through the window:

“You gotta keep quiet, baby,” he coos, rubbing your swollen clit through your panties, your juices soaking the poor cotton, “I know it feels good, feels real nice when I play with your pretty pussy, huh?” He can only imagine how you’d taste, “Are you paying attention? You’re gonna have to show me what you learnt after we’re done.”

[tojiscrack]

Omg lol this is my first time interacting with anyone on Tumblr since I just joined, but I've been a BIG fan of liar liar since chapter...5? Not as in I didn't like the first ones, just that I also only joined ao3 kinda recently :)

I am ABSELOUTY OBSESSED with LL, like the way that the chatacters have bits of canon in them? Their relationships with yn? Porcupines relationship with yn?! Mercupine?! Amazing. Chefs kiss.

It's my literal favourite fanfic buuuut it's tying with a few others because I'm really bad at deciding. BUT ITS SO GOOD AHDKSKJSKDK.

Is it bad that I kinda ship mermotionless 😑🧜‍♀️? Obviously it's not better than mercupine, but kamo with Eren Jaegers hair?! 😍🤤 100% would date. But he's getting in the way of mercupine so...😡

Gah I've spent wayyy too long wondering what's going to happen wen the angst starts angsting but I'm a BIT of a delulu girly so my theories end up spiralling out of control. 😅

Ok but I feel like as kamo and yn spend more time together, yn gradually likes him, and they date. And our lovely little porcupine isn't exactly great woth figuring out his feelings until now (except for that one chapter where (correct me if I'm wrong) he hugs yn and gojo teases him about it? Idk) but obviously he does NOT like kamo, and mermotionless?! He would go into a coma.

SO then porcupine(yes that's all I refer to him as) is like 'ohhh I like yn. Damn.' and he hates kamo even MORE and because yn is dating kamo, it gets a bit awkward between porcupine and her 😭😢. So theyr gradually stop being friends but I feel like yn would NOT do that she'd be acting normal while porcupine is all awkward and moody and angry whatever. And THIS IS WHERE OT GETS DELULU OK. Ok maybe not that delulu bit still.

THEN yn confronts porcupine because he's acting weirdly, even for him. And ofc she doesn't know why she's way too clueless 😮‍💨. And porcupine gets all angry because she doesn't realise why, and they get into a fight and stop being friends😭😭😭😭😭. BUT mermotionless BREAKUP for reasons I have not come up with yet and then ✨MERCUPINE✨

aha anyways stop I literally love Malakai (kai) so much argh I just wanna put him in the pocket of my black jumper and give him a little black blanket and run away he's so cute 🥰. The Malakai (kai) ships are interesting 🤔 but funny nonetheless.

And gojo fathering? I literally die laughing anytime I imagine yn on gojos shoulders with the faceapp on porcupine on her poster😭😂😂.

Urgh I would totally draw some LL related stuff but I need to study for my test tmr (I'm cooked) and I have a big drawing project. I probably won't start with mercupine tho, I'm a bit afraid of messing up their personalities 😅. But I just have the overwhelming urge to draw maki and Mai when they were kids in their little puffer jackets (pls tell me this actually happened and I'm not schitzofrenic) and I CANT FIND THAT SCENE I'm genuinely concerned that I'm just making things up in my mind

Also lol, im a big c.ai user (not on a freaky way) but would it be ok if I made some bots from LL? I think I'll keep them on private or only used with the link, but I just really love all the characters. I wouldn't copy paste ofc but I'd probably keep the dialogue the same :) and if I do decide to make them available with the like I'll probably (definitely) share with you:)

I swear I had more to talk about... let me think 😖 nvm I can't think of it 😭 OH WAIT I REMEMBER ahhhh good luck with your uh, uh, whatever exams you were studying for i can't remember 😭

I'll be waiting for the next chapter good luck 🤞🙂🧜‍♀️🦔😈😈

i lowkey have a headache so i’m reading and responding to this as fast as i can, i apologise if i sound like i’m slowly desiccating 💀

i’m glad you’re enjoying the story so far! <3 mercupine’s relationship is one i took great care to get down as accurately as i could imagine megumi being in an almost-relationship, kinda 😭

it is nawtttt bad that you lowkey ship mermotionless. you’re not with the 2% of the LL readers who like them together 😀

being delulu is literally the solulu in this area 😋 nothing is impossible here we literally have 100% of the characters living their best lives in this verse

i read that whole prediction/theory with a blank face 😭 no one’s gone that far in their prediction before! like usually it’s a small scene they predict, or a small prompt, not an entire storyline hahaaa

we’ll see how right or wrong you are tho 👀

you’re also the second kai lover i’ve seen 😋

putting him in a pocket would be difficult ‘cause he’d put up a dramatic fight about it. the black blanket might work tho… good thinking 😭👍🏽

gojo fathering is my fav thing in the world tooooo, like i love that man sm and i love his canon-relationships with his students. i just tweaked it so he’s more like a father to them than just a teacher, but we won’t rinse the idea out, otherwise it’ll just get overbearing and that is the LAST thing we want 😭

girl study for ur examssss, don’t stay up reading LL. i’d die inside if someone failed ‘cause of me 😤

and you can absolutely make bots on c.ai from LL! i think that’d be super cool!

you’re not schizophrenic, there was a scene with maki and mai as kids in their puffer jackets. check elementary school, the scene where mc’s mum is taking them and megumi and y/n to school <3

[radioiaci]

Wanted to answer all the nice things I was given in one post, so find them under the read-more cuz it's long. <3

@radiiosugars ⧐ you are a wonderful writer and i enjoy seeing your portrayal! I smile when you're on my dash <3 the little details you include with his perspective really do paint a picture! (and i hope your day gets better! )

WEH THANK YOU SO MUCH SALT, you're a blessing and I wholeheartedly appreciate whenever you spam me on Discord with SILLIES even though I don't always have the capacity to respond right away fjkdjgjdg I LOVE YOUR PORTRAYAL AND YOUR ART TOO and thank you for the kindness 😭

@copaceticjillybean ⧐ You are��soooo good at stuff! Your Alastor portrayal, your art, it’s all just really really cool! I’m always so excited, when I see you post your animatics, or a new drawing, or a reply, because I know it’s gonna brighten up my day a bit! ; I know you’re having a hard time today, but I just wanted you to know that I think you’re really neat and good at what you do. ^w^ ; Oh, and I almost forgot- you’re also just FUN. Like, your ooc posts are just cute and funny, and I like seeing you pop on and tell us what you’re thinking. You’re easy to talk to, and that means a lot, especially for someone like me who can get nervous talking with people >u<;

AAAA THANK YOU, I really do try to be as approachable as possible given the type of person that I am, so I really don't want anyone to feel like they CAN'T talk to me. sometimes the RPC can feel really limited and exclusive and I like to change that in whatever way I can. you are always very kind and fun to write with as well AND I CAN'T WAIT to see what sort of sillies Alastor and Jillian can get up to

@helluvaflames ⧐ I love the way you write Alastor and I'm still loving writing Fizzarolli and him in these scenes. You write Alastor so well and its been so fun to get to know him through our threads!

YES THANK YOU YOU GET ME, I love writin' with your lil Fizzy too! I'm also excited for Alastor and Angel's "date" LOL I'm sure there will be RIDICULOUSNESS there, just knowing how they generally interact. Thank you for putting up with me and my silly deer boy!!

@tinyfieryghost ⧐ YOUR ART IS SIMPLY INCREDIBLE. I love how you draw Alastor and writing with you is always a pleasure! I also love how you write Alastor! Silly guy who can and will murder and maim!!! Also you're great to talk to in general!

LISTEN YOU, YOUR ART IS ALSO PHENOMENAL and I didn't think I genuinely would get as invested into Alastor/Ghost's relationship but him in my brain was just like? ? ? ? "this one is mine? ? ?? actually???" so I MEAN IT JUST HAPPENED THAT WAY and I'm not mad about it. I'M EXCITED for Al's encounter with Reaper fr fr and I love writing with you!!!

@visage-of-hell ⧐ *violently kicks in the door* DID SOMEONE SAY POSITIVITY???? ; Bitch, you're one of the most TALENTED fuckers I know on this site. Amazing writing style? Check. Brilliant character portrayal? Check. AND knock-your-socks-off gorgeous artistic skills to boot???? Dude, you are a triple threat of sheer creative genius--don't you DARE be doubting that for even a second!

WUH HUH BUH LISTEN you are ALSO very talented and I VERY MUCH love writing with Al and Vis together because they're a real ENEMY TO LOVER ARC MAYBE? AND I KNOW IT'S SLOW MOVING BECAUSE ALASTOR IS STUPID but I LOVE IT ALSO??? Thank you my friend, I love to talk with you too and share funny sillies and fawn over them being so STUPID

@damnedrainbows ⧐ //you’re one of my favorite alastors and truthfully I admired from the sidelines for a while because I felt inadequate hehehehe I can!t wait to interact with our muses more and see where it go for him and lucifer ; also forgot to tack on, amazing artist ; like seriously I link my friends your art all the time on discord lol

WHAT???? ONE OF UR FAVS???? STOPPIT. That always means a ton to me, especially because I know how many TALENTED and wonderful writers there are playing Alastor out there so that RLY MAKES ME FEEL GOOD AND VALUED and YOUR writing is also fantastic! Al/Lucifer's first thread is so weirdly deep after starting off as like almost a meme and I'm LIVING for it LOL. AND I'M GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART LMAO maybe some day I'll draw something like actual serious for people to share jgdljgd but I enjoy drawing shitpost Al too much BUT THANK YOU this means a lot.

@lilitophidian ⧐ HEEEEY YOU, I LOVE YOUR LITTLE DEER, AND WE GOT SOME DOPE ASS SHIT GOING ON LIKE??? your writing is so fucking good I wanna do more threads with you at some point even though I have verbal diarrhea ; BUT YOU DESERVE THE BEST LIKE I TAKE TIME ON MY REPLIES TO YOU SO THEY ARE GOOD EATS??? Like, let me love on ya!!! ; Also your art ; I'd tattoo the pink dress wearing Alastor on my body fr

MY LIL DEER BOY YES I'M SO EXCITED for him to be.... tortured... mercilessly (that sounds bad LMAO) but LISTEN we are both wordy and I do NOT hate that one bit, I EAT IT UP YUMYUM gimmi all that good good exposition and artsy prose I LOVE that shit and you do it SO WELL. Also thank you for recommending frilly pink dress Alastor, I think he will never live that one down LMAO.

@ducktastic-dad ⧐ you are SO funny and sweet pascall, i love writing with you ( and your writing is amazing obviously i cannot live without it ) but even just our conversations ooc bring me lots of joy !! you have fantastic art and i am FLOORED by how creative you are ! thank you for making me funny shitposts and indulging my horrible brainrot 😭💜

I'M GRABBING YOU AND SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS listen the fact that you have put up with my dumbass over the last few weeks just constantly spamming you with radioapple shit means that you should get some type of AWARD HONESTLY. every IC interaction we have is so good and whenever you reply I'm like *VACCUUM NOISES* as i ABSORB IT. YOU're the one indulging MY horrible brainrot and u know what there's something beautiful about that. THANK YOU ily ily

--------------

Thank you all for such kind words, it really did make me feel better about my poopy day. <3

[valleynix]

I finished the chapter, you're killing me with all the fluff. I almost turned into ashes because of the overwhelming amount of warmth this whole thing was.

This is so funny to me that Reader is so afraid Dimitrescus will be scared/won't love them because of the mutation like they ain't mutated themselves like the sisters ain't a bunch of flesh eating fly mutants with a mama that can turn into a freaking dragon and they think Dimis would be scared of some wings or few additional eyes 😭

“I’m… doing just fine on my own, handling everything on my own.”

Bestie you clearly don't, be for real 😭

“You were right. I’m not her(…)"

“You are quite similar…”

AND THAT'S SUS

Bela is adorable indeed please, the transition from confident to shy blushing mess is killing me.

Daniela would have a free pass for terrorising me any time she wants.

"You think you see the flickering form of that lunatic walking in a circle around Daniela, almost watching her… curiously?"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA (just a lot of screaming) IN MY HEAD THIS IS THE BEGGING OF THEM GETTING SOFT FOR DANIELA IDC

"Before you know it, her hand smacks the side of your head hard"

Deserved

I'm a mess because of the cuteness of the whole scene with Bela, Cass and Dani. How to use words???? I be just giggling.

YOU TELLING ME BELA AND CASS FINALLY HAD A DECENT CONVERSATION AND BELA IS WORRIED SHE'S A BAD SIS AND SHE... SHE, SHE COMPLIMENTED CASSANDRA'S DRAWINGS OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUUUUUUCH. IT WAS SO SWEET PLEASE BELA CAN YOU APPRECIATE YOUR SIS MORE OFTEN. I love this moment so much.

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THEM GETTING THE FLOWER CROWNS AND KISSES FROM DANI AAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE WHEN THEY'RE ALL SWEET AND ALL WITH EACH OTHET NIX WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME GOOD BYE

“A high concentration of virgin blood makes me a little feral, as you said, but everything else makes me drunk"

What does virgin blood mean in this tho and how is she able to tell the difference. This concept was alway so weird to me. Like is she really able to tell the difference in taste somehow? She just likes her food un-fucked by a man/in general? Why does it matter so much, what's the science behind it?😭

"These women are vile. They are nothing like the ones you know and have come to adore, and you think you’re beginning to understand why your copy doesn’t like spending much time with them"

Damn Lunatic and Reader really are living in such different environments, surrounded by much different people. And it really makes me sad for them :(

No one is giving Lunatic any love or even the simplest affection. Not without a price that is as Miranda may give them a head pat or sth but only if they earn it somehow.

The character is tragic to me, their case. Like, they probably could be so much different if only they were surrounded by people like from Reader's world :(

That's also why I want so bad for Lunatic to experience something nice and unconditional for once in their life with the fluff ball Reader's Dani is 😭

Lastly, I adore how this chapter and the whole work is so full of kisses and simple affection in general. Everyone is getting forehead kisses left and right and I live for that.

Despite the angst it's still so warm and fuzzy, please, might me my comfort fic even with all the bloody events.

I love how each pair goes their own way and has their own pace but all of them do those sweet little things and bond together and have nice intimate moments and it's not banging every five seconds.

Also the Dimitrescus and their bond honestly might be my fav part of it all😭 I adore how they'd protect each other at all cost, their little fights and all the soft moments. I love my platonic/family bonds too, I wish people would explore it more rather than write them doing all sorts of messed up stuff, can't they just let them cuddle or sth 😭

HEHEHEHE, i saw the notification pop up about this ask and just went !!!!!

*Reader: "but what if you don't love me the same if you saw my mutation? :(" // literally any of the Dimis: "...did you forget who we are-"

*Reader try not to lie challenge (impossible)

*SHE DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BAD BY THIS I PROMISE

*Bela is literally the epitome of confidence and authority but loses it so quickly when someone is nice to her. pls i love her

*Daniela could "terrorize" me all she wants, i'd have 0 complaints

*sometimes you just need a hard lil smack to get some sense back in your head <3

*PLEASE I WAS SO WORRIED THIS SCENE WITH BELA AND CASS TALKING WAS OOC, BUT IDC IT NEEDED TO BE DONE. CASS NEEDS TO KNOW BELA LOVES HER AND IS GOING TO TRY BEING A BETTER SISTER

*also i literally debated for a while if i should even add in Dani giving them kisses on the cheek 😭 like i know this fandom gets kind of weird sometimes and i was afraid someone would take that not platonically and i'd have to throw hands, BUT I COULDNT STOP SMILING WHEN I WAS WRITING IT PLS, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

*i think virgin blood is just more "pure"? and since they feed on it often, they can tell the difference between virgin blood and non-virgin blood. i literally don't know the science behind it because virginity is like a social construct (i think?) but i assume it's something like that. i might have to go research it to be sure-

*it's been interesting to write Lunatic as this horrible, cruel person in the beginning who we assume is just Like That, only to eventually see all the little pieces that make them who they are. like, yeah, copies are horrible versions of the real ones, but it's obvious they're capable of change and only remain this way because of the environment(s) they're in

i mean, their Dimis obviously hold very little to no love for one another, and being around that dynamic alone is bound to make them a bit bitter and cruel to anyone else because they're not surrounded by any sort of love. and when they're not trapped in the megamycete, they're around Miranda, who only sees them as a tool or a pawn rather than someone who literally has thoughts and feelings

i will say that moment where they were watching Daniela + where they mentioned they'll go easy on her were changes we're starting to see in their character. they see the possibility of what they could have, what life they could live, but it'll take some time for them to understand they're allowed to have happiness

*listen i adore simple affection :'( i think it's way more interesting to write these women as people who are capable of kindness and love, but choose to be cruel and awful to anyone who isn't their family. i don't really like reading anything where they're just horrible all the time and are incapable of even being half-decent to each other

but yes, everyone gets a kiss! you get a kiss, and you get a kiss, and yes, you get a kiss!!

*i do like writing their dynamics a bit different rather than the same thing over and over- like Alcina is a bit reserved because she knows Reader is hiding something and doesn't want to get too close for the sake of her daughters, Daniela is a bit more fast-paced but still very respectful of boundaries etc., Cassandra is coming to terms with the fact she's actually falling in love for like the first time, and Bela is a bit of a mix with her being out of her depth and not knowing how to proceed sometimes but still trying her hardest to compromise <3

like, i feel it makes more sense that way? they're all different people with different personalities, so they wouldn't go about every situation the same way

(also i hate when people write them as horny 24/7- like i genuinely highly doubt sex is even on their list of priorities LMAO. Bela and Dani are probably the only ones to actively seek it out, but even then, i don't think it'd be a regular occurrence like some people think)

*i'm trying my best to not write them as super hostile with each other all the time 😭 like yeah, Bela and Cass have their moments, but it's so painfully obvious they still love each other and would do anything to keep each other safe. i wish we had more of, "yeah, these people are horrible and awful, but here's them in a cuddle pile because it's a cold night <3"

ANYWAYS AAAAA IM GLAD YOU LIKED THE CHAPTER, i have a plan for the next one i think you'll like (something with Red... hmm...) and i'll try to start working on it sometime this week after i get some other projects done <3333 thank you for sharing your thoughts, i literally love them so much 😭💞

[prasi-khroma]

Sera Myu Gifs Before I Disappear (Edit)

It is 3:47am and before I forget that I have tumblr again, let’s drop my favorite gifs from the 2016 Sailor Moon Musical, Amour Eternal feat. The Outers... Again... Serenity help me.

Setsuna: “Let me help with your luggage.” 

Haruka: “Not mine?!”

Like the movie, our favorite family’s just living life away from duty (even Setsuna my gahd finally, the break she really needed). I love the scene before this because it’s Musical-canon that Michiru loves to doorbell-spam, I actually thought it would be Haruka.

And right after this gif, Setsuna attempts to pull Michiru’s luggage for her (Haruka Gets The Short End Of The Stick Pt. 2, refer to my Le Mouvement Finale post for Pt. 1) and immediately struggles because of how heavy it actually is, which makes Michiru both cooler and a lot scarier.

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This is one of the scenes that pulled me into the 2013-2017 sera myu and modern sera myu in general. I used to be really intimidated of the modern cast, especially Shuu-ranus, then I saw this scene where Haruka dares try to challenge Michiru’s perceptiveness after telling Haruka to not bother their sleeping child. You can literally sense that moment of fear in Haruka...

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But of course, she had to pout. ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!!!! I am going to scream if it weren’t for Hotaru sleeping in the next room.

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BONUS GIFS!!! 

This was supposed to be included on my first Le Mouvement Finale post (check that out if you want to see more Haruka getting bullied), but Pluto has me under temporal timeout from using the time gate after I keep going back in time trying to do the traditional drawing version of Undo on a line stroke.

Anyways, want to see Haruka being cute?

“I won’t forgive them!” 

-Tenoh Haruka, legit throwing a tantrum

You’ll definitely love Michiru’s response, if you haven’t watched it yet.

.

"The sea? *scoffs* You’re so funny, Haruka... We’re going LIPSTICK SHOPPING!!!”

- Michiru, about to throw hands

What I really love about the musicals is that we get to see certain sides to the characters that we don’t usually see and I’m all up for some immaturity from the supposed mature people of the group.

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Now that’s done, I too would return to my slumber so do what you will with these gifs. I wish you all a good day and a good night..!

[helloprettybb]

long hair and tattoos

sooo i might turn this into a series, might not. for now, it’ll just be a one shot but i’ve been craving some biker!bucky. computer is still broken sadly.

pairing: biker!bucky x reader

description: your parents still treat you like a little kid and you’re tired of it.

warnings: cursing, smut, bratty reader, very dirty smut

word count: 2.4k

Bucky leaves the bar and a cloud of smoke follows him. While it’s one of his favorite places, it gets to be a little too much. He leans against the brick wall and fumbles for his pack of cigarettes. Before he could light one, he hears footsteps on the gravel in front of him.

“Stop treating me like a child!” A high, whiny voice draws his attention. He eyes you up and sees you check all the boxes for a spoiled daddy’s girl…just his type. What’s a pretty young thing like you doing at a biker’s bar? Bucky gets off the wall and starts to walk toward you, but you don’t notice. You groan, “Brock Rumlow was an ass.” You stop for a moment.

You must not like what the person on the other side of the phone said because you whine, “But daddy, I don’t care if you need his father to endorse you. I’m not some pawn in your campaign.”

You hang up with a grumble. You start kicking a stray rock with your expensive high heels and Bucky tries his hardest not to laugh too loud, but the scene is pretty funny. A bratty rich girl outside a biker bar grumbling about another rich person.

“You okay, little lady?” Little lady, what is Bucky from the 40s? You look up at him. Your mascara is slightly runny and there’s a cute little pout on your lips.

“No, I am not okay! My dad set me up with this stupid boy who’s dad owns this big company. He wanted me to date his son so he can get his endorsement.” You’re clearly in distress and judging from your expensive shoes and even more expensive bag, you probably got lost on your way back home. It’s not safe for you here and Bucky’s relieved that he’s the one that found you alone as opposed to some of the other guys.

“Endorsement?” Bucky asks.

“As state senator.” You say casually. Bucky hums. He moves back to the wall and leans back.

“Wanna smoke?” He holds out the pack.

You shake your head. “I don’t smoke.” Bucky figured, but it would’ve been rude to not ask. He lights a cigarette for himself. You walk over so that you’re right beside him.

Bucky doesn’t say anything, but you fill the silence quickly. “Do your parents ever drive you crazy?”

“I haven’t seen my parents in awhile, sweetheart.” he replies.

You immediately apologize, “Oh, I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me.”

Bucky laughs, “They’re not dead or anything. We’re just not close. Not a big deal.”

You nod and proceed to rant, “Well, mine never take me seriously and I’m tired of it.” Your eyes flutter and he can tell you’re trying not to cry.

Bucky moves closer to you, not saying anything as it seems like you need someone to just listen.

“They treat me like a kid. I just wish there was something I could do to make them see I’m not their little girl anymore.”

Your eyes are watering and you look like you’re about to cry. Scratch that, you are crying. Bucky doesn’t know what to do so he awkwardly pulls you toward him into a sorta comforting hug. You don’t appear to have any qualms as you cry into Bucky’s chest.

Bucky’s always been pretty bad at consoling so he strokes your hair lightly, occasionally smoothing over your back. You pull away and apologize, “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m even crying.”

“It’s okay.” You sniffle. “Hey, why don’t we get outta here?” You nod, eyes still watery but you seem to be a bit better. “My bike’s out front.” He starts to walk toward the front of the bar and you follow. He turns around and sees your arms are tightly wrapped around yourself.

His great aunt would be rolling in her grave if she saw him letting a lady get cold. He slips his leather jacket off himself and holds it out to you. You look up and see his offering.

You see that he’s only wearing a short sleeve and ask, “Won’t you be cold?”

Bucky shrugs, “I run warm. I’ll be fine..”

Hesitantly taking it from him, you mumble, “Thank you,”

You put the jacket on and it’s massive on you. Something about how small you look in his clothes ignites something in him, but he chooses to ignore it. The two of you reach his bike and Bucky lifts the seat to take out the helmets. He hands you one and you strap it around your head.

Bucky sits down while you hesitate to do so. “C’mon. I’ll go below the speed limit. Promise.”

You go behind him and without being told to do so, wrap your arms around his torso. Fuck, Bucky must be touch deprived because just feeling your small hands around his body fill him with warmth. Bucky starts the bike and you press yourself against him. This is going to be a long ride.

True to his word, Bucky goes slow and avoids major roads as best as he can. Luckily it’s late so not many cars are out anyway. You safely make it to Bucky’s place and he parks his bike on the street. You hand him the helmet and he puts both away.

As you watch him lock up his bike, you can’t help but notice how attractive he is with his nice hair and tattoos all over his arm. You bite your lip as you imagine all the things he could be doing to you. He catches you, glancing up while on his knees. Bucky smirks and you feel a little embarrassed.

“Let’s go up,” he says and you nod.

When you reach his door, Bucky fishes for his key and opens the door.

He lets you in first before following behind. “It’s not the nicest, but it’s home.” He comments offhandedly.

“No, it is nice. Um, where are my manners?” you mutter to yourself. “Thank you for letting me into your home.”

Bucky snorts at your formality. “You’re welcome, doll.” There he goes again with those terms of endearment.

He goes to his fridge and pours two glasses.. You thank him before taking a drink.

“So how’d you end up at the Captain’s?” Bucky asks.

“Brock was driving me back to my apartment, but I couldn’t stand the sound of his voice anymore so I told him to pull over. Then I just got out and started walking.”

Bucky scoffs, “That wasn’t very safe.” “It wasn’t the smartest move in hindsight.” You smirk, “But if I stayed in his car, I wouldn’t be drinking whiskey in a stranger’s apartment.” Bucky laughs quietly.

“You never told me your name.” you say.

“You never told me yours,” he replies.

“________ __________.” you reply.

“James Buchanon Barnes. But my friends call me Bucky.” he says.

“And what should I call you?” you flirt.

He turns to you and says, “Anything you want, sweetheart.” You roll your eyes but you can’t deny the effect he has over you. You and Bucky both take a sip, his eyes never leaving yours. You can feel the tension growing.

You remember, “I never gave back your jacket.” You walk over to his side of the table.

“Here.” You remove his jacket and hold it out for him to take it back. Bucky walks over to you, not breaking eye contact. You feel like you’re about to shrivel up under his domineering gaze.

Once he reaches you, he grabs onto your hand that’s holding the jacket, but doesn’t let go. He’s inches from your face. One push on your toes and your lips would be connected. “Tell me not to kiss you and I won’t.”

You look down at his lip and say, “Please, James.” He closes the gap and uses his other hand to cup your chin. He grabs the leather jacket and throws it behind him somewhere. Using his free hand, he pulls you closer by your waist. You moan into his mouth as Bucky kisses you wildly.

He’s so big above you, practically towering over you. You sit on the table and wrap your legs around his waist. Crossing your ankles, you pull him closer to you and Bucky moves his mouth down to your neck.

He gives you a hickey or multiple, you’re not really sure. You pull him back up to your lips and he smiles at your eagerness. He picks you up and backs you into his bedroom

Placing you on his bed, he quickly removes his shirt before reconnecting your lips. You feel him move his hands toward your back then hear him unzip your dress. You kick off your heels as Bucky helps you out of your dress. You forgot that you didn’t wear a bra and immediately feel exposed as the front of your dress falls. Bucky’s eyes practically light up as he connects his mouth to your right nipple. Your head falls back and a moan escapes your mouth.

You shimmy out of the dress and throw it on the ground. Bucky starts to unbuckle his belt and slide his jeans off. The only clothes not on the ground are your lacy thong and Bucky’s boxers.

Before you can finish undressing him, he pins you to the bed by your wrists with one hand. You pout, unable to touch him. Bucky just smirks and kisses the pout away. He starts to move his left hand down your body and before he reaches your pussy, he pulls away and asks, “Is this okay?”

“Yes, yes please. I want it so bad,” You whine desperately.

“Okay, princess.” he says and you moan at that nickname. Bucky traces light circles on your clit over your thong. You push your hips up to signal that you want more. “Patience,” he mutters and you groan. He kisses you again and you’re momentarily pleased.

Finally, he pushes your thong aside and dips a finger in. You gasp at his one finger filling you up. Bucky smiles at your reaction and adds another finger. He already feels so big and that’s just two of his fingers. You imagine how his cock feels and you moan loudly.

“Can you take anotha finger?” he asks. You nod quickly and he adds another. You rarely get off on just fingering, but something about Bucky’s thick, long fingers hitting that same, sensitive spot has you reeling.

“Fuck, feel you clenchin’ around my fingers. Are you gonna cum, princess?” he basically taunts. You’d be mad if it didn’t feel so good.

“Y-yes, please. keep going.” you cry. Bucky quickens his thrusts and you feel yourself approaching the edge. With your hands still trapped under his singular giant one, you find yourself writhing under him as you cum. His eyes never leave you as you ride out your orgasm.

When you start to come down from your high, Bucky asks, “Has anyone told you how fucking pretty you look when you cum?” You laugh, still loopy from your climax.

Bucky releases your wrists and you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him into a kiss. As he kisses you, Bucky starts to remove your thong. You lift your hips up to help. With every grind against his hard on, you shiver at the sensitivity. Bucky pulls away to remove his boxers and look for a condom in the nightstand.

You lay with your mouth slack as you watch him put the condom on his massive dick. He sees your shocked expression and comments, “I’d love to feel that pretty mouth ‘round my cock. But right now…” He traps you between his arms with his face only inches away, “I wanna feel that tight little pussy.” You moan at his words and pull him into a brief kiss.

When you separate, you lay down on the bed and Bucky takes your legs so he can pull you to the edge. Stroking his cock a couple times, he lines it up with your pussy and slowly pushes in. You can’t help but cry out at the intrusion. It doesn’t hurt since he’s going slow, but fuck you’ve never felt this full.

Once he bottoms out, he gives you a moment to adjust before slowly thrusting. You grip the sheets beneath you as you feel the tip of his dick start to hit that spot. He takes your moans as a good sign so he quickens the pace.

You’re so lost in pleasure that you practically scream at each thrust. Bucky doesn’t seem to mind the huge ego boost as he continues going faster and harder. Just as you think it can’t get any better, he moves your legs to his shoulders so he can be even deeper.

“Bucky, I’m gonna…” you start, the rest of your sentence slurred and incoherent. He seems to get the message as he moves one hand to your clit, roughly jamming his thumb and adding to the stimulation.

“J-james.” you shout before cumming hard around his cock. The sudden tightness around his dick pushes him closer to the edge and after a couple more strokes, he fills the condom.

You’re both breathing hard as Bucky slowly slips out of you. He looks down and can’t help but smirk at how wrecked you look with your tear-stained face and shaky thighs.

He walks to the garbage in his bathroom to throw away the condom.

“I can’t move,” you say.  Bucky laughs and grabs a towel to clean you up. Your pussy contracts as he moves over the sensitive area. After cleaning the mess on your thighs, he throws the towel on a chair in the corner.

You’re suddenly overcome with immense fatigue so you move beneath his covers. Bucky slips behind you and wraps his arms around your waist. He rubs gentle circles on your stomach and you swear you’ve never fallen asleep faster.

[specialagentsergio]

rationalizations

rationalizations: a defense mechanism in which one makes up a false but reassuring explanation to explain their behavior and/or feelings to both themselves and others, thus avoiding the reality of why they are really acting or feeling as they do.

summary: You’re the psych evaluation for Spencer. You think he’s full of shit, so you refuse to sign his clearance form until he actually tells the truth.

pairing: spencer reid x f!reader

category: angst (happy ending)

content warnings: spencer’s canonical trauma, flashbacks, mentions of suicide and suicidal ideation, swearing

a/n: i wrote this for @imagining-in-the-margins‘ enemies to lovers event. it’s not my favorite trope, but one of the prompts sparked inspiration for me. i also took a good amount of inspiration from meredith’s various therapy scenes in grey’s anatomy, so if some of it feels familiar, that’s why! i swear i intended to make this cute and funny, but, well… here we are lmao.

word count: 3.6k

masterlist

Spencer throws his bag onto his desk with a frustrated huff. It thumps loudly, startling JJ at her desk across from his. She gives him a sympathetic look regardless. “Still not cleared yet?”

“No!” Forgetting that it’s wheeled, he drops himself into his chair. It skids backwards and he has to scramble to grab something to keep from falling out of it.

“Careful there,” JJ says, trying valiantly to suppress a laugh. “That psychologist's got you really worked up, huh?”

“I don’t know what she wants from me!” he complains. “It’s been nearly a month! Hotch’s ex-wife was murdered by an unsub, but they cleared him. I was only shot in the neck.”

“I mean, that’s still kind of a big deal,” she says. “You could’ve died, from the gunshot, or from the nurse that tried to kill you afterwards.”

“Speaking of that nurse,” he starts, “Garcia is the one who shot him and she’s been a wreck over it. She insisted on going to the guy’s execution. But the therapist cleared her!”

“Penelope’s not in the field,” JJ points out.

He crosses his arms. “Still. This isn’t the first time I’ve been shot. That possibility is part of the job. It’s not like it came out of nowhere and I was completely unprepared for it.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Spence,” she says. “Just keep all of your appointments and I’m sure you’ll be cleared soon.”

He pulls a stack of papers on his desk towards him. Paperwork—one of the things he’s actually allowed to do. “I better be,” he mutters.

---

“And it was really scary, you know?” Spencer wipes at his eyes with a tissue. “Not knowing if I was going to live or die.”

“Mm-hmm.”

He takes a deep breath. “But… it’s over now. The preacher who shot me died in the same shootout. Owen McGregor, the leader of the corrupt deputies, died later that night, in another shootout. And Greg Baylor, the one who posed as a nurse and tried to kill me, was sentenced to death row and he’s gone now, too.”

His psychologist makes a note on the paper in front of her, but doesn’t say anything, so he continues.

“I… I feel better now, just letting that out.” He takes a new tissue and dries his nose. “I feel ready now. Ready to go back to work.”

She nods slowly, considering him. But she doesn’t even look towards her desk where the clearance form sits, frustrating him to no end. After five minutes of silence, he breaks.

“You can’t be serious.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I’ve been coming to these sessions for over a month, and I’m still not cleared to be in the field. I…” He musters up more tears and makes sure his voice wavers during his next words. “I just don’t know what you want? I’ve tried everything.”

“No, you haven’t,” she says plainly.

He blinks in surprise, sending some of the crocodile tears down his cheeks. “What?”

She crosses her legs. “You’re full of shit.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not being honest with me, and I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself either,” she says. “You’re a great actor. I can see how you’ve gotten clearances easily before. But that stops with me.”

Spencer stares at her. “I don’t understand.”

She moves her notebook to the side. “What happened in Texas isn’t the first time your life’s been in danger. Why do you think that is?”

“Wh—that’s part of my job,” he argues, fake crying long since forgotten.

“Not to the extent that you take it. I’ve read your file,” she says. “You take unnecessary risks with regularity.”

The tissues crumple in his hand as he clenches it. “I do not.”

“Let’s go back to the beginning.”

“The beginning of what?”

“Of your career.” Yet she doesn’t take out his file, or look at her notes. She speaks from memory. “2005. The BAU is assisting with a hostage situation. You go into the train, posing as someone who is there to remove a microchip from the unsub, but the first thing you do? You take off your bulletproof vest.”

“Okay, clearly you don’t understand what the situation was,” Spencer cuts in. “Ted Bryar was suffering from a psychotic break. He was somewhat unpredictable, and he told me to take off the vest.”

“And you just listened?”

“He—he had a gun, and was threatening both me and the other passengers with it!” he says. “What was I supposed to do, not listen?”

“Uh, yeah,” she replies. “You easily played into his delusions just a few minutes later to distract him. Why not do that to keep yourself safe?”

“I was twenty-four and was running on adrenaline,” he says defensively. “And it was my first time doing something like that. You can’t expect me to think of everything.”

“You’re right, I can’t,” she agrees. “So let’s jump forward a few years. How about the time you approached a teenager who was wielding an assault rifle with no protection, not even your own firearm?” she challenges.

“You mean Owen Savage? That was a unique situation,” he protests. “I knew I could talk him down.”

“No, you didn’t. You thought you had a good chance, but there’s no way to be one hundred percent sure of that. He was volatile, and on a killing spree,” she counters. “You didn’t know if you’d succeed--”

“I did!” He startles himself by unconsciously raising his voice, but he doesn’t apologize. “I did, because….”

“Because you related to him,” she fills in. “And that’s fine. Having empathy for an unsub doesn’t suggest something’s wrong in and of itself. But you still put yourself, and the rest of your team, in danger, didn’t you?”

He crosses his arms. “I got that lecture from Hotch when it happened, okay?”

“So then why’d you confront an unsub alone a few years later in Miami?” she asks. “You didn’t even tell anyone where you were going. You left your vest behind and just ran off.”

“I was having a head—wait, how do you even know that happened?” he questions. “It wasn’t in the report.”

“Well, first of all, you just confirmed it,” she points out, and he wants to kick himself. “Secondly, I can read between the lines.”

“I was having a headache,” he repeats. “I wasn’t thinking all that clearly. I just knew Julio’s life was in immediate danger, so I went to help him.”

“Uh-huh. More recently,” she says, brushing past his excuse, “You confronted your girlfriend’s stalker without your vest or gun.”

Spencer’s getting angry now. “I was trying to save Maeve. She asked me to leave them behind.”

“And you simply listened. Do you see the pattern I’m drawing here, Dr. Reid?” she asks. “These are just a few of the instances that stand out. Time and time again, you put yourself in unnecessary danger. So I’ll ask you again. Why do you think that is?”

Spencer looks over her—really looks over her, trying to understand what she’s getting at. “Are… are you suggesting that I’m suicidal?” he asks quietly.

She looks him straight in the eye. “You don’t act like someone who wants to be alive.”

It’s like she set off a bomb in his brain. Memories, and the feelings attached to them, emerge—Elle handcuffed to a seat, a teenager with a rifle, a blinding headache, Maeve and blood on the warehouse floor.

“Here’s what I see,” she says. “I see a man who’s been through so, so much. Your mother is mentally ill, your father left--”

His father is packing a suitcase. Spencer doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do or say, so he falls back on what he knows.

“Statistically, children who grow up in two-parent households attain three more years of higher education than children from single-parent households.”

It doesn’t help. “We’re not statistics, Spencer.”

“Your file says she’s staying at an institution, and with your father out of the picture, I can only assume you were the one who had her admitted--”

“Spencer, please don’t do this to me!” she cries as she’s escorted out of the house by Bennington Sanitarium’s transport staff.

“A few years into your work here at the FBI, you were kidnapped, tortured and drugged--”

He’s tired and cold and his whole body aches. Tobias—the real Tobias—looms over him with a syringe.

“Please. I don’t want it,” he pleads of his captor. “I don’t want it, please.”

The needle punctures his skin regardless.

“—you were held hostage by a cult leader--”

Emily sits across from him on the plane with a black eye. “What Cyrus did to me is not your fault.”

He pretends to agree.

“—you went through the death and reappearance of Agent Prentiss--”

He’s tried to make it clear to Jennifer that he wants to be left alone, but she won’t stop trying to talk about it with him, and he’s had enough.

“I came to your house for ten weeks in a row crying over losing a friend, and not once did you have the decency to tell me the truth.”

“—and your girlfriend was shot in front of you.”

“Who’s Thomas Merton? Who is he?” Diane demands, gun pressed against Maeve’s head.

“He’s the one thing you can never take from us,” Maeve replies, and Spencer’s heart drops. Thomas Merton is Maeve’s way of saying goodbye—she’s giving up.

“Wait!” he cries out, but it’s too late.

“This is just some of the more traumatic stuff. And then there’s what happened last month, which is why you’re here. You present a face of not being bothered by all of this, because that’s what you’ve been doing all your life, but I think you are bothered. You really, really are. And you don’t want to admit to anyone just how much it all has affected you. Maybe you don’t even want yourself to know.” Her expression and tone of voice are certain.

Spencer can’t take it anymore. The whirlwind of emotions and memories is overwhelming.

“The number of times you’ve almost died is staggering--”

“Yeah, and sometimes I wish I had!” He glares at her, breathing heavily. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

But she doesn’t seem intimidated or alarmed at all. She leans back in her armchair. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

The response only serves to make him angrier. She questioned him relentlessly and made him admit something he swore in the dark hours of sleepless nights that he’d never think again, never voice, let alone admit to anyone. She forced it out of him, forced. She made him say it against his will.

So why does he feel a sense of relief?

“I…” Tears well up in his eyes—real ones this time. “I’m done,” he chokes out.

He pushes himself off of the couch and out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

---

He storms in Hotch’s office and demands to see a different psychologist. But she was one step ahead of him—a few hours before the appointment, she had emailed Hotch and told him that under no circumstances should Spencer be allowed to get a clearance from someone else.

“And you’re going to believe her?” he cries.

“She’s doing her job, Reid.”

“You barely know her! You’ve known me for a decade!”

“Yes, I have,” Hotch agrees. “And you’ve told me yourself that you’ve fooled psychologists and therapists before. So if this one is saying you’re not ready yet, I’m inclined to believe her.”

Spencer just stares at him, but as usual, Hotch doesn’t blink.

“Unbelievable,” Spencer eventually mutters.

“Take the rest of the day off,” Hotch replies, glancing down at fists Spencer hadn’t realized he was clenching.

“Fine.”

Too agitated to stand in the elevator, he takes the stairs. As he stomps down them, he swears he’ll never go back to her office, even if it means never going into the field again.

A week passes, then two, and he hasn’t seen the psychologist since. But he doesn’t feel any better—he actually feels worse. It’s like her words broke a dam in his mind, in his gut, and feelings of unease and uncertainty won’t pass. It keeps him up at night. Her words echo in his head. “You don’t act like someone who wants to be alive.”

Spencer’s had yet another sleepless night and is struggling not to doze off at his desk despite the coffee he’s drinking. He stands up with the intention of splashing some water from the bathroom sink on his face, but his feet take him somewhere else.

He stares at the nameplate on the door. He swore he’d never go back, yet he feels compelled to knock.

It only takes her a few moments to answer. “Dr. Reid. Can I help you?” she asks.

“I…” He sighs. “Are you busy?”

“No. Come on in.” She steps to the side, opening the door wider to let him pass. He sits down on the couch.

She waits patiently. She doesn’t rush him. She lets him speak first.

He wrings his hands in his lap, staring down at them. “Something you said is bothering me.”

“What was it?”

“About… living,” he admits quietly. “I… I think you might have been right.”

When he gets the courage to glance up at her, he finds a soft smile on her face. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Spencer hadn’t realized he was expecting judgment and disdain until it didn’t happen. His shoulders slump down in relief. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, I think I would.”

---

“You’re still thinking about her, aren’t you?”

Spencer looks up from his paperwork, slightly out of it, to find Derek watching him. His coworker had, indeed, caught him thinking about her again. His psychologist. Well, former psychologist. After his second session back with her, she’d handed over a clearance form and a referral to a therapist outside the bureau to see long-term.

“And you better follow up with that,” she’d told him, the corner of her mouth turning up despite her serious tone of voice. “I’ll know if you don’t.”

He’d promised that he would, and had followed through. But despite the progress he was making with the new therapist, he was feeling a little disappointed that he didn’t get to see her anymore. He only saw her in passing, sometimes in the elevator or walking down the hallways of the building. They would exchange hellos, she would ask how he was doing, then give him a little wave as she left. Each time his heart would skip a beat, and he’d feel an urge to follow her to wherever she was going.

Yet he hadn’t quite realized why he seemed to be preoccupied with her until a dream he had a few weeks ago—a dream in which he found himself kissing her. Despite being alone in his bedroom, he’d woken up feeling embarrassed. He promised himself that he would put her out of his mind. Having a crush on his psychologist? It was ridiculous.

But then he saw her in the elevator a few days later and he couldn’t help but analyze her body language. It was open, and she twirled her hair around a finger while she looked at him to ask him how he was. A few other people entered the elevator on the next floor, but her attention remained on him. They were subtle signs, but signs that he recognized nonetheless—signs of attraction. And once he started seeing them, he couldn’t stop.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Spencer tells Derek, picking back up the pen he hadn’t noticed he dropped.

“You can’t pull that on me, kid,” he replies. “It’s your psychologist. You can’t stop thinking about her, can you?”

Spencer sighs. “So what if I can’t?”

“So go ask her out already!” Derek says like it’s obvious.

“You don’t think that’s just a little inappropriate?”

“You’re not seeing her as a client anymore, are you?” he points out. “Go for it, kid. You’ll regret it if you don’t.”

Spencer takes the advice—as soon as Derek said it, he knew he was right. He would regret not taking a chance on her and the connection he felt. Sure, she’d helped him with therapy, but it went deeper than that. It feels like she knows him.

He leaves the bullpen ten minutes early that evening, hoping to catch her before she leaves for the day. On her doorstep, he feels just as nervous as he did on the day he admitted that she was right, but it’s a different kind of nervous. An excited nervous. He knocks on the door.

She’s surprised when she seems him. He watches as her pupils dilate, and it boosts his confidence. “Dr. Reid. Can I help you?”

“You can. I’d like to talk,” he says.

“Oh. Well, I guess I could do that,” she says. “I thought things were going well with the therapist I referred you to, though.”

He shakes his head. “No, I don’t mean I want an appointment.”

Her eyebrows come together in confusion. “Okay, then, what do you want?”

Spencer doesn’t hesitate. “I want to take you out to dinner.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I really like you, and I think we’re meant to be together,” he replies, voice softening a bit.

She pauses before answering. When she does, her voice is gentle. “Dr. Reid, sometimes a medical professional’s care can start to feel like affection over a period of time, but--”

“No one has ever listened to me like you do,” he interrupts.

“That’s my job,” she points out.

“I’ve seen therapists before, but none of them have been like you,” he counters. “You understand me.”

She sighs. “Well, I’m glad I was a good fit and was able to help you. But that doesn’t mean that I see you as anything more than a client.”

“You’re lying.”

“Excuse me?”

“You do feel something more for me,” he says firmly, but then backtracks a little. “Well, I know you’re attracted to me at least.”

She blinks and shakes her head slightly, take aback. “Dr. Reid, this is not appropriate--”

“Please call me Spencer,” he says, then jumps into his explanation. “See, when we’re attracted to someone, our bodies display involuntary signals, and I’ve seen you do some of them when you’re around me. Whenever we run into each other here, your body will turn a little towards me and you’ll play with your hair. Your attention is almost entirely focused on me. And, when you see me, your pupils dilate. They did it when you opened the door just a few minutes ago. Oh, and I’m attracted to you, by the way,” he adds as he realizes how one-sided he’s been. “I imagine my pupils probably dilate when I see you, too.”

Her mouth opens and closes a few times, like she wants to speak but doesn’t know what to say. She looks flustered, and he wonders if maybe he’s pushed it too far or said too much, but he can’t turn back now. “So, please, let me take you out,” he says quietly. “Just… just give it a chance.”

She bites her lip and looks at the ground. There’s a crease between her eyebrows, which he’s come to learn means she’s thinking. She speaks seriously when she looks back up. “If I go out with you, I can’t treat you anymore. If you ever need another evaluation or session, you’d have to get it from someone else.”

“I know,” he says. “I get along well with the therapist you referred me to, though. And having to get clearance from a different psychologist at the bureau is something I’m willing to give up in favor of getting to know you better.”

She considers him. “You’re serious about this,” she states.

It’s not a question, but he answers it anyways. “I am.”

She tilts her head to the side, eyes unfocusing as she ponders the situation. Eventually, she says, “Let me think about it.”

It’s not exactly the answer he was hoping for, but he’ll take it.

---

It’s only six PM, but Spencer is already exhausted. He unlocks his apartment door, fully intending to collapse onto his bed, but instead receives a pleasant surprise in the form of his girlfriend waiting for him on the couch. He can’t help but smile.

“Sweetie, what are you doing here?” he asks, then adds, “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Penelope told me it was a bit of a rough case,” she replies. “And I missed you.”

She holds out her arms and he takes the invitation, joining her on the couch and laying down between her legs, placing his head on her chest. “I missed you, too.”

Her next words are overly familiar. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Hey, we agreed to no therapy,” he says. “Something about I can’t be your client anymore?”

She huffs. “This isn’t therapy. This is being a good partner.”

Spencer smiles into the fabric of her shirt, snuggling in closer. “I know, I’m just teasing you. I don’t need to talk about the case,” he says, finally answering her original question. “I feel fine now that I’m here with you.”

She lets out a pleased hum and starts running her fingers through his hair. “I ordered take-out for dinner, by the way.”

“Where from?”

“You know where.”

A wide grin spreads across his face. She must have ordered take-out from the restaurant he took her to on their first date. He lifts his head to look her in the eye. “Aren’t you glad you said yes to me all those months ago?”

“Oh, I suppose,” she says with pretend annoyance, rolling her eyes.

Then she kisses him.

Spencer’s never been so happy to be alive.

---------------

tell me what you thought here!

please note that i DO NOT ENDORSE asking out your therapist/former therapist. this is fanfiction. thank you.

general taglist: @calm-and-doctor​ , @spencerreid9​

[ct-multifandom]

Post-AINI Thoughts

Spoilers for the whole game

First of all I’ll link my collaborative doodle whiteboard again for visibility. Obsessed with everything people have added so far,,, immaculate. If you haven’t been on it yet, go! (I hid a little something on it, too >:))

https://r9.whiteboardfox.com/91979430-1215-3634

I felt this way about game 1, but the English casting and voice direction for these games are always so good? So I looked up who’s in charge, and the director is Courtney Sanford with Robby Daymond as assistant director. I’ve never heard of him so I clicked on his link, and his directing project before AINI was the new Pinocchio movie??? Hit me like a semi truck dude you’re telling me the guy responsible for directing the great VA in AI is the same guy behind “THE WHOLE WORLDUSSY”??? I haven’t seen the movie, so maybe the VA is actually pretty good and that one part is just too easy to meme, but that threw me for a loop.

Saw lmaonade’s Aiba crewmate drawing which is fun because I posted an Aiba crewmate drawing last week, and someone in the notes said Aiba crewmate was the first thing they drew after seeing her… can we make this into one of those fake Mandela effect things like Greeble Simpson? Hive mind. In a parallel world Aiba IS a crewmate and we’re all using our SHIT abilities to see her.

I think it’s funny how Mamoru is a normal, somewhat decent guy who just happens to be employed by the minor villain of the story in both games. Imagine in AI3 there’s a character who seems very innocent and unassuming, but we find out they just employed Mamoru as their bodyguard which makes them instantly suspicious.

Thinking about how Amame dreamed about fighting Komeji for his title as Quiz King. If he’s the king, Amame would be the heir to the “throne” after his death, but she didn’t want it to happen this way. She’d rather have him back and wishes she could’ve become the quiz champion by playing against him until she surpassed him, which she will never have the ability to do. And this is a dream she has six years after his death showing how much she misses him

Also the irony of Uru seeing Amame and thinking that their encounter was fateful because he was entranced by her, and he was half-right since it was fateful, just that the fate was his own death

I started one of NicoB’s let’s play videos and someone commented how Komeji’s head being square could symbolize how he’s incapable of “thinking outside the box” which is why his somnium is so straight forward that it doesn’t have any puzzles or weird dream stuff in it. And how his “comedy” is just stories about what Shoma said because Shoma’s the creative and funny one. That commenter is a genius. I should watch Nico’s whole let’s play and read the comment section because someone always has some crazy analysis and trivia in there.

The canon explanation is apparently just “what’s the most fucked up character design I can make without it being too ridiculous”

I was expecting Ushidera to be the asshole “get out of my way, the adults are talking” detective trope, but turns out he’s just a guy with the snazzy detective aesthetic. The scene where Bibi gives him chocolate to butter him up is pretty cute

Hitomi is the CEO of finding random, injured, sketchy people on the ground and taking them home

I think if you gave Tokiko a copy of Super Mario 64 she’d have that shit wrapped up and 100%ed in under an hour. Any% in 10 min

I headcanon Shoma as being a trans guy. It makes sense with his VA being a trans guy and him not going to high school. Also angst headcanon that Komeji chose Shoma’s new name, as explained in Shoma’s somnium, based on the time he spent with his son growing up and getting to know him.

I love the fashion in the AI universe because it’s fairly diverse among characters’ individual tastes, but it has such a distinct “decades style” vibe from a decade that hasn’t happened yet. Part of it is the Pokémon design influence, but I love how it’s somewhat reminiscent of current fashion yet futuristic in a way that makes you think, yeah, if our world turned into a crazy sci fi future like AI I could see this being the new mode.

Also because it’s cool and trendy to wear huge sweaters and never brush your hair. They’re just like me fr

I saw Uchikoshi’s tweets about the weird, unexplained boss-called-SAT part at Brahman, and he said he’ll explain it if he can have a “third eye”… it seems to me like they’re planning the plot of a third game, but its development won’t be given the OK unless aini does well. I’m mad at myself for not thinking of the “third eye” thing in my AI3 predictions post lol

I hope we see Marco’s humanoid form and/or hear him talk in DLC content. We know his blob form has a finished 3D model that wasn’t used in the game.

I’m curious about a few things (people who have Twitter please send my questions to Uchikoshi. They are of utmost importance)

How do Ryuki and Tama… do what they do? Is it possible in the Virtual Reality mode?

More importantly, where does Tama park? How does she find parking for a stretch limo in the city?

Does Shoma only own one shirt? When we look at Date and Mizuki’s closet, we can see that they have several exact repeats of their usual outfit, but when we look in Shoma’s closet, all we see are some sheets, Roboji, and the large pile of thermite bombs. Has he been wearing the same thing for six years?

[worldsover]

BarelyLegalGirls2021Scene9.mov.exe ft. Jiheon

words ✦ 3741

genres ✧ the sort of thing that trips your antivirus; budding porn star!Jiheon

✦✧✦✧✦✧

“Isn’t this shit kinda exploitative?” you say in the dressing room. Well, it’s more of a big closet, but the porn set is just a house anyway.

“Dude, she’s eighteen, right there on the driver’s license,” the director says. He has tribal tattoos, a puka shell necklace, and honest-to-goodness flame patterns on his dress shirt. His existence alone would revive Friendster in 2021. The smell of his Axe—Phoenix?—body spray is so heavy, he would kill it again in 2022 when people smell him through the internet.

Baek Jiheon, April 17, 2003. Hate the way the light draws attention to the date, even if she isn’t much younger than you. “I guess I feel weird about it.”

He taps his foot. The guy looks like he has to dedicate all his brain’s resources to do it. "So like, when does it stop becoming weird?”

“Uhh… Eighteen and a half?"

"Okay, so. Um, what if we shot this a day earlier than that then? Hmm?”

Tilt your head.

“How 'bout two days earlier? A week?”

“Wait, wait, wait a sec. I know where this is going.”

“Okay, chill, when she’s not legal, stop there. Whatever. But like, actually think. Man ain't bald 'til there ain’t hair on his head.”

"Wow. Didn’t know Eubulides was a sleazy porn director."

“The fuck Obladi Oblada you talkin' about? Fuck you, I’m not sleazy. Anyway, you ever check the actual legal age?”

“What the fuck! Eugh.” Crease your face in disgust. “Fuck's wrong with you?"

“Get off your high horse. Remember Friday?"

Petite, smiley blonde, small breasts, easy to work with and handle for the scene.

"She was like, so coked out of her mind, she could’ve changed her name to Tuesday with how little she paid attention even though it was like Wednesday in the first place!” He waves his arms in the air, as if he said something so clever.

“Whatever you say, dude.”

“What? Not funny? I’m just saying! None of this shit’s real man. It’s all legal. Who cares? At least don’t feel weird about the bag. Plus you know, like, getting to fuck a tight young bod. Heh. Hehe.”

The director gestures at the outline of a human-sized Coca Cola glass bottle, then proceeds to spank it, having a great time imagining air jiggle even when you walk away.

You find Jiheon in the bathroom, touching up her makeup. Her pink hair stands out to your eyes at first. She looks more like someone who would make subpar Onlyfans content rather than gonzo porn. To be fair, she would make bank doing it when you catch a glimpse of her adorable face and the curves, especially on her waist. The sash really accentuates how fit she is. But you have to stop yourself from apologizing before saying anything else.

“Ahem. Look, I gotta say, I’ve fucked a lot of girls.”

“That’s good,” Jiheon says without sarcasm, nonplussed at your confession. Her eyes swivel and strike into yours.

“Wh-what I mean is, I don’t say this often, or at all really, but if you need help or something...”

“Wow.” Her lips exaggerate opening to say the word. “I’m getting a porn actor to simp for me. Really?"

“Huh?”

Jiheon caresses your muscles. “Oppa, tell me, why do I need help?”

Avoid her eyes before you eventually reply. You don’t mean to back her up to the mirror. Her thighs squish against the corner of the sink as she leans backwards, but she shows no discomfort. Jiheon’s not really the one stuck in a corner. “Okay, you got me, you fucking got me. The fuck are you doing here?”

“Tsk. I wanna hear it,” she says in a sing-songy voice.

You sigh. “I’ll put it in plain words. I fuck six to sevens caked in makeup. Do anything else. For fuck’s sake, sell ice cream in the winter and put your face on the advertising. Why are you here?”

“Doesn’t sound like plain words.”

“You’re too pretty to be here. Get out. Touch grass and smell the morning air, please.”

“Isn’t that the best part? Seeing a cute innocent girl like me become a slut for porn?”

Your mouth falls out of your mouth. Jiheon's mouth curls into a smile. It’s blinding.

“But what if I like being fucked by strangers?” she asks, her voice rising. “Plus you’re guaranteed to have a nice cock! Soo, you said you fucked a lot of girls before right?”

Nod slowly. She turns around, bends over on the sink and licks at her lipstick. Her asscheeks poke out from under her shorts.

“Well, I’m an adult now. Fucking use me like one.”

You really do have a crisis of faith. Why are you here? Is this really right?

It lasts two seconds with Jiheon wiggling her ass.

What an ordeal, getting your porn-approved cock to fit between her denim shorts—Levi’s fits well around her legs—but you’re in such exhilaration that you don’t bother with stripping.

“Oh? Really? You’re gonna miss the hole like that?” she asks teasingly.

Slide up and down between her legs. Your lips rest on her neck, but your touch has to be light, don’t want to have to redo the makeup. Then again, you look at her in the reflection. A hickey before she even starts would suit her. Could really play up the promiscuous angle in the scene.

“I wasn’t going for that. Your legs looked great but I had to check if they felt just as good,” you say.

“Do they?”

It’s more like her wetness is doing the heavy work of making her texture feel great, but you let her know anyway. “They do.”

“Now that’s that good dick I was looking for, f-fuck.”

As your cock slips into its desired home, Jiheon smirks in the mirror as she reverses her butt into your crotch, trying to hold in her volume. She has you wrapped around her finger. Well, her pussy’s the one doing the wrapping with its incredible friction, even tighter than the fabric of her shorts, but you take no time to consider the consequences. Grab onto the sash around her waist and thrust up. Each one is its own event, which is incredible considering how many girls you’ve fucked. Every fold is magnified on your sensitive shaft, the slippery walls clasp and ease perfectly in sync with yours. You only get a dozen or so in before you’re interrupted.

“Filming in ten!”

You might be thankful for the interruption. It’d be embarrassing cumming in a minute after all the talk. Her tightness drags you along by the cock for a few steps anyway before she lifts her ass, disconnects herself from you to earn a grunt from your throat, and then skips away.

“So, my bud here was having a little dilemma or something,” the director says. Look away from his gaze.

Jiheon looks at him, then the camera, then back at him. “Oh, I don’t think there’s gonna be any problems here. Isn’t that right, oppa?”

“Yep. Great.”

The two of you practice your positions on the couch and take some promotional pictures before the main event. There isn’t much of a script other than the physical action, just like how there isn’t much of a crew other than a lighting guy, a mic guy and the director, now a photographer. You don’t actually penetrate her in the photos, finding clever cinematic angles in more exposed states of dress. When she takes her solo shots for the cover, you note her modeling ability. She really could be doing anything else, but instead she’s here, choosing to get paid to fuck on camera.

You have a feeling it isn’t even about the money at all.

“Pose. Pose. Pose.”

Can’t really move. Jiheon is on top of you, her ass weighing down on your dick in a reverse cowgirl stance, though her legs are in between yours as though she’s giving you a lapdance. With each “Pose”, she drags her ass back. Forth. Back and forth. Bite your tongue to not let out some stupid moan.

“Hey girl, what’s that on your neck?” the director asks.

“Oh, we just had a little, hmm, practice session,” Jiheon replies.

The director rounds his mouth. “W-well, you should’ve filmed that.”

“Good point!” Jiheon looks back, her bare, perfect pussy bearing down on your cock. “Next time,” she says in a loud whisper.

Her entrance swathes your cock and a single motion would wriggle it inside.

Jiheon does more than a single motion.

“Damn, is this recording?” The director says, setting his DSLR down for the larger camera. “Whew, it is.”

The light bounces off her milky skin and you’re blessed to receive that light, to watch that ass bounce over and over again on your cock. She goes for a long time, the director taking the film camera and putting it next to your face.

“Yes, yes, yes, I fucking love this cock,” she rasps.

Light guy mirrors the director and puts his thumb up in approval to let Jiheon know this is great footage.

Girls usually need lube to ride you with this kind of intensity. Clearly, Jiheon isn’t a usual girl.

Match Jiheon’s pace to create photogenic ripples on her ass. As it turns out, Jiheon is built to be on camera because her juices are delectably creamy around your shaft and her lips grip in a way that would make any viewer jealous. Most other guys would be done here too, not a chance they’d last this long with Jiheon riding for her life.

Good thing you’ve had your beauty rest. Fucking two other girls in a day also helps, but the most important thing is counting in your head to distract yourself. It’s a bit like counting sheep to try to sleep, but instead it's the number of thrusts into her pussy to focus and last longer.

Jiheon dismounts and lays on top of you. Her soft tits press against you as she kisses and her nipples are firm enough to tickle your chest. The ends of your tongues meet like she’s trying to make her ends meet. No, it’s too passionate to be about money.

Maybe she’s a great actress.

“Alright, that’s probably enough of that. Put your clothes back on by the way, we gotta get a striptease for the camera,” the director says.

She licks at the string of spit between her lips before she picks her clothes back up from the floor.

Past the first bit, there’s little improv and the porn scene goes nearly to script. You can tell Jiheon is a great dancer. Her form is much more graceful than the other clumsy girls who can barely pull their panties off without tripping. To be fair, she has a bit of trouble taking hers off herself. The wet spot in her pink panties isn’t just decorative, she has to peel the sticky thing. Guess you should’ve filmed the preliminary scene after. Then again, yet again, it looks great on camera.

Jiheon takes off her halter crop top and her simple black bra with a flirty wiggle as she pulls the clothes up.

Interrupt her to add one more moment of unrehearsed content. “Keep that waist strap thing. It’ll look great, really shows off how tight your curves are.”

“I know it’ll do more than look great. And I know some other things that are tighter,” she says with a playful lilt.

Her smile is maddening. It’s cheeky, almost as much as her cheeks, and the corners of her mouth turn up in a way that makes you want to fuck her face. That’s not in the script though. You’re content with what is. Sit on the couch with your hands behind your head. The director circles around the two of you as Jiheon kneels in front of you, then he settles on a spot above your shoulder to get your point of view.

What a gorgeous point of view. Jiheon stares and crosses her eyes at the firm length on her nose and mouth. “It’s so big and mouth-watering. Mhm.”

“Suck my dick then. Make your mouth water,” you say.

She pouts and nods, then licks at it, all the way from your balls to right beneath its tip. Jiheon rests her tongue there for a moment. “Ahhh. You wike the way my tongue feehs on yoh cock?”

“Yeah, that’s the ticket, baby.”

Jiheon takes a sniff from top to bottom, revelling in your length as she slobbers from head to base. Then she takes it down her throat at once while her tongue drags along the bottom of the shaft. She knows exactly how to spit the right amount to create strands that shine in the harsh light before she slurps it up.

“That’s right,” you say, noting her eye for detail when she looks up at you but quickly focuses back on the camera.

Those eyes flutter and plead as though she doesn’t already have exactly the cock she wants. Jiheon’s gags are few and far between, but she adds the lewd noises that everyone craves such as vibrating moans that signal just how much she enjoys the dick in her mouth.

Grab her dyed hair. It’s sweaty, the ends are covered in spit and precum, and it’s all frazzled. Her makeup is much the same.

“You look pretty like this though. That’s right, you’re such a gorgeous little cocksucker, aren’t you? Down girl.”

Still on her knees, she turns around and gets her hands on the floor as well. You kneel too, lining up your cockhead with her entrance with one hand while the other gives her ass the slaps it deserves. You also slap her perfect pussy with your shaft three times before you propel forward. The tightness of her lips succumb to the width and you have to hold in your groans.

Don’t wanna be that guy that selfishly fills the audio with your sounds of pleasure, even though you know women watch this too and enjoy your noises. Instead, you consciously manage a fair mix of sound. The wet slapping of your waist against hers, your moans, her moans.

Ten. Twenty. Thirty.

With a finger curling against the corner of her mouth, she sucks on it happily like it’s your dick. To be honest, you do it to cut Jiheon’s only amateurish habit of repeating “Yeah, yeah, fuck, yeah” to let the viewer’s ears breath.

Good to know you’re putting a smile on the sound guy’s face too.

She’s right, it does more than look great and of course, you already know from your earlier rehearsal, but the sash on her waist is even better fucking her in doggystyle. It’s unfortunate you have to switch positions every five minutes, though you’re a bit thankful, you need to last as well. Jiheon is too great at pressing her legs together to squeeze your cock.

However, changing stances so often also gets tiring. Cowgirl. Missionary on the couch, with you on top, holding her chin and whispering sweet nothings, then her on top, nibbling at your ears and lips. You even pick her up, her legs around your waist and your hands on her butt. Jiheon is just perfect to hold in your arms as you thrust into her.

“Use me, stud. Use me like the fucking toy I am,” she whispers. “Break me in. Show me what a porn star can do. Be honest. You like fucking someone as young as me right? You love ruining eighteen year old girls with this cock, turning them into addicts. I think I might be too. I think I might be too. I think I might turn into a fiend for this dick, you know that? You’re a bad person. Ff, fuck but you have a great cock.“

You don’t mind leaving some things off the record.

You’ve lost count. Who cares about records?

The director has to tap on you to remind you you’re on film. “G-great. Great scene, really passionate.”

You hate him a bit but it helps. You would carry her all the way to your home and continue this scene without an audience without the reminder. As well, while you definitely enjoy your job, you appreciate the breathers before the facial scene.

“Oppa, what’s the syringe for? Gonna give me my third dose or something?” she says, hitting your arm where it’d be vaccinated.

“Right, we didn’t tell you, this is a lot better anyway. It’s just moisturizer and lotion that looks like a heavy load.”

Jiheon sticks her lip out. “Wait really? But, but, I really want your cum on my face.”

A breath through your rounded mouth. “Maybe we can do that later.”

Even as you stroke your dick with two hands, you have trouble holding your climax in for the first time in a long time. Usually the camera guy blocking a view of the girl’s face helps stop that. You attribute it to Jiheon’s zealous pre-production, though it’s more like a pre-game instead; she looks sufficiently cock-drunk on her knees. She seems unsure what to do with her hands, whether to put it on her thighs obediently or help you along with your handjob, but it’s too late when she takes her hands off her knees.

“I’m gonna fucking cum,” you say in a low voice as the director spurts the fake load from above the camera. The white viscous fluid gets all over her cheeks, eyes and tongue. She tries her best to appear excited as she licks at the goo around her mouth and spreads it but you know there’s a bit of disappointment in her face.

“Aaand cut. Seriously, great scene everyone!”

Everyone claps, so you join along.

As you learn quickly, Jiheon is quite the method actor, she loves immersing herself in her role. Jiheon pulls you aside to the bedroom and keeps that same expression, not bothering to put on clothes while the film crew wraps up. She even takes off the final article of clothing, that sash, and gives you a show while she’s at it, turning around and flaunting her perky ass as she pulls the fabric down

“So, we are working together again right?”

“Can’t say I mind.” It’s pretty funny how quickly you accept your change of pace, but you’re already here anyway.

“I’m really looking forward to our creampie scenes,” Jiheon says with a huge grin. She aligns your cock in her squat, while you lie down on the dusty bed, your hands unable to react.

“Um, I’m not paying you for this.”

“Doesn’t sound like a no to me. And sure you are, mmm,” Jiheon moans when she grabs your cock and teases her pussy lips with your tip.

Her noises of pleasure are more realistic than in her scene. Or at least she doesn’t sound like a dentist—it’s like all amateurs make the same hissing inhale sounds.

“This dick is great payment.”

Her enthusiastic ride on top also starts much like in the scene, but it becomes a tight embrace as you sit up against the back of the bed. Her lap slams into yours. You’re closer to a bumbling virgin than porn star, doing nothing while this irresistible girl—woman—jumps up and down on your dick. Warm pulses inundate your body, sealing the deal.

“Sorry, I don’t think, hah, I’m gonna last too long.”

“That’s fine, this was supposed to be my cum earlier.”

You growl while your pistoning speeds up. “Shit, I’m gonna fucking, I’m gonna—”

“Cum inside? Yess. Do it. Do it, do it, cum inside, cum inside my pussy, paint my little pussy, coat it, fucking give it all. Please, please, pleease.” Even when she’s not being recorded, Jiheon sings a dirty song and wraps her legs around your waist like it’s the last thing she’ll ever do.

Somehow, Jiheon clamps around your cock even harder and you can’t do anything but seal her lips in a deep kiss. One pump, two. You always count. But now all you can count are the seconds that your brain is mush as you give Jiheon the creampie she wants. You explode inside of her, everything throbbing and writhing, so all she does is hold you and kiss you tighter. Her lips are sealed but you can hear her mumble words of appreciation in your mouth. Again, Jiheon’s juices lather your cock white, but this time when she dismounts slowly, you can see your cum’s contribution.

Maybe it doesn’t play as well on film, but real semen looks great being cleaned up by an eager mouth with Jiheon’s face hastily finding your crotch. It’s soft again and maybe a little sore because she hasn’t stopped sucking away, but the blood rushes back to your loins as quickly as it left.

Jiheon spreads her ass prone on the mattress in front of you and you’re like steel once more.

She turns her head and smirks again. That’ll definitely be a signature look for her in the future. “We should get the camera for this one. Your load’s gonna look really good dripping out my pussy onto your cock.”

Jiheon pulls on her cheeks further. Her gooey lips almost refuse to part, like two lovers unsure if their relationship is worthwhile, stuck together only by circumstance—circumstances in this circumstance being a string of girl cum and your cum.

“C’mon... daddy.”

With your sore, throbbing cockhead, you help them break up.

What a messy breakup.

This shouldn’t be on camera.

However, you can’t deny the picturesque allure of Jiheon coating your shaft in circumstance.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

AFF, AO3

This was originally a quickie but Jiheon is too hot. Someone had to do it.

[narutogwriting]

Ruin the Friendship

⋇✦ Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader

⋇✦ Genre: angst; fluff; oneshot

⋇✦ CW: none

⋇✦ Length: 2.5k+

⋇✦ @gaarasandpit just a angst/fluff naruto x reader request if you’re up for it 🥰 maybe where the reader and him are somewhat close friends and he notices she’s drifting from him because her feelings get in the way? he’s oblivious and hurt about it then confrontation happens ending up in a good old love confession

“Cmon! Open up!” Naruto called from outside your house, pounding on the door like he had been incessantly for the past five minutes. “I know you’re in there!”

He did not, in fact, know whether or not you were in there, but he couldn’t imagine where else you would be.

All week you’d been missing; Naruto couldn’t find you anywhere. Sometimes he would see the flick of your hair from the corner of his eye or his ears would pick up the sound of your laugh, but by the time he turned to find you, you’d be gone.

Your absence in Naruto’s life wasn’t something of a minor inconvenience; it was a constant pain, as if he was missing a part of his own body. Iruka had joked that Naruto missing you was akin to that of a phantom limb, like there was something of him that should be there and it wasn’t and he ached because of it.

“No, Naruto. We haven’t seen her,” Shikamaru shrugged. Ino nodded her agreement.

“Sorry. Maybe she’s on a mission or something.

Naruto frowned, sighing in frustration. “Alright, well, thanks.” He muttered before he sulked off. Shikamaru and Ino watched him go, waiting until he disappeared before Ino gave you a kick under the table.

“Ow!” you whined as you crawled out from underneath, rubbing your shoulder.

Ino rolled her eyes at you. “You’re lucky Naruto’s an idiot, or he definitely would have seen you.” She told you as you slid yourself down into the seat next to her. “Remind me: why are you avoiding him again?”

Propping your elbows on the table, you rested your head in your hands as you gave a forlorn sigh. That was a loaded question. You were avoiding Naruto because the absolute worse thing that could ever occur had happened.

You’d fallen in love with the idiot blond.

And how could you not? You’d been best friends with Naruto for the longest time. He was a constant in your life, always at your side. It was rare that one of you was seen without the other.

There was no one in the entire world that could make you smile or laugh the way that he could. Whenever you were sad or hurt, he always had the words to make it all better. Naruto had the type of smile that could save people, and you were no exception. There wasn’t a person in the world that could meet someone with a heart like Naruto’s and not walk away changed.

It had been a slow thing, a soft, unsure growing. It wasn’t a feeling you’d recognized at all once, because you always loved Naruto.

It wasn’t totally strange for you to get excited when you saw him or miss him when he was gone. It wasn’t unusual to think about him before you went to sleep.

But when you began to wake up and your first thought was, “my god he’s beautiful” when you looked at the picture of the two of you on your night stand, that was a little strange. You never used to spend extra time in the morning doing your makeup when you knew you were going to see him soon.

And you never used to blush when he smiled at you. Even you could tell you laughed a little too hard when he said something even remotely funny.

It was one day when the two of you were taking a walk that it happened. He was telling you a story, his motions large and exaggerated. Of course, he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. As he turned to you, arms raised high over his head, his foot hit a rock. Naruto went sprawling to the floor, rolling across the ground and landing flat on his back.

You burst out laughing at the scene, hurrying to kneel at his side. “Are you okay!?” You asked him between giggles.

Naruto’s face was bright red with embarrassment as he laid on the floor. He looked up at you, smiling sheepishly. “Oops…”

It was such a simple thing, but you’d looked at Naruto and thought, “I love him so much.”

Nothing had ever startled you more.

Of course you loved Naruto; that was a given. It was never anything that needed to be thought or said. It was just a fact. But as soon as you had thought the words, you knew that it was different this time. You didn’t just love Naruto.

You were in love with him.

You’d hoped that the feelings would fade. Maybe it was just a fluke or a passing crush. Day in and day out, you waited for your feelings to go back to normal, but now that you’d acknowledged them, they only seemed to grow stronger. It got to the point where you couldn’t even look at naruto without turning into a blushing mess. It was pathetic.

So you’d decided there was only one reasonable solution: you would have to avoid him for as long as it took for the feelings to go away.

And of course you didn’t want to stay away from him. Being with him was as natural as breathing. But the way you saw it, if he found out about your feelings, your friendship could be ruined forever. This way, you could take some space, move on, and resume your friendship like nothing happened.

But Naruto wasn’t making that easy.

You hadn’t realized just how much time you and Naruto spent together until you were trying to distance yourself from him. He was everywhere. Every meal, every free moment, he was by your side or trying to be at least.

“Wanna go eat?” “Wanna go train with me?” “Let’s watch a movie!” “I heard there’s gonna be a festival in the next town over!”

You couldn’t get away from him. So this past week, you’d taken to hiding from him every time you saw him, deciding it was easiest to just avoid him completely. In all honesty, you couldn’t believe just how much time and effort Naruto was putting in to trying to find you.

But of course he was putting in effort. Because you were his best friend and he couldn’t understand it; where you’d gone or why you weren’t talking to him. Had he done something wrong? Were you mad at him or something? Your absence in Naruto’s life was drawing out every insecurity he hadn’t even realized he still had. He was worried, drowning in anxiety.

What if you’d decided you didn’t want to be his friend anymore? Maybe you were annoyed with him, found him to be too much. When you and Naruto had first become friends, he thought it was too good to be true. There was no way that someone as nice and pretty and cool as you would want to be friends with him. No one had ever wanted to be his friend before.

But there you were with your sweet smile and calming presence. You had accepted Naruto, every piece of him, without question or reservation. You meant everything to him, so the thought of losing you had sent Naruto into a panic.

You’d managed to avoid Naruto for a full week and a half. The past three days, as far as you knew, he hadn’t even made an effort to find you. It was a relief and heartbreaking all at once. You needed your space, but it hurt to think that maybe Naruto didn’t miss you at all anymore.

These were the thoughts racing through your head when you crawled into bed that night. You doubted you’d be getting much sleep; you’d barely gotten any since you had started avoiding Naruto.

Pulling the covers over yourself, you closed your eyes and tried to get comfortable. It seemed like hours you laid there awake before tiredness finally started to drift over you. You could feel yourself slowly dozing off to sleep when a sudden loud noise startled you awake. Sitting up quickly, your eyes darted to the window where the noise had come from.

Naruto had forcefully pried open the window, shoving himself not-so-gracefully through the opening and crashing onto the floor.

He quickly jumped to his feet, rubbing his head with a small wince before his eyes landed on you, widening slightly.

“Ah ha! I got you!” He shouted victoriously, pointing his finger in your direction. “You can’t hide from me anymore, believe it!”

God, he was too cute for words and that was exactly the problem. Your heart practically burst just looking at him as he appeared so accomplished and excited.

But the triumphant look on his face slowly vanished as he stared at you. When he spoke, his voice came out quietly, dripping with dejection. “Where have you been?”

Quietness settled over the room as the two of you stared at each other. Naruto made no move to get closer to you, and you likewise stayed strapped in your seat. “I’m sorry…” You offered weakly, unsure of what else to say.

“Don’t be sorry!” Naruto snapped, anger quickly replacing his despaired features. “Tell me why! What the hell? You think you can just avoid a guy? Cut me off like I’m nothing to you!?” He was trembling, his usual happy grin twisted into a broken grimace so despondent it took you off guard. You had caused that hurt that Naruto was feeling. The thought made you sick.

“If you don’t want to be my friend anymore, at least say something!” Naruto spat. “Don’t just run from me like a coward! If you have something to say, say it to my face!”

There was a harsh edge to Naruto’s voice that he never used with you before. Not in all of your years of friendship. You realized suddenly just how badly you’d hurt Naruto by avoiding him. It wasn’t something you’d considered; you’d only wanted some space so you could get back to normal with him.

But you saw it clearly now, the damage that you had done. Suddenly, in this moment, he was the lonely, isolated child that he had been before you met, feeling alone and abandoned in the world. And this time, it was because of you.

The regret was like bile on your tongue, and you wished fiercely that you could take back the past week and do it differently. You couldn’t stand the thought that it was you who had caused this damage to your best friend, the guy you loved so much.

You didn’t have any words to fix it. All you had was the truth.

“I love you.”

The words slipped from your mouth before you could pull them back in. And once they were out, they couldn’t be taken back.

Confusion quickly settled on Naruto’s face. It was as if you could see the anger dissipate from his body. He stared at you, mouth slightly agape, while he tried to process what you’d just said. “You… What?”

Turning bright red, you pulled the blanket back over your head in embarrassment. You couldn’t believe you’d just said that! Now there would never be any going back to the way that things were, but you had to tell him. You couldn’t just let him think that you were cutting him off without reason.

“I said I love you…” You muttered from under the blanket. “I’m in love with you, Naruto. I have been for a while now, and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. So I thought if I just took some space and didn’t see you for a while, then maybe I would get over it, and then we could just keep things the way they were…”

It was much easier to get the words out when you were under the blanket and couldn’t see him, but you were still nauseous with anxiety as you told him how you felt. Your heart was steeling itself for rejection as you waited for his response.

The only noise was shuffling as Naruto came to your bed. You could feel the indent as he sat down next to you. He grabbed your blanket, slowly peeling it off of you and despite your reluctance, you let him.

You didn’t look at him as you pushed yourself back up into a sitting position. You’d never been so embarrassed before.

“Did it work?” He asked you quietly.

Fidgeting with the hem of your night shirt, you mumbled, “Did what work?”

“Are you over me?”

The question took you off guard, lingering between the two of you, and you couldn’t help but flicker your eyes to his. He was staring earnestly at you with those wide blue eyes you loved so much. You wanted to lie to him but you just couldn’t.

“No.”

Naruto’s focused expression stretched into a wide grin as he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you to him. You were too startled to respond, so you just stared at him, confused, instead.

“You scared me!” Naruto laughed happily as he rested his cheek against your head. “I thought you didn’t want to be my friend anymore! You didn’t have to completely avoid me, ya know.”

There was a mix of relief and disappointment at his reaction. So, he wasn’t weirded out about your confession? Things didn’t have to change. The two of you could stay ‘just friends.’

“So, we’re okay?” You asked him nervously. “We’re still friends?”

Naruto gave a puzzled hum as he pulled away from the hug to stare at you. He raised his eyebrow as he studied you for a moment. You could almost see the light bulb go off above his head as he realized.

“Oh!” He laughed, grinning sheepishly and rubbing his neck. “I guess I forgot to tell you it back, huh? I thought it was obvious! I love you too, believe it!”

You blinked as he giggled embarrassedly, that signature smile of his on his lips. “Naruto!” You snapped at him, lunging and knocking you both off the bed. He landed on his back with you on top of him as you rubbed your fist into his head. “You dummy!”

“Hey! Cut it out!” Naruto whined, squirming under your touch. “Is that any way to treat your boyfriend!?”

The question was enough to make you stop, your mouth frozen in a surprised “o” shape, just like he hoped. He laughed, sitting up and holding you to him before he placed a happy kiss to your cheek, making your face flush over red.

You placed your hands on his shoulders, looking at him as it finally sunk in what he said. He loved you too. He called himself your boyfriend. “Is that your way of asking me?” You questioned.

Naruto nodded earnestly. “And my way to get you to stop giving me a noogie! It’s a win win! Well, if you say yes, that is…”

Shaking your head, you laughed as your whole body softened in relief. Your arms slipped around his neck as you hugged him tightly. “Yes, obviously!” You told him. “Yes! I love you.” Naruto hugged you back just as fiercely. When he finally pulled away, he didn’t hesitate. His hand reached up to cup your cheek as he leaned forward, pressing a sweet, soft kiss to your lips.

Well, you guessed your friendship was officially ruined. But suddenly, you didn’t mind so much.

[achillieus]

let you down. (sebastian stan x reader)

summary: it's a universal truth but it's worth repeating; feelings eat us raw. or just an actor and a girl falling in and out of love over the course of three months.

(this was inspired by sebastian's visit to greece for his movie, monday, and is based on that, so that means in the story we’re in 2018. also i have this posted on ao3 too but while i’m writing the last parts i thought of posting it here too)

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: alcohol, sexual references, implied depression, don’t kill me because of the ending, sebastian and reader are the definition of right person wrong time, it's kinda slowburn because i love the yearning, also this part has some funny moments but overall it’s a big SOB

part: 6/6 (there will also be an epilogue)

(other parts)   (masterlist)

This is how it ends: broken hearts from crashed dreams.

Sebastian holds you until his muscles ache and your lungs burn from the feeling of too little oxygen. It is cold and dark, almost midnight, too dark, a starless night.

No more stars for you and I.

“Here,” Voice hoarse, eyes heavy-lid and itching from almost crying. He gives you one of the rings he wore in the movie. “I want you to keep this.”

Keep it close to your heart. Forget me not.

He takes a breath and a step back, tries to regain all the strength he still has, steady feet and shoulders fixed. He digs his nails into his palms, red marks in his skin, air catching in his throat, he’s on the verge of falling but he stays standing.

He remembers tears glistening down his cheeks, maybe they were yours not his, and the cold autumn wind hitting his face and he remembers feeling like he’s dying.

And then he closes the door of Argyris’ car and looks at you.

And his heart stretches and stretches and stretches and then somehow splits in half.

/

It goes like this:

There’s a ghost that lives in your apartment from now on. In the living room. Sitting on the couch. And it has steel blue eyes and a familiar heart. And it whispers a love story, half-finished, and you cannot make it stop.

The ghost touches your collarbone and he’s gone but there’s a ring in a golden chain around your neck and a white shirt forgotten in your laundry. And it smells like him. The clinging scent of his aftershave sticking to your pores. Eucalyptus. And no matter how hard you try to wash it off, it still lingers.

How could I ever forget someone like you?

The ghost lives here, but the place is empty, so empty. And it’s hard not to cry.

/

Sebastian calls and texts a lot.

He tells you he’s tired but excited because he started filming a new movie. It’s very indie and experimental, I can’t wait for you to see it. He tells you he’s missing his days in Greece like hell and that one night he dreamt of you. Didn’t want to wake up. What he doesn’t tell you is that he’s coming back in a month, Argyris needs him for some extra scenes. It’s nearly killing him but he doesn’t tell you. He wants to surprise you, see the pure light in your eyes when they’ll meet his.

/

You try sexting. It doesn’t go very well.

23:50, sebastian: if you were here in my bed right now what would you be doing

06:51, you: probably falling asleep hahaha

06:51, you: oh fuck was i supposed to sext back

06:51, you: sorry seb i just woke up and i have a class in an hour, love you <3

23:52, sebastian: fuck timezones

/

(three weeks and 10 seconds later)

“I can’t believe she doesn’t know you’re here,” Argyris shakes his head as he’s driving home from the airport, “If I were her, I’d kill you.”

“Good thing I didn’t fall in love with you.”

Sebastian laughs and looks out of the car window. The stars. There are so many stars tonight. He holds his breath; he’s finally feeling whole again. His heart isn’t split in two anymore.

/

You don’t know how long you stand there at your door, staring at him, but it feels like a century before he grins, almost laughs, takes your hands in his and you start considering that perhaps this isn’t a hallucination. Perhaps it’s real.

“Surprise?”

Something inside of you bursts, your organs twitch. You can’t think, you can’t speak, but you can move. You don’t lose any more time, you take a step forward, attach your bodies, your face buried in his neck, your fingers clutching into the rough fabric of his jacket. You breathe him in like an antidote.

“How?”

“Does it matter?”

“No.”

You kiss him and it’s like poetry, like art, like honey and you can’t separate yourself from him, not even hours later.

/

(looking back, these were the golden days)

You pretending to be mad at him for not telling you he was coming back and him pressing his lips on your skin, drawing patterns on your naked shoulder. A feathery touch.

Sebastian always touches you like you’re something made of gold and porcelain, something cherished that constantly needs to be treasured. And nobody has done that before. And you love him for it.

You try to decorate your Christmas tree together. He messes with the lights for a while, eventually gives up and goes on to eat too many reindeer shaped cookies.

He massages your muscles when you write a boring essay for college.

You go with him when he has to shoot a “driving a motorcycle naked in the centre of Athens” scene and you bite the inside of your cheeks to stop smiling like an idiot.

He gives you a dress he bought for you in New York.  

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

He calls you sweetheart in the mornings, still half asleep and later joins you in the shower.

“Why are you so hot?”

“Climate change”

“Oh, shut up”

It’s tender and it’s soft and it’s human.

And that’s the saddest part.

/

Soon you realize that him leaving two months ago was merely a rehearsal and you still haven’t said your actual goodbyes. Your chest starts to feel as if it’s full of crushed glass.

And it’s ridiculous because you fell in love with Sebastian sometime between the first ten days you spent together.

Who falls in love in ten days?  

Ridiculous or not, you know you are in love with him just as you know that sooner or later, whatever he is feeling will fade and wither. Maybe it’ll be in a week, maybe it’ll be in a month, maybe in a year if you’re lucky. But there will definitely come a day when he will step out of a gala or a party or a fancy gym in New York with a beautiful model in his arms and two paparazzi’s following him around.

What will you be then?

A past small cameo in his life. A side character. Will he remember your name?

He is your whole world.

(a bottle of cheap prosecco helps you decide that)

He is your whole world.

And yet, there will come a day when he won’t even remember your name.

/

It was difficult. No, it was the most difficult thing you’ve ever done. Telling him how you think it’d be better if you didn’t talk after he leaves.

“I don’t agree with this.”

“Seb, it’s for the best.”

Your body doesn’t feel strong enough to carry your heart. And you’re certain it will only get worse once he’s away. The world around you will melt. You’ll obsess over a phone screen and his messages. You’ll start chasing ghosts again. You can’t handle that.

“Why?” He says urgently and his fingers dance over the flesh of your palms.

“Because this”, you motion your hand between the two of you, “is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had in my life and I don’t want it to become ugly.”

He nods, he understands.

“I love you, you know,” he says smiling and tugs you closer to him, “And I may not be here to show you but I think I’ll love you for a long time.”

Your hand grips his waist right to the bones and something flares in your eyes, something wild that wrenches you around.

“I know, I’ll love you the same.”

“Maybe we’ll meet again.”

“Only if I’m the luckiest girl on the planet.”

He laughs and you look at him, fully aware he’ll be ripped out of your life like a page from a cheap leather notebook. And when you kiss for the last time, there’s a hole forming in your soul.

And just because endings don’t leave visible scars to one’s body and soul, that doesn’t mean the scars don’t exist. You know they do, because you feel the aching pain of every single one of them.

/

(every night when you close your eyes you see him)

(every night you look at the stars and think of him)

/

A month passes and Argyris asks you if you miss him.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“He said the exact same thing.”

You tell him not to mention Sebastian again.

Two months pass and you need to stop stalking his instagram profile.

Three months pass and you almost text him.

Four months pass and you go to watch Endgame with some friends and you cry. You cry when Black Widow sacrifices herself and when Iron Man smiles at his wife while dying, and when Bucky Barnes appears on screen.

The others don’t understand and you don’t blame them.

Five months pass and Argyris’ girlfriend wants you to meet someone. A charming boy your age with blonde hair and a lip piercing.

And he's cute but you compare him to Sebastian even before he has the chance to say his name. His eyes are not the right shade of blue and he doesn’t look at you like you’re made of the world’s finest jewel.

And he doesn’t know any constellation names.

And then more than a year passes in a second and you learn to not look for him. Not anymore.

/

It’s early March 2020 and despite the rising fear of the upcoming pandemic, you’re doing well. Scars are starting to fade. And after spending two weeks in Prague, your best friend being there with an exchange program, Sebastian Stan is the farthest thing from your mind.

Until he literally comes crashing into you. At the airport.

No, it can’t be him.

You have your suitcase on one hand and a bottle of antiseptic gel on the other. He has two bodyguards on his sides and a black hoodie on.  And while half of his face is hidden behind a mask, you can see his eyes perfectly. A frozen lake in December. You would know those eyes in your deathbed, at the end of the world.

Your vision gets blurry and suddenly you feel cold.

He won’t recognize me, he can’t.

But then he looks at you and every memory you had buried inside of you resurfaces.

He motions to his guards to wait for him and he starts walking towards you. You breathe slowly, one breath at a time. He takes his mask off and you hesitate to take yours, not sure if you truly want him to see you.

You exchange the typical and very awkward hi, how are you, i’m glad you’re doing okay and then he smiles and it feels comfortable. Familiar.

It’s the whiff of another time that you always kept around. A reminder that you were once loved by a god.

“What are you doing here?”

“Filming Falcon and the Winter Soldier”

If you hadn’t unfollowed him on instagram, you’d known.

“Ah yes I heard about that, congrats.”

He nods a thank you.

“And you? In Prague?”

“I was at a friend.”

He looks conflicted, hurt, turns his gaze to his shoes on the grey cement. You want to say something, but you feel like throwing up.

And then he laughs.

“I was right.”

You’re confused, he notices.

“Back in Greece,” he swallows, “I told you this would happen.”

“It would have been an airport, different gates for each of us, but same waiting hall. Or a Greek island, where we’d both be for the summer.”

“I would have found you.”

You remember and you cannot help but smile. He was right. He found you.

“I didn’t believe you then.”

I barely believe you now.

He touches your hair. And his touch is like a knife. And you want to cry. Magnolias under your tongue. A love long lost is whispering in your ears until it hurts to listen. He’s like a magnetic field and you feel yourself drowning in him.

“I bet they’ll ask me a hundred questions about you later.” He says and looks at the two men waiting for him.

“And what will you tell them?”

“That you’re most probably the love of my life.”

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

“There’s no way we’d meet here if you’re not.”

“Sebastian,” His name sounds like a prayer coming out of your lips and you're ready to tell him you love him and you can swear he looks like he’s ready to faint, “I-”

The guards yell his name. And it's the same feeling people have just before a car crash.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.”

One last look.

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

You repeat it over and over again. But you fail.

“No, don't cry” He smiles, one last smile, “Just look at the stars and wait for us to meet again, because we will.”

He caresses the back of your palm for a second and you think your ribcage is shattering but it’s only your heart drumming frantically. Pushing your fragile bones to break. 

You want to stop him, wrap your arms around his torso, never let him go. Not again. But you don’t.

You just watch him leave, one more time, your knees weak, your head heavy and dizzy. For the split of a moment he turns and glances at you but then he’s nowhere to be seen.

Perhaps it was all in your imagination. Perhaps it was nothing but a wonder.

You get into your plane and you silently sob.

/

And then it’s summer.

And you overhear he was seen with a girl, the day before your vacation starts and you find a picture of them together a week later, a pretty blonde girl clinging to his side with a colorful bikini somewhere in Spain. And he’s smiling. And you feel so ashamed. And so stupid.

They say time heals all wounds but they must be wrong because you can’t forget how he used to smile at you or how he used to call you the love of his life.

Was he joking when he said you'll meet again? You bet if you asked him now, he wouldn't even remember saying it.

I’ll love you for a long time.

So long for nothing.

/

i really appreciate feedback, it motivates me tons and also tell me if you’d like to be tagged :) also i’m really sorry if you asked me to tag you and i didn’t  but i lost a lot of asks and the urls of the people that sent them :( 

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[drabsyo]

I was wondering...I was always confused about Narcissa’s hair. It’s been a while since I read the books. Did she color it blonde to show her now belonging to House Malfoys. Or was it naturally blonde? Movies confused me a bit I guess.

Yes, this had me confused too! I've agonized and toiled over it, more than I probably should, about how I should draw her hair because people have generally different views, which is totally understandable! 💕

And I've always wanted to discuss it, so now that I've been given a reason to... Well.

If you take a look at some of my Narcissa fanart, you'll notice the different ways I'd color her hair. I was so confused. Is she a light blonde? Dark blonde? A mix of raven hair and blonde hair? If she has blonde hair then why does her family have (mostly) dark hair? And WHY does she have blue eyes?! This woman is absolutely confusing! (Which is kind of, you know, fitting because Narcissa always loves to be a mystery to literally anyone lol)

So I did my homework, asked around, and scoured every bit of information, canon or otherwise, that I could find about her. It led me to this:

In canon, this is what the Black sisters look like. You can find the page here. Narcissa is a child here, and already has blonde hair. So we can go ahead and safely assume that she was born with natural blonde hair. But in the films, Narcissa has black and blonde hair. I don't actually know why they gave her that hair color, maybe so that the audiences wouldn't question her blood relations with the Blacks--I don't know. I really don't. But now we have a book version Narcissa, one who has full blonde hair. And a movie version Narcissa, one who has raven and blonde hair. At least, that's how the different hair colors started: a movie version, and a book version.

So... here's where it gets confusing.

To my knowledge, it isn't actually explained why her hair color is the way it is in both the movies and the books. Having blonde hair does raise many questions, how is she the "only" blonde in a family of dark hair and dark eyes? To top it all off, it gets even more confusing, because fanon writes and draws her either as a full blonde or a mix of raven and blonde hair. We just have this large pile to sift through of her having either hair color. No one actually explains anything. She's just... infuriatingly there. She's either blonde or raven haired and blonde. BUT fanfiction writers, as I've observed, give their own reasons why Narcissa's hair color is the way it is in their respective stories. And it's actually pretty creative and interesting! It adds even greater depth to her character, and it fits the narrative of the story even better. Remember, the character we're dealing with is Narcissa Black. One of her main traits is "she won't do anything unless there is a clear purpose behind it." This character is deliberate, meticulous, and she makes sure to plan ahead at all times. And so, some fanfiction writers decide to play on that.

You can skip this part if you want to avoid spoilers but I've compiled a small list of instances in (Cissamione) fanfiction where Narcissa's hair is mentioned.

🔹 In Extinction by rubikanon in Chapter 10: Build and Break, Hermione asks Narcissa about it. Here, Narcissa has black and blonde hair. She explains that she only decided to dye it blonde to "fit in with the Malfoys." We can gather two things from that alone, which resonates with her character perfectly: 1.) Narcissa is loyal and 2.) Narcissa purposefully wants to show the rest of the world how loyal she is by committing to having blonde hair. The woman has some serious commitment, and it shows. But now, the way that it's slowly growing back into her natural black hair color, hints that perhaps Narcissa no longer wishes to fit in with the Malfoys. However, if we take an even closer look, we can safely assume that Narcissa isn't the kind of person to just leave her hair color "unattended" like that. Remember, she's meticulous. And this is a big deal for her, the fact that she's just kind of letting it grow back instead of either fully dyeing it back to black, or dyeing it back to blonde. It suggests that perhaps she's a little unsure this time, perhaps it is her uncertainty that is the reason why it's now a mix of both. Another grey area? Or maybe it's actually something more deliberate? Maybe now, she likes that it's a mix of both. That other half now being solely for Draco, and not to fit in (completely) with the Malfoys any longer. Who knows why Narcissa does things the way she does? We can speculate to the ends of the earth, or be as smart as Hermione Granger (or with the case of Extinction, see Hermione's thoughts), but something tells me we'd still be a good step behind.

"Which one is your natural hair color?" I wondered aloud.

(Narcissa) She glanced up at the unexpected question. I was relieved she hadn't sensed my attention yet. It's not like I meant anything by it, I told myself. She was so beautiful, one couldn't help but notice. And feel physically drawn to her. And want to see her two-toned hair fanned across her back, slipping over the bare skin, silky beneath my fingers...

"Why do you ask?" Her query brought me back to reality, and I hurriedly corrected my imagination to include a pretty dress covering the rest of her.

"I don't know." I chewed the inside of my cheek, suppressing my other thoughts. "I'm just curious."

Her gaze returned to the fire. "You've seen enough of my relatives to guess which color is genetic. The blond is something I added to fit in with the Malfoys, after Draco was born." She was quiet for a moment. "He looks so much like his father. I suppose I wanted to share some resemblance."

🔹 In Killing Me Softly by Looktotheedges in Chapter 4: Nagging, Hermione suggests that perhaps Narcissa is part Veela because of her blonde hair and very attractive features, like Fleur. Which is this whole other theory/plot that's very interesting, but won't be discussed in this post. Narcissa tells Hermione that Sirius has always been blonde, and that it isn't out of the question for her to be blonde either. Sirius Black. A blonde. I know! Maybe it's there because it's funny that Sirius is actually blonde like Narcissa. Prissy, haughty, lady-like Narcissa. Arguably the 'girliest' cousin that he has. No, no, no. He doesn't want to be anything like Narcissa. Anyway, if that's the reason, I think that's hilarious and cute.

Narcissa turns away. 'I am aware my appearance is frightfully drab. Work has been…'

Hermione holds back a disbelieving scoff. 'Narcissa. You always look beautiful. And you’re talking to the witch with grass in her hair who practically lives in her office all week.'

Narcissa just leans further over the crib. 'A blonde little boy. It has been so long since… I can almost imagine…'

Hermione stands next to her. Looks down at the peacefully sleeping Louis. He does look remarkably like Draco. 'Are you sure there’s no Veela blood in you? You weren’t secretly switched at birth?'

'Like a changeling?'

'It would explain your blonde hair.'

'Sirius was also blonde, it is not completely out of the question for us Blacks.'

What?!

(...) 'I know. But it is the truth. He was blond until he was about seven�� then it began to darken. Mousy. Dull. He wanted to look cool and brooding instead, so he got his hands on some kind of charm right before he set off for Hogwarts. A new, edgy Sirius. It was around then he forbade us from calling him Siri. Said it sounded too girly.'

🔹 In Fixed in Time by TheWorldsaBeastofBurden in Chapter 9: Sisters and Saviors, it's also tackled a little humorously. Andromeda let's a little comment slip while they're in the middle of trying to heal Hermione. Something funny, something that suggests Andromeda and Bella, when they were children, have always wondered why Narcissa is blonde unlike them.

The first words spoken occurred after they’d risen and attempted their casting. Andromeda’s preparedness to take on their task had been clear in her mind so Narcissa rose with her sister, wrapped an arm around her waist and held her near as the woman raised her wand to draw up the rest of the injury she’d dropped, half a slash across Hermione’s hip bone…

That remained half, as Andromeda growled out, “...it isn’t working.” she looked to Narcissa, “Why aren’t you powering me?”

What nonsense? “I am!” she insisted. She was! Or “I- I am trying to!” Her magic was active and alive, pulsing to rise from her skin and transfer into Andromeda’s but it- it wasn’t working! “Could...could it be that you were disowned?”

“Disowning doesn’t take away the fact that we share blood, our magic is directly related. Ugh, Bella always said you were adopted!”

“Oh ha- oh.”

“...oh?” Andromeda returned.

“...it’s not an issue of power. It is what I intend to aid in casting,” Narcissa slowly worked out. Oh, it was most blessed Mister Goyle could be brought to assist the present Hermione. If her present self had been brought to aid Andromeda? “...I cannot harm Hermione.”

Andromeda sighed with some frustration. “I understand you are so tenderly in love-”

“It isn’t- I’m avowed! I- when we arrived from the future we had to escape Malfoy Manor, I couldn’t bring Hermione through the wards without...I couldn’t add her directly, that would be visible. I had to...attach her permission to mine.”

🔹 In Glass Silence by Zarrene Moss (Menzosarres), which probably gives one of the most interesting backstories for Narcissa's hair, for why it's blonde. I can't put a clip of the scene here without hogging up a huge chunk of space on your dash, so I'll try to explain it as best I can instead.

Understand that these come with serious 🛑spoilers🛑 so please do read it at your own risk.

In Glass Silence, Narcissa's hair and eye color was black at birth. But after an accident with raw magic, something Bellatrix wasn't able to control when they were children, Narcissa almost dies. Bellatrix, using even more raw magic, tries desperately to pull Narcissa's "life force" back, but at the cost of losing the eumelanin that made Narcissa's eyes and hair black. Narcissa survived, but now has very little eumelanin left, which is why she's so pale, blonde, and has blue eyes. Every time Narcissa looks at a mirror, her reflection is a reminder of the day she almost died. Bella, on the other hand, is reminded of that day every single time she looks at Narcissa.

So! These are only a few fanfictions I could think of at the top of my head that tackles the issue of Narcissa's hair. In the books, to my knowledge, she is described as having blonde hair and very pale skin.

But let's take another deep dive, if you're up for it.

These are mostly theories, which are largely unconfirmed, but I think they're interesting to think about.

There's this description in the wiki:

"Narcissa Malfoy is described as tall, slim, "nice looking", and very pale, with blue eyes, long blonde hair, and a clear, cold voice. Her hair colouring thus differs from most of the House of Black, who generally have dark hair, though Narcissa does possess the arrogant good looks characteristic of her family."

There's also this pinterest photo of the Black sisters being compared to each other side by side, descriptively and physically. I'm so sorry, I don't know who drew it, but here's a link to the post on pinterest.

"Narcissa threw back her hood. She was so pale she seemed to shine in the darkness... long blonde hair streaming down her back."

Which is interesting because this hints that she's... different. It's a bit literal in this sense--she comes from a pureblood family, arguably the most influential and notorious one, the Blacks, who mostly have dark hair and eyes, and yet her physical appearance directly contrast that. There's also the matter of her namesake. She's the only Black to be named after a flower instead of a galaxy or a star. We aren't really given any explanation why she's the only one who's different. Even Sirius, who fought and died for the side of the Light, is named after the brightest star in the sky. Even Andromeda. It's been said that this is actually meant to be a parallel of some sort to Lily Evans. Narcissa and Lily are both named after flowers, even Petunia (Lily's sister). And I know there's this thing where it's a tie up to how Harry was ultimately saved by a mother's love: Harry lived at the beginning because of his mother's love, and Harry lives once again at the end of the books because Narcissa, a mother who wanted to save her own son, saved him.

If you read that scene in the books where Harry is saved by Narcissa, the whole scene is actually... pretty soft? There's that sort of disarming softness about Narcissa in that moment, where Harry expected to be callously dragged and prodded for a heartbeat. Instead, he gets a surprisingly gentle touch, a curtain of long blonde hair shielding him from the darkness, and the kind of tenderness he wouldn't expect from his enemies, "Is Draco alive?"

It's almost like Narcissa's appearance is something of a "tell". With Andromeda, she's described to have kind eyes, open, unguarded. She inherited her family's dark eyes and dark hair, and she even looks like Bellatrix's twin. I suppose we could say, Andromeda wants to fight that in any way she can by being openly kind. Narcissa is quite literally the opposite--guarded eyes, stoic expressions, cool and calculated emotions. We're veering into this fine line between fanon and canon in terms of their characterization (but only due to lack of canon materials) but personally, I think Narcissa having blonde hair and blue eyes is somewhat more fitting for her character. Again, this line:

"Narcissa threw back her hood. She was so pale she seemed to shine in the darkness... long blonde hair streaming down her back."

It's like that one glaringly obvious hint that everyone overlooks simply because... because it's the most obvious one. "Me! I'm different! I'm the last person you'd expect, but it really is me!"

Anyway. I've rambled on long enough. Hope this clears up some of that confusion, anon. Hoping it didn't ADD even more confusion... 😂 At the end of the day, this is just me speculating, gushing, and being One Big Fool™. So.

But either way, blonde hair, dark hair, mix of both, I adore her. Pretty much.

[tteokdoroki]

then they laughed | s.todoroki.

⇝ pairing: shoto todoroki x fem!reader.

⇝ word count: 1.7K

⇝ rating: suitable for everyone.

⇝ genre: fluff.

⇝ summary: you’d never been ashamed of your quote on quote ‘ugly’ laugh but you’re not quite sure what to make of it when your crush mistakes it for mild choking or the one in which shoto todoroki mistakes your laugh for choking in the middle of the school cafetria. 

⇝ warning(s): please read ! fluffy, angst if you squint,  clueless todoroki and mentions of choking ( non-sexual ).

⇝ author’s note(s): why hello there darlings, here’s a little drabble requested by @patricia-ceballos​, i thought this idea was super cute, i’m not sure how i feel about the ending but i had a lot of fun writing. oh and thank you so much for 600+ follows, i love you all. :( <3

⇝ masterlist | requests

you’d always thought that you had an ugly laugh.

it’s not that you were ashamed of it, never that, but you knew the twisted high pitch stream of giggles that passed your sweet unsuspecting lips could be kind of off putting to others. even so, that never put you off from laughing and joking about with your friends— if they truly cared for you, then having a slightly maniac-like laugh wouldn’t be a problem for them.

your classmates at U.A seemed to be those types of people. the good kind that you could trust wholeheartedly— the first time they’d heard you laugh, ochako had chuckled along with you, izuku had thought it was part of your quirk and bakugou had simply asked if you needed a ‘fucking throat lozenge?’  which only made you burst out into more streams of unintelligible giggles.

right now though, you try your best to stifle your giggles while you watch ochako and deku helplessly try to avoid admitting their feelings for one another over lunch. “what’s wrong deku? are you feeling sick?” the sweet brunette asks, almost impossibly close to the latter’s now beet red face. you can tell that he’s flustered by her proximity; the words he wants to say falling flat on his tongue.

ochako blinks for a second— as if to realise her mistake and quickly backs up, drowning in embarrassment and her silly crush on izuku midoriya. the girl stumbles back into iida, giving him only moments to process his now dropped food before he’s scolding them into next week— hands flying through the air while he barks out his complaints. trying not to laugh is becoming unbearably harder by the second, even asui is falling victim to the scene of comedy displayed right in front of your eyes and its not until you look up and meet the confused gaze of shoto todoroki that the dam finally breaks.

“what’s so funny?” the dual eyed boy says so blankly that even he is comical to you. you break out into fits of hysteria, slamming a hand over your mouth as your snorts launch their way across the table. shoto blinks, brows pinching in the centre of his forehead— is there a joke he’s missing? something he said?

the cluelessness of the half hot, half cold boy before you only sends you spiralling into more bursts of laughter— easing the embarrassment off of the two helpless flirters and effectively calming iida down while they join you in your chuckling session. “its...it’s just that—!” you can barely explain yourself, bold snickers punctuating each of your words as humoured tears begin to form in the corners of your dazzling eyes.

todoroki’s mood now shifts from bewildered to concerned, the short wheezes that pass from your pretty lips send shivers of worry down his spine. why is everyone laughing? can no one at the table see what’s happening? standing from his seat, the number one’s son brushes past tsuyu to get to your side— when he reaches you, your eyes sparkle with amusement despite the horrid sounds that leave you and a frown takes over his angekic face.

“don’t worry yn, i’ll help you.”

still trembling with a case of the giggles you have little time to process the dual haired boy’s words before he’s hoisting you from your seat, you think he’s trying to calm you down from the way his heated hand pats on your back ( five times to be exact ) but when his strong arms wrap around you— suddenly pumping your stomach, you realise.

todoroki is performing the heimlich manoeuvre on you.

shoto todoroki thinks your laughter is choking.

heat flushes to your cheeks as shoto moves to pump your stomach again, his broad chest pressed intimately against your back. the snickers from your friends at your lunch table stop— silence sweeping over them and you’re suddenly hyper aware of the stares you draw from other u.a students in the canteen. their judging eyes tear you down and crawl over you, leaving an uneasy feeling to settle in your bones but you’re too paralysed by embarrassment— too frozen to tell todoroki to stop.

you know he only means well, he didn’t know any better and he was only trying to help a friend in need but did he really mistake your laughter for choking? was it really that ugly?  

a fresh set of tears prickle in your eyes, this time however, they’re not laced with the happiness you gain from being around your friends. before shoto has another chance, you pull away from him slightly with a small whimper pours from your flustered form. “stop... todoroki, please— stop...”

the boy’s hold on you loosens, he recognises the broken tone laced with your usually jubilant voice which gives you enough room to make a dash for it. blinking, todoroki turns to his group of friends, confused  as escape the cafeteria and wolfish stares from your fellow students.

“s-she wasn’t choking, todoroki— she was laughing with us.” izuku explains carefully, fidgeting underneath his classmates strict gaze. the shorter feels almost bad for shoto, knowing he’s probably kicking himself for upsetting you even as you flee.

but his worries are soon eased as todoroki races after you.

launching yourself down the corridor, you use the sleeve of your grey blazer to run away the remaining tears that sting at your eyes. students from across all years watch you go by with looks of either annoyance or concern, but you move to quickly to care— throwing yourself into an empty hall and sinking to your knees. the heat of embarrassment blistering underneath the skin of your cheeks doesn’t ease up as you desperately paw at them, frustration intertwining with the air in your lungs… because, because it had been years since you last felt ashamed of your unconventional laughter, because you thought that enough time had gone by for you to no longer feel insecure about it.

you had good friends here at u.a, ones that didn’t judge you for your unusual habit but the scene yourself and todoroki had created back in the canteen only brought on bad memories reminding you of all of your insecurities from the past.  

sighing heavily; you brace yourself to return to lunch with your friends, tripping over flimsy excuses in your mind for your sudden disappearence when a pair of well polished, brown school shoes come into view from over the tops of your knees.

“there you are, ln.” shoto’s voice is warm while he speaks to you, you’d always thought that. its deep like melted chocolate ready to be tempered and somewhat soothes your nervously thumping heart. you can’t bring yourself to look at him, knowing that there’s probably a pink tint to your eyes from where you’ve been crying but the boy with the two-toned hair persists, still wanting your attention. “the others…the others and i, were worried about you.”

you shake your head, fixing your gaze on a lose thread on the hem of your skirt that sits above your knees. “ah!, todoroki! you shouldn’t worry about me…just head back to the cafeteria before your cold soba gets… well, colder!” a frown pinches at the corner of your lips, settling heavily on your face. you don’t even find yourself convincing but hope todoroki believes your hopeless words anyways. “i’ll be with you guys in just a moment.”

but to your dismay, the youngest son of endeavour slides his back down the wall to sit next to you instead.  “did i hurt you?” he mumbles awkwardly. todoroki itches to reach out and comfort you— it seems like something you would do for him but he’s never been good with situations like these.

“no! no shoto,” this makes you look up, catching the light in the cyan of his eyes. the pair of you blush, flicking your gazes away from one another. “i’m fine!”

“were you crying?”

“certainly not!”

“but your face—“

“shut up!”

“not until you tell me why you ran.” god, was he persistent. blunt and straight to the point, was shoto todoroki.

suddenly your feet become more interesting that the boy beside you, a silence sweeping over you both. “because,” you pause, trying to taste the words on the tip of your tongue before you say them. “i was embarrassed! the whole cafeteria heard my ugly laugh and thought i was—“

“choking,” todoroki finishes for you, finally finding the courage to rest an icy hand on your shoulder. “i’m sorry yn, i didn’t mean to make you feel embarrassed about your laugh,” sorrow litters the tail end of the half hot, half cold boy’s words— making them sit heavily in the air. “midoriya explained to me, i really didn’t mean to make you feel that way, i was just worried about you.”

you soften up, finally meeting his gaze once more and sniffle a little— chest warming at his concern for you. “shoto, it’s okay...” you’re quiet in your response, leaning into his cold touch but the dual eyed boy only shakes his head.

todoroki turns to face you fully, shrinking the space between you. he’s so close that you can see the flecks of grey in each of his eyes and feel the warmth from his breath fanning across your cheeks. “even if i can be...socially unaware sometimes, i still don’t want to hurt your feelings. they’re important to me,” he tilts his head, offering you a small smile enough to make a million hearts melt. “and for what it’s worth, i think your laugh is quite cute. not ugly.”

you blink, wondering if you heard him correctly and press a hand to your cheeks that now hear you’ll, as if you’ll be able to cool them down. “y-you think my laugh is cute?”

“yes, and i’d love to hear more of it over dinner sometime.”

his face is as serious as ever while he speaks, but the shine to his eyes tells you a different story as todoroki offers you a hand to stand up. “was that a pick up line, shoto?” you ask, barely being able to keep it together as little shots of laughter litter themselves through your sentences.

“i’m not sure...what’s a pick up line again?” you burst into joyful tears, obnoxious laughter filling the corridors as the boy on your arm guides you to your next class. you care little for the stares that your ugly laugh attracts, just happy that it puts a little smile on shoto todoroki’s face.