#this reads like a shitpost but it's special to me ok

[synonymroll648]

sokeefitz, but fitz is aro and so the triad is made up of queerplatonic keefitz, queerplatonic sophitz, and romantic sokeefe, and they all love each other equally in their own ways. that’s it. that’s the post.

[kolechiagears]

I don't have any idea how to make a nice looking welcome/intro for my blog, but i'd like people to know who they are interacting with!

. . . ☎ Ring ring ringgggg

☆ Hi hi hello my names Kolechia or Kole for short ☆

★ My birthday is 25 August, I'm a minor, ANFP 6w5 and from Scotland !

☆ ENG/DE/SE/GAEL ☆

★ I have ADHD, OCD and Paranoia medically recognised (+ suspected autism). Please try to be patient when conversing /w me!

☆ I'm agender and pansexual, I prefer when people only refer to me by my name (no pronouns) - but they/them is completely OK! ☆

★ I draw here, and I post it here. I post doodles I don't want to share here on twitter. I also shitpost a ton on there and share random thoughts. I mainly draw characters by Arcadekitten, DSaF, or Dialtown characters! ♡

Interests

★ I have a LOT. Minecraft, Stardew Valley, Papers Please, Terraria, Rick and Morty, Southpark, SCP, DDLC, Pico School, FNF, No. 6, Sasaki And Miyano, etc..

☆ Music-wise, Will Wood, Will Stetson, Weezer (saw in june..), YonKaGor, Atsuover, The Smashing Pumpkins (also saw in june..), Frank Sinatra etc! i enjoy jazz indie and swing arrangements! ☆

★ Long term interests: Five Nights at Freddy's (2016), Dayshift at Freddy's (2018), Five Nights of Flirting (2021), A Hat in Time (2018), Genshin Impact (7.17.21), YoKai Watch (2014), Splatoon (2017)

☆ Special interests: One Piece, The Nightmare Before Christmas, rocks/crystals, playing cards, collecting figures (41 as of right now), Haikaveh ☆

Extra info

♡ Basic DNI stuff, Proshitters, Endo systems, Drake, NSFW, ISNOTREAL supporters, Urbanslug/UrbanSPOOK supporters (he made merch off of CSA victims and shitted on victims of it publicly along with ableism of autistic and individuals with down syndrome)

☆ i really enjoy meeting new people! If you wanna introduce yourself to me, or others, you're fully allowed to!

♢ I'm an irl ! if you're curious on them, ask!

☆ I do requests (for free, unpaid) - if you want more info, click here. Please read my guidelines and "Unorganized extra info" before requesting anything!

★ If you wanna message me for whatever reason, message me here, my tweetor, or Discord which is vinssolar

ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ i like cats :)

★ Random fact: I played Into the Pit for 16 hours the first day of release

→ Cat art at the top is by @/psipaka on Tumblr & Pinterest

[deltaruminations]

The Man in the Motif: A Character Analysis of W.D. Gaster via Music

“Sing us a song, you’re the mystery man… sing us a song if you please… ‘cause we’re all in the mood for a broken chord, and you’ve got us feeling unease…”

here’s the Big Dumb Music Post lmao

A couple things:

Most of what comes after the cut is written like an actual essay and not a shitpost i promise

This is more Synthesis and Subjective Reading of Extant Material than speculative theorycraft

I mostly wrote this for fun & because I’d never seen anyone lay out an analysis for our boy G like this before. I don’t think it’s like Revolutionary it’s mostly just me talking a lot about a special interest lol

I get the sense that a lot of people may have already picked up on a lot of this stuff and it might just be my alexithymic ass that needs heady analysis like this to understand subtle emotional cues. That’s to say: IDK how much New Stuff is being presented here for any given reader but it might still add value to that existing understanding I Guess

I’m not trying to assert that Toby Fox consciously intended to convey everything that I’m pulling out of this stuff lol

OK HERE WE GO!!!!!

Contents

To quickly access a given section, just search for it by its leading flag ([#XXX])

[#001] mus_st_him.ogg (Gaster’s Theme)

[#002] ANOTHER HIM

[#002-A] A Brief Tangent on Giygas

[#003] File Select & Game Over ambience

[#004] Darkness Falls

[#005] man.ogg (Tree Room)

[#005-A] A Brief Tangent on Seccom Masada-sensei

[#006] Takeaways

Undertale and Deltarune use leitmotif to a wide variety of ends in shaping players’ experience of their stories. Because music is understood emotionally and interpretively, a single song can function to convey several simultaneous ideas about characters, places, and/or themes, and may be understood to have multiple layers of meaning.

Gaster’s leitmotif in particular is notorious for its tendency to be heard by fans everywhere in Undertale and Deltarune’s soundtracks, regardless of the actual intentionality of its use. Due to the brief and generic nature of the sequence, there’s a distinct possibility that this ambiguity was engineered into it, possibly as a way to influence players’ perceptions by implying that he’s secretly ever-present and ever-watching, and/or to convey something about Gaster himself, such as dispersion of his consciousness or memories.

Aside from the previous point, there are a few instances in Deltarune’s soundtrack in which its use is either explicit or, at the very least, somewhat less ambiguous. This discussion will focus on the former cases, specifically tracks that play in the scenes in which we interact with the man himself. I’ll cover this in roughly the order that I believe a typical player would experience them for the first time.

Most of these sections will be Very Roughly divided into:

Informal analysis (I Do Not Know Music Theory I Am Just A Guy With Abled Ears) of choices made in the song itself

Subjective analysis of what emotions or associations the song might be evoking

Interpretation of what any of that could mean about Gaster Our Good Friend Gaster

Discussion of in-game context wherever I think it's interesting lol

Because my formal knowledge on music composition is very limited, and also because I’m no longer hearing these songs fresh and untainted by Lore Obsession Disease, I had my partner (a musician who knows nothing about UTDR or this character) give his opinions on these songs as well. While I don’t think a formal background is a prerequisite for this kind of subjective analysis (as these soundtracks are designed to communicate with a broad audience, not just with musicians), it of course allows for further insight. I’ll refer to him from here on as my “research assistant” because I think it’s funny.

I first had him listen to the tracks listed here out-of-context and give me his thoughts on what they communicated to him about the character or scene. I then gave him some context for each song, the story, and the character, and we discussed whether that context brought further interpretation. It turned out his basic interpretations closely aligned with mine, with the addition of some really cool observations that would’ve never occurred to me on my own. This discussion will reflect his opinions & observations as well. Huge thanks to him!

With that in mind, I’m going to use the word “melody” and other such Music Words pretty loosely throughout this sorry. I tried my best to respect the Terminology but im just a fucking dude ok

[#001] mus_st_him.ogg (Gaster’s Theme)

We must, of course, begin with mus_st_him.ogg (Gaster’s Theme), which establishes his leitmotif (or at least, the only confirmed part of it; whether or not there’s a B part to the leitmotif is currently unknown, though I‘ve seen some interesting speculation about that). Assuming that Deltarune players experienced Undertale first (as Toby Fox seems to have intended), this will have been the first instance of Gaster’s leitmotif ever encountered, and it’s the front line for evaluating his character.

Found only through a Fun event, in Undertale’s “Sound Test” room, this is presented as less of a song and more of a demo or reference sequence. As we move on to other tracks, I’ll consider this track the platonic ideal and use it as a point of comparison.

One brief note is that the filename itself does not explicitly assign this track to Gaster, but rather to “him.” It’s the Sound Test UI that puts his name on it. Whether or not there’s significance to this is currently unclear.

(I think there may be something in common between the friendly “voice” that thanks us for our feedback in the Sound Test room and Deltarune’s out-of-universe UI text after closing the fountain in Deltarune chapter 1, but I don’t have any idea what, if anything, that means right now.)

Precedents established

Since this is the base motif, I think it’s worthwhile to mention how the song is structured on paper. Since I’m no Theory Guy, I’ll refer you to Tumblr user notesanddreams’s technical analysis of what he calls the “Gaster Sequence,” which is a name I like a lot and am going to use moving forward.

To quote him:

It’s a pretty simple four bar loop. The melody, which everyone I know has taken to calling “the Gaster motif,” is a four note sequence that goes “starting note -> up a minor second (half step) -> up a perfect fifth -> back down a perfect fifth.” This is played four times before modulating down a half step and looping….

There’s simply not enough musical information in the track to discern a tonal center, and therefore any attempts to give it a key signature are futile. This gives the sequence a very mysterious and unsettling nature, but its vagueness allows it to be applied to certain tracks in the Deltarune OST very subtly at times.

While it’s distorted, this song seems to be played on an unaccompanied piano. This establishes an association between Gaster and that instrumentation (as we’ll see reinforced later), as well as with sounds of distortion & modulation, dissonance, and “noise.”

These two factors combined may be things to consider alongside the leitmotif when determining whether a song or part of a song should be considered to offer direct descriptions of Gaster (as opposed to containing a more abstract reference to him, or instead being referential to or descriptive of another character associated with piano, such as Kris).

Emotional perspective

Gaster’s Theme is anxiety-inducing. It builds up endlessly but never resolves. It is not musical; it lacks anything recognizable as motion or melody, which in turn causes it to lack anything immediately recognizable as personality, or emotion, or backstory. It’s a song that betrays no motivations or values, leaving us to fill in the blanks on our own.

The minor key and dissonance could easily be experienced as sinister, playing on our fear and mistrust of the unknown. If the truth is out there, it doesn’t seem to be pleasant. If we continue to seek it out, who knows what could become of us, or what we could unleash upon the world?

The Sound Test UI itself is bizarre and mysterious. Why does it thank us for our “feedback” after hearing Gaster’s Theme? What input or feedback did we provide?

Characterization perspective

We could take this theme on its own to suggest that Gaster is characterized by duality, tension, and emotional detachment and/or reservation.

The rising tones in each bar evoke thought and ideation, approaching a point before dropping down to approach another. The endless, moderately-paced loop of shifting, yet internally consistent, sets resembles a careful dialectic that never reaches resolution.

We could interpret this as the sound of an analytical mind aware of many options and possibilities, but never ultimately delineating the truth between them (my research assistant specifically described this track as being “locked into itself”). We could also take it less literally to signify a reversal of opinion or understanding in general – not necessarily that decisions are never made, but they’re reached through heady deliberation and obsessively re-examined after they’re made.

While the motif betrays internal tension, it’s also highly ordered and consistent, lacking any spontaneity. This can be taken to mean that Gaster is cautious, deliberate, and reserved. For all the neurosis it conveys, it still comes off as fairly confident, as though Gaster is simply used to this and doesn’t tend to question it.

We could also possibly infer that other characters experienced Gaster in much the same way as we do – they may have found him unsettling and hard to read. 

As mentioned before, it’s unknown whether other parts to this motif exist or are planned to exist. If they do exist, then the fact that only the A(?) part has been presented as “Gaster’s Theme” would underscore the one-sidedness of his presentation in Undertale, as well as a possible tendency of Gaster’s to hide parts of himself.

(EXTREMELY speculative, so please don’t take this too seriously, but: I’ve seen at least a handful of fans raise the possibility that at least some part of the Secret Boss (“Freedom”) motif may be a B/C part of Gaster’s motif. If Gaster is trying to obfuscate any involvement with Secret Boss characters, using his metaphysical resources to hide obvious musical associations with them (i.e., by labeling only this part of the motif as his “theme” in the Sound Test) would certainly be a clever way to do so.)

[#002] ANOTHER HIM

The first true application of the Gaster Sequence a player will experience is also the very first song heard in Deltarune: ANOTHER HIM, which plays during the Introduction (also known as the Survey or “GONERMAKER”).

This is another instance of Gaster being referred to as “him” in the metadata rather than by name. The specific phrasing of “ANOTHER HIM” seems referential to Undertale Players’ knowledge of him, and could be taken to suggest that this is a separate instance or at least “piece” of the character described in that game. Alternatively, this could indicate the same character being presented from another perspective, and/or the same continuity of that character who’s no longer recognizable as the same person for one reason or another.

Musical analysis

This track is, of course, a direct quote of the entire Gaster Sequence isolated from any other motifs. Its main developments are a slight modification to the rhythm of the Sequence and the addition of other instruments and background ambience – this is actually the only song in the scope of this document in which the motif itself is heard accompanied (while Darkness Falls also contains other instrumentation, it occurs during an instance of a different motif). We again hear the Sequence played on piano.

When my research assistant first heard this song without context he paused it after about 5 seconds and proceeded to tell me all about Paul stretching and how it can be used to create the type of ethereal ambience heard in this track. One thing he noted is that this algorithm allows for stretching a sample while keeping it in-key, without adding dissonance. I should be clear that I have no idea if this exact technique was used here, only that it seems to have achieved a very similar effect.

So, what is the sample being stretched (in some way or another) to create that ambient noise? When we reversed the stretch, we found it to be none other than one of Giygas’s instruments from EarthBound. This has been identified by other fans as a sample of the track Giygas’s Intimidation.

[#001-A] A Brief Tangent on Giygas

I want to be careful about suggesting too much from musical samples & references, since UTDR are known to make extensive use of samples and soundfonts from other works, especially from EarthBound (as well as reworked versions of Toby Fox’s own music from other projects). Like, I don’t think Toby was trying to Say Anything in particular when he used the “WOW!” from Earthbound’s intro sequence in Spamton’s battle themes except “EarthBound is very special to me and that sound design choice they made was really memorable and I think it sounds really fun here.”

That in mind, UTDR fans have been intuitively connecting Gaster and Giygas for years based on superficial similarities and the known influence of EarthBound alone. Given Gaster’s unique existence in metanarrative, the specificity and consistency of the references associated with him, as well as the potential thematic relevance of this reference (and the one to follow in section [#005-A]), I do think it may be fair game to consider them in these cases. I’m going to throw out a couple of things:

The use of samples from Earthbound, specifically ones related to Giygas, draws yet another thematic connection between Gaster and Undertale’s True Lab and possible parallels to Alphys, suggesting this connection is relevant to Deltarune. Memoryhead itself bears resemblance to Giygas. (also wait what there’s parallel harmony in Amalgam?? holy shit???)

Giygas is a character who, when encountered in Earthbound, has been driven to a state of eldritch, cosmic horror by trauma & grief. His backstory as Giegue, told in the previous game Mother, includes themes of pursuing knowledge despite knowing of the dangers, of betrayal, and of guilt over well-intentioned harm, specifically harm done while under some form of external influence. The Giygas of EarthBound, in his madness, exerts violent influence over animals and people, including Porky, a troubled child who Giygas compels to serve him.

Throughout the fight, Giygas expresses his internal conflict, lashing out seemingly not due to malice but rather uncontrolled emotion. Defeating Giygas requires first that the character Paula “Pray,” or call out for strength from the party’s families and the people they’ve helped along their journey, until there are no more characters left to reach; Paula’s “call” becomes unheard, “absorbed by the darkness.” Then, finally, she begs the player themself to “PRAY” for the party – the “kids” they’ve never met before – dealing the final necessary blows in the process.

Gaster & Giygas are both unpleasant sounding two-syllable G names LOL this is stupid sorry

Obviously, I don’t anticipate a 1:1 resemblance between Gaster’s and Giygas’s stories, but there could be thematic parallels worth considering. There is one thing, however, that I find interesting in the context of this song in particular: in inviting us to this “Survey,” Gaster seems to have called out to us in the same way that Paula did, praying to us for help – perhaps, more specifically, to help the kids of Deltarune who we have yet (at this point in the game) to meet.

Emotional perspective

ANOTHER HIM opens with a distorted ambience, evocative of murmuring, choral voice, rolling thunder, and perhaps the crackling whips of a Tesla coil. This ambience ebbs and flows in intensity, occasionally seeming to thrash and writhe. Just before the Sequence itself starts, and then throughout it, we hear what seem to be longing strings, and underlying the piano is a steady, understated percussion.

In contrast to the distorted fuzz of mus_st_him.ogg, the piano used here is crisp, with only a limited echo applied to it. While not unaccompanied, this piano still feels exposed and small, especially against the faint instrumentation and ambience churning below it. The high, bell-like keys feel bright and hopeful. At the same time, the slow, halting tempo suggests trepidation.

Where the base Sequence marches steadily through its dialectic without deviation or hesitation, ANOTHER HIM’s arrangement pauses at the height of each thought, as if considering it more carefully, before dropping back down to the next. After the first two sets switch off normally, the melody then proceeds to rise steadily, as though finally grasping at a revelation; after reaching an apex, it then pauses, collecting itself, before looping over again. Isolated from the ambience, this arrangement sounds contemplative and searching, in contrast to the neurotic dialogue of the base Sequence.

The backing ambience sounds ethereal and spacey, but not noticeably dissonant. It doesn’t necessarily lend the same eeriness of mus_st_him.ogg’s distortion, but the low, slow murmuring and even occasional lashing of the “voices” in the background still betray an undercurrent of unease & tension.

When my research assistant heard the songs mus_st_him.ogg, ANOTHER HIM, and Darkness Falls without context, in the order presented here, he read them as a developing narrative. He felt that this piece, compared to the base theme, added “motion” in the form of a steady rise and fall. He then said, “What I would want next, if this were one piece, is melody. I’m still waiting for that next part.” While it takes more time to breathe, ANOTHER HIM still never approaches resolution.

He also likened the emotional experience of this song to Gregorian or hymnal chanting – less so the literal style of music, but rather the use of reverberation in that musical form to create a full, choral sound from only a few individual voices.

Characterization perspective

The overwhelming sense I get from ANOTHER HIM is one of vulnerability, introspection, and dishevelment, as well as cautious deliberation. It also conveys a certain amount of hope and possibly curiosity, though these are muted in comparison to the hesitance and turmoil.

Compared to what we “see” of him in mus_st_him.ogg, Gaster seems to be far less self-assured in his dialectical thinking. He’s breaking from his traditional pattern of rumination and attempting to reach for some form of personal truth. The cautiousness could also be taken to convey unease or skepticism about the situation at hand, about the probability of success in achieving the “NEW FUTURE,” or even about the Player themself.

As far as the background ambience, its most obvious function is to convey the ethereality of incorporeal, out-of-universe existence, its ebbing and twisting reflecting the shapelessness of a disembodied consciousness. It could even be considered diegetic – as if it is the sound of his state of being, or of this strange, extraplanar space beyond the event horizon.

The ambience could also be taken to convey emotional information, though its separation from the “conscious thought” of the motif could imply many things (as we’ll discuss later in [#004], we have an example within the same chapter of the motif conveying quite a bit of emotionality in itself).

If we take this angle, then it could suggest that Gaster is not integrating emotionality with rational thought, but is at least possibly acknowledging that emotionality — or it’s built up to a point where it can no longer be fully contained or ignored. We could interpret the pauses in the motif as Gaster listening to or meditating on these “voices” – or becoming momentarily overwhelmed by them.

From this perspective, it’s clear that this emotional state is confusing and volatile; the dialogue happening on this level is not nearly as orderly or civil as that heard in the motif. The “lashing” sounds could be taken as flashes of pain; their violence could suggest bad memories, self-criticism, shame, or regret, among other possibilities.

I also think the choice of a percussive “heartbeat” is quite interesting. While not rapid, it could possibly suggest anxiety, as though his heart is pounding. It also suggests intimacy, which in turn requires a certain level of trust – he has allowed us close enough to hear that heartbeat at all, whether or not it’s comfortable for him, or he feels confident that it’s a good idea for him to do so.

Despite this piling on of confusion and unease, the relative clarity and brightness of the motif’s piano seems to twinkle faintly in the dark. This sense of hope gives us something to latch onto amidst the tumult, and that may be true of the character as well. We could read this as a hope that is worth enduring the doubt, the humbling, and the possibility of pain.

The song in context

ANOTHER HIM’s hesitation and vulnerability strikes an interesting contrast with Gaster’s dialogue throughout the Survey sequence. Aside from a very small number of seemingly spontaneous reactions, Gaster in his dialogue – in his intended self-presentation – comes off as unfailingly polite, professional, confident, and generally neutral.

While we needn’t assume that this self-presentation, or the opinions he does express, are insincere, we can still infer that whatever the reality is of his internal state, Gaster is making a concerted effort to keep that information hidden from us. There are obvious practical reasons for this: to maintain the integrity of his study, he needs to minimize his biasing of our behavior.

That said, we could certainly read personal factors into this as well. From Gaster’s POV, the Player possesses a tremendous amount of metaphysical knowledge and ability. Whether or not he has difficulties with trust in general, Gaster certainly has reasons to be very wary of us, something I’ll discuss further in the next section.

The content of the sequence itself (text, background, etc.) warrants its own analysis. I’ll probably do one at like, idk some point probably

[#003] File Select (& Game Over) ambience

While it doesn’t really constitute a “song,” I think it’s worthwhile to look briefly at the sound design in the File Select and Game Over UIs, since they’re still among the very few instances of “face-to-face” interaction we have with the man of the hour. Note that this doesn’t include Darkness Falls, which plays after a certain choice is made at a game over – the next section will discuss that. Because this section covers sound design choices moreso than musical ones, I’ll eschew the format of the other sections and simply analyze these choices in-context.

This is the one section of audio I didn’t review with my research assistant, so you’re just getting my unmoderated opinions here, unfortunately.

For the better part of the game (so far), the File Select screen generally looks and feels the way a Player would expect from an RPG UI, with illustrations, friendly help text, and narrative music:

Post-completion Chapter 1 File Select (Before the Story)

Chapter 2 File Select (Faint Glow)

Similarly, the chapter 2 (or, rather, the post-ch1-completion) Game Over screen displays a genre-appropriate graphic, includes a message of encouragement (or, perhaps more accurately, a plea for Kris to survive) from Kris’s party members, and plays the song Faint Courage.

These File Select & Game Over screens are potentially extremely lore-rich in and of themselves (some of this will come up in the next section), but with regard to this particular discussion, I’m mostly interested in the stark contrast they present when compared to the pre-completion Chapter 1 screens.

Before chapter 1’s completion, when Gaster is strongly implied to be narrating (and possibly facilitating) the Player’s SAVE data manipulation and game over choices, the soundtrack for both screens is profoundly barren.

There’s no “song,” no melody, only an identical low, looping drone for both screens. We know that there can be music here, even very emotional music, and we feel like there probably should be. And yet, there isn’t. This makes these screens feel empty, ominous, and cold, underscoring their dark, ascetic visuals.

I think the fact that so little is being said here is in itself very, very interesting. We know that we aren’t actually alone on these screens; our friendly facilitator is here with us. We also know from the other examples in this document that Deltarune’s Gaster is not inherently associated with a lack of music, nor (as we’ll see in the next song) a lack of emotion in melody. Why is it only in this particular context – when the Player approaches these existential crossroads – that the music disappears entirely?

The File Select screen on its own doesn’t give us a whole lot to work with. While the dialogue here is certainly unsettling (even compared to Gaster’s clinical speech in other scenes) and warrants its own discussion, it still isn’t entirely clear why file manipulation should sound like this.

In the Game Over screen, however, we can start to make inferences. Game Overs are when Gaster’s plans are at the most risk – they’re when a Player is most likely to opt out of the study and never return, leaving Deltarune’s future as-is and any hope of a “NEW FUTURE” unfulfilled.

With that in mind, I think this drone conveys emotional shutdown. Gaster is still there – the drone is his presence, as though he’s trying to keep his breathing slow and measured as he speaks with us – but whatever is happening with him internally, he’s either working hard enough to succeed in hiding it from us, or it’s so overwhelming that he himself can’t even acknowledge it.

What that internal experience could be is anyone’s guess. Personally, I think he’s deeply afraid.

When Gaster seems to panic upon seeing his own name in the Survey, he can simply exit the situation and prevent the Player from making that choice. He can’t, however, prevent us from exiting the game – whether or not he had the power to do so (and he of course doesn’t), doing so would be meddling in the experiment, it’d be a breach of participant consent, and it’d potentially undermine whatever uneasy trust the Player has developed with him. In these moments, he’s entirely at the Player’s mercy.

(Note: this last video shows the game exiting after the creator is named “GASTER.” As of Chapter 2’s release, naming either vessel or creator “GASTER” causes the game to return to the chapter select, rather than exiting.)

Since the same drone plays on the File Select screen, we can infer he’s shut down there as well. It still isn’t as clear what about SAVE manipulation would cause such a strong response, and there are many ways this could be interpreted. It’s worth noting that we don’t currently know whether Gaster is the one executing those actions, or if he’s simply giving us guidance and warnings as we execute them ourselves. More broadly, we don’t know whether Gaster is capable of executing these actions at all.

For right now, my best guess – and I want to be clear that I don’t feel confident this is correct – is that SAVE manipulation is the first obvious indication to both us and to Gaster that he’s willing to accept some amount of “necessary evil” in pursuit of his plans. Based on the seemingly unprecedented gravity of his tone and diction on this screen (especially around erasing SAVEs), this may be when Gaster first recognizes, fully, just how much power he’s entrusted to a Player, how irresponsible it may have been for him to do so, and he is again deeply afraid – this time, not just of us, but of himself.

[#004] Darkness Falls

(This is the song I wrote that post about, that a lot of people seemed to like, which was very cool! But also it was meant more as a throwaway vent post than an actual analysis and was worded kind of strongly/reductively in part because I didn’t expect anyone to actually see it lol. anyway this will reiterate a lot of those thoughts but with A LOT more detail and nuance, possibly more than is necessary lol)

(Quick kudos again to the user who pointed out details about Faint Courage and its relationship to Kris on the Post People Liked. I hadn’t even begun to think through that part of the song when I made the post. It helped a lot with this!)

(Wait one more note: I’d previously thought this sequence only happened in pre-completion Chapter 1, when Gaster was actively present in the UI, but apparently this still happens as of Chapter 2?? The guy just crawls out of the woodwork specifically to narrate our ending and see us off I Guess. I do not have any particularly strong opinions at the moment about what this could Mean because I don’t generally have strong opinions about why he disappeared in the first place except IDK We Got The Hang Of The Game So He Switched On The Normal UI And Now He’s Just Observing Quietly And Taking Notes And Also Waving From Cars And Egg I GUess but anyway I thought I’d point it out because I got it wrong before)

(Oh btw if God kills you it just bypasses the normal screens entirely and returns you to a checkpoint. this detail doesnt mean anything it was obviously implemented for mechanical/joke reasons I just think it’s funny. like even Gaster is just sitting there like ?????? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. sorry moving on now)

Darkness Falls is only heard after saying “No” at a Game Over. As previously discussed, Game Overs in chapter 1 (pre-completion) feature the Emotional Shutdown Drone™, while post-ch1-completion Game Overs feature the song Faint Courage. Upon refusing to continue, whatever audio is present cuts out entirely, leaving complete silence as Gaster narrates our ending. Immediately after that text cuts out, Darkness Falls begins to play.

While a Player could encounter this before the File Select or after seeing the Tree Room, it felt most logical to me to order it like this for Reasons. Based on both my own experience and that of some other people who responded to the Post People Liked, it seems like a lot of Players, even ones who know about the Tree Rooms, just end up never saying “No” and seeing it at all.

This is the only track in this document’s scope in which the Gaster Sequence occurs alongside another leitmotif: the one found in Faint Courage, the song played in the aforementioned post-ch1-completion Game Over screen (I’ll simply refer to this second motif as Faint Courage from here on).

For the sake of this analysis, I’m only considering the Gaster Sequence part of the song (roughly 0:00 - 0:33) to be directly descriptive of the man himself, as we have good reasons to believe the second motif is specifically saying something about Kris. That’s to say: any character traits being suggested by Faint Courage will be assumed to describe Kris, not Gaster.

However, I’ll still discuss the song as a whole where it makes sense to do so, including consideration of what it could be saying about Gaster’s perspective on Kris, on the moment in which it’s found, or on the broader narrative.

Musical analysis

In an unusual break from precedent, the Gaster Sequence isn’t hidden by or within the other leitmotif featured in this track. Instead, we hear an unaccompanied piano arrangement of the Sequence that then leads into Faint Courage, played on the same piano but now accompanied, and with more instruments gradually added. Each motif takes up roughly half the song’s length, though the latter is slightly longer.

Much like the piano heard in ANOTHER HIM, the keys played during the Sequence have a moderate reverberation applied to them, but are otherwise fairly clear & crisp. Notably, this reverberation still continues after the shift into Faint Courage, as if the previous motif has shifted into a background, supporting role for the next one.

The arrangement of the Gaster Sequence heard here deviates the most by far from the original mold, to the degree that it’d be easy to miss it as an instance of that theme at all. Viewed side by side, the difference is stark. Someone who actually Knows Theory could probably describe it more eloquently than I can, but I’ll do my best to fumble through this with my untrained ear and the input of my research assistant.

This arrangement of the Sequence doesn’t do away with the back-and-forth of the base theme, but the dialogue heard here begs, grasps, and searches, seeming to have no pretense of self-assuredness or strict, rational confidence. It seems more grounded in the fact that this internal conversation really has only one, contiguous “speaker,” as each even-numbered set of bars picks up directly from the set before it, rather than there being a sharp drop between them.

The “speaker’s” opening comment, which begins on a chord, rises like a choking cry or plea, before they seem to attempt rationalization. Unable to answer in kind, searching for something to say but having nothing to meaningfully offer, they volley back on a higher note, as though presenting themself another question. The “speaker” then repeats the same sorrowful, confused entreaty from before – but this time, they continue from that cry to reach toward something, pause as though approaching rest, and then decide there’s something more to say – something entirely different.

Referring back to the “narrative development” reading proposed by my research assistant (first brought up in section [#002]): when my assistant first heard this song without context, he almost immediately stopped the track and said “that, right there, is melody!” He described the addition of a tonal center as making the difference between “color” and “meaning” – ANOTHER HIM adds interest to the base Sequence, but it’s still difficult to find an emotional foothold in it. It’s difficult to parse. Darkness Falls, on the other hand, has obvious musicality. It’s immediately relatable. It’s generally pleasant.

He spent some time discussing the chords found in this arrangement of the Sequence, describing the very deliberate placement of these chords as being its own melodic line of sorts, “going through its own motion, its own process.” He described the pattern as being roughly “harmony, then dissonance, then a stretch of time, then dissonance.” He noted that the one tonic he could identify in this Sequence was just before the turn into Faint Courage.

With this in mind, we could say that the instance of the Sequence heard in Darkness Falls, in contrast to that heard in every other song covered in this document, reaches its own internal resolution. That tonic, leading into the turn, could be read as a choice finally being made.

My research assistant also pulled out a “hero’s journey” narrative from this song. The first half, the Gaster Sequence, continues its push and pull of dialogue and tension, establishing the sense of a problem needing to be solved; while the second half, Faint Courage, approaches that problem with playful curiosity, possibility, and hope, before developing into a heroism heralded by nostalgic, Zelda-like synths, and ending on a literal high note. He noted that this type of narrative is common in ending themes for games, serving as a reflection of the story just completed.

Emotional perspective

The immediate motivator for me to write the Post People Liked was because I’d pulled up Darkness Falls on YouTube (for this analysis lol) and among the video’s top comments was someone saying, more or less, “Boy! It sure is weird that Gaster’s Theme shows up so obviously in this beautiful, moving song!” This was one among many, many comments I’d seen over time across various platforms expressing the same thought.

This confusion is perfectly understandable. As I’ve expressed in several ways in this document and elsewhere, the idea of the Gaster Sequence being arranged in a way that is, in itself, obviously moving – immediately, viscerally moving without any need for the kind of reaching overanalysis I’m doing here – is wholly unprecedented in either Undertale or Deltarune. As I mentioned in the Post People Liked, we’ve been conditioned to view Gaster as anything but another character, and that may be its own form of characterization. And, like I said before, the degree of deviation heard here is so great that many players will likely miss it entirely if they aren’t paying attention or don’t know what to listen for.

That said, it’s very obvious that this arrangement of the motif sounds distinctly loose and emotional. The first half is sorrowful, but its internal development also conveys curiosity and open-heartedness. The heroism of the second half conveys a distinct sense of hope, or at least, satisfaction.

I think it’s worth noting here that, when I initially showed my research assistant the scene in which this song is found, after he’d previously heard the song out of context, his immediate impression was that it felt ironic and mocking, as though the game – maybe even Gaster himself – was deriding the Player for not persisting further. I think this impression makes sense. It’s one that I’ve experienced myself, and based on comments I’ve seen, it certainly seems to be the impression many Players walk away from the first two chapters with.

After a little more discussion, specifically after I presented the idea of Deltarune’s One Ending, and the idea that this ending is likely the “default” ending – the one Gaster knows will happen and seems to be hoping to change – my research assistant felt the song conveyed sincere acceptance. In his words: “whatever ending the player gets, it was heroic that they even tried.”

Characterization perspective

In reference to the idea of this ending theme being ironic or cynical, I think there’s something to be said for the possibility that Gaster’s habitual masking and/or intrinsic propensity for interpersonal oddness leads to others disregarding his sincerity or misinterpreting it as malice. We could argue that this is a trait indicated in a number of other ways beyond this song.

The reverberation of the keys during the Sequence of course recalls the ethereality of Gaster’s extraplanar existence. The fact that the reverberation continues into Faint Courage, combined with the placement of the tonic just before the shift, could be taken to represent a decision by Gaster to take a background role in Kris’s narrative.

Something interesting to consider from that: if the choice was made to take a background role, then what other options were being weighed in the previous dialectics? Does this imply that Gaster has considered more active roles in the past? (Could it be the case that he’s previously taken them, and the outcomes of those past decisions have influenced this latest choice? Is passivity really the best choice he could make here, or is he actually just transferring responsibility? Does he simply not trust himself to do the right thing if given the chance? Sorry this is getting really speculative LOL moving on)

As a number of users mentioned, the inclusion of Faint Courage could be an indication that Gaster is not only mourning the potential loss of the Player and with them, the “NEW FUTURE,” but the potential permanence of Kris’s death in particular. This reading suggests that Gaster feels a great deal of tenderness toward Kris themself; given what we’ve seen of Gaster thus far in this document, it wouldn’t be hard to infer reasons for why he might be especially fond of a misfit kid with self-esteem issues and interpersonal difficulties. (Assuming, of course, that these troubles aren’t directly related to their situation with the Player. Personally, I like to think that the more troubled aspects of Kris’s character are, for the most part, just as true to their real personality as their more “acceptable” or likable aspects are – attributing too much of their struggle to outside influences feels like an undermining of their agency. But I do feel it’s still worthwhile to acknowledge other possibilities, or at least the potential nuance they offer.)

The relationship between Gaster and Kris is absolutely something that warrants further examination as the story continues. While this song (and to a certain degree, the next one) seem to suggest a fair amount of good intent and even tenderness on the part of Gaster toward Kris, there’s certainly still room for complexity and tension on Kris’s part.

The song in context

In a typical game, we’d expect to be returned to a title screen or menu right after choosing not to continue. Deltarune instead gives us Gaster’s narration, then leaves us on a black screen for the roughly one-minute duration of Darkness Falls, before it closes the game window on its own. That begs the question of why the game lingers here on this song in the way it does.

In a metanarrative sense, I think there’s validity to the idea that this choice was made to reinforce that we reached “an end” – not just a game over, but the “default” ending or One Ending to the game, in which the world is covered in darkness. As mentioned before, Darkness Falls sounds to a degree like an end credits song. The game closes because that’s what typically happens after the end – we leave the game.

As far as narrative or character interpretation goes, we do know that (pre-ch1-completion, at least) Gaster is our facilitator out-of-universe in Deltarune from its start to its finish. We have reason to believe that he has control over the screens we’re on (given that he can exit us back to title). We can infer that he would be the one to redirect us to the menu.

We have no reason to think that, just because Gaster’s narration has left the screen, he’s suddenly ceased to be present when Darkness Falls plays. The fact that it starts with his Sequence seems to imply his continued presence. We can infer that he’s the one keeping us here through the song, and the one who finally closes the game.

Maybe he keeps us here because he feels he owes us our ending song – and maybe this song is an expression of what he’s thinking and feeling in that moment.

To reiterate my reading from the Post People Liked: Gaster describes our ending, and then he has nothing left to say. We said “no,” and he can’t violate our consent as participants, but he can’t bear to let us go just yet. His “NEW FUTURE” is in the balance, Kris’s life is in the balance, and on top of that, we can’t deny that the man is probably just lonely.

So, we’re left alone in the dark with him, and for the first time, we “see” him entirely exposed – no confident, clinical dialogue, no choices to make, no spr_mysteryman, no True Lab fog or trees for him to hide behind. We sit there with him as he works quietly through the situation – perhaps even entreating us to come back and try again later – and when Darkness Falls ends, when he finally reaches some form of acceptance, he decides he can’t keep us there any longer, and closes the game.

[#005] man.ogg (Tree Room)

man.ogg is the track that plays in the secret Tree Room, and is notably not found on the original Deltarune OSTs thus far. While a first-time player could technically experience this track before the previous two discussed, most players going in blind won’t learn about the secret room until after their first playthrough, or potentially until chapter 2.

I know there’s some debate in the fanbase over whether or not Gaster is the unseen (at least to the Player) man encountered in the Tree Room and elsewhere. Aside from the arguable use of his motif in this song, which I’ll get to in a moment, I think there are other context clues indicating that he’s intended to be representative of Gaster in some way:

Gaster, in particular, seems to never be referred to by name except when being referred to by the “followers” or the Sound Test UI. The reasons for this could be metanarrative (to maintain the mystery around him) or narrative (to indicate that Gaster has distanced himself from his name, for whatever reason).

Precedent from Undertale associates Gaster with the word “man,” specifically unmodified instances.

Aside from spr_mysteryman and the possible relevance of Memoryhead and its attacks, UTDR never represent Gaster as a sprite visible to players. After all, as far as we’re aware, he no longer has a physical form for us to see. The fact that Deltarune’s Man is always hidden from our view feels like a clear nod to this.

Musical analysis

man.ogg is a brief, unaccompanied piano piece, seemingly a waltz (fan-arranged sheet music for reference – I’m a big fan of the tone descriptor “surreptitious yet jocular”).

While it’s subtle, it can arguably be read as a variation of the Gaster Sequence. Gaster Theme Everywhere Skeptic Matthew Sandstrom describes this variation as a “Garbled Gaster”:

The melody and rhythm are somewhat garbled, but the right notes are there, even if the order is wrong.

He identifies two other tracks in chapter 1 that seem to use this same Garbled Gaster motif: April 2012 and, VERY, VERY INTERESTINGLY, THE HOLY. I won’t be getting into those tracks here, but I think it’s worth pointing out that a distinct “Man” motif might be an ongoing thing to look out for.

For what it’s worth, my research assistant also felt that man.ogg was likely an intentional variation on the Gaster Sequence. His justification included the thought that the motif could largely be boiled down to the “top two notes.” Make of that what you will.

I won’t worry too much about comparing this directly to mus_st_him.ogg as I have with other tracks in this document, since it seems to be almost a new motif in itself. The fact that “the right notes are there” but the “order is wrong” is worth considering, though – it’s the same Sequence in an almost unrecognizable form. It’s no longer a dialectic, but a partnered dance. Keeping with precedent, there’s also a very subtle, almost imperceptible echo applied to it.

As a final note, man.ogg is actually not an entirely new track – it’s been identified as a rework of a fan song (“Waltz of Seccom Masada”) made by Toby Fox for the game Yume Nikki (“Dream Diary”). Specifically, it’s a theme he wrote for the character known to Yume Nikki fans as Seccom Masada-sensei.

[#005-A] A Brief Tangent on Seccom Masada-sensei

As I mentioned in the previous tangent ([#001-A]), I want to be careful about suggesting too much from reworked tracks that were meant for or made in reference to other projects. After all, MEGALOVANIA isn’t meant to suggest that Sans is ascending to God Tier or likes saying swears. (It’s worth noting that the aforementioned April 2012, which seems to use the Man motif, is also a rework of an unreleased Homestuck track.)

However, much like with Giygas, the connections between Gaster and Uboa have been intuitively obvious since the first Fun event investigations on Starmen.net. (Toby Fox literally used a slightly edited Uboa for Dr. Andonuts’s final boss overworld sprite. The dude likes Uboa, OK?)

So, again, I don’t think it’s unreasonable in this case to take a closer look at a very pointed reference to Yume Nikki as we gather information.

Masada-sensei’s appearance in Yume Nikki is very brief; demonstrations of the segment may be found on YouTube. While the connections between spr_mysteryman’s design and Uboa are well-known, the idea that Masada-sensei and Gaster may also be comparable in some ways is far more obscure, but worth considering.

Some things of possible note from the segment itself:

Reaching Masada-sensei’s spaceship requires descending a long flight of stairs into what appears to be some type of basement. At one point, Madotsuki must equip the Umbrella Effect (which causes her to hold an umbrella while rain falls) in order to extinguish a fire blocking her way.

Masada-sensei’s sprite is in black-and-white – white face, black clothes and hair. His only discernible facial feature is a set of googly eyes that make him look a little neurotic. He also has a non-standard reaction to the Knife Effect – approaching him with it equipped will cause him to back away in fright.

When first encountered, he turns in place steadily and fairly slowly in front of some kind of piano or organ, as though playing the instrument and/or operating it as a type of control panel. Interacting with him causes him to beep at us.

The next room to the right contains a bed. If the player has Madotsuki sleep in the bed, she will wake up later to the sound of the ship’s alarm system. At this point, Masada-sensei can be seen turning rapidly and erratically, as though panicked.

The spaceship will then be seen to crash onto a planet. It is raining when they land. Masada-sensei stands still, looking out the window.

Masada-sensei and Madotsuki seem to be alone on the planet, which stretches for several screens, desolate, until it culminates in a hole in the ground, atop a mound, leading to another long flight of stairs that descend into darkness and an even stranger, more inscrutable setpiece.

Possible character parallels worth noting:

Masada-sensei’s location in a spaceship suggests associations with scientific activity.

Yume Nikki fans commonly interpret Masada-sensei as a music teacher, hence the honorific. As Royal Scientist, Dr. Gaster would have been an authority in his field. We also know that at least one of Undertale’s Royal Scientists (Alphys) is a schoolteacher in Deltarune.

Masada-sensei certainly bears some physical resemblance to the widely accepted image of Gaster; and similarly to Gaster, the small amount of subtle characterization he was given made him a very popular object of fans’ affections and speculations. It’s worth noting, however, that Masada-sensei seems to be pretty universally understood as a sympathetic and very “human” figure – something that can’t necessarily be said for Gaster among the fanbase historically and at large.

I won’t extrapolate on this information too much here, but for this section, the “teacher” thing is worth keeping in mind.

Emotional perspective

I would certainly say “surreptitious yet jocular” feels like an accurate description of this song. To me it feels playful, but out-of-step. It seems like it should be a more cheerful piece, but there’s an underlying sadness or confusion leaking through.

What stands out to me most about this track is how rough it sounds, like the piano player is new to the instrument. For being such a simple piece, there’s a clumsiness to it, a lack of confidence – it sounds like it’s being played just a little too slowly, like the piano player is practicing the muscle memory needed to play it at full speed, and the rhythm stutters momentarily between bars, as if they’ve tripped over their own fingers. A few of the notes sound dissonant, like they were played wrong.

To me, this conveys a sense of imperfect but earnest effort. The piano player is not particularly good at this yet, they don’t feel confident about it, but they’re continuing to play. While the song isn’t exactly succeeding at evoking cheer or comfort, it still conveys sincere curiosity.

Characterization perspective

The way this song deviates from the base Sequence, combined with its rough, unrefined sound, could suggest that Gaster is breaking form in these scenes, perhaps stepping out of a comfort zone and attempting a new form of learning.

Aside from the traffic easter egg in chapter 2 (only seen if he was met in chapter 1), these are the only scenes in which Deltarune’s Gaster manifests in-universe and interacts directly with another character. Given that Gaster seems to prefer staying hidden as much as possible, and is also literally an extraplanar being, it isn’t difficult to see why he might be out of practice for this kind of interaction.

The playfulness suggests a drop in facade, and may reflect an innocent and almost childlike curiosity about the Player and/or Kris. The use of a waltz suggests a desire for connection, as though it’s an invitation to dance.

(Setting aside any specific Gaster relevance, I feel there’s a more general trend developing in Deltarune of waltzes being used to convey themes around connection, such as loneliness, the awkwardness and growing pains of a new relationship, the vulnerability and comfort of trusting a new friend, and the despair of a valued connection unexpectedly severed.)

The evocation of a novice sound could also suggest a more general relationship to teaching or nurturing. Recalling the tangent on Seccom Masada-sensei, we could read this song abstractly as a teacher’s perspective of a student’s development.

While Egg could have any number of worthwhile meanings as a symbol in Deltarune, we shouldn’t disregard the obvious: Egg is a young, fragile life in need of gentle handling and incubation. By giving Kris Egg, Gaster seems to be asking them (and/or the Player) to protect it — the future of Egg is in their (our) hands now.

We also have Lancer telling Kris they “won’t get through [their] teen years without at least one Egg” (itself a reference to EarthBound). With this perspective, we could read the act of giving Egg to be itself a gesture of nurturing on Gaster’s part, if admittedly a very bizarre and confusing one from Kris’s/our POV.

The fact that Players on a Snowgrave route will be locked out of chapter 2’s Tree Room could suggest that this behavior causes Gaster to second guess his trust in the Player and their ability to handle such a fragile responsibility.

[#006] Takeaways

While Gaster’s dialogue projects an air of unwavering, confident professionalism and emotional neutrality, the musical information presented alongside him hints toward a complex emotionality lying beneath his mask. Gaster is far from unfeeling – he’s simply hard to read, and that may be, to some degree, his intent.

In general, Gaster may have difficulty trusting his own judgment, whether as a response to past mistakes, and/or as a natural result of his tendencies toward hyper-analytical rumination and emotional repression.

The Gaster of Deltarune seems to be engaging in a great deal of reflection and introspection. He may be proceeding with this study despite having serious reservations about it. He seems disheveled and, to a certain degree, desperate. Whatever reasons Gaster has for being so interested in the future of Deltarune’s world, these reasons are powerful enough that they are, in many ways, breaking him down.

Despite his spoken eagerness to connect with the Player, close observation may suggest that he’s quietly uneasy with the arrangement and may be more skeptical and/or fearful of us than he lets on. 

For whatever reasons, Gaster also seems to have a particular fondness for and sentimentality toward Kris, who he seems to want to nurture and protect, while also viewing them as a potential savior and source of hope. The association of both characters with piano seems to underscore a connection between them.

OK im tired of writing about this now. THE END !!!Q!

[olgunia]

also... i feel like writing it down and getting it out of my system but... i mean... i told my boyfriend and two best friends... and my new therapist. . .. (i'm finally getting help!!! and it turned out that i was right!! it is that i have been suffering from utmattningssyndrom [exhaustion disorder] for the past 2 years! and also! finally i accept the fact that i have been suffering from it and i feel less of an impostor and also!! for the past 3 months i have been recovering and feeling better and better with every week, i wanted to cry last week when i was able to cycle! every day!! it was impossible even a month ago, i felt so humiliated with how little energy i had all the time.. usch, don't wish that shit on anyone) said that we're gonna Look Into It.. TBC

ok but yes, the thing is that 3 months ago one thought struck me and that is that i may be autistic.. at first i did cry bc i felt overwhelmed and scared because i have this imagine in my head of prejudice and lack of understanding what autism really is and that people on SM are trying to be quirky or special or whatever, i don't even know! it just felt so overwhelming.. but after that i had conducted more research that has been ongoing and.. i think apart from the fact that i just feel like i'm an impostor and that if i would say it out loud - other people will think that i'm 'making it up' (hehe that hasn't happened and those 3 close ppl are supportive BUT!!!) ---- apart from that.. the more i read and think - it just becomes more apparent that i am on the spectrum! and once again it feels like a lot but on the other hand it would explain so many things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! some silly things like me having to ask people if they're joking bc i really can't tell lol, same with irony, to not getting if someone is flirting with me, to people believing i'm being flirty while i'm just interested and excited about the topic and want to be nice lol, me losing my fucking everything and exploding internally while having to go for e.g. on tour - no matter how much i like someone - to be in the same space [car/venue/sleeping place] and to not have enough 'alone time' is just! i just fucking cant! mental breakdowns every 2nd day! i hate spending too much time with people (that doesn't apply to my boyfriend though but till exempel to my family/friends) in the same space! ----- and i mean... i have been diagnosed with ocd and social phobia while being a teenager but there were some things that have been.. puzzling me and now! it feels like i found the missing puzzle! and it feels both good and weird

and other things like being naive, an open book, shitload of thoughts, feeling intense feelings towards stuff - loving/hating, having hard time with 'not exploding' and att hantera emotions, seeing 'patterns', these whole stemming thing- whenever i listen to music that i love it's just.. i just cant NOT move fingers or hands or legs, getting stuck with some sayings/catchphrases that change every now and then, i guess i also overshare stuff but hard to tell hehe, always trying to learn how to navigate small talks and talking and social things, being called blunt, believing that i lack empathy because i just.. i cant imagine how it is to 'put myself in someone's shoes', loving 'shitposting' or wordplay bc they're either absurd and therefore funny or just easy to understand hehe, planning things, not being able to summarize things, doing lots of lists, i just f-ing love to research, getting sucked into things and having a very hard time to get out but also having a hard time to start doing shit and more things bla bl albla lbllalalal.. . .. writing it down so i can have it for future purposes

but yes.. it's scary but good i guess to realise that? Smiley Emoji

[queer-reader-07]

i think, at the end of the day, i will always choose to find the joy in media. i will always choose to read what i think i'll enjoy regardless of what is currently popular. i'll read 8 books by the same author in a row because i like their vibe and i don't care if that's considered odd. i'll always want to talk about why i love a story. why this book or that show or a movie means the world to me. i'll always jump at the opportunity to give people media recommendations because i want to share the stories i love with other people.

yes there's heartbreak in much of the media i consume. yes i have cried and sobbed and felt because of books and movies and shows. but there is always a thread of joy stitching me together. that thread of joy and hope and joyful hope that i cannot ever manage to let go of. even when i feel like the world is burning around me and i'm worried that my loved ones won't come home alive, even when i'm worried that my friends and i will be made illegal by a government that despises us. there is still joy and hope within me.

i will still find that joy and hope in the shows i watch and the books i read.

i will still read mason deaver's books and lose my ever living mind over the queer love stories and the trans joy. i will still watch the new doctor who special and be amazed at the displays of radical self love and the power of platonic love. i will still pick apart and analyze books like babel by rf kuang and dune by frank herbert because i find it to be genuinely fun. i will still post my silly book reviews and my good omens shitposts and my metas that are barely analysis compared to some people on here (truly i love you all meta analysts the work you put in is amazing)

because why would i choose to find the negatives in everything i consume? why would i choose to engage in bad faith with others? why would i make myself upset when i can choose to find joy?

people act like happiness should be inherent, that it should just be and if it's not? then something's wrong with you. and maybe they're right, but maybe it's also ok to make the conscious choice of happiness. maybe it's better to choose happiness when anger isn't the only option.

my brain is fucked up and i don't think it will ever be "normal." i find it far to easy to fall into pits of nihilism and despair and cynicism. and if there is one thing that keeps me going it is my ability to find hope, and with that hope find pockets of joy in the world.

media helps me find those joys. i actively search for and consume media i believe i will enjoy. i actively search for the things i like in media. because it is such a waste of my time to read and watch things i don't like. it is such a waste of my time to engage in bad faith with media.

yeah. i think, at the end of the day, i will always find the joys i can in media.

[damn-this-transgirl-hella-gay]

Hey darlings so like I figured I'd make a actual Pinned post

Ok so Hello I'm Angel, I have ADHD and I'm unmedicated and self diagnosed autism, I specify because I could be wrong as I'm not a doctor that specializes in autism, I'm 20, trans MTF and go by She/Her

I love reading peoples stories here for what I call Tumblr Story Time where I'll at random select a story I see that I enjoyed right now I do this by selecting a random post by @writing-prompt-s and reading the stories and then decide to voice them, I'd also happily voice anyone's story who wants me to simply send it to me and I will!

I also have other platforms that I use like YouTube where I also post the stories and gaming clips

I have a Twitter where I shitpost, hornypost, and when I remember to, give a heads-up when I'm posting a video

I've also got a Throne if anyone decides that they want to be a extra sweet little goober and get me a gift

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Im never getting that baby karasu butterfly scene out of my head also wait adding this to the sweetheart karasu agenda but maybe he really likes animals too?? Like there’s obv the crown motif all over but we see him like gazing at it so fondly too like bro crows and butterflies this boy is so precious HDJSHSJSJAH and no because atp the authors fr just copied you like fwtkac karasu was actually so on point it’s scary

NAH BC WHAT DID WE SAY?? MIRAEITA CANON FR we got the first epinagi appearance guys epimiraeita next fs look at all these signs

On that note im seeing all your shitposts on Otoya and laughing you fr fell into the Otoya agenda trap (me too honestly) LMAOO I also can’t unsee that eyebrow meme but what’s also really funny is wayyyy back when when I first read the manga I was like “bro id never give two shits about Otoya so idc and it’s fine that he’s a cheater LMAO” (look at me now :(((((((() Also wait I also did not know about the green eyebrows it never processed in my mind…that’s…interesting….bro has blades of grass as eyebrows…..

Also the BEANIE I cannot I’m sure he’s worn it so often that his skull and hair have been like permanently MOLDED into a beanie shape like let’s be real let your scalp breathe

LMAFAOAO “buddy we can tell” HAS ME ROLLING but nah fr he just said it is what it is no thoughts empty head

But ok wait pause again this just makes all the previous tabieita moments even more special HEHJSJS like when karasu prevents Otoya and Bachira from stopping off the bench to their recent game interactions and their third selections interactions too like goodbye im ascending we love tabieita power duo (also from what we’ve seen im also assuming himizu probs came first!!)

FR the length of the epinagi chapters is sm nicer whatever’s going on in the bm pxg match just passes like i feel like I read four panels and the chapters over LMAO

We love karasu relevance….i feel like he’ll definitely have a moment but i wonder if maybe it won’t be as tied to shidou so that it still allows Rin to score while he gets some spotlight…like maybe he finds a way to shut down Kaiser or Isagi (good parallel back to the whole Ordinary Isagi from third selection etc)…I also considered that maybe he’d help Rin!! Honestly that was kinda my ideal situation where maybe he breaks apart the current dual system (which seems kinda inefficient imo) but I wasn’t sure how likely that was to happen LOL either way I trust karasu awakening moment soon…

FRRR I get that Isagi is the mc but I’m DYING to see other matches like please we haven’t seen any of the other matches barcha has been straight up dead for like the past 60 chapters

Another nagireo breakup NEEDS TO HAPPEN like let them grow I’m begging (also I too like to doom scroll through Reddit but then I see some extremists debating some points or talking about characters glazing and whatnot I’m like ok maybe this was a mistake LMAOOO)

Yeah there’s no such thing as a non ooc piece there…also I think just generally (at least in terms of my preferences) the writing style is very…unsophisticated…which makes sense since it’s like middle schoolers writing but I cannot bring myself to continue reading some of that like…(LMAOAO I like that philosophy if it doesn’t exist I’ll make it myself HAHA)

Well either way we were fed well today with that chapter I dropped everything to read it

-Karasu anon

HE IS JUST A CUTE SPARKLY BOY PLEASEEE he’s so 🥹🥹💖💖 i can’t…he loves all animals except the marine ones TRUST!! bro finds wonder and joy in all living creatures as long as they stay far away from the water. and HAHA omg karasu is basically mine atp i should be getting royalties for letting bllk use him 🥱

YES MIRAEITA SO REAL SO TRUE HIGHLIGHT OF THE CHAPTER 🤩 first in bllk now in epinagi…it’s obvious what the best ship is!! NO BUT SAME when i first saw him i was like okay weird guy his best friend is hot asf though (i was so overwhelmed by karasu that i did NOT care abt otoya) and then i read he was a cheater and i was like yikes…never liking him…now i shitpost abt him constantly and just posted the first chapter of a fic for him 😓 he used his ninja skills on me or smth tf…

I JUST NOTICED IT THE OTHER DAY so ig his hair is naturally green then?? does that mean he bleaches the rest of it?? he confuses me a bit 😭 don’t get me started on the beanie LMAOAOA he keeps that thing ON ‼️ yeah ykw at least he admits that he’s dumb as hell though like he truly is just floating through life and chilling i have to respect it

TABIEITA IS PEAK OVER THINKER + DOESN’T THINK like they average out to a normal person’s levels of consideration to any given subject HAHA karasu is always analyzing shit and internally freaking out about every little thing meanwhile otoya is like “cool 🥶👍” to literally whatever 😭

pxg vs bm has been like so many chapters and yet i feel like nothing has happened…i think it’s the curse of weekly releases though because i bet on reread it’ll flow well!! it’s just that as it’s coming it’s like please i need MOREEE

i do think karasu is going to have some kind of relevance!! i see a lot of posts on tik tok abt rin and shidou possibly linking up and i think karasu could be an avenue to that. but also YES bro i can’t wait for the epinagi manga to catch up w nel in twenty years i need to see what’s going on nowwww let me see my boys again 😓 BUT NOT TOGETHER. REONAGI ANTI RIGHT HERE (not actually hehehe but yk)

honestly i’m not a reddit lurker…embarrassingly enough i happened upon the thread while looking for manga panels of otoya on google 😐 goofy ass mf taking over my life and whatnot

100% i think it’s almost a self fulfilling prophecy — kids start off writing on wattpad, so the quality isn’t great, which means adults searching for smth better written go to sites like tumblr/ao3, leaving mostly people who can read objectively more beginner work on there, and because they’re so used to that, that’s what wp authors will put out. then because the ecosystem is as such, there’s no motivation to improve as authors can get away w a simplistic writing style and still be popular. ofc this doesn’t apply to everyone — i myself post on wp sometimes, so there’s obviously going to be other people who can write fairly well and upload on there for various reasons — but for the most part that’s kind of the case. actually ime more complex/better written stories will get less popular and more hate/complaining-type comments than the very surface level y/n-harem type of stories. that’s not to bash on the latter kind of story but it’s just an interesting observation i’ve made!! i think it speaks a lot to the wp audience

[puppet2611]

//from 4.24.23

daniel said to write more in here and im in a5 brainrot hell so

THIS PART OF A5 WAS ACTUALLY TAKEN FROM AN EARILER CONCEPT OF LF...

ok so its nothing too specific or special - just that the characters zodiacs have a special part in their stories ig 💥💥

well it only rlly applies to micheal and adam ngl

micheals a goat and adams a monkey 💥💥 (im talking abt chinese/birth year zodiacs)

this doesnt go into anything too deep, goat just means sacrifice and monkey is just a reference to a monkeys paw

micheal is really the only thing the family ever had to sacrifice and it fits in with him being catholic soo why not!! adams just a horrible bad luck attractor btw. ollies luck is sm better when hes not around

oh yeah abt oliver i decided hes gonna either b transfem or bigender 👍👍 he/she prns r fine & he goes by oliver, ollie or oliver :]

might as well continue and finish it idk

olivers also bi-romantic & asexual :3

adam and micheal r both cissies/lhj... adams deadass just gay and micheal is panromantic asexual ^_^ only reason adams not ace is for my sillu dilly rps with mfs on chai/hj

I WISH I HAD SONGS TO ASSIGN THEM BUT I RLLY DINT HAVE ANYTHING RN... i guess olivias sweet tooth by cavetown but thats like it lmfao

THIS IS SO WRONG NOW... NEW MICHEAL CONCEPT (replying to micheals old concept design)

2nd img is after death/ in the afterlife !! dont mind the text

SHITPOST ART OF HIM FROM A MAGMA WITH BUGZ BTW 😭😭 its too goofy not to show

stupid gay/j

OH YEAH I HAVE TO ADD CONTEXT TO THIS BUT UHMM I WAS RPING AS ADAM WITH A RANDOM CHARACTER FROM A FANDOM IM IN AND THEY GOT TOO FRUITY. THIS POPPED IN MY MIND WHILE I WAS OUT SHOPPING W/ MY DAD 😦 the canon charaer on first img. im cringe and a oc x canon shipper

this was set after micheals death kind of in a au where adam doesnt get depression and fixates on him for years on end 💀 but anyways itd kinda be funny if it wasnt // if they had an open relationship but when micheal finds out hes just like. "you fucked the mf bishop of the basilica?? how am i gonna show up to church each week w/o him staring at me funny now." 😭😭

anyways that eas just a random thought

i was thinking that red would be yhe overall main color for the story :3c adam already wears red usually, red is practically going to be micheals main color in art concepts i have and oliver just looks good in it lol

oh i forgot to mention earlier

i havent done the math for what year oliver wouldve been born in but im thinking his zodiac would be a dog.. theres nothing big behind it either, its just that hes kinda lost w/o adam or micheal and would probably run back to them no matter what - slight reference to the song like a dog ^^ - but its also kinda based on the fact habit said he gave off doberman vibes lol

unless yall rlly wanna judge them based off their birth month zodiacs i dont think ill give them actual birthdays 💀 but micheals birthday is april 5, just because its kind of a main part to yhe story.. (ihy server stfu abt zodiacs for one second challenge fr. i got called slurs bcz im a leo)

mentioning this again!!

i have basic ideas on how to draw scenes attached to the lyrics now :)

"see how his feet miss the ground" - plain red background against two feet just kinda dangling from the top. the lyrics are right below the shadow

"and he falls inside a hole he dug for me" - i really didnt know what to for this even after hours of thinking since micheal never planned to kill adam or anything alike so i just opted to have adam standing there in shock again, against a plain red background. theres might be a little of that on his hands too :]

"the kind of irony youd read in bible stories" - shillouette of micheal sitting up jn his grave. the backgrounds still red. hes holding a white book with yellow text on it ^_^ you might be able to infer what the book is from the lyrics imo (replying to another msg. too long to include )

i might make a bunch more oc x canon (8:11) interactions soon too :33 or crossover stuff

like ryker meeting both emilio and oliver (mc meeting lol) or emilio meeting micheal since micheal wanted to be a priest but last minute settled for being a jeweler 😞

i deadass kinda want micheal to meet my friends oc felix but i have not the slightest idea how that would work

ooo micheal and aster meeting would be cool too ( old jewelery making mfs/silly )

Anyways that's all I've got for now!! i might come back jn a bit or some other time ^^

[angelsarewatching]

Hear me out, how would each 141 member propose to you? I like to imagine Ghost would pull you away in the middle of a mission and give you a ring hanged on a chain like a dogtag

It is close to 1 PM. You have a class that starts at 7 and will end at 12 PM. You are on tumblr at this ungodly hour. The wifi has been interrupted and now you are using the bare bits of your cellular data to scour the internet for stupid shitposts you'll think about before going to bed. Your wife is heavily asleep on your shoulder. You're still on Tumblr. You get a notification when you're in the middle of reading the worst take in internet history. This is the notification. You are now tapping on your phone's screen like you are spilling the tea to your friend who was absent for the day and like your life depends on it.

OK but ghost low key proposing to you like that w just any object but with a super special meaning.. what if it's the chain to his dogtag-- and he ripped the tag off to coil it around the ring he gave you??????? what if he was symbolizing throwing away his dog tag saying that "simon riley is dead" but noooo he's like "i wanna take your last name bc i hate my dad" and he's super serious as he says this 😭😭😭😭😭

hold on inspiration time

SO NOW HERE WE HAVE: HOW THE 141 PROPOSES TO YOU!!!!!

How Ghost proposes: (Your POV)

Get behind cover, both of you are crouching because there's an intense gunfight happening, you're on your last mag and your gun is not reloading for some reason unknown, you're extremely terrified. Your girlfriend is beside you watching you break down close to tears because your rifle chose to be defective at the wrong time. You hear artillery strikes. It's coming from the other side. You and your significant other are minutes away from certain death. Your significant other, in an unexpected turn of events, has a grenade.

"Y/N, before we die, I just want you to know that if we make it out alive, I want to spend the rest of eternity with you." They throw it behind the stout sandbag-wall. People scream. The gunfight stops. They have most likely ran away. Artillery strikes are painfully loud to your sensitive ears, and they're happening all around you. The air raid sirens are going off. You're still reeling at what your s/o said. They grab your hand and put the pin of the grenade on your ring finger.

"This'll have to do for now."

You are shocked. You call them an idiot. You're crying. Entire buildings are collapsing around you and you're crying because someone you love just proposed to you.

"You bastard!" You are sobbing violently.

"You're proposing to me NOW?"

Your s/o starts crying too. "Are you saying no?" They ask, choking back tears.

"Obviously not you IDIOT! I love you godammit!" And then you kiss. Everyone's screaming and rushing to safety all around you and you both are doing cheesy romantic shit. Your s/o smell like gunpowder, bonfire smoke and weird smelling sanitizer.

How Roach Proposes: You're practically at your deathbed after a mission gone awry. He cries on your arm and then gives you the box and can barely speak because he's crying so much. He thinks he's going to lose you forever. You regain an ungodly amount of willpower to live again and your doctors are shocked at your recent reports.

How Price proposes: (for you @alypink) This man actually doesn't. He doesn't want to marry, at first. he is severely bullied by the rest of the 141 to propose to you but he's indifferent to it. then he sees some dude try to flirt with you because "i don't see a ring on their finger 🙄🙄" and suddenly he's like. Square up Motherfucker and sigma walks/stomps all the way to Taylor & Hart and then purchases a fifty-carat diamond engagement ring with a pavé setting just to flex his big dilf energy and gets the best box and purchases an entire fucking three piece suit out of sheer SPITE to one up that random NPC fucker and he goes to you all dressed up fine, offers his hand for you to hold and opens the car door for you when you guys enter the fancy fuckin michelin star restaurant he pulls out your chair for you and all he's really missing at that point is a rose between his teeth. you look around you and you see this man rlly fucking rented the entire restaurant just for YOU two. he leaves for two minutes then comes back and surprises you with the most flamboyant flower bouquet you've ever seen and takes you up to the rooftop where there's a garden and everything, there's a fucking violinist there and HOLY SHIT AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA WHO GOT A GRAND PIANO UP THERE--and y'all are slow dancing underneath the moonlight and rose-covered arches and he gets down on his knee and proposes to you.

all purely out of spite.

How reboot Soap proposes: He gets a small quotidian engagement ring bc sergeants don't get lots of sauce but he chooses it. because he thinks of you first and foremost. and what you would like. it's a small solitaire ring and the setting isn't even made of gold, it's metal. he gets the cheapest one possible, but really tried his best.

How sigma alpha male captain soap proposes: Ten planes. He doesn't back out. He's the man. He walks you to a place on the beach with fairy lights and wooden benches. you guys order a fancy meal. after ordering, you guys have a casual conversation, then he goes like "look up darling" and then you see. Ten fucking jets in the sky.

These planes write "I LOVE YOU" in the sky and do all sorts of complex maneuvers into dizzyingly beautiful hearts until they're all just plastered on the sky like god decided to doodle. while you're staring at the oddly-clear sky (he planned this out) and then he brings out a velvet box and says "you make every mission of mine worth it. marry me." and opens it, to reveal a pear shaped diamond engagement ring.

[manasurge]

(2/2) If anything I mostly view fandoms as a "parallel play" space bc i love the combination of passive and active interactions (I just love the presence of like-minded folks around), and basing interactions over just the one special interest tends to make things not last as well (so finding other things you share in common with your fandom buddies is what helps things last longer, and even then sometimes it doesn't! People move on and I've done that myself with other interests in the past, so I never have hard feelings when some of us go separate ways. It's normal and it happens! I guess it's just something I've gotten used to as I got older and am unbothered. If anything, I still miss some old friends, but this is just how life goes, y'know?). In any case I just find it's better to not take things too seriously. I'm just here for self indulgence reasons and seeing everyone gush about their favourite OCs and shared interests and talking points in GW2, and even if some folks never interact with me or we only pass by each other with likes/reblogs without any commentary, that's ok! I love seeing everyone's creativity, whether it's art, writing, screencaps, shitposts, etc. Even if we have specific different special interests in the community, I LOVE that! I love seeing such a variety of folks (I actually come to expect seeing this! like each of us who favourite particular races, I love seeing that! it's so cool!). I just like seeing folks around, and even though I can't catch every post (I just kind of pop in and out of here sporadically) and how I know others miss mine as well, that's ok! I still love seeing everyone's creations, even if I don't always have the energy to read long text posts (my ADHD struggle. I'm really bad at reading huge long text posts, so I need to wait for a day when i have lots of energy for it. I'm sorry i'm bad at this </3) it doesn't mean I don't like your characters, and I still try to catch them again when I can (and I try to leave comments in the tags when i can too!). We all have lives outside after all! This is just a neat space for us to share things and find other posts to apply to our characters bc it's fun. I also don't expect ppl to care about mine, and that's ok too! Anyways, working around the bad brain gremlins is gonna be different for everyone, and I found my own life hack for it. Idk if it'll be helpful for anyone else (especially bc i'm kind of out of it and my brain is frazzled so I'm ramgling rn), but hopefully other folks can find their own life hacks around it too! I'm just here to be gay, silly, and whimsical (and a little feral)!!!

(1/2 bc I made this too big by accident)

lol random rambly post sort of related to current things bc I was awake for 24hrs and my head still feels a bit overheated even after sleeping: In terms of the online thing, I find I get way to shy so I don't usually like to draw too much attention to myself, so you never will really see me do prompts for questions or anything (I tried to before but learned that I get bad stage fright and I'm bad at answering them lol). I just kinda do things at my own pace and post them before running away (as you can tell, I don't actually post a lot! even tho I got a lot of things behind the scenes, I like treating my OC stuff as a fun personal project that I'm producing for myself and am floored when it gains any traction at all! Especially cuz I don't do OCs the same way as other folks too lskjf. I only got the one! my spoiled child) I basically still operate on my personal mental default of "I'm a neglected only child left home alone using fantisized OC stories and worldbuilding in my head as a form of imagination escapism and emotional fulfillment" and have been doing this for years before i was apart of any kind of fandom, so I never have expectations from other ppl when it comes to me doing stuff (I'm so used to not getting any attention about things I do, so any crumb of it that happens is a godsend and fully appreciated!). In any case I was working on mine for a few years before I even KNEW there was such thing as an online community, and to me it's been a blast and more enrichment than I ever would've expected!! (I struggle SO HARD to make friends or acquaintances. I'm a pathetic lonely person with no life, so I just like seeing familiar faces around talking about things or just liking and reblogging). Also on a kind of backwards frame of mind I have: I'm a bit of a defeatist. I never think ppl will see or pay any mind to my stuff, and that's fine with me! In fact I always imagine the opposite reaction, which makes me mentally retaliate into being even MORE STUBBORN about making my cringe OC stuff, DESPITE these imaginary scenarios!! (like, screw you! I'm not making this for you! I'm making it for me!). I expect nothing, therefore anything that happens, I'm either prepared for bc I'm spiteful, or I'm surprised with a lot of positive outcomes! anyways -

[pokegalla]

Ok so I was looking at my account, just looking through out of boredom and realized woah I have 25 followers??? Yo like to some people it may not be such a big deal but for me that’s a major jump. I started tumblr like years ago for fun then I decided (years later) that hey I want to start a writing blog!

I always loved reading other’s stories and see their artwork and commissions. So I thought I could try. Got super worried honestly….I’m not very confident in my writing. But every like I got just got me super happy….so I kept writing. Then people began following me….so I got even more motivated and started posting any idea that pops in my head.

And now we’re here….I didn’t really have expect to get this much love. Even one like is enough for me to see someone out there liked what I did….and that makes me happy. I made this post to thank everyone who followed me:

@homelyai

@sneakyguest

@kawacat

@sarebreathes

@waywarddreamer2002

@ehlaaaaaaaa

@cosmique-latte

@xroseghostx

@littlesoupy

@berrypiezero

@pippstars

@kil0-0unknownbasement t

@harikko

@soilightsandsdartblog

@lunamix-arts

@novafruity

@dannnapanditauwu

@aiko-ayumi

@tinkerbells-flower

@sadsimp7107

@dystopianrealist

@my-shitpost-of-writing

@mseve

@myloh-reblogs

@ilragazzostranoediverso

Every like and follow is very much appreciated. And I have seen some pretty talented or fun blogs here as well. So I feel special to be followed by you guys. And again thank you!!!!

[potatogoats1blog]

Hello! Please read this before.. Before scrolling down my blog i guess

My name is Alex, you can call me Potato or Goat or Neko(what? You have new nicknames for me? YASSS SLAAY). I go by male and neutral(he/they) pronouns. If we're close enough, i stop caring of what pronouns you use with me💖💖

I speak Russian/Ukrainian, English(🗿), and Italian!

Ok so

My blog contains and may contain:

My art in general, shitposts, AU's and reblogs.

CHARISK - yes, i love this ship. Unless it's an incest version. (You may usually see the lesbian side of charisk here)

FONCEST - I don't like it in general, i just draw it sometimes. Comissioned or requested

GORE/BLOOD/AB×SE, S.HARM/DEATH OR MENTIONS OF IT - besides of cute things, I draw this! I do not support abuse in general, verbal or physical, because it's fucking awful. But i do like doing bloody arts ehehe. Don't ask about the SH part

Swearing, cursing, or saying bad words in general.

PLEASE do not interact with me if you're:

* Homo/bi/trans/a-phobic. I am part of LGBTQ+ community and i will post gays as often as i want to

* Pro-pife, War supporter, antifeminist or asshole in general

* Pedophile or Pedophilia supporter.

* Frans supporter, unless it's Echotale. 90% of Frans(and Chans and Sasriel!) is pedophilia, because the age gap between Frisk/Chara/Asriel and Sans is HUGE AS FUCK. I will not ban you or anything, but please do not interact with me

* that one person who won't let me use pronouns for Frisk/Chara in other Au's. Look, english is not easy, and sometimes i accidentally may misgender characters.

EDITED this part cuz it sounded awful

Ok so.. In my charisk AU i use she/her for both chara and frisk! If you're uncomfy with that just don't interact/tell me to unsub you. Sure it's sad but hey I'm doing what makes me happy in a way that is comfy for me. Deal with it or kindly leave

UPD: PLEASE DO NOT SUB TO ME IF YOU'RE A CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS. im not exluding you. I will treat you like a regular person and that means that i WILL yell and curse if im angry with you. The point is, i don't want to deal with your parents or anyone. If we end in an argument, i may mentally harm you with my words, i don't want that. So please be careful

(Being a special child doesn't free you from the consequences of your actions, at least here. Please stay at a safe distance from me so we're not causing problems to eachother!)

I think that's all! Thank you for reading

[6/07/2022]

[Updated 18/08/2022]

Warning list:

BAN list:

[yoditorian]

massive thank you to my followers for getting me to this milestone, and also to everyone who sent in fics!! while i can’t confess to having read all of these works (i’m getting there tho) each comment is from the person who submitted it 💛 i’ve decided to keep this up as a regular thing, hopefully to be able to traffic some more readers to lesser known writers too so keep an eye out for that link

these have been listed in the order i received them, multi chapter works have either the masterlist or first chapter linked, please pay attention to warnings on the individual works

@bee-dameron - kair’ta - din/reader - this is one of my own recs, the original holder of my din djarin loving heart, ellie knows what they’ve done to me.

@keeper0fthestars - would you let me - din/reader - again, a rec of mine, solely responsible for planting tattooed!din in my head. a concept which haunts me daily. 

@thosewickedlovelies - into the woods - frankie/reader - my beloved rachael took a middle of the night shitpost of mine and turned it into something truly beautiful, i can’t wait to see where it goes. 

@anxiety-riddled-mando - shereshoy - mando!oc/reader - the last of my suggested fics, lives rent free in my head and the only thing i will accept as canon. jon favreau who??

@firstofficerwiggles - caretaker - din/reader - It's my fic so this is a hard question to answer but I think the story's strengths are it's romance and the blend of other elements like humor and action.

@heatherbel - desideratum - din/reader - Gorgeous poetic romance with Din Djarin.

@jura-moon - chrysalis - din/reader - The most beautiful slow burn one shot you will ever read. Jura's writing is beyond special. Sweet, emotional, sexy gorgeousness in fic form. 

@wille-zarr - in fields of white - din/reader - I wrote it lolllll jshshdhs.

@papercinders​ - enigma - obi wan/reader - the description of everything!! im not gonna make sense but gosh the author hooks you with the first chapter and drags you along by the neck for the next four

@waatermelon-sugaar - want to kiss? - poe/reader - So sexy 🥵.

@michaelperry - amidst the to and fro - din/reader - It’s a rebel!Din Djarin AU fic that is such a cool what-if idea and is written so beautifully. Din’s characterization is perfect and the whole thing is super sweet and soft. It’s one of my favorite fics I’ve read recently (tbh everything I’ve read of hers so far is amazing).

@maharani-radha-writes - cultural differences - javier/reader - It’s wonderful to be able to experience a little bit of someone else’s culture! And Javi doing his best to accommodate and understand is great to see!

@pumpkin-stars - waiting - frankie/reader - this fic has everything, angst, absolutely staggering symbolism, talk of death, frankie morales and the origin of his iCONIC hat (need i say more) (yes I will), heartache, taking chances, more angst, acceptance, a love confession, a happy ending. This fic is written with such care and empathy it is easily one of my fave frankie fics <3.

@katlikeme - it’s all the same down in the capital - reader + clones - Kat knows my whole heart belongs to her because this fic and i get all weepy just thinking about it.

@fromthedeskoftheraven - visions of sugarplums - jack/reader - being snowed in with Jack Daniels and his endless list of sweet pet names for you. And the pining!  

@mourningbirds1 - the crossroads i’m standing at - javier/steve - Javier peña and steve murphy and all the yearning and pining possible <3.

@miceenscene - star-crossed - din/ofc - din djarin soulmate au that takes your breath away.

@filthybookworm - nothing more and nothing different - frankie/reader - the most beautiful character study of frankie morales and his love languages

@ladylothlorien - oberyn is our greatest post-punk novelist - oberyn/reader - beautifully written modern!oberyn.

@itssmashedavo - mary magdalene - javier/ofc - Incredible OC, excellent pacing and very good writing. 10/10 would recommend.

@corellianhounds - geroya - din + covert - The cutest slice of life Mando fic that I can’t stop thinking about. A lovely unique look at Din from the POV of the covert foundlings. 

@millllenniawrites - warmth - poe/reader - love how Poe is portrayed in all their fics, but this one especially as it's such a slow build, and I can really feel everything when I read it! Also sex pollen is one of my favourite tropes ngl.

@brandyllyn - doppelgänger - nathan/reader - Wow - everything. This fic is just- so perfect! I love how Nathan makes an AI of himself (and believes that everyone would fuck themselves, given the chance) - that is one os the most in-character things I've ever seen Nathan do in fic - it's just perfect! Also love how bad Nathan is in bed at first, and the ending is so hot. Love love love this fic, I reread it regularly.

@youvebeenlivingfictional - don’t treat my love like a habit - santiago/reader - I love reading this series because I love how the characters develop, and how their relationships change over time too. I love the imagery in this fic and its such a comfort read. (Also there needs to be an honourary mention of Magnetic too, by the same author as it has excellent slow-burn pacing).

@woakiees - mistakes and sour grapes - poe/reader - I love how, although its modern-day Poe, it also does a really good job of showing Poe's struggles as he tries to adapt to civilian life. I also really enjoy the slow build between the two of them and Finn's friendship with the reader (also it's made me desperate to try a chocolate cake shot lol). 

@woakiees - and you keep me holding on - santiago/reader - it made me cry so much!!! the emotion, the days counting, the pain of poor Santi, just everything its so good

@brandyllyn - to sell your love for peace - javier/reader - omg ok. the writing in this was so good, and the foreshadowing was excellent - the whole time, I had a sneaking suspicion of what was going to happen, but the clues were so expertly scattered in that I had just convinced myself I was wrong when... (AAAAHHHH I screamed you have no idea it was so good).

@writingletterstothefire - she loves me - santiago/reader - the suspense! I love knowing things that the characters dont and I cant wait to find out how they react! I really enjoy this authors writing too.

@witchyavenger - coffee - richard/reader - how sweet it is!! I just wanna give Richard some love too, he deserves the world, (and the moodpboard for this fic is so good also).

[jinjofitzo]

🩰Intro to me and my blog, i guess!🫧🇵🇸🍉

hey! 2023 update LOL! I’ll be keeping things from my 2021 post, but here is how i am as of august 2023 :]

actual introduction under the cut, important links:

https://en.pronouns.page/@jinjofitzo

https://jinjofitzofunny.carrd.co

Commision prices:

Dm if interested!

Furry ocs may be applicable depending on the complexity!

🌸🐇

Hysha! I’ve betcha you’ve already looked at the title. It is exsactly 1:23 am (i am on the west of u.s.a) here and I decided to make a blog! This’ll be a fun ride, huh?

Basic info, hi! I’m London. I’m african-american (born in america,,) but has alot of german family. Kinda odd if I do say so myself. Though my (personal) family speaks more english so i’m bad at both english and german XD

I’m bigender! That means that I identify or fluctuate between two genders. I was originally female, but I also can be very masculine at times. “that doesn’t mean you’re a man!” i know, i know, but this is my personal life and I’m exploring my identity. I’m masculine and feminine. So now I go by She/Him! Additional information regarding my pronouns will be at https://en.pronouns.page/@jinjofitzo !

Here I will post about my oc’s, my friends oc’s, and even some fandom stuff i’m in for the time being. I do a lot of shitposting and only sometimes be serious, so that’s a warning. My main thing is g/t if you couldn’t tell, i’ve never been able to tell anyone about my “special interest” as i call it around my friends, so trumblr was just the best outlet! i’ve been watching the g/t community from afar and wow i’m so excited to join!! I hope i’m accsepted :))

(Btw! G/t stands for Giant/Tiny, Which is basically just normal people with an extreme height difference! it’s very cute, and i don’t see it as sexual!)

My discord is jinjofitzo (all lowercase)! I also have a youtube channel named FluffyZuffy, and I have no other socials other than the platform we’re on as of now.

By the way,, I’m doing this on ipad! So things’ll be just a tad harder on my end.

I don’t know to much how to make an intro so that’s the best i’ve got for now and my fried brain. Get ready for a lot of memes and stuff!! More about my oc’s later and,, great to meetcha! Thanks for reading!

An edit! I have sideblogs now aswell! @fluffyzuffy​ for my silly little thoughts, and occasional vents, and @dkdoafdoaf​  for other stuffs!

!! QUICK DNI!! 

Terfs, anti-lgbt, kink blogs, pro shippers, camp camp fans (i mean you can if you want,, i just don’t really like camp camp at all…) nsfw blogs, hardcore dream stans, pedophiles, people who thinks minors should die, people with “minors dni,” ableists, hardcore religious people, hardcore vore blogs, and i think that’s it for now!!! tell me if i missed some!!!

By the way, here’s a couple of picrews of mine i’ve made to represent me. I’ll show you some _actual drawings _i’ve made after this post. Muahahaha.

(by the way.. Sjnce I first made this post i have chanegd from Biromantic to Queer/Gay[Romantic]  (i like masculine ppls :] ) and have also started to present more masculine at times, other times more feminine, so that’s why the picrews switch overall feelings) 

EDIT edit, I’m andro! (attraction to masculinity regardless of gender.)

ok i’ll actually go now

[larkace]

*WHOOP* 100

i have no words holy crap, thank you all so much!! it's insane that enough of you saw my shitposting and went "yup! im gonna follow that" so again, thank you :)

some special mentions:

@ninacarstairss who is truly one of the best accounts on this app, thanks for always being so kind. a lot of people arent, so you're a breath of fresh air on my dash <3 ily

@finnick-annie you're a star! and you've literally been there from the start! how you put up with my shitposts on your dash for so long is a miracle, but im glad you stuck around. ily❤

@littlegirldorothea is a complete genius, and I dont take criticism. the robber claws was the post that inspired me to write again after a long case of writers block, so thank you for coming up with that idea. ily 🥺

@im-not-ruined-im-ruination you're so cool. literally do you live in antarctica bc that's how cool you are. like. you wear sunglasses indoors. that's the vibe you are. and I'm SO here for it. ily *mwah*

@lucie-blackthorns i adore you. whenever you post about tsc i literally stop what im doing and read the whole thing, bc your love for the characters (especially lucie) is so great to see, so thank you :)

@brekkercookie I wasnt going to watch the s&b series until i found your blog, so thank you for giving me two of my greatest loves😌 one being s&b... the second being you! ily <3

...ok so people should not let me talk but hey, there you go. there are so many more that I could go on about for days but i dont wanna ramble so I'll get to it.

if you like (this is a very original idea wait for it.....)

send me asks!! (more than one if you wish)

❤- send me a song recommendation and ill give you a song that reminds me of you :)

🧡- send me your favourite book and ill give you one of my OCs

💛- ill give you a quote from my friend groups quotebook (be warned: you will get confused)

💚- send me your favourite colour & ill find you a pin from one of my boards (on pinterest obvi)

💙- (for tsc moots) I'll tell you what family i think you'd be in

💜- (for grishaverse moots) ill tell you what grisha power I think you'd have

And again, tysm for 100 !!!!

✨🌈🥺❤

[chaotic-bells]

I was tagged by @imbellarosa and @justalarryblog 😊 thank you! And sorry for the delay and rambling lol

my check in tag

This is a bit long... so I’ll just add the break not to bother people with my ramblings. 

1. Why did you choose your url? I created tumblr because of a fanfic, and I've been reading them since I was 11. And I will always love fanfic. Fanfic is the answer to all life's problems and bad canons. I can't imagine living in the world where I don't have fanfic to continue a world I love or to fix issues in a world that was promising, or just to wait until the next bit of canon came out. You have to imagine I started reading fanfic when there were only 2 Harry Potter books available and I was waiting for the translation of the third one (that came out end of 2000, and yes I was reading fics by then). So yeah... I wanted something related to fanfics, and I really am terrible about online identities. Probably should've used something more creative, but oh well. I like it well enough now, it is one that applies to all fandoms I love.

2. Any side-blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them. Yes, I have @randomsideposts as my attempt to create a tag system and save my favorite posts. I failed. I also have @kenshin-and-maki for my cats, and a third unnamed one as sort of a journal/vent blog, for those times I just need to write stuff down and I don't want to keep things to myself. No one follows me and that's the way I like it. It's kind of dark.

3. How long have you been on tumblr? A year and a half only lol a baby by Tumblr standards.

4: Do you have a queue tag? Me? Organization? What? Jokes aside, I don't really like queueing stuff. I'm either here or I'm not. I'll schedule a post for a random future time, just so I don't forget the post, but a time I know I'll be online to interact with it/the reactions to it. I do that when (for example) Louis posts and I see posts that are not related to that that I'd like to reblog, but not right at that moment.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? Because of a cute Larry fic where Louis and Harry become mutuals without knowing they're the other one. I liked the dynamic they described of how Tumblr worked and I wanted to see if it really was like that, because my previous experiences with Tumblr were... confusing enough that I didn't stick around for more than 20 minutes.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp? It's Louis and Liam, who are definitely my favorites. Don't get me wrong, I love all the boys, but Liam and Louis (and their friendship) are just really special to me. And this pic is just... so cute. Also, @whatagreatproblemtohave and @evilovesyou demanded either me or @promisethatillnevertell change our profile picture, and that we should duel to see who would keep it because it was getting confusing lol (it was one of the outtakes of the House of Solo photoshoot). I would never fight Lou so I changed it. And I love it because it has my two boys 😁💕

7. Why did you choose your header? Because the livestream was so awesome and even if it's blurry i like it. Also, I never use the desktop version of Tumblr so it's probably a mess, but I like what I see on my mobile so it'll stay.

8. Whats your post with the most notes? Probably my Youtube comments about Louis? I know it has over 1k notes, which... wow.  Also, my little wistful post about keeping the livestream format after lockdown did ok too.

9. How many mutuals do you have? No clue, but I love them all.

10. How many followers do you have? 900 or so.

11. How many people do you follow? 654 blogs

12. Have you ever made a shitpost? Who hasn't?

13. How often do you use tumblr a day? No clue, dozens of times. I won't scroll too far down, just enough to distract me for a couple minutes while I'm waiting for something to load or if my brain needs a break from work.

14. Did you once have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won? I've argued before with a Liam blog at the end of the LP Show 2, but it was a misunderstanding, I didn't express myself the way I wanted to. Pretty sure a bunch of Liam blogs have me blocked because of it still. Other than that, I'm pretty peaceful, and I really try to just stay out of drama.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog” posts? I hate them. It is a passive aggressive way of someone thinking their opinion is better than yours, usually has a comment like "if you don't reblog you don't care about this" or "I don't care if it doesn't fit my blog asthetic, I'll reblog it anyway". Congrats? Do you want a star for it? I'll reblog it if I think it has important information, despite these annoying comments, but only once. If it's a post I've seen multiple times, then everyone saw it multiple times.

16. Do you like tag games? Love them, but recently I've been a bit lax. Once you start saving them in your drafts, it snowballs into unmanageable levels.

17. Do you like ask games? I love them, but whenever I reblog one I only get 1 or 2 asks. :(

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? I... don't really care enough about that to keep track lol

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? Yes, but I won't put them on the spot

20. Tags? I don’t know if you’ve done this before, so feel free to ignore it? As usual @promisethatillnevertell @whatagreatproblemtohave @technicallysideacc @maybe-i-missyou @vintageumbroshirt @thedevilinmybrain @beckydoesthings