#this scene is sooooooo heartbreaking to me

[submissiveness]

[mercedesssssss]

insane scene. let's discuss.

first, him watching her walk up, like he Knows who she was probably just with, and the heartbreak but also just *in awe of her* anyways on his face is sooooooo 😵‍💫

the way when she walks up and he just doesn't say anything for a moment, it shows #tome that he's thinking abt It.

secondly, him saying "normally I'd take care of this but the guy looked sketchy" or whatever the hell.... BE SERIOUS what are you talking about "I'd take care of this" like ... can't take him srsly sometimes like okay honey that was an awful excuse but i love you dearly anyways

like he could've called abbott, cho, fischer, but he called lisbon not just bc he prob knew abt the date, not just bc she's his partner, but simply bc he wants to see Her.

At any time.

For any reason.

Ever.

thirdly, her being like "you called me out here for duck tape?" & him being like "you need to trust me" is just so important to me because even though it's glossed over in this scene, (they don't spend any time on it, it's not the main point of the scene) her trusting him has always been so important to him. It certainly would be now more than most any other time considering how Tense everything is.

and then her just not believing him and immediately jumping to the conclusion that he wanted to screw up her date, which honestly as a viewer isn't big of a stretch at all but surface level it kind of reminds me of the s5 "I'm not you're girlfriend" line, bc in terms of the situation it kind of comes out of left field, just like in that s5 scene, but on a *everything* level it's both subconsciously lisbons feelings for jane coming out AND her wanting Him to talk abt his feelings for Her, & it's so insanely good bc she's totally right to think it

and then he continues on to *try* to act like he didnt know! and its funny here especially because, yes, the show has shown he's a great liar, we know this, but sometimes he's not (here) and when it comes to This (the jisbon of it all) it was just getting harder and harder to keep lying and pretending and that's why here he kind of does a TERRIBLE JOB

and in another circumstance that conversation couldve ended up going in a totally different direction, except for the fact that he was being partially truthful in his reasoning for calling her, because while he did have all those other reasons behind calling Her specifically, he also did call her bc he genuinely thought/knew someone was in trouble.

so then #it gets put aside once he convinces her and they go inside.

like I said, insane scene.

in conclusion, jisbon tension angst pining yearning etcetcetc all very loved by me 🫶

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

my top ten favourite PJSK events so far!! (no particular order)

- A Once-In-A-Lifetime Pandemoniun

in general, i love silly little school trip moments!! Pandemonium was just lovely. Rui and the three friends he made <333 2-B boys you will always be famous to me. the surprised Pikachu face Rui pulled every time they were nice to him and included him in their banter, literally wanted to sob. Airi and Tsukasa having to stop Shizuku and Rui wandering off. Shizuku and Tsukasa childhood memories. and of course- well, look at my icon. not to mention the CARD SET??? absolutely beautiful. adore the yokai theme, Rui and Shizuku's cards nearly offed me. i stared at them for a good five minutes when they were first leaked

- No Seek, No Find

this is one of the few events that made me cry. Saki, you will always be my favourite Tenma <3 her frustration while being stuck in the hospital, her fear of being left behind, the unfairness, her loneliness, her guilt for worrying her family, her desire to be "normal"- it was heartbreaking. the card set hits so hard too, my favourite L/n cards. and Tera Tera is always in my head, Saki's solo >>>>

- My Colour

this event literally made me fall in love with Shizuku, i wasn't particularly interested in her too much before. the pressure put on her but then how she finally let herself act like herself <33 she's so hardworking and sweet, live laugh love, Shizuku Hinomori. the cards are so pretty, Shizuku looks so angelic in hers <3 and her solo of Colour of Drops sounds lovely as always too even if it's not a song i care about too much

- Musical Twilight Parade

LEO/NEED AND WONDERLANDS X SHOWTIME!! MY TWO FAVE UNITS HAD A CROSSOVER <33333 I LOVE THEM. the card set was underwhelming yes (only really like Rin's) but!! W x S as tour guides... the shenanigans... literally has one of my favourite moments of all time of Rui teaching the L/n girlies how to trespass, he's such a good influence, isn't he <33 OH YES AND ICHINENE'S FIRST MEETING!! THEY WERE SO AWKWARD AND SHY AROUND EACH OTHER AND NOW THEY'RE SO QUIETLY HAPPY WHEN THEY BUMP INTO EACH OTHER. THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. also, it's a Shiho event so. winner!!

- Don't Lose Faith

Leo/need. Leo/need Cryptonloids. they're all so sweeeet. i love L/n Rin so much <333 i can't put into words why, but i just really like the event story, them training for their concert in Sekai and all with the support of Miku and Co. the cards were really cool (more lims should have dyed hair...) and so is the song, Voices. another Shiho win!!

- A Sorrowful Farewell at the Curtain Call

it's the only event that's got Asahi Genbu in it. that. that is it. oh yeah and W x S was threatened with divorce or something. BUT ASAHI <3 cards were interesting... i like the symbolism but they don't particularly like. interest me greatly? What Sort of Ending Are You Wishing For isn't one of my fave fave songs either... yeah, it was mainly the story that carried this event for me!!

- Insatiable Pale Colour

ENA. ENA. ENA. INFINITELY GREY MAKES ME CRY. ENA SHINONOME YOU ARE SO IMPORTANT TO ME. HER STRUGGLES HIT SO HARD </333 also,,, Shinonome siblings </3 the cards are prettyyyy. they suit the vibe of the event so well. ONCE AGAIN. INFINITELY GREY. beautiful song, the last chorus makes me so emotional. how Ena sounds like she's screaming in desperation throughout...

- Welcome to the Forest of Wolves

i adore Miyajou 1-A <33333 appreciated the VBS friendship in it too!! but mainly KohaMinoShiho being the trio ever. cards? beautiful. i adore fairy tale stuff SO much. poor Kohane accidentally causing a scene all around school, bless her <333

- Exciting Picnic

FAIRY. FAIRY CARD SET. FAIRY CARDS. FAIRY MIZUKI. LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE COSTUME-LESS PERMAMENT CARD. ahem. anywayssssss. Ena <33333 and Shizuku <3333 and Rui <333 MY TOP THREE CHARACTERS?? IN THE SAME EVENT??? what are the chances of it ever happening again </3 oh yes Mizuena... Ena cares so much for Mizukiiiiii they're sooooooo zvsbjdodoskkqkallapalqllaa ALSO ENA DEFENDING SHIZUKU FROM HER PUSHY WEIRD BITCH FANS???? I LOVE ENA SHINONOME. oh and surely you don't think i forgot that it was SHIZURUI'S FIRST MEETING? <3

- Island Panic

- THIS EVENT STORY FELT LIKE A FEVER DREAM. IT WAS SO CHAOTIC AND SILLY AND SO VERY W X S <333 there's so many golden scenes in it. Rui threatening to "sleep the big sleep" if he's made to eat veg. them forming a human pyramid that was nearly ruined by Tsukasa having the audacity to sneeze. Shosuke Otori character development. the only card i really liked was Emu's and Starry Sky Melody isn't one of my favourite songs but the story makes up for it!!

[nostalgicatsea]

@iam93percentstardust tagged me to post 5 songs I've listened to the most lately! Thanks, Alle.

If you know, you know. This song had me heaving with sobs in All of Us Strangers. If you haven't watched that movie, please do because it's one of the most beautiful movies I've ever watched in my life. The tenderness in the scene this plays in will stay with me forever. (Okay, I've never actually watched the music video to this so I'm seeing it for the first time and...I didn't expect that.)

Obsessed, obsessed, obsessed. You can hear the desperation, the heartbreak, the pleading, the anger in the track like Lestat is speaking to you without using any words. Do you know how hard that is to accomplish? It sounds like actual dialogue. Haunting and tragic.

It was either this or "Ruin" by Usher & Pheelz, but I didn't want to put two Usher tracks so it's this one because I've lost count how many times I watched this music video. The funkiness. The clean dancing. The footwork! I nearly leapt off my chair to give a standing ovation when I first watched this (I think I did end up shouting when Usher showed up lol). And this is an example of a feature/collab done well. I don't follow BTS, but I'm aware Jungkook is an excellent dancer and this is a fantastic song to show that off.

Lmao...I have to put this here. 1. This is the year of the hater, 2. I'm always here for Drake hate, and 3. Nothing like Kendrick hibernating and then showing up with a nuke. And I just love listening to him. He could read a grocery list and I'd be screaming and clapping.

Because it's summer and this is exactly the vibe I want from a summer bop and the music video is sooooooo good. Love my black widows, my femme fatales. Love Sunmi as an artist. I make sure to watch her music videos whenever she comes out with a new song because I know it'll be something unexpected, intriguing, and offbeat.

Tagging @kiyaar, @citsiurtlanu, @meidui, @ishipallthings, @cowboyhorsegirl, @tinystark616

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Sooooooo!... How the heck do I start this but.. I just wanna discuss about the bathroom scene and the scene after that.. like how the reader confesses that they wanted to be better for her, and discover that radiance can be quite 'rough' if riled up like how she lost her compusure.. that's the realization "wait I'm lesbian?" Tbh I was reading for fun when I discovered your fic, to pass the time and when I continued reading all the chapters days and days later.. "am I actually interested?" Because I have never been interested in long stories very much.. makes me riled up and mad a bit about boring misunderstandings and super SUPER 'CLINCHE' type shit.. it's just disgust me how other writers don't even think it through what they wrote about and the supposed plot they just took and take inspiration off out other writers.. but when I saw your fic... My hating and angry emotions disappear since there are no misunderstandings that make me remember what I read in the past.. tbh I think there are but no? No... I think not.. it just makes me happy to find a fic that got me so aroused on these things.. I'll wait for the trivia probably but I'm still going to be a fan of yours.. by what I said a Fan, yes I truly and genuinely a fan.. I never aroused some things like this so I think I can call myself a fan out of my own decisions so don't feel bad about it.

In my point of view there were no clinche misunderstandings about golden cheese and the reader as well as just boring moments in the story, there was none.. I don't know how much I can say since I have ALOT TO SAY. But I don't want you to hear me ramble, I want you to hear me say what I imagine when I first read the bathroom scene. I truly enjoyed it but what I enjoyed the most was the bathroom scene.. I just find it 'kicky' and 'hot' for some sort of reason.. at the first thought of the reader trying to dress to impress or be better for her Radiance I just slap my face and panic "No,no, no! This is really going to be emberassing" like I can't even dress well for someone so I was a little hesitant on reading a bit since it will be Second Hand embarrassment.. at the next scene where Reader yelled at the staff I just imagined at this point.. "Reader is the one doing this but why am I the one getting emberasse.." like yeah I know we are the reader but reader's rash actions makes me flustered and emberassed.. When golden cheese arrived it made me more flustered then embarrassed.. because when I read a story, my head did its work and made me think of the scene.. when the reader fell on the floor, My heart dropped.. I know this is a story but I'm really picky about stories I read.. since I grew fond of this fic I was a little feeling a heartbreak.. even though it's not real, imagining it would be worst.. so I took a short break on reading a bit, some people would think I'm just overeacting but I experience what reader experience before.. the want to have Attention and the NEED TO HAVE ATTENTION.. I wanted attention in the past because I didn't get any and when I got it.. it made me feel alive, feeling worthy of existed..

thank goodness that habit is gone though, reader current predicament also made me realize that I'm the same as hers, being used and treated like a toy, maybe that's why I've grown attach, don't feel bad though, when I look back into it, I laugh and just say "how useless for me to feel this things when I should look into what's ahead"

..so continue to the story, when golden cheese heard the sound of reader falling, she imeadiately took actions.. and that's when I realize "hey, I'm so dum how can't I realize she's the queen.. she have the key to all rooms obviously" when I think how she got in on the bathroom without breaking the door open.. and on and on the story where golden cheese pick us up.. Her chuckle.. HER DAM CHUCKLE THAT MADE MY LEGS WEAK and my INSIDE FEELING WARM.. like holy-..

AHEM.. so after that confrontation in the bathroom, this was all I could remember.. Golden cheese said to the other cheesebirds she can handle this and left because what could they do? Refuse to their God? After they basically left it all went on about "what's that dress doing here" when golden cheese said that I realized she could see it clearly when she entered.. also How did she feel when saw the reader naked and with all those battle scars? And when the reader answered, "how could I be your treasure when I don't shine enough" yep I saw the reader as an innocent cookie that was too innocent for the outside world to have, so the GOLDEN GOD didn't hesitate to 'Show' how much she's grateful to have the reader.. Like its LITERALLY STATED.. showing a new side.. meaning she was being rough and her composure not even there to stop her what she's doing to the reader just went in and jumped reader lol

Explicit wordings on this one if you still want to read it...

...

..

Basically I imagined that.. how the reader moans was a little loud but a melody on the sovereign ears, kissing.. biting.. licking.. that was all it took to get the reader in such a vulgar mess in front of her Radiance.. how reader back is arching at the aroused feeling.. when golden cheese hands entered.. how it feels her hands to be so firm and good, playing what's reader special part.. it just so good to imagine I can't stop thinking.. and when the other anons send a blog about a golden cheese x female reader 18+.. I didn't know it existed until the link was shown.. basically you inspired how the smut will be? I still imagine the line "deep inside until the reader can see stars" it made me think "wow, must be nice to feel that deep" since I'm not even interested in girls, boys or women, men since I don't find both gender appealing so you can say I'm aroace? But that line made me feel hot inside.. I think you said you held back at the "sensitive scenes" at the other questions of the anons or at the "Lauri talks to herself" I think that was the tag? Yeah.. you said you held back, though it might be nice someday for you to create a smut golden cheese x reader because you technically did a Affogaton x Reader smut on Ao3.. it was good actually..

So much for being innocent.. well I hope you're not uncomfortable by this or I will be so embarrassed.. well I'm an adult so I shouldn't be that embarrassed about these things anyways~

O-oh, don't worry, I'm not uncomfy! Th-this did....c-catch me off-guard, but I'm f-fine with that......! Y-you really keep me on my toes that way, heheheh.....S-still, imagine reading this right after w-waking up.....I-it's a lot......>///////< T-thinking about her hands again......h-how they feel in haaaaaaahhhhh.......t-thanks for that......Nnnnnnnnn....

I-I was debating on whether I should post this, tho, cuz you do go into personal details about yourself, and normally I don't want that, but.....I-in this case, it's not THAT much, so I'll let it through. Just talking about your sexuality is no big deal. That's something that no one should be ashamed of. O-on that note.....I-it really sounds insane to me that my silly fic could've helped someone discover their sexuality......! A-absolutely insane.....! I-I'm not writing for the purpose of "converting people", I write for the target audience of those who know what/who they're attracted to and read fics directed at them....Th-the fact that my writing could've been the thing to make someone learn something about themselves was something I NEVER expected to hear.....even if, it makes sense, with how much fanfic is out there, for fanfic to be the deciding factor for a lotta people in the past....Th-this isn't a complaint, BTW! I'm very happy for you! I-I just....d-don't really know what to say....? I-I'm flattered.....? I guess.....? o//////o I-I'm glad I could do that for you....? A-altho, it might've been a team effort between me and her, heheh.....w-wouldn't be reading my fic if you weren't already attracted to her, right.....? >////////<

B-but, uh....anyway-

Th-the scene you chose to talk about....was one of my favorites to write......so, I'm really happy it left an impact on you.....I-it was one of the first scenes where I actually, like....stopped, looked at myself, and what I was writing, and realized......th-that I might be going off-script a bit.....U-up until that point, sure, there HAD been mentions of sexual stuff, but all of it had been either 1. Story-driven or 2. "Off-screen"....and, I had originally planned for the whole fic to be that way. I didn't intend for it to get TOO spicy for a while, since it's not a smutfic AND I didn't wanna drive away people who could be reading for the story, but....th-that scene ended up getting a bit too outta control......Th-they're naked, and sh-she's holding them, and.....th-then.....s-stuff happens....I-it's a very contained scene, too, not really much story.....

....And....I liked it. I wanted to keep it that way. I-I was nervous making it public, but.....I-I was proud of it.

So.....th-that scene can be blamed for how....there are so many "Reader is horny and can't find relief" scenes after that.....Th-they'd become just as hooked as me.....t-to the thought of being t-treated that way....by.....H-Her Radiance......>////////< I-I still keep the language relatively clean within the fic, but...i-it's still very, very clear what's going on, heh.....

I-it's one of my headcanons that she really likes it when you put in effort to impress her.....Such as trying to dress up nicely, just for her....S-so, yeah, that's why she....she.....pounced them.....I-it's unlike her, but.....I.....I......*squeak* n-nice reward.....f-for being eager.....f-for her......

S-she made sure to let them know they shine so brightly for her.....K-kissing their doubts away.....a-and....*mumble mumble*....h-her hands...u-urging.....and her f-fingers.....*mumble mumble*....her voice....e-encouraging......*mumble mumble*.....stimulating.....*mumble*.....s-sing your god's praises l-loudly.......*mumble*....til you can't think.....*mumble* Y-you're so much better at talking about this than meeeeee.....! >////////<

*COUGH COUGH* ANYWAY TH-THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SH-SHARING AND- AND A-APPRECIATING THAT SCENE THANK YOU SO MUCH AND AS FOR WRITING SMUT I WILL THINK ABOUT IT BUT I DON'T HAVE AN ANSWER YET SOOOOOO......YEAH *falls over*

(T-to be clear, the main reason I don't use explicit language, or wr-write the whole....a-act....is PURELY cuz of the kinda fic this is. It's too story-driven and LONG to be interrupted by smut scenes. The story is the focus. L-like you said, I have written smut before, so it's not like I'm scared to do it......>///////> J-just a bit embarrassed to actually....t-talk about it.......)

[stevie-petey]

hi i’m back!! first of all let me just say how mind blowing your writing is????? EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU M FOR THE AMAZING CHAPTER!!!

im so glad dear billy is ur fav ep from season four too because it’s mine too and oh my god. you did so well in making everything fit so perfectly together bc yk bug not being in st is still such a sad truth for me (and it’s shocking how you aren’t in the writers room for st s5 rn)

but anyways THERES ALOTTT TO UNPACK IN THIS CHAPTER !!

steve and bug first bc holy shiti swear i could feel my heart dropping multiple times while reading about them 

bug asking steve to choose max over her?? and steve pleading with her not to make him choose max over her and saying

“I’m choosing you, Y/N.” and adding 

“I’ll always choose you.” YK WHAT HERES THE FULL SCENE BC IT BROKE ME IN HALF.

[“I’m choosing you, Y/N.” Steve whispers, lips pressed softly against your hair. Your body stiffens, he feels it, but he holds you tighter instead. “I’ll always choose you.”

“Steve…” 

“Please don’t make me say no to you.” He pulls away, grabs your face and makes you look at him. You’re pale, tears wet your lovely face, and all Steve wants to do is fall asleep with you forever. He strokes the crest of your eyebrow, kisses your forehead. “Please don’t make me lose you.”]

PLEASE DONT MAKE ME LOSE YOU?????!?!?!?!?!!? just stab me with bugs pocketknife please.

and before that scene i remember the conversation between them about how steve recalled feeling gutted after seeing nancy and jonathan thinking his night couldn’t get any worse UNTIL HE SAW THE LOOK OF HEARTBREAK ON BUGS FACE and how it made him feel worse knowing he couldn’t have done anything to prevent her from feeling that hurt

[“But that night, it just-it really fucking hurt, you know? Thought I’d never feel anything shittier, that my night couldn’t get any worse. But then… I saw your face.”

“The heartbreak on your face, that fact that I couldn’t do anything to protect you from it. That’s what hurt me the most.”]

..AND THE MOST IMPORTANT LINE OF ALL (TO ME) [“And it’s why I won’t let anything else happen to you.”] and i know steve will try his best to protect her if it meant ensuring bugs safety in the end.

sooooooo who’s gonna tell them that they’ve been eachother’s protectors since day one without even knowing it!

these two are so special to me and it’s just so heartbreaking to see them this way, steve feeling so much fear, and anger :(

i understand his frustration with bug bc everyone can clearly see how she’s putting her own issues aside (despite her literally being cursed with the same thing as my baby max) just to save max and that’s not good bc it’s the BOTH of them that needs saving and bug being stubborn about it isn’t helping steve’s current state :( also i saw ur reply and YOU USING a beatles song is so evil and i love it so so much!!!!!

i’m not ready for bugs visions cause ik shes been carrying sm guilt…with the recent deaths of hopper and billy AND OMG THE NIGHTMARES???? dustin hearing her yell out billy’s name in the middle of the night ☹️ dustin’s being a champ rn LIKE i know he’s not showing it for the sake of his and bugs sanity but i know he’s going crazy in his head bc ITS HIS BIG SISTER?? AND HIS BEST FRIEND?? my poor baby is scared pf losing his bestest friend in the world :( i just need my Henderson siblings happy please </3

and lucas oh lucas!!!! my poor guy he’s literally never been so scared and worried in his entire life until now. THE POSSIBILITY OF LOSING BOTH THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND HIS BIG SISTER IS SO ☹️i need to hug him.

steve and nance r gonna be so best friends (alongside with the loml robin) and i love how they’re becoming more friendly with each other now like the playful banter im ready! (i know they were civil and were already somewhat friends but still) i didn’t particularly enjoy the love-triangle thing in s4 so i’m interested to see how you’ll be dealing with all of it 😭

btw i’m purposely ignoring jon rn. WE DONT SPEAK ABOUT HIM. (he’ll fall to his knees the minute he gets to hawkins and finds out about the curse that vecna gave bug)

ALSO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT I KNOW YOU DONT LIKE TO CHANGE THE CANON TOO MUCH so idk what your plan is with max and bug…but oh my god the survivors guilt bug will carry…im not even ready. max and bug to me is like a literal reflection of each other and their relationship in this story is definitely my favorite thing ever. i don’t even wanna talk about that one scene where bug was yelling at vecna to take her instead. i don’t. i just mentioned it bc i feel so devastated and unready for what’s about to come.

i read smth about how u said there aren’t anymore disagreements between bug and steve!!! and how the rest will just be sad ones AND CUTE ONES (im holding u to that ml) 

does this mean they’ll talk 🤞🤞 i need them to have a proper conversation so i’m crossing my fingers and wishing that we’ll have that conversation alongside with the later conversation between steve and nance (and i believe that it was definitely done for good reasons!)

i listened to in my life while writing this btw and i feel so brave!! 

okay i’m done !! i’m sorry this was long but i appreciate your works and i’m in awe of you !! pls never stop being great!! i hope you’re doing well <333 sending u sm love today lovely <3 e

-🌟🍓

dear billy supremacy !!!

and the entire steve and bug i choose you scene ,,, oh boy theres so many layers to that one specific conversation that i simply cannot wait to dive into later. for now, the entire notion of their relationship is that they chose to love one another !!! bug chose to wait, steve chose to trust her, and they chose to fall in love <333 i firmly believe that true love is choosing to love your partner, not just the chemical reaction in our brains, but the act of staying and trusting to be loved in return - THATS true love.

and steve revealing hes always wanted to help/protect bug <333 i love the porch scene. i love tying things together and also just seeing their growth throughout the seasons. in season 1 the porch scene was heavy with insecurity. bug was weak, back then. she didnt want steve to see how hurt she was (but failed). now we fast forward years later for season 4 and shes actively leaning on steve !!! seeking his comfort !! yet shes also standing her ground, doing what she believes is right (even if shes wrong). and STEVE !! he failed her in season 1, he refuses to fail her again in 4 :((

now bugs whole "hey gang lets focus on max not me haha" will cause a few rifts within the group - everyone knows its unneeded, they all hate shes doing this, but they also know that they cant change bugs mind. its very bittersweet and :///

max and bug ,,, u Get It. they ARE reflections of one another. max is fifteen, same age bug was in season 1. its very very very reminiscent of how bug was back then, stubborn and slightly cold but still so full of love and concern for her friends. max is where bug was, confused and scared and unused to asking (or accepting) help. bug sees this and she also is struggling with this. theyve always had a close relationship, but billys death changed everything and brought them closer together. bug feels a kinship to max, she feels responsible for her, and max knows this and almost resents her for it. its messy and very sad and hard and me not changing canon too much will make things even MORE heartbreaking and sad :(

but on a happier note: YES STEVE AND BUG DO ACTUALLY TALK !!! they have a whole lovely conversation later (in the very last ep lmao) that resolves a Lot i promise guys theyre end game i just like drama and growth.

in my life <333

[mrs-theirin]

quillllll! if i may be so bold...top 5 bg3 moments? (defined HOWEVER you want :P)

ooooooooooh okay spoilers!!! (not in any particular order)

1) astarion finally getting his revenge and the aftermath. beautiful scene. in my playthrough he thanked providence for being his friend and it made me tear up. very good

2) ansur possessing tav to speak through them, that was sooooo cool. i wish more would've been done with ansur but i did feel it set the mood effectively. very very good

3) karlach reacting to gortash's death. give her all the awards. heartbreaking

4) WYLL'S DANCE!!!! SOOOOOOO cute and so wonderful and so sweet amidst the horror of act 2

5) raphael's fight. i think it could've been cooler tbh BUT nothing beats hearing the song. so cool

[sophsun1]

I've been doing a rewatch and I got to 2x15 and the scene where Justin comes home late and Brian is just waiting for him is sooo soft???? Like Brian asks him about what he was researching and the cute banter, the "come over here" *swoon* Brian covering Justin in soft kisses and Justin falling asleep on him. I've always loved that scene but idk why it hit me so differently on this watch. Think I've found a new love for soft Britin where you can actually see how much they adore each other.

Hey anon!

How spooky is this? My next episode in my rewatch is this exact one 👻

The whole episode is amazing from a britin pov, the opening scene at the club with Justin being high af with Michael. I love the line what are you two girls giggling about/no more drugs for you! from Brian idk I live for when they're playful!

We then get Justin thirsting over Brian on the treadmill, jealous Brian literally pissing on their work I hate him sm, then of course a well needed mom!Debbie and Brian scene.

Back to your point though but yes that whole scene is sooooooo soft. (My brain does jump to the parallel of Brian then waiting for him once more in 2x19 in a waaaay more heartbreaking instance)

This man truly cannot sleep without Justin (okay my brain has literally just decided upon a gifset idea from this lmaooo this is exactly how my process works so ty anon!) I'm such a slut for their non lip kisses, when he trails the line of kisses down his back. But their banter coupled with Brian's impatience to get his hands on Justin is both sweet and hilarious at the same time, especially when Mikey interrupts them, and Brian's response to Justin's that was important being so is this. Culminating in Justin being like yeah, wtf was I thinking of course this is more important than Michael and starts aggressively making out with him again only to finally fall asleep mid way and start snoring 😂😂😂

Their soft moments like this are so special because Brian truly is an actions speak louder than words man against Justin who wears it so openly both verbally and physically in contrast to him.

[zalrb]

“Please don’t tell me you’ve been out here the entire time.”

“It’s not going to work,” she cut him off, her voice thick.

“You can’t make me hate you.”

“You left me crying on a bridge in the middle of the night—" Stefan’s face crumpled slightly at the memory “— and I couldn’t hate you then.”

“Damon never changed that, and” — she nearly choked on the name— “Katherine doesn’t get to change that either. You don’t get to change that. It’s us.”

“Everyone always thought it was Damon,” she muttered. “I even thought it was Damon.”

“The one I couldn’t help but love, couldn’t help but want, because he got under my skin, because he’d consume me every time I was with him, right? Couldn’t shake him even after everything he’d done, just this nagging curiosity that became something else, something more than I ever thought it would become.”

“Because it’s you. It’s actually you,” said Elena, nodding. “who I can’t get rid of. Who I can’t help but turn to, who I can’t help but trust, who I can’t help but think about during the summer of dreams, who I can’t help but compare every relationship I have to, who I can’t help but fight for, who I always keep with me. It’s you.”

“You are a part of me and I’m realizing that in a whole new way now.”

IF THIS AINT LOVE IDK WHAT IS. this is sooooooo true. delena tried soooooo hard to steal/copy stelenas dynamic and they failed miserably.

Elena’s lips trembled. “This is what makes you happy?”

“I never said that.”

katherine's just a distraction elena. shes a bandaid at best. we all know youre the solution and cure. all he needs is you.

“All she has to do is show up with tears and regret and that’s all it takes? She’s redeemed?” 

Quickly, Stefan pulled the stake out of and she screamed in momentary pain. He looked around frantically for the threat to find a shell-shocked Damon at the end of the hall, holding a crossbow, looking from Elena to Katherine and back again. “I thought — I thought—”

LMFAO damon still not being able to tell katherine and elena apart is peak comedy and so accurate

I burst out laughing at this

tbh, I think this exchange is the angstiest SE scene I've ever written, even more so than the heartbreak back/affair series.

[prettybubblesintheair]

OMFG

THE HARPIES OMFG, I LOVE YOU FEYD-RAUTHA ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Ok so before i forget

“Then open your mouth like a good girl,” what was this OHMYGOSH, is it HOT in here or what. I LOVE AND ADORE HOW YOU WRITE FEYD, you always write him so deliciously, he’s PERFECTION, the way he worships HIS BARONESS, chef kiss to the million.

The baron still gives me the creeps, he scares me soooooo much, so that scene at the end with the dark room, yeah I’ll pass, no thank you, please just go away with your creepiness you weirdo.

The dress, so that sounded amazing, like really, I was imagining the dress and damn, that would be soooo cool.

The old maids, my hear broke for the bald one, that was so heartbreaking, at least one of them is happy, but I hope in the end maybe the Baroness can help her, like send her as*hole husband to a mission and to be K-word.

The HARPIES again bc I can’t believe he actually k-worded them, like OMG, he’s sooooooo into his baroness that he did do it, like, She must be living the life knowing how much power she haves over him and let’s be real HOW ALL THE POWER SHE HAVES IS BC HE GIVES IT TO HER, like Feyd that so sexy and hot, I love you so much, OH BEST WARRIOR, soon to be BARON, EMPEROR OF ALL.

I’m sooooo sooooo sooo in love with this story, I always say that but like it’s the truth HAHAHHA.

So happy we are about to see the epic fight of Our one true BARON, (ugh that scene from the movie was 🥵🫠❤️‍🔥) obsessed. He’s about to gain all the power from the people and that’s a bye-bye creepy baron.

Alsoooooooooo the reader eating the raw meat, I seriously saw that coming, it was like bound to happen, that’s going to be a strong, healthy baby, a true Harkonnen heir, Feyd is going to LOVE HIM so much I just know it.

Can’t wait for what comes next in this universe, is Paul alive, are they going to Arrakis, is the epic fight happening, are we aiming already to become Emperor’s, if Paul is alive is he going to become an ally to Feyd and the reader, so many questions 💗💗💗 sooo excited.

I hope you are having a fantastic Saturday, thank you for making mine a so much better 💖

— THROWN TO THE WOLVES (VII)

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART THREE PART FOUR || PART FIVE || PART SIX

PAIRING — Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!Reader // Atreides!OC

SUMMARY — Baron Harkonnen throws a celebration in the honour of the na-baroness being pregnant with the heir of his house. Feyd-Rautha's unusual gift for his wife surprises everyone.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — It’s written as an usual x Reader fic without describing anything about the Reader’s looks but I still classified it as an OC as well since she is Paul Atreides’ half-sister. It's the longest chapter so far and I wrote it all yesterday...??? I was afraid that after a few chapters I would start losing interest in writing down the story (as usual) but something completely opposite is happening 😳 I was planning a little in my head and I think the story will have 10 chapters but the last chapter might be very long... I am not sure yet. You see, I have a little OCD and I don't like odd numbers... So there is no way the story will have 11 chapters 🤣 Either 10 or 12. Of course I want to thank everyone showing support to my story and my writing. Special thanks to @everandforeveryours for sending me a link to a helpful Dune lore video and allowing me to use a good idea of Feyd's pets being a gift from the Baron Harkonnen. I also want to tag @valeskafics and her fanfic "Between Us" because it uses the same theme I used in this chapter. I had this idea even before reading that amazing story but she wrote it first so I want to be fair! 💕

WARNINGS — arranged marriage, mentions of sexual activities (no actual smut), violent behaviour, death

WORD COUNT — 7,110

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

THROWN TO THE WOLVES (VII)

The sound of grunts, screams and clinging metal accompanied your breakfast as usual when you were eating your morning meal and watching your husband practice in the courtyard. Last night’s memories brought a faint smile to your face as you caressed your womb with your free hand.

Never before had you performed your marital duties in such a way. Nothing hurt you that morning, nothing was aching, nothing was sore. What a shame, you thought at first but you knew that your child’s safety was the priority. You were aware of the mockery of this yearning which was missing Feyd’s roughness and abuse. You both had your victories with each other – he had managed to shape your body and its desires the way he wanted to. He had turned you into a whore.

So, last night’s relative gentleness had been new to the both of you. It hadn’t been as exciting nor fun but you would get used to it for the few upcoming months, you decided.

You looked down and watched him finish the fight so gracefully and swiftly that it made you feel proud as if you were a mother watching her son training. Your fingers tickled your own abdomen teasingly, hoping that your unborn son could feel that. You already imagined him being the one training one day as you’d watch proudly.

Feyd looked up to make sure you had witnessed his victory and you waved at him before going back to your breakfast. He was an exquisite warrior and you wondered why his uncle still made him perform pathetic shows in front of the audience instead of letting him show his real abilities. Perhaps he didn’t want Feyd to become more respectable, at least not yet. It would weaken his position and despite presenting his nephew as his natural successor, he wasn’t eager to let go of the throne just yet.

Feyd had been right the other day when he had told you that it was not the right time to kill the Baron. It would make the nobility of Giedi Prime want to take over the reign and call Feyd an usurper. No, the transfer of power had to go smoothly because every civil war was weakening its state.

You were deep in your thoughts when Feyd joined you on the balcony in his gladiator gear, still breathing heavily after the fight.

“Let me finish my breakfast first,” you told him casually. You knew what he wanted. The same thing as always after the fight.

“Not today,” he only said and sat on the chair next to yours. You raised your eyebrow at him and watched him grabbing a plate and putting some of your food on it.

“You don’t have to restrain yourself so much, I am not made of glass,” you chuckled.

“Who said I’m going to restrain myself?” He looked at you and you moved uncomfortably.

You still had the image of his awful cannibalistic lovers making out with each other and hissing at you with jealousy, threatening to eat your heart.

Feyd’s appetite was insatiate, you didn’t mind sharing him with concubines – especially in your fragile state. But these three women… They simply had to go but you had no idea how to deal with that matter. He seemed to have a strong bond with them.

“What are you still doing here then?” You snapped at him angrily and looked away.

“My uncle is throwing a celebration tonight in your honour,” Feyd explained and you looked back at him, surprised.

“In my honour?” You asked in disbelief.

“You’re carrying the Harkonnen heir,” he reminded you with a proud smirk. “It is a custom to celebrate it,” he added.

“What kind of celebration?” You wanted details. Once again, this side of the Harkonnen culture was not known to you.

And to think that your father had been advertising you as a woman who was very educated in that matter.

“The nobility of Giedi Prime will come to celebrate and shower you with gifts,” Feyd watched with delight as you smiled and your eyes sparkled.

“Now you’re talking!” You were visibly excited.

“I came here to ask what kind of gift I can give to you,” Feyd’s words made you freeze for a second.

You did not expect that.

“Keep in mind I only have a few hours to get it,” he added. “So don’t ask me for impossible things.”

Suddenly, an idea popped into your head. A very delicious idea and it made your heart pound faster in your chest. You had your large victory with Feyd but you still weren’t sure how far he’d go for you, you still weren’t sure if his domestication process had been complete. This could be a great test of his obedience but it could also anger him. You decided to risk it since your new status was making you untouchable anyway.

“Well, there is something I want,” you whispered, seductively, as you looked deep inside his eyes.

“What is it?” He asked and you chuckled as you mysteriously covered your mouth with your hand. He furrowed his brow at that gesture and you beckoned him over as if you wanted to tell him a secret.

Unsurely, he leaned in for you to whisper into his ear.

“I want to be your only pet… like you are mine,” you breathed out and bit on his earlobe gently before pulling away and seeing the absolute terror on his face.

He was trying to hide it the best he could but you only smirked at him, not expanding your thoughts any further. You didn’t care what he’d do to them, you just wanted them to be discarded.

Feyd did not say anything. He took one last bite of his breakfast and left the table to walk away and walk out of the chambers. It was a little disappointing that he hadn’t given you any reaction whatsoever but you decided to give him some time to process your request and his own feelings.

You almost had a nervous breakdown in front of your wardrobe and it felt humiliating to be so emotional about the outfit to choose. Like all these months on Giedi Prime hadn’t changed the core of your personality – you were spoiled.

“Na-baroness, please, calm down, it’s going to be alright,” Astra’s eyes widened at you.

“I don’t know what is wrong with me…” You sniffed your tears back.

“It’s the baby, I’m sure, my Lady,” Cara assured you.

“There is no point in crying over a dress, I’m so stupid,” you sat on the bed and hid your face in your hands. 

“I think there is, actually, my Lady,” Astra swallowed thickly before sharing her thought and you looked up at her, questioningly. Cara did the same thing. “I mean, na-baroness, the clothes you’re wearing, they’re reflecting your power and personality. May I dare to say… Women do not have as many opportunities to display their power as men and for noble women… the way they’re presenting themselves… that’s very important, my Lady,” she explained. “Forgive me for my boldness but on the day of your wedding, na-baroness, your dress was turned into a mockery by the na-baron. But on the day of his fight in the arena, you established your dominance with that red leather dress, my Lady,” she bowed down her head and waited for you to scold her.

“You should have just shut your mouth,” Cara hissed at her.

But you only laughed cheerfully and extended your hands towards the girls to hold them.

“Oh, girls, I adore you,” you assured them. “Thank you for your insight, Astra. You are a very smart girl and you are right,” you told her and she looked up in disbelief as her eyes sparkled. “So are you, Cara, but you need to have more courage,” you squeezed Cara’s hand to show her some of your gratitude, too.

You didn’t want to favour any of them because it could lead to the other one growing to feel resentment and betraying you. You knew perfectly well how it felt like to be the less favoured one.

They both smiled sweetly and helped you to get up to choose from the dresses all over again. You wanted to look like a Harkonnen but you wanted to stand out, too. Not only were you the na-baroness but it was also your day, your celebration, your moment to shine.

Someone knocked upon your doors and Cara went to open them to see who that was.

“We have a gift for na-baroness,” you heard a male voice and you nodded your head at Cara for her to let them in.

Two of Baron Harkonnen's servants entered your bedroom carrying a big black box. You furrowed your brows at it as one of them bowed down and handed you a letter.

My Baroness, this gown is a gift from me. My own mother wore it for her celebration after conceiving an heir. The tailors have been working on it to adjust it to your size all night. It is your decision whether to wear it for the feast or not but it would bring me great pleasure to see you in it and proving your loyalty to the House Harkonnen. – Baron H.

A chill went down your spine. You didn’t expect that. It was his attempt to show his dominance over you, to test your loyalty as if there was still some hint of doubt about it. You were a Harkonnen now. You had nothing to prove.

“Unpack it,” you ordered his servants. You wanted to see the gown first.

The skirt was made of black leather with a long and slim train that resembled a snake. The bodice was made of black metallic net so tightly knotted that it was barely transparent but there were red gemstones scattered all over it, forming an emblem of the House Harkonnen on the chest.

You didn’t know what to do. The dress was stunning but you knew that wearing it would only give Baron a satisfaction you did not want to give him. On the other hand, you didn’t want to be too openly rebellious towards him like you were with your husband. And some part of you was scared to disobey him as you had disobeyed Feyd when you had been given a dress from him.

“I will wear it, thank you,” you nodded at the servants and they nodded their heads before walking out of the room and leaving you alone with your girls.

“So, problem solved,” Astra chuckled softly as she touched the fabric of the gown with awe.

“Not entirely,” Cara scolded her. “Isn’t our na-baroness also the Duchess Atreides now? This dress is to humiliate her,” she pointed out and then gave you an apologetic smile.

“That is true, my darling,” you told her. “But I have bent my knee in front of Baron Harkonnen. House Atreides – which I represent – serves the Baron now,” you explained. “Let’s put it on,” your eyes sparkled at the gown.

The bodice felt like an armour but the skirt was regal and feminine. It was a perfect mix, you had to admit. You hated the Baron for understanding your fashion sense so quickly. Suddenly, an odd feeling crossed your mind.

“I'm wondering what he was like when he was young, The Baron,” you told your girls as they widened their eyes at you. “What kind of husband would he be…”

“My Lady!” Astra gasped and you laughed at the terror and shock on her face.

“I just like getting pretty things,” you shrugged your arms and winked at her as you admired yourself in the mirror.

“If na-baroness keeps saying such things, you might make na-baron jealous and angry,” Cara reminded you. Little did she know she had just given you a great idea.

“Oh, maybe I want that, my sweet,” you chuckled at her. “You know what?” You decided to change the subject as the girls looked at each other, surprised. “I think I want to wear my hair up this time. Do you think you can manage that now?”

“Yes!” Astra was excited for the idea. “And we can attach the red gemstones to the hairdo to match the dress!”

“Sounds good,” you nodded at her with a smile.

You were supposed to enter the dining room as the last one, side by side with your husband for all the guests to admire you and cheer. So you were waiting in the room nearby, still admiring yourself in the mirror constantly. Feyd wasn’t there yet – in fact you hadn’t seen him since breakfast.

When the doors behind you opened without knocking, you knew already it had to be him and indeed, you spotted him in the mirror’s reflection. He was wearing his black leather uniform and squinted his eyes at you.

You turned around with a sly smile to show off your gown but he didn’t look very pleased.

“What is this dress?” He asked and you rolled your eyes.

“I hoped you’d tell me I look beautiful, dear husband,” you put your hands on your hips.

“I didn’t say you did not,” he pointed out and you smirked. “But I don’t recall giving you such a dress and I sincerely doubt it is one of those you brought with you from Caladan,” he gritted his teeth and you noticed his whole body went tense.

“It is a gift from your uncle,” you tried to sound as innocent as possible. “It was his mother’s,” you added and gasped in awe in an exaggerated way as you caressed the skirt.

“My uncle gave it to you?” Feyd approached you quickly and tugged on one of the sleeves as you squealed.

“What are you doing? Do you want to break it?!” You managed to push his hand away but his face was now inches away from yours and you could see anger spilling out of his eyes. His clenched jaw was practically shaking. “What is your problem? Can’t I accept gifts from your uncle? He is my family now as much as you are and he is my Baron whom I serve,” you added.

“I thought you wanted me to kill him,” Feyd drawled through gritted teeth.

“Maybe I don’t want that anymore. His gifts are nicer than yours,” you teased as you giggled cruelly into his face. “I mentioned to my girls earlier today that he would make a good husband if he was younger and healthier,” you continued. It was delicious to watch him in such torment but some part of you felt bad for it, too.

“You’re more stupid than I thought then,” Feyd spat out. “So disappointing.”

You let out a nervous laugh. It hadn’t gone as you expected. You had to take it back as fast as possible. You knew that he admired you for being cunning and you couldn't spoil that.

“Oh, darling,” you cupped his face and he flinched but you shushed him, “can’t you see I’m teasing you, my pet?” You raised your eyebrow at him. His muscles relaxed but his eyes were full of confusion. “You should have seen your ugly face when I was saying these things,” you giggled and you leaned in to place soft kisses upon his lips and cheeks.

“Why did you wear that dress?” He only asked after a short while, when he was less angry already.

“Because it’s pretty and I don’t want him to think that I am his enemy. He probably thinks that already but I don’t want to show it,” you explained softly. “Sometimes you have to lose a small battle in order to win the war.”

“He’s going to stare at you all evening. I hate it when he does that,” Feyd told you. You caressed his cheeks with your thumbs.

“He can stare as much as he wants. I didn’t wear it for him. I wore that for my husband and for my son,” you assured him.

These days feeding him with all these praises and sweet things felt easier than usual. These days it felt almost natural. You didn’t have to plan what to say. It was coming directly from your poisoned heart; filled with the venom of unwanted affection towards the man standing in front of you.

The guards knocked upon the door and you realised it was the time to finally leave the room and join the guests in the dining room. You took a deep breath in and lowered your arms to give your husband’s hands a squeeze before leaving his side and approaching the doors.

“Are you coming?” You looked back at him.

“I am,” he joined you and put his hand on your waist. “You look beautiful, by the way,” he smirked at you and you rolled your eyes but on the inside you felt the warmth spilling all over your body.

Feyd led you inside the dining room after you two had been announced. You were watched by the cheering people as you gracefully and slowly walked towards the podium with two large, black chairs. The Baron was sitting on the opposite side of the room and watching you with a smirk as the long train of your dress followed you as if it was a real snake indeed, slithering on the black marble floor.

You watched Feyd taking a seat on one of the chairs and you were about to sit on yours, when you felt his hands grabbing your waist and pulling you onto his lap. You didn’t want to fight him in front of all these people so you kept your smile on. And – even though it was taking away some of your dignity – it felt good, too. His right hand with the Harkonnen signet ring landed on your abdomen possessively. The long train of your dress was falling down the side of the podium as you decided to use the second chair as a footstool.

You weren’t presenting yourselves like a dignified noble couple of the future Baron and Baroness of Giedi Prime. You looked like barbarian rulers of the savage tribe; sitting lazily on your thrones and not caring much about the etiquette. It wasn’t exactly how you had planned this evening to go but you loved to spot the annoyance on the Baron’s face.

Once you were seated, the guests sat down as well and they were announced one after another to approach you, bow down and show off their gifts to you.

Lots of the presents weren’t actually for you but for your son. There were blades and knives of all sorts – all of them beautifully made. Some lords gifted you jewellery and the Bene Gesserit woman gave you an old book from the Bene Gesserit library. You couldn’t see her face behind the veil but you were sure that her eyes were watching you as carefully as the Baron’s. And as your aunt’s friend she was most likely your grandfather’s spy, too.

All the lords and ladies were back in their seats and you had a feeling it was all over now. You tried to hide your disappointment about the fact that there was no gift from Feyd when the servant announced:

“To Na-Baroness (Y/N) Harkonnen, Duchess of The House Atreides and a mother of his son, Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen presents a humble offering hoping to win her favours,” the man bowed down as three servants approached you. Each one of them was holding a black, covered plate.

Everyone was staring in anticipation, knowing your husband’s reputation they wanted to see what kind of present it could be. You felt his muscles tensing as his hand squeezed your womb even more possessively. He was excited for you to see and your heart skipped a beat as you already had a feeling what it was.

Feyd nodded at the servants and they took the black, velvet veils off of the plates as everyone gasped in shock and disgust. You tried very hard not to react in any way at the sight of the three familiar heads of your husband’s pet darlings.

You swallowed thickly, feeling his impatience to see your reaction. From the corner of your eye you noticed that the Baron was very displeased and you wondered why.

The eyes of the guests were wide as everyone on Giedi Prime had known about Feyd’s cannibalistic lovers. Everyone in the room was aware of the significance of this gift and perhaps that was the reason behind Baron’s anger.

You didn’t want to thank your husband for the present. It would be humiliating to thank him in front of everyone for getting rid of his concubines. However, he was expecting praise as the rest of the room was expecting some sort of reaction. You turned your head around to place a passionate kiss upon his lips as you cupped his cheek with one of your hands and the guests cheered. The servants took the heads away and you were glad because the sight was making you feel sick.

As you were kissing Feyd who seemed to be very proud of himself, you realised that you had just killed people. Perhaps not directly but they died because of your order and your request. These creatures were twisted and sick and dangerous but they were still – in some way – people. You remembered your father’s words about taking human life.

People should not decide about other people’s right to live or die. As noblemen in power we are burdened with the responsibility of making such decisions way more often than we should. It is important to remember the value of each and every single human life.

You didn’t want to think of that. You didn’t want that feeling somewhere deep in your heart that you disappointed your father. He was dead and he was the one who had sent you here, causing you to become like this. He would have no right to judge you. You wanted to survive more than anything because the life you had been living so far was not satisfying enough. And now, orphaned and basically homeless, you finally could make a new life for yourself. This time everything would be on your terms.

You finished the kiss with a smile as you leaned in to peck Feyd’s lips again with a sweet chuckle. The servants placed a table in front of you as the feast was supposed to begin.

“Good boy,” you whispered to him.

“My Lady,” he nodded his head at you with a wide smile, showing off his black teeth. This time it didn’t even make you flinch as you had grown used to his face. Perhaps it was because of the child in your womb but you leaned in once again to put yet another kiss upon his lips and he eagerly kissed you back.

Feyd kept you on his lap during the feast. You were feeding him his almost raw steak with your fork and he was feeding you with cake that had been prepared for your celebration. You remembered your wedding celebration and chuckled to yourself how different these two banquets were.

At some point of digging the fork and knife into Feyd’s steak, you felt your mouth watering at the sight of blood leaking out of it on the plate. It deeply confused you since you had always found these disgusting.

“What is it, pet?” Feyd placed a kiss on your neck, waiting for another piece of meat you’d feed him with.

“It’s nothing, I…” You hesitated, your eyes fixated on the steak with a mix of fascination and confusion. Feyd noticed it and laughed at you.

“Try it,” he encouraged you but you shook your head, refusing. “Try it,” he took the fork from your hand and turned your head around before putting the piece of meat in front of your mouth. “He wants it, not you. It’s for him,” the hand he kept on your abdomen squeezed your womb. You still looked unsure. “He’s a Harkonnen, he has his needs,” Feyd explained.

“I’m a Harkonnen, too,” you whispered and he smirked.

“Then open your mouth like a good girl,” he ordered and you obeyed, not ever breaking eye contact. When the piece of a bloody steak was inside your mouth already, you let it melt a little on your tongue. Feyd placed his hand on your throat possessively but gently – his intention was not to hurt you but to feel you swallow.

You couldn’t tell the steak was delicious but it surprisingly was not as awful as you had expected. It had to be the effect of your pregnancy but you didn’t want to refuse your son anything he wanted. You wanted him to be born as strong as he could and to become a warrior even greater than his father.

As Feyd was staring at you with admiration, you suddenly realised that it would be so much easier to turn your son into another guard dog of yours. You could give Feyd many sons and each of them would be willing to kill for his mother and her ambitions. You got dreamy for a while, sincerely hoping Feyd wouldn’t insist on raising his children the same way he had been raised by his uncle. Despite your dream of having strong warriors sons, you didn't want them to achieve that through pain and losing a sense of humanity.

You gave Feyd a sweet smile and let him kiss you once more, not caring at all what all the guests had to think. And caring only a little about the Baron’s visible anger.

After a while the guests left their seats as they began approaching one another and exchanging courtesies. Many of them walked up to you to congratulate you personally. It felt delightful to see so much fear and respect in the eyes of those Harkonnen men who had looked so scary to you a few months earlier but now you saw them as nothing but pathetic.

You spotted that one of the Harkonnen ladies looked surprisingly familiar. She was talking to another woman. She had a hooded dress but for a brief while you were convinced that you could spot… hair. Astra and Cara had informed you that sometimes Harkonnen noble women were wearing wigs to look prettier but you had also been aware that nowadays it was considered as a faux pas because of you and your very real and very natural hair.

“Excuse me,” you left your husband’s side and left him with one of the lords. He was watching you walk away but he did not stop you.

With your heart squeezed in your chest, you touched a shoulder of one of those women and they both turned around, startled. You gasped at the sight of them.

They were your old maids you had brought with you from Caladan. The ones that had been given to the Harkonnen noble lords.

“My Lady…” They both bowed down and you looked them up and down.

Both of them were swollen with children and their faces looked exhausted. You could swear that their skin was a shade paler than you remembered. One of them had her hair shaved off completely but the other one kept her locks and she also had makeup on.

“My girls, where have you been?” You asked them with a gentle smile. “I hope your husbands treat you well,” you added as you touched their arms and they both flinched, especially the bald one.

“I can’t complain, na-baroness,” the one with hair told you. “Beginnings were difficult but now I’m a lady and not a maid,” she placed her hand on her swollen belly.

“I am very sorry, I hope you both know I had nothing to do with what happened,” you bit on your lower lip.

“My Lady, I have accepted my faith a long time ago,” she sighed. “My husband is not as handsome as yours, na-baroness, but he is worshipping me for my looks. I am sorry for keeping my real hair, I know it is rude to show it off around you, my Lady. That is why I have a hood on my head. But my husband doesn’t allow me to cut it. In fact, he wants them to be as long as they can get,” she explained.

“I do not mind you wearing hair on your head,” you told her. “Yours is real, you have a right to wear it.”

“But not to show it off, my Lady,” she explained.

“Is that some new law I’ve had no idea of?” You chuckled, watching the other one from the corner of your eye. She was acting extremely odd and her pupils were dilated to the point her eyes almost looked black.

“Not officially, no, as far as I am concerned,” your former maid explained, “but the Baron himself was telling the lords that their wives should not wear wigs because it is insulting to the new na-baroness,” she bowed down slightly.

“And what about you, darling? What happened to your beautiful hair?” You looked at the other one as she gasped and bowed down as well, nervously.

“M-my na-baroness,” she stuttered out.

“What is wrong with her?” You asked the other one.

“Her husband, he…”

“My husband is the greatest and the most generous man I could ever ask for, my Lady,” the startled one interrupted her as she widened her eyes even further at you. “There is not a day I am not grateful for him,” she continued and you squinted your eyes at her. You had given the same speech to your grandfather the other day about Feyd-Rautha. But your speech was purposefully planned out and she sounded like a programmed machine.

You wanted to ask her about more things when you noticed a huge and very unpleasant looking Harkonnen lord approaching you angrily. He bowed down at the sight of you but then he grabbed the bald woman by her arm and pulled her closer to him.

“What have I told you about walking away?!” He scolded her.

“I-I am so sorry, my Lord, please forgive me, I did not mean to disobey, please, my Lord…” She trembled.

“My Lord,” you told him and he laid his angry eyes at you, “it is my fault. I wanted to speak to my former maid. Please, I did not mean to steal your wife away from you.”

“Na-baroness doesn’t have to explain herself to me,” he bowed down to you. “It is an honour for you to speak to my wife, my Lady,” he added and dragged her away with him.

You watched with shock, terror and sadness but there was nothing you could do. You had to be a harsh na-baroness Harkonnen and accept their customs. You didn’t want to make scenes and ruin your own celebration.

After all, you were selfish, too.

“Mine is not like that,” the other woman only told you. “There he is,” she pointed at the man talking to Feyd-Rautha. The men looked at you and you both waved at them as they nodded. Her husband was not very good looking indeed but he wasn’t as scary as the other one. “I told you, my Lady, it could be worse,” she told you. “But be careful with the pregnancy,” she warned as you raised an eyebrow at her.

“What do you mean?”

“These babies… their babies, I mean… They change you. I hope not permanently, but they do. And I feel as if the child is feeding off of my life energy and strength. I am weakened and exhausted,” she sighed. “But it is alright. I know my husband will not let me die.”

“I do not have to worry about these things either,” you reminded her but some part of you tried to convince yourself at the same time.

“Of course, my Lady,” she nodded her head and your husbands approached you.

“I see a little reunion, my Lady,” your former maid’s husband bowed down at you. “Congratulations, na-baroness.”

“I congratulate you, too, my Lord,” you pointed at the woman’s abdomen and he smirked as he pulled her closer to him.

“I will forever be grateful to you, na-baroness, for bringing such a gem with you all the way from Caladan,” he told you and you gave him a faint smile. “Please, do forgive me for letting me keep her hair.”

“I don’t mind her hair, my Lord,” you told him.

“As long as she’s not showing it off,” suddenly Feyd barked as you furrowed your brow at him.

“Feyd!” You chuckled nervously, ashamed of his behaviour.

“It is understandable, my Lord na-baron,” the man bowed his head and walked away with his wife.

“What was that?” You asked your husband.

“No common lady shall outshine my wife,” he explained with his jaw clenched.

“Please,” you laughed softly as you cupped his angry face, “she’s my former maid. How could she ever outshine me?” You asked him and then you teased. “Do you think I am so easy to outshine, dear husband?”

“N-no, that is not what I meant,” his eyes widened as he shook his head. “I want you to be the only woman on this planet to shine.”

“Then don’t stand in the way of light,” you leaned in to whisper into his ear and then you giggled before kissing his cheek.

Feyd was asked to stay longer at the celebration by some of the lords who wanted to drink and party with him and other men but you decided to go to your chambers as the rest of the ladies. It was late already and you were getting tired so you said goodnight to your husband and the guests before excusing yourself and walking out of the dining room.

For the first time you noticed that there was no guard following you and your exhaustion suddenly turned into excitation. Since everyone was busy with the celebrations and you were free of company, it was a perfect excuse to wander a little around the fortress and through the corridors that you still had not explored properly.

It was your home now and you wanted to know all of it. At this point you had a few paths memorised already and you took the known one just in case you got lost and couldn’t find the way back. You passed the doors leading to the library and you pushed the next one open.

It was a Memory Room as they called it and it had the Harkonnen souvenirs and war trophies on display. You weren’t actually forbidden to go there at all but you had never gone there anyway. You had read about it in one of the books and you wanted to see it yourself but without any guard staring at you.

At this point of the night, the room was dark and empty with no one guarding it and the guards who were supposed to stand outside were most likely partying with other men as they abandoned their duties for the time of celebration.

You gasped at the size of the room as you looked around and allowed your eyes to get used to the darkness. Then you began walking around and looking at the exhibits behind the glass. The Harkonnen enemies were many and great and yet, all that was left of them remained now nothing but a trophy in this room.

There were other artefacts as well – like the one you were looking for. And when you finally spotted it, at the end of the wall, you smiled to yourself as you looked up. It was the blade given to you by the warrior during your wedding ceremony. He had won the bloody contest and swore to you that for his na-baroness he would shed the blood of his enemies. The blade still had dried up blood on it and below the exhibit there was an engraved inscription.

10191 AG – the blade given to Na-Baroness (Y/N) Harkonnen of The House Atreides on the day of her wedding to Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen from The Wedding Games winner Maxim Arseni

Lost in your thoughts of your name being engraved there forever, you stopped paying attention to your surroundings.

“I see you’re basking in your glory, Baroness,” a familiar, unpleasant voice startled you. You turned around and spotted the Baron himself floating in the air in the middle of the room with all his machinery behind him. How could you not hear him coming? You cursed yourself for allowing yourself to be so inattentive.

And now you were alone with him in a dark room when your husband was partying with other lords and couldn’t hear you even if you screamed for help.

“I am not basking, my Lord,” you bowed down slightly as you approached him a little to be able to see him more, “and surely I have no glory attached to my name yet.”

He smirked.

“You wore the dress,” he pointed out.

“It is beautiful, my Lord, thank you,” you nodded.

“Do you know that the harpies were my gift to Feyd for one of his birthdays? They costed me quite a lot as they had been genetically modified for him. He had a tendency of getting bored of his previous pets so I prepared him something special. He was mesmerised by them and their infinite sexual desire, their bloodthirst and devotion,” Baron was explaining to you but you could hear irritation in his voice.

Now you could understand why he was so angry. You accidentally told his dear nephew to get rid of his expensive gift.

“Did you tell him to get rid of them or did that boy do it himself?” Baron asked and you remained silent because both answers would only make it worse.

If you told him it had been your idea, he’d get his proof that you were playing a game indeed. If you lied to him it had been Feyd’s idea, he’d start thinking that Feyd was getting weak.

Unless…

“I asked him to get rid of them, my Lord. I’ve had no idea they were so meaningful,” you admitted. “But I did not specify what I want to be done to them. Their death surprised me no less than you, my Baron. His bond with them was known to me,” you added as genuinely as possible.

“I am aware what game you’re playing, Baroness,” Baron’s voice was surprisingly calm, almost as if he admired you. “Such a timid little thing that came here only a few months ago, tripping as she walked towards my throne on the first day… already making my life more exciting,” his eyes sparkled.

“You forgot how it’s like to have real enemies, did you not, my Lord?” You asked him, carefully. “They’re all so scared of you that they don’t even walk up close to you anymore. They are no worthy opponents. Even my father did not dare to fight you, he preferred to give me away for peace.”

“Your father was weak, Duchess Atreides,” Baron pointed out.

“I know,” you shrugged your arms.

“So you do know what use there is of weak men. Do you really want our Feyd to become one?” He asked and you were almost caught off guard by the tone of his voice. He was talking to you as if you were an equal.

He already knew that he was losing his control over Feyd-Rautha to you but he still hoped to share him.

Of course you couldn’t trust him. He was pretending to be your friend for his own gain. However, it meant that you had been promoted in the ladder of his enemies if his strategy was no longer humiliation and threats but fake friendship instead.

“I do not wish him to be weak,” you explained. “It is the last thing I want,” you told him, truthfully. “What you did to him… was awful. But it is something that cannot be taken back and it is something I do not want to take back,” you emphasised. 

“Yet now, after seeing his gift, all the Harkonnen lords are whispering between each other that my successor is getting weak for a woman,” Baron informed you and you gritted your teeth. If he wasn’t lying, the news were not pleasing you either. But it was useful for your little plan. “And what do we do now, my Baroness?” Baron asked.

“Let him fight in the arena,” you proposed, trying to hide the excitement on your face. He couldn’t know it was a part of your scheming, he had to think it was an idea that had just popped into your head. 

“Hmm,” he hummed to himself. “What do you mean?”

“It’s going to be his hundredth kill, right?” You asked and he nodded. “And as far as I am concerned it’s going to be his birthday, too.”

“Yes, has he told you?” Baron laughed.

“No, my servants have,” you answered truthfully. “I think for this special occasion you should give him a real warrior to kill. Not someone weak and not someone drugged. Let these whispering lords see how weak he is getting indeed. They’re quickly going to see that they were wrong about him. I’ve watched him fight and he’s excellent,” you finished.

“Interesting,” Baron squinted his eyes at you. “But also very convenient for you if he dies there. Because you're already carrying his son.”

“I have no gain in Feyd dying in the arena,” you laughed at him. “If he dies there, you’re going to kill me the moment I push the baby out and train him like you trained my husband,” you told him and then you realised that it was really true.

A shiver went down your spine. You suddenly regretted your proposition but it could not be taken back now.

“I will think of that,” Baron nodded his head at you. “You should go to sleep now and rest,” he added and you bowed down before approaching the doors, trying not to show how much you wanted to get away as fast as possible. “However,” he started and you slowed down with your hand already on the doors’ handle, “you think that I resent you way more than I actually do, Baroness,” he added and you swallowed thickly before nodding your head and walking out.

You sighed with relief at the sight of the familiar corridor and you hurried to the staircase leading to the living quarters to finally go back to your room.

MASTERLIST

[uwuspaceboy]

sooooooo i watched 6 episodes of shameless today haha so anyways here are my thoughts on 10x9-11x2

the wedding was real cute i love these fuckups

lip relapse nooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! genuinely that was so heartbreaking i'm glad he very quickly realized it was a mistake and got to a meeting with brad

prediction (that i've had for a while but not sure if i've said here) i really think frank is going to die at the end of the season and the final episode will be his funeral and i'm gonna cry so hard no one tell me if i'm right but just know

debbie and sandy milkovich kinda slay but omg gallaghers stop getting with milkoviches challenge

liam you're so cute and i love u keep grifting bud

the whole ian/mickey monogamy, wait i spelled monogamy wrong!, yeah i'm going to lip's house teehee thing was pretty funny

also the season 11 opener of frank saying what's going on major callback to season 1 opening scene ugh i love it

ian telling mickey he wouldn't mind having a couple little kiddos running around before getting married was really sweet, also mickey does have a kid somewhere but i don't think svetlana's ever coming back with him whoops sorry

carl the sicko becoming a cop not what i would of expected but it does make sense i'll give them that

the whole debbie/milf/julia thing was crazy that's all i'll say on that

mickey being a bridezilla not what i would've expected but he it is a well documented fact that he is a brat tho so

ian and mickey's communication problems being a problem in their marriage! who would have thought! but seriously please just sit down and talk to each other just have a whole episode just be them sitting down and talking to each other

yeah mickey's never gonna get a "real" job but like ian threw a tantrum about mickey softening up too much when he was being ian's nurse early in his illness so what you just want him to switch up now?

i think that's all i've got for now but you know i'll be yapping again the second a new thought pops up into my head so

[itsmadreia]

Fav happy yr moments and/or fav moving moments?

Hiiiiiii goodness I didn't expect to get any asks because I live in the black hole of this fandom lol(my blog was shadowbanned for six months???) but here we go 💜

My fave happy yr moment(s) is most definitely the final scene in S3. It got me in the feels and I was happy crying for hours.

!BUT! when it comes to moving or even heartbreaking ones then the lake scene is literally my top one. It's sooooooo good!!!

Just look at Simon's little smile here 😭

[mermaidsirennikita]

I just read How the Wallflower Was Won and since the hero in that was a really good dirty talker, who are some of the best dirty talkers in historical romance in your opinion? Most of them will probably be heroes, but I would love to hear about some heroines that are good dirty talkers

Hope you don't mind if I publish this! That was a great book--I don't think people understand how hot the sex scenes are in it because the plot sounds fairly straightforward. Just a really fun read.

So for me, I think of like...

The Duke of Clayborn, Heartbreaker--MacLean heroes are really good dirty talkers, and this is one of her best. He's the one that said "good girl", like? We love a praise kink.

Cross, One Good Earl Deserves a Lover--Obviously the king of this shit. Just dirty talks until she's climaxing lmaooo.

Julia, The Countess of Greyling, The Earl Takes All--I wouldn't say Julia is an especially creative dirty talker, but her dirty talk is literally a plot point and I find it charmingly earnest and the hero's reaction to it is sooooooo good.

Preston Clarke/Katherine Delafield, The Bride Goes Rogue--These two are both good at it and both into their little mini role play moments, and I do love it. "Mon roi" "reinette" lmao prep school Francophile freaks.

Andrew Talbot (The Duke of Lockwood), The Duke Gets Even--Lmao y'all haven't gotten this one yet but I looooove Lockwood's dirty talk in this. It's like. Very clear that he says shit specifically to get Nellie going in a super calculated manner, and I just. Love that. He knows that she's into him being starchy on the outside and dirty on the inside.

James Kilbrenner, When A Girl Loves An Earl--I just really like the use of the Scottish brogue to get the heroine all hot and bothered. I think at one point he's basically like "I'm gonna fuck you up so bad you'll be terrified" and she's like "promise".

Raven Moreaux, To Catch A Raven--Mostly for "I'd like some cock now, please". What a fucking line. I love her.

Maximus Batten, Duke of Midnight--Most dramatic dirty talk award, love this for him.

Julian Haywood, The Earl I Ruined--A dom dirty talker, which is, imo, the best kind of dirty talker.

[terrainofheartfelt]

🛒⛔️👀🤲✅ please!!! <3

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc. Well, might as well pick a theme for your ask here, and go with: the dilf!dan cinematic universe. I guess there are lots of reasons for it, the first being that there is a real, evolutionary phenomenon that makes the image of a beautiful man being good with a baby irresistible. And, of course, there’s the heartbreaking precedence of canon, that opened this can of worms of Beautiful Man That’s Good With a Baby and slammed it shut quickly after, thereby forever leaving my imagination dissatisfied. And too, with GG specifically, parenthood and how children are shaped by their parents/haunted by the ghosts of their parents’ past and visions of their parents’ futures, and how there is really only one (1) good father in the dramatis personae and he’s only good to like, half his children, the narrative potential of a main character like Dan stepping out of the GG cycle of parenting and building a life and a family that defies it is sooooooo….delicious. The Milo plot specifically, in a show that emphasizes bloodlines and genetics and biological links, breaking that down to say, Dan is not the bio-father, but that doesn’t matter because the love and the connection is real—a marked contrast from say, bart and wvdw, who use their bio-dad cards as get-out-of-jail free ones all the time. Just…everything this theme says about family and parenthood being earned. And choosing to be there. And choosing to stay. 

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped? Oh, sure. I am kind of a — stickler, I guess? That if I start something I want to have finished it, so I am trying to be better at forgiving myself for the fics I don’t write. That being said, there is one. So I started a fic a couple months ago that was a story based off of these headcanons (dilf!dan AND dilf!nate cinematic universe!) but then a few things happened: I went on vacation so writing wasn’t really a thing that was happening because my big brother and I were having too much fun, then I contracted COVID whilst on vacation so when I got home I was too sick to anything but watch Netflix and drink water and lay around moaning, and then, I was beginning to emerge from the brain fog, the supreme court (fuck em!), and it was like…so the whole thing that the fic revolves around is adoption — which is great! It’s a great practice don’t get me wrong — and I just…didn’t have it in me to write an adoption-at-birth plot after that particular devastating political event. I still like the idea, so I guess I haven’t scrapped it completely, but it’ll probably be a while if I ever circle back to it. 

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please! Ohhhhhh you are just trying to get me to talk about it publicly, I see you, S! But that’s fine, because I’ve been dying for an excuse. 

Okay so the recent discourse in my ask box — spurred by Sena’s posts (ty sena I owe you my life tbh), and then prompted by you, actually, S (wow, this is so your fault <3) — was about Blair’s pregnancy arc on the show and the Grimaldis shitty behavior and I mentioned an abandoned LJ fic where to get away from Chuck and out of her engagement and free of the Grimaldis forever, Blair enlists Dan to help lie for her and say that the child she’s carrying is actually Dan’s. Ever since I read it and then was heartbroken to find it unfinished, I’ve wondered how that story was gonna go, and now I can’t stop thinking about it…so here we are. 

I haven’t had much of a chance to make an outline and a plan, but generally what I am thinking now is starting in the weeds of 5x10 — the epicenter of everything that spurs the story for the rest of the season, honestly — and following through until the time that s5 ends (with a much happier ending for my faves, of course). Blair decides she wants out of the royal pipeline, and that she needs insurance/insulation from Chuck, and Dan is so stupid in love with her he’ll go along with any idiotic plot. Also like, as we’ve all joked, Dan WILL raise your baby no questions asked. 

But it’s just…it’s gonna be a bear of thing to pull off. It will definitely end up longer than I mean it to be (hello, it me), and to do it I know I’m gonna have to deal with the Dair + Serena of it all, plus save Nate from the Spectator (#notmynate), get chip whiskers out of the fuckin way, acknowledge the train wreck of Ivy/Charlie/Lola, not to mention all the things about her pregnancy & motherhood that Blair avoids grappling with until she’s suddenly Not Pregnant. PLUS Dan’s choice being all tied up in the Milo Debacle and his novel and his love of Blair. Which is all gonna be hard. 

But! The potential for the ROMANCE. Dilf!dan. Dair roommates. Dair doing three men and a baby except that it’s two-best-friends-who-are-in-love-but-don’t-know-how-to-handle-it and a baby.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip? Well, I’ve barely written much prose on the aforementioned wip, it’s just been basic outlining, stream of consciousness notes, and pitching scenes in your dms, but I’ll share a tidbit of the tiny bit I’ve written so far in my bullet points…

Rounded and big and unwieldy, she knows she’s well-past the benchmark of desirable now, but Dan holds her like she isn’t, touches her like she’s worth wanting, and kisses her until she wants to believe it.

✅ What’s something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don’t mean to? musical!Humphreys my beloved! Sometimes it is very much intentional and is the basis of the plot (see: orchestra au & date valentine oneshot), but sometimes it just creeps in. Like I said, my writing is very based in music, and even though my parents are amateur musicians, I related a lot to the Humphreys right off the dat because music seems such an integral part of the culture of their family, if that makes sense? And my brother and I growing up the way we did, with all the music literacy and piano lessons (later guitar for him) and everything that came with that, I cannot really imagine Dan and Jenny not being skilled musicians, even though they’ve chosen a different genre of art as their career path. It’s one of their character pillars, a piece of their personality that’s shaped them, so musicians!Humphreys always comes into play in a story whether it’s intentional or not

fic emoji asks!

[i-prefer-the-term-antihero]

Additionally, your thoughts on Dracula and Adrian from the Netflix adaptation of Castlevania? I find Dracula really tragic, and the ending scene of Season 2 crushed me because I was not expecting Adrian to cry. He’s usually so stoic and calm that I didn’t think he would weep, I expected him to just shrug it off like heroes usually do, but no, when given time to process everything, the first thing he does is break down into tears. Sypha was right in calling him a brooding teen in an adult body.

Ohh man. If you just take a look at my writing blog (or anywhere I post my fanfiction) it’ll become pretty clear pretty quickly how I feel about them XD So far all my Castlevania fics have been about the Tepes Family. Adrian and Drac are my favorite characters in the series!! (Though I do love pretty much all the characters in it.)

YES YES YES!!

They did an incredible job making Drac sympathetic and tragic. I don’t know if you know anything about the games, and granted, they couldn’t put a lot of story stuff in the games, but (at least as far as I’m aware) in most of them it’s like “ya, he was an evil dude who did evil things because he was evil.” So it actually would have been pretty accurate to the source to make him just an unsympathetic, irredeemable villain, but they didn’t and I LOVE them for it. Playing Symphony of the Night (Alucards game) after watching the series l was almost longing for that Drac I know and love from the series, (though it’s fun to see evil Drac too).

As I’ve said, I adore redeemable villains, and they did an amazing job with him, to the point where pretty much everyone in the fandom adores him, which is extremely tough to accomplish—even if you write a redeemable villain well, often large parts of the fandom don’t see it and hate the character. I knew that the point was that they were going to defeat Drac but I have to say, especially since I originally knew nothing of the games, I was hoping they’d save him by the end.

I think the fact that he liked and was kind to Hector and Isaac was evidence that he wasn’t too far gone. I mean, the only two people he genuinely trusted and liked in his court were human…that’s so interesting, I wish it was at least talked about, either in the show or in the fandom. I think he actually liked humans, partially or especially because of Lisa, he just...was so angry, and needed someone to blame. He probably ultimately blamed himself for not being there to save her, and it was just easier to blame the humans he once hated/didn’t understand, even if in reality he didn’t hate them as much as he thought he did...

Doing more thinking and research into the show for my “If These Walls Could Talk” fic I recognize now that symbolically it made sense even within the show that he died when Lisa died (which I can explain more about if you want but id probably end up going off on a long tangent so I’ll save it)...but I still thought practically, in the show, he could have still been redeemed.

Omg I LOVED that. The longer I take to sit with it, the more I realize just how much I loved that they put him crying instead of shaking it off.

It’s very interesting that Drac and Alucard are more openly emotional characters. I might be totally wrong, but as far as I remember, they (...and Lisa when she dies, and probably Isaac in a flashback), are the only main characters we see openly cry. It’s a pretty bold move to make any of your characters emotional like that, but especially your villain, and your bold handsome hero. It’s sooo easy to get emotional characters and emotions wrong…or just offputting to some people...but more on that later.

I think Adrian and Drac are both rather sentimental, in an odd way. Much of Drac’s motivations in the show and even in the games (the times his motivations are explained) had to do with his wives (yes he was married before Lisa in the games...unless Lament of Innocence was retconned...) which is interesting. So many of his decisions are based on emotion. He lets Lisa in just because he likes her, he goes to war with the world because of Lisa, he sits in his study mourning her loss, he let’s Alucard kill him… I also notice very often he digs his nails into his palms until they bleed, presumably because if he didn’t he’d hurt someone else (in the scene where he hurts Alucard, he does this). His sentimentality doesn’t diminish is power as a villain, which is SO difficult to accomplish.

 I am emotional myself so I absolutely love to see emotional characters, but for most people, seeing even a normal character be emotional diminishes them in their eyes, or makes them whiny, so making your villain even a little emotional, and having that not take away from the audiences perception of their power as a villain is sooooooo hard to do, and I applaud them for making a so well-beloved, and still villainous and intimidating, but also emotional (at times) villain.

For Alucard. I don’t see any problem with him being emotional, but it makes even more sense if he’s a teen in an adult’s body—which was indeed portrayed quite well.

Yes that was interesting when he cried when drawing his parents!! I wasn’t expecting that when I saw him drawing them. I was enjoying and intrigued by his story so much, then when he started crying I was caught off guard—but in a good way. It really made me feel for him, and understand that he was still grieving his mother, and that knew the gravity of what he was currently doing.

I think it’s kind of important to show that kind of thing in a situation like this. It’s easy to think Alucard hates his dad, and they need to show the emotion of the situation to make it clear “no he doesn’t hate his dad, this actually breaks his heart, he just knows he has to do this.”

I loved when he was telling Trevor and Sypha about how much the world would lose by killing Dracula. It’s really interesting that he hides his emotion with them, and that Trevor and Sypha are so stoic. The son of Dracula isn’t the guy you expect to be the only hero who cries.

In “For Love” when Trevor’s like “Don’t get weepy about it” I was sitting there, sobbing, like “No, please get weepy about it! Let the boy cry for goodness sake!! Give me some emotion!!” But I too was not expecting him to cry like he did, and in grieving the death of his parents...

I knew the crying scene was coming because I’d seen pictures of it on here and pinterest, but I had no context for it. In the end it wasn’t just the weeping itself that made the scene so impactful, it was everything surrounding it. I didn’t know it would happen when he was completely alone (and would be for the foreseeable future), and in grieving his parents, or about the ghosts/flashbacks before it (cementing his grief), or that it was literally the last scene of the season, or that there would be no music for both the scene and the credits thereafter.

And that was what really got me.

Because, firstly, we never got to see any flashbacks to his childhood, and that was what I was begging for the entire series (and hence why its what I write about). To finally get it, and it not to just be something the audience gets to see, but something Alucard himself is seeing... a happy memory he’s seeing when he knows that is completely gone, he cannot hope to have it again, and for him to now be in his father’s place…that’s heartbreaking. Like just having your character cry—let alone those kinds of full-on sobs—is painful enough, showing a son grieving his parents is a particularly heart wrenching kind of sadness, but showing that he is haunted by memories of those parents he lost—not only lost but one of which he killed, and, if SOTN is canon for the show, the other of which he could have saved—of a happy childhood, and he is alone with these memories for the foreseeable future...that is truly heart wrenching.

Also the scene with Trevor and Sypha in the wagon earlier in the episode was super sweet, they could have easily put the Adrian crying scene earlier, and had the Trevor and Sypha scene be the last scene of the season (and Trevor’s game actually does end with them looking into the sunset, so ending with the last scene of “For Love” would be accurate as well), and left it on a positive note, and the audience would have been left with a completeness. But they made a conscious choice put his crying scene last, and it was so powerful, because it made you remember that at the end of the day, he isn’t just our bold handsome hero, he was a son who lost both his parents, and that, to him, this isn’t really a triumph, but a loss. It also kinda confirmed that Drac wasn’t an "evil guy, end of story". That there was reason to grieve him, and to show his son grieving, and to leave it there because of it. It was a personal gravity too

In the end, it was the lack of music in the scene, and even more so during the credits, so theres only his tears, and all you are left with in the end is this amplified emptiness that really did me in. I think I literally sat there, tear tracks on my face, my mouth open when I hit the credits.

Playing Symphony of the Night after watching the show is really interesting in exploring his character. I knew there was very little story, so I wasn’t expecting much from the story, but I actually found that I was beyond excited whenever there actually was some story, and the few lines they did say are stuck with me.

Maria comments early on that Alucard’s not very good at talking. At first I just chalked it up to...weird translations or whatever. But the more I played the game and the more I thought about him in the show...I think she’s right. He’s not very good at talking, yet if and when he does talk he’s quite eloquent, and precise with his words. (This actually makes him a somewhat difficult character to write). I wonder if perhaps this has some connection to his emotionalness. He’s very careful with what he says, and this may spread to what he does—such as being careful when he shows emotion. I’m curious why he’s like this. It could just be his nature, but I wonder if as a kid he was ever hated because he was a vampire—maybe people made fun of him, and he cried, and they made more fun of him because of it—and he learned both to hide his emotions, and that he had to be very deliberate and show people he didn’t mean any ill will with his words. (And he looks older than he is so people might call him immature for acting his mental age). All very speculative, of course. But it’d be fun to write about!

Also, another thing from SOTN that is related to this topic, there was a fight that really struck me (enough I actually wrote a fic about it (inverted recurrence)). SOTN takes plays 300 years after the events of The Netflix Series (aka Dracula’s Curse). Most of the bosses don’t seem to have a lot of meaning story-wise, they’re just there for you to fight. The other day I (Alucard) walked into a boss room...and there were Trevor, Sypha, and Grant (who was omitted from the Netflix series). They were fake versions of them, of course. And there’s no dialogue in the fight so maybe I’m just speculating, but what struck me was that the fact that Dracula could use them against him probably means he still cares about them, even after 300 years. It probably also means that they’re some of the only friends he’s ever had. Granted, he was asleep for a good chunk of those 300 years, still. It goes back to that sentimental-ness I was talking about earlier.

I few years ago I watched the Gravity Falls commentaries, and from them I got a lot of the writing advice I still think about and use today. Alex Hirsch said something on this subject which I really liked which is “Hold your tears.” When a character cries they’ve broken, that’s as far as they can go. So if you make a character cry when the audience themselves doesn’t feel the weight of the scene, or it doesn’t feel like the character has broken yet, it can feel like too...much/cheesy, and distance the audience. especially with cartoons where the way it’s drawn can actually affect your sympathy for the character (it can look weird or accentuated).

They did such an awesome job with this by literally holding his tears until the very end. I don’t know how other, non-emotional people felt about it, but Ive don’t know if I’ve ever seen tears used so well in a show, pack such a punch. To have it not just be a part of the scene but literally the focus, and at the end...it was powerful.

Sorry for the long response, and more importantly, I’m beyond sorry for taking so so SOOO long to respond. I hope you enjoy my response, if you see it <3

P.S. For anyone else who made it all the way to the end, I actually have a Castlevania sideblog now: @symphonyofthewrite !! I’d be beyond happy to recieve asks like this over there, if you’d like to hear more of my thoughts!!

[grandtheftaristotle]

K I’ve watched the first 6 episodes of FMAB and here are my thoughts:

The world building in this show is INSANE

How Edward Elric somehow manages to be both hilarious and incredibly tragic is beyond me. Short king <3

EVERY TIME AL TALKS I LITERALLY WANT TO CRY HE SOUNDS SO SMALL

NO WONDER ED IS SO PROTECTIVE OF HIM I MENTALLY ADOPTED HIM THE MINUTE HE SAID HIS FIRST LINE

Also like. Sibling culture. They are so immensely protective of each other but their immediate response to the other almost getting themselves killed is to punch them and call them a dumbass. Their fight in ep 5 CRACKED ME UP

Their mom was hot and I’m sad she died

I AM ALREADY SO OVER PEOPLE SAYING THEY TRIED TO PLAY GOD LIKE. NO BITCH THEY WERE LITERAL CHILDREN WHO JUST WANTED THEIR MOM BACK AND HAD NO PARENTAL GUIDANCE WHEN IT CAME TO ALCHEMY WHAT THE FUCK

Apparently their dad shows up later and he’d better have a damn good excuse or it is ON SIGHT. As of right now he has permanent residence on my shit list til the end of time

Speaking of my shit list, Roy Mustang is a little bitch

ED IN EP 2 AFTER THE TRANSMUTATION FAIL IS LITERALLY THE MOST HEARTBREAKING THING I’VE EVER SEEN. AND MUSTANG’S FIRST RESPONSE WAS TO GRAB THIS DEAD EYED LITTLE KID BY THE SHIRT AND THREATEN HIM???? AND THEN LATER TRY TO RECRUIT HIM TO THE MILITARY????? AND TELL HIM HE’S JUST MOPING???????? BITCH HE’S LIKE FIVE WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM

AND THEN AFTER EP 4 HE’S LIKE ‘yea it sucks but shit happens so stop sulking you baby’ EXCUSÉ MOI MR HIGH AND MIGHTY HE JUST SAW A DAD TRANSMUTE HIS 5 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND HER DOG INTO A CHIMERA FOR KICKS AND GIGGLES. AND YOU’RE TELLING HIM TO SUCK IT UP????????

Thank god Riza is here I genuinely think she has the sole braincell in this team

Speaking of episode 4 HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.

I knew something happened to that little girl and her dog and I had a feeling it would be transmutation after her dad said they could ‘play together’ (BITCH), but that did not even BEGIN to mentally prepare me for that scene

Like I was crying, but also there was this weight in my chest that would not go away

‘Can we play now’ ‘can we play now’ ‘can we play now’ SWEETIE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

And Ed’s reaction to it good GOD. He finally got to be a kid again for one day, but at what cost? In his mind she was just one more sibling he couldn’t save from alchemy

AND SHE ACTUALLY CALLED HIM BIG BROTHER IN THE JAPANESE DUB

Okay I can’t talk about this anymore it genuinely hurts too much

MARKIPLIER MAN IS ADORABLE I’M NOT READY TO WATCH HIM DIE 😭

WINRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I NEED MORE OF HER STAT

ALSO I WATCHED THE PROPOSAL SCENE CAUSE I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF AND OTP OTP OTP OTP OTP OTP OTP OTP

OH YEAH ONE MORE THING ABOUT EP 4: I KNOW SCAR IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE BAD GUY BUT I KINDA LOVE HIM FOR KILLING THE BUTTFACE DAD (and I’m glad he killed the chimera too for the sole purpose of putting her out of her misery; I genuinely think that was the best decision for her)

ALTHOUGH HE DID TRY TO KILL ED IN THE NEXT EPISODE SOOOOOOO ???????????

Idk I’m neutral on him

In conclusion

This is an excellent show

I am Invested

My friend has great taste

I’m excited to meet her favourite character

But ep 4 has me on edge for the rest of this show

K bye