#this progression is heartbreaking ngl

[warblogs17282]

So we've all talked about the fact that Stolas caught Stella's hand in this scene, but I don't think I've really seen anyone discuss Stella's reaction to Stolas doing that.

Like, there's three things about Stella's reaction here that I want to point out.

1: If you go frame by frame, you can see Stella's white pupil in her eye twitch very briefly.

2: Stella's pupil is now facing downwards, no longer looking right at Stolas, but at either the floor or her hand in Stolas' grasp.

3: Look at her mouth being wide open, just being frozen in place.

All 3 of these things point to one conclusion, the fact that Stella is genuinely shocked that Stolas caught her hand as she was trying to hit Stolas.

Plus, how the next few seconds of the scene progresses also confirms this fact.

Stella is now looking directly at Stolas again, with her mouth now being ever so slightly more closed.

And then it's right back to the angry face again, with her mouth now closed, and her eye is now more narrow, to look at Stolas even more directly.

Stella's reaction to Stolas resisting her attack just doubly confirms that Stella has used physical violence against Stolas, many, many times, and that this is most likely the first time that Stolas has actually resisted her attacks, explaining why Stella looks so shocked that Stolas has caught her hand.

Which just makes Stolas' line of "The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life." a bit more heartbreaking to hear ngl.

I'm still so goddamn proud of Stolas for standing up to Stella.

[kamiko1234]

So, the same friends who got me to read the Percy Jackson have (against my will) spoiled me by showing me this image :

Telling me his name was Jason and that he's gonna get important later on.

Now ngl, I will admit, for a hot second I though that was Luke. They look alike as fuck, and I now have developed a problem of switching up their names 'cause I accidentally clocked them under the same person. Fuck. But also, they really look alike. So, in a burst of inspiration and excitment I shall present to thee my theory :

THAT'S LUKE'S LONG LOST TWIN BROTHER

NOW HEAR ME OUT; I KNOW a first name and pic isn't MUCH to go off on, BUT LIKE- I feel I might have gotten something there. Because- this sort of resemblance HAS to be on purpose. Like, they HAVE to be related in some way and physically speaking they ARE around the same age. SO LIKE; IMAGINE THIS : what if, when Luke/Jason were in the whomb, only one of them got their father's power ? While for the other one it stayed dormant to the point where Jason could basically pass as a normal human, unlike his brother ? With Annabeth we have seen that it can be dangerous for a mortal family to have a demigod child with them due to the threat monsters pose. WE ALSO KNOW LUKE RAN AWAY FROM HOME. SO MY THEORY !?

Basically, Jason/Luke are twin brothers. Luke inherited the largest and most obvious godly part from their father. Jason on the other hand inherited next to nothing, allowing him to pass as normal human. (As far as I know there's no point where it's mentioned that it isn't possible for this to happen) As the twins grow up and Luke attracts more monsters, it get#s progressively more dangerous for the seemingly human Jason. Shit hit's the fan when during a monster attack, jason get's severely injured (that#s where he got that weird scar on his lip). His twin, Luke, horrified at what happened and under the believe his twin is dead decided to run away and get to Camp Halfblood. That's where me meets up with Annabeth and Thalia ect. HOWEVER, Jason wasn't dead. Heavily injured, yes. But NOT dead. He did however have a nasty case of amnesia. A complete clean slate, he remembered NOTHING. Their mother, not rly having been the biggest fan of Jason bc of how he endangered basically everyone around him, just straight up lied to Jason abt his twin. SO NOW I DID NOTICE THAT JASON HAS THAT NECKLACE FROM CAMP HALLFBLOOD WITH ONE BEAD SO MY IDEA FOR THAT !? He's a late bloomer. It only seemed like he got little to no powers from his father, but as he grew older the powers slowly started to surface. That meant he too started to get demigod powers as well as him starting to attract monsters.

Which is why he too has to come to camp. HIM COMMING SO LATE IS ALSO WHY HE HAS THAT WACKY ASS PURPLE SHIRT. (I'll be real I have no idea what to make of that. Looks like a spelling mistake or someone just smashing random keys on a keyboard. It isn't looking like a band to me either. Maybe it's just smth in-universe) I also have no idea what that wacky tattoo is that he has. HOWEVER; I could possibly see a future Luke centric plot where it's him going out to get his long lost twin brother back ! Possibly the plot for the 2nd book maybe ? Another theory of mine is that, should either Annabeth or Grover be the one to betray Percy and switch sides, Luke would be the one to fill in their spot in the trio. So that could possibly play into my theory, would also allow for some nice backstory exploring. But also the heartbreak of Luke finding out his twin brother who he thought DIED is alive, BUT ALSO DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER HIM !?

I wanna see that angst. PS; ok while tagging I noticed there's no Jason Castellan tag. Which, okay may be a problem. But dw Jason props just changed last names post amnesia. Maybe his mother simply got married to someone and Jason took the man's lastname. My theory can still work. (Unfortunatly @mrfandomwars said that, when I asked abt Jason's current lastname, it would invlove revealing more canon which I don't want. So Jason ain#t gonna be tagged....)

[lysreadsbookssometimes]

I watched the finale of young royals and here are some of my rambles, collected while watching. Enjoy.

Spoilers!!!

So i didn't make it a minute, i paused at 00:59 because i could already feel the tears coming up. What the hell.

I honestly didn't expect the reactions to the closing to be that way. A lot of screaming and blaming? Sure. But August breaking down? Very in character, but unexpected.

I was especially surprised by Vincent going for a hug to calm him down. Really surprised me.

Felice is probably my favorite person in this show ngl

And they see each other from across the room, through the partying people, and we have come full circle back to the first episode. Honestly poetic. I love it.

August got redeemed. And although i am still rationally thinking about the consequences, emotionally it works. My emotional side thinks he's earned it. Somehow.

Felice and Sara making up is healing my soul

Nils finally coming out to his friends. No comments, just that.

They are wrapping everything up so beautifully in the first 30 mins. All the smaller things. The rush from the "last" everything, everybody finally getting their shit in order, all of it. Beautiful.

I am also insanely worried about what is going to happen now. I am writing this at timestamp 26:25 and the 30:53 of emotional damage on the other side of the progress bar is still staring at me. We'll see.

And the interaction between August and Sara just killed me. And its not even over. I had to pause so i could handle Augusts puppy eyes after the rejection. Judging from the big sip of cider i just took i was subconsiously rooting for them. I think i just want them to be happy. All of them. Even Sara and August.

Okay homebro is panicking so bad he PROPOSED, he is down BAD

Also the line "You love who you are when you are with me" was killer, oh my god

The last kiss. The wiping away the tears. "It will pass." Wound, Salt, and then they twist the knife.

But it is a fitting ending. It works. It fits their characters, their journeys. They wouldn't have worked out in the long run and they get their ending. Both heartbroken, but on their way to healing.

I love and hate the idea of "one last night together". It implies and ending i am still dreading. But they deserve to forget everything for a night.

I honestly didn't realize it was still sun out and it caught me off guard so bad (or is that a sunrise? I am so confused)

I don't have the scene on hand but i am pretty sure they framed the scene in the bed at the end of s3e5 the same way as them lying on the blanket (?) here. Super interesting visual storytelling.

(Small detail here, i recently had a crash course on tv journalism and a big part of that was scenes and pictures, thats why i pay so much attention to the visual language here)

The entire lake scene is beautifully shot. The way they have mirroring motions (like brushing hair out of Willes face) in different perspectives, the way the water is shot, the entire calmness of all of it. And then they have these emotional conversations under it that build up these emotions, with these big pauses in speech, drawing out this bit of retrieve from everything.

The way they show Simon swimming away, the distance between them, when they speak about exactly that.

And how they go from Wille sitting at the lake, watching Simon swim, being physically not in the same thing as him (the lake), Simon swimming away, and then the cut over to him alone in his bed.

Beautiful, artistic storytelling.

Also fucking heartbreaking, i am nearly crying already and there are 23 minutes and 54 seconds left to completely destroy me.

I am clutching to the hope that twenty minutes are left to figure everything out and that that would be too long for this to be the end. Twenty minutes, 30% of the finale, cannot and will not be the epilogue, i dont think thats likely and i also refuse to believe that.

Okay, Stella and Frederika are finally together, at least some of my sanity is clutching on. I literally yelled "fuck yeah" and punched the air.

Henry and Valter (i hope i spelled that right) together in the fields also makes me happy. I know they were shipped a lot and although I am not a religious shipper of them, i am rooting for them. Go them.

Wille taking down the pictures could also be taking the happiness out of my heart. Whats wrong with the showrunners for making us do this rollercoaster?!?!

Also him taking off Erik and him before Simon and him. Beautiful.

OH MY GOD THE BIRTHDAY GIFT

I am not prepared. Not at all. Oh my god.

Is that like a farewell? Or a "stay with me"?

Not ready. Will press play though and hug my pillow expectantly.

I made it like three seconds. WILLES SONG?!?!?!!?!?

Wille walking through Hillerska. Seeing all those spots. All those memories.

EVERYONE TAKING DOWN PICTURES. THE GOODBYES.

THE SONG. THE SONG.

Don't let them make you hide yourself.

The callback to the football field.

"WE WERE NEVER WHAT WAS WRONG" !!!!!

All the callbacks. "I could be free" was from the "he would give up the crown for you" scene, if i recall correctly. Simon is revisiting every moment in their story.

"'Cause we were a revolution" WHY IS THIS IN PAST TENSE? NO. NO!

It shouldn't be a revolution to love another.

That quote itself. Then showing August and Sara. Back to Wille.

What is slightly concerning to me is that they haven't shown Simon yet. His voice is singing, but they show everyone but him. (Sara was on the picture, i count that, but he is nowhere. Just a ghost of memories.)

"You were my revolution before it fell apart" I'M SORRY JUST TAKE MY HEART, BREAK IT AND STOMP ON IT. SURE, GO AHEAD, DIDN'T NEED IT ANYWAY

(sorry, this shit is getting to me)

(Although, you apparently read this far through my chaos, so honestly your fault)

(Still cool you're still here)

THE SNOW GLOBE. IN THE TRASH. BROKEN. DISCARDED.

Now, are we discarding Erik or are we discarding broken and damaged things? Like this relationship? fucking tell me i am losing it here

Wille looking at August after he officially graduated. I can't read his look. And i am so confused to the situation and emotions here. Because last time they were drunk, now they are sober and both their relationships with the Erikssons are basically over. That is an interesting dynamic.

SIMONS SONG INSTEAD OF THE CLASSIC HILLERSKA HYMN. SIMONS SONG ABOUT LOVING WILLE. THE ENTIRE REVOLUTION.

Wille standing alone. Then seeing his parents, behaving different from the other parents, but at least being there.

His mom trying. The hug.

And i am finally crying. These breaks to write down my thoughts have kept this at bay so far, but a mother trying and asking for forgiveness has finally broken me. (I should bring this up with my therapist)

Wille going after Simon. And his mother smiling at that.

The heartbeat in the background. After "I never gave up on us." Hope.

WHY ARE YOU SAYING GOODBYE

YOU STILL HAVE THIRTEEN MINUTES TO FIGURE IT OUT

And again Wille is telling Simon to enjoy a holiday. It was christmas. Now its the summer holidays.

But no "i love you"s. Just a heartbeat.

Simon leaving. Again.

And Wille is hesitating. I swear the heartbeat is speeding up. He is hesitating.

And i find myself yelling at the tv for him to finally move and go after him. Fight for him. Fight for them.

Fucking move. Get your man.

And this idiot walks physically backwards. Back to society and his parents, away from his love.

Fuck me, he called Simon the love of his life. And maybe he's young and doesn't know better. But i am not much older and am fairly sure someone would not say that if they didnt mean it. SO BETTER FUCKING GO AFTER HIM.

WHY ELSE WOULD THE HEARTBEAT BE THERE? i mean i am not a medical expert but i am pretty sure that was not one heartbeat, that sounded off. I hope it was two, two hearts and their beats, two lives entangled.

Felice and Sara are actively healing my soul. I am pretty sure i have written that sentence earlier but i refuse to check.

Also Wille being uncomfortable in the car. He should have run after Simon, than he wouldnt be, change my mind.

"You will be a fantastic king."

What if i don't want that?

Ladies, Gentlemen and friends of other assorted genders: FUCKING FINALLY

An honest, open, (somewhat) calm conversation. The one thing they have needed for three seasons. We finally have it. Finally.

The visual conflict of emotions in the queen. The motherly pride and concern for her child and the disappointment and fear of the monarch losing their heir. It's brilliant acting.

The realization on Augusts face hitting him when he sees Wilhelm leave.

The shaky camera as Wille is looking around, searching. The camera was steady in the car, a bit shaky around August, and now it is full on wobbling around. It is a panic, with the music, the emotions swelling.

And then he runs. And yells. And the camera gets steadier.

The regret in his face when he can't keep up anymore. And then the hope when he sees the car stop.

The relief in Willes voice when he tells Simon. And the pain in Simons eyes. Slowly morphing into hope.

The distance between them. When Wille was coming clean, they showed the faces, not the distance between them. Just that they were talking face to face. Now, as Wille asks, if Simon is done with him, they show this distance between them.

Simon starting to smile.

And now, paused, my brain moving faster than i can type, i was wondering why he was sitting in the backseat. They must have someone else in the car. And you can see Felice peeking through the rear window.

And the way they kiss. Passionately. Not holding back. Finally free.

All their moments. Their story. Their love. Finally, them saying i love you. To each other. In the open. Free. Declaring themselves. Together.

And Wille coming with them. Their little found family. Them whoooing in the car, like they did on that night at the football game on the motor bikes.

Them being happy.

And then that final look in the camera. Finally happy, finally free.

Cut to black.

Okay, that was absolutely brilliant.

I loved it, every second of it. It was a beautiful way of wrapping everything up, a happy ending at last. For everyone.

August becomes king. Or whatever. We dont care.

Sara and Felice make up. Are friends again. Are free together.

Felice finds herself outside of money and in people. In her friends.

Sara realizes she has people that care for her and see her as she is. She finds happiness in platonic love, not romantic.

Simon and Wille end up together, overcome their differences. Find a way.

Simon has his love and reconsiled with his sister. He can be true to himself and created his song, his music. Music that touches others, Music that others like.

And Wilhelm got out of that system that caused him so much pain. He got closure, threw away the snow globe, quit being royalty. He is free, the one thing he wanted all this time. Be happy, be himself, be free.

Sometimes family is a former crown prince, his musician boyfriend, a neurodivergent horse girl and the worlds best best friend.

[I think this is the point where i thank you for reading all this. I am going to post this without reading it a second time to keep myself surprised and not edit any reactions. But i hope the rambling made some sense. Thank you!]

[wikiangela]

tease tidibt tuesday

tagged by @jeeyuns @thewolvesof1998 @hippolotamus @jamespearce9-1-1 @daffi-990 💖💖

guess who's baaack - alive shannon my most beloved <3

ngl I've been kinda stuck on this one (writing s2 eddie is so hard, and buck's pov is fighting me haha) and I left it for a minute, and when I was trying to get back to it, I was writing like half a sentence a day

but today I got inspired and progress was made haha (this is obvi a rough draft, I'm just trying to get over this little slump haha)

prev snippet

___

“Dinner’s ready!” Eddie calls out, putting the plates down, then walking into the living room, where Buck can see Shannon and Chris still on the couch, surrounded by books and notebooks. “Mama, you need help getting to the table, or do you wanna stay there? We can eat with you on the couch.” Eddie adds, walking over to them and starting to clean up the homework mess.

“We’re not gonna eat on the couch.” Shannon rolls her eyes and tries to get up, but then winces in pain. 

“Let me help you.” Eddie sounds exasperated, already by Shannon’s side. “Why do you always do this?” he asks, sounding like they’ve been through this countless times already.

“I hate not being able to even move by myself.” Shannon grumbles, as Eddie helps her up, careful with her broken leg. Once she’s up, she leans against him, breathing heavily, just getting up taking a lot of effort. It’s a heartbreaking sight, and Buck just feels so awful for her. “This is ridiculous.”

“Just let me help you instead of trying to overexert yourself, and you’ll get better soon.” Eddie responds, sounding more concerned than annoyed. Buck empathizes with her, he knows he’d hate that, too.

Buck watches Eddie slowly help her get to the table, Chris right behind them, as he starts setting the table, suddenly feeling awkward again. It was nice, hanging out for a minute with Eddie, in his kitchen, like nothing’s changed. But now he feels out of place again, and hates that he’s making it about himself, even just in his own head. This woman almost died, and she’s the mother of the kid Buck would die for – and here he is, worrying about this new normal with her around, about how his comfort place doesn’t feel all that comfortable now.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @spagheddiediaz @housewifebuck @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @exhuastedpigeon @weewootruck @loserdiaz @jesuisici33 @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @ladydorian05 @lover-of-mine @malewifediaz @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @spotsandsocks @hoodie-buck @giddyupbuck @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @disasterbuckdiaz @diazpatcher

[vanmarkus]

This has been on my mind (obviously with everything that's been happening) and I'm curious if I'm alone in it. Do you sometimes think maybe they missed the window with buddie? That it should have happened in season 4 and maybe now they're trying to tell us it's too late? They keep digging the hole deeper for eddie, with shannon being the "the love of his life" he'll never get over and I just wonder if it'll ever make sense again in a way that's not a "consolation" because that would be unfair

so much to unpack here and I doubt you'll like my answer but I'm behind on asks anyway so why the hell not.

so here's the thing.

I am so SO happy that they didn't do buddie in season 4. a rushed season affected by covid with literally one episode lead-up? if we lean into the idea that the shooting/will arc was supposed to be that, that is.

(but mind you that has never been said or confirmed, they floated a bi Buck storyline that got shut down, at which stage we don't even know, could possibly have been before even having a script written for it and way before they even came up with the shooting arc itself.)

but if we lean into that then I would've found it lackluster, personally. I know not everyone holds the same opinions and that's totally fine.

but having two characters who have previously only ever dated and talked about women* suddenly kiss and start dating, without coming out, self-realisation, any other preamble aside from "you almost died/I almost died" which isn't exactly a new predicament for either of these characters...

(*in Buck's case the bi crumbs were huge and I always felt that it could've been a pretty natural progression if they just let us know that actually, Buck was out this whole time it just didn't come up on screen lmao but in all seriousness from a general audience standpoint? having both of them suddenly be together? even though, we had a lot of subtext, I just doubt it would've worked as well as it could work now.)

I mean sure, it might've been just the start and then they could've done a bit more background work for it in season 5, but even if Fox didn't shut it down (again, just a simple bi Buck storyline, not even two main characters on the show suddenly being in a queer relationship or leading up to it at the very least) the risk of not getting renewed for season 5 would've been higher than ever, so for them to leave it hanging at the end of the season would've been unlikely imo.

just to reiterate before moving on: all of the above is based on speculation and what ifs.

and about buddie in this current climate, well... I talked about this extensively so just to keep it short; though I'm more than content if not, I still believe that buddie will become canon eventually.

and ngl I find it kinda frustrating how little faith some of you have in the writing of the show when this season proved more than anything that they are finally back on focusing on the characters and actually have ideas about where to take them instead of having every single one of them running around in circles.

sure, some of the storylines are more than bonkers, but this is 911 and that trend started in season 1, so if you don't like that, then maybe this isn't the show for you. because this season with all the insanity and heartbreak was and is so far, quintessential 911.

both Buck and Eddie are well established, complex characters and they deserve to be taken on a narrative journey separately and together if buddie should happen. yeah, clearly neither character is in a place right now, but what's the rush?

we have at least one more full season ahead of us, that could be more than enough time to take them there.

and I know that anytime I say this there are at least ten people in the notes saying that we had 6 years of lead-up, so it wouldn't be rushed, but I can't help but disagree.

Eddie still has no idea how to be in a relationship and actually be in it. yeah, sure, he and Buck have been playing house for years, but the fact that neither of them seem to recognise that is a big issue on its own. and Buck, for the first time since Abby, is in a good place romantically. like the ship or not, it's canon that he's more content and happy than ever and everyone around him thinks so too.

now, we don't know how long this relationship will last and if/when it'll end and why. but if Buck got the chance to discover this part of himself without trauma and significant pain, with the people around him being supportive and patient, then I don't want Eddie thrown in there with a halfhearted realisation-to-kiss-or-confession within one episode either.

I have trust that if buddie is about to happen, it'll be handled well and in no way, shape or form would it be a consolation prize — especially because Tim is no longer bending over for the bullying of the fans and just goes by his own rules and only gives as much as he wants to. as he should.

honestly, this whole "gimme and gimme now" attitude is so stupid. and frankly, the notion that a popular queer ship would actually have a real chance to go canon has just relatively recently became a thing and now so many people almost feel entitled to it, which then spoils their experience with what's actually going on as a whole.

if your enjoyment of the show is solely dependent on a ship becoming canon? then maybe watch something else, because you're just setting yourself up for heartache, one way or another.

[aydaptic]

Hey,

I know that might be a bit weird but I just wanted to say how much I appreciate you and your work. Your writing style is so good and the webcomic and your art progress is so cool. Your work is like one of my safe places, whenever I'm feeling down I go read it.

Just wanted to say that and I hope you know how much you are appreciated. Sending so much love to you.

Hi there 😘

Not weird at all. I appreciate the kind words -- way more than you think -- and I legit mean that. As sad as it might sound, my Alive series in general (and engaging with its readers) has pretty much been my main source of happiness ever since I started the journey way back in 2018.

I'm ecstatic that my works are a safe space for you. Blessed that there are ppl out there (at all) who enjoy what I do when I'm so disconnected from the fandom. Hearing others look forward to updates, leave comments, DM me, give me fanart, support me financially in any small amount, overall just talk about my works with friends/me and/or publicly, etc. means the world to me.

Contrary to popular belief (when it comes to ppl who know I exist,) I'm a less-known creator. The popularity of A&E (WebComic | Fanfic) is happenstance. I know ppl are afraid to DM me bc they think I don't have time for them -- they believe that I get dozens of DMs every day when I'm lucky to get a single one in a year -- and it's very sad. I love to talk to my readers about my works being why I reply to every single comment. Many of them in detail. The number of times I've gotten a "holy PHCK I had no idea you would reply" is heartbreaking, ngl. That said... I'm not blind to the fact of how fortunate I am that ppl are engaging with my work at all.

Much love to you as well for this lovely message!

[parad-ice-lostandfound]

Things that come in my head as I play through Diasomnia's chapter (chp 38-55):

[Potential spoilers below darlings, proceed with caution!]

Am I ready for this? Hell no. Do I know I will regret everything? Yes. Am I still gonna try to finish everything in one day? Yep. Let's go!

Ortho??? Calling from RSA??? Is this Idia's dream? Malleus?! Cute to see him taking care of Drago but like the tiny details showing that its actually a dream? And Idia's catching on! Slowly but hey, progress is still progress! It's also nice to see how things could be different if og Ortho was still around.

Where are we? Why are there terrifying ghost like things on the windows? Is this Ramshackle dorm before it became, well, Ramshackle as we know it now? I am so confused now lol– Wait we're in Mickey's room?! How'd we get on the other side of the mirror? We're all having an out of body experience... I dunno how to feel about that tbh.

Silver! My baby's here! And we get to see his UM!

Have I ever told you guys how much I like Malleus' humming? Cause I like it very much. But anyways... we're in cyberspace now...? Oh Ortho! Ortho's awake! Poor baby's trying so hard to wake up his brother.

It's kinda scary seeing how powerful Malleus is. Like, to the point where he can force even Styx issued gear into shut down mode, he's seriously overpowered. Can't wait to see Idia continue the trend and become the hero in this tale, but there's a lot of heart ache we need to go through before we reach that point so, best of luck to all our poor hearts.

I wonder if there's any particular significance to the fact that the time is stopped at 9:18.

So we finally meet Idia's dad, huh? His helmet reminds me of Hades' Helm of Darkness. And we meet his mom as well. A lot of technical stuff and lore drop that went a bit over my head, but it's fine! We'll be fine!

Seems like eccentricity is the middle name of the Shroud family. Then again all geniuses are a bit eccentric. Poor idia, his mom definitely snooped through password protected folders. I would riot if my parents ever snooped through my laptop, so I can't wait for him to wake up and proceed to lose his shit over it lmao

Ortho's Cerberos gear and the two support droids are so cool! The little family moment is cute, but I hope this isn't a death flag for poor Ortho because I've seen too much of that trope– Now we're back with the Prefect! Ngl, Silver's kinda hot when he orders us around.

Dreams are a very tricky subject, so I don't blame Silver for not knowing much about how his UM works. That being said, I'm ready to learn a little more about Sebek, now that we're in his dream. I'm not his biggest fan atm, but... let's see. I'm hoping my perspective on him changes because he seems like a fun character to explore.

.... Something about the way he calls us human just pisses me off lmao. But we will be keeping an open mind. I will come to love you Sebek (yes it is a threat)

I feel terrible for Silver. Imagine looking at people you've known your entire life, two of them people you look up to and one you've trained alongside, and seeing strangers. Strangers who live in a fairy tale, who want you to join them and live happily ever after, sacrificing your freedom and responsibilities of the real world for an ideal ending. Who wouldn't want to take that chance? Making the choice to go against them, for their own good, is the most difficult thing to do in this situation. Raising your weapon against the one you trained your whole life to protect, fighting against someone who was once your comrade-in-arms.... it's terribly heartbreaking. But, hey, at least we got Sebek to wake up.

EHY IS MALLEUS SO FUCKING OP DIFVDHDGDJSVDVDJD B DHFDUSJDHS?!?!?!?!?

We... we're in Lilia's dream now.... brb, gotta get some tissues and get ready for emotional damage–

It's nice to see Silver taking the lead and being the dependable one. Also, General Lilia!! Been waiting for him since I got spoilers back when I was stuck in Ignihyde's book. I love how his hair transitions from being long and having red streaks to short and cute with pink streaks. Long hair is often associated, at least in my culture, with maturity and a sense of responsibility, while short hair is more fun and child-like. Similarly, red is an intense colour, while pink could technically be seen as a softer, gentler cousin to it. It shows Lilia's change from a warrior to caregiver and I think it's really neat. I just wish he could have seen him in a more adult-like form in the past.

[jazzmckay]

davg day 7.5 and 8:

couldn't resist progressing the story last night but went to bed right after, cause i was up way too late again, oop

weisshaupt was inteeeense. i love "all hands on deck" missions. its so exciting to have the full team around even if they arent in my main squad :> i got some good group shots!!

squad

one of the most kickass visuals. one of those moments that really drives home how god-like the evanuris are. and "how is lucanis supposed to stab a CLOUD?!" comment was hilarious.

squad!! this kind of shot always gets me ngl. ever since the walking dead episode where they take refuge in a barn during a storm and then a horde starts beating at the door and they spent an entire part of the night all holding that fucking barn door closed together until the storm passes, the sun rises, and the zombies wander off. its such a display of "team vs the world, every single one of them is needed and they prevail together" ;w;

little mila, the blacksmiths daughter, was a real champion too. love her. honourary part of the team during this section, absolutely.

loved all the little mentions of past events in this area! naturally i was most hyped about seeing the message from aura about kristoff but it was all so cool.

davrin how dare you T_T im definitely having some feelings about how completely nonchalant he was about dying here. the way what happens to a warden who slays the archdemon didnt come up until we were ALREADY THERE.... davrin you didnt think to WARN us? he is way too okay with death, especially his own. shaking him. i respect how seriously he takes his duty, but i am so concerned for him lmao

i'd knocked the first warden out so this was the moment he reappeared.

smh naive until the end. its so tragic that he thought it would actually end here. even if he'd actually finished the archdemon, that was simply not going to happen.

the ensuing boss fight was cool :> and lucanis looked badass as hell when he took his shot at ghilly, even if he didn't kill her. such a good moment

ever since then, the game has been SO focused on companions and i'm very into it. catching up / checking in with everyone, getting all their personal missions going etc. i jumped straight into neve's because i was eager to see how good my chances were for romance.

things were looking good :>

as you can see, rook's hair is a little longer, and she's going without face paint at all for a bit. sort of in a phase of keeping her heavier feelings to herself (or perhaps trying to ignore them lol)

then i did bellara's quest and oh my god the forgotten one!!! literally there!!!! i am looking. that was pretty heartbreaking tho, i feel so bad for bellara. i had a feeling her brother was coming back though, there have been too many notes around that were signed with just "-C". big sus! seems im at the part of the game where everyone experiences the horrors! and i'm here for it actually.

i did get a romance scene with neve and it was very heartfelt and cute <3 so i think i'm actually pulling it off! my relationship level with her is halfway into 7 i think. doing ALL dock town missions with her in my party is probably helping a lot.

every single interaction between the companions is still making me so happy, theyre so frequent that i can't possibly screenshot them all, i just! love!! every single dynamic!!!! like even davrin and lucanis who don't get along well... lucanis still suggested i prioritize checking in with davrin after weisshaupt because he seemed shaken. them T_T <3 this is so risky for a multishipper because you could honestly give me any fucking pair between the entire team and i'd be down for it lmao too many ships!!!

[suntails]

😭😭😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭🤣😭😞😂

It's my mood looking at your posts

it's so good,,, the way you draw silver and lilia. Their tumultuous relationship of denial of lilia's love of silver at first and acceptance of it later

Then you add MALLEUS!!! RAHH MY BROTHER TON TON 📢📢 he who has been loveless since a wee babe but then Lilia RAHH RAHH GAHH

And then sebek and it's 💔💔💔 shatter, break, broken

I'm just wondering how the mc and grim would feel

Like y'all be listening to the most heartbreaking shit and like,,, no hug? You no kiss the boy?

Anyway :) uhm I rlly like your art it makes me scream Abt silver it's crazy

AAA I MISSED THIS!!!

FGHBJD THANK U!!!!! silver and lilia rly get me ougghh it hurts, theyre so wonderful they LOVE each other and the way silver doubts it,,,,, AUGHHH MY HEART!!!

malleus i put him in my pocket. i love the tension and angst potential im so unbelievably excited to see as book 7 progresses and we get to start seeing his POV on everything, like OUGH its gonna be tasty

SEBEK. SEBKE. cannot understand how ppl couldnt love him by now, his story STINGS and the way his attitude has been shaped by his grandfather, on paper? fine cool whatever. but with the context we have NOW? after seeing lilia pelted w rocks by humans, after watching humans kill the princess of the kingdom, the hardships fae faced no it makes SENSE why this attitude has been carried forwards, even if its not right to hold onto against ppl of modern time. it adds a sense of realness and understanding to him that i love, and im happy to see him growing and learning

ngl to me, yuu is a walking camera and i kinda forget theyre technically a character GHFJJFK but if i were there id be giving them a colossal hug

ty very very much!!!! :D spins u in a circle <3

[doodle-pops]

hiii mina!!! i wanted to ask you smth 🤔🤔🤔 do u know the au of an immortal character a x mortal character b?? what if it was like that between a human reader x elf, but it has an angsty twist where the elf is irrevocably in love w their human 😞 but reader is adamantly against it, saying that it would never work out between a human and an elf!!!!! customs are too different, many would be against it, not to mention: humans die out. when it comes to elven traditions their love is binding, so what if one or both start regretting their relationship and now they’re stuck in this loveless relationship!? there’s so much that can go wrong, the reader isn’t hesitating to say that their elf is being too hasty with their proclamations of love and they should be more realistic. they would never work out!!!! (there also could be implications that human reader might also be in denial of their love because they just wanna play it safe. also i saw from other previous anon asks that there’s been some talks about mgime au’s, maybe this trope can be applicable in that au!!)

how do you think the characters of ME (either in silm or lotr) will react? heartbreak, anger, grief, or just acceptance?

thinking about it, i believe most characters might be accepting but there’ll def be some kind of malingering awkwardness within their relationship thereafter. like, omg!! i just confessed to my crush and they rejected me HARDCORE 💀💀 #cringe 😞 but they said we could still be friends but it’s soooo embarrassing 😳

a few might react a bit in denial and anger i’m ngl, but nothing too crazy. they’ll probably try to reason with reader and say that they’re the ones being hasty and irrational. their elf might say something along the lines of: « you don’t know that! » as they simultaneously counter argue everything their human brings up. but soon after it progresses into outright frustrations, kinda like « pls just giveeee me a chanceeee » type of vibe. def not going down without some kind of fight. and then. when they hit a dead end, they’ll fizzle out into this murky silent treatment period. you know that scene from pride and prejudice (2001) where mr. darcy balled his fists when he saw elizabeth and there’s this yearning look in his eyes whilst he quietly brews??? yeah. but a bit or regret in the elf’s part, yet also heavy pining regardless.

i think there’s also some who would just. pretend that never happened and force themselves to completely forget about that whole ordeal. heck maybe, in severe cases, just never talk to reader after that rejection.

This entire asks screams ANGST. Like the entire time I was rooting for reader to wake up and have some taste, but sadly they remain uncultured. Like you're getting someone who will remain loyal to the ends of the earth and would die on a hill for you, and you said, "I rather us be friends." #cringe #friendzoneforlife #lifeisnotokay #friendzoneintothenextlife

I would gladly shake reader to get some sense. Whatever silly insecurities they have, OUTSIDE with it. None of that in the house of these elves. Ugghh, I'm angering myself over reader's idiocy when all they're doing is hurting the elves 😒

I'm all for the elves agreeing to drop all their efforts and stop pursuing reader, but then you have the troupe where reader SUDDENLY gets a change of heart and comes running back. "Oh, I remember I always loved you. Will you love me in return?" That's clown behaviour, stop it🤚get some help. You're not from a circus, behave like people 🤡

A/N: I originally answered this ask with another gif and it messed up everything I wrote. The entire post didn't upload 🙂. I want to fight tumblr now. I can't even remember what I wrote 🙂

[thehighpriestess1]

Priestess AHAHHA babes your fics are love i swear, the way you make me ride a rollercoaster through your writing 😭🥺

I remember reading sdf and oh boy oh boy...i was praying every chapter like i don't even know what I was praying for !!

Sdf was really awesome...the gojo that makes me wanna punch him but also love him alot... priestess they were college sweethearts and you really made them go thro 💔

But bless you for the way there relationship progressed!! Ik sttuborn gojo who wanted to stay with us was annoying but ngl i was crying happy tears and was totally rooting for him and us as endgame...the miscarriage broke me tho, i seriously have to sit for 5 min to take in what just happened!!

And the trauma we had and all was really heartbreaking but the way you wrote a protective Satoru makes my heart 💞💞

The proposal, the family, the baby Alice were all soooo cute 🥺 Also I'm loving the small fics you write related to sdf...i wonder hows the interaction between gojo's and nanami's would be 🤭

Also shoko and geto were soo cute...i was oh so much rooting for them!! I still believe that the only smartasses from sdf were toji and geto...cause they really saved our ass thro this 🩷🩷

Onto August

Aahhh ok the possessive gojo is soo 🫦

I SWEAR I'll write an essay on it so I'll just say how wonderful it was...the jeolousy, feral gojo and all but my baby's gojo trauma priestess 😭😭 do u know how bad i wanted to hug him like... squeeze him 😭

And now we're back and he's all soo happy with the baby....

THE BABYYYY AAHJHH I SWEAR KEISUKE IS SOKBBBBBB 🐥🥺💞💕

Also i don't know what's gonna happen next but just know, your writing is awesome awesome awesome...i love you sooooo much for giving us sdf and august 🥺💖

Sorry for the long ass essay lol...i can't hold back complementing something i like sooo much not to mention to deserve it ❤️

SDF was my first long fic and it'll always have a special place in my heart. I cried writing so many scenes for that one 😂

Interaction between Gojo and Nanamin SDF will be VERY tensed. But both of them will keep their behaviour in check for y/n. Gojo will probably pout a lot afterwards and get super clingy but that's Gojo.

Give me all your August or SDF or any essays! I will read it then I will giggle and then I will read it again!!!!

You are going to pray for Gojo so hard in the next part but also get so mad at him OMG I can't wait to finish it and see how you react!! 🫣🫣

Thank you for reading my work and appreciating it. It keeps me going 💖💖💖

[jils-things]

haii :D out of curiousity if irene was a canon survivor what other skins would she have? which of the survivors (or even hunters if she has a connection to them) would she match with? O:

HELLO!!!! EEEEEE IDV QUESTIONS MY BELOVED YEYSYEYWES TY FOR COMING 💚💚💚💚 im gonna answer the lore related question first and then answer the skin question behind readmore (its very long. i like Talking.)

OKAAAAY so so ngl... i actually thought that having nort.on, irene, na.ib and emma in one manor game group is really plausible cuz they're part of my fo list (and are very much included in lore) but omg i cant handle the heartbreak naur i don't wANT THEM TO FIGHT AJWKWKENDJSJSKS🥹🥹🥹 TO BE HONEST... i can kinda see her being associated with the da ca.po group (nor.ton, me.lly, orp.heus, alice and frederick) because irene actually is connected to nor.ton and orp.heus (she does not like him). and i think the drama would be so fuckin insane here lets be real

in that same train of thought - i think that would mean she would also have to fare off against foo.ls gold and nightmare (MORE DRAMA) and that is gonna be so fucking sick . also they look like this to me i don't care (ignore the ship mention wkwkwkwkwkw) LMFAOOAOWUSHRK

ok so, irene's skins are meant to match with nort.ons skins and like 90% of my artwork consists of just them in those costumes tbh HAHAHA BUT ID BE HAPPY TO SHOWCASE THEM HERE EEEE

so i don't really care about her skins being classified as a tier, b tier etc etc, dont matter as long as shes matchy matchy with him HEHEHE

let's go off with my most recent art of it:

1) this is eidolon! she is paired with soul catcher. she's a half alive (undead?) and half dead (ghost). she appears alive in the daylight and appears dead in the nighttime :3 the drawing in the middle is my best depiction of both mixed!

2) I don't have a name for this (help me /hj), but this is meant to pair with his troubadour skin! this to me is their peak of "good life" era :3 (together and married)

3) again i dont have a good name for this either EKWKEKEKEJ but this one's meant for an alternative universe called the constantine siblings au where irene and naib are adoptive siblings (and uses the spring hand skin) and she is also paired with mr. mole! (emma also appears here, in her boudoir dream skin)

4) this one's a current work in progress but this one's meant for ronal.d of nice! ive currently settled on calling her "dame of gold", its not final but its a decent placeholder name :]

5) lastly, this one's definitely a c tier kinda skin and its meant to match his cordierite skin. fun fact, this color scheme of hers was actually her original color palette but i changed it to green and made this an alt skin~ i named it royal blue!

and that's it! i plan to do more in the future (like black tulip, cornerstone and maybe some outfits based off merchandise hehe)

BUT YE!!! THIS TOOK AWHILE TO ANSWER BUT I REALLY APPRECIATE THE CURIOSITY AHHH 💚💚💚💚

[chilling-seavey]

This is actually beautiful I'm ngl. Such an effective writing style tied into this plot; it really pulled me into the storyline and 😮‍💨

Also the addition of the text screenshots was so effective and made it feel all the more real (and kinda heartbreaking?? like wtf my heart literally sank when I read them)

So, so, so curious how this will progress!!

summary: you sleep with the driver you’ve had a crush on for forever, should you have done it though?

notes: so this was originally a one shot request, but i think i may have gotten carried away with it. this is going to be a series, i don’t know how long it’ll be, probably not as long as the pornstar series, but more than a few chapters.

wc: 2919

warnings: !! INCLUDES SMUT, MINORS DNI !! oral (both f and m receiving), p in v sex, getting sick, pregnancy

This is wrong.

You watch as he talks animatedly with Alex and Lando. The three of them giggle as they talk amongst themselves. You softly smile as George glances your way and gives you a small wave.

You clear your throat, brush off your nerves, and approach the group.

“Alex, James wants to see you and Logan in his office.” You tell the Williams driver when you’ve gathered his attention.

“See you guys later.” Alex says, throwing an arm over your shoulder, walking back towards the Williams area of the paddock.

“You know you can just talk to him, right?” Alex asks you.

You hum as you look up at him questioningly.

“George. You don’t just have to stare at him from afar, you can talk to him.”

You shake your head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

As the person hired to be James Vowels’ assistant, you had a close relationship with both Williams drivers. You could often be found spending time with the two of them while not working. And of course hanging around Alex meant hanging around his best friend, George Russell.

It was hard to explain George. He was british, of course, so very british. He was sweet. He had a tendency to make punny jokes. He was handsome. He often found himself being used as memes in the F1 world.

He was perfect, and he was completely 100% out of your league. Even if Alex tried to constantly push you to get closer to him.

You shouldn’t be doing this.

The club was loud, dimly lit, but at the same time flashing with bright strobe lights. You swirl your drink in your glass. You didn’t want to be here, you’d rather be back in your hotel room, sleeping, or packing for the flight home tomorrow.

Alex stumbles over to you, Lily on his arm, clearly trying to keep him standing up.

“Why are you alone? Go talk to someone!” He shouts far too loud.

“I think I’m good right here, thanks.” You tell him.

“Boring.” He sticks his tongue out.

“I think it’s time to get you home. Or at least get some water and food in your system.” Lily says. “See you tomorrow?” She asks you.

You nod, then watch her walk off with Alex stumbling after her. You shake your head and take a sip of your drink.

“He’s going to be a mess tomorrow.” A voice says next to you. You recognize it immediately.

You turn to see George standing next to you, leaning against the bar, a drink of his own in his hand. His hair flops down in his face a little. His eyes seem to sparkle in the club lights.

“Poor Lily.” You say, tearing your gaze away from him.

“Poor Lily? I’m gonna be the one he complains about it to.” George laughs.

“Maybe you should just get drunk too.”

“You want to get me drunk?” George smirks looking down at you.

“No, I didn’t mean-” you stutter.

George bumps his arm against yours. “I’m kidding.”

You give an awkward laugh looking back down at your drink. “You did really well this weekend.” You tell him before drinking some more, hoping to get some liquid courage in your system.

“Thanks.” He smiles. “You guys were great too.”

“Oh, I have nothing to do with anything that happens on track.” You shake your head.

“Really? Toto runs his assistant like a madman.”

You laugh and shake your head. “No, James gives me tasks that help the team, sure, but never anything big enough to impact the races.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” George says, taking a drink of his beer.

The two of you chat for the rest of the evening about the season, about Alex, about his career so far and yours. He brushes off anyone who tries to get his attention while he’s with you, opting to stay practically glued to your side.

Don’t let this keep going.

You share a taxi back to your hotel. You’re pressed up against his side as he tells you a story about something to do with Alex. You can’t really remember what it’s about specifically, you’re too enamored with the way the lights of the city flash over his eyes.

You laugh when he gets out of the car, his long legs making it a challenge after being cramped in the backseat. You’re still giggling when he holds a hand out for you to take to help you step out of the car. You think you can see a faint blush on his cheeks.

He walks you up to your room, keeping a hand on the small of your back the whole way there. You dig in your pocket for your key, looking up at him when you find it.

Don’t do it.

The hallway feels smaller than it did this morning, like there’s no room between you and George. You can smell his cologne and a little bit of the alcohol he was drinking in the club.

His eyes glance down at your lips, then back up to your eyes, as if he’s having his own internal battle in his head.

From there on it’s foggy. You don’t know who made the first move, maybe it was you, maybe it was him, or maybe you were both just too desperate for one another you couldn’t hold yourselves back.

You need to stop this.

His hands grip onto your hips as yours hold onto his face. Your body is pressed between his and the door. You fumble with your room key, pressing it into the lock, then blindly searching for the door handle with your hand.

George takes over, swiftly opening the door, pushing you inside, then closing it behind him.

A trail of clothing is left between the door and your bed. Your kisses become sloppier and hungrier. Your hands bury themselves in his golden hair, tugging at the soft strands.

This is a bad idea.

His touch becomes softer when he’s got you on your bed. His touches turn gentle as he caresses you, and kisses your exposed skin. His eyes look up to yours often, silently asking if you're okay, if he’s doing what you want him to do.

He spends a while between your legs, making you fall apart on his mouth. His eyes look up at you, hazy, as if he’s letting himself drown in you. He groans when you squeeze your legs around his head and tug on his hair.

You pull him back up to you so you can kiss him again. You can taste yourself on his lips.

You flip him over and crawl down to do the same with him. He reaches out, and stops you with a hand to your chin, making you look up at him.

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” You nod.

George swears he’s died and gone to heaven when he feels your lips on him. He throws his head out and lets out a soft moan. His hands twitch at his sides, searching for something to hold onto.

You take his hands and guide them to your hair, giving him control. He looks down at you, and nearly finishes at the sight alone. His cock is in your mouth as you look up at him, your eyes somehow innocently staring into his.

You take him down your throat, using your hands to pump what you can’t fit in your mouth.

He pulls you up off his cock when he feels himself getting close, desperate to cum inside you rather than in your mouth. He rolls you back over, his body on top of yours while he kisses you again.

“Condom?” He pants against you.

You reach over to the drawer by your bed and pull out a condom, holding it out to him.

He tears it open and rolls it on, then looks back down at you, still laying under him.

“Are you sure you want-”

This won’t end well.

“I need you George.” You cut him off.

He tries to be careful with you, pushing into you slowly and gently, taking his time to stretch you out around him. His control slips away from him quickly though, when you wrap your legs around his waist, pushing him deeper inside you. He lets out a deep groan when he feels you clench around him, his head dropping down to your shoulder.

“I’m not gonna last.” He practically whimpers in your ear.

“Fuck me George.” You roll your hips up against his.

He does, lifting himself up off of you enough to pull out nearly all the way, then slam his hips back against yours. His hair falls in his face as a look of determination spreads over his face.

It’s impossibly warm, laying under him. You feel like you’re drowning in him, but you’re desperate to keep him close to you.

He reaches down to play with your clit when his pace begins to falter, a clear sign that he’s almost there. He needs you to cum first, so he holds his own orgasm back. He lets go when you cry out his name, pushing your hips up against his. His thrusts die down, becoming slower as you both ride out your orgasms.

He pulls out of you, out of breath. He pulls the condom off, tying it, then walks to the bathroom to throw it away. He silently comes back to the bed and lays next to you.

You don’t know where to go from here. Should you talk about what just happened? George makes the decision for you, pulling you into his arms. You lay against him quietly, listening to his heartbeat. His breathing evens out and soon you can hear him softly snoring.

You let yourself fall asleep in his arms, deciding to figure things out in the morning.

You shouldn’t have done this.

You wake up in an empty bed. The sheets are cold even with the sun streaming in through the window. You sit up and see some clothes on the floor, all of them yours, George’s gone.

You grab your phone and unlock it, hoping to see something, but there’s nothing from him. You only have one text from Lily, telling you that she and Alex made it back to the hotel alright.

You ignore the uncomfortable feeling that’s settled in your stomach and get up to shower and get dressed. You wear comfortable clothes, something that won’t bother you on the plane ride back home.

You check your phone throughout the day, waiting to see a text from George. Your phone remains in your hand at the hotel, on the plane ride home, even back at Williams HQ.

You cave that evening, sending George a brief text after you’ve gotten home. He responds within a few minutes, and it makes you feel even worse.

It was a mistake.

You don’t realize you’re crying until you see the teardrops that land on your phone’s screen. You quickly type out an answer before tossing your phone away to the other end of your couch.

You’re sure you weren’t drunk, and you’re almost certain he wasn’t either. You’d only seen him with one drink, but maybe he’d already had more earlier? But he seemed so casual and put together the entire time you were with each other.

You leave your phone in your living room that night. You can’t bear the thought of picking it back up to see any messages from him. You figure you should feel better after a good night’s sleep, you should have a clearer head.

The next day doesn’t bring any clarity however, instead you spend the day in what seems like a fog. Your body is working on autopilot as you accompany James to the factory.

You notice your apparent discomfort when he asks if you’re alright. You plaster a smile on your face and give him a brief nod, blaming your mood on jetlag.

You bury yourself in your work for the next week, putting all of your focus on helping James in whatever ways you can. You try to ignore social media while back at home, not wanting to have to think about George and be reminded of what happened.

You know seeing him again is inevitable when it’s time for the next race weekend. You fly out with James, opting to catch up on some sleep while on the plane.

You thought being back in the paddock would be difficult, having to avoid the Mercedes garage at all costs. However, you find yourself spending all of your time in the Williams garage. You remain at James’ side as much as you can, save for the couple of times you’ve had to go to the restroom.

You figured the bad feelings in your stomach were simply nerves, but after a trip to the bathroom hunched over the toilet you assumed it was the food you had eaten on the plane.

You watch the race with Lily, sitting side by side with headphones over your ears. Usually you enjoy this part of race weekends, where you get to sit back and watch all the work the team has done come together. It’s quite hard to enjoy the race though when you’re excusing yourself to go to the restroom for a third time within an hour and a half.

“Are you alright?” Lily asks, her concern clear on her face.

You nod and shrug. “I think I have a stomach bug. I probably ate some bad food or something.”

She gives you an unconvinced nod then focuses her attention back on the race.

Logan and Alex finish in the midfield, which was expected. Lily leaves you to see her boyfriend while you join James again to go over the debriefing schedule.

Alex and Lily invite you to fly with them to the next circuit for the upcoming race. You accept, thanking them, grateful that you’ll have a little bit of time to rest during the double header.

The flight is filled with more trips to the bathroom, each of which has the couple’s concern growing.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Alex asks, offering you some water.

You nod, taking small sips from the bottle. “It’s just a stomach bug.”

“You’ve been sick for almost a week now, stomach bugs only last a couple of days Y/n…” Lily says. “Are you sure it’s not something else?”

“What would it be?”

Lily glances at Alex and takes a deep breath before she asks. “You’ve been sick for a while now, and it seems like you’re constantly tired… Is it possible you’re pregnant?”

You feel the blood drain from your face. “No, no, I can’t be pregnant.”

“Y/n-”

“No, I can’t. It’s not possible.” You shake your head. You feel like you’re going to be sick yet again.

“Have you been with anyone recently?” Alex asks you.

There’s only been the one person as of late. You can feel the tears begin to well up in your eyes. Your hand raises to cover your mouth, trying to hold in the sobs you know are coming.

Lily moves to sit next to you, gently placing a hand on your back. “It’s alright, we don’t know anything for sure. We’ll get you a test to take when we’re landed.”

You nod, trying to calm down the rapid beating of your heart.

You keep quiet for the rest of the plane ride, letting yourself drown in your thoughts all while Alex and Lily attempt to keep you distracted.

You stop at a small store before going to the hotel, you and Lily walk in alone, afraid Alex will draw too much unwanted attention.

“I don’t think you two have anything to worry about.” The cashier gives the two of you a weird look when you ask for the test that’s sitting behind the counter.

You roll your eyes and pay for the box, shoving it in your bag and walking back to the car with Lily trailing behind you.

The three of you gather together in your room, all staring at the box in your hands.

“It’ll be okay.” Lily gives you a small smile.

“We’re here for you, no matter the result.” Alex nods.

The two of them sit on your bed while you go to the bathroom to use the test. You set a timer on your phone, leaving the test on the counter.

You sigh as you leave the bathroom. Your tears have finally dried, you wouldn’t be surprised if you had no more left in your system.

You wait silently for the test to finish. Your phone beeps after what seems like an eternity. You look at the couple sitting on your bed and close your eyes.

“It was George.” You say, your voice a little rough from your crying on the plane.

“George?” Alex asks.

“Russell.” You tell him. “It was George Russell. We slept together a few weeks ago. It was only a one night stand, but we used a condom, I didn’t think this would happen.” Your voice cracks as you finish speaking.

“Do you want me to look for you?” Lily asks.

“No, I can do it.” You wipe the tears that have started to fall again and take a deep breath.

You walk back into the bathroom and look down at the test. You turn to see Alex and Lily both standing in the doorway.

“I’m pregnant.”

[5tar9litter]

All of these problems I am dealing with.

The trauma I am curr trying to forget.

I know I am living it every single second. Sometimes I want it to disappear so I can just be free again. Never having to stress about him ever again. Everytime I was on my way to recovery, he came back and restarted my progress somehow.

I blocked his number. He created a fake phone number using google voice and thought he could just get me back? Just like that? By telling me, “What’s up? How pissed off r u rn? it’s me btw.” Bro that was stupid. All the anger and resentment, the sadness and heartbreak that I thought I got rid of was coming back like a bullet train at full speed. I start hyperventilating. Seeing his calls erupt my phone like crazy.

I snapped out of it. “God’s testing me to see if I’m still stupid.” I had the encourage to block him even though I missed him.

In the next 2 weeks, I recieved another message on instagram from HIM.

HE FUCKING FOUND MY INSTA.

After not being able to sleep that night and having a conversation finally after 3 months.

I learned it was his internet whatever shit and he couldn’t “recieve my messages”

Absolute bullshit.

He told me kind words. I missed you so much. I want you so bad. Please come back.

But I was spiraling. I didn’t want this. I don’t want this. I cried and went insane because of this man. I don’t want this anymore and I don’t wanna go back! Please god! Help! Help!

Finally after 4 days of literally spiraling and just losing my mind, I blocked him on all forms of communication and privated my account.

It’s been a month, it’s like I’m experiencing PTSD Again.

This happened many times though ngl.

One time, my family’s car got hit by a truck while my mom was driving us home from work. The last thing I saw was a bright red truck coming towards my side of the door. Before it hit us, I held onto any handle I could for embrace. BAM! Me and my family were spinning on the road.

We came out okay. My mom was bruised up on the legs though and my brother ended up getting a headache from smacking his head against the window. I was traumatized for a year I believe. Every red truck, I was terrified of them.

But then I got over them.

This happened with Jayden’s mom.

9 months.

The day the house caught on fire and I heard my dad scream in fear for the first time?

7 months.

The day when I heard my unknown uncle got ran over and turns out he was a horrible person so nobody picked up his dead body in the hospital?

6 months.

The khoi situation?

Prob never really. I just forgave but I don’t think I’ll ever forget him. It’s been what? A year? But I don’t have any bad feelings. Maybe a little. But sincerely you just stop caring as much.

It may be the same.

But just like the Aidan situation. You’ll always find someone better than the last. So don’t settle into thinking he will be the only one who you’ll love. Because a couple months after that, I was the most happiest woman in the world.

[ca11istee]

V: Never givin’ me that look before, Vik. What is it?

Viktor: You, uh, don’t got a lot of time left, kid.

V: Say what now?

Viktor: The biochip... it’s basically a bomb, fuse lit already.

[saprophetic]

.