#this probably makes no sense but it made sense in my brain and thats all that matters

[samalicous]

Tell me if I'm not making sense here but I feel like there are some pretty neat Ford and Random parallels. Like Ford's dad being the only one to escape his home planet exploding and having Ford on a different planet in that system and then Random having Arthur and Trillian's home planet explode and they had her out in space.

Or maybe I'm just trying to make excuses bc I think Ford mentoring Random would be cute. Her whole deal is she really wants to connect with somewhere and find a place in the universe right? Imagine if instead of a concrete 'home' she takes up hitchhiking?? awwe right??

And imagine it's Ford who gives her the idea kind of like when any teenager in a coming of age movie gets recommended something by a older mentor figure who's like 'I was just like u when I was younger" ykwim? Also would be hilarious for Arthur to realize his spawn is gonna be like Ford 2.0 and he's just gonna have to deal with that.

[tojisth3rdwife]

“Bout time you answered the damn phone..”

You wrinkle your nose at the hint of attitude in Toji’s deep voice, finding it a little cute since you knew that just his personality.

With your phone tucked between your ear and shoulder, you continued working down the mountain of laundry in the basket on your living room floor.

“Uhm, rude?” you snort, tossing a freshly folded towel to join its appropriate pile before picking up another.

“What ever happened to ‘hello’ or ‘hey big booty’ ?”

“I reserve those types of greetings for girlfriends that pick up the first time I call.”

At that you roll your eyes, snatching up another towel.

“Girlfriends? So theres others?” you begin folding it. The faint sound of echoe’d music and a muffled voice requesting assistance in the frangrance department let you know Toji was out and about, more than likely at some convenience store.

The big nasty was probably restocking on condoms and that special brand of lube he used on you a while back. The one that resulted in you needing to change your bed sheets.

Twice.

“See, I could play your game and say there are others just to fuck with you....’xcuse me...” he pauses to say to an older woman he squeezed past in the aisle.

“...but you cant take a damn joke and I plan on getting some tonight.”

You pert your lips at the statement but dont argue. Even in the several months you and Toji became exclusive, it was true that his sense of humor surpassed yours when it came to him and other women. You werent nearly as possessive or jealous as he was (usually), but he knew better than to test it.

“Smart. Im glad you value your life. Talk to me nice.” you respond in the most brattish way, making your boyfriend chuckle dryly on the other end of the phone.

“Shut up. Anyway, what kind of soap do you use again? I vaguely remember what it looks like but theres 5 bottles that match what I see in my brain.”

“Soap? Like to wash my body?” you furrow your brow distractedly, continuing to fold clothes.

“Naw to wash your dog.” he tosses back sarcasticaly. If there was a camera crew in your house, you’d be glancing at them with a deadpanned look of annoyance.

You didnt have a dog.

“Would it be so hard just to answer a question? I swear I dont like you sometimes.” you mutter, flapping out the pair of pants you were about to fold and Toji’s smirk is as audidle as his snickering.

“But you love me all the time. Now stay focused. Soap. The kind you wash your ass with.”

You sigh in exasperation at the simple question. And it was for sure simple ,but as many times as Toji had been in your shower, sometimes with you, he should be able to know which damn soap you used.

Old ass..

“Dr.Bronner’s babe. Unscented..”

“The light blue one. See, I knew I remembered it.”

Toji snatches the largest bottle of pure castile soap from the shelves. His massive hand grasps it effortlessly as he made his way to another aisle, squinting at a display of electric shavers curiously.

“Well alright. Thats all I wanted. Carry on cheating or whatever you doing..”

You let out a loud breath, tossing the pair of pants aside.

“Why are you like this? That’s not funny, you know?”

“What?” Toji strolls leisurely down the shave aisle now, eyeing the array of products.

“You saying shit like that. Accusing me of cheating every time I don’t pick up or text back fast. Its irritating..” you huff, aggressively flapping out another pair of sweats that you immediately knew belonged to Toji.

“Is it?”

“Is it?” You mock him, balling up his oversized joggers scornfully and throwing them on the floor. God he was annoying. If he werent so fine, and tall, and big..

And fit.

And sexy.

And intimidating.

And..

What were we talking about?

A breathy chuckle vibrates against your ear, as well as the echoing *beep* of the cashiers growing louder, both yanking you off your tangent.

“Aww, mama. Don’t be like that. I only say it as a joke. I know you’d never cheat on me ‘cuz my dick’s too big.” Toji remarks all too casually, not even acknowledging the way an old man shoots him a disgustingly surprised look at his crudeness out loud as he walked past him.

You snort in amusement and shake your head.

“True. But don’t be so sure. Theres plenty of trees in the forest.” You remark cheekily, glad that you weren’t in front of him after saying that. Part of you wished you were though. Watching those pretty beady eyes of his shrink with his glare was equal parts scary and arousing. To your surprise, Toji finds your rebuttal funny enough to laugh.

“You must really want me to fold your ass like a futon, huh? Just wait, I’ll be by there later.”

Toji turns to get in line at a check out lane. A little girl standing with her mother behind him stares up at his back with wide eyes, probably never seeing a man of his size and stature. Ya boy was scraping at 6’3 barefoot, so in shoes he was surely around 6’4. Even you would find yourself gaping up at him when he stood in front of you.

“Yeah? What you gon do?

*beep*

Toji shuffles forward, the scarred corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk.

“Fold you like a futon. Duh. You want candy?” He quickly changes the subject distractedly, falling victim to the mini wall of chocolate bars and gum.

The threat makes your core flutter while his subtle way of always keeping you in mind had you biting down on your grin as you continued folding laundry.

“Nooo, Baby. I don’t want candy. Thank you though.” You giggle, rolling your eyes.

“Well dont ask for some of mine ‘cuz I aint sharing..” Toji grumbles, still picking up two candy bars.

“Mmhmm.”

Having folded the final article of clothing and setting it aside, you sink back into the couch cushions with a huff, lifting your hand to untuck your phone and hold it against your ear.

“So wait, thats why you were blowing me up? Over soap?”

“Basically. I wanted you to have your own for when you stay with me. I know you have sensitive skin and shit…” he responds before reciprocating the cashiers greeting as he set his items on the belt.

“Awwww DaddyBear, how considerate of you. I wanna kiss you now, instead of slapping your face”

“Youre too easy to impress woman. Its just soap. You leave shit at my apartment anyway so I figured you’d wanna have something to shower with too.”

“I know but it’s still sweet. Come over now so I kiss on you and touch your butt.”

Toji snorts at your antics, knowing damn well he wasn’t letting your hands go anywhere near his ass.

“Yeah yeah. I gotta swing by Shui’s to pick up some money then Im gonna head your way.”

“Ok. But wait, you still could have just texted me that. Why call and make a fuss?”

“Damn. Maybe I also just like hearing your whiny ass voice y’know?”

You sigh, your giddiness fading immediately.

“Just hurry up and come over, ass.”

“See? Can never take a joke.”

“Bye Toji.”

“See you later Big Booty..”

<call ended>

[yllwjktscult]

New found feelings -Lottie Matthews x reader (pt 2)

!!disclaimer- english is NOT my native language so there for sure will be grammar mistakes!!

an anon asked for a part two and who am i to deny, hope you will enjoy it🫶🏻

in short: lottie and you have sex for the first after dating for months (also your first time ever) and it swirls new emotions you didnt thought you had (you little freak)

!! part one in here !!

WC: 2,7K (���)

TW: smut☝🏻😭 you bitches are SO horny goddamn it.. but so valid. ANYWAY its lowkey cute ig (just typical me shit sns i write sweet one shots things☝🏻🥹) also, its SUCH a shit, im not good at writing smuts, but i love a good challenge but still, god damnit.. but if i keep staring at it in my notes, i woulndt post it at all, because i start to overthinking it and starts to change/rewrite it to a point it makes no sense after that so enjoy cuz even tho i said im posting it on friday, im posting it randomly with 'ah fuck it' mindset or i woulndt at all, girl bye-

oh and btw, this is probably my last smut for a while, so hihihi 🫶🏻🥹

well anyway, enjoy🫶🏻

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Who would have thought that couple months ago your stupid mouth that was faster than your brain and a hickey would lead you into a relationship with Lottie. Yes you heard that right. With Lottie fucking Matthews. Your close friend, who you are happily dating for months now.

How did that happened? you have no fucking idea.

Actually its a bullshit, you know damn well and each time it makes your stomach do flips.

It happened few weeks after the hickey. Lottie was joking (she wasnt) she would show you how right kissing feels like, and your curious and confused ass wanted to know. You agreed because, HELL you were confused about your feeling for her at that time.

After Lottie kissed you, she admitted she liked you, well shit scratch that. She literally said she was in love with you. And you were happy to hear that. However you did tell her you are confused about your feelings at the moment and she was sweet and understandable about it. Couple weeks after that and more kissing practice, you realised you are in love with her too and thats how you ended dating eachtoher. Your friends (yellowjackets) were about to throw a party because it took you way too fucking long to a point they made bets when you two will start dating.

It was a sweet relationship and you wanted to cry each time you realised you are dating someone so sweet as Lottie. She wanted to hold hand all the time, was so kind and gentle with you, saying it will be in your own pace and had eyes only for you. Like you literally could see her giving you heart eyes it made you want to cry, noone looked at you with so much love as she did. It was almost as if puppy was looking at you with adoration and pure love. Literally a Lottie. She was the kindness soul and you couldnt be more happier that your first relationship was with someone as her. Yes, you did kissed a guy or two before at some party (you were little drunk and wanted to know what the hype is about) but you werent in a relationship yet. You wanted to, you were a hopeless romantic after all, but noone sparked that fire inside you that screamed 'they are worth to give them my all' well.. that was until Lottie, you wanted to give her everything. Like literally, you were so in love with her it physically hurted you.

However, you were still scared shittless. Scared you will fuck this up somehow, scared she will find someone else, someone better who isnt a ball of anxiety and needs time. You were so in love with her you were scared you will lose her over wrongly holding her hand (unknown to you, it was one of the many things why Lottie fell in love with you, in her eyes, you were so cute to her no matter what, it was your charm, how shy you acted with her since you started dating)

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

You felt Lottie rest on top of you completely as she deepened the kiss, her tongue licking your bottom lip, lowkey begging for you to open your mouth and you did.

Did you moan? well yes.. yes you did. Did she smirk at that reaction? fuck yes she did. And she loved it.

The kiss got heated after a while, you both breathing heavily, you both making sounds of enjoyment and the sound of kissing hitting your ears made you want to moan again with how good its making you feel in your whole body but mainly in your lower abdomen.

You were so lost into the kiss you didnt notice Lottie sneaking her hand under your shirt on your stomach, until the tips of her fingers peaked inside the waistband of your pants.

That woke you up and you grabbed her hand and stopped the kissing.

"W-what are you doing?" you stuttered it out, cheek flushed and looking deep into her eyes.

Lottie with her own reddish cheeks got embarrassed that she got too lost into the kiss she smiled shyly as she looked at you.

"S-sorry, i got carried away" she mumbles shyly and leaned down and kisses you again. But you are certarly not into is as you were before, your brain is stuck in the moments few seconds ago. You are conflicted. You want her to, but at the same time, you are scared shitless. What if you do something wrong during it? or what if you are horrible at it and she will break up with you?

"Stop it, you are overthinking again" Lottie mumbles against your lips.

"Did you really wanted to..?" you asked shyly and unsurely. You wanted to, like really really wanted to but at the same time you were scared. Terrified even.

Lottie goes quiet for a bit, her cheeks still flushed and bites her lip before she nods "But we dont have to okay?" she kissed your cheek after she smiled at you sweetly and started cuddling you instead.

You wont lie, you were glad, because you felt like your heart will burst out of your chest at the time.

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

For the next few days your brain was stuck in the moment, yes, exactly, the moment when Lotties fingers were peaking into your pants. Its was like a loop, and hell, the more days passed, the more you craved it.

So, thats whats happening now, you coulndnt take it anymore and when you got to Lotties house again and changed into her hoodie (she might once said you looked cute in her clothes and fuck it you loved wearing her clothes if we are being honest in here, they are so comfy, smells like her and they are warm and they are hers) you went to her and asked if she still wants you like that (actually you were way too straight forward, you literally asked her "Do you still want to have sex with me" and Lottie almost choked on her soda can when you said that, looking at you like a deer in headlights with her mouth hang open and cheeks flushed)

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

How it happened you dont know, but currently, you are once again in the same position you were days ago, you laying on your back in her bed and Lottie is on top of you with her knee in between your bare legs pressed flushed against you.

She kisses you more desperately than before, almost roughly yet still gentle, parting your lips immediately due to you opening your mouth in shock.

One of her hands that wasnt holding her weight above you went behind your neck, her fingers tangling in your hair and tugging gently to deepen the kiss even more. Lottie moans into your mouth as she bite your lip when she moves her hips against you. You could feel your heart speeding at that, like every single time Lottie makes a sound like this.

She kisses you like shes a starving woman in the dessert, her body flush against you, her fingers gripping your hair tightly yet still very gentle. Because thats Lottie, always gentle with you.

Lottie started to rock her hips against your thigh more now, in slow steady motion.

You couldnt help yourself and let a desperate moan out of your mouth at that. The feeling in your stomach grew warmer and you could feel yourself get wetter each grind and moan she made. You were certain Lottie could feel it on her knee thats between your legs, which made you whine even more at that thought in embarrassment.

Lotties hand, that was in your hair, started wandering lower, down to your chest, to your stomach right above the waistband of your underwear, exactly where you needed her the most.

"Are you sure?" Lottie asked, she wanted you to be sure you are ready for this, after all, its a big step for you and even tho she wont admit it, shes very nervous about it too. She loved you too much and would feel really bad if she felt like you are doing it only because she wanted to or because its expected from you.

"Y-yeah, im sure" You smiled at her and grabbed her hand that was resting above your hipbone and pushed it down your underwear, knowing that she would ask you few more times if you didnt do that.

When her fingers touched you, you moaned a little 'fuck' under your breath and closed your eyes. What you didnt see was how Lottie widened her eyes over how wet you actually were and how it turned into a slight smile right after that, because yeah, shes the reason you are so worked up and it stroke her ego a little bit, knowing your body reacts to her like that. It did made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. Beacuse clearly your body wants her as much as your soul does.

Her touch is both confident and teasing, her movements both gentle and demanding. She takes her time, savoring the way your body responds to her, the way your breathing hitches and your hips arch involuntarily at her touch.

You shivered and you have no idea what came over you but you just straight up told Lottie to take off your underwear, and with a soft chuckle she did it. She repositioned herself back to her previous position, which was straddling one of your thighs as she went back to kiss you as her hand went back in between your legs.

You feel her slender finger gently push into your entrance after a few seconds teasing your clit (AN-i HATE that word lord help me, but a bundle of joy would fry me up if i was a reader, ANYWAY back to the story-), slowly and gently. Making you close your eyes and leave an involuntary moan as you break the kiss and tittle your head backwards against the pillow whimpering a little fuck under your breath.. shit, is this how sex feels? no wonder people like it so much, it feels so fucking good. Lottie feels so fucking good in you.

Lotties breathing against your ear quicker, clearly affected by this as well. Lottie lets out a soft moan just from the feeling of you clenching around her finger when she slipped it in. She went to your neck and continues pressing kisses to your neck, her skin buzzing with excitement that shes finally able to show you with nothing but pure love how much she loves you.

“You feel so good..” she mumbles against your throat, taking her sweet time as she pushes her finger in as deep as she can go. Lottie begins slowly pumping her finger in and out, wanting to give you the best possible experience for your first time. Even tho, she has no idea if shes doing it right. After all, you might or might not be her first girlfriend and in intimacy with a girl as well. She moves herself against your tight from time to time.

“I love you..” she mumbles against your neck, still leaving kisses there and there. Her touch is soft and loving, her body weight keeping you in place beneath her.

Shes watching your face carefully, studying your every expression to make sure that this is all okay.

“Are you okay, baby?” she mumbles against your cheek, pressing a sweet kiss here gently. “No pain or anything?”

You couldnt form words with how flustered mess you were so all you could do was nod at the firts question and shake your head with a no when she asked the second question. You didnt trust your voice at all.

She smiles at you softly, giving you a reassuring look even tho you couldnt see it due to having your eyes closed and letting the feeling Lottie is making you feel completely consume you. Carefully, she pushes another finger in, starting to slowly move them back and forth as her palm rubs against your clit. Making a delicious friction that makes your eyes roll back, but thankfully you have your eyes closed, but shit, it feels way too fucking good. All your worries leaving your brain completely and you are just consumed by the feeling of Lottie. Your girlfriend. Your sweet, caring, lovely girlfriend who loves you so damn much and you can tell based how gentle shes being with you right now.

You made a very very loud moan of her name when a second finger enters you, your body arching as your hand grabs a fistful of her hair at the back of her head pulling her face into your neck. She made a light moan at that.

“I got you..” she whispers softly against your ear, her words coming out somewhat ragged and breathless.

You just nodded again, shifting your hips a little and spreading your legs more apart, so Lottie has a better access to that amazing feeling shes slowly making you feel. As you did that, your tight that Lottie was straddling made a friction against her. Making her moan slightly at the feeling.

Lottie took that as a good sigh and increased in speed, Lotties fingers move in and out of you, still making sure she’s being gentle and not too rough.

You were a moaning and whining mess, shit NOW you fully understand why people have sex, like hello? it feels amazing, especially if you do it with the person you are so deeply in love like you are with Lottie.

Lottie smiles at the way you moan, loving that she caused those reactions. Shes looking at your face that has closed eyes and face screwed in pleasure lovingly, her expression is nothing but pure affection and love. Her heart swells at the sigh of you “I love you..” she breathes out with a whisper as she leans down and kisses you lovingly, her fingers moving with the same rhythm now.

You mumble a shaky 'i love you too' against her lips as your brain gets little too fuzzy over this whole experience. You could feel yourself getting closer. Like really fucking closer.

And Lottie could sense that based on your ragged short breath and the way you clench around her fingers more often now, so her fingers start moving even faster and slightly making her palm press against you more, still not too hard or rough. She keeps murmuring sweet nothings against your neck such as telling you that you are so beautiful, that you are perfect and how much she loves you.

She even added a little praise here and there, like

“You are so good” she basically purrs against your ear or “You are so good for me, baby”

And that was it. That send you over the edge couple second after that, Lotties soft deep voice praising you. You felt your body stiffen, your brain going completely blank, your back arching and your breath hitching in your throat as you make a shaky moan of Lotties name leaving your lips until your body goes limp. The orgasm hitting your body like a wave, the most amazing feeling you have experienced. You might shredded a tear or two due to how emotional you were, but just maybe..

She moves her head slightly, kissing your temple as she keeps her fingers moving steadily in and out, letting you ride your orgasm out. Lottie loves being gentle with you, taking it slow and making sure that you are getting exactly what you want.

After couple seconds later she pulls her fingers from you and pepper your face with kisses telling you how much she loves you and how good you were and how you did so well for her.

Oh and dont worry, Lottie had her turn too that night.

You copied exactly what Lottie did to you and it was filled with giggles and pure love as you did it the second time that night. It was perfect you could say. It wasnt serious as people tend to make it, it was carefree, filled with nothing but love and security.

If anything, you both fell more in love with eachother that night.

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

Well.. lets just say that night you discovered your inner freak in you. Did you find out you have a praise kink? yes, yes you did.

Maybe later you discovered you like being choked too (👀) but one thing for sure, you were so madly in love with Lottie it was absolutely gross, you were like a lost puppy and Lottie wasnt any different, she was even worse to be honest.

All of the yellowjackets were so sick of you two (they werent, they were happy for you both, and probably jealous of your relationship because it was so fucking cute it was nauseous) they kinda clocked your shits couple days later, because you both were way too clingy and touchy with eachother more than usual, it was either Van or Nat who clocked it with 'You two had sex" it wasnt even a question but a statement and meant it as a joke and you gave it away when blushed and Lottie bit her lip. The locker room erupted in "ohhhh" and "NO FUCKING WAY!".

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

well... i might come later to edit it, but now, imma leave it because my overthinking ass would change it and for fucks sake it would NOT end up well✋🏻😭 so, jn case there are mistakes, just ignore them, i will come back in a while and edit it. But i hope it WASNT that bad hihi🤞🏻

also @t-wylia i didnt forgot about you!

[dmloae]

—JINX HEADCANONS

cw : streamer!jinx, lowercase intended, mention of sextoy, no x reader just simple jinx headcanons, swearing, me in my funny era (i swear i’m funny in my native language), lmk if there is more!

english is not my first language btw, enjoy!

streamer!jinx who is surprisingly a famous streamer with over 100k followers on socials medias, people like her for her random, chaotic livestreams where she passionately crafts, sometimes blowing up her desk in the process, or even cooks occasionally.

"Hello my wonderful people, today I'll try cooking some MInecraft desert with yall," she would begin..

"..Stay with me now, I am actually an incredible cook for real guys!"

stating with her weird goofy ahh looking apron.

jinxlefttoe : NAAH WHO LET BRO IN THE KITCHENN

mincraftlvr : SHE GON BLOW HER KITCHEN UP IM WHEEZINGG

cookiecoquette : at least she got confidence guys.. ntm on my girl now!

mimemamomu : based on how her apron looks, her cooking is probably gonna be actual cheeks, guys, I’m just saying…

"YALL ARE JUST STRAIGHT UP HATING WHAT THE ACTUAL FREAK GUYS???" she would argue, pointing her finger toward her webcam, which by the way, is always going through a lot with the crazy things Jinx puts it through.

and when she would let VI try a piece of whatever she made on live while uttering to her sister to be honest to her fans,

"You're onto something I can't lie.. Just keep it up, yeah?" VI began,

lowtaperfadefornite : BRO GOT A GUN HELD UP TO HER HEAD

kneesurgeryistmrw : BLINK TWICE IF YOU NEED HELP GIRLY

the comment to that would either be some people making fun of Jinx or people thirsting over her sister.. ALWAYS!

goofycaiaddict : WHO DAT IN DA BACKKKKK

ilovepossays : i mean im as good as Jinx cooking so if you ever want to taste me hmu?

"Yall need to stop thirsting over my sister RIGHT NOW or your asses are getting blocked, im not playing.. AND she was being totally honest are yall doubting your all time favorite streamer?" Jinx would complain while reading all the comments popping up as fast as the speed of light, giving them a puppy-eyed look.

streamer!jinx who would put up a PR adress so fans could send her gifts or some things of her amazon wishlist so she can open them while streaming, and one particular day she was only opening up one pink box wondering what it was,

"CHAT this box is so so pretty like actually," she started while shaking the box.

"Now I'm so exited to see whats inside of it.." she would continue. She then proceded to open the pink package like a excited child on Christmas,

She then slowly looked up from the package to the webcame, a thin line was forming her lips, she exhaled slowly.. And she pulled whatever was in the box to show her fans,

"WHO THE FUCK SENT ME A FUCKING DILDO? I AM DEFINITLY COMING FOR YOUR ASS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK GUYS?"

user5679 : LMAOOOOO TO THE PERSON THAT DID THAT ILY FRL

justkiddg : BROOO YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL IF YOU EVER GET HOES UR PREPARED!

sstylin : HOLY CHEESE THATS ACC SO FUNNY WTH

hklopfh : BROS GETTING BANNED LMAFOO

streamer!jinx who is so brainrotted.

IDC WHAT YOU SAY she would just be on stream, while playing roblox wth the voice chat on, then completly going on and off while muttering some nonsense brain rotted words or references.

streamer!jinx who would go off on 9 years old on roblox.

streamer!jinx who is cronically so online

streamer!jinx who definitly goes to a tatoo palor while streaming because she lost a bet with one of the viewers and she had to get some goofy tatoo.

streamer!jinx who is so ass at playing whatever game that involves shooting.

streamer!jinx who definitly wakes all of her neighbors because of jumpscares.

streamer!jinx who don't look like she gets pussy but she does, trust me.

streamer!jinx who started a youtube channel for funsies but it she litterally got a youtube community with all the ipad kid package that come with it.

streamer!jinx who has an incredible sense of style, she definitly wears carhartt LIKE FOR REAL!

streamer!jinx who is so intentionally funny

ok i got lazy bye!

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

Okay now can we get a 200 paragraph slop description of Nina and Coco’s weird dynamic

grabbig you so hard white knuckle grip digging in nails.

okay so like to get into the two of them together i do have to explain my characterization for coco a bit because while i think with nina everyone has a sort of collective agreement for the most part abt her coco is a little bit more all over the place ? anyway

because my idea of coco is that shes NOT a good guy like crash is. bc i think that crash is genuinely good hearted and likes helping people! i think aku aku is a very positive influence for him and all he will always willingly help even his enemies and thats nice. but coco does not give a fuck about all of that. coco will help crash because she loves him but outside of that everything she does is for her own ends.

i read somewhere that canonically coco has the capability of being a full hero like crash is and could probably do it even better but she just doesnt Want to. and i think thats so good. shes got her own shit going on. i think that she isnt as outside of cortex's influence in her creation as she likes to think; like i think a lot of people are in agreement that she was made to be a general in his army, and cortex successfully made her incredibly intelligent, so it makes sense there would be some aspects of her personality that pull from that.

idk i stick to my thing about how tagteam racing coco is the best shes insane in it like please listen to the voicelines for her theyre so funny .

shes insanely overconfident, shes competitive, shes got a hair trigger temper, shes greedy and snappy. shes a little con artist and is constantly doing startup companies and scamming investors for money , like thats canon. and obviously shes still NICE for the most part she'll do the right thing when she needs to because its usually in her best interests anyway but it doesnt take away from the fact that theres a little rot in the core of her that never really left when she escaped that lab.

and outside of crash and crunch and like, tawna maybe, she doesnt have many friends and NO peers. so theres aspects of her socially where i think shes a freak and doesnt know how to act. never been in school probably has adhd because shes always just starting projects and shit and abandoning them. anyway

so i think! meeting nina is very important for her! like because now she has someone the same age as her with the same level of intellect (and theyre both girls ?? 🙊🙊) and she SUCKS and thinks shes better than her! so of course that kicks cocos lazy ass into gear . i think nina has such a talent for getting under cocos skin and making her insane . especially since coco hasnt had to deal with someone on the same level like that before. and i do think that coco is technically smarter but shes so impulsive, all she can think about is wanting to beat nina in whatever nina can challenge her with. it makes her brain really need to work to fight against her and prove her wrong and theres some awful little rush she gets from proving her wrong , making her Know how smart coco really is, which just makes nina fight harder to take her down.

and they think they hate each other so much but theyre actively seeking each other out to start these fights! as much as they hurt each other its fun for them in a way thats different than if it were anyone else. this snotty little girl that thinks shes SO cool with her dumb metal hands .

but theres still that inherent understanding there too. the way theyre both isolated in the way they are. coco lives on a remote island with people way older than her and nina goes to school sure but in public school everyone hates her! and even at madam amberlies she didnt actually have FRIENDS . coco is the only one who goes out of her way to talk to nina even if its just to tell her shes got a stupid big forhead. and nina calls her a feral rat and they continue their little games and rituals. they dont have to say thats why outright when they can feel it in the way they are so desperate and obsessed with each others attention.

and probably coco doesnt know how badly cortex treats Nina exactly . maybe she thinks shes cruel and nasty for the fun of it. but she knows how terrible cortex CAN be. knows that those hands arent for ninas benefit, that she may as well be an asset. maybe she feels a little pity for her there when she knows ninas being used and probably doesnt even realize that. when ninas smarter than cortex will ever be, when coco had NEVER felt the level of threat from cortex that she has from Nina . she knows shed be better off without him and theres a part of her that wants to see it i think. she likes the challenge, she craves it. it gives her something to do something to actually care about.

and i like the plotline in crash of the titans where coco gets kidnapped by her and forced to work on that machine because it makes me think so much about the dynamic there. like why does Nina NEED Coco? her intelligence probably, i also like to think that nina cant build things as effectively as coco can because of her hands getting in the way and breaking shit.

but theres this funny thing in COTT because ninas like mind controlling her to do this with some helmet but instead of just leaving the thing on her and not bothering with her otherwise nina is CONSTANTLY taking it off just to like. what! banter with her?? gloat?? like she finally has this girl forced to hang out with her and shes having the time of her life . and im not even gonna get into the way that they both fumble over insulting each other the whole time. whatever .

the titans games suck but that interaction gives a lot of potential for the idea of like. nina habitually stealing coco away under the guise of needing her hands . i like that 🫵 always making a big show of making coco her prisoner and forcing her to do her bidding because its weird for her to want to see her so often otherwise. and coco eventually just going along with it because helping nina with these plans makes it more challenging to beat her later on. like shes testing herself. and she likes it. theyre needling each other the whole time and yet that doesnt stop nina from eventually trusting coco enough to let her work with her without even keeping her in a cage. even if it gives coco the potential to double cross her . but she never does!

and of course being that close to your enemy leaves them both vulnerable. i think coco does start to understand the real nature of how cortex is to nina and it does make her feel bad. doesnt notice how little bite her insults are having after so long. how nina actively fights to try to touch her in a way thats Gentle when she brings her back to her lab. the way nina is getting more nervous. shed be stupid not to realize how close theyre getting after a while even when they say theyre enemies. when theyre laughing as they beat each other into the dirt a week later. idkk

and ninas so scared of it im sure. she doesnt make it obvious but i know shes self concious as fuck especially when it comes to coco. shes aware of how she Looks. how pretty coco is and how Good she thinks she is compared to her. not like coco would actually Like her like that. stupid nina with no friends almost no family and an uncle who cant even be bothered half the time. she cant actually TRUST anyone, and this little game she has going with coco has to fall apart eventually even if she's dreading it. dreading the day she actually wins like she says she wants to and coco's Gone.

and ideally coco could work with her like that forever. slap a helmet on her, who cares, shes EVIL right? but something about having coco all mindcontrolled and brainless by her side like she did before makes nina a little sick. even if it was nice just having a friend for a day.

i think even when coco does start trying to be closer to her - because it has to be coco initiating. her confidence is less fake than ninas is lmao - it scares nina at first . for many reasons; reasons like, maybe this is a trick. and shes scared of what cortex will do. and she could hurt coco so easily, just like every other poor little animal unlucky enough to be in her hands. and shes a bad person, and she doesn't deserve to be happy, and happiness is weakness anyway, and BESIDES. coco is so pretty and she could do better but also who could possibly be better than NINA- and its really very complicated. so i think nina pushes her away at first but coco is so stubborn and nina is so weird and they both cant stay away from each other for very long. nina sending Tiny Tiger to give coco a message like 'WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME. NOW I FEEL STUPID AROUND YOU ALL THE TIME DID YOU POISON ME OR SOMETHING' like coco isnt thinking the same damn thing. like man i thought i hated you what happened. why do i like seeing your stupid little grin. fuck off...wait but dont..ahahhh

and i dont think they ever really like sit down and talk about whats going on between them. they just get closer and closer until they know too much about the other. until theyve let their hands linger too long. until ninas memorized how cocos fur feels on her skin and how much shes missed that. and how much emptier their lives are when the other isnt there to ruin their day. lmaoo. you know

i think they can be soft too. i think they deserve that. let themselves get tired out after all their arguing and spitting and they just look at each other. and its just them, alone together, and they kind of know that they arent going to get this with anyone else. and so i think they allow themselves to be soft with each other . when nina realizes she cant keep pushing coco away and lets her in and coco will kiss her and hold her and let her feel like that girl she was before cortex kind of ripped it all away. just for a little bit. because they know theyll be back after each other later on, they dont really know another way to be yet other than that. but they can have this too and no one else has to know or to get it.

also side note i think its funny how animals have an affinity for nina despite what cortex did to her . and like there is a part of nina that likes coco a lot because she is silly and fluffy and soft and cute and nina is actively working to kill that part of her while coco , Being An Animal, can kind of sense that about her too. i think she uses that against her a little bit . idkk . she thinks nina is cute even if you couldnt torture that fact out of her.

aa. holy fuck. anyway

[that-hippie-user]

Without hypnosis, how would you encourage someone to become a diaper-addicted bedwetter? What’s the best argument you could make to win them over?

i'd like to answer this in the form of a ramble. no hypnosis, no traps, no triggers. literally just a lesson from me to you. click below if you're curious.

some folks describe the world we're in as one that tries to fit you into a mold, to shape you a desired way.

but a mold is a very simple process, pour liquid substance into a vessel with the desired shape, let it solidify, and its done. taking an otherwise shapeless thing and giving it shape in a very easy way.

life is not a mold, but an extruder.

a length of meterial is sent down a tube, which itself gradually shifts from the original shape, to the desired one.

the process is gradual, the material shapes itself almost as if it were meant to, but it's being guided to that shape by the tunnel its in.

you werent given a role from the start and made to fit it, you were gradually acclimated to that role until it became normal.

its the small things. being corrected on how you sit, or how loud your voice is, or telling you to stop tapping your feet, or saying particular interests dont fit your role.

i used to naturally cross my legs, i had an interest in pink, i loved made for dvd cartoons like strawberry shortcake or tinker bell. turned out i was transgender, and the role of "boy" was one i was shaped to be through peer pressure.

now, what does this have to do with diapees?

put simply, you NEVER had a say in potty training.

kids often have no say in a lot of things, its taken for granted that a kid needs guidance if they're gonna be safe in this world. but potty training is a universal lesson.

how did YOU react at the time? to being told you have to "graduate" from diapers. were you agreeable? upset? did you try to rebel? it doesnt matter, all roads lead to you being potty trained.

its so deeply ingrained in our society its practically a core foundation. think about this for a moment, KINDNESS is not mandatory. sure, as a kid you're taught to share and care, but how many people do you know who carried that into adulthood? in fact, in a capitalist sense, kindness is a weakness to the goal of profit.

so, we live in a world where you CANNOT under ANY circumstance choose to be diapered, unless you "need" to, like, if there is no alternative. and yet you can live life as the biggest jerk in history and you're not even guaranteed a reprimand for it.

and yet... everyone ALSO agrees that being a kid is the best thing in the world, and you should enjoy it while you can because it wont last, you cant go back to that.

and that much IS true... but you CAN go back in some ways.

oh sure, you WILL grow up. lessons get learned, fears develop, motor function improves, your body gets taller and stronger, and your brain naturally develops as it goes, that much is ALL true...

but... you CAN still wear diapers... in fact, it almost seems like you're gently encouraged to? cuz like... every store with a pharmacy has a nearby section for adult diapers, they got ENTIRE ISLES of diapers. in every size you'd need.

because as much as society tries to tell us diapers are meant to be left behind, we cant deny that sometimes they are necessary, stores NEED these if they can have them.

and if thats the case... if systems are in place for people to wear diapers... what exactly is wrong with using them?

and furthermore, its probably the ONE holdover from childhood you can always go back to.

no matter how big you get, you cant change one universal fact. diapers exist, they have an intended function, and you CAN use them, if you are brave.

and if you do? you're being a TRUE rebel, moreso than most really. you're doing the ONE thing adults must NEVER do, the thing that potty training was MADE for.

if you wear and use diapees, you are choosing to reject an instinct of adulthood in favor of your own personal rebellious joy, and that is BADASS.

and why shouldnt you? if gender is a social construct, then so is growing up. you CAN redefine what it means to you. you can decide for yourself what it means.

and if you do... you ALSO have the option... to take it FURTHER.

because you know... training like that can be UNDONE too.

not fully, mind, your body now has the ability to know when it needs to go, that much stays.

buuuuut. your ability to hold it CAN be undone.

;3 and thats not even hypnosis, all you have to do is use your diapees! X3 im not joking, peeing yourself outside of a bathroom scenario gives your body and brain permission to do it elsewhere.

UwU and with time... it gets harder to hold it. ;3 how long does it take?

3 WEEKS

3 weeks of continued diaper use is all it takes to lose control.

but why? why lose control? what point is there is making you wet yourself? (or mess if thats your thing. X3 its certainly mine!)

because if using diapers is rebellion, then unpotty training is FREEDOM

its the ultimate middle finger to the training you were given, a sound rejection of the thing you were taught is most important.

and once you reject that... the skies the limit!

do you have any idea how much CONFIDENCE it takes to willingly make yourself a puddlepants?

if you're willing to do that, no force on this earth can stop you. gender? redefine it as you please. fashion? you wear diapers for underwear, wear whatever you want. hobbies? passions? do what you like! ;3 not like bathroom breaks can stop you anymore.

so go nuts! have fun! live life on YOUR terms.

diapers are fun, diapers are soothing, diapers are freeing, and diapers are YOURS to wear.

be free, be a mushtush!

[skxllbxnny-arts]

8 YEARS ALREADY?!?! good lird. was feeling nostalgic today so i drew the gloves and boots how i used to, and even made a version with the pink tutu :)

two years from now it'll be a decade old. thats wild to me. i have an idea to pitch to the community for the 10th bendyversary but i don't wanna make anybody feel like they have to do something ajsksjk. augh i love this community i love bendy it scratches my brain just right. ive been here since the begginning and i highly doubt i'm ever leaving<3 love u all!!! stay safe ♡

vers with tutu (and my idea) under the cut :)

also because i should probably write it down before i forget, heres my idea:

basically, make a BATIM/DR version of "brony polka" (basically taking a whole lot of fan songs and mashing them together in polka style), and each song could have "cover art" by a different artist. and kinda form a big community project that covers music and art (which are two of the biggest things in this community to me)

all wrapped up in a silly music video and a love letter to the batim games. idk if that made any sense but it'd be cool and i'd love to chip in ajsksj (maybe i'll plan how to write out the song and the transitions- but i'm no proffessional, so i don't know haha)

ok byebye ♡

[patchworkcuddlebug]

notes

DONT SUBMIT THIS. this is just where im gonna write down observations and hypothosises hypotheses about the artifact this isnt a formal report. keep this pages seperate from anything you submit to the class

i found it at a non-magical thrift shop. its a single ribbon that was in the toy section, but its too big for a stuffed animal, and it was on a shelf too high for kids to reach anyway. its a simple red colour and you can tell from the wear/bends in the fabric that its meant to be worn in a bow

its SO cursed. i could sense it as soon as i was through the door. something doesnt get that powerful accidentally, unless a witch older than the professors have been using it for over a century. i think it was intentionally enchanted and left for some human sucker

ill read up on class protocol and start experimenting tomorrow

day 1

i scheduled some time in a mannequin room. i double checked everything, the falsified humanity in the mannequin, lack of external contamination, everything seemed fine. after 3 hours of the bow on its wrist, and then its hair, i cant find any registerable enhancements or curses.

my current hypothesis is that there isnt any effect on the wearer. its a false positive enchantement, where all of its energy is going towards appearing powerful instead of actually doing anything

which is a relief cuz according to protocol i can wear it now ehehehe. i was really hoping its be benign because its a really cute ribbon? i was kinda distracted by the magic part but its really nice! it has a fun retro vibe, i love how the colour is just a little faded too. should i wear more ponytails?

day 2

started out by just wearing it on my wrist. i know it probably doesnt make too much of a difference as long as im wearing it at all, but i dunno if it really is cursed i at least dont want it to start by my brain

i dont think there were any effects? maybe its cuz i kept fiddling with it all day so it may have interrupted the connection? most cursed artifacts need a physical connection and if this is an accessory it could be designed for long-term contact. so i guess as long as i take it off every once in a while ill be fine? im still sticking with the false positive hypothesis, just being precautious

i guess i could just talk about my day in case there are symptoms in retrospect? i cant really think of anything negative though. i did a great job focusing in class and i feel like i was really productive. i made some good progress on my term paper and i took really solid notes

i guess i kinda zoned out between classes? it wasnt when i was talking with friends or anything just doing menial stuff like walking around. i wasnt daydreaming or anything it was just like my brain kinda shut off and my body moved on its own. i dont think thats a thing, im probably just on edge and noticing a habit for the first time. nothing to worry about

Day 3

alright. i wore it in my hair today. so far so good?

i experienced the following things that may be symptoms: minor stiffness in the muscles, a greater inclination to formality, and a strange feeling in the wrist (specifically the same one i wore the ribbon on yesterday). the feeling is hard to pin down, its a strange floaty stiffness underneath the skin. it isn't unpleasant, but the asymmetry isnt welcome.

i feel like this is definitely an effect of my wearing it closer to my head, like i suspected the other day. i dont think its enough to warrent taking it off yet. its a very nice ribbon.

Day 4.

I am turning into a doll.

I shouldn't have kept wearing it. I should've taken yesterday as a warning. Now I feel that emptiness spreading and it's spreading way too fast. There's also the... physical transformation.

My left wrist is starting to... it's hard to explain. I can feel the changes happening. There's still skin over my wrist joint but it feels like it's not natural. It's still literally human skin, but it feels as if there's a glove that's growing thinner by the hour. I think before the day is over it'll waste away completely as it slowly corrupts the rest of my hand.

The mental transformation is much more worrying. In the grand scheme of things my behaviour is mostly unchanged. I'm just more... aware of it now. Typically, I naturally slouch, and I've been made more self-aware of this habit to the extent that I need to manually initiate it rather than falling into it unconsciously. It's the same with whenever I notice my attention drifting during lectures, or notice that I'm walking too loosely, or speaking too casually. It may just be that heightened awareness is an aspect of dollhood, or... it's more noticable because it's out of place for a doll to act in such a way. Regardless, I do not feel forced to defy this inclinations yet.

I don't want to write the same way I did before. Looking at how I did before feels... wrong. Inappropriate. i can try and force something more casual but i have to force it, it feels like trying to speak a second language youve only. Excuse me. That you've only just started learning. I want to go back and fix that but I feel like it would undermine my point. It just doesn't feel right, there's something viscerally discomforting about doing that.

I'm very hesitant to reach out about this. Beyond a fear of social repercussion inherent to admitting that a witch is becoming a doll, I'm worried that there will be a serious academic punishment attached to being this callous with a cursed artifact. I'll need to find a student I can trust to reverse this.

Day Five.

Things are getting dire. This I can feel the changes getting harder to resist.

Physically, the transformation has already converted my entire left arm. My wrist, elbow, and most of its my left hand have been changed into a hollow plastic, only movable with exposed joints. This one exp I expected it to feel more harrowing, for the creeping conversion to feel more tangibly uncomfortable, but so far it is... pleasant. Being emptied out always seemed so unwelcome when the older witches described it, but it feels nice to not have the constant pulsing of blood or the strain of muscles. This one likes the noise it makes when it taps agains

I. Me. I do. Me me human person witch.

This is what I mean. It feels like I have to be vigilant to talk like a person, and a single moment's broken concentration is all it takes to give in and become complacent to dollhood.

I need to intentionally break my posture to slouch. This one c I cannot stop my footsteps from being dainty and gentle. During lectures when the professor asks for input from the class, it takes deliberate effort to avoid participation, because good dolls always do as they are told.

I didn't write that. I swear to the stars I didn't write that. It was thinking about what to write next and that thought just... naturally injected itself. Perhaps this one needs to. Perhaps I need to resort to desperate measures and remove the bow. But I... really don't want to. It makes this one look so pretty, like a good doll.

No, no, I'm not a good doll, I don't WANT to be a good doll. I feel like I'm going insane. My humanity is draining by the second and soon there's be nothing left but empty pliability and polite docility. That is a bad thing. I am not excited for that. This one needs to put more effort into finding a witch to break this curse. It wishes it could skip its lectures, but good dolls do as they're t

I. Am. Going to bed.

Day Six.

This one's friends have finally noticed. This one accidentally called one of them "miss" when answering a question, and then the entire secret quickly unravelled. This one needed to use a sweater to hide the transformation reaching its shoulders, and there's a distinctly inhuman texture to this one's face, so it was easy for them to unravel once I gave them reason to be suspicious.

They offered to be the ones to conduct the search for the cure, on the only condition that this one take care of some menial chores to help free time in their schedules. This one feels... a little conflicted. On one hand, it is excited to be closer to its humanity! It cannot wait to feel blood spill through its body, and escape that terrifying feeling of having its brain shut off so it feels nothing but a fluttering emptiness.

This one. Just said "Awawa". Out loud.

It does not want this to progress further. Yes, it feels... very nice to be a doll. But that enjoyment has to be the work of the curse. This one needs to return to its study, it cannot afford to fall behind in the academic arms race. Being a human means having expectations to fulfill, something dolls are too simple and too docile to understand.

This one. Did it. Again.

This is a vacation. Nothing more. It will indulge in its urges to be obedient when doing chores for its friends and then return to developing its magic talent to the greatest degree the curse will allow.

Day Five Hundred and Twelve.

This one was rather surprised to find its notes from before it became. They were tucked away in its closet, with other sentimental items such as certain childhood keepsakes and its government identification. This one figured it would be fun to return to journaling as a hobby.

As can likely be surmised, this one remains a doll. The search for a cure was fruitless and fizzled out naturally due to a lack of investment, both from this one and from Miss. Speaking of, Miss is one of its friends from university, although the word "friend" feels like a shallow means of explaining a doll's relationship with its witch. Its other friends still keep contact and meet up for tea, which this one greatly enjoys catering for.

It feels very silly looking back at this one's humanity, especially given the apprehension it felt towards becoming. In retrospect, the situation being forced upon this one was likely the only way it would have become without years of soul-searching introspection, so it is very thankful to have happened upon such a gift so long ago. Perhaps part of its enchantment was to find the right host?

Part of this one misses that ribbon. It was such a nice colour... but this one feels confident in the decision to return it to the same thrift store it was once found in. It feels excited for the next lucky doll to feel the same joys that this one did. The exhilaration of feeling your body become lighter and more rigid, the stillness slowly overtaking your mind with greater and greater intensity, and of course the pleasure of following one's purpose. Awawawa...

It is late, and good dolls need rest. This one is excited to spend tomorrow night writing about all the joys of serving Miss.

[bedoballoons]

Hi! Could I request a bit of angst to fluff? Maybe Kaeya, Tighnari, Aether, and Itto when there s/o leaves without telling them to clear their head after an argument and they get worried thinking they left them? I'm not sure that makes sense, but I hope it does.

Thank you!

It makes sense!! Thank you so much for your request and I'm so sorry it took a long time to write for you!! I hope you still enjoy it though!

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃

{༻~Have you left me~༺}

CW: Angst to fluff! Past arguments but making up in the end! Characters think the reader may have left them! Kaeya drinks some wine to ease the pain! Very slight mention of the abyss twin in Aethers.

(Includes: Itto, Tighnari, Kaeya, and Aether!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Itto:

Itto combed a hand through his thick white hair, trying to make sense of how everything had went bad so quickly, how the two of you had actually gotten into a full blown argument...he loved you so much, why did he start yelling back, what was wrong with him. He sighed, not knowing how to make it better, he wanted to go after you, but you'd just left. What if you didn't want to see him, what if you didn't want anything to do with him... what if you no longer wanted to be his one and oni...

"Come on Itto, use that brain of yours. What do you do when you've upset someone? Apologize. Right right okay, gotta apologize. Flowers? Those are romantic...but maybe to cheesy! What if...yes thats it!" He made a plan out loud, hurrying to get what was needed before running out the door after you. He searched for hours, checking every spot he'd ever caught you in, asking around for you to every person he saw until finally...he found you.

You were sitting under the shade of a lavender melon tree, eyes puffy from tears and nose red from the cold, you looked heart broken...,"Hey, I know you don't want to talk to me right now, for good reason too but I have to talk to you okay! I'm not good with words, but I know how to say sorry...and I know how to say I love you and in case you don't believe me...I wanted to give you something..."

You looked up at him, eyes widened when you saw a golden beetle trophy in his hands...to anyone else this would have been ridiculous, but you knew it was something he cherished, probably even his most precious item, "What... why would you...that's the most important thing in the world to you..."

He shook his head, setting the trophy in front of you, "No you're wrong, you're the most important thing in the world to me and I'm really really sorry I made you upset. I'll do anything to make it better, you can throw beans at me, I'll give you all of my candy stash...I'll even give you my prizes beetles...I just want to be with you."

You started to cry more, which caught him a little off guard, but these were happy tears..."I want to be with you too...and I'm sorry for what I said...I love you Itto."

"I love you more"

𑁍༄Tighnari:

Tighnari rubbed his eyes, trying to dry the tears that didn't seem to have a end, his ears droopy and you...the person he loved with all his heart, had just walked out without a word. Was it over? Was he never going to be able to hug you again? He just couldn't accept it, he needed you in his life and maybe he hadn't said that enough, but he'd say it as many times as you wanted as long as your promised to come back with him.

He quickly threw on a extra coat, he had no plan and no way of knowing where you had went, but even if it took all night, he'd find you just to apologize, just to let you know how much he adored you. He'd search the entire forest if he had to.

Thankfully it wasn't needed, after a few hours his ears perked up, the soft sounds of your sobs reverberating off cave walls, the place he had shown you one time while gathering herbs...it was by a waterfall that held glowing algae and he's been wanting to take you back for so long... he never would have thought the two of you revisiting would be at a time like this..

He made his way to you and sat down, feeling a pang in his chest when you scooched away, it hurt...fighting with you, "I'm...I'm so sorry. Im sure you don't even want to hear it, but I don't think I've ever been so upset with myself before. I love you and I have never wanted to make you unhappy...you...you are my person. My soulmate. The one. Please...I don't want you to leave, I don't want us to end...I can't...loose you."

His voice started to break, sentences getting harder to finish, he couldn't even picture his life without you anymore and the horrible thought that it could happen because of his mistakes was eating him alive...

"I don't...want to loose you either Tighnari... soulmates go both ways. I'm yours and you're mine and I love you,...I just don't want to fight." You swallowed roughly, trying to stop yourself from crying even more as he wrapped his coat around you and pulled you into him, embracing you tighter than he ever had, "I love you too, and I promise...no more fighting."

𑁍༄Kaeya:

Kaeya took another sip from his wine bottle, trying to calm himself down...he almost never got into confrontations, in fact he always avoided them, preferring to smooth talk his way out of situations instead...,but what had went down between the two of you was anything but smooth. He'd said such hurtful things, he didn't even mean to, he'd just lost his cool and then you ran off before he could apologize and now...here he was, sitting under the stars trying to drink away his feelings when he knew full well it wasn't going to solve anything.

Then as he was sitting there, staring off into space...he caught sight of you, just barely outside the city walls, throwing rocks into the water with a satisfying splash while sniffling and holding yourself for comfort between tosses. Suddenly his wine lost any flavour, his mind drawn back to when he first met you, the way your eyes sparkled, the way your smile made his heart skip a beat...and how you laughed at his advances, completely oblivious to his feelings.

He picked himself off the chair he'd been sitting on, left his bottle waiting on the table for a cheery bard to find and then made his way over to you, more serious and determined than he had been in a very long time. The second he was close enough he gently intertwined you hand with his, spinning you for a brief second so your eyes would meet and your body would be close to his...the air felt cold, but he had a warm smile and before you could even attempt to push him away he kissed your lips.

It was unlike any kiss you'd ever had with him, it was passionate...slow...apologetic, it conveyed everything he wanted to say to you without ever saying a word and when he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, he begged you to stay with him.

𑁍༄Aether:

Aether was running, running past branches and shrubbery, past trees and jumping over rocks, he wasn't worried about what scratches or bruises he'd have by the time he got to you, all he was worried about...all that was running through his mind, was his apology to you. He didn't know what had even started the argument anymore, he didn't care, he just needed you to know he was wrong and that he loved you, that he didn't want you to go, that he couldn't let you go.

He frantically searched around, looking for signs of you while he tripped over sticks and stomped into muddy puddles, "Hello!!" He shouted for you, his eyes scanning the moonlit trees and then, in the distance, he saw a faint light. It was the lamp you had taken with you when you'd left without a word and his first sign that you were near him. He ran to it, knowing full well he looked like a mess when he finally caught up to you, panting and covered in dirt....he looked like he'd just been through a hurricane.

"Aether what the hell-"

"No n-no, wait let me start. I just, i-i just had to follow you because none of what I said was true, I love you. That's the truth. I'd r-run to the ends of the earth to tell you that and then I'd do it again to prove it if you asked me to. Please, forgive me. I can't go on without you, I can't loose you too..." He looked away, trying not to think about his sister...about what it would be like if he didn't have you in his life anymore...what reason would he even have to continue?

"Did you really run...all the way here?"

"Yes, I love you and I don't want you to go..."

"I love you too Aether...and it's okay, I just wanted to clear my head, I'm not leaving." You went to kiss him...but decided it better wait till after he had been cleaned, you'd never had someone run so far just for you before...

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

◥(•̀￦•́)◤☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 ☾𖤓~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧

[nights-at-crystarium]

i just wanted to pop by and gush about how incredibly well written vivi is because GOD. his story unfolding has made me reconsider several story beats about my wol and thats an amazing thing

theres two things that i think uve done especially well with his storytelling, being that vivi feels like an almost complete enigma to the reader, despite how intimate this story is, and the fact that vivi feels incredibly human - almost TOO human to be comfortable with

so to elaborate on the first point - i think a lot of us (and certainly i can) echo thancreds sentiment that he doesn't know vivian rell, because as intimate as this story can get with his pov, in the end, much like someone you'd meet in real life, we don't know much about him before the point we meet him, and any glimpses we get just signal that theres so much more to him than we get to see. and as much as we DO know about him, i find that every time he does one of his blank, furrowed stares that signal he's thinking something, my brain practically lights on fire trying to figure out what he's considering. to that end i really like how enigmatic uve made him from a storytelling perspective, because it makes him feel so much more real!!! i honestly look forward a lot to learning more fragments (heh) of him and slowly piecing together a puzzle of him as the story goes on. i just want to rotate him in my head lol

but also, this does segue into my other point really well, which is the fact that vivis position as wol really seems to wear on him, and he seems for lack of a better word, completely exhausted! i know (myself included) write their wols with a trait of an almost unbreakable, iron will, which is very much still true in vivis case (again, anyone who gets to the point of shadowbringers without flat out giving up is incredibly strong by default) but showing him at his wits end, exhausted with the burdens of a hero, someone just so throughly *done* with what is, realistically, a pretty shit job is well... yeah! of course he is! he's only human, and he's what, saved the world 3 times now? seen countless die before him, powerless to save them, of course he's numb. the fact that the most defining experiences of the first for him are filled with mostly such... benign experiences, and that the major, climatic moments of shadowbringers get as much fanfare as a forlong gaze, or a like. him hanging out with his fairy bestie is such a cool storytelling decision. (also before i ramble about this the decision to not even show tesleen is such an excellent decision bc like. it makes sense for him for this to not be such a significant moment. shes just another death, another tally to the thousands hes already seen. or maybe im reading WAYYY too hard into a decision to not highjack this love story with plot) basically, what i've been gushing about is the fact that vivi feels very much like a whole person, and is probably one of the most well realised wols ive ever read about. and his relationships with the world leaders, and this impossible burden hes forced to shoulder has gotten me to reconsider how i write my wol, because yeah! any hero might be strong-willed and resilient, but theyre still human, and the burden of a warrior of light is maybe, a little too much for anyone to bear.

i hope u could at least make something out of my rambles, but honestly to sum it all up i am incredibly captivated by vivi. i originally read fragments because i like ANY wolgraha content but now, i come back almost exclusively to see how vivi's story unfolds, and how graha eventually comes into the fold too. hes such a fascinating character, and i think youve done an incredible job of creating a well rounded hero, full of humanity!!! (also, if you want, feel free to post this on ur blog!!)

I think I shat myself like 5 times while reading this (positive)

Vivi being an enigma wasn't really part of the plan. We have a pool that's his lore, things I wanna tell, and a bottleneck through which it has to go. The comic format forces me to consider what bits of info to deliver when, there's only so much I can tell at a time. One deliberate choice I made is completely burn the bridge between ARR and ShB, skip, leave it empty. That already sparks questions when we see a different Vivi at the beginning of ShB (and gives me leeway, time to write with more nuance, I didn't Think about HW-SB in such scrupulous detail as ShB).

I wanted to tell a primarily ShB story from the start, but had less ambition, and planned to condense the angsty bits that you're reading nowadays into an infodump told by Vivi to no one (to the reader). Changing the receiving party to a tangible character who's eager to learn (Exarch) made the info easier to digest and anchored it in the world. This change, fwiw, happened in like 2022 while I drew the ARR arc, saw the warm reception, and got more excited about my thing. I constantly learn and try to improve, writing's a new toy that brings me tons of fun.

So, when I learned the new trick - telling things through other characters - I thought, why not make everyone slightly wrong, or rather, with a specific snapshot of Vivi in their head. Same happens irl, people only know the version of you that they're exposed to, the only person who knows the full and real you is you.

That brings me to the next point, why Vivi feels so human: I made him not as a wol/hero, but a guy I wanna ship with Exarch, his foil. Obligatory note it was dumb of me to ignore Emet's existence in that case, but that's already changed. Exarch denies himself the simple human joys, he plots his own fucking death, so I thought I'd give him a guy that teaches him how to enjoy being alive again. That was THE foundation of Vivi, his core. He's a manic pixie dream boy.

Then I started asking how and why: why he falls for Exarch specifically instead of ARRRaha? He's confident, selfish, casual (these traits are what Exarch lacks), emotionally intelligent, where did that come from? He must've had an utterly normal life and loving family before he became a hero. He grew up being appreciated and happy. OH, then his ass must LOATHE the current situation because he can't go back to that normal life! So on, so forth.

i find that every time he does one of his blank, furrowed stares that signal he's thinking something, my brain practically lights on fire trying to figure out what he's considering.

This's me carefully dropping the breadcrumbs and hoping that you notice them, and you go HOLY SHIT BREADCRUMBS, this's so validating ;w; <3 This's overtly called a story hook, though I prefer "door". So far this story's only opened doors, as in hinted at more stuff without immediately showing it. I love it when questions get delayed answers, when you get time to stew on it and build up anticipation, then, when the door finally closes, it's much more satisfying. I keep in mind all the doors I've opened, if something provokes a question, it's by design.

(also before i ramble about this the decision to not even show tesleen is such an excellent decision bc like. it makes sense for him for this to not be such a significant moment. shes just another death, another tally to the thousands hes already seen. or maybe im reading WAYYY too hard into a decision to not highjack this love story with plot)

You're 100% correct!! I'm not retelling the canon ShB story from a default wol pov, this's a custom thing focused on ships, therefore anything that doesn't contribute to said ships gets cut. You may read what's NOT shown as what Vivi doesn't pay attention to.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, this gave me so much motivation like you wouldn't know ;//////;

[wileys-russo]

childhood sweethearts (5) II a.russo x reader

series playlist part one part two part three part four

and as we await the fate of our two main protagonists eventual kiss. its time to find out what really happened six years ago. childhood sweethearts (5) II a.russo x reader

"do i need to pick you up tomorrow then?" your older sister lily asked as she pulled up outside the russo household, drumming her fingers on her steering wheel as you unbuckled and shook your head.

"no i'll probably stay the full weekend and just go to school with less on monday." you shrugged, reaching around to grab your bag off the backseat. "what about your uniform? books? your bag?" your sister frowned as you opened her door.

"i've got a spare uniform here, i can borrow a bag to put my stuff in and i've already got my books with me, i have to study." you patted your overnight bag as the girl rolled her eyes. "of course you do, does your brain even know what a weekend is or do you mentally go to school 7 days a week?" she jeered as you mocked her and flipped her off, closing her door as her window rolled down.

"some of us have aspirations to graduate lilian." you smiled, your sister having dropped out early to pursue a career in cosmetics which had lasted all of three months. "have a shit time dickhead!" your sister called out after you as you made your way down the driveway, flipping her off again without turning around.

"none of that here thank you young lady." your face flushed red as carol opened the front door for you before you'd even arrived, having seen you through the window. "sorry carol." you smiled guiltily, giving her a hug as she let you in with an amused smile.

"lessi's just showering sweetheart." the woman explained as you hummed, leaving your bag by the lounge and following her to the kitchen, you'd been wondering why the girl hadn't responded to you on the way over here and now it made sense.

"shortstack! i saw your hot sister dropped you off." gio wiggled his eyebrows suggestively before pulling you into a gentle headlock as you rounded the corner. "urgh you're like my brother gio thats so weird!" you gagged at the comment, wrestling to try and remove his arm to no use.

"oi get off her!" his grip disappeared as alessia entered, bottle blonde hair pulled up into a damp bun on her head as she punched her brother in the ribs, immediately pulling you into a protectively tight hug as gio let you go with a loud groan of pain.

"mum!" the boy huffed in complaint, your girlfriend rolling her eyes and mumbling an apology as the older women told her off. "i wish you'd fuck off back to jordan." the boy sulked, grabbing an apple and heading back upstairs to his room as carol yelled after him for swearing.

your girlfriend had only just gotten back yesterday from a week away at a junior lionesses tournament which had been held in jordan. as much as you'd missed her dearly you couldn't have been more proud of her or the two goals she scored, getting her rightful start in the final game. you'd only wished you were able to be there but you didn't have the luxury of a national call up as an excuse to miss a week of school.

"we'll be in my room mum." alessia announced, arm slung over your shoulder as the woman hummed and waved you off, head buried in a recipe book making you smile as your girlfriend lead you away, stopping to grab your bag for you, silencing your protests with a very quick peck to your lips after she'd triple checked no one else was around.

the pair of you had been seeing one another officially for almost two years now however no one but each other actually knew that, and just assumed you were best friends, forever thick as thieves and inseparably close.

neither of you had any idea how no one had caught on yet, maybe it was because you and alessia had always been so close and so affectionate nothing seemed out of sorts to the average eye.

you'd always loved alessia in one way or another. but when it was just the two of you behind a closed door and your lips were pressed together, cold hands roaming one anothers bodies, murmuring everything and anything you loved about the other, you were absolutely infatuated with her in a way so intense it was almost scary.

and that was one sort of love you both agreed you weren't ready to share with anyone but each other just yet.

though both of you did need to often stumble through pools of awkward lies and ramble quickly made up stories as you'd be called out by your friends for the occasional poorly placed or forgotten about hickey.

this was normally your problem. ever since she'd figured out how sensitive your neck was the taller girl utilised every and any opportunity to capitolise on that.

riled on by the whiny begs for her not to stop as she hungrily attacked and devoured your neck late at night, silencing you with a hand pressed over your mouth and a gentle warning in your ear that if you weren't quiet she would stop.

"hi." you breathed out with a grin, looking up adoringly at the striker once the two of you were finally alone behind the safety and security of her locked bedroom door. "god i missed you." alessia sighed, pulling you into a bone crushing hug as you reveled in one anothers touch.

"we spoke every day lessi!" you laughed into her shoulder, alessia having been told off both by her roommate ella and her coach for the hours spent on her phone when she was supposed to be resting and recovering.

"we could be together every minute of every day and i'd still miss you." the blonde pulled away with a cheeky smile as you rolled your eyes playfully. "don't wish that on me please, what a nightmare!" you groaned teasingly as your girlfriend scoffed, holding a hand to her chest in mock offence.

"lessi!" you squealed as she tackled you down onto her bed, hovering over you. "that's baby to you, thanks very much." alessia pouted as you laughed, thumb stroking her cheek affectionately. "there is also something else i missed that we can't do on the phone." the blonde smiled suggestively, cocking her head to the side as her hair fell around you both like a curtain.

"mmm...nothing comes to mind." you looked off into the distance as if deep in thought, hand coming to stroke your chin as alessia playfully shoved your head. "kiss me then star girl." you smiled softly, tugging at her shirt.

as your eyes met, the world seemed to fade away. you felt her hand gently touch your cheek, slender fingers tracing a line down your jawline. hearts raced as her lips met yours, soft and gentle at first, then with a growing intensity as she poured into the kiss just how much she had missed you.

if you were sentenced to death the next day and were allowed one last day to do as you pleased, you'd be sure to spend it kissing alessia.

every single time felt just like the first. the same nervous butterflies would flutter around inside you, lips would tingle as if you'd just smeared them with popping candy, your heart grew five sizes to the point it felt it might burst in your chest.

each kiss was full of tenderness and passion, a dance of two hearts in perfect harmony as the girl who you trusted with your heart and your life drowned you with her love.

you felt her arms wrap even tighter around you, pulling your bodies close as you lost yourselves in the moment. the world around you ceased to exist, leaving only the two of them in a sea of pure unbridled emotion, two hearts beat as one.

her lips always slightly chapped melded against yours perfectly, kissing you with just the right amount of firm pressure to have your stomach in knots, and yet each touch felt so soft and so tender that your brain went fuzzy at the sensation.

her hand would always reach out to tangle in your hair as your own gently carressed her cheek, thumb stroking her jawline, feeling it clench at the featherlight touch.

and then suddenly your lungs would scream for a reprise and you'd pull away, collapsing into the mattress as both of you lay on your sides, eyes locked as chests heaved and alessia leant forward to brush a few flyaways behind your ear.

gone were the afternoons of her kicking a ball at your head, smearing mud on your face as the two of you wrestled and rolled around in the dirt like steam rollers.

your afternoons now were spent wrapped up in the others arms, sharing kisses as you filled one another in on the seemingly more mundane parts of your day the other hadn't been present for, you and alessia only sharing two classes in your final year of school.

on the days alessia trained after school you studied, often at her house in her bedroom eagerly awaiting her to return.

the striker would have left her boots outside at her mums strict request, trudging up the stairs with an exhausted sigh as you'd perk up hearing the squeak of the infamous stair the two of you learned to avoid when sneaking downstairs for a midnight snack.

she would shoulder open her door and dump her kit bag on the ground, making a beeline for her bed and belly flopping normally on top of you, face buried in your neck as she clung onto you tightly with a mumbled greeting hello.

sometimes you'd wind her up and tell her you wouldn't kiss her until she showered, dodging her attempts as you teased her for smelling terribly which normally ended in her trapping you in a bear hug beneath her until you tapped out on her back and gave in, allowing her lips to finally meet yours.

other times she'd have been told she wasn't starting next game and her head would hang low from the moment she entered the room. you'd immediately sit up and brush your books to the side, opening your arms for her to melt into. carding your fingers through her hair and slipping a hand up her top you'd hold her tightly, rubbing circles on her back, lips lingering on her sweaty forehead.

as you'd always known, you loved alessia, nowadays in a way much more intimate and tender than you'd have ever understood in your youth.

"you're so beautiful." the taller girl spoke softly as you lay side by side, words melting you like butter as you couldn't help but blush, no matter how often she complimented you it still had you swooning.

"why are you so shy? it's very cute baby but we've known each other like our whole lives." alessia laughed as you hid your face in your hands, the blonde prying them away and attacking your face with kisses only making your cheeks heat up further.

her leg nudging yours as you lifted one, allowing hers to slot in perfectly, your limbs tangled up as your foreheads pressed against one anothers.

"il mio bel bambino." (my pretty baby) her lips moved to gently kiss your fingertips, hands held captive in hers.

"you learned more italian!" your face lit up in pride as alessia eagerly nodded, beginning to ramble about how she had made it her mission to continue her online lessons even while away.

"alessia mia teresa russo studying in her free time? has there been an doomsday i wasn't aware of? are you feeling okay?" you gasped holding the back of your hand to her forehead, squealing as her fingers jabbed sharply at your sides.

"yeah well unlike school work this is something i actually want to learn!" she rolled her eyes and you grinned, kissing her nose and swooning as she scrunched it up adorably.

"hey. can we talk about something?" the blonde asked hesitantly, eyes dropping down to avoid yours, messing with your fingers as you nodded, eyebrows knitting into a curiously concerned frown at what was to come.

"okay but i don't know how you'll react so we have to do the thing." alessia decided, looking to you for confirmation as you hummed, the two of you sitting up and spinning around suddenly.

you shuffled slightly so your back was pressed against hers, hands finding one anothers and intertwining your fingers as your heads slumped onto one anothers shoulders, eyes closing.

"what's on your mind lessi?" you asked softly, squeezing her hands supportively as she let out a long sigh. "well. when we were away a few of the girls were talking about their...well their first times, with their boyfriends." alessia started quietly, her heart hammering away in her chest with every word.

"and i guess it just got me thinking about it." she spoke a little quicker now, clearly nervous for your reaction to her words, squeezing your left hand to signal she was done talking for now.

"some of the girls at school have been talking about it too." you confessed. "are you thinking about...wanting to do that?" you asked gently, not wanting her to feel as though you were judging her in any way. "maybe? does that make you feel...weird, or anything?" she asked slowly.

"no, definitely not weird." you promised, the two of you sitting in silence for a moment. "i guess i think i'm ready? to do that. but i don't want you to feel like...pressured into anything. we can do it soon, we can do it later, we can never do it if you didn't want to." she assured, starting to ramble as you squeezed her hands, grounding her into silence again.

"i want to do it with someone i love and someone i trust and you're the person i love and trust the most lessi. i think i'm ready too, whenever it happens." you spoke softly, unable to see the blush creep up your girlfriends neck at your words.

and it did happen. it was a couple of months later when you had your house to yourselves, your parents having taken your brother away for the weekend for a cricket tournament and your sister disappearing around to her boyfriends house.

the first time it was awkward, nervous, weird and clumsy of course, neither of you had done anything like this before and you'd have been lying to one another if you said you both hadn't tried to do some...research on your own to try and best prepare.

but despite that, it was with alessia.

you felt safe and you felt comfortable and loved the whole time, it didn't quite have the ending either of you expected (that sort of ending came a few weeks later and boy oh boy...no amount of research could have prepared you for the feeling) but it only strengthened the trust between the two of you, and was yet another first you'd experienced by one anothers loving side.

they always say your first love is a little foolish, some may even say there isn't something called first love. but what makes those initial feelings of love most beautiful are it's innocence.

when you fall in love for the very first time, that innocence inside you, that's a precious thing. it feels like you give your whole heart to someone, and as if you wouldn't ever know anyone else to treasure and care for it.

which is why it was all too easy for alessia russo to be both your first love, and your first heartbreak.

~

it all started the day you got the letter.

your mum had found it first, fighting her every urge to rip it open and read your fate, instead leaving it neatly on your pillow for you to find when you returned home that afternoon.

you'd spent the day with the russo's, thermos of her dads famous hot chocolate in your hand, bundled up in a hoodie with your girlfriends jersey tugged over the top. you sat shoulder to shoulder with her brothers in the stands, watching your favorite blonde play in one of her final games of the season.

you didn't pretend to understand half the rules of football much as alessia had dedicated years of her life trying to teach you, and so her brothers knew to hit you with running commentary throughout. but the one thing you would always understand was the sense of utter euphoric pride which rushed through you watching her play, especially when she scored.

her arms would shoot up into the air and her eyes would always find yours, pointing up at you and her family with a lopsided grin, sprinting to celebrate with her teammates as you all screamed out encouragement, drowning her in whistles and claps before play resumed.

coming away with a 4-1 win meant they were in pole position to finish top of the table, and so alessia was unable to wipe the shit eating grin off her face as she emerged from the change rooms afterwards, waving goodbye to her team mates and jogging over to where you all waited for her.

she'd always hug her dad first, your girlfriend was the true epitome of his girl, and mario reveled in teasingly holding that over carol. you were always last, alessia always saved the best for last, picking you up and spinning you around off your feet as you'd laugh and sing her praises, the two of you hugging tightly.

"i love when you wear my jersey." she mumbled in your ear, sending you a soft smile as you bumped your shoulder into hers and the two of you made your way back to the car, her brothers talking her ear off about the game as you stayed stuck to her side, watching on with a quiet amusement, not understanding most of what was said but feeling nothing but pride for the taller blonde beside you.

luca had driven himself and gio as they waved you both off and headed across the lot, you and alessia slipping into the back of her dads car. her mum would always fuss over the two of you, throwing a blanket over your legs and ignoring alessia's insistence that she was still warm after running around for two hours, carol always winning out as your girlfriend rolled her eyes and gave in.

but the blanket gave the opportunity for your hand to grab hers, squeezing softly as you looked at her in admiration, her head falling tiredly to your shoulder as the two of you chatted along to her parents, waving them off as you pulled up outside your house.

you promised you'd give your mum a hug for carol, hugging them both goodbye. normally her dad would warn he'd be out the front no later than eight since you both had school the next day, but now graduated there wasn't a reason the two of you couldn't spend the next few days together if you wanted, likely flittering from house to house as you often did.

appeasing your mum with small talk for a few minutes you grew impatient, tugging on the back of alessias hoodie with a longing look as the girl would make an excuse, the two of you hurrying off to your room.

"why do you always make me end the conversations. i quite like chatting with your mum!" alessia rolled her eyes as you closed your bedroom door. "because she loves you more and she actually listens to you. and because i haven't properly congratulated you yet for winning!" you grinned as your girlfriend sat on the end of your bed.

"mm that so?" the blonde smiled, arms settling themselves around your waist as her chin rested on your stomach, your own hands playing with the baby hairs on the nape of her neck.

you were about to lean down and kiss her, when your eyes spotted it.

alessia noticed your frown right away, squeezing your hips to gain your attention as you shook your head, stepping away from her and making a beeline for the letter.

"shit is that-" "i think it is." "well, open it!"

"i'm scared. what if i didn't get in?" you admitted, biting your bottom lip nervously as alessia sat right by your side. "you're the most intelligent person both intellectually and emotionally that i've ever met baby, and you got phenomenal marks in our GCSE's. open it!" she knocked her knee against yours and you nodded.

"oh for god sakes." alessia huffed impatiently as you fiddled with the corner, peeling it off painstakingly slow as your girlfriend plucked it out of your hands, ripping the letter right open.

"no you read it." you shook your head as she tried to give it back to you, alessia nodding as her eyes scanned over the paper, face unreadable as you nervously bounced your knee.

"we regret to inform-" your body crumpled at that, flopping back into the mattress as you felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes. "only joking baby. you got in!" alessia pounced on top of you with a grin as you shot upwards, accidentally smacking your head into hers.

"oh my god i got in?!" you breathed out in shock as the blonde clutched at her throbbing head. "oh god baby i'm so sorry!" you squeaked out as she waved you off with a wince, opening her arms expectantly.

"i am so fucking proud of you. my pretty, smart, funny, kind, gorgeous-" the older girl kissed you with every word, the grin unable to be wiped from your face as your mum burst in, alessia very quickly jumping away from you as you filled her in on the news.

and as you jumped up to embrace her, your sister next to run in to congratulate you, alessia couldn't have possibly been any prouder.

but she also couldn't help but allow her mind to drift back to the box sitting in her wardrobe, signed four year scholarship and enrollment papers filled in and ready to be sent off to the states.

she knew she needed to tell you. but the thought of doing so punched a hole in her chest, and so she put it off as long as possible.

well, as long as she could until you found out yourself.

~

it was around a couple of weeks later, you were spending your usual friday night together, movies loaded and armfuls of snacks spread out on the bed awaiting consumption.

"lessi baby can i have a hoodie please?" you kissed your girlfriends jaw softly, the girl humming and pointing her foot toward her cupboard, engrossed in a video on her phone.

"yeah thanks, such a gentlewoman." you muttered, smacking her thigh as the girl whined and shoved you away. with a roll of your eyes at her lack of attention on you, you thrust open her cupboard, hunting around for your favourite hoodie which you knew she'd hidden, no longer wanting you to steal it as it was also her favourite to wear.

with a victorious grin you spotted the sleeve poking out from a pile of jumpers in the corner, rolling your eyes at her poor attempt at hiding and yanking it out. you frowned as a box lay hidden beneath the material, UNC on the front.

curiousity getting the better of you, assuming it was likely a new pair of trainers she'd bought and hidden from her mum as to not be told off for her spending habits, you opened it.

god, how you wished you hadn't.

your stomach leapt into your mouth as your eyes scanned just the first few words of the letter sat atop a bright blue sweatshirt.

"less. what's this?" at first she only hummed, attention still fixated on the video. "alessia. what is this?" you spoke louder now, the girls phone dropping from her hand as she looked up and saw what you had in your hand.

"baby-" "why the hell have you got a four year american football contract hidden in your wardrobe?"

"i wish you hadn't found that." she sighed, burying her face in her hands as you advanced toward her. "were you even going to tell me?" you whispered now, her head shooting up at the sudden change of tone.

"of course i was! i just...i didn't know how." she admitted guiltily, standing and trying to come toward you but you held your hand up in warning for her not to. "you didn't even tell me you were thinking about something like this, we tell each other everything." your voice cracked and with it so did alessia's heart at the look of utter betrayal splayed across your features.

"love-" "stop. don't fucking coddle me, explain." you forced out, letter still gripped tightly in your hand as you took another step back. "it's a four year scholarship to go play in the states. so long as i play with their junior team i can go to classes, live on campus and get my degree for free, and i get a hell of a lot of experience with a completely different style of football." she explained, a smile tugging momentarily at her lips, wiped right away at the look of disappointment on yours.

"i knew you wouldn't want me to go, or you'd try to talk me out of it." alessia admitted quietly, refusing to meet your eyes. "you what?" you managed out, shaking your head in disbelief. "i-" you started, trying to find the words.

"alessia i have always been your biggest supporter. i don't even like football but i go to every match, i make sure your kit bags got everything in it before you leave, i wear your jerseys, i let you kick balls at my head for years! you adore football. why on earth would you think i'd try to stop you from following that passion?" you frowned, shoulders slumping in defeat at her lack of faith in you.

"because it means we'd be apart for four years. don't even try to tell me you wouldn't have had an issue with that!" you were caught off guard at her sudden shift of tone, this one much more abrupt and sharp.

"don't try to project your guilt for not telling me into me being the reason why you didn't. that's not fair!" you shot back, alessia only shaking her head with a laugh. "you shouldn't have even been snooping around in the first place!" she snatched the letter off of you with a glare.

"snooping? i can see that offer is signed alessia, were you even going to tell me before you sent it off?" you asked with a hard stare, face falling as guilt flashed across her face momentarily. "you've already sent it." you realized quietly, her head hanging low all the confirmation you needed.

"wow." you breathed out, moving to sit down on the edge of her bed as you tried to come to terms with everything, feeling her sit down a few feet away from you. "when do you leave?" you whispered, feeling her eyes pierce into the side of your head but not having the heart to look up from the floor, the room starting to spin.

"two weeks."

your head did shoot up at that, alessia wincing at the anger, hurt, betrayal and disappointment clear as day in your features. "two fucking weeks. you didn't tell me and you leave in two weeks?" you breathed out, tears welling up in the corner of your eyes.

"i was going to i promise but i just...i thought it would make everything easier if we didn't-" alessia struggled with her words, tripping over herself as her fingers twitched and she rubbed her palms against her sweats.

"make what easier?" you caught on right away to what she meant, the room starting to feel awfully small as your chest tightened. and meeting your eyes alessia knew you knew what she meant. "everything." the blondes own eyes welled up with tears as you wiped at your face with the back of your arm.

"were you even going to tell me?" you asked, scarily calm as you stared her down, watching her wither underneath your piercingly angry gaze. "no." she admitted after a moment, burying her head in her hands, body wracking with quiet sobs as she began to break.

your legs buckled at that and your body fell to her floor with a small thump, your knees tucking into your chest as you curled into a ball. "so you were going to just leave and what? expect me to just...be okay with that?" you asked, unable to even wrap your head around any of this.

"you're going to college here, i'll be over there. it wouldn't have worked for four years and we both deserve to be able to make the best of this next chapter, i thought i was making it easier if we never had to say goodbye." alessia admitted quietly, both of you refusing to look at one another.

"never mind the fact i'm in love with you. i've been your best friend since we were five less, and you were going to just...get on a plane and leave me for four years without even telling me where you were going." you whispered, barely able to get your words out as red hot guilt flooded the blondes body.

"i was trying to make it easier."

"for who alessia? for you? by avoiding having to even tell me anything and just leaving me without a word? you're a fucking coward!" you almost screamed those last four words, chest heaving as you struggled to hold back a sob.

her silence told you everything you needed to as you broke down, your body convulsing as you sobbed into your hands, alessia covering her ears unable to handle the noise, tears rolling down her cheeks leaving a bitter salty taste in her mouth.

"get off me!" you spat out, shoving her off as she moved to sit down next to you, trying to wrap herself around you in a hug. "get off!" you yelled again, voice cracking as she shook her head, holding you firmly.

eventually she let go, collapsing into herself as you stood to your feet, vision blurry with tears as you stumbled around trying to collect your belongings.

"stop!" you sobbed as she hugged you from behind, yanking your bag out of your hands and dropping it on the floor. "don't leave me, please." she begged, voice no louder than a whisper as her face buried itself in your neck.

"i'm not the one leaving." you pushed her away, the force causing her to stumble as she caught herself and managed to stay standing. "you know now. we still have two weeks!" she tried, almost begging now as you scoffed.

"oh so i have two weeks to wait for you to break up with me? lucky me!" you spat venomously, trying to pick up your bag as alessia kicked it away. "we have two weeks we can spend together before i go. please! i made a mistake, a huge mistake. baby please i love you so much but-" her hands balled at your top, holding you against her.

"if you loved me you would have never lied to me about this. you would have told me the moment you even starting thinking about it! we could have talked it out! worked things out together! now i don't have a fucking choice and you don't understand how unfair that is alessia!" you pushed her harder and harder with every sentence until she smacked into the wall, blue eyes welled up with tears.

"baby please don't go! not like this!" she grabbed you again as you tried, wrapping her arms around you as you fought her furiously, hitting her over and over as her body shook with silent sobs but she refused to let go of you, feeling her tears drip down the back of your neck.

"i would have been okay if we were able to talk about this. if i had time to process this, to make plans with you, to talk about what it could have looked like for us and what we'd be when you were there. i would have supported you and this choice if you'd given me the chance." you finally broke free, stumbling away from her as you gestured between the two of you before furiously wiping at your eyes.

"but you didn't and you weren't going to. you're a liar and a coward and i can't believe i wasted so much of my life trying to show you i care for it all to mean nothing to you in the end. if you love me less, if you ever loved me, then you will do as you planned. you will get on that plane and you will stay out of my life. you're not my girlfriend, not even a friend would do what you just did to me." you wanted to say more, you wished you could find the words, you wished you could hit her again and scream that you hated her and mean every single word you just said to her.

but you didn't, you couldn't, you wished you could, it would have made it all easier.

you didn't allow her the luxury of a response, far too afraid of how easy it may have been for her to talk her way out of this, to lull you into a false sense of safety and security with sweet words and gentle intimate touches. to shower you with affection and quality time and praise, only to rip the rug right out from under you in just two weeks time.

so you left her before she could leave you, and you didn't turn once to look back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

part six

[cimmerian1275]

BOOM, have a random turtle person!!! (<- the guy thats my pfp) I cant think of a real name for them, kinda dont wanna name them, so theyve been given the nickname Jr for now <3 (NOT junior, just Jr like 'jay-arr' ykyk cuz im so creative /j)

I got carried away one night when i was googling turtles and i got struck with artistic inspiration to design something C: i discovered "Pastel" Red-Eared Sliders, and ohmygoshhhh they have really RLLY cool markings!?!? AND COLORS?! I couldnt resist the temptation to create a character with that inspo in mind! Ive been on a roll lately with concepts/ref sheets/designs sooooo, when art block hits? DESIGN SOMETHING!! The shade of green i used is probably too dark, but i just really liked that color and my brain wouldnt accept any other colors xd

The "red ear" stripe or whatever, WAS orange and i rlly like it... but after some debating and research i decided it made more sense to make it closer to an actual red (the orange is technically still accurate tho). The orange looked great and flowed real well but i couldnt help thinking it made them seem more like a yellow-bellied slider x red-ear combo of some kind when that is NOT what i wanted :C Its probably not obvious that theyre a pastel slider, but the face markings r the main indicator! From all of the images ive seen pastel sliders have way more complex/crazy facial stripes and i wanted to have smth like that (but seriously go google them the shell patterns blow my mind away).

At the time of posting this, ive got a massive canvas full of doodles of just- THIS guy lmao, and ive discovered theyre VERY fun to draw. And its an exiting new experience trying to figure out how to draw humanoid anatomy, ive discovered human shoulders are infact quite different to dragon ones and have a whole new set of rules when u draw em sjgfdjhhjdhjfss.

So, ig i have a tmnt character of my own now? 💀 i did not plan their existence (when i mean i spontaneously made them, i rlly mean i finished their design the same night i got inspired)... so, theyre just a guy for me to practice drawing humanoid anatomy with now.

Gonna make another ref sheet later but with some accessory options/apparel/clothes or whatever, they dont NEED those but i really want to practice drawing fabric (AND ITS FUN!!) its something i rarely draw and its probably a good idea to learn how.

[everyones-favorite-butchboy]

this is gonna sound so so so weird but i feel like falling in love helped affirm my identity as aromantic. like before this every time i thought someone was cool i was like “oh god am i not aro? oh lord what am i???” and now im realizing that there was no point to that lmfao for further explanation, the definition of aromantic is “experiencing little to no romantic attraction” am i probably more in microlabel territory? yeah. am i gonna use them? no. i quite enjoy just being aro. but im realizing that so far its all been gender envy or admiration 😭 i just find it so interesting how those things can work. like thinking food is alright maybe and “oh i must like this food cuz i hate it less than the others” and then actually finding a food you enjoy and its like “oh! i have a favorite food! still generally not a huge fan tho” thats kinda how i view my romantic orientation. its really a big part of me and how i’ve experienced my life and i love being aro and i love being in love and i feel like they shouldnt be mutually exclusive. obviously not every aro person falls in love and my life doesnt hinge on whether or not im in a romantic relationship. i still have goals and whatnot that are separate from that and i know that people can live fulfilling lives without romance and i want to make that clear but i am so glad i found someone. he’s incredibly important to me and i have no idea how i happened to think i had ever had a crush before because everything pales in comparison to what im feeling. i thought i had some sort of commitment issues for a while cuz i would have “crush” on someone and then if they said they liked me, i would get really confused and disgusted, especially if they made moves to hug or kiss me or hold my hand. but i dont have commitment issues and im not a whore and i dont have a problem settling down and im not a flake out. im just aromantic and i am so glad im aromantic. it is also weird tho because ive never experienced jealousy before?? thought i was maybe polyamorous for a bit cuz i just wouldnt care what my partner(s) or at least not a very jealous person. wooo boy. i think i was wrong about all that. sometimes it makes no sense on why i would even get jealous at all! logic dictates that theres no issue and i shouldnt be upset for any reason at all but lord if im listening to logic then i am a poor listener. its kinda frustrating tbh. i just want to exist and be happy but noooooooo my brain has to be stupid about the people my boyfriend talks to. 🙄

[mrmistakemakeroywg]

how i see "The helper" episode . (i have diagnosed adhd and autism fyi: everyone is different so take what i say with that context <3 not all autistic people are like me so please understand this is more based on my experience personally)

Really weird post i know but hear me out. When i watch "The helper " i immediatly think about having meltdowns as a little kid or just any age in general wether online or irl.

^ Like if you`re looking at it like i am, you can understand why id say it feels like hes having a meltdown / breakdown because something that makes sense to him most of the time, now makes no sense at all to him / freaks him out |

| (Being unable to help people because they do not need his help which he is not used to , thus making him react way worse then most people would sense it is something very special to him Like how people will have specific special intrests or hyperfixations etc) personally i freak out and get meltdowns when my pc is broken or needs fixed and i cannot draw whatsoever for long peroids of time. )

and how you / i would immediatly feel ashamed , nervous and guilty afterwards , or just generally exhausted or depending on the person feel like a burden on the people around you.

(also for this next part yes i know this is implied to be sylvia`s idea but it still makes me wanna tear up because it hits home way too hard) and other people will immediatly treat you as a "trouble maker" that has to be dealt with , punished or pushed aside even tho its something you cant help and sometimes cant even understand .

the dialogue espeically is a gut punch for me.

"ohh.. So this is the guy you want out of town "

" i get it " he`s hurt , and ashamed of himself. and its probably a stretch but i feel like this has happened before because of how he says " i get it . " then he tries to turn it into a positive as per usual to his character writing , thats how much he loves helping people.

its his special intrest / hyperfixation <3333 so of course he can try to turn it into something fun . and the rest of the episode goes on as he Does what they asked him to. and they immediately reward him for throwing himself out of their way .

(this genuinely makes me so mad i`m sorry fuck those towns people man you could`ve just talked to him instead GRAHHHH) and how he gets super happy after FINALLY pleasing them.

hes so silly :33

also this last bit makes me angry a little

"son"

"thanks" ( im going to eat your soul stfu /halfjoke )

"happy i could help!! "

"that makes two of us " (BONUS) ALSO I WANT TO MENTION the scene where he tries to " stop " lord hater. I feel like this is him being pushed to his absolute limit to a point he tried to do something very out of character just for the comfort and relief of "doing something good" like hes reverting to the basics of "being a good guy " just to get that comfort of helping someone again.

it reminds me of that Version of himself in "the wanders" where the piece of himself that holds his trauma / what made him want to help everyone is still not inside of him yet, and he goes on a rant about how he is going to stop lord hater

"wander are you okay ?? " "im MORE then okay "

"IMMMM PERFECT !"

"Now come trusty steed , its time to stop that HEARTLESS evil doer LORD HATER ONCE AND FOR ALL !! "

"wait what-" "stop ?"

"YES! i am a good guy , and he is a bad guy. " "AND I STOP HIM ! "

------------------- HELPPPPP.... seriously tho sorry for the long rant about this episode but it genuinely hit home so hard that i have cried multipule times unironicly because of it. Reminder that im veiwing this through my own experience of growing up on the spectrum (adhd + autism specifically) not everyone on the spectrum will be the same as me when it comes to this episode. I had to get this out of my system because it was eating at my brain sorry yall 💔💔💔

if i made any typos or worded anything weird its becuase its harder for me to write long posts plus as of writing its 01:17 on my computor clock.

[mxyzptplk]

i'm getting overstimulated with how much and how fast my brain is thinking about rain world right now so im going to write all my thoughts down in no structured order

holy fucking shit the fakeout at the beginning where it like, shows you a new region but its actually the original world is so funny in retrospect

hunter fucking killed a child thats so fucked up how could you do this to me

echo speaks iterator voice lines, is small, and has a round head so i can only assume that it's an iterator. if it's sliver of straw then that makes sense, but it could be someone new also

how does the purple rot do that it's not supposed to survive outside five pebbles what the fuck

the rotted lizards sound so terrifying jesus

it's funny how they threw out karma entirely afaik and just decided to let you explore with not much threat for death

on that note i love the karma flower's new functionality because you actually get to see what moon describes of it it's so cool!!

the hud also looks really cool

there's like 20 regions in this now

it's technically entirely lore accurate to put your own modded regions into the orb, because they're all completely different planes with different rules and lore

this game is a little bit more like yume nikki now i was hoping this would happen

they kinda fixed the lore issues with msc bc now you can say it's a separate plane from vanilla

holy shit the visuals for warping to another plane are really cool

i want to know what was up with the original plane. i hope i can go back at some point

how is reading pearls going to work? are there any pearls to even read?

five pebbles is probably dead but idk about moon yet

i also want to know if i can ascend by sneaking through the guardians with my invisibility and what that would look like. it probably isn't an ending but puts me somewhere new

they made different water levels good for them

i wonder if some of these planes will have different styles of gameplay, maybe 3d if they go nuts

it's so nice to get these thoughts out of my brain they've been zooming around in there for too long already

i will probably add more later when my brain is full of thoughts again

[f-imaginings]

I would like you to know that you are iconic.

“Knowing me knowing you” is one of the most gorgeous pieces of fiction I have ever had the please of reading. The beginning of the story is lovely, the middle is transcendent, and I cannot wait for the end. I truly cannot put into words how much that fanfiction has changed me- every character has their own likeness and personality, you write them all incredibly well and it feels like being immersed in a world beyond imagination. Whenever I first read the fic I was completely obsessed and I still am.

Some parts that stand out to me are 1) the lovingness in the beginning. They truly did care for each other beyond belief and the way that you wrote the toxic yet beautiful relationship has enraptured me in ways I didn’t think were possible. 2) The falling out portion was written with such utter skill that I am surprised anybody was able to do it so masterfully. And finally, the recent years. 3) everything with the pines kids and the family was done so well.

I am fond of the line “Stanford Filbrick Pines, my old flame” because it carries so much in the way that you wrote it. Simply replacing the word “pal” with flame in the sense that they once carried it for eachother… I cannot describe how much it itches my brain. The thought that they carried this relationship and all the loving and bitter feeling that came with it for so long, and then dropped it to leave in the past is a lovely form of description that you have hit in the head.

Then, the word count. It is rare that I see a fanfic over 200k words, so the fact that you have had this one going for so long and it’s just gotten better &better is immaculate. Not only that, but the feat of accurately chronicling Stanford’s life with Bill along with EVERY canon event is something that is unheard of. Your writing skill and the way in which you bend stories to your whim is compelling and intriguing in ways that I cannot describe, and I truly wish you the best as you finish this incredible piece of work.

Once more, thank you.

Literally me reading this gorgeous message ^^

You are amazing, you just came into my inbox and gave me these beautiful words that made my day just casually! You are amazing! Spectacular! Showstopping!! Thank you so much!

I'm so glad you enjoyed the fic! I feel like I say that a lot, but I mean it, that ppl can enjoy something thats been bringing me so much joy is all I ever wanted. Bill and Ford as a pairing is complicated, messy, conflicting and satisfying and I'm so happy that people have been enjoying the progression of that relationship with me as we now approach the story's end.

Writing this fanfic has been something that's been sustaining me for the past 8 years, and even when I had writers block after 2020 being able to get back to it last year and finish the story is all because of lovely people like you who take time out of their day to encourage me. Writing this story has made me so happy, and I'm glad it can do the same to the readers as well!

Because the fic is finishing soon (chapter 66 will be the last one) I feel oddly bittersweet about it, and I want to do it justice for everyone who has been waiting for weirdmageddon. Fingers crossed I'll make you laugh (probably make you cry) and bring it back around for the sequel Its The Best I Can Do when its all over!