#this quote alone changed my brain chemistry like

[regisraven-a]

ronan gets it

[immoralimmortals]

Akatsuki Member Songs and Headcanons

I have had years to ruminate to myself on certain songs I listen to that get associated with certain Akatsuki. I'm gonna try to present some of these pairings in a comprehensive way for you guys.

I can 100% replicate this post several times over with different songs and explanations, so I most likely will. We will see! Songs are linked within the post.

Pain: Mr. FEAR by Siamés

This man wants to fix everything, and yet if you look deep enough, he is absolutely crumbling. He is the Mr. Fear, literally, to instill fear in order to bring what he dictates as peace. The song itself is simultaneously calm and chaotic. Despite how conflicted he ends up being, every single contradiction is still said as a command to the listener.

Standout lines:

I wish I had a faster therapy

I've come to mind control your needs

Just trust in me, my dear

Don't fight with me, my dear

Don't trust in me, my dear What cure is coming near?

Konan: Youth by Daughter

Youth, hope, suffering. She has experienced life in that order, and it has left her an angel in constant mourning. This song is, to me, the retrospective side of her, the part of Konan that is still a scared and hurt young lady, the place in her mind that inspires her to keep going for something better. I specifically associate this song more with her loss of Yahiko and the original Akatsuki than her actual childhood.

I could literally quote the whole song for her, so I recommend you listen if it seems interesting. Here's some painfully selected lyrics:

And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones 'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs

We are the reckless, we are the wild youth Chasing visions of our futures One day, we'll reveal the truth That one will die before he gets there

Collecting pictures from a flood that wrecked our home It was a flood that wrecked this home

Zetsu: Dangerous by Big Data

This song sort of changed my brain chemistry, both in general and about Zetsu. If you pair the (honestly very strange and parodic) music video with the content of the lyrics, it creates an idea of heightened awareness of insidious knowledge and, though it is meant about modern advertisements, I also take it about being spied on in general, being dangerous because of your knowledge of the world against you. When I started associating this song with Zetsu, I began seeing him more as an active character than one that merely is there. His spying has purpose, he has motives.

Standout lines:

You understand, they got a plan for us I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous

Nobody's listening when we're alone Nobody's listening, there's nobody listening, No one can hear us when we're alone No one can hear us, no, no one can hear us And I've gotta get out of here Sink down, into the dark

How could you know, how could you know? That those were my eyes Peepin' through the floor, it's like they know It's like they know I'm looking from the outside And creeping to the door, it's like they know

And especially if you're in a shipping mood:

It must be fate, I found a place for us I bet you didn't know someone could love you this much

Tobi/Obito: Dirty Imbecile by The Happy Fits

Being an Uchiha is hard, you know? The expectations, both from your clan and from everyone else... Obito really put the bar of achievement really high because he thought that's where he'd finally be respected, so much as acknowledged. This is a song about being much more deep down than the fool you seem to others, the righteous desire to be worth your many efforts.

Standout lines:

Damn this town and damn this city You never give me anything that I want No one seems to really care They're just wholly unaware Of all the blood and sweat I cry before dawn

Am I good? Is all I could enough for you? I'm so scared of when and where I'll find the truth

Count my little scars, I've got dozens down inside I come complete and invincible behind my dirty imbecile

Hidan: Nothing Personal by Night Riots

Relaxed yet vicious, I think this is a good pairing to think about how he must strut about, preaching of Jashin. You can't be better than him. He will always know better, be better, believe better. Self-centered prick. I adore his confidence.

Standout lyrics:

The center of the world is lonely me Float along through the catacombs The endless cycle, flesh to bones

I’ll be the king, you’ll be the filth I wash away Nothing personal, personal, personal I am the light, I am the truth, I am the way Nothing personal, personal, personal

I’ll take your crown, I’ll make it mine As you sulk your days away Numb yourself and think of me

Kakuzu: Ain't No Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephant

I highkey associate a lot of the themes from the Borderlands series with Kakuzu, featured songs included. This song is pretty self evident to me, overtly about how money motivates people. In my view of Kakuzu, he has crafted over his many decades of war and hardship this encompassing, compassionless worldview of why people do things. If you say "money is the only thing that matters" and you're older than like, a five year old who got their first dollar, you are going to have a strong and elaborate justification for it. It's a song about hard truths about humanity, some things that will never change and you need to accept without taking it personally.

Standout lyrics:

Oh there ain't no rest for the wicked Money don't grow on trees I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed There ain't nothing in this world for free Oh no, I can't slow down, I can't hold back Though you know, I wish I could Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked Until we close our eyes for good

He made it clear he wasn't looking for a fight He said, "Give me all you've got, I want your money, not your life But if you try to make a move, I won't think twice" I told him, "You can have my cash, but first you know I gotta ask What made you want to live this kind of life?"

I saw a preacher man in cuffs, he'd taken money from the church He'd stuffed his bank account with righteous dollar bills But even still I can't say much because I know we're all the same Oh yes, we all seek out to satisfy those thrills

Deidara: Fear & Delight by The Correspondents

Brief aside: gorgeous music video, very skillfully made. Deidara would love it. Certainly a mastercraft of editing and camera tricks.

Dynamic, vibrant song. My partner has used this song as a pairing with another character, comparing the love interest in the song to courting something you really probably should not be. Deidara courts with destruction and death with absolute abandon. His art is beautiful. His art will hurt him. He's so, so okay with that.

In addition, I think this song describes really well how he approaches things that are novel and perhaps frighten him.

It is, again, literally the whole song but here's a couple of lines:

I'm a little boy that's gonna be getting his fingers burned But I can see this lesson's gotta, gotta, gotta be learned

In any case, my friends, it's too late Like a moth to light, like a beast to bait And I know the black widow eats its mate

I'm an innocent being seduced by your charms I'm a young boy tickled to death in your arms Your kisses taste like bitter almonds

Addiction pulling me to a grave end You're an enemy who I'm keen to defend Down the black hole of my lust I descend

Why is it that I'm keen to be devoured by you When there's the option of a love affair that's pure and true? I always choose the dungeon over the sea view

It's wrong but I want you tonight

Sasori: Body by Mother Mother

This guy hates every inch of his human body. As soon as he realized he could change himself, every cell of skin, every drop of blood, every breath of air was cursed. As long as he is flesh and bone, he suffers. This includes even the barest hint of humanity in the cylinder that is his heart. If he could get rid of it, he would. The body only exists to get in the way. He will break these confines.

It is. Yet again. Just the entire song that works for him. Here are a few lines:

Take my eyes, take them aside Take my face, and desecrate Arms and legs, get in the way Bodies break

'Cause I've grown tired of this body A cumbersome and heavy body I've grown tired of this body Fall apart without me, body

Kisame: Promiseland by Mika

It's no secret I adore thinking about Kisame's worldview, and I think this song is a wonderful insight into it. He is the definition of disillusioned, trying to find out what he can really depend upon, if anything. He has nothing to lose. He's already lost it all.

Standout lyrics:

Sold my soul, broke my bones, tell me, what did I get? Did my time, toed the line, ain't seen anything yet Strike me down to the ground, you know I've seen it before Make it hurt, I'll eat the dirt, I just don't care anymore

I kept my promise, man, show me the promiseland

And the whole world's bringing me down

One person's lie is just another man's truth We kept on running from the devil, but the devil was you Every time I see the light, I'm falling deeper in debt If I've never seen the good, how can it come to an end?

Itachi: The Villain I Appear to Be by Connor Spiotto and Molly Pease

Itachi puts his mission first before anyone's impression of him, even that of his beloved brother. However, he can still yearn for his understanding, his respect. The song reflects on doing the right thing without slowing down to explain, lest it be too late, and hoping the pieces may be put together later. Maybe it'll be in your favor, maybe not. That doesn't matter as much as the outcome of your actions.

Standout lyrics:

Nothin' left to do but Try to take the leap and follow through And that's exactly what I'll do

I don't plan on slowing Down, no I'll keep on going Even if you think I'm in the wrong

I know that's what I'm here for I don't wanna wait around anymore Even if you can't see The good inside me

I don't have the time to tell you Why I do the things that I do Just please hold on and soon you'll see That I'm not the villain I appear to be

And I know you think I'm crazy But I hope that maybe Now you'll see why I had to try

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Do you have any books to recommend for people who are new to writing but want to get into it? Ive got some money to spend on books and I’m not sure where to start, and I don’t wanna buy something that’s not worth it :,) but you’re one of my favourite writers and I trust that your taste is good considering your writing is beautiful 🫶🏾

ANONNNNN I’M SO SORRY THIS IS SUCH A LATE RESPONSE 😭😭😭 i spent … a little too much time stressing over what books to include. and how to describe them. blame my faulty brain ok!!!

BUTTTT first of all!!! i’m so honoured that you’d think to ask me this!!!! and that you trust my taste!!!!!! that you think my writing is beautiful (i sobbed btw) YOU’RE SUCH A SWEETHEART… thank you very much 🥺🥺

i decided to make a list of some of my overall favorites, but pls remember that writing is subjective!!!! i hope you can find at least one or two books on this list that intrigues you, and that you’ll end up liking the way they’re written too, but. y’know. there’s never any guarantee!!! i added links that’ll take you to goodreads, where you can check the summaries and reviews of each book to hopefully make the process easier for you 🫡🫡

with that being said!!! here are some ari book recs just for you <3333

war of the foxes - richard siken

my absolute favorite poetry collection, from my absolute favorite poet <3333 i’m assuming that you’re looking for novels rather than poetry but. i HAD to rec this one. because i love it soooooo dearly and it’s inspired my writing so much!!!! siken’s use of language is just …… sooooo tasty. so good. i’m completely obsessed with him. his other poetry collection is called crush and centers around tenderness/sex/violence (and the ways they blur together), but i’d say this collection is more about. art. making art. it’s also about love and war and. lots of things. but art is a big theme. paint on paint. etc. it made me severely ill in the best of ways <33 i really couldn’t recommend it enough!!!

eureka street - robert mcliam wilson

this book is . sooooo underrated 😔😔 i hate it so much. not the book i just hate that it isn’t widely renowned because it SHOULD BE. i read this for one of my high school english classes and it. changed my brain chemistry forever. it’s so good. wilson’s writing is so insanely gorgeous?? it reminds me so much of the writing in disco elysium (my fav video game + biggest writing source 🙏)…. honestly i think it’s worth reading for the writing alone. anyway!! this is a book about love. it starts with the quote ”all stories are love stories.” it’s also about the troubles, which is a conflict between catholics and protestants in ireland during the late 1900s. this book takes place at the end of a period of terror and bombings, but still manages to be about love first and foremost. the main characters are charming and silly and kind of insane in the head <33 this book is VERY funny btw… it had me laughing out loud a lot but also had me feeling so much. it’s so, so heartfelt. you can tell wilson loves belfast. and you can tell belfast loves its people. this book is so special to me and i don’t think i can explain its entire appeal with just words, so you’re just gonna have to trust me when i say it’s wonderful <33

the human flies - hans olav lahlum

do you like murder mysteries 👀👀….. i do. this is my favorite one. it’s very near and dear to my heart!!! the human flies is a classic whodunnit where a man has been killed in his apartment complex, and the other residents are all suspects. it’s about trauma. kind of. and it has a really good historial twist where it turns out that they’re all connected through ww2… but i think the greatest charm point of this book (aside from the mystery) is its characters!! they’re all really vibrant and charming. or not so charming. but they’re hard not to get attached to i think!!! this book also subverts the detective genre by making its detective really useless which i love <333 he ends up being contacted by a girl in a wheelchair who’s basically sherlock holmes and she does all the mystery solving. it’s great. if you’re into the murder mystery genre then i really recommend this one!!

beartown - fredrick backman

THIS BOOK . god. this is another one that i can’t really talk about coherently because it means so much to me. i think every single person on this planet should be strapped to a chair and forced to read it <333 this is a book about…. literally everything. if i had to pick just one thing it’d be community. but like… it’s about family. it’s about friendship. it’s about hockey. it’s about sexual violence and locker-room culture and their devastating consequences. it’s about cherry blossoms and the hope they carry. it’s about healing. it’s about a small town and the people who live in it. every single one of them are interesting. when it comes to the actual plot… i think it’s best to go in blind but i doooo feel obligated to tell you that the center of the book’s conflict is a rape. the first half of the book introduces beartown, its famous hockey team, its people and their stories. the second half deals with the consequences of this rape. backman wrote this book so, so thoughtfully. the topic is obviously sensitive but you don’t need to worry about the perpetrator not getting what’s coming to him, because he will. and ohhhhh BOY backman’s writing. his writing is so unbelievably pretty. that’s the best word for it. he’s literally carrying swedish literature on his bare shoulders. holy fuck. in conclusion; this is maybeeee my favorite book of all time? and you should read it :3 it’s very long but i promise it feels so fast once you get into it. it’s the kind of book that i think everyone can fall in love with!!!! it really did change my life i think.

the travelling cat chronicles - hiro arikawa

honestly, i think this is the book i’d recommend to you the most!! not because of quality (though definitely that too!!) but because i think it’s perfect for someone who’s just getting into reading. minus points for being kindaaa long but that’s all!! i think i should preface this by saying that this book made me cry LMAO. ugly cry. sob. i’ve never cried so hard reading a book before…. it wasn’t a bad cry though!! this book is sad but it’s also so charming and hopeful and sweet. it’s about a cat who travels around the country with his owner satoru(!!), not knowing where they’re going or why they’re going there. the kitty is the narrator and he’s sooo charming. satoru is too. their dynamic is so precious :(((( if you love cats then you’ll love this book, trust me!! anyway… to me this is a great pick for new readers because the writing is super pretty but also really. easy to chew? the story is also written in a very compelling way which should make it a pretty quick read despite its lenght!! it’s very much a roadtrip book :3 i love it a lot and even though it made me cry i consider it a bigggg comfort read (but i’m a jjk fan so take that with a grain of salt)

the stranger - albert camus

ok so!!! i did try not to add any classic books to this list because honestly i don’t think many of them are good introductions to reading. the educational system could learn from me . BUT…. this is one that i think you can get really hooked on even if you don’t study literature. this is a book about . existentialism. or just apathy (and overcoming it)… the protagonist doesn’t really want much in life. he just follows the herd. he’s basically like…. just some guy?? but also very much Not just some guy. because just some guys don’t answer their girlfriend’s proposal with ”if you want to.” or chainsmoke. or kill a guy because ”the sun was too hot.” yeah. he’s very charming (<- worrying taste in men), very weird and very interesting. most analyses on this book are just attempts to diagnose him. the central conflict of the book is the murder he commits, and the trial that follows, where the attention shifts from his actual murder to… the fact that he didn’t cry at his mother’s funeral. hm. this book is really fun. :3 and i love camus’ writing!!! like many books on this list it’s pretty but easy to chew, so i think you’ll enjoy it. read if you want to Think about life. or if you want to see meursault have his bisexual awakening in the middle of a murder trial.

the great gatsby - f. scott fitzgerald

jay gatsby they will never make me hate you…. remember what i just said about not wanting to add classics to this list? the great gatsby is another exception <333 honestly i just . really love this book!!! it’s such a short and tasty read!!!!! i’ve heard that american students really hate it because they were forced to read it and like . i sympathize but 🤨 c’mon. there are sooo many classics that are so much more hellish to read for school…. they don’t know how good they have it……. anyway. the writing is very pretty and the descriptions are soooo…. captivating. so many lines are stuck in my brain. (”they’re a rotten crowd. you’re worth the whole damn bunch put together” my BELOVED <333) people will tell you that this book is about the futility of the american dream and it IS but i also think you should make your own interpretation!!! because there are lots to make. personally i favour the queer one <33 because i’m…. me. gatsby is just . such a tragic character. but also so pathetic. and charming. he’s one of my og meowmeows. this book is worth reading if only for him. i need to dip him in olive oil.

kafka on the shore - haruki murakami

…. sigh . look 😔😔 do i like haruki murakami? no. do i like his writing? unfortunately yes. this book is fucking wild and kind of gross in . a plethora of ways (tw for umm cat beheadings? almost rape (in a dream)? fantasy incest kind of maybe…?? it’s not as bad as it sounds but like. it kinda is. idk.) but for some reason it’s still one of my favorites. i feel like murakami’s classic blend between fantasy and reality stays the same throughout his works and it’s just….. reallyyyyy tasty to me. i think that’s why i still think of this book so often. it really really moved me. and i mean…. let’s face it, his writing is very pretty. this is a book about growing up and it really doesn’t shy away from the discomforting topics that come with that. it’s also about talking cats and mommy issues. kafka has lots of them. i think he’s kind of annoying. the other characters are very charming though!! in this book you basically follow two different plot lines, and both are really captivating imo… buuuut the book is Very Long and very weird so i don’t know if i’d recommend it to someone who’s just getting into reading 😭 it really is very good though… if nothing else, read it for the Vibes. they’re very tasty.

waiting for godot - samuel beckett

this is a fun one <333 and a weird one. NOT a good rec for a new reader lmao but i do have to add it because i adore samuel beckett…. and this is my favorite play!!!!!! it’s usually associated with absurdism which i think says enough on its own. this is a play about…. waiting for godot. that’s all <3 the two main characters, didi and gogo, are basically stuck in a timeloop where they wait for godot to come. he doesn’t. they keep waiting. i adore this play for many reasons but some of them are: timeloops my beloved (1), didi & gogo are super funny and gay and their back-and-forth dialogue kinda turns into poetry sometimes (2), it’s SO much fun to analyze (3). godot can literally be whatever you want him to be. that’s so fun!!!! it’s a weird play but if you want to get into reading plays then… it’ll be here <33

giovanni’s room - james baldwin

aaaand finally!!!! this lovely gem <333 i’m actually not completely finished with it myself but i can tell you that it’s already one of my favorites!!!!! it’s about . shame. and tenderness. and morality. all that good stuff :3 i’ll try to keep this short but . basically…. it centers around a closeted gay/bisexual man who goes on vacation to paris while his girlfriend is vacationing in spain. in a certain bar, he meets a certain barman, whose name is giovanni. they really hit it off. sadly they’re doomed by the narrative. goshhhh this book is just. ough. first of all??? james baldwin is SO . fucking good. his prose is so gorgeous. soooo so gorgeous. worth reading just for that. but the dynamic between david and giovanni is …… so lovely??? and the glimpse you get into their heads is just so. beautiful. :((( this book is so SAD . but also not really. it’s bittersweet. david has to choose between a safe life and a happy life and he’s doomed to choose the safe life. that’s all there is to it.

aaaaand those are my recs !!!! i feel like i’m forgetting some really good ones……. but i don’t want to keep you waiting any longer :’3 i really hope this helps anon!!! i’m so excited that you’re getting into reading!!!!!!!! it’s really just a matter of finding writing that you actually like. i recommend searching up some quotes from each book, just to get a feel for the writing itself!!! pls know that i’m cheering you on in your reading journey 🫂🫂🫂

(and if you end up reading any of these then. pls do let me know!!! i’d love to hear your thoughts 🥺)

[ladysomething]

oh hun, and anon whose birthday was Idk when (hbd by the way! and don't worry, you're still young, love) if you guys feel old, how am I supposed to feel (early 90s baby here) 😖

the only reason I have not gone insane this week over the lack of wygig, has been weariness. first time I'm actually thankful for my shitty working hours.

and you know who IS going insane?? my brother! who actually has normal working hours! good for you maddie, having a random man drooling across the world, crawling up walls waiting for your moment to come back. (talking as if I was not the same) and nahh, the fisting is nothing. they've seen me read this stuff for yeaaaars. well not exactly but you get what I mean

honestly I shall praise. I have nothing else to do right now, and as I can't over analyze this week's chapter, I must yap about why I love your way of writing. and over analyze the snippet.

1. your way of writing is one of my favorites in ao3. you have this talent to get in people's heads and make them NEED to see more. crack. cocaine. I guess my mom would be much more happy that her children are addicted to this rather than irl drugs. mad(s) respect for that.

2. you're kinda a mastermind as well. everything is so well thinked and planned. kudos to saiyanwitcher as well for helping you out with this one. beautiful.

3. your characterization kills it. look, I've NEVER met this people, let alone think they would actually be in this situation. but. if they had to go through something like it. this is the way I think they would be like. I can bet on it. swear even. it just. fits. lovely.

4. I love that you make these long chapters that feel like nothing. you just inhale them. every time I read you I'm always looking at the little bar in the screen that tells how far along we are. I just don't want it to end. but even if you leave a cliffhanger, the chapters always feel complete. like it was meant to finish there. no more no less no further ahead. perfect.

5. I love how you engage with us. feed us crumbs and see how the world sets in fire, sometimes going insane with us too. is just refreshing. I like to imagine you in your couch, throwing us a bone and laughing at how we go nuts about it.

+1. I love the Max crush that you created in me. thank you very much for that. lives were changed. eyes were opened.

+2. my brother and I were going crazy over jealous Charlie. I quote him "oh lui è innamorato. che bello. y no se da cuenta! sei molto stupido Charle" (that's 'oh he is in love. and he doesn't even realize! you are very stupid Charle' for you) Imagine that with angry hand movements and frustrated pacing through a kitchen with a pan on his hand. proper italian, my brother. lost some points throwing some spanish in there but I would still give him like a 8.3/10 for the performance. go and sink us even more in the stereotype/jk

+3. I was today years old when I found out saiyan was the way english speakers write saiyajin. I even had to google and triple check it because I wasn't sure whether it was actually like that or my dislexic brain was just messing with me.

all to say. I love everything you write. give me that fire changed my brain chemistry first. I also found out way too much later than I would've wanted that it was your fic as well. not today but still not so long ago. lovely beautiful thing it was too.

birthday anon started it!!!

also what can I say ... thats my sheer power .. random men drooling across the world ... 💅 but also, them knowing that you read that stuff and reading it with you is very different I fear.

thank you 😭😭 that's very kind, and I'm so happy that that's the effect it has. it's exactly the effect I want!

@saiyanwitcher is the real mastermind tbh. I just write it!

personally I think characterisation is one of my strongest points as a writer, so I'm glad that it hits for you like it does for me!

ahhh I'm so glad they go fast! sometimes I write a chapter and I'm like ... this is 10k of absolutely nothing .. how boring.

I do absolutely laugh, I'm sorry. I laugh a lot.

+1. I'm so glad I've encouraged you to see the light. my Max crush rages fiercely every single day.

+2. YOU'RE ITALIAN?! please remind your brother that my DMs are open if he and his gf break up.

+3. I'll be so for real. I have no idea what you're talking about.

omgggg I'm so glad you loved GMTF too. my fave fic of mine tbh.

thanks for dropping in as always!!

[purpleglitch]

Did it say anything cwazy about George’s destructive dream stream because that one changed my brain chemistry

There was only one paragraph on c!george's page about it, it's this :0

I really love the dreams as concept for lore streams because you could find different meanings to it and theorize so many things AAAAA. Like in that paragraph, why does c!gnf have knowledge of stuff he didn't know awake? Outside of lore it's just because as cc he knows about it or because chat told him but how can you connect it to his character... aaahggg sorry the brainworms...

Since there was a link to a whole article about it, here are some highlights of it :0 the wiki is just summarizing it but I'm adding stuff of my theories of that stream and things not mentioned there that I thought were worth mentioning ^_^

I think why c!dream's answers are so vague here are because c!george just doesn't have that info, since he's dreaming c!dream is not actually there, it's just his brain making up stuff to fill the blanks, also the reason why dream didn't want to show george the interior of pandora and deflecting more questions about the prison with wanting george to show him kinoko instead

It's not mentioned on the wiki but i loved the confrontation they have because i think it's not actually dream talking to george, but his own guilt, he keeps questioning himself, "why did you not visit" "you could've asked" and george keeps throwing excuses but it all represents that inner conflict, he wanted to go in and visit but he never put on the effort to do so. idk idk. also rip cdnf villain husbands :( "if you're not with me, you're against me" god....... and iirc cdream saying that if they teamed up things could be like before

but really awesome that it took c!dream killing c!george for him to go insane, that's his way of coping with the breakup (??)

My personal highlight from this part is c!george giving up on destroying the statue of himself that bad built and saying "it takes so long to destroy myself" like in that context it makes sense but that line haunts me GODDDDD and the parallel of cdream in their previous encounter and a sign by dream on ctommy's house saying "did you miss me? :)" and george being hurt by both he destroys them

i love how george is all "i don't care :/" while destroying everything and saying that he did it because of dream, if dream is not with him then nothing matters........ he never cared about the server, he only cared about the people close to him......... (dream)

this part is just c!george's jealousy demons im crying. him dreaming that dream and techno are a team, saying to dream "your technoblade", somehow george knowing that techno only has 1 canon life and imagining they're both weak enough he can kill them, and stealing techno's armor im just speechless.

Don't want to make this too long but some other fun stuff from that stream to theorize over is c!karl, how did george know about karl's whole time traveler thing and his connection to XD, and that karl said that he already tried to stop george many times with no success, hellooooo.... and george saying that being a sad and alone god ruling over nothing on the server sounded awesome is so crazy, c!george please go to therapy...

Then with the final fight against XD i loved how c!george went all in to taunt him calling XD scared and an idiot for not wanting to fight him. it also leaves me thinking why when XD died, it sounded like the enderdragon dying sound effect oughhh.....

ALSO WHY WERE THE CRYSTALS ALREADY DESTROYED?????? crazy insane c!george is so awesome i love him, welcome back georgeeeHD god headcanon

Bonus quotes from c!george i found in the wiki from that stream because i really believe george deserved an oscar for that performance 😁

[red-dyed-sarumane]

what are some cool games u have played? dont matter if u mentioned before. tell me again tell me again :D

uhh hmm.

well okami is my all time favorite the art & the music & the message/story are all just incredible theres not a single time ive finished it i havent cried. i absolutely adore ryoshima coast ive spent so many hours just running around there to listen to music. which fun fact for u i only know about this game bc in about 6th grade i picked up okamiden bc i thought the little doggy was cute & was like fine i'll play as this boy if i get a cool dog and u cannot imagine how excited i was to find out u DID play as the little dog. i was SOOOOO obsessed literally my exact thoughts were 'if issun is ammy's celestial envoy then i am going to be chibis' i have a metric fuck ton of fan art i did at the time bc i thought it was quote "the epic-est game for ds ever" also cried every time i finished it. i was 13 so i didnt know what "being down bad" was but do know i was as obsessed with kurow as i was with d-ne later and now tenshi not a single irl friend was unaware i was in love with him. also fun fact for u bc at the same time i was also getting super into vocaloid i was so convinced my vocap name would end up as chibiP to the point i named myself that in pkmn x chibiP after chibiterasu of course. please enjoy my banger old art which is not even a fraction of my output

yume nikki is my next favorite game specifically the og that changed my brain chemistry as a kid. i adore that game so much its hard to put it into words. its just so unlike anything else. there is absolutely nothing in the game that can directly harm u theres no real health meter theres no way to die during the main play the absolute worst that will ever happen is u get stuck or woken up. in a horror game. which is already just amazing. and the whole horror aspect just plays on something i dont think is often done as well in many other things. ur alone. u wander and wander thru worlds that loop and connect and seemingly have nothing to do with each other. theres no dialogue; talking to npcs just gets u a noise or animation at best. ur entirely alone with just urself. its all dreams so u know everything is of madotsuki's own creation, another layer to the all u have is urself feeling. the art is just unusual i cant even say any of it on its own is in anyway scary. the whole thing shouldnt be scary and yet every time i start wandering in a world i cant help but feel unease. amazing 10/10 no other game will ever have what this gave me.

everyone knows i play pkmn the best is still pmd sky that also rewired my brain i still cant play it without crying.

its been a long time since i was really just playing it as the chapters released & got translated but 1bitheart is so so so important to me too. i dont kin for multiple reasons but if i did nanashi would be my first choice. like- without saying that to her i got my one irl friend to play once & when she saw how nanashi was she turned to me and went "this is just you" hes very important to me even now. absolutely loved the whole friendship sim & the story & its twists & the endings & their implications left me in shambles at 1 am on a school night. my fave charas are nanashi enri & saaya btw. i should replay this.

i also love the etrian odyssey series i love the character portraits (esp with the more recent games' color customization) i LOVE the dungeon art & i think all the monster designs are so cool. adore the whole make ur own map aspect keeps me so entertained to take a step & look around & chart all the walls & path ways. unfortunately i fucking suck at every single one i am not very good at strategy games so i end up stuck at or before the 3rd stratum. but thats okay its still fun to me.

the other one i'll talk about at length is spirit of the north another game i loved the art of. u play as a fox & get a partner spirit fox & i just love it SOOOO much. its also a game with 0 dialogue but theres A Lot going on it if u care to follow along & explore & dig into details & the game play is also pretty fun to me. this is the one game i started learning the speedrun btw thats also a very fun way to play it but ABSOLUTELY play it as intended first it has so much to offer

aaaand special mentions to omori, oneshot, witch's house, mermaid swamp, corpse party, & limbus company

[a-spell-a-rebel-yell]

April

hello lads & lasses! hope everything is well and everyone’s doing good 😊 i'm actually on time again because i'm done with all of my assignments hurrah!

April marked the end of Ramadan and all the fun it brought along, but my first Ramadan as an ortho resident was cool! spent a quiet Eid this year, just at home with my immediate family and enjoyed lazying around all day. it's quite funny how getting older doesn't change my opinion that staying in is still the best thing ever 😂

two days after Eid i got to watch Joko Anwar’s Siksa Kubur and i feel like i’m about to be a true cinephile lol as i left the cinema with so many things in my mind unrelated to the horror film but about faith and belief - like a true philosophy student 🤪 i love Jokan’s unorthodox approach to incite something in the audiences’ minds and hearts, his works really get you thinking critically. maybe not everyone’s cup of tea as some catalogued them as ‘boring’ or ‘pretentious’ but i guess you enjoy what you count as entertainment. not understanding his way of delving into things doesn’t exactly mean your brain doesn’t have the capability to process them, just that you simply do not seek recreation from it.

in line with faith and belief, it brings back to me this John Green quote from The Perks of Being A Wallflower: we accept the love we think we deserve - altered my brain chemistry when i read it the first time all those years ago - that the way you perceive things really does matter and control how you’re living your life. a simple example, if you think of happiness in a narrow and limited definition of such and such, it will be more than difficult to find happiness: you’ll be inclined to think life is perpetually hard, no joy at all, et cetera… only by gaining knowledge (therefore, wisdom) you can broaden your view and know that it’s all in every crevices of life. boom, life-changing way of thinking! which is why i don’t think humans will ever be able to judge why things happen the way they are or let alone try to defy Allah’s plans simply because of our finite and bounded point of view. this is where tawakkul plays its role (again, of course, Allah is always with us) and i just love how again and again belief and faith go hand in hand. and how knowing this - essentially having knowledge - is an omnipotent power!

about dealing with grief, no matter how many years have passed it is still grief. but it is also the solid proof that i am capable of such immense and intense love that too i can recognize grief of this unmeasurable degree. i’ve been shown and experienced how everything never went to waste, it all amounts to something. though bloodied and battered, it is with grace and dignity. my mind flitted back into one of my favorite quote from Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince, said by Harry himself (“It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew - and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents - that there was all the difference in the world.”) in summary? persevere and survive. endure and survive.

of course i am capable of forgiving, i am all about putting things behind in the past, all done’s begone. but it’s not necessarily that, to me it’s forgive but do not forget. it reminds me of the story of Rasulullah and Wahsyi (who killed Hamzah pbuh) how Allah understands Rasulullah’s feelings on the murder (if you’re not familiar with the story, read here) so, like a mere human being that i am, sometimes i contemplate about how the people who’ve caused me great suffering and once made my life a continuous torture can live their wonderful life happily, without guilt, with no repercussions whatsoever. my answer came a few weeks ago when i read this article mentioning how their punishment is who they are - and that stopped me in my tracks. the way those callous people never realized the extent of what they did to me, they tend to never learn - therefore never made themselves better and ingrained in their souls are the foul, immoral things they did. the stain of what they did will follow them in the way they will unconsciously carry the impulse wherever they go - they tend to repeat it again, which ensures the fact that they will get the consequences one way or another, for Allah is Just. added a new prayer to my repertoire: may i never be the reason someone has to force themselves to learn how to stop having breakdowns every once in a while…

in a lighter note, it’s one month before my very first ortho dept gathering and we still haven’t rehearsed the performance we need to do omg 😭 also can’t believe we’re reaching the end of second semester, marking my first year as an orthodontic resident! it's quite funny to me the way that the times i've visited the UI Depok campus can be counted by fingers... had my first ever offline exam at Depok and wow the campus is so spacious and i've been a Salemba girlie for so long the amount of students there kinda surprised me lol i'm so used to cramped spaces at Salemba 😭😭 but yeah to me it's Salemba > Depok simply because Depok's temperature is too hot! i can't stand it!

more of my friends are getting accepted into residency this year, and i'm delighted! though not everyone go to UI though, some chose Unpad and UGM. very proud of them! i've been persuading lots of my friends to go back to school 😂

anyways, that's all for this month, i'll get back to you on May's post! stay under shade, stay away from the sun, and make sure to hydrate yourself! take care 💙

[snow-in-the-desert]

Dramione Recommendations

Ok so, 2020 has been A LOT but on a personal note one of the most surprising things to happen was me discovering Dramione fanfiction and becoming unashamedly obsessed with it. I really didn’t see that coming but I’m here now and I’m here to stay. 

I think I started reading in the Dramione fandom around mid July last year?? (In all honesty I’ve lost any true sense of time’s progression at this point so I could be well off the mark with that) And I’ve decided to compile a list of all my favourite fics I’ve read so far. Why? I really just want to gush over all the amazing writers I have found through this fandom because y’all deserve it. 

Side note: If any of the authors actually sees this post just dm so I can buy you coffee or post you writing supplies or something idk I feel like that’s the least I can do for all your amazing work x

Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing

Ok I have to start with RN because this fic is pretty much the sole reason I decided to create an account with A03 or a tumblr or just decided to get involved with this fandom at all. 

I headcannon this story hard. But I think even if you aren’t a fan of Dramione you should just read this because it is so unbelievably good and well written and poignant and Draco’s sarcastic personality in this is truly a thing of beauty in this - I relate to his inner monologue’s on a deep personal level. 

I could rave about this story any time, any day of the week, just ask me. In fact, maybe I’ll just start a HeyJude19 fan club to fulfill that urge.

There are so many elements that I love but for the sake of brevity, RN is a beautifully told story of Draco and Hermione finding love and healing in a post-war HP setting. Heyjude19 had the very special ability of making me want to simulatenously laugh, cry and swoon with the power of her words. Just stop what you are doing and go read it now if you havent already, ok?  

I also really enjoyed reading Bells on a Hill, Beers, Potions and Unwise Notions and A Shift in Focus, if you are looking for smaller fics, definitely give these a go. They are all funny and heartfelt stoires that will make your tippy toes wriggle with glee. 

The Rights and Wrongs Series by @lovesbitca8

The Right Thing To Do, All The Wrong Things and The Auction are the holy trinity of Dramione writing. I have christened it thus, so mote it be. And frankly I’m not interested in any other opinion than that one, thank you very much!

After reading this series I don’t think I’ll be able to look back on the orginal HP books without thinking of Hermione’s and Draco’s memories of their time at Hogwarts in these fics as anything other than strictly cannon. 

So many things to love about this series but I think one of the major highlights was Hermione and Draco’s use of occlumency. LoveBitca8 created such beautiful visuals with how occlumency works as a magical practice and seeing Draco and Hermione so devoted to eachother to the point of safeguarding their inner most feelings to protect eachother was unbelievably romantic and poetic. 

Also the smut is divine ;)

Manacled by @senlinyu​

My heart will never be the same after reading this story. Like I actually can’t think about this fic without getting a lump at the back of my throat. I have never felt so emotionally ruined after reading anything, compared to the likes of this fic. Just please, please read it. To badly quote HP, reading Manacled will make you suffer but you’re going to be happy about it.

The flashbacks are a rollercoaster in of themselves but the way Hermione inadvertently refers to them when she is still in a state of memory loss was so heartbreaking to read. My heart still aches for them both. Also its a truly satisfying to see Draco and Hermione written in a way were they are both so fiercly protective of one another. They make my insides go soft. 

I also really enjoyed Snow Fall, Now Is A Gift and All You Want by the author but to be honest anything written by Senlinyu is always thoroughly enjoyable and worth a look. 

The Erised Effect by @adaprix​

Ada is QUEEN of dramione smut but ‘The Erised Effect’ is top tier. Its equal parts funny, romantic, sentimental and oh so sexy. Ada really knows how to build and build on sexual tension and doesn’t disappoint on the final delivery. I’m a big admirer of her writing style and just veraciously read whatever she posts but ‘The Erised Effect’ is just golden. A must read. (Also Pansy’s sexual fantasy in this story is a visual I don’t think I’ll ever be able to remove from my brain so thanks for that Ada)

Also quick side note: Adaprix’ stories were the first I read when I was looking into this fandom and it was enough to get me hooked on the pairing from the get go so I have that to thank Ada for too. I remember devouring all the stories she had posted to A03 and when I was done I was like... now what am I supposed to do with my life?? And that’s basically when I began to look deeper into the fandom and thus the course of my life in 2020 changed for the better. 

Some other stories I love by her are Break for Me, All My Sins, The Big 4-0, The Fucklust Series and The Flat in Bath. 

Clean by @olivieblake​

This 6th Year AU where Draco and Hermione work together on a class assignment and end up falling in love had me feeling all kinds of ways when I read it. I almost don’t know where to start but I think one of the stand out things for me was how immersed I felt in reading it. 

Hogwarts is captured really well, you get a good sense of class atmospheres, character nuances and behind the scenes of events that happen in HBP but from a Draco and Hermione’s perspectives. It’s well executed and intricate tapestry of a fic. With an excellent plot twist ending! 

Also Hermione and Draco’s relationship in this is equal parts fluffy and smutty and it just ticks all the right boxes that you want to see for those characters ;)

Breath Mints / Battle Scars by @onyx-and-elm​

The angst in this one is just *chef’s kiss*

God I love this fic. The way Draco is portrayed is very true to his defensive and tetchy character in the original books but he is also given so much more depth. The way his diary entries are written are just so well executed. It’s a true testament to the author’s creative writing skill. And I LOVE how even though Draco is clearly in such a messed up place, he still has a basic level of self respect and dignity that he won’t tolerate being used or undervalued in his relationship with Hermione. 

Yep, I really love Draco’s characterisation in this one if you can’t tell.  But Hermione is also well written too. Her stuggles and trauma of returning to Hogwarts after war is described in a believable and grounded way. And my heart definitely ached for them both. I just wanted to wrap the pair of them in a big fuzzy blanket and tell them that everything will be alright. 

WANDS OUT! by @persephonestone​

This murder mystery / Dramione / Theo x Harry / AU crossover is everything I didn’t know I wanted until I read it. I felt like I was picked up and plonked right into an alternative dimension where all the characters of HP are just living it up in an Agatha Christie novel. 

It’s a funny and clever story that I found refreshing to read amongst all the other fanfics that are usually cemented in the HP timeline or universe. Theodore Nott in this fic is perfection he should be written like this in every fic from now on in my opinion. I couldn’t stop giggling any time he had a scene in the story.

And the ‘only one bed’ trope in this fic is 10/10. I don’t want to give spoilers but ohmygod. It hits all the right notes. 

The One With Technical Difficulties by cassielassie 

Cassielassie has an excellent three part series of Dramone called ‘The One with...” but I have to give special credit to this story in particular for one main reason. ELEVATOR TROPES. I can’t get enough of em. I think I have my early childhood viewings of NCIS to thank for my obsession with elevator tropes they just do something to me that simply cannot be explained with mere words. The palpable sexual tension of being in a broken down elevator with an ‘enemies to lovers’ pairing, a heated arguement breaks out followed by a discovery of mutual feelings and a romantic embrace...

Eugh. It gets me everytime. And this fic is no exception. I loved it for all the reasons I’ve already stated above but also for the attention to detail in Draco and Hermione’s careers makes this one particularly immersive. The dynamics between them established in this one-shot are convincingly portrayed and the chemistry between them is so undeniably hot. 

The Light is No Mystery by @masterofinfinities​

Yooo if you want to read a dramione fic that is a deep dive into Pureblood culture and Post-War recovery but is also a perfect allegory for discrimination and today’s political landscape of moral grandstanding for votes then look no further than this one. 

This story has a bit of everything. Intrigue, mystery, ptsd and recovery, enemies to lovers / secret relationship, government conspiracy and humour, to name a few. I eargerly await every update to this story and am anxious to know how it ends!

The Eagle’s Nest by HeartOfAspen 

Finally! A fic that gives me the Ravenclaw representation I crave. I think I could recommend this fic on the lore depicted of Ravenclaw house alone. ‘The Stacks’ and Rowena Ravenclaw’s own ‘come and go room’ are just such cool details that I could see being real in the HP universe. 

This fic is so cosy and makes me feel like I’m just popping back into Hogwarts for another year. You get to see all the usuals like prof. Mcgongall, Nearly headless Nick, PEEVES, Hagrid, as well as learn more about minor characters from the other school houses. The story follows Hermione going to her day to day classes and there are interesting concepts about magic and alchemy that are explored. 

Draco and Hermione’s relationship in this one is of course very fluffy and heartfelt. But it’s the attention to detail that really makes this fic outstanding and the experience of reading it feels fleshed out and true to HP universe.

A shorter fic by HeartofAspen that I recommend is one called Set in Stone, it has an adventurous, Indianna Jones vibe to it, that I am so down for. 

Teachable Moments by @purplesugarquills

In this fic Hermione is an innocent little virgin determined to learn everything about sex. And Draco Malfoy is her tutor. If that isn’t enough to get you on board then I don’t know what is. Both Heartfelt and Steamy. PurpleSugarQuills writes smut so well but it’s the progression of their growing attachment and the nervous treading of new uncharted waters of romantic relationships for both of them that just adds a whole other level of feels to the story. Also chapter 9 is like reading poetry - its so good. Eugh just give it a read if you haven’t already.

Les Pèlerins by @pacific-rimbaud

This story is high art. It’s transcendent. Reading this story feels like the emotional equivalent of standing around a hundred glowing fairy lights, sipping hot cocoa and being wrapped in the loving embrace of a s/o. I can’t speak my praises highly enough or even become passably coherent in my words when I try to articulate a review. 

From the very first paragraph I felt like I was just whisked away on a Parisian holiday and I’ve never even bloody been to Paris but damn it if this story didn’t make me feel like I was there. The writing style is just so tactile and intense it’s like I could feel the cold winter air brush against me as I read it. Eugh I just completely fell in love with the story and the writer. 

New Year’s resolution. Read everything PacificRimbaud has ever posted online. 

[chomperzlove]

Laito, Say MY Name, Smutt

@little-quote-land Here you go my love! My first request! YAY!!! I really hope you like it! I'm sorry if its trash! if you have any suggestions or comments, please let me know!

Laito X O/C Misaki

As soon as the brothers left the mansion, Misaki launched herself into Laito’s arms, their lips colliding into a skin melting kiss. The sparks between them ignited a white hot flame of passion that coursed through their bodies, and all the tension and build up over the months they had been dating melted. Every flirtatious remark, every lingering touch and every time Misaki was the one to pull away from Laito, was a stab in her loins, but nothing was going to stop her now. She craved him just as much as he craved her. Laito wrapped his arms around Misaki’s waist and shoved her into the wall. His tongue traced her lower lip, asking for entrance. She eagerly opened her mouth and their tongues danced around the caves of each other's mouths, making both Laito and Misaki moan. One of her hands gripped the back of his neck as she let her other trail down his chest to the bulge in his pants. Laito groaned and smirked against her mouth as she gave his growing cock a squeeze.

“My, my,” Laito chuckled huskily, “I knew you would come around little bitch.” Misaki grinned and looked up into his lust clouded emerald green eyes. The heat between her legs intensified as she took in his gorgeous features. Sensing her growing arousal, Laito pulled Misaki closer to his chest and pressed his lips against hers before flashing them to his room. Once inside, Laito grabbed her by the ass and lifted her up, making Misaki wrap her legs around his waist as he carried her to his bed. Trailing sweet kisses down her neck and across her jaw, Laito hummed in delight at her whimpers as he settled himself between her legs. “You made up the excuse of being sick just so you could stay home and take me didn't you?” He asked with a dark chuckle. Misaki nodded and sat up grabbing the hem of his shirt and tugging it over his head. “You are such a dirty little bitch.” Laito growled when her hands went for his pants. He stopped her wrist and brought it behind her head pressing his lips to hers as he laid her back down. Laito’s hands wandered down her chest and sides before reaching the hem of Misaki’s shirt and swiftly removing it and unhooking her bra at the same time. She let out a gasp at his skills and Laito chuckled. Before he could say anything else, Misaki pulled him down on top of her with another needy kiss and thrusted her hips up to meet his. When the kiss finally broke, the two of them were panting and aching to be rid of the pieces of fabric that kept them from becoming one.

Butterflies formed in Miskai’s stomach as she watched the red headed vampire drop his pants to the floor. She wasnt a virgin, but there was something deep within her that told her that sex with Laito was about to change her life forever, and oh how right she was. He stared down at her, taking in her beauty once he had tugged her pants and panties off and a low growl of lust and hunger escaped his chest. With a seductive smirk, Laito leaned down to her face and peppered her with kisses and nibbles from her ears to her hips. Moaning and squirming beneath him, Misaki’s juices flowed down her thighs.

“Look how wet you are for me.” Laito cooed as he ran a finger down her sensitive slit. Misaki arched her back and moaned loudly at the contact. “Do you want more Little Bitch?”

“‘Yes! Laito, I need more!” Misaki groaned. Without hesitation, Liato slid one of his slender fingers inside her and hooked it up to her sweet spot and began pumping against it, sending shivers of pleasure through her body. She cried out as he added another finger and her walls started to tighten when they pumped faster. “Ah! Ah! L-Laito, I’m gonna ngh mm ah!” Misaki screamed as she came, her body trembling and begging for more. Laito slowly removed his fingers and climbed on top of her, lining his cock up with her entrance. He looked into her eyes and moaned when they widened and rolled back as he entered her.

“Ah! Little Bitch, you're so tight!” Laito moaned and thrusted his hips slowly. Misaki was a moaning mess beneath him. She knew he was big, but shit! She didn't realize how much he would fill her. Her hips began to thrust with his, pushing him deeper inside her. “Ah!Ng!” Laito moaned as she arched her back and he thrusted into her harder and faster, trying to move at a pace where she could keep up but he gave up on that when Misaki tightened her walls around him. “Fuck!” Laito roared and pounded into her faster than humanly possible. Their moans turned into screams and the knot in Misaki’s stomach tightened and was about to explode. She could tell Laito was about to orgasm as well, his cock twitched inside her and his eyes were screwed tightly shut. “Ah! Nhg Laito!” Misaki screamed as she was about to come, “Ah! HMM AHHA!-”

Misaki froze, her orgasm stopped dead in its tracks. Laito had just screamed a name as he filled her with his seed. But not her name.

“Laito, who the fuck is Kora?” (sorry Misaki, Kora’s a bit of a hoe and I couldn't resist throwing my O/C in here.)

“What do you mean, little bitch?” Laito cooed, cocking his head to the side, playing like he didn't know what she was talking about. Misaki growled and shoved him off of her. With a huff, she grabbed her clothes from the floor and darted down the hallway to her room.

“Come on little bitch,” Liato cooed from the other side of the locked door, “Don't be mad, it just slipped out, that's all.” Misaki didn't know what to say. It just slipped out? She snapped in her head. What bullshit. Misaki flopped face down onto her bed and took a deep breath. “Misaki, please open the door.” Laito called again with a knock, “I’m sorry. I don't know what came over me. I was only thinking of you, I swear, please don't be mad at me.”

Misaki stayed silent. She knew that If she said anything else, it would end in disaster. She was beyond furious. Who the fuck calls out another woman's name like that? She yelled to herself, slamming her fists into the mattress at her sides. Eventually Laito stopped calling for her and had gone away, leaving Misaki alone to think.

Time skip

It had been 3 weeks since that night with Laito, and Misaki had gone through all the emotions. She stayed away from him for the first few days, silently crying in her room, but the tears of heartbreak soon turned to tears of rage and she fought the urge to beat the shit out of him whenever he knocked on her door. She even tried to break up with him, but eventually she forgave him. I mean, we are talking about Laito afterall, the dudes slept with more women than Ron Jeremy, so there was bound to be a mix up sooner or later and Misaki knew all of this when they started dating. She accepted all his flaws and his past. Plus come on! How can you stay mad at someone who looks at you like that (insert sexy Laito image here) all the time? Misaki wanted to deny the chemistry between them, but she couldn't. The only thing she could do was go back to the way it was before. She would pull away from his advances before they got too heated and again, it was like being stabbed in the loins. Laito didn't make it easy for her either. He turned his charm level up to 1,000 when she forgave him and did everything he could do to make her fall for him all over again.

Misaki was reading in her room when a knock came at the door. She knew who it was instantly and rolled her eyes. “Come in!” She called.

“Hey there, Little Bitch,” Laito cooed as he entered her room, “Are you busy?”

“That depends,” Misaki replied with a snarky chuckle, “What do you want?”

“I want to show you something.” Laito responded. His voice was pure silk, and it melted her. With a sigh, she stood up and took his outstretched hand. When Misaki was in his arms he planted a sweet kiss to her lips and before she could pull away from him, flashed them into his room. “I want to show you how sorry I am and how much I truly love you.” Laito whispered. Dozens of white candles were lit across the room, and red and white rose petals littered the floor and formed a heart on the bed. Misaki’s heart dropped, and she internally swooned. “I want to forget that night and make this our first time. Let me make it up to you, Misaki.” Laito said softly as he took her chin in his fingers. Misaki had to pull herself away from him a little before she jumped into him.

“Laito this is beautiful,” Misaki whispered “But-” Before she could finish, Laito cut her off with a kiss so heartfelt and loving that her brain turned to mush. “O-okay.” Was all she could say when Laito pulled away from her lips. He smiled and pulled her closer to him, one hand behind her head as he kissed her again and his other pressed against the small of her back. Misaki threw her arms around his neck and sighed into his lips. Laito picked her up and carried her to the bed without breaking the passionate kiss.

“I love you, Misaki.” Laito said against her lips as he laid her down.

“I love you too, Laito.” She replied with a smile.

The passion and pleasure that rolled through their bodies as they made love made them both forget that he had once called out another name. The only memory they will share of their first time was this one, and when Laito fell over the edge of ecstasy with Misaki, he made sure the whole world knew who had brought him such pleasure.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Shadow Into Light (Lena Restrospective) Finale!: Lena In Season 3! (Commission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people and welcome to the FINAL part of my look at the life and times of Lena Sabrewing. It’s been a long and satsifying journey through the character’s rich arc and some of Ducktales 2017′s best episodes. Lena started as a tourtured but complacient teen willing to do bloody awful evil things if it meant her freedom, who through the power of love and friendship realized what she was doing wrong, that she loved Webby and turned on Magica... and after a brief stint of this going horribly wrong a magica simply just bodyjacked her, she sacrificed herself for Webby he story seemingly done. Of course it wasn’t, Disney woudln’t let them kill a teenager... fully grown lion men horrifcally decaying indiana jones style yeah, of course it’s disney, but killing a teen is where they draw the line. Point is Lena was merley trapped in the shadow realm with a bunch of those guys Yugi beat and with the help of everyone’s faviorte stoic hummingbird, freed Lena. Lena found new family in Violet.. but also found dying is easy but living is harder and had to wrestle with both her fears of turning out like Magica and Magica herself who naturally was gaslighting her to try and get the last scraps of her power back. We also took a detour or two to see where she came from: looking at both Minima De Spell and her rivalry with a 34 year pretending to be a small child, and Magica’s Shadow whose like Lena except almost nothing like Lena. We also took a look at her one comic apperance which was never released here for some reason and was incredibly disapointing. 

So yeah i’ts been one long, fun ride filled with gay subtext, launchpad’s spider sense, giant legs, movie refrences from warriors to jaws to nightmare on elm street 3: the dream warriors, toddlers who look and probably are 34, launchpad apparently huffing enough paint to damage his brain as that’s the only way to explain the terror of the terrafirmains subplot and gay subtext. I’ve enjoyed every step of the way so before I take the last one of those steps, i’d like to thank all of ya for reading this. I’ve gained at least 10 if not more followers off this series alone and I appricate all of you. I’d also like to thank Kev for directly comissioning this, keeping me in work and in x-men comics since 2020. 

As you can probably guess by the title.. this one’s a bit different. This is a combination of two things: The first is that i already reviewed “The Phantom and the Sorceress” when I was reviewing each episode of Season 3 as it came out.  My thoughts have not changed  at all so I felt redoing that review would be redudant and a waste of Kev’s money. The same goes for Split Sword, which has the extra issue of  being a three story episode with only one of the parts starring the focus of this retrospective. The second is while she shows up about the same amount as season 2, her apperances in season 3 outside of her Christmas Cameo are all more substaial outside of her two starring roles. Both COTHJSW and The Last Adventure shed some more light on our faviorite shadow and feel like natural evolutions of her character so it felt wrong to just flat out ignore them. 

So rather than do a full review of the episodes i’m just going to go into Lena’s apperances for Season 3. This way I can cover Phantom again without fully repeating myself, and fully track the last steps Lena takes as the series closes out in a fresh and hopefully enjoyable way. So join me under the cut for one last step into the shadows as we finish bringing Lena into the light. 

Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks!

Challenge was one of the very first Ducktales I ever talked about on here, alongside Quack Pack, so it’s quite a trip returning to it a year later, even if i’ts just my memories of it. It’s also an excellent episode, with a great and engaging main plot and a “it’s just kind of there” subplot. 

It’s also one of the only three episodes to focus on Violet, and one of only two that focuses just on her and not on Lena in any way. It is a shame: While I love Lena as a character, I wouldn’t of just spent several weeks talking about her if I wasn’t getting paid for this retrospective or not, Violet is equally intriguing and so i’ll be taking a second out to talk about her as I really HAVEN’T gone into her character this retrospective and given how important she is to Lena and to all of us, most Lena fans like Violet just as much and vice versa. I’ll still be talking about Lena in this episode, obviously, but I feel her sister from two misters deserves some time in the spotlight too as the show only gave her three episodes, and one was more focused on Webby and Lena by design and the other we’ll get to. 

Violet is an excellent character. She speaks well and with little emotion but that’s just how she is and she’s never called out for it or insulted, something I like. Likewise she dosen’t judge others, never really batting an eye at the rest of the groups own quirks and at most being freaked out by leg huey a bit. She’s just a kind, curious, intellgent young lady. 

And this episode shows that off: We get to see her in the spotlight of her own, every bit the Woodchuck Huey is and more, but still supporting and encouring him, seeing their contest as a friendly one and putting no stakes into it as she’s failed before, she can fail again. What matters is she get back up and keep going. Her “razzing” is also just downright adorable, and nicely shows off her and Lena’s new dynamic: they’ve gone from friends to siblings, something really not shown off last time and something that wason’t confirmed on screen till now but it just works naturally, the cool and collected but chaotic underneath that lena just plays perfectly off the uttelry calm and deadpan violet. It’s a natural, perfect dynamic that they clearly had mapped out from the beggining and simply had to build up to that. 

Her genuine shock at Huey’s betryal... hurts the heart, as she genuinely thinks it’s her fault and not just my boy having a panic attack and doing something questionable. But it also shows her character.. when givne the same opprunity and no guilt for it, he struck first.. she dosen’t. She saves him because it’s the right thing to do and shows Huey she really is the bettter woodchuck.. but htere’s no shame in it. It’s okay to fail, what matters is you keep trying. And as a result despite giving Huey the opporunity to win with her.. he turns it down. She gets a deserved win, celebrating with her family and just wearing the most adorable smile. She also just has.. buckets of chemistry with Huey. I mean it was apparent to me with the whole Library Scene in Nightmare but god damn do they ramp it up with this one. They just contrast each other perfectly here, the handshake is adorable and he clings to her.. while also being hilarious “I naturlaly defer to authority!”. I will take this ship to my grave, and fully support it... that being said if you ship Huey/Boyd or all three togehter, go for it man. I do the latter sometimes. Your good. You didn’t need me to tell that but sometimes shipping discorse can get downright ugly so rather than make it a war between two ships, I just wanted to offer an olive branch for once you know? Same with Weblena. I obviously adore that ship but if you have a non-boys ship with her, tha’ts cool too. Ship what you want to.. i’m just doing me through this retrospective. 

Now back to Lena. Her apperance in this episode is really heartwarming and really nice after all the shit she’s been through. This is the first episode she’s in where NOTHING bad happens to her. No really, every apperance, even her two cameos had her suffer in some way. She spent the entire first season grappling with Magica, and her season 2 apperances trapped in a shadow dimension and nearly loosing her girlfriend to her own jealously, horrifically stalked by her abuser using her own self doubt against her, attacked by a literal tempest in a tea pot and captured by aliens. The girl has not gone one friggin onscreen break since the series started and probably not many off it either. 

Here? She just gets to cheer her little sister, proudly celebrating both her and her new dads. She gets to teach her sister to trash talk, even if that ends up backfiring a bit but she meant well. And she gets to celebrate with her family when her little sister wins. It’s all small stuff.. but it’s all things she’s NEVER had. A sibling to be proud of and support. Dads to sit with and go places with. A family to celebrate things with. This is all pretty normal stuff, but not something everyone gets to have and something Lena NEVER had even remotely. But now she’ll ALWAYS have that. A supportive loving family to give her a place to belong, and to support in turn. After a nightmarish 14-15 years of existance, she’s FINALLY allowed to just be happy without having to fight a giant monster first. 

She’s finally made it, she’s hoped and she’s waited, for the first time in her life she dosen’t feel alone. Her hearts started to heal, to know this is real, this is how it feels.. to have a home. Yes I haven’t given up on that song. And if you think this is the last time i’m going to quote a song you clearly didn’t read the review I did of the next episode. 

The Phantom and the Sorceress:

Season 3′s primary focus outside of the FOWL plot was tying up loose ends. Pretty much every major recurring episode outside of Fethry got an episode tying up their character arc and of course Lena was no exception.

You’d think with Magica no longer a threat to her and having fully accepted she’s a good person now, and having found a place to belong that Lena was done.  But while she accepted her past, that she’s not magica, and that she deserves to be happy.. she never accepted Magic as part of her despite being made of it and that’s what this episode ties up as well as the mystery of the blue aura that surronded her magic at times. 

The episode starts with Lena’s amulet, which she has back now which is the only part of this episode I don’t like as they don’t really explain why she’d take it back from Violet. But her magic keeps goofing up and making Sleepovers dangerous, and gets Scrooge grousing about how magic is bad.. only to naturally backpedal when an angry Webby points out Lena is magic. He does amend things and genuinely apologize for it, having not meant her at all and not even thinking of her as part of his hatred of the stuff. It also shows why Lena likely didn’t take him up on his offer.. with her self loathing still going she probably thought he was just pitting her and would always resent her.. when really he just geninely did not care despite his overwhelming hate of magic. It worked out granted, she found a better fit for her family wise.

But Lena hates it too.. and while she hasn’t fully brought it up before it makes perfect sense: We saw how she viewed it as dangerous and not worth the risk to bring her back in Friendship Hates Magic and Magic has brought her nothing but pain, nearly killing her on several occasions, allowing magica to fuck with her head  or directly control her and general putting the one person she cares about more than anyone in harms way. She hates what she is.. because it’s brought her nothing but pain and misery. She has ever reason to resent it..

Yet this episode is about forcing her to accept it.... to realize that Magic is part of who she is, and that it’s not inherently good or bad, it’s all about the intent of who uses it. Her last two uses of it were not made with any malice and in fact using it to pull her friends into her dreams allowed her to break free of Magica. 

And it’s perfectly done by giving her a new enemy, something I REALLY wish tehy’d done with Fenton at some point, but get why it took this long with Lena: The Phantom Blot. The Phantom Blot, like many characters in this series is HEAVILY redone: he keeps the iconic look and threat level but instead of being an operatic supervillian, he’s an anti-villian with a link to magic he never really had before. He works with FOWL sure but it’s likely because unlike the rest of FOWL he actually agrees with Bradford’s goal for a less chaotic world and his desire to wipe out magic is perfectly in line with that. 

He’s also given a backstory that perfectly parallels him with Lena: Both were created by Magica in a way and horribly abused by her: Lena mentally and phsycially, and Blot by having to suffer under her rule after he took over her family and then barely survivie as she wiped out his villiage, his family and his normal life swearing vengance on her. LIke Lena magica didn’t care about him or see him as a threat, figuring like most people who swore eteneral vengance on her he’d get swatted down like a gnat once and never return. INstead he returned again and again and again for decades, learning each time getting stronger and wiping out more magic along the way. He went from what was probably a good normal person to a vengeful vigliante dedicated to wiping out magic good or bad because he can’t concieve that it isn’t ALL bad. He’s easily what Lena could’ve become if , ironically enough she hadn’t encountered him, seeing the end result of hating something just for what it is as it tried to murder her. That hating and resenting Magic would just lead her to become as hollow and vengful as the blot, having a good cause to start.. but slowly loosing yourself to hate and anger. Letting the person who ruined your life still control it simply by focusing all your energy on hating them and people like them. 

It also gives us an interesting and painful teamup as with the boys and Scrogoe stuck in another dimension, there’s only one person they can turn to deal with Magic: Magica herself, whose resulted to depression eating pizza and the most she can do as a threat is eat the garlic Violet was wearing in case of vampires (”There now your susceptible to vampires!” is easily the best joke of the episode, from how Magica eats the garlic in one bite to her manical laugh to Violet just being annoyed rather than terrified or anything). Magica only agrees because they have a common enemy and if he sucks up her magic amulet, that’s the end of any magic she has left. 

It’s also here we learn the reason for the blue and purple color coding: Duckworld magic is indeed color coded.. but rather than be based ont he emotions used or anything.. it’s based on the user. The purple is Magica, and as we later learn Poe’s, magic, and thus Lena borrowing it via the amulet. The Blue is HER magic. Tapping into her emotions and her own inante power. It’s a nice twist I didn’t see coming but makes absolute sense in hindsight: Every time she’s triggered it.. it’s been when she’s been using her own emotions and been doing thigns for her own good, and not for anyone elses. It also explains why the Magica powers aren’t working for her or stable: their not HERS to control and thus are fighting her. 

So she trains to use her own using the time honorted traditions of montages and having your sibling shoot things at you out of a magical amulet. She grows in her talent and power and herself, even if she learns from the person she hates more and comes to accept magic.. in time to fight the Blot who misguidedly thinks harming her will show Magica the pain he felt.. even though as we learn later that ship already sailed and we already knew she cares nothing for Lena. 

But as he drains her amulet... she focuses on what she cares about... and if we didn’t already ahvea  MOUNTAIN of subtext for webby and lena her “frienddship” montage has maybe one or two shots of her sister.. and about 80 of webby. Seriously they.. they weren’t even hiding it at this poitn outside of the finale, which we’ll get to. 

And so she takes hold of her magic, no longer need the amulet to channel it and taking on her super mode! Which was highly contreversal at the time.  BUt I get why. As a transformation, ala dragon ball, and a superhero type costume it works, giving her a power and grandeur not seen before and showing she’s using all of it, giving weight to when it only shows up in the finale when she needs it most and likely would’ve given it weight any other time it showed up. But it wasn’t clear if this was her permenant look now and Frank’s response to it was to say he wanted to dress everyone up in that outfit , at the same size Lena has it, including launchpad wearing it like a cape. Which while hilarious and it was, was also blatant trolling as her return in Split Sword showed it wasn’t her default form, and they could relax. But as a form showing the apex of her power, character development and confidence, it works and has all the drama i’d expect from a form like this, reflecting the blot’s power back onto him and overloading the gauntlet and facing down Magica easily. 

It’s the perfect way to cap things off... Lena finally acccepts herslef as she is fully: she’s not evil and neither is magic.. magic is a part of her and her power is not something to hate.. but to embrace. To use to protect the world from people LIKE Magica who would misue their power to harm others or the blot who belivie her power is inherently evil. This is a lena freed from the chains of self hatred, fully accepted. It turns her story into a wonderful, beautiful story of escaping abuse and accepting yourself as who you are, that no matter what you are or where you come from, you are beautiful, you are good and you can do good. And as she flies off with her sister and girlfriend, she’s finally, fully, truly at peace with who she was who she is now and flies into the future.. and to free her girlfirends dad from another dimension. Nothing is holding her back now, no one can push her around, she’s who she wants to be, she’s the master of her, and the thoughts enough to lift her off of the ground. She and Webby are independent together and they are flying. And yes i’m linking the song again. 

But even with her character Arc Wrapped she still could support others in their own growth. Case in point:

The Split Sword of Swanstantine!

This was the vingette episode, with a pair of the kids, one from Team Magic the other from the Duck Boys, going after a piece. And while Violet’s segment is neat it dosent’ really expand on her enough for me to go into it like I did with Challenge, so i’ll only be covering the cold open and Lena and Huey’s segment. Given these two are some of my faviorites, Lena hasn’t really gotten to have any meaningful interactoins with anyone besides Webby, Violet and Magica (And scrooge but for like.. two minutes), and this bit is really creative and intresting I loved it. It also has Steelbeak so I got a nice Jason Mantzokus fix on top of that despite him barely getting to speak in this one.. and really all season. Season 3 REALLY wasted Steelbeak, only using him three times and just ignoring the whole idea of him growing more compitent with time. Maybe Frank’s saving that for darkwing duck if he gets to do that I dunno. At least Invincible and Close Enough are using the man properly so I got that. 

THe setup to the episode as a whole is comedic gold: Scrooge has taken the kids to Monocrow to find the split sword, one of the missing mysteries before FOWl.. only to then realizze in one of the best jokes of the season, after HOURS of plane travel probably that Violet and Lena had also come along having slept over and thus spending the episode in their sleep clothes. As Violet puts it in LIebe’s best delivery of the series “You said eveyrone get on the plane so we got on the plane”. So, fricking relatable. Scrooge’s awkard “Do you.. like history?” is also great, David is a treasure, as if he’s just now realizing he really dosen’t know Webby’s closest friend and girlfriend and is scrambling for some common ground so he can stop talking. 1/2′s good enough and we’re off. 

Lena and Huey’s plot, the final one of the three, likewise has a simple setup: Huey finds the sword piece.. and also Steelbeak, whose ready to punch  him some children. Lena freezes time as she can do that but can’t delay the inveitble, just give them time to plan. 

And this is a nice showcase for Huey and a nice chance for Lena to be snarky as Huey wants to try anything and everything he can do that dosen’t involve fighting as he hates it and Lena endulges him as he gets tossed around, playing on her phone while he tries dumb scheme after dumb scheme from prtending to be his dad, to his inner child, to construction to offering him a snack, to “what sword piece” while hodling the sword blade twice his side behind his back.

Lena eventually calls him on it: He can’t keep avoiding this and there’s some reason he dosen’t want to fight. The reason turns out to be he bruce bannered himself and thus has a split personality for all his agression and primal rage, the duke of making a mess,  Huey’s version fo the McDuck family anger he’s buried away and is ashamed of, hating his  more impuslive emotions due to his desire for control. 

As for how Lena impacts this.. it’s her own acceptance of the part of her she hated, her magic, that gives her the clarity to help Huey, helping him realize like her this shit isn’t healthy and to make peace with the Duke instead of fighting him and locking him away. The result is a perfect combo: a huey with all the power and strength of a mcduck, but the nuance and tactics Huey normally has to beat Steelbeak easily. Lena is impressed, a friendship is forged and we see how far sh’es come: from hating herself.. to helping others stop doing it before it gets worse. 

How Santa Stole Christmas!

All we really learn here is that she and Violet share a room and a king sized bed.. but we got that cheek smooch and I had to mention that so there you go. 

The Last Adventure!:

Like most of the main cast Lena gets a decent note to go out on, if a bit wobbly. The wobblyiness comes from two sources. The first is just a nitpick of mine; We don’t get to see the climax of her fight with the Blot alongside Manny. No really. The Blot got two spotlight episodes, his own sidekick/wife/amy sedaris, and was built up as one of FOWL’s biggest threats.. and his defeat isn’t even shown on screen for some damn reason. I feel they just ran out of time but given how important Lena and Manny were series wide and how awesome the keith david reveal was, it’s a cop out

Speaking of Cop Outs we can’t talk about this episode without talknig about the elephant in the room: Lena saying Webby “already has two sisters”, seemingly shooting down any posiblity of Weblena. I do not see it that way but do feel the two could’ve phrased it better and we could’ve gotten SOME Weblena by the end instead of none to offset this. I feel Lena’s motivations, esecpailly given the context were purely to try and placate Webby to keep her from investigating the twins further and endangering herself, not realizing how badly this wouldn’t work as Lena’s never cared about where she comes from and her past is all pain and abuse before Webby, while Webby had this gnawing at her her whole life. I do think the last episode was the WORST POSSIBLE place to put this, as it comes off as queerbaiting evne though I don’t think that was the intent. So yeah this line sucks and was poorly conveyed. 

Everything else though is thankfully excellent: Her raging frekaout at June feels warranted, as June is literally trying to cut Webby out of her life and was purposffully trying to galight webby as we find out. Her and Violet’s reason for going is also just pure awesome, pure heartwarming and pure badass, both angrily and simply proclaming when stating why their going on the final attack no fowl “It’s Webby”. Webby helped Lena become a better person and lnvoes her more than anyone else and vice versa and Webby gave Violet Friends, a sister and a life of her own. Nothings going to stop them and Scrogoe wisely backed down on that one before they strangled him. 

Her final scene is the best though: Not only do she and Violet give May and June friendship braclets but despite the earlier hostlitlity... Lena helps them with not a second though. She now understands them, gets that their like her: a being made by an evil dickhead who saw them as a tool to use and not a person and was willing to kill them the moment they were no longer useful. She too was once lost, sad and felt alone..but Webby pulled her out of that and now she’s going to be there for these two, these alterante versions of the love of her life, to give them the same support and encourages them they’ll find their home. And sure enough my boy comes by not a second later to adopt both of them. In an instnat they’ve gone from alone with only webby like Lena was.. to having a family of their own and loyal friends to stay by their sid.e 

And so Lena ends the series charing off into the wild blue with her sister and her newfound friends, the future all ahead of her, the past finally put to bed, and herself finally at peace, in love with Webby.. and with herself at long last. 

This retrospective was a wonderful time. I throughly enjoyed going through Lena’s history and being more and more impressed how much I’d missed and how it was even BETTER the second time around. This arc is Ducktales at it’s best and Lena is the finest thing they acomplished. This is easily Kimiko Glenn’s best role and really let her show off her range. Hopefully this isn’t the last we’ll see of this wonderful lesbian shadow, but as it stands with peace, love and self worth found, it’s still a good place to leave her. If she ever returns i’ll of course pick this up again, and free of charge but for now I enjoyed the ride and throughly enjoyed this retrospective. T

Thank you all so much for reading. If you liked this retrospective, please stick around. My next comissioned story arc is covering the various crossovers Lilo and Stitch did, but after that in three weeks return here for Season 2. All three arcs, All done intermidtley. Buckle up. 

Until then follow for more, and join my patreon. My next stretch goal is monthly reviews of darkwing duck and reviews of the super ducktales mini series, and after finsihing this post i’m going to throw in some extra non-duck ones! 25 is being changed up from covering Tailspin every month, to covering a Danny Phantom episode every month, and the beloved special ultimate enemy. So check that out. I may throw in some more on both 20 and 25 so stay posted. And just for joining at the 2 dollar tier you get acess to my discord server and get to pick one of the shorts for my varoius shortstaculars I do. Next one up is goofy’s birthday with Donalds in june so join now! 

ANd if you just have one speciifc episode I haven’t covered you’d like me to, those are 5 bucks a pop on commission and available via my ask box, direct messages on here or discord at technicolormuk#6550 and until the next rainbow i’ts been a pleasure

[naturalswimmingspirit]

tigrislife

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” ~Maya Angelou

I have learned over the years I am not my past. I am not what happened to me, and I am not my physical body. My body is a vehicle that takes me through this world. I want you to know that you are amazing and perfect just the way you are. Criticize yourself less, love yourself more, and you will be happier.

True beauty is found within. We have been brainwashed to think that perfection is outside of ourselves. The perfect house, car, family, and life. The perfect body. The perfect pose. We have been brainwashed to strive for perfection. All this striving makes us miserable. We can have goals, work toward them, and become better at things, but when we identify them with who we are, it steals our joy.

If there is something you don’t like, change it, but don’t identify with it. Every day be the best you that you can be by loving yourself.

Look in the mirror every morning and pick something nice to say to yourself. You may think that this is ridiculous and obvious, but we spend more time looking in the mirror criticizing than honoring ourselves. Make this a daily habit. You can even use a favorite quote or affirmation to set the tone for the day.

Another tip toward self-love is meditation. This is scientifically proven to change the chemistry in the brain, reduce depression, and change negative thought pattern among other things.

The path to love and joy isn’t difficult; however, the tough part is letting go of all the brainwashing from our past and the media. Invest time in you, and the rewards will be great!

[raisinghellonstarbug]

Comfort Films Challenge

Thank you to the wonderful @omnishambolichologram for tagging me as always in these fun activites :3 ^^ Also - sorry it’s taken me weeks to FINALLY post this!

Film are definitely my number one enjoyment in life along with watching television series (aside from the obvious of spending time with family and friends) and there are quite a few comfort films for me, so it’s going to be difficult to narrow down to only seven! I might have to be cheeky and add in a couple of special mentions hehe

And FYI some of these films might not be necessarily comforting, but they are in that they’re easy to watch so many times because I love them that much. This list probably won’t have all of my absolute favourites, but we shall see what my brain comes up with this time because it sometimes changes.

(I won’t be able to rate one more than the other as they’ll all be different kinds of films so I wouldn’t be able to necessarily say one is better than the other)

I’ve chosen these films based on not only how rewatchable they are, but also on their sheer brilliance as a whole in terms of cinematography, dialogue, cleverness and the acting... (and probably on how long I’ve known them and grown to love them everytime I watch them)

Note: I don’t own some of the gifs included in this post. Credit would go to them if I knew who they were but I’m making sure that I don’t take credit for the ones which aren’t mine.

Good Will Hunting (1997)

This film is quirky, intelligent, funny and teaches you a lot about the choices you make in life. I think what I love about this film is how simple the ending is. “I gotta see about a girl...” - sums up how love can end up being the most important thing to grab hold of when you realise you have it and never had it before. I personally believe that this is probably Matt Damon’s best performance out of all his acting roles even to this day. Ben Affleck and Robin Williams were pretty damn great in it too.

Midnight Run (1988)

(This gif is mine).

This film has it all. A damn well cleverly written script with uncanny and hilarious dialogue, brilliant dynamic between the two main characters, fabulous music score, wonderful sets of shots (the cinematography of the beginning scene is great) and basically a simple story that is not only entertaining and easy to follow, but is acted out fabulously by everyone. The whole wild goose chase for these two men played by Robert De Niro and Charles Grodin across the country is just ridiculous, but ridiculously funny. I have to say that it’s definitely one of my top favourites of all time. If you want a laugh, I would recommend this one!

Special mention (another Martin Brest film): Beverly Hills Cop is on point also.

The Breakfast Club (1985)

It was tough for me to just decide on one John Hughes film as he’s one of my favourite directors of all time, but I chose Breakfast Club because it’s the ultimate classic coming-of-age story, and it’s all set in just one location. It’s clever in that there doesn’t have to be lots of action to make it good, all it does is introduce a bunch of teenage stereotypes and take away the shields that they have put on and learn to no longer be prejudice of one another. Eighties is also my favourite era of films and this is just a perfect mixture of comedy and drama. The acting is great and I give applause to especially Judd Nelson and Anthony Michael-Hall for their delivery and their facial expressions.

Special mentions of other John Hughes films he has written/directed that I ADORE: Pretty in Pink (Andrew McCarthy and James Spader yum), Sixteen Candles (hilarious), Uncle Buck (the best family film ever), Planes, Trains and Automobiles and Some Kind of Wonderful <3

Heathers (1988)

Christian Slater and Winona Ryder are the best duo in this film and it is another eighties classic. I related to both these characters and I can never get enough of this film. I have probably seen it twenty times or more and still not fed up with watching it. The dark comedy and the gritty and foul dialogue are iconic in this flick, and I take my hat off to the brilliant Heathers (Kim Walker - may she RIP, Shannen Doherty, Lisanne Falk) for playing such clever and awful characters. I was obsessed at one point with Slater because of his role as J.D and honestly his death at the end of the film is a powerful as fuck ending. The cinematography of the ending makes the film for sure, the angle, the chosen shots I just Ugh. Fabulous.

The Help (2011)

This film. I don’t know it’s just brilliantly done and the acting is perfection. Emma Stone, Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, Jessica Chastain and Dallas Bryce-Howard are fantastic in their roles and this film explores such a crucial time period that I think is illustrated well. These women while fictional, feel so real and the struggle of black maids (black people in general really but this is specific to the women) is real. I cannot help but cry everytime at the ending, and the way that Aibilene stands up for herself, I never get tired of. It is easy to watch as it’s not painful like 12 Years A Slave, but it still epitomises the segregation that was so prominent in the sixties in southern US very well. I find comfort in how delightful the characters are and still manages to be funny despite the story being focused on such a sensitive subject.

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Shawshank, well we all know this film. It has been parodied and quoted so many bloody times, but yet I am cliche in love with it and I cannot fault a single thing about it. Tim Robbins is an underrated as fuck actor and he should be appreciated so much more for his stellar performance as Andy Dufrense. He is the epitome of the straight and narrow man who, really, is not a bad guy at all. In fact, he’s always tried to be the opposite. You symphathise with him throughout and you really feel his struggle, but also his perfect ability to be so human. He makes Red realise he is not as bad as he made himself believe and of course we know how good Morgan Freeman is. Again, this film like Heathers I could watch a million times and never get bored with it. Whether it’s on TV or I find it available online, I always will make time to watch it.

Call Me By Your Name (2017)

I have only recently come across this film about 8 months ago and it’s the kind of film which I can’t help but wonder where it’s been my whole life. I have already watched it probably like 10 times since I found it and I am so happy I did. However, it has led me to form an unhealthy obsession with Timothee Chalamet where he has come up in conversation in real life and I figured the only things I was still an avid fan of was of Supernatural and Red Dwarf, but no this film is just pure delightful dynamite. The cinematography is so elegant and perfect (especially during the dream like sequence when Elio is alone or in the gif above when Elio is watching Oliver). The screenplay brilliantly illustrates how wonderfully amazing but also torturous love can be, and well it is set in the eighties. What more can you love? Timmy and Armie have such good chemistry it’s unreal, and they make their characters so believable. Another film I cannot fault and could watch anytime, even though the ending is heartbreaking af.

Bonus: Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)

Notting Hill (1999)

About TIme (2013)

There are plenty of other comfort films I adore but it probably depends on my mood. I’m definitely a sucker for romantic comedies and these three are on here as bonuses because they’ve also been very comforting to me over the years. What can I say? Richard Curtis writes some brilliant screenplays and directs some of them too.

[lovelylogans]

*cracks knuckles* it’s time for me to go galaxy brain on main.

i present: an overanalysis of virgil’s deposition (specifically, deceit weaseling badgering the witness)

so, virgil is very clearly reluctant to take the stand:

to which deceit responds “very well. you don’t usually have anything helpful to add anyway.”

to me, this reminded me of the past lines (i forget which eps and i’ll edit this post when i find it) in which numerous sides speak about virgil being unhelpful, pre-accepting anxiety arc: “virgil always seems to get you down,” “we’re talkin’ toons, dr. gloom!” in “becoming a cartoon” in which the other sides actively ostracized virgil bc he was unhelpful, or brought the group down.

let’s take a look at accepting anxiety part two (which is only 13 minutes long and we thought it was a MARATHON, weren’t we cute back then?) when virgil rises up, he says “i’ve decided to duck out... i removed myself from the equation. i quit. decided it wasn’t worth it. it didn’t seem like i was wanted. you all made that pretty clear anytime i showed up.”

later in that ep, 

 this clearly rankles virgil, so he takes the stand: agitated, on edge, keyed up—precisely as deceit wants him. 

“okay! ask me your questions.”

look at his posture, the tone of his voice—he’s hunched forward, arms crossed, bangs in his face. he’s on defense (from the defendant i’m so sorry i’ll go) and he’s irritated. deceit then asks him the clarifying question:

“you are in control of thomas’ fears, are you not?” honestly, it’s a fair question. he poses a similar question to logan earlier (logic as an oversimplification) though he does eventually highlight logan’s other roles (for instance, his punctuality.) 

however, look at that phrasing. you are in control of thomas’ fears. not you are thomas’ fear response. not you represent thomas’ fear. you are in control of those fears. 

back to accepting anxiety part two! “i’ve always aimed to protect you!” 

to quote logan: “look, anxiety, you’re a natural fight-or-flight reflex. that’s what you’re instilled in humans to act as.” 

to quote virgil himself an ep ago: “me being able to elicit fear doesn’t mean i haven’t grown.”

virgil’s been established, yes, as anxiety. however, it’s anxiety that he doesn’t want to overpower thomas with. in accepting anxiety two, as thomas says, he wants to work with anxiety to overcome those fears, rather than without him. virgil can elicit fear, true, but that doesn’t mean he intends for it to be so aggressively overwhelming—or, at least, that’s been my interpretation of canon, and if i’m missing something please feel free to let me know.

back to the most recent ep!

“oh my go-we all know each other! who are these clarifications for?? CUT TO THE CHASE!” again, i think this might be needling at virgil’s past. as fear/anxiety—someone not to include, someone to excise, someone to, well, fear. keep away from.

but look at how agitated he is. he’s so clearly on guard here, he’s so clearly defensive, he’s lashing out and shouting. after two questions. and admittedly one pointed comment. virgil does not want him here, he does not want to be in this situation, he wants out. cut to the chase indeed.

“is it true that you once said that ‘weddings are outdated, overly expensive pagentry?’”

i just really liked that imitation. i do also think, though, that this imitation tells us something about the past deceit and virgil relationship (friends, enemies, whatever it was.) personally, i can only get better at interpreting people the more time i spend around them. for example, a professor i have 3 days a week this semester? i can do a passable “oh, my” impression of her voice. but my roommate, who i have known since i was about 13? she and i have literally started saying “hell yeah!” in the exact same tone of voice, at the exact same time. i can do a much better impersonation of her. and granted deceit and virgil have the same face and similar voices, but look at deceit’s impersonation of patton (pretty spot-on) and logan (less passable) and then look at his impersonation of virgil. that’s on-the-nose. that’s practically perfect.

that’s an impersonation you get after a lot of time, study, and practice.

“yeah, well, i also once swore to thomas that the drink he left alone in the other room for ten seconds was definitely poisoned and if he drank it, he would die. i’m not exactly a beacon of truth.”

first, it’s just nice to know that i’m not the only one who panics about drinks getting poisoned. second, that line i bolded. that’s a turning point. that is a target. that is what deceit will narrow his focus in on.

“so you’ve changed your mind then?” see? narrowed in. focused. virgil knows it, too. look at his posture: he’s drawn his shoulders back, though he still has his arms in front of him. 

“next question.” however, i do think that there could also be an undercurrent of history there, which i won’t speculate about; i’m gonna just assume that it doubles back to the dilemma of this episode, ie, the wedding vs the callback.

deceit chuckles, there, and let me just say thomas that is a VERY good evil chortle, 10/10. anyway, “very well. as thomas’ anxiety, do you have any relevant information about his norepinephrine levels in regards to these two conflicting commitments?”

SCIENCE BREAK! note that i’m a journalism/english major and i nearly flunked out of chemistry in high school, so i’m mostly relying on google here. anyway, deceit specifically mentions norepinepherine, which directly stimulates adrenergic receptors. however, in my own research (again, not super known to be trusted here) i’ve found that anxiety is epinephrine. minor differences, sure, mostly centered on the effects that they have (norepinepherine, for instance, causes your blood vessels to narrow which increases blood pressure level, which epinepherine doesn’t do.) epinephrine, however, is the primary aspect of “flight-or-flight” response, aka virgil’s specialty. norepinephrine results in the formation of epinephrine: so essentially, deceit is asking if there’s an increase in norepinepherine, which would result in an increase in epinephrine: basically, is there gonna be a bad/anxious time happening any time soon.

science break over! virgil does not have the patience for it that i just spent researching and you just spent reading, though:

“i think it’s ridiculous that anyone is entertaining any of this. guys, he’s a liar! you literally know him as deceit!”

it’s true, we do know him as deceit. we also knew virgil as anxiety, which is where a popular strain of theory has popped up: ie, virgil being known as anxiety, and the name ‘virgil’ being a sort of lie. i’m not sure how much i agree with it, though i do think it’s a viable fan theory.

“glass houses, virgil. you yourself said that you are not a beacon of truth.” 

his tone—especially when he chides virgil about glass houses with the finger wag and the little tsk—is mocking. he’s taunting virgil. as in beware calling me a liar—we both know that you aren’t as honest as you seem.

“yeah, because i’m wrong a lot.” virgil’s still on the defensive.

“oh, so you’ve never been reluctant to share anything with the group then?”

this. this is the line that makes me think that it’s not quite centered on the name, coupled with deceit’s next line. if any of you have siblings—you know how you taunt them with something, or tease them, and they say “DON’T” or “STOP” or you get that response that you were looking for, because little kids are jerks, and you just say “whaat, i just meant insert thing here...” it’s vaguely like the “i’m not touching you!” defense. this scene gives me very similar vibes. deceit is definitely taunting virgil over something that he didn’t share—whether it’s with the named sides we’ve got, or if it’s with the unseen friends of deceit. 

let’s throw it back an ep, shall we? to that endscreen. “you are hilarious virgil, you always have been...” and “just be sure to keep up that personal growth, virgil. maybe soon, you could be rid of us all.”

definite history. definitely a pattern of needling virgil over their mutual past.

“don’t.”

“what?! i just meant your name...”

look at him. he’s delighted he’s gotten the reaction he wanted. he’s delighted that thomas is now glancing back and forth between them, curious about that history. and again, see, look, the petulant little “whaaat? i just meant...” and hey, look, another moment of deceit needling something of virgil’s past with the sides: they kept trying to figure out his name, saying his name was a big thing for him, and now deceit is bringing that up, too.

“DON’T!”

he’s an ANGERY boi! he does not want deceit prying, he does not want him bringing this up in front of the others, especially thomas, and he does not want to revisit the past.

“maybe that’s why it’s so easy for you to recognize me for what i am. like i said before, it takes a liar to know a liar.”

this is the point where patton breaks in, and this little scene is ferreted away for fanders to overanalyze until they’re dizzy (guilty!) but hey, that parting line, huh?

it takes a liar to know a liar.

so i think the main question is: what’s virgil lying about? is it his past as a “dark” side (which i think is pretty widely accepted fanon, and very heavily hinted in canon) or is it about a potential betrayal he did to the dark sides, or is it something that the “light” sides (and therefore the audience) don’t know about virgil yet? something that could really affect their trust of him?

either way, this scene was a little over a minute, and yet it provided this much for analysis, so. even if i’m wrong about most of it, i am not wrong about the fact that the deceit and virgil conflict is gonna be intense, everybody.

[justalittlelitnerd]

Most Likely by Sarah Watson

But that’s the thing about best friends; they’ll always find a way around a lock.

What a fun, truly heartwarming story, it was just what I needed to read during these ~uncertain times~ 

The 3rd omni POV was a bit chaotic at first mainly because I wasn’t used to the style and there often wasn’t any warning when the story jumped from girl to girl. That being said it didn’t take long to get used to the style and once I did I enjoyed the multi-POV and how it impacted the story. 

I loved that the girls all had supportive parents and decent relationships with them even with all of their issues (adoption, mental health, financial, divorce, etc.) and I liked that all the love interests were sweet and awkward in a way that only high schoolers can be.  

*SPOILER* I had this sneaking suspicion that Logan was a red herring because it seemed too easy that we knew who he was from the beginning and were tracking to see who he’d end up with especially and around the halfway mark I had a suspicion to how the couples and the story was going to pan out, but wasn’t sure until it was actually revealed. 

If you’re looking for a light-hearted, multi-faceted coming of age about friendship, identity, and uncertainty, but also hope over the future than I would highly recommend this book.  

Bonus: Sarah Watson is also the creator of The Bold Type and as someone who loves that show I got the same feeling from this book as I do watching the series.

Keep reading for some of my favorite quotes!

My friends will tell you that they always knew. That out of all of us, I was always the most likely to end up here. Respectfully, and with love, I think they’re full of crap. The truth is, if someone had told me back in high school that this is where my life would lead, I never would have believed it.

I take comfort remembering that the most important moments of my life have been the ones that terrified me. Like that first kiss. Not the story we’ve told a thousand times. The real one. The one that was messy and excruciating and painful and exhilarating. The one that broke my heart and healed it all at the same time.

And she definitely wasn’t stupid. Years ago, Logan had said that she was. Not to her face. It was behind her back, which actually made it worse. It meant he really believed what he was saying.

How was it possible to love one parent so much more than the other one? There was something so obviously screwed up about it that she knew something must be wrong with her.

Sometimes she wished her dad was the kind of guy who would swoop in and save the day for her. Other times she liked that she was the kind of girl who didn’t need him to.

She basically existed in a constant state of feeling slightly anxious about something, so it was hard to tell how much of this was related to the fact that her friends were forcing her to speak at the meeting and how much of it was just her brain chemistry.

People loved to say that they didn’t see color, but she could read the lowered expectations in their faces. That usually shifted as soon as she opened her mouth. They would tell her that she was “well-spoken” and express awe at how smart she was. She hated that she had to be smarter, better, and more eloquent than her white classmates, and yet she loved that she was.

Her mom was trying. It wasn’t her fault that no amount of trying could ever make up for the fact that there were certain things that she would never understand. Her mom would never know the ache of desire to put paint onto a blank canvas. She would never know what it was like to be the only brown face in a sea of white ones. She would never know what it felt like to be leveled by depression.

Ava really didn’t care about an impressive woman doing impressive things. Stories like these always made Ava feel inadequate. But since the only thing she feared more than not living up to her potential was being alone with her thoughts, Ava kept reading.

Ava flipped to the front of the book and reread CJ’s inscription. A little inspiration in case you ever decide to run for president.

“You deserved to be there. Depression is not your fault, and there was no fucking way I was going to let them punish you for it.”

"Actually, don’t answer that. Because I know the answer. It’s because as women we’re constantly taught not to advocate for ourselves. We’re taught not to ask for what we deserve. Well, guess what. I deserve this. I deserve it and I’m asking for it.”

All her life, she’d kept her true self hidden behind a perfect facade. A perfect girl with a shiny list of accomplishments and awards. He’d broken through that and found all her flaws, all her shortcomings, all the imperfections that she was so good at masking. He’d made her confront them, and he’d helped her laugh at them. He made her feel proud of who she was. Wyatt had uncovered the real CJ. And it turned out that it was the CJ she wanted to be. She was average. This time it made her smile.

The hostess backed away with the skill and grace of someone who had interrupted more than one awkward moment between couples in her time.

I know it’s only a matter of time. I know that someday the phone will ring, or there will be a knock on the door, or something will happen that will make my life forever different. I know how it will impact me, because I know how it has impacted the people I love. It will make me stronger in some ways. It will make me more vulnerable in others. It will leave a residue. But also a shine. It will be a thing that happened to me, but not the thing that defines me. It will change me in some ways. Perhaps it will change me in many ways. But it will not change who I am.

But before she was Martha Washington, she was Martha Custis. Before she was Martha Custis, she was Martha Dandridge. And before that, she was Patsy. Just a little girl from a large family who learned how to read and write at a time when women didn’t usually do that. She was a girl who wanted more out of life than what was being offered. That’s what Martha had in common with her great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother. She was brave enough to want more and she was brave enough to go after it.

I should have you kissed you in the bathroom that day. But you should have kissed me too. We were both afraid. How about we be afraid together?

Our love story has never been perfect. Just like me, it’s flawed and complicated. I wouldn’t change a single moment.

[salmonthestoryteller]

One Flew East, One Flew West

@roswellprompts for Crash Fest 2019.

@dummythiccie - Prompt Two: A high school class with all of the characters in it I was actually super excited to get this prompt! I love writing gen fics, and writing one set in the past was the perfect playground.  I hope you enjoy it!

One Flew East, One Flew West A Roswell New Mexico Fanfic

Liz paced as the clock snuck closer to the end of the lunch period.

"Liz, it isn't the end of the world." Maria tried to cheer her up.

"Maria, not only did I forget the book for American Literature, I left my notes in it.”  Liz glanced at her watch again.  Lunch was almost over.

“Rosa said she’d bring it, right?”  Alex was lounging against the wall and seemed about as concerned as Maria.  Which was not at all.

“Since when does that mean anything?”  Liz crossed her arms, and continued to pace.

Maria and Alex exchanged a glance.  “I’m sure she’ll be here.”  Maria reassured her.

Before Liz could go into a list of the reasons she might not be, Rosa’s car pulled into the school parking lot.  Liz relaxed somewhat, though she was still bouncing in place on the sidewalk waiting for the car to pull up next to her. She opened the door to lean inside.  “Gracias, Rosa, I-”  Liz cut off, coughing.  “Seriously? How can you breathe in here?”

“I have the windows open.”  Rosa pointed out.  Her posture was loose, and her eyes slightly unfocused.

“Are you drunk or just high?”  Liz asked her, grabbing up the book from the front seat angrily.

“I’m not that high.  Chill, little miss perfect.”

“This isn’t funny, Rosa.  What if Valenti pulls you over?”

“Well, I mean his son his still drooling over my sister, maybe he’ll cut me some slack.”

“Rosa, seriously you-- just tell me Dad and Mom didn’t see you like this.”

“As if any of us have seen Mom for the last week.”  Rosa reminded her.

The bell rung.  Liz slammed the door shut and stormed inside without replying. Alex and Maria exchanged looks, and Alex followed Liz.

“You could not fight with her.”  Maria suggested, leaning on the driver’s side window.

“She’s so uptight.”  Rosa replied.  “Seriously.”

“You know how she gets when your mom does this.”

“She has her way of dealing and I have mine.  Don’t even care right now where she is. I feel great.”

Rosa’s words only made Maria’s expression more concerned.  “I’ve got to get to class. Drive safe, okay?”

“Pfft.  I think I obeyed every traffic law getting here. I didn’t even california roll that stupid stop sign on seventh.”  Rosa told her.  Maria looked like she wanted to say more, but Rosa waved her off.  “I’m good.  Don’t be late for class or Liz will blame me.”

“We can hang out later, okay?”  Maria promised, before heading inside.

-----

“So you took notes?”  Alex kept his tone light as he fell into step beside her in the school hallway.

“I always take notes.”  Liz replied, still tense from the fight with Rosa.

“It’s literature, Liz.  Not chemistry.  I’m sure you can remember the plot just fine.”

“Last year, I heard Mr. Williams failed a student for not citing enough in book references for her report.  You know what he’s always saying.”

“You mean the whole, “If you think you can watch the movie version and fill out one of my quizzes, you’re wrong” schtick? Yah, I’m pretty sure that's an exaggeration.” Alex offered her a grin.

“What if it’s not?” Liz told him as they entered the classroom and took their seats.  “It could affect my whole GPA.”

“You do realise you have another whole year before graduation?”  Alex reminded her.

“You can’t slack off and make it up in one year.  They look at the whole record.”  Liz told him.

“Seriously?”  Isobel was seated on MIchael’s desk near the back.  “Please tell me we are not discussing colleges when Homecoming is less than two weeks away.”

“Some people take this stuff seriously, Iz.”  Michael lectured her. He had a notebook out, but whatever he was scribbling didn’t look like it was related to the American Literature class.

“I didn’t realize you were part of the conversation.”  Liz mentioned, keeping her smile intact though she sounded slightly annoyed.

“Iz thinks she’s part of every conversation.”  Max moved to diffuse the situation, taking his seat in front of Michael.

“Just the ones that are actually important.” As if to emphasize the point, Isobel got up and returned to her seat.  A few of the girls from the class quickly gathered around her. Liz rolled her eyes and took her own seat.

“I see you got your notes.”  Max pointed out.

“Yah, Rosa came through.”  Liz’s expression was still far from happy.

Max glanced at Alex, who gave a small shake of his head.  “We were discussing whether notes were necessary in literature class.”  He offered in way of moving the conversation forward.

“Well, yah, of course they are.” Max gestured to his own notebook.

“Puh-lease.  So unnecessary.”  Michael commented, despite still being engrossed in his own notebook.  Alex found himself trying to peer at the pages, but he was keeping it in his lap and the desk was blocking even though Isobel had moved away.

“You and that big brain of yours don’t count.”  Max told him.

“You can probably quote every book we’ve been assigned for this class.”  Michael glanced up at him. “You’ve read every one.”

“That’s cuz Evans is a loser who doesn’t know the meaning of the word fun.”  Kyle glanced back from his seat toward the front. Max’s mouth twisted, but he didn’t respond.  “Nothing to say, Evans?”

“Leave him alone, Kyle.”  Liz spoke up.

Kyle shrugged.  “I’m just giving advice. Not my fault if I think Evans needs to loosen up a little.”

“My brother is just an exception to the “Girls mature faster than boys rule” that you are so clearly demonstrating.”  Isobel spoke up from her desk.

“Or maybe all the Evans are just a little bit frigid.”  Kate Long put in from where she was standing with the group around Kyle’s desk.

“You want to start something with me, Kate?”  Isobel leaned forward.  “I mean your brand of fun seems to keep landing you in detention rather than on the homecoming board.  Which, oh right, you’re banned from going to, aren’t you?  Doesn’t sound like you’re much fun to me.”

“You little-!”

“Hey, hey.”  Maria had just entered, and quickly pulled Kate back from where she was heading toward Isobel.  “What is going on in here?”

“A badly cliched teen drama plot?”  Alex offered her.  Isobel and Kate both shot glares his way.

The bell rang again, and Maria let go of Kate to take her seat by Liz.  She offered a smile to her best friend, who returned it before focusing on her notes.  A glance back at Alex earned a shrug, and she nodded in return.

“Everyone who is not in their seats in the next thirty seconds just earned themselves a special assignment.”  Mr Williams walked into the classroom.  The students still milling around other desks quickly grabbed their seats. “I’m not even going to pretend half of you read the first five chapters of the book like instructed.  So let’s see if you even recall what book you’re on… Mr Valenti?”

Kyle turned back from where he’d been talking to the friend at the desk behind him.  “The one about the looney bin.”  He offered.  His friends laughed at the joke, as did a few other students.

“The one about the looney bin.  Well, I can’t say I recall that title being on my reading list this semester.”  Mr Williams crossed his arms.  “Care to try again or should I just assume you didn’t read anything besides the synopsis on the assignment papers?”

Kyle rolled his eyes, hesitating a moment before answering.  “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”

“Glad to see you actually managed to read the title on the front at least.”  Mr Williams circled the desk.  “Now did anyone get so far as who can tell me the main character? Ms Long?”

“McMurphy.”  Kate answered.

“I take it you and your friends watched part of the movie this weekend?”

“I-” She began to object, but Mr Williams spoke over her.

“Ms Ortecho?  Who’s the main character in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest?”

“Chief.” Liz offered.  “He’s the one the book’s narrative is told from.”

“But McMurphy is who everything is about.”  Kate disagreed.

“McMurphy is going to disrupt the ward, but that doesn’t make him the main character.”  Max jumped in.  “He’s the static character.  Chief is the one who will change.”

“Reading ahead of the class, Mr Evans?”  Mr Williams asked pointedly.

Max played with the edges of the notebook in front of him.. “I, um… I’ve actually read the book previously.”

“Shocking.”  Kyle whispered to the group near him.

“Something to say, Mr Valenti?”  Mr Williams turned to him.

“Just curious if there’s an assignment in this class Evans hasn’t read, honestly.”  Kyle offered.  When his friends snickered, Max only sat back with a sigh.

“Have something productive to add to the conversation about the actual assignment or do think my class is a waste of time for you?”

The classroom fell deathly silent.  “Just that I really didn’t find any of the characters very interesting, to be honest.”  Kyle offered.  “Or relative to modern society.”

“It’s about society.”  Michael broke in.  “It’s about how fucked up society is.”

A few snickers followed his words, and Mr Williams sighed.  “Mr Guerin, language.”

“I agree with him.”  Alex spoke up.  “That’s the whole point of the story.  How society is prejudice against anything that doesn’t fit its current viewpoint on normal.  That’s as relative today as when the book was written.”

“Call me surprised, Manes, that that’s your take.”  Kyle glowered at him.  “All things considered.”

“Alright, break it up.”  Mr Williams sat behind his desk.  “I’m hoping all of you remembered to actually bring the book to class, because if it’s not with you today I’ve got a great extra assignment for you.”

Liz sent Alex and Maria a look that plainly said, “I told you so.”

“We’re starting on chapter six.  And I suggest those of you who haven't read the first five chapters get them read before the quiz at the end of the week.  Who wants to start?”

Fini

[douxreviews]

Cloak & Dagger - ‘Shadow Selves’ Review

"What if I just want to hurt people?"

Well, this one certain gives us a few things to unpack.

Cloak and Dagger catches up with some supporting characters, while bringing us up to speed on what Mayhem has been up to since last season's finale. Oh, and gives us a mediation on the essential nature of self, as you do.

The 'shadow self,' according to Jungian philosophy, are those parts of one's personality that you reject or choose to not know about. That's a horrific oversimplification, and I apologize to any psychology students who might be reading this. It's not really my field. I had to google just to confirm that much.

Most obviously this is a reference to Brigid and Mayhem, implying that Mayhem is that shadow self that Brigid has always had inside of her, neatly separated off into its own body. I believe there was a Star Trek episode where something similar happened to Kirk, but it was a little less... let's be polite and say 'nuanced,' than what we get here.

Actually, the Star Trek comparison is useful here, particularly when compared to the explanation that Mina gives us in this episode. Since I'm going to actually talk about it, I've felt obligated to look up what it was called, and it's 'The Enemy Within,' for anyone wondering who didn't already know. Additional apologies to Star Trek fans for the oversimplification I'm about to launch into. Fans of both Jung and original series Trek, please contact me directly and I'll send you an apology fruit basket or something.

In 'Enemy Within,' Kirk is split into 'good Kirk' and 'evil Kirk,' and the point is very much that even good people have bad stuff in them and it's a character study of who Kirk is as a complete character. That being the purpose of the experiment, one Kirk is very definitely 'good,' and the other definitely 'evil.' In 'Shadow Selves,' Mina describes the process that's been splitting her test mice into two, and therefore by proxy what's happened to Brigid, as resulting in one version of the self with no activity in the brain's rage center, and the other version having activity only in the rage center. Your basic Hulk scenario.

But neither of those descriptions fit what we actually see of Mayhem's character this week.

Mayhem isn't full of rage, particularly. She's task-oriented and happy to kill people she views as 'bad,' but that's not at all the same thing. If anything, Mayhem is a much better cop than Brigid. Sure, her first instinct is to track down and kill her other half, but she gets distracted almost immediately by wanting revenge on the guy she was already looking to get revenge on before the personality split, and then never shows an inclination to kill Brigid again, despite the half a dozen times this episode alone in which she could have done so.

Great job to the showrunners for the Mayhem backstory we get tonight, and the way it pulls a lot of the pieces of this season's plot together. Mayhem starts with wanting revenge on Connors, isn't able to find him, and then decides that since she wants to kill people anyway she should focus on finding bad people to kill, becoming Dexter with Day-glo fingernail polish. Plus, she's clearly capable of being thoughtful and kind, as shown in her comment about Ty being her friend. It was nice that Delgado gives her the advice that pushes her in the direction of punishing the guilty, by the way. Put a pin in Delgado, we'll circle back to him in a minute, but there's one last point about Mayhem that I want to touch on before we move on.

This show is one of the rare examples in which every single change they've made to the source material has made the show stronger. The exception, as I've said before, being not having Ty stutter, but that's more of a practical consideration, so we'll let that slide. In the comics, Mayhem is essentially what you'd get if Toxic Avenger and the Punisher made a beautiful love child, but having Mayhem and Brigid be two separate beings who share Brigid's memories and thought processes was a brilliant move and is really paying off for them. The way that Mayhem clearly wants Tandy to side with her and be her partner on the investigation is just one aspect of the overall impression that what Mayhem really wants is to prove that she's better than Brigid, and that's fascinating. I can't wait to see where this is going.

But Brigid isn't the only one whose darker side has come to the fore here, and now we get back to Formerly-Father Delgado. Wow, was I not prepared for how dark they went with Delgado. I questioned last season why they threw in such a randomly dark note as the reveal that Delgado had killed a kid while driving drunk, but now I think they were just preparing us for this next stage in his character development. I don't have a ton to say about drunk street preaching nihilist Delgado except that I'm impressed that they went there, and it was nicely handled how he factored into Mayhem's evolution from seeking vengeance to becoming an actually effective rescuer of human trafficking victims. That was not where I saw any of that going.

And last but not least, Ty and Tandy continue their promised power-up. Tandy's ball of light which lit up the whole warehouse was cool looking, but my inner fangirl nearly passed out with joy when Ty finally unveiled his full body of darkness effect and then we got to witness firsthand someone inside the dark realm of his cloak being tormented by visions. Now all I need to die happy is for Tandy to ride 'inside' him to crime scenes and leap out throwing light knives.

Bits and Pieces:

-- The debate between Ty and Tandy as to whether they should just step back and let Mayhem kill the human traffickers had valid points all around. Generally speaking, I'd put myself on team 'yes, please murder the human traffickers' but Ty's concerns about the victims being collateral damage was fair. That said, I did not feel bad when Mayhem ran that one over with a truck.

-- Mayhem climbed out of the lake 242 days earlier, so Evita's statement last week that it had been eight months was more or less on the nose.

-- The extremely mini story-arc of Dale, the skeezy desk clerk at the transient hotel, was a thing of beauty. From creeping on Mayhem, to backing away, to the obedient puddle he'd become by the time Brigid came to find the hotel was just perfection. This show really does understated very well.

-- Haven't we all wanted to beat up a refrigerator?

-- Oh Mina Hess, I'm so glad that you're OK. Mina has apparently now added microbiolical bio-chemistry and behavioral research fellow to her already impressive track list of Structural Engineer, Thermodynamics expert, plumber, renewable energy expert, and about twelve other unrelated specialties. At this point I think it's best to view Mina like Reed Richards, i.e. all purpose science-y person who knows all the science-y stuff when it's needed. Plus just maybe she'll encourage a few more girls to pursue STEM careers, and that's a good enough goal in its own right.

-- Today I learned that SRO stands for 'single room occupancy,' a type of hotel that in a less dignified age I would have referred to as a flophouse.

-- Tandy mentions in passing that she and Mina have kept in touch. I feel like we were cheated out of a few highly entertaining explanation scenes.

-- Special shout out to Emma Lahana for the physical work she's doing to differentiate Brigid and Mayhem. Mayhem moves in a very distinctive shoulder forward way, which is very different from how Brigid walks. It's a nice, subtle detail, and should be praised.

-- Apparently I was overcomplicating the kidnapped girl plot last week. They seem to just be human traffickers who panicked and let Mikayla go because Ty had suddenly appeared in their ambulance so they had to cover their tracks. I kind of appreciate the show letting me work that out for myself.

-- 'The Glitter Gutter' is a great name for a strip club.

Quotes:

Mina: "Don’t worry, these cosmetics were tested on humans."

Brigid: "She’s not me." Tandy: "She’s got your face and she’s got your badge."

Dale: "No one went in your room. I didn’t mean to make eye contact, I’m sorry."

Tandy: "What is this?" Brigid: "This is Mayhem."

Mayhem: "And in another lifetime, Ty was a friend. At least he was to me, I don’t know if he’d say the same."

Tandy: "Hey Ty, look. Ya got a deranged map twin."

Mayhem: "You don’t get to play the victim. (Slashes his throat) Well, now I suppose you can."

Fuchs: "Who’s up for Awkward reunion pancakes?"

Lots of good stuff here, with only a couple of awkward plot contrivances to really criticize. For example, it's a little hard to swallow that Brigid being pulled from the lake would make breaking citywide news under those circumstances. Still, if that's the show's biggest sin, my shadow self is happy.

Three and a half out of four shadow dimensions.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.