#this quest was so bittersweet
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listening to boothill talk about his home in 2.6 makes me wonder if theres ever days where revenge or justice doesn’t seem worth it anymore and he just wishes he died with his family and planet ie probably the only two things he’s ever really loved
#kawa shut the fuck UP bro#whatever#u dont understand how bad this quest fucked me up#like its so bittersweet bc there are still things he finds genuine joy in#or relationships he’s formed that he most definitely cares about and people he’s loyal to#but do u think he ever just#wants to throw in the towel#he doesn’t think he’s going to the same place as nick or grey or his little girl but wouldn’t it be Real nice if he did#im pissing myself off#gn#boothill#HAUNTING
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lundy talking about being the youngest on the cats for the past 3 years like hes been a prisoner of war despite being treated like a vet by the new guys coming into camp is certainly some whiplash for him huh?
"i know youre almost—youre not 23" "almost yeah" "happy early birthday then..." "😄"
"so youre ready to pass that younger guy torch to somebody?" "im ready! im ready if somebody wants it!" OH HES SO READY TO NOT BE THE YOUNGEST ANYMORE FREE MY MAN
Training Camp 24 | 9.24.24 (x)
#anton lundell#florida panthers#2425#preseason#i think it gets funnier when you remember he actually has a younger brother#so hes not particularly used to be viewed and treated as the youngest#(as someone who is the youngest i get a little ⁉️ when people younger view me as a mentor im like im... not used to this... what do i do)#being the little rookie for 3 years oh thats rough bud#“youngest player jobs” oh you mean go on fetch quests for everyone? yeah#“oh i guess im not the youngest anymore...” he says that with such mixed feelings#like oh youre going through something huh#the bittersweetness thats realising time is passing you by and everything is changing#our beat is so cute making him smile by going “happy early birthday then” PLEASE
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ALL THAT REMAINS | act 2 closing mission
#daedit#da2edit#dragonageedit#gamingedit#hawkeedit#dragon age#da#da2#dimitri hawke#leandra hawke#edit#very ironic to replay this with dimitri#who really hasn't that good of a relationship with his mother#but i mean. both leandra and malcolm canonically aren't parents of the year tbh#especially to their oldest#eldest sibling syndrome going strong in this game#but this quest is still so bittersweet#knowing that no matter what. now hawke is truly alone.
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It’s very possible that Henry became emotionally distant from Sparrow to focus on Lark more and Sparrow would try to get Henry’s attention. (Continuing the cycle of wanting to make your father proud) but hear me out
Lark knew.
The only thing i have backing this up is the fact Sparrow and Lark seem to still have a good relationship with each other. It’s probably not as good as it was when they were kids, but still they don’t seem to hate each other.
And it makes sense to me that Lark would see Henry ignoring Sparrow and see Sparrow trying and beating himself up for wanting his father’s attention hence making Lark resent Henry more and be there for sparrow.
making the cycle endless
Henry pays more attention to lark to fix the fact he doesn’t like him.
Sparrow is semi jealous of lark and craves his father’s attention.
Lark see’s sparrow trying so hard to get Henry’s attention and gets mad at Henry and spends his time with sparrow.
repeat.
#Take a bittersweet theory#Also kinda makes me think of yin-yang symbol in a way#Sparrow has a positive personality but has negative feelings about others and he hates himself for that#And Lark has a negative personality but unintentionally does stuff to make them feel better#Actually no I do have proof of that#Letting normal go on off him. Apologizing profusely to Sparrow about sleeping with Rebecca that happened 18+ YEARS AGO#I don’t remember the actual meaning between yin&yang so might be a little weird but yea#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndaddies#dndads s2#dndads quest#lark oak#sparrow oak
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its 2:40 am, im sobbing and very much not okay and its all bc of them
throws up high-cloud quintet the beloved tragedy that u are ;w;
#may the stars guide you <3#i have just. done lynx & march & jinglius quests back-to-back-to-back and pls tell me why they were all sad#LIKE LYNX AND PELA ESPECIALLY IN LYNXS COMPANION MISSION#AND THEN MARCH KIND OF LORE WAS ALSO BITTERSWEET#AND THE FUCKING HIGH-CLOUD QUINTET MADE ME SOB SO MUCH#CRYING EVERYTHING WITH BAIHENG MADE ME SO SICK I CANT DO THIS#ohhh the cutscene of jingliu and blade fight.... that was when the waterworks really flowed... esp with the direction of the cn voices....#when will jing yuan catch a break gdi... let my pookie rest..... he needs to eep........#throwing up i cant do this but at least im not tired and can pull the all-nighter to reset my body clock ;w;#maybe ill make cup noodles and question life
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the vibe of each of the flora's themes
adele, adele's oath: a sacred, but mythical feeling befitting the virtuous knights from the old stories that used to be told to children. the choir is singing the knights' praise, perhaps symbolizing their initial glory days, serving the god-king during his heyday before ultimately betraying him and breaking their oath to protect him. however, it continues to have a non dominating presence in the background, symbolizing the present. although the knights of the einherjar was replaced with the militaristic high flora army, the flickering flame of a noble knight has not died yet. it was alive in adele, who remained loyal to her oath to the god-king to the very end.
khali, oblivion: the drums and choir ramping up throughout the song symbolizes her bubbling feeling of deep anger boiling over. she has a strong yearning for vengeance against ypsilon for the undeserved death of her family.
illium, death of asylum: the choir is singing to the metaphorical revival of the god of the verdent flora; illium's fusion with the elder crystal symbolizes him inheriting their will and carrying on the burning passion of the verdent flora race through the pride of their invention of mechanical wings. there's a sense of determination, but a quiet anger festering among them as well.
ark, recollecting memories: i miss my wife tails, i miss her a lot
#me thoughts#ok for a real analysis of arks theme#its obvious the beginning is meant to evoke nostalgic feelings of ark and albaire attending the military academy#like come on ark had a dream in his 255 quest about albaire waking him up and doting on him the second he thought ark was unwell LMAOOO#its supposed to be happy memories before the bittersweet ones kick in when that part of the song drops (whoch suspiciously sounfs like the#theme to black heaven but i digress)#the bitter memories are that of ark realizing there isnt something right with the high flora army which sours his relationship with albaire#when he tells him that they have to remain strong but ark obviously doesnt want to look the other way since hes an upstanding guy like that#but i honestly think it can also be interpreted as ark missing albaire a lot. he misses the good times they used to have when they were so#young and naive in the academy. that they didnt know that their efforts to rise up the ranks would amount to basically committing genocide#on the innocent races in grandis#it wasnt supposed to be like this#is what im hearing ark say perhaps#LOL not rise up the ranks i mean graduate the academy initially then rise up the ranks#i love maplestory#theres a lot more i can yap about the end note but i want to sleep
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genshin dropping their best writing in unvoiced world quests
#THE MELUSINE QUEST. OK#there's another abyss aligned faction???? what on earth is elynas? i thought one of the primordial dragons but now i dont think so#bc of the way they talked abt the destruction they caused. also world formula??? i swear we've heard that before but idk where#also god just. the vibes the whole time. this eerieness & sadness & bittersweet feeling. man
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this phrase by richard siken is so dehya coded i wanna scream
#i was not expecting to cry during her character quest#i really love her story#getting to know her father adopted her out of his own will and all the time he was trying to protect her and carrying her with him until#his last breathe...#he didn't mind being misunderstood if only it meant she was safe 😭😭#he died without knowing if she would ever find the truth and understand his heart like. that's love.#but why so bittersweet#the little moments with baby dehya were so cute#like he really did love her#i am not okay aaaaa#she will always carry the pain of not knowing things sooner and not having the chance to make up with him :')#i am fully sobbing goddamn 😂#idk why it makes me so emotional#it's just so bittersweet#genshin spoilers#< okay just in case
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If I had a nickle where the player has to go back in time to help a heroic figure within the lore which implicitly says they we're inspired by certain nebulous hero just for that hero begin you and help them within their quest.... I had two but it still make me cry everytime
#mmmmhhh when you can hear the palpable despair in Saint voice when you go and meet him on the past..... and then YOU INSPIRE HIM#HE'S LIKE WAIT EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW#you we're my hero all along like uhhh#SEE HOW HARD I CRY#and then ARTORIAS he was corrupted he'd gone mad with darkness and YET he's trying to apologize#he's still wants to fulfill his quest but can't#AND YIU WE'RE THE ONE THAT DID THE QUEST U COMPLETED HIS QUEST AND#its so bittersweet but also#WAHHHH
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🫣 rambling abt ffxiv quests again yes so true
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#cont yet again oops ><#HFDLKAFJSD N THE LAST QUEST 😭 'forever at your side' it's so bittersweet.#dreams n freedom n ideals n smth worthy of being proud n loved n regrests n casting away hate n#yeah making the most w our lives n the future. 'for those we have lost n for those we can yet save' ffxiv ihysm#reason to live for the present n the future.. moving on from the scars of the past. we all owe that to ourselves.#'searching for my place in the world' & 'I was always on the outside looking in.' ouch#'But I've realized if we can't find one we just have to make it ourselves.' ily#'I'll never forget my past but neither will I be beholden to it.' yeah 🥹🤍#[]'s chara development means so much to me. yeah humans n morality n our ideals r rich in complexity#'true strength resides within us' n the other stuff too [] was my fictional therapist in that cutscene lmfao#yeah that. really helped me then i remember. i was crying so much bro that resonated w me so much :c#'My children gave everything so that others might be free. I will not rest until the world they dreamed of becomes a reality.'#i'm so proud of him. n then ; 'When I recall our time together I remember the person I used to be. The person I *still* can be.'#memories n forever at your side sobbing. 'i'm the only one left... /but i'll never be alone' FAMILIAL LOVE#'[]. I won't give up on our dream.' yeah. Yeah. one of my favorites fr#i rlly love ffxiv :C#it gives me so much hope n reminds me of myself. to hells if i'll be a fool—just let me dream.
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Hi!! I've seen your art on Instagram of Thorin and Frodo and I wanted to tell you that I love it!! 🥺🥺
I absolutely adore any Thorin/Frodo content and it's so rare!
Also it's mostly fluff (don't get me wrong I love the reshirement) but sometimes I YEARN for angst
Soooo thank youuu I love your art ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much!! I absolutely agree that we need more Frodo and Thorin content, and i understand really well the yearning for some bittersweet angst!
This is the art from instagram! The idea was if Thorin lived and helped Frodo on his quest to destroy the One ring.
Khuzdul translations:
kurkarukê: my tiny raven
mizimith: jewel that is young
irak'adad: uncle
#lord of the rings#the hobbit#thorin oakenshield#bilbo baggins#frodo baggins#bagginshield#thorin lived#uncle thorin and his hobbit nephew#sketchbook spread
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hero’s compensation ft. diluc ragnvindr
in which you’re walking home, unaware of the news of a pesky samachurl that’s snuck into the city. luckily, the darknight hero is there to rescue you. except one thing: you didn’t expect him to be such a familiar face
contains: female reader ; childhood friends to lovers ; reader is attacked by a samachurl ; references to diluc’s story quest as the darknight hero ; so much tension lol ; lots of kissing ; confessions ; getting together ; this is a late bday offering for the first man that every genshin player falls for
in your defense, you hadn’t heard of the news to avoid this part of the city until the knights could take care of the little…threat that happens to lurk around the streets. you hadn’t noticed the samachurl at first—it noticed you, caging you with thorny vines in a small enclosure.
you’re doomed, you think—samachurls are small, yes, but still dangerous.
you dodge as the staff in its hand swings at you, a quick yet clumsy effort as you start to get tired. running away isn’t an option—not only because you’re trapped, but also because you wouldn’t want to risk bringing the monster deeper into the city. it’s rare for them to find their way past the gates, but it happens every once in a while. not often enough, however, that you’re prepared to handle this situation.
and then there’s a flash—something quick and sharp that swings past you towards the creature.
but unlike the samachurl’s staff, this particular object seems to purposely dodge you, hitting the creature square on its head as it stumbles back and shrieks. a dark (but very familiar) silhouette lunges past you, picking up what you realize is a claymore before swinging once more, the small body of the samachurl sent flying at the impact before slumping onto the ground, limp.
your hand is clutched to your heart, fisting at the material around your collar as you heave labored breaths, in and out. in and out. in and out.
it’s over. your savior is a man who vaguely tickles at a part of your brain incessantly, but you’re too busy with the adrenaline and fear pumping through your veins to fully grasp why that is just yet.
it’s not until a gloved hand settles on your shoulder and a voice calls to you, do you break out of your daze. “are you alright?” a low whisper asks you.
diluc. you look up, shocked and still slightly panicked as you blink at him. “wha—”
“this way! i saw a figure, i’m sure it’s the darknight hero for certain this time!”
the sound of footsteps and a distant voice interrupts you, and before you can figure out what’s happened, diluc has pulled you away, pressing you against the tight space between a stone wall and a staircase and caging you as the pounding footsteps run past you. he lets out a shaky sigh as the sounds become more and more distant, relief sagging into his shoulders once he’s sure the knights hadn’t seen you.
you’re not too worried about that, though. there are more pressing matters on your mind.
like that fact that he’s close. so close, that you can make out the small, ghost of a scar on his forehead from when you were kids. when he’d cut himself from the gravel as he chased after you and kaeya, fallen face first. you remember that day fondly—most of your memories with diluc are fond. some a little bittersweet, of course. long gone are the days where you could run freely with both brothers and have a good time, but memorable all the same.
the man you’ve grown up with is supposedly the same mysterious man you hear about whispered on the streets. the darknight hero—some praise him, in awe of his abilities and his work. others, not so much. the knights, for example, don’t take to his vigilante role too kindly.
you inhale sharply, still pressed close to him as you stare at him with wide eyes.
“so it’s you,” you murmur, stepping closer in the already tight enclosure and invading his space. he doesn’t mind, not really. it’s a slippery slope to press yourself against him like this, but you’ve never had a track record for taking easy routes.
“it’s me,” he confirms, eyeing you carefully, like he’s making sure that’s alright with you.
it is. nothing diluc does could be a problem for you, not when he’s saved your life and not when he’s so close you can practically feel him as he breathes in front of you.
“how did you know to find me?” you ask, looking him in the eyes until finally, he breaks, casting his gaze anywhere else but you as he clears his throat.
“i heard there was a samachurl in the area and—”
“diluc,” you say unimpressed, “i know you better than that.”
you know the answer. you know him better than anyone, in fact. you’ve grown up knowing him, knowing what he loves and hates. what makes him laugh and cry. the softness that still lingers underneath the hardened exterior that the world’s cruelty has layered over his innocence. nobody knows diluc like you do, just like nobody knows you like him.
he knew you were here, not because of some samachurl or some mild threat. you. because somehow, diluc has always made himself present, made himself available at even the most inopportune times when it comes to you.
that time you almost drowned at the lake by the winery as kids. that time you strayed too far and ran into a cryo slime by accident. that time you fell trying to pick grapes and twisted your ankle. that time you walked home late at night and got cornered by a drunk man from the tavern.
he’s always there, somehow, for some reason, always knows just when you need someone and makes sure it’s him who steps up to be the person.
“i was following you,” he admits, tense as he avoids your gaze.
“following me?” you gasp, “how scandalous! do you follow all young women as they walk the streets?”
“of course not,” he frowns, looking mildly bewildered, “i was following you.”
“i see,” you nod slowly, “worried i was incapable of walking myself home, were you?”
neither of you mention that you were incapable of walking yourself home tonight. his face twists into a sheepish expression as he rubs his neck awkwardly.
“it’s not that i find you incapable—i just…it’s just a precautionary measure for the sake of ensuring—”
“oh diluc, would it kill you to say you were worried about me?” you snort.
“quit being difficult,” he grumbles.
“forgive me,” you sigh dramatically, “i thought i could perhaps be clever and hear you admit you care about me. alas, it seems such a day won’t come any time soon.”
he flushes a light pink. it contrasts beautifully with his red hair, making your fingers itch to reach over and pinch his cheek. but he rolls his eyes, finally looking back at you and looking right into you with his piercing gaze as he says, “i was worried about you. does that satisfy you? not one day goes by that i’m not worried about you. you keep me up at night, enough that i’ve taken the safety of this city into my own hands.”
he stuns you into silence. it’s been so many years, so many years since he grew from that young boy you met. his hands became rougher, his shoulders became broader, his arms became stronger. he’s gone from practicing with a wooden sword to wielding that heavy greatsword of his. he’s not naive anymore, far less trusting and far more stoic. his dreams have changed and his ambitions aren’t what they used to be—but he’s still the same diluc that stole your breath and suffocated your throat even as a child.
you love him deeply, so much that it aches between your heart and lungs, in a spot only he can fit. a spot where he can squeeze against both organs, stop the beating in your chest and knock the air out of you. it’s dangerous, leaving you uncomfortably vulnerable.
so you do what you know best to counteract that strange pressure in your chest that makes it difficult to breathe, to speak, to do anything. you throw on a smile on your face and tease him to get under his skin, so that maybe, if he rolls his eyes at you, they won’t pierce into your soul as harshly.
“well it’s lovely to meet the darknight hero,” you grin, batting your lashes, “who’d have thought the city’s beloved master of the dawn winery was saving people from the shadows?”
“please don’t call me that,” he sighs, looking at you tiredly. the expression on his face makes you giggle. “it sounds awfully derivative to me.”
faintly, you’re aware that you’re still hidden in the corner behind the staircase, dead quiet in the middle of the night with just a sliver of space between you. you could just reach up and brush the bangs out of his face, maybe trace that scar you know so well, or even press the tip of your nose to his if you lean closer.
he seems to be aware of the proximity too, because his eyes dart to your lips for just a moment, inhaling sharply as he realizes just how close they are from touching his.
“what would you prefer i call you then?” you whisper.
he doesn’t say anything.
neither of you do, for a bit. just his eyes trained on yours as you both take shallow breaths, narrowly missing each others chests from grazing against one another as they rise and fall, rise and fall.
finally, he clears his throat.
you think he’ll say something—but he doesn’t. instead, he kisses you. enough is enough, he decides, and you’re compelled to agree. enough dancing around the wobbly line that separates you from friends and more than friends—you think it’s been enough years that neither of you do a good job of hiding the built up feelings anymore, anyway.
his lips are chapped. you can feel the stark difference between his and yours as they press up against your soft ones, disrupting your delicate existence with his roughness. it’s not unwelcome, though.
kissing diluc is blazingly warm. his lips, his body, his gloved hands, his breath, all of it is unbearably hot—enough that you feel like you’ll combust at any second. the pyro vision he keeps hung at his waist must make his body run warm, you think. you crave more heat, though. no matter how close you feel you are to the sun, you want more, so your arms wrap around his neck and tug him closer, tangling your fingers in those long fiery locks of his as he groans.
his hands roam your waist, pulling you closer, pressing you flush against his sturdy chest as his lips hungrily mold against yours. air is limited—there’s a burning in your lungs that slowly but surely builds until you pull away, panting for air.
his forehead presses to yours when you do, chest rising and falling as he catches his own breath with lips that are glossed and slightly swollen.
“if i told you what title i’d prefer you used on me, i’m afraid there would be no going back,” he mumbles against your lips.
you’d laugh if you weren’t so breathless and dizzy against him. you’d laugh at the fact that after such a shameless kiss in the dark, hidden corner of the city, he thinks anything he could say would change things more than this kiss has. they couldn’t—not when all your feelings have been laid bare without having said anything at all. a few mere words could never shift anything the way feelings his lips has.
not when you’ve gotten a taste of him, so sweet and hot against your lips, it’s like drinking rays of sun in the sheer cold of dragonspine.
“who said i want to go back?” you challenge, reaching over and tracing your finger along his cheekbone. he closes his eyes, letting out a soft, breathy laugh as he leans into your touch.
“then call me your lover,” he says instantly, “call me yours and i’ll consider us even.”
“even for what?” you raise a brow, looking at him in mild confusion.
he grins as he opens his eyes, leaning closer and kissing against your jaw until he works his way up just beneath your ear lobe, breath trickling the shell of your ear and making you shiver.
“for saving your life, of course,” he teases.
“hero’s don’t require compensation for their noble actions,” you huff, lips curling into a small pout—he pulls away to admire it before kissing it too with a short peck. (he’d tell you that you look adorable like this, but he doesn’t want to sour your mood any further). “and i was perfectly capable of handling that myself.”
“without a weapon?” he asks, looking at you knowingly.
“of course,” you say indignantly. “but if it should truly kill you to be mine, then���” you trail off, leaning to press a lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth, making his fingers dig into your hips slightly as he fights the urge to take more, to turn his head and get a proper kiss out of you.
“then…?” he rasps, impatient.
“then i suppose i can call you my lover,” you hum, finally giving into that overwhelming urge of brushing his bangs back, tracing the scar from your past with your thumb. “would that satisfy you, master diluc?”
“just diluc is fine,” he mutters, heat returning to his skin, “i’ve told you that plenty.”
“diluc,” you murmur, voice softer this time, “thank you for saving me. for always saving me.”
“of course,” he swallows thickly, “i will always come to rescue you. i promise.”
“and i love you for it,” you confess, just barely audible, “i always have. since before i knew what love meant.”
even in the dark shadows of the dim corner he has you pressed against, light breaks over his face as he smiles, so charming, so boyish, you think he’s reverted back to the boy you met when you were so young.
“and i have always loved you,” he whispers, leaning down and kissing you one more time, just to remind himself how you feel, “you taught me what love means.”
oh i miss mondstadt and the winery and my first joy of genshin 🥹 diluc the man that you are. you have not gone forgotten in my mind i promise
#writing tag#diluc x reader#diluc x you#diluc fluff#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin fluff#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#genshin impact fluff
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Your stories have definitely scratched that Astarion itch that I've had since I started the game!
One thing that's diffently not sat right with me at the end of the game, is how tav and the gang don't run after astarion after he loses his immunity to the sun. I would imagine that if the player character was romantically involved with the guy they would atleast try to shield or comfort the poor guy. A short drabble on that would be awesome!
That's so sad, I heard that's what happens 😭😭 I'm in act 3 and haven't had to see it for myself yet so yes, let's do some preemptive therapy there! And just warning since I haven't beaten the game yet I'm sure this will be inaccurate as fuck, but also with spoilers somehow ~
~
It was an exhilarating feeling, to win against all odds. One that Astarion had never been confident he would experience. It felt good, final. The official beginning of his new free life, even if it was bittersweet.
This was the bitter part, the end of his illithid protection. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon, and the burn was already starting. He was being an idiot, standing there with the rest of you like he belonged, waiting for the last possible second before he had to scuttle down in the darkness. But he wanted to see this out. Hadn't he earned that right?
According to the laws of reality, no. No he hadn't, because you had barely opened your mouth before the pain started to overwhelm him. The others would be able to hear it, the sickening sound of his skin crackling.
He was out of time. But before he could make a break for it, you happened. Astarion had been a little preoccupied with his impending doom to pay close attention to what you had been mumbling. But then sudden blackness was blanketing above your heads, opaque enough to make it as dark as night.
Astarion's eyes widened as the pain subsided, surprised beyond belief.
You were looking at him with concern in your eyes, gesturing to the think cloud of darkness above your head, "Will this be dark enough? Can it still get through?"
Astarion stared at you, momentarily confused on why you would do something like that. Before he remembered, oh. Yes. The extended care for his well-being was probably included in the whole love thing. Of course. Obviously.
That was definitely going to take some getting used to.
But the reasoning didn't stop an idiotic smile from blooming on his face.
You grinned back at him, somehow still managing to read his mind even without the tadpoles, "Did you really think I would forget about you?"
He had, but through no fault of your own. One of these days he was going to actually remember that he was worth the effort to keep alive.
"Thank you darling," Astarion said, ignoring the quested as he waltzed up to you. He grabbed your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips to kiss, "Just what would I do without you?"
"Speaking of," You turned to the Emperor, a question in your eyes as you vaguely waved upward, "Is there anything we can do about this particular problem?"
"The astral tadpole is still-"
"I'll pass on that, thank you very much," Astarion interrupted, cringing at the very thought of willingly letting another worm into his brain, "But I appreciate the thought."
There were worse things than living his life in darkness. And Astarion was counting becoming a mind flayer in the top three.
He watched, participated even in everyone's final goodbyes, always eyeing you at of the corner of his eye. It's not that he thought you would leave after you both declared your eternal love for each other, but... the two of you hadn't exactly talked about the specifics of the future either.
But that didn't stop you from leaving together. Astarion hadn't expected you to keep the dark cloud above his head as you walked the streets, startling nearly every passerby. But hells, the heroes of Baldur's gate had earned the right to a little strangeness.
You both had decided on going to the nearest, most windowless inn that you could find. Astarion wanted nothing more than to scrub the brain viscera from his skin and sleep for three days. Preferably with you in his arms.
But before all that... he had to know something.
The question was out of him as soon as you both were behind closed doors, "So what happens next to the great hero of Baldur's Gate? I'm sure you have something in mind."
He was just praying those future plans still involved him.
You blinked at him, head cocked like he was asking a silly question, "We go and find you a cure so you can walk in the sun again of course. What else would we do?"
That took Astarion aback, "I-Do you think that's really possible?"
"Well," You started, counting off on your fingers, "We know that illithid powers can do it. As well as devil contacts and ritualistic demon sacrifices. If that's all possible then that means there has to be something else on the other end of the spectrum, right?"
Astarion didn't exactly share your blind confidence. But you did have a point. The two of you had managed so many impossible feats in such a short amount of time. What was one more?
"I suppose there's a chance," Astarion said, hope fluttering in his chest with every word, "And if there is a chance no matter how small, I'm going to take it. But..."
He didn't want to ask, but he needed to know, "Are you sure this is what you want? I would... understand if you wanted to go your own way."
In all honesty, Astarion would not understand. He'd be absolutely furious. Especially after everything you'd been through. This was more of a confirmation for his waning self-confidence than anything else, versus a sincere to desire to let you go your own way. He had no intention of letting you go, not if he could help it.
But his near certainty in your feelings was the only thing that gave him the confidence to ask the question in the first place. And you did not disappoint.
"No, this is what I want," You insisted, reaching out to take his hand in yours, "You're what I want."
That was exactly what Astarion needed to hear. He used your joined hands to tug you closer, face to face.
"Good, because as selfless as I am, I really did not want to let you go," Astarion smiled, leaning in to lightly press a kiss to your lips, "I hope you realize that my love has made me a tad bit obsessed with you my dear."
"I'm sure it's no worse than me," You sighed, resting your forehead against his own, "You've really ruined me for anyone else haven't you?"
Astarion grinned, leaning in for another kiss. He had every intention of making it stay that way, for as long as you would have him.
#astarion#astarion x reader#astarion x tav#baldur's gate 3#long fic#asks#im feeling these asks#a mix of real dialouge and orginial#i make them so touchy feely#i feel like he kind of would be#but i dont blame the game guess that would be so much to animate oh my god
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I heard you were sad about the lack of Luke asks, so l've decided to try and help! Bare with me bc this might not be the best considering I'm think on the spot and its late over here so feel free to delete!
So, reader was with Luke when he was running away with Annie and Thalia so they're really close. Then, when her and Luke were like 16 or smth reader left on a quest and its been like 2 years so its assumed that she just failed and died on her quest. This ruined Luke bc he loved her and one night, maybe at the bonfire, he hears reader screaming his name somewhere in the foresty part of camp, just absolutely terrified. He finds her and shes hurt, I'm talkin reallyyy messed up like a massive gash across her eye, (matching scar awww) leavin her like half blind, huge claw marks, teeth marks, and other wounds. He carries her to the infirmary, shes prob passed out at this point from like blood loss. Anyways, she finally wakes up in the infirmary and a bunch of fluff ensues, yk the usual "Don't ever leave me again" "I thought you were dead" the fun stuff and obv they confess to each other! (also, is 🖤 taken?)
whoever made this request, it was so good, you’re evil and brilliant; thank you 🖤
MDNI. luke castellan x fem!reader
warnings: wounds, injuries, blood mention, presumed death, luke being heartbroken (sorry), crying
reminder: english's not my first language so l apologize for any spelling mistakes
₊˚⊹♡
Every morning, Luke woke with the same dull ache in his chest, a constant reminder of the gaping hole your absence had left in him. It was a hollow ache, a physical manifestation of the loneliness that had become his unwelcome company. Nine years old when he ran away, the world had been a harsh teacher, but three years later, when he found you, that harshness had softened, replaced by a fierce protectiveness. You, a scared, twelve-year-old with defiance blazing in your eyes and a meager weapon in hand, had become his anchor in the storm.
The streets had been a cruel way of living, but together, you and Luke had forged a bond stronger than steel. You were the same age, yet he was older by a few months, a difference that somehow granted him a silent responsibility for your safety. Thalia and Annabeth, two more lost souls swept up in the world of their demigod destinies, completed their unbalanced family. But it was you and Luke, the two eldest, who shared a silent language of understanding that went beyond words. You fought together, scavenged together, your backs against the world.
The arrival of Grover, a satyr reeking of panic, brought relief and a terrifying truth— you weren't alone. The hunt for demigods was real, and you were all in danger.
Fourteen. A year etched in his memory with the sharp point of a spear. The monsters, the desperate fight, Thalias selfless sacrifice, the agonizing transformation into the pine tree — the events played on a loop in his mind. Camp Half-Blood, once a beacon of hope, now felt like a bittersweet prison. He had you by his side then, a hand to grip in the darkness, a silent understanding in your shared gaze.
It wasn't supposed to be this way. You were supposed to be there, by his side, facing challenges and forging a future together. He replayed the memory of your first quest announcement on a loop. The fear in his gut, a slap in the face of his fierce protectiveness. He wasn't supposed to lose you.
It wasn't fair. It shouldn't have been you, alone, facing whatever monstrous fate had befallen you. A bitter taste filled his mouth as he replayed the day you left. The forced cheer, the worry that gnawed at him, all a blur now. Training became a way to numb the ache, each swing of his sword carrying a silent plea for your sate return. But as days turned into months, the hope that had fueled him began to fade away.
News traveled slow in the demigod world, but eventually, rumors reached Camp Half-Blood. Whispers of a monstrous encounter, a lost trail, a silence that stretched too long. A year after your departure, the whispers solidified into a grim reality - you were missing, presumed dead.
Luke felt the world tilt on its axis. Denial battled with a cold, horrifying truth. You were gone.
A quest, a single solitary mission, had stolen you from him. Stolen your laughter, your warmth, your presence that had become an essential part of his world. It wasn't fair.
The quest for the Golden Apple had been a cruel twist of fate. A desperate attempt to appease his father, to offer a sliver of hope to a camp drowning in sadness, it had backfired spectacularly. Luke returned empty-handed, his body wracked with exhaustion and his spirit battered. But the most visible reminder of his failure was the jagged scar that ran from beneath his eye down to his chin, a pale testament to the dragon's fury.
He'd needed your presence then more than ever. Needed your steady gaze and the quiet strength you possessed. Needed the spark of defiance in your eyes that mirrored his own growing anger towards a world that had seemed so determined to tear them apart. He needed your touch, your hugs, he needed you.
He stood stiffly before your burial shroud, an image carved in his memory forever. Tears streamed down his face, hot and unchecked. He ignored the concerned glances of his friends, focusing only on the phantom warmth of your hand in his, a memory more vivid than anything else.
In that moment, ravaged by grief, a single truth burned bright — he loved you. And he had lost you. The world felt a little emptier, a little colder, without you by his side.
And the first nights after you left were the worst.
At first, they were hopeful visions. He'd see you, alone on a dusty road, tending to a nasty gash on your arm with a makeshift bandage. A surge of worry would course through him, a familiar anxiety honed by years on the streets. But then, a wry smile would tug at his lips as he remembered the countless times he'd taught you how to create a tourniquet, how to patch a wound and survive on the bare minimum. A flicker of confidence, a belief in your resourcefulness, would chase away the initial fear. He just knew you'd find a way back to him.
He'd wake with a jolt, his hand instinctively reaching for the empty space beside him. The sheets were cold, the air thick with the silence of your absence. But then, a flicker of hope would ignite— you were alive, you were out there.
Finally, the dreams turned into nightmares. You'd appear, but not the way he remembered you. Pale and gaunt, your eyes hollow and vacant. Sometimes, you'd be chased by monstrous shadows, their grotesque forms dissolving into a chilling whisper of your name. These dreams left him gasping for breath, his heart hammering against his ribs.
It had been a little over a year since the agonizing ceremony, the image of your burial shroud seared into his memory. But time, a supposed healer, offered no solace. In reality, it had stretched the fact of your absence even wider. Two years. Two years since he'd last seen your smile, heard your voice, felt the warmth of your hand in his.
"Luke!"
Ah, yes. He heard you sometimes. At first, it happened while he was alone; he believed it could be you, trying to contact him in some way, but it never was that way. He never found you. Then he started hearing your voice in crowded places, mistaking your voice for the ones of other campers, and his heart ached every time he realized it wasn't you.
He felt like he was going insane. Hearing you, even after years. He must be going mad. But then, it became clearer.
"Luke!"
The voice, barely audible above the crackling flames, cut through his thoughts like a knife. He froze, his hand tightening around the thin stick that held his burned marshmallow. Was it-? No. It couldn't be. He must be imagining things again.
The grief, the pain, he knew, could play tricks on the mind.
He brushed it off, attempting to rejoin the conversation, forcing a lightness to his voice that felt hollow. But then, it came again. Clearer this time, tinged with a desperate urgency.
"Luke!? Luke!"
The single word, laden with a desperate urgency, pierced through his defenses. He froze, his blood turning to ice. It was your voice. The same voice that filled his dreams and haunted his waking hours. He whipped his head around, searching the darkened forest beyond the fire's reach.
But the trees stood silent, their branches swaying gently in the night breeze. Nothing. Yet, the echo of your voice lingered in the air, a chilling reminder of the impossible. His heart pounded in his chest, a frantic drum against his ribs.
He glanced around the fire, catching the bewildered expressions of a few campers who had clearly heard the voice too. Their eyes mirrored the confusion and fear that clawed at him. If he said anything, they'd think he'd cracked, that the pain had finally driven him mad.
"Luke!"
But it was you.
Your voice, unmistakable and undeniably real. A wave of disbelief washed over him, followed by a surge of hope so intense it threatened to suffocate him.
He scrambled to his feet, ignoring the surprised yelps of his friends as he knocked over a tray of steaming hot cocoa cups. Stumbling over his own feet, he charged towards the edge of the forest, his heart pounding a frantic rhythm against his ribs.
He skidded to a halt just inside the treeline, his eyes scanning the darkness. "yn!?" he called out, his voice hoarse with a mixture of fear and desperate hope. The only reply was the rustling of leaves in the night breeze.
It was cloaked in darkness, making it impossible to discern any details. But there was a smallness, a fragility to its silhouette that resonated with his memory of you.
Just as doubt began to creep back in, another call pierced the silence. "Luke!" This time, the desperation in your voice was unmistakable.
He didn't hesitate any longer. "yn!" he roared, his voice raw with emotion as he launched himself into a run.
Several campers, roused by the commotion, scrambled to their feet, their eyes wide with confusion and trepidation. They watched, mouths agape, as Luke bolted towards the treeline, his long strides eating away at the distance.
"Luke!" Your voice came again, closer this time, tinged with a note of panic.
"yn!" He didn't dare slow down, his heart making its way up to his mouth. He could hear the sound of others following him, their footsteps pounding on the soft earth behind him.
Through the dense foliage, he caught a glimpse of your figure — small, hunched over, moving with a limp. Hope flared bright within him, battling the tide of fear that threatened to drown him.
Then, you stumbled, nearly falling. He redoubled his efforts, pushing himself to the limit. As he broke through the last line of trees, he saw you standing there, bathed in the pale moonlight.
And his breath hitched in his throat.
The sight of you, once vibrant and full of life, was a punch to the gut. Dirt and grime smeared your face, your clothes were ripped and tattered, and a sheen of sweat covered your brow. But it was the wounds that stole his breath away. Deep claw marks raked across your arms, a bloody gash marred your leg, and the most horrifying of all — a massive scar stretched across your eye, a brutal reminder of some unseen battle. The campers behind him gasped in unison, their faces etched with shock and horror.
Chiron, alerted by the commotion, pushed his way through the crowd, his brow furrowed in concern.
But your focus was solely on Luke. With a desperate cry of his name, you lurched towards him, your injured leg buckling beneath you. Without hesitation, Luke launched himself forward, catching you in his arms just before you hit the ground.
"Luke..." you whispered, your voice barely a breath. Your eyes, the one that wasn't obscured by the wound, flickered with a spark of relief and a hint of something else - a deep, unspoken emotion that mirrored his own.
Then, your eyelids fluttered closed, and your body went limp in his arms. Panic surged through him as he cradled you closer, his voice hoarse with a mixture of fear and relief. " yn? No, no, no, no, yn?" he slightly slapped your cheek, no response. He looked back to to the campers that decided to follow him, his voice cracking with desperation. "Get the Apollo cabin, now!"
The days that followed your arrival were shrouded in a suffocating silence. The once vibrant camp seemed to echo with a collective held breath. No one dared to talk to Luke.
His eyes, once playful and sparkly, now held a deep, smoldering anger. He snapped at anyone who dared to approach. Only Chiron, with his patient wisdom, Annabeth, with her loyalty, and the healers of Apollo cabin, sworn to secrecy about your condition, were able to pierce the storm raging within him.
Each day, a relentless routine unfolded. Luke would rise with the first rays of dawn, his body heavy with the weight of his own despair. He'd force down a meager breakfast, the taste turning to ash in his mouth. Then, with a heart that felt like a lead weight in his chest, he'd make the agonizing trek to the Big House, the temporary haven where you resided. He would do it multiple times a day, actually.
Lee, the son of Apollo with a mop of messy blonde hair and eyes that held a touch of empathy, would greet him at the door, a practiced neutrality masking his concern. The answer was always the same. You were alive. The healers had managed to stabilize you. But your recovery was a slow, painful journey. The wounds you bore were a testament to a harrowing pain, and the care they had taken on your body was immense.
As soon as you had fainted in his arms, you had slipped into unconsciousness. No amount of coaxing, no whispered pleas from the healers, or songs in Ancient Greek, could bring you back. Luke was devastated. The relief of having you back, a physical presence after two agonizing years, was a fragile flame quickly extinguished by the reality of your condition. Your life hung by a thread, and he was kept at arm's length.
One particularly bleak afternoon, Luke found himself face-to-face with Chiron. The old centaur, his kind eyes reflecting the turmoil swirling within Luke, gestured for him to sit.
"Luke," Chiron began, his voice soft yet firm, "I understand your pain. Your worry for yn is valid and understandable. But you must also understand, her condition is delicate"
Luke clenched his fists, his jaw tightening with suppressed anger. "Why can't I see her? Annabeth's younger than me and yet, she gets to see her. Why not me?" The words tumbled out, laced with a raw desperation.
Chiron sighed, a weary sound. "Because, Luke," he said, his voice heavy with empathy, "we fear the emotional toll it might take on you if-, if the worst were to happen."
He slumped in his chair, defeated. Grief, anger, and a gnawing helplessness battled within him.
"How long then?" he rasped, his voice barely a whisper. "How long will it be before I can see her again?"
Chiron reached out, placing a comforting hand on Luke's shoulder. "We don't know, Luke" he said honestly. "But the healers are doing their best And you need to find your strength. She will need it when she wakes up”
He nodded dumbly, understanding Chiron's concern for him. But that didn't make the gnawing ache in his chest any less agonizing. He missed you. Missed the warmth of your hand in his, the light that sparkled in your eyes, the way your laughter could chase away even the darkest shadows.
A few days later, he walked by the Big House again. Lee greeted him again, just as every other day.
"How is she?" Luke asked.
Lee sighed, a gust of exasperation tinged with sympathy. He looked tired himself, dark circles under his eye and a large cup of coffee in his hand. "Little change. But she's stable. Stronger than she looks. We had some healers fainting because of how much singing they've done to her"
A muscle ticked in Luke's jaw. "Can't I at least see her?" The words came out harsher than he intended, dripping with frustration.
Lee studied him for a long moment, his own blue eyes reflecting the turmoil within Luke. Finally, he spoke. "Look, I get it. You're scared, you're angry. But you have to understand, seeing her like this... we can't let you"
Luke clenched his fists. "I can handle it" he growled, the beast within him straining against its leash.
Lee took a step closer, his voice dropping to a low murmur. "Can you, Luke? Can you handle the possibility that maybe she doesn't get to wake up?"
The question hung in the air, a brutal truth that stripped away Luke's bravado. He stared at Lee, the anger draining away, replaced by a raw vulnerability that surprised even him. He swallowed hard, the lump in his throat suddenly making it hard to breathe.
"No" he whispered, the single word a confession of his deepest fear.
Lee nodded, a flicker of understanding softening his features. "Then trust us, Luke. Trust the healers. We're doing everything we can."
And then he remember Chiron's words. He knew he was right. He couldn't bear the thought of the last image of you being one of unconsciousness, a pale specter in a sterile infirmary bed.
The days that followed settled into a grim routine. Luke stopped asking the relentless question, 'Did she wake up?' The answer, etched into his weary soul, was a constant ache that no words could soothe. He had stopped arguing, the initial burst of rebellion replaced by a quiet desperation. He started asking more specific questions, focusing on the details of your injuries. Your eye, the massive gash that mirrored his own scar in a way that made his stomach churn, became a particular point of morbid fascination.
He couldn't bear to look at the jagged mark on his face, couldn't imagine how it felt on yours.
Not because he thought you wouldn't be beautiful —he knew you would be. But the thought of you facing the same constant reminder of pain, of vulnerability, filled him with a protective rage that simmered beneath the surtace.
But then, a shift began to occur. He noticed stolen glances exchanged between the Apollo campers, hushed whispers that died down as soon as he entered their vicinity. An unspoken secret they guarded fiercely. He tried to ignore it, burying himself in training, seeking solace in the familiar sting of sweat and exertion. Chiron's words were a constant drumbeat in his head - seeing you too soon, on the precipice of death, was a burden he might not bear.
But later that day, as the sun dipped below the horizon casting the camp in an orange glow, Chiron sought him out. Luke braced himself, his heart plummeting into his stomach. His mind spun with a thousand morbid possibilities.
He met Chiron's gaze, a storm brewing in his own eyes. "What is it?" he rasped, voice breaking.
Chiron took a deep breath, his eyes locking onto Luke's with a solemn intensity. "Luke," he began, his voice thick with a mix of trepidation and hope, "she's awake."
The world seemed to tilt on its axis again. The air whooshed out of Luke's lungs, leaving him breathless. For a moment, he could only stare, his mind struggling to process the simple, life-altering statement.
Then he ran.
His feet pounded a trantic rhythm against the dusty path, each step fueled by a desperate need to see you. Chiron's protests, if there were any, were lost in the roar of blood rushing in his ears. He wouldn't be denied this. Not now. His legs pumped like pistons, fueled by a desperate hope that threatened to shatter him if it turned out to be false. He burst through the doors of the Big House, nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste. The interior was deserted, the silence amplifying the frantic pounding of his heart.
He flung open the infirmary door, the sight inside momentarily stealing his breath. Two Apollo campers stood by the window, their hushed whispers abruptly cut short by his arrival.
But his eyes were locked on you, the very image of him defying the cruelty of fate.
You sat on the bed, a fragile silhouette bathed in the pale light, your head bent over your bandaged hands. Your hair, once a fiery mane, had grown longer, a testament to the time that had passed for him in a blur of grief. Your skin, usually kissed by the sun, was a pale canvas.
He took everything in — the fresh cuts marring your arms, the claw marks, the way your shoulders slumped with exhaustion. And you had lifted your head, startled by the sudden noise.
Your eyes, usually sparkling with life, were dull with pain, but when they met his, a spark ignited within them.
"Luke!"
The word ripped from your throat, a cry that echoed with relief and a tremor of something deeper. You lunged off the bed, ignoring the wince that contorted your face as your injured leg protested.
"yn, wait!" Lee sprang forward, concern etched on his face. Your stitches, particularly those on your thigh, were still fresh, and any sudden movement could cause them to tear.
But you didn't listen. You threw yourself at Luke, your arms wrapping around him with a desperation that mirrored his own. He caught you, the impact sending a jolt through his body. His arms tightened around you, a desperate need to hold on, to feel you solid against him.
He held you tight, the fierce possessiveness in his grip both a comfort and a warning. Your body, the way you fit so perfectly against his larger frame, sent a jolt through him. He'd grown, you realized, his broad shoulders feeling wider, his embrace stronger. In contrast, you felt impossibly small, the warrior you remembered replaced by a shell of the person you once were. His hot tears quickly started to wet your hair.
The sudden weakness in your leg, the one that had been screaming in protest since you lunged at him, finally overwhelmed you. A sharp cry escaped your lips as your body gave way beneath you. Instinctively, Luke tightened his grip, his arms morphing into a cradle to catch your fall.
The impact with the floor sent a fresh wave of pain shooting through you, but it was a dull ache compared to the overwhelming joy of finally being in his arms again. You clung to him, your fingers digging into his back, burying your face in the crook of his neck. Luke wouldn't stop sobbing now, his shoulder shaking as his arms held you into his embrace.
The Apollo campers, sensing the intimacy of the moment, mumbled apologies as they slipped out of the infirmary, leaving you and Luke alone.
He cradled you close, the scent of your hair and the warmth of your body a balm to his battered soul. He buried his face in your hair, inhaling the familiar fragrance that had haunted his dreams for so long. It was real. You were real.
"You're alive" he sobbed, the words a broken mantra against your ear. "You're alive" he repeated. Each repetition wasn't just for you, but for him, a desperate attempt to convince himself that this wasn't a cruel dream, that you weren't an illusion.
He pulled back slightly, cupping your face in his hand, his thumb gently tracing the line of your jaw. The wounds looked clean now, stitched and bandaged, but the raw pain was etched in the lines around your eyes. The gash across your eye, a crimson scar angry and fresh, pulled at the corner of your eye, making it appear swollen and bruised. Yet, to him, you were the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen.
It started a finger's width above your eyebrow, then, just as abruptly, it dipped down, catching the outer corner of your eye. The scar tissue pulled the delicate skin, making your eye appear slightly narrowed and bloodshot.
But despite the rawness of the wound, despite the vulnerability etched on your face, there was something undeniably fierce about you. It was a look he hadn't seen before, a look born from surviving the unthinkable.
Tears welled up in your eyes again, blurring your vision. You had always been beautiful, that much was undeniable. But now, even with a scar contrasting against your features, you were breathtaking.
He didn't mean to say it out loud, but the words tumbled from his lips before he could stop them.
"You look beautiful" he breathed, his voice thick with emotion.
His words sent a shiver down your spine. You leaned into his touch, seeking solace in the warmth of his hand. "It hurts" you whispered, a tear tracing a path down your cheek.
"I know" he murmured, his voice filled with empathy. He sniffed uncontrollably at your sight, so broken and fragile, wrapped around his arm. "But you're alive. You're here" his bottom lip started trembling before he could control it. He inhaled sharply and his voice came out shaky; "I thought you were dead" tears rolling down his cheeks.
You laughed, a weak sound that was more like a sob. "You won't get rid of me that easily"
He leaned in, his forehead resting against yours, his breath warm on your skin. In that moment, the infirmary with its sterile smell and harsh light faded away. All that existed was the feel of you in his arms, the warmth of your body against his, and the knowledge that you were alive.
"Don't ever leave me again" he pleaded, his voice thick with a mix of relief and terror. The thought of losing you again, of facing another agonizing day without you, was almost unbearable.
"I wouldn't dream of it" you whispered.
#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan#luke castellan blurb#pjo series#pjo#luke castellan x you#luke x reader#luke castellan one shot#luke castellan fic#luke castellan imagine#pjo x reader#pjo x you#luke castellan x female reader#luke castellan x fem!reader#luke castellan x y/n#luke castellan imagines
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ive finished both archon quests and all i can say is:
what the fuck :D
#just genshin <3#THAT TOOK SUCH A TURN IN A DIRECTION I WASNT EXPECTING????#THE STORY WAS SO WELL WRITTEN AND IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT QUEST UPDATES#but neuvillette once again proving that my taste in men is consistent :'D#hes so !!!!! sobbing#but with the new lore we now have i have so many ideas.... i could make a really good angst + bittersweet + hurt/(no) comfort fic for him..#but also it just adds more inspo to my og fic idea for him so raarggh#anyway i will now building my neuvie funds and making a build for him with the new artifact domain i will be slaving away in 💪#and im at 60-smth pity on the weapon banner so technically if i get him early AND win the 50/50 i could go for his weapon.... hmmmmm
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Me because the Percy Jackson series is actually about the different cycles of abuse, which include abuse within romantic partners (Sally and Gabe), abuse between “family” (Percy and Gabe, Meg and Nero), abuse from people in positions of power (the gods over the demigods), and so on, oppression than ranges from having adhd in the public educational system to being forced to perform quests for your entire life for people who could not care less about your well-being, how camp is both somewhere safe but also the bittersweet taste of arriving there and realizing you can never escape, you can never be normal your life will never be the same. There’s no turning back. How Luke was right on theory but not on acts, how these kids got around the idea to never make it to 18, and how there was nothing they could do about that. How many of them sat in their cabins, counting down the days until their sibling/friend/partner came back, only for them to not come back at all. Was it ever their turn to leave someone waiting behind? Annabeth, Percy, Grover, Thalia, the whole deal with Nico, Bianca, Silena, and every single demigod. Children of Apollo were the camp healers, was it a choice? A moral obligation? In camp Jupiter there’s Jason, there’s Reyna, Piper’s story, Leo’s story, Leo lived on the street, the way Jason and Piper’s relationship was heteronormativity pushed by Hera because both of them were queer but she wanted a perfect couple. After being gone missing, people searched for Percy, but Jason? The devastation of Leo and Jason’s relationship, how Leo never knew his feelings for him were required, how both Leo and Piper thought they knew Jason but it was all fake memories, how Jason never fully got his memories back. Hazel’s story, Frank’s story, how Nico and Leo’s mutual dislike for each other comes from a place of understatement. How they both see themselves in each other and look away as one looks away from a mirror when they dislike their reflection. They are both so similar, almost the same. They both are also autistic, except Leo is always masking, and Nico never really learnt how to. Neurodivergence, adhd and dyslexia. Being a demigod is a metaphor for neurodiversity. Was Dionysus actual punishment looking over camp? Or was it spending years and years seeing demigods come and grow and die? Knowing there was nothing he could do about it? Knowing than if he was with the gods, he would be causing their deaths, instead of grieving them? Does Chiron feel hopeless? Memory, names, ghosts. Blades, swords, arrows, blood. So many blood, blood-stained hands. Monsters follow you before coming to camp, did they hurt you family? It was all your fault. They don’t want you to come back, you bring danger, you’re more dangerous than the monster, you are a monster yourself, after all the Minotaur was a demigod too. Leo killed his mother, Zeus killed Maria, Sally got taken to the underworld, Tristan was held hostage, Fredrick and his wife and sons got attacked by monsters, and who’s fault it was? You run away you keep on running but you’ll never outrun the danger because the danger is yourself, you are at fault, how do you run away now?
The odyssey, the iliad, the statues in museums, you look at them, do you see yourself? Do you see any resemble? Your nose kinda looks like theirs, the shape of their lips, the width of their hands, but that’s a lie you’re nothing like them, never will be, is that a tragedy? Do you want to be like them? Do you want to be a hero and die a heroic death? Or do you simply wish to visit your family on Christmas and live the life your little cousins will eventually live? Maybe you’ll never see the life they’ll live, maybe you’ll die before seeing it. There’s nothing to be done about that, you just have to accept it. Don’t you feel the rage, bubbling inside of you, making your hands shake? What can you do with it? Not much, remember last time, remember Luke, what did he accomplish? Nothing, blood, screams. You remember the war, you remember the city, maybe it was the first or the second time you set a foot on it, now every single time you do (if you do) in the future, it will be tainted. Look in that corner, that used to be destroyed. Look at that building, my friend died against that wall, that road was filled with blood. Was it ours? Theirs? Is there even a difference between us? Should there be? Why were you on your side? Why were they in theirs? Who was right? Who was wrong? You can go anywhere but home, maybe you’re not welcomed, maybe there’s no home to return, maybe it’s better for everyone if you don’t return. Nico keeps Bianca’s jacket, Leo taps iloveyou on Morse code. Piper was forced to be someone she wasn’t, she thought she was someone she was not, she was forced to think that. Who is she? Is she even who she thought she was? Jason still don’t remembers everything, and him? Who is he? Nico will never get his memories back, he wonders about his mom, did he have more family back then? Grandparents, aunts? Hazel is a walking curse. Silena and Clarisse as Patroklos and Achilles. Apollo seeing the brutal reality of demigods’ life on trials of apollo.
Your hand shakes, the sword you hold moves, you feel it’s weight, do you want to hold it? Do you have to?
The dead come back to haunt us, Nico sees Bianca everywhere, Leo still remembers his mother’s voice, Hazel came back from the dead, Frank holds his life on his pocket, Thalia lost a brother twice, Leo didn’t really die, Jason died instead, Percy wished to drown himself, half of camp still waits for their brother to come back, even if it has been months, even if it has been years. Luke’s mother still waits, was she crazy? The campers who thought to recognize their friend’s face for a second before remembering than it couldn’t possibly be them, were they crazy too? Who was crazier? Luke’s mother who did not remember, or the campers who did? The underworld has no mercy only justice, but the world has no justice only mercy. You might get mercy, but you never will get justice. Was it fair anything than happened to them? You might be spared in a war or in a battle out of mercy, out of pity, out of recognition, but that didn’t stop you from having to fight in it, that didn’t stop you from having to wield the sword. Spare all the people you want, turn a blind eye to whatever you want, mercy? sure, but you were still holding the sword, you were still supposed to fight, you still weren’t in charge of your life. How was that justice? How was that fair? Names had power, even their names had more power than your life, even the letters making up their names were more powerful than your fists, could you ever win? Could you ever win when their names were so powerful they could not be pronounced but your life was so worthless they didn’t even care to learn yours? To learn the names of the ones than died because of them. You can’t say the name of you sister’s killer, but you’re still expected to burn an offering to them each night at dinner.
#ahahah this is my super cool and canon version of Percy Jackson than exits on my head ok#can you tell i hate the pjo gods like#a LOT#*exists#pjo#luke castellan#rick riordan#toa#hoo
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