#this reminds me of even more reasons to stay off dating apps | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

heavenlycloud · 2 years ago

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the veil~ ღཾཿ༉ ༘჻ღཾཿ჻

three: the face of a cold blooded killer ‧₊˚ ⋅ ༘☆*.ﾟ

warnings: swearing

pairing: huh yunjin x aespa 5th member! fem reader

summary: IT HAPPENS...yunjin and y/n have their long awaited movie date that's not a date that is a date that isn't. yunjin realizes something about y/n and y/n learns something she didn't know before. they realize they're alike in more ways than one. and of course, both girls being useless gays. keep your eyes open for the small details i don't mean my typos and run on sentences

author notes: i tried to make this update a little lengthy because i'm not sure how much i'll be able to write this upcoming week (i'm nearing finals). my taglist is still open for those of you all who want to be added in, just comment or drop an ask in my inbox! lastly, feedback, comments, reblogs, questions, literally anything but hateful speech is welcome and very much appreciated!

̟ ̇ ˖ಎ˚˖࿔ masterlist 𓂅୨⊹ ₊˚๑

you flopped onto your bed and let out an relieved exhale that your day had finally come to a close. with a comeback only days away, you and your members had been finishing work around 2 AM just to get back up around 5 AM. however, for the next three days, work days were finishing early so that you didn’t look tired when the showcase and other activities began. you opened your text messages for the first time since this afternoon, just to see your friends blowing up your notifications.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚✭・彡♡・✫.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

you set your phone aside and opened your laptop to log into the streaming service website that was connected to your Veil app. it took a few tries before you correctly put in your password and found Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. you checked the time again and saw it change to 9:00 PM. not even a second late, your laptop chimed and you saw the video call icon lighting up indicating that your match was calling you. the excitement you had was replaced with anxiety as your finger hovered over the answer button. not wishing to miss the call you answered and immediately your camera turned off and the voice filter was activated.

there was a beat of absolute silence on both ends of the call until you both burst into laughter at the awkwardness. despite the voice filter and the girl’s blurred camera, you could see her silhouette double over before flipping her long hair over her shoulder when she sat back up once her laughter subsided. she was the first to speak, the smile evident in her voice, “hi jasmine.” you shyly replied, “hi lyra.” silence fell over the two of you once again before you blurted out, “i’m sorry this is so fucking weird!” the girl nodded in agreement and said, “this reminds me of like high school on the zoom calls when you had to ask a teacher a question after class, y’know?”

you let out another laugh and added on, “wait did you ever fall asleep during class on accident or something and you woke up and it was just you and the teacher?” yunjin snorted and said, “not me but one of my friends did and i knew because we would text each other during the class. so when the class ended i kept asking questions to the teacher so i had a reason to stay on the zoom call. but i was also calling my friend’s phone at the same time.” you admitted between laughs, “you’re better than me because i would have left the call so quickly.” the girl laughed even harder then said slowly, clearly distracted by typing on her laptop, “let me just log into the streaming service-”

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚✭・彡♡・✫.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

yunjin hummed to herself as she made her way through the different movie titles that were on her watchlist until she found the one she needed. you both went to press play and just then someone else entered her room and loudly whined, “unnie!!!! i need help with my math homework.” yunjin motioned to her laptop that was very clearly on with you on the other side of the video call as a polite, “now’s not a good time” reminder. eunchae pouted and explained, “i know you’re on a date right now but i don’t know how to do this and it’s due tomorrow. also everyone else told me to ask you since you got into university.” yunjin felt her breath hitch when the maknae said ‘date’ but she tried to brush it off, hoping that if she pretended she didn’t hear it then maybe you didn’t either you totally did.

eunchae held up the worksheet that she was assigned which had three unanswered math problems on it. yunjin pushed her glasses further up her nose and skimmed them over, not recognizing what any of the instructions were asking. she sighed and said, “i haven’t taken a math class in like 5 years.” eunchae stared back at the paper and tried to make the instructions sound easy, “i only need help on the last one. all you have to do is find an equation of the line tangent to the graph of f at x equals 1.” yunjin looked over the last math problem then said simply, “um…the limit does not exist.” you failed to hold in your laugh at the movie quote while eunchae was far less amused, “unnie, you can’t just quote that lindsay lohan movie at me and expect me to accept that.” yunjin was genuinely stuck because she didn’t remember a damn thing from her calculus class she took in junior year of high school. the american brought her hands to her head and raked her hands through her long black hair, “well i- i don’t know.” eunchae pleaded desperately, “unnie please, anything you remember.”

you watched the entire conversation unfold before you and honestly you could feel for both parties. when you were in high school, your family was no help when it came to the assignments that troubled you. even now minji came to you for homework help and sometimes you didn’t know the answers when she really needed them. finally you decided to just see if they’d let you help, “hey i know this might be out of place but i might be able to help.” both girls responded in unison almost immediately, “yes please.” there was a smile on your face as you instructed, “yeah sure just send me a picture of the problem. when you looked over the function you felt a slight burst of excitement at the realization that you knew exactly how to solve the solution.

you grabbed the journal and pen off of your nightstand and spoke as you began working through the problem, “looking at the function, you’ll note that f(1) equals (7/4)e which means the tangent line passed through the point x equals 1 and y equals (7/4)e. also you’ll see that f isn’t raised to a variable power which means the ordinary rules of differentiation do apply. and because this problems is so algebraically complicated, you’re gonna want to apply the natural logarithm first so that differentiation will be easier. now apply the natural logarithm to both sides of the equation and use the algebraic properties of logarithms then tell me what you get.”

on the other end of the call, eunchae was frantically writing away while yunjin peered over her shoulder trying to understand what you were talking about. the younger girl read off her answers and you approved, “right. so now differentiate both sides of this equation, and note that both sides need the chain rule.” once again you waited for eunchae to read her answer and when she did you praised, “perfect so now i want you to differentiate it and read me the answer again.” this time when she read the answer you paused, “mmm look at the last part of the equation one more time. watch the signs.” a smile spread across your face when you heard the younger girl correct herself, “oh it’s plus 2 over 3-x.”

you hummed in agreement and said, “okay now multiply both sides of this equation by f(x). eunchae murmured aloud as she wrote more down and you prompted once more, “now the slope of the line tangent to the graph of f at x equals 1 is?” eunchae read her answer off, and asked, “(7/4)e (53/7- ln5) .so does that mean the equation of the line tangent to that is y-(7/4)e= (7/4)e (53/7- ln5)(x-1) ?” you beamed, “yeah that it! good job, that was a really complicated one honestly.” the younger girl tried to give you credit which you quickly told her, “i might have helped but you did all the hard work on your own.” yunjin stared at the smile eunchae had on her face, one that she hadn’t seen all night because of this exact homework assignment.

the younger member hugged yunjin for the night and exclaimed, “unnie, your date is so cool!” yunjin blushed at the comment and you felt a small raise in your heart rate at this being the second time you’d been referenced as the girl’s date. before yunjin could try to play it off, eunchae leaned over her member and waved to the camera, “thank you unnie! Byeeee!” you laughed and said, “bye bye.” eunchae skipped out of yunjin’s room with her journal tucked under her arm before closing the door behind herself.

yunjin apologized, “i’m sorry about that i didn’t think she was gonna come in my room.” you laughed and waved it off, “it’s no big deal really, my little sister does the same thing to me.” yunjin asked curiously, “you have a little sister?” you hummed in confirmation, “yeah she’s 19 right now.” yunjin gasped in genuine surprise, “no way- me too! that’s so crazy.” you agreed and then she asked, “wait- how are you so good at math?” honestly you didn’t know how to answer her so you just shrugged, “i don’t know i’ve always been better at science and math instead of history and languages i guess? like with math and science everything has an explained answer for the most part, and finding the answer is pretty standard. so nothing is really up to individual interpretation, it just is what it is and it’s pretty much the same for everyone.” yunjin leaned on her fist and teased you, “how poetic.” you sucked your teeth and rolled your eyes, “oh hush.”

although you knew time was slowly slipping, you wanted to bring it up while it was still relevant, “she said you got into university?” the american leaned back against her headboard and explained to you, “i didn’t think you’d catch that…but yeah i was supposed to start university in the fall after graduation. then i got a call from my company saying they wanted me to be a trainee for a girl group, and i had to come to korea immediately.” she waited for the typical reply of disapproval she got when she explained the past situation to people. it always led to her explaining far more than she wanted to about herself. however, she was surprised when you asked genuinely, “did you know what you were going to study?” yunjin laughed a bit to herself as she answered, “business.” before you could answer yunjin asked you, mostly as a way to learn more about you, “did you take the college entrance exam?” she was partially expecting you to say you didn’t bother because that’s how most idols ended up.

she was pleasantly surprised when you admitted, “i finished my second year in university before i had to drop out.” she let out a gasp and whispered, “no way- jasmine-” you laughed and rubbed the back of your neck, “yeah…i was exactly half finished. i managed to balance school and being an idol pretty well but then work picked up faster than i thought it would so school went on the back burner."

yunjin was even more intrigued so she asked, “what did you study?” you answered simply, “gerontology and neuroscience.” there was a beat of silence before yunjin whispered, “what is germontology?” her cheeks grew pink when you laughed a bit before telling her, “gerontology. and it’s basically studying old people problems and neuroscience is brain science. i planned to study parkinson’s or alzheimer's disease.” you paused and realized the weight of the topic so you jokingly added on, “and now i get paid to wear high school uniforms and bark for fans.” yunjin snorted and tilted her head back as she laughed at your unexpected comment.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚✭・彡♡・✫.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

yunjin and you managed to get through the first movie without problems and most of the second one. however, right as there were thirty minutes left you started to fall asleep and yunjin could tell clear as day. you fought to keep your eyes open as you watched the scene play out on your laptop but yawning every few seconds made things all the more difficult. the american asked you quietly, “jas, are you falling asleep on me?” you refused and sleepily insisted, “no, ’m awake.” only for you to begin dozing off a minute later, soft soft snores falling past your lips as your breaths grew deeper and slowed down. she made a mental note of the timestamp so she could rewatch the part with you another time. yunjin knew that you had been working hard on top of it being well after 1 AM so she didn’t mind at all. the fist that you weren’t leaning on was wrapped around your other wrist with your grip slowly loosening as you slept. suddenly, your hand fell onto your keyboard and you accidentally turned your camera on. yunjin’s breath caught in her chest as she stared at her screen, paying no mind to the ending scene of the movie. she panicked and frantically ended the call with her hand over her mouth, holding back a shout since all of her members were also asleep. she sat and stared straight ahead before letting out a breath,

“oh my god-”

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚✭・彡♡・✫.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

bonus: tweets from yunjin and y/n +their moots (ft eunchae and her friends)

♡‧₊˚˘͈ᵕ˘͈‎ 彡♡ ༘*.ﾟ .·:¨༺ ʚ♡ɞ༻¨*:·.﹢࿐ ☆

taglist: @https-f4iryjin @awkwardtoafault @seungspolaroid

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bridge-supplies · 2 years ago

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#4.2: Build God, Then We'll Talk

Attention is the most basic form of love. Using social media to amplify and focus our attention can simultaneously be a blessing, curse, superpower and virus.

What are the social media platforms I've used, and how have they helped me love?

Part 2 of 2: Twitter, Snapchat, Reddit, Mastodon, & Threads.

5. Twitter (2011-2022)

Ah, Twitter. Everyone on the internet has an opinion about the bird app. And much like the sequels to the Matrix movie, we don't talk about what came afterward (*cough*X*cough*). Much like Instagram, I've had an on-and-off relationship with this app. Before being "perpetually online" was a common term, Twitter was as simple as Facebook's status updates, but for any thought you had. When I returned to revamp my Twitter in the late winter / early spring of 2022, my housekeeping revealed some of my earliest tweets: quotes I liked from books, New Girl, pretentious philosophers, and other friends; random updates of my whereabouts in college; some thoughts on life, the universe, and everything.

What I returned to was quite a different world. Within months of my return, a certain unnamed billionaire declared their intent to purchase the entire network and remold it in his image. What had once felt like a "public square" to see updates from journalists, scientists, and public figures had become a breeding ground for proto-fascist extremism.

Lovability: 4/10. Something about the bird app always attracted a small but vocal type of people to share their views, and even more people to just watch. Like a trainwreck in slow motion, sometimes you can't help but stare and watch the chaos unfold in real-time. I'm not sure why this platform has cultured so many anti-human sentiments -- perhaps the incentivization to toss out every thought has stopped us from reviewing our thoughts with the time and attention they deserve.

6. Snapchat (2012-2020)

When first introduced to the concept of disappearing messages as the basis of an entire social media app, my young adult brain could not fathom how it wasn't exclusively used for inappropriate purposes. Eventually, the ephemerality of the platform began to make sense in a day-by-day perspective. Since you can only see posts from the last 24 hours, it prompts you to keep more up to date with the daily goings-on of your friends, even if it does allow you to see in real-time the events you weren't invited to. Ultimately, Instagram's Stories copy-cat of Snapchat's primary feature had me finding fewer reasons to stay with Snapchat as a platform (especially because of their pretty awful Android app support for many years).

Lovability: 6/10. Snapchat changed the way that I thought about what social media could be. Ephemerality is an important aspect of what should make a truly human social network. Nothing is permanent, yet most social media feels cast in stone for all to see in perpetuity. Unfortunately, the novelty of their approach wasn't captured or implemented well by the platform, succumbing to clickbait-y news feeds and celebrity gossip.

7. Reddit (2013-2023?)

I arrived late to the Reddit party, but it's one that's been hard to leave. Officially just a "link aggregator" service with a primarily American audience, the communities on Reddit ("subreddits") have become known as a source of relatively authentic commentary on everything from tech and service reviews to maple syrup. Over the years I've found several niche communities that have been difficult to replicate elsewhere, like news for my favorite mobile game, or a community based around the channelings from a sixth-density social memory complex.

Reddit certainly has had its own problems, mostly exemplified by their arrogant CEO. The most recent drama around them killing off most 3rd party apps by raising API prices from free to $millions (inspired by Twitter's identical changes) reminded me that no social network owned centrally is safe from manipulation, and going against the will of their participants.

Lovability: 8.5/10. Communities organized around shared interests are inherently more powerful than free-for-all public squares. They show us that we all have something we're nerdy about and want to discuss with others, while also reminding us that not everyone has to enjoy the same things (and that's okay). While Reddit is much more of an "intentionally anonymous" social platform when compared to more classic social media like Facebook or Instagram, it can allow us to be more of our authentic selves without feeling the need to perform for those that know us personally.

8. Mastodon (2016?)

Speaking of centralized social networks: Enter, federated social networks. While admittedly I have barely used this network, mostly signing up on a meme-related server years ago and forgetting about it, the recent resurgence of the ActivityPub platform it's based on has spurred many more platforms to adopt the same technology (Lemmy and Kbin also use the protocol, while Tumblr has announced intentions to adopt it in the future, as well as Instagram's Threads). This is, fundamentally, the next evolution in the way we interact with social networks.

A "federated" social network basically means that anyone can host one of these services themselves, while allowing each separate server to talk to each other and share users and posts in the same kinds of readable formats. Think of it like how email is currently designed: one person can sign up for an gmail.com address and send mail to a yahoo.com address, and both services understand how to share and display that information. ActivityPub is that, but for social networking functionality such as following, liking, and commenting, in addition to "messaging" like you could consider email.

Lovability: ?/10. I can't give this technology a proper review yet as I have yet to create a new account or share it much with friends. The potential of this kind of technology being popularized by Mastodon & its related platforms cannot be understated. First came email and chat rooms, then came algorithmic social feeds centrally controlled to optimize the selling of ads. What comes next is a decentralized network of networks which can all talk to each other. The long-term impact of this is yet to be seen.

9. Threads (2023-)

Meta decided it wanted a piece of the "microblogging" pie, probably after watching Twitter's trainwreck for long enough to realize how to replicate it without the drama. From its initial launch becoming the fastest downloaded app in history (beating out OpenAI's ChatGPT from months prior), it was clear that the hunger for a new platform has been real for many people. And with their announcement that the platform will be utilizing the same ActivityPub standard that has been fueling decentralized developments in smaller networks, the stage feels set for a social media revolution around the corner. My only hope is that this revolution allows us to be a part of healthier, more intentionally designed communities that can still talk and share perspectives with each other in respectful ways.

Lovability: 7.5/10. While the long-term impact of Threads is undetermined, it signals that a community built with the intentionality of its creators to be a calmer, more friendly place to be, can attract just as much attention as networks that strive off strife and ad revenue. What remains to be seen is whether its adoption of ActivityPub could assist in accelerating a positive trend in the development of more intentional digital social communities.

#part 2 #blog post #josh

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bella-studyblr · 3 years ago

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Task Management:

Creating + Maintaining a Schoolwork Schedule

Key elements

Your schedule suits your individual time/task management preferences.

It is flexible enough to accommodate sudden changes, plus fluctuating energy levels, states of concentration, symptoms and moods.

Daily tasks are not over-whelming; they are small enough that they are achievable.

You do not get “burned out.”

It allows you to be consistent.

Steps to create your schedule

Decide if you want your planner to be paper or digital

Find an “order” that’s logical and achievable for you (more on this later)

Refer to your addendum/syllabus and write down all the assignments, tests and other events taking place that week/month (and their due-dates).

Then break these down, assigning tasks to each day of the week (more on this later).

Break down your tasks even further (more on this later).

Decide if you want to follow a simple daily to-do list or a timed schedule (more on this later).

Find your “order(s)”

Mandatory: Schedule assignments around other commitments (work, social, hobbies, etc.).

Do the hardest task first to get it out of the way (so that the rest of your tasks are less daunting, and because your smaller tasks require less energy therefore can be done even after completing the hard task).

Do the easiest task first to build momentum (give yourself a feeling of accomplishment which will motivate you to continue, and boost your self-confidence early in the day to establish a positive mindset for the rest of the day).

Do the task that’s due first to minimize deadline stress, and so your assignments don’t fall through the cracks (causing you to get discouraged and lose momentum).

Plan according to your energy level throughout the day and week: Do you have Pilates once a week? Maybe you can reserve that day for easier assignments. If you know you’re going to be tired for whatever reason, account for that in your planning.

Consider your state of concentration: If you know you’re too groggy or spaced out for the first hour of your day, you can either schedule easy tasks in that time, or none at all. If you take a medication in the afternoon/evening that makes you tired, schedule easier tasks or none, and get harder tasks done earlier/later in the day. If you have ADHD and crowded places mess with your concentration, but you like studying at a café, go when it’s not busy.

Be mindful of your emotions and symptoms: If you have depression, or are prone to depressive episodes, you’ll need to consider that when scheduling. You might have to rework your entire schedule when you get into a depressive episode (like adding lots of breaks). If suddenly you’re going through a big life event (like a breakup), you need to account for that when scheduling. For instance, if you can’t stand to be alone, maybe you can go out instead of staying in, and if your motivation is low, you may need to up your reward-system or break down your tasks even more.

Break down this week/month’s tasks

Refer to your addendum/syllabus and write down all your due dates for the time period you’re scheduling for.

Based on due dates, outside commitments, predictions of energy/mood/symptoms, assign assignments to the days of the week/month that make most sense for you.

Break down daily tasks into sub-tasks

You can do this (in advance) for your full week/month’s assignments, or do it every morning/evening.

Generally, your assignments will follow a variation of this formula: brainstorm, create an outline, research, write rough draft, edit and revise. Test/exam prep will look something like: check to see what the test is based on, pinpoint important sections, review to see how well you know the material, create a list of items to study, rewrite select notes, make flash cards, study topic 1, study topic 2, etc.

What are the individual components of these steps? Here are some examples. Brainstorm: what should my topic be, what should my thesis be, what points can support my thesis, what do I need to research, what questions do I need to ask my prof? Outline: topic, thesis, points, conclusion. Research: write down all the important parts from each source (separately), then sift through to sort into Supporting Point 1, Supporting Point 2, etc. Rough draft: opening statement(s), intro, point 1, point 2, etc., conclusion, closing statement(s). Edit/revise: read and check for grammar only, then read again and check for spelling only, read again and check for cohesiveness only, etc. Topic 1: Part A, Part B, etc.

Each of these small components can be individual items on your to-do list. Big tasks like, “write essay” are too big for most people. Even “write rough draft” is daunting. If you start with something specific and small like brainstorming, and work your way up, it’s a lot easier to approach. Plus, being able to check off tasks more often and more easily will boost your confidence and your sense of competence, thus building momentum.

Here is a sample to-do list: Research X for Point 1 of Literary Essay, create outline for History Essay, Edit/Revise Assignment 1, study Topic 1 and Topic 2 for Test 1.

To-do list or time-based schedule?

To do list: Write down all your assignments for the day. Put them in the order you want to do them, or go through them intuitively (based on what you feel like doing, or what’s most practical at the time/place you’re at).

Timed-based: Write down all your assignments, then write down the time you’re going to do each of them. You could set reminders or alarms if you want, or simply refer to the list. There’s an awesome app I recommend if this is your thing. It’s called Structured (iOS only).

Curate your study environment for maximum focus

Eliminate distractions such as uncomfortable clothing, sounds (or silence), phone and computer notifications, clutter in the room and on your desk, people who may try to talk to you (shut your door and/or inform them that you’re busy).

Designate a space to doing homework only and avoid spaces that you associate with other things (do not study in bed, as you will want to relax or sleep, and/or you will mess with your sleep by weakening the bed’s association with sleep).

Build associations: Incorporate other events and items into your study/homework routine that you only use while doing that, so that you associate those things with studying/homework (examples: specific playlists, pencils/pens, cups/bottles, scents, rituals, decor, etc.).

Ensure good lighting (preferably including daylight).

Get dressed in clothes that make you feel good about yourself. They don’t have to be “professional” and they should definitely be comfortable. Do not stay in your pyjamas. Believe me, I know this can be hard, and I love PJ’s. But they are not good for productivity.

Don’t “multi-task.” It may feel like you’re getting more done this way, but by splitting your focus, not only do tasks take longer, they also diminish in quality. Commit to the task you’re doing.

Meditate: You can even meditate for just 1-5 mins right before studying, homework and/or classes.

Practice self care (daily!)

Sleep (enough, well, and regularly).

Daylight: Get outside, work by windows, use a light therapy box. These can help regulate your sleep, improve and maintain mental health, and boost energy.

Fresh air: Getting outside even for a couple minutes can help you refresh and reset, and feel good about yourself and your life. Fresh oxygen can help you wake up and is great for your health. Even just opening your window can do a lot for your mood, energy and motivation.

Movement: Try to move at least once per day. The benefits of exercise are numerous and immense.

Healthy and consistent eating: Avoid spikes in insulin levels by eating regularly so you don’t have extreme dips in your energy level. Also, brain power uses calories too, so make sure you’re eating consistently, and try to eat healthy. There are so many other reasons eating consistently is good for your health (and by extension, your productivity).

Relaxation and leisure: Make time for fun and socializing, as well as intentional relaxation. Hobbies, movies/tv, time with friends/family, meditation, baths, progressive muscle relaxation, etc.

Therapy: Your therapy sessions are not daily, but you can do 5 minutes of inner-work per day based on what you and your therapist are currently working on. Working with a therapist is a great way to stay on track with your goals, and develop the skills and positive mindset required for success in school.

Reward yourself

Track progress: Reflect on all the assignments you’ve completed and your grades to remind yourself that you’re capable!

Completing to-do lists daily maintains a sense of accomplishment which keeps your momentum going. Check those items off! Or give yourself gold stars! ⭐️

Treat yourself with non-food rewards: Tie completed school work with fun tasks like video games, or take yourself out for coffee, or some other small (non-food) outing. What I’m trying to do right now is not do my leisure activities until my daily tasks are done.

Develop a positive mindset

Take promises you make to yourself seriously. The more you break promises to yourself, the easier it will get to continue breaking promises. You will lose respect for yourself which lowers motivation, and you will lose trust in yourself which can become debilitating as well. The more you keep promises, the easier it will get, the more motivated you’ll become, and the more you’ll trust and respect yourself. Your confidence will improve, and you’ll feel better about yourself. Productivity is choosing yourself. Discipline is choosing what’s best for you instead of what you feel like doing in the moment. Discipline is a muscle, and like any muscle, it can be strengthened, and it can atrophy.

Remember your “why.” What is the end goal of being in school? What’s your career path, and why did you choose it? What will your life be like when you have that career? What would your life be like if you gave up and didn’t make it to your goal? Aiming for your dream while running from your nightmare is a great strategy for maintaining motivation. Lighting a fire under your *** can be a huge motivator.

Remember how good you feel when you get schoolwork done, and let this motivate you to stay consistent. You can also remember how you feel when you don’t get work done, but definitely focus more on the positive!

Go to therapy and/or hire a coach. There are SO many benefits to therapy and I’d honestly need a whole other post to get into it. You don’t need to be depressed or mentally ill at all in order to benefit from talking to a therapist. They can even help you with time management, procrastination, motivation and more! If you can afford it, please do it. It’s such a worthwhile investment.

Be consistent

No “zero days.” Do at least a bit of homework or studying every day so you don’t slip into vacation mode. Make schoolwork a daily part of your life, so it just becomes the norm.

Build productivity momentum (track progress, check items off your to-do list daily, treat yourself, keep promises to yourself, remember your “why,” remember how success feels).

Stay on top of projects. Your assignments are made up of smaller tasks you assign yourself across time. “Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.” - Robert Collier

Avoid burnout (more on this later).

Keep it interesting (more on this later).

Avoid burnout

Self-care: shower and/or bathe regularly, maintain proper sleep habits, stay hydrated, take care of your skin, do relaxation activities like meditation and reading, do fun activities, pamper yourself every now and then with face masks or foot baths, take your meds as prescribed, eat well and regularly, get outside often, move daily, etc.

Break up study/homework sessions into small, manageable chunks of time, with constructive (refreshing) breaks in between.

Break assignments down into even smaller tasks so that you aren’t over-working yourself during the course of a day, and so that you don’t overwhelm yourself (the stress can lead to burnout).

School-life balance: Keep up with your social life as best as you can, make time for your hobbies, maintain self-care, say no to things that don’t serve you, etc. Try to follow through with scheduled schoolwork 100% of the time, but know that you won’t. Sometimes you’ll need to prioritize mental health over schoolwork (be careful though, this is a very fine line, and a slippery slope). Sometimes things will come up and it’ll be out of your control. But more than anything else, there will be times when you just decide to prioritize something else like fun and socializing over schoolwork. This is why your schedule needs to be flexible: to accommodate sudden invites to hang out and random decisions to skip a homework/study session, but more importantly, flexibility will reduce the odds that you’ll skip in the first place. If your schedule includes hobbies and socializing, and anything else that’s important to you, then you won’t feel deprived. If you have school-life balance, you’ll have more of yourself to devote to schoolwork when it’s time to.

Keep it interesting

Romanticize your life by putting effort into making all of your daily tasks a special occasion.

Make meals and drinks special by using your favourite dinnerware and cutlery. Perhaps even incorporate extra elements such as: a beautiful tablecloth, napkins, candles and/or dim lighting, music, wearing your favourite clothing, etc.

Pretend you’re the main character in a movie about a successful, productive student (because you are the main character in your life).

Make games out of studying if this is something that interests you (the Forest app comes to mind).

Use lots of colours in your notes and buy colourful stationary! 🌈

Vary your approach/methods if needed to avoid boredom.

Study with friends (online or in person).

Reward yourself often.

Remember your “why.”

3K notes · View notes

scuttling · 4 years ago

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Those Who Wait

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader Word Count: 4,985 Tags: 18+, Loss of virginity, Insecure reader, Fingering, Protected sex Summary: When you let it slip to the team that you've never had sex, they make it their mission to help you find someone who will make your dreams a reality. *Requested by anons!

Link to A03 or read below! “I don’t know how many times I have to reiterate this, but I am not a virgin,” Spencer says, palms up, and it’s clear this is something he’s reminded the team of on more than one occasion. You’re on the jet on the way home from a case, all of you gathered around chattering mindlessly to decompress, with the exception of Hotch, who is in his usual seat, working on his computer.

“And I never said I was talking about you,” you reply, with a tone just shy of smartass. You regret bringing it up already, because this will open the door to a topic you did not want to discuss with the team, ever, but you can’t put the cat back in the bag.

“Hold on. Are you…?” Emily grins a little, but her face drops into a frown when she notices the change in your demeanor, the tension in your shoulders. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, at all.”

“You’re a virgin? Really? You’re almost thirty,” Morgan says, leaning forward to look at you, and you nod, shrug. “Is it a religious thing? Saving yourself for marriage?” You scoot back in your seat, blow out a breath, use the casual posture to try to mask your discomfort.

“Nope, it’s not a religious thing. I’m just waiting for someone who’s worth it.”

“If you’re waiting for the perfect person,” JJ says, folding forward, hands clasped in front of her, “you’re going to be waiting forever.”

You sigh, because this is exactly the reason you didn’t want to bring this up.

“I’m not waiting for the perfect person. For a long time, I didn’t have time to date, and I was—you know, satisfied, without it, so it wasn’t an issue.” Your cheeks heat a little when you say it, and you rub a hand over the back of your neck. “But lately I’ve kind of shifted toward wanting to have sex, to find someone to make the connection with. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but I do have standards.”

“Don’t put pressure on yourself to do it. You’ve waited this long, why rush into things?” Emily says with a soft smile, and you reciprocate, grateful.

“I actually think it might be better if she just goes for it,” Morgan disagrees. Why aren’t you surprised? “Get it in, get it on, and get it over with. Then you won’t feel like it’s hanging over your head.”

“I’m trying. It’s not that I’m not trying. I’m going on dates; they’re all just really, really bad dates—like, the worst I’ve ever been on.”

“How many dates?” JJ asks with an arched brow, and you grimace.

“In the last month? Twelve.” Morgan laughs out loud, and you kind of want to punch him.

“Twelve first dates in the last month and you can’t get laid? Where are you finding these guys?”

“This stupid dating app Garcia convinced me to sign up for. They all seem fine on their profiles—”

“Oh, no, you can’t go by their profiles. Complete bullshit,” Emily says, and you throw your hands up in frustration.

“How else am I supposed to know what they’re like? They’re strangers.”

“Your first time shouldn’t be with a stranger.” You’re a little surprised when it’s Spencer who chimes in; everyone turns to look at him. “You’re a lot like me, and I know that I was nervous and insecure, and waiting for the right person made it a really great experience for me. I think you should wait for someone you know will make it meaningful.”

“She’s going to be waiting ‘til she’s eighty,” Morgan says with a grin, but he pats you on the back. “And if you do, I guess that’s okay. Not every guy can be a catch like yours truly.”

“Oh, spare us,” JJ says with a laugh, and you move on to other topics for the rest of the flight.

When you go to grab your luggage before heading back to the office, it’s just you and Hotch left on the jet; he’s been quiet for most of the trip, but when he steps up next to you, he says your name, low, to get your attention.

“I just wanted you to know, you deserve to be treated well… your first time. You should wait for someone you know will make it meaningful, like Reid said.” You just look at him for a moment, not sure what to say.

Part of you knows what you want to say. You want to say, is it worth it? You want to say, how will I know? You want to say, would you make it meaningful?

What you say is, “Thanks, Hotch.” He nods, hands you your bag, then takes his, closes the luggage compartment; he gestures for you to go ahead of him, and the two of you exit the plane.

You all go back to the office. Everyone hangs around for a few minutes, but Hotch goes up to his office, turns on the lights, sits down at his desk, and takes off his jacket. He’s in for a long night, then. You’re just getting ready to leave when Garcia strolls over, bag in hand.

“Hey, girl. How was that date the other night? Haven’t gotten to talk to you about anything other than murder the last few days.” She notices that your eyes are on Hotch’s office, looks up at him and back down at you. “Is everything okay, hon?” The concern in her voice snaps you out of it, and you look to her, smile.

“Yeah, everything’s okay. The date was not, though. I’ll walk out with you.” You grab your things, throw your jacket over your arm, and take one last look up at Hotch’s office before making your way to the parking garage. You go on seven more dates over the course of three weeks that are a complete waste of time and effort. Who knew having what you consider relatively basic standards would make losing your virginity so goddamn difficult? You know you’re not a knockout like JJ or Emily, and sometimes your nerves get the best of you, but you’ve been pretty charming, funny, all dolled up and putting out clear, but not desperate, DTF vibes.

The longer your quest drags on, the more embarrassing it gets. It actually becomes a part of the morning meeting: as soon as you enter the briefing room each day, Morgan raises his eyebrows, and you shake your head. He’s keeping a tally. You want to die a little bit.

Finally, you’re sitting at home one evening when you get the call from JJ that you’ll be heading to Miami for a case first thing the next morning. You thank her for letting you know, but before she hangs up, she says, “Bring a dress, something sexy. If we have an extra night, we’re going to a club and getting you laid.”

You stammer, a little embarrassed at the directness, but you pack a short, light, red dress, something appropriate for a humid Miami night, on the off chance you’ll actually get to go out.

The case is solved in a day and a half, and you are going to stay the night again, so JJ and Emily make it their mission to get you ready for a night out, and Morgan and Spencer make it their mission to scope out your potential partners and check for red flags before you even get close to them.

It’s sweet, kind of wholesome, when you ignore the fact they’re trying to get you fucked.

You have a drink at the outdoor bar, try to loosen up a little; the place is swarming with gorgeous, supermodel looking women with very little clothing on, breasts and ass everywhere you turn, and you feel inadequate, self-conscious in your little red dress. You freaking hate Miami.

You get glances from Morgan and Spencer, nudges of encouragement from Emily and JJ—even Hotch is around somewhere, part of the red flag detail, which you hadn’t expected—and you’re so close to giving up when a song comes on that you know and absolutely love.

Sex is outside your realm of knowledge, but dancing you can do, and you wrap your hand around Emily’s wrist and tell her you want to. JJ takes your drinks, sets them on the table, and the three of you head out to the dance floor.

It’s clear they didn’t expect much of your dancing, because they looked surprised as hell that you know how to work your body to the music, putting your arms on JJ’s shoulders and moving against her. She looks up, grins at Emily over your head, and cocks her eyebrow, impressed.

“Not that innocent after all,” she says, and you toss your head lightly, laugh.

“Said I was a virgin, not that I was innocent.” The three of you dance together, and you’re approached by several guys who try to get behind you, in between you, closer anyway they can. JJ and Emily are selective with who they entertain and who they give the brush off, and you’re grateful, because despite the outcome, you’re having a good time, and you never would have done this alone.

Eventually, a man comes over, wants to dance with you specifically; the girls exchange looks, give you a nudge, and you put your arms around his neck, let him rest his hands on your hips.

He’s pretty hot, you have to admit, a little under six feet tall, with dark hair and eyes and a nice smile, and dancing against him feels good. If it’s any indication of what if would be like to have sex with him, you’d let him take you home in a heartbeat. Of course, it’s been pre-planned that you’ll go back to your room upstairs if you hook up, so your people are nearby in case anything goes wrong; it’s maybe a little weird, the thought of your coworkers being cheerleaders while you lose your virginity, but what about this isn’t weird? At this point, you’re just going with the flow.

This guy is nice enough, doesn’t go straight for your ass like other guys you danced with, but you can’t help feeling like something’s missing; you pull back, get his attention so you can tell him thanks for the dance, but you’re going to go back to your friends.

You don’t get a chance to say that, because you’re guided away from him by two strong hands on your waist. You turn, ready to tell someone off for getting handsy with you, but it’s Hotch, so the defensive posture you’d slipped into softens.

“Oh, hey. What’s going on? Is everything okay?” you ask loudly; his expression is serious, his brows pulled down in a frown. He shakes his head, leans in closer.

“I can’t let you go through with that—with him,” Hotch says in your ear, still hard to hear over the thrum of the music, and you put your hand on his shoulder, lean up so you can speak into his.

“What? Why not?” you ask, breathless from dancing and the heat. “JJ and Emily thought he seemed alright.” You didn’t actually want to go through with it, but that’s not important at the moment, not when Hotch is clearly trying to get some kind of point across.

“It’s not that, I just—you deserve better.” You frown, not sure you heard him right, and one of the hands on your waist moves lower; he presses you closer. “I don’t know if you would consider it, but I could do it. I could be the one.”

“The one?” you breathe. You need to hear him say it to confirm it’s not all in your head, that you aren’t taking anything out of context.

“The one you sleep with. The one to show you how good it can be. The one who will treat you well.”

You take a step back, have to see his face; is this pity, kindness, genuine interest? Because for the last few weeks, after every bad date, you’ve come back to the thought of Hotch kissing you, touching you, taking you apart. You know his hands are capable, you know he is kind and gentle, and it’s only the thought of him that keeps you from leaving with the first guy to show you attention. You’re so frustrated, never more desperate to feel than you have been since he told you you deserved something good.

He swallows when you look up at him, and your heart races.

“If you want to, I want to. No pressure if you don’t,” he assures you. What he’s saying is so unexpected, but so perfect, and you nod, wet your lips, lean back up on your toes to put your mouth to his ear.

“I want to. I trust you.” Feeling bold, you brush a hand over the back of his head, press your lips to the side of his neck. “Please?”

“Are you sure?” He sounds as tense as you feel, holds you tightly, like he needs to make sure this is really happening. You cling to him just as tightly, nod your head against his throat, and he squeezes your waist, ushers you across the crowded patio and inside the cool air of the hotel. You both sigh, because it’s quieter, more comfortable, and your gaze lingers over his body until he pulls you in for a gentle kiss.

You’ve done your fair share of kissing, and Hotch is so good at it, his hands on your face, his lips softer than you would have imagined, but firm in the way they press against yours. When the kiss breaks, you bring your hands to his wrists, breathing heavily, and then lean in to follow up with a kiss of your own.

He smiles softly, and you smile back, then slip your hand into his and let him lead you to the elevator. You’re not sure if it’s the night of dancing, the heat, the thrill of not only having sex after waiting so long, but having sex with Hotch, or what, but you feel changed; you’re a grown adult, you know that losing your virginity doesn’t mean much, doesn’t change who you are fundamentally, but the thought of experiencing it gives you a stomach full of butterflies in the best way possible.

“Would you like to go to my room, or yours?” he asks when you board the elevator, and he presses the button for the third floor. You plan to say it doesn’t really matter to you, but a thought crosses your mind.

“We can go to mine. I have condoms.” You’re not shy about using protection, know it’s just plain stupid not to, when you've been essentially searching for a new partner whose sexual and medical history you know little to nothing about, but telling Hotch makes your face heat a little. “I bought a variety pack—you know, when I started going on the dates.”

“Good. That’s good,” he says, nodding, and then he bends to kiss you, brushes his fingers over your jaw. “How are you feeling? Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. Good,” you clarify. You feel so much better than okay you barely know how to say it, but there is one thing you didn’t think to ask before. “Hey, are you… are you attracted to me?” You look him over curiously, and the elevator dings; you step forward to get off, walk down the hall, but Hotch puts his hand out to stop the door, which stops you.

“I’m attracted to you. You’re gorgeous, and ever since you mentioned on the jet that this was something you were looking forward to… I can’t deny I’ve thought about being the one you share it with. Are you attracted to me?” You wet your lips, ready to reply with an emphatic yes, but he must take it for hesitation. “I understand why you want to do this, but if you aren’t attracted to me—it’s important that you want this with me, not just that you want this. I don’t want us to do anything that will make you uncomfortable.”

His words make you lose a little of the nervousness you were still holding onto, and you decide to show, not tell, how you feel about him; you wrap your fingers in his shirt and guide him down for a kiss that is hotter than before, still soft and slow, but wet and deep, too. After a moment, the elevator dings—likely due to the door remaining open for so long—and you break apart, breathless, and exit the elevator to head down the hall to your room.

Your interaction isn’t exactly awkward at first, but a little stilted: you both take off your shoes, and you grab waters from the mini fridge, hand him one and take a long sip of the other. It’s almost as if you are delaying the inevitable, but it’s not because this isn’t something you want to do; if pressed, you’d say the idea of having this time with Hotch is actually something you want to savor, not rush into too quickly. You aren’t delaying, but prolonging, and eventually you have to snap yourself out of it and just enjoy what you have while you have it.

You cross the room, walk over to him, and put your hands on his stomach, look up at him with clear eyes. His fingers ghost over your bare arms, and for a moment you just share breath, a lingering stare, until you stretch up to meet him in the middle for a deep kiss.

Hotch moves his hands to your hair, tips your head up, and you wind your arms around his back, pulling him closer and stepping forward until his legs hit the foot of the bed. He is warm, broad, solid beneath your hands, and you push them up the back of his shirt, skim them over his skin.

“Can I take this off?” you breathe when you separate, and he nods, helps you work it over his head and drops it to the floor.

Your hands rest on his stomach again, glide up his chest, and when you kiss this time, he turns you so your back faces the bed, eases you onto it. He lays between your legs, kisses until you’re both panting with need, and when you lean your head back to catch your breath he moves his mouth to your neck, trails it slowly up, then down, softly bites at the base of your throat. You hum softly, clutch his shoulders, bring your knees up around his waist.

“God, I want you.” He pulls back, looks down at you, his chest heaving, and you nod, brush fingers through his hair. “I want you, Hotch. Please touch me.”

He begins with the slow drag of big, careful hands down the outsides of your thighs, over your hips, pushing your dress up around your waist. You can’t stop looking at his face, serious and handsome, even though the rest of him is perfect too; you like that he looks affected by this, like it means something to him as well, like you’re not alone in feeling a bit overwhelmed. He moves his hands to the soft insides of your thighs, squeezes them, then leans up on his knees so he can pull your panties off, sets them on the bed beside him.

“I’m just going to rub. Tell me if it’s too much, not enough.” He curls over you for a kiss and slides his fingers along your pussy, three of them, long and thick. You close your eyes immediately, because the first touch is so good, his fingertips gliding through your slick and spreading it over your lips and clit; you are both breathing heavily, mouths hovering over each other, and you clutch at his biceps while he rubs where you are soft and aching.

It’s not that it’s not enough—you could get off this way, easily, you’re halfway there already—but you want more, imagine yourself clamping down around his fingers, digging your nails into him when you come.

“Can you…” You trail off, bite your lip, and he smooths a palm over your cheek, your hair.

“Ask me. Tell me what you want, sweetheart. I want to give it to you.” A soft, needy noise leaves your throat, and he presses his lips to yours, slips the pads of two fingers over your clit, rubs circles against it. “Is it this? Is this what you want?” You wet your lips, think no but yes, move a hand to his face.

“Can you put your fingers inside me? I want to feel you inside.” Your voice trembles over it, not used to being so direct, not used to asking for what you want, and his answering kiss is deep, wet; he pulls back to look at your face as he presses one finger inside, and you feel your expression shift, from desperate to intensely pleasured, your mouth open, eyes wide. “Hotch, oh.” He pulls it out slowly, nearly all the way, and pushes it back in, rubs your cheek, brushes his thumb over your lips.

“That feels good, doesn’t it?” Good is an understatement, and you clench around him, slide your hands down his forearms, nod. “Good. It’s okay if you’re just quiet, but if you’re nervous about how you’ll sound, don’t be. I’d like to hear how you’re feeling.” Another reason to feel so good about this—because you are self-conscious of the way you’ll sound, and you should have known he would pick up on it, try to ease your insecurities. You wet your lips, nod, and he moves the finger slowly in and out, adds another when you ask him to.

“Mmm. Mmm.” You bring a hand to your covered breast, squeeze it, and he moves to push your dress up further, to bare it, maybe, but you tense, then instantly feel silly.

“What is it?” he asks gently, running his hand over your stomach instead, and your muscles relax, you sigh.

“Just a little self-conscious… about my breasts—especially after everything I saw downstairs,” you say, huffing a laugh, and he chuckles, nods.

“Miami is a bit much. But you’re so beautiful, sweetheart, just as you are, and it’s clear they bring you pleasure. If you’ll let me, I’d like to take your dress off all the way, touch them… kiss them.” The prospect sounds so tempting—your nipples are sensitive beneath your own hands, but under his? His mouth?

Your breathing picks up again, and you nod, rest your arms over your head so he can pull it up and off. You swallow, trembling and bare beneath him, and he steps off of the bed to push the rest of his clothes off, too; you know you feel vulnerable, so maybe he sensed it, wanted to make you more comfortable? Either way, he is gorgeous, and you’re so grateful to be doing this with him.

“Where are the condoms?” he asks, bending over the edge of the bed to kiss you with a hand on your cheek. You direct him to your bag, and he opens the box, takes out the one he needs, walks back to you; you lean up on your elbows to watch him intently as he tears the package open, rolls it onto his cock. When he climbs on top of you again, when he pushes your knees gently apart and makes himself at home between them, you shudder; you can feel his dick for the first time, hard against your thigh, and he leans in to kiss your throat, your shoulders, and eventually, your breasts.

His mouth covers one, his hand covers the other, and you gasp when his lips close around your nipple, suck softly. “Hotch, oh my god.” You lift your hips, looking for contact, and he removes the hand from your breast, uses it to line his cock up so it can slide over your pussy as you rock against him, wet, perfect pressure, as he pulls your breast more roughly into his mouth, nibbles it.

You arch your back, pushing your chest closer to him, and he moans, slowly glides his hands over your throat, into your hair. He shifts the angle of his hips, and he slips out from between you, making you sigh at the loss. Now that you’ve felt him, it’s maddening to be without, and you wet your lips, touch his face.

“I’m ready.” He leans in to kiss your cheeks, your chin, rubs his nose softly against yours, and you meet for a deep, slow, wet kiss.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Please.” You move your hands to his waist, guide him closer, and he pushes slowly inside, lets you get used to the stretch it brings. It just feels good, not really a new sensation, since you’ve put toys inside before, but he is so much thicker, more satisfying to feel along your sensitive channel, his body warm on top of yours.

“How does it feel?” he murmurs, lips grazing yours, and you curl your hand around the back of his neck, just kiss him, enjoy the fullness and the slide of his tongue.

“So good. You can move,” you say, and your voice sounds strained, but it’s with arousal, not discomfort. You hitch your knees up higher, put your hands on his arms, pull him in so he’ll know that. “Want to feel you, Hotch.” You share breath for a few moments, and then he pulls back and thrusts forward, repeats it a few times, slow and steady, looking into your eyes.

You moan, carefully roll your hips in time with his, and he pumps inside a little deeper, a little quicker. You grip his arms, move your hands to his face, unsure what part of him you want to touch, anchor yourself against. He leans down for a kiss and you press your fingers to his cheeks, kiss him more passionately, less timidly than you’ve been so far. He groans against your mouth, and you pant as your bodies work together; it’s almost instinctual, the need to take him deeper, to meet, thighs hard against each other.

“Are you okay?” he asks, sliding his hands over your sides, hips, and you nod, gasp when he shifts up, gets his mouth on your breast again, kisses it wetly while his cock glides inside. That’s enough to have you moaning, loudly, head back, your hands on his body now, to feel his muscles flex while he thrusts inside you.

“Hotch, oh. Feels so good, I—” He bites down, lightly, just the edge of his teeth, and your legs snap tight against his body, shaking while you come around him. “Oh, oh. Mmm.” Your muscles contract so hard he grunts, your pussy all but trapping him there, and he grinds against you, grips your thighs.

“So perfect. You feel so good coming for me, so tight.” You ride out the pleasure, rolling your hips against his, and when you’re a little looser he thrusts again, slides an arm behind yours, his hand carefully around the back of your neck, kisses you until he comes, groaning, in your ear.

You look up at him as he gathers himself, wets his lips, and you curl around him for a hug; he holds you tightly, rubs gentle palms over your body, murmurs that you’re incredible and he hopes you know that was special. It's the connection you were looking for, intimacy, and you are so incredibly happy you found it, even if you did find it in the unlikeliest of places.

You lay together for a few minutes before he pulls out, ties off the condom, takes it into the bathroom, and then you go in to pee. You look yourself over in the mirror—again, fully aware that losing your virginity changes almost nothing—but you can’t help feeling like a missing piece has locked into place.

If makes you wonder if the missing piece maybe wasn’t sex, but Hotch.

When you head back into the other room, you expect him to be dressed, or at least getting dressed, but he’s laying back on the bed, covers turned down, body still bare—what you can see of him is bare, anyway, because crisp white sheets cling to his waist, make him look only that much more delicious as he waits for you.

You suddenly ache with desire again, touch your chest at the rush of emotion, of sensation, and then you climb on the bed, slip into his lap, kiss him again. This time it’s different, because your lips and tongue are all saying what you can’t, and it’s intimate, passionate, vulnerable, intense.

Except, maybe you can say it, because he kisses back just as furiously, and it translates into something as strong as what you’re feeling, his hands on your face and lower back holding you close.

“I want you,” he whispers, looking into your eyes, and you’re panting hard, desperate for more. “Not just tonight—I want every night to feel like tonight. I know you weren’t planning for anything more than this, but if you like, maybe I could take you to dinner when we get back. We could see if there’s something more?” He looks nervous, like the offer won’t be well received, but you just nod, smile, lean close for a gentler brush of lips.

“I’d really like that. I don’t want to only feel like this tonight.”

You kiss a little more, softer, sweeter things, eventually moving from his lap to curl against his side; the two of you cuddle, talk—it’s not awkward in the slightest, just feels right, and you drift to sleep warm and content in his arms.

Maybe Miami’s not so bad after all.

Taglist ❤️: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed @averyhotchner @hotforhotchner11 @itsmytimetoodream

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x female reader #hotch x reader #ask answered #anon #prompt

738 notes · View notes

scarlettriot · 3 years ago

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Breaking Point - On Ice

Pairing: Hockey Player Eijiro Kirishima x F!Reader

Warnings: Minors DNI, Panic Attacks, Fatfobic Comments, Badgering, Swearing

Contains: Struggles with trauma in the form of panic attacks, fluffy moments thrown in though too! As the pairing suggests, Kiri is a hockey player, reader is also plus size.

Summary: When Kirishima finds out you've never tried ice skating he insists you come to the hockey team's fundraiser at the rink.

Word Count: 4,601

A/N: This is part three in the Breaking Point series. I did make a mistake in the posting of part 2, all main characters are at least sophomores in college, not juniors. Friendly reminder this is a quirkless AU. I hope you enjoy getting some more background here.

Other Parts:

Breaking Point - Part One - Locked Out

Breaking Point - Part Two - Intimacy

Breaking Point - Part ? - Do More (This is just out-of-order smut for the time being)

Eijiro lay on the floor of your bedroom, flat on his stomach, with a pen between his teeth. You were situated on your bed, back against the wall, while textbooks and notepads surrounded you when you heard a thump.

Eijiro's head now atop his own binder, the pages muffling his aggravation, "'M gonna fail!"

"You are not. Don't be so dramatic!"

Over the last month, you really had become friends with the red-headed giant who you'd let use your shower on a whim. Of course, it helped a little that he'd been childhood friends with your roommate and also happened to be the cousin of her boyfriend.

There was also the fact that you had four classes together. Eijiro excelled in your psychology classes, understood the material with ease! It was the core classes that were giving him trouble. English Lit and Calc specifically. Katsuki, his best friend with the shortest temper of anyone you'd ever met, had taken up tutoring him in calculus even if it was for mildly selfish reasons. If his grade slipped any lower, he stood a chance of being benched for the hockey season and Captain Katsuki wasn't standing a chance of their best goalie not being able to play.

That just left English Lit which, you took last semester, and remembered the material pretty well. Enough to help him study and get a decent grade at least. That didn't mean Eijiro liked it though, still struggled despite trying his damndest.

You cleared a path and leaned over the edge of the bed, "Gotta move your head, big guy. I don't have superpowers, can't see through it." Eijiro lifted his head, the page of his textbook clinging to his forehead. "It just wants you to write a synopsis of the last five chapters, 1K minimum. Why are you gonna fail?"

"'Cause for the life of me I can't stay focused on it!" He rolled onto his back. "Don't know how you can read so much and like it." His eyes scanned over the five shelves that made up one of the walls in your bedroom, each filled to the point you had to start stacking piles of books on the floor in front of them. "I think you need another shelf."

You pointed to the box in your closet, already way ahead of him. "It's taller than the others and heavy as hell. I'm just waiting for Suka to get time to help me."

"Hello! You coulda asked me!"

He had a point, you could have, it just hadn't crossed your mind.

"I've got this hockey thing tonight and then practice tomorrow but I could stop by after and help you put it together."

"Sure, thanks! I have- you know, never mind, just come by when it's done."

You were supposed to have a date, nothing series, just a meet-up off an app. Nothing you couldn't reschedule or just cancel if you had to. They wanted you to come to their birthday celebration at a bar anyways... it certainly didn't feel very date-like.

"Great!"

"But, you know you actually have to finish this paper..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Gotta reread the chapters first though and hopefully remember enough of it." He started gathering his things, "I'll try again after this thing tonight. Unless you feel like coming to this fundraiser thing tonight with me and we can keep studying there."

You thanked him but, "I can't skate anyways, I don't think adding studying to the mix would be safe."

Eijiro dropped his books, "You what?"

"Yeah, I can't skate."

"You've always just said you didn't wanna go on open skate nights with us! How've I been friends with you this long and not known you couldn't skate!"

You shrugged, "I dunno. Not like it really comes up..."

"Please come tonight." His elbows rested on the edge of your bed, big eyes pleading with you.

"Why? So you can watch as I fall on my ass?"

"I mean, you probably will but who hasn't! I fall so much! Plus, you can be entertained by Kami singing terrible karaoke!"

You did like watching Denki's performances... "What if I just show up at the rink and not skate? I'll be happy to come and show my support!"

His eyebrows dropped. "You've gotta try it. Please, Y/N. If you hate it, I'll drop it forever."

"Fine. Only if you promise you'll read two chapters when you get home AND text me about them so you can remember what you read. Do we have a deal?"

He gave a rather indignant sigh but finally accepted your terms.

You agreed to meet at the rink around 8, giving you enough time to make a pit stop at the library before going. Eijiro made a point to remind you to wear something warm but that you could still move easily in, and thick socks. That was a very important point he was driving home.

A part of you wished Itsuka was going, wanting the comfort of your best friend around but you knew she had to check in on her brother back home as well as her grandfather. The nursing home made things easier in some ways and yet harder in so many others.

So, you grabbed something to eat, threw on a hoodie and a thicker pair of black leggings, and dug out a pair of black cotton gloves just in case, stuffing them into your bag for now, and proceeded to lock up for the evening.

>>><<<

The library was on the way to the ice complex. A massive ten-story tall building with an art gallery taking up two of the floors. You loved this place. Becoming very acquainted with its walls during your freshman year. The only place quiet enough for you to study.

You nodded at the woman on duty at the circulation desk. Showing you the school idea even though she knew who you were and headed right for the elevators to take you up to the sixth floor, straight to the section that contained books of philosophical fiction.

At home, on your second bookshelf from the right to be exact, you had your own copy of The Picture of Dorian Grey but, Eijiro's class was reading the version that consisted of twenty chapters rather than your book's thirteen. You scanned the shelf and were in luck, plucking the book and heading right back to the elevator.

"Are you taking English Lit over again?"

It always amazed you the way the woman at the desk remembered faces. Hundreds of people had to come through this library on a daily basis and yet she could recall names and classes with seemingly no effort at all.

"No, not exactly, a friend of mine is though and he's struggling a bit. Just wanna freshen upon it."

"What a good person you are! Your friend better consider himself a lucky man." She scanned the book, reminded you of the three you still had checked out, and bid you a good weekend.

>>><<<

For a fundraising event, there weren't too many people present at the ice complex, even the overall team's members seemed to be lacking. Not that the school had that big of a hockey team to begin with. Itsuka told you how it started off as a club just last year with only six members, just enough to form a team. At least now their numbers had tripled.

You could hear music pouring out of the rink as well as chatter and laughter.

You pushed open the door happy to see some familiar faces. "Hey! Y/N!" Hanta waved from the concession stand balancing a basket of nachos and a pretzel in his hand, "Ha. Thanks." taking the basket and cup of cheese from him.

"Kiri said you'd be stopping by."

"It's sort of just a way of getting him to actually do his literary homework."

The man laughed, "Yeah. He's been trying to tackle that book. Kami threw a shoe at him the other day for walking around narrating it at one in the morning."

So, he did try reading to himself. It was good to know he was at least trying to take your advice.

Someone slammed into the rink's wall making you jolt, a nervous chirp escaping you in the process before you heard the low laugh of the team captain. "Show'd up, huh, Squeaks? Go talk to Headphones and get a pair of skates. Heard you've never been on the ice, time we fix that."

You'd only had a moment to wonder why it was Katsuki telling you to get skates rather than Eijiro because as soon as you looked at the explosive captain you spotted the redhead over his shoulder, skating backward, and holding the hands of a little girl bundled in a jacket as puffy and pink as her older sisters hair. The little girl couldn't have been related to anyone other than Mina Ashido.

"Come on, I'll show ya."

Hanta led the way around the concession counter and to a small window where Kyoka was sitting, busy fiddling with buttons on a soundboard. She smiled, seeing the two of you at the window and pulling back her headphones so she could hear when you told her your size.

The fee wasn't a lot and you were happy to pay it since half was going to the team.

"Can I help ya? That's way too loose." Hanta commented on your laces.

"This is how I normally tie my shoes."

"That might be but these have to be tight to give you the support you need. Plus, you don't want them coming undone on the ice, that's just a pain in the ass."

He bent down in front of you, tugging and pulling until the top of the boot was snug and asking you if it was too tight before tying it off and moving to the next one. He held out his hands, pulling you up onto your feet. "Walkings gonna feel a little weird, so, take your time."

You took a cautious step, balancing on the thin blade. "Feels like I'm walking on a tight rope."

"It's going to for a little while but you'll get used to it." He led you around the wall of the rink, letting you get a feel for them, checking again how they felt on your feet.

"Hey!" A whirl of pink hair zipped by you, Mina, spinning around perfectly on the ice and joining you both by the wall. "Whatcha waiting for? Get her out here Hanta!"

"Whenever you're ready."

If you hate it, I'll drop it forever.

You just had to try it once, one lap. "I'm gonna fall."

"That's a part of it though, babe." Mina grinned and glided back to the rink entrance. "Everyone here has fallen." She held out her hand while you carefully placed one foot on the ice. "I'm gonna hold this hand, grab the wall with your other. Hanta will be right behind you, okay?"

Everything wobbled the moment both feet were on the ice, knees locking just to try and stay upright. "Whoa, don't do that. Keep them bent just a little." Hanta corrected, "Locking your knees is a sure-fire way to fall."

Mina pulled you along, neither foot lifting off the ice, while your heart was firmly lodged in your throat. "You're doing just fine, see!" You really weren't doing anything but her praise was still nice.

"Mina!" You almost slipped, trying to follow the voice, but Hanta caught your elbow and guided both your hands to the wall. Jiro was standing at the entrance, waving a box over her head.

"Crap," Mina muttered. "I forgot to set something up with the sound system to get the karaoke going. Hanta, can you help me real fast, you're taller."

"Wha, what about me?"

"We will be right back. Promise! Not even taking our skates off!" They were gone before you could say anything else... damn it.

You stared at the far side of the rink, you'd gone exactly halfway around. One lap. You just had to go one lap. Your fingers gripped the edge of the wall, muttering to yourself, hating how unstable you felt when your feet started to move, oh no no no...

Willing them to stop moving wasn't working. Quickly, you pulled against the wall but you were getting away from it, "Come on, stop stop, please." You muttered but your feet weren't listening.

A hand slipped behind your waist. "You really shouldn't panic. All you have to do is point your toe down into the ice. 'Surprised someone didn't tell you that."

You had no idea who the man beside you was. Tall and slender with blonde hair falling in front of blue eyes. "You really have no idea what you're doing out here, do you? Poor thing."

"I'm, well, I'm just waiting for-"

"Not a problem, I'd be happy to help you back where you'll be more comfortable."

"Back off, Monoma." Someone's warm hand was tight on your shoulder, that gruff voice at your back. "She's fine."

"Take it easy, Bakugo, I wasn't doing anything. She just looked uneasy, that's all."

"Yeah, right. Why are you even here?"

"Supporting my dear brother, though I haven't seen him around."

"Kaminari's got class 'til 8." You turned, Eijiro skidding to a stop at your side, the little girl up in his arms.

"You'd think you'd know that about your, dear brother." Katsuki spat.

Katsuki pulled you back against him, slipping slightly but you were more than safe in his grasp. "Ah, that's right. Must have slipped my mind. Well, you seem in capable hands, enjoy your evening. I'll make sure to leave a donation to your little club before I go."

"Don't want any of your damn money."

"Hehe. Eiji said a bad word! Imma tell Mina!"

The two weren't distracted by the bundle of giggles in his arms. "Kats, can you take Hana back to Mina, please?"

Hana pouted, lip sticking out while she whined, "No, wanna stay with you, Eiji, please?"

Katsuki took the little girl. "You'll have your boyfriend back in a little bit, Squirt."

"So, Denki has a brother?"

"Step." Eijiro clarified, his arm casually slipping around you making sure you didn't lose your balance. "Like, we've never really found anything wrong with the guy. He's a year older than us, has money thanks to his mother, and likes to toss it around, he's just always rubbed us the wrong way. Little comments here or there about Denki but nothing to warrant us actually getting mad at him."

"Katsuki seemed pretty mad."

"That's just his default setting though." Eijiro sighed, shaking his head, before settling on a grin, "Anyway, "m happy you came. Sorry, I couldn't help you right away."

"That's alright. You were skating with a cutie. I can't blame you for that."

"I dunno why Hana latches onto me, but she has since she was a baby. We were fifteen when she was born and Mina loved babysitting so we all got used to her being around. But, I guess being Mina's neighbor meant I was around a little more than most."

"That's actually pretty cute."

He chuckled. "You're pretty good at this, by the way."

You hadn't even realized it. Eijiro had pulled you from the wall and you'd been skating at his side this whole time. Granted, he was doing most of the work but still! "Hey, don't tense up on me now!" He spun and took your hands in his, just like he'd been skating with Hana. "I've got ya. Just try moving your feet. Push against me."

With speed, something actually felt a bit familiar to you. You hadn't rollerbladed in years but you pushed off exactly like you used to. The toe pick Monoma had mentioned snagging a bit of the ice but Eijiro kept you stable with a smile, cheering you on and into your second lap around the ice.

He watched you, then your feet, his brows slowly coming together. "What? What am I doing wrong?"

"No, nothing like that but, you sorta skate like a hockey player. See, look at Mirio over there watch how he moves compared to his boyfriend who's a figure skater." He directed you to the blonde and his blue-haired boyfriend and there was something different about them. Mirio was moving about, turning quickly, chattering around Tamaki who pivoted when needed, favoriting long turns. "I think you should try a pair of hockey skates."

"Next time, Eijiro, okay?"

It was impossible to miss the way his face lit up. "Next time? You wanna do this again?"

"Yeah, yeah, this isn't so bad, actually. Just don't leave me stranded, 'kay?"

"Not a chance."

He continued to guide you around the rink so many times you'd lost count, bracing to catch you each time you stumbled. "I think you should try going backwards."

"Eijiro, no," A devilish grin spread across his face, "No, no, you can't. I can't!"

"Oh yes, you can!"

"No! Don't do it!"

You felt his hands shift, "Hang on tight."

He whipped you around. "Move your feet just a little," He pushed you along, "Yeah! Hell yeah! You got it!"

Despite wobbly knees, you woke muscles you hadn't used in ages from when you roller skated, gliding your feet the only way you knew how and praying it worked. And it did... for about twelve seconds.

A groove in the ice made you stumble backward, letting go of Eijiro as your arms flailed, doing your best windmill impression. You didn't hit the ice though. Eijiro was too quick to let that happen. He'd grabbed your waist and spun you around again. You still fell but onto his chest instead, his back smacking against the ice.

"Shit! Kiri! I'm so-"

His laughing cut you off, did he hit his head!? "You did great!"

"Gr-great? You think I did great!? Eijiro! What the hell is wrong with you!" You barely even felt the bite of the cold ice below your bare hands as you stared down at him waiting to see dark red blood trickling from behind his head, indicating some trauma.

"'Nothing! And you did! Better than me first time I tried anyways!"

"Don't break my damn goalie, Squeaks! I need 'em!"

"Or do!" You looked up to see Denki zipping by, a mic in his hands, "A broken Kiri means I might actually get some ice time!" The blonde wore a large smile, laughing in good fun before yelling at Kyoka to drop the screen for karaoke to begin.

"Are you alright?" Eijiro made sure to ask when you scooted off of him.

When you assure him you were, he hoisted you back up on your feet, slipping up only twice before regaining your balance just as Denki began singing Sweet Caroline.

You stayed out far later than you expected. Ended up walking back to the apartments with Eijiro, Hanta, Mina, and Denki. Hugging them each good night before slipping into the quiet of your apartment.

>>><<<

The next morning, you woke up late. The copy of Dorian Gray from the library lay open across your chest and the voice recorder was dangerously close to the edge of your bed. A quick playback told you you'd made it halfway through chapter eight before falling asleep. Decent progress.

Itsuka wasn't home, you noticed that on your way back from the bathroom. Her bed was still made and when you checked your phone, sure enough, there was the text telling you she was crashing at Tetsu's place. Honestly, you didn't even know why she bothered renting this place with you when she was never here.

That was a lie, you did know. It was out of kindness. Because she was a good person and knew you couldn't afford the rent on your savings alone. Hell, next year you were going to have to get a job along with classes just to stay in the apartment.

You also knew it was her way of looking after you. Itsuka would never outright say it but you knew she never looked at you the same after what happened your senior year of high school, and you couldn't really blame her. In fact, you were thankful in a way. Out of everyone you tried pushing away, Itsuka was the one who refused to let you slip through the cracks. Not only that, she pulled you back on your feet too. Literally filled out your college application when you felt like you didn't even deserve to go.

Itsuka Kendo was too damn good for this world and now she was dealing with her dying grandfather and trying to support her younger brother, needing to get him through just one more year of school. You wanted to go back with her on her visits, you felt like you owed her that after all she'd done for you but just the thought of driving through your old town terrified you and thankfully, she knew that.

Still, you were going to think of some way to help her. Something you could do. You added it to your list:

Currently, you just had to cancel your "date", finish chapter eight of Dorian Grey, and then download the audio files before Eijiro's practice ended in two hours.

Canceling the date was task one. Wanting to give as much notice as possible, already feeling a little guilty for forgetting to do it yesterday, you opened the app, reading a few of the messages they'd sent while you'd been away. You'd seen a few come in while you were at the rink but were honestly having too good of a time to want to respond.

Them: Gonna be a great party. Tons of drinks to go around.

You were still underaged but that meant little to a lot of college students. Besides that, you probably should have mentioned that you wouldn't be drinking even if you legally could.

Them: Your pictures look so hot! Bet those curves look even better in person ;)

Them: This is gonna be an awesome birthday. I know the present you're gonna give me is gonna be the best.

They could have just said they wanted to fuck you and it would have been quicker.

You: I'm really sorry but something's come up and I'm not going to be making it tonight. Hope you have a great party though.

Leaving your phone tossed on your bed forgotten, you moved on to task number two: the book.

It only took you ten or so minutes to finish the chapter. The files themselves took a while to upload to your computer, giving you enough time to throw together a bit of breakfast and take a shower in the meantime. Once they were all neat and orderly, you pulled a flash drive from the clutter on your desk, wiped it, and then started the download process. It was all rather robotic at this point.

Tugging on a hoodie and jeans, you intended on cleaning up your room a bit. Making sure you and Eijiro would have plenty of room for building. First was your rug, pushing it out of the way leaving only the wooden floor below, a nice even surface. You'd rolled it up, setting it in the corner of your room when you noticed your notifications flashing.

The dating app. They'd responded right after your message and you simply missed it... and the messages didn't stop coming through.

Them: Not gonna make it? Why?

Them: You mean like at all? Aw, come on baby? Don't leave me high and dry on my birthday.

Three minutes after,

Them: At least stop by my place later and gimme my present.

Them: That fat ass will do.

You sank to the floor of your room, back pressed against your bed, reading the messages that got progressively worse.

Them: Not gonna fuckin' answer now? Sick of damn teases like you.

Them: All you guys are good for is a quick fuck anyways.

Them: C'mon! I was even nice to you! Bet that doesn't happen often! Not with the way you look!

Them: Why can't you just gimme what I want?

It's all your good for... I was nice to you... gimme what I want...

Your chest felt tight as the phrases played over and over again. It crept up on you at the worst times, from the most damn things...

Just listen. Just do what they ask. Everything will be okay if you just listen.

Just listen, just do what they ask, everything will be okay. Just listen, just do what they ask, everything would be okay...

The way your brain twisted facts and bent reality, making it into nonsense that only seemed right within your mind. Your fingers pressed into your scalp, desperate to quiet the mess.

Everything will be okay, it'll be okay, it'll be okay, she'd be okay- in your hand, your phone began to vibrate.

Through blurry eyes, you made out the bright red hair of Kirishima's caller ID photo. You made sure to clear your throat before answering, steadying your voice.

"Hey, Kiri, what's up?"

"Hey, are you home?"

"Yeah. Been here all morning."

"Well, I've been knocking on your door for the last ten minutes. Can ya come lemme in?"

Ten minutes? Shit. You hadn't heard a thing. "Yeah! Sorry, I had my headphones on."

You could only pray your eyes weren't too red as you quickly wiped away any tears that may have spilled before answering the door. "Heya!" But his bright smile faltered. "You alright?"

"Totally!" Lying had become so easy now. You barely had to think about it, "This is gonna sound dumb but I stubbed my toe on my bed. Don't laugh! It really hurt!"

"Oh... Yeah, I've done that a couple times myself. It's okay though, right, no blood?"

"No, I'll be just fine."

>>><<<

Eijiro let you lead him into your home, carefully watching your back because he knew you were hiding something. He'd meant to take a shower before coming over but he heard your muttering coming through your open bedroom window. It wasn't like he was listening in but he'd heard your words nonetheless, heard you repeat them over and over. He knocked, banged on your front door with his fist actually, and got no response. Just the same words over and over.

He'd tried looking in your window, just wanting to know if you were okay but your curtains and the blind kept you hidden from view, kept your whole room private which, any other time, would have been great! He didn't want to scare you by calling through the window to you, didn't know if that'd be better or worse.

That's why he pulled out his phone and called you. Thrilled that apparently, that was enough to bring you out of whatever panic you were in.

He wished you'd talk to him, tell him whatever the fuck that was about, how long you'd been in a panic, but it was clear you weren't going to. He saw you flinch though when you looked at your phone, caught a glimpse at the screen, a dating app?

The same contact kept popping up but you just ignored it. "Do you wanna get that?"

"No. It's fine. Nothing important."

Sure seemed important. Or eager? He wasn't sure but it bothered you.

And, if you weren't going to talk to him about it, he was going to do the next best thing he could think of: distract you. "So, where's that bookshelf?"

#mha #mha reader #mha x y/n #bnha #kirishima x reader #kirishima x y/n #eijiro kirishima #kirishima smut #kirishima fluff

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r0-boat · 3 years ago

Note

Don’t ask me shit I know not a damn thing

Older man Ingo who’s lonely, not longer in his prime he feels as though he missed out on his chance to have a love and a family that he always desperately wanted and craved, he tries every reasonable thing he can think of, dating apps, but they always want to move so quickly, sugar babies but he felt so wrong and so used even thinking about it.

Desperate for anything he summons a demon…or well tries, first timers am I right? While he meant to summon a demon to make a deal with to have a human bride he summons you, a demisexual succubus, tragic profession that had been forced upon you.

You don’t think he noticed as he respectfully pleads his case.

“Sir, I am a succubus, but I can make deals, just not ones you’re looking for, how about I do us both a favor, I accept your deal, I’ll be your bride.”

The man narrows his eyes “and what’s the catch? Don’t demons always have a catch?”

“All I want is to, if this is all you ask for, stay with you, my higher ups will see this as me taking on a job and I will no longer be summoned by anyone other than you, I will be at your beck and call.”

He barely hesitated to this agreement, your pointed tail gentle sways happily as you both seal the contract with a shake.

Old man Ingo who is awkwardly sweet at the start, trying to be as romantic as possible, you figured you’d humor him, being just as sweet back though it didn’t take much for fluster him, he mostly just wants to go on dates or cuddle and watch tv, dinner is made together, he enjoys learning about you and your circle of hell.

A year into this contract you noticed a shift, his scent becoming musky more heady, how he looks at you when he thinks you aren’t aware, you expressed to him how you particularly work outside of your succubus nature, but the scent just reminds you of how hungry you are, you haven’t eaten in years, only feeding off small amounts to get by so you don’t have to do what you don’t want, and his scent..there is just something different about it.

So imagine your silver fox’s surprise when he comes home, expecting his usual hug and kiss, only to get something much more heated, your eyes glowing, tail twitching, and the wings on your lower back constantly shifting, those were the only details he can get before your tongue is down his throat, moaning and grinding against him, pulling back for a gasp of air.

“N-not that this isn’t nice, but what’s going on.”

You hate to admit it, but you fell in love, being around him constantly every minute of the day aside from his work made it so hard to resist.

“You scent is so good, I can’t wait to milk you dry.”

You laugh as he chokes on his own saliva, purring you transport you both to the shared bed, you were fully ready and prepared for taking this man and riding him til he melts.

You still don’t remember how he has you laying on your side, one leg up and over his shoulder, the other around his hips as he plows into you, constantly hitting your sweet spot.

“Gonna cum! You’re gonna make me cum!” You cry, it’s so good! Until he moves his hand to play with your clit, rubbing it in quick circles.

“Fuck! T-too much! I’m-I’m gonna make a mess! Ingo!” Your back arches while you grip the sheets, body twitching as you gush around him.

“Fuuuck you feel so good, c’mon one more, give me one more.” Ingo is completely drunk of your sound and expressions, and with how you clench around him he doesn’t know how he’s gonna last long, but he won’t stop, this sweet succubus of his is going to be fed if he has anything to say about it.

Fuccck fuckbn I have no words only feelings

��😳🥰😚👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🤗🤗😍🤩

#ro.chatting #smut #ingo.thirst

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sohoharlem · 3 years ago

Text

Join me a week from today!

This break is something I do every once in a while, a norm for me as someone who is aware of the toxicity of too much social media, and the reason is not subject to anything specific. This is an encouragement post for those who want to join, but also for those who have never considered doing this or feel it might be not for them. Reconsider it, if possible. My 2021-2022 social medial break will take place on the dates below. Anyone who wants to take one with me, feel free to participate. Posting this a week early to give those of you time to prepare and also maybe consider if it’s something you feel you should do. For anyone who’s never done it before, I recommend you to at least try it once to see how it feels. I’ve done a cleanse similar to this before in the past, except that it lasted 6 months instead of just 36 days. For first timers: It will be hard at first, but it is possible to do, and it will leave you feeling amazing. I promise you. You could become happier, healthier, and more productive. You might also find yourself becoming less emotionally driven in your fandom which will benefit you greatly in the long run.

Social Media break duration: Dec 13th - Jan 17th DUE TO POSITIVE PERSONAL RESULTS FROM MY BREAK WHICH I’VE DECIDED I’D LIKE TO MAINTAIN FOR A WHILE LONGER, THE BREAK HAS TEMPORARILY BEEN EXTENDED TO FEBRUARY.

Below I’ve included, for those of you who would like to participate, what exactly I’ll be doing for the next few weeks. I’ve also included some great YouTube videos and book recommendations on why sometimes a break or detox like this is important.

What my break will consist of:

• Logging out of Tumblr and not logging in for 36 days.

• Turning off notifications for a majority of my social apps, especially Instagram.

• I will only be going on Instagram twice a day for 1 minute each time for the first two weeks, then I will try to cut it out entirely. I will then delete the app and not go on until the 17th.

• I will not look at phone during work hours unless work or emergency related. I will keep it on a table or a distance away from me.

• If I feel like reading on my phone, I will read anything aside from fanfiction.

• I can use my phone for music.

• I will focus more on my mental, spiritual, and physical health. (Spiritual = Optional)

• I will try to lower my phone usage by 90%.

• Build a healthier daily routine that does not involve me holding onto my phone for/during social interaction or always looking down at my phone.

• Go to sleep every night at 9PM.

Tips for those of you who would like to participate with me but find that the above might be difficult for you:

If you have a hard time trying to stay off Tumblr, try taking control by minimizing your minutes you spend on it by day or amounts you open it per day until your usage gets lower and lower. You can also just log out of your account and visit your favorite blogs once or twice a day to see updates the first two weeks, but try to cut it down as much as you can. If you can cut it out entirely until the 17th, a win.

If you find trouble staying away from gossip sites or blogs because you feel the itch to know what is always happening, think about how it actually applies to your own life. Chances are, it doesn’t affect it. It’s also a cool tip to remind yourself that if you’re constantly looking to find out if something happened, chances are it’s not happening every two minutes. Try to check twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. Chances are you did not miss much. Again, eventually try to cut it down so much you don’t look at all. It will be hard, but eventually will become easier. Think about things that actually apply to your life and think about how you could be using that time to do something for you.

• If you are having trouble staying off on Instagram and do not think you can cut it out entirely, try this: Turn off your notifications and try using it just 10 minutes a day. Then, 5 minutes a day. Cut it to twice a day, 2 minutes each. Try to then delete it entirely. It’s a common and normal occurrence for people who do this to find themselves deleting and reinstalling the app a few times a day. Eventually, you won’t find the need or itch to keep installing it anymore if this does happen to you. Try to not go on for at least the last two weeks of your break.

• Distract yourself from your phone by focusing on work, on errands (what you need to get done), your friends, and your family. Remember that texting and phone calls/FaceTime are allowed. You aren’t isolating yourself.

• If you find yourself needing something to do and you don’t remember what you did before social media during down time, try watching your favorite movies or tv shows. Binging is always a nice distraction. Don’t let your fingers itch for your phone. That’s what it wants.

• If you are having trouble setting up a healthy sleeping schedule because you can’t fall asleep, try leaving your phone on your nightstand or anywhere far from you before bed. Set up on your phone so that it changes from blue light to orange at a certain part of the day. Blue light affects your sleep cycle.

• (cont.) Try not to feed into things on your phone that might keep you up longer than you plan - book, YouTube videos, a news article, a late night text from your boyfriend, etc. Take appropriate melatonin gummies 30 minutes before, if you can, and are not allergic etc. Try not to look at your phone first thing in the morning when you wake up. Instead, make your bed, brush your teeth, and continue with your normal routine.

This is optional, but I found some great videos on YouTube for you guys to remind you while a social media break/detox might be something you might need. I’ve organized them by category. I would definitely recommend you giving them a watch if you are considering taking this break with me. They might even motivate you if you weren’t considering it.

Reminder on how Social Media affects us:

https://youtu.be/e2Tq2gvGt80

Things on Social Media are often fake and an illusion:

https://youtu.be/0EFHbruKEmw

Is Social Media taking control of your life?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GXdVPLj_pIk&feature=youtu.be

Results of taking a Social Media break/detox in your life:

https://youtu.be/yceVW-0uLsg

How to quit/distance from Social Media:

https://youtu.be/ACCtKj2uz1g

How quitting boosts our productivity in life (getting more done, using time more wisely, etc):

https://youtu.be/bV_NdUZEmnE

Fandom related - Dangers of Parasocial Relationships (Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other's existence. Parasocial relationships are most common with celebrities, organizations (such as sports teams) or television stars. - Google definition)

https://youtu.be/22yoaiLYb7M

https://youtu.be/Q4qBgi4l5Ss (this one is more of a podcast)

Is it too far?

https://youtu.be/LsD9NBVtdmU

Reminders that things on social media should not take a hold of you and take away your focus from what actually affects you and matters to you in your life

Practice self love

https://youtu.be/ZsTKyYOuK84

What is Anxiety and how to stop it

https://youtu.be/wvsAaZwzr6

How to stop overthinking/anxiety

https://youtu.be/Gz29PF-3SAA

Good books/audiobooks for feeling better about yourself and also more on anxiety and how to stop overthinking (two of my faves that I’ve read or listened to):

Hardcore self help: F- - -k anxiety by Robert Duff

Bitch don’t kill my vibe by Reese Owen

Something that I truly recommend everyone to watch is The Social Dilemma on Netflix.

Good alternatives for fanficiton instead of Tumblr/AO3/FF.net:

https://www.goodreads.com

https://likewise.com/books

I can’t wait to take this much needed break and I’m looking forward to some of you taking it with me!

My inbox will remain OPEN during that time.

- SH

#social media #Social media detox #self love #self care #fandom #fandoms

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years ago

Text

What happened on Valentines day?

▸ Mark x female!reader ▸ 1,685k words ▸ Smut, Fluff ▸ Met on a dating app, one night stand, unprotected sex, mentions of rough sex, mentions of bruises, biting, Mark bites you ▸ Requested. I’m not taking requests but here it is. Also uploaded this using my phone so theres no read more for now and next button hehe

For Valentine's day, you scored a hookup on this dating app that you used for the first time. To earn your trust, he invited you to his apartment instead of going to cheap hotels and to save yourselves from the hassle.

 Good boy, innocent, and shy. These are your impressions to Mark that changed immediately the moment after he openned your legs.

 The innocent-looking guy turned out to be incredibly good in bed and he definitely knew how to fuck. He was rough, gentle, fun, and sweet all in one night, asking you if you want another round whenever you’re calm and ready to go again.

 In other words, your Valentine’s day turned out fine because of Mark.

 Days after Valentine’s day, he texted you for the first time again and asked if you’re free to come over. Of course, you said yes. Why would you turn down a good fuck right?

 And that's how you and Mark turned out to be loyal fuck buddies. The sex was so good that you remained fuck buddies for almost a year now. It wasn’t decided or anything, no negotiations, no requests. It just simply happened.

 Mark is a decent person even though it’s all about sex between you two. You’re not friends, not even close to being friends because friends know important things about each other while Mark only knows your name, cellphone number, and your good spot whenever you have sex or he eats you out.

 You on the other hand only knew him through the things that he shows to you. What you see is what you get.

 He doesn’t like kissing on the lips but he sure does know how to kiss your body. And with that, you think that Mark is scared to love or he’s easy to fall for someone and he’s just protecting himself.

 “Sorry if I bit your shoulders. I was trying so hard not to kiss you-“ he says with ragged breaths after a good round.

 He may be rough on you in bed sometimes that you go home with a lot of red marks, or your body became very sore for days and you couldn’t walk properly, but he’s nice enough to take care of you, ask if something is hurting, then get you a glass of water afterward. There’s no doubt that Mark is a gentleman.

 He is low maintenance and doesn’t have any funny business up in his sleeve. He’s not clingy and not into cuddling, he doesn’t invite you to go out with him and watch movies or have coffee. Again, it’s all about sex and sex only.

 Mark may be cold and boring like that, but sometimes he can be sweet without even trying. Like that one time when he bit you too much during sex, and he was fucking you so hard that you thought you were going to break, he asked you to stay over so he could take care of you.

 “Everything okay? Was the water warm or too cold? Are you all covered now? I’ll come in with your clothes” He was talking about the bath that he prepared for you, and for someone who has seen you naked a hundred times already he still cares if you’re now covered or not.

 “Y-yeah come in”

 “Here, these should fit you perfectly” he placed the clothes near the sink and went behind you. “Let me see?” He said, asking to take a look at the bruises he caused, whispering sweet and soft apologies that felt like kisses on your skin but they were words.

 On the next day, you caught yourself using Mark’s arm as your pillow and caught his hands around your waist, keeping your back close against his chest. Cuddling while sleeping, that’s the perfect term.

 And when you feel him wake up against you, you pretend to be asleep and feel him remove his arms and replace them with a pillow. And before he gets up from bed, he put a blanket on you just to be sure you’re not cold.

 The very reason why you continue to fuck Mark and not look for a boyfriend instead is maybe everything he does for you is exactly what you want and need from a guy. And that maybe you’ll stop seeing him if you develop feelings for him already.

 Now your problem is... you don’t know if you already have feelings for him or you’re denying it.

 On your second Valentine’s together, he texted you an address of a fancy hotel together with a room number.

 “What’s this all about? Mark Lee, making me feel special on Valentine’s hmm?” You teased him and gave him your stuff.

 “I won it from our office raffle, thought we should use it today” he explains and gave you the tour before you eat dinner together.

 After having a hot shower and drying your hair before you join Mark to bed, you caught him doing some work-related stuff without a shirt and just wearing his pajama. You always see him naked but this is the first time that you actually admired his body.

 When he saw you standing beside the bed, he put away his laptop and invited you to sit on his lap.

 He was quiet for a moment, just staring blankly in front of you while caressing your legs slowly. You wanted to ask what’s wrong, but your relationship with him is not exactly the caring type so you waited for him instead.

 “How’s your day?” He asked. That’s new you thought.

 “Fine” you answered shortly and started to undo your robe and get naked, “What time do we finish tonight?” you added and started kissing his chest.

 “Stay for the night, I don’t want to stay in this place alone,” he says and started kissing your boobs. Emphasis on the kissing because normally he sucks your nipples until it's swollen and hard.

 He came closer to you, kissing the valley between your boobs and pushing you more towards him, then you noticed his kisses were slowly going up and you thought he will stop on your neck but he didn’t. He went for your lips and kiss you softly.

 Finally admitting his feelings for you.

 “Tell me what’s wrong? I feel like I’m with a totally different Mark tonight, why?” you asked, not hiding your frustrations. He’s still not answering your question. “It’s like we’re breaking all our rules tonight and you’re not telling me why. I’m not mad, please just tell me what’s on your mind, or I will go home”

 “N-no” he suddenly grips your waist but not too tight, just enough to tell you he doesn’t want you to go. “We never had rules, just the kissing. I just didn’t want to hurt you tonight and...” he clears his throat before continuing, “I’m starting to have feelings for you. I was planning to confess after we have sex to make the moment sweeter but you just have to ruin it” he chuckled and came closer to your face and boldly kissed your lips again.

A peck that’s so sweet and meaningful for you.

 “Now will you let me fuck you now? And kiss you the whole night?” he said and effortlessly switched your bodies, putting him on top of you and swiftly removing his pajama and boxers briefs. Pumping his cock immediately and pushing two fingers in your cunt to make you wet.

 He kisses you while pushing in, something very new for both of you, and kept kissing for a few more minutes while he’s still inside you.

 When he finally rolled his hips, you feel like having sex with him for the first time but this time the sex is 10x better because of his lips. Bodies to bodies, lips to lips while he fucks you slow and good that even Mark didn’t expect that he will love fucking you slow.

 Together, you hit your highs at the same time while you kiss deeper than earlier while catching each other’s breath.

 He pulled out and lie beside you, keeping you close to his body while your hands are intertwined. This is the first time that he cuddled with you after sex and gosh you want to savor the feeling but your lids are giving up on you.

 The next thing you know, you caught yourself again, cuddling while sleeping with Mark, and tried to pull away from his tight embrace. Old habits.

 “Stay,” he says, eyes still closed but he kept you closer to him. “Sleep again,” he added and kissed your forehead. Slightly reminding you of the sudden confession last night.

 On the second time you woke up, Mark is not beside you but pretty flowers on the bedside table greeted you with a small note, ‘last night wasn’t a dream. please get up, I miss you already’ and it instantly made you smile.

 After your second Valentine’s day together, Mark courted you properly but you soon made it official because you realized you wasted enough time. And with a few months of dating, your relationship with Mark evolved into something real because you’re now officially dating and finally living together in a new apartment. And even more intimate in a whole new level that you don’t have sex too much now.

 “How’s work?” He asked, eyes still closed as you flop in between his legs and lie on his chest. When you didn’t answer him, he knew already that you had an exhausting day. You feel him wrap his arms around your body, a simple gesture from your boyfriend that says, ‘it’s okay, you’re home and you’re in my arms now’.

 “How about you?” You asked in return, he just let out a heavy sigh and you knew already that his day was exhausting too. So you did your part and kiss him on the lips softly and long enough to take his tiredness away.

 “I love you. Thank you” he said and kissed you one last time before he turns off the lampshade. “Good night, I’ll love you again tomorrow” he whispers.

#nct-writers #kpopscape #neowritingsnet #kwritersworldnet #neosmutcollective #kdiner #cznnet #nct smut #mark lee smut #nct x reader #mark lee x reader #mark lee fluff #nct fluff #nct mark lee x reader

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tender-rosiey · 4 years ago

Note

Hi! I hope you're doing fine and taking care of yourself. If it's okay with you, can you do relationship headcanons with Port Mafia! Dazai? Thank you!

❥ PM!Dazai Dating Headcanons

ᴀ/ɴ: why does notes make me think that I wrote a lot but this damn app is like haha no; anyways I hope you enjoyed this, dear 💘

Let’s bear in mind that Dazai was more closed off in the Port Mafia

So it will take furthermore time to even get on his trusted side of people

And he will deny the fact that he got feelings for you after you two trust each other

So you will just have to lure him to accepting it

Kind actions with no ulterior motives and just be there to support him

Now when you guys get together

As I said before he might take 6 to 8 months to wholeheartedly open up his heart to you

We can’t blame him tho, man has went through a lot :(

He will gradually start increasing how clingy he is but to a healthy extent

Like at the beginning it might be more of hand holding and an arm around your waist

He would like to show people that you are his and that you are taken

And it reminds him that he isn’t alone anymore and that he has you by his side

But as I was saying it will slowly get to him demanding hugs every 20 minutes because he likes hugging you

It gives him a welcoming warmth

Ayo everyone your girl’s love language is physical affection

I don’t think he would like when you go on missions and stuff

What if something happens to you?

What then?

Does he have to endure the loss of another person?

Does he want something to trick him to thinking that he is the reason everyone around him is suffering?

No, and he won’t take the risk of losing you when he has an option not to

He does prefer that even if you go on a mission that he is with you

As you can probably guess it’s that so he can make sure nothing happens out of plan

Now that we got the sad stuff out of the way

Let’s move onto fluffy things ;)

I think he would give you kisses at the most random times and even inappropriate times

In the middle of a meeting?

Kiss

You are cooking?

Kiss

You are arguing with someone?

Kiss

When Chuuya joins he teases him mercilessly and proudly comes to tell you the story of his “accomplishment” everyday right after said incident

“Y/N I dropped a bucket of sardine and sewer water on Chuuya! :D”

*obnoxious angry gremlin noises from said chihuahua*

Sometimes you might find Dazai staring at you blankly

But DONT misunderstand that

It’s just him thinking about the fact if he deserves you or not if he is allowed to actually enjoy life :(

Which brings me to the part that I think Dazai would want reassurance and comfort yes

But without making it obvious

Like a “you are strong and I am here for you”

Not a “you are vulnerable so I am supporting you” type of comfort

He doesn’t like vulnerability and/or showing a weakness

So just hug him and whisper sweet nothings to him

It will slowly convince him and that he indeed does deserve to be happy

And there is a value to life even if it’s as simple as making memories

And that now his memories can finally be happy and full of light rather than the darkness and emptiness he has been feeling for a time now

Moving on

He would love when you and Odasaku talk together

It makes him happy or rather the more I am trying to find is content that two of his most trusted people are getting along

You sometimes gang up on ango, all the three of you together

And at the times you are not with them in Bar Lupin then when he gets home he will tell you all about what happened

“Me and Odasaku had just came from a mission and then hugged Ango and he was screaming because we were dirty <3”

I think Dazai would love cuddling both in PM and the ADA

Most preferably when you are laying on top of him and he just has his arms around you

Another one is saved for the moments he feels particularly bothered and vulnerable

It’s when he is facing you but slides down a bit that his face is facing your chest so he can bury himself in it

Probably because he doesn’t want you to see him when he is weak, but not for the reason of not trusting you

Rather that he just wants to give you his best him

Dazai deals with jealousy—the same way he does now

Someone hitting on you?

Cheerfully approaches the person and slides his arm around your waist then pulls you close

“Hello there, what buisness might you have with my lover?”

and proceeds to shake hands with the other person

Almost crushing it as a warning ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That’s exactly why people should take the hint

TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF MY HIPS BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE LIPS STOP YOUR STARING AT MY—

The good times of these songs

Now back to the sad stuff cause I am not sparing you today in the name of making this longer

When he witnesses Odasaku’s death and Ango’s betrayal is a day when he would just like to rant about everything

He doesn’t normally show too much feelings and he probably needed to vent, after all his two most trusted friends are gone

Then he would like to be held by you for the rest of the day

A silent reminder that you are here to stay

He also won’t hesitate in asking you to leave the Port Mafia with him

And will be happy and joyful if you do accept but if it’s the latter..

Then we will save this for another time

AHAHAHAHA

BYE BYE

LOVE YOU ALL

“What did my lovers do to you so you can leave them on a cliffhanger?”

I am feeling evil today

༼ つ ◕◡◕ ༽つ

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

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elysianslove · 4 years ago

Text

when the stars align; oikawa tōru

requested by anon; ❝ hi bb :) can I request an Oikawa and reader story where they’re two petty/sarcastic best friends. Like they just have that understanding that their love is shown through petty comments or bickering lol but n e ways, the reader gets approached by a guy she doesn’t really like but isn’t thinking and says she’s seeing Oikawa and now they have to act like a couple but all they end up doing is bickering and Oikawa complaining. I hope that makes sense lol thxx <3 ❞

pairing; oikawa tōru x reader

warnings; it’s the fake dating trope with oikawa tōru. that is a warning in itself

note; i screamed when i found this in my inbox this trope has a special place in my heart and the fact that oikawa was requested??? pls don’t let this flop :(

━ you’re not sure why you said it. you rack your mind for an excuse: you’ve known him too long, you spend majority of your time with him, you had just been texting him a moment earlier — that must’ve been why you’d sprouted that ridiculous excuse to rid yourself of spewing out a futile, useless rejection. there’s an array of mixed emotions on you as you watch the boy before you shrivel in disappointment, sighing in frustration.

“i’m sorry, i’m dating oikawa right now, actually,” you had said, like the liar the same boy you refer to has coerced you into becoming to fuel your endless sneaking out.

the guy before you, honestly nameless due to both your carelessness towards him and your uncomfortableness around him, shoves his hands into his pockets cooly, attempting to shrug it off. “well, you know where to find me in case it doesn’t work out,” he jokes, and you have to fight off the urge to cringe directly in his face at his words.

instead, you lightly smile, more similar to a grimace, and nod politely, before turning and heading in the complete opposite direction, despite the other way having been your initial route. your shaky hands fumble for your phone, and you pull it out, unlocking it and tapping on the messages app.

i did something stupid, you type out, and you’re unsure whether you’re grateful or thrown off by how quick oikawa responds.

not surprising. what did u do

the familiarity of his tone only calms you slightly, and before you can talk yourself out of it, already having thrown yourself too deep when you’d thought up the lie, you explain the situation briefly. instead of a text message response, his caller id flashes across your screen, and your breath hitches. regret begins flooding you, and carefully, you slide to answer.

“i don’t want to hold your hand!” you complain, smacking at his palm when it reaches for yours.

oikawa sighs amusingly, grabbing your wrist anyways and linking your fingers together. against all odds, and to your disappointment, you shiver at the feel of his hand in yours. it’s considerably larger, and despite the fact that this is farthest from the first time you’ve gripped his hand, your insides twist. his fingers are slender, and his palm and the pads of his fingers are soft. for all the years you’ve known oikawa, his hands constantly run cold, and you’ve hated it for multiple reasons. one being the way it gave him an ego boost of ‘cold hands only mean i have a warm heart.’ the second being his infuriating actions of constantly pressing his palms to your skin, specifically the back of your neck. but most importantly, it signifies just how little oikawa tends to care for himself at times, the way his hands shake when it gets too cold, when the world grows too small, the tips of his fingers a bruised blue and purple. and you hate it. even more so, you hate how much you hate it.

despite all this, his hand feels — nice in yours; it’s a comfortable contrast to your own warm hand. still, your frown remains on your face as you see the school gates appear before two of you, never daring to reveal any of your thoughts to him.

“if you didn’t want to hold my hand, you would’ve thought up a better lie,” oikawa argues, and you turn your head to glare at him. he diffuses it easily when his thumb brushes against the back of your hand, your words faltering momentarily. “could’ve had anyone! iwa, mattsun, makki— i know they woulda loved to do this with you.”

“you’re insufferable,” you huff, but your cheeks are painting red, visibly too. he’s right, you realize. he’s terribly right.

“but you still chose me,” he teases.

your hand in his twists until you’re bending his wrist at an awkward, painful angle, until he’s pinching at your arm to force you away. he’s right, but that doesn’t make it mean anything.

by now, you’ve spent more time glaring at oikawa threateningly and in warning than you have your entire friendship with him, and it’s honestly starting to give you a headache. after admitting your situation to the three other third years, and giving them maximum fifteen minutes to laugh until they ran out of breath, iwaizumi included, spend the next twenty minutes huddled up next to oikawa, your chair attached to his.

the guy, who had been persistent enough in asking you out that you’d resorted to this, decided to spend his lunch break in the same area as the five of you, leaving you unable to push away and bicker with oikawa the same way you would any other day. you pick at your food as you avoid his gaze, oikawa’s arm around your shoulder heavy, leaving a trail of sparks up your spine and along your arms. it makes you want to scream, loudly too.

makki and mattsun have resorted to making fun of the guy, whispering between themselves, but it’s still awfully loud enough that there’s no possible way he can’t hear. iwaizumi and oikawa have their attention on each other, discussing some upcoming practice match in the weekend.

and all you’re left with are your thoughts, your nagging, unbearable thoughts, about how pretty oikawa’s hand looks as it hangs by your shoulder, brushing against your arm with every small shift of his body. with shameful, red cheeks, you shut your eyes in frustration, and allow the regret to boil and build in your stomach.

the weeks pass steadily. outside of school, your relationship with oikawa remains unchanged, and although he’s just as touchy as he is with you with an audience, the source of affection continues to be — simply friendship. and whenever you catch any disappointment building because of that, you pinch yourself in reminder than none of it is real. the way he always has an arm around you, the way he fumbles with your fingers, the way he ties your hair back for you while you work on an essay during your break, the way he kisses your cheek, a show of respect for your boundaries, but as a way to reinforce that you’re his in front of anyone, or the way he lets you lift one leg over his own, just because.

and you’re left wondering that if it were real, would it be the same?

he sits before you now, cross legged on your bed, back straightened and mouth stuffed with popcorn, completely engrossed in the movie before him with his eyes wide open. the three other boys are spread across the room: makki laying on his stomach, chin perched on his hands by the edge of the bed, while mattsun and iwaizumi share the couch, drinks in their hands, all three just as enamored by the movie as oikawa.

you had always been aware of just how pretty he is, and everyone around you has always ensured that you do. was it the way the light from the screen shone in his face, reflecting in his pretty brown eyes and shadowing some of his features? or was it the way he sat so comfortable in your bed, in nothing but sweatpants and a loose shirt because, of course, the four of them were bound to stay the night? was it the way his lips glistened with the water he gulped, or because of the way his tongue poked out to lick at the salt from the popcorn?

or was it nothing in particular, or everything all at once?

sighing lowly, you shift and sit up, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and heading towards the bedroom door. “i’m gonna grab some water; anyone want anything?” you announce.

none of them seem to hear you, too lost in the movie, but makki turns his head to the side slightly, eyes remaining on the screen, and replies, “no thank you.” it’s all you need to leave the room.

as you walk out, oikawa eyes you, then eyes the filled up water bottles next to where you had been sitting. his heart tightens in his chest.

two months into the fake relationship you’d established with oikawa, and it begins to feel natural. it no longer feels off putting to walk hand in hand with him to school, or to greet him with a grandiose hug and a kiss on the cheek, or to wear his jersey to games and cheer for him from the stands, or to constantly have his ankle looped with yours beneath the table where, despite this all being for show, nobody can really see.

outside of your fake relationship traditions are your friendship traditions, which include, but are not limited to, him walking you home. it’s always been mostly because your mother adores him, or because he prefers the food that’s at your home as opposed to his, or because your home is on the way to his anyways, but it’s a lot closer, so he always ends up staying longer than anticipated.

either way, it’s not unusual that he walks by your side as the moon illuminates your path. it is, however, not very like him to stay quiet the entire way. you can see the roof of your home growing in size as you near it, and he’s yet to say a word to you. it both weirds you out and worries you, and before you can convince yourself you were overreacting, you pause in your step, the gravel beneath you scratching and crunching as you turn to face him.

“alright, spit it out.”

his eyes meet yours, wide and confused. “what?”

you sigh. “something’s up, and you’re either gonna tell me now or i’ll force it out of you later,” you reply.

“i’m not—”

“oikawa.”

“stop it, i’m fine—“

“tōru.”

“i can’t do this anymore.”

your heart stills, and almost as if in understanding, in pity, so does the world around you. the wind no longer howls in agony, respecting your need for silence as the trees around you look on curiously. your brain processes a little slower than your mouth, and you’re asking him, “what are you talking about?” before you could think.

his gaze falls from yours again, and he takes a step back. “i can’t be with you anymore. or — fake being with you anymore,” he admits to you.

you’re not sure why, but you had imagined this scenario to be a lot less earth shattering than it is. maybe you’d grown to like faking it, because it slowly started to become the closest you could get to experiencing it realistically. you refuse to speak, and it isn’t because you’re angry at him. it’s because you genuinely are lost for words. it’s not even a real break up, but it still hurts just as bad, if not worse. it’s your own fault for believing that this, whatever this was, was as simple as it seemed.

“not unless— not unless i can really be with you.”

what?

“what?”

he breathes in steadily, and moves forward, closer, closer, closer to you. his hands rise to your cheeks, cupping them softly, flinching when your breath hitches. but you make no move to push him away, only stare up at him, in wonder, in confusion. he opens his mouth, preparing himself to speak. you expect a monologue, a speech, a declaration of his undying love for you, because it sounds just as dramatic as oikawa is. the moon above you holds its breath, waiting for the band to snap, for the words to spill and drown you.

but then he kisses you.

his hands urge you up and he meets you halfway, pressing his lips to yours. they’re soft, and he tastes like cherry, and it’s probably your chapstick if you were being honest with yourself. his mouth moves languidly against yours, as if he’s trying to drag out every moment, as if he wants to purposefully slow down time, begging and pleading for the world around him to stop. the kiss is sweet, gentle, and somehow, kissing him is exactly the way you’d imagined it would. it’s breathtaking, and dizzying, and overwhelming, and needy and it’s beautiful.

when he pulls back, he doesn’t let go of you. his hands remain cupping your jaw, his mouth hovering over yours. his thumb brushes along your cheek momentarily as he gazes at you, admiring you, as if memorizing every inch and every detail of your features.

“tōru, you idiot,” you sigh. the insult isn’t foreign to him, not even on your tongue, but he still looks taken aback, and even more so when you reach up and close the distance between you again. the world lives again, the moon celebrating within the clouds, the wind twisting in your hair, whispering and whistling cheerfully by your ear as the trees dance.

it all comes together, and the stars finally align.

end note; i’m so happy with this!!! i hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as i loved writing it!!! <3

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa x you #oikawa fluff #fake dating trope #haikyuu fake dating trope #oikawa tōru x reader

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bokutoslittlebird · 4 years ago

Note

Your headcannons for a corrupting with the Kuroo one. I was wondering if you would ever do a one shot, Drabble, or another headcannon of what Kuroo does to force his sister into submission? 👉👈

Ah yes, more onee-san corruption. I will probably not be doing a pt. 3 like Bokuto’s (sorry Kuroo stans)

Warnings: incest, gagging (via tie), handcuffs, blackmail, dubcon/noncon, alcohol, smoking, manipulation, abuse

Kuroo Corrupting Onee-san

With the new living arrangements with your brother, Tetsurō, you had life much easier. With the kids having a good role model in their life, you’re free to relax. The best way to relax, in your opinion, is to drink a glass of wine while relaxing in a steaming hot bath. You’ll admit, at first it was rare. A bath to relax in once a week, a glass of wine accompanying you. The bottle hidden under the bed in the guest room, away from Tetsurō’s eyes. He didn’t like drinking, nor did he like it when you drank.

Then it changed. A glass of wine per week turned into three glasses per week, the it became a glass per day. You didn’t bother hiding it from Tetsurō. He wasn’t your boss, your father, or even your older brother. You controlled your life, not him. Even if he was kind enough to let you stay at his luxurious house, there was no reason for him to make you feel like you needed to hide stuff. You had some extra money, after all, since Tetsurō dealt with the bills and funeral costs.

Tetsurō, on the other hand, believed you to be acting out because you’re too free. With your life of being controlled for so long, it’s no wonder why you’re suddenly drinking freely and sneaking a smoke at night on the porch or balcony. After Tetsurō goes into his room, 30 minutes later you exit your given room and slink outside to light a cigarette. It disgusts him how much you’ve changed from the sister he remembers. The one he loves, the one he wishes never left. His decision to prevent you from going down the same path as everyone else in the family was to set in restrictions.

“No more alcohol? Smoking? Tetsurō, I’m not a child,” you argue. With the blanket of darkness upon the house, both of your daughters had already been tucked in and were sound asleep.

“You may not be a child, but you need to be responsible. I won’t be able to help you if you act like this,”

“Tetsu, this isn’t what I signed up for. I needed help getting back on my feet. If you’re gonna to act like my ex, I’ll leave,”

“Your- You think I’m like that piece of shit?” The anger in his voice freezes you to the spot, glare directed right at you. “I’m trying to help. You’re damaging your relationships and yourself,”

“Tetsu, you’re controlling me. If you’re gonna act like this, I’m gonna leave. You and Kouki are one and the same. I don’t need my children to deal with another pathetic excuse for a-”

Your sentence was cut by a sharp slap, the noise echoing loud in your ears as blood rushes to your face, hot where he touched. The stinging residue of his slap brought tears to your eyes, betrayal evident in glossy orbs.

“Don’t talk to me like that. I’m not the bad guy,” his voice is low, cracking as he tries not to let his face crack. You grit your teeth, anger boiling through your blood.

“How dare you fucking-!” You’re once more shut down, Tetsurō‘s hand on your mouth as you struggle. He’s much stronger than you, not to mention larger and more broad. He’s able to easily maneuver you down on your knees, vulnerable as he drags you over to his desk. Your struggling helps to loosen his grip a bit, but his hand stays on your mouth. Once he shuts a drawer, your mouth is free as he secures you to the drawer. “Tetsu, enough! Stop!”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” His voice gets louder as he loosens his tie and wraps it around your mouth. The fabric is quickly soaked with your saliva and your screams are muffled. “Fucking finally. This isn’t what I wanted, you must understand that. This is the best for you, making sure you’re not setting a bad example for your daughters!”

A muffled response is all he gets as an answer, your noises of struggling and squirming making his guilt worsen. As he starts to regret his decision, panic settling in as he realizes that he is, indeed, acting like your abusive ex. He knows he’s doing it for the best results, he’s doing it for your own good, but the gnawing feeling of knowing he’s no better is still there. The intention is different, the actions are the same. As you struggle, he comes to that realization.

But there’s another voice.

You’re helpless before him, the sister he’s been in love with since before she left him. As your skin shows more and more underneath the blouse, he notices the darkened marks. The only signs of an affair. The evidence makes his blood boil again, knowing you’re out whoring yourself instead of being a good mother. You’re just as bad as you were when you were 17, sleeping with random guys just because of the thrill. If he had known...

“This is poor behavior and you need to be properly reminded you have other responsibilities. If you wanna be a slut so badly, then so be it. You wanna do harmful things, then so be it,” his voice is shaking, but his hands are not. Popping open the buttons on your blouse, you struggle once more. With the handcuffs around your wrists, keeping you chained to the locked desk, you’re completely helpless as he undos the shirt. Once he gets it off and down your arms, he realizes the position you’re in. It’s a bit hard to have access to your body when you’re chained standing up to a drawer.

The handcuffs are released and forgotten, falling to the floor as he keeps your hands behind your back. “You make so much as a peep, I’ll make you regret it. Starting with your precious brats,” he sneers, halting your movements. You don’t struggle, letting him lead you from his office to his bedroom. It’s not far, but you pass the hallway where your children’s rooms are. It’s tempting, the urge to scream and beg for them to call the police or get help from a neighbor, but you don’t. Tetsurō may be family, but he isn’t a liar. He doesn’t bluff. He’ll do what he needs to do to get what he wants, even if that’s covering up a crime. The hallway fades from view and in place is Tetsurō’s bedroom, the door opening only to shut and lock.

“This isn’t how I expected my teenage fantasies to come true, but there’s no going back,” he pulls you towards the bed, letting you fall and bounce on the mattress. It’s a luxurious king sized bed, Western-styled, similar to the other beds in the house. Red silk sheets paint a romantic scene, your bra-clad chest for his viewing pleasure as he strips down. With each piece of clothing stripped from his body, you’re free to admire how much he’s changed since you last saw him. With the three year difference between you, he was just beginning high school when you left. Now he’s toned and tall, muscles flexing and rippling with each movement until he’s down to his boxers.

When his hands go to stripping you down, you don’t fight back. Your will to fight was stripped from your previous resistance. With the looming threat of your daughters getting hurt, you can’t find it in your body to put up even a bit of resistance. When you’re down to nothing, you shiver as his predatory gaze lingers on the evidence of your recent affair, a man you met over a dating app that happened to be a pathetic excuse of a man and a lousy lay. With a growl in his throat, your legs are pried open to Tetsurō’s heavy gaze, a sickening feeling in your stomach as he licks his lips. The boxers he wears are discarded, the fabric useless as he palms his hard cock. You’re staring, you know you are, but he’s much bigger and thicker than you expected. With beads of precum bubbling at his slit, he moves it to rub against your pussy lips.

“Tetsurō, please, don’t do this,” you shiver, covering your chest as you move your legs. He’s quick, pinning them to your chest as he applies weight. The feeling of being crushed is all you can think about, knowing he’s keeping you restrained in a brutish way. He doesn’t answer you, glare on the way his cock looks between your folds. Once he feels a bit of slick build up, he pumps his cock with your slick, sticky translucent strands covering his shaft and his hand.

It’s sudden, his cock slipping right into your heat. It has a moan slipping out, toes curling as he sinks into you. His own groan had you clenching around him, a sexual sound that you’d never expect from your brother. Hissing, he rocks his hips into yours until each inch disappears into your cunt.

“Tetsu, please,” you beg, hands gently pushing at his shoulders. “You can still back out,”

“If you’re so desperate for a fuck and some dick, then I’ll give it to you. Disciplining is the first step in obedience,” he grunts, keeping your knees to your chest as he thrusts into you. Your head is thrown back, the feeling of him rubbing every sensitive spot inside you has your orgasm building faster than you expected. “I’ve been dreaming of this for so long, taking back what was taken from me. Thinking you can go off with whoever, not anymore. Not while I’m here. You’re mine, all mine,”

With his confession ringing in your ears, his thumb goes to your clit and has your vision dotting. A muffled scream of his name, your hand covering the noise, comes as you cream on his cock, sticky white fluid on the base of his cock. He doesn’t stop nor hesitate in his thrusts, putting more force behind each pump as tears stream down your cheeks, lungs burning from the position.

“One more. Come on, nee-san, give me one more,” he encourages, fingers swirling around your clit and pinching the sensitive area. Legs tense as they shake, vision going black as your eyes roll with the force of your second orgasm. With a groan, Tetsurō finishes himself inside. His seed swishes inside you, coating your walls and spurting our when he pulls himself free of your hole. He’s not aiming to get you pregnant, oh no. He wants obedience.

Best way to do that is assert his dominance in your life, he thinks, as he positions himself to enter you once more.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #BB.Kinky #BB.Dark #tw.dubcon #tw.noncon #Mr. Tetsurō #Kuroo.Spice #kuroo x reader #BB.Requests #tw.incest #tw.alcohol #tw.smoking #tw.blackmail #tw.manipulation

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meltwonu · 4 years ago

Text

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 18]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; dom!seungcheol, dirty talk, car sex, filmed sex videos, using panties as a gag, but also panty stuffing, choking, domme!reader for like .3 seconds ☠️, after all the mess of last night(iykyk) i think we need this lol, but also a bit of a filler chapter for… reasons. 💕 but also came out raunchier than I anticipated but that was maybe just a me thing LOL 😭 as always, thank you for all the love and support with cherry bomb💕💕 only two more chapters left, I cant believe it... 😭😭😭 also again, another inbox roundup tomorrow! For now, enjoy ch 18 and have a great weekend! Be safe! ❤️🍒

not me editing the notes to include the ❤️🍒 that cheol just used on weverse 😩

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - x - x

“Did you get it?”

Jun looks around the diner as he nods, “Yeah. It got to my house yesterday but I still don’t understand why I had to help you get this… Does Seungcheol-hyung not know? I’m confused.” He laughs nervously, somewhat concerned he’s helping you do something you shouldn’t be doing.

You grin back at the confused male, blinking innocently at him while he chuckles under his breath.

“Not… for now. But don’t worry. He’ll find out! I just… Haven’t brought it up to him yet, is all! But I will! ‘Cause we’re planning something~”

Jun’s lips fall into a surprised ‘o’, eyes flitting to the group of people that enter the diner.

“I’ll be with you in a moment!” He yells, smiling before he turns to face you again. “So you’re scheming something but hyung’s just not part of the scheming… yet?”

“Exactly!”

“Hey, what do you say we go on a picnic date on Saturday?”

You tilt your head at Seungcheol, eyebrows raised. “I mean, I’d love to but we need to… post on Saturday? We haven’t filmed anything yet so I thought we’d film early on Saturday and then… y’know.”

Seungcheol grins at you from the opposite end of the sofa; eyes glimmering with a playfulness that has you mumbling a quiet ‘I see’ before rolling your eyes jokingly at the male.

“I see you’re scheming so the answer is yes, ‘Cheol, I’d love to go on a date with you on Saturday.”

“Good, ‘cause I already have everything set up for us so it would’ve been a waste!”

The two of you share a laugh before you’re remembering what you needed to bring up to Seungcheol. “Hey, by the way… about the channel rebranding thing.” Pausing, you wait for him to give you his full attention before you continue. “I thought maybe, we skip next week’s Wednesday show and instead we do a Friday show and for the last time, do a Saturday show and that’ll be, like, the rebranding? Is that confusing?”

Seungcheol nods along slowly, “No I know what you’re goin’ for. Any ideas for the shows?”

Your face and cheeks feel hot as you squirm, “Well… I had this idea. Why don’t we each… come up with a show concept. I’ll pick Friday’s show and you can pick Saturday’s and we’ll go with each other’s idea. Not, like, a competition but y’know, I thought it’d be fun for our viewers too! They can see what we come up with when each of us have control of the theme.”

Seungcheol goes quiet, contemplating his options. “And neither of us will know what the other’s concept is until the show?”

“Mmhmm! All within our hard limits though! That’s the only rule.”

A grin finds its way onto Seungcheol’s face.

Oh, did he have ideas.

“Sounds fun. Can’t wait to see what you come up with, baby.”

‘Jeongguk I have a favour.’

Jeon 🥴: always favours wit u but ok, i havent been disappointed yet

Jeon 🥴: u keep me on my toes, it makes me tingly

‘Shut up’

‘Do you have Jimin’s phone number, by chance?’

Jeon 🥴: I mean yea i do but…

Jeon 🥴: nvm i dont wanna kno

Jeon 🥴: but actually i wanna kno before i give it to u

‘Just give me the number and you can find out next Saturday’

Jeon 🥴: cryptic but i like it

Jeon 🥴: 82 13 1013 0613

Jeon 🥴: ur welcome

‘Thanks, Jeongguk, I owe you.’

The week continues with you and Seungcheol continuing to plan without each other; sly smirks and hushed giggles passed between you both even when Friday’s show comes and goes.

Saturday morning greets you with cloudy skies and pouring rain and you pout at Seungcheol as soon as you manage to get the curtains open to watch the downpour.

“‘Cheol, it’s raining… How are we gonna go on a picnic date now?” He bites the inside of his cheek as he thinks.

“We can still go on our date, we’ll just… stay in the car. It’s not as romantic as I would’ve liked but I already had everything set up for us and even packed a basket.” He laughs under his breath, a little deflated that the rain had suddenly come and ruined his plans.

There went his idea of fucking you on a big picnic blanket out in the open.

“I gotta say, even though we’re just chilling in your parked car on the hillside… It’s actually quite pretty out here, ‘Cheol! Kinda calming with the rain and all~”

The two of you stay bundled up underneath a blanket in the backseat; the car windows already fogged up with the warmth the two of you radiate.

Seungcheol had packed a picnic basket filled with various snacks and premade food; a sheepish smile on his face when he told you he wasn’t sure what to bring.

“I would’ve made food but I wanted it to be a surprise and I also wasn’t sure what would’ve been good to bring. Although, now I’m thinkin’ we should’ve packed a thermos of hot chocolate or something.”

You pull away from him slightly, pouting. “That would’ve been good to warm us up a bit. I totally didn’t think of it either…”

Seungcheol grins, wiggling his eyebrows at you. “Speaking of warming up…” He leaves the comfort of the blanket as he leans over to the side, placing his phone precariously on the phone holder that he’d set up on the backside of the driver’s seat to catch a side view of the two of you. He opens the camera app and quickly starts recording before he settles back into his place across from you.

“Well? Give it to me, baby. Right now.”

You feel a thrum of arousal pour over you at his sudden demand, “I--but--but I’m not p-prepped yet, I--”

Seungcheol chuckles, shaking his head slightly before he leans over you; making sure the two of you are within the camera’s line of filming.

“Baby, I just wanted a kiss.” Your entire face goes hot, all the way up to your ears. “O-oh.”

He leans in, soft lips pressing against your own as he tangles a hand in your hair to deepen the kiss. You melt into his touch, lips parting on their own as you let out soft moans that mix in with the pitter patter of rain outside.

His lips leave yours and before you can even get a word out, a shiver runs up your spine when he starts pressing soft kisses against your jawline.

“So pretty and all mine.” He mumbles; voice muffled against your warm skin. “And now everyone knows who you belong to, right, angel?”

You nod shakily, throat dry at the gentleness in Seongcheol’s voice. “Y-yeah… ‘m all yours, ‘C--Cheol…”

“Should I leave some reminders? Just in case anyone forgets.”

You mewl in response, eyes rolling back when you feel Seungcheol starting to leave love bites on your neck. He sucks on the skin, only to soothe it with his tongue moments after.

“A-ah, don’t l-leave so many or e-else…” Whining, you rub your thighs together under the blanket; already feeling the arousal starting to take over your body.

“Or else…? I wasn’t aware you were giving me orders now, baby.” He smirks against your skin, leaving one more love bite on the column of your neck before he pulls away.

He kisses you softly on the lips once more before he’s pulling the blanket off of you and tugging you onto his lap; a gentle, warm smile on his plush lips. Your lust filled eyes meet Seungcheol’s before they’re flitting down to your lap where he pushes your skirt up to reveal your panties and before you can fully comprehend, he’s already tearing at the material before he tosses it to the side.

“I want you to ride my cock just like this, baby. Forget the camera’s even rolling, I wanna see you getting off in the backseat of my car and I wanna see your pretty face when you’re falling apart from how good my cock fills up your pretty cunt.”

You rock your hips against Seungcheol’s; hands placed on his shoulder as you chase your pleasure.

“You look so pretty like this, angel. So fuckin’ cute when you’re getting what you want.” You moan in response, head thrown back when the head of his cock taps your g-spot.

“So fuckin’ wet for me.” Seungcheol pauses; hands snaking down your body until you feel them on the skin of your ass.

He squeezes your ass as you whine loudly, fingertips teasing at the puckered rim. “Ah, we should’ve brought a toy with us. Bet you would’ve liked both of your needy holes filled, huh?”

“Y-yes, fuck! S--Seungcheol!” You clench around his cock, bouncing in his lap harder when he pulls his fingers away.

“We’ll save it for another time~ Wouldn’t want to rock the car too much, y’know? And I’d want you to be comfortable when you have all your needy ‘lil holes filled, not in the backseat of my car.” He grins at your somewhat disappointed face; feet planted on the floor of the car before he’s thrusting up into you and matching your erratic movements.

“Oh, g-god, it feels s--so good! I, ah, w-wanna cum!” Whimpering, your brows furrow as your hazy eyes meet Seungcheol’s.

“Aww, my sweet angel wants to cum already? So fuckin’ easy. Only a few minutes on my cock and you’re already falling apart?”

When he smirks back at you; there’s a sudden pang of confidence that pours over you and in an instant, you move a free hand up to the column of his throat. You squeeze down slightly, only enough as a warning as he licks his lips at you.

There’s a beat of silence as the two of you stop your movements while you sit perfectly still on his cock.

“Hmm? Gonna choke me to shut me up, baby? Go ahead. Let’s see if you can.” He taunts, hands still on your clothed waist. You start swiveling your hips again, except this time you keep your hand loosely wrapped around his neck; fingertips only just pressing into the sides as he lets out a soft groan in return.

“I bet you’d like it t-too much, ‘Cheol…” He chuckles softly; nodding when he feels his cock throbbing inside of your pussy.

“Not as much as you do.” He starts thrusting up into you again, momentarily making you lose your hold on him when your body jostles from his harsh movements.

“Mmh, gonna cum in your pretty cunt ‘n then I’m gonna make you sit pretty with your fingers keeping my cum inside while I drive us both home. Fuck, bet you’d cum again just from that too. Sitting in the passenger’s seat, fingering my cum deeper into your needy cunt.”

Before Seungcheol can say any more, your other free hand quickly reaches for your discarded, torn panties; shoving them into his parted lips as he lets out a surprised noise around the fabric.

“You, ngh, t-talk too m-much…” You mutter.

Seungcheol can’t help but laugh around the fabric, quickly pulling your hand from around his neck as he swiftly maneuvers you off of his cock to switch your positions.

He presses you down into the backseat as he pistons his hips into you; his hands keeping your legs spread obscenely wide as he fucks you hard and fast.

The car rocks back and forth with his harsh movements and your moans only get louder and louder with each thrust of his hips that has the head of his cock slamming into your g-spot.

“Oh, fuck, fuck, ‘m gonna c-cum!” You feel your walls getting tighter around Seungcheol’s cock and he finds it harder and harder to thrust into you as your body starts to tense with your impending orgasm. He growls around the fabric in his mouth; eyes silently ordering you to cum as his hips start to lose rhythm.

“Ah, S--Seungcheol!”

His name rolls off of your tongue in quick succession until it turns into muddled, broken whines and cries and he fucks you right through your orgasm as he chases his own. He feels his cock throbbing inside of you as your walls flutter around him and he only manages a drawn out groan before he’s unloading all of his cum inside of you; head thrown back as he lets the waves of pleasure wash over his body.

You stare up at him through glassy eyes, chest heaving as you ride out the remnants of your high. “Ngh… gonna, mmh, make a--a mess on the s-seats…” Muttering, it takes a few quiet moments before Seungcheol is slowing down his thrusts to a complete halt but the glimmer in his eyes lets you know he’s not completely done with you just yet.

Seungcheol starts to slowly ease his cock out of you as you groan softly at the emptiness, waiting for the second you close your eyes to blink to make his move.

He takes his chance; pulling the soaked material from inside of his mouth just as the head of his cock is at your entrance and he quickly places the torn panties right where the head of his cock was, just a second ago.

“That was really cute of you, baby.” You breath hitches when you feel his fingers starting to press the material into your spent hole. “Really, really cute.”

Your thighs shake at the feeling of Seungcheol slowly pushing your panties into your cunt; eyes rolling to the back of your head as you let out shaky whimpers. “Oh, fuh--fuck, Seungcheol, mmh!”

“I actually packed a spare pair of panties for you, y’know? I was gonna play nice and eat your pretty ‘lil cunt out instead of letting you sit in cum soaked panties but I guess you had other plans, hmm? Got a little too greedy, perhaps?”

He smirks down at you, watching as your face contorts in unadulterated bliss when he pushes more and more of your panties into your pussy until only a small piece of fabric is left hanging out.

Seungcheol turns to face his phone that’s still recording, plucking it from the holder it’d been in before he flips the camera and films your body instead. He lets it linger on your fucked out expression before he brings it down to your pussy, filming your squirming body as you clench around the fabric keeping Seungcheol’s cum from spilling out of you and onto the backseat.

“Mm, and now you get to sit in the passenger’s seat, your own panties stuffed into your pussy while I drive home. But I bet it feels good, huh? Your needy ‘lil hole plugged up ‘til I can get you home so I can fuck you again. Unless you get really desperate, then I’ll let you take the panties out by yourself and you can finger your cunt and make yourself cum again.”

Goosebumps rise on your skin at his filthy words and you can’t help but bring a shaky hand down, fingertips already on your clit as Seungcheol raises a brow at you.

“You should get to d-driving then, ‘Cheol… Don’t you wanna find out what, ah, I choose?”

He shakes his head as he ends the recording on his phone; tossing the device to the side before he leans over you again.

“You’ve been getting really cocky with me, angel. Something I should know about?”

You blink up at him innocently, lips in a pout.

“Nope~”

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #scoups scenarios #scoups imagines #scoups fic #seungcheol scenarios #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol fic #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt scenarios #svt fic #seventeen fic #scoups #seungcheol

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joheunsaram · 4 years ago

Text

To Make A Power Couple - 02 (knj)

Chapter 2 - Pizza and Life Chats

THIS IS A REPOST SINCE I LOST ACCESS TO MY OLD ACCOUNT. PLEASE FOLLOW THIS BLOG FOR UPDATES ON THIS SERIES.

previous | masterlist | next

Summary- Namjoon and Y/N go on their first date, and Namjoon is whipped.

word count- 5k

pairing- idol!namjoon x ceo!reader

rating- pg13 for now

genre- series, fluff, eventual smut, strangers2lovers

warnings- mentions of hangovers and panic attacks, tooth-rottingly fluffy

a.n- okay here’s the second part! I wrote this up fairly quickly (don’t expect this to be the norm!). This part I wanted to kind of address the stress of overworking as a young adult (GUILTY 🙋🏻‍♀️) so sorry if it gets a little serious at parts. I also wanted to switch it up so it’s from Namjoon’s perspective. I hope you enjoy it. SOFT JOON BEING A BIG OLD SOFTY.

Feedback much appreciated! 💕

taglist - @beach-bitch-bitch-beach, @sassyuniversitytacopeanut

Namjoon woke up startled as his phone alarm rang. He was groggy and his splitting headache made him nauseous. “I’m never going to drink again”, he mumbled. He groaned as he got off the couch he had crashed on the night before, trying not to trip over Taehyung who seemed to be dozing happily on the floor as he made his way to his room. He hadn’t stayed at the dorms in a while, preferring the quiet solitary of his own apartment nowadays, and with his hangover in full swing he felt like he was walking through a stranger’s house.

Last month was hell. He had procrastinated on his songs and none of the vocal guides were even halfway done before the due date. Every time he tried to finish a song a new one would pop up in his head and he would start on that, leading to a hard drive full of files labelled “finish soon” and “draft”, and a notebook full of scratched out scribbles. It was like his brain had decided to abandon him, deciding it had had enough of his perpetual melancholy. He had felt drained and burnt out, a husk with no creative juices left. Luckily, Yoongi and a few of the producers had taken pity on his stressed out state and lent a hand so he had been able to finish the bare minimum three days ago - before the label pressured him further. He was never more grateful for a small break.

In all honesty, he needed a way to jumpstart his brain, and get out of the routine of home, practice, meetings, studio, home. Sometimes, he almost wished he didn’t have the success he had so he could go out and let loose a little - a club, a party, anything. But the last time he went somewhere like that he got swarmed and the police had to be involved. He couldn’t risk that, not after the trouble Big Hit went to threaten media outlets a year and a half ago, when he was caught with what they called a hickey, but was actually a stress rash.

As he brushed his teeth today, however, he smiled at the mirror. Last month may have been terrible, but last night was one of the best he’d had in the past year.

When he had heard Bang PD’s team talk about how they were attending the charity gala as he met them for notes on his songs, he was intrigued. He had read about this non-profit in the paper before. They seemed to be helping bridge the gap between people through communication and that spoke to him. So much so that he had scrolled through their website multiple times, reading testimonials and almost memorizing the mission statement. They wanted to help kids learn English for free so they could communicate globally. He really liked the idea. It was hard for him to learn the language as a kid and he knew that the only reason he became as fluent as he is from the tutors his parents paid for and his obsession with American television and music. Although he didn’t need the tutoring anymore, he did enjoy talking to the in-house tutor at the company, John, from time to time and improving his skills. The fact that this company wanted to add a John to every school in Korea starting from the rural areas, made Namjoon want to meet the man behind the movement. Little did he know, he’d be meeting the girl who’d shift his idea of the ideal.

He had never been more glad to have convinced his company to let him and the boys attend an event. He had initially suggested it as a way to break the mundane before their comeback practices started and network while supporting a cause he liked. Two days ago, he wouldn’t have guessed it would have been an actual fun night leading to him nursing a headache.

He spent the next hour reliving last night as he showered and caught up on the news. He also read the messages he sent last night over a hundred times and had butterflies each time. Wasn’t he too old for butterflies? He wanted to message you again but every time he tried, he ended up overthinking it. Everything sounded forced or cheesy, and it was worse than any writer’s block. He threw his phone on the bed in frustration watching it bounce and land on the floor, before he grabbed it and pocketed it. Hopping around to get rid of his nerves, he decided to take a break from rereading the thread he already had memorized and check in with everyone. If his hangover was this bad he couldn’t imagine theirs.

Making his way back to the living room he found Taehyung now sitting on the floor, sleep still very evident on his features as he yawned and groaned. On the couch next to him sat Yoongi, holding an iced americano and staring into space. The rest were missing but he could hear a blender annoyingly whizzing in the kitchen.

“How’re you guys feeling this morning?” He asked as he sat across from Yoongi.

“This is why I don’t drink. Why did no one stop me?” Taehyung whined as he rose from the floor to leave, massaging his head.

“We tried. You were very excited to try all the disgustingly sweet drinks the hot bartender was making for you.” Yoongi replied with a sigh. “How was your date, Namjoon? You glad I forced you to go to the bar to talk to her?” he snickered, sipping his coffee before exhaling loudly in contentment.

“Honestly, I owe you big time. She was… amazing. I don’t think I’ve talked to someone that comfortably in a while” Namjoon sighed wistfully.

“I’ll add cupid to my resume,” he deadpanned. “Is she tolerating you for another date?”

“Yeah. We’re getting dinner on Tuesday, but I want to message her now. Argh!” He ran his hands over his face in frustration. “What do I even say? ‘Hi I’m the guy who was too scared to kiss you all night so you had to do it for him, what’s your favourite colour?’” Namjoon was annoyed at himself. It’s bad enough that he was having writer’s block in his music, did he have to have it for something as simple as texting too? This was ridiculous!

“Or you could just ask her how’s her hangover today. Jeez! Do I have to draft each of your messages? Stop being a dumbass and text the person you like.” Yoongi scoffed, clearly over Namjoon’s sudden and uncharacteristic insecurities.

Namjoon gave a resigned sigh as he reached for his phone and wrote out exactly what Yoongi suggested. Hey, he was his hyung for a reason - he had a full 6 months of life experience on him.

Namjoon: Hey! Hope your hangover is not too bad today.

As soon as the message was sent, he started getting nervous. Tapping his foot incessantly while he stared at his phone, willing it to buzz, annoying Yoongi enough to leave him alone on the couch in the process.

Y/N: Hi to you too! I actually don’t get hangovers so I’m doing great lol. What about you?

Namjoon: What do you mean you don’t get hangovers?

Y/N: I don’t know. Can’t get dehydrated if you’re always dehydrated!

Namjoon: That… makes no sense. Do I need to start reminding you to drink water?

Y/N: Only if you’re better than this app on my phone…

Namjoon: I can guarantee you I’m better than any app on this planet.

Y/N: Wow. Big claims! We’ll have to put it to the test I suppose.

Y/N: You never told me how you’re feeling. Oh and how’s Taehyung? Is he okay?

Namjoon: He’s doing fine. Made a pact to never drink again and if i’m being honest, I’m going to join him. I am shocked that your head is not exploding as well.

The messages continued easily after that, filled with updates of each other’s activities, playful flirting and even photos of dinner. By the time Monday rolled around, you had been messaging each other constantly, with no end to the conversation in sight and the only long pauses being when you were both asleep or working. It seemed like you would never run out things to talk about. Namjoon hadn’t messaged someone this frequently since he got out of his last relationship. It felt nice to relay his mundane day to day events to someone and he found himself excited to hear about your mundane, like how you decided to mix two different types of bad coffee blends to make a shockingly worse one. He was surprised again at how fast he felt comfortable around you. It was even starting to scare him a little - he only knew you for three days and it felt like he had known you forever! What was this weird spell you had on him?

The conversation Monday, however, was fairly sparse, and Namjoon was eager to set up plans for the next day, so that night he decided to call you.

After the first three rings, he was overthinking his decision. Maybe it was too soon to call? Maybe you didn’t like talking on the phone? What if it went to voicemail? Would he have to leave a message? What would he say? His inner monologue was quickly halted at the sound of your voice.

“Hello, this is Y/N” you sounded distant, almost too formal. He felt nervous.

“Hi… uh… this is Namjoon. Is this a bad time?”

“Oh Namjoon! Sorry I didn’t check who called when I picked up!” Relief washed over him at the change of your tone. “Sorry one sec can you hold on.” he heard you say as your voice got mumbled. He waited while he heard you talk to someone about proposals and deadlines. Were you still at work? He checked his watch - it was 10 pm. He didn’t know whether to be impressed by your work ethic or worried that you were overworking.

“Hi sorry about that! How are you?” He relaxed at your airy tone and smiled.

“I’m good. Are you still at work?”

“Yeah it’s only like 7 so it’s no big deal. I usually leave around 8” Were you serious?

“Y/N… It’s 10:04…” He was shocked at how nonchalant you sounded, and suddenly he had his answer - he was worried, not impressed. He had known you for three days and already you were setting his caretaker alarm off. He wanted to scold you for being careless and overworking, like he’s used to doing for the boys, but he knew it was too soon. He doesn’t even know why he’s feeling that way all of a sudden and tried to suppress his protective instincts.

“No it’s not! It’s…” He could hear your voice going further away as he imagined you moving the phone in front of you to check the time. “Oh shit you’re right. What the hell? Okay sorry I’m gonna put you on hold again.” Before he could say anything he heard your voice again, distant again but loud. “Oh my god. Guys, it’s 10pm. Go home! Why did nobody tell me? No it doesn’t matter we can do that tomorrow. Please go home. Pack up now! You too Siwon, don’t worry I’ll go home after I get off the phone. See you!” He smiled at the sternness of your tone - it reminded him of a teacher dismissing class.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t realize I overworked my team. Had to send the troops home” you laughed and Namjoon felt his heart flutter.

“I don’t wanna keep you from going home. I can call you back once you get there,” he offered. He felt bad that you were staying in an empty office on his account.

“Oh don’t worry about it. It was a lie to get Siwon off my back. I’m probably gonna be here till like 1 or something. I still have to get this done” you said matter-of-factly, like it was the most normal thing in the world. He knew that tone fairly well, having used it multiple times himself when he locked himself in his studio, running on nothing but coffee and energy bars.

“Okay I know we’ve only just met and we have our first date tomorrow, but do you want some company?” He asked before he could stop himself. The line was silent for a bit, and he felt self conscious, scared that he had overstepped and driven you away. Before he could check his phone to see if you had hung up you spoke.

“It’d be pretty boring for you to watch me just type away. Are you sure? It’s pretty late.” He was sure his cheeks would hurt from how wide he smiled.

“It’s not a problem at all. I was going to work tonight too.” He wasn’t. “We can just work together. I’ll bring food. Did you eat yet?” his words tumbled over each other.

“How very college of you.” He could hear you giggling on the line. “Now that I think about it - I’m starving.”

“Okay text me the address, I’ll be there soon.”

He had never been this excited to pretend to work.

He spotted you as he walked through the doors of the 13th floor, pepperoni pizza in hand. You were sitting at a long desk near the middle of the room. He was surprised as he expected you in an office, but he found you typing away at your desktop. Your hair was tied up in a bun and you were dressed in an oversized beige t-shirt, eyebrows furrowed head bopping to the hip hop track playing through the speakers. You seemed to be in your own little world. He felt like he was spying on you as he leaned against the door watching but he also liked seeing how you acted when you thought no one was watching. He was about to announce his presence when the track changed to a Childish Gambino one and you whooped and started to rap along.

You were now fully head banging and rapping the verse at the top of your lungs. He would be impressed by your fairly good amateur skills if he didn’t find the entire scene so endearing. His heart was doing somersaults as he watched you now fully engrossed in the song, typing forgotten as you got up and started to pretend you were on stage, an imaginary mic in your hand asking haters if they “eatin’ though”. You looked so adorable that he couldn’t help but squeal a little “cute!”

That’s when you saw him, eyes wide. He felt a little bad when he saw how embarrassed you looked, immediately stopping and slapping a hand to your mouth before bursting out in nervous laughter. He could write a whole album with that laugh. Oh he was so whipped, he thought to himself as he made his way to you.

“You know you’re not half bad!” He exclaimed as he set the pizza on the table, pulling a chair next to yours and settling down.

“Do you think your fake compliments will save you from the fact that you were spying on me?” you asked, crossing your hands across your chest, pretending to scowl but failing to do so.

“First, real compliment. Second, would pizza save me?” He opened the box and proudly smiled, loving the way your eyes lit up as you reached for a slice.

“Yes it will!” you exclaimed as you took your first bite, lightly moaning at the taste. “But erase that memory from your brain please.”

“Nope. Never. It was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and I’m going to save it forever” he said as he also started on his slice. You pouted up at him, cheeks puffed and it took all the self-control he had to not kiss it off your face. He hadn’t felt this way in so long, it was like you were his first crush. Trying to control his pulse, he asked “What are you working on so late?”

“Oh I have a proposal due for a meeting tomorrow at noon and I’m only halfway through it,” you frowned wistfully at the screen as if willing it to type on its own.

“Can I help?” He asked, knowing fully well that he couldn’t. He just had an overwhelming urge to make that frown disappear.

“You being here is help enough,” you smiled sincerely as you looked at him and he felt his heart explode, a blush creeping on his cheeks as he smiled bashfully. “What are you working on?”

“I have a few songs I have to finish the lyrics for. Been procrastinating” he rubbed the back of his neck as he pulled out the notebook from his back pocket.

“Can I help?” you echoed his question to which he echoed your response grinning. He wasn’t lying though. Even though he had planned to not really work, as the night progressed he found the change from his usual writing spot inspiring. Sitting next to you, the sound of the keyboard clicking was soothing leading to words pouring out of him. He filled pages as he stole glances at you concentrating on your proposal, tongue peeking from between your lips, still bobbing to the music which was now playing from your airpods instead of the speakers. He smiled at the sight, before focusing on his notebook.

After about an hour or so of hard work, he finished three songs that he had allotted himself the whole week to do. This was the most productive hour he had all month. Antsy for a break, he looked over at you and found you staring at him, a hand under your chin. As he met your gaze you smiled.

“You’re really hot when you concentrate. Has anyone ever told you that?” you commented. He was taken aback by your remark, heart fluttering at your smirking face. Not missing his chance and spurred on by the comment, he scooted closer in one sweep till your knees touched and you were face to face.

“You’re one to talk. I couldn’t stop looking at you this past hour.” Gazing into your eyes, he was amused to see your smirk disappear as it was now your turn to be shocked. He reached out and tucked a stray hair behind your ear letting his hand linger, enjoying the way you sighed as he did. “Can I make good on my promise now?” He whispered, his face centimeters away, looking at your lips. The way you bit your lower lip made him want to take you there and then. The desk looked big enough. Hell, even if it wasn’t he could make it work.

“Promise?” you whispered as he watched your eyes flutter to his lips.

“To kiss you first…” Too impatient to wait for your answer, he brought his lips to yours, relishing how soft they felt under his own. He was thrilled at you returning the kiss, deepening it as you grabbed the collar of his shirt to bring him closer just like you did after the party. He was beginning to think this was your signature move, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t immensely turn him on. He moved his hand cupping your face to rest on your neck and he could feel your heartbeat mimicking his. He put his other hand around your waist pulling you closer, wanting to be as close to you as he could get. He traced his tongue over your lips, his head cloudy with endorphins as you opened your mouth inviting him in. He had never tasted something so euphoric, his tongue exploring yours in a rush.

He could feel you pushing forward as he leaned back and allowed you to straddle his lap, your legs on either side of the chair. As soon as you were on his lap, he pulled you closer, both arms around on your hips, your chest flushed with his. He kissed the side of your mouth as he made his way down your jaw to your neck. You smelt like vanilla mixed with a fresh flower garden, and he was sure this smell was better than any drug in the world. He could hear your breathy moans as he sucked where your neck met your collarbone, licking to soothe it before moving further. He wanted to taste all of you. Your hands were in his hair and each tug made him groan into you, making him harder. He could kiss you like this forever. He wanted to save this moment so he could come back to it and relive it. He traced his hands up and down your sides, moving under your shirt but remaining on your waist, enjoying the feel of your soft skin.

“Namjoon… Namjoon… slow down” he heard you say breathlessly as he felt a slight push. He looked up at you, your eyes half lidded and lusty as you grabbed his face and brought it to yours. You were sending him mixed signals, but he didn’t care as long as he could keep kissing you.

“We have to slow down or I’m going to want to fuck you right here.” You whined as you both came back up for air, but you kissed him again nevertheless. Hearing you say that made him want to do anything in his power to make that happen.

“I don’t mind, baby,” he said against your lips, kissing you with urgency, biting your lower lip and pulling it gently to elicit another moan from you. To his disappointment, you seemed to have better self-control than him as you pushed him back, both of you panting as you struggled to catch your breath. He moved his hand back to your hips tracing little circles, feeling comforted by you smoothing his hair you had pulled earlier.

“There are cameras here. I’d rather not make a sex tape on our first date.” You giggled as you pointed to the black sphere in the corner of the room. He had never hated the obsession buildings had for security more, but the crudeness of your comment made him laugh. He had almost forgotten this was your first date, it felt like he had kissed you a thousand times before. You tasted like the relief of an awning in the middle of a summer downpour.

“I think we need to cool down,” you say as you climb off of his lap. “Let’s go.”

He followed you as you led him to the little kitchenette near the end of the room, unable to resist the urge to wrap his hands around your waist in a back hug. He knew he was being too clingy for a first date, but the way you giggled and put your hands over his gave him assurance.

“Lemonade, coke, or water,” you asked as you peered into the fridge.

“You.” He smirked kissing your neck, feeling bold off of the high from your makeout session.

“Joon!” you pretended to sound scandalized as you turned in his arms, smiling warmly. The nickname made his heart swell. It added a familiarity that he didn’t know he missed from you.

“You haven’t called me Joon before. I like it” he smiled as he pecked your lips.

“Hey! We are cooling down! No kissing! Now pick” you chided and Namjoon couldn’t help but wonder if you were this assertive in bed too, a million scenarios playing in his head. Okay, you were right, he needed to cool down.

“I’ll just have water, thanks,” he said as he grabbed the bottle you passed him, opening and gulping half of it. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he was for something other than you. You both made your way to the tables, sitting across from each other.

“So did you finish your proposal?” He asked trying to cool himself but failing as he noticed you running the cold water bottle against your neck, the beads of condensation dripping on your shirt. He cleared his throat as he tried to focus his attention on your eyes, a mantra of stay focused playing in his head.

“Yes! Finally! It’s perfect.” you smiled proudly and somehow he felt a wave of pride too. “What about you? Made any progress?”

“Actually yes. I kind of finished my entire week’s writing in that one hour” he was still amazed by his own progress.

“Okay, Mr Overachiever” you joked and he chuckled.

“To be honest, I didn’t think I’d be able to write anything, but I don’t know your presence is kind of soothing. It helped me focus.” Watching your smile grow wide, he continued, “I’ve been having pretty severe burnout this past month and it has just been hard to put down my thoughts, even non-lyrical ones.” He fidgeted with the water bottle as he looked at it, avoiding eye contact.

He didn’t know why he was telling you this. He recalled when he told you about his struggles as a leader during your first conversation. Somehow being around you led him to vomit out his feelings. It was… unlike him. Namjoon was usually not this honest on dates, or relationships, as much as he would hate to admit it. That’s the reason he broke off his last one. He felt bad lying to her about a busy schedule when he just wanted to be alone. She would have understood, she was kind and thoughtful, but it just felt easier to lie and not put the effort in to explain his thoughts. Even when they broke up, he lied and told her that it was because he couldn’t handle being in a relationship at the moment, when in reality things had cooled off a while ago and he felt guilty as his feelings faded.

He felt your hand reach out and grab one of his, intertwining your fingers. He felt comforted by the gesture as you rubbed your thumb across him before you spoke two words that warmed his heart. “I understand.”

“You know it’s hard to work at full speed all the time. It’s okay to not be at a hundred all the time. The valleys feed the peaks” you continued. It was a simple remark, but it sounded surprisingly poetic to him. He hadn’t felt this understood outside of the boys for a long time. It was refreshing. It was terrifying. He resisted his natural urge to run and hide.

“Are you speaking from experience?” he asked, needing to divert the attention away from his own vulnerabilities.

“Yeah. I had it pretty tough a couple of years ago. Too much pressure from myself, too many expectations. Led to too many vices and panic attacks” you shrugged as you continued and he squeezed your hand to comfort you. “It creeps up from time to time but my therapist and I have it handled” He looked at you in awe. You hadn’t given him a throwaway answer or switched the limelight back at him. You wasted no time in being as vulnerable as him, if not more. He knew at that moment that regardless of where this thing went, he wanted you to know you better.

“Thank you for being honest.” He brought your hand to his lips and kissed it gently. It was an intimate gesture but he wanted you to know how much he appreciated your words - how much he appreciated you - in that moment. You both sat in comfortable silence for a little while, playing with each other’s hands that were still intertwined, till one of you yawned loudly causing the other to giggle. With the weight of the conversation lifting, you both fell back into playful banter as you decided to pack up and call it a night.

“Do you want me to walk you to your car?” Namjoon asked, wanting to drag the night on longer despite it already being almost 2 am.

“Don’t judge me but I actually don’t know how to drive. I was just going to cab back.” he saw you giggle bashfully as you pulled your backpack over your shoulders.

“Oh, no judgment here! Me neither” he laughed. Why does everyone think it is such a big deal to not drive? It’s better for the environment! “Do you want to take one together? I don’t really want you to ride alone this late.” He rubbed the back of his neck, hoping he didn’t come off as if he was trying to dictate what you did.

“I’d really like that,” you said as you walked towards the elevators. He held your hand as you both got on, liking the way you moved closer to him at that.

In the cab you both sat closer than necessary, his arm wrapped around you as you both made plans for your scheduled date later that day, trying not to doze off. When the cab stopped all too soon at your apartment, he kissed you gently as he told you how much he enjoyed your company.

That night laying in bed, his heart felt full as he read your goodnight message. He was sure of it now. He really wanted you in his life.

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beigehearts · 3 years ago

Text

Part I, The Awakening

so im in love with Ran Haitani i might not even get to any requests with the way im feeling so please bear with me. ill be writing fics to make myself feel better and that is all thank you for your understanding

TW / CW // unedited, violence, intense descriptions of gore Word Count: 2.7k

You find yourself in an alley. It's dark and dingy and smells something like rotten food and dead rats. It's a full moon tonight, and it shines brightly through the faded clouds. Snow is trickling down, so lightly that you would miss it if you weren't looking for it. You're laying in the snow of this revolting alley, laid out as if you're trying to make a snow angel.

How did you get here?

It's so cold that your fingers and toes have practically frozen off of your body. So numb, so cold, so alone. You sit up and look around; you can hear your bones creaking as you move around. Now that you're thinking about it... Who are you?

You stand up, ignoring the pain and aches of your body. You can't remember how you got here. You can't remember why you're hear. You can't remember even a week ago. Your mind is a blank slate and it makes you want to scream. Nothing. You remember absolutely nothing.

But you can't stay here. You're already one foot in the grave but you refuse to lay in it. You rub your arms and shiver. You're wearing nothing but a sports bra and some pajama shorts.

buzz buzz

Ah, a phone. You begin walking out of the alley and pull the phone from your pocket.

Addy

where are you??

are you okay???

I'm about to call the police

please answer

I'm worried about you.

sent at 2:04 am

That's not the only missed message. There are two others from who you can assume are friends. And a bunch of missed calls from those same friends.

It's 2:05 am on December 31st, 2007.

For some reason the date just feels wrong. Something about it just feels off.

There's an empty street with shops lining it, all of them with lights off and doors locked. You amble down it and are glad that you can't feel your toes. All you can feel in your bare feet is the crunch of the almost frozen over snow.

Maybe you'll be able to find something on your phone. Your cracked and slow smart phone opens up and you scroll to the maps app. The most recently searched address is 682 白桃通り. Alright, so that's where you'll go. Hopefully you can get out of this cold and warm up some.

You follow the directions, bearing with the 35 minute walk it directs. All of your limbs are starting to go numb, all of them feel like they'll fall off at any moment.

It's an apartment complex. You walk through the empty lobby and take the elevator to the sixth floor. 682... 682... Ah, here it is. The door has a large crack straight down the middle, and the doorknob is barely hanging on.

Hesitantly you push the door open and peek inside. You find the light switch and close the door behind you. The place is completely destroyed. The couch is flipped over and television is laying flat on the ground. Most definitely it will not be able to work. The walls have small holes in them... Bullet holes. There's blood splattered across the walls and the furniture.

But it's warm. So warm. You find the bedroom and hurry inside where it's even warmer. You rush to the bathroom and gape at your reflection.

Your nose is blue, there are icicles hanging from your eyelashes... The rest of your face is beat red and as you warm up it begins to burn. But that's not the extent of it. Your left eye is swollen, it's practically pulsating with it's black, purple and blue color. Your lip is cut down the side, you can see the flesh clearly as the skin splits.

You look down at your hands aimlessly and wonder, just where have you been? Your hands are the same color as your swollen eye and your knuckles are, blood smeared all over them.

As you examine your body, you begin to feel the pain setting in. Stinging hands, aching face, burning toes… It looks like you put up a fight with whatever happened. That thought alone seldom brings you comfort.

You look through the drawers of the bedroom, finding a sweatshirt and some sweatpants along with fuzzy socks. You waste no time in rushing to the shower, basking in the burn of the water and the aching of your sore muscles. The water runs brown and red, staining the shower tiles with it’s hideous color.

Once out of the shower you tend to your wounds. The cuts on your torso and face… But this bruise on your eye is only going to get bigger and swell until the point that you can’t see. You stand over your bathroom sink and grab a knife from the kitchen. Ah yes, here comes the worst part. You bring the knife up to your eye and try to stop the shaking of your hands.

This is necessary you remind yourself. You press the end of the knife into the wound, creating a decent sized slit in it. Immediately blood begins pouring out of it, blinding you as it stains your bathroom counters. Once it stops gushing by itself, you squeeze the rest of the blood out and put a bandage over it after disinfecting it.

After cleaning up the mess that looks like a murder (for the most part), you put on your clothing and jump right into bed. You definitely deserve a nice rest in this comfortable bed. After having done some sleuthing around the apartment, you realized that it’s yours based on the pictures hung of you and your friends. Not to mention the mug with your name on it.

Having the front door busted open and unable to be locked is a bit worrying but it couldn’t possibly get worse than it is right now. You wake up in the morning to the sound of pounding on your front door. Though it doesn’t really mean much because they burst into your house. What is up with people breaking into your house?

You sit up and squint at the suspects who enter your bedroom. There are two intimidating men who make their way over to you. One is an incredibly tall man, Wearing a black kimono of sorts that has something written on it that you can’t quite place. He has dark brown hair that’s pulled back into a single braid. On the side of his head is a dragon tattoo that you think must have been very painful to get.

The other man is much shorter than him, he has cropped black hair that covers his eyes and wears a tank top with a loose zip up sweatshirt.

“Looks like you’ve been busy.” Says the taller one with a chuckle. Though despite his words you can see worry in his eyes.

You look towards the shorter man and squint. He looks so tired, and so rundown. He cocks his head to the side and sucks on the lollipop hanging from his lips. “What the hell happened?”

They must be your friends, that’s the only way this makes sense. You stare at your hand and feel your mind go blank, because you’re asking yourself the same question.

The shorter one looks up at the taller, “Draken…”

He nods at his friend, knowing what he’s asking. The black haired one leaves the room and goes to investigate the torn up living room and kitchen.

So his name is Draken. He sits next to you and places a gentle hand on your knee. He furrows his brows and looks at your face, hoping for answers in just your expression.

“What’s going on?” He asks quietly.

You barely missed being shot… That you can remember but it’s more of an intuition than it is memory. You can hear the whizzing of the bullet by your ear and the loud blow of the gun, deafening you.

You look up at him and shake your head, “I don’t know. I don’t know.”

“What do you remember?” He coos.

You shake your head more vigorously this time, “I don’t know! I don’t remember it! I don’t remember anything!”

His eyes go wide, “What do you not remember? How much?”

You shrug his hand off of your leg and find yourself yelling, “Nothing! Fucking! Nothing! I don’t even know my own fucking name!”

Draken stands up and holds his hand out to you, “We call you Bruiser…”

After that they swept you from your home and plopped you on the back of 'Mikey's' bike. You were taken to Draken's house, he lives in an apartment above his bike shop. Draken leads you through the building with his hand resting on your back.

You sit down on his futon and they settle down as well. They called some people and instructed them to come over. Now you're wondering if you're with friends or enemies. You assume they're friends but how could you ever be sure when you don't have any memories?

You down on some convenience store onigiri, realizing just how hungry you are. The hunger is painful, and your body feels weak.

Someone enters the room and you look up from your food. He's tall as well, with long black hair and narrow eyes. He storms through the room until he's directly in front of you, looking down at you with his sharp gaze. When he opens his mouth you see that his teeth are just as sharp as his look.

"Bruiser what is going on?" He growls out, seeming angry. But he's purely concerned.

Instead of answering you take a bite of your rice snack. He smacks the triangular rice from your hand and grips your jaw. "What happened?"

You grab his wrist to pull his hand away but you're just not strong enough. "Fuck if I know! Who do you think you are?!"

He grits his teeth and how he answers you sends you into silence.

His lips press against yours roughly and your eyes shoot wide open. His kiss is rough and so are his lips, and something about it is familiar. He steps back and examines you for a moment.

You open your mouth to speak but close it. But then you open it again, “Are you a fucking idiot?”

Laughter echoes throughout the room, everyone but you finding this funny. Mikey wipes a tear from his eye and shakes his head, “We we’re going to wait before getting to that point, Baji.”

Huh? What?

You stand up from the bed and shoot a cold look at Baji. How dare he kiss you without asking or waiting for your consent! You raise your hand and bring it down fast, leaving a red and stinging mark on his face.

That laughter trickles out, and turns into an uncomfortable silence. But you don’t have to deal with this… You’re not sure what kind of life you were living but it doesn’t matter, your dignity is more important.

You gather up your belongings, (a jacket, phone, some onigiri, wallet, keys) and storm out of the bike shop. You can tell that something in that room changed when you slapped Baji, a light and fun atmosphere turned dark and heavy.

You don’t bother with looking at your phone or asking for directions, you’ll end up wherever your feet take you. Where they lead you to is another shop… well actually it’s not a shop at all, it’s a bar. You check your phone, 5:45 pm. That’s plenty late enough for a drink.

But before you enter you gaze up at the neon sign. It’s a lit up pint of beer that’s being tipped to the side. The white of the foam is begging to tell you something…

An image flashes in your head, a man being held up against it. He’s held up by nails in his hands and feet, plastered up there for everyone to see, like a tourist attraction. Blood drips from above, dripping onto the sidewalk and leaving a thick puddle.

But it’s only a fleeting image.

You enter the bar and look around hesitantly. It’s some rich type of bar where the booths are surrounded by tinted glass and the tables have complimentary shot glasses. You’ve definitely been here before. But the layout of the place is bugging you. Somethings off.

You earn yourself some looks as you find an empty booth in the very back of the building. It’s smaller than the others, the others can fit six to eight people but this booth can only seat two to four.

It's not exactly as bumping as a bar/club usually is. Sweet oldies play quietly while rich groups of people sit together, sipping of martinis and laughing in 'rich'.

It really is beginning to bother you, immensely. Everything seems so familiar but so foreign at the same time. It's as if the décor has been changed around a bit but holds the same aesthetic as what you can remember. What is it? What feels so wrong about this?

You're too lost in your own thought to realize that someone has entered the building and taken a seat not far from you. He's surrounded by other men who take quickly to drinking. They seem out of place but their demeanor is very comfortable.

After a few drinks (maybe a few too many) You set down the stack of money that resides in your pocket. Who are you to have so much cash stashed away in your pocket? Maybe a prostitute? That would explain why that man kissed you before. Baji.

Time to go home, you're pretty sure you remember how to get home even in this drunken state. Apparently you're a woman who can handle her alcohol, good to know. You find yourself skipping down the empty street of the usually bustling town. Everything seems to shut down at night, leaving it as a ghost town.

There's something so freeing in being a reborn human. While it's frustrating, it feels like you can be anyone or anything. No regrets to weigh on you, no trauma to destroy you, and no memory of the people who have most certainly used you. It's so freeing.

Snowflakes begin descending from the sky, brushing over your clothes and leaving the tiniest of wet spots. It's just like that night. Yesterday night. It seems like so long ago. But this time you aren't half naked and freshly beaten. The moon is shining so brightly that it's almost blinding even through the clouds heavy with snow. You've realized you need to learn to appreciate the small things... In just one day of your new blank slate life, you've had a lot of realizations.

Appreciate the small things. Your past doesn't define you. Perseverance is key. Life is fragile and short... all cheesy realizations you would hear a villain from a kids movie say. But those realizations are a lot for a person with no memories. Right?

Behind you there's the crunching of feet on the cold snow, following not too far behind. Once again your thoughts have consumed you and your senses, leaving you oblivious and defenseless.

The perpetrator begins gaining on you, until he's only steps away. Something else that you didn't know is just how fast your reflexes are. A hand reaches out to you and you duck, swinging your leg to knock the person off of their feet. But they easily evade your attack by jumping over your leg like a skip-it.

You jump back and hold your fists up, ready to fight whoever it is.

In front of you stands a tall man with fair skin. His hair is parted into two sections, black braids that hang over his shoulders. He's wearing a black outfit that makes it hard to see his physique but you can assume it's muscular and lean. But it's his eyes. Yes.

Cold, lifeless eyes that peer down at you as if you are no more than a pathetic bug. Yes. That's what it is. That's exactly what it is.

A long stick, cracking into the back of your knee and you fold. You're hit over the head with it but barely remain consciousness. That baton... Why are you remembering a cold and heavy baton assaulting you when you look at this man?

He puts a hand on his hip and cocks his head to the side, "Why are you alive Bruiser?"

#ran haitani #ran haitani x reader #haitani x reader #baji #baji x reader #mikey #draken #tokyo revengers #part 1 #the awakening #tokyo manji gang #bonten

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tarotmundomonde · 3 years ago

Text

Next 3 months love reading

pick a number 1-5 like & reblog and let me know, which pile you chose, if you found this helpful, etc.

(ps. this reading is for practice, fun and entertainment as always)

1. Welcome to pile number 1. Whether you are thinking about someone in specific or not, the theme seems to be about intimacy, about sleeping with someone maybe. But generally speaking, if you chose this pile, you could feel like there is too much emphasis in sleeping with someone and people's love life history and that could be something you are not happy about for now. First, in this pile the cards are emphasizing health very strongly. How it is important to protect your health and your energy field. Currently you are healthy and can stay healthy and so is your energy, but that's why the cards are talking about it, because they are advicing you to be mindful of who you are intimate with. It's advicing you to be independent and to prioritize yourself, put you and your health first, so you don't have to suffer. Because it seems like if you are with someone just because you feel like you have to and then what if your health and energy field suffers from it, like diseases. Or what if you are with someone and it's one-sided, because they are not into you but you are into them, again that affects your energy field and could cause you suffering, because you can feel it that that person is not committed to you, that it's just physical but there is no love. Something like that could be going on. Otherwise in general, the message for you is all about prioritizing yourself, your health and your energy field and your freedom, your independence. The fact that you don't have to do something just because everyone else does, you don't need to be with someone, if you are not sure about yours or their feelings. You choose, you decide who you are into and who you want to be with. Don't let anyone make you feel like you are not desirable, because if that's how you feel, they ain't your person. The cards are showing that within you there is someone with strong fire, very healthy and beautiful energy. You have it in you, just recognize it, if you haven't yet. And mind what you feed in your love life. Mind who you are giving your time and energy to. And like said before, maybe you feel like there is too much emphasis in sleeping with someone and that could be something you are not happy about for now. Also, it's time for you to discover your powers. And it seems here to have to do with communication. You have the power to talk and express yourself clearly to other people. And conversation is key. Through conversations you can find your answers. As well pay attention to how you feel around someone, what vibes they give you, their body language. And the cards are also reminding you that a good relationship, there is balance, there is equality, there is peace and support. And maybe talking with your friends or something could help you as well figure your thoughts out, etc. And you seem to want to take off, take flight. Like you really want a new beginning in your love life. But in which way and whom with? That's up to you. But really, looking at the cards, it does seem this reading wants to point out that you have strong, fiery energy within you, you are strong, so be more self-confident about yourself and your love life. Something like that. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

2. Welcome to pile number 2. If you chose this pile, there is so much new energy here. So for some of you maybe you'll meet lots of new people. People you'll find attractive, people you'd be interested in dating. Maybe you'll meet them through school or work or a hobby. For others, maybe you are completely single. The main message coming through this pile is of healing by becoming aware of certain thought patterns you have. So it seems that maybe you've dealt with some kind of betrayals or jealousy, envy, comparison, competition and drama in your love life, whether those are things you are feeling or that those are sent your way in love. So for those who might meet new people, maybe in your case when you meet someone you like and others like them, too, you might experience this negative thoughts and feelings, maybe you compare yourself to others and don't truly believe that you have a chance, if someone else is interested in the same person as you. For example you know like when usually people with good looks are never single and maybe you could for some reason feel a degree of bitterness about it. Or maybe there is a friend that is jealous, if you like someone else and they are somehow causing drama in your life. So things like that. And it's like you are meeting these new people to become aware of these dynamics so that you can break free from this. It's time to have new, healthier ways of thinking that will get you back on the right path and change your experiences. Then you could just have more fun and openly just get to know these new people. Something like that. And for others, maybe you don't really have anyone new coming in or haven't recently, but maybe you'll just see random things or meet random people and they will make you think and in that way somehow you'll become aware of these patterns. Overall, the best way to sort of describe what this reading is all about is that you should just focus on you and what you want in your love life. This pile is all about freeing yourself from old ways of thinking, from learnt ways of thinking, to free yourself from other people's opinions. It's like there are some parts that take the fun away from your love life and the cards are advicing you to cleanse those blocks aways and make room for the new, healthier energy. It's like you need to open your heart again and allow yourself to be loved by others who you find attractive, who you would like to date, to know better. So it's like you are having these encounters or something to open your eyes and see things differently. This could actually be related to beauty standards for some of you. But really, the whole point is that as you start thinking differently, in healthier ways, like really you free yourself by being open to new outcomes, to new and healthier ways of thinking, it puts you back on the right path and then things will start to change. Then what you attract will start to change and also your attitude. Like suddenly you'll feel so much lighter and you'll have fun. Something like that seems to be the message for you, if you chose this pile. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

3. Welcome to pile number 3. If you chose this pile, it looks like you'll be doing a lot of daydreaming. Otherwise, if you have someone specific in your mind, for some of you it looks like you want to believe what you want to believe. It's like you see this person as a dream come true, as a real potential. But there is something that is eating away at this commitment. For example they tell you they have feelings for you but that they don't want to commit yet. That should already tell you that they are not serious about you, that they are just playing games with you. You are like a piece in a chess board and they are keeping you there just in case they can't find a queen they want. So it's like they are using your trust to keep you stuck while they are playing around. They are selfish but so are you. They only see themselves and show you what they want you to believe, they are manipulating your trust, your thoughts and you are receptive of it, because you also are selfish in this situation, as you only want to see what you want to see. So it's like it's so obvious they are playing games with you, but you are ignoring all the signs, because you really want this person to be it for whatever reason. It's like there is something they've said or done that makes you see them as someone special, you believe they could be the one and you are holding on to it, even if it's all false. In the end this person will just keep you waiting and keep you stuck in dreams. For others, if you don't have anyone in your mind, this could be something that is yet to happen or simply you'll be thinking about things like this. About how you have a dream about who you'd like to date, what kind of relationship you want, but you are aware of how people play games nowadays. In general, the guidance is to take some time out, to be honest about your dreams and to find trust that you will receive answers and that love you are dreaming about. There is a sense of just going with the flow and allowing yourself to have butterflies in your stomach, to believe that magical things can happen to you in love. And also to know that in the end this is a journey, you keep learning, so in a way it is the game of love. When you meet someone, there is always a chance that could be the person you've dreamt of or it could just be a lesson or a shallow experience, something like that. But be mindful of what you are receptive of, what you allow to enter your life and come to you. But also stay open to receive love and signs and guidance from the universe. Actually, your trust and belief in love can be quite tested during the next three months. And you are asked to just dance with the universe, see where life is leading you. Something like that. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

4. Welcome to pile number 4. This pile seems to be related to fitting in and the image someone is giving or creating. So maybe you could be someone who uses a dating app or you've thought of it and you are trying to create the perfect profile to find what you want and one that would make the ones you don't want to stay away from your page or something. In general, for some of you maybe you are giving off the vibes, the image that you are not interested, that you are an independent woman who doesn't need a partner or something like that and it's not true. Like despite of doing great in your life, you do are looking for love as well. But just that people are for whatever reason judging you in that way, like they've learnt to think that way? Or it could be that maybe you are influenced by your friends when it comes to choosing a partner. Like you want the same as other people have, because you want to fit in. So that could be the case as well. Nonetheless, this reading talks about fitting in and for that reason not really being your true self or being true to yourself about what you want or the others are like that. Like maybe you are a strong female or male and you are ready for a real relationship but it's hard to find anyone, because everyone is focused on superficial things when it comes to dating, to who they date and also, because of wanting to follow the trend. Something like that? So you feel like your dreams are being blocked in love. It's like a time of test for you. Like you want to create love but you can't really do anything about whether someone is on the same page with you or not. Therefore there is a bit of sadness here. Like love is so close, yet so far. That's why the cards are advising you to let go and let glow. Like go with the flow and don't try to fit in or anything, at least stay in your own power. Because for your dreams to come true, you need someone who appreciates you and wants you the way you are and wants to see you glow and grow. Something like that seems to be the message for you, if you chose pile number 4. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

5. Welcome to pile number 5. If you chose this pile having someone specific on your mind, it's possible you or them wants to be comforted. Like wanting someone's sympathy, wanting someone to welcome you into their arms and to hug you and reassure you and make you feel better. Something like that. For others it's like let's say you want true love. And it's difficult to find it, because people are playing games. And so far you've stayed on your path and said no to mind games. But when you see everyone else doing it and when you have a weaker moment, you might question your decisions, you might play what if's in your mind. Playing with the idea of what if you are wrong, what if this, what if that. Especially, if your love life has been quite dead for a while, like on silent mode. And there is also a feeling of that maybe, if everyone around you seem to be okay with games and happy, again it makes you play with what if's. But the cards want you to know that just because they look satisfied on the surface, doesn't mean they truly are or something like that. And the cards seem to want to tell you that you've been on the right path when you've said no to mind games. It advices you to keep that innocence of the child when it comes to love, to keep on believing in love. Because everything has consequences and you are here trying to create something beautiful for yourself. You want to find a person you can call your safe place, you want to create a relationsip where you and your person can both express loving feelings to each other, where you feel free and safe to express your feelings and you'll be comforted by them. But currently you might feel like it's difficult to find people who are real, who are not superficial, it's difficult to find someone who isn't focusing primarily on the cover, so to speak. But also, the cards are telling you that by staying true to yourself and to what you want to manifest into your love life, eventually you'll start seeing signs, receiving some kind of blessings to show you that you are indeed on the right path. Like step by step you'll feel a sense of self-empowerment and balance and well-being and that good things are coming to you. Because this pile is also talking about that if you've been looking for answers about your love life, about what is to come next or something, the answers are given, but that is when it is the right time and when you are ready and open to receive them but also when you stay true to yourself. Something like that. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

#tarot #tarot reading #oracle reading #daily tarot #tarot community #pick a card reading #pac reading

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